#kinda proud but kinda disappointed
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Y’all guess what I made
I hope you enjoy cuz this made me cry like 5 times it was so hard to make what the hell
#haven’t slept in 24h to finish this#kinda proud but kinda disappointed#can’t blend still#??#art#yea#assassination classroom#assclass#karma akabane#gakushuu asano#asano gakushuu#karushuu#incorrect assclass#akabane#akabane karma#karma
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A Defense of Benny Gecko
Benny is more of a capable leader and person than people give him credit for.
Seeing as no one challenged his position as head Chairmen for 7 years and even then he only loses the position if he’s caught, killed or forced to leave. Yes, it’s also likely House wouldn’t have allowed him to be killed but he sure as hell would of found a way to remove him if he was causing too much unrest within The Tops power structure. Even Swank and Tommy don’t outright dislike him and more so are concerned with his recent secretive and shady behavior, emphasis on recent.
Taking all we know into consideration, Benny likely knew the future direction that he wanted to take Vegas but was so caught up in the plans to acquire Vegas that he didn’t think of how to make his dream a reality. Something he admits to in canon. I see this being used as the main argument that Benny doesn’t know what he’s doing at all but I see it more in the same vein as you can’t really plan something from nothing. The transformation of Vegas is a sensitive thing that he can’t really work on until he has it. The only reason he ran to the Fort prematurely is the Courier who was causing so much of a stir he would’ve likely been found out much faster, making all that planning for nothing if he didn’t take that chance.
Benny is careful (well a lot more careful than he is regularly depicted in fanon), the Courier being able to trace him was dumb luck on their part and his hair being noticed at the Fort is a realistically small oversight that even Caesar is disappointed in because he admits Benny got farther than he should’ve been allowed by his legionaries. The fact he can plan an ambush on the Courier or tries to quickly and concisely clean up lose ends that don’t lead back to him shows he’s not just acting on impulses or in the moment decisions. Or rather he’s quite good at thinking them out, whether they work depends on how you play really. This is all to say it’s 100% believable that Benny could lead an independent Vegas (house was basically setting him up to do that). If he had known explicitly that House was setting him up to replace him, he likely would’ve bought more time by getting in closer, learning more of the system to then flip House’s edge to his favor. Again something he was doing already but likely without the knowledge of House’s feelings on him personally.
No matter what, Vegas’ future was tied to Benny; House’s plans for him, having to get the chip and if he had somehow succeeded. It’s also interesting that of all the people vying for control of the dam/Vegas, Benny’s plans are the only ones actually oriented towards a new future, not a recreation of something long past.
#something something despite going against you Benny has the most in common with an independent player#he’s just like an asshole and also knows when he’s no longer in the driver seat so he leaves it to you#cause despite all his lame traits Benny got supper far in his plan and likely could’ve done it if the courier never got involved#if he didn’t have the need to run to the fort he would’ve waited to learn what the chip did and then made a more direct plan but when a big#clue to what he’s been up to cough the courier cough came he had to throw caution to the wind#this is sorta related to why house chose Benny and his plans for Benny cause likely the rest of house plans were gonna be#about getting Benny to adopt his ideals and views on Vegas before testing whether Benny could run it like him#and would’ve likely been proud of all the planning Benny did for Yes Man if it wasn’t for it being against him#all I can imagine is like Benny being more disappointed than anything with how house decided to run things and he holds nothing personal#towards house this is a necessity as house will never give up control kinda like bingo but I feel like Benny at least respected Bingo#something something bingo could’ve been a father figure making killing him more of a reason Benny would go against house cause he murders#a potential parental figure thinking it’s what he has to do for the betterment of his tribe only to feel like he led them to stagnation and#a longing for days gone by cause the guy who filled ur head with glittery promises ain’t sparkling no more#and makes the resistance to a parental house make more sense#fallout#fallout new vegas#benny gecko#benny fnv
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Charles Leclerc & Sebastian Vettel x Scuderia Ferrari
This lust is a burden that we both share Two sinners can’t atone from a lone prayer Souls tied, intertwined by pride and guilt [x]
#formula 1#f1edit#charles leclerc#sebastian vettel#sebchal#i know it's not perfect but after working on this on and off for like two weeks..... i kinda just want it out there ngl#seems fitting now with that q1 exit for charles in barcelona 🙃#anyway THEY ❤️😭 every year the parallels get stronger and stronger#so many proud moments but equally so much pain and disappointment#the lyrics immediately made me think of them 😭#fun fact charles had a cover version of this song in his discover weekly on spotify literally like last week??? 👀#i see all 😤#*#*mine: gif
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Dark Cream Week Day 4: Sweet Lie/Bitter Truth
dark cream week by @zu-is-here
and the pictures only :)
#dark cream week#dark cream#cross sans#shattered dream#for today‘s prompt I panicked and lost my mind!#I‘m so sorry this is the only thing I could do#i had like 3 other ideas but they would‘ve taken so long#i‘m kinda disappointed i could‘ve done better#like does this fit the prompts at all??? stars if I know#shattered dream x cross#cross x dream#dream x cross#shattered x cross#cross#shattered!dream#… but at the same time I‘m also a bit proud. I also like what i did#but it isn‘t as visible :‘)#i might re-do this day#my artsies
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pathetic men with thick eyelashes please save me
#i drew an oc for the first time in years and im kinda going crazy#ummmm lalala#i need both me and him dead clean shots#16 yr old me would be both proud and disappointed in current me rn#okayyyyy
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AP SCORES RELEASED IN A COUPLE DAYS IM SCARED
#vammieposts#ap tests#im pretty sure i failed ap lang seeing as I DIDNT FINISH ONE OF THE ESSAYS HOLY SHIT#but ap world was kinda easy#but i cant be too optimistic or else ill be disappointed if i fail#if i believe i failed noth tests and i succeeded at one then HUZZAH ill feel really proud#thats my secret >:))#also anyways ap test scores dont relaly mayter#like if you succeed you save money and dont have to take that class in college#but youll provably learn more int he college class tbh#and just the fact that you TOOK a difficult class looks great to college and makes you feel VERY POWERFUL#a low score on a 3 hour long endurance test doesnt show your knowledge of a subject yk#it just shows how good you are at school and not melting your brain out your tear ducts and ears
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#unimportant thoughts#my Dad bluntly asked if I was gaining weight in an accusing tone tonight#and even though my stomach hurts with hunger and theres a box of my favorite seasonal doughnuts in the house#i csnt look at them without my stomach turning over with disgust and revulsion at myself and my body#I wish he’d stop fucking monitoring his kids bodies like that#he does it to my sisters too#but he’s done it to me ever since I stopped competing and training#and i feel keenly his disappoint that his ‘athlete’ ‘fit’ son he was so proud of is just another average guy with a little belly now#and i struggle with that enough myself without him constantly on my ass#anyways#im fine#im sure ill feel better in the morning#but tonight just kinda sucks#ed tw#food mention#starving tw#I don’t know the fucking tags dude#ana tw#tw ana#i dont have an ed but i dont wanna trigger anyone who does
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I’m so sad I was so sure I was gonna get all As this semester but it’s looking like I’ll still end up with one B 😭😭😭😭😭
#THIS HAS HAPPENED FOR LIKE THE FOURTH SEMESTER IN A ROW NOW!!!!!!#I just want all A’s PLS 😭😭#but then again. it’s not the end of the world LOL#and I’m also still kinda proud of myself bc the class is bio so#anything above a 75 is a win for me LOL#literally the only reason I even got through this class was bc of Prozac in all honesty lmfao#so a little disappointed but it’s not the end!!!!#but. it IS very frustrating that my highest grade would only be an 89.#so close omfg but still better than I originally expected!!!!#I just hope my final semester goes by well!!!#—in store chit chat! 🍫#also sorry I have been v quiet on here I’m#prepping for surgery and I’m anxious and also my current semester just ended#so I’m catching up on some downtime things I hadn’t done before#but I will return in full throttle someday maybe ☝🏼
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reading some batman comics and i always get so excited when Tim is there he's so funny
#also it's nice to know that dick takes his mean/annoying older brother duties seriously#but tims inner dialogue is my favorite#almost cheered when batman carries him out of the sewers bc he's real sick#im specifically trying to read the comics where Cas appears so I'm kinda just jumping in the middle of things#anyway tim and selina are the funniest to be in the minds of#selina is so mad at batman and threatening to kill him in her head until he kisses her and she's like 'okay babygirl whatever you want'#i do love silent void mask batgirl shes so ominous#not having any context besides vague prior knowledge and what they provide is so funny what do you mean selina ran for mayor and staged her#-own assassination??#shoutout to tims fever dreams where his dad accepts him and batman is disappointed in him skip to hours later when B is so proud-#-and carrying his sick ass out because he cares so much#yj tease him about batman being his dad and they are right#it was so boring when it was just batman being emo I'm so happy his kids are here#i did like when he babysat an actual baby for a bit and convinced the women fighting over it to co-parent#like he was kicking ass with one arm cradling a baby just.. because? helena asks where he got the baby and he just doesn't say anything#if your characterization of batman lets him carry around a baby and they're both unbothered by it then that's how you know its good
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Me: listening to So You Want To Talk About Race
Me: oh I am learning a lot about my relationship to blackness in this book written by another black woman raised by a white parent (identities to that differing widely)
#personal;#i will probably write a long rambly Post Later (like tomorrow or something)#but i Realized (part of) why i have so much issue relating to blackness this morning bc of something the author says to her (white) mother#and am realizing that /maybe/ race might also be part of why dad was genuinely shocked i thought i was a disappointment for lack of#being told he was proud (and lack of achievements worth a damn to society) bc like. a white cis man will /generally/ get more#for just existing than a shy black girl with emotional regulation issues#*girl/woman re me in this post being used for intersectionality reasons and not gender#well. kinda gender. i WAS a girl. once. until somewhere in my teens#regardless!#i'm very tired but my brain is cooking#i had to turn the book off bc brain cooking too much i can feel it buzzing and i have no energy to deal with the thoughts/emotions making#it buzz and fizzle so#i should force myself to shower#but!!!!!! emphatically recommend to anyone white wanting to learn how to talk about this stuff while being white#and understand concepts you might not get (tho beginnerish level)
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I’m really really liking how they’re handling the fights in this arc. Like obviously we WANT to see how much the Strawhats have improved and having them go up against enemies equally matched would feel kinda disappointing and anticlimactic, especially for Luffy. It would have been such a huge letdown if they all trained for two years and then struggled against any new enemies. But nope! Luffy literally beat Hody’s ass in two solid punches and that was IT. The overarching antagonist of the arc, who has been pulling strings behind the scenes at Fish Man Island for YEARS now, was absolutely obliterated and Luffy didn’t even have to break a sweat doing it. But it was drawn out long enough that is was satisfying. The pacing is PERFECT, Oda you absolute madlad
#The delicate balance on both sides that could lean into anticlimactic territory REAL quick#It was handled so so well#Like it wasn’t disappointing to see Luffy beat Hody bc it took a bit to get there#And Hody got some hits in on Luffy but they weren’t like. Really harsh blows or anything#I would have been really mad if Hody beat Luffy after he literally trained for TWO YEARS to get stronger#So glad the Strawhats got to show off this arc with their battle prowess 🥰#All my kids are kicking ass. I’m SO proud of them#One Piece#Shima speaks#EDIT: Okay so I wrote this post a LITTLE bit too soon lmao#Luffy actually got hit kinda hard. But it’s fine it’s cool
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i have now officially told my dad about my educational, financial, and medical situations. i have also now officially lied to my mom about those things. yippee
#its incredibly humiliating to have to make a rent agreement with my gf#its even moreso to have to tell my dad#even with all our differences i want him to be proud of me#kinda hard to be proud of 'dumbass who didnt take better care of their finances while they were healthy and is now taking off school cuz...#...they cant move consistently. so now theyre broke with no job and limited ability to Get one while wracking up medical bills'#like yeah sure whatever its not my fault and i wouldn't judge anyone else for this. but i judge myself and i think my dad judges me too#i don't care if mom is proud of me. she never has been and never will be. so i don't care about lying to her to save my sanity#but i can't lie to my dad. i can't make eye contact while i tell him i'm taking the semester off but i can at least tell him the truth#cuz sure he might be disappointed with me but at least i'm not adding lying to the list of reasons for the disappointment
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my game crashed before i had the chance to save... i was only a day into a new save so its not *that* much of a loss but.....
#it crashed like a 20 minutes after i finished a build that i was actually kinda proud of#i'm disappointed tbh#magi.txt
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i msiss him so much
my drawings are but a crude shadow cast by the real tuing.....
#you would think drawing him would invoke feelings within my but it doesnt because*i* made it#so i dont see him i see my terrible shadow puppet portrait. all suspension of disbelief is lost#it honestly just makes me 10x more critical of my skill#playing in a musical group is such a different form of art because hearing myself as a small part in a whole group playing beautifully#is like. an otherworldly experience. its amazing its so moving.#whereas seeing visual art ive made. even if im proud of it i feel absolutely nothing .#i might feel a little pride or relief at finishing or improving .#i will absolutely feel dissatisfaction and disappointment at its imperfections#but it will never move me like art that somebody else has made will#kinda disappointing
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Honestly, I'm not even surprised💀
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how!! to!! get!! better!! at!! drawing!!!!
#how to get good enough at making art that making it makes you feel proud rather than disappointed in your creations#or rather how to appreciate everything you make until you don’t need to feel ‘proud’ of your art#and then one day you kinda realized youve gotten good at it#i can post stuff too
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