#kinda just like relationship maintenance and i have no idea how to pull back

[urbanfiltered]

👎🏼

[angelplummie]

Okay so like for starterssssss, I love getting represented as a chubby gal 🥺🥺 so I love you for writing that last Oikawa imagineeeee 😩😩😩

Soooo, I was wondering if I could request a plus size reader that really likes Kuroo, (and he’s like a super cliché bad boy🤰🏽) but he’s too embarrassed to be seen with Y/n. So she starts to hit on his friend or try to make him jealous. (I want you to add your own little idea here! But likeee, make her a baddie 😘😘)

Thanks baby 😚

HE’S A SCUMBAG DON’T YOU KNOW

KUROO X CHUBBY F!READER

Angsty?? kinda, a pinch of suggestive stuff

masterlist

post girlboss was referring to

a/n:i decided to go for emo / anger issues / definitely has punched a hole in his wall kuroo, just cuz i love writing losers, and i love seeing grown men cry. reader is like 20/21 just like college age yk, kuroo is 23 as stated in fic. p.s where my artic monkey hoes at

warnings: swearing, mentions of sex n specific sexual acts, suggestive stuff, uhhh bad boy but he’s not a (bad boy) he’s just a (bad) (boy) he’s just no good, like no fr never date guys like this, he may SEEM COOL and give you the dick but girl you will be so embarrassed once u realised u gave up the kitty for a man that genuinely believes tame impala and mac demarco are unheard of and calls himself an empath even though he’s mean to his mum every time she comes over to help with the laundry and has manipulated every girl he’s ever been in the vicinity of but i digress! on with the story!

“Kuroo-!” you yelped in surprised, bed bouncing beneath you. The second he had thrown you down, he ripped off his shirt and made a noise of frustration when he couldn’t shed his skinny jeans fast enough. Brows furrowed, he began hopping furiously to yank them off.

You laughed, much to his annoyance.

“You’re gonna hurt yourself if you keep up with that. What’s the rush?”

He sighed, and carefully pulled them off his ankles. Standing up straight, he seemed to have composed himself, with that cocky smirk on his rugged face. Your eyes trailed down his lean, long body. It was all you could do not to scream, he was so gorgeous. He took a few sweeping steps to where you lay, and got right on top of you, hands either side of your head. His eyes bore into you, it made you squirm internally, not that you would ever admit it.

“Just want you so bad, kitten.”

You barked out a laugh as if your heart didn’t jolt at his stupid pet name. It was such a stupid name, but coming from him it made you melt. Again, not like you’d ever admit it.

“Ew, Tetsu don’t call me kitten, it’s cr-“

He cut you off by leaning down and kissing you, you could feel his snake bites against your bottom lip. He groaned softly, shoving his tongue down your throat. He tasted like his sour apple vape, and his hair was soft when you ran your fingers through it. You could barely contain your butterflies, eyes squeezed closed.

“Come on babe, you know you like it.”

No matter how many times you and Kuroo hung out, it always felt so fresh. Maybe it was because he was exciting, or because he was a little bit wild, you didn’t know.

He leaned down closer to you, getting on his elbows, deepening the kiss. He pulled away and smirked at your breathlessness. With a slender, ring adorned hand, he reached beneath your top and cupped your tits over your bra. He gave them a sharp squeeze and started placing chaste kisses on your neck. He was considerate like that, didn’t leave hickeys because he knew they’d be hard to cover for you. He groaned as he jiggled the fat of your boobs in his hands,

“God, you have the nicest tits, babe.”

You had been dating for nearly 3 months now, if that was what it was. To be honest, you weren’t really sure what you were. You hang out all the time at his or your place, there was rarely a time when you didn’t have an ache between your legs, one way or another. He didn’t really take you on ‘dates’ but chatting to him was fun in itself, you didn’t need to go out to do that. He didn’t necessarily say romantic stuff either... but he didn’t not say romantic stuff either? He beat up your ex at a party one time! That had to mean something right? He exactly wouldn’t tell you how he felt but he showed you, kissing your cheek or tilting your chin up to look at him or kissing your neck or feeling you up. But that usually led to sex, so you couldn’t be certain. It wasn’t like you only screwed though, you watched your favourite movies together... although the last couple times he just started fingering you. You showed him your playlists? No no, he showed you his playlists, his sex playlists. There seemed to be a common theme here. But... there were times, afterwards, when he would pull in you so tight, tell you how good you were for him, how well you did, how pretty you looked. Any doubts you had were gone after a few hushed words on his tobacco reeking rickety old bed. You’d never really had a relationship like this before, but you assumed it was just because Kuroo was so chill. You were probably boyfriend and girlfriend, he just didn’t feel the need to announce it, he was laidback like that. So what if you guys had a lot of sex? Weren’t you a new couple? Wasn’t this just the honeymoon stage were you can’t get your hands off each other? You didn’t want to seem high maintenance and nag, so you let it be. He was sweet enough to you, right now everything was good.

Until it wasn’t.

A clatter sounded downstairs, the door slamming open against the hallway wall.

“Kuroo! Hey man, I brought some California!”, a voice called from bellow.

Kuroo broke away immediately, spit trailing from your neck to his pink lips.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit,” Kuroo mumbled, pushing off the bed and scrambling the pick up his discarded clothes and shove them back on.

You sat up, disgruntled, rearranging your bra strap from were he’d kneaded at it.

“What’s wrong? Who is that?”

He shot you a glance before continuing to yank back on his jeans.

“Uh, so change of plan, I can’t do tonight. I need you to go home. Discreetly.”

What?

“What? Tetsu, I’m already here,” you scoffed.

What was going on?

Why was he acting like this?

You had never seen him so... frantic.

“I know babe, and I’m really sorry about that, but my friends are here early than I said.”

“So? Can’t I meet your friends?”

He didn’t reply for a moment, just let out an exasperated breath, zipping up his fly.

“Well, yeah you can meet them, just not with me. I don’t want them knowing that I-“

He cut himself off, but you had heard enough to understand.

There was a beat of silence, only disturbed by Kuroo’s friends calling for him.

Your mouth hung open, and you scoffed in shock.

You shouldn’t be surprised really. It’s so obvious now that you think about it. So that’s what this was. That explains everything. He didn’t really like you, he was just using you. That’s why he didn’t take you anywhere, or why he didn’t show you he cared. It was because he didn’t. He wasn’t “afraid of getting close to people” or “emotionally distant”, he was just upfront about not giving two shits about you aside from your vagina. I guess he didn’t want his friends to know he was furiously screwing a fat girl any chance he got. He was embarrassed of you. You were something to be ashamed of. Your stomach jerked as you got to your feet. You were pissed, but that didn’t mean it didn’t really hurt. You had liked him. A lot.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

You could see the panic in his eyes, it was quite funny actually. Of course you new what it meant, but it still made you feel a little better to watch his eyes widen like that, to hold a shred of power over him.

“I mean- well I didn’t- come on babe you know I didn’t mean it like that-“ he laughed nervously, not noticing the footsteps in the landing. You rolled your eyes. You may have been naive, but you certainly weren’t going to fall for his shit again. Whatever he spouted.

“Don’t give me that bullshit. Just say it, your embarrassed of me.”

“Y/N, please, don’t you think-“

Two men burst through the door, one with spiked grey hair and one with fluffy black hair.

“Kuroo! What the hell are you doing up here we’ve been-“ the grey haired one, stopped when his eyes went from a shirtless Kuroo to you.

Your eyes flickered to Kuroo, he looked mortified.

“Ah. I see. Well, Akaashi, we better give these two some time, we can just-“

“Oh no, I was just leaving,” you grabbed your jacket from on top of his chest of drawers and turned back to the two men, putting on a big smile, adrenaline and fury spurring you on.

“I’m Y/N, by the way.”

Your eyes shot to Kuroo, who looking like get was about to shit himself.

“You probably haven’t heard of me, me and Kuroo have actually been having sex for three months. He kept it a secret because he’s embarrassed of me. We should hang out soon though!”

“Y/N-!” Kuroo yelled, exasperation clear in his tone, but you were already descending the stairs.

He came into the hall, hands rubbing his temples.

“Y/N just come talk for a second, I can-“

But he was cut off by the door slamming.

You got in your car parked outside and sped away.

The whir of the engine and the monotony of the roads cleared your mind a bit, a mist of anger still remaining.

You can’t believe you let yourself be tricked. you were a fully grown woman, but you had been reeled in hook, line and sinker. Not only had you been reeled in, you have been reeled in by a man that still had tik tok LED lights in his room and a fucking monster can collection at the age of 24 fucking years old. The more you thought about him, the more you realised how much of an emo loser he was. Of course you were still hurting, but it was more of the angry hurt you feel when it turns out your crush is homophobic or something (been there done that, don’t ask). He was a waste of oxygen, you had decided by the time you made it back to your apartment. A waste of perfectly good space that could most definitely not get the kitty anymore. You got inside your house, pulled on some comfies and got on facetime with your friends.You told them all about what happened, and they passionately bitched about him with you, confirming your suspicion that they never liked him in the first place. They also told you to forget about his existence, he wasn’t worth a slither of your brain power, he was dirt compared to you. All in all, you felt marginally better, saying goodbye to your friends while they still giggled about how stupid Kuroo’s hair was.

This was just a speed bump, you thought as you tucked yourself into bed, you would get over this.

Fast.

“Who’s Bokuto been talking to all night?” Yamamoto leaned over to ask Lev, shouting over the blaring music.

It was a week after you had thrown Kuroo to the curb, and he was out with a couple of volleyball friends, some from Nekoma, but there was also Bokuto with them.

“I’m not sure. I think it’s Y/N something? She’s in class. She’s pretty chill.”

Kuroo’s ears perked up, and he turned around to face his friends up against the bar.

“Bokuto’s talking to who?” he said through gritted teeth.

“Y/N. She goes to my-“

“I know who Y/N is,” kuroo snapped, taking a swig of the beer in his hand and scanning the dance floor for either one of you. He found bokuto first, shoulder against the wall, holding a drink as he leant down to have you whisper something in his ear. That’s when Kuroo paid attention to you. You looked... you looked gorgeous. He felt jealousy creep up inside him. How many times had you been out looking like that since you broke things off? How many guys had you slept with since? How dare Bokuto chat you up when he knew you two had been a thing? Wasn’t he meant to be Kuroo’s friend? As Kuroo wound himself up, you and bokuto continued your extremely pleasant conversation.

“I just wanna say, sorry about Kuroo. He’s a real bonehead, but we’ve been friends since high school so I can’t ditch him.”

You snorted into your cocktail.

“What?”

“Bonehead?”

He frowned and straightened up indignantly.

“Yeah, and? What’s wrong with bonehead?”

“No no, nothing, it’s just very Legally Blonde.”

He beamed down at you.

“I love Legally Blonde!”

“You do? Me too!”

This big beefy man was very cute, you had been talking for nearly three hours now, but you never ran out of things to say. And, aside from the obligatory introduction compliments, he had not made any move to try and get you into a wendy’s bathroom as quick as possible, which you couldn’t say of yours and kuroo’s first meeting.

He had dreamy eyes, you noted as he smiled for the nth time that night.

“Whose your favourite-?”

“What the fuck are you doing man?”

You glanced scathingly over to the familiar face of your old fling.

“What?” Bokuto asked back, clearly done with his friends bad boy shtick.

“Why are you talking to her when... when you know?”

“What’s there to know? I’m talking to her because I want to, and she wants to.”

He looked over to you for approval.

“Right?”

You nodded, a little nervous. You hated Kuroo’s guts, but you knew how weirdly possessive he was, you didn’t wanna cause trouble for Bokuto.

“See? Now I don’t think she wants to see you, right?”

He looked at you again. You nodded again.

“Ok? You guys are over, now are we done?”

Kuroo huffed. His eyes flitted from Bokuto to you, remembering you were there most likely, and he scowled.

“No, we aren’t done, what are you trying to pull anyway? Trying to piss me off by talking to someone I know? Are you really that petty? Well, your little plan is working, so just-just stop, ok?”

You felt like screaming. You had just come out here to have a nice time, not listen to Kuroo’s narcissistic whining.

“Can you just fuck off? Was I not clear enough or something? You’re dead to me, Kuroo. I’m just trying to have a nice night.”

Kuroo’s mouth gaped open. He had never been spoken to like that, never. He clenched his fists at his sides and his glare intensified.

“You’re lucky I gave you the time of day, fat ugly slut.”

He grabbed Bokuto’s shoulder roughly, turning him to face him completely.

“Hey man, thanks for clearing up my sloppy seconds, really good of you. Good to know I’ve got great friends like you.”

Those were the last things out of Kuroo’s mouth before bokuto landed a punch on his cheek, knocking him to the ground.

“You’re a fucking asshole man,” Bokuto grunted.

He stepped over where Kuroo lay, and held out a hand for you to step over too. You took it quietly and trailed along behind him to the door, fingers still locked. His hands were warm, and big. Kuroo’s face must hurt right now. The thought made you smile. He held the door open for you before sighing, resting his back against the wall. You stood in front of him, twiddling with your fingers.

“I am so sorry about that,” You apologised, embarrassed and shaken by the scene Kuroo had made, “I shouldn’t have wound him up, and I shouldn’t have talked to you after I knew you guys were friends, I promise I didn’t mean to start anything.”

“Don’t be, if anything I’m sorry for not making him leave right away. And either way,” he gently reached for your hand again, and you let him take it,”I’m glad you talked to me. I’d like it if you talked to me even more.”

DISCLAIMER FOR KUROO STANS!!!! I DONT THINK HIS HAIR IS STUPID!!! it’s just when ur bestie is going thru a break up or anything entailing a male you shit talk everything about him to high hell, doesn’t matter if he’s the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen. also i have no ill will towards kuroo nor any of the characters i write shit bag fan fics about i just like to complain any way i hope you enjoyed! reblogs and replies always appreciated!!!

[avocadoleaf]

Quest Fluff Alphabet

Content Warning: Fem reader, talk of having a family with children, little bits of angst here and there.

Enjoy :). Oh, requests are open, I'd love to hear your ideas!

A Affection- He is a bit shy when it comes to physical affection, terrified of intimidating you or doing something you aren’t fully comfortable with him doing. However, he is always thrilled to continue on any affection you initiate. He will never be the first to let go in a hug or break the kiss. He fully tries to live in these moments as possible, just in case he won’t be able to experience it again for a while. He really treasures any time that he can be physically affectionate with you. One form of affection that he will initiate with you is doing your hair. Regardless of your hair type, he knows that it can be tiring to keep your hands above your head for an extended period of time, so he steps in to help you out.

B Best friend- He’s honestly the greatest best friend in the entire world. He respects your boundaries, honors your efforts, and forgives your shortcomings. He is endlessly kind and understanding with you, and loves that he can receive that same treatment. If he had feelings for you, he would be the best of the love interests at concealing them from you. He would do his best to be supportive of you when you get into relationships, but always wonder what could’ve been if he was just brave enough to tell you how he feels. Nevertheless, he will swallow his feelings for your happiness, even if the weight of them drags him down for the rest of his life.

C Cuddles- He likes it when you come sit on his lap while he’s at his desk or working at the kitchen table. You help him remove himself from the struggles of his day-to-day life and live in a more peaceful, loving way. The way you run your nails up and down his arms sends goosebumps up and down his spine, and he will just pull you into a very tight hug, rubbing your back in silence.

D Domestic- You will never see the inside of a car shop ever again. Quest takes care of car maintenance for the both of you. He loves how surprised you seem when he wipes off oil from his hands and kisses you, telling you that your oil was changed. He laughs at the way you stutter out questions. He eventually shows you how to do it yourself, mostly because he loves seeing you look to him for approval. He likes being able to teach you things.

E Expression- He expresses love through his actions more so than anything else. He enjoys the way your shoulders relax a bit when he tells you a chore you dread doing has been done for you, giggling at how earnestly you thank him. He just doesn’t want to add stress to your life in any way and works hard to make your home a safe and comfortable place for you.

F Favorite- His favorite thing about you is your gentleness. He sees that you look at him with completely fresh eyes, no attention paid to his life before you, and yet you still understand where the line is for him. Though you pay no judgement to where his scars came from, he still sees how gently you run your hands over them, how you treat his tattoos as simple art beyond where they came from. He loves that you love him with no judgement, just kind understanding.

G Gentle- Makes the greatest effort in the world to be gentle with you. He may not even mess around with you too much because he’d be afraid to accidentally injure you in the process. Any thing he does to mess with you is gentle too, like picking you up or tickling your sides. He won’t wrestle with you like the others do, but he still loves to bring fun into both of your lives.

H Hugs- He loves to pick you up and spin you around, especially when you’re wearing a long skirt. He just thinks that little squeak of surprise and then your sweet giggle afterwards are the greatest things in the entire world. Sets you down and kisses you deeply before taking your hand to lead you on your next outing together.

I “I love you”- The first time he says, “I love you”, he kinda just blurts it out randomly. There was nothing that prompted it in particular, almost like it came out his mouth the first moment he thought about it. You were a bit caught off guard and were faced with the reality that you weren’t ready to say it back.

“Oh, uh, thank you” you stutter out. His face drops a bit at your reaction, seeing how uncomfortable you are.

“I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have-“

“No, quest, it’s okay. It’s just that those words mean a lot to me, and I don’t want to just say it when I don’t mean it. I think I’m gonna need a bit of extra time to say it, given all the stuff that happened in my past. I just need a second. Thank you for telling me though.” You pause, heart sinking at his face. “I like you a lot. Like a lot a lot. And I couldn’t be more thrilled that you love me. I can’t wait until I can tell you that I do too, because I know that it’ll happen. Just wait for me. Please?”

He smiles at you, a bit disappointed but no less in love, “For you, I’d wait forever.”

J Jealousy- Quest hurts his own damn feelings sometimes. You’re laying on his chest, after a nice date together. He thinks about how perfect you are to him, so wonderful and beautiful and sweet. And you’re exactly his type! Wait, is he your type?

“Angel?”

“Yes, baby?’

“What’s your type?” he asks, rubbing your back.

“I like brown hair, blue eyes. It’s nice when they’re tall. I like smart guys too,” you say, not looking away from your phone.

“Oh, okay,” he smiles, pleased that he fits your type. “Wait, would you leave me for someone else who looks like that?”

“Quest, you look like that.”

“Yeah, but what if you find someone else who looks like that, but without the tattoos?”

“I like your tattoos.”

“Okay, looks like me and has my tattoos, but none of the scars.”

“I like your scars.”

“Okay, he has my scars and tattoos and looks exactly the same-“

“Baby?”

“Yes, Angel.”

“Please be quiet.”

K Kiss- Stops you in the middle of your day while you’re running around.

“Angel, come here for a second.” You walk up to him, and he pulls you into a kiss. Not a peck, but a soul-stealing kiss. He holds you tight, and pulls back, pecking one more time before saying “That’s all” and walking away. He always leaves you there stunned; a bit unable to go on without at least one more of those kisses.

L Little ones- A wonderful father. When your baby was first born, he cradled her in one of his arms so tenderly before beginning to sob. This strong, stoic man that you had come to love desperately over the past years together was reduced to tears by this sweet little girl. He had dreams of that classic life, a wife and kids, but that all seemed to evaporate when he was in jail. But then, he met you, and all of that changed. Here you were, now parents to the sweetest little girl in the world. And your blessings were only multiplied by the three other beautiful baby girls you brought into his life. He loves nothing more than having tea parties and ballet classes with his girls, but also teaches them to be assertive individuals. He protects them all fiercely, as well as their mother, the person who made his life complete.

M Mornings- Mornings are the time for you as a couple. He typically comes back from work after you’ve gone to bed, exhausted from your day. He wakes up with you, even though he should be sleeping to get ready for his day later. He cuddles with you for as long as he can, complaining about how cold he is when you eventually wriggle free from his arms. He watches you get ready from your bed, smiling when you wiggle your fingers as you’re looking for something. He wraps you up in a hug when you leave and waves from the door until you’re out of sight. He tidies up the house a bit before going back to sleep.

N Nights- Quest comes back to you already asleep most nights. He sits on the bed and rubs your arm, causing you to stir. You smile at him and he leans down to give you a kiss. He lets you drift back to sleep as he takes a shower and eats the plate you left out for him. He crawls into bed and pulls you close to him, kissing the back of your neck before going to sleep.

O Open- He does his best to be open with you about whatever he’s feeling, but his past does remain behind closed doors. It’s not that he doesn’t trust you enough to tell you, he just wants to protect you from the reality of things he’s seen.

P Patience- Quest is a very patient man. He has worked hard to preserve peace in his life, so very little will cause him to waiver from a state of calm. If anything does irritate him or otherwise try his patience too much, he has the self-control to leave the situation before he gets too upset.

Q Questions- Remembers the big things, but little things may slip through the cracks. Rest assured though, he does love to do small things for you, it’s just that he might forget that you prefer red vines to twizzlers. He is a pretty busy man, but always makes his best effort to make you feel appreciated in little ways. Rather than giving you things, he remembers things that you dislike doing, and takes those off your plate for you.

R Remember- The day he got off the plane, he was so nervous to see you. All that melted away when he saw you standing there. He swallowed and approached you, and you joked about how happy you were to see each other. The drive back to your place was pleasant, all be it a bit tense. All of it melted away though when you stepped inside and launched yourself into his arms. He laughed and staggered back a bit, holding you tightly against himself. You whisper “I love you” in his ear and he freezes. He pulls back and looks at you.

“Really?” you nod shyly, so happy to be able to tell him for the first time in person. He picks you up, spinning you laughing until he falls onto the couch, still holding you. He looks at you beneath him, hair messy and chest heaving. You’re so beautiful. He kisses you so intensely, pulling back after a second. He realizes that you two had just kissed for the first time and curses himself for not making it a bit more romantic. You don’t seem to mind though, pulling him in for a second, followed by many, many more.

S Security- Quest dislikes how people tend to be scared of it, but finds a silver lining in it because it allows him to keep you safe. Whenever you’re around him, all your worries and fears seem to melt away. People who bother you wither away when he walks up behind you. You always leap into his arms after, thanking him for helping you. He presses a kiss to your lips, “anytime, my love.”

T Try- Does his best. It may seem like a small thing, but he really tries to simplify your day, every day. It may not be a grand gesture, and he may not be able to do crazy things with you or for you like the others can, but he really tries to show you how grateful he is to love and be loved by you.

U Usual- Neither of you get a full night’s sleep. You both wake up halfway through to see the other person, you at 2 AM when Quest comes home from work and him at 7 when you leave. He makes sure to text and call you when he has time so that the time apart isn’t as difficult.

V Vanity- He is actually more insecure than you would think about his scars. He feels like maybe he isn’t attractive enough to be next to you or that, at some point, you will be embarrassed by the way he looks. He also struggles a bit with the way his body looks, as mentioned in previous letters, he’s scared that his figure is too intimidating, but also wants to be able to protect you and your family. It causes a decent amount of internal struggle for him.

W Whole- You have given his life back to him. Without you, Quest would continue to live in his self-punishing way, wishing desperately for the chance to have a new life with new possibilities. Well, even though you can’t undo the past nor clear the way for a perfect future like it had never happened, you give him purpose and meaning in his life, which is more than he could’ve asked for.

X Xtra- Valentine’s Day is a mess in your house. The night before, you prepare the dishes for a really nice breakfast in bed together. Satisfied with your plan, you head to bed with him and think nothing of it. The next morning, you wake up without him beside you, but hear the front door open. He went out and got breakfast for you and held the bags up in celebration. Your face drops a bit as you help him with the bags. He holds your face with worry, wondering if he had done something wrong. You gently grab his hand and lead him to the kitchen where you had also prepared breakfast for him, and the two of you laugh. The rest of the morning (and a good chunk of the afternoon) is spent in bed together, trying each dish with each other while watching cheesy romance movies.

Y Yum- He was very used to processed food and take-out before you started living together, too tired most nights to cook for himself. He is always so thankful when he gets to come home to a warm, homecooked meal, even though he doesn’t typically get to share it with you. He doesn’t have a super high spice tolerance, but he enjoys a well-seasoned meal. Maybe a little picky when it comes to new foods, just give him a sandwich and he’ll be happy.

Z Zzz- He gets too hot to cuddle you while asleep. Will probably spoon with you until you fall asleep before turning over but will periodically wake-up briefly to make sure you’re still there. He dreams of you often, much to his delight.

[actualbird]

Your new fic has got me thinking about vibrators for each of the boys and how they'd react to it in them what have you done zak-

n/s//f///w text

hello, anons 1 and 2!! it seems that both of u were Awakened by my fic, "product testing is important for the d (the d stands for data) (it also stands for dick)" cuz these asks were sent back when i had just posted that and im oNLY GETTING TO RESPONDING MONTHS LATER, IM V FORGETFUL. but im glad u were Awakened cuz

i have Thoughts

would this member of the nxx team (assumed single, cuz in a relationship i hc things would change a bit) own sex toys? if yes, what kind?

wc: 1.5k lol

-

mc: yes, cuz she deserves to treat herself

mc went through the trials and tribulations of LAW SCHOOL and so she must have gone thru inhumane levels of stress. so shes got some toys. she needed them for good orgasms so she could stay SANE

i think in college, when she was still staying in a dorm with a roommate, she wouldve first gotten a small bullet vibe. the ones that are either a super inconspicuous design (i.e. designed to look like a tube of lipstick or etc.) or just really cute (i.e. bunny ear bullet vibes in a pastel color). this is cuz in the beginning she was RLLY EMBARRASSED ABOUT HAVING A VIBE and thus wanted it to be teeny tiny and easy to hide from her roommates

(sidenote about lipstick vibe: it would be HILARIOUS if mc has a lipstick vibe and accidentally mistakes the vibe for the lipstick tranquilizer gun luke gave her. one day, luke asks her to take the tranq gun out and fire a shot at the wall so he can see if theres anything he needs to do maintenance on on the gadget so she pulls out the lipstick object in her bag, presses the button and

it just starts buzzing

luke, beginning to blush: uhhhh

mc, shoving the vibe back in her bag: WHAT!!! NOTHING!!!!!!! STOP LOOKING AT ME, IM GOING FOR A WALK, NEVER SPEAK OF THIS!!!!)

later, when shes got her own place, she indulges and gets a better and bigger vibe. the trusty bullet can only get her so far, and shes in a new stage of her life: the employment under late stage capitalism

she needs better orgasms to stay sane thru that

for reactions to sex toys: in the beginning, she probably was having trouble figuring out how to use em to achieve the Good Orgasms, but after some practice and exploration, she gets the hang of it. usually goes for a destressing sex toy masturbation experience as opposed to aiming for something earth shattering. orgasms as a metaphorical glass of warm milk before bed, kinda. but it's a metaphorical glass of cummies

-

artem wing: no, cuz he's just not interested in that kinda stuff right now

while artem also went thru law school, i posit this guy does not own a single sex toy. nothing. nada. none.

i hc artem as demi and bi and like, he KNOWS OF sex toys but they honestly just didnt interest him cuz sexual pleasure didnt interest him that much. artem is well aware that being demisexual is irt the lack of sexual attraction towards another person lest theres a solid emotional connection but hes not gung ho about exploring sexual pleasure too much on his own as well cuz it's like...like how he thinks movies are more fun to watch with someone else even when enjoying the experience by yourself is completely possible.

so as long as hes single, hes just kinda "meh" at the idea of sex toys as a whole, will jack off the old fashioned way if ever the horny hits

the only time artem is gonna be in the premises of a sex toy is once he's fallen in love and in a relationship and if his lover brings it up. but thats past the scope of this hc post, so we move on

-

vyn richter: yes, cuz indulgence makes life beautiful also his high standards make for a Very discerning sex toy consumer

vyn has such upscale tastes in terms of interests: wines, vintage vinyls, tea that i am assuming is just the BEST and also expensive, and on and on it goes. vyn enjoys INDULGENCE and GOOD FOR HIM because enjoying what the world can offer is truly something that makes life worth living

and the world offers sex toys too and hes like "well, do not mind if i do"

however, vyn's standards are HIGH. in SSR Food For Thought, he was an absolutely merciless and scathing wine taster. i like to think this goes for a lot of the stuff hes into, if hes gonna indulge, he wants the Good Stuff, the BEST STUFF he can get his hands on

he only purchases sex toys that have unilateral good and detailed reviews and if hes unsatisfied, hes GONNA WRITE AN (ANONYMOUS) REVIEW DRAGGING IT on the toy's site. 0/10, would not use for orgasm again 💅

aligned with the indulgence thing, vyn is going after orgasms that are a bit more drawn out. not exaaactly edging or orgasm denial but close to it cuz prolonging the experience makes for 1) more time enjoying himself, 2) delayed gratification orgasms are scrumptious.

with that in mind, i figure vyn has maybe owns one or two Dedicated Favorite toys. cuz if it doesnt pass his standards of good quality and a nice drawn out experience, hes just not keeping it, bye bye subpar dildo!

-

marius von hagen: yes, cuz hes a filthy whore with the added buff of being FILTHY RICH

marius is a lot like vyn in the sense that hes got high standards (when ur rich and have the capability to splurge on stuff, that Stuff has gotta be Good) and is also game for indulgence. but the difference with marius is that hes way more shameless about it, hes inching past indulgence and into vague and unapologetic sexy hedonism

i Cannot fault him for this, his life is STRESSFUL so honestly you go, marius. get them cummies.

also, related to the fic that sparked both these questions: i do hc that pax has a sex toy brand that makes Super great products and marius is all about supporting pax ventures!!!! even the ones thatll go in his butt.

i think that marius would be the type to go for As Many Orgasms As He Can Possibly Have. marathon masturbation for this dude, when the mood hits.

and to do that, he'd need diff kinds of toys cuz if he keeps using a fleshlight the entire time, his dick will feel like it's chafing even with all the high end lube easing the way. so hes got a Bunch of stuff. not an extensive collection or anything, but at least one of Thing That Provides Specific Stimulation (fleshlight, dildo, vibe, maybe some kinkier stuff he would much rather be using along with a partner but until then he'll live using the nip clamps on himself)

-

luke pearce: no, cuz he 1) hates himself too much and 2) mc's parents may or may not have accidentally instilled a biiiiiit too much well meaning scare tactics on him as a teenager

the "he hates himself" bit is pretty self explanatory: luke pearce has the unfortunate tendency of denying himself good things because he thinks hes a No Good, Very Bad person. ive used this in 2943842 ways for angst but for comedy, itll lead to this. he does not have a sex toy cuz his self loathing is just THAT BAD. like HUH? HIM? MAKE HIMSELF FEEL GOOD???? that actually makes him feel BAD!!

i can forsee that many, many times luke has tried to jerk off just for stress relief but then his self loathing mental block was so strong it blocked the mental aspect of reaching an orgasm. this poor dude. love urself. accept urself

the SECOND bit is a hilarious concept i bounced around with beck once where like...what if mc's parents had a double standard, with how they raised luke compared to mc

cuz listen, mc's parents love both mc and luke very much!!! but also, yknow, parents have the tendency to be wary of Boys when theyve got an only child Girl

and This Boy LIVES WITH THEM

so fast forward to when mc and luke are going thru teen puberty and they both have to get The Talk and variations of thereof

and towards a teenage!mc theyre like "of course making yourself feel good is okay, and sex is okay too! but for now, focus on your studies, theres plenty of time for relationships in the future, but if you do want to pursue something on your own, make sure you do it safely because we love you <3"

and then towards a teenage!luke theyre like "hey. we're watching you we love you but we're watching."

this + luke's bedrock of self loathing = mc's parents, in their mission to keep their wonderful daughter safe, may have accidentally had a hand in making luke pearce among the most sexually repressed individuals on the planet

so uh. no. i dont think luke has sex toys. because i dont even think he reaches orgasm 60% of the time he decides to jerk it JHVAKJHSFKAJSHFAK

-

and these r my takes!!! i realize that for an hc post talking about sex toys, this post is like 0% sexy JKBKJKJKJFASKFJASF

[isagisyoichi]

BREAK YOUR RULES!

synopsis: nagi as your boyfriend

characters included: nagi seishiro

warnings: swearing, gender neutral reader, nagi is a little shit

a/n: bye i’ve had this in my drafts for like months and i remembered it existed like last week LOL enjoy nagi stans

for: nagi’s goth gf @sun9rin 🥰🥸💗

i feel like your relationship with nagi would be relatively chill and low maintenance. i really don’t see nagi being this overly romantic person or whatever 

so basically, just expect nagi to act as your best friend who kisses you sometimes lol

onto your actual relationship-

cuddle sessions and naps together are definitely a thing between you two. having nagi’s arms wrapped around you as you drift to sleep makes you feel so safe and content. not to mention that nagi runs warm, so it’s like cuddling with a heated blanket.

but also, nagi’s a huge baby so he gets all whiny when you have to get up for anything LOL

“seishirou, i literally will piss on your bed, let me pee”

nagi, with his arms still wrapped around you, squeezing you tighter: “no i’m good”

dates with nagi are lowkey and causal- they’re mostly at his house or yours, or maybe he’ll take you on a walk around a park if he’s feeling it that day, but he’s really not the type to go on extravagant dates

however, if nagi really wants to put in some effort into a date, he’ll take you to an arcade, because of course he would

nagi will pay for everything, like food, coins, etc, expect that he will crack a joke about you being a gold digger here and there LOL

but still, it is really fun!!! you guys both feel like little kids again, and the glimmer and excitement in your eyes, and the way you laugh wholeheartedly out of joy makes it all worth it to nagi

nagi even indulges you by taking pictures with you in the photobooth the arcade offers.

(he keeps one of the pictures you guys took in his wallet <3)

but, if you end up wanting to playing a game where you have to play against nagi, he beats you every time with no mercy ⋋_⋌

but also, he makes up for it by letting you use all his tickets to get whatever you want at the prize counter. make his pockets hurt!!

“i still think you went overboard with the prizes.”

you, with six plushies in your arms, and two more that nagi’s holding: “i have no idea what you’re talking about, sei.”

nagi also offers to teach you how to play video games !!!! please say yes, he just wants to do one of his favorite things with his favorite person ;__;

he’s actually very sweet when he teaches you. he has you sit on his lap as he teaches you how to play, and guides your hands using his as you try to get the hang of the controller

he kisses your forehead as a reward for when you’re doing well, or when you need some motivation when a boss is kicking your ass 

when you get good enough to play with him, nagi always pulls some dirty shit to win: like kissing you out of nowhere or lightly pushing you with his side to break your concentration 

i mean, he was probably gonna win anyways LMAO but he just likes agitating you

if you can’t come over, nagi’ll facetime you as he plays. he doesn’t talk that much while on the phone because he’s “concentrating,” but he does like your presence.

if you hang up because he wasn’t talking, he gets all pissy, as if you two were actually having a conversation or something LOL

“why did you hang up” “you weren’t even talking to me” “so? call me back” like WHAT 

but also, if you fall asleep on facetime, when he eventually takes notice, nagi smiles at how cute you look and pauses his game to take screenshots for his “y/n is kinda cute i guess” album

nagi refuses to acknowledge this album’s existence, though

“aw, babe, do you have an album of just me?” 

“no, those are pictures of my dog.”

“you don’t even have a dog, you ass.”

nagi has totally asked you to buy the ps5 for him. don’t do it, don’t cave, i know he’s cute but don’t!!!

"for the last time, shiro, i am not buying you a ps5"

"you’re all are the same" yeah ok this is exactly why you’re not getting shit (¬_¬)

also, i hate to break it to you but he’s 6’2, very attractive, and a kickass soccer player, so he definitely has people all over him, i am so sorry

you trust him, so you don’t get jealous often, but it does help a lot that nagi’s so frank with his rejections

literally just says “i have a s/o,” when he realizes he’s getting a confession and just walks away, doesn’t even let them finish, very king shit of him! 

but on the rare occasions you do actually get jealous, nagi has the nerve to think it’s cute! men!

but after teasing you for a little, nagi always reassures you that you’re the only person that he could ever want and that’ll never change. 

and you know he’s telling you the truth because nagi’s always been so straightforward with his words and has never been one to shy away from saying the truth 

for someone that’s never had a relationship before (and, don’t get me wrong he definitely could have had one before, have you seen him? it’s just no one else has piqued his interest enough that he wanted pursue a relationship with them, so you’re pretty special to him), nagi’s a pretty good fucking kisser.

like, it literally makes you go like hmm  (￣、￣〃)  sounds fake but okay!

most of the time, his kisses are swift and chaste, opting to give you them on your forehead or cheek. 

but when gets serious, oh boy. 

every time without fail, he leaves your head spinning and your chest out of breath, and you just can’t help but want more each time. 

whether he actually gives you more depends on how he’s feeling that day (◣_◢)

i feel like this is a given but, reo’s around you guys a lot lol

sometimes he complains about being a third wheel like he’s not the one who invited himself to whatever you and nagi were doing 

but even so, reo does really like you. because not only do you make nagi happy, but you motivate him to play better during games, which helps reo’s whole “becoming the best in the world” agenda a lot, so in a way he wins too

speaking of nagi and (soccer, not virtual) games, he really does show out a little more when you attend. 

he doesn’t do anything crazy, but you know nagi well enough to tell he puts in a little more effort than usual when you're there. but he denies it when you bring it up LOL

for pet names, nagi just sticks with the classics, like “babe,” or maybe “baby,” if he’s feeling soft, but honestly he just probably gives you some kind of weird nickname like he did with barou, and uses that as his go-to. 

“hey, dookie pie.”

“i literally don’t like you, seishirou.”

but deep down, you prefer that because it’s special and just for you, you know? 

you may be a dookie pie but, you’re his dookie pie <3

nagi loves when you play with his hair! makes him feel at peace. like from time to time, nagi wordlessly grabs your hand and puts it on the top of his head and expects you to know where to go from there.

nagi would even let you tie up his hair into whatever weird styles you want as long as you’re playing with <3 he’d even post it on his finsta or private story on snapchat when you’re done, with some stupid caption like “fresh cut courtesy of y/n 🔥”

nagi’s a weird texter once you get to know him LMAO. like he’ll send you like the most random shit ever like two buildings or something and be like “us lol,” with no explanation whatsoever. like come back here! we need some elaboration!

and when he’s comfortable enough with you, he’s the type to talk to you about anything that comes to his mind, so you guys end up having some pretty weird late night convos

nagi, literally out of nowhere at 2am: “on god i hate walruses” you: “so true bae”

nagi probably first says “i love you” during the most random moment ever when he thinks you’re not listening 

plot twist: you were. and he says it so softly and fondly that you felt like you could melt right then and there.

you get a best friend and a boyfriend with him, so 20/10 definitely recommend, get yourself a nagi

[ramp-it-up]

Everyday

Pairing: Rafael Casal x Reader, Rafael Casal (as Miles Turner) x Reader

Warnings: MINORS DNI, 18 + , RPF. CURATE YOUR OWN EXPERIENCE. YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE IF YOU READ BELOW THE CUT. Cursing, drinking, allusion to smoking weed, fantasy, truth or dare, role play, SMUT, Graphic Depictions of Sex, oral sex (M/F receiving), a lil bit of bondage, established relationship, fantasy play.

A/N:  I have no idea what is for trade in prison; sex packets are a made up joke. And I’m really into 90’s rap this week. Anywho, this fic is in response to the following request:

Anonymous asked:

Rafa!!!!! Maybe a fluffy smut where he’s role playing Miles for you? 👀

-------

“Ok, Dare.”

You steeled yourself from the query from Daveed.

“Which fictional character, real or animated, would you like to bone?”

Everyone burst out laughing.

“Real or ANIMATED????”  

You were cracking up laughing and buzzed, feeling good surrounded by your crew of friends who were family.

“Ok, I will answer both.” 

Rafa cleared his throat and settled back on the couch beside you. 

You sat up straight and he watched the curve of your breasts underneath the Oaklandish tee you stole from him that morning.

“Rafael is getting swole! Don’t worry Rafa. She will still come home to your everyday ass.”

“Shut up, Ant. You always got something to say.” You rolled your eyes.  “Everyday with Rafa is amazing.”

You leaned over and kissed Rafa’s lips, which were in a slight frown.  He didn’t like that word, ‘everyday.’

“You good?” You whispered so only you two could hear.

He smiled at you, “No doubt. Answer the man’s question!” Rafa said a little louder, bravado on fleek.

“ANYWAYYY.”  You shook your head at him as you straightened up.  “Max could get it.”

“Max who?” Jasmine was confused.  Then she realized, then leaned over Ant and Rafa to give you a high five.

“Max Who???” Daveed was curious.

“Goofy’s son. Max.”  

Everyone erupted in laughter again. Daveed got up and took the bottle out of your hand. 

“Enough of this.” 

You battled him, jumping up and swatting around D’s head. You won your drink back and sat down.

“As far as ‘real’ fictional characters…” You took a drink. And smiled. All eyes were on you.

“Miles Turner could rearrange my guts.” 

Anthony groaned. Rafa sat up straight. You took another drink . 

“For Real. Ruffnecks kinda do it for me.”

“Gotta who? Gotta have a what?”  Jazzy started rapping. You replied.

“Gotta what? Yo, gotta get a ruffneck.” 

You two started dancing, rapping and singing with your drinks in your hands.

Gotta what? Yo, gotta get a ruffneck

Gotta what? Yo, gotta get a ruffneck

Gotta what? Yo, gotta get a ruffneck

I need it and I want it so I gotta get a ruffneck!

Rafael pulled you down to sit on his lap and Jasmine kept dancing, right in front of Anthony.

Anthony sucked his teeth, but was smiling at Jazzy’s ass. 

“That’s cheating. I mean. That’s just Rafa. I mean, he bones you on the regular.” 

Ant smacked Jasmine on the bottom and took a drink before she plopped down next to him and he put his arm around her.

“You know it!” Rafa and Anthony toasted. 

“But I ain’t Miles.”  

Rafa took another sip of his Abasolo on the rocks.

“And it’s just a fantasy. Right baby.”  

Rafael rubbed your back giving you a look that made you tremble. Rafa felt your warmth on his lap. He grinned into his drink.

“Trueeee!”  

You smiled, trying to keep it light and calm the fuck down. Everyone always made fun of you two smashing in people’s bathrooms.

“You aren’t Miles. I didn’t know you when you were younger....” 

You locked eyes with Rafael, and the green fire there did something to you.  

“I think Rafa is Miles’s wasted potential.”

“Wow. That’s deep,” said Ant from a cloud of smoke.

You and Rafa were locked in an eye embrace as well as a physical one.  When he arched his eyebrow, you had to look away, because you couldn’t take it.  

“Y’all need to use my bathroom?”  More laughter.

You and Rafa both flipped Daveed off. 

“Nah, Diggs.” Rafa stood up with you in his arms.  “We’ll use our own. We out.”  

Your man carried you willingly out of the door.

-----

About two weeks later, you came home with some groceries, you were looking forward to a night in with Rafa.

You’d both been busy and tired lately, only available for maintenance sex. 

Rafa was running around creating all of his creative shit, and you worked in the writers room of a popular series.  Life was hectic.

He was sitting at the kitchen table, hands together on top. 

He was wearing blue scrubs over a white Henley and had his face turned to the side, staring out the window. You noticed that his hair was different.

“Hey, babe. Did you get a haircut? What’s wrong?”

He turned his face toward you and that’s when you noticed two more things. Rafael’s eye was black, and there was a tattoo on his neck.

THAT California tattoo. 

You were very concerned and a little confused. Concern came first in your mind.

“What happened to your eye?”  He gave you a strange look, then he spoke.

“A mutha fucka sneaked me in the yard, that’s what happened!”  

You stood still and had to register what was happening.

Rafa was wearing a grill, and his voice was different, in a lower register  and with a long drawn out, almost southern drawl. 

But it wasn’t southern. It was all Bay.

He stood up and walked toward you, and you noticed that his scrubs had “Prisoner” written in yellow letters down the right leg. 

You suddenly realized what was going on. 

Oh, Shit.

“Baby. You’re a sight for sore eyes.  It’s been a minute.”  

You’d left Rafael in bed this morning.  But it seemed that you came home to Miles.

“Hey,” was all you could say. 

Rafael/Miles gestured for you to come over to the table.  It was then you saw that he was handcuffed. 

A strange feeling came over to you.  He stood up, and you saw that his legs were shackled.  You went close to him and looked at his eye closely.

“Rafa?”

His face was fine, up close, you could tell it was makeup.

“You been to see Galaxy today?”  

You were peering at his neck and the Bay/California tattoo there.

He screwed up his face.

“Who tha fuck is Rafa? And what the hell you talking ‘bout space for?” 

He peered into your eyes, then looked around furtively.

“Babe. Are you high?”

The drawl was a whisper now.

“These muthafuckas’ll kick you out if they think you got drugs on you.”

You smiled at him, pecked him on the lips and replied. 

“No worries. I’m not high.” You sat down at the kitchen table and ‘Miles’ sat across from you. 

“As for Rafa? He’s this guy I know.  Had a nice… conversation with him the other night.”  

You looked into his eyes to see if he would crack.  But your man was a pro.  

He huffed.  “Psshhht.  You MUST be high talking to another dude. What kinda name is Rafa anyway. Sounds like some hipster trash.”  

He peered at you again, anger radiating off of him.

Damn, he was good.

“Tell me what the fuck you mentioning some other muthafucka to my face while I’m locked up in here! Every day.” 

He pounded his bound fists on the table in front of you and made you jump.  It also made you wet as fuck.

He gestured with both hands (because they were handcuffed) to the nice kitchen that you loved to cook in, but that you were now seeing through his performance as a prison visitation room. 

But you were still shook.

“R, R, Rafael is a beautiful artist. He’s a poet. He’s gentle, and kind. And a wonderful lover.” 

Miles glared at you. You stuttered again.

“I-I imagine.”

He gave you a menacing smile and leaned back in the chair, pushing his crotch up in your direction.  Your eyes were drawn there.

“So you imagining fucking another muthafucka and decide to come visit me and tell me about it?”

You got into it.

“Well….I miss you Miles. But it gets hard. Not being able to be with you.”

He leaned forward, bearing his teeth.

“Don’t fucking tell me about it.  Here I am jacking off with leftover chicken grease from the kitchen at night.  Got my dick smelling like a Popeye’s chicken sandwich in this bitch.”

“Ew,” you said, disgusted, then you started giggling at the joke.

Miles pouted and sat back.

“ ‘S not fucking funny!”  He looked out the window again. 

“I shouldn’t even tell you about the surprise.”

You straightened up.  “What is it babe?”

You put your hand on his and he caressed yours with his thumb.  He looked at you, excited and mischievous now.

“I got us a conjugal visit.”

Your mouth dropped open, fully into it now.

“But I thought that was just for married couples, Miles…”

“I know, I know.” He leaned forward and looked around again.  “But I got me a side hustle.”

He shifted his eyes as he scanned the empty room.

“I make sex packets outta the leftover chicken grease from my job in the kitchen. Make a KILLING in oatmeal cream pies, ramen noodles, cigarettes and other tradeable currency.  I made enough to buy us a conjugal visit, girl.”

He leaned back, very satisfied with himself, his hands now on his lap, rubbing his crotch.  

Your eyes were drawn there again and you found yourself irrationally wondering how big his dick was. He had you caught up in this fantasy.

“Let’s go to the trailer and I’ll make you forget all about this Raja guy.” Miles winked at you.

“It’s…”  You saw the look on his face.  “Nevermind. Let’s go.” 

He stood up again, and shuffled his way to the bathroom, you at a safe distance behind him. 

He entered the bedroom and shuffled to the bed, sitting down on the edge. He gestured you to him and you went and stood before him.

He put his nose in your crotch.

“MMMmmmmm. I missed your smell Baby. It’s been too long. He lifted his hands and put them on the insides of your thighs. He pulled back and looked at you, green eyes staring into brown.

“The guards left the key over there. That is, if you wanna get me out of these.” He nodded toward the 

He trailed his hands up to your pelvis, managing to hook one set of fingers into your waistband and still have another at your apex.

He ran his fingers over your jeans right where it counts. This kind of petting felt good and made you want more. 

You let him play for a little while, but then pushed him back to sit and watch you. 

You peeled down your jeans to reveal a white satin thong. Rafael loved white against your coffee brown skin, but tonight, Miles would benefit. You stood there in your button-down shirt, that was really Rafael’s. 

Miles’s hands went to his crotch again as he eagerly watched.

“You seem to be doing pretty well all hemmed up, but let me see.”

You went to the dresser to retrieve the key, and you did, then turned around and put it in your mouth while you slowly unbuttoned the shirt.

Miles leaned back on the bed and opened his legs as far as the shackles would let them go, licking his lips as you disrobed.

You were wearing a white lace bra, your dark nipples and areola straining through the delicate material.  You were very excited at the entire scenario. 

The fact that Rafa was doing this for you because he remembered what you said on a drunken night weeks ago was the shit.

You dropped to the ground and crawled over to Miles’s feet jutting your ass up in the air as you unlocked the shackles.

You massaged his ankles and trailed your hands up his legs to his crotch, where you rubbed the hardness there.

“It’s been so long that you’ve been locked up, Miles.”

You raised up on your knees, loving the feeling of his eyes sweeping over you.

“I’m gonna give you the world’s best blowjob.”

Miles smiled at you.

“Aw, baby. That’s so cute.”

“I’ll show you cute.”

You were about to give your own performance.

------

Five minutes later, you were gargling his cock, relaxing your throat and taking him as deep as you could, nose nestled at his base, and gently pulling and kneading his balls.

Someone moaned, and you didn’t know if it was Rafa or Miles.  He bucked his hips up into your mouth while resting his cuffed hands in your hair.

“As much as I would love to … fuck baby… cum down your throat.. I need that… damn where’d you learn to do that?!... I need that pussy.  Unlock the cuffs, baby.”

His cuffed hands were in your hair, alternating between massaging your scalp and pulling your hair the way you loved it. 

The way Rafael invented. 

You smiled around his cock with the knowledge that what you were doing was making him slip out of character.

You pulled your head upward, mouth open, allowing the saliva to trickle out with his dick. 

He looked at you like he couldn’t believe how nasty you were being. He was mesmerized. You looked a mess, eye makeup running, lipstick smudged, spit all over your face. 

Your dream man loved it.

“Am I ‘cute’ now?”

“Fuck no. You’re so goddamn beautiful.”

You smiled and quickly reached behind you and unclasped your bra, taking your breasts in your hands and pushed them up around his dick.

“See, if you unlock these cuffs, I’ll handle things the way they need to be handled.”

You just smiled up at him while you manipulated your breasts around him, knowing that he could not control his hips fucking into your cleavage.

“I got it under control.” You stuck your tongue out to tease his tip as it neared your face, lubricating it with your saliva.

“Fuck, baby.  I wanna fuck you so bad. It’s been so long…”

This entire scene was just about the hottest thing ever. You were breathless, dripping, and quivering with anticipation. But you didn’t want it to end so soon.

“How long ‘xactly?”

“Shit, 5 months of being here and jacking off to memories of you everyday.  I need to see that ass and fuck that pussy, babyyyy. Please.”

Those eyes.

Those words. 

The acting. 

Miles. 

You had to relent.

You reached for the key where you dropped it on the floor and unlocked the cuffs.

“Fucking finally!”  Miles rubbed his wrists as he stood up, stripped his shirts off and his pants the rest of the way.

“On the bed, let me see that ass up.” 

He smacked it about three times each and then rubbed it as you did as you were told. 

Miles trailed his hand from your ass up your spine to your shoulder and then pushed your head down further into the bed.

“That’s a girl.” Your back had that perfect arch.

He got behind you and swiped his hardness up and down your slit, teasing you with the head of his dick.

He grabbed your hand and brought behind your back, and very swiftly the other, and before you knew it, your hands were cuffed behind you, head in the bed and Miles was entering you swiftly.

“Fuuuuck! How does it feel?”

You couldn’t speak. The thrill of Miles’ dick inside you and being cuffed had you ready to cum already.

His stroke game was on point, as if he was fucking you to a brand new rhythm- Allegro. 

Strangely, it was different than Rafa had ever been.

That was blowing your mind.

Miles tugged on the metal restraints and the slight pain in your shoulders and wrists, combined with the thrill of this roleplay, made you release, all over him and the bed.

“Shit girl, you really are glad to see me.” That drawl got you ready to peak again.

“Oh fuck yeah, Miles, oh shit, oh shit.” Your pussy was clamping down on him at the thought of Miles Turner having his way with you.

“Shit, I’m cumming with you, hold up.”  

Rafa tried to slow down, but you did that thing with your pussy and he couldn’t help it.  His hips drove his dick inside you until it pulsed and started to flow, and then he pulled out.

“Turn over baby.”

You leisurely moved to turn over, and he motioned you down to the end of the bed, moving the pillow where he wanted your head.

“I need in between those legs, baby.  I need to see you, I need to surround me with you.”

You positioned yourself at the end of the bed, your braids hanging over the edge.

Miles gave you a forehead kiss as he got between your thighs, and pumped himself a couple of times as he aligned with you.  

He leaned down and pulled at your nipple with his mouth, moaning when you moaned, moving his eyes appreciatively down your body and keeping his eyes where you were about to join.

The look on his face when he entered you was very hot, and you found your pussy squeezing his cock in appreciation. It seemed magically somehow bigger, and all of your senses were alive as he started moving.

“That’s my beautiful baby. You’re so fucking tight. Don’t push me out, let me have the glorious pussy. Damn girl, this pussy, those thighs, your curves, these tits. What did a man like me do to deserve you. You’re such a fucking sweet princess for me…”

You were astounded. Missionary was far from your favorite position because you seldom came that way, but the way Miles was whispering praise in your ear and the total fantasy was getting you there. 

Quickly.

He watched your face and adjusted his pace in response to your cries, and that knowledge made you start to come. When your eyes rolled back in your head, that’s when he knew.

He pulled your hair back and sucked the shit out of your neck as you came, and he released inside you.  You wrapped your legs around him and held him as he shivered with the aftershocks of his orgasm.

Your lover rolled off of you and you snuggled into his arm. He lay there and held you as you tried to process.

“That was… wow.” You weren’t sure who to address, Rafa or Miles. Irrationally you felt you were in love with both.

He just chuckled at you, and gave you another forehead kiss.

“I’m going to enjoy a shower.  Goodbye for a while, baby.”

You grinned. “Bye Miles.”

He pecked you on the lips and you watched him go into the bathroom.

You rolled over on your back and tried to organize your thoughts. How would you write this?

Thoughts of writing this scene chased you into sleep.

---

You woke up to Rafael, grill and tattoos gone, freshly out of the shower and in a towel, gently trying to pull you from sleep.

“C’mon.”  

You let him get you up and into the bathroom to a hot bath.  You let him tenderly clean you up and then get you out of the tub and dry you off. You were more tired than you thought.

“You hungry?” You walked into the kitchen in a towel behind him.

Rafa had put the groceries up and was holding up takeout menus. He was truly magical. You smiled, nodded and told him what you wanted.

45 minutes later, you were in his softest Oaklandish tee and you were curled up on the couch in the living room together, food containers spead out on the coffee table.

You felt totally in sync with this amazing man.

“I loved tonight.”

He smiled softly back at you.

“Had to give you your fantasy since you help me live mine. Every day.” 

He leaned over and kissed you.  He looked you intensely in the eyes. Those green pools had you trapped.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Rafael.”

Your fantasy had been Miles, but your reality was Rafael. 

And that was fantastic. 

Everyday.

-------

Tags:

@braidedchallah @theatrenerd86 @sebastianabucknettastan @imatyoursurrvicesurr @riiyy @ivycomet @lonelydance @jbrizzywrites @delaber @honeysucklechocolatedrippin @janthonystan-blog @anh1020 @sillyteecup @ohsoverykeri  @theselilwonders @biafbunny @summerofsnowflakes  @wreakhavoconmacroissantdiggs @janthonybitch @einfachniemand @einfachniemand

[foreficfandom]

Mystic Messenger - First Time With MC (Lemon)

(Author’s notes: These scenarios do NOT assume a gender for MC, but do write the boys penetrating the reader.)

– Zen –

This isn’t his first rodeo, but he’s not exactly experienced; he’s had, like, one-and-a-half relationships before you. It’s been years since he’s had partnered sex.

And he’s never had sex-ed, either, so his knowledge of the Nasty is kinda lacking. He thinks he can re-use condoms as long as he keeps it on, he believes coconut oil can be used with latex, he thinks birth control pills act as a spermicide, and so on.

You and him initiate sex pretty early on in the relationship, perhaps merely a few days after the RFA party. He’s very romantic about it, too, planning a whole day in advance with rose petals on the bed and scented candles dotting his room. But in the middle of making out, you ask if he’s clean, and he pulls back, confused. “... I think? I mean, I haven’t been with anybody in years, so ...”

Turns out he’s never been tested for STDs. He’s almost offended when you bring it up, like you’re insinuating he’s been cheating on you. You have to explain that getting tested is just what everyone does before having sex with someone for the first time. 

So ... he’s not tested. “Can we ... still do it?” He’s blushing like crazy now, embarrassed he’s so behind on the know-how when he’s the one who wanted this in the first place. 

Partnered sex can still be relatively safe even when an individual’s not been tested, so long as you use lots of protection. But depending on who you are, you might say no, just to be 100% safe. Either way, Zen’s disappointed - not in you, no way, but in himself. God, he’s been looking forward to this night for so long, and he fucked it up by being stupid. He stews in his thoughts silently for a while, and you can tell he’s feeling down so you cuddle him close to have a good long chat about sex, relationships, and communication. Afterwards, he feels much less insecure. The two of you take the rose petals and candles to the bathroom to enjoy your first romantic bath together, instead.

Two days later, he bounces back from the clinic with a negative on every test imaginable. It’s finally time to dig in, and go ham he does, passionately wrapping you into his arms while thrusting deep and slow, trying to have as much skin contact at all times. Oh, god, he loves you, and he’ll spend the whole night proving it.

(Except he definitely couldn’t last the whole night. Your first time having sex was a mere two turns before he clonked out. He’s still embarrassed about that.)

– Yoosung –

It’s his first time having sex, and he’s really nervous. He wants it, wants you badly, but oh my god what if he messes up? What if he farts? Or scratches you in the face? Or he thrusts weird and hurts you and you start bleeding or something?? Dear lord help him

He considers proposing sex like, eight different times. He’s always chickened out, just kissing you on the doorstep before saying goodbye, or letting you leave his dorm without offering to stay the night. It doesn’t help that his dorm is tiny, he’s got a twin bed barely big enough for him. And anybody passing by the door would hear what’s going on inside clear as day. Take his word on that.

He had spent several hours worth on his laptop, doing research on ‘how to have sex for the first time’. He’s got his list of positions to try, how to minimize pain and discomfort, etc, all memorized.. He eventually goes out to get condoms and lube, making sure to use the self-checkout. 

You and him are hanging out in his dorm after a date, and he wasn’t even planning to suck it up and ask you, but you saw the condoms in the shopping bag he forgot to stow away, and you asked him gently, “do you want to be intimate with me, Yoosung?”

He blushes like crazy, you could swear you saw steam lines radiating from his face. But you take his hand in encouragement and he nods eagerly, looking anywhere else but your eyes. “I - I really want this, MC. I’ve been thinking about this for so long ...”

You can tell he’s nervous. The two of you sit on his bed and talk explicitly about what he wants, how you should proceed, what lines to avoid, and lots of other important details. A safeword is confirmed; ‘server maintenance’. He feels much more confident. 

The two of you begin by just kissing on his bed, he slowly dares to feel up your shirt and eventually the clothes come off bit by bit. His body is lean and soft, and he’s loud, too. Just nipping at his pillowy tummy makes him cry out. 

You give him oral, and he’s twisting around, grabbing at pillows and sheets like he’s tumbling down a cliff. He comes without warning and collapses, wrung out and overwhelmed with pleasure. 

Some cuddling afterwards, and then he’s hard again and kissing at your neck. He asks you to ride him, and when you do, he’s sobbing without shame and grabbing hard at your hips.

Some time afterwards, when you and Yoosung are trying to cuddle on his bed without either of you toppling off, he remembers just how loud he’s been and dreads facing anybody in the building tomorrow. You just laugh and tuck him into the bedsheets.

– Jaehee –

She shyly shows off a beautiful new set of lingerie as her way of asking to ‘take the relationship to the next level’. And she’s a real bombshell in it. It’s sometimes easy to forget that Jaehee’s got a bod underneath her suit/cafe uniform.

Unlike certain younger boys, Jaehee didn’t feel the need to agonize over this night over a period of several months. This is a natural progression for her. Once things feel ready between the two of you, it’s natural that the question eventually comes up.

She first shows you her new lingerie in its original packaging, and waits to hear your ‘yes’. Then, it’s time to hop into the bathtub for a long soak and thorough wash before putting it on.

She also gets new toys. Entire shopping bags and shipping boxes filled with insertables, vibrators, pumps, impacts, (and also the supplies needed to maintain them). She didn’t come out and show you these all at once, she’d probably die of embarrassment if she did. But she had them all unwrapped, clean, tested, and ready to use in a discreet box.

You and she actually end up making out on the couch rather than the bedroom. She’s sitting in your lap dressed in her lingerie, you’re fully clothed, and things get so heated the two of you decide to go at it right there.

She’s surprisingly wild. She keeps as much of her lingerie on as possible, even while you’re knuckle deep or pelvis-to-pelvis. The floor is eventually lined with toys as one is used after the other. And she loves taking the initiative with a gentle but firm hand, directing the positions one after the other, or deciding what toy to be used where, and for how long.

A round on the couch, and Jaehee cools down long enough to freak out about staining the upholstery, so she ushers you into the bedroom while she busts out the Lysol. 

After she cleans up, she joins you on the bed for some belated cuddling, and perhaps a second round. Or three.

And it’s actually in the middle of the day, not during the night, so the two of you are completely worn out by dinnertime. Food is takeout, and there’s a lot of it because you need to replenish all that energy.  

Jaehee doesn’t get blushy until you feed her a bite of dessert. It’s cute how confident she is when it comes to sex, but shy about small acts of intimacy. 

– Jumin –

He’s not a virgin, (not that it’s any of your business, Luciel), he had sex with a random girl back in college just to see what the fuss was about, and nothing else since then.

Jumin’s a conservative guy. “Liberalism can only flourish with a good foundation of conservatism.” He believes unmarried couples shouldn’t live together. Of course he’s not gonna be fond of having sex before tying the knot.

It’s not like he rushed the engagement for that reason, but if he was perfectly honest, he did wake up in a cold sweat at 3am when he remembered that this meant the two of you would be intimate very soon. 

Jumin’s got that reputation for being some d/s sex-mad sadist daddy, but that’s not the full picture. You might be able to get him into that specific mood after the two of you establish your relationship more. But for the first few times, it’s all vanilla.

It takes a long while before the wedding actually happens. And, no, Jumin’s not gonna really want to have sex for that entire period. Sure, he’s excited about it, but it’s not a driving, burning need. You, on the other hand, might say differently. 

So if you don’t want to wait four to five months, you’re gonna have to breach the topic yourself. And he’ll be torn - on one hand, he rationally realizes that it’s completely harmless to have consensual sex without martial ties. But he also believes in that supposed virtue of being abstinent until marriage. He also liked the romance of waiting. It’d make the moment more special for him.

Either way, he’s excited. The bed’s furnished with fresh sheets, the lights are dimmed, and there’s five dozen roses in crystal vases throughout the bedroom. 

It’ll start with wine while sitting on the bed - if you don’t drink, you have a glass of something you prefer while he’s sipping on some $12,000 vintage - and he drills a hole in your face with his loving gaze while singing your virtues. He wants you naked before he is, so after some kissing you’ll be nude on the sheets while he finally takes his clothes off.

Jumin has no idea what sex is ‘supposed’ to look like, which is both good and bad - you can tell him to do anything, and he’s not gonna worry about feeling awkward or stupid. But he also needs to be told to do anything. 

If you want him to go faster, or use more tongue, you have to tell him. He’s not gonna take the initiative. If you want him to switch positions, you need to describe exactly how you want to position yourselves. It’s a mixed blessing.

The first round goes quite a while because Jumin was taking it slow. There’s a second round where he gets more adventurous, and maybe a third round depending on how you feel. 

The next morning, the chef’s been hired to prepare a special breakfast, and you can tell that they know. Jumin doesn’t care. He just smiles all day.

– Saeyoung –

He actually was a virgin, which was kinda a surprise. His agent job never require any sort of sex-related work, thank god, and it’s not like he ever earned the attention of anybody else before this point. 

If an agency job had enough time to have sex while in the field, then that meant the job was going down the dumps fast. And whenever Agent 707 was involved, a job never nosedived that far.

It’s (semi) canon that Saeyoung asked to be intimate during the after-ending, while on the search for his brother. It was the night before all your plans would come to fruition, and he didn’t know he would come back alive. “I want to leave evidence on you that I existed.”

But it’s ALSO canon that in Saeyoung’s ‘dark chocolate’ Valentine’s Day ending, he asks to ‘take the relationship to the next level’. Which implies that the two of you haven’t had sex yet. 

So what’s the dealio? Basically, Saeyoung wanted to have sex with you that night in the cabin, and after some kissing, you realized that you (1) didn’t have protection, (2) neither of you have been tested recently, and (3) your current emotional states weren’t ideal for sex, especially since Saeyoung was a virgin. He left a lot of hickies on your neck instead, and the two of you held each other close the whole night. 

By the time Valentine’s Day rolled around, it had been two months since Saeran was rescued and Saeyoung was feeling a lot happier. You made it to the end of the scavenger hunt to find an amorous redhead that was ~prepared~ this time. An entire shopping bag full of prophylactics, lube, band-aids, water bottles, and everything. 

He managed to fake a confident persona up until he undressed you fully, then he found himself blushing like crazy when you undressed him in turn. Damn, he really was hiding muscles underneath that hoodie. His arms were woven cable, and underneath his pudge you could feel shapely abs. 

He asked to be on top, you complied, rolling over and allowing him to explore your body with his hands and mouth. It took three tries to enter you, because without his glasses, you were a bit of a blurry blob. But once he was in, he went at it. Maybe even a bit too enthusiastic for the first few thrusts, he was just running on some animalistic instinct he didn’t know he had. 

Two minutes later, he was blindsided by a surprise orgasm. Embarrassed, he rolled off of you and buried his face into the sheets. You had to stroke his hair soothingly for ten minutes before he would look you in the face. 

Saeyoung’s first evening of sex had one ‘disastrous’ first try, then a much better second run, and then after dinner there was a third ... and also .5 a prance while in the shower.  

– Saeran –

You’re his first sexual partner, but more than that, today also marks a big step in his self-confidence. He’s cashing in his newfound tolerance for his body and constitution. Saeran spent most of his life hating his ‘weak’ health and thinking anybody’d be repulsed by him. He wouldn’t have sex if he didn’t believe differently. 

So it’s probably several months - perhaps years - into your relationship that he even brings up having sex. Even though he may be ready, he’s still nervous and shy and unsure about how to proceed. 

Before the big night, he spends several minutes in front of the mirror, looking at his body. He’s gained weight and a new color to his skin thanks to his healthier lifestyle, and there’s this confidence to his posture that wasn’t there before. A sparkle in his eye. It’s incredible how far he’s come from hating every inch of himself. He smiles.

He prepares one of his Patented Saeran’s Romantic Dinners, complete with candlelight and ambient music. The two of you have done this several times before, but this time there’s an electricity in the air ‘cause of what’s to come. You notice that the food has no garlic, or other strong smells. Saeran’s more cunning than he looks. 

As dessert finishes up, he gets more quiet, until the conversation dies down and there’s nothing for it; he takes a deep breath and says, “....Sh-shall we go to bed?” Like this hasn’t been planned weeks in advance. The two of you walk hand-in-hand to the bedroom, where there’s even more candles and another stereo playing soft music, and you picture Saeran putting together a ‘having sex for the first time’ playlist.

You begin by kissing Saeran lying beneath you, but he stops you with a hand on your shoulder and asks to switch positions, because he doesn’t like the feeling of you hovering over him. It’s another mark of his progress that he asks for adjustments. 

Things progress slowly. Saeran feels out what makes him feel anxious, and what makes him feel good. The two of you end up side-by-side as he takes you, facing each other with your legs wrapped around his waist. Very intimate. Very sweet. He loves threading his fingers through your hair, and he mewls every time you fondle his ears. 

His health is still shaky, so he only has the stamina for one round before he needs to rest. He all but demands you inch as close as possible so he falls asleep holding you tight. When he wakes up the next morning, he’s got a 1000-watt smile. 

– Jihyun –

Out of the entire wacky cast of Mystic Messenger boys, Jihyun’s the only actual experienced one. You don’t have to tell him that a single pack of five condoms is waaayy too little, you don’t have to explain what dental dams are, or worry about him using oil-based lube on accident, and he’s the only one who actually showers thoroughly beforehand. 

It begins with your typical night of cuddling-and-kissing, then Jihyun says he’s clean and he’s got a bedside cabinet full of supplies. He gently holds your hand and asks, ‘”if you’d like …? We could … if you’re comfortable. If you’d have me.” He’s blushing, but he’s confident. 

Of course, even if you’re experienced, the first time with anybody is gonna be awkward. And Jihyun’s a surprisingly big guy to maneuver. There’s a lot of accidental elbowing, bonking of the heads, kneeling on sensitive bits, and little scrapes. His long limbs seemingly end up everywhere on the bed, and it’s like you’re playing twister. 

Mistakes just make him laugh. You trip over his outstretched forearm and face plant into his shoulder, and he just chuckles and pulls you into another kiss. 

He’s just so soft and loving. ‘Cause to Jihyun, it’s about ~making love~. He wants to go slow, looking into your eyes, cradling your head and burying his face into the crook of your neck. 

Tries to get you off first, either through oral or otherwise. He’s not a big fan of any positions that turn you away from him, it’s just too rough and aggressive. He’d rather carry you on his shoulders before he prefers doggy style. 

Checks in with you constantly, asks what you like and where you like to be touched. Tries to get you to literally guide his hands. In turn, he asks you to please, touch his legs, his thighs ... yes, kiss me there - 

For your first time, he’d rather have a one-two long sessions than multiple quick ones. He believes sex is one of the most intimate methods of non-verbal communication, and the longer you go in one sitting, the more is passed between the two of you. 

He’s never used toys in his life. If you decide to pull one out for your first time, he’s gonna blush like crazy and actually decline. He wants the first night to be 'organic’. And he’s so driven towards that romantic face-to-face lovemaking, he won’t go too hard or fast, even if you’re begging him. 

After the sex, he wraps you up in a cozy blanket before fetching some hot tea and fresh fruit. Then there’s several minutes spent reviewing how things went, what things worked well, or how they can improved. He catalogues it all for later. 

He rarely wants to fall asleep right after sex, so you might pass out peacefully, but he’s gonna stay awake, just gazing at you for a while. 

[miserabull]

A very long meta-analysis on P2 Bad Grief

So, I've gone over every dialogue with this guy a few times, and there is some stuff I've never seen addressed before. This is a mix of analyzing and theory that have been in my head for a while, and I’d love to know if it all also makes sense to other people

The thing about Classic and P2 Grief, is that they are very different characters playing the same role. Who is Bad Grief? A thief, a kingpin of the town's criminal underbelly, and a smuggler working for Big Vlad. In P1, he's also a dangerous murderer who kills people for fun, but denies it, even claims that he kicks people out of his gang for daring to take up knives. Dude lies a lot. In fact, he maintains the lie up until the last route, the Changeling's, and then tries that on her too but ends up confessing. This is my very wordy way of saying that while I kinda agree with people who are like "he's not a violent murderer like P1 Grief", P1 Grief also claimed to not be one up to the last minute. I don't think they are making him a sadistic killer this time, yeah, but I'm pretty sure he's a liar, and that there's a darker secret. The game implies Grief keeps his cards close to his chest and there is more to him several times, like here, when you talk with Lara's reflection

Lara's Reflection: You see, she puts her stock in deeds and not in words. So Stakh was always close to her; for he would hear his heart, and act. A trait you share, Burakh.

Haruspex: And the most taciturn of us all, Bad Grief.

Lara's Reflection: He speaks so much yet does so much more.

or when Artemy confronts him at Aspity's Hospice:

Bad Grief: You heard about Rubin? Know why the Kin wants him dead? He's walkin' around all downcast, doesn't sleep. Says not to ask. Says it's safer like that. What's he done, I wonder? I wanted to ask Sahba, but maybe you know?

Haruspex: You're lying. That's not what you wanted to ask. I can tell.

Bad Grief: If I did lie, I wouldn't tell you the truth now anyway, would I? So back off. 

I'm not gonna go over the blowing-the-train tracks quest now, though I have some thoughts on it/what I think might be his plan there. For now it suffices to say that that whole thing is very odd, that his plan doesn't make sense(yeah, blowing up the tracks is a bad idea for his business. kinda meaningless though if the alternative is being hanged). That is to say, I'm pretty sure there's a hidden agenda there that we're probably only finding out in Changeling route.

So, what I mean is, if you think P2 Grief is harmless, or just a clown, or became a gang leader by accident, then, well. I think honey, you got a big storm comin'

A few more notes on Grief's character, and what I think of what we got so far:

-I believe the reflection(I have some thoughts about the nature of those too, actually lmao) is telling the truth, mostly. He is terrified, he doesn't want Artemy to think badly of him, he never wanted violence. P2 Grief is younger, more sympathetic, and very obviously more scared than his P1 counterpart. I don't think he's out there killing for fun. Still, I think he has a lot of blood on his hands anyway.

-I think his loyalty to his friends is sincere. He's kind of really big on companionship and loyalty, which fits, as a gang member. I really think that he wants to belong, to a gang, to a friend group, somewhere. Artemy mentions he's "always been weird" a couple of times, or stuff like "I knew you'd end up like this." and that thing with Lara's reflection... I think Grief was always a little bit on the margins, even in his own friend group, and that's why he made a place for himself as the leader of the misfits, of the people who don't fit what the town considers to be good society. I gotta get on with this because this is gonna be long enough without me rambling about every single thought and feeling I have about this bastard though

-He doesn't give away Stakh's hideout accidentally because he's goofy and dumb. He mentions more or less where it is like, three times. I think it's obvious that he's practically asking Artemy to go check on him, but he doesn't want to be a snitch, so he plays the fool like "Oooh no I gave you a hint, I sure hope you don't go looking for him now, don't ask me because I’d never tell!!". He's playing the clown, he's not that stupid

Okay, now we're getting to the heart of things. In P1, along with the reveal that he's actually a violent murderer who played another violent murderer(Barley) into taking the fall for his crimes, we get something else: he's working under the patronage and protection of Vlad Olgimsky. In P2, they put a lot more emphasis on that, Grief will tell you about it in the first AND second conversation you have. There is even a certain imagery associated with it... actually, allow me a quick digression here, I wanna go over some motifs around Grief. 

Grief is pretty into clockwork and gears, going by his choice of decoration for his Lair. The town itself is compared to a machine several times, by himself, by Big Vlad, and regarding how the Kains view it. I risk to say that the way Grief sees it is rather different from the Kains, at least at first.  For him it seems to be more of a blunt factory machine, while to the Kains...it means something else, more complex. Grief seems to have glimpsed what that is inside the Cathedral, near the end. That reminds me of something else, in the Diurnal End when Grief talks about how he used to be a clocksmith before, and now he's going to be "another kind of clocksmith", I don't think he's necessarily being literal in either case. Curiously, there's also a Clocksmith inside the Cathedral in Marble Nest...but I'm going off topic again

Bad Grief: Not a keeper of stores, but stories. This town, this great machine, the gears don't turn on their own, no, not till they're slick with secrets. 

But so, webs and puppets. We return to Vlad Olgimsky(old), who uses the metaphor of his “web”. There's also an important character in Grief's journey that is strongly associated with (spider)webs and strings, and that's Aglaya. The most notable time Grief himself refers to it though, I think, it's in the Theatre of Death, if you let him die:

“My path was not called 'The Spider'. No, think wider. It was 'The Silkworm'! The end of a railroad, I pulled strings firm; unaware someone more cunning pulled mine upstairs.”

So about that. He’s referring to the PTB right? Probably, but not only. A theme in Patho is like...these layers of manipulation. I’m gonna pass the mic to P1 Clara and Saburov for a second:

Alexander Saburov: Begin with the Olgimskys. That is the most important sin for me, and the least for him, for it is not his fault. So did Olgimsky protect his illicit trade? Did he benefit from it?

Changeling: He didn't just benefit; he presided over it. Grief was his stooge.

Alexander Saburov: Now then, we shall skip the issue of the barber gang, since it's clear now who their true mastermind was... thanks to your courage, my brave girl.

Changeling: Don't skip it just yet. Barley was as much of a puppet in Grief's hands as Grief himself was for Olgimsky. Everyone has their toys.”

Grief is a puppet in Vlad’s hands both in P1 and P2, as there he says he’s Vlads “eyes and ears” in the warehouses. In the Cathedral, he seems to more or less realize the extent of it, and how it goes against what he always wanted in the first place: to not be trapped by anything. 

Bad Grief: I used to be a thief, yet they made me a storekeeper. And what a perfect fit I made! I got my Warehouse kingdom, and with it, the insides of the Town's great machine. I kept Vlad's riches while havin' all I could dream of. Can't imagine a sweeter life.

Funnily enough, by that time he’s trapped in someone else’s web: Aglaya’s. That seems to be his thing, he thought he was in control and playing everyone, knowing all the secrets and pulling strings. In the end, he’s a Silkworm in the web of bigger fish. I mean, spiders.

Bad Grief: ...Yet they, too, are controlled by someone. Insane to think what kind of teeth you need for that.

But okay. Back to the start, I believe Grief has a lot of blood in his hands even before shit breaks loose. The things he seems to be most afraid of are also… interesting. This ties to his connection to Big Vlad, and the Kin.

Grief’s role in the payroll seems to be as a stool pigeon. He knows where everyone goes, what people are talking about, what they don’t want to become public. And he responds to Big Vlad. What I think is, hm, you know, even after Victoria passed it seems like the Kin and the Bull Enterprise never really defied Olgimsky, or had a leader in any way. Grief, too, seems to enjoy a pretty comfortable life for a gang leader. As an important piece to Vlad, he really doesn’t have that much to fear, since the guy “owns everything” and is very explicit to Artemy about how he can destroy anyone who doesn’t obey him. And probably has done that before. My guess is, Grief kept the machine working right by tattling, so no leadership or enemy to Vlad’s Enterprise could rise. I’d speculate that Vlad possibly paid the favor not only financially, but by maintaining Grief in that position. Basically, I think with Grief’s info, Vlad could eliminate any potential problem. That would mean that maybe without even having to shed blood himself there might be a lot of deaths Grief is responsible for, not to speak of the maintenance of that horrible system in the town. I think the route they are going for here is that Grief is a class traitor.

Why do I say that? Well, first let’s look at Grief’s relationship with the Kin: he’s remarkably close to them for a townie. Geographically, obviously, and also in the sense of living on the margins of society, but he also shares many of their superstitions, and seems to hold Aspity’s opinion in high regard(even calls her Sahba). I find it easy to believe that many of his men are part of the community as well, due to not being welcome in the town. At that time we see him in the Hospice though, and talking with the Kin people there, it’s pretty clear that they are planning some sort of uprising. That it’s imminent. Grief seems to know it. Seems to be absolutely terrified of that too, and to feel betrayed by Vlad.

Bad Grief: It's too late for me, Cub. I've only got one road ahead of me now. Perhaps the outbreak is for the best... Plagues are like fires, people forget old scores. And all hell will break loose here soon.

Haruspex: Any dark prophecies to share? You're the criminal mastermind here, after all.

Bad Grief: No need to prophesize. People fear hunger. Even honest workers will turn their hatchets and hammers to crime. Burglin' houses, lootin' corpses, guttin' each other. They will. Oh, they will.

Haruspex: Not all of them, Grief. Not all.

Bad Grief: The turf's so dry, you don't even need a match-a glare would start a fire. And when the Kin bares its teeth, that's when we'll all dance! They're slow on the start, but oh so fast on the draw! The Master likes them mute and obedient, but apathy makes them that way, not stupidity. They're only obedient till the time comes. And here it comes.

And the people who lose their jobs? They won't be too fond of staying home. They'll find new hobbies, like looking for food, or venting their anger. ...And Fat Vlad shut his facilities down the day before yesterday, didn't he? Crafty... Didn't whisper so much as a single word to me. Do you think he knew?

At the same time he seems to think that he deserves this, and it’s inevitable. “We reap what we sow”, paraphrasing him. He talks a few times about how there’s a vile beast inside each person in the town, about how they are all wretched and everything, including him, which I think might just be a way of coping like “yeah, I sold out, but anyone would do the same if they were in my place”. 

So, yeah. What I think is that Grief was a guy that had no power and money, with absolutely no perspective, who due to his very particular skills had an opportunity to climb up and took it(all while still getting to pretend he’s an outlaw, free from the chains of society!). And it’s...very bad. And he knows it’s very bad, and he’s not evil or sadistic, but he’s immature, cowardly, and desperately wants to be in control of his own destiny, and to not be alone, and all that. He’s still Artemy’s childhood buddy, a loyal friend, and someone who never really wanted to cause that much damage. He also knows that what he did is unjustifiable, and that no matter what he truly feels, the damage is done and he’s guilty of horrible shit.

[passionate-hedgehog]

Banana

m.list

Shayne Topp x Reader (gender neutral)

Warnings: none

Word Count: 3041

AN: This is my first Shayne x Reader fic. AND it’s now gender neutral! Thank you to @rustyisdead for helping me change up all of the pronouns!

Summary: Helping out a friend ends in a way Shayne wasn’t expecting.

   When Shayne offered to help one of his buddies out that went on a week long vacation, he did not think it would require him to interrupt his own schedule as much as it did. He didn’t mind it, honestly. The actor just had to reconfigure his own morning routine to fit his very current yet very temporary situation. 

   Banana was a golden-doodle. A little more golden than doodle, but a very wonderful dog. She seemed to know that the current human taking care of her wasn’t as...savvy...to how she worked. At least, that’s what Shayne thought. The look in her eyes always spoke of mischief to him. She wasn’t naughty...but she liked to see how far she could push him. She also had very shady moments that made him think she knew more than she was letting on.

   Day three out of seven and he was at the point where he remembered he was supposed to drop her off at doggy daycare without forgetting and leaving for his work commute without her. On the first day, he just forgot about her entirely. On the second day, he made it to the doggy day care but without the doggy part. He had to drive all of the way back to his apartment, load her up (but she LOVES car rides, Shayne. It won’t be hard to get her to go! I promise), drive the fifteen minutes to the care center and then to work. He wasn’t going to make that mistake a third time. He was better than that, he told himself.

   When he did eventually get to his destination, without forgetting the passenger, he took in the sights. Cute Critters Pet Sitters was a simple brick building but he could tell how much maintenance went into the yard area. He couldn’t see a lot but the fencing seemed to go on forever. The actor leashed up his current canine companion and walked her into the building, following the very well placed directions. Banana got signed in and the attendant at the front desk took her to where Shayne assumed the other dogs were. He wasn’t sure. This whole thing was new to him. 

   “Mr. Williams? Are you still able to help out this week for the renovation?” One of the front desk attendants asked.

   Shayne paused and looked around, because out of all of the things he had been forgetting that week, his name wasn’t one of them. But when he realized that she was looking directly at him, he realized there must have been a misconception.

  “Oh, I’m not...I’m not him. I’m just dropping off his dog this week.” The actor replied .

   The woman pursed her lips. “Oh, I apologize. Banana’s owner was slated to help out with our indoor renovation project this week. I’ll have to tell Mx. L/n that he’s no longer available. Which is an honest shame.

   Shayne looked abashed. 

   “I see Banana is here! Is her human still here, too?” A different voice called from the gymnasium Banana had been walked into.

   “I’m afraid not, Y/n.” The receptionist replied as the worker from the gymnasium walked into the foyer. “He was dropped off by someone else today. And will be for the rest of this week, correct?”

   Shayne only nodded in reply. The receptionist seemed to think her job was done and walked off somewhere Shayne couldn’t see, not that he was bothering to look. He couldn’t take his eyes off of the person standing before him. They were wearing a leopard cat ear headband that had distracted him.

   The worker began to wring their hands together. “He won’t be here today? At all? Or this week? We were really looking forward to his help.” 

   “I’m sorry,” Shayne shrugged. “He’s on vacation. I’m dog-sitting Banana for him. That’s why she wasn’t here the last two days. Was it something monetarily? I can shoot him a quick text…”

   “Oh, no! Nothing like that! Please, don’t interrupt his vacation! It just kinda...sucks. He promised to help with renovating our playroom-slash-gymnasium. He was our first volunteer for it so we were hoping it was showing us his excitement and so we got excited...not too many of the pet parents volunteered…”The worker then sighed deeply while rubbing their forehead with both hands. 

   The actor noticed how distressed and let down they seemed. They must have been really looking forward to someone willing to come in on their own time and help out. Shayne didn’t like the idea that his friend promised to give time to help out and then just didn’t. He almost felt...responsible for the current situation. Not that he felt like he caused it...but that he had the opportunity to amend it. So he did what any responsible person would do.

   “Do you...I could help?”

   “Really?!” L/n clasped their hands together and looked like they could start jumping up and down at any point. Shayne offhandedly wondered if they learned any traits from the dogs they played with all day.

   “Yeah, I mean, I pick Banana up after work anyway. I could stop in and see if you guys still needed help? I don’t know what all I could do. But I could probably do something.” Shayne nodded as if trying to convince himself more than L/n.

   “Sweet home Alabama. That would be PERFECT.” They then pulled him into a big hug and then released him with a smile that seemed larger than what should be possible. “Awesome! AHHH!!! Thank you! Thank you thank you thank you!”

   After solidifying what time he would be back to pick up Banana and check in on what they needed, the actor left for his work commute. He started up his car and texted his best friend. 

   Shayne: I just had a crazy time bringing Banana to daycare. I’ll be to        set... soon.

   Damien: You mean “late”?

   Shayne: Tomato tomahto.

   Filming half a month's worth of content in one day would always be exhausting to Shayne. No matter how long he had been doing his job, he was always exhausted after the long days of filming. The last thing Shayne wanted to do was put in more physical labor but he made a promise and breaking a promise was not something he did. So, when he made his way back into the care center, he made sure L/n knew he was there to do what they needed to get done. 

   “I’m so grateful you still came to help.” They mentioned while they moved the enrichment items from the big gym to a storage closet. “I know that the last thing anyone wants to do after a long work day is renovation work. But I’m very thankful, Shayne.”

   The man squinted. “You know, now that I think about it, I don’t think I told any of you my name.”

   Y/n seemed to be too busy, conveniently, to look him in the face. “Hm...yeah? Huh…”

   When he didn’t say anything after a minute the worker groaned. They turned back to face him and scratched at the back of their head and scrunched their face up. “I...might be a fan. Of YouTube. A few different things...SMOSH things…”

   “Oh, well I’m honored.” He gave them a smile as if to placate their worry. “I don’t really run into too many fans here in L.A. Not that I’m complaining. But it’s nice to hear every so often.”

   “My niece got me into it with one of your sketches and I’ve been hooked since. You guys do good work. She watches them on days when being a teenager is too hard and they make her feel better. So, thank you, I guess.” L/n giggled as they resumed putting things on shelves.

  Shayne followed suit and the two kept busy organizing the storage room while talking about everyday things. At some point, when Shayne called them “Miss/Mr L/n”, they corrected him.

  “You can just call me ‘Y/n’. We’re not in a terribly professional relationship, right? You’re just helping out in the storage room for a few hours.” They said as they climbed up the shelf to reach the top of another. “Plus, I’d really just like to hear you say my name.”

   Shayne wasn’t sure he heard them right until he noticed that they stopped moving altogether. 

   “Please tell me that I said that on the inside and not on the outside…”

   The man gave a small chuckle. “I can’t do that. I’m not good at lying.”

   Y/n threw their head back, gave a big sigh, and began to climb down the shelving unit. At some point though, their foot had somehow slipped on something and they felt their body not going where they wanted it to. They then braced themself for the impact of their back meeting the floor but it never came. There was the feeling of two hands on their back gently pressing them in the direction of the shelving unit. One of the two hands moved from the middle of their back to their lower back and they were helped down. 

   “Jesus, Y/n. Do you have a ladder so you don’t do that again?” Shayne asked as they turned towards him.

   The worker didn’t answer, but instead hugged him. “I’m so freaking scared of heights and that was terrifying. Oh my God, thank you.”

   “Yeah, of course.” Shayne gently patted them on the back. “I’m glad I was here to make sure you didn’t get hurt.”

   “My heart literally fell. I know it wasn’t that far off of the ground but I don’t even like step ladders like I just really don’t…” They finally looked up into his eyes and they locked. “Uh…”

   After realizing they had stopped communicating for a moment, they pulled apart awkwardly. Shayne took a step back and shoved his hands into his coat pockets and looked anywhere that wasn’t at them. “Right. Well…”

   Y/n blushed but smiled in a humored way. “Shall we work on moving in the bigger items? The tunnels that are back in the gym need to be broken down and put against that wall. It should only take a few minutes. We won’t need anything else done tonight.”

   Shayne nodded and the two began the last bit of work before Y/n could begin painting. This time the two didn’t talk as much as they stole glances at each other. Sometimes they’d look at the same time and end up smiling like teenagers seeing their class crush. The rest of the evening went on like that until the playroom was emptied. Y/n dusted their hands off together and stretched. 

   “So, you’re painting this whole gym alone? Or are the other workers helping?”Shayne looked around trying to figure out what their plans were.

   “Oh, heavens no. There are some small decorative details that need to be painted and then we’re going to have the floor deep cleaned. I’m going to go through the storage rooms, all of them, and see if there’s anything that needs to be tossed out or what needs to be fixed. It’ll help us plan our budget for next year. I’m super stoked. I want to get some new activities for the pups. OH!” They then jogged to where their phone was sitting on a chair and started swiping through it.

   Shayne watched as they bit her lip and quickly searched for something. They had then made their way back to him and was angling the phone almost in his. They began to share with him their thoughts on what to get to improve on the indoor activities and he observed as they got enthralled with what they were talking about. He didn’t really understand all of it but he noted how excited they got when explaining the puppy teeter totter on their pinterest board. The picture captured a pit bull that was basically smiling as he was mid climb. They also gushed about how they were suckered into the item because of the smile. 

  “I’m a sucker for smiling pitties. It’s a curse, really. I can’t stand it.”

  “I think it’s pretty neat how excited you’re getting over this. I can’t wait to see how it ends up. These dogs are so lucky to be here with you looking after them.” The blonde actor had somehow ended up with one of his arms on the workers waist. “They’re going to love it.”

 “Yeah?” They turned into him.

  “Oh, absolutely.” He brought his other arm up to meet them together.

   They bit their lip as she kept their gazes locked. “You promise?”

   He just nodded.

   “I think Banana is very ready to go home!” A voice called from the other end of the gymnasium.

   The two broke apart and Shayne gave a self conscious cough. “Right..uh...I’ll see you tomorrow when I drop off Banana, Y/n?”

   The worker just nodded in response, watching the man leave the care center with the leashed dog.

   After Shayne got Banana in the car and he himself was buckled in, he grasped the wheel and sighed with an emotion he wasn’t sure he could identify. He ran his hand through his blonde hair and started the car. Before he put the car in reverse, he looked into the mirror and noticed Banana looking at him from the backseat.

   “I know, Banana. I shouldn’t. I don’t have the time for a relationship or the energy most days.”

   The dog blinked.

   “Blink one more time if you think this is a bad idea. Blink two more times if you think it’s a good idea.

   Banana responded by laying down, not blinking at all. She seemed to be too tired for Shayne’s love life drama.

   “Same, girl. Same.” He put the car in reverse and made his way out of the parking lot.

   The next day started off in a hurry. Shayne was late to dropping off Banana, so he didn’t see Y/n at drop-off. Somehow, though, he was still late to work even though he didn’t have any distractions, pleasant or unpleasant. He wasn’t quite sure which category Y/n fell into.

   When he eventually arrived at work (Late two days in a row, Shayne? You can’t opt out of Eat It or Yeet It if you’re not here to put your vote in.), he went straight to set for a SMOSHcast recording. He knew he’d be clowned for being any amount of late so he didn’t let it bother him. He just put on the headphones and jumped right into it.

   Advicecasts had become something he really enjoyed doing. He didn’t fully understand why people kept asking them for help but he loved doing it. He felt like it was a time he could truly give back to fans in a different way. Different questions and situations went through the conversation and Shayne was proud of himself for not letting his thoughts drift off too far.

   “Alright, this next one is one a few of us could relate to.” Ian, his boss, began. “It reads ‘I have this amazing job that I can’t believe I have, it’s a dream come true. But lately I’ve been thinking about dating and having a partner, I know it’s something I want in the end. I try looking but time and energy isn’t something my job offers. What would you guys do in this position?’”

   Sarah and Damien both gave “ooooh’s”. 

   “Well,” the producer seemed to take a second to collect her thoughts. “I think it really has a lot to do with where do you want to put your energy? Where do you want it going? In the end, what would you rather have in your hands? Your dream job or your dream partner? It’s a hard question to ask and answer, but you’re truly the only person that can make that decision. Maybe you can balance the both of them and make it work. That’s the ideal situation. But it might not workout that way. Honestly you’ll never know until you try. You have to actually get out there to try to figure out what it is you want more.”

   Shayne hoped it wasn’t obvious, but it probably was, that he slightly checked out after Sarah’s input. He had disregarded dating in its entirety because of his job. He was constantly on set, or traveling, or working on other projects that he was blessed to book.There wasn’t a point where he thought he’d be able to enjoy a relationship fully. But maybe if he put in the effort...now that SMOSH was running smoother since his most recent relationship...maybe it’d be ok? 

   Shayne walked up to the receptionist during pick-up to let them know he was there. When no one was at the desk, he walked himself to the playroom where he didn’t expect to see what was before him. Some of the dogs were laying on their backs just hanging out, and Y/n was there with them. They were laying on their back, also, staring at the ceiling. The whole thing looked super chill and Shayne wanted to join in.

   Y/n turned their head in his direction as he laid next to them. Their arms almost touching, They gave a gentle smile and the actor returned it. He was very surprised that none of the dogs jumped up to meet him when he walked in. Wasn’t that what dogs did?

   “It’s nap time.” Y/n explained as if they could read his mind. “We’re promoting a calm environment after the excitement of finding a mouse in the courtyard earlier today. Things got a little cray, but now we’re enjoying some quiet time.”

   After a moment, Shayne just barely felt something touch his hand closest to Y/n. Once he recognized it as their fingers, he closed the distance and just held their hand. Sarah was right. Shayne needed to put his energy towards the things he wanted the most. And what he wanted the most was to see what he and Y/n could become. He just had to go for it.

[oloreaa]

Vencuyanir - Prologue

vencuyanir [ven-COO-yah-neer]: sustain, keep alive, preserve

Summary: About to be taken away from Arvala-7, Elana only has two objectives: keeping Bean alive and getting away from the Mandalorian

Words: 2.8k

Notes: This is the first longer series I have attempted in years, and I am so excited for this! Also the entire story is the most self indulgent enemies-to-lovers slow-burn I’ve ever planned and written so hopefully you’ll like it as well! Elana is an OC with Chinese features (+ my personal face claim), but I won’t be physically describing her a lot, so hopefully you could still see this as kinda “reader”

Warnings: canon-typical violence (death, gun violence), (implied) past child abuse, hostages/(implied) slavery

▪ Masterlist ▪ Vencuyanir ▪  Next ▪

……………

"Bean?" Elana called out, looking for the little child. He was currently hidden from her, in some place she could not find. Yet.

The hide-and-seek session she had initiated to stave off the boredom had turned into a nightmare. Elana had no idea where Bean would be, and she did not wanted to go and ask the Niktos outside. They were already barely tolerating her.

After Alderaan was destroyed a few years back she had drifted around the galaxy, and by chance, was approached by a friendly looking woman who told her that there was a well-paying, low maintenance job on a Outer Rim planet called Arvala-7 waiting for her. She took it without hesitation, and not a thought was spared about how such an opportunity was too good to be true.

Well, it definitely was not well-paying.

She barely got any of the money she was promised, which was why she was stuck on Arvala-7, guarded by Niktos that fended off the bounty hunters that appeared every few days.

The reason for her job? A baby. Elana was hired to take care of a small baby, which was not what she had pictured, at all.

But after taking just one look at the small green child with the huge dark eyes and even larger ears, she fell in love. It could be a maternal instinct, or maybe it was her own soft heart that made her fiercely protective of him. There was an instant connection the moment she entered the room he was in, the baby reaching out towards her as soon as he set his eyes on her, babbling incessantly. For lack of better words, there was a bond of sorts between them. Elana could feel, even pinpoint sometimes what the little bean was sensing, and knew that he was the same with her.

A soft coo finally alerted Elana to Bean's position, him giving himself away since he grew bored. She hurried to him, and scooped him up, heart beating fast in her chest.

"There you are, honey," she sighed in relief, tracing his large petal ears with a gentle finger. He cooed at her and patted at her face with his three fingers, claws not yet sharp enough to break skin. He grabbed at the end of her braid and put it in his mouth. Elana carefully took it out again, and quickly snatched a wooden toy he could gnaw on. The child wrapped his claws around it quietly, and started nibbling, big trusting eyes blinking up at her.

Elana tried not to think about it too much because it broke her heart, but all the signs were there. Bean was too quiet. He did not make many noises. And if he did, only when it was absolutely necessary.

He did not ask for food or water. He ate quickly and left no crumbs anywhere. He did not flinch when a blaster shot rang through the air, but did when someone moved too fast near him. She really wished that her suspicions were wrong, but Bean exhibited behaviour that was proof of him being mistreated before she had come along.

Bean cooed softly, nuzzling her arms, and smiled at her. The sight was adorable.

"Let's get you something to eat, all right?" Elana said, bouncing him on her hip, and set off towards the kitchen.

The Niktos have provided them with food and shelter, as well as weapons for defense, like blasters and some knives. Elana did not really know how to use them, beyond how to pull a trigger and stab someone with the pointy end. And that was it. It was not as if any of the Niktos bothered to teach her. She knew maybe a quarter of them by name, the rest by sight, but it was purely a business-like relationship.

Without Bean, she would have been utterly alone on Arvala-7. To be fair, she would not even be there if it was not for Bean, but she would not have it any other way. The little area they were given to live in consisted of a small kitchen, a bath, and a bedroom where the pram for Bean was located. It was not much, but enough.

Enough to survive.

She had no reason to complain, Elana often reasoned with herself, she had a roof over her head, cooling systems for the scorching days and heaters for the cold nights. She was given enough food and clothes to sustain herself and the little one she cared for. Even if Elana had no idea why she was actually there. She knew not the names of those who hired her, she did not know the reason why so many people sought to take Bean, why they were not even close to stopping after months of a constant stream of bounty hunters, all trying their luck.

Shaking those thoughts away, she returned to her original task of going to the kitchen.

The ration packets were stored in a drawer, and she noticed with a frown that the amount was steadily dwindling. It would still be enough for over a week, but it was definitely something that the Niktos should know about. They would get some more on their next supply run off the planet. Grabbing a small packet of rehydratable meat, and adding some water to a small pot, Elana prepared a simple meal for Bean. Then she heated water in another pot and made herself a cup of tea.

Bean sat upright in his stool, and watched her with curious, intelligent eyes. He babbled excitedly when she finished stirring, ears wiggling, making Elana smile.

The little child ate slowly as she fed him, blinking up at her and cooing. She cooed right back, and he smiled brightly, little teeth catching the light.

"You like the food? The consistency is nice, huh?"

He babbled, feet kicking slightly.

Suddenly, there was a shot outside. Elana whipped her head around, promptly positioning herself in front of Bean. More shots followed. Bounty hunters again.

She knew the drill already, so she quickly scooped Bean up and placed him in his pram. The baby was silent, staring up at her with big eyes, and a feeling of fear creeped along their bond. That was when she knew that something was wrong, that something was different from the other times. The shooting was still continuing, going on for longer than usual. There were too many shots for it to be only one bounty hunter, there had to be more than before, a small army?

A Nikto, who she recognized as Heku, ran inside the small quarters, two blasters in his hand.

"You stay here," he told her with his accented Basic, a frown on his face. "These are different hunters."

Elana nodded, eyes wide, and went to the pram, not closing it yet, before nudging it towards the wall, so it would be out of the way.

Heku looked over his shoulder before putting a blaster in her hand. "Doesn't look good," he said, "shoot them if they get in."

With those words, he ran outside again, leaving Elana reeling. If they get in? That had never happened before, not even close. Normally, all two dozen of the Niktos were enough to dispatch any bounty hunters.

The front door, made of sturdy durasteel closed with a screech while the sound of blaster fire rang through the air, the shots now muffled through it. Elana fumbled with the weapon in her hand, heart beating a staccato, shoulders squared.

It was becoming louder outside; they seemed to have set up some kind of blaster gun that was shooting in the direction of the housing camp.

Clenching her jaw tightly, she clutched the blaster in her shaking hands. They were right outside. Elana could hear the blaster shots, the screams of the Niktos who were defending Bean and her, the sounds of a brutal fight going on just a few meters away from them. The pram was right behind her, and Bean was silent, watching with wide eyes.

"It's all right, Bean", Elana heard herself say, doing her best not to panic. "I'll protect you."

Her heart was thumping hard in her chest and she feared that she would become dizzy. The nauseating feeling of helplessness creeped up Elana's throat and she honestly did not know what to do.

Fight them? Laughable. Elana was barely able to shoot straight. Negotiate with them? Probably not even that. Most of the time the hunters were gunned down quickly, and it would have been the only thing worth mentioning on that particular day. But this? They were mowing down the Niktos like it was nothing, and the chance of the Niktos getting them was dwindling with every shot.

Bean and her had to stay together no matter what. Hopefully, they were bounty hunters who would take them alive and she could go with Bean as his caretaker. As long as the both of them were together, they stood a chance.

It was going to be fine. It would be fine.

"No matter what, I'll stay with you," she told Bean, looking at him with desperation. Pulling the tiny child near her, Elana kissed his forehead, eyes scrunched together, trying to keep the tears from escaping.

Bean did not make a sound, but she swore he could understand what was happening.

The shots stopped.

She closed the pram, hands shaking.

One Nikto ran in, blaster in hand. He nodded at her before positioning himself behind one of the pillars. Elana held her breath, heart in her chest. They shot at the door. They actually used blaster bolts to get through the door. When it collapsed inwards, she was surprised that there were only two bounty hunters. An IG-unit bounty droid and- was that a Mandalorian?

Elana froze. Oh no.

If it was a Mandalorian, then her chances of getting out alive were very small indeed.

The Nikto tried to shoot at him but with lightning fast speed and uncanny precision the Mandalorian made short work of him with a single shot.

"Anyone else?" came the wry rhetorical question, crackled through a modulator.

She pulled the trigger.

It actually hit him, glanced off his pauldron with a ping. Elana had no time to celebrate her little victory however, as blaster bolts suddenly rained down on her, and she lunged behind the pillar, seeking shelter, shoulders hunched up. The dust and smoke made it hard to see, but she could make out a blaster bolt was uncomfortably near Bean's pram, and panic welled up in her. "Cease fire! I surrender!" she shouted, squeezing her eyes shut and pressing herself into the pillar some more.

"Cease fire, please!"

They stopped shooting.

Elana closed her eyes, fighting off her tears. This is it. "Don't shoot, I'm coming with you," she said as soon as she swallowed the lump in her throat, "I'm the one you're looking for." Stepping out from behind her pillar, palms raised in surrender, heart beating fast, she blinked up at the two bounty hunters, subtly shielding Bean's pram in the process.

The Mandalorian's tracking fob was pointed at her, through her. Maybe, hopefully she could play it as if she was the bounty. Maybe they could leave Bean in peace. There must have been someone who had survived, right? They could take care of Bean. She would gladly suffer for more than a hundred lifetimes if it meant that Bean would be safe.

Breathing hard, trembling like a leaf, she tried to suppress her tears, scared to death. "Please, don't kill me, I'll go with you," she got out, voice shaky. Please let them think that I am the bounty.

The droid's head whirled around to Elana and she could not help her flinch. The Mandalorian stood rigidly, his helmet tilted down at her menacingly. He stepped closer, the fob trained on her, beeping rapidly.

"Identify yourself. You are not the bounty," the droid commanded.

She gulped, feeling ice cold. "Elana Lissiri," she choked out, throat not properly working. So there went the chance of properly protecting Bean.

"Step aside," the Mandalorian told her, voice low and raspy. She shook her head, vision blurring, trying to stay in the way of them, but the Mandalorian grabbed her wrist efficiently, and turned her around, twisting her arm against her back. Elana grimaced in pain, and struggled against him briefly.

"Step aside or I'll make you," he threatened, and she felt a blaster poking between her shoulder blades.

For a split second, Elana thought about doing something reckless like stomping on his feet or freeing herself somehow, but then let herself go limp. She would not do Bean any favors if she got herself shot, and he was too strong to overpower anyways. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, internally begging for forgiveness.

The tracking fob in the Mandalorian's hand was loud in her ears, every beep made dread curl in her belly and her chest seize up. He shoved her aside roughly when it was clear that she had been shielding the pram. The IG-unit behind him raised its blasters and stalked towards Bean's hiding place. The Mandalorian cuffed her against a pipe sticking out of the wall, securing one wrist so she would not escape.

"Don't hurt him, please, Maker, please don't," Elana begged, sinking to her knees. Trying her best to shield how terrified she was from their bond, she sent out as much warmth as she could to the little child. Both bounty hunters moved closer to Bean, the Mandalorian pressing the button in the centre of the pram.

It opened with a hiss, and she could see how Bean sat up, ears raised and head tilted in interest.

"He is just a baby," Elana whispered, willing the tears to stay at bay, "Just a baby, please don't kill him." Elana couldn't tear her eyes away from the tiny green child, certain that that was it. They would kill them both. She took in the soft petal ears, the big dark eyes, the tiny, adorable button nose for what was probably the last time, and tried not to cry. She loved the little one. She loved him so much.

"Wait. They said fifty years old", she barely registered the Mandalorian speaking, his voice rough like gravel.

"Species age differently", the IG-unit replied. "Perhaps it could live many centuries."

"Please." Breath ragged, she looked up at the bounty hunters. "Please, I'll do anything, but don't kill him."

Bean leaned forward, big eyes curious, pushing down his blanket to get a better view of the newcomers. A questioning feeling ran along their bond. Elana's heart nearly broke in two.

"Sadly, we'll never know." The IG unit raised its blaster, and she tried to get in front of the pram without success, straining against the cuff. The Mandalorian stopped the droid before the blaster was fired, though. It was a cruel, cruel thing, giving her a moment of hope that the child would survive. Breath ragged, she tried to stop the panicked noises rising in her throat.

"No. We'll bring it in alive."

"The commission was quite specific," the IG-unit said, "The asset was to be terminated."

Elana closed her eyes, shaking like a leaf now. Not Bean, she thought, despair rolling off her in waves, please, not my Bean. She tried to get to the pram again, rattling at the cuff with all her strength, not caring when it hurt and cut into her skin.

A shot rang out.

She gave a full body flinch, hunching into herself. But the bond was not broken. Nor did she feel any pain or fear.

The bond was not broken.

They didn't kill Bean.

Elana looked up, eyes wide, head full of questions.

The IG-unit fell to the ground with a thud. Smoke rose from the central processing unit. She stared at it before shifting her gaze to the other bounty hunter.

The Mandalorian seemed to be transfixed by Bean. He reached out a finger hesitantly, and after a second, Bean reached back, letting out a delighted coo.

Elana blinked in confusion. Bean likes him? Something about their interaction struck her deeply, and the bond between Bean and her suddenly swelled, as if something clicked into place.

The Mandalorian's helmet then snapped around to her, and she flinched again. "Are you its caretaker?" he asked gruffly. Elana barely managed to nod, scared out of her wits.

He was quiet for a long time, his presence alone enough to make her hold her breath. Then he walked over, and took off her cuff more gently than she would have expected from a bounty hunter.

She looked up at him, shaking in fear, the visor glaring down menacingly. A low command came from him, causing shivers to run down her back.

"Pack your things."

……………

Thank you for reading! I hope you liked it!

Also a HUGE thank you at my beta @mndalorians, Cass had listened to me ramble so much about this story and helped me with so many scenes and I love her. Pls check out her stories as well, she has beautiful fics!

Tags: @binggrae-banana-milk @b0n-chann @pisss-offf-ghostt @chibi-liz05 @din-damn-djarin @soldade @yourexcellentboiiii @chaotic-noceur @ezrasarm @hdlynn @mndalorians @over300books @agirllovespasta

[enchantcdstories]

The Strength Within Her

Words: 2774

Tags: Pure fluff! Some swearing! 

A/N: Here’s the Brendan/Theo fic! I tried my best to fix their ending but its a little all over the place. 

Find it on A03

V watched as Theo slumped into the plastic chair, her head in her hands after having been just told that her best friend in the whole world was gone. Something ate away at V’s stomach, the gut feeling in the back of her head gnawing at her. Do something. Fix this. V tugged at her hair, taking a few steps away to think. Think, think, think.

She could buy the vending machine, sure, she had the eddies for it. V sighed. She couldn’t fix Brendan. She couldn’t fix that kind of machinery. V stopped, realization hitting her like Jackie’s ARCH bike when she called it and wasn’t paying attention. Viktor. That man could fix anything right?

“Hey...Theo? I’ll uh.. See you around okay? Call me if you need anything?” V said, turning to face the woman. She tried not to make direct eye contact, Theo’s face just looked so sad. The girl nodded, sinking her head back into her hands as V turned away.

Pulling up Viktor’s number onto her interface, V thumbed quietly with the zipper on her jacket- waiting for the ripperdoc himself to pick up.

“V! What’s up? Everything good? The engram treating you okay?” Viktor’s voice sounded concerned and almost preoccupied at the same time. V bit at her lip, looking back in the direction of Theo as she walked to where her car was.

“I’m good, I mean..about as good as I can get with an engram taking over my brain..listen, do you know anything about uh...vending machines?” V asked nervously, this whole idea sounding stupid. The silence on Viktor’s end wasn’t any more reassuring.

“Vending machines?” His voice was full of confusion and apprehension.

“Yeah..there’s.. a S.C.S.M that..got a firmware wipe and...look it’s really tough to explain, but do you think you could help me out?” V sounded more like a child begging for parental help than a young woman at this point. The sound of metal clanging made V wince, tempted to hang up and forget this whole crazy idea. Viktor sighed.

“I mean...I know fuck all about vending machines but a firmware revert shouldn’t be too hard?....Do I dare ask what this is all for?” V sighed herself and mentally checked to see how many eddies she still had left.

“It’s a long story, I can pay ya. Meet me at the maintenance point by Megabuilding H8 in an hour?” V said, covering her eyes as she squinted over to the direction of the shop that held Brendan. Viktor confirmed, muttering about her owning him anyways and hung up. V waited for Johnny to show up, complain about this getting in the way of his plan and it was all a waste of time. V secretly thought that He felt something for that vending machine too.

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“I’m sorry...how much for the fucker?” V said, leaning on the counter of the gonk that ran the maintenance point. “We aren’t even gonna like… take him anywhere special. We’re just gonna move him back to his original spot.” The man on the other side of the counter crossed his arms.

“You heard me. You wanna change him and shit? Lord knows what fucking else? You gotta pay.” V put her head on the counter, stressed and feeling her vision starting to glitch out from the chip that was shoved into her brain. The gonk spoke again as if he felt something for this whole situation.

“Look, if it makes you feel better, I’ll throw the papers in. Legally the hunk of junk will be yours.” V groaned again. Gods that was a lot of eddies. That could pay for the ankle upgrades she’d be saving for. She’d barely have enough left over to throw something Vik’s way. Still, the look on Theo’s face when she was away from Brendan…

“Fine...here..Just, give me the papers.” V said, exasperated as she extended her hand out, transferring the eddies. The man held the papers out, some sort of legal form that was like transferring the ownership of a car. ‘I could have bought a new car with that money’, V thought. She snatched the papers up, folding them and walking over to where a powered down Brendan sat. The man wheeled a dolly over, jamming the edge of it under the S.C.S.M. V could hear Viktor outside the shop, talking on his phone to a client or something. The moment Viktor laid eyes on the machine, V could see the light just fade from them- wondering what V got him into.

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“Okay so back up, hang on- We’re doing this for a girl? Is she in love with the thing? Is that legal?” Viktor said, a screwdriver in his mouth and he worked to pry the back panel of Brendan off. V had explained the whole situation to him, but clearly, Vik was bit out of the loop on the whole ‘super-smart AI vending machines’.

“I mean, all I heard was that he was her best friend...and the look on her face! I couldn’t just do nothing.” V shrugged, leaning against the wall as she watched Viktor work. Johnny had glitched over in the corner and was smoking a cigarette, keeping to himself. Viktor chuckled.

“Always the people pleaser, eh V?” He said, dropping the back panel on the floor and peering inside. V just rolled her eyes, picking at something on her boot. Viktor grunted as he sat up, looking over his tools and grunting.

“Can you like… fix him?” V asked. She wondered if she just paid a good stack of Eddies for something that could be pawned off for spare parts. Maybe she could just..give Theo his faceplate and call it good?

“Well I’ve reversed firmware’s before, but this might take a little longer. I’m no miracle worker.” Viktor looked over to V, his voice giving her a hint of reassurance. V scoffed. “You’ve fixed me up plenty of times, even if I do got a shelf life that’s worse than milk’s.” She tried to lighten the mood, but the look on Viktor’s face didn’t look like it helped. “What I’m saying is, if anyone can do it, it’s you. Probably. I think the guy at the shop only knew how to update firmware.” V said, trying to cover up her fuck up. “And imagine the look on Theo’s face when she see’s her best friend is back!” V chirped, her voice a faux cheery tone. Even Johnny winced at that, giving a thumbs down. V flipped him off.

Viktor brought over some little machine, pulling the cord from a little compartment on it and plugging it into Brendan. V leaned her head back against the wall, her mind wandering back to Theo’s heartbroken face. That poor girl’s face was ingrained in her brain.

“Chick had a rough life. She pack-bonded to that heap of metal. Don’t blame her one bit.” Johnny’s voice filled V’s head as he walked over, flicking his cigarette to the floor and watching as it flickered away into a million little pixels.

“She said something about a breakup, right? Or at least a tough relationship..” V said, internally to her engram. Johnny moved so he was sitting down next to her, elbow propped up on his knee.

“She’s got a sentient vending machine, you got a biochip of a super famous rockstar in your head. We all need our comfort objects, huh?” Johnny said, moving his elbow as if he was gonna elbow her ribs. V felt nothing but was somehow still annoyed.

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At some point, as Viktor worked on Brendan, V fell asleep. It felt like it was the first time V had fallen asleep in days, sudden exhaustion kicking in. Viktor noticed a couple of hours ago, but chose to let her sleep anyways. The poor girl looked beat. Viktor finally wheeled away from the machine, having screwed the back panel in tightly and pulling out the electrical cord for the machine.

“Hey V, ‘bout to power this thing up, you wanna wake up?” Vik called, startling the merc awake. V groaned, rubbing at her eyes. Johnny was nowhere in sight, but Viktor was looking at her expectantly.

“What? Yeah, yeah I’m up. Plug ‘im in.” She said, moving to stand in front of the towering S.C.S.M. The vending machine lit up Vik’s entire shop, the pink of Brendan’s ‘clothes’ casting a deeper shade of pink across the walls.

“V! Boy am I glad to see you!” Brendan chirped, his eyes shifting left and right. V smiled, the same old Brendan was back.

“Hey bud, glad to see you too.” “What did I miss while I was gone? Any important drink orders I should remember?” Brendan said, his screen flickering just ever so slightly. V shook her head, glancing at Viktor. The man seemed just more confused, but sat back down on his chair.

“Nah, nothing like that. You were barely out for a day. Theo’s missing you something fierce though.” She said, hoping he still remembered her.

“Theo! Is she okay? Where is she? I hope she’s okay.” If a S.C.S.M could wag it’s tail like a puppy, Brendan would be doing that right about now.

“Relax, she’s fine. I kinda….told her that you were gone and she, well she took it pretty hard. Got the best ripperdoc in town to fix you up though. How do you uh...feel? Can you feel?” She added the last part under her breath. Brendan was silent for a moment, as if he was thinking.

“I would like to see Theo. I think I feel fine!” The machine said to her. V patted Brendan on the main screen...face-thing before moving over to Viktor. She extended her hand to him, intending to transfer some eddies to him.

“Thanks again, Vik, I know I keep saying I owe ya but this time...I really do owe ya. I got about...5k Eddies left, I hope that covers it.” She said, internally preparing to be broke for the next couple of days. Vik shook his head.

“Keep ‘em.”

“Vik-”

Viktor shook his head again. “Keep ‘em. You get to haul the thing back to Japantown though. I ain’t gonna help you with that.”

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Theo’s world felt...empty. Just the night before she had broken up her relationship, on the advice of Brendan of course. He helped her through so many rough patches and then this morning he was just….gone. She felt so powerless. The maintenance workers wouldn’t listen to her… she tried everything! Theo sat in one of the plastic chairs just in the first level of the megabuilding. Her apartment was a few floors up, she even remembers how she met Brendan. The one day she wanted a coffee from a vending machine and the S.C.S.M greeted her and asked if she was okay.

The rest was history.

He was so sweet, so caring. Knew exactly what to say when Theo struggled. Her daily routine revolved itself around Brendan now. Now? He was gone. Physically no, he wouldn’t be gone. The machine would be there still. But Brendan? His personality? Would be gone.

It was like a void in her heart, something in her life that was missing. She broke off her relationship and now with Brendan gone? Who did she have? Theo took a cigarette out of her pocket, sparking up the lighter and inhaling deeply. She wouldn’t cry over a stupid machine, yet here she was- tears threatening to spill.

Theo sat there for hours, watching the world go by as she sat in her little chair and smoked. She barely moved, barely felt. The sun eventually rose to it’s highest peak in the sky before falling back down. Night City falling under a blanket of colder temperatures as darkness fell. Theo stood up eventually. Her bones and muscles ached as she moved for the first time. She found her way to her apartment- purely on autopilot now.

Her apartment was cold, lonely, empty. It had been for a while, she realized, but now it felt more so. Theo was just about to head to bed when she heard a commotion out in the hall. Normally, especially in good old megabuilding H8, that wasn’t any cause for concern. The voice sounded oddly familiar though.

“..V?” Theo mumbled, getting up from her spot on the couch. She pressed the button for the door to slide open. V was there, standing in the hallway looking sweaty and exhausted.

And so was Brendan.

Theo leaned against the doorframe, confusion washing over her face.

“Hey uh...so listen, its a long story- but do you have space in your apartment? I was gonna put him back in his normal spot but...I’d hate to see him get vandalized or some shit.” V said, leaning an elbow on the dolly that was wedged under the S.C.S.M. Theo didn’t know what to say, merely opening her mouth like a fish. She merely moved out of the way as V struggled to haul the giant machine through the door.

“Vik fixed him up, just gotta plug him in and he’s good as new.” V said, grunting as she heaved the machine to Theo’s living room. He was angled awkwardly so he faced Theo’s bed, but no one cared at that point. She merely scurried out of the way, watching dumbly as V set Brendan down.

“He...I don’t...understand..” She said, unable to form words. V waved a hand, the cord flopping about. Theo reached for the cord, knowing where the only remaining outlet in her apartment was and plugging the machine in. Instantly her apartment was lit up with an otherworldly glow.

“That was some nap!.... Where am I?” Brendan chimed. V had leaned against the wall, watching as Theo moved to face Brendan. “Brendan?”

“Theo! Boy am I glad to see you! I missed you!” Tears pricked at Theo’s eyes. Happy ones this time. She looked over to V, rushing forward and gripping her in a bone shattering hug.

“Oh V… thank you, thank you so much!” She said, grinning up at her ‘friend’. V shrugged, not making eye contact.

“ was nothing, oh uh...here.” She said, taking the papers from her pants pocket. “He’s yours now, I guess? Your own personal uh..vending machine.” She shrugged. Theo just stared at the papers. She turned to Brendan, throwing her arms across the wide electronic.

“Oh gods I’ve missed you, B. I was so worried. They took you away I just...V tried to get you back and when she told me they wiped you… I thought… I’d never-” Theo was openly crying now, still clutching Brendan.

“It’s okay Theo, you’re strong, I believed in you all along. Am I in your apartment? You told me so much about your apartment!” Brendan chirped, his voice sounding more bubbly than usual. Theo nodded, a half sob half laugh escaping her lips.

“It is, you’re here and...you’re mine now! You don’t have to stay down on the street anymore.. No one’s gonna vandalize you!” Theo’s voice went on, about how much fun they would have now that Theo didn’t have to worry about him anymore. V rubbed the back of her neck, feeling like an intruder now.

“I’ll leave you guys to it, I guess. I’ll come visit at some point?” V didn’t know why she asked that, when she knew herself that her time was limited. Maybe Johnny would visit for her. Theo looked and nodded, before turning back to talk to her best friend. V let herself out quietly.

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It was dark now when V exited the megabuilding, her own stomach rumbling for some of the local food that filled the air’s scent. The entire day had been just a rollercoaster of emotions. She leaned down to light a smoke, one of the ones Johnny had begged her to smoke originally.

“Nothing like a happy ending, huh?” Johnny said, phasing next to her as she walked to her car. V said shrugged.

“I don’t get one, might as well give her one. She can go off and live her happy life with her vending machine. I got...a computer chip in my head that makes me smoke.” She shrugged. Johnny laughed.

“You got me. Ain’t that enough?” He said, referring to his whole body. V rolled her eyes.

“Well, out of all the engrams in the world, I’m glad I got Johnny fuckin’ Silverhand.”

[ohholyfanfics]

Daycare 0.4|Tom Holland

Last part: x 

She sighed softly as Liam’s soft whimpers echoed through the walls of her office, her eyes scanning the new application as her free hand-highlighted important information. Liam had been teething and she knew there was so little anyone could do for the young boy. Tom wasn’t sure how to handle the situation and more times than not end up calling his mother with a panic as she would softly assure him that it was completely and utterly normal everything that Liam was feeling.

“What do I do Mum?” he mumbled rubbing his temple as Liam’s cries were echoing off the walls of his home. He had canceled plans with his family the moment he noticed his son’s sore mood.

“Sweetheart he’s teething it’s completely normal for him to be this way.”

“He won’t stop crying..” he mumbled as he pulled the phone from his ear holding it out so his mother can hear the cries coming out from her grandson's lips.

“Give give him some of that pain medication that helps.”

Evelyn didn’t want to bother Tom at work but knew Liam was in no position to stay. She had reluctantly called him and explaining the situation at hand, Tom had promised to be there as soon as possible. She had finally gotten him, down and was now finishing off her stack of applications when her office door softly opened. Tom’s head popping in as she gave him a soft smile.

“Here’s sleeping right now..” she hummed as she pointed to the cot that was placed against the wall. His face scrunched up in worry as he looked over at his son, who was indeed sleeping peacefully hugging his blanket.

“Oh god I’m so sorry darling..” he mumbled out as his heart raced with worry. He watched as she pushed her chair back waving him off, her hair was slightly devilish and her cheeks rosy.

“Tom it’s okay, these things happen.”

Evelyn was now standing beside him with a hand rested on his shoulder. She knew it wasn’t easy being a parent and she couldn’t imagine being a single parent at that. She held a great level of respect at the man before her, she may not know the extent of his story but she knew enough to know Tom Holland was an amazing father, who at times forgets that it’s okay to feel a little lost. 

“You’re doing great.” She assured him as he looked back at her with an unknown fear in his eyes. She smiled softly knowing he just needed a little push right now. “No one's perfect Tom, it’s okay to feel a little lost now and then.”

Tom left the center with a bottle of medication that was a bit stronger than the one he’d kept at home. He wasn’t at all sure what to do, but Evelyn’s words kept repeating themselves in his head as he headed him. His mind was swirling with thoughts as he pulled into his driveway, his heart racing with worry and an unknown feeling that had him slightly panicked.

“Hey mate everything alright?”

Tom shook his head as he gestured to the sleeping baby in his arms, Harrison frowned as he checked the time on his wrist knowing it was slightly earlier than normal for Liam to be from daycare. Tom promised to explain after setting the baby in his room and walked back into his home office with the baby monitor and in comfy clothes.

“Liam’s ill..” he mumbled as he login into his computer leaning back in his chair. His hand running through his hair, as Harrison frowned.

“He alright? Do you need to take him to A&E?” he questioned as Tom shook his head knowing it would be a useless trip.

“Kinda pointless honestly mate. Just gonna work from home until he’s well enough to go back.”

Evelyn laughed as she took the pint from Sophia. After a last-minute change of plans Evelyn found herself surrounded by a few close friends and alcohol. It wasn’t how she was expecting her night to go, but it was most certainly better than showing up to a blind date with a bloke whom she never met. She knew that her brother and Harrison meant with trying to set her up with someone but it just wasn’t in the cards for her at the moment. Evelyn liked the idea of not actively trying to meet someone, she wanted a natural connection. She wanted it with someone else, not that she would ever admit to herself that what and who she wanted to be wasn’t at all on the table.

“Thought you had a date tonight?” Brad chuckled softly as she shrugged her shoulders with a soft smile.

“Plans fell through.”

“Did you cancel Evy?” Sophia pipped up studied her friend with a raised eyebrow. She had her suspicions about Evelyn’s feelings for Tom and they were confirmed on her first day back at work. 

“No, they canceled actually.”

“My offer still stands.” Sophia hummed sending her a quick wink. Evelyns cheeks flushed at the thought of Sophia’s older brother, Scott. He was a good looking bloke but the last thing she needed right now was a forced relationship.

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

"And what are we gossiping about?" Erica mumbled as she looked between the two with bright eyes and a soft smirk. "Is it's the bubbling romance between her and Brad?"

Evelyn's cheeks flushed as she shook her head wanting nothing more than to drop the topic at hand. Sophia squealed nodding her head but knowing that as much as she would love for Evelyn to date her brother Brad and the hot single father from the center were more of her type.

"Can we just drop it?" she asked with a soft smile her finger tracing the lines on the table.

"We just care a tab too much babe, no harm honestly.."

"I know girls I'm just trying to focus on the center at the moment," she stated as she thought back to her brother's blind date he'd set up for her. "Plus, I already have a date scheduled for next week."

It wasn’t long before the conversation had flown to their workweek and vacation plans. Evelyn had also announced she planned on doing some maintenance at the center once the week-long holiday rolled around. The walls were due for free paint and a few new items for each room, that and the fact that she hoped to spend the rest of the week hide away from society at her family's vacation house in the countryside.

She giggled softly at something Brad was saying when she noticed her phone screen light up from the corner of her eye. It was getting late, and the pub was slightly less crowded than before. Her finger lightly gripped the device as her throat ran dry at the contact name, her head spinning slightly as she excused herself. Tugging the sides of her cardigan closer, Evelyn slide her finger across the screen calling the number back.

She couldn’t differentiate between the rapid beating of her heart and the ringing as she waited for them to answer. Her bottom lip tucked safely in between her teeth as she let out small controlled breaths. Her palms sweaty as the phone nearly slipped from her fingers as he voices flooded through the speaker.

“God Evelyn, I’m so sorry..”

She frowned slightly as she softly kicked at a pebble. Her heartbeat increasing a mile a minute as she heard his labored breaths and the whales of his son getting louder and louder.

“Tom it’s okay..” she breathed out running a hand through her hair. “Is everything okay?”

“No jus-fuck Evelyn I don’t know what to do.”

Taglist: 

@greenarrowhead​ @xinsonyax​ @rescue3000​ @abschaffer2​ @fav-fan-fic​ @cutiepiemimi13​ @ditzymoon​ @starkerismysexuality​ @jackiehollanderr​ @yourbiggestspiderfan​ @obsessed-librarian​ @parkeret​ @peterparkersdestiny​ @averyfosterthoughts​ @tomkindholland​ @photoshopart15​ @hannahholland1811​ @selluequestrian​

[xthefxrgxttenx]

@4x0hxnxroll​ said : 🤝 + Beth & Emily

texts the other memes at 3 am: 

Neither girl really does this all too seriously, because Emily puts on a much more serious persona she wishes she had to. And Beth just isn’t funny. And if it does happen, it’s done semi-ironically, or at least so they claim, because, God, who sends each other MEMES at 3 in the morning? Which, to that end, despite not being traditionally funny, Beth is the more likely candidate between the two, especially earlier on until Emily feels able to show her dorkier/nerdier aspects to Beth. And the more Beth grows attached, the less and less ironic (and more and more frequent) the memes become. Such is the way of being a walking fucking paradox. But again, with all that sad, it’s not a hugely integral component of their friendship/relationship. And is more just a “Man, I’m fuckin’ bored, can you believe I’m looking up memes about a fuckin’ llama who kidnapped a child? Help me.’ kind of escape.

tries to convince the other to do an idea that definitely sounds questionable:

Both, but for entirely different reasons. Beth is the more unstable wildchild of the two, digging through her brother’s medicine drawer, using Chris for weed and coke, barhopping, fooling around with strangers etc. And Beth can start to have that Jess-effect on Emily as their relationship progresses, drawing her out of her more cautious bubble and giving her a chance to live a much louder and more adventurous life than she’d have if Beth wasn’t around. Emily, however, has that weird impulsive need to flirt with temptation, and will, entirely on a whim, in a random fit of courage, dare Beth to do something more intimately personal between the two. The kind of adventure that Beth would herself wouldn’t ever be able to initiate. (Like kiss her panties in the living room half naked after texting Sam to come help them.) 

is the designated driver and who always gets wasted:

This depends on the night, to be honest, and often just doesn’t happen at all. Beth can be responsible when she wants. And at times can feel almost COMPELLED to be. So if she knew Emily was gonna be off her face smashed and vulnerable, she’d definitely be a designated driver and stay sober enough to keep her safe. But then, I also kind of feel like once Emily starts to notice how weirdly repressed yet impulsive Beth truly is, she’d actually  want to be a designated driver for Beth once in a while so she can not ONLY get wasted, but also get wasted with SOMEONE WHO CARES. However, absent those exceptions, both girls are likely to just get an uber home because rich and fuck life.

always has to host the impromptu sleepover:

BETH. BETH BETH BETH BETH. BETHBETHBETH. BETHHHH. Emily’s dad is an absolute fucking cunt and while he’s more fond of Beth and Hannah on the surface than their brother, Josh, he’s still a bit of an ABSOLUTE FUCKING CUNT. Emily’s parties are therefore ALWAYS meticulously planned, to make sure her dad isn’t out and that she has MORE than enough time to safely clean up before he gets back. Beth, meanwhile... Sure, Beth’s dad might also be a bit of an absolute fucking cunt, but at least he’s an absolute fucking cunt who DOESN’T FUCKING CARE. Her parents spend more time across the national border than in their home country of Canada. Their house is often vacant, save for Josh and Hannah, who are usually always down for getting shit faced, too. Post-Game, Beth has her own little apartment she lives in that Emily could honestly move into if you needed.

who’s netflix account gets mooched off of:

Actually, in a rare turn of events, its BETH who has her account mooched off of. This is due to Emily’s dad paying for her Netflix and being a lot more strict with what he qualifies as APPROPRIATE for his should-be prodigy of a daughter. Beth’s account, however, is paid for by a dad who could literally give zero shits what Beth watches so long as she stays outta trouble. So Emily can safely watch anything she wants on Beth’s Netflix without being judged or berated by her father. (Though she sometimes has to lie to Hannah and Josh about just exactly WHO is mooching. I mean, come on, when is Beth Freakin’ Washington going to watch CELEBRITY MASTERMIND?) Post-Game, however, might be a different story... (As in, Beth kinda estranges herself from her parents and that sweet free money, and Emily might give Beth her pass and then just blame Beth when Henry wonders who the fuck watched an entire season of Sex and The City overnight.) Once Emily also gets cut off, they find the money for an account between themselves.

brings all the snacks and who supplies the movie:

Emily supplies the movie. With two very specific exceptions. Those exceptions being: 1. When its an early premier or pre-release of one of Beth’s dad’s productions. He’s a bit of a narc and LIKES to have any and all eyes he can to appreciate his psychotic masterpieces. And sometimes Beth genuinely likes some of his films and just wants to watch one once in a while. 2. If Beth is super pushy or passionate about a specific movie, Emily will cave but she won’t hide her feelings. If it’s shit she WILL bitch about it. And if it’s REALLY SHIT, she’ll pull the “I wish Jess was here” card. As for snacks... It’s typically Beth because Emily is full anorexic and unlikely to bring anything “snacky” to begin with, and Beth kind of has this weird obsession with eating with people/people watching her eat. So bringing snacks that Emily might wanna eat with her brings Beth a bizarre sense of joy.

is usually the first one to say sorry after a fight:

Beth. Though only if she genuinely sees that she was in the wrong. Both girls are pretty stubborn and guarded like that, but I do feel like Beth would break first, especially later in the relationship when she’s more obsessed. That being said, Emily also has a pretty quiet GUILTY STREAK that sparks up in game. During the pre-order bonus scene she ends up being pretty apologetic/grateful to Matt for handling her “high-maintenance” self, and she is downright terrified and blaming herself in her better Matt endings. And even if this is sometimes rooted in insecurity, I do think she’d be capable of having those moments with Beth as well, provided Beth had shown extensive enough loyalty through a lot of conflict/drama.

is the ‘ mom friend ‘:

Errrrrrr... Kind of see the bit about the designated driver. It’s kind of the same deal, honestly. Beth is repressed mom having a quiet quarter life crisis. Therefore she sometimes takes care of Emily. Emily is a repressed everything who actually does have a soft side beneath that icy fortress, and would feel bad for Beth and wanna let her be a wild child in safety. But then both are also royally fucked up and might just say fuck it all and get wasted and wake up inside each other panties on a park bench one night. That being said, Emily kind of has the encouraging mother role when it comes to Beth’s insecurities, namely her leg and her eating habits. While Beth is sort of Emily’s tough loving mother when Emily is making stupid mistakes like wanting to call Mike at two in the morning when she can’t even stand without using Beth as a crutch. So it really does just sort of depend on the situation and whether one or both of them are going through psychological bullshit at the times.

calls the other at 12 am to wish the other a happy birthday without fail:

I actually don’t know, to be honest. I feel like it would happen, and both would do it almost ritualistically after the first time, but the first time would either be: 1. Emily because she’s actually secretly super organized in life and might genuinely know certain birthdays of certain friends and just do it on impulse one day. Possibly while drunk. Probably while drunk. 2. Beth would do it out of a need to make Emily feel noticed and special once she learns about the true depths of Emily’s insecurities and need for validation and fear that no one would actually give a shit about her birthday if SHE didn’t make a big deal out of it to begin with. Which really it just depends who does it first. I don’t think either is so romantic or sappy to always do it outright. But once it IS done, if at all, then I feel they’d both do in return for the other doing it. LOYALTY & RECIPROCATION.

is the better wingman to the other:

Ummmm... Emily. Definitely Emily. It has to be Emily. Which, that isn’t to say that Emily is a GOOD wingman. It’s to say that Beth honestly COULDN’T wingman for Emily because Beth could never, ever, EVER be able to overcome her own insecurities to willingly guide attention to someone other than herself. Especially when maybe she herself has a small crush on Emily and wants to fuck her and have Emily’s attention all on HER. (It’s definitely not a SMALL crush.) Emily, meanwhile, would probably deflectively (during) or indifferently (early on) wingwoman for Beth because she’s not allowed to be gay and she spends a lot of time hung up on Mike. THAT BEING SAID: Post-Game, I genuinely don’t think Emily would be able to wingman for Beth either.

‘ the strong must protect the sweet ‘ , who’s the ‘ strong ‘ and who’s the ‘ sweet ‘:

HAVE YOU SEEN THEM?! The bitches protect each other. You scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours. (Maybe literally.) That’s why they’re both designated drivers or moms at different times. That’s why Beth lets Emily use her netflix or stay over. That’s why Emily would at all want to take care of Beth during wild nights out. That being said, I do think, by literal definition, that Emily is physically stronger than Beth (especially post-game due to muscular dystrophy and her fucked up leg post-mine) while Beth might be sweeter than Emily. at least on the surface. But yeah, it’s again SITUATIONAL, based on whether one needs PROTECTING or one needs to be CARED FOR.

pulls the other up for karaoke to sing a duet together:

Oh. It’s Beth. Let’s be real. No fucking way does Emily do karaoke voluntarily. Meanwhile, Beth is a wildchild, as stated, and more importantly she LOVES noise -- ESPECIALLY MUSIC. Hell, it’s her FAVORITE NOISE, even. (Apart from Emily moaning. AHEM.) So Beth would absolutely drag Emily up for karaoke, even if Emily was bitching about it every frictional heel-scrape of the way. The ONLY example possible where Emily takes Beth on stage is out of SPITE. If Jess or Mike or Matt or Hannah has pissed her off sufficiently, maybe peer-pressured her into it, and Emily wants to HURT them. And depending on the specific atmosphere, Beth might just be up for being Emily’s metaphorical blade.

[ajoraverse]

Does anyone care? Nah ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ . But this meme crossed my main dash so I’m gonna answer it here because I know no one would actually play memes with me anymore. This is the Beta AU post; FFV will be separate.

What OC has the biggest family? How do they get along? I mean, Alfredot has been creating gems for thousands of years by the time she stopped. She generally gets along well with them, for how little time she’s able to spend with them before they get shipped out.

What OC has/is a mentor? Alfredot both had a mentor and has been one. And in better years, she was a fair one. It’s just been in the past 5000 years that she broke and became that one jerk teacher no one likes but is the only one who teaches Advanced Exogeology.

What OC has a huge group of friends? I’m not sure if Skinny/Twig counts because she’s based on a bit canon character, but definitely her. She tends to get along with everyone.

What OC has a small, close group of friends? Mist never makes friends easily, and a lot of that is because of trauma, but she sticks to them when she can.

What OC has, like, one friend? Alfredot used to have a larger pool, but all her friends are either dead or have been driven away by 5000 years of her being a bitter asshole. 

What OC is the Mom Friend? Twig

What OC really needs the Mom Friend around? Bear could honestly really use a friend, given her difficulties, but not a lot of people want to make the effort to slow down for her.

Which OCs are an old married couple (literally or figuratively)? Alfredot and Mist, if they ever reunite

What is your favorite platonic relationship between  your OCs? Twig and Mouse, easily. They’re both so laid back that they can shoot the breeze for years and not get annoyed with each other.

What is your favorite familial relationship between your OCs? Look, Prasiolite was Alfredot’s daughter and I’m sorry I never got to really explore that.

What is your favorite romantic relationship between your OCs? I really love exploring taboo and complicated relationships, so it was always gonna be Alfredot and Mist.

Which two OCs are the most different from each other? Oh, goodness, Twig and Copper are as different as night and day. Up until Twig gets all Ahab, anyway.

Which OCs complement each other the best? This is a good question and I think Twig would be good for helping Burgundy and Copper to step down on the intensity a bit.

Which OCs get along the best with each other? Oh, gosh, probably Sunstone and Twig, if they ever met. Twig would find Sunstone’s genuine desire to do good to be refreshing, and Sunstone would look up to Twig’s unwillingness to let anything get to her.

Whch OCs get along the worst with each other? Copper and Albite (who may or may not be one and the same, opinion pending) would, ironically, find Sunstone’s optimism and goodwill aggravating.

Which OCs don’t know each other, but would get along great if they did? Despite Albite’s disapproval with how pearls are made, she would approve of Copper’s attempts at revolution--mostly what she hates is inaction and compliance. She would also be more approving of Alfredot’s efforts at fueling and informing Copper’s revolution if she had any idea Alfredot would eventually grow a spine. And oh, goodness would Albite love Bismuth and Pearl.

Which OCs don’t know each other, but would hate each other if they did? Sunstone and Star Sapphire do actually know of each other, and Star Sapphire does manipulate Sunstone, but Sunstone would loathe the way Star Sapphire plays behind the scenes (despite, well, doing her own manipulations--Star Sapphire operates out of a necessary distance because she’s ancient beyond belief, Sunstone is still young enough and well-meaning enough to believe the best of people).

Which OCs would make the worst couple? Oh god I cannot see Albite with anyone, she’s too dedicated to her movement and it occupied her every thought. Likewise with Copper.

What’s the strangest way two (or more) OCs have met? Mist might have made a very loud wark when meeting Twig, who was the first of her gems to have met her.

Which non-related OCs have known each other the longest? Star Sapphire and Alfredot.

Which OCs knew each other the shortest time before becoming close friends? Look, Twig will befriend everyone at a moment’s notice.

Which OCs spend the most time together? Stoneshaper is actually the gem who spends the most time with Mist post-corruption, because she likes a captive audience and Mist doesn’t mind her making things in front of her.

Which OCs have fought with each other the most? The triplets fight with everyone, tbh. They’re soldiers without purpose and need a guide.

Do any OCs have friends they haven’t met in person? Not really. Most of them have met at least once. Moonstone had acquaintances she only met through the network, but as she is so detached from everything due to sheer age, she doesn’t grow close to anyone.

Do any OCs have imaginary friends? Nope

Does OC have a hard or easy time making friends? Alfredot has a harder time making friends the older she gets.

How did OC meet their best friend? Peach Pearl was just dropped in Sunstone’s lap one day. And it was a rocky start (haha), but they do get to be close friends.

How did OC meet their worst enemy? Well, see, Lapis dragged Jasper under the sea and forced a fusion for months and Twig hated her since.

How did OC meet their significant other? If OC does not have a SO, do they want one? Sunstone being genuinely ace, she’s just as happy to be bffs with someone.

How does OC get along with their parents? Alfredot got on very well with her maker. Well enough to be apprenticed to her.

Does OC have siblings? Do they get along if they do? Do they wish they had some if they don’t? Twig has plenty of siblings, some she gets along with better than others. But it’s with Jasper that she has the most sibling-like relationship.

Does OC have or want kids? Twig has so many human kids, you guys.

Is OC/Would OC be a good parent? Twig is the best parent. She will drop everything for the kids, even if none of them came from her body. They were her wives’ kids, so they’re her kids too.

What is something unusual OC has bonded with someone over? It’s not been explored at all, but Alfredot started bonding with Albite over ship building and maintenance.

What is the most important relationship in OC’s life? I actually want to say Albite and Alfredot, if just because Albite’s movement and eventual death ended up influencing Alfredot’s life up until she ended up freeing Mist, shuttling freed pearls to the pearl enclave on the first colony, and enabling Copper’s revolution.

How has OC been affected by their friendships? They’ve all been influenced by friendships.

How has OC been affected by their family relationships? Twig is the biggest family girl because of her relationships with other Beta gems

How has OC been affected by their romantic relationship(s) or lack thereof? Losing Mist may have made Alfredot bitter and wholly unlikeable to everyone who has to take her exogeology classes, but Mist was sort of the final element to push Alfredot into her revolutionary support role.

Who does OC consider they have learned their most important life lesson from? Albite sort of set up the scaffolding for Alfredot’s life lessons, but Mist pulled her back enough to see that the scaffolding was there all along.

Who motivates OC? So many things motivate Alfredot, but primarily Albite and Mist.

Who would OC do anything for? Look, Alfredot will give everything to have Mist back.

Who would OC do anything to not have to deal with? If Alfredot never has to deal with Blue Diamond again and not also betray the gems she made, she’ll go rogue at a moment’s notice.

How does OC meet most people? Alfredot mostly meets people through work.

How long does it take OC to open up to people? Alfredot? centuries. Sunstone? minutes, but she always keeps Heliodor to herself.

How much do OC’s friends know about their private life? Most of my OCs are very private people, due in large part to living in an oppressive society in which the walls actually have eyes and ears

How does OC act differently after they know someone better? Alfredot gets a lot less forbidding if she approves of someone.

Who is OC’s favorite person? Alfredot was nice to Sunstone and treated her like an equal, so Sunstone looks up to her a lot and this always mystifies Alfredot.

Who is OC’s least favorite person? The amount of hate Alfredot has for Blue Diamond can be measured on galactic scales, but she would never actually acknowledge it.

Is there anyone OC used to be very close to, but no longer is? Star Sapphire actually does know Moonstone, and they were friends once upon a time. But as they are both old on the scale of nearly a million years, they’ve drifted apart.

What aspects of OC have, consciously or unconsciously, come from someone else? Alfredot kinda gets up the courage to do more than just mourn her losses from Mist.

[ahostandaghost]

All for whoever you want

All then :eyes:

☾ - sleep headcanon

Bane:

Sleeps like a rock some nights, too restless to sleep others. This is especially so if he can’t get any physical activity in, in a day. He needs to move a lot during the day to get all that energy out bc well. He’s a very active person

Zsasz:

Has NO trouble getting sleep, but can also choose to not and he’d be fine? He’s kinda alien like that way. He can also survive on 4 hours a night. Lucky bastard

Lonnie:

Can’t sleep without being held once in a relationship. He’s very independent as a person, but like. Hold him

Jason:

Tosses and turns a lot. Talks in his sleep. He snores but not too bad, it’s very soft

Jonnie:

Lots of nightmares, like Jason, and may get up in the middle of the night if he can’t sleep. He’ll get up and start reading or studying, either with coffee or tea. Might bake, so that’s always nice to wake up to

★ - sad headcanon

Bane:

He has a mix of clausterphobia and loving cramped spaces. If he doesn’t think about being trapped, he’s fine. It stems from the years spent in a prison cell as a child, so he can’t think he’s being contained for too long.

Zsasz:

Locked in a closet frequently as a child for misbehaving, isolated too. His parents had a strict idea of what “misbehaving” was. He’s autistic as well so this happened quite a bit. Being alone so much made him put on this act because he had to learn to entertain himself. Never learned to keep some comments to himself also due to isolation.

Lonnie:

Being the Joker’s son is sad enough tbh, but I headcanon that his mom didn’t want him due to him being an unwanted pregnancy and was cruel to him. She doesn’t think her actions are abusive so he ran from home as soon as he was 18.

Jason:

I don’t think any headcanon I have for him can be any more sad than what happened to him in canon I mean christ

Jonnie:

Lost a patient once to suicide and sometimes pays for a bouquet to be sent to their grave when he can’t stop thinking about them

☆ - happy headcanon

Bane:

He loves those huge ass plushies. He likes it when they’re as big as he is. Idk he just likes big things. He’s like those guys who visit the tiny town to be bigger than everything else, except also for things that are as big as he is bc he’s huge

Zsasz:

WILL dance with you in a vaguely “I’m going to kill you” threatening way and laugh after. Won’t kill you, just wants your reaction and to tease. Loves especially doing the dip thing. It’s rly cute and he only does this when he’s feeling really happy

Lonnie:

Hands deep in a Spencer’s button bin and running out, stealing as many as he can. Need I say more

Jason:

He likes being given outfits to wear by someone who knows him well enough to pick out something he’d love. He’s not hard to please, but you gotta get that aesthetic just right. He WILL immediately put it on. If he loves it he will pick you up and spin you like a doll. Especially if it comes with a really nice pair of boots and jacket

Jonnie:

Whip cream nose boop while baking oh I yearn. He likes to have music playing while he bakes. Will sing softly along if he knows the song well enough. If he knows you’re there and he trusts you he won’t stop. He might be a bit embarrassed but he likes the intimacy. It’s a very quiet joy but !!

☠ - angry/violent headcanon

Bane:

Well we all already know he can break just about anything. He’s slow to actually anger, but like. Expect broken bones at least. If he’s angry at someone he cares about, he will either try to talk it out or leave to go workout and then come back when he feels better to resolve whatever happened.

Zsasz:

Even harder to make truly angry. He’s very flat on emotions. He likes to be silly yeah, but he’s just not intensely emotional. If he’s REALLY angry for any reason, he will distract himself. Work or shooting range, researching targets. Whatever it takes to smooth it over inside before facing it

Lonnie:

Maltov cocktail. Arson. Vaguely threatening wall tags along that person’s daily route. Like. He can be a little petty. As a treat.

Jason:

Explosive temper. Not afraid to throw a punch. He doesn’t like to feel disrespected. Especially if that disrespect is towards his partner or prized possessions.

Jonnie:

Self control. Self control. Self control. He may have outbursts if he has to face someone who’s wronged him in the past or recently. Or if he’s triggered by something. But for the most part, very calm !

✿ - Sex headcanon

Bane:

Likes to feel big and strong with his partner, loves to pick them up during. Doesn’t matter how or in what position. Praise him and he will work extra hard to make you cum multiple times. Force orgasm kink, likes his partner loud, stuck kink (either person). So much foreplay you’d think he enjoys the foreplay more than the actual sex. Medium sex drive imo

Zsasz:

The gloves stay on during sex. Knife kink, hostage kink, blood kink, bondage, roleplay, clothed, threatening, hair pulling. Likes to hear how well he’s doing so like. Tell him it feel good. Also public sex. So much. HIGH sex drive if you tease him enough

Lonnie:

Love and threesomes. Very vanilla. a switch but he leans toward bottoming. LOVES being pegged, especially while he’s on his stomach. The heat and weight on his back makes him feel safe and comfortable. Low/medium sex drive

Jason:

Top. Like, power top when it’s casual. If it’s making love or for comfort he will bottom and probably cry a lil. His neck is extra sensitive. Give him a little bite, lick, or suck and he’s immediately ready. Also loves his ear being bitten. Dry humping. Tell him you love him during and he may go from power top to like. Gentle dom. Very weak for emotional reassurance. HIGH sex drive

Jonnie:

He and scarecrow have different kinks. Scarecrow is much more exploring, Jonathan prefers to keep it safe for the most part. Scarecrow’s kinks include costume sex, roleplay, somniphilia, breeding, praise, begging, light bondage. Jonathan’s are dry humping, praise, nipple play, begging, orgasm denial (for himself). Hypersexual due to trauma

■ -  Bedroom/house/living quarters headcanon

Bane:

Immaculate. He hires a cleaning service every once in a while. He likes a clear space because he doesn’t want to feel cluttered

Zsasz:

Also immaculate. Practically sterile. You’d think it’s staged. No he lives there

Lonnie:

He keeps forgetting his drinks everywhere and then getting more. He has taco bell wrappers in his bedroom. He never cleans out his car. He is a mess. Please help him.

Jason:

Like Lonnie, but less. It’s presentable but you can tell cleaning isn’t his #1 priority

Jonnie:

Jonathan cleans, Scarecrow makes a mess. This is how they function lmfao

♡ - romantic headcanon

Bane:

BIG romantic. Softy to his partner(s). Wants to buy them nice outfits and take them out on dates. Tries to keep the love young and happy.

Zsasz:

Not naturally romantic. For him, the romance is in the hands. Leading you places, kissing your hand, interlocking fingers, kissing fingertips. Wow that’s cute I’m gay

Lonnie:

Young love. He’s a bit misguided at times. Probably sensitive. BUT also a very soft lover, wants you to rest your head on his chest while you both lie on the couch. Tries really hard to make you laugh, it’s his favourite thing

Jason:

Handholding while driving, not needing to talk but he’ll say something goofy and stupid to make you smile and call him dumb. The kind of guy that texts you asking where you are and telling you how much he loves and misses you while drunk, while you’re in the same room as him clearly visible lmfao

Jonnie:

Old love, wants a life partner if he falls in love. He’s all in when he gets there, he doesn’t want to go life without and he almost never has romantic feelings. When he does he wants it to stay

♥ - family headcanon

Bane:

Doesn’t care, his family isn’t apart of his life so it’s not worth thinking about

Zsasz:

Hates his parents, but doesn’t kill them. He doesn’t think they’re worth it if he’s not getting paid

Lonnie:

Loves his mom even if she was cruel to him, but he ignores the letters she sends

Jason:

Love-hate with Batman. Will go to family dinners on holidays, but may make comments that he knows would make everyone argue while smiling at Bruce. It was on purpose

Jonnie:

Reconnects with his mom. Not completely, but he does feel bad for the incident and sees how he wasn’t showing self control at all. Sends her money and helps his half sister go into a good school. He talks to her more regularly than his mother, just checking in to see she has everything she needs

☮ - friendship headcanon

Bane:

Honestly, such a good friend. He will genuinely support you. He will join a social media just to give whatever project you’re working on a social boost. I mean, he’s BANE. He WILL help make your project amazing

Zsasz:

He’s distant but hilarious. You never fully know what’s going on with him, but that’s alright. You don’t think you want to just in case he goes on trial again

Lonnie:

“Have you heard of Karl Marx, the manifesto?”

Jason:

Dramatic friend, but he will side hug you and pat your back. Asks who pissed in your cereal that morning if you give him attitude

Jonnie:

Free therapy ! JK Halloween buds most like. He reaches out on Halloween and asks if you’d like to cause a ruckus with him

♦ - quirks/hobbies headcanon

Bane:

Weightlifting, tactician study (bombs, weapons)

Zsasz:

Gun range, knife throwing. I think he’d like doing an ax throwing competition.

Lonnie:

Tries to make other people see his ACAB point of view. He’s very successful c: Joins protests and leads riots where necessary. He is white so I see him taking the front in initiative. Rock climbing

Jason:

Gun maintenance, motorcycle rides through the outskirts of Gotham, cardio and gymnastics training

Jonnie:

Designing new scarecrow outfits, sewing, baking, reading in the morning outside 

☯ - likes/dislikes headcanon

Bane:

Spicy foods. I feel like he’d have a soft spot for elephants. Fave colour is green imo. Wants to pull a tree out of the ground in front of people all the time to freak them out, but respects the planet too much. Doesn’t like cold food all that much

Zsasz:

He unironically loves parody songs and ones that are like.............. silly covers. Fave colour is anything funky. He prefers take out.

Lonnie:

His fave colour is red, he likes more mild, savory foods, neon signs and the city at night when it’s quiet

Jason:

Bar hopping, lying in the grass after because he’s too drunk to keep walking. Staring at the stars. Oversharing. Fave colour is red.

Jonnie:

Sweets, carnivals, small plush dolls, nail polish. Fave colour is orange. Loves abandoned buildings

▼ - childhood headcanon

Bane:

Used to read the dictionary to be well-spoken. Sometimes he uses that to annoy people

Zsasz:

Had the tendency to light stuff on fire. Forced himself to learn to be okay looking into people’s eyes to avoid punishment

Lonnie:

Grew up poor and had bad shoes and a backpack full of holes. He’s very thankful for all that he has now

Jason:

Lil pickpocket even as a Robin

Jonnie:

Had comfort items and if he felt they may be taken away by his grandmother he would his them in the walls

∇ -. old age/aging headcanon

Bane:

Hates it because he knows he’s on the decline in strength. He also knows his body can’t handle venom anymore

Zsasz:

Graceful about it. Still killing for money let’s be real. Probably helps Anarky take out political figures to make him feel better

Lonnie:

Frustrated because there is much more to be done in the world to help others and he’s not as physically capable to fight

Jason:

Loves being a silver fox, he feels kinda sexy

Jonnie:

Afraid of the time now missing from his life, but accepting that this is life

♒ - cooking/food headcanon

Bane:

He likes to make traditional Mexican food. Specifically searching for recipes that are authentic

Zsasz:

He doesn’t usually cook, but when he does it’s cooked in wine and super healthy surprisingly

Lonnie:

Frozen foods lmfao

Jason:

Burger. Sanwhich. Ingredients............. beetroot

Jonnie:

THE cook of the polycule tbh. His cooking is amazing and he almost always gets it perfect. What a gift to us all

☼ - appearance headcanon

Bane:

Mostly cares about his hair, has a lot of product to keep it looking nice c: He’s very fuzzy, but if he has the time he will have his bodyhair waxed

Zsasz:

Dresses up because the clothes make the man and he wants to look classy af. Always wearing gloves.

Lonnie:

Hoodie man........... hides in baggy clothes, it’s just more comfortable that way.

Jason:

Military aesthetic with leather jackets and boots is his regular, but sometimes if he has no time it’s just a tank top and black jeans

Jonnie:

Only really cares about shaving and dressing nice. Scarecrow very specifically prefers having red hair so he will dye it as needed

ൠ - random headcanon

Bane:

Insanely good at puzzle games, do not hope to beat him at scrabble. Challenge at own risk

Zsasz:

Autistic, wears gloves because he doesn’t like skin contact unless it’s on his terms. Especially likes those half gloves that don’t cover your wrist

Lonnie:

Autistic transman ! Very aware of the flawed social structure due to experiences dealing with this

Jason:

He got a booty that won’t quit due to all of his cardio

Jonnie:

Takes painkillers sometimes for switch headaches, both Scarecrow and Jonathan get mad at eachother for it when it’s especially rough

[bonesandblood-sunandmoon]

Growth (& sharing a poem)

CoA prompt for Jan 2020 - “New” [Call for Submissions]. As of this post [Jan 9th], the Carnival of Aros WP hasn’t released its Call for Submissions link, so the link is to the direct post from @aro-neir-o.

The poem was not written by me, but @opaline-words (link and poem provided below the cut).

1) New things you have learned since discovering aromanticism (about yourself, about aromanticism, about other arospec people, about the queer community in general, etc.).

I’m not sure to what extent having to interact with family that involves re-closeting myself has created a temporary and/or artificial split in how I approach aspects of my identity. I don’t necessarily combine gender musings with aro musings, for example, and especially when it’s far more obvious in my daily life while closeted on the gender front, I just don’t prioritize finding out I’m under the aro umbrella in the same way that other aro bloggers seem to. Maybe it’s the fondness for sideblogs where they’ve made the choice to prioritize their aroness in that space, but I alternate feeling like a lurker and feeling like I’m intruding where I don’t belong. It’s not quite as dire or pessimistic as the phrase ‘rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic’ suggests, but I guess I’m at a stage where other things have to take a higher priority for now.

I’m not trying to get some sort of reassurance that I can include myself in the aro community with this. (I figure someone would’ve asked me to stop writing submissions for the Carnival of that were the case.) It’s more that I’ve realized that not every group or community is made up of 200% committed Ride Or Die people, even if said group is considered young and relatively smaller than more established groups. I’m under the aro umbrella, but as an example, I’m just not going to be at the forefront of aro community leadership or education efforts. I don’t have the time, energy, or in-person capabilities for certain types of community building like that, y’know?

2) New things you have learned since interacting with the aro community (about yourself, about aromanticism, about other arospec people, about the queer community in general, etc.).

It’s mildly annoying when I interact with an allo-allo person who assumes that something I’m doing platonically is romantic, but I have to work on stopping myself from reacting too quickly (out of a place of hurt) when aros do it. I’m afraid a somewhat public post about my perspective of greyro included that type of a knee-jerk reaction, but I’m hoping to do better in 2020.

3) New experiences you’ve had since learning about aromanticism and/or discovering your own aromanticism (e.g., new types of relationships, new types of feelings, new vocabulary that you found described you, new conversations you’ve had with others).

Confession: When I was first trying to figure out if I was somewhere under the aro umbrella at all, I came up with a term that I felt encompassed my specific experience. It kinda, sorta has overlap with a few other terms that I’ve seen a few times (definitely not often), but I’ve honestly never felt like sharing that term would actually accomplish anything in the aro community. It might lead to someone creating a flag or something, but I just don’t see it catching on or being helpful.

Other: I really like the idea of crafting a relationship through collaboration with my friends (not related to QPPs or waverships, but inspired by that level of intent to talk about where the friendship may be going), and I know at least a few of them have already figured out some of amatonormativity’s side effects. Occasionally, some aro vent posts come across like alloromantics are fine and peachy with amatonormativity, but from a personal level, a few of my friends are frustrated with the unevenness towards valuing friendship, too. It’s just that picking up on this doesn’t actually counteract amatonormativity or make any sort of relationship maintenance easier in the face of it. And as much as certain posts have gone around saying that the aro community digs in deeper and more in-depth into discussions about amatonormativity, relationship conventions, and whatnot, it’s not exactly easy trying to figure out how to talk about this with people outside of the aro community.

4) New aro or aro-coded content you have come across that you want to share or critique.

A poem titled “what does love feel like?” by @opaline-words [link to original tumblr post]. For those who don’t want to open a new tab or window, the poem is shared below.

what does love feel like?

is it the wit or the whimsy;

the pull or the repulsion;

the handle or the edge

of the knife?

you walk through the dog park

devoid of dogs,

or

you walk yourself to the car

in the rain,

and

you have no idea.

you can’t remember

or

you never knew.

One of the first things I told my friend, ~opaline-words, after this poem crossed my dash back in Oct 2019 was that it had aro vibes. From the first stanza: “what does love feel like?” (literally one of the first discussion points that questioning aro folks go through), “the pull or the repulsion” (romance repulsion or lack thereof), and “the handle or the edge | of the knife?” (the interplay of societal expectations around romantic love hurting aros versus feeling like you’re hurting and/or manipulating people).

From the second stanza: “the dog park | devoid of dogs”, which I think resonates with feeling the distinct lack of what’s expected, and for those struggling with feeling like a social failure, a feeling that gets into purposelessness. However, I would caution against a depressing interpretation of uselessness in “you walk through the dog park” because a dog park isn’t necessarily restricted from humans walking through it. I can see a certain kind of repurposing or twisting of conventions that reads more like the greyro or otherwise spectrum/umbrella portion of the aro community.

From the third stanza: “you can’t remember | or | you never knew”, which makes a certain part of inner-me go chef’s kiss. I personally resonate with feeling like I’ve ‘lost’ my ability to detect romantic attraction, and while I could write down memories of crushes in November’s CoA post (an extent of literal memory remains), I do feel like a certain part of me can’t remember how to decipher romantic attraction. I can’t say that it’s a universal aro experience, but I figure it may also resonate with others. I can more clearly see the aro feels for the ending thought “you never knew” and the last line of the second stanza “you have no idea”, particularly for the aromantics who haven’t experienced romantic attraction (handle/end-case).

I don’t want to say that this is the only reading of ~opaline-word’s poem that anyone can have, but I had to get the initial impressions out of my system, and I wanted to have some context for why I’m reblogging this poem in the latter half of February and including an aro tag on it.