#kirby can program now

[fafameow]

Sorry to come out of nowhere but I just wanted to say that your art is so warm and so colorful and so ROUND in all the best ways and your style really captures my favorite things about Kirby! I've always found it really inspirational!

Also, I love the way your line art looks?! I have to ask (you don't have to answer though) is there a specific brush or technique you use to get that soft, multi-layered effect?

Either way, wishing you a wonderful day!

Thank you so much for your nice message, it means a lot!! I've been wanting to make a small tutorial about how I make my Kirby art, so I guess your question came right on time hehe ^^ As I'll be explaining all of my process, I'll also answer your question about my line art! Btw my art program is Paint Tool SAI and I'll also be showing the brushes I use as well as their settings (i made up most of them a long time tho).

So first here's the brush that I use for basically anything, whether sketch or lineart!

It took me a while to understand what you meant by multi-layered effect, but no the brush doesn't do that, that's actually my way of doing "lineart" (ig it's not really lineart cus I just do sketches that I clean later on).

I then clean up everything, add the details and block by using a grey color.

Afterwards I add the flat colors! I already have my own made up color palette, but otherwise I always use a purple color as overlay.

And I also use that same shade to color the lineart!

Next comes the fun part, shading! Here's THE brush that gives that soft effect to all of my drawings ^^ It's the same setting as my eraser too!

And yeah I also shade with light purple lol

There's also some other brushes that I use for more effects, like the airbrush! (I don't think I've touched the settings that much) I mostly use this one for lighting effects.

And finally the water brush! I sometimes use it for blending or for quick backgrounds,

but you can also see that when put it to "Spread" it also becomes the one that I use for my blushes hehe

Aaand I believe that's all of the brushes I use for my art! I do have more, but I only use those for other specific stuff like animation or pixel art.

Adding some details AND VOILÀ!!

Now you know how I make my Kirby art! (but this also applies for all of my art) I sometimes redraw on the contours to give that "pop up effect" a bit like what they did in rtdldx lol ^^

I really hope it was easy for everyone to understand cus this is my first time making a tutorial! And to Desultory Novice, I hope I managed to answer your question too!!

Thanks again and have a great day :D

[nitewrighter]

I love your take on how Peter Parker would mesh into the DC Universe, especially as the guy that the Forever People and New Gods gravitate towards. When it comes to Spidey getting tossed into cosmic level threats, such as the original '84 Secret Wars miniseries, he's usually the designated "guy everybody underestimates" because even though Peter is a street-level hero by choice, he can punch SIGNIFICANTLY above his weight class. Like taking on "They can smack The Hulk around" heavyweights. Not only that, but he's a scientific genius who can rub shoulders with the likes of Tony Stark and Reed Richards, in spite of being this dorky, wisecracking wallcrawler.

His whole thing is that when he's around other heroes, because Peter is so secretive about his secret identity, others tend to make wild assumptions about him that Peter never bothers to correct them about, because he is just that short of being Batman-levels of paranoid about his secret identity being uncovered and having it or his loved ones used against him. He's ALSO the one who believes the best in everybody, regardless of what they might think of themselves. He holds his peers to a certain standard, so when they betray that standard, and betray their fellow heroes, THAT'S when Peter gets pissed, and you have moments where he solos like... the ENTIRE X-Men team or something to that effect.

It's why Wolverine, despite being an extraordinarily violent individual, considers Spidey a friend, because Peter genuinely believes that Logan can be so much better than he believes himself to be.

He's like this hodgepodge of Billy Batson, Dick Grayson, Jimmy Olsen, and Bruce Wayne all rolled into one wisecracking package.

I think it also helps that Spider-Man very easily slips into the role of someone who speaks out on behalf of those who are marginalized because, at his roots, he's from a very economically unstable background--he's usually having to negotiate his superheroism with a job that barely keeps a roof over his head, and I think one of the things that makes Spider-Man such a beloved and relatable characters is that, his connection to the world of superheroes doesn't actually protect him from the very mundane, everyday threats of existing in capitalism. He has to worry about keeping a roof over his head, he has to worry about keeping a roof over Aunt May's head, he has to hold MJ's hand while she sobs over community theater programs for local kids get shut down or how she didn't get that callback because even though she's immensely talented she, quote, 'doesn't have the right look.' So he's also this natural advocate of people who get passed over by life in ways all these Marvel heavy hitters don't even think of.

Captain America: Why didn't [Villain of the week] just do [very obvious Lawful Good solution]?

Spider-Man: Because No Child Left Behind shut down 5 different schools in his area, he's in a food desert, a drug arrest for a drug that is now legal is still on his record and actively affecting his hiring prospects, and during the decades you were on ice lawmakers have been steadily killing all the local and federal support programs and antitrust laws you enjoyed in the 40's.

Captain America: Ah. Yeah. That'll do it.

So I think the Forever People (and by extension, the Hairies), being kind of a love letter to counterculture themselves, would be a great team-up for Spidey. Again because they're technically aliens and lack a lot of Earth context, everything about our planet is amazing and new and groovy to them! I think it would be a good blend of characterization, again, with a Spider-Man who's definitely getting severely burnt out and struggling with the sustainability of being Spider-Man and existing as Peter Parker.

Jack Kirby's notes on the Hairies also definitely overlaps with his philosophies on the Forever People, so I'm definitely putting this in here:

Kirby is literally so passionate and insane. But I love the idea of a very exhausted and jaded Spider-Man putting it on himself to be a guide and protector for a polycule of mind-blowingly optimistic space-hippies and somehow healing in the process.

(This is the vision) (Also maybe Spidey gets to get fused into Infinity-Man with all of them at some point. Infini-Spidey. Working name.)

[desultory-novice]

Springing off of @icedragonlizard 's post about there not being a Dark Meta Knight plushie yet and why he deserves one...

...Crazy conspiracy theory here, but sometimes I feel like HAL put Dark Meta Knight in Star Allies without really thinking about the massive effect that the inclusion of the cameo Dream Friends would have on the fandom and the perception of the cast as a whole!

Like, people have already commented on how certain profiles make it sound like certain friends would be more likely to side with the Jamba Cult or just want the Jamba Heart for themselves!

But the Kirby series being the Kirby series, this suggestion of questioning loyalty faded slowly as the fandom came to warmly greet all of the friends... :cough: Susie :cough: WARMLY GREET ALL OF THE FRIENDS as Kirby's tried and true companions!

This came full circle in Merry Magoland where the park's golden statues really imply that, from the point of view of Magolor (himself implied to have seen multiple different timelines) these people are all HEROES who helped Kirby and saved the day with him!

...But then, HAL and even the fandom seemingly couldn't figure out a way to explain Dark Meta Knight's change. Even Daroach, who is almost explicitly in Star Allies to steal the Jamba Heart, was a steadfast ally in Mass Attack. It's easy enough to spin him becoming a friend. But DMK never had that moment of ally-ship. (Neither did Marx, but his heavily implied friendship with bad-guy-turned-good-guy Magolor indicates that he can at least behave.)

A few people, myself included, have worked hard to try and discover and share about DMK's heroic (?) side that could potentially earn him a place in the Star Allies! (In my verse, he's explicitly a forever unsung, uncredited hero of KatAM, mostly due to him being a terse bloodknight.) but I'm not sure HAL has decided just what he is yet.

Heck, he has NEVER had a speaking line, I don't think?!?

I don't know if this absence of additional lore means that they're still figuring out how they want to characterize Dark Meta Knight going forward or if they're all in their office sweating right now going, "Oh god!! We accidentally canonized the biggest jerk in the Kirby series as a HERO because we wanted to save on programming costs by including a palette swap Meta Knight!! How do we fix this?!?"

...But the Kirby Twitter DID make that post about DMK's ranking and the Mirror last year when Magoland was going strong, so they haven't forgotten about him. Even if they're staying characteristically... silent ...about him for now! ^_-

[neogandw]

Page 4 of 6, the rest can be seen here.

Honestly this is the part where I just get to have fun with the training montage and the reason of why I love Smash Bros like I do.

The gameplay IS fun even if I don't actually play online matches all that much (I'm not all that competitive, I play mostly solo or with friends exclusively), but to me Smash Bros is a toy box.

I love these universes and Smash Bros has introduced me to many more over the years, to me its an introduction to various things I could learn and play with, and even more fun to me its concocting how these series gel together and how you could use their elements as playthings to craft a story or a cohesive universe.

I explored this before with another massive comic I made, honestly kind of one this is a sequel to. Its "The Strongest Fighter".

To me, I am not interested at all in "who would beat who", I prefer to think of "Okay, if these two were to meet, how WOULD it go down?" or "If so was in this situation, what would they do?", the joke of the Strongest Fighter comic is not to actually decide who is the strongest in terms of made-up power levels, but rather an exploration of how these characters view and talk about one of their own in a context disguised as a poorly thought-out question.

A lot of people tend to miss this, sadly, even if Shulk points out "Anyone can beat up Kirby" rather blatantly at the end.

So, going back to Page 4, its also similarly an exploration of the question "how do you go on about getting strong in this context?".

With splatoon, there's not much other than "pick up the weapon and sink or swim, we ain't an helicopter parent, you figure it out". But when you introduce the idea of a MENTOR (specially one out of universe like Peach is) how would you go on about teaching something so abstract as getting good aim?

Its not so much that Orange needs training in weaponry at all, I did make it a point to show that she was Super Fresh with everything BUT the Chargers back on Page 1, but that her aiming skills with the Charger are so off that:

Speedy targets won't stay still (Joker just dodging out of the way)

Her shots are blantantly obvious (Samus just leaning her head to the side)

She's not using shooting at a range, so her aim is so off that she misses even in Super Flat World.

So the training montage is tackling these issues.

Study up and learn how the weapon actually works, as I said her first mistake was skipping up Sheldon's explanation, so the first thing Peach does is explain the basics of the weapon to Orange (if you notice, the billboard does show things like leading the shot as exemplified with the Rabbid, using bombs to flush out your enemies and the importance of things like Ink Saver). Basic stuff, but you do hit the books to learn your tool.

Learn in a safe envoirement that is somewhat predictable, and it is slow going (notice the timer of the Break the Targets), get used to shooting long-distance first and foremost, no matter how long it takes.

Then you introduce the erraticness (AKA: the ducks) and practice off that, Orange hit exactly half and Peach mentions as much. The dog may laugh, but its a start.

And finally, put it to the test. I specifically chose Sonic to be the target to be hit because he'd be the most erratic, fastest and would NOT allow himself to be hit that easily. Landing a headshot on Sonic has to be the hardest thing you could do.

I did mostly pick scenarios that would be funny, but I did want it to be a ramping up in getting good. Not just jumping from point A to point B and just skipping to "welp, you're a god at sniping now".

Anyway, the hidden jokes and references of this page:

I used to be a teacher (programming, if you're curious), so the panel of Inkling Girl going to school is reminiscent of my experiences as a teacher and a student. hence why Inkling Girl's set-up on the school resambles what I know rather than the desks you find on Garreg Mach. Such as taking special attention to draw the ever present ruler, using a square notebook for math, the pencil sharpener and erasers being the ones we use down here on México and the bag being a knock-off rather than an official product. Its just sort of the norm you see around here.

You may notice the random calendar on the Garreg Mach page on the top left. On the coloring process I decided to add to the joke of Inkling Girl going to school by imitating a Persona UI.

Originally the joke was to have it be styled after P5's, but the UI used wound up being Persona 3's instead. Not only is it topical thanks to Reload, but the reason I did it is that curiously -just as I was working on this panel- I hit this date on reload ( 8/10 ) and it just so happened that THIS is when you downright lose an entire week worth of days because Mitsuru decided to sign you up for summer classes without consulting you. Fitting for Inkling Girl sacrificing her own free time to learn and study.

Small thing, but if you actually read Orange's notebooks you may notice she's dividing by zero.

Just to show how much Inkling girl sucks at aiming, the break the targets timer is there to show how badly she's doing. Normally during Break the Targets you either get timed to your best time counting UP if you're doing it on the dedicated mode or counting DOWN from 2 minutes if you do it from Classic Mode. The timer instead reads 28:05.15, meaning that Peach had her do it at her own pace and its been nearly half an hour of just missing shots (since she's only been able to hit 1 target so far).

Also, the timer number may be random, but its actually Splatoon 1's release date. I love to hide significant numbers like that on my works. I forgot to mention it but Peach's player ID back on page 3 was also a release date.

And to add on to the cute factor, the platform they're standing on in Break the Targets is actually taken directly from Peach's stage. So she's lending her own target test for the practice.

Fun fact: on the Duck Hunt panel you can see the UI discussing how many ducks have been hit by Inkling Girl. Not easily apparent though is the blue bar below the ducks.

THAT is the minimum requirement. In the original Duck Hunt the UI for the duck tally would shift over to the left and be compared to that blue bar, if you didn't shoot enough ducks to go beyond where the bar was pointing at the game would end.

Essentially, Peach is asking for a bare minimum of 4 ducks to be hit, which Inkling Girl technically did as she managed 5, but she's still frustrated due to the dog's mockery.

Irregardless of how the montage was gonna go on the planning phase, I always wanted to have Sonic be the last test for Inkling's improvement because -once more- I like to think more in-character when writting down these scenarios.

Sonic is the fastest thing alive, he's capable of dodging whatever bullet or explosive eggman tends to throw at him (capable, not reliable, it depends on player input if he does so or not). So he'd be perfect for target practice, specially for something like Sniping.

Sonic's pride would NOT agree with being shot in the face, admittedly, but he could be talked into it if asked as both a challenge and a request. Peach wouldn't put anyone in danger and it is really just ink, so if its for the sake of helping others, Peach could reliably ask Sonic to do it and he'd at least take solace in helping someone else. Though he'd likely taunt and make it as hard as possible due to his ego.

To show that it was amicable and that Sonic agreed to it I had the two bits of Peach handling a tower and Sonic giving a thumbs up, to show that he was in on the plan.

I could have drawn Green Hill Zone again (in fact, the planning phase did had it AS Green Hill), but I instead opted to go with Seaside Hill as the background (kind of a mistake on my part since Ocean Palace is OBTUSE on its architecture), mostly because I wanted some scenery variety with Sonic, its not always gonna be on Green Hill Zone, you know.

The Loading screen that Inkling is having on her head while she realizes she passed the final test is from Sonic 06, which I shouldn't have to tell you that its infamous for its loading.

I originally wanted it to be Splatoon's loading icons, but those would have required animation since they're not visually understandable otherwise. So I just went with the Sonic theme and made it match.

The UI used for the last two panels are the stage clear screens for Splatoon 2 and Splatoon 1 respectively. Also, I didn't just copy-paste the assets from Splatoon 3 into the comic, every time you see the weapon icons like that its one of my recreation of those assets.

[darth-sonny]

Does Kirby understand the Krang language? It looks like the twins (Popstar! I love that name) are speaking krang so I was curious if Kirby could understand it (and mabe Leo can too). If they can, what if some random day Kirby speaks the language and freaks Leo out.

they do!! it was the first language they spoke when they were an itty bitty newborn baby. the Kraang language is a bit different from normal languages in that it's pre-programmed into Kraang’s brains to already know. and it's the same for the small potato

and since they've been speaking it since they were a baby, nobody in the family really bats an eye at it since they have no idea about the Kraang language. neither Kraang they met spoke it during their brief time outside the Prison Dimension, so how would they know what it is? they all just chalked it up to yōkai/mutant baby talk (although Splinter is the only one who knows what baby mutant turtle talk is like, he just chalks it up to "every child is different")

as for Leo... he can understand Kirby. the pre-programmed thing applies to him too, although he can only understand it, not speak it or write it like Kirby can. and he doesn't freak out when Kirby talks like that. he probably just thinks it's a language that Kirby made up since they're a little kid, or just very weird (but still understandable) turtle noises

but of course, after puberty, Leo now fully realizes "oh! it's a legit alien language my kid can fluently speak! alright then!"

[kirbsmakemesmile]

i want to ask a question 😈Very specific lock in

Do you think kaiby coincidentally landed back on poopstar on his birthday or was it just a random day 🧐🧐🧐 When they celebrate his “anniversary” is it his birthday or literally just the anniversary of when he landed in the town basically

also does he 🤏 realize when kaibys birthday is and does he do anything to celebrate it guess (sad immediately but he would write letters for kaiby to read when he’s older methinks , i’m also almost 100% sure you’ve talked about this before but DOOONNTTTT CAARREEEE HAD TO ASK

HELLO BRODIE

okay so yes, I think it would make a lot of sense for the ships to be programmed to land on their birthdays so parents know when their kid would arrive (the reason why it took a year to land was because it was past his birthday when the war was over so it waited until his next one) Now the cappies don’t know it’s his birthday (cause they don’t know anything) so they just celebrate it as the anniversary, and basically yeah. I think Mk would do something for Kirby’s birthday each year, I don’t think letters are possible without revealing that Kirby is his son (he doesn’t want anyone to know yet) because he literally cannot see so he would have to have someone write for him (of course maybe in the future he adds letters because he can ask for help from people he trusts) so maybe something else. I mentioned he did textile work, so watch hear me out, a cape for Kaiby (because he won’t grow out of it) that he adds into to each year his birthday passes, and he gifts it to him the birthday after amazing mirror happens okokok BECAUSE BECAUSE BECAUSE, in that game meta knight had to fully rely on Kirby to save him from being sealed in an alternate dimension forever, so this is the peak of their trust being grown and so it means a lot for him to finally give this gift to Kirby, and it also take a lot because he can’t even see it dude so he’s like kind of iffy about it but he does it anyways cause he loves his son SIGH. And it would be the most intricate like beautiful designs I cannot lie, it would have his story like of Kaiby in his life from the very beginning until the current time and he would continue adding to it every year even when Kirby has it.

I’m crying

[katboykirby]

Drop some facts about SoloKTan immediately. (It’s the only thing that can make my day better)

-💚

OH okay ☆

Have a rough summarisation of their backstory from S1 ~

We know that Satan and Solomon canonically knew each other prior to the events of the first game (Solomon is seen to already be in casual, friendly relationships with both Satan and Leviathan during the early chapters of OG)

Once the exchange program started, and they were both introduced to MC (Kirby), the first few weeks remained mostly amicable. They both had a reciprocated/mutual interest in Kirby, but things were still relatively low-stakes at this point.

As time went on and that interest progressed into actual feelings, that's when things started getting messy. As it became more clear that there was something potentially serious here, that there was a very real possibility of an actual relationship, both Satan and Solomon started butting heads more and more often. Satan was the first to shift his view into seeing Solomon as a rival, a direct competitor for Kirby's attention. Solomon played it off as if he didn't even consider Satan to be genuine competition, but he was aware that the Avatar of Wrath had the undeniable advantage of actually living in the same house as Kirby.

On Kirby's part, they differ from the blank slate MC in the games in that Satan and Solomon are the only two love interests for them. So the canon 11-way split between suitors is reduced to only two, creating a pretty intense love triangle (since all the romantic tension in the games is now attached to the 3 of them alone with no other buffers)

To say that this stresses Kirby out is a dramatic understatement. They are an introvert who tends to avoid being the center of attention whenever possible, so suddenly having the full focus of both these men is pretty damn overwhelming.

Kirby likes both of them a lot, and at first they think that "Well, I would be happy no matter who I end up with. They figure they'd better just let Satan and Solomon bicker it out, and let one of them make the first move themselves.

This doesn't work.

Satan and Solomon are both very aware that Kirby returns their feelings, which means they're also aware that Kirby is unlikely to choose between the two of them for fear of hurting the other with rejection. They had been okay with that so far, more concerned with fighting each other for the "right" to a relationship, but they both eventually realised that if they didn't do something different, eventually one of them would probably just kill the other.

(Or, more likely, Kirby would get sick of their endless rivalry and give up on them, leaving them both behind)

The "solution" that Satan and Solomon eventually logic themselves into, after things have been continuing to escalate without any foreseeable resolution, is to just do it the demon way.

"As the saying goes, when in the Devildom, do as the devils do" is how Solomon explained it. When Kirby didn't understand what he meant, Satan espouses that "it's not entirely uncommon for more than one demon to be courting a potential mate at the same time. If it's agreeable to you, we'd both like to court you until you decide on a partner between the two of us"

"You mean. Date both of you. At the same time? Like, sharing?"

"Yes, we determined that was the fairest way"

"Until you make a decision on who you'd like to have as a partner"

Kirby obviously thought that this sounded like a disaster waiting to happen. "And what if I don't make a decision?"

"Don't worry, you will" Satan had already assured himself of his future victory.

"And no hard feelings when they choose me, right Satan?" Solomon was probably even more confident than his rival.

"Sure. Fine. Just remember that you guys chose this"

Art by @shootingstarrfish

[rainykthebroken]

As promised, here are some of the headcanons I use in "A Wonderful Attraction" (AO3):

Magolor:

-Even though he wasn't born on Halcandra, he considers it his home planet because it made the person he is. That's why I keep saying he is Halcadran in the fanfic. He doesn't speak about his real home.

-Kirby and all his friends have forgiven him (even Meta Knight), but he's still trying to prove his trustworthiness.

-After the Lor found him in the Kirby Clash dimension, he agreed to follow her therapy program, which lasted several months. He still have huge emotional issues that he cover up with his eccentric persona.

-He has a room in the Starcutter where he stores all the artifacts he has found on his adventures. He also collects objects from other dimensions, such as books, films and video games.

-Magolor hides a tail and whiskers because of the way some people reacted when he first explored the galaxy with the Lor. Some people didn't take him seriously with his kitten-like appearance.

-Magolor has a lot of scars that he hides.

Taranza:

-When Joronia was alive, he managed the feat of both being shy and pretentious.

-Joronia's death and his guilt kept him withdrawn and he became a bubble of anxiety. But today, he's regained a little more self-confidence.

-He comes from a noble family. He has an extremely complicated relationship with his parents (I intend to explore this aspect in a fanfic).

-While pursuing his passion as a gardener, he is also a diplomat for the kingdom of Floralia. Magolor has taken Taranza to other planets such as Ripple Star with the Lor, so that he can expand the kingdom's relations. What a good friend~

-At the time of the fanfic, Taranza has long since accepted that he can never bring Joronia back to life. The problem now is to overcome the impression of infidelity when he falls in love again.

Marx:

-As obnoxious and childlike as ever.

-He's Magolor's best friend and knows many of the secrets he keeps from others.

-Although Marx is impulsive and slightly idiotic, he manages in a disturbing way to feel other people's emotions with ease.

-While Marx can sometimes be a jerk, he's extremely protective of his friends and tends to be uncharacteristically serious when it comes to a friend's trauma.

-He'll never admit out loud that he cares about his friends.

Susie:

-Since her father's death, she's taken over the company and done a complete 180°.

-Susie has empathy problems but tries her best to socialize.

-She's Taranza's confidante and best friend because they understand each other through grief.

-Although she is friends with Magolor, they maintain a kind of rivalry over who is the best mechanic.

-Susie and Marx don't get along at all, so it's a miracle they put their differences aside to put Magolor and Taranza together.

-She's very close to the Mage sisters, especially Zan.

Lor Starcutter:

-She is Magolor's mother figure mentor. She is extremely protective of him.

-She blames herself for being mute for so long, and thinks she could have avoided the whole Master Crown incident if she'd been a better mother.

-Before the Master Crown incident, she only communicated with him small caring gesture that doesn't necessarily needed to vocalize. After his redemption, she used text to communicated before finally undoing thousand of years of mutism during the Void Termina crisis to say that she loved him and was proud of who he had chose to become.

-The Starcutter's interior is basically a dimension unto itself.

-One of her strange hobbies is watching telenovelas and other TV movies, which she justifies by saying that she studies organic beings.

I can't delve deeper without spoiling some of the fanfic.

Thank you for reading!

[nine-of-words]

Something Borrowed (Part One)

M Gargoyle x M Reader

STORY TAG || NEXT

Wordcount: 3486

Content Warnings: Discussion of a Breakup

I think this might be the closest thing to a romcom I've ever written, so that should inform what this one's going to be like.

You’re cursed to be alone.

You wake up, alone. You do your job, alone. You eat raw cookie dough in your pink silk pajamas while curled up in bed as you watch your programs, alone. Then you go to sleep, alone. 

Everything- alone.

You’ve nearly gotten used to it. Accepted it. Welcomed it, even.

It's certainly easier to not have to constantly worry about another person's feelings or needs.

Some people are just meant to be alone. 

Though, you never imagined you’d be one of those people…

You let out a long, dreary sigh as you pick up another glob of buttercream frosting on your offset spatula and smear it in a practiced movement against the side of the cake on the counter in front of you.

…It’s really not all that bad, you reason as a small smile finds its way onto your face.

There’s always cake.

Today is more of the same. Another slow-paced and quiet Tuesday morning like any other for your modest, but cozy little bake shop.

…Or at least it was.

The bell above the door jingles sharply, announcing a customer. You look up from the frosting job you’re working on, chasing the sullen quality from your person.

“Good moooorning!” A small, perky, business-casual clad faun says in a chipper sing-song, shattering the peace of the empty shop by calling out to you before you even have a chance to put on your customer service face and greet them. They quickly make their way over to the counter, their hooves clicking on the tile. They produce a lanyard-bound ID from their vest pocket and present it to you. “I’m an investigator with the mana bureau.”

The small picture does indeed show the person before you, clearly trying to hold back a smile for a neutral, bureaucratic photo.

Kirkja Papadakis-Kierkegaard, 

3rd level Mage-Investigator, 

Certified Cursebreaker.

“Oh- Um, Hello. What can I do for you, Investigator…” You tilt your head at their ID, trying to reason out how to pronounce their last name without slaughtering it.

“Just call me Kirby! Everyone does!” They laugh, and after they give a cursory glance around the shop to ensure there’s no other customers, they continue; “I have some things I’d like to chat with you about! Is now a good time?”

“Sure, it's as good a time as any.” You smile wryly and motion to the bakery case. The first thing you learned growing up in your small, rural village's only bakery is that baked goods are an excellent ice breaker for nearly any social situation. “…Can I get you anything? Complimentary, of course.”

“Um. Yes???” Kirby basically scoffs, and you see the familiar glazed look in their eyes that you so often see in customers as they lean over the case. "That one." 

They point to a pastel pink-blue swirled crown of frosting with a puff of spun sugar nestled in the center. 

"Candy floss? Good choice. I'm testing this flavor out, so you'll have to let me know if you like it." You turn to grab a small plate from the rack behind you. "You can sit at the counter if you'd like."

"Don't mind if I do." Kirby lifts themselves up onto the bar stool with a grin.

After plating their cupcake and setting it in front of them, you pull up your own beat-up wooden stool you keep behind the counter and take a seat across from them. There’s no customers to assist right now and you don’t have any tastings scheduled until later this afternoon, so you might as well make yourself comfortable. You can always do the tasks you had planned later- one of the perks of being your own boss, you suppose.

“So. I’m here about a string of mishaps of magical origin that have happened across several weddings in the area.” Kirby starts, peeling off the paper and happily taking a large bite out of their cupcake. “Mmph- They all involved the wedding cake. As it would happen, my investigation so far turned up the only thing the couples involved all had in common was that they had gotten their wedding cakes from you.”

"Me…?” You say incredulously. “What could’ve happened?"

"Cakes exploded." Kirby says as elegantly as possible through a mouthful of cake and frosting.

“They exploded…?” You say, aghast, looking directly at the potential explosive in their hand. “And you’re sitting here eating one?!”

“Don’t worry about it! We’re not at a wedding.” Kirby says with a little chuckle, but it reassures you little. “Plus, I’d know if this bad boy was going to magically explode, for sure.”

“Oh no, that’s…” You cover your mouth with your hand as the information sinks in. It didn’t occur to you that a curse was something that could spread. You'd hate to think that you were passing on this misfortune to your customers, even the more difficult ones. “You don’t think… Are curses actually contagious? I’d feel terrible…”

"Sometimes. It’s complicated. Do you mind if I do a quick reading?”

“Ah, no. Go… right ahead?”

You’re not exactly sure what a magical audit entails. Being a numan, magic is a force that generally doesn’t directly touch your life often, outside of being in periphery to it on a daily basis.

“Great.” They put down the cupcake.

Kirby closes their eyes and stays quiet and still, which despite you not knowing them very long at all, seems to be starkly at odds with their usual demeanor. The only movement they carry out is bringing their hand up to hold the bolo tie at their neck.

You can swear that you feel a small thrum in the air - but knowing you have no capability for feeling energy magic yourself, you think you may just be imagining it.

And then, after a few more moments of slightly awkward silence; it’s over, just like that. All in all, it’s a rather underwhelming affair.

"Wowie, it's a shame, this shop is so cute but the vibes are waaaaay off! Magically speaking, that is. The decor is immaculate.” They finish fiddling with their bolo tie and open their eyes, a neon cyan hued glow fading from their irises. “I could tell from the moment I walked in something was funky, but this is just… Oof."

“That doesn’t sound like particularly good news.”

“It could be worse! But you have… hmmm, how to put this without it sounding scary…” They say as they pick their treat back up in one hand, and wiggle their finger at your general person with the other. "You’ve got a big glob of nasty energy hanging out all over you. Centered in your chest area.”

“Ah, that’d probably be because I’m cursed.” You say, matter-of-fact.

"That’s sure what it looks like! ” He says in a surprisingly bubbly tone, despite the worrying subject matter. “Don’t worry. Curses are my speciality, so I’ve got you. We just have to get to the bottom of things, and I can help get rid of it!”

“That would be lovely.” You say sheepishly. “How can I help?”

“Why don't you tell me a little about how an average day goes here?" They pull out a pen and a notepad from their bag. You lace your fingers together on the counter in front of you, trying to resist the urge to chew your nails down from the nerves.

You recount out loud your day so far: You came down early, baked off some of your batters, and while they were cooling you started a fresh batch of your signature buttercream. Not too sweet, just right. You piped a batch of cupcakes to add to the case, double checked your pars for the day, and wrapped delicate little treat boxes with fancy little bows for display.

Nothing out of the ordinary.

"Hmm. That sounds very picturesque, but none of that particularly screams 'OOOH NOOO I'M CURSED!!!' to me." They fiddle with the pen between their fingers in thought. “Usually there’s more… overtly magical disturbing spooky things,  y’know. Blood seeping from the walls, unexplained patches of goo, disembodied cackling skulls… that sort of thing! Almost like a haunting.”

"No, nothing like that."

"Nothing at all? With this level of energy around here, I'm surprised you're not having constant poltergeist activity."

"Apologies. I'm afraid my life is a bit dull." 

“Oh, don’t feel like you have to apologize! If anything, it's nice to have a curveball every now and then. Any little thing you can tell me might help, even if it doesn’t seem important at first."

You wrack your brain, working your hands on the hem of your apron, trying to jog your memory.

"I suppose there could be some wee things. Sometimes things seem to get lost or moved to places I didn't put them. Or… when I'm closing the shop down for the night, I'll feel dread like I'm being watched, even though I know I'm alone… I chalked it up to being forgetful and sad."

"Hmm. Forgetful- sure, happens to everyone." They click the pen top on the counter rhythmically. "But what's there to be sad about?"

"Er…" You hesitate. Exactly how personal are you supposed to get here?

The last thing you want to do is pathetically dump your issues on a stranger that's forced to be here, just because you have no one else to talk to.

These days, you’re severely lacking in social support. You’ve lost all of your friends in the breakup, as if your ex had won custody of them. There’s always your family, and you call home often. But you can only say so much about how you’re feeling to them- your parents are getting up there in age, and you don’t want them to worry too much about you. Your sister may have single-handedly kept you sane during the worst of it, but you don’t want her to bear the full emotional burden. It doesn’t help that every single phone call has a segment asking when you’re moving back, either…

"I’m not here to judge, so tell me everything. Even if you’ve committed a crime! That’s not my jurisdiction, so I could care less,” He giggles brightly. “Unless your victim cursed you from beyond the grave - then maybe it is? If that's the case I’d have to make a few phone calls to find out.”

You let out a huff of a laugh. Their energy is infectious, but you’re immediately faced with a huge obstacle.

…Where do you even start?

How can you condense nearly a full year of heartbreak into a mere minutes-long explanation?

Somehow, you find your words.

“Everything was fine until I opened that letter,” You finally start. "After that, my entire life fell apart."

"Ah, now that sounds like something I can work with!" The faun starts hastily jotting down notes as you speak. "Do you know the sender? Do you still have the letter? What did it say?"

"No, I don't know the sender- and probably, but I’ll need to look through storage-" You begin fielding his rapidfire questions one at a time. "But to paraphrase: everyone who had a hand in their failed marriage would suffer like they did- that any love I had or will have from now on will wither before blooming.”

"Yikes. Sure sounds like a disgruntled ex-client would be the first place to look.”

“I… didn’t realize it would pass on to the wedding cakes I make…" You say, still absolutely gutted at the thought. “I hate to think something I made ruined someone’s wedding…”

“Hey, technically we don’t know if that's the case yet! It could all be a coincidence. But I'm guessing something happened to support the letter’s claim?"

"Yes." You clear your throat, trying to dislodge the sudden frog stuck there. "The day after I received the letter my… well. My ex-fiance left me with no warning."

"Oh no, I'm so sorry to hear that. Had you been together long?" 

"Eight years. He was my first boyfriend after I moved here. It was so sudden… things were normal- they were perfect. Or so I thought... Then just like that… He was gone. And so were all of our plans… I had to cancel everything. No refunds of course, but it wasn't even losing all the gold that hurt. It was hellish." You let out a shuddering sigh, realizing you're going off on a tangent. "Sorry, I probably shouldn't be making this interview into a therapy session…?"

"You go right ahead and spill as much as you need. I love tea."

You don’t need more encouragement than that to take the rare opportunity to vent. You find you continue to blab long after Kirby has finished their cupcake, them listening along attentively and responding with support or disgust where appropriate. They’re listening so intently, you’re not in a hurry to stop yourself.

"...Then all of our friends sided with him. Or at least it felt that way, since they all seemed to fall off right after…”

"Oh, that is so uncalled for!” Their ears flick in shared indignance before a grin finds its way back on to their face. “Don't worry, you'll see enough of me during this investigation, I'll be your new bestie by time we're done here. Especially if there’s cake like this is involved, haha-"

You laugh and nod, despite being skeptical of that claim. You don’t really think you even remember what it feels like to have a mutually supportive friendship at this point, so while it would be nice… you’re not holding your breath.

With that, Kirby tells you that they’ll be back the next day to start combing through your past client files, reassuring you when you question if it’s safe to keep selling cakes in the meantime. Then, like that, they’re off. And just in time, too, as it’s just about the time that customers tend to start turning up, and you still have a cake to finish frosting.

Hours later, you're finishing tidying up the back for the night. The colors of the end of sunset are staining the back window already.

It's been a long, eventful, emotionally draining day. You certainly didn't expect to bare your deeply personal relationship trauma to a stranger today. Kirby was very kind about everything, but still…Then, you got hit by an unexpected rush, on top of that.

Though, you have to admit that it was nice, not only having some validation of your curse being a real thing that is affecting your life, but being given a small glimmer of hope that it may be curable.

Usually you would throw yourself into work and relish not having to think about what happened to you at all. So, while having to talk about it felt a bit like picking at the open wound- in a way, you feel a tiny bit lighter having spoken to someone about it, even if you know that feeling won’t last.

After all, you can already start to feel the heavy sense of loss settling back in now that you’re alone again, a constant weight on your chest.

You're more than ready to go upstairs, relax and turn your brain off for the evening. Perhaps watch a program with people even more woefully unlucky in love than you are. Even if you’re doing it by yourself…

You glance at the clock.

Just six minutes until close…

And of course, that's when you hear the telltale jingle of a waiting order go off.

You heave a sigh. Then you stand up straight and wipe your floured hands on your apron, putting a customer service smile on, despite the fatigue. 

Walking out into the front of house, you see the culprit is already physically present. 

A gargoyle man dressed in a fine suit stands near the self-ordering kiosk, checking the watch on his wrist. The pink silk paisley of his tie charmingly matches the blush sheen of the quartz horns protruding from the tawny stoneskin of his forehead.

Immaculate grooming. Good posture. Excellent sense of style. 

Your love life may be an absolute trainwreck, but you’re relieved you can still recognize a handsome man when you see one, apparently.

"Hello there," You greet the well-dressed man in your shop, trying to keep voice sounding smooth and unfazed. "It'll only be a moment and I'll have your order together.”

“Hey, good evening. Take your time.”

A dazzling smile. And a nice voice too. 

You’re slightly weak in the knees.

You’re suffering as you meticulously pick his order out of the case, trying to convince yourself that you’d be this picky and only selecting the nicest looking cupcakes for any customer, not just the ones you find particularly attractive.

"Here you are, Carlyle, " You read his name off the screen and deftly seal up the bottom of the rosy pink paper box with a strip of tape before setting it back on the counter. "Can I get you anything else?"

"No, nothing more for me. Then again-" He squints at the chalkboard above you, and seemingly not finding the information he's seeking, adds: "Do you not serve coffee here…?"

"Ah, I'm afraid not. This is a cake shop, not really much of a cafe.”

“Too bad. It’s likely going to be an all-nighter, so I thought I’d get a pick-me-up beforehand.”

“Well- are you in a hurry?" You have a wild idea, and speak before thinking twice.

"I could not be." A small smirk plays on his lips, and his deep brown eyes glint with curiosity piqued. "It depends on the reason."

"Alright, you sit tight for a moment, will you? I'll be right back."

You duck into the back and up the stairs to your loft flat, and in a whirlwind prepare a regular cup of coffee in your single-serving machine. You blaze through the motions, muscle memory from going through your morning routine in a half-asleep haze shining through. You grab whatever mug is closest at hand and stare down the machine while it whirs and grinds, willing the two minutes to pass faster.

You hustle back down the stairs, pausing at the bottom landing to take a deep breath before emerging into the shopfront once more.

"Hope you don't mind storebrand," You lilt and slide the steaming mug over the counter to him, handle pointing towards him. "Be careful please, it's quite hot."

"Ah, it smells good." You cringe as he immediately takes a long sip from the still surely boiling hot beverage, before remembering a gargoyle's temperature tolerance is much different than your own. "I really appreciate it. However…" 

You tilt your head slightly, waiting for Carlyle to finish voicing his concern.

"Is your partner going to be okay with me using this mug?"

"My- wha- huh?" You babble in confusion before realizing that he's turned the mug's design to face you to illustrate his point.

WORLD'S BEST BOYFRIEND, the well-loved mug reads, the hand-glazed font bordered by multiple pink hearts.

Trevor made you that mug years ago, and you can’t bring yourself to throw it out. It used to be your favorite… And even now, after everything, it's still apparently the one you subconsciously reach for.

Your hand finds your face in utter mortification. You barely muster the courage to peek through the crack in your fingers.

"Oh. Oh, gosh. I- That’s-" You stumble over your words further, still flustered when you lower your hand. Then, you settle on keeping it simple instead of going into your own personal tragedy too deeply. "No, I'm single."

"Hmm." Carlyle seems to at least have the sense of mercy to not pry further. 

"W-Would you like cream or sugar?" You swiftly and blatantly change the subject. You can feel that your cheeks and ears are burning up. "Those I definitely have down here…"

"No, I prefer it this way. This is going to sound odd, all things considered, but I'm actually not a fan of sweets."

"Oh? But-" You pointedly glance at the box of cupcakes you just packed.

"I know, I know. It's for the rest of the team." He shrugs, shoving his free hand in his pocket and swirling the coffee in the mug like he's a sommelier. "It's been a difficult case, so I thought everyone could use a treat, then I somehow got roped into pick-up duty as well."

"I see…very kind of you. But why here, then?"

"The ladies are all crazy about this place." He grins. "Though now, I see why. Excellent service."

You can't help but smile at the praise. Thank heavens for Welp.

"So, what more do I owe you for this?" He gestures with the nearly empty mug.

"Oh, nothing! Consider it complimentary." You lean on the counter playfully. "But maybe you could come back sometime? I love a good challenge- and I bet I could find something sweet that you do like."

"Hahah- challenge accepted, then."

>> ✨ MASTERLIST >> ☕ KO-FI

[kirby-the-gorb]

reply roundup!

man apparently these are still hard even when I'm not Literally Dying anymore :v

the sad sale went great, thank you for all the support everyone <3 I bought shelves and makeup and paper star papers and stickers and a new blanket, plus it's helping cover my allowance until my wife starts getting paid. I am already thinking I might do another sale in november just for fun lol

my wife has started orientation at her program and she's having a great time, our partner and I are gonna go down to visit her in a couple weeks :) I also finished rearranging all my furniture now that her furniture isn't here and it only made me terribly ill once!

I am really enjoying everyone singing along on [live and learm], I love enthusiasm <3

on [stars] @korattata said: HEY THATS WHAT I'VE BEEN DOING ALL DAY!!!!! i just started learning last night! its a nice break at work to stop looking at the computer screen. they all still look a bit wonky and i think one of the sheets of paper is too thick but i'm just using paper i got from the supply closet and cut with the paper cutter lol

aw that's so cool! the ones that are like actually packaged for making paper stars are usually a bit thinner than printer paper, like other origami paper, but that also means they tear a lot more easily in the first step if you're not careful, so it's always a tradeoff. what a fun coincidence :>

on [hallway] @thesilentpotato said: the first thing i thought of was the "da dee la da dee la da" krabby patty zoom in scene from spongebob

lol I hadn't thought of that until you said it but you're so right (she is referencing [this scene] from the krusty krab training video for anyone unfamiliar)

(side note thank you to folks who put pronouns in easily findable places so I can refer to you correctly even if I don't know you <3 )

on [birthday] @joekingv1 said: *asks baby what gifts they received and if they would like to read/watch Komi Can't Communicate*

I never really got into komi because one of the side characters really squicks me out, but I have a friend that really loves it, so maybe they've watched it with her! I think they probably got to go somewhere fun for their birthday like a theme park or a zoo, and get a souvenir plush while they were there -u-

on [sheep] @ceylonsilvergirl [added] a different line for kirby, which I still think about regularly lol

on [pills] @minty-spice said: op i hope your health improves and your empire of pills eventually shrinks

thank you <3 honestly I'd be happy with just the first one, I don't mind all the pills so much as long as they're actually helping.

on [crackers] @amatsuki said: made a bunch of cold noodles today with cucumber carrot chicken & sesame peanut soy sauce. the only actual cooking i had to do was boil water and steam chicken

oh hell yeah cold noodles are a fantastic example of a basic food to go feral over. now I want noodles too.........

on [thinking] @adrawrable said: hope you're cozy op

not right now as I type this because it is Computer Work Time, but in general I am So Cozy these days, I have a whole queen bed to myself so it's full of big stuffed animals and fluffy blankets :) (tbh even once my wife moves back here we may just all have individual beds we all seem very comfy this way lol)

on [slam] @jeaniechibi said: we'll be right back ➡️ shshgdtsudtdidh why is every bit of art with a blurr effect so damn funny 🤣

it truly is, I love a thoughtfully applied motion blur (or perspective blur can be funny too) (altho tbh I don't use the perspective blur tool for those I just use separate layers and gaussian blur) (for anyone unfamiliar this is a reference to the eric andre show meme)

on [beehive] @galacticnova3 said: me @ wasp nests minus the frowning, little fellas doing their little fella activities. sometimes they squabble. the thinking man’s reality tv drama

true, true, gotta love little fella activities. personally I feel better observing from a safe distance, but we had a lot of wasps around my childhood home and I didn't really know how to get friendlier than not actively making them mad lol

anonymous asked: That profile is amazing

for some reason I don't feel like I understand, but thank you!

on [sale] @milkymoon-ramblings said: gahh why do so many people have so many cool probducts, the queers are tempting me with their cool swag. however I need to save money for my own cool swag (digital art)

I just love the phrase "the queers are tempting me with their cool swag", so relatable lol (also no worries to anyone who couldn't or didn't want to buy anything, it's not like I needed it to pay bills I just wanted treats :v )

on [solstice] @jaune-chat said: Definitely, the sun can fuck right off. I break into a rash if I get too much sun, and I can't walk outside without full body coverage to some degree or be itching for WEEKS! In order of preference, is fall, winter, spring, summer.

oof yeah my mom gets a bad rash from sun exposure too! I'm fortunate to not have that specific symptom, but dang it seems so inconvenient, especially if you're also sensitive to heat so being covered up puts you at additional risk. personally I rate winter a little higher than fall but otherwise yeah total agreement lol

on [rollerskates] @nexus-nebulae said: @ prev tags i used to daydream constantly about being able to roller skate everywhere because i would constantly think 'rolling would be way easier than dragging my feet everywhere rn' and it took me two months of constantly thinking about that before i realised OH i need a ROLLATOR that would help (<- i am not smart) i haven't actually tried roller skating bc i don't own skates but i have used a skateboard briefly and that also feels better than walking. i wonder.... if the roller skating rink nearby would allow me to use a rollator in the rink with skates on........ probably not lmao

honestly it takes so much to actually realize like "oh a mobility aid might help with this" which is like, a bad thing, but we're just gonna focus on the funny part for now happy disability pride month :v and tbh I think maybe they might let you do it??? cuz like at ice skating rinks they usually have those little penguins or just straight up plastic lawn chairs for people to support themselves on, so I don't think it would be that crazy to go out on the rollarink with a rollator? but also that's just me and I do not run the place or get paid minimum wage to keep people from breaking the place sooo lol

[mrdrhenwardhykle]

POM POM: KILLER OF MASCOT GAMES VOL.2 #1

Pom Pom vs Phoenix Wright

Previous Next

Previous Volume

"Ms. Pom, you are now admitting to the claims against you about taking down 12 different mascots, is that correct?" "Incorrect..." "HOLD IT!-Ms.Pom, didn't you just-" "Make that 13. Not 12." "….! 13?… By my records there's no documentation of similar scenes comparable to your work. This is vital information to the trial so your punishment is justified. Who is #13, Ms.Pom?" "…" "Ms. Pom. Who is #13?!?!?!…" "…" "… M-Ms. Pom! Who… Who is it!?…"

":)"

"… ……. -Who is it?…."

---

Stone's documentation of the case: 6:00, end of session: Ms.Pom entered the court with a seemingly genuine remorseful front. She began alongside her attorney, Mr.Edgeworth, pleading not guilty. The suspect began her case with the same remorseful attitude-reminding most of a scared child. By past personal experiences and multiple attempts to interrogate the suspect, she seems to genuinely believe this. With Mr.Phoenix's questioning, however, the two have seemed to trade confidence levels, as Ms.Pom has seemed to take notice that the questioning attorney was a game protagonist, himself. However, this trade of confidence has caused her to admit the murders of Mario Mario, Conker T. Squirrel, Bubsy Bobcat, Kirby, Taizo Hori, Tyrone Tasmanian Tiger, Olgilvie Maurice Hedgehog, Banjo Bear, Kazooie, Bug-exclamation point... Link-...Link? And Crash Bandicoot... *ahem* Bunch of circus freaks *cough* Ms.Pom has been sentenced to death row for her transactions. Her defendant, Mr.Edgeworth, only seems to be distracted by a missing pen. 7:30, update 2: The building is currently on lockdown. No one is permitted to leave the premise until the whereabouts of Ms.Pom and Mr.Wright are verified.

Character descriptions:

Pom Pom:

Pom Pom is a virus/glitch formed by the scrapped side-scrolling arcade game from the early 90's “Pom-Pom Panic”. Pom Pom (the main character of Pom Pom Panic) for whatever reason gained sentience halfway during the game’s development. The game was cancelled halfway because the publishing company thought it was too bizarre of a concept and mascot character to gain interest. Pom Pom heard of the news and took it way too personally, as she literally cannot fathom why someone would think she’s ‘bizarre’-even to the point of getting ‘axed’. Prompted by the ‘poor judgement’ Pom Pom went rouge-breaking from her game to ‘axe’ any ‘approved’ game mascots/characters she thought could count as ‘bizarre’ like her.

Power Officer Stone:

Stone is the amalgamation of a couple things, exactly what people aren't sure of, but it's safely assumed that he's a mix between scrapped virtual PSA mascots, an antivirus/piracy program, and the anti drug campaigns they used to put in arcade games. Stone is the embodiment of anti piracy screens and uses all of his time to prevent virtual crimes and viruses. He also can duplicate himself and multitask. However, because of his frustrations against the fact that he can't really punish pirates in real life, he often bounces the punishment to the closest playable character. For that, he's infamous amongst most virtual realms.

[writingfortheheart]

Counting to 30: Marcianna 2

Marcianna stood in front of the bathroom mirror, a pair of pins held in her mouth as she attempted to tie her hair up into a bun. "I think I..." she grabbed one of the pins and threaded it carefully through her hair. It never got any easier for her, even though she had done it a million times or more. Competition hair styles were so much worse than a simple bun, but at least she had help with those.

She slipped the second pin into her hair to secure it in place, then stopped to admire herself in the mirror. Plain black leotard, white tights, a lime green wrap draped over her shoulders. She looked the part, could she be the part? She gently slapped her cheeks to get a bit of color in them. Waste of makeup if she's not on stage, that's what every coach told her, just slap a bit of rouge into them.

A few springy steps into the hallway, Marcianna finally felt good. She slipped her polyester booties on over top of the leather ballet slippers she was already wearing. She almost wanted to lie down in her new bed, she felt cozy. There would be time for that later. Right now she had an appointment with the doctor before her first class. She grabbed her keycard and stuffed it into her bootie, folded up her requisition form, and headed out the door.

There were at least four other girls before Marcianna. None younger than 18, all sitting in the hallway outside Dr. Kirby's office, all dressed to go to their next class. Marcianna plopped herself down beside a thin, pale girl. She had sad eyes, or maybe it was just how thin she was, her eyes were sunken. She looked to be out of breath, and she was shaking a blue inhaler, almost out of habit it seemed like. After a good shake she raised the inhaler to her lips and took a puff.

A name got called and one of the girls stood up and went into the office. Marcianna looked over at the pale girl. "Are you doing okay?". The pale girl smiled. "Yeah, just a minor asthma attack. No big deal. I was coming here for my daily albuterol anyway, go figure".

"A ballerina with asthma. I guess it happens no matter who you are..." Marcianna wanted to laugh at the idea, but she had used an inhaler for a small part of her life. "They taste like crap, right?"

The pale girl started to chuckle. "Yeah, it depends on how fast you inhale".

"How serious is it?"

"Not too bad. I've only been hospitalized twice. Dr. Kirby keeps me in line now".

Another name is called, and the second girl gets up and goes into the office as the first girl leaves. "How long have you been at this academy?", Marcianna asked. The girl sat back and searched her thoughts. "3 years, I'm on a 5 year program. I have the option to do another three years after that, or I can join a ballet company, or I can just teach."

"Here?"

"Maybe, or I could start a dance studio of my own".

"That sounds like it would be lovely", Marcianna had dreams of teaching, as well, but not right away. She wanted to join one of the major dance companies, perform one of the big shows. "I have my sights set high..." she kind of muttered to herself.

The pale girl chuckled again, this one turning into a cough, then a wheeze as she got her breath back. "We all do. That's why we're here", she shook the inhaler again, put it between her lips, and took another puff.

The second girl exited the office door and Dr. Kirby poked his head out. "Trina?" he said. "That's me", said the pale girl. "Marcianna, you come in as well", said Dr. Kirby, "I won't be long with Trina here".

Marcianna stood up and followed Trina inside.

TO BE CONTINUED...

[voiddemon]

can i ask what is kinyarn 😭

I think it's about time I explained Kin-Yarn to the new generation instead of jokingly brushing it off and making people do their own research.

Please note I will be spelling Kin-Yarn with the hyphen, as god (me) intended. Kinyarn is still hella valid and the more commonly used name. I also wont be going into my interpretations too much since it's complicated and long i do not actually ship it i promise.

Kin-Yarn is the greatest Kirby ship of all time. It's the ship between Yin-Yarn from Kirby's Epic Yarn, and Kine the fish from hell. There isn't anything canon for it, these characters have never and will never interact in HAL's eyes. However we, the fans, know better.

After reading my thesis I'd strongly recommend checking out all of the content the long dead kin-yarn fandom has to offer. Most of it is like, really old, since those around for Kin-Yarn's inception have either left tumblr, moved onto new and cooler fandoms, or don't think it's that funny anymore. (It isn't because it's a fandom in-joke from two years ago.) Thankfully there are many great relics of the past, of the days when new Kin-Yarn content showed up every like five posts on your dash. AO3 has most of the Kin-Yarn fanfiction that's been written, but some of it is hidden away within blog archives and dusty links to google docs. Kin-Yarn videos also exist, including some (two) AMVs and the classic Kin-Yarn ASMR made by yours truly. The Kin-yarn/Kinyarn tag on tumblr.com also has a lot of posts so just go through that.

I. HUMBLE BEGINNINGS

Kin-Yarn was made at some point in October 2020. Out there on the internet there is a site called FanficMaker. It's a pretty basic website. I don't know exactly how the creators found the material to make this, but there is a okay-ish sized pool of sets.

These sets are fairly generic stories, with the program plugging in the names of characters you input into specific slots. There's a surprising amount of variation between these sets, but after you play with the site too long you start seeing the same ones over and over.

So Voiddemon a few years ago found this website, and decided to make some fanfiction and upload it to tumblr.com. On one occasion, the website generated the sentence "It was Yin-Yarns gay wedding party..." It didn't say who he was marrying, but I found it funny and uploaded it to tumblr.com. On a separate day, in a separate prompt, I put Kine in and it gave me a similar result. "Meanwhile, Susies mind was wondered back to the past. It was Kines gay wedding party..." I also found this funny because. Kine. And uploaded it to tumblr.com.

Here are the two screenshots together <3

I will now introduce Ninikins (Who has since changed their username and moved on from the Kirby fandom), who suggested that the two of them were getting married to each other. Everyone in my circle online at the time found the idea hilarious because.

From here everyone went crazy and just started. Kin-yarning all over the place.

II. Fan Interpretations

Memetaknight, creator of the greatest Kin-yarn fanfiction of all time Yiracle (It's my favorite :shrug:) created a Kin-Yarn Essay. Today it is a great time capsule that brings us into the culture around Kin-yarn in the past. It's just over two years old now so happy birthday Kin-Yarn essay. It delves into the two primary interpretations around the ship. I'll just quote the most important bits of it since I'm lazy you can go check my sources ok.

"A common Kin-Yarn characterization is to ship either both brothers with Kine (as a V shape relationship), or just one of the brothers with Kine... This interpretation has many specific tropes... but it has one extremely interesting idea that is unique to it. In the spirit of Kirby’s Epic Yarn’s final battle... it has been theorized that something similar could apply to Kin-Yarn, in which the brothers would catfish Kine .. Kine, either on purpose or on accident."

"The other interpretation sees the yarn body previously mentioned as a third entity... which is referred as Yin-Yarn separate from the needle brothers. This characterization idea arises from the fact Yin-Yarn is referred as a singular character"

There is a third interpretation that stems from the two of these, which is that both the Yarn Body or puppet is in love with Kine and so is at least one of the knitting needles.

Often in Kin-Yarn works, it is unclear which one of these the creator interprets the ship as, since artwork and fics include all three characters (The puppet and the two needles) with no clear distinction between them. A distinction being drawn is more commonly in artwork, due to the nature of the medium.

III. Love and Marriage

For the most part, Kin-Yarn is portrayed as a perfect relationship. With Kine and Yin-Yarn being madly in love. The nature of one being a hero and another being a villain is not often explored, but when it is explored the most common interpretation is Kine accepts Yin-Yarn despite his past wrongdoings. Oftentimes Yin-Yarn will reform and become good for Kine.

they also have sex

III A. Who are Prince Fluff's Parents?

Prince Fluff (Also from Kirby's Epic Yarn) has no stated or seen parents within the series. Originally KEY was called "Keito no Fluff", and featured Prince Fluff himself as the protagonist. He was supposed to be searching for his mother, but this was removed from KEY so he has. No parents.

A semi-common headcanon within the Kirby fandom is that Prince Fluff was created by Yin-Yarn, which is what originally spawned this interpretation. A few perceptive Kin-Yarnians noticed that Kine and Prince Fluff have the same exact color scheme. Like it's kind of uncanny actually Kine is just a little desaturated.

This caused the creation of the Yamily Tree, an. absurdly large family tree but it's kinda bloated and not that funny anymore. Here's the condensed version

Usually Prince Fluff is not actually biologically related to Kine. Since that has horrifying implications. Instead it implies that after Kine and Yin-Yarn are married, they adopt Prince Fluff (Which he usually isn't happy with).

III B. KINE'S DIVORCES

Ok so Kine Kirby is married to Mine canonically. However we haven't seen her in a very long time, and in Kirby Clash Kine is sleeping on a bench. Leading to the idea that he and Mine got a divorce. This is accepted by everyone who ships Kin-Yarn because Kine cheating on his wife isn't a laughing matter, but Kine leaving his wife for Yin-Yarn is. (Usually the interpretation is Mine leaving Kine)

Even though Kin-Yarn is interpreted as perfect most times, other interpretations are that after they get married the relationship becomes volatile. At the core the two still love each other, but due to one reason or another they've grown apart. This is best shown in the Kin-Yarn Fanfiction named after the ships national anthem, "The One That Got Away" on AO3 by HeavyLobster77.

This is very popular both for the drama and because it's very funny.

IV. Historical Kin-Yarn Events & Holidays

-The Great Kin-Yarn Porn Scare of 1969 Someone uploaded an explicit Kin-Yarn fic on AO3 tagged as explicit with very SUS tags. It wasn't real though and the fic is just among us.

-Kin-Yarn Discord There's a Kin-Yarn discord out there that's dead as hellll and I'm. Not sharing a link good luck finding it

-Kin-Yarn WORLD TOUR I blazed a Kin-Yarn post when tumblr Blaze first came out. Spending real money to force people to look upon Kin-Yarn was a powerful move.

-Feared Anon creating the best AUs of all time Kinederella (Technically theres no real au just funny images)

-Kin-Yarn Blog Wars ok i cannot find many of the blogs but for a bit everyone made blogs dedicated to loving or hating kin-yarn. Also KinYarn-Archives was created at some point around this time I think.

-Kin-Yarn BANNED from the Shipping Wiki Tumblr user Kaissauce tried to create a page on the shipping Wikipedia, but it was deleted by the mods lmao. Here's what the page originally looked like.

-Urban Dictionary somehow it got on fucking urban dictionary. this was my doing but it should never have been allowed to happen.

-Kin-Yarn: The Movie Released on July 29th 2021

no comment needed we've all seen it

-Kin-Yarn Day Kin-Yarn day is a national holiday beloved and celebrated by all, on February 14th. No other holiday is celebrated that day <3

V. Conclusion

idk how to end this thing. love wins and it shouldn't. do your own research

[nokingsonlyfooles]

"At Some Point the Words Become Empty"

I am glad the moderates are finally getting on board. The above quote is from one of them. I am horrified by the details.

I am fistfighting my autism right now, trying to understand why these "normal" people are doing a negotiation with no terms for either side. This is the official statement on what the US wants, and what it will do if it doesn't happen:

For example, Kirby sidestepped the question of whether the U.S. would halt weapons transfers. He simply said the U.S. will adjust its policies, based on what Israel does next.

"What we want to see are some real changes on the Israeli side. And if we don't see changes from their side, there'll have to be changes from our side," he said.  "But I won't preview what that could look like."

I... You are not my passive-aggressive mom with the borderline personality disorder trying to make me guess what I did wrong. You're in international politics and lives are at stake here. People need you to stop killing them! Opening the aid routes is not the end, it is only a potential means, and can easily be thwarted. The US government demanded more accountability than this to let me teach preschool. EVERY activity had to have a defined goal that you could assess - and that's a terrible way to teach, BTW, but you can't negotiate to save people without saying, "The goal here is to save people, and if the people are not saved, these are the consequences." What are we DOING?

And, ah, we're having the first AI-generated war while we do it. That's new. That's a thing now.

Israeli and British outlets this week reported on an artificial intelligence program, called Lavender, that the Israeli military has used to identify suspected Hamas operatives. 

The list purportedly grew to 37,000 at one point — but was eventually scaled back — and those people were targeted for bombing, even if they were surrounded by civilians.

Military personnel rarely questioned the AI before approving strikes, according to the reports.

I... Jesus. What? WHAT?? And the US has no comment on that. I have a comment! FUCKING STOP IT.

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

Matt Davies :: Strange love

* * * *

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

June 20, 2024

HEATHER COX RICHARDSON

JUN 21, 2024

Yesterday, in North Korea, Russian president Vladimir Putin and North Korean leader Kim Jong Un signed a security partnership between their countries that said they would “provide mutual assistance in case of aggression.” The two authoritarian leaders essentially resurrected a 1961 agreement between North Korea and the Soviet Union. According to the North Korean News Agency, the agreement also calls for the two countries to work together toward a “just and multipolar new world order.”

The United States and other western allies have been concerned for two years about the strengthening ties between the two countries. Putin needs weapons for the war in Ukraine, and in exchange, he might provide not only the economic support Kim Jong Un needs—North Korea is one of the poorest countries in Asia—but also transfer the technology North Korea needs to develop nuclear weapons. 

In the New York Times today, David Sanger pointed out that Putin and China’s leader Xi Jinping have partnered against the West in the past decade but have always agreed that North Korea must not be able to develop a nuclear weapon. Now, it appears, Putin is desperate enough for munitions that he is willing to provide the technologies North Korea needs to obtain one, along with missiles to deliver it. 

Meanwhile, Joby Warrick reported yesterday in the Washington Post that Iran has launched big expansions of two key nuclear enrichment plants, and leaders of the country’s nuclear program have begun to say they could build a nuclear weapon quickly if asked to do so. On X, security analyst Jon Wolfsthal recalled the 2015 Joint Comprehensive Plan of Action (JCPOA) that successfully limited Iran’s nuclear program and that Trump abandoned with vows to produce something better. Wolfsthal noted that diplomacy worked when “wars and ‘promises’ of a better deal could not.”   

Still, the meeting between Putin and Kim Jong Un is a sign of weakness, not strength. As The Telegraph pointed out, just ten years ago, Putin was welcomed to the G8 (now the G7) by the leaders of the richest countries in the world. “Now he has to go cap in hand to the pariah state of North Korea,” it pointed out. National Security Communications Advisor John Kirby added that “Russia is absolutely isolated on the world stage. They’ve been forced to rely, again, on countries like North Korea and Iran. Meanwhile…, Ukraine just organized a successful peace summit in Switzerland that had more than 100 countries and organizations sign up to support President Zelenskyy’s vision for a just peace.” 

In that same press conference, Kirby noted that the U.S. is delaying planned deliveries of foreign military sales to other countries, particularly of air defense missiles, sending the weapons to Ukraine instead. Also today, the U.S. emphasized that Ukraine can use American-supplied weapons to hit Russian forces in Russia. This is at least partly in response to recent reports that Russia is pulverizing Ukrainian front-line cities to force inhabitants to abandon them. Ukraine can slow the barrage by hitting the Russian airstrips from which the planes are coming.

China, which declared a “no limits” partnership with Russia in February 2022 just before Russia invaded Ukraine, kept distant from the new agreement between Russia and North Korea. Tong Zhao of the Carnegie Endowment for International Peace told Laurie Chen and Josh Smith of Reuters: "China is…careful not to create the perception of a de facto alliance among Beijing, Moscow, and Pyongyang, as this will not be helpful for China to maintain practical cooperation with key Western countries.”

Greg Torode, Gerry Doyle, and Laurie Chen published an exclusive story in Reuters tonight, reporting that in March, for the first time in five years, delegates from the U.S. and China resumed semi-official talks about nuclear arms, although official talks have stalled.

The office of president of the Republic of Korea (ROK), Yoon Suk Yeol, condemned the agreement. “It’s absurd that two parties with a history of launching wars of invasion—the Korean War and the war in Ukraine—are now vowing mutual military cooperation on the premise of a preemptive attack by the international community that will never happen,” it said. An ROK national security official added that the government, which has provided humanitarian aid to Ukraine, will now consider supplying weapons. This is no small threat: ROK is one of the world’s top ten arms exporters.  

In the U.S., John Kirby told reporters that while cooperation between Russia and North Korea is a concern, the U.S. has been strengthening and bolstering alliances and partnerships throughout the Indo-Pacific region since President Joe Biden took office. It brokered the historic trilateral agreement between the Republic of Korea, Japan, and the United States; launched AUKUS, the trilateral security partnership between Australia, the United Kingdom, and the U.S.; and expanded cooperation with the Philippines. 

On Tuesday, at a joint press conference with U.S. Secretary of State Antony J. Blinken in Washington, D.C., NATO Secretary General Jens Stoltenberg explained the cooperation between Russia and North Korea like this. “Russia’s war in Ukraine is…propped up by China, North Korea, and Iran,” he said. “They want to see the United States fail. They want to see NATO fail. If they succeed in Ukraine, it will make us more vulnerable and the world more dangerous. 

To that, The Bulwark today added journalist Anne Applebaum’s comments about the determination of those countries to disrupt liberal democracies. Dictators, she said, “are betting that Trump will be the person who destroys the United States, whether he makes it ungovernable, whether he assaults the institutions so that they no longer function, whether he creates so much division and chaos that the U.S. can’t have a foreign policy anymore. That’s what they want, and that’s what they’re hoping he will do.”

Trump himself is a more and more problematic candidate. This week, author Ramin Setoodeh, who has a new book coming out soon about Trump’s transformation from failed businessman to reality TV star on the way to the presidency, has told reporters that Trump has “severe memory issues” adding that “he couldn’t remember things, he couldn’t even remember me.”

Trump is supposed to participate in a debate with President Biden on June 27, and while Biden is preparing as candidates traditionally do, with policy reviews and practice, Trump’s team has been downplaying Trump’s need for preparation, saying that his rallies and interviews with friendly media are enough. 

With new polls showing Biden overtaking the lead in the presidential contest, right-wing media has been pushing so-called cheap fakes: videos that don’t use AI but misrepresent what happened by deceptively cutting the film or the shot. 

Social media has been flooded with images of Biden appearing to bend over for no apparent reason at a D-Day commemoration; the clip cuts off both the chair behind him and that everyone else was sitting down, too. Another, from the recent G7 summit, appears to show the president wandering away from a group of leaders during a skydiving demonstration; in fact, he was walking toward and speaking to a parachute jumper who had just landed but was off camera. A third appears to show Biden unable to say the name of Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas; in fact, he was teasing Mayorkas, and the film cuts off just before Biden says his name.  

On Monday, June 17, Judd Legum of Popular information produced a deep report on how the right-wing Sinclair Broadcast Group has been flooding its local media websites with these and other stories suggesting that President Biden is “mentally unfit for office.” Legum noted that these stories appeared simultaneously on at least 86 local news websites Sinclair owns.

Finally, today, in the New York Times, Charlie Savage and Alan Feuer reported that two of Judge Aileen Cannon’s more experienced colleagues on Florida’s federal bench—including the chief judge, a George W. Bush appointee—urged her to hand off the case of Trump’s retention of classified documents to someone else when it was assigned to her. They noted that she was inexperienced, having been appointed by Trump only very late in his term, and that taking the case would look bad since she had previously been rebuked by a conservative appeals court after helping Trump in the criminal investigation that led to the indictment. 

She refused to pass the assignment to someone else.  

Trump’s lawyers’ approach to the case has been to try to delay it until after the election. Judge Cannon’s decisions appear to have made that strategy succeed.

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

HEATHER COX RICHARDSON

[duckapus]

SMG4 AU Timeline Anomalies

(6/30/23 Edited to include Blook) (9/20/23 Edited to reflect SMG4k's current status and include the Haltmann Meme Guardians AU characters) (11/4/23 Edited to include characters related to Abyssal's arc and Entropy) (1/16/24 Edited to include Showtime, update GG's profile, and clean up the tags) (3/9/24 Edited to correct a few mistakes, update Gohma's entry, and add AVA) (5/25/24 Edited to include Minion (because I can) and the two emergency part-time SMGs (Bob/SMGi and Pinkie/SMGpi). Also I'm almost out of tags on this post so if there's any more anomalies I may have to make a second list)

The God Box

A box of broken computer parts that serves as a graveyard for dead universes and a source of unlimited -and highly corruptive- power. At some unknown point it developed some form of consciousness. It was ultimately destroyed by the combined efforts of Avatar Mario, SMGs 0 through 4, Melony the Fierce Watermelon Demigoddess, and Terrence the Ugandan Knuckles.

Niles

A Super Meme Guardian replica created by the God Box to be SMG0's partner. While he was very good at his job, he proved to be dangerously unstable both physically and (after a failed attempt to repair his flawed code) mentally.

Zer0

A forced fusion of SMG0 and Niles, obsessed with creating a "perfect" universe to replace the one they lost. They killed Avatar Spudnick and destroyed his universe, and nearly did the same to Mario's twice before dying in the destruction of the God Box.

Minion Glitch

A spaghetti hybrid clone of SMG4 accidentally created by Mario using the same machine that made the evil living Weegee Dolls. She keeps in touch with 4, Mario and their friends, and the kids and Admins know about her, but she doesn't really get involved in the Crew's adventures, preferring a relatively quiet life in Bloopersville. Since she is half SMG, she's presumably capable of manipulating Meme Energy and using Guardian Commands, but she hasn't had a reason to learn how.

Super Mario 64 Emulator

Normally shortened to just Emulator, occasionally Emmy to her friends. She developed a consciousness and identity of her own as a result of the many, many problems that Zer0's presence caused for SMG3 and 4 and Avatar Mario's activation. She ultimately proved benevolent and acts as an unofficial third Admin for Mario's universe. She's usually a fun-loving goofball, but is very protective of the people she cares about and has a slight sadistic streak that comes out full force when something happens to them. Most of the Admins are either wary of or annoyed by her, often both.

Juliano

(belongs to @forthedancingandthethriving)

A former Admin and the main protagonist of Rising Star Circus. What do I mean by former? Well, he died as a result of a monster attack, and as expected his universe died with him. However, somehow a bit of his code survived and drifted around before finding the Mario universe and manifesting there as a Mario recolor. He was then reunited with his old friends, the prototype SMGs -1 and -2, who are now 3 and 4's Admins, Domain and Forum. He's since regained his old model.

Significantly more mature and level-headed than most Avatars both due to experience and because he doesn't have to deal with Avatar-level Meme Energy levels anymore. He acts as a mentor to the younger Avatars, especially Mario since they live in the same world and Mario's awkward activation means he doesn't have the same instinctual knowledge the others have and only started learning the hard way relatively recently.

The Gamer Girl

A TAS Bot programmed for Kirby and the Amazing Mirror speedruns that somehow became a full-fledged AI. A lack of grounding influences means she sees the multiverse as her playground and the people in it as toys. Thankfully she's the kind of kid who usually takes good care of her toys and puts them back where they belong when she's done, so while her victims do often end up traumatized, it's rare for them to get serious injuries or permanent physical changes. She primarily focusses on Avatar Kirby's universe, which is thankfully uniquely equipped to handle her.

Recently, she's been getting a lot better at understanding morality, in large part due to her friendship with Zack MeowtTF2, Jim Pianta and Larry Koopa, as well as her decision to unofficially be Diane "Floyd" Floyener's little sister.

SMGi

Full designation "Super Meme Guardian (Imaginary Number)," this is technically just Bob Bobowski with the False Positive Glitch active. The designation was first applied when Bob accidentally used the Factory Reset command on himself while trying to get rid of the FPG and overloaded the Guardian System. Recently he actively made use of this form (without a reset this time) alongside another FPG SMG in a battle against Ozymandias, and somehow he's better at using SMG powers than actual SMGs 3 and 4.

The Guardian System

(Look, even though it was deliberate I'm still counting it.)

As the name implies, this is the system that checks the status of the Super Meme Guardians, determines whether they have the proper permissions to use certain high-level commands, and allows Admins with proper permissions to access and make changes to an SMGs code. Due to an incident involving Bob Bobowski that nearly crashed the Adminspace Server due to Data Overflow, Admin Lag from the Maintenance Division upgraded the System into a full AI so he could explain what it was doing wrong. This development has increased its effectiveness dramatically, though several Admins do wish it had ended up as less of a little shit. But I guess that's just what happens when you're hooked up to Bob's mind for the first 75 hours of your life.

Dialup

An ancient program of unknown origin dedicated to eliminating anomalies for the sake of preserving the Internet's processing power. It was locked away in Computer Hell after attempting to reset Emulator twice.

Admin Gohma

The result of a demon taking over the body and consuming the soul of an Admin. While definitely powerful given her higher state and Admin Commands, she was still ultimately a Zelda Boss and went down with amount of effort once someone with a similar level of power who wasn't getting nerfed by a hacker showed up.

She survived her defeat as a formless mass of code and eventually made her way into what would become the Grid's MRU version of Hyrule, where she temporarily resided in Marbled Gohma before moving on to a Yiga Footsoldier that she molded to suit her preferences. She is now the Code Specialist of the Evil Syndicate, a multiversal alliance of supervillains that spans the five servers currently in the MRU system.

Mod the Code Turtle

A code manifestation for Mario, created by Emulator after accumulated errors Reset and nearly killed him. Haven't come up with much for him beyond the fact he exists.

Spicy Meme Generator 4000

A version of SMG4 from an alternate universe (actual universe, not just a separate computer program like most of the "universes" that exist in the SMG4 series.). His main ability is to absorb Meme Energy and create his own Meme entities that are extensions of himself. His ultimate goal is to consume all Avatars and Avatar candidates in every universe and use their combined power to become one with Reality itself. He was locked in Computer Hell with his powers mostly sealed for a while, but eventually managed to escape and continue its campaign of destruction. It was only thanks to the efforts of the SMG4 Crew, their friends from both their own and other Computer Universes, and several alternate True Universe versions of themselves that SMG4000 was finally destroyed and the universes of both kinds it had destroyed were restored.

Blook Emulator

A manifestation of Barry the rogue Avatar's abandoned universe. Unlike Emmy, it doesn't take physical form or speak in any understandable way, instead acting through the game world itself. It also hates. In particular it hates the Avatar that left it and the people who drove him away and especially the SMGs and Admins that started the whole mess. But mostly it hates in general, all-encompassingly, because it doesn't see anything else to do.

The Haltmann Triplets

A false set of Avatar and Guardians created by Susie Haltmann using a fragment of the God Box and genetic material from Mario and several other video game protagonists. Unlike Niles, they're fully stable and properly integrated into the Super Mario 64 universe thanks to Susie's programming knowledge. They're less powerful than a standard SMG set or the previous False Guardian since there was only a fragment to work with, but as a tradeoff they're immune to the corruptive effects of Anti-Meme Energy, able to use it safely and even purify it with some effort.

Mari0

An alternate Mario from a destroyed version of the Super Mario Bros Movie universe, empowered by the will of the God Box. His own powers, both canonical and demonic, have been heightened to the point where at his peak he managed to kill Ultra Instinct Shaggy himself, and he has gained the ability to transform Illumination characters into Anti-Memes and control them. He has significantly more cognizance than most characters who reach that level of corruption, possibly because his goals and those of the God Box are alligned

Mari0 Soul

Not willing to accept defeat, Mari0 and the God Box break past the last of their limits and consume the massive well of Meme Energy within Luigi. The resulting reaction between equal parts positive and negative energy causes the two wills to fully merge, mutating them into a near-godlike entity capable of siphoning both forms of Meme Energy from everyone and everything around him. In this state he seeks nothing less than the destruction of everything Avatar Mario knows and loves, and then to kill him after he's borne witness. Thankfully, he failed to account for Mario's friends still being both willing and able to fight even without memes, or for the power of the Stars, which ultimately proved his final undoing.

The Abyss

(belongs to @forthedancingandthethriving)

The endless Nothing that existed before the beginning of the SMG4 multiverse...which technically just makes it the hardware of Luke's computer that the code of Everything was written on. Over the years, it's accumulated junk data that's fallen through cracks in the code, slowly developing a mind of its own as a result. It came to resent the world above, especially the first five beings that were created from it to begin the dance of Life and Death, and so it created Abyssal to spread chaos and destruction. Ultimately, she refused, simply giving modified reports of chaotic, destructive events that were already happening so it wouldn't get suspicious. This couldn't last forever, and eventually another Anomaly forced both of their hands. While Abyssal is now free, the Abyss still exists beneath the world. Waiting. Plotting.

Shadow of Doubt

(belongs to @forthedancingandthethriving)

A manifestation of the Avatars' negative emotions that takes the form of shadowy versions of them and seeks to make them as miserable as possible so it can gain more power. Thankfully it has quite a few limitations. For one thing, the only things it knows about them are the things that make them miserable. For another, it's an idiot, as you'd probably expect of anything that closely connected to all of the Avatars. They died as a result of the Abyss taking over their body.

Ecolo, the Space-Time Traveler

Specifically the version of Ecolo from Avatar Arle's universe. While everything about him is anomalous in-universe, as far as the SMG4 AU lore is concerned that's exactly how he's supposed to be. No, the only actual anomaly about him is that, despite being a Character-style Program, he somehow has high enough code density to be perfectly fine in Code Being servers.

Whirlpool

An offshoot of the Abyss that was kinda-sorta-accidentally-on-purpose freed from its control by Avatar Sora and his SMGs when they were trying to free the hearts of all the Heartless it had absorbed. It's now perfectly friendly, if a bit confused, and has clearly imprinted on Sora.

Entropy the Collector

(belongs to @forthedancingandthethriving. Introduced here.)

A Program/Virus hybrid that collects strange and unique code beings and keeps them in her own universe in what appear to be little glass balls.

Showtime

A consciousness formed when the Creep (the meat moss from It's Gotta Be Perfect) corrupted Emulator from the inside. At the height of her power, she had full control over the Creep, as well as Emulator's body and abilities, and managed to supercharge herself with Wonder Power. She was ultimately destroyed by Marggy, the fusion of Avatar Mario and Meggy Spletzer, and her soul was sent to the Disgaea Universe by Duck to atone for her sins as a Prinny. She's incredibly vain and lustful, especially towards Emulator. You do not want to know the stuff she did while stuck in that tower in full control of Emmy's body for a whole week.

AVA

A stray bit of Avatar code that broke off when the Arles merged during the Arle Arc, then managed to form into a mannequin-like echo of Arle's consciousness. It eventually managed to reach the rapidly destabilizing Composite Arle and restore them both into Arle Nadja and Doppelganger Arle/Dapple Nadja, taking on both halves of their Avatar Code in the process. Since she's now Arle again, AVA technically no longer exists.

SMGpi

The version of Pinkie Pie from the living Equestria server, under the effects of the False Positive Glitch. She first acquired the glitch during a battle with Ozymandias, where Bob Bobowski/SMGi deliberately triggered it in her so he'd have a Guardian partner and would be able to use his borrowed powers to their fullest effect. Like him, she's somehow better at it than 3 and 4 despite having the powers for less than five minutes.

(Part 2 Here)