#knowing you'll probably just end up even more hurt and disappointed

[lili-elbe]

g-d i wish i had just one real friend

[nosyp]

First years as yanderes

Second years | Third years

Ace Trappola

When you first meet him, it's mostly just playful teasing, harmless pranks and subtle flirting but as time passes, it becomes much much worse.

From an outsider's perspective, they would probably think you and Ace are the cutest couple but behind closed doors, it's a whole different narrative.

He's possessive, always demanding to know where you were going, claiming it's just to 'protect you'. At some point, it gets so intense that he ends up making curfews for you and installing a tracker on your phone.

And when you try to leave, he finds a way to guilt trip you by saying things like "I thought we were more than that. You're really gonna leave me? Even after everything?"

Deuce Spade

He's overprotective. He has a really short temper and is a former delinquent. You can't blame him if he accidently sends someone to the hospital because they made you trip on accident, can you?

He’s convinced his violent outbursts are justified. After all, he’s only doing it for you. “They disrespected you! What was I supposed to do? Let them get away with it?”

When you attempt to scold him for injuring someone, he pleads with you for you to understand... after all, he did this for you.

“You still love me, right? I did this for you… you understand that, don’t you?” "No Deuce! You're crazy! Stop it!"

The whole situation is a crazed mess. He felt as your relationship crumbled into pieces and he tries to piece it back together like a huge puzzle.

Deuce would never hurt you directly though, instead he would isolate you, trap you in a secluded area, far away from everyone else. He does this all because he believes that if you interact with anyone else other than him, your mind will be 'corrupted'.

Jack Howl

He's not a guilt-tripper or a manipulator like the others, but he is for sure just as overprotective.

He'd follow you everywhere, he's convinced that you need his protection 24/7. He believes that even if for a second that he looks away, you'll get hurt... and it'll be all his fault.

He's not as crazy possessive as the others, but he does things that make you think he is. He'd cut people out of your life if he believes that they're a bad influence. It gets to the point that he cuts everyone out of your life, except for him.

Jack believes he knows what’s best for you and if you fight back? He’ll look at you with those stoic, disappointed eyes, muttering: “You’re being stubborn again. Don’t you trust me?”

Finally, when you lose everything, you could only cling onto Jack. Binding you with him forever.

Epel Felmier

Epel’s obsession stems from his frustration with his history of being underestimated. Around you, he wants to be seen as strong and capable, but it quickly becomes suffocating. He’ll lash out at anyone who dares undermine his masculinity or threaten his place at your side.

He clings to you as proof of his strength. If you ever reject him, it shatters his pride. That’s when Epel becomes truly dangerous—his temper is explosive, and his upbringing makes him surprisingly ruthless when he wants to be.

He’d sabotage friendships and relationships behind the scenes, spreading rumors with a sweet smile. “I’d hate for people to misunderstand you. It’s better if you stay with me—you can trust me.” he'd mutter to you.

Epel would be the type to snap if you tried to leave. His desperation would finally boil over, his hands trembling as he blocks the door. “You can’t leave. You’re mine, and I’ll fight anyone who tries to take you away.”

Sebek Zigvolt

Sebek’s obssessed. It's loud, unwavering, and borderline fanatical. He worships you. He adores you. He'll never let you out of his sight.

He sees himself as your protector, often to an extreme. He’ll argue, yell, and shame you for spending time with 'unworthy' people. “They’re way under you! Why waste your time on them when you have me?”

Sebek’s outbursts make it impossible for anyone to approach you. While he never has the intent to hurt you, the sheer intensity of his actions becomes overwhelming.

If you tried to distance yourself, he’d be furious, raging mad but underneath it all is desperation. He would spew out random nonsense in an attempt to earn you back. “Don’t you understand? No one can love and protect you like I can! I was made for this—I was made for you!”

Ortho Shroud (platonic)

Ortho's an overprotective yandere (platonic). He'd monitor your whole life, from where your going to who your spending time with. He knows it all, no details spared.

If you ever mention that you were going out, he'd insist on coming with you. Telling you that it's much safer for you to let him come with you.

He's emotionally dependent on you. Just like how attached he is to his brother, he'd easily become as attached with you. He'd feel like he needs you in his life, and his happiness would become increasingly tied to your attention and affection.

He's not jealous or anything but when he realizes that you're spending less time with him, he'll get more clingy or subtly try to make you feel guilty for not spending enough time with him. "But… I thought we could hang out. Don’t you want to be with me?"

In the worst-case scenario, if you ever try to pull away or create distance, Ortho could start to tweak. He’d be unable to understand why you wouldn’t want to spend every moment with him, and he might say something like, “But I’m your friend… I thought you’d never leave me. You’re my only friend. Please don’t abandon me.” His voice would be soft, and though his words would seem sweet, the emotional pressure behind them would be overwhelming.

[sylveon-and-velveon]

Playing "4 Big Guys" around the slashers

Shitpost idea has been made, so here XD

This will include: Michael Myers {OG & RZ}, Brahms Heelshire, Jason Voorhees, Billy Lenz, Freddy Krueger, Stu Macher, Billy Loomis, Thomas Hewitt, Bubba Sawyer, Harry Warden, Tiffany Valentine

Feel free to request any shitpost writing prompt ideas you can think of in my asks, I love silly non-serious ideas XD

Given the music is VERY adult related, this is 18+ ONLY

OG Michael Myers

Ain't gonna lie, the second you play that song he's probably staring at you instantly. Anger? Disappointment? Cursing your entire family and possible future children? Who knows! It's Michael-Fucking-Myers baby!!!

He's not used to anything sexual overall so hearing a song openly sing about gay sex, and in such a detailed way, would worry him. Not for the singer, no- more on your taste in music.

And don't even get me started on when he hears about shit being involved. The second he hears that being mentioned he's turning off the music entirely, patting your head, and dragging you away so you'll listen to something he likes instead to cleanse that weird mind of yours. Like... Kate Bush or something.

He'd like Kate Bush right? He looks like a Kate Bush enjoyer.

RZ Michael Myers

Judging you, hard. Though he ain't saying it. His aura is practically smellable he's judging you so hard.

Does he like it? No. It's loud, obnoxious, and profound filled. Ignoring the obvious "gay sex and other weirdness" part, the volume of the music reminds him of his childhood.

He's smashing the device the music is coming from. He doesn't care if it's your MP3 all the way to a damn TV or Alexa, he's smashing that shit to pieces if it means he doesn't need to hear it anymore.

What would he put on instead? Calming ambient noises that play for hours on end on YouTube. It's the exact opposite of whatever hellscape you just played. It's better.

Brahms Heelshire

Well first of all it ain't classical, so that's a point on the "I Hate This" list.

Second it's not a piano.

Third it's literally "4 Big Guys"-

Not only is this poor man confused about everything the singer is saying, I highly doubt his parents explained LGBTQ+ to him, he's also hating how loud it is.

"Who puts things up their ass?" - Brahms Heelshire 2024

You turn off the music yourself when he practically begs you to.

You're probably tryna hold in your laughter while he's sitting on the floor trying to figure out what the fuck he just heard.

Jason Voorhees

Is there a bigger word for "traumatized"? Because that man earns it.

You're lucky af, if his mom was live she'd hit you with a crowbar so fast- Not kill you tho, she wouldn't dare hurt her boy.

But yeah, he's not saying anything, nor moving. Bro's too traumatized. LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE-

You better give him his teddy he fucking deserves it TmT

Laughing his ass off until the shit is mentioned, even this horny gremlin has his limits.

Can you tell I hate shit kinks? XD

He'd want an apology for you blasting that song so far to that section. But no music! He hates Christmas songs, they're so repetitive and they all sound the same anyway.

Bake him a cake, the more unique the better. His favourite so far is red velvet with cream cheese frosting!

Then when he's finished eating you're getting railed by him not longer after, man's not changed. Not now, not ever.

Freddy Krueger

You can play this entire song with this man on REPEAT and he'd be fine with it.

I'd be surprised if he didn't given his track record and.... slicing open his skin to reveal green "blood" and maggots crawling out.

Would he laugh the first time? ABSOLUTELY!

Would he jokingly sing along, probably.

But he would TOTALLY play this song when going after his victims sometimes. Imagine dying and the last thing you hear is:

"4 BIG GUYS AND THEY GRAB ON MY THIGHS-"

Stu Macher & Billy Loomis

Billy is concerned for your wellbeing. Especially when you start singing it at full force with Stu joining in not long after.

Yeah Stu is enjoying this to the max!

Finds it hilarious, who the fuck wouldn't when you've got humour more broken than Brahms' doll-

But seeing you enjoying yourself to this.... absurdity, at least makes Billy calm down from worry. Now he's just concerned your taste in music may infiltrate your taste in movies.

I doubt the man's used to hearing music.... imagine this being his first time hearing it-

OMG he'd probably think this is normal for music.

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE??? XD

If it's not his first time hearing music though? No concern, laughter, nothing. He's neutral, given that this is something that makes you a little chaotic gremlin.

He's happy seeing you comfortable enough around to be a "gremlin" as you call it.

Bubba Sawyer

Don't traumatize him more than he's been already!!

Sure he doesn't realise it, or the fact he's used to it, but the poor guy's already traumatized-

Though he's probably more confused in the whole scheme of things. I mean, he knows what sex is. But just the surface of it.

So he's probably just learnt way too much in such a short period of time.

Oh lord what have you done-

Harry Warden

Okay first of all, why is there no GIF of this man? WTF????

Second; man's from the mines, man's old fashioned, you've probably just thrown way too much modern shit in his face way too quickly that he's just staring at you, the music video, and then the floor.

Poor miner is so confused, especially when the "cum starts spraying".

Oh god he'll probably think it's like dust from the mines spraying everywhere.

Fucking hell that's a vision-

Tiffany Valentine

Finds it amusing? Yes.

Judging? Not as much as you'd expect.

Girl's been through a wild ride, hearing you blast out "4 Big Guys" from your phone wouldn't be the most shocking thing in the world.

Hell. she'd probably encourage you to start singing along to it XD

Oh she's gonna use that song to torture someone with it. She doesn't know how yet, but she's got the idea in her head now

[minus-plus-zer0]

Getting a Dog With Bakugou Headcanons

You're probably dating or married when you pop this question.

And you better believe Bakugou won't even broach the subject unless you ask it first.

"Can we get a doggy? Pretty please?"

You're giving him your classic puppy-dog eyes that he's seen from you a million times before.

And if you get a dog, he knows he'll have to deal with twice the amount of begging.

He wants to say yes to you, but no to the dog. That doesn't make sense at all, but he just really hates saying no to you.

He is just not too fond of dogs, cats, humans, living creatures, inanimate objects, etc. He's a hard sell on everything in life.

He's not 100% against the idea but he'll hear you out because he'd hate to disappoint you. Honestly, he'd rather be shot than see you upset.

However, you also care way too much about Bakugou, the love of your life, so you take the time to convince him rather than inundate him with pleading that will inevitably wear his defenses down. You want him to be happy too!

You point out all the helpful things dogs can do, all the tricks they can learn, the jobs they can get, and the competitions they can win.

Bakugou really likes that last one! You know the boy like the back of your hand.

You point out some of the stronger and sturdier dogs because you know that's more up his alley, but your heart is calling you to the smaller, sweeter, and funnier dogs instead.

Bakugou says the latter types of dogs remind him of you, and you hope that this is a compliment!

(It is)

You go to the shelter to rescue a little fella. It's hard to say if you'll find a dog that simultaneously is in desperate need of a good home while also is capable of doing all the tricks Bakugou wants to teach it. A lot of dogs here have their own issues to go through before even thinking of doing something like competitions, so you text your friends in the Bakusquad to encourage them to adopt the ones you don't pick.

Somehow, you find the right dog for you both.

It's a corgi!

You had a lot of dogs you wanted, but it was really hard to pick. You suggested a Pomeranian because it reminded you of Bakugou, but he shot the idea down solely due to your reasoning. Now that you think about it, maybe it was better that you didn't get a Pomeranian. After all, with Bakugou in your life, having another Pomeranian would just be redundant.

Bakugou doesn't like that line of thinking either.

So your corgi will suffice for now. You're not sure what jobs he can get, but he is definitely good for competitions. You've seen some intense corgi racing on the track before. And although corgis are inherently goofy creatures, Bakugou could at least appreciate how helpful they were. He still had a problem with the little guy's overly judgmental face though.

"What are you staring at?!"

"Aw, don't worry honey! Maybe he just thinks you look cool?"

Once you brought the dog home, the little guy was excited to explore the place. You made sure to get some good step cushions so he could hop onto the couch without hurting his legs or back. You gave him all the food and love he could ever ask for, and you even researched online how to prep your own homemade meals and treats for the guy.

Needless to say, Bakugou was jealous.

"You've replaced me for him!" he says.

He's not wrong. He's currently looking at you in bed cuddling your corgi, who happens to be taking up his spot.

"That's just how life goes sometimes, Katsuki." You shrug in defeat.

Bakugou growls at the dog, who growls back.

The dog is super biased. The dog loves you way more than Bakugou, like by a mile.

You can't have them growling at each other all the time so you hold regular bonding sessions for the three of you to get along.

So now when you make something special for the dog, you end up making a nice baked good for Bakugou too!

But then Bakugou feels guilty seeing you cook so much, so he ends up making something for you as well, and that's how you end up cooking dinner like 3 hours earlier than usual.

When you cuddle with your dog, you're also cuddling with Bakugou who's got his arms wrapped around you while you three watch TV or something.

Bakugou really likes it when the dog growls at the TV. It's like the dog hates whatever is currently being shown.

"Yeah yeah, don't worry you damn dog. I hate this shit too."

While you're away, Bakugou teaches the dog tricks like "Attack!" and "Explode!". The dog is learning much more than it ever wanted... but at least they are becoming quite talented!

If your friends ever get their own dog, Bakugou will have to challenge their dog to a Pokemon battle at some point.

But the best times are when the three of you go on walks through hiking trails. It's something you all can enjoy.

When you finally find a beautiful, scenic view above the entire city, your corgi curls up around your legs and Bakugou kisses you on the forehead. He lingers for a moment to watch your reaction to the view of the city he's given you, and you tell each other for the millionth time you love one another.

"Thank you so, so much for showing me this place, Katsuki!" You squeeze him tight. He squeezes you back, not letting go.

Now he's really glad he didn't say no to you. Maybe one day you'll get another dog...

Then Bakugou will get triple the puppy-dog eyes!

[luveline]

hi jade! I just want to preface this by saying I hope you’re having a good day. I noticed that you were hoping for some hotch requests and I figured I would send one in. if this is too vague or you just don’t feel inspired I completely understand, but maybe you could do something with a stressed hotch getting a little short with reader? he could be on edge because of a high pressure case, or something along those lines! nothing too angsty just some hurt/comfort, heavy on the comfort towards the end if you like! (p.s. I personally love all the eddie and roan as of late, so don’t let anyone make you feel obligated to write for characters you don’t want to.) <3 -w

hi! that is so so kind!! and please don't worry I feel no obligation for that, honestly!!<3 grumpy hotch x fem!reader

Hotch is in his office, like always. If you can't see him, you only ever need one guess as to where he is. And you haven't seen him for a few days now, which is weird and unlike him. When he's in your home state, he makes an effort to see you, to dote on you. 

You take his stairs slowly. Hotch will know it's you before you so much as knock on his office door. He has a hypervigilance that doesn't switch off —he could probably guess who it was by the sound of your breathing. 

"Hotch?" you ask, knocking his door for politeness' sake. 

He looks up for a split-second and not a moment longer. You're disappointed at his lack of reaction. How many times has he come home from wherever it is he's flown off to and hugged you hard enough to crack your spine? And, what? He doesn't like you anymore? What sort of reaction is that? 

"Um, I texted you. That I was coming by. Did you see?" you ask. 

"I've been preoccupied," he says, staring hard at the papers on his desk. He doesn't sound like himself. 

"It's been, like, four days since I've seen you. Since you've seen me. You don't wanna even look at me?" you ask. You wish it had come out softly, sweetly, but his behaviour (or lack of) has caught you by surprise. You sound as wounded as you feel. 

"If you'd looked at my text, you'd see that I'm busy," he snaps. 

Your lips part in silent shock. You drop your hand from the doorway where it had been resting and take a half step backwards and out of his office. Your movement draws his attention, and he finally sees the look on your face. 

"Are you serious?" you ask. 

He exhales bodily. "No." Hotch closes the folder. "No, I didn't mean that." 

You hover awkwardly. Truth be told, you want to run away from the situation entirely, unused to him being anything but kind. You'd like to turn around and leave before you can further embarrass yourself by showing your affection and having it rejected. He's caught you so off guard. 

"Come in, please. I do want to see you." 

You step inside and close the door behind you. It takes a gap of silence for you to decide on where you're going to stand, but eventually you round his desk and lean against it, forcing him to push his chair back in order to be face to face. 

"Is it a bad one?" you ask. 

He nods. "Right here in Quantico." 

You look at his shoulder rather than his face, worried you'll find more vehemence in his expression. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay. And I did read your text, I know you're busy, but busy doesn't tell me if you ate recently, or if you're tired, and those are the kind of things I worry about." You meet his eyes. They're always sombre, but affection softens his brow. You put your hands between your thighs to stop from touching him. "I worry about you, Aaron." 

He must know what you're doing. Tentative, as though worried he's overstepping, Hotch pulls one of your hands into his. He has very big hands, and they dwarf yours near completely when he sandwiches them together. 

"Don't think I didn't hear you, when you first came in," he says. "Hotch, you called me." 

"That's your name." 

He looks you straight in the eye, unabashed. Love lines his face, and apology, his lips curving slowly upwards in an uncommon smile. "Not to you," he murmurs. 

You're still mad at him for being snippy, but the relief of his fondness can't be understated. Your shoulders sag as you relax, your posture arching forward. Hotch leans upward so he can align your faces. If either of you moved an inch, you could kiss. 

"I spoke to you out of turn because I'm stressed. You didn't deserve it. I'm sorry. And I'm grateful to have you looking out for me." His smile abates. "It won't happen again." 

"It won't?" you ask. 

"I'll try my best not to let it." 

You swallow and lean down like you might kiss him, but in actuality you need a second to collect your thoughts. You try to be objective like he is, and it never works. 

Eyes closed, you say, "You've never snapped at me before." 

"I have no reason to." 

When he speaks, it's warm against your cheek. Hotch pulls your arm in a kind encouragement toward him and you follow blindly, setting as much of your weight as you trust him to take on his thigh. He wraps an arm around your back. His lips touch your forehead. 

"Sorry," he says again, rubbing your back. 

"It's not a big deal," you say. 

"I upset you. You weren't expecting it from me. It makes sense for you to feel disappointed." 

"It's not that," you say, thumbing his tie, anything to keep your fidgeting hands busy. "I'm being silly." 

"You're not." 

You're positioned in a twist on his lap, your leftmost ribs to his stomach. He hugs you to his chest and closes the gap between you, his arm encircling you, his hand stretches out across the space under your breasts. It's a comforting, all-encompassing hold. You basically collapse into him, hands desperate at his sides. 

"I missed you," you confess. 

"I miss you," he says, "I'm sorry for being mean." The hand that isn't stretched out across your front appears. He traces your face with two fingertips from the corner of your eye to your jaw, like he's following the path of an invisible tear. His hand flattens, his marriage and pinky finger weave behind your ear, and his thumb pulls at the corner of your mouth. It's so gentle you question if he's even touching you at all. 

He lifts your face to his and kisses you softly. 

"You're not mean," you whisper. "Just grumpy." 

He huffs a laugh through his nose. "Very grumpy. But two minutes with you is enough to make me feel better." 

You hum, "Mm, you're just saying that 'cos you're still in the doghouse, Hotchner." 

His hand falls to your lap. It isn't especially sexual, more intimate than anything as he eases your legs apart to squeeze the soft fat of your thigh. 

"You won't win me over that easily," you say. 

He smiles at you. "No, I don't think I will." There's a secret promise hiding between his words. 

[ghostofhyuck]

NCT Dream getting rejected by you.

Mark Lee

He's going to be so understanding about it! He understands that you're not looking for a commitment at the moment so he thinks that your reason is valid turning him down. Would probably give you a smile and will apologize for taking up some of your time just to meet up with him! You'll feel bad but you don't want to hurt Mark, so you end up apologizing to him too, but he's okay with it! You two assured that you two still can be friends. 

Huang Renjun

Renjun is also very understanding that you rejected him. You told him that you're not looking for a relationship at the moment that's why you rejected him. He'll probably nods and tells you that he's thankful that you straight-up rejected him instead of just leading him onto nothing. You promises Renjun that he's such a nice guy and everything but it's just a you problem. Renjun understands your situation but deep inside he's probably still devastated that he got rejected. 

Lee Jeno

ICB YOU'RE REJECTING JENO. JK. But imagine him smiling at you as he ask you to be his girlfriend and when you turned him down his smile never left! >:( He'll only nod as he listens to you explaining to him that you still have issues from your past relationships that's why you couldn't commit at the moment. His smile never left and he even comforted you during the process! You just rejected him and he's still there comforting you, you'll feel bad because of what you did but you know deep inside that you'll hurt him more if you said yes to him. 

Lee Donghyuck

I feel like Haechan's confident with himself, I mean why would you even reject Haechan? OKAY so you rejected him and you immediately apologized to him. It won't probably sink into him that he got rejected, "what did you say?" he asked, and even though the guilt is swallowing you, you have to repeat your no and your apology to him. "you're rejecting me?" he asks. You only nod and said sorry once again. "Oh. It's okay, I understand." no really, he wanted to ask you why you said no but he's afraid it'll just hurt him more. 

Na Jaemin

Oh I feel like Jaemin's an all-out suitor, he's very sweet and caring to you. But you just couldn't commit at the moment because your priority is your study, you don't want to burden yourself with a relationship that you have to exert effort to. That's why you rejected Jaemin, even explaining to him that you like him too but it's just you're focused on your studies. Jaemin understands it, he knows you! But it'll hurt him that he got rejected, he only nods and wishes you goodluck to your future. 

Zhong Chenle

Chenle would probably nod the moment you said no. His smile fading into a flat line on his lips. He nods then crosses his arms as he listens to your explanation. You told him that you're not looking for a relationship at the moment and you apologized to him for rejecting him. He'll understand why you did it! You offer him that you two can still be friends and he'll just accept it. It doesn't hurt him at all, probably disappointed but he'll brush it off because if he keeps on holding to his rejected feelings, he thinks it's not worth it. 

Park Jisung

BABY COME HERE WHY WOULD YOU REJECT HIM >:( Oh you hurt him! He'll be shocked when you said no and would try to be as understanding as possible but it hurts him when you said that you just see him as a friend because it took him courage to confess to you and to ask you to be his girlfriend only for him to be put into the friendzone. He'll give you a smile and will tell you that he's thankful that you're honest with him. You'll feel guilty but that's what you truly feel about Jisung. :(

[felixitate]

one's elixir | lmh (teaser)

✩ pairing: lee know x reader

✩ genre/au: angst, smut, fluff? acquaintances to lovers, academic mentor, fantasy, wizard!au

✩ rating/est. wc: 18+ | around 20-22k (damn?)

✩ synopsis: you’re a walking disaster. not just in Minho's eyes but for anyone in the academy so when he was asked to supervise you, he had to agree to ensure everyone’s safety. but is it worth the risk to involve himself in something that even you can't control?

a/n: happiest birthday to my first-ever bias in stray kids! he went on live when it struck midnight here so i'm just 😩 i know you've all been waiting for so long so here's a small snippet at least

— part of the Spellbound Secrets series

"did you poison your entire class?" he starts, looking at you dead in the eyes as he drops the worksheet of potion formulas on the desk table. you're taken aback, both from his question and the fact that he's in front of you right now asking that.

"what? where did you hear that?" you almost stuttered, feeling a bit offended but thankfully, you recovered instantly. receiving questions like this isn't new to you knowing how much of a troublemaker you are.

your brain is still processing that the Lee Minho is your designated mentor. depending on the mentee, students who are chosen are seniors and graduate students.

out of all the ones in your department, it had to be him.

someone you've admired from afar for years now.

the idea of Minho having heard rumours about you fuelled further embarrassment in you. from what his friends told you about him, he never pays attention to these things unlike them.

his assumption must’ve been the result of hearing more from your professors. they know how he's like which was probably why the alchemy department sent him as your mentor.

it would definitely be effective but why did it have to be him? is he really the perfect one to possibly straighten you or were they just running out of choices?

you remember it clearly, being chosen to lead an experiment at the beginning of your potions class because of your exemplary record in your other courses. turns out, you're quite the opposite and you didn't just disappoint your professor but also endangered everyone in your class.

"i believe you have an idea already"

it wasn't like you planned it. realizing that using the wrong ingredient and missing the prescribed portion was inevitable. you didn't want to put anyone in danger.

you wonder how much Minho knows.

refusing to spare him another look, you grab the worksheets to distract yourself. while doing so, you did notice the small quirk on the corner of his lips as he sat down when you briefly took a quick glance.

a mix of emotions is bubbling inside you but you at least recovered from the shock. embarrassment, however, is still on a process since you essentially ruined your crush's first impression of you.

however, there's a small happiness in you along with an excitement of Minho being your mentor. this is your chance to know him more than what his friends have told you about him. they gave you a heads up that made you a bit hesitant at first since Minho rejected many girls before. you have no idea how to interact with him and it might end in him only considering you as one of his juniors.

you can still pursue him though so that's why you'll try to behave for now.

"you don't even know me"

"i know enough" he counters, not sparing you a look as he opens another book.

"rumours don't equate to the real me"

"regardless, i only agreed to this because you're a hazard to everyone"

hearing that from someone you admire did sting a little but it's reasonable. he's just concerned for everyone's safety but you're kinda hurt that he'd think that way even if it's technically your fault.

minho could tell that what he said struck something in you cause you never bothered answering him.

"we'll have to set a learning plan for you" he starts, breaking the awkward silence that rules between you both.

"alright, let's get this started"

.

e/n: very long fics are not my forte that's why it's taking me so damn long to finish this one lol. add that @temptaetions and i had to re-outline/rewrite most of the fics (me mostly) since posting the series masterlist because of the extra stuff added during the fanmeeting (vcrs. etc.). thank you for your patience so far, we've been writing behind the scenes to finish them all up so we can release them back to back when the time comes :)

[gurugirl]

Gurugirl's Wattpad & Tumblr Fic Recs

Anything you read in these masterlists won’t disappoint but I’ve picked my absolute favorites from each blog and listed below.

NOTE: I did my best to include all my faves here but I've probably forgotten a few. I intend to add to this list (may need to make a part 2 once I hit my mentions and link limits) because I'm always reading new fics so come back often!

Angst recs (all taken from list below but specific to the more angsty ones)

Daddy kink

Enemies to lovers

Summer vibes & party fics

Personal faves from my own writings

Other blogs I love

Tumblr

@1d1195

One Shot: Right Here: one bed, nightmares, enemies to lovers, hurt/comfort, childhood "friendship," coworker Harry, grumpy/sunshine (I'll let you guess who's who), etc. etc. etc.

@a-strange-familiar

Series: His Memories (3 parts): you and Harry broke up few months back but still love each other. And after all these months you see him again in a party. All memories you tried to push back in your head came back with a powerful speed.

@adorebeaa

One shot: Undo Me: YN reveals a kink in front of best friend!Harry, who is curious…

@awideworldoffanfics

Series: Milking the Grip (5 parts): Harry Styles is a single dad who golfs every Tuesday. Y/N is his babysitter who also happens to work at the golf course he goes to. They’ve never run into each other there. Until they do.

@be-with-me-so-happily

Series: My Way Back Home: YN is left to figure out what to do when the love of her life, Harry, does not remember loving her. (AU)

Series: Don't Worry Darling: Y/N has her first big break as an actress as she lands the leading role in 'Don't Worry Darling'. The only problem is that her co-star is Harry Styles, who she feels has a very big ego. Tensions rise the more they film. All kinds of tension...

One Shot: Friendly Favor: When YN's best friend Harry asks for a favor, she knows it'll be difficult, but she loves him too much to say no. However, it's a dumb plan, and those usually don't end how you think they will.

Series: Laceleaf: Gemma is definitely Cassidy James' favourite Styles family member, considering they are best friends and all. And especially considering that Harry Styles is Gemma's smug and self-centered younger brother. Her life isn't perfect, and neither is she, but she knows for a fact that anything involving Harry gets messy.

@bopbopstyles

Masterlist (anything you pick here will be a pleasure - seriously)

@fkinavocado

Series: Daddy Issues: in which you’ve got textbook daddy issues and when your tool of a younger brother brings a sweet doe eyed girlfriend home for Thanksgiving and you end up offering her a ride home, you meet just the man to fix them. (daddy!harry, dilf!harry)

Series: Hard Candy: in which Harry owns a candy store and he just loves giving good girls special treats… especially after closing time (candyman!Harry)

One Shots & Blurbs: Long Hair Harry One Shots & Blurbs

@freedomfireflies

Series: Playboy: Welcome to 1965, where the women are loose, and the morals are looser. Here you'll meet Michelle and Harry. You don't need to know too much about them. Just that they're both incredibly bold...and incredibly jealous. The summer of June 1965 was a rather wild one for the Playboy Bunnies but even more wild for our two dear friends. Stick around and I'm sure they'll be happy to tell you all about it. You just have to promise one little thing... Don't tell Hefner.

Series: Teach Me: 5 parts - Harry needs a little practice in the art of Eating Pussy, and who better to ask for help than his best friend?

Series: Mafia!harry: 2 parts so far - more to come - Your mafia boss boyfriend, Harry, has been a little neglectful of his most prized possession. But he's found the perfect way to make it right. Exhibition kink!!

@goldenbuckyyy

Series: Illicit Affairs: A series of events between your affair with Harry. (Cheating together)

@harryistheonlyoneforme

One Shot: Little Freak: pairing: dbf harry x reader (so hot - so many kinks all in one little shot - must read)

@harrywritingsbyme

Sneaking Around (a series of shorts): Best friends dad - FUCKING HOT

@helladirections

Series: Brother's Best Friend: Harry is YN’s brother’s best friend, and YN isn’t a little kid anymore. Ft. dom/sub, rough sex, and soft words. 

One Shot: Under Summer Skies: Harry and YN are longtime best friends back for another summer as the Dream Team on staff. Featuring getting called out by 12 year olds, two dumb best friends who can’t see what’s right in front of them, and lots of stargazing.

One Shot: Moka Pot: Do you think you can maybe do y/n and Harry having a slow morning routine? Like drinking tea together, doing skin together, basically just doing everything together? 

@itslottiehere

One Shot: I Don't Want to Hear About Him (angsty): bff!harry writes a song about bff!reader.. and her boyfriend.

@jawllines

Harry is Y/n's Criminology Instructor (2 parts)

Harry is a single dad and y/n is surprisingly good at babysitting (2 parts)

Harry & y/n are witches, they hate eachother, and something's coming (3 parts)

Y/n knows something she shouldn't and Harry does what on Fridays? (4 parts) - Boxer!harry

Harry is a grumpy mechanic and y/n just can't stop talking (4 parts)

@jarofstyles

King of the Jungle (multi part series): Y/N’s family works for a wildlife preservation society and Harry is king of the jungle or tarzan!harry

Lone Wolf (multi part series): Harry is a grumpy alpha who has given up on finding his mate or werewolf!harry

Beauty & the Beast (multi part series): Harry is a moody, withdrawn but successful creature who needs a companion who can tend to his… needs.

@lemoncrushh

Series: The Entertainer: Set in the 70s, Sky Jones meets Harry Styles, an up and coming musician and soon-to-be rockstar. The Entertainer Part II

One Shot: Dressing For Revenge: Still heartbroken from finding your ex cheating on you, you go to a nightclub with your friend Kelsie, where not only do you run into your ex, but also a handsome gentleman who’s willing to help you get over him. Part II

@lukesaprince

Series: Intruder: You were an outside hire for a promotion Harry wanted, and he despises you for it. The hatred is mutual since Harry is a bit of an asshole, until the day of an important presentation where the tension is finally dealt with - A very steamy enemies to lovers romance (domrry)

Series: The Roommate Series: After Y/N’s best friend and roommate Alex decides to move out, she’s desperate for someone to take her place. Alex seems to have found the solution in a British fresh-to-New-York musician who ticks all the boxes. He just happens to be insanely attractive and charismatic… what could go wrong? (friends to lovers)

Series: Fratboy!harry You Can Pretend All You Want: You hate fratboys and everything they stand for, so you decide to prove one wrong by sleeping with him… safe to say it backfires (fratboy!harry, enemies to lovers).

Series: Rich: Neighbour/Older!Harry. A Summer dogsitting job for Mr. Styles is a dream come true for any broke uni student. He's rich, gorgeous and finally fucks you after your weekly dinner together. A series that follows two neighbours who end up in a sexual relationship.

@moonchildstyles

Series: Aster: Harry is a tattoo artist and y/n just wants to know if he's like this all the time or if he just doesn't like her. tattoo artist!harry / lhh!harry

Series: Citrine: Harry's a witch and it's been along time since since he's been around anyone new, but there's no way he was getting y/n out of his head. witch!harry

Series: Chiaroscuro: y/n needed a job but this place is strange and the owner is even stranger. vampire!harry

Series: Prosecco: Harry is just on the edge of 30 and y/n is someone he's sure he shouldn't get involved with. until she seeks him out anyway, and he realizes no one has ever really shown her how she should be treated. older!harry

@0oolookitsme

One Shot: Dazzled: In which Harry has an uneasy feeling about Y/n’s new mission but the devil ignores his guts’ screams. But the vampire as well as his fiancé, Y/n, isn’t dumb and is quick to listen and take some weight off of his shoulders. They both soon find out, why, he was feeling uneasy. 

One Shot: Anything For You... And I: SMUTTY!!!! Dwd!Harry x Dwd-Character!Y/n

@0nlythrowharrybeaux

Friends Share (2 parts):Harry & Y/N have been practically perfect roommates for several years but the appearance of a hot new neighbor creates an unexpected shift in their relationship.

Unavailable (2 parts): Y/N has a very specific preference for unavailable/inappropriate people and Harry is her therapist who is supposed to help her work through this.

@pleasingforharry

Moans & Elevator Music (2 parts): Y/N is in a rush for an interview at her new job, but her luck gives out when the elevators shut down due to a sudden power outage. At least she isn’t alone.

@purplekiwis

Breaking the Ice (2 parts): Hockey!Harry x Skater!Y/N It’s no secret that as a figure skater, you’re fed up with the local hockey team being treated like royalty… and your ex’s status as a player isn’t helping much either.

In the Witching Hours (will be 3 parts): Wizard!Harry x Witch!Y/N; Soulmates AU An emergency admission to the hospital gives rise to a series of strange events but luckily, there’s a cute, shy wizard around…

One shot: Tentmate: Friends With Benefits Y/N has always hated camping… until her and Harry got stuck together in the same tent. (This one is smutty AF)

@s-brant

Series: The Getaway Car: In a drug deal gone wrong, Y/N, daughter to a famous racecar driver, finds herself behind the wheel of a car with a gun to her head. A masked man named Harry demands she helps him evade the authorities, so she does the only thing she knows how to. She drives.

One Shot: Midas Touch: The night before they leave to spend Christmas with his family, a conversation with their friends makes Harry and Y/N confront the future of their marriage.

@stylesloveclub

Series: Pleasing: In which y/n is a broke waitress, and Harry is a Michelin star chef who thinks she’s cuter than a puppy. 

@swiftmendeshoran

Series: Curvy Secret/No More Secrets Daddy: Dad's best friend (dbf!) Harry x plus size reader

@watchmegetobsessed

Series: The Sun Will Rise: You’re glad to be back at college and away from your family. Everything is back to its normal, but you have a little issue: you told your family you’d bring a date to your sister’s wedding, but you have no actual partner. An unexpected deal is made with the person you couldn’t even consider to be your friend: Harry can take the spare room in your apartment for the semester if he’ll be your date for the wedding. But can you actually live together with a guy who obviously dislikes you and you have no idea why? Can you fool your parents into thinking you’re dating Harry? And what will they think about him? Nothing is ever good enough to them, nothing that’s not as perfect as your sister, Alice.

Series: Wildest Fantasies: You’ve been struggling to finish your assignment for Professor Styles’ Creative Writing class. Inspiration is seem to be avoiding you, so to relieve some stress, you mess around with your roommates and write a rather dirty fiction of the hot professor everyone is into on campus. Due to a fatal mistake however, you end up uploading the wrong file as your attachment to your assignment and your wildest fantasies end up in the hands of the person they are about.

Good Girl (Part 2): sugardaddy!Harry / CEO!Harry x Reader

@writerpetals (writes optional male lead smut but you can easily imagine any male *coughharrycough* as the males are described as tall, well-built, with a nice head of hair - read anything this author writes - it's good, you will find almost any trope - ENJOY)

One Shot: Lakeside: werewolf!au, werewolf x reader

@zayndrivesmeinvain

Series (wip): The One That Got Away: In which Harry and Alena were college sweethearts, however, all of that has changed and the only thing keeping in contact is the fact that they have a child together. Is it possible for them to even get to a normal standing friendship or is that long gone? dadrry x oc | single dad!harry

i hit my link limits so was unable to insert link to part one of their series. check out their masterlist and you'll find it!

Wattpad

_miiki

Series: Artwork & Aquarelle: "Sierra, you go with Harry Styles." I raised up my head at the words, giving my teacher an incredulous glance. "Do I really have to?" Was the only thing I managed to say. The teacher gave me an annoyed look. "Did you not understand? You go with Harry Styles." I turned my head to look at him. At the mention of his name he glanced up, and if his green eyes hadn't frozen me in place already, the unimpressed look he gave me would've done it right away.

Aggressivelyfriendly = @aggresivelyfriendly

Series: Who Names the Colors: In the last year, Joanne Smith Giles, has once again become Jo Smith. In another heartbreaking turn of events, she's also the single mother of an infant, again. She knows she can do this on her own, and better at 40 than 19, but it seems weird to be launching a son into manhood, a new career as an art professor, and changing nappies all in one day. She is so thankful when Ethan, her boy, comes home from Uni. Jo could use the help. His best friend, Harry, comes round too. And his launch into manhood may be another heartbreaking turn, for all of them

ErinAlterEgo = @yourwattpadmom

Series: Late night Talking: Alex is craving something at night, and it's not ice cream. Encouraged by her husband to explore a polyamory relationship to meet some of her more....eclectic tastes, she finds herself on a dating app for the first time in her life. She expected maybe some interesting experiences, possibly her first one-night stand ever. She didn't expect to meet a man who made her question everything about herself. Harry is on a new path in his life that is exciting and different than he ever could have imagined. He's looking for excitement, experiences, but definitely not love and attachment. When he meets Alex, he sees a whole new path that he's unsure he wants to go down, but finds it hard to resist.

Hitterj (love all of her stuff!)

Series: All This Time: The coming-of-age story of Harry and Riley who have known each other for years, but never actually knew each other. They've spent countless nights at the same parties, shared a few drinks and glances, they're even on track to graduate top of their class. What happens when out of nowhere they start to connect? Like an invisible string pulls them together, so they can experience life and love and heartbreak. Riley and Harry learn a lot about themselves, and ultimately have to choose what's best for their future no matter how difficult that can be. But does love find a way? After all this time?

Series: Kiwi: If you don't know about this one by now... go read it - super duper smutty and sweet and angsty

Series: Sweet Little Lies: All her life, Ivy Malone has known what her family was. She grew up in the deep, unforgiving world of the mob. Ivy hates her position in life, knowing that her life was never fully hers. Harry Styles was cold. He trusted almost no one, especially his family. He had learned quickly that everyone was waiting for him to fail... to fall. An empire built by his father from the blood and bones of those who stepped in his way was all he had, no matter how much he hated it. He had no choice but to carry on the legacy. And marrying Malone's daughter was the next step in fortifying their defense. With new rivals making a move for power and a mysterious figure haunting the crime families of Queenstown, Ivy and Harry have to learn to live together. A bad start leads them down a tumultuous, passionate, and downright dangerous path, but maybe they were exactly what the other needed to live the life they always craved.

MysteryMixtapes (Just go read all their stuff)

Series: Stall & Stall 2: Violence/gangs/dark

Series: Perspective: Have you ever met someone that made falling feel like flying?

Series: Unforgettable: "If it feels so right, how can it be wrong?"

Peanutboyfriend (read all of Birdie's stuff - you won't regret it)

Series: Aerial: In Malibu, California in 1965, a surfer and world-famous aerialist undergoes a chain of comedic and not-so-comedic mishaps that force him to re-evaluate who he is.

Petit_cerise

Series: Devil's Due & Devil's Desire: Harry Styles, the brooding and intolerable tattoo parlour owner, meets River, a stubborn and somewhat oblivious girl, who just doesn't understand the reasoning behind his nefarious ways but is determined to find out. River comes to realize that Harry's hiding something much deeper than expected... only once those secrets come to the surface, it's too late to turn back.

Sunflowersnstuff

Series: One Word & Wonderland: We're all mad here, it's Wonderland.

ThousandYearsOfHope

Series: Lonely Nights: Willow Mackey is a quiet girl, but she is fiercely loyal and will never lie to you. Harry Styles is her brother's best friend, and someone she'll always have a soft spot for. Grown up and no longer shielded by their ages, lines start to blur, and mistakes keep being made. For the first time in her life, Willow realises that sometimes, the truth is too painful to hear. But how could she ever say no to the one person that's always understood her better than she understands herself?

Series: Pretty Boy: One night of impulse shouldn't lead to much for Joni Lewis, but when she meets the alluring Harry Styles, an opportunity arises that she can't ignore. A Harry Styles short story inspired by Pretty Woman.

Writhali (I really like everything I've read by Thali)

Series: Ambit: Gangs/violence/action/SMUT - "Hell's boring, Birdie." He claims, that cold, dead stare back to his eyes. "And this, this is what I call a Monday night."

[leftoverghosts]

i am drowning

there is no sign of land.

Patrick's announcement hit you like a tennis ball to the gut. He had just gotten back from winning the junior US Open, but instead of celebrating together, he was ending things between you. The sharp sting of disappointment cut through your heart as you struggled to make sense of it all. This wasn't the end of your relationship, though.

find part two here.

patrick zweig x reader. patrick x tashi. mentioned tashi x art.

warnings: angst. like angst for the sake of angst. sex at the end. some curse words. not for minors. p in v sex. use of she/her for reader. no use of y/n. patrick sleeps with reader for a bed.

nori says: hiiiiiii, i've been lurking in the challengers tag and now have something to contribute. this is heavily inspired by the break up scene in whiplash. it just feels so patrick coded. also, i love tashi, it's not her fault that the boys were weird about her. send me ideas if you want to! xoxo.

word count: 4,818

2006, September. Per Se Restaurant, Manhattan.

“Also, Patrick has a girlfriend.” Art had told Tashi, and Patrick had responded with “I do not”.

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

“I can’t believe your dad let us use his reservations. This is the coolest thing ever! I feel so grown up,” a cheerful voice interrupts Patrick’s thoughts, pulling him back to the present moment. Sitting across from you now, celebrating his triumphant win at the Junior US Open, he can't ignore the guilt and doubts that gnaw at him. Though you were never officially a couple, there were undeniable feelings between you two and Patrick had pursued you relentlessly. He couldn't resist your sweetness, especially since you’ve been friends for so long and despite being just a teenage boy with wandering eyes fixed on tennis skirts, even he understands that you genuinely care about him.

Patrick thinks with all the agony that the thing between his legs can muster, that he’s an asshole, that he shouldn’t of fucked up this situationship only to chase after a girl who made him compete for her attention. Part of him hates himself for betraying your trust and pining after someone else, but the other part of him is drawn to Tashi in a way he can't explain. She gets him, but more importantly, she understands true tennis.

Patrick fidgets with his cup of water, tracing your name on the condensation as if it holds some sort of salvation. But deep down, he knows that no amount of apologies or excuses can change what he has done.

"Listen, I have to be honest with you," Patrick finally speaks up, his voice strained with emotion.

You pause, feeling a sense of unease settle in your stomach as you wait for him to continue.

"I can't keep pretending that this is going to work out. My dreams of becoming a professional tennis player are consuming more and more of my time and focus. And when I am with you, all I can think about is training and winning matches."

As his confession sinks in, your world tilts on its axis. The realization hits you with startling clarity - his passion for tennis surpasses everything else in his life, casting a shadow over what bloomed between you. You always knew that tennis was important to Patrick, but you never fully understood just how significant it was until now. Your mind flashes back to all the times you thought tennis was just a hobby for him, a way to cope with his parents' high expectations. Tears prick at the corners of your eyes as you realize that this is not how you imagined your relationship with Patrick ending. You try to hold back your emotions, but they overflow despite your best efforts.

"You'll probably start feeling like I'm ignoring you and get mad that tennis is more important to me than our relationship," he continues, regret evident in his eyes. "And if you ask me to ease up on my training, I won't be able to comply because this is my passion. It's what I was born to do."

"Where is this coming from, Pat?" you ask, your voice trembling with hurt. You had never wanted to come between Patrick and his dreams, but now it seems like there was no other option.

“It’s been building up for a while.” In the midst of shattered expectations and unspoken regrets, Patrick's gaze meets yours fleetingly before retreating, unable to withstand the weight of your hurt and disappointment. The truth hangs heavy in the air - priorities laid bare, futures diverging like roads leading into different horizons. "Because sooner or later, we will start resenting each other for not understanding our priorities. It's better to end things now before they turn toxic."

"I can't believe this, I thought we were in this together." Your palms are clammy and your heart races as you try to process everything. You had been nothing but supportive of him, rearranging your schedule whenever he came home from the academy just to spend time with him. But now he’s telling you that it wasn't enough.

"We were, but I wanna be one of the greats.” He sighs.

“And would I stand in your way?”

“Yeah.”

“You know I would, you're sure about that?” You ask, wishing this would just stop. “Yes.” He reaches out to take your hand, but you pull away, unable to bear his touch after what he's done. "I'm sorry," he mutters, his face contorted with guilt and sadness, and the knowledge that he’s a liar. That this conversation is only happening because he’s chasing greatness and Tashi Duncan.

"I'm just a naive girl to you, aren't I? Someone who will never measure up to your grand ambitions.” As the words tumbled out of your mouth, your voice quivers with hurt and disbelief. You couldn't comprehend how someone that you love could make you feel so worthless. “You'll leave me behind as you chase after greatness," you cried out, feeling utterly small and insignificant in his eyes. “You don’t understand me. You never have." His accusation is like sharp, dagger-like punctuation mark, ready to cut off any lingering hopes and pierce through the heart of your relationship.

You look at him, feeling a mix of anger and heartache. "Why did you even bother pursuing me then? If your tennis career was always going to come first?"

"I'm sorry," he finally says, his voice heavy with remorse. "I never should have said those things."

His apology hangs in the air, hollow and insufficient. The bustling restaurant fades into the background as you try to comprehend the sudden change in your reality.

"Sorry doesn't fix this, Patrick," you say, your voice barely above a whisper.

Patrick runs a hand through his curly hair, frustration etched across his face. "I know, I know. I'm messing everything up. It's just... there's so much pressure. The tennis, my parents, the academy. And now..."

He trails off, leaving the sentence unfinished. You lean forward, searching his face.

"And now what, Pat? What aren't you telling me?"

Patrick's blue eyes meet yours for a moment before darting away. "There's someone else," he admits quietly.

Your heart shatters into a million pieces, each shard piercing your chest with unbearable pain. The revelation hits you like a serve you never saw coming, leaving you breathless and disoriented. You struggle to find words, your mind reeling from the betrayal.

"Someone else?" you finally manage to choke out, your voice barely audible over the clinking of glasses and murmur of conversation around you. "Who?"

Patrick shifts uncomfortably in his seat, avoiding your gaze. "Her name is Tashi. We met at a party after the tournament. She's... she understands tennis in a way that—"

The name strikes a chord of recognition. Tashi Duncan. You've heard whispers about her – the rising star in the tennis world, known for her fierce determination and unmatched skill on the court. Suddenly, everything clicks into place. The late-night phone calls, the distracted looks, the growing distance between you and Patrick

"That I never could," you finish for him, bitter understanding washing over you. Of course. Of course it would be someone from his world, someone who could match his ambition step for step.

"I think she could make me really happy," Patrick says, his voice pleading for you to just get it.

“You know, I really do hope that you make it. I hope you get to be number one or whatever,” You let out a wet scoff, he could have at least let you finish your meal. “But I’m glad that I’ll never understand you, Patrick.”

With those words, the conversation comes to a halt as you both sit in stunned silence. The waitress brings over your food, but neither of you have an appetite anymore. Patrick pushes his plate away, his stomach churning with guilt and regret. He realizes now that breaking things off like this is a mistake, he’s a coward, he shouldn’t have met up with you in person.

2019, August. Parking lot of a Roadside motel, New Rochelle.

Patrick slams his fist against the side of his beat-up Volkswagen Tiguan in frustration, feeling the sting of anger and disappointment course through him. His phone remains pressed to his ear, waiting for you to pick up, but it rings on with no answer. He begins and deletes a desperate text to you, twice, before finally you're calling back and he answers on the first ring. “Hey! Got a weird favor to ask you. Your new place is near Westchester, right?” His voice trembles with nervousness as he taps his fingers anxiously against the car door.

“A whole year, that’s a new record for you. Run out of money already?”

“Shit,” he swears under his breath, trying to use some charm or magic to convince you. “You know how the tour goes. I’ve been struggling to stay afloat. But uh, how’ve you been?” He forces a smile through the grimace as he thinks about his current financial state - a checking account with only $70 left. It’s a far cry from the greatness he once promised he was leaving you to pursue.

“Go to hell, Patrick.” The line goes dead and he pulls the phone away from his face, staring at it in disbelief as if willing you to call back. He knows you, so he waits anxiously until a notification with your name appears again on the screen, accompanied by a new address.

Same day. Private residence, Bronxville.

Everyone knows that Patrick's parents have stopped providing financial support for him, and even though your own father would be furious if he knew you were aiding this deadbeat, you can't bring yourself to let him go without. It's only the occasional bit of cash for gas or food, but Patrick always finds a way to repay you in ways that you didn’t even know you needed. There is an unspoken agreement between the two of you that hangs heavily in the air.

Despite everything, you can't turn him away completely, even knowing he will never truly change. Tennis is his first, great love and with the Donaldsons in town, you can't help but think Tashi might still be his second. And you, you are nothing more than a temporary lifeline – a benefactor to someone who will never truly appreciate your sacrifices.

His heart races with guilt and desperation as he parks his car and approaches your door. He knows he doesn't deserve your help, but the familiarity of these meetings brings a sense of safety.

You watch from your living room window as Patrick's battered Volkswagen pulls into your driveway. The sight of him emerging from the car, all scruffy charm and desperate energy, sends a familiar pang through your chest. You take a deep breath, steeling yourself for the encounter to come.

As Patrick approaches, you open the door before he can knock. He stands there, looking simultaneously sheepish and hopeful, his eyes searching your face.

"Hey," he says, his voice soft. "Thanks for... you know."

You scoff at his attempt at gratitude, your bitterness cutting through the air like a knife. "Is that supposed to be a thank you? I didn't know you knew how to use manners," you retort, your tone dripping with resentment. It's not like you to be so angry, but Patrick always has a way of bringing out the worst in you.

You step aside, allowing him to enter and close the door after him. Patrick's eyes dart around your new place, taking in the tasteful decor and the obvious signs of your success.

"Nice place," he comments, his voice tinged with a hint of envy.

You shrug, maintaining your emotional distance. "It serves its purpose."

Patrick nods, fidgeting with the hem of his worn t-shirt. The silence stretches between you, thick with unspoken words and shared history.

At thirty-two years old, in the final stages of your cardiology fellowship, your father still treats you like a child who is expected to become an astronaut neurosurgeon, or some other fantastical career straight out of a Barbie movie. Meanwhile, your mother constantly laments about not having any grandchildren to spoil, as if that is the sole purpose of your existence. You often snap back with sarcastic remarks, such as suggesting that your cat could use a new diamond-encrusted bowl, a sharp retort that only serves to deepen the tension between you. The truth is, you yearn for an escape just like Patrick did. If you had any talent for tennis, you would have run away long ago.

Patrick clears his throat, breaking the heavy silence. "I, uh... I really appreciate you helping me out. I know I don't deserve it, after everything."

You let out a humorless laugh, crossing your arms over your chest. "You're right. You don't deserve it. But here we are."

He takes a step closer, his gaze intense and pleading. "I never meant to hurt you. Everything just got so complicated, with tennis and Art and Tashi and—"

"Don't." You hold up a hand, cutting him off. "I don't want to hear about her. Or about tennis. I’m not sixteen drooling over you anymore. I don’t need to pretend that I care. That's your world, Patrick. It always has been."

He looks down, shame and regret etched across his handsome features. "I know. I fucked up. I fuck everything up."

Despite your anger and resentment, a part of you softens at his vulnerability. You've known Patrick for so long, seen him at his best and his worst. And even after all the heartbreak, there's still a connection between you that refuses to die.

"Why do you keep coming back here, Pat?" you ask, your voice barely above a whisper. "Why me?"

Patrick lifts his gaze to meet yours, and for a moment, you're transported back to that fateful dinner at Per Se, when your world first began to crumble.

"Because you're the only one who really knows me," he admits, his voice raw with emotion. "The only one who sees past the bullshit and the bravado. Even when I don't deserve it."

Your heart clenches at his words, the irony in them isn’t lost on you.

“I still hate you.” You say as you step forward and wrap your arms around him, feeling the solid warmth of his body against yours. Patrick stiffens for a moment before melting into the embrace, burying his face in the crook of your neck.

"I'm sorry," he murmurs, his breath hot against your skin. "For everything."

You close your eyes, allowing yourself this moment of vulnerability, of connection. Tomorrow, you'll go back to your separate lives - you to your fellowship and the weight of your parents' expectations, Patrick to his endless pursuit of tennis glory and the shadow of Art Donaldson. But tonight, in the quiet of your home, you can pretend that things are different, that the choices you've made haven't led you down such divergent paths.

As the embrace lingers, the air between you shifts, charged with a familiar tension. Patrick pulls back slightly, his eyes searching yours, asking a silent question. Your breath catches in your throat as his gaze drops to your lips, and you know what comes next.

It's a dance you've done before, a temporary escape from the harsh realities of your lives. And as Patrick leans in, capturing your lips in a searing kiss, you let yourself surrender to the moment, pushing aside the hurt and resentment that has festered for so long. His hands roam your body with a desperate urgency, as if trying to memorize every curve and contour before this fleeting connection inevitably fades away.

You melt into his touch, your own hands tangling in his curly black hair, pulling him closer. The kiss deepens, a clash of tongues and teeth. Patrick's fingers find the hem of your shirt, slipping beneath the fabric to caress the soft skin of your waist.

A moan escapes your lips as his touch ignites a fire within you, a burning desire that consumes rational thought. You tug at his clothes, needing to feel his skin against yours, to lose yourself in the physicality of the moment.

Patrick responds in kind, his lips trailing hot kisses down your neck as you head towards the bedroom. You stumble together, a tangle of limbs and half-shed clothing, until you fall onto the bed in a heap.

For a moment, you stare at each other, chests heaving, eyes dark with want. His lips trail scorching kisses down your neck, his stubble rasping against your sensitive skin.

"Pat," you gasp, arching into his touch as his hands touch wherever they can reach.

He pauses, hovering above you, his eyes dark with desire and something more, something akin to regret. "Tell me to stop," he whispers, his voice strained. "Tell me you don't want this."

But you can't. Because despite everything, the hurt and the anger and the years of distance, you do want this. You want him, even if it's just for tonight, even if it's a mistake you'll regret come morning.

"Don't stop," you breathe, pulling him back down to you.

Your shirt is discarded, followed by your bra, as Patrick's hands and mouth map the newly exposed skin. He lavishes attention on your breasts, his tongue swirling around each nipple until they peak into hardened buds. You writhe beneath him, your nails digging into his broad shoulders as the pleasure builds.

Patrick's lips trail lower, blazing a path down your stomach, his fingers hooking into the waistband of your jeans. He pauses, glancing up at you through his lashes, silently seeking permission. You lift your hips in response, and he tugs the denim down your legs, taking your panties with them.

Exposed and vulnerable, you fight the urge to cover yourself, to hide from the intensity of his gaze. But Patrick looks at you like you're the most beautiful thing he's ever seen, his eyes filled with a reverence that steals your breath.

"You're perfect," he murmurs, his hands skimming up your thighs, spreading them wider. "I never deserved you."

Before you can respond, his mouth is on you, his tongue delving into your folds, lapping at your most sensitive spots. You cry out, your back arching off the bed as he works you with expert precision, stoking the fire that burns within you.

Patrick slips a finger inside you, then two, curling them just so as his tongue continues its relentless assault on your clit. The dual sensations are almost too much to bear, and you feel yourself hurtling towards the edge, your body tensing in anticipation.

"Pat, I'm going to—" you gasp, your words cut off by a moan as he redoubles his efforts, determined to unravel you completely.

And then you're shattering, your orgasm crashing over you in waves of blinding ecstasy. Patrick works you through it, his fingers and tongue gentling as you come down from the high, your body trembling with aftershocks.

He crawls back up your body, pressing tender kisses to your skin as he goes. When he reaches your lips, you taste yourself on his tongue, a heady reminder of the intimacy you've just shared.

"I need you," you whisper against his mouth, your hands fumbling with the button of his jeans. "Please, Patrick."

He helps you undress him, kicking off his jeans and boxers until he's as bare as you are. His erection springs free, hard and heavy against his stomach, and you reach out to wrap your fingers around him, reveling in the velvety softness of his skin.

Patrick groans at your touch, his hips jerking forward involuntarily. "Condom," he grits out, reaching for his discarded basketball shorts.

You wait impatiently as he rolls the latex over his length, your body thrumming with anticipation. When he settles between your thighs again, the blunt head of his cock nudging at your entrance, teasing you with the promise of fullness. Your breath hitches as he slowly pushes forward, stretching you deliciously as he fills you inch by inch. A low moan escapes your lips at the exquisite sensation of him inside you, his thick length pulsing with need.

Patrick stills for a moment, giving you time to adjust, his forehead pressed against yours as he struggles to maintain control. "God, you feel incredible," he rasps, his voice strained with desire. "I've missed this. Missed you."

The confession tugs at your heart, a bittersweet reminder of the connection you once shared, the love that never quite died despite the pain and the years apart. You cling to him, your legs wrapping around his waist, urging him deeper.

He begins to move then, his hips rocking against yours in a steady rhythm that builds in intensity with each thrust. You meet him stroke for stroke, your bodies moving in perfect sync, as if no time has passed at all. The room fills with the sounds of skin slapping against skin, the mingled gasps and moans, the whispered words of encouragement and praise.

Patrick's mouth finds yours again, his kisses deep and demanding, as if he's trying to pour all of his unspoken emotions into the press of his lips. Your fingers tangle in his curly black hair, tugging lightly as the pleasure builds, coiling tighter and tighter within you.

He shifts the angle of his thrusts, hitting that spot deep inside you that makes stars explode behind your eyelids. You cry out, your nails raking down his back, leaving crescent-shaped marks in their wake. Patrick hisses at the sting, but it only seems to spur him on, his movements becoming more frantic, more forceful.

"Touch yourself," he commands, his voice rough with need. "I want to feel you come around me."

Obediently, you slip a hand between your bodies, feeling the heat and sweat radiating off of Patrick's skin. Your fingers glide lazily over his chest and down towards the area of need. However, unsatisfied with your own rhythm, Patrick's fingers boldly enter your mouth, collecting the saliva and making you involuntarily gag. Without hesitating, his fingers make their way back down to their intended destination, gently nudging yours out of the way. His thumb finds your clit, tracing tight circles around the sensitive bundle of nerves. The added stimulation sends electric shocks of pleasure coursing through your body, causing your inner walls to flutter around his throbbing cock.

You arch into his touch, your hands now exploring the hard planes of his chest, tracing the lines of his happy trail.

As Patrick moves within you, his eyes lock with yours, and for a moment, you can almost pretend that this means something more than a temporary escape, a fleeting connection in the midst of your fractured lives. But deep down, you know the truth.

This is all you can ever have with Patrick - stolen moments of passion, brief respites from the weight of your respective burdens. Tomorrow, you'll go back to being strangers, two people whose paths diverged long ago, held together only by the tenuous threads of history and desire.

With each deep thrust, Patrick stokes the fire building within you, pushing you closer to the brink of release. The fingers of his other hand dig into the soft flesh of your hips as he drives into you with increasing urgency, chasing his own climax.

"I'm close," he pants, his breath hot and ragged. "Give me another one. Come with me, baby. I’ve got you."

The endearment slips out unbidden, a echo of the past, of the tender moments you once shared. It's enough to send you tumbling over the edge, your walls clenching around him as euphoria floods your senses. Patrick follows a heartbeat later, a guttural groan tearing from his throat as he spills himself inside you, his hips jerking erratically with the force of his release.

As your breathing slows and reality seeps back in, the weight of your history, of all the unspoken words and unresolved hurt, settles heavily in the room. Patrick rolls off of you, disposing of the condom before collapsing onto the mattress and pulling you to him.

For a long moment, you lie tangled together, chests heaving, hearts racing in sync. Patrick's weight is a comforting presence, his face buried in the crook of your neck as the aftershocks of pleasure gradually subside.

But as the haze of desire dissipates, reality begins to seep in, cold and unforgiving. You feel Patrick tense against you, his body growing rigid as the magnitude of what you've done settles over him. He moves away from you, tugging on his boxers in swift, mechanical movements.

The silence that stretches between you is heavy with unspoken regrets, with the bitter knowledge that this changes nothing. You pull the sheet up to cover your nakedness, suddenly feeling exposed and vulnerable in the harsh light of aftermath.

You turn your head to look at him, taking in the familiar lines of his profile, the curl of his lashes against his cheek. "What are we doing, Pat?" you ask softly, your voice barely above a whisper.

He sighs, running a hand through his sweat-dampened hair. "I don't know," he admits, his gaze fixed on the ceiling. "I just... I needed this. Needed you."

Your heart clenches at his words, a bittersweet mix of longing and resignation. You know you should put a stop to this, to the cycle of hurt and temporary solace that keeps bringing you back together. But the pull between you is too strong, the history too deep.

"I can't keep being your escape, Patrick," you say, your voice trembling slightly. "I can't keep pretending that this means something more than it does."

He turns to face you then, his lake blue eyes searching yours, a flicker of something raw and vulnerable in their depths. "What if it could?" he asks, his voice barely above a whisper. "What if we could make it mean something more?"

For a moment, you allow yourself to imagine it - a life where you and Patrick find a way to bridge the gap between your worlds, to build something real and lasting. But the dream fades as quickly as it forms, the harsh realities of your lives intruding once more.

"I wish things could be different," Patrick murmurs, his voice barely audible in the stillness of the room. "I wish I could be the man you deserve."

Your eyes search his face for a glimmer of the boy you once knew, the one who stole your heart with his reckless charm and unbridled ambition. "We both made our choices, Pat," you whisper, your fingers reaching over to brush a stray curl from his forehead. "We can't go back.”

Patrick moves to sit on the edge of the bed, his back to you, shoulders hunched with the weight of his thoughts. You watch him, your heart aching with a familiar longing, a desperate wish for things to be different.

“I don’t even know what you really want from me. I doubt you do either. You’re just latching onto me because I’m something steady to grab a hold of.” Your voice is soft, tentative. “Look at me, Pat.”

He flinches at the sound of his name, as if the mere utterance is a painful reminder of the intimacy you've just shared. "Don't," he says, his tone flat, emotionless. "Please, just… don't."

You swallow back the words that threaten to spill out, the confessions and pleas that will only fall on deaf ears. Because you know, deep down, that Patrick will never be yours, not in the way you want him to be. His heart belongs to the court, to the thrill of the game, to the relentless pursuit of greatness that has consumed him for as long as you've known him. And the more it alludes him, the more desperate he is to obtain it.

And you? You're just a temporary port in the storm, a fleeting respite from the chaos of his life. A reminder of the girl he left behind, the love he sacrificed on the altar of his ambition.

Patrick stands abruptly, reaching for his discarded clothes. He dresses quickly, efficiently, his movements sharp and purposeful. You watch him in silence, a lump forming in your throat as the weight of the moment settles over you.

“Will you stop?” You sit up, pulling the blanket around you. “Just sleep here for tonight, Pat. You’re being difficult for no reason.”

Patrick's steps falter as he turns to you, his grip tight on the fabric of his shirt. His face is a mix of anger and frustration, but then it transforms into a vulnerable expression that catches you off guard. He runs a hand through his hair before letting out a heavy sigh. "I know I shouldn't ask after what happened between us...but will you come watch me play tomorrow?"

[bangchansgirlsblog]

Overprotective

-9th member

Warnings: Angst, fighting.

Pairing: strays kids 9th member

Summary: being an idol is hard but it’s even harder when you want to be a normal teen but you can’t.

Enjoy!🩷

**

"But Chris!" I say yelling from the other side of the room.

We had been arguing for almost 10 minutes now and he wasn’t budging at all.

"I know you wanna go for the concert but we have a flight the next day, it won't be okay and I'm not risking you going out alone with non of the boys with you." He says crossing his hands and glaring at me.

"But Chris! I'll be with the girls-"

"The girls that im not in charge of! The girls that drink like maniacs and do stupid shit. You'll end up in a ditch!" He shouts at me.

He was currently sat on the dining table and his laptop was out meaning he was doing work.

I thought it would be a good idea to ask him about going for a concert tonight with the girls that I used to train with. They had invited me out and since I had been behaving I thought Chan would allow me too.

"Please Chan this is the only time I get to be a normal teen. I'll be back early and I won't touch or do anything illegal I promise." I complain in my whining voice.

"Nope." He simply says and I get even more angry.

"Chris you don't even let me go out! Why are you being like this!" I grab the pillow and throw it at him but he dodges it and glares at me.

"You know why I am! Im not arguing about this anymore. Go to your room and make sure all your stuff is packed. This conversation is done.”

"Ugh! I wish I never became a K-pop idol! I hate you!" I scream. I knew I was being dramatic but I had to atleast get my lick back. I refused to let him win this argument.

"If I knew you were gonna act like this I wouldn't pick you in the first place! You’re such a brat!" His voice louder than before.

"Woah woah woah what's going on In here?" Leeknow says walking into the room. Obviously coming out from the shower.

"Get your daughter before I yell at her even more." He tells him. standing up to pace the room.

"Y/nie what happened baby girl?" Leeknow asks wrapping his arms around me.

I knew if I told leeknow about the concert he would have been more stern than Chan. He would have mean more stricter.

“Hey why are you crying? Talk to me.” He softly says wiping off the tears that run down my cheeks.

“It’s nothing, Chan’s just being a jerk,” I spat and shrugged his arms off before walking up the stairs.

"What did you do Chan?" I hear him ask Chan.

Chan and leeknow always acted like the mum and dad of the group. In every situation.

I hear them whispering, Chan probably telling him about the concert and I hear leeknow gasping. Knowing trouble was coming my way I silently groan and walk in the dark corridors making my way to my room.

All the other guys were at practice or shopping cause we were going to leave in the morning so the house was quiet.

Being an idol was fun, I enjoyed it but that means I wasn't allowed to grow up in a normal space.

Being the youngest in the group of boys made it worse cause they were bugging on me and checking on me 24/7 and since my parents didn't leave in Korea they gave all guardian rights to Chan. Making me his "child".

A sigh escapes my mouth.

I sit on the carpet and fold my clothes while putting them in my pink suitcase.

We were going to New York for Lollapolza so I had to make sure I packed quite a lot. So I was busy, my thoughts were taunting me.

Chan's words didn't leave my head as I was busy packing up everything,

I was so upset that I didn't hear or see Leeknow walking in.

I wipe my tears and give him a smile, knowing he was going to scold me. I just knew it.

"Honey." He says with his scolding tone.

"Yes leeknow."

"You've disappointed me" he softly says.

"But Lee-"

"Chan is your elder, he watches over you like a father. He makes sure you eat sleep and rest and he helps you get to the goals you wanna reach right?"

"Yes but Leeknow-"

"No no no, you've hurt his feelings. I want you to apologize because I know me and him didn't raise you like this. We raised you to be respectful and to listen" he holds my hand and slowly rubs circles on them just to make sure I wasn’t upset but I was.

"What about my feelings leeknow you don't want to listen to me!" I blurt out frustrated.

He takes it by surprise cause I never dared raise my voice at him or yell at him.

"Excuse me?" He says raising an eyebrow. I quickly regret it and say a tiny “sorry” causing him to nod his head for me to continue

"Leeknow it's tiring watching all my friends having fun while I'm stuck on the side. When my friends are partying and having fun, I have dance practice from 6-12 in the night. I'm tired I just asked for one night out."

"But look baby girl, I know you want to be normal sometimes but you worked for this. You chose this life and the harsh truth is, Chan is looking out for you and our image. You can't be caught out drinking and smoking with boys." He says softly.

He obviously didn't get it but I was so exhausted from fighting I just nodded.

"Okay now wash your face, the boys are almost home and we'll have dinner. I hope your done packing." He says while getting up from the ground.

I just say a little hum and zip up my bag.

I take a shower and wear what looked like Jeogin's hoodie and some sweatpants and make my way down stairs.

All the guys were sitting on the table and the tension in the room was high.

"Hey munchkin," Han says kissing my forehead.

I tell him a little hello and he frowns at my dull face.

He obviously knew why I was upset but he didn't know it affected me this much.

Leeknow brings out the food and we all start to eat when I get a text on my phone causing me to look at it.

Maknae's On 🔝 :

Felix: we hard about the fight you had with Chan 😬

I.N: yeah sorry about it pookie.

Y/n: Guys we're on the table Chan is going to tell us off! Stop texting.

*cough cough* I look up to see Chan glaring at me obviously wanting to get my attention.

"No phones on the table Y/n you know this." Chan says while putting his fork down

"I was telling them to stop-"

"Just put it away and stop arguing." He cuts me off and grabs the bowl of potatoes.

"Are you serious right now Chan?" I ask in disbelief.

Why was he only picking on? Was he that angry at me? If he was going to be mad he should just say so instead of picking on me.

"Y/n let it go." Changbin says getting in the middle of the fight.

"But I was just-"

"What did we talk about?" Leeknow asks.

I scoff and put my phone down.

Saying things under my breathe because I was so mad.

The evening consisted of all the boys talking about the flight and discussed dance moves or general performance things.

I sit there quiet thinking about how I would be at a concert right now having a blast but I was home being given the Cold shoulder.

I grab my plate and put it in the sink leaving everyone in the dining room and making my way to my room.

I turn off all the lights and sit in the darkness scrolling through my phone trying to calm down.

It was long before I heard a knock on the door.

It was my oldest ‘brother’.

"Can I come in?" He softly says but I turn my back on him and look the other direction. Still very angry at him.

"Fair enough, I still am coming in." He sighs and sits by my bed.

The room is quiet.

"I'm sorry Y/nie" he says while brushing my hair.

His touch is soft and delicate almost like he didn’t want to break me or hurt me.

When he realized I wasn’t going to talk he just continued talking:

"Your the only girl in the group AND your the youngest. I worry okay? I worry because as men in this industry we see a lot but the women have seen worse. Your still a baby Y/nie. I wouldn't forgive myself if anything happened to you. I basically raised you. I want the best for you always. I know what I said has hurt you, it wasn't my intention but you hurt me, and being your older brother I was disappointed. Channie loves you so much and Im happy your on my team okay?" He finalizes and I feel a drop on my shoulder.

I look at him and watch he had tear stained eyes. My heart breaks and the guilt starts to fill my stomach.

"Oppa don't cry because of me. I'm sorry." I get up and wipe his tears. Hugging him tight.

"I was just angry, I don't hate you I promise. I just need to understand things Channie..." I trail off and look at my hands.

“And that’s okay, you’re still young and I’m going to do whatever it takes to protect you.” He softy says and pulls me into his arms one last time.

“Also I’m sorry for yelling at you during dinner, I put the boys out in time out.”

“You did?”

“Yeah no gaming for the next hour.” He says proudly.

“Ohh that’s a nice one.” I give him a high five while we laugh.

**

Hey *with rizz*😜

[lvlyghost]

Hi I just read your “The Things I Never Said” oneshot and loved it. Can I get a kind of opposite version where Simon wishes to be a dad but the reader never wants to be a mom so she freaks out and gets an abortion with out Simons knowledge and later he somehow finds out? Maybe angst to fluff? Totally ignore this if you dont want to, have a wonderful day/night.

The Things I Wish I Said

Pairings: Simon "Ghost" Riley x F!Reader

Summary: You decide to end things with Simon after what you did.

Word Count: 1.7k

Tw: hurt, comfort, angry simon, angst, implied abortion. Not proofread.Think that's it but lmk if i missed anything!🐸

A/N: here it is! I hope this doesn't disappoint and that it lives up to your expectations 😰🤞🏻 I really enjoyed writing this one and since it's similar to my previous fic decided to name it quite similar. ✨💞

Masterlist✨Masterpost

He doesn't know. You stare at Simon's gargantuan body as he barks orders to the new recruits. Things have been rather... tense lately. And it's all because of you.

Yesterday had taken a toll on you. A big piece of your heart and soul lost forever in that godamn clinic. You can still smell the perfume of the nurse, feel the hands of the doctor as he tried to comfort you. You're deadly pale, tired and numb. That's why you're sitting on the other side of the field, watching the rest of your team training as usual. Nothing changes for them. You on the other hand? Can't even look at Simon in the eyes. Not anymore. The one thing he wanted the most was also the one you were the most reluctant to. It just wasn't you.

You didn't have it in your DNA. To be a mother. To carry a baby in your arms. And not because you're selfish, but you had decided a long time ago that having children was off the table.

Even when everybody would say 'you'll change your mind when you find the one'. Well it was a blatant lie because you found him. You loved Simon. You'd do whatever he asked of you. Just not this. And you hate yourself for it.

You lied to him and didn't mention anything. Didn't tell him you were pregnant with his offspring.

Couldn't even bare to maintain a conversation with him. And he's starting to notice the way your body startles when he reaches out to you. How you avoid his gaze or not kiss him anymore.

"Feeling better?" He questions, strong arms crossed. Simon doesn't fully look down where you sit but side eyes you. He awaits. You're looking out to the field, ignoring his presence as you swallow the lump in your throat.

"Not really, Lieutenant." You simply add, in a hushed tone.

He sighs but doesn't move, starting to lose his patience. He's trying so hard to understand why you're acting like this. He's preoccupied. Anxious. Yet doesn't let it show, remaining stoic as ever.

"Wanna talk about it, Sergeant?" Biting down on your lip and fidgeting with your hands you shake your head. Simon rubs his face, annoyed that whatever the fuck is happening is driving the both of you apart, so he sits down on the bench next to you. "What is it?" He turns his head to you. Arms resting on his knees.

"Simon..." you warn him with a sad tone.

"No. That's an order."

"Sir, we're done here..." One of the recruits shouts from the other side.

"You bloody keep going until I tell you to stop!" He seethes, making you flinch.

Resting your head on your hands, start thinking about the inevitable. About what you're going to do. Your heartbeat racing when you feel his eyes on you again.

"Simon..." you say. "I... I- don't think we should be together right now." It hurts deep inside because all that's left is the rustling of wind and the voices of the soldiers around. You don't turn to see his reaction, probably wouldn't be able to stand it. It's not because you didn't love him. In fact, you loved him more than he could imagine. It's what you did behind his back what's eating you alive. And the best way you can seem to cope with it is to leave him.

Not a sound comes from him for the next few seconds. Until you finally find the courage to look his way. Blue eyes scan your body.

"As you wish, kid." He whispers. You can't see it but he's already spiraling down to a dark place.

The one good thing he had...

-

"I've had enough!" Soap's voice booms in the hallway and then your door bursts open. You shriek, standing up from the bed. "I can't stand it anymore lass. You've gotta talk to him." He says.

"Johnny... we've talked about this." You murmur.

"No. I'm being serious! Ghost is more irritated than usual, he almost punched me for saying he needed to get laid. The bloody hell happened to you both?" His eyebrows furrow. "You need to figure this out, otherwise..."

"It's complicated." You deadpan.

"Well then bloody make it right! Steaming fucking Jesus you two acting like fucking children. Grow the hell up."

You had never seen Johnny this mad.

Of course you were aware of Ghost's attitude since you two broke up. And it's only been three weeks. You've been attending the military counselor since then, it's a sorrowful feeling when you think about Simon, while you talk about him. About what led to the end of your relationship or whatever it was that you two had going on.

"I believe what you went through was hard and painful. But I do think that he deserves an answer." she had insisted. "He needs to know."

It was easier said than done. Every time you thought about going to his room or wherever he'd be you got this uneasy feeling, like he somehow despised you now. That all the soft smiles and gentle caressing that were once just for you had turned into frowns and harsh commands. Dismissing you whenever you showed up to training. Not even making eye contact during debriefs. Walking right past you in the corridor. You can't help but wonder if the baby's eyes would've been more like him or yours.

Stop.

The counselor said it was a type of ptsd and that therapy would help you get through it.

"The first step is to let yourself feel that pain, make amends with it, and then go see him."

"I'll try to talk to him Johnny. I promise." You murmur, jaw clenching.

The mere thought of going to speak to Simon made your hands sweat and your heart beat frantically.

Three days after the conversation with Soap, you stand in front of Simon's bedroom door. Blinking rapidly as your mind races with all the things you ought to say. It's almost one in the morning, unable to sleep you decided the conversation couldn't wait any longer. You couldn't wait anymore. Swallowing down saliva you raise your hand, two soft knocks on the door echoing in the empty hallway and you wait patiently, fumbling with your hands as the anxiety begins to raise.

Simon doesn't open so you knock again two times only to be greeted by more silence and a loud thunder outside in the sky.

A quiet huff leaves your mouth as you turn on your heel and leave. Wandering around the compound with no clear direction. It's dead silent, you're left with your own self destructive thoughts as you walk past the gym. A low thud can be heard from behind the doors so you backtrack and take a glimpse through the window.

Why is he at the gym at this ungodly hour?

Pushing past the door you walk sluggishly, Simon's quick to notice the disturbance, ready to snap at whomever is here to interrupt his midnight routine. It's been like this for weeks now; not being able to sleep. The nightmares that had disappeared for the most part came back with full force.

There's a hollow feeling inside of him ever since you decided to call it quits. He doesn't fucking understand, he's mad. Furious even. Can't help the anger whenever he wakes up and you're not there anymore. Can't bear the sight of you during debriefings and not even looking his way. The way you freeze when he has to order you around.

Had he done anything to make you fearful of him?

He needed to know, he needs answers. He'd ask tomorrow. He swears. Whatever it was. Then he'll walk away.

He stands from where he was about to start the second round of push-ups. Simon's able to recognize your silhouette with the lights off, he just knows you that well. Wherever you were, in a sea full of people he'd know it's you even then.

"Sorry..." you murmur. Simon's looking at you over his left shoulder through the mirror in front of him, you stand a few steps behind him. "I didn't mean to interrupt."

He stays silent. It's now that you come to realize that he isn't wearing the mask, instead lies on the room floor, discarded. "Was looking for you in your room but-"

"Say it." He barks, turning around and stalking towards you. His presence alone making you feel smaller. His brows are knitted, jaw clenched so hard you're sure he'll break his teeth. Simon is massive. Yet, despite all of this you know he'd never lay a finger on you, nor hurt you. "Fucking start talking, kid." The hurt in his voice is palpable. You fumble with your hands, it's getting harder to keep your eyes on his. You do not deserve his love at all. "Because I've been losing my mind ever since you shut me out."

A soft wail escapes your lips, you try to muffle it. Simon hesitates for a second. Wanting nothing more than to hold you in his arms, he awaits.

"I... I- got pregnant." You cried. "And you've always known I never wanted that. I panicked and didn't say a word because it would be more painful or...-" you swallow through incessant tears. "Or so I thought. I decided to get rid of it, Simon. But seeing what's done to us. What I've done... I'm so fucking sorry I don't deserve-"

Suddenly you're engulfed by strong arms and a broad chest as you finally let go and cry rivers of pain and regret. He's murmuring sweet things in your ear that you can't understand die to your deteriorating situation.

"It's okay. It's okay, love. Fucking hell, should've come to me." He growled. "Don't you ever do this to me again, kid. You didn't have to do it alone. Christ."

There's a soft kiss on the top of your head as your cries start to die down and all there's left are soft whimpers.

"I never meant to leave you, but I couldn't be close to you after what I did behind your back." You sniff.

The ever gentle caressing of his thumb on your back never ceases, providing the comfort you so desperately seek.

"S'alright, love. Nothing to be sorry about." He takes a step back keeping you at arms length. "There she is." A little broken but starting to be pieced back together. He gently wipes your cheeks and breathes deep. "I'm here. Always."

[thedivineart]

PICK A CARD: FACTS AND SECRETS OF YOUR GREATEST LOVE.

⠀⠀⠀꒰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⌷ .⠀⠀d i s c l a i m e r⠀⠀✿𝆬

[ 𝒜𝓇𝓉 ✧ ] any events and other things in your life are cannot be accurately predict by me and the tarot cards, do take a note that we are 'still' the creator of our 'future'- what you 'do' now will be the outcome of your future life and this could be either a good or bad, if your doing good and you are good to others expect the bright future ahead but in reverse you might expect the worst.

[ ℰ𝓂𝒾𝓈 ✧ ] to pick a pile, firstly take a good deep breath, second focus on every pile in the photo provided below { pile one, pile two, pile three }, and lastly scroll more down to reveal your reading. if you cannot still pick up any of the pile, do remember the sequence of what is written in the first sentence.

ꕀ ׅ࣪ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ 𝓅𝒾𝒸𝓀 𝒶 𝒸𝒶𝓇𝒹 ; facts and secrets of your ᵍʳᵉᵃᵗᵉˢᵗ ˡᵒᵛᵉ

[ 𝒜𝓇𝓉ℯ𝓂𝒾𝓈 ✧ ] grammatical errors ahead, if you're a perfectionist then leave this pac. I do write with so many flaws and I know it's not perfect since my first language isn't english.

-` 𝑇𝐻𝐸𝐷𝐼𝑉𝐼𝑁𝐸𝐴𝑅𝑇 ´- ✰︵ — m a s t e r l i s t ´-

: ･. ﾟ ✧. : ･. ☽˚｡ ･ﾟ ✧: ･. :.

PILE ONE

seems that they likes socialising, sort of life of the party individual and may possibly that they got alot of friends since they value friendships however there's something happened between them and a friend ( probably group of friends ) which lead your person to feel victimize and got anxiety. either this called friend is hating/sabotaging them or bullying them, idk but this one 'friend' and your person isn't in good terms, definitely fear this 'friend' too. hmm, I feel that there's something fishing involve here, I think your person and this 'friend' have something before, like they tried to be in relationship before but actually failed to become stable. this person of yours may/already feel heartbreak and betrayal in their timeframe, even though they got friends they still feel need someone to fill their loneliness. on the other side, they literally got it all and might come from wealthy or wealthy by themselves (if they are a 'man'), high status in life and often in leadership position like in company being it's c.e.o or the boss where they work, actually they got multiple options and choices about their life, like they can get what they like unlike the others. however they tends to daydream and imagine often. also likes luxurious things or materialistic individual they are, they care about the money alot and good at handling it, they literally hate it when someone is late when there's a sched and call time when it be happen, but they are slow to be anger. when you see this person physically and in reality, you'll be having the thought of "they looks tough and cold individual" when it quite faraway from it, they know how to hide their innocence and vulnerability inside by hiding it on their appearance. one thing that keeps me interested with this individual, they willing to give it all if they love someone that's why often they end up feels of being disappointed and just hurting themselves but they know how to heal themselves too. knife and skull symbol might be prominent for this person maybe a tattoo or they like those symbols.

- dm me for personal readings

PILE TWO

tw: die, kill

soulmates connection here.there's two scenario here, first -they know within themselves that they are defensive being but of course they don't wouldn't tell it, if they found themselves in that situation they tends to walk away and leave that situation or where they are now, they want to leave and scape to that place but they don't know how, all they can do now is to be patient most of the time. and might be conservative in everything. they also know how to manifest specially to their desires, they believe that action and willingness with manifestation will lead you to a prosperous and secure life, at some point they prefer to work alone like being self employed. might be ailurophiles, they love cats. seems that they are more confident, if they achieve something or if someone is supporting them. they like to offer for people alot whether it's time, money or support from them. negative sides might be forgetful and hot tempered, idk if they are famous since they have alot of supporters maybe quite well known where field or place they are. they do believe success comes from hard work and overcoming obstacles, love how optimistic they are. finally a secret was channeled here, they may don't seem one as physically but they are very sensual individual who knows how to hide it. they do care about the animals specially if this is a cat and the humanity. you can easily may know their true identity by how they act in front of you. for some point, some people here may already know this person or will gonna know this individual this year. dang bruh, I'm shock to this message but this person having thoughts of wanting to die, they want to commit this sin or their anxiety is getting worst day after day, they want to tell it to someone but this person thinks that ' will they understand them even though they will tell it to someone'. s/he got the reason for it, the story behind of why they want to do it but might be afraid that no one will understand them. just a reminder that be observant to people who surround you, look how they behave and think before you outburst words coming from your mouth cause we don't know who suffer, this type of mental illness can kill, no kidding around.

- dm me for personal readings

PILE THREE

this person got powerful aura than the rest of the piles and somewhat seems that this pile is the combination of 1 and 2. they come from a wealthy/stable family/high status or inheritance from old people around their family, that's the reason why they don't suffer much when in comes to finances, this money may came from a masculine energy more likely the father or their grandpa. mostly who pick this pile, your person is more mature in appearance or by mentally or by age. might be working on authority level like the boss or in government and law or higher positions like manager, being team leader etc. for some people who pick this pile, I see that they still studying like maybe in higher grade than yours or simply this person loves to learn and very determine as well dedicated to what they are studying. however they may have fear that someone is more better than them, or they experience anxiety or deep unhappiness which causes to got some sleep paralysis/negativity. on the other hand, I'm seeing that they will overcome this one his/her obstacles. they tends to act hasty or bad mouthing and expressing how bitter they are in life maybe because of what they just experience, or they been/will face betrayal in life. they got big social cycle, alot of people know them and they know alot of people too, possibly that they are famous in their surrounding, however your person really knows who are the true and enemy to them or your person may feels that every people around them are not true and just want them for the money and fame specially if those individuals are his/her friends. they been wishing for healing from what people did to them for a very long period of time, they got solution and want to fly away to rest and ease this pain within themselves. they want some joy in their life and was eager for seeking it. as a addition, I see here that this person got some eagle eye or great observation, like they see it but other people wouldn't. everyone seems to respect this person and they know it, they know they are someone who should be respected too ( seems overbearing for me ). when they talk they are too honest to their words and doesn't care if the someone may feel hurt from it or spilling tea is one of their habit/mannerism. one more thing, they think people around them are ugly ( lol, that's bad ) like they based on physical appearance but of course they will keep it by themselves however if you focus on their eyes you can see the judging looking.

- dm me for personal readings

[ 🤎. ] Hello! Thank You so much for checking out this pac reading, if you ever like it please do follow and reblog for more pac. Let me know what you feel by commenting down below...

© thedivineart — do not plagiarize any of my work, translate or repost it on other social media platform , do remember that this is only my official account where all my pac are posted, if you ever see something like mine from word by word kindly report it to me, thank you<3. theme is included

[ihatedtoadmit]

The Windows To My Soul [3]

pairing: OT8 x fem! reader

genre: soulmates, angst, fluff, crack

warnings: Please read the 'Summary' of this series, all are listed there!

word count: ~2.8k

summary: Everything is starting to escalate in a way you start questioning if you haven't just fallen into a fanfiction somehow, or maybe the kidnapper had just gotten you and this is all a weird dream.

↳ Masterlist ↳ Next chapter ↳ Previous chapter

All rights reserved. Please do not steal, repost or feed my work into AI. Thank you!

I couldn't help but lightly rub at the aching area, playing it off as me fixing my tight turtleneck that suddenly felt a bit too suffocating.

Or so I thought I played it off, right until I saw Minho talk to Chan, the latter now worriedly glancing at my direction and walking towards me. I furrowed my eyebrows as I just watched him, a bit bothered that I understood no fucking word of their conversation still.

"Before we get comfortable and start chit-chatting, we should treat your wounds, Eevee. Where did ya hurt yourself?" - he asked, suddenly kneeling in front of my taken aback form.

I furrowed my eyebrows even harder, because I didn't really feel any pain besides my chest and ever worsening headache. And knowing my body, the former was simply bruised, thanks to my overly sensitive skin.

"You fell pretty hard ya know, there's no way you didn't get hurt from that. Now, show it, before it gets worse, please." - he voiced his concerns, as if sensing my immense confusion.

I looked at my palms instinctually, having landed on them and sure enough, they were scraped and even slightly bleeding. Lightly feeling up my arms for any other injuries -because i couldn't see them from my clothing-, I recoiled when I’d pressed onto my left elbow. I most probably landed on that amidst the harsh fight for my life, so I wasn't truly surprised.

"Can ya roll up your sleeves at all?" - he asked, but I could only shake my head, much to his disappointment.

He dragged a hand across his face and sighed, before meeting my gaze once again.

"You'll have to take it off then."

His tone was as sorry as it could get, but that didn't help my widening eyes and the surprised, strangled sounds that kept dying in my throat before successfully escaping.

"J-just to assess your wounds, I swear! Nothing more!"

The others were snickering at our expense.

Friendship was truly wonderful.

But then I realised something.

"I… don't have any other clothes with me…"

He muttered something under his breath that I couldn't quite catch, his eyes seizing up my form and then his bandmates'. He talked to Hyunjin for a bit, the blackett standing up and disappearing down the hall. Not even a minute later he’d returned, a baggy hoodie in his arms, stretched out towards me as if it was an offering.

I confusedly pointed to myself, but he airily chuckled and nodded, offering the piece of clothing to me once more. I took it hesitantly, thanking him and looking back at Chan for further instructions or any form of much needed guidance.

Thankfully, he knew what I wanted and told me where the bathroom was, even pointing in its direction. It was right across the room, the first door on the hallway. I retreated there with the provided hoodie -it was a nice shade of red-, my mind going into overdrive.

Oh god, I was about to wear an idol's hoodie.

What in the wattpad fanfiction was this??

I exhaled, the air coming out shaky and uncertain. I tucked my necklace under my turtleneck and pulled the fabric over my head, nearly unsuccessful in my struggle, although in the end I ended up wrestling it off of my form, thankfully. It was always a harsh battle of survival, one that I’d almost lost way too many times.

After my eventual success, I put down the dark clothing next to the sink, only seeing that as a big enough place to hold the fabric. Before I could grab the hoodie I’d been offered, my eyes noticed my reflection in the mirror and I muttered a few lines of curses under my breath. All in my native tongue, because that language had spicy curse words.

My whole left elbow was purple, a few spots turning almost black. The bruise continued down to my lower arm as well, but in a lighter shade, thankfully. Experimenting and prodding around lightly, nothing seemed broken or out of place. Just really, really heavily bruised.

I couldn't let them see this, they would think I was dying and start panicking, fuck.

I knew my body and thus I knew I was fine, I just bruised way too easily. Grip me hard enough and I would sport a dark bruise there the next day. Normal people weren't like that, but I didn't mind, shrugging off the random bruises I kept finding on my body regularly.

It was all fine, up until that point, that is.

Quickly scanning the rest of my upper body in the mirror, I found no other injuries, which made me let out a big sigh of relief. But… if my ribs weren't bruised, why did my chest hurt? My heart was fine, besides the slightly higher pulse. But that was okay, I was nervous in the presence of goddamn idols I looked up to!

The entire situation confused me, but I knew if I took any longer, they would start worrying and come find me, if not already. So I quickly pulled on the hoodie after fixing my mask, its form engulfing me like a blanket. The arms weren't short either, which was a nice surprise, seeing as I was just a tad bit taller than Hyunjin. His broader shoulders must have balanced it all out.

Smiling, I took my turtleneck and quickly left the bathroom, making a beeline for my bag that I’d left near the front door. After swiftly stuffing the clothing in there -a hard battle-, I hurriedly strode towards the chatting boys, gathering their attention.

"Yah, you look cute in Hyung's hoodie!" - Jisung chirped in, sounds of agreement quick to follow. "N-no, you must be seeing things wrong, very wrong, but thank you for letting me borrow it. It's really comfy." - I waved my arms in defence, embarrassed as their expressions merely turned even more teasing at that, weird enough. "Nah, they're right, but come sit back here so I can look at your arms now."

At the voice of Chan, I immediately did as I was told, not wishing to inconvenience or anger him. He gently started rolling up the right arm of the hoodie, slightly grimacing at the sight of my scraped palms. He pulled out some cotton swabs and disinfectant, warning me that it would sting. I silently nodded, knowing fully well it would, but I didn't mind. It didn't hurt that bad anyway.

After cleaning it out, he started rolling up the hoodie's other sleeve. When he first saw the lighter bruising on my lower arm, his eyebrows furrowed, but the more he saw, the more his eyes widened and his complexion paled.

"Jesus christ, we need to ice this right now. Don't move." - he said with a clear voice, the others watching in horror as they had a full view of my arm now.

"Holy shit Eevee, why didn't you say something earlier?!" - Felix shouted in english, worry dripping from every word. "It didn't hurt, okay?? I'm sorry, I didn't feel it! But it's fine, nothing's broken, I just have sensitive skin. Believe me, please." - I pleaded with him, with them, trying to calm their worries uselessly.

Before I could utter another word, Chan was back, a big ice pack and a cloth in his hands. He instructed me to straighten my arm and I did so, his hands swiftly attaching the ice pack to my arm with the long piece of fabric.

"Is it not too tight?" - he asked and I shook my head in reply.

A sigh left his lips as he looked up at me, and I couldn't help but protest, trying to salvage what I could of the chaotic situation.

"I really do have sensitive skin! I already checked in the bathroom, I could move my arm just fine and nothing felt out of place. My bones are fine, trust me." "I still want to have a doctor look at you though. That should have been our first action, but I wanted to take ya away from there as fast as possible, with the way you were shaken up." "No." "Wh– What do you mean naur?? Eevee, it's your health on the line!" "Tomorrow then… I don't think I could handle anything more today."

His eyes were adamantly looking at mine, a gaze of steel. But eventually, he relented with a sigh.

"Fine, but first thing in the morning we go to a doctor. Only because your arm felt fine, and I trust you did NOT lie about that, yea? Now, bow your head down a bit, lemme check it."

I was surprised he let up so easily, but I could see the exhaustion creeping up on him and I didn't dare not follow his words, as weird as it all felt.

He stood up and leaned down to gently card his fingers through my hair, stopping only after he was satisfied when he didn't find anything.

I tried not to think about it.

Truly, I tried not to.

"Great, now…" - he straightened up and trailed off as I looked up at him.

Following his line of sight, I found myself staring right at my legs.

"I was hoping you would forget about that." - I muttered, glaring at the ground in defiance.

Because of course my knees would be hurt and bruised too, I’d fallen on them as well. But I didn't exactly have a goddamn change of pants on me, to change out of these tight jeans into, now did I?

"No, nono, shh, how about we untie my left arm until I go and check my legs for any injuries? I can't fucking ask you guys for pants too, I just can't. Please?" - I pleaded with him, only seeing him nod with slightly red ears as he untied my arm and I hurried out of the room.

The others were snickering and I could NOT face them. No way in hell. I knew how big of a tease they were, and only at that moment was I happy that I didn't understand any korean at all.

Because Jisung howling along with Hyunjin could only be bad news.

I hurriedly closed the bathroom door and did as I suggested earlier, finding only a few spots of lighter bruises on my knees. They weren't scraped, I could bend them just fine, so I’d quickly put my pants back on and left the room.

Thankfully they were done with the teasing, but I still saw the aftermath of it.

A really flustered Bang Chan.

He was tugging at his ear when he saw me, beckoning me over even as he tried to not meet my eyes as much.

What the fuck did they say to him?

I raised an eyebrow at the others, giving them a slight side-eye, when Felix erupted in a shout of 'BOMBASTIC. SIDE. EYE.' and they started howling with laughter again.

"How are you still sane with them?" - I couldn't help but ask Chan, turning back towards him. "Honestly, I'm not sure anymore." - he sighed, but you could see the adoration for them in his eyes.

Truly, a father of 7 kids.

"Anyway, any other injuries?" - he asked, tying the ice pack to my left arm once more. "Just some light bruising on the knees, I'll survive. Thank you so much."

He waved me off and sat back down into his seat with an exhausted huff, watching over the chaos. But as a fan, I could tell that they weren't at their full potential. Either from exhaustion or something else, I couldn't tell.

They were still at the side eye meme, what did they smoke, I wanted to know.

Jeongin met my gaze and stood up, walking over towards me and sitting down right next to my very puzzled form. I watched him, confused, not knowing what he would want from me.

"You like pokemon?"

Aaah, that made sense. His accent was cute as he was trying to speak in english, my mouth curving up slightly as a result. I nodded back at him, immediately getting the question of what my favourite pokemon was.

"Hmm, that's a hard one. Maybe Mimikyu or Dratini? They're so cute. But I never really played any pokemon games, so my knowledge on them is a bit rusty."

He gaped at me as I heard several offended gasps around the room, apparently gaining the attention of everyone with that one, deadly sentence.

"What do you mean you haven't? What did you grow up on then??" - Felix asked, hopping next to me on my other side. "...Spyro the purple dragon?" "Okay, you are forgiven."

I couldn't help but laugh at him, how his arms were crossed as he nodded approvingly, as if he was an approving parent.

A little tap on my shoulder gained my attention, Jeongin pointing at me and my headphones. I didn't even notice I still had them on, I must have put them back around my neck instinctually having been done with changing clothes, the device’s weight comforting.

"And you like music?"

Ooohh shit, I was hoping we wouldn't go into this territory. The guilt from earlier reared its ugly head up full-force now, but I nodded at his question nevertheless, already knowing what their next question would be.

"What kind do you listen to?"

I almost gave the gut response of 'Stray Kids', because that was what I had been listening to actively for the past years. But I stopped myself in time, looking at him with a blank stare.

"Uuuh, lots, like j-rock, fantasy music, soft rock, anime music–" "YOU WATCH ANIME?!" - Jisung had nearly fallen out of his seat, eyes locked onto my surprised form with a big grin.

Taken aback, I leaned a bit back as I nodded, accidentally bumping into Jeongin. I apologised, but he didn't mind as he steadied me, leaving a hand on my shoulder even after I’d righted myself.

"Sorry, sorry, but what kind? Which ones? What's your favourite? Do you also watch Ghibli? Which movie is your favourite?"

And the conversation derailed into the topic of anime, mainly powered by the quokka and sometimes me, if we were talking about a particularly dear anime to my heart. The others added in their parts too, after all, Jisung was not the only weeb in the group. Just the biggest.

But after god knew how long, I’d gotten a question I never wanted to get.

"Did you come here to get some anime merch? I have some great shop recommendations, if so!"

I blinked, my mind coming to a halt.

Suddenly, I was hyper aware of who I was talking with, who were sitting in the same room as me, sitting next to me. I knew who they were, their ages, what they liked and disliked, hell, even who had what kind of pet. But they didn't know that.

It felt like I was committing a crime, lying to them. Even though they saved me and helped me so much.

The air had gotten stuck in my throat, no amount of gulping unlodging it from its resting place. Everything felt hot, as if I was suffocated from the weight of my sins.

I couldn't do it anymore.

"I-... I actually came for a concert. I apologise for not telling the whole truth before, I swear I didn't do it with bad intentions. I'm a STAY, I know who you all are, I love listening to your songs, and my reason for visiting Japan was for your concert. You can hate me for lying, be angry at me or anything else, I just didn't want any of you to feel pressured to act like an idol in your resting time. You can take my phone away, check for any photos, videos, I don't care, I swear I didn't take any. I'm so sorry for not telling you sooner, I really didn't mean anything bad!"

I was definitely rambling halfway through, my thoughts jumbled and overlapping. It was a miracle I didn't switch languages through all that, even as the speed of my talking increased to a dangerously high degree.

I simply sat there, rigid, my knuckles turning white from how tight I was closing my fists together. I didn't dare look at them, the ground much more interesting as I tried my best not to cry or pass out from the lack of air. Maybe I could miraculously suck my tears back in if I tried hard enough, so I wouldn't sit there with glossy eyes.

Next chapter

[bonny-kookoo]

Yoongi

𝓣𝓪𝓴𝓮 𝓒𝓪𝓻𝓮. | Homesick

He's not sure what's worse- the fact that he now knows what's wrong, or the fact that he now knows he can't do anything to help you.

Tags/Warnings: Spin off, Doctor!Yoongi, Cat Hybrid!Reader, mentions of hospitals, Mentions of a coma, major angst, slight fluff?, a lot of hurt, it's your daily dose of angst you masochists

Length: Drabble

There is no taglist for this fic

-> Masterlist

⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅

There's not much Yoongi truly regrets. After all, he's a firm believer that even the bad things in life happen for a reason- it's all somewhat connected. It all leads you to the next step in life.

But if that's the case, then why did the world gift him you, just to have you taken away like this?

He knows it's only a matter of time until your body gives up. It's already happening, after all- your breathing has become less regulated, blood pressure steadily declining. He knows it's unrealistic to think that you'll forever stay in this state. You won't.

Even if you wake up now, you won't be the same. You'll probably have to fight the aftereffects and impact on your brain for months if not years. And that's a very optimistic prognosis.

The more realistic one would be to assume that you'll be a case of permanent full on care. If you ever wake up.

He dreads the question soon to be asked. What does he want to do?

Can he let you go?

In times like these, when being at home makes him homesick to the point of nausea, he tends to visit you, no matter how late. It's how he finds himself at your bedside again, steady tune of your bpm monitor reassuring him that for now, you're still here.

No matter how much of you.

Watching you sleep like this makes it hard to really comprehend that there's not much to do here at all. There's nothing he can do to help you recover because, at the end of the day, the diagnosis is still being studied.

He can't help. He can only hope.

Holding your hand has begun to feel odd now. Like a tune not played quite right, it feels off to just cling to your body like this, when your soul might've very well already left you long ago. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do.." he mumbles to himself, mostly.

Or maybe he's just at the end of his hope.

Maybe he's the one losing this battle now.

"I know I have to let you go, but I don't want to." He shakes his head. "I didn't even get to experience anything with you." He sighs to himself. "Fuck.." the doctor wipes his face with his free hand.

He sighs again, and gets up to leave-

But your fingers cling to his own, holding a lot more tightly than usual. Maybe a simple muscle memory response- nothing to be excited about. He's learned to keep those feelings in check by now, after having been disappointed time and time again.

So he gently pulls your fingers away from his hand.

And you.. whine?

Your bpm is rising a little, machine complaining with a chime about the change in tempo, and he looks at you a bit more focused, noticing the way your breathing doesn't seem as calm as it usually is.

"No, you're not-!" He curses, turning the lights of the room back on. "You're not fucking taking her from me yet-!" He argues to no one.

When your fingers wrap around his wrist where his hand is pushing down on the hospital bed to gain better leverage to look at your monitor.

"No way.." he breathes out, leaning closer to you as he watches the tears run down your cheeks. It's not new that you're able to cry- you've randomly done that in the past, but during post comatose wakefulness, that's not unusual.

But he hopes. He wants to hope.

"Do you want me to stay?" He asks. "Is that it? Come on, you know how it works, give me an answer-" he begs in a whispered tone,

But nothing happens.

"God dammit what am I supposed to do?!" He breaks down, falling back into the chair next to your bed, finally breaking as he cries into the sheets.

And your hand is suddenly moving around again, as if searching for something, before it settles in his hair, on his head.

And as he lifts it to look at you, your eyes are open. But not just open- because that's what they've done for weeks now, time and time again, hurting him with every empty gaze.

Because this time, albeit a bit tearful-

They're not just open.

They're looking at him.

You're looking at him.

You're back.

⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅

[xxchthonicreaturexx]

I've got another request but I just love your writing sm. How do you think the boys (Curtis gang + Shepards) would act during and after an argument (like would they be cold to their s/o, would they be clingy, how long does it take to make up etc). I'm honestly such a sucker for angst like it's not even funny💀. Sorry, this is kinda a long one.

-🤍🤍

You're adorable :) <3 thank you for being patient.

Tim Shepard

Tim doesn't yell unless absolutely necessary. If you're the type to raise your voice and not listen to a thing he's saying, he'll probably yell a few times, but he easily will out yell you. It's quick and it's scary. He has that scary parent voice like Darry-

He's usually a quiet type of angry with a partner. A snide, backhanded comment here and there followed by the silent treatment until you're begging like a puppy for forgiveness. Or if he realizes he's being too harsh and he gives in first but usually it's the latter.

Fights can last up to a week depending on what it was. Usually it's only a few days before it's resolved, but if you're the stubborn type then sadly he can also hold a grudge. He'll never let it go past a week though. After y'all have time to cool off he decides it's time for y'all to act like grownups and talk it out calmly. Nothing really changes after the fight though. He's still Tim. He's still an asshole. 🤷

Curly Shepard

Motherfucking Curly Shepard can kiss my ass. I love Curly with a passion...BUT he can get slightly petty. When's he's upset with you, you'll know. Trust me. He's a fighter, and can be violent, but with his partner he'll channel his pissed offery in other... More annoying ways.

Oh, you need your morning coffee? Sorry babe, he just drank the last of it and the fucker doesn't even like coffee. 🤷

Oh, you're missing your work shirt? He "accidentally" spilled water on it so you can either go to work without your uniform or wear it wet.

Oh, you wanna makeout and watch a movie? Sorry, he's already getting ready to go hang out with friends even though you guys specifically planned to hang out that day.

He's a little shit but eventually it'll get so ridiculous you can't help but laugh and that's kinda how you guys makeup? 🤷

Darry Curtis

I mean- how the hell do you think that'd play out? He's a yeller. He pulls a loud disappointment card and talks with his hands a lot. If he's too mad he'll yell from a different room because he's scared he'll push you or something like what he does Pony. He really doesn't want to hurt or scare you, so he puts distance in between y'all.

And I swear, if you FOLLOW him while he's trying to put space in-between you, you just might get pinned into a corner. Not that Darry would ever lay his hands on you but the second he sees your scared expression, he's a mess. The yellings out the window and he almost looks like a kicked puppy.

I'd like to say that fights actually happen frequent with Darry but they're usually over things like your or the boys' safety and stuff like that. Doesn't matter if you're his kid brother, one of the other Greasers, or his spouse, he's overprotective. If he likes you even a tiny bit he's protective as hell. However, Darry is usually the type to apologize with a lame offer of a date or alone time within 24 hours.

Sodapop Curtis

Another silent type. This little shit will be kinda immature when it comes to the silent treatment. "Oh, Steve? Did you hear someone saying something to me? I could've sworn an annoying little voice was talking to me."

Yeah he pulls that shit. Kick him him in the shins and run away and he'll chase you. Honestly might end up with y'all play fighting despite him trying to be mad. He just can't keep it for long 🤷 unless it's serious that is.

If it's serious, I could see him raising his voice for a second, but never super loud. He'll do it to get his point across and then he'll want space. He might secretly cry if it's something bad, but Pony's got him, don't worry. Nothing a late night talk won't fix. Soda will probably phone you within a day or two and ask if you guys can take a walk and CALMLY talk things out.

Ponyboy Curtis

He's such a freaking whiner bro :/ y'all probably fight all the time with how whiney he is about shit. I like Pony, don't get me wrong, but Pony can be kinda sensitive. Don't even lie.

He's a sarcastic little shit that will make comments and pout whenever he's upset with you. Visibly less playful and acts around you how he does Darry most times. Sometimes if you guys start to actually argue though, he'll actually run away. He'S a TrAcK sTaR-

Trust me, just give him an hour or two. If he's out longer than that, check the lot. 🤷 Probably got lost writing a little sob story or reading a book. Also the type to write you apology letters though in a form of a poem. The poems are sweet I guess but kinda cringey when he's all awkward about it lmfao.

Johnny Cade

Probably guessed it but he hates fighting. He'll avoid it the best he can but it's unavoidable sometimes. You yell and he'll shut down. Come back and talk to him when you've cooled off. He refuses to be yelled at, reminds him too much of home, but he also refuses to yell at you.

I could also see Johnny giving you semi-playful pinches. You guys are talking about something and you're getting worked up and you're starting to raise your volume? Pinch. You're ignoring him because you're pissed off? Pinch. You guys made up and he's feeling a little cheeky when you guys hug it out? Pinch.

Fights never last long. He doesn't let you guys go to bed angry like his parents. He'll give you time to cool off, of course, but not angry.

"I know we're fighting right now, but I just want to remind you that I still love you, ya dig?"

Dallas Winston

Honestly, despite him being an asshole that deserves a majority of the fights thrown at him, he's a strong believer in not going to bed angry when he really likes someone.

"Oh come on, don't be like that!"

Cue the dramatic eye roll as you slam the door. A few cigarettes later and you guys are sitting side by side on the porch of Buck's place. Or yours, depends where y'all are.

It's quiet, he's just taking drags off his cigarette and suddenly his jacket is around your shoulders.

"I like ya, doll. We can talk about it in the morning if you want to cool off, but come to bed and we'll cuddle or something, capiche?" Usually you have to initiate cuddles, so the fact he's even mentioning it first is a total win for you. You're weird if you don't take the offer.

I could also see him allowing you to hit him if you're angry too. He's low-key a masochist so 🤷🤷🤷

Steve Randle

He's kinda dumb, fights are probably started because he did something dumb and didn't realize. Or he said something kinda insensitive without thinking. He won't even know that you're mad unless you tell him and then he kinda gets defensive? "Don't be so sensitive."

Go on, you can hit him, I don't mind. He'll probably glare at you, use that stupid mocking voice under his breath. Kinda childish? I also see him as the type that would avoid his partner once they get into a fight. Kinda scared of them and doesn't want to have to deal with the negative emotions, you know? He might run away a few times but he'll eventually come back. Threaten him. It works. Tell him if he doesn't call you back within 24 hours you're done and he'll be on the phone within 5 minutes.

He really does care, he's just not the best with lover quarrels. Probably one of the worst here because if you don't say anything this dude can go up to like two whole ass weeks avoiding you. It gets a little ridiculous. Once y'all make up though he's definitely more careful with his words for a while. Compliments you a lot more.

Twobit Matthews

Honestly? He laughs it off. You do most of the yelling. He'll make sarcastic little comebacks. Definitely the type to make petty comments whether it be bringing up your faults when you're ripping on him or trying to gaslight you into believing you're overreacting. He just doesn't want to deal with it. Let him have fun, you know? He just doesn't get that he can't be that way 24/7, especially now that he's in a stable relationship.

Fights don't usually last long. Few days tops as he's not one to hold a grudge. He might even forget you guys are fighting lmfao on the occasion that he didn't forget and he just misses you, he'll probably just say a quick sorry and go back to pretending it never happened.

Definitely the type to half-ass apologize even though he doesn't think it's his fault. He's just kinda a people pleaser? If his sweetheart is mad at him and he's cooled off, he's like a kicked puppy.

[sarnai4]

The Underworld

I cannot even express how excited I was to listen to the Underworld Saga. It did not disappoint at all (of course, I wanted more songs, but the trio was amazing). Spoilers ahead for Epic the Musical.

"The Underworld" was an amazing setup for what we had coming. There are just so many tiny details! There are callbacks with "Full speed ahead," "Open Arms," and of course, we also have the "Ruthlessness" callbacks with the army. That would be so horrifying. He's surrounded by the 500+ soldiers who relied on him and trusted him to bring them back home. He even stated back in the Ocean saga how he didn't lose a single soul in the war. It's when they leave that everyone starts dying. Then, we have the heart-breaking Polites cameo, reminding Odysseus of how he cost his best friend his life. Now, the part that got me a little choked up was when his mom showed up. I have read even the story, so I know that she's gone, but it hurt so much to hear him realize he'd been at war so long that he never got to see her alive again. Him saying "Bye, Mom," just tears my heart strings right out. I love the contrast too of the quiet sadness in his voice with this line, then immediately yelling "All I hear are screams!" There's so much rage and pain as he's forced to confront everything that's kept him away from his family--including those he'll never be reunited with in life.

Then, we have "No Longer You." When I say the snippet did not do this song justice...(sighs dreamily). I still enjoyed the snippet, but this is probably my favorite of the bunch to listen to. The melody, the vocals, it's all just so beautiful. The tune just seems to float like you could do a ballroom dance with someone. That's not to say that the lines aren't great too. I love how this one plays on Odysseus's fears and how his increased time away from home has jaded him. The prophet basically says, "I see you with your wife, but you're messed up from your time away" and our Ithaca king is just pissed that he saw someone with his wife. Uh, buddy...well, I guess you'll find out soon enough. It's also so fun to know the story and get reminded of what Odysseus will be doing when he returns to Ithaca, fighting subjects who just assumed he had died and don't have respect for anyone in his family now. Even this entire concept to me in fascinating since it considers an underlying theme of the play: how people change due to their experiences. Odysseus will return, but it'll never be the same Odysseus who left in the first place.

And we end with "Monster" which is such an awesome ending to a first act. I wish this was live, so the audience could erupt in applause. (Small detail, but I love the music at the beginning. It's so unique when compared to the other songs and is pretty cool, gradually growing when more instruments are added). A bigger detail is that you have the instrumental intro matching the intro for "The Horse and the Infant." It just shows how far they've come and calls back to the very first time Odysseus was responsible for a lost life in the musical. My favorite line in this song is "I'm the only one whose line I haven't crossed." That's saying something too because this song is full of amazing lines. I just love the implication since we know Odysseus has often had lines he thought were too far. He didn't want to kill the baby, chose to spare Polyphemus, didn't kill Circe when he won in the fight, etc. Still, as he finally admits in this song, he did kill the baby. Despite that, he hasn't crossed his line. Why? I think it's because he keeps pushing it back each time he's confronted with something he doesn't want to do but feels he has to. It ties into the end of this song where he considers everyone he's lost, fully understanding the scope of it now that he's seen the spirits of his loved ones. Turning into someone he never wanted to be doesn't matter anymore. If he's a monster who still has a living family and hasn't proven the faith people had in him was foolish, then it's fine. He might have even been a monster before by not going against their enemies with everything he had. It's all a matter of perspective. Was he a monster for killing the baby, one for causing so many in his fleet to never return to their families, or one for both of those choices? The ending going back to "The Horse and the Infant" with him calling out for Penelope and Telemachus AND pairing that with the repeat of "Ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves" is marvelous. It's almost like it's in the same sentence where he's explaining his actions to them, telling them that he has to become a monster because it'll make things alright for everyone they hold dear.

The only thing that made me mad about this is that I have no clue when the next saga is coming out or what it's even called. So, I'll just be playing the songs on repeat until I can add however many more to the playlist.