#kinda like melania you know

[whoregaylorenzo]

watch red bull start a fund to donate to anti-bullying initiatives after max got booed

[apotelesmaa]

Does the from soft player base have an issue with misogyny? yes. does from soft itself have as big of an issue w misogyny as polygon seems to think? no not really and the points they made to support that idea were very half baked

[fartface025]

headcanon page bc i am the reverse 1999 fan of all time

assorted, pavzima flavor and kaalaa6 agenda.

erick ran into ttt once and conked her head fell unconscious. she didnt remember. ttt has never told anyone out of guilt. theres a conspicuous bump on her middle television. she feels so bad about it.

a knight likes to eat elk. jessica never finds out because he’s so fucking scared of her. like gloves shaking scared. she doesnt know. thinks hes just a cutie.

melania takes lilya’s advice to spike coffee with vodka for a kick. lilya is going to tease her, but she’s actually kinda scared because melania is one hundred percent cool with it. no gagging, no side effects.

arcana and druvis iii have fucked nasty.

forget me not would be trash at sex. hesd say the dumbest shit.

dikke and darley clatter fucking hate each other, nobody’s really sure why

sonetto likes leilani she thinks shes nice

sonetto doesnt like to purposefully loiter after a mission is complete, but vertin knows she wants to stay and do things. usually she lies and says they have business in whatever quaint coffee store sonetto’s been staring at, or at the carnival, or on the london wheel

john titor is the it guy. sputnik, the robot, and ttt all HATE him. “monthly checkup guys” “SCATTER!!!!”

nobody’s heard dikke swear so lilya jokes she must have a medieval swear she says. even a knight thinks she never swears, and he would know if she did. an an lee knows better, she once heard dikke say “fucking stupid ass fucking cretins.” (in reference to lilya and darley clatter deciding to headon fight like fifty monsters, immediately dying.) she looked at dikke. dikke had no response, no change in countenance. nobody would believe her.

aroace horrorpedia, but if he was capable of getting some he’d say some stupid shit when a girl/guy takes off their pants. same is true of diggers, who is very into anything, but gets no pussy because he once said “rocking” when a beautiful woman undressed for him.

NASTY SWEARERS, frequently (swear INCESSANTLY, and filthily, ranked by frequency) pavia, centurion, lilya, an-an lee, NONE of these people save pavia and lilya are allowed near children, centurion once took charlie on a roller coaster and it was maybe the worst experience of both their lives. pavia is exempted because mondlicht stalks him and he has nothing to make her stop. also matilda is so horrified by swearing and tells on them all. sonetto is also horrified but kinda intrigued.

NASTY SWEARERS, infrequently (swear rarely, but when they do its filthy) tennant (she learnt the term fuck nasty from ttt and then went on to use it on as many women as possible, accelerating language evolution in india and the uk), dikke (she likes to play with an an lee, who is still not sure who to tell), bkornblume (being free of censorship for the first time in a while is … encouraging), tooth fairy, vertin, satsuki, necrologist (rarely does but gets in a few nasty ones), kaalaa baunaa, shamane, kanjira, tooth fairy. (six doesnt really swear but he is captivated by the way she swears which is usually in hindi and absolutely vile.) melania, druvis.

TAME SWEARERS (frequent). madame z. APPLe loves saying shite, regulus loves saying shite, X says fuck, bunny bunny says aw shit, sotheby, john titor has her own equivalent, la source is la source.

TAME SWEARERS (infrequent). sotheby, ttt, sonetto, mesmer jr.

WOULD ACTUALLY DIE IF THEY SWORE: matilda swore once (ass) and then cried to kanjira.

kaalaa likes ttt because shes funny and lame as hell. so does kanjira. kanjira says GO WHITE GIRL GO and ttt gets tripped in her cable and cries. kaalaa helps her up but is also chuckling as she does so. shamane tells them to let up but he is also giggling.

sotheby and kanjira love picrasma candy.

six likes the flavor so does kaalaa. (im subliminally messaging you so fucking hard)

kaalaa explains what she thinks the stars mean and vedic astrology. six listens. hes genuinely interested. they talk abt astrophysicists and the math of it, the science of determining fate. fate is a strange concept for him. he is rather grateful theirs intersect.

sotheby finds out arcana and druvis are exes. it’s so over for druvis.

“why does the freaky ink lady call you beloved!” “How about we stop talking for a little bit” (about to tear her hair out)

bkornblume and lilya r dating, purely bc theyre that couple who goes we really liked ur vibe at the bar.

they did that to bunny bunny, who is acearo

37 fucking hates gogurt and shes gonna be so annoying about it. regulus nearly decks her clear on the face. “its not real yogurt” (seething regulus) “ILL REAL YOGURT YOU” (leaps and x has to restrain her)

regulus has eaten various knickknacks for missions. big bad villain comes out and says “HEY! what do ya think youre doing with that key!” vertin and sonetto swivel to look. regulus takes one look at the guy, vertin and sonetto, and immediately eats it. they have to magic school bus inside her guts to get it out.

X and regulus are girlfailure x boyboss and also he listens to the worst music of all time.

“regulus listen to this sick beat!” [angelic 2 the core by corey feldman]

spathodea loves melania theyre best friends. melania is 6 foot and can lift spathodea one arm. “SPATHY!” “MISS MELANIA!!!!”

the rollercoaster incident is so bad. theyre banned from that carnival.

rabies gets along w all the animals, esp pavia and zima’s. the haybale supports gay rights

click and necrologist are friends. sonetto and click are friends. necrologist and sonetto are friends

shamane teaches mondlicht to swim. mondlicht hates the water. like a lot.

kaalaa and shamane sit on the roof to stargaze even if the stars arent like the ones outside the suitcase

kaalaa can recite a variety of fables, and so can shamane. sometimes theres lightning in the suitcase, and they deal w the lil kids. kanjira scares them though

matilda and kanjira kissed bc matilda wanted to practice and kanjira doesnt mind. matilda learned things abt herself. kanjira also does but shes NEVER gonna tell anyone.

cristallo as ment in my prev post hangs out with leilani erick eagle and mondlicht.

erick is the famed mood killer of couples. pavia teasing zima about to get a reaction? “I gotta pee mr pavia can you take me there.” 6kaalaa bonding? “mr 6 we need to go i kicked some politician in the groin” vernetto really intimate moment? “ms timekeeper, whats it mean when you can see your kidney”

regulus HATES IT. shes abt to score in a movie theatre, and BOOM blondie kid.

pavia and mondlicht both can barely read but pavia’s a math god and mondlicht is an expert in biology and also has midwifed before because her village js mostly women. theyre both really smart.

pav and mond get help from eagle to read. zima teaches pav basic poetry. pav enjoys it.

pav and zima are exact same height.

cristallo wants to eat a burger one day

druvis and arcana have fucked nasty did i say that already. ungodly toxic. would do again

tooth fairy and madame z are very married. only time z went on a mission technically was to pick sotheby regulus and druvis up from jail. tooth fairy is deadpan. “hello sir we are these three minor children’s parents.” “yes, sir. very married.” (sotheby is SO dead for hitting that senator with her car)

charlie fucking loves rabies.

6KAALAA Explanation

6kaalaa explanation. 6kaalaa is basically its not that 6 is really repressed i think he would act the same way abt romance even if he wasnt 6. maybe more interested just bc its an interesting component of his existence.

i rock w both hcs abt demiromantic or asexual 6 and also ones where he is unlabelled, not averse to anything but not seeking romantic love. i see him as the latter but like.

theyre like pavzima. theyre not a romantic relationship as normally construed or imagined, but theyre def romantic in nature. they have a good friendship before they ever consider romantic entanglement.

6 is gen interested in kaalaa and vedic astrology, kaalaa finds his life interesting. also they have close familial dynamics in sophia 37 and 210, and kanjira and shamane.

i talked abt this w @anonymocha and how funny it would be w 6 meeting shamane and kanjira.

another discussion w anonymocha has made me confident. let me explain:

disclaimer, not an expert on kaalaa or 6, i missed mor pankh, i dont have kaalaa bur i know aspects of her character, 6 i am good friendship w did his story event when we had the 1.6 update, but havent gone past c5

HOWEVER!

LISTEN!

firstly, kaalaa is great at math. vedic astrology as she practices demands great skill as a mathematician. she’s qualified to be a professor. she has to be excellent at it to calculate planetary movement. compared to any average person, she’s a prodigy in this field. i feel confident saying that out of the cast members that aren’t of the 1.6 island, she’s one of the best mathematicians. (john titor i dont know much of, i would assume she is a great mathematician too)

headcanon: i see both kaalaa and 6 on the same scale of demiromanticism. 6 isnt averse to aesthetic attraction, but he doesnt seek or need romantic love, and i think the same is true of kaalaa (SUBJECTIVE! this is my idea), and i think sex is just a if it happens it happens. (though they wouldnt want it or seek it out most times.) i j think they both understand aesthetic appeal and kaalaa is rhe single most beautiful reverse 1999 woman. send tweet

kaalaa is an astrologist who depends on seeing fate into something that can arguably be attributed as math. math as fate…why does that sound familiar…

the difference is kaalaa is of the opinion fate can be altered or is divergent and is never cemented. atticus was defined by his destiny and it eventually fulfilled and became him, but he was resistant. and from what we see of him in his event story and his interaction w the other worshipper in his second story implies remaining elements of humanity and individuality from his identity as atticus, PLUS he was curious for sophia and her human normal behaviors. this intersection between two people who know fate and have it entwined in their life, who both know math well and use it to define a large part of their beings, but the main differences of preconceptions of fate and exposure to human emotion, culture and illogicality? it feels opportune for a story, especially with the islanders learning that human traits are good and make life worth living (personal thinf, i Love humans and our illogical persistent emotions. apathy is an emotion. we are inescapably made of them.)

i hope this doesnt sound like romantic love teaches someone to “be human”. i explained that i think of them as a close friendship that naturally becomes romantic in nature, but i dont see the romantic love as the Woahhh hes human now. i see it as this as well as exposure to arcanist and human culture and nuance (a journey that him and 37 embark on) informs his worldview and its really secondary to both kaalaa and 6’s familial love with groups who care about them dearly (kanjira and shamane, 37, sophia and 210). that last part sounds like headcanon but i think its another poit of connection

REGGHHJNNNHGHSHSBSBSBSHSNNANNAN J JSUT LIVE THEM. I LOBE THEM

[anoriathdunadan]

I LITERALLY stopped working on my memo so I could read this indictment. I am on page 24 and JESUS LUPITA NYONG'O CHRIST. HOW this man still has the capacity to shock me after everything that's happened, i'll never know. but I am sitting here *STUNNED*.

I'll be honest-- b/c i really DO lean into naivete sometimes. it's difficult for me to assume the worst from ppl, even when they have done all of the worst things. so this wholllllle time, i've been thinking, "wonder why he didn't give back those docs. he's probably lost them."

and also, "this dingus just grabbed shit from the white house b/c he's too stupid to know he couldn't. he probably doesn't even realize what he has." lol. nooooooooooooooooooooope. noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooope.

this was a DELIBERATE and CONCERTED effort to remove the most sensitive docs the country has, and KEEP them.........and then SHOW THEM TO PPL AT HIS LEISURE WHILE *ACKNOWLEDGING* THAT HE WAS NEITHER SUPPOSED TO HAVE THEM OR SHOW THEM....

he haphazardly stored the docs ANY DAMNED WHERE........INCLUDING.........IN A GODDAMNED BATHROOM SHOWER.......they were chucked to some random room in Mar a lago, and occasionally the boxes----because there were SOOOOOOOOO MANY--would tumble down......

and TOP SECRET DOCUMENTS.........DOCUMENTS HAVING TO DO WITH DEFENSE PLANS, MILITARY CAMPAIGNS, NUKES, YOU NAME IT.....DOCUMENTS *CLEARLY MARKED* "TOP SECRET" AND "SECRET" AND "CONFIDENTIAL" AND TWO OTHER DESIGNATIONS I'D NEVER EVEN HEARD OF BEFORE TODAY...BUT WHICH APPARENTLY

MEAN SUPER DUPER DUPER DOUBLE PINKY SWEARSIES REALSIES SECRET......WOULD JUST............ SPILL OUT ONTO THE GD FLOOR........AND LIE THERE.........EXPOSED FOR ALL TO SEE.........JUST.....NAKED AND BARING ALL TO THE WORLD LIKE A NATIONAL SECURITY FULL MONTY.

AND AS IF *THAT* WEREN'T ENOUGH.....the Archives asked this MF fifty-leven times to give all this stuff back. and 45 would be all, "I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING I GOT. DAMN. SHIT. THERE'S NOTHING HERE." THEN HE WOULD HAVE HIS AIDES MOVE THE BOXES......

AND HE WOULD TRAVELLLLLLLLLLLLL WITHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THE BOXESSSSSSSSSSSS.

and some member of his family....ivanka or melania or lara......ALSO knew he had the boxes...... but he would TRAVEL WITHHHHHHH THEM. BECAUSE THAT WAS--PRESUMABLY--the ONLY WAY TO MAKE SURE HE KEPT THEM.

BUT WHAT'S WILDER STILL............IS THAT THIS MF HAD LAWYERS WHO WERE LIKE, "Fam. For serious. You need to turn in ANYTHING that you have that is a file and belongs to the US Government. DEAD. ASS."

and 45 was all...TO THE LAWYERS.......TO THESE OFFICERS OF THE COURT...."couldn't y'all just tell them there's nothing here?" and "wouldn't it be better if we just.....kinda like.....burned all this shit...you know....if it were here....*hypothetically*."

and one lawyer was all.......

then he was like, "you got this subpoena on may 11. i'm coming through on the first of the month to run through that WHOLE SHIT...and i'ma make SURE *NOTHING* that belongs to THESE UNITED ASS STATES is in that garish monstrosity you pretend is a house."

SO 45 has his body man and his aides MOVE THE BOXES AGAIN. LIKE JUST..........SCORES OF BOXES........HE HAS THEM MOVE A GAZILLION BOXES AGAIN.......TO HIDE THEM FROM.......................HIS *LAWYERS*.

AND THENNNNNNNNNNNNN....THE NIGHT BEFORE THE DAY HIS LAWYER IS SUPPOSED TO COME THROUGH......HE CALLED HIM.......AND WAS LIKE, "Aye, dawg. You still coming tomorrow? I was sitting here talking to the homies and like...we don't know why you're coming. Why are you coming?"

and the lawyer was like, (*presumably deep sigh here*), "I ALREADY TOLD YOU. I'm coming through to move through the house and make sure i can tell them we complied with the subpoena. i'm gonna make sure you don't have anything you're not supposed to. Okay?"

and 45 is like, "OHHHHHHHHH! Right. Cool. Coolcoolcoolcool....cool. Come on through, then. I'll see you tomorrow." Then he hung up. AND HAD HIS BODYMAN MOVE MORE BOXES.

I have to keep reading. but what i really need you to know....is that whoever drafted this is giving us NEXT LEVEL #caliber dorian corey shade. because SPRINKLED THROUGHOUT.....are excerpts from quotes that donald trump gave the press during campaigns and his presidency-

boasting about how good he'd be at keeping this country's secrets safe...how we needed a return to discretion and how ppl who violated national security laws and breached the protections afforded our most sensitive docs needed to be punished with the

full might of the law. for real. for real. GASP.

ch- the lawyer went to mar a lago, and 45 and his aides were just sitting there, like, "oh yeah. this guy wants to make sure we've turned all the stuff in. somebody take him back to the room and make sure he's comfortable."

the lawyer goes, looks around....and finds 38 things that were top secret. and, honest to God....i think they left that stuff there deliberately so that it wouldn't look like they'd cleaned house.

so the lawyer packages up what's left......goes back out, and 45 has the AUGODDAMNEDDACITY TO BE LIKE, "Wassup? How are we lookin'?" HAND TO GOD, this man says, "Is it good? is it bad?" AS THOUGH HE HADN'T DIRECTED EVERYONE TO CLEAN HOUSE.

THEN when the lawyer shrugs and indicates that there's still some chester copperpot level shit in the box he's carrying, 45 MIMES taking out the secret stuff and disposing of it..... MIMES. WITH HIS WEE HANDS.

the lawyer apparently ignores it, and is like, "okay. i'm gonna being in last lawyer and i'm gonna tell her that i went all the way through everything you said you had. then i'm gonna tell her that what i'm holding RIGHT NOW is the last of ANYthing that you have and

aren't supposed to. SO IF THERE IS ANYTHING ELSE IN THIS HOUSE, TELL ME NOW. CAUSE SHE'S COMING WITH AN OFFICIAL ASS PAPER THAT I AM TENDERING TO THE FEDS....AND WE DON'T LIE TO THE FEDS...SO IS THIS IT, DONALD?"

and 45 is like, "on my mama." so the lawyer brings the other lawyer in, and is like, "this is it. this is everything. so you can safely put your good name and your good Bar ID number on this super official sworn statement. b/c 45 said this is it and we've complied."

let me just stop for a moment, right here and tell you that i would *literally* die first... i would ****literally**** ****DIE**** before i relied on that man's representations. i'd lie down in the center of my living room floor-

cover myself up in a blanket- rollllllllllllllllll from wall to wall, back and forth, until i was Dexter secure in the bedding- and then will my body to cease breathing... before i'd put MY NAME on some shit off the STRENGTH of Donald Gargamel John Trump's word.

so the lawyers turned that weak ass certification in.......and told the NATIONAL ARCHIVES RECORDS ADMINISTRATION.........THE ENTITY CHARGED WITH THE TASK OF MAINTAINING OUR COLLECTIVE MEMORY AS A NATION....... "that's all we got."

AS IF THIS FEDERAL AGENCY.........WHOSE *CHIEF* RESPONSIBILITY IS *LITERALLY* TO *KEEP* THINGS......WOULDN'T KNOW.......THIS VERITABLE MOUNTAIN OF DOCUMENTS........WAS MISSING.

the feds got that certification back and looked at that shit like

then they subpoenaed video surveillance from Mar a Lago...... BECAUSE OF COURSE. and what do they see? the bodyman and the aides NOT ONLY MOVING BOXES........but MOVING BOXES ONTO A PLANE... AND THEN THAT PLANE TAKING OFF......WITH TRUMP IN TOW.......FLYING AWAY FOR THE SUMMER

b/c he wanted the boxes with him at his vacation house.

lol..........soooooooooooooooooooo the DOJ sent them boys in....... and the windbreakers searched that stucco, Mediterranean-style abomination from top to bottom...... and found 100+ more protected docs.

your. boy. is. a. CLOWNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN.

there's a breakdown of the stuff they found. my. word. every time i see the words "concerning military capabilities of the united states," "concerning nuclear weaponry of the united states"-- i just.... WOW. WOW. WOW. WOW.

this is the bodyman. if the past is indeed prologue, and we draw from my favorite episode in american history ever, brought to us courtesy of messrs. mitchell, haldeman, ehrlichman, colson, hunt, and liddy- HE goes DIRECTLY to jail, and 45....well...doesn't.

I genuinely hope, that if, over the course of these twitter years, you have taken but ONE THING from EVERYTHING I've EVER told you... It's to not lie to the Feds. DO NOT LIE TO THE FEDS. Just decline the interview and get indicted on whatever they've got.

You can beg for grace later. There are literally mechanisms in place for ppl who come clean and are helpful to them down the line. Just decline the interview. But DO. NOT. LIE.

This dude is the valedictorian of jackasses.

NOT THIS SUZANNE SUGARBAKER-STYLE CONFUSED DENIAL.

anyway, that's it. in summation, everything is awful.

[birlwrites]

As I want to know everything about your version of the black family, I'm going to ask you about the personalities of Pollux, Arcturus, Irma, Melania, Alphard, Cygnus and Druella. And if you have headcanons of the black family. I really liked Orion in the last chapter, they usually make him very invisible in ff.

okAY SO!

re personalities i'm just going to do all of them in the order you listed them for simplicity's sake, here goes:

pollux: kinda struggles to find a sense of purpose in his life (WOW starting off uplifting ajfskhgkjdf) - he's spent so much of his life just having... nothing important to do? he's a spare in a cadet branch. both he and alphard are older than arcturus and yet arcturus is the heir and pollux and alphard handle that differently. dude needs some hobbies. he did a lot of teaching bellatrix dark arts and he is fiercely proud of her, he also just needs to like. take up gardening or something afjslgkhjskdf

arcturus: i think of him as being intensely charismatic and very stubborn - voldemort doesn't know how lucky he was that orion didn't grow up into a carbon copy of his father because tom riddle's efforts to take charge of slytherin would NOT have gone well if he were up against a mini-arcturus afjslkghjksdf (orion is a) abt 2 years younger and b) didn't feel the urge to jump into the ring). he's not competitive because he's confident that there's nobody who could possibly compete with him, but that doesn't mean he's going to hesitate to quash what he sees as disrespect. heavy user of the family magic, and we know how that goes for him, but on a lighter note, was very serious about being the head of the *family,* not just lord black - he was the driving force behind getting the extended family to spend summers at black manor and he'd be absolutely fucking pissed to see the state of house black now

irma: irma's just vibing, she is also purposeless (woooooooooo), living vicariously through bellatrix's stories of death eater life, pollux and irma are very happy people who definitely aren't bored at all, irma's never fantasized about stabbing someone with a fork

melania: very warm and also very intense. the sort of person who you meet for the first time and then an hour later you're making plans to start a business together selling enchanted furniture and putting all the profits into funding a culinary school. you don't even know how you got onto this topic. you've never cared about culinary school in your life. you also can't tell if she's joking. this particular scenario is more an example than anything that has actually happened but like - she has a way of making people feel very close to her. intense but not severe. like ginger beer

alphard: sometimes feels like the only sane person in the family. everyone else seems to be absolutely incapable of chilling the fuck out for one (1) single second, and without arcturus and melania around to enforce order things have just gone to shit and two of the kids are disowned and BELLATRIX IS A DEATH EATER and just in general what the fuck is happening??? on a lighter note, alphard spends a lot of his obscene amounts of leisure time (and money) on commissioning art and music. he's an especially good person to know if you're trying to make it as a painter or sculptor because he might let you use his house as a venue for a showing and invite his wealthy friends with huge houses that need decor and with the alphard black stamp of approval you'll probably sell basically everything

cygnus: i've talked about cygnus in some other posts but i don't feel like hunting for them rn ajflkhsgljdf. cygnus likes chess and the socratic method and books that take two people to lift. he's levelheaded, occasionally to the point of aloofness, and he had to deal with twins andromeda and bellatrix age 2 (and teenage andromeda, bellatrix, AND narcissa) so he's pretty unflappable. once he had to talk bellatrix out of murdering andromeda's ex-boyfriend ok he can handle anything. has been talking to regulus about books ever since regulus learned to read. he and orion are both at fault for baby regulus learning how to create an inferius because regulus really REALLY wanted to read a book with a very shiny cover (on a high shelf) and cygnus and orion looked at each other and went 'yeah ok sure why not' and that is how elementary necromancy, volume 4 ended up in regulus's hands

druella: grew up a rosier in a cadet branch, which was basically a free license to do whatever she wanted as long as it didn't look serious. she got very bored, married a guy who was The Opposite of that, and now spends a lot of time gleefully exchanging acerbic bits of gossip with cassiopeia and walburga. and bellatrix! she used to pride herself on being an attentive mother who actually spent time with her children, then andromeda straight up ran away 😬 oops. also i'm deciding rn that she played quidditch - seeker for slytherin! (she wasn't enlisted in 'talk bellatrix out of murdering andromeda's ex-boyfriend' because she would have been like bella that would be very irresponsible and dangerous. here's how we're going to humiliate him publicly--)

i have lots of headcanons but this post is already very long and idk how to like, mentally sort through my headcanons to pick out the ones to state here ajkghsjlgksdf

[trustrosswrites]

Omg how did I not know new dlc trailer dropped till now, putting my initial thoughts out there.

I think it’s so interesting how it seems they’re going towards a bloodborne dlc route, both of them being a dream world that will contain the earliest secrets and sins of the current order. Double so considering whoever is taking that initial golden thread almost looks like they’re taking it from like, a placenta or a corpse (imo it looks like the godskin swaddle). Second, is that while at first I was starting to doubt the Mesmer-radagon connection. I’m now realizing that miquella and melania could defs fill out the Mesmer theme (it would also line up with the three kids radagon had with renalla.

I’m also wondering if the fire and war Mesmer took place in was how the erdtree burned the first time (instead of like with vyke as some might have said). If true, it also kinda makes marikas campaign against the giants make a bit more sense, to totally decimate any flames left. Although as I’m saying that the timeline doesn’t quite make sense (unless Mesmer is a bastard child, or totally unrelated which i think is possible). Also could be that maybe this destruction of the flame in “our” world created an opposite effect in this dream world.

Either way, I wonder just how much the timeline of things will change as we learn more about “the beginning”. Because already, the idea of ‘gold’ being something that was stolen (almost Prometheus esq) kinda messed with the idea that it was “given” by the outer gods. ESPECIALLY if the one who stole it was marika, although now I’m wondering if the whole “oh yeah plasidusax is sorta the first elden lord of his time” is LITERALLY propaganda misusing history to legitimize its rule.

My biggest question (and most relevant discussion) is just *what* is so powerful, or useful, that miquella would cast away everything he had to try and obtain. Cuz in bloodborne, the hunters nightmare was a punishment and a curse put ON hunters for their transgressions against kos and the fishing village. The only thing to be gained there is answers, and the small mercy of killing the orphan of kos. Everyone agrees that being there is no good, and there really isn’t anything to be gained by continuing to defile this corpse.

I’m inclined to think miquella genuinely is good, assuming their intentions are good as well. But even if you’re thinking purely strategically, what could be so powerful to make you give up everything? Either way I’m literally so excited

[moderndayamymarch]

ranking downton abbey characters:

edith’s newspaper man- died punching nazis, can’t get more iconic than that

2. rose- flapper icon!! best fashion sense, married a cute jewish man, living my dream life

3. cora’s family- PLAYED BY SHIRLEY MACLAINE AND PAUL GIAMATTI, move over england the twentieth-century is america’s time to shine, it’s just funny that the family acts like they’re so above the americans but they’re the only reason y'all still have a house, like you hate us until you want our money

4. maggie smith- 1900s lucille bluth

5. thomas- often diva a down, i love a good schemer, only one real enough to call out the class divide

6. tom- HE’D BE HIGHER BUT THE WRITERS HAD HIM SELL OUT HIS SOCIALIST, IRISH NATIONALIST IDEAS IN EXCHANGE FOR BECOMING A COG IN THE WHEEL OF BRITISH ARISTOCRACY AND SPOKESPERSON FOR CAPITALISM. why. let my man burn down symbols of imperialism. i was in love with him season 1 and 2 but after? as joyce would say he became a jester at the court of his masters.

7. sybil- feminist icon, she would’ve stopped tom’s whole arc if she’d lived

8. mrs. hughes- she’s the only one keeping these ppl alive, bad bitch, also only servant aware that this is a job in the end and while she respects her employers she doesn’t worship the ground they walk on

9. matthew- he was cool, is the reason the rich people know what a weekend is, mary’s best love interest and I miss him

10. cora- american dollar princess!!

11. bertie- i love that he’s like toby from the office but if toby was the one promoted to corporate (not ryan). like a w for dull, normal people everywhere! (not an insult this is most everyone)

12. matthew’s mom- she could be a bit much at times and a bit of a nancy pelosi kinda progressive! like the family rolled their eyes at her but she was the only one of them actually doing anything useful for society so i’m not a hater. also i love her friendship with queen maggie smith

13. edith- the best scene of the whole show is the one where she finally called mary a bitch.

14. the cook- she’s cool

15. the dad (what actually is his name?)- he’s such a dumbass, walking example of why we shouldn’t give money/land/power because you’re related to someone, i did like the scene where he vomits up blood in the middle of dinner like finally something interesting

16. anna- stand up girl. be your own individual person

17. carson- ugh

18. mary’s second husband (henry?)- the male version of the horse girl: car guy

19. mary- a bitch but she often ate I fear (except the time she was cold/uncaring and MADE JOKES about newspaper man being killed by the nazis… it’s giving melania when she wore that “i don’t care, do you” jacket. like the man died standing up against what will be a fascist regime. what exactly have you done? )

20. daisy- just annoying

21. bates- i hate this man. he is a sanctimonious, sydney carton wannabe who makes his wife’s assault ABOUT HIM. to the point that her main concern after it happens is that he doesn’t find out to avoid him getting angry. and when he does find out, he broods. he thinks he’s better than everyone and i hate him so much. like in the first season when he refuses to say why he was arrested for stealing silver because of virtue or whatever, like who gives a fuck, just tell em it was your wife. that’s how i know this show isn’t about americans. we have no problem throwing someone under the bus to save our job. americans are nothing if not the prioritization of self-interest/individualism in the name of retaining power in the marketplace.

[babymorte]

Same for me love video game lore lmaoo. And yeah the final boss was was kinda annoying but whatever. Melania was the real fucking bitch tho dude. I must have heard "I am Melania blade of Miquella" like 100 times. Her water fowl attack is straight BS. Anyways if you want really deep lore The Sims is kinda insane. I don't really play it but my ex did and we'd watch videos and it's actually crazy lol

yea my favourite gaming youtube channel is once called gaming harry and he does a series called lore&order but he mostly does horror games but I’ll watch any lore video really even on games I’ve never played…i last watched his video on metro exodus which i hadn’t even heard of before that video dropped but it’s such an interesting story.

oh yea i know a few people that melania made rage pretty rough. i know for a fact i couldn’t take her on but it must have been satisfying when you finally beat her.

oh im a tad bit obsessed with the sims to the point it could basically be a meme. ive watched a tonne of lore and iceberg videos on it. my favourite is still the storyline for ts2

[awellboiledicicle]

Me: “so i zoned out and made an au that’s Tarnished x Morgott and i keep imagining her doing a bunch of audacity fueled sidequests to earn his respect followed by actually just... speaking with her? And Emotions happen because she met him first as Margit the Fell, and didn’t really flinch at him being an omen. And she doesn’t shy away from speaking to him when he’s not wearing his mimic veil to appear more humanlike. So he’s both comforted that someone exists that doesn’t think an omen king is a terrible horrible thing, but also his self esteem is shit because he still has all the baggage of being Cursed, regardless of if he renounced his cursed blood or not. So once they start getting close to one another he starts wondering if she’s just after his position or just trying to get through him to the Erdtree-- since she’s been brainstorming ways to open the way without harming the tree itself--or if she’s just taken with the form he takes when he wears the veil. So its a whole Thing, and even when they get together and she’s looking for runes with the idea that the Erdtree simply won’t open until the proper level of runes are presented, he’s spending a lot of time doubting things because of his whole deal. And i kept imagining a series of scenes where she comes back from fighting Radahn and finds him trying to file off one of his more prominent facial horns to look ‘less like himself’ for her and she’s pissed because she loves him and hates to see him doubt himself. And they end up having a whole discussion about things, even though he balks a few times about talking about his feelings. Oh and everyone in the palace--because i refuse to believe that there’s NO normal people still just doing their fucking best out here-- thinks the tarnished is a social climber that managed to catch the eye of the veiled monarch, but she manages to have a bit more grace [ha] in relation to speaking to people, since Morgott is terse even on good days and while the veil makes it so he’s not like. sitting on his tail for 5 hours a day hearing petitions or doing the business of ruling, he still has chronic pain from his growths and people can be Trying. Not that the tarnished has infinite patience, she’s just more willing to let someone talk their way to their point while she listens. Mostly because its the only way you get little details about people and how things are going out and about. No, but like, i keep imagining them talking about how the Lands Between can be slowly rehabilitated once the Erd tree lets someone in-- be it his tarnished or another, but he feels it’s probably going to be her--and like. He keeps imagining she’ll take the throne and have to find someone worthy of being her consort because he highly doubts that he’ll be allowed to stay by her side. And if he is, he certainly would be replaced as king. If nothing else, then in the event of his true nature coming out-- the public would never accept an omen as a ruler. Even if elevated by an Elden Lord. Basically i keep imagining all the things and the MASSIVE blow out of a fight they’d have if the Tarnished and Melina talked and realized just what would need to happen to get through the brambles on the tree. I also considered her asking him to use the ‘curse’ in his blood to rot away the thorns without burning the whole tree and him being a hard no on it, even if he knows her response is going to be “fire it is then” because he cannot fathom defacing the Erd tree with his blood. Even though its the blood of Merika and Godfrey, changed as it is. I also keep imagining the fight between Godfrey and the tarnished and Morgott not being terribly pleased his father is there but also kinda surprised the tree didn’t allow him in. I keep thinking of all the things and also because i’m me i keep thinking about the tarnished helping people and somehow this = her infiltrating Moghwyn palace to gain their trust enough that when she goes to fight Melania she incapacitates her using the unalloyed needle [i know i’m playing fast and loose with this here but still] and sneaks her into the palace without raising eyebrows because “well the tarnished is being weird again” isn’t new. And then Miquella and Melania return to the Haligtree to recoup, not that Miquella is in any state to like. react to anything. I keep imagining Varre confronting her once the fighting starts between Mohg and Melania and that his bouquet mace scars her face and it looks really cool--”

my cats, who understand nothing: meow

[notasapleasure]

Head Full of Honey (2018)

An adaptation of what was doubtlessly a much beloved (high grossing) German movie...from 2014...almost certainly an unnecessary adaptation. Done by the original director and all. I'm sure this is going to be a very saccharine journey into Alzheimer's and old age but I understand there's a man named Mickey who has a pair of denim dungarees so I'm going to try...though the film is. Very. Trying.

Amid the interminable interminableness at least I'm getting the impression that the random side characters get to have fun.* But also it seems very likely Mickey will have one scene and one scene only in this 130 minute slog...

They didn't even have the gumption to cast James Purefoy as the rakish boss. But ok, an hour in I finally got a good belly laugh from a man nearly getting hit by a firework while taking a piss.

There had BETTER be a charming Italian accent, ok?

This is meant to be funny and it's horrifying.

The Italian accent is going to have to be AMAZING.

1 hour 28 minutes FINALLY

He's singing a little song. He's the prime minister of Sweden and he's gotta take a leak!

I guess you learn to handle all sorts when you work the night shift as a train station janitor...

No Italian accent but he does have his....adorable little American accent again?? Ok.

He left the country because of Trump. And claims he's working on a secret plan to free Melania. But I think it's meant to be endearing, not creepy.

It does kind of work. But only because of Joplin.

New YOIK

He was in stocks....now he's a janitor. Jury's out on whether he means banking or like...public humiliation.

He's a one take kinda guy who likes to pepper his conversation with Italian, bella, besides his 'hair looks kinda great in that shot'. I can't argue with that.

He was in stocks....now he's a janitor. Jury's out on whether he means banking or like...public humiliation.

He's a one take kinda guy who likes to pepper his conversation with Italian, bella, besides his 'hair looks kinda great in that shot'. I can't argue with that.

He has some people smuggling friends (shepherds) who, like everyone else, are dressed like extras in West Side Story. The driver is Indian, so Joplin gets to use a bit of his Indian accent joshing with him. It's cute…..but I want to throttle the director still.

I've decided that's his boyfriend.

"I think it's an awesome thing you're doing, bella."

And I think you should be allowed to stay under the southern European sun like that as long as you want it suits you so well, sir.

---

Rating

Dead? No

Evil? Absolutely not!! Unhinged like every other person in this film though? Entirely.

Affects the plot? He sure does! He helps the fugitives (a ten year old girl and her grandfather who is suffering deeply from memory loss brought on by Alzheimer's) get away from the police and cross the border and it's ok because he also called the girl's parents to tell them she was going to Venice.

God this film is BAD. Painful. Preachy and twee as fuck and deeply dull. Yet Mickey is beautiful. I'd rather have had an Italian or German accent, or just his own London accent. But it was still cute. I'm torn. Because he was very lovely. But seven minutes out of the whole film wasn't much for enduring the rest of it. 2/5 extra half point for the dungarees.

---

*Regarding 'random side characters who get to have fun', that observation was brought on by the weirdly prominent role a German waiter played in a scene. If you want to know just how self-indulgent a project this is, it's indicated by the fact that this was a cameo by the director himself, as an utterly charming and patient waiter who the widowed English grandmother flirts outrageously with.

[oroborosdreadwalker]

OK allow me to get real for a second, I dont find Melania that hard, and neither should you,i know bold statement but hear me out. thinking she is hard is what makes her hard, you subconsciously make yourself think she is going to be in such making it reality, you think that attack is going to hit so you end up not dodging in time and she restores 80% of her health in 1 hit, THAT is what makes her hard the health regen effect she has on hit, you cant trade blows without it being more profitable to her, so you need to focus on dodging, and chipping away at her health while conserving your flasks, phase two however is where things get funky i do admit phase two is a little difficult until you relise that after her scarlet aeonia attack she stands still for a bit and does not attack, bait out small punishable combos and wait for her to use her big attack again and punish that, is she difficult yes she is, is she as impossible as some people say absolutly fucking not, once you pick up on her quirks. Anyways that was my ted talk on Melania. I should end than with the fact that while this comes off kinda like im saying she is a shit boss i just want to say thats not true i enjoyed her boss fight and think its well implemented, does the fact i am fully ok with her stepping on me and calling me a worm(expecially phase 2 lord help me that shit got me down horrendous) help with that fact, no it doesnt thats just me needing to touch grass.

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

I LITERALLY stopped working on my memo so I could read this indictment.

I am on page 24 and JESUS LUPITA NYONG'O CHRIST.

HOW this man still has the capacity to shock me after everything that's happened, i'll never know.

but I am sitting here *STUNNED*. 

I'll be honest-- b/c i really DO lean into naivete sometimes. it's difficult for me to assume the worst from ppl, even when they have done all of the worst things.

so this wholllllle time, i've been thinking, "wonder why he didn't give back those docs. he's probably lost them." 

and also, "this dingus just grabbed shit from the white house b/c he's too stupid to know he couldn't. he probably doesn't even realize what he has."

lol.

nooooooooooooooooooooope. noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooope. 

this was a DELIBERATE and CONCERTED effort to remove the most sensitive docs the country has, and KEEP them.........and then SHOW THEM TO PPL AT HIS LEISURE WHILE *ACKNOWLEDGING* THAT HE WAS NEITHER SUPPOSED TO HAVE THEM OR SHOW THEM.... 

he haphazardly stored the docs ANY DAMNED WHERE........INCLUDING.........IN A GODDAMNED BATHROOM SHOWER.......they were chucked to some random room in Mar a lago, and occasionally the boxes----because there were SOOOOOOOOO MANY--would tumble down...... 

and TOP SECRET DOCUMENTS.........DOCUMENTS HAVING TO DO WITH DEFENSE PLANS, MILITARY CAMPAIGNS, NUKES, YOU NAME IT.....DOCUMENTS *CLEARLY MARKED* "TOP SECRET" AND "SECRET" AND "CONFIDENTIAL" AND TWO OTHER DESIGNATIONS I'D NEVER EVEN HEARD OF BEFORE TODAY...BUT WHICH APPARENTLY 

MEAN SUPER DUPER DUPER DOUBLE PINKY SWEARSIES REALSIES SECRET......WOULD JUST............ SPILL OUT ONTO THE GD FLOOR........AND LIE THERE.........EXPOSED FOR ALL TO SEE.........JUST.....NAKED AND BARING ALL TO THE WORLD LIKE A NATIONAL SECURITY FULL MONTY. 

AND AS IF *THAT* WEREN'T ENOUGH.....the Archives asked this MF fifty-leven times to give all this stuff back. and 45 would be all, "I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING I GOT. DAMN. SHIT. THERE'S NOTHING HERE."

THEN HE WOULD HAVE HIS AIDES MOVE THE BOXES...... 

AND HE WOULD TRAVELLLLLLLLLLLLL WITHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THE BOXESSSSSSSSSSSS.

and some member of his family....ivanka or melania or lara......ALSO knew he had the boxes......

but he would TRAVEL WITHHHHHHH THEM. BECAUSE THAT WAS--PRESUMABLY--the ONLY WAY TO MAKE SURE HE KEPT THEM. 

BUT WHAT'S WILDER STILL............IS THAT THIS MF HAD LAWYERS WHO WERE LIKE, "Fam. For serious. You need to turn in ANYTHING that you have that is a file and belongs to the US Government. DEAD. ASS." 

and 45 was all...TO THE LAWYERS.......TO THESE OFFICERS OF THE COURT...."couldn't y'all just tell them there's nothing here?" and "wouldn't it be better if we just.....kinda like.....burned all this shit...you know....if it were here....*hypothetically*." 

and one lawyer was all.......

[cksmart-world]

SMART BOMB

The Completely Unnecessary News Analysis

By Christopher Smart  

June 27, 2023

EVOLUTION: WHY WOMEN HAVE BAD TASTE IN MEN

Hey Wilson, have you ever seen a nice woman with a total creep? Happens all the time, right. You look over and say, what is she doing with that knuckle-dragger? It must be one of nature's constants — otherwise the human race would simply dry up and blow away. And so that rotten DNA just keeps getting perpetuated and we end up with guys like Jim Jordan, the Ohio congressman who must be a descendent of Dr. Mengele, the Nazi who experimented on death camp prisoners. Notice we've never seen a picture of Mrs. Jordan. Speaking of which, why don't we ever see the wife of Gov. Spencer Cox? Just sayin'. OK, take for example Melania Trump. No, wait. Forget it. We can't go there without professional psychological guidance. Too twisted. True 'nuff, people don't always hook up for the right reasons. What did Ava Braun see in Adolf Hitler — not his mustache-thing. Why did Imelda Marcos marry Ferdinand — lust for shoes? How come bon vivant Eva Peron glued herself to Juan — don't cry for me, Argentina. You've probably had friends like Bill and Hillary Clinton — why is she with that whoremonger, sleaze bag. Gawd. And then there are women like Mrs. Mike Lee who must wake up every morning thinking something like: Help me Jesus, I'm totally screwed.

CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS AND SPANDEX PILATES PANTS

Ever have to move out real fast and then later can't find your stuff. Where are the golf shoes? Tennis racquets? Tax returns? Classified documents? It happens. That's why many Fox News viewers can sympathize with former President Donald Trump when he explained he had to keep several hundred boxes of stuff — that included plans on how to invade Iran, NATO's vulnerabilities etc. etc. etc. — along with jockey shorts, support hose and MAGA hats — cartons of classified documents piled into bathrooms, banquet halls and Melania's lingerie closet. “I had to go through all those boxes before I gave them back (to the Federal Archives and Records Administration),” Trump told Fox's Bent Baier in an interview. “I had to separate all my things out and I'm kinda busy, you know.” When Baier pressed the former president on the issue, he said, “It was all declassified, my boxer shorts, my spandex pilates workout pants, everything.” But what about the subpoena, Baier asked. “Look,” Trump said, “the subpoena was for documents — those weren't documents, they were socks and underwear. You can't subpoena socks and underwear.” But you were caught on tape saying they were top secret. “Yes, that's right, top secret — top secret spandex pilates pants. Not documents, damnit. Cryin' out loud.”

LIFETIME APPOINTMENT TO LUXURY VACATIONS

Oh thank God none of the U.S. Supreme Court Justices were aboard the Titan submersible that imploded last week while on a tourist voyage to the the wreck of the Titanic in the North Atlantic. Still, when it comes to the Supremes anything is possible — “Supreme Court Implodes.” In the wake of a report by ProPublica, conservative Justice Samuel Alito may be wishing he'd signed up for the deep dive. Alito went on a luxury fishing trip to Alaska on the private jet of hedge fund manager Paul Singer. Oops, he somehow forgot to report the trip on his annual financial disclosure and — surprise — did not recuse himself from cases involving Singer's hedge fund. No big deal, Alito explained in the Wall Street Journal, because if you use a seat that would have otherwise been empty, it doesn't count. No Wilson, we are not making this up. This comes on the heels of revelations that conservative Justice Clarence Thomas received luxury travel over years from billionaire Harlan Crow. He didn't report it because, according to Thomas, if the person doing the bribing is your friend then it doesn't count. Alito and Thomas could have run afoul of the high court's Ethics and Code of Conduct but — wait for it — it doesn't have one. So, King's X you bitches — e pluribus unum and up yours.

Post script — Alright, that was the week that was here at Smart Bomb where we keep track of Russian revolutions so you don't have to. Not to make light of the chaos in Russia, Wilson, but it is kinda refreshing when the hot mess is in someone else's country for a change. Think about it, for two whole days we didn't hear about Marjorie Taylor Greene, Lauren Boebert and the rest of the Republican whack jobs in Washington who are fighting over how to impeach President Joe Biden. Well, not so fast, we did have Speaker Kevin McCarthy's pledge to impeach Attorney General Merrick Garland for not jailing Hunter Biden — the president's war-criminal son — for tax evasion. And speaking of Hunter Biden conspiracies, the Republican senator from Tennessee, Marsha Blackburn, contends that news of the missing Titan submersible was timed to distract from the release of IRS whistleblower testimony criticizing the DOJ's investigation of the president's son. And that ain't all — Maria Bartiromo of Fox-News fame maintains the threatened coup in Russia was part of an elaborate scheme to shift attention away from Hunter Biden's guilty plea on two tax misdemeanors. Well of course, why else would Wagner mercenary forces turn against Putin. Crazy? No it's MAGA — same difference.

Well Wilson, maybe it's time we give women their due. After all, they have to wake up to that hairball next to them every morning and make the best of it. Then they have to go to work and get more of the same, if not worse, from their sex-starved bosses. So tell the guys in the band to straighten up and play something respectful for the people who make the world go 'round:

What you want/Baby, I got it What you need/Do you know I got it? All I'm askin'/Is for a little respect When you come home/Hey, baby

(just a little bit) When you get home (just a little bit) I ain't gonna do you wrong/While you're gone Ain't gonna do you wrong/'Cause I don't wanna All I'm askin'/Is for a little respect When you come home/Baby (just a little bit) When you get home/Yeah (just a little bit) Ooh, your kisses/Sweeter than honey And guess what?/So is my money All I want you to do for me Is give it to me when you get home (re, re, re ,re)/Yeah, baby/(re, re, re ,re) When you get home, now (respect, just a little bit) R-E-S-P-E-C-T Find out what it means to me

R-E-S-P-E-C-T Take care, TCB Oh (sock it to me, sock it to me Sock it to me, sock it to me) A little respect (sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me) Whoa, babe/(just a little bit) A little respect/(just a little bit)

Yeah, baby

(Respect —Aretha Franklin)

[dreamofstarlight]

Same Anon as before - “Jackie's inauguration coat was edited to look blue because the brown was not picking up on the cameras”

Yes! Jackies outfit is actually described as being “greige” (a mix of grey and beige) and was purposefully chosen to stand out against the dark thick fur coats the other women and the black jackets/coats the men were wearing that day. Also worth noting that tv was still black and white back then so the dark vs light contrast made her outfit stand out. You can see the color on the JFK library website.

Note: the colorised version of his inauguration was edited when Color tv was more prominent in American homes after his death.

Melania and Ivanka also took their fashion cues from the BRF. Melania tried to do a modern version of Diana, when they were here for their state visit and she wore the white and blue outfit her designer actually stated Diana was the inspiration for the look.

Ivanka modelled herself on Kate - which you can see if you look back photos through the ‘20 campaign - choosing a lot of the same silhouette in different colours. She also wore a lot of Beulah and Suzannah which are kinda niche British brands I wouldn’t have thought a very wealthy American woman who typically wore brands like givenchy, McQueen and dior everyday would know of those brands, let alone wear frequently.

I could go on but don’t feel this is the right blog to moan about American fashion experts calling Melania wearing coats “coatdresses” when in fact they were thick coats being worn as coatdresses. 😂

Yes! All of this! Ivanka actually wore the exact same Beulah dress (olive green yahvi dress) that Kate had worn before. The interesting thing about the first family's fashion and royals fashion is that they are both political. Kate's fashion during the Pakistan tour in 2019 is a perfect example of that. She showed how what she was wearing was used as diplomacy esp since it was the first royal visit to Pakistan for over a decade. I could go on and on about diplomacy and political fashion because it's a bit of an underrated part of relationship building and creating goodwill between countries.

[ruthlesslistener]

Okay so I got to Mohg's actual fight and honestly? Kinda majorly confused as to how people came to the conclusion that him attempting to share 'his bloody bedchamber' involved him raping Miquella when in the canonical opening cutscene, we legit see the dude trickle out in the form of blood. Like, the 'bloody bedchamber' that's being shared here isn't Mohg's, it's Miquella's cocoon. Mohg can't even fit in the damn thing to begin with in his normal form, and that's ignoring the fact that Miquella has been growing into his adult morph the entire time. We straight-up see the fact that he has to liquidate himself to get himself out of there, and the only reason he's even in there to begin with is to try to commune with Miquella (perhaps with the assistance of the Formless Mother?). There's nothing to suspect sexual violence, it's literally just a fucked-up communion ritual like some shit straight outta Yharnam.

Idk, I just feel like the fandom's usual interpretation of everything being about rape and pedophilia is WAYY off the mark here, even with GRRM involved. It's still an absolutely fucked up part of the storyline, but it's 'satanic blood cult with a power-hungry leader attempts to grow their own god with copious amounts of blood rituals, and is kind of scarily succeeding' levels of fucked up, not 'kidnapped and raped an innocent child' type of fucked up. Which yeah, was probably GRRM's original storyline bc he's got a weird fuckin obsession with disgusting shit like that, but it really isn't in line with Fromsoft's take on horror. Even Bloodborne didn't go that far, and it had a whole plot about men in power exploiting women's bodies for their own gain (Arianna's child didn't count- it was supposed to be a horror twist on a chosen sexless god-given child, like Jesus but fucked up). So far the horror of the Mohg and Miquella situation is more the fact that Mohg kidnapped him and is attempting to use him to become Lord via fucked-up magic rituals ala the power of an outer god- and Miquella himself, who's already fuckin creepy even without dramatic Satan causing problems. Hell, I can't even throw the fact that they're half-brothers fully into the horror mix, bc even though its pretty damn revolting in people, these are gods, and they're written like it. Again, doesn't excuse it, but the drama and family dynamics of the gods of Elden Ring are right out of an old mythos, so I'm honestly surprised it hasn't happened earlier.

Not to mention- the blood rituals? Were working. Miquella's fuckin HUGEEE now. I don't know if that was the development he intended to take, since he kind of got kidnapped by an insane demonic power-hungry cult leader before that happened, but whatever Mohg was doing to help reverse the curse? It worked. Miquella aint a child anymore. Idk WHAT he is, but whatever is in there isn't the person carved into the statues of the Haligtree. Its huge, has skin like tree bark, and is just overall kinda...yeesh.

TDLR: Mohg and Miquella's situation isn't fucked up in the way you think it is, it's fucked in the completely opposite, eldrich horror, 'oh-god-what-are-you-creating' sort of way. I get the feeling that Mohg's power-hungry attempt to break Miquella free of his curse just made a god that's even more fearsome than Melania herself, and that we're going to have to suffer that monster's wrath when he figures out what we did to his sister.

[gardenerian]

Okay, Melania, you don't have to answer this but I read tags about people withholding rants about Ian and my brain just goes, "MUST KNOW!" So if you're okay with doing so, rant about Ian drinking and his meds, please?

PS I hate when you can't start/cancel services online and need to call the company. What is this, the 1980s?!

straight up, you having a lil nickname for my nickname is the cutest thing in the world to me, like when you call me that my whole brain goes 🥰

hiding Mel's Mental Illness Thoughts under the cut:

i guess it's not really a rant - and it's certainly not directed at anyone in particular. it's just stuff i notice. skjfdhsd it's just - the way ian is with his meds in s5 is not how it's gonna stay. as they balance out, he probably can drink a couple of beers without getting absolutely shitfaced. in 5x10, he's just on the meds. and he's still unstable. so yeah - he's gonna get fucking hammered.

but by now.... he needs to be careful, of course, and not risk destabilizing, but he knows his limits. his tolerance is surely lessened, but it's not zero. i don't know what meds ian is on by the end of series, but everyone is different. everyone has their own habits/stressors/triggers to look out for. i'd say there are things ian needs to limit/focus on beyond a drink or two. idk it sometimes feels like s5 is the only basis for understanding bipolar disorder for some - when it takes many, many forms... even in the same person!

but holy shit, that said - shameless just forgets about ian managing his disorder. we see him pop his meds like once a season and we're all like 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳 okay cool guess he's maintaining? it's just a balance ya know? it does take everyday work. i think ian can have a beer or two bc he's doing well - shameless thinks he can have a beer or two bc they forget about his brain 😅 like i saw him knocking back liquor in the finale - that's different the beers he hangs out with.

and because shameless really only shows us the bigger, scarier end of the spectrum, we don't quite have a grasp on how ian does day to day. as fic writers/headcanon imaginers, we kinda fill in those gaps ourselves.

whoops, this kinda turned in to a rant. i could go on, but i'll Shut Up. one day i'm gonna write a whole ass guide: "so, you wanna write about bipolar?" i have lots of quirks about things i read askfhaj

friendly reminder these are just my thoughts, i don't speak for every bipolar person, etc!