#ladies of spn panel

[gayangelcrimes]

Doomed lovers

[crackers4jenn]

Okay, now that it's the next day and my brain isn't just a swirling hormone cyclone of horny Looney Tunes noises I wanted to recap Misha's live show a little more thoroughly for my own memories, since you couldn't take photos or record.

*

I went with a friend who's only experience of the spn fandom is via me trauma dumping on her about it. She's seen some of the show, post-Nov 5th, but she didn't develop any sort of attachment or, you know, "mild liking" to it at all. She gave up several seasons in and declared her life all the better for it. Fair! An appropriate response, actually.

But because of this, she didn't really have an idea of what to expect from the show. Same here - I mean, I figured there was going to be a comedic element to it - but that was as specific as my understanding got. I've been watching spn con panels online for years and years, though, so I knew going in what Misha's on stage humor was like, what sort of jokes he'd probably tell. She went in blind, and she did have a fun time, but her first takeaway after was "that was.... interesting." 😂

Okay, so first of all! The venue was separate from the con, we got there a little before 7 when they were supposed to open the doors, with the show starting at 7:30. Instead, we got let in late, but most people seemed pretty chill about it. I will say, waiting in line wasn't my fave. It was very loud, we were right by the bar, there was music playing, everyone was using their Outside Voices. With my voice so hoarse, I could barely talk with my friend without her first going "What????" so I definitely wasn't making pals with anyone around. But I did overhear quite a few people who had shown up solo who were finding other people to talk to. So if you're going to a future show by yourself and you're worried about feeling anxious or awkward or lonely, don't! The fandom is friendly, they'll make you comfortable. Even with my standoff-looking ass being so quiet, people were still complimenting my hair (up in space buns) and socks (strawberries) and being generally really nice.

The first part of Misha's show was a little clunky. He came out, uttered the words "enormous cock" about his newborn self, and it took some time for him to find his pace. But after about, I don't know, ten minutes, he seemed less awkward and more comfortable being up there stared at by so many people.

He talked about his mom dressing him as a girl when he was young; painting his nails, growing his hair long, putting him in tights. How this meant that, as a child, he thought he was going to grow up to be a woman. He also talked about how this meant he was a bit of a freak in his blue collar North Eastern hometown, and he got beat up because of it.

He mentioned his mom's activism, in ways that both positively and negatively impacted him. There were quite a few tales of close calls with drugs, of a childhood sleeping in tents, of being poor, of moving constantly, of being encouraged to not live by societal rules. When he talked about his mom, there was always a lot of fondness, and at the end of the show, he was straight up tearing up reading a newspaper article about her.

He talked about getting a boner in his first sex scene, when he had a role on 24. His partner in the scene wrote "hi, Misha" on her pasties and that apparently did it for him. This story was obviously rife with "my dick is so big" jokes.

He also talked about sneaking into a Hollywood Oscar's party v. early on in his career (as in, before he had one) and mingling with the likes of Jude Law (who, of course, was at a urinal next to him admiring his enormous cock) and Brad Pitt, and Chloe Sevigny giving him her number.

He talked about his kids a bunch. His divorce was turned into a punchline or two. (But never directed at his ex-wife 💖) He brought up his new girlfriend, so I had to sit there and endure the "I bought a sex toy for my long distance lady that she mistook for a birthday present for her kid" story, which!!! I knew was coming, that's something I had heard about from previous shows. And lemme say: uncomfortable to read those words, even MORE uncomfortable to listen to him admit it aloud in front of an audience that was half cringing, half cackling.

There were a couple points where he forgot where he was going with the story he was telling, or where he kind of just spaced out, or he played up the awkwardness. And it was all very charming! He's just a charismatic guy, he's got a great stage presence. The event was like a one-man stage production slash autobiographical comedy show, and somehow him oscillating between poignant sincerity and dick humor really worked. Probably because of the aforementioned charisma. And also that he's smoking hot. I mean!! I went paragraphs upon paragraphs without saying it, so I feel I'm allowed one objectifying "awoooooga" at the end here.

Anyway, I mentioned that my friend's initial reaction to the show was "interesting" but she enjoyed herself too and laughed in shocked delight way more than she doubled over in secondhand embarrassment, so, win!!

Personally, I had a great time. I've been to a few spn conventions before and I don't really enjoy the "dance, puppet, dance!" atmosphere that sometimes happens, or how parasocial it feels, but even when Misha took off his overshirt early on and flashed some skin, no one really hooted and hollered. He did label us his therapists early on, though, so maybe we were all respecting our professional boundaries.

In conclusion: 10/10, would do it again!

[leesha245]

So...my first SPN Convention happened over the weekend, and I'm still trying to find the words and emotions for everything.

In my head, I knew the ops go quickly, but I still felt like a deer in headlights when it was time to get a photo with J2 and Misha. My planned poses never quite got there. And so, I'm still in the process of trying to like my pics lol.

First, let me tell you -- Misha Collins' photos don't do him justice. He is gorgeous. I don't usually get starstruck, but I had a hard time looking at him during my Cas photo op when I asked him to heal the pain in the back of my head (an op that was gifted to me at the con by the way-- thank you ladies!)

My favorite moments were Misha's Good Idea special, J2's panel, and the wink I got after Misha signed my auto.

I am so proud of Misha for sharing deeply personal memories that can be described as heartbreaking, unhinged, and hilarious in "Misha's Good Idea..." He is a fascinating man, and I continue to have deep admiration for him.

Anyway, I'm trying to overcome post-con depression and be grateful for the opportunities I had this weekend and being able to share it with my new friend, Ding. We met in FB group a few months ago, looking for a hotel roommate for the con. Now that I know what to expect, I hope to experience it again in the future.

[canonicallysoulmates]

J2 Main Panel Charlotte 2023

I put this psa in the post for the Gold panel but I know some see one post and not the other so before we get into this panel quick psa that this con took place while the actor's union, SAG-AFTRA, is on strike. This means the boys cannot directly name any past, present, or future projects. For the sake of clarity I will be mentioning projects the boys are referring to by name but please be aware that the boys themselves did not do that they complied with strike regulations.

They had date nights! Jared said that they got to walk around a little bit on this day, as well as on Saturday and Friday they got some dinner ❤️

Jensen says he has some stories to share, and before the questions start he tells one of them; a few months ago D went to a charity auction thing in Austin, and she bid on a race car experience at the Circuit of the Americas track where he would get to ride shotgun in an actual racecar and get driven around the track a couple of times. As well as get to drive an exotic car himself around the track. She gave this to him as a gift, and at first he thought it sounded fun except when he asked her when it was she told him it was at 7am on a Saturday so he was not happy. He asked her if they (she and the kids) were gonna go and watch him and she replied no they were gonna sleep so he was like whatever, he got up super early, went to the track and he's looking around and the people at the track go over everything, they tell him to go downstairs to see who his driver will be and then he can meet them out on the track. He goes and looks at the chart and at first he thinks what he's reading is a joke but it wasn't his car was pink with a rainbow unicorn on the hood, and they name their cars, his was called sparkles glitter hooves which it had written on the side.

So he meets the nice lady who's gonna be driving him and he could tell she didn't want to be there that early either but she runs him through the whole thing, he gets in the car it was a big race car a McLaren, and they get to the track and take off do a few turns and they're not going that fast but he thinks maybe she's just warming up. They get to a section of track that's a straightway, it's over a mile long he thinks this is when she's gonna pick up speed, and she tried but the car was not accelerating like it's supposed to they got to about 50 mph and she tells him that something's wrong with the car and he's like "you think?" by that point they were already pretty far into the track so they have to limp back cause there's like engine failure. They roll in and she does offer to find him another driver but he says not to worry about it that it's okay thanks, gets in his car and goes home. Like an hour and a half later he gets a text saying his car was ready to get driven around and he deleted it, it was not a grand experience and he wishes he had just stayed in bed. Poor Jensen 🏎️

I do find it cute, however, that Jared says that if someone knows somebody who can take Jensen around the Charlotte motor speedway to leave them a card and show him some speed.

Question time!

Do they have a story about an embarrassing or ridiculous injury?

Jared says all of his injuries are ridiculous and embarrassing. For example he ripped his pants on camera for all to see once; also he pulls his back a lot and not doing really cool things like deadlifts or saving his children from a bus but by bending over and picking up a pair of socks in the morning. It literally happened one time when filming SPN (he says when working together on something in Canada) he got to work and said he pulled his back out that morning and Jensen asked him if it was from working out too early. And he told him no, that it was from grabbing some socks from his suitcase. And Jensen was like "grabbing some sock? were they lead socks?" and Jared replied like "no, they were regular socks they had some holes so they were lighter than usual." 😂 That and also tweaking his neck when drying his hair when it was luscious.

Jensen says he hurt his hand the other day while he was putting some stuff away in a hall closet. It's one of those closets that has double doors but the hinges are really tight so you have to shut them both together otherwise it won't close and as he was doing so he pushed on the seem and it pinched his palm and it was so hard that he yanked out his hand and left part of his palm in the door. And you can still see where his palm got pinched.

Related to that a few days ago he walked into his daughter's room and she heard him coming and was running away from the door but slipped and fell and when he opened the door she was on the ground and he asked her if she had fallen but she was like no but it was obvious that she had cause she was rubbing her elbow and her hip so he told her he thought she did and asked if she wanted him to hold her so he gave her a hug, flashforward to when this happened to his palm and he hears behind him "do you want me to hold you?"

He told her no and that he needed for her to go to mommy for some gauze and tape but they didn't have any then he remembered that when he had been going through a box of stuff he had seen a post-production s8 gift from Phil Sgriccia who would send them funny gifts and it was a little survival kit pouch so he figured it would have some bandages he could use till he could go to the store but it was salt, matches and a little thing of Holy Water.

Jared makes a dad joke about how this is why he leaves his doors slightly open so it's not longer a door it's a jar. That's actually pretty clever, that got a chuckle out of me. x

Keegan is there and Jensen asks him if he puts up with those jokes, he replies yes but that they're great....and that Jared's also his boss and he's the most amazing guy ever 😂

Keegan, asks a question, in the last year what have they done in their life that made it 10% better?

Jensen answers make the bed first thing in the morning. He didn't use to do that, he would maybe get around to it, sometimes he wouldn't go back to the bedroom until the afternoon and see it still unmade so now he gets up and makes the bed. Then I guess he remembers he's supposed to be married and he adds he has to kick his wife out of the bed first and then make the bed.

Jared quips that he's tried to get rid of some of his perfectionist inclines so one of the things he likes to do is not worry about whether or not his bed is made but seriously, he will not get on his phone when he's on his bed even if he wants to return a text message he won't do it on the bed, he will force himself to get out of it, and then reply. Jensen demonstrates what this would look like 😆

Jared says that truth be told he had the problem of if it was the middle of the night and he woke up and looked at his phone to check the time he would basically end up mindless scrolling, he would check the news, he would check ESPN, he would be more awake so he would go to youtube and then an hour would pass so if it's not important enough for him to leave the bed to do it then he just leaves his phone on the nightstand. x

If they were forced would they rather have the other's face for a butt or their butt for a face?

Jared saysJensen's butt grows better facial hair than his face and Jensen asks him how he would know that and Jared freezes and literally goes "do I answer that?" No need to Jared, we know 😏

So he goes for Jensen's butt for a face and says he could shave something to make it funny or like a heart. A heart, Jared? You want to have Jensen's ass as your face and shave a little heart on it?

Jensen answers Jared's face for a butt cause he could cover it up with a pair fo pants and Jared says they better be see-through pants otherwise he'd be wasting a damn fine ass. Without missing a beat, Jensen goes "Jared, I don't know if you know this I already have a damn fine ass." Jensen we have established Jared knows a lot about your damn fine ass. 😉

Next question is mostly for Jared but Jensen can feel free to answer: when picking a spatula what is his preference wood, metal, plastic or rubber, and why?

He says you gotta go wood because you can control the whip a little better. That when you're making an omelette sometimes it gets a little aggressive and flings a bit too much- at this point Jensen cuts in and asks him when he's ever made an omelette and Jared jokingly says on an online game from his phone.

Anywyas, Jensen says you don't do wood because you have to hand wash it, and you don't go metal either cause that'll scratch up your pan, you want a hard plastic they're dishwasher safe and not mess up your pan. x

What's their favorite inexpensive brand for whiskey or bourbon?

Jensen says Four Roses makes a pretty good inexpensive whiskey. Jared agrees and also mentions what I think is Diageo - I listened to the clip a bunch of times but it's difficult for me to understand what he says - which is actually a company that owns a large amount of the brands. Jared also says he used to prefer scotch to bourbon but now he prefers bourbon to scotch he thinks he likes a little bit of that sweetness these days.

Jared asks the fan which they like and the fan answers Jack Daniels. Jensen mentions that Jack Daniels is the only brand Robert Singer drinks. x

Any advice for senior year and life in general?

Jensen says he'll give senior year advice and Jared will give the life advice. Senior year advice do as much as you can, sign up for a different club, go play a different sport, try a different instrument whatever it is you're into do as much of it as possible because this is it. You're not gonna have High School again, part of the reason he's on that stage today is because he did just that, in his senior year he was playing baseball but he left the team early to do a play. If he had just stuck with what he had been doing the past couple of years he probably wouldn't have gotten on a stage and been "discovered" so try to do as much as you can and try to get as much as you can out of the year, you'll most likely be glad that you did.

Jared's life advice is similar, he says kinda do what Jensen said for the rest of your life. He remembers when he was a senior something was so scary about it because it was the finale of him knowing what to do with his life but the day after you graduate you wake up and you'll still be you and see there's something else for you to do so don't get overwhelmed by the seeming closure and finale of it just remember this is just a year in your life and if you're as fortunate as they were able to be where High School was four years of their 40-something year lives, you have your next 4 year growth cycle, your next 2 year growth cycle so this is just part of your life. Your life is not about to end it's about to begin. There's something strange and really scary but it should be scary if you feel some fear or trepidation about school being over that's okay but a year from now you're going to be in your next phase of your life. Somethings might look different especially if you follow as Jensen says and keep expanding your horizons, a lot of things will look the same but you'll still be you so keep your eyes on the future. x

If they were Earth embassadors to aliens what would they tell them, and what would they show them?

After joking around about face/butt, Jared says he thinks he would have more questions to ask than answers to give. He would probably try and communicate they mean them no harm, and he thinks he would show them a young child, be like we mean you no harm, and look how cool life can be- Jensen says here take this one, it's okay I got two more, and Jared says I have three that you can have 🤣

But no, he thinks becoming a parent is such a cool promise like seeing a baby or seeing a young child and thinking they have their whole life in front of them, they're gonna be going to their senior year, they're gonna fall in love, maybe they'll have kids of their own it's how wonderful life can be down here so please don't destroy us.

Jensen concurs that showing them the best part of humanity probably the smart way of doing things. x

If they could choose anywhere to live other than where they grew up, or where they live now where would it be?

Jared replies he has a soft spot for Italy. He loves Italy so if he were to choose somewhere international it would be there, if he was gonna choose somewhere in the states he really likes the mountains a lot. Someone in the crowd shouts Virginia and he says Virginia is awesome. Jensen asks if just mountains, and Jared replies yeah, and then gives as an example Sun Valley in Idaho where he got married, says G's family still lives there and they go visit. He says the older he becomes the less he can deal with the 100 degree hot weather in the city so somewhere cooler. He likes North Carolina too, they have a friend who lives in town and he has a place about 20 mins away from where the con is taking place and it's great no bugs, no sweat, beautiful. The crowd is shocked by the no bugs comment, and Jared says he didn't have any bugs do they have bugs and the crowd collectively says yes so he says he doesn't like Nort Carolina that much, he likes it less now 😂

Jensen doesn't know, he says he thinks he's pretty happy where he is.

Interesting answer coming from you at this period if time sir, where exactly is it that you're happy cause door was wide open to mention Connecticut and yet.....x

The next fan is from London and y'all know Jared had to do some accents, I laughed so hard with "Wales" accent 🤣🐳

Is there a book that they have recently re-read, or a book that they have connected to so much that they would want to re-read it?

Jared says his oldest son is entering the 6th grade so he is reading some more advanced books that Jared too would enjoy compared to the stuff from kindergarden or 1st grade. For example he just read Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief and this year in his curriculum is The Outsiders which Jared hasn't read since before getting to know and become friends with S. E. Hinton, and he actually reached out to her to say hey and told her his kid would be reading the Outsiders for school and she replied to let him know the school and she'd send over a signed copy. So he's excited to re-read that its been a while, he did not read Percy Jackson with his kid but he would discuss the book with him. And that's part of his summer homework to read the book and be able to tell not just what happens in the story but also what it parallels to and themes it explores, but he's really exited to read the Outsiders again.

Jensen says he's not much of a reader but D is an avid reader and a book he sees her pick up again and again is A Confederacy of Dunces. x

When will fans get to meet the two luckiest women in the world, their wives? 🙄

Jensen says the wives might disagree with the fan calling them the luckiest women. He says he thinks they would do a con but that he thinks they find it kind of like it's the boys thing and they don't want to encroach. Jared adds that furthermore and he's pretty sure Jensen feels the same, and he says it sometimes kind of like a joke but he also means it who's gonna watch the kids? That he and G do trips just themselves but they'll try as best as they can to have one of the parents around just be a tether for the kids as best they can. That it's just hard to know that far in advance for them to plan. Doing cons is something he and Jensen love doing and the wives can hold down the fort. x

I am more than happy about the wives not doing CE cons but these are such obvious lies. Both D and G have done cons with the boys before so they clearly don't think of doing cons as the boys thing, G was even a last minute guest at JIB. The whole "who's gonna watch the kids thing?" for starters sir we all know you got nannies and even if you didn't you can afford one but more than that that question and the whole wanting one parent to be around thing has not been an impediment in G attending non-CE cons with him. Including in Europe. But really the most hilarious part is Jared saying that it's hard for the wives to know that far in advance for them to plan when, two recent examples, FanX isn't till September yet G had already signed up for it in July and if you're thinking that's just two months in advance Infinity con in Germany is in May 2024 and she was announced as a guest earlier this month.

Instead of lying and coming up with cheap excuses these men need to grow a pair and admit they don't actually want the wives at CE cons.

Last question, what was their favorite video game growing up?

Jared says if the aliens came to Earth and said they were gonna mess humanity up unless one of the Earthlings can beat them in a video game he would be like okay and say Smash Brothers for Nintendo '64. Jensen says Golden Eye. Jensen also brings up the theory that Mario's cathphrase "It's me, Mario" is actually him saying itsumi in Japanese which means super so what he's saying is super Mario, and he does say he doesn't know if that's true or not it's something he saw online. It's not! It was something that made the rounds on tiktok but it's not legit, it's actually a form of a dad joke. Itsumi is not even a word in Japanese it's a surname.

What Jared says about Mario being named after Nintendo's landlord is partially true, they didn't do it because he let them live somewhere for free, they did it because the employees at the warehouse which is what he was renting to the company thought he resembled Mario so they nicknamed the character Mario and then the creator Miyamoto found out about it and he liked it so he decided to make it the official name. Real Mario's name was Mario Segale.

J2 Main Panel Charlotte

[hologramcowboy]

Recently, there was a video of the main J2 panel in Indianapolis (https://youtu.be/VWS4URkl-sg?si=nf8C7scfim0Jyx8o - 25:50-31:42) and someone asked J2 a question about sending highlight reels for acting roles, which they laughed at and said they don't really do that anymore. Both commented that their time in the industry and lasting connections they've made have allowed them to share relevant clips related to a specified role they want, get straight to meetings to discuss if they're a good fit for the script and role, etc. Jared mentions he's sent clips of when he was younger for more heroic roles. Jensen specifically details stuff like having experience with the showrunner and lead for Tracker, going on a Zoom meeting for when he was gonna be on Rust, and how his role for The Boys was the most intensive one to try out for. I wanted to know your thoughts on what both of them were saying, but also would like to know if the lasting connections made on the set of Supernatural (or other sets) are maybe the only advantage Jensen has when it comes to obtaining his current roles without more effort.

Also, this is related but unrelated, Jensen mentions ten minutes before that he's busy and excited with his new roles, trying to be a dad, and also mentioned that Chaos Productions has something in the works, but I felt like him talking about his own work had more enthusiasm than him talking about his family or his company.

It used to be that all actors required a reel to submit (by agent) or self submit. These days due to digital, there’s been a shift towards clips that are on brand. For example, if you are a leading lady you need to identify your main types( roles you’re most likely to get cast for) and record shot clips of such roles. You might do one where you are in procedural show, a comic one, one where you are the teacher or sister( because those are a part of your types) and then once a role pops us where the breakdown of the character matches that essence (e.g Fiesty Medic) then your agent will send the relevant clip directly to casting to show them you can indeed do fiesty and medical. This goes for any type of character. Basically casting requires hard proof you can do *that* specific character well and cares less about your reel overall. Of course, this doesn’t mean reels are obsolete, they are still a great marketing tool for actors, it’s just that once you reach a certain tier or when you have little experience, clips will serve you much more. They can get you in the room and on your way towards being booked. So, if you are an actor, I highly recommend identifying your main castable types and then creating on brand clips of scenes that match those types. Your agent will thank you for it and you could even post those online and get even more visibility.

As for headshots, sorry to break it to Jensen and Jared but they are still the actor’s calling card, no matter what tier you are at. They aren’t A listers so they won’t be shortlisted for a lot of roles, they need good headshots. It does help.

As for Jensen, it all depends on his team, he is pretty clueless about his own industry and so far has only been able to land roles thanks to networking. I hope his team pitches him to the right people outside of his SPN circle. Countdown might give him more visibility, if it goes well, and so might the SB spin off.

he’s always going to be more excited about work because that’s where his core value lies. We are each different and our core vary, one of Jensen’s core values is definitely having work as an actor.

As for what they both said, my fear is they are relying too much on their current status instead of being proactive, which is what any actor should be at any tier, especially if they plan on becoming A List. Marketing materials for actors are highly important, don’t just rely on your agent finding and sending a YouTube clip. You can do so much more.

Thank you for this beautiful question. 🧡

[lightofraye]

A recent conversation with a friend left me with an unknown, perhaps you can help! Has jensen ever explicitly spoken about or stated his own sexuality? I've been on this spn train for so long, seen and read so many interviews and con panels and I have zero recollection of him talking about it. (To be clear- not dean, jensen himself)

Thanks!

Hi there!

So I had to ask around because my Google searches were turning up far too many results about other things.

As early as 2008, Jensen would answer questions like that in a variety of ways at conventions, but roughly the same thing: He's straight. He would answer questions about Dean's sexuality like "He's a ladies man, just like me." or "As a straight/heterosexual man, here's my thought".

So.

Jensen is straight. (As is Dean.)

You're welcome!

[soullessjack]

How'd it go!!!!

It was amazing!!!!!!!! Alex was so lovely and funny to meet and such a sweetheart. I was also at Mark Sheppard’s panel and he is fucking hilarious, I almost got a headache from laughing so hard. He should seriously consider standup.

I sat through Rob and DJ’s panels as well before my meet and greet with Alex, they are both just so absolutely amazing and wonderful. And the meet & greet!!!! So much fun!!!! We were all really nervous, even Alex, so the conversations kept bouncing around but it was very much enjoyable! He started it with a whole bit about being a corporate bringing us in to fire us and give us a compensatory pizza party (also a funny bonus, we got on the topic of worst jobs and one of the people seated said “corporate hell,” and Alex said “but isn’t that all corporate?” love it so much).

I ended up missing the photo ops for lunch of all things lmfaooo, but we did a group photo with the meet and greet and airdropped the photos from other phones. If I ever get the chance to meet him again at another con I’m completely committed to getting a selfie with the stupidest angle possible tho.

I wish I could relay what he thought of the gifts and the written messages note but I could only be there for the day, so it’s possible we’ll never know unless he brings it up today or at another con. But I think he seemed to like it! He seemed most interested in the books I gave him, The Westing Game and an essay collection about identity psychology called Who Am I.

I also gave him ice wine teabags because that’s one of my most favorite teas ever and it’s actually ironically a Canadian brand! And he told me that ice wine is like a Canadian dessert drink but he didn’t know about the tea. And at his panel I grew enough balls to take the mic and actually ask him something! I can’t remember the full wording just from sheer excitement and exhaustion but it was something to the effect of, “Firstly I wanna say I really appreciate how much passion you have about what you do, and it really means a lot to me as an artist that you still care, so from one artist to another thank you for caring about your work, and what are some other things that inspire you to keep caring.” Sadly I don’t remember what he’d answered, but I’m sure once the panel goes up on YT I’ll find it again and be able to absorb it in the quiet peace of my cave

(It’s honestly a little embarrassing how much of this I actually don’t fully remember, but supposedly that’s a natural experience for people going to such exciting events like concerts or cons. Too much excitement and joy it all just blots out in your brain or something).

I truly enjoyed every bit of it, but for me the absolute highlight of the day was just being given his bracelet in exchange for what I’d given him. Not even kidding, I sobbed over it in my brother’s car almost six hours later after we’d left. And towards the end of the M&G (which was sort of rushed to make time for Osric’s panel but that’s ok) I asked if I could hug him and let me tell you. Hugging is one of my favorite forms of love language ever, and I’ve been told that I give very good ones, and I’ve wanted to give him a hug (I’ve wanted everything in this day practically) for nearly six years, so it was just amazing.

I never once doubted anyone who’s said he’s a sweetheart, but really being there and seeing him and talking to him and seeing that in the flesh. . It’s something else. I also had some very lovely and interesting conversations with some stand runners, like this one guy who has a comic series about the first werewolf and we got into a convo about Superman and BTAS vs STAS and actually met the first black writer/editor/artist/everything for Superman in DC, Christopher Priest, and a wonderful old lady and her (presumably) daughter who sold exclusive-yet-expensive figurines and made their own sterling silver SPN jewelry for JIBCONs. Artists meeting artists. Loved every minute of it!!!

I also talked to this sweet attendee lady who’s been to eight conventions beforehand and got some wonderful con advice from her. And one woman in the meet and greet circle who makes kandi bracelets and gifted me one of the many SPN themed ones she’d made! Right after the M&G finished I met my brother on the balcony and he’d been talking to another attendee from Canada who told me about her meeting alex yesterday and how sweet he was with her! She hugged us both and wished us a safe travel and yeah.

Overall it was such a wonderful experience and I can really see why it’s considered its own family and such a staple of the fandom. If I could ever go to any more in my life or even have my own stand set up someday I would honestly be set for life!! I hope you and anyone else who’s never gotten to go to one before has the same chance, because it really is so life changing and amazing. I talked to maybe like, 12—20 people of the entire attending population but I still felt so…connected with everybody there.

♾️/ 10 would absolutely no hesitation impulsive decision reckless spending do it again, especially to meet Alex again!!!!!!!

[heavenssexiestangel]

9 People You'd Like to Get to Know Better

Thanks for the tag @nickelkeep!!!

Last Song: Cheri Cheri Lady by Modern Talking

Currently Watching: currently a David Haydn-Jones panel from the latest Spn Creation Con in Chicago. But also, I'm on a SPN rewatch and need to watch 1x02... And uuh that's it ig? Really should get around to watch Battlestar Galactica.

Currently Reading: Sooo I started re-reading two fanfics. They haven't been updated in years but still are some of my faves so. Whatever. And for books... I am having a hard time getting back into reading books. But I'm trying to re-read The Golden Compass by Philip Pullman

Current Obsession: can Gadreel and Arthur Ketch be considered obsessions, I wonder? Otherwise, idk

Tagging: @ladyknightskye @quietwingsinthesky @fictionalbullshitter @fpwoper @synesindri @frumious-bandersnatch-ao3 @mrswhozeewhatsis @jensenis-still-deansnumberonefan @icecream-and-gadreel

[mybrainproblems]

Hey! I have a quick convention question. There’s going to be a con near me soon(driving distance, won’t need a hotel) and I can’t afford much more than general admission. Do you think it would be worth it to just go for the panels and maybe sns? I’d hate to miss the opportunity to see the cast in person but if I cant have the “full” experience of getting autos and photo ops is it better to just stay home? Thanks!

hello! i hope you don't mind me answering publicly with a very long answer to your very quick question, but i wanted to give my honest review of going to a spn con as someone who loves spn and spnwin, but did very few ops. as a disclaimer: i am not criticizing folks who get a lot of auto/photo ops (a lot of my friends get them and enjoy them! i love seeing ppl's photo ops and hearing auto op stories!) but it's just not something i'm super interested in for myself.

short answer: my favorite part of the con was getting to meet ppl who i don't get to see much/hadn't met before and the general feeling of being part of a community. (if that sounds like you, definitely go!) doing a photo op with a group of friends and the spnwin actors made for a cute memento and we had fun with it, but i don't think you need (m)any extras to feel like you had a "full" experience unless you really want to spend a few minutes with the actors. but again; i'm not someone who cares much about directly interacting with the actors.

even more in-depth response plus some recommendations for if you go:

the panels were really fun and i highly recommend the ones with kim & bri, ruthie and dj. my understanding is that they're almost always all on friday for 3 day cons. the "ladies of spn" panel is also a good one and was on saturday. karaoke on friday night is free and super fun as an audience member - i highly recommend it! i recommend SNS as well, but also i got to be there for the rare occasion that jensen sang lol. unfortunately i was a bit out of it bc of anxiety meds so i don't think i got the "full" experience on that one, though i still enjoyed myself!

i will say that if you aren't interested in either walker or spnwin and don't have (m)any ops, you're gonna have a lot of down time so definitely take that into consideration. the only panels i was interested in on sunday were mark s and j2 (the gotham screening was a nice bonus bc otherwise it would've been a really sparse sunday for me). bc the first half of the j2 panel was almost entirely finale Qs, it had really weird downer vibes (the crowd/Qs really impact the panel vibes). once they started getting more general questions about spn and their other work it picked up a lot. jared and jensen both talking about their kids was really sweet and was probably my favorite part of their panel.

** unfortunately, both sp8 and rob had to back out due to conflicts/illness which was a bummer and i think i'd have enjoyed the con a bit more if they'd been there. but also jake abel filling in with a solo panel was fun and why i decided last minute to do jake and chill that evening.

all in all, i think the best part of cons is seeing friends who you may not usually (or ever!) get to see normally. and as fractious as the spn fandom is, we all love the same show and it's cool to see how many other ppl love the show. i really don't think auto/photo ops are necessary for a "full" con experience. m&gs might be worth the money if you wanted to get some actual time with the actors but those can be $$$ and stressful to get due to the auction process. photos are a cute memento but they are very rushed due to timing with panels/autos/m&gs. i didn't do an auto op but my understanding is that while it varies person-to-person, usually you only have a minute or two with with j2m; things are more relaxed with the rest of the cast. if i were an artist/had spn fanart i was proud of making, i'd probably do an auto op tho! (i mean, i do have spn fanart i'm proud of. but bc of the media i used, it would feel more like getting it defaced vs acknowledged lol)

side note: i do some event organizing with tight schedules as a part of my job and seriously, hats off to the scheduling folks and organizers at these events; the actors really do love engaging with fans which means almost everyone runs over and somehow the staff manage to keep the wheels not only on, but turning.

for reference, these are the "extras" that i did:

friday night karaoke (free with fri/full weekend admission - highly rec & did i mention it's free?)

SNS (definitely rec!)

jake and chill (fun, but not a "must-do")

group photo op with spnwin cast and friends

group photo op with baby and friends (v affordable and relaxed!)

i mean this in the kindest way; if you really feel like you're going to be missing out not getting any direct interaction with the actors, then i'd say skip it and save up for next time if you can. the worst feeling is paying the top of what you can afford for something that isn't quite what you wanted.

one crit thing i will say tho and i feel kinda bad about it: i thought i was prepared for how personal fans were going to get with the actors during panel q&a and... i was not. afaik CE no longer screens Qs and i don't want them to, but i wish some fans would keep in mind that their catharsis might be someone else's trigger. it's not like it happened a lot or destroyed my experience (i'm planning to go to another con in 2024), but i've never needed to take that much xanax over the course of 72hrs before.

[greenappleeyes]

Ladies of Spn panel, Minncon 2018

My god they are beautiful. (Inside and out. 💕)

[femslashspuffy]

You know I’ve seen a lot from creation con and I have a feeling this straight up isn’t true

[dreamgirledward]

wishing all my mutuals, if there are any, a very have fun at the spn cons and don't let people make you feel bad for going :)

[cooloddball]

I woke up to see a lot of people saying that they no longer believe in cockles because of the Gish zoom reunion and a very long ask on the same. I was skeptical to watch it at first but some very nice people @green-blue-heller and @thegandy told me it was an amazing panel. Well, ladies, the peer pressure worked and I watched it. I have to say, that panel was the most adorable zoom panel they've had together. It was 20 minutes of pure joy and serotonin boost on my pant. So thank you.

Now back to the panel. I watched this video from the official Gish YouTube account so that's what I'll be referring to. I don't know if there are any other videos but well, let's go.

Let me be honest, waiting for the ceremony to begin, I was nervous. These two are total chaos together so I was already suffering from second-hand embarrassment way before it began.

Jensen being an old man who doesn’t understand technology will never not be funny to me because this guy has been in Hollywood since he was 18 and you would think he would know how to operate a camera.

What’s happening with your face, ‘I can’t.” who taught you that lingo, Jensen? It’s very hip.

Misha pretending not to know that he had that filter on, yeah sure Jan.

Jensen’s excitement when he saw Misha’s face. Can someone please look at me like that? I mean I don’t have big beautiful blue eyes like Misha but still—c’mon.

Is it just me or was it more like they were flirting while talking about the whole "how’s filming going?"

Mish saying, “Early on you were worried that you gonna have to act professional.” Is it just me or does this sound like pillow talk?

They look so happy to be together again even if it's not in person.

Misha knows Jensen won’t go back to the States until June. How do you know Misha?

Misha calling Jensen Buddy?Man?Dude? Is it just me or is Misha trying way too hard to call Jensen all the dude-bro names that he can come up with?

The look Jensen has on his face when talking about JJ’s birthday

Jensen is so handsome.

Why was the conversation about Jensen technically being a Canadian so funny? is it an inside joke that we missed or? Misha is literally just saying that Jensen is technically a Canadian having lived there for almost 20 years.

Their conversation flows very naturally. It’s not forced or anything.

Jensen hulking out. Yum. I'm looking respectively, please.

"It's like hat head on your face."

The hat head comment is followed by Misha saying, "jensen, I miss you so much, man"

And Jensen saying, "you too brother" then immediately segues to talking about texting Jared and how they all can’t all wait to be together. Not weird at all. Also, is it just me or does Misha look kinda ‘not happy about that? Not in a bad way but maybe he wanted Jensen to say he misses him too?

Misha knows Jensen stoic about showing emotion. Yeah, they know each other well. Misha calling out Jensen for not showing emotion- performing masculinity and Jensen agreeing.

The silent disco moment was lit.

Are they moving closer to the camera?

Also, Misha showing a sliver of skin. Yes show your man your titties on main Misha why don’t you?

Also, Jensen pretending not to know who Jewel is when they clearly know each other. He was even and has even been on her show with Dee. See, this is how he acts. This is to all the people who say he and Misha are not friends because he doesn't know anything about his organizations. That's just how he is. He likes playing coy and grumpy.

Why did Misha specifically ask if his [Jensen's] family was still Colorado?

In regard to Jewel? He could’ve just said “she’s from Colorado too” It’s either,

he wanted people to know where Jensen’s family was which doesn’t make sense, or

he wanted us to know that he didn’t know where they are which is also weird like guys you don't have to try so hard to prove you don't know each other's whereabouts.

They are so in sync even on a zoom call. What do they say about old habits? Keep moving closer why don't you?

That hand sign Jensen did. Did Misha teach him that? Misha does that sign a lot.

Beard grooming regimen. Yes, Jensen come through for the beard growers. Thank you Misha for that question btw.

When Charlie said Jensen uses a horse brush on his beard.

Misha is so cute guys. Wtf? Also his eyes. Misha’s nose crinkles when he laughs and Jensen’s eye crinkles when he laughs.

Jensen talking about his beard was freaking hilarious.

When Misha is showing his greys Jensen keeps moving closer to the screen as if he will see better or touch it the closer he gets to the screen.

"See this is what happens when I don't see you for the better part of the year." So it means you have seen him between May last year and May this year, right? Tell us more.

What does for the better part of a year mean?

It means more than half. The better part of a year could be used to describe a period of seven to eleven months. It's typically used to give emphasis to how long something took. Like many idioms (keep an eye on something, face me, smell a rat) it isn't literal.

Misha saying he’s going grey because he is incredibly stressed out for not seeing Jensen for a while. That laugh and the awkward pause after Misha said that. And Jensen agreeing

Misha, you know about the album. This is just marketing for your husband’s album. We saw you liked that post of the album post so don't play coy now.

Jensen asking Misha where he is? Okay, hear me out. This is weird because when they organized the zoom, they had to talk about Time zones, right? So, why wouldn’t he know where Misha is?- performing masculinity, again.

Jensen camped in Ojai and calls it a special place. Reminds me of how they talked about the Vatican being magical when a priest conducted a mass for just the two of them under the Lucifer and Micahel mural.

Misha wants to go to Marfa really badly. Did your husband share those gorgeous photos with you? Jensen please put them up. We wanna see. And take your husband to Marfa once you are back home.

Love you, my friend. Misha finally said he loves him back, live on video.

Wait, Misha is trying to end the conversation but Jensen keeps on interrupting so he can linger on. Hmm..

I swear Jensen said okay babe. The way his lips moved to form the /b/ sound. He said it people.

Jensen stop lingering.

Why did Jensen say he’s going to sit on the couch for the rest of the day? Did he want Misha to tell him to join them for the hunt?

Misha is texting Jensen right? Because his whole demeanor changed when Jensen left and got this serious look on his face. You can clearly see it's like he received a text right after Jensen logged off and he had to respond.

Charlie is so cute.

Overall, I think this panel was sweet and flirty, and fun. Jensen calling Misha brother had the same effect as Misha calling him man/dude/my friend. Did people expect Jensen to call him sweetheart throughout the panel when clearly this was an event that people who are not even in the spn fandom are watching from all over the world? C'mon. But in the end, he called him babe so there's that.

I'm also happy that they didn't talk about the show because it shows their friendship is more than just about that shit show (affectionate) that was spn.

[canonicallysoulmates]

J2 JIB11 Panel

The stars aligned and this year both boys were able to attend JIB which means we got a j2 panel! 🙌

There was a cute and funny moment at the beginning of the panel because Jared went to give Jensen a fist bump but he didn't notice and I guess Jared told him and he cracked up laughing and then they fist bumped. Jared shares that their flight got delayed, and that morning he was signing something and a fan asked him how he was and he replied that he was good that he actually felt awake even though he didn't look it and she just went "oh, i know. your face" 😆 To be fair, both of them do look and sound tired.

Also, you'll notice both are wearing Gucci jackets, they were a gift to them and M from Daniela the organizer of this event.

Jumping into the questions, first one up is: Has there ever been a moment on set where they had to overcome their, or one of, their greatest fears to shoot the scene? For Jared the thing that comes to mind is French Mistake. He says it's one of the most nervous times he's been on the spn set due to all the comedic stuff. He didn't feel comfortable doing comedy as Sam, so he would get really nervous when Sam had to be funny because he was like "Sam’s not really funny he’s kind of just chill". He got really nervous shooting some of the comedic scenes but that otherwise it was pretty fun even the stunt stuff. 

Jensen agress and says he doesn’t think there was ever a greatest fear moment while they were filming spn. That they’re doing network tv which is pretty tame in the world of television and they don’t really write stuff that he thinks would be too out of their comfort zone, and after a few seasons the writers knew what their comfort zone was and kind of played in that and utilized it. He was more uncomfortable doing stuff in The boys.

Jared says he looked comfortable, and Jensen replies "it’s called acting dear boy. I was not comfortable". He says that he was very nervous in a few of those scenes, so much so that he called his mom and told her she'd want to skip the show, that she was not the target audience.

Jared asks him if he has ever shared the story about him calling Kripke and saying he was unsure about some things. He has. Jensen says there were a few scenes he was asked to do that he didn't know he had a line but Kripke found it and Jensen couldn't cross it, he has children who may grow up and see this. Says he thinks there was supposed to be more revealed when Soldier Boy was revealed for the first time and there was supposed to be a little bit more intimacy when Soldier Boy had his fun with the ladies. And he once again shares about how his first day on set, the very first scene he had to film was stepping out of the capsule in front of his new cast and crew butt naked.

Jared makes a joke that he has some of the behind the scenes stuff and he’ll post it later and Jensen quips no pun intended 🤣 We know you do baby 😏

Jared also adds that the most nervous he ever got on the set of spn for another person was the scene where Sam gets hit by a car. It wasn’t him, and their stunts while not dangerous were intense but they felt they could take the hit or do whatever but when his stunt man Mike Carpenter did that scene, he had short hair so they put a bald cap on him and put like a thick liquid padding and then the Sam wig and that’s all he had covering his skull for getting hit by a car. And with this type of stunt there's no way to really control it like the way you land, you just have to try your best not to land on your skull. So they do it the first time, they're watching it wondering if he's gonna get up he does, then the second time his foot got caught on the bumber and he got dragged, and the third time he got up and usually stunt actors and actresses they can have like a broken bone and still say they're all good and ask if they need to do it again but this time he got up and said he was done.

Going back to The Boys, Jensen tells the story about how there's a scene where he picks up Karl Urban's character Butcher, throws him over his head and slams him into a desk, obviously this was done with a stunt guy who was wired up cause Jensen's supposed to be super strong flinging this dude over his body with one arm. So at the appex which is when he's right above Jensen's head, they let the wires lose and Jensen actually slammed him as hard as he could into the desk, they’re not slowing the guy down and the first time he did it Jensen was surprised and was like "omg are you okay???" The dude popped back up, said he was fine, to do it again to which Jensen was like ' I don't wanna' but they did and once Jensen got used to it he felt like a beast. x

What's the stupidest injury they’ve ever got on any set? Jared asks, "how much time you got?"

Jensen says they both have a list of these but the first that comes to mind he thinks it was Wendigo, when he was pulling the gun out of the back of the Impala- Jared corrects him this injury actually happened during Hook Man. Basically, he was grabbing a riffle and he pulled it from the center of the gun and the butt of it got caught on the edge of the trunk and the barrel came up and hit him on the eye, and split him open. He says it was pretty stupid and self inflected too so he has no one to blame but himself.

Jared tells the story of how when they filmed the scene where Leviathan!Sam and Dean rob the bank, they’re supposed to fire off some rounds to get everyone’s attention but his gun was too high so it was out of frame and couldn't be seen so he was asked to keep it lower so he did thing is this is a gun he had never shot before- Jensen says that if it had been a normal gun Jared would have been fine but that this one was a weird russian fully automatic machine gun. Anyways, they do the next take with Jared holding it lower and as he starts firing, something is hurting, he can immediately feel something is wrong so he stops and says he thinks he has to do something different and he looks over at Jensen who's kinda looking at him- Jared had managed to burn himself with the hot brass casings as they were ejecting so he had a bunch of ash burn marks, some of which were bleeding from the impact, across his face. Jared also mentions that it was happening so fast that if it had been a bit lower it would have gone right into his eyeball. Let's all be thankful that did not happen! But also, Jared, how are you going to say y'alls stunts weren't dangerous and then tell stories like this.

Also, right before he tells this story he tells Jensen that he's going to know right away where he's going with this and he's right because the moment he says Leviathan!Sam and Dean in the bank Jensen laughs and says this is one of his favorite Jared bonehead moves, and when Jared is telling the story Jensen says that what he loves is that Jared kept going even though he was being hit in the face. x

If they were to attend a con to meet people who would their dream guests to meet be? Jared says this question is similar to the question of if you could have dinner with somebody who would it be, and his initial response to that is are they going to be honest like if he met Obama or some other world leader would they tell him the truth or would they give him canned answers. He thinks he would probably go mostly to musicians, like Eddie Vedder, he thinks actors bore him cause he is one. He finds himself boring so he feels like the soundtrack of his life is what he would go to; Jensen agrees, he goes with musicians as well even though they don’t really do cons that's more an actor thing to do that being said he thinks Keanu Reeves is an interesting guy. He’s trying to think of who he would want to listen to answer questions and speak about things involved in the industry, he wouldn't mind listening to some of the Marvel cast like RDJ strictly for curiosity purposes not like 'omg Iron Man!' but because he thinks RDJ is an interesting fellow who as a lot of interesting things to say about topics he could related to so he would do it more out of curiosity. x

Would they talk about their tattoos?

Jensen says he hasn’t gotten anything new in a while the latest was a little thumb one he got with JDM. Basically they were at a friends (he doesn't mention her by name but Sophia Bush) wedding in Oklahoma and D and Hil were doing something with the bride which meant they had the afternoon free so naturally as one does with JDM you go for beer and tattoos. Jensen says Jared has gotten a few more than he has recently.

Jared replies there’s a few on the list he hasn’t gotten yet, but he has the basquiat crown with JDM and Jensen which they got at JDM's wedding, the day after spn finished he got one with his friend Bruce which is like a geometric design that when asked about what it is he jokes it’s an iphone update it didn't actually have a meaning it's just a random design that he liked how it looked, a star on his bicep, a "come and take it" kind of thing which he says is really cool because he thinks a month later after he got it come and take it become a women’s right thing in Texas, and he also has an homage to Dr. Seuss story Oh, the Places You'll Go! with a T for Tom, A for Austin which is Shep's name and a little moon for Odette.

They ask if the fan has any tattoos, she does, she has an AKF one and also one for the band A-ha who sing Take On Me and Jared comments he and Jensen have both tried and failed to do the high note from that song. I would love to have seen that. x

If they were to go to comic con and dress up, what would they dress up as? Jensen says his go to would be Red Hood and Batman since he already has those costumes, but the fan says besides those and as he's thinking Jared says Bullwinkle 😂 And Jensen laughs and says, yeah, Rocky and Bullwinkle. I would pay money to see them dress up as Rocky and Bullwinkle 🤣

Jared also says Boba fett, he’d like something with a mask cause he’d like the experience of being around people who are passionate about stuff and not have it be flavored by like "aren’t you that guy who was on Gilmore Girls?” Jensen says he'd go as the screen character cause that just seems very comfortable.  x

What has made them remain best friends for so long? The boys joke, Jared saying it's been way too long and Jensen saying that for the most part it’s been contractual 😂

Jared says it's never been bullshit. Since day one they’ve gotten along and the why? Who knows. They have a similar up bringing and background and likes and dislikes and he thinks primarily it's that they got to see each other during their highs and lows. They went through a lot, 15yrs is kindergarten through college and he saw Jensen and what he was going through more than any other human being on the planet and vice versa Jensen saw Jared and what he was going through, his good times, his bad times, everything in between and so you kind of get to really know the soul of somebody not just who they are at their best. You go to a set anywhere you'll probably enjoy most of the people for the first couple of hours, then they get tired or they've had a bad day and they're an asshole or a jerk but he thinks for them it was just like 'hey, you all right?' That it's like they've known each other since birth even though they've actually known each other less than 20yrs. They kind of had a fastforwarded into the fire and they had each other's back and he guesses that's why, that he wishes he knew. Jared, my darling, you just described soulmates! That person who from the moment you meet you feel like you've known them your whole life with whom you have a connection and a bond that you can't explain- that's your soulmate! 🥹

Jensen thinks there's also that SPN is the biggest thing that has happened to their careers so far, and arguably it's one of the biggest things that has happened to their lives, it's certainly changed both their lives from pre-SPN to now and to have another person understand the multitude of levels on how that changed your life to the degree in which he and Jared know each other he thinks it kind of bonds you in a way that's really indescribable. Nobody understands what his life has been like for the past almost 2 decades more than Jared does because he was pretty much right next to him the whole time and he was also going through the same stuff both personally and professionally that Jensen was going through and that really bonds people in a way that's really indescribable. And that it's a good thing they got along and that they laugh at the same jokes, and like the same music, and cheer for the same sports teams that there's just a lot in common thankfully so when they were put in that situation where they were gonna be side by side for as long as they were it was really easy and enjoyable.

Jared also comments that he thinks in general, not just with working relationships or friendships, but with romantic relationships as well or family relationships he thinks it's extremely important to be able to tell somebody when something hurt you or bothered you, and vice versa to listen when someone goes like 'hey, this happened and it felt off base or it didn't feel cool' and for that person to listen cause if you're really good friends with anybody or are close with anybody you'll have disagreeements and you'll go 'well, here's where I'm coming from, help me to understand where you're coming from' and you'll listen and be like 'got it, let's move forward. ' So it's important just with anybody that you care about to shoot straight. x

A big part of acting is dealing with rejection how do they both deal with keeping motivation in trying to act when getting rejected? Jared says this reminds him of a story of when he was still on Gilmore Girls.

He was auditioning like half a dozen times a week for other projects, and he had bought a house in the valley in LA, and a friend of his then girlfriend came over for like a housewarming party and he was showing her around and by his bed in his bedroom he had a stack of 12 or 15 scripts all stuff he was reading and hoping to get an audition for, and she looked over and asked if those were all the auditions he'd been on, Jared kind of laughed and told her to follow him and walked her over to the garage where he had cardboard boxes full of scripts. He had 300 to 400 scripts of auditions he had been on in the past 3 to 4 years.

He thinks the way he deal with rejection now is to treat auditions or meetings as maybe it’s my performance, maybe this is my chance to play this character and also now that he and Jensen have been on the producing side he realizes how silly casting sometimes gets, there can be 5 people who do an amazing job but they're going to be acting with a brunette and they don't want them to look to similar so they decide to go with a blonde or vice versa, or someone is 5'11 and that's too tall to play a 14 year old because they'll be acting with someone whose 5'3 so it comes down to random things. And that's helped a little bit, seeing the vagaries of casting and subtle nuances that don't even really make sense so he tries to go 'all right, I do my best and if that's the last time I get to play the character then so be it'. (sidenote: Jared pulling out the fancy words, first time in my life hearing the word vagaries)

Jensen says he thinks as one gets older your way of dealing with rejection changes. He and Jared have had really great succes so far in their lives and in their career so when there's rejection now he thinks they can both stand firm on the fact that they've been validated by a multitude of people and their career reflects that so that if somebody says 'no, we don't want you for that role' or 'no, we don't like that idea for a show that you're pitching' they'd be like okay, maybe it's not the right time, maybe they just don't see that vision, maybe they're looking for something else- at this point he quips that maybe they want somebody that's not so oddly tall and Jared quips back or oddly bowlegged 😆 But also that as Jared said knowing what they know about being on the other side of it has really kind of drawn the curtain back and see how a lot of times how ridiculous this process can be in getting to that final stage. So, he thinks they deal with it a little differently now. That early on, when they didn't have that affirmation to kind of rely on it was just thick skin, you had to develop thick skin, somebody says you're not good enough you had to know in your heart that you were good enough and that person just didn't see it. x

Last question, what does Dean mean to Jared and what does Sam mean to Jensen? Jared starts to answer that now, after a couple of years of spn being over cause it's been around two and a half years since they finished filming and I guess the fan thought Jared was throwing an indirect about asking this question after spn has been over for a while so they say it's because this question was prepared a long time ago, and Jared has to clarify that's not what he meant- it was actually a little funny, the fan didn't say it in a rude way or anything like that more like a clarification.

But anyways, Jared says he has more hindsight now and that he'd rather answer this question now than 2 or 3 years ago so where he stands now it's difficult for him to try and differentiate what Dean meant and what Jensen meant all he can say is that he learned a lot from both and a lot of the reason he's the man that he is and the actor he is is because he spent 15yrs looking at Jensen and then they're calling action and he was looking at Dean so it's hard to kind of really parse out exactly what he got- says he got his dad voice from Dean to which Jensen says that so has he, Jared continues saying he learned every step of the way and he thinks it was really exciting. That a lot of what he really liked about Dean was his keep going attitude and that's very similar to Jensen kind of like 'yeah, this sucks but we gotta get through it' or 'all right, we're tired it's 16hrs, it's 4am, it's raining or freezing in Vand and we have to do a fight scene but all right it ain't gonna do itself let's go do it' so that kind of evoked something in him.

Jensen concurs that it's the same for him but also that he knows Sam is a part of Jared, that Sam resides in Jared's personality so getting to see as many times as he did Jared bring that element of himself forward and then take on the embodiment of Sam was like getting to see a specific micro aspect of Jared and how he can mold that and play with that and tell the story using that and he's always thought that he was very gifted in doing so and now he's doing it with another character. He thinks he and Jared, because they weren't classically trained as actors and didn't have any formal training to speak of at all they had to learn to use what they knew and that's essentially themselves, Dean is certainly a part of his personality that is exaggerated, Sam is also a part of Jared's personality that is exaggerated so they got to play this kind of exagerated versions of themselves with each other and then they'd yell cut and they'd go back to being themselves so he really feels it's just part of the package that he got with Jared and he'll forever be grateful for that and he looks forward to the next time he gets to see him morph into Sam. Those are lovely answers 💕

J2 JIB11 Panel

[regardingjenmish]

The Ladies of SPN panel is also up (Kim Rhodes, Ruth Connell, Briana Buckmaster and Samantha Smith) [X]

[deanwasalwaysbi]

I've gotta say, I find the concept of Bedlund trying to Ben-Hur Jensen absolutely hysterical. I'm just imagining Jensen getting a script and being like "Ben?? What's this? Is this gay? This seems gay????" and Ben just soothing him like a frightened horse.

Hahaha - Look it wouldn't be the first time. What is this verb we're working with? Okay. Strap in everyone. The Multi-Oscar-winning 1959 movie 'Ben Hur' had a bunch of gay subtext. The writer, the director, and the second lead actor all knew that Charlton Heston's character, Ben Hur, was gay. However, one person didn't find out until the 1990s: Charlton Heston. The consensus on set was "Don’t tell Charlton, because he’ll freak out." and when Heston found out in the ninties, freak out was exactly what he did. (x) [the movie may have gotten a reference from Misha back in season 6 (x)]

Whether this happened with Jensen on SPN depends on two things.

Was the character of Dean intentionally written as Bi and, if so, at what point did that become true?

Did anyone tell Jensen? Did he figure it out? if so, when?

I personally DO believe at this point, I really do, that Bedlund - Ben Hur'd Jensen. I think it was part of the writers room but not all of it, until it was. (Which RN I believe finally happened under Dabb.) I think Jensen wasn't in on it, until he was. So for me? I think he really was in the dark at one point. But at what point that changed? Probably only he can answer that question. and RN? He ain't talking.

In the meantime we can only look at things Jensen has said on the subject - Like this unbearably ambiguous GIF set from @nikadd. Was this tongue in cheek? Legitimate ignorance? You're killing me, Jensen. That cheeky lil smile, Jensen. Nvm - I'm going to kill you instead. It's for my own survival. No hard feelings right? You understand.

UH OH HERE COMES A CUT TO HIDE A LONG DERANGED POST...

We can look at the text for number 1 - and I do that uh - a lot - see the blog name #Dean Was Always Bi

For number 2 we can look over some points when we got clues from what Jensen thought was going on [regardless of whether they make sense based on his jacting or directorial choices I guess] and get left wondering whether at any point he felt pressured to lie for his career, for self protection, or to protect the narrative from the network: 

2010 - 'We're missing the gay angel' (x) (Season 5 gag reel) (x) “Sorry man, not what the show’s about.” Jared: One of the good and bads about playing the straight [non-comedic] character on the show… Jensen: What wait? I’ve been playing him so wrong

2012 / S8 - Trenchcoat - Jensen talking about how sometimes they change the lines because they're way too gay. Calls Cas a third brother

2012 - "What's Destiel?" Ben Edlund: That’s some weird shit. Jensen: Is this something that you created, Ben? Ben: You don’t want any part of that.

“Don’t ruin it for everyone now” “I still don’t know what the question was. I’m going to pretend I don’t know what the question was.”

2013 @ JIB, re Dean’s reaction to Aaron’s flirting in the season 8 episode Everybody Hates Hitler,  (x)

“And the scene wasn’t written to be that kind of - I mean - It was written to be awkward.  Ben Edlund wrote the - my favorite line in that scene was ‘carry on . citizen’ that was - I almost couldn’t say that with a straight face I was laughing so hard.  But it was - you know - it was comedy. It was a comedic moment in the show and fortunately Dean gets a lot of the comedic moments in the show and it was just, you know, Ben was poking fun at the fact that - you know, how can we make this very kind of manly, heterosexual guy uncomfortable - uh -you know, or  or have him back on his heels and throw him off his game a little bit.”

The thing is - Bedlund and Phil Sgriccia made very clear on the commentary track that THEY saw this scene as a 'romantic comedy kind of fluster' "This potential for love in all places."

Ben Edlund calling the writer’s room a boy’s club in 2013 (x)

Misha Collins telling Destiel fans they aren’t Crazy in 2013 after some executives said they were (x).

2014 Jensen says he was glad there wasn’t much Dean and Cas in season 9  - HA Hah HAH (x)

“I think the whole Cas and Dean thing has gotten out of hand”  “I don’t think there’s anything secret to their relationship even though a lot of people wish there was” REMINDER - that season we got the nightstands acknowledgement and “play him like a jilted lover” and the “he dumped me James” cut and -

I certainly know that Misha and I don’t play that. SIGH. they Ben Hur'd Jensen.

2014 - the fan fiction joke - 10.05

“I didn’t have a positive reaction, The first time in I think 200 scripts I went and sat down in the showrunners office and said, ‘What in god’s name are you doing?! Why? I need to understand why this is happening.’” “[Carver] gave very eloquent answers and did a great job of explaining why we were doing what we were doing, I guess I had been aware of this ‘fan fiction’ for a while and I felt like maybe if I ignored it, it would eventually go away. When I read it in the script that is what I do for a living and is my work—I’m very protective of these characters and the story and I think we have a right to be—I wasn’t angry. I just wanted to understand why and what was the message we were ultimately sending with this script and story. By the end of it, I felt good and it gave me all the confidence I needed. It was better than I could have ever hoped.”

But then there's Jensen in 2015 talking about all of Dean’s bromances. (x)  [gifs at the top] Could go either way - starting to figure it out? or No?

What had changed if anything? the entire Crowely season 10 story line?  This was July 2015 - the same day as the SDCC 2015 panel where Misha talked about Destiel   (x @ 13) Carver and Dabb were there - 

By this time Jensen and Misha were nominated for a teen choice award for best chemistry against various tv couples (and one ensemble cast, but the award nomination did NOT include Jared) .... Misha and Jensen would go on to WIN this award one month after the panel.

At the Panel Rob and Rich ask the question: “You two have branded yourselves as TV’s greatest team since, ... idk who.... Ernie and Bert so.”  [Misha says to Jensen & Jared, half not on the microphone: “I really didn’t expect them to throw us under the bus.”] “are we going to see that continue? Is the Castiel Dean relationship still aflutter and still growing as we move into season 11?”  Jeremy Carver: “Ish.” [mocking from panel ensues] “Yes. Of course. I mean Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. There’s no doubt.”

Jensen Directs 11x03 and the choreo mimics Goodbye stranger (x)

2016 - Jensen: Dean could have a huntress, but you’d kill her.

Jan 2017 Con the infamous - no hedge - harsh - “Destiel doesn’t exist.” (x)

I would hope that if he knew he wouldn’t have been so harsh with it.  So by that point either he still didn’t know - OR - to him ‘Destiel’ was specifically about internet porn/sex and not like - the potential for feelings / a relationship.  It makes me think about something Misha had actually said, around 2013, “It’s called ‘Destiel’ and it’s about the romantic interludes between Dean and Castiel.” (x)

2017 - jib8 Jensen called Dean a lover of the ladies

May 2017 - After filming the end of season 12:

2018 - Misha confirms he and Jensen have talked about Destiel (x) - also 2018: The Bisexual Dean essay "? No." (Oh god was this really this recent?! I can't deal with this.)

Well. SOMETHING happened in 2019. cuz here it comes

2019 - "Dean has no taste, clearly." 2019 - 'So, tell us just a little bit about what you're most excited to tackle with your character this final season.' "Cas. Just like a full football form tackle."

Look at this face he gave Dean when Cas told him he loved him and tell me he wasn't playing into it here. You can't. (x)