#knowing i'll never be that? i'll never be what anyone wanted? knowing that nobody wants me? refusing to be wanted?
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gohyemi · 2 days ago
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his miss butterfly
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" Wonwoo ah~" Y/N skipped happily toward him. He smiled and opened his arms for her. She ran into his embrace and hugged him tightly. They both laughed and enjoyed the moment. Well, that is what she imagined, though.
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"Oh Lord, not again..."Wonwoo mumbled. Beside him, Mingyu let out a small chuckle and patted his back. Wonwoo shook his head. Her head was already pounding, thinking what kind of shenanigans she had today. 
"What a lovely girl you have... I'll see you in the gym this evening, bro." Then he left his bestfriend alone with Y/N.
"Lovely, my foot" Taehyung smiled sarcastically, but it faded as he looked at Y/n. He knew what was coming and wasn't ready for it. He took a deep breath and braced himself for the conversation to come.
She grins sheepishly, "I was asked by my mother to give you this," she showed a small box of cookies, "but I wanted to make special cookies for you, not her hand-made..." and continued. She opened the box to show the homemade cookies she had made. "I hope you-.”
"Thanks." He didn't even let her end her speech about the cookies. He fastly make his way to his class leaving her there.
Y/n is always happy, always making the whole school feel like there's a floating flower everywhere, a positive-thinking and smart girl, too. But Wonwoo believes she's just another annoying girl who gives him a headache and suddenly enters his quiet and peaceful world. He immediately disliked her when they first met and tried to keep his distance. But no matter how hard he tried, Y/n always found a way to him. 
In the end, Wonwoo couldn't help but admit she did have a special charm. Also, thanks to his father, Y/n is his fiance. This is despite their father being a best friend since college, living as a neighbor, a window mate, and now a fiance. Yes, typical childhood lover. 
Wonwoo just could not reject his father's proposal to be her fiance. Since they were children, Wonwoo was never close to her. He always does his best to avoid her, but living next door just makes it impossible for him to do so. Especially when their window face each other.
"It's choco chip, your favorite!" she shouted, making most of the people in the hall stop for a second to look at them both, seeing that Wonwoo had fastened his pace to avoid the crowd. Wonwoo blushed and smiled, but he quickly hid it, not wanting anyone to see it. As time goes by, Wonwoo starts to like her stubbornness and the effort she makes to have his attention. He doesn’t know why at first he was disgust by the fluttering feels he got but eventually he use to it.
" Crazy girl," Wonwoo muttered.
Y/n smiled fell for a moment after he already out of sight. As always, she tried to win his heart, but he never opened up. If he doesn't like her, why? She sometimes questions why he agreed to the engagement. Y/n has liked Wonwoo since their family moved. Being his neighbor, Wonwoo doesn't enjoy making friends with anyone, especially with the girls, except for Mingyu. Mingyu is an introvert collector kind of person, ends up being his best friend.
" Did you already give up?" someone asked from behind. Y/n turned around to see her best friend, Hana, standing there. Instantly, her smile returned.
She grinned eagerly. "Hell, I'm not!"
"Good, I want you to be my sister-in-law, and nobody can change that", Hana stated. And yes, she's Wonwoo's sister, twin sister.
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-nighttime-
"Seriously, bro, I can't stand her anymore; she just- too much", Wonwoo whined on the phone call, laying down on his bed with his small towel hanging on his neck.
“Then why have you agreed to be her future husband, Wonwoo shii~" Mingyu replied,
" I-I don't know" He shifted to lay on his side, his gaze thrown to his bedside table where the box of cookies she blabbered excitedly about this morning. Slowly, he got up from his bed to grab that box. She decorated it with blue ribbon along with a sticky note that read, 'hope this makes your tummy tickle’.
Her actions sometimes made his day. He opened the box and saw the stars-shaped cookies, his favorite shape. He smiled and felt warmth in his heart.
"Bittery, maybe you feel disturbed because you look at her like all those girls out there. Maybe opening up a bit, give the key to that locked heart and let her enter it. She knows the limit. Don't you worry; I believe after that it will make you feel tickled by those butterflies she sent," Mingyu advised.
Wonwoo look at the sticky note hearing Mingyu
Wonwoo walked to his curtain and opened it a little to peek outside, and there is his view, Y/n. He sees her trying to grab the book on her shelf that she placed higher than she was able to reach. 
‘Why would she place it there if she can’t reach it?’ he mumbled
 A few books fell after she stepped on the wrong side, hitting her head. Wonwoo let out a small snort, entertained by her clumsiness. "Stupid," he whispered.
"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?" shouted Mingyu.
"Not you, stupid."
Wonwoo reconsidered his best friend's words. Sometimes, he felt a little butterfly looking at her, but he quickly said it was just a disgusting feeling. “Whatever, back to the topic. She's a nice girl, Bittery. I can guarantee you she can make you the happiest guy after this," said Mingyu.
Y/n seems to notice some light on the other side of her window. She looked outside and saw Wonwoo standing there, seemingly having a conversation over the phone but looking at her. Despite the butterflies in her stomach, her heart was racing, and she raised her hand triumphantly, waving at him with her usual smile.
Likewise, Wonwoo feels again those tingling caused by her action, and his body starts feeling the same way he described before, disgusted but somehow good. He let out a big sigh.
“Well, Mingyu, I think you're right. Maybe I should give it a try. Talk to you later" 
“Wait wha-” Before Mingyu could respond, He hung up. Wonwoo still maintained eye contact with her. He cautiously and slowly waves back to her.
"Oh my god..." Y/n cupped his mouth and gasped. His action just now was the first time in her life that she had seen such a thing. It never Wonwoo to respond to anything that she do, not even when she spill the drink onto him that one day. But now is just different that making her feel overwhelmed.
She didn't even realize her tears had started falling. Wonwoo saw it and started to panic. He signaled from afar, asking if she was all right. But she abruptly closed her curtain, feeling embarrassed at the time, and she quickly took out her phone to message him. "I'm okay. That book hit my head and hurt my head a bit; I hope it's not going to bleed.” Along with emoji thumbs up.
Wonwoo looked at his phone notification that came from her. After he read the message, he noticed Y/n sticking out only her hand from the window showing a thumbs up.
He let out a sigh and chuckled. "Oh boy, I hope this was a smart decision." He felt that this was going to be a roller-coaster ride, but at least he was going to try. Maybe accepting her future wife will not be a bad decision at all
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revive-the-fandom · 2 days ago
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favorite rotg theory?
I honestly forgot most of the theories bc I disagree with most of them tbh. imo most fan theories tend to overcomplicate or villainise/de-villianise characters while completely missing the point.
but this is a positive question so i'll try my best lmao
I think my favourite is probably that Jack lost his memories not because of the Man in the Moon, but because he died. Whether that be because of a resurrection, or because of trauma induced amnesia.
Although, tbh, my personal (related) theory is that Jack never even died in the first place. If we look at his first scene, we can see him let out a breath as soon as he leaves the water
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if he'd died of drowing, he'd have to cough up all the water he'd inhaled, or at least not have anything breath left to exhale.
(also, interesting that his breath in this scene is always misty, like its warm. and is like that for multiple breaths, so not necessarily "the last warm breath he had left in him" since he's continuously exhaling warmth. which also implies that Jack is warm-blooded, not cold or undead, but alive.
I'm realising now that I have a lot of theories... idk man, it's kinda hard to pick a favourite when you could debate every point with the same enthusiasm.)
then compare this scene to his memory of falling through the ice
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it's so quick for a drowning, which are notoriously fast. Google suggests it takes 3 minutes to drown, which this is well under.
and yes, this is possibly just a cinematic verison of events, sped up for the viewers sakes.
however, what if it's not. what if Jack entered the water, the Man in the Moon saw it, knew that no one in this time period was going to be able to save him, and just sort of put him on pause. suspended animation, if you will, so that he had time to save him as best he could.
This theory is also part of my "the Man in the Moon did nothing wrong" movement.
What evidence do we have that the Man in the Moon has enough power to do anything more than he already does? What evidence do we have that the Man in the Moon didn't drain his powers saving Jack?
The only time in the entire movie that we know he actually, audibly spoke to anyone on Earth was the very beginning where Jack says he told him his name. And even that wasn't audible to the audience! Only Jack heard that, so potentially he could be restricted by any number of things - only being able to speak through mental connections, only to his "creations" or "beneficiaries", only through abstract thoughts.
If we throw GoC into the mix
(which nobody has to, but I like to. I've been vagued before about forcing other people to accept GoC as canon, but I'm not trying to do that and never was. I just like it and want to use it as my canon.)
then we can play with the timeline a little, as GoC canonincally happens "some decades" before the steam train is invented: The steam train is invented in 1784 so GoC probably takes place in around the 1740s.
Jack is 300 ish in 2012, so his "birthday" is probably around 1712. So he was around well before the Guardians even existed (or, well, the group was formed at least. GoC Manny, Bunny and Sandy are millenia old, North is in his twenties/thirties probably and Tooth is a bit of a mystery, so..).
Which means that the Man in the Moon resurrected Jack before Pitch was even woken by Nightlight, and he was presumed dead.
The Man in the Moon only ever communicates through specific mirrors (actually I think they were gongs but basically it functions like a window) in GoC, except for book 5 where they physically go to the moon - but book 5 is weird and breaks the RotG canon so I don't count it - which also lends itself to this theory that the Man in the Moon expended his power resource before GoC. So he couldn't talk to Jack more than he had. Jack would have needed to go find one of these mirrors (one is in the Lunar Lamadry in the Himalayas, I believe on top of Mt Everest????).
GoC also sets the Man in the Moon up to be kind but incredibly distant and unsocialised. He was raised on the moon by his parent's robot servants and only interacted with Earth through their technology. To him being alone is just his normal, so he probably doesn't see Jack's isolation as a that big of a deal.
anyway, sorry that got a bit out of hand. Here are some honorable mentions for theories that I like:
Jack is descended from Katherine and Nightlight (yes this breaks the GoC/RotG canon I just established - this would have to be a different timeline to that)
Jamie is descended from Jack's Sister
Jack's Sister is named Mary (technically confirmed to be true by Joyce - I like the nickname Molly for Mary)
Baby Tooth was granted free will by Jack naming her & will develop & grow more now that she's no longer a part of the collective (I think this originated with @drowningostrich but I'm not sure)
Mother Nature is friends with all nature/element/seasonal spirits including Jack and Bunny
There's a fuck ton of other spirits out there who have their own society that Jack was just largely on the outskirts of (not necessarily an outcast, but more like a forgotten aspect)
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skunkes · 8 months ago
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edit: ive updated dis post with links to the brushes i made, pls check reblogs ^_^
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lazylittledragon · 11 months ago
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detransition is something that should Absolutely be talked about but the idea of going into this tag terrifies me beyond belief
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moopbox · 25 days ago
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do u ever feel alive but not...
like ur body is alright n stuff but ur mind...isn't... I don't FEEL alive... its like I'm distant from me... I'm not here... I can feel my limbs I can feel the blood going through me I can feel everything that I've ever hurt.. I can breathe...I can see.. i can write these words down....but I'm just not. just not here my head is fuzzy,parts of me hurt..idk..
more in tags...
#moop talks#vent#Vent tw#I don't even know at this point#This isn't poetry or anything it's just what I feel rn.. I don't like that#I never really few alive anymore.. I keep going because death = bad and scary and my parents won't like me dead#It all boils down to being about surviving the day... nothing else... I feel good I feel bad.. but nothing changes#I don't want to live i don't want to die... I just sometimes wish I just wasn't there#Then nobody would love me and nobody would know me and nobody would need me and I wouldn't disappoint anyone#I'm just some meat puppet to a weird chemical reaction and I'm forced to know about that.. I'm forced to watch myself age and get sick..#I'll eventually rot and die.. not contributing anything in a way that matters... I'm repulsed by sex.. so likely no offspring#And IF I EVEN did have kids they'd inherent my families eyesight and diabetes risc and possibly anxiety and whatever my dad and grandma hav#Come to think of it.. I'm screwed when my parents eventually die and I'm forced to fend for myself... what do I even do other than“draw gud#AND I DONT EVEN DRAW GOOD ENOUGH TO GET ANYWHERE WORTHWHILE#I shouldn't even feel like this... I have parents.. I have a roof above my head.. I have the stuff needed to live ok.. Im not even 16 yet .#People out there are dieing and fuckin MOOPSIE over here is sulking about “feeling bad :( ”#I wish I could get therapy tbh... but I don’t think I'd be able to convince my parents without saying too much#I wish I could just be normal and feel ok and survive till adulthood than have sex and offspring than die feeling ok
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ame-to-ame · 3 days ago
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#I don't want to get attached I don't want to like anyone I can't lose anyone i care about anymore I don't want to lose anyone anymore#i tell myself that if i try to make myself really busy if i try really hard and i talk to more people and meet new people maybe I'll stop#maybe I'll forget it maybe I'll be too busy to feel anything and i work myself to the bone and i barely have time for anything anymore#and still. still.#still in the dead of night i hate myself for feeling like this why won't it go away#logically yeah you can't control how you feel only what you do about it logically ik i shouldn't beat myself up for this#love shouldn't be scary or something like that. my friend tells me i should put my heart out there. but god. god.#i love my friends. and i really really cared deeply about the people i had around me. I've betrayed how i felt before just to. keep them.#i don't want to lose. anyone i care about again. I can't take it. I can't risk it. and so i hope. that nobody i care about. ever likes me.#and i hope that whenever i feel anything that it will go unnoticed and it will pass. please. please. please.#i know unfortunately that i wear my heart on my sleeve but if i never try to figure it out i hope that everyone else turns a blind eye to it#i know it's obvious sometimes. i wish it weren't. hopefully it goes away soon again.#it's not worth it. it wasn't worth it. but I'd rather lose 20 lbs and go through the hospital again than lose someone i love#just because the lines got a little blurry and i cared a little too much#and also bc unfortunately i seem like. a good person to date. i promise i can be a good friend but. it's v different isn't it.#im used to the stress and misfortune i deal with and i try my best to make the bad things going on only entertainment and never a burden#i can maintain space in friendships where that's possible but. it's inevitable to see part of what i have to deal w if u hang around enough#hh. sometimes i feel like im too. unclean. to possibly be able to. have something nice. i want something nice but id just feel bad.#you deserve someone less weathered. someone more untouched by the mishaps in life. someone fresh and clean.#it wasn't something i could control. and it isn't fair. and i wish i were unchanged and untouched but. it is what it is.#白纸就该配白纸。谁又能真的出淤泥而不染呢。我也没法幸免。#im so tired. im so tired. it will pass.#being on the aspec is hard but at least thankfully I don't think i physically can do romance anymore. at least. not as long as. yeah.#anything that puts me back into the context of my ex anyone anything who has any association w my ex. immediately. makes me lose any capabi#it sounds bad and ik it's not healthy but im thankful. im grateful. I can't do it. I can't do it and that's good#delete later#tw sa#tw health
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nexus-nebulae · 6 months ago
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i feel like half of my posts are just hidden from other people's dashes bc like 80% of what i post is just not seen by anyone
#and i hate feeling like im begging for attention#i hate making posts like this#its just i get. really scared. like im either doing something wrong or i just suck or im not fun#i hate feeling alone and isolated it's. one of my worst fears#and i don't know what to do in these situations#i hate feeling like i have to constantly remind people i exist at all it scares the hell out of me#but also i feel horrible and stupid for just crying about nobody liking my stupid fucking posts#i don't use any other social media this is the only place i interact with people so this is kind of all i get#and i started posting more bc i thought maybe if i just do that I'll get something#but it feels like every note i get is solely for that one popular post i have and nothing else#i dont like. need comments or reblogs just like. idk. seeing the 0 notes makes me feel invisible like i never posted#i feel like exactly 5 people ever interact with me and even then it's only on a few posts#am i doing something wrong? did i break some unspoken rule i didn't know about again? i don't know#am i just annoying#i#i just#we've been so so blurry lately and we keep begging for people to talk to us so we don't forget our system completely#because we don't keep track of this stuff without external motivation so we need to talk about ourselves to someone#we lost our only system irl bc they turned out to be a predator and now we have nobody to talk about system stuff to#i just . want a friend to talk to#i just want to talk to anyone
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ultramarine-spirit · 8 months ago
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I'm sorry, Mari, I know you don't want to talk about it anymore, but why is it so problematic to repost other photos? I feel like one of the biggest reasons people do it is because they don't know why. I understand that you can't publish images of chapters that have to be paid for like webtoon or merch (although I don't know why either) but wmmap has already ended years ago so I don't understand what the problem would be.
Yeah, it's as you've said, firstly, because most of it is paid content. That's why you'll see that manhwa accounts on Twitter almost always post proof of them having purchased the chapters. Secondly, because this fandom has a huge reposting problem in general (art, fics, translations, edits, etc). For "regular" pictures I have less of an issue, but if it's "exclusive" content, I feel like I'm already edging the line of what is respectful to publish/leak. Yes, there are hundreds of illegal uploads of the manhwa, but that's not something I wanna promote. I wanna encourage people to support the author. Spoon has also spoken about this a bunch of times. But I guess some people might disagree with my stance.
Let me put it like this. When I stay up until 5am to watch a Chinese stream and get news about the donghua, and people immediately repost the pictures without keeping my @, it's tiring. When I spend my own money to attent Spoon's art class (at 3am), take notes, work with Japanese and Chinese fans/friends to provide English fans a translation and summary, and people immediately repost it without asking, it makes me wonder why I even bother. The last thing I want is to sound all "oh, woe is me" though, that's why I haven't spoken about this many times (I believe this is the second time in 4 years I bring it up).
For pictures that have translated content (such as what Lithi does), I think it's way worse, because you are basically "stealing" their labor without any credit. Fan translators already operate in a grey area, legally speaking. There has been a lot of drama in the fandom around this subject, and in general, translators hate to see their work reposted. Most of them have deleted their translations because of this (Ever wonder why you can't find fan TLs of the novel very easily anymore? Lithi has also deleted a bunch of her novel posts and I don't blame her). Sure, reposting a single picture/page might not be big deal, but this has happened a million times.
And then there are instances when people straight up copy posts word for word, pic for pic, which is just kinda annoying/comes across as clout-chasing. Not reposting other people's posts is kind of online etiquette.
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moe-broey · 9 months ago
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It is so fucking dire. My dream. Of Summer Sharena. Over. Sniped. By my most hated banner of all fucking time. I have so many problems. This is going to be torture. Crafted for me, specifically. She is undeniably adorable. A duo w Veronica is undeniably adorable. This is like a Saw trap to me. I'm dying in a fucking Saw trap right now.
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starpros-sunshine · 1 year ago
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I used to be funny you know? I used to have good humour and now every time I try to crack a joke I just feel awkward like I could've gotten that one delivered so much better. Smitten with the curse of not being able to be serious while also being horrible at being silly. If you ask me I'd rather be smitten with other curses but such is life I suppose.
#people say I'm funny but when have I ever made anyone genuinely laugh is the question you know?#it's horrible when most of your idols are comedians or well rather actors that got famour through comedy and fictional characters who are#just funny in their own way and it's one of the most desirable qualities in a person don't you know#a good sense of humour is very important it's just a shame I don't really have it#I wish I knew how to make people laugh I really do#I'd hate to be boring on top of all my pthwr personality deficits#the awkwardness I can live with the theatrics I can accept and the lame humour i don't like but what other choice remains#but boring no I don't want to be boring#nobody ever talks about me though and I don't like that#not even negatively#i hate that i really do#everyone just thinks I'm nice I'm just nice and nothing else I'm a footnote in a world full of interesting people I'm the nice one#that you don't have an opinion on except “nice''#thats why I'd be happy about anon hate to an extent because that means someone thought about me#i always think about how once I'm dead I'll just vanish and I don't want that#i want to leave /something/ in this world I don't want to live my life being an afterthought and then be forgotten in death#i don't even mind being lame but I just don't want to be nothing#my head hurts again I should stop thinking ugh this is what happens when you sit in silence for too long#oh i don't know I guess it really is just the fact that when you constantly look at the stars and want to reach their light it's hard#to deal with the way that you're stuck on the ground and will never even get close no matter how hard you try#but such is life I suppose there's no use in lamenting the spilled milk#delete later
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double--cross-d · 4 months ago
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#vent#I think the reason I've been so hesitant to share my art or be satisfied with it is because#no one really likes it#I mean I get likes and the occasional comment but the only reblogs I ever get are from myself and one other person#And I get that I'm creating for myself and it's rude to ask people to reblog but#do you know how demotivating it is to see a reblog get more notes than your art?#to see fan works made in under an hour get more attention than stories you've spent months crafting?#God I know I'm fucking evil for wanting just a little attention but I'm just tired#I haven't even posted art of my newest characters because I know nobody would give a shit#I've been stalling on posting a story for a year because I just can't find the motivation because no one would care#I see artists I follow and look up to post their personal stories and get so many notes and asks about it#enough to make their own ask blogs and comics and get fan art#but when I post my own stories I get like 5 notes at max#I'm just so sick of it#Why should I bother showing my art to anyone if no one gives a shit#It'd be better if I just deleted my fucking art blogs because I'm the only one who cares about them at this point#I just want validation that what I'm making isn't complete shit but I'll never get that because no one reblogs anyone that begs#I only have like 3 people to confide in#meanwhile my sister has entire fandoms supporting her projects#I don't know man I don't want to dwell on it but I just can't bring myself to create anymore#my motivation is gone#I shouldn't care this much I know
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strikersin · 7 months ago
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I also just hate that the idea of being delusional could land me in so much hot water down the line, I don't want to be disregarded and sent away. I don't want to lose the kids I don't even have because of someone else's judgement. I just want to paint when I'm 40. I'm probably dealing with enough grief by then and it's just day to day. Trying to live in the moment and do my best
#and i just can't forgive you guys for that... even though it's not real and hasnt happened#i guess maybe what i can't do is forgive mys— was i about to type myself? hold that thought#i was going to say i can't forgive my parents and it's pinging off that very polished shield because i never let myself feel angry about it#in the first place. you know? i skipped straight to acceptance because no amount of bargaining was going to get me out of that situation.#ok. ok. no it's my bad. I'll take whatever comes out of this. <- even this is extremely reductive. i need an echelon of words to regard—#even the subject.#um. but maybe it's actually that I can't forgive myself for being in that position in the first place. for bringing that situation on myself#...#and i can't forgive myself for whatever I will do that will bring about this hypothetical future loss and excursion into pain and loneliness#if i just kept everything to myself and never let anyone in then nobody would ever... i mean nothing like that could ever happen#and that's what I did the first time. extreme isolation. ask me how it went#but sharing nything still feels like <cosmic boom> it's so calculated and careful and... is it? i can't say anything. i can't even look at-#myself.#anything that would upset my dad has to be thrown out the window. anything that would endanger my family is gone. it just. has to be.#my entire me is just... smoke waiting to go up in flames. that's nonsensical#i want to go home. i want to be 5 years old but actually three. and i want my older brother to not be angry with me.#i miss Chiron i miss Paulie i miss... the fluid nature of things. and light. i miss you stupidhead. i want to go home.#anyway ok that's enough for this entry!#but yeah i never could forgive myself if i *brought it on myself* nd more importantly. can't stress this enough. on us#it doesn't even matter if i am crazy if i need help because. that in itself endangers the family. do you see? so i can't have it
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featherymainffins · 9 months ago
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Family is clearly just prolonging my and my mother's misery by forcing me to text her on special occasions and send her gifts, which is giving her false hope that her only boxing bag might come back and endure whatever she decides to take out on it again.
#if it were up to me I'd block her number and never even hear anything about her again#she made her choices and I swear to god i tried to be a good daughter and take them#when university told me that we should try to stay in contact with people in cults because it's much harder to get out without#a support system i tried to take it because of that if nothing else. i told myself that I'll take it. that I'll take it because maybe one#day she'll want out. i tried to.#maybe I didn't try hard enough I don't know. and if that's right then the universe can add it to my endless list of sins which makes me#not a human. the universe can add it to the list of reasons for why I'll never lead a happy life and why I'm better off dead.#that's what I've been told when i was growing up after all.#i tried to but it's just. it's her life or mine. and if she were mean just to me I'd let her take it. if it were just me I'd let her say all#those horrible things to me and I'd stand there and let her punch my limbs until they go numb like i always have#and I'd let her tell me that nobody will ever love me and I'd let her do her invasive checks of my body and I'd let her have those#episodes of searching through my entire room and breaking into my accounts to see if I'm saying anything about her ever to anyone#and calling my doctors and telling them that I'm crazy and not to believe a word i say.#I'd let her do all that as i always have. but she's horrible to my friends and horrible to strangers and it's just too much for me.#I don't want to hear that my friend killed herself in vain and I don't want to hear that you'll never use her name because#'it was just a year before he offed himself so it doesn't count.'#I don't want to hear any of it. i don't want to hear that all my friends hate me and I don't want to hear how horrible they are#and i don't want to hear slurs you use against them and I don't want to hear you say those things about random people you#meet on the street and i don't want to hear you passing moral judgement on strangers because of the way they do their hair#or the way they dress or the way they were born.#I don't want to hear that all my friends with tattoos are rotten and that cancer awaits them as punishment#I don't want to hear any of it. I'm sick of it. i don't want to hear 'youre a censoring bootlicker' whenever i say that i would like you#to tone it down. 'its my opinion. i have a right to free speech.' free speech is not saying that my friends should die.
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teaboot · 4 months ago
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Sometimes at work it's not my place to tell people the things I want to say, and I find I often go home at the end of the rougher days to stand blankly in my shower and tell myself over and over what I wish I could pass on.
This accomplishes very little, and mostly just gives me a tension headache, but through it all I think I've narrowed myself down to a few solid things I'd like to tell people the most.
You can't change people. Not permanently, not for anythig. You can support them, encourage them, love them, give them tools and opportunities and resources, but you can't make them change. They can change themselves if they want to, but they have to want to, and they have to want it for themselves, because they're the only one that's certain to be with them forever.
For better or worse, you make your own choices, and blaming bad choices on others doesn't only work to absolve you of responsibility- it also robs you of control. Because if you say you only did something because I did something, then you arent only shifting blame- you're admitting that you cannot control yourself, that you cannot truly make choices for yourself, that other people can control you- and as long as you truly beleive that, you'll keep facing the same problems over and over. You'll keep letting others dictate your choices, because you'll beleive that they can, and you'll never be free.
White knights on horseback are from fairytales. Nobody can help you if ou're not willing to help yourself. To try, to put the dirty work in, to belive you're worth that effort- Act as though nobody is coming to save you. From a struggle, from pain, from bad relationships, from yourself. And when you do save yourself, because you will, because failure here isn't an option if you want to survive, you'll never find another dragon that can keep you prisoner.
Don't say anything to anyone that you wouldn't want them remembering forever.
Doing the right thing in bad circumstances is hard. It's the hardest thing. But if you make the choice to do that hard thing anyways, despite your fear, you'll go on the rest of your like knowing that you're the sort of person who did something.
The present only seems the hardest because the past I over and the future hasn't happened.
There's so much joy ahead of you, the kind you can't possibly understand until you see it yourself.
The responsibility of consequences is often disguised as the power of permission. "I won't do this if you help me", "I'll work on my anger if you do this for me", "I promised you I'd quit, but can I have just one?". The unspoken question is, "Can it be your fault if this goes badly?"
You cant make someone love you the way you need to be loved. Someone can love you very much and still be bad for you, even if you love them very much in return. Two people can love each other very, very much, and try their very best, and still be wrong for each other.
Sometimes being near to someone changes you, even in good ways, and the people you become don't fit together as well as the people you were.
Caring takes work. Even if it's real. Especially if it's real. And the most important gestures aren't the grand, poetic, songs-and-flowers-and-tears moments; they're getting out of bed even though you don't want to. Paying attention to things you don't enjoy. Scrubbing pans, or opening a window, saying "thank-you", or helping carry groceries into the house. The small things fill the big things- without the small, boring, mediocre things, big things feel hollow.
Thrre is honour and dignity in humble work.
If you are a cruel and spiteful person, then you will find every place you visit to be full of the same cruel, spiteful people. This is not because the world is as cruel as you, but because everywhere you are, you will be disliked. This is the curse that comes with being persistently cruel and spiteful.
If you are a kind and ppsitive person, you will repeatedly encounter kind and positive people, because as they grow familiar with you, they will be happier to have you near. This is the reward of being a kind and positive person.
When splitting paths with loved ones, briefly or forever, aim for your last words to always be "I love you".
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httpsserene · 4 months ago
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𝐡𝐨𝐛𝐛𝐲 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐫 | 𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐨
summary: nobody can keep up with your growing list of hobbies, except fernando.
pairing: fernando alonso x brazilian!fem!reader
content warning: fluff and humor. explicit language.
from, serene: requested by and written for @loomiscorpse 🤍 i promised that i would write this for you in july and i finally found the time to fulfill it! this is how i learned fernando has a back tat. what rock have i been living under? happy reading, babes xxx
(in case i'm m.i.a., there's a category 5 hurricane that's looks pretty serious. i'm probably going to have a power outage. prayers to anyone else in the path of the storm, evacuate if you're on the west coast, and stay safe.)
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⌕ join taglist | upcoming chapters | table of contents ↻
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igstory • yourinstagram just uploaded!
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[caption1; sip and paint with the ladies 👩🏽‍🎨🎨 carmenmmundt kellypiquet][caption2; for my first painting, this is good right?]
alexandrasaintmleux: i'll put it in a gallery 🤩 alexandrasaintmleux: i can't believe i'm friends with the best artist of our time 😌 yourinstagram: alex pleaseee omg 😳🤭 yourinstagram: you realize that means you think i'm better than claude monet right ? alexandrasaintmleux: ,,,second best artist of our time yourinstagram: 😆😆😆
fernandoalo_official: looks beautiful 😍 yourinstagram: you really think so??? fernandoalo_official: yes i like what you did with the colors and brush strokes of course yourinstagram: what detailed compliments meu bem 😂
carmenmmundt: i still don't believe that you've never painted before 🤨 carmenmmundt: you did so well !!!!!! yourinstagram: thank you my love 🥰 yourinstagram: i think i am going to keep painting. it was very fun! carmenmmundt: you should! you're quite good at it :)
instagram • yourinstagram
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liked by heidiberger_, fernandoalo_official, francisca.cgomes and 101,723 others
yourinstagram encontro noturno em cores 🖼️
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user1: ptbr to eng translation "date night in color 🖼️"
user2: wow!!! you improved so much already! have you been taking lessons?
➥ yourinstagram: thank you! the only lessons i'm learning are from youtube haha ➥ yourinstagram: and i have painted every day since i started! ➥ user3: you definitely have a natural talent for this! and a lot of potential!!! ➥ user4: it's taken me years to develop a minimal understanding of color theory and shadows. she's done it in two weeks 😕
user5: i know leonardo hates that he didn't paint this 😩😩😩
➥ user6: he's rolling in his grave for sureeee 🙂‍↕️ ➥ user7: bitch why tf would a ninja turtle be mad about this ☠️ ➥ user8: leonardo DA VINCI YOU UNEDUCATED CUR ➥ user7: my fault forgot the turtle wasn't the only person named leo 🫣🫠 ➥ user8: HOW DO YOU FORGET THE MAN WHO PAINTED THE MONA LISA ⁉️⁉️⁉️
pepemartiofficial: i loved doing art in school! i can teach you a few things if you want 😁😁😁
➥ yourinstagram: you mean primary school? which was like last year for you? i think i'll pass garoto 🥴 ➥ fernandoalo_official: josep maria marti sobrepepa don't piss me off. ➥ fernandoalo_official: test me and you can say goodbye to a formula one seat. ➥ user9: ain't no way pepe just tried to step to fernando's girl who's TEN !!! years older than him ➥ pepemartiofficial: shhh i can be mature for her �� ➥ fernandoalo_official: count your days 🥱
carlossainz55: the painting is really good, you made the water look so realistic!
➥ yourinstagram: obrigada carlitos! ➥ carlossainz55: where's fernando's painting 😈 ➥ yourinstagram: it was very good! but he did not want me to post a photo of it :((( ➥ fernandoalo_official: it was very ugly carlos 🙄 ➥ yourinstagram: it was not that bad i just could not tell that it was supposed to be a tiger and not a house cat that was struck by lightning 😅 ➥ carlossainz55: i will pay to see this painting 🤣🤣🤣
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igstory • astonmartinf1 just uploaded!
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[caption1; admin was just forcibly handed bear coasters ??? she said they remind her of lance 🐻][caption2; the crochet culprit is on to her next project!]
user: lance bear agenda still going strong 💪
lance_stroll: i want bear coasters 😞 astonmartinf1: meet me downstairs, she gave me extras to hand out to the team lance_stroll: she's the best 🤩🤩🤩 lance_stroll: see you in 5?
user: DUDE she's onto clothes already??? how?!!!
user: admin i need you to send me photos of that sketchbook 👺🤲🏻 user: i need her patterns admin i'm not playing around astonmartinf1: lol get blocked loser 💀
instagram • fernandoalo_official
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liked by carlossainz55, lance_stroll, yourinstagram and 234,586 others
fernandoalo_official there is yarn and hooks in my car. this has gone too far.
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yourinstagram: you make a man a shirt with the materials HE bought for you and it's a problem. ungrateful behavior nano 😤
➥ fernandoalo_official: the shirt is very nice i even posed for a picture. all i ask is for no hooks to be left in the cupholders? ➥ yourinstagram: can we compromise and i leave them in the glove box 🥺
user10: let me get this straight: you crochet for a month and suddenly you become a fashion designer?
➥ yourinstagram: not a month, three weeks* i have been crocheting ➥ user11: oh fuck off- how are you good at everything 😩😩😩 ➥ yourinstagram: i am not! and i still cannot make a granny square no matter how hard i try to ☹️ ➥ user12: you don't need to know how to make a granny square when you can make actual pieces of clothing!!!
landonorris: may i have something crocheted too?
➥ yourinstagram: what would you like landinho 😊 ➥ landonorris: may i have a beanie? or a sweater?? ➥ georgerussell: ooooh i'd like a beanie too! ➥ francisca.cgomes: i want that top you're wearing! or something similar!!!! ➥ lance_stroll: what about earmuffs? ➥ lilymhe: a cardigan would be so nice ➥ charlesleclerc: i want a sweater!!! ➥ fernandoalo_official: leave her alone you greedy children 👹 ➥ yourinstagram: ignore him! text me what you all want with inspiration photos and i will let you know!!!
messages • sebastian -> fernando
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igstory • yourinstagram just uploaded!
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[caption1; hobby update >>>][caption2; to the woman at the craft store who put me onto oil paints...you saved my life][caption3; the wag crochet requests are almost finished!][caption4; first pottery class! had a really fun time :)]
user: i-i need to sit down👄 user: how do you even have time to do all of this?
user: i feel like i've never taken my hobbies seriously after seeing this
user: ffs how long have you been doing pottery? user: it's hard to learn at first but it's worth it if you stay committed 🫶🏽
instagram • yourinstagram
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liked by charlesleclerc, lilymhe, francolapinto, and 192,037 others
yourinstagram que divertido! thrown, painted, and fired by me 🌸
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user13: this is a reminder that there's always somebody out there doing what you love better than you 😒
➥ user14: wasn't she JUST at her first pottery class? and she already has a set of dishware 😨
user15: i feel like i have to apologize for even attempting pottery
user16: i would hate to give my gift after her on birthdays and christmas 😬😬😬
➥ user17: valid take. she can make custom clothes, paintings, and ceramics??? i might as well not even show up 🤦🏻‍♀️
kellypiquet: where do you even find the time to do this?
➥ yourinstagram: i have not slept for more than five hours in a very long time. it also distracts me when nano is away so, i keep myself busy. ➥ kellypiquet: please take better care of yourself! the clay will be there after you sleep and i'm sure fernando would like you to sleep too. ➥ fernandoalo_official: 8 hours at least mi amor ❤️ ➥ yourinstagram: fiiiiine 😞
lance_stroll: bring the domino set next time! i want to learn how to play!!!
➥ yourinstagram: i will make you cry if we play dominoes 🤫
user18: you need to start an etsy shop or smth? i think anybody would buy something from you!
➥ yourinstagram: if i do that, i'm afraid it would stop being a hobby and become a job. i don't want to lose the love i have for them :) user19: you could do limited releases? or just list a few items at a time? yourinstagram: i guess that's true. i don't think i will though, i didn't start my hobbies to make money. it's just fun for me 😁
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igstory • fernandoalo_official just uploaded!
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[caption; onto the next obsession]
user: damn you didn't lie about the entire botantical collection 😧 user: she's crazy user: i respect her grind though
user: and she made them look like actual boquets 😍 user: why didn't i think of that???
yourinstagram: they are not obsessions. yourinstagram: the proper term is hobby, we have talked about this nano 😒 fernandoalo_official: do you want the vespa or the bonsai…🤨 yourinstagram: both por favor! and get the porsche 911 kit while you are there 😚😚😚😚😚😚
user: she crocheted her own cover up dress user: i love women 🙂‍↕️
instagram • yourinstagram
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liked by fernandoalo_official, kellypiquet, landonorris, and 317,940 others
yourinstagram um hobby? ok. quatro hobbies ao mesmo tempo? não repita meus erros 🤕
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user20: ptbr to eng translation "one hobby? ok. four hobbies at the same time/once? do not repeat my mistakes 🤕"
➥ user21: thank u translator woman ➥ user22: thank u translator woman ➥ gabrielbortoleto_: thank u translator woman ➥ user24: one of these things is not like the others 🧐
landonorris: can't wait till it gets chilly in monaco 😌
➥ landonorris: the only thing i'm going to be photographed in is my crochet beanie and sweater ➥oscarpiastri: i'm surprised you're not wearing it now since you're perpetually cold ➥ landonorris: i didn't want to bring it in my luggage in case it's the time i lose my luggage 🤓 ➥ oscarpiastri: wow…that's smart ➥ landonorris: why do you sound so surprised 🤨
lilymhe: i see you learned how to make granny squares 😆
➥ yourinstagram: it took me three whole days to make one 🤧 ➥ lilymhe: damn 💀 ➥ yourinstagram: i am not lying when i say making that first granny square was harder than making your cardigan 😮‍💨
fernandoalo_official: is it weird if i feel proud of you?
➥ yourinstagram: i think it is something to be proud of :) ➥ fernandoalo_official: well i am very proud of you mi amor 😘 ➥ yourinstagram: 🥰😚😚❤️❤️❤️
user25: those paintings!!!! woah, you're like a serious artist now 😨😳😱
➥ user26: fr! you can see her own unique style clearly in these! ➥ yourinstagram: you all are too sweet! it took me a while to switch from reference painting into creating my own art pieces! ➥ alexandrasaintmleux: i wasn't joking when i said i want to put your work in a gallery 🤭🥱 ➥ yourinstagram: alex pleaseee 😖
user28: what are you going to do next? book binding LMAO
➥ yourinstagram: you are right! nano is out buying the supplies for me now 😁 ➥ user28: i was joking 😟 ➥ yourinstagram: and after that i think i am going to learn how to make a cute scrapbook!
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© httpsserene - do not repost. photos used are from pinterest.
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scallisaac · 2 years ago
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#i usually put this kind of stuff in the drafts so you don't need to read it. go ahead if you want i don't care just like. don't respond lol#but this is just for me to vent publicly so it feels like the thoughts went somewhere#my sister's best friend's mom just got put in hospice and they say she has about 3 more days#and i could hear my little sister bawling when my mom told her and it's breaking my heart#they're barely teenagers they're too young for this#and my mom's trying to write an email to the father and she can't fucking do it. i wanna help but she doesn't want any which i get#i can hear my sister either giggling or crying in her room right now i can't tell which but it sounds more like laughing. i hope it is#my mom and my sister are going to do to the hospice room to say goodbye to her i think tomorrow#and i really just want to be able to hang out with my sister bc i know it's gonna be really scary for her after but i have to work#if one person complains about their problems to me at work tomorrow i'm gonna get fucking fired for what i do next#that's probably not true but i'm gonna feel like it#i don't know this woman but i know my sister loves her and my mom is friends with the father so i mean i'm not really grieving but they are#and i wish i knew what to do#at least this was somewhat expected like she was in the later stages of her cancer but i don't think anyone was thinking it would happen no#i don't know if i should post this. i want to because i have so many posts like this in my drafts and it never makes me feel any better#but i don't like sharing ultra personal stuff like this especially about other people even if nobody knows who i am#i'll post it for now but i'll delete it later. i just need it to be out there a little bit so there's proof it exists#i think this is something i should be adding trigger tags for?#tw cancer#tw death#tw grief#shut up hanna
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