#knowing that you cannot force someone to see your ideal world view - on either side for both dazai and fyodor

[ninkaku]

a lot of people don’t get why dazai seemed “gloomy” in this scene because “he killed the person he wanted to kill” and i think from my perspective anyway, it comes down to the fact that although dazai is most likely “sad” about having killed (so he thought) maybe the only other person thus far that has truly understood him, he is also a) aware of himself as a potential danger already, and in killing fyodor this solidifies that people like themselves are always going to be dangerous no matter how much “good” they think they can accomplish because their ways of thinking and their lack of emotional input into the world separates them from average people every time and b) even being that nikolai wanted to kill fyodor, dazai is watching someone mourn in a mirror almost of the way he mourned his own friend and the person who gave him purpose for living. nikolai says as much himself that fyodor, and later the idea of killing fyodor, fuelled his purpose for living to discover true freedom, which i think mirrors dazai’s view of himself in the mafia but also how odasaku granted dazai his freedom in telling him how he should try to live his life. dazai as character grows a lot in terms of how he views death and grief, especially when talking to atsushi about the orphanage director, saying “people usually cry when their father’s die” meaning that no matter how confusing it is for atsushi to be sad that the man who made his life a living misery is dead, it’s okay for him to feel this way. dazai is just very reassuring of allowing people to digest emotion in whatever way they choose without having something smart to say about it. it’s not exactly empathy, but just a simple recognition that such devastating emotion is sometimes incredibly difficult to reconcile and experience in a way that most “normal” people would

[attemptsonherlifepdf]

fantastic mr fox: humanising animals, animalising men, and an exploration of masculine identity

‘this story is too predictable.’ / ‘predictable? really? what happens in the end?’ / ‘in the end, we all die. unless you change.’

mr fox, the titular character of wes anderson’s 2009 stop-motion adaptation of roald dahl’s children’s book, is a portrait of two conflicting manifestations of masculinity. he is built to demonstrate the crossover between tradition and modernity, between wild and civilised. characterised as a charming gentleman, almost renowned for his recklessness, mr fox combines his undomesticated instincts with a carefully crafted domestic life. he appears to spend more time manufacturing a perfect home and family than he does actually participating in it. the events of the movie serve to strip away his facade and present both the audience and protagonist with a harsh reality to deal with: the juxtaposing aspects of his identity that he must contend with in order to survive his situation. these aspects are demonstrated through the use of anthropomorphic animals. in essence, the text attempts to convey the message that while you can associate your actions with animal or human traits in order to characterise and frame them, you cannot change their value and their consequences. it serves as a critique of how the nature of male identity is exploited to shunt responsibility, and the movie specifically promotes a more collectivist mentality.

there are four key scenes that mark mr fox’s journey in terms of his identity. initially, we first see his identity openly questioned once he has moved into a new home (a large and expensive tree), just prior to him revealing his ‘master plan’ to kylie, who becomes his assistant of sorts. he asks, ‘why a fox? why not a horse, or a beetle, or a bald eagle? i’m saying this more as, like, existentialism, you know? who am i? and how can a fox ever be happy without, you’ll forgive the expression, a chicken in its teeth?’ he attributes his identity with the ability to fulfil his base desires, like he could in his youth. aspects of his later life such as employment, family, and safety restrict his ability and leaves him feeling untethered from himself. the movie opens with his youthful vibrance and recklessness, and is quickly contrasted with his dissatisfaction with his job, home, and life in general.

MR FOX

i dont want to live in a hole anymore. it makes me feel poor.

MRS FOX

we are poor, but we’re happy.

MR FOX

comme ci, come ca...

does anyone actually read my column?

having been moved out of the hole and into an expensive tree, mrs fox asks her husband:

MRS FOX

do you still feel poor?

MR FOX

less so.

constructing the ideal domestic space for himself and his family does not satisfy mr fox and he yearns for more, which is where is existentialism and ‘master plan’ come into play. domesticity was never going to satisfy mr fox, as he yearns for something youthful and risky and dazzling, adjectives not usually applied to a quiet and content home life. the consequences of this dissatisfaction are drastic and almost immediate.

soon, having been forced out of his new home and underground by an attack from the farmers, mr fox is faced with a situation he cannot charm his way out of. he attempts to apologise to his son and recite a speech to raise the morale of his family, and both of these attempts are shut down by those around him. the facade of his elaborate home, his monologues, even his suits, are abruptly stripped away leaving him with only his actions which he cannot charm his way out of. the reality is that he and his family, his neighbourhood, is stuck underground with no means of food as a result of his selfish actions. this prompts yet another key scene; his argument with felicity, which begins with her viciously hissing and scratching his face.

MRS FOX

why did you lie to me?

MR FOX

because im a wild animal.

MRS FOX

you are also a husband, and a father.

MR FOX

im trying to tell you the truth about myself.

MRS FOX

i dont care about the truth about yourself. this story is too predictable.

MR FOX

predictable? really? what happens in the end?

MRS FOX

in the end, we all die. unless you change.

mrs fox’s physical attack on her husbands face serves as a display of genuine animal ferocity, making mr fox’s claim to being a ‘wild animal’ appear as a flimsy excuse for his behaviour. his chicken theft, which he was insistent upon regardless of the consequences, was motivated not by animal instincts but a selfish desire to feel a particular version of his own masculinity. disregarding the safety of his family actually seems like a natural byproduct of his master plans because he is trying to reclaim his masculinity from a time before his family existed, and in his eyes, restricted him. the very recent loss of his tail, combined with this conversation with his wife, is a harsh reality check for mr fox in terms of the dangers of his masculinity.

the audience sees the outcome of this conversation later on, in the waterfall scene. here mr fox admits to his insecurities and suggests sacrificing himself to the farmers to save the local community.

MR FOX

darling, maybe they’ll let everyone else live!

…

MR FOX

foxes traditionally like to court danger, hunt prey and outsmart predators, and that’s what im actually good at…i guess at the end of the day im just-

MRS FOX

i know. we’re wild animals.

the difference between this admission to animalism and the one from his argument with felicity is that here, both parties gain some acceptance of their animalism without using it as an excuse for their behaviour. the inclusion of others in animalism – ‘we’re’ wild animals, rather than ‘i am’ a wild animal – contributes to illustrate how wildness is not specific to masculinity. it is not femininity vs masculinity but animals vs man.

the movie also questions the nature of an animal in the final key scene known as ‘canis lupus.’ wes Anderson referred to this scene as ‘the reason im making this movie.’ throughout the movie, mr fox alludes to his ‘phobia of wolves’ and shuts down any conversation surrounding them:

MR FOX

scared? no, i have a phobia of them!...a wolf? what’s with all the wolf talk? can we give it a rest for once?

arguably, these reactions are representative of mr fox’s aversion to competitive masculinity. he shuts down any opportunity for those around him to discuss something he sees as more masculine than himself in order to feel secure in his own masculinity. critic shana mlawski argues that ‘the wolf is described as the wildest, most frightening, and yet most beautiful creature in the world. mr fox fears the wolf and yet wants to be exactly like him. we can thus say that mr fox fears pure, wild masculinity yet also yearns to own it himself.’ the scene holds an eerie familiarity to it; mr fox is recognising something that he thought would be a reflection of himself, but the wild animal is no longer familiar to him anymore. he now accepts his role as a husband and a father and no longer fights to overtly express his animalism in the same way as the wolf. the most he can offer the wolf is raising his fist in solidarity. he calls out to the wolf, ‘i have a phobia of wolves!’, which is an interesting moment to admit this in. it’s his acceptance that allows him to admit this. the scene is entirely compromised of male characters: mr fox, kristofferson, ash, kylie and the wolf. mr fox’s admission to his fear allows him to be vulnerable in front of these people he cares about, and to use this as a teaching moment for the young boys.

MR FOX

what a beautiful creature. wish him luck out there, boys.

here mr fox openly admits his admiration for someone else’s masculinity in front of others without showing signs of his own insecurity. he can admire the wolf for what he is without seeing him as competition. the scene allows the audience to see and directly compare two forms of masculinity and animalism, and to understand that there is no one true expression of either of those traits. the wolf has connotations of violence and ferocity, whereas mr fox and his suit and display of multilingualism are entirely modern, but both are masculine animals who are valid in their own right. either way, both animals rely on violence for survival at times.

kupfer frames violence in three ways: symbolically, structurally and as a narrative essential. there are various forms of violence within this narrative, namely mr fox killing chickens and squabs, and the three farmers’ attack on the animal community. symbolically, mr fox’s chicken theft is attributed to his masculinity. while it is often presented as thought-out ‘master plans’, his desire to enact this violence in the first place supposedly stems from his ‘wild animal’ instincts. he associates a time where he felt secure in his masculinity with his actions at the time (violence). structurally, we see the potential for this violence in the opening scene, where mr fox takes his wife chicken-stealing and they become trapped. he is stuck in a fox trap with his wife when he receives the news of his impending fatherhood, a relatively obvious symbol for his view of fatherhood in general. the news of his wife’s pregnancy disrupts his ability to continue stealing chickens, not just on this specific occasion but through the coming years as well. mr fox appears to view family life as an unfulfilling, less raw expression of his masculinity, and is shown to be wholly dissatisfied with his life.

the violence on the farmers’ behalf is almost always in reaction to mr fox’s violence, already giving it a structural framing. boggis, bunch and bean are referred to early on in the film as the ‘meanest, nastiest and ugliest farmers on the side of the river.’ their violence against mr fox and subsequently the local animal community is an attempt to gain back power and status. mr fox’s actions are “humiliating’ and the local news coverage of this exchange between the farmers and animals raises the stakes as now the reputation of these farmers is on the line as well as their power. violence here serves as a narrative essential because it drives mr fox into a situation that forces him to confront his issues with masculinity and splitting between his animal and human traits, giving the text/movie a fulfilling arc. violence is

introduced as inherently masculine, but is decoupled from masculinity by the ending. mrs fox also plays a small but significant role in this; at various moments in the movie she exhibits her own displays of aggression equal in intensity to the men around her, suggesting to the audience that forms of violence should be categorised as human vs animal rather than male vs female. examples of this behaviour include her clawing at her husband’s face, and a parallel between her and a male human character wherein they both connect two wires and shout ‘contact!’, causing an explosion. while this moment is brief, it highlights a distinct difference between animals being violent and men. humans’ aggression is driven by the need for power, whereas that of animals is driven by the need for survival. the man paralleled with felicity only sparked the explosion to destroy mr fox’s home and assert the dominance of the three farmers, while mrs fox used the same form of violence to enact a plan to save her nephew’s life. petey’s song even alludes to this sentiment: ‘well he stole, and he cheated, and he lied just to survive.’

mr fox’s tail becomes a symbol of power; bean wears it as a necktie, and mr fox feels emasculated by his loss.

MR FOX

one of those slovenly farmers is probably wearing my tail as a necktie right now.

…

BADGER

i cant even imagine how painful, even just emotionally, that must be for you… oh but foxy how humiliating, having your tail blown clean off by-

MR FOX

can we drop it?

the use of the tail as a necktie is a symbol of the power that mr fox and the farmers end up jostling to achieve: at first it belongs to mr fox, then to the farmers, and is eventually reclaimed once more by the fox.

MR FOX

you shot off my tail.

[through gritted teeth] i’m not leaving here without that necktie.

when he reclaims his tail towards the end of the movie, it has been torn to shreds and needs ‘dry cleaning twice a week’ to maintain itself. this can be interpreted as a symbol for his evolved definitions of masculinity and power: his masculinity is no longer defined by impressing people or stealing or killing chickens, but in the quiet satisfaction of having a family. the final scene reveals that mrs fox is pregnant again, and instead of her glowing and her husband giving an awkward grin like in the opening scene, both of the spouses ‘glow.’ the structural framing of these pregnancy reveals bookending the events of the movie allows anderson to demonstrate mr fox’s growth and change in his priorities. the domestic life appears to be enough for him, and he no longer seems to find it emasculating,

what stands out as particularly modern about mr fox is how he unconsciously separates himself from both his wildness and his suburban self in his effort to combine them. he uses his ‘wildness’ as an excuse for his violence and selfishness, but is ultimately not willing to participate in truly wild forms of violence and selfishness, such has hunting. his chicken thefts always include infiltrating a human site, like boggis, bunce and bean’s farms, and the fun of it is in outsmarting them, rather than finding those animals himself out in the wild. the local animal community essentially functions as we would expect a rural village occupied by humans to function: everyone knows everyone, there is one local school and various small and quaint homes. while the setting reflects anderson’s signature style, it is also reflective of dahl’s framing of the community in the original text.

mr fox comes across as an individual who believes himself to be above the somewhat backward mentality of his village, that he is the most civilised and dazzling and original, and he exaggerates these traits in himself out of insecurity: ‘if they arent dazzled and blown away and kind of intimidated by me, then i dont feel good about myself.’this is also reflected in his consistent ‘trademark’, his whistle-and-click combination that he uses to set himself apart from other foxes. his home is also a reflection of this:

MRS FOX

you know, foxes live in holes for a reason.

MR FOX

[grunts and tilts head in disagreement]

yes and no.

this insecurity and desire for outsider approval and individuality is inherently human, a quality of his that cannot really be associated with his animalised parts. this precarious sense of identity and self doubt separates him from his ‘wildness’ as it stands, which is only intensified by the fact that he compensates by exaggerating his human traits in order to be liked and feel worthy, as those are the traits he believes have the most value. towards the end of mr fox’s character arc, he is forced to admit that his need for external validation is flawed and unsustainable. when the façade of carefully constructed grandeur is literally washed away by bean, he is left with nothing but his actions and their implications for those around him. foxy reconciles with the relative insignificance of an identity based on other’s perceptions of you when rat dies soon after, reacting to the suggestion that he redeemed himself last minute by revealing ash’s location:

MR FOX

redemption? sure. but in the end, he’s just another dead rat in a garbage pail behind a chinese restaurant.

this moment is also used to inadvertently allow the audience to evaluate the significance of motivation and intention to the value of an action. although rat did reveal useful information to aid the group in saving Kristofferson, mr fox recognises that he only did so because he realised he could not win this fight.

MR FOX

would you have told me if i didn’t kill you first?

RAT

never.

mr fox’s own motivations throughout the movie have devalued his actions as they have mostly been self-serving. as his motivations evolve to centre around his family, he gains the perspective to understand why one’s intentions are so important. while intention does not entirely dictate how good one’s actions are, they certainly characterise the person who’s action it is. your actions have value and consequences as they are, and that cannot be changed by dressing them up or animalising them to distance yourself.

in essence, fantastic mr fox is a lesson in the value of including those around you in your mentality and worldview. it paints masculinity as something that is inherent and complex in nature, but promotes the idea that it is not stuck with its traditional connotations of violence and egoism. mr fox’s emotional development throughout the text mostly centres around his own insecurities surrounding his masculinity and how that causes him to overcompensate in ways that harm those around him. by the end he recognises that more tame and domestic forms of masculinity are just as valid, and that basing his self-worth on how ‘dazzled’ his peers are by him is immature and not constructive. his family now liberates him and allows him to be vulnerable rather than restricting how he feels he can express himself, and as a unit the animals beat the farmers in their game of power-seeking. mr fox recognises and appreciates both his human and animal traits, without using them as a means to excuse his behaviour or to feel bad about his worth.

MR FOX

i guess my point is, we’ll eat tonight, and we’ll eat together. and even in this not particularly flattering light, you are without a doubt the five and a half most wonderful wild animals ive ever met in my life. so let’s raise our boxes – to our survival.

i.k.b

[matoroshika]

I decided to take the personality tests for some Black Clover characters to see what they get, here are the results!

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⚖️🔹Marx: Logistician ISTJ-T (Practical and fact-minded individuals, who’s reliability cannot be doubted)🔹⚖️

“My observation is that whenever one person is found adequate to the discharge of a duty... it is worse executed by two persons, and scarcely done at all if three or more are employed therein.”

Logisticians don’t make many assumptions, preferring instead to analyze their surroundings, check their facts and arrive at practical courses of action. Logistician personalities are no-nonsense, and when they’ve made a decision, they will relay the facts necessary to achieve their goal, expecting others to grasp the situation immediately and take action. Logisticians have little tolerance for indecisiveness, but lose patience even more quickly if their chosen course is challenged with impractical theories, especially if they ignore key details – if challenges becomes time-consuming debates, Logisticians can become noticeably angry as deadlines tick nearer.

Logisticians have sharp, fact-based minds, and prefer autonomy and self-sufficiency to reliance on someone or something. Dependency on others is often seen by Logisticians as a weakness, and their passion for duty, dependability and impeccable personal integrity forbid falling into such a trap. When Logisticians say they are going to get something done, they do it, meeting their obligations no matter the personal cost, and they are baffled by people who don’t hold their own word in the same respect. Combining laziness and dishonesty is the quickest way to get on Logisticians’ bad side. Consequently, people with the Logistician personality type often prefer to work alone, or at least have their authority clearly established by hierarchy, where they can set and achieve their goals without debate or worry over other’s reliability.

Their defining characteristics of integrity, practical logic and tireless dedication to duty make Logisticians a vital core to many families, as well as organizations that uphold traditions, rules and standards, such as law offices, regulatory bodies and military. People with the Logistician personality type enjoy taking responsibility for their actions, and take pride in the work they do – when working towards a goal, Logisticians hold back none of their time and energy completing each relevant task with accuracy and patience.

Logisticians need to remember to take care of themselves – their stubborn dedication to stability and efficiency can compromise those goals in the long term as others lean ever-harder on them, creating an emotional strain that can go unexpressed for years, only finally coming out after it’s too late to fix. If they can find coworkers and spouses who genuinely appreciate and complement their qualities, who enjoy the brightness, clarity and dependability that they offer, Logisticians will find that their stabilizing role is a tremendously satisfying one, knowing that they are part of a system that works.

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👑🟡Julius: ENFP-A Campaigner (Enthusiastic, creative and sociable free spirits, who can always find a reason to smile.) 🟡👑

“It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for – and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.”

Campaigners are true free spirits – outgoing, openhearted, and open-minded. With their lively, upbeat approach to life, they stand out in any crowd. But even though they can be the life of the party, Campaigners don’t just care about having a good time. These personality types run deep – as does their longing for meaningful, emotional connections with other people.

Even in moments of fun, Campaigners want to connect emotionally with others. Few things matter more to these personality types than having genuine, heartfelt conversations with the people they cherish. Campaigners believe that everyone deserves to express their feelings, and their empathy and warmth create spaces where even the most timid spirits can feel comfortable opening up.

Friendly and outgoing, Campaigners are devoted to enriching their relationships and their social lives. But beneath their sociable, easygoing exteriors, they have rich, vibrant inner lives as well. Without a healthy dose of imagination, creativity, and curiosity, a Campaigner simply wouldn’t be a Campaigner. In their unique way, Campaigners can be quite introspective. They can’t help but ponder the deeper meaning and significance of life – even when they should be paying attention to something else. These personalities believe that everything – and everyone – is connected, and they live for the glimmers of insight that they can gain into these connections.

When something sparks their imagination, Campaigners can show an enthusiasm that is nothing short of infectious. These personalities radiate a positive energy that draws in other people, and Campaigners may find themselves being held up by their peers as a leader or guru. But once the initial bloom of inspiration wears off, Campaigners can struggle with self-discipline and consistency, losing steam on projects

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🌱⚪️William: Advocate INFJ-T (Quiet and mystical, yet very inspiring and tireless idealists.)⚪️🌱

“Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you help them to become what they are capable of being.”

Advocates’ unique combination of personality traits makes them complex and quite versatile. For example, Advocates can speak with great passion and conviction, especially when standing up for their ideals. At other times, however, they may choose to be soft-spoken and understated, preferring to keep the peace rather than challenge others.

Advocates might find themselves feeling especially stressed in the face of conflict and criticism. These personalities tend to act with the best of intentions, and it can frustrate them when others don’t appreciate this. At times, even constructive criticism may feel deeply personal or hurtful to Advocates.

Advocates may be reserved, but they communicate in a way that is warm and sensitive. This emotional honesty and insight can make a powerful impression on the people around them. Advocates value deep, authentic relationships with others, and they tend to take great care with other people’s feelings. That said, these personalities also need to prioritize reconnecting with themselves. Advocates need to take some time alone now and then to decompress, recharge, and process their thoughts and feelings.

Advocates may see helping others as their purpose in life. They are troubled by injustice, and they typically care more about altruism than personal gain. As a result, Advocates tend to step in when they see someone facing unfairness or hardship. Many people with this personality type also aspire to fix society’s deeper problems, in the hope that unfairness and hardship can become things of the past.

Many Advocates feel compelled to find a mission for their lives. When they encounter inequity or unfairness, they tend to think, “How can I fix this?” They are well-suited to support a movement to right a wrong, no matter how big or small. Advocates just need to remember that while they’re busy taking care of the world, they need to take care of themselves too.

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🍺⚫️Yami: Entrepreneur ESTP-A (Smart, enthusiastic and very perceptive people, who truly enjoy living on the edge.)⚫️🍺

“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.”

Entrepreneurs are the likeliest personality type to make a lifestyle of risky behavior. They live in the moment and dive into the action – they are the eye of the storm. They are forced to make critical decisions based on factual, immediate reality in a process of rapid-fire rational stimulus response. This makes school and other highly organized environments a challenge for Entrepreneurs. It certainly isn’t because they aren’t smart, and they can do well, but the regimented, lecturing approach of formal education is just so far from the hands-on learning that Entrepreneurs enjoy. It takes a great deal of maturity to see this process as a necessary means to an end, something that creates more exciting opportunities.

Also challenging is that to Entrepreneurs, it makes more sense to use their own moral compass than someone else’s. Rules were made to be broken. This is a sentiment few high school instructors or corporate supervisors are likely to share, and can earn Entrepreneur personalities a certain reputation. But if they minimize the trouble-making, harness their energy, and focus through the boring stuff, Entrepreneurs are a force to be reckoned with.

With perhaps the most perceptive, unfiltered view of any type, Entrepreneurs have a unique skill in noticing small changes. Whether a shift in facial expression, a new clothing style, or a broken habit, people with this personality type pick up on hidden thoughts and motives where most types would be lucky to pick up anything specific at all. Entrepreneurs use these observations immediately, calling out the change and asking questions, often with little regard for sensitivity. Entrepreneurs should remember that not everyone wants their secrets and decisions broadcast.

Entrepreneurs are full of passion and energy, complemented by a rational, if sometimes distracted, mind. Inspiring, convincing and colorful, they are natural group leaders, pulling everyone along the path less traveled, bringing life and excitement everywhere they go. Putting these qualities to a constructive and rewarding end is Entrepreneurs’ true challenge.

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If you want to read more about their personality types, or other personality types- the website is 16personalities.com ! I find it very amazing at how accurate these are!

[arknights-imagines]

the christmas prompt but with executor pleasee

From, Executor

Christmas Letter and Gift event

The Christmas event has now concluded!! 🥺☃️ I'll make a post talking more about the event at a later date! 🌸

You honestly expected to be working during the Holidays, but as it turns out, everyone at Rhodes Island receives a small break for Christmas - and that includes you.

The break was already awfully gracious in your opinion; so imagine your surprise when you had entered your office to collect your belongings to take home with you for the Holidays, only to find a white envelope closed with a red wax seal on your desk.

Brow lifted, you approach your desk and carefully pick it up - on the back of the envelope, your name is printed in oddly familiar uniform hand-printing and the letter feels thin in your hand. Did someone get you a Christmas gift? You don’t recall anyone hinting to you that they were planning to get you one.

Nevertheless, you forget your original reason for coming by your office, and instead you allow all your attention to be captured by the letter; the seal breaks easily, and inside the envelope you find a sheet of paper folded carefully in half, bearing rows upon rows of words written in that same uniform penmanship - but this time you smile and your eyes soften, as when you read the first line you recognize who the writing belongs to.

--------------------

Hello love.

I was not planning on sending you a letter, so please forgive my suddenness. I assure you that I have a reason for taking up your time; though, while I am not certain I will be able to articulate my thoughts very well while writing this, trust in me when I say this letter comes from a place of warmth in my heart that I did not even know existed until you and I encountered each other.

While this is indeed a Holiday letter, I see no use in Christmas; but I am well aware others care for it very much. Laterano commemorates Christmas to an extreme extent, even going as far as decorating the streets, churches and all buildings for the occasion - they are very advanced in technology, and so many of the cities are illuminated with phenomenal light displays during this time of year; I have seen such on many occasions. I am educated on the traditions closely related to Christmas and I saw that it mattered to others, though I did not understand the motive behind celebrating it. I lacked a reason to spend time enjoying the Holidays, as well as someone to enjoy said Holidays with.

[Name]; now that you are in my life, I think I understand the reasons as to why people enjoy Christmas to a greater extent than I did previously, but it goes much beyond that - after being with you, and as our relationship grew into something I never anticipated it to become, many aspects of my life changed.

I found myself having you in my thoughts while carrying out missions, I noticed I became worried beyond belief if you were not caring for yourself or if you were hurt, and the way I viewed the world became less and less mechanical. Perhaps the Notarial Hall would see these new thoughts and feelings as problematic or as something that would hinder my ability to complete missions and work; but I am the most content I have ever been. Love, at your side I’ve found happiness and warmth that I did not think I had the capacity for. Words cannot adequately express my gratefulness for you - thank you.

As for Christmas specifically, the Laterano Notarial Hall offers a period of leave in order for people to celebrate Christmas with their families and those they care about. Rarely have I ever taken this leave, as a matter a fact, the only times I would pause my work were when I was very ill or hospitalized. I’ve always disregarded any Holidays and continued my work as usual because I had no reason to take time to enjoy them. This year, however, I will accept the offer. Why’s that? It’s quite simple; I wish to celebrate Christmas with you, love.

[Name], it may seem odd I am taking time away from my work - the fact I am not prioritizing my mission over all else as I typically would it is strange to me as well. For a very long time, carrying out the commissions I was given was the sole thing I cared about, but now that you are here, my mission is not of most importance to me; you are. Oripathy, Catastrophes, war, death - though I am well aware these things are able to end either of our lives unceremoniously, I do not worry about them when I have you in my thoughts, love. Maybe I am repeating myself, but I feel most at ease when I am with you, and I feel very happy whenever we are together. And so, I feel as though I need to spend this Holiday season expressing my appreciation to you.

I understand we spend much of our time together, both when working and when resting, though the Holidays seem like an occasion that is much more special; it is a time where I can spend time with you and cherish those moments without any distractions or worries.

My knowledge of Christmas traditions outside of religious and cultural ones, as well as what one does during the Holidays is limited, but that matters not. As long as I spend it with you, my time away from my work will be very well spent. I understand that I may not be the ideal person to celebrate the Holidays with, so no need to worry if you do not wish to spend the entirety of your break with me. Even if it is just minutes, I will and I do hold every moment I spend with you very close to my heart.

From what I have heard, Rhodes Island is also offering a Holiday break to its employees. I will never force you to do anything, but I hope you will accept the offer. Of course, you do not have to use your break to celebrate the Holidays if you do not wish to; in your case [name], I believe that any free days you get should be used to rest if nothing else. I tell you this very often, but rest is necessary, love. You mean very much to me, so please take care of yourself.

People give each other gifts on the Holidays as a sign of appreciation, is that correct? So it was only appropriate that I gave you something for Christmas. My research told me that jewelry or clothing are ideal gifts for your lover, but I do not agree; purchasing a store-bought gift felt empty to me. I wanted my gift to you to express my fondness toward you, and a gift from a store is simply unable to encapsulate that. Because of that, I made the decision to hand-make one. Gifts are meant to be unexpected, a surprise; but I apologize for not asking if you wanted one beforehand. I ask that you please accept it regardless.

As of writing this, I have just sent a notice to the Notarial Hall informing them that I will be away for the Holidays. When my break begins, I plan on spending most of my time with you. If you take Christmastime off as well, we should choose something to do to celebrate the Holidays; but if not, I have no problem assisting you with your work.

[Name] - this warmth, the way my heartbeat quickens and I cannot restrain my smile whenever you are with me; even now, what I feel towards you is something I have trouble understanding and putting into words. It is a feeling I can only describe as love. And as such, the best way I can express what I feel is this: I love you. Everyday from this point onward, I promise I will love you to the best of my ability.

Please look after yourself, love.

Executor

--------------------

Though you’re standing on your own two feet when you read the letter, as it comes to its conclusion your whole body feels airy and a floating sensation fills you at the sincerity in Executor’s words.

Everyone else around the both of you saw him as a coldhearted robot who lacked any emotions, but Executor was not what he seemed - or maybe you’re the only one who thought that way because he reserved his warmth for you. Regardless, you adore him in a way you can't describe; unbeknownst to him, he makes you feel the most loved you have ever felt, and for that, you silently swear to yourself that you will always be at his side.

Your eyes search around for the aforementioned gift Executor had spoken about in his letter, and your eyes fall back to your desk, where you notice something circular wrapped in white cellophane sat atop your papers. The shiny cellophane is opaque, wrapping around the gift and bunching at the top, where a red ribbon holds it together. You lift a brow; from the shape of the gift, you're unable to immediately discern what it is.

Curious, you carefully undo the ribbon and pull away the cellophane wrapping; as the gift is revealed, your eyes go slightly wide and your lips fall agape.

Sat on a thin cake board is a traditional angel food cake, with its hollow center decorated with an assortment of colorful berries. The icing sugar covering its surface reminds you of snow, and a mouthwatering sweet smell from the cake glides your way after you remove it from the cellophane wrapping.

Restorting to using a tissue from the box on your desk as a makeshift glove to avoid touching it with your bare hands, you take a small piece of the cake from off its side; you’re beyond amazed at the sweet taste, cloudy taste that fills your mouth as you eat the small bite of cake.

You recall what Executor had mentioned in his letter to you - ‘And so, I made the decision to hand make one’ - he had made the cake himself. Your eyes fill with awe, rarely did the Rhodes Island cafeteria offer sweets such as the one you had in front of you, and at the fact that Executor had taken his time to bake you something for Christmas makes your heart explode with warmth.

Just as you’re about to take another piece off of the cake, your eyes notice a tag hanging off the ribbon that was previously holding the wrapping together. Placing the oh-so-tempting cake aside for now, you focus your attention to the handwritten note that’s on the paper tag, ‘Merry Christmas, love. As someone born in Laterano, I understand the basis of baking, but I have not put said skills to practice in a very long time, nor have I ever baked something for someone else. While homemade angel food cake is not a feat deserving of a standing ovation, I hope you enjoy it. If you would like, perhaps I can teach you how to make it during the Holidays.’

His words make you pause, and a smile comes to your face. After a few moments, you put your tissue away and wrap the cake back up; it’s like they say - some things are better enjoyed with someone you love, and after reading the last line of his note, you decide you’ll wait for Executor. ‘[Name], while I understand a gift like this is not permanent or long lasting, my feelings toward you are. Even if I may not do it in the best way, even if I find it hard to understand; as long as I am able to, I will love you. That is my vow to you.’

[cynthiaandsamus]

Fate AU Concept Drabble

If you guys like this one let me know! I’ve been playing with this idea for a while now and already have ideas for the other Master/Servant pairs but just thought this’d be a fun idea to write out so let me know what you think!

Samus held her head, reeling a bit and looking around the ornately decorated room she’d been drawn into. The array on the floor was still smoking and sparking from recent use and some of the pictures and furniture was left askew by the magical ceremony.

“Is it common for Servants to pass out right after being summoned or are you a special case?” A voice called from the other side of the room. A blonde woman with gray eyes sat at a table that had been pushed all the way against the wall, sipping a cup of tea as she glanced in Samus’s direction. “You’re my Archer, right?” She held up her hand to show the array of seals on the back of it. “I know my method was a bit unorthodox but I thought your constitution would be strong enough to handle the bumpy ride.”

“Yes… I am…” Samus shook her head and stood, dusting the debris off her skintight blue suit and stepping towards the woman.

“I consider myself quite a scholar of history and you certainly don’t look like any knight or warrior I’ve ever heard about. You look more like some sort of astronaut.” The woman had a mildly bored but not offensive tone to her voice. “My name is Cynthia, I’ll be your Master if that’s alright with you.” She gestured to the seat across from her.

“No, I believe I am a Servant from this era’s future, you should probably owe that to your so-called… unorthodox methods.” Samus took a seat across from Cynthia, collecting herself and glancing into the woman’s eyes. “Why was I summoned?” She asked, straight to the point.

“Why else? A Grail War of course.” Cynthia poured Samus a cup of tea before going back to her own, dim eyes reflected in the light brown liquid. “You’ve either got a tremendous amount of bad luck or a tremendous amount of strength to be summoned as my Servant, Ms. Astronaut.”

“Samus.”

“Samus.” Cynthia corrected. “I won’t sugarcoat it for you. We are in a most unenviable position in this war. This island where my villa sits is the nexus for the Holy Grail of this area, the only place where it can be summoned. In short every other pair seeking this Grail will be coming after us to take this island in addition to wanting us dead. That doesn’t mean we don’t have home turf advantage, I made my home here over a decade ago and have spent that time making it a magical fortress with enough defenses to given even the most proficient heroes at least some trouble, but everyone will be coming for our throats right from the start.”

“You staked out the nexus point over a decade ago?” Samus quirked a brow. “Why are you so desperate for the Grail?”

“To tell you the truth I’m not.” Cynthia twirled her spoon in her tea absentmindedly. “I don’t seek power or glory, the only thing of value to me is knowledge and if that’s gained through magic instead of study then it’s of no value.”

“Then why?” The servant leaned forward a bit. “Why engage in something so dangerous?”

“I once had a coworker named Cyrus, we were in an expedition party seeking magical relics. He found one and wanted to use it to shape the world in a way he thought would help everyone. But that was a delusion, his version of paradise would make everyone else unhappy. I detest anyone that would force their ideals on others, no one person should be allowed to shape the world. Multiple points of view are what make the strongest philosophies, as in all things we learn by listening to others, not just doing what we think is best. I want the Grail her e to destroy itself so no one can use its power to influence the world to their singular whims.” Her eyes narrowed. “Does this strike you as an unsavory goal? To crush the dreams of all the others that would fight and die for the Grail merely for the sake of doing so?”

“Why are you asking me? It doesn’t really matter what I think, does it?” Samus muttered to herself. “You’re the Master here, I’m just a Servant. My job is to get the Grial for you.”

“I won’t have that.” Cynthia’s voice perked up, the bored tone leaving it, replaced with a sense of mild irritation. “As I just said, multiple points of view are what breeds strength. My Mage Family is known for crafting and training many different types of strong Familiars, we are taught to see them not as tools but as companions. I take that into every aspect of my life, anything that can think works with me, not for me. If you agree to do this with me your point of view will help me see what I cannot on my own and I swear I’ll never use a Command Seal to force you to do anything you don’t want to. I’ll ask you again: do you want to do this? If not I’ll find another way.”

“What I want to do…” Samus trailed off, thinking about it as if her life was flashing before her eyes. There were lots of reasons she’d done the things she did and became the renowned heroic bounty hunter known throughout space. She did things to survive, to help people, to obey the law, to complete an objective, to stop someone from crying, but had she ever done something solely because she wanted to? Did it even matter? Her long, sad life of genocide, loss and destruction, was there any room in that to declare her own desires? She supposed this wasn’t the same life she had come from though, she was starting anew here.

“I’ll do it. I want to help you get the Grail.”

“Well then, welcome to my villa. Welcome Home, My Archer.”

[script-a-world]

Submitted via Google Form: So space is 3D with no direction. We have to create an orientation based on our position. But how about aliens in other solar systems and planets. They would orient from their position. If their orbit is inclined and also far up compared to earth, then you have a different orientation. Thus, a lot of orientation problems that are way more confusing then your left my left stuff. Heck what if I had a planet in our solar system in the same orbit plane and incline as earth but the aliens made compasses pointing to the direction of earth's south but they oriented it as up/north. And say if some galaxy organization decided on a universal orientation, how much would that upend existing orientation and make everyone's sense of direction change up even on their own planets especially non space explorers who absolutely don't need a change to orient their own world...

Tex: Which way is Earth oriented? Is the default the Northern hemisphere? Why? It’s mostly cultural associations, isn’t it? There’s some argument as to landmass and population densities (albeit incredibly weak arguments), but it boils down to Tradition™. Australia isn’t literally upside down, and as you’ve indicated, it’s all a matter of perspective.

For reference, this is the current proposed view of a galaxy similar to the Milky Way from the edge (Space.com):

Source: J. Skowron/OGLE/Astronomical Observatory, University of Warsaw

There’s a little bubble in the middle, but for the most part, the galaxy is relatively flat. Quite a lot of galaxies are like this to some degree or another, though the outlier dwarf spheroidal galaxies are relatively rare and difficult to spot (Wikipedia, Mann A).

This is pertinent because it does impart a manner of inherent standardization on forming navigation systems - up will usually be either up or down, not left or right (sorry, Uranus). Because of that, the “is Australia upside down” issue becomes one of perspective rather than “is Australia left or right”.

Most every scifi media I’ve encountered has a ship coming into orbit before landing, so it’s less “throw a dart on the board” and more “falling with style”, and in that case the orientation of the ship doesn’t actually mean much. If, however, things like hyperlanes come into play, then ideally (or hilariously) traffic becomes the norm and it’s more likely that a ship will need some sort of radioed turn signal than a shape that dictates something like “front” versus “back” or “up” versus “down”.

Further Reading

Centripetal Force by COSMOS - The SAO Encyclopedia of Astronomy

Feral: Sailing and nautical references have long been used in science fiction (hello Space Navy), and it’s easy to see why. While there are certain ship directions that require a waterline and are therefore unhelpful (unless tweaked), in general, it makes sense that on a spaceship as on a marine ship “starboard” is a more helpful direction than “right” or “left” due to its stability and ease of reference for anyone onboard regardless of where they are. Celestial navigation has been used for centuries by sailors, and NASA currently uses celestial navigation (albeit a much more sophisticated kind) for navigation via relative positioning to various celestial bodies.  

As for how the imposition of a universal standard on navigation would work, consider the history and implementation of the International System of Units (or SI or metric system), why the US does not have a (functional) federally mandated standard of measurement, and how the US, Myanmar, and Liberia (which uses USCS in addition to SI) have managed without complete metrication. The big takeaway here is that standardization like this, particularly across multiple governments is not some one and done mandate by a single authority; even when it’s a really obviously good idea to have a standard so anyone can understand a measurement or hop into a spaceship not made on their planet and be able to use the nav computer, it might not be universally adopted, and it can coexist with traditional standards.

Constablewrites: The thing about directional terminology is that it’s highly situational. If a visitor to my house asks where the bathroom is, I don’t tell them to ascend to 722 feet and then bear south, even though that would be accurate--I tell them to go upstairs and turn right. So a system for explaining where planets are in relation to each other wouldn’t at all supersede any localized means of orientation.

With that in mind, why do your characters need to know where planets are in relation to each other? Especially when that’s constantly changing, due to orbits and stellar drift? Like, we learn in grade school the order of the planets in our solar system based on how close they are to the sun, but at any given moment, that ranking can look very different. It can make sense to establish a region (like the Outer Rim in Star Wars) but beyond that any conversational terminology is going to be generalized and inaccurate at best. Frequently you’ll see a coordinate system, where it’s implied that someone had to agree where (0,0,0) is, which is the sort of thing that’s relatively simple to get consensus on, especially if the coordinates are defined within a system with an obvious central point.

The only time you would really have to be concerned where planets are in relation to each other is when you’re traveling between them. Narratively, the things that will be a factor in such a journey are how long it will take, if we have the supplies (food, fuel, spare parts, etc.) to get there, and if there are any obstacles in the way. Direction is not one of these factors, precisely because it’s so complicated--even if your characters have worked out a way of explaining it, it’s gonna be lost on your reader and therefore doesn’t matter. There might be alien/supernatural beings who are capable of making the sort of calculations a human can’t, but within the story that just means “tell the computer where we want to go and off we pop” becomes “tell Gary where we want to go and off we pop.” Don’t get bogged down in the sort of details that millennia of storytelling convention have decided we just skip over because they get in the way.

Utuabzu: In space, everything is in constant motion, so absolute position does not and cannot exist. Your position will always be relative to something, usually the nearest major body like a planet or a star. On a galactic scale, assuming you’re writing about the Milky Way or a similar galaxy, Sagittarius A*, the supermassive black hole at the core of the Milky Way (or whatever lies at the core of your galaxy) is pretty likely to serve that purpose. If you then take the general plane of the galaxy and arbitrarily declare one side “up” and the other “down”, you can use corewards/rimwards, spinwards/antispinwards to give rough directions. More likely though, any spacefaring civilisation is going to have massive databases of the relative positions and velocities of stars to permit interstellar navigation, and any star system inhabited by a spacefaring civilisation would have very well-known orbits for all major bodies. It wouldn’t be too hard to work out different systems so long as the two civilisations had a couple of shared reference points, because once they know what they call whatever body, they could just look it up in their own database and calculate travel paths. Unless something major happened, these databases wouldn’t even need to be updated all that often, as velocities in space tend to stay the same and thus positions could just be calculated from old data.

[parrhesiablog]

Polyamory and Blank Slatism

The Kiss by Francesco Hayez [cropped] (source)

I. Happiness in Polyamory and Monogamy

In discussions of polyamory, participants frequently suffer from typical mind fallacy, the tendency to believe that other people have a psychological profile similar to one’s own. Some monogamists likely believe that polyamorists have feelings of romantic jealousy as they do and are miserable. Some polyamorists believe that monogamists are suffering from restrictive socially constructed norms regarding what a relationship is supposed to be like and they have overcome the social influence by using reason. While some polyamorists would acknowledge that being poly may not be for everyone. A balanced approach would probably be to say that:

Some monogamists would be happier as polyamorous but social stigma is playing a non-trivial role in preventing them from becoming polyamorous or they are deluding themselves about the harms of being polyamorous.

Some monogamists would not be happier as polyamorous and social stigma is not playing a significant role in their decision.

Some polyamorous people would be happier as monogamous but they do not become monogamous because of pressure from a partner or because they are delusional.

Some polyamorous people would not be happier as monogamous and the social stigma is annoying at best and makes life really difficult at worst.

The difficult part about this is that these things are nearly trivially true. Yes, some people fall into all of these categories. I think that the argument is usually that polyamorous people think there are a lot of people in category 1 because of social norms and anti-polyamorous people think that a lot of people are in category 3 because they are deluding themself or a partner is pressuring them or some other factor.

II. Blank Slatism

Blank Slatism is the idea that human psychology is entirely a product of environmental forces and not influenced by genetics. Hardly anyone is blank slastist about all psychological traits but many have blank slatist positions or sympathies with regard to some traits. Blank slate arguments are not made explicitly but can be seen through implication; no one will say “that is entirely environmental” but their argument will hinge on the trait being entirely or at least mostly environmental without acknowledging the potential for a genetic cause.

I believe that some polyamorists believe or behave as if sexual and romantic jealousy are socially constructed and can be overcome through reasoning. In a recent substack post by Scott Alexander, he made mentioned that the argument “you wouldn’t be jealous if your friend had other friends” was commonly raised as an argument by polyamorous people. I commented on this that it would be difficult for me to imagine someone persuaded by this analogy. What would be a possible response: “You are right. This emotion of jealousy that I have has ceased.” I can’t imagine that happening.

In other contexts, if I wanted to convince someone to stop being jealous, I would argue that their partner is faithful and loyal. I would make the point that it is unlikely that the attractive female intern at work is going to sleep with your husband because he is a good man. This would be an argument that you need not be worried because the actual act of unfaithfulness would not take place. This could make someone cease feeling jealous. But saying something like “Why are you sad that your husband is spending time with the intern. You wouldn’t mind him spending time with his buddies” seems unconvincing because the point of concern is the love, affection of sexual intimacy being shared with someone else. This feeling does not seem so mutable to me.

It is not so mutable in my view because it is not a product of social influence but is likely a product of evolution. Jealousy is coded in our genes. Across the world, there are concerns about sexual female loyalty likely due to cuckoldry preventing one’s genes from being passed on. In the Blank Slate, Steven Pinker argues that female jealousy is more focused on a psychological connection because women would be concerned that their husband would leave them. Women that did not care if their husbands fell in love and ran off with other women likely did not succeed in passing their genes on just as men who let their wives sleep around did not either. I’ll note that there would be extremely strong selection against things like compersion, positive feelings from a partner enjoying someone else romantically or sexually. That is not to say that it does not exist.

Even if jealousy were not an emotional issue, wanting ones partner to remain faithful makes sense if you are concerned about them leaving you. While being polyamorous allows one’s partner to having the best of both worlds, they may soon find that they do not need you. If this is a concern, then not wanting polyamory may be rational in some sense even if jealousy is not experienced.

III. Moral Concerns

There is likely some moral concerns that are intertwined with disgust. To some, the idea of one’s spouse having sex with another person is quite revolting. This emotion likely carries over to seeing other couples engage in this behavior. Love is regarded as a high value and sexual novelty is regarded as a low value. Trading off between these two can be seen as something that is immoral. This feeling of moral disgust is very hard to shake for people. I do not think these things can be argued away very easily.

One other concern would be societal instability. One form of this argument would be a bunch of men who cannot get women and they resort to anti-social behavior. I feel this may be a problem but someone is not obligated to pair off with a man because he may engage in anti-social behavior. However, it might be good to encourage more stabilizing social norms but perhaps not use negative stigma to achieve them. Another form of this argument would be that this does not provide children with a stable upbringing. A man could get one girlfriend pregnant and then not commit to her or provide resources because this man does not care about her much or likes his other girlfriend more. Children could be exposed to weird social arrangements and we do not know how that would affect their development. In order to evaluate these arguments, it would take a lot more data. Usually, I just see people use hypotheticals. But it is easy to imagine someone would weigh moral concern for this sort of thing higher than they do sexual or romantic jealousy. Again, something that is hard to shake off.

Another concern is that polyamory is imposed on one partner because another partner wants more novelty. The objection would be that the partner who nominally consents but really wish it was not happening just wants to not lose their partner or the objection could be that this hastens the downfall of relationships. Usually, I just see this supported with anecdotes. I do not know if this is the typical form of a poly relationship. A poly person could always say they do not support this but this would probably be a side-effect of normalization. That poly person is not responsible for other people’s relationship disfunction but it is worth noting that many relationships would not achieve the platonic ideal of what being poly would look like.

[moonlitgleek]

I really enjoyed your post on the Sansa/Daenerys feud. Something I hated about the Starks in Season 8 is Sansa/Arya's kneejerk dislike of Daenerys (at least, before episode 5). They actually had Sansa say "She's not one of us!" And that recalls nothing so much as Cersei telling Joffrey "Anyone who isn't us is the enemy." When Season 8 validates Cersei and repudiates Ned Stark, things gone done got crazy.

It was actually Arya that said that but it’s not like the scene didn’t frame this as a shared sentiment among the Starks. That was basically “we don’t like your girlfriend who we don’t know and don’t care to get to know. She is not one of us and that makes our hostility and pettiness totally justified”. My god, do I hate that scene.

It pains me that they did this to Sansa and Arya. It infuriates me that their supposed victorious ending not only rewarded and validated a rather prejudiced attitude but also leaned heavily into making their abusers define who they are. To be clear, this is not because I expect them to be “good victims” who can only rise above their trauma or behave in the most moral of ways, neither am I saying that experiencing a change due to a trauma is necessarily a bad thing, but the show fundemntally changed who Sansa and Arya are to become some distorted version of their abusers. Sansa was turned into a cross between Cersei and Littlefinger, a person willing to betray and manipulate even her own brother to her advantage and who honest to god smirked over the death of an innocent woman and used it to goad Jaime. Arya became someone whose first instinct is to kill and who absorbed an exclusionary xenophobic view that came out of nowhere. I’ve mostly put the stupidity of last season’s conflict between Sansa and Arya out of my mind because it was so illogical and forced, but the writers genuinely tried to affirm that this is who these two women became (and pls don’t @ me about how they were totally plotting together from the start to bring down Littlefinger. No, they were not and the show’s attempt to make it look like that post-fact was painfully transparent)

The show changed the core of who the Starks are in service to the plot then inexplicably framed this change as a good thing we should side with, which hits at the heart of this series. I am admittedly very attached to the book!Starks but this goes beyond my preference for my favorites to be about changing the very meaning of ASOIAF. This series was never about rejecting ideals or branding those who believe in them idiots. It was never about validating the worldview of the Cerseis and Tywins and Petyrs of the world. It’s about the struggle to hold onto your idealism in a cold and corrupt world that tarnishes it and hollows it out, a world that tries to convince you that idealism is a chain that brings you down and that ruthless pragmatism is intelligence. It’s about our heroes looking into an abyss that tries to convince them that letting the cold in is the smart thing to do, fighting against a world that tries to strip them of their beliefs and saying “no, you move”. The theme of this series lies in characters like the Starks, Davos and Brienne trying to do the right thing even when it looks hopeless. Especially when it looks hopeless. It lies in “he could have tried, he could have died”, in “is there no true knights among you?”, in “he was no true knight”, in “the North remembers”. The message is that honor lives on and trying to do the right thing always matters even if you lose your life. And so yes, it absolutely does go back to Ned Stark, not only as the person whose teachings and ideals the Starks espouse but as the first casualty of the show’s misunderstanding of the main thesis of ASOIAF.

Game of Thrones took the surface victory of nihilistic players and made it its core message. It genuinely embraced Cersei’s sentiment that you either win or die in the game of thrones, and affirmed the worldview that honor is futile and stupid and gets you killed. Oh and also that you cannot escape your past, your trauma or your paternity. Screw idealism and trying to do the right thing. That’s pointless and hopeless. Except that it is not pointless in the books, it never was. Ned died but his legacy, his benevolent ruling ideology, and his honor won by inspiring not only his children to hold onto their ideals but the entire North to rise up in his name. Ned stands as clear proof that Cersei and the entire Lannister ideology is wrong. ADWD openly goes to bat for Ned’s legacy and what he stood for. It proves that the argument that honor is stupid and manipulative pragmatism is better is bullshit.

But the show did the exact opposite and actually went to great lengths to frame honor as this hollow thing that only forestalls and impedes. It scoffed at idealism and made it this naive thing that brings the characters down, which is exactly how Littlefinger described it to Ned in the first book. The show made the North abandon the Starks despite setting up the Northern plot from the books and having Sansa deliver an impassioned speech about loyalty, only to prove her painfully wrong. Jon failed when he bargained on how Ramsay’s apathetic view of his men’s lives would make them abandon him, even when these men watched Ramsay coldly fire at his own forces, but Sansa succeeded when she withheld the information about the Knights of the Vale. It was only natural for Sansa to then brand Ned and Robb as naive men who made stupid mistakes. Why wouldn’t she when the show turned Robb’s story into a simplistic tale of a guy who was led astray by love and who was blamed for the horrendous treachery of the Freys and Boltons, when Ned’s honor was scoffed at and undercut by the show itself at every turn? See also that lovely detour in the Dragon pit scene last season where Jon’s refusal to lie to Cersei was designed to have everyone roll their eyes at the stupid idiot who put his precious honor above a needed cease fire.

It sure fits the story then to have Jon bending the knee to Dany stripped from its foundational motive of her earning his loyalty by answering the call for help to become about his feelings for her. It fits to have Sansa try and push Jon’s claim without caring about his wants or the precarious position this puts him in or even his emotional state because she knows he loves Dany. It fits to have a stunning mix of manipulation, xenophobia, hostility and ungratefulness framed as not only smart but something to be validated. It fits to have the Starks’ triumph be so soured and so meaningless in its willingness to sacrifice people for their advantage. By all means do have them pursue a plan that would necessitate a conflict between Jon and Dany all for Northern independence, or hint that Bran might have known what was going to happen and kept silent.

And when you pair that with them trying to evoke sympathy for Cersei but make Dany into a fascist (don’t think I missed the Nuremberg callbacks) and demonize her visually, with them validating Cersei’s racism by focusing on the Unsullied and the Dothraki brutalizing the King’s Landing population, just what message are they trying to send. Whose worldview are they trying to validate and why?

I missed the Starks this season, especially the girls. I missed the Arya who makes friends with everyone despite rigid Westerosi attitudes towards class and race, who is extremely sensitive to injustice and who would be the first to cheer a Breaker of Chains. I missed the Sansa whose compassion extended to even enemies and whose entire conception of rulership was about protecting people. I missed the Bran who is so connected to Winterfell that he compares its survival and its perseverance to his own. I missed the kids who held onto their compassion, their loyalty and their ideals in the face of a corrupt world trying to convince them such sentiments are futile. I missed the Starks.

[kyndaris]

A Changing World

In a world that is slowly trying to correct the wrongs of the past, there has been a considerable number of missteps. Progressive individuals from the past might also be bigots with conflicting ideals when viewed from the perspective of the present. Celebrities, held up on pedestals, reveal that they are just as fallible as us other humans and vulnerable to the same vices. Yet, in a society where one can express their opinion through the limits of 140 characters, everything that we do is scrutinised by our peers. And, should someone take umbrage with what we’ve said, all the good work we have done is made invalid.

I can’t say much regarding certain controversies floating around the internet. After all, I don’t actually have a Twitter account. So, my voice, when it comes to social media is limited to overlong blog posts that are almost ignored.

But after reading numerous articles on the subject, I’ve come to the conclusion that often times our need for political correctness has only served to divide humans rather than bring us together in solidarity. How do we include people from all walks of life without dismissing their individual lived experiences? What if we substitute the ‘e’ in women with an ‘x’ to include transgender individuals? No, wait. That could also be considered excluding them by drawing attention to the very fact that we are trying to include them.

Nothing is ever as cut and dry as one would hope. And honestly, over the years, it’s been a tiring prospect to try and remind myself of all the new words and phrases to replace ones that would be considered offensive. Is it aboriginal, indigenous or First Nations? Should I refer to someone as being physically disabled? Does that person have Asperger’s or has it all been lumped under the singular spectrum of autism?

As someone that has quite a few privileges, it can be hard to take into account all the many ways people now identify themselves as. Are you joking or do you really think of yourself as an apache attack helicopter? 

It seems that no matter where I go, I’m liable to step into a veritable minefield, offending someone even when I’m trying to appease everyone. 

And once you have offended a particular set of individuals, the fun really starts. You are then attacked for a poor choice set of words. It does not matter why you might have a particular set of views - if your own experiences in life have informed the way you think in a certain way - the lack of open discourse essentially shuts down your voice and casts you as an intolerant bigot. You are labelled and cancelled. It is essentially a form of shaming.

But the problem with this is that it fails to allow others to amend their ways. By ostracising these people, instead of trying to see things from their perspective and reaching out to them, we are essentially pushing them away. After all, with how much the world has changed, it is difficult to adapt to the myriad ways language and what is acceptable versus what isn’t has changed. 

A short film I watched from Wongfu Productions handles this issue quite well.Titled ‘A Long Time Coming’ it is about how our prejudices are shaped by the time period we grew up in and what we endured during that time. The father character is not a monster because he cannot rationalise why black lives should matter. By using her compassion and trying to relate his experiences with the current political climate, the daughter is able to open her father’s mind to possible change rather than forcing it upon him. The son’s acknowledgement of the father’s belief as born from the truth of his experiences also sheds a lot of light on the matter as who we are is shaped from what we lived through before.

I know that I have often struggled with trying to change people’s views. In particular, some of my work colleagues. Living in Australia, some of them were sceptical why Black Lives Matter protests were going to be held in several of our major cities. And I, trying to be champion the cause explained that these protests were especially relevant once the experiences of Indigenous Australians are considered. It is an inconvenient truth that the number of Indigenous Australians in prison populations is disproportionate to other ethnic groups. And that many live in a cycle that exaggerates and perpetuates a life of crime.

Of course, none of my arguments gained much ground. Why should only black lives matter when all lives matter?

When they pulled out that card, I remembered my own thoughts on the whole BLM movement several years ago. It was only by opening myself up to other views and discourse was I able to realise that in order for all lives to matter, we need to uplift those that are still suffering from inequality.

But if I had been harangued for my opposing views back then, I might have clamped down and become defensive, refusing to hear other voices because they only seemed to dismiss and ridicule my own ideologies. Articles I’ve read show that that the best way to change someone’s mind is to listen without prejudice and be open to why they think they way they do. That means being sympathetic and understanding. It means being patient as you try to educate them.

And what is most important in challenging misconceptions is open dialogue. Labelling someone a monster and saying that none of their opinions matter and demanding an immediate apology (for when that person doesn’t quite understand what exactly is wrong) does not help. Ignoring them only serves to keep them trapped in their own echo chamber that amplifies the views they already have. By sitting down and having a discussion rather than an argument, it allows people to perhaps consider the other side. And that can only be done by listening, showing patience and expressing empathy.

One of my colleagues told me that the protests of the past were not just demonstrations and people shouting out their views to an impassive public. Instead, individuals would openly discuss the merits of a change, with several others playing devil’s advocate. It meant that all sides could be weighed and considered and judged. And, perhaps, it was the best tools in ensuring change.

Besides, if my degree in criminology has taught me anything, labelling only leads to either people embracing the poor opinion public has of them or simply shunning society altogether. Something to consider when people attack others for not sharing their views or might have built-in misconceptions from the truth of their lives.

[glasyasbutch]

Time! Line! Asks! Roona: 2! Craving: 5! I make you be nice to Craving asmr!!! Ezra: 7! Gildy: 14! Tov: 8! Did I just go through your active characters page! Yes!!!! Go nuts king!!!

hee hee hoo hoo!!!!!!!!!! thank u rebekah!!!! (also thanks for the reminder to add gent and take off gildy from my active characters nnsfsdkl)

2. the timeline in which they never met who would become the most influential or important person in their life, or that person was taken from them before they were capable of forming memories.

Now this is an interesting one for roona, because they genuinely don’t have a single person in their life that i consider to be hugely influential. like, i guess at the moment you could say sepia man, for trapping her in black and white hell, or vinny, for talking her into taking that job.

but honestly, roona doesn’t form long-term attachments, and that’s not a sad thing for her! she enjoys the constant change, and she has plenty of good memories and people she considers friends, but she just doesn’t hang around any of them long enough to experience a lot of change that wouldn’t have otherwise occurred had she not been trying with that exact purpose.

so, in some ways, this timeline is pretty much identical to the one they’re in now. they float around from place to place without much regard for what they’re going to and what they’re leaving behind outside of following the trail of interest they’re currently on.

in other ways, removing any one person from their life would disrupt the timeline just as much as anyone else, because every single place she’s been and person she’s met has tweaked her path in life just a little bit. roona functions like a domino snake, falling moment to moment to moment and not able to see ahead because theres the thing thats happening right now in the way, but if you turn one domino even a little, you might miss the next one entirely and stop the trail right then, or skip to another area. so picking any random person to remove from her life very well could mean that alternate universe roona is still on the material plane, across the country from where they and vinny last were, a college of whispers bard multiclassed with rogue posing as a cleric just to get better gossip.

roona lives her life unchanged, yet utterly changed, and always random.

5. the timeline in which they continue on from the current point in their life to the best happy ending within their reach, where nothing that has happened so far is negated, but the happy things start piling up

craving’s backed herself so far into a corner that there’s no happy ending for her without some strife first. so we’ll get that out of the way.

the party finds out who her patron is. maybe judhas lets it slip, maybe she gets drunk again and spills it to val in a heart to heart about their devil cult trauma, maybe the morning lord sends manic and message and she can’t bear to lie to him when he’s sitting right next to her and asking so sincerely what she did to try and let him walk the high road.

and she cries. she cries, and she screams, and she pushes people away, and she retreats beneath her own skin and tries to hide because she knows this is her fault but she cannot admit she fucked up because she has to believe in what she’s doing if she’s going to see it through.

but someone snaps her out of it. someone gives her an exit. someone (or several someones) vow to stand by her side without judgement and get her out of this mess no matter the cost because they don’t believe that she’s as hopelessly damned as the rest of the world.

they break out of barovia first and foremost. they stab that vampire bitch right through the heart.

she gets to tell judhas to fuck the hell off, and god does it feel good.

then, she discovers the location of sirris’ true soul, that it is not in hell, and she has no reason to have her pact anymore, and she finds a way to break it, even against the queen of loopholes.

she runs into stella again, a free woman, and its been so damn long since they saw each other. they both had their trauma turned on them to manipulate them into subversion and they both are tearing that control apart from the inside. so they clean each others wounds and kiss each other’s bruises and craving finally says “i love you” because god damn it, she does, and she knows stella already knew, but her star deserves to hear it.

manic has a happy ending too, because he and craving are too close for her to have one without him. he sticks with the morninglord, i think. this god seems good for him, even if he won’t really be your typical preacher-type paladin. he probably finds love again in val. if not romance, at the very least family. at least one of her and manic gets a cat again.

craving lives her life supported, wanted, and free.

7. the timeline in which they never experience the loss that taught them something important

this is actually pretty similar to #1 that morgan gave me for him (timeline for ideal life) but i’ll give a quick thing.

the loss was cate’s death, and it taught him that the world is ultimately uncontrollable, even by the gods. at first it made him angry, that he was lied to, and he didn’t want to trust in anyone for fear that he’d be let down. he took five years to start calming down, and then it began to transfer into making him overly kind, because if all he can control in this world is himself, he wants that part to be as welcoming as possible.

so, in a world where cate doesn’t die, he never becomes disillusioned and reillusioned with the idea of devotion. he simply grows in his trust of tamara. his power increases, he becomes a staple of the temple, he lives a happy life inside its battered walls.

i would posit that he might actually be less compassionate in this timeline. not that he’s mean, he’s a very dedicated paladin of a mercy goddess. but, ultimately, he believes that mercy is a given in the world. he believes in tamara’s ability to force it to occur, and that he is simply a conduit. so he makes less effort to cultivate it himself. kindness is no longer a conscious choice that he has to make, and perhaps, that means it falls slightly more to the wayside.

ezra lives his life secure, confident, and devout.

14. the timeline in which they take a chance they didn’t in canon

i’m gonna do a real throwback here, to gildy’s first campaign that lasted ... less than 10 sessions. I think it was a total of like 6. 

in our second session, we met this old man who lived in the middle of nowhere and everyone thought he was super weird because he would go out in the mornings and sweep dust off his lawn and carry it inside. gildy asked him what he was doing and he revealed that this was actually ash, floating over on the wind from a near-ish-by volcano with a connection to the fire plane. he mixed the ash in with clay to create enchanted pottery.

now, playing an elderly 3d artist, i really wanted to flirt with this other elderly 3d artist, but the dm said no because we’d never come back to this town. but, in the timeline where gildy couldve done whatever the fuck she wanted because she wasn’t constricted by a meta-plot, she would’ve tried really hard to get to know this guy!

she would’ve asked to learn some pottery, her hands still work just fine even though her knees don’t always. she’s used to shaping metal, which fights back. she’d love to learn to shape clay, which almost moves before you do. (she might have tried to do the ghost pottery scene with this dude. she knows what’s up). 

there was a nice smithy in town too, made all kinds of weapons and armor. she would’ve taken up apprenticeship with them and hopefully become one of their artisans. and i think she would’ve had a wonderful time there! a new city, with new people, a new love of her life, all the creation she could ask for at her fingertips, a life that hasn’t grown stagnant even after 270 years. there’s also, if i remember right, a mountain nearby. she does get a little homesick from time to time, the view helps. 

gildy lives her life reimagined, shared, and satisfied.

8. the timeline in which they gain everything they want, except for the thing they wanted most

i think this is actually the timeline he’s in right now!!!!!! he wants more than anything to go back home and be forgiven. i don’t think that’ll happen. even if he does reconcile with rax eventually, he’ll have been gone too long for the clan to feel like home in the same way, and i don’t think either rax or him will ever be able to forget what happened, just build a new relationship around it.

but, he has friends now, which he never thought he would. and a house. with a business under it! what!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he’s doing good for the city. he’s part of an order dedicated to righteousness and law. he’s an upstanding citizen!

and. of course. he has savra. he has the potential for unconditional love, for family, for future, everything he thought he’d get back from rax one day, but probably won’t. he’ll fall in love with her before he even knows it, (he’s already started), and when he finally realizes, he’ll feel more okay with it than he ever thought he would be, because she knows what its like to feel shame and she knows how to grow past it. 

he’ll be her good man, and a good father eventually, and he won’t even need to go back home anymore (even though he’ll want to, he’ll always feel a bit of guilt that the half-dragon babies only know their human grandparents, and he’ll miss the summer festival food because you just can’t get the right spices in waterdeep even if he and savra try to cook the meals themselves, and he’ll miss the way his brother punches his arm when he laughs because savra never does that, and -). but he’ll have a home in ways he never thought a home could be, but he likes them, and he’s happy, truly, even with the shadows that still curl around the corner of his heart. 

tov lives his life long, useful, and good.

[juliabohemian]

Nostalgia Bias

I recently came across a meme on Facebook, posted by a friend. The meme consisted of a reactionary joke about how Millennials don't know how to drive stick shifts or read in cursive, and that if we want to keep them quarantined, we should put them in cars with manual transmissions and give them the directions in cursive.

Ordinarily, I would keep scrolling past something as inane as this. Actually, that's not true. Ordinarily, there wouldn't be anyone on my friend's list, on any social media platform, who would post reactionary humor. I was truly surprised to see it at all, especially coming from this person, who has always seemed reasonably intelligent.

The first thing wrong with that joke is that it suggests that the generation struggling the most with staying quarantined are the Millennials. Which we know is not true. It is the Baby Boomers. Though Gen-X appears to be adapting best to the whole mess. Go team.

The second thing wrong with that joke is that we still teach children to write in cursive, in elementary school, as of 2020. The third thing wrong with that joke is that there are plenty of Millennials who know how to drive a stick shift.

One could just as easily say the best way to keep Boomers quarantined would be to lock them inside and hook up everything in their homes to smart devices. Ha ha. Isn’t that hilarious? Because old people can’t use technology, right. Yeah, except for all the ones who do. Betty White and Patrick Stewart, for instance.

I couldn't help myself, of course. I had to make a comment. Why? Because I genuinely thought that the person who posted the meme would realize that it was bullshit and be willing to acknowledge that. Needless to say, that's not how it went. I got the answer that I have gotten so many times in the past "yeah, I mean, that's TRUE I guess...but that doesn’t matter because it was rude of you to point it out.”

Was it, though? Ruder than the joke itself? Is politeness to a single individual more important than the feelings of an entire generation of people being maligned by a bad joke? I believe it was Dr. House who posed the question:

"What would you prefer, a doctor who holds your hand while you die or one who ignores you while you get better? I suppose it would particularly suck to have a doctor who ignores you while you die."

Now, I would like to point out that, as someone on the autism spectrum, I don’t socialize in the traditional sense. I relate to people by exchanging information. For me, that takes the place of socializing. That's probably why I am an educator. I like to teach people things. When I see something that I know is absolute bullshit, and I think there's a chance that it can turn into a valuable teaching moment, I cannot resist. Because it isn't just the person who posted it that is going to see my comment, but many other people as well.

Social media is wrought with misinformation. It’s pretty hard to avoid it. I cringe whenever I hear people using words like autistic or schizophrenic to describe the behavior of an ordinary, neurotypical person. Those are conditions for which there are specific diagnostic criteria. The same goes for diabetes, which you definitely cannot get from eating a bag of candy. 

So, what is it that makes people behave this way? Why would perfectly NICE, well meaning people willfully and knowingly spread misinformation? The simple answer is, they don't know it's misinformation. Which is the result of something called bias. 

Bias affects our critical thinking skills. It allows us to hold views that are completely incorrect and even harmful to others. And as we share misinformation that is based upon our bias, even via a format as harmless as a meme, it spreads. And it affects other people's views and behavior. 

The primary source of reactionary humor, such as that which I referenced above, is something called nostalgia bias.

Nostalgia is basically the belief that things from a previous era are superior to their modern counterparts, without the benefit of any objective analysis. Why are they better? Because they're old, obviously. No further analysis is required.

There are two types of nostalgia, historical and personal. The simplest way to differentiate between the two would be to consider historical nostalgia to be the product of anything that happens outside of yourself and to the larger group, such as your community, state or country. Personal nostalgia refers to that which affects you personally, your immediate family, your extended family unit, your school or workplace.

Psychologists have found that personal nostalgia (as opposed to historical nostalgia) can be a stabilizing force that anchors people emotionally and helps them to overcome trauma and loss. But on the flip side, historical nostalgia is likely to prevent people from being open to change by making them dependent on the memories of an idealized past.

I can't even count the number of times I have found myself on YouTube, watching a music video for a song that is (at least) 20 years old or more, and I made the mistake of scrolling down to read the comments. Because, inevitably, there will always be someone in there saying something to the effect of "they don't make music like THIS anymore" and/or "the music they make these days is crap!" And I roll my eyes because such a declaration is purely nostalgic and pretty much the antithesis of critical thinking. 

I am 42 years old. I remember hearing people say that “new music sucks” in 1984. Which is a relatively long time ago for me. But comparatively speaking, a mere hiccup for mankind. I suspect that people have been making such sweeping statements since long before I came into existence. They were bullshit then and they’re bullshit now.

There has always been bad music. Always. Just as there has always been good music. But what does it mean for music to be good or bad? Well, unless you’ve been academically trained in music theory or have acquired decades of performance experience, not a whole lot. For the average person it means that you either like it or you don’t. If you like it, it’s good. If you don’t, it’s bad. Really it’s only a valid measurement for the individual in question. Even if you manage to find 500 people who agree with your opinion, it's still not an objective measurement. Because art cannot be objectively measured.

It's important to consider the fact that genuinely bad music rarely survives to be appreciated by future generations. Meaning that the music that does survive represents the most popular, most commercially successful, most critically acclaimed work of that era. There's a reason why you aren't hearing Milli Vanilli on the oldie's station. Although, I suspect that is more likely related to the whole lip syncing scandal, but I digress.

It's also important to consider why people like or dislike things. Is it actually because they’re good or bad? Unfortunately, no. It's entirely a matter of personal taste. There are things that I like that I know are probably bad. Low budget, found footage horror films, for instance. No award winners among them. Some of them are comprised of video taken with a cell phone. But I love them all the same.

Like all art, music is very personal. We can hear a song and are immediately transported back to a specific time or place. For many of us, music is an escape from reality, or a window to another world. Thus, music is very much connected to our memory of events and the feelings that we attach to those memories. This is what contributes to our skewed perception that something is better because it is old. In actuality, it is better for us, personally, because it represents memories and feelings that we enjoyed or that we still enjoy. As more and more time passes, those memories become increasingly idealized in our minds. So much so that nothing new could possibly compare.

The arts are important to society. It is not logical to suggest that newer generations are producing inferior art, simply because their art does not appeal to older people. New art doesn’t need to appeal to older people, because it’s not really FOR them. They aren’t the intended audience. It’s not a reflection of their generation's interests, values or struggles. 

For some older people, new art is a reminder of mortality. It is a reminder that they are aging, or that they are no longer as relevant to society as they once were. And they deal with the discomfort of that by rejecting or invalidating new things. Which is a miserable way to live.

So, think critically, my friends. Even when you’re assessing something as harmless as a meme. Look for bias and when you see it, don’t be afraid to call it out. And as you get older, try to stay as open minded as possible. Or else, someday, someone might lock you inside a car with a manual transmission and give you an instruction manual written only in cursive.

[vincedeangelo]

At a glance he may look like Grant Gustin but in reality they’re just 213 year old Vince De’Angelo, a witch here in Barton Hallow. They are a lone witch. They work as a professor of Horticulture and Biological Sciences here in town and are known for being energetic and distracted. I’d watch my back if I were you..

[History]

Saying that life has been complicated for Vince is a bit of an understatement. It didn’t start that way, but it didn’t start easily either. Being born at the middle of the 18th century in Europe to a distinctly Bohemian traveling family, his parents were already well aware of a long vein of magic running through the family tree, his several siblings and half siblings could attest to that much, but most of that magic was rooted into nature. Vince grew up in comfortable chaos, happy enough for the most part, within the shelter of a large family who looked after each other and, while facing a great deal of downward glances from the rest of society, were themselves excellent at thriving and enjoying life with very little in hand.

It was what, in later times, might be compared more to the lifestyle of a hippie commune once the family did finally settle in an area of Britain and became, more or less, the farming, earth-worshiping sorts. Which was all well and good, that slow pace wasn’t as appealing to Vince’s teenage self though and he sort of laments that he did take off when he had to see more of the world; the things he saw weren’t exactly pleasant. It did very little to unsettle his excitable, eager personality but more than a few times he made a mess of his efforts out in the world.

It wasn’t until his twenties that he began to test his magic more, at that point much of his time was spend engrossed in the the developing underbelly of London and how strangely different it was than his own upbringing. It was there that he met the person, or rather the vampire, who became his best friend in very short order. Unconventional, yes, but the two spent more than their fair share of time discussing philosophy, life and the world around them. They were inseparable. At such a pivotal point in his life Vince directed his studies towards darker magic, seeing no fear in exploring the limits of them at the urging of the vampire. It was the start of his studies as a necromancer, and one of the point of his life he still looks back very fondly on.

It seemed almost impossible to imagine but as close as they were, as much adoration Vince had for his dearest friend and companion, but that bond became strained when the prospects of relocating became as necessity. The world, again, was changing drastically, and becoming less kind to those who were not human but especially the undead in London. A few murders in the area had suspicions heavy and Vince saw it as the chance to finally leave Europe to see the States, but his friend wanted nothing to do with the idea. The xenophobia of walking into a seemingly new and hostile place was too much, the arguments spiked and eventually they split paths; Vince hopeful to change their mind later but left the argument unresolved.

Always far too trusting a soul, and lonely, Vince became involved shortly after in a particularly determined coven under the name of the Children of the Silent Voice; a group of witches who were mostly like himself and held necromantic or otherwise ‘dark’ magic as their most honed abilities. He believed that magic wasn’t evil in any form, that like anything it held a place in the balance. They recruited him under the guise of crafting a safe haven for those like themselves and Vince devoted years to helping them find other witches via communication with spirits. The breaking point came when the coven was attacked by Hunters, forcing Vince’s hand with the situation, giving him little choice but to step outside the realms of peace and right into bloodshed. He thought his intentions were good, thought his efforts held purpose in helping those like himself who suffered the cruelty of humans' fear of magic.

Something was deeply wrong though, and it began his reign as second to the High Priestess of the coven; the bloodiest time in his life. It built around him a reputation that still lingers now; he was a destructive force, the constant tip of power. After all, winning was easy when the fallen were your’s to reanimate and command against your enemies. He existed as a figure of terror, caught up in the fog that was those confusing years.

It was all for nothing, in the end. During one of his attacks on a village that had, supposedly, destroyed several witches, Vince picked up a particularly stubborn spirit that wouldn’t leave him alone. She persisted, a nightmare that haunted him in ways that others hadn’t managed, a lost child who perished before her time. Her misery broke that daze, finally, and forced him to take a step back and view what he had been doing, the horrible things that had left stains on his hands. His mind had been twisted by those he followed, and he finally saw that truth. When he approached the Priestess with his doubts she dismissed him as a traitor, banished him from their ranks and he was almost relieved to flee. His last act before leaving Europe behind was to urge the spirit who had followed him to move on, and once she had he decided it was time for him to do the same.

Living through the 19th century in the States was certainly an experience, one he absolutely would not have traded for anything else. Seeing both the best and the worst of what people were capable of was an eye-opening view of the world, and he naturally developed a certain fondness for the eighties and its’ flower-child mentality that reminded him so much at home. He bounced around, joined a cult or two out of curiosity, wandered off when he grew tired of it, even played a few lighthearted attempts at using his power to help people communicate with their lost loved ones but mostly maintained a human image as the growing uneasiness with the supernatural turned from tension to a sudden war.

One Vince wanted no part in, purposely avoiding to take sides on the matter and acting under the ideal that it was never going to solve anything. Having known real horror and being the cause of it before, he was approached time and again to join the ranks of various covens and groups but refused each time, no longer willing to be a part of such things. He expected it to settle down in a few years but they never did and the battles just kept hitting too close for comfort and sending him darting off to the next spot in search in peace. It never lasted long enough, but he just kept trying, looking for the silver lining and the end of that conflict that never seemed to come.

When rumors of Barton Hollow stirred up they caught his interest, the possibility of a new start in a place where he wouldn’t be constantly accosted for involvement in the bloodshed sounded wonderful. It was an easy choice and he quickly set off to what he hoped would be his new home for a while; in short order setting himself up as a professor at the college thanks to his handful of degrees earned over time and making himself useful to the local magic using community with his flair for cultivating wickedly dangerous plants and herbs.

Vince can be a bit much at times. He’s excitable, not at all reserved, and tends to ramble. That rambling may turn a million different directions in one conversation; he’s quite a mess about it. But he adores people; living, dead, human or otherwise. He’s very quickly becoming a relatively well known figure around the Hollow for his cheerful presence and willingness to engage people around him. It’s a sharp contrast to the history written in such bloody terms, but he doesn’t hide it. He’s open enough about his mistakes, but he certainly hopes that people understand that the past isn’t the measure of what a person is but who they were before they knew better.

As for that past, by all accounts Vince is considered one of the stronger necromancers left in the world, and one who has practiced dark magic for a very long time. Plenty of people seek him out for those skills and he does lend them to causes he thinks are going to do some positive change, but by the large his power is only used in small ways anymore. He can reanimate the dead but has learned the agony of what it costs to both himself and the poor soul, can communicate with the dead and does so when he needs information, and he knows an unsettling but rather effective way of stealing the last sights and few moments of death from a corpse's eyes. Not something to witness if you have a weak stomach. Of course he can also destroy life with a shocking amount of ease. But as someone who values life a great deal and knows the worth of it, he is far more careful in his practices these days.

While it really has very little to do with his abilities as a witch, he is known around town by the covens and the lone witches alike as the person who has an impressive garden of plants and herbs that are fairly lethal. He carefully tends to plants that are highly toxic, have properties that are considered dangerous and drug-like, and those that other witches use in spell craft but cannot access very easily because of their dangerous nature. He willingly offers this rare and deadly flora to those in need of it regardless of coven association, if he’s sure their intentions aren’t to use them in a malicious way. Just don’t try to steal his plants, that hits a nerve you don’t want to rub too thin.

Much of his gift for, and interest in, gardening and plants comes from growing up helping his mother and grandmother raise their garden in his earliest years. Those fond memories fuel his care in that work, but of course his magic influences much of his life so it seems like his real talent in the area is with those deadly species more than their mundane counterparts.

He has a pet cactus named Jared that makes the trek between his classroom on campus and his home in the downtown region of the Hollow daily; Jared is very well looked after and is a standard sort of his species. Nothing all too extraordinary to Jared, but Vince does enjoy putting little hats and costumes on him for various holidays and events the same way most people would dress up a pet. Jared has the distinction of being carried to and from home every day, Vince insists it would be cruel to just leave the poor thing all alone in the classroom at night.

Vince is demisexual, polyamorous; he's fairly unbiased to the gender of his partners though he tends to favor men a bit more, it certainly doesn't sway his interests too much from the rest of the gender spectrum. He’s had an interesting go with relationships in life but nothing ever stuck for long. His list of ex’s run the range but for the most part the breakups were civil, if awkward on his part, ones. He still maintains friendships with a few of them without much drama, still the occasional night spent in their company, but for the most part he’s been solitary for a good twenty or so years by his own choice. Having spent that time burying himself in education and the fascinating scientific world that has surged in the 20th century that took up most of his time. He’s very friendly but painfully awkward at the basic ability to recognize that people are interested in him, and equally bad at making his own interests known because by the large he doesn’t view intimate situations as solely outside the lines of friendships and his tendency to blur the two has made for some amusingly skewed situations in the past.

He is intensely afraid of small spaces; graves absolutely terrify him and any enclosed space causes him to panic. The reasoning lies in some of his conditioning early on in his necromatic practices when he accidentally managed to get himself trapped during the exploration of an older graveyard; the underground tunnels beneath it at one point collapsed and he was unable to escape. He was lucky that another witch who was mentoring him at the time found him but it instilled lifelong terror in him.

Vince loves to read, he’s been around a long while, he absolutely is enamored with knowledge and the creativity of people. It doesn’t matter what; from the most coveted early century tome to the most hilariously badly written new trashy romance novel; he reads with the sort of determined fervor that keeps him constantly hunting for new books. The internet, for that reason, is something else he loves; there’s always endless distraction on there.

He’s not the typical image for a necromancer but he hardly thinks that’s a bad thing. His students in particular he has a soft spot for, generally willing to go out of his way to do what he can if they need help. But really that extends to most people; he’s just a cheerful, upbeat sort who tries not to dwell too much on the bad. He’s also horribly clumsy at it though, but he’s good at laughing at his mistakes.

Vince misses being part of a coven, but even with the urging of those in the Hollow he hasn’t agree to join any of them. The past has made him wary of the intentions of leaders, and he doesn’t want to be a pawn once more. He’s toyed with the idea of starting his own but dismissed the possibility with the certainty that even as acting as second to someone he trusted as fully as he would have to another Priestess it’s unlikely anyone would be comfortable with someone with his power in that role, especially not with the shape the world in in with the ongoing war.

[Wanted Connections] To be vastly expanded on later, but to give a jumping off point for plotting: 

Vampire he used to be best friends with. 

Someone older than himself (213), was in Europe/London in those early years, and would have had a very close friendship with Vince. Basically the person he considered his companion and other half of sorts; he misses them very much but hasn’t seen them in a long time. They had a bit of a falling out over Vince’s involvement in the Silent Voice Coven back in the day and after the dust settled with all of that Vince went to the states and lost all contact with his friend.  This person would know a great deal about Vince, would have been about as close as anyone could be, and very much needs to be back in Vince’s life again. 

Siblings/Half Siblings

Vince had a large family, several of whom were witches themselves. He may have younger or older siblings or half siblings around, or could have werewolf or vampire siblings now depending on if they were human to begin with and were turned. He’s lost track of family over time but would remember them, this is very open to ideas and different sorts of sibling relationships. He was always an odd one in the family. 

Witches looking to recruit him for various reasons. 

The war, past or present tense, the covens, just in general. Vince has a lot of power, an unsettling amount in fact, but he’s actively avoided involvement with the covens aside from his supplying them with various plants and herbs since he’s moved to Barton when it first was established. Good intentions or bad; people who put that pressure on him to join them. 

Someone human he can ‘adopt’. 

Really Vince has a soft spot for humans, he finds them fascinating really and admires their drive in what amounts to such short lives. Someone he’s grown fond of in a brotherly sort of way and keeps an eye on, helps, and basically just tries to keep out of trouble. Bonus points if they are in fact a lot of trouble to deal with. 

People who know his past too well. 

There’s nothing all that hidden about Vince’s past and how bloody it was, but he’s put it mostly behind him. Some people haven’t, and some people like to give him grief over the idea that people can’t change. This person is an ongoing source of exhaustion for him but he’s toughing it out, trying to make them see the good; but it’s not easy. 

Someone who knows his worst secret

Lots of witches use magic to lengthen their lives, but for those with necromanic abilities the spells are particularity gruesome. Vince did something a long time past that he isn’t too eager for others to know, for the sake of keeping his own life thriving well past his mortal years, but this person, somehow, has managed to get that knowledge. With that comes a degree of power over him, for the sake of keeping that secret. A dark fae he traded a favor to ensure his life never ended naturally, another witch he sought out for a spell that he never should have; I'm open to ideas on this one.

Hunters 

Vince is a necromancer, a rather well known one. Over time he's come across people who have wanted to destroy him but has managed to evade them well enough. But this one is out for blood, maybe because of a contract, maybe his actions in the past did something to harm their family line, maybe they just really can't stand dark magic. Whatever the case it's a hard situation for Vince, not wanting to kill again but also very resolute on the idea of not dying. 

[oops-prow-did-it-again]

Pokémon Black: The Novel - Chapter 12 (Heart So Jetlagged)

Prologue and more info

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Pokémon Black: The Novel on FFN

Pokémon Black: The Novel on AO3

Pokémon Retold the series on AO3

----------------------------

After fleeing into the tree line, Marlon and the rest of the Team Plasma members present had soon been greeted by a gust of cold air. Each of them fell still and looked around nervously. Marlon was unsurprised when he spotted the two members of the Shadow Triad on either side of their ragtag group, but he was still unsettled by it. He gulped and backed away from the closest one slightly.

“About time,” Lancaster, face covered by a red bandana, muttered. Gorm hissed something at him, and he flinched.

“Thank you for the assistance, brothers,” Gorm said wearily as he bowed a head respectfully at one of the members of the Shadow Triad. The two members of the Shadow Triad bore dark leather clothing that left their eyes, midsection, and silvery white hair exposed. They moved forward and pressed the Team Plasma group closer and closer together, and then touched their fingertips to the shoulders of Marlon and Gorm respectively.

With a nauseating, out-of-body sensation that made his legs feel as if they disconnected from the rest of his body for a moment, Marlon and the rest of the group was dumped on the shimmering, cold floor of the castle. The floor was made of black tiles outlined in pale white, which made the floor look as if it were glowing. The walls were stark white and the hall yawned overhead of them, much taller than any ceiling had any right to be. Pillars carried the roof and allowed the ridiculously tall castle to keep its shape.

Slowly, they all staggered back to their feet. Marlon rubbed his temple and watched as the Shadow Triad members disappeared and reappeared just a few seconds later, this time with a passenger. Everyone reacted with a start and the group bolted into a straight line. Sage Gorm was the only one to remain calm, as he clenched a hand around his injured arm and regarded the passenger, Sage Ghetsis, with a curt, respectful nod.

“Sage Ghetsis,” Sage Gorm began tentatively, “we apologize for the… events of that mission.”

Sage Ghetsis overlooked the group of Team Plasma members in front of him with a cold, crimson stare. He paced back and forth just ahead of them with his left hand behind his back, but not his right. His gait created a unique sound as he moved across the floor, a click and then the sound of a shoe dragging on a hard, smooth surface, giving the tiniest of squeaks. Some might have found it funny, or others might have felt sorry for the partially paralyzed man, but Marlon and his teammates knew better. The familiar sound of his footsteps and the realization that there was no gathered crowd of people around them brought them nothing but panic.

“What was that?” Sage Ghetsis asked at last. He paused his pacing to stare at Marlon.

“What was… what was what, Lord Ghetsis?” Marlon asked in a strangled whisper.

“That mission!” the elderly man barked at him. “At your lead, a Sage has been injured and you were found by a child, the Shadow Triad tells me!”

Marlon shrank away from his harsh words and cruel glare. This was the downside of leading tasks and of tests for one’s eligibility for status as defenseman. The higher responsibility also brought higher consequences for failure. All of Team Plasma’s members faced high stakes in their line of work, of course; their goals were radical, even if they were for the sake of bettering the lives of pokémon. They could not afford careless mistakes. Even so, knowing that didn’t quell the quickening thrum of his heart.

“Gym Leader Lenora was much more persistent than expected,” Marlon mumbled at last, forcing the Humilau accent and slang from his dialogue with visible effort. He didn’t meet Sage Ghetsis’ eyes and stared instead at the bottom of the sage’s cloak, fixating on the dull blue pattern of an eye. “Despite the smokebomb, she immediately sent a search party out, and we couldn’t move but so fast with the skull… And Gym Leader Burgh apparently was in town as well…”

“Excuses,” Sage Ghetsis spat breathlessly. He gulped in a breath of air and then got into Marlon’s face. It required him to bend over slightly, giving him the appearance of hunching over Marlon, due to his height. Marlon instinctively lowered his head and his back tensed like a coil ready to spring. “You are no defenseman today and you are lucky if I don’t feed you to Hydreigon as it is! A Normal- and Bug-type gym leader should not give you issues, nor should a gym challenger fresh to the scene!”

Marlon wanted to defend himself. Part of his brain screamed at him to do so. Gym Leader Lenora had gotten the jump on them, and had decided, in a shocking display, to send her Watchog after one of them rather than wait to battle them, and the challenger had been with Burgh when he discovered them. As Team Plasma members only used pokémon that they had taken in with the intention of rehabilitating them, none of them tended to have full teams, or even pokémon that were willing to battle; his squadron had owned perhaps ten pokémon between all of them. It was likely the two gym leaders and the challenger had owned a dozen or more.

Yet, as Ghetsis continued to descend on him, Marlon’s lips remained as tightly sealed as ever. Instincts may have told him to do otherwise, but he knew defending what had happened back there was a futile effort. Regardless of the cause, in the end, their mission had ended in failure. Even if they no longer needed the skull, three people that knew of Team Plasma’s involvement were now free to broadcast what had happened to the world.

“Now I have quite the mess to clean up thanks to you,” Ghetsis growled.

“S-sir… won’t… won’t it be easy to brush it off as extremists?” Lancaster piped up with a cracking voice.

“Perhaps,” Ghetsis mused, “or perhaps rumors could start spreading that shake our core. As much as I try to make the public see our sense, I cannot guarantee their cooperation all of the time. Which is why we take such care to make sure operations such as these go unnoticed!” Ghetsis turned back to Marlon and brought his left leg up, swiping Marlon’s feet from under him. The rest of the Team Plasma members next to him bolted away from him immediately, watching with wide eyes as he hit the glossy floor on his knees.

“I’ve given you chance and chance again, Marlon,” Ghetsis sneered. “It may have taken you a few tries, but you always got there in the end. I thought recently that maybe that phase was over, that you had learned to put Team Plasma first, keep your focus. Was I wrong? Did I misjudge you?”

That was a loaded question that sent Marlon’s mind whirling. Saying yes meant indirectly insulting Ghetsis’ intelligence. Saying no meant further implicating himself. Opting to stay silent, he gingerly touched his knees with his hands, wincing at the bolts of pain from where he had met the hard floor with his kneecaps. He recognized his failure… he knew why succeeding was so important… what more did Ghetsis want…?

“I see you’re not as stupid as you look,” Ghetsis remarked at his silence with a snicker of wicked amusement. “You’ll return to active duty as a footman. I hear Sage Bronius could use some assistance in Castelia City as of late with errands.”

Gorm chuckled and a couple of the grunts shifted uncomfortably. Marlon found himself more and more irritated with the situation. Why was he being mocked so harshly? Why was it funny to them? Again, he thought desperately, he understood where he had failed! He understood the importance!

Then Ghetsis leaned down to him, grabbing his chin and lifting his face to meet his dark red eye and glittering monocle. The left side of his mouth was turned up in a grin while the right side failed to emote at all. “I do love this part, I must admit,” Ghetsis exhaled the words almost lustily, in a way that made Marlon’s skin crawl. He clenched his eyes shut and every muscle in his body tensed. “I love watching when you have all recognized your error and come back stronger than ever before, understanding what you must do to become a valued member of Team Plasma once more. There’s nothing like it.”

That wasn’t at all what Marlon had picked up from the look in Sage Ghetsis’ trained, malevolent eye. Dawning on him slowly, he realized that Ghetsis had finally taken it too far; wool had been lifted from Marlon’s eyes. The look Ghetsis had just given him was the pleasured expression of someone that enjoyed humiliation and pain. That thought had sent his mind reeling, questioning how someone so cruel could then preach and believe such lofty ideals as releasing pokémon from the ownership of critical, dangerous trainers. In one swift moment, he had concluded this: there was no way someone like that could believe ideas based in such empathy.

It was as if he was seeing the entirety of Team Plasma in a new light. It was too much for his mind to comprehend in that moment, and so he let Ghetsis demean him, allowed the scene to play out, all while he swallowed hard to try and keep from fainting in cold, icy fright. If what he was thinking were true, then…

It was just too horrible to think about. Beyond the personal implications for himself, sadness weighed down on his shoulders as he came to understand the idea he had fought for over the course of the last five years had likely been for nothing. Marlon truly had questioned the morality of people ‘owning’ pokémon, and he had seen firsthand actual pokémon abuse. His Tirtouga had come from a trainer that regularly neglected it to the point its shell had begun to deteriorate in a process known as ‘pyramiding.’ He truly believed changes needed to be made to how people viewed their fellow pokémon and had thought liberation sounded like a splendid way to change it, allow pokémon to be seen as equals, the class-like barriers broken…

Was he alone in this? he thought despairingly. Was this just a path to a lonesome defeat, no matter how he sliced it? What did this mean of Lord N, who had seemed so determined to meet that goal as well? Was he a fraud, too, or was he just as duped as Marlon had been? Those thoughts were by far the most sickening of the ideas racing through his mind.

“Get up,” Ghetsis snorted contemptuously at him. “I’m not done with you yet.”

 --------------

Bianca had managed to convince Hil and Cheren to remain in Nacrene City for a while following the Nacrene City Museum fiasco. She had bounced excitedly up and down as Cheren and Hil woke up, declaring that she had met some friends while they had been busy dealing with the theft, and she wanted them to meet her new friends. Hil had jokingly tossed a pillow her way and then used the second to cover his head.

“Five more minutes,” Hil complained. His entire body felt sore and somehow, he was still tired.

“Who are these friends?” Cheren had asked guardedly.

“Oh, come on! You’ll like them,” Bianca whined. Hil felt his pillow hit his hips and Noodle fell off his side with a hiss. “Oh! I’m sorry, Noodle!” Bianca immediately apologized. Hil moved the pillow from over his head and looked at her as she rushed over to apologetically pet the Snivy, who appeared to have already forgotten the cause of her remorse. Hil rolled his eyes at them and then jolted to sit upright as the rest of his pokémon flooded the bed after Bianca. Roadie the Patrat scurried up her arm and chattered excitedly around her ears.

“Your Disney princess entourage says no more minutes,” Bianca teased him. “They’re probably hungry and stuff. Besides, I think you’d really like to meet some of them!”

She continued to harp on about the idea until Cheren and Hil both relented. Hil wasn’t sure why Cheren had reservations over the idea. He had only been difficult because he was still tired after the exhausting day he’d had yesterday. His tiredness was all but forgotten as he remembered the badge he had been given yesterday and he excitedly added it to his badge case. It would have been easy for him to be upset that Lenora had seemed to just give it to him rather than make him fight for it, but after the favor he had performed for her yesterday, he selfishly thought he had more than earned that square of metal. He tucked the badge case away again and readied himself to meet Bianca’s friends.

Once he and Cheren were decent (Bianca had apparently gotten ready long before waking either of them), she eagerly helped them gather their things and discharge from the hostel room. She chattered away at them as she led them away from the Pokémon Center and toward one of the studio apartments down the road. Hil tried to keep up with her, but for once, he was lagging behind and his comments fell flat. Cheren had seemed to perk up at her excitement, and they held a conversation he felt completely out of place in. Once again he brought up the rear of the group and with a pang of loneliness, wondered if he’d ever find someone he could talk to as easily as Cheren and Bianca did with one another.

Sure, he was good friends with both, but it seemed like they had a connection on another level he wasn’t invited into. Hil could be quite outgoing if he wanted to, contrary to what his actions might have suggested thus far; prior to Vince’s accident, he had always been someone to know the name of every other person his age in town. But Vince’s accident had seemed to bring a curtain over every opportunity at friends he felt he had. Everyone’s decided treatment of him following the incident made making friends feel awkward, forced, and uncomfortable, to the point if they reacted strongly to who he was, he wouldn’t even try to make friends with them.

Perhaps that was why he had reacted so strongly to N’s declaration they could never be friends back in Accumula Town. Someone that had known nothing about him or his father had just decided, on conspiratorial ideas surrounding the usage of pokémon, that he wasn’t worth befriending. The thought brought a rush of heat over his entire body and he squared his shoulders slightly. The nerve of that man! And he felt especially angry at himself for having all but forgotten his anger in a bid to try and make N see the fault in viewing him that way back at the museum. Thank Arcues Cheren had been there, he thought bitterly.

“We’re here!” Bianca exclaimed. Hil paused and watched as she knocked on the door. Right away, it swung open, revealing a guy that looked to be about their age with rusty red hair and brilliant green eyes. He beamed at Bianca and threw his right arm out wide, the left still clutching the door.

“Bianca! You’re here! These your friends?” he asked curiously, craning his neck to look at Cheren and Hil. Hil curiously stared right back, his train of thought abandoned at the sight of the new guy.

“Yeah! Church, these are my friends Cheren,” Bianca prodded Cheren’s nose as she pointed him out making him swat her away with a flustered glare, “and that’s Hil! Hil, come say hi!”

“Hi,” Hil echoed stupidly without a second thought. Something seemed to breathe life into him as he hopped eagerly over to Bianca at the doorway. “I’m Hil! What’s your name?”

Noodle, curled around his shoulders as per usual, chittered at the guy at the door happily.

“Aw, that Snivy’s so cute!” the guy beamed again. Hil felt like a weight disappeared from his shoulders when he saw the guy made no reaction to his name, which told him he probably didn’t know about Hil’s relation to Vince, if he even knew about Vince’s accident. “Nice to meet you, Hil! I’m Churchill, but my friends just call me Church.”

Right, right, Bianca had just said his name… Hil chuckled in a little embarrassment.

“Anyway, you three come inside!” Church nodded, moving away from the door. Bianca rushed in after him and Hil followed hot on her heels, though he trailed Church through the apartment. It was at a respectful distance, but still obvious to everyone else. Upon entering, he noted that there were three others, girls, scattered throughout the apartment situated in front of canvases and drawing pads. Guiltily, he paid them little mind, drawn instead to the boisterous redhead, Church.

“So, Bianca tells me you two are on the gym challenge,” Church said to break the ice. He settled at a countertop in the far right of the room, peering just past a refrigerator to speak to everyone else in the room. His hair was well-combed but fell over his forehead messily and he pressed a palm lazily to his chin to hold his head up. “How’s that going? I hear the triplets and Lenora can be a real hurdle for new guys. Most give up on them.”

Hil opened his mouth to respond, but Cheren cut him off. Hil shut his mouth again to let his friend speak. That was just easier. Despite Cheren speaking, however, Hil only continued to stare at Church.

“The triplets were a little difficult because of that Work Up strategy,” Cheren stated thoughtfully. He had taken a seat on a navy couch next to Bianca, having scooted quite close to her, not that she seemed to mind as she shared hushed whispers with one of the girls that was drawing. “Really teaches one the importance of moves that aren’t just sheer power.” He then sighed. “Lenora, on the other hand… ugh, she was just strong. Honestly, if she didn’t use Take Down so much and wear her own team out with it, I feel like she’d have won. I really need to train more.”

Church nodded thoughtfully and then turned those flashing green eyes to Hil. “What about you?”

Hil couldn’t come up with a cohesive way to tell his story, and instead it came out as more of a stammering avalanche of words. “Well, I had to try against the triplets twice because I got nervous in front of the crowd but they weren’t that bad… Chili was really nice… yeah I faced him because my starter’s Snivy… Lenora, uh, I actually didn’t battle her… well I was going to! But then the whole thing happened yesterday and Burgh arrived and, you know, the smokebomb…”

“Whoa, whoa,” Church laughed, “slow down, I can barely understand you.” He cocked his head at Hil slightly and winked at him. “Don’t go getting nervous on us now, we’re art kids. We set the bar for what weird is.”

Hil snickered loudly at that and then cleared his throat to cut off the awkward laughter. “Uh… well… Lenora had me help with the incident at the museum yesterday,” he finally explained, “and she… she gave me a badge for that.”

“Whoa, you got to help out a gym leader?” one of the girls asked as she turned away from her canvas. She had darker skin and thick black hair. “That’s awesome! Some say that’s a way more genuine way of earning a badge than just a battle. Anyone can battle, but impressing a gym leader’s a big deal.”

Hil’s cheeks flushed with a twinge of red and he smiled awkwardly after her. “Th-thanks…”

Church hit a hand against the countertop excitedly. “Damn right it is! What did you do, man?”

Hil blinked fervently at him and swallowed. “What… what did I do what?”

Church howled in laughter, throwing his head back. “I like this guy. Where’d you find him?” he asked Bianca.

“Known him my whole life,” Bianca shrugged, giggling.

“Oh, another Nuvema kid,” Church nodded agreeably. “Nice little town. Shame what happened to that guy from it, though, in Castelia. I know some mates from Castelia that say he was a really good dude, no matter what those idiots on the news say.” He paused and slicked back some hair that had fallen in front of his eyes. “Me and my friends here are from Mistralton ourselves.” He rolled his eyes and imitated a plane sound poorly, earning laughter from everyone else in the room. “It’s so boring up there! And cold. And there’s nobody there. So that’s why we came down to Nacrene to try and express ourselves some. Find our path, you could say. We’re on our own journey! An artsy one, but still.”

Hil was hanging onto his every word. Not only did he barely know anything about Vince, but he didn’t feel strongly about it in any way. He was funny and charming and… it was so much different from trying to meet new people back at Nuvema, Accumula, or Striaton.

“Nothing much going on back in Nuvema, either,” Cheren chuckled. “Though, I can’t say the same about any town after that. Seems like we’ve had our run-in with crazy every which way we go. Team Plasma’s a real riot.”

“Dude, Team Plasma is wild,” Church agreed. “Kris! Tell them what you told me about your mom,” he said, turning to the last of the three girls, a platinum blond painting away with intense concentration etched in her pale face.

“My mom’s in the police force of Iccirus City,” she said quietly without ever looking away from her painting. Hil thought he recognized the subject as a Swadloon. “She says that there’s been all sorts of reports over bad stuff with them, but…” she trailed off and fell silent for a few seconds. She paused her painting at last and set the thin brush she had been using to the side. “She says that the police as a whole have no idea what to do about them. They just don’t have the resources to do a probe investigation,” she sighed. “And every time they go after individual people accused of committing crimes, they seem to vanish without a trace. You know, they took Stoutland out to track them once, a huge pack of them, and they still couldn’t find them. It was like the tracks just dropped off at one point, like they flew away or just blipped out of existence.”

“That’s not to even mention how the Pokémon League Staff have more sway over law than the government does,” Church picked up with an amused snort. “Which, since Team Plasma’s always at odds with them… that means lots of people just think the League wants to shut Team Plasma up.”

Kris crossed her arms and nodded.

Hil frowned. “S-so, you’re saying, they just… don’t have the ‘infrastructure’ to check out Team Plasma for real?”

“Nope,” Church shrugged. “Nobody’s got any idea where they’re based at, either. The news is crazy about this stuff, dude, y’all wanna check it out sometime?”

“Maybe not right now,” Cheren intervened with a sigh. “We’ve been running into those idiots ever since we left Nuvema Town. I was hoping to forget about them for the day.”

Hil could agree with that sentiment. He wanted to hear more of what Church had to say aside from Team Plasma. They spent the entire day there, joking and talking about everything under the sun. Hil discovered Church was a musical artist rather than a visual one, and he was a fantastic dancer as well. Much to Hil’s dismay, he enthusiastically tried to get Hil to dance at one point, eagerly offering pointers and tips to try and untangle Hil’s nervous feet.

“Aww, c’mon, you’ve got the perfect build for a dancer,” Church pouted as Hil pulled away from him at last. His entire body was trembling, but Hil didn’t truly want to leave. He just wasn’t comfortable with the spotlight. “Noodle’s cute too. The audience loves a cute sidekick pokémon.” Church winked at him and Hil looked away quickly.

“S-sorry, I just don’t dance,” Hil stuttered. “Uh, why don’t… why don’t you sing something for us?”

“Oh, don’t do that,” Kris shot from the other end of the apartment.

“You’re just jealous,” Church sang. He then narrowed his eyes knowingly at Hil. “But sure, I can sing.”

“Here we go,” Kris complained resignedly.

“Don’t you wanna get away from the same old part you’ve gotta play,” Church opened up with a loud verse from a song Hil had never heard before. He yelped when Church then grabbed him by both hands and forced him into a dance of sorts, though Hil flailed and struggled to keep up. “’Cause I’ve got what you need, so come with me, and take the ride…”

“It’ll take you to the other siiide!” Bianca exclaimed gleefully from the couch. “You sound amazing, Church!”

Church laughed and cut himself off from singing. “Hit it, Bianca!” he beamed. He finally let go of Hil, but not without casting another amused glance his way. “You good, Hil?”

Hil realized his face was burning red and he stumbled as he tried to straighten himself out following the performance. Noodle dove off his shoulders and scurried over to Cheren and Bianca on the couch, looking at him in a way that seemed a cross between disappointed and embarrassed. Yeah, me too, Hil thought in amusement. He adjusted his hat over his wild brown hair and offered a thin smile at Church. “Y-yeah, I’m fine!”

Church then snatched Hil’s hat by the visor and tossed it on his head. With a playful grin, he booked it into the living room area of the apartment, away from Hil.

“Church, will you stop being a cat,” the girl drawing next to the couch whined. “Give the kid his hat back.”

Hil hadn’t moved from the spot, bewildered by the playfulness aimed his way.

“Aww, I’m just having fun,” Church whined. He leaned over the counter again, still with Hil’s hat, and tilted it cutely over his head. “I think it suits me.”

Hil had to agree. It definitely suited him.

 --------------

When the day came at last that they were to leave Nacrene City, Hil had to admit, he really didn’t want to go. Cheren had finally complained after two weeks following the museum incident that they needed to move on. Bianca and Hil had added their new friends’ numbers to their Xtransceivers, but Hil couldn’t shake the fear he’d never see them again from his mind. At first, he had fought Cheren on the notion, but Cheren had insisted they needed to travel to actually complete the gym challenge. Hil knew he was right, and Hil could recognize that his own pokémon were getting anxious to move on, but it didn’t ease his worries by much.

For the first time in ages, he had called someone else on the Xtransciever. On the day he, Cheren, and Bianca planned to leave, he had lagged behind and sat just outside of the Pokémon Center. He selected Church’s number from the few options in his contacts and opted to leave it on a video call. He never thought he’d have seen the day again where he called someone else on the Xtransceiver for a video chat. Church answered almost right away, with the camera stupidly close to his emerald eyes.

“Hil!” he exclaimed once he recognized him. Only then did he pull away from the screen some. “Hey! You guys are leaving Nacrene today, right?”

“Yeah, I just wanted to call some before I headed out,” Hil chuckled.

“Good!” Church retorted with a smirk. “You better remember to come visit every now and then, you hear? And call! I answer! Unlike some people.”

“Shut up,” Kris’s distant voice called.

Laughing, Church turned back to Hil. “Well, anyway, I’m guessing your friends are eager to get out of here by now. Good luck, Hil! Call and let me know how future gym battles go!”

Hil nodded and said a few other things before the call was over. He sighed as he defeatedly pushed the device back into his pocket. Noodle trilled and rubbed his face against Hil’s cheeks. “I know, I’m being silly,” Hil muttered. “Just… worried I won’t find anyone else like that, you know?”

Noodle gave a low rumbling noise that resembled a purr, and Hil felt comforted. He hugged the Snivy close as he got to his feet and decided to head for Pinwheel Forest, where Cheren and Bianca were undoubtedly waiting for him.

[twitchesandstitches]

Miscella Vs the Fleet: old wounds

Spinel was something of an outsider to the Fleet, and walking through the rubble that had been a street market only a few hours ago, she felt that she was missing out on a lot of context.

Robots, humanoids, chimeric mash-ups and the periodic holographic manifestation of digitally encoded mind-states sat against the wall, nursing their wounds, wincing as medic-clerics carefully extracted acids specifically designed to counter the most common methods of regeneration against the Fleet. People who had chitinous bodies or alterations had watched their armor melt and then screamed as the acid had bitten at flesh and blone; those with powers centered around manipulating energy had been hit by anti-magic devices that disrupted the delicate flow, causing their bodies to break apart and explode on the spot, surviving only through sheer bloody-mindedness.

Gems weren’t immune. Spinel vaguely recalled agonizing pain before she poofed, and whatever it did had set the delicate balance of mutagenic forces plaguing her into overdrive; even now, the corruption raced through her, her projection slowly warping and turning acidic, spiritual pain sliding inward. And her Gem, mounted between breasts so large they made up a massive chunk of her entire mass, was a mass of jagged mineral, her rosey-red tinting into a dark and horrible shade of purple...

She heard it. The call of, of the thing from beyond the stars. The slow whisper, sliding into the back of her mind, drowned out just barely by the voices of other people.

But there were warm hands, kneading into her projections weak points where she got too rubbery to even move, pumping enough magic to stabilize it. It was a magic like fire, warm and, and kindly.

“Can you move?” Said a deep, rumbling voice that almost all solid baritone.

Spinel nodded, painfully standing up. She looked up into a tall and imposingly massive figure that could have been an ogre, or perhaps a goat, depending on how you looked at it. Perhaps even a nicer variety of demon.

The massive and exceptionally masculine figure sighed in relief; muscles individually larger than Spinel herself shifted beneath shaggy white fur, and a long face crowned by huge horns smiled softly. “That’s good. Please move carefully; I’m not sure how your magic might have been compromised.”

Asgore, she’d heard him called. The King of the Monsters, and a whole lot of other titles that made it sound like he’d seen a lot of extremely nasty things, and it was strangely appealing that he’d taken a bit of a shine to her.

Spinel frowned at the soldiers being led away; they weren’t local. None of them looked particularly modified on a biological or cybernetic level, though their fancy uniforms (very sleek, with a bit of an angular vibe to them) were definitely performance-enhancing exoskeletons. Power armor, she supposed, though not as clanky and ritualistically maintained as the sort you saw in her new group. The soldiers were a mixed group, of all manner of species, but whether it was a primate’s face or an avian turian’s mandibles or a glowy energy monster, they all had the same shut-down look of someone who was just doing a job and considered your presence to be beneath them; small time bullies who used what power they had to humiliate anyone they felt like.

They all had the same logo on them, which looked a bit like an infinity symbol surrounded by a spiral branching off into arrows pointing in multiple directions. “Who ARE those guys?”

“Miscella Incorporated soldiers, I believe,” said Asgore. “They have many private armies, of mercenaries and other such ruffians, but I suspect these are one of the in-house special forces they employ for touchy situations.”

Spinel blinked slowly. It had been a long day, not helped by a war rapidly escalating from a minor argument all at once. As best as she could tell, there HAD been a ship arrivng earlier, apparently to discus some trading rights.

And then there’d been yelling. And some of the Fleet members got way more intense about it than she’s ever seen, and they’d thrown punches after someone called them ‘disgusting mutants’, and then things really got out of hand.

At one point, a two-mile long ship had crashed right onto a city.

“So what the hell happened!?” she asked. “It was just a business thing; why’d they make it personal?”

Asgore sighed, looking very tired. “You should know... I’ve been with this group for a long time. Ever since we were nomads, roaming from world to world and fleeing our many enemies.”

Spinel glanced at him. Now did not seem the time for a history lesson. “Sure. You weren’t really the Fleet yet, right? You and your monsters joined up early on, then I guess Gems started finding you, and lots of other people... but it wasn’t like the way it was today. Things were a lot more fractious, you were always in danger, and the guys who’d form the Cobalt Stinger pirate empire were still with you.”

“Yes. Back then, we hadn’t run into those brutish sorts of the Imperial Commonwealth either. Our main enemy was... well. Miscella Incorporated.”

“...Why?”

“We passed near their worlds, and they took offense to us. You see, we didn’t use any of their currencies, we weren’t interested in buying any of their stuff save supplies or interesting gear, and most of all, we didn’t want to settle down in their lands and submit to their restrictive policies.” Asgore frowned. “Mega corporations, like Miscella, institutes some very harsh restrictions for their people. Depending on how the local branch implements it, they can often be little better than legal slavery. People are legally the property of whatever sub-corporation that has them employed, and they cannot move to other planets, change careers, or gain additional income without approval. Sometimes, they are even forced to have surgery and monitoring devices installed so they cannot think thoughts that Miscella would disapprove of.”

“That’s horrible.”

“Yes, that’s what we thought. We told them no. We said, on many ocassions, that our pride wasn’t worth whatever profit they offered. So things got much worse from there; Miscella is a bit of a control freak, as a whole, and since we would not comply, they tried to force us into either compliance, or to wipe us out and indoctrinate us.” He shook his head. “I honestly don’t know if this kind of policy is company-wide, or if we were simply unfortunate enough to be in the crosshairs of a particular branch that hated people who were from social margins... but they killed us, hounded us, chased us across hundreds of worlds. We fought back, and killed lots of them. At times, we were a roaming horde, destroying their towns and claiming the ruins as loot, just to survive. Revenge, and so on. And it wasn’t the Stingers alone that did such a thing, I can tell you.

“So blood for blood, and then both sides wanted revenge for the revenge we’d already taken, and so on. And so forth. It went on for a long time.” He sighed. “And so, now, there is a lot of bad blood.”

“Ain’t you guys ever tried to make peace, or at least force a cease fire?” Spinel asked. “We’re one of the biggest, baddest societies around; a single one of our heroines could clobber a whole army of theirs, I’m thinking.”

“True enough, but force alone is not a terribly attractive notion to all the clans, and given the scale of Miscella’s holdings, such total war would require absolute agreement among all the clans... and you know we argue far too much for that!” Asgore laughed, and then grew serious again. “But, miss Spinel, it’s not just revenge. Even if we didn’t have generations telling us, with bloody stories, not to trust them or give them an inch, our philosophies are wholly incompatible. You know, I think, that we in the Fleet believe that life, absolutely all forms of sapient existence, has the right to be free and become whatever it chooses, and to help all others prosper and live in contentment?”

Spinel nodded. “Yeah. I suppose that’s a reason I’m still here.”

“Indeed. Well, Miscella, I’m sorry to say, largely regards all people as resources. Sometimes... literally. Sometimes simply as markets to tap, or employees to use. But inevitably, they see people as tools and assets, fit only to serve their interests. Almost like a divine right of kings, but based on their own existing wealth and power; they consider themselves to be the rightful rulers of all existence, and all us must fall into line with how they think the world ought to be. They treat deviance from their cosmic agenda - which is an actual thing they have, some sort of flow chart of ultimate heirarchy and organization - as a personal affront. And we are nothing but deviants, you know!”

Spinel laughed. “I know!”

“So, our ideals and views are... too different. We see people and want them to be free. They see resources, and want to bring them to heel. Even if not for our mutual resentment, that would breed other problems. But ultimately, they are our oldest enemies.” He sighed. “And sooner or later, there will be war.”

“...We’d win that one. Right.”

Asgore looked troubled. “That’s the problem, though. I’m sure we’d win. The question is, how can we decisively win a war against such a powerful group, with our honor intact?”

[thelightningawardsofficial]

Review | K A T H A R O S

Judged by Shawn (Snowwhitewolf09)

Category: I'm Not A Mary Sue

[ Author: ArimaMary ]

>Title (5/5): I'm a sucker for Greek and Latin words, and Katharos is a word I find to be on the beautiful side of the Greek language. The title itself gives much of the work immediately, the chosen word obviously being a reference to Kiyoshi's emphasis on purity. Ergo, readers know what to expect the story to revolve around. However, I like the charm that it has to it, a lingering sense of mystique that persists.

>Summary (7/10): It's short and sweet, and manages to summarise what Katharos is. I am just docking a few points because I feel that you could have added a bit more to give a better picture of the story and hook readers. I also wouldn't really call Kiyoshi an 'average student' of Teikoku, since he seems to be more of an outcast if he gets flack for being a "foreigner".

>Plot (22/25) -> [17.6/20]: The overall plot is straightforward, and there aren't any twists and turns that make it complex. It might not be an intriguing stand-alone story, but since the book is a spin-off that is supposed to highlight the character and philosophy of Kiyoshi, I'm lenient regarding that matter.

I like how each chapter shows an important part of Kiyoshi's personality. They are well-picked, highlighting different facets each time, and adding a little bit more background on why Kiyoshi thinks like this or acts like that. I didn't feel a 'filler chapter' and that gives you quite a boon. The pacing was also adjusted enough to show the perspectives, though perhaps it leans a bit to the slower side.

The way I see it, though it is in third person, the narrator is attuned with Kiyoshi, appropriately moving slowly where Kiyoshi would be slow himself, like the almost-drooling-over-Kidou scene. Sometimes, it would feel a bit dragging, but that doesn't affect it too much, since it is covered with splendid character portrayal.

I didn't give you full points because the plot didn't make me crave to know what would come next (Partially because of the speed, and partially because there wasn't really much action to be looking out for), and it feels a tad lacking in events due to brevity and (I assume) the focus.

Regardless, the plot itself managed to bring out Kiyoshi's character with events, dialogue, and the pacing, so kudos to you.

>Characterization (18/20) -> [13.5/15]: I've little to say other than you've done great with Kiyoshi. After going through some of the chapters, his actions seemed to become easy to understand, since his character had been shown well. I enjoyed seeing his convictions and his vulnerabilities, as well as his view on 'purity'.

If purity is staying true to oneself, I find Kiyoshi to be creating many exceptions: he is merely staying true to what he feels at the moment, believing that it is his true self. He says rather early that he needs nobody else, reinforcing what he felt at the time. Later on, he shows that he actually is rather lonely, and convinces himself to mend his relationship with Keima. It's an interesting, yet utterly desperate (fitting of his character), way to view purity.

I do have a problem with how he saw Teikoku as his Paradise, as the earlier outburst gave me the vibes that he was not exactly fine with his place in school. Considering his vulnerable side that is shown later on, such irritability rubs me off as the result of having a negative view of the people in his school. Perhaps he frequently convinces himself that Teikoku is Paradise (which is why he also had his view of Teikoku changed into some sort of place of dark deals). Maybe it just strikes me as odd.

Keima is also well-done, but I honestly feel like he just seems a bit lacklustre before he talks with Kiyoshi about mending their relationship. That said, I look forward to seeing a bit more of him.

Grammar and Writing Style (13/15): While I did spot a few sentences that were oddly constructed (either run-ons or have pronouns that seemed to be ambiguous) and 'Hachidan' alternated with 'Hachi-dan', that is not what I want to mainly discuss.

The way you unfurled Kiyoshi's character was made effective by the well-written descriptions and the use of figurative language/symbolism. Of course, the most prominent would be the mention of the Garden of Eden, as it was what summed up Kiyoshi's motivations.

I also appreciated the use of 'Kin' as a human face for weakness and past mistakes, as though I am not sure who this Kin is, Kin has come to personify concepts that Keima and Kiyoshi find negative. I also particularly liked how his box of dreams was a literal cardboard box that had his hopes and dreams contained within—now that he was dead-set on following them again, they did not need to be boxed up and kept to the side anymore, but brandished. The hissatsu of Keima comes to me as a sort of representation of his reformation—Cortana was the blade that had its tip cut off, similar to how the once forceful Keima was trying to cut off his 'edge'—and makes me think of how much he contrasts with Sir Tristan of the Round Table (Tristan being the sorrowful Knight). He also had the Tristian-Igraine relationship with Kiyoshi back then, as Tristian married another person named Igraine, but always compared her to his first love.

It was a little hard to catch, but I saw a subtle "light at the end of the tunnel" derivation which made me read again just to make sure. As Kiyoshi was doubting whether or not he would actually be able to reach his dream through these dirty methods, walking through uncertainty, he drew nearer to the end. That was where he would face his dream. The scene was a transition from doubt to hope.

There's also this little bit that gives me a better view of Kiyoshi and Keima's relationship. I didn't get it at first, but I then realised it after studying up the names. Kiyoshi was the dragon to Keima's knight back then, reflected in their names Ryuugamine and Keima. Kiyoshi was the one who challenged Keima's moral code.

The mention of a red oni brought into my mind the 'red oni, blue oni' trope. The red oni is a symbol of passion and desire, or simply emotions. The red oni within Kiyoshi was being quenched, the void of loneliness being filled with the forgotten feeling of having someone to complete you.

I had to dock points for the little mistakes and some portions with descriptions that seemed to be a tad long, but those are just minor problems.

>Originality (9/10) -> [4.5/5]: Okay, I docked a point for the Teikoku Spy trope, and the lack of much things that are 'shockingly original'.

However, I will say that Kiyoshi himself is someone I find to be original in some ways amongst IE fanfiction characters. His desperate view of purity is something I haven't really encountered, and I find his foreign blood to be uncommon (Though Suabara also has foreign blood). I also liked how Kiyoshi was learning Killer Slide, a hissatsu that doesn't get much love, as it usually is seen as a show of brutality.

Also... Kiyoshi's later motivation for being a spy is refreshing to see. It was first much like desperation, but later on hope and optimism. Guess Keima did rub off on him.

>Feels Factor (14/15): I have to say, you made me feel much for Kiyoshi. He reminds me much of a friend of mine, and I sometimes I would be whelmed by Kiyoshi's shows of his desperation to cling to purity and what little bit of his dreams he has left. His mother was portrayed well enough for me to almost want to slap her across the face, while the contrasts made between Kiyoshi and Keima's backgrounds made it much more difficult to not feel anything for the blond.

I felt less for Keima, though it was to be a given since he was not the focus. Nonetheless, your words managed to make me connect with his doubts about how he treats others, though I feel like there could have been a bit more to him.

Seeing Kiyoshi come to terms with his dream and his interactions with Keima was a blessing. You averted one of the things that I find too often—a spy doing it because of some threat. You gave Kiyoshi a positive reason to become a spy, which is not to prevent damage to himself, but to finally reach his dreams that had been suppressed.

I had to dock a point because of Keima and how I wasn't particularly craving to know what would happen next, but that's minor.

🅞🅒 🅡🅔🅥🅘🅔🅦 -> [➊➍.➊/➊➎]

>Name(5/5): Ryuugamine means "dragon's peak", and is not too odd of a surname. The contrast with Keima's name gives it a little bit more substance, though the name itself isn't telling of too much. Additionally, I thought of the Seiryū, and how its connection to Wood fitted soundly with the elemental affinity of Killer Slide.

Kiyoshi's name reflects who he is, as well as the ideal that he strives to achieve. Ultimate purity, stainless, at all costs. Kiyoshi's name means "pure," and is fitting.

>Appearance (6/8): I get enough description from Kiyoshi to have a general idea of what he would look like in a crowd, but details of his physical appearance aren't as focused on as Kidou Yuuto's.

I like the little detail that he likely has some pimples on his face, as it makes him look more human in a world where practically every character looks like their face never needed cream nor shaving their entire life.

I had to dock points for the scarcity of description. Aside from the colour of his hair, the presence of red-rimmed glasses, and his pimples, there is little else. His physique nor skin colour isn't touched upon, even his eye colour isn't something I've found.

Furthermore, I cannot seem to get around him being called foreign-looking because of his blond hair, considering the fact that there are many who also have blond hair, and that green hair isn't anything odd.

>Personality(10/10): Kiyoshi's personality is definitely well-developed and well-shown. I've already touched most of this in the Characterisation, so it'll be redundant here. You've done a good job of showing how strongly he clings to his idea of purity. Especially that fixation on Kidou, that is almost unsettlingly detailed.

The development of Kiyoshi's character with Keima as the trigger was pleasing. Early on, he was against having friends, and came off as an individual who was fiercely independent. Just as he was back then, according to his talks with Keima. But talking with Keima showed that Kiyoshi still had the capacity to truly connect; it had only been boxed up and put to the side like his dreams.

>Strengths and Weaknesses(11/12): His vulnerabilities are well-exploited. His desperation made him lean to Kageyama, and his hesitation to act upon his passion was made apparent many times. You managed to show Kiyoshi's weaknesses and bloodily ripped them out for people to see.

His strengths don't really shine all that much, though they do show themselves. The most prominent is his dedication, especially to his own idea of purity and his dream. Kiyoshi's skills were mentioned or shown, though not particularly highlighted—he has great body coordination, notable skills with technology, and a commendable cooking ability. It's a bit hard to see, but Kiyoshi also has a sort of childish charm at times that slips through the cracks.

>Interaction With Canon (10/10): It doesn't wreck or affect canon all that much, and happens at a time when Teikoku likely would have sent spies to Kidokawa, so no problem here.

>Relationships With Canon Characters (5/5): It's mostly Kidou, and they share a relationship I see as something that wouldn't be off. Kidou maintains an attitude towards him that is like most Teikoku subordinates, while the crush that Kiyoshi has doesn't seem to far of a stretch considering his status and charm.

Kiyoshi's relationship with Kageyama isn't expanded much, but it can be seen that he has a pretty... typical relationship with the man. It is not odd, rather it is something that is reasonable given Kageyama's notorious reputation. Kiyoshi seems to see him as the blood-stained path that would lead him to his dream, the evil benefactor that offers him his deepest desire. He sees that Kageyama is shady, and Kiyoshi seems like he does not want to concern himself with the Coach anymore than he has to, but he is willing to put those aside for football.

[Raw] 74.6/100 + 47/50 [Scaled] 88.7/100 [Final] 88.7%

Banner by -artxyuki

[lachalaine]

🔮? :o i love tarot sm...

TAROT READING WITH LADY J🔮

not accepting

1. THE PRESENT MOMENT / THE PRIMARY CONCERN

Card: King of Swords - Reversed

Summary: Wisdom and Integrity

Meaning: The King of Swords has reached the height of his professional life. A powerful person of esteem, he has honed his ability to control his mind and holds all people to the highest of ideals. His brilliant intellect generates endless energy while his reputation for fairness earns him the trust of others, especially when they are faced with difficult decisions. Though viewed as cold by some of his closest relations, his ability to forecast results and consequences far into the future makes him an indispensable ally. if you’re open to a fair decision ( even if it’s not in your favor ), his counsel will be essential.

Position Meaning: Selfishness, oppression, threat, callousness, stubbornness, scheming

2. THE CAUSE OF THE CHALLENGE AFFECTING CARD 1. A BLOCK.

Card: Temperance XIV - Reversed

Summary: Listening Within 

Meaning: We often look at options from an either or perspective, but Temperance invites us to consider that all things are possible, even when they appear to be at odds. Life is not static and neither are our needs – they vary across a lifetime and across each situation. Through listening and awareness, the universe reveals what your soul truly needs, not just what your ego wants. It’s not as complicated as you make it. If you can put your perceptions and impatience aside, you create space for alchemy. 

Position Meaning: Confusion, disharmony, polarity, excessive caution, competing interests, forced decisions

3. SUBCONSCIOUS INFLUENCES. UNKNOWN INFORMATION. THE DISTANT PAST.

Card: Four of Swords - Upright

Summary: A Quiet Space

Meaning: The Four of Swords is often known as the meditation card. It indicates that you have ( or have just gotten over ) a difficult time and you need to rest, reflect and reconnect with yourself. When we are troubled, our minds play tricks on us, imagining hopeful escapes or tragic demises. Quieting your mind is an act of humility which allows you to enlist divine intelligence - your true voice. It won’t make the problem go away but in the space of stillness, you can bring fresh perspective and invite new ideas to appear.

Position Meaning: An increase in stress, harmful persistence, busyness and activity.

4. THE RECENT PAST. A SITUATION THAT HAS COME TO A CONCLUSION.

Card: Four of Cups - Upright

Summary: Blind Disillusion

Meaning: A man slumps in a corner, brooding over his current situation. What once has satisfied him now brings him boredom and discontent. He wavers between self reflection and disillusionment but is dangerously close to melancholy. As he stews in his emotions, his ability to see another option is clouded. If he can shake the self pity, he will remember he has options and the bounty around him will start to become obvious again. When the Four of Cups appears in your reading, quit focusing on the empty cups. Possibility is closer then you think.

Position Meaning: Disillusionment, self-reflection, listlessness, ennui, emotionally stranded, stagnation, imaginary problems

5. THE PRESENT. CONSCIOUS BELIEFS. CURRENT EVENTS.

Card: Ace of Swords - Upright

Summary: Powerful Clarity

Meaning: As the root of the swords, the Ace brings a great deal of raw power and energy. A sword cuts through the web of scaffolding, holding up all the cloudy pieces of our identity: perceptions, conversations, facts, dreams and ideas. When the Ace of Swords appears in a reading, it means that a rare opportunity for clarity is near. It will cut through these subjective realities, revealing a truth, an insight or a new approach for which you have been waiting.  Pay close attention to your words and thoughts. Knowledge does give you power, but without a little reflection, it can quickly turn into delusion. 

Position Meaning: Mental clarity, a great force at work, a fresh approach, long-term success, determination, ambition

6. THE NEAR FUTURE. A NEW PERSON OR EVENT. A SHIFT IN ENERGY.

Card: The Fountain - Reversed

Summary: Be

Meaning: The Fountain exists outside and beyond the cycles of birth, death, time and form. It is the nameless, changeless source of which everything is a part. It is the waking from the dream of separateness and identity, and the recognition of one’s Self as not only connected to all things, but all things — divine nature. When The Fountain appears in your reading, relinquish all illusion of control, and remain quiet. It invites you to observe, master less, and to just be — effortless and indistinguishable from life. You are the voice and the breath of universes.

Position Meaning: Identification with a role or personality, fear ( of being alone ), mind-obsessed, separation from source, resistance to ( or denial of ) reality

7. YOUR POWER ( OR LACK OF POWER ) IN THE MOMENT. HOW YOU SEE YOURSELF IN THE SITUATION.

Card: Nine of Swords - Upright

Summary: Imagined Misery

Meaning: A man wakes from a nightmare, still caught in the shadows of anxiety. His fears, concerns, and regrets point sharply at him like sinister foes. His thoughts have piled up in his sleep, steeped in worry and doubt, creating a very intimate brand of misery. He can feel the darkness closing in. The Nine of Swords challenges you to sift reality out from the imaginary. Irrational thinking, like dreams, can become cyclical. Deal with the facts and ground yourself in the rational – your peace of mind depends on it.

Position Meaning: Imagined or inflated concerns, worry and anxiety, muddled thoughts, being overwhelmed, a crippling cycle, irrational suffering, sleeping difficulties

8. THE EFFECTS OF PEOPLE AROUND YOU. HOW OTHER PEOPLE SEE YOU IN THE SITUATION.

Card: The Moon XVIII - Reversed 

Summary: Surrender to Darkness

Meaning: A vast ocean of mystery, danger, And illusion stretches out and swells over a pier. above and below, shadows seem to wait and watch. The Moon is the world of the unconscious and It can be both frightening and disorienting. There is nowhere to anchor and everything feels confusing and deceptive, though slightly seductive and familiar. Even time seems to be disappearing, but there is an urgency for you to move or risk being lost here forever. It’s not too late to turn back, but if you truly want freedom, you will brave the current and surrender to the waves of cosmic intuition.

Position Meaning: Instability, impatience, an unwillingness to be truthful, barren stillness, misplaced fantasy

9. YOUR HOPES OR FEARS.

Card: Strength XI - Upright

Summary: Passion Tamed

All humans have both peaceful and fiery energies as part of their design. Left to their own nature, the fiercer qualities can get away from us, creating imbalance in our lives. The Strength card shows a woman caressing a lion – her savage side. She is not interested in ridding herself of it, but rather in turning its gaze, gently and with generosity, towards useful partnership. Combined with her peaceful energies ( and mastered by her courage and inner strength ) the fiery energies come to her assistance, fueling and propelling her objectives to unexpected heights.

Position Meaning: Power through honoring all facets of the self, courage, self-discipline, respect, harnessed energy, transcendence, determination

10. THE MOST LIKELY OUTCOME.

Card: The Hanged Man XII - Upright

Summary: Surrender to Self

Meaning: A pivotal card in the Major Arcana, the Hanged Man has willingly stripped and suspended himself upside down, allowing his view of the world to alter completely. In this spiritual doorway, he relinquishes his ego and mind and experiences a timeless moment glimmer of clarity and enlightenment: his true nature. Calm rests on his face as he merges with the divine, peace that comes from surrender and trust. The realizations he acquires here will stay with him forever and cannot be unlearned.  

Position Meaning: A change in perspective, a committed time of self-examination, sacrifice rewarded by clarity, renouncing old ways of being, surrender of the “the known”, a search for Truth

BONUS CARD: THE CARD THAT PLAYS A ROLE IN THE ENTIRE SITUATION.

Card: The Lovers VI - Upright

Summary: Choosing Love

Meaning: We all have unexplainable moments of knowing or recognizing our Selves in a person or a place intuitively. These moments of love are spiritual, like reuniting with a cosmic twin. They can restore balance and make us feel very happy. Unlike the title might suggest, The Lovers card is not primarily about passion or romance. When these moments of love occur, they are about a choice: follow your head or follow your heart. Love is not always convenient, easy, or painless, but the possibilities that arise from saying “yes” can bring lifelong joy in many areas. Follow your heart and choose love. 

Position Meaning: A choice, transformation, love, fulfillment of desires, a magical union, trust in one’s heart, harmony 

Card: Judgement XX - Upright 

Summary: Reconciliation 

Meaning: Coming to terms with our past changes us and fosters healing. It renews our ability to love purely, flow freely and transcend our struggles. Judgment is a voice calling from deep with you — a distant, yet familiar, invitation. It requires intention and a significant act of bravery: uncovering and arousing the enshrouded memories of your past. If you accept the invitation, they will rise up fully exposed. Now is your best opportunity to face them, forgive them, and move on once and for all. 

Position Meaning: Forgiveness, rejuvenation and healing, an acknowledgement and release of the past, a definitive decision, an altered view, an invitation from within, new purpose.

LADY J READING:

This current reading seems to tell me that there is a bit of conflict in your life at the moment with someone / something in particular. There might have been a sense of you feeling oppressed lately, perhaps by people that have treated you badly, either by their betraying you in some way or them not giving you a space to discuss your concerns to the point that you feel as though you’re on your own with no one to turn to. The path of this reading seems to indicate that all cards will revolve around this particular conflict. 

The root cause of it appears to be a sense of polarity that is keeping you at odds with whoever else is involved. I would say you seem to want one thing in particular, while the other party has goals for something wildly different, and that is causing discordance in your heart and mind. You’re not sure what to make of it and you’re trying to be wary, but it’s definitely pushing you into a position you don’t want to be in and no matter how much you try to think it over and figure things out, it doesn’t appear to be helping. It’s causing you a great deal of stress in the background, and finding a way to quiet your mind is next to impossible at the moment. The more you think about it, the more it hurts your head. But you can’t help it, nor is the increase in activity / responsibly around you helping either. You have no time to yourself to breathe, there’s just too much happening that you can’t quite get a grip on, and it’s overwhelming in its entirety. 

The Four of Cups is your most recent past, which hints at the fact that perhaps you’ve been in a bad state of mind until just recently. There was a great deal of heaviness in your heart, in your mind. You were constantly tired and exhausted and couldn’t quite see the point to anything, a downward spiral, so to speak; and with no strength nor will to break out of it. In that state, perhaps you were even imagining problems that weren’t actually there, further pummeling your peace of mind into the ground. But something has changed most recently that has brought you out of that troubled state. Clarity in a way, it seems, the dawning of a much needed epiphany that has snapped you out of your despair. The imagined concepts that have held you back in the past have shattered, whilst a new realization has prompted and fueled your drive and desire to change things. It’s brought you back to life in a way that indicates you’ve figured out what it is you really want, and you’ve figured out a new approach, a new means of how to reach it. Your mind is centered, and you’re ready. 

However, the future appears as a reversed Fountain card, which shows that perhaps you are too centered on achieving your goals that you’re going about it too intensely. The Fountain card at its core encourages one to let things flow, let life bring you where it should and do not control that which is beyond our means. However, the one drawn is reversed, which shows that you may be so focused on the possibility success that if - knock on wood - a failure does occur, you seem likely as though you would refuse to accept it, as distraught and disappointed as you’d be after all you’d done to guarantee that things would work out. There is a lot of fear associated with this, perhaps because failure would result in the potential of solitude on your part ( though that is a wild guess ). Regardless, the Fountain card wishes to advise you to take a step back and allow for the possibility that anything is possible - success, and failure. Attempting to control things as much as you would like to will bring you nowhere. Sometimes, it’s important to try your best, and in the end, if things don’t work out, accept it for what it is and allow yourself to just Be. If it’s meant for you, it will happen - you can’t force it, ever.

The way you see yourself at the moment seems to state that you’re in a bit of a depressed, somewhat anxious state right now, despite your determined intentions to achieve your goals. Your mind seems to be feeding your fears with a plethora of worst case scenarios, the potential of your plans falling through causing some severe anxiety that leaves you with absolutely zero peace of mind. It can’t stop, won’t stop. It’s too much, it’s overwhelming, a lot of your fears seem to be even not real. I wouldn’t say you’re overreacting, but I would say that these imagined fears are taking a lot out of you and only screwing things up even more. It’s turning into something of an emotional bomb where if it explodes, will leave absolute destruction in its aftermath. This card encourages you to please try to take a step back to breathe and try not to draw back into that cyclical state of despair. It only makes things worse. Please be kinder to yourself and try your best to calm your mind. That is the most important thin more then anything. It will help you, I promise. 

In connection to the Fountain card is the Moon card, which shows that other people seem to think you’re deluding yourself a bit :c You have your goals and you have the drive to achieve them, but the people around you feel that your goals are perhaps not quite realistic enough and you’re running from the truth. They seem to think you are impatient, a little bit unstable, and forcing the situation too much to be what you want it to be, even though it couldn’t be farther from the truth. I would imagine that the combination of all your most intense hopes and fears getting shoved into one bucket ( your mind ) is rapidly creating an illusion that is a little too ‘perfect’ to be real. It’s intense, and it’s severe, and you’re perhaps not taking the reality of certain things into consideration. The Moon invites you to stop running, look back over what the Truth is, and listen to what it says. No one can force you to do this, but if you wish to gain genuine knowledge that will benefit you, you will achieve it by allowing the Moon to illuminate the entire picture and showcase it for what it is - rather then leaving it all shrouded in mystery and imagination. 

Your hopes are showcased through the Strength card, which indicates that you’re hoping that by powering through as you have, being determined as you have - you will achieve your goals. You are trying to harness the fierceness that lays within you to achieve what you utmost desire. However, your most likely outcome, despite all of that – seems to be that you will finally come to terms with the Truth. The Hanged Man shows that you will have an epiphany of sorts, sooner rather then later. You will come to consider another perspective, you’ll be able to take a step back and look at things from another point of view; sacrificing your intense need for success so that you can allow room for clarity. It won’t be what you’re used to, and maybe not even something you’ll initially like as you’ve been fighting against it all this while. But it is what is needed - if only so that you are not shattered by the potential of the end results. You will achieve happiness eventually, but another kind that is different from what you currently want. You just need to be open to the possibility of it. 

The Bonus Cards that showed up in your reading are two: The Lovers and Judgement. These cards play an active role in the entire situation, and starting with the Lovers, it appears to be that the card is advising you that in all things to do with this situation, please always attempt to follow your heart. Follow your intuition, follow that which gives you peace. It feels like there’s a lot of high emotion running amok in terms of this conflict at the moment that your heart feels at war with your head. I think in terms of guidance, it only asks of you to stop thinking too much. Do what feels right for you, it will help calm the flurry of overwhelming emotions that trouble you so much. You need to trust yourself. Though it might not feel like the most convenient option at first, nor the best path to take in any sense of the word, it seems as though it may be for the best in the long run. Nothing best promotes inner harmony like listening to your own instincts and doing what is best for your inner peace, responsibility be damned. You have the choice – choose what feels best for You. 

Judgement as the final card invites you to do but just one thing: come to terms with your reality, and accept the truth when it comes. A lot of the conflict appears to come from emotions that were not reconciled in the past, and it requests that you put those old feelings to rest. You have yet to heal, and your holding tight to those old struggles is what clouds your judgement on how you are to proceed today. Let them go, and perhaps it will leave space for clarity to take place. Forgiveness is healing, forgiveness will help you make the decisions you need based on what is currently set before you, not on what has formerly concluded. It will give you the facts that you need so you know how best to proceed. It will invite you to not only look at things differently, but also change your current purpose; for the better. It will help promote inner piece for you, but only if you Let It. 

// @tcpdog