#lactose intolerant milk my ass ......

[another-delta-lover]

Bananba milky:3

[skitskatdacat63]

Not a good idea trying to think about future plans at 4 am 🫠

[unhinged-jackles]

gonna be gross in the tags

[rexcaliburechoes]

i might be in spain without the s but it was worth it

[secretlyofthefeywild]

had a coffee and owie i regret it

[peacesmith]

why do i keep doing this to myself

[soysauceartly]

I can do my own taxes.

I can go to the store by myself.

I can drive.

I can vote.

I could get married.

But you will not catch me DEAD asking for my drink to be remade at a coffee shop.

[ao3lestappeninchident]

Can you do yapper Max where he comes back from night out and is drunk. Reader tries to help him get ready for bed and he just tells her the most random things

Drunk yapping

Max verstappen x reader

▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰

You were seated on the couch, blanket firm in your hands as the tenth plot twist happened in your horror movie. A soft yell left your mouth by the look of a couple cut of limbs as the scene became black. The music added a high suspense to the whole movement as you wanted to look away. Maybe it wasn't the best idea to watch it alone and without Max home, you thought.

The camera moved to an abandoned staircase as the music became louder and louder. Just when a door moved open and a face came out, a knock on the moved your attention away. You paused it and got up from the couch to walk towards the door. Looking trough the eye whole you saw Daniel holding Max in his hands.

You smile as you open up the door. Max was losely hanging into Daniels side as he kept on rambling his mouth. Daniel looked a bit irritated, but his smile was as big as ever. "Hi, y/n. I am sorry if I woke you, but Max is being a pain in my ass." you laughed as you made room for Daniel to walk inside. The Australian throws Max on the couch and a loud giggle is heard from your boyfriend.

"Don't worry. I know how Max is when he has a bit too much to drink. I hope he wasn't too annoying." you walked towards the kitchen to grab two glasses of water, Daniel may be less drunk but it was clear he had something to drink too. He thanked you as you gave him a glass of water before moving to sit next to Max.

You held out the glass of water for Max to grab. Max grabs the glass of water and shoots it down his throat like a shot. He sets the glass on the table with trouble and he groans before laying his head in your lap.

Daniel laughs at his friend's antics before walking to the door, "I leave you alone. Carlos is waiting for me in the car. And no, he did not drink." you wave him goodbye and you are left alone with your drunken boyfriend.

"Did you have fun?" you move your fingers through his hair and he nods. Max looks so pretty like this. His hair is ruined and standing in every way, his cheeks are flushing red and the top buttons of his shirt are unbuttoned. He always get it hot when he drowns his third G&T of the night.

"Very, but I did miss you. No one wanted to talk to me." Max pouts and you let out a little laugh at the adoring side. "Every time I said something, they moved away."

You stood up from the couch, "You can tell them to me while we get you ready for bed." Max face lits up and he stands up next to you. He stumbles a bit over his feet and you are quick to grab him by his arms. Together you walk to the bedroom as Max begins to speak.

"There was a cat tonight. I don't know how he made it inside, but he walked up to me, so of course I had to cuddle with him. Did you know cats have 30 teeth. I accidentally moved too close to a place he didn't like and I felt his teeth and you saw like a lot. I didn't hurt, he couldn't help it. " Max rambled and you listened closely to what he said. Of course the first thing was about cats, when didn't he talk about cats?

You helped him sit down on a chair in the corner of the bedroom and walked to the dresser to grab some pajamas. " I did not know they had 30 teeth. It is a surprise you didn't take him home."

"I wanted to, but a security person grabbed it from my hands to bring it outside. I couldn't find him after." Max answered with a sad tone. You saw how he had tried to untie his shoes, but the ties were now pulled fast instead of lose. You shook your head and knelt down you untied them. Max had to keep himself from falling backwards as his eyes close from the busy night.

"People always think cats like milk, but they are actually lactose intolerant. They aren't able to digest the lactose and if they have too much they will be vomiting. Of course a little bit wouldn't hurt too much, but too much is bad for them." Max slurred over his words as you finally pulled off his shoes. "Thank you,"

"Also i read somewhere that animals can have a different time feeling then humans. Smaller animals need more time to progress the movements and time will be slower for them. Like a lizard has slower time then a cat, but a tiger would be further in time than a cat. So technical animals and humans live in different time zones."

"That's strange. That they all live in different moment of time. " you answer while pulling his shirt over his head. "Hands up," you say and Max arms shoot in the air, almost hitting your face by accident, but he is too tired to see. You laugh as you try to pull on his pajama shirt, wich you know if going to be thrown of in the middle of the night when he has it to warm.

After some time Max had finished his teeth and was now sitting on the edge of the bed while you put on your pajama. "Thank you for helping me."

"No worries." you kiss his head and he pulls you in for a hug. "Lets get some rest tonight."

[disneyprincemuke]

who the hell is rocky? * fem!driver

who the hell does sebastian keep calling 'rocky'?

pairings: sebastian vettel x fem!driver, max verstappen x fem!driver, logan sargeant x fem!driver, oscar piastri x fem!driver

notes: here ok now she has a nICKNAME OK IT'S ROCKY IT'S ROCKY OK BECAUSE SHE LIKES ROCKY ROAD ICE CREAM NOW

(series masterlist)

she presses her lips together, turning the knob and peeking in. “seb,” she whispers into the room. “are you in here?”

sebastian raises an eyebrow, tilting his head. “yeah, why?”

“great, so i wouldn’t feel as bad sneaking in here.” she pushes the door open and quickly shuts the door behind her. she beams at him, shoving her hands into her jacket. “hi!”

he looks up at her, head still hung low from the papers he was looking at. “what do you want?”

“oh, we’re playing hide and seek with jack and laura,” she grins, walking over to the empty seat at the his table. she sits down and tucks her legs under her body. “and oscar, logan, mick… liam… i’m not in the mood to be found so soon.”

“so you’re hiding here? in my office?” sebastian raises an eyebrow, looking back down at his papers. “isn’t that cheating?”

“they didn’t specify where i couldn’t hide.” she puts her palms down against his table with a small grin. she extends her neck a little bit. “what are you doing?”

he flips the papers towards his body, shielding its contents away from her. “i’m looking at data. you’re not a cheater — go play hide and seek properly.”

she shrugs nonchalantly. “i’m the oldest child. of course, i bend the rules to make sure i win.”

“really? oscar and logan let you do that growing up while they were around?”

“no, they put a stop to that when i turned 14,” she presses her lips together and rolls her eyes, shaking her head. “but they can’t erase that trait when i spent my whole life polishing it.”

sebastian blinks. “seriously?”

“yeah,” she nods excitedly. “how do you think i got this scar above my brow?”

“from falling down.”

“no, ciara and i fought cause i changed the rules at the last second so that i’d win and then she attacked me.” she lets a moment pass when sebastian finally lifts his head to stare at her. “we were playing uno — it’s a very intense game.”

he furrows his eyebrows. “get out of my office, rocky!”

sebastian approaches the two hunched over in the corner. “have you guys seen rocky?”

logan lifts his head. “rocky? who the hell is that?”

“hey, what are you guys doing?” they turn around, seeing the younger driver with an ice cream pint in her hand with mick trailing behind her.

“i told you to stop eating ice cream, god damn it!” sebastian screams, hands darting forward to grab the pint from her.

“hey, it’s the lactose intolerant one!” she shrieks, running to hide behind mick. the pint pokes out of the side towards logan. “want some?”

logan nods, taking the pint from her. “yeah, sure.”

“wait,” oscar speaks up, waving his arms in the air. “seriously, who is rocky?”

“this dumb ass,” sebastian scoffs, gesturing at the girl now eating her ice cream again. “all she ever eats is rocky road! hence, rocky! breakfast is rocky road, lunch is rocky road—”

“dinner is rocky road,” she mocks, stabbing her spoon into her pint. “it’s okay that i’m eating this because mick got me the no milk version!”

“that doesn’t even make sense! chocolate has milk in it! so does ice cream! do you know what ice cream is made out of?”

mick sighs. “she wouldn’t stop bugging me for ice cream, okay?”

logan laughs, throwing his head back. he clasps his hands together, “tomorrow we’ll teach you how to say ‘no’ to rocky. it took us a long time to figure it out too.”

“really? that’s just what everyone is gonna call me now?” she tilts her head, shoving a spoonful of ice cream into her mouth. “we spend our whole lives without giving me a nickname and seb just comes along and calls me ‘rocky’ and everyone is just gonna ride along with that?”

“yeah, you can say that,” oscar nods with a smile. “it’s fitting, anyway. you would die for rocky road ice cream… right?”

“fair argument.”

“max,” oscar whispers. “have you seen rocky?”

max raises an eyebrow, pausing his conversation with charles. he tilts his head. “yeah, she’s in my garage.”

oscar throws his head back, blinking blankly at the older driver. “what would rocky be doing in your garage?”

“what do you mean? she’s part of my team,” max trails off in confusion, lips pursed in confusion. he glances at charles next to him, who simply shrugs and looks at oscar as well.

“no, she’s not. what business would she have being in your garage?” oscar raises an eyebrow. “unless you guys are scouting her for the future?”

“what? we’ve had rocky on the team for months.”

“she wouldn’t do that. she doesn’t like red bull.”

“red bull literally created her.”

“no they didn’t.”

charles furrows his eyebrows, looking between both of them. “see, i don’t think you guys are talking about the same thing.”

max points at oscar. “what are you talking about?”

“who are you talking about?”

“my race car? her name is rocky.”

oscar’s frustration slowly washes away as realisation dawns over him. he’d completely forgotten that max named his car. he laughs slightly. “right! sorry, mate. i was talking about (y/n),” he explains. “rocky.”

max raises an eyebrow. “who passed the bill to call her that?”

“seb.”

“oh, seb is good with nicknames!” charles beams, patting oscar’s shoulder. he presses his lips together. “why rocky though? that doesn’t really…”

“she eats a lot of rocky road ice cream,” oscar smiles. “therefore, the nickname.”

max frowns. “she’s got the same name as my car… that’s not… that will be confusing.”

taglist: @wcnorris @treehouse-mouse @laura-naruto-fan1998 @mindless-rock @leilanixx @ironmaiden1313 @angsthology @cherry-piee @christianpulisic10 @elliegrey2803 @cashtons-wife @sadg3 @a10vely-yutazen @mellowarcadefun @glitterf1 @megatrilss1885 @peqch-pie @gentlyweeps-world @woozarts @darleneslane @inejismywife @meadhbhcavanagh @2bormaybenot @love4lando

[mymoshangthoughts]

oki look im back on my "binghe and airplane are similar and i love it" bullshit

except this time i want these two whiny cut-throat bastards to run a cafe together

like binghe is the chef, obviously, and airplane handles the business side of things, and between the two of them, they absolutely make the cafe succeed through underhanded means

like

could they succeed as a business with just binghe's talents as a cook and qinghua handling the bills while the both of them charmed their way through customer service with their fake ass smiles? abso-fucking-lutely. but would they? oh no

qinghua is like releasing rats into the neighboring cafes and salting their sugar in espionage to make sure that everyone knows that the surrounding coffee is shit and the only place for Good Coffee is their cafe. he's making multiple alts online to just destroy their competition through online reviews and switching out the labels on dairy milk with non-dairy milk so that all the lactose intolerant customers are throwing fits on the regular because look, qinghua knows that a small lil cafe cant stand up to the big chain restaraunts, but he CAN destroy the reputation of all the closest chains to him like an absolute bastard

and oki, maybe binghe doesnt NEED to mansplain, manipulate, and manslaughter his way through everything, but gosh darnit, it's second nature to him. he is absolutely gonna hunt down any threats to their establishment and break their arms. and literally everyone who looks down on his establishment or leaves a bad review or otherwise gets in the path of his vengeance trail? loooookk, he cant be blamed for the way he smiled to their face while stabbing them in the back. they had it coming! they insulted his mothers lemon square recipe and thats an arm breaking offense oki

between the pair of them, they have the entire area quaking in confused fear. cuz okay, something i wanna talk about, the pair of them are two-faced and terrifying but like... 99% of people dont know that lmfao

(off topic but a personal pet peeve of mine is when fanfiction has characters immediately notice that binghe or qinghua are lying liars who lie. like "he smiled but it didnt meet his eyes etc" and im just guys. it's VERY established that the pair of them are VERY GOOD lying liars who lie. binghe's main character trait is that he can lie so convincingly that even shen yuan isn't always sure when he's sincere or not. and qinghua was literally a double agent for HOW LONG without getting caught? dude HAS to have a convincing fake smile. so all im saying is that people wouldnt immediately be able to see through that)

so like, yeah, all the bad luck and shit started happening when these two chuckle-fucks opened up a cafe in the area so like, logically it has to be SOMETHING to do with them but binghe and qinghua are literally the two most harmless and charming lil dudes ever? qinghua looks like a harmless pathetic hamster and binghe will thank you tearfully if you like his lemon squares and these two are literally the most wholesome and sweet business owners in the area so clearly they're not behind it

like i just need people to losing their minds a little bit because bingplane have gaslighted them all into submission like the evil cut-throat two-faced fuckers they are.

i honestly cant decide whats better tho. the pair of them having a drink after work together where the vibes are "lmfao we're so evil lets bask in our victory" glow OR the two of them actually only have a faint idea that the other is ALSO an asshole x'D

oki i think i lean toward the latter bc i think thats funnier.

like binghe doesnt pay much attention to airplane bc, as stated, airplane is a pathetic lil whining worm and he legitimately could not care if the twerp lived or died so long as the taxes are filed on time. but tbh, even then, he's competent enough that he doesnt /need/ qinghua around. it's just kinda convenient to keep him around. so mainly he's just apathetic and ambivalent to qinghua, but like, he does sorta notice because they spend so much time together that theres a distinctly... ratty quality to the dude. like, qinghua disappears for an hour and no less than five minutes after his return theres a roach infestation found in their closest competition? sus as fuck. and theres a little bit of a game recognizing game type of energy, but bc binghe could not be paid to care about qinghua's existence, he doesnt really look into it

similarly, qinghua is like 80% sure that pathetic crybaby of a chef is just that, but also, look, he's not dumb and the last three customers who insulted his lemon squares came back to the cafe in casts and binghe is a little too quick to turn off the customer service charm sometimes. and qinghua has basically decided "i actually really dont wanna know". ignorance is bliss, whatever level of psycho his coworker is, he honestly does not care so long as the crazy fuck continues to bake like a god. he absolutely 100% does not get paid enough to know whether his coworker is a serial killer and he also has the self preservation to understand that the less he knows, the better

so they both kinda have vague hints that the other is a two-faced motherfucker, but it's something that they figured out over time. there was no immediate meeting and "oh i know what you are" it was like "oki we've been working together for a year and yeah, im starting to think this guy isnt what he seems". slowburn them into realizing that they have similar personalities, if you will

now as tempting as it is to taking this au in a bingplane direction bc im ngl, i am multishipping trash, i am much more interested in slowburning this as a friendship. or like, grudging companionship LOL because also that gives the opportunity for:

"i just had to ask the worst person i know for love advice" shenanigans

followed by "the worst person i know gives good love advice, fuck" shenanigans

maybe they're having a drink and it's friendly and binghe kinda jsut wants to go home because again, he does not give a fuck about the fact that qinghua is alive, and qinghua also sorta wants to go home but they've both sorta committed to the "we're friendly coworkers" bit so here they are at a bar and trying to map out the Soonest Possible Good Time To Leave when binghe unthinkingly asks

"how do you get someones attention?" because he kinda ran out of pointless weather-related topics and it was on his mind and he really didnt expect qinghua to give him a half decent answer but then qinghua DOES and also knows who binghe's crush is and also is tactfully NOT saying that he knows who binghe's crush is with the casual "look, as an example, that specific person might like~" type of thing

havent decided on a binghe ship tbh lol. like bingyuan is obvious but also would be fun to do some bingliu or bingmo instead lmao maybe bingning? look im a happy multishipper and binghe is shippable with Many Characters. tho for the purposes of this freeform au thoughtless drabbling, the binghe ship doesnt actually matter so i'll keep it vague lol

the point is that qinghua gives really good fucking advice and binghe is just Not Ready for that because he's absolutely seen what a Nightmare scene it is when qinghua tries to flirt

which is somehow how the two segue into a relationship where they talk about flirting and love interests and that sort of shit in the most "we are two stereotypical gossiping middle school girls on the planet who are giggling and playing truth or dare about our crushes" type of way lmfao

because yeah, they're both cut-throat two-faced assholes, but they're also both utterly Weak in love

might be fun if they cycle through a few different failed crushes, but still kinda have fun at each others houses in like pillow forts with martinis that binghe made and gushing about "omg he was like so cute, did you see the way that he brushed me off? ahh imma die, so hot" because also they realize that they both share a Type. they are both absolutely into the Cold Beauty type, altho luckily they haven't crushed on the same person at the same time Yet, but like, it's only a matter of time okay and they know it and they are fully planning to Destroy the other when the time comes bc it's not bros before hoes for them, ohno, it's "to get that hoe, i will bury my bro in concrete" between them and they both lowkey know it LMFAO

and look, mobei jun did not ask to be the culmination of that particular building battle between them. he just came for coffee okay. what the fuck is happening. why is this is life now.

because okay when the pair of them were crushing on individuals who popped into the cafe or people they met outside, there wasnt any sense of urgency to it because they'd just shoot their shot and usually it wouldnt work out, well, it worked out for binghe whenever he went after chicks but he quickly figured out that he was like Cursed with "women simp after me" virus and while it can be flattering to have a simp, it really isnt fun to DATE a simp, ya know? so those relationships usually ended badly. qinghua just has no game with men or women lol

but see, when they realize that they're BOTH after the same guy, then theres the realization that if they fail, theres actually the chance the other one will Succeed and that would be Bad because then they'd have to see the object of their affections dating a coworker and NOPE NO CANT DO IT, WOULD MURDER HIM, I NEED TO GET THAT MAN JUST TO SPARE MY COWORKER FROM BEING MURDERED. THIS IS REALLY ALTRUISTIC OF ME ACTUALLY

so now they're just A LOT more persistent than they've ever been before lmfao they are pulling all the stops, they are using every weakness, they are ready to fucking WRECK the competition

maybe i should aim for a bingyuanmoshang ot4 endgame lmfao. mobei jun and shen yuan are just a happily married poly couple and shen yuan is having the time of his life laughing his ass off every time his husband comes home from the coffee shop like "i dont know whats going on but im scared and weirdly horny" and when bingplane realize that the solution is that mobei jun has two hands (and a very attractive husband), things calm down lmfao

or alternate route for this path, instead of them both thirsting after mobei jun, shang qinghua just has the most pathetic crush in the world, so luo binghe decides to have mercy on his coworker and be a wingman. only he Very Accidentally catches mobei jun's attention instead and now airplane is actually kinda lowkey ready to kill him bc he thinks that binghe snaked him but for once binghe is innocent! he didnt mean to do it! and it's moshang endgame when mobei jun gets over his crush on binghe and notices the angry hamster desperate for his attention

OR OR OR WAIT I THINK I THOUGHT OF THE VERSION I LIKE BEST

oki instead of bingplane actively seeking out love at every corner, what if they're just not. like they do bond over crushes and stuff but actually they're kinda too busy with the cafe and life and hobbies to really think about romance more than a "omg he was so cute~" kind of way. so neither of them notice when they have customers who are just Actively trying to ask them out

like mobei jun has been desperately trying to flirt with the oblivious barista for MONTHS now and he's actually dying because qinghua will just say shit like "wow you're literally the most handsome guy ive ever seen" but then brush him off when mobei jun tries to ask him out bc qinghua just assumes he isnt serious and he's busy with the expresso machine and he has no idea that this man is just PINING behind him while he sighs pathetically to binghe later abt "man it's fun having crushes but dont you just wish someone could like you instead?" and binghe just like "look im actually desirable, cannot relate"

thinking bingliu route for this version bc i feel like liu qingge is just a lot more fitting for Uselessly Pining After The Barista than shen yuan is lol. also his attempts at flirting are basically just picking fights with binghe and he always loses and binghe has absolutely no idea how far gone qingge is for him LMFAO

also now that i think about it, mobei jun should be kinda bad at flirting as well LOL so shang qinghua is like 90% sure that mobei jun sorta wants to kill him

bingplane having their weekly gossip sesh in a pillowfort like "man oki idk why they keep coming to the cafe if they hate us so much... but also man they make for good eye candy, if they werent such assholes, i could see having a crush" and then maybe a terrible game of truth or dare results in both of them daring each other to flirt with the Mean Eyecandy Man and now moliu are about to get Wrecked LMFAO

look basically i think that this sort of au could go in multiple very delicious directions but at the base, i just want evil comrades bingplane running a cafe together with all of the gap moe in the world LMFAO

[kieran-hayward-art]

Reanimate-mas 2024 Day 1: Hot Cocoa

OKAY I KNOW I'M THREE DAYS LATE POSTING THIS TnT ... Anyway, this is how I think they'd each make hot chocolate for themselves!! Some extra details that were too much to write on the page: Herbert uses soy milk bc he's lactose intolerant and his mug used to belong to Gruber. The movie novel says he's Canadian so I took that as an excuse to make him use the same products that I have in my own cupboard and only later realized that Crosby's molasses is specifically distributed in Atlantic Canada so uhh I guess he's from Nova Scotia now (I also have no clue when Tims hot chocolate mix was first sold or if it looked like that in 1985 but who gaf). Dan is a working class New Englander in my mind so I imagine he would just use the cheapest off-the-shelf mass market products without ever thinking about it at all, and also spike his hot chocolate with coffee bc he's a med student with adhd. You cannot tell me he doesn't live on caffeine. The basic ass mug he's using was left in the Darkmore cabinets by the previous residents so he never bothered buying new ones. Meg tends toward nicer ingredients and never grew up eating anything with "instant"/"pre-cooked"/"ready-made" etc. on the label so she mostly makes things from scratch, i.e., literally melts chocolate into milk in a pan to make hot cocoa. Her mug is part of a dishware set she received as a gift upon graduating from high school. Well, this took way longer to finish than I thought it would (turns out tiny product labels are a pain in the ass to paint) but I'm really pleased with it :] Detail photos are below the cut!

[bruhseidon]

Y/N, working at the drive-thru: Welcome to Carl’s Jr., what may I get for you?

Dick: Yurrrr!

Y/N, sighing: Oh, my gosh… 12.78.

Dick: Wait, what happened?

Y/N: 12.78.

Dick: I-I haven’t even ordered yet, darling.

Y/N: Twelve. Seventy. Eight. Pull to the window!

Dick: Wha—uh… let-let me get a, uh, a double western bacon cheese—

Y/N: Yes, yes, YES… THE DOUBLE WESTERN BACON CHEESEBURGER! Extra barbecue sauce with three tenders, two ranch, and two barbecue sauces! Why are you playing, Richard John Grayson!?

Dick: Damn, baby. How did you know it was me?

Y/N: You’re the only loser that comes to my drive thru saying, “YURRRRR!”, at 2:55pm! And I can smell that fuckboy Sauvage cologne!

Dick, holding in his laugh: You good, baby? You need a raise, but, yeah, let me get that, uh… [thinking for a bit] and a chocolate shake. Yeah, let-let me get a chocolate shake. You know I want a chocolate shake since you know everything? Ye-yeah, le-le-let me… add-add a chocolate shake—

Y/N: DICK, IF YOU DON’T BRING YOUR FUCKING ASS TO THIS WINDOW AND STOP PLAYING WITH ME! I JUST CLOCKED IN!… AND YOU’RE LACTOSE INTOLERANT! YOU DON’T DRINK MILK! FUCKING LOSER! 12.78, PULL UP TO THIS WINDOW!

Dick, full-on laughing: Aye, you good?

Y/N: DAMN!

[randomingoftherandomness]

OP come here and let me kiss your cheeks. You are family to me now. I am laying a plate out for you on my table when I eat.

;A;

Bless you for this post.

How to be a more interesting character than the Main Hero (Pt.3)

Shangjue and his didi (pt.2/2)

Yuanzhi wants to save Shangjue from any kind of pain so badly, and not only because he feels guilt for brother's loss, but also because he is able to see brother's true personality: Shangjue is an invisible root of Gong tree.

When an assassin and didi have a conversation in the final part of the drama, she says that there are people, in front of whom Shangjue could be vulnerable, but Yanzhi smirks and says that the Martial World won`t allow it. And it happens to be true: he knows that Shangjue’s fiancée is an assassin and he knows that, no matter how much Shangjue is into her, she would not hesitate to kill him if she had a chance, so Shangjue`s soft spot for something (such as a woman he likes) would be his doom. But he needs to look invincible, because the whole clan counts on him and relies on him.

Because Shangjue is a root of Gong clan, everyone sees only thriving and green branches and beautiful flowers (which are wealth, power and secure of Gong clan), but no one sees that it wouldn`t be possible without a root, strong yet hidden under the soil (aka one hardworking man).

I often find the fate of Shangjue's type of heroes very unfair: a person unnoted takes care of everyone and is rewarded at the end only with sufferings and death. But this story is different, because Shangjue has got his didi, who doesn't care about world but eagerly takes care of him while he takes care of anything else. This scene was the second one during the drama that upset me a lot. I spoiled myself some shots of Yuanzhi crying over brother's body and I was sure he would die because he isn't fluffy and spotless enough to stay alive in Chinese drama. Fortunately, he didn't:

It works visa versa, too:

Yuanzhi is, I suppose, coded as someone like Asperger: he is kinda genius, he preferred insects and plants to people as he was a child, he couldn`t understand why people cry and felt uncomfortable with someone`s touching (he slipped out of Shangjue’s grip when Shangjue took his hand). And Shangjue did a great job socializing him.

Being an adolescent, Shangjue hadn`t problems with feeling expression. Things Shangjue taught his didi in a flashback are the opposite to those the Main Hero’s mum taught MH and to those Shangjue believes now. Shangjue told Yuanzhi that a man should cry because in that case someone would understand one's woe and this sympathizing could help to recuperate one's soul, but now he never cries in front of someone. However, Yuanzhi learned his lesson well and isn`t embarrassed to express his feelings freely.

I found this scene very weird (if not taking into account that the flower is obviously a red herring): the Main Hero and Shangjue both fancy girls, while didi fancies a magic flower. But later, as I finished the drama, I understood: didi fancies Shangjue the most. The unique and almost extinct flower isn`t some treasure for him, it matters only that this flower can save Shangjue`s life and increase his inner powers. The previous one was taken away from Shangjue, and Shangjue allowed it to happen, because his needs didn`t matter to him compared to prosperity of his clan. (Later, as we know, it was spent in vain by a villain, which made me feel terribly sorry for Shangjue). But his didi values him enough to try to take care of him once more (and for this time he has planted more than one, in order something would end up in Shangjue’s hands even if clansmen would need this flower, too. How smart of his!). And I like that his love is not in vain – Shangjue loves him, too, and believes him in any situation, and that warms my heart. I love their relationship a lot.

And the most vivid feeling that he freely demonstrates is a jealousy towards Shangjue’s fiancée (btw, I like, that Shangjue understands it and pardons his tantrums):

"Go ahead, tell me what's on your mind." *opens his mouth to start talking* "Well, rather don`t. I can see it on your face." *smiles*

So, in the part 4 I will talk about Shangjue and her.

[softspiderling]

risk it all | b.r.b

summary: the gym fic™️

pairing: bradley "rooster" bradshaw x reader

warnings: breaking gym etiquette, thirsty reader

word count: 3,4k

author's note: coming back with a bang i guess🤪thanks to jordan, may and sol for the continuous support ily guys.

He was staring.

You thought it was a fluke at first, that he was looking at someone that was standing behind you, but there wasn’t anyone. 

You had checked. 

Several times. 

The moment you realized that he was looking at you, you started sweating profusely. And it wasn’t because of the exercise, even though it was indeed kicking your ass. You weren’t a gym junkie by all means, and you didn’t even know if you were doing the exercise correctly. 

About your second rep in, you had enough and lifted your head to meet his gaze head on. His eyebrows shot up in surprise and he had the decency to flush when he turned his eyes away. Letting out a grunt of annoyance, you finished your last rep, picking up your water bottle and taking an angry swig from it. You glared daggers at the man, who had his back turned to you by now and headed to the changing rooms, grabbing your stuff.

“What’s got you all hot and bothered?” Natasha asked when you came home, kicking the door shut behind you. 

“There was an asshole at the gym who was staring at me.”

Natasha pulled a face, twisting her hair into a bun, the heat of the stove getting to her. 

“You know I keep telling you to come to my gym instead.”

“UGH! I wish I could, but I literally just made a year-long contract with my gym like two months ago,” you groaned, dropping down on the couch like a sack of potatoes. “Couldn’t you have told me about your gym before I made my contract?”

Natasha peaked her head out of the kitchen to laugh at you and you couldn’t even be bothered to glare at her. It was weird how comfortable you were around each other, even though you’ve barely known each other for a month. You had posted an ad online that you were looking for a roommate and after countless interviews with people that were okay-ish, but not really your vibe, you met Natasha at a coffee shop and after bonding over your lactose-intolerance, you offhandedly mentioned you were searching for a roommate.

Yeah.

Admittedly a very weird thing to bond over, but now you always had a carton of oat milk and a carton of coconut milk in your fridge and a very cool roommate. 

“Well, then you gotta power through it. I’m sure you won’t see him again, and if you do, don’t hesitate to confront him, babe,” Natasha said, ever the strong woman. “Now go shower, you stink. Dinner is ready soon.”

She disappeared back into the kitchen and you forced yourself up, dragging a hand over your face, your hair sticking to your sweaty forehead. You always liked to think that you were as strong as she was, but all your bravado usually left you as soon as you opened your mouth.

You just hoped you wouldn’t see him again, so you didn’t have to confront him at all.

The next time you were at the gym, it was about two weeks later and you had completely forgotten about the guy. Over the past week, it had gotten unbearably hot and you couldn’t find the strength to go to the gym to sweat even more so you gave yourself a time off until it cooled down again. It wasn’t exactly chilly, but at least it wasn’t that humid in the gym. The gym wasn’t packed as it usually was around this time, so it didn’t take you long to get through your workout. When you sat down on one of your last machines, you tensed slightly when you saw him right across from you, doing weighted pull-ups. 

To your annoyance, you realized that he was hot. 

Like, really hot. 

The shirt he was wearing was thin and white, miles of defined muscle just underneath,  His arms were huge, biceps straining as he pulled himself up and then lowered himself again. With a grunt he dropped down from the bars and you quickly averted your gaze, getting busy with your own weights. When you were all done, you straightened up your back and started the exercise, seeing how he was standing basically straight across from you, slightly to the left. 

Opting to just stare into the mirror on the other side of the wall, you could still see him looking at you out of the corner of your eyes. You couldn’t help it, but for a split second, you glanced over to him. Unlike the last time, he actually held your gaze and until you turned away, your cheeks turning red. 

God, what a fucking dick. 

You dropped the weights with a loud thunk, reaching for your phone.

roomie one: that fucking douchebag is here again

roomie two: Gym starer?

roomie one: … yes

roomie two: Get him!

roomie one: i’m not going to confront him in the middle of the gym

roomie two: Well, he’d deserve it.

The timer on the chest press indicated that your resting time was over, so you put your phone away. getting back to your workout. While you had been texting Natasha, gym starer had gotten back on the bar, his back to you. Small beads of sweat started to form on the nape of his neck, running down the back of the straining shirt that stretched across his shoulders every time he flexed his arms to pull himself up. 

After a while, you realized that you had done way more reps than you were supposed to, your muscles aching in protest. Cursing, you dropped the weights, gently this time, and wiped your face with your towel. Lifting your head, you could see that he was looking at you again and since you didn’t want to be that creepy person who stared at someone else in the gym, like he kept doing, you decided it was enough for the day and went to the locker rooms. Luckily, no one was in there, so you leaned your head against the cold metal of the lockers, letting out a frustrated scream. 

“Cut your workout short?” 

Wordlessly, you held your hand up, shutting the front door behind you, too annoyed with yourself to talk, and Natasha raised an eyebrow at you, putting her book away. Dropping your gym bag on the floor, you took a seat at the dining table and laid your head down. 

“He’s hot,” you muttered against the wooden surface. 

“I didn’t understand a thing.”

With a long sigh, you lifted your head, looking at Natasha with a pout. “Gym starer. He’s hot.”

“Ah, so now he’s not the creepy gym starer anymore,” Natasha snorted, putting her feet on the coffee table and you glared at her. Because she was right. Screw double-standards.

“God, you should’ve seen him,” you moaned, covering your face with your hands. “His arms are huge. And his shirt was so thin, I could basically see through the fabric and ugh-”

Natasha pulled a face. “Gross.”

“Shut up. Not everyone can like women,” you huffed, standing up. “I need to take a shower. 

“Yeah you do, you’re dripping all over the floor.”

“Jesus, Tash,” you exclaimed and Natasha only cackled at you as you headed to the bathroom to grab a shower, hoping to wash this dirty feeling away. While you stood under the stream of the water, you let out a sigh. You could not develop a crush on gym starer. That would be against your principles and it would be just, really fucking inconvenient. 

Unfortunately you weren’t one of those girls who got cute gym sets and looked like they just walked out of a Lululemon ad. Instead, you wore the most basic black running tights with a random sports bra and your hair ALWAYS stuck to your sweaty forehead, no matter how you wore it. And it was fine with you, because you weren’t going to the gym to pick up guys, you went there to stay fit and challenge yourself.

But a gym crush? No thanks. 

Toweling your wet hair, you exited the bathroom, leaving the door open so the warm air could escape. You plopped down on the couch next to Natasha and crossed her arms, looking at you in amusement.

“Have you ever thought about why he’s staring at you?”

“He’s probably laughing at me because I’m doing the exercise all wrong. Or because I sweat so much.”

“Or he’s into you?”

“And that’s why he’s staring at me?” you scoffed, draping the towel around your shoulders, tugging it from both ends. “He’s probably just like one of those weird gym rat bros who judges everyone who doesn’t go to the gym every day. I mean, he’s fucking ripped, Tash.”

“I know, you already said that!” Natasha groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose. “I’m heading out for drinks with my squadron soon. Do you want to come along? Maybe you can find someone hot who will take your mind off of gym starer.”

“I doubt it. Maybe next time, Tash. Thanks for the invitation, though.”

You exhaled as you pushed through the last reps of your first set, your legs trembling. It took you a few days until you dared to go back to the gym. You were terrified you’d get caught staring at gym starer (oh the irony in that phrase), but when you were certain that you’d forgotten what he had looked like, you packed your bag and went to the gym. 

Relaxing your legs, you lifted them out of the machine when, out of the corner of your eye, you saw someone standing next to you. Pausing, you glanced at him, just to see gym starer looking at you. His mouth was moving, but the music from your headphones was too loud. Holding up your finger, he pressed his lips together until you tugged the headphones out of your ears.

“Sorry, what were you saying?”

“Um…” Gym starer paused, his cheeks red. “I- uh… I wanted to know how much longer you’re gonna take on the leg press.”

“Oh. Uh, two more sets?”

“... Okay,” he said, pausing like he wanted to add something, but then quickly turned on his heel, walking away.

Furrowing your brows, you put your headphones back into your ears. Weird. As you shifted your weight in the seat, you looked to the right, doing a double take when you saw the other leg-press, unoccupied. 

“What the fuck,” you muttered to yourself, leaning your hands on your legs. When you left the gym twenty minutes later, gym starer was nowhere to be seen. 

A few days later, you were lounging on the couch, catching up with some of your favorite tv shows. You needed a break from the gym, at least until you’d get your thoughts sorted. You didn’t know how he did it, but whenever you walked into the gym he was there, even though your gym routine was pretty irregular. Just as the credits of the latest Suits episode started rolling, Natasha suddenly barged into the apartment, making you jump.

“Jesus, what the hell?”

“I’m heading to the bar with my squadron, do you want to come with me?”

You sighed, burrowing deeper into the couch. “I don’t know… I’m so comfy. And I don’t even know anyone there.”

Natasha gave you a look, leaning her hands into her hips, which could only mean that you were about to get a lecture from her. You gulped. 

“You don’t know anyone because you always turn me down whenever I ask you to come out, seriously! I am not accepting a no.”

“Fine, okay,” you huffed with wide eyes, raising your hands in defense. “Just let me get changed, I guess.” With a nod, Natasha disappeared into the bathroom while you headed to your bedroom to get changed, reluctantly. While you were miffed that your plans of staying in had been thrown over, you respected Natasha enough to admit that she was right. Half an hour later, a cab dropped you off at the beach, in front of a small bar aptly called the Hard Deck. 

“Hey, is this like, a Navy bar?” you asked Natasha with a frown as you walked through the door. 

“Yeah. I did tell you that we were getting drinks with my squadron.”

Letting your eyes roam when you got inside, you noticed that almost everyone was dressed in uniform, one way or another, but luckily, there were some people dressed in civvies, so you wouldn’t stick out like a sore thumb. You stopped mid-walk, when you saw him, narrowing your eyes.

Gym starer. Because of course he’d be here. 

God was just pulling on all the strings in your life and laughing at you like you were his personal entertainment. It took gym starer a few seconds to spot you, but when he did, he basically spat out his beer all over the counter. 

“Jeez Bradshaw, what’s gotten into you?”

Natasha laughing, having rounded the bar, standing behind gym starer and clapping him on the back and while you gaped at her.

“You know him?”

Gym starer - Bradshaw, or whatever - was coughing, his cheeks flaming red as Natasha raised an eyebrow at you. 

“He flies with me. Bradley Bradshaw- Rooster’s in my squadron.”

“He’s gym starer.”

“I’m what?” 

“Ew,” Natasha only said, looking Bradley up and down, clearly unhappy with him. “Do you not know gym etiquette?”

“I wasn’t staring!” Bradley protested. “I mean, maybe I was, but I didn’t mean to. I swear.”

You sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose. “I need a drink,” you muttered, moving over to the bar to flag down the bartender. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Natasha berating Bradley and him scowling at her, a bit miffed, before she rolled her eyes at him. 

“Hey, what can I get you?” 

Turning your eyes away, you looked at the smiling bartender. 

“Gin and tonic?” 

The bartender gave a brief nod, and went on to mix your drink, handing it to you after you slapped a ten dollar bill on the counter. You sipped your drink through the small black straw, relaxing slightly as the liquid burned in your throat. Your relaxation was cut short however, when you realized Bradley was walking towards you, rubbing the back of his neck bashfully. Taking another long sip, hoping the liquid courage would help you out of this incredibly awkward situation, you raised your chin to look at him. 

“I, uh. Was made aware that I might’ve come across as creepy,” Bradley said, his cheeks still pink. 

“You think?”

Bradley winced. “I’m really sorry. I don’t like to bother people during their workout, but I just didn’t know how I was supposed to start talking to you. And when I finally got the courage to approach you, you kind of shut me down.”

You narrowed your eyes in confusion, trying to think back when he came up to talk to you in the gym. 

“Wait… You mean when you asked me how many sets I had left?”

You didn’t think it was possible, but Bradley flushed an even deeper pink as he nodded. 

“Yeah… I actually kind of asked you out, but you didn’t hear me, so I just felt weird and made up a lame excuse.”

“Wait, what?”

Bradley chuckled nervously, and you only stared at him in disbelief. So Natasha was right. Now it was your turn to blush

“I didn’t realize,” you explained and Bradley waved his hands around, giving you an embarrassed smile.

“Don’t worry about it, seriously. I’m sorry, again. I understand that you’re not interested, I am not here to pester you or anything, I just wanted to apologize.” Bradley turned to leave, but you stopped him, grabbing his arm.

“I didn’t say I wasn’t interested!” You protested, making Bradley turn back to you, the corner of his mouth ticking up in a grin. 

“Yeah?”

You let go of his arm, rolling your eyes a bit. It was comical how quickly his facial expressions could change.

“Why don’t we start over?” Bradley asked, offering his hand. “I’m Bradley Bradshaw, nice to meet you.”

*

Zoe straightened her back after she adjusted her weights, letting her gaze wander through the gym. It wasn’t extremely busy and there were just a few people working out. She didn’t usually like coming to the gym after work, because she usually couldn’t get herself to leave her apartment after she got home. Today however, work was so crazy that Zoe had to release her stress somewhere, so gym it was. Zoe’s eyes stopped on the brunet guy when doing a double take when she noticed that his gaze was set on you and she could literally feel her eye twitch. 

She didn’t really know you, but she’s seen you around the gym sometimes when you were working out, always by yourself. The guy didn’t really seem too focused on his workout as he kept his eyes steady on you and Zoe bristled. Sometimes she really hated men.

Zoe tried to channel all her anger in her workout, while still keeping an eye on you just in case. Throughout her workout, she wasn’t able to keep her eyes on you for the whole time, but when she got into the changing rooms and saw you packing your bag, she sighed in relief. 

Shooting you a small smile, Zoe grabbed her bag and her jacket and headed outside, stopping in the doorway when she saw him waiting by the door. He looked up from his phone, looking at her puzzled when she only glared at him and turned on her heel to head back inside, the door falling shut in its hinges. She walked towards you, waiting until you looked up before she spoke.

“Hey, I’m Zoe,” she said and you introduced yourself as well, if a bit bewildered. 

“I’m sorry, I know we don’t know each other at all, but there’s this weird guy hanging around outside the changing rooms. We could walk to the parking lot together.”

“What?” you asked, confused and Zoe took a deep breath, laughing nervously.

“Um, there was this guy who kept staring at you while you worked out? I don’t know if you noticed, but he was pretty focused on you. He’s standing right outside the changing rooms like a creep.”

You blinked at her before your facial expression completely changed, as you burst out in laughter. Now Zoe was very confused. 

“Oh, please this is too funny. It’s really sweet of you, but I’m okay, really. He’s my boyfriend,” you explained and Zoe flushed. 

“Oh god, I’m so sorry!”

“Don’t worry about it,” you said with a laugh. “He’s a bit dense sometimes. Come on, I’ll introduce you.”

You swung your bag over your shoulder and Zoe had no choice but to follow you, even though she willed the ground to open up and swallow her whole. When you opened the door, your boyfriend slipped his phone into his pocket, surprised to see Zoe following you closely. 

“Hey, everything okay?” he asked as you only snickered, shaking your head at him. 

“Babe, this is Zoe. Zoe, this is my boyfriend, Bradley,” you introduced them, and Zoe could only plaster on a smile, while Bradley shook her hand, looking at you a bit lost. “Zoe thought you were creepy because you were staring at me the whole time like a creeper.”

“Oh,” Bradley muttered dumbly, his cheeks tinging pink. “Sorry, bad habit of mine. But thank you for looking out for my girl,” he told Zoe and she laughed nervously. 

“Sure. We girls gotta look out for each other, right?”

“‘course. Hey, when are you coming here next?” You asked and Zoe shrugged with her shoulders. 

“I’m not sure yet.”

You reached for your phone, holding it out to her. “We could go together, if you want? I’ll leave Bradley at home if we do, I promise.”

Bradley only groaned, turning his face away and your face was split open in a big grin, so Zoe only smiled as she punched her number into your phone, before handing it back to you. 

“Great, I’ll text you, okay,” you promised, putting your phone away. “It was really nice meeting you Zoe.”

“It was nice meeting you too, bye.”

Bradley only waved his hand in wordless goodbye as you left, his arm wrapping around your waist. As you walked out, Zoe could hear the beginnings of your conversation. 

“-you. It’s creepy and clearly, I’m not the only one who thinks that!”

“I’m sorry! You know I want to focus on my workout, but you keep distracting me, especially when you wear those leggings…”

x

a/n: i like to think that while bradley does have game, he can be quite dense sometimes hehe. i hope you liked it!

taglist: @littlebadariell // @labellapeaky // @solacestyles // @shaded-echoes // @madielake //  @diorrfairy // @luckyladycreator2 // @ssaic-jareau // @xoxabs88xox // @averyhotchner   // @avada-kedavra-bitch-187  // @tiredqueen73 // @alexxavicry // @classyunknownlover

[roses-r-rosie3]

Annoying Customer

Wally West x M!Reader

Warnings: Crack, swearing, platonic relationship (but it could be romantic if you want🤷‍♂️)

Summary: The same guy always pulls up to the reader’s work place, order’s the same thing, and says the same thing each time he pulls, to the point where the reader immediately knows who it’s is, and his name was Wally West

A/n: This is also based off of something I found off of TikTok😭

F/f/n: Fast Food Name

Summary: “YES. YES. YES. A DOUBLE WESTERN BACON CHEESEBURGER WITH EXTRA BBQ SAUCE WITH THREE TENDERS, TWO RANCH, AND TWO BBQ SAUCES, WHY ARE YOU PLAYING WITH ME WALLACE RUDOLPH WEST”

✁ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“Welcome to f/f/n how may I help you” you asked.

“YERRR” the customer yelled out.

You immediately knew who this was, Wally fucking West. He always came to the same place, same time, said the same thing, and ordered the same thing every single day.

“Oh my gosh..” you sighed.

“It’s gonna be 12.78” you stated.

“Wait what happened” Wally said confusingly.

“12.78” you replied.

“I didn’t even order yet” Wally said.

“12.78 pull. To. The. Window” you said, making sure to punctuate out each and every word.

“Well- um! Lemme get uh- a double western bacon chee-”

“YES. YES. YES. A DOUBLE WESTERN BACON CHEESEBURGER WITH EXTRA BBQ SAUCE WITH THREE TENDERS, TWO RANCH, AND TWO BBQ SAUCES, WHY ARE YOU PLAYING WITH ME WALLACE RUDOLPH WEST” you screamed.

“Well damn baby, how did you know it was me?” Wally asked.

“YOU’RE THE ONLY CUSTOMER IN MY DRIVE THRU SAYING “YERR” AT 2:55PM AND I CAN SMELL YOUR CHEAP ASS COLOGNE” you shouted.

Wally started cracking up a bit, but then he got a bright idea.

“I’m sorry, you need a raise, but yeah, let me get that and uh… and a chocolate shake! Yeah! Let me get a chocolate shake! Did you know I wanted a chocolate shake since you know everything? And add a-”

“WALLACE IF YOU DON’T PULL YOUR ASS AND STOP PLAYING WITH ME! I JUST CLOCKED IN! AND YOU’RE LACTOSE INTOLERANT! YOU DON’T DRINK MILK YOU DUMB ASS! FUCK! 12.78 PULL. UP. TO. THE. WINDOW” you yelled.

Bonus:

Wally had secretly recorded the whole thing and showed Dick while laughing his ass off.

“Was that really necessary Wally? That guy seems stressed out, and how does he know that you’re lactose intolerant?” Dick asked.

“Don’t worry about that! Just watch the video! It gets better!” Wally laughed.

[huboi]

💐🦋SHORTY💐🦋

— genshin men with a short s/o headcanons ft. alhaithem, kaveh, tighnari, cyno, wanderer (lemme know if you guys want a 2nd part)

— this is an old draft that I decided to finish off and just get out of the way, so apologies if it’s badly written/short

SCRIBE ALHAITHEM

bro is tall, he’s also extremely muscular which means a majority of people are shorter than him

doesn’t comment much about your height cause he doesn’t feel the need to do so

will sometimes place his head onto your own head and just lay there

doesn’t mind when you rest your head on his phat titties chest

KAVEH THE ARTITECTURE

teases tf outta you for your small stature

always asks you if you’ve never had milk or dairy (yes, even if you are lactose intolerant he’ll still ask u)

always compares your heights and your hand sizes

“look at those tiny hands, they look so cute”, “my hands are way bigger than yours, they practically engulf them”

will unabashedly use you as a rest, lays his arm on your shoulder and doesn’t move it no matter what

TIGHNARI THE FOREST RANGER

he’s quite short himself, so if you’re shorter than him your are so damn small (says my 4’10 ass)

isn’t quite used to people being shorter than him

he’s glad that when he hugs you that it’s quite easy

same with kisses, you don’t have to lean down, same for him

CYNO THE MAHAMATRA

he isn’t the tallest either, so when you guys got together he was lowkey kinda happy you are shorter than him

cause he is kinda insecure about being short, but he doesn’t like admitting it

won’t tease you for your height, the same has happened to him and he knows how belittling it feels

WANDERER AKA HAT GUY

is a short king. will tease you 24/7 for your height

calls you his short goober, don’t ask. don’t even think of asking him to change your nickname, cause he won’t

gives him an ego boost low key, but be sure to give him a small smack in the back of the head whenever he gets too high on his horse

if anyone else makes fun of your height, he’s angy, only he gets to call you short😡