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radarsteddybear · 1 month ago

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Rating Kohl's Hanukkah Merch 2024

I went to Kohl's the other day to check out their Hanukkah products, and...it was a bit of a mixed bag. Some pictures are taken from the 'net because I only really took pics of the most egregious offenders.

First up, we have this Star of David...Christmas tree ornament? They had a lot of ornaments, which isn't really all that useful to most Jews. Sure, some Jews celebrate Christmas for one reason or another, and some even have some sort of a "Hanukkah Bush" which they may (or may not, idk what people do) decorate with Hanukkah-themed Christmas tree ornaments, but there isn't really much of anything for the rest of us to do with these except maybe hang them on our cabinet door handles as seasonal decorations. Aside from the fact it's a Christmas tree ornament, the Star of David itself is pretty nice. The random 5-pointed star in the middle of it...is not. 3/10 stars.

Next up, we have another Christmas tree ornament, this one being a dreidel. It would be a pretty nice dreidel if the nun (נ) and gimmel (ג)(pictured left) didn't both look like nuns. As you can see, they are very similar looking letters, and the picture on the website does show them both correctly, but something in their manufacturing process must be going wonky because the gimmels in the store do not look like gimmels. Otherwise, though, the letters are a) Hebrew letters b) the correct Hebrew letters and c) in the correct order, so. 2/10 stars.

Sticking with the ornaments, we bring you one of a bowl of matzo ball soup. Matzo ball soup doesn't have anything to do with Hanukkah; traditional Hanukkah foods are latkes (potato pancakes), sufganiyot (jelly doughnuts), and Hanukkah gelt (chocolate foiled coins). Matzo ball soup would be more a Passover food, if I had to assign it to a holiday, though it's really an every-day-of-the-year food. This is kind of the equivalent of having an Christmas tree ornament of an Easter egg. I guess, if your Hanukkah bush is Judaism-themed rather than Hanukkah-themed, it fits right in. Still, it feels like it falls into the same category of thing that brings us things like supermarkets putting challah on their Passover end caps. 4/10 stars.

Speaking of challah...

Same thoughts as above except that challah belongs with Shabbat, which you will definitely have at least one of during Hanukkah! Some years, you even get to celebrate two Shabbats during Hanukkah! 5/10 stars.

Not a bad sweater. I appreciate its simplicity, its lack of the same two or three silly puns relating to Hanukkah you see all over the place every year, and the absence of the raunchiness I tend to see with Hanukkah sweaters. Still, I'd much rather it be an actual sweater I could wear than a Christmas tree ornament. 6/10 stars.

Moving on from the Christmas tree ornaments (for now), we have a ceramic dreidel that is, for some reason, melting. This thing is big enough that, at first glance, I thought it might be a cookie jar, but it's probably just a bit too small for that. You can't see it in the picture, but, while all of the letters are written correctly, they are not in the correct order (right to left OR left to right). You almost had it, Kohl's. You were so close with this one. 3.5/10 stars.

This Hanukkah garland is pretty nice. It's got dreidels, Hanukkah menorahs, Stars of David, and doves holding olive branches. Except the Hanukkah menorahs aren't kosher--that middle candle should be offset in some way from the rest. And doves don't have anything to do with Hanukkah--that comes from the story of Noah's Ark, and, as far as I know, that story isn't associated with any specific holiday. 6.5/10 stars.

I'm not usually a big fan of these countdown calendars because they feel a bit too much for me like advent calendars. I know, I know, it doesn't have the little windows with little gifts inside, but still. And this one feels like the design could very easily have been repurposed from one made for a different holiday. What's with the giant candles in the doorways? Hanukkah menorahs belong in the window, not the door. And the fact that they decided to show "25" in as the number of days until Hanukkah...definitely a choice that brings me right back to advent calendars. 3/10 stars.

Ah, finally, some good Hanukkah merch. It looks like it could be a Hanukkah menorah, but it's really just a wooden sign that says "Hanukkah" against a backdrop of dreidels. No notes. 8.5/10 stars.

This piece of Happy Hanukkah artwork is very beautiful. It has everything--Stars of David, accurate dreidels, the words "Happy Hanukkah"...it even has a kosher menorah! Plus a lot of floral elements for decoration because sure, why not. Looks nice. The only thing is that the light-up element is all or nothing--you can't light just some of the candles to reflect which night of Hanukkah it is. If it could do that, it would get a full 10 stars (and I probably would have bought it), but since it can't, I'm giving it 8/10.

I'm throwing these two dishes together even though they're two separate products. You can see that they repeat the same motifs as the wall hanging. The plate on the left doesn't have anything Hanukkah-specific except for the words, "Happy Hanukkah," but the plate on the right has the same dreidels and (kosher!) menorah as the wall hanging. 7/10 stars.

What is a home decor department without at least one gnome? This one's done up in blue and gold with a Star of David hat for the holiday. It's also holding a lit Hanukkah menorah, which I don't really recommend unless you're just moving it from one spot to another (which you probably should have done before lighting it). I can't quite tell if the menorah is kosher or not--the middle candle does look offset from the others, but it appears that it's just because it's a longer candle rather than because the candle holder is higher up than the others. 8/10 stars.

And here we have another gnome, except this one is...another Christmas tree ornament. It says "Happy Hanukkah" on its hat, and the Stars of David have been moved to its robe. It's also holding a wrapped gift instead of a menorah, which. I'm going to be honest with you: at first glance, it looked to me like the gnome was holding a cross. Clearly, it's not a cross, but come on; the crossed part of a ribbon on a package like that is supposed to be on the top, not the side. Otherwise you end up with the ribbon being horizontal on the other sides when it should be vertical. I'm knocking points off for this gnome's lack of giftwrapping skills. 6.5/10 stars.

These cookie cutters are fine. They are entirely serviceable. But why is the dreidel pictured upside-down? It's not just this one picture, either--the other picture on the website also has the dreidel upside-down. I guess the photographer didn't know what a dreidel is? 8.5/10 stars.

I had something like this when I was a kid. In fact, we might still have it lying around somewhere, though some of the candles are missing. It's a neat wall hanging--the candles can be removed from their pockets, so you can arrange the wall hanging to reflect what night of Hanukkah it is. On mine, the flames attached to the candles with velcro, allowing you to "light" the candles if you so chose. On this one, the flames are sewn onto the candles, so they are perpetually lit. What I want to know is why whoever was in charge of taking the photos for the website didn't take a moment to make sure that all the candles (save the one in the middle) were even. It does appear, though, that the pocket for the middle candle has a seam maybe an inch from the bottom, offsetting that middle candle and making this a kosher menorah. 9/10 stars.

I don't know if I've ever seen a Hanukkah snow globe before. This one features a Star of David on the inside, with another Star of David drawn inside it for some reason, and the 9 candles of a fully-light Hanukkah menorah below it on the outside. Not being able to see the menorah itself, I can't tell whether it's kosher or not, but since the candle in the middle is higher than all the others, I'll give it the benefit of the doubt. What I don't like is the "Peace love and light" written underneath the candles--there is a comma conspicuously missing between "Peace" and "love." Oh, and the snow globe plays the dreidel song when wound up.

I'd also like to take a moment to remind everyone that Stars of David don't have much of anything specifically to do with Hanukkah--they're a symbol of Judaism. So why we've got one front and center inside the snow globe, I don't know. There's nothing wrong with it being there, it just...isn't the symbol I'd choose for something specifically made for Hanukkah. 6.5/10 stars, mostly for the missing comma.

Now this. This is a Hanukkah snow globe. It's got two sweater-wearing cats playing dreidel in front of a pile of presents (clearly wrapped by the gnome ornament from above--you can see the way that the ribbon is weirdly horizontal on the side that isn't directly facing frontwards). The dreidel appears to be correct (though I didn't take the time to check all four sides of it in the store), and the presents are appropriately wrapped in blue paper (not that there's anything that says that you've gotta douse the holiday in the color blue...or anything connecting the color blue to the holiday at all, outside of marketing). Did I mention that it's cats wearing sweaters and playing dreidel? This snow globe also, of course, plays the dreidel song. 10/10 stars.

This company sure knows when it's got a good thing going. This throw pillow features the same design of cats playing dreidel as the snowglobe did, but more stylized and a bit cleaner. 15/10 stars.

#Kohl's #Hanukkah #Chanukah #Judaism #Jewish things #menorah #dreidel #cats #star of david #original post #Hanukkah fails

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einsteinsugly · 10 months ago

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Random advice from a retail shopper/employee.

Discount stores (TJMaxx, Marshall's, etc):

*Avoid non name brand stuff. The off brand/in house stuff is Forever 21/H&M quality. Don't bother. Bad stitching, pulls, small holes, low quality fabric, etc, are all typical (personal experience, ugh). You can get better stuff at Target, frankly.

*If unsure, Google to make sure what you found is a name brand!

*The name brand stuff is far more prominent in the men's department, as well as in activewear.

*Just scout juniors' for American Eagle, Levi's, and Hollister stuff. Leave the rest. The worst quality stuff is there.

*Democracy jeans are the best, even if...

*Some name brand stuff is kind of like outlet store versions (still solid, though). Look for different tags from the OGs, different insignia, etc.

*They seriously have the best cheap, reusable bags.

JCPenney:

*They literally sell the same styles year after year.

*Their flannels and leggings are really good.

*Their blouses suck. Don't bother.

*Coupons don't work on name brands (like Levi's) and clearance.

*Look online for coupon codes, before you go. Show the barcode at checkout.

Kohl's:

*Their in-house denim brands suck, and so do their flannels.

*Their blouses and hoodies are solid.

*The last two on JCPenney's list apply here, too.

Old Navy:

*Their everywear tees are amazing. So are their sweatpants.

Hollister:

*They literally have the best sweatshirts (Gap is great, too).

Target:

*They sell Bali bras for way cheaper than the department stores do.

*Avoid their burnout fabric stuff, because it's especially cheap.

*I'm pretty sure this is well known, but their bathing suits are the best.

Online:

*If you find something you like from a brand that sells on multiple vendors (like Lucky Brand, Levi's, etc), Google the product name. You might be able to find it for a cheaper price. And maybe in other colors, too.

General:

*January and February are the dead parts of the year. This is when you can get good clearance stuff.

*You can also get good clearance summer stuff from August to early October.

*If a graphic on a clothing item is shiny/feels caked on, it will crack.

*American Eagle and Maurice's are two of the very few places that typically sell x-short/x-long pants.

*If possible, splurge on shoes. They last way longer than their cheap counterparts, and you save money (and waste!).

#non t7s #my essays #fashion #tjmaxx #target #kohl's #i am learning the very first one the hard way ugh

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