#kinda stuck irl too but that's another story

[purenonsens]

Another year older today!🌷

Wish I was able to draw something, but my brain was (still is) a total wasteland lately. A barren land. I try to reason with myself it's a time to rest and gather inspiration reading, watching and researching stuff, but you know how it goes - still frustrating. Pls wish me to get some of my creative juice back again soon 🥲

[jellybeanium124]

pathetic vent post lol

so the thursday before last, one of my coworkers told me she's quitting bc she got a job in the field she wants to have a career in. I was happy for her and told her so, but I also felt kind of sad, because she's a woman close in age to me and I've been thinking we could be friends if I wasn't technically her boss for a little while now. so finally near the end of our shifts (we were closing) I buck up and ask if her she'd want to exchange contact info and stay in touch and hang out after she left.

and y'all she looked so happy and excited to be asked that. absolutely 0 hints that her delighted response wasn't genuine. so she puts her number in my phone, and even takes a silly picture for the contact pic, and I send a test text and she responds to confirm it's her correct number.

on monday I text her about hanging out later in the week, with ideas. on tuesday I text her again, with new ideas if she didn't like my first ones. I didn't mean to double text two days in a row.

nothing.

I wait till yesterday and send her one last text, explaining that I really do wanna be friends, I am more chill outside of work and she's only seen Work Nina if that's what she's worried about, but that I don't wanna bother her.

it's been over 24 hours now, and nothing. part of me wonders if she changed her mind and blocked my number.

it's just really disheartening because I've had another person string me along and then not respond/continually cancel on me pretty recently. after my college friend group broke up thanks to the serial sexual predator (which is a whole nother story, dw he didn't do anything to me, in fact he refused to talk to me the first time we met when I introduced myself and tried to make polite small talk, and I realized several months later that he didn't engage with me at all because he didn't wanna fuck me 🙃) things have been kind of dire in the irl friends department and it's sad and pathetic and I thought finally here was a girl I really connected with, and she liked gossiping with me at work, and she seemed really really excited at the possibility of being real friends with me, and then nope... not a single response to any of my texts. zip nada zilch.

it's just hard... I was basically socially rejected by everyone in my film program at my uni, then I finally started to make friends at the jewish club and a serial predator with an apartment full of guns who sells stolen lego sets on ebay and does cocaine ruins that, and then I'm at work and now that I'm a manager I'm the boss of most people there and I wouldn't be close friends with most of them anyways and the one girl who I think I could be really close friends with fucking ghosts me after I was brave enough to ask if she'd wanna be friends. it's been like five straight years of rejection for me. I always had friends in k-12, I wasn't a "popular kid" but I was well liked among the venn diagram of gays, nerds, theater kids, and band kids and I had a lot of friends in high school. I don't fucking know what happened. and now I'm on meds that are finally giving me energy and happy chemicals so I wanna go out, I wanna do stuff, I wanna walk around, and I don't wanna be an apartment slug anymore but I don't have anyone to do anything with and there's only so much fun you can have by yourself. and I'm still too shy to go to a bar alone because I know I'll stand in the corner paralyzed by social anxiety. I'm trying bumble bff rn but I'm so shit at responding to people and I kinda hate myself for it and I'm trying to do better but I keep not responding to people for too long and yeah maybe my ex-coworker is stuck in that cycle too idk.

oh yeah and the whole past year of antisemitism makes everything worse because I'm deeply realistically afraid that any goyim I meet are going to be hateful hamasniks <3 so that's a fun lil bonus.

jesus man... idfk. it's just shitty. it's just fucking shitty.

[dawns-laboratory]

Been a mix of "7 Days to Die" and "Palworld" together with dad, or "Astroneer" with a friend (Hi, I know you'll see this, we have to continue that someday soon when I have energy)

And then I've been playing "My Time at Sandrock" quite obsessively the last few days. Both because I want the story, but also because I just find the character interaction soothing. Also because I want to get through the story so me and the same friend can play multiplayer together. ...Mostly because I want the story, since Multiplayer doesn't have it in the same manner.

I'm just going to ramble below the cut, but TL;DR:

I'm okay, just low on energy. Likely not eating well enough and sleeping schedule is a mess because of stress.

So this will be a bit about me just gushing, and also just my thoughts and feelings. It's more me wanting to talk to the void, even if I get no reply. It's soothing in its own right.

I won't go on too long about this specifically, but I believe I mentioned having broken up earlier this year. Specifically my previous relationship ended early December 2023.

I still don't feel okay from that, my self-esteem is... Not doing well. If anything I feel a bit scared of entering a relationship in the future because of how hurt I feel, and especially because I have such a strong sense of "I am not good enough". So some days are harder than others, but I'll be okay.

But I've kinda realised now that I have... Not really gushed over characters as much. Not really allowed myself to feel much regarding those, felt guilty almost. So Sandrock has been soothing, as I've allowed myself to bit by bit just sqee on the inside because the interactions are adorable.

...Also me having felt guilty to have to turn down a confession from one of the NPCs, like damn did that hurt- But the NPC I wanted to meet hadn't appeared yet and I didn't know who I wanted to go for. I'd say I'd have to do another playthrough and go for the other character, but at the same time........ I'm very stuck on the character I'm with. An odd sense of safety that I once used to have, it's nostalgic. Soothing, even. If I can find that again in a person irl, I'd be happy.

But currently I'm happy as is with my plan to just adopt a lot of cats when I get a better living situation. Become the crazy cat lady. Frankly- I'd probably be happy just living with cats if anything. I'm okay with that future, it's a good one.

And that's me being genuine because I can't see a better future than having a bunch of cats to cuddle with like come on

Cat person, through n through lmao

...Maybe I can get a cat to call Galby after the antagonist of the Eragon books called Galbatorix- Hmmmm.

[shares-a-vest]

💖 Fic Writing Review 2023 💖

I was tagged by @penny00dreadful @rocknrollsalad @cranberrymoons and @unclewaynemunson Thanks everyone! You all smashed it in 2023. Here's to more words wording and fun fandom times with our faves.

Tbh, it took me a good month minute to work out how to do this, seeing as I don't post much to ao3 (something I intend on mending in 2024). I'm very much going with the 'feel free to show whatever stats you like' aspect of the rules.

But before all that, I'd like to use this post as an opportunity to acknowledge everyone who enjoys my writing. I kinda just fell into writing in this fandom and discovered that I love it!

I'm also sending love and appreciation to my beloved moots and everyone in the stwg discord server. Here's to another year of creating, sharing and interacting 💖

This fandom really is my happy place a lot of the time, a much-needed creative outlet and a space where I can talk to people who let me be my silly little old self.

I have so much I want to write in 2024 (including some in-the-works stuff listed below). One goal I know I have in 2024 is to write what I'll temporarily title, 'The Origin of Joanie Munson'. I would really like to knuckle down and write a looonnnggg fic this year that would tell that story.

Anyway, enough of me talking, I'll stop before I get too sappy...

Top 5 Posts by Notes:

Wayne and Claudia to Steve's Rescue

I'm Dating Garfield

My Prince

Eddie gets stuck in Steve's shower after the power goes off

Eddie Munson: Sparkly Vampire Boyfriend

Proudest Work & Reflections:

Wayne and Steve get hearing aids: This post was very much inspired by my pop's ongoing struggle with his hearing aids. HoH Steve is a beloved headcanon of mine so I was happy to receive so much love for a little ficlet that came from a very real place.

Steve spends Father's Day with the Buckleys: If there's one Steve trope I will write, it's Steve Has Bad Parents™. I always find myself writing this trope and getting Steve all sad and angsty as a personal coping mechanism/outlet for irl Dad Stuff™. I was a pile of goo over the tags and comments saying this ficlet resonated with readers! We really are just out here projecting onto our blorbos to get through shit.

Joanie Munson's First Word: I love my Joanie Munson AU. And one thing I love writing into it is Wayne being a doting Grandpa. It was a WIP for quite a while and I remember waking up at like 3am, unable to sleep and bam I finished it, proving that sometimes it's worth letting something linger in the drafts until the moment strikes.

My Fandom Events in 2023 (I did a sprinkling of others, but these I completed/worked on consistently):

Spicy Six Fanworks Challenge SPRING and SUMMER

Steddie Week 2023

Steddiemas

Upcoming Works & Events (aka, next in the pipeline):

Spicy Six Fanworks Challenge WINTER

Clarkson Mixtape Fic

STWG Hozier Project

Tagging some precious moots (plus those above) to send my love and good New Year vibes to! @thefreakandthehair @tboyeddie @steventhusiast @imfinereallyy @hbyrde36 @spicysix @momotonescreaming @withacapitalp @farahsamboolents @hellion-child @sidekick-hero (also feel free to do this tag game too if you'd like/haven't already!)

Rules: Feel free to show whatever stats you have. Only want to show Ao3 stats? Rock on. Want to include some quantitative info instead of stats? Please do this. Want to change how yours is presented? Absolutely do that. Would rather eat glass than do this? Please don’t eat glass but don’t feel like you have to do this either.

[scoobydoodean]

i’m trying to write a s15 fix it fic and i’m kinda stuck on what the ending for heaven should be. along with other smaller details i have figured out, i know jack’s not gonna be god, and neither will amara, but that means heaven can’t keep functioning as it has been, smth needs to change. i do have a few ideas, but i’m interested in what someone like you, who has a much more comprehensive knowledge of spn than i do, thinks. like how you wish the ending happened (other than dean living ofc), how you wish they handled the cosmic consequences of taking out chuck?

and ofc i won’t like steal your ideas! i’m just looking for inspiration and another perspective in order to flesh out my basic ideas

Well... to be honest, when I read fix it fics I often skip the world building aspects surrounding "new heaven structure". Honestly I'm more the kind of person to feel that part of the fun of fic is not having to do complicated world building and getting right into the character-oriented portions of the story. 😂

As far as my own wishes: I am a HUGE proponent of an open ending for Supernatural. Because Supernatural is about a battle between the concepts of Free Will and Destiny, and the final season, in particular, is about an evil author/god writing the characters lives, I feel the only narratively satisfying conclusion is one where even the irl author sets the characters free from their vision (after a certain point—obviously we want to have our fun and set the characters up for success). This is a HUGE issue with the actual series finale in my mind—that it attempts to write out the entirety of the characters lives even into eternity, entombing them in the author's vision with absolutely nothing left to the imagination when this show was MADE for a "ride off into the sunset" style ending because it's about free will. 15.20 simply was not that—it was far FAR too intrusive.

I mean to be totally honest because of its negative narrative significance, I kind of think heaven should simply implode. I think it would be very cathartic for everyone involved. The Winchester's provided (imo) an excellent landing pad for a fully canon-compliant fix-it fic where Dean once again tears apart the script. And yes—to me heaven is still someone else's script in 15.20, whether that was the authorial intent or not. Even if one isn't "Chuck won" truthing, one still has the line, "Cas helped" in 15.20—meaning that at the very least, Cas and Jack are trying to write paradise. They are trying to write The Future. (I discuss my criticisms of that here). This is also why the summary for my own WIP fix-it... looks like this:

Castiel abruptly drops the cassettes onto the kitchen table in a clatter, barely avoiding Mary’s morning coffee. “I need help understanding your son.”  Much to Castiel’s consternation, Dean… isn’t happy with the heaven Cas and Jack have designed and built for him. If that wasn’t clear enough from his preference for universe-hopping to alternate worlds over spending time in the heaven literally designed to be his personal peaceful paradise, or his in turns defiant and despondent attitude when grounded (read: when he hasn’t quite figured out how to chew through the plastic of his “cage” yet again)… it would be impossible for Cas to miss the fact that Dean will barely speak to him. Instead, he afflicts Castiel with one-track cassette tapes. 

On a symbolic level, to me, heaven in SPN represents false paradise. It represents Free Will losing to Destiny. It’s a hopeless, helpless, ultimate: “No matter what you do, you will always end up here”. Even if you succeed at defying The Man in life, you will ultimately be forced back into a heaven where someone else’s vision for your life plays out for the rest of eternity, sold as "paradise". You will always end up back in The Beautiful Room. The afterlife doesn't have to be conceptualized that way, but I think the "new" heaven in 15.20 still heavily misses the mark for me in this regard, especially given the surrounding context.

All of that said, in a more general sense, I think what you do with heaven in a fix-it fic really depends heavily on what relational/emotional themes you're exploring in the fic. For example, say I want to write a fic where Dean reflects on his life being full of responsibilities that were too big and how this deeply warped his sense of self-worth. Say though that I largely explore Dean's feelings and reflections on this through Jack, in the present, cracking under the pressure of being expected to be God. A narratively satisfying ending to that fix-it might intentionally leave the question of what exactly becomes of heaven an open question, because the catharsis in the end is that it isn't Jack's (or anyone else in TFW's) responsibility to figure that out. To have Jack say "I'm trying so hard to make everyone happy everyone wants me to make paradise and I don't know how and I'm drowning", and for Dean to say "You don't have to make paradise. You don't have to do any of this. It isn't your job." Could be a very emotionally poignant conclusion to a fic that focuses on that theme.

I wonder if taking even a further step back would also help? By which I mean: the concept of a heaven as a whole, or hell, or purgatory... they're all assumedly of Chuck's design, and while that doesn't make having four afterlife locations (including The Empty) inherently bad, it also doesn't make make for inherently good design either—practically or ethically. The angels were having trouble keeping the lights on upstairs as their numbers dwindled, Purgatory is an absolute mess (think about where Garth and Bess and their kids will end up...) The only place possibly doing okay in the end is Hell, under Rowena's rule. Death had lots of concerns about balance between the various afterlife areas and I actually think it would be hilarious to give Death... 4.0? a heart attack by just being like "Well... what if we just got rid of some of these places? What if we were trying to stay upright and balance on a seesaw instead of on a ball that can turn in any direction? Do we really need a separate afterlife for monsters? Can heaven and hell just both be in the same place and Rowena and a few other people run it?" Though the need for a new Death could also mean... a new one comes in with a new idea about how to structure the afterlife, but then you also have to ask yourself how intricately you want to detail any of this. If your primary goal is to build the most comprehensive possible fix-it fic that addresses any conceivable question a reader might have about the new reason of the world, then you might finely detail the new concept of the afterlife. On the other hand, if you're more interested in exploring an emotional theme, it might make sense to have whatever happens or doesn't happen with heaven symbolize or relate to an emotional/relational theme within in your story.

Idk that was very rambly sorry I hope it helps a little with brainstorming!

[possiblyi4657]

:o woah an intro!!!

For the longest time my pinned was a reblog that i really liked, but i may as well try to be More Social or something and actually say a bit about myself! introduce myself to the world outside my little void!

So heyo! The name's Icey, also known as Tora I4-Icey, aka the fellow who lurks in the shadows and only posts on socials every once in a blue moon, here to try and actually exist despite my awful social anxiety!! They/them, 19, and uhh everything else important is hidden under a wall of text so hopefully you like reading?

I have a variety of interests, and I'd like to consider myself an artist, through i mainly draw my ocs (I'd like to change that! I just need to get over my anxiety about messing up other people's character designs first lmao). I also really like editing videos, and of course there's my always present appreciation for the one and only Baymax. Though from the way this tumblr has been going, im preeettyy sure all youre getting here will be my minecraft builds or mcyt reblogs with a side of original content. I have no clue how i keep on returning to this little corner of the internet year after year, but I can't complain much 'cause minecraft is a pretty fun game!!!

oh also here's an unfinished drawing of my sona alongside two other pieces of art i drew of my little guy!

Aaannd now that all the important (?) stuff's finished, here's some questions i'm sure at least some people have (and one friend asked me that i thought were kind of interesting)!

- "So what's with the name?"

My online friends call me either Icey or I4, depending on where you met me. And the name I go by irl is Tora, so i threw all three names in a blender and Tora I4-Icey sounded the best! There's also another name i go by in ffxiv- Ira Icey, so the folks i met over there call me Ira, but I couldn't figure out a way to add Ira to my name.

- "And why's your username a string of numbers?"

Funny story! Back when I was around 12 or so, i kept on forgetting the password to my library account, so my dad changed the password to "4657" and told me to never forget it, cause he's not changing the password a 10th time. It then became my favourite string of numbers, and 4 became my favourite number. I then changed my minecraft account name from "Iceyshadow46" to "I4657", as i hated typing in that username every single time i wanted to effect myself with a command, and somehow I liked that name enough to adopt it as my own! Alas, I am aware the username makes me look like a bot. I'm not changing it, ive stuck with it for this long, and if the bots want it so much, they can pry the name from my COLD DEAD HANDS-

- "Wait, where did the "possibly" part of your username come from? Why possibly?"

I may possibly simply be I4657, also known as Icey, I4, or Tora. Or i may be a cat. Or a squirrel playing a harmonica. You shall never know, and i shall neither confirm nor deny. (read: i4657 sounded too much like a username a bot would choose on here and id rather not get blocked by people assuming (wrongly) that i was a bot.)

- "Why's your sona a glitchy shadow eye creature?"

Fancy lore explanation: As ive been mostly lurking, rarely interacting with anyone on the internet, i kinda pictured myself as nothing more than just eyes, watching others juuust out of sight. But since one can't just look like a blob of eyes and shadows if they want to interact with humans, I stole borrowed the form of a human. Minus the fact that this form (usually) only has two eyes, leading to my lack of spacial awareness, its pretty comfortable. As for the glitches... I don't really have an explanation for that yet.

Actual answer: I had a vision and I thought it'd look super cool. AND I WAS RIGHT!

And I think that's it! I am really, and i mean REALLYYY bad at social media so chances are ill disappear from the face of the earth for days at a time. but ill always come back with something. or at least, ill try to. :D

[narwhalandchill]

having terminal narwhal brainrot is kinda the worst actually bc. sometimes my brain just gets Stuck on all these tiny things and observations that are Very Funny Indeed but also like. i have no actual clue whether its Intended to be significant at all in terms of implication or if im just losing it but its rent free either way and its not going away like. take this one for a completely coincidental example i definitely havent had swirling around my head rent free for like the last 3 weeks nopers no way uhhhhh

so act I of fontaine AQ right???? first narwhal mentions we get from childe in the story???

"it" right?? which like fine yeah makes sense. mysterious massive eldritch sea creature wouldnt consider that out of place for a choice of pronoun. in no small part prolly due to ajax just taking after skirk in terms of how she refers to and views the narwhal. its not rly carrying any connotation of personhood and/or sentience purely in terms of the language used

Now. if its such an unsurprising choice. why am i fixated on this

WELL. lets say purely hypothetically. wouldnt it be like. really funny if after Multiple languages. explicitly went for a non-human moniker when it comes to childe speaking about the narwhal. that he would then like. possibly. the Second they make actual direct and personal telepathic connection with one another. pull a complete 180 on that. in like act III mayhaps

"someone" calling him??????

Like. isnt it Interesting. that he went from "it". to IMMEDIATELY assigning explicit personhood to whatever originated that whalesong call.

Its telepathic connection. Right??? like these mfs are Literally in each others heads. right??? and yet. Somehow. PURELY off of that call that single moment of fleeting impression and feeling that gravitational pull towards one another. youre Instinctively assigning sentience personhood and character to that voice. Huh

(so based and narwhalpilled ajax i knew you were a truther and an ally)

and like what makes me fixate on this so much and not just go oh its prolly nothing is just. they didnt HAVE to write it that way right??? they couldve made it "something calling me..." . or even for intentional ambiguity something like "i hear a call somewhere..." . but Nooooooo its. someone. they made ajax go from "it" to "someone". in the exact span it took for him to make direct metaphysical contact with his narwhal.

obviously like. yes ive made my case against the "lmao dumb pet that overeats" misconception Many Times Before for obvious reasons bc thats My beloved and theres Plenty enough canon material even excluding this one to very much suggest the narwhal is indeed a fully sentient immortal being capable of complex thought i just. for ajax of all people to seemingly note that so instinctively the moment they make contact as well............

yeah let me scream real quick thanks im just. HHHHHHHHHH these 2 kill me irl

and NO its not just english i triple checked. like first i checked german and that shit goes from es/etwas to jemand. non-human to explicitly person-specific

(beyond the obvious. whale as a masculine noun)

& then w chinese obviously not a speaker but i took the same lines from project ambr, got the translation and pinyin with google and as long as im not missing sth huge and/or wikipedia isnt lying about how chinese pronouns work. its explicitly non-human 3rd person to very much person-specific interrogative "who" too.

so like. that sure is a very specific and curious choice to make with the writing. multiple times. in multiple languages. when there very much were Multiple very easy ways to write it Not in such a way. for the one (1) guy with undeniably the closest and most personal bond to the narwhal. to say That. in response to its call. its just a little bit of an inch resting detail to have. just a bit

yeah ajax mister im actually going to need you to explain this one to the class as well in addition to all the OTHER shit you have the audacity to spew thanks

[mechazushi]

Nothing serious, just a me thing. (I'm just stressing over bullshit, don't read too hard into this)

@bluevelvetea

@iceclew

Hey, sooo, um... I don't really know how to go about this so I'm just gonna say it.

Bluevelvetea has extended an invite to the Kn8 Discord server and Iceclew keeps saying that me and Her? should do a shared canvas thing? together and there's also someone on Ao3 that offered to make fanart for me and wanted to hit them up on Discord or somewhere else and....

I am very well aware that I haven't said anything about it, about saying that I'd love to or putting forth an effort to make that happen because...

I've... never had people to do that with. I've only had one irl friend so far and ever since i've graduated early and she went off to college, she's been ridiculously hard to get a hold of. She has shitty connection, she has a history of being broke so she has to sacrifice things on occasion, and she lets text pile up. I send her several texts over months and then when I DO finally catch her at a time where she can text me back, she'll drop at a random point in the conversation without telling me she left and I can't get a hold of her for another month. It doesn't help that she lets me do all the talking so I hardly know anything about her at this point.

My parents are next door neighbors and they come over often. I can't talk to my mom about things i'm into because she calls them "Irrational" and "Not useful" sometimes. I love talking about White and Nerdy things with my dad, but we can't really talk about the things we like in front of mom because she has this weird thing about hating listening to others talking and can't take it when me and dad talk about anime or a new reddit alien story he found. He can't catch up on things we both like because Mom gets on us for being on our phones too much and since he's around her more often than me, he just kinda stuck between gaming, helping mom around the house, or on his phone (He's out of a job right now because he's been in recovery from his second knee surgery, but mom wants the both of them to get jobs soon and for me to get a different one)

We love her, Its just she's a really big, "Gotta keep doing useful and important things" Kinda person? Not into sitting on asses and watching shows for too long. Really likes home improvement projects, does that make any sense? I can talk to her about things, but the only subject I feel like I can talk to her about are medical oddities or advancements, something her Scabble Go partners did, or how shitty it is that we're stuck in this town that we're in and can't do anything she considers fun, which is leaving state boarders and going ANYWHERE ELSE. She constantly wants greener pastures and the only thing that gets her to stop focusing on how monotonous her life feels is projects. Anything fanatical or imaginary she deems not worth the time and I feel like she judges others who enjoy that. I think the reason why her favorite genre of movies/shows is sci-fi is because it's escapeism crossing with potential realism. At the point in time where average citizens can escape their problems thanks to science and head to the stars, is where she would be happiest and that's the only thing she can get out of shows.

Anyway. the point is, I've never met people that wanted to talk to me about things I liked and gave me more options to express myself and my thoughts to others who might feel the same way. Being able to meet others who can do things I can't and being the person who inspired others to make something I can only literally dream of has been a kind of a bucket list item for me. I never thought I'd get to meet people who felt friendly enough with me on the internet to go out of their way to make art about something I've thought about without me having to pay for it or have chances to talk to others about something I've thought about and get responses about it back.

I definitely thought I would be on here for, like, another year or something before people would talk to me, let alone just... make something I spoke about into existence. Which is great, but it's also kinda scaring me a little. I'm one of those people that's afraid of change and I have a horrible habit of backpedaling to my comfort zone, even though it's supposed to be something that could be beneficial.

I'm probably blowing this way out of proportion than I should be, but not telling you guys about whether or not I want to join makes me feel like I'm unintentionally ghosting you on the subject and it's been eating me alive slightly. I feel like I've just been casually handed something I thought I had to earn and now that I have it, i'm chewing off my own hands over my own fear of the responsibility I think it comes with. I seek power only to cower from it once I have it. (anxiety sucks, doesn't it)

Another big thing is that I despise giving out my email. I hate dealing with it, I hate acknowledging that I have one, why does everything need to have my email just let me at the thing I want- *ahem* and apparently Discord falls under that. I've always wanted to have discord friends, it's was another shitty bucket list thing, I just never thought that I could be given the opportunity to do so and well.... you just read how I felt about that.

I've might have also given myself decision fatigue over "If I DID have Discord, where should I keep it?" I have a phone, I almost had to install the app anyway because I've been recently visiting a D&D group at a time where our Dm is having to telecommute at this point in time (We settled on a different solution and used someone else's appliance) But Mom is already on my ass about "Being on my phone too much" and "Its old, I should get it replaced" and "When are you going to do something different with you're life". And I don't know where or how to use this "Communal Live Canvas" Thing Iceclew's been asking me to try, but if it involves art, I draw better on my phone.

But If I put it on my laptop, where I keep my Tumblr access in, I can regulate how often I'm on the site. Mom doesn't know about my account (I think? She's seen the password for it but hasn't commented on why I have it? I'M NOT GOING TO TELL HER ABOUT IT. last thing I want to ever hear about is a lecture) But the decision cycles back around to "If I put it here, do I want to bite the bullet and sacrifice potential quality over how I could express my thoughts even though I have next to no artistic talent."

I guess I should go about this like a rational person and ask questions, but at this point I don't know If I'm just hunting for excuses to procrastinate.

I know this is hella long but I just thought I'd let you guys in on why haven't said anything on the subject and my head-space on why I'm like this, even thought this is probably just stupid and I'm overreacting and I don't want this to seem like a cry for help or anything. It's just that I'm so super thankful for meeting you two and how both of you really like listening to what I say and I'm just kinda overwhelmed at how easy this was. I honestly thought it would be harder to make friends online and I'm just reeling a little and in a kinda "Deer in headlights" mentality right now.

Blue, I'm very much aware that you said "No pressure" on the discord thing and I appreciate that, this is just how I am. I treat every minor decision like I'm the government, Taken six months too long with a shit ton of paperwork that could have just been settled as a gentleman's hand shake.

Ice, I really like the idea of working with you on something, but you might have to elaborate on how that works before I can feel okay enough to make a decision. I have a lot of irrational fears over things and exposing myself to new mechanics on the internet is one of them. I'm working on them, I just need Time and the universe hates it when I ask for it, that's all.

[justapixelthing]

Rant about how to make OOT Zelink work with TP Link being a Farmer

I had this rant stuck in my head at work so I have to get it out or I'll explode!

So child timeline: Malon has a thing for Link but Link has eyes for Zelda and kinda has to break Malon's heart. So what does he do? As Link trains to become a knight, he meets a guy (an OC I have yet to present) who seems perfect for her. So he sets the two up and they become a couple. Link works his way up the ranks and becomes a royal knight, eventually also getting a honorary noble title (those do indeed exist). And once Zelda is queen she can do whatever she wants and marries Link. Besides Link literally has the mark of the gods (triforce on his hand) in a religious Kingdom like Hyrule. I doubt he'd be just a simple peasant. Not to forget to mention the warning of impending doom.

So Link and Zelda have multiple children and so do Malon and OC.

One of Zelda and Link's children ends up falling with love with one of Malon and OC's children. The ZeLink child eventually decides it wants to leave the royal duties to the siblings and moves to the farm to be with Malon's child (giving up royal life is also a thing that happens sometimes IRL, most recent example being... the kinda messy one of Harry and Meghan). ZeLink child x Malon/OC child create the bloodline that leads to Twilight Princess Link being a farmer. There are definitely at least several generation between them. I've seen people mention that the 100 years between OoT and TP was a mistranslation and it's actually hundreds. Can't confirm for sure but makes more sense considering how vastly different Hyrule is.

So that means: TP Link is: A descendant of Link, Zelda and Malon. It's basically a second generation MaLink through their children. Sure it is a lot easier to go the Malon and Link end up together route, but as long as Nintendo never confirms MaLink, It's pretty valid to go another way with your headcanon. That does make TP Link and Zelda veeery distant cousins, but so distant to the point that they can't really be counted as related if you want to ship them. (If you don't want to ship TP Zelink, them being lost cousins is also a cute story.)

Also kinda fits in with the Hero's Shade armor. It looks like no other armor of any other knight. Maybe it was a royal armor? I do think the Shade acts more like an old mentor, than a young man, so I think he probably died in old age and got buried with his armor, or fell in battle when he was an old man and no longer as strong (bc let's be real hero of time + hidden skills? He must have been a beast in his prime time). If his children were a mix of royals and a farmer, no wonder he wouldn't have taught them his skills. Or they just didn't want to or weren't fit for it. And ofc Link would still lament not being remembered as hero. It's not about being any hero but the hero of time. No matter how many people knew about it, no one would be able to relate.

Long story short: Oot Zelink is possible with a few extra steps. BUT MaLink wouldn't be a bad couple and I see nothing bad in people who like them. I just forever prefer ZeLink over MaLink because to me the romantic implications are too strong. I feel like Nintendo originally wanted ZeLink to be the main focus (Miyamoto saying he sees Zelda as Links girlfriend) but accidentally made MaLink a strong possibility by making TP Link a farmer. But that's just my thought. The TP Manga does try to retcon this quite a bit.

Anyway, as long as nothing is put as canon, every ship and head canon is perfectly valid and this is mine. :D Pls don't fight over things like fictional character love interests. Adding a fictional story to a... fictional story is no crime. It being open for our interpretation creates a lot of diversity and I like that.

Sorry for the long rant! Edit: Or just have Malon Zelda and Link in a poly relationship :D

[wingsofachampion]

OOC Ask: This is such a cool idea! What made you think of something like this?

OOC

Ooooh, this is a fun question!

Alright, so this is a bit of a long story, so I'll put it under a Read More.

So, I'm in this Pokemon fanfic writing community known as Thousand Roads, and sometimes we do events there known as "exquisite corpses". Basically, someone writes a section of a story, another person continues writing that story, but only gets the last few sentences of the previous section for context, and so on until we have a goofy incoherent mess.

About two years ago, we did an exquisite corpse with the theme "Sinnoh Journeyfic". I was starting it off, and I wanted to do PMD stuff, so I decided to write a section about a Tropius from the PMD world becoming a trainer in Sinnoh.

Even after the exquisite corpse finished, the concept kept bouncing around in my mind. Plus, after spending so much time with other trainerfic writers in Thousand Roads, I kinda wanted to try writing one of my own. And with all due respect to the Pokemon-as-trainer fanfics I've seen out there, every single one I've seen uses very humanoid Pokemon as the trainer.

Eventually, after the beginning of a RP where I tested out writing this Tropius character some more, I started writing the fic where Tropius is from, In Tandem. The setting of it changed quite a bit, from Sinnoh to Hoenn to Paldea to Hoenn again, but it still remained the same at its core: A story about a PMD Tropius becoming a trainer in the human world. And that's about when I made this blog, though it started as just an askblog.

Meanwhile, in another server, I was RPing a few OCs in the mainline Pokemon world. A group of online friends known as the Gilded Gaggle of Goofs. I actually have a pkmn irl blog for them at @gildedgaggle, which I need to get back to sometime. Anyways, I started wanting to use them in a story, too, so I decided to use them in In Tandem!

As such, In Tandem became a story about a PMD Tropius becoming a trainer in the human world, and the friends she meets on the internet. Sound familiar?

When I received a suggestion from a friend to join them in participating in pkmn irl, I initially just used gildedgaggle for it. Then I started to experiment a bit, using a now mostly-defunct blog for a Pokemon professor-in-training who was stuck in the PMD world, before deciding to convert this blog, wingsofachampion, from a full-time askblog, into a hybrid askblog and pkmn irl blog.

Of course, I haven't done a lot with the askblog aspects lately, I should really get back to doing that more, but I digress.

Tropius' story was a perfect fit for pkmn irl. Here was this online space that was like it was from the mainline Pokemon world. What better place to put my character from a story about making online friends in the mainline Pokemon world?

Plus, pkmn irl is fantastic practice for writing online interactions in the mainline Pokemon world, and for developing Tropius' character more. It's a huge source of inspiration for In Tandem.

Most of all, though, it's just a lot of fun! Pkmn irl is extremely fun, even if it burnt me out for a while earlier this year. It's so much fun to have Tropius form friendships and bonds with other characters here, and I adore stuff like the found family she has with @friendball-irl. I love writing Tropius, and this is a perfect space to do that.

...this became a lot longer than I expected, but I hope this answers your question!

Also, if you have the time, I'd love if any of you were to check out In Tandem, or any of my other Pokemon fics. It'd mean a lot to me! In Tandem is still only on its second chapter currently, but I'm working hard on chapter 3!

With the obligatory self-shill out of the way, I want to say thank you. Thank you to everyone who's following, has followed in the past, is checking this post out a while after I posted it, is just checking out this blog for the first time, anyone who's looked at this blog and thought, "That's cool".

Tropius still has many more adventures to go, so I hope you'll stick around. But even if not, thank you for giving this blog a chance. I was so worried this blog would flop in pkmn irl due to being both heavily rooted in PMD, and run in-universe by a literal Tropius, but I'm overjoyed at how much support I've gotten. It means a lot to me.

Thank you for reading.

(Art by Gravemind)

[thelost-in-time]

OMG THAT REBLOG IS SO TRUE

I don't write anymore though bc I lost motivation and I'm busy trying to get my average back up to a 95% for gold honor roll 🤓☝️

Understandable honestly. But also that also strengthens the point too? Like you have to focus on grades (which is a good thing ahe I hope you manage to get your average up to where you want it 🫶), and that's like one of the things that happen irl?

But also, I think sometimes school does also kill the creative juices 😭

Btw I've got a mini rant in the tiny text, so just a heads up, might delete the mini rant when I'm calm again.

Like for me personally was last year when I had work and stuff and I still had people in my inboxes like "When's this coming out? When's that coming out?" And I'm pretty sure I had in my rules that I do in fact have a life and cannot write stories all the time. And that just demotivated me so much because there was such a rush and high demand for fics and not enough reblogs and other interactions. Like even with my blog, people only came to my inbox to ask about fics and not interact with me as a person, which got really frustrating and kinda in a way invalidating because een though I was going through stuff, it felt like all people cared about were the fics. I'm not saying I expect people to come to me and ask if I'm okay and blah blah blah, but it would have been nice to have interactions since it felt like I was just a free labour writing machine to everyone. I didn't want to beg for interactions, but that's what I ended up doing, only to stay stuck in the empty void because readers want their content for a simple like and not sharing it. And another thing is that I wanted to do something nice and make people happy through my fics, but not lose my sanity doing so. I used to love writing, but after all this it just pushed me so far away from writing that what used to be my biggest comfort feels like a heavy burden on me.

[s-el-fships]

oh, oh!! you ship with elysia? i'd love to know about your ship with her! if you're okay with talking about it of course c:

hi hi sure!!!

i'm not 100% sure what you mean so i'll give a general overview, i suppose!

elysia was really the character that made me decide i wanted to play honkai. in one of the group chats i'm in, someone posted pictures of her and i was super taken by how pretty she was! pink is one of my favorite colors, crystals and flowers are such a lovely aesthetic, and i have a biiiit of a weakness for elves haha. so it was kinda love at first sight!

when i finally got to meet her in-game i was so excited and just immediately felt this sense of... warmth and safety. i didn't know a ton about her story yet but i knew i was going to enjoy learning!

of course the more time i spent doing elysian realm (and when i got hoh:e!) i just... really got attached. hearing her voice made me so happy and she was just so pretty and lovely to look at, and so sweet! she's been on my bridge since i got her, and i keep the special bridge design from her event up so we match, since there's no real customization outside of emblems and such in honkai. (i keep the flame-chaser emblem on my profile as long as the game allows me to)

as for our relationship itself!! she's so nice spending time with since she's such a soothing presence. i've been thinking lately about how much fun it would be to just... go places together! she's been joining me for my uni classes lately actually which has been nice! i'm not sure if she finds the material interesting, but it makes me happy to share a passion of mine with her.

i'm thinking of the kinds of outfits she might pick for me, but i don't have a lot of clothes that are her style unfortunately :/ i'd love for her to help me choose outfits though, even if it is just to embarrass me a bit! i know she means well, and seeing her smile makes me so happy!

in self-insert terms, i tend to have a daydream about myself being a fairly normal, average person living in a world where my f/o exists, and for some kind of circumstance to bring me to them. i've always felt like i was overly average myself, so i often think that if i lived in a world with magic or something i'd be something different, maybe more special in some way? though in the honkai-verse, i think my only real "special" thing might be better-than-average honkai compatability? ultimately i'm very average irl outside of my General Weirdness, so i like to indulge wish fulfillment and the like a bit in my daydreams and s/i stories! i know i'm not special, but it would make me happy to get to be something special, y'know?

in some way i wind up recruited to meet elysia and be trained by her. she never tells me why i was chosen, but makes hints towards it. we spend time together, talk, have tea and the like. but of course i get to practice my combat skills with her. eventually she reveals the truth to me-- that she's the first herrscher, and she's seeking a successor-- someone who can take her stigmata and protect the world, too. just because she's long gone doesn't mean her wishes for everyone haven't stuck around.

of course if we stay in the honkai-verse things would end up rather sad, but... there is quite a lot of time to imagine our relationship in that verse! recent content shows my ideas weren't too far off from what would wind up happening (mei looks amazing as herrscher of origin!) but i think that even if my s/i wasn't chosen to be the inheritor of her power, she'd still be happy for all that i accomplished and how much i grew. <3

for the two of us in the real world, i'd have a lot of fun introducing her to all the things in this era. i think seeing a world where humans never had to face the honkai would make her happy. we'd send each other positive news stories, find nice quiet places to sit and talk together, and just in general find ways to brighten one another's days.

i really like having her around. she makes me so happy, and i hope that i make her happy too! <3

miss pink elf my beloved!

[theheartlandsblog]

How did you come up with Adrik? He seems very interesting and stoic

hullo, anon! =)

this is gonna sound SO nerdy, i'm 100% aware of how nerdy it sounds, y'all can go ahead and mention how nerdy it is, i get it. but honestly? adrik started as literally just me wanting to learn to read and speak russian. ('T᷄⌑T᷅) from there, i wanted sincerely to create an outlet for that learning desire, in a way that A. was historically plausible, and B. was as nuanced and NOT stereotypical as possible!

more detail on all that below the cut, if you're interested, and willing to read a lot! thank you for asking about my darling boy! <3

i think i have always enjoyed just learning on my own terms, anyway. i had atrocious grades in high school and was abysmal in my japanese classes, but as soon as i got out of formal schooling, i started getting VORACIOUS about learning. yes. yep. i know it's nerdy. i'd always wanted to speak another language besides english, and i still do, which is why i study both russian and spanish, just cause i want to. so that's where it started - wanting to learn the language.

as all good writing projects begin, it started getting serious one day in the shower, i think it was shortly after or shortly before i had published my first complete RDR fanfic (the name is DUST, it's a little out there, but i am dearly fond of it), i was thinking about writing in general while i was in there, and thought to myself well, wouldn't it be interesting to write in a different language?

then i started reading the works of cormac mccarthy, an american author whose works are thoroughly bilingual in spanish/english, and it FASCINATED me. i'd published 2 RDR fics at that point, i think? and i started committing to language learning. i started with spanish in my fic called SAND (also pretty out there, again, just a warning) but i quickly remembered how i wanted to learn russian too. so i started researching on if russian immigrants came to the united states in the 1800s, to see if i could theoretically include the language into an RDR fic in a realistic manner/presence; to my utmost joy i absolutely could, and the thought-project took off. ;)

he stuck around as a stored-away project until i got the idea for HOMEWARD, i think that was late 2022, and THAT idea came to me while i was replaying the mission where you fetch john from the mountains in the beginning of RDR2. i'd never made an OC so detailed before and i wanted to ensure that whatever home of thought and writing he'd be born into would be properly big enough to house him when he got older. i didn't want to just throw an OC in willy-nilly! in the meantime (fair warning, i'm about to get a little preachy) i'd been inspired character-development-wise by creating someone who was an antithesis to the usual stereotype over in the united states about a russian person, or just kinda russia in general. you know, kind of a drunkard, loud, unintelligent, cruel. i wanted someone who felt like a real person, who was a victim of circumstance, who had an unlikely friend and a vast soul, someone who, like you said, was interesting! i'd decided on creating a russian character before the whole terrible war escalation broke out, but when it did, i think it made me even more determined. i mentioned it in my last ask but i'm ukrainian from my dad's side, so it's a matter close to home.

so, anon, that's his IRL backstory! it's how him and i met. <3 as for him, as a character, his story? i actually have a chapter in HOMEWARD planned for just that! now, though? the time has not yet come... (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧ but i can tell you a little. <3 he's forty-two years old in 1899/during the current events of HOMEWARD, and he was born on january 6th, in 1857. i call him "old" all the time only because with the life expectancy of the way he's lived, he's ancient. he's five-feet-eleven-inches tall, and he met annushka in the old country. he's stoic now, like you said, and standoffish as a general rule, but there is so, soooo much more personality in him that i pinky-promise will come out as my story progresses and as he settles in. he's had a brush with scurvy, a run-in with the law, and once upon a time lived upon the longest river in russia. him and i are very eager to tell stories. Вот он! Спасибо <3

[achillean-knight]

Sorry to bother ya, but, when does this take place?

https://www.tumblr.com/achillean-knight/738485575236124672?source=share

I'm asking cuz it's not really clear. Is this happening IRL? Or is this happening in Cassie's mind? I'm saying this because I saw another post where you told your version of events to an anon who shared plot points with you, and you said that Cassie has fully succumbed to the virus. Is this a hallucination Charlie is giving her as a chance to fight the virus back? If so, that'd be interesting.

G'day!! Ty for the ask! Not bothered at all tbh :D This is sort of a long reply but I hope that's ok.

YEAH I never truly touched upon this, huh? WELL this lil comic is happening while she's unconscious after the elevator incident (after the mimic and all that jazz.) She puts the mask on before the elevator nearly comes to its end- kinda like how one of the paths you take in the mimic chase, you arrive at the Fredbear cutout and put the mask on for some reason. I like to think it's to escape the reality of the situation and what's going on around her to calm herself down, y'know?

However, in the mask she's kinda stuck in a purgatory-like state. She can't take her mask off irl, due to being so badly hurt that she can't move, so she's stuck in this sort of dream/digital purgatory where Charlie's spirit resides.

You remember the FNAF 3 minigames, where you can find hints and secrets to get yourself the happiest day minigame? I like to think Charlie's spirit can enter digital realms like that, as she is pretty much manifest at the end of the happiest day minigame where you see the sprite with the puppet mask give cake to the Golden Freddy kid.

Along with that, in Help Wanted 2, you can find the nightmarionne plush in a variety of minigames, the lobby and even Princess Quest 2, so I took all that and made a Haven for Charlie to reside. It also represents the tree with the graves you see in Pizzaria Simulator + the tree you see in one of the FNAF 3 minigames :> (I forgot which one, I think it's BB?)

But yeah, after that little side tangent (I'm sorry, I rlly wanted to explain that too HSHSHSHSB) it's a place for Charlie to protect the MCI, and she decides to take the chance to protect Cassie aswell, to prevent the chance of the Glitchtrap virus taking over while she's unconscious. What happens after is... Well, I'm not sure BSBSVSVSVCSCS

I'm still plotting the story out, but I want to go the 'Cassie becomes the next Vanny' sort of route, because like alot of my AU, I'm incredibly inspired by a sort of theory? Plot idea? I saw in a video (which also inspired the different head for the Blob SBBSSB) I should really link all the videos that got me coming up with ideas for folks to look though, huh?

ANYWAYS, SORRY FOR HOW LONG THIS IS, I love discussing ideas and such for my AU!! So thank you again for the ask 🛐 If I missed anything, or you have question, lmk!! I'm down to answer!

Also, this comic, the puppet one, takes place a fair bit into the AU. I created it BC I was too impatient to wait to get up to this part JSHSBSBAV I'll HOPEFULLY illustrate the situation better when the comic catches up!

[letstrywritingmaybe]

Starting to think me being productive is the reason for my sports woes, so maybe I should stop writing. Meanwhile I finally wrote snow on the beach for midnights. I’m gonna chill for real though and read my books I got from the library that I haven’t touched yet

Update: I know I said no writing. But I just have to note googling lawyer from reading through emails to make sure they’re not divorce lawyers as an idea. Group chat convos that are not fandom related can also lead to great inspo

Update 2: still very much stuck on this ship and got no reading done. It hasn’t even been a full day. Good news is I wrapped all of my Christmas presents! And I have no desire to write so I guess I’m still going strong on the no more writing and see if that ends my sports woes. Will still be doing my regular updates though. And while I’m here, I reread my green card au today and it’s so self indulgent, I’m so happy I wrote it. I was kinda stressed while writing it and I wasn’t super happy with the ending at first, but when I went to reread it today I was like you know what? This reads like a shitty drama, and I’m okay with that. I mean I used to watch terrible dramas all the time, and I liked some of them. They can’t compare to the really good ones, but they have their moments. So yeah. I’m glad I wrote it and included American references cause it’s what I know

Update 3: I know I have no business saying shit cause I’ve written it before, but idk if I could see them cheating tbh. At least not in canon, which kinda gave me an idea that’s semi similar to a fic I read before… but I digress cause I’m still on my own writers strike. I think I’ve been ruined by the summer series and the vampire diaries, I’m really not fond of brothers fighting for the same person. Even if that person is my queen, it’s just so messy! So awkward too once you get past the initial stuff that people find intriguing about love triangles. Best case scenario in my eyes will always be the person they fight over doesn’t choose either and the brothers are cool again. But that never happens. I’m very family oriented so it just makes me sad to think that it fucks everything up. I know I’ve written about messy ship drama, but I don’t think I’m fond of reading it. Even when I’m writing it myself I’m kinda just like why is this happening? I don’t enjoy the process, but sometimes the story calls for it. Cause my fics write themselves and have a mind of their own. Idk I would just rather it be a non family member fighting for my queen. Plus in the context of shinshi versus CoShi, shinshi wins every time for me. I like when they both take the antidote or they both stay as their shrunken forms. I like when they’re equals. It’s literally the reason why I’ve never written a ShinAi fic despite it being popular. I hate the idea of it. I’m such a hater of the canon ship that I hate them even getting a shot for like ten years while my queen doesn’t get to move on. That’s so unfair. I would much rather she get to date and try and fall in love with other people too, instead of just waiting for him to turn around and realize he loves her. *sigh I just read some fics and I’m having mixed feelings, so I’m venting here cause I’m not an asshole who says mean shit in comments. Easiest way to get on my shit list is to hide behind screens and spread hatred, we get enough of that irl

Update 4: I was onto something about not writing to end my sports woes! My pens won!!! And we scored TWO Power Play Goals!!!! And a shortie!!! And it was big Jeff Carter!??!!?? Alright, I guess I should never write again. But to celebrate I will probably post the last chapter of devour so I can wrap up another wip

[runthepockets]

This is just my personal opinion so take it with a grain of salt, but the idea that you need to be fully, 100% understood by another human being to be loved or respected by them is kind of stupid. It's definitely essential to read books about experiences you don't have, and to stay up to date on the news, and to diversify your circle so that you're not stuck in an echochamber of homogenous thought and yes-men, but at the end of the day no one knows everything and as long as you're a decent listener / mindful person I think that's fine. I think this belief is one of many reasons the TERF obsession with framing suffering and otherness as unique and exclusive to womanhood and the trans men who try to justify themselves to these TERFs by laying out their whole life stories and medical histories are all just losing in a rat race.

Yeah, maybe as a cishet dude I wouldn't know what it feels like to get catcalled, nor would I know how it feels to be someone else's property through church and marriage. But like. So what? I honestly don't know what these things feel like as a trans man, but I have befriended, dated, slept with, worked beside women irl and seen enough women online who DO lay claim to these experiences and have had enough in depth discussions about rape culture and marriage as an institution in my presence as a result to know that it makes people feel shitty and pissed off and kinda scared, I DO know that the concept of a stranger running up on someone and using abusive / inflammatory / targeted language is rather creepy and offputting, and I DO know that even if I've never been in a serious relationship with a man, I've had a boss and parents, and I've hated when they've felt entitled to my time and micromanaged all of my behavior and I've hated having to live up to all their meaningless rules just to get money food and shelter. I still pay attention to the world around me and how people interact with one another out of a genuine interest in humanity, and I think that's all I really need.

At the end of the day I'm human and I don't like seeing other people suffer. Anything done in the name of love or helping other people feel a little less lonely or scared feels like a necessity to me, not a chore, even if I can't fully wrap my head around it cus I haven't experienced it firsthand. I think as humans we need to embrace our differences just as much as our similarities to fully appreciate each other, too much of one or the other is an injustice. The fact that this puts me a "world above" other dudes who date and fuck women is kind of mindboggling to me. The bar should be raised. This should just be standard behavior.