#king poker online
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longdeadking · 10 months ago
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i think everyone is overloking the fact that the seven year gap perfectly lines up with covid. i know we're all a little tired of it and writing about covid can be hard and depressing but CONSIDER. on top of all the other shit phoenix is dealing with he also has to be in lockdown
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bambifornia · 8 months ago
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huuUOOoLRgGghh fiinnne I can't stay away from you all
i bring more autobot!swindle. plus my attempt at writing his backstory
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disclaimer : most of the stuff below isn't canon i just wrote this for fun. if u guys wanna make ur own swindle backstories i invite yall to do so :D we will make our own swindle content
swindle came online during cybertron's early years of the age of expansion. the autobots (with their goal to expand cybertron's empire) engineered a set of bots who would serve cybertron as its intergalactic merchants, programmed to be ambitious bots who sought profit. they also came with bigger processors (for storing transactions and whatnot) and versatile frames (so they could withstand organic climates)
shortly after coming online, swindle was assigned a teacher (another merchant) who'd pass down the knowledge of the trade. swindle did his best to keep up with his lessons
as a student, swindle was determined and clever. as a bot, though...eughh...
- he had less of a filter, and didn't know how to keep a poker face
- his little new England accent used to be a lot thicker (think earthspark swindle)
- very friendly, had a lot of amicas back in the day (he was definitely the "I know a bot" guy). it was a struggle for him to keep quiet
- loved hands on activities, hated sitting still
- kept a journal detailing his intergalactic trips. tried to doodle any organics he found interesting
- LOVED shiny stuff. he was like a crow lmao
- his sharp glossa would sometimes get his aft beat
- despite being a chatterbox, he wasn't as suave back then. he'd often get himself in awkward situations, which he'd try to talk himself out of the embarrassment but he'd end up digging a deeper hole for himself
- petty king. also kinda nosy and had a thing for gossip
- loved pranking, and teased the bots he liked
once he was ready, swindle was given a ship and assigned a trading post (as a starting point). from that point, swindle was a rootin tootin merchant and nothing bad ever happened to him again :D...
...
until the quintessa skirmishes
the age of expansion ended with border disputes between cybertron and quintessa. multiple skirmishes sproutted along the border, and while swindle didn't fight in them, he was certainly caught in the crossfire. swindle ended up with a broken ship, a looted inventory, and a bungled up frame. he had to return to cybertron for repairs
back on cybertron, swindle finds a planet wildly different from the one he knows. tensions between autobots and decepticons are rising, and the banks aren't holding up that great. swindle finds himself in a tight spot (financially speaking) since he still has to deal with his losses from quintessa. unable to go back to his actual merchant job, swindle resorts to taking odd jobs to keep himself afloat (yes, even stealing)
when the war breaks out, swindle gets drafted into the front lines (a decision that still baffles him to this day). since he's not much of a fighter, the autobots have swindle work as a spy, ordering him to smuggle weapons out of decepticon servos...
in future hindsight, that was a poor decision
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wrapping it up here because i don't want this post to get too long LMAO but I still have more ideas for him if yall are interested. just know that this is not the end of swindle lore
ALSO I finally came up with autobot!swindle designations :D I've narrowed it down to 3 and I need help deciding. it's either between
quickdime - cuz. you know. he's always looking to make a quick buck
treasury - his subspace acts like a treasury if you kinda think about it
fortune - idk it sounds cute. besides fortune tends to "favor the bold and clever"
if u made it this far then congrats. thank u for listening to me yap. have a bonus doodle
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yanaleese · 1 year ago
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Karma's Biography - V1!
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Are you sure you want to open the folder, dark_karma?
-> -> YES
The folder dark_karma has now been opened. However, only one file is available at the moment called "REPORT #053". Would you like to open it?
-> -> YES
...loading....loading....loading...
File is now available to read.
<>
DEAR MR. AND MRS. SANGRE,
THIS IS REPORT #53 REGARDING 'TARGET S-069', KARMA SANGRE. THE INFORMATION BELOW ARE AS FOLLOWS:
NAME: KARMA SANGRE GENDER: MALE HEIGHT: 7'2 / 220 cm AGE: 28 DATE OF BIRTH: DECEMBER 21ST NATIONALITY: SALVADORIAN PLACE OF BIRTH: EL SALVADOR, LA PAZ, CUIDAD ARCE CURRENT RESIDENCE: NORTH CAROLINA, WILMINGTON, KINGS GRANT SPECIES: VAMPIRE MAIN LANGUAGES: SPANISH, ENGLISH PAST AFFILIATIONS: S.D.E [SANGRE DE EVA] CURRENT AFFILIATIONS: NONE [ROUGE] PAST RELATIONSHIPS: THE SANGRE FAMILY, THE MEJÍA FAMILY CURRENT RELATIONSHIP:[Y/N][L/N] OCCUPATION: HACKER NORMAL WEAPONRY: DAGGERS PREFERRED WEAPON OF CHOICE: CHAINSAW
PERSONALITY: TARGET IS VIGILANT, RESERVED, AND MISCHEVIOUS. HE IS VERY SHARP IN PICKING UP CONVERSATIONS, AND HIGHLY EXPERIENCED IN LONG AND SHORT-RANGED COMBAT. HIS STRENGTH ALSO LIES NOT IN HIS BRAWN, BUT IN HIS INTELLIGENCE. HOWEVER, HIS WEAKNESS LIES IN COMMUNICATION, OR LACK OF IN TERMS OF TEAMWORK. HE IS MUCH MORE SUITABLE AND HENCE, MORE DANGEROUS AS A ONE ON ONE COMBATANT OVERALL. FOOD OF CHOICE: YUCA CON CHICHARRÓN COLOUR OF CHOICE: PRUSSIAN BLUE HOBBIES: PARKOUR, PHOTOGRAPHY, WEIGHTLIFTING, SWIMMING, MOTORCYCLING, SURVEILLING HIS PARTNER [L/N], PLAYING ONLINE AND TRADITIONAL GAMES SUCH AS JIGSAW PUZZLES, SUDOKU, SOLITAIRE, AND POKER.
CONCLUDING THOUGHTS: THE LIKELIHOOD OF THE TARGET RETURNING TO THE SANGRE FAMILY WILLINGLY IS QUITE LOW. SINCE THE MEJÍA AND SANGRE DISCOURSE, THERE HAS BEEN NO ACTIVE CONVERSATION BETWEEN HIM AND HIS FAMILY FOR THE PAST TWO YEARS.
BEST COURSE OF ACTION: IT IS BEST THAT WE WAIT FOR AN OPENING. THOUGH HE HAS REDUCED SECURITY, HE IS STILL ON THE LOOKOUT FOR OUR MEMBERS OF STAFF. CONTACT HONEY BADGER AND TELL HIM TO STAY DOWN UNTIL OUR UPDATED REPORT IN THE NEXT TWO WEEKS.
1/18/2024, SENT 4:15 AM - REPORT MADE BY HALSLEE BRACHETTE.
UPCOMING REPORT DATE: 2/1/2024.
- END OF REPORT -
----------------------------
If you have any questions in regards to Karma and his lore, please send an ask to my inbox.
@eliijah-xo
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some-stars · 4 months ago
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Did y'all know it's bizarrely and inexplicably difficult to find the full text of Dylan Thomas's "Altarwise by owl-light" online? A bunch of places have what they claim is that poem but it's only the first few stanzas. I eventually found one (1) PDF of his complete poems, and then I had to extract it from the PDF except I didn't have all the tools I use at work to make that take about three minutes total. FYI if you ever need to process a PDF thru your browser, the IT guys at my work (a very large, very risk-averse corporation) have us use ilovepdf for some tasks that acrobat can't do (but it can also replicate various adobe functions), so I'd recommend that as the least-likely-to-damage-your-computer free option.
ANYWAY the point is, this poem is SO good and SO important and SO cool, and it shouldn't be so incredibly hard to find, so here it is. It's long. I strongly suggest reading it aloud, and don't try to understand anything the first time through, just let it happen to you and really experience the words.
Altarwise by owl-light
I. Altarwise by owl-light in the half-way house The gentleman lay graveward with his furies; Abaddon in the hangnail cracked from Adam, And, from his fork, a dog among the fairies, The atlas-eater with a jaw for news, Bit out the mandrake with to-morrow’s scream. Then, penny-eyed, that gentleman of wounds, Old cock from nowheres and the heaven’s egg, With bones unbuttoned to the half-way winds, Hatched from the windy salvage on one leg, Scraped at my cradle in a walking word That night of time under the Christward shelter: I am the long world’s gentleman, he said, And share my bed with Capricorn and Cancer.
II. Death is all metaphors, shape in one history; The child that sucketh long is shooting up, The planet-ducted pelican of circles Weans on an artery the gender’s strip; Child of the short spark in a shapeless country Soon sets alight a long stick from the cradle; The horizontal cross-bones of Abaddon, You by the cavern over the black stairs, Rung bone and blade, the verticals of Adam, And, manned by midnight, Jacob to the stars. Hairs of your head, then said the hollow agent, Are but the roots of nettles and of feathers Over these groundworks thrusting through a pavement And hemlock-headed in the wood of weathers.
III. First there was the lamb on knocking knees And three dead seasons on a climbing grave That Adam’s wether in the flock of horns, Butt of the tree-tailed worm that mounted Eve, Horned down with skullfoot and the skull of toes On thunderous pavements in the garden time; Rip of the vaults, I took my marrow-ladle Out of the wrinkled undertaker’s van, And, Rip Van Winkle from a timeless cradle, Dipped me breast-deep in the descended bone; The black ram, shuffling of the year, old winter, Alone alive among his mutton fold, We rung our weathering changes on the ladder, Said the antipodes, and twice spring chimed,
IV. What is the metre of the dictionary? The size of genesis? the short spark’s gender? Shade without shape? the shape of Pharaoh’s echo? (My shape of age nagging the wounded whisper). Which sixth of wind blew out the burning gentry? (Questions are hunchbacks to the poker marrow). What of a bamboo man among your acres? Corset the boneyards for a crooked boy? Button your bodice on a hump of splinters, My camel’s eyes will needle through the shroud. Love’s reflection of the mushroom features, stills snapped by night in the bread-sided field, Once close-up smiling in the wall of pictures, Arc-lamped thrown back upon the cutting flood.
V. And from the windy West came two-gunned Gabriel, From Jesu’s sleeve trumped up the king of spots, The sheath-decked jacks, queen with a shuffled heart; Said the fake gentleman in suit of spades, Black-tongued and tipsy from salvation’s bottle. Rose my Byzantine Adam in the night. For loss of blood I fell on Ishmael’s plain, Under the milky mushroos slew my hunger, A climbing sea from Asia had me down And Jonah’s Moby snatched me by the hair, Cross-stroked salt Adam to the frozen angel Pin-legged on pole-hills with a black medusa By waste seas where the white bear quoted Virgil And sirens singing from our lady’s sea-straw.
VI. Cartoon of slashes on the tide-traced crater, He in a book of water tallow-eyed By lava’s light split through the oyster vowels And burned sea silence on a wick of words. Pluck, cock, my sea eye, said medusa’s scripture, Lop, love, my fork tongue, said the pin-hilled nettle; And love plucked out the stinging siren’s eye, Old cock from nowheres lopped the minstrel tongue Till tallow I blew from the wax’s tower The fats of midnight when the salt was singing; Adam, time’s joker, on a witch of cardboard Spelt out the seven seas, an evil index, The bagpipe-breasted ladies in the deadweed Blew out the blood gauze through the wound of manwax.
VII. Now stamp the Lord’s Prayer on a grain of rice, A Bible-leaved of all the written woods Strip to this tree: a rocking alphabet, Genesis in the root, the scarecrow word, And one light’s language in the book of trees. Doom on deniers at the wind-turned statement. Time’s tune my ladies with the teats of music, The scaled sea-sawers, fix in a naked sponge Who sucks the bell-voiced Adam out of magic, Time, milk, and magic, from the world beginning. Time is the tune my ladies lend their heartbreak, From bald pavilions and the house of bread Time tracks the sound of shape on man and cloud, On rose and icicle the ringing handprint.
VIII. This was the crucifixion on the mountain, Time’s nerve in vinegar, the gallow grave As tarred with blood as the bright thorns I wept; The world’s my wound, God’s Mary in her grief, Bent like three trees and bird-papped through her shift, With pins for teardrops is the long wound’s woman. This was the sky, Jack Christ, each minstrel angle Drove in the heaven-driven of the nails Till the three-coloured rainbow from my nipples From pole to pole leapt round the snail-waked world I by the tree of thieves, all glory’s sawbones, Unsex the skeleton this mountain minute, And by this blowclock witness of the sun Suffer the heaven’s children through my heartbeat.
IX. From the oracular archives and the parchment, Prophets and fibre kings in oil and letter, The lamped calligrapher, the queen in splints, Buckle to lint and cloth their natron footsteps, Draw on the glove of prints, dead Cairo’s henna Pour like a halo on the caps and serpents. This was the resurrection in the desert, Death from a bandage, rants the mask of scholars Gold on such features, and the linen spirit Weds my long gentleman to dusts and furies; With priest and pharaoh bed my gentle wound, World in the sand, on the triangle landscape, With stones of odyssey for ash and garland And rivers of the dead around my neck.
X. Let the tale’s sailor from a Christian voyage Atlaswise hold half-way off the dummy bay Time’s ship-racked gospel on the globe I balance: So shall winged harbours through the rockbirds’ eyes Spot the blown word, and on the seas I image December’s thorn screwed in a brow of holly. Let the first Peter from a rainbow’s quayrail Ask the tall fish swept from the bible east, What rhubarb man peeled in her foam-blue channel Has sown a flying garden round that sea-ghost? Green as beginning, let the garden diving Soar, with its two bark towers, to that Day When the worm builds with the gold straws of venom My nest of mercies in the rude, red tree.
-Dylan Thomas
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lamemaster · 1 year ago
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The Silmarillion Elves Finding My Mutual's Blog
AN: why am I doing this? Lack of brain cells, I tell you. But here we go (lmk if you would like to be removed...I don't intend to offend anyone). A small gift for mutuals and feel free to add more blogs if needed.
Summary: How would characters from the Silmarillion react to finding my mutual's blogs. Purely based on my interpretation which may or may not be messed up.
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@asianbutnotjapanese: the loremaster with all the records. Elrond and Finrod. Do I need to say more? This trio would sit together to appreciate all the writings together. A group that thrives together as they compare their findings.
Finrod's appreciation might originate in the form of odes complimented by the notes of his harp.
Kings and queens of reblogging stuff for easier access.
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@doodle-pops: There's going to be a crowd here. But the chief guest of this gathering can be none other than Fingon. Accompanied by Glorfindel and Fingolfin (because I see you with that sugar daddy fic Mina).
I completely expect Fingon to encounter the blog, binge-read everything and then create his own the very next day (and yes, he will write the most cursed ships). This elf will create multiple other accounts to comment on the Fingon fics...Will jokingly compare the note count of his fic with that of Maedhros'.
Glorfindel is just another golden retriever. He will meticulously thank you and the rebloggers (celebrates humbly at his popularity). And he will be the one to send super sweet 'you're amazing' kind of asks to the writer.
Fingofin will become an established annon on the blog. No one knows it's him. His online personality is 180 from his real life. (He's got some ships and opinions and mans won't stop from stating them *aggressively*.
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@a-world-of-whimsy-5: The Ainur. Sauron, Namo, and Irmo (Manwe and Eonwe are lurking) are here and they will read everything. Don't be surprised if you get a bunch of passionate Sauron requests by an 'annon' the next day. Very specific requests.
Irmo on the other hand reads even the spiciest fics with a poker face late at night. I can just imagine him laying with his phone in his hand as he scrolls through the blog. A quiet existence but don't be surprised when you wake up with 50 notes and a new followers.
Namo will start by restraining himself to the sfw fics but somehow ends up reading nsfw and goes down the rabbit hole. Next day the he can't look anyone in the eye (especially Manwe). Decides never to do that again only to come back for more (don't even bring him close to hurt no comfort, this Ainur cried for Luthien. He can't handle angst).
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@wandererindreams: Ulmo, Manwe, Eru, and The Void. Just a merry group having existential conversations. You all would be sitting there with your copy of texts and believe me Eru will pull out receipts to prove shit.
The sight of the Void being hyped by all the extensive headcanons...chef's kiss. Literal black hole feels included in the fandom for the first time.
Manwe and Ulmo would be there with wisdom and appreciation for your deep contemplation. Both commenting their piece and views about the subject in lengthy comments.
Eru will be taking notes. I can envision Iluvatar, playing devil's advocate (ironic) and arguing against anything and everything. Eru likes hooman who challenge him (ask Numenorians).
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@animatorweirdo: Maglor and Sauron. The second eldest Feanorian will be found blushing as he reads your works and he will revisit the blog in bouts of day-dreaming of his true love. Leaves adorable emojis in the comments.
Believe me, Sauron would get some pretty interesting ideas from all your sci-fi fics. Now he really really really needs a vampire plus werewolf SO so bad. This maia will flourish under all the attention given to him. Follows fervently but will like sparingly (he's got an image to maintain).
I would also spy a lingering Maedhros but he's got the tired mom energy so he'll be a flickering presence who remembers Tumblr once every 3 months.
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Lamemaster: dead. Feanor or Finwe will smite me the second they see my blog.
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acceleracers-baby · 11 months ago
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Acceleracers HC’s! Game Night! Teku Edition!
Teku
(Nolo Pasaro, Vert Wheeler, Shirako Takamoto, Kurt Wylde & Karma Eiss)
+Bonus Round
(Brian Kadeem & Banjee Castillo)
Teku
Nolo Pasaro - Growing up, Nolo had a pack of Bicycle brand playing cards and a dream. Now, he can run a whole game night with nothing but that same pack of cards. In fact, he does it regularly. Poker, Rummy, War, you name it. He knows the rules like the back of his hand. His all time favorite however, is Spoons. No matter who’s playing, it always gets absurdly intense. He loves watching everyone scramble to snatch a spoon when a suit of four is thrown down. The Teku are definitely intense, but it only gets worse when the rivalry between them and the Metal Maniac turns friendly, and they start getting invited to join. On the other hand, watching Mark practically throw himself over the table in an effort to snatch a spoon before his brother could grab one has got to be one of the funniest things he’s ever witnessed.
Very Wheeler - Skate 3 connoisseur. Vert fucking LOVES Pictionary. Like I don’t know to explain to y’all how hard this dude laughs watching people’s interpretations of what the original prompt was devolve into sometimes completely unrelated or ridiculous. Vert has even taken to throwing in some of his own prompts just to mix the game up a bit. For example- “Worlds Greatest Driver” was a prompt that Kurt got to start with. Obviously, he drew a stick figure version of himself. Mark was right after him, so seeing the shitty stick version of his brother, he just wrote down “bastard.” It devolved further from there. Another fun one was when Banjee got the prompt “Fast & Furious” and forgot that the movies existed, so he just drew Taro under the pretense that he fit description.
Shirako Takamoto - Shirako is a master at Mario Party. It’s gotten to the point where it’s basically everyone vs. Shirako whenever they play. He’s just too good at all the mini games. They will actively try and sabotage him and it doesn’t even matter, he’ll still end the game with the most stars collected. He has the strats!!! On top of that, he’s also unusually good at Scrabble for some reason. People assume it has something to do with all the music he listens to, but really he just plays it online all the time, so when game night rolls around he just destroys everyone. Vert lost his mind when Shirako played the word “quixotic” once. He was convinced Shirako was just making up words for high scores, but lo and behold, they looked it up and it’s a legal word to play!
Kurt Wylde - King of pit maneuvering people off the track ironically enjoys the game Sorry. The joy he feels booting someone back to the start is only matched by the excitement he feels during a race. He literally is such a rude bastard (lovingly). He is 100% the type of player to always boot the same person back to start just to mess with them. In his mind, less competition means a better chance at winning. Uno is a very close second. He will legit sit on those +2 & +4 cards and just wait to ruin someone’s day. “Oh you’re about to call uno? Go ahead and pick up the whole deck.” Like Vert, he also takes some liberties with those ‘make your own rule’ cards. They’re always so targeted too. Stuff like ‘let Monkey drive your car or pick up 25 cards’ and ‘get Taro to talk for more than 5 minutes or swap a hands with who’s losing.”
Karma Eiss - Battleship baby!! She is the queen of strategy games especially when it comes to stuff that involves reading people. Like, by the time someone hits one of her ships, she’s usually got half their fleet wiped out. People have tells. The closer she is to whoever she’s playing with, the faster the game goes. Particularly with people who wear their hearts on their sleeves. Vert and Nolo are the easiest to beat by far. Vert always tries to laugh or talk about something else when Karma hits close to one of his ships and Nolo over compensates. Kurt’s a little harder to beat because he’s got a pretty good poker face, but Shirako is definitely the hardest. Due to him constantly just vibing, he’s nearly impossible to read.
Bonus Round
Brian Kadeem - Kadeem’s a big Jenga guy. It’s so simple, yet so fun. His favorite part is when the tower is getting ridiculous tall and precarious so anytime anyone reachers for a block everyone goes silent and tense, watching to see if they’ll be next person to knock it down. It helps that Kadeem has impressively steady hands too. Like, this dude could have been a doctor if he really wanted to. Twister comes in at a close second. I feel like Kadeem is pretty flexible so the game is more entertaining than it is challenging. He loves being the one to spin the wheel because it gives him time to cackle at his friends getting all twisted up. Seriously, halfway through the game when everyone’s practically stacked on top of each other, Kadeem is usually laughing so hard that he’s on the ground with them.
Banjee Castillo - Banjee is the literal king of Mario Cart. He loves it so much he will unironically put on the Coconut Mall theme song sometimes while he’s driving. He swears it makes him go faster. It definitely doesn’t, but don’t tell him that. Banjee always knows the best cart combos and where all the best short cuts are. He usually finishes WAY ahead of all the other drivers, which always leads to some light hearted banter about how he should be as good as he is in the game on the actual track. Sometimes, he will purposely hang back or false start so that way he can use items to mess with the other players. Red shells are the best but after hours of gameplay, Banjee has gotten deadly accurate with the green shells too. Nobody is safe.
——— Thanks for Reading! ———
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piduai · 6 months ago
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mine is one of those girls who are like omfggg i'm so happy i got himmm he's the dreamiest 😍 and then show you a picture of the blandest most nondescript man in the world who seemingly has no job and an online poker addiction. except he's a syndicate finance bro who drives a sports car and the nondescript guy is a crusty eyed purse dog who was made king of criminals by some divine error that warrants another post
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bonyfish · 1 year ago
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I can't sleep so here are some fun facts about my upbringing
When we were little, my dad trained me to be good at chess and my sister to be good at poker. Sometimes he'd do endgame drills: he would set up a board with just a king and pawn on his side and a king, pawn, and knight or queen on mine, and he would see if I could beat him. I am not remotely good at chess anymore but my sister still has a very impressive poker face.
I don't eat meat anymore but my first clear memory is of sashimi
When I was in high school my dad taught me to do some basic stunt driving, controlled skids and the like. I have mostly forgotten how though.
When I was in my late teens or early twenties, my dad booked my sister and I a half-day pistol training intensive course with a heavily tattooed ex-military guy named Jeremiah who had incongruously stunning eyelashes. We started at maybe 6 in the morning because it was July in Indiana and well over 90 degrees by the time we finished around noon. We learned how to field-strip a Glock 19 and did target practice. By the time we were done, my right hand was so sore that I was a better shot with my left, which is very much not my dominant hand.
Relatedly, if you search my birth name online, I think you can still find a photo of my dad teaching me to shoot at the age of 7.
We didn't really eat together or have formalized meal times, and I didn't quite get the hang of using silverware until college. I could manage a single fork or spoon, but when cutting things I would hold my implements in my fists and clumsily mangle my food. My high school girlfriend taught me to cook.
After I moved out, my mom sent me a book purporting to be a guide on how to live through an EMP attack. It had a whole section on how important the Christian bible would be to rebuilding life after the collapse of society as we know it, including specific passages that may be of use. I called my mom up and asked very tentatively if she had actually read the book before sending it to me, on account of we're Jewish and various flavors of agnostic. She said she skimmed it.
When I was 7 or 8, an animal got trapped in the wall between our kitchen and bathroom, and it would scrabble around in there and make a very alarming scuttling-scraping noise. I found this very frightening, so my mother decided to give the animal a name, like a pet, to make it less scary. (The name was Egbert.) This was a creative solution and might have worked, but we had never had pets, so I had no frame of reference for how I was supposed to feel about that. Egbert later chewed his way out and emerged from a pile of dirty dishes before disappearing under the oven. He was tentatively identified as a southern flying squirrel.
One time in high school some friends tried to drive to my house and got lost for two hours.
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k8-says-------hi · 10 months ago
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king charles committed suicide because i beat him at online poker
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smoothmedia · 2 years ago
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Shows I've Seen Every Episode
Alice in Borderland
Arcane: League of Legends
Avatar: The Last Airbender
Banshee
Big Little Lies
Black Mirror
Breaking Bad
Chappelle Show
Cobra Kai
Cyberpunk: Edgerunner
Dark
Deadwood
Dexter
Dragon Ball Z (Kai, Super)
Family Guy
Fargo
Friends
Futurama
Game of Thrones
Hawkeye
Heroes
Homeland
House of the Dragon
How to get away with Murder
Hunter X Hunter
Invincible
Jett
Loki
Lost
Lovecraft Country
Mad Men
Moon Knight
Mr. Robot
Ms. Marvel
Narcos
Naruto
Only Murders in the Building
Ozark
Oz
Poker Face
Prison Break
Ray Donovan
Reacher
Rick & Morty
She Hulk
Smash
Sons of Anarcy
South Park
Stranger Things
Sword Art Online
The Boondocks
The boys
The Duece
The Falcon and Winter Solider
The Last of Us
The Sopronos
The Wire
The Witcher
True Blood
True Detective
Wandavision
Warrior
Watchmen
Wednesday
You
Shows I Never Seen Any Episode Of
American Gods
American Horror Story
Atlanta
Barry
Berserk
Billions
Black Clover
Black Sails
Boardwalk Empire
Brooklyn Nine Nine
Castlevania
Chernobyl
Community
Doctor Who
Dr. Stone
Euphoria
Firefly
Ironfist
Kingdom
Luke Cage
My Dress up Darling
Naruto: Shippuden
Outlander
Parks & Recreaction
Peacemaker
Rome
Sense8
Severance
Smallville
Star Wars (Any of them... The Clone Wars, Bad Batch, The Book of Bobafett, Visions, Andor, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Tales of the Jedi etc.)
Steins Gate
Succession
Superstore
Supernatural
Ted Lasso
The Defenders
The Fear of the Walking Dead
The Last Kingdom
The Legend of Korra
The Owl House
The Punisher
The Sandman
The White Lotus
Vikings
Vinland Saga
What we do in the Shadows
Yellowstone
Shows I've Started But Haven't Finished (Last episode I seen in parentheses)
Assassination Classroom (episode 4)
Attack on Titan (Season 2 Episode 12 "Scream")
Battlestar Galactica (Episode 11)
Beef (Epsiode 4)
Better Call Saul (I dont remember but I believe I seen most of Season 1)
Bleach (Never seen but I read the Manga, even that Alphabet war arc)
Chainsaw Man (Episode 2)
Deathnote (About 3 episodes)
Demon Slayer (Episode 7)
Daredevil (I think I saw 1 or 2 episodes but dont remember)
Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood (Episode 14 or 15)
Gravity Falls (Episode 1)
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (seen 3 or 4 episodes here and there)
Jessica Jones (Season 1)
Jojo's Bizarre Adventure (Season 1, Episode 5)
Jujutsu Kaisen (Only 1 epsiode)
Money Heist (Season 3)
My Hero Academia (About 33 episodes)
One Piece (I read the Manga to Wano, so in episode terms I'm probably around episode 960)
Orphan Black (2 Seasons)
Peaky Blinders (Season 1)
Power (Season 1)
Ranking of Kings (6 episodes)
Rings of Power (Episode 2)
Snowfall (Season 1)
Solar Opposites (One episode)
Spy x Family (Episode 9)
Swarm (Episode 4)
The 100 (Season 1)
The Leftovers (Season 1)
The Legend of Vox Machina (Episode 3)
The Office (Season 2 Episode 6 "The Fight")
The Orville (Season 1, Episode 3)
The Umbrella Academy (Season 1, Episode 2)
The Walking Dead (For the tv show, somewhere in Season 6, I never met Neagan. But I have read the comics)
Titans (Season 3, Episode 2)
Twin Peaks (Episode 1)
Westworld (Season one)
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dxncingxnmyown · 1 year ago
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@frvgcleternty | Javier and Malai, Evening of the Masked Ball
It takes Malai, Xavier, and a handful of low-level threats to convince Javier to sober up for the night's activities. Frankly, it would be a more relaxing use of time; sitting with a drink, playing a bit of online poker, and maybe indulging in an illicit vice. Instead, he's brought into the the Portuguese Castle wearing a designer tuxedo with a God-awful mask over his face. And despite the masks, he can tell they would all look upon him; the newly engaged and "reformed" bachelor King who found love in a Danish Princess. If only they knew. "I don't know why you dragged me here, Mal. I could've just written a fucking cheque." Javier gripes by his sister's side, tugging at the corners of his eye mask. "It's not like Val's gonna care if I show up or not. And what if-" He sighs, shaking his head, yet the implication is in his words. What if Isolde is here?
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dweetwise · 2 years ago
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[Riconti] Performance anxiety
Happy (late) Valentine's day! To celebrate, I bring you an awkward first time fic ❤️ Rated M | Light smut 3.2k words | ao3 link
The atmosphere in the car was filled with anticipation. 
Felix tore his eyes away from the nightly Coburg streets to glance at the passenger seat, where Ace was toying with the cuff of his blazer. Upon catching Felix's eye, he gave a secretive smile, eyes glinting with promise.
They were driving home from one of Felix's company parties. It had been simultaneously nerve-wracking and exciting to publicly introduce Ace as his partner to Lauren and the other people he worked with, but the evening had been a raging success. There had been laughs and easy chatter over dinner, some good-natured teasing on Felix's behalf, and even an impromptu dance battle when—after Felix's stubborn refusal to dance to 90's pop music sober—Ace had instead dragged Lauren onto the dance floor.
Throughout the night, Felix's fingers had itched for something stronger than water. But after the half a shot of whiskey he'd had at home—just to soothe the nerves—Felix had managed to ignore the urge since he'd promised Ace he was going to drive them home tonight.
And it didn't escape Felix's notice that Ace had avoided drinking as well. He'd asked for alcohol-free champagne at the welcome toast and only had soda for the rest of the night. Every time Felix gave him a questioning look, Ace had only winked conspiratorially.
The not-so-subtle flirting was only emphasized by the fact that Ace had chosen to wear an outfit that had If lost, return to Felix written all over it. The stylish blazer and dark gray slacks Felix had purchased for him weeks earlier, but the turquoise dress shirt he'd raided straight from Felix's closet and—in Felix's humble opinion—it looked a hundred times better on Ace's tan complexion. It still did something absolutely stupid to Felix's smitten heart to see Ace wearing his clothes; desire curled low in his belly and as much as he enjoyed spending time with Lauren and their colleagues, Felix couldn't wait to go home with Ace.
And from the way Ace hadn't even attempted to hide the way his eyes lingered on Felix and how he kept finding excuses to touch him all night, neither could Ace.
So when they finally arrived at the Richter manor, Felix supposed it was only natural that they instantly collided into a passionate kiss as soon as the front door closed behind them.
Ace's mouth was hot under Felix's lips, both of them groaning into the kiss before Ace tugged Felix further into the house.
"Please," Ace said, his eyes half-lidded. "Please tell me this is going where I think it's going."
Felix could relate wholeheartedly. Ace had spent the majority of these three weeks following Felix's cousin's wedding in Germany, and it had been nothing short of amazing. Even when Felix returned to work and there were no more extravagant wedding activities like the week they got together, they'd managed to slot into each other's lives just right.
Somewhere in between waking up next to each other every day, of showing Ace around Coburg, of curling up on the couch together to watch Felix's favorite German movies or swear at one of Ace's online poker opponents, Felix had fallen harder than he ever had in his life.
Yet, with all the kissing and confessed feelings and everyday intimacy, they'd never gone further than that one night of clothed petting in the Hoffmann estate. And though Felix was glad they had waited, he was also glad that the wait was over.
"Yes,'' Felix said, breathless from anticipation. "God, yes, I want this."
Ace's smiling lips crashed against Felix's and eager hands pulled him towards the staircase.
In just a few minutes, Felix had Ace naked under him in the king-sized bed. Ace was smirking, eyes wild and his face flushed, before pulling Felix on top of him and into another kiss.
And Felix knew that this was worth waiting for.
Felix felt bold enough to deepen the kiss, teasing his tongue against Ace's. The action earned him a filthy, open-mouthed moan and then Ace's hands were all over him, running over Felix's shoulders and back.
It was so much like that time, after Vanessa's wedding: him and Ace pawing at each other in the tacky guest room, everything a blur of heat and want.
Except this time, Felix had no idea how to proceed.
Doubt nagged at the back of Felix's mind and washed over him in a cold wave. Now that he had Ace exactly where he'd wanted to for so long—naked and panting with arousal—he realized he'd never planned further ahead than this.
Felix had never been with a man before, and certainly not with anyone like Ace. He hadn't expected that to be a problem, as Ace knew full well his lack of experience in this area; yet their position clearly left it up to Felix to set the pace for tonight.
Missionary wasn't something Felix particularly enjoyed. He couldn't even touch Ace in this position, lest he want to squash him under his weight. He settled for kissing Ace some more and awkwardly petting his bicep—the only thing he could reach with his arms still supporting himself.
Ace pulled away with a hum and started nipping at Felix's neck, his hands getting bolder and one dropping down to squeeze Felix's ass.
And Felix just stayed in place, cluelessly hovering above Ace. Of course Ace would get bored of just kissing. They were supposed to be having sex, after all—something Felix had been fantasizing about nearly every single day, but that now felt impossibly daunting. 
Felix would never measure up to Ace's past partners. They were all probably confident and expert lovers, who know exactly how to please a man and could sweep Ace off his feet—
Ace let out a quiet moan and his hips bucked up against Felix's, his hardness rubbing wetly against Felix's hip. Unfortunately, the skin-on-skin contact gave Felix the mortifying realization that because of all the self-doubt and overthinking, he'd completely failed to get erect.
Ace didn't seem to notice Felix's length hanging uselessly flaccid between them. If anything, grinding against Felix only spurred him on, and he sucked at Felix's neck before his hand snaked down Felix's stomach towards his groin—
And Felix panicked.
He grabbed Ace's hand and yanked it away. Ace made a questioning noise, leaning back against the pillow to meet Felix's eyes. Despite his obvious arousal, there was clear concern on Ace's face; he was always so much more patient than Felix deserved, and now Felix couldn't even give him this—
"I'm sorry." Felix's voice cracked. "I can't—I'm not…"
He swallowed what would otherwise have been a pathetic sob.
"Hey," Ace said. His erection twitched against Felix's leg and that definitely didn’t help. "What's up?"
Nothing, and that's the problem! Felix wanted to scream.
Instead he steeled himself and sat back on his haunches, showing Ace the issue.
"I'm sorry," Felix repeated, looking away in shame as Ace's eyes trailed down his torso and found his useless dick. "I can't… perform."
Ace was silent for a few agonizing seconds, and that in itself was cause for concern. The situation must have been truly awful if even Ace couldn't manage to joke about it.
Felix already anticipated the look of offense and disappointment that would surely be clear in Ace's expression. When he finally dared to look, Ace was…
Smiling?
Ace's smile was easy and warm as he regarded Felix. "First time jitters, huh?" Ace asked.
How could Ace sound so casual about the issue, when Felix was ready to crawl out of his own skin from mortification?
"Yes," Felix said. "And I'm sorry, I promise it has nothing to do with you—"
"Oh, pfft, come on." Ace grinned and playfully nudged Felix's leg with his knee. "Do you know how many times I've had to give that speech? There's a reason I practically only had apple juice tonight, you know."
Felix frowned; Ace seemed to be implying that he was no stranger to this problem, yet…
"But…" Felix glanced at Ace's dick—which had deflated some, but still looked very much up for the task at hand.
"Yeah, well, I'm a horny old bastard with a very gorgeous man in bed with me." Ace smirked. "Even if Ace Jr. has gotten a little finicky in his old age, he's not gonna pass this up."
And Felix… didn't really know how to feel about that statement. Should he be relieved that Ace wasn't storming off? Feel even worse that Ace had obviously been looking forward to this? Or simply cringe at Ace talking about his penis like it was a person?
"It's okay, really," Ace said. "As someone with a dick who has enjoyed many other dicks in my lifetime, I know it happens. And I know that right now it feels like it's the end of the world, but it's really not a big deal."
And god, Felix wanted so desperately to believe him. "Okay," he said, lying down next to Ace and finally relaxing marginally. "Thank you."
"No need to thank me, sugarpie." Ace winked and then leaned in for a kiss.
Felix signed into it and hesitantly brought up a hand to cup Ace's cheek. In return, Ace splayed a hand over Felix's chest and rubbed in slow circles.
"Can I still touch you down there? Or do something else for you?" Ace murmured. "If nothing happens, that's fine. I've just wanted to get my hands on you for so long and, well, this seems like a prime opportunity."
Felix swallowed as Ace kept caressing his upper body. He was asking so sweetly instead of pushing, but Felix had already made up his mind.
"No,'' Felix said, and disappointment flashed over Ace's features. "I'm sorry. It's not going to work—not tonight, there's too many thoughts and I just…"
Ace nodded and nuzzled affectionately against Felix's jaw. "That's okay."
Because Ace knew how bad Felix's worrying could get and for some reason, had still chosen to be with him.
"I know that I won’t be able to tonight, and I'll only feel worse if you try," Felix explained.
"Yeah, that makes sense. Thanks for telling me." Ace said, then seemed to perk up. "So, do you wanna call it a night? Maybe watch another episode of that stupid cake show you were pretending to hate?"
The smile Felix adored was back in full force as Ace beamed up at him, making Felix's heart throb with fondness. Ace truly was too good for him: always handling his irrational anxieties with compassion and gentle jokes. Ace also looked completely at home here in Felix's bed, with his kiss-swollen lips pulled up in a dorky smile and wholly unselfconscious by being completely nude next to Felix.
And as Felix's eyes roved over all the tanned skin and salt and pepper body hair, he could see why.
Ace was gorgeous.
The realization made Felix's cheeks feel hot and his fingers itched to touch. Throughout his internal panicking, Felix had managed to forget the most important thing—the reason why they were doing this in the first place. 
Because Felix wanted Ace; wanted to make him feel good.
When Felix told him as much, Ace honest to god blushed and his answering "Well then, I'm all yours" was breathless even as the smile never left his face.
Through some maneuvering into a position that worked for them both, Felix kissed his way down from Ace's lips to his stomach—and maybe took a little detour to Ace's nipples that, based on the sounds Ace made, was wholly welcome—until he was eye level with Ace's crotch.
Felix placed one last peck on Ace's hip to gather courage. Then, before he could chicken out, he hesitantly pressed his lips to Ace's erection.
It twitched under his touch and Ace let out a quiet groan of encouragement. That was a good start, but Felix needed him to know…
"I, ehm," Felix said. "I've never done this before."
Ace's smile was full of adoration even through his obvious lust.
"I know; it's okay," Ace said, and Felix almost believed him. "I'll give you some pointers, if you want?"
Felix couldn't have agreed faster. "Please."
Ace's advice proved to be an absolute lifesaver. 
After some hesitant touching and trying to recall the times someone had done this for him, Felix slowly got used to the motions of pleasuring someone this way. Soon enough, he was working his mouth over Ace, to the sounds of Ace guiding him while obviously enjoying himself.
“Mm, yeah—squeeze your lips a little tighter." Ace was panting, now, voice rough with pleasure. "You don’t have to go deep, just—oh, god, just like that. Fuck, that’s so good, baby.”
With the constant reassurance, Felix was able to relax and throw himself into the task headfirst. He'd always been good at following instructions and this was so much easier than having to figure out what Ace liked by himself.
Ace didn't seem to mind teaching him. Even once they got to the "Fuck, don't stop" part, a steady stream of pet names and praise kept rushing out from Ace's mouth, until he cut himself off with a groan and spilled into Felix's mouth.
And smiling around Ace's slowly softening dick, Felix finally felt like he'd done something right.
After a short cleanup of Ace's nether regions and Felix washing the unfamiliar taste out of his mouth, they settled under the covers together.
But even as Ace let out a happy sigh and sank into Felix's arms, Felix couldn't bring himself to fully relax.
"I'm sorry that I wasn't…" Felix trailed off, swallowing. "I promise I'll do better next time."
Please let there be a next time, please don't leave me because of this—
"Are you kidding me?" Ace said, pulling back in their embrace. 
Felix's heart briefly dropped, until he realized that Ace was grinning brightly.
“You—quite literally—blew my brains out in like two minutes. Are you sure that was your first blowjob?” Ace asked, incredulous.
Felix's face heated from the compliment and he offered a half-shrug. “I just did what you told me to. And—" He cleared his throat. "And I’ve seen some—ehm, movies.”
Ace smirked. "Oh, I bet you have. You're a visual learner, after all."
Felix huffed out a laugh even as his cheeks pinked. How Ace could even make pornography sound so casual was a mystery.
"I'm just glad you enjoyed yourself," Felix said.
"I enjoyed myself immensely," Ace said. "And from what I gathered, you just needed a little verbal encouragement."
Felix tensed. Was he really that obvious?
"It helps. Knowing what you want and what you… like," he admitted.
"Hey, nothing wrong with that," Ace said, gently brushing a lock of hair back from Felix's forehead. "I'm sorry I didn't pick up on it sooner. I've, uh, consciously had to dial down what I say during sex, over the years. Jury says I talk way too much in bed."
Ace looked sheepish at the confession, and Felix realized that maybe he wasn't the only one with insecurities. Come to think of it, that was probably why the whole thing had felt so weird earlier; Ace hadn't been talking his usual nonsense of a running commentary and sweet-slash-annoying pet names.
"Never," Felix promised. "You should never have to hold back with me. I wouldn't be with you if I didn't enjoy the constant talking."
Ace laughed at that, before smiling at Felix warm and bright. "Yeah? Not even if I start cracking jokes when I’m balls-deep down your throat?"
Felix smiled. "Just make sure I don’t laugh too much to choke."
Ace winked and leaned in for a peck. "I make no promises."
They stayed like that for quite some time, kissing and caressing each other in the warmth of the thick duvet and newfound intimacy, in no rush to get dressed or get ready for sleep.
Ace immediately started making good on their new agreement, murmuring endearments and "That was amazing, sweetheart, you're so good" between kisses. Felix practically melted; it was all so comfortable, enjoying the afterglow with the man he loved.
…Oh. Apparently a little too comfortable, according to a certain part of Felix's body.
Felix cleared his throat and averted his eyes. "Of course, now it decides to work," he muttered.
Ace blinked before peeking under the blanket and laughing. 
Because Felix was hard; his dick had finally gotten the memo, only a little too late.
"I'm sorry," Felix said. "I didn't mean to—"
"Shh," Ace said, kissing Felix's neck with a grin. "Does this mean you'll let me return the favor of that spectacular blowjob earlier?"
Felix hesitated. Some of the nervousness from before still lingered, but the arousal was quickly taking over. 
Felix nodded and stuttered out an "If—if you want to."
Wasting no time, Ace flung the blanket off the bed with a wide smile and kneeled down by Felix's legs. His eyes were bright with eagerness as he leisurely worked his mouth down Felix’s sweaty body, before parking his face right next to Felix's dick.
"Hey there, gorgeous," Ace said, wrapping a hand around Felix's erection to steady it. "A little shy, are we? Needed some time to come out of your shell?"
Felix snorted a surprised laugh. Ace talking to his dick should be ridiculous, but instead it made affection bloom in Felix's chest. If Ace felt comfortable enough with him to say silly things like that, then surely, nothing Felix could do would risk messing this up.
"I know I left you high and dry last time we met a few weeks ago." Ace grinned up at Felix over the head of his cock and then pumped up and down the shaft, making it harden even further. "Let me see if I can kiss it better." 
With that, Ace engulfed Felix’s waiting dick in his warm mouth. Felix let out a startlingly loud moan and immediately knew that this wouldn't take long.
Ace never broke eye contact while working his sinful mouth over Felix’s length so perfectly, and Felix was helpless to do anything but clutch the sheets and let out embarrassing whimpers of pleasure. It couldn't have been more than a few minutes before Felix was making a strangled noise and coming down Ace's throat faster than was probably acceptable of a man his age.
But when Ace pulled off his now softening dick—and then swallowed, dear god—both of them were smiling, and any shame on Felix’s part gave way for pure, giddy happiness. 
Because he knew that Ace wouldn't judge him; not for this, and not for anything else Felix did or didn't do in bed.
"Mm, sweetheart," Ace purred, laying his cheek on Felix’s hip. “That was so good. Thank you for letting me do that for you.”
All sorts of embarrassing emotions crawled up Felix's throat and threatened to spill out. Despite everything, this evening had been better than he could have dreamed of. 
He could only pull Ace up, hug him tight and whisper countless "Thank you"s between kisses on smiling lips.
As first times went, it might not have been what either of them had expected. But they were both happy and sated and—Felix felt bold enough to assume—more in love than ever.
And Felix really couldn't ask for anything more.
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pepsi-maxwell · 2 years ago
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hi vinny i wanted to tell you. remember this post you made at (your tumblr url)/post/718621123731947520/. well i quoted it almost verbatim during brody kings most recent whatnot stream (it was relevant to the convo at hand atm) and I'm Sorry about the stolen valor. but youre literally so right. and brody and his wife emily thought it was funny and Emphatically agreed. emily was backstage (she has a job at AEW now btw! i heard it from that stream, but she also confirmed this in ethan page's latest toyhunt vlog that just went up. shes managing props and shit like charlie ramone. she helped with the barbed wire poker chip from anarchy in the arena that mox and kenny were slamming each other on, and with bcc's spraypainted vests.) & she said that her + everyone she was with watching the monitors were super weirded out & that the vibe was fuckin rancid. also brody threw shade at violent idols for not having that many twitter followers and for not being that good at covering wild thing lmao. musician on musician violence. it was great. i just really wanted to tell you.
this isnt relevant but id be remiss if i didnt also mention that emily showed us a picture on her phone of brody wearing julia harts cathedral window hat from DoN
HELP FUCK I FORGOT TO ANSWER THIS I'M
honestly steal that valor, i... maaaay have stolen it from my partner who is not online anyway 😅 god yeah it was fucking weird, like. love that brody gave them shade and that it wasn't just us weirded the fuck out by it!
also holy fuck if ever i needed to see an image, brody in julia's cathedral hat is it <3333
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fgzfgzdsd · 22 days ago
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dsandra4042 · 28 days ago
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bitrise-co-in · 3 months ago
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