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arc-angel-o · 1 year ago

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Thanks @frodothefair this made me motivated to write more 💕

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

22, so they can't all be winners

2. What's your total Ao3 word count?

8,365, because I mainly write drabble and ficlet

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Most actively to least actively, of what I've published, Rabbit, Neo Yokio, Goats, Onyx Equinox, Starved, Hetalia, Beck Mongolian Chop Squad, My Girlfriend is an Alien, Ingredients

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Most to least: Pink Christmas Continued, The Oldest Surviving Wooden Building, Matt 6:20, I really wanna fly with you [Infinite Hiatus], Am I really that obvious?

I'm happy with Pink Christmas Continued, but other fics deserve to be on this list more than the others.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, I probably haven't answered all of them since I'm very awkward and don't always know what to say, but I try to reply each time as soon as possible. I started on Wattpad, where repeat commenters became friends, so I really value fanfiction as a way to creat community and meet more people.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Either wickedness at midnight or Instant Karma

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Pink Christmas Continued, maybe. Keep in mind for both these questions I don't remember how half my fics ended.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not yet.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Nothing published yet, I do have some in the drafts. Mainly ace4ace, since I'm asexual, it's easier for me to write if everyone involved is also. Because of this, I've been writing some for canon asexual Rabbit lately, hopefully I can get it out there soon.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Not often, and usually nothing crazy, but I had an Hannibal × Neo Yokio kinda out there.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I hope not.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but that'd be so cool, I hope one day.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but that might be fun, maybe with @atlasisntdead since I already send them my first drafts all the time.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

I always come back to kazangelo.

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Horror Movie Date Horror and Peppermint Lattes. Both about Matoko uniting Arcangelo and Lexy's friend groups, both I became exhausted from despite how short and fun the premises are.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I've been told that my drabbles and such are able to pack a punch in such a short word count. I think I'm able to capture characters voices pretty well, and at least won't publish anything that I'd tag as out of character.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Writing anything above a thousand words. I haven't gotten the hang of fight scenes. I can't force myself to write, I'm very slow at it. I'm not always sure my character interactions are realistic, because I don't interact with many. I'm not confident in my writing.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I've done a little bit of that, and I'd like to do more once I'm fluent in something. Would consider learning Tolkien conlangs for a fic in Middle Earth.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I can't quite remember, but I think it might have been for Percy Jackson.

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

Tends to be whatever i most recently published, since i think i do improve everytime, so check out wickedness at midnight

20 Questions for Fic Writers

thank you for tagging me @ahsokathegray !!<3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

25!

2. What's your total A03 word count?

231k lmaoooo when did that happen I feel like I've been in a fugue state since February

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Star Wars (and technically, TECHNICALLY The Matrix but it's a Star Wars AU fusion lmao)

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Porg Eyes, Princess For A Year, Ram'ser'ika, Better Than Nothing, The Contingency

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes every single one omfg I love everyone

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Well, Soft Dark Nothing is Ahsoka and Rex on the moon right after The Tribunal crashed so by default it's gotta be her (rip Jesse my beloved)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Not Bad ends up with Snips n Skyguy going to Biscuit Baron lmao

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not yet but I live in fear every day especially since I'm dipping my toe in the Republic Commandos pond and I know the girlies are passionate

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do and it's ridiculously graphic HAHAHA no but there's a reason I haven't posted any Rexsoka smut. Makin y'all wait for it until they COMMIT, gotta keep that tension in there somewhere uwu. But wlw, mlw, mlm, aliens and cyborgs gonna work their way in there eventually (?) I have Not Out Loud, which is an mlm fic with Boba tying up Cal and facefucking him (Kesett nation rise)

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Go Ask Ahsoka is the Matrix crossover that I wrote for AU August which I will eventually update lmfao

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No but I would cry

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not like… technically but Erika is my beta and my bestie and she comes up with amazing ideas and lets me play with her OCs so honestly she counts (ilu)

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Rexsoka 💙🧡, closely followed by Anidala (burning down the galaxy for a single person is objectively WRONG but also hot)

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Well Do Not Go Gentle is a huge fucking project that I HOPE I finish one day

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm pretty good at action. I enjoy it which helps lmao

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I get really ahead of myself laying out hints and red herrings which I then forget about (Princess For A Year especially is the worst about this, I am so sorry for all of those hints about Sylen being a pretend Mandalorian I fucked up so bad with that one but I'm going to rewrite it eventually to bring back a bunch of my dropped subplots)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I enjoy it and do so regularly. Mando'a nuhur'shya ni ru'kar'tayli. And it makes my brain work in unexpected ways, it's like a puzzle trying to figure out the wacky ass baby's-first-conlang grammar that is Karen's creation (what the fuck kind of language doesn't have a passive voice)

19. First fandom you wrote for?

OKAY OKAY TECHNICALLY, TECHNICALLY????? It was the Lion King. I was in first grade and we had to write a little storybook and illustrate the pages they gave us with crayons and my story was How Simba Lost His Mane lmfaoooo

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

I have poured my whole heart, soul, brain, and pussy into Tivaevae pls read it it's longer than The Hobbit

no pressure tags: @soliloquy-of-nemo, @tangledlichen, @ink-in-books, @hannah-schooler

#wip: wickedness at midnight #wip: horror movie date horror #wip: peppermint lattes #my fanfiction #my ao3

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yerbamansa · 2 years ago

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Got tagged by @epersonae! Thanks! So I will tag other writer mutuals if you wanna have a go and/or didn't already get tagged (i keep losing track of tumblr scroll tbh): @thetragicallynerdy @alfalfairy @whose-modern-au-is-this @dragonmuse @sassygwaine @keriocabinet

Do you write in order? Generally, yes. Every once in awhile I'll have a scene or a little piece of something that gets written as it comes to mind, but it's often outline->write. The outlining/brainstorming process (as much as it is a process) is where the order happens.

This is notably not the case with Ask Me Anything, though, which is a collab and timey-wimey to boot, so lots of stuff needed to get figured out of order. We still haven't finished writing the chapter we're in the middle of posting, but the next one is finished and the rest are kinda 50/50 or 60/40.

How fully formed does your writing come out the first try? Gonna say a good 85-95%?? Depends on the story and whether I'm getting other eyes on it before posting. Most of Revenge Ranch got written and posted with a cursory read-through for glaring errors. Kitchen Mistakes & How To Avoid Them, though, tends to have its word count/phrasing fluctuate like 10-15% every chapter thanks to a delightfully nitpicky beta reader.

How many drafts do you go through? I don't really draft, per se? I spit it out, I review it, I get feedback (sometimes), I make changes, annnnd I'm done. Well, I guess that's technically drafting phases, but it tends to be less thorough than what I'm picturing.

Tell me about your process. I get an idea. It takes hold of my entire goddamn brain. I am compelled to start writing it down in some loose structure, usually bulleted lists, just to get it out of my brain. Sometimes the idea keeps growing, almost self-propelled (All That I Need Is You And The Sea). Sometimes it incubates a bit before it comes together, and needs to keep being formed and re-formed as it goes (Kitchen Mistakes), but the idea is still kind of in charge, if that makes sense.

Other times, I really need to work at it, like, I know I want to do something with X character, but I need to do some background research, think about what my goals are for the thing, make notes on the POV character, etc. I put a lot of time into breaking down Revenge Ranch Roach for his POV story last fall, and that was kind of like pulling teeth, though I'm happy with the result. I think this version of the process might end up with more of "me" in it. Maybe because I have to work at connecting to it.

While I'm actually writing, I typically try to keep some VERY simple/high-level notes handy--like the key plot points/character notes to hit--but abandon the rest. Exception: if the background research includes some specific entity (object, video, song, etc.) I need to describe/reference in the story itself. Even if I don't feel like I'm in a 'flow' state or whatever, often I'll just sit there and try to start pecking out some dialog or description of wherever I'm at, and it starts to move along, or doesn't.

Sometimes I have to flit through a lot of background noise to find the right vibe for my brain at a given moment. The nicest, though, is finding one of those "8hr ambient aesthetic vibes" videos on YouTube that is kinda close to the setting I'm writing. There's a road trip Revenge Ranch story that I wrote while watching someone's dashcam video of a drive through New Mexico. I watched a TON of thunderstorm videos for a couple other entries. A chapter of Kitchen Mistakes that took place in Stede's study was helped along by one of those "evening fireplace and rain sounds" ambient videos. Fuckin' love those videos. It hits a sweet spot of noise (without lyrics or too much rhythm) and background imagery like watching TV, but without all the distraction.

In terms of technical settings: I like writing in LibreOffice when I can, but if I'm collaborating at all, it has to be GDocs. And I am a heavy user of headings/outlines in that case. I have a half-assed AO3 post template in LibreOffice with places for notes etc. to copy and paste in order. I've been known to make a spreadsheet when shit gets very complicated. My brain loves little boxes. I don't write on my phone except maybe some notes to self in Signal for ideas that come up when I'm not at my laptop. Love a physical keyboard and multiple windows, mmm, room to spread out and see lots of shit at once.

#my stuff #am writing #tag meme #good lord this is long #scroll scroll scroll #archem finish writing chapter 8 challenge

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jonahlovescoffee · 4 years ago

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Multitasking | J.M.

a/n: kinda cringe? idk but i don’t wanna let it stay in my drafts either so yeah lol happy reading <3

summary: you wanted jonah’s attention and he’ll give it to you, even though he’s on a phone call.

warnings: smut without coitus bc i’m lazy to write that part-

word count: 3040

“Jonah, your lovely girlfriend is here,” you chirped happily when you entered his house a spring in your step, excited to finally be able to spend some alone time with him, something you hadn’t done lately because of him being busy with all the necessary preparations for the new album’s release while your schoolwork had been taking up too much of your time. However, your face fell immediately when you were greeted with the sight of him on his phone, chatting away with someone. It was supposed to be just the two of you today making full use of the rarely empty house. His face lit up when he saw you, but he made no move to end the call. You nudged your head towards his phone with your arms crossed in front of your chest, urging him to end it or else you’ll choose to end him instead.

“Just one more second, I promise,” he told you, pulling you down to give you a quick kiss in a weak attempt to wipe the evident scowl off your face. “It’s important.”

You rolled your eyes and plopped down on the empty seat next to him. “Fine, but make it quick,” you prompted, taking your phone out to hopefully find some ways to entertain yourself for the time being. He wrapped an arm around you in a silent apology, which you responded with laying your head on his shoulder as he continue talking.

“Yeah, y/n just came over,” he said and you heard a vaguely familiar voice speaking from the other side of the phone, but the sound was too muffled for you to decipher it into coherent words. “Daniel, we can talk about your music ideas another day.”

You internally groaned when you heard the name of your friend’s boyfriend and the mention of music ideas because you knew Daniel long enough to know that it always took ages for him to finish rambling about all his new musical creations. You usually wouldn’t complain about that because you were a huge music buff yourself and having the chance to discuss music with someone as enthusiastic as him was a gift from god but he should know that now wasn't the right time to do so.

Another reply came from the other end of the phone. Jonah seemed to hesitate for a while before offering an answer this time, glancing sideways at you to make sure that you weren’t about to explode with anger. You sighed but sent him a soft smile and he mouthed a silent “you’re the best” in return. “Okay, okay, let’s hear it then,” his hand found yours and gave it a light squeeze.

You scrolled through your chat log to find Emily’s contact, before sending her a message to ask for help. Is there any way you can shut your boyfriend up? Because he is stealing mine from me.

A reply came mere seconds later. LOL I’ll see what I can do.

Just when you were about to thank her, your phone vibrated and another message from her appeared on the screen. Fuck. The studio door is locked and I forgot where he keeps the keys.

You swore the next time you saw Daniel, you were going to hurl all six feet of him into the pool and make him drown. Wow, I can’t believe my luck today.

Don’t be such a whiner. You can try to make Jonah pay attention to you instead ;) She suggested and an idea popped into your head right away.

Have I ever told you how much I love you?

Ahh I love you more bb <3 was the last reply from her before she went offline, the green dot beside her profile picture disappearing.

You put your phone back into your bag and turned towards your boyfriend to find him still deeply engrossed in his conversation. You shrugged his arm off you and moved your body to assume the position on top of one of his thick muscular thighs, facing him. He raised an inquisitive brow. You wrapped your arms around his middle and nuzzled into his neck, inhaling the alluring scent of him that did nothing but fed your lust.

“I want you so bad,” you whined softly, earning a stroke of your hair from him, his hand subsequently sliding downwards to rest at the small of your back, his touch leaving a trail of goosebumps down your spine.Your hands did their own exploring too, your fingers tracing the curves and edges of his shoulder blades down to his biceps, humming in satisfaction at all the new muscle you found beneath your fingertips. He hadn’t been joking when he told you that he had been working out a whole lot more lately. The more of him that you felt, the more uncomfortable your southern region became.

Jonah felt it all—the heartbeat between your thighs, the wetness that seemed to be soaking through your pants, the subtle grinding of your body against his thigh, and how the member in his pants seemed to awaken at your movements. Suddenly Daniel’s words through the phone didn’t seem to make sense when they entered his brain that was currently a complete mess. He put his phone away for a moment to whisper into your ear, “Look at you, can’t even go a few minutes without wanting something, huh, baby?” His voice was husky and deep, exactly the way you loved it, and you almost came from the sound alone. He used his hand to help you rock harder against his thigh, urging you to speed up which you did willingly, finally able to relieve some of the pain from your core.

Your whimper was enough to answer his question. He kissed the tip of your nose. “Ride my thigh, sweetheart,” he ordered, brushing a thumb over your lips. “But be a good girl for me and be as quiet as you can, okay?”

You nodded obediently and he returned to his phone call like nothing ever happened. You bit your bottom lip forcefully in order to prevent moans after moans from escaping as you, the friction between your clit and his thigh putting your mind in a blissful daze. “Fuck…” you breathed near his ear, the sound taking him by surprise making him stop talking mid-sentence, hazel eyes glancing to the side to see your half-lidded eyes and lip that was colored in a shade of bright red from sinking your teeth into it too hard, completely forgetting what he was planning to say to his friend.

“Jonah?” Daniel’s voice sounded, snapping Jonah back to his senses.

“Yes? wait a moment bro, got something to settle first, be right back,” he said, placing his phone on the armrest of the couch to focus on you. “Feels good baby?”

“Uh huh,” you said, not expecting him to bounce his knee in a steady rhythm afterwards with so much vigor that you instinctively moved your hands to his shoulders to steady yourself, rolling your hips as you ground yourself down on him hungrily. Feeling your greedy little hole clamping down around nothing as you felt your climax nearing.

“What about now?” he drawled, chuckling darkly when you started to let all sorts of whimpers and mewls fall from your lips. “Tell me, pretty little slut, how good I’m making you feel,” he lifted a hand up to your face to trace your jaw tenderly. Once. Then twice. Then replacing his touch with his lips.

“So fucking amazing, Jo,” you could barely get the words out as you unabashedly ground yourself down against him, eyes rolling to the back of your head at the overwhelming sensation, gasping in surprise when his palm moved to spank your ass. The movement made you grind against his firm thigh perfectly as you forgot his earlier warning to stay quiet and cried out.

“Shh, keep it down, baby,” he coaxed, his lips curving into a smirk as he beheld your desperation to chase your high, each of your movements getting sloppier than the last. “He can still hear you, you know?”

Another whimper. “I...I’m close, Jo,” you managed to say before grabbing fistfuls of his shirt and burying your face in the crook of his neck, though the movement of your hips remained unfaltered.

He tilted his head a little to press a kiss into your hair. “Cum for me all over my thigh, sweetheart.”

Jonah’s husky voice was the catalyst you needed to send you hurtling over the edge, feeling that coil inside you snap as your orgasm washed over you, his name spilling from your lips in a loud cry, your toes curling as you were completely engulfed in ecstasy. His grasp on your waist remained strong as he continued bouncing his knee, slightly slower than before, not allowing you to move back as he kept grinding your cunt against him, letting you ride out your high. “Shh, you’re getting too loud, baby,” he placed a finger on your lips when you continued moaning his name repeatedly as your puffy clit got overstimulated, although he absolutely loved the way his name rolled off your tongue like a prayer. He felt a certain something straining harder against his designer jeans, yearning to break free.

“Look at what a mess you made because you couldn’t wait for me to finish my phone call,” he tisked disapprovingly, his gaze dropping to his thigh, his hooded hazel eyes looking between your bodies at the darkened wet stain you had left against said jeans with glee, even more when he saw your pants that were utterly soaked with your release. He stopped bouncing his knee then, earning a dissatisfied whine from you. “Enough of thigh riding, sweetheart, your pants are ruined,” he grabbed his phone and released his grasps on you before whispering, “Now turn around. Let me help you get them off you.”

You did as he told, your back now leaning against his chest as he pushed your pants down, followed by your panties and you kicked off both of the garments when they pooled at your knees. He raised his phone towards his ear as his other hand glided over the swell of your hips to your front, his knuckles brushing over your core gently. He started drawing slow circles over your clit with the pads of his fingers, causing you to arch your back into him more.

“Nah, it’s nothing serious. Wes just broke another glass again, that’s all,” he lied to his best friend, the pace of his fingers increasing as he put more pressure on your clit, making you a squirming mess in his arm. Unable to keep you steady with only one arm around you, he put his phone on speaker mode and placed it back onto the armrest before sliding the now free arm around your waist.

“You sure? Because I heard...umm...something and it sounds nothing like shattering glass,” Daniel stated, but Jonah remained pretty unfazed unlike you whose breath caught in your throat immediately, dreading the possibility of getting caught. However, all your worries were immediately forgotten when he dragged a finger ever so gently up your glistening folds that were already slick with your juices. You instinctively rolled your hips against his finger, yearning for as much friction as he could offer.

“Then you must’ve heard wrong. Now, where were we?” Jonah said nonchalantly before sliding a finger into you and your jaw fell slack as you moaned at the sudden intrusion. He pumped his finger slowly to stretch you out but you weren’t content with it. You wanted more so you let your hand travel to your bundle of nerves but before you could do anything, he grabbed your wrist with his free hand. Words didn’t need to be conveyed between the both of you for you to get his message just from the look he gave you that clearly said he didn’t want you to interfere.

“Okay, so I thought of this melody…” you tuned them out, solely focusing on the overwhelming pleasure that he gave you with nothing more than a finger and before you knew it, you could feel your walls clenching harder around it that continued to thrust in and out of you non-stop as he maintained a casual conversation with his best friend.

“Nngh, Jonah,” you whined, “Faster, faster, gosh.”

“Quiet,” he whispered sternly between his sentences just as he slipped another finger into you and you bit his neck on instinct to stifle your moans, making him groan right in the middle of their conversation.

“What the actual fuck was that?!” Daniel exclaimed in horror.

“Nothing,” he shot you a glare but your eyes were screwed shut with pleasure so you couldn’t see it. “But I really really have to go now, bro, I’m so sorry.”

“Wait a minute,” Daniel said just as Jonah’s finger hovered inches above the red end-call button. “Is y/n there with you? Like right next to you?”

“Yeah, so?”

“Please don’t tell me you guys were...umm...doing it while you were talking to me because the weird sounds kinda sound like,” an obvious gulp. “Her.”

“Daniel what is wrong with you today? First you hear weird noises then now you’re trying to accuse me and my girl for having sex while I’m on the phone with you? Well lemme tell you something, Daniel,” Jonah’s fingers thrusted into you quicker, matching the swift pace of his thumb that was furiously rubbing your clit, making you a writhing mess on his lap. Soft moans left your lips since you were unable to compress all of the sounds that threatened to escape.

“Y/N and I would never,” He slammed his fingers knuckles deep into you. “Ever,” His fingers curled inside you and you sucked in a shaky breath. “Do something like that,” He started doing patting motions, hitting all the right places, almost making you scream as your eyes rolled to the back of your head in ecstasy, unable to focus on anything else save for the overwhelming pleasure that he gave you. “Right, love?”

He has to be joking. He can’t seriously expect you to—

“Open your mouth and talk, baby,” Jonah’s voice was soft but authoritative when he spoke into your ear, a smirk present on his face. He knew that it was nearly impossible for you to do anything, especially talking, when you were so close to your climax but all in all, he was still someone who loved testing and pushing you past your limits.

“Yes...I...we,” you stuttered as you whimpered softly after each word, his fingers never stopped working their magic inside you. He placed kisses all the way up to your ear from your shoulders before starting to nibble your earlobe. You couldn’t search for the right words to say, let alone speak without giving away the fact that you and Jonah were indeed doing it while having his conversation with Daniel. “We are not doing anything,” you got all your words out in one breath, a little too fast for them to sound extremely convincing but still good enough for Jonah to give you an approving hum.

“Good girl,” Jonah cooed, his voice alone making your entire body tingle with pleasure. “Now end the call,” he attached his lips onto the sensitive spot under your ear, nibbling and sucking it softly, pushing another moan out of you.

“But—”

“No ‘but’s, baby,” a kiss on your shoulder again. “You don’t want me to not let you cum, do you?”

You couldn’t find the energy in you to argue with him, not when release was threatening to spill out of you.

“Bye, Daniel,” you said breathlessly.

“Just so you know, I still don’t believe that—”

“I said bye, Daniel,” you cut Daniel off before he could continue rambling about not trusting your words, reaching over to Jonah’s phone to end the call.

Jonah smiled when the screen of his phone turned black but his following words were nowhere near happy.

“Such a good girl, aren’t you? Always so obedient when you want me to give you what you want,” he snarled. “But what about just now, hmm? You were so loud, so impatient, always wanting more than what I gave.”

“So do you think you deserve to cum, dear?”

“Sorry, it just felt too good,” you whimpered, already on the verge of tears, when you felt the knot in your stomach tightening. “I won’t behave like this again, Jo so please—“

He pressed his lips onto yours, cutting your pleas off with a brief kiss. “Alright, I’ll let you off the hook just this once. Let it all out now, baby.”

And just like that, you released for the second time all over his thigh and he took his fingers out of you and licked them clean, groaning at how wonderful you tasted. “Fuck, you taste so good. It's totally worth ruining my jeans for this.”

“But I wanna taste yours too,” you whined and he smirked.

“Hmm,” he laid you down on the couch and crawled over you, a hand already at the zipper of his pants to pull it down. “Think you’re still able to take my dick?”

“Always,” you yanked him closer by the front of his shirt, wanting to bring his lips to yours but before your lips even touched, a series of meows sounded suddenly.

Both of you turned towards the source of the sound simultaneously to find Wes standing at the corner of the living room, staring at you both intently with his wide, curious cat eyes.

“You know what? Maybe we should do this elsewhere,” you gave a suggestion with an uncomfortable grimace.

He zipped his pants before moving back into a sitting position, which you mirrored. He patted his lap and you went to sit on it right away. “Or,” a teasing grin was plastered on his face as he wiggled his eyebrows playfully at you. “We could ask Wes to join in too.”

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT YOU PSYCHOTIC PERVERT!” you screamed in disgust and hit him with the couch pillow you grabbed from beside you.

taglist: @chilling-seavey @neralondon @mia-marais @randomlimelightxxx @hopinglimelight @kvd963 @cutiebandlover202 @savspersonalproperty @slowdownatthelotusinn @angelzacharyy @freakshows199 @my-fangirling-outlet

#wdw #why dont we #corbyn besson #daniel seavey #jack avery #jonah marais #why don’t we #zach herron #wdw imagines #jonah marais imagines #jonah marais x reader #jonah marais smut

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procrastinatorproject · 4 years ago

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Fic writer review, thank you to @thelaithlyworm for the tag <3

how many works do you have on AO3?

Ten? Oh no, it’s actualy 12 now!

what’s your total AO3 word count?

86,468

how many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Grand total of 1: Star Trek: Picard - although my latest offering might branch a bit into other Trek as well.

what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

“Passengers”

“And a Barrel of Gagh”

“CMO’s Log”

“Preparations”

“Game Night”

Which is actually kinda interesting. I wrote Passengers, Preparations, and Game Night while the fandom was still a lot more active (especially in the Aramis in Space corner), so that makes sense. The CMO’s log has had chapters added every few months, giving it probably the most exposure of any of my fics. Barrel of Gagh, though? I think I’m gonna attribute that to Thimblerig turning it into a truly, TRULY brilliant piece of podfic. Also the fact that it’s whump involving a character played by Santiago Cabrera. ‘tis A Thing..... :D

do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I really try to! I love talking with people in the comments and just... thanking the people who found the time and energy to leave comments. But especially in the last few months I have gotten very bad at keeping up with the comments and now there’s about two dozen that I have neglected to reply to for a painfully long time 🙈

But I will get there! Because I love that kind of interaction!

what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

So far, none of them have had angsty endings. Angsty middles, yes, but not endings. I’m just a sucker for everyone being happy in the end. Or at least on the way to being better, and supported and cared for on that way.

do you write crossovers? if so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I haven’t yet, but I’m definitely not opposed. One of the threads of my 200k unpublishable whump scenes takes place in a continuity that has existed in my daydreams for... I wanna say six years at the very least, probably longer. It’s mostly straight-up Star Trek, but with the twist that it involves the Wraith, the telepathic, hive-minded alien race from Stargate: Atlantis that suck the life force out of you with their hands? Or, well, at least a variation thereof.

I once typed up the world building for that particular setting and it took me three hours to try and make it all make sense. So it’s... involved. But not necessarily “crazy”. And I’m not sure I’m ever actually going to publish any of the stories I have set in it (not least because that would envolve finishing any of them and bringing them into a form that is interesting to read for anyone but me...)

have you ever received hate on a fic?

Nope.

do you write smut? if so what kind?

Hm, not yet. I do enjoy reading smut, but only under very specific circumstances. I think I may eventually try my hand at smut, but the inner prude is still very strong. Writing about Rios and Xyr making out (which, honestly, was really tame, all things considered) made me melt in a puddle of blushing embarrassment, so full-on smut is probably beyond me at the moment. One day!

have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. Though litigating that in a fandom like ours would be... tricky. ST:Pic is way too small to steal stories outright. But similar or the same ideas pop up all the time. And it’s a complete coincidence. Reading the book that recently came out and that has a kinda similar setting to a lot of my stories (pre-season 1, early in Rios’s history as captain of Sirena, dealing with original characters, holo shenanigans, friendship with Raffi, etc.), I was struck by just how many elements, both scenes or story beats and little details, were similar to things that have cropped up in my writing. And it is entirely coincidental, because I am beyond certain that the author doesn’t read fanfic. Just... for legal reasons. Not to mention I wrote a bunch of the things I saw parallels to while the book was already in production, and some of them are only in my drafts.

So there is a ton of convergent evolution going on in this particular section of the fandom, and trying to litigate who came up with certain plot ideas or character beats when would be a sysiphean disaster. Some things are clear and whenever I use any of them I give credit where I can, but people will have very similar ideas. It just happens. So no, I haven’t had either a full-on story or “an idea” stolen, and I might change my tune if it ever does happen, but so far, I’m trying to practice equanimity, so I’ll be better at it should I ever need it.

have you ever had a fic translated?

Sadly no. My dad keeps complaining that all my fic is in English so he can’t read any of it, but honestly? I’m kinda glad for this very convenient excuse. Maybe if I ever feel like I want to practice my interpreting skills, I will give translating the stories into German a shot. We’ll see. Otherwise, if anyone feels inspired: Have at it! Just let me know, okay?

have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not quite. I have a draft of off-the-cuff worldbuilding that I wrote on Discord with @curator-on-ao3 and that I would love to turn into an actual short fic (letters from a conference on holo-ethics), but I haven’t gotten around to it yet.

what’s your all time favorite ship?

I don’t really do shipping.

what’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I WILL NEVER ACCEPT DEFEAT!!!! One day, I will write the next installment of Star Trek: La Sirena! I have so many ideas for that continuity and those characters. I’m not going to abandon them!

what are your writing strengths?

Hmmmmm. Probably detailed worldbuilding? Ask me something about, say, a technological or cultural aspect of Star Trek and chances are, I have thought about it in the past or will come up with three different sets of intricate lore within half an hour. (Things like... the architecture of San Francisco, or Will there still be taxi drivers? or the treaty between IKEA Intergalactic and the Borg Collective, or the Universal Translator, or Emergency Services or Why There Are Very Few Ambulances On Earth Anymore etceterah etceterah...)

I’m also good at slapping together off-the-cuff plot ideas (if, say, you need an explanation for how Seven and Agnes ended up stranded on a desert island, I could probably give you three different scenarios pretty quickly. Just don’t ask me to make them poignant or actually write them.

I’m also very, very good at beginnings.

what are your writing weaknesses?

Everything that isn’t a beginning. Especially endings, or rather: finishing something, but also just... keeping momentum.

I think my dialogue is somewhat samey and not distinct enough between characters. (Also my witty banter is... let’s just say it doesn’t come to me naturally...)

And I also struggle with keeping things brief and to the point. I can write you 30k of whump covering a span of three hours, but fitting a whole story in the same space? Much more difficult!

I have also avoided writing full-on action so far, but where it has crept in it has always been a struggle and been workshopped a lot with the indefatigable beta.

Otherwise, I don’t know. My self-perception is always a little warped, so I’m not sure what other people would say my weaknesses are.

what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Oof. Well. I have used Spanish sentences in my fic and done the thing where they’re translated in the end note, but I’ve mostly done it sparingly. I’ve also done the ‘“What do you want?” he said in Spanish.’ It’s tricky. But I will likely keep doing it in some instances, even if it’s a bit annoying.

(It also really helps to have a native speaker of Spanish as a beta, even if it’s Spanish from a different region than you’re character.)

Speaking of regional: I’m also torn about the whole “phonetically writing out accents” issue. Some people love it, some people hate it, I’m really unsure because I’m not a native speaker of English, so I’m not even sure I’m consistent in my narrative voice’s regional quirks. So far, I’ve mostly gone with describing that an accent is happening, and only writing out when phrasing actually differs from standard English. Like Ian (Scottish) saying “dinnae” but not writing “I” as “ah” as you’d see on, say, Scottish twitter.

Though it can be a very useful tool if, for instance, you want to indicate a characters accent getting stronger as they get tired or upset. 🧐

Anyway, I don’t think there is one right or wrong answer here and everyones milage will vary.

what was the first fandom you wrote for?

Published? ST:PIC

Actually first? Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter. Pretty much simultaneously, though I did write more for LotR. On graph paper, mind, with my fountain pen turned upside down so I could write smaller. I still have folders worth of those stories that I urgently need to digitize before they fade and I lose them forever...

what’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I’m going to quote @thelaithlyworm here: I Love All My Children Equally! I honestly couldn’t say. They are different and I love them for different reasons but I love them all.

Thank you for the tag! ❤ I’ve kinda lost track of who all has done this already or has already been tagged, so feel free to ignore me! But I tink I’m tagging @curator-on-ao3, @aini-nufire, @29-pieces, @flowers-creativity, @highfunctioningflailgirl, @cristobalrios and @the-goofball. And anyone else whom I forgot or who feels inspired to do this!

#ask meme #writing #lili's writing adventures #this was fun!

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sinkix · 5 years ago

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~ Haikyuu!! Boys baking with reader - Ft. Ushijima, Tendou, Oikawa, Hinata & Nishinoya ~

YO! SO UHHHH... I’M BACK??? I GUESS?? MAYBE??? After a little break I had this in my drafts for a while and realllyyy wanted to complete it since it’s such a cute concept. Honestly at this point my posting frequencies are so sporadic and random pls forgive me lmao.

@deathcab4daddy gave me the inspo to include Ushi and it was so funny coming up with ideas for him, he is no.1 country boi chef

Dude I’m listening to the Mario Kart soundtrack ‘Coconut Mall’ while I continue writing this someone save me. Like u think I’m joking. UR WRONG.

Ushijima:

The most straightforward yet idiotic baker you will ever come across.

Before you even THINK about performing step 1, he will read the entire fucking leaflet like it’s a Shakesperean monologue.

INGREDIENTS INCLUDED.

LIKE SIS I DIDN’T NEED TO KNOW IT CONTAINS MONOCALCIUM PHOSPHATE THANK YOU.

I’m surprised he doesn’t count every single particle in the brownie mix.

You bought him a frilly cupcake-printed apron stating ‘best wife’ not expecting him to actually wear it

But since he’s secretly a big softie and treasures anything you buy he wears it proudly.

His stoic and dignified disposition is a comical contrast to the words printed on the front lmao.

Ushi best wifey bro.

The tight fit of the apron is pretty hot since it outlines every ridge of his pecs and tightly toned torso.

Gotta resist groping your mans while stirring the brownie batter.

tbh he’s more likely to grope you, he can’t resist that a$$.

And let’s face it he’s def an ass/thigh kinda guy.

Can and will try to casually initiate some form of unholy activities by lifting you up onto the kitchen counter, goading you to slowly lick the spoon and locking gazes before pulling you in for a deep, open-mouthed kiss to get a taste of the incomplete creation himself.

Ushi’s lips and brownie batter are a knock-out combo js.

Literally has the most serious face when he’s cracking the eggs into the bowl

The amount of concentration is equivalent to that of when he’s performing a serve at match-point.

HAS to set the temperature to the EXACT degree stated on the box

Everything is done by the book if you do one thing out of place he will pull you up on it lol.

“(Y/N) you were supposed to stir it for 5 minutes, not 7.”

When its done you feed him some and he can’t help but smile its so ADORBALE AHHH.

You end up eating most of it since Ushi doesn’t strike me as much of a chocolate/junk food lover.

STILL A VERY FUN BUT F R U S T R A T I N G EXPERIENCE.

Tendou:

The complete opposite of Ushi

Does everything wrong and the unconventional way.

Absolute disaster but doesn’t even sweat it since Tendou basically thrives in chaos and the disorderly.

To him instructions are purely equivocal, will read them for five seconds then toss them away.

Step aside Gordon Ramsey, Chef Tendou is here.

Despite doing everything the unorthodox way it still comes out amazing.

Like??? how???

Will cheekily place a dollop batter on your nose then lick it off fh3jkeffefds

Or if he’s feelin’ a lil freaky, he’ll swipe it off with his long ass finger and make you suck it clean, smirking at your submission as you coat his finger with your saliva.

oop-

Constantly cracking jokes and shitty food puns, pretending to drop the bowl to make you go into preemptive cardiac arrest before you can swat him with the spatula.

While you’re waiting for the timer to ping, Satori being the schemer he is will use this as an opportunity to pull some fuckery and tease you in any way he can.

u better be praying like bodhisattva TanaNoya rn because he is MERCILESS.

Suggestive comments, the brush of his fingers against your thigh, it’ll leave you A C H I N G in frustration by the end of it.

Unholy activities aside, once your baking session is completed you finish it off by feeding PHAT forkfuls of brownie to each other and giggling like dorks when it gets all over your mouth.

The jackass actually got a fingerful and SMEARED it over your cheek and forehead, drawing a little cross and snickering when the crumbs fall onto your nose.

Tendou was smart to draw a cross bc he gonna need jesus with the ATTACK you launch on him after that, which promptly leads to an all out food war in your kitchen that neither of you want to clean up after ward.

Don’t worry though it’s Tendou, he’ll somehow find a way to make such a mundane activity fun.

Nishinoya:

stirs WAY TOO VIOLENTLY

IT’S LIKE AN ELECTRIC WHISK ON OVERDRIVE.

IT WILL SPLATTER OVER THE COUNTER, CUPBOARDS AND EVERYTHING YOU HOLD DEAR WITHIN A 1 MILE RADIUS.

You best believe he will try and eat some of the batter and you have to swat the spoon away from his mouth since he has NO REGARD FOR THE FACT HE COULD GET SALMONELLA.

Plus you know what Noya’s like once he starts eating something the whole thing will be gone in a matter of milliseconds.

He somehow managed to get Baking powder EVERYWHERE and even gave him self a little moustache with it.

The white substance kinda looked like something else but you didn’t really wanna say lmaooo.

could explain why he has so much energy all the time oK ILL STOP-

While you’re putting the mix on the tray he is SO extra and will do fancy lil swirls and over extend his arm like a swan to gracefully spread the batter

until he nearly fucking knocks it over.

During processing time since he is so excitable and impatient you best believe he’s gonna suggest a game of ping pong or something because my guy can well and truly never sit still.

ping pong match with the spatulas, kitchen island and a hard boiled egg.

Pls be careful he will rolling thunder that egg and pimp slap it so hard with the spatula it’ll damn near give you a concussion, not intentionally, but like protect your noggin. Wear a helmet.

For the remaining 5 minutes of baking time y’all just sit like kids in front of the oven and watching it rise like starved hyena’s observing it’s pray before demolishing it into sad particles of cocoa.

And lemme tell u, once the timer pings, that baking tray is free real estate for Noya. Half of your creation will be devoured before you can even put it on a plate and marvel at your handiwork.

He kicked your ass at spatula ping pong btw I’m sorry sweaty but short kings stay winning.

Oikawa:

Such a dramatic bitch like he got the whole she-bang going on.

Strapped with a pink apron, a whisk at his side and standing proudly with both hands on his hips.He is prepared like a greek gladiator going into battle.

You better believe he gonna make some snarky remarks and tease your method of doing things.

“Ah-ah-ahhh (Y/N)-chan you’re doing it all wrong, let me show you how a PRO does it.”

Proceeds to drop entire bowl on his foot and yelp like a little girl in pain.

Well and truly embarrassed with himself, you put a band-aid on his toe and he piped down after that.

Shattered big toe and mixing bowl aside, actually a really good baker??

He is a PRO at decorating, y’all decided on cupcakes since its literally his forte to make them look aesthetic and pretty.

You almost don’t wanna eat them from how good they look.

jk almost

You take it in turns breaking bits off and placing pieces into each others mouth with a loud “aaaaaahhh!”

Places a piece in your mouth, leans forward and locks lips with you in a soft, passionate kiss before pulling away and uttering the words “It tastes even better coming from your mouth ;)”

hnnnNNGGGGGGggGg.

You both whine and bicker over who cleans up after.

“You cleaaannnnn!”

“no Toru YOU clean!”

“but I made the cupcakes look pretty :(”

“not as pretty as you <3″

He did the cleaning after that.

Like just stroke his ego with some compliments and he’s whipped with a smug grin on his face for the next 30 minutes.

You decide to save the rest and bring them to his next practise.

Literally on the verge of tears when he sees you beaming and holding the platter of treats, Kiyotani mauls half of them in a matter of seconds to which Oiks gets salty over LMAO.

Hinata:

So excited oh my god he’s so precious please protect him I will CRY-

Has a little sunflower apron on and JBJKNDDDKDW IM SMILING JUST IMAGINING HIM FIDGETING IN EXCITEMENT OVER THE THOUGHT OF BAKING COOKIES.

Yes you decided on cookies bc he goes rabid for some choc chip biccies.

You have to guide him v carefully because of how easily confused and clumsy he is.

Cannot for the life of him crack the eggs without getting a quarter of the shell in the bowl so you have to do it instead.

Has a surprising amount of strength and forearm power bc holy shit boy can stir FAST.

Hums a little tune while he does it and bobs up and down with a wide grin on his face it’s so adorable, he has such a gentle singing voice I can’t-

Attempts different shapes with the batter when pouring it onto the tray but fails pretty miserably lol.

he tried ok???

Once they’re done he takes the tray out of the oven and since it was heavy, subconsciously propped it with his knee and nearly dropped the entire tray from the pain. (I’ve actually done this before when making chicken nuggets I do not advise being that brain dead)

Had to put some burn cream on the bbies knee :’((

When you decided to dig in, he handed you a cookie that looked like a crooked circle and said he tried to make that one a heart and insisted he feed it to you.

Blushed VERY hard at the moment of silence and intense eye contact while he fed it to you.

Nearly short circuited when his fingers brushed against your lips.

Moe moe x100000000000000000000000000000

You offer to do the cleaning after because he hurt himself and you didn’t wanna make him do any work, but he still offered to wipe the surfaces for you bc he’s an angel <333

literally just wanna marry him.

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theunconcernedembalmer · 4 years ago

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Toko! I was thinking of creating an ask the character blog for IDV or Genshin Impact and wanted a few tips on how to start off. Anything you can share?

ey yo my dude!! thank you so much for this question, now im lowkey tempted (again) to make a genshin ask blog sjadhlkshgkahshglsaj anyway my 1.5 cents is under the cut, yall know how much i talk here HAHAHAHAH

uhhhhhh so i guess we start with picking a character u really Vibe with tm? I KNOW THIS SOUNDS LIKE COMMON SENSE BUT LIKE ive been considering making a genshin ask blog for a while now but i never really got to it cos i couldnt really decide on a character (plus the fact that their outfits are. so intricate. is also a hmm since i try to follow details to a t) (at first i wanted to do zhongli, but i feel like to be able to muse him well u need to know the lore super super well, which i dont n im too lazy to research on that aha. n u know how much i respect characterizations, especially for such a complex character like him. i also considered xiangling for a period of time mostly for guoba but also like i have 2+1 blogs here n having one more might not be a very good idea aha) (as for aesop he was my Hyperfixation Character tm also cos i looked at his kit n went Yep i could work with this. probably)

so assuming ur not a dumbass like me n u kinda know who u wanna pick, id actually say to snoop around here for other ask blogs n kinda get a feel of the... scene? is that the word? or like u know, other blogs that u can potentially vibe with. ive run a couple of ask blogs before this current one (both that have died for different reasons) n from my experience interacting with other blogs (if theyre okay with it, i think most should be) is pretty fun. it also kinda helps get ur blog around to other ppl on other blogs so they can go Oh whats this cool shit n check u out, n its also a reason why we kinda reblog promo posts for other blogs (also cos we’re always excited when someone new comes on, its really the more the merrier. we see all :eyes:). interacting with other blogs is also an option when ur inbox is looking real roomy too

another reason why i havent exactly done a genshin blog is that idk i cant actually seem to find genshin ask blogs around (i have seen rp blogs, or those that answer asks with mostly text instead of art, but thats. not my thing since i hate my own writing aha) (i did find one aether blog some time ago, but for some reason i hardly see them around anymore??? idk man i might be wrong). its not like im trying super hard to find them ask blogs, so im sure they exist out there (hopefully?? im not sure but im being optimistic). i mean theres nothing wrong with just starting an ask blog without others around, but for me i do find a difference when i interact with other ask blogs n when i dont, n i prefer when theres others to have fun with (unfortunately i couldnt find any ask blogs to interact with in my previous fandom. i tried, but the blogs i approached seemed to go inactive shortly afterwards...) plus u get to meet friends that way too :D (i made a lot of friends via idv askblogs n its really been a joy vibing with others)

as for the idv scene. gestures around me. unfortunately there are a lot of ask blogs that arent that active anymore, but theres still some of us who are alive n kicking empty inboxes, n im sure everyone would love to see a new face around. winks at u. also there seems to be a lot more blogs popping up lately, which is really heartening to see.

then u kinda just. make ur blog? n a starting introduction post so ppl can reblog it n spread the word XD n yay u have a blog i guess??? XD

i gotta say tho. dont expect ur blog to take off immediately (especially for smaller fandoms like idv, tvbh i didnt think my blog would even get half this far when i started cos of how non existent idv tumblr seemed to be) n ur inbox will probably be looking pretty empty a lot of the time (or at least filled with some that u havent quite thought of how to reply to yet aha) (but also like empty inboxes happen pretty often, im sure most of us here have experienced this problem)

in the case of the first ask blog i ever started, it never really took off at all. ngl it was kind of demoralizing n depressing but to be fair i had picked one of the more obscure characters in the series, so obscure that many ppl in the fandom would have never heard of this character before. if u wanted to know, i took a character that only appeared in the 2nd musical of the series, who also made a very brief cameo in the manga to acknowledge his existence within that universe. thats how obscure my character was, but i went with him purely because he was my favourite character. i will say though i did enjoy it while it lasted n i learnt a lot from the experience, n i think thats whats important really.

i guess this kinda leads on (not really but let me digress) to the whole uhhhh thing where if u choose a more popular character, u get more attention. which is fine i guess? if u really vibe with the character, i mean theyre popular for a reason. n choosing a more popular fandom (like genshin) would objectively also get u more viewers n numbers. but like honestly i believe that ask blogs are meant for u to have fun with, n like trying to get popular gets tiring pretty fast (this shouldnt be like a main goal, but u know sometimes u subconsciously also want that gucci follower count n bomb ass notes or something. i used to be guilty of this until i realized it isnt worth it) especially if ur not enjoying yourself in the process. (case in point: my previous fandom was considerably larger n my blog got about 700 followers within a year or so, but it got very tiring n stressful to maintain after my interest in it died, n no one was really interacting with the blog even though i tried which kinda made it even more depressing despite the so called success n popularity of the blog)

anyway on a less serious note, theres a lot of fun stuff u can do with the ask blog, like some ask blogs have really fancy tags that i really like n try to do but also like not really HAHAHAHA. i kinda just channel what i want to see in an ask blog into my own ask blogs (good art is one, i try very hard for it to be good :,DD another is characterization, n others is just extra miscellaneous arts n stuffs like au ideas or memes. these are also somethings u could work on during ask box downtimes perhaps)

uhhh another side thing is like a posting schedule i guess? like ppl would be more likely to interact (i think) if ur blog is relatively active, n this is usually determined by the last post u made (i think XD). but like generally for blog maintenence id say try to kinda find a frequency that ur comfortable with?? cos i know my once a day posting is kinda insane if i wasnt so hyperfixated on all of this n fight the urge to dump all ur replies when u finish them XD (though ive seen some blogs do that n they do it pretty frequently so its pretty nice to know once u see their post u can spend some time going through the latest batch of posts XD) the queue function is pretty useful here even though i truthfully have never really used it, i kinda just post from my drafts really but it also helps to space out ur content to seem somewhat active especially when u dont have the time to be working on replies sometimes. i hope u know what im trying to say here aha

ANYWAY that was like my 1.5 cents cos i dont even think its worth 2 cents HAHAHAHAH these are just my thoughts from running all my blogs up till now, some that are still running n the others that have just died a natural death. i wouldnt actually delete them (theyre still around actually XD) cos theyre kinda like archives n i can look back at what i did last time. cos ngl i made some high quality stuff back then, n i dont even know how i managed to do that aldhflhdsgk. also ppl do look at archive blogs every now n then for the content thats there yknow

BUT YES anyway if u do decide to join the idv ask blogs hmu, ill be sure to give u a lil shoutout here. winks

#its me the mun #unconcerned ramblings #i know ive said that there are a lot of new blogs popping up #but uhhh i dont really dare to interact with them #considering they kinda did come in just when shit had hit the fan n idk i might have been known as The Problematic Blog tm #so i understand if ppl dont want to interact with me n im fine with it. so for now i wont be initiating anything #like dropping asks into inboxes unless i know the mun n theyre comfortable with me doing this #i will interact with everyone who drops by my inbox tho!!#i also tend to get to replies for other blogs faster than general replies cos i feel bad if i kept the other person waiting for too long #I DO forget about rp replies sometimes tho. sometimes #i try my best to get to every one of them tho. even when im kinda busy this period aha #also starting off is actually easy. its about maintaining thats difficult i feel #which is also why i havent done up a genshin ask blog yet HAHAHAHAHA #i really hate to give up on something ive already started when it comes to art projects so

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woulddieforperrytheplatypus · 4 years ago

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Concept: Dipper looks around in Doof's lab and finds a duplicate-inator. He uses it to recreate Tyrone. There's just one little problem: Doof thought it would be a good idea to incorporate parts from the Repulse-inator because it had a cloning function. His poor planning skills end up with the town getting overrun by mindless jewish nerds (I think the Pines are Jewish, it was kind of ambiguous).

This has been sitting half-finished in my drafts for probably a couple months now soooo yeah maybe it’s time to finish it fhdsjhfkjas I love this idea tho omg

First of all, that is totally something Doof would do because he totally wouldn't have learned his lesson the first time. He would think he learned his lesson, but then he'd get the chance to use the duplicatinator and he'd be like "welllll maybe it'll be different this time!" and technically he's right because it is different, but only because it's so much worse.

I really wanna know how they go about fixing it. If Doof already knows the repulse-inator, he and the kids doubtlessly already know that water stops these things, but just shooting the first one with water and stopping the whole Dipocalyse seems too easy so idk maybe one of the Dipper zombies escapes and they don’t find out until he’s infected a bunch of other people and then they have a full-scale Dipocalypse to stop.

First of all, I think Doof, Perry, Stan, and Ford should all have to work together because literally everyone would be two seconds away from strangling Doof at all times. this is where i stopped writing this a solid month or two ago so idk where i was going with this uhhhh Ford would suggest that they take Dipper, both to teach him accountability by making him right his own wrong and because he could use the experience, to which Stan would give a very emphatic “No!” Dipper would refuse to help without Mabel, whom Ford isn’t sure he trusts enough for something this serious (he loves her to death but he’s not sure she’s cut out for this type of thing), so both Stan and Ford agree that the kids should stay at Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc and stay safe.

Once Stan, Ford, and Doof have all separated from them and started working on a plan, Perry comes out to help. He knows he shouldn’t reveal his identity, especially to two people as unpredictable as Stan and Ford, but he can’t ignore this crisis and he can’t go at it alone, so working with the three of them is going to be the closest he can get. Stan and Ford are both shocked, obviously, but they both show it in completely different ways. Ford is intrigued because in all his adventures, he’s never seen an anthropomorphic platypus before. Stan, on the other hand, is like holy shit the platypus has processed my every move he’s seen all the embarrassing shit I’ve done over the last few months and it’s v awkward for a minute before they get to work.

Meanwhile, the kids are all hanging out together, and Dipper is pacing back and forth and angry-ranting about how unfair it is that Ford doesn’t trust Mabel on this and that Stan doesn’t trust either of them on this and it’s not like it’s out-of-place for him to want to help because he’s the one who made the mistake in the first place, and --

So finally Phineas is like, “No one told us that we couldn’t help,” not because he’s trying to spite Stan and Ford -- in fact, he thinks they’d be okay with Dipper and Mabel helping Phineas, Ferb, and their friends as long as Stan, Ford, and Doof aren’t involved; he doesn’t really understand what exactly the twins were forbidden from doing -- but because he knows they’re all capable people who have stopped world-altering things like this before so why would they sit this one out? And Candace is about to say a very firm “No!” until Vanessa (who’s also there obviously; it’s her dad’s place, after all) says that it would probably be a good idea to stop this before her dad makes it worse, and Candace can’t argue with Cool Older Punk Girl Vanessa™ so she has to go along with it (and Stacy and Jeremy are there too because they didn’t really do anything in NotLP and while I did love Stacy’s obliviousness, I feel like she’s gotta be involved in this one).

Honestly, I got no idea how this is gonna go, but I have two general ideas for the end: a) It ends like Last Day of Summer where the Doof side and the kids’ side both save Danville at the same time so neither group gets all the credit or b) it ends like NotLP where the Doof side and the kids’ side somehow unite at the climax and they solve things together. I’m kinda of partial to the latter because it allows for an emotional confrontation between Dipper and his Grunkles where he insists that he is old enough and mature enough to fight his own battles, no matter how big those battles may be, and that he’s going to do it whether they’re with him or not. And tbh at that point they have to admit that he (and Mabel) did a damn good job and how can they say no to that? The only problem is that Perry can’t be around for the end if that happens, unless he’s somewhere else and fixing the problem from afar like he does throughout CATU.

But it ends with everyone turning back to normal, a big group hug, and everyone lives happily ever after! (except maybe Tyrone)

#look i have an ask #phineas and ferb #pnf #gravity falls #gf #night of the living pharmacists #double dipper #tyrone gf #PnF/GF crossover

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imnotrevealingmyname · 5 years ago

Note

For fanfic writer questions: All. Of. Them. Alternatively: 15. 21 and 25

Lmao 😂😂😂😂❤️❤️❤️❤️ I'm doing all of them.

1. Phone, on Google docs. My phone is an absolute mess.

2. Fanfiction? About two years ago. Don't ask about original stuff. Oof

3. Loki fics, poems.

4. Both? Both. Both is good.

5. Terrible. Ok I'm kidding, I'd describe it as poetic, in a way? Overly poetic is good, ig. But it's also overly dramatic- something I hate seeing in people. Which makes me a hypocrite, ig. Lmao.

But in all honesty, I'm pretty flexible in my writing. Even while writing poems, I can easily shift from writing about EXTREMELY dark stuff (trust me, you don't wanna know) to something light and fluffy, which is a good thing, I guess? But it also feels a bit suffocating sometimes because I have a habit of reading my stuff from the POV of a reader, once I'm done with writing it. So I try to make it as bearable as possible. People nowadays don't always like intense stuff, and since I'm a freaky gal who started reading Shakespeare in third grade, it becomes difficult for me to give up my very intense style of writing. I probably don't make sense, but, uh. Whatever. Point is, I'm not perfect.

6. Random stuff. Seriously. My cupboard can set me off in a writing frenzy- most of the time,however, I don't even know what inspiration is. I meet her very infrequently- so infrequently that she's very forgettable :')

7. No? Sometimes? A couple of my fics were inspired by songs, I suppose. I also unpublished one, if I remember correctly.

8. The title. Oh god, that always makes me lose sleep. And also, the descriptions. Either I'm overly descriptive, or I end up writing a whole one shot in less than 300 words. Why Am I An Idiom is going to be the name of my autobiography, if I ever write one. (And yes, it's is Idiom. Long story.)

9. I don't really have any fixed place for writing. I've been known to write poems in the bathroom, so

10. Do I have a current WIP? I honestly have no idea what I'm doing with them. All I've been writing lately are one shots.

11. I don't count, but I have over 45 drafts

12. If you're talking about fics, then there's this fic I wrote, called Alien Ardour, a few months ago. I unpublished it due to several reasons, but I honestly love it. Also, I really like my one shots Scandalous and Silenced.

13. Like in total? What's 63+48+9? And it's ongoing.

14. Loki. Duh. And death. I love writing about death :')

15. OCs if it's multichapter, reader insert (NO Y/N, PLEASE, TAKE THAT AS FAR AWAY FROM ME AS POSSIBLE) if it's a one shot.

16. Repetitive question.

17. The Soul Trade. A few chapters were for aesthetics, but ok.

18. Loki. Only Loki. And uh.... Drarry. That's my fricking OTP.

19. @caffiend-queen. I love several other authors but she's always the first to come to my mind when I'm asked this question.

20. No

21. Coffee shop AU 😂 I don't even regret this

22. Idiots to lovers

23. 2 years. Fun fact: my first fic was a Drarry fic. I love it so much that it's still on Wattpad, even though I've not updated it in like a year.

24. Haven't we all?

25. Motivation? Who? What? Okay I'm kidding, I read fanfics. Seriously. Either I reread my own and edit them to sorta get back the feel of writing, or I end up reading a new fic. Smut who?

26. I was eight when I started writing, for heaven's sake. I don't remember.

27. If you're talking about fanfiction, then it's definitely @ohhhmyloki and @latent-thoughts (Tumblr won't let me tag y'all, for some reason). I used to write before I read their works but I quite literally began my journey with smut after reading their fics. And I don't think any of my fics written before that even exist anymore. But if we're talking about writing in general, then it's O Henry and Bernard Shaw. Maybe Gerald Durrell. Did I mention that I love Gerald Durrell?

28. Loki.

29. Idiotic. Messy. Freaky.

30. Um, I don't really wanna say this, but it's Just A Kiss Goodnight. It may be my most 'famous' fic, but it's definitely not the best. For one thing, I wrote it in less than a week, and I haven't edited it. And there's no fucking smut. I'm not saying that smut is necessary to make a fic good, but it doesn't have any intimacy in it. It's definitely not boring, I'll give it that, but it's childish.

31. Wtf is the difference

32. What kinda question is this

33. One shot? Depends. I can be freaky fast and write one in less than fifteen minutes, or I can take literal weeks to finish one.

34. Dude, what's the normal font in android? I have no idea. But one of my favourites is monotype corsiva, when I'm on my laptop.

35. Both.

36. I don't

37. All of my works, oof 😂 well, no. But there's this fic I've written, called Let's Get Drunk Together. And another. It's called Three Isn't A Crowd, After All. Cringy af

38. Smut. Dark poetry.

39. WHY ARE SO MANY QUESTIONS REPEATED? It's idiots to lovers, ffs

40. On Tumblr? Average is 60, I think.

41. Yes

42. Writing.

43. All the time

44. Yes

45. I can be as thirsty and smutty as I want without being judged, bless fanfiction.

46. The "WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO TO MY HEART WHAT ARE YOU DOING AHHHHHHHHHHHH AND WHY AM I SO AROUSED AT THIS TIME OF ALL TIMES AND WHY IS THIS ANGSTY GIVE ME FLUFF" feeling. Not to brag, but I'm very good at that.

47. I can do anything and everything I want. I can make a unicorn fuck a werewolf and nobody will judge me. Or maybe they will.

48. Yes- Wattpad and Ao3.

49. Google docs, word.

50. Fucking Y/N. Like, not literally fucking Y/N, but uh- I mean, I'd totally fuck my clone? But Y/N isn't me, I hate Y/N. And I hate people who just comment on your fic to promote their own fics. We write for your happiness, please at least do the courtesy of appreciating that and not disrespecting our efforts. Most of us spend nights lying awake to give you stuff to read. And also, people who just comment to say,"Update," two minutes after you've just updated. That's RUDE.

51. High school AU

52. Cock, pussy, salacious, sepulchral, pulchritudinous....... I don't have a one track mind I swear

53. Giggled. FUCKING GIGGLED. I don't understand WHY people have this tendency of writing,"she giggled," and,"he chuckled." I don't know why but GIGGLED sounds like something not EVEN a simpering schoolgirl would do. I don't giggle. Not once have I seen peeps who write GIGGLE associate GIGGLE with men, which is something that I find very disturbing and sexist. Call me biased, go on. But I might not even have been here now because I'm from THAT orthodox and sexist a family, and if they'd been any more sexist, I'd have been killed after birth, so don't even dare to come near me with a ten foot pole if you're sexist.

54. Well, yes, I think. I certainly don't hate it, or I wouldn't write.

Dang, I spent over half an hour writing that. Hope that made even an iota of sense.

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awkwardlittlepringle · 5 years ago

Text

Queer ‘n Crazy

CHAPTER NINE

Hello, fellow Fanders!

I really hope y'all are doing okay, with the virus going around and everything. School just shut down where I live, and the gravity of the whole situation is just getting to me, really. I might release this chapter a day late, sorry about that; I'm just a bit shaken up. :)

Are you guys doing okay? You better be! If you aren't just mention it and I'll give you a virtual hug. Here's a virtual hug, even if you don’t need it. 🤗

(Is that a hug emoji? IDK.)

ANYWAY, HERE'S THE CHAPTER!

Previous Chapter / Next Chapter

WARNINGS: Swearing, obliviousness, nicknames, mention of suicide, depression, yelling, disaster gays, watching people when they sleep... I think that's it.

.................

"If you're sad, and depressed, cause your life's a fucking mess, if you're sad and you know it clap your-"

Virgil groaned, trying to will his heavy hand to rise. It wasn't working.

The tinkling tune kept playing, and Virgil, instead of turning it off, buried his head in his pillow instead. Usually he'd slap it off immediately, but Logan had suggested leaving it on the other side of the room in an effort to help Virgil get out of bed.

Needless to say, it didn't have the intended effect.

Virgil heard a noise from the other side of the room. "Turn that bloody thing off." Logan grumbled, shifting in his bed to squint at Virgil. Virgil poked his tongue out at him, before turning the other way and clamping his hands over his ears. Logan groaned into his pillow, before lifting his head and putting on his glasses.

Now able to actually see Virgil he glared at the teen, who was watching him with a smirk.

"If you're suicidal and you know it-"

"Why the hell did you make that you're alarm, you bitch." said Logan, cricking his neck. Virgil tossed the covers away from himself and sat up, rubbing his face. "Patton said to change it to If you're happy and you know it. I thought this would be more bareable."

"Well it clearly isn't." Logan scrunched up his nose -How the fuck is he so cute?- and yawned. "Turn it off..." "You do it, you're closer!" "It's your alarm!" Pretty irrefutable logic.

Virgil grimaced before dragging his unwilling feet to hit the frigid ground. You'd think carpet would be warmer. He trudged over to his dresser and grabbed his phone; dismissing the alarm. Upon doing so, he caught sight of his reflection in the mirror.

Almost subconciously, he hissed at his reflection. Gross.

He froze, shoulders hunching, and whirled around to face Logan. A bewildered expression graced the other's usually stoic features, accompanied by a heart-stoppingly hot smirk.

"Did you just hiss?" Oh shit he thinks you're a weirdo. Great job dumba- "That is adorable." Virgil started, heat rushing up his neck.

"What?" "I said, that is adorable." Logan's face softened as he gazed at Virgil. (Who was still frozen.) He thinks I'm cute? "How the hell is it cute?!" "I have no clue. How come you do it?" Virgil hunched in on himself, bewildered. "I dunno, why do you wanna know anyway?" "My roommate, who's already cat-like enough, hisses. It's only natural for me to be curious." "What do you mean, cat-like?"

"You sit on top of high surfaces, humm when you're pleased, are attracted to warmth, curl up when you sleep, you hiss-" "You watch me when I sleep?!" "I- uh-"

Logan began to stammer, his face turning a brilliant crimson. Despite his extensive vocabulary, he seemed lost for words. His sleep-shirt hung off his shoulder, and a dull light filtered through the gap in the curtains. It illuminated his pale skin and reflected off his glasses, casting a halo-like glow around his flustered figure. His bedhead was ruffled and sticking up awkwardly, and a beautiful blush dusted across his exposed collarbones and cheeks. His hand came up to cover his mouth as he avoided Virgil's gaze.

God, he's gorgeous.

Virgil felt his blush returning, and he snapped his open jaw closed. He turned back toward his mirror to see he was grinning. For once, it didn't look too bad on him.

"Uh, so, what class do we have first?" He watched Logan's reflection as he turned back to Virgil. "English." "Shit, I forgot to finish my draft." Virgil snatched his hairbrush off his dresser, running it through his bed-head frantically. Logan chuckled, stretching his arms out. "You can finish it at breakfast." "How long do we have 'till then?" said Virgil, now rummaging through his closet. "40 minutes."

"Okay." Virgil turned toward Logan. "I'm assuming you're gonna take a shower?" "Mhm. I honestly don't understand how you go without one." he said, finally getting out of bed. He grabbed a towel out of his chest. "Is it alright if I go first?" "Go ahead."

Half an hour later the two of them were rushing around, doing a few final checks. Well, at least Virgil was rushing around. "Are you sure I can finish it at breakfast?" Logan frowned. "I don't know, it's your writing." "I'm just editing." "Well then why wouldn't you?" He replied, straightening his tie. Virgil shrugged, grabbing his pencil case off his desk and shoving it into his bag.

"I dunno, Lo. I'm just a mess in general." "You're a pretty great mess, if I do say so myself." Warmth flooded through Virgil at the compliment, leaving him confused. This was the third time this morning he'd blushed because of Logan...

Logan, however, didn't seem to notice his roommates reaction. He grabbed his bag off of his desk before turning to Virgil. "I feel like I'm forgetting something..." said Virgil, ruffling through his bag. "Keys?" "Ah, right. Thanks, Logan." "No problem."

Just as Virgil was about to leave, he spotted an empty pill bottle on his desk. He grabbed it, before shoving it into his pocket. Logan shot a questioning look at Virgil as he joined him in the hallway.

"I'm seeing my phsyciatrist today, she said she was going to switch my meds. Wanted to know which ones I was taking." Logan nodded.

The two walked down the hallway in silence, enjoying each other's company. While it was peaceful, Virgil couldn't help but adress the slight giddiness that seemed to have settled in his chest. It was confusing; he had no reason to feel this way. It was a nice feeling, though. Kind of like he was floating.

He followed Logan down the hallway to an elevator, and stepped inside. As the doors closed, Logan asked-

"How come you didn't finish your draft?" Virgil shrugged. "I dunno, I just couldn't get it done." Logan frowned. "Weren't you staring at your computer screen for like 30 minutes last-" "Shhhhhh~!" Virgil held up a finger.

"What?" "You're ruining it." "What am I ruining, exactly?" "My excuse." The doors opened at the lobby, and the pair stepped out, and began walking to the doors.

"I'm just saying, you can't exactly tell Mrs Von that." Virgil scrunched up his nose. The two walked up to the sliding doors. Just as they cracked open, a familiar voice filtered through.

"Hey guys!!!!" Despite his confusion, Virgil found himself smiling.

Standing in the middle of the courtard was a grinning Roman, waving madly at them. Patton was with him, also waving, although in a much calmer manner. Logan exhaled as he adjusted his bag strap.

"Good morning you two." They joined the others in the courtyard, and the four of them began to walk toward the dining hall. This had become the usual routine for them. Each pair would come out about eight minutes before breakfast, wait for the other, and then they'd walk together.

"Have you guys finished your drafts for english?" "Yup." "Pretty much. I'm gonna look over it at breakfast, though." Virgil groaned. "I swear I'm the only one who isn't finished." He said, shoving his hands in his pockets. "How much do you have left?" asked Patton, falling into step beside him. "Just editing." "Well then you shouldn't have a problem, should you?" He said, smiling encouragingly. Virgil shrugged, looking away.

What if he didn't finish though? He was fine with being in trouble, but being called out in front of everyone was a high possibility, and certainly wasn't one he liked.

"C'mon, Virg!" Patton brushed his shoulder against Virgil's. "You'll be alright. All the teachers are understanding, they take illnesses into account, remember?" Virgil chuckled. "It sounds like you'rer talking about cancer." Virgil's eyes widened. "N-Not that I'm joking about cancer, of course- that's kind of stupid-" "Virgil, I know. Calm down." Patton linked his arm through Virgil's. It was a simple touch, but it certainly helped calm him.

"And anyway, I have something else to mention." Patton slowed his pace, tugging Virgil along with him. Virgil let out a small noise at the movement, before steadying himself and glancing at Patton, worried. Noticing Virgil's expression, Patton let out a small chuckle.

"Nothing bad I promise." Virgil raised an eyebrow, causing Patton to gasp. "How do you do that? You're like Doctor Who!" Virgil scoffed. "Hardly." "Anyway, I just wanted to ask... Are you good?" Virgil looked at strangely. "Yeah~? I mean I haven't got worse since I got here-" "No no no, not like that. I mean, this morning, you looked kinda spaced out." Was it that noticable?

"I was? I didn't notice." "I'd like to make it clear that I don't believe that for a second." Apparently Patton could see through him. "Tell me~! That is if you want to, of course." "I'd prefer not to." Patton pouted, but left it alone.

But now Virgil was even more confused. There isn't any reason for him not to tell Patton, so why didn't he tell him? Maybe to avoid sounding crazy?

"Hurry up, slowpokes!" Virgil looked up to see Roman watching them from around 20 feet away, tapping his foot impatiently. "At this rate all the hashbrowns will be gone." "They refill them, Roman." "Shut it, Calculator."

"Roman! What did I say about name calling!" Roman rolled his eyes. "Okay, dad." Patton grinned mischeviously. "That's right. You're all my kiddos now." Logan blinked.

"You're younger than me-" "Hush, Lolo. Respect your elders." "Roman what have you done." said Virgil jokingly. "We're gonna be late!" said Roman, grabbing Patton by the hand. "Accompany me, Padre!"

Logan watched the pair's retreating backs with a dumbstruck look.

"I have never been more confused in my life?" Virgil snickered at the look on his face, before grabbing his elbow. His skin tingled where it met Logan's. "Come on, Logan. If we leave them alone they'll probably find a way to burn the hall down.

"There are no fires lit in the hall?!"

................

Summary : Virgil and Logan are getting ready for bed, Virgil being a blushing gay mess the whole way. They meet the others in the courtyard, and walk to the dining hall. Patton notices that Virgil's spaced out today, to which he responds with "I didn't notice." It doesn't fool Patton though. Platonic Lamp shenanigins ensue, and Virgil is left wondering what the elated feeling in his chest is.

TAGS :

@someone-idk-is-here

@true-chaotic-dumbass

@tired-babyboy

@666frostwolf

If you wanna be added to the list, shoot me an ask. :)

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yoong-i · 5 years ago

Text

this was supposed to be a fav D-2 lyrics post but it just somehow turned into me rambling my thoughts about D-2 in regard to life and what he’s said in the interviews so far

So I started this and then my computer decided to restart and I lost all of it. And then when I finally finished it and hit save draft one last time, Tumblr stopped working. So if you see anything formatted weirdly, let me know. The universe was against me on this one.

As always, all translators are linked. Check them out and give them credit, they’re great at what they do. Sometimes they update things, so I really do recommend checking out the links to see if they’ve made any updates since I’ve posted.

I love Yoongi’s writing a lot, so I tend to get a bit wordy. I’d say I’m sorry but really, me doing these lyric posts is entirely self-indulgent so, I’m not.

(OK. I wrote that part before I finished and YIKES this ended up being SO LONG I am SORRY)

I want to point out some of the obvious references first that I know everyone on the internet has already figured out, but as I’ve said, idc. I like to have things in one place so I can look back at it. These ones don’t need much explanation, I feel, so I’m just gonna leave them here. Credits for these are with their songs down below.

“If you think you’re gonna crash, accelerate even harder, you idiot”

From Moonlight, but also Intro: Never Mind, which is just so Yoongi to me. I think that song gives you an accurate picture of him.

“I got a big house big car big ring, bring anything over, I’ll give it to you”

From What do you think?, and then No More Dream, Home, and Interlude: Shadow. This gif set breaks the references down nicely. It’s interesting to see the different tones he takes when referencing this line. I think Interlude: Shadow is my favorite, but really, I’m just biased to that song and they’re all truly great.

“I’m a king, I’i m a boss”

Daechwita to Interlude: Shadow (I am sorry that this song is all I ever talk about all the time). I can’t remember if he references wanting to be the king/top in other songs, and I’m too lazy to check right now. So I’m going to go with no unless someone would like to correct me, I don’t mind.

There’s also the Burn It/Outro: Tear references that are just too much to copy and paste, really. I’m sure an argument can be made that it’s the whole song being referenced, but to me, this is the obvious part being referenced from Outro: Tear:

“Right, it’s there, what are you hesitating for? This is the end you wanted I hope you kill quickly without hesitation Woo yeah yeah burn it, woo yeah yeah yeah burn it, woo yeah yeah yeah burn it So that not even ashes are left. This is the real you and this is the real me We’ve now seen the end and there are not even resentments left Awake now from sweet dreams, I close my eyes This is the real you and this is the real me“

While I didn’t list a lyric from Interlude: Set Me Free, I just want to say that I do really love this song, but there just aren’t many lyrics in it. Additionally, I’m not sure what exactly he’s saying he wants to be set free from, and so it doesn’t feel right to make an assumption about the lyrics. (Which is kinda bothering me, not in an annoyed way, but more or less just nagging at me.) But really, I love any interlude from Yoongi. Set Me Free sounds so beautiful and so calming and I wish the bird chirping didn’t drive my cat so crazy so I could enjoy it more.

“Changes are fated to happen to everyone, perhaps, how we change is what our undertaking is about.”

Moonlight. I’ve said this before, but I really do love a good lyric about growing and changing and this mixtape definitely has a lot of it. I think it is interesting that he talks about change like this in the opening song, and then he talks about change in Dear my friend, which is much different given the tone of that whole song. Here, in the very first song, he poses the idea of “change is good, depending how you change” and then delves into a mixtape that discusses “the present” of his life (he tells Billboard in this article that this mixtape is about the present), which I find interesting. I’ll try to touch on it more in Dear my friend.

“What’s after this? Feeling a strong feeling of reality check, a situation where there’s no higher. I had only looked up, now I just wanna look down and gently land.”

Daechwita. Yes, Interlude: Shadow AGAIN (as your local Shadow enthusiast, it only makes sense I pick a lyric that connects.) Although he says don’t let me down in Shadow, in that song I take it more as “I want to come down but I’m terrified of what’s gonna happen.” Where Shadow is more desperate, the tone of Daechwita is definitely more confident. Plus he has that whole mad king thing going for him (and then the whole killing the mad king thing) which Muish discusses wonderfully in the translation I linked.

This is another thing I love about Yoongi and his lyrics. He’s discussing the same thing in the lines of these different songs, but you get to witness these two battling personas when it comes to the topic. And I guess that is the point of there being a difference between Suga and Agust D, but I do wonder where Yoongi falls between these two. He lets you see his struggle and that’s why I love his writing. (I also love that for this song he says focus more on the visual and auditory enjoyment than the lyrics. The video really does tell a good story.)

“Crazy that you’d think that my success has a connection to your failure.”

“I have no fucking interest in those who ask whether idol music is music.”

What do you think? The idol lyric may seem like a weird choice, but as a long time boyband stan I’m so over the way artists who were/are in boybands get disregarded for their talent. I’ve come to realize I just need to stop caring whether or not they are socially accepted by “others” and just enjoy what music they are choosing to share with me and those who support them.

I don’t have much to say about the success lyric. It’s just Yoongi being his usual self and I love it.

“Capital injects morphine called hope with dream as collateral“

The first time I read this I did a double take. Much to unpack here, but I think that is even beyond me. Interpret it as you please.

“The one who has his eyes open in the world that has its eyes closed — now they make him blind, isn’t it strange.”

Namjoon has a similar lyric later, but rather than the second half of Yoongi’s lyric, Joon says “that he has his eyes open alone is so much more strange for me” and I love the contrast between the two. Very on brand too.

“But still, life goes on, somehow, just like this, everyone, in their own chicken coop, says they’re okay.”

Strange. I had to stop myself because it is very hard to just not copy and paste the whole freakin song. I love anything these two create together as they are two of the most wonderful lyricists I have ever seen. Going off of that, this song is very reminiscent of Respect for me. Do yourself a favor and just sit down and read through these lyrics (Strange, but also I always recommend Respect). Songs like these make me wish I was a fly on the wall for conversations between these two.

“People change, just as I have, there’s nothing eternal about life, they’re all happenings that pass by”

“Did someone say humans are the animals of wisdom? The way I see it, humans are the animals of regret”

People. I love this song a lot (and NOT just because he sounds like an angel in it...) Despite that, I’m not sure why but I found myself stuck on what he was trying to say with this song as a whole. I enlisted my best friend for help and she gave me some good insight and one of the things she said was “good can come out of living each day like it means something.” While I didn’t see this song as inherently negative, I don’t think I was viewing the song in a way that would have allowed me to see this silver lining. I saw it as more cynical I guess?

“Tomorrow will come and go once again, this kind of me, that kind of you are both simply enduring the day, I guess.”

Honsool. Time isn’t real. Am I writing this at 2 o’clock in the morning when I should be asleep? Maybe so. But time isn’t real and the days come and go and we’re all just enduring. I like the word choice there. Not surviving, or getting by, or living. We’re enduring.

“I grow older and become to know the world, and yet, would it have been better to not know the world?”

Ignorance is bliss. Kinda. This lyric actually reminded me of Nightmare by Halsey, one part specifically: “'Cause kindness is weakness, or worse, you're complacent, I could play nice or I could be a bully, I'm tired and angry, but somebody should be” And like. Yeah. Would I rather be ignorant to all the world’s problems and not give a shit about anything just to be happy, or should I let myself succumb to believing in cynicism for the sake of the world and caring about things? I used a different translation for this lyric than I did for the other two lyrics in 28.

“To live, live, live just one day without any worries, just one day without any concerns.”

“I thought it’d change when I turned twenty, I thought it’d change when I graduated, Shit, if I’m thirty like this, this, And so, so, what’s changed with me?”

28. This was another one of those where I had to stop and tell myself, Ahna, please do not copy every lyric. But, just know that I wanted to. We spend so many of our days looking forward because we are so displeased with where we are currently at (reminder: this mixtape is about the present.) There’s the constant thought of “once I achieve this thing, it’ll be better!” We’ve all done it, I’ve done it, and I truly hate it. The difference here is you have someone like Yoongi, who is at the top, who has it “all” and he is still stuck in this mindset. Oh, also, hi he’s talking about change again.

“[Always], the choice and decision is yours to make. I hope you don’t forget that giving up decisively also counts as courage.”

Burn It. It is now 4am and Burn It just came on shuffle and I’ve been staring at this lyric for a bit too long, hating my 2pm fully conscious self for choosing this one and leaving writing about it for last. This lyric is existential crisis content. I don’t think I’ve ever in my life heard someone talk about giving up in this way. Giving up can be so powerless, but thinking about giving up in this way not only restores power, but also praises you for being able to make such a decision bold decision for yourself. Makes you think a lot about Yoongi and how he turned out the way he has.

Yoongi reiterated a similar thought in the interview with TIME: “It’s good to know that it’s fine when things go in an unintended direction, because you can always start over again. Keep calm, take the next-best option and move forward.” And this translator also points out another instance, just a month before he dropped his mixtape, of him saying basically the same thing again to one of the listeners on his Live who said they gave up their dream: “I don’t know what circumstances you were in, but I think you must have had tremendous courage. Giving something up decisively takes lots of courage. And, you’ve worked hard.” Like, is he trying to make me cry?

“Was it you who changed? Or was it me? I hate this flowing time, it's us who changed.”

Dear my friend. First, in regard to the lyric itself, there are so many friendships we look back on, ruined or not, and wonder whose fault it was. Maybe even blame them if it’s easier. While it does vary by friendship, I do think it’s important to step back and question our place in it all going wrong, and how we have changed as well. The “I hate this flowing time, it's us who changed” reminds me of how sometimes there truly is nothing you can do when it comes to changing and growing apart from people. It’s not your fault, it’s not my fault, we have changed in ways we both needed to and we are not compatible anymore. I do think the overarching theme in Dear my friend is different from this, however.

I was not expecting this song at all. I think a lot of stuff Yoongi writes is very open and vulnerable, but this song really took me by surprise because it’s a different kind of open. This song will make you miss friendships and people that went downhill, wondering what more you could have done for them. Why he gotta do me like this.

Going back to the thought I posed in Moonlight, in Dear my friend we witness a change that just... isn’t good. Aside from that, on an album which is supposedly all about the present of his life, this song is not. Maybe it is present because it is something that still clearly bothers him, and something, or rather someone, he thinks about a lot, but I still find it interesting. Maybe it was just a sentiment he felt he really needed to get out.

He talks about change a lot on this album, yet when they ask him in the D-2 interviews (TIME/Billboard) about how he feels things have changed since the last mixtape, he says he doesn’t feel his life really changed.

If you listen to Intro: Never Mind, he says the only thing he feels that’s different about him is his height, and that he’s mature compared to people his age. That must be very grounding, feeling that despite the whirlwind of his life and fame he is still the same person he’s always been. And then again, 5 years later in 2020, the only change he mentions about himself is that he’s matured. I guess “matured” can be taken different ways, especially in regard to the way he talks about growth on this album. But I respect and admire him talking about himself like this. I appreciate the introspection and I take maturing in this context as a positive thing. I take it as him growing in good ways, becoming better versions of himself, which I feel shows in the art he produces.

One more thought, and it goes back to the interviews. Yoongi told TIME “what’s good is good” is his philosophy. I think back to 28 and People, and the drastic difference between his life and mine, or as he would say, the difference between our ordinaries and extraordinaries, yet we both have the same bad habits and worries about the future.

Yoongi seems like a walking hazard sign for wanting more or too much, warning of it not being better and it being lonely to have “everything” you want. Considering how simple the phrase “what’s good is good” is, I have spent too long thinking about it in relation to all of this. He uses it in People when talking about the average ordinary life. In the new Break the Silence docu-series, he talks about not being able to do ordinary things like go out for a coffee or to the movies. It is once again his reminder, things are not better up there. You will still struggle. Be content with what you have. If it’s good, its good, and what’s good is good. Let it be.

This felt like a good ending note, and then I remembered Billboard asked him, “What is a line or thought you share on D-2 you want listeners to be left thinking about?“ And this was his answer:

“So what, if we live like that, so what My distinction is your ordinary My ordinary is your distinction”

I thought it was funny that I somehow ended this by talking about the one thing he wanted to leave us thinking about. Mission accomplished Yoongi.

In regard to raising questions about norms and how we live, Yoongi said he just merely wanted to raise the question mark - not provide the answers - and boy did he here. I will be thinking about this all for a while. This took me so much longer to write than intended, mostly just because I wasn’t expecting to feel so strongly about all the songs. Thank you for the art honey my dude.

#bts #bts lyrics #its 6am and now i have to try to remember my own tags #lyrics #ahna #yoongi #agust d #suga #lordt #my honey #d-2 #did i fall in love w yoongi all over again?#yes #also its not 6am anymore but tumblr wont let me edit the tags so #yoongi sampling from his own songs will be the death of me

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hallie-fics · 5 years ago

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author spotlight - still_i_fall

He wants to forget how it felt to be hers for just one second.

- remember it’s all pretend @in-my-head-i-do-everything-right

one of the most prolific writers in the hallie fandom, @in-my-head-i-do-everything-right (still_i_fall) has graced us with classic after classic. i had an absolute blast talking with her, and hope you all enjoy the interview!

q&a

Hey! Thanks again for including me in this! Very excited to answer the questions. I love talking about myself.

Favorite of your stories (and why)

I almost got stuck on this question. I really want to say remember it’s all pretend because I am so incredibly proud of that one. It was the first multi chapter fic that I ever properly finished and I feel like that really means something to me. I also really love that concept, and how it was able to fit in slowburn and enemies to friends to lovers and mutual pining plus a million other little tropes. And, most of all, it was really fun to write. It happened really easily. It’s something I’ll go back to sometimes if I’m ever in the mood to reread my own work.

But I also love this new thing that I just wrote called i just wanna dance with you. I think if I can pull it off, it could be something really amazing. I was able to write the first chapter in about a week and had a ton of fun doing it. And I really love writing Harry’s pov and just switching things up a little. Ugh, I really love the idea of hallie meeting/knowing each other as little kids and I think that’s pretty apparent in these two fics.

Easiest story to write

I’ll stop the world (and melt with you) happened really quickly which I guess qualifies it as easy to write. I thought it’d be more difficult just because so much of it is dependent on canon which is something I’m not entirely used to, but it ended up going to fast. I think somewhere I still have a page of notes on that Prom episode and everything that happens to Allie and Harry. I really wanted to include pieces of dialogue from the show.

I also think it was because I used to do this thing when I was bored where I’d think about who I’d want to be trapped in a Groundhog day like loop with and what’d I’d do. It was just this recurring thought/ daydream I had when I was younger so it’s definitely a situation that I’ve thought through a little.

Hardest story to write

The taste, the touch, the way we love has been a pain in the ass to write right from the start. Sometimes it’s really fun, but I think I’ve been sticking way too close to the outline I drew at the very start and have been avoiding writing it for too long. Sometimes I absolutely love to write it and have the time of my life, and other times I hate it. There’s not much of an in between. Still definitely want to finish it. Just waiting on that final bit of inspiration.

Pre-writing process

I’m all about doing a full outline. Usually. With most longer fics (anything I think will be over 6,000 words), I do a full outline where I plan out the progression of the fic and specific scenes and pieces of dialogue. Usually, the plot hits me all at once and is usually the easiest part of the writing process for me. From that original outline, I usually have at least a few specific scenes fully planned out with pieces of dialogue and/or exposition. For example, for i’ll stop the world I started out the planning process with the introduction piece of the fic. That first paragraph is straight out of the note apps on my phone. A lot of the time it’ll end up being a bullet point list of main bits. I’ll use parentheses to specify the tone of a scene or little details and then use brackets for things that I want verbatim in the fic.

But sometimes I end up with very little pre-planning. The skating au is kinda the only good example of this. I only had the roughest of outlines for that one (how i wanted the first chapter to start and end) and everything else just came together as I tried to get from point A to point B.

What drew you to Hallie

The potential. They could have a really great story and I think that’s fun. There’s a lot of chemistry there and their dynamic is fun and, yeah, I think I’m a little too far in to get out now.

Favorite line (or lines)/ section you’re proud of

God, I have so many. Hope you don’t mind me going through them. It’s incredibly self indulgent but also gives me an excuse to go through my old works.

From the very first hallie fic I ever wrote, how you wish it would be all the time:

“And Harry's not perfect. He's not what she wanted before this all started or even really after, but everything's different now.”

Sometimes I forget about this fic, but I really shouldn’t cause there is a solid chance that this was my peak. And this line is really fun.

From we kiss and we keep busy:

“The stars may have moved a little bit, but they’re still there, and they still look the same, and that’s good enough for her.”

I promise I’m not going through every hallie fic I’ve ever written but god I love this line.

From i saved a picture where your hair was braided:

“It’s late nights and long talks and video games and cookie dough. It’s almost kisses, then definite kisses, and then not wanting to wake up anywhere but his bed. That’s how she starts to fall in love with Harry Bingham.”

Just that last part. That last line. The rest is just there for some fun context. Fun fact: this entire little mini fic was a desperate attempt to stave off writer's block and is based entirely around that single line in the song Donna by the lumineers. Still had a lot of fun with it, though.

From remember it’s all pretend:

“He wonders when she’ll realise that this hasn’t been pretend for him in years. Probably never. (He’d still run away with her.)”

“In the back of her mind, Allie wonders why she didn’t try harder to stay with Harry, why now she can only seem to fall in love in front of a camera where there’s the promise of pretend.”

“She likes to think that they’re still friends, that they’re just friends who don’t talk anymore, two people who drifted because one couldn’t handle the idea of change.”

This fic has a million little bits that I love. I could literally go on forever. It’s just full of that mutual pining angst that I live for.

From but i close my eyes and i’m somewhere else:

“She did not mention this earlier because she was trying desperately hard to ignore it, but fuck, she’s really missed him calling her Pressman.”

“She wonders if Cassandra has any travel sized neck pillows.”

This fic is surprisingly good seeing as I don’t remember writing it at all. I was very much high on some sort of flu medication while writing this and I think that explains a lot about this fic. It’s fun, though. I really love the tone.

From the taste, the touch, the way we love:

“She starts to feel like she couldn’t avoid Harry if she wanted to (and somehow, as the days turn into weeks, she finds herself not wanting to more and more).”

“There’s saltwater in her eyes, hair, and mouth. Harry’s leaning back in it, floating. She is too. The water is blue, and warm, and the sky is clear. Sometimes his hand will grab hers just to pull her closer. When she thinks of calm, of happiness, and vacation, she’ll think of this moment.”

“They’re quiet for a moment. Maggie Rogers can be heard in the background, faded and slow. Harry’s tapping his fingers along to it on the wheel, eyes staring straight ahead. The road is lined with trees, and it all feels like home.”

“For a half a second, she thinks she loves him. She pushes that away and watches him throw wrapping paper behind him dramatically. She pushes it away and she smiles and she laughs and she tries not to think too hard about what all of this means.”

This fic definitely has its moments. I’m really excited to get the last part done and out, though. I just feel like I’ve spent too long on this fic. I want it done.

From i just wanna dance with you:

“Allie met Harry the same day Cassandra did. It was early in the morning and she was four and now, when she looks back, all she can remember from the moment is the vague outline of wild hair and a smile so bright and wide and carefree that it really can’t be anyone else’s.”

“She tries to remember that she likes skating with Will, that there’s no point in wondering what it’d be like if things were just a little bit different.”

“She lied earlier; gold, silver, bronze, doesn’t matter. Harry always looks good.”

“The first time he ever placed first in a competition, she was skating with him. He wonders how long he’ll associate the feeling of a gold medal around his neck with her hand in his. He hopes it’s not long. “

I’m so excited to finish this fic like you guys don’t even understand. It’s really fun and it feels easy to write (so far; knock on wood) and I love the concept.

What type of Hallie stories do you like to write/read?

I only write au’s just because I think the rules are little different, everything’s just a little bit more relaxed. You’re allowed so much freedom when it’s a completely different universe and I really love that. I went through a phase recently where I was obsessed with canon divergence and this whole idea of a history of contingency. Just there being these points or moments where if one thing was just a little different, everything would’ve changed. I love that and I think that’s really apparent in my drafts/ unreleased wips.

I’ll read anything, though. Especially with the Hallie ao3 page being so small. I do definitely have a preference still towards au’s, though.

How long have you been writing

For forever. As a kid, I’d fill up entire notebooks with story ideas. It was my favorite thing to do. When I was twelve, a teacher complimented my writing, and I think that really stuck with me. It’s just something I’ve always enjoyed doing.

Do you ever worry about how your stories are received

Not really. A little bit with multi chapter stories just because I really want every chapter to be better than the last. I just really don’t want to disappoint anyone.

What’s the hardest part of writing for you

The middle bits. I usually have a very clear idea of the beginning and end so it’s everything in between that I have trouble with. I think that’s why I’m so big on outlining.

Do you ever get writer's block and how do you deal with it

Oh my god all the fucking time! Right now, for example. Usually, I just try to work through it, especially if I have a project in progress. I also do a lot of reading to try to force some sort of inspiration. A lot of what I write is based on what I’m reading. I’ll also listen to music. And, recently, I’ve been making mood boards for my fics which has been so much fun. I really like looking at pretty pictures.

Biggest risk you’ve taken as a writer

Lol I don’t really take risks. I think the riskiest thing I do is post the first chapter of a story with none of the second chapter started. I do that a lot.

Favorite Hallie trope

Reluctant friends to very good friends to lovers. Also, living together without establishing a clear relationship. I write that a lot. Mutual pining is always fun too.

Favorite Hallie headcanon

That Harry calls Allie ‘Pressman’ which forces Allie to call him ‘Bingham’. I just think there’s something so fun about calling someone by their last name. Plus, then you get that moment when the first name is used and that gets to be significant. Oh, also that they both swear like sailors, but that’s mostly self-insert on my part.

This felt very self indulgent, but I hope it was at least somewhat enjoyable for someone.

I am forever waiting to read whatever @in-my-head-i-do-everything-right writes next. It was great to see some of the behind the scenes and I would definitely recommend her latest release cities you’ll never see on screen.

#the society #hallie #author spotlight #in-my-head-i-do-everything-right #still_i_fall

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clevercatchphrase · 5 years ago

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2019 year in review

So… The 2010’s are almost over. Huh. What a decade it’s been. Hard to comprehend how much has changed in 10 years. I can barely believe that I was in high school at the beginning of this decade, and now I’m a college graduate with 2 degrees who’s been working at the same job for the last 3 years. But trying to summarize the past 10 years in a single post is a good way to give myself an existential crisis, so let’s not do that! Instead, let’s just focus on 2019 because there has been more than enough shit that’s happened to me in this year to talk about.

PART 1 OF 2: 2019 AND 2020 GOALS AND RESOLUTIONS

Huh, looking back through my archives, I apparently didn’t make a tumblr post about my goals this year. I definitely had some, though. Lemme list ‘em off real quick, and then we’ll go through them point by point.

1) Pay off all my student loans 2) Finish some song comics 3) Make art for my Redbubble account 4) Finish the first rough draft/script of a game I wanted to make 5) Practice ASL 6) Sew some stuffed animals 7) Finish some fan fictions 8) Work on Ghost Switch 9) AMVs 10) Do some original writing 11) Make illustrations for my fan fictions

Okay, first off, the student loans. I was actually SO CLOSE to successfully completing this one bUT THEN MY CAR HAD TO BE A WHINEY PISS BABY AND HAVE ITS ALTERNATOR DIE ON ME WHILE I WAS ON THE HIGHWAY AND THEN A BLOW OUT THREE WEEKS LATER.

GOD, if I had to summarize this year in two words, for me it would be “Car troubles”. I swear I spent more on auto repair in the first third of this year than I ever have just freakin’ OWNING a car. All four of my tires had to be replaced, my alternator failed and my car literally just SHUT OFF while I was driving, and I was barely able to coast into a gas station. Both my front breaks and rear breaks were worn down the metal and I only learned this when my car was barely able to stop after I had to slam the petal down full force! I went in for an oil change, and they found some problems and then I didn’t get my car back for three days! I don’t even like owning a car! I hate driving! I hate my country’s refusal to provide universal, free public transportation! I NEVER ASKED FOR THIS!

Oh-kay… number 2. Finish some song comics. I didn’t finish any. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t work on them. I have made tiny progress, but that’s certainly better than no progress. One of these song comics I hope to be realizes is going to be a collab with one of my friends. It’ll be a long-time coming as it’s pretty low priority for the both of us, but if anyone else out there was disappointed with KH3’s ending, we’re gonna have ya’ covered… With SONG!

3. Make some redbubble art. I actually did this one! Not in the way I expected, but I added (technically) 3 new designs to my redbubble in the middle of the year. If you like butterflies and dragons, I got some product for you~!

Number 4, finish a script for a game I want to make. I… thought about this. I thought about this a lot, but I never put pen to paper, so… oops. It almost happened! I debated making this my main writing project for NaNoWriMo this year, but ended up having more inspiration for another story. Maybe next year? (god, I hope not. I don’t want to wait a full year just to write something)

Number 5, practice ASL. I just straight up didn’t do this and I only have myself to blame. Still keepin’ up that Danish Duolingo streak, though. 4 years going strong and not a day missed yet.

Number 6, sew some stuffed animals. Again, another one I just straight up didn’t do, but I have an excuse of trying to save money while my car crashed and burned in every other sense except literal this year. Hopefully 2020 will be different. I’ll definitely be able to pay off this last loan within the first half of 2020, and then I can start saving for whatever I want to buy.

Finish some fan fictions was number 7, and I did this! Well, I only finished, 1, but it was a story I’ve been working on for over 3 years, and it came out to over 200 THOUSAND words long, which is the longest thing I’ve ever written, and I’m quite proud of myself. Now that the big story is out of the way, and I’ve gotten into a good rhythm of working on Ghost Switch, maybe I can squeeze in some short writing sessions more frequently. (either that, or just wait for my car to break down again and then go on a writing spree in a pepboys. The lord and the fan fic discord know that’s solely why I finished my other fic this year)

Speaking of Ghost Switch, working on it was a goal this year too, and I did that! I kept it up all year and took a vacation in November and it was wonderful. While the major plot points have been in place since before I started drawing, I still need to script each arc beyond Snowdin, but hey, by the time we get there, it’ll be 2022 so I got time. (Note, don’t do this, kids. Script your stories and comics thoroughly before publishing. The road I’m on is paved with misery and pain and it will only end in tears unless I change lanes soon)

Number 9, amvs. Do people make AMVs anymore? Idk… the last one I made was... Jesus, 5 years ago? (it was a gravity falls/fall out boy crossover, if you were curious) I’ve been wanting to do 2 more for just as long, but in order for me to do that, I’d have to spend time re-watching the shows to find the footage, and then actually edit them together, and I just don’t…. feel like it. Maybe someday, but not any day soon.

10; do some original writing. I did this! For nanowrimo! I wrote the first draft of some original fiction I’ve been planning for a year or two now and it completely sucks! But it’s on paper now and I’m happy. Will I revise and edit it? Sure, but not for a while. I want to let it sit and forget about it and look at it with new eyes months from now so I can be sure I can make it better when time comes to rewrite.

11, make illustrations for my fan fics. Now that You Monster is done, I want to go back and add pictures to it. I didn’t do any this year, but I did keep a list of scenes I wanted to draw, so I have plenty of ideas to do as warm up sketches next year~ I kinda want to stream them~

So, that was 11 goals, and I successfully fulfilled 4 of them! That’s! Not a very good ratio… QmQ So, goals for 2020. Some I’m gonna keep from this year, some I’m gonna drop and some I’m gonna add. In short I would like to,

1) Finish paying off that last student loan 2) Put more stuff on my redbubble 3) Illustrate my own fan fics 4) Sew at least one stuffed animal 5) Make an enamel pin 6) Read one new book a month 7) Write one page a day/Complete at least one new fan fic 8) Learn Python or C# for the game I want to make 9) Finish fully scripting Ghost Switch 10) Boost my patreon

Most of these I think are pretty self-explanitory, but I’ll go into detail just a bit because I’m on a roll and typing my thoughts helps me feel less alone in the middle of the night when you’re super tired and you know you should probably go to sleep, but the toddler in you is throwing a tantrum and doesn’t wanna go to sleep just yet, but you can’t fight the progression of time either way.

Number 1- I should be able to reach this goal by the end of March. End of June at the absolute latest. Once that goal is met, my secret new year’s resolution will be unlocked as well!

Number 2- I want to put more art of my OCs on redbubble. These OCs are tied to the game I want to make. There’s already some art of them up there, but I want at least one piece for each character.

Number 3- Mostly for You Monster. Embrace the cardinal rule of fan fic and apply it to fan art. If you want to read about see art about certain ideas, scenarios, or what-ifs, you gotta make it yourself.

Number 4- I have 3 potential ideas to sew. One is definitely leagues easier than the other two and will probably be chosen if/when I have the time and materials.

Number 5- This year I got really, REALLY into the idea of making enamel pins. Unfortunately it’s a pretty big investment (like, $350 to make 100 pins you might not even sell). If this happens, it’ll probably be towards the end of the year, and if I get enough interest. I’m currently torn between making an original enamel pin and one based off Undertale. We’ll just have to see where this goes.

Number 6- Back in 2018 when I paid off one of my many student loans, I rewarded myself by spending over 200 dollars in used books. All these books had a theme; they were focused on dragons because I have a problem. I have not yet read a single one of these books I have bought, and I would like to fix that. I have, like, 20 unread dragon books, and even if I only read 12 out of 20, I would consider that an amazing accomplishment and money well spent.

Number 7- I currently have about 8 different WIPs I could work on. (well, I don’t know if I can even call them wips. More like, a general idea and a title written down.) I want to build good writing habits, and if I can write just 200 words a day, hell, even 200 words a week and just one of my 8 stories done, I would consider this goal met.

Number 8- I’m torn between making my game in unity or ren’py. I know jack shit about both. Ren’py is more user friendly, but unity will allow me more customization. (Lol, can you guess what kind of game I want to make yet?)

Number 9- I really just want the full story to be done and written incase anything goes horribly terribly wrong in my life and I find myself unable to continue making ghost switch in comic form. Then at least I can finish the story by other means, you know?

Number 10- It always surprises me every month when I get that patreon email saying I got paid. Sure, I don’t even make double digits on it, but it still awes me enough to know that people out there like my work enough to throw me a tip. I can’t thank my patrons enough for supporting me and I hope to one day be in such a good place I can update my comic/song comics/writing frequently enough without need for goals or milestones. But until that magical day arrives, money is always a great incentive for anything, I suppose. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ALRIGHT. PART 2 OF 2: SHIT THAT HAPPENED TO ME IN 2019

Cheesus crust what a year. This year started off great! Back in late January Kingdom Hearts 3 FINALLY released, and let me tell you a little story. Back in the summer of 2006 I was a 13 year old middle schooler with no way of making money other than by doing house hold chores at a rate of 25 cents a task. A few weeks ago, I had a sleep over at a friend’s house and they let me play this weird game called “Kingdom Hearts” and god, I was instantly hooked on it. That summer, I did over 800 chores, enough to earn myself 200$ and buy myself a playstation 2 (just in time for the ps3 to come out, gg me) The only games I had for the ps2 were KH1, 2, Re:CoM and Okami, and I beat them all… except Okami. Miffed that the PS3 wouldn’t allow for backwards compatibility, little 13-year-old me made a promise. I looked myself in the mirror and said “I will not buy the next playstation console until KH3 comes out, AND BOY that was probably a good choice for me to make with my level of gaming. I’m even less of a casual gamer than the average casual gamer, but I have been waiting 13 years for this piece of closure, and I even told my friends and family that “the day Kingdom Hearts 3 comes out is the day I will buy a playstation 4”. My dad apparently thought this was the funniest shit, because he literally took the day off from work that Friday to drive me on base to get the game and console (he thought it would be less crowded than a regular walmart, I suppose). I paid $400 on a ps4 pro while he bought me the game. Again, I have an impecible sense of timing seeing as the PS5 is now right on the horrizion, but just like before, I’m not buying a new console until the next KH game is released. See you in 2045, sony~. While I was at the gamestop on base, I also picked up Okami HD and The Last Guardian. For all of February and even early March, I took my time playing through KH3. And…! It was the best disappointment I’ve ever played. After a month away from gaming, I started The Last Guardian and finished it in a couple weeks. I love trico and would die for him, but trying to get 100% completion on that game is udder insanity. Okami, HD, however… again after a month break after finishing TLG, I started replaying Okami. I think I had only managed to get about halfway through the game before I just… stopped playing it on my ps2 version. I am currently SO CLOSE to getting a 100% on the ps4 version. In fact, I’ve beaten the game. I only (techinically) need 2 more trophies to be done; 1st, escape the water dragon without being eaten, 2nd, I need to beat that dumb stupid race with Kai, in order to get the last bead on my rosary, as well as the top dog trophy. I hate her so much. I hate this race so much. It’s awful and bad.

Flash forward to December! Earlier this month I was at Barnes and Noble, buying myself a planner for 2020. I exit the store and notice that there’s a gamestop across the street. For shits and giggles I go inside to look at their game selection, and I find KH 1.5 and 2.5. Now, my PS2 died a few years back (it just won’t read my discs anymore, I don’t know why) and I haven’t been able to replay any of my other kingdom hearts games since. If you had seen me the day I finished kingdom hearts 3, after the ending credits rolled, you would have heard me say “Man…. I wish I could play kingdom hearts 2 again”. AND NOW I CAN, ALONG WITH BBS which I had never even played yet, but knew the story of. I’ve restarted playing kh1, and I was so happy to hear that familiar music when I booted the game up for the first time. While at the game stop, I also picked up Rime and Tearaway, two games that had looked interesting to me. At the time of writing, I’ve finished Rime and am 25% done with tearaway. Rime was…. An interesting experience. I learned about it through Jacksepticeye’s channel a couple years back and thought the art style was enticing. For a super casual gamer like me, I found the puzzles just the right level of challenging and exploring was a blast! The music gave me VERY strong Princes Mononoke vibes, but the overall story left something to be desired. Overall I had fun, and enjoyed completing this game to 100%. Now for tearaway. Can I just say this game is super fucking adorable? I know the original was on the ps vita and the gameplay there was arguably more diverse and imaginative, but this game is just so fucking cute I don’t care?? ALSO, this game’s sound track is ABSOLUTELY incredible and I’ve only heard the first fourth of it! Listen to The Orchards, Pig Riding, and Gibbet Hill Pilgrimage for a taste of their wonderful beats and fantastic use of string and woodwinds! God, I’m so excited to get some more games in 2020. I’m proud to say I currently own more ps4 games than I ever did with my ps2 (and now the majority AREN’T Kingdom Hearts titles!), and I’m still hoping to play Journey, The Witness, and Abzu before everything becomes ps5.

What else happened to me this year. Oh, I went to a doctor for, like, the first time in seven years. I also had my blood drawn for the first time ever, and the nurse said the most disturbing thing to me while she did it. Now, whenever I get shots, I refuse to look. I did that here. So she thought it would be appropriate to say to me “Can you feel your blood leaving your body?” Lady… You can clearly see I am uncomfortable with what is happening here. Why, of all the things you could say, did you choose to say that. Unfortunately, while my doctor is nice, she keeps wanting to run tests on me, that I just cannot afford with my current salary, and my monthly insurance is about to go up to 200$ a month, so I’ve cancelled my next appointment with them, and don’t plan to go back until it’s absolutely necessary. Capitalism is fun, guys. Preventative healthcare is for wusses.

I started going to a chiropractor on a monthly basis. Story time- I don’t know when it started, but sometime late last November I began to notice that I had a headache that just... wasn’t... going away? And each day it was starting to get a little worse. It made it hard for me to find a comfortable position to sleep, it made it hard for me to be in bright areas or move fast. So I said to myself “Okay, if this headache persist through the month of december, then something is proooobably wrong and I should go see someone about it. And hoo-boy were thing wrong with me. By the time this January rolled around, I couldn’t even stay on my feet for more than a few hours without it physically hurting to just BREATHE. So I started going to this chain called The Joint (A+ name, I know). THey aksed me “How are you doing?” I said “I’m in pain” and they said “We can help fix that!”. I’ve only been to a chiropractor once before in my life a few years back after my freshmen year of college because I began to notice my hips weren’t able to support me? LIke, I would lie on my back, and I couldn’t push my hips up when my feet were flat on the floor. I also couldn’t climb anything steep, because my legs just couldn’t push me up if my knee had to bend more than 90 degrees when I lifted my leg up. (Turned out both my hips were apparently out of place). This time only one of my hips were out of place (which they fixed. they said one of my legs was an inch “longer” than the other because I had been leaning all my weight on one leg when I stand). But two of my ribs were apparently “Stuck” which was why it was hurting for me to just breathe, and one of my shoulders was missaligned too, causing one of my trap muscles to constantly be streched, which was pulling on my skull, and causing the headache. Anyway, after they popped all my bones back into place, I still felt terrible, but by god, that night was the first time in weeks I was able to sleep without a migrane. A chiropractor can’t magically heal your arthritis, or fibro, but I definately think they have merit to keeping your posture good and helping your body with things like circulation. 10 outa 10, would recomend. It’s all the fun of getting your neck snapped without the dying!

Earlier this month I got together with two of my friends and we baked Christmas cookies. It was a lot of fun, as well as a great learning experience. A member of my family has a gluten allergy, so we used rice flour for most of the cookies. We learned this is a bad idea! The cookies will just fall apart! A few member’s in one of the friend’s family have nut allergies. Other friend and I knew this and were careful to avoid cookie recipes with nuts, bUT THEN COMPLETELY FORGOT THAT ALMOND MILK AND ALMOND EXTRACT COUNT AS NUT. IN FACT, ALMOND EXTRACT IS PURE CONCENTRATED NUT JUICE AND WE FELT SO BAD FOR ALMOST ACCIDENTALLY POISONING THE FAMILY.

Earlier this year me and these same friends took a field trip to Hobby Lobby and just dicked around the store for a couple of hours. It was super fun, 11 outa 10, would recommend, a great date idea for your artsy S.O.

Back in May I went to a wedding for the first time in my life. (well, not true, but the first one I could remember) we left at 5am, drove 5 hours to get there, hung out at a zoo and spent the night in a la quinta before the wedding day. I slept on the bathroom floor because my mom was snoring too loud in the main room and keeping me awake, and the rest of the day was just spent me trying to keep myself together because I was pissed off and tired.

Other than all of that, nothing really major happened to me this year. I guess one more thing I’ve tried to do this year is started the process of breaking certain internet addictions so I can use my free time for more personal projects. Seriously, I found myself watching way too much youtube and following blogs that didn’t even make me happy. I had a personal intervention with myself where I sat down and asked myself, “why do you watch these videos and youtubers? Why do you follow these blogs? Do you really enjoy their content? Do you really care? If you stopped watching/following them, would you even notice?” After critically thinking it over, I’ve found myself unfollowing several channels and blogs and suddenly I feel so much happier. I thought I would miss it, but I realized I didn’t really care if I saw their content or not. I wasn’t missing much. And now I feel like I have more time to draw, read and write. If you think you spend too much time consuming and not enough time creating, I suggest you try and de-clutter your internet habits as well. It’s done wonders to un-fuck my headspace.

And… well, that about sums up my year. How are your holidays going? Anything fun, exciting, dramatic happen to you this year? I hope your new year is warm and safe! Good night, everybody!

#new year's resolutions #year in review #long post #(seriiously this think is like 3k words)

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halberdierminister · 5 years ago

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Okay I set meself some new goals for the new year. How have I been keeping up with them?

1) Write 250 Words Each Day

I have missed a couple days this month, but I have certainly written more than the equivalent of 250 words times 31 days. So while I did have some misses, I more than made up for them. This one is both a hit and a miss, but far more hit than miss. I am mostly on track with this goal.

2) Read At Least 55 Books This Year

If we are counting audiobooks, which we ABSOLUTELY ARE, I have finished ten books this month and am close to finishing two more. If I keep up this kind of pace, I will have met my goal by midyear. We will see if that happens, but I am very well on track with this goal.

3) Get A Full Time Job

I have not done this yet. But I did work two jobs all month with a grand total of two days off. I applied for 24 different jobs this month. This doesn't quite equal out to one job per day, and I certainly didn't do this every day, but that's a fair amount of effort. I worked a lot and I worked on the job search a lot. I've also edited my resume, worked on making a brand new one, and designed my own business cards. I think I am making some progress on this but it is just so hard to tell. I am working on this goal, but I do not know if I am on track.

4) Move Out

Yeah obviously this hasn't happened yet. Kiel and Steph have offered to let me move in with them in Milwaukee if I need to or if I get something there. It's so tempting to take them up on it. I might if I have no leads on the job search by the end of March, but both Kiel and I agree that this winds up with the risk that I just get stuck working at Target again. It's so difficult. And yet today, when my parents were out of the house, I hooked up my Nintendo Switch to the television and just played some video games and I also took out my ukulele and sang some dumb songs and I just felt like myself for the first time in a while, and God I just miss that so damn much. I wanna move out so fucking badly it hurts. Ugh. I will get there. I just need the full time job first. I do not know if I am on track.

5) Drink Less Soda

Well, I drank less soda. I didn't cut out soda altogether, but at least half the days, or maybe even most of the days, I didn't have any soda at all. And the days I had soda, I'm pretty sure I limited it to one, except maybe once or twice when it was two. But by and large I am still cutting down on soda. So that's good. I'm not losing weight, but that's probably because I'm not working physically anymore like I was at Target. The last two days I lifted weights, maybe I'll work out more? Either way, I just needed to cut down on soda, and by gum, I have been doing that. I am on track with this goal.

6) Get Something Published

I am going to be published in Eclipse, a fanzine based on Problem Sleuth the Intermissions of Homestuck. I finished the first draft of my fic for it this year. I also found a zine I might want to send some stuff to tonight, and I still intend to send stuff into The Green Light and Red Cedar. I don't know if I have anything good enough for Steam Ticket, but who knows? I should also submit to more places, and I have been bookmarking pages that have promising listings. I am mildly on track with this goal, but I ought to put more into it.

7) Finish Writing A Legitimate Businessman

I have written 6,654 words on this fic in this month alone. This is the most frequently I have ever updated it. It is not finished, but with every update I near the ending. Some of the endings have been as short as two or three hundred words, most have been around six or seven hundred, but at least one was fifteen hundred words, making it the longest chapter written in years. I am on track with this goal.

8) Write More The Revelation of Takaya According to Jin

I have not written ANYTHING on this fic this month. I did listen to some Lovecraft on audiobook and I've been reading a lot of poetry, so I'm gaining fuel I suppose, but I am not on track.

MINOR GOALS

9) Finish Playthroughs Of:

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild -- Success! I beat it on accident and started a new one. So this one is COMPLETED.

Persona 3 Portable 100%: I am on the last day or two. I tried fighting Margaret once this month and got royally scuppered up the barrelstopper. These sorts of super-hard turn-based battles are literally not fun. I also don't have any Armageddons and I don't know if it's possible to beat Margaret or Elizabeth without them. I don't know if it's worth it to try, but I also don't know if I shouldn't beat this and start a new game plus again. It's just……. I'm literally these two boss fights away from 100%, and I've NEVER gotten this close before. Guh. What I really need is Armageddon though. Sigh. Who knows.

Persona 1 Good Ending: Yeah I don't think I picked this up at all this month.

Pokemon Sword: I have beaten the main game and am partially through the post-game plot. It's just kinda boring at this point, but I will beat it I'm sure.

Pokemon Let's Go Eevee: I haven't picked this up this year, but I plan to. It's a fun little game. I'm at Cinnabar Island, so I'm pretty close to the end.

10) Record More Ukulele Videos

I played my ukulele a lot today?? I tried recording a song but didn't like it. I'm working on some stuff though, so I'm not doing this yet but I am at least getting started on practicing and planning

11) Record Let's Play Videos

Not even a little bit.

12) Duolingo?

I've done Spanish on Duolingo every day for 33 days straight. SUCK IT, Me from 2008.

GOALS I DIDN'T KNOW I HAD

13) Set up my turntable and listened to records on my own.

14) Added to my collections of books, amiibos, video games and movies, often in unexpected ways and sometimes at large amounts for little money. And sometimes not. Whoops. I cannot be trusted with money. Ugh.

15) Work out?? I have done so a little bit two days in a row. Maybe I can keep this up and do more. I ought to, since I'm not at Target anymore, and since I won't be at MATC for the time being I will have more free time to do so. It's worth a shot.

So I'm doing pretty well on the ones I can keep track of. I'm not doing PERFECT, but I do think I am doing really well.

This is 1250 words, by the way.

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neshabeingchildish · 6 years ago

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So, What the Heck is Goin’ On?

Last year of school and Henry had senioritis on the very first day. His, Charlotte’s, and Jasper’s calendars were linked up for senior events and work schedules, and he was anxious seeing everything on Charlotte’s plate. Stu-co meetings, yearbook committee, L.I.M.P. events, monthly ‘girl time’ with Piper (which Henry realized from now having access to her calendar that those fell upon Char’s menstrual cycle, and learned after asking about how she could bear to be around Piper of all people during said time that the two of them were “synched up” for said cycles), his birthday, holiday breaks… Wait…

Near Henry’s birthday, there were some blocked off days but he didn’t see any notes. They were highlighted, but no notes were included. Maybe Charlotte was planning something? She was good at planning. Her Ray’s Days of Fun had become excellent over the years. He wasn’t going to dwell on it. He’d just like whatever she had planned, because honestly, he’d likely forget all about this until his birthday actually got closer. She also had several college appointments, and this, that and the other… “Hey, Char… Are you gonna schedule some us time? Because the copy of our year’s schedule that I’m looking at is severely lacking that.”

“Pick some free days and enter it in. You’ve got working fingers,” she said, not looking up from her laptop, as she worked.

She had been working since they got out of school today, he just realized. “What are you doing?”

“I have a research paper due next week,” she said.

“But, school just started! How do you already have a research paper?”

“I have three,” she said. He groaned. If the rest of the school year was going to be like this, she would have very little time to spend with him! “Three research papers, two science projects, and I’m trying to make sure that I finish at least two versions of my application letters for college this month.”

“Your what?”

She finally looked up at him and gave him a sympathetic smile, “I figured that you wouldn’t be thinking about writing yours yet, so I sent you a document with the stuff that you should mention and the stuff that you definitely should not mention, for whenever you get around to writing it. I’ll revise it after you’ve completed the first draft.”

“When should I start on it?”

“Well, you should get on it right away, to be honest. The Dylexicon app has been glitchy, and I don’t want your words to be too confused and be last minute.”

“If the app is glitchy, they’ll definitely be confused. Glitchy, how?”

“Well, you know how it’s supposed to autocorrect the things that you get switched around? It’s been switching around incorrectly written words, but not switching them around properly. Several dyslexic people have complained about it, because they depend so heavily on it's assistance and can’t always tell that the words are still messed up. What you need is a top of the line voice to text app. Those are usually always dysfunctional, though.”

“What needs to happen is that if colleges or institutions, or whatever know that people are dyslexic, they need to give us an option of an in person or over the phone presentation. Why, in this day in age does anybody still have to write anything? If they just met me and let me tell them who I am, instead of me writing to them about it, they’d be a hundred times more impressed.”

Charlotte reached out and intertwined her fingers with Henry’s and he smiled at her. “Hey. Whatever medium that we have to use, you know I’ll help you out.”

He couldn’t help but melt at that, but realistically, “I mean, yeah, now… But, it’s not like you can do that for the rest of my life.”

She looked taken aback, but recovered quickly and smoothly said, “I’m almost absolutely certain that I’m definitely gonna outlive you. Therefore, as a matter of fact, I can do that for the rest of your life.” Now, he was practically gushing. She pulled her hand back and resumed typing wondering, “What are you grinning about? You should’ve already known that I’ll always help you out, no matter what.”

“Yeah, but I like stuff like you promising to do that for the rest of your life.”

“The rest of your life,” she corrected him. He smiled and laid his head on her shoulder, then moved around to wrap himself around her from the back and lay his head on her pillow of curls. She shook her head and kept typing. It was sort of like having an overgrown adorable pet sometimes.

For the rest of my life! Yeah. Of course! Henry was a little bit irritated that Charlotte hadn’t made the time that she promised to make for him. He’d put dates into their calendar and she’d change the color and make notes of why she couldn’t make it or edit that she had something come up!

Now, he and Jasper were planning on going to Swellview University’s Autumn meet and greet (which was HER idea, btw) and she had to bail because a publication wanted to speak with her about her study on relationships, availability and attractability from last school year! Which… Was awesome and he actually wanted to go with her, but she told him that he’d only be sitting in the waiting room while she spoke with the publisher and that wasn’t a good enough usage of his time for him to miss out on the chance to rub elbows with staff and students at his future school!

So, he and Jasper made plans for a little staycation in a hotel near the university so that they could do the weekend tour, the mixer, and the assembly of interested applicants and Charlotte went to her thing… Only, she didn’t.

Her location was on and Henry noticed that she was nowhere near the publisher’s at the time that her appointment was for. He figured that maybe she rescheduled or something, so when he got a break, he gave her a call. “Hey… How’d your thing go today?”

“It went well. They’re going to publish my studies in next month’s issue and they’re interested in me possibly writing other pieces for them. I’m honestly thinking about showing them my debate for the you know what talk”

“That’s awesome, Baby! When did you wind up going to see them?”

“4:00,” she said without a second thought.

He twitched a little. Was this a lie, or a simple mistake? “No, at 4, your location was turned on and that showed that you weren’t there at that time.”

“You calendar stalking me, Babe?” she joked. He was apprehensive though. Why is she avoiding what I said? She sighed and told him, “I actually left my phone behind by accident. I had to read magazines in the waiting room!”

Now, he felt relieved. He knew that there had to be an explanation. Even though… something still felt off. Left her phone behind, where? He couldn’t remember the exact location of where she had registered, but it certainly wasn’t her house. Instead of dwelling on it, he moved on. “Magazines? What is this, 1988?” He teased. He was looking at the calendar and noticed that she made sure to turn off her location, now. “So, what other plans do you have for the night? Wanna come hang out at our hotel, since you’re done with your business?”

“My business is never done. I have some other things that I was gonna finish up while you two are gone. But, be sure to tell me all about it whenever you’re back, okay? Gotta go, though.”

“O...K. Okay. Well… I love you.”

“Love you too. Click.”

“Click.” Henry stared at the phone for a while as Jasper waxed his belly. “Dude… I think that Charlotte might have lied to me.”

“Why would she do that?” Jasper wondered, bracing himself to pull the wax strip from his belly.

“I don’t know. That’s what bothers me. What could she possibly feel like she has to hide from me?” Jasper ripped the strip off and let out a loud groan as he did. Henry turned up his nose at the whole scene, but his mind was stuck on what was happening with his girlfriend.

Charlotte’s article was published and Henry bought actual copies for everyone, got his and hers framed, downloaded it on his phone, and made her a little congrats gift basket with balloons and flowers. “This is a lot,” she said, trying not to gush too much over his excitement, but honestly he was just glad that she had at least told the truth about that. She had been weirdly secretive and kind of cold with him since that lie that he was sure that she told him and he was worried that they were possibly on their last legs.

“It’s a lot, but not too much. You did something great! I want you to know that you’re appreciated,” he said. “Also, I was wondering if you wanna go half on Halloween costumes this year?”

“We’ve done team costumes before. Remember? But, then Piper got kidnapped by a monster and that kinda put a dampener on Halloween to be honest.”

“Yeah, but I meant like maybe me and you, not the three of us…”

She gasped and offered, “But, Jasper will feel left out!”

“Dude, I already talked to him about it. Do you just not want to do this with me or something?” He kind of was fussing.

“Nothing like that. Sure, let’s do it. Any ideas?”

“A couple. A few, actually! I was thinking Thor and Valkyrie, or Deadpool and Domino…”

“Henry! Those would take a lot of time to get prepared for. Why didn’t you ask me about this sooner? You know that I’ve been busy…”

Yeah, if anybody knew that she had been busy, it was him. But, yet again, he didn’t address that. “I’m gonna take care of securing the costumes. Did you have anything you were maybe thinking about?”

“I was gonna be Red, the Tethered. But, I can always use that jumpsuit as a work suit when I’m tinkering on machinery this semester, since you’ll be handling my Valkyrie battle outfit costume.”

“How’d I know you’d pick the one with the flying horse?”

“Because the other one’s belly is out,” she said and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Thanks for my gift basket. You’re too sweet for me,” she said and something in her tone worried him. What did she mean by that? Had she done something that might hurt or betray him? Was he just being paranoid???

“I am definitely not being paranoid,” Henry said as tried to convince Schwoz to hack into Charlotte’s phone so that he could rest his mind on what she was doing in those times that they weren’t together.

“You are being paranoid and I don’t want any part of spying on Charlotte. She’s the only one here who is my friend!” Schwoz said, pushing past the tall boy.

“Don’t you want her boyfriend to be secure? Don’t you want us to be happy? That can’t happen if I can’t find out what she’s been up to.”

“The moment that you let fear run your relationship is the moment you let fear ruin your relationship,” Schwoz said and finally moved past Henry.

“It would be different if she was transparent! Charlotte’s hiding something, and she is very smoothly avoiding letting me know what it is.”

“Why are you so sure that it isn’t a nice surprise?” Schwoz asked. “It’s Charlotte. When has she ever done something bad to someone?”

“I made a checklist of the suspicious stuff that she’s done in the past couple of months. I didn’t include every single instance where she rescheduled things, but some of the lies I’ve suspected, and this one here… She said to me, in a pretty weird way “You’re too sweet for me.” What did she mean by that, huh? Huh? Who ever thinks that I’m too sweet? A guilty conscious, that’s who!” Schwoz rolled his eyes and left. Henry continued to try to spy on his own. He was so into it that he didn’t hear whenever the elevator opened and Jasper and Charlotte caught him trying to hack from the control panel.

“I’m sorry, what are you doing, Henry?” Charlotte asked. He let out a tiny scream and tried to clear the screens of her logins and his failed attempts. “Are you… investigating me?” She asked, angrily.

Jasper commented in a low voice, “I tried to tell you that he was on to you.”

Henry stood up out of the seat and it slid when he did. He approached with his arms folded and nodded his head, “Yeah, I’m on to you, alright. One doesn’t pay obsessive attention to detail in order to impress his observant intellectual sweetheart and not know when deception is afoot.”

“Okay, cool,” she said and walked passed him. She logged on to her accounts for him, left the on the screen, opened her phone and handed him that, and pulled out her Pearpad, to do the same. “I’ll be up in the store. Let me know when you find what you’re looking for but were too chicken to just ask me about, like a big boy.” She slammed the Pearpad into his chest and punched the elevator button with fury. He whispered ‘ouch,’ but then rushed to check out her accounts.

Jasper wondered, “Are you kidding? You’re not gonna chase her and apologize for what was clearly an epic fail on your part?”

“An epic fail? Mr. Told Her I Was On to Her? I’m gonna get to the bottom of this.”

“You’re gonna lose Charlotte. I’m gonna go tell her that you’re so upset that you can’t think straight and try to salvage this, since I’m somehow the one with the clear head right now.”

Henry didn’t find anything and Jasper was right - Charlotte was pissed. Now, empty handed and honestly embarrassed, he finally asked, “What was it that I was noticing, if it wasn’t something going wrong?”

“Me being busy, maybe? Me having a lot on my plate. Me literally trying to complete my senior year and get all of the accolades for my graduation sash as I can?” She clasped her hands together and wondered, “Henry… If you can’t trust me while I’m here, how are we going to make a long distance relationship work for the time that I’m not in Swellview? If you don’t trust me when I give you full and complete access to my calendar and my life, how will you be confident that I’m not doing anything wrong whenever you can’t see me for weeks at a time?”

“I can… But… Are you honestly telling me that there’s nothing, ABSOLUTELY nothing, that you’re hiding from me right now? Nothing that you’ve been hiding from me for a while?”

“There IS something! Because you love surprises and I wanted to bless you with a few - for your birthday, for Christmas, for the end of the school year. Henry, I have to put things together whenever I can and I don’t want to ruin surprises for what could be the last special days that we spend together in a while. You think I’ll be able to come home for your birthday when the college semester is in progress? You think I’ll be able to spend whole holidays at your house when I come to visit my parents? I’m TRYING to make sure that everything goes as perfectly as possible, still keep some mystery and excitement, and do all of that while maintaining a perfect GPA and looking like a whole snack!” She folded her arms. “And to be honest, you not trusting me, and to go as far as to try to spy on me when all you had to do was ask if something was going on… That’s a deal breaker, for me, Hen.”

He felt his heart sink. “No, no, no, no…” He collected her hands into his and nodded his head, “Okay, I should have asked and if you’d told me all this, I hope that I would have let it go. But, please… I made a mistake. We’re more than sweethearts. We’re best friends. Adjust the deal, for me. I’ll never do anything like this again. We usually have great communication. I think I got a little possessive and insecure after we… you know what… and you even said in your research that sometimes, teenagers react and respond differently than they feasibly would have after taking that step.” She fought a smile. “I’m getting through,” he noted and smiled at her.

“Don’t ever make me feel the way that I did whenever I caught you snooping on me. I felt like you punched me in the heart. I’m not supposed to feel that way about you and if it ever happens again, I don’t care how cute you are or how gentle your touch is, I’m gonna walk away.”

“Deal! I’ll never do it again.” He gave her a tight hug and she sat there against his chest for a while.

“I’m exhausted,” she admitted. “I’ve barely gotten any sleep lately trying to get your birthday gift secured.”

“Hey, if we’re good, I don’t care, Char. As long as we’re together…” His phone made a notification sound and he checked it. “You’ve been approved for a birthday Spa Ship reservation?” He read out loud.

“Oh, thank God!” Charlotte cried out. “That removes one thing from my hectic schedule.”

“Spa Ship??? Are you kidding???” He cheered. “Those tickets are virtually IMPOSSIBLE to get, Dude!”

“With the right one, anything is possible,” she said. “I just felt like you rarely have time for yourself. Even on your birthday, Ray has been known to put you to work, and since the Spa Ship will have a fall tour, you could enjoy a spa getaway on the sea and step into 18 with comfort and tranquility.”

“I can’t believe I thought that you, a literal perfect freakin’ angel was up to no good.” He kissed her on the forehead. “What can I do for you? You haven’t been sleeping well. Want me to I don’t know… I feel like I should do something.”

“Walk me home and give me goodnight kisses?”

“I always get the best parts of our deals!”

#henry danger #chenry gifset #So #So What the Heck is Goin On?

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