#kindred spirits if i do say so myself heh

[kindred-spirit-93]

💌Send this to the twelve nicest people you know or who seem to have a good heart and if you get five back you must be pretty awesome >:p💌

IM NOT CRYING (yes i am)

THANK U POOKIE ILYSM AAH ❤️❤️❤️

[on-wine-dark-seas]

2, 3, 4, 5, 7, 9, 11, 12, 14, 16, 17, 19, 21, 32, 35, 37, 40, 41, 42, 45, 54, 55, 59, 61, 63, 66, 75 and 77 for the Fanfic Writer Asks. I know there are too many, sorry! 🥺🙏🏻

Oh wow! These are a lot but I will take great pride and joy in answering them. Thanks for giving me something to think about!

2. Do you plan each chapter ahead or write as you go?

It's a little bit of both, honestly. Lately I have been practicing being more deliberate and planning my stories more thoroughly as oppose to just writing and posting without thinking. Apparently this has had a positive effect. I get more comprehensive feedback on my writing than I ever have.

3. Describe the creative process of writing a chapter/fic.

Generally I do what I call the "bookend method." That is, I usually have the first and last chapter planned out. I know how I wanna start, and I know how I wanna end. And I recently started imposing chapter limits on myself so each chapter is basically like a scene from a play in how I plan it. That is, I know who I want to include in each chapter, the general subject being covered in the chapter, etc.

4. Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?

Music. I am a maladaptive daydreamer since I was 6 years old. Scenes have been turning in my head since I was cognizant enough to remember. Eventually the scenes spin into full stories. Of course, I read widely and often as well and get inspired to cook up my own ideas.

5. Do you like constructive criticism?

When I ask for it, yeah. I don't like when people just assume I want it because the comments tended to get a lil' disrespectful back in the day when I allowed that. Everyone's version of constructive criticism is different. To that end, if we have established a rapport, I welcome it. Everybody else: talk to me nice or not at all!

7. How do you choose which POV to write from?

It depends on how deep inside of a character [heh] I want or need to get. I used to be a die-hard first-person POV writer. But lately it's third-person limited.

9. Do you comment on stories you read?

I try to. I usually want to make my comments more than the usual flailing and emojis and memes. I want to leave substantial evidence as to why I enjoyed the fic, how it made me feel, etc. And I'm very good about it these days.

11. Link your three favorite fics right now.

I'll do my faves:

Beneath the Silk by @phyx-m - Sukuna x f!Reader; I describe it as a dark and bloody Beauty & the Beast, only you're not really sure who the beast is in this situation. It's so good and Sukuna is so darkly seductive and menacing all throughout.

Academic Affairs by ChocolateGranola - Sukuna x Gojo AU where they are academic rivals-to-lovers. I'm riveted.

Kindred Spirits by SkipGabe - A Sukuna x OC fic with super cool lore, great worldbuilding, and a very cool take on Sukuna's origins.

Monster Hospital by mushmoon12 - A Gojo x Reader-ish fic that is most assuredly enemies-to-lovers-to-enemies-to-??? and it's an emotional rollercoaster.

Like Silk by satans_onlyfans - A Sukuna x Reader-ish fic that...well. Let's just say there's more than one Vessel.

Cor Unum by @vampyrsm - Sukuna x Reader-ish fic that can only be described as a fucking masterpiece from start to finish. I would say this fic and Beneath the Silk are in conversation with one another thematically, and the exploration of Sukuna is so well-done. It does have dead dove elements so be forewarned.

The Tragedy of a Duality by @katerina-marie - a Gojo x Reader x Sukuna fic that...well it's in the title. I recommend all this author's JJK stuff but this one was an absolute standout for me.

Infidelity by @tawus - A Gojo x Reader fic where Gojo proceeds to cause the most emotional distress I have ever seen just because Reader wanted to go out to the club. I don't wanna spoil too much but oh my god. Seriously, a masterpiece.

Sweet Little Lies by mooglepaws - A Toji x Reader and Reader x adult!Megumi non-curse!AU where Reader makes the best most horrible decision. The smut in this fic is astoundingly hot. Like maybe don't read this one in public.

12. How does receiving or not receiving feedback/support impact you?

I used to let it get to me when I didn't get feedback on my fics, but I really do mean what I say when I say I write for myself. The stories I create for free are first and foremost for my enjoyment. That other people connect with and enjoy them too is now a bonus. I appreciate the feedback and support, but I will continue to write irrespective of receiving either. That being said, I won't lie and say getting feedback and support definitely helps motivate me to continue as much as my usual methods. :D

14. How do you write emotional scenes? Do you ever feel what the characters feel? Do you draw from personal experiences?

I draw from personal experience. When I want to evoke a certain emotion, I visit a memory of my own that evokes the exact shade of that emotion I want to paint on the page. I have...a lot of experience with some of the emotions that make more appearances in my fic than others.

16. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Share one of them?

I've got quite a few. Let's crack open the Scrivener document.

This is currently every single fanfic project I currently have in rotation. This is levels of brainrot I haven't had since Dragon Age, and I have 60 published fics for that fandom. I have a lot of thoughts about this fucking manga/anime.

17. What do you do when writing becomes difficult? (maybe a lack of inspiration or writers block)

When I want to be inspired, I read. When I want to create, I write. Sometimes it's necessary to read and let my brain process and enjoy being a reader for a while rather than constantly thinking about writing [which my brain perceives as a problem that needs solving].

19. What is the most-used tag on your AO3?

Original Female Character, probably.

21. Would you ever collaborate with another writer for a story?

I have! While it was me commissioning the author for a story I created, we consider it a collaborative effort as we worked together every step of the way getting the story just right, and it featured my character in my continuity. I had hoped to be able to do this with more artists and writers in the future but the JJK fandom is...insular. I had plans for a little project featuring stories and art in my 'verse. There's writers whose writing styles I really enjoy and I would love to collab with them. :D

32. Name three of your favorite fanfic writers.

@phyx-m

@septembersums

@tawus

And this isn't to exclude other authors I read [I have a very exhaustive list, actually], but these are my three faves for their portrayal of my favorite canon characters, their premises, and their prose.

35. What is one essential thing to remember when writing a villain?

They don't always have to have redeeming qualities for you to relate to them. It's okay to like that piece of shit for being a piece of shit.

37. How do you choose where to end a chapter?

Usually I treat it like a thesis paper. The chapter covers a specific subject and has a specific goal. I end the chapter when those objectives are met.

40. If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?

There's a scene in Daughter of Disgrace where Yuji and Sundari get caught in Sukuna's domain. Sundari covers Yuji with her body and hugs him close while she casts her version of Hollow Wicker Basket, called Lakshmi's Lotus. It functions the same way as Falling Blossom Emotion in that it reduces the lethality of the domain. The Lotus technique layers this barrier and requires a lot of cursed energy. She was able to keep Yuji and herself safe for the duration of the domain [99 seconds].

The other scene is from the same fic, when Nadja...does what she does and shocks Sukuna.

41. Do you tend to reread fics or are you a one-and-done kind of person?

I honestly used to be one and done, but lately there's been some writers who have been knocking it out of the park with crafting stories that I love coming back to again and again. It might be the prose, the premise, the smut, whatever it is...I keep it in my bookmarks for a reason.

42. What’s the last fic you read? Do you recommend it?

The last fic I read was the Daddy Duty series by @sandwitchstories.

I highly recommend it if you like Dad!Kuna headcanons and fics. I have been craving some soft and wholesome Sukuna lately [and been too lazy to write it], so I was delighted when this popped up in my personal Sukuna feed on BlueSky. :D

45. Do you want to break your readers‘ heart or make them laugh?

My hope as a writer is to be able to do both, sometimes back to back.

54. What’s your favorite part about the fanfiction writing process?

When I get to write That One Scene™️ that's been rattling around in my brain for what feels like forever.

55. Of the characters you write for, which is your favorite? Has that choice been swayed at all by your followers/readers’ reactions to certain ones?

Nadja is my all-time favorite OC I've ever created. As I've said before, I don't get a lot of feedback on my work outside of my Dragon Age fics. Nadja is my favorite OC because she's complex. She's not very likeable [she's a terrible parent and literally kills for money], she is hedonistic, and she tends to be very self-serving. Something kind of fun writing a character like that. Honorable mention to Sundari because I love writing a tough, strong girl who kicks ass and has a bad attitude.

59. Does anyone in your personal life know you write fic? if not, would you tell anyone?

Literally everyone in my life knows I write fic. Whether I allow them access to those fics is another matter. My parents used to catch me reading/writing smutty fanfic when I was in high school so...yeah. Imagine how they feel now that I'm a published writer with a proper degree and everything. Let the kids read/write their fic!

61. Why do you continue writing fics?

It's so fun! I love making my favorite characters smooch my OCs.

63. Something you hate to see in smut.

Cervix abuse. Y'all. Please. That shit is not fun in real life, I promise. A few little taps, yeah, but constant bruising? NO PLEASE NO.

That being said, I know how to hunt for the good smut.

66. How do you deal with writing pressure (ie. pressure to update, negative comments, deadlines, etc.)?

I don't feel any pressure because I get no traction on my fics like that to feel like I need to update on any kind of schedule. So I write and publish whenever I feel like it.

75. What scene in [Fanfic Name] took the longest to write? What was difficult about it?

Since you didn't specify a fic name, I will pick one! Daughter of Disgrace, you're up!

The scene that took the longest for me to write was in chapter 11. Saddest thing I have ever written in years, I literally cried several times writing it, editing it, rereading it, posting it, etc. Sukuna and Sundari and Nadja deserved better than the hand fate dealt them.

77. Do you have a favorite scene you’ve written from [Fanfic Name] story/chapter?

Favorite scene I've written from Daughter of Disgrace? There are so many! I really put my heart into that fic and I have so many favorite moments I revisit. There's the scene where Sundari and Gojo kill the higher ups together. Then there's the whole birthday party. The Shinjuku Showdown with Plot Twist was also fun as hell.

Honestly that whole fic was a good time start to finish.

𑁍 Fanfic Asks 𑁍

[mephiestophyl]

sylus really has me wondering if he even has a heart in his chest at all? I mean, with his current form, there is some dialogue that suggests that there is something beating in there — maybe it's some sort of fake heart that was put there (this may be a stretch)?

my doubts about him having a real heart stems from two things — 1) the knowledge that his current form isn't his real form and 2) the fact that he didn't die from being shot in the heart and can regenerate from his injuries when it is night time and has made multiple allusions to not being able to die. the dialogue above suggests that maybe he does have a heart in there, but then there are also these lines that he says??

he's just so ominous 😭 (third pic is from where you touch directly where his heart is/should be)

the first two lines he says here could be interpreted as him meaning that he's never been scared or excited before, but I can't find myself agreeing with it due to his tone of voice. I think he wouldve came off as more arrogant like a "heh, I wonder what THAT feels like 😼" with cockiness in his tone, instead of the "I wonder what that feels like... 😮‍💨" with a visible longing in his voice

his heart being a fake/imitation would also explain why his heartbeats are so irregular and high, as it would not function how a real heart normally does, as well as the fact that he still breathes perfectly fine after being shot directly in the heart (which then begs the question of how he even breathes, or if he even needs oxygen to begin with)

and then there's this line?? I'm probably over thinking it, but this line could either mean 1) a more likely conclusion of the plants being unable to produce oxygen due to the environmental conditons of the N109 zone (which it is true that plants arent able to thrive in the N109 zone as told in sylus' myth), or 2) they are unable to produce oxygen around him due to sylus not being able to produce any carbon dioxide when he exhales, as that is something produced by humans and animals which would ultimately exclude him

some could argue that sylus does have a real heart inside him and that in this scene he just regenerated his heart wound, but I just can't agree because his regeneration speed would have to be LIGHTNING fast to recover from being shot in the heart, and from what we've seen from this scene and when his cheek was nicked by MC with the knife, there's a visible delay between how long the injury lingers and the recovery + he also purposefully lowers the gun from where MC intended to shoot him in the head to where his heart is, which THEN makes me wonder if he can die from being shot in the head and through his brain.. and then it also makes me wonder what would happen if he was shot in the heart while under the sun?? would he die instantly or would he just recover extremely slowly?? sigh, this man is just so complicated

this isn't even including the amount of times that sylus just straight up says that he's heartless man,,

I also think that sylus longs to have a real heart, as it is hinted at in the 2nd image that I show here, as well as the fact that he probably doesn't view himself as someone capable of human emotion since he does not qualify as a human, and wants to feel in the way that humans do, plus he most likely views himself as a heartless monster (excluding but as well as in a literal sense) and therefore he believes that he is lacking something to be sensitive, even tho he is already a sensitive person and does not realise it 🥺

this bit is also a stretch, but what if his "real heart" lies in MC? we know that sylus has referred to us and him as "being the same", and that we are "two kindred spirits", and that they both have aether cores implanted in them

sylus also suggests that we have some sort of debt that we have to pay him and that we owe him our life, which could mean that we owe him our own/his heart?

but if our heart does belong to him, how did we even end up with it to begin with? and does this mean we have to die for him eventually? or if he has to take MC's life like how MC took his (though I dont actually know if he died during that scene as he is still capable of grabbing MC's hand in his as theyre holding the sword in his chest, but he either couldve died shortly after and was possibly reborn or he was temporarily subdued by the sword)? maybe the reason sylus is unable to die is beacuse we have his heart?

I didn't really think that last part through all that much, but hopefully there will be some more clues/hints down the line that suggest to something similar to what I'm trying to say

in conclusion I have no idea what's going on with this man dude

[johannstutt413]

(requested by anonymous; continuing from this post)

“Mmmmm...” Nearl’s eyes flickered between open and shut for a minute or so, smiling unconsciously. She was so warm, but in her half-awake state, she couldn’t quite remember why.

The Doctor’s voice in her ear reminded her. “Good morning, sleepyhead.”

“What time is it?” She turned to face him, doing her best not to push him away with her tail. “Are we late to anything?”

“I called Kal’tsit again and got another day off, so we’re fine. Unless you wanted to go to work today?”

Nearl sleepily chuckled and kissed his forehead. “Not if I can lie here with you instead. Last night was so wonderful, I’d wondered if I’d dreamed it...I’m so happy it was real.”

“I feel exactly the same way.” The Doctor pulled himself closer; as long as he was here with her, he had no reason to get out of bed. “...Heh.”

“Hmm?”

He gave her a definitely-completely-innocent smile. “Nothing.”

“What are you thinking about?” When he didn’t reply, just laid there with a goofy smirk on his face, she started giggling. “My novels never said anything about something like this happening after the couple’s first night together.”

“Did they say anything about the next morning being an encore performance?”

That woke her up a little. “A few of them. Would you mind if I had something to eat first?”

“...Kind of,” he admitted, “but I am starting to get hungry myself...How about I take you out for brunch, then?”

“That sounds nice...Do you think yesterday counted as a date, or are we skipping around in the order?”

The Doctor shrugged. “I have no idea, Marge...Are we going to get up?”

“I was going to,” she replied, “but I’m not really awake yet. Could you, um...That one thing you did last night, could you do it again?”

“What are you- oh, that. Huh. I mean, it probably is easier on an empty stomach, I guess.”

Nearl rolled onto her back, taking him with her. “Thank you, darling.”

“Of course, love.” He pushed himself onto his knees, taking her in as if for the first time all over again and giving his body a chance to remember how he’d done this the first time. “What a way to start the day...”

-- -- -- --

Once the Doctor aroused Nearl from her half-sleep and they had a chance to freshen up, the two of them took the scenic route from his room to hers (for a more date-ready outfit) and then to the only restaurant in Rhodes Island’s complex with a view of the gardens. Between the serenity of the gardens, the joy of each others’ company, and the delicious meal accompanied by a glass or two of wine (because brunch is a wine meal, no doubt about that), the Kuranta was certain she couldn’t have asked for a better way to start her life with the Doctor.

That was what this was, wasn’t it? “Um, Doctor...Can I ask you something about the future?”

“I’m not Gitano, but I’ll try my best. What do you want to know?” He swirled his glass, peering as if the crimson tide within held an answer.

“Regarding us...” She sighed. “I know it’s too early for me to be thinking about being your wife, but...after we’ve had some more time to learn about each other, would you marry me?”

The Doctor set his wineglass to the side, coughed into his elbow, and from inside his jacket as he straightened his arm again, he pulled out a pair of bronze rings on a necklace-length chain. “One moment.”

“Are those from before your amnesia struck?”

“They are not,” he replied, undoing the chain and taking both rings off of it. “Do you remember Griffon and Valkyrie?”

The codenames of the two fallen Operators pained her for a moment. “I do.”

“Before her last mission, Val had a premonition that they wouldn’t be returning to Rhodes Island alive, so she gave these to me. She asked me to hold onto them in case she was wrong...but if she was right, she wanted me to have them, and when I felt the time was right, to give one to the person who made my heart soar like Griffon did.”

“That’s...” Morbid, but also in a rather romance-novel/soap opera this-isn’t-how-that-works-but what-if-it-did-just-once sort of way, “beautiful.”

He smirked. “At the time, I was certain I’d never have a use for them, but I held onto them for their sake. However, now that you’ve come into my life, I feel like a fool in the best kind of way for having done so.”

“So are these...engagement rings, then?”

“I think you need to be closer to the wedding for those,” the Doctor offered. “But since I see no reason to make a distinction along those lines, I’d say it’s the best name for them. Margaret Nearl, the light who outshines the sun in my eyes and in my heart, I promise that one day, when we’re ready to take that step, I will go with you to the altar so we can become one in the eyes of the law. Until then, let this ring be a reminder that, wherever life takes us, I am yours alone, and yours completely, beyond even the veil of death.”

Nearl’s eyes glittered with tears as she began to glow. “Doctor...How do you say such wonderful things so easily?”

“Because I’m saying them to someone more wonderful than words could ever hope to express.” He held out his hand, both rings in it, and as she extended hers for him to put one on her finger, he also handed her the other.

“I um...should I say a few words as well?” She stared at the second band of bronze. “I’m not sure I can match your poetry.”

He smiled encouragingly. “Your voice alone is music to my ears, darling; don’t trouble yourself with the details and simply let your heart speak.”

“...The day I left my home, exiled because of my recent Infection, I heard a street preacher proclaiming that the end of the world was upon us. With the life I’d imagined for myself in pieces on the ground around me, and the sun setting on my faith in the goodness of my fellow man, I believed him wholeheartedly. There was no light at the end of the tunnel, because it was not a tunnel, but a pit which swallowed men whole and cast them into eternal shadow. I imagined that was my fate, but resolved that until I met it, there was nothing I could do but attempt to give others hope...even if I was hopeless myself.

“When I met Shining and Liz, at first I saw kindred spirits - others who had been shattered by the truth but who struggled, like me, to deny it. After spending more time with them, however, my hope began to return. Maybe the pit I’d fallen into wasn’t as deep as I’d let myself believe it was, and slowly but surely, I began climbing its walls, sheer but surmountable. With the Followers at my side, I came to see the light in the world again. The first day I saw Rhodes Island’s flying city on the horizon, the sun rising behind it, I knew I hadn’t lost anything from being exiled. This would be my new home, and I would bring light to the Infected who’d fallen for the same lies I had. Then I met you...and I wondered again.”

He blinked. “What did you wonder?”

“You worked yourself to the bone every day, but you took no joy in your victories, nor did you curse at your failures. It was as if someone had stolen your soul and left your body to go about its motions without any heart to them.” She sniffled. “It was like looking in a mirror showing me my former lost self. I tried several times to reach through to you, but all I could do was watch as I felt the shadow deepening, and darkening, and the pit stretching out to take you...If I couldn’t save you, then who could I save?”

“But you did save me.”

Nearl nodded. “I did, I suppose...but only at the last minute.”

“Nearl, I wasn’t dying the night you found me.” The Doctor squeezed her hand, which hadn’t moved since he’d handed her the ring. “You’ve seen my arm, I’ve been cutting myself for weeks.”

“But you were dying, Doctor - slowly, but surely. Every day, you danced closer to the edge of the second pit, the same one that swallowed other colleagues of mine in the past. That was the edge I pulled you from that night. The next morning, lying next to you, I sincerely wondered if I could really be enough to save you, but then...I know you weren’t awake, but you muttered something in your sleep.”

He blushed. “I remember that, actually.”

“You do?” She cocked her head. “Were you awake?”

“No, I was asleep, but I had a dream about you. You wanted me to climb a ladder, but I was scared because it looked too tall for me to reach the top...So you picked me up and walked up it like it was a staircase, whispering in my ear, ‘You see? It wasn’t a ladder at all.’ And then I looked back, and the sun was rising, so I said-’”

Nearl said it as he did. “‘It’s so bright.’ That was all I needed to hear to know it wasn’t hopeless for you, but then I remembered what you’d said before you fell asleep, and, well...Where were we?”

“You were telling me your life story before putting a ring on my finger.”

She blushed and put the ring on. “There. Sorry, I got lost walking down memory lane.”

“It’s alright, Marge. You took me along for the trip.” The Doctor squeezed her hand again. “Are you awake now?”

“Certainly...if this isn’t a dream, I mean.”

He chuckled, standing up and taking her with him. “If it is, there’s no way I’m letting us wake up yet. Let’s go home.”

“Home? Oh, your room, of course.” Nearl skipped to close the arm’s length between them and set her head on his shoulder. “Rhodes Island as a whole has been my home since I arrived, Doctor, but now? Home will be wherever you are.”

[hurt-care]

The Fitting

I got really inspired by Finnpeach's post and I honestly have wanted to write something like this for ages. Please enjoy this F/F 1860s/70s era sweetness.

-

There was no rescheduling it now; Miss Louisa Abbott would be coming via a coach at any minute with the selection of underpinnings to be fit and finished. The problem was that the lady she was set to fit was feeling remarkably under the weather.

Miss Catherine O'Malley sat at the small tea table in her room with the morning tea service in front of her and a lace-trimmed handkerchief in her lap. She'd woken with the prickle of dryness in her throat and the beginnings of congestion gathering in her nose. The cook had brewed her up a spicy ginger tea with a hefty dose of lemon and honey, but it did not seem to be making much difference.

From her window on the upper level of the multi-story brownstone, she looked down at the city street below. It was a quiet, grey-looking morning and despite the fact that it was April, she'd had the fire in her room lit for the day.

Yet unmarried, Catherine had taken up residence in a family property in the city while she completed some education at a nearby ladies' institute. Her small staff took care of her and the house was a popular gathering place for some of the other women of education who also lived nearby. The lengthy salons were spirited discussions between young minds and Catherine relished living on her own in the city.

There was one particular young lady who was not of the same class, but who had come to be a great friend to Catherine. Miss Abbott first came to outfit Miss O'Malley in the finest underpinnings in Boston when she'd first taken up residence in the city. Her mother had sent some money to outfit her with a few new corsets and chemises, and Catherine had contacted Miss Abbott at the recommendation of a friend from the ladies' institute.

From that day, they were quick to become kindred spirits. And then they found themselves becoming closer and more intimate. Miss Abbott had once said that there was nothing more sacred and intimate than the layers of silk and linen that hid beneath a lady's gown. They'd soon discovered the pleasure of exploring each layer of each other, bit by bit.

As was the usual routine when Miss. Abbott visited, Miss O'Malley had given her house staff the day to themselves with the instructions to return in time to prepare her dinner service. James, the footman and valet, had offered to ride over to Miss Abbott's shoppe and tell her of Catherine's ill-health, but Miss O'Malley had declined. She needed the new corset for a ball in Concord the next weekend and there would be no other time to fit it.

In spite of her blossoming head-cold, Catherine found it difficult not to feel a rush of excitement as she watched the street for Louisa's coach. She toyed with the trim of her dressing gown, running her fingers down and across the pale swell of her own chest, rubbing her palm there to warm the chilled skin. She wore just her chemise and robe with an added shawl for warmth. There had been no point to dressing for the day if she was just going to be made to undress again. The maid had set up her boudoir for the fitting with her mirror and a small pouffe to stand upon if necessary, along with a table for Louisa and a chair.

There was the clatter of hooves on the cobblestones slowing to a stop out front and Catherine stood, craning her neck to see down to the street. Louisa emerged from the carriage and the driver unloaded two small cases from the rear.

Catherine stood and rushed to the mirror at her vanity, looking at her pale reflection and the slight tinge of pink around her nostrils. She pinched her own cheeks for a bit of colour and then hurried downstairs to meet Louisa at the door.

She opened the front entrance and stood back, letting the young woman carrying the two cases inside.

“Good morning!” Louisa chirped, giving a broad smile as she set down the cases. She shut the large front door behind her and then turned to Catherine. “Oh, I've missed you!”

Catherine blushed and smiled.

“I've missed you terribly,” she said.

Louisa bit her lip and grinned coyly.

“We're alone?”

“We are,” Catherine confirmed. “The staff have gone down to the wharf for the afternoon.”

Louisa shed her travelling coat and tossed it on a chair.

“Good. Forget decorum then.”

She approached Catherine with the same broad grin on her face and moved to embrace her.

“Oh, sweet, I'm sorry,” Catherine said, stepping back. “I'm afraid I'm a bit under the weather.”

Louisa pursed her lips and then frowned.

“Oh no! Why didn't you send word? We could have done this another day.”

“I have that salon and ball at Malcolm's this weekend and I need the corset for my gown,” Catherine said. “I know, I wish I could have changed things but this was the only time that would work. I do apologize. I don't think I'm too poorly, but-- ehh-”

She stuttered and as if she'd cursed herself by saying she wasn't thatill, Catherine fumbled in her dressing gown pocket for her handkerchief and smothered a small, restrained sneeze.

Tsh-GXHT!

Louisa made a soft sound of sympathy.

“Oh, love,” she said, reaching out to tuck a loose strand of Catherine's hair back and stroking her cheek. “I'm sorry. We'll try to make it as easy as possible.”

“Thank you,” Catherine said, flushing pinker. “I feel like I must look a mess. I do like to be a bit more put-together for you.”

“No sense in being put-together if we're just going to undress you anyhow,” Louisa teased. “Should we go up? If you're not well, I don't want to keep you too long.”

“Yes, it's warmer up there and Mary's set up my dressing room for the fitting.”

They brought the cases upstairs and into Catherine's bedroom, shutting the door to keep the warmth of the fire trapped inside. Louisa unclasped the buckles on the cases and flipped them open, revealing layers of delicate lace and silk and linen.

“I've been hard at work,” she said, reaching in and retrieving a pale pink silk-covered corset with velvet piping and embroidered flowers.

“Oh!” Catherine gasped, reaching for the delicate garment. “Oh, you're outdone yourself! It's beautiful, Lou.”

“It'll suit you beautifully.”

“I don't want you to catch my chill, but I can't help myself, I'm so pleased,” Catherine said, leaning in and kissing Louisa's cheek.

“I'm healthy,” Louisa said playfully. “I don't want you to stay away from me. Can I say a proper hello?”

She sided up close to Catherine and slipped her arms around her, embracing her. They tucked their heads next to each other, leaning in.

“I like your hair like this,” Louisa remarked, running her fingers through Catherine's loose cascade of blonde waves. “I don't think I've ever seen it down.”

“I told Mary not to bother with it today,” Catherine said shyly.

“It's lovely.”

“Thank you. You look lovely today too.”

Louisa pulled back so she could see Catherine's face.

“Well, I knew I was coming here,” she said with a grin. She gestured to the corset. “Should we try it on, then?”

“Yes, please,” Catherine said.

She stood in front of the large mirror and shed her robe and shawl, standing only in her chemise with the lace trim at the neck. Gently, Louise wrapped the corset around Catherine's waist and held it in place at the back where the strings would be tied.

“It looks perfect,” Catherine said, running her hands down the velvet trim.

“It's as if I'm somehow familiar with your shape,” Louise teased and Catherine laughed openly.

“Will you lace me?” she asked. “I want to see how it looks with the gown.”

“Of course.”

With practiced hands, Louisa threaded the strings and began to tighten the corset row by row. She tugged hard, forming the boning into the delicate hourglass shape. As she yanked on the next row, she heard Catherine gasp.

“Is it too tight?”

Heh-TSCHHT!

The gasp had not been a gasp at all, but a slight hitch of breath. The gentle, soft sneeze made Catherine stumble a little but she regained her balance.

“I'm so sorry,” she said, embarrassed. “Louisa, love, my handkerchief is in my dressing gown pocket. Can you reach it?”

“I've got one right here,” Louisa said, fishing in her skirts and holding out a small linen square. “You can return it later.”

Catherine dabbed her nose carefully and sniffled a little.

“Should I keep lacing?”

“Yes, please,” Catherine said, admiring her shape in the mirror.

Louisa tugged the cords tighter until the corset was laced fully.

“The gown's in the wardrobe there,” she said. “Would you help me put it on?””

“Of course,” Louisa agreed. “I'll fetch it.”

“It's the coral silk.”

Louisa opened the large wardrobe and took out the dress, pooling it on the floor and taking Catherine's hand to help her step in. She gathered up the top of the dress and pulled it up over Catherine's corset and helped her into the arms.

“Oh, it's beautiful,” Louisa said breathlessly as she buttoned the delicate pearl fasteners along the back of the dress.

Charlotte stepped towards the looking glass and inspected the fit.

“It very nearly matches the colour of my poor nose,” she remarked, still holding Louisa's handkerchief. She dabbed it gently against the pink nostrils.

“You look beautiful,” Louisa said softly, coming up behind Catherine and pulling her long hair back off her shoulders to reveal the delicate neckline of the dress. “I almost want to say please don't wear it to the ball. I don't want anyone else knowing how beautiful you are.”

Catherine reached up and took Louisa's hand, kissing her knuckles.

“I will have thoughts for no one but you.”

“Good,” Louisa said with a smile, circling her arms around Catherine's waist.

“Louisa, I'm sorry I--” Catherine stammered, slowly pulling away. She pressed the handkerchief to her face as she shuddered with a small, restrained sneeze

Ngh-GXT!

“Bless you,” Louisa soothed, stoking Catherine's hair.

“I--”

Catherine could not speak further. Her breath hitched wildly, the swell of her chest rising and falling as she struggled.

Ehh...hehh---eh-TSGHT!

She stepped away from Louisa's touch, pinching the handkerchief to her nose.

TsXHT! Ehh-TSGHT!

She stifled the sneezes as much as she could, keeping the sound soft and quiet despite the strength of the itch in her nose.

TshCCHT!

She took a shuddering breath and swayed suddenly. Louisa rushed forward, putting a steadying hand on Catherine's back.

Ehh-GHXT! TshHXT!

Catherine swayed again, clutching a hand to her chest.

“I'm ever so dizzy,” she managed to say between hitching breaths. “I-- the corset---I--ehhTSXHHT!”

“Sit, love,” Louisa urged, turning her towards a chair.

“No,” Catherine gasped. “I—it's too tight, I can't—ehh....heh-TSGHT!”

She reached for the buttons of her gown, fumbling blindly at the fasteners.

“Shh, I have them,” Louisa assured her, hurrying to unbutton the back. Catherine clutched at the heavy mahogany wardrobe for support, breath rushing in and out in shallow gasps. And then she began to cough, her chest straining against the corset with each dry bark. Louisa shoved the gown down and began to loosen the strings, tugging and threading as fast as she could until the corset was finally loose enough to pull down.

Eh-TSGHHHT!

Catherine sneezed loud and rough, no longer able to contain her sneezes as delicate stifles.

“Oh, love,” Louisa said, gently taking Catherine's arm. “Here.”

She guided the sniffling woman over to the massive four-poster bed and sat her down.

“Let me,” she said, taking the handkerchief from Catherine's grip and carefully wiping away a mess of tears and snot from Catherine's face. Catherine made a small, whimpering sob and Louisa could see her bottom lip beginning to tremble.

“Oh, sweet, I'm so sorry you're not feeling well,” she said, sitting beside Catherine and gathering her up in her arms. Catherine's head rested against her chest and Louisa stroked her hair soothingly.

“Let's get you settled into bed, dear heart,” she said. “No more fittings today.”

[piracytheorist]

Lillpon’s Pet Name Pet Peeve

I want to start this by saying I’m not judging anyone anymore and that I don’t think I’m in any way superior for my choices. Just a simple opinion but also a long-winded one.

Inspired by @killian-whump ‘s post about OUAT Pet Names, which I will do myself and post in a while. I honestly want to thank KW though, because that very post prompted me to talk about something I’ve been looking for an excuse to talk about since I joined Tumblr four and a half years ago. Heh. And that is...

I fucking hate the nickname “Rumple”. I hated it from the first moment it was used (I think it was 1x12?) and genuinely hoped they wouldn’t have other characters use it... and then pretty much everyone did. But I thought, “But there must be more people who agree with me, right? ... Right?” But then I joined Tumblr and it was completely reversed. I may be the only one on the whole planet that doesn’t use it.

Why, you ask. First, I’m generally not a fan of shortening names of fictional characters. Similarly why I don’t like Killy/Kil for Killian, Em/Ems for Emma... whatever, you name it. It’s really just a personal opinion, but I can get behind it happening, especially for names that... can sound a little weird. And let’s be honest, Rumpelstiltskin is more than a little weird and hard to type all the time, trust me, I know. The thing is, I felt that “Rumple” suddenly cutesified a complex, vicious villain. Something he was at the point where we first heard it in the show... but then we went back and we saw that Milah called him that, his father called him that... and I’d have been fine with that. But seeing something like this

and thinking “I’m going to call him something cute!”... I mean, though I didn’t like it, it kinda made sense for Belle to use it at the point, she was falling in love and wanting to see the best in him. But pretty much everyone else? Huh?

Anyway. It was hella weird to me to see not only people on Tumblr call him “Rumple”, but even people I knew offline. And something you need to know about Greeks is that, like Germans, we’re completely used to long-ass names (probably not Icelandic-like ones, though). So I was very weirded out when I saw other Greek fans use it... actually, all of those I met. Anyway, yeah, it was really weird and I actually needed some time to get used to it. I luckily got used to it pretty clear, but even after all this time, I still can’t bring myself to use it, aside from some tagging purposes *cough*negativity*cough*. I mean it. You can literally search my blog for it, and it will only come up as part of a tag, other people using it, or mention of it as a nickname.

So I’m brought to my second “reason” to not use it... and that’s because Killian doesn’t use it either. Idk, maybe I found a kindred spirit in him when it came to that? He used all kinds of ill-meaning nicknames towards him, only calling him by name once or twice in the whole run of the series (unless when talking about him, where he’d use full Rumpelstiltskin), but never, not once, not even mockingly, “Rumple”.

*record scratch*

*awkward silence*

Sigh... I guess another reason the finale rubbed me wrong... it was because it was the first time we saw Killian use it. After he looks at his “sad ending” book and closes it, he says he’s going to find “Weaver... I mean, our Rumple”. And yes, I noticed it from the first watch, and I’d genuinely hoped I’d heard wrong.

I’d be lying if I said my heart didn’t break just a little bit right then. The one character who had consistently not used that name for good reasons, you’d think, just did and... Especially considering my overall feelings about the relationship between those two... it was kind of the cherry on top. So much for kindred spirit :/

You’ll say, it was such a small thing, why did you care so much. Meh. I did. I have issues. 

Anyway. Back to having fun with stuff about the show.

[mineokun]

Mineo Enomoto Character CD Mini-Drama Translation

T/N: This is a translation of the mini-drama that comes with Mineo’s character CD. Though a subbed fan video may come later, I haven’t uploaded the audio alongside this. If you buy the CD (Animate | CDJapan (Ltd Edition) | Play-Asia) or already have the track available, you can follow along while reading this! Thanks also to @jokertrap-ran for helping me proofread!

Translation key: Ichika’s thoughts: ellipses... | (Mineo’s thoughts) | [sound effects]

A Talk Between Two in the Steam

(Mineo Enomoto. 23 years old. Spring’s finally come for me too, and I’ve been spending happy days with my girlfriend. It’s truly a rose-colored life!)

(As for the love bible I stuck with, ‘100 Heart-Jerking Love Confessions’, I haven't opened it again. The reason why being… Now, by my own determination, I'm climbing up the stairway of adulthood! That's right. The stairway of adulthood that is traveling to the hot springs with my girlfriend...!)

Ngh… All right. The hostess left. God, I've been holding back since earlier. I…feel like I'm gonna explode...

...

Heh. So you noticed too, huh? It's just the two of us now… So… it's okay if I don't hold back anymore, right...?

Then… I'll say it.

--AT LONG LAST! SETTING FOOT UPON THE PLACE WHERE DATE MASAMUNE AND COMPANY ACHIEVED THEIR DREAMS - WE'VE ARRIIIIVED!!

Oh, man! I’ve wanted to try coming here for so long! I'm so glad I boldly launched the suggestion at you! It'd be boring going alone after all, y’know? I'm really grateful that you decided to come along with me.

...

Yeah, yeah! When Masamune and his company were here, his role in defending against and resisting outside invaders is what revived them…!

…

Huh? I'm as excited as a kid?

Hmph - well, I'm sorry. I'm a kid who admires Masamune so much I have an eyepatch for him after all. I mean, him being from the Sendai era would more than grab my attention…

But that's fine! I’m here with the same kindred spirit as him after all! Even without words, we'll be able to understand each other! This is - the MASAMUNE SPIRIT!

Whoops, I got kinda fired up there. Let's go bathe separately first!

(Hooo! The smell of cypress is real soothing…)

(A chance to be able to take a carefree bath like this rarely comes by… With the trip in general, I asked where she wished she could go, wanting to bring her there as a man should. But we ended up coming here ultimately.)

(But still, she came with me without pulling a single face.)

(Even though I didn't know what a mashed green soybean flavored shake would taste like, it was so cool when we both took no notice just drinking from our straws…! We tried to drink it at the same time and we ended up bumping our foreheads. But, when we looked up at each other, and started laughing after that…! Eheh! Eheheheheheh!)

(But, man, her eyelashes are so long... I couldn’t help but notice when she was looking at the shake… Ugh! What am I, Shiraishi now?!)

(...No. That’s not it. She's the only one I end up making observations of. That's just ‘cause I love her and I can't help but do that. In other words - I just feel like saying something…)

(Traveling with my girlfriend is THE BEEEEST...!!)

...Ah! Over here, over here! How was it? Did you enjoy the hot spr--! CU--!

(Gh! W-Wow… She looks amazing wearing a yukata…! It-can't-be-it-looks-too-good-on-her-more-than-that-it's-seriously-so…!)

E-Eh?! Oh, n-no no, it's nothing! More importantly, how were the hot springs? Were you able to relax in there?

…

Yeah, I feel you. The cypress floating in the bath gave it a classic Japanese feel, didn't it?

…

Ah. I saw the arcade corner too while I was waiting, but this also seems pretty promising. We might as well, so what game do you…?

…

Oh? The photo booth together?

Ohh, you wanna take some pictures? Well, we can write words onto them, so it’ll be something to commemorate our trip! Heheh. I have to brag about this to Takeru and Yanagi…!

…

Whooa…! So this is the famous… Ah, I’m not so good at handling complicated controls, so I’ll leave that to you!

Even though… I wonder what people who have it all would think in a situation like this… Ah, nothing, just talking to myself.

Oh, are we taking one now? What pose should we do?

…

Ehhh…? Clapping our hands together softly then making our faces small after? That seems cool. Let’s try that out!

[click!]

Wow! Look at those visual effects! Well, your face is small and cute to begin with, though--

Ow! What was that for?! It’s not something to hit me over!

…

Huh? Could it be you’re…being shy...?

! What’s with that…? If you suddenly make a face like that…even I’ll--

[click!]

Ah--?! I wasn’t looking at the camera…! Right, we’re still in the middle of taking pics, aren’t we? For a pose... Doing a generic peace sign should be a safe bet, right?

[click!]

The next one’s the last. Then we gotta go out with a bang. Plus we’ve come this far… Should we do a Date Masamune-like pose here?

…

Huh? ...You wanna take one with us holding hands…?

! What’s with that adorable request…?! Gah! If you’re okay with my hand, then do as you like!

…

O-Oh… I should sit closer, huh…

...You know. I’m...really happy right now.

[click!]

Next comes writing on them, yeah? There are two copies, so let's take one each and show what we wrote on them to each other afterwards! It’ll be more exciting that way!

First things first are the icon stamps, so...

Hehe. Damn… I’m having so much fun. I’m seriously so glad I got to travel with you! Coming to a place you like with the person you love is the best!

…

Huh? What’s up? ...We only have a bit of time left to doodle on them?

Ack, s-seriously?! This wasn’t the time to feel so moved inside! There’s still so much I wanna write…!

[stylus tapping]

No! Not yet! Don’t give up, Mineo! The first photo booth session for fulfilled-real-lifers I get in my life is the one thing I can’t let go to ruin…! I’ll pour all my feelings of love into this…!!

[frantic stylus tapping]

Th-That was close…! I barely managed to finish writing… Did you finish?

…

Hehh. That’s a real piece of work. Well, I’m only able to say that now. I fashioned a considerable tour de force in there myself.

Oh, they’ve come out. Let’s see, let’s see...

Ah--! You have an eyepatch too…! I see. You drew on one with a pen, huh? Lining it up like this… It's like a matching couple look…

…

Eh? That’s what you meant to…?

! N-Now, you! Just what’re you trying to do, making me so happy?!

…

Eh--? My pictures?

W-Wait, don’t yell so loud…! There wasn’t any time writing it, and I lost myself getting into it. When it suddenly stopped, I… ‘I love you most in the world’, is what I wanted I write…

...Eh? You’re happy?

Ha. I see. If that makes you happy too, then I’m glad.

Whenever we look at these, we’ll remember today. It’s...kinda weird! Us having a calm time like this...didn’t use to be a given, either. Back then, we went through pain, through sadness. Even now, there are people out there desperately doing their best. Everyone has hard times to overcome, and their daily lives to get on with now.

...Ah, my bad. I got a little solemn there! Wait, what time is it now…? They said there’d be dinner at 7, didn’t they?

All right! There’s ox tongue calling our name! Let’s hurry...!

Ahh, I’m absolutely stuffed! That ox tongue was so thick and tasty! My feet went on their own and got three helpings for dinner! Ah, it was tough…

[tea being poured]

Oh! Thanks!

[sip]

Going back to our room after a feast and having you pouring tea for me… Maaan, it’s just perfect!

…

Oh? What now? That’s true… We’ve done what there is to do outside the ryokan for the most part…

(...)

(!)

(...!!)

(Crap…! What do I do?! I don’t know what we should do now that it’s just us two in the room…!)

(Not to mention, looking right at her in the eye while she’s in her yukata makes my heart pound-- Ah, wait. It’s awkward to keep silent. Umm, uhhh…!)

(Ah! Why don't we sleep sooner! No! It's still 9 - that's way too early!)

(What else could we do… Nnrgh…! Do you wanna explore the ryokan! What am I, some primary school kid?!)

…

Eh?! You brought playing cards…?

Oh… OHOHO, nice! Why don't we play old maid or something!

…

(Phew! What a lifesaver…!)

(...No. Hold on. Could this be…she saw me struggling and threw me a bone when I needed it? Things like this happen every time…)

(She…must be thinking that…)

…Hey. ...I, uh… I'm probably just a kid in your eyes, aren't I…?

…

I mean, today… I wanted to escort you from the beginning, but at some point I just started having fun by myself. I wanted to…be classier doing this. Heh… Even though I think it’s shameful even by my own standards…

[table slam; rattling]

Whoa! Y-You scared me… Eh, w-was that something to get angry over…?

…

! It's okay if I'm not an adult…? But I'm the older one here. At some point if things keep going like this--

…

Eh! I-I get it - calm down…!

…

Being in high spirits together with me - is fun…?

...I also enjoy being with you best. I wrote that on our pictures earlier, too. That you're the one who I…love most in the world, so…

…

Hm? That's…the one we took earlier, isn't it? Ohh. We were so pressed to get to dinner, we didn't really get to see what we wrote on it.

…

Ah! You wrote something on it, too? Let's see… Mineo, I...love you…

Th-This…! …!

Really? You also wrote you love me. To think that we get along even on this… Eheh. Man, how much do we love each other?

Hah… I'm sorry. Of course that'd make you angry. You said you love me as I am now after all. I'm not me when I force and overstretch myself. That's what you mean, right?

Hey. Come over here a bit.

…

You know, I… keep feeling like I'm acing an exam when I'm with you. Just being able to travel with you made me ecstatic, and when I saw you climbing over the rock in your yukata as well, it was…kind of…different from how you normally are. It got my heart racing. When I sat closer to you when we took pictures in the photo booth, stuff like the smell of your shampoo seriously got to me.

Then, uh… I'm saying this now, but… The truth is, I...felt a little like wanting to… k...kiss you...

…

Eh--! Stupid! Don't say stuff like you'd be glad even if I did! Don’t underestimate me. Now see here - men easily get carried away! You're someone I…want to treasure.

… [hand holding]

…!

You're…always like that.

No matter how much I run away… you chase me, hold onto me, and don't let me go. You got more guts than your outward appearance suggests. You're a cool woman.

Though this is the last time I'm making sure… It's really okay?

…

Heh. I got it. Then…

[kiss]

Your heart's pounding... Hehe. Mine is too.

But, you know. We're okay like this. Having the same feelings, we reach an understanding, and move forward together. Going like that suits us most. Though I end up putting on airs in front of you, saying what I really think like this and being natural at times is also important.

Same goes for you. If you have something you want to say, say it without holding back.

…

Oh? That face means there’s something you wanna say...! C’mon, what is it? Try saying it!

…

...Eh? ...W-...Wait a sec… I-I might've misheard you… J-Just now, what...did you say?

…

Gh--! Y-You want to sleep together...?! Wai… I-Isn't the hurdle suddenly too high?! Are we going that far up the stairway of adulthood and the like...?! I mean, it's not like I didn't think of that at all, but - I thought of taking it slow and building up to the climax where--!

…

...Eh? …Next to each other?

..Ahhh, so that'd be, uh… Sleeping snuggled up in the same futon… That kind of sleeping together?

...Ha. Hahaha! AHAHAHAHA! U-Uh, of course...! I thought that's what you meant! I-If that's what you'd like, we can do that however much you want! I’ve done that with my little sister! I'm her companion when I babysit!

…

H-Hey, hey, you don't need to pull my sleeve for me to...

…

Huh? ...Hey... Your face is - looking kinda scary...

…

Not the same as my sister…? Wh-- Ah-- Oh, no! When I said that I didn't mean it like...!

…

Wha-- Oh, w-whoa, whoa...!

Uh-- Umm… I made a slip-up, earlier. I apologized, so...please cheer up.

…

C’mon, it's not that I treat you like a little sister...! Mnghh…!

...I got it. It'll be fine if we sleep together like lovers, right? Uh… Then…

[shifting; rustling]

…How's this? It's an arm pillow. Th-This is - only something lovers do, right?

…

Gh--! Is that it…?! You little…! Even though this is plenty given the situation…! If you make too many demands now… That mouth of yours? Will be sealed shut.

…

!

Ha. Jeez… I understand how you feel veeery well. Even for me… To be this close to you, and not do anything about it…is impossible.

[kiss]

For all of today, and until morning comes… I won't let you go.

[repose-and-run]

Haname Yumishi | Get to Know the Character

► Name ➔    “Haname! Haname Yumishi!”

► Are you single ➔ “Nope, not anymore! I was single and NOT looking to mingle but I ended up caring too much about that troublemaking cherryboy and then he had to go and win me over. And now? I am his and he is mine! No regrets though! Heh!”

► Are you happy ➔   “Overall, yes! When the people I love and care about are happy, then I'm happy! It honestly doesn't take a lot to make me happy!"

► Are you angry? ➔   “Right now? Not really. I get annoyed pretty often now, but I don't get truly angry easily. That’d be bad for all. There are surefire ways to piss me off though. Don't go there or I can't guarantee your safety!"

► Are your parents still married ➔   “Yes? Unless something happened from when I stopped writing them. Even then, divorce is not really a thing in Sui-no-Sato. Knowing my parents, at worst they'd just give each other the silent treatment in private and put on a face in public."

NINE FACTS

► Birth Place ➔ “Sui-no-Sato, under the Ruby Sea. Borefest of a village with very traditional folks... Would not recommend visiting, even if you could breathe underwater and find it!”

► Hair Color ➔ “Light blonde.”

► Eye Color ➔ “Pitch black. I guess in a way, they do make me stand out!”

► Birthday ➔ “16th Sun of the 3rd Umbral Moon! Wasn't that long ago!"

► Mood ➔ “Mm... Pretty happy because of the family I’ve gained! We’re not actually related in any way, but our bonds run thicker than blood! There are some pretty big conflicts in my life though, but that just means I have to work harder to resolve them! Oh, and of course I'm always ready to fight the injustices of this world!”

► Gender ➔ “Female!"

► Summer or winter ➔ “I've never experienced a real winter yet unless you count being on top of a snowy tower in Coerthas, getting a love confession, and then throwing up all over his boots! Buuut as romantic as that was, I'm so not used to the cold, so Summer it is!”

► Morning or afternoon ➔ “I guess I'm more of a morning person. Always ready to start my day!"

EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE

► Are you in love ➔ “Very much so! He's my sun and stars! My partner in crime! The rolanberry of my eye! My one and only! I could go on and on but I'll stop there before I embarrass myself further... Eheh...”

► Do you believe in love at first sight ➔ “Nope, not at all. Even after going through thick and thin together, it took a lot for me to even accept being in love because I found out that when I love, I love fiercely and with everything that I am. I don’t want anyone else having him! And anyone that tries to hurt him or threaten him? I’ll crush them all! ...So I can't imagine something as stupid and unbelievable as love at first sight. How can you love someone unconditionally when you don't even know them and their flaws, much less trust them? Total bogus!"

► Who ended your last relationship ➔ “This is my first relationship and the only one I'll ever accept!”

► Have you ever broken someone’s heart ➔  "Huh?! I don't think so! If I did, I know nothing about it! Unless you mean literally breaking someone's heart by cleaving my axe through their chest, then sure!"

► Are you afraid of commitments ➔ “Yeaaah, just a little... Okay, a lot! I'm a flighty person, okay?! But I don't regret the ones I let into my life. Because like I said, I love fiercely! Heh! Aren't they lucky? They're my family and they mean the world to me!"

► Have you hugged someone within the last week? ➔ “Well, I'm learning to be more affectionate! Affection just wasn't something that was shown very often back in Sui-no-Sato. But now, there's my sun and stars that I hug every morning the moment I'm awake (and in my sleep but I think that sometimes ends up being a dangerous chokehold), and often times throughout the day too! He's also the last person I hug before bedtime. Then I also try to give hugs to the other Sweepers if I see any of them feeling down, but they usually flinch or run away. Guess I need to work harder at showing affection..."

► Have you ever had a secret admirer ➔ “Huh? Not that I know of! Does this tie back to the question about breaking hearts?"

► Have you ever broken your own heart? ➔ “Wait, how would that even work? What a complicated question!"

SIX CHOICES

► Love or lust ➔ “Pfft, there's no contest there. Love for sure!"

► Lemonade or iced tea ➔ “Both! And even better if you mix both!"

► Cats or Dogs ➔ “Both!"

► A few best friends or many regular friends ➔ “A few best friends. I'd rather have a small handful of people I can trust and call family than a whole lot of acquaintances!"

► Wild night out or romantic night in ➔ “What's with all these romance questions?! If by wild night out, you mean destroying our enemies together, then I'm fine with either or! Any time spent with my honeybuns is still time well spent, whether we’re working on crushing a Monetarist scumbag or just sitting around chatting!"

► Day or night ➔ “Daytime! New day, new adventures, new developments!”

FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS

► Been caught sneaking out ➔ “Well, I have no reason to sneak out anymore ever since I left Sui-no-Sato... But yeah, I got caught all the time as a kid, mostly because I’m no good at sneaking around. I’m more of the type to bust in, guns ablazing! ..’Cept I don’t have guns!”

► Fallen down/up the stairs ➔ “You know, for all the times people call me a ditz, I’ve never once fallen down or up stairs before. Suck on that! Heh!”

► Wanted something/someone so badly it hurt? ➔ “I guess for me, it’s more of a ‘something’... At one point, I felt so powerless and was so desperate to keep my loved ones safe. I was on the verge of losing them and that ‘something’ inside me cracked open like an egg and has been a part of me ever since! I’ll keep using that ‘something’ too, so I’ll never have to feel so powerless again and the people I love can rest easy!”

► Wanted to disappear ➔ “What? No way! If I’m gone, who’s going to protect everyone and put a smile on their faces?! I’m irreplaceable!”

FOUR PREFERENCES

► Smile or eyes ➔ “Both! When his eyes smile, that’s the best. Hehe!”

► Shorter or Taller ➔ “Well, it doesn’t take much to be taller than me... So taller is the pick by default...”

► Intelligence or Attraction ➔  “Pfft, both of those are only secondary to having a heart of gold! What’s it matter if they’re smart and good looking but they’re a scumbag?!”

► Hook-up or Relationship ➔ “Relationship, of course! I honestly don’t understand how people can have hook-ups... Blegh! Just the thought of it gives me the heebie jeebies! What if you land yourself some creepo?!”

FAMILY

► Do you and your family get along ➔ “My biological family? Nope! We’re kind of estranged at this point... In fact, they probably think I’m dead. Oops! But the family I built in Eorzea? Well, we have our ups and downs, and we bicker a lot but I love them and they mean the world to me!”

► Would you say you have a “messed up life” ➔ “Eh, I think I’ve had it pretty well compared to some of the stories I’ve heard...”

► Have you ever ran away from home ➔ “Weeeelll... I guess being sent to study abroad, dropping out of school to pursue a life of crime while never writing back to your parents to know your whereabouts counts as running away...!”

► Have you ever gotten kicked out ➔ “I almost got kicked out of the Sweepers safehouse... Stupid nodes...”

FRIENDS

► Do you secretly hate one of your friends ➔ “No way! If I hated them, they wouldn’t be a friend. Why make it a secret?”

► Do you consider all of your friends good friends ➔ “Well, they’re good to me..!”

► Who is your best friend ➔ “’That’s a hard one to answer. There’s a small handful of people that I consider family and I trust with my life. And then there’s one that I love with all my heart, that’s a kindred spirit and my soulmate! They can all be considered my best friends, right?”

► Who knows everything about you ➔ “Well to be totally honest, I don’t even know everything about myself. Every day is like a journey of self-discovery or something cheesy like that! So I’d be surprised if there was someone who knew everything about me. But there is one person who knows my thoughts both metaphorically and literally, who knows what makes me tick, who can finish my sandwiches-- I mean sentences! And I’m lucky to say that I get to wake up every morning to that person!”

Tagged by @chantokahkol thank you! :3c

Tagging: @sunhiskies @yurensohn @invxeners @coeurlfist @keeperofthelilacs @adreamofserenity and anyone else who wants to do it!

[fire-emblem-heroes-supports]

Summoner/Xander C-S Support

Written by @polast-u-s

Author’s note: I don’t know how Grand Hero Battles are mentioned in canon, do they work like tournaments? I just assume the characters would vaguely refer to them as grand battles. And a huge thank you to tumblr user @andthenalittledash for helping me come up with the S support and confession quote.

C SUPPORT

(y/n): …

Xander: …

Xander: …(y/n), I know you’re there. Why don’t you come out?

(y/n): Was I that obvious? I thought I hid myself pretty well.

Xander: After facing you in battle so many times, I can sense when you are nearby. I considered you one of the most – no, in fact the most dangerous opponent I faced when I was fighting by Princess Veronica’s side. Your unorthodox strategies and improvisations kept me constantly on edge when I was fighting.

(y/n): I could say the same about you. You can turn the tide of a battle with one swing of Siegfried. It’s… reassuring to have you on our side now, Prince Xander.

Xander: But clearly I have not completely earned your trust, since you saw the need to spy on me, Summoner.

(y/n): No! I invited you to this castle of my own accord. I entered that grand battle willingly and won you over as a comrade. It’s just…

Xander: It’s just?

(y/n): It’s nothing! I’m sorry to have interrupted your training! Good day!

[The summoner runs away.]

Xander: Wait, (y/n)! What was that about?

[(y/n) and Xander have reached support rank C.]

B SUPPORT

 Xander: Good day, (y/n).

(y/n): Ack! Xander! I mean, Prince Xander!

Xander: Have I offended you somehow? You’ve been avoiding me since the other day.

(y/n): It’s not that… I’m just embarrassed that I ran away from you that day.

Xander: Unfortunately, I’m no stranger to that sort of thing. People often tell me that they find me rather intimidating.

(y/n): It’s not that either… Prince Xander, I’d like to ask a personal question, if you don’t mind.

[Xander raises a questioning eyebrow, but nods in assent.]

(y/n): Umm, do you find being in a war too much sometimes?

Xander: There are occasions when I feel sorrow for my enemies. But as a prince and a soldier, I cannot shy away from the fighting. If anyone gets in my way, their fate is to be cut down by my sword. That is all.

(y/n): Oh…

Xander: You are quite seasoned in battle, are you not? If memory serves, the one calmly giving out orders no matter how chaotic the situation gets is you. You cut an imposing figure in battle, (y/n).

(y/n): That’s because there’s so many people relying on me to do the job right. I can’t afford to make even one mistake because it’s not me getting hurt out there, it’s my friends and allies. I don’t have the magic potential to even be a healing support, much less fight! I’m useless. All I do is stand safely at the back and tell people what to do.

Xander: What? Is that what you’ve been thinking of yourself? You are our tactician, a valuable asset to our ranks!

(y/n): In my world’s history books, there are many wars that were begun simply because some people in charge didn’t like their neighbours. Soldiers were simply collateral damage, civilians became innocent sacrifices. How can I look at our army and not feel guilty for forcing them to fight for Askr?  

[The summoner covers their eyes.]

(y/n): I still can’t wrap my mind around all this fighting – that I could walk out of the castle and be stabbed if I wasn’t careful. Coming from a peaceful world where hardly any one carries weapons and then being thrown into such a violent world where even simple farmers have to know how to fight. But listen to me going on and on about myself. I’m sorry, Prince Xander. You shouldn’t have to listen to my -

Xander: No.

(y/n): Huh?

Xander: You were thrust into a difficult position despite your inexperience, yet you rose to the challenge as best as you could. You are quite like Princess Veronica in that aspect. Even your eyes remind me of hers.

(y/n): Do you… miss her? Whenever you talk about her your face kind of relaxes.

Xander: Heh. Do you suspect me of showing sympathy to our enemy, Summoner?

(y/n): Sometimes I feel sorry for Veronica too. In my world we would never have a young girl lead a nation’s army. She’s just a kid!

Xander: I feel much the same way. It is one of the reasons why I willingly chose to fight for her in order to share her burdens if I could. And now I can do the same for you, (y/n). I have pledged my loyalty to you – now allow me to offer not just my fighting skill but also my guidance. If you ever feel constricted by all the responsibilities you have, come talk to me. Perhaps I can lighten your load.

(y/n): Really? I don’t want to trouble you, though.

Xander: No trouble at all. We are comrades now, and we should support each other, no?

(y/n): Wahhh… you’re actually really nice even though your eyebrows are so fierce-looking, huh?

Xander: Excuse me?

(y/n): Nothing!

[(y/n) and Xander have reached support rank B.]

A SUPPORT

Xander: The leaves are starting to change colour. Have I been in Askr for that long? It seems like only yesterday that I was in Nohr, enjoying one of our infamous winter frosts with my family…

(y/n): Now you’re the one with the sad look on your face, Xander. What’s up?

Xander: (y/n)! I was just lost in thought.

(y/n): Really? You look very tired, though. Have you been sleeping well?

Xander: I suppose I’m just worried about my family, wherever they are right now. Are they safe and healthy? When will I see them again, if we manage to survive… If Icould sur…? Forgive me, (y/n). I’m just wool-gathering.

(y/n): Xander, are you alright? You look so pale. Let me take you to the infirmary, or bring you a cup of tea or, or…!

Xander: Calm down. I’m not about to collapse on the floor. The talk we had the other day about how all this fighting weighs heavily on your spirit lingers in my mind. After all, it’s important to consider the morale of our tactician.

(y/n): Well, about that… the reason why I approached you about it was because I sensed the same feelings from you.

Xander: From… me?

(y/n): Yeah. You talk about the necessity of fighting to protect your homeland and all that, but you always look so strained after each battle. You said that crossing swords can tell both parties things that mere words can’t convey… well, after fighting against you and now with you, I just got the feeling that this war depresses you like it depresses me. I mean, we didn’t exactly cross swords but… Oh man, am I confusing you?

[To the Summoner’s shock, Xander starts to laugh.]

Xander: No, no, I’m not mocking you. There’s no need to make that expression. Your perceptiveness surprised me, is all. So all this time when you were watching me, it was because you felt I was a kindred spirit?

(y/n): I knew for sure that you didn’t fight us out of mere spite, at least.

Xander: Ha! The other Heroes still regard me with suspicion, but you always look at me with such honest eyes. I thank you, Summoner. Your words gladden me… and you are right. You and I are more alike than I thought.

(y/n): Really? Then we could be besties!

Xander: Bes… ties?

(y/n): Best friends! Friends!

Xander: Friends, huh?

[(y/n) and Xander have reached support rank A.]

S SUPPORT 

[The Summoner returns from the training tower, shivering.]

(y/n): Whew… that was tough. Those Brave Lyns and Love Abounds Lilinas were such a pain in the-

Xander: (y/n). I would have words with you.

(y/n): Oh, Xander! What’s up?

Xander: I thought we had come to an understanding. It seems I was mistaken.

(y/n): Huh? What do you mean?

Xander: Take today, for instance. You assigned me to a search and destroy team but held me back, letting my teammates do most of the work. In fact, every time I tried to go to the frontline, you stopped me and sent someone else instead. I know that trust has to be earned, but I thought we were already…

(y/n): Wait-

Xander: I thought you knew that my loyalty now lies with Askr, but it seems I was wrong.

(y/n): XANDER, THAT’S NOT IT!

Xander: What?

(y/n): I, umm, shouldn’t have yelled. I-I’m sorry, but you’re wrong! I totally trust you! It’s just that I can’t fight, but I still wanna protect you and this is the only way I know how.

[The Summoner lowers their head.]

(y/n): I know as your superior I shouldn’t let my personal feelings control my actions, but I hate it when you get hurt! I mean, I hate it when the other Heroes get hurt too, but when it’s you, I can’t help myself! I know it’s dumb of you to try and protect you in this way, but…

Xander: …I see. But that was foolish. Very foolish. I am here as a soldier and getting injured in battle is part and parcel of this chaotic life. However…

[Xander gently pats the Summoner’s shoulder.]

Xander: Seeing you so worried about me actually makes me happy. It gives me the confidence to give you this.

(y/n): Wha- This is an engagement ring! Xander!

Xander: Spending all that time with you has opened my eyes to the sort of partner I would want, the sort of person I would want to rule the Kingdom of Nohr with me. And that person is you, (y/n). Brave, compassionate and strong in the face of struggle. The one I love is you. 

[The summoner and Xander both blush.]

Xander: Perhaps it was rash of me to ask you to abandon everything you know to come with me to Nohr, but I had to try. I understand if you decide to turn me down.

(y/n): I’m honoured, and I think… I think my family would understand. You’re my best friend, Xander, and they always told me to marry the person I love best in the world. But are you sure you really want me? I’m not royalty, or even nobility.

Xander: Status and rank mean nothing to me. Your spirit and personality has shown me that you are nobler than several members of the Nohrian court that I am loath to mention. So I ask you once more, and properly this time. (y/n), will you marry me?

[The Summoner laughs and throws themselves at Xander, hugging him tightly.]

Xander: I take that as a resounding yes, then.

[(y/n) and Xander have reached support rank S.]

Confession Quote:

Xander: Together, you and I will build a world where strife no longer exists and our future generations will not have to take up arms. Your pain is my pain, and mine yours. We will always share all our joys and sorrows together, my love. My heart and mind is yours to command. 

[fire-emblem-supports]

Seliph & Lucina: C - S Supports

(Requested by @gloriousloser16)

C Support

Seliph: Hello? Are you Lucina?

Lucina: That’s right. And you are?

Seliph: Seliph. Kiran wants us to be partnered up from now on. He/She said he/she thought we have a lot in common.

Lucina: Ah. It’s nice to meet you, Seliph.

Lucina: I suppose we should see if Kiran is right. Tell me about yourself?

Seliph: Well... My father is named Sigurd. He was killed in battle and my mother was kidnapped, so I was raised by a distant relative.

Seliph: My father’s murderer became the emperor, and his son, my half-brother, brought the empire to ruin under the influence of a dark god.

Seliph: I ended up slaying them both.

Lucina: I see. Then I know exactly what Kiran meant. I, too, lost my father and mother to a close friend manipulated by a dark god.

Seliph: Were you able to defeat them?

Lucina: I... was. I was sent back in time and worked with my past father to stop Grima from ever being revived.

Seliph: Oh. You’re... quite lucky. I wish I could have gone back and fought alongside my parents...

Lucina: ...

Seliph: Not that it makes a difference now. I’ll see you on the battlefield, right?

Lucina: Of course.

B Support

Lucina: Hah... Hah... Where did all of these Emblians come from?

Seliph: Lucina!

Lucina: Seliph! Is that you?!

Seliph: Where are you?!

Lucina: I think I see you! Hold on!

Axe Fighter: Heh! Got you!

Lucina: Ack!

Seliph: NO!

(axe sound)

Seliph: Agh--!

Axe Fighter: What the?!

Lucina: HIII-YAH!

(sword sound)

Axe Fighter: Urk...

Lucina: Seliph! Seliph, are you alright?!

Seliph: Hah... Just fine...

Lucina: Damn... you were cut pretty deep. We’d better get you back to--

Seliph: I’m fine. I can fight.

Lucina: I’m not letting you fight. We have to retreat!

Seliph: I won’t run away, Lucina!

Seliph: I won’t... I won’t run away.

Lucina: Don’t be a fool, Seliph!

Seliph: I will... be stronger. I will live up to my father’s legacy. I will--

Lucina: I’M NOT LOSING YOU, SELIPH!

Seliph: What?

Lucina: I’m not... I can’t... lose you. I can’t lose anyone else.

Seliph: Lucina, I...

Lucina: Please...

Seliph: ...I’m... sorry...

(thud)

Lucina: Seliph? Seliph! Someone! I need a healer, now!

A Support

Lucina: Seliph. I’m glad to see you looking well again.

Seliph: The healers say I’ve made a full recovery.

Lucina: Thank goodness...

Seliph: Lucina... can we talk? About what happened.

Lucina: Yes... I think we need to.

Seliph: I’m sorry that I worried you. I didn’t even think about how I would feel if... if I saw someone...

Lucina: And I apologize for getting so worked up. We’ve known each other for such a short time, yet we’re such kindred spirits that I got... attached.

Lucina: I’ve lost so many people, I couldn’t... I had to... stop you.

Lucina: I have to know, though. What exactly were you thinking, rushing into battle with a wound like that?

Seliph: I wanted to prove myself.

Lucina: To whom? Me?

Seliph: Yes... and no. To everyone. To... myself, mostly.

Seliph: I’ll never be as strong as I ought to be. I’ll never be the legend people think I am. But I thought... maybe, if I could...

Lucina: I know how you feel.

Seliph: You do?

Lucina: When I traveled back in time, I took the name and appearance of Marth, the legendary Hero-King.

Lucina: I thought that, perhaps, if I took his name, I could maybe be as strong as him. Stronger than myself.

Seliph: It seems Kiran really knew what he/she was doing when he/she had us team up, doesn’t it?

Lucina: Indeed.

Lucina: Seliph, I’m glad I got to meet you in this world. Having someone who understands me...

Lucina: It feels as though a weight has been taken off my shoulders.

Seliph: I feel the same.

S Support

Seliph: Lucina, do you have a moment?

Lucina: Of course, Seliph. What is it? You look quite serious.

Seliph: You know how we talked about us being kindred spirits and... you said you felt attached?

Lucina: Yes...?

Seliph: I feel attached to you, as well, but I feel as though it may be a... stronger attachment.

Lucina: What do you mean?

Seliph: Lucina, I’ve fallen in love with you.

Lucina: ...Do you mean it?

Seliph: Yes, I do. And do you...?

Lucina: Yes, I love you, too, Seliph. We’re stronger together.

Seliph: Then... will you accept this?

Lucina: A ring? Seliph...!

Seliph: It’s not just any ring. This ring... this is my mother’s. She left it behind before she...

Lucina: You’re sure you want me to have it?

Seliph: I’m positive.

Lucina: Then I accept.

Seliph: Thank you... I think we can do anything together, Lucina.

Lucina: I agree, Seliph.

[bentchcreates]

Beyond Light and Darkness (Part 1)

This is going to be a two-part blog feature because I want to write about the book as a reviewer, as well as the experiences I had as one of the authors of this wonderful work. Also, fair warning that this is gonna be a long-ass post because I am on a roll. Haha.

Before BLaD

Let’s start from the very beginning, just a brief intro, for context. LOL.

Kath Bute (https://www.wattpad.com/user/kathbute) is actually a group of writers on Wattpad that bonded over the community forums a few years ago, and decided to collaborate and release an anthology of stories we wanted to read.

I was actually the last Kabute to join the first anthology, Beyond Fate and the Stars. I don’t know much about the group before I joined; except that they were working on an anthology based on the 12 Chinese Zodiac (with an assigned emotion) and they were short of one writer to do the Ox. I was very new to Wattpad then and basically just happened to be active in a forum for Filipino Writers, so they asked if I wanted to contribute. And I did. It was one of the first few times people actually asked me to write a new story.

After a few weeks I came up with Seek the Ox, Find Happiness (https://www.wattpad.com/183607408-beyond-fate-and-the-stars-self-published-seek-the) and in the summer of 2016 we had a book! My very first printed book! It wasn’t until MIBF that year that I got to meet my Kabute friends in person for the first time but it didn’t feel weird at all, kindred spirits and all that. (@AlaraChan & @lunatrix)(http://bentchcreates.tumblr.com/post/151133454706/bentch-at-the-37th-manila-international-book-fair )

As originally planned, printing BFatS was solely for us to have a physical book with our names and stories on it, a dry run. And while we might’ve discussed eventually making it available for selling, logistics and other business matters were tougher to figure out once the book is done. (We’re still trying to figure out if this is possible. Hehe.) But we wanted to do it again, and we wanted to do more this time, so we decided to take another shot at a second anthology, with selling the book as part of the plan from the very beginning.

The Stories

We tried our hand at a little bit of indie publishing. We had reviews that helped us with things to improve. We learned a lot from the first take and we had a clearer vision on what we wanted to become of this. The instructions this time was almost similar to the previous one: write whatever genre you want but there will be assigned prompts to follow and a sub theme of light or darkness. Even the interpretation of these themes was free for the author to make his/her own. 

I got “A broken wristwatch, peppermints and a hug that goes too far” and in the ‘light’ subtheme. I had finished an NA romance manuscript by then and I got off easy. Others who got perky prompts and then a ‘dark’ subtheme were a little more challenged! Hah!  

*Artwork by Trix Luna. My story prompts are here. ;)*

It was quite fun to write. And in the weeks that we were planning this second anthology, my inbox were constantly filled with book ideas; as well as funny messages (and abs!) from friends that were miles away from me. We talked about the book, and then about our personal writing projects, and cheered on each other when the writing gets tough. The friendships I’ve made with this book has got to be the best payoff in this journey.

Anyway, we also decided to open the proverbial doors for two more stories – two new bloods so to speak – so in June 2016, we called for short story submissions for the anthology. Four official entries were screened in anonymity (there were 5 stories, but we later found out @RK Sanchez should’ve already been part of Book 1 so she got in) and it was what I would say was the most challenging part of this. As an old Kabute (heh) and judge, I had a hard time choosing only two over four wonderfully written stories. In the end, I had to choose those who have showed the prompts more creatively and whose stories have captured our hearts. We welcomed @Nigel Libranages and @Raine RIllera into the fold. :P

With the stories and authors completed, we set out to editing, and because we didn’t have a professional editor, nor the funds to actually hire one, we did it ourselves. Around 14 pairs of eyes went through all the stories and different people who wrote different genres offered advice and suggestions for the improvement of our stories. It was team-effort every step of the way.

*My review copy with all the original members’ stories after I was done with my first run through. heehee.*

Development Hell

Development hell or development limbo is media industry jargon for a project that remains in development (often moving between different crews, scripts, or studios) without progressing to completion. 

– Wikipedia (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Development_hell)

We were 14 authors whose writing were more passion projects than actual dayjobs so when each of us got a little busy in the real world, the book got lightly shoved in the backburners. Some authors weren’t able to finish their works and to this day, we’re still waiting for them to release them (*wink wink, fellow kabutes!*) Most of us had a lot on our plates, I for one had to uproot and move back in to my parent’s house, and completing a book seemed like a huge task to strike off our To Do list.

I also had fears. Being a writer who could sell his books had been a big dream of mine and when felt like I was so close to grasping it, I feared it wouldn’t be as amazing as I hyped it up to be. I had to process it for a while, to learn more things about the industry, and ultimately, about myself, before I could fully commit to taking the plunge. And when I felt I was almost ready, I did it. I can only speak for myself but knowing I wasn’t doing this on my own, that I had friends with me, achieving our shared goals together, helped quell those fears. I’m still afraid, I have to say, but it’s more manageable now that I’ve got all these lovely people behind me, as I to them.

It took a few more weeks before we got our fire back (some slots had to be refilled with new stories, we had to hold a small face to face meeting to iron out everything) and when we got to see the artworks for the cover and the genre divisions, the excitement was renewed. I almost missed the cover reveal but when we all saw it, we knew that beauty had to be shared to the world.

*BLaD F2F meeting with Bebe Kabute Irina Jean and the secret agents again! heehee!*

*BLaD Cover reveal (art by @RK Sanchez) and this pre-order promo graphic is by @Johanna Lee

At this point, Summer Feels had been launched and I got to be part of the promo team on social media so what I learned from that I pitched in. In no time, we had a solid contract, a promo schedule, a pre-order form, a slot at #FilipinoBookFriday; and a launch date. @Lunatrix and @AlaraChan were sending us updates on what the book would look like, printing schedules and all. I was so excited I have picked clothes to wear on the launch weeks before. Haha!

*#FilipinoBookFriday promo graphic. Hosted by me and @Johanna Lee 

BLaD Book Launch

What we called the book launch was just going to be a small author get together, a meet-up to see each other, collect our books and have a small meal together. I thought about working on an invitation, a graphic I could print out and stick to my journal later, when I found out Trix already made a Programme (so HYPED, I’m telling you!) and we had activities to really set off our baby to a great start.

On November 30th 2017, we met at the CBTL in Trinoma where we rearranged tables on one side of the café as if we got a reservation (We didn’t. They don’t so reservations. Or maybe not for an event as small as ours. hah). We chose that venue because it was sort of a midpoint for where the authors were coming from; Baguio was the farthest point from the North and Laguna in the South (Okay, if we count Australia as the farthest point in the South, then we’re screwed because the midpoint is probably in the middle of an ocean. XD).

We started with a short Kath Bute intro and welcome remarks from Ate Kabute; and then all authors got to introduce ourselves (we introverts get all weird introducing ourselves to people we’ve been talking to for months online!). We got gifts and goodie bags from our artist Kabutes; I even got to do an unrehearsed live-reading of The Time Banker! And then we got to the Q and A part where we got to know more about everyone else.

We also got to sign a ton of the first batch of the print books. Seeing the book for the first time is just totally amazing (the cover is more beautiful in person) and seeing stacks of it together before they are eventually distributed is even better. I took a lot of pictures of the beautiful books and forgot to take pics of the people, haha!

It was such a fun experience, and knowing it had been possible because of this dream we all had, that we were now making into a reality, is priceless. I got to write, I got new friends and now I got a new book! There was hardwork, and I know the others worked harder than I did, but we can all say it is worth it.

What’s Next?

I don’t know how to end this blog. Haha. I rambled on and on about recent history and yada, yada, blah, blah, blah, but now I don’t know what my parting message will be. Classic Bentch! Haha!

I guess I’ll leave you with a link to order our book because now I know you’re itching to get your hands on it: http://bit.ly/BLADBatch2 (Batch 2 is set for printing in January, so delivery dates might be late January-early February)

We’re processing an e-book version for international release so watch out! (Naks, ako yung in-charge dito, so good luck to me. Wahaha) And we’ve discussed the initial phases for Book 3! No further announcements, thank you! Haha!

I think it’s also better to end with a thank you to everyone who has made this possible.

My fellow BLaD authors, thank you for sharing your talents – writing and editing AND artistic skills – especially to Mama and Ate Kabute who started all of this and pushed us to bring our collective best to the world. To my other author friends, who showed support by cheering on us and buying our books!

And to God, because this is your design. Thank you.

 *next part will be my review of BLaD as a reader. It will be biased because, you know, I wrote the preface (not-so-humble-brag!) and is currently in charge of promotions, but it’s a GREAT anthology, 500%!  

[jkbaws]

CHARACTER THESIS Q&A (JENNIE EDITION: LET ME)

to him: when i make promises, they’re never empty. i’d rather die than break one. you might not remember many of them, but one that’s upheld without the need to be mentioned constantly is my loyalty. i know that you know... that i know...! my decisive and firm choices in life, including the stupid and doubtful, have led me to you. i take it as a sign that regardless of what they initially were, i’ve made the right ones and i won’t take this for granted. i promise. you awakened something in me that i long ago believed was null, ignited pleasures in me that i can’t quiet down; pleasures of the mind, pleasures of the body, pleasures of the heart.

someone told me before that if they felt the same for me, that if we were to be, it would have happened already. so i told myself over and over that i’ll never ever again buy into this—as i saw it—crap. it’s because of this scar from the past that a part of me still probably resents that i had to wait, because i was expecting for someone to do it for me this time around. i think, one way or another, i’ll always be insecure that anyone i’ve truly felt for never had to struggle chasing for me. it’s my fault for making it easy, but it would have gone against my beliefs otherwise... i wouldn’t have wished it for another person, especially if they’re someone as important as you turned out to be. basically, if that person is you...

i would question myself before whether i should have taken up on other offers but to pair up with someone with the thought that i can learn in time, hope to fall later on, but it's too big a leap of faith i cannot take. i know everyone of us has our own unique thresholds for what we believe being "in love" means. we should abide by our personal thresholds and put faith in them. but i still wonder if for you falling and staying in love is without choice and reason, like the way i experience it.

this... is just one of the many things i keep pestering you about. i keep nudging you for answers over and over for probably the same questions that’s just worded differently, and i feel sorry because i have an insatiable appetite that requires a lot of patience. i hate to put all this pressure on you. it’s a conflicting feeling of wanting to selfishly keep you who’s been so accommodating and understanding between letting you run free without shouldering my uncertainties. but nothing is ever just black and white. just... this big but organized confusion (that we get to share, heh). and it's why it also amazes me how you see no wrong in me. how? it's common knowledge that we're our own worst critics. it might be that i see all these flaws in me that you don’t but... i still don't understand. even if you think there’s only a few, you... overlook all of them? is that a good thing? if it is, it seems too good to be true. is there really absolutely nothing about me that you dislike? if this is true, then does that mean you feel stronger than i do? i refuse to believe so, pfft. 

i think i'll always have this self-doubt within me, no matter how much pride and confidence i show on the outside. but all my worries and my inhibitions, it’s exactly how you said; you kiss them all away, persistently so. you breathe fresh air into the healing process, better than emotional freedom techniques would have. please don’t get tired... i’ll keep trying my best to... well, stay the way that i am, as per your request.

about names, possessions, and everything i have never admitted to anyone: a playground full of children with heroic names and not one of them had earned even a syllable. they grew up to be just as unworthy, feeling entitled from their historical ties and becoming arrogant. they paid lip-service only to the idea of service, and the highest honor being that of serving the community. there is something to be said for growing into a name. at birth, we should all be named after things of nature. flower, sky, river... something that shows what we are in our beginnings, where we come from, not a thing separate. when we show our metal, that we have grit and spirit to do right and bear greatness, then we should be given a name that symbolizes that. then maybe our names will mean something more than just the whim of our times, the fashion of an era, or the aspirations of our parents.

i've earned mine and shaped it to what meaning it holds now. i’m the girl you’ve always heard about; the girl you hear about even more now. it’s why i sing, watch your mouth when you speak my name. how many can say the same for themselves?

i've been driven mad from giving deep meaning, investing emotions and memories in my possessions. to me they have always been what represents my extended self, what provides my sense of past and what tells me who i am, where i've come from, and where i'm going. they are repositories of myself. you, you, and you; you’re all mine. i’m selfish. i can’t have it any other way. it’s hard to just let go. i'd hate for anyone to have dominion over me. why can’t i reciprocate? why can’t i not reciprocate? i’m fire and i need space to burn. fan the flames and let me.

a toast for me right now and for my little secret; the one that i can't let out but can't hardly hold in; the one i can't tell anyone, but want to tell everybody; the one that i'll carry forever, but its weight crushes me. reminders to self: if you don’t want people guessing, don’t give out hints. if you don’t want questions asked, don’t say a word.

to angels: is there really a council standing guard over the big guy in the sky? do you speak of harmony and love? peace and simple joys? ways to live without greed and misery? i don't care about the future. i'd rather find it out for myself, when the right time comes. tell me what i need to know...

questions to death: i don’t even want anything to do with you. it makes me curious when you’ll take me, because i want to know how much time i have. how much is there for me to work with. how long will it take for me to be able to win the legacy that i keep promising myself? i have these questions... but i don’t really want to hear the answer. not yet, at least. i’ll come back for them in a few more decades, in case the science people’s hunches or the prophecies way back from ancient times don’t come true.

to her: with anyone else, i am a lioness. with you, i'm a rabbit. or maybe a chinchilla. anything tiny; anything you can hold within your palms. one look from you and the fight leaves my body. you see me for who i am inside, quell the inferno, transform it to passion for life, career, and even nature. with you my soul is at rest. with you it's content. i love you like a brother, respect you like no other; our spirits kindred. i could no more abandon you than my own child... in the future! it's like you tell my panic to shut up. i don't know how you do it, and i don't need to. knowing that you can, and so effortlessly, is enough.

you aren't simply a good friend. you have become part of my soul. when life became a storm, you were the boat that kept the briny water from entering my lungs. you were love when i needed it and i thank you with all that i am. the storm isn't over. it never will be; the winds rage, seek to crush what they can never be. i have to know my own strength, test it, find truth and liberty, to realize that there is no prison that can hold me. only then will i know that i am doing what i choose to do, that my own love is a choice and that it is a gift to give. at times, i'd have to walk alone and you have to let me but a part of my light stays with you, as part of yours leaves with me, for we are kindred as i told you, twin souls. i will return, and sooner than you might think, with new strength to my legs, to my bones, strong enough to carry you. heaven and prison can't be the same thing, and we'll keep on looking, together.

questions to the body: we're in abundance. not in a typical sort of way. i'm in the shape that i'm confident in. i treat you well. not just you, but also your other half. you may not be able to support me the way the world prefers you did but i take an exception to you. you serve me well, and i've listened to you and adhered to what works best for you. i've been given an intimate awareness that i've never really felt before and because of that i'm happy. i have a wonderful relationship with myself that i can spend a lifetime cultivating. 

but things aren't always perfect. especially for me, they never are. everybody has those inner critics that really inhibit them and act as an obstacle to fulfillment and happiness. i sometimes seek shelter outside my own body. what stranger has my soul become? 

to the heart: i realize now, it’s love that makes you so strong.

tagged by @babehk @pullstrings tagging @1konic @dalchu @baskuiat @jaeneral (for ur other verses) @consilian (hallo welcome back i can tag u into things again hehehe) @kinqisms @ishyks @leeyjin @inhyelation @vonliber

[lovemesomesurveys]

A Art: When was the last time you painted something? It’s been a long time since I’ve painted something. Adventure: When was the last time you really felt alive, and what were you doing? Wow... I don’t know. It’s been a very long time since I’ve felt that. Allergies: What is one thing that you are allergic to? Tangerines. How random. Answers: What is one question you would like an answer to? Why am I like this? Age: What has been your favorite age so far? Childhood ages. Take me backkk.

B What month is your birthday? July. Have you ever played house inside a big box? I don’t think so. Are you boisterous? No, I’m the opposite. Have you ever dated a bad boy? No. Name one thing you like that is blue: The ocean. Not being in it, but being near it at the beach. C Cinnamon--yay or nay? Yay. 

Chocolate: do you love it? I’m not a chocoholic, but I like it. Name one favorite type of candy. White chocolate. Children: Name one favorite thing to do with kids while babysitting. I haven’t babysat since my younger brother and a couple of my cousins were little, which was a little over a decade ago now. I remember playing like hide and seek and house with them and just watching cartoons or a movie. Carefree: Are you carefree? Um, most definitely not. D When was the last time you danced like no one was watching? *shrug* Do you daydream? Yes. Dreams: What is one of your dreams? I just want to get better. What is one thing you are currently dreading? My next doctor appointment. Name something delicious. Milkshakes. E Would you ride an elephant if given the opportunity? No. I’d be way too scared. Do you live life on the edge? No. Name something you like to eat: Ramen. Do you believe in everlasting life? I do. Name something that comes easy to you. These days crying seems to. F Name a fragrance you like. Ones with patchouli in it. Are you a free spirit? No. Are you fickle? No. Are you hiding your feelings from someone? No. Name one flavor you like. Strawberry. G Are you gentle? I would say that over being rough. Are you generous? I feel like I’m too wrapped up in myself and my own shit and not doing much for others. Name something green. Guacamole. Name a famous giant. My mom was watching something recently about a wrestler named Andre the Giant. He really was. Are you a girl? I am. H Are you generally a happy person? No.  Do you honor the holiness of the day? I attend church on Sundays. Do you believe in Heaven? I do. Name one thing you are hoping for. Beach trips soon. Name one thing you hate. My current situation. I Imagination: Write the name of one of your imaginary friends from when you. were younger. I didn’t have one. Issues: Name one magazine you subscribe to, if there is any. None. Internet: Name one website you visit often. Tumblr. Itinerary: List one place you would like to visit. Hawaii. Interest: Name one thing that interests you. Psychology. J Are you joyful? I’m a sad, sleepy, sensitive soul. When was the last time you were filled with joy? I was happy for my brother when he graduated UC recently. Can you jump high? I can’t jump at all. Name one girl's name that starts with a J that you like. Jessica. Name one boy's name that starts with a J that you like. Joseph. K Have you ever been kissed? Yes. Have you ever feared that you would be killed? Not an active fear, but I mean that is something scary to say the least. Are you kind? This survey is making me feel shitty, ha. It’s like are you generous and kind and joyful and I’m like uhhh. Like, I’m not an evil or mean person, but I don’t know when I think of generous and kind people I don’t feel I’m quite up to par. 

Who is your kindred spirit? *shrug*

Name one thing you liked as a kid. I was obsessed with playing with Barbies. L Do you love someone? My family. Do you live out loud? What does that mean? Do you read food labels? Yeah, sometimes. Sometimes I check the protein amount in something or to see if there’s something spicy in the ingredients. Other times it’s just out of curiosity. Name something local that you like. One of the pizza places I go to. List one thing you like to do at the lake. I don’t go to the lake. M Do you like... monkeys music musicals mansions miracles N Do you want something.... new nice neat never-before-seen nature-inspired O How old are you? 31. What is the last great opportunity you missed? I don’t know. Name one thing you like that's orange (besides oranges). I don’t even like oranges. I’m looking at a bag of nacho cheese Doritos, which to me look orange so let’s go with that. Are you open? In surveys I definitely am. Name something odd. Me. P Are you... patient perky pale <<< Funny story, my uncle put me on blast about that at my brother’s grad party the other day lol. He was like, “It’s good to see you out and about” and I was like, “yeah, it’s been like over a year” and he’s like, “Yeah... I can tell. You’re looking just a little pale there” and I go, “Yeah, just a little, heh...” and he says, “Well, more like a lot” and laughs. lol well damn. I need several beach trips this summer. peaceful passionate Q Do you own a... quilt quail queen-size bed quill pen book of questions R Do you like to... run rave riddle rhyme rap S Are you ever... shy sensitive secretive sure stable T Are you... ticklish trouble tall thankful tactful U Have you ever... ridden a unicyle used an umbrella visited an uncle been undecided played a ukelele V Do you own a... violin vehicle violet dress vampire cape veil for a wedding dress W What is something you wish for? Better health. Wonder: When was the last time you opened your eyes in wonder? Uhhh. Name five words you like. Nah. What is something you wonder? Will I ever do something with my life or is this it for me? Name someone who thinks you are worthless. Myself. X Have you ever... played a xylophone had an x-ray enjoyed exercise had excision surgery been excluded Y Are you young? I guess 31 is still young. I feel old. Are you youthful? You could say that. Did you have a big yard growing up? No. What did you do yesterday? Slept, mostly. Do you like yams? I don’t think I’ve ever had yams, but I have no desire to try them. Z Zeal: What are you passionate about? I haven’t felt passionate in a long time. Zing: Do you like raspberry lemonade? I don’t think I’ve ever had it. What's your favorite zoo animal? Giraffes. Do you own anything from Zales? No. List a name that starts with a Z. Zack.