#kiss nightclub
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Review on Netflix's "Everyday the same night"
Netflix recently created a documentary(?) Mini series on a tragedy that killed 242 people that were 18-25 years old in Santa Maria, which is really close to my city
And oh boy.
As a Brazilian and living close to the city that it happened I am really aware of what happened since it did happened, in 2013. But this series allowed me to have a new view on it. When the fire happened I was a little kid, and all I remember from the time is walking on front of the nightclub and being really confused. It was still all black from the fire and had posters of basically each victim.
Yesterday, more precisely at 12:30 am, it completed 10 years since the fire started. And some things aren't solved to this day.
The series show us how it happened and how it affects the families to this day. For creating a sensation of solidarity, they presented us some families that lost their children to the fire. The families from the series aren't real to preserve the real people, but they seem real.
I don't think I have ever posted about it, but I am a truly lover of cinematography, I love understanding the media more than watching it. And this series is so real.
Starting with the accent. Brazil has a different accent for each state, not region, but state. And they're not slightly different from one another, they're extremely diffentey. It changes even in the same state.
And the accent in the series is perfect. So perfect it made me angry. I hate the accent from here, there are so many nonsense slangs and all. That's why I recommend to watch it in Portuguese.
And the culture portrayed is also perfect. The state of Rio Grande do Sul has such a different culture from the rest of the country, that it almost became another country not so long ago.
I love how independent of the pain, the fathers find time to sit in front of their houses, call a friend, prepare the "chimarrão" drink and talk with the friends.
The only thing not accurate is when they show the city I live in, and the hospital is a high building, with lots of buildings close to it. My city has 60k people living on it and the hospital is definitely not a modern living
Summing up; really good. Highly reccomend. Don't watch it if you're too sensitive on subjects like suicide attempts, fire, skin burns, amputation, grief and healthy parents
#review#cinematography#netflix#everyday the same night#Brazil#Rio Grande do Sul#boate kiss#kiss nightclub#tragedy#arson
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I like the way you kiss me, I can tell you miss me. - x
INPRNT
#jaytim#tim drake#jason todd#red hood#red robin#sketch#I love me some love struck Jason#the jason that is such a romantic he falls in love with tims kiss and tims such a little shit - he absolutely knows it#tim is a lip biter.#i honestly imagine this as 20 something year old tim where neither of them have seen eachother in a hot minute#and something sparks in a nightclub both kinda undercover -#and yes this is the plot of my RP 😭#i know you'll see this - loveliest person that plays my jason. hi.
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“The Endless Night/Every Day the Same Night” is a series in honor of the 10 years of a tragedy here in Brazil. On January 27 (2013), 242 young people/students were killed in a nightclub called “Kiss Nightclub/Boate Kiss” when there was a fire.
As I was moved by this story, I made a “before and after” art/gif/animation of the front of this nightclub. It's not totally the same “the after” one, actually it's just a version made by me inspired by the real front of the nightclub, but- I wanted to at least remember it in a slightly different way.
Also-⚠️ remembering!⚠️: my blog is free for all ages, but I can sometimes post this type of content. Kinda a little heavier and containing stories in real facts.
-“The Endless Night”
#important post#boate kiss#kiss nightclub#every day the same night#the endless night#netflix series#real facts
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#i feel like theyre at a nightclub or in a dark room or something#fellas is it gay to sit with your best friend while youre processing photos#and gaze at eachothers lips but never actually kiss because your crush likes to feel your pheromone levels rize?#my art#sastiel#samstiel#samcas#fanart#supernatural#spn#sam winchester#castiel
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Rosebird Week Day 8: 🦇 AU Day (Vampire) 🩸
#tw // blood#rosebirdweek#rosebird#rwby#vtm au#AUUGHHHHH#always kissing in that damn nightclub IT SHOUDL BE MEEE‼️‼️‼️🤬#u guys r NOT counting money in that back room you’re swapping spit and blood🤣#new rosebirdie week personal best. I gotta get a job bro#BUT#🥂‼️🥳ANOTHER GREAT WEEK WOOO YEAH WOO
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gregg chillin gif pack
CLICK THE SOURCE LINK BELOW and you will find #43 245x150px gifs of Gregg Chilingirian, aka Gregg Chillin as Domencio in A Discovery of Witches Season 2 (2021)! These were created from scratch by Sveja. Do what you want with these, just don't repost/claim as your own, don't use them to play Gregg as himself, use in smut/smut-based blogs, and like/reblog if using. If you like that I'm doing, feel free to commission me or donate to my ko-fi (/svejarph)! Gregg was 31-32 during filming and is Armenian and white. This show takes place in a modern day fantasy setting with magic, where he plays a vampire.
tw: choking, flashing lights, kissing, nightclubs, police, shaky camera, violence, water, waves
#gregg chillin#gregg chilingirian#gregg chillin gif pack#gregg chilingirian gif pack#fc: gregg chillin#fc: gregg chilingirian#fc: 30s#fc: armenian#fc: white#gif pack#**Sveja#choking tw#flashing lights tw#kissing tw#nightclubs tw#police tw#shaky camera tw#violence tw#water tw#waves tw
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I kinda wanna lock these two in the gameroom and see what happens...
#kuro concept:#a number of indivduals have disappeared#along the same time a certain nightclub opened up#ciel hears the rumors and orders sebastian to stop him at costs#he has a feeling theres supernatural behavior at play in there but suspicions are confirmed when he sees the dealer#obvi he wins and the dealer fucks off somewhere else#“we better not cross paths again michaelis...” “the feeling is mutual dealer...”#(and then i make them kiss)#i mean what what whattttt#who said that#anyways thats all i got#(or maybe dealer was in kahoots with undertaker cause bizarre dolls for him and bodies to experiment on for undertaker#bleh im silly#sebastian michaelis#black butler#kuroshitsuji#the dealer#buckshot roulette#smores.txt
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noise complaint by simplyclockwork
Johnlock Love Letters #2316
One loud upstairs neighbour and three days of non-stop party music lead Sherlock to an unexpected meeting. Unilock, switchlock.
#jl3#johnlockloveletters#johnlock#love letter#love letters#au fic rec#alternate universe fic rec#alternate universe#noise complaint#simplyclockwork#unilock#Strangers to Lovers#Uncertain Sherlock#different first meeting#first kiss#accidental cuddling#first time#nightclubs#night club#case fic#misunderstandings#fluff and humour#gay club#sharing a bed#acceptance#falling in love#queerness#angst with a happy ending#<100k
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In the Sims, Camilla's absolutely terrible string of romance continues!
Camilla went on a date with the werewolf from last time. It uh, didn't go well. Kept turning into awkward socialization, Camilla got swerved when she tried to kiss her, and so on. I ended the date early and had Camilla retreat to lick her wounds and figure out what to do next.
Which, I decided, would be hanging out with Lethe Eisner and trying to see if the third time was the charm. It was not. They had fun hanging out but Lethe also didn't like being flirted with.
So I had Camilla head out to some random bars and nightclubs just to have her meet people, see who was around - kinda hoping she would run into some of the other FE Sims outside of her social circle, like the Hoshidans, or some of the Jugdral gang - but instead she ended up at a beach bar on ghost night.
You know, when ghosts hang out at the bar and get discounted drinks. Ghost Night. Normal Sims stuff.
And I said to myself that after all this, I think Camilla just needs to like, flirt with someone for the sake of flirting, just like, not trying to have a relationship, I don't really think she's a casual hookup person but like, she's going through it, I'll just have her flirt with some people and see what - blah blah, Camilla made out with a ghost.
And immediately acquired a fear of ghosts.
She can't win. She just can't. This isn't just being unlucky in love. This is a curse. This is the funniest fucking subplot in this entire save file. I don't want to play as anyone but Camilla because I just want to see where this goes next.
#she has romance bars with like. six different people who include:#lethe eisner (three failed attempts at dating). emmeryn (flirted at a nightclub).#a werewolf (autonomously went on a date but then had a bad date under my control)#two random pretty girls that she's met at various bars (kissed one of them)#and the ghost of some random hot guy (made out with him; became scared of ghosts)#i think camilla needs to take a break from romance but i don't want to let her take a break#because this is /so goddamn funny/#roddy plays the sims
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No offence but I feel like some people got a little too comfortable with telling people to touch grass and swung all the way round to just straight up shaming anyone who might have a less active social life than them to feel better about themselves. “She should be at the club” was a really funny meme until people started acting like fucking middle school bullies towards people who don’t go out with their friends a lot. All those drinking/drugs/sex milestone polls were fun to engage with until it became a wierd circlejerk making fun of people who haven’t done those things before. People on twitter are once again dogpiling someone for wanting queer social spaces that don’t revolve around alcohol or loud music and telling them it’s their own fault for not having friends.
Like I get that nightclubs and sex have strong ties to queer culture and are often the first targets in the hellscape of respectability politics. It’s important we remember our roots and protect these spaces from conservative scrutiny. I mean that. They are important. But just on a surface level it seems like people are starting to see having an inactive social life as some kind of moral failing which…it’s not. I feel like an insane person for feeling like I have to say this on the fucking queer autism website but like. You aren’t inherently a bad person if you don’t have friends. You aren’t “falling behind” if you haven’t had your first kiss in your 20s or never done drugs. The real world isn’t a movie. And if you see someone who doesn’t go out much and instinctually think “wow what a terminally online loser. I bet their social life sucks because they’re a sheltered creep and not because of systemic barriers beyond their control” you need to have a long hard look at why you feel that way.
There are very real barriers that prevent isolated people from finding community and connection. Do you think you’re superior for being able to breach them? Time, money, sobriety, accessibility, none of those factors were a problem for you, so it shouldn’t be for them, right? Right?
#the wider issue is that there are little to no social spaces that don’t charge you to be there anymore#capitalism has all but eradicated the third space
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𐙚 Ao3 Fics I’ve read and love 𐙚
𐙚 infidelity by @tawus (completed)
gojo x fem reader
Your marriage to Gojo Satoru lost its initial excitement, since your husband spent all his time either at Jujutsu Tech or on exorcism missions across the world. To ease your loneliness, you picked up your favorite pastime from your student years — clubbing — behind his back. Too bad that on Satoru’s most recent mission he spots his wife dancing in a nightclub with a bunch of guys in the skimpiest dress he has ever seen on her…
𐙚 desert rose by @sadistic-kiss (on going)
all jjk men x fem reader 😭
Toji Fushiguro finds you during one of his hitman jobs. With no idea what to do with you he decides to bring you home to his house of misfits. They weren’t picture perfect but neither were you.
𐙚 mascara by @/softstellars (on going)
geto x fem reader
You've never been a particularly good person, you're self-aware enough to know it. It's your only flaw, and recently you've actually been working to better yourself. For example: paying for a 30-dollar Uber so you can take your friend home only for her to ditch you for some guy when it comes down to it. Although you’re pissed, you decide to try and make the best of it instead of get into a screaming match with her. It's an easy thing to do when Getou Suguru is offering you everything to do just that. Everything a party entails: liquor, weed, and sex with a perfect stranger. And Getou knows perfectly well you have a boyfriend, so it's not like he'll want anything serious.
𐙚 a pearl by @lemonlover1110 (completed and posted on tumblr!)
toji x fem reader
The Fushiguros needed a nanny, and the pay was too good to not apply, especially since your family needed financial help. You were the perfect nanny for the kids, they loved you as if you were their own mother. Slowly, you built up the perfect relationship with the family. Especially with Mr. Fushiguro. A man who would constantly visit you after dark. A man who you thought had sincere intentions but at the end of the day didn't care about you. A selfish man who just saw you as a tool to make his wife mad. A man who didn't care about you but didn't want you with anyone else. A man that took away your ability to know what a healthy relationship was. You couldn't speak up about it since all the fault would fall at your feet and would be deemed as the "homewrecker".
𐙚 you, my angel and my saint by @lemonlover1110 (completed and posted on tumblr!)
toji x fem reader
sequel to a pearl!
After having an affair with your boss, you're left to deal with the consequences, those being: two exhausting new jobs and a child. A child that he never got to know the existence of. Now all you had to do was keep her hidden, which should be an easy task, right?
𐙚 rings by @/bungeemum (on going)
toji x fem reader
you divorced the man in front of you for a reason. so why was he standing on your doorstep, guilt plastered on his face, and eyes glinting with hope?
𐙚 a dangerous game by @/anaoyuo (completed)
gojo x fem reader
geto x fem reader
Both men agreed to a game about who fucks you first, but they didn't play their cards right. Gojo and Geto changed the course of the game when they decided to keep you around for way longer than intended, making you fall for their sweet way to deprave you, and now you have to face the consequences in a gamble that they call their life.
𐙚 fate’s gamble by @/anaoyuo (on going)
gojo x fem reader
geto x fem reader
sequel to a dangerous game
缘分— a story about predestined affinity, set in a world where the intoxicating thrills of wealth intertwine with amorality.
𐙚 him & i by @pharixden (on going)
gojo x fem reader
toji x fem reader
sukuna x fem reader
A cheating husband, a widowed bodyguard and a malevolent fling of the past who owes a favour isn’t a combination for the faint of heart, but not every girl is a damsel in distress.
𐙚 changes by @lemonlover1110 (on going also on tumblr!)
gojo x fem reader
From childhood friends to lovers to mere strangers. Your love story with Satoru Gojo was one from a fairy tail, until it wasn't. When you were twenty-one, Satoru left you without an explanation. Five years later, you meet again but nothing is quite the same. Too many things need to be explained, especially the fact that there's another Gojo that Satoru has yet to meet.
𐙚 the man in apartment 381 by @lemonlover1110 (completed also on tumblr!)
toji x fem reader
Looking for a new beginning after the death of your husband, you move away from town. That's when you meet him, Toji Fushiguro, a widower with a three-year-old son. You two understand each other, which draws you close. Except you two don't realize that feelings would eventually develop, and neither of you want that. Feelings are the last thing you two want after finding out the great damage that they can cause. When you two discover this, it's too late.
𐙚 4th avenue viewing by @/softstellars (completed)
nanami x fem reader
Nanami Kento is intelligent, serious, reserved and can easily catch someone in a lie. It's his job to do just that, he's renowned for it. So when he comes to your university to offer up an internship, it's quite the opportunity. Anyone would jump at the chance, except for you. But no, you just had to be the one caught in a lie.
𐙚 forgotten souls by @/killerpoultry & @/bebobopobo (completed)
sukuna x fem reader
You and Sukuna have been married for years. Even though he is brash, mean, and sadistic, you love him more than anything. While he may not show it much, he truly loves you too. One day you get into a terrible car accident and lose all your memories. You learn to live once more while Sukuna must now get you to fall in love with him all over again.
𐙚 love kills by @/sourome (on going)
i actually don’t know 😭 i think toji x fem reader
The wealthy and successful Zenin family, well respected and seemingly perfect. But all that glitters is not gold. Toji Zenin, CEO and face of the Zenin Group acts like a gentleman but is a vile creature that has ruined many lives, such as yours. That married man dared to play with your mother’s heart many years ago, destroying her sanity and her life and ultimately killing her. Now years later and being all grown up you decide to seek revenge, he deserves to suffer that same destiny and die of love. With the help of a few friends you plan to become a part of his life and his every thought but you didn't take into account his son, that man had the potential to turn your plans upside down.
𐙚 the black swan by @uselesslydamaged (completed)
sukuna x fem reader
Loving someone is easy, but experiencing it is harder.
𐙚 bodyguard by @/succybuss (on going)
toji x fem reader
Your Grandfather, a man involved in unsavory businesses that has taken you under his wing, has informed you that you will be under the care of a full-time Bodyguard. Unhappy with your grandfather's decision, you decide to go out for a night of drinking for your last night of freedom. There, you encounter a man you planned on taking home, but life had other plans in store for you...
𐙚 violet lights by @septembersummer (completed)
gojo x fem reader
In which you're at a party that you should've skipped when you capture the attention of a boy who looks like an angel and grins like the devil. He looks beautiful in the neon lights, and maybe you just want to make your ex-boyfriend jealous, but trouble with a tongue ring does sound like fun, just for tonight. What's the worst that could happen, you know?
𐙚 starboy by @septembersummer (completed)
gojo x fem reader
sequel to violet lights
After your ex-boyfriend gets arrested on national television, you find yourself realizing that you really didn’t know much at all about Gojo Satoru. Well, he’s better known in the Yakuza as The Six Eyes, not that he ever told you that.
𐙚 sweet little lies by @/mooglepaws (on going)
toji x fem reader
Megumi Fushiguro is the perfect Fiancé. Caring, loyal, successful, devastatingly handsome and crazy in love with you. So how and why do you end up fucking his Dad? As your wedding looms and the consequences of your affair unfold, you have to make a choice between the Fushiguro men.
This is a Toji x Reader x Megumi but the smut is almost exclusively Toji x Reader focusing on their affair.
𐙚 the twist of a knife by @darkcat23 (on going)
gojo x fem reader
This world is dull, colourless in your eyes. You are just trying to keep going with your life, not bothering anyone, trying to support your mother and yourself. So what happens when you agree to help your ex one night? And what if you catch the attention of a certain white haired assassin? And he shows you just how colourful this world truly is. or, a story of a girl with a violent mind and a boy with violent tendencies, finding each other, intertwining, and feeding off one another. perhaps it is fate that has brought them together. or perhaps it's something more sinister, something more cold.
𐙚 untameable waves by @/circedemedici
(unknown i guess hopefully i can let you know)
has been taken down i dont know if it’ll come back but if it does i’ll link it! but i’m leaving it here because it was most definitely my favourite :(
please let me know any other fics you’ve read because i love reading fics with a LOT of plot and also let me know if you end up reading any and you enjoy them as much as i did! :3
i think i used every tag known to man LOL 𐙚
#modern sukuna#sukuna#sukuna x reader#sukuna smut#dilf toji#toji zenin#satoru gojo smut#satoru smut#jjk x reader smut#jjk x reader#jjk angst#jjk smut#jjk gojo#jjk sukuna#jjk fanfic#jjk fic#jjk x black reader#jjk x you#jujutsu kaisen smut#yandere jjk#yandere jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu geto#kento nanami smut#kento nanami x reader#nanami fluff#nanami kento fluff#nanami kento smut#nanami kento x reader#nanami smut#nanami x you
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Leonardo DiCaprio, 48, and Vittoria Ceretti, 25, spark speculation over ‘kiss’ in intimate nightclub video | In Trend Today
Leonardo DiCaprio, 48, and Vittoria Ceretti, 25, spark speculation over ‘kiss’ in intimate nightclub video Read Full Text or Full Article on MAG NEWS
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#25#48#and Vittoria Ceretti#Celebrities#Leonardo DiCaprio#Money#Motors#Politics#ShowBiz#spark speculation over ‘kiss’ in intimate nightclub video#Sport#Tech#UK#US#World
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mlb player!gojo who is the most arrogant player on the team, because he’s the best player in the baseball world.
mlb player!gojo who, during games, takes off his jersey and flexes his muscles after every home run, giving fans material for thirst trap edits on social media.
mlb player!gojo who is such a notorious womanizer that he’s seen with a new model, actress, or celebrity every week. He never looks for a serious relationship because nothing is more important to him than his career.
mlb player!gojo who gets scolded by his manager after a scandal breaks out about him and his best friend (NBA’s star player Suguru Geto) hooking up with the same girl at a nightclub.
mlb player!gojo who feels nervous for the game after the scandal because paparazzi won’t leave him alone, and the media has labeled him a “man-whore.”
mlb player!gojo who steps onto the field for the game but is too distracted to focus. When it’s his turn to bat, he makes the worst hit of his career—something no one would have expected from him—and the ball ends up hitting you, a spectator who only came to the game because your friend insisted.
mlb player!gojo who realizes what he’s done and immediately leaves the field to rush to your seat, hoping the person he accidentally hit is okay. Running up to your row, he spots you clutching your face in pain, and the sight makes him curse under his breath. Kneeling down, he asks, “Are you alright?”
mlb player!gojo whose heart nearly stops when he looks into your tear-filled eyes because you’re the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen.
mlb player!gojo who starts apologizing profusely but is suddenly snapped out of it when you slap him across the face. As he holds his stinging cheek, he hears a string of creative curses from you (ones even he hasn’t heard before) and struggles not to laugh. When your friend helps you leave the stadium, Gojo watches your retreating figure, knowing in that moment he’s just met the woman he’s been searching for his entire life.
mlb player!gojo who gets chewed out by his club and manager after the game but begs them for help finding the injured fan so he can make amends.
mlb player!gojo who, the day after the incident, contacts you through his manager via email to offer to cover your hospital expenses and asks to meet with you. When he sees your reply, stating, “Please tell your star player he can go straight to hell,” he bursts out laughing. While his manager thinks he’s lost his mind, Gojo is ready to try every possible way to reach you.
mlb player!gojo who doesn’t give up and tracks down the bookstore where you work. When he shows up, you’re still working despite having a bandage over your eye. Seeing the smug smile of “the best player in the sport you now hate the most,” you demand to know what he’s doing there and how he found you. With his usual calm demeanor, he replies, “Once I set my mind on something, I don’t stop until I make it happen.”
mlb player!gojo who somehow convinces you to go out for an apology dinner with him when your eye heals (you’re not even sure how you said yes). When he arrives outside your apartment at the time he promised, he's left breathless. Standing in front of him, blushing with embarrasment in your red dress, you watch Gojo opens the passenger door for you, and even though you still claim to hate him, his persistence makes you see him as a little more decent.
mlb player!gojo who spends the car ride battling his own desires because the most perfect woman in the world is sitting next to him.
mlb player!gojo who keeps you laughing throughout dinner and ensures you have an amazing time. To win your forgiveness, he gifts you an original 1894 edition of Pride and Prejudice, your favorite book. Your stunned expression leaves you speechless, which only makes him laugh. (And of course, he doesn’t let you return the gift, no matter how much you protest.) When you kiss his cheek at the end of the night before heading into your apartment, he gazes at you with lovestruck eyes.
mlb player!gojo who texts you every morning when he wakes up, before and after practice, and on his way to your place to ask what you’d like to eat. Even though you beg him to stop, deep down, you don’t want him to. Besides, who could stop Gojo anyway?
mlb player!gojo who tries to convince you to come to another game. When you refuse, he promises not to hit you with the ball this time. After half-heartedly punching him, you finally give in and agree to attend next week’s game.
mlb player!gojo who is hectic on the day of the game, knowing the woman he loves will be watching him live. Though his teammates ask why he’s so excited, he keeps your identity a secret to protect your privacy.
mlb player!gojo who runs straight to your seat after making the game-winning hit. Overcome with excitement, he kisses you—the woman he knows likes him but has never admitted it—fulfilling his long-time dream. When you pull him back for another kiss, tossing aside all your reservations, he whispers, “You’re all I’ve ever wanted.” And from that moment on, you’re officially together.
mlb player!boyfriend!gojo who asks you to move in with him just two days after your first kiss because he can’t stand being apart from you any longer. Though it feels sudden, you don’t really want to be away from him either.
mlb player!boyfriend!gojo who keeps your relationship out of the public eye. While you’re willing to face the world for him, protecting your privacy means everything to him.
mlb player!boyfriend!gojo who, once a notorious playboy who cared about nothing but his career, has now found the most precious thing in his life—you.
.ᐟ would you like to meet gojo’s best friends? (nba star!geto headcanons┊uefa champion!nanami headcanons)
.ᐟ Champions League Masterlist
all rights belong to the @moonlitwitchdaisy do not copy, reproduce, or translate my work.
gojo art by @teaforgods on X.
divider by @enchanthings-a
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk x reader#jjk x you#satoru gojo#gojo satoru#satoru gojo x reader#gojo satoru x reader#satoru gojo x you#satoru gojo x y/n#satoru gojo fluff#jujutsu kaisen gojo#gojo x reader#satoru gojo headcanons#gojo satoru headcanons#jjk headcanons#jujutsu kaisen headcanons
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Don't Call Me Kid - Chapter 7
(Rafe Cameron x Reader series, 6.7k words)
series summary: You'd had a crush on Rafe Cameron since you were six years old, but he friend zoned you at every turn. Once shy and insecure, you found new confidence and self-love after high school. When your high school friends go on a reunion beach trip, Rafe finally sees what he lost, but he isn't going to give you up without a fight.
tropes: unrequited crush, glow up, she fell first/he fell harder
series content: some angst, eventual fluff, slow burn, tomfoolery and shenanigans, drinking, fem!reader has occasional insecurity and body image issues
⇢ series masterlist
additional chapter cw! non-descriptive mentions of vomit
A swing and a miss, again.
Rafe’s game was all over the place, he hadn’t been able to focus in batting practice all week, and now it was the bottom of the ninth in Academy’s rivalry match against Kildare County. He was down in the count when he asked the ump for a timeout.
He had resisted the urge to look in the stands the whole game, afraid he knew what he would find, or rather, what he wouldn’t.
You usually sat behind the dugout, wearing his old jersey that he’d given you after his record-breaking freshman season, and his number in black eyeliner on either cheek. Sometimes, it would take a few days for it to wash off, and you’d show up to school with the hint of his number still faded on your skin.
No one - not his coaches, not his teammates, certainly not his father - could read him like you could. Sometimes he’d pop his head out of the dugout between innings so you could tell him his swing was a few seconds too early for the pitcher’s fastball, or that he needed to stop chasing the backdoor slider. You were never wrong.
They’d tease him in the dugout, tossing sunflower seeds at him and taunting, “what is she, your hitting coach or your wife?” Then he’d ignore you for a few innings, though he almost never got on base without checking in with you first.
Your absence from this game was glaring, one of those same teammates taunting, “can someone please get Cameron’s hitting coach on the phone for fuck’s sake?” after his third strikeout.
He’d brushed it off, but now the game was on the line, and he realized he’d endure any amount of teasing if it meant looking up and seeing you in the stands.
He stepped out of the batter’s box, took a deep breath, and craned his neck to your usual seat, hands gripping the bat tighter when his fear was confirmed - it was empty.
He struck out, and they lost the game.
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It’s actually about to happen, the moment you’d wished for on every star, every eyelash, every birthday candle since you were six years old. The moment you never thought would actually come. You’ve played this scene in your mind a million times, what your first kiss with Rafe would be like. None of the many versions took place in an alley behind a Florida nightclub, but none of them were real either, so now was not the time to be picky.
Rafe’s thumb was still lingering on your bottom lip, the rest of his long fingers caressing your jaw.
“Can I? Please?”
“Yes.”
He smiled, dimples creasing his cheeks so handsomely, and leaned in. You realized you were holding your breath as you awaited the first brush of his lips against yours.
It never came. The door to the club slammed open, making you both jump. Your already thumping heart flew to your throat as Kelce stumbled out the large metal door.
“Woah, sorry,” he jumped back, smirking at the sight of you and Rafe pulling away from each other quickly.
“What could you possibly need from me right now?” Rafe said, jaw clenched and eyes narrowed in warning.
“I came out here to find her,” Kelce pointed at you. “So calm your ass down.”
“What is it, Kelce?” You asked gently, hand on Rafe’s arm to hold him back as he started stepping menacingly toward his friend.
“Something’s wrong with Carter,” Kelce said.
“What?!” Your face flooded with concern, you started toward the club, and Rafe didn’t stop you, knowing the sound of your sister’s name dashed any hope he had of keeping you in this alleyway.
“What happened?” You asked Kelce as you brushed past him back into the crowded club, Rafe following behind the two of you.
“I don’t know, she got into an argument with Top and then she stormed off,” Kelce shouted over the thundering music as he struggled to keep up with you.
You scanned the whole club, but couldn’t find her, just Topper ranting emphatically to Tom in the corner, and Sabrina and Maddie on either side of the bathroom door, trying to talk to someone on the other side.
Kelce and Rafe were lost to the crowd as you beelined toward the bathroom, forcefully pushing angry clubbers out of the way to get there. You didn’t care, you were locked-in on finding your sister.
“Is she in there?” You asked as you approached the bathroom.
“Yeah,” Maddie confirmed, looking worried, and a little queasy. “But she won’t let anyone in.”
“She’s so wasted it’s crazy,” Sabrina added with a hiccuping giggle.
You ignored her lack of concern for your sister and banged loudly on the door.
“Car? It’s me,” you shouted, “you gotta let me in, alright? I just want to make sure you’re okay.”
After a moment, and the thought that you’d break this fucking door down if that’s what it took, the handle finally turned. She opened the door just a crack to let you slip through, and closed it back firmly behind you.
Sabrina wasn’t wrong, Carter’s intoxication was written all over her face. Flushed, clammy skin and bloodshot eyes. She threw her arms around you, squeezing tight enough to knock the wind out of you.
“What happened? Are you okay?” You asked nervously.
Before you got an answer, she was on her knees in front of the toilet bowl. You rushed to grab her hair and hold it back, getting it all out of the way with just seconds to spare before she got sick.
Thinking through the day's events, you realized no one had eaten much before you left the house, and you knew this group well enough to know it didn’t take much for them to get hammered. What you didn’t know was that while you were distracted with Rafe, the rest of your group was in the club throwing back drinks and racking up tabs like the world was ending.
Rafe was having a similar realization out on the floor, trying to wrangle everyone to the front door where he had a pair of cabs waiting. He physically dragged Topper away from the bar as he demanded another drink, the bartender shouting that he was cutoff. He led Maddie and Sabrina away from some sketchy looking guys who were inviting them back to their house boat, which they proudly advertised held gallons of their homemade moonshine. He stopped Tom from sucker punching a guy who booed when the DJ played a Drake song. He lost Kelce twice.
Once he had finally corralled everyone into the cars, he convinced the drivers to hold up so he could come back and find you. He stood by the bathroom door until you appeared behind it, jumping at the sight of him standing so close.
“I got cabs waiting,” he yelled over the music, eyeing Carter sprawled out on the dirty bathroom floor behind you.
“I can’t get her up,” you told him defeatedly, eyebrows knit together with worry. “She’s not doing good.”
Rafe brushed past you without a word or a second thought, and leaned down to scoop Carter up with ease, fireman carrying her out of the club like your own personal Superman. You followed closely on his heel, feeling guilty that you were thinking about how strong his shoulders looked and not how concerned you were for your sister.
You opened the door so he could lower her into the first cab, which only had enough seats left for you and her. Once you slid in behind her, leaning her head against Maddie, who was already dozing off with her forehead pressed on the window, Rafe made sure you were settled before closing the door.
He motioned for you to roll down the window, ducking down so he could lean on it.
“Yo Rafe let’s go man!” Topper yelled from the cab behind you before Rafe could speak.
“Give me a fucking second!” He yelled back.
Forearms against the window sill, he leaned in close enough so only you could hear.
“Just, um, don’t stop thinking what you were thinking in the alley.”
Your lips twisted into a smirk, “couldn’t if I tried.”
He gave you a wink before hurrying back to the other cab.
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You didn’t stop thinking about it. You didn’t stop when the cab driver took the wrong turn and made the trip twice as long as it should’ve been. You didn’t stop when Carter asked the driver to pull over every five minutes so she could hurl on the side of the interstate. You didn’t stop when you finally got Carter up to her room, ranting incoherently about her argument with Topper. You didn’t stop as she kneeled in front of the toilet bowl again and you held her hair back, attempting to soothe her with gentle shushes.
You should’ve been focused on your sister and the awful night she was having, but you couldn’t stop thinking about the shape of Rafe’s mouth.
The thing that finally pulled you from your thoughts of him was a sight you hadn’t seen in almost a decade; Carter started to cry.
Carter never cried, she was your rock, the shoulder for you and all her friends to cry on. She didn’t cry when she fell off the monkey bars in third grade and broke her arm, or when she was rejected from her dream school, or even when your parents got divorced. But here she was, on the cold tile of the Airbnb bathroom floor, bawling.
“Hey, hey, woah,” you said, alarm ringing in your mind as you rushed to sit beside her on the cold tile floor. “What’s going on?”
“I’m such a mess,” she gasped between sobs.
“Well, for starters we need to get you a makeup wipe,” you countered.
“No I mean, like, emotionally,” she wiped her tears with the backs of her hands, only for a new round of drops to fall and further streak her mascara down her skin.
Your sister spent her life running from difficult emotions. It was something you tried to gently point out to her many times, but she’d typically push it away with a sarcastic joke or just ignore you altogether.
You started therapy about a month after you got to college, taking the university health center up on its free psych eval offerings for freshmen. You’d shown up to your therapist’s office every Wednesday at 2:30 since then, religious about not missing a session.
You recommended Carter do the same, but she’d just brush you off with a teasing, “nah I don’t need all that, I’m supposed to be the normal one, remember?”
Taking the hint, you stopped bringing it up after a few months. But now, with Carter’s tears pooling on the floor of this Airbnb, you wished more than ever that she’d listened to you.
“Well, that’s okay,” you gently brushed the hair from her shoulder. “It’s okay not to be okay.”
Carter laid her head on your criss-crossed lap and let the tears fall harder. You rubbed her back and continued to reassure her all was going to be okay, waiting until the tears began to slow and her breathing steadied to broach the subject again.
“Do you want to…” you swallowed, preparing for her to brush you off again, “do you want to talk about it?”
She was quiet for a long moment, you sighed in acceptance that she would pick the ignoring you route this time.
Then, in a small, feeble voice, she whispered, “it’s too scary.”
“What is?” You whispered back, hand resting on her arm for comfort, praying she wouldn’t get spooked and would keep talking.
“Loving him,” she confessed.
Your heart nearly burst. You didn’t need to ask who she was talking about.
“Topper, you mean?” you responded.
She nodded slowly, “it was easier when I didn’t love him. I’m supposed to be leaving in a week. I’m supposed to be on to my next big thing, and all I can think about is what the best time to facetime him is if I’m six hours ahead. I should be thinking about me, but all I want is him, and that’s fucking terrifying.”
The thought sent her into another round of sobs, tears soaking the skirt of your dress.
“I know it feels scary, and new,” you tiptoed to your point, “but…have you ever really not loved him?”
She thought over your words, but the alcohol and drama of the evening was starting to pull her into a restless sleep.
“I’m gonna miss you,” she mumbled, half-asleep already. “So much.”
“Let’s just get you into bed, yeah?” You said, pulling her up off the floor. “We can talk tomorrow.”
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In the darkness of Carter’s room, your phone lit up on the nightstand.
You pulled your arm from under her slowly, praying not to wake her up now that she was finally snoozing peacefully, though her deep snores were occasionally interrupted by shaky breaths, the aftershocks of her sobs. You’d gotten both of you changed and into bed with some difficulty, a strategically placed trash can next to her side of the bed just in case. You reached over to check your phone, turning the brightness down so as not to disturb her.
You had a text from a number that wasn’t saved in your phone, starting with the same 252 area code as yours. You didn’t need to ask “who’s this?” because you’d know that seven digit combination on your deathbed. Deleting his contact from your phone had really been more of a cathartic exercise than anything else.
‘She asleep yet?’
‘I think so but it’s been rough, what about Top?’
‘Same, but he’s out like a light now…and snoring like a jet engine.’
You stifled your laugh so Carter wouldn’t hear, keeping your movements slow as you climbed out of her bed and padded towards the door. Wincing at the squeak of the door hinge, you pulled it slowly closed until the handle clicked.
Down the hall, the same click sounded from Topper’s door. Rafe stood with his hand on the doorknob, listening for any signs that his exit woke the sleeper inside.
His eyes flashed up to meet yours, and you shared a knowing, nervous smile. You each walked a few steps towards the other, Rafe immediately picking up on the water pooling in your eyes. You’d held it together up until now for Carter’s sake, wanting to be strong for her like she’d always been for you, but now the heartbreak of seeing her so upset was finally settling in.
“Hey, hey,” Rafe whispered, lengthening his strides to close the gap between you faster. “What’s wrong?”
He ducked to search your face for a second, your small sniffles breaking his heart. When a tear slipped from the corner of your eye, he pulled you in by your shoulders, wrapping his arms around you in a hug. You let your arms circle his waist, not taking the time to worry if this was strange or if you were okay being this vulnerable with him, just reveling in the comforting smell of him and the rise and fall of his sturdy chest under his t-shirt.
A few more tears slipped out, but with his hand rubbing soothing circles on your back while you breathed him in, your sadness faded slowly into a calm reassurance.
“You good?” He whispered, his chin resting on the top of your head.
You pulled back just enough to look up at him, arms still wrapped around his torso.
“I just didn’t know she was so sad,” you explained, your lip trembling slightly at the thought of your sister, with all her strength and tenacity, slumped over on the bathroom floor. “I should’ve been paying closer attention. I came on this trip for her and all I’ve been doing is thinking about myself. I’m so selfish.”
That thought caused more tears to roll down your cheeks. Rafe placed a palm on either side of your face, his thumbs reaching out to swipe away the salty drops.
“You,” he said firmly, his voice just above a whisper now, more concerned with making sure you heard what he had to say than making sure not to wake anyone, “are not selfish.”
Once your tears were dried, he lifted your face towards him so he could look in your eyes. You ever-so-slightly nuzzled your head into his palm, wondering if he could even feel the gentle way you were surrendering to him. His soft grin told you he could.
“He’s a mess, too,” he nodded back toward Topper’s door.
“I love them, but those two are exhausting,” you chuckled softly.
Even as the conversation lightened up, his hands didn’t fall from your face, and your arms stayed firmly in place around him, just holding each other as you whisper-laughed about the antics of the whole group this evening.
“Sabrina said you had to chase Kelce half a block,” you giggled, and he’d never felt so relieved to see someone’s tears give way to laughter. “Your dad instincts really kicked in there, huh?”
“I don’t know,” he smiled, his eyes creasing with the upward tick of his lips, “the way you basically parted the crowd to get to Carter? Topper might have competition for house mother. Maybe we’re the real mom and dad.”
You snorted at that.
“What?”
“Nothing,” you blinked back, “just funny that you’re already talking about being parents when you haven’t even kissed me yet.”
Rafe nodded, tongue darting out to lick his lips, feigning seriousness, “you’re so right. We should probably do something about that.”
“You should probably do something about that,” you taunted.
His persona cracked and he laughed, eyebrows raised.
“Oh yeah? Should I?”
You nodded, cheeks flushed, eyes sparkling at him as he leaned forward, eager to recapture the moment that had been so unceremoniously stolen from you a few hours ago.
Just before your lips touched, a vile retching noise came echoing down the hall from Topper’s room. He was vomiting again, and the romance was zapped from the air.
Your head fell back in frustration, groaning.
“You wanna go for a drive?” Rafe offered, hand sliding down your arm to find yours, fingers lacing together like they belonged there.
You nodded quickly, a smile replacing your annoyed frown. He led you down the stairs fast and you padded behind excitedly, giggling at his speed and urgency.
“Shit,” he paused before reaching into the bowl on the kitchen counter where everyone was keeping their keys. “I forgot Sabrina blocked me in.”
“We’ll take Carter’s jeep,” you offered, fishing around the bowl until you found her fuzzy pink keychain. “She parked on the road.”
“She won’t mind?” He asked.
“I have a feeling she’s gonna be out for a long time,” you pointed out. “I’m driving though.”
“Just like old times,” he grinned, your heart doing cartwheels at the memory.
Fingers intertwined, you let him pull you away from the house, and the risk of any more interruptions.
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The sky glowed with that pre-sunrise blue fog, turning the world around you into a collection of navy silhouettes. The only shape you cared about seeing was the faded profile of the man in the passenger seat next to you.
Though the air still held the chilly nip of dawn, it was warm enough to roll the windows down, which was always your preference. Your hair whipped around you in a frenzy of wind. You could feel his eyes on you as you drove, but you didn’t look back, suddenly filled with nerves, butterflies crowding your stomach and doubt flooding your mind. You just kept driving, suddenly terrified of what would happen when you stopped.
After a few minutes of unreturned eye contact, Rafe finally tore his gaze away from you, poking around Carter’s car to have something to do with his hands. He opened the glove box, and the middle console, fidgeting with every little button and knick-knack he could find.
You smirked at his restlessness and kept driving straight, not entirely sure where you were going. Rafe opened the sun visor above him, gasping at what he found.
“No fucking way,” he laughed with a disbelieving shake of his head, “Carter has CDs? Still?”
He pulled the sleeve of CDs from the visor’s clip, inspecting them closer.
“Wait,” a slow smile bloomed on his face as he observed knowingly, “these are yours.”
“How’d you know?”
“Because they’re the same ones you had in your car in high school.”
“Didn’t think you’d remember,” you scoffed.
“I remember everything about you,” he said, like it was the most obvious and casual admission anyone had ever made.
Even with the cool morning air blowing in through the window, the car suddenly felt too hot. Too hot and too small. Your chest and neck bloomed with a nervous blush as your breath quickened. How were you supposed to respond to that?
Rafe kept sorting through the CDs, nodding at each one in recognition, leaning back in his seat as if he hadn’t just dropped an atomic bomb into the conversation.
You needed to fill the silence before he noticed the tornado of anxious thoughts tearing through your mind.
“You gonna pick one?” You urged him, eager for the sound of familiar music to erase his words that hung in the air between you.
He finally made it to the back of the plastic sleeve, to a familiar silver disc decorated in sharpie in your handwriting; your favorite homemade mix that you’d played every single day from ages fifteen to seventeen.
You’d titled it “car mix,” though a more accurate title would be “Rafe’s mix.”
Sometime during your freshman year, you’d spent a whole day sitting in front of your computer, meticulously sorting through songs that made you think of him, or that you wanted him to listen to, hoping he would hear them and finally understand you somehow. It was a love letter without words, and he’d heard it a thousand times, but you doubted he ever really listened. Par for the course.
“I think that one got scratched,” you tried to discourage him from playing it, the flashback to your desperate, lovestruck younger self a little too much to handle at five a.m.
Rafe turned it over in his hands, inspecting it for those so-called scratches, finding nothing satisfying.
“Looks good to me,” he disagreed, popping it into the CD player and beaming bright as the first song began to play through the speakers.
“Oh my god,” he laughed, “it’s like we’re in a time machine.”
You agreed, the familiar opening notes of the first song you’d picked for him sent you flying back in time, to a girl you thought was long dead, and the boy next to her, whom she’d loved to her grave.
Chills shot up your spine, a warning shot before the tears that were beginning to gather on your lash line. You pulled the car quickly to the side of the road, sand flying up with the screech of the tires. You realized then that you’d somehow found your way to the public beach, the parking lot empty and sandy shore free of any sunbathers or surfers.
Rafe turned the music down, looking at you quizzically as your foot slammed on the break. Before he could ask what was going on, you were pulling the keys from the ignition and throwing off your seatbelt, hopping down from the driver’s seat and slamming the door behind you. He scrambled for his door handle as you started walking quickly toward the water and away from him.
The salty air was so thick you could taste droplets of seawater on your lips before you were even halfway to the shore. The waves crashed violently, remnants of the week’s storms throwing the water back and forth until it was foaming and angry.
Angry. You were as angry as the sea, sand kicking up with each stomp of your foot as you hurried as far away from him as you could possibly get. His long legs were already catching him up to you as he chased you down, calling your name.
Despite your efforts to outpace him, you could feel him gaining on you, nearly at your heel by the time your toes touched the water’s edge. Flight would not be an option, it was time for a fight.
“You remember everything?” You whipped toward him, nearly knocking him over with the force of the glare that met him. You stalked toward him, catching the way he backed up just a step before squaring his shoulders and planting himself until you were nearly chest to chest. “What the fuck am I supposed to do with that, Rafe?”
“What are you talking about?” He asked desperately, scrambling from the whiplash of your sudden outburst. “What the hell just happened?”
He was genuinely so clueless as to the reason for your sudden shift in mood, reeling like he was mentally still back in the car listening to music, eyes scanning your face as he tried desperately to catch up. You almost took pity on him. Almost.
“I can’t,” a lump lodged itself into your throat and you bit your lip for a second to hold it down, “I don’t think I can do this.”
“What? Can’t do what?” He begged for clarity.
You just shook your head, a final plea to your own tears not to fall in front of him, but they betrayed you, one single drop slipping down your face. You turned from him quickly as a final ditch ending to hide them from him, and stepped away further down the beach.
“No, no wait, please wait,” with two easy strides he was close enough to touch you, wrapping his hand around your wrist to turn you toward him. “Don’t do this to me. You said you’d remember the alleyway, we were so close. We are so close.”
“Are we?” You challenged him. “If we’re so close then why can’t I even ride in the car with you without feeling like I can’t breathe? You don’t get it, Rafe. You don’t understand that every memory feels like a fucking sucker punch.”
“Then let’s not focus on the memories,” he suggested, “I just want to be with you right now.”
“Why now?” You burst out, another tear breaking through the barricade and sliding traitorously down your cheek. “Why not then?”
They were the two questions that plagued you since you saw him on the beach. You felt you knew the reason. You looked different, he was attracted to this version of you. Even though it would hurt like a bitch, you really wished he would just admit it, that he only wanted you because of how you look now, so you could finally just hate him and move on.
Instead, he continued his time honored tradition of giving you the exact opposite of what you wanted.
He looked straight at you, no waiver in his voice as he said, “because I wasn’t ready for you. I wasn’t good enough.”
It was the perfect answer, and your worst case scenario. Heartfelt, honest, a hot knife to the wall of ice you’d worked so hard to build between you and him. As he’d done so many times before, Rafe melted you.
Soft eyes, you tilted your head as you studied him, “and you are now?”
“No,” his laugh surprised you, scoffing as if it was the most ridiculous question in the world. “But I’m smarter. Smart enough to know that I’ll never be good enough for you. Who could be?”
The last chips of ice melted away entirely at those words, the image of his sweet smile when he said them etched itself on your heart in a way you knew was completely permanent.
As so often happened when you were at a crossroads with your own mind, you heard Carter’s voice ringing through your thoughts. Though this time, it wasn’t a quippy comment about Rafe, or a catchy mantra to encourage you to hold your head high. Instead, you heard her weak, cracked voice as she cried on the bathroom floor just hours ago; “it’s too scary.”
Suddenly, you knew exactly what she meant.
Your every instinct was to pull away from him, hide away the vulnerable thought to avoid any risk of him making it worse. But as he looked down at you, the first traces of sunrise streaking across the horizon, casting a gold-pink glow on his cheekbones, something in the back of your mind was saying you could trust him.
“I’m scared,” you all but whispered.
Rafe lifted his hand slowly, as if you were an elusive, wild thing that would run off at any sudden movement. When you didn’t flee, he took the chance to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, voice dropping low as he said, “I know.”
“How am I supposed to know you won’t hurt me?”
Your deepest fears continued to flow out of you, into his waiting hands, praying he wouldn’t let you slip through his fingers.
“I don’t think you will until you give me a chance to prove it to you,” he countered.
You knew he was right. Holding him at arm’s length would never get you the answers you needed from him. You’d never know if he had really changed unless you got close enough to relearn him, and you’d never know how he really felt about you unless you gave him a second chance to show you. You aren’t generally opposed to second chances, more likely to give them out then, say, your sister is.
“You know what Carter would say?” You chuckled darkly, unable to detangle your sister’s voice from your own conscience even if you wanted to. “That you don’t deserve any more chances.”
“That might be the first thing I’ve ever agreed with her on,” Rafe was quick to acknowledge. “But you know what else she’d say?”
“What?” You asked with raised brows, skeptical that he had any clue what Carter would actually say, and knowing she would hate that he was claiming to.
“That you deserve a chance.”
Funny thing is, that’s exactly what Carter would say. She didn’t really know how badly you wanted him, that you were starting to suspect you might just be happiest when you’re with him, but she always encouraged you to do what made you happy, even when it was something she didn’t understand.
“And if I’m what you want then I just happen to be the luckiest idiot in the world, because I want you too. You have no idea how badly.”
The tide was coming in, the very edge of each wave nipping at your toes before being pulled back out to sea. Rafe’s confession made you feel so unsteady, you wondered if you’d crumble and get pulled out right with it. Your mind reached for anything to ground you before you drowned in him completely.
“Why?” You asked him, needing his answer like a port in the storm.
“Why?” He repeated, either confused by the question or by the need for it. Somehow, both possibilities annoyed you.
“Yeah, tell me why you want me,” you placed your hands on your hips, shoulders squaring up with him in challenge. “And you’re not allowed to use the word beautiful, or cute, or call me baby.”
“This kinda feels like a test,” he laughed, scratching the back of his head.
“Yeah? Maybe it is,” you huffed. “And this time there’s no cheating, no open book. And no me to slip you the answers.”
“Can I get a few minutes to review my notes?” His cheeky pout was so cute you worried you were about to fold right there on the spot.
“Fine,” you allowed, “you get one minute to think about it.”
He feigned worry, faked stress, biting his thumbnail and looking out over the waves as if he actually had to think it over.
In reality, he was more prepared for this test than any he’d ever taken in his life. He’d spent years thinking about this moment, about what he would say, what he could say that would possibly be enough.
While you waited for him to speak, you mirrored his stance, facing the water with your hands wrapped around you.
Rafe turned his head slightly to take in your profile, the sliver of daylight creeping over the horizon making your features glow so romantically.
You could feel his eyes on you, but you tried to focus on the count in your head, dutifully keeping track of the seconds until his allotted prep time was up.
Evidently, he didn’t need a timer, his voice broke the silence before you had even gotten to forty-five.
“Y’know, I got a walk-on tryout invite for baseball at Chapel Hill,” he started.
You resisted the urge to look at him or respond, despite your mind racing to connect the dots between that statement and the challenge of explaining why he wants you.
“I was…so shitty,” he laughed at the memory, “I mean just awful. Striking out in the cage, my fielding was all over the place, I dropped a fucking pop fly. I’ve made that play a thousand times and the one time it counted, I dropped it. I mean, you wouldn’t have even recognized me out there. And the best part was that my dad came to watch. He bribed an old alum buddy to get him into closed tryouts just to watch me absolutely shit the bed.”
His smile faded.
“It was the worst day of my life. The coaches didn’t even call me themselves, they sent me an automated email to tell me I didn’t make the team. They were nice enough to send me some film from the tryout, though. I must’ve watched it a hundred times. I was spiraling like a bitch, just full on meltdown. I watched that film over and over, like some kind of torture. When I watched it, I just kept wondering how that guy could’ve ever been considered good.”
He turned to you, looking down at you intensely, hesitating for the first time since he started talking.
“I know I fumbled you. I knew it from the second it happened. And,” he swallowed hard, struggling with the next part. “I knew you were in love with me.”
Your head snapped to the side to look at him, face beat red.
“I was an idiot, but I wasn’t blind,” he continued before you could interject a defense. “The problem was never that I didn’t know, it was that I didn’t know why. But the way you looked at me, I don’t know, it made me feel like I must be like, somewhat good. Why else would you care about me if I wasn’t? But then when I was fucking rotting in my dorm watching that film over and over it dawned on me…you didn’t love me because I was good. I was good because you loved me.”
Breath escaped you, eyes glossy as you let those beautiful words sink in, but he wasn’t done.
“I thought it was just a lucky break that I got you for four years. And of course I fucked it up, I fuck everything up. After those tryouts, I had nothing, no one. I failed my classes, dropped out of rushing a frat, I stopped talking to everyone. Shit, even my sisters were calling me to see if I was okay. I got it together eventually, kind of, but it’s never been the same. I have never been the same…since you. But then I saw you on the beach the other day, and it kind of hit me. The biggest loss wasn’t your love for me, or my fielding skills, or the bullshit frat parties. It was my best friend. You were my best friend. You were - you are - my favorite fucking person. When all that shit happened, you were the only one I wanted to talk to, and I couldn’t, I didn’t deserve to. But god, I’d give anything, anything, to have my best friend back. You don’t have to…be with me. I understand if you don’t want to. But please, can we just be friends again?”
You blinked up at him as he finished his monologue, all his words swirling around your head like cartoon birds, dizzying and all consuming. You wished it really was a test, cause then you’d have a printed copy that you could study and analyze and go over and over with different colored highlighters.
But it wasn’t a test. It wasn’t a metaphor. It was just you and the boy you love standing on the beach at sunrise, looking at each other like you were the only two people on earth.
“No.” You said, shaking your head.
His eyes blinked rapidly, trying and failing to hold back his emotion. Before he could spiral any further, you added,
“I don’t wanna be friends.”
His eyes flicked over yours for just a second, double checking, asking you silently if that meant what he thought it did. You gave him the slightest nod, as if to finally say “yes, Rafe.”
Rafe’s hands landed firm but gentle on either side of your face, pulling you towards him. Your lips met in a symphony of passion and affection and need and a mutual sigh of fucking finally.
He tasted better than you’d ever imagined, a sweet rush to your head as his tongue parted your lips slightly. He pulled back just an inch to let his uncontrollable smile break against yours, laughing into each other’s mouths in disbelief and pure, unadulterated joy. Once he was satisfied that you understood how happy he was, he pulled you back in.
If the first kiss was a spark, the second kiss was a goddamn explosion. He kissed you like the tide kisses the shore in a hurricane, his tsunami waves crashing into you over and over again. His tongue took over, claiming you, taking up space in your mouth like he never planned to leave. His hands drifted, one to the back of your head, laced in your hair, the other on the small of your back, holding you against himself. Your hands snaked up his arms, savoring every inch of him until you reached his shoulders. You linked your arms around his neck, pulling him down to you as you stood on your tiptoes to meet him, finding middle ground for the first time in your lives.
After a while, your lips parted, both of you desperate for breath, the lack of oxygen dizzying.
“So,” he smiled, hand still cradling your head and his thumb sweeping over your bottom lip, “did I pass?”
“Hmm,” you pretended to consider it, “A minus.”
“What? You must be grading on a curve,” he shook his head.
“Maybe you could do some extra credit,” you flirted.
With a sly smile at that, he returned his lips to yours, and you forgot a time when you didn’t know what it was like to kiss him.
Time passed, the sun rose, night bloomed into morning, and Rafe kissed you for what could’ve been a lifetime. With each minute that passed with his lips on yours, you felt all the bad memories fade to gray, the past washing away with the crash of the waves, leaving only him.
⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄
Carter’s Jeep sat parked on the side of the road, the interior dark in the early morning light, except for the phones buzzing uncontrollably on each seat.
On the passenger's side, Rafe’s phone blew up with texts from Topper. The most recent reading ‘dude, we’ve got trouble at the house…’
On the driver’s seat, yours lit up with twelve missed calls and a single text from Carter,
‘Don’t come back.’
(chapter 8: part one)
a/n: please note, the taglist for this series is currently closed. For updates, follow @whytheylosttheirminds-works and turn on notifs 💕
#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron fic#obx fic#drew starkey#rafe obx#rafe fanfic#rafe fic#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron imagine#obx#outer banks#outer banks fic#topper thornton#x reader#rafe x reader#rafe cameron angst#rafe cameron fluff#don't call me kid#topper obx
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