#lost rambles

[a-little-lostmoon]

Currently thinking abt Jingliu’s story quest, spoiler’s ahead beware —

I’m thinking about how much of an impact Jingliu’s torture had on Blade and how fucking devastated Jingliu must’ve been to go through with it. I’m thinking about how Yingxing must’ve still been reeling from the new effects of the abundance and his possible regret and grief for ending up as the very thing he hated and swore to fight against—

I’m thinking about the way Jingliu must have chased him down after hearing or- or seeing and experiencing them attempt that resurrection and feeling utterly betrayed by two of her closest friends— two people who were supposed to be Baiheng’s closest friends— (How could they do that, how could they do that, how could they do that?!) —and swinging her sword, the Shard Sword (the one he made— the one he gave to her), at him mindlessly and hurt, with the intent to make Yingxing feel the same way.

I’m thinking about how Yingxing must’ve first felt when he died — the first taste of nothingness to cleanse him of the utter agony of devastation and grief, and then the horrible feeling of everything when he was resurrected again. I think about the way Yingxing, so open and honest, feeling so deeply, must’ve ley out a sob when his chest began to heave again. I think about the way Jingliu must’ve watched with tears of frustration and agony shining in her own eyes. (You did this to yourself. I failed by not stopping you but you and Yinyue-jun were the ones who disgraced her memory first — you have no right to cry like that!)

I think about the way Jingliu must’ve made a conscious effort to destroy his hands— his pride and joy, the ones that made the Shard Sword she turned against its creator. I imagine her throwing it on the ground after the first— or one of the first few of his many deaths, telling him to “Rise” and “Stand” to face her, forcing him to fight over and over again living over a hundred deaths as punishment for what he did.

I think about the way ‘Yingxing’ must’ve slowly died in this process of hours or days of endless torture and punishment with his heart as an artist splayed out and destroyed, flesh bared and heart unbeating as the artist in his mind marvels at the beauty and fantastical agony that became his existence until he no longer thinks; mind rewritten with Jingliu’s preachings of “The three who must pay the price.” and her merciless sword techniques and lessons. I think of how Yingxing, the existence that he was, had truly been killed and warped in all the suffering Jingliu imparted on him — and I wonder how they could ever mend that bridge again.

I think about Jingliu stopping only after the hundredth death as now Blade stands on steady feet with muscle memory from the past nth deaths until Jingliu turns her back with her final lesson and parting words; satisfied, but not fulfilled, by the way she’s carved her presence and regrets into Blade’s mind and body irreversibly. I think about the way she spared ‘mercy’ to him by leaving him astray and to escape the Xianzhou and Luofu. I think about the effort it must’ve taken Blade to chose aimless wandering over eternal sentence… or maybe that too had been Jingliu’s choice.

I think about Jingliu, walking away with nothing but white noise and mara screams, echos of the past, filling her mind until her body gives out from restless days of fighting Blade, forcing onto him the punishment she so strongly believed he deserved — because she couldn’t rest until the lesson had finally set in, what kind of teacher would she have been if she had? I’m thinking about the way her body collapses to the ground like a puppet cut from its strings with no one to catch her and no one to see her at her weakest as she mourns for everything they once had but can never have again because of what they did. Because of what all of them have become.

And finally, I think about the reports that must eventually reach Jing Yuan at the divine seat of foresight. I think about the way he must feel; knowing one of his friends is irreversibly dead and the other three have torn each other apart in that grief. I think about how destroyed he must be, choosing between his duty and his lovers— but finding all too much fault in the choices they made and the suffering they have caused. I think about the decisions he would have to make and the punishment he’d have to invoke on Dan Feng becoming Dan Heng in spite of his emotions, because he is the last one left. And if no one else can remain on the Luofu then he must be the one to carry their memories.

I think that the High Cloud Quintet are irreversibly scarred by themselves and by each other, and I wonder how they’ll ever be able to mend things.

[lostinflorentine]

I think the computer has already spoken with Alice. I think she knows exactly what's going on and that knowledge is dangerous; what knowledge does to a person.

I like to think she is still at this job to dissuade people from going down the wrong rabbit hole.

I personally think she is trying to keep people safe. Keep Sam from becoming another doomed computer program.

[ask-lost-and-her-muses]

I would like to personally thank the Sims 4 WOW CC community. Thanks for accidently making horns I can use for my Homestuck Sims 4 world. Not all of them are perfect for my OCs horns or canon horns but they are close enough for my little 'tism brain.

[thelost-in-time]

Back in my day, smut/nsfw works were called lemons. And if it wasn't a full on nsfw scene and was only suggestive, then that would be called a lime.

[lostplanetvoltia]

If you knew nothing of Sonic lore, you would think Shadow grew up in the post apocalyptic Crisis City and Silver grew up on the Space Colony ARK

[lost-side-blog]

Still doesn't affect me, dude. Tumblr Live is banned in my country and I have an old version of the app.

[introvert-slushie]

Currently thinking about how much Ford tries to hide his hands a lot when he can…behind his back with this stance. Due to how often he’s been bullied for it.

And also, how Mabel is one of the ones who Ford feels happy about showing his hands to because she thought they were cool looking upon first shaking his hand, instead of him being judged for his six fingers.

[ID: Gravity Falls screenshots. The first three are of Ford with his hands crossed behind his back. The last two are of him shaking hands with Mabel, and letting her paint a turkey on his hand. He's smiling in both. End ID.]

[midnight-coffee94]

No single line has ever wrecked me as hard as this one from the Good Place and I think about it constantly

[lostshots]

i was too screenshot happy and now i hit my image limit for the day

[northernfireart]

i can't find the original post of this idea but im obsessed completely with Sam Reich! Master

upd: The original idea was by @ace-whovian-neuroscientist!!!

[a-little-lostmoon]

holy shit i just finished watching the first last of us game and… the temptation to make a zombie au for twst — curse my damn hyper fixation impulses!! I’ll definitely do more httyd au stuff—still need to post the rook one that im v proud of but m a n

[lostinflorentine]

Since people love The Magnus Archives and know of the Stranger.

Do you think the fear of not recognizing your loved ones is in there? That you might wake up one day and there is something wrong. And it isn't in them, they haven't changed even an iota in the physical sense.

But you no longer recognize them.

Those familiar curves of their smiles and eyes are like a stranger. You could not pick the people you love out of a crowd because you no longer recognize anything about them. There isn't even anything as dramatic as blinking or closing your eyes.

Just one moment this person who you habe memorized every iota of, familiarized with their ticks and flaws, and suddenly it's all gone mid-word.

Anyway, I feel that way when I drive down roads I have been a thousand times and suddenly my brain erases the knowledge of the turns. They never come back either, you just learn how to carve out new lines in your mind.

[ask-lost-and-her-muses]

Look at my pet cat!!!

I don't post about her much but I love her so much. Also she is the reason I'm taking an art break.

[thelost-in-time]

Instead of live posting my reaction to the genshin quest, I've accidentally live reacted in my friend's dms. Tumblr please add a delete one single message and not the whole chat button, thanks.

[misteria247]

Broke: Pacifica only bullies Dipper

Woke:

They bully each other

[cavalierclavier]

When I broke the cycle, I made sure that the tear was rough. You carry a part of what should be her, and she carries a part of what should be you.