#klaus talking to/comforting a dying dave

[auxiliarydetective]

AP-01: Project Apocalypse

ch. 14: Blood in the Water

AP-01 Masterlist

This fic is part of the Academy Projects series, a full rewrite of The Umbrella Academy with the addition of an original character, Kassandra Hargreeves. Throughout the story, you'll stumble across a few songs. This is supposed to make the fic feel as much like the show as possible, so I recommend you don't skip them.

Warnings: Canon-typical issues, lots of blood, war flashbacks, substance abuse

Kassandra crawled out of the taxi and back into the Academy, dragging herself towards the stairs to her room. Her head was throbbing and her ankle ached, so she was just dying to get some sleep. Now that Five wasn’t there, seeing that he was still talking to Luther, she might even be able to sleep soundly. After all, she hadn’t ever had a dream of her own.

But those plans quickly dissolved into dust. As soon as she had reached the stairs, she was overwhelmed by a mental rainstorm, an unbelievable darkness, the pain of a bleeding heart. An incessant rumbling and thumping echoed in the distance, like a very distorted thunder crack. The rain was soft, almost gentle, but the air was ice cold, in a way that wasn't stinging but oddly empty. But, worst of all, she recognized who those brain waves belonged to, and it broke her heart. She wanted to run up those stairs but her body wouldn't let her, her heart feeling like it was about to tear through her chest. Finally, she reached the top of the stairs, her eyes widened like saucers.

“Klaus.”

He stood there at the top of the stairs in a torn-up soldier's uniform, a new tattoo on his arm, dog tags around his neck and scarlet blood on his hands. But worst of all, his eyes had lost all their warmth and joy, and his skin was pale and grey, only gaining color through traces of mud.

“Hey, Kass,” he replied in a shaky, flat tone. “‘S been a rough night.”

“I know,” she whispered, hearing his thoughts more clearly now.

The rumbling hadn't been thunder. It had been helicopters, gunshots.

I'm sorry, Klaus…

“Let’s draw you a bath, alright? Get you cleaned up.”

Klaus just nodded, so she gave him a gentle hug, rubbing his back and holding him close despite the dirt and grime. He shuddered at her touch and quietly sobbed, leaning his head against hers as he tried his hardest not to let his bloody hands touch her clothes. But she didn’t seem to care, taking his hands and letting the blood soak into her gloves, then kissing his muddy cheek. The kiss sent a wave of comfort through him, letting him relax just a little, yet it came as a surge of yelling to her, one she bravely took and locked away.

Gently, she led him into the bathroom and drew a bath for him as he peeled himself out of the uniform, leaving the dog tags on.

“Don’t worry, I've got you,” she muttered as he let himself sink into the water.

As she scrubbed the blood off his hands and washed his hair, she learned everything. About the kidnapping, the torture and the briefcase. About the shock of landing in Vietnam, about the chaos of fighting… about Dave. How much Klaus had loved him, how they had always been together, how they had promised they'd celebrate the end of the war together. Most importantly though, she learned about Dave's death, about the pain that Klaus had felt, about the yelling, the helicopters and the gunfire, about the agony of seeing the love of your life bleeding out in your arms and the violent helplessness Klaus had felt. But whenever she felt him slipping too far into his memories and into the past, she eased him back to reality, sending him comfort and grounding him in the present. Finally, she dried him off and, with one more kiss, sent him on his way to his room so she could clean up the tub.

Blood stains were always hard to get out. Always had been, always would be. Sometimes, she could still see the blood from various missions and accidents stain this room, hear the crying echoing from the tiles. That time Allison had had a “breakup” before a mission and gotten herself distracted and hurt as a result. But she hadn't wanted to admit it to neither Dad nor Mom, so Kassandra had MacGyvered the first aid and later stitched her up in the bathroom, with Luther holding Allison’s hand the whole time. All the little papercuts that Ben had kept getting. Vanya's scraped knees and scratched-open arms and shoulders. Kassandra could still recall exactly where the band-aids were hidden and her various other secret compartments for medicine strewn about the house. And the many times that Klaus had come back from a party, sometimes with Diego or Allison or very rarely Ben, and how she had helped them sober up in the bathroom every single time… Or that one time she had actually tagged along and Allison had held Kassandra's hair up for her all night, listening to her drunken rambles and regrets – a night that Kassandra found was a blur, the details locked away at the back of her mind and protected by sisterly secrecy. … Where was Allison when you needed her?

Quickly, Kassandra finished up her work and snuck into her room on the softest tiptoes. She closed the door behind herself and lifted up one of the floorboards, revealing another secret storage. Inside were painkillers, medical supplies, sleeping pills… Hectically, she put a few ibuprofens in her pocket, then popped a sedative in her mouth and swallowed it. With a shaky, she hopped onto her bed, her chest rising and falling rapidly. She wanted to cry, she really did, but her body wouldn't let her, her eyes rebelling against her once again. So, she grabbed her pillow, burrowed herself beneath her blankets and screamed, knowing the many feathers would swallow up the sound. Again and again, she blew her vocal cords out until her voice wouldn't let her anymore and she collapsed, an exhausted little girl again, staring at the outlines of sticky stars on the ceiling. All the while, Allison’s words from that night echoed in her mind.

We made it, sweet sixteen. Things will only get better from here, I promise. … Happy birthday.

“Happy birthday,” Kassandra whispered, a single tear rolling out of her eye, her expression made of stone. Then, she wiped it away, and the memory faded back to her subconscious.

Only a little while later, there was a knock on her door. Kassandra took a deep breath as she already knew who was on the other side.

“Come in!” she called, her voice still slightly hoarse.

So, the door clicked open and Klaus peeked his head inside.

“Hey, Kass, wanna go on a road trip?”

“A road trip?” she echoed. “Where to?”

“Oh just… just somewhere in town. But I figured you might wanna come along. Y'know, emotional support.”

Emotional support. That was all he needed to say.

“Alright, sure,” Kassandra said quickly, swinging her legs off the bed. “Do I need anything?”

“No, nothing. C'mon, Diego's already waiting.”

“Oh, okay.”

Quickly, Kassandra slid a pair of gloves into her pocket, then reached her hand out to him so they could leave. Klaus linked his fingers with hers and they exited the room, headed down the stairs. For as much as the gunshots and grief were tearing at her heart, Kassandra couldn’t help but feel comforted by the way he trusted her, the way he leaned against her. It was just like old times. If she didn't look too hard, she could see a teenage Klaus in that black coat with the fluffy collar, ignoring the torn uniform shirt underneath.

Outside, Diego was already waiting in the car – and maybe it was good that Klaus was hitching a ride and holding him down, that way the vigilante couldn't go through with his original plan.

“Kass, what are you doing here?” Diego asked, watching through the mirror as Klaus and Kassandra shuffled into the backseat.

“It’s called ‘having a good relationship with your sister’,” Klaus cut in. “You should try it sometime.”

“Oh yeah?” Diego scoffed, but without the usual fire and vitriol.

He locked eyes with Kassandra through the mirror in search of answers, but when she couldn’t give him any, he started the car. Something told her he understood anyway. 16 years of living as siblings should’ve taught him how to see the signs. As they drove through the city, they sat in silence, Klaus nursing a heavy vodka bottle. That was until Diego broke the silence.

“Wow,” he remarked, “my brother Klaus is silent. Last time you were this quiet we were twelve. Ran down the stairs wearing Grace’s heels, tripped over and broke your jaw. How long was it wired shut again?”

Klaus didn’t respond, just kept staring out the window and sipping his drink.

“Eight weeks, I think?” Kassandra muttered.

“Eight glorious weeks of bliss.”

“Hey just… just drop me off here,” Klaus cut in.

They were in a far-off part of town and Diego furrowed his brows before doing as he was told and pulling into a “parking spot” in front of a square building. A dinghy bar, Kassandra gathered, a bar for veterans. Oh boy…

As soon as they had come to a stop, Klaus pulled his hand out of Kassandra’s grasp, muttering something like a thank you. Then, he tumbled out of the car, almost slamming the door in her face, though he didn't mean to.

“You sure you're okay, man?” Diego called after him, almost crawling out through the window.

But Klaus didn't respond, only sliding the vodka bottle into his coat and shuffling into the bar. So, Diego let himself fall back into his seat and shook his head.

“So much for holding down the base,” he commented, eyeing Kassandra. “What’s going on?”

Kassandra opened her mouth, only for her eyes to glow white again, so she quickly shut herself up. She had to tell him but she couldn’t… but maybe she could show him. With a deep breath and an instruction for him to do the same, she reached out her hand. At first, she only hovered two fingers over his forehead, but when he dipped his head, granting her permission, she placed her palm against his skin, lacing her fingers into his hair, knowing he would jump back as soon as he saw what he needed to see.

Diego felt like he was hit by a car when he suddenly found himself standing in a muddy battlefield that had once been a forest, gunshots ricocheting all around him and helicopter blades whirring somewhere nearby. He felt and didn't feel as Kassandra pushed him down, the bullets nearly grazing his scalp.

“The fuck is this place?!” he spat out, his voice weirdly echoing, disembodied.

“My way of showing you the things I can’t tell!” Kassandra shouted over the noise. “In other words, my imagination!”

“You’re telling me Klaus went to fucking war?! What is this, Vietnam?!”

Suddenly, a ball of fire erupted up ahead and it gave a terrible roar, like all breathable air was being sucked into the burning armageddon in front of them. Around them, soldiers fell like houses of cards. As Diego looked down he saw his hands covered in blood, shimmering dog tags hanging from his neck like a noose.

It was like no air reached Diego’s lungs when he faded back into reality. An expression of pure regret on her face, Kassandra let go of his head and caressed his cheek, sending him waves of comfort to make up for that pain she had made him go through.

“Oh shit,” he muttered.

Kassandra nodded. “And the worst part is: No one in there will believe him,” she mumbled, eyes on the entrance to the bar.

Diego fully shut off the car, slamming his head against his seat. But then, he paused.

“Wait a minute, Kass,” he said, beckoning her over to him with his fingers, his tone oddly soft. “Is that what you see? Y'know, every time we— Hey, don't—”

But Kassandra had already hopped out of the car, headed for the bar.

“Kassandra Hargreeves!” Diego called after her, following with long steps. “Don’t you dare avoid this conversation!”

“Klaus needs our help,” Kassandra interrupted, her voice slightly shaking. “So maybe stop thinking you need to be the one to fix everything and focus on the matter at hand, Number Two.”

Diego’s words got stuck in his throat, coming out as only a scoff of disbelief. Those words sounded wrong in her voice – and felt foreign in her throat. Out of all of the siblings, Kassandra was the only one who never called them by numbers. It was only natural since she had been the reason they had gotten proper names in the first place, even if accidentally, having found their numbers cruel and dehumanizing even when she had been too young for that level of conscience. Besides, she really had no reason to pull number since the 8 was the bottom of the barrel. For her to do it now… Diego called bullshit. But that was an issue for another day.

“Alright. Then follow my lead, Number Eight.”

General Taglist: @starcrossedjedis @oneirataxia-girl @daughter-of-melpomene @bravelittleflower @box-of-bats

Academy Projects Taglist: @therantsofawriterrr @come-along-pond @the-wyvern-institute @cherrybombgigi

Let me know if you’d like to be added or removed!

[mieczyhale]

[pickledbeefwastaken]

The High School Dance Fic That Nobody Asked For - Chapter 5

Finally a new chapter! Some more fluff ensues, Dave takes Klaus somewhere special, and though there’s a spot of angst here, everything will work out fine in the end, I promise.

Leave suggestions for where you want to see this go--I wrote this as a one-shot that grew out of hand so I don’t have much of a roadmap for where to take this. All suggestions welcome! Come chat Klave with me.

Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four

Also available on AO3

Days like this weren’t supposed to happen. It had to be a cosmic alignment so rare that the likes of it had maybe never even been seen before. It could be a slip into an alternate timeline or perhaps he was dying in a hospital and this was some sort of comatose fever dream. Only thing was, he wasn’t this creative—even his wildest dreams couldn’t conjure up an image as vivid as Klaus. His mind wasn’t capable of creating laughter so bright or a smile so dazzling or a person so thrilling.

Dave drove them out of town and up into the dense forest that bordered the city. He knew exactly where he wanted to take Klaus, though it was a bit of a drive. It’d give them time to talk, at least. He realized a bit belatedly that Klaus might think it was creepy that Dave was driving him up into the woods in the dark. He hadn’t really thought of that at first, and now he felt kinda bad to be keeping this a surprise. He glanced at Klaus, whose expression seemed curious, but not terribly scared or concerned.

“I’m not being a creep, I swear. I just realized how this probably looks,” he commented sheepishly, shooting Klaus a reassuring smile—at least, he hoped it’d be reassuring.

Klaus looked at him with an expression that seemed inexplicably coy and teasing. Dave knew his own face was probably some mix of concern and confusion as he glanced back at him.

“Davey, you seem more nervous than I am about it. Should I be worried?” He asked, turning in his seat a little more to face Dave more fully.

“No!” Dave said vehemently. “I can tell you where we’re going if you are worried. But I promise you’re safe.”

Klaus drummed his fingertips against his chin as he considered, “Hmm. I trust you. For now.”

When Dave glanced over, Klaus was smiling, so Dave smiled too, reaching across the divide between them to smooth his hand over the back of Klaus’s. His stomach fluttered when Klaus turned his hand over to match their fingertips together before interlacing their hands. It was perhaps a silly thing to get flustered over, holding hands, but it wasn’t really the act itself, it was the fact that it was with Klaus. It made things seem real and hopeful in a way that maybe the rest of the night hadn’t quite been. Everything with Klaus so far had been such a dream that it was hard to believe that it was real. It was even harder to believe that Klaus would still feel the same way in the morning. This little thing, the way Klaus held onto Dave’s hand so he didn’t pull it away, it felt deeper than just a night of fun that they’d pretend never happened the next day.

Dave pulled Klaus’s hand up to kiss the back of it before returning them to rest on Klaus’s thigh and when he glanced over, he swear he could see Klaus blushing as he looked down at their hands. There was a small smile on his face and when he glanced at Dave to see that he’d been looking, he smiled brighter and turned his head to look out the window. Dave just grinned and turned his attention back to the road.

“So, this mystery location,” Klaus prompted, “What sort of activities does one do there?”

Dave smiled and considered for a moment. What could he say without giving it all away.

“Well...” he said, taking his time, “It’s got some pretty great stargazing, if you’re into that.”

It was true, but it wasn’t why Dave was bringing Klaus there. If Klaus decided that’s what he wanted to do though, Dave kept a blanket under the backseat and they could lay it out and just lay in the grass for the night. There was plenty of other stuff to do though too—Dave and his older brother Michael had assembled a sort of home away from home that they could go to. It was just a simple abandoned campsite hidden off of one of the overgrown hiking trails that nobody took anymore, but for them, it’d been their clubhouse, their safe haven. They’d put in a slack line and screwed a target into a tree, stashed some throwing knives and frisbees and a football. They’d fixed the picnic table that’d been falling apart and found new rocks to ring in the fire pit with. They’d even hung some battery powered lights in the trees so when they went on overnight camping trips, they could play cards until the small hours of the morning.

"Oh, Dave, how romantic," Klaus gushed, though his voice was exaggerated and the smile on his features was both teasing and genuinely happy, so Dave could take the ribbing.

Dave just winked at him and kept driving. It was only a few more minutes until Dave pulled off on the little dirt road, one that people would miss if they weren't looking for it. They went another half-mile or so up into the hills before he pulled the truck off into a little alcove between two trees and turned the car off, glancing at Klaus.

"Wait here just a second, okay?" he said, reaching into the backseat to grab the blanket he kept there and hopped out of the car.

He made his way down the short, familiar path, hand feeling along the bark of a distinct tree until his hand closed around the battery pack for the lights. He flipped the switch and bathed the campsite in a warm, yellowish glow from the twinkly lights strung from tree to tree overhead. he smiled at how nice it looked, hoping Klaus thought it was as nice as he did. He set the blanket down on the picnic table, glancing around the little site to make sure everything was where it should be and like usual, it was.

When he was sure that things were right, the forest was appropriately quiet, and the slack line was at the right tension, he returned to the truck, opening the passenger door for Klaus.

"Holy shit, Dave. This is like..." Klaus said, turning his body to begin to climb out of the car, but his eyes were still glued to the campsite through the windshield. It made Dave's stomach perform a little show of acrobatics as he took Klaus's waist between his hands to help him down. When Klaus's feet landed on the ground, he finally tore his gaze away and when he looked at Dave, his expression was intense. He was looking at Dave with a mixture of awe and confusion on his face. There was something vulnerable about Klaus's gaze, a certain rawness that Dave could describe.

"Is...this okay?" he asked quietly, eyebrows knitting together in concern.

Klaus's expression shifted when he saw the look on Dave's face, "Oh, God yes. Dave, are you kidding? This is..." His voice trailed off again, turning his head to look at the little campsite and this time, Dave turned his head too.

This time, he looked at the spot with fresh eyes, like looking at it through Klaus's gaze and he thought he might understand why Klaus was a little speechless. In the dark, the twinkly lights strung through the trees looked hazy and magical and the space was surrounded by dark forest that was more comforting than frightening in some odd way. It was cozy and though Dave couldn't put his finger on exactly what it was about their little campsite, you could just feel that it was well loved. Maybe it was just him connecting so many good memories to this place, but he figured that Klaus must feel it too, judging by his speechlessness.

He realized then that it might be too much. It was romantic, really romantic looking. It was the kind of place where he could see himself one day proposing to the person he'd fall in love with. Considering Klaus had only just started to hover in some liminal space between friends and more tonight, it seemed like too much. His heart beat faster and he felt dread tightening his stomach. His face heated on its own accord and he swallowed hard, drawing his gaze back to Klaus, taking a minute to absorb the look on Klaus's face, at least, as much of it as he could see when Klaus's face was in profile.

"We can go, this is a lot. I know, I see that now, this was...Sorry. This was stupid," He stammered, letting go of Klaus's waist, averting his eyes.

Klaus didn't let him get far though. One second, Dave was stepping back to give Klaus a little bit of space and the next his arms were full of Klaus. He stumbled back a step or two when Klaus jumped at him, but his brain caught up quickly and he wrapped his arms around Klaus's waist, tentative at first, but then he squeezed him tighter, matching the death grip Klaus had around his neck.

"Klaus?" he asked softly, registering how hard the other was breathing.

"Dave, it's not too much, it's...I love it, I just...Nobody's ever—" Klaus tried to explain between breaths, voice quivering.

Dave rubbed his back gently, holding him securely while he waited for him to calm down a little. He didn't like that he'd made Klaus upset, but the knot in his stomach was loosening as he realized that maybe Klaus was overwhelmed in a good way instead of a bad way.

"I'm not making you uncomfortable?" he asked when Klaus seemed a bit calmer.

Dave had driven him up into the woods with nobody around for miles, to a spot that was already arranged romantically. It may have been creepy. It could easily be creepy. If Klaus was overwhelmed, he may not want to feel so isolated with Dave being his only way out of here. The thought that Klaus might be scared or worried made his stomach turn, but Klaus was hugging him tightly. His hands were fisted in Dave's shirt and so Dave relaxed a little.

Klaus shook his head, finally pulling himself back far enough that Dave could see his face. He looked at Dave squarely and brought a palm to his warm cheek.

"I'm not uncomfortable. I'm just...I—Nobody has ever done something like this for me. I mean—I know it's not /for/ me, I mean. You must take all your dates here?" Klaus said, voice a little thick, but he said the last part like he was trying to tease, turn this into a joke or a flirtation.

Dave shook his head. "No. I didn't put it together for you, that's true. But you're the only person I've ever brought here, besides my brother. We made this spot together. It was ours. It's been just mine for awhile now," he said, alluding to his brother being gone but not wanting to address it so directly.

Klaus's eyes flickered with recognition and for that, Dave was grateful. He wouldn't have to explain it to him—not yet at least. He wasn't sure he would have been able to talk about his brother, not when his heart already felt so raw and open in front of Klaus, not standing in the glow of his brother's spot.

"I know it's a lot," Dave said, chuckling a little, trying to loosen up the tension a little, "I just thought it might be nice and there's some stuff to do. We've got a slack line and a hammock and a target for throwing knives and I was being honest about the stargazing thing."

Klaus nodded and pressed up to kiss Dave, who melted into the contact, arms winding tighter around Klaus's waist. He leaned into the kiss just as much, Klaus's body bowing back as he clung to Dave's shoulders. When they parted, Dave rested his forehead against Klaus's and straightened them back out, slowly loosening his arms around Klaus's waist to rest his palms on his hips.

"What do you want to do first?" Dave asked with a smile, whispering the words into the small space between their mouths.

Klaus smiled, "I've never tried the slack line before. Is it hard?" he asked.

Dave lifted his head to look at him and grinned. "Yeah, it is. But don't worry, I'll hold your hand," he teased, doing as he said and taking Klaus's hand in his, "Come on."

He led him through the campsite to the slack line that was strung between two strong trees. He toed off his shoes and let go of Klaus's hand.

"It's easier without your shoes on. I'll show you how and then you can try," he explained.

He took a breath and focused, stepping up carefully and slowly on one end of the line. When he felt like his feet were under him, he took his hand off the tree and walked across the line, knowing he made it look easier than it really was. He'd had a lot of practice. He smiled at Klaus when the got to the end, turning to come back the other way, wobbling the line back and forth beneath him intentionally. He stopped in the middle and let himself drop to one knee on the line before bouncing back up to his feet, then let himself fall backwards, absorbing the impact along his spine before bouncing back up to his feet again. After that, he hopped down and looked at Klaus.

"Maybe today we just see if we can get you walking on it though," he teased with a wink.

Klaus looked at him, obviously impressed. "God, you're beautiful /and/ kind /and/ athletic /and/ acrobat now too?" he questioned, shaking his head, "Show off," he added under his breath, though he gave Dave a smile to let him know it was a joke.

Dave took the jab and grinned, offering his hand to Klaus. Klaus took it cautiously and toed his shoes off too. He put one foot up on the line, leaning heavily on Dave's hand and his other arm that was planted against the tree. He psyched himself up for a moment before trying to step up. He managed to get his other foot up to the line but lost his balance entirely the second he was up. Dave caught him under his arms so he wouldn't stumble all the way down to his ass and laughed.

"See? I told you it was hard. Try to keep your stomach muscles really tight and stay over your feet. And bend your knees a little. You can do it," Dave encouraged.

Klaus huffed indignantly but returned to his spot by the tree. It took him a bit longer to psyche himself up this time, but he did eventually put a foot up on the line and lifted his other off the ground, more slowly this time. The line wobbled precariously under Klaus, but he managed to get it under control until he had both feet on it.

"Ha! I did it!" he exclaimed, grinning down at Dave, though he held himself stiffly so as not to lose the delicate balance he'd found.

Dave smiled back, still holding his hand firmly. "Good job! Now try to take a step," he instructed, "Get your balance centered over one foot, then move the other slowly, then shift your weight to be split between the two."

Klaus listened and nodded, sticking his tongue out of the side of his mouth in concentration. The line wobbled as he adjusted his weight to rest over his right foot, but again he held it. Gently, he moved his foot, taking a tiny step forward on the rope with his left.

"Woohoo!" Dave shouted, probably a little too exaggerated for Klaus small victory, but it made Klaus laugh.

On the next step, Klaus's foot slipped off the line and he stumbled off, feet landing in the grass. Dave made sure he was steady before helping him up again.

It continued like that, Dave giving Klaus gentle instruction, holding his hand the whole way, and Klaus stumbling on the line. It took six or seven tries and lots of laughter, but eventually, Klaus made it almost more than halfway down the line in one go, shifting from one foot to the other.

"The middle is hard because it's so much looser. And after that, you have to walk back up the line so your center of gravity changes," he explained as he steadied Klaus, kissing his cheek as he did, "But you're doing really great. You're a quick learner."

Klaus smiled and batted his eyelashes at him. "You go again. Show me more of your fancy tricks," he requested, clearly a little out of breath.

Dave did as he was asked, climbing up on the slack line. He bounced on it for a moment, considering what move to do. He started with a simple somersault along the line, followed by another few drops to his back and his knee, getting the feel for it.

"Okay, step back. I don't always land this one," he warned.

When he was sure Klaus was a safe distance away, he concentrated, bouncing a few times before he gave a hard bounce and threw himself backwards. He did a clean backflip, managing to hold his balance for a few moments before he had to swing his arms and ended up having to step off the line. He laughed.

"Almost. I'll get better at it," he shrugged, sitting on the line toward the center, sinking halfway to the ground.

Klaus gave him a round of applause, practically skipping over to drop down on the line next to Dave, making it dip further. Their weight in the center made it so they slid close, shoulders pressed impossibly close, but Dave obviously didn't mind, smiling.

"You're pretty good at this stuff," Klaus complimented, leaning his head on Dave's shoulder. "I'm impressed."

Dave smiled and twined their fingers together. "I've had a lot of practice. My brother and I used to come here all the time. It was our getaway."

Klaus was looking at Dave with intensity in his eyes that he couldn't interpret. He just looked back, caught helplessly in that gaze. He looked at Dave like he was trying to figure him out, like he was fighting some internal civil war, though he couldn't guess at what it might be about. Dave just looked back, feeling like his chest was flayed open, like all of his clockwork parts were on display for Klaus's eyes to take in and it was equally terrifying and electrifying. It was a feeling that wrapped around his heart, warm and staticky in equal measure.

"Why'd you bring me here, Dave?" Klaus eventually asked.

Normally, Dave would have answered right away, noting the little things to do, the privacy, how pretty the woods were, but after the long look from Klaus, he knew those weren't the answers that he was searching for. Dave took a breath and his gaze fell away, down to their entwined hands. He thought about his answer. Klaus and Dave had talked at school during class sometimes, they were casual friends when it was convenient that they were near each other. They didn't spend time together outside of school or plan to see each other at school outside of the classes they shared. Granted, Dave had the world's biggest crush on Klaus, but it didn't change the fact that before tonight, they'd barely even been what you could call friends. To bring Klaus to a place so near and dear to his heart was weird and Dave knew that.

He lifted a shoulder a little in a meek shrug, chest feeling tighter and heavier than it had before. It was a cop-out to deliver his words with his eyes cowardly on their hands instead of speaking to Klaus's face, but Dave worried that if he looked up, the words might dissipate and he wouldn't find the strength the say them again.

"Because I like you. I've liked you for a long time. And because I trust you. And because I don't want this to be a place that I come to alone anymore. I want to share this place with you." He finally said.

There was subtext that wandered beneath his words. This place had been shared once before, and Klaus was the first person Dave felt close enough to to want to share it again. Maybe that was sad, considering Klaus and him weren't close, save for some friendly conversation and flirtation, but it was the truth. His words had betrayed how much more than a casual night of dancing this was in Dave's eyes and the more Dave thought about it, the longer Klaus was quiet, the more he was convinced that perhaps he'd laid too much of himself bare, left too many pieces of himself unguarded and vulnerable on the table. He'd offered Klaus a piece of his heart that he shouldn't have the pressure of deciding whether to keep or not.

"Dave," Klaus spoke, voice more gentle than Dave had ever heard it before, barely above a whisper, "Dave, look at me."

Dave's heart was already hammering as his anxiety about what he'd said spiraled, but he obeyed regardless. He couldn't deny him anything he asked for, especially not when it came in such a soft tone. He brought his eyes back up to meet Klaus's, his heart full-on racing in an uneven sprint. What he saw there was an expression that was somehow both soft —the face of someone who'd been touched by what they heard—and concerned. Dave wasn't sure what to make of it, so he waited with a held breath for Klaus to speak.

Klaus, for the first time seemingly, was at a loss for words. That only made Dave feel more panicky, more like he'd just stuck his stupid foot in quicksand and was sinking fast. It'd been stupid, bringing Klaus out here, telling him how much he meant to him...God, Klaus was probably freaked out. Dave could feel the rise of word vomit in his throat, just about ready to open his mouth and let whatever came out free, probably a few profuse apologies, maybe a joke to try to dispel the tension, a shaky declaration that it was okay if Klaus didn't like him like that, but luckily Klaus finally said something just in time to keep Dave from further embarrassing himself.

"I like you too," Klaus said.

His tone was simple, a statement that after so much thought seemed to come so easily for him. It didn't match his expression though. Klaus still looked concerned and when he spoke again, Dave was already anticipating the 'but', though anticipating it didn't stop his stomach from sinking all the same when it came.

"But...Dave, look, I..." Klaus stammered, dropping his own gaze now. He pulled his hand from Dave's, suddenly restless, and stood up from the slack line.

Dave's stomach dropped and his heart felt like a fist was wrapped around it, squeezing it tight with another wrapped around his throat. His skin prickled along his hairline as the shame of rejection flooded his system. He kept his eyes on Klaus politely, letting him finish what he was going to say, but internally, he was panicking, trying to shut off emotions, trying to repress the urge to shed tears, trying to will the color away from his cheeks.

Klaus paced back and forth the length of the slack line in front of Dave, wringing his hands together. Dave was helpless to do anything but volley his head back and forth to track his path and wait.

"Dave, I'm shit," Klaus finally said, to Dave's surprise.

It certainly hadn't been what he'd expected to hear.

"I smoke and I drink and I sleep around and I'll do just about any drug I can get my hands on and I've got a fucked up family and fucked up problems you can't even begin to understand. I'm failing most of my classes and I'm probably going to drop out next term and I might even run away from home, and just—Dave, you don't want this. You can't want me, you deserve better. A lot better." Klaus said, the words leaving in a rush that sounded as panicked as Dave felt.

Dave's body moved without his asking it to, standing and striding the few paces between them quickly to cup the back of Klaus's head and pull him in. He cradled Klaus's head against his shoulder and wrapped his other arm tight around his waist, shaking his head.

"No, Klaus. None of that matters. That stuff doesn't make you who you are. I like you, no matter what it is you do or what family you come from or how well you do in school," he said, the words leaving him sounding much more adamant and stern than he thought he was capable of after the last minute of inner turmoil, "Breathe. Hey, I'm not asking you to marry me. Just share my little park with me when you need somewhere to get away for awhile. And maybe don't hate me if I kind of have a huge crush on you."

The last part came out a little lighter, like a joke, thought it was honest. Thankfully, it drew a huffed laugh from Klaus against his shoulder. Finally, Klaus's posture relaxed a little and he brought his arms up to wrap tightly around Dave's waist. He nuzzled in closer, pressing his face securely into the soft spot at the front of Dave's shoulder and Dave just gently stroked his fingers through his hair. It was a long minute or two before Klaus spoke.

"Yeah, okay. But only because I have a really huge crush on you too. This doesn't mean we're dating," Klaus clarified, lifting his head to level Dave with a serious look, "But it's not because I don't like you enough. I just...I just don't like me enough. I'd make a really terrible boyfriend."

Dave wanted to argue, say that he'd be over the moon to have Klaus as a boyfriend in any capacity at all, but he wasn't really in a position to ask Klaus to be his boyfriend anyway. He was closeted, so dating wasn't really on the table anyway, not in the way that Klaus deserved. He felt lighter for having gotten all of that off his chest, but he knew that it didn't exactly change anything between them, not in any serious way. Perhaps they'd flirt more now, maybe even arrange to hang out here and there, maybe Dave would keep finding places and reasons to kiss him, but for now, that was all they could really be.

"Okay," He nodded, "I'm still in the closet. I'm hardly datable either. So we both have our baggage. Friends then?"

Klaus wrinkled his nose at the idea of them being just friends, "As long as I can still kiss you when we're alone. Friends with benefits?" He countered.

Dave's face heated at the implication, at what 'benefits' usually entailed and swallowed thickly, breathing picking up, which Klaus apparently found amusing because he laughed.

"Oh, sweet Davey. Don't have an aneurysm. Just kissing benefits for now. Maybe we'll work our way up to some heavy petting or dry-humping one day," He teased with a wink.

Dave let out a breath, but still blushed at even the thought of just that much. Still, he nodded. Yes, yes, absolutely yes, he wanted that with Klaus and more. He was grateful that Klaus seemed willing to take things slow though. Dave wanted everything with him, of course he did, but he was easily overwhelmed and this was all pretty new to him. "Friends with benefits, then," he agreed, wrinkling his own nose at how that sounded.

It sounded so crass and casual, like it was only about the so-called benefits when really Dave may have been just a little bit head-over-heels in love with Klaus. But for now, it's what they could have. It was a stepping stone for them, both clearly carrying a lot on their shoulders, and if they needed a transition period before things got any more serious, Dave could absolutely live with that. He leaned in and gently nudged his nose against Klaus, drawing a smile from him before he tilted his head and closed the distance for a soft kiss, one that had Klaus melting against him with a sigh. When they parted, they rested their foreheads together.

"I should probably get you home soon," Dave said softly, brushing his thumb over Klaus's jawline.

Klaus pouted, which made Dave smile a little purely because it was cute and because it meant Klaus didn't want to leave him, but he nodded, brushing his fingertips through the hair at the back of Dave's neck.

"Yeah, okay. Thank you, Davey."

[uaklauslovesdave]

Hi, thank you for sending me asks, I really appreciate it! :D Could you do 002 for klave, I always want to hear your thoughts about them <3

my buddy, my dude, it’s been roughly 17 years since you sent this ask, and i’m oh so sorry for taking this long to answer. it got to be one of those situations where i wanted to do it Properly, which of course brought the anxiety, which of course then brought the avoidance. But we’re here now! it’s a new era and i have a whole bunch of klave thoughts to dump on my unsuspecting followers. let us begin.

when i started shipping it:

Pretty much immediately! I remember first watching s1 and getting that slow confirmation that Klaus time traveled to the Vietnam War. We saw him on the bus with his fatigues and bloody hands and I was like ‘oh god oh no he went to Vietnam didn’t he.’ And then later we have Klaus experiencing flashbacks in the bathtub and there are echoes of the noises of war but also a strong and clear “Dave!” And in that moment my interest was piqued. Dave, he said? Who is this Dave? Is this someone he loved? Did he have a war-time romance with another soldier? And I was hopeful but I also didn’t want to get too ahead of myself because of Queer Baiting in Media reasons (like, I was in the marvel fandom, ok? I went through the whole stucky dance routine). But then, but then! We got more. We got roughly five minutes (or less?) of scenes of Klaus dropping down in front of a disoriented soldier, of this soldier introducing himself as Dave on a bus, of Klaus and Dave dancing in a bar, of Klaus and Dave sharing a kiss in a quiet corner, of Dave bleeding out and dying in the middle of combat as Klaus sobs above him. And it was quick and it was short but it was meaningful and it was tender and immediately I knew that I was gone for them. There was no turning back at this point. I was all in on the Klave Train.

my thoughts:

My thoughts? Where do I even start? I have many! Some are incoherent! Some are devastating! Some are sickeningly sweet! Some are raunchy! Stay tuned to find out!

what makes me happy about them/what makes me sad about them:

So I decided to combine these two questions because, well, I Do Not Know how to untie the happy and the sad when it comes to klave. I tried and I cannot do it. They’re two sides of the same coin with these two. Because their entire relationship is tinted by tragedy, you know? They only met each other because Klaus was tortured and then flung into a notoriously traumatizing war in the 1960s. And who knows what number tour Dave was on. Had he been there for just 2 months or was this second or third time around? I’m not sure which option is more painful, really. And it’s unclear, did Dave genuinely want to serve in the military? Did he truly subscribe to those values instilled by his family? I’d lean towards no, based on the conversation Klaus tries to have with the Younger Dave in the diner. But I think it took Dave some time to get there, as he grew older and came to better understand and accept himself and perhaps grew more and more disillusioned with the life he was pushed into. And then there’s Klaus, whose own experiences somewhat parallel Dave’s (they just happened on a different timeline). Klaus, who grew up under Reginald’s reign of terror, who was taught to be a soldier just like Dave was. But his own disillusionment was expedited and he was able to rebel and remove himself from that scene more easily than Dave could (but at the expense of losing shelter and security and stability). And we have some insights into what it was like for Klaus to grow up in that environment, constantly surrounded by death. When we first meet him he is a person who clearly does not do genuine attachment or sincerity, because that is far too vulnerable and far too dangerous in his experience. He looks out for himself and he does what he needs to do to get by, and he approaches things from a casual, crass (safe) distance. And then there’s Dave, who we learn a little bit about from his interactions with Klaus in 1963 Dallas. He appears earnest and kind, just a Really Good Kid. He seems somewhat confused by Klaus, but also intrigued. Pretty much every time we see Klaus interact with someone in the 1960’s who is not a member of Destiny’s Children they approach him with disdain (referring to him as “pretty boy,” kicking him out of the diner, etc.). But not Dave. Not until he is pressured into it by Uncle Homophobe. And after that Dave seeks him out and apologizes, says that’s not him. And he and Klaus talk, and we see that they really knew each other, they really had a relationship, but by the end of the conversation Dave has been pushed too far. He’s not quite ready to rebel yet, he’s not quite able to make that leap into living as his true self. Just like Klaus, Dave grew up trapped and restricted and surrounded by ghosts. Not literal ones, no, but the ghosts of dead war heroes who came before him, the ghosts of the Ideal Man and Good Son that he thought he had to be, that he thought he had to prove he could become. And it’s not quite clear how and when Dave finally got to that point where he could rebel, where he could finally push past the fear, knock down the walls of the box he had been shoved into. But by the time he and Klaus crossed paths in 1968 Vietnam he was ready. And Klaus was ready. And they brought that genuine, true, real love out in each other. Something both of them probably thought was never possible. Something both of them probably thought was just a myth. Just turning themselves inside out and sharing that with each other. Trusting the other to take care of it and hold and keep it safe. All in the middle of a deadly war. It’s beautiful and it’s painful and it’s why I love them.

things done in fanfic that annoy me:

Nothing really specific comes to mind. Generally if there’s something I don’t like in a fanfic I’ll stop reading and move on. There is, of course, the Fanon Klaus Problem that makes its way into klave fics, so I suppose that annoys me. Or stories where Dave is one-dimensional and seems to exist just to comfort and take care of Klaus. But really, I don’t wanna hate on anyone who writes fanfic in a particular way. You do you. If it appeals to me I’ll read it and if it doesn’t I’ll just pass it by. No big deal.

things i look for in fanfic:

It absolutely depends on the day and what I’m in the mood for in that particular moment. I’m a sucker for angst so I absolutely do not mind reading something terribly sad and tragic. I like hurt/comfort with an emphasis on the hurt. I’m a fan of the GhostDave Watches Over Klaus Through the Years genre. I like stories that explore their time together in Vietnam. I’m into AU’s that include AliveDave traveling back to 2019 with Klaus and they hang out in Klaus’ room in the academy and Dave meets the siblings and Diego gives him a shovel talk. Sometimes I just want that sweet, sweet smut. Mostly I look for something that is both lovely and sad, which is not hard to find because that is, essentially, their relationship. There’s lots of good stuff out there. All y’all writers are talented. I salute you.

my kinks:

Alright, I’m just gonna preface this by saying that I will try my best to be unapologetically open about this, but at my core I am both shy and repressed. My easy and safe answer to this is that my kink for klave is love, happiness, and tender intimacy. That’s what I really want for them. But also. But also! Let them be smutty! Let them find places to sneak away and fuck, Dave’s hand over Klaus’ mouth to stop him from making noise that will alert the other soldiers to their activities. Or maybe they’re sitting under a tarp in the pouring rain and Klaus sees how far he can take it, and Dave doesn’t back down, and it ends up with Klaus blowing Dave while some other guys are sitting just feet away, oblivious to what’s going on between Katz and Hargreeves just over there. And then there’s that time they get to take leave together, and they’re able to get a hotel room, just to themselves, with real walls and a door that locks and a bed and everything. And the digs aren’t great but it feels like a palace compared to what they’re used to, and they absolutely do not waste this opportunity. Dave fucks Klaus into the mattress, and Klaus gets to learn what it’s like to have someone take control because you actually want them to and you feel safe with them, and Dave gets to learn what it’s like to have someone trust you implicitly and be willing to be vulnerable with you. And it’s not perfect, of course, sometimes their histories and understandings of sex and intimacy bump heads, but they love each other, they really do, and they work through it. And they both cry during sex at some point. For Dave it’s the first time he’s done so, for Klaus it’s not (but this is nothing like those other times this is because he wants to be here this is because he’s overwhelmed with love this is a release this is being seen this is being cared for).

who i’d be comfortable with them ending up with if not each other:

Let me be real and say that I really, really, really want them to end up with each other, and I think that this is where the show is headed. But, if that is not the case, as long as they are happy I will be happy. Perhaps that is cliche, but oh well. Just let them experience love and support, whether that’s with each other, someone else, or just on their own.

my happily ever after for them:

I don’t know how and I don’t know when (like seriously, when in the timeline is a big question), but I want them to find a way to be together. Maybe it involves some time-traveling, maybe it involves some timeline-hopping, maybe it involves some Commission interference, maybe one or both of them will be dead, maybe (most likely) it involves something that has not even crossed my mind as a possibility. But, like I said, I think that somehow there WILL be a (perhaps nontraditional) happily ever after for them. It might take some time to get there and I don’t think it’s gonna be a smooth road, but I do think that’s the ultimate destination. And I’m looking forward to the whole process.

who is the big spoon/little spoon:

Good question! My first instinct was Klaus as little spoon. Because he is Klaus but also because of the Bar Kiss scene where Dave tenderly cradles his face and those Very Important blurry behind the scenes instagram photos of Klaus resting his head on Dave. But I also think it would be really nice for Dave to be the little spoon? Because Klaus gets to hold him and act as a Protector and maybe he can feel Dave’s heartbeat beneath his (hello) hand and he gets to wrap around him and hold on tight and he can let go when he wants to but he doesn’t want to, he wants to stay right here as long as Dave will have him. And Dave will have Klaus wrapped around him, holding on, as long as Klaus wants to stay. Dave gets to be held and cocooned in the arms of this beautiful person he loves. Dave doesn’t have to be strong right now, he doesn’t have to put on the face of the Good Soldier. All he has to do is fall into the space between them.

what is their favorite non-sexual activity:

I’m gonna say that they had a lot of time to sit together and talk while they were in Vietnam. Sure, they had their duties and sometimes they were in the shit but there was also a lot of down time, just sitting around and waiting for something to happen. And so they’d sit and they’d smoke and they would talk. About their interests, about where they come from, and eventually about the life they would build together after they got out of there. But here’s a specific image that I have: they’re sitting close together, maybe it’s dark, there’s no one nearby. Cigarette smoke lingers in the air, mingles with the fine mist. The conversation has turned to music, somehow. Conversations have a tendency to meander when Klaus is involved, and Dave follows him step for step, never tripping, never questioning how they got there. And Klaus asks Dave about his favorite song, and Dave hesitantly mentions “The Man Who Shot Liberty Valence,” like he’s embarrassed, but he’s loved it for years and he wants to be honest with Klaus. And Klaus hums and says he doesn’t know it, hasn’t heard of it, and he leans against Dave, lays his head against his chest. And Dave says, that’s ok, it doesn’t matter, it’s just a stupid old song anway. But Klaus says, no, you should sing it for me, I want to hear it, I want to know it. And Dave scoffs and laughs, but Klaus looks up at him, and then Dave looks away, and his mouth lifts into a smile, something small and fragile. He turns back to Klaus, looks him the eye, and softly, so softly, starts singing, “When Liberty Valence rode to town, the womenfolk would hide…” And Klaus drops his head and shifts closer to Dave and hears the words slip from Dave’s mouth and feels the words vibrate in Dave’s chest. He closes his eyes. There’s a war going on. It’s 1968 and he’s in Vietnam and his clothes are damp but he’s right where he wants to be. The song is not romantic, but it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever heard. He never forgets the words.

[gilmores-glorious-blog]

You’re the one that I love and I’m saying goodbye

-

The events of February 21, 1968, from Dave’s perspective. (Title from Say Something by A Great Big World.)

-

Dave Katz had never been afraid of death. He spent his whole life preparing to enlist, he never expected to live past thirty. And he’d never really wanted to. If he died in battle, he’d die making his family and his country proud. If he lived, he would be shamed, rejected by society for something as simple as who he liked. So Dave was okay with dying young.

Until he met Klaus. Klaus made him want to live. Because Klaus meant that after the war, Dave wouldn’t be alone. He wouldn’t have to face his family and tell him the reason he’d never dated a girl back home. He could leave his family altogether, because Klaus was his family now. So for the first time in his life, Dave wanted to survive. He needed to survive, because although Klaus would never say it, Klaus needed Dave more than anything. And there was nothing Dave feared more than letting Klaus down. 

That was his first thought when he felt the bullet hit him. He was letting Klaus down. He was afraid for that reason, not because he knew he was going to die on this hill. He’d been waiting for this day. And one of the many benefits of having a crazy-ass boyfriend with superpowers was that Dave knew ghosts were real. That was the only thought stopping Dave from ripping the bullet out of his chest and somehow surviving through sheer willpower- he would see Klaus again somehow. Klaus was the only person who could find him again.

But the thought wasn’t much comfort as he watched Klaus. Dave was trying so hard to talk, to tell him everything he was thinking. He watched as Klaus screamed over and over again for a medic. He wished he could laugh and tell Klaus to not waste his breath. He wished that Klaus would stop sobbing, because those sobs were going to be the only thing Dave heard for eternity. 

Dave couldn’t help the selfish thought that ran through his head as Klaus cradled his head and told him it was okay. Come with me. Come with me, and it really will be okay. But that wasn’t really what Dave wanted at all. Because he knew that was what Klaus was thinking- that maybe if he died too, everything would be okay. But it wouldn’t. Dave needed Klaus to live. 

There was nothing in the world Dave loved more than Klaus. Dave looked up at him now, through his closing eyes. Saw his curly hair falling in his face, saw the tears welling in his green eyes. Dave could faintly remember those eyes when they were happy. Nights spent in a forest, kisses exchanged in the Vietnam rain. The way those eyes crinkled at the corners when Dave made him laugh, and the way they closed softly as Dave lulled him to sleep with stories of his childhood. Dave remember the wide-eyed way Klaus looked at him when he arrived in Vietnam, and Dave remembered sitting up, still half-asleep, and knowing instantly that this shocked, broken, shell of a person was someone special. 

Dave tried to remember the good moments. He wanted his last thoughts to be of the touches they shared, the way their breath mingled together in the hot night air, the genuine look in Klaus’ eyes when he told Dave he loved him over and over again. 

But he couldn’t keep hold of those memories. Everything was slipping from his mind quickly, and all he could focus on was the Klaus that was with him right now. At least he was here at all. At least Dave got to feel Klaus’ hands on his body, and feel his warmth. At least he got to look at those eyes at all as the life left his body.

His eyes met Klaus’ one last time, and he could see the slightest change in Klaus’ face when he realized Dave was still with him. Dave hated letting Klaus down. He hated the way Klaus’ face fell when Dave stopped him from being affectionate in front of others. He hated the fear in Klaus’ eyes on the few occasions Dave raised his voice. But he knew that he was letting Klaus down right now, because he couldn’t hold on any longer.

Klaus, listen to me. It’s going to be okay. I’m going to find you. I’m going to wait for you, wait however long it takes for you to find me again. I will always be with you. I don’t know how this death thing works, but I promise you that I will find a way to stay with you. You’re never going to be alone again. I would never do that to you. What I need you to do in return is keep going. Please, Klaus, don’t give up on life just because I’m not in it. You deserve to stay alive. I always knew I would die like this- on a battlefield, young and foolish. It’s okay. I’m just a boy from Texas. You’re spectacular. You have to power in you to change the world. So keep going, for me, please, Klaus. I need you to keep going. You can do amazing things, and I’m going to be right with you as you do. I’m not leaving you. We’ll find each other again, no matter what. I will never give up on you, Klaus. I love you so goddamn much, Klaus Hargreeves. Don’t you ever forget that. I love you…

These are the words Dave wished he could say as he faded away for good. 

Instead, all that came out was blood, and a final, shuddering breath. 

[conduitandconjurer]

Meta 

Klaus is opportunistic, but never in such a way as actively hurts others.  Klaus is a conjurer, a conversant with the dead, and therefore a being of change, self-actualization, and transition.  Down to the “hello” and “goodbye” hands.  He’s a harlequin, a trickster archetype, LIMINAL, nonbinary, an agent of unexpected wisdom and, again, change, change, change.  You can’t expect a corvid to behave like a lion. 

There’s apparently some static circulating the TUA fandom about Klaus’s behavior in season two. I’m well into it and still not seeing why, but I think part of the misapprehension is that he uses and then neglects Ben, rendering their partnership in the execution of his power unequal, and opportunistic, providing him the fodder that fueled his cult.  

I’d like to address that as a new fan, on several counts:

1) the desire to see Dave again and the willingness to tamper with the Kennedy Assassination timeline (unaware, so far, as to the world-ending effects) in order to spare his One Great Love from dying in Vietnam.  I will side-burner this one right now because I haven’t gotten to the end of season two yet and don’t yet know to what extremes Klaus will go to see this happen.  

2) His relationship with Ben.  The real reason why he keeps Ben a secret hidden under a bushel is, imho, complex.  This one goes out to @vericey, who thought up the headcanon, but in essence, Klaus has never wanted the powers (the “greatness thrust upon him”) that he was born with, unlike his siblings, who have savior complexes (their own highly difficult psychological battles, which I am NOT discounting here), and who seem compelled to use their powers to save others. It’s both an obligation and a validation for them.  For Klaus, that’s never been the case. HE DIDN’T ASK FOR THAT RESPONSIBILITY, SO TO HIM IT’S CONTRACTUALLY UNFAIR TO ASK HIM TO HONOR IT.  He has no desire to be a conduit to thousands upon millions of dead souls who need him to attend to their unfinished business.  Attuned and emotionally sensitive, he is already daily over-stimulated and overwhelmed by their needs and demands.  Enter Ben, the byproduct of that unwanted ability, who is the sibling who had a statue at the academy. The sibling everyone mourns.  Ben already has more presence among the other Hargreeves kids than Klaus, who is still alive.  The siblings have disregarded Klaus as a junkie since adolescence.  They never bothered to learn WHY he gets high, WHY he has his head plugged into music 24/7, WHY he runs from responsibility. It’s not because Klaus is truly unreliable or selfish: it’s because in order to bear his unwanted special ability, he has to numb the ambience.  But what KLAUS knows is that his siblings would suddenly hold great value in his presence if they knew they could use him to talk to the brother they actually DO miss.  So he mentions Ben only sparingly, and never discusses Ben’s CONTINUAL presence.  It’s a desperate bid to gauge whether or not his family values him FOR HIM. 

3) Which brings me to the cult.  A lot of fans see the Klaus Cult as some kind of comic relief that reveals the depth of his self-centeredness. It’s not entirely untrue, but there’s another layer. Klaus conceals and obscures, Klaus mutes and hides, as a way of coping.  This applies everything from his sardonic sense of humor, to his drug abuse, to hedging on the truth about Ben, to avoiding conjuring unless he must, to taking advantage of people’s preconceptions of “enlightenment” and “holiness” in order to climb the (homophobic, cissexist) social ladder of 1960s America.  

The key to 90% of Klaus’s opportunism is that it’s BENIGN.   What he does may affect others but only insofar as they choose to react in a way that harms them.  He never gives them the tools to hurt themselves; he simply interacts in the same sphere as they do, without action and without judgment.

(Klaus’s outlook on life is very Eastern-hemisphere, and it’s no surprise that when he was traveling the world in the era of oft-high white hippies appropriating Eastern thought, he visited India.)  

 Think about previous examples: robbing a convenience store for like an armful of junk food; trying to steal money from his millionaire dead abusive father; letting Ben haze a racist cop to get his sister’s husband out of jail.  It’s the same thing with the cult.  Ben levitates Klaus, Klaus quotes pop songs by TLC and Destiny’s Child to wow crowds into seeing him as a guru. People are happy and peaceful, and he happens to get lots of money and flourish in queer havens across the country, like San Francisco, where otherwise he’d probably be brutally murdered for being gay.  Does anybody get hurt? Nope.  And to me, that’s what’s crucial. 

 Incidentally: the only time Klaus was ever connected to someone else getting hurt was when Patch died by Agent ChaCha’s gun.  Be assured he blames himself for that, but he certainly didn’t ask to be kidnapped and tortured for days, nor did he ask Patch to go into the hotel room without backup from Diego.  

I think people should bear in mind that while Klaus is a master of nonaction, he is also never selfish in such a way as gets other people hurt.  He is the first person to comfort as well as sensibly aid a sibling in a moment of real crisis. Three examples off the top of my head:

A) Being the only sibling aside Allison to seriously question locking Vanya away in the very room where she was abused by neglect as a child, insisting, “this is Vanya, she used to cry when we stepped on ants!” and “Why don’t we just let her out and ASK her what happened?”  If anything, Klaus is a champion of respecting the will and rights of others. 

B) Putting a hand on Luther’s shoulder while crying himself, when Allison was discovered nearly killed by Vanya (poor Vanya, she’s a whole other kettle of fish and I frankly adore her), as well as being very kind and patient with Luther when he was drunk earlier (and physically assaulted Klaus):

C) Rushing into a police riot zone to rescue Allison while her husband, frightened of her powers, was running into danger: 

Klaus has a compassionate heart.  He just has issues with confrontation and with follow-through, because this is a life he would forfeit in a second if he could. And who can blame him?   Frankly Klaus has the healthiest outlook on Reginald Hargreeves and his abusive bullshit, of all the siblings. He’s the only one who calls Reginald out, establishes healthy self-other boundaries with his “father,” and is then at peace with the ways in which Reginald continues to fall short, certain that these failings are no fault of Klaus’s own.   Just see their conversation in the barbershop in “heaven.”

Let me repeat: 

HE DIDN’T ASK FOR THIS RESPONSIBILITY, SO TO HIM IT’S CONTRACTUALLY UNFAIR TO ASK HIM TO HONOR IT. He will try, when it concerns the welfare of family members, but he doesn’t see why he should be somehow predestined to “save the world” when he never claimed the ability to do so. 

4) And that’s not even touching Klaus’s Complex-PTSD, which began before Vietnam and is still a MAJOR and FORMATIVE part of how he behaves now.  

[justatiredghost]

Living for the Moment Ch9 A series of glimpses at Klaus’ life if he’d met Dave in his mid 20s. His life isn’t magically transformed, love can’t fix either of them when they’re both homeless and in a bad place. They’re not even really ready for a relationship yet. But maybe a supportive friendship can set them on a better path, the two of them inspiring each other to take care of themselves. It’s going to be a long and bumpy ride, and the question is, when will they actually admit to themselves that they have feelings for each other?

-

Kaus shifted, making himself comfortable in the old shopping cart. He felt lucky for finding one abandoned out here in this back alley. He wanted to close his eyes and rest a bit, but there were memories and nightmares waiting for him that he didn’t want to relive, so instead he popped another pill and lit a joint for good measure, watching the smoke curl up into the dark sky. He was just so tired. Why did everything have to be so difficult? 

“What’s been up with you lately?” Ben asked, looking down at him from a fire escape he was sitting on.

“Shhh, Ben, it’s quiet time,” Klaus said, closing his eyes. 

“It’s just,” Ben continued anyway. “You haven’t been going to any of the sketchier bars or clubs like you usually do.” 

“Just haven’t been in the mood,” Klaus said airily. “Why, are you complaining?”

“Of course not, it means you’ve been bored enough to take all my suggestions for things to do.  You even went to that movie I've been wanting to see.”

“What can I say? I was craving popcorn and it’s so easy to steal there,” Klaus said, hoping he’d give up soon. 

“If you’re trying to get sober—”

“Yeah,” Klaus laughed out loud, interrupting him. “No way that’s gonna happen. 

“I’m serious, Klaus,” Ben persisted, a little overeager. “This is really good!”

“Oh my god, you’ve got to be kidding me,” Klaus groaned, throwing his head back dramatically. “Just because I haven’t been in the mood to get absolutely wrecked, doesn’t mean I’m gonna ‘change my ways,’ or whatever. Quite the opposite. In fact, I might be feeling a bender coming on now.”

Ben’s expression didn’t look convinced and that alone made Klaus want to go out and take every drug he could get his hands on because, really, Ben should know better by now than to hold out on that kind of hope. Why was he still on his case about this when he saw firsthand what being sober did to him? 

“Does this have anything to do with that Dave guy you got beat up a few days ago?” Ben suddenly asked. 

“No,” Klaus said pointedly, probably too quickly. That was one of the things he was trying so hard not to think about. He still didn’t understand why Dave bothered after he’d seen how he lived his life. But it made it harder to want to indulge in his regular recklessness, especially since there hadn’t been any expectation for him to get clean like there was with anyone else he’d ever had that sort of conversation with. Maybe that could still happen, but Dave did drugs too, so Klaus really had no idea what to think. He just didn’t understand Dave. 

“Whatever,” Ben said. “If it’s brooding hours, I’m gonna go. At least you’ve been more fun lately.”

“You take that back, I’m always fun,” Klaus joked, cracking one eye open to grin at Ben, who shook his head, but was smiling too as he disappeared. 

Klaus leaned back in the grocery cart, breathing a heavy sigh as he closed his eyes again, settling in. He wasn’t sure how much time had gone by when he heard a group passing down the street. He must have been higher than he realized, though, because he thought he heard Dave’s voice among them. 

“You guys go on ahead, I’ll catch up.” 

He hadn’t realized he’d had the guy on his mind so much. He took a long drag of the joint as he heard footsteps approaching, trying to just enjoy the high before he was interrupted, feeling the cool night air on his face. He wondered what it was going to be this time. A cop? A mugging or a hate crime? Did he get a prize if he guessed right?

“Well, you look comfy.”

Klaus opened his eyes and had to do a double take when he saw that it really was Dave standing there, big smile on his face. Thankfully the split lip and black eye were beginning to heal. 

“Sorry about that, didn’t mean to startle you,” Dave chuckled, leaning on the edge of the cart. 

“Hey,” Klaus said, offering him his joint. “What are you up to?”

“Just seeing what parties are out and about,” Dave said, taking a drag before passing it back. 

“Anything good?”

“Nah, not really. What about you?”

“Making my own party,” Klaus said, gesturing to the cart as if it were obvious. 

“Sweet, any chance I can get past the bouncer?” Dave asked and Klaus couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Yeah, I might be able to swing that,” Klaus said. “But you gotta push me.”

“I thought you’d never ask,” Dave said, moving to stand on the bar on the back, using one foot to push it along.

“Oh, hell yeah, it’s definitely a party, now,” Klaus said, sitting up to get a better grip, legs still hanging over the front. 

Dave brought them to a sudden stop when they passed a skate park, the two of them turning to each other. 

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Dave asked. 

“You better be ‘cause I need to do this immediately!” Klaus exclaimed. 

“Uh, you’re not talking about needing to pee, are you?”

“No!”

“Okay, good!” Dave broke into a run, speeding towards the nearest ramp. 

It didn’t take long at all for Dave to lose his footing and nearly faceplant on the pavement, leaving Klaus to careen along, cheering at the top of his lungs, wind in his hair, until it reached the peak of the ramp and tipped to the side, spilling Klaus onto the ground. Thankfully, besides some scraped up elbows and knees, he wasn’t hurt. Dave sprinted over and dropped to his knees at his side, but as soon as he realized that he was more or less unhurt, he collapsed to the ground beside him, the two of them giggling. 

“Next time, we should do that sober, we might last longer” Dave said. “And you should push me.”

“Sounds like taking some of the fun out of it,” Klaus said. “But fine. Then we can take turns nearly killing each other.” As if Klaus ever did anything sober.

“Sounds like the perfect evening to me,” Dave said with a heavy sigh as he caught his breath. After a moment, he rummaged around in his coat and pulled out a joint and lit it. He took a drag before bumping Klaus’ arm, offering it up. “So, how’ve you been?” 

“Fantastic,” Klaus said, accepting the joint eagerly.

“That bad, huh?”

“Nah, it’s been great, really.” Klaus said, waving a hand dismissively before passing the joint back. “What about you? Your face looks better. Sorry you're not gonna get a badass scar though.”

“Aw, maybe next time,” Dave laughed. 

“Really?” Klaus asked skeptically. “Do you actually want a scar? Because I can definitely help with that.”

“What? You can respond with deflective humor and I can’t?” Dave asked innocently.

“And here I was trying to be all sincere and apologize,” Klaus said, snatching the joint back, turning his eyes back to the sky above them because it was easier than looking at Dave. “I don’t even know why I went looking for you that night.” He hadn’t meant to say that out loud, but he supposed curiosity got the better of him. 

“I’m glad you did. I already told you, you don’t have to apologize,” Dave said. “I’d rather get into a little fight if it means I can help out a friend.”

“Ugh, were you always this sappy?” Klaus groaned, because he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to feel about that. He wasn’t supposed to have friends. Acquaintances, sure, people he could party with, but they weren’t meant to stick around. Klaus wasn’t meant to stick around. So why was he still here?

“Yes,” Dave said with a giant shit eating grin that showed no shame whatsoever. “So, are you gonna tell me what’s been bothering you? I guess we can dance around it instead, but I have to warn you, I can be very annoying.” 

“Can be?” Klaus asked, shooting him a look.

“Okay, I am very annoying,” Dave chuckled, but then, like the considerate bastard he was, he hurried to add, “Unless you genuinely don’t want to talk about it. Boundaries, and all that.”

He glanced at Dave again, at his too-blue eyes that were always so sincere and soft, and he had to look away again, turning his gaze up to the harsh streetlights and the millions of stars staring through him. He sighed. Why the fuck not? Why not just jump in and share all the crazy bullshit that was his life? It wasn’t like any of this really mattered. 

And besides, Dave was bound to find out sooner or later. Honestly, he was surprised he hadn’t heard the gossip yet. Or he had but wanted to see him squirm instead. No, that wasn’t like Dave. Klaus just wanted everything to go back to normal so he could stop feeling so much all the time. Why did everything have to be so complicated?

“My sister wrote a book about the fam,” Klaus said, taking another long drag of the joint before passing it back, watching the smoke swirl above him as he exhaled into the night. “I’m impressed, really. Didn’t know she had it in her. And dear old Daddy was a bastard, someone needed to knock him down a peg or two.”

“Do you and your sister get along?” Dave asked.

Klaus couldn’t help but laugh which he supposed was answer enough. 

“Then I’m guessing her portrayal of you wasn’t exactly positive,” Dave said, voice sympathetic and Klaus hated how serious all of this had gotten. 

“Bingo, right on the money. But, I mean, look at me. It’s not like there’s much good to say, either. I’m just mad she told the world I was the one who dyed my brother’s mask pink. That was supposed to be our little secret.”

“That’s not true, you— wait, what do you mean ‘mask?’” Dave asked, distracted as Klaus hoped he would be. 

“Well, yeah. Any good child superhero has to wear a mask.” 

“Child superhero?” Dave exclaimed, choking on smoke as he sat up to stare at him. 

“What, did you seriously not put it together?” Klaus asked, finally turning to grin at him, crossing his arms behind his head, getting comfortable. 

“Put what together? I am so incredibly lost. What are you talking about?”

“Really?” Klaus said, holding up his hands for him to see. “Klaus Hargreeves? Ouija board inspired tattoos on my hands, umbrella tattoo on my wrist; you really have no clue who I am?” 

He’d honestly thought Dave would have at least suspected by now, but it had been too nice pretending someone didn’t know his past, that he could want to get to know him for him and not the fame. Maybe Dave truly didn’t know, though, as surprising as that would be. He regretted losing that, but honestly it was worth it to see Dave’s baffled expression as he tried to piece it all together. 

“I don’t—“ Dave began, but then the realization seemed to hit him. “Wait, you’re-- what was it?-- the Seance!” 

“Now he gets it,” Klaus chuckled, snagging the joint from Dave’s unresisting hand. “I seriously can’t believe you didn’t put it together sooner.”

“I’m sorry, I just haven’t thought about the Umbrella Academy in years,” Dave said, looking as if his world had just changed completely. Klaus didn’t like it. “It didn’t really occur to me how fucked up it must have been until I was older.”

“Nah, it was all sunshine and roses,” Klaus said. “Just read Vanya’s book for proof.”

“Or you could fill me in,” Dave said, and Klaus had to turn to look at him, surprised. “I don’t really like hearing things second-hand, especially from someone you weren’t even that close to.”

“I am not one to share my secrets,” Klaus said. “And I said she got it pretty much right.” 

He wasn’t really sure why he was trying to talk Dave into reading it. Maybe it would just make things easier. Especially because there were some things he didn’t want to share with him directly. It would be easier if Dave just stopped hanging around him so he didn’t have to see the exact moment he stopped being able to look him in the eye.

“I think I’m good,” Dave said. “We all got fucked up one way or another as kids. Some worse than others. We’re all just trying to get through life as best we can. You should be able to keep those secrets.”

“Your loss,” Klaus shrugged, not really sure why his throat was suddenly tight, even though the idea that he should have any privacy made him want to laugh. “It might explain some things.”

It shouldn’t matter what Dave did. He could be lying now and was going to look up the book the moment they went their separate ways. And even if he didn’t, if he was telling the truth, it shouldn’t mean anything to Klaus. He was already used to strangers who knew too much about him, people who only thought of him as Number Four and just wanted the bragging rights of being able to claim they knew him. He wondered how things were going to change now between the two of them. 

“I’m not sure anything could explain you,” Dave laughed, and it was strange, it was almost like he was joking to deflect for Klaus. 

“I’m going to pretend that was a compliment,” Klaus sniffed indignantly, barely managing to hide his grin, all too willing and relieved for the change in subject. 

“I meant it as one, I swear,” Dave said. “I never know what to expect with you, but I’m having a great time trying to figure you out.”

“What’s to figure out?” Klaus asked, striking a pose. “I’m just a fabulous dumpster fire.”

“Pretend all you like, that doesn’t change how great you are.”

Klaus couldn’t help but stare at him, taken aback. He wasn’t really used to genuine compliments. Sure, he’d had people find him attractive and he knew the things he was good at and how to use them to impress or gain the upper hand, but he wasn’t used to this. He wasn’t used to anything even close to this without some sort of ulterior motive. 

He had to put up with all sorts of unsavory types in order to get by, living on the streets. Then again, he’d done his own fair share of lying and stealing, so maybe he deserves to be among them. There wasn’t much he was proud of himself for, but then pride was the first thing to go if you wanted to last out here. Maybe Dave had just forgotten, he had been gone for a month, after all. That didn’t stop Klaus from wanting to be selfish, so he didn’t remind him. 

“Well, that’s enough of that,” Klaus said, jumping to his feet, because as much as he liked being the center of attention, he wasn't sure how he felt about all this. Besides, being fun was what he was good at, so he might as well play to his strengths. Keep Dave from realizing the truth just a little bit longer. “Come on, then. The night is young and we’ve got havoc to cause.” 

He threw his arm across Dave’s shoulders as he stood to join him, tightening his grip briefly as if threatening to put him in a headlock. Dave did the same and suddenly they were in a playful scuffle as they headed off into the night. 

[bentacles-hargreeves]

Remus’ List of Angst Fanfic Favorites - @tuafeedbackfest​

Thank you to all the writers in this amazing fandom who worked hard on making and sharing their stories with us, without you the fandom wouldn’t be the same!

No Pain (You Are Receding), by siriuspiggyback (Teen and Up) “You are watching your sister scream. You can’t pick out her voice among the ghosts, but you think it probably sounds something like yours, when you were a child and alone in the dark.” Oneshot, 6,961 Words.

Numbers series (The Ghost of Us &  I Might Start Another Day), by VeteranKlaus (Mature) “The briefcase transports Klaus into a time to fall in love with a bookshop owner and photography enthusiast with soft amber eyes and a yellow star sewn into all of his clothes. And later, Klaus will stand next to that same man behind a fence, and he'll hold his hands up to a camera and pray to a merciless god that his siblings open a history book and find him. Or, the briefcase sends Klaus into the 1940s Berlin instead of Vietnam, and into another kind of Hell.” In-Progress, 2 Works & 74,825 Words. ((Mind the trigger warnings))

where only the lost can find series, by hujwernoo (Mature) “Dad always said he only ever scratched the surface of his powers. But here's the thing: Klaus knows exactly what lies under that surface. And it's not him.” Ghost Possession, In-Progress, 2 Works & 51,925 Words. ((Mind the trigger warnings))

Counting Down The Days To Go, by siriuspiggyback “It started off small. Easy to explain away. That was his downfall, in the end. By the time they diagnosed him, it was too late; the cancer had gotten a tight hold on his body. Klaus wouldn't tell his siblings, not yet, no matter how much Ben begged him. He wanted to feel as normal as he could, for as long as he could.” Complete, 12 Chapters & 24,869 Words. (tw: cancer)

Speak To Me With That Lying Mouth Of Yours series, by ObliqueOptimism (Not Rated) “Klaus was trying so hard to be good, to not be afraid. But how could you not be afraid when someone could rewrite you?” Ghost Empath Klaus, Complete, 3 Works & 15,276 Words. ((Mind the trigger warnings))

too close for comfort now by myeyesarenotblue (Mature) ““Dad!” Nothing. “Dad, please, I’m scared!” Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Luther raises a hand tentatively, brings it to rest against Reginald’s shoulder- his hand goes through him. Shimmers bright blue for the briefest of seconds, sending a weird tingling feeling through his body. Luther pulls it away quickly, as if it burned. Reginald doesn’t look up. Maybe Luther's dead.“ In-Progress, 7/? Chapters & 23,134 Words.

i fear for our lives and i fear your closed eyes, by MildeAmasoj (Teen and Up) “Eudora waits. Hazel and Cha-Cha don't. Or, the one in which a detective waits for backup, and in that half hour two time-traveling assassins decide that, after all, our favorite creepy junkie is, indeed, useless. So they decide to get rid of him. Thing is, the junkie’s dysfunctional siblings (and a disgruntled little girl in the sky) are not too happy about it.“ In-Progress, 4/10 Chapters & 16,739 Words.

Somniloquy, by Scalliwag (Mature) “Klaus never wakes up gently. It’s something Dave notices within the first few nights of his arrival. It's the same pattern, every night. It starts with him talking in his sleep, whispering, pleading. Sometimes Klaus will shock himself awake with a gasp. Sometimes he'll sit up so suddenly it nearly gives Dave a heart attack, his eyes wide eyes staring into the empty space in front of him, haunted by… something. At first, Dave doesn’t ask what. They’re at war, after all. Klaus is hardly the only person with his ghosts and demons.” Complete, 4 Chapters & 10,204 Words.

Specialise in Dying series, by VeteranKlaus (Mature) “'He can’t count them. There are too many to count. Way too many. Row after row after unending row, the ghosts flood the streets, stand on rubble, on crumbling second, third and fourth floors of still-standing buildings, and they’re probably lined up in the nearest alleyways, too. Shoulder to shoulder, packed in to try and fit everyone in as best they can; there must be thousands.' Attempting to save them, Five tries to travel back in time with all his siblings. Instead, they go forwards into the apocalypse. Klaus sees all of the ghosts.” In-Progress, 2 Works & 40,205 Words. (tw: suicide)

hell of a feeling though by AGreatPerhaps12 (Not Rated) “Klaus is never quite sure, until the moment he's getting punched in the face, whether the ghost of Ben following him around is anything more than an extremely vivid hallucination.“ Complete, 4 Chapters & 46,561 Words.

i wore his jacket for the longest time, by sharkhette (Not Rated) “So, maybe Klaus wasn’t in his right frame of mind. Maybe he hadn’t been for a long time. But Dave was dead, and that meant Klaus should be able to conjure him, one way or another. The traditional method of cleaning up his act and sitting around to wait hadn’t worked, so it was time to get imaginative.” Oneshot, 7,252 Words. (tw: suicide)

death becomes him by daemons (Mature) “Klaus Hargreeves has been surrounded, enveloped, eaten alive by death for as long as he can remember.“ In-Progress, 2 Works & 21,600 Words.

[neist]

TUA Season 2 rambling

This turned out really long, but I had to get this out.

So, rant or at least mental splurge required, I think, to try and get my head straight. About a fucking telly show that somehow matters more to me than real life right now. Because I don’t actually have a LIFE and instead live through the characters I vibe with. Which means it truly fucks me up, to the point of fighting back tears for days, even weeks, and being unable to function as anything remotely comparable to an actual human adult when THEY get fucked up.

Case in point, Ben and Klaus Hargreeves. I was LOVING season 2 for the first 6 eps. I was laughing with it, and engrossed in it, and having warm fuzzies about the sibling interactions, and Vanya and Sissy, and loving Vanya being so caring of Harlan and actually getting to have feelings other than anger and misery for once. Mr Chestnut? Yes, please- wonderful man and an absolute joy to watch him and Allison (the perfect woman). Civil rights movement? Awe inspiring and terrifying and horrific to think of what these people went through. Lila? Honestly, I really liked her, and enjoyed her scenes with Diego- I even continued to enjoy her character right through the whole Mother Gethel arc- after all, if we can see past the Hargreeves’ faults, directly resulting from them being raised by an emotionless, abusive, manipulative monster, surely Lila deserves the same consideration? She’s fucked up, and selfish, and doesn’t know how to relate to people except on a frivolous or murderous basis, but she was taking baby steps towards being better because she honestly loves Diego. Yes, it’s a selfish love, but he opened her eyes to actually thinking about someone else for the first time in her life, and you could see her actually starting to think about that.

Luther and Diego bonding and treating each other like human beings- yes. Luther and Five showing respect and concern for each other- I’ll have even more of that, please. Allison and Klaus hugging and laughing and drinking and dancing and just being tender and thoughtful towards each other- hell yes, especially when Vanya gets invited in like she always should have been.

Ben and Klaus snarking at each other and having a slap fight in the middle of a dusty road? Totally on brand and in character and funny as hell. That’s what siblings do (I know, I’m a middle child with NOTHING in common with my older sister)- we snark, and snipe and delight in watching them lose face. We give them that good old slap they’re sooo asking for, and have a good laugh about it when they realise, OK, yes, they really WERE being a dick. But as infuriating as they may be we still love them. We might trip them on their face out of spite, but there are limits to how much we can hurt them before the glee wears off and we rush to reassure and comfort them. And that’s where this season really let me down. It’s like Klaus and Ben are out to actually rip each other’s guts out. It’s not just brotherly ribbing, or even spiteful jibes, it’s not even just “done with your shit” apathy. Klaus telling their siblings that Ben isn’t there could be an amusing payback for Ben’s earlier shit with the poker game and with Dave, if it was just a temporary thing. But to cut off Ben’s only hope of interacting with his family, who only recently realised he was even still around, smirking all the while and with no intention of relenting, is a really nasty abuse of power. It’s purposefully hurtful and completely out of proportion. Yes, I know Klaus is a selfish ass, but he’s always been compassionate, and that seems to have completely gone, at least in relation to Ben.

And then there’s the possession. We knew it was coming, thankfully- that coming out of the blue would have just floored me. Yep, Klaus is still being an asshole, no doubt about it- here’s a perfect opportunity to relent and do the right thing and he’s still ignoring Ben and making out that he doesn’t exist despite his clear desperation to just talk to his family, to be acknowledged. Ben has every right to be thoroughly pissed and even spiteful, and I actually have some sympathy with him impulsively taking Klaus over- we can all make stupid decisions in the heat of the moment. But afterwards there’s not a shred of remorse for LITERALLY forcing himself on his brother, taking over his body and denying him his own bodily autonomy. Ben’s positively gleeful at tormenting Klaus with the knowledge that he fully intends to do it again as soon as Klaus is unable to stop him. It’s like the creep at the club who’s been touching your ass all night trapping you alone in the bathroom and gloating about what he’s going to do to you as soon as the club inevitably closes. And it’s played off as COMEDY. I can’t actually articulate just how vile I found that scene of Klaus’s head drooping, and every time he, panicked, jerked awake Ben, all smug and predatory, was a step closer, ready to pounce. What the hell? That was even worse than Ben’s refusal to let Klaus go later on- it showed Ben’s utter disregard for the fact that Klaus REALLY DIDN’T WANT THIS, was in fact fucking terrified of it, and not only did Ben not care about that, he was ENJOYING taunting Klaus with the inevitability of the violation.

I’ve read a few discussions of how Ben, even in season 1, was shown to feel some entitlement to Klaus’s body and life, and though I didn’t see it myself first time through I can see hints of that on rewatching. I guess it shouldn’t be a shock that Ben followed through on that. I just can’t get my head around the same person who understood, and empathised with, Klaus going back to the mausoleum in his head when he was being held and tortured, being so utterly callous towards him in season 2. Even with the provocation of Klaus being a dick, presumably for three whole years, how does the same person who was, just hours later, so caring and warm and self sacrificing towards Vanya, maliciously taunt their brother with the promise of mentally violating him?

I don’t get it, I really don’t. Like I said, I have nothing in common with my sister, and in years gone by we each would have delighted in each other’s pain, and yes, frequently would have caused it. But she’s still my SISTER and I would kill for her if necessary, and I know I can turn to her for anything. If I’m completely honest with myself she’s hurt me more in my life, caused more long term damage during our childhoods than I think even my parents did, but as an adult I’ve still been able to turn to her when I’ve needed her- when I’ve been overwhelmed by depression and unable to trust myself with so much as a butter knife she was the person I called and ended up staying with for days. Maybe that’s what’s bothering me so much about this- after years of making each other’s lives hell as kids we still love each other and will be there, but this is making me feel like I’ve called her for help in a crisis, and she’s just handed me a carving knife and told me “OK, get on with it then.”

And then, as if that wasn’t all enough, while I’m trying to come to terms with these asshole brothers cutting each other to the bone with apparent glee, Ben takes one fleeting glance back at Klaus before sinking into Vanya, showing her so much kindness, understanding and just plain LOVE, being the warmest, more caring brother and making me bubble at the tenderness and love between the two. Right then, when I’m at my most emotionally connected and vulnerable, and wishing he and Klaus could show each other an ounce of that empathy and consideration, right then is when he starts to fragment, and I KNOW the makers intended for us all to fragment right along with him, but it’s been three fucking days and I can’t stop crying. I mean that literally. I can’t work, I can’t clean or cook, I don’t even want to eat, I can’t concentrate on anything without that damn scene playing out again and I just want to scream, especially thinking about damn Sparrow Ben and his snarky emo face, ‘cos that’s not Ben and I feel like one of my best friends has just died, only I’m not allowed to mourn ‘cos it’s a fucking TV character and how stupid and pathetic can a person be to get this upset about a character dying on a TV show, but I’m sorry I don’t have a fucking life and this feels real to me, and I hate it.

[valkerymillenia]

Umbrella Academy

season 2, episode 6

I couldn't resist. More live-blogging of this episode.

My poor Allison...

Oh so that's what Handler wants from Five...

Ahah, Luther and Diego pointing out what Reggie did to Vanya and her reaction is awesome.

"no more number 1 or number 2 bullshit" -yes, Diego, baby, you're growing up! Also, him trying to bond with Luther and Vanya on his own accord is so fucking cute...

Klaus doing yoga 😆

Oh, so confirmed that the cult started by accident.

"you're a narcissist"? Ben, you've been watching him closely for 16 years, you know that's not true, you know the narcissism is just a mask, you know Klaus is actually insanely empathetic and compassionate.

Oh, wait, Ben is only saying this crap because he doesn't want Klaus to disband the cult. I get it now, Ben is the one being selfish here.

Oh, so the girl Ben likes is Jill... Boy is smitten.

Ahahah, Ben freaked out by the yoga poses 😆

Jesus, they really don't give Klaus space to breathe.

"my name is Klaus's and I'm an alcoh--- Ah, sorry, that's the wrong meeting" 🤣🤣🤣

Oh God, this is turning into a Spartacus thing... Oh, it's not.

There they go objectifying him and only hearing what they want to hear... These dudes are almost as bad as the ghosts.

Oh so it DID turn into a Spartacus thing!

Klaus tries to do the right and it always blows up in his face, huh?

Ray's priorities though 😆

Ahahah, Allison and Ray pulling a 'Pretty Women' rodeo drive scene 🤣 love it

That's a beautiful dress, Allison 😊

Wait! She's using her powers without the 'rumor' prefix! 😲 Yes!!!!!!

Oh, Allison is losing control... Is this the cost? Getting lost in the power trip? I mean, we already knew but not too this extent.

Lila, your mom is actually protecting you here. Listen to her.

Handler teasing Lila about Diego really is such a mom thing to do.

"I know you fancy yourself a spiritual guru..." - no, Ben, have you not been paying attention? That's literally what Klaus thinks he's NOT but nobody will listen to him. You're right that he needs help though.

Ok, Klaus is right. Ben keeps contradicting himself about what Klaus should do.

"you sound just like Dad" Oh, shit that's a really mean insult in this family 🥺

Holy crap, was that possession?????

That looks severely uncomfortable.

"I think I was inside of you" -.... No, no, too easy, I'm not going to say it. 🤐

DAVE?

Awww, Klaus doesn't even care about the punch.

Dave likes Dune, huh? Good taste.

Oh, the dog tags.... 😭

"it's an honor to die for my country" -no, honey, not like this

Oh shit, timeline changed, timeline changed! Dave is going to wear early. Oh no, oh no, oh no.

The shaking... Poor Klaus... How hasn't he snapped yet?

Swedes in the sauna, of course.

Strategically placed steam 😆

Ah! The Swedes FINALLY talk!

Ouch! Right for the balls. I'm starting to really like Handler.

"unharm my wiener" 🤣🤣🤣 poor boy

Handler, is this your attempt at protecting your daughter from feelings? It's twisted and evil but almost cute.

What the hell does "lavender" mean? Her perfume or something?

Southland Life?

The elevator scene! They really did all come together, I love it when Five is right.

AHAHAHAHAHAH What's with Luther and the stink jokes this season? 🤣🤣🤣🤣

'Daddy's girl' 😆

"team zero" I actually like that Diego keeps harping on the no numbers thing.

"classic" 😆

"hey pop, how's it hanging?" 🤣

"dead, yes, but I'm here! Klaus! Tell them I'm here!" -yes, please, Klaus, it's so cruel that you keep denying him that... 😣

"what are you writing?" Everybody leaning in and Diego getting all nervous. XD they are so conditioned, poor children.

The punch! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

"no, Vanya, don't!!!" Everyone is so scared of her but yet they are still making an effort to include her and that's so important!!

"oops" -that is not the smile of someone that means that oops, Vanya 😆

Reggie's sarcasm 🙄 I can see where half these siblings got their sass now.

Jesus Christ, Reginald is emotionally tearing Diego apart 😭 as much as Diego claims not to care what their father thinks, he cares, he really cares, they all do. I doesn't matter if you know that your parent is abusive, you will always have that visceral pain response of betrayal when they attack you and you will always in some way crave their approval. It's the terrible power imbalance of parental abuse.

There's the stutter! Poor Diego... Don't cry, baby...😭😭😭

Oh shit, Ben!

Reggie is not impressed. I get a feeling that they might have accidentally convinced him to NOT to adopt them...

"you in the cullotes" 😆 Reggie immediately tagged who the leader is

"I feel so violated" -why are they playing this for laughs?? It's horrible!

"oh, possession is a strong word, I'd like to say 'borrowed you'." -ok, so I get why Ben did that, Klaus pushed him too far and he got desperate. But please, PLEASE tell me Ben understands the seriousness of what he did and doesn't start abusing this ability without Klaus's consent.

ok, a serious thought now: no wonder Klaus did drugs, it was the only thing he could control in his life, the only way he had to take some control back, and this possession thing now only makes that more obvious. He has no control over his body if someone decided to take it, no control over the powers that make him see the dead everywhere, no control over his family life (the fact that Reginald locked in the mausoleum is just the tip of the iceberg in his lack of power), no control of the circumstances that killed the love of his life, no control over the masses that objectify him no matter how much he tries to tell them he isn't their savior and to leave him alone, he just has no control and nobody seems to get that, that's why him falling off the wagon is so serious and should be addressed by the family. Klaus deserves a family that cares about his suffering!!!

Congratulations to Luther for standing up to dad for the first time but Vanya is the only one with her priorities straight and goes straight to comforting Diego. And Diego immediately goes back to his passive-aggressive defense system...

I need more Diego-Vanya bonding in my life.

Poor Klaus... At least hold him properly, Luther.

I get a feeling this Grace is going to end up dying and I really don't want that to happen...

"technically I'm older than you right now" -no, Five, your not, you have no idea how old Reginald really is, he arrived in the US a full grown adult in the beginning of the century, he's inhumanly old (I never understood how he suddenly looked old in 89 when he adopted them considering that in 63 he looks almost as he did when he first arrived in the US so those decades before).

Ah, so that's what the ancient Greek was.

Reggie actually dishing out some wisdom and doing so patiently... Who is this?!

Don't you dare apologize, Five! You have nothing to apologize for!

Geez, Reggie and Five acting like they could be friends in different circumstances is actually surprisingly creepy. It also speaks to how fucked up even Five is about Reggie's abuse, even at almost 60 he's still clinging to the idea that maybe Reginald knows everything and has all the answers, he's still hoping that their suffering was for a reason and that Reginald might be proud of him. It's sad.

A cat? Are Swedes... Yes, the Swedes are in Elliot's house. Please don't let Elliot die, I like the poor weirdo.

The Swedes were more interesting when they didn't talk. (Still want to know what the glittery stuff they were drinking is).

"they do not abide women like us around here" -there or anywhere else, Sissy, it's 1963, homosexuality is literally illegal and considered a mental illness

Sissy actually makes a very good point.

Ok, this conversation is already veering their relationship into much healthier territory! Good. But now I'm scared for Sissy...

Damn, I hadn't even finished typing that last sentence and my fears were already proven right. Fucking Carl saw them.

Oh please, let Elliot be alive...

Noooooooooooo!

Damn it, I liked Elliot. He was so good to this family... 😩😠😢

"öga för öga"? Seeing as Elliot has something stuck in his eye, I'm going to guess that means 'eye for an eye' or something?

Ok, I googled it, yes, it's 'eye for an eye'.

I LOVE THIS HANDLER DRESS! 🤩

1982, huh? I'm guessing where about to see badass Five? I hope so.

[not-looking-for-happy]

The Last Equation: Chapter 10 - Recruit Number 2 and 3

Summary:  Grei and Professor Wallace are closely observing recruit #2. Meanwhile, Five and Hazel time-travels to get recruit #3.

For a downloadable format, click here.

Click here for the entire work.

Story is also now available in Wattpad.

Two days have passed after Five requested Hazel’s aid in destroying the Commissions. Within these days, Grei and the professor had been doing nothing but taking turns on watching over their ‘Recruit Number 2’.

From going to school, going to the grocery, dumping the garbage, and playing hero outside the boy’s garden, Grei and Professor Wallace would interchangeably observe him secretly. Fortunately, for the past two days of their observation, the boy has been quite reserved, never looking out for trouble and always positively looking at things.

No matter how much painful words and harrowing treatment he would receive from his father every single day, the boy would still sit contentedly at his room as he reads the comic books he purchased behind his father’s back. Careful not to make suspicious sounds that might lead to his father discovering his little comic stash, he would silently smile and giggle from time to time.

“Hasn’t he been reading that comic book too many times in just a few spans of days now? Wouldn’t it be better if he reads another issue?” asked the old man as he whispers to his daughter beside him.

“Can’t blame him for being a fan now, can we? Besides, it’s not like his father would gladly buy him some stuff.”

“Poor kid. He’s kind deep down inside, it’s no wonder he ended up like that in the future,” the old man replied, sniffing his nose.

“That’s why we’re here, aren’t we? To stop him from going sideways. And besides, what are you still doing here? I thought we already agreed to take turns in observing Harold?” Grei stated while frowning vehemently at her father.

“Oh, come on now! It’s not like we’ll get caught. Is it so wrong for a father to spend some quality moments with his daughter?”

“I wouldn’t call this ‘quality moment’ but, fine. Suit yourself.”

Knowing how stubborn her father is, she decides to sit silently on her seat. Compared to observing Harold alone where she has to find hidden spots so as not to get caught, waiting inside a car is way better and more comfortable. Add the fact that his father likes to dote on her whenever he has the chance to. Besides, once the Hargreeves siblings will be sent back to the current timeline, she as well would have no chance to meet his father more often at all.

“I’d say, this young kid has a strong spirit. Look at him being happy despite everything he’s going through. His mother’s gone and his father, well…” Professor paused for a moment to try to find the right words to describe Harold’s father.

“He’s an a**hole. That’s all he is,” Grei responded. “Look at him, he’s pathetic. He’s not taking care of his only son. It’s not even the boy’s fault that his mother died.

“Language!”

“Can’t be helped. It’s the best word to describe him.”

“You seem to be very angry at his father,” Professor Wallace mentioned as he notices the sudden change in Grei’s expression.

“He’s just too horrible. How can a father do something like that to his son? I’m not even surprised anymore that Harold killed him.”

“It can’t be helped. We’re in a world where we can’t choose our parents.”

“I guess I got lucky then. My biological parents abandoned me but I was chosen by you.”

Professor Wallace gasps in his seat, unable to utter a single word on what he just heard.

“Hello? You still there?”

“I thought for a second that this was all a dream,” Professor responded, still surprised.

“You said you want ‘quality moments’, now I’m giving you one,” Grei said teasingly.

“Yes, I’d really like that.”

The next few hours went by without the two of them noticing. It was already dark when Harold steps outside his house, a trash bag clutched on his hands as he walks slowly towards the nearest dump near an alleyway across their house.

Grei is struggling internally for the past few days that she’s been observing Harold. Not only would his father neglect him, but he would also recklessly hit him on his drunken stupor. At times, observing the kid becomes too painful that she has to close her eyes and listen to his cries at night.

Regardless, at this point, she has to remain an outsider. It is not yet the time to let the boy know that someone’s constantly watching over him. She wanted to hug him, to comfort him, and let him know that he did not deserve any of those bad things to happen. Sadly, for now, all she could do is watch.

Please bear with it for a little longer. In a short while, you’ll get to wake up from this never-ending nightmare.

*******

Meanwhile, at the professor’s mansion house, Five and Hazel are both cooped up. For Hazel, he felt like he luckily got a VIP pass. He’s now sitting right in front of the person idolized by many agents in the temps. He wouldn’t say it out loud, but every time Five would successfully escape him and her partner’s grasp in the past, he would think to himself that he is indeed a legend.

Back when he’s still working for the Commissions, he would hear rumors about Five and his accomplishments within the organization. Not to brag but Hazel himself thinks he is one of the top agents and to hear someone who started later than he complete so many missions splendidly ticks him off.

“I bet those are just exaggerated rumors. Survivor of the apocalypse? Can time-travel without the briefcase? Must be nice not to be bringing around this heavy briefcase with you all the time,” Hazel grumbled while listening to Cha-Cha’s story about Five.

“I’m telling you, these are not just rumors. They’re written reports I read because I got curious,” Cha-Cha replied at his partner who seems to take her words like total crap.

Hazel could not believe the rest of Cha-Cha’s statements. And just like her, he got curious too. And for the first time since joining the Commissions, he would secretly drop by at the case files room just so he could read every written report there is about Five, an action he has never done before. So, if there is anyone among the organization who knows every detail of Five’s missions, it’s him. Needless to say, he won’t tell Five that he is secretly 'fanboys’ behind his back.

Hazel’s thoughts are completely disrupted when he felt Five’s gaze.

“Are you okay? Do you still have any questions?” Five asked.

“Nope, none at all,” he replied, trying to hide his embarrassment.

Fortunately for Hazel, Five is not good at reading people’s thoughts by simply looking at their expressions. Also, he once told Five that he’s his fan in a lighter tone, which by the way is a lie because he’s not just a fan, he’s a super fan. But knowing the tiny old man’s personality, he’ll probably be creeped out. This is a secret he’ll bury together with him in his grave. For now, assisting Five in stopping the organization and saving the world is enough for him.

“Let’s go. There’s no time to waste,” Five said as he urges Hazel to move closer towards the briefcase he’s holding in his right hand.

A blue light disappears as soon as it appears. On that night, the two men, set on a mission disappeared on that timeline in the blink of an eye.

*******

It’s a feeling very familiar with Hazel, and yet, it’s still nostalgic. It’s been three years since he time-traveled and to be doing it once again left an exhilarating feeling inside him. Not to mention, his partner is now Five and they won’t be killing but saving someone, which is a bonus.

“February 1, 1968. A Shau valley, 3 AM,” Five said to remind the two of them of the time and place where they time-traveled.

“This is one hell of a place to be.”

“I know. But this is better than having no place at all,” Five whispered to himself as he walks towards a nearby encampment.

“Do you know his face? That Recruit number 3 guy?” Hazel asked as he follows Five.

“Nope. All I know is the complete name. Klaus told me,” Five replied. “Which is why we arrived earlier to identify him. There are thousands of soldiers here. We need to know his exact location before the ceasefire ends. We wouldn’t want to be riddled with bullets and dying in the wrong timeline.”

“What shall we do now?”

“We need a place to hide, a meeting place. I’ll be looking for Dave. We could search together but two persons jumping on tents early this morning might cause a raucous.”

As soon as Hazel and Five agreed on an assembly point, Five vanishes instantly. Hazel sits silently in the dark while carefully observing the situation. They chose the assembly point a few meters away from the soldiers’ camp on top of a hill so Hazel could have more or less an idea where Five is going to.

It’s quite a sight. Seeing a tiny flicker from afar blink from tents after tents. In some tents, Five would be spending quite some time and for others, he would be gone in just a few seconds. One might expect that this would be a boring job for Hazel, but it’s not. For the first time in his life, he’s thankful he became part of the Commissions. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have been recruited by Five and guarding the briefcase that the professor owns which will play a major role in this mission.

Ugh, should have bought some doughnuts.

After three hours of non-stop searching, Five manages to identify Dave’s location. Additionally, he manages to find food rations and coffee for both of them.

“Finally found him, but I haven’t talked to him yet. Seeing a kid in this place might surprise him,” Five presumed. He sits beside Hazel. “I brought us some food as well.”

“Got it,” Hazel responded.

Hazel and Five have a precise, if not exact, idea of the time in which Dave will die. The mission will be to stop it happening seconds before it happened. In this mission, failure is definitely not an option.

Time goes by while they wait patiently. Surprisingly, Five is telling Hazel instances of his previous missions that are not written in reports. Hazel was all ears, silently wishing that he had brought pen and paper with him. Maybe, due to the atmosphere, Five is reminiscing the good old days back when he’s still working for the organization.

Their conversation was discontinued when they heard gunshots from a distant location.

“It’s time,” Five spoke. “Let’s go.”

Five blinked himself and Hazel in a nearby tent. They remained hidden for a few moments. Gunshots and loud voices coming from every direction can be heard. Being veteran agents in the Commissions, both Five and Hazel are pretty calm while observing the situations unfolding before their eyes. The two of them are well-hidden. Most probably, Five also looked for places where they could conveniently hide.

As expected, this guy's a legend.

Five was silently looking at his wristwatch, precisely calculating the time to execute the mission and calibrating the briefcase while Hazel is covering for him to make sure no one has taken notice of them. In this chaos, being able to think accurately is a must. As mentioned before, failure is not an option.

The situation, however, doesn’t seem to faze him. It’s like Five is in a different dimension right now, surrounded by equations necessary to do what has to be done. And then, he raised his head, gazes towards Hazel signaling him that the time has come. He gently tapped Five’s shoulder and the two of them vanished at the same time.

What Hazel witnessed is a scenery he has never witnessed before. The professor and Five already explained to him what the briefcase can do other than time-travel but seeing it in practice did not stop him from being amazed. Contrary to what is expected, no sounds are being heard. The bullets flying in every direction are suspended mid-air. All the soldiers who are vigorously moving about the field stopped moving completely.

Five, on the other hand, is not even astounded of what has occurred.

“Right on time. I’d say, perfect,” Five said to himself as he saw Dave crouched on the elevated ground.

Hazel followed suit while he commits every detail of this scenery in his memory.

Dave stands slowly, unable to follow what has occurred. However, there is one thing he is sure of, that whatever’s happening in this instant has something to do with the two figures who suddenly appeared behind him.

“Who are you? What have you done? You've caused this, right?” Dave asked, his hands tightly holding his gun.

“I’d like to discuss the actual calculations but you wouldn’t understand it, so let’s just say that we literally stopped time,” Five replied nonchalantly.

“Look around you, everything stopped moving. Well, except for the three of us,” Hazel added.

“What do you want from me, then?”

“While it’s good that we are progressing quickly with the conversation, let’s change locations, shall we? It’s not like we can stop time endlessly.”

“Sorry, pal. Let me touch your shoulder a bit,” Hazel said as he approaches Dave whose still on guard. ”Drop the gun, please. We’re not here to hurt you.”

“Hurry up, we don’t have the time.”

Seeing that Five is already annoyed, Dave decides to drop the gun and let Hazel touch his shoulder. Right about now, agreeing to go with these two people is a better option than dying. As soon as he did, there was a sharp pain delivered across his entire body, like thousand needles punctured onto him all at the same time. And as he opens his eyes, the dark valley turned into a well-lit room, with books all around it, a table and some chairs, and finally, the two figures he met in Vietnam are still with him.

“What just happened?” Dave asked as he endures the discomfort he’s feeling. “Hi, I’m Five. I'm a 52-year old man trapped in a 13-year old body. And this is Hazel,” Five explained while gesturing towards Hazel. “I’m your lover’s brother, by the way.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Hazel, can you do the honor?” Five requested, seeing that this will be a long conversation. “I’m gonna go and get some coffee.”

Five exits the room silently. Dave and Hazel are left in the room as they stare awkwardly at each other.

“Before everything else, why don’t we take a sit? I’ll tell you everything.”

Luckily for Five, Hazel seems to do everything he told him to without questions being asked. Not to mention, he’s really bad at this “explain-the-whole-situation” thing. To make it up to him, Five decides to go outside the mansion house to buy some doughnuts. He noticed how Hazel loves doughnuts, especially at the Griddy’s. Before leaving, he left the pot of coffee and two cups outside the office, knocks gently at the door, and disappears.

Five was gone for two hours. Before he could go back to the mansion, he decides to drop by at the academy without anyone noticing. Vanya is having combat training with Allison and Luther in the basement, an essential training their father didn't bother teaching her because she won't be part of any missions. Klaus, Diego, and Ben are having a conversation at Diego’s room about his knives. Upon seeing that his siblings seem to be doing good, he walks silently towards Klaus’s room and left a note. Without letting anyone notice him, he vanished into thin air.

*******

By the time Five enters the professor’s office once again, Dave and Hazel are still talking. This time though, Dave seems to be more comfortable with his surroundings now.

“You’ve been gone for hours. What took you so long?” Hazel asked as soon as he notices Five entering the room.

“I bought you these,” Five replied while carrying a paper bag on his hand.

When Hazel realizes what Five has brought, he immediately seizes the paper bag and digs his hand inside.

“This guy's pretty easy to talk to. He caught up with everything quickly. As expected of a soldier, I guess. Want some?” Hazel offers to Dave as he pulls a piece of doughnut from the paper bag.

Dave simply nods and accepts the doughnut given by Hazel. The two of them eat silently while Five is drinking his coffee.

“So,” Dave started. “Your name is Five, right? About you being my lover’s brother, is that true? Will she be my girlfriend in the future?”

“Technically, it’s all in the past now. It’s been undone. And I included you in this mission so you and my brother can meet again. His name is Klaus, by the way.”

“Brother?”

“Yes, brother. He’s a dude,” Hazel butted in, his voice muffled by the doughnut he’s eating.

“Oh.”

It is the only word Dave could utter. Probably, he already had a slight idea of his gender. However, being raised in a family where all men are to be soldiers, he had suppressed all those tiny feelings he’s had in the past.

“Well, can I meet him?” Dave asked.

“Not yet. It’s a bit complicated. Not in this timeline, at least. We are of the same age and meeting your future boyfriend in his 13-year old body is a bit…” Five explained. “You know what I mean.”

“Can you at least tell me something about him?”

Five smiled at Dave’s question. At least, Dave has accepted the fact that he is his brother’s lover. He can’t even imagine how happy Klaus would be when he founds out that Dave is already together with him.

“That, I can do,” Five replied gently.

“Well then, I guess I’ll leave the two of you alone. Sorry, pal, that’s the part of the story that I’m not aware of,” Hazel said while tapping Dave’s shoulder.

“Well, where to begin?”

In a minute or two, Dave is already bursting in laughter. Hazel could faintly hear the lively discussion that the two are having. He missed that kind of atmosphere, with Agnes not being by his side right now. But he has decided to went through with this precisely for her sake.

I’ll endure for now. I’ll meet her again as soon as this mission ends.

And as his thoughts are flooded by memories of Agnes, he sits silently inside a room right across the professor’s office where Five and Dave are talking. Just like any other night, this will probably end up being a long one.

[forehead-enthusiast]

A Buncha Tag Games (and yet not all of them)

tagged by: @eggyukhei mwah

tagging: this is a LOT of games so i’ll only tag @atinyphobe @nsheetee and @veonjun for the SECOND (2nd) game. if they or anybody wants to do any of the other games, absolutely go for it and say i tagged you <3 i’d love to see what you guys say!! (also, tk if you felt like you wanted to answer my questions from the second game i’d be interested to see!)

One:

tell me the first song that made you stan your current fave group and why did your faves attract you so much?

ok SO the song that probably got me into rv 100% (also yes ik this blog is 99% nct but rv is my forever fave no question) was probably ice cream cake!! i had been a casual listener of many groups up until that point and had never really stanned anyone, but icc was so infectious i found myself watching it over and over. i had heard happiness and be natural before but hadn’t really listened too closely, so icc was the song that captured me. after that, dumb dumb only cemented my love for them more, and the red is still one of my favorite kpop albums to date. rv attracted me primarily because of their incredible vocals and their versatility in genres and concepts. i still get so excited wondering what they’ll tackle next!! they’re just soooo unique and have one of, if not the best discographies of any group. i cannot stress enough, I. Love. RV!! also they’re funny and gay so. anyway stream monster once it drops uwu

Two:

rule: answer the ten questions and write your own!

1. what is your favorite song that’s been released during quarantine? ooooo honestly??? probably something off of Sawayama. literally every song bangs so hard i highly recommend that album to anyone!! i can’t pick a favorite off it but who’s gonna save you now is awesome and xs is just,,, chef’s kiss

2. what is your greatest mishap when you tried cooking? (or something you’ve witnessed) one time, while making soup at my late grandmother’s house on her like gas stove, i put a lid on a pot and somehow that led the pot to be engulfed in flames. IN MY DEFENSE i was like 7, and i’m great at cooking/baking now

3. what’s your go-to outfit or article of clothing? oh i love a nice dress. they can be casual or formal, and you look like you put effort into your outfit except i didn’t because i didn’t have to match anything yo!!!! also shorts have trouble fitting me cause i’m a weird body type so dresses tend to be very comfy for me

4. what is your comfort food? am i allowed to say like all food??? eating in itself is comforting,,, that sounds depressing but also i just like eating yummy food. i guess i’d say like my dad’s fried rice?? its my fave and no one makes it like him soooo

5. what singular moment in your life would you like to relive? i couldn’t tell if this meant like, a good moment you want to re-experience or go back in time and redo a moment and fix it. it’s kind of a hard question so i might cop out and go with a bit of a silly answer: i want to relive the hi touch with astro...... i wanna look at rocky’s beautiful eyes and touch moonbin’s hand ok,,,,

6. what is your favorite line and/or character from a movie, show, or book? i got a bunch but a few off the top of my head are genie lo (the epic crush of genie lo), ty lee, suki (atla), klaus, and ben (umbrella academy) 

7. if you could only choose one ice cream flavor and pizza topping/style for the rest of your life, what would it be? ice cream flavor: this very specific one from a local store that is banana ice cream with strawberries and oreo mixed in. it is heaaaavenly. as for pizza topping, i love a breakfast type pizza with an egg on top and like sausage and stuff!!!

8. what is the worst injury you’ve ever had or witnessed? funny enough, i’ve actually gotten badly injured quite a few times, and always on the face!! god hates me. the worst was probably when i hit a metal bench with my face and it took a chunk out of my cheek. i still have the scar! as for “witnessed” i accidentally broke a grown man’s rib once as a child, so i guess that would count.

9. would you rather explore the unknown of space or the bottom of the ocean? oceaaaan!! i answered this in some other game, but i like how mysterious and yet close the ocean is. like proximity wise it’s so near, yet there’s an insane amount we know nothing about. that’s so frightening but so intriguing

10. if you could be any cartoon character, who would you be? my first thought was literally “kirby. eat fast” GOD my followers are gonna think i’m just a glutton and they’re not even gonna be wrong im dying. but uhh idk mulan or smth?

my questions:

what is your go-to feel good movie?

are you the type of person who’s indecisive about buying, or the type to impulse buy once you see something you like?

do you prefer chocolate-y or fruity candy?

what idol do you think is most similar to you? (not your bias necessarily)

do you have any silly dealbreakers? if so, what are they?

what do you do to unwind?

what is a small thing you like to do for people you love? (be it sending memes, remembering their favorite shows, etc)

what’s/who’s your favorite myth/mythological being?

what is a non-typical pet you would want to have?

do you say pronounce data as day-ta or dah-ta?

THREE

rule: bold the statements that apply to you, italicize your aspirations, then tag nine people. 

AIR ༉⋆͙̈

i have small hands / i love the night sky / i watch animals and birds when i pass them by / i drink herbal tea / i wake to see the dawn / the smell of dust is comforting / i’m valued for being wise / i prefer books to music / i meditate / i find joy in learning new truths from the world around me

FIRE ༉⋆͙̈

i don’t have straight hair / i like to wear ripped jeans and overalls / i play an organized sport / i love dogs / i am not afraid of adventure / i love to talk to strangers / i always try new foods / i enjoy road trips / summer is my favorite season / my radio is always playing

WATER ༉⋆͙̈

i wear bracelets on my wrists / i love the bustle of the city / i have more than one set of piercings / i read poetry / i love the sound of a thunderstorm / i want to travel the world / i sleep past midday most days / i love simply lit dinners and fluorescent signs / i rewatch kids shows out of nostalgia / i see emotions in colors not words

EARTH ༉⋆͙̈

i wear glasses or contacts / i enjoy doing the laundry / i am a vegetarian or vegan / i have an excellent sense of time / my humor is very cheerful / i am a valued advisor to my friends / i believe in true love / i love this chill of mountain air / i’m always listening to music / i am highly trusted by the people in my life

AETHER ༉⋆͙̈

i go without makeup in my daily life / i make my own artwork / i keep on track of my tasks and time / i always know true north / i see beauty in everything / i can always smell flowers / i smile at everyone i pass by / i always fear history repeating itself / i have recovered from a mental disorder / i can love unconditionally

FOUR

the ultimate tag: answer whichever ones you want to because there are a lot and then tag a few blogs you’d like to get to know better! 

PERSONAL

name: sarah

nickname: bells

birthday: april 17th

zodiac: aries

nationality: chinese american

languages: english, some spanish, some korean

gender: female

sexuality: baby bi bi bi~

height: 5′10

BLOG STUFF

inspiration for muse: i suppose nct since i write for them the most?? but i feel like sometimes i come up with the idea before i think of a member so sometimes the muse is just my own fantasies oops

meaning behind my url: i made it at a time where loads of idols were getting bangs and honestly i believe most of them look infinitely better without them, thus i was and still am enthusiastic about foreheads.

blog established: like winter of 2018...?? i think

followers: over 2.5k but most deactivated/left during my hiatus lol

FAVORITES

favourite animals: sharks, chickens, snakes, cats, penguins

favourite books: the epic crush of genie lo and then iron will of genie lo, PERIOD

favourite colour: pink and purple!!

favourite fictional characters: lol, again, genie lo, ty lee, suki, klaus, ben, and just a few more: richard and evelyn o’connell (the mummy), dave (dave), michael (the good place)

favourite flower: sunflower

favourite scent: baking chocolate, heating butter, blackberry, wisteria

favourite season: probably spring! i like warmth but not HEAT

RANDOM

average hours of sleep: ugh idek i sleep horribly

cats or dogs: both, but unfortunately i’ve never had either

coffee, tea or hot chocolate: tea but then hot chocolate

current time: 5:29pm

dream trip: go to paris and eat loads of pastries and enjoy the fashions and beauty of the city, and also learn to bake better maybe?

dream job: actress

hobbies: making jewelry, drawing, singing, reading comics

hogwarts house: according to the quizzes, all of them. people who have just met me think slytherin or gryffindor, people who i’m friends with think ravenclaw or hufflepuff, people who know me really well know you can’t box a person into oversimplified archetypes :’) in my assessment of myself, it varies by the day, but i think perhaps gryffindor today?

last movie watched: hot fuzz (a classic)

last song listened to: summer breeze by sf9

no. of blankets you sleep with: like 2

random fact(s): i won lego building competitions as a child, one of my dream roles is anastasia from the musical named after her, i played violin for a very short time, i bake the cakes for all my family and friends’ birthdays, i have strangely strong grip strength

SIX

10 songs i can’t stop listening to:

love me 4 me- rina sawayama

cherry- rina sawayama

in & out- red velvet

crush culture- conan gray

manic- conan gray

the king- conan gray

summer- pentagon

told you now- jeremy jordan (originally sung by sam smith)

fuck this world (interlude)- rina sawayama

someone who loves me- sara bareilles

[indigosquid]

5 Shows and Some Questions

Rules: Pick 5 shows, then answer the following questions. Don’t cheat. Tag 10 (or however many) people.

I was tagged by @wynafryd-manderly​ for this, thank you so much! You have no idea what you’ve brought upon us all, because boy do I love talking about my favourite tv shows.

1. The Witcher 2. The Umbrella Academy 3. Game of Thrones 4. Misfits 5. Criminal Minds

Who is your favorite character in 2? I know it’s the super obvious answer, but Klaus of course. I mean, Robert Sheehan was the reason the show got on my radar before it came out, and boy did he not dissapoint, and I can’t wait to see how they’ll develop his character in season 2 (trailer pls netflix). Though, I have read the comics in the mean time, and suprisingly Allison is my favourite in that version.

Who is your least favorite character in 1? Well, there’s only been one season so far, and I know from playing the games she gets more and more interesting and gets more stuff to do as the story goes, but for now I have to say Ciri. But I already know she’s gonna be a blast next season, trainig at Kaer Morhen, and I am extremely looking forward to seeing her dynamic with Geralt play out.

What is your favorite episode of 4? Misfits only has 13 episodes (I like to pretend only season 1 & 2 exist) and they’re all golden, but I have to go with season 2 episode 1, aka the one with the döppelganger plotline. Once again, they’re all great, but this is the one I come back two when I just want to watch an episode real quick (misfits is kind of my comfort show). Shout out though to episode 3 of season 2, aka the one where they made the fandom’s favourite slash ship canon for an episode with the nathan-gets-a-magical-tattoo-which-makes-him-hopelessly-and-sluttily-fall-in-love-with-simon storyline

What is your favorite season of 5? season 2, definitely. The show really got its footing here after season 1, has the best roster of agents (Reid, Morgan, Hotch, Rossi, Emily, JJ and Garcia) and has the angstiest, whumpiest, storyline in the history of crime procedural shows with Reid’s kidnapping and his subsequent Dilaudid addiction. Oh, how I miss the times when Criminal Minds was still great.

Who is your favorite couple in 3? Robb and Theon till I die. One of those ships that I didn’t necessarily need to be canon in the story itself (there wasn’t really any room) but is great for AU and fix-it fic. Love me a modern Throbb AU with some background past Thramsay for a dash of angst

Who is your favorite couple in 2? Let’s be wholesome and say Klaus and Dave, because we need more Klaus and Dave, but I kind of like Kliego? I know it’s not entirely ethically responsible, but remember kids, liking a ship doesn’t mean you endorse it in real life and if Allison and Luther get to be in a semi-incestious relationship, so can Klaus and Diego

What is your favorite episode of 1? Bottled Appetites, because the gang’s all together for the first time, and lots of great Jaskier content

What is your favorite episode of 5? Oh god, there’s like, more than 300 episodes. But I have to say 2x15 Revelations, because angst (but pretty much every Reid centric episode is my favourite)

What is your favorite season of 2? Well.. there’s only one so far sooo

How long have you watched 1? Once again, only one season out so far, but I jumped on the bandwagon pretty early, about 2 days after it came out I binged the entire first season in one evening because I’m a big fan of Witcher 3

How did you become interested in 3? There really was no escaping game of thrones in our cultural landscape ever since it came out, but when I first watched it around season 1 I fell asleep during a political mumbo-jumbo scene and stopped watching after that. But then my dad and my sister were binging season 3 in the living room one day and I caught some of Theon’s scenes and I was like... okay let’s give this another shot

Who is your favorite actor in 4? I started watching Misfits because I was making my way through Iwan Rheon’s filmography after seeing him on game of thrones but let’s be real, it’s Robert Sheehan.

Which do you prefer, 1, 2, or 5? I’m all on board the Witcher train right now, but Criminal Minds will always have a special place in my heart as my first real fandom

Which show have you seen more episodes of, 1 or 3: Not really a fair comparison, so Game of Thones by default

If you could be anyone from 4, who would you be? Nathan Young, purely for his power of immortality because I aaaam irrationally scared of dying

Would a crossover between 3 and 4 work? Not a crossover per se, but I still have a very, very detailed Game of Thrones Misfits AU that I’m really proud of outlined in my notes that I never got around to writing. I might get around to posting a lil pitch on here soon.

Pair two characters in 1 who would make an unlikely but strangely okay couple? I’m cheating by using a character that hasn’t showed up in the show yet, but boy do I love the rarepair of Jaskier and Lambert.

Overall, which show has the better storyline, 3 or 5? Not a really fair comparison because criminal minds barely has an overall storyline, and ever since season 6 with the switch of show runners the storylines they did have were kind of crap, but Game of Thrones nose-dived around season 5, so I guess by default I’ll have to give it to GOT only on the grounds that it actually has an overall storyline

Which has better theme music, 2 or 4? Ooooh now this is difficult. Both don’t have an awful lot of original music, but what they have is great and unique, and both have an excellent selection of perfectly picked existing songs for their main soundtrack. They both introduced me to a lot of great songs that I never would have come across otherwise, but I’ll give it to Misfits because I can immediatly recall Misfits’ main theme right now but can’t remember any of Umbrella Academy’s OG music (though I do know I really love that original piece from the season finale

I tag @eternallyaltered​, @wynafryd-manderly​, @forbiddenhero​ @calyssmarviss​ @bateyjoey​ @mimitheflame​ @ilylynnbelle​

I know I already tagged some of you guys in one of these yesterday, but I’m sure yall don’t mind (right?)

[walkineternity]

Day 3: Delirium

(The Umbrella Academy x Sandman)

Klaus knew he was in trouble.

He had overdosed again. He tried to stay clean, for Ben and Vanya, for his other siblings, and for Dave. He so very much wanted to see Dave.

 But. He tried, okay. Tried so very fucking hard, and everyone was so focussed on Vanya that his efforts weren’t exactly…supported. Ben, of course, knew. And Klaus was grateful to have him. And he didn’t really blame everyone for not paying attention to him. They never really did that in the first place, unless he was causing trouble. And this time, it was because Vanya had nearly ended the world and he got that. He really did. He was trying to be there for them.

 But. He was an addict, okay. He can admit that. And…it was so hard to stay clean. He was so fucking high right now. He was so fucking sick right now. And Ben was yelling at him again.

 “Fuck! I can’t do this again, Klaus! You were doing so well! Fuck! I can’t even pick up the phone to call the ambulance can I! No! You are going to die in this alleyway and then I’m going to have nobody to talk to and, and, and you can’t leave me alone! Please, Klaus, please! Shit, okay, I’m going to try and get help, okay? I’m going to try.”

 Klaus felt himself drift. Ben was still talking, but then suddenly everything was quiet. He didn’t really get how he could still hear Ben with all the drugs in his system, but the other spirits had quieted down. And now, finally, Ben was gone too. He was going to die alone. Like he fucking deserved. His eyes shut, closing over tears that never fell and let the fog take him…

 Next thing he knew there was something licking his face. Okay, still alive. Still dying. Probably. He opened his eyes.

 Well. Where was he? This wasn’t the alleyway anymore. Maybe he wasn’t dying and he was already dead. But this wasn’t heaven. This was…he wasn’t sure. There were explosions of colours and shapes twisting in and out of existence and he felt simultaneously the highest he’s ever been and stone cold sober. He felt like he was awake and dreaming at the same time.

 And in the midst of all this madness, there was a rather ordinary looking dog, who was licking his face.

 “Well, hey there, boy. You wouldn’t happen to know the way back to reality now, would you?”

 He didn’t know what to expect at this point. And yet it still startled him when the dog stopped licking his face and spoke back. “Ah. You’re awake. Good. You don’t taste very good.”

 Klaus frowned. “Actually, I’m a snack. A delicious- wait. I’m…awake.” He sits up and looks around. Nothing was solid. There was no up and no down and he had no clue what he was sitting on because reality kept changing. Okay, he was definitely going crazy. “I don’t think I’m awake.”

 “Hm. Well. In a manner of speaking. And in another, you’re dead.”

 “Huh.”

 “You don’t sound surprised.”

 “Well, I’ve been dead before. And really, I was asking for it anyways.”

 The dog tilted its head, considering him, “I should be more specific. You’re only mostly dead, this time. This isn’t Death’s realm, but her sister’s.”

 “…mostly dead? What am I? The man in black now?” Klaus hadn’t seen the movie until his teens, when he was homeless and couch-surfing. Or rather bed-surfing. And old lover had the movie on VHS.

 “I don’t know what that means.” The dog huffed and then said, “I’m Barnabas, by the way. Not that you asked.”

 “Aw, what an adorable name!” Klaus tried to pet him, but Barnabas looked mildly offended and ducked his head away. He looked like he was about to say something snippy when a bunch of brightly coloured fish swam past his head. Klaus had been trying to ignore his surroundings for the sake of his own sanity, but this caught his attention.

 And then the…strangest voice followed after. “Ohhh, fishies! Come back here! …Hi, Barnabas!” He couldn’t really describe it. He could understand it, and for the most part it sounded like a young women’s voice, but something was distinctly…otherworldly. The voice sounded how this world looked. Chaotic, ever-changing, pitches and stresses in all the wrong places. It would have been called musical, if it wasn’t so discordant.

 And then a figure stepped out of the swirls of colours and then he realised that nothing was ever going to make sense in here. She was colourful herself. Rainbow hair cut in an odd style. Two different coloured eyes and the oddest combination of clothes.

 Though, honestly, he couldn’t say anything about his clothes. Currently, he was sporting the same outfit he wore in the real world and, frankly, wasn’t to off from this figure’s choice of clothes.

 Well, at least they had something in common. “Nice shoes,” he tries.

 The woman (girl? Young lady?) was talking to the dog and the fish, but turned to him at the sound of his voice. She drifted closer and peered down at him.

 “Well, hello there, traveler. You seem a little lost.”

 Klaus shrugged. She giggled. “Welllll, I suppose that’s, uh, that’s what you call life, now, isn’t it? Just a little bit lost and a lot bit lost! Go-ing on Forever!”

 Barnabas came a bit closer to her, to sit beside her, not quite touching, but close. Like he meant to offer her comfort. She absentmindedly scratched his ears, but still didn’t look away from Klaus. Oh, was he supposed to offer a reply?

“Well, I’m hoping that’s not the case. I’ve been trying, lately, you see, to settle down a bit. Stay clean and, y’know, be there for my family. Try to…have a home, a proper one.” His voice grew more unsure as he continued to speak.

 She was staring at him as he spoke, but not in his eyes. Just looking there briefly and then looking at his shirt and then his hair. Listening, but just couldn’t keep completely still. As she did, her nail polish changed colour and her ears changed shape and the rainbow in her hair shifted. This whole place was topsy-turvy. Strange how a talking dog named Barnabas was the sanest thing in here.

 She looked back up briefly into his eyes and then down at her feet. “It’s Nice to do things for fa-mi-ly. I have many Siblings too. I like to help them sometimes. You said I have nice shoes. Would you like to wear them? We can trade!”

 “Um.” Klaus wasn’t really sure what to say. “I don’t think our feet are the same size?”

 She frowned. “Oh, what does that matter? Its just for fuunnn. C’mon!” And she proceeded to take off her shoes. Which, were just as colourful as her hair. Rainbow boots that had really neat buckles shaped like the fish that swam around their heads.

 His were a solid black heel, stolen from Allison. They pinched his toes, not being the proper size, but they made his legs look gorgeous.

 Allison probably wasn’t going to be happy to learn her shoes were traded away, but then again, she probably wasn’t going to be happy with him either way. If he ever made it back, that is.

 He decided he should probably say all that out loud, and then he did, because they really weren’t his shoes, but the girl in front of him just sat down to better take of her shoes. “Oh, you’ll get out of Here eventu-ally. I like you, but you’re not mine to keep.” She finally managed to pull off both her boots. She was wearing mismatched socks, but those seemed to vanish. “And your family is just worried about you. If your sssister is mad, it’s only because she cares. You should ask them for help.”

 He shrugged and easily kicked off his own shoes, accidently kicking it too close to Barnabas. The dog just looked long-suffering.

 “They just think I’m useless and crazy. Well, maybe not Ben, but I’m not exactly doing my best there, y’know? He deserves to follow someone else around. Someone who won’t disappoint him again.”

 The girl hummed. “They say I’m crazzzzy too. But that’s alright. Mad-ness isn’t always a Bad thing….it helps when I know too much. Sometimes its nice to have a break from san-i-ty.” Here she started to slip on the heels and gestured at the boots, so Klaus grabbed one and put it on, stamping a little to get his heel in. Huh. Perfect fit. She continued, “And just because I’m mad, doesn’t mean my siblings don’t care about me. Doesn’t mean I don’t care about them. We aallll make mistakes, even Beings such as us, even little ones such as you, and we…oh, shoot, Barnabas! What’s the word? The- the Big one.”

 She glanced around as if the word she was looking for would suddenly appear. “You know. When the butterflies are iiiinn your body instead of outside them. Like stepping off the edge of a cliff, but knowing there is Someone to catch you, or for you to catch them.”

 Barnabas opened his mouth to say something, but she snapped her fingers (which made Klaus do a doubletake when the snap sound created visual shockwaves of colour, like they were in some sort of comic book), and then said, “Oh! Love! It’s lo-ve. We all love each other the same. They loved me when I was Delight, and they still love me as Delirium. I mean, look at Bar-na-bas!” She gestured with a heel in her hand. The dog sat a little straighter. “He was a gift to me from one of my bro-thers, to care and look afterrr me, and we’ve become such good friends! Destruction cares in his own way, and I know your siblings do too. You just got-ta….gotta ask, okay?”

 Barnabas smiled slightly. It looked a bit weird on a dog, but it seemed gentle. “I think we are the very best friends, my dear Delirium.”

 She put the other heel on and bounced up onto them, smiling at them both, at the world around them, at the tiny fish swimming above her head. The black of the heels swirled with spots of colour, but mostly stayed the same.

 Klaus finished doing up the buckles on both shoes and stood up too. He reached a hand up and the fish swam through his fingers and around his arm. The rainbow shoes felt warm and comfortable on his feet. He felt a bit giddy. He gave her a big grin and said, “Yeah. Okay. Sure. If I ever manage to get out of here, I’ll ask. Why not!”

 She gave him a grin in return. To match. Though hers stretched a little too far on her face. Still friendly, but not exactly a human smile. Her eyes changed colours too, but never the same colours at the same time. A fish swam in front of her face and this distracted her from him.

 “Well, how do I get out of here anyways? Not that I don’t mind your company, I should be getting back to the real world.”

 She looked back at him and seemed to startle a little bit. “Ohhhh, what were we talking about?”

 He blinked and looked at her and then looked at Barnabas, who said to her, in a reassuring manner, “It wasn’t important. Klaus was leaving soon anyways.”

 “Hm. My he-ad hurts. Was I talking Rightly again? That always Hurts.”

 “Yes, Delirium, but you don’t have to anymore. Why don’t we help Klaus go home and then play with the fish?”

 Klaus frowned at Barnabas in confusion. Delirium laughed joyfully and said, “Well, hell yeah! There’s only a few swimming around, buuuut I can make more!” She proceeded to spin around and do exactly that.

 Barnabas sidled closer to Klaus and said, “She does that, sometimes.”

 “What? Forgets?”

 “No. Remembers. The advice she gave you? How coherent she spoke? Does not happen often. You should take heed. The knowledge she has…is vast. So vast that it seems to…hurt her. Now, it’s time for you to go.” He didn’t say this roughly, but there was a sadness when he spoke.

 “Thanks,” Klaus said, heartfelt. “And thank her for me, too, even if she doesn’t remember.”

 Delirium wandered back over with a great many more fish swimming around, some bigger than others. Some so small he could barely see in the swirl of colours and shapes. “Oh yes! You!” She tapped him firmly on the forehead and said, “Say the magic words!”

 “Um, please-”

 “Wrong, so wrong. Try again.” And here she clicked her new heels three times.

 Klaus couldn’t help it. He laughed. He saw that movie too. And then he copied her action and said the “magic” words, “There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home. There’s no pla-”

 And then he was in an ambulance, the paramedic’s expression triumphant and relieved. Ben, hovering over him on the other side, looked similar.

 “Klaus, don’t ever do that to me again. You are so lucky there was this goth lady around. Apparently, you aren’t the only one that can speak to the dead. She was pretty Zen about the whole thing. Said it wasn’t your time and managed to find a nearby payphone. She didn’t even ask why I couldn’t call the ambulance myself!”

 Ben sounded a bit hysterical. The paramedic seemed to be chattering away as he checked Klaus’ vitals. Klaus felt himself tearing up. He could still feel the drugs in his system. “I’m so sorry, Ben. I can’t do this-”

 “C’mon, Klaus! I know you’re stronger- what about Dave-”

 “No, shit, Ben, just- I can’t do this alone, okay? I-I really need. I need help. I want to stay clean. Please. I just- please. I can’t do this alone.”

 The paramedic wasn’t paying attention to his babble, too focussed on actually keeping him alive, but Ben was listening intently. He tried to lay his hand on Klaus’ shoulder, but his hand passed through. Klaus shivered. Ben looked disappointed, but not surprised. He settled for leaning over, close to Klaus’ face, and said, “Never, Klaus. I’m here, okay. And the others…we’ll ask for help from them too. We’re all trying to be a family, right? And….and whatever you need.”

 Klaus felt tears in his eyes and with a rough voice he said, “Thank you, Ben. I always knew you were my favourite brother.”

 Ben rolled his eyes, but a smile tugged the corner of his lips. “Oh, please. I’ll remember that next time you say that to any of our other siblings.”

 “Why would Allison or Vanya be my favourite brother?”

 “Fuck off, you know what I meant.” Okay, definitely a smile now.

 And then Ben happened to glance at his feet. “Klaus, where the hell did you get those?”

 Klaus looked at his feet and saw that he wasn’t wearing Allison’s heels, but rainbow boots. Huh. So not a drug-induced dream.

 “Klaus?”

 “I’ve been thinking, Ben.”

 “Oh no. I didn’t know you could do that.” He gestured at the boots. “Are you not going to answer?”

 Klaus ignored him and stared at the boots. “I’ve been wondering if they might allow aquariums in rehab.”

 Ben stared at him a little. But he was also long used to Klaus saying weird stuff. “Well. If we manage to use some of dad’s fortune for rehab, they’ll allow us as many fish as we want. If…if that’s what you wanted the aquarium for.”

 It was…so fucking nice to hear Ben using “us” and “we” like that. He knew Ben was stuck with him, but it felt…. like he wasn’t alone. That Ben meant it. That he was going to have help this time, from the whole family. And if they used dear old dad’s money…well. That would be icing on the cake. Petty? Yes. Deserved, even beyond the grave? Hell yes. He’s glad that he didn’t have another visit from him. He doesn’t think he could stand anymore revelations or disappointment from him. He’d take a bizarre realm of multi-coloured girls and fish and talking dogs any day.

 Though, he really didn’t want to go back any time soon. Being mostly dead was exhausting.

 “Yeah, Ben, fish. Lots of colourful fish.” His voice sounded further away, like hearing himself through a long tunnel. Klaus could feel his eyes droop closed.

 Ben laughed softly. “Anything you need, Klaus. Have some nice dreams for me, will you?” Klaus’ eyes were closed, but for a flash, he thought he saw someone above him. He couldn’t see features, just a strange helmet and black robes. A pale hand sprinkled shining dust onto him. Onto his closed eyes. And then the figure was gone.

  And he swore, right before he drifted off to sleep, that he felt Ben’s hand on his shoulder. But then again, it could have just been his imagination.

[sunnycastiel]

His Name Was Dave

“He was kind…”

Dave was more than kind. Kind couldn’t even begin to describe all that Dave was. Klaus actually found himself thinking that a new word should be invented to describe someone who saw the good in people while fighting in the shit every day of his life.

He was kind to the people that were supposed to be their enemies. All of them knew that the people in the towns were keeping information from them, hiding the Vietcong and keeping their secrets that allowed for them to walk from place to place without getting their legs blown off. Yet Dave saw them all as people. He was kind to them the way that he was kind to his own men, offering them extra food and water, asking them how their day was, trying to communicate even though those who knew English were few and far between. The French that he had learned in high school would sometimes make its way out, making the children laugh and the adults shake their heads. But they appreciated it. Klaus could tell. They loved having him around. It was a nice change in pace from the type of people that they usually saw.

But he was also kind to Klaus. Most of the men looked at him with suspicion in their eyes, if they even bothered to look at him at all, but Dave accepted him. From the moment that Klaus landed in that tent, Dave sought him out, wanting to make him feel welcome. Klaus had an idea that this was the way that he treated every new member of their troop, and for some reason, not being special didn’t bother him. It just made him realize the type of man that Dave really was. The way that he comforted him through his nightmares, would ask but not pry about his past, would hold him when the voices got to be too much, and would turn a blind eye when he had to take something to make living in Vietnam bearable. His kindness showed when he asked him about himself, wanted to get to know him, even though Klaus was a complete and utter mess. It showed in the tone of his voice, in the sound of his laughter, in the softness of his eyes.

“And strong..”

His kindness didn’t make him weak, though. A lot of men said that they had to become hard in order to survive. Said that if they let themselves feel, they would never be able to do what it took to get out of there with a sound mind.

Not Dave, though.

He cared about people, but he would always do what it took to save the lives of his men. He was strong on the front lines, putting himself in danger first to make sure that it was safe for the other men to follow. He would always be the first one to walk the paths lined with mines, never showing the fear on his face. The memories of men lost didn’t get to him, not in the moments that it truly mattered. His fear of death was always an afterthought in those moments. What mattered to him most was getting everyone out of situations alive, and if that meant risking his own life to do it, there would never be a second thought in his mind.

He was strong in his body, too. It was the first thing that Klaus had noticed when he had shown up, eyes falling on a body built of pure muscle. It wasn’t an easy feat to stay that toned while fighting. Sure, the workload was a lot, and Klaus himself had put on a lot of muscle while fighting, but he was also constantly sick. They never had enough to eat, or drink, just enough to keep them sustained until the next day. And yet Dave looked like a Greek god, something that never failed to surprise him. Even when his hands traced over those muscles, night after night, when they were alone together, he couldn’t get over it.

Dave would make fun of him, ask him if he was jealous, but Klaus didn’t mind it. Instead, he’d joke about Dave being able to pick him up and carry him out of the fray if he really needed it, like a damsel in distress. That image never failed to make them both laugh.

“And vulnerable..”

In all of their moments together, this was when Dave was the strongest.

When they were sitting in the dark, quietly, and Dave would open up for him.

Klaus would ask a simple question, mention that he never really spoke about his family life, and Dave would give him more than he could have ever asked for. He would talk about his trauma, about being drafted, about his big dreams for his life and career, and how they all got shifted out of view as soon as he had gotten that letter. He would talk about having to hide being gay, about how he loved his parents, but he knew that if they ever found out, he would be disowned, or worse. He would talk about how he had never been in love before, because he had never been given the chance. The fear of someone finding out had kept him in the shadows, had made him force himself to fake relationships with people he never felt any sort of attraction for.

He told Klaus all of this and more, willingly, without fear of what Klaus would think of him. He would pour his heart out to him, because he trusted him. Because he had no fear of Klaus writing him off. Because he had seen those bits of Klaus as well.

He would talk about their future together. He wasn’t afraid of scaring Klaus off by talking about what they would do after the war. It wasn’t a question of whether or not they would stay together once they both got out. The answer was simple: of course they would.

He talked about their house somewhere rural, away from the rest of the world. He talked about their dog that they would get, probably a golden retriever, something generic, and about the picket fence out front, and about how he would read to Klaus until he fell asleep, and hold him in his arms when the nightmares would come back. He talked about how even if they couldn’t get married, it didn’t matter. They would still wear rings, and be somewhere where they had no fear of someone finding out about them.

He gave him his dog tags as a promise.

He told him he loved him.

“And beautiful..”

And that was it, wasn’t it? Dave was just.. Beautiful. Out of anything that Klaus could have ever said to describe him, beautiful was the only word that did him justice.

He was beautiful in the way that he danced, hunched over with jerky movements, not caring that he looked like a total idiot, just feeling the music as it moved through his body.

He was beautiful in the way that he would recite poetry to Klaus as he tried to sleep, above the noise of the bombs dropping, words whispered softly in his ear, filling his world with nothing but softness.

He was beautiful when he took a shot, face flushed, hair tousled with a grin spread from ear to ear, looking at Klaus as if he had hung the moon, as if nothing could ever top the moments that they spent together, the brief moments they had when they weren’t buried in trenches.

He was beautiful in the moments after they kissed, his eyes still closed as if he had to take a moment to soak everything in, a small smile twitching at the sides of his lips, because of course, Dave never stopped smiling, he always found something to smile about in any moment. Normally that reason was Klaus.

He was beautiful when he told him that he loved him, quiet and scared for the first time, his hand shaking where they were clenched around Klaus’, but meeting his eyes anyway, wanting Klaus to know that he meant it, even if he was terrified that he could feel anything this deeply, and he was beautiful when Klaus said it back, words punched out of him like he was shocked by it, both of them grinning like total idiots.

And he was beautiful, so beautiful as he laid there, gunfire lighting up his face in strange intervals, crimson painted across his chest and on Klaus’ own hands. He was so beautiful, staring up at Klaus with his dying breaths, and all he wanted was just one more chance, to go back and change it all, to make things right, so he could just hold him, call him beautiful one last time..

“...beautiful.”

[gilmores-glorious-blog]

i wish that i knew what makes you think i'm so special

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more klaus/dave but this time it’s hurt/comfort bc i like to suffer :) title from love like you from steven universe

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The ghosts were worse at night. It was quiet, no sound but insects and birds and explosions in the distance. Klaus kept his eyes open and he saw the mangled corpses of soldiers and civilians crowding him from every angle; he closed his eyes and he saw his father, saw Ben’s death over and over, saw Dave dying every kind of horrible death imaginable. 

He decided the corpses were preferable to his own imagination.

But sometimes his exhaustion got the better of him. It had been three days since he’d last slept. Even when Dave fell asleep in his arms, when they snuck out to the jungle, Klaus didn’t dare to rest his eyes. God knows what would go wrong if they were both sleeping alone out there. So Dave had insisted they stay at the camp tonight, and that Klaus at least try to sleep. 

Klaus tried so hard not to give in. He had gotten quite used to the ghosts around here, and as long as he ignored the ones that were men he’d known, his soldier buddies that had died too early, he could manage them well enough. But fighting in a war was tiring, and Klaus had to admit that this cot was more comfortable than the jungle floor, and although he missed Dave’s arms, he could hear the man snoring quietly in the cot across from his, and he could feel his eyes closing…

dave’s hands cradled his face. it was nice. klaus leaned in to kiss him, but before he could, dave crumpled to the ground in front of him, blood streaming from his mouth. 

‘dave!’

through the blood, he tried to speak. tried to say goodbye to klaus.

‘you’re…’ 

klaus nodded at him frantically, encouraging him to talk. 

‘you’re my greatest disappointment, number 4.’ the blonde curls turned to gray hairs, and the body that had been lifeless a moment ago was now all too alive. his father’s hands were around his throat, choking him. 

he couldn’t breathe. couldn’t think. he needed dave.

klaus saw his siblings in the fading edges of his vision. they said nothing as reginald squeezed the life out of their brother. 

in his final moments of consciousness, klaus heard a voice that belonged either to ben or to dave.

‘better him than us.’

Klaus woke up screaming. He clutched at the blanket around him, trying to remember where he was. 

Dave was next to him in an instant. “Klaus!”

Klaus looked at Dave. Dave was here. Klaus was here. They were both alive. How?

“Hey, hey, take some deep breaths, ok? I’m here, you’re gonna be okay.” Dave moved his hand to Klaus’ back and rubbed it gently. 

Klaus heeded his instructions, and after a few shaky breaths, the heat of the Vietnam night air made its way into his lungs and he felt his brain start to work again.

“Dave.” He reached a trembling hand up to touch his boyfriend’s cheek. 

“Klaus, what happened?”

“Ah, nothing new. Just nightmares. Ghosts. The usual.” Klaus waved a dismissive hand. “Come ‘ere.” He pulled Dave up off from his spot kneeling on the ground and tugged him down onto the bed next to him. 

“Woah, hold on.” Dave stood up again. “You know we can’t do that here. Your screaming probably woke some others up, and they can’t see us.”

“Fuck that, I wanna kiss you.” Klaus grabbed at Dave. He knew somewhere in the back of his brain that Dave was right, but he was tired and scared and shaken from his dream and he needed to touch Dave. 

“Klaus.” Dave wrapped a hand around Klaus’ arm, knowing that Klaus was too weak to fight back anymore. “We can’t. Do you want to leave, though? I promise I’ll stay awake this time, and you can sleep in the jungle.”

As much as Klaus wanted to stay in the relative comfort of his bed, he wanted to hold Dave even more, so he stood tentatively. 

Dave threw on a shirt and wrapped his jacket around Klaus before heading out of the tent.

Neither of them spoke as they walked towards their spot- a small clearing surrounded by trees, far enough from camp and secluded enough that no one would find them- but as soon as they were away from other people, Dave took Klaus’ hand.

The moment they made it to their clearing, Klaus threw his hands around Dave’s neck and kissed him, hard. 

Dave reciprocated the kiss long enough for Klaus to send them both tumbling to the ground, but he pushed Klaus up a second later. 

“Wait.” He sat up, bringing Klaus with him. “Are you alright?”

Klaus blinked, confused. “Yeah!” He moved towards Dave again, but found Dave’s hand on his chest stopping him. 

“Klaus, your dream. Do you need to talk about it?” Dave moved to sit against a tree, and Klaus crawled after him, not wanting to stand.

“Oh right. That.” He laughed dryly. 

“I know you get nightmares a lot, and I’ve tried not to ask about them, but if that’s what keeping you awake, we need to do something about it.” 

Klaus said nothing, fiddling with Dave’s hand. 

“I used to get nightmares when I was little,” Dave continued. “And my ma always had me talk about them with her. I hated it, but it did help. To tell someone else what’s happening in the dream that scares you so much. Do you think you can talk to me?”

Klaus swallowed nervously. He really didn’t want to share his dreams, but Dave wanted him to, and he wanted whatever Dave wanted.

“You were there.” He starts. “You were there, and I tried to kiss you, but you died before I could.” Klaus felt Dave stiffen next to him, but he said nothing. “There was blood everywhere, and you were trying to tell me something, but before you could you turned into my father. He started choking me, and my siblings were all there watching, and the last thing I heard before I died was you or my brother saying it was better that it was me he killed and not the rest of you. Which is true, of course, so that’s the worst part.” Klaus blinked back tears as he stopped abruptly, finding it too hard to keep speaking.

“It’s not true.” Dave said immediately, taking both of Klaus’ hands. “It isn’t true. I would die a thousand times before I let you get hurt, and I would kill a hundred men if it saved you from a scratch.” 

Klaus looked at him, eyes glistening. “You’re such a sap.”

Dave smiled, kissing Klaus’ hand. “I am. But Klaus, you gotta understand, your dream was just that. A dream. I’m so sorry you have these nightmares, but they’re not real, Klaus. I’m alive. I’m right here. And your family isn’t. Your father can’t hurt you here. I’m gonna protect you. No matter what, I’m gonna protect you.” 

Klaus leaned forward and kissed Dave gently. “Thank you.” He whispered, touching their foreheads together. It was a nice moment, and Klaus knew he shouldn’t ask what he wanted to, but he had to know. 

“Why?”

“Hmm?” Dave was distracted, running his fingers through Klaus’ hair. 

“Why do you want to protect me? Why do you want to help me through this? It would be so much easier for you to just leave, like everyone else does.” It had been three months since Klaus and Dave got together, but Klaus still couldn’t believe that Dave actually wanted to be with him. Guess that’s what thirty years of abuse and abandonment issues does to a guy. 

“Klaus…” Dave had a sad look in his eyes. “I protect you because I care about you. I want to help you because you deserve help. And I’m never going to leave you, because you are an incredible person. Don’t- don’t say you aren’t because it’s not true. You are funny, and brilliant, and unique, and kind, and loving, and that makes you incredible. I know your past has taught you not to believe these things, but I need you to listen to me when I say them. I’m not lying, Klaus. I’d never lie to you.” Dave stopped talking for a moment and brushed his lips against Klaus’. 

“I love you, Klaus Hargreeves.”

Dave kissed Klaus again. “I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone in my entire life.”

Klaus thought Dave was crying, but he wasn’t sure. Klaus was definitely crying, though. Because somehow, despite every past relationship and every reason Klaus had to not trust Dave, he found himself believing his every word. 

Klaus moved so he was straddling Dave and kissed the top of his head.

“I love you, David Katz.” He held Dave’s head up so they made eye contact. “I didn’t think love was real before I met you. You’re the first person I’ve ever truly loved.”

Yeah, Dave was crying. Klaus lay his head down on Dave’s shoulder and cried along with him.

They sat like that for a while, neither one talking. What a strange sight that must have been. Two soldiers, beaten and bruised by the war raging on around them, clutching on to one another and weeping. 

Finally Klaus lifted his head from Dave’s shoulder and began to wipe away his tears. “This would be embarrassing if it were with anyone but you.” He laughed weakly.

Dave chuckled, rubbing at his own eyes. “Pretty good summary of what love is.”  

Klaus kissed Dave, and the salt of their tears mingled in his mouth, and it was the sweetest kiss Klaus had ever had. 

“Hey,” Dave broke the kiss after a minute. “You should try to get some sleep.”

Klaus didn’t argue this time. He shifted so he was laying his head on Dave’s lap, staring up at the night sky. Here in the clearing, a few stars were visible amidst the lingering smoke of explosions.

Klaus’ eyes closed and he felt Dave’s hand on his face, his fingers gently tracing Klaus’ eyes and nose and lips, before lingering in his hair.

Klaus didn’t fall asleep right away, he was too distracted listening to the sounds of the jungle and the sound of Dave’s heart and his breathing, distracted by the feel of Dave’s hands, one in Klaus’ hair and the other clasped in Klaus’ hands, distracted by the feel of Dave’s legs underneath him and his chest to the side of him. 

Right when Klaus had nearly drifted off, he heard Dave speak. It was quiet, so quiet that Klaus wasn’t sure if he’d imagined it. Dave must have thought Klaus was already asleep, meaning that he was speaking to himself and to no one at all.

“I love you Klaus. So much.” 

Love. Klaus let the word roll around in his tired brain. He’d always hated that word. He thought it was just a word people used to validate their abuse. A word people used as a lie to trick him into trusting them. A word people used to a sickening amount towards others, but never towards Klaus. 

But somehow, against all odds, lying there in the middle of an active warzone, in Vietnam, in 1968, someone was using that word towards Klaus. Not as a lie. Not to abuse. Simply because he meant it. Because he loved Klaus. 

And goddamnit, Klaus loved him too.