#kira-7 thank you so much!!!! it makes me so happy to hear you say you love him!!!! ;;w;; i love your tags omg!! ;////;

[celestialiron]

Echoes of Courage: Chapter 7

Short chapter for today! Here's to finally feeding some lore, even if it's a little bit lol. Hope everyone had a great week/weekend!

Summary: *Frank Sinatra's voice* ♪Regrets..... I've had a few...♪

(Prologue: Ch.1 - Ch.2 - Ch.3 - Ch.4 - Ch.5 - Ch.6 - Current)

Sunday hit a lot faster than usual, meaning time was flying for the end of August and entering September the next day. With time flying, it also meant a new day for a fresh start to the day.

Especially for those that needed to apologize for their surprised plan of action in a certain training room.

Izra sighed into her couch, waiting a bit before deciding to call Valeria to apologize for what had happened on Friday.

Again.

Hearing the door open, with the sounds of shuffling of feet and paws, Rai entered from grocery shopping with Alex, hoping he would make the food she said she was going to make tonight. “She still isn’t answering?” Rai asked, knowing that Izra had been trying to call Val for about a day or so now. “No and I already talked to Kira yesterday and she also said that she wasn’t responding to her text messages too!” Groaning with what she said, Izra laid face down on her couch, feeling both restless and guilty at what happened before. Putting most of the groceries away, giving Alex a treat while he laid on his bed by the window, Rai made his way towards the couch, lifting Izra up so she was sideways, head lying comfortably on his lap. 

“Once again, I did warn you what would’ve happened if you pulled what you did in the training room,” “I know you did, you don’t have to rub it in.” She grumbled while he chuckled, soothingly rubbing her arms in comfort. “I’ll never understand why she always fights against herself! She always does that, glad that no matter how long it’ll be, she’ll shield away her heart so nothing and no one can hurt her!” Izra was beyond frustrated to say the least. Growing up, Valeria had a tendency to shut down when it came to her having feelings for anyone, but then destroys herself and the person she has feelings for in the process too, thinking it would be better that way. She just wanted her best friend to be happy, but not if it comes down to Valeria hurting herself, again . “Izzie, you know what she went through growing up. We all also suffered a lot too. Sometimes it’s hard to forget, you should understand that.” “I do, but we’re in a place where peace can be real, where the healing is here for us too! I just… I just want her to be happy. And the same with Kira!” Closing her eyes, enjoying the soothing sensation Rai was giving to her. “Kira told me already yesterday about her and Donnie’s conversation and they’re fine for now, but it’s the same with them too!” “I know babe, you just have to give both of them time, as usual.” Smiling, grateful Rai was here comforting her. “Yeah, I know. Thanks Rai,”  she looked up at him, reaching out with one hand to cup his cheek. 

“Y’know, Leo did tell me what had happened that day too. Especially the conversation he had with Donnie . ” Surprised by that statement, Izra sat up real quick, moving so that she was sitting on the couch with her legs over his lap. “Really now? What did he even say?” She asked, 100% ready for the information Rai got when hanging out with Leo that day. “I’ll tell you, but you need to promise me to not say anything to anyone. I cannot stress that enough Izzie ,” nodding furiously, waiting for what was about to be said, Rai continued on. 

“Well, it sort of went like this…”

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Here sitting on the ledge of Run of the Mill restaurant, Rai waited patiently for Leo to grab their food, ready to hear what exactly happened during training that he had to talk to him immediately about. Hearing his phone buzz, getting a couple texts from Izra, which just read…

IzzieKitty♥️: I hate it when you’re right sometimes! 

IzzieKitty♥️: So much happened during training, whenever you get the chance, please stop by! 😭

“Texting your sweetheart there, Joseph?” Turning his head to where Leo was standing, finally out with some pizza, Rai laughed, putting his phone away while shaking his head at the use of his middle name. “I still can’t believe your brother found out what my middle name was. I’ve done so well without anyone else knowing!” Laughing while sitting alongside him, Leo couldn’t help but to mess around with Rai, feeling a lot better than he did earlier. “Hey, if only you had a better first name, then the nicknames would be better!” “Sure, okay, because that was the issue! Also, don’t try to avoid the subject, you only call me that when you have something to talk about!” Rai questioned, knowing full well the conversation was going to go elsewhere if he hadn’t brought up why he was in the Hidden City, eating pizza with Leo late in the afternoon. Leo sighed, knowing that he did text Rai to talk to him about the incident that happened, just not sure where to start or how to even explain everything. “Well, remember how I told you that I wanted to get Donnie to realize what he’s going to miss out on with Kira?” “Even though she’s currently seeing someone, yes?” Rai answered, not entirely too sure where this was going. “Well, let’s just say your lovely girlfriend sort of read my mind somehow and made slight changes for training today…”

“I don’t know if I should be excited or terrified? Scratch that, I’m terrified, what the hell did she do?”

“Well, she said that Kira needed help with some moves we did last session, which made both Val and Donnie not too happy with the idea at all…”

“And?”

“And I sort of… maybe possibly… went a bit too far with explaining it to them again…”

Rai blinked slowly, looking at Leo who nervously chewed on his pizza, not knowing how to continue off from there. “...oh my god Leo, what did you do?!” Rai exclaimed, surprised that Leo was even sitting here, speaking to him at all! “Nothing too bad! Just kind of, maybe, sorta, went a bit too handsy with Kira and Donnie did not react well to that at all!” Leo finished, hands up in defense, trying to gather his thoughts on how to explain the rest of the situation to Rai. Shaking his head, putting down his second slice, fully turned towards Leo, face 100% serious. 

“How are you even still here?! And alive?! You KNOW how Donnie feels about Kira and HE HASN’T KILLED YOU YET?!” “I KNOW, I ALMOST WAS!” Leo shouted, burying his face into his hands while leaning back on his shell, continuing his rant from earlier, “see, all of us have been trying to get Donnie to open his eyes for so long and try to at least do something different on the approach, but it seemed like he gave up! LIKE IT WAS NOTHING! And it doesn’t make it better that Kira is seeing that jerk, who hates us, mind you, and it’s so clear that she also has feelings for this dum-dum of my brother, but it’s like both of them are either too blind or just doesn’t want to act on it!” Looking down to where he was lying, Leo dropped his hands from his face over his plastron, looking more frustrated than before. “We’ve tried so hard to get either of them to act on their feelings, but no, this idiot isn’t even trying, just staying friends with her. AND THE NERVE TO CASUALLY TELL US THAT ONE NIGHT HE WAS GOING TO SEE SOMEONE?! FOR TECH THINGS?! MY ASS JUST FOR THAT!” Rolling over, Leo jumped to his feet and started to pace around the rooftop, “when today happened, I knew I had to take that opportunity that Izra set up for and she didn’t even know it! When Donnie pulled me over, I really did think I was going to get murdered by him,” he shivered, not wanting to think of all the possibilities Donnie could’ve had to end everything for him. “But he just questioned everything, like it wasn’t obvious enough. “Why are you doing that?! What’s wrong with you?! SHE HAS SOMEONE” and so on and so forth. All I told him, which I want to say that April told him the same thing, was “just because she has someone, doesn’t mean they’re the right person for her. You’re going to regret not having a shot and lose her if you don’t make your move!” That’s all I said and he had no words. Cause he knew I was right, but no, I still get the short end of the stick from all of this! I’m just looking out for him!” 

With his rant finished, heaving deep breaths from talking so much, there was so much to impact on from hearing the story. Nodding in understanding, Rai had thought of something that still didn’t make sense to him. “You said both Donnie AND Val were upset. Do you know why she was upset?” Standing stiffly, Leo turned his head over his shoulder, answering as best as he could, “at first I thought it had to do with the training. There’s usually a routine that we do for the training session, but when Izra suggested what she did, Val seemed upset and confused by it. When I found her before leaving, I had wanted to say sorry for what happened, but she was the one who apologized. Then told me that she just needed a bit of time to cool off and left it at that. I hope that was the only reason…” Looking upwards at the supposed sky, thoughts running through his head, Leo wasn’t sure what to think of from Valeria’s point of view. He really did hope it was because of the training as to why she reacted that way. Curious about his thoughts about the issue at hand, Leo looked over to Rai, who was leaning into the palm of his hand, looking to be in his own thoughts, probably thinking of what could’ve been the issues with his childhood friends. “Rai, you’ve known Kira and Val longer than us, what do you think they’re feeling right now?” Sitting down next to him, Leo waited patiently on the answer to his question. Sighing out loudly, Rai finally had his own thoughts to share. “Honestly, even I’m not sure what they would be feeling. Kira and Val are sort of the same but the opposite of each other. Val sometimes shuts out her feelings and moves on as if there’s not a care in the world after maybe a couple hours or even a couple days. Kira locks in her feelings and doesn’t say a word about it. Keeping everything to herself really. Honestly, the only few people that would understand them the most would be Izra, Ruka, Sara, and Riku. Izra and Ruka, they all constantly hung out together every day since practically day one and obviously Kira’s siblings.” 

With his explanation finished, Rai turned over to Leo, who looked to be even more conflicted about everything once more. Placing his hand on his shoulder, making Leo look over towards him, Rai smiled, trying his best to cheer him up. “Listen Lee, sometimes when emotions get too out of hand, things like this will happen. But I promise you, everything will be okay. You just gotta let the girls figure it out on their own and as for Donnie…” Rai hesitated, still not 100% sure about that whole situation with his brother, “I think he’ll understand where you’re coming from. But you still need to apologize cause you also didn’t have to go to the extreme of being handsy with Kira,” he side-eyed Leo, making him chuckle nervously, knowing he was right about that. “But you care enough about him that you pulled whatever stunt you did, right?” “Of course I care! Not just Donnie, I don’t want any of them to get hurt and seeing how much it bothers him, I can’t stand it! I just want him to be happy, however way he can be.” Leo finished, feeling like someone was understanding him a whole lot better than what he got lectured on from Raph earlier too. “Thanks Rai, I’m glad I got the chance to talk to you. I’m sorry if you had anything planned and I ruined it,” patting his shoulder, grabbing his half eaten slice of pizza, Rai cut him off. “You didn’t ruin any plan, just going to see Izra later anyways, so this was the perfect buffer,” with that said, making Leo laugh loudly, happy to have made him feel a lot better about the whole situation. Smiling widely, Rai wanted to tease Leo, seeing as his friend was feeling more himself once again, “and I wanted to ask how things were going with this person you’ve been sleeping with anyways!” Stuttering before answering him, the two talked about everything and anything else before Rai decided to head over to his lovely girlfriend’s apartment.

To hear the rest of the story from her point of view…

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Oh man, I’m just glad you were there to make him feel better.” Izra said, face laying sideways to his shoulder, looking up at him when finished with the story. Rai rubbed his eyes with his free hand sighing, while the other held Izra closely to him by the waist. “Yeah, man’s was a whole mess. And I can also see what you meant whenever Val or Leo are mentioned in any form of conversation from either of them. It was as clear as day that he has feelings for her, but my curiosity is also wondering, how do you know or see how she has feelings for him?” Glancing and picking up her phone, Izra went to find something that Rai wasn’t entirely sure what she was looking for. “Remember whenever I had the free chance to, I would write down the most important lessons that I learned from home?” Confused, not knowing where she was going with this, Rai nodded, “but you had like a million notebooks that you would write them in. I didn’t even know you had some in your phone!” Shaking her head, Izra explained it, “I know, but the ones on my phone were not the ones I would write down. It would be from Pops or your parents and all,” looking through her phone, she found the one note that was saved from Valeria’s father. “This note, though so long ago, always made me remember to tell Val on occasion if her dad wasn’t saying it to her when he wasn’t home sometimes on those “business” trips.” Showing it to Rai, he read it aloud.

“Find someone that’ll look at you with so much love that you’ll be able to see yourself through their eyes. Whoever it is, let them be that star in your life.”

Still a bit confused, Rai asked, “okay, but what does this have to do with her or Leo?”

“Pops always made sure to let her know this, even when she would go through all those heartbreaks during school. Valé would always say that she was annoyed by it, but I knew she kept it to heart. She always knew her dad was never lying about these sorts of things too,” putting her phone away, Izra went back to laying her head on Rai’s shoulder. “I see the way they both look at each other. The way she looks at Leo and talks either to him or about him. But I also see when she talks about the guy she’s sleeping with too, it’s like all of her emotions are all over the place. It’s like maybe, with everything happening, she doesn’t know what to do.” With that said, Rai held her close while she shut her eyes, both thinking about other possibilities about both of their friend’s feelings about the twin brothers. “And with how Kira’s feeling from what she’s told you, it’s even more hard for her to even think of anything more with Donnie too. Man, trauma fucking sucks , you know that babe,” laughing at his sudden but true accusation, Izra opened her eyes slightly, humming in agreement while nodding with him, checking the time, hoping it wasn’t too late to order dinner, clearly neither of the two in any mood to cook anything. Before either of them knew it, Izra’s phone started ringing, noticing who the caller was, as fast as she could while standing back up, grabbed her phone to pick up Valeria’s incoming call.

“Hi, I wasn’t expecting you to call so late!”

“I’m sorry, is it a bad time?”

“NO! I mean, of course not Valé! How are you feeling?”

She heard a heavy sigh from the other side, a little nervous Valeria was still not doing well since the training incident. “I’m doing better than I was on Friday. Luckily I had the weekend off from work anyways too, heh.” Chuckling softly, Izra waited to hear more from Valeria, “listen. I’m sorry for how I acted. I knew I shouldn’t have done it, but everything was happening so fast, even I wasn’t sure what was happening. But…” She paused, making Izra sweat with more nervousness, “I was talking with Kira earlier before calling you and like I told her too, I appreciate your help, but I need to figure these things out for myself Izzie. I understand where you’re all coming from, but please, for my sake, just let me handle it… Please?” Breathing out slowly, not even realizing she was holding her breath the whole time, Izra responded to Valeria, hoping to make amends with her friend. 

“For you, I’ll back off, but only for a bit, okay? I love you Val and I feel bad about what happened, but I also just want you to be happy too.”

“I know Izzie, you all are, but I hadn’t needed it before, so please, let me handle it from then on. If not for your own sake, but mine too?”

She sadly smiled, Izra understanding where Valeria was coming from, as usual . “I will, I promise you and Kira that. So, we’re good then?” “Yes, we’re good. Just don’t pull another stunt like that again! At least not with me, do it to Kira, she may need it more than me!” Both laughing, Izra just shook her head, “I think I’ll hold off until the fires dim down from this alone, are you trying to get me killed?!” “Always, that’s just been our friendship for years now,” still laughing at each other, Izra was the one to end the call, “I’m just glad you’re feeling better. Rai and I are about to eat, so please do the same and take care of yourself! Don’t do anything stupid missy!” “Yeah, yeah I won’t! I’ll talk to you guys later, love you, bye!” With that, the phone call ended, leaving Izra feeling better, having Valeria forgive her for what happened while also feeling better that she talked to Kira about it too. “So now that you’ve all forgiven each other, what does it mean for the rest of them now?” Rai asked, curious as to what the next sort of plan would be for the group as a whole. “For now, Leo said that we should take it easy on training days. Possibly keep it on shorter days while they keep an eye out for anything suspicious happening around the city still.” 

While waiting for their food to be delivered, Izra actually wasn’t sure what the guy’s next steps were for their missions from here on out. With these new enemies popping up while old ones seem to be getting more riskier, she and the rest of the group weren’t too sure how they would handle it all.

Especially if these “new” enemies are targeting all of them once again…

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(Next: Ch.8)

[marjansmarwani]

20 Questions aka. Oversharing on the Internet version 92840938

Thanks for the tag @welcometololaland! Maybe reviewing all this will get me back in the writing spirit? 🤞

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

147

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

749,567

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently just Lone Star, but I do have a Midsomer Murders fic in progress too

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

A Puzzle I Love to Solve (911 LS)

Friends Like These (911 LS)

Brother (I will hear you call) (911 LS)

Where You Go, I Go (a 911/Lone Star crossover)

tender-hearted sadness pulls me through the day (911 LS)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to! I love reading them. andI try to respond, but lately (aka the past year or so) I just haven't had the bandwidth for it

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

While about 85% of my fics are angsty, most of them have a happy ending. But not all of them. The obvious answer for this question is shut your eyes and fall apart (the one where I kill TK), but I think that my 2x02 coda - heavy from the hurt inside my veins - is a stong contender, especially with Nancy's section ending the fic. Honorable mention to time can heal, but this won't a 1x08 coda in which Carlos blames himself for TK getting shot.

Still, 3 out of 147 isn't bad.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of them do, and it's too hard to pick one.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Occassionally. If I do it's usually pretty mild and easy to ignore. I've only gotten really nasty hate once.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do not.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I don't usually, the closest I have gotten to a crossover is a fic from the show crossover.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of, but I have had an OC stolen "borrowed." That was weird to encounter in another fic.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not as far as I know

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Once, and @justaswampdemon and I have one started. Someday we might finish it.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Tarlos has a very special place in my heart

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

At this point? Any of them.

But in reality, I have some AUs I doubt will ever get past the outline stage, as much as I would like to see them done

16. What are your writing strengths?

✨Angst✨ But also, characterization and pacing I think.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Smut.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I think I have done it once or twice, but I think it depends on why you are using it. If it makes sense and it's not being used in a sterotypical or insensitive or fetishining manner, then I typically say go for it. That being said, personally I would only do it with Spanish because that's the only other language I feel comfortable writing in.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

In peak early 2000s teen fashion, Harry Potter.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

I can never decide, so here's a few honorable mentions:

You Can Learn to Love (Again) - Teacher AU

you can't hide from time - the one where I created the 252 crew

why can't I hold on? - my gwyn fic

I promise you that it's worth the risk - Amnesia fic

I am not what you planned - Dr. Reyes/Paramedic Strand

would've loved you for a lifetime

no pressure tagging a few people: @reyesstrand @justaswampdemon @moviegeek03 @morganaspendragonss @detectivecarlosreyes @kiras-sunshine @sunshinestrand

[restinpeacesensei]

[star-trek-dumb-comics]

I was curious - who are your top ten favourite characters through all of the Star Trek series and why? I really enjoy your art, great job! It's always exciting when your stuff comes up on the dash because it's just *that good* and another thrilling installment!

First of all, thanks a lot !! It always makes me super happy when I hear people are excited about my art :D

And uh.. Oh that’s a tough one. I could easily tell you my fave character for each show, but an overall top 10? Let me think…

1 - Doctor McCoy and Spock

Theses two have been my fave TOS characters since I first watched the show back in 2015. And TOS may not be my favorite Trek anymore, but it will always have this special place in my heart ‘cause I’ve been obsessing over it for so much longer than the other shows (I started watching them back in like September 2020). So yeah Bones and Spock come first. And they’re both number 1 bc I was never able to choose between them and I probably never will

2 - Doctor Bashir 

Hhhh Julian I love him I was part of the Elite Intellectuals who liked him even in the first DS9 season when he was annoying (maybe because him making the worst first impression on his future friends is something I find extremely relatable ? hum). I love his evolution too even if I’m not a fan of the Augment thing. He’s also very cute and hot I want to peg him

3 - Kira Nerys

Kira is hand down the best female character in all of star trek. Episodes focused on her were always interesting, and idk I’ve always loved characters that are very religious (without being zealots) ? Idk why, I’m a strong atheist so it’s super unrelatable to me but it makes me more interested and invested in them for some reason. Anyway she is also super pretty and hot and I love her smile and her voice and I’d let her step on me any day

4 - Tuvok

He’s just really cool and I love Vulcans. And also I think his actor is the only one beside Nimoy (and maybe the second actress who played Saavik) to really perfectly grasp how to play a Vulcan, and that makes him really compelling

5 - Will Riker

I really love this jazz himbo and I absolutely don’t know why ! By all accounts he shouldn’t be my favorite TNG character but for some reason he is

6 - Data

Ahh what could be said about everyone’s favourite android that hasn’t been said. He makes me very emotional for some reason, sometimes he’s so adorable I want to cry and every time something bad happened to him i’m just :’’’(

7 - Shran

This guy probably appear in like 6 episodes total (and I’ve only seen 3 of them so far) but he just carries Enterprise so much. He just makes the show 10 times better every time he walks on screen.he’s also played by Jeffrey Combs which gives him a bonus

8 - Q

Also a guys who steals the show every time he shows up. Less than shran tho but just because TNG is really much more solid than Ent. He’s just so damn fun

9 - Dukat

Ohh boy this is gonna piss off some people. But listen this guy is by far the best Trek villain. He’s ridiculously charismatic and makes every scene he’s in super entertaining no matter how wonky the writting is. It’s hilarious watching him getting in the most ridiculous situations but he can still be threatening when needed. He’s definitely an interesting character, he’s a gigantic asshole but as a character I just can’t hate him. Also, as many of you are aware, i’m a lizardfucker... so there’s that

10 - Worf

That’s it that’s just worf what else is there to say. I love this dude i’m so happy he got to be on both TNG and DS9

Honorable mentions who almost made it to the list : The EMH, Quark, Seven of Nine, Malcom Reed, Jadzia Dax, Captain Picard

Anyway that’s all I have sorry for the long post lol, I realise that my reasons for liking theses characters are always something like “I just love them and also i’m horny” but hey. When I love something I don’t always have a good explanation as to why okey

[galacticjava]

so I know it's 2021 and death note aint exactly poppin anymore but let me say something here

one thing I love about death note that makes me both happy and sad is the fact that we are never shown how light actually is outside of the death note's influence. we see him for like twenty seconds before he picks up the death note, which is heavily, HEAVILYYYY implied to be cursed (Ryuk saying every human who's met with it has led a life of misfortune, light being DRASTICALLY different during yotsuba, it being said that the note makes people use it, etc)

so that gives people a LOT of wiggle room when writing light in fanfic. and that's fun and fine and good, but can I say that I am tired,,,, 🤌TIRED🤌 of seeing light just be actin exactly the same even when he's written as never even having touCHEd the death note

I GET IT, ITS YALLS AU AND YALL CAN WRITE WHATEVER U WANT HOWEVER U WANT!!!!!! it is yours to do with as u PLEASE 💕😤💕

But mannn my favorite light is a warm light. I rly like imagining light as being just as charming when he's himself as when he's Kira, BUT Real Light runs out of socially smooth, scripted things to say after about an hour, and eventually drifts into Dork Mode where he ends up talking about all this nerdy shit he's actually into (",,,,,,,,,,,,,,, have you heard of sanpaku eyes? I don't know how much merit it actually holds, but it's still an interesting observation. it means 'three whites' and it's in reference to how a lot of psychopaths have the top or bottom white of their eye visible around their iris--" "okay light")

more headcanons I have for my lil version of Actual Light I've created in my head:

• surprisingly funny and usually out of nowhere

• makes fun of L for being a "homeschooler" and how it explains a lot

• v close with sayu. plays wii and Pokémon with her and they go on morning jogs together before school while light quizzes her with unnecessarily complicated versions of her study guide to get a laugh in before breakfast

• much closer with his mom than he is with his dad. knows how to and is adept at sewing, cooking, and cleaning. I like to think his mom knew he Wasn't Straight Very Early On and they both know it but light still hasn't said anything out loud to her yet. they love each other v v much

• got his first and only failing grade when he was 14 just bc he forgot to do it. keeps a planner now and writes absolutely everything in it. L thinks it's funny bc light's so, so smart but he's also so forgetful. also forgets to eat all the time

• doesn't have any real friends and never has. really adept at socializing for a little while, but runs out of socially smooth things to say after about an hour, and that's kept him from making genuine friends bc no one else rly wants to talk about black holes or unsolved murders. has One Friend at To-Oh that sits next to him, and it's bc she listens to true crime podcasts and is rly interested in unsolved murders. that's it

• going off that, I also like to imagine light being really reALLY interested in L when he first meets him, not even romantically or anything. just bc hes never met anyone on his same wavelength and it's so cathartic just to sit and talk to L and not have to wait or slow down, bc L already knows what he's saying and what he means. loves playing chess as expected, but also loves playing "guess who" with L once they're good enough friends for a while to get there. they make up questions like "do they look like they wake up at 4:30 am every day and drink lemon water while they run before the sun is up" "yes" *flips down seven tabs*

• I see light as a heavy iced coffee drinker. not even bc he needs it to wake up or anything but just bc he likes the constant light buzz throughout the day, and it also helps him stay focused on everyday things that would otherwise bore him and make his mind wander. mans likes iced caramel macchiatos. eet eez what eet eez and it makes sense in my head

• don't clown me but y'all know how every lil genius in death note has their favorite snacks. aight so lights is fresh sliced oranges. mans could eat a whole bag by himself in an hour. I will not elaborate

• always does dress nice yeah, like Kira!Light, but also comfortably and sometimes like he's 45. Has never worn a pair of acidwash jeans in his life. Khakis or joggers 24/7, and the occasional slim fit dark jeans. has 20 cardigans. one pair of high top white vans, one pair of dark grey low top vans, and the rest would all qualify as business casual. doesn't know what a flip-flop is and will cut you off if he hears you say it

• loves cats and really wants one but soichiro doesn't want animals in the house. light secretly feeds a cat that comes to his windowsill every day and has named it "Mao" bc of its obnoxious meow. was once caught meowing at Mao to come closer by sayu walking home and she snapchatted it to him. sayu starts feeding Mao and scritching his ears while light goes to cram school

• openly likes tally hall, joji, mother mother, and glass animals. secretly likes ariana grande and lizzo. blares them in the car with sayu

• typical gifted kid piano player. soichiro signed him up for piano lessons upon learning light was gifted when he was young. uses his skills now to make piano renditions of cardi b songs

• sometimes bakes obsessively when stuck on something. during the Kira case, L walks in the headquarter's kitchen at 2 am to find a very tired looking watari and 16 apple crisps on the counter with light cutting out intricate dough shapes to decorate the tops. they meet eyes once light notices him and stay Silent for a minute. light says he can't get off the idea that it has to be supernatural, as silly as it sounds, because causing heart attacks in such a controlled manner is impossible. there's no way otherwise. L says he was starting to reluctantly think the same thing, but didn't want to overlook anything before he settled on that. they nod to themselves and light goes back to cutting out shapes. L grabs a plate of beignets light made a couple hours earlier and turns back around to walk out

well that's it. thanks for coming to my death note Ted talk

[440mxs-wife]

The Hunter’s Princess- Chapter 3: Winchester Castle

Pairing: Dean x OFC Kira (eventual), Prince!Dean x OFC Lady Kira. Other Characters: Sam Winchester, Prince!Sam Winchester, Castiel, Rowena, Gabriel, King!John, Queen!Mary, Lucifer and assorted minor characters.

Chapter 3 Word Count: 3145+

Warnings: Dean nightmare, Prince!Dean jealous, fluff with Castiel. Each chapter will have individual warnings as needed.

A/N: This is from some material that’s been rattling around in my head from another project that changed direction. Couldn’t let all this content go to waste, though, so here it is. It’s a work-in-progress, and I will try and update as regularly as I can. If you want to be tagged in this series, send me a message!

Thank you and happy reading!

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Two days later, the carriage reached the gates of Winchester Castle. Once inside its walls, Kira was in awe of how much larger it was than her own humble dwelling. As they passed the stable area, Kira saw a short, white-haired man brushing down one of the horses. "Pardon me, sir?" she called.

The man wandered over as the carriage rolled to a brief stop. As soon as he saw who was in the carriage, he removed his cap and gave the ladies a deep bow. "My name is Collins, Lady Kira. I am in charge of the stables. How may I serve you?"

"It's very nice to meet you, Collins," she smiled. "You may help me, kind sir, by letting my driver know where he can park our rig. I need to report for the Princes' Challenge, and I'm sure, be shown to our quarters," she finished.

"It would be an honor, Lady Kira," Collins grinned and winked at her as he proceeded to give the driver the directions he needed.

"Thank you very much, Collins. I hope to see you again, as I love horses. I don't get to ride as often as I'd like, but maybe while I'm here, I'll get an opportunity," Kira remarked.

"Our stables are at your command, Lady Kira. Whenever you fancy a ride, please come down to the stables and ask for me. I would be honored to assist you," Collins replied, with a twinkle in his eye.

Kira laughed and bid him farewell, as the carriage continued to its destination. She and Rowena were shown to their rooms, where they were each assigned a lady's maid. Rowena's was named Katherine and Kira's was named Sarah. When she introduced herself, Kira felt a little dizzy as a feeling of déjà-vu played in her mind. Sarah looked concerned, but Kira assured her she was fine, just needed a drink of water. Sarah quickly poured a glass from the pitcher on the dresser and handed it to Kira, who smiled gratefully, and promptly drained the contents.

"Thank you so much, Sarah. I appreciate it. I think I'll do some unpacking now," Kira said as she moved to open the trunk.

Sarah intercepted her before Kira could put one finger on the trunk. "I will do that for you, Miss. Please, relax. You're competing in the Princes' Challenge, so you'll need to save your strength," she reminded Kira. "Dinner will be at 7 o'clock for any of the competitors who have arrived. May I suggest you wear this?" Sarah held up a pastel green silk empire-waisted gown with cap sleeves. The skirt was dotted with pale pink mini-rosettes embroidered throughout.

Kira marveled at the selection, but did not recall packing such a dress. Rowena. Kira shook her head in amusement as her fingers brushed the locket around her neck. "That will do very nicely, thank you Sarah," Kira responded. "I would like to freshen up a bit from our long carriage ride. Can you please arrange a bath for me in a couple of hours? I'd like to tour the grounds for now, if that's all right," she added.

"Yes, Miss," she said as she curtsied lightly. Kira gently put her hand on Sarah's arm. "When we're in here, just us or with Lady Rowena? You don't need to curtsy. I may be 'Lady Kira', but I'm a little less....formal than most royals, if that makes any sense," she chuckled lightly. This seemed to put Sarah a bit more at ease. "Thank you, Miss. I'll try to remember," she said as she smiled warmly.

Kira decided to check in with Rowena and find out if there were any other surprises in her wardrobe. As she turned around from closing the door, Kira nearly slammed into a raven-haired woman, a little taller than her, dressed in a red satin gown. "Pardon me, I didn't see you there," Kira apologized.

"Then you should watch where you're going," she seethed. "If you don't want to end up on the floor, that is," she smirked.

"Now, Serena, you need to control your temper a bit. It's not her fault she's so clumsy," a man's voice calmly broke in. Kira looked and saw a man with ice blue eyes and sandy blond hair. Lucifer. Her mouth ran dry and she excused herself before he could see the look of absolute terror on her face. Kira hastily knocked on Rowena's door and as soon as it opened, she rushed in, her entire body shaking.

"Och, Kira dear, you look like you've seen a ghost!" Rowena exclaimed. One look at Kira's face told Rowena that she was not far off the mark. "Katherine dear, would you please excuse us?" Katherine nodded and exited the room. "What's wrong, darlin'?" Rowena asked.

"I was coming out of my room, and bumped into someone. I apologized, but she was rather rude about the whole thing. Told me to 'watch where I was going if I didn't want to end up on the floor'. Then a man came up behind her and it was Lucifer," Kira explained.

Rowena's eyes got wide, then she seemed to collect herself again. "I was hoping we could avoid him, but it seems not. Listen to me: you must keep that locket of yours in your possession at all times. No exceptions," she ordered.

"Why? It's just a locket from my mother's jewelry box that she never got around to giving me. What could Lucifer possibly want it for?" Kira asked.

"Darlin', that locket is a very powerful charmed object. It's what brought you here. Your dear mother didn't get a chance to tell you anything about the locket and all of its power. You know as well as I do that if Lucifer got his hands on it, his power would know no limits. He could do the same as you, move freely about the multiverse."

Rowena continued. "Just think of all the trouble he'd cause in those other dimensions, which might even affect our home dimension at some point. Let's face it: we all know that Lucifer is not exactly the poster boy for 'self-control'. It is imperative that you keep hold of that locket, Kira," she finished.

Kira thought back to how the locket glowed in her hands just before she ended up here. Lucifer is a powerful enough archangel as it is. If he were to get hold of the locket....there'd be no stopping him, Kira thought. To her, that was unacceptable. Not to mention, it's her only ticket home after accomplishing whatever it is she's supposed to do here. In that moment, Kira vowed to Rowena that she would protect the locket with everything she had.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Dean went to his room in the bunker to try and get some sleep, at least his usual four hours. However, all he could think of was Kira and how far away from him she is right now. He'd give nearly anything to see her beautiful smile or lose himself in the depths of her soft, hazel eyes. He missed hearing her sing in the kitchen while she was making dinner. The bunker was way too quiet with just him and Sam in it.

If Dean really stopped to think about it, he'd been in love with Kira for quite a long time. Probably started after she started showing him up on the firing range. Dean was never truly upset about Kira being the better shot, but how else was he supposed to get pie? Besides, when she shot the targets better than he did, it always made her smile. And damn, did he love to see her smile.

Where are you, Kira my love? Dean silently wondered. Suddenly, her face appeared before him, but it was like she was looking through him to what was behind him. The look of terror on her face made his blood run cold and was enough to make him turn around to see what it was. Lucifer. Dammit, he was with Kira wherever she was. Oh, Kira darlin', hang on.

Dean was jolted awake and scrambled to sitting upright in bed, taking in huge gulps of air. A sheen of perspiration was on his brow and his T-shirt was soaked.

"What?? What is it?? Dean?!?" Sam shouted as he burst through the door. He heard Dean cry out in terror, which brought him to the door. Sam took in his brother's disheveled appearance and knew he'd had a nightmare of some kind, one involving Kira.

"I saw her. Wherever Kira is, I saw her, Sammy. And she's not alone. I also saw Lucifer," Dean rasped.

"No....." Sam whispered. "Okay, while you change into a dry shirt, I'm gonna call Cas. See if he's come up with anything new, or if Gabriel's been in touch with Cas instead of us," Sam muttered.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

After her encounter with Lucifer, Kira was still a little shaken up. There was no way she was going to catch a nap before dinner, so she decided to tour the grounds a bit. She started in the gardens, which were breathtaking, to say the least. There were so many beautiful flowers that it would take a lifetime to sample each of their fragrances.

Kira lingered most over the lilac bushes, as they were her favorite scent for the brief time that they are in bloom. Kira sat down on a stone bench near the lilac bushes. She closed her eyes and just listened to all of the sounds of nature happening around her.

"Did you know that a honey bee visits 50 to 100 flowers during a collection trip?" a gruff voice behind her said. Kira shrieked in surprise and nearly fell off the bench.

"Wh-what did you say?" she turned to see a man with dark hair and vibrant blue eyes. Where have I seen him before? Kira asked herself as she regained her composure.

"I am sorry to have frightened you, Miss--" he started.

"Lady Kira. And you are?" she responded.

He immediately knelt before her, bowed his head and drew his right arm across his chest. "Forgive me, my lady, I did not realize who you were when I disturbed you. My name is Castiel, head of security and friend to Princes Dean and Samuel. With your permission, I will take my leave of you," he said, rising to his feet.

Kira placed her hand on Castiel's arm to stop his retreat. "Please, Castiel. There's no need to leave. I was on a self-guided tour of the grounds. Besides, I enjoy learning something new every day. For instance, did you know that a honey bee can fly for up to six miles and as fast as 15 miles per hour?" Kira asked, a smile twitching at the corners of her mouth.

Castiel's face broke out into a huge grin and his blue eyes seemed to sparkle. "No, Lady Kira, I was not aware of that. Perhaps I could accompany you? I could act as your tour guide," he suggested, holding out his hand.

"That would be lovely, thank you," Kira smiled, took his hand and rose from the bench. He guided her hand around his arm and tucked it close to his side. "Shall we tour the marketplace next?" he asked.

"Excellent suggestion, Castiel. Please lead the way," Kira replied.

The pair wandered through the marketplace to see what treasures they could find. As far as they could see, there were all types of merchants within the castle walls. Some sold food and drink, some had bolts of vibrantly colored fabrics for sale, still others offered books and jewelry. Kira didn't have a lot of spending money with her, but enough to have some fun and maybe pick up a few trinkets for her house and pub staffs.

As they passed a man selling apples from his cart, Kira's stomach rumbled rather loudly. Castiel looked down at her midsection then back to her face and chuckled. "Well, that was interesting," he grinned.

"And most un-ladylike, I'm so sorry," she grimaced. "How much for the apple?" she asked the man. He quoted the price, and Kira dug out enough coins for two. "Pick one, Castiel," she said.

He chose his apple and Kira chose one. She smiled and gave her thanks to the vendor, who bowed as they left his cart. She turned to Castiel and said, "Okay, on three, we both take a bite of our apple," Kira commanded. "One....two....three!" she counted as they sank their teeth into the fruit.

It was the most amazing apple Kira had ever tasted, tart at first, then giving way to a sweet finish. She groaned in appreciation and looked over to Castiel, who was having a similar reaction. He nodded and smiled at Kira as he enjoyed his apple and they continued their marketplace tour.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Dean and Samuel had just returned from a ride out into the country, enjoying the gorgeous weather. They guided their mounts through the marketplace on their way to the stables. All of a sudden, Dean stopped and Samuel pulled up to a stop beside him. "Look, Samuel. There she is, there's Lady Kira. And she's with Castiel?" he wondered.

The princes watched as Castiel and Lady Kira stopped at a milliner's cart. They took turns trying on different hats, each one more outrageous than the next. When Castiel put on a hat obviously made for a woman, Lady Kira burst into giggles at first, then full-on laughter. At that moment, Dean decided that if he could only hear one sound in the world for the rest of his life, it would be Kira's laughter.

Both princes observed the scene playing out in front of them. Kira seemed so at ease here, not so guarded as she seemed in the pub when the princes had first met her. That night, they heard she'd had to throw out a drunk patron. The man tried to take a few too many liberties with her and one of her staff. She'd also had to deal with two last-minute customers, but both men had to admit, she'd handled both situations with grace.

Samuel looked over at Dean, who had been so relaxed during their ride, now seemed to be genuinely annoyed. Is he....he's jealous! My brother is jealous of his best friend, who at this moment appears as if he's making a move on Lady Kira! Prince Samuel smiled to himself.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Dean dismount and quickly walk over to the milliner's cart. Sam caught the attention of one of the stable hands, Logan, and motioned for him to take the horses to the stables. He dismounted as well and handed the reins for the two horses over to Logan.

"Prince Dean! Prince Samuel!" exclaimed Castiel as his face beamed. "How was your ride today?" he asked.

"Good afternoon, Your Highnesses," Lady Kira greeted as she dipped her head and curtsied.

"Good afternoon, Lady Kira, Castiel," Dean said tightly. "How lovely to see you again. What brings you to our doorstep?" he asked.

"I am here to compete in the Princes' Challenge, Your Highness. I only arrived this afternoon, and have already been shown to a room. I was on a self-guided tour of the grounds, starting in the gardens. That's where Castiel found me and has since been graciously acting as my tour guide here in the marketplace," she explained.

With rapt attention, Castiel and Samuel watched the exchange between Dean and Lady Kira. Sam recalled what he and Dean had found out about her from Collins. After what he saw with Kira and Castiel in the marketplace, he was beginning to see why Dean was so captivated by the woman. Sam found himself wanting to know more about her.

"So, you've only seen the gardens and the marketplace so far?" Dean asked, to which she nodded. "I would be happy to step into the role of tour guide now, if you wish. It would be my honor," he finished.

"I deeply appreciate your kind offer, Your Highness. However, it was a long trip to get here, and I am feeling a bit tired at the moment. I had hoped to get some rest before joining everyone for dinner. Perhaps you and I could continue the tour another time, if I may request?" she asked.

Dean paused for a moment and his face broke into a genuine smile, one his brother hadn't seen grace his features in quite some time. "It would be my pleasure, Lady Kira," he said softly. "May I have the honor of escorting you back to the main hall of the castle?" Dean asked.

"The honor would be mine, Your Highness," she said as she curtsied. Dean offered her his arm, and when she gave him her hand, he kissed her knuckles before tucking it close to his side. A pink blush crossed her features, which made her all the more lovely, if that was even possible. As they made their way to the main hall, Castiel and Sam followed behind. This Princes' Challenge is certainly going to be interesting, Sam thought.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Where am I? Oh dear, this is definitely NOT the pub, this is someone's bedroom, the woman thought as she surveyed her surroundings. The last thing she remembered was that she was just about to pour a beer for someone, then she woke up here. Wherever "here" is, she thought.

She sat up in the bed, which turned out to be kind of a bad idea, as a wave of dizziness crashed over her. She groaned at the dull ache in her head and waited for the woozy feeling to pass. After it had, she swung her legs over the side of the bed and gingerly tested her ability to stand. Once she was satisfied that she wasn't going to fall over, she took a few tentative steps towards the door.

On the other side of the door, she heard male voices, three distinct ones, in fact. One sounded heartbroken, like he'd recently lost the love of his life. She felt a pang of sympathy for the man.

Another man was trying to comfort the first one, to assure him that whatever was going on, they could fix it. The third man had an authority to his voice, confident that a solution would be found to the first man's problem.

As she cracked the door open, all three voices simultaneously stopped and three heads swiveled in her direction. She quickly closed the door and ran back to sit on the bed, her knees drawn tightly up to her chest. The first man carefully opened the door to see who or what was on the other side. His eyes widened as he regarded the woman before him. "Kira?" he whispered.

Part 4 here!

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Tags: @janicho88 @akshi8278 @magssteenkamp @swiftlymoniquesblog @lyarr24 @miss-nerd95 @distefano123 @hobby27 @deanwanddamons @jessica-noel94 @wayward-mikaelson @jawritter @gabrielslittleangel @jensengirl83 @deangirl93 @ellewritesfix05 @supernatural-jackles

The Hunter’s Princess Series tags: @flamencodiva

[princesscatherinemiddleton]

My top 15 best royal (and royal adjacent!) wedding dresses

@lizisbackbackagain​ @claireofluxembourg​ @duchessofostergotlands​ @anna8910​ @queensonjas​

15. Alessandra de Osma (Reception Gown) (Unknown)

It doesn’t fit brilliantly and it’s a bit creased but I LOVE IT. The back. The way the straps go into that bow. It’s simple and sleek and the perfect tonic after her equally wonderful (but busier) ceremony dress.

14. Princess Charlene of Monaco (Giorgio Armani)

There are a lot of parts of this gown that I don’t like but Charlene is glowing. I actually love the off-shoulder look here and the simplicity of the veil complements the architecture of the dress. The only thing I would change would be the lace overlay.

13. Lady Kimberly Spencer-Churchill (Galvan)

This is a proper princess dress. The lace is stunning and it goes so well with the whimsical nature of the flowers in her hair. I really love the neckline and how it works with the lace, not in spite of it.

12. Lady Gabriella Windsor, Mrs Kingston (Reception Gown) (Luisa Beccaria)

This was such a good look. The neckline really flattered Ella and the silhouette was simple but perfect. I adore the caped-style back and the lace makes me so happy. It might be more suited to a casual beach wedding than a Windsor reception but I’ll take it. Also, her hair is gorgeous.

11. Princess Viktoria of Bourbon-Parma, Countess of Bardi (Claes Iverson)

THIS IS WHAT A SIMPLE WEDDING DRESS SHOULD BE LIKE. It’s simple. The structure of the dress is basic but allows for the beauty of the bride to shine through. There’s some detailing around the base which adds character. I’d like it to be slightly more fitted around the bust but beggars can’t be choosers.

10. Beatrice Borromeo (Reception Gown) (Giorgio Armani)

THE BEST MONACO SISTER/SISTER-IN-LAW WEDDING DRESS. If we rank the Casiraghi girl wedding dresses, all of Bea’s come out on top but this is the best of the best. The dress is so simply and manages to make Bea look like a Grecian goddess. Bea’s hair being pulled off her neck allows the top line of the dress to shine and the skirt and cape-like aspects are phenomenal.

9. The Duchess of Cambridge (Alexander McQueen)

THIS DRESS CHANGED MY LIFE. Before this wedding, if I’d even considered my wedding I’d planned a super simple affair, probably after eloping. Now, if I’m not getting married in Westminster Abbey, I’ll consider it a failure. This dress was the perfect princess dress. I love the lace and it kickstarted my love affair with lace sleeved wedding dress. The train wasn’t too long. The veil was simple but that lace trim made it special. But the crowning glory, along with those buttons, was that bustle. It was an art form.

8. Queen Sofia of Spain (Jean Dessès)

This whole look is gorgeous. I love the lace so much. I adore the shape of the dress and the lace takes it from good to great. The veil is even better. It completely elevates the dress from a good wedding dress to a truly phenomenal royal wedding dress.

7. Queen Jetsun Pema (Unknown prominent Bhutanese weavers)

Look! Colour! It’s a purely traditional Bhutanese kira and it’s stunning. I know Jetsun Pema is possibly the most beautiful person of all time but this dress would be stunning on a bin bag. I fully appreciate the fact she’s essentially wearing a giant regal tiara, providing proof she’s the new Queen of the Himalayas.

6. Hereditary Grand Duchess Stephanie of Luxembourg (Elie Saab)

Stephanie had so much potential. SO MUCH. She looked like a genuine princess. The amount of effort that went into this dress makes it worthy of a space by itself but I can’t get over how good it is. The train is the perfect length for a cathedral wedding. The lace embedded into the dress is beyond perfect. I really love the flow of the dress from bodice to train but the only reason it’s not higher up is the skirt. I just want it to start slightly higher. Please.

5. The Duchess of Sussex (Reception Gown) (Stella McCartney)

This is everything Meghan’s real wedding dress should have been. The halterneck was a phenomenal choice and it shows off Meg’s shoulders which, it turns out, are great. The simplicity of her hair just highlights the simple perfection of the dress. Everyone say “thank you Stella”.

4. Princess Grace of Monaco (Helen Rose)

I refuse to hear people saying this is Kate’s dress but better. It’s not better. It’s different. It’s mostly this high because it’s iconic and it changed wedding dresses across the board so massively. I love the lace, I love the veil, I love the tiara. Grace looks phenomenal and has the best wedding make up I’ve ever seen. I adore the neckline - the only collar on a wedding dress I will accept. I’m not a massive fan of the waist but if I had Grace’s waistline, I’d show it off too.

3. Ekaterina Malysheva (ALL) (Sandra Mansour)

EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE DRESSES IS PHENOMENAL. A TRUE WORK OF ART. I LOVE THEM ALL. Sandra interred with Elie Saab and you can tell, these are Elie Saab dresses if I’ve ever seen one. The pre-reception dress is a floral delight. The slight rose colouring, the flowers, Ekaterina’s hair... faultless. The actual wedding dress itself unmatchable. The detail in the lace. The buttons on the back. The shaping of the skirt. The tiara choice. Ekaterina deserved a televised wedding for this dress alone. And the final choice, the reception dress, strikes me as the wedding dress Ekaterina would have worn if she was going to become Mrs Hanover, not Princess of Hanover. It’s simple. It’s cute. I would wear it to Wimbledon.

2. Princess Claire of Luxembourg (Elie Saab)

I shocked myself when this wasn’t first. This is Elie Saab at his best. The amount of detail on this dress is indescribable. I literally can’t get over how stunning it is. The fact it photographs this well is a testament to Saab’s talent. Like Stephanie’s, this has a cathedral train if I’ve ever seen one. The veil was simple and a great choice against the detailed dress and she wore a floral tiara, which just set the whole thing off for me.

1. Princess Eugenie, Mrs Brooksbank (Peter Pilotto)

Is it because I have a scoliosis scar? Is it because it was so unexpected? Is it because the Greville Emerald Tiara looks like it was made for Eugenie of York? No one knows. This dress is art. The structuring of the dress s l a y s me and the open back is my favourite thing of all time. There’s a small bustle, a stunning train... this was a train made for those Windsor steps. The simplicity of the dress against the emerald tiara was an inspired choice. I love it.

[why-so-melxncholy-archived]

The Dark Crystal ask list ♥: 7,11,12,14,18,22,27

the dark crystal ask list - accepting!

7. Do you have any ocs? If so, say a few words about them! If not, make one on the spot (the more ridiculous, the better)!

I do have an OC! Her name is Jovi and this is her:

11. Three favorite romantic ships?

1. Jen and Kira. The OG OTP. The original soulmates. The BANE OF MY EXISTENCE. 

2. Rian and Mira. We got to see what Rian is really like. We got to see a playful, happy Rian and we were ROBBED. ROBBED!!! Mira was so cute and she and Rian were so happy,,, I want more. 

3. Kylan and Rian. OKAY THIS ISNT CANON but since I am Kylan x Rian trash, here we are. I love their dynamic. I love the fact that Kylan made up a song ON THE SPOT for Rian to help him grieve. I love the little screen time they share together in the show and sdkfjs I just love them okay they’re canon in my book. let me live in peace. 

12. Three favorite platonic/friendship ships?

The first: Kylan and Naia. I love their bond/dynamic so much and it’s PURELY platonic. There’s no evidence (that I know of) that Kylan has a crush on Naia at all and that’s what true friendship is made of folks. There’s no underlying wanting, no wanting something more. They are friends and that’s it. and we know kylan has a thing for vaprans so we see u kylan. we see u

Second: Kylan and Amri. Kylan is so SWEET and accommodates Amri when no one else does. He suggests they travel at night when Amri can see properly since the light hurts his eyes. He comforts him when he’s unsure of himself when he’s learning about the daylighter world. idk Kylan is so sweet and precious and we all need a friend like him. 

And third: Deet and Hup! Who says language is a barrier? I love the fact that Deet and Hup became friends despite Deet not being able to understand Hup’s language. Hup knows basic Gelfling, but Deet knows 0 Podling. I think that’s very wholesome and sweet, considering... it’s Deet. She’s the embodiment of wholesome and sweet. 

14. Three favorite theories or headcanons?

I’ll give you guys a little bit of my personal headcanons here since I RP Jen on my RP blog which you should totally follow for precious Jen content. Anyway!! 

The first one: Kylan is Jen’s father! I have my post here on why I think this is. 

The second: The song we hear Jen playing at the beginning of the movie is Kylan’s swan song p much. One of my RP partners and I constructed a theory/HC that Kylan kept the Garthim at bay with his firca so the mystics could rescue Jen with this song, since the firca could immobilize arathim. Kylan used his last breaths to make sure Jen was safe. Jen remembers this song and plays it often. 

The third: I saw some theory floating around saying that Jen is actually Rian’s little brother, Timtri. I don’t follow this theory bc it contradicts my Kylan being Jen’s father theory but it is interesting! 

18. Most misunderstood character? Most overrated?

You know what. I’m gonna say it. Tolyn is so misunderstood... He was just trying to stay loyal no matter the cost. He was trying to be a good soldier. A good castle guard. He was doing his job!! And if you read this far you’ll know I’m kidding, fuck that guy. 

As far as most overrated? idk I think the Skeksis as a whole. And I say this because almost every single piece of merch I’ve seen has the Skeksis on it like they’re the main characters. Give me some Gelfling merch! (Kylan merch plz thanks)

22. What adjective would Aughra call you (example: loyal Seladon)?

Ummm probably “Just Allison” like how she didn’t give Gurjin a title.

27. If you were a Gelfling, what would be your ideal occupation?

I’d probably be a crafter of some sort. Making trinkets and things to sell or something. 

[one-leaf-grimoire]

Illusion (chapter 5)

Grey Deer Fic chapter 5! Here’s the link to the full story: link.

As you can see, I changed the name bc I wasn’t vibing with the other one.

WARNING: slight implication of *Sex* (but not with Julius, unfortunately...)

As always, I would really love to hear what you think of this chapter!

"Captain, do you have a minute-"

I stop talking as soon as I poke my head into Captain Hervey's office. It's a sizable room, with rich wood paneling and blue wallpaper making it seem cozy. Several stuffed deer heads are hanging above the severe man's desk, where he sits across from his vice captains. Both Malota and Julius turn around to look at me; obviously I'm interrupting a meeting. "A-Ah, sorry, I'll come back later-"

"Nonsense, spit it out. But make it quick." Hervey gestures me closer, and I gulp and enter the room, a paper clutched in my hands. "What's that?"

This is always a little awkward, even though I've given several of these requests to him over the years. But it's his fault for having the "only registered guests only" rule for our base. "Lawrence wants to come visit tomorrow, can I get your approval?"

Hervey lets out a snort of laughter. "Your fiance? He was here pretty recently, wasn't he? Why do you keep inviting him here, just go visit him yourself."

"Ah, well, he insists. I can't really say no to him..."

But you can, sir. I watch as he takes the paper and looks at it carefully, as if he's making up his mind. Meanwhile, I'm praying that he says NO so I have a good reason to avoid seeing Lawrence tomorrow. Malota looks bored and lets a sigh out through her vulture-like nose. Julius stares at the Captain's table silently. Another reason why I wanted to avoid asking in front of other people is because it becomes awkward like this. Neither of our Vice Captains want to hear about my personal life, I'm sure. 

"Very well. But he better be gone by dinner time, I'm not feeding him, even if he is a prince!"

Fuck! I force a smile as he signs the paper, a magical chill moving through the room as he does so. Somehow, Hervey can manipulate the barrier spell he cast around the base to let authorized guests enter after he signs off on it. His ice magic is some of the most powerful I've ever seen, and he's able to upkeep such a potent spell all day and night, subconsciously. He really is amazing, despite his faults, and it's easy to see why he's captain. "Thank you, sir, sorry for interrupting." With that, I turn and shuffle out of the room, feeling a small weight of dread in the pit of my stomach.

Why, though? Why are you dreading this? Lawrence is your Fiance, your future Husband! Shouldn't you be happy to see him?

That's probably what you're thinking, but it couldn't be farther from the truth. I tolerate Lawrence Kira, and that's all. He's 5 years older than me, always acts like he's my superior (which he is, but come on!), and really isn't the most considerate person. He always talks about how great things are expected of him, and how he needs a supportive wife to help him achieve those things and continue the Kira line. "One day." he always tells me. "One day, our children could be the King. Wouldn't you like that?"

No... Not really, actually.

But I can't tell him that. If I show any disrespect, he'll bring the hammer down, on both me and my parents. We're already on thin ice, and this marriage is supposed to save my family. When the engagement was first decided, I was only 5 years old and had no idea what it even meant. As I grew older, I was told how romantic it was going to be. Doesn't every girl want to marry a prince? I was excited to live out what seemed like a fairy tale.

Unfortunately, that wasn't the case. It soon became clear that Lawrence would never actually love me. At least not all of me. Not only that, but like I said, he's older than me, and as we spent more and more time together, he started to force me to grow up a bit faster than I should have. I'm sure you can guess what I mean. 

If I didn't have Alice, I don't know what I would have done. But when I came to her and revealed that I didn't want to marry this prince, she didn't shun me or say I was crazy. She held me, and told me that we were going to get out of this, together. And so, I joined the magic knights, as the first step of my plan. The wedding that was supposed to be when I turned 18 was postponed. Luckily, the Magic Knights are a very esteemed and legitimate career path for both Royalty and nobility, so I was able to get away with it. Lawrence's family even said they were proud that their son would be marrying a magic knight.

Well... it's been 7 years since then. There's no plans for a wedding yet. This engagement can only go on so long before Lawrence decides to break it off. By that time, I'll be able to support my family myself! I don't need a marriage, and I'll finally be free to do what I want.

That's my secret, the secret only Alice and I know. My one hope for tomorrow is that Lawrence will coldly tell me that he can't wait around any longer, and will break it off right then and there.

Of course, it's never that easy.

"Hello, Lawrence."

I stand outside the base to meet him as he transports in with the help of a spatial mage. He brushes himself off before looking up, his grey eyes quickly meeting mine. Unintentionally, I feel a cold chill down my back, something that's always happened when he looks at me like that. "It's been too long, have you really been that busy?" Lawrence asks as he walks over, pulling his cloak a little tighter around himself. The snow has long melted, but its freeze still hangs lightly in the air around us.

"Er, yes, pretty busy." I let him take my hand and pull it up to his lips, not bothering to bend over. A royal shouldn't bow to anyone, after all. His lips are cold on my skin as he kisses the back of my hand, before dropping it immediately. "I actually had a pretty big mission a few days ago, I was able to beat five guys-"

"Yeah, I'm sure. You can tell it to me over lunch." Lawrence dismisses my story kind of quickly before turning to walk towards the base. I wince and hold out a hand to stop him. "Uh-er, we can't eat here!"

"Hmm? Why not?" Lawrence throws a glance over his shoulder.

"Captain Hervey said, uh... we can't spare food right now for outsiders."

"Hmph. Fine. We'll eat in town." Lawrence sighs and turns to walk back to me, grabbing my hand as he does. "Also, what did I tell you about using filler words? Stop saying um and er so much."

"R-right, sorry." I let him pull me along, away from the base.

"Man... are they really in love?" 

Giles leans on the windowsill as the others gather around him, peeping down at me and Lawrence as we walk off out of sight. "Every time he comes, she looks like she'd rather be somewhere else."

"It's true," Alice pipes up, leaning against the wall and not bothering to look. "He's a real piece of work, you know."

"How can that be? He's a prince." Elia crosses her arms. "Who wouldn't want to marry a prince?"

"She just wants to live a normal life, I think. She's not cut out for that royalty stuff anyway."

"Nigel, shut up."

Meanwhile, Lawrence and I reach town and make our way towards my favorite resteraunt there. "There's really no other place to eat?" Lawrence asks, pulling his hood up over his head, his eyes darting around the street.

"It's my favorite! I think you'll like it, too." I squeeze his hand, causing him to smile for a moment. "You're afraid of being recognized."

"Yeah... I have a pretty big fanclub you know!"

... I doubt that...

Our base is located in a forest right outside the limits of the noble realm. We're close enough to town so we can get all of our supplies, but secluded enough that Captain Hervey is able to put up our barrier. It honestly feels like a little sanctuary for the squad, but I still like going in to town to see the usual hustle-and-bustle of civilization.

"You know, this type of place does have a little charm." Lawrence talks to me as he quietly sips his beer. His eyes keep darting around the restaurant, as if he were analyzing everything in sight. He's always been like that, cool and calculated, always scheming or sizing the world up. He's really an intelligent man, someone who can keep a level head in any situation. His magic is very strong, too, and it's interesting that he never joined the Magic Knights. When I asked him why a long time ago, he simply said that it wasn't his style. I have a feeling he'd rather be involved in the government down the line.

"I'm glad you think so. I guess not all Royals are so stuffy," I answer, playfully nudging his foot under the table. Lawrence narrows his eyes at me but can't conceal his smile. Ah! I need to stop being so cute around him, remember?

"I'm not that stuffy, am I? I can have fun... what do you and the squad do for fun, anyway?" Lawrence yawns a little, scratching his chin under his hood.

"Hmm..." I think over the past for a moment. "Well, we have little parties in our base now and then. Oh, also, the Captain lets us go to the beach on our days off! We also like to come to town to go drinking some nights."

"Ah... that sounds like fun. A little crude, but fun." Lawrence nods along with my words. "Maybe I'll take you to the beach sometime, just the two of us."

Just the two of us.

"...yeah, sure."

By the time lunch is done, it's obvious to me that Lawrence isn't about to break up with me or anything. In fact, I've somehow managed to warm him back up to me after more than a month of absence, and now...

"Let's go back to the base."

"Huh? Er- Lawrence, I told you before-"

"Stop saying ER! And I don't want to eat. Is your roommate around?"

"...probably not..."

"Good."

This is my least favorite part of his visits. Lawrence hates showing affection out in public, but as soon as we're alone and away from prying eyes, he basically pounces on me. I can't really do much but hold on as his lips crash into mine hungrily. We were each other's first kisses, but I'm pretty sure he's pretty good at it. The way he moves his lips against mine always makes me dizzy, at least. He pushes me until we're both flat on my twin bed, one of his hands bunching up the sheets next to my head. The biggest drawback of avoiding him for so long is that he gets... needy. 

However, his affection doesn't last long. As soon as he's done, Lawrence simply pulls the covers over me and gets up. I roll over, feeling a bit sore, and watch as he starts to re-dress himself. "You're leaving?"

"Yeah." Lawrence buttons up his shirt, his fingers fumbling slightly. "I assume I'm not allowed to stay for dinner." He sits back down on the bed to start pulling his shoes and socks on. "I'll come back to visit soon, don't avoid me any more, you hear?"

"...yeah. No guarantees, though." I gulp nervously, pulling the covers over myself more as he looks down at me again. "I'm a magic knight, you know! I have a duty-"

"Your duty should be our future," Lawrence cuts me off, his gaze moving away from me again. "...do you really feel like this is where you belong?"

I open my mouth to respond the answer that I always do: Yes, of course. I'm meant to be a magic knight! 

But... I can't say that any more, can I?

Because, for whatever reason, someone on my very own squad wanted me gone.

"Hey... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry."

I didn't even notice the tears trailing down my face until Lawrence reaches out to cup my cheek gently. I look up into his grey eyes, which are filled with warmth, for once. But I still get that chill.

"If something's bothering you... you know where to find me, okay? You're going to be my wife one day, hopefully soon. We can put all this Magic Knights business behind you, but you'll always carry that honor. I'll take care of you, I promise."

... "Alright." I nod slowly, reaching up to hold his hand for a second before he pulls it away. "Write me some letters."

"I will. See you soon!"

Lawrence gives me a small smile and a wave, before quietly leaving me alone in my room once again.

I stay there for a while, curling up under my sheets like a cocoon. For just a couple minutes, I feel safe.

Lawrence really isn't so bad, is he? I mean... at least I know what he wants. My attackers won't show themselves again, not yet, and they won't tell me why they want me gone. Maybe... maybe I should just listen to them, and leave...

No. That's stupid. I squeeze my eyes shut as memories start to flood back.

I can't leave... because then I'll marry Lawrence. I don't want to be near him at all! Slowly, I sit up, letting the sheets fall off my body as the more pleasant chill of the base hits my skin. I'll find out who attacked me, and purge them from this squad! I'm meant to be here, I'm meant to be a magic knight.

Eventually, I get up to get dressed, cleaning myself off before heading to the bathroom. I splash some water on my face before looking up at my reflection. I look tired and a little stressed out... but alive.

"Hello there! Enjoy your day off?"

I'm on my way down to dinner when I run into none other than Julius. I haven't seen him all day, not since yesterday's meeting, but he's heading the same way as me now. "Ah, yeah. I haven't seen my fiance in a while, so it was nice to have lunch with him."

"Your fiance? Oh, right, Prince Lawrence." Julius nods as he falls into step next to me. I glance up at the taller man, not able to read any emotion other than his usual neutrally-happy expression. Even so, his presence puts me at ease, although I doubt anyone would attack me now while everyone is awake in the base. "Is the wedding happening soon?"

"Oh, definitely not. We haven't even started planning it!" I smirk a little. And if I have my way... it won't ever be planned!

"I see... I guess, eventually, you're going to outrank us all."

"Huh?" I look up to see him smiling teasingly down at me. 

"You'll be a princess, right?"

"P-Princess?" My eyes widen as I realize that he's right. Then, I shake my head. "Ah! I don't even want to think about that..."

"Why not?"

"Too much pressure?"

"Ah, well, I think it suits you."

I look back up at him, aghast, just in time to catch his wink. "Hey! Jul- I mean, sir, that's a long way in the future-"

"Julius is fine-" He lets out a warm laugh before gesturing for me to keep up with him. "Come on... a princess can't be late for dinner."

..... AHHHHHH.

I swallow my pride and quickly catch up, pouting a bit to myself. Princess... I can't even imagine becoming royalty. And I don't want to! I'll never be a princess, not if I have anything to say about it.

Slowly, though, I feel my cheeks heat up, and it takes everything I have to keep from glancing back up at Julius's face.

Still...

It didn't sound so bad when he called me that...

[ellewritesathing]

So Close - S.S. XXI

Summary: The universe has a funny way of putting the things you want right in front of you, but just out of reach. Stiles and Y/N have been best friends ever since Scott brought him home, but when Stiles realizes that he might want to be something other than best friends, she leaves to go to some fancy private school up North. Now that she’s back though … maybe he’s got a shot? A Teen Wolf AU in which the reader has always been so close to Stiles and yet so far.

Prologue - S2E1 Part 1 - S2E2 + S2E3 Part 2 - S2E4 + S2E5 + S2E6 Part 3 -  S2E7 +S2E8 Part 4 - S2E9 + S2E10 Part 5 - S2E11 + S2E12 Part 6 Part 7 - S3AE1 Part 8 - S3AE2 + S3AE3 Part 9 - S3AE4 Part 10 - S3AE5 + S3AE6 Part 11 - S3AE7 + S3AE8 Part 12 - S3AE9 + S3AE10 + S3AE11 Part 13 - S3AE11 + S3AE12 Part 14 Part 15 - S3BE1 + S3BE2 Part 16 - S3BE3 + S3BE4 Part 17 - S3BE5 + S3BE6 Part 18 - S3BE7 + S3BE8 + S3BE9 Part 19 -  S3BE10 +  S3BE11 Part 20 -  S3BE11 +  S3BE12 Part 21

Word-count: 2.3k+

A/N: guess who got enough time away from their family to edit!! this girl!! anyway i know i ended the last part off with Angst so i wanted to give you guys something a little less sad. happy holidays guys!!  💕

You weren’t sure how long you’d been driving around Beacon Hills and drinking far too much coffee while you did, but when the empty fuel tank warning lit up you had a feeling you had to stop sometime soon. Luckily, you were close enough to the Hales to make a U-turn and stop at the loft. You dashed up the stairs and started banging on the door, waiting for someone to answer. 

When they did, they had to dodge your closed fist. “Woah, Jesus. That was really close to my face,” Isaac complained. He looked tired and confused but that melted away when he saw the tears streaked down your face. “Hey, what’s wrong? You alright?”

You stepped past him and into the loft, taking deep breaths as you ran shaky hands through your hair. You were pacing while you tried to calm down. “Stiles slept with Malia,” you said after a minute. No reason to sugarcoat it.

“I’ll kill him.” Isaac’s steely resolve as he spoke made you laugh, which only served to make him more concerned as you walked over and pulled him into a hug. “No, Y/N, I’m not joking. He’s a dead man. Seriously. Say the word and I’ll-”

You didn’t see Cora come in, but you heard her grumpy voice as she asked, “What the hell are you two doing?” 

When you looked up, you found her in the pajamas that you’d loaned her when she first came to stay with you. The longer you were here, the more the Hales chipped away at your anger. “I-” 

“Stiles cheated on her,” Isaac interrupted, still clearly annoyed. 

Cora didn’t look tired anymore; in that instant, she looked furious. “I’ll kill him. Isaac, come on, I-”

“No, okay?” you interrupted. “I love you guys but, seriously, what is with you and killing Stiles?” 

Isaac started sputtering an explanation about how he was just looking out for you and Cora rolled her eyes and mumbled something to the effect of’ if he wasn’t such a dumbass then she wouldn’t have to threaten him so much’ when you heard Derek. It made you cut your laugh short. 

“Why is it that every time I wake up in the middle of the night, the three of you are always involved?” Derek asked, walking slowly into the living room. 

“Because Y/N is having a personal crisis,” Isaac explained, looking tired again. 

Derek raised an eyebrow and you held out a hand to placate him. “It’s not a personal crisis,” you said. “It’s just-”

“I’m gonna kill Stilinski,” he mumbled, rubbing his temples. 

“No!” you whined. You heard laughter behind you and turned to find Isaac and Cora hiding behind their hands. Derek was smiling when you faced him again. It made you laugh and hold your head in your hands.

“So are you going to tell us what happened or should I just make up a bed?” Cora asked after a few moments. 

“Uh, honestly, I don’t know what happened. It happened when they were at Eichen House,” you started. “He wouldn't have told me if she didn’t literally try to sleep with me while-” 

“Wait, what?” Isaac asked. 

“This is a little out of my league,” Derek said before you could explain. “I’ll get started on that bed while you guys ... sort this out.”

You squeezed his shoulder on his way out before settling down on the couch with Isaac and Cora. You told them about everything, pouring your heart out about every Stiles Stilinski interaction you’d had since you met.

--

Despite spending all your time at the loft over the past week or so and helping them pack, you still didn’t think they’d go through with their plan to take time off in South America. Even as you stood at the back of the group as everyone said their goodbyes and Derek loaded up the car, you hoped they’d change their minds. 

Scott had already said his goodbyes and promised them their spots in the pack when they came back. Lydia was surprisingly upset as she said goodbye, you guessed all that time spent tutoring Cora amounted to a pretty strong friendship. Stiles hugged both of them goodbye. And then it was your turn, and there was no getting out of it. 

“So you guys are really going?” you asked. You could hear the tears in your voice and you knew they could too. 

Cora nodded, still uncomfortable about talking about her feelings. “Peter said I can’t talk to Malia and I can’t do that if I stay here. She’s my family. So I need to take some time until she’s ready to be mine.” 

You nodded. “Yeah, that, uh- that makes sense. And Isaac’s always wanted to travel so …” you gave him a small smile before turning back to Cora. “You’ll take care of him for me, okay?” 

Cora looked like she was about to say something but decided against it. Instead, she pulled you into an unexpectedly tight hug. “Thank you. For helping me and making me feel … normal again.”

You were about to tell her that you should be thanking her when a pair of long, lanky arms wrapped around the two of you. “Isaac, what are you doing?” you laughed. 

“It’s a group hug,” he said. “And you better enjoy it because it’s the only one you’re getting.” 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m enjoying it! Shut up,” you teased. Before you knew it, the three of you were pulling away, but you held onto their hands as you exchanged some heavy looks. “I love you guys. Be safe, okay?” 

Isaac smiled and squeezed your hand. “We love you, too.” 

You gave them one last smile before turning and taking a deep breath. Your eyes fell on a very sad looking Derek Hale. You nudged his arm as you made your way over. “You’re looking more mopey than usual,” you said with a small smile. “Does that mean you’re going to miss me?” 

He laughed and shook his head. “As hard as it may be to believe … yeah. I am.” 

“Wait, seriously?” you asked. You weren’t surprised that he’d miss you, but you were surprised he admitted it. “Derek, that’s so sweet.” 

“Yeah, well it’s not going to be so sweet if you throw another party in my loft,” he said, voice getting a little tenser. 

“Come on, that wasn’t even my party!” You shoved him in the arm. “You can’t still be mad about that.” 

“Do you have any idea how badly body paint stains flooring?” he asked, ignoring your shove. “Besides, you were there and that’s enough to-”

“So were about a hundred other kids. Including these dummies and Cora and Isaac, in case you forgot.” You pointed a finger at the group and Derek laughed again. It made you ease up. You bumped his arm lightly with your elbow.  “I’m gonna miss you, too, by the way. You’re like the big brother I never had.” 

“Hey!” you heard Scott whine and waved him off. 

“Thanks,” he smiled. “It means a lot.” 

Despite your better judgment telling you not to, you pulled him into a hug. When you made it clear that you weren’t letting go until he hugged you back, he put an unsure arm around your shoulders. 

“There,” you said as you pulled away. “I don’t know why it’s so hard for you Hales to admit you like being hugged.” 

“Did you ever think maybe it’s because we don’t like being hugged?” he asked. 

“No, that’s not it,” you said very seriously. You broke into a smile. “Now get out of here before I do something stupid like go with you.”

---

Christmas was one of your favorite holidays, but it was hard to get into the celebrating mood when two of your best friends were in another country, one of them was dead, and another was dating the girl that he’d sworn he didn’t have feelings for. And to make you even more annoyed, Scott and Kira were being adorable and awkward. 

When she bumped into him under the mistletoe and blushed before a quick peck on the lips, you rolled your eyes and downed whatever was left of your drink. They were so sweet together, but they didn’t know how to admit their feelings and it was driving you insane.

“Woah, easy there, sweetheart,” Lydia teased next to you. “People might think you’re not enjoying the holiday festivities.” 

You pulled a face at her and she laughed before pulling you into a hug. The new angle gave you a clear view of Malia trying to figure out where she wanted to hang one of the decorations you’d made as a kid. You knew your anger towards her was unfair - and you did, grudgingly, like her - but it added to the list of reasons why you didn’t want to be here. 

“I’m going to get something to drink,” you said and untangled yourself from Lydia so you could get to your feet. You turned around to ask her something as you walked, but the words fell short when you bumped into someone. “I’m so sorry, I-” 

Stiles smiled down at you, seeming a little embarrassed. “Yeah, no worries. I wasn’t looking where I was going so …” 

This was the closest you’d been to each other since that night. Was he blushing? Were you? 

“Right. Well, anyway,” you said slowly as you started moving around him. You stopped when you heard Malia start talking. 

“Well, aren’t you guys gonna kiss?” she asked. She must have picked up on your shock and horror because she pointed to the ceiling above you. “Mistletoe. Scott and Kira had to do it.” 

“Uh, that’s different,” Stiles said awkwardly, holding out a hand to make his point. 

“How?” she asked as she folded her hands over her chest. 

“Because Scott isn’t dating someone,” you said. Seriously, you got that she was a coyote for like a decade, but hadn’t she seen a single Christmas movie since being human again?

“But Stiles is-” Malia started. 

“Malia, just drop it, okay?” Stiles said behind you. “This doesn’t have to be a big-” 

It was hard not to notice everyone staring at you. “Fine, you know what?” you sighed, cutting Stiles off. You turned to face him and placed your hands on either side of his face before reaching up and kissing him. You’d be lying if you said it didn’t make you feel anything, but it did soften your anger slightly. “There. Now I’m gonna go get something to drink.”

You pulled your hands back to your sides and rushed off to the kitchen to gather yourself. So what if you still had feelings for Stiles? He was dating Malia and he seemed genuinely happy for the first time since he was eight. There was nothing for you to do except to just get over-

“Hey.” You felt Lydia put a hand on the small of your back while you were digging in the fridge. “You wanna get out of here for a little while? We’re out of cranberries so I thought we could do a grocery run. Kira’s already in the car.” 

“Yeah,” you said softly. “Yeah, that would be great.” 

The two of you walked out hand in hand while you avoided eye contact and Lydia told everyone where you were going. The drive was quiet and you just focused on not being such a headcase, but it was easier once the three of you were walking around the grocery store. 

“-And it’s not like I’m mad at him for being happy,” you continued, “It’s just that he didn’t tell me about her and then insisted there was nothing going on and now-” 

“Is this how it felt when Allison and I talked about Scott and Jackson?” Lydia interrupted. She gave you a teasing smile when you pushed her arm. 

“I mean, I get all that - I do,” Kira started. “But can’t you just talk to him about it? If it bothers you so much.” 

“Okay, no. I couldn’t do that because I had literally just watched another one of my friends die. I was upset and he was still recovering from being possessed,” you said. A toddler looked at you and you smiled and turned around quickly. “I thought we were just taking a break until the time was right.” 

“But isn’t there always something wrong? With the timing, I mean,” Kira asked. 

“Well … yeah,” you said, crossing your arms over your chest. 

“Then doesn’t that mean that you should’ve talked to him anyway?” 

“Yeah, I know that now! But it doesn’t change anything.” You shook your head. “I’ve been in love with Stiles basically since I realized what love was. But we don’t talk about it. Ever. And now I can’t just upend his happiness because of how I feel. That’s not how we do things.” 

“Oh, uh-” Kira looked over at Lydia and Lydia shrugged in response. “Okay.” 

You sighed and grabbed another bag of chips for the movie night you guys had planned. “I’m sorry. I know I sound crazy. It’s just- Cora and Isaac are gone and they’re usually the ones that talk me through the crazy. And if they’re not around, then it’s Allison. And Allison is …” you broke off and took a breath. “Anyway, I just- I appreciate you listening to me.” 

“It’s what friends are for,” Lydia said with a small smile. “Now, do you think we need more eggnog?” 

“Oh, yeah. Definitely,” Kira smiled. She bumped your arm before going off to find more supplies. 

Before you knew it, you were alone in the junk food aisle, staring at a pack of Reese’s cups and reaching up to where your necklace used to hang around your neck. The movement was so instinctive that you didn’t realize you were reaching for Stiles’ necklace until your hand got to where the ring should have been and found nothing but ugly Christmas sweater.

Part 22

[detectivehoward]

cophine fanfic rec list <3

With quarantine in place, I feel inspired to create a fanfic rec list for my favorite ship Cophine (Cosima Niehaus & Delphine Cormier from one of the most amazing TV shows: “Orphan Black”). Quick searches of “_ fanfic rec lists” on Google and Tumblr are what started my reading of fanfiction... so hopefully – if someone ever goes down my “fanfic journey” – they’ll find this fanfic rec list.

*note: list is not constructed in any particular order (e.g. most favorite to least)

**summaries provided are the ones written by the author. i will try to add my own summaries if there wasn’t one (already) provided. overall, thank you to the authors for blessing us, readers, for everything.

1. I’m not French, I’m Jealous. By TB80. 

Summary: Cosima is traveling the globe with the love of her life, and things have never been better. Everything is perfect. Everything except for two simple sentences that won't stop haunting Cosima's thoughts."I'm French. We enjoy lovers."

2. Daylight Savings Time. By KaydenVayne.

Summary: Cosima never used to be a morning person, but perhaps the shift from night owl to early bird is proving to be more problematic than Delphine originally anticipated. A bit of domestic Cophine fluff written for the prompt "things you said at the kitchen table."

3. grey’s anatomy’s got nothing on us. By BeggarWhoRides.

Summary: “Hey,” Xinyi hisses from her bunk, when Harper is just starting to teeter over the edge into sleep. “I’ll bet you fifty bucks they’re having hate-sex." Or, five times surgical interns Harper Rowe and Xinyi Zhou tried to figure out the relationship between Dr. Cormier and Dr. Niehaus, and one time they knew exactly what it was.

4. Dance Me To the End of Love. By SonnectCXVI.

Summary: A series of vignettes about Cosima and Delphine in a loving, long-term relationship.

*one of my favorites. so beautifully written.

5. Nothing Gold Can Stay. By SonnetCXVI.

Summary: Delphine ponders photographs of Shay and Cosima.

6. Heartbreak Even. By jaybear1701, OBFrankenfics, & tatarrific.

Summary: Cosima and Delphine in the aftermath of 3x01. A Cophine spec fic based on various OBS3 spoilers.

*one of my all-time favorites. i re-read this one all the time.

7. Before (a series). By Celine1618.

Description: A collection of related works loosely based on the Before trilogy (Before Sunrise, Before Sunset, and Before Midnight).

8. Delphine’s Descent. By gigi2690.

Summary: “I wasn’t supposed to fall for you, but I did.” ~Six vignettes telling the story of how Delphine Fell.

9. Continuing Travels of Cophine (a series). By ce_ucumatli.

Description: Post-season 5, Cophine Adventures.

*a fandom favorite

10. Like Real People Do. By backtoblack101.

Summary: Cosima ends her relationship after she finds out Delphine knew the stem cells were from Kira's tooth. Both women realise they can't live without the other, though it takes both of them a very long time to admit it.

*another one of my all-time favorites .. guess i like angst ha

11. Passengers. By zolawinters.

Summary: COPHINE VERSION OF THE FILM PASSANGERS (2016) - On a routine journey through space to a new home, Cosima, sleeping in suspended animation, is awakened 90 years too early when the ship malfunctions. After a year of being alone Cosima makes a drastic decision, and Delphine awakens. As Cosima and Delphine face living the rest of their lives on board, with every luxury they could ever ask for, they begin to fall for each other, unable to deny their intense attraction, until they discover the ship is in grave danger. With the lives of 5,000 sleeping passengers at stake, can Cosima and Delphine can save them all.

12. The Martians. By TB80.

Summary: Cosima Niehaus had dreamed about going to Mars her entire life. Due to a freak sand storm, she ends up getting more than she bargained for. Getting stranded on Mars alone would be hell, but getting stranded with Delphine may just be the best thing that ever happened to her. Cophine AU based on the movie The Martian.

13. Love Match. By Mondax.

Summary: Multi-chapter AU: A series of last minute, happy accidents causes Cosima – an underrated and underachieving professional tennis player, and Delphine – an up-and-coming actress, to cross paths. Intrigued with each other from the get-go, would they be willing to complicate their already busy and accomplished lives with love? You don’t need to get tennis to read this story.

14. The Webs We Weave. By fembuck.

Summary: A look at what was going on in Delphine’s head during the scene where her secrets are revealed by Cosima.

15. A Beautiful Surrender. By jaybear1701.

Summary: A recovered Cosima travels to Africa to join a DYAD research expedition and meets a beautiful, but haunted MSF doctor in need of some cheering up. Canon-ish AU mildly influenced by Evelyne Brochu's film Inch'Allah.

16. into the night with me. By LtTanyaBoone.

Summary: Cosima'd figured that perhaps she could offer Dyad a trade. She's a scientist, after all. Her natural curiosity, her penchant for science and learning, along with being immortal, it's helped her gain quite some knowledge in her lifetime. She'd figured that perhaps the Institute would be interested in hiring her. aka rewrite/expansion of the vampire!AU of Every Me and Every You

17. Noise Complaints. By hellafitzgerald.

Summary: Delphine gets a noise complaint from a new neighbour. Good things result. Who even knows how this happened. First I was writing cute fluff about Delphine hearing Cosima sing in her kitchen and then there was smut. *shrugs*

18. Who Do You Love. By ghostriverunicorn (formerly known as otp424B21).

Summary: This takes place after 03×06. Cosima wakes up in the middle of the night and needs solitude, but what she finds is what she really needs.

*i love this piece of writing. love.

19. In Vino Veritas. By skivvery.

Summary: "No one gave her much credit for anything, but if there was one thing Delphine Cormier could claim for herself (and there were several, truly, though she was humble enough not to brag – when sober), it was willpower."

20. Holiday Strife. By anonymouscophine.

Summary: Requested: Domestic AU: Having to put up holiday decorations together after a big fight. Rated T

21. something always brings me back to you. By wingardiumleviosa111.

Summary: Three weeks and two days after Delphine breaks up with her, Cosima finds herself caught up in a furry sweater that smells like Delphine, the remnants of an Eskimo Pie still dotting her lips.

22. burned but not buried. By sharkfights (feartown).

Summary: Delphine is never going to look in the mirror and see Rachel. set s3.

23. 23 feels (23 Flavours, and Then Some). By trylonandperisphere.

Summary: Okay, here's my entry for the "23 emotions people feel, but can’t explain" challenge. What can I say? I'm totally mired in the save Delphine/cophine feels of late.

24. wedding planner AU (a one-shot from “Every Me and Every You”). By LtTanyaBoone.

25. coffee shop AU (a one-shot from “Every Me and Every You”). By LtTanyaBoone.

26. Corresponding Shapes (Like Puzzle Pieces From The Clay). By novel_concept26.

Summary: Soulmate: (n.) A person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner. An anthology of unconnected AU environments, as prompted by various souls on Tumblr.

27. (If You’re) Going My Way. By geekmonkeyramblings.

Summary: Cophine Hitchhiker AU: Great things (and people) can turn up in unexpected places - like, for example, on the side of the road, holding a sign that reads “San Fran or Bust.” Delphine is not at all the type to give a stranger a ride, but there’s something about Cosima that she just can’t resist. What are the odds that a random hitchhiker could have such a profound effect on her life in a single day?

28. Business & Pleasure. By mveloc.

Summary: Some gratuitous Cophine porn without (or with very minor) plot.

29. Le Fil. By Dangereux.

Summary: Inspired by another fabulous prompt from thetravelingkid: "Delphine is an important person at a party, and Cosima is the bartender who hits on her with no idea who she is."

30. Any Other Time. By VillageVoice.

Summary: Non-clone AU. Cosima, after going through a nasty break-up and an aggressive auto immune disease, decides to take a “sabbatical”

*** if any of the links are not working or are incorrect (i.e. goes to the wrong fanfic), let me know! also, i’ll be updating this list (or at least trying to) whenever i find a new, lovely fic.

[restinpeacesensei]

pattern

(inspired by xxxholic art style)

[lovehugsandcandy]

kiss me heavy heavy ('cuz you know we ain’t done yet) (Colt x MC, RoD) 

A/N: Title (and more herein) is a riff from Here with Me by Elina. For Choices September Challenge, Day 27 (barely made it whew), and the prompt was Family.

Pairing: Colt x MC, references to past Logan x MC

Rating: R (swearing, injuries, suggestiveness, drinking in excess and being furiously hungover)

Length: ~13,000 words (way way way too long and I apologize)

Summary: Ellie and Colt’s family breaks apart; Ellie and Colt’s family comes together.

When Colt broke his arm, he was 7. He had figured out how to work the lift in the shop. He had figured out when everyone went to lunch. And he had figured out how to fly, how to leap from heights and love the weightlessness in his stomach as his legs kicked out into thin air. But he had not yet figured out how to climb a hydraulic lift. When he fell, instead of the graceful landing he was expecting, he slammed into the harsh concrete, nowhere near as forgiving as the clear water of the Pacific. He shattered his ulna but, even worse, it was the start of the arguments between his parents about his trips to the cliff with his dad. Those trips became less frequent, the screaming fights became more, and then they moved, far from the shop and the cliff and the concrete floor that earned him his first cast.

When Ellie broke her arm, she was 12. She was scared; she had never been in a car accident before and the shattering of glass and sudden sharp pain made her cry, heaping sobs that her mom wiped from her face with careful hands while the paramedics poked and prodded. She was even more scared after, when the trip to the hospital revealed something was seriously wrong with her mother, and terrified for the following year, until it was only her and her dad and his fear of the entire world.

When their daughter broke her arm, she had just turned 5 and it was the end of the end and the beginning of the beginning.

~~~~~

"Please, Logan. I wouldn't ask if it weren't important. "

She heard his heavy sigh over the phone. "I can move things around. I'll be there. But Ellie?"

"Yeah?"

Logan's cautious tone interrupted her internal fist bump. "Why is this so important?"

"Because...because Colt asked if he could bring someone."

"Ellie..."

"I just..." She dropped her eyes, darting through the crowd, phone pressed to her ear so hard she thought she was getting a headache. But maybe it was this whole situation making her jaw tense and temples throb. "I just....I don’t want to go alone while he’s there with a new girlfriend."

"There is no way in hell Colt has a girlfriend."

"He asked if we needed tickets for a freaking dance recital." She thought back to the awkward conversation, stilted and strange, when she was distracted in her kitchen and he was miles across town, always too far. 

“I thought we actually did need tickets?”

“Not because it’s gonna sell out!” Ellie had to stop talking with her hands, her flailing accidentally hitting the person next to her. She mouthed an apology to the dour woman to her left and walked faster. “Because it’s a money-making racket where they want you to pay for a ticket and the photos and a freaking video of the thing.”

“This is sounding less appealing by the second.”

"Logan, please? He said he wanted to bring someone and I don’t think I can-” She bit her lip, thinking. It had taken them an excruciatingly long two years to get to this point. After the furious phone call and months of silence, it had taken Colt almost a year to thaw, to actually interact with her beyond the scheduling and logistical communication required in co-parenting their daughter, and then months after that to actually stop speaking in clipped words and bitter tones. Slowly, so slowly, they made their way back to something that flowed and worked but, sometimes, when the three of them grabbed dinner or when she caught his eye at a school event, sometimes she thought they were edging their way to something more, to something old, to something that felt like the last two years had been a nightmare that Ellie was ready to wake up from. His new girlfriend definitely proved that those hopes were all in Ellie’s imagination. “I don’t think I can do it alone."

"Maybe it's his mom."

"She’s still at that conference in Miami." So what if she cut Colt off before he could even explain? She couldn't reasonably expect to sit there while Colt was asking if his new girl could attend their daughter's dance recital. Urgh. That asshole. “Oh my God. Do you think he’s gonna bring her to Kira’s birthday party too?” 

“Ellie, he has the personality of a sociopath and the social ability of a troll. He's single.”

Ellie had to smile. Logan had always been in her corner. While Ximena, Toby, and Mona had their loyalties tested in the breakup, Logan had always had her back. He was her rock and, for a while, they tried to be more, when Colt was gone and Ellie was miserable and terrified and needed someone, but it had never quite worked out. Thankfully, they had managed to to remain thick as the thieves they used to be. "He’s also the father of my child, Logan.”

"And I'm so glad she takes after you."

"Ha ha.” Kira definitely took after her in a lot of ways; like Ellie, she worked hard and had an innate kindness about her that made care for her classmates and call her grandfather every night. But she also had a stubborn streak, an insistence on getting her way that was reminiscent of Colt, along with the smart mouth and an innate confidence that could only be from her father. She even looked like Colt, all thick black hair and deep brown eyes and constantly smirking lips. “Ok, Logan, I'm back at work."

"Alright, fine, see you Saturday?"

"Of course. And thank you, Logan."

Ellie hung up the phone and strode through the lobby, flashing her badge and giving a wave to the receptionist before taking the elevator to her desk and slinking into her seat. She had a major presentation next week, in front of the CEO of the entire company, and she was panicking. As she logged into her computer, she knew she had no time to worry about her ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend and her broken family and a dance recital that she was decidedly not looking forward to; she had work to do.

~~~~~

Before (before, in the very beginning, when things were amazing...)

Ellie rubbed her growing stomach with one hand and bit at the fingernails of her other hand, considering. It wasn't that Ellie was worried, per se; Colt loved her with a single minded devotion that took her breath away, an intensity that made her weak in the best of moments and absolutely destroyed in the worst.

It's just that he wouldn't put down his phone, eyes on the screen at every spare moment. She didn't think he was cheating on her; with the crew and the shop, he lacked the free time needed for an illicit affair. But she just didn't know what else it could be.

And when she asked what he was doing, he would slide his phone away, almost bashful, revealing nothing. It piqued her curiosity and she couldn't, wouldn't leave it alone.

This time, when he threw his phone on the bed and left the room to take a shower, this time, she resolved to find out. She waited until she heard the water running and then reached for it, getting through the lock screen immediately. (Eight numeric digits? Easy. She only needed one guess.)

She looked through the messages (unsurprisingly, mostly to her), the calls (again, mostly her, though the pizza place by the shop was a close second), and finally hit pay dirt when she opened the browser, multiple tabs calling for her attention.

The first looked like a textbook, long words and citations everywhere; it wasn’t until she saw the first image, a chart with weeks and produce arranged in a confusing display, that she realized what it was. A baby book? 

The second tab was similarly confusing. ‘Abigail, Amelia, Audrey...’ It, again, took her a minute to realize that it was a list baby names in alphabetical order. She blinked, barely hearing the water turn off.

Her mouth was open when he walked in the room. “Colt?”

“Yeah?”

“Is this...” Her voice caught. “Are you reading a baby book on your phone?”

“Uhhh....yeah?” He ran a towel through his hair and shrugged. 

“And baby names?”

“Yeah?”

“I...” She blinked up at him, watching a water droplet slide down the side of his face. “I didn’t know that.”

"Well, I don’t have much experience with kids, you know. I don’t want to fuck it up."

She could feel tears starting to form, her happiness emerging as water from her eyes. Damn hormones. "Colt...." She pulled him to sit on the bed next to her. "You are gonna be a great dad. Really."

He just looked at her, taking in the weepy eyes and the pouting frown, and pulled her into a hug, grazing soft kisses across her brow. “I...I don’t wanna be my dad.”

“You won’t. Oh my God, Colt, you won’t.” She knew how worried he was about this, how the torn relationship with his father was never truly repaired before Kaneko’s fiery death. But she wasn’t worried, confident in every way that Colt would rise to the challenge, like he did in every other aspect of their life. She pulled him closer for a lingering kiss, trying to transmit some of her confidence through her lips; he deepened the kiss, hand falling to her waist to thumb the soft skin there, a moan catching in his throat.

He pulled back to curve careful fingers around her face. "I wish you had the baby already."

"Why?" She put her hand over her stomach, still insecure about the curve forming, unfamiliar and new and alien to her.

He slid his hands over hers, then up, further, teasing the soft skin underneath her breasts. "Cuz I'd give you another baby right now."

"Some if the stuff you say is not sexy." Still, she shivered and his hands slid higher.

"Then why are you taking my clothes off right now?" She looked down to where her hands were clutched in his t-shirt, moving of their own accord to get closer to the skin and muscle underneath.

She opened her mouth and closed it again. "You're damn lucky you're cute "

His eyes softened. "I'm just damn lucky."

~~~~~

Now (when things aren’t great but things are fine and things aren’t good but time flies on...)

The conversation with Logan was still fresh in her mind, even over a few days of life and logistics and thinking thinking thinking, when she slid into the chair with a sigh. “Riya, I am tired.” The large coffee cup in a death grip in her hand was proof of that. She had been busy, working as much as she could in order to make sure the most important meeting of her career would go off without a hitch. Thankfully, she and Colt had a fixed schedule, so she could work late some evenings while Colt had Kira and Ellie tried to put her fractured family in the back of her mind. “I have been working 24/7 and have to go to this stupid recital tomorrow where my stupid ex will bring his stupid new girlfriend and I just want a nap.”

Riya only laughed. “I can tell.”

“Sorry, didn’t mean to vent as soon as I sat down. How are you?”

“I’m good!” Riya smoothed down her shirt and leaned forward conspiratorially. “But, you know, I would say that being so miffed about Colt’s date is a sign that-”

Ellie’s hand moved fast to whack Riya, a loving slap against her arm. “Stop it. I don’t want to hear it from you.”

“Ok, but I am just saying that, if you were as over him as you swore you were, you wouldn’t care if-”

“Riya!”

“Fine, fine, fine. In other news, I’m excited for the birthday party!”

“Urgh, I can’t believe it’s next weekend. You’re coming, right?”

“You know it. You wanted me to bring an appetizer?”

“That would be amazing.” Ellie sighed as the warm coffee hit her tongue, making its way down her throat. “You are a godsend, you know that?”

“I know, but it doesn’t hurt to hear you say it.” Riya flashed a smile but it fell as she glanced behind Ellie.

“What? What is it?”

Riya’s eyes widened. “Ummm....speaking of your ex...”

Ellie sucked in a breath; she knew it was a possibility, knew it was a risk coming here since the garage was so close to Riya’s work, but it was her turn to make the trek across town. They hadn’t spoken since he asked about the recital, their only communication being quick text messages, all functional, logistical, formal. 

“And it looks like he’s here with someone,” Riya continued.

Ellie was unable to stop the chair from spinning, turning to catch a glimpse. It was Colt, leather jacket and all, looking uncomfortable, hands stuffed in his pockets. And he was here with someone, tiny brunette next to him talking up a storm as they waited in line.

“She looks like a freaking teenager.” Ellie spun back in her seat to drop her cup on the table.

Even Riya looked incredulous. “Is he on a date?” 

Ellie’s breath caught as she turned again to watch them. The girl was pretty, hands flying around as she barely stopped to breathe, clearly and emphatically in the middle of some epic tale.

“Oh, I’m gonna find out.” Ellie stood and, taking a deep breath to center herself, strode over to the pair. The girl saw her first, glancing around in confusion; she looked younger than Ellie originally thought and the flash of red lipstick did nothing to age her. “Hi, Colt.”

He turned, eyes widening before quickly schooling his expression to neutral. “Hi, Ellie.”

“So....what are you doing here?”

He raised an eyebrow before tilting his head towards the front of the shop. “Getting coffee?” 

“Yeah...” She tried to shoot a significant look at the girl, but Colt ignored it. “That is what one does here. I’m here with Riya.”

Colt looked back and gave her best friend a small wave, hands settling back in his pockets as he studied Ellie. “Ok...”

She waited, but no introduction was forthcoming. Well then. “Who’s your friend?”

He blinked. “Ellie, this is Sam. Sam, this is Ellie. Kira’s mom.”

“Oh my God, Kiki?!? She is so adorable!” Ellie froze, staring at the girl. Apparently, Sam had met Kira and apparently, Sam knew her well enough to call her by her nickname.

“Ah, thank you.” She tried to get her bearings back and failed, just staring at her, taking in the hair that flew about her face as she spoke, the innocence shining in her eyes. She reminded Ellie a little of herself, once upon a time, and the thought made something twist deep in her heart.

“We were making origami flowers together the other day and she said that she was the flower princess but then she tried to put the flowers in a muffler so then we had to get pizza and Kira doesn’t like pepperoni so-”

Ellie blinked, dumbfounded. Who in the world-?

“Next!”

And, thankfully, the story was interrupted by the barista, calling for the pair to step forward.

“Ok...” Ellie looked between the two, jaw dropped. “Well, so nice to meet you. Colt, I’ll see you at the recital tomorrow, right?”

“Yep.”

Ellie slunk back to the table and dropped into her seat. “That was a fail.”

“What happened? Who is she?”

“Her name is Sam.”

“And?”

Ellie sighed, heavy through her nose. “Dunno but she’s met Kira.”

“Whoa.” Riya’s eyes widened. She knew what a big deal that was. Colt still hated all people outside of a core, select group of people that Ellie had once been a part of, as tightly encased there as she had been in his arms. So for someone new to be introduced to his daughter? Ellie hazarded a glace behind her, where Colt was paying for both of their drinks.

“Yeah.”

“You think she’s the girl he’s bringing to the recital?”

Ellie put her head in her hands. “I don’t know.”

The answer to that question came far too quickly for Ellie’s liking. The next day she found herself fidgeting in the cheap cramped seats of a local auditorium, toes tapping a quick beat on the floor of the auditorium as her whole leg jiggled.

“Why are you so nervous? And when does this start?” Logan shifted next to her, trying to move away from the elderly woman on his left who kept glancing over as if she were going to try and pinch his cheek. “This is awful.”

“I know. Thank you for coming.” Ellie knew how atrocious this was. And Logan wasn’t even the one who had to slick Kira’s wild hair into a semblance of a braid. “It should start soon.”

Movement to her right made her look up, relief painting her face as Colt squeezed through the row. And behind him?

“Hi, sweetie!” Ximena pushed Colt to the side to pull Ellie into a huge hug. “Thanks for letting me come! I’m so excited to see Kira dance.”

Elllie let out the breath lodged behind her collarbone. “Ximena! X, I didn’t know you were coming!”

“Of course, wouldn’t miss it! Hi, Logan!”

Colt’s face hardened, eyes glowering as he stared Logan down, barely giving him a nod before plopping into the seat next to Ellie. “When’s her first dance?” Colt and Logan had never had the best relationship but, since Colt was back, she felt like she was in the middle of a war zone and one wrong move would detonate a grenade.

“Fourth one.” Ellie said and fished out the program from under her chair. “First the teachers, then the actual dancers, some older kids, then her class.”

He nodded, staring straight ahead at the empty stage. “Why’s Logan here?”

Her stomach dropped. It seemed silly now. “He wanted to see Kira dance. Why’s X here?” The lights flickered above them, signalling that the show was going to start, the shadows flickering over his scowl.

“Same reason.” He crossed his hands over his chest with a huff; it looked like he wanted to say more but bit his tongue. Ellie studied him out of the corner of her eye. “How long is this going to be?”

She rolled her eyes. “Buckle up cuz you’re here for hours.”

“Are we going out after this?”

“Kira said she wanted to get ice cream at the beach.”

“Does he have to come?”

Ellie’s elbow shot out before she could stop it. “Come on.” 

“Shhh!” The woman behind them leaned forward in her seat as the tinny tinkle of piano started from the speakers. “It’s starting.”

Ellie grinned apologetically, Colt just huffed and sank lower in his seat. “God forbid we miss a moment.”

“Oh my God, stop.” She elbowed him again but, based on the laughter in her voice, she didn’t think it carried the right effect. 

And based by the smile she got in return, she knew he was emboldened. “What? You don’t want to miss-” He glanced at the stage and snatched the program from her, sighing. “Whatever the hell this purple monstrosity is?”

“Oh come on, you know you’re going to watch Kira when she comes out.”

“And sleep until that happens?”

“Going for Best Father Ever, here?”

He knocked into her shoulder; he didn’t need to move far, tiny seats pressing the audience into close quarters. “I already have a cup that says that, thank you very much.”

“Umm, hello? Kira made it before she could spell and it actually says Best Farter Ever.”

“And I will treasure it for the rest of my life.”

She laughed and then remembered where she was, shrinking into her seat. “If you get me kicked out...”

“Oh, because I’m always the one dragging you into trouble?”

“Umm...yes?”

“Fine. Yes.” He quirked an eyebrow at her. “But you get into enough trouble on your own, thank you very much.”

“I plead the fifth.” 

She leaned against him as he looked back at the stage. “Are those kids dressed up as sunflowers? What the hell is happening?”

“Colt!” She elbowed him in the side, again, digging in further, casting a careful glance behind them. “We cannot get kicked out of a dance recital.”

“You say it like this would be the worst place I’ve been kicked out of.”

She leaned against the arm rest to glare at him and his answering smirk back made her pause, quirk of his lip making her realize how close they were, squeezed into the audience, fake velour under her fingers the only thing that separated them. She leaned closer.

Her heart stopped as Colt’s hand dropped, almost as if her were going to clasp her palm in his, almost as if he forgot that wasn’t a thing they did anymore. Her breath caught. They were so close to touching, inches, when she could see the look on his face change, when he remembered, when he realized that he couldn’t, shouldn’t.

And the moment was over. He ran his hand through his hair. Ellie turned away, leaning back in her chair and staring at the dancing sunflowers on stage. She could feel the electricity underneath her skin, a counterpoint to the voice in her brain telling her this was a bad idea.

Ellie focused on watching every single dance and staying on her side of the fabric barrier between them.

~~~~~

Before (when things actually couldn’t get better so they had to get worse...)

Kira was screeching, counting numbers in some semblance of order (she would proudly proclaim that she was almost three to anyone who walked by but still thought eighteen came after ten). Ellie shook her head and walked into the bedroom, pulling open the drawer of her bedside table.

Who even used checks nowadays? Urgh. She had no idea where her checkbook was, but it definitely wasn’t there. She rolled her eyes, annoyed, and it was just then that she noticed her bed was vibrating. Well, more specifically, her comforter was vibrating, likely because of the person-shaped lump underneath it that was barely holding it together.

Ellie blinked and carefully lifted up a corner. “Colt?”

“Shhh!” He was beaming, smiling up at her in mirth, eyes shining.

“What are you doing?”

“Kicking ass at hide and seek?”

“Oh my God.”

“And I can try to sneak in a nap at the same time. Brilliant.” He had been working a ton recently, coming home dead on his feet after long days, but this was a little extreme.

“Daddy?” Kira’s quizzical cry came from the hallway.

“Shh!” Colt grabbed Ellie’s wrist and pulled, dragging her onto the bed. “She’ll hear you!”

“Jesus!” Ellie was shrouded into darkness as Colt pulled the comforter over her, pulling her close and effectively hiding them both. It was warm, underneath the down, encased in his arms; she could feel her body heating up in multiple ways as he pulled her closer.

“Hmm....” She could hear his voice coming from somewhere below her right ear and, before she knew it, his lips were teasing the sensitive skin behind her earlobe, open-mouthed kisses sliding lower. “I can think of something else this hiding spot is good for.”

“Oh my God, Colt!”

“Daddy?!?!” The shout was in the room now and Colt’s laugh was huffed against her. Ellie tried not to squirm but his hands around her waist and lips brushing against her neck made it a challenge.

Little hands threw the comforter on the floor. “I found you!”

“You did!” 

Kira squealed as her dad grabbed her around the waist and pulled her into bed with them, tickling her sides as she laughed and laughed and laughed and Ellie thought that she had never, in her entire life, been happier than she was at this moment, watching Kira struggle to breathe through her laughter, watching the worry lines on Colt’s brow fade to joy. She felt content. She felt whole.

“Alright, Kiki. I’m gonna find you now!” Colt clambered up, lifting Kira high over his head. “You better find a good spot.”

Their giggled echoed down the hall as Ellie lay, smiling, basking in the moment. What had she been doing? Oh yeah, the checkbook.

It hadn’t been in her bedside table; maybe it had wound up in Colt’s?

She pushed herself out of bed and wandered over, pulling the drawer open and feeling around. She didn’t see the checkbook immediately but paused when her fingers hit something soft. It felt like fur, maybe velvet, and she pulled it out to see.

And froze.

She checked the doorway to make sure she was alone and sank onto the bed, clutching the ring box in one trembling hand. One last look out the doorway, double-checking, triple-checking, and she opened it, millimeter by incremental millimeter; when she saw the gleam of a diamond, she gasped, shutting the box and throwing it back in the drawer.

They hadn’t really talked about it; she knew Colt was as devoted to her as she was to him but, with Kira and two demanding jobs between them, she never really paid attention to the legal status of their relationship. But, judging by the ring hiding in the back of his bedside table, he had. 

Holy shit.

Ellie couldn’t hold back the smile splitting her face. Her answer was never in doubt.

~~~~~

Now (when things aren’t so sure and things aren’t so good, and it’s still the beginning now...)

“What do you mean you were called in to work?”

“I’m sorry, Ellie.” She could tell that her dad felt bad, both that he was bailing on her and that he wouldn’t see Kira tonight. “It was a last minute thing since Silver got injured yesterday.”

“I understand.” She peered through the glass door into the hallway; it was empty, bright corporate signage taunting her as her mind raced. At least the CEO hadn’t arrived yet and she still had some time to come up with a backup plan. “I’m sure I can figure something out. Someone will be able to watch her.”

“I’m really sorry, kiddo.”

She frantically looked through her phone book as she paced in the conference room, fingers stabbing the digits to try to get to her friends. Riya had tickets to the Lakers game. Logan had to work late in exchange for getting Saturday off.

Ellie took a deep breath as she clicked on her last hope; she had one more person to try. Things had been fine at the recital and he didn’t mention any plans-hopefully, he was free.

“Hey, Ellie.”

It was loud on the shop floor, shouts and banging filtering through the line. “Hi, Colt. Are you busy tonight?” She could hear him step away from the ruckus and into the office; when he shut the door, it was blessedly quiet.

“What’d you say?”

“Are you busy tonight? I’m desperate.”

“Umm...”

“I have a huge work meeting tonight and my dad can’t watch Kira anymore. Are you free? Can you pick her up from school and stay until I get there?”

“Yeah, I can do that.”

She breathed a sigh of relief. “Oh my God, thank you, thank you, thank you, you have no id-”

“Ellie, it’s fine. Jeez, she’s my daughter; I want to see her. Do you want me to have her sleep here and I can just drop her at school tomorrow?”

“No, I shouldn't be that late. Just bring her to my place.”

“Ok.”

She took a deep breath as she hung up the phone. It would be fine. She wasn’t going to be that late. 

...Except she was.

The meeting went well. Amazingly well. Astoundingly well. So well, in fact, that  she and her team had headed out to their local bar to celebrate for just one drink.

That had turned into two drinks.

That had turned into more, so many more that she couldn’t drive home and could only cling onto the bar when her legs stopped working as she chatted and laughed and reveled in a job well done.

But now it was late and Kira was probably in bed and she couldn’t get her damn key into the lock because the doorknob wouldn’t stop moving. She took a deep breath and rested her forearm on the door frame, stable enough to slow the spinning, if only for a moment, so she could slide the key in the lock and yank the door open and stumbling her way into the house, cursing how easy martinis went down and time flew by.

At least she had the peace of mind to throw her shoes off, to try to dull her footsteps as she stumbled in, feeling her way around the furniture to hit the lights.

“Colt?” She tried to whisper but she wasn’t sure she succeeded, voice echoing around her.

No answer.

“Colt?” She edged her way into her living room and stopped short, barely managing to stay upright before crashing to the floor. He was asleep on the couch, long legs dangling over the side, rise and fall of his chest visible under the wrinkled tee, hitched up so she could see the cut of his abs, treasure trail a tease that disappeared under the button of his jeans. He looked soft, vulnerable, and she could feel her breath catch. It was too intimate, watching him sleep on the couch that used to be his, in the house they used to share, with the daughter they made and raised just down the hall. It was too dangerous, seeing him this soft, as soft as he was in her memories, memories of a better time when her family was whole and she didn’t sleep alone.

And do a lot more than sleep in that bed. Because even in her drunken state, she could vividly recall what was under those jeans.

She watched him for a minute, taking in the long lines of muscles, the flawless eyebrows, the line of his jaw. “Colt?”

He started, turning to her as his eyes flickered open and fell on her. “Hey. How was your work thing?”

“Good. Sorry I was so late.”

“No worries.” He sat up, yawning.

“How was Kira?”

He blinked up at her, slowly, hair mussed into the bedhead that was all too familiar and that she wished she had forgotten. “Good. We went to the butterfly exhibit at the zoo.”

She could just picture them, hand-in-hand, looking at butterflies and stopping for ice cream before they left. It was the life she had and wanted and lost. She opened her mouth to speak but instead, she hiccuped. Loudly. And did it again, alcohol turning warm in her stomach, heating up the blood flowing throughout her body, setting fire to her face as she blushed.

“Let me...” Colt stood, staring at her uncertainly. “Let me get you some water.”

She nodded, following him into the kitchen, watching as he filled a glass and handed it to her. “Did your-hic-did your girlfriend go?”

He paused, eyes cutting to her. “Huh?” He handed over the glass and shoved his hands in his pockets.

“Did your girlfriend go?”

“What girlfriend? And go where?”

Ellie’s hands flailed and she grimaced as the water sloshed onto the floor. “The girl. Your girlfriend.”

“I don’t have a girlfriend.”

“But...” She narrowed her eyes at him, sipping the water. “Can you stop moving around? You’re all floaty.”

“You’re all drunk. You should go to bed.”

“No! I’m-” She swayed and had to put the glass down, heavy hand clasping the counter for support. “I might be drunk.”

He chuckled, shaking his head, eyes almost fond. “I should go home.”

“I thought you were gonna bring her to the recital.”

“Bring who to the recital?”

“Your girlfriend, Colt, keep up.”

He opened and closed his mouth. “I don’t have a girlfriend, Ellie. I think you should-”

“If you don’t have a girlfriend, I think you should kiss me.” If she had any coordination left, she would have slapped her hand in front of her mouth as penance for speaking before thinking. However, as it was, she needed to hold on the counter so she wouldn’t slink onto the floor; with no extra hands, she bit her lip and flushed, face and body heating up in shame.

He gaped and ran a hand through his hair, rocking back on his heels. “Ellie, you’re drunk. And you have a boyfriend. We’re not gonna-”

“I don’t have a boyfriend.”

“But you do. I mean, you have since I got out.” His eyes narrowed. Ellie wanted to smooth the lines from his forehead. Hell, in her drunken state, she wanted to do a lot more.

“What? I don’t, I haven’t, not in a looong time.”

He stared, for so long she almost considered letting go of her iron grip on the counter to walk towards him, but wasn’t sure that she would make it without falling to the ground. Finally, he spoke. “It doesn’t matter. You’re drunk.”

“I’m not.” She was starting to get offended by the aspersions against her sobriety, but she didn’t know which of the three Colts in front of her she should complain to.

“You are.”

“Would you if I were sober?”

“Jesus Christ.”

“Would you kiss me if I were sober?” She was acutely aware of the distance between them- five feet, ten tiles, four steps, none of which she was currently capable of taking. She could feel the distance weighing heavy on her skin as she blinked at him.

“Ellie...” He walked forward, cautious and slow: three feet, two of his steps, and she felt braver. 

“I think you would. I think you should.”

His eyes trailed down her face.

“I think you should kiss me now.”

“You’re drunk.” It was a whisper, a breath, but loud enough to rocket through the static in Ellie’s brain as he stepped forward again.

“But if I were sober?”

He was so close that she could follow the path of his eyes, locking with hers, then down, glancing at the mole on her cheek, the freckle on her chin, before ending the circuitous gaze at her lips.

“If I were sober, would you kiss me?”

“If you were sober, I would carry you back to your bedroom and show you what you've been missing for the last two years.”

She blinked once and, when her brain caught up to his words, her hands leapt of their own accord, grabbing his t-shirt and pulling, pulling him closer so his chest met hers and their legs were tangled and none of that mattered because they were kissing, finally kissing, after two years apart, after missed connections and miscommunications and none of that mattered when he backed her into the counter, hands on her hips, mouth never leaving hers.

Heat immediately flashed through her body; was it the kiss? The booze? The fact that it had been two years? 

The world spun as strong hands under her thighs lifted her; suddenly, she was perched on the counter. He was slotted in between her legs, mouth dropping to her neck, to the spot behind her ear. She couldn’t think, couldn’t control herself, legs wrapping around him to pull, closer, please, closer. She moaned as his lips moved to up her chin, stubble scraping her jawline, warm friction the most welcome sensation in the world; she wanted to feel the rough scratch all over her. She let out a shuddery exhale, barely formed into his name, pulling at his shirt. His hands slid up her thigh and they were scorching hot, fingers ten lines of fire skating up her already overheating body, underneath her dress, higher still as she though she was going to burst into flames, burn up from the inside and explode. She was spinning when she closed her eyes, spinning when she opened them, the world moving as her head dropped back against the cabinet.

He was going to light her on fire and all she wanted to do was burn.

“Ellie-” His lips had somehow found her ear. It was so hot, so warm in this room, in this skin. The room wouldn’t stop moving. “Ellie, I-”

She grabbed at the edge of the counter, trying to make everything still. It was all spinning, her familiar kitchen curving around her. It must be the heat. It couldn’t be good to be this hot. 

He pulled back, only a blurry shape between the spots in her vision. “Ellie?”

She blinked.

Time was starting to bend, sway, change; she could have sworn that he had been right in front of her, hands and lips and taut muscles and stubbled jaw so close she swore they had been touching, but now, suddenly, he was across the room, feet away, eyes unreadable.

The lights in her kitchen were shifting too, spots of color flaring at the edges of her vision, warping and changing and disappearing when she tried to focus.

She blinked.

And he was in front of her again, hands on her waist to lift her onto the floor, smoothing down the lines of her dress, a dress that was not so professional, not anymore, not when it had made its way up her thighs to make room for strong, clever fingers dragging paths of fire along her skin.

The room was shifting too, floor moving, swaying, walls in funhouse patterns around her. She grasped the counter behind her, wrapped Colt’s t-shirt in her other hand, struggling to stay upright with the tilting of the room.

She blinked.

And Kira was there, talking, words coming too fast for her tired brain to understand, Colt filling a plastic unicorn glass with water as the spots of light grew in her eyes.

She blinked.

And the spots of light were a blaze. She opened her eyes to light, bright light, everywhere, and a pounding in her head that spread throughout her body with every throb, the roar of her heartbeat making her wince as it joined the jack-hammering in her brain. She squinted and managed to make out familiar walls, her desk, the large window that was allowing the painful sunshine to pour into the room. She was in her bedroom, somehow, feeling like hell. Everything hurt, she couldn’t think through the construction in her brain, and her mouth was dry and tasted like bad decisions. Crap. She knew these signs. She was hungover.

From the living room, she could hear the soft patter of tiny feet and muffled giggles. Double crap. Kira was up, which meant she needed to fight through the wreckage and somehow pull it together. She rolled over to grab a pillow to throw over her aching eyes and, while she thankfully caught the scream before it left her throat, she couldn’t stop the gasp.

She wasn’t alone in bed. She could see a hint of dark hair, a defined bicep muscle and strong shoulder completely out of place on her sheets. She hazarded a look down and winced. She was naked.

Oh my God.

“Stop freaking out, nothing happened.” Oh, thank goodness, it was Colt. Granted, not great, but, if she was going to wake up in a questionable position next to someone, he was definitely the best of some bad alternatives. “I’ll get her.” The sun slammed pinpoints of pain through her eyes as she watched him clamber out of bed, throwing on clothes.

“If nothing happened, why am I naked?” Triple crap. She was barely able to speak, hoarse voice fighting through chapped lips.

“Because you don’t listen to reason when you’re drunk?” He shrugged on a shirt and she watched the cut of muscles in his back move as he dragged his arms into the sleeves.

She licked her lips and even that small movement hurt. “Why are you here?”

“Because I didn’t think you would be able to function today.” He looked over his shoulder, eyes taking in her supine form, huffing out a sigh. “I wasn’t wrong.”

He wasn’t wrong. She felt like death, eyes falling closed as he left the room.

And eyes shooting open as she remembered.

She didn’t remember everything, had a sense that the night faded from her mind as the hours crept by, but she definitely remembered balancing on the counter as her hands slid though the short hairs at the back of his head and his hands slid up her bare legs. She definitely remembered words and kisses that took her breath away and she remembered leaning back against the counter, warm and pliant, held captive by his hands and his lips and the sparks settling in the base of her stomach. She lifted a shaky hand to her jaw; the skin there was still sensitive, the line of his stubble leaving a flush trail that tingled as her hand gently probed her chin.

Colt said nothing happened.

She wouldn’t call these memories ‘nothing.’

Fuck.

Her mind raced. She tried to think through the noise in her brain but was coming up short, memories refusing to return from whatever mental place the alcohol buried them in. She remembered the work meeting, the bar, coming home; she remembered them kissing, could still feel it in her toes. But then? Nothing. 

Urgh.

She was never drinking again.

If she listened closely, focusing on the world outside the pain, she could hear Kira and Colt in the kitchen.

“Daddy! You wore those clothes yesterday.”

“Seriously?” He coughed, awkwardly bumbling before he could respond. “You’re wearing a tutu and dinosaur rain boots while carrying a plastic sword and you want to talk about my outfit?”

“I’m a ballerina dinosaur hunter, daddy! Can I have toast?”

She pushed herself to a sitting position, waiting until the room stopped spinning, and then pushed to a stand, waiting until the floor stopped lurching. She had just managed to throw on some sweats when the door opened again, Colt ducking in with a glass of water and a couple painkillers.

“You said nothing happened.” She tried to glare at him but it hurt her eyes

He blinked. “Nothing happened, Ellie. I know you woke up naked but I swear to God we didn’t-”

“We kissed.” She snatched the pills from his hand, throwing them in her mouth. He handed over the water glass and looked away from her, guilty as hell.

“Yeah. We kissed. That’s it.”

“That’s not noth-”

“I know that.” He looked intently at her, voice dropping to a pained whisper, glancing behind him to where Kira was humming, still out of sight in the kitchen. “I know that. But I meant that we didn’t have sex. Because that didn’t happen.”

She looked at him uncertainly. “What did happen last night?”

“You came home drunk. You asked about Kira. We talked.” He bit his lip and sighed. “We kissed in the kitchen. Kira got up for water and I put you to bed. That was it.”

“Why was I naked?”

“That was all you. You said that you were too hot for clothes.”

“Why didn’t you sleep on the couch?”

“I tried!” He gaped at her. “You said, and I quote, ‘you saw me give birth, Colt, I think we can share a bed.’“

She put her head in her hands, both to cover her blush and to try and quiet the pounding in her head. She was never drinking again.

“Hey.” He touched her arm. “Hey. It’s fine. You go back to bed. I’ll bring her to school.”

She let her hands fall, flashing him a grateful smile. He turned to go but her hand shot out to grab his forearm, skin soft underneath her fingertips. “Thank you.” She tried to ensure her tone conveyed some of the gravity she felt but it sounded more like a croak from a ruined throat.

However, as he gazed back at her, not removing his arm from her grasp, she thought he understood.

~~~~~

Before (when shit comes heavy heavy, storm’s right here, let it in) 

Cake? Check.

Decorations? Check.

People? Check. Obviously, Kira was here. Of course, she didn’t exactly have a choice and was currently sitting on her grandfather’s lap, throwing her hands in the air with a delighted squeal at every bounce of his knees. Riya and Darius were in the corner, pouring over the piles of presents, while Logan, Ximena, and Toby had already started diving into the pizza.

Everything was perfect for Kira’s third birthday and, as soon as Colt got home from work, they were going to have cake.

But he was scheduled to arrive over an hour ago and she hadn’t heard a word. She was just about to light the candles without him when her phone rang.

“Mona? Where are you?” Her brow furrowed. Not exactly who she had been anticipating calling her but...

“I have some bad news.”

Ellie felt her stomach drop. “What?”

“Colt got picked up. We think they’re gonna hold him without bail but we’re not sure until the arraignment.”

“Wait, what?”

“I’m sorry, Ellie. He said to tell you that he’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Hold up. What?” 

Mona’s voice was uncertain as Ellie reached around, blindly, hand finally grasping a chair and sitting. “It’s gonna be ok. I promise. He’ll call tomorrow.”

Ellie blinked at the phone, staring dumbly until Riya walked into the kitchen. She was barely able to get the story out, shock and distress clouding her mind as Riya held her close and rubbed her back until the tears had dried and Ellie could fake it enough to stand and smile and not scream.

She was numb, completely numb, going through the motions, the candles, the cake, the smiles. She was lost, fear and anger and shame roiling in her stomach. 

And, the worst, the absolute worst of it was that, with every picture that was taken, she felt his absence stab her through the heart, knowing that they were documenting an empty space as they documented Kira’s third birthday. She couldn’t stand it and had to excuse herself so only the bathroom mirror would see her tears.

He did call the next day, when the presents had all been opened, when the cake had all been eaten, when the decorations had all been put away, and when the shock had faded and been replaced with blinding anger.

“Ellie. Baby.”

“I am going kill you.” She ducked into her bedroom, voice packing as much fury as she could into a whisper; regardless of how angry she was, she couldn’t wake Kira up.

“It’s so good to hear your voice.”

“Don’t even, asshole.”

“Baby...” Colt sighed, pleading. “I’m so sorry but don’t worry, the charges won’t stick and I should be out soon and-”

“Don’t worry? Don’t worry?!?” She could feel the angry tears start to cloud her vision. She closed her eyes but could only see red. “You missed her birthday.”

She could hear noise behind him and a rustle, voice louder as he pulled the phone closer. “I know... Ellie....”

“Don’t ‘Ellie’ me. What the hell did you do?”

“It’s a really long story and I can’t really talk about it here.”

“For fuck’s sake, Colt! I can’t believe you!” She blinked furiously, trying to keep the tears from falling. “I thought we were done with this shit, I thought your family was more-”

“But Ellie-”

“Don’t ‘’but Ellie’ me!”

His sigh was heavy. “I’m sorry but I promise-”

“No, you listen to me! I can’t believe you! Listen to your stupid excuses and stupid promises. You know what? You’re exactly like your dad.”

The intake of his breath was sharp on the phone line. “Ellie-”

“You said you weren’t your dad and look at you now,” she spit venom out over the line. “What if you don’t get out?”

“I will.” His harsh whisper was certain. “I will, give it some time and-” 

“No.” The tears were burning on her cheeks. “I’m not going to be waiting here for you. I’m done.”

His voice was pained. “You don’t mean th-”

“I’m done, Colt. Done. I can’t have my daughter around this. I can’t be around this.” She sunk onto the bed, weak legs no longer able to hold her up. “Don’t contact me. Really. Don’t call. Don’t write. If you ever get out, then maybe you can see your daughter. Until then, goodbye.”

“Ellie, wai-”

The silence on the line finally and completely broke her heart. She allowed herself five minutes, five minutes of hysterical, cathartic tears, then trudged back into the kitchen to make lunches for tomorrow. 

Colt or no Colt, she had shit to take care of.

~~~~~

Now (things are getting better so keep it steady steady...)

The birthday party was in full swing, Kira laughing and spinning in her princess gown, clad in a giant party hat with a bright pink five right in the center, when Ellie ducked into the kitchen to find Colt hunched over the counter. His body was angled just so she couldn’t see what he was looking at. Suspicious.

“What are you-?” She peered over, just enough to see the plate in front of him. “Are you sneaking cookies?”

He turned, eyes crinkling with mirth, boyish smile gracing his face. He looked young, innocent, presiding over his hoard with a smudge of chocolate on his top lip. “Shhh....she’s gonna hear you!”

“Thief! You goddamn thief! Give me one!” She stepped closer, hand out.

“No way! These are mine!” His eyes sparkled and, at moments like these, Ellie had to remind herself that they were over, that they weren’t together, that it was a distant history, her distant past.

“I’m so gonna tell Kira you broke into her stash.”

“My stash now.” 

“Just give me-” She reached over, trying to get at the cookies around him, and he started batting her away laughing.

“No, you’re gonna ruin it!”

“Not if you share!” She hip checked him, trying to move him, but he only pushed her back, each of them fighting for space in front of the heaping plate. Finally, Ellie managed to edge in between him and the counter, snatching a cookie, spinning triumphantly. “Got one!” The words died in her mouth as she realized how close they were, his hips pressing hers into the counter, lips inches from hers, the smear of chocolate on his upper lip tempting her, sweeter than any cookie she’d ever seen.

A soft thud caught her attention and she looked down, realizing the cookie had fallen out of her hand. She swallowed and looked back at him. “Colt?” He wasn’t blinking, eyes trained on her lips and his hands curling around her waist. Her heart jumped into her throat.

“Daddy!” Colt jumped back as if stung as Kira flounced into the room. “Are we gonna have cake?”

Ellie blinked at where Colt was still staring at her, eyes wide; apparently, she was going to need to recover her voice first. “Yeah, in a minute.”

“Ok! Yay! I love cake!” Kira answered as only a sugar-high five year-old could and danced off.

“I’m gonna-” Ellie licked her lips and gestured to the food behind her. “I’m gonna get-”

The rest of the sentence was lost in Colt’s mouth as he surged forward and pressed her against the counter. She responded eagerly, throwing her arms around his neck, licking the chocolate off his lip and then pushing her tongue to meet his and chase the rest of the sweetness. He moaned low in his throat, hands grabbing her hips and sliding against her back, shots of electricity that went straight down her spine. She kissed him like she was drowning, like she had been drowning for years and the breath she pulled from his lungs was what she needed to revive her, to awaken her nerves and the shivers down her back and the tingle even lower.

She had just slid her fingers into his belt loops, yanking him closer, grasping at every inch of skin she could reach, when footsteps registered at the edge of consciousness. It was impossible to pay attention to anything else, however, when Colt’s teeth made their way to her lip, a teasing bite that made her jerk her hips. 

But she was forced to look up when the door to the kitchen flew open with a crash and Colt jumped backwards, both of them gasping for breath.

“Holy shit.” Riya hissed, shock on her face fading into a knowing grin that Ellie despised. “I’m just gonna...” She put the dirty dishes on the counter and covered her eyes. “Carry on. I’m just gonna go back out and you guys can continue whatever it was that you were doing.” 

Ellie glared daggers at her back. When she turned to Colt, the moment had faded; he was looking at the ground, one hand rubbing the back of his neck, the other gesturing towards the door. “I’m gonna-”

She nodded, busying herself by fixing up the desserts. They said history repeated itself so you had to learn from it, but she wasn’t sure she understood this lesson. 

At least this time, she was sober.

~~~~~

Before (when things got worse, went from bad to worse, went from bad to worst...)

Ellie frowned, putting the phone down with a sigh. 

She should have known she wasn’t ready to jump into anything again, the breakup with Colt so fresh, so raw, but Logan was Logan. He was kind and caring and so undoubtedly attractive that she let herself believe that they could more from friendship to more without stopping to think. To think about what she wanted, to think about her broken heart and worried mind and her ruined life.

She had just been so lonely. And alone. And sad, as sad as she had ever been. And scared, terrified really, of being a single mother and having no one else to rely on, other than herself. She knew first-hand how cruel this world could be; could she and Akira really survive as a dyad, a pair, fighting through the storms together? She wasn’t sure.

But when her world turned upside down, Logan had been the person she could rely on. Ximena was around, often, but Ellie suspected that it was because Colt requested it, had asked her to check in and care for his family when he couldn’t. And, to his credit, he hadn’t called her, had respected her angry words, words that she sometimes thought she would take back if given the chance, if he had called. She wondered what they would say, if he would apologize and explain, if she would apologize and take back her rage. Those thoughts remained unspoken, though. He didn’t call. She didn’t visit. And she was alone.

But not always alone. Logan had been there, for the mundane, such as pickups from school or last minute grocery trips, and the less mundane, such as calming her tears when the stress and worry became too much. 

But jumping into a relationship? It was too much, too soon. She couldn’t...she just couldn’t... She sunk into a chair and put her hands over her face. He had even been so understanding about it all, vowing that they would stay friends, vowing that this wouldn’t ruin their ten year friendship. Regardless of what else they had going on, he had her back.

Her ruminating was interrupted by a knock at the door, three sharp raps that made her pause. She wasn’t expecting anyone and tiptoed over, peering through the peephole and gasping. 

The last person she expected to see on her doorstep was standing there, repetitively cracking his knuckles and rocking back on his heels, frown on his face. She threw open the door. 

He straightened and looked down at her; any nervousness she saw through the peephole was gone now as he stared in barely contained fury. “Hello, Ellie.”

“Hi, Colt.” She took a minute to drink him in; he was glaring at her, arms stiff at his side and hands balled into fists. She hadn’t seen him in four months and couldn’t stop her eyes from assessing him, looking him over under the dim streetlight above them to see how he changed. He looked harder, muscles in his chest more defined, tilt of his shoulders more aggressive, but it was him, alive and free.

“Can I come in?”

She dumbly nodded and stood aside so he could walk in, stooping to untie his boots and leave them in the entryway before stepping inside. She felt unmoored, lost. “When did you get out of jail?”

“Last week. They dropped all charges. Just like I said.”

She swallowed. His words were dripping with poison; while they had their share of fights, he had never spoken to her this coldly. He had never scared her; for all his criminal activity and illegal transgressions, he had also been tender hands and declarations of love with her. While she wasn’t scared of him now, she suddenly knew what it was like to be in front of Kaneko, instead of her Colt.

“You waited a week to come-”

“I’m here now. I wanted to talk to you about Kira.”

She took a deep breath. “Okay.” She wondered if he would let her apologize for her words or if it would be pointless, just like the last four months had been: pointless and long and unforgiving.

“We need to come up with a schedule so I can see my daughter.” He reached into his pocket to pull out a folded piece of paper and hand it to her. “Here’s what I recommend. It’s an alternating schedule; one week, I’l get her Monday-Wednesday-Friday. Then you have the following weekend and we switch.” His tone was short, business-like, serious.

She looked down at his careful writing on the paper. “Okaaay.” Her brain wasn’t keeping up. Apparently, she wasn’t going to get an apology either; maybe it was for the best. “This is fine. I guess. I mean...” She bit her lip, trying and failing to think.

“This is just a starting point. Modifications are fine based on schedule.” He hadn’t taken his coat off, hands shoved in his pockets.

“Then, yeah. Yeah, this is fine.”

“Good.”

“I missed you.” The words came out before she could reconsider.

His eyes narrowed, darkening dangerously. “I’d like to see my daughter, please.”

“She’s...” Ellie had to suck in a breath, blinking to try and keep the tears from her eyes. This is not exactly how she imagined the reunion. Thank goodness he hadn’t arrived any earlier, to catch her stilted conversation with Logan. “She’s asleep.”

“I just want to see her.”

“Ok.” Ellie sighed. “Fine.”

He nodded brusquely and walked past her towards Kira’s room, opening the door as softly as possible. She followed, slowly, feet padding behind as she stopped in the hall. Ellie wondered if jail had hardened him, if the tight jaw and narrowed eyes were an artifact of being inside for so long. 

However, as she peered through her daughters doorway and saw him sit carefully on the side of Kira’s tiny mattress, tears pooling in his eyes, gentle hand caressing her face with inexplicable softness, she wondered if it was she, herself, was the hardening force. 

 ~~~~~

And now (for the end of the end and the beginning of the beginning...)

“We should stop.” Her hands fisted into his t-shirt, pulling him closer so her hands could greedily start working on the button of his jeans. She had only come to pick up Kira, to take her home for dinner and bath and story and bed and another night of being alone. She had not come here to be pressed against the filing cabinet in Colt’s office, his lips sliding against hers and strong arms holding her hips steady.

His lips edged to her ear and he hissed as her hands found her target. “You’re kinda giving me mixed signals here.” 

She also hadn’t come here to see Sam, the young coffee shop girl with bright lipstick and rapid prattle, playing checkers with Kira on the concrete floor of the shop while Colt was in his office. It made something ugly burn in her stomach, ugly and nasty and painful; in the back of her mind, she realized that she understood what it was like to be replaced and how deep that hurt went. “We should stop, we’re in your office, Colt.”

“I’m well aware.” His hips bucked as she gave him a slow stroke, just how he liked. Some things were impossible to forget.

“And Kira’s outside.”

“Yeah, she’s fine.” The noise was huffed against her neck as warm hands slid up her back. 

She blinked. Kira was outside with the coffee shop girl and Ellie was in here, with her ex and her broken heart and her broken family that had never really been fixed.

“Stop.” He froze instantly at the word and her dead voice, his hands stopping their path up her sides. “We can’t do this.”

"Ok.” He took a few steps back, breathing hard. He looked debauched, standing in front of her, hair mussed, shirt wrinkled, cheeks and lips flushed a bright pink that continued down and disappeared into his shirt. 

“Listen, El-” He quickly fixed up his pants, taking a deep breath and another step back. “Ellie. I-” He rubbed his hand over his face. “This isn’t-”

His struggle for words was interrupted by a scream, piercing in the shop, and then a crash that trailed off into silence. Colt caught her eye for a split-second, fear clouding his gaze, before cursing. “Fuck, Akira!” He threw open the door to the office and sprinted into the shop, Ellie hot on his heels. 

And what she saw made her heart leap into her throat. 

Kira was on the ground, a crumpled heap, next to a cabinet of tools that lay on its side. Its drawers were askew, wrenches and screws and metal scattered around where her child lay, eerily still for a child who never stopped moving. Colt made it there first, turning her over as Ellie’s hand flew to her mouth. Kira’s eyes were closed, eyebrows and lashes stark against her pale skin, below a patch of blood that was steadily getting worse. 

“Kira? Hey, Kira?” He was under her now, sitting, crouched down, careful hands combing back her hair to get a better look. Her arm was splayed out at an odd angle, cradled in her dad’s lap, and Ellie thought she was gonna throw up.

Colt reached into his pocket, trying not to jostle the still bundle on his lap, and tossed his phone to Ellie. “Call an ambulance. Now.”

She nodded, shaky, fingers typing in the eight numeric digits without thinking, unlocking the phone with trembling hands as she sank to the floor so she wouldn’t drop the phone. Even sitting on the concrete, her knees were knocking against each other and she felt so cold, watching Colt pull their daughter to him; she dialed the number.

Sam came running down the stairs, dark hair flying behind her. “What happened?”

“I don’t know.”

“Can you get me the first aid kit?”

“911, what is your emergency?”

“I-”

“Where’s the first aid kit?”

“Break room.” 

“911. Hello? Ma’am?”

“I-” 

“Hurry!”

“Ok, I’ll get it.” Sam’s footsteps disappearing into the break room brought her back into the moment. She had taken down corrupt cops and stolen multi-million dollar vehicles. She could call an ambulance.

“Yes, I’m here. I need an ambulance to Gramercy Park. My daughter is hurt...” She looked at the wreckage around her as she gave the dispatcher the information, her daughter cradled in Colt’s arms, shouts from the back as Toby and Ximena came running out. She sat and trembled like a leaf in a tornado, desperate to hold onto something for dear life.

She shook the entire way, as she watched the red lights flash throughout the street, the entire ambulance ride, clutching Colt’s hand until her knuckles were white and sore. Kira had woken up during the trip, eyes confused and frightened watching the strange equipment and paramedics bustling over her, crying when she told them that she only wanted to climb up the toolbox-she was so so sorry and she would never do it again and it hurt. Ellie shook and trembled and fretted as she watched the stretcher go down the hall, off to some scan with some machine that would tell them if something was seriously wrong, shook the whole way to the waiting room as they checked her baby out and she and Colt had to wait interminably as the local news blared on the television chained to the wall and she paced and paced and paced.

“Ellie, she's going to be okay.”

Ellie wringed her hands together. “I know, I know. I'm just...I can’t believe...”

“Yeah.” He plopped into a chair, long legs splayed in front of him.

She glared at him, flash of anger coming on the heels of the terror. “I thought your girlfriend was watching her.”

“Who?”

“Sam?”

“Who the hell’s Sam?”

Ellie blinked at him. It was like they were inhabiting completely separate worlds. But maybe they had been for the last two years. “The girl in the shop? Who was playing with Kira?”

“Wait, the receptionist?”

Ellie froze in mid-flail, hand returning to her side. “Who?”

“Toby’s cousin? Who works the front desk?” Colt stared her down. “Jesus, Ellie, that’s who you’ve been talking about? For Christ’s sake, she’s 18. And she works for me!”

“Toby’s cousin?”

“She needed a job. I needed someone to sit at the front desk and play solitaire and not blow shit up. It worked.”

She sank into the chair next to him, legs giving out. She was entirely drained, her body, her mind, everything; she put her elbows on her knees to cradle her head in her hands, boneless and tired. “Colt, how did we end up here?”

“Uhh, how did we end up at the hospital?” He watched her, warily. “El, did you hit your head too?”

“No. How did we end up here?”

He watched her, eyebrow raised, waiting to see if she would elaborate. When she didn’t, he sighed and crossed his hands over his chest. “You mean, the fact that you dumped me when I was locked up?”

“Colt, I was furious. And rightfully so.”

“I know. You were right to be pissed. Hell, you were right to kick me out.” He raked his hands through his hair.

“I was furious and then I stopped being mad. And started being sad.” She looked at her hands, trying to choose her words carefully. “And it was like you didn’t care. When you got out, you waited a week to see us and you hated me.”

“That’s not true.”

“It is true, it is, and our family fell apart.”

“I never hated you.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it!” She had to lower her voice; even though they were the only ones in the room, she didn’t want anyone walking by to hear the sobs of her broken heart. “You were so cold and so mean and you hated me, despised me. For months. I’m sorry that I was so mad but-”

“Stop it.” He turned to her, eyes fiery underneath the down-turned brow. “I never hated you. But you-”

“But I what, Colt? What the hell did I do?”

He looked forward again, staring at the television. “I came to see you, you know. The night I got out of jail. I came by the house.” He bit his lip, still avoiding her eyes. “I wanted to talk to you.”

“No, you didn't. I would have remembered that.”

“I did.” His arms were crossed and he looked past her, over her shoulder. “You weren't alone.”

“Of course I wasn't alone. I had Kira all the time.”

“No. That's not what I mean. You weren't alone.”

The realization was immediate. “Logan.”

He nodded and looked away, jaw set.

“Colt.... Colt.” Her eyes started to fill up with tears. “It wasn't like that. I was scared. I was scared and sad and alone and I thought you were gone. I thought you were gone and I thought I was a single mom and I really needed somebody. And you weren't there.”

He shrugged. His eyes were glassy, too. “Well, it didn't take you long to move on, did it now?”

“It wasn't like that.”

“Wasn’t it?”

They just stared at each other, the years and pain and heartbreak filling the space between them. Finally, Colt’s eyes dropped to the ground, to look at the magazine rack behind her, to look anywhere and everywhere but her.

She wiped a tear from her cheek. “What were you going to say?”

“What?”

“What were you going to say, the first time you came by?”

“Ellie, what the hell do you think I was going to say?” His voice shook slightly. “I wanted my family back. I wanted to move home. I wanted you.”

She sucked in a shuddery breath, tears coming faster now. “I would have said yes. Colt, I would have... I would have said yes.” She bit her lip, watching him take in her confession, saying nothing. The television continued to blare in the background, now the theme song of some game show. 

He opened his mouth. And reconsidered, thinking, before turning to her, serious look on his face. “Ellie, what if-”

“Excuse me.” They both turned, Colt leaping to his feet, as a nurse walked in. “You can come back now. The CT’s done.”

They arrived at her room to see the doctor hovering over her, Kira’s eyes open but blinking slowly. She looked drawn, exhausted. Ellie raced to her bedside, taking the tiny hand not encased in gauze and clutching it as tightly as she could.

“I’m ok, mom. I’m ok.” Kira was pale, propped up on pillows, bandage almost comically large for her small head.

“She really is ok. The good news is that it’s just a concussion. Scan revealed nothing abnormal so she should be fine, but she should stay here for observation tonight and then we can put her cast on tomorrow.” 

“They said I was tough and gave me a sticker.” Kira proudly showed off the unicorn on her shirt.

“You are tough, kid.” The doctor smiled kindly at her, and then turned to Ellie and Colt. “Would either of you like to spend the night as well?”

“I’m staying.” They both spoke in unison; Ellie shot a surprised glance over but Colt’s jaw was set, certain.

The doctor continued undaunted while scrawling on her clipboard. “I mean, you can both stay, it’s just a tiny room and the cots that we have are pretty small for two people.”

Ellie blinked as Colt answered for the both of them. “That’s fine.”

Ellie considered disagreeing but held her tongue. She almost spoke up when Kira slipped into a blissful sleep, painkillers and exhaustion taking hold. She almost spoke up again when the nurses gave her some scrubs to wear, pale blue and threadbare, but soft against her skin. She absolutely had to speak up when she saw the actual size of the cot.

“We’re not sleeping together on that.” It was made for one person, half the size of her bed at home, the bed that was hers alone and had been hers alone for years.

Colt dropped onto the mattress, frame squeaking as his long legs stretched. “What do you mean? I’ve seen you give birth, I think we can share a bed.”

She whacked him over the head, sitting down next to him with a huff.

“What, I can’t use your own words against you?”

“You’re incorrigible.” She looked down uncertainly. “I don’t think this will hold us both.”

He rested his hands under his head. Even though they had turned off the lights so Kira could sleep, monitors cast a eerie glow about the room. “It’ll be fine. And if it breaks and you get hurt, we’re already in the hospital.”

She rolled her eyes and stretched out, turning away from him but still acutely aware of his body, right behind her, warm and comforting and familiar. She shifted, trying to get comfortable in the tiny space, no room to move between Colt and the wall, hospital beeping and din doing battle with her tired mind. She was almost comfortable when Colt spoke. 

“What would you say now?” 

“Say now about what?” She turned to see him, profile visible in the dark as he stared up at the ceiling. “Huh?”

“If I told you I wanted to come home. In the waiting room...” He rubbed his palm over his lips. “In the waiting room, you said you would have said yes when I got outta jail. What would you say now? If I asked?”

Her stomach dropped. “Colt...” She sat up, elbow propped so she could study his face, the tears forming in his eyes. “Colt...do you want to come home?”

“More than anything.” He turned so he could face her fully. “Ellie, more than anything. I’m done with-”

The rest of the words were meaningless, mumbled and garbled as she leaned forward to press her lips to his. He pulled her closer, desperate, needy, hands flying over every inch of her as if to reassure himself that she was real.

His voice was hoarse when he pulled back. “You know how important family is to me. You know I don’t want to be my dad, you know this.”

“I know.”

“I’m sorry I fucked it up.” She could see the remorse painted on his face, remorse and pain and maybe a little hope too. 

“I know.” She laid down on the cot, dropping her head on his chest, weary exhaustion seeping into her bones. “I missed you.”

“I missed you, El.” He kissed her forehead. “I missed you and Kira and my family. Every day. This is what’s important to me.”

Her eyes were blinking slower now, hospital noise fading from her mind.

She almost didn't hear his whispered ‘I love you, El’ as she sank into darkness.

~~~~~~

Ellie was still in the place between sleep and waking, where everything was warm and quiet and still, mind and body just floating in space, when a familiar arm curved over her, sliding just under her breasts to settle by her rib cage. Her eyes shot open as the body behind her leaned close to nuzzle the curve of her neck, breath warm on her skin, and she heard the sleepy sigh that had once been so familiar, as familiar as her own name.

No one else held her like this. And she knew, in her hearts of hearts, that no one else would ever hold her like this again.

She spun around and Colt’s eyes blinked open unsteadily. “Colt?”

“Wha-?”

“I didn’t-” Her brain was fuzz, eyes unsteady as she took in the sterile walls, unfamiliar medical supplies. “Did I dream this?

His hand was still around her, now drawing patterns at the small of her back. “Dream what?”

“Are we back together?”

“Yeah, well, that was the good part of the night. Kira also got a concussion and needs a cast on her arm.”

"And that was the nightmare part of the evening.” She blinked, her recollection of the day slowing coming into focus behind her eyelids

He pulled her closer on the tiny bed. “But concussions heal. Bones heal. She’s gonna be ok.”

“Do families heal?” Her breath caught in her throat. “Are we gonna be ok?”

He was silent, through thirteen low beeps of a monitor while Ellie held her breath. Finally, he shook his head. “Not just ok. I think we’re gonna be great.”

She settled against his chest and sighed, his heartbeat matching the droning beeps above them, matching her own heartbeat in her ear. It was a weird place to find happiness but she thought that maybe, hopefully, finally, she had her family back.

~~~~~

Two years later...because the beginning of the beginning segues into the middle too...

Ellie was distracted, lost in her own head and her own circling thoughts, anxious fingers keeping busy by cleaning the kitchen counter, but even she couldn’t ignore Kira’s screech.

“Wait wait wait! I want my unicorn cup.” 

“Which unicorn cup?” Colt shook his head as he walked in, their daughter bouncing behind him.

“My favorite unicorn cup....duh, dad.”

Ellie laughed as Colt stretched high to grab the requested cup, the same cup that Kira hadn’t taken a sip from in over a year. The grin her seven year-old gave was blinding as she filled it with water and flounced away.

“Duh, dad,” Ellie echoed, knocking into his shoulder with a smile, appreciative of some distraction to get her mind of the treadmill of thoughts she had been on for the last few days.

“She sounds like a teenager.” 

“What if I wanted the unicorn cup, Colt?”

“We have seven unicorn cups, take your pick.” He groaned. “I’m gonna get her into motorcycles. We could start a motorcycle cup collection."

“Hmmm....or have a boy....” Ellie mused out loud.

When she realized what she said, her heart stopped, mouth falling open, She tried and failed to cover it up with a cough, her mind inadvertently flashing to the shopping bag hidden in a pile of clothes on the floor of her closet, the bag she hadn’t get had a chance to open, waiting for a moment alone when the house was quiet and still and she would have the appropriate solace for a life-changing moment. 

But of course, Colt noticed everything.

“Ellie?”

She said nothing, couldn’t get the words to come.

“Ellie? Is there something you’re not....” She watched his eyes widen and trail down to her stomach. He stepped closer, lips quirking into a brilliant smile. “Ellie?”

“I don’t know for sure! I wasn’t going to say anything until I was sure.”

“Oh my God, you’re pregnant.”

“I’m not sure but...” He swept her into a hug, lips finding hers; she was giggling and kissing and seriously, deliriously happy. “I think I’m pregnant.”

“It’s a boy.”

“How are you so sure? I don’t even know if I’m really-”

“I know.” He smirked, leaning in to trail his lips up her jaw. “I know everything.”

“Really.”

“I know you’re pregnant.” Soft hands pulled her against him.

“Ok.”

“I know it’s a boy.” Soft lips traced the underside of her chin.

“Ok....”

“And I know you’re gonna marry me.”

She leaned away to look into his eyes, heart stopping. “You haven’t asked.” Her mind flashed to before, years ago, a distant memory of finding a ring by his bedside when she thought she was as happy as she could ever be.

He winked at her, cocky and sure. “I know. But you’re gonna.” Suddenly, she felt even younger, 18 again, watching a boy with a motorcycle take on the world. But this time, she was by his side.

“That’s not a proposal.”

He shrugged, stepping back and moving to follow Kira out of the room. “I know.”

“Wait.” She turned, unable to stop the grin from spreading over her face. “Just wait a second.”

“You’ll see. I know everything.” And with that, he was gone, out of the room, leaving behind more questions than answers.

She stood, frozen on the spot, staring at the space he just vacated, grin spreading over her face until she thought her cheeks would split in two. 

She thought it was a lie that broken bones healed stronger.

But maybe families did.

And maybe right now was actually as happy as she had ever been.

Tags: @choicesseptemberchallenge  

Perma @leelee10898 @emichelle @client-327

ROD @omgjasminesimone @mskaneko

Colt

@deimosensblog @alegria1580  @choicesarehard @thefarrari @moonlit-girl-wonder @going-down-downtown@soniadotalves@jolietmaraud @choicesgremlin @flowerpowell@poeticscolt @brightpinkpeppercorn @zaira-oh-zaira @umiumichan @akrenich @sibella-plays-choices  @maxwellsquidsuit  @liamzigmichael4ever @octobereighth @i-only-signed-up-for-fanfiction

[dolphin-enthusiast]

good evening to you, sunshine! 💌✨🐤 how has your day gone?? hopefully it was good, that's what you deserve after all!! i was able to get some tasks done today, and luckily it was actually enjoyable! 💫 (1/9)

"all of you anons out there asked such funny and sweet things today,, i got a good kick out of them hehe,, the one about shinobu and kira made me laugh for a good 6 minutes (even if i'm not the biggest kira fan hehe) and the one asking for autographs made me giggle a bit,, i'm not sure why people would want my autograph, but whatever makes them happy i guess! (though with how amazing you are,, i wouldn't be surprised if people want your autograph 😘)(2/9)

also, to the one anon who was worried about how i am after the incident,, i assure you, i'm doing okay,, sure, it was very scary, but i've been through worse situations in the past,, don't worry about me!! and to the old follower anon, thank you for for being so kind!! of course you're invited to the wedding sweetie! 💕 (3/9)

oh, and i was not at all expecting such a positive response to that little post of mine,, i assure you i am not that photogenic or pretty 😅 just a lucky shot i guess?? ah boh,, darling you are to good to me, no? and the same goes for all of those other anons out there 💞💞 you truly know how to flatter me morgy dear!! (4/9)

now then,, my day was pretty nice i suppose, nothing special!! i finally got to practice my dancing again, which felt nice after having to lie down for so long,, and i got to cook again too!! ooh, and i helped my papa start the process of making plum wine!! i had to help crush up lots and lots of plums and grapes,, and we're gonna ferment it for a total of 2 months, before bottling and aging half of the bottles for 6 more months,, (5/9)

though the winemaking process is very long, it will be so worth it in the end!! 🌹plum wine has a nice, not overly sweet, full bodied and mellow flavor,, my mamma loves to use it in so many recipes!! plum wine has to be one of my favorite wines, maybe because i grew up with it,, my nonna used it in cakes, spritzers, and occasionally sauces! ahhh it really does take me back,, perhaps we can share a bottle sometime? that sounds like a lovely idea to me~ 💘 (6/9)

my gardener neighbor is gone for two weeks, and tasked me with taking care of his garden and his 5 pet bunnies,, awaaaa they're so cute!! i've been giving them little nicknames to remember them, my favorite bunny is a dark grey one,, i named him chippy since his one ear has a tiny chip in it hehe,, and i must say, his garden is very impressive in person!! its huge and full of vegetables/fruits! (7/9)

he said that when he returns, he would pay me and give me some of his produce, but i'd honestly do it for free, it's very fun and i would love to make it a long term job! 🌺 ah, and one last thing that i'm sure you'll be very happy to hear dolcezza,, i'm starting to get into ace attorney !! so far from what i've seen, i absolutely adore edgeworth and franziska,, and phoenix too hehe! i really love it even though i haven't dug too deep yet, and i'm very excited to see more! 😊 (8/9)

mamma mia,, i apologize for those little rambles of mine,, i know they tend to annoy some people 😖 oh my, it's 2:57 as i finish this,, time to get some sleep i suppose?? well then, until tomorrow my love! buonanotte, e sogni d'oro~!! 💗💗💗💗💗 - much love as always, waifu xoxo 😊😘😍🌺💕💞💌💋💘✨ ps: i'll make it a promise to visit countries with you amore 💖 (9/9)"

Darling no matter how many times u try uno reversing me i'll keep saying this: UR the wig snatching one here and tbh i'd say that was no lucky shot bc from what other pics u posted i can confirm that u are indeed vogue worthy😩✌️

On another one i think i tasted plum wine before?? Here we have another type of traditional plum (and other fruits sometimes such as pears) drink thats v e r y strong shxhxhx but either way we will def share a bottle (AND travel countries) someday 👁️👁️ and i swear ur way too kind for ur own good dear, constantly helpin out ppl like dat ahxhxhdh we S T A N sis (u can be just too cute with all those nicknames u give to animals and such)

ALSO HOLY SHIT IM SO HAPPY U GOT INTO ACE ATTORNEY SGAGSXGXGXGXXH ITS DEADASS ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAVE GAMES BRUH😤😤😤 i will do my best not to spoil shit since my dumbass finished the entire series back in june and i can get v e r y hyped but like... amazing taste darling my chaotic edgeworth simp ass approves (also franziska is best girl everyone who hates on her has a small pp)

[multimetaverse]

Andi Mack 3x18 Review

Something To Talk A-Boot was a pretty good ep that was surprisingly fillery and made apparent the cracks in the show’s writing. Let’s dig in!

We got some great Tyrus scenes that more than made up for the crappy writing we’ve seen the last two Tyrus eps. For once they got to end on a happy note which was much appreciated. We returned to the same fun and flirty dynamic we saw before costume day and it’s like that whole mess never happened (which I’ll discuss more in the negatives). 

We’re back to the confident and flirty TJ we had been seeing up until costume day and it’s good that the show has abandoned it’s incredibly ill advised and poorly done internalized homophobia story line which is necessary because Tyrus can’t canon in the finale if TJ and Cyrus aren’t both comfortable with themselves and with each other. Luckily for the show, most of the audience will never know what the hell was going on with TJ in eps 13 and 15 and will just ignore it as bad writing. 

Lot’s of completely unnecessary touching between Tyrus in this ep like holding on to each others shoulders after the verdict and TJ tapping Cyrus as he was putting his seat belt on. I was pleasantly surprised by the full on hug we got; I didn’t think Terri would get a hug approved in this ep and be able to get hand holding approved in the finale but looks like she pulled it off. It made for a rare rule of three for Cyrus as we saw three increasingly gay hugs between him and TJ this season. I loved the whole you’ll visit me on the inside bit, that’s the kind of thing only couples say. 

Man was that Tyrus golf cart scene ever romantic. Just pure flirty fluff and it was wonderful to see. Really the only reason TJ stole the golf cart again and drove off to find Cyrus was to flirt with him. It’s the closest a show with 14 year olds can get to a classic drive off into the sunset ending. Has there ever been a better nerd/jock ship? The golf cart scene was a perfect encapsulation of their dynamic and showed such growth on Cyrus’ part from the scared kid who couldn’t imagine breaking the rules to the more confident self TJ has helped him become. It’s a bittersweet thought but even though a good chunk if not most of the audience still thinks Tyrus is a friendship or one sided crush, everyone who ever starts the show after the finale will know that Tyrus is a romantic relationship and for them subtext will be text from the very start. 

I think it was very deliberate that all of TJ’s scenes were at the school, we needed to see him interacting like normal with Cyrus at the place they’ll spend most of their time. This ep really was in many ways a glimpse of what canon Tyrus will be like after they get together and come out to the world; supportive, flirty, comfortable.

They really took advantage of Luke being 17 and a good driver. I wonder if ‘leggo’’ was in the script or if that was a Luke ad lib.

This was the last confirmed ep they ever filmed at the school and there’s an extremely good chance that the very wholesome and very gay Tyrus golf cart scene was the last scene we’ll ever see at the school. Which is a hell of a way to say goodbye to the school. 

We got just under 5 minutes of Tyrus screen time and just over 5 and a half minutes of total TJ screen time this ep (excluding TJ cheering in the stands). This is the most he’s had since 3x06 and may actually be the most he’s had or will have all season. And this was more Tyrus screen time than we’ve had in 3x11, 3x13, and 3x15 combined which is a damning indictment of Disney’s censorship. Partly this was likely because the writers were trying to pad his screen time a bit since he was originally supposed to be gone for 3 eps in a row instead of 2. Funnily enough, because his story line was left intact even with the cut ep and re-shoots it now looks as though he may actually get a little more screen time in these final 7 eps than Marty does.

It’s impressive too because all of TJ’s scenes were filmed over two days; it makes such a difference when they’re actually allowed to have him on set for more than one day and that they let Luke and Josh actually have scenes together and took advantage of them being older and able to work longer hours.

This ep really built TJ’s character back up and it’s easy to see that the writers knew they had to get the audience back on TJ’s side and remind them of his and Cyrus’ dynamic especially since he was supposed to have been gone for 3 eps in a row instead of 2. 

Josh did a great job hamming it up at the trial. Loved the ‘’you’re showboating’’ ‘’thank you for noticing your honour’’ bit. And Cyrus adding ‘’sir’’ when he was pretending to respond to himself from the witness box was good too. Love that Cyrus took the time to change back into a suit before hearing the verdict.

It makes such a difference for Cyrus’ character is TJ is in an ep or not and I don’t even mean from a shipping perspective. In non TJ eps Cyrus is almost always reduced to therapist friend or comic relief, when TJ is an ep he usually gets to be an active character and actually get to do things. 

We had Buffy saying he used to be the worst and is now the best and Cyrus taking credit for seeing the good in him which was a nice reminder of the amazing growth TJ has had. And of course, there was no real reason to have TJ be the one to help Buffy get to class except to make him look good in the audience’s eyes.

I know a lot of people wanted to see more of Buffy and TJ’s friendship but I’m fine with their brief interactions. The only reason he had so much time with her in S2 and why the end of S2 set up a friendship between them was because Garren had left and they didn’t know they could get him back.

Such great growth on Buffy’s part from the girl who wouldn’t even pass the baton to her team mates back in S1. The Spikes have largely been treated as a joke but we really saw a great dynamic between them and Buffy tonight; they all felt like a real team for the first time ever. And it was interesting seeing Buffy’s room and seeing her doing normal teen stuff with people outside of the GHC. Glad the Spikes got a win and glad Buffy was able to bounce back from her injury and snatch victory from the jaws of defeat. 

Very sweet last scene between Jonah and Amber, it was a nice call back to 2x01 when Amber confided in Jonah about her family’s money problems. It was messy but they did help and support each other. I’m happy that Jonah will now be in a more secure place. 

This was also the last confirmed ep they filmed at the Spoon and Jonah watching Amber get him a milkshake is a sweet way to say goodbye to a location that was almost a character in and of itself. We also got to see one last glimpse of the ginger waitress who we’ve seen in a couple of eps.

I liked that Jonah pointed out how well the GHC know each other; he’s a part of the friend group but he’s always stood apart from the GHC itself. 

I also liked that Jonah didn’t know what an existential crisis was. Always funny when they lean into dumb Jonah. 

Jonah and Andi had a sweet scene; glad he’s self aware enough to know he’s not a good advice giver. Liked the callback to Jonah scaring Andi. 

Bex is doing her best. Andi is definitely reacting like a teen. 

No Kira this ep which was great.

Shout out to the FBI and SLPD for shrinking the gap between TJ’s appearances. As much as cutting Ham has ended up damaging the other story lines it will definitely make Cyrus’ story line age much better. Having TJ be gone for 3 eps in a row only to come back after the wedding and only being able to have this kind of screen time and nice scenes after the wedding is so transparent that even kids would have noticed why that was.

Negatives:

I plan to have a happy finale night so I’m going to get my criticism of Terri’s handling of Tyrus out of the way now. I’ve seen quite a few posts on different social media sites wondering if TJ was in the cut ep and that’s why Kira isn’t mentioned or if there were cut Tyrus scenes but the plain simple truth is that this is just bad writing, some of the worst Terri has done. It’s not a satisfying explanation but it’s reality. 

I’d like to hear Terri one day explain what she thought she was going to accomplish with this internalized homophobia plot line on a show with so many restrictions and with an audience that doesn’t know TJ is gay. I don’t think there is a good explanation but I would like to know what the hell she was thinking. She’s always shown such care with the gay story line and to just drop the ball so badly when the show is almost done is more sad than anything else. Thank god Disney let her have canon Tyrus in the finale.

It’s clear from the writing of S3 that they knew from the very start that Tyrus couldn’t canon until the finale, if at all. It’s been nothing but drama that keeps them apart up until now: Buffy is still kind of mad at TJ, Reed had a gun, Jonah is mad at TJ, Bubbe Rose dies, Kira comes in. TJ isn’t even involved with the Spikes after 3x04 and barely had any scenes with Buffy and he hasn’t had a single scene with Jonah since so it’s not like those plots were meant to have an impact. And Terri would have known that TJ could only be in 9 eps max this season and she was the one who cast a 14 year old to play Kira, knowing that Raquel just wouldn’t be able to be on set nearly as long as Luke which of course she did because she knew it didn’t matter how old she was because Kira and TJ would have limited screen time anyways. And she would have known that the look back had been edited to make it look like TJ was straight and yet she still went ahead. 

Honestly, Terri is lucky that most of the audience will never know that TJ was supposed to be struggling with his sexuality in 3x13-3x15 because if they did this story line would come off as much worse than it does for them. I can buy that she wouldn’t have known how far she could go with canon Tyrus until close to the finale itself but that just makes her decisions even more baffling. If she ends up being able to have a textual ending then she has to have TJ be confident or it just won’t make sense. But if Disney said no to canon Tyrus then there’s no way they would have let her properly explore an internalized homophobia arc anyways which makes it all pointless. 

Now that we’ve seen up until 18 we can see just how defensive Terri’s instagram post back in November about not complaining about Disney censorship or queerbaiting was. At the time all she had actually accomplished was Cyrus saying the word gay which was historic and wonderful but only one ep. There’s obvious censorship by Disney and it would have been even more apparent if it wasn’t for Stoney’s arrest. And up until now there’s really nothing differentiating  Tyrus from queerbaiting as Cyrus hasn’t even been able to say he has a crush on TJ. I know she’ll do a good job with Tyrus in the finale but I really hope she doesn’t do something egregiously bad with Kira’s ‘redemption’

It doesn’t make sense that no one would mention Kira. We had TJ scenes over 4 days in universe and no Kira in sight. So either she’s not clinging to him or he told her off. It’s all just so her appearance at the party can make Cyrus flee to the bench for one last bit of contrived drama. 

We finally ended the very poorly plotted Jamber arc. It’s clear that they first decided to get Jamber back together, likely to keep Jandi apart and as a shocking twist, and then worked backwards from there to figure out how to make it plausible and settled on Jonah also having financial issues. The problem being is that those financial problems were largely ignored and we never got an in depth exploration of Jonah or Amber’s psychology. It’s not like they didn’t have time for it since Amber set a new record for recurring characters, excepting S2 Bowie. It’s hard to say Amber has had a true arc over the series. She definitely got nicer but we’ve only really gotten character development from her these past couple of eps. She’s in the same place she was back in 2x01, newly broken up with Jonah, with parents who fight, and forced to work at the Spoon to help support her family. 

Loved that the Spikes were watching footage of their game with the Spartans, which hadn’t happened yet, at their sleep over. Back in the S2 finale when Buffy announced that she was founding a girls team I never imagined that they would be written as a joke and barely shown. I’d guess that was another casualty of them being able to get Marty back for S3.

Looking Ahead:

I’m a lot more content with the show ending after S3 after seeing these recent eps. There’s been way too much filler and a lot of bizarre decisions. Yes the cut ep and the re-shoots hurt a lot of plots but it doesn’t seem like the originals were all that much better. It’s clear that the Muffy plot in 3x17 ended after the bowling alley and Amber’s plot ended with her leaving Cyrus’ house which means that Marty went with Buffy as her date to the wedding in the original 3x18 only to friendzone her and tell her to get her foot checked. And Amber still went with Jonah even though she knew he had been lying to her and they only broke up at the wedding. I’m sure the Mack family A plot would have been great but the B and C plots look like they would have sucked. 

Terri’s never had a show that went beyond 2 seasons and I think in some ways she struggled with plotting out 21 eps worth of story lines. Better to end now when the show will go down as historic then drag it down in a potential S4. And better for Terri’s reputation as well, she gets to end the show as a visionary whereas if we got a S4 she’d likely end up with more of a Michael Jacob’s type reputation. 

Also this ep shows that any hope for seeing canon Tyrus in S4 was just a dream. Disney is clearly only willing to let things get textual in the finale itself. Even Mack Chat didn’t mention Cyrus once tonight despite him having a big role in the ep. An odd game Disney plays with showing the bench scene in promos but not letting Mack Chat get too gay. 

New finale promo sheds a little more light on things. Two Cyrus waving scenes, probably one is before the bench scene and one is after. Bench scene starts with some extras near the fire and once they leave is when things get textual. TJ and Marty will probably have an interaction after both Tyrus and Muffy canon. Looks like there doing something with Jandi but again I don’t think we get canon Jandi, just something ambiguous. Bowie and Bex dancing in the back ground, Bowie in his dad’s tux and Bex possibly in her wedding dress. Obviously they’re already married but it’s probably them re-creating the wedding they had planned for but didn’t end up having.

Next ep is one with a ton of re-shoots and should feature the new wedding. We’ll see how smooth it is. My one hope is that we get some word that Jonah has told his parents about his panic attacks, even if it’s off screen. 

[440mxs-wife]

The Hunter’s Princess - Chapter 7: Leaps of Faith

Pairing: Dean x OFC Kira (eventual), Prince!Dean x OFC Lady Kira. Other Characters: Sam Winchester, Prince!Sam Winchester, Castiel, Rowena, Gabriel, King!John, Queen!Mary, Lucifer and assorted minor characters.

Chapter 7 Word Count: 3280+

Warnings: More Feelings. Otherwise, none really.

A/N: This is from some material that’s been rattling around in my head from another project that changed direction. Couldn’t let all this content go to waste, though, so here it is. It’s a work-in-progress, and I will try and update as regularly as I can. If you want to be tagged in this series, send me a message!

A/N2: I would like to thank everyone for your support and your comments so far. I hope you are enjoying this as much as I am having fun writing it.

Thank you and happy reading!

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"There you are!" a voice cried out. Kira shrieked in surprise to find that Sarah was sitting in a chair in the corner waiting. Her eyes were wide with relief, and Kira could see she'd been crying.

"Sarah, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to worry you. I woke up a little after midnight and felt much better. I couldn't sleep, so I wandered down to the stables, where Prince Dean found me. We sat in the garden and talked for awhile, then he walked me back here," Kira explained. "When I left, you looked so relaxed, sleeping in your chair. I didn't want to wake you, so I tiptoed past you and out the door. Is Lady Rowena in her room?" Kira finished.

"Yes, Miss. I believe that she is. I told her how sorry I was that I lost track of you, but  she told me not to worry, that you know how to take care of yourself.  Still, I was responsible for you, and I failed in my duties. I'll just go now," she  said.

Kira put her hand on Sarah's arm. "Sarah, you have done no such thing!" Kira gently admonished. "There is no need for you to go. Please stay. I appreciate your dedication, but Lady Rowena's right. I do know how to take care of myself. Now, let's get some sleep, because we have a big day ahead of us. It's the equestrian event, and I found which horse I want to ride. That's what I was doing in the stables tonight, evaluating my options for a mount for the competition," Kira explained.

"As you wish, Miss. Goodnight," Sarah replied. "And....thank you."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The next morning was much like the previous day, crisp and cool, but not cold, with bright blue skies as far as the eye could see. Kira got dressed in her riding gear and walked to the stables to meet with Collins.

"Good morning, Lady Kira," he greeted her with a bow.

"Good morning, Collins. Lovely day for a ride, hmm?" she replied.

"Absolutely, Lady Kira. One of my stable hands, Logan, told me you visited the stables last night," Collins remarked.

Kira froze. Did Logan see or hear anything that went on between Prince Dean and me? Quickly recovering, Kira explained that she did come out to the stables to see which horse would be the best for her today.

"And have you chosen? Which horse shall you compete with today?" Collins asked.

"I would like Midnight to be my mount for today's competition," Kira announced.

Collins grinned. "I  thought you might, Lady Kira. His Majesty, Prince Dean, stopped by this morning to let  me know. Midnight is all saddled up and ready to go for you," he replied with a wink.

"Thank you, Collins. I'll be back for him when it's my turn at the course," she promised, a blush crossing her cheeks.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Kira approached the stable area, which was full of horses and their lady riders. She felt a tapping on her shoulder, which caused her to turn around. Collins bowed and handed her a set of reins leading to Midnight. "Good morning, old friend. How are you today?" Kira cooed as she rubbed his head.

Collins cleared his throat behind me. "Beggin' your pardon, Lady Kira, but it's your turn at the course. Good luck, Miss. We're all cheering for ye," he said with a nudge.

Kira smiled as she climbed up into the saddle for Midnight and got comfortable. One of the stable hands adjusted  the stirrups until they were the right length. Suddenly there was a loud noise nearby, like a small explosion. Midnight reared backward, threatening to throw his rider, but Kira pulled back on the reins tightly and gripped with her knees.

Logan and one of the other stable hands noticed what was happening and rushed over to help. "Whoa, boy. Shh, it's okay, Midnight," Kira soothed as she rubbed his neck. He seemed to calm down after that and she was able to keep her seat in the saddle.

"Ready to go, boy? Let's do this," Kira whispered to him with a grin. Since she placed first in yesterday's competition, she was the last competitor in today's event. Kira nudged Midnight in the direction of the field to start the course. All she had to do was hit every jump and do so in a shorter time than the person currently in first place.

The first couple of jumps were low, so they helped to get Midnight warmed up for the higher ones. As Kira got farther into the course, it felt like she and Midnight had never spent all that time apart. It was just as she remembered when she used to ride with him all over Aunt Brenda's farm, when they were so in tune with each other. Kira swore he knew what she was thinking and could tell which direction he had to go next.

Kira finished the course to a standing ovation from the crowd, including a polite reaction from the royal family. She locked eyes with Prince Dean, who had a look of utter admiration on his face. Kira bowed her head in the direction of  the royal box in deference to the king, queen and two princes. Then she pulled on Midnight's reins so that he reared up and Kira raised her hand in victory.

Kira left the competition field and headed back to the stables. She handed the reins  to Logan, who assisted her with her dismount. Prince Dean was the first one to her side. "Absolutely stunning performance, Lady Kira!" he shouted, picking her up and spinning her around in his arms. "I'm so proud of you, sweetheart," he remarked softly in Kira's ear, his breath hot against her skin. "I'll see you tonight at dinner," he mumbled against her neck.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Dean walked into the library to see Sam and Lady Kira with their noses firmly planted within the lore books. "You two find anything yet?" he asked.

Lady Kira looked up to meet his steady emerald gaze. His palm was resting flat on the table, so she reached over and covered his hand with hers. She gently squeezed his hand and gave him a small smile, which Dean briefly returned. "Next lunar eclipse is in five days. Right now we're trying to find the ingredients we need to activate the powers of the locket," she explained.

"And the symbols we need to draw--" Sam started to say as he scrambled to find the right book. "--look like this. (Picture is the symbol Surgat, who opens all locks)

“So it's this sigil, the candles, ingredients and the locket. And it has to be done when the lunar eclipse is at its fullest. Now, we need to find the words to the spell we need to say," Sam mentioned.

Dean studied the page Sam gave him. "This doesn't look too difficult to draw. I'll start setting things up so when you know the ingredients, we won't be wasting any time," Dean remarked.

"Actually, Dean, I could use a break, stretch my legs a little. I'll go set up the altar, draw the symbols and place the candles. Maybe you could help Lady Kira find the list of ingredients. Please?" Sam said as he gave his brother the dreaded puppy-eyes look.

Dean rolled his eyes at his brother. "Oh, get out of here with that, Sam. Go, take your study break if you need one," he muttered. Dean turned to Lady Kira. "Why don't you take one too? I'll start scanning through these books. As unlikely as it is, maybe the two of you missed something in these books," he said.

"What about contacting Gabriel? He brought back a message from my world, and we have information that will be needed on that end so all can return here. Should we try and summon him?" Lady Kira asked.

"Let's see what we can find in the books before we do that. I want to make sure we have all of the information we need, in case we only get one chance to contact him," Dean replied.

Lady Kira took a moment to study Dean as his eyes went back to scanning the pages. He must have felt her eyes upon him, because he stopped reading and turned to her. "What is it?" he asked.

"I don't mean to stare, sorry. I have a feeling that being around me makes you uncomfortable," Lady Kira observed.

Dean's eyes softened. "I should apologize. You don't make me uncomfortable, it's this whole situation that's making me crazy. I-I don't know where she--my Kira--is, if she's okay, or hurt, or scared....she was taken away from me before I could tell her...." he trailed off. She could see his eyes were glassy with unshed tears.

Lady Kira reached over and took his hand again in hers. "If she was here, what would you tell her?"

Dean took a deep breath and let it out before answering. "I'd take her hands in mine, and I'd say....'Sweetheart, we've known each other almost our whole lives. Been the best of friends for so long. My strong, beautiful, brave Kira--I love you. You're my first thought as soon as my eyes open in the morning and my last thought before my head hits the pillow at night. And no day is complete without one of your magnificent smiles, my love. You're my everything, and if you'll let me, I want to be yours'," he finished softly.

"Wow," Lady Kira whispered. "You should definitely tell her that. I mean, ALL of that. Your Kira is a most fortunate woman to have someone love her as much as you do. When I get back, I hope I can find that 'once-in-a-lifetime' kind of love that you have with her," she remarked.

A soft smile crossed Dean's lips. "You will. I can tell that the two of you are so much alike. Not just in looks, but you care about people the way she does. You would do anything for family, and when you love someone, it's with your whole heart," he replied.

All of a sudden, Dean jumped up from his chair and snapped his fingers. "I just remembered something. There were two boxes of lore books among Kira's parents' belongings. I'll bet the secret to that locket is somewhere in those books," he said as he called for Sam down the hall.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Lady Serena quickly dismounted her horse and stomped over to where Kira was standing. "How did you do that?? My run was nearly perfect, then you just happen to edge me out of winning? Not only that, but I was told that the horse you rode was new. To everyone's knowledge, he's never been ridden by anyone here at the castle," she charged at Kira, eyes blazing.

"As you said, your run was 'nearly perfect'. Mine was spot on perfect. That's the difference," Kira shot back. "Besides, Midnight knows me from before he arrived here. A family member of mine owned him first, and I never missed a chance to ride. Not that I should have to justify or explain myself to you about anything," Kira retorted.

Lady Serena advanced on Kira until there was little distance between them. "See, I'm wondering if you have some other kind of....advantage. Magic, maybe? From that locket of yours??" she reached to grab the locket from around Kira's neck, but Kira ducked out of the way just in time. The courtyard had started to fill up with people wanting to congratulate Kira, so the two women separated. "This isn't over yet, Lady Kira," she muttered under her breath.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The crowd of well-wishers after the equestrian competition grew around Kira. Fortunately, they served to increase the distance between her and Lady Serena. Kira turned her head and saw Rowena standing next to the stairway and the two women locked eyes. Rowena silently indicated that there was something to discuss up in their quarters. Kira fought her way through the crowd and up the stairs to her room, with Rowena right behind her.

When they got up to Kira's room, she relayed what had happened between her and Lady Serena in the courtyard. Rowena shared her concerns about how close Lady Serena came to getting the locket and about Lucifer still being a threat. Kira sat down on the bed, staring at the floor and tried to figure out  what to do next.

"What do you propose we do, Rowena? I can handle Lady Serena, but I'm no match for Lucifer, and he knows that," she remarked.

"I've been thinking about this. What if I work up a spell  to produce an exact copy of your locket, Kira, and we leave it in your room? Of course, we'll make sure the real one is in a safe place. Meanwhile, it will seem to Lucifer that you've let your guard down in all the  excitement with the Princes' Challenge," she began.

"So, if he doesn't see it on me, he'll search my room, only to find the copy. But, won't he be able to tell right away that it's fake?" Kira asked.

Rowena shook her head. "I'll have to embed some charms in it, so that when he touches it, he'll recognize it has some magical ability, but won't know what kind of magic. By the time he figures out that it's not the real one, we'll be back home, with timelines restored," she explained triumphantly.

"That could work. Okay, Rowena, get to work on making the copy and let me know if there's anything you need," Kira said. "Sarah, will you please arrange for a bath for me? I need to get cleaned up before dinner," she asked.

"Of course, Miss," she replied as she hurried off to make the arrangements.

"After this, there's the round of interviews with the king and queen. Lastly, there's the royal ball, where the princes will announce their choice for a bride. I'll need Gabriel's help with the dancing, but that can wait till tomorrow," Kira remarked tiredly.

"I checked my book, and I have all of the ingredients for the duplication spell. I'll get to work right away after dinner," Rowena promised.

Sarah came back in to let Kira know that her bath was ready, so she went in to freshen up. For dinner, she dressed in a pale peach satin gown with a tulle overlay on the skirt. Kira stepped into a pair of pale peach ballet flats. The finishing touch was to pin her hair up on one side with a butterfly clip. Satisfied with her appearance, Kira and Rowena went down the stairs to the dining room.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Sam and Dean each deposited a box of books on top of the table in the library. "Whatever we need has got to be in one of these books, I'm almost positive," Dean remarked.

"Well, let's get cracking then," Sam replied. "Hey, where's Lady Kira?" he asked as he looked around the library.

Dean looked around as well, but didn't see her. "We weren't gone that long, so she couldn't have gone far. You check the bedroom, I'll check the kitchen," he said as they went their separate ways.

As Dean walked towards the kitchen, he heard another voice in addition to that of Lady Kira. He carefully tiptoed closer until he recognized Lady Kira's companion as Gabriel. Dean relaxed and paused in the doorway to the kitchen and caught the most heavenly aroma. "There you are, I wondered where you'd disappeared to. What's cooking?" he asked as he sniffed the air.

Lady Kira's eyes brightened and her face broke into a smile at seeing the elder Winchester. "Oh, hi! I thought you guys might be hungry, so I came in here to see what I had to work with to make some dinner," she explained.

"Really? So what did you find?" Dean asked.

"I found enough components to make a beef stew, with potatoes, carrots and onions," Lady Kira answered with a smile.

Dean turned his attention to Gabriel and said, "We need to talk."

"I would hope so. I was starting to miss your sparkling conversation, so I popped in to see what you and Samsquatch have found. I'm all ears, Dean-o," Gabriel smirked.

"We need to get a message to Kira and Rowena in the other world. We figured out how to return everyone to their rightful plane of existence," Dean replied. "According to Lady Kira here, the locket operates on a lunar cycle. It's only activated during the height of a lunar eclipse, which is scheduled to occur within the next five days," he explained.

"I'll assume that there's more than just Kira having the locket in her possession and being in the right place at the right time," Gabriel muttered.

Dean nodded. "There's a sigil associated with this, plus some other ingredients. We found some old lore books that Kira's parents kept, that Sam and I put in the library. We're pretty sure that at least one of those books will have the list of ingredients we'll need. Hopefully they're not too exotic," Dean mumbled.

"So, what did you want me to tell Kira?" Gabriel asked with a smirk.

"Tell Kira and Rowena what we found out about the locket and how to activate it. Also about how much time we have and everything else I told you," Dean retorted.

"Anything else? Special message made only for Kira's ears, perhaps?" Gabriel grinned.

Lady Kira caught Dean's eyes and silently pleaded with him to give Gabriel a message that was about more than just spells and the lore. Dean cleared his throat before speaking. "Um, yeah. Tell her that I love her and that Sam and I won't stop until she's back safe in my arms," he finished.

Dean winked at Lady Kira, then looked defiantly at Gabriel. It was almost as if he was daring Gabriel to torment him for revealing the feelings the archangel knew were there all the time. At this point, Dean didn't care. All he wanted was for his Kira to return home, safe and sound.

"All righty then. I'll let them know about the locket, and I'll make sure Kira gets your message," Gabriel replied. He caught Dean's eye, gave him a knowing smile and a quick nod, then clapped a hand on Dean's shoulder. A flapping of wings and Gabriel disappeared.

Lady Kira walked over to stand in front of Dean and put her hands on his shoulders. She laid one hand aside his cheek and smiled. "I'm proud of you, Dean. That couldn't have been easy, taking a leap of faith like that," she remarked.

"Yeah, you got that right," he grinned sheepishly. He looked into Lady Kira's eyes and brushed a lock of hair behind her ear. As if on instinct, their faces inched ever closer to each other, only for Dean to look away at the last second. "I'm sorry," he rasped. "I shouldn't have done that. It's just....you're here, and you are so like her. But my heart beats only for my Kira," he affirmed.

Lady Kira's thumb stroked his cheek as she gave him a small smile. "It's okay, Dean. I understand, really. You're an honorable man, and Kira's lucky to have you," she replied then turned her focus back to the stove. "Dinner should be ready soon, would you please tell Sam?" she asked.

Dean nodded, then left the room in search of his brother. Lady Kira let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. As much as Lady Kira wanted to feel Dean's lips on hers, she knew he didn't belong to her, and never would.

Part 8 here!

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The Hunter’s Princess Series Tags: @supernatural-love14