#lactose intolerant but eats cheese n ice cream

[wolftozier]

richie tozier having a million adult onset allergies is very funny idea but I don't think they're. "adult" onset. my man has been eating spicy bananas for forty years and saw nothing wrong with this

[strxwberrylemonxde]

joker joker 😣🙏 please pleaseee

a/n: SKDNJS I'M FINALLY FREE TO ANSWER MY ASKS 😭 allow me to use this ask to insert some random headcanons of our favorite pookie bear while I work on the other joker fics I got for you 🤩 these are so bad im so sorry

There is something about the Joker that gives "DARRRRRLLINNGGGGG GUESS WHO JUST ESCAPED THE PSYCCHHHH WARDDD"

He would say this to Batman after escaping Arkham for the millionth time

Kicks feet and giggles 

Someone please sedate me

I know damn well they had to put a muzzle on this man in Arkham because he bit someone for talking bad about Batman 

It was Killer Croc 💀

I think this man loves sprinkles for some reason -- specifically rainbow sprinkles 

Like he needs it on his ice cream or else he won't eat it

Like he would rob a store at gunpoint for rainbow sprinkles

 And then go, “Oh nooo, I hope a big, bad, Bat doesn’t come and stop me” type shit 😭

Speaking of ice cream, I wholeheartedly believe Joker is lactose intolerant

Does he care?

Not in the slightest

He is guzzling milk, cheese, and ice cream at all times

He went to extensive lengths to smuggle in a picture of Batman into his cell in Arkham, but don’t ask him how he did it 

You don't wanna know

He has a tattoo on his lower back a tramp stamp of the bat symbol

[stars-n-spice]

Bad Batch Food Headcanons:

Was having the meal of champions (soju, galbi, and buldak) and it got me thinking,,

So have this collection of random food headcanons:

Crosshair insists he can handle spicy food but he cannot. He's eating hot cheetos and he's fucking crying

Wrecker had to build up a tolerance for spice - he fucking LOVES spicy food ("It's like an explosion in my mouth!!") but couldn't handle it at first. Now he can handle buldak with half of the spice packet!

Hunter and Tech can handle their spice decently but Echo isn't too fond of spicy foods.

Like Wrecker, Omega built up a tolerance to spice, but also like Crosshair she's sensitive to it and will insist that she can handle her spice

Echo is a picky eater. That's like canon. He doesn't care that he's a grown man, he's ordering mac-n-cheese at the fancy restaurant. Deal with it.

Tech is another picky eater but he thrives off instant stuff like ramen or snacks like chips. Man can plow through a whole Costco-sized bag of tortilla chips in one sitting without realizing it.

Hunter has a stomach of steel, he'll eat anything and everything. It's only a matter of REMEMBERING to fucking eat. He'll stand up, nearly faint, then go, "What the hell?" and it's because he hasn't eaten since fucking yesterday.

No Crosshair, an ice coffee is NOT a suitable breakfast. How many times do we have to tell you? And aren't you fucking lactose intolerant???

Oh they love their dinosaur chicken nuggets though - especially Omega and Wrecker. They'll dunk them in ketchup and create a whole murder crime scene.

Omega LOVES soup. Any and all kinds! I think she'd really enjoy udon or 냉면 the most though. The slurp-ier the better!

I feel like Tech is a curry enjoyer. Indian curry, Thai curry, Japanese curry - he loves it all.

Rip Crosshair you would've loved flavored soju 😔

Rip Wrecker you would've loved Korean BBQ and all you can eat sushi

I don't think Hunter likes cold foods. His teeth are sensitive and they hurt when he eats cold stuff like ice cream (no I'm not projecting)

Crosshair likes mint ice cream. Echo likes rocky road. Wrecker enjoys strawberry or sherbert. Omega likes cookie dough. Tech likes caramel or coffee.

Ice cream is like the only kind of "dessert" that Crosshair likes (despite being lactose intolerant) - he doesn't really have a sweet tooth

WAIT CROSSHAIR WHEN I TELL YOU ABOUT BINGSU!!!

SPAM. SPAM. SPAM. Shut up they WOULD eat spam and idc what people say I fucking LOVE spam. Spam is the love of my life, they could never make me hate spam. I used to write parody love songs about spam as a kid. They would enjoy breakfasts of spam, rice, and eggs.

They'd devour the shit out of Mexican food. Like CMON-

Feel like Omega would like fiedo. And Echo too

Wrecker thinks breakfast burritos are godsend - he absolutely loves papas and chorizo

Y'know what would be funny? Echo being a picky eater yet LOVEING Mole. It's not for everyone (I personally like it) but he thinks it's good

Omega has a boba addiction. She has ro have it every week. Her favorites are Taro, Strawberry Matcha, and Honey Milk Tea

Only Hunter and Wrecker like boba; Echo, Crosshair, and Tech find the texture funny but they enjoy the drinks

I feel like Echo is a big bread eater. My sister reminds me a LOT of Echo and she absolutely ADORES bread (she's also a picky eater) - catch him at 85° or Paris Baguette

Hunter would love Soul Food and he also can work a grill

Rip Echo you would’ve loved soba and you would've loved 맥주

Tech actually secretly (not so secretly) has a sweet tooth - he really likes muffins and pies specifically

Omega and Wrecker record "Food Review" videos together

I have,, so many more ideas and whatnot but I'm leaving it here-

Ugh I just,,, I have so many foods I'd love to introduce them too-

[idontplaytrack]

What the hard launch

Janis ‘Imi’ike x fem! reader (+ older sister Regina)

Warnings: fluff & coarse language

Janis comes over the next day as promised, spending the night and making things right with your sister. Read part one & part two !

(Pictures used are from Pinterest & Auli’i’s IG)

“Hey! Here I am.”

“Hi.” You smiled once you saw her standing in front of you. Janis pulls you into a hug, rubbing your back, “How’d you sleep?”

“Pretty good, very energised.” You laughed, stepping aside so she could enter.

“Janis.” Regina stopped what she was doing in the kitchen and looked up, then walked over.

“Hi.”

“Hey.” Regina says with a little bit of a shrug.

Could’ve gone worse.

You went up to your room with Janis and left Regina alone downstairs. “Leave your door open!” Regina hollers.

“Didn’t expect you to actually come over.”

“Why’s that?” Janis asked as you two stepped inside your room.

“I know you and Regina have your own stuff to deal with and that you don’t exactly like her. I don’t really know what happened because she refused to talk to me about it, but if it makes you uncomfortable to be here, we don’t have to be here.” You sat down on your bed, Janis does the same.

“I’ll talk to Regina later, settle it once and for all. I’m here to see you, that’s it. I don’t need to focus on her, how she feels. As long as she doesn’t stop me from seeing you, even if we can’t go back to good terms again, at least we are on talking terms, you know?”

You looked at her, she does the same, grabbing ahold of your hand, “Don’t worry, that’s not your battle to fight.”

Before you could respond at all, a string of knocks on your door made you jump. “Sorry.” Regina says, “Janis, can I just talk to you for a minute?”

You looked between the two of them nervously, unwillingly letting go of Janis’ hand after she gives yours a squeeze.

“We’re just gonna talk. She’ll be right back, I promise.” Regina promised you.

Regina leads Janis to the kitchen island and sat down, telling the brunette to do the same. “I wanted to…apologise for what I did. The name-calling in middle school, the Burn Book, everything. All of that was unnecessary and hurtful and rude, and I don’t want that to affect your relationship with my sister. She really likes you and she’s really happy, and…you make her very happy which is all I want her to be. So, could we move forward from our past and just focus on what we have going on right now? Or, you don’t have to forgive me, I get that. I just want us to put aside our differences and problems when it comes to things concerning y/n.”

“You admitting you did something wrong is a big step, a big deal which I appreciate and though those words would stick for awhile, I forgive you. We were kids, we make mistakes. And as long as you mean it, we’re good.”

“Really?” Regina’s gaze softened at the unexpected response, “Okay, thank you. I— that’s all I need to know.”

Janis nods. “I really like her and I’m getting the feeling that she likes me back. But we’re just taking it slow…doing whatever feels right for us. We’re not official, but I’m definitely not seeing anyone else. I don’t want to put the pressure on her to get us the labels, I get how scary and emotional it can be having a first love, a first crush. What we have right now…is what I can see us being like for a long while. She doesn’t have to say those words yet if she doesn’t feel ready because I know her. I can feel the care and the love and the affection she has for me. It’s crazy to think about, honestly. We’ve all known each other for so long and all this just feels…right.”

“To be completely honest with you, every time we eat out I’m so worried because she’s allergic to peanuts— not severely, thank god. But she’s also lactose intolerant, yet she still loves to eat all kinds of ice creams and cheese and I just look at her like, why on earth are you putting yourself through hours of cramps and nausea and having to even go to the bathroom? It’s not too challenging to have to navigate that but now that our Mom’s always away, all the responsibilities kind of fall on me.”

“I’m sorry about the divorce.” Janis nodded understandingly.

“I appreciate that, and also just how fucking happy you’ve been making her. It’s so damn cute to witness.”

Janis stifles a laugh, “That’s…good to know.”

“Actually, I’m curious— she asked you out one weekend and you just went with it? Did you automatically go ‘it’s a date’ or ‘oh, she just wants to hang out’.”

“Regina. I’m no genius but I’m no fool either. I could kinda tell she likes me.” Janis reveals, “If you recall, I don’t usually just go up to somebody and make friends with them.”

“And now, a mandatory warning— if you break her heart. I’m coming after you.”

“I hear ya.” Janis shrugs, “Good talk. Can I go back upstairs now?”

“Sure.” Regina waves, “Go kiss your girl.”

“Oh, we haven’t done that yet.” Janis said back while walking up the stairs.

“I know it won’t take too long before it happens.” Regina smirks.

“Shut up.” Janis couldn’t help it but laugh, also secretly a little happy that Regina was so supportive of it all.

————

“How’d it go?”

“Perfect, actually. We’re good now.” She made her way to your side, getting her legs under the duvet.

“That’s so good.” You smiled, relieved.

“What do you wanna do?” Janis asks.

“Um…” You sigh softly, “I don’t know, really.”

“So you wanna just cuddle?” Janis asked cheekily, her arm was then felt wrapped around.

She did not just ask you that. Did you want that? Yeah. Would you actually verbally say yes? No. Then you felt her eyes looking at you again, so you just looked down, then away. “Since when were you this shy with me?” She jokes.

You laughed awkwardly, “Don’t know.”

“Well, my offer still stands. You want to cuddle?”

Okay, yeah, screw it. She was here right now, and you wanted to get comfy. You didn’t exactly have to say anything but just snuggle up against her in order for Janis to get her answer. So, that’s what you did. “Let’s watch a movie.” She suggests, finding your TV remote beside her. “You wanna pick?”

“Mm, no.”

“Okay then.” She chuckles, combing a hand through your hair as she spoke, “Comedy?”

“Okay.”

“Getting a little comfortable there, are we? That’s cute.” She realises you had your hand resting on her torso. Which you barely had the time to retract before she saw it.

“Sorry.”

“Sorry?” Janis squinted, “Hell, no. Don’t be sorry. That’s totally okay, put it there if you want to put it there.”

“Okay.” You nearly snorted laughing. “I— yeah.” Your hand finds its way back and you soon relaxed again, more so when you felt the warmth of her palm rubbing circles on the small of your back.

Halfway through the film, your mind drifts, and somehow came this question, “Jan?”

“Yeah?” Janis hums, eyes focused on the TV screen.

“What are we?” You continued, also fixated on the movie showing on the screen.

She pauses the video. Shit.

“Well, we’d be dating, technically. I’m not seeing anyone else but I don’t want either of us to feel the pressure of needing a label right away.” Janis answers softly, “I like you, I care about you and that’s what matters to me. I don’t need you to feel like you have to say anything or do anything to make it ‘official’. As long as our feelings are mutual, I’m happy with whatever we have right now and just…let everything else fall into place when it feels like the right time. Regina asked me, and I told her the same thing. I mean it, everything feels different with you— a good kind of different, yet still so familiar and soft and just…somehow exactly what I’ve dreamed of in a relationship.”

A smile tugs at your lips, “I didn’t even know how to tell you I liked you.”

“Doesn’t matter because I can feel that when I’m with you. The way you talk to me, the way you carry yourself, the way you look at me whether I’m talking to you or not. I know it’s not easy, it’s intimidating and intense and emotional and it’s not an easy step to take. But we’re here now one way or another.”

You took a deep breath and looked up at her, meeting her gaze, “I like you. I really like you, Jan.”

She smiles at you so damn brightly, it made you heart flutter. Janis wraps both her arms around you tightly, “I really like you too, y/n.”

“Woah, it’s getting a little dark outside.” Janis remarked. You snuggled closer, face down a little bit more, as if to block out the sight of the grey skies out your window.

“Hey, it’s okay.” She soothed, “It’s just a bit of rain.”

“I don’t like the thunder.” You told her, voice muffled.

She rubs your back again, pulling you closer, “It’s alright, I got you. Would it help if you put on headphones or something to block out the sound?”

“Never tried. I just ignore them and get startled every time I hear one.” You muttered, “Do you want any snacks? I’m gonna go downstairs and grab some things.”

“No, I’m good.” She says, scooting a little so you could get out.

You grabbed a bag of pretzels for you and Janis to share then a can of soda each. You returned to see her sprawled out on the bed, only looking up when she heard you set the items down. “Hey.”

“Whatcha doing?”

“Your bed’s really comfy.” She says.

“Okay, Jan.” You nod, chuckling, “Glad you’re comfortable. I got you a drink and some pretzels for us to share.”

“Can I just stay here?”

“Sure you can.” You joked, cracking the can open and taking a sip. Janis groans softly as she sat back up, “Come here, you.”

She pulls you into her lap, you yelped, scared that you were going to spill the drink. You look at her, she looks at you. Then, she leaned closer to you, brushing the hair out of your face. The intensity of the eye contact and sheer closeness of your faces made your heart race. Cupping your face, she gave you a look as a silent ask. You nodded your head eagerly, “Mhm.” The next thing you knew, her lips were against yours. Surprised, but you instantly melted into it.

Janis breaks away a few seconds later, still gazing right into your eyes, “Yeah, I’m gonna hide my face now.” You told her, feeling the blush quickly forming on your cheeks. You climbed off her lap and went back to the head of your bed, settling in your previous spot while you swirled the can in your hand.

You couldn’t help it but giggle, hiding your face behind one hand. You hear the same noise come out of her mouth a little ways in front of you. “Are you okay?”

“I am, I’m fine.” You said through the laughter.

She sits down next to you just like she did earlier, “Good.” She caresses your cheek with her thumb, a soft smile on her face.

You squealed, “I just— I can’t believe it. God I’m such a loser—”

“Hey, no!” Janis gasped, “You are not.”

“Yes I am, why am I making such a big deal out of a kiss—”

“No you aren’t.” She said back, laying her head in your lap, “I think it’s cute.“

————

Walking down the stairs as quietly as she could, Janis was shocked to see Regina in the kitchen. “It’s…1am. Why are you up?”

“Back hurts. Why are you up?”

Janis shrugs, going to pour herself a glass of water, “I was up talking with y/n, I didn’t even realise it was that late. But then she dozed off and I finally realised the time so I tucked her in.”

“You guys have been talking the whole time? Damn.”

“Four years is a long time, Regina. We talked about everything.” Janis sat down on a stool opposite the blonde. “Also we kissed.”

Regina’s mouth fell open, “Oh, my God. What?!”

“Then again.”

Regina nodded, seemingly impressed.

“Then…”

“‘Imi’ike, I don’t need to hear it if you went down on my sister. Never tell me that.”

“Relax, we didn’t do any of that.” Janis bites back a laugh, “I was gonna say then she just snuggled with me and dozed off.”

“I see she still loves clinging onto you.” Regina teased, “She’s so gay.”

“Yeah, well — so are we.” Janis chortled.

“I’m saying, she really loved laying on your chest even when she was tiny.” Regina smirked.

“I’ve got nice tits and I’m owning that, okay? She’s my girlfriend, if she wants to lay on me, she can do that all day.” Janis shrugs, shamelessly saying.

“You’re not drunk are you?” Regina eyes her suspiciously.

“Oh, no way. Sleep deprived? Definitely.” Janis glares at her, “I am running on Diet Coke and pretzels.”

Regina held back a laugh, “Was dinner that bad?”

“No, it was good. I’m just saying— we’ve been snacking on a bag of pretzels all day, after dinner too.”

“Yeah, she likes her pretzels.” Regina shrugs, “Go to bed.”

“No…I don’t think so.”

“Well she’s asleep so what do you want?”

“I want…to tell you that we’re good. I thought about what you said and we should definitely move forward. Life can only get better from here, right? Shit might have went down but life still had to move on. Now, we’re choosing to have a fresh-ish start. Make our lives better than they were before. No bitterness, no anger just tough lessons learned and new beginnings.”

Regina flashes her a genuine smile, “I’m glad, and I agree, how our lives are like depends on the choices we make. Alright, we’re good.” She raised her glass, Janis does the same. Their glasses clinked, “To new beginnings.”

Janis nodded firmly, “To new beginnings— is that wine?”

“Let me live okay? I have chronic pain and I basically am my little sister’s parent. A glass every now and then won’t hurt me.”

“Touché.” Janis shrugs, finishing her glass of water. “I’ll uh, head back upstairs and get some rest. You try and get some sleep, too. Good night.”

“Good night.”

🏷️ Tag list:

@ashecampos @auliisflower @cheesysoup-arlo @frogs00 @ludoesartnstuffs @pda128

💭A/N:

Hey look another part🤭 who wants more or should I just end it at 3 parts?

[mega-punani]

For your Pirate AU, what are all the boys favourite food/dishes/treats/fruits/veggies and drinks(alcoholic and non alcoholic)? I don’t think anyone has asked this, but I was curious, for all of them? Sans, Papyrus, Blue, Stretch, Red, Edge, Razz, Cash, Bear and Cinnamon?

Also are people allowed to use your vers of AUs or even your AUs in stories with different twists?? Like say pirate AU(since I already mentioned them), and like doing the dragged from they’re universe of one piece to a total new that’s kinda modern time? Dealing with an MC that’s trying to keep them outta trouble as well as hide they’re secret but also it’s where a true pacifist route happened??

And of course give you credit but can they use your make, vers, variant, au, whatever you wish to call it in this case, in stories and other works?

Yaw! People can use the pirate stuff for whatever honestly. The au is kinda my idea but not really cause I'm just smashin 2 things together lol. I don't mind. Of course, designs are made by @the-skeleton-in-ur-closet so if you end up drawing or using the designs you GOTS to credit them (or I will hunt you down /hj) Also, the dragging the pirate au to a modern Y/N would be so FUCKING FUN. I loooove those tropes saur much.

FAVORITE FOOD AND DRINKS:

Sans: Anything greasy and bready. Bro loves his carbs. Is a big fan of Ketchup too! Favorite drink is a hot mug of cocoa.

Papyrus: SPAGHETTI! And a wide range of pastas. He is also a huge fan of anything tomato. Looooves drinking iced teas, refreshing and sweet!

Blue: Huge fan of sugary and carbonated sodas but hates sparkling water. Blue is also a great enjoyer of greasy foods loaded with meat (like tacos). Likes fruits that are sweet and tropical.

Stretch: A refreshing jug of beer and potato based foods. He also has a deep love for spicy foods, even if he can't handle them well.

Red: MEAT. Bro loves him some bbq, steaks, and grilled goodies. He doesn't really have a favorite drink, but he'll enjoy a cup of coffee in the morning. 2 cubes of sugar and a dash of cream.

Edge: The stronger Edge's morning coffee, the less he will yell at the crew. This man needs his caffeine NEOW. Pasta is his guilty pleasure but he tries to suppress the fact that he wants to eat it constantly. He must set a good example by eating healthy...

Razz: Tea, wine, and cheese. Razz's holy trinity. Will nibble on a block of cheese in the middle of the night (scaring tf out of Bear)

Cash: A lover of alcohol. Every to all, especially the strong ones. He's a little embarrassed about this, but chocolate. Just cause he didn't get much as a kid,,,

Bear: Spicy foods and dairy. Spicy foods cause he can feel a strong kick from the food and it makes him all warm on the inside. He likes his dairy because it is still pretty new to him. (unfortunately, he is mildly lactose intolerant-)

Cinnamon: Desserts of all varieties. He loves him some sweet pastries, and he loves him some fudgy brownies. Cupcakes, muffins, cakes, donuts. Cinnamon got quite the sweet tooth. All of it can be paired with a hot cup of coffee that is 4 times more cream than coffee.

[ghostsbimbo]

𝒔𝒊𝒎𝒐𝒏 𝒈𝒉𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒓𝒊𝒍𝒆𝒚 𝒙 𝒍𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒐𝒔𝒆 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒐𝒍𝒆𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓!

a/n: i know, oddly specific. it's just fluff because listen, i am a fool who is lactose intolerant and obsessed with his man. i'll do more dietary restrictions and medical issues [ only ones with personal experience though, i'm sorry! ] cw: mentions of bodily functions

↝ to say he goes out of his way to find places that are lactose intolerant friendly, or sell lactose free things would be an understatement. ↝ the amount of money he'll spend on lactose free shit for you is astounding. ↝ but your gremlin lil self? totally goes for all the regular dairy products. ↝ one day you even eat so much dairy it causes you to become besties with the toilet back home, and a trash can, because it decides to come out both ends. ↝ "you learned your lesson, right?" ↝ you certainly did not, cause next day he comes home to you inhailing a bag of regular shredded cheese. ↝ your love for dairy knows no bounds, nor falters for no man. ↝ "you cant come crying to me when you get sick again, lovey." ↝ but you totally do anyways, and he takes care of you because he loves you. ↝ he also helps you stop buying & consuming dairy. - he wants you to be healthy, okay? ↝ but you guys agreed that once every few months you can have one thing that has dairy in it - it usually ends up being a small thing of ice cream, considering lactose free ice cream is very expensive.

[helly-watermelonsmellinfellon]

After thorough testing and experimentation with various foods and drinks, we have come to the conclusion that I have become lactose intolerant. Originally, we were concerned about fat intake, and that it might be a gallbladder issue, because that is something that does run in the family alongside lactose intolerance. But I don't eat fatty things very often because I can't tolerate the feel of them on my skin, and anytime I do eat something fatty, I don't have the issues as when I eat something with dairy in it.

Mac n' Cheese? I get sick. Boxed/Homemade with Butter and Milk? Sick. Box with ONLY Squeezable Velveeta 'cheese'? I don't get sick. Velveeta isn't cheese.

Cereal and Milk? I get sick.

Singapore Meifun? I don't get sick.

Pizza? I don't get sick.

Baked Chicken? I don't get sick.

Pork Tenderloin? I don't get sick.

Yogurt? I get sick.

Ice Cream? I get sick.

Sausage Gravy & Biscuits? I get sick.

Pancakes made w/Milk? I get sick. Pancakes made w/Water? I don't get sick.

Chili? I don't get sick.

Taco Meat? I don't get sick.

Ice Pops/Italian Ice? I don't get sick.

Milkshakes? I get sick.

Slushies(Coke, Cherry, Blue Raspberry)? I don't get sick.

Soda? I don't get sick.

Fish? I don't get sick.

Baked Chicken made w/Buttermilk? I get sick.

Rice Pudding? I get sick.

The big problem here is that I do not like any of the milk alternatives as they are disgusting. They are all even more expensive than how expensive regular milk itself is. I do like Skim Milk but that shit costs an arm and a leg.

I now have to take digestive supplements for dairy if I eat something with dairy in it...

I have RAD(Reactive Airway Disease), cuz doctors aren't sure if the symptoms count as Asthma yet or not, and mistook a lot of my issues for that because if I eat or drink anything cold or get hit in the face with sudden gusts of anything, it's like I'm thrown into an Asthma Attack. A long time ago, I just accepted that if I wanna have anything cold, or be outside in the cold or windy weather, that's just gonna be something that happens, and I'm probably going to cough my lungs out. It took a while for me to realize that RAD doesn't give you stomach cramps and diarrhea and horrible, sharp pains inside.

The weird thing is, like, I was at the doctor, and you know how they put the thing on your back, and they tell you to breathe deeply so they can listen to how your lungs are(I got a full 100% when I got my thing back). There was even a note about how good my breathing was at first. But right after doing that, I had been forced to wait for a bit as they entered info into the computer, and I went and got myself a little bit of cold water from the tap and proceeded to hack up a lung right afterward which drew immediate concern.

btw a drink being cold will NOT stop be from having it no matter how much my lungs protest afterward. Food having dairy in it MIGHT stop me though so, RIP.

So, yeah. That's what's going on rn.

[jaydove-writes]

when did you last eat boxed mac n cheese (if at all)

Never. I'm lactose intolerant. The only dairy worth destroying my intestines for is ice cream.

[theyhavetakenovermylife]

Random Facts About Minerva

Bayverse!Raphael x reader

All Children Joan Ragnar

A/N: A different type of middle child I guess, lol. Jokes aside, I adore this girl❤️

Warnings: Mentioning of childhood anxiety.

Following the theme of strong warriors, you and Raph decided to name your second born Minerva. Minerva being the Latin name for the Greek goddess of strategic war, Athena. But just like many of her cousins, she was often referred to by her nickname - Mini.

Mini had nothing against the name Minerva, it’s just that she sometimes forgot that that is her name. She’s so used to being called Mini, that she almost doesn’t notice when someone calls her Minerva. Each time she would suddenly sit up in realization with a; “oh shit, that’s me!”

Though named after a goddess of war, Minerva wasn’t that much of a feral fighter. Actually, she struggled a lot with anxiety throughout her childhood, especially separation anxiety. She shared a strong bond with her father, but sadly, for the first four years of Mini’s life, she was pretty much glued to Raph’s side, and would scream and cry like she was in danger, whenever Raph had to leave for patrol.

Mini did also suffer from frequent nightmares, all the way up to her late teens. As she grew older, she learned how to handle them, sharing them with you, Raph and her siblings in the morning. But as a toddler it was pretty bad. Mini would often come to you and Raph at night with tears in her eyes, having had yet another horrible nightmare, and only able feel safe in her father’s strong arms, with at least one of her small hands wrapped around your hand.

However, Mini would learn of ways to soothe herself and calm her anxiety, one of them being knitting. Just like Raph once took up knitting to calm his anger, Mini would start knitting in order to calm her anxiety. That had resulted in many blankets, along with new knitted gifts for the whole family.

At the age of 15, Mini was gifted a weapon from Master Splinter, or in Mini’s case - a pair of weapons. She was given two tanto knives, which she immediately took a liking to. Not only had it been her preferable weapon while training, but Splinter thought they suited her well. The nature of tanto knives would force Mini into close range combat, something he hoped would make her more confident.

Just like Mini looked up to Raph, she also looked up to her older sister. She was a bit timid when it came to punching a punching bag, but she did enjoy sitting around and watching Raph and Joan go at it. It wasn’t until her teen years that she decided to give it a try, with Raph and Joan understanding what emotional importance this moment had for Mini, encouraging and supporting her every step of the way.

Mini is very much a hugger. She likes hugging, and it is something she does, no matter if she was sad or happy. But she is very aware that some of her family members - siblings, cousins, uncles or aunts - weren't too happy about being hugged out of nowhere, so she will always ask first.

Mini eating cheese, drinking a milkshake, eating mac'n'cheese, or ice cream? No way. She’s incredibly lactose intolerant. Her cousin Marcello may have a minor intolerance to lactose, but Mini just can’t have any. Don’t even try to give her any, it WILL end badly, and she is very aware of it herself.

[thevalleyoftriumph]

i drink

MILK

[seekerstone]

who's ready for another round of Moon Teaches You How To Adult (Don't Try This At Home)

1. you can actually make mac ‘n’ cheese if you only have butter and not milk, it just takes more butter than called for. 

2. if you boil the pasta for less time than it says, THEY WILL be undercooked, regardless of how "done" they feel when you stir

3. crushed red pepper flakes go good with everything :)

4. if you are, perhaps, lactose intolerant, as in severely lactose intolerant, as in long lasting stomachaches from 2/3s of a glass of milk, STOP EATING AN ENTIRE BOX OF MAC ‘N’ CHEESE BY YOURSELF YOU FUCKING IDIOT

5. bathroom tap water is objectively no different from kitchen tap water and yet feels somehow unhygienic

6. speaking of unhygienic if you’re willing to still use the tablespoon of butter you dropped on the floor around where your cat likes to groom himself, maybe consider investing less heavily in the whole “five second rule” thing. washing it off is NOT as ingenious as you think 

7. still works though. just saying

8. also the butter thing doesn’t really make a sauce. like it works technically but uhhh there’s gonna be a lot of undissolved powder and the “sauce” will be Very watery. like visibly watery. idk man maybe just eat some leftovers

9. “moon are you okay like ever” No thanks for asking do u want some mac ‘n’ cheese butter edition? it tastes! 

[mars-ipan]

ok but how could i ever spend the rest of my life living with a lactose intolerant person. i’m fucking obsessed with cheese i wouldn’t be able to cook for them all i’d want is mac n cheese and like. poutine

[zooone]

ZONE

do you like cheese

-bee

YES I LOVE CHEESE

[midnight-on-pluto]

Omg I just had a great idea. Can you do a bnha reaction to lactose intolerance! Y/n but they dont care their lactose intolerant. They find them sat on the couch in the common room eating a tub of icecream and one of themselves just like "arent you lactose intolerant?" And y/ns just like "yeah and what about it?" And carrys on eating the icecream. I just think it would be hilarious.

Lactose Intolerant reader

Genre: fluff, crackfic

Warnings: swearing

A/N: as a fellow lactose intolerant i will write this with all my horrible experiences with dairy and the way my boyfriend acts whenever i eat the no no juice. enjoy!

✄——————————————————————

𓆝 Midoriya had honestly become unfazed to you eating dairy. you knew it would have dire consequences, but you frankly did not care. He hated when you did it still. So when he opened your dorm room door to see you chowing down on a tub of ice cream he just sighed. “You know you should really just get lactose free ice cream,” he mentioned. “that’s shit,” you respond. he huffs then goes, “did you at least have a pill?” slaps his forehead when you say no.

𓆝 Todoroki was confused when you told him. asks, “what’s lactose?” when you explain he then randomly starts buying lactose free stuff, ends up loving almond milk and oat milk. he doesn’t say much when he finds you because he knows it’s no use, just says, “you shouldn’t eat that.” and you know you’re being scolded. bought you lactose pills once so you went about half a month taking them out of guilt. after they ran out you just never told him and just suffer.

𓆝 Iida is on your ASS about it. omfg will not shut up when he finds you devouring chocolate or something. “y/n you must stop this,” he’s trying to pry your hands from the treat as the rest of 1-A stares horrified. gives up once he knows you won’t let go, why do you have so much strength right now? will make sure there’s lactose free stuff in the fridge, leaves a bottle of lactose pills in the cupboard, you don’t take them out of spite. gets a lot of “fuck you I’m eating the ice cream you left in the fridge” messages from you but he’s happy about it because unbeknownst to you he bought the ice cream for you and guess what? it has no dairy in it you miserable fuck.

𓆝 Bakugo is livid when he finds you eating dairy. literally yells at you “Y/N PUT THE SPOON DOWN YOU DUMMY STOP IT GIVE IT TO ME!!” he’s chasing you around please sprint do not give him it. out of humour you send him messages saying “i’m eat dairy rn” and he LOOSES HIS SHIT, all of UA hears him scream.

𓆝 Kirishima is so cute please!! he looks for lactose free recipes and makes you dinner. at first you were sceptical but holy fuck it’s so good. he buys you lactose free snacks, ice cream, chocolate, cookies, you name it he finds it. such a cutie he literally goes dairy free for you, doesn’t eat dairy anymore. he has it on the off time but he doesn’t want you to feel alone. also buys you lactose pills for when you do get dairy and makes sure you take it 15-20 minutes before dinner is ready.

𓆝 Kaminari is the chaos king so you know he watches you munchkin eat the ice cream and completely forgets your allergy. grabs a spoon and digs in himself. before you know it, sleepover in the living room and you guys eat snacks all night. loves getting messages saying “omg i regret that CHEESE” he finds them so funny. his personal favourite is “i gotta shid.”

𓆝 Shinsou doesn’t give a flying FUCK. buddy watches you eat ice cream and is internally disgusted with you and disappointed. flicks your forehead sometimes and says, “idiot” but other than that he won’t say anything. did get you lactose pills though and glares at you if you won’t take them.

view my masterlist submit an ask

[moved2violentfeedist]

Maybe a little basic, but the thought of someone eating stuff they know will upset their stomach and make them bloated always gets me. Like someone lactose intolerant absolutely binging on anything dairy. Whole extra cheese, cheese stuffed crust pizzas, baskets full of mozzarella sticks, ice cream, milkshakes, mac n cheese. Their gut making sick angry groans as they shove down even more, their body barely able to process it. Lots of deep, sick, wet belches as they try to keep everything down but let out some of the gas bloating their stomach to 3 times it's size!

THIS!!! i love this the most

p sure i posted about it too, but it just gets me

[hanemiso]

Operation: Dairy For Dazai

>>>a dazai osamu x reader<<<

request: "omg i love your post about Dazai and his possibility of having lactose intolerance hahaha, i wish you could do a fanfic out from that"

a/n: um this is such a great idea??? this was so much fun to write omg i hope y'all like it! also i know dazai doesn't necessarily drink coffee with milk and sugar/creamer, but for the sake of the story he does! also sorry if the gif looks weird, i couldn't find his weird little run anywhere else.

synopsis: no one has seen dazai drink milk or consume dairy of any kind...it's up to the agency to figure out if dazai is lactose intoleralnt or not!

warnings: one swear word, dazai not being able to handle dairy

"hey atsushi, you ever notice that dazai doesn't consume dairy?"

"what do you mean, y/n?" atsushi asks, glancing up at you from the computer.

"think about it. have you ever seen dazai drink milk? eat cheese? buy ice cream?" you press on, raising your brows.

atsushi takes a second to think before responding with, "now that you mention it, no i haven't...why are you asking anyway?"

"i think dazai is lactose intolerant."

you now have atsushi's full attention as he rolls closer to your desk and furrows his brows. he looks around the room for the brunette you're talking about before turning back to you, "you think so? i don't know...maybe it's like a dietary thing."

you deadpan, "you really think the man who goes out of his way to try new attempts at committing suicide--the one who came into the office with a hallucinogenic mushroom from a random mountain--is concerned with his own nutrition?"

atsushi goes silent and nods his head in agreement.

"come on, atsushi. i mean, why would that be the one thing out of his entire diet that he'd choose to cut out?"

"that's true, i've seen the kinds of things he eats...but why is this something you're interested in?"

"because, atsushi, the thought of THE dazai osamu even having one slight weakness--and the fact that it very well may be dairy, of all things-- is amusing. you don't find it interesting? that he can survive things like bullet wounds and getting kidnapped without any problem, but a glass of milk could completely ruin him?"

atsushi was beginning to take interest in what you were talking about. you had a point, he couldn't deny that. they don't know much about dazai and his life as it is. just as it began clicking in his brain, kunikida walks over to your desk to tell you both to get back to work. at the sound of his footsteps, you turn towards him and before he can say anything at all, you ask him the same question as atsushi. kunikida has a smiliar reaction and response to atsushi, which just adds to the curiosity of dazai's possible dairy problem.

"i don't pay attention to that idiot's diet anyway, nor do i care." he says matter-of-factly.

anyone could tell that kunikida was slightly interested, just by the way he was continuing to linger by your desk as you continued talking about it with atsushi. soon enough, tanizaki had joined the conversation; then ranpo and kenji, and soon everyone in the agency other than fukuzawa. everyone was huddled around your desk, sharing memories of dazai's lack of dairy consumption. it was then decided that this theory of dazai being lactose intolerant would be put to the test when dazai returned to the office.

ranpo had come up with the idea, it wasn't too elaborate but a simple plan that could trick even the likes of dazai into drinking a glass of milk. during the discussion of dazai's dietary habits, it was also brought to everyone's attention by kunikida that it seems dazai doesn't have a high spice tolerance either. with that in mind, the plan was for the agency to have a joint dinner tonight, with curry on the menu tonight; spicy curry to be exact. dazai always flirts with you in the office, so it was your job to distract him by indulging in his pick-up lines and such. once he takes a bite and realizes it's too spicy for him, he'd try to find water to alleviate the pain, but coincidentally there is no water in sight. because of this, he'd be forced to drink the glass of milk you hand him. of course, if this didn't work, for dessert you'd give him a cup of coffee with milk and sugar (he uses non-dairy creamer in his coffee anyway).

you and kyouka set up a table to put the bowls of curry on, while atsushi and kunikida began bringing in the curry. tanizaki, naomi, and ranpo were in charge of getting the desserts to really sell the image of a nice gathering. kenji and yosano were in charge of tinkering with the water pipes to close off any possibility of access to water. this task was treated with such care, as any mission brought into the agency would be. each and every one of you were interested in learning about this side of dazai; are you going the extra mile for such a minuscule detail of someone's life? yes, but will it be amusing to find out the truth? also yes.

soon enough, dazai is spotted out the window. the truth is about to be revealed, and you are all nervous but excited.

"remember guys, act natural! operation: dairy for dazai starts now!" you exclaim quietly.

you can hear everyone take a deep breath and begin "talking" amongst themselves as dazai walks in. he stops in his tracks as he eyes the table holding all the bowls of curry and widens his eyes in surprise.

"oh? what's this?" he asks, gesturing to the table.

"y/n suggested having dinner in the agency tonight, so we got some curry and desserts." atsushi explains.

"have a bowl, dazai-kun." you smile at him as you hand him the bowl of spicy curry.

"ah, you're too nice, my belladonna!" he exclaims and grabs the bowl.

so far so good, you think.

you can feel the tension in the room as everyone waits for dazai to take a bite. the conversations carry on amongst people, but no one was truly paying attention to what was being said. the gazes of each member of the agency shifted to dazai as he raised the spoon up to his mouth. you could hear the sound of everyone in the room holding their breaths, even kunikida was sweating.

once the spoon had been placed in his mouth, everyone froze in place. you and atsushi tried to pretend to not be paying much attention to dazai, but it was so hard not to when all of a sudden he stopped chewing. you both slowly turn your head towards him and see his eyes go wide once again. he hurries to the nearest trashcan and spits out the spoonful, quickly turning and looking for a cup of water on the table.

"w-what's wrong, dazai-san?" atsushi asks, also sweating.

"h-hot! spicy curry! atsushi-kun, i need water! please!" dazai exclaims.

you run to the table and pretend to look for a cup of water before grabbing the glass of milk and hurrying towards dazai.

"sorry dazai-kun, i couldn't find any water, but i heard milk helps with the pain!" you hold out the glass of milk.

it feels like time stops as dazai sits there, breathing shallows breaths in attempts to stop the fire in his mouth, and contemplating whether he wants to try his luck with continuing to gasp for air or drinking the milk. he hates suffering, after all. in his mind, all that matters at this moment is extinguishing the flames dancing on his tongue. he grabs the glass, just as planned, and drinks a couple big gulps. everyone is now turned to him, asking if he's okay.

"i'm...fine." he says between pants.

now it was only a matter of time. the dinner continued as normal, but dazai wasn't as social as usual. he sat down with you and atsushi as you continued to talk about different missions.

"oh yeah, dazai-kun, do you remember--" you turn to look at him but realize he's staring at the ground intently as sweat beads on his face, "dazai?"

he blinks once and tries regaining his composure as he looks up at you with his usual smile, "yes, belladonna?"

"are you feeling alright?" you ask with concern laced in your voice.

"of course i am!" dazai tries to reply cheerily, but his bright tone is cut off by a rumbling in his stomach that makes his face twist.

he tries replacing his expression with a smile again, but it looks more pained as another low rumble emits from his body. at this point, everyone in the office is stealing glances. he looks back at the ground as his eyes widen yet again, and only two words are uttered before he takes off running to the bathroom:

"oh shit."

everyone stares at the door, processing what just happened. it was so silent, the only sound you could hear was dazai's rapid footsteps echoing down the hall.

"i knew it." you smirk a bit to yourself.

but your feeling of victory is brief as the horrid smell invades your nostrils. your poor co-workers get assaulted by the same stench, and you all are forced to evacuate.

operation: dairy for dazai was a success, but at what cost?

------------------------------------------

BONUS: how chuuya found out about dazai's lactose intolerance

chuuya was the only person who knew of dazai's problem with dairy, but the way he found out was purely accidental and scarred him.

the event took place when they were 17, and they were both stopping for a drink at a local cafe after a mission. the mission wasn't too bad, but it was early in the morning and chuuya wanted coffee. dazai told him it would stunt his already lacking growth, so chuuya wasn't in the greatest mood; he never was around dazai.

"i wanna sit down so you can order for me!" dazai claps his hands together.

"hey! i don't wan-" chuuya begins to protest but dazai cuts him off while walking away.

"you know what i like!"

chuuya grumbles in annoyance as he heads to the counter and orders two drinks. in his fit of anger, he accidentally ordered two coffees with milk and sugar, but failed to notice as he brought the cups to the table dazai sat at. he narrows his eyes as he sets the cup down in front of dazai and sits across from him. chuuya stares out the window to try and tune out dazai when he hears dazai ask him something quietly.

"is there...milk in this?"

chuuya scoffs and replies, "what's wrong, can't handle a bit of milk?"

he was obviously joking, but the sound that emits from dazai's body in response makes him realize it was no joke. dazai quickly stands and runs to the bathroom while chuuya sits there in disbelief, but with the hope that the rest of the day won't be ruined because of it.

that was wishful thinking though, as they frequently had to stop at public restrooms on their way home and chuuya had to deal with the rancid odor that followed dazai as closely as his own shadow.

taglist: @justmycupoftea93 @loveliestmolly @darlingimawitch @b-i-t-t-i-e-s @browneyespinkhair @silverstar22x @stupidfrogfreak @anotakugardener @jhopesstickeredcarrier @joyfulartisanstudentlamp @spacedoutcoffeebeans @puddingowo66 @kaeyapng @beomluvrr @imobsessedwithskkanditshows