#know the signs

[r-e-d-g-h-o-s-t]

[womenvoices]

Because this wasn’t taken seriously enough, four people are dead, at least nine injured, and many more grieving and traumatized.

Honor with action. Know the signs.

[secretunicorn]

PLEASE READ AND REPOST THIS

Uk 999

USA 911

[eternalsailormom]

Make sure the therapy is actually therapy and not ABA in disguise. You want your kid to get therapy, not training on how to mask

[enki2]

[your-heart-is-a-treasure]

You are burning. 

And what burns you is love or it is fire.

[psychicuniiverse]

What does "I love you more than you know" mean?

It means they currently feel unappreciated and possibly emotionally neglected/dismissed by you, and that causes them pain because of how much they care about you. They may have made sacrifices for you that they feel you either haven't realised they've made or failed to grasp the enormity of, or they may simply have idealised affections for you which they never act upon.

It's both a charmingly, hopelessly romantic thing to say, and frankly a little passive aggressive/manipulative. The statement implies undertones of an unresolved frustration, dissatisfaction and perhaps even anger, resentment indirectly targeted at you for your inability (or what they perceive as your inability) to appreciate their feelings for you the way they would like you to. In extreme cases, it involves being annoyed at you for failing to read their mind or 'the obvious signs' of their feelings towards you.

[chucklewizard]

Know the signs of a Wizard

Stray Mac and cheese bits are a great way to know a Wizard has been in your area

[top10trucks]

made this goblin thing. if you even care.

[qoslaw]

This post is a good reminder about the signs of narcissistic and manipulative people who use that basic human need for positive attention to harm.

Silence IS a form of weapon as quoted here in a CPTSD Foundation article:

SILENCE TO CONTROL YOUR REACTION & COMMUNICATE DISAPPROVAL

Manipulative people never matured from “You aren’t doing what I want, so I’m not talking to you!” Unlike children, however, manipulative people aren’t so forthcoming. They want you to have just enough information to know it’s your fault so that you fill in the details and apologize to them. This may include:

Give you the silent treatment, informing an enabler who can drop hints of why they’re angry/insulted.

Telling you they need time to think with no timeline of when the silence will end. This puts them in a power position. They love to make you wait. It boosts their ego knowing that you’re thinking about them and punishes you at the same time. They won’t reach out until they’re sure you’ll be grateful. If you reach out first, they chastise you. BIG NOTE ON THIS: There are situations in which people need breaks from relationships or space to think. This is perfectly healthy. Leaving someone hanging is not. It’s disrespectful. Suggest that you touch base in a few days, a week, or in an established amount of time. You can always check in and extend that time.

Accusing you of silent behaviors They’re insulted by something non-specific that they observed about you. Rubbing your eyes “the wrong way”, standing too still, looking away, and wearing the wrong outfit. These are all punishable offenses to a manipulative person. You become scared to do anything, which is what they want.

Disappearing/Ghosting This isn’t “we went out on a date and now I’m not returning your calls.” This is an established relationship in which patterns of communication are suddenly cut off. They don’t return calls or texts. They don’t contact you on your birthday or special occasions. They intend to punish you with their silence so that you’ll come crawling to them with an apology. NOTE: Going no contact with a manipulative person may mean suddenly cutting them off. The difference is, that’s a healthy step taken to PROTECT yourself. The silent treatment is intended to PUNISH.

Watch out for these signs from manipulative and narcissistic friends/family who use silence as a form of power over you, strongly recommend reading through the whole article it has so much good information on catching red flags and signs of abuse.

Communication is so incredibly important in every healthy relationship.

Another article here with simpler language for younger people to read through!!

Ending this here with the end quote from the article above.

The most insidious thing about this kind of silence is that it can feel good to use it on a person who cares about you. Denying a loved one access to your mind and heart is the ultimate way of saying, “You see, that’s what you fucking get.” It may feel good to punish them in this way, but just remember what the long-term consequences of this are. Every wall you put up is a reminder of how inaccessible you are. Every attempt to push a loved one away is a weak demonstration of some illusory power. Silence is golden, but it can also be dangerous. The same force that warms up a relationship can be the very thing that tears it down. Silence only magnifies what already exists, so take a moment to think about how you internalize it with the people around you.

To everyone who's like me lived through and survived abuse and manipulation from people I've cared before knowing the signs of narcissistic patterns of abuse I hope you keep your heart and mind safe and are able to access local resources to get out of these types of environments.

daily fucking reminder that you are allowed to want attention and that does not make you a bad person.

in case no one’s told you in a while. you are valid.

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[lo-fag]

idk man. i just think itd be really cool if sign language classes were mandatory throughout primary school. yeah because it would make communication with deaf kids and autistic/nonverbal kids much easier. and those kids would be accessible to the others so they could make friends and have healthy relationships. yeah. and kids would eat that shit up man. like their own little secret language? they love that.

[lazylittledragon]

some domestic shadowlachs <33

[womenvoices]

We’re all humans, and we all have a dark side. Naturally, when a disaster or tragedy happens, we want to learn more about it. That’s normal. What’s NOT normal is having an unhealthy obsession with violence. In fact, an obsession with violence is a HUGE red flag, and is one of the signs.

Just about every single mass shooter was inspired by a previous shooter/shooting. A fixation on mass killers and violence is a reason for concern.

There’s a difference between being interested in history or current events and obsession with killing.

So, just so you know, the people on here who identify with the “tcc” community are dangerous and need serious mental help. If you are worshipping someone who has brutally murdered people and acting like they’re a popular celebrity, you need help. That’s not okay. If someone you know has a fascination with that shit, please tell someone and make sure it’s dealt with.

[psychicuniiverse]

Below are several ideas about change:

Rigidity Change

is well understood and easy to recognize. It is sometimes called 'refusing to change.' A rigid person responds the same way to many different situations. Their behavior may not be disagreeable in itself but be difficult because of the unbending and universal way it's applied. Rigid behavior stops growth and limits relationships. Though frustrating, it is not manipulative. People are most often rigid because they perceive the same basic threat constantly, and don't have confidence that they can survive any other way. From the inside rigid behavior feels like a realistic response to the situation. Pressuring a rigid stance is counterproductive.

Tactical Change

refers to efforts to achieve a persistent goal, often control of some sort, by different behavior, only because the nature of the contest has changed. Tactical change is common where there is a struggle for power and control. For instance, one partner oppresses the other in a relationship, insisting on making all the decisions, verbally abusing and manipulating. The oppressed partner moves out but maintains some contact. The dominating partner becomes less authoritarian, listens more, starts spending money on the other partner, etc. The oppressed partner senses that the change in behavior is more than a thin put-on. It is, but only because different behavior is more successful in that situation. If the partner moves back in, the abuse will usually start again because it is in that context more effective at achieving what has been the goal all along: power and control.

Superficial Change

is also easily recognized since it is usually a visibly half-hearted attempt to please the other. Because the goal remains the same, it cannot not last. Sometimes superficial change is presented as the 'start of change', with the implied demand that this other person be allowed back in our lives now. Remember any urgency is usually a sign of an attempt to control. Also remember that while real change may start small, it starts with a change in goal.

Cyclical Change

is often prominent in abuse and addictions, but most relationships develop some repeating patterns. As feelings of insecurity or shame grow in one person certain problem behaviors develop. Those in relationship with the person tend to adjust their behavior to maintain stability, but tension increases. At some point a crisis or explosion occurs which is disorienting and consumes everyone's attention for a time, and tension falls. A period of lower tension follows. It may be thought that problems are finally "behind us." But inexorably tension begins to build again. Different family or group members may take turns driving the cycle, and the crisis may vary. It may not appear that any cycle is occurring, only a lot of "bad luck," interspersed with hopeful times. Behavior can be plausibly seen in the short-run as a realistic response to events. The goal is usually to escape a pervasive feeling of shame. Feelings of “deja-vu” may indicate cyclical change

Authentic Change

is evidenced not just by persistence over many weeks and months and many opportunities but also by an essential change in the relationship goal.. For instance, a man or woman trying to keep his marriage stable (really prevent abandonment) may for a long time persist in controlling behaviors that actually alienate his partner more. If he learns a new way living in that situation, his goal no longer will be to control and limit his partner, which may much more effectively achieve his personal goal of not being alone. Likewise for over-accommodating behavior. To achieve authentic change, a person must accept responsibility for his or her behavior and the consequences.

[vinegar-on-a-dime]

Goblin Sightings in the United States as of 2023