#kite uncut

[kdnss77]

Kite/A Kite (1998) + Kite Liberator (2008)

i've decided to elaborate on these two at one time, so as to present a somewhat accurate comparison (especially because they're, despite the appearances, superficially connected).

basic info: both titles were written and directed by Yasuomi Umetsu (also known for collaboration within releasing "Robot Carnival" or "Mezzo Forte"), as well as circle around the themes of sci-fi, violence and adult content - the two-episode ova and its sequel feature a teenage assassin fighting crime, resulting in loosely explicit scenes.

overall ratings: imdb: 6,6/10 + 5,5/10 letterboxd: 3,3/5 + 2,8/5

plot summary: the first movie had been originally parted into two episodes, later being combined into a length of an ova (it also received its uncut and therefore uncensored version). its protagonist, Sawa, is an orphaned schoolgirl making a living out of working as a qualified assassin. her job consists in sentencing to death individuals presumably suspected of pedophilia or abuse against minors - beforehand indicated by her supervisor and initial caretaker, Akai (with whom she also maintains a sexual relationship). her seemingly supreme goal is to obtain the identity of the one standing behind the death of her parents, although it's later revealed she has been well aware of her employers fault at murdering them. Sawa is bogged down in this state of voluntary-involuntary dependency on manipulative adults surrounding her, until she encounters an another young assassin - Oburi. in the name of a promising future by his side, the protagonist decides to betray her self-proclaimed savior and helps her co-worker escape an execution. the film ends with Sawa patiently waiting for Oburi to return to his apartment, while the boy has already been shot by girl, whose ball he previously destroyed (and probably some other assassin of Akai too). the second installment of the franchise takes a slightly different turn - or, truth be told - could be broken into two separate plot lines. "Liberator" takes place a few years after the original "Kite" and revolves around both an unfortunate outcome of risky procedures on a space station and the ordinary, yet bizarre life of a teenage girl - Monaka, also known as "The Angel of Death". she works undercover for the manager of a restaurant she makes night at and who calls Akai his descended friend. her commissions mainly include dealing with pedophilia-involved targets too. another reference to the ova is the gun Monaka wields - it clearly once belonged to Sawa. there's also the already mentioned trope featuring an unclassified creature, into which one of the space ship's crew members morphs after consuming seemingly beneficial, however untested food. the thread of connection establishes the fact, that a victim of the mutation is actually Monaka's father - an astronaut, who decided to volunteer for a mission once his wife passed away. the unfolding events reach its climax when the extraterrestrial monster makes its way onto the earth, previously escaping from an emergency capsule, and reunites with the girl, whom - in some other circumstances - it would call its daughter.

my thoughts: both Kite and its successor have undeniable potential. although i have to admit, that the first production should be considered the generally better one - both in terms of the plot line and overall impression. Kite is rough and ruthless, exactly like animated productions for mature audiences at that time should be. im a devoted fan of releases of such kind, especially because they're not only a once in an eternity occurrence (we don't get anything like this anymore), but also possess an atmosphere that is truly irreplaceable. and a crucial component of these matters are the characters - conflicted in their choices and therefore easy to engage with. Sawa is a great instance for this, mainly because of her obedience towards Akai, despite him obviously controlling her in a manipulative manner. as i've already mentioned, him knowingly killing her parents is no secret to her too. the thing is, that Akai was the one who has taken care of her back then, probably ensuring her he's the only option left among the monstrosities of the world you have to live in as an adolescent, deprived from elementary parental figures. Sawa, along with becoming naturally and subconsciously attached to him, granted him a perfect weapon, which he could manipulate with continuous lies and with absolute impunity. even though Sawa turned out to have been aware of this hypocrisy, becoming Akai's pawn was a matter of life and death for her in the latter case. these could be the reasons for which she sticked with all this dirt of a business for such a time, at least until she meets Oburi. while hanging out together (besides from acting like actual teenagers, which was truly heartwarming), she said some lines that seem to hold a great importance for her and in the ending scenes of the movie start to make the most sense. for them, working such a ridiculous, yet horribly hazardous job it's a matter of making through tomorrow or dying while performing an assassination on their targets. Sawa, when asked about her future perspectives, is unable to respond appropriately - they have no right to dream and hope for the better, as their only aim it to survive by focusing on this very moment in the present. Oburi's fate is a bitter confirmation of these speculations, as he wasn't destined to make is back to his flat and see Sawa once again. this ending might seem like more of a mild cliffhanger, but it really did fall to my liking. a lot, actually. i'm just glad that these unsettling doubts the protagonist had weren't just a blunt addition to the dialogue, so as to make the movie more emotional. it felt right and real. i'm not that fond of my opinion on "Liberator" on the other hand. in comparison with "Kite", it's less of a metal burden and more of a sci-fi/slice-of-life story (to a certain degree). as viewers, we're presented two opposing prompts, which connect only reaching towards the end of the movie. the little references to the original franchise are a nice touch, although they make no sense in the long run - they're just picked up, mentioned and left alone, perhaps to speculate about (what comes to my mind in this case is the character of Mukai - an assertive employee and a single mother, who works along Monaka at Apollo 11. she strikes a remarkable resemblance to Sawa - it's also hinted she had been something more than an ordinary waitress, her noticing how the protagonist tried to stab a guy harassing her with a pen or hitting a target with a knife in darts. the manager of the restaurant has also admitted he doesn't know much of her past either). i feel like the whole story could have been used way differently if it had been treated as a separate and independent work. or were the tropes prompted from "Kite" improved, we'd get an interesting and a direct continuation. it's rather a watch out of necessity, for the sake of completing the viewing of the series.

my rating (on a scale from 1 to 5): 3.5/5 + 2.5/5

favorite quote: (from "Kite") "Be patient my friends. Very soon. Oburi will come home to us. Right?"

the images were found by me on the internet, credits to their original uploaders.

[animenostalgia]

New Licenses from Animeigo & Discotek!

At Otakon 2024, Animeigo & Discotek had back-to-back panels, and both announced some great licenses! Animeigo announced:

Bubblegum Crash on bluray

Time of Eve: The Complete Collection on bluray

Full Moon wo Sagashite on bluray

Discotek announced 25 new titles, including:

Space Pirate Captain Harlock on bluray

Dallos on bluray

Giant Gorg on bluray

Space Musketeer Bismark on bluray

Chie The Brat season 2 on bluray

Great Teacher Onizuka on Standard Definition bluray

Digimon Adventure 02 on bluray

KITE on bluray (which will include an adult-only "uncut" version, the "U.S. general release" version, and an "International" cut version, the latter of which has not been released in the U.S. before.)

Humanoid Monster BEM on bluray

Groizer X on Standard Definition bluray

The live-action Kekko Kamen trilogy on blu-ray

The Android Kikaider series on bluray

MXC, aka Most Extreme Elimination Challenge, the Spike TV re-edit of Takeshi's Castle that aired on US cable TV in the early 00s.

Check the link above for a complete list of their announcements!

[fostersffff]

Hats off to Discotek with their release of the Kite - Integral Version blu-ray for doing what seems like a considerable amount of extra work for the silliest possible reason.

As the "Integral Version", this includes the original censored US release, the "International Version" that was recut by Yasuomi Umetsu to be less pornographic, and the original totally uncut version. So, when you load up the disc, it does a "hey you gotta tell us if you're 18 to see the uncut version", which is a really funny thing to do for a blu-ray.

The kicker, however, is that they had several extras that they had to make two versions of, including the Art Gallery, Interview with the Producer, and funniest of all, the original featurette that explains all the different releases, because they featured art/scenes that were too explicit.

[ambajewel]

[grimoire-y-em-babble-y-bare]

PART II [go back to one if you didn’t start there, if you want the experience offered when taken properly from beginning to end as it should be]

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[Epilogue:] Seal this unhinging read by thoroughly Shaking out Head fingers toes, to distractify: Forget. by: a Watch comedy flicks or something fresh do find to take off your mind all this freaky word salad eyeworming its way weaving into the You that will waffle Leggo… complete the phrase and complete is your accomplished first steps to cue madness ensuing engrained when the new You shows up let Me know compelling the rest to take up residence minding inside your nest

[dltmdgus0147]

카이트 애니 a kite 한글자막 감독판 삭제장면

카이트 애니 a kite 한글자막 감독판 삭제장면 복구 되었습니다. kite 1998 같은 애니 full linkkf 카이트 씬 시리즈 추천 합니다. 독일판 다운 가능하며, 블루레이 언컷 북미판도 시청 가능합니다.

카이트 애니 다운 <<

카이트 씬 linkkf a kite full 결말까지 볼수 있습니다. 애니 카이트 리버레이터, 독일판, 블루레이, 감독판, 언컷 시청 가능합니다. 삭제장면까지 복구 되어 있으므로 카이트 씬 많습니다. a kite 1998 smi 한글자막 FULL 버전 추천합니다. 인기 있어서 시리즈 영화로도 출시 되었고, 결말도 재미있으므로 다운로드 가능합니다. 언컷 감독판 블루레이 있습니다.

* 카이트 애니 종류 1. Kite 1998 UNCUT .JAPANESE. 1080p BluRay h264 AAC VXT 자막 2. kite rc2 pal - special edition 독일 3. Kite rc1 directors cut

카이트와 메조포르테가 명작인 이유는 단순합니다. 각본에서 감독까지 맡은 우메츠 야스오미(梅津泰臣) 씨가 천재이기 때문이죠. 액션이 들어있는 18금 OVA는 꽤 있긴 하지만 저 둘에 비할 만한 작품은 찾아도 없습니다. 이 분이 18금 OVA에 꽤 손을 대긴 했지만, 각본 이상을 담당한 작품은 저 둘 말고는 YELLOW STAR란 것밖에 없습니다. 쿨 디바이스란 옴니버스 시리즈의 7편에 해당하는데 구하실 수 있으려나 모르겠구요... 메조포르테의 전연령화 작품으로 메조(MEZZO)란 게 있으니 그걸 봐 두시는 게 좋겠군요. 액션 수준은 우메츠 야스오미에 못 미치지만 순수한 작화와 분위기상으로는 뛰어넘는 게 작년에 돌아가신 카네자와 타츠마(金澤勝眞)라는 분의 작품입니다. 대표작으로 Dark Shell이나 수확의 밤 등이 있는데... 액션 장르라기보다는 폭력 장르에 해당하죠. 분위기가 정말로 암울합니다만 애니에서 작품성을 찾는 분이라면 만족하실 겁니다. 카이트는 1998년작입니다. 레옹은 1994년작이죠. 레옹이 먼저 나왔고,,그 둘의 연관성은 각자 본인 느낌이겠지요.

[the-firebird69]

Only two weeks away February 25th our son reminds us the Celtics and the 76ers is the uncut gems movie and we're prepping for it and a lot of people are getting ready and it does have more lock in it they're saying they're out of the country and outlawed and they're still running around fighting each other in a weird ways the tracks attention and get some knocked out punch down actually our son says and daughter. It is an incredible movie it has an object from our son and daughter's lives and is big when it was small and it came from Africa and was not there originally and they Revere it and they know what it's for and why it's there it's to be grown again so they are fighting like madness over it, and it seem to think they understand how it works because the tone of the movie is so serious but only a few of them know how to extract the energy from it and how it charges so there trying to figure it out the whole time and being awe and really they just end up killing each other

Thor Freya

We do understand what it is and we can do and how to extract it the energy that is and when it grows and shrinks it gets more energy and it grows, I guess it has some other components it grows because it's incorporating minerals when it's charged and he knows he was talking about, but we have to study it and that's what we're doing and a lot of people want to and we understand that's true

Bg

What incredible movie I can't wait for it no this is going to suck everyone's going to be fighting over it it's in the diamond district for Christ's sake what are we stupid he says it came through the door and it's probably your brother that was BG that last sentence and I do understand something it is my brother and he's an idiot and it goes through your door and you're an idiot hahaha

Mac yeah my grand Matthew is the one laughing and recorded it

I don't think we see eye to eye no we do it's stupid to have me in the show is stupid to have it in the shop but that guy brings it in and forces it and that's what you're missing we're getting pushed around till we're all extinct

Bobby bouche

It's going to go like this I don't want to show what happened with the idiots force it and it is going to just get his own ass kicked again

Mac

I don't think so it hasn't been working that way but I guess in one way it has I'm losing troops

Billy z

I have an unlimited supply of limited number of troops and so it's still winning and this guy is higher than a kite and either deflate him or get them off me

Zues Hera off us

We have to now and we're going to and he's a pig and the card is coming slowly. Should be here in a few

Thor Freya and yes they're playing games with his other one already it's really just the power company screwing around with them it's a Mac but they're under the influence

We don't have time for this stupid s***

Mac

The issue threats on what houses okay so we look into it now

[elkonigin]

I think it was @splendentgoddess who I mentioned my crazy drug crocheting to before.

So I was doing a little cleaning because I’m supposed to move in a few months and I discovered this little gem.

Looks innocuous enough, right? Let’s paint the picture so to speak.

My metabolism is super slow. I’m getting my wisdom teeth removed. It doesn’t even blip across my mind to tell him this. Cue anesthesia. He keeps giving me more because I’m not passing out like a normal person. Like I’m getting dosed and I can tell this dude is going WTF?

Anyway, I finally take the big nap. Now cue panicked nurses because they can’t wake me up. They’ve given me so much propofol that they now have to give me a reversal to bring me back to the land of the living. If you don’t know what that is, it feels like straight speed. Like uncut speed just injected directly in your body.

And I am hyped. Because slow metabolism remember? So guess what they give me extra of? Yeah, that’s right. Speed.

Now we get home and most people go to sleep after wisdom teeth surgery. I do not. I am awake and aware.

I watch three (3️⃣) movies and slip into my lesser known persona (apparently this persona was a secret even to myself) the Spider.

Now I crocheted this monster (badly) while high on speed-reversal.

I’ll tell you right now, I knew this was a monster because it was heavy.

Guys. I can’t.

It’s so bad and why is it so long? I missed so many stitches and it’s so uneven. It’s the crocheting of a chick high as a kite.

I had to get out a tape measure, just to see. I took a panoramic because I want you to see the truth.

Why?

Why would I make it this long? A king sized bed spread is only 90 inches at its longest.

I did one row and a half sober and it took me an hour. AN HOUR.

Like I have no use for it, but I kinda don’t wanna throw it away, but seriously. What do I do with this?

And don’t say finish it. I’ll be crocheting my way through it when I’m 80.

[sexuallyhentai]

kite anime uncut scenes

[yikesharringrove]

hmm maybe a steve who has been billy’s best friend since he was a kid and he always gets jealous when billy tells him about his latest fuck. he would try to laugh it off whenever billy does that, but one time when they’re getting high steve’s dumbass tells billy without noticing about how jealous he gets and how he would want billy to fuck him instead and billy just stares at him and goes ”you want me to fuck you, princess?” and after a minute steve just nods and says ”uh huh” and then they fuck

Smut

-

Steve is not a blushing virgin.

And he’s certainly not a prude, but whenever Billy goes into graphic detail about the people he sleeps with, the things they do, Steve’s stomach goes tight, his heart speeds up, and he feels, feels sweaty.

He thought it was the visceral way Billy would describe each girl’s pussy, and when Billy one night, high as a fucking kite, let slip he doesn’t actually like sleeping with girls, that he prefers a boy under him, Steve just figured it was his own ingrained homophobia that would rear it’s ugly head when Billy would let smoke pour out of his mouth, talk with his hands while saying and this guy, he was so fucking TIGHT, I swear I could barely even get inside.

So they’re spending the weekend at Steve’s, and Steve was playing a fun game with himself, taking a hit each time Billy said some derivative of the world hole, when it hit him like a ton of fucking bricks.

It was jealousy.

He wanted to be the boy Billy fucked against a bathroom stall in some seedy club, wanted to be his to be the hole Billy shoved his tongue inside, used three fingers to make room for his cock.

Once Steve realized it, he felt like a fucking idiot.

it was so obvious, that’s what was happening.

Had been happening since they were eleven and Billy told him he kissed Lisa Carmichael under the bleachers.

“Stevie!”

He snapped back to himself, looking over at Billy.

“You were zoned out hard.” Billy took the joint from his fingers, taking a hit. “What’s got your brain all worked up?”

“Nothing.” Billy blew out a cloud of smoke.

“Don’t lie.” Steve shrugged at him.

Billy got a familiar, and very wicked look in his eye.

“Bill, Bill no.” Steve was horrified, trying to scoot up the bed to relative safety when Billy launched himself, pining Steve down easily, and fucking tickling him..

Steve was writhing around, laughing loudly, his face red, his stomach already sore.

“C’mon, Pretty Boy! This torture could all be over if you just tell me.” Steve was trying not to think about how Billy could pin him down, could hold him down.

“Billy! Stop!” Steve shrieked.

“There’s only one way to make it stop! Tell me what you’re thinking about!”

“About how jealous I am! That I want you to fuck me.”

Everything stopped.

Steve didn’t even realize he had spoken.

Billy was staring at him, eyes wide.

“What?”

“Are you, are you aware of what you just said?” Steve thought for a second, his mouth going dry.

“Um, can we just pretend that I didn’t say anything?”

“Absolutely not.” Steve’s face was going hot.

Billy bent over him, his forearms on either side of his head.

Their faces were inches apart, Steve was refusing to look him in the eye.

“You want me to fuck you, Princess?”

Steve’s breath caught in his chest.

He bit his lip.

“Yeah. Always have.”

Billy connected their lips.

Steve felt like he was on fire. The kiss was sloppy, dirty, messy.

But fucking amazing.

Steve let Billy take control, let him open Steve’s mouth with his tongue, just moaned softly into his mouth.

Billy ground his hips down, and Steve could feel his was fucking hard.

He sat up, looking down at Steve, his eyes dark.

“How you want me, Baby? Always wanted ta take you real slow. Watch you fall apart.”

Steve’s eyes were wide.

“You, you always wanted?”

“Jesus Christ, Steve. I���ve been fucking in love with you since I was a kid. You’re literally the reason I know I’m gay.”

“Oh my God. I seriously just realized I’m, someone that likes boys. Or at least, likes you.”

Billy tossed his head back as he laughed, the room echoing with his roar.

“Took you long enough.”

Billy swung himself off of Steve, standing next to the bed.

He began rummaging through his bedside drawer.

“You got lube?”

“No. I don’t really use it.”

“Even when you jack off?”

“Nah. I, uh, I get real wet.” Steve’s cheeks burned as Billy looked at him.

“Oh my God. You’re so fucking hot.” Billy made a show of adjusting himself in his jeans before going back to his task.

He found a jar of Vaseline, shrugging at it.

“You’re gonna have to get lube if we keep doin’ this.” Steve sat up as Billy took of his shirt, tossing the Vaseline down on the bed.

“I, um, are we gonna keep doing this?” Billy looked at him intensely.

“Steve, when I said I’m in love with you, I fucking meant it.”

Steve gaped at him.

“I think I’m in love with you too.”

Billy looked like a little kid when he grinned, so bright and fucking giddy.

“Take off your damn clothes, then. I wanna do this.”

Steve wriggled awkwardly out of his clothes as Billy kicked off his jeans.

Billy stared at him, drinking in his body.

They had practically grown up together, they had seen each other naked plenty of times.

But seeing Billy’s cock, hard against his stomach, flushed red, uncut, and fucking thick, Steve felt his mouth water.

“Can I suck your dick?” His eyes widen as Billy’s cock gave a visible kick.

“I’ve literally dreamt of hearing you say those words.”

Steve stood up from the bed, and sunk to his knees, right there in front of Billy.

Billy’s eyes were huge as Steve took him in hand, looking up at him.

He looked back at his cock.

Okay, Steve. You got this.

He leaned forward, licking up the length of his cock.

Billy shuddered as Steve licked him, tonguing at his slit.

He opened his mouth, took all of him as deep as he could go.

Billy sighed out, one hand threading into Steve’s hair, just, holding, let Steve do all the work, let him set a sloppy pace.

Steve kinda, he kinda liked his mouth being full of Billy’s cock, liked how the smooth skin felt against his tongue, the roof of his mouth. He even liked the taste, the musky sort of flavor, the bitterness of precum.

He lost himself as he bobbed his head, fluttering his tongue along the underside of Billy’s cock.

Billy tugged gently as his hair.

“Baby, don’t wanna cum yet.”

Billy looked fucking wrecked, his chest was heaving, his lips parted.

“Wanna cum inside you.” Steve fucking whined at the idea.

Billy helped him up, pushing him back onto the bed.

Steve let him move him, let Billy settle himself between his legs. Billy just stared at him, made Steve feel exposed.

“You’re so fucking gorgeous.” Billy’s voice was soft. “Absolutely perfect.”

He pressed his hands up Steve’s thighs, spreading his legs, feeling the soft skin. He pushed his body close, kissing him some more as he fumbled with the Vaseline, spreading it over a few of his fingers.

He pulled away slightly as he dipped his hand low, circling his hole with one finger.

“I’ll stop if you want. If it feels bad or anything.”

“I know you will.” Billy pushed his finger in.

It felt odd, just some pressure. Steve didn’t mind it, but also didn’t really get it. But he let Billy kiss his neck, bite and suck, leave marks in his wake.

He was used to one finger by now, was alright with the alick feeling of it sliding in and out of him.

He pressed his toe to Billy’s thigh.

“You can add another.” Billy’s breath was hot against his neck, two fingers tight in his ass.

The stretch burned, Billy’s fingers were thick, clever in the way they curled inside of him, rubbed and prodded.

“You okay?”

“Yeah. It’s a little sore but-”

He saw fucking stars as Billy pressed his fingers just so, made fire zip up Steve’s spine. Billy was grinning at him, poking that spot again and again, make Steve cry out.

There was a steady drip of precum on his stomach, and he felt like he could snap, could cum at any second.

“Jeez, Sugar, you weren’t lyin’ about gettin’ all wet.” And he trailed down Steve’s body to lap at the small puddle, slurp it up as he pushed in another finger.

“I’m so, I’m so close, Bill. Just fuck me.”

Billy stilled for a moment, looking up at Steve.

“You’re so perfect.” He pressed an open mouthed kiss to Steve’s hip before pulling his fingers out.

He slicked up his cock with the Vaseline, shuffling closer to Steve.

“Are you sure?” Billy’s eyes were sharp.

“I’m so sure.”

Steve felt like if Billy didn’t fuck him right then, he was gonna lose his damn mind.

Billy shuffled closer, beginning to press in.

He leaned over Steve, linking their hands together, kissing him so soft.

They took a second when Billy bottomed out, just breathing together.

“I love you. I fucking love you.” Billy began to move, punching the breath right out of Steve’s lungs.

“I love you too,” Steve breathed into his ear. Billy ducked down to kiss at his neck. His pace was slow, his body moving softly on top of Steve’s.

It was overwhelming, Billy on top of him, Billy inside of him.

He buried his face in Billy’s hair, breathing him in.

He felt so full, stretched wide around Billy’s cock. His mouth was hot on his neck, leaving kisses and soft scrapes of his teeth.

Steve was so close to the edge, was toeing the line of orgasm.

He wrapped his arms around Billy’s shoulders, feeling his soft skin, his hard muscle.

“Stevie, I’m gonna-”

“Me too.”

When Billy came, his back tightened. He moaned softly into Steve’s ear, and Steve could feel him, spilling hot and wet inside of him.

It pushed Steve.

He arched into Billy, holding him tight.

They were breathing heavy, still locked together.

“I never wanna be with anyone but you.” Steve just barely heard his soft voice.

“Me neither, you’re the only one.”

And Billy’s eyes were so bright, so blue when he looked up at Steve, and his smile was blinding.

[feely-touchy]

Between the cicadas' shaking screams

Sat an unsolemn silence

So serene

As the snake as it sunbathes

At the retention pond

Undisturbed water

An uncut lawn

Heaven to the field mice and grasshoppers

Moths rising like kites in amber and copper tones

While kids walked by

Talking of not heading home

Letting their school bags drag

Not knowing where they would go

They just carried on and on and on

Until they were gone

But quiet comes

Always again

Again and again in lulls

Tired and hungry

Paranoid and thirsty

Restless and horny

About to make some noise

Or in need of a minute

Even if the shell is empty

Or the cicada is underground for 17 years

But let it be known that when the moment comes

If anyone ever asks me

To trade righteousness for quiet

There will be no bartering

Nor any other seizure or silencing

I will never surrender peace for tranquility

No matter how calming the river

Or how much money the dam can bring

Cash can't feed the delta

Or nothing in it

[fostersffff]

You mean to tell me Yasuomi Umetsu has just been able to cook the whole goddamn time and no one let him???

Also beginning to wonder if Discotek's recent licenses are more coordinated with the licensors; the timing of the upcoming uncut blu-ray of Kite feels almost suspicious.

[ambajewel]

[adhd-wifi]

MDZS Modern AU Fic Tips (Festivals)

So I asked a while back if anyone was interested in some fic tips for writing Chinese modern AUs, and y’all seemed enthusiastic. But…when I tried putting it all in a single post it got…really…really long…

So I split them into a bunch of posts (Yes I copy-pasted this intro on all of them because I’m lazy)! Here are the links:

Names & Stuff

Modern Chinese Cultural Stuff

Superstitions & Beliefs 

Festivals (You are here)

Living in China

Anyways, these are based on my experiences living in Singapore and China, and I hope these posts are helpful. On to it.

Content Warning: Magpie Bashing

Festivals (Warning: LONG. Good Luck.)

Note: I do not have personal experience with all of these. For those I have celebrated, I’ll indicate with a (*). Also I’ll only be talking about how we celebrate them (typically), because diving into the history and meanings of it all would take like 8 years (not literally but you know). Fee free to look them up, and ask your nearest Chinese human for any extra details. If they know it. You might want to look up what the lunar calendar is too. It’s basically the moon cycle calendar, but I am too bad at memorizing how it works so I just google the dates every single year. 

Also, I’m restricting this post to ONLY Chinese & Singaporean versions of celebrations. Many other regional ethnic groups celebrate the same or similar festivals, but I don’t know enough about their versions of the festivities. Another thing is that my family is from Dalian & Harbin in the NorthEast, so there is more Northern bias in my post so I might have some info that is inaccurate to festivities in the South. I did try to search for some South-specific traditions, since Yunmeng/Hubei is in South China, but I’m not entirely sure how accurate those details are.

Chinese New Year (*) - Late Jan to Early Feb (15 days after CNY day)

Before CNY, often on the eve of the actual date, we decorate our homes with red (don’t you dare skip out on decking your home with RED) decorations such as lanterns, red and orange flowers, those vertical paper banners with auspicious calligraphy on them (what are they called in English???) and whatever these things are

As kids, my sister and I would make those loop paper chains out of red and yellow paper a lot. We never knew what to do with them when the festivities were over

Spring cleaning is extremely important, we usually do it (extensively) from about a month before the festivities (and get yelled at a lot by our Chinese mothers & grandmothers especially) up to CNY Eve

Please don’t do any cleaning, particularly sweeping or throwing the trash out, on the day itself. You’re throwing the new year luck away. 

Other preparations include: buying new clothes, often with at least one red thing, visiting friends during the month prior so you don’t have to do so on the day itself and giving them little gifts and red packets, & burning new year offerings for ancestors

You will probably see lion dances on the streets and during new year parades a lot, sometimes accompanied by dragon dances, though the former is much more common. They also tend to give private performances at a discount during the CNY period, though lion dances aren’t restricted to only perform on CNY and in fact perform for special events in general, not just cultural festivities

On the night of CNY Eve, we have reunion dinners, in which we gather our entire extended family (when possible) and have a really loud, really energetic dinner party while watching the CNY Spring Gala on TV together. Or just eating if we don’t have access to a TV.

Include fish on the menu. At least one major fish main dish, not a side dish. It’s from a lucky saying: 年年有余 - nián nián yǒu yú, meaning something along the lines of “To have more prosperity this year”. The Chinese word for fish (鱼 - yú) sounds the same as 余, therefore we have fish every year. Yes it’s a pun, as many Chinese superstitions and beliefs are

Other menu items you could include: homemade dumplings (a FUCKton of them), uncut noodles, chicken or duck, pork, Chinese radish/carrot cake (side note: why the FUCK do Western articles ALWAYS translate this to “turnip cake” it’s made out of fucking RADISH or CARROT I swear to HELL), Chinese yam cakes, good alcohol and traditional sweets like tang yuan (this is basically the original version of mochi, filled with black or normal sesame filling and served in a clear, sweet soup)

There’s also one Cantonese dish known as (撈起 - Lo Hei) which is basically a salad of shredded carrot, radish, cucumber with strips of sashimi-style fish strips like salmon. You serve it to the table, pour crushed peanuts, fried dough crisps, and sweet sauce all over it, and your entire table reaches in with chopsticks and mixes everything together. It’s more common in Singapore and Malaysia than it actually is in Hong Kong and China, but I’ve had it in China before in the springtime. I fucking hate it. 

By the way, a fun game to play is the coin dumpling game. Basically, when you make the dumplings, put clean coins into some of them, and whoever eats the dumpling with the coins inside are considered super lucky for the year. I wasn’t ever allowed to make them though, my 20 years of dumpling-folding have failed me I still suck at it so everyone knows which ones are mine.

Usually, relatives living overseas would go to China for the New Year if they can, and they would take turns hosting the dinner each year. You would traditionally only have a reunion dinner in a family home, mostly because everything outside is closed

During the celebrations, lighting firecrackers and sparklers is part of the fun. Keep a close eye on the kids. 

Wearing traditional clothing isn’t necessary, but encouraged

At midnight, the younger, unmarried family members will present their married elders with gifts (usually two oranges per person or a small handmade craft) while wishing them well for the year, and in turn the elders will return the wishes and gift the youngsters red packets with money. 

The celebration period lasts for 15 days, but people typically go back to work a day or two after the actual CNY date

Personal note: I have only actually celebrated CNY once in China, back when I was tiny, so most of this is based on Singaporean experiences, what I know my in-China relatives, who live in Dalian, do, and what I’ve double checked online. But CNY is huge in China and many places celebrate it differently, so don’t get too worried about following this to the dot.

The Lantern Festival - Early to Mid Feb

In Singapore it’s actually illegal to celebrate the Lantern Festival traditionally on a large scale because of the potential fire hazards & pollution, so it’s somewhat merged with the Mid-Autumn festival here and thus I don’t know as much about this one in a “proper” Chinese context (I had to go to school in Singapore this time of year)

But anyways

The Lantern Festival comes immediately after CNY, on the 15th day of the first lunar month. It’s seen as a day of freedom for all, so everyone takes to the streets, lighting up the night with candles and lanterns

Lantern-walks are common, in which everyone holds a lantern - there are many kinds to choose from - and just walk up and down the streets together

These lantern-walks often take place alongside the official festival parades 

The dragon dances mentioned earlier are more likely to appear during the lantern festival than CNY, and the lion dances of course come as well

It gets crowded a lot. Hold onto your kids. 

Lantern riddles are fun games, in which they string up lanterns with papers hanging from them. Upon these papers are the riddles, and if you got them right you could win prizes. Or at least bragging rights amongst your family and friend groups

If you’re in a river town, you’ll likely have a chance to see water lanterns, which are also common during the Mid-Autumn Festival. They’re paper lanterns, sometimes made in lotus form, carrying wishes of prosperity. This can come in two forms, an official river lantern parade where they make HUGE lanterns for show, or smaller lanterns that just flow along. Sounds perfect for a Yunmeng Jiang family celebration, don’t you think?

Another one is the sky lanterns, which CQL watchers will recognize. People will gather together, usually on a hill, and release lanterns into the skies. Some will make them themselves, but most people will just buy pre-made ones. Like in CQL, you make a wish upon these lanterns, then sit down and eat tang yuan together.

They apparently eat a lot of tang yuan on this festival

A lot of romantic meet-ups happen on this festival (and the Mid-Autumn Festival) (y’all know what to do with this information)

This is considered the last chance of family time following on from CNY before you all return to your normal lives

The QingMing Festival (*) - Early Apr

AKA the Tomb-Sweeping Festival

To put it very basically, this is when we go to our deceased loved one’s graves and clean said graves 

We go to the cemetery in the early morning, wipe down the gravestones, clear them of debris like leaves and such, then we make offerings of food. A lot of the times, we would basically lay out a feast before the grave(s), lighting incense and also decorating the graves with flowers and such

Please do not ever eat anything in those offerings. It’s not for the living. Therefore, please feel free to stab your chopsticks upright into that bowl of rice.

You can burn offerings like paper too, usually in a burning urn (??? is it an urn?), but in my experience we weren’t allowed to do that at my grandma’s grave since it was a crowded cemetery so I don’t know how it works exactly

In my personal experiences, we usually stayed in the cemetery for about an hour, praying to the deceased and sort of chatting with them, hoping they’re doing well in the afterlife and updating them on our lives

After that’s done, we go have a picnic somewhere down the mountain and fly kites while getting bullied by asshole magpies

They keep stealing my food because apparently even they know you shouldn’t eat the food left out for the dead

One stole my necklace once ;-;

Anyways the food offerings left out are typically cleared the next morning (latest) by us or you pay the cemetery caretakers to dispose of it, but the latter is looked down upon for good reason

It’s really just best to clean it up yourselves when you can. For everyone’s sake.

The Dragon Boat Festival (*) - Late Jun to Early Jul

You could probably make a sports anime about this festival, because the main even at the Dragon Boat Festival is the dragon boat racing (shocking)

Okay all joking aside, during this festival, which is a summer event, dragon boat racers compete with one another in long, narrow wooden canoes with a Chinese dragon head carved out in the front and painted scales on the side, often really brightly coloured

They row to the beat of loud drums, with a drummer sitting at the head of each boat, facing their boat’s rowers, beating the drum as their team rows

People watching the races can do so from the shore, where they’ll be eating glutinous rice with meat/nuts/beans wrapped in large, woven bamboo leaves into a triangle shape, called 粽子 - zòng zi.  (The Malaysians & Indonesians have this too, but they use banana leaves instead)

In some places, you have viewers in viewing boats too, with the race course marked off with buoys. I fell into the water once from one of these. Luckily they make you all wear life-vests. 

Also a limited occurrence but rarer, some places will have sort of official “cheerleading” boats, in which a bunch of colourfully dressed people will shout and cheer for the racers as a whole, often waving flags the same colours as their clothes. They’re often standing, but in the same kind of dragon boats. You have to be affiliated with the local dragon boat community / heritage board to be allowed to be one of these “cheerleaders” though

When the official races aren’t happening though, visitors are often taken around the river. You can technically do this at any time, but the Chinese believe that the time of the Dragon Boat Festival is the best time for traversing the great rivers

Other things people do during this festival include drinking realgar wine, making perfume packets for children, and hanging mosquito-repellent herbs on doors and windows, but I’ve never seen this in practice and couldn’t find much else on these

To be honest, this particular festival is seen as a thing of lingering cultural heritage or just something of a traditional ceremonial practice, but is overall kinda dying as a full-fledged festival, with only the racing surviving the passage of time (In fact, this has become more of a leisure event than a festival in Singapore in recent years)

The QiXi Festival - Mid to Late Aug???

Not gonna lie I didn’t know this one existed until I looked it up

I knew the legend surrounding it (The Cowherd and the Weaver Girl - Please look it up it’s a beautiful story even though it’s not realistic because the magpies aren’t assholes) but didn’t know it was an actual holiday at all

Basically it’s kind of the Chinese version of Valentine’s Day, but it takes place in like August

Traditionally, girls took this time to show off their skills in the “feminine arts” such as weaving, sewing, fruit carving (???), tea-making (?????) and poetry (?????????). I’m confused.

They also ate special pastries and children gave flower garlands to the sacred ox statues

Apparently it’s mostly only celebrated in more traditional/rural areas now because most modern Chinese people just celebrate the Western Valentine’s Day

The legend gets to stay though

The Hungry Ghost Festival (*) - Late Jul to Early Aug (Start) / Late Aug to Early Sept (End)

This one is not a festive festival at all. You shouldn’t be enjoying this festival as a living person. But this is probably the best festival for any fics set in the modern world revolving around dead spirits being active out of everything on this list

This festival lasts the entire 7th month of the lunar calendar, so the Chinese will literally just call it the “Seventh Month (七月 - qī yuè)” or the “Ghost Month (鬼月 - guǐ yuè)” 

I’ve never even heard anyone refer to it by its full name in Chinese, which is apparently 中元节 - zhōng yuán jié or 盂兰盆节 - yú lán pén jié according to Wikipedia

Basically, the Gates of Hell the Afterlife have opened for the month to get the spirits of the deceased ease their suffering for a bit. So, the festival is actually NOT celebrated by the living, instead, it’s “celebrated” by the ghosts of the deceased

Living human practices during this festival include making various food offerings (the main point of the festival) for the spirits, usually much more seriously and/or extravagantly than typical offerings, burning offerings such as paper money, paper houses, paper cars, etc in large quantities because this is the best time for the spirits to receive them, putting on special “performances for the dead” in which performers will dance and sing to a room of empty chairs, and having special family prayer sessions in which we “speak” to the deceased directly (Luckily, they don’t usually answer us)

Nowadays, only the first two of those practices are really still practiced as seriously as they used to be, for individual families at least

Again, if you see food being left out on the side of the street, especially if there’s incense or something next to it, please don’t eat it or even touch it. Don’t be the ignorant guy in a horror movie

People who can see/hear/sense spirits and environmentalists hate this festival, because ghosts can be terrifying even when harmless, and all the burning contributes to climate change

I happen to be both of those. I am also sensitive to smoke. So...

Ironically I don’t actually hate this festival THAT much but...

Personal note: I’ve never been to China during the seventh month, and because they make it a point to not really talk about it, I only know the Singaporean experiences. Telling ghost stories is both encouraged and shunned during this month here. Malaysian-Chinese ghost stories are fucking horrifying. Give me more.

Mid-Autumn Festival (*) - Late Sept to Early Oct

My personal favourite festival on this list. I don’t like crowded places, but I make exceptions for this one when I can. I would call this the most fun and enjoyable festival out of all of them. 

When speaking Chinese, most of the time we’d just shorten it to 秋节 - qiū jié from the full name of 中秋节 - zhōng qiū jié 

When speaking English (in Singapore, but you can use these in English fics and people tend to understand it fine), we also call it the Mooncake Festival, the Autumn Moon Festival, or the Harvest Moon Festival (this one is quite an old name though)

In modern times, this is celebrated very similarly to the famous Natsu Matsuri (Summer Festival) in Japan, in which a huge festival site is fully decorated in colourful lanterns and filled with countless stalls of food, games, and festival products such as more lanterns, traditional dress rentals if you’re lucky, wooden toys, cloth products, “festival” tea & wine, and many more

You are encouraged to wear cheongsam/qipao to the festivities, but honestly most people don’t anymore, but they dress their kids in cultural clothing a lot (in Singapore you’ll also see kiddies running around in other traditional dress, such as yukata, summer hanbok, festive baju kurung, etc.)

In some places, special dragon or lion dances will be performing

Expect to find a FUCKTON of fresh fruit stalls, including pumpkins, melons, pomelos, persimmons, pomegranates, maybe starfruits, dragonfruits & guavas, and probably a heck lot of longans if you’re somewhere in South China. Also expect every individual large fruit to be decorated with red ribbons and colourful wrapping paper

Also out of every five stalls, at least one will be a mooncake stall

Mooncakes come in multiple varieties! The most common are the white lotus bean paste ones, the ones with salted egg yolks (single yolk and double yolk), snowskin ones which as much softer and sweeter, red bean paste cakes, etc.

They make some super cute shapes too!

There are even more savoury options with minced pork filling or prawn/fish filling (not a fan of the fish ones), but they’re made with a flakier pastry than the sweet ones (Note: sometimes we don’t call these mooncakes, but it depends)

Basically the sweet ones use a pastry that’s more like a typical sweet tart shell while the savoury ones use something that’s more like a non-sweetened croissant 

Traditionally, people would make the mooncakes together at home, and offer them to the moon goddess during moon worship, but nowadays most people just buy them and eat them

This festival also shares a lot of the same customs as CNY & the Lantern Festival, such as: 

Having another reunion dinner. Duck is a very common dish, along with seasonal crops. Lotus dishes are also popular around this time, depending on where you are. 

Lanterns everywhere. Water and sky lanterns are also common. You’ll also see people playing with firecrackers and sparklers.

In much more rural areas, you might get to experience the Burning Pagoda tradition, in which they set up a seven-tier tower made up of wood and straw and burn it while dancing around it. This practice is similar to the Bon Odori even in Japan. 

Fun fact: This is also basically the Lantern Festival of Singapore, because the actual Lantern Festival isn’t celebrated here

Bonus: I made a post about the most famous myth of this festival that relates to MDZS.

The ChongYang Festival - Mid to Late Oct

Also known as the Double Ninth Festival (in English) and the Senior Festival (slang)

This is basically the festival of paying respects to our elders, both living and dead

There are...going to be a fuckton of chrysanthemums everywhere. Chrysanthemum flowers decorating the place, chrysanthemum cakes (I don’t recommend googling it if you have severe trypophobia, some of the more traditional cakes have a lot of seeds and stuff on top which may be upsetting, but I would say it’s at least better than a hollow lotus pod), chrysanthemum wine, all of that

Common activities include going on easy hikes or mountain walks with the living elders, and maybe visiting the graves of those who have passed and paying respects

It’s dying in modern times, but still seen as at least a day of relaxing with your elderly family and friends

The DongZhi Festival - Late Dec (just before Christmas mostly)

The Winter Solstice Festival

Nothing much is done, we really mostly just have a special dinner together, eating dumplings, noodle soup, mutton, and hotpot. Alcohol is often present at such dinners, and you would toast to the solstice 

You’d also pray and stuff like most of these festivals, but I think that’s a given by now lol

Modern Chinese people will often get together during this time and merge it with their Christmas dinners

Aside from that, we really just celebrate Christmas, though now you can add a line of cultural significance to those modern AU Christmas fics :3

Bonus Info: There is also a Summer Solstice festival called the Xia Zhi Festival that’s essentially the same as this, except you eat a lot of noodles and go swimming, but it’s not really significant anymore in modern times, the DongZhi festival only really surviving because of Christmas, so I didn’t include it in the list

Alright, that one took like 84 years. I’m tired LMAO. 

[sheisraging]

Look, I don’t think I really want a CMBYN film sequel. I just want a special edition, Criterion Collection release of the 4-hour, uncut version of CMBYN that includes all the deleted scenes Luca teased us about, tons of dailies, a gag reel for funsies, maybe a commentary with Armie high as a fucking kite, and most importantly, all the footage Luca actually shot of full frontal Armie Hammer that he for some insane reason decided to leave on the cutting room floor. I feel like this is not a lot to ask. 

[ecoqueer]

im a different anon but like pls tell me more abt ur job it sounds super cool

Of course, anon!! I’m assuming you mean the wildlife rehab part? I actually specifically work with raptors for now (eagles, hawks, owls, falcons, vultures, kites, ospreys, etc). We’ve got a critical care ward inside where they go when they can’t handle weather or competition. When they’re in this room, they get fed twice a day and we have to cut up their food and inject medication into it. I also help with new birds coming in, I’m the one who holds them for the examination, assist-feeds when necessary, all that jazz.

Anyway, once they can handle the temperature outside, we move them to a structure we have outside. It has no temperature control but the cages are protected from rain and they don’t have to worry about competition. Once they can handle the rain (and competition, if they’re a screech owl), they go into the other part of this structure, which is like...big rooms that are half open to the sky (but barred so the birds don’t get out and die). They have much more room, several perches (instead of just the one in cages), and get a chance to spread their wings! Screech owls always end up here because they’re so tiny, they’re all kept in one of those enclosures. The birds in the cages still get cut-up medicated food twice/day and the other birds sometimes get fed once a day and sometimes twice, depends on how much they’ve recovered.

So next is the totally outside structures, where they also have competition! This is the aviaries. We have 4 small/medium sized ones and 2 huge ones (one of which is reserved just for eagles). These aviaries are fed by...there are x birds in here and we need x grams of x type per bird. So if an aviary has 12 birds and each needs 100g of uncut mice, we would need to weigh out 1200g of mice for that aviary alone.

As the student worker, I manage all of the volunteers, do what they do when we don’t have enough, do my boss’s job when she’s not in, keep up the AstroTurf on perches, replenish the rocks in the aviaries, all of the miscellaneous stuff basically, as well as record-keeping. I never thought I’d be a manager of people, but apparently I’m a pretty good one!