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drawbauchery · 4 years ago

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Pre and Post-Second Session Secrets

fic by cartoons-tothemoon!

fic commission info inside!

Private, in all his years, was always regarded as oblivious, dense, benign.

He knew this, and most of the time, he didn’t even mind such a thing. Was it really so hard to believe that a cutie pie like him that liked knitting and baking was also capable of feats of incredible violence?

Of course, the answer was always “yes.” Because of course it was.

However, Private had found himself a different role to settle himself into in his most recent years. Or rather, a secret trait, that he treasured along with his more open and obvious personality traits, like kindness and empathy.

And that trait was quite simply, being perceptive.

It was undeniable that Private wasn’t always aware of his surroundings, but he was aware of people.

He could tell when Skipper was getting a little too paranoid for his own good or when Rico missed Julien especially bad on hour-long missions, or when Kowalski was about to have a sensory-related meltdown.

It was why he was the one who always paid rent.

People liked Private, and Private liked quite a lot of them. Even the ones he didn’t like, he seemed to have an understanding of.

They thought they understood him, and he found that he understood them quite well.

———

He couldn’t understand this quite well, however.

Skipper was a…character. Let’s just say that. Ignoring his haircut and his arms and his sharp eyes that always had a certain spark to them and-

Ignoring all that, Skipper was the type to let things slip under the radar. Sure, it’s not like Kowalski WANTED people to know how his last relationship went, and Rico’s cavalcade of issues was always on full display even if they created a sort of smoke-screen for other things, but with Skipper…his issues only came up when they physically pervaded their lives. Dr. Blowhole or Hans, for example, it would’ve been nice to know that Skipper had particular targets on his back, but, that was spy stuff lost to the days. Of course he didn’t talk about it.

He was now referring more so to things like his extreme fear of needles, or that one time when it came up that he could tie a cherry stem with his tongue. Just last week was the first time Private had even heard a thing about Skipper’s apparently strained relationship with his family. He’d kind of assumed he didn’t have a family at that point, as sad as that sounded to say.

Weird insecurities, secrets, skills, and even just his past in general were things he never mentioned because it “never came up,” but it’s not like Private hadn’t asked him about a few of those things before. Skipper just happened to always dismiss him, there was always a reason for him not to contend with the questions in mind, be it they were already busy with whatever crisis the day had in store for them or whatever other excuse Skipper could make up at the moment.

So, Skipper was a private person. There certainly wasn’t anything wrong with that. It’s quite ironic that he himself wasn’t MORE private, in fact.

And sure, it occasionally lead to a whole incident, or two, or…five, but it’s not like they could really say something about it anyhow. It wasn’t that they weren’t allowed to call him out for certain things, they certainly were, but if they began asking him to be open…well, wouldn’t they have to be more open too? To point the blade one way and not expect it to pierce you as well was a foolhardy argument to make. And besides, what would they even be asking him? “Be more open and honest about your secrets and feelings?” Not only is that vague as hell, it’s just…

It’s a lot to ask of someone.

Private seemed open in a way that made people comfortable with him, but was he really open at all? Sure, he had no problem discussing things like his interests or some elements of his past with others, but now that he had to think about it, it kind of obfuscated the truth.

After all, being so open about living with Uncle Nigel most of his life made people forget that he could’ve been doing other things with his life as well.

Not that the Armadillo Kid forgot, anyhow.

So, maybe secrets were fine after all. Maybe Skipper didn’t even realize he was keeping secrets until they came up. After all, the needle thing only came up during a physical with the team’s doctor, the cherry stem thing only came up while they were getting ice cream, and his strained relationship with his family only came to light because he received a letter from them that he tore up before reading when he was helping Private sort through his mail pile.

To make something out of it when he has no reason to would just be silly, and to put this extra level of scrutiny on Skipper, or anybody for that matter would no doubt weaken their trust in him, and that was the last thing he’d want.

Being cute and loving and trustworthy wasn’t something Private saw as a skill he had to hone, it was just how he was, but that didn’t mean it didn’t take work. Love and trust were labors all their own, and just because they weren’t the same thing as being able to construct ray guns or have inexplicable amounts of dynamite in his hoodie’s pocket didn’t mean it wasn’t worth something, to somebody like him.

After all, no matter if the team possessed enough dynamite to destroy the Eastern seaboard or conquer Mars, they’d always need somebody to pay rent.

And although there were times when Private wanted to press, wanted to question, wanted to scream from the rooftops how much he wanted to understand with all his heart, he relented. He relaxed. Sure, he took note of such incidents, but that wasn’t being nosy. That was just his job.

So, Private, in all his patience, let things be. Sometimes secret were secrets for a reason, and prying open a treasure chest with a crowbar was never going to be an easy task, especially if he could later count on the key to wash up on the shore. Why pry now?

And that was his mentality for quite a long time.

Until a crowbar washed up on the shore.

———

In retrospect, it felt like it was a few day’s coming. Skipper seemed to be slipping from his usual emotional state of “fine, but tired” to “fine, but tired AND jumpy,” which doesn’t seem like that much of a difference until a tap on the shoulder gets you pressed against the fridge in the exact position it would take to dislocate your entire upper body.

He just wanted a glass of water.

Of course, Skipper apologized a thousand times over, but Private just brushed this off as Skipper having a bad bout of insomnia, and so, Private just dropped him off at his room for a nap, circadian rhythm be damned.

It didn’t seem like insomnia. Sure, it’s not like Private knew Skipper’s sleep schedule enough to say that it WASN’T insomnia, but…

He could just tell that something else was bothering him. He couldn’t tell why, maybe it was the way he only acted out like this when being touched or when he knew other people were around, maybe it was the eyebags that felt less sallow and deep than he knew they’d be after a practically sleepless week, or maybe it just felt like he had something to hide.

If he was trying to hide something, it would seem like he had nothing to hide in the first place. Skipper was a master of the double bluff, the triple bluff, and so on and so forth. Skipper practically waltzed around the truth on the best of days.

However, this clearly wasn’t the best of days. Skipper was obviously, clearly, undeniably hiding something, and was making no effort to even hide those efforts. Sure, a double bluff was a double bluff, but that only meant that this was either a remarkable version of such a psychology, or an absolutely terrible version of what it really was.

You could never really tell with a guy like Skipper.

Of course, given that his ice pack still didn’t seem to dull the pain of nearly having his arm removed from his socket, and how spooked Skipper seemed to be about the whole thing, there was a little bit of certainty that this wasn’t just an act. Whether because he did it in the first place, or apologized for it, he couldn’t say for certain.

(Sleeplessness, erratic movement, paranoia, irritation…were his hands trembling?)

At this point, Private wasn’t really certain WHAT to do, confronting him on it was certain to escalate things, but if he didn’t do SOMETHING about it, Skipper might actually kill somebody. It’s not like Skipper would approach him about any emotional vulnerabilities or problems he was facing. He didn’t talk to anyone about them. Not by choice, anyhow.

He had to do this. He had to figure something out, and it most certainly had to be him.

Private hated to boil this down in such a way, but getting people to open up to him, especially when they didn’t want to, was a lot like operating one of those coin-operated claw machines. Some of those games were easier than others, and a lot more may take it for granted that you would try again, but it was basically the same idea.

To win the game, you had to look at all the angles, you had to time your moves just right in accordance to the game, and, of course, you had to have a delicate touch. That was how you won your prize, be it an adorable stuffed toy, or insight into one of your dearest friend’s issues.

You couldn’t shake the machine, or break it. Because then you’re not playing the game.

You can’t analyze the game simply as a mechanical device, and expect to win either, because there’s nothing wrong with how the mechanisms actually operate, just how the machine takes them.

It has to be him. He’s the one with the gentle hand. He’s the one who can see all the angles, and, yes, he knows when he needs to apply the force necessary to not just play the game, but to win. The people around him need him to play to win.

And in many ways, they’re lucky.

Private’s great at those games. Where else would he get all of his stuffed animals, after all?

———

It felt like Skipper had settled down at dinner. Sure, he tapped his silverware softly when his fingers seemed to lose the rhythm he took while fidgeting, but he seemed more tired than anything else. Tired and sad.

Which, on one hand, was not great. The last thing Private wanted was for his friends to be sad, but it also meant that he was open.

He was stuck.

Trapped by societal convention. He couldn’t leave the table until he ate all of his food, and because Kowalski prepared it tonight, the consequences for leaving would not only be an empty stomach, but a hyper self-conscious scientist in the coming days, a price rather damning considering the combination of how sad he’d get and how much yellow-cake uranium he had access to.

So, now was the perfect time for an intervention.

“Hey, Skipper, how’s it going?” Perfect opener. Bland and unoriginal, a little suspicious considering the lack of conversation currently going on, but, nonetheless, it was the only entrance he really could take.

Of course, there’s already so much weight to be taken from “how’s it going?” But a person who’s doing fine in the world won’t think about that. They’ll just be fine. And they’ll say they’re fine.

“Oh, uh. Fine.” Skipper said, not exactly startled, but not exactly there, either.

“Do anything interesting today?”

“I already apologized for that.”

“I meant other things. Interesting things.”

Now, this did not look to be a compelling conversation, mostly because it wasn’t. Skipper wasn’t even really answering the questions, using half measures to make sure he never had to lift his eyes from the part of the table he had locked his gaze on, and seemed determined to not look up from until he could leave, a classic tactic to be sure.

“Skipper, are you…al..right?” Kowalski asked, hesitantly. “I’m not talking just now, I’m talking in general. You’ve been acting really strange, lately.”

Although Private could handle these things on his own, the fact of the matter is, you don’t turn down good help. Kowalski was good help. Sure, his plan may have to be reformatted, but he’d play it by ear, like he always did.

“Has something happened? Your erratic behavior began almost three weeks ago, and it’s continued since then, with seemingly no cause behind it.”

“I’ve been handling it.”

“Oh yeah, sure. That’s been going real great.”

That got Skipper to lift an eyebrow in his direction, but his eyes remained cast down as he primarily focused on eating. He was almost done, and although Private hadn’t been able to dig a lot on his own, he’d take what he could get.

“Sir, you assaulted a member of team, with no justifiable reason behind it.” Skipper flinched at that, but kept his head down. His guilt was already well-known, so it felt more like picking at flesh wounds at that point. “That is the behavior of somebody not just unstable, but somebody unfit to lead.”

Private…hadn’t expected that. This seemed to be spiraling out of control far too quickly. This is definitely not how he plays the game.

“Kowalski-“

“Can it. Skipper, if you can’t get yourself together and be the leader you’re supposed to be, then I suppose we’re just going to have to find a new leader.”

Private was shocked. Horrified, even. Skipper had lifted his head at this point to glare at Kowalski in twain.

“You seem to forget I have the number to HQ, too. Acquiring yellow cake uranium in New York City is, uh, shockingly difficult, in case you were wondering.”

Private knew Kowalski was bluffing. The team needed Skipper, just as much as Skipper needed the team. Even if he was going on some more secret missions than usual, he always came back to the roost, not to mention that HQ wasn’t really fond of them in the first place. They were stuck with what they had, and what they had was each other. Kowalski was never going to call, and Private knew this. And if Private knew, then Skipper did too.

Not like it didn’t make it hurt any less.

Maybe it made it hurt worse.

Skipper stood up.

“Then HQ better be on my doorstep by morning with a new assignment waiting for me.” Skipper sneered, and walked away from the table to put away his plate.

“Oh, and I’m sure your new team will just, fall at your feet, that’s what you’re looking for, right? For people to be quiet and not question your judgement?”

“And I’m sure your new leader will be just fine with whatever Geneva Convention violating monsters you’re storing in the break fridge. Because that’s what you want, right? A leader that’ll hold you accountable?”

“I’m not even mad about that anymore!”

“I f-feel like I’m w-watching mom and d-dad go through a, through a divorce.” Rico whispered to Private as they watched the scene play out. Private, however, could only watch. He felt like he was learning more and more with each passing venomous jab that they passed back and forth.

Kowalski was clearly mad that Skipper hasn’t been taking the suggestions he’s been giving on how to get back in “tip-top shape,” as Private would say, and whether he was just trying to get Skipper to take better care of himself, or if he was just trying to figure out what caused him to be in such a state, and his methods hadn’t been working. Obviously. Skipper seemed like he was too tired to continue, but only continued to do so out of either pride, or just because it was something expected of him.

“For the last time, I am HANDLING it.”

“Oh, really? Is that what you’re doing?”

Skipper glared, but he seemed more disgusted than anything else.

“For the record, yes, I am actually DOING something, but, think what you want, I’m going to bed.” He said, leaving the kitchen. Private could tell that there was clearly more that he wanted to say, but without the place to be open about it, he wasn’t going to be.

There also clearly seemed to be more that Kowalski wanted to say, but where Skipper went hot, Kowalski went cool. Explosions always got more attention because they were bright and flashy and dynamic, but Kowalski looked ready to launch a new ice age, and a new ice age would bring with it cold, lingering death.

Still, in all of this, there was still a question to be had.

“You’re not…really going to call HQ, are you?”

Kowalski crossed his arms and leaned against the counter with a sigh.

“No.”

Private smiled, not especially brightly, but, gratefully. It was a resigned response, sure, one that if Kowalski had more energy would be followed up with a tirade, but, still, it meant the world to Private.

It wasn’t his greatest fear, that would be badgers, heights, leopard seals, and whatever was living in the trash can, but Private couldn’t deny that he possessed some sort of anxiety surrounding the idea that this little family of his would fall apart, and eventually, they’d be nothing more than strangers. Maybe because it was something so…true. The fact of the matter was, that this was a job. They went from never knowing each other to what they were now, after all, but if Skipper or Kowalski or Rico got a better deal, who’s to say that they wouldn’t take it? And if they didn’t get a better job, then wouldn’t this job just have to end at one point?

This worried him, as a passive anxiety that he never thought he’d have to consider, the same way that “what if space squids came to Earth and decided to steal Kowalski’s technology, and then conquer the planet?” or “what if I have to be the one to make a doctor’s appointment?” was a passive anxiety. The chances of these events happening were slim to nill, sure, but it could still happen.

Still, there was something to be asked.

“What do you think Skipper meant by “actually doing something?”

Rico shrugged, “p-probably hitting the b-bottle.”

“Mmm. Not likely.” Kowalski replied. “Skipper isn’t the type to be incapacitated by choice, unless under specific circumstances.”

“G-girlfriend? He did say doing some-“ Rico looked at Private when he said it, who did his best to look neutral, if not a little bored.

Kowalski grabbed Rico by his skull, and shook it around. A weird counter-measure to the traditional head slap, considering they were beginning to wonder if that was doing more harm than good. “No, no. Remember Kitka? He was a lovey-dovey mess over her for a week! There’s no way we wouldn’t know if he was dating someone.”

“B-Boyfriend?”

“Night terrors?”

“N-New nemesis?”

“New medication?”

Kowalski sighed. “Who’s to say? Whatever Skipper’s newest problem is, or what happened, we can only do so much if he’s so insistent on not telling us.”

Private was about to pipe up. “And only saying that he’s “taking care of it” is negligible at the best of times. Until Skipper’s knocking down my door for some super-charged xannies, I think the best thing I can do is stay out of it, and I recommend you two do the same.” Kowalski then left the kitchen. And then there were two.

It had been a very stressful evening.

Private looked at Rico. Rico looked at Private.

“J-Julien’s telling me w-we b-bought too much ice-cream l-lately.” Rico sighed, feigning some sort of casual gesture. “W-winky flavored and e-everything. It’d, well, it’d b-be a shame t-to go t-to waste.”

Private smiled at that.

“I’ll go grab some spoons.”

———

Ice cream with Rico and Julien and his gang obviously wasn’t going to solve things, but there was something fun about eating too much ice cream and watching Clueless in Julien’s room that seemed to make Private far, far less stressed than he was when he entered.

For all his crude jokes and lewd gestures, Rico could be a really good friend. He hid it pretty well, but he seemed to be remarkably perceptive.

It was just a good thing to remember.

And although Private could’ve spent all night watching cheesy 90s movies and braiding Julien’s hair, it was already half past midnight, and he was supposed to be up bright and early as always.

…Of course, given Skipper’s state as of late, what had once been an 8 AM wake-up had slipped into 9:30…and then 11:00…and then they kind of gave up on getting Skipper up at any time that they didn’t have to. Still, a healthy sleep schedule makes for a healthy mind, and a healthy body, and Private liked being healthy, despite the fact that he had just eaten half his weight in ice cream, so, he figured it was as good a time as any to go to bed.

…But it looked like he was not alone in roaming the halls tonight, as he turned the corner, he saw Skipper peek his head out of his room, look left, right, up, down, and then left again, before slipping out of his room, and beginning to walk carefully into their living room.

To pretend that Private ever had a choice NOT to follow him would be like saying that you had a choice not to open that secret door behind the bookshelf, or the choice not climb a mysteriously hidden spiral staircase up to the clouds. Once you know it’s there, it’s not like you can ignore it.

So Private, at a pace approximately an entire hallway away from Skipper, followed him. Both carefully making sure they didn’t step on where the floorboards may creak, and carefully side-stepping various messes, until Skipper made it to the living room.

He looked around once again, but seemingly missed Private’s face peeking out behind the doorframe, masked by the cover of darkness.

Skipper seemed to be aware of a presence THERE, but with no way to see it or prove it, he ignored it. He continued to the window in the living room, which was supposedly Marlene’s idea of a fire escape, despite the fact that there was no conventional staircase, and the platform you’d land on was three stories below them.

However, because there was never a fire they needed escaping that wasn’t started by them in the first place, they bought the place anyhow, and disregarded the blatant safety hazard.

Skipper, was obviously aware of this, as when he opened up the window, he walked away to attach a rope he was carrying to a weight-bearing beam, before walking back to the window, and beginning to scale the building.

Private walked quickly to the window, conflicted between staying hidden and knowing what’s going on, but found a way to peer out of the corner of the window without being seen.

Skipper seemed to have landed safely, and scaled down the fire escape from there, before ending up in an alley, and turning a sidewalk out of Private’s view.

He was leaving at night? Well, that sure managed to explain the supposed bouts of insomnia he’s been having as of late, but where? And why?

Where was he going at night? Was Rico right and he was going to go see a date, or at least a sex worker? Maybe that paranoia came from guilt of some kind. Was he living this whole other life as a nightclub singer or gardener or something? Was he doing drugs? Where was he going?

And why was he leaving at night?

Well, obviously he was leaving at night either because it was an activity that could only be done at night, OR it was something that he wanted to keep a secret, and felt was far too shameful to share.

But that doesn’t really narrow it down, no. It becomes more of a Venn-Diagram at certain points than anything else. He’s repressed up the wazoo, just more casual about it. Anything could be worth keeping a secret for him and for him alone if he was operating under that criteria.

Well, regardless. Private might as well go get his pajamas on, because he had a feeling he was going to have a long night ahead of him.

———

He was only a little wrong about that.

It was only two or three hours he had to wait, but that was two to three hours he had to wait sitting silently in the dark, only occasionally being able to pull out his phone to scroll through, before hearing a random noise in the middle of night, feeling his heart rate jump about 20 beats higher than it should’ve been, and turning off his phone as fast as possible so the light illumination it gave off wouldn’t give him away.

It was a long two or three hours, and a mildly stressful two or three hours, at that, let’s just say.

However, it seemed to him that his patience was rewarded when he heard the slightly distant sounds of Skipper climbing the rope back up to the apartment. It wouldn’t have mattered how quietly he was climbing, after so many hours spent stressing over the slightest of sounds, when he heard the slight scuffle of sneaker rubber against brick, he knew it was either Skipper or a burglar, and he was ready to confront both.

So, Private got into position, just a few moments before Skipper had grabbed the window pane and pulled himself inside. He untied the rope from the weight-supporting beam, pulled the rest of the rope inside, and then closed the window as quietly as possible. He stared at it a moment, and then let out a sigh of relief.

And then Private clicked the lamp on from where he was sitting in Rico’s recliner, and Skipper half jumped out of his skin.

“You’re home late.”

“Private, I-“ Skipper almost seemed happy to see him, but then something made him hold back. “It’s, uh, nice to see-“

“What are you doing? Sneaking out-sneaking out windows in the dead of night? Why? We have a front door.” Private had left the chair that he was sitting on, and began to pace in front of him. He should have rehearsed. “Wait. The more important thing is, where are you going?”

Private didn’t seem to particularly care if he got an answer or not at this point, especially considering that as Skipper stood there with his mouth gaping, looking like he was about to say something, Private grabbed the sides of his face with his forefinger and thumb and pulled him down to his level.

“And just who in the world split your lip? What? Are you doing a fight club now?” He muttered. Skipper hid his hands as discreetly as possible behind his back. Private squeezed his face once or twice before letting go.

“I want answers. REAL answers. Nobody believed you when you said you joined a bowling league last week, so I want REAL answers. Now.”

“…” Whatever Skipper was trying to explain, or trying to cover up, he really seemed to not have a story put together either way. It was either incredibly hard to explain, or he foolishly didn’t have a story put together in advance and just…EXPECTED to never get caught.

“…You give the best hugs?”

“WHAT?”

“And you’re always so optimistic. It helps my uh, team morale.”

Private let out a quite confused screech.

“And you’re really good at cooking. Your meals are practically restaurant caliber as is.”

Private looked as if a vein was going to pop out of his head, he was so furious. “…You are doing NOTHING to help your case if you think that you can just WANDER in here at deadass hours of the night and think you can just GET OUT OF IT by making me fall to your feet smitten-“

“-Not a big fan of that language from you, bud…”

“That’s it. I’m getting Kowalski.”

“Wait!” Skipper rose his voice slightly, maybe a few decibels too loud as he reached out to grab Private’s hand.

This was a gesture that surprised both of them, as Private turned around to hear him out and Skipper dropped the hand like it was a flaming hot crucible. Skipper seemed conflicted on where to put his hands until he stuck them firmly at his sides.

“I’m sorry.” He said. “For…Everything. For, just being kind of awful lately? I know it’s been…Rough, but I’ve…” He sighed.

“Take your time.” Private said, and Skipper looked almost grateful for it.

“I’ve been forced recently to take a long, hard look at myself, by somebody who knows me quite well…Almost too well. The knowledge, and simultaneously the idea that they have that knowledge has been taking a sort of…mental toll on me.”

Private took a seat, apparently ready to listen more.

“It’s, I don’t know, really. On some level, I want to take it out on them for being right, but I really can’t, so…I guess that’s fallen on you guys when it shouldn’t have, and I’m…really sorry about that.”

Skipper sat down as well, in front of Private.

“I really do mean it when I say I’ve been working on it, I just needed to find an…outlet.”

Private tilted his head. This was something to take in. He felt sort of vindicated for having a feeling that there was more going on, but it was still rather vague.

“What are you saying?”

“…I’ve picked up some…night classes…to help with my stress.”

“…What kind of night classes?”

“Oh, you know…baking.” He said hesitantly.

And that basically clinched it for him. Skipper’s thought process had perfectly revealed himself to him! After hearing something that hit too close to home, he endeavored to better himself, but was embarrassed by it! That sounded reasonable, and it was just like Skipper to do too.

“Don’t get that smug look on your face, if it doesn’t work out I’m picking up night archery.”

“Who? Me? Smug?”

Skipper laughed as he gave him a shove. He seemed a lot more relaxed than he did in a long time. It must’ve felt good to get that weight off his shoulder. Sure, taking cooking classes might not be a big deal for anybody else, but this was Skipper. Skipper was a weirdly hyper-masculine, private guy. For him to even get in a situation where he’d willingly tell Private something like this, it was a pretty big step.

“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell Kowalski or Rico.”

“Oh, no problem! If you want, I can pick out a recipe for you to bring in.”

“I was just about to ask for one, how serendipitous.”

Private couldn’t help but keep giggling, just from the relief of it all. It was a pretty tense scenario for quite a bit of time, and he couldn’t help but react in some way to the ease he was now feeling. Skipper got up and gave a stretch that was indicative that he was ready for bed, and couldn’t help but smile fondly as Private tried to catch his breath.

“You know, it’s funny. We, Kowalski, Rico, and I, were trying to figure out what was up. We thought it was anything and everything from a girlfriend to seeing a therapist that was putting you off so badly, who would’ve thought.”

“Ha ha, yeah.” Skipper said, as if Private couldn’t tell his hands were shaking.

“But wait,” Private said, in a sorta-fake moment of wonder. “Where did you get the split lip from then?”

Skipper panicked. “Why did you say that me giving you compliments would make you fall to my feet smitten?”

Private panicked more. “Good night!”

Okay, so maybe they were both working on this “open and honest” thing. So sue them. Baby steps or not, it was a step in the right direction. But, if Skipper’s secrets were as benign as that, then Private could take them any day, and he’d make sure he knew that. He hoped Skipper thought the same of him.

(Remember when 3K was considered long for me? Ha ha, anyhow, this is 5.5K words of nothing but dramatic irony. I really can’t believe that I went from writing short fluff pieces based on actual art to my own story arc about Skipper getting some FUCKING therapy.

Anyhow! Much more important things are afoot! I’m doing charity commissions, where all proceeds are going to bail funds across the country. If you like my writing, feel free to contact me at my Tumblr @cartoons-tothemoon, and we’ll work it out from there. $10 for 5K, or $2 for 1K. Of course, I don’t really know what to charge yet, but that can be negotiated! I’d really appreciate it if you commissioned me at this time, but my work on @drawbauchery’s is always going to be free. I hope you have a nice day!)

#cartoons-tothemoon #fics #pom #submission #can FINALLY post this #i'm sorry i always either have tablet problems or am sick when you send me a story #and it might be the most obvious thing ever but #i'm #once again #all over the skivate #private acting like mrs incredible 'i thought you'd be back by eleven'#and skipper the fearless leader FREAKING out because he's in trouble alskdnf #like i love the fact that being in trouble with his subordinates is so pressing #private canonically knows how to be intimidating when he's pissed so this just ticklesme #also small thing but i love how rico looks over at private when he talks about a girlfriend #he's somehow so considerate and inconsiderate at the same time #ko and skip's fight was really fun to read too #they're kind of in a power struggle #like toeing the line between family and business #it's really interesting #skipper's a dummy who's trying his best and i love him for it

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biggest-gaudiest-patronuses · 3 years ago

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So I (finally!) bought a pair of really good noise cancelling headphones, and it has changed my life! It's the fanciest thing I've bought in years, so to recoup some of the cost, I’ve researched & written a little essay based on my experiences with extreme noise sensitivity.

Hypersensitivity to sound is something I’ve dealt with all of my life, but I only recently found out it's medically known a Hyperacusis. (Please note this is a separate condition from Misophonia.) If you consistently struggle to cope with noise, the info below could be helpful! I’m including a link to my ko-fi, and I will be answering questions in the notes.

(skip to the bottom to read fun facts about my tax return and/or street organs vendettas!)

DISCLAIMER: I am not a professional, this is based solely on my experiences as a patient, and on what I have read and been told by professionals. Please notify me if you have corrections or concerns about accuracy!

BACKGROUND: Sensitivity to sound is a common type of sensory issue. While anyone can experience such issues (most people, for example, might be bothered by loud music in a crowded restaurant), some people are more sensitive than others, to the point it becomes a quality-of-life aka a medical issue.

If you consistently struggle with environmental stimuli that other people aren’t bothered by (background noises, bright lights, certain textures and tastes, etc), to the point it causes daily discomfort or limits the environments you can be in, I recommend reading about Sensory Processing Disorder.

SPD and sound sensitivity are both super common in autistic folks (like me!), but allistic (non-autistic) people can experience them too. Weep, ye prisoners of mortal coil, for none are safe, nothing sacred, not in this thy most accursed tomb of human flesh!

Anyway.

SOUND SENSITIVITY or HYPERACUSIS: Noise issues are particularly difficult to navigate in a world that is increasingly...noisy. The relatively new phenomenon of constant overhead music in restaurants, grocery stores, shopping malls etc—all of this means that public spaces are increasingly inaccessible to people with auditory issues.*

As a kid, nothing quite triggered sensory overload/meltdowns for me like the constant exposure to noise I couldn’t control—the background chatter of other kids in the lunchroom, the constant noise in public spaces, being trapped in the car with the radio on.... I had so many fights with my siblings about the car radio, and who got to choose the music.**

But it’s not just loud sounds that are the problem. As an adult who lives alone and works from home***, I’m lucky enough to be able to avoid loud environments most of the time. This does wonders for my general levels of anxiety and discomfort. But even in a mostly controlled environment, I still experience problems. Because part of sound sensitivity is that even normal or quiet sounds can feel loud and intrusive. Here are some “normal” sounds that can cause me discomfort (ranging from annoyance to outright pain, depending on the day):

refrigerator/AC/ceiling lights humming

dishwasher/washing machine noises

ceiling fan making that damn ceiling fan noise

faint sounds of traffic

riding in a car

other people having a normal conversation in the background

someone talking to me in a perfectly normal inside voice

Unfortunately, even in a “controlled” environment, many triggering noises can’t be controlled. And many parts of life can’t be lived in a controlled environment. This presents...some incredibly freaking annoying problems. Luckily there are solutions!

Sorta.

There are sorta some solutions.

They are imperfect, but they help.

TREATMENT: And now I have something rather shame-faced to admit. In all the years of managing my symptoms, it never once occurred to me to see a hearing specialist for my issues with sound. I wasn’t even aware that treatment options exist, because none of my other doctors mentioned it. Instead, I’ve spent years finding my own coping mechanisms and tools, with help from therapists and psychiatrists, but without ever consulting an audiologist/ENT. It was only while researching this post that I found out that was even an option, holy shit.

So it turns out I am going to be making an appointment with my local ENT practice. shit.

Apparently treatment options include sound/acoustic therapy, systematic desensitization/exposure therapy, cognitive behavior therapy, sound machines, and other options that I had no idea even existed, goddammit.

MANAGEMENT: In the meantime, here are my current coping mechanisms. I’ve relied rather heavily on hearing protection, which is very useful when used in moderation. Unfortunately, it can cause its own problems: it’s important not to overuse hearing protection, because in the long-term this can increase your sensitivity. So again: a useful tool, but be careful not to overdo it.

With that in mind, here are some of the coping strategies I’ve used over the last decade to manage my symptoms. This is not a perfect system and you should contact your local ENT clinic for better, long-term solutions, but in the meantime here are some tips I use to just get myself through the damn day:

Regularly spending time in a quiet controlled environment, to allow my nervous system to decompress.

Wearing earplugs, (I use two different grade, depending on the level of noise prevention I need), and always carrying an extra pair in case I need them unexpectedly. I bought a 50 pack for $7 and put spares in all my bags and jacket pockets.

(I mostly use Mack’s Ultra Soft, but there are so many types and materials and brands, including foam, silicone, wax, custom moldable etc. Even if you have trouble wearing things in your ears, you might be able to find something comfortable.)

Similarly: hearing protection earmuffs, the kind used in gun ranges and on construction sites. I bought mine online for $10. they look like normal wireless headphones, so I've never gotten comments when wearing mine in public (other than “cool heaphones” bc i added skull glitter stickers).

Sometimes I wear the earmuffs on top of earplugs, when life is just too damn LOUD.

Listening to music w/ earbuds or headphones is a great way to balance out background noises, especially if you can find soothing playlists that help you concentrate. Also useful to put in just one earbud when you need to pay attention in class/at work.

Pro tip: if your hair is long enough you can wear wireless earbuds without anyone knowing.

White noise, rain noises, ocean noises etc can be helpful! Some people like whale songs although personally this activates my primal fear response

Active noise cancelling headphones: the reason I wrote this post to begin with—I finally bought a pair! As in, a really good pair! As in, a depressingly expensive pair with noise cancelling technology that actually WORKS, holy shit. I probably need to wear them a little less at home (bc overprotection causes problems in the longterm) but they have absolutely transformed my ability to go out in public and i never ever want to take these suckers off again please take a power screwdriver and nail these to my head, bury me in the sweet sweet shroud of silence. holy canoli and cream puffs I want to marry form a civil partnership with these headphones. Plus they have a bunch of features, like being able to control the level of noise cancellation, so I can hold a conversation or be aware of some ambient noise for safety reasons.

Oh, and also they play music I guess?

Sorry sorry I promise this post wasn’t supposed to be me shilling for Big Electronics. I’m just excited, I’m an excited flabby little ball of expired flubber. ANC headphones aren’t a perfect solution, and I still sometimes wear earplugs underneath, and I will always be uncomfortable some of the time, but for me it’s been a big step.

Unfortunately the cost of good quality ANC technology means this isn’t an option for everyone, and the (much cheaper) gunshot protection earmuffs I mentioned earlier still provide an impressive amount of protection and bang-for-your buck (maybe even an equal amount of protection, if you can find ones that fit well). But if noise consistently prevents you from enjoying public space and life in general, and you’ve already tried earmuffs & earplugs and find they don’t offer enough comfort/convenience/protection, and if you’re in a position to save up for a one time non-necessity purchase of $150+, noise cancelling headphones are an option to be aware of. (Please always check the return policy so you can try before you buy. I ended up buying and returning 2 pairs before finding what worked best for me. And please look for a retailer that offers an extended warranty. You want those motherforkers to last).

There are cheaper options available, including some under $50. The ones I tried didn't work as well as my hearing protection earmuffs, but some people report good experiences, so that is something to consider. it's always good to know your options! Passive noise canceling is another affordable alternative.

Medication: A final tool in my toolbox, which for me personally has helped as much as every other method combined. Like, a lot, it’s helped a lot. It turns out some anti-anxiety medications can also help sensory issues. There’s not much research on this, and I only discovered it firsthand when a medication my doctor prescribed for anxiety ended up significantly helping my sensory issues. I no longer need medication for anxiety, but my psychiatrist still prescribes that same medication off-label for my sensory stuff. Ask your psychiatrist to research your options (they will probably have to do some digging to find relevant research, but you deserve to know all your options, even the obscure ones). Fyi, the medication I use is in the benzodiazepines class, but there are other options for those concerned about dependency or side effects.

(I'm also told anti-anxiety supplements may be helpful, though I haven't tried this yet. If you're on prescription meds, always talk to your doctor about contraindications before taking anything over-the-counter.)

So there you have it, my main coping strategies for sound sensitivity! They are not a replacement for medical treatment (except that last one which is in fact...medical treatment), but I find them helpful and I hope some of you will too! I’ve struggled for a long time, and I’m very pleased to have reached the point where I can just do things in public. Eating out in loud restaurants? I can do that now, and even enjoy it, holy shit! I can comfortably travel in cars for hours at a time, and walk around shopping malls and grocery stores with overhead music, and, and —and just exist. It is so so freeing, to feel like maybe, after everything, you are actually allowed to just exist in a world that wasn’t really designed for you.

Again, be careful not to overuse hearing protection—the goal is to allow you to be less uncomfortable and to function better, but if you find you are becoming more sensitive to noise, it is time to dial it back a notch. Or maybe consider listening to music (at a reasonable volume) to block out background noise instead.

*(This also includes people with hearing loss and related issues, btw. While that’s not my area of knowledge, I would welcome it if any of my HoH followers want to share their experiences.)

**A sign of sensory issues that parents often miss is when a child complains about music being too loud—but has no problem listening to their own music at high volume. This is because music that is already familiar to the listener (and that the listener enjoys) is much easier for the brain to process, since it knows what pattern of sounds to expect. Loud music that they get to control can be soothing for people with sound issues, especially when it blocks out background noise and sensations. This is why repetitively playing the same songs can be a helpful form of stimming.

***(working on this blog, actually. since it’s my only source of income, my 2020 income tax return literally lists my occupation as ‘Tumblr Blogger.’ Oddly, my parent didn’t feel this achievement was worth including in the holiday family newsletter.)

bonus fun fact: Charles Babbage aka “father of the computer” may have been autistic and hypersensitive to sound. He definitely had a huge problem with public noise pollution, and spent his later year waging a war on street musicians (and organ grinders in particular).

(bc like, yeah. screw organ grinders.)

Sometimes when I’m out in public and the overhead music is particularly unbearable, I’ll take a moment to look up to the sky and scream out: “HE TRIED TO WARN US! THE FATHER OF COMPUTERS TRIED TO WARN US!!! we should have listened, sweet heaven we should have listened!”

except i don’t scream it, i say it very quietly under my breath

(i have issues with noise)

so yeah that is my short essay. and here is the ko-fi goal

k ciao i gotta go pick out glitter stickers for my headphones

#actuallyautistic #not a shitpost #holy shit how did i spend 3 hours writing this what even is my blog #this blog is supposed to be blue whale anxiety and uncomfortably sexy clown jokes #what am i doing #sensory processing disorder #sensory issues #mental health #actually autistic #NOTIFY ME OF ANY TYPOS #i proofread this 5 times my eyes weep an unceasing flood of blood and regret #adhd #actuallyadhd #autism #sensory problems

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shurisneakers · 4 years ago

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harmless (v)

Summary: Bucky volunteers to go stop a small time villain, but nothing can prepare him for what exactly he has to deal with. (Bucky x villain!reader, drabble series)

Warnings: cursing, ghosts, frustrated bucky, dramatic reader, rats

Word count: 2.3k

A/N: why did i like this chapter sm someone explain. anyway!! y’all are so passionate about these two i love it mwah

if you have any ideas for future inventions/evil plans, lemme know! i might actually end up using them

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333

Previous Part || Series Masterlist

He dislikes the subway.

Other than his other valid reason to have disdain for trains, the subway is dark, it’s shady and he’s sure he’s seen rodents fight to the death here on several occasions.

Still, he’s following you down the stairs of the station, watching as you whistle along to the song blasting through your headphones. There’s a backpack swung over your shoulders, hands stuffed into the pocket of your hoodie and converse doing a skip every now and then. There’s a bandana that’s tied across your face, acting as a mask to hide your identity.

He realises that you’re dressed like a commuter. Were you going to dress the part every single time?

You walk along with the crowd. He follows, a few feet away.

Until you stop. He abruptly stops too, leading someone to walk right into him.

“Watch it, dumbass,” they hiss with the courage of someone who has no idea who he is. He ignores them.

He looks on as you dig around your backpack and pull out a roll of paper. A poster, he realises soon when you peel off a layer from the back and press it to the wall.

Was it legal to put up posters in the subway? He wasn’t quite sure.

He observes as you turn around and continue down the path. He waits a few seconds before trailing up to the poster.

Volunteers needed!

If you’re interested in being turned into a ghost for a couple of hours, this is your chance! Should be okay with being on camera so that we can make money off of taped paranormal sightings.

Paid opportunity. You get to pick your outfit. Randos don’t apply.

He yanks the poster of the wall before continuing down the same place you did.

He finds another poster along the way. He doesn’t hesitate in pulling it down. You were advocating to kill people.

He knows he’s going in the right direction because more posters creep up along the wall.

The both of you are on the platform by now but to him, something changes about the placement of the posters. They were growing in frequency, the distance between them decreasing as they were situated close to each other.

He pauses in front of the next one, hand hovering over the paper.

All it reads is ‘STOP’.

He furrows his eyebrow, pulling it down before peering over at the next one.

‘TAKING’, is all that it says.

It doesn’t take him very long to make his way through all the posters in the hallway.

‘THESE’

‘DOWN’

The train’s arrived by now but a quick scan over the crowd and he knows that you haven’t entered. That, and he knew that you were too dramatic to leave without a trace or a small conversation with him.

‘DICKHEAD’

Tasteful, he thinks.

“It took effort to make them, stop ruining it,” you whine from the end of the hallway. It’s empty, given that rush hour was over a while ago.

Even though the mask covers half your face, it’s obvious that there is mischief etched under it. The twinkle in your eye is telling.

“You’re literally killing people.” He holds up the poster. Not the ‘dickhead’ one. He pockets that for later.

He knows there are a few minutes before the next train arrives and more people flood the station. The eccentricity of today lay in the lighting from the incandescent lamps and acoustics of the platform. It made his voice echo like a movie scene.

“I very much am not,” you huff.

“You’re turning them into ghosts. That’s what a murderer does,” he says pointedly.

“Well, only if you keep saying it like that. You’re making me look bad.” You cross your arms across your chest. “What are you, Fox News?”

A scurry next to him earns his attention. Two rats nibble at a piece of fallen food. He wonders when they’ll starting brawling.

“Explain this.” He waves the poster around. He isn’t taking it too lightly he hopes. If it’s actual murder then it’s going to be an issue.

You pull out a black cylinder, slightly bigger than a pen. He can’t really see any more details, but you hold onto it like a wand.

“I’m turning them into ghosts. I’ll post videos of them doing stupid shit. I get famous and then boom, cash money.” You rub your index finger and thumb together. “I’ll give you a share if you volunteer.”

“You’re not explaining the death part.”

He can feel it. You’re about to start derailing.

“Winter Soldier, the ghost story. Literally.” You grin, yanking down the mask from your face to prove it. It pools around your neck. “That’s so funny, c’mon, it’d be amazing.”

It’s been years since he’s heard that. Never in this context.

“No,” he says sternly, “and I’m going to have to bring you in if you’re going to kill people.”

The rats were ignoring everything that was going down like the hardened criminals that they were. They had probably seen worse. He can’t stop paying attention to them.

“I’m not killing them, bro.” You raise your hands in exclamation. “I’m just moving some molecules around, some frequency shit. They’re alive, just ghosts.”

He’s always been one for science. Straight As throughout high school, attended science conventions as a hobby, alive even at 100 through some mad experimentation, definitely seen some weird shit during his lifetime.

But this doesn’t make sense.

“No,” he repeats. “Give me the thing.”

“Fine, I’ll show you.” You roll your eyes. “Since you have absolutely no faith in me.”

He does a quick review of his surroundings.

No one’s around, which is good.

But that just leaves him in front of you, which is bad.

“Don’t you even thin-” he starts, muscles tensing as he shifts into a defensive stance.

You whip out the little pen thing from beside you but before he can react you turn around and duck.

The click of a button releases a bright light, small but intensely stronger than the fluorescents in the station.

He reels back, feet carrying him away from where you’re crouched. His eyes quickly look down at his body.

Nothing’s changed.

He lifts his hand to check, runs it over his face. Still alive. He thinks.

“Behold,” you declare, “Ghost rat.”

He looks to where you’re pointing. The two rats from earlier were still nibbling on their food but something was off about them.

He could see the faint outline of the tiles on the wall behind them, almost like they were... translucent.

You aimed at the rats, not him. He doesn’t know whether to feel relieved or annoyed at the fake threat.

He watches as they move. They don’t look hurt or injured.

“Cool, huh?” you say smugly.

He can’t stop staring at them.

“Bring them back.”

“They’re fine, look how abstract it is.”

“Bring back the rats.” He can’t believe this is what his life has come to.

Bucky Barnes, Rodent Protector.

You aren’t fazed by his indifference, instead wonder filled eyes gaze at the animals. “Astral mice, sarge. Embrace the miracle of modern science.”

“You killed them.”

“They’re alive, they’re just ghosts.” You raise a finger to point. “Look, they’re still eating. Biological functions are still taking place.”

Which was true. But still. He doesn’t know what is going on.

“Bring them back to... non-ghost alive.”

“You sure you don’t want one? That one kinda looks like you.” One hardened glare after you realise the answer. “Jeez, alright then.”

You dig through your bag before pulling out a matte black replica of your current invention.

“Sexy colours, right?” You hold them up. “I modelled them after your arm.”

He looks down. Sure enough the gold and black matched his cybernetic limb. It was oddly flattering.

“Say thank you, Y/N, for letting me be your muse-”

“Un-ghost the rats.”

“Ungrateful,” you narrow your eyes at him.

Still, you comply with his demands, ducking down to their level again.

A click of the button, a bright light and the rats are back to normal. Non-transparent normal.

“Okay, give me that.” He takes a step towards you.

“Nuh uh.” You pull your arm back. His mouth twitches at your response; what are you, five?

The black one is stuffed back into your bag but you wave around the gold like a threat.

He sighs, making a pass for it. In a second his arm is twisted and shoved against his back, forcing him to spin so that he’s facing away from you. His eyes widen.

What the fuck?

“Now we’re having a good time,” you whisper into this ear.

He swiftly turns around, grabbing your wrist to rotate his own out of your grip.

“Since when can you fight?” he asks.

“Are we getting to know each other now?” You raise your leg to give him a semi gentle kick in the side, using his momentary distraction in blocking it to give him a knock on the head with your free hand. “This is so romantic, sarge.”

There’s a low rumble in the distance and he knows the train would soon start pulling into the station. It was still a distance away, but his heightened senses warned him that it wouldn’t take much time.

He groans. How much longer would he have to go at this?

He could easily win this fight and he knew it. But something in him itched, pulled him back from doing it.

He blocks another attempt at his head. “Stop that.”

You grin. “You know what’d be fun?”

He knows you’d reply even if he didn’t encourage it. The lights from the train light up the tunnel around the corner.

“This.” You don’t give him a second to recover before you flick your wrist away from him.

The device flies out of your hand and right onto the track. The both of you watch, you in glee, he in horror, as the train runs right over it, unleashing the brightest light he had ever seen. His eyes shut instinctively before it blinds him.

He forces himself to pry open his eyelids, look at the damage caused.

The train, sure enough, is translucent. He can see the posters on the other side of the platform through the carriage, through various people holding onto the poles for support or seated on the seats.

“Ghost train!” you cheer. He’s mortified.

“Fuck no,” he mumbles, yanking the backpack off your shoulder. He rummages through it, looking for the gold version.

“You lookin’ for this?” you ask nonchalantly, holding it up in your hand like it isn’t the solution to stopping a bunch of ghosts from wandering around New York.

“Turn them back.” He gives you a chance.

“Do it yourself, coward.” You grin, holding it above your head. The train is going to stop and he needs everyone to be alive and non-ghost before they leave.

He doesn’t wait this time, instead turning to you. The thing is still held in your grip above your head. He rolls his eyes, doing a quick assessment before grabbing your free hand, tugging you closer and plucking the device out of your hand before you have the opportunity to retract it.

“Great, now figure out which button to press.” You’re dangerously close to him. He can feel your hoodie brush against his tactical jacket. “Also if you wanted to be all pressed up against me, you could have just asked.”

He furrows his eyebrows, letting go of you as you give a loud laugh. He looks down at the device. It has several buttons, littering up and down the side. Each look the same.

The train’s slowing down.

“They’re both the same device; this version is not a magical solution to the other one. If you press the wrong button then both of us are going to be fucked.”

The last carriage is getting closer.

“Say I win this round and I’ll fix it.”

There’s a gleam in your eye. He knew this was exactly what you wanted.

He wishes he was as stubborn as Steve, just run through each button until the right one worked.

“You win this one.” He hands it back. He wasn’t like Steve and judging by the number of items the idiot jumped out of planes without a parachute on a daily basis, Bucky was glad about it. At least Bucky did it sporadically.

“Yay, two each for the both of us, then,” you say, taking it from him and twisting, eyes running down the sides. “Close your eyes, old man, or else your cataract’s gonna get worse.”

Right as the train pulls to a stop, you press down on the button before throwing it and the blinding light that emanates from it. It lands on the top of the train right as the doors open.

The passengers start stepping out. Some of them are looking at their hands and legs in a little disbelief, most just push through the crowd to leave.

He can’t see through them. It’s a good sign.

He turns to look at you but you’re not there. Instead, the weight of the small device weighs down in his pocket.

The sound of a thud on glass draws his attention.

He looks up at the train. The window of the carriage in front of him has a bit of fog on it. You trace a heart in the condensation and blow him a kiss before pulling your mask back on.

The train starts moving, leaving him alone in the platform again with your invention.

He lets out an exhale, wandering outside to grab a sandwich before waiting to catch the next train to go home.

Later in the evening, he catches hold of a bit of tape and the ‘Dickhead’ poster finds a place on Sam’s door.

He doesn’t appreciate it.

So now it’s tucked away in the shelf of Bucky’s bedside table along with a freeze ray, a ghost-inator, and some discount Pym Particles.

Next part

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #mcu fic #bucky fic #bucky barnes fic #bucky fluff #bucky barnes fluff #bucky angst #bucky barnes angst #harmless fic #winter soldier x reader #Winter Soldier #bucky barnes #bucky

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dialovers-translations · 4 years ago

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DIABOLIK LOVERS Do-S Kyuuketsu VERSUS Ⅱ Vol.6 Yuma VS Azusa [TRACK 2]

Original title: 欠ける月を見ながら

Source: Diabolik Lovers VERSUS II Vol. 6 Yuma VS Azusa [CD not owned by me]

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Tatsuhisa Suzuki & Kishio Daisuke

Translator’s note: I have no words. I swear the last few minutes of this track are just Rejet having way too much fun. You cannot convince me that they wrote that without knowing that it could EASILY be taken the wrong way. I mean, the whole situation isn’t exactly ‘innocent’ either way but it sounds even more dirty than it is. I’m not gonna try and hide either ーー my mind went straight to the gutter as soon as Yuma suggested she uses her hands instead of her mouth. If you’re curious what I’m talking about, you’ll have to read the translation. ;)

Track 1 ll Track 2 ll Track 3 ll Track 4 ll Track 5 ll Track 6

→ LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

Track 2: While Gazing at the Chipped Moon

Yuma: For a basement, it’s brighter in here than I thought. Is there a window on the ceiling or somethin’?

You follow suit.

Yuma: Ah? What’s wrong? ...Ahー Ya pissin’ yer pants? ...I don’t mind. Come here.

Yuma hugs you close.

*Rustle*

Yuma: Just stay close to me, ‘kay? ...Take a look! Right above ya! There’s a big hole to look through! ...Aah, seems like this basement is right underneath the garden.

You look up.

Yuma: They’re a bunch of dried up branches layin’ ‘round the edges of the garden. I had no idea this kinda room was underneath it. I’m surprised.

*Rustle*

Yuma: ...Well, I guess it helps brighten up this place a lil’ without any lights ‘round, so I don’t see a problem with it.

Something catches his attention.

Yuma: ...Oh?

You ask what is wrong.

Yuma: No, it’s just...Ya can see the moon through that hole, right? Take a closer look. It’s slowly bein’ chipped away at. ...What was it called again? A lunar eclipse? Ya don’t see that every day. It’s my first time seein’ one.

You agree.

Yuma: You too? Hm...I see. Well, I guess we got lucky. It’s a rare sight after all. Too bad it’s from inside this creepy room.

You tilt your head to the side.

Yuma: This room just screams ‘creepy’, no? Ya still haven’t noticed? What kind of room this is, I mean. Take a good look around.

You look around.

Yuma: There’s a bunch of strange devices, right? Ya better don’t try and act like ya don’t know what these are.

You reluctantly answer.

Yuma: Exactly...Hehehe...Seems like this was the pentalty room. In other words, the items lined up here and there are what you’d call torture devices

*Cling cling*

Yuma: Take a look at these handcuffs. It’s still got blood on there. Means these bad boys got used at some point. Seems like the previous owner of this manor was a shitbag who loved pickin’ on the weak.

*Cling*

Yuma: There’s freaks like that crawlin’ ‘round the surface of this earth, ya see...They either get a kick out of tormentin’ others, or enjoy gettin’ teased themselves. ...Ah, right. Ya love that sorta stuff as well, no? Hehehe...

You quickly deny.

*Cling cling*

Yuma: Now that we discovered this hidden gem, it’d be a shame not to use the room to its fullest potential, right? ーー To start things off.

*Cling*

Yuma: I’ll put these handcuffs on ya like this. Hehe...

You protest.

Yuma: How does it feel to get robbed of yer freedom?

You beg him to take them off again.

Yuma: Ah...Lemme think. If ya want me to remove them that badly, don’t ya think ya should adjust yer attitude a lil’?

*Rustle rustle*

Yuma: Come on...Tell me what to do. Woah there, don’t look away. I’ve taken away yer freedom, so ya better keep yer eyes on me.

*Rustle*

Yuma: Exactly. Hehe...Nice expression. Bet ya didn’t think I’d do this, right? ...For some reason, I’m in a weird mood right now. Could that moon be to blame? I feel restless...in a different way from usual. I don’t really get it, but it has taken control over me, and I can’t help but have this strong cravin’ for...you. Mmh...”

Yuma kisses you passionately.

Yuma: I want to make you cry, make you submit to me...and have you admit the most obscene things. Mmh...

*Smooch*

Yuma: Hm? ...Hah. Judgin’ by yer face, ya just felt yer heart skip a beat, didn’t ya? Bet ya don’t find this all too bad, huh? Fine by me. I’ll do as ya wish. Come on, brace yerself.

*Rustle*

Yuma: What do ya want? Should I just leave some kisses here and there? Like this...Mmh...

*Smooch*

You flinch.

Yuma: Or do ya prefer the pain? Ya want these fangs, don’t ya? Haha...Don’t try and hide it. I know that you’re yearnin’ for them. However, I won’t give them to ya ーー not this easily at least. That’d be borin’ as hell, right? We’ve got this convenient room to our disposal after all...

*Cling cling*

Yuma: Makes ya wanna try and push yer boundaries a lil’, no? Hehe...Let’s leave the main course for last and enjoy some stuff we usually never get to do. Nn...

*Rustle*

Yuma: This is a whip, right? No doubt in mind that guy used this to torment those poor little lambs. ...Didn’t I tell ya earlier, there’s people who need that sorta kick. Perhaps I’m one of them as well? When I picture your expression as you fight back the pain...It sends shivers down my spine.

*Rustle*

Yuma: Ahn? I’m not actin’ like myself? Ya think so? Hah. Then this room and the moon might be messin’ with my head. I shouldn’t be interested in lil’ games enjoyed by those disgustin’ noblemen. If anythin’, they used to make me gag...So I wonder why I’m havin’ so much fun right now? ...Could this be my true colors showin’...?

*SMACK*

Yuma: Heh. This bad boy makes quite the sound. ...Wait, what am I doin’? ...Aah, my bad. I felt a lil’ dizzy just now...There really is somethin’ wrong with me, huh? Ugh...

*Rustle*

Yuma: I...

You seem worried.

Yuma: Hah. ...Haha. Just kidding~

You get upset.

Yuma: Ah? I was jokin’ just now. I wanted to see what kind of face you’d make, and just couldn’t help myself.

You protest.

Yuma: It looked convincin’? Don’t be fuckin’ kiddin’ me. I’m not the type of dude who would torment the weak, geez. Ya can’t even tell the difference between the truth and an act? Ya really are an idiot.

*Cling cling*

Yuma: There we go...Oi, lift yer hands a lil’ higher. I’m gonna remove the handcuffs.

You obey.

Yuma: Ahー The hole’s over here, right? ...’Kay. ...Huh?

*Cling cling*

Yuma: Ahn? ...That’s odd...I’m pretty sure this key...Ugh...Ah!

*Clunk*

Yuma: Ah...Fuck! It broke!

You make a fuss.

Yuma: Ah, hold on! Do ya really need to get that upset!? ...Hey! Don’t hit me!

*Thud thud*

Yuma: ...Calm down!! I can just chop off yer wrists and problem solvーー

You continue protesting.

Yuma: ...I’m just kiddin’! Geez...I’m sure we’ll find a solution if we head upstairs. ...God, yer wrists are bleedin’. It’s ‘cause ya kept on movin’ ‘round. Does it hurt?

You nod.

Yuma: Guess I have no other choice. I’ll apply first aid.

Yuma licks the wound.

Yuma: There. Lil’ better now? ...Let’s say we’re even now, ‘kay?

You puff out your cheeks.

Yuma: Don’t hold it ‘gainst me. I was just curious how it’d feel to step out of my comfort zone for once. Don’t ya ever get that itch to try somethin’ new as well? ...More importantly, drinkin’ yer blood made me thirsty.

*Sluuuurp*

Yuma: After all, you’re like a delicious treat. Just a lil’ taste isn’t enough to satisfy us. ...Ah, yer blood really is nice. ...Say? Won’t ya let me feed off ya now that you’re stuck like this anyway? Ya don’t mind, do ya?

You hesitate.

Yuma: Ahー What a pain.I’ll take that silence as a yes. I’m not the most patient fella ‘round.

*Rustle*

Yuma: Now behave. I won’t hurt ya.

Yuma bites you.

*Sluuuuurp*

Yuma: Mmh...Delicious...I can’t stop...

*Rustle*

Yuma: ...Gimme more...I’ll suck from this hand next. Mmh...

*Sluuuuurp*

Yuma: Mmh...Nn...

*Sluuuuurp*

Yuma: ...Haahー This is bad...I really went to town on ya, huh...Did it hurt? Or maybe it feels good?

You whimper softly.

Yuma: Hehe...I wonder if it’s ‘cause ya had yer blood sucked while being handcuffed, but ya look as if ya enjoyed it way more than usual.

You seem embarrassed.

Yuma: No need to be ashamed. ...It’s too late for that. I’ve been showin’ ya my pathetic side as well, no? When I see yer blood...or get a wiff of it...I get so turned on, I lose sight of myself. However...

*Rustle*

Yuma: That blood of yers...

He sniffs it.

Yuma: Hmmー How strange, it doesn’t smell as strong as usually...Now that ya mention it, I feel as if it tastes different as well? The fuck’s goin’ on? ...Oi, Sow. Stop spacin’ out and look at me, come on!

He forces your face his way.

Yuma: ...Do ya notice anythin’ off ‘bout me?

You shake your head.

Yuma: Right? But ya know, something’s not right. ...Oi, inspect my body. I’m sure there’s somethin’ wrong with it.

You seem baffled.

Yuma: This time I’m serious. I’m not just teasin’ ya. Come on, hurry up.

You protest.

Yuma: Ahn? Ya can’t use yer hands? ...Well, I guess that’s true. But even without yer hands, you’ve got somethin’ else that’ll work just fine as a replacement, right?

You tilt your head to the side.

Yuma: Whatcha so confused ‘bout? I’m obviously talkin’ ‘bout that mouth of yers.

You seem surprised.

Yuma: Check my body thoroughly with those lips. ーー Oh come on, didn’t I tell you just now? I’m bein’ serious. 100% sincere. So, where ya wanna start? With my neck, perhaps?

*Rustle*

Yuma: Yeah, just start from there and take it nice and slow...What’s wrong? Are ya holdin’ back? ...Ya can be a little more rough, ya know?

*Rustle rustle*

Yuma: Ah...Your lips are so soft...Nn...It’s almost like someone is trailing a feather across a skin...Ah...

You sigh.

Yuma: Hah? Ya won’t be able to tell this way? You’re always so quick to decide without givin’ it a try, huh? How dull. Come on, get on with it already.

*Cling*

Yuma: Nn...Yeah, just like that...See? Ya can do it after all...Or are ya growin’ desperate now? Hahaha...Ya suddenly...picked up the pace...Nn...It tickles. Is this you’re way of takin’ revenge? ...Oh well, whatever.

You continue trailing your lips across his skin.

Yuma: Yeah, just keep goin’ like that...Nn...Carefully slide your lips across...Hah...Nn...Feels good...

*Rustle*

You ask if he’s doing this to tease you again.

Yuma: Hahaha...Guess I’m busted, huh?

*SMACK*

Yuma: ...Ow!! Did ya really need to hit me!? I was just havin’ some fun! For one, we wouldn’t need doctors if we could simply find out what’s wrong with someone’s body this way.

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #yuma mukami #azusa mukami #diabolik lovers versus II #diabolik lovers translation #diabolik lovers drama cd #drama cd

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katsucutie · 4 years ago

Text

i hate your guts (m)

pairing: bakugou katsuki x reader genre: smut, humor warnings: smut, swearing (you know the good stuff) overview: class 1-a has this belief that you and katsuki hate each other, though one incident has their minds changed word count: 4.2k author’s note: this was written to fight my writer’s block and i happened to find a psycho-analysis of katsuki which helped somewhat and its quite interesting. anyways...the song choice while writing this was house of cards, also this was written in three days and i tried using any relevant medical terms i’ve learned so far in uni. hope you enjoy!! masterlist | ko-fi

Walking through the azure-rimmed gate you knew the day would be the same. Homeroom for ten minutes then classes back to back with a minor minute break in between, next an oh-so-needed fifty-minute lunch, and finally two classes to end the day. Not that you could complain, heroes in training must earn some type of education.

Though school wasn’t the worst thing invented, you can definitely say occasions in English class were not lackluster with Present Mic as the teacher. Or in math, when Midoriya yells out an inaccurate answer only to be corrected by Yaoyorozu. It's the little moments that bring laughter, or maybe it’s watching someone embarrass themselves in front of a class that's joyful.

And you could never forget the times where Jirou teased Kaminari for short-circuiting.

While all those moments are fun and dandy, 1-A can also be quite the chatterboxes and gossipy, especially when it comes to your feelings towards Bakugou. Believing that your relationship consists of mutual hatred, class 1-A constantly manages to tease both you and the blonde-headed male. Even All-Might manages to separate the two of you during training.

Although you never said anything against the rumors, it's quite humorous to see a school be so wrong in their thoughts. Is it not obvious that the glares the two of you send are not out of anger but endearment? Clearly not to Todoroki who claimed that Midoriya was All-Might’s secret love child, but that's beside the point. Additionally, you’ve yet to hear an accurate hypothesis as to why you and Bakugou would hate each other. Many of the theories revolve around Bakugou’s ‘anger problems’ but honestly, who doesn’t get mad?

Nonetheless, the rumors surrounding your alleged detestation toward the blonde sparked a little prank between you two. Pretending to hate each other until people catch on that you’re dating.

And the joke has been going on for quite a while, four months to be exact. Four months of pretending to hate in front of crowds, yet loving behind closed doors. Four months of experiencing the rush of adrenaline when you sneak around to his dorm room in the late hours of the night. Four months of leaving your friend groups to hang out during lunch.

Four months of waking up early to walk to class with Bakugou. And don’t forget about four months of the blonde-headed male constantly breaking you away from your thoughts.

“Oi Y/n, break out of that daze and let’s go, we have thirty-minutes before class and I’d like to spend that time not pretending to hate you” Bakugou calls while molding his fingers into yours.

“Oh please, I’m not pretending you know I hate your guts” You smile, leaning into the broad male walking towards homeroom. “Do you think today will be the same?”

“Yes, those idiots could watch us kiss and still think we hate each other, though I can’t complain, their oblivion is better than if they were to pester us about our relationship” he snarks.

Mindlessly nodding in agreement, you and Bakugou wander through the purple-stained floors of U.A., passing by random classrooms, and peering out the glass windows that overlook the campus.

After twenty-five minutes of strolling through the halls, Bakugou and you turn down the corridor leading to class 1-A, while unlocking hands and prepping for your fake and falsely-interpreted loathing glares.

“Today marks day ninety-six of the class believing we hate each other” you whisper.

“They’re hopeless….”

“But if at any point, you want to stop pretending let me know… I wouldn’t mind, jokes are funny but you’re my top priority”

“Is Bakugou Katsuki getting soft on me?”

“No.. shut up-”

“And they're back at it again Ladies and Gentlemen… the feud between Y/n and Bakugou seems everlasting” Kaminari calls sliding open the tall door leading to class 1-A. Way to ruin a cute moment.

“Honestly the two would probably be best friends if they didn’t hate each other, they both like the same things” Oh they wouldn’t believe the interests you two share.

“Yeah, but their personalities are so different, they’re just not meant to be and that’s fine” What a shock your relationship would be then.

“I’m so glad that you’re interested in my ‘relationship’ with Lord Explosion Murder… but I have more important matters to attend to such as earning my education so that I can be a top pro-hero” you remark sliding into your chair. Your comments are never intended to insult your boyfriend, but teasing his choice of a hero name couldn’t hurt anyone.

Waiting for the remaining two minutes for class to start, you check your phone and see a message notification from a familiar contact.

Babe 💗: storage room during lunch?

Quicker than your mind made a decision, your fingers don’t hesitate to press the send button.

You: i’ll bring the key

----------

Bakugou was a master of three things. Okay maybe more than three, but three traits excel. His talent, his mind, and his ability to use his fingers.

Bakugou’s talent is tremendous and has been able to advance his goals of becoming a pro-hero. He acknowledges that he was born with such an extraordinary quirk, and has a flair for using it. Notwithstanding the male’s breakdown and internal belief that he is inferior to his pre-quirkless childhood friend, Bakugou unceasingly exerts himself to be more than a student with talent.

His mind is magnificent and allowed Bakugou to comprehend multiple topics of interest. Placing third in the class’ midterm exam, it’s evident that he shines in academic settings. And though few peers in 1-A state that Bakugou fails in the social aspect, you claim the opposite. In their eyes Bakugou is brash, however, after spending time with the boy, you have viewed him as self-reflecting, with social skills that others cannot see.

While brains and talent may all be magnificent qualities of the blonde, nothing beats Bakugou’s ability to use his fingers. Combined with both his talent and his mind, Bakugou has the ability to make both inanimate and living things explode. And that isn’t related to his quirk.

“You’re imagining events that haven’t occurred yet. Am I truly that talented?”

Flushed and blinking in a shocked manner towards the male in front of you, you ask him if his quirk was mind-reading.

“Hmmm… No, but after seeing you so embarrassed I’d love to have such a quirk so that I’d be able to view the thoughts inside that mind of yours, but I was gifted with explosions... You, on the other hand, were blessed with the ability to swap items on your command. A quirk so useful, especially in times like these when I don’t have a key to the storage room”

“Oh please, just admit that you use me to gain entrance into forbidden rooms” You tease, giving Bakugou the janitor’s key to unlock the storage room.

The male chuckles unlocking the door to the storage closet, “Maybe a bit, though you reap the benefits of getting it” Change of thought, maybe he is brash.

Shutting the door behind you two, you finally express your raw emotions towards your boyfriend, engulfing him in a hug.

“I missed you”

“You came over my dorm last night” What an ass, couldn’t he just accept your affection?

“Yeah, but you go to sleep at like eight-thirty, which means I have to leave you dorm before then, and then I’m stuck in my dorm with nobody to talk to until I go to sleep at midnight, that’s about three and a half hours being alone”

“You’re so clingy… it's cute”

“Is there anything else I can do to make you feel less lonely since I go to sleep at like eight-thirty and leave you alone’”

Bashfully looking down at the floor rather than your boyfriend, you mumble your request.

Releasing the hug, Bakugou smirks, poking fun at your diffidence, “With that ask, I don't think you can be shy… Are you sure that's what you truly want?”

Nodding your head you look up to the red-eyed male, taking in his dilated pupils. It's always been him that you’ve desired.

Accepting your form of consent, Bakugou kisses you, enveloping your figure while you sneak your hands around his neck to deepen the embrace. And although the two of you are in a storage closet skipping out on lunch, the feeling of epinephrine dispersing within your bloodstream, inducing fast heart rates, is blissful. A salacious rendezvous with the man you’ve come to love could never hurt anyone… as long as they didn't find out.

And if one were to catch you two, would they truly stop two aroused students halfway from committing adultery? Would a teacher not be embarrassed if he/she watched as Bakugou hurriedly zips down your green skirt in order to slide his fingers inside of your warmth? Or would someone scamper along hearing the lewd mewls arising from your throat?

“You’re so loud Princess, we have to keep it down or else someone will hear us, okay?”

Yet the person to blame for such noises was Bakugou himself. One could imagine the boy having rough, unmoisturized hands from his explosive quirk, but his inheritance of glycerin allows him to easily travel in and out of you.

“You’re close aren’t you? I can tell. Your walls are contracting at a faster rate and tightening each time I pump my fingers into you. It's really hot too, especially knowing that the world believes you hate my guts when behind the scenes, I rearrange yours”.

Words cannot describe the pleasure Bakugou exposes you to. A thumb pressed against your clitoris, his middle and ring finger dug past your labia, and you’re unraveling beneath him. He has you under his full control. And how Bakugou feels will determine your release. An untroubled Bakugou can earn you multiple chances of release, whereas the current Bakugou you’re experiencing will rip your attempt at euphoria, despite you being almost there.

“Katsuki please, I was right there… I’m so close you even said it yourself” You plead, wanting to reach a climax.

“I don’t know… strenuous activities make me tired and I wouldn’t want to upset you with the hour I may fall asleep” Bakugou smirks while tasting his digits, “You taste like caramelized sugar, I wonder where that came about?”

“Suki please, don’t leave me like this”

“It’ll only be for a little while babe, but lunch is almost over, we have to go back to class. I’ll help you out at my dorm alright?”

What more could you do but nod, put back on your skirt, and pretend to hate Bakugou once more in public?

----------

The walk back to class was internally embarrassing. Arousal saturated your underwear, heat filling up between your legs and left you with a foggy mind. You couldn’t imagine pretending to hate Bakugou now when all you could think about was Bakugou hovering above you in his dorm room, aggressively ramming into your hole as you pleaded for mercy. But you’re in school containing students who are not Bakugou to distract you from your misery.

“Y/n pay attention to me, and why do you smell like caramel?” Well shit, is the cat out of the bag?

Looking up at the voice calling, you smile faintly in means of apologizing and mutter an incoherent response to Mina’s question.

“Sorry, and thanks I guess... It might be from the sweets I had during lunch”

“I see, well since you like sugary foods we should go to the bakery today after school, I’m sure the others would like to come too” The pinky bounces brightly.

“I can’t today, sorry! I’m super behind on work and barely understand what's going on in class, let’s go this weekend when I’m free?” What a Lie.

Fortunately, the promise of a raincheck is enough for Mina to back off from the situation and accept your rejection. Today would have been a perfect day to go out with friends, yet the blonde-headed boyfriend of yours decided to be unfair, leaving you to crave his affection. Though, the school day would be over soon enough with only two periods following lunch. And only then would you be able to gain some type of relief.

As if that ideology would be so simple.

Bakugou Katsuki is a man full of pride --rightfully achieved, of course, meaning he knew how and when to push your buttons. Right now being one of those times.

Despite wanting to pay attention in your world language class, Bakugou made it very difficult to do so. Especially knowing that he is the cause of your phone silently vibrating every three minutes in your pocket. He doesn't want you to forget he is the cause of your erotic thoughts. Rather, he’ll keep reminding you that he is controlling your excitement.

However, from the glance across the room, Bakugou didn’t look like the lead in this relationship. His eyes were majorly dilated, with his red iris visually smaller in circumference. Additionally, a prominent cherry hue spread across his cheeks, that one may call flustered from afar. Although, only the two of you understood each other’s physical response towards seduction.

Babe 💗: you look dazed

Babe 💗 : I don’t think that’s the best for someone who wants to become a hero, don't you think?

Babe 💗: this class is so important

Babe 💗: …

Babe 💗 : don’t look at me

Babe 💗: i'm not the teacher

Babe 💗: your so cute trying to ignore these texts

Oh how badly you wanted school to be over

-------------

As the clock hit 2:45 PM, you watch everyone around you hurrying to leave the school and have freedom. And once five minutes go past, 1-A is a semi-empty classroom with two students remaining. Two hormonal, amorous, epinephrine-surged students patiently waiting for their peers to leave the school grounds, so that they can walk to the dorms together in peace.

Whilst hand-holding may be a shock to onlookers, if they had the capability to read your mind, myocardial infarction would sure to follow. Outstandingly too, if they did not foreshadow the events of you walking within the fourth floor of heights alliance and entering the second room from your left.

“Your room is so homey” You comment. Despite visiting the blonde’s dorm room on multiple occasions, the comforting aura never ceases to relax you.

“I would hope so, I don’t want to be reminded that we’ve been moved from our homes to our school campus in fear of malicious attacks against students”

“Thanks for that… truly an amazing choice of words” You sarcastically remark. Not everyone needs a reminder of the traumatic incidents students of U.A. have been through, especially when it's clear that students of 1-A (and others) have not received enough therapeutic aid to cope with the events suffered.

One would think that Bakugou of all students would be most affected by trauma, starting from falling victim to the Sludge Villain incident, to being kidnapped by the infamous League of Villains, though he shows the opposite effects. While you cannot see inside the mind of Bakugou and tell if he is extremely traumatized by the incidents and is repressing his memories as a form of coping, you can see what he is physically doing. And at this current moment, you cannot see someone disturbed by his past, but impassioned with the ideas of what is to come.

Tossing your backpack to a discarded corner of Bakugou’s dorm, you throw yourself onto his bed, relishing in the comfort of his bedsheets. You’ve always loved his bed, your favorite moments with him have occurred there. Random naps while cuddling on Saturday afternoon, binge-watching cult-classics after a big exam, or simply having Bakugou’s powerfully built arms wrapped around you like they are now is unforgettable.

“I don’t understand how you’re so built? We go to the same school, attend the same classes and both do athletic training. I mean I’m not complaining because you definitely look good, but it's interesting how my figure compares to yours”

“That's like me asking why you’re so attractive, it's just luck within life, plus I like your figure, it blends perfectly with mine”. A man with such words can only follow with actions that prove it, and the blonde was sure to do so.

Except for when his phone goes off multiple times.

“I think you should check your texts, it may be important”

Halfway sliding off of your body, Bakugou pulls his phone out of his pockets to read his text messages. “It's nothing important, Kirishima just wanted me to join him and the others to go to some bakery since you didn't want to go”

“Oh okay-” Again you were cut off by the sound of his phone going off, however this time, the alert was a long-lasting ring, signaling that Bakugou was receiving a call.

“He’s so persistent, why would I want to go to a bakery when the best dessert is in front of me”

Lightly throwing his phone on the floor of his dorm, Bakugou discards any form of human interaction outside of the bed, focusing his attention on the one he loves.

“You know I really fucking love and care for you?” You do. You fully understand his love for you, from the way his iris shrinks to the rosy pigments formulating on his cheeks when looking at you. And you’ve never once questioned his devoutness towards expressing his adoration for you.

In moments like these, where Bakugou gently strips clothing from your body admiring every crevice, you know the two of you are in love. The boy may come off as an entitled brat, but when push comes to shove, he will bend over backwards trying to make you feel happy.

“You’re so mushy when you're in the feels”

“Oh forgive me for wanting to praise my girlfriend”

“I’m joking, but it is nice to know the feeling is reciprocated”

His silence you took as acknowledgment. ‘I love you too’ was a phrase you didn’t say often, it sounds too forced. Being obligated to say a phrase in return is meaningless when both parties understand each other’s feelings. And it's even more worthless when the actions committed speak louder than words. Bakugou does not need to hear you say ‘I love you’ constantly when he knows you dragging the zipper down of his pants and springing free his cock from the restraints of his underwear means the same thing.

And when you free yourself from the fondling of your boyfriend to meet your lips with the tip of his enraged dick, Bakugou has fallen prey to submission. Having yet to insert the body part into your mouth, you take notice of the male in front of you. Cheeks flushes, head lolled back, visible veins peeking from his sand-colored skin, and light pants as a result of excitement. Hot.

One kiss to his head and you feel a little twitch. He wouldn’t last long. Understanding that thought you decide to mess with the male, putting half of his length within your mouth and pumping the other half. It was a shame he toyed with you earlier, now he’d face the repercussions. Light squelches filled the quiet air, and Bakugou’s groans got increasingly vocal overtime. The combination forming a sexual melody awaiting to be abruptly paused.

Releasing your lips from the now wet surface of the blonde’s dick, you hear the annoyed groan of the male. “Why’d you stop?”

“I’m sorry were you close?”

“Obviously, but that doesn’t answer my question”

“It’s just that strenuous activities make me tired Suki, and I wouldn’t to make you upset if I accidentally fell asleep”

Tch. The little sound of irritation fell from Bakugou’s mouth, only signaled one thing, rough sex.

“How I’ve come to date such a slutty brat is beyond me. Getting back at me isn’t going to help you in this situation. All you’ll receive is a punishment, though knowing you, you’ll probably enjoy it”

Although enticed by the proposition, you failed to speak out after being muffled by your boyfriend. Your own skirt which the male had managed to take off earlier now laid scrunched up in your mouth. In addition to that, your arms were now constricted by a gold-rimmed belt.

And while whining in complaint about the new restrictions placed on you, Bakugou alters your kneeling position into one laying beneath him. The primal glare he sends you would signal fear to others, however, you know that the fun is only about to begin.

Widening your legs apart Bakugou spares no time plunging two fingers into you, stretching the pair apart. Despite being unable to speak, your moans are heard loud enough by your boyfriend to increase his speed. Every sound encouraging the male to continue to berate your walls.

Thinking that the punishment you’ll receive is overstimulation by being one step away from ecstasy, you’re disturbed by the sudden absence of feeling in your core.

“I didn’t say you could come”

Twice today he’d done that. One denial was not enough for him, and that’s when you identified your mistake. Bakugou had the power to reject your advances to climax however many times he’d like. Maybe being a brat today wasn’t the best idea.

Granted that Bakugou could undeniably be the most ruthless person when it comes to sex, today marked the first time he’d ever advanced into you without warning. The thrusts he implemented assaulting your hole. Even so, you wouldn’t have it any other way.

“My god Y/n, you’re so tight, so perfectly made to take my dick”

“You make it so easy for me to unravel within the warmth of your pussy”

“Fuck I’m so close baby, I’m sure you are too”

He wasn’t wrong. The magnitude of the thrusts presented plus the physical restraints and multiple orgasm denials has sped up your ability to reach a climax. You were a mess underneath the man, hoping that soon he would grant you the gift of release. And by the looks of it, Bakugou would provide you with it soon. His cock inconsistently twitching in your warmth, notifying both you and him that he would come soon.

So when the removal of your gag began, you were not surprised. He was close and needed the extra aid of your uncovered moans to aid him to let go. Bare lewd noises ricocheted from the walls of Bakugou’s dorm, and you became thankful that Kirishima went to a bakery rather than located next door. Though had he been, he would have been overhearing an occasion so pornographic, one would think you’re in the business.

They wouldn’t be fully wrong either. Whilst uploading an adult video while training to be pro-heroes sounds absurd, Bakugou has no problem taping to two of you in the act. It may be the idea of possibly getting the video leaked or a similar exhibitionist-like kink, but the blonde constantly acts to videotape during sex.

“This would be perfect on video. The noises you make before you come are so fucking hot I’d replay them until the end of time”

Yet Bakugou is gravely mistaken. Yes, the noises you exhale are angelic, but compared to the rugged groan he calls while releasing his load in you is divine, and never fails in making you follow suit. So when you recognize that tone in addition to the feeling of warmth coating the inside of your walls, you have no choice but to mirror his actions.

“You’re so perfect” He states, slipping himself from your cunt and delivering pecks to your lips while he unbuckles his belt from your wrists. Post-sex always has Bakugou sappy, but how could you complain.

Wrapping your freed arms around his neck, you pull the male closer to your embrace while nuzzling your nose into his neck. You felt the rapid pace of his heartbeat begin to slow down.

“Are you guys done, because I still haven’t received a response from Bakugou about if he wanted to go to the bakery or not?” What the fuck.

“Did you not press decline when answering Kirishima’s phone?”

“I thought I did…”

“Is that a no or?”

“Of course it's a fucking no, and don’t tell anyone else what you heard. Why were you even listen-” He hung up.

“You think we can go another day pretending to hate each other?”

“Nope… he definitely told the entire class”

“That's a shame, it was fun having them think I hate your guts”

“Awe how tragic… now get up so we can clean you off, heroes in training don't get UTIs”

How sweet.

----------

The trek to school the next day seemed no different than the past. You woke up early to walk to class with Bakugou and strolled the corridors. Only this time while sauntering into homeroom, nobody greeted the couple at the door, rather class 1-A smiled awkwardly as you held hands walking to your seats. Although you wouldn’t have known the reason for the tension in the classroom had Kaminari not jokingly mumble to Sero that he would’ve never expected the blonde to be an exhibitionist.

“Hm, if I recall correctly, I said not to tell anyone”

“I’m sorry my phone was on speaker when I called you” Great.

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smooshjames · 5 years ago

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forget you not (iv)

you knock on my door and tell me you don’t wanna fight (or: inside jokes and invitations)

word count: 4.5k

a/n: part four of forget you not! this is the second to last part as it stands right now, but i am toying with the idea of writing an epilogue. i haven’t made up my mind on that front quite yet, it’ll probably depend on if there’s any demand for an epilogue once the parts i’ve got written are all finished up. anyway, the usual disclaimers: i didn’t write any of the songs mentioned, they all belong to little mix, this chapter’s songs are here and here (no new ones this time, but i figure i’ll link them anyway for the sake of easy access). here is a link to my ko-fi, which, as usual, is never an obligation. thank you for taking the time to read this, and i hope you enjoy!

warnings: more angst (surprising, right?), an author who is very bad at sketch comedy trying to write characters who are very good at sketch comedy

previous parts: one, two, three

With the red dot on the cameras blinking, you knew it was even more important now that you kept up that positive facade. You did your best to think about good things, hoping your smile wouldn’t look too forced.

To your right, Shayne launched into an energetic intro where he explained the rules of the game and introduced you guys as guests. Once he had given his little speech, he turned to you, though his eyes were fixed on the partition over your shoulder. Still, his smile didn’t waver for even a second. “So, are you guys ready to play?”

You nodded enthusiastically and laughed in easy agreement as you were elected to be the first person in the stool. You filled your mouth with water and flashed a thumbs-up, and out came Alexis. She used an inside joke, which was probably cheating, but it made you spit your water out anyway.

The game went on like this for a while, until finally, the only person yet to try to make you laugh was Shayne. You braced yourself as he asked if you were ready, humming an affirmative and doing your best to keep your breathing even.

He came out holding a red telephone, which he set on top of the bongos.

“Watch this,” he said, flashing you a shit-eating grin. For a second, you felt yourself tilting forward into that grin, into those eyes. Your heart jackhammered in your chest. It was the first genuine smile he’d given you all day, and God it was beautiful. “Hi, Dominos? You’re my favorite pizza place.”

You knitted your eyebrows in confusion.

“Watch this though,” he said. He mashed his finger against the phone buttons and lifted it again. “Hi, Pizza Hut? You’re my favorite pizza place.”

And then he nodded at you a little, smiling expectantly. When you didn’t laugh, he held up one finger. “Watch this though.”

With his free hand, he made a sort of waving motion in the direction of the partition, and out came Damien holding an identical red phone. He handed it to you and then went back to where all the props were. Shayne dialed his phone and made a little ringing sound effect for emphasis. You picked up your phone.

“Hi, Y/N?” he asked. You hummed something vaguely resembling “hello” into the receiver, figuring you might as well play along with the bit. In the same voice, with that same shit-eating grin, he said, “you’re my favorite singer.”

You weren’t sure why, maybe it was the strange vocal inflection or the mirth in his eyes as he said it, but sure enough, you sprayed water all over the soundstage. Shayne laughed gleefully as you did so, and the sound of it made you forget to breathe for just a second; you hadn’t heard that laugh in years. It made your chest ache to hear it again. In a sort of daze, you handed him your prop and he took it backstage.

Everyone came back out and you had to choose who made you laugh the hardest. You picked Damien, who had pranced out in an insanely tangled red wig with a stuffed flamingo in one hand, partially because he had made you laugh really hard and partially because you were trying to procrastinate Shayne's turn as much as possible.

Damien’s round passed quickly, and you managed to make him laugh after a few seconds. He chose Piper to go next, so she took her place on the stool. You went backstage with everyone else and started sifting through props to think of a bit.

And then Shayne fully took his shirt off.

You froze halfway through picking up a cowboy hat. You were pretty sure that anyone listening closely enough could’ve heard the gears in your brain grinding to a halt.

You wondered, if you started running now, how far into the ocean you could get before anyone noticed you were gone.

Carly nudged you with her elbow and asked you to help her with a bit, forcing you to turn away from Shayne, which was probably for the best. You took the opportunity to remind yourself that not only did he have a new girlfriend, but that the two of you didn’t work. You never had and you never would.

And before you knew it, Piper’s round was over, and Shayne was up next. You felt a bolt of panic. You knew you could make him laugh, but you weren’t sure how to go about doing it and you were rapidly running out of time to figure it out. Finally, you decided against every bit of logic you had. You decided to just go with an inside joke.

He probably wouldn’t remember it, anyway. It didn’t really matter. If you didn’t make him laugh it wasn’t the end of the world. At the end of that day, you were just here to promote the band.

At least, this is what you told yourself as you stood behind the partition waiting for your turn. But your hands were trembling anyway.

Your turn came up. Alexis gave you a little high five on your way out. You walked up to Shayne’s right side and leaned in close to him, careful not to touch him. You looked at him through your eyelashes and shifted your weight from foot to foot. “Hey,” you said, voice low and sultry. Shayne’s brows knitted in confusion, and you feared for a moment that he had forgotten. You were probably only half-audible to the mics, but you didn’t care. You were focused single-mindedly on making Shayne laugh. “I was just wondering… do you like tacos?” You were careful to drag out the vowels on the word ‘tacos.’ You heard Damien start giggling behind the partition.

At least he remembered.

And then Shayne’s eyes widened and he surged forward as he tried to keep the water in. Your heart skipped a beat, though you couldn’t quite pin down why.

“Do you like tacos, Shayne? Do you?” you asked, leaning a little closer. You felt more confident now that you knew he remembered the joke. “Tell me how much you like tacos, Shayne.”

That did the trick. He sprayed water everywhere, shrieking with laughter as he did so.

Once the water was cleaned up, everyone else came back out from behind the partition and Shayne chose Alexis to go next.

After Alexis, it was Carly’s turn, and then you were all done. You had even finished a little bit ahead of schedule.

Ian came over once the cameras were cut, smiling brightly. “That was really good, you guys! Thanks so much for coming in today.”

“Thanks for having us!” Alexis said. “It was a ton of fun.”

You nodded in agreement but you were only half-listening. Shayne had somehow ended up right next to you during the outro of the video, and he hadn't made an effort to move away after the cameras stopped rolling. He was close to you, maybe a little closer than necessary, and that fact was all you could focus on.

As you were listening to Ian talk about when the video would be released, you felt Shayne wrap his hand around your forearm, squeezing lightly to get your attention. That one simple touch set your entire right side on fire. You felt like he’d lit off a fireworks display under your skin. You turned to face him, and you couldn’t help noticing that he looked more than a little bit like a kicked puppy.

“Can we talk?” he asked. His voice was soft, a stark contrast to how loud he’d been just minutes before as you were filming the video outro. “Just for a few minutes, please?”

At these questions, a knot of mixed emotion -- fear, anger, a little misguided hope -- gathered in a knot at the base of your spine and squeezed so hard you went lightheaded with it.

You glanced around for Michelle, who was watching you like a hawk. You tilted your head toward Shayne and shrugged. She nodded.

“Okay,” you replied. In all honesty, you weren’t sure why you said yes. You didn’t know what he could possibly have to say to you. Your mind raced with all the worst-case scenarios; that he would rub his new girlfriend in your face, that he would say something mean or insulting, that he would tear down what little you had managed to build yourself up. You wrestled those ideas into submission, though. Shayne had made his mistakes, but he had never been intentionally cruel.

He led you back through the office until he found an empty conference room. You closed the door behind you as you entered.

“What’s up?” you asked. You cringed as it was coming out of your mouth. Really? What’s up?

Now that you were alone, some of his forced Funny Man bravado seemed to crumble away. His shoulders slumped and the shine went out of his eyes, and the look he gave you was sad, exhausted.

You felt like the earth was rotating the wrong way, like God had vacuum sealed the room shut, like Saturn was crashing into Jupiter and imploding on impact.

“I, um…” he mumbled. He shoved his hands into his pockets and chuckled nervously. For a moment, you were reminded of the first time he’d asked you out. You’d both been so young then, and he had been all nerves and goofy smiles. You knew even from that first conversation that you were a goner. “I should’ve planned out what I was gonna say, huh? I had all weekend to think about it.”

“You don’t have to say anything,” you said. “This weekend has been… a series of really fucking weird, awful coincidences. You don’t have to, like, apologize. We’ll just chalk it up to being a series of unfortunate events.”

His brow furrowed and his head tilted slightly, which really intensified the whole kicked puppy vibe he had going. Your heart ached, and there was a moment where the muscles in your legs twitched, where your body tried to move itself over to him without your brain’s consent.

You stayed rooted to your place.

“What?” he asked, voice small, barely even audible over the hum of the air conditioning.

You shrugged. “It’s okay, Shayne. I’m not, like, upset that you moved on --”

Bold-faced lie number one.

“Wait,” he said, but you couldn’t hear him over the blood roaring through your ears.

“-- and Courtney seems really nice, so I’m happy that you’re happy --”

Bold-faced lie number two.

“No, just --” he tried to interrupt you again, but you kept going.

“-- and I’m sorry that we had to see each other again in this context, it’s been… really fucking weird. But that doesn’t mean you need to try to make it better, okay? Don’t worry about me.”

Bold-faced lie number three.

Before you could conjure up more ways to end the conversation and escape the room, Shayne took a halting step forward.

“Courtney and I aren’t dating,” he said. Your mouth snapped shut as your brain slammed on the brakes. “We’re just friends. I went to the concert with her because the person she was supposed to go with canceled last minute and she couldn’t find anybody else.”

Oh.

“And I’m sorry we had to see each other again in this context, too, but not because I want to patronize you by telling you that I’m sorry things didn’t work out. I mean I am sorry things didn’t work out, but not in like a My Life Is Better Now, Sorry About That kinda way --” he stopped, faltering, obviously unsure of how to put his thoughts into words.

Oh.

“I mean, if anything, you’re the one who’s better now; --” wait, what? “-- you’re successful, doing what you love, surrounded by your friends, and you’ve clearly moved on. --” wait, what? “-- But I just wanted to talk to you because… I don’t really know why, honestly. Because a part of me is still twenty-one and in love with you, I guess.”

So that was what it was like to have every organ in your body simultaneously crushed under a hydraulic press. Interesting.

You couldn’t think of anything poetic to say, so you settled for what seemed the most pressing. “You think I cried on stage singing Towers, a song I wrote about you, because I’m over you? You think I’m the one who’s moved on?”

He shrugged meekly. “I don’t know. That was just one song. You sang a hell of a lot of other songs about how you don’t need a man, about how your life is great. And those aren’t bad things! They were really good songs, but I just assumed --”

“Carly and Alexis wrote all those songs,” you said flatly. He fell silent. “I just sing them.”

There was a moment of silence that seemed to last an eternity, and then there was a knock on the door. “Come in,” Shayne said, his eyes still locked on yours.

A tall brunet man with a thick beard opened the door and stuck his head inside. “Hey,” he said. “There’s a meeting in here in five minutes.” And then he looked between the two of you, and his eyes narrowed. You figured the tension in the room was so palpable, even a stranger could pick up on it. “Everything okay, Shayne?”

“Yeah, it’s fine,” Shayne replied. “We’ll be out of here in a minute. Sorry, Matt.”

“No problem,” the man, Matt, said. He nodded at you in acknowledgment, seeming more than a little confused at your presence. The door closed softly as he left.

“It’s probably for the best,” you said. “Michelle will have a coronary if I’m gone for too long. Places to be, people to see, insanely specific and personal questions to answer.”

He laughed a little bit, nodding, and for a moment the heavy awkwardness that had settled in the room seemed to lift just slightly. “Is your number still the same?” he asked.

“Yeah,” you replied. “Why?”

“I’ll text you my new address. Um, if you can, if you want to, it would probably be good for you to come over tonight to talk a little more. I can order some dinner for us. Only if you want to. I just don’t think… I don’t want to leave things this way.”

A sudden bolt of anger streaked through you, fiery hot. You clenched your jaw. He didn’t want to leave things this way? He had no qualms with leaving things this way when he’d let your entire relationship go down the drain all those years ago. And now he just got to waltz back in and invite you over for dinner and pretend he didn’t cause you the worst heartbreak you’d ever felt? After you had finally gotten yourself close to okay again, he got to come back in and ruin everything, knock you right back down to where you started? That wasn’t fucking fair.

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to,” you said, and it wasn’t a lie. You still had one more interview after leaving the Smosh offices. You’d be completely worn out by the time that was done, especially on top of the exhaustion from the emotional rollercoaster that you’d boarded against your will.

“I’ll send the address anyway,” Shayne said. “Don’t feel pressured to come. If you don’t, I completely get it. You can delete the text and block my number if you want. I swear that after this I’ll never bother you again. But just in case.”

“Okay,” you replied. You really didn’t want to argue with him. You just wanted to track down Michelle and the band and go on your way to the next interview and try to forget about everything that had happened in the last three days. “Fine.”

He nodded and pulled out his phone, and after a moment you felt your own vibrate in your back pocket. You wondered briefly if he had your number memorized, which would have been kind of weird, or if he’d just never deleted your contact information. The notion that the latter might be true made your heart skip a beat.

Once he had repocketed his phone, he looked up at you. There was a moment of lingering silence where it was clear that neither of you knew what to say.

Finally, you lifted your hand in farewell. “It’s been, um… it was good to see you again, Shayne.” Bold-faced lie number four. “Bye.”

“Bye, Y/N,” he said.

Doing your best to ignore the tightness in his voice, you walked past him out of the room and scurried off to meet up with the band. You found them talking to Courtney, Damien, and another girl that you didn’t recognize. She was about Courtney’s height, Chinese, with brown hair and eyes.

“Ready to go, Y/N?” Piper asked.

“I think so,” you said. You turned to Damien and nodded your head over your shoulder. “Got a minute for goodbye?”

He nodded and the two of you retreated away from the rest of the group, not leaving their view but definitely out of earshot. “I’m sorry I couldn’t warn you,” he said.

“It’s okay, Damien, really,” you replied. You reached out to squeeze his arm reassuringly. “This weekend was wild for everybody involved. At least we got to see each other again, right? This has been really nice.”

He grinned and pulled you into another bear hug. “Yeah, it has been,” he said, and you felt it as a rumble in his chest more than you actually heard it. When you parted, he left one hand lingering on your arm and squeezed lightly before it dropped to his side. “Call sometime, okay? I’ve missed you.”

“Will do, Dames.” You glanced over your shoulder and saw Michelle looking at you expectantly. She tapped her wristwatch. You sighed. “I gotta run. I’ll see you around.”

He nodded and said a final goodbye before you turned to make your way back to the band. You noted on your way that Shayne had returned from the conference room. He was talking to Courtney and the brunette now.

You ignored the feeling of his eyes on you as you walked out of the offices and into the LA sunlight beyond.

***

Shayne came back from the conference room a few seconds after you did. He did his best not to watch you and Damien saying goodbye, did his best to push down the surge of jealousy as you hugged him. You were smiling up at him and it seemed easy, carefree. It was like you’d just seen each other yesterday. He wished he could be like that with you, even though he knew why he couldn’t. He was doomed to sad smiles and airless rooms and awkward tension so thick you could cut it with a knife.

If time travel was real, he’d go back to that final night with you and kick his own ass.

Damien’s hand on his shoulder startled him out of his self-loathing. He turned to face his best friend and didn’t bother concealing the hurt on his face; Damien would see right past it even if he tried.

“You okay?” Damien asked. Shayne let out a strangled laugh. Of course he wasn’t okay.

“I feel like somebody tried to wring all the water out of my body,” he replied.

“What’s up with you today?” Courtney asked, and Shayne startled. He’d sort of forgotten she was there.

Shayne sighed. He figured he might as well tell her; she’d probably find out at some point anyway. That or she’d piece it together herself.

“Y/N and I used to be a couple, way back when,” he said. Courtney’s eyes went almost comically wide. “And it… didn’t end very well. Seeing each other again has been really fucking weird for both of us.”

“That’s why she cried when she sang Towers,” Courtney said, more to herself than to anyone in the room. She looked at Damien. “Is that why you know her? ‘Cause of her and Shayne?”

Damien shook his head. “Me and her were friends first. I introduced them.”

Courtney nodded slowly, obviously trying to process this new information. “Oh,” she said. Shayne couldn’t tell where her brain was (he rarely could). If he had to guess, he’d say she was probably combing over her every memory of the past weekend and looking for any indications of the history between you and Shayne. Sure enough, she continued after a moment: “that’s why she looked so constipated when we were at the photo op, and why you ‘needed some air’ halfway through the concert, and why you got all weird when I put my arm around your shoulders before, and why you disappeared after --” she stopped, her brows furrowing for a moment and then raising suddenly. She smirked. “Where’d you go after you finished filming, Shayne? You both came back pretty much at the same time.”

“Courtney --” Shayne said, voice scolding, trying to get her to stop whatever hellish train of thought she was getting onto.

“You’re still in love with her, huh?” Olivia said. She’d been silent for most of the conversation, but she was looking at him like she could see into his soul. Shayne froze. Was he that fucking obvious?

“Still in love with who?” Ian’s voice to his left startled him.

Courtney and Olivia stopped talking now, which Shayne was grateful for. They at least had the decency to let Shayne tell Ian on his own. Everyone looked from Ian to Shayne and back.

“Uh --” Shayne said. “I, um…”

“Is this about whatever weird shit is between you and the girl from the band?” Ian asked. Shayne threw his hands in the air, frustrated. Did the whole world know? Was he that easy to read?

“How did you…?”

“I’ve known you for almost five years, Shayne,” Ian replied. “You looked like you wanted to die during that entire shoot. There were a couple of moments it was so bad that I almost asked Courtney to come in and take your place. But the crew people said it didn’t come through on camera, so I just chalked it up to the fact that I know you so well. You also left with her right after we were done filming. Putting two and two together here doesn’t exactly take a rocket scientist.”

Shayne sighed and ran a frustrated hand through his hair, which made it look even more insane than it usually did. “We dated years ago. The way it ended was my fault. I shouldn’t have broken up with her. I shouldn’t have let her go. She was… she is one of the most amazing women I’ve ever met. This weekend has rubbed everything I did wrong right into my face.”

“Is that it, then?” Courtney asked. “She walks out of here and you let her? After the universe, fate, whatever you wanna call it put in all the effort to bring you together again… you let her go? You repeat your biggest mistake?”

Shayne had to force down an anguished sound at that. He knew Courtney was trying to get him to chase after you, but in reality, she was probably right. You wouldn’t want to come to his apartment to talk things out. You wouldn’t want to see him after everything. You wouldn’t forgive him. And he didn’t deserve your forgiveness, anyway. You were absolutely right to ignore the invitation.

“I asked if she would come over,” he said. He was trying to be hopeful. But he’d seen the way your eyes narrowed when he invited you to his place. Your jaw had dropped and then tightened in that way it did when you were torn between anger and disbelief. “If she does, maybe we can talk things out. But it’s been years. I don’t know if she’ll… I don’t know, you guys.”

He was breathing, that much he knew, but he was sort of starting to wonder if someone had poked a hole in his trachea because he was pretty sure the air wasn’t making it to his lungs. He looked around at his friends, all staring at him like he should know the answer, like he should be able to just whip a magical solution out of his ass and call it a day, a happy ending with a neat little bow.

“I’m gonna take a walk,” he said, a little louder than necessary, because the room was suddenly way too fucking small. Before anyone could object, he walked quickly away from the group and down the hall until he found an empty soundstage. He slumped against the wall and slid down onto the ground. The events of the last three days were piling onto his shoulders like bricks. Memories of you were branded onto his brain and he couldn’t stop replaying them, a highlight reel of what he’d had and what he’d lost. You, years ago, laughing and looking at him like he was the only person in the room. You, years ago, standing in the living room, looking at him like he’d just driven a knife through your heart.

In an instant, he felt like Atlas, holding the weight of his own mistakes. Holding memories both good and bad; your first date, your first kiss, your first fight. You had said ‘I love you’ first because he wasn't brave enough, and you’d looked terrified as you did it, like you were afraid he’d laugh at you and push you away. You’d always looked half-scared, he realized; scared of rejection and pain and heartbreak. And he’d gone and thrown those fears right back in your face.

It took about three seconds for Shayne to collapse in on himself. He barely made it to the couch before his knees gave out on him. He stared up at the ceiling for a long while, desperately trying to process whatever the hell had just happened.

You were gone, and the apartment felt empty without you. It was a new type of loneliness, one he’d never experienced before. He felt a little like his chest was caving in and little like he was astral projecting, like he wasn’t quite contained within the walls of his body. He reached for his phone and sent you a barely-coherent text, apologizing and asking you to come home. And then he texted Damien and asked if he was home. He needed someone’s company.

He stared up at his ceiling while he awaited a response, considering all the things that had led him to this newest, most monumental fuck-up. Suddenly, the time he’d forgotten your birthday made him look like Boyfriend of the Year.

And then he reached into his pocket and he produced the little blue box he’d gotten just yesterday, and he opened it and looked at the ring inside. Not too flashy -- he didn’t have the money for any big diamonds, and you’d once joked that you didn’t want your engagement ring to weigh five tons. He smiled at the memory and traced his finger over the small diamond at the center of the ring.

God, what the fuck had he just done?

Shayne’s head thumped against the wall behind him, and he cried.

#shayne topp x reader #shayne topp #eliza.txt #forget you not

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starlight-time-machine · 8 months ago

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Week in Review

03/17/2024 – 03/23/2024

Sunday

Week 6 of missing Cipher Academy.

Finally got around to watching the new Drag Race episode, and it was fine. At least it was better than last week… Plane Jane trying so hard to read Dawn was funny, when I also thought that Plane’s dress was pretty basic and barely even fit the brief. The mini challenge was fun – it seems like they’re going to make this a regular thing going forward, and I think that’s a good idea. It really showcased how well Sapphira knew the other girls lol The maxi challenge was also okay…I did have to skip Mhi’ya and Dawn’s presentation because I can’t stand secondhand embarrassment, but the others did relatively well. I know a lot of people were up in arms about how Plane and especially Q should’ve won, but I found their set a little…overly rehearsed and over the top to the point of being alienating. And their jokes were just okay. Sapphira and Nymphia also had pretty okay jokes, but Sapphira’s charisma just draws people in, and I think that’s what gave her the edge. And, if I’m being really honest, it’s extremely funny to see Q so shocked at Sapphira winning, and it looks like there’ll be an entertaining fight about it next week. The Mhi’ya and Morphine lip sync was…interesting…the cape throw was certainly a move… It was a nice cap on the Mhi’ya and Morphine rivalry storyline, I suppose, but as a lip sync it just felt awkward to watch.

Watched Nijigasaki’s 4th Live, Love the Life we Live while I did some reading, and it was pretty cute. This batch of solos were all decent, and I loved seeing Shu Uchida performing – she looks like she’s having a lot of fun and is super in her element. Seeing Akina Homoto perform is also great, and Lanzhu hasn’t had a bad solo so far. The cat ears for Happy Nyan Days were cute, the Santa capes for Twinkle Town were cute, and the Osaka-ben for MIRACLE STAY TUNE was fun. A decent live overall.

Manga Sunday time! Undead Unluck continues to deliver on the lore and the stakes raising – it’s hard to imagine actually losing anyone in this loop after the failure of the last loop, so I’m glad to see Tozuka finding ways to still make each victory feel earned and against insurmountable odds, because otherwise the victory lap would go on for way too long. I’m excited to see what Language can do, and how Nico and Ichico will counteract her. This loop looks like it’ll be a battle of wits between the two Round Tables, and that’ll be a blast to watch play out.

RuriDragon is more of the same…once again the dialogue writing is really verging on cringe and alien for me, and for such a story light/character driven narrative, it’s making me want to drop the series entirely… Okay, one more week, and then I’ll decide.

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OKAY I TAKE IT BACK…OR RATHER, OSHI NO KO SAVED ITS ENERGY PULLING ALL THOSE PUNCHES JUST SO THIS ONE WOULD LAND LIKE A TRUCK… I mean, I do appreciate Aqua and Ruby’s relationship on a level of like, it must be somewhat comforting to Aqua to see a patient he failed in his past life living out her dreams now…but man, I have no idea how they’ll move forward with this storyline or resolve the incest of it all… Are we to expect that Aqua and Ruby are actually…lovers now? And that they’re just going to go through their whole lives hiding this relationship from the world…? I imagine Aqua will put an end to it eventually, but Ruby doesn’t seem like she’ll ever give up, so…? And man, if this movie came out in the real world I feel like there’d be people pushing to stop its release due to the on-screen actual incest kiss LMAO Well…either way, I’m in it for the long haul just to see how the story ends, so. Also side note but the art was really cute this chapter. They were really building up to this, huh.

Magilumiere fine.

Chainsaw Man… The Guillotine Devil’s design is super cool.

Woah… One Piece… seeing the Five Elders in their true monstrous glory is amazing… I especially like Bakotsu, the skeletal horse. But wow, this truly feels like an all-out war at this point.

Godddddd that was the best SpyFam chapter in a long while…I actually laughed out loud at the comedy for once, and the climactic payoff was so moving… It’s enough for me to want to do a livetweet of the chapter: I love Loid practically breaking his arm to marionette Anya around, and her childish need to show off just added to the comedy. The obstacle course was also cute, complete with Anya’s secret talent of “moving weirdly.” And then there’s Loid panicking at the quiz, only for Anya to obviously excel – but I do appreciate that she would’ve gotten the last question even without her mind reading (in this moment, at least), because she’s genuinely gotten to know Damian better. This whole competition thing was pretty silly, but it was a nice way to find an excuse for Damian and Anya to dance because Damian’s pride would’ve never let him do that otherwise. AND THEN SUDDEN HENRY/MARTHA SHIP FODDER????? I guess I should’ve expected it since they’re both named characters who are single and of the same age bracket, but damn I didn’t expect to actually be fed…I love seeing weird side pairings, and Martha’s super cool, so this was a fun surprise. AND THEN THE DAMIANYA DANCE it’s so cute… Loid leaving Anya to handle the situation on her own because he trusts her… Damian and Anya actually having a private conversation without their usual hostility or tsunderism or friends butting in with their own assumptions… Damian letting some cracks in his armour show and Anya noticing this… ANYA DECIDING TO TELL HIM SHE CAN READ MINDS AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THIS IS THE MAJOR STATUS QUO SHIFT I WAS DESPERATELY WAITING FOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Of course Damian wouldn’t believe her right away, but I hope to god it doesn’t take another hundred chapters for him to be like “wait…this literally explains everything about why she’s so weird.” It’d be so cool if he and Anya could share this secret, and maybe they could even help each other out if they ever face something like the bus jacking again… Anya’s weakness has always been that she doesn’t have the skillset to effectively use the crucial information she can gather, so if Damian could help her strategize, I think that would make for some really fun developments. But for now, I’m just glad we seem to be moving forward.

Watched through the Karen Bee arc in Nisemonogatari, and it was…okay? I find it hard to follow some of Monogatari’s long winding conversations sometimes… Like, why does Araragi say that Karen’s conviction isn’t enough because she’s fighting for other people when he’s literally doing the same thing…? Why put down her self-sacrificing tendencies when Araragi was literally ready to give up his life to save a random vampire he just met…? And why was this enough to convince her to back down? I like Kaiki as a villain, and I like his jaunty little theme song and his tired sounding voice, but why did he agree to leave town so easily…? Maybe his motivations will be answered later on? Was he lying about leaving? But surely Araragi and Senjougahara would’ve realized that he was just saying he’d stop so that they’d leave him alone? It often feels like Monogatari is operating on a level of specificity and pedanticisim that leaves me feeling lost, because all this high-minded talk of being right or wrong or enacting the “right” kind of justice or enacting justice for the “right” reasons just feels sort of like…at a certain point, I’d rather see some actions being performed rather than long diatribes about how and why certain actions should be performed. I don’t know, I’ll go read some essays I guess, but I feel like I’m just not getting into the groove of Monogatari the way so many people seem to have done. I do like Araragi and Senjougahara’s insane little romance, though, and the way Senjougahara is so unrelenting but he accepts her anyway. Senjougahara and Hanekawa’s relationship is also interesting, and it seems like that branch of the love triangle will be explored further so I’m looking forward to it. And oh my god I’m so glad I watched things in novel order, because I would’ve been so much more confused if I hadn’t watched the Kizumonogatari films before this.

I do wonder, sometimes, if I’ll ever actually truly love Monogatari. I love Cipher Academy a lot, so I wanted to give Monogatari a shot as Nisioisin’s supposed magnum opus, but seeing people heap praise onto Bake and Kizu and not feeling particularly strongly about either of those series gives me pause… I guess it’s just like, none of the philosophical questions that Monogatari has posed so far actually interest me? I don’t really like altruistic to a fault protagonists who would do anything to help anyone no matter what, and that’s literally Araragi’s biggest character flaw. And the show supposedly explores this flaw of his, but so far it hasn’t really given him any lasting consequences. And while I can relate to Hanekawa in certain ways, (and honestly some parts of her emotional turmoil parallel mine a little too well) I still haven’t really gotten emotionally invested in her…perhaps because I tend to just compartmentalize and move on, while her compartmentalizing comes back to haunt her. And now Nise’s theme of real versus fake feels so boring…it seems obvious to me that after a certain point, if one’s tangible features and or actions are indistinguishable between real and fake, then it doesn’t matter if one had the intention of being a fake. In other words, intentions mean little in the face of tangible reality and how one’s actions actually affect others. This seems fairly basic, but it looks like we’re going to take 11 whole episodes to spell it out, so it feels a little frustrating. I don’t know…I really want to like Monogatari, but it’s just not hitting.

Did some reading of the second book in Pseudonymous Bosch’s Secret Series, If You’re Reading This It’s Too Late, and…I guess if I were to make comparisons to Mysterious Benedict Society again, it would be this: in Benedict it feels like the kids are rising to the challenge of the adults and the real stakes they pose, but in the Secret series it feels like the adults are lowering themselves to the kids’ levels in order to give them a fair shot. It’s satisfying to read Benedict to this day because the kids have to be genuinely resourceful and clever enough to not just solve puzzles but to social engineer their way out of harrowing situations with what resources they have. In the Secret series, the adults may threaten the kids’ lives, but as long as the kids conveniently know rope escape tricks or have some special gadget or can solve a basic riddle, they’ll succeed. It’s just not as compelling to read…but I’m a bit stuck because I actually own the third book in this series (childhood birthday gift) so I feel the need to read through the entire thing to see if I still like it. Granted I’m still in the first half of this book, but already the puzzles don’t feel that well thought out – first off, why give Max-Ernest a literal magic decoder that would either render all puzzles moot or require a “oh it won’t work for This puzzle because of this or that,” rendering it useless?? Just don’t put it in the book… Secondly, you’re telling me that Cass has perfect pitch (so that she could sing the song accurately to Yo-Yoji) AND she takes oboe lessons, but didn’t even think to transcribe the notes to see what they said until the resident new kid mentions being in a band???? God, I had issues with Baccalario’s Century series and Andrew Clements’ Keepers of the School series, but at least they had some puzzles that felt like actual challenges instead of just being solved by happenstance or extremely basic lateral thinking. Also I wish Cass and Max-Ernest had some more personalized motivations as to why they’re doing all these things – just wanting to go on an adventure and become a part of a cool secret society isn’t enough…at least Century had one of their friends in mortal peril and Keepers had their whole school at stake. Also also I always liked how in Benedict, the kids being key agents in the plan to the save the world seemed to pain Mr. Benedict due to the danger it would put them in, but there was good reason as to why only children could’ve done it, and they went into the plan knowing the risks. Here, Pietro all but shoves the Magic Item du Livre at Cass and gives her some vague “only you can do it” platitude before seemingly throwing her into the deep end with the Midnight Sun, who already know where she and her friends and family live and could harm her at any time. (Speaking of which, what was the point of sneaking into her house and retying the floss she had set-up as a detection mechanism if you’re just going to leave her torn up sock puppet on her bed anyway…) I know it’s pathetic to complain so much about a children’s book, but hey other children’s books have done it better, so why can’t this one? Kids (and weird adults like me) deserve good literature too.

Monday

Work

Tuesday

Work

Wednesday

Work

Thursday

I’ve been grinding this work thing nonstop with little sleep and about one meal a day, but I didn’t want to miss DunMesh Thursday…plus, Senshi would be disappointed with the way I’ve been living lol so I decided to splurge and order some chicken tikka masala, and the local Indian place was nice and gave me some free naan to boot. Unfortunately the episode itself was a little underwhelming…? I didn’t like some of the directorial choices like the weird trajectory of that one digital zoom or the lack of impact for Marcille’s dark magic…the blood bubbling up to form Falin’s body was cool, but I was missing some of the darkness and solemnity that the scene had in the manga. Also I’m so sad that Laios’ hug was also pretty nerfed, his expression was so complex and layered in the manga but the anime only gave it about one single second of airtime… The bath scene was also missing some of its subtle ominousness from the manga… I don’t know, the vibes in this episode were just off to me, it felt like Falin’s return sunk in way too easily. But it’s nice seeing more of who Falin actually is and how she fits into this group, and Laios subtly bragging in that older brother kind of way was so cute and demonstrative of their bond.

Read the latest chapter of Asada Nemui’s Living Dead – I don’t have much to say about it but I’m nervous for Nogami getting too close to the truth.

A Second Goodbye to You finally ended…what a disappointing story this turned out to be. Whatever vague time travel rules the mangaka established just get thrown out the window completely as Hinata jumps around and teleports to key moments and locations in order to prevent disaster (which makes all of his earlier struggles with getting to certain places as a teen or as a kid feel so pointless). And on top of all that, he gets to relive his high school days and Sora gets away from his parents somehow (even though Hakuraku no longer being a part of their lives really shouldn’t have affected this much), and everything just magically and conveniently works out for everyone. I think the earlier part of this manga was intriguing because it could often shock the reader with sudden violent twists, but when it came to actually explaining what was happening and people’s motivations, it just completely fell flat. OooOOoOh he’s EVIL because he loves DEATH and DYING and wants to turn it into ART like this is some 12 year old’s conception of a “crazy” bad guy. For annoying me so much, I’ll give it a 2/10.

Friday

Drag Race was okay…I kind of don’t get how these room design challenges relate to the skillset that a drag queen needs other than like, improv comedy I guess? Q being heated continues to be very funny, especially as Sapphira and Plane Jane get a team win. It feels like Nymphia’s chances of winning are slipping further and further away, but I hope I can be proven wrong. But also, to echo the words of literally every single tweet in the Drag Race tag today, they really set Dawn up with that song.

Daraku Kazoku-ron caught my eye for being an interesting take on the “two guys raise a kid together” BL – I normally don’t really like them when they’re overly fluffy and moe-focused, but this one has been enjoyable so far. I like that Meguru isn’t just a cute kid but a little surly, and has her own opinions on the situation and how her mother treated her. The two guys already having a history gives their inevitable relationship a stronger base to stand on, and there are some actual themes of self-improvement and scenes of the two trading their differing philosophies that I appreciate. I also like that they didn’t cheap out on Touma’s shady occupation and he’s actually a yakuza, which should make for some interesting story developments in the future. I’m looking forward to the rest of this one.

Saturday

Work ahhhhhhhhhhhghhhhhhhhhhh

#week in review #2024

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ordinaryschmuck · 4 years ago

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Top 20 BEST Animated Series of the 2010s-8th Place

It’s funny. Four years ago, there was no doubt in my mind that this show would easily make the top five best-animated series in the last decade. But the more it went on, the more...controversial it got. However, despite all the hate this next series has been getting recently, I still believe that there’s something to be desired within it.

#8-Steven Universe/Steven Universe: Future (2013-2020)

The Plot: For years, immortal warriors known as the Crystal Gems have been defending the Earth from anything that seeks to do it harm. Until one day when Rose Quartz, the Gems leader, had fallen in love with a human named Greg Universe. From that love, Rose gave up her physical form to bring her son, Steven, into the world she was sworn to protect. Taking guidance from the other Crystal Gems-Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl-Steven will try his best to grow up into the same warrior that his mom was. But as he learns more about the Gems and his mother, Steven will soon realize that he’ll have to grow up far faster than he thought.

Right out the gate, I should mention there's a 60%-40% chance that you’re either going to love this show or think that it’s pure garbage. And honestly, I believe it all depends on perspective. Like the quality of most shows, the enjoyment depends on the viewpoints you chose to take with it. Some people will look at specific decisions as well done, where others will see it all as a mess of storytelling. For instance, one person can make a two-hour-long video about how Steven Universe is garbage, and another person can make a video arguing about how it isn’t. Everyone has different reasons why they like or hate something. If you genuinely hate Steven Universe or think you might not like it, that's perfectly fine. I just hope you’ll give me the chance to explain why I personally enjoy it, and why I think it deserves all the adulation it has.

For instance, the main thing I really enjoy about Steven Universe is its style. From the designs, to the animation, to even the music. Everything about how Steven Universe both looks and sounds leave me awestruck. First is the show’s designs of both the backgrounds and characters. Nearly every part of the world in the series looks absolutely amazing, fitting seeing how the Crystal Gems fought for Earth due to its beauty. There are also times when lore and backstory can be seen through the backgrounds, giving some fantastic utilization of visual storytelling. Such as when the Crystal Gems visit war zones and temples that they’ve spent years fighting in, showing hidden secrets that can make much more sense by later episodes. As for the character designs, they all look pretty good. Each character has a dynamic and unique style, making them all fun to look at. It’s even better when the character’s personalities are shown throughout their entire designs. I especially love how the artists managed to get creative with how real life crystals (lapices, bismuths, and jaspers) will look like people when designing the Crystal Gems and their enemies. However, I should first mention that Steven Universe is another show where the art style depends on who’s storyboarding the scene. While not as bad as OK KO: Let’s Be Heroes, it can be pretty distracting given how character sizes and proportions are inconsistent. Regardless, I still like how good the designs look for a majority of the characters. And at a practical standpoint, I think it’s great that the artists kept the figures as simple as possible as it makes animating the characters a lot easier.

Speaking of which, I really like how Steven Universe is animated. It’s not entirely groundbreaking like The Amazing World of Gumball’s or as fluid as Wander Over Yonder’s, but the animation in Steven Universe is still pretty dang good. The characters' movements look believable, and the expressions each one makes is downright amazing to see. It gets more aspiring for the show’s fight scenes. You can almost feel each punch, jab, and slash that the characters trade with each other, and the fights themselves are pretty fun to watch. As for the action itself, Steven Universe might just have the most creative action set pieces I’ve seen from any animated series. Case in point, there is an entire fight scene that’s also a fantastic song at the same time.

On the topic of songs, let the record show that showrunner Rebecca Sugar really understands music. I say this because Steven Universe has some really great music in it. From background music to full-on musical numbers, this show proves how important melodies are in a series. Look at the background music, as it not only does a suitable job at making audiences feel the right emotions but also sounds really good when isolated. As for the character motifs, each note perfectly encapsulates the character's personality that it’s meant for. Like Pearl, who has a piano melody to show off her classy and orderly personality, and Peridot, who has a more 8-bit tune to her leitmotif as a way to show off her tech side. And since we branched into talking about 8-bit, there are times when this show’s soundtrack sounds like it belongs in a really cool video game (Google Lion’s and Obsidian's themes if you don’t believe me). As for the actual songs in the show, Steven Universe has a pretty good selection. As they can be beautiful and downright awesome to listen to. And even though the show uses songs to develop the characters and story, these musical numbers can still be pretty fun to listen to on their own, with no context (most of the time).

But while a show's style is essential, it’s the substance that truly matters. And here is where we go back to the discussion of perspective. To some viewers, you might think that the substance in Steven Universe is handled well, where others...Well, I think it’s pretty obvious how they might feel.

Let’s look at the story because Steven Universe actually has an intriguing and compelling story...Or at least it does when it tries to eventually tell that story. Whether you’re a person who either loves or hates the series, everyone can agree that the slice of life episodes are easily the show’s weakest. Personally, I don’t mind them, and that’s because I view these episodes as giving me a choice between eating a chocolate cake or a carrot. The story-driven episodes are a chocolate cake. Their sweet, delicious, and I’m always craving more after just having one piece. As for the slice of life episodes, they’re like carrots. I can eat a carrot. I can digest a carrot. I might even enjoy a carrot. Hell, there are times when I’m willing to ask for another carrot. But if you’re going to give me the decision of a carrot over a chocolate cake, then I’m always going to pick the chocolate cake. Even if I enjoy episodes like “Laser Light Cannon," “Too Short to Ride," and “Alone Together," they can never hold a candle to “Jail Break," “Reunited," and “Change Your Mind." This is because the slice of life episodes give off a sense of distraction from the main story. After all, they rarely add anything new (read: meaningful) to the tale. And going back to the carrot and chocolate cake analogy, there’s one aspect that doesn’t do the slice of life episodes any favors. You see, where most shows feel like you have to eat the carrots before having the chocolate cake, half the time Steven Universe feels like you can skip most of the carrots and go straight for the chocolate cake instead. And Steven Universe isn’t the only show to try this. In fact, tomorrow I’ll be talking about a show that perfected this idea. But tomorrow's series manages to make both the story and slice of life episode the chocolate cake instead of the carrot. And it has everything to do with the fact that the characters care about the situation they’re in. There are actual moments in the show where Crystal Gems refuse to participate in everyday antics because they simply don’t think those antics are worth their time. Which is something you never want to do. Because if the characters don’t care, then why should the audience? Speaking of the characters--

I want it to be known that I like the majority of the characters in Steven Universe. Greg, Connie, Peridot, Amethyst, and Garnet are all enjoyable to watch in their own way. Not only is their development on point, but their personalities are all likable, and their issues are also relatable. It’s three other characters that things get a little iffy. Those characters being Steven, Pearl, Bismuth and Lapis. If you ask me, I like these characters, and I think it’s fun to study/analyze their personalities. However, these characters make decisions that audiences are either going to hate or love. It’s sort of like that optical illusion of the old lady/young lady (Google it). Some people can see the ugly old hag, where others will see the beautiful young woman. You’re most likely going to see one or the other, and it isn’t until someone else points out what you couldn’t notice that you are capable of seeing both. It’s something very similar to Steven, Pearl, Bismuth and Lapis. One response is that you’re either going to see characters who are selfless heroes that are victims of circumstance. The other is seeing toxic idiots who cause more harm than good to the people they love.

And then there are the people of Beach City. These are mostly hated by both fans and critics of the show. Personally, I don’t hate most of them. Don’t get me wrong, characters like Lars and Ronaldo deserve every ounce of hate they are given (Although Lars does get better). As for the rest of the Beach Citizens, I don’t think they are that bad of characters. In fact, I think they’re good characters placed in the wrong show. Some of them have issues that most people deal with (Sadie, in most of her episodes), where others seem to be slightly layered and almost intriguing (Mr. Smiley and Onion in “Future Boy Zoltron” and “Onion Gang”). In fact, if these characters were a part of a different series, I’m sure people will be more willing to watch their struggles. It's just compared to the Crystal Gems and company, the people of Beach City are not as interesting to watch or dissect. And because of this, the show drags down to a screeching halt whenever it focuses on these characters.

And the most controversial element of these characters is (semi-spoilers ahead) when the show tries to pull off redemption arcs. Steven Universe seems to work off the logic that nobody is evil, just misunderstood. There’s both a right way and a wrong way of illustrating that logic, and Steven Universe, unfortunately, does it the wrong way. And the best way for me to describe how to do this idea is to use the game Undertale as an example (I’d warn you about spoilers, but odds are you already know everything about that game). In Undertale, you play a character who fell into an underground prison full of monsters, and you have to find your way back to the surface. The monsters you run into give the impression that they’re dangerous and want to destroy you (or at least most of them do). However, the game allows the player to interact with the world and characters around them, soon discovering that the monsters are more complex than one might think. In fact, the game allows you to actually interact with monsters who tried to kill you, showing the logic and reasoning as to why. By the end of Undertale, you learn that every character you encounter is not the villains in the story, but rather victims of a war that forced them away from the surface. Steven Universe has a similar idea but fails to do it properly. All it reveals is that the villains have done bad things, realize that they’ve done wrong, and decide to have an out of nowhere change of heart by the end. The problem is that except for one character, the turnarounds don’t feel earned. Instead, they feel forced than anything else.

These elements are what make Steven Universe slightly controversial to enjoy.

(And also the ridiculous amount of hiatuses. But that’s not really an issue I have with the show, but the network running it.)

But if there is one thing I hope we all can agree on, both the pessimistic and forgiving, I think it’s safe to say that the best thing about Steven Universe is how important it is for the LGBTQ+ community. There may have been kids' shows in the past that hinted at same-sex relationships and they deserve some respect as well. But I'd say it’s Steven Universe that popularized the idea with the characters Ruby and Saphire. Not only are these two downright adorable together, but they also manage to be enjoyable characters on their own (Even though it isn’t often you see them apart, but their personalities still shine through). And I’m willing to make the argument that it’s because of these two why children’s animation is less afraid, but still cautious, of being explicit with having same-sex couples. Like I said, most shows decide to hint at these relationships, so they don't get in trouble for doing so. Nowadays? Most of Cartoon Network’s series seem to have more gay relationships than most children’s networks in recent memory. Nickelodeon allowed The Loud House to have gay parents in a children's cartoon, and one of the main characters being canonically bisexual. Hell, even Disney is currently taking steps in the right direction with their smash hit called The Owl House. Now, more than ever, kids can learn at an early age that gay relationships are more than just acceptable, but they’re also completely normal and should be accepted as such. And I’m more than willing to give Steven Universe credit for giving this trend the push that it needed, like other creators for these shows usually point fingers at it as well.

Is Steven Universe a perfect show? No. But that doesn’t mean I think it’s garbage. There are some legitimate faults that this series has, some of which I’m inclined to agree with. But with all the good it does and how much fun people have while watching it, I can’t really say I hate this series. If you think you’ll hate this show, you have every right to. I can’t change how you feel, but I can ask you to keep an open mind. Because who knows? You might be someone who will find the diamond in the rough of this series.

(Now that’s a pun you’ll be willing to appreciate by the time you reach season 5).

#top 20 of the 2010s #steven universe #steven universe future #what i thought about

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starry-knight-skies · 5 years ago

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Title: Are You Gonna Kiss Me Or Not? Part Summary: Roman’s crush on Virgil is developing rather quickly over the years and he’s having a hard time keeping his feelings to himself in fear of ruining their friendship. But one chilly evening in October, he decides to take a chance and who knows? Maybe Virgil feels the same Words: 1788 Part 1 / Part 2

Commission piece I did for @space-captain-lars Commission Info If you like what you read, consider supporting me on Ko-fi

After that first magical encounter, Roman and Virgil started a tentative friendship that quickly grew into something close when they discovered a lot of shared interests, like their love for Disney, the arts, and though Virgil would vehemently deny it, musical theater. It’s led to late night discussions and sleepovers at each other’s houses, and it wasn’t long before Roman could proudly proclaim that Virgil was one of his very nearest and dearest friends.

There was also the little problem of his little crush on Virgil. What started as a small flame in fifth grade grew to a full blaze by the time they hit high school and his feelings were getting harder to hide. The more he learned about him, the more time they spent together, the quicker he fell. But if Roman was one thing, he was determined, and he was going to use that determination to keep his feelings close to his chest and not let Virgil know in fear of ruining this wonderful friendship they found themselves in. What if he confessed and Virgil didn’t feel the same? He’d ruin this easy camaraderie and that was something he couldn’t bear to see happen.

So what if one of his favorite things to do was to make Virgil laugh, to see a smile stretch across that beloved face and his eyes scrunch up in delight. So what if the sound of his laughter was in his top five favorite sounds? He most certainly not pining, thank you very much Remus! Except even though he would deny it, he knew it was true. Hell, everyone probably knew, except for Virgil. And that was okay, really. If he repeats it enough times, maybe he’ll start to believe it.

It was hard though when they’re sitting out on the roof of Virgil’s garage, his bedroom window open behind them and soft music playing the Hamilton soundtrack from Virgil’s laptop. It was a weekly ritual they’ve taken up since starting high school, every Friday night they’d hang out at one of their houses, doing homework together and just spending one on one time together after the stresses of the week. Once they finished any homework or project, they might put on a movie, to sit outside and just talk about anything and everything that comes to mind, or play silly little games to just screw around and have fun.

Like on this fine Friday evening, the second weekend in October and the air is crisp, and the leaves were beginning to change colors on the trees. Virgil had climbed out onto the roof without his hoodie, and Roman, being the generous soul that he was, offered up his letterman jacket for him to wear instead. It was a bit too broad in the shoulders, and the sleeves went past his hands, but the sight of him in it, with his My Chemical Romance shirt and spiderwebs skirt, made Roman’s heart skip a beat and he was more than okay with being a little cold if it meant he got to sit here beside such a sight.

“Okay… Would you rather kiss Alex from the Drama Club or Logan?” The game of choice for tonight was picking two of their classmates and picking who’d they’d rather kiss, whether on the cheek or otherwise was up for debate. They’ve been at it for a good thirty minutes and weren’t allowed to pick the same person twice, so they were beginning to run out of options.

Virgil hummed thoughtfully, leaning back on his arms as he watched the sun slowly sinking over the horizon. The way the light made his eyes glisten was a little distracting and Roman almost didn’t hear his answer. “I’d have to ask Patton first, but I’d give Logan a kiss on the cheek if he’d let me.”

Roman nodded in understanding, knowing he would have picked the same thing if he had been asked. Logan joined their little friend group around the beginning of freshman year and Patton took to him rather quickly despite his standoffish behavior. No one knew how it happened, but Patton bounced into school one morning and announced that they were dating and he’s been so happy ever since. Logan was also slowly learning to be more open about his feelings, even though he did prefer his space, but being around Patton was good for him. They were good for each other.

“Would you rather kiss Patton or Dorian?” Virgil asked, turning to look at Roman with a raised eyebrow like he already knew the answer. And he did, because it was obvious.

“Patton, of course! Who wouldn’t want to kiss that happy ball of sunshine?” Roman waved a hand through the air dramatically to help emphasize his point. It really was obvious, Patton was one of his dearest friends. Dorian was an asshole who liked to pick on the love of his life. There was no contest.

Virgil huffed out a laugh, dropping back to lay back flat on the roof, arms cushioned behind his head as he looked up at the sky. Roman watched him fondly for a moment before deciding to take a chance, be bold and ask the question he really wanted to know the answer to. Nerves twisted in his stomach, but he pushed them down and squared his shoulders. “Would you rather kiss… me or Remus?”

“Remus of course.” Virgil answered without hesitation, giving a little shrug, and Roman felt his heart sink. “There’s just something about the way he always smells like a mix of nacho cheese and cinnamon that just really appeals to me.”

“Oh, yeah. Of course. That makes sense.” He was barely able to keep the disappointment of his voice and he wasn’t so sure he succeeded when Virgil turned to look at him.

Virgil huffed out a laugh, pushing himself to sit up fully and turn to face Roman fully. “You don’t actually think I’m serious, do you?” He let out a small, disbelieving sound when his question just got a little shrug in response. “Remus is so not my type, and I definitely do not want to fight Veronica for him.”

Roman couldn’t really fault him for that, if he was being honest. He didn’t want to fight her either. Veronica Clarke was on the kickboxing team and held the undefeated title since she joined freshman year. Remus and she have been dating since the summer before high school and he had once commented how he liked having a girlfriend who could kick his ass.

“I’d much rather kiss you.” Virgil said matter-of-factly before letting out a little sigh, crossing his legs and looking at Roman curiously. “Okay, last question before we head inside. Would you rather kiss Remy… or me?”

Roman will admit to being rather clueless in the past, but even he couldn’t mistake the blush slowly spreading across Virgil’s cheeks and he could feel his heart speeding up in anticipation. “What if I was to say I’d rather kiss Remy?” he asked, voice a little quieter than he would have liked.

“I’d say you’re lying.” Virgil leaned forward slightly, a shy, uncertain look in his eyes. “I might have been imagining it, but I was thinking, maybe, you might kind of like me?”

Roman’s heart was racing in his chest, had he really been that obvious? But wait… Virgil knew then? And was okay with it? He could feel his brain struggling to process the fact, feeling like it was almost too good to be true. “I.. um.. Yeah. Yeah, I do.”

Virgil gave a little nod, a small smile tugging on his lips. “Good, good.” He bit his lip, looking away a little shyly. “So…?” He trailed off.

Roman raised an eyebrow, heart melting a little at how cute Virgil looked. “So?” he prompted, leaning forward slightly, curiosity dancing in his eyes.

Virgil bit his lip, a little hesitant, more than a little shy. “Are you gonna kiss me or not?”

Sitting there, with Virgil, the setting sun hitting him just right and making him look like he was glowing, and Roman gladly tripped head over heels into fully in love with him. He wasted no more time, lifting a hand to gently cup Virgil’s chin, turning him towards him as he pressed their lips together. The kiss was light, chaste even, lasting only a few moments before they were pulling back and he rested their foreheads together. “You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that.” His heart was thrumming happily in his chest and he couldn’t help but smile, feeling so happy and content in this moment that he never wanted it to end.

Virgil huffed out a laugh, brushing their noses together gently. “I have an idea.” His voice was soft, and he shifted to press their lips together again for a longer kiss, an arm reaching up to wrap around Roman’s neck and hold him close.

This kiss lasted significantly longer and Roman could easily sit out here for hours if they could, just trading soft kisses and he’d happily whisper sweet words of love and adoration if he could. And he was about to, until a shot of cold water shot him in the side of the face and he jerked back with a gasp, turning to glare at the bedroom window and the grinning Remy who was holding a squirt gun, aiming it at them.

“Remy!” Virgil hissed, frowning at his twin in annoyance. “What the hell was that for?!” He had been enjoying that!

“Had to break up this little love-fest, but mom says it’s time for dinner and she wanted me to come get you.” Remy said with a little shrug, and stepping away from the window now that he’s completed his mission.

“That sneaky little -” Virgil’s annoyed mumbling was cut off by Roman stealing one last kiss before moving back, giving him a little smile. That little action resulted in a smile, so he considered it a win.

“Come on. We should get heading inside anyway.” The sun was almost fully over the horizon and once it was gone, it was going to get cold fast and Roman wanted to be nice and warm inside before then, maybe cuddled up to his boyfriend (?) and watching a movie before he had to head home.

Virgil let out a little sigh but agreed, moving to crawl back into the house and Roman followed. He moved to turn the music off when he stopped, finger hovering over the pause button as ‘Helpless’ played. ‘How fitting.’ He thought, a little smile on his face as he stopped the music, but continued to hum along as he followed Virgil downstairs.

#prinxiety #roman sanders #virgil sanders #sanders sides #my writing #commissioned writing #remy sanders

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sol1056 · 5 years ago

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hey! i noticed that you’ve written a lot about how voltron fails as a mecha series, and it got me curious about what a GOOD mecha series looks like. do you have any recs for someone whose only experience with the genre, quite literally, is voltron?

note: that is NOT where I wanted the cut. who knows what the devs are doing over there at tumblr hq.

-----

Welp, there’s more than one kind of mecha. There’s super robots -- where (in general) the robots are ultra-powered and relatively indestructible. Then there’s real robots, which will break down and/or run out of ammunition at the most dramatically critical moments. And then there’s a category that at best might be nearly-sentient robots, which have minds and motivations of their own -- but I wouldn’t say that’s a true category (in terms of the genre) so much as a distinction I've noted.

I’ve never been big into the super robot series (with a few exceptions), and I mostly find the combining robot genre to be frustrating. Former mechanic and engineer who currently works with AI, so a lot of the hand-wavey aspects are frustrating for me, especially in super robots where things mysteriously repair themselves and there’s never a struggle to upgrade/repair. (And don’t even get me started on the idea of controlling a bipedal reactive machine with only two foot pedals and a damn joystick.)

Which is all to say, I suppose I should recommend that you watch the classics, except I’m not really sure what they are because I’ve forgotten most of them. And frankly a lot of them are really shoddy animation by today’s standards, and life is too short to waste time on that. I’ll need to refer you along to other mecha fans to add their recommendations, instead.

Well, I can at least recommend Gundam and Macross, but that’s kind of like saying I recommend Doc Martens and Aididas -- that barely narrows it down, since there’s so many options within each brand. Everyone’s got their favorites in each, as do I, but any mecha series that’s stayed with me is one that found a way to either twist the core trope, or explored implications that other series glossed over.

Note: I’ve never seen any version of Eva, and never felt the urge to, either. Sorry. Ask someone else for input on that. Plus there’s also ones I’ll leave off here ‘cause they’re veering over into AI/robots/tech and less what would usually be called mecha, but they’re still worthwhile: Battle Fairy Yukikaze, Ghost in the Shell: Standalone Complex, Broken Blade, Last Exile, and Voices of a Distant Star all come to mind.

Gundam

For me, I adore the technical geeky touches in Gundam F91, but the story is total spaghetti, so you might want to skip that until you’re more familiar with the gundam tropes. (It was meant to be a series, iirc, got shut down, and they took the pieces and made a movie from it, so it’s... kind of compressed, to put it mildly).

Gundam Wing and Gundam 00 are considerably less geeky on the technical (though they do satisfy the mechanic itch, with a bit more real robot, at least on the technicalities). I like the international core cast, and the way each series explores geopolitical dynamics. (That said, skip the second season of Gundam 00. It just goes totally off the rails into some really wild and wacky directions.)

A long-running concept like Gundam is recognizable across the series thanks to core concepts, and in Gundam’s case it’s the conflicts between imperialism and colonialism, war versus justified rebellion, and pacifism versus a first-strike as self-defense. What I liked with Wing and 00, in particular, was its central pilots felt more tied to (and aware of) the political ramifications of their actions.

I did watch about half of Iron-Blooded Orphans, which struck out in a new direction by having Mars as the colony instead of the lagrange points, but didn’t bother finishing. From what I hear, watch it with a box of tissues, as it’s a return to the classic kill-em-all perspective of the original Gundam series.

Macross

I’m sure someone else will tell you to watch the original Macross (the american version being Robotech, albeit highly edited). I know lots of people adore the first Macross series, but it’s just too late-80s for me. (The hair, my god, the hair.)

Personally, I prefer Macross Frontier -- the amination is much improved, though the fact is I also adore the voices of Yuuichi Nakamura and Aya Endō. Macross has some politics, but it’s mostly internal -- that is, the opponents aren’t human, so whatever debate there is about who’s right or wrong is mostly one-sided, since we only ever see humans doing the talking.

I tried to watch Macross Delta but it just didn’t do it for me -- and therein lies some of the issues (for me) with both Gundam and Macross. Because both have some core elements that they tackle in every series, it can start to feel a bit repetitive.

For Macross it’s always music, Valkyries (the mecha type for Macross), and a love triangle -- which sometimes isn’t even resolved. (I’ve read all kinds of debates about whether Alto ends up with Sheryl or with Ranka, but the series leaves it open.)

A good writer can explore these themes over and over, but between the two, I personally think Gundam has done a bit better of pivoting to take a new angle with each series. But at the same time, Gundam is pretty consistent about not building on a previous series -- with a few notable exceptions, most of its series are alternate-universe stories to each other. In Macross, they’re all continuations of the previous -- so if you’re not into its setup about aliens and weird diseases and whatnot, you’re only going to get more of the same in the next series.

Everything else

So here’s the series I like, but I’m not sure all of these would be counted as ‘true’ mecha by other fans (a debate I mostly ignore, so I’ll leave it to others to argue about that).

Escaflowne -- one of the rare breed of fantasy-styled mecha (Broken Blade being another one that comes to mind). The animation is strongly 80s, but the voice acting is superb, the story (originally meant to be longer, then budget cuts forced a much longer story to squeeze into half the episodes it really deserved).

[It’s also a series I’d call a harbinger, similar to tripping over little-known movies from twenty years ago and realizing every single actor including walk-on parts went on to be massive names. Escaflowne’s got that, but that also extends to its animation team, its director, its composer, on and on. All of them went onto work on some of the greatest hits of anime. That makes Escaflowne immensely (if quietly and somewhat subtly) influential, both for the genre and animation overall.]

Eureka Seven -- another not-on-Earth story. At first the mecha movement -- almost like surfing in the sky -- was odd, but they took some interesting physics concepts and made them not just worldbuilding, but integral parts of the story. Okay, I’m not keen on how the female lead gets successively down-graded as the hero ramps up, but there are some emotional implications of Massive Destructive Machines where Eureka Seven lingers that a lot of other series gloss over.

Fafner in the Azure -- another aliens-against-humans, but first off, I’m gonna say it: you either love Hisashi Hirai‘s character designs or you want to torch them with total prejudice. If you can get past that, Fafner is brutal to its characters well beyond most other series, excepting the earliest Gundams. Although (of course) the pilots are all kids, there are in-story reasons, and there are still adults running the show. And there are consequences, small and large.

Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion -- because what would life be if we didn’t have at least one mecha series with character designs from CLAMP. (Which, admittedly, I loathe, but somehow it worked here.) Can’t speak for the second season, but the first season played up something a lot of mecha bypass for just plain banging on each other, which is strategy. It caught me at the time, at least.

Full Metal Panic -- watch this after watching Gundam Wing and/or Gundam 00, to get the tropes they’re playing on with Sousuke Sagara (the ostensible protagonist who just cannot seem to relate to real human beings). I saw one description of him as “about as well-adjusted as a feral child” and that kinda fits. It’s more real robots, and of course parts require some hardcore suspension of disbelief (the commanding officer who looks 14, sounds like she’s 12, and has boobs that never occur in nature on a frame that teeny). But all told, a lot of fun and plenty of explosions.

RahXephon -- this is another oddball one, because the mecha aren’t mecha, they’re golems (as in, creatures made from clay). For all that, there’s a lot of significant mecha influence and tropes at work. It’s held up pretty well, animation-wise, considering its age (from 2002). and while it’s the same ‘strange aliens attack earth’ plotline, it spins all that off in a completely different direction.

Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann (aka Gurren Lagann) -- don’t watch this one until you’ve seen plenty of others, though, because it’s a fondly affectionate send-up of nearly every possible trope from combining to super to real robots. Cranked up to eleven.

Knights of Sidonia -- of all the ones on this list, KoS is possibly my most favorite. It was an early all-CGI series, and a lot of people were turned off by that, but once you get used to it, the story can carry you along. Like Macross Frontier, it takes place in deep space, where a colony of humans fight for survival with an incomprehensible (and nearly unstoppable) alien foe. But KoS is true science fiction, with a lot of solid science driving its dramatic points. Also--unlike most of the others series--although the characters are technically human, they’ve also evolved as a result of their time in space. For one, they have three genders, for another, they don’t eat; they photosynthesize.

#mecha #sol thinks about stuff #recommendations

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sinfulwonders · 5 years ago

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I think prompt #82 would be cool! Anyway you’d want to take it. Maybe pregame where they both are at a party? Honestly I love your writing and I think you could do something cool with it! Fluff/Angst/NSFW whatever you’d like! Preferably a happy ending of some sort of possible! Thanks for the consideration!

Wow. I am so so SO sorry this took so ridiculously long to write. I hope you enjoy it anon. I had most of it written a while ago, but doing the WIP challenge I found it and decided to finish it! Again, so sorry it took forever. It’s ingame, not pregame, so I hope that’s okay!

The Party

Words: 4613

Prompt: 82. “You’re really drunk right now. I don’t think you’re gonna remember any of this.” “I’m not drunk at all. You’re just blurry.”

Summary: Shuichi goes to a party! Drunk shenanigans ensue!

“So, Saihara-kun, did you decide whether you are coming to my party tonight?” Shuichi jumped at the sudden presence of a young girl standing in front of his desk.

“A-akamastu-san,” Stuttered the startled detective, as Kaede leaned in inquisitively. “Umm, yes, I’ll be there.”

The ultimate pianist pumped a fist in the air in triumph. She turned around towards the other side of the classroom and shouted to a group of students talking and laughing amongst themselves.

“Saihara-kun said he’ll come tonight!”

“That’s what I like to hear from my sidekick!” responded Kaito, who proceeded to flash a smile and his signature thumbs up. Maki gave a curt nod of approval from next to him.

The rest of the students congregated near Kaito and Maki gave similar nods and words of praise followed by a few cheers of approval.

Shuichi blushed, “Me being there w-won’t make much of a difference on the party. I-it’s really not a big deal.” He felt himself hiding his face in the cap that rested loosely on his head.

Kaede could tell he was growing anxious from being the center of attention. She took his hand in her own and pulled him out of his chair.

She gave him a warm smile as he rose, and he slowly responded with a small, nervous grin.

“We’re all just thrilled that you’ve decided to hang out with us outside of school! There are no expectations of you at this party, we just want to hang out with you, Saihara-kun!”

Shuichi breathed a small sigh of relief as he felt his body relax just a bit. While attending Hope’s Peak High school for the past few months, he had managed to grow close with several of the students. He considered that an incredibly impressive feat, as he was terribly intimidated by his fellow Ultimates. After all, he never thought he deserved to be at the school, as his first case was a mistake that haunted Shuichi constantly. This inferiority complex accompanied with his social anxiety (especially in group settings), made hanging out with his classmates outside of school a fear-inducing scenario.

After a few words of encouragement from Kaito, the group began to go back to their previous conversation. Kaede nudged Shuichi and spoke quietly where only he could hear, “I’m so proud of you for going to this, and hopefully you’ll have a wonderful time! I know you’re nervous, but thank you for facing that fear for our sakes!”

Shuichi cringed at her sweet smile.

I wish my intentions were that pure.

Shuichi was not going to this party for Kaede. He was not going to this party for Kaito or Maki or any of his supportive friends. He was going strictly to investigate. There was a thorn at his side, an unexplainable enigma of a person that perplexed him. It was equally bothersome and intriguing, and when Shuichi caught wind that he would be attending Kaede’s party he had made up his mind to overcome his anxiety for a night and go to learn more.

This party isn’t a social event for me Kaede, I’m sorry. I just need to figure him out. I need to know his motives and what he’s thinking…Ko-

“Saihara-chan ̴!”

Speak of the devil.

Kokichi Oma, the Ultimate Supreme Leader, also known as a consistent source of Shuichi’s distress, skipped into the classroom, a childlike smile adorning his pale face as he made his way to the detective. The green haired Rantaro Amami followed behind, sighing like an unenthusiastic babysitter.

“Oma-kun…I t-told you, that name’s too girly for me…” Shuichi sighed, knowing that insisting that Kokichi use proper honorifics for the umpteenth was useless.

“Well kun is way too harsh to describe a pretty boy like you!” Kokichi spoke in a sing-song tone, but his face held a mischievous smirk.

Shuichi blushed involuntarily and Kokichi’s eyes lit up.

“Is my beloved Saihara-chan falling for me?” After the words left his mouth he suddenly got closer and his eyes face darkened as he whispered, “What happens if the detective falls for the supreme leader of evil?”

“O-oma-”

“Nyeheehee!” His face was back to his regular devious smile, and he leaned back from the detective, hands resting behind his head, “As much fun as it is to torture you, I actually came because Rantaro told me that you were coming to the piano nerd’s party tonight!”

Rantaro shrugged as Shuichi looked at him. The green haired boy had an unnatural talent for being the first to know anything. He always had the most popular music, clothes, and anything else that was trendy months before it became mainstream.

Maybe Rantaro should have been known as the Ultimate Hipster instead of the Ultimate Adventurer… But wait, he wasn’t even here for that conversation! How did he-

Rantaro, seeing Shuichi’s confused expression, lazily nodded in the direction of a tall boy sitting in the back of the classroom, “Shinguji texted me.”

“Oh okay…” Shuichi responded, not knowing that the two were even friends. He turned back to Kokichi, “Yeah, I’m going to the party.”

Kokichi’s face lit up, “That’s great! I’m so happy I won’t even poison your drink like I was planning! I’ll still poison Miu’s though, since I heard that doing random acts of kindness helps build a stronger community! I mean freeing everyone from a long-term headache is pretty kind, don’t you think?”

“Shut up, Cock-kichi!” screamed the abrasive inventor, running over to the boy at the sound of her name.

The two started flinging vulgar insults at each other and Shuichi decided that that was a good enough distraction to sneak away from the situation. As the detective took step out the classroom door, he glanced back at the two fighting. He locked eyes with Kokichi. The boy grinned that conniving grin as he mouthed:

“See you tonight.”

Shuichi rushed out of the room, irritated with Kokichi’s deliberate flirting just to take him off guard. He had a purely professional interest in Kokichi Oma. As a detective it was his duty to find out if any of his claims about running a massive evil organization and committing crimes were true. He didn’t think so, but he needed to figure out how to tell if Kokichi was lying. He wasn’t obsessing over a classmate.

I have a moral obligation.

He told himself that as he had watched the supreme leader during class the entirety of last week. Shuichi sat behind him, so it was natural for him to look that direction. He had watched how he interacted with different people, physical reactions, and facial features, but hadn’t come to any clear conclusion on the boy having a ‘tell’. He wished he had more opportunities to stare into Kokichi’s large violet eyes, not because he thought they were mesmerizing, but to get a read on the boy of course. It also didn’t help that Shuichi had no baseline. Since Kokichi lied about everything, there were no clear truths or lies to base a pattern from. Kokichi was truly a mystery for Shuichi to solve. A mystery Shuichi needed to solve.

A mystery wrapped in white cotton and soft purple hair, smelling slightly of lavender.

And so it was in his unquestionably professional interest that he attended the party that night.

--------------

He arrived at the venue an hour after the party began, as he had read somewhere that that’s the cool thing to do. Rantaro opened the door, holding a red solo cup in hand and smiling wider than Shuichi had ever seen him before.

“Welcome to my humble abode!” he swayed, definitely tipsy.

Although Kaede was throwing the party, Rantaro had offered his off campus flat (special permission was given to him by the school to stay there instead of the dorms) as a venue for the party. It seems that one of the benefits was that the students could drink freely without worry of getting caught drinking on campus.

“Come on in, make yourself at home! Drinks are over in the kitchen!” Rantaro sauntered off, zigzagging through the many people contained in the modestly sized flat.

So. Many. People.

There were more people than just Shuichi’s classmates. It seemed as the entirety of Hope’s Peak was crammed into the two bedroom apartment. The music blared and a blur of unrecognizable faces practically swallowed the detective. He inhaled sharply.

You can do this.

He nervously stepped into the mass of people, following the flow of steps and desperately looking for any friendly faces. His panicked anxiety causing him to forget his true motive for being here almost immediately. He ended up in the kitchen, the sound of Kaito’s loud voice drew him like a magnet.

“Damn it, how’d you win again?” Kaito yelled, an exasperated Maki lightly holding him back from flipping over the beer pong table.

The fluffy haired blonde at the other end of the table smiled kindly at the shouting astronaut, “I’m sure you’ll beat me next game! I’m worthless, nothing compared to an actual ultimate such as yourself!” the boy’s eyes got wider and more wild and Shuichi took a step back instinctively, “My luck is bound to run out soon, so when it does please use me as a stepping stone to bring hope to every beer pong enthusiast in the universe!!!!!” He cackled.

“Komaeda, you need to chill with giving that hope speech to everyone we meet… you’re really hurting our friend retention rate,” a brunette male mused next to the still manically laughing blonde. He took the boy’s hand and said quieter, “Also… you’re not worthless.”

Little did the brunette know, that Kaito was too competitive to back down from a challenge, even one from a self-deprecating hope-enthusiast.

“Oh it’s on! Maki Roll, you ready to play one more round and beat this punk?” Maki sighed in anguish and glanced up, locking eyes with Shuichi.

“Saihara!” she said uncharacteristically enthusiastically, “You just got here right?”

“Hey guys, yeah I just got here,” Shuichi walked up to the pair.

“Perfect. Kaito, meet your new partner.”

“Eh? But-” Shuichi was instantly silenced by the intense glare Maki shot him. She quickly pushed the two closer and dashed off, avoiding various people and obstacles with reflexes faster than what should be capable of the ultimate child caregiver.

“Haha! I guess Maki Roll got sick of me!” Kaito chuckled, “I guess we have been playing for a while now... but this kid is just so annoyingly lucky… That’ll change soon if I keep playing!”

I need to remind myself to never take Kaito gambling.

It turns out that Kaito and Maki had been playing beer pong since the party began.

No wonder she got out of there. I guess I’m stuck now, but this is way better than standing around not knowing what to do with my body.

Nagito threw the first ball, and it plopped softly into a cup.

“Newbies take the first drink!” Kaito cheered, patting his sidekick on the back. Shuichi sighed and took a drink of the amber liquid. The cheap beer went down his throat with only a mildly repulsive aftertaste.

And, as an added bonus: For the first time since he arrived, Shuichi was able to loosen up a bit.

And he continued to loosen as the boys began their devastating losing streak to Nagito Komaeda and Hajime Hinata.

“Prretty ssure we almosst had em that time,” Kaito slurred as he swayed at the end of the table, obviously drunk from spending two hours losing badly at beer pong and, as a consequence, drinking a lot of beer. Shuichi, having started much later, was not wasted but was still very tipsy.

“Kaito- Kaito I think we gotta be done. You’re too…you’re too drunk.” The detective stumbled over his words, struggling to sound as sober and authoritative as possible. The wasted Kaito agreed eventually, stumbling over to the couch when he saw that Maki was over there. Shuichi smiled and rolled his eyes at his friend’s predictable nature.

He watched him sit and talk with Maki and sighed in relief at being released from mom mode. He wandered around in the flat, no longer anxiety ridden. Shuichi felt confident, and also fuzzy, like everything was a little out of focus.

But mostly confident.

Shuichi suddenly noticed a black and white checkered scarf in the distance, a flash of purple entering what seemed to be Rantaro’s bedroom. Shuichi followed the boy in as much of a straight line as he could, to discover what he was doing. He peeked in to see Kokichi in the dimly lit room sprawled on the bed, scrolling through his phone, and very much alone. Kokichi quickly looked up and caught the not-so-sneaky-especially-while-drunk Shuichi staring at him in the doorway.

“I-I umm, hi Oma-kun.” Shuichi said, disappointed that he’d been discovered so easily.

“Saihara-chan, hi. Come to escape the noise, too?” His demeanor seemed different than at school as he sat up on the bed. Calm and quiet. But as his Shuichi entered the bedroom, his mask quickly reappeared, “Or did you come to be alone with me?” He crooned.

Shuichi rolled his eyes at the boy’s usual aggressive flirting to make him uncomfortable trick and plopped down on the mattress next to the supreme leader. Kokichi raised an eyebrow in interest.

“You’re a weird guy, Oma.” Shuichi stated, no malice in his voice, “I can’t figure you out.”

Kokichi laughed, “You just figured out that I’m unsolvable? Man, maybe you’re not the ultimate detective after all!”

“I wouldn’t say unsolvable. It’s certainly a pain though,” Shuichi sighed and fell backwards, letting his head hit the sheets.

“Then why do you keep trying?” Kokichi asked, head tilted like a puppy.

Shuichi stared at Kokichi for a second and laughed out loud. Kokichi looked taken off guard for once.

“You know, that’s a really great question,” Shuichi smiled up at the boy looking over him, “I keep avoiding that question myself, so I don’t think I could give you a good answer.”

Kokichi laid back on his back beside the detective, meeting his gaze.

“Ya know, most people are boring. They’re predictable and easy to figure out. I’m glad I don’t bore you, Saihara-chan.”

This time, hearing Kokichi call him Saihara-chan didn’t seem to bother Shuichi. Kokichi said it like it was an endearing nickname.

Kokichi continued, speaking quieter, “And you know… you’re not boring either. To me I mean.”

As weird as it was, it seemed that Kokichi had given the detective an honest compliment. It didn’t seem backhanded or sarcastic, unless Kokichi was a much better liar than Shuichi had previously suspected.

The detective couldn’t help but blush a little.

The two boys laid there in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, but soon enough Kokichi jumped to his feet, his mischievous smile once again plastered on his face.

“We better hurry back, or we’ll look pretty suspicious! Alone in a bedroom like this! What will your dear Kaito say?”

Shuichi rolled his eyes and stood to his feet, instantly remembering that he had a lot to drink as the room shook slightly, “Yeah let’s go.”

The two boys exited the room to find the flat much emptier than a few minutes prior.

“How long were we in there?” Shuichi wondered out loud.

Shuichi and Kokichi made their way to the kitchen, and after being forced into taking shots with a drunk Kaede and Rantaro, the two told them that after learning that Rantaro’s apartment complex had a volleyball court, a large chunk of drunk students had gone to play a game.

“Well, I say game, but Akane Owari, from the other class, is ready for war,” Rantaro sighed, “She challenged Nidai to a volleyball showdown and things may have gotten a little out of hand when someone suggested it be boys vs girls. Needless to say, Chabashira is out for blood…”

Shuichi winced when he heard that. Tenko was ready for any chance to bring the population of degenerate males down a peg or two.

“Well what’s the plan now Amami-kun?” Kaede asked, a little disappointed that so many people had left her party at once.

“Well there’s still a bunch of people around,” Rantaro noted as he looked at the no longer packed apartment, “So we could always play a group game.”

“Like truth or dare or something?” Kaede asked, eyes lighting up.

“Ugh, truth or dare sucks,” Kokichi groaned, “half the game is so boringgggg. Why don’t we play dare or drink?”

“Dare or drink?” Shuichi lifted an eyebrow.

“Yeah! My organization created it to get rid of the worst part of truth or dare: the truth! Of course we used play a slightly different version… ‘Dare or Die’…but we had to switch it up because we were losing too many people!”

The three others sighed at Kokichi’s outrageous lies. At least Shuichi was pretty sure it was a lie. But the group agreed and Kaede gathered a group of people together. Shuichi happily accepted Rantaro’s offer of another shot. He let out a hiccup and a small giggle as he poured a drink for the game, which caused Kokichi to scan his narrowed eyes over the boy.

“Are you good, Saihara-chan?”

Shuichi saw what he surmised to be genuine concern on the boy’s face.

This is my chance to get back at him!

“Aww, are you worried about me…Oma-chan?” Shuichi mimicked Kokichi’s usual sing-song tone, and even copied his use of chan. He stuck his tongue out at the boy when he didn’t receive a reply, and he sauntered off towards the gathering group of teens. He smiled to himself that he had been the one to catch Kokichi off guard for once. He didn’t know that the supreme leader had stayed back to hide his red face from him and the others.

-----------

Soon, the students that hadn’t gone to play or watch the volleyball war taking place outside were gathered in a circle to play ‘Dare or Drink’.

“I am so thrilled to experience a classic game from your culture! I am ready to absorb as much information as I can about this ‘Dare or Drink’ for the people of Novoselic!” shouted a very excited Sonia Nevermind.

“Umm…Miss Sonia…it’s not actually a classic game, Oma-kun made it u-” Kazuichi Soda attempted to correct the princess but was interrupted by a still very drunk Kaito.

“Soda! I dare you to write out an embarrassingly sexy text and send it to a random contact in your phone.”

And so the group began their game of dare or drink.

--------------

Shuichi could barely remember why he had ever been nervous to hang out with his classmates outside of school.

With alcohol involved this is easy!

“Saihara,” Rantaro purred, “I dare you to kiss a guy in this room.”

Never mind. This is awful.

“H-huh? W-who?” Shuichi stuttered as he glanced around the room.

Rantaro hummed at the question, then a sly smile overtook his face, “Pick the guy you think is the cutest…”

Shuichi focused his mind a bit, and thought.

Do I find any of my classmates cute? I mean Momota is an attractive guy, but I just think that in a best friend kinda way, plus he’s really not my type. Amami is attractive, but I don’t think he’s anything compared to Oma, I mean his cute face and those eyes… Wait a second…

Do I like Oma?

He looked over at the boy, who was now giving him a sultry stare and licking his lips.

“I choose drink!” Shuichi blurted out, his face now beet red.

“Aww even drunk Saihara-chan is a prude! How predictable!” Kokichi laughed as Shuichi chugged the rest of his mixed drink.

He couldn’t help but be more than a little hurt by the words of his newly realized crush. Even if said crush didn’t realize his new status.

I mean I came to this party for him, after all. Even if he doesn’t know it. That’s pretty rude.

Because it was true. Although Shuichi’s intentions had been ‘purely professional’, he had indeed come to this party to get to know the supreme leader. And now here he was being accosted by the one and only. That pissed drunk Shuichi off.

“Oh yeah? Well let’s see how you do with the same dare,” Shuichi tried to glare as menacingly as possible at the boy sitting across from him, which only was effective at making Kokichi laugh harder, “I dare you to kiss the cutest boy in the room.”

“Is repeating dares even allowed?” muttered a monotone Maki, but Rantaro shushed her quickly.

“My house, my rules. And I say yes,” He smirked.

“Aww but I can’t kiss myself Saihara-chan! So I guess I can’t do your dare! So sad!” Kokichi gave the detective a dramatic sigh and a pout.

Shuichi didn’t back down, “You can’t count yourself, Oma-kun.”

“Psh. As long as you agree that I’m the cutest one,” Kokichi sang as he stood up and sauntered around the room, lingering on each and every guy sitting around the circle. While inspecting them he announced, “And don’t worry, I’m not gonna wimp out like Saihara-chan! I take this dare very seriously!”

Shuichi rolled his eyes as he popped open a beer that was sitting nearby.

“Eenie meenie miney-” Kokichi lilted nonchalantly as he made his way around the circle. He stopped in front of Shuichi and grinned, “Mo.”

“Eh?”

“We gotta get rid of this emo hat!” Kokichi plopped in front of the detective and quickly removed the hat placed on his head, much to the other’s dismay, “Yep I was right! Saihara-chan really is the prettiest boy here!”

“Wh-what?!” Shuichi stammered. He saw Rantaro chuckling in the background while Maki and Kaito watched the two with abject horror.

“Wwwwhat, you didn’t know you were cute? Were you born in that hat or something? Have you never seen your eyes?” As he bombarded the detective with questions he leaned in closer to the detective’s ears and whispered, “If you really don’t want me to kiss you, just say so. I won’t.”

Shuichi thought about it for a moment and then quickly shook his head, “N-no. It’s fine. Go ahead.”

Kokichi smirked at the answer, “That’s what I wanted to hear.”

He dove onto Shuichi, effectively knocking him onto his back and slammed his lips onto the detective’s. It was a powerful kiss, and at the impact of the ground behind him and Kokichi’s lips on his own, Shuichi let out a gasp. This proved to be the perfect moment for Kokichi to quickly push his tongue into the other’s mouth. Their tongues danced around one another in a strange tangled tango; it was saliva heavy and warm, but decidedly not unpleasant in the slightest.

Shuichi wasn’t sure when he had wrapped his arms around Kokichi, but he had, pulling the smaller closer to him, needing to feel his body heat near his. The smaller had his arms around his neck, his fingers instinctually kneading and caressing the nape. This, along with the feeling of tongues twisting and swirling against one another in his mouth, caused Shuichi to let out an embarrassing moan.

With that Kokichi immediately pulled off of him, untangling his arms and quickly throwing them behind his head. He smirked, “And that, ladies and gentleman: is how it’s done.”

Rantaro, Soda, Sonia, and several others whooped and clapped for the boy. Oma proceeded to bow dramatically as a red-faced and still panting Shuichi finally managed to sit up.

Well that really didn’t go how I intended it to go… but…damn.

Shuichi stared at the supreme leader, now laughing and daring Kaede to do something embarrassing. He wasn’t listening, his eyes just focusing on Kokichi’s lips.

Those lips just…kissed me…

Shuichi quickly inhaled the rest of his beer as a distraction.

--------------

Rantaro let out a yawn and quietly said, “I think the game is over.”

It really was. The game of Dare and Drink had quickly devolved into a sort of spin the bottle type game, where all the dares now had to do with kissing someone. Shuichi was thankful that he had not been forced to kiss anyone else besides the one time with Kokichi. He didn’t want the flavor of grape chapstick to fade.

As the group dispersed, Shuichi stood and instantly regretted it. The room spun around him and he had trouble balancing. A hangover was inevitable in his near future.

“Ah, Rantaro. Can I crash here?” Shuichi asked wearily, and the green-haired boy smiled cooly in return and said of course.

At least now I don’t have to worry about getting home.

Shuichi thought that while finishing off his umpteenth beer. That’s when he noticed Kokichi alone on the couch. He wandered over, in as straight of a line as he could, and plopped down next to the boy. Kokichi glanced up and grinned, “Just couldn’t get enough of me Saihara-chan?”

“Hmm. Maybe I just felt bad for you,” Shuichi hummed, “You’re sitting all by yourself.”

Kokichi stuck out his tongue and Shuichi couldn’t help but eye it a bit hungrily, “Or maybe you were just desperate for another kiss! Well that’s just too bad, Saihara-chan. You shouldn’t have wimped out on your dare! You could have gotten a second kiss with moi!”

Shuichi frowned, “You seem awfully convinced that I would have chosen you for my dare.”

Kokichi feigned shock, placing his hand over his heart like an overdramatic actor, “Are you saying you wouldn’t pick me?! I’m hurt! Wounded even!” His expression instantly changed to boredom, “But that’s a lie, of course.”

“Which part?”

“Who knows?” Kokichi giggled, “Does it even matter?”

Shuichi decided that this was his chance to catch Oma off guard. He smirked and leaned in, whispering in Kokichi’s ear much like he had done right before he kissed him, “It does matter. And for the record, I would have chosen you, Oma-chan.”

The usually unflappable Kokichi Oma paled and then quickly turned several shades of red. Shuichi took this as his chance and placed a quick peck on Kokichi’s lips, “There. That’s for my dare.”

Kokichi, still red faced but desperately trying to reassemble his mask, chuckled, “You’re really drunk right now. I don’t think you’re gonna remember any of this.”

Shuichi chuckled back, and dragged his finger lightly along Kokichi’s jawline, “I’m not drunk at all. You’re just blurry.”

“You really let loose tonight, Saihara-chan,” Kokichi mused as the two got closer and closer, as if being pulled together by some magnetic force.

As they neared Shuichi pulled Kokichi into another passionate kiss, not really caring if anyone else saw. Kokichi quickly broke it and looked at Shuichi, eyes wide.

“How are you planning on getting home tonight?” There was no ill-intent in the words, but rather just genuine concern, an emotion very rarely seen from Kokichi.

“Amami-kun is letting me stay the night.”

Kokichi laughed out loud at that, then muttered, “That meddling bastard.” Shuichi cocked an eyebrow and Kokichi sighed and continued, “Rantaro. There’s only two beds. One for him and one for me. Or at least that’s what he told me yesterday. How convenient that he’s suddenly ‘selflessly’ offered for you to stay!”

Shuichi shook his head, “I don’t know about that, I mean I asked… Also I can always sleep on the couch-”

Kokichi scoffed at the very idea, “No way. No way is Saihara-chan lowering himself to sleep on some dirty old couch. Eww. Nope, it’s decided!” Kokichi looped his arm through Shuichi’s own and dragged the wobbly boy to the guest bedroom, “You’re staying with me tonight!”

“I suppose I can live with that.”

#oumasai #requests #kokichi ouma #shuichi saihara #omasai #saiouma #saioma #danganronpa

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thecorpulentbeagle · 5 years ago

Text

Okujima Week 2020: Metaverse

This part is going to take place in the Persona Q2 universe. If you don’t know the plot of this game, don’t worry! I will be giving background in the descriptions of this story so that you have a relative idea of what is going on. Essentially, the casts of P3, P4 and P5 are all together in a cinema labyrinth, trying to figure out how to escape. Of course, they fight some enemies here and there!

If you are playing this game and do not want to be spoiled, I will let you know that this story will require knowledge past beating the fourth labyrinth, as there will be mention of an F.O.E. from this labyrinth.

If you haven’t played this game, I highly recommend it! I had a blast playing it, and the first game (Persona Q) is fun as well. Both games are standalone, though, so you don’t have to play the first to understand the second.

But enough rambling out of me!

Here is the fanfiction.net link.

Please enjoy this fourth part of the Okujima Week 2020 Challenge!

As always: THIS STORY WILL NOT CONTAIN SPOILERS FOR PERSONA 5 ROYAL, BUT WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS FOR PERSONA 5.

Okujima Week 2020 Challenge:

Showing Strength:

Metaverse

-Makoto-

“Everyone ready?”

The four Persona-users nodded their heads at their current leader, signaling their agreement.

Akira, clad in his Joker outfit, nodded back. “Then let’s take him down!” He stepped forward, the rest of the group following behind him.

“It’s gonna be a one-hit KO!” Akihiko shouted, slamming a fist into his gloved hand.

“One good kick will send it flying!” Chie cheered back, kicking the air in front of herself a few times.

Makoto shook her head in amusement as she watched the two. The special screening mission that had been assigned to them had involved finding a strong enemy to defeat for the battle-enthusiasts of the group. It had been called “Let Your Fists Do the Talking”, and Chie and Akihiko had taken this to heart (even though Chie would be using her legs and feet).

Makoto had decided to join in as well, hoping to devise a training regimen for them, seeing as they had asked her for just that earlier. The mission so far had gone relatively smoothly, even though this labyrinth in particular was extremely creepy and disorienting.

Everything in it was cute… at least on the surface. There was an underlying… disturbing quality to everything, and this enemy that they were about to engage was no exception.

According to Futaba, it was called Mr. Bear, and it certainly looked like one. It was a tiny stuffed teddy bear, and it would skip around the labyrinth.

However, once it skipped for a few moments, it would transform into a grotesque form, tripling in size and turning into more of a buff grizzly bear. It was certainly nothing like the Buchimaru-kun stuffed animals that Makoto had collected in her room.

Futaba also let them know that its power readings were off the charts (she had originally screamed something about it being “over 9,000”, and it had sounded like the young girl was quoting something, though Makoto had no idea what).

Luckily, Akira had decided to pack the team with powerhouses that were relatively agile as well. Seeing as the screening was tailor-made for Akihiko, Makoto, and Chie, the three were obviously in. Since Akira had been leading the group for this journey, he decided to come along as well.

After several minutes of debate, Akira decided to bring Haru along. Though she was slow with her axe, when her strikes did connect, the damage was a sight to behold. The girl also had the most health out of anyone, so she could take hits if necessary.

Makoto was glad that Haru would be coming along, as the two had great chemistry when it came to battle. They also had great chemistry off of the battlefield, but that fact wasn’t as important now.

Though the brawler was happy that her girlfriend would be accompanying them, she was also slightly nervous. She didn’t want Haru to get hurt, as Akira had warned them all that it was very likely for everyone in the group to sustain potentially life-threatening injuries in this particular battle. Everyone had signed on willingly, but Makoto couldn’t help but worry.

As the group approached the transformed bear, Makoto lifted up a hand and squeezed Haru’s shoulder. “Be careful, alright?”

Haru turned to look at her. Makoto saw that, while Haru had been quiet for most of this mission, her expression was now alight with a sadistic gleam, her eyes sparkling and her smile in an upturned grin. This wasn’t entirely unusual, as Haru delighted in slaying Shadows. However, it was a little worrisome to see after telling her to not be reckless.

When she noticed Makoto looking at her strangely, her features returned to something more normal.

“Of course, Queen. You be careful too,” she murmured.

Makoto nodded. She knew Haru had a tendency to attack with reckless abandon, which usually worked in their favor. However, Makoto had a particularly bad feeling about this enemy, so she wanted to make sure that Haru was brutal, but still careful.

She let go of the girl’s shoulder as Akira threw a dagger at the bear, causing him to roar and charge at them.

“Everyone, get in position!” Akira yelled.

Makoto and Akihiko readied their fists, while Chie began to jump back and forth between both legs, warming them up. Haru lifted up her axe, and Akira brandished his dagger.

Mr. Bear roared, appearing to charge up energy.

“Watch out, guys! It looks like the enemy’s gonna hit you really hard soon,” Futaba warned, her voice crackling with static as she projected back from their base.

“Got it, Oracle.” Akira stood to guard and instructed everyone else to do so.

It seemed that this was a solid plan, as Mr. Bear flailed and struck everyone in the party. Makoto grunted as she sustained damage, and heard everyone else do the same.

“Damn it,” Akihiko growled. “The thing’s got a heck of a punch.”

Makoto didn’t want the group to be reckless. It wasn’t worth getting killed over just to complete a mission that had been devised for entertainment. “Oracle! What are our chances with this?”

Meanwhile, Haru had swung her axe and connected with her target. Blood gushed out of the bear’s arm as he roared in pain. Makoto’s stomach dropped when she saw that his glare focused on the axe-wielder.

Luckily, Chie sent a kick its way, which disoriented the creature and caused his focus to be split between the two.

“I’d say you have a 60% chance with how it’s going right now,” Futaba answered.

“What?” In her panic, Makoto had nearly forgotten that she had asked Futaba a question. That was dangerous. She couldn’t afford to get distracted – it could literally be the difference between life and death. Shaking her head, she responded, “Thanks, Oracle.” She called out Johanna to increase the defense of the party, seeing as Mr. Bear’s hits were dealing an alarming amount of damage.

60%. Those weren’t good odds. Even so, Makoto had a duty to listen to Akira and support her allies.

The battle raged on for a few more turns. Mr. Bear had finally started to show signs of damage, but everyone on the team was a mess. Futaba was frantically healing what she could, but her support had its limits.

Makoto was sure that if this were a battle in the real world, they would all probably have broken bones, if not worse. The damage was so great, that she could easily see some of them being dead.

She struck a quick uppercut with her right fist, grunting with exertion. It was like punching a brick wall.

As if hearing her inner thoughts, Mr. Bear proceeded to plow into the team, the force feeling like a ton of bricks falling on them.

“This isn’t good,” Akira muttered. Chie and Akihiko were barely able to stand upright, and Akira didn’t look much better. Haru seemed to be faring the best, though even she looked utterly exhausted. Makoto herself knew that the group couldn’t sustain another attack like that.

“Guys, I’m not gonna have enough energy to heal you again.” Futaba appeared to be panicking. “It’s not worth it. You need to run. Now!”

“No! It’s almost down. We’ve gotta finish this.” Akihiko blindly swung a fist, missing the beast. He stumbled and fell.

“Crap, I don’t have enough health to strike him hard!” Chie shouted. She put her hands to her knees, breathing heavily.

“Queen, can you heal any of us? Or do we have any items?” Akira turned to look at her, his eyes pleading.

Makoto nodded. “No more items, but I think I have enough energy to heal one person.”

“Got it, heal –”

A devastating roar cut off what Akira was about to say. Makoto looked back at the enemy to see that it was preparing to strike.

“Shit!”

Mr. Bear swung with its arms, hitting the ground in front of him. Makoto saw that Akira had blocked, but that Chie and Akihiko were not going to react in time.

Makoto raised her arms to defend herself, but she knew that this hit would end her. She closed her eyes.

But they opened in shock when she heard a cry of pain directly in front of her. She saw with horror that Haru had leaped in front of her, shielding her with her body.

Unfortunately, Haru had not had any time to defend herself, so she took the full force of the attack. She flew back into Makoto, knocking her off of her feet and sending both of them to the ground.

Luckily, Haru seemed to have dropped her axe when she jumped in front of Makoto, otherwise the blade would have impaled them both.

But Makoto didn’t care about that now.

“Noir! Noir! Haru!” Makoto cried, sitting up with the girl in her arms. She didn’t move.

“Queen! We need to finish this fight now!” Makoto vaguely heard Akira in the background, but she couldn’t take her eyes off of Haru.

She couldn’t believe it. The two had talked about defending the other with their lives, but Makoto had always assumed that she would be protecting Haru, as she had done so several times in the past. Not that the other girl couldn’t take care of herself, because anyone with eyes could see that she could do that in spades. It was because Makoto never wanted to be in a situation where Haru would have to risk her life for her.

“Useless!” she thought to herself.

“Queen!” She felt her shoulder being grabbed roughly. She snapped out of her thoughts and looked up at Akira, who was looking at her with an expression of forced calm. “Noir, Akihiko, and Chie are all down. We need to destroy this enemy, or we’ll be next.”

Makoto nodded. She took one last glance at Haru before setting her gently down on the ground. “Thank you…” she murmured.

“I’ve boosted your attack. Give ‘em hell, you two!” Futaba cheered.

Makoto cracked her knuckles as she felt power swell within. “With pleasure,” she growled.

She launched herself at the creature, punching it twice with all of her might. Mr. Bear roared in pain as it reared back, dazed.

“Ha!” Akira jumped at the beast, taking advantage of its distraction as he slashed at his eyes, blinding it.

“Queen, now!” Akira commanded.

Makoto roared just like the beast before throwing a haymaker at Mr. Bear’s head, slamming it down. The ground shook as it collided, and it gave one last deafening cry before it was silent.

Makoto and Akira looked at each other, both breathing heavily. “Nice work, Queen,” Akira murmured, smiling gently at her.

Makoto nodded. “You as well.” Her eyes widened as her adrenaline returned to normal and she remembered why she had become so enraged in the first place. “Noir!”

She ran over to the girl, who appeared to still be unconscious. She knelt down, dropped her weapons to the ground, and gently lifted Haru’s upper body onto her lap, her previous violent rage replaced with a gentle and worried touch. “Haru…” Makoto whispered.

“Ngh…” Haru’s eyes were still closed, but it seemed like she wasn’t entirely unconscious anymore. Her eyebrows were furrowed, and Makoto could see a sheen of sweat on her forehead. Not that that was particularly unusual, given how hard they had all been fighting. Makoto herself was practically drenched.

“Queen.” Makoto looked up to see Akira standing a few feet away, looking down at her with a concerned expression. “How is she?”

She looked back down at her girlfriend, who was continuing to make sounds of pain. “Not good,” she said simply.

Akira gave a deep sigh. “Akihiko and Chie aren’t doing much better.”

Makoto quickly glanced over at the other two members of their party. They were both unconscious, but the rise and fall of their chests proved that they were still alive.

“You guys! That was awesome!” Makoto jumped a little at Futaba’s sudden exclamation. “Mr. Bear is no more!”

“Thanks, Oracle.” Akira rubbed the back of his neck.

Makoto simply nodded in acknowledgement before looking back down at Haru, whose teeth were gritted. She couldn’t stand to see her in so much pain.

“We’re gonna need to head back –”

Makoto interrupted Akira’s instructions as she stood up, cradling Haru in her arms. As soon as she was up, she realized that this might have been a mistake. Her own muscles were burning from exertion, and she could feel the wobbliness in her knees from having to support the weight of two people.

“I’ll get Noir. Can you handle the others?” Makoto indicated the two other members of their party with a quick jerk of her head.

“Queen. We can just have Oracle teleport us back you know.” Despite the situation, Akira gave Makoto a slight smirk.

“O-Oh. Right. Of course.” She could feel the heat building up behind her mask.

“But by all means, continue carrying your girlfriend bridal style. I don’t mind.” Akira snickered. “By the way, here’s her hat.” He plopped it down onto Haru’s head. Makoto hadn’t even realized that it had gone flying off when they had collided.

“Th-That’s not –”

“You’re such a sappy romantic, Queen! Who would’ve thought?” Futaba teased.

“Noir must have quite the effect on her.”

“Can we please leave now?” Makoto didn’t think she could take much more of this. Both the teasing and carrying Haru. It didn’t help matters that the rest of their large group was watching this scene unfold as a literal movie on screen.

“Got it!”

There was a flash of light.

The party of five arrived back at the lobby, with Akira’s, Makoto’s, and Haru’s Phantom Thieves disguises disappearing and turning back into their school uniforms.

With the little bit of energy Makoto had remaining, she dashed over to a free couch to deposit Haru onto it. She felt terrible as she essentially dropped the other girl, but it was all she could do before collapsing to the ground on her knees.

“Whoa! Take it easy, Makoto-san!” Rise was by her side in an instant. “Haru-san’s safe. We’ll make sure that we take care of her now.”

“We’ll need to take care of Akihiko-senpai and Chie-chan too!” Yukari appeared by her other side. She turned her head to look behind herself. “Can we get them on some couches?”

“On it!” Junpei picked up Akihiko and took him to another available couch, dropping him unceremoniously.

“Would you mind getting Chie, Kanji-kun?” Yukiko asked. She was kneeling by her best friend’s side.

“Leave it to me, Yukiko-senpai!” Kanji flexed his bicep before diving in to retrieve the girl.

Makoto watched the events unfold in a haze. She was mostly checking on the status of her teammates by instinct, and once she confirmed that they would all be okay, she turned her attention back to Haru.

“We’ll need to heal you up as well, Makoto-san.” Fuuka popped up behind her, resting a hand on Makoto’s shoulder.

Makoto shook her head. She didn’t need help right now.

“Hey, Fuuka.” Yukari stepped back. “Why don’t we get some healing stuff for them and bring it over?”

Rise jumped back as well. “Yeah! Let’s go!”

The three girls walked over to the concession stand, most likely to secure popcorn and hot dogs. No one really understood why these foods healed so well, but they decided a while ago not to question it.

Makoto turned back to Haru, who seemed to be waking up.

“Haru.” Makoto’s hand went to her cheek, slowly stroking it with her thumb.

“M-Mako-chan?” Haru murmured. Her eyes were still closed.

“Yes. I’m here, Haru.”

“We won?”

“Yes. Yes we did.”

Haru opened her eyes slowly. They were glassy, and it seemed like she was having trouble processing everything around her. Once she made eye contact with Makoto, however, she smiled tiredly.

“I’m glad you’re okay.”

“Haru…” Makoto teared up. She had known that Haru was going to make it as soon as the battle was over, but seeing her take such a devastating hit made her think… even for the briefest moment… that she might not ever see Haru open her eyes again.

“Hey now. It’s going to be o-ah!” Haru winced in pain as she leaned up. She had probably been trying to reach Makoto to comfort her, but instead had aggravated her wounds.

“Haru!” Makoto lunged forward. “Don’t try and move. That hit…”

Haru sighed and moved back down, resting her head on a pillow. “Right… that attack was…”

Makoto leaned down to place her forehead against Haru’s. “Haru. Don’t ever do that again.” She moved back to look into her eyes, hoping to convey how serious she was.

Makoto twitched in surprise when she felt Haru jerk her head forward to hit her own in a weak headbutt. “Mako-chan. We agreed that we’d always look out for each other.”

Makoto sighed. “I know.”

“I knew that I’d be okay. Well, relatively speaking.” She chuckled. “But if that had hit you…” Haru brought up a hand to comb it through Makoto’s hair.

Makoto closed her eyes at the calming sensation. “If it had, then it wouldn’t have hit you.” She could feel the tears welling up behind her closed eyes. The fact that Haru would risk her life to protect someone like her… who couldn’t even protect Haru in the first place, made Makoto truly feel useless. “I’m so sorry. I was…”

“Stop being so stubborn, Mako-chan!” The moment Haru’s hands stilled in Makoto’s hair, the girl opened her eyes. Haru seemed adamant, as she was now slightly tugging the strands, pulling the other girl closer. “I’m glad that I could protect you.” She leaned up to give Makoto a quick kiss on the lips. As she settled back down, her expression changed to a pained one. “You’re so important to me…” she murmured.

Makoto leaned down, missing their contact. She wrapped her arms around Haru’s shoulders, squeezing her as tightly as she dared, not wanting to hurt the other girl further. “You are too…”

The two stayed in this position for a few moments, with Haru resuming the petting of Makoto’s hair. Makoto was determined to show her girlfriend just how much she cared for her. If she couldn’t protect her in battle, at the very least, she should be able to shower her with affection.

Makoto knew that she herself was not a touchy-feely type of person. But now that she saw how quickly she could lose someone she loved, she resolved to be more upfront with her feelings, as she never knew when the opportunity for them could come to an end.

“Hey girls!” Makoto released her hold on Haru and jumped back up to her original kneeling position. Even though she’d just promised herself to be more affectionate, it was still hard to show these feelings when others were watching.

She looked up to see Yukari, Fuuka, and Rise standing there with some food. “Uh… we’ll just leave this here with Makoto-san. Eat up!” Yukari bent down to place the items next to the girl before awkwardly turning around and darting away with the others. To her embarrassment, Makoto saw the three of them whisper something to each other and giggle, glancing over at the two third-years.

“Looks like everyone was worried about us.” Haru giggled. Makoto saw that she was amused at their antics, a grin on her face.

“I suppose…” Makoto shook her head in exasperation. She grabbed one of the popcorn containers and picked out a piece, offering it to Haru. To her surprise, instead of delightfully eating it as she normally did when the two fed each other, she shook her head and pushed her hand away.

“Look, Mako-chan. I can tell that you’re still feeling remorse over what happened. I want you to know that I truly don’t regret doing what I did.” She took Makoto’s hand and gripped it tightly, causing her to drop the food onto the floor. “I love you, and I will do everything in my power to make sure that you’re safe.”

Makoto looked into Haru’s eyes and saw that she truly meant what she said. She felt her heart flutter slightly at Haru’s sincerity. “Look at me. I should be the one comforting you. Why does it always seem like it’s the other way around?” She chuckled sadly.

“Because you support me with your actions, Mako-chan, both on and off the battlefield.” Haru squeezed her hand. “I know that putting feelings into words is hard for you.” Her grip loosened. “You know… I feel that I struggle in the opposite way.”

Makoto titled her head, not understanding what she was getting at. “What do you mean?”

“Sometimes… I feel as though I’m… what’s the phrase? All talk and no action. I can soothe you with words, but you always seem to be the one to protect me when we fight. That’s why –”

Suddenly it clicked. “That’s why you jumped in to shield me,” Makoto finished for her. So Haru really thought that she didn’t support her enough in battle? That she only ever comforted Makoto with her words? That couldn’t be farther from the truth. Makoto knew that she herself could be insecure when it came to many things, but it was strange to see Haru be so worried about something that Makoto did not even see as an issue.

Haru blustered on. “I-I want you to know that I would’ve done so regardless! But yes, as embarrassing as that is to admit, I wanted to be the one to protect you with actions rather than words for once. I wanted to show you rather than tell you how much I care for you.”

Makoto chuckled, a happier tone this time. “I… I really am flattered, Haru. But you don’t have to overcompensate. You show me how much you care for me every day without needing to put yourself in danger.” She tightened her grip on Haru’s hand, whose own grip had been so loose that she was about to let go. “We just each have our own ways of showing affection.”

“I suppose you’re right.” Haru smiled. “Thank you for saying so.”

“Of course. And by the way, anyone who uses an axe and a grenade launcher to fight is always someone that I would want to have my beck. How could I possibly be in danger with an ally like that protecting me?” Makoto laughed.

“I suppose when you put it that way, it does sound rather silly for me to have been concerned.” Haru giggled.

Makoto smiled, happy to be able to get through to Haru to have her understand just how amazing she was. “Also, I love you too. Just wanted to make sure that I responded to what you said earlier.”

Haru grinned back. “Well now, it looks like we’re both feeling better.” She looked down at the popcorn. “I wouldn’t be opposed to that offer of food now.”

Makoto nodded. Picking up another piece, she placed one into Haru’s mouth before taking a piece of her own.

And there we go! I figured since Makoto was the one who was injured last year, it should be Haru’s turn this year.

This situation was somewhat similar to what happened in my playthrough. Haru didn’t defend anyone (I don’t think that is an automatic mechanic in this game, or if it is, all my characters just hate each other!), but when Mr. Bear used his devastating attack, it literally one-shot everyone except Haru. I had support teleport us away, but it was pretty frightening to see my entire team except for one go down. Clearly, I wasn’t ready for that particular enemy!

The mission is a little different in my one-shot compared to what happens in the game, but I needed to change it slightly to make it more ‘Okujima-centric’. Hope it was still a good read, regardless!

Also, party members technically instantly heal once they reach the lobby in Q2, but I wanted Makoto to be able to tend to Haru, so I decided that they would still be injured. In fact, this is how it worked in Q, so it technically fits within this Q universe. I was so glad when they changed this mechanic for Q2 though, because I used up so many resources healing people in Q!

See you tomorrow!

#okujima #okujima week #okujima week 2020 #makoto niijima #haru okumura #makoto x haru #haru x makoto #p5 #persona 5

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dialovers-translations · 4 years ago

Text

DIABOLIK LOVERS MORE, MORE BLOOD Vol.13 Kino [Track 2]

Original title: 寒冷

Source: Diabolik Lovers More, More Blood Vol. 13 Kino [CD not owned by me]

Audio: Here (15:28 ~ 29:54)

Seiyuu: Tomoaki Maeno

Translator’s note: I was already kind of curious about the contents of this track from reading the title, but as soon as the MC returned from the cafeteria with a popsicle, I already knew what was going to happen. I can really imagine the struggles of having a boyfriend like Kino who loves pulling pranks on you. Although compared to some of the other stuff the boys have done to her, being teased with a popsicle isn’t even all that bad. Seeing him try and make it up to her afterwards made for a cute moment as well.

Track 1 ll Track 2 ll Track 3 ll Track 4 ll Track 5 + Epilogue

→ LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

Track 2: Coldness

“ーー And then I ended up arguing with Yuuri over who is correct. What do you think? Which one of us was right?”

You hesitate.

“Seems like you’re having trouble answering my question. Don’t hold back and just tell me. In return, I’ll punish you if you don’t say it was me.”

You frown.

“You’re struggling that much? Guess I have no other choice. I’ll give you some time. Try and come up with an answer by the end of classes today.”

The two of you come to a halt.

“...So, is this the classroom we had to move to? (1)”

You explain.

“The science lab, huh? It’s really such a pain that science classes take place in a different classroom. Oh well, guess it’s fine. Hurry up and open the door.”

*Rattle*

“...Hm? What’s wrong? You’re not going inside?”

You close the door again.

“...Eh? Why did you close the door again? Don’t we have class here?”

You tell him it’s the wrong room.

“Haah!? Who goes to the wrong classroom!? Unlike me, you’ve been going to this school for quite some time, right?”

You apologize.

“Honestly...I don’t know whether you’re just slow-witted or if you actually have a few screws loose...”

You seem confused.

“Eh? What’s weird?”

You tell him there seem to be more doors than usual.

“What are you saying? You’re just imagining things, no? There’s no way the number of doors would suddenly increase. Doesn’t it just feel that way? It’s no good to try and blame your own mistakes on someone or something else. Also, that barely makes for a decent excuse.”

You insist.

*Dingー Dongー・ Dingー Dongー*

“Ah-aaah...Right, right. There’s more doors than usual, huh? Anyway, the bell of the next period just rang. We won’t make it in time for our class so what should we do?”

You frown.

“Well, if we’re confirmed late, might as well say ‘screw it’, right?

You tilt your head to the side.

“You know, let’s just skip class.”

You protest.

“If we go now, we’ll just get scolded for being late, right? So why not? ...Come on, this way! Let’s go!”

Kino drags you along.

*TIMESKIP*

“Fufufu~ I’m almost done with this quest...”

*Tap tap*

“Ahー But before that, I have to use this item.”

*Tap tap*

“Hm? What do you want? I’m busy playing my game right now.”

You seem anxious to get in trouble for skipping.

“You’re still worried about that? We already skipped class, so there’s nothing we can do about it now.”

*Tap tap*

“Isn’t spending time out on the rooftop during class something you have to do at least once while you’re young? We’re here now anyway, so you should try and have some fun as well.”

You frown.

“No buts! ...Ah, I get it. You end up having unnecessary worries because you’re bored, no? In that case, I’ll give you something to do.”

You tilt your head to the side.

“There’s a cafeteria on campus where you can purchase food and such, right? Go buy me something there.”

You ask him what to get.

“Hmー Let’s see...What to choose? ...Then, how about you get something you think I’d like?”

You want him to be a little more specific.

“What would that be? The whole point is that you figure it out.”

You whine.

“It’s not difficult, is it? If you’ve been keeping a close eye on me, it should be a piece of cake! ...Pick the thing that would make me the most happy! Alsoーー”

*Rustle*

“You better not keep me waiting, so I expect you back here in ten minutes, okay? If you’re even one second late...You’ll get a pentalty.”

You flinch.

“Come on. Hurry up.”

You run away.

*TIMESKIP*

*Creaaak*

“Ah! You’re finally back...!”

You ask if you made it back in time.

“Haah? What are you saying? You didnt even come close to making it back on time. Just how far did you have to go for those?”

You explain.

“You got lost? You’ve been a student at this academy for a while, haven’t you? That doesn’t make any sense. Stop making those lousy excuses.”

You try and defend yourself.

“Hmm~? So you got the location of the cafeteria wrong? I guess you went down the wrong stairs or something? Oh well, whatever. More importantly, hurry up and hand it over. You obviously got one of my favorites, right?”

*Rustle rustle*

“...Eh? That?”

You nod.

“Ice cream...? Haah...”

You frown, asking him if he doesn’t like ice cream

“It’s not that ice cream’s bad or anything but...Why didn’t you get me guava juice? You know that I like it, don’t you?”

You tell him that wasn’t an option.

“Haah!? They don’t sell it here!? They really should reconsider their line-up then. But that doesn’t matter, does it? Not only did you make me wait forever, and on top of that, you weren’t able to buy something which would make me happy. Fufu~”

*Rustle*

“This calls...for a punishment.”

You protest.

“No point in fighting back. ...Come here.”

Kino pulls you close.

“Gotcha. When I’m holding you tightly from behind like this, you can no longer get away, can you? That being said, this ice cream has been well chilled. I’m sure it would feel extremely cold if I were to press it against your skin. For example...Against the back of your nape.”

*Rustle*

You flinch.

“You’re already reacting that strongly from just slightly brushing it across? I wonder what would happen if I were to slip it inside your clothes then? Aren’t you curious?”

You shake your head.

“Oh come on~ No need to be modest. Come on...”

*Rustle*

He presses the ice cream against your bare skin as you shriek.

“...Ahaha! Did you hear yourself just now? Well, I guess it would feel cold and disgusting to have an entire popsicle slide down your back. Ah-aah...Your uniform’s a mess as well.”

You call him out for bullying you.

“I’m not being mean, am I? It’s a punishment after all. Besides, that scream just now wasn’t half bad, you know? I’d love to hear it one more time.”

You tell him the ice cream has already melted.

“Guess so. You didn’t buy more than one popsicle after all. ...But you know, I have this.”

*Cling*

“If we use the hourglass to reload, the ice cream and your uniform will return to their original state. You should be grateful.

*Tick tock - Tick tock - Tick tock - Tick tock*

ーーー

*Creaaak*

“Ah! You’re finally back...! ...Hehe, you gave the exact same reaction as earlier. Why are you looking around in confusion? I told you I would reload, didn’t I? Time got turned back. You remember what happened earlier, don’t you?”

Kino approaches you.

“Exactly. Seems like you properly recall. I pulled you close like this...”

*Rustle*

“...And played with you using this popsicle you bought, didn’t I?”

*Rustle rustle*

“Say...There’s something I’m curious about. I can test it out, right? You already know just how cold this ice cream is. The chilled sensation from having it directly pressed up against your skin. So I was wondering...How will your body react if I repeat the same action one more time, now that you’re already well aware of how it’ll feel?”

You try and get away.

*Rustle rustle*

“...Woah there! You better don’t think I’ll let you get away!”

He grabs hold of your wrist.

“...There. Gotcha.”

*Rustle rustle*

“No point in resisting. There’s just no way you could get away from me after all.”

Kino opens the popsicle.

“There we go~ It’s time for the ice cream you’ve just been dying for~ If I run it across your nape like this...”

You flinch.

“Exactly. You can feel it even stronger when you already know what to expect, don’t you? I wonder if it’s your brain playing tricks on you...?”

*Rustle*

“...Hm? What? Throwing in the towel already? Guess I have no other choice. In that case, I’ll warm you up next.”

*Sluuuurp*

“Hm...The taste of this popsicle is pretty mediocre. I don’t think I could finish the whole thing. The person who bought it should take responsibility and eat it all instead. Here you go.”

He forces the popsicle inside your mouth.

“You’re whining was starting to annoying me, so this works perfectly. Keep it in between your teeth for a bit, okay? Meanwhile I’ll dig into this to cleanse my palate. In the end, it seems like I...”

*Rustle*

“...enjoy this the very best. mmh...”

Kino bites you.

*Gulp gulp gulp*

“Nn...You like this too, don’t you? The whimpers slipping through...They’re different compared to when I teased you earlier. They’re sweet yet sorrowful. Almost as if you’re begging for me.”

*Rustle*

“Let me hear more of those...”

*Rustle*

“...Ah!”

You drop the popsicle.

*Splatter*

“Ah-aah...The popsicle fell down. Your skirt’s a mess now as well.”

You apologize.

“Why are you saying sorry? Ahー Because you dropped it? I don’t care, really. ー Wait, what’s with that face? You’re in tears. Your lips are all sticky from the ice cream as well. I’ll wipe you clean, so look this way.”

You turn around.

*Rustle rustle*

“Perhaps I took my teasings a little too far? ...Were you scared?”

You nod.

“I see. ...Fufu. You’re such a crybaby, how cute~”

*Smooch*

“There, all clean. Now cheer up, okay? You don’t want things to become awkward between us, do you? I guess that leaves your skirt...Honestly, it’s kind of a drag, so would you like me to turn back time to before you dropped the popsicle?”

You ask him if it’s okay.

“Of course I don’t mind. ...But in return, I might mess with you again~”

You protest.

“I’m just kidding. Let’s kill some time together until classes end? Ah! But don’t get the wrong idea, okay? I’ll still use the hourglass. ...Well then, how should we enjoy ourselves next~?”

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

Translation notes

(1) At Japanese high schools, students stay in the same classroom for 90% of the classes. For some subjects like science, art, etc. they may move to a different classroom which has the right facilities and material. These are called 移動教室 or ‘idō-kyōshitsu��.

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #kino #diabolik lovers more more blood #diabolik lovers translation #diabolik lovers drama cd #drama cd

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sleepless-in-starbucks · 5 years ago

Text

Screw it

LAOFT from someone who’s never read the main story

100% of my knowledge of LAOFT comes from askes of @tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors that I read and the one-shots I’ve read. Some of it will be right. Most of it will be wrong. Hopefully all of it is a hilarious, sleep-deprived mess.

Since there’s a good chance I’ve got at least a few bits of plot right there are some spoilers herein so beware weary traveler who really should just skip past this mess of a post.

Sleep-deprivation baby let’s go.

The basics:

Setting: Wickhills

Creepy fae town

I think it’s based in Ohio. Maybe. Probably. idk

Tho if you came here for exacts buddy oh boy I have bad news for you

I digress

I think the description of the first part says smth about the people not minding having their things stolen

Except for uh I think her name’s May Gage

Ro’s Mom?

I think

NO WAIT

Description has to do with Dot Sanders

Mum of Lo and Tho

Will talk about them later but I just had to get that straight first

Even tho there’s, like, nothing straight in this AU

I think the main plot problems arise, originally, due to miscommunication

Or lack of communication

All I know is in the drunk history of Wickhills that I barely remember there was a mention of them not communicating and that basically dooming them

And y’all... lots going on around here

Lots

So uh we’re jumping into characters now here I go

Virgil Lastnamesmth:

No I don’t know his last name and no I’m not going to learn it just for this post

It’s Lastnamesmth now deal with it

I think he’s Spider King

Or smth like that

He rules the forest

After he gets out of his magic coma

He’s in that for a long time tho

100 years I think?

And uh I think Durant did it to him but we’ll talk about the devil in a snake suit later

He got put in a protective coffin by... I want to say Greta but ngl I know nothing about Greta.

She may be one of Vi’s sisters

He has a LOT of siblings actually

Many are spider sisters I think

And I think Elliot and Thomas are also his siblings in a way

Maybe

idk

Again don’t trust what you read when it comes from me peeps

But he’s super powerful

And I think he’s in the winter court

Whatever that means

I know courts exist for the seasons, and I’m reasonably sure Virgil’s is Winter, but that’s about it

He has magic but I don’t think he used it in any of the one-shots I read so what do I know

Well he does in one

That one where Logan gives his full name

That one was good I quite liked it

Well actually they’re all good I like all the ones I read

Back to Virgil

Hates parties which is a mood

He has to host them tho

Being Spider King is cool other than that bit I gather

And the part where the court gossips about you but oh well I suppose

I believe he’s autistic too

Or at least written with a lot of autistic traits

Is that how you say it? Autistic traits sounds wrong

Can fae be autistic? Or just like it?

Y’know what fuck it fae can be autistic and the only one allowed to @ me about that is the author screw off haters

I think the rest of what I have to say can live in the misc section

NEXT CHARACTER

Roman Gage:

I’d like to start with I love him and every time I think about what little I know of his backstory I want to cry

idk how he ended up in an abusive relationship but I know he did

And he’s such a good boi

He doesn’t DESERVE IT GODSDAMNIT

Only Vi would get me this emotionally invested in characters I only sorta know I swear

So yeah

Current Ro still has some problems with that

For very obvious reasons

And yet!

He is a gentleman and a knight and a champion and a prince

Yes that is a direct reference at that one one-shot shhh

His family is also one of witches right

He has a familiar

Tis a cat named Dizzy

I only know about Dizzy from like one fic tho so that’s all I can say about her

Dizzy can talk too in case that wasn’t clear

He made a potion in the microwave despite knowing that he probably shouldn’t and I think that’s a good summary of his character

I think he found Virgil first

At the very least he did find Virgil

He’s a human who found a hot dude in a glass case crawling with creepy crawlies and thought ‘ah yes the perfect place to spend all my time’

Sounds legit I’m sure

I don’t know how this lead to him in a bad place with the motherfucker also called the Serpent King

But it did

But in the end he got glass coffin boy and two others so at least he’s got that going for him

We move on once more!

Patton Uh what’s Remy’s last name again I think it’s that:

Or it isn’t

I said it before I’ll say it again:

Looking up info for this defeats the point

Deal with my horrible misinformation

He got a gift from White!

I believe this is because his Mum saved her or something

The problem?

The gift is also a curse

Because while it’s incredibly written that’s the cliché folks

People have to do what ever he ‘orders’

Basically anything that techincally demands something from the other

Including things like ‘stop’ which is like one-hit KO murder word

Patton had a nightmare about that

That was a fun one-shot

Though if you could just like kill people on accident I guess I’d have nightmares ‘bout it too

He’s the other human of the trio plus one

No I don’t remember the word for a group of four people and no I’m not going to look it up

A Professional Cuddler according to that one fic where the description’s like ‘Patton thinks he’s got the best seat in the house’ or whatever

There’s one fic where Emile help him put make-up on

Wowsers

That fic was fun to read because he flustered ALL his bfs

No question

What else what else

I think he’s got a bodyguard

Named... Bell???

Maybe???

Okay I think that’s most of my Pat knowledge

ONWARDS

Logan (Berry) Sanders:

Yes adding the Berry was very important

It’s a huge part of that name fic

And I like it so

Deal with it

He’s a fae

I believe a changling to be exact

And a selkie

He’s... spring court...?

He was replaced for Thomas in typical Changling fashion

But then Thomas came back (I think Dot got Tho back idk) and suddenly he had a brother

He has nature magic of some form

But his best power is his flower power

He can’t control it and I love it so much

I don’t even KNOW what each type of flower appearing means 9 out of 10 times but that doesn’t make me any less happy about it

*Sigh*

I wish I sprouted flowers at random...

I think he’s also autistic

He and Virgil occasionally bond over that it’s sweet

Like with the painted nails tap tap tapping

Or the singing walls

I know something happened to him

Something relating to something stupid Ro did

I think that’s the stupid thing that got Ro forced to be with the dick that is Deceit in this

But I honestly don’t know what happened to Logan

Hmph

He can be a nervous boi

That fic where he tried to say I love you with his notecards?

Love that one

...Twenty-five percent of this is just me randomly complimenting Vi’s one-shots ain’t it

Huh

Oh well

No regrets

I just realized I use ‘Vi’ for Violet and Virgil interchangeably

That may be problematic but screw off if you think I’m going to change anything

That’s too much effort

BACK TO LOGAN

He has a honey problem from that one fic I read

Where he gets real sappy about his bfs to Thomas

Not like a bad problem

Just a ‘maybe he should stop drinking it if he wants to pretend he has dignity’ problem

Okey-dokie I’m moving on to his bro now

Thomas (Bug) Sanders:

Lo’s incredible brother

And when I say incredible I mean it

Very nice

Will squish Logan when needed

Actually will squish anyone when needed

He has a Squish Instinct

Also has Brother Instinct and no it’s not the Cain Instinct

It’s the opposite

Will Fight if you try to hurt Lo from what I can tell

I think he also had a monster in his head

The monster has a longer name but I can’t spell it so I won’t try

This fact is based on One (1) one-shot where he has a weird freak out

That’s also the fic I base my belief that he’s somehow Virgil’s brother on

But no promises

The fic starts with italics and bolded lines interchanging

I don’t remember the name tho

If you haven’t already figured out I’m not going to look it up you’re even more sleep-deprived then I am

But yeah Thomas is great

Teases Lo about his crushes like a good bro

Helps Lo when he’s panicking or freaking out or something

Even when Lo’s at college

I don’t know as much about Tho so let’s leave it there

Onto the Monster

Durant (is that his name idk) Monsterunworthyoflove:

His last name is Monsterunworthyoflove because that’s what he is

I know almost nothing about him actually

They call him ‘he’ a lot because I think trigger reasons

But honestly he also doesn’t deserve to have his name spoken

He was the Snake King

Maybe Serpent King

Eh idc

I believe he put Virgil in magic coma to rule as King

I think they were brothers but idk

HE SUCKS

I think he’s dead

I wish I knew how or by who’s hand but he is

He got a coffin in the ground which I think if unfair

Let the worms devour his flesh and let me make his bones into my furniture

I am a part of the Kill Durant Again squad only because I missed my chance to kill him first

Like I said I know little about him

But he put the abusive in Roman’s abusive relationship so honestly fuck him to Hell and back and then do it again for good measure

Every time I read a scene with Ro being uncomfy because of him

I want to strangle him

I fucking mime the motions

Violet honestly props on making such a hate-able character

I could talk about him more because I do know a few other things

But honestly the fact he’s not real and my dream to choke him slowly is therefore impossible makes my skin crawl

I hate him so much it’s not healthy so we’re moving on

To minor characters!

Minor Characters:

As in characters I know very little about

I guess they could be vital characters

REMY

MY BOI

I know he’s a classic badboy who will die if Emile kisses him and I love him

Also he’s super smart with his moonshine and I’m so proud

I love him so so so so much and I barely know him

Good job Violet you wrote him well and I love you

Emile is also great

Remy has protected him for wearing skirts because Rem’s a good boy and he’s RIGHT

Emile feels bad for treating Patton bad in the past I think

Hence that one make-up session

Emile also crushes on Remy hard the remile in this AU is on point man

Elliot exists

I think they’re Virgil’s sibling. Somehow. Maybe

I read one one-shot that focused on their relationship with Vi and that’s all I know about them

Mawmaw (Mamaw? mawma? I’mma just call her May. If she’s May. I think she’s May) is Ro’s Mom.

Also a witch I think

Really tough but she cares

Dot is super nice

She’s Lo and Tho’s Mum I think

I don’t remember the one-shots with her in them well but she’s always sweet

Okay there’s this one character who’s name starts with an E

I think she’s Logan biological mom

Logan cut a knot he had with her or smth

Apparently she’s awful and Vi would kill her but it would have a bad mental effect on Ro for... some reason

he got pale when the idea was brought up idk

I would have thrown her in forever prison if I couldn’t kill her but that’s just me

She placed a curse on Lo that stopped him from leaving Wickhills I think

Or smth

Lo broke the curse tho so what does it matter

Linda is the LAMP’s daughter??? I think???

I... haven’t actually read the fics she’s in so idk

But people really seem to love her so that’s neat

Out of minor characters so we progress to my fav part about the series

Gay bois:

Aka the LAMP gang

They’re so gay guys

The gayest gays

I like to think I can write decent gays

But these???????

They barely have to look at each other before they’re dead, murdered, killed by the mere beauty of one of the others

I LIVE FOR IT

In the one-shots I’ve read they’re either completely 100% fluffy gays

Or gays helping each other with one Trauma or another

But they still end up gay-ing over each other in the end

and the KISSING

as an aroace I generally find kisses meh or ew

But these gays

All they want to do is kiss

Sometimes it’s tender and sweet and loving

More often than not tho the kisses are like

‘If one of you didn’t manage to barely hold onto a brain cell throughout the gay you’d be fucking in public’

I am repulsed to write that sentence but it’s TRUE

...I think

Note: idek the difference between passionate but just passionate kisses and passionate about to get steamy kisses

Because you know

aroace

But the main point:

I find kisses meh

But these gays very clearly illustrate how beautiful kisses can be and I think that’s wonderful

Also I just generally love LAMP and this is good good LAMP A++ Vi

They’re so gay and loving and protective of each other

They really deserved their own category

Onto the final section

Misc:

Aka stuff that doesn’t fit in the other sections and/or stuff that did fit in the other sections but I forgot about it and am too lazy to put where it belongs

I realize now that Remy and Pat do not have the same last name

They’re not brothers (I don’t think......)

Does Pat’s last name start with a W?

That sounds right

Fug me if I know what Rem’s last name is tho

Where do they all live

I thought only Vi lived in fae land

But I think Pat may live there too

But Lo lives in non-fae land???

idk

Also fae land is called fairyland and I can’t tell if that’s it’s actual name or the name one of the Bois gave it jokinly

Because if fairyland is it’s serious name, that’s hilarious

No shade Violet I’m just easily amused

Y’know I always forget how young these bois are

Then I remember Lo’s not even 18 by the time the after main plot one-shots come in to play

So like

Damn son they young

I feel double bad for all of them

Triple bad for Ro- the Serpent King’s head will be mine I swEAR

I think Ro’s been a knight twice

Tho if you ask me he’s only been a knight once

Because I refuse to associate him in any way to the dick that is Durant if I can help it so he’s only ever been Vi’s knight suck it

Apparently like almost all of Wickhills hate the Sander bois

Probably the LAMP crew too idk

What I mean to say is despite how desperate I want to live there a lot of Wickhills’s residents are jerkwads

I think I saw a post where Lo can do photosynthesis and idk if it’s a shitpost or not but in this mess of a post I have decided it is canon

Mainly because that’s cool and I would like to do photosynthesis

A new one-shot I didn’t read has sparked a lot of askes about a Matt

I believe this man to be Pat’s father

But I can make no promises as to the accuracy of this belief

Did Linda come out of a tree?

idk why but I feel like she did

That’s weird man

How do you come out of a tree

(me @ me: ‘you could... you could read the fic and find out’

So turns out I can shut the hell up

I am a bitch who understands nothing)

And I have ONCE MORE gotten off track oof

My favorite part of reading LAOFT is all the fae knowledge I learn

Really has sparked my interest in fae

Even if I’ll never know enough to do anything with it asfsdfb

Plus apparently Vi just sprinkles in her own fae lore here and there

Which is super cool

But also means if I tried to write something I’m quite sure someone would be like ‘umm this isn’t true’ and I would feel played

Also what is up with Vi and Lo and rainfall

In that one fic where they hide in a tree and Logan senses a raindrop

His skin breaks open and sews itself together????

wtf????

So confusion

But hey guess whose bitch’s fault that is

*finger guns at a mirror*

ELDRITCH MONSTORITY

That’s not at ALL how you spell it but that’s it that’s the thing that was in Thomas’s head

Go me for remembering it

Fae land has a lot of customs and I know very few of them

Tho I do adore that one Flirt fic

Poor poor Virgil

Oh yeah Logan can make these super cool bushes

I know he used one rose bush when fighting someone who’s name started with a Mrs/Miss

Yes I know the first name wasn’t actually Mrs/Miss

But all I know of her name is Mrs/Miss something

And he used another bush against some idiot of a fae who grabbed Patton

By the way go protective Lo go

Like they can all get crazy protective of each other and I LIVE for it

ROMAN HAD HIS MEMORIES SPLIT UP??????

I mean I knew about a Night Roman and a Day Roman but I thought that was

a metaphor

Like Roman acted differently during the night because he was stuck with a monster whom I shall revive simply to kill again

And he was trying to be separate from that person??

Or something like that

But NOPE

Serpent King is a Bastard of a being and I would happily crush his wind pipe beneath my foot

I hope the most amusing part of this sleep-drunk post is my different names for Durant the Dead Bitch because I am having fun insulting him

Okay listen peeps that is not even CLOSE to everything about this series but I wrote this over a couple of days, and my memory of what has been written and hasn’t been written is nonexistent, and if you think I’m rereading this to edit, you’re a fool (no offense) so like. We’re just gonna do a wrap-up summary and call it good.

Summary: Gay fae messes who should figure out the value of communication get themselves in a LOT of shit because of their lack of said communication.

Also, final apologies to Violet, because LAOFT has incredibly deep, rich, intricate lore and my response to this lore is to grossly misrepresent it and also write this while I’m in the constant state of being sleep-deprived, and more or less acting like I’m drunk or smth

So uh. I hope this was amusing.

#the cryptid speaks #the cryptid is a fool #tired I am #won't stop me from doing this tho #laoft #violet #I have no apologies #also #no fact checking #because we die like men #swearing tw #long post #really #very very long post beware #and almost all of it is my stupid ramblings #violence tw #tell me if I need to tag something I forgot about and it will be done

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