#kinda cringe but im bringing it up anyway

[mercyluvsyouuu]

Anytime I fight Gabriel in either act 1 or act 2, it doesn't even feel like a fight.. it just feels like I'm dancing with him. Like I can't explain myself?? The intensity that was intended to be there is definitely there, but there's also a certain.. beauty to the fights. It's so fluid, so smooth, like it's meant to happen. Idk, am I weird, or do other ppl notice this??

[trashydez]

Phoenix and Franziska as siblings is an interesting dynamic I need to seeeee

GOD you do not know how much i think of these two as siblings, thank you for being my excuse to talk about them!!

i think if phoenix were frans brother instead of edgeworth, he’d be alot more doting of her- look at how he is with his daughter, afterall. he moves into the von karma household when hes like 9 and she’s 2 years old. she was a Baby. a Baby who can talk in full sentences for some reason, but a baby nonetheless.

and he is So doting and caring, raising her in contrast to how von karma was raising her. we see that despite how franziska von karma she is even as a child in the anime, she is sweet and worried about miles’ wellbeing, so ive no doubt itd extend to phoenix if he and miles swapped places.

except, obviously mvk has some issues with whimsy and joy because, well he’s von karma. so he likely doesnt approve and actively berates phoenix for caring for fran, saying its weakness and she’ll grow up to be useless and a dishonour blabla. it gets fran in trouble too though, so i think as time goes on phoenix would start to act less openly affectionate and more cold, but still caring, despite showing it in his own,, convoluted way. as time goes on too, i think the constant beratement from mvk, the pressure of the von karma name and other things i cant say here lest it be spoilers to my own au starts to wear at phoenix’s wellbeing, and it takes a toll on his relationship with franziska as fran tries in all her eight year old might to bring back the boy who’d always smile at her.

anyway i think unlike how miles and fran are like a prince and princess and mvk is the king, i think phoenix and fran would have a princess and her first knight kind of relationship, to put their dynamic simply

[francy-sketches]

why do twitter users think its an #epic own to be like 'um ur 16 go back to school child 😎' bro why are you beefing with a child then? you're letting an infant ratio you? that's pretty cringe

[narwhalandchill]

(tw MoC 12 metachurl vent 💀 im Struggling)

discovering thru multiple showcases on YT that yanqing hypercarry w RM tingyun aventurine might in fact be just. Straight up better in terms of clear speed and/or consistency than jingliu for this MoC 12 second half and especially the turbulence this time around has me like. Side-eyeing my very recent lvl 20 E1 dude (got him from standard pity like a week ago and then aven 50-50 loss now) like . Perhaps ive judged you too harshly ...... jkjk

Unless? 🤔

i knowwww i could prolly just reset for enough tries to clear w either jingliu or some other setup (i do in fact have 2 clears that just Barely slipped into the 19th cycle by the end) but also its kinda just painful 😭 this MoC feels so bad without acheron or someone like argenti or even SW its unreal

like the amount of setups that just. Havent worked out for me At All is wild to me. first i had to largely give up on the idea of fx on 2nd half period bc the wombo combo of the ascended lady slapping ur entire team like a marastruck car saleswoman bc this bad boy can fit so many wind shears in it so ur taking all that chip dmg before u even make it to aventurine who will gleefully beat ur ass before i manage to clear is just. Not good. especially when jinglius already draining the teams hp 💀

luckily aventurine seems a better bet for 2nd half (50% eff res might not be foolproof against CC but it actually blocks the wind shears p nicely) but theres a Big issue w trying to bring him in a jingliu team called "area woman takes 3 consecutive turns in a slow bronya setop on first cycle and expires own shield, is fully exposed to dmg for the enemys first actions" like. if she gets heavy targeted during that window its just so bad . the hp drain would already be a challenge but combined w that its just Not Good. Aventurines very strong for 2nd half outside of that tho (and v good at proccing the turbulence on either half obvi). Especially in teams of keel using supports bc u can lose a gambit and still have all ur 80-90 eff res shielded supports resist boss aventurines CC

in general the bosses are just way too fucking tanky meaning u Need to take advantage of the turbulence (attack 6 times before each cycle ends) for the dmg it deals but thats a Problem w my usual lineups and built units (lots of hypercarry teams and supports like RM sparkle TY that use ally targeting abilities so cant proc the turbulence stack consistently)

i think in terms of the 1st half i prolly have some more options left to explore to try to push a faster clear so theres more cycles left for 2nd but i shit you not the team thats worked the best so far has been. QQ. All these 5* carries and i had to fucking bring out QQ after so long to see results 💀💀💀 to be fair its a sparkle team so like. unsurprising that QQ shreds but its still finicky. in general the fastest clears have been between xueyi n QQ in more or less the same setups

2nd half is. An issue tho. im not gonna be cringe and say jingliu is like bad or unplayable there and cant clear bc she definitely can like shes e0s1 ffs and even my best attempts cut it very close and if i had a faster 1st half it wouldve cleared within 20 cycles. But what i will say is that she Does Not Feel Good there . obviously part of it is just my own fault bc i never rly committed to minmaxing her build the way ive done for most carries since shes so strong at baseline anyway. and thats showing in her clear time even with good supports. and then by not clearing aventurine fast enough even in hyper jingliu teams u get stuck w his gamba phase and then the supports not having a way to deal w the gambit becomes an issue and its just all cringe from there

also i just find the aventurine boss mechanics (and to an extent the meme dino too) very infuriatingly anti synergistic with the turbulence bc. if you proc the turbulence during his gambit on the dice its literally just fuck you all dmg gone like it doesnt even get you an extra roll . the dino at least isnt invulnerable at any point and its gimmick is more straightforward but it also takes v little dmg from the turbulence proc if not broken

another thing w jingliu is also abt the dice phases. like she also has such anti synergy w the gambit bc losing that uptime in her enhanced state just to roll the gambit (even if she usually wins) Isnt Nice bc thats dmg she could (and should) be doing to the boss instead 😭 like my jinglius somewhat unpolished build aside the base mechanics of the aventurine boss just arent a good match w her kit and teams imo. (cue the cursed yanqing consideration)

obviously jingliu isnt the only option for 2nd half like i did fiddle around w my decent ish e0s2 (s2... ThoseWhoKnow💀) clara build a bit and a team w her IS very very good at proccing the turbulence and synergistic with aventurine but at least in those attempts she was just lacking too much dmg when she wasnt getting counters and that delayed clearing the first 2 bosses in particular . I also did a shockingly close cut 19 cycles clear w a xueyi off element team of all things on 2nd half and QQ hyper on the other

but mannn. obviously i could just leave it be like its fine . u dont need to always 36* and this MoC is very clearly favoring units like acheron whomst i dont have and debuffer heavy teams like invested ratio SW whatevers. but a part of me just Rly wants to figure it out and work out a solution to it all

and the idea of that solution possibly involving building my yanqing since despite his shortcomings hes just unironically better in the kind of true ST content like the aventurine boss compared to jingliu now that a non gepard actually usable shielder exists. i mean. its just kinda funny .

Is it a good idea in terms of long term resource investment on an account? Dubious. Is it absolutely hilarious to possibly bench a jingliu for yanqing of all people just bc fuck this MoC in particular? Kinda yeah. For sure

...guess ill keep u guys updated 🤔

anyway TLDR this MoC is kinda agony im considering unwise building decisions just to get a funny clear out of it as opposed to being boring and just resetting until i manage a good clear since ive already gotten so close w my existing teams

[conflictedkismet]

love reblogging Ester's more emotional posts. Surprise! You get an hour or so worth of this poor puppet struggling with themselves

[ultimateplaylistmaker]

Rate all the popular dangitronpa ships out of 10

Komahina; really fun but also kinda overshadows other fun ships, along with the issue of characterization being a bit flanderized, but very fun in basically all forms 8/10

Oumasai; interesting fact the reason i call it oumasai instead of saiouma is because 1. Kokichi tops and I refuse to budge on this. and 2. to help keep it out of the much more popular tag when I'm complaining. Anyways 90% of it's terrible but that 10% can be pretty damn good though, please become less popular, constant bad characterization 3/10

Ishimondo; classic, maybe too much of a classic, way too hard to find other ships with these two, however ishimaru did in fact get mondo on his knees in that sauna so i can't exactly say they are wrong, alas i got into danganronpa at like 13-14 and i was too young to really appreciate this ship and has kinda made it not something i ever really reach for 7/10

Naegiri; also a classic, I love them, they are so cute, they love each other so much and the memes are great, genuinely amazing, plenty of room for fluff angst and crack. Adorable but also not something I tend to overly reach for over other ships however am more likely to casually see it and go "HELL YEAH" and read a 40k fic, 8/10

Kaimaki; long time fans know I am not the biggest Maki fan, she's grown on me over the year, but the more canon a ship gets the harder it is for it to keep my interest without some other detail, and Kaimaki, does not have that other detail, I don't mind reading it if it catches my fancy, though I think I prefer it unrequited on Kaito's end, is 'aight 6/10

Saimatsu; similar problem as kaimaki of thhe more canon the ship the harder to keep my attention HOWEVER saimatsu is also a fucking comedy because they both kinda bring out the unhinged in the other and also the angst does make me really sad, so its good even if its not what im reaching for. 8/10

Naegami; 14 year old me was fucking obsessed with this ship, I have since calmed down. Thank god. Honestly overexposure made it a bit stale to me I think, like it's FUN don't get me wrong, I love Togami being a fucking freak about this little peasant little guy, but it's a bit generic "soft with mean" shipping I feel, very much "baby's first rivalry ship" for me 6/10

Oumota; oh that's the good shit, that's the good shit, the angst, the drama, the competitiveness, the assisted suicide, the secrets taken to the grave, the totally for real kiss in the hangar, the, pun intended, amalgamation of them in the final trial. The fact their love hotels line up, the fact they balance each other out. The hilarity of Maki and Shuichi's faces if they found out these two are dating, Ohhh my god, ooooh my god 10/10

Fuyupeko; another classic that falls under "the more canon it is, the harder it is for me to get into it" also Peko just...isn't super interesting to me, like don't get me wrong she's still great, but she's definitely a character I don't think of as often. I love the art for it though, fanartist go HARD and i love it, it's just overall missing that friction or interesting twist I want with my ships, tends to lean too domestic. 6/10

Kamukoma; pretty fun! I kinda grew a bit out of this one as well but sometimes you want komaeda being the absolute fucking dramatic worst with his cringe loser emotionless emo boyfriend, and that's a lot of fun. Good for angst, especially more cracky angst at times. Very funny when Hajime after the fact is like "HEY W HAT" 7/10

[static-symphony-fm]

Is this thing on? 📞

Totally love playing into people’s themes for their little ask bit it’s a hobby of mine 🤭🤭 idc if it’s cringe it’s a fun time but hiyaaaaa babes I had an idea for Jason for my own writing but I cannot physically bring myself to write it so I thought I’d pass it on to someone who might want to do it and do it justice (only if you want absolutely no pressure) 🫶🫶

Like a child of Ares who when they get really angry (the whole genetic anger issues shit he just randomly gave to his kids?? What’s up with that anyway) they get really angry and they just kinda gravitate towards Jason, they just know where he is, it’s like a sixth sense, a spider sense, a sparky sense if you will (do not encourage me) but he just knows how to calm them down? Just holds their hand or something like that and grounds them?

I dunno how to explain but that’s all! Hope you have/had a great day (I don’t even know roughly what time zone you’re in 😭) and please don’t feel rushed or pressured to do this 🫶

this took so long for 354 words im so sorry also i hate the ending

 we're dancing in this world alone

you had been sword fighting with some cocky kid from the hermes cabin, and he’d managed to both disarm you and steal your camp necklace within the span of five seconds. the way he’d dangled the beads from his nimble fingers above you as you got up, combined with that goddamn smirk… red-hot embarrassment had flared in your cheeks. you did not like to be humiliated. 

“give it.” you’d snapped, reaching out to grab your necklace back. but he’d only smiled wider, holding it above your reach. 

“not until you admit that just because your daddy’s big and strong doesn’t mean you’re a good fighter.” he says mockingly, and gods, you wanted to kill him. anger bubbled up in you like a pot on the stove about to boil over, and you turned and stomped off as he laughed at you. how dare he embarrass you? you wanted to strangle him.

where were you going? you didn’t know, but you were marching through the woods like you were trying to get somewhere more specific than just “away”.

 it wasn't clear to you where your destination was until your eyes followed the stark white marble columns up to the carved eagle motif of cabin one, distant thunder rumbling in the distance like you were being judged for even standing in front of it.  of course. jason. he was who you needed right now.  

the guy in question pushes the door open and sees you standing there. his brow furrowed under the frames of his glasses. “are you alright?” 

“no. just… come here.” 

he tentatively takes a couple of steps toward you, reaching out his hand like he would to a scared animal.  you grab his hand with both of yours, and you swear you can feel the anger dissipating, like clouds parting. it’s slow, but effective. after a couple of seconds where neither of you speak, he breaks the silence.

“what happened?”

you explained the whole situation, having to take pauses in between to curse out the kid under your breath while jason listens attentively. 

“i’m just glad i’m not the one you're mad at.”

[sillyghostwordvomit]

BatFamily and a splatoon inspired reader (platonic)

(deeply sighs) I may have brain rot aka getting fixated in older interests

disclaimer: the only recent batman media I have consumed is the webcomic one, and it's been quite some time since I have seen any of the animated media :3 I also dont wrote too much but thought this was silly

ANYWAYS !!!1 Batfam with an inkling reader, that's right, an inkling, like from the hit game series Splatoon

-- btw most likely ooc, not a fully fleshed out fic, mainly HCs/ a scenario,

(platonic and gender neutral )

It was any other day and you were exploring some wasteland in hopes to try out some new tricks before going back to turf war, but what you had stumbled across some old technology

curiosity had gotten the better of you, you began to fiddle with the old tech, but suddenly it started to boot up???

meanwhile in Gotham they were fighting a villain who had some crazy experimental technology and as they apprehended the villain... the tech also began to glow !!!

BAM!!!! or something

A humanoid creature appeared from the other side....

as you stand up and wipe the dust off of your shirt you look around and see a some odd stuff.... and people... why were they dressed as ancient animals that no longer exist, and why were they so much taller than usual ???

Damian was apprehensive as he had seen the "weapon" on you

however batman stopped him seeing as you looked like a child, although odd

Batman began to question you but when you had answered there was a language barrier

As the few members of the bat family that were there (batman, robin, Nightwing, and oracle talking to them) they were trying to figure out what to do, the technology kinda went to shit but it'll take some time to look at for sure

as they talked you began to look around, then that evolved into wandering around

seeing a larger city and a new city, you had went out and explored ! eventually you found some alley ways and began doing some parkour and whatever cool trick you could do off of the environment

However on batman's end they must find you, a strange critter, maybe alien who doesnt speak a human language is out wondering Gotham city at night!!!

Oracle calls in a few more to help fan out as it seems you got far in surprisingly a short amount of time ????

(perhaps an ink brush main????)

after not too long Nightwing had found you and took note of your cool skills, like damn, lil critter has some tricks !!!!!

He found you and you deemed him trustworthy to follow

they bring you back to the bat cave and truly take in how aquatic you look, the eyes, teeth and hair? tentacles????

after some more time they found that in a quick amount of time you were able to pick up a few sign language phrases

also batman the great detective he is gave you some pen and paper to draw out what happened

it was, something that's for sure!!

however you also conveniently had a small amount of photos on you to show where you were from

as Batman had looked through the photos he saw more humanoid aquatic creatures but you didn't live under the sea, he then saw the ink which was also odd

soon he had began to notice the odd things in your wastelands

IS THAT THE EFFIAL TOWER ??????

huh

you had brought up more mysteries

anyways here's a few silly other ideas in my head

I think rightwing would show you cool acrobatic tricks to polish whatever skills you have

since im thinking of a squid kid I think you be a little cringe fail, like trying to imitate their hero poses or something lol

They would be interested in seeing what you can do as youre a squid that can't go into the water

surprised at how chill you were with things happening but they saw how you missed your pals from back home, and turf

Plays card games with you/teaches them !!! A fun pass time

communication would happen through cards, sign language and eventually they would pick up on the phrases you say in squid language

idk just silly thing s

I can't tell if this is wack but wanted to share this before it left my mind, maybe in the future I will expand on it

[cosmic-nopedog]

Could you possibly share more of your kirakira swap au... it is very inch resting to me!! (also- cute art :D)

THANK YOU, I AM GOING INSANE WITH NO ONE OTHER THAN MY BROTHER TO TALK ABT THIS OH MY GOOOOODDDDDDDD

ok ok so, its a very simple swap au as i've said and im gonna be shooo honest with youo, its ciel x ichika, i like the ship i think they are cute together SO ITS GOING TO HAPPEN, BUT ANYWAYS THIS IS GOING TO BE KINDA LONG

In this au, ichika is a fairy from strawberry mountain, and goes off to paris to learn about sweet making like ciel in the og, however unlike ciel, she goes alone and does learn from jean pierre and gets shot into the lime light, but the thing is that she kinda feels like somethings missing.

yeah she makes a lot of kiraru with her technique alone and her passion for sweets making but it feels a lil.. empty, she is a very lonely girl and at the beginning very clumsy [its still ichika cmon dsfjn vg] so she kinda also has this like BIG imposter syndrome thing going on, she masks it well enough for PR and what not but shes kinda worried that this all is just a big stroke of luck and some day shes going to inevitably fail.

I will say i do have kind of a storyline in mind so bear with me dfkjbnjkdf.

Anyways, she goes on her life in paris as Uzuki Ichika: Prodigy Patissiere [am still making the au so bear with me for there will be changes here n there] and nothing more, UNTIL, she runs into Usami Satomi [aka Ichika's mom in the og storyline] and they talk, and she learns that Satomi is a doctor and lives in strawberry mountain and all that stuff and shes in paris temporarily as part of her job, and i want them SOMEHOW i've yet to really think about all the details to develop a sorta soft ish guardian&kid relationship like, thats not ur kid but might as well be type thing.

ANYWAYS, after enough time [yet to be determined] i feel like ichika starts confiding in Satomi alot of the feelings she has going on and Satomi brings up the idea of taking a break and going back to like her home town, and Ichika does agree and all [BUT I WANT SOME REALISM HERE RIGHT not too much tho we still have fun,] but does bring up the fact that she probably wont have a place to stay if she does so [excuses cus she could very much so stay with the fairies] and CORRECT ME IF IM WRONG but a long time ago i did read something about how if you know like, a family in a country well enough they can like take u in for some time? like Adopt you so tospeak AGAIN I MIGHTVE HALLUCINATED THIS but if not yeah, THATS what happens.

So shes staying with the Usami's! yay! well just the dad cus Satomi does have to travel cus of her job n what not, and goes back to strawberry mountain to hopefully clear her head and maybe remember why she did all of this in the first place.

THATS THAT ON ICHIKA, which im going to be sho honest with you, shes the one i've like thought abt the most, mainly cus i like making the pink cures depressed kdsnbjkfdb BUT ALSO because shes in SUCH a situation and i find that inchresting.

I WILL ALSO SAY, im not swapping everyone, just ciel n ichika, mainly cus i find making ichika a fairy and ciel a cringe fail amateur patissiere very fun and inchresting BUT I DIGRESS.

NOW, AS FOR CIEL, shes a normal girl that has just moved into strawberry mountain, ysee, she is originally from strawberry mountain but moved out at some point in her life and decided to sort of move back in to take care of her grandmother who still recides in there, Rio also came along with her cus I LOVE MY SIBLING DYNAMICS OK.

SPEAKING OF, the way i see their dynamic is that they are very close and yes they stil have their shared interest in sweets and what not but ciel is more of a What happens if I double the amount of batter type interest and Rio is more of a Watches 3 bilion youtube videos on alot of recepies that he sometimes asks ciel if they can try out. Which ofcousre has a very diverse rate of success kdjfhbjbk.

They have the Passion and all the Feelings into it but Not alot of technical skill, I do think they meet Pekorin the same way Ichika met Pekorin in the og story, AND I DO WANT TO MAKE RIO A CURE, HE WILL BE A CURE I WILL MAKE THIS HAPPEN.

OH speaking of, i did kinda change Ichikas and Ciel's cure names, Ichika is now Cure Meringue and Ciel is now Cure Velvet.

AND THATS PRETTY MUCH WHAT I HAVE LIEK SOLIDIFIED AS OF RN!!!

I do have some liek spare thoughts here and there like, Ichika and Pekorin Have a sybling dynamic slash are actual sisters and at somepoint i want ichika to get stained in shadow maybe same with Rio but i have yet to figure out a cohesive storyline for that, BUT I WILL FIGURE IT OUTTTTT!!!

Also do NOT spoil me shit, I have NOT finished Kirakira Precure as of rn, IM CLOSE BUT NOT THERE YET.

LAST THING: i will call this AU very simply Strawberry Meringue Au

That is all.

[letalis-psyche]

literally just saw one piece of your art and it is like to die for???? Idk but ur style is just captivating like it has such a personality and pop to it! Anyway ur Courier is really cool do you have any specific HC for her?

omg thank uuu this is so sweet

as for ophelia head cannons, theres so much lore im piecing together for her! Its under the cut :3

I still haven't decided what her past is fully like but for sure she's a courier because she's running from something, she'd always be on the move and fading away, so the in game events kinda force her to grapple with the attention it brings. She has stats in med and lockpicking due to her upbringing but will never elaborate </3

She's def impulsive and mostly doesn't think everything she does through, very much act first ask questions later, but she can understand when someone needs their quiet and space.

As for her relationships with in game characters, I personally headcannon her as actually having a relationship with boone, i think its not entirely impulsive and more deeply understanding eachother. She doesn't pry into his past at first and appreciates he doesn't either (i could prob theorise about it for ages but this would make this a very long post and very cringe)

With Benny its purely sexual, hes funny and she gets fixated on him, for obvious reasons. He's not her bf by any means and if anything she thinks the relationship was purely a hook-up for insane closure. In my hc benny does not and it doesn't help she slaughters a legion camp for him <3 he left the situation asking what her ring size is fs.

I can go one about other companions but I dont wanna info dump

[crystallizsch]

hi ian i come bearing angst fuel for the yuusha as twsted elsa (maybe an idea for her possible overblot idk she kinda reads to me as someone whod preemptively isolate in the case she feels...blotty)

(also seeing that art of her playing violin totally didnt fuck me up im still nursing my bruised heart 🥴🥴💕💕)

https://youtu.be/NDldNaEZTt8?si=Wm71pgTltuJLjFvk

^^this is from the frozen musical where they gave a song to elsa to explore her emotional turmoil and it just fleshed out her character so much more than the orig movie (ok i havent seen frozen 2 oops) but just this section here:

Is everyone in danger as long as I'm alive?

Was I a monster from the start?

How did I end up with this frozen heart?

Bringing destruction to the stage

Caught in a war that I was never meant to wage

anyways lmao i jus think the song is neat i think yuushas neat (i wanna see more of her ahehehe i love seeing infodumps abt ur yuus)

-diodellet

(throwback to this “what if yuu had magic” ask where i had a ✨realization✨ and this more recent yuusha lore drop that i gave zero elaboration on 🙃)

very rough ob yuu design??? idk i came up with it on the spot ;;; and it’s kinda based on disney’s concept art of elsa when she was supposed to be the villain.

evil ice queen vibes :3

also i know the ob monster is supposed to be based on the villain— which is elsa in this case— but lowkey. an ice monster is way cooler.

also also i just realized after i drew this i couldve done a grim/yuu tandem overblot ough 🤧🤧 (next time I'll do that instead if i ever go back to this concept)

(read more below because it got SO long)

AAH anyways hi hi dio!!! when i saw your ask i went —

— with this entire post

AAGH HOW MANY MORE UNINTENTIONAL CONNECTIONS ARE GOING TO BE BETWEEN FROZEN AND YUUSHA

i guess watching the movie everyday when it came out when you’re like 9 does something to your brain chemistry (and still haunts you at least a decade later) 💀

but anyways the angst ;;; overblot yuu ;;;;; my brain is rotting and the worms have taken over

also i didn’t even know that there was a frozen broadway musical so im gonna have to check it out later 🏃💨💨💨

(also dont worry frozen 2 is a nice watch for the most part but the way they concluded the characters did not feel 100% satisfying to me 😭 BUT i love some of the songs tho ;;; kristoff’s goofy 80s ballad song is one of them specifically, i need everyone to listen to it)

hfgnnfhfgv anyways thank you so much i’m chugging that angst fuel as i expand more on a possible ob yuusha with another infodump 💪💪💪

⚠️⚠️⚠️ ALSO IM SORRY BUT mentions of taking one’s own life so please proceed with caution ⚠️⚠️⚠️

i had to reread what my initial thoughts about it bc it was months ago??? and after rereading im just like, huh what was i on— (just that feeling when you just cringe at your old posts ;; but idk i think the insanity/cringe sometimes can loop back into being a genius and the cycle just continues)

anyways i’ve been on and off writing yuusha’s bio and overblot yuu was just at the back of my mind chilling but i didn’t really do anything with it.

but now that i have the opportunity,,,, im gonna go on the magicless route this time bc i feel like I've said all what i thought if it was an overblot due to her own magic.

so uh from what i gather overblots are a mix of overuse of magic + intense negative emotion.

since it’s magicless yuu, i guess the one of the general headcanons around the fandom is that they’ve been too exposed to overblots and then intense negative emotions suddenly just triggered their overblot.

uh anyways onto the elsa parts

Is everyone in danger as long as I'm alive? Was I a monster from the start? How did I end up with this frozen heart? Bringing destruction to the stage Caught in a war that I was never meant to wage

THE LYRICS ARE SO GOOD ;;; i really love how some broadway interpretations expand on the source material

and yeah you're right 🤧🤧🤧— yuusha would try to hide and escape, especially as she overblots bc she would try to avoid hurting people (and like elsa, it'd only hurt others more trying to escape bc of probably how she leaves destruction in her wake trying to make others stay away from her 😔)

(this is a small tangent but i remember thinking about an overblot kalim and i imagine him to be similar, like he would not hurt anyone intentionally in his overblot.)

anyways so the way it would go is that i imagine her friends got fatally injured either because a) she feels that she’s too “useless” without magic to help and wasn’t able to do anything OR b) her attempts at helping to try and prove that she can help without magic made everything worse.

and then she just goes into a guilty spiral then boom — overblot.

ALSO in the song, the way elsa briefly contemplated taking her own life but then realizing there’s no guarantee that would solve anything hnghgh (<- another unintentional parallel to my yuusha lore because that’s actually how she ended up in twst except she did NOT have the latter realization)

there’s this “yuu is dead” theory i’m just using and that the black carriage actually just caught yuusha’s soul after she took her own life from all the burden.

also some bonus angst context for that violin post :3

yuusha back in her homeworld is raised and known to be a gifted musician. people can feel the life and soul in her music but when people interact with her, they are usually met with an ice-cold (heh) personality.

the dead family member was the one who taught her music and the only one who was kind to her.

there’s always an expectation from her family to perform well and to keep up appearances as to not be a humiliation since anything she does can reflect on her entire family. (also hi, slight yuusha/jamil parallels maybe???)

the way she presents herself also stemmed from an incident as a child when she went apeshit on another kid bc she was defending a friend.

so from then on she was taught taught to conceal don’t feel those emotions — which just unfortunately extended to any positive ones, not just negative ones like rage.

so when she is brought to twst, there’s no memory of her being forced to hold back her emotions so she’s just unapologetically affectionate and open with everyone bc that’s how she really is.

but every now and then, memories of her breaking down haunt her in her dreams or as subtle reminders in the waking world.

then yuusha just goes on her day like she just wasn't reminded of her past.

(unnecessarily tragic lore my beloved, but anyway—)

another extremely brief tangent and bonus -> the two songs i had on loop while drawing pre-twst yuusha

lindsey stirling my beloved i love her music

the songs are such a vibe

her instrumentals in “lose you now” especially makes me feel some sort of way 😖

[0vergrowngraveyard]

this is a bit more on the personal side…kinda? it’s just me discussing my struggles with autism but i’m still gonna put it under a cut just in case people aren’t interested lol

please feel free to keep scrolling, i just needed to put this somewhere

rejoining the sth fandom has made me realize something:

it is very painful to not be able to stim when i’m excited or happy. like, physically painful

i grew up with a lot of internalized ableism so i kinda sorta forced myself to not stim when im happy or excited because i thought it was “cringe” and “stupid”. part of me cemented it deep into my subconscious so now i just can’t bring myself to stim at all, the most i can do is let out a tiny squeak but those are usually accidental…also pace around my room like a crackhead walking a marathon

it genuinely feels like i’m going to pop. there were times while watching prime that i had to pause because my chest felt too tight due to the excitement building up

it sucks. thanks cringe culture for making me be unable to stim due to not wanting to be seen as “cringe” 👍

anyway it also made me realize that this fandom feel more like home than any other fandom i’ve been in so yea love you guys 🫶

[sparklezzzzzzsstuff]

🏛️CREEPYPASTAS AS GREEK MYTHOLOGY FIGURES💯

I’m not actually sure if someone has done this before but I was js having a brainrot and got this idea tbh, should this have stayed in the drafts? maybe💀, but I really wanna hear others thoughts and opinions on it cause AGHH. I eat up AU content so I thought I’d try making my own even if it’s flops. Most of this is up for interpretation cause I had WAYYY too many ideas/alternates for these.

Okay here we go yap time

(No no you can’t tell who’s my favorite….)

No warnings!!

Ben-HERMES 🪽

For Ben I was really thinking of someone leaning more on the playful/mischievous side cause i feel that’s a huge part of most people’s headcanons for him (including mine).

I thought who better than Hermes cause if ur a fan of EPIC (Circe saga specifically 🤓☝️) I felt that Jorge Rivera really protrayed Hermes with a playful/childish demeanor and even if was helping Odysseus he was like “yeah ur probs gonna die anyway bud” and it kinda resonates with Ben cause he’s just in it for shits n giggles tbh.

Being the god of messages I feel like Ben would have a lot of fun spreading misinformation around the mansion (or wherever if the mansions not ur thing 😔).

Also in a way I feel like it’s the same thing with his powers and tech savvy skills. I remember seeing a few people on here hc his job was security cams and stuff so he knows the shit you’re up to😰

Yk wether it’s sending emails under rando accounts or discord messages about his latest obsession he’s not afraid to SEND👏THAT👏MESSAGE👏

In general I feel like one could argue he’s unfiltered tbh

ALSO ALSO flying shoes = floating ghost 🤔

I feel Ben could definitely be capable of showing empathy/giving help to heroes in need and stuff but overall he’d just prefer to get into mischief and do things for his own benefit.

He brings a lot to the table! (that is if you can clear off the Pokémon cards and Zelda figurines)

For example, if there was a mansion in this au (the world they live in is up for interpretation cause I love the idea of Ancient Greece but I’m loyal to the cringe mansion I love dearly 😔)

Teleportation comes in handy for when slender decided to give out hand-written letters that come with Cheeto dust fingerprints(Ben swears they were there before) (they were guys dw bout it…)

Something else I’ve seen on here is that he’d float to make himself taller and i will take this to the grave idc if i die on this hill.

SUPPOSE they had outfits and he had to be pried off the hot topic isles and link getup. I genuinely do not think he’d fw the sandals im sorry 😔. He’d slap something else on and call it a day. Or maybe not tbh..he’d think they’re cool.

I feel like outside of this AU he’s a bit of a chatterbox so..IN this AU he’d probably use deliveries as a way to talk the ear off and bother hang with his friends and fellow Creepypastas.

Anyways, in summary Ben can impish and irresponsible but he’s a master of his craft and if there does end up being heroes to guide he wouldn’t hesitate to…interfere.

“You want to beat her? You’ll need the blessing of a certain god, divine intervention, someone who’s not afraid to..send a message”

Nina-CALYPSO🐚

Nina my beloved scene girl this one’s for you

First order of business shout out to @jeffthekillerzblog and his au about Ben, Jeff and Nina’s arcs I love them sm. The whole idea of her getting over Jeff and sort of becoming her own person without him is awesome and I can definitely see it in my au too.♥️♥️

I chose Calyspo because when met with Odysseus she was instantly head over heels, turning into a kind of obsession and yearning for company😔👏(yeah same)

I think Calypso’s whole idea of “I love you and I think I’ll die without it” resonates with what Nina used to be with Jeff and her need for his affection.

Although I don’t really think Nina would necessarily keep a partner as a hostage on an island I think she tends to feed into that kind of delusion of a healthy relationship when desperate for attention

In terms of style and aesthetics Calypso and Nina are pretty much opposite (Nina scene style I am loyal to you) however in this au I’d think she’d wear a lot of pink layered robes and fun jewelry. I like to keep style up for interpretation just cause it’s fun.

Ultimately Calypso does do the right thing and lets Odysseus go,(with pushing from Ben Hermes) I do think at heart Nina knows it isn’t right but she still longs for love.

It gets lonely on an island okay?🤨

“Tell me though, who’s Penelope?”

“She’s my wife…”

“…”

“Anyways! I’ve got all you could want here, all you could need here..just you and me my dear, my love for life!”

EJ-HADES🪦🥀

ALRIGHT. Here’s the thing, at first I wanted to choose Slenderman for this because it just felt right. However I wanted to choose Ej instead because I took into account the storyline with Persephone. (Also with Jeff and smile dogs friendship I was thinking him too cause smile dog could be his Cerberus ugh😔)

From my interpretation of others HCS and mine I definitely see Ej as a lone wolf so what better place to be dark and ominous than the underworld itself?

Dramatically staring out into a sea of souls while Chappell Roan , Radiohead plays in the background/j

I do think Ej would enjoy the isolation and in my hc he’d rather hide away from the others because of his demonic nature, and nobody there to pester him (besides Ben with his emails of course).

Anyway, going back onto the Persephone storyline because it was a dealbreaker between Slender and Ej.

I thought about which one would really want to seek love. In past HCS of slender I’ve seen that he is in fact capable of caring (if ur a fan of the mansion and believing he collects traumatized children like Pokémon or infinity stones) .

So, let’s say Slender is actually capable of caring, would he really wanna go seek love? I kinda see him as a single dad but I’ve debated it tbh. For now I’m just going with single dad who’s not interested in romance but rather power.

So that left me with Ej, I think Ej still has some human in him. Whatever was left behind after his transformation/sacrifice made him yearn for company even being ruler of death. (He’s got Cerberus aka smile dog 🤷‍♀️maybe a couple skeletons idk)

Anywho if he did happen to stumble upon Persephone, rather than kidnapping her pissing her mom off I think he’d be too scared to approach her 😭

In the sense that he wouldn’t want to scare her with his appearance even with the mask.

Maybe his Persephone is a kidney? Who knows 😔

“If I became the monster and threw that guilt away would that make us stronger?”

JANE-ATHENA🦉📖

I’ve been waiting for this I’m about to go crazy

Athena, warrior and goddess of wisdom, not to mention hella creative.

I feel like this matches with Jane’s sense of responsibility and maturity. In my hc Jane is a STROOOONG WOMAN😍😍🤤. I also saw someone on here saw she does poetry and I couldn’t agree more

Athena,who has no husband—oh look at that Jane doesn’t either she’s happily married to Mary(idc if Athena doesn’t marry. THIS one did.)

Aura if I’ve ever seen it

COOL WEAPONS COOL WEAPONS and armor tbh. Feminine robes and the usual Athena getup.

If you’ve listened to God Games then I don’t need to speak any further on how driven she is too succeed, “bring it” attitude.

I think it’s nice how Athena and Ares rivalry can be intertwined with Jane and Jeff’s backstory, despite Jane having coming to terms with it she still has sought vengeance.

Much like Athena in the Arachne story tbh

Independent fr fr, def wants to protect her wife from any other gods but also doesn’t worry about anyone messing with her.

I see her as a really good leader tbh

Wise tree af, knows you better than you know yourself and WILL use it against you if you piss her off.

Outsmarts people for breakfast.

In terms of Odysseus I think she’d def get annoyed with him but because shes got more important things to worry about she sticks with him.

“Goddess of wisdom, master of war, my life has one mission…create the greatest warrior.”

Jeff-ARES

Alright. God of war you know where this is going. Major anger issues but he’s sm more than that guys trust pls it’s just for the plot guys pls come back where are you going—

Angry ANGRY guy that’s why I chose him

Also I get major fire nation zuko vibes from him..NOT just cause he was burned I swear on my life

Anyway, if you’re lucky enough to not die and finally see past the blood thirst you’d see a whooooole lot of angsty regrets and if you peel it back a little more he’s bi

Fighting the demons daily

All those battles go straight to the head and probably boost his ego (FAKE FAKE FAKE) to no end.

I interpret ares as arrogant, brutal, and egocentric but I think a good arc for Jeff would to be to try and change that (maybe even heal some burned bridges with Jane, and his brother, who knows??)

He’s trying I swear

Ben def hangs with him and try’s to make him turn a new leaf and leave his asshole ways. (Even if he isn’t the best influence)

Quite literally insane idk what to tell you

Still love him though he’s a new guy I swear ignore the blood on him that’s normal you’re crazy.

“What kind of sick coward holds back his power while his friends get devoured? He didn’t even fight Scylla…didn’t even try to kill her.!”

Aaaaaand the crowd goes wild. Unfortunately those are all the characters I have inspo for rn but I hope more will come to me!! Also I wish I could have found a better quote for Jeff but oh well. All of these quotes are from EPIC/god games by Jorge Rivera-Herrans!! :). Honestly kind of scary to think of a mansion in this au it wouldn’t last 8 seconds. Would Ej technically live in the basement?? I’d love to hear others thoughts on this cause why not just add ☝️

Happy summer ya’ll☀️☀️☀️

[neoncat666]

extremely long shadows over welde character analysis post

by extremely long i mean its fucking 3k words cause I go too silly.

Spoilers up to ep 8 and its mostly rambles so apolocheese. I also posted this on my twitter so if u saw it there here's an actual text version LOL

Argentum:

Oh my god. You are soooo…… First of all, in the story we’ve gotten this. Argentum is a strong headed, curious person who is a bit stubborn and holds themself at a bit of a graceful appearance on the outside. They are smart, witty, but also a bit of a temper especially when it comes to frankly a little stupid ideas. They are also kind and care for others. We were shown from the beginning that they enjoy their work and meeting fans and even with people they just met are willing to help them stay safe. Also they’re a little dumb. Sometimes curiosity overrides rational thinking and that was shown when they touched the weird fucking webbing in the cave and also that ENTIRE plan when there was the confrontation between Vhaeraun and Lolth which was fucking actually crazy. This isn’t even beginning to talk about the head friend. I am constantly thinking about that voice and who that could be. Brings us speculation around them. Argentum is not human, or at least fully human. Their eyes are def not human and Hayden is a silly lil guy who would pull a trick like that. There was one speculation on them possibly being a Kalashtar and I think it could fit but honestly for now it hasn’t been on my forefront. I also bought the inscriptor class finally and was looking at how possibly they were built. What stats what subclass ect. I don’t fucking know.. Now you might be asking “Hey why don’t you just ask?” CAUSE IM SCARED. But honestly cause I wanted to see if I could figure it out myself lmao. It boiled down to either Mystery or Historian subclass is what Snail helped me narrow to. Could be wrong tho. There’s also little tidbits about Argentum that have come from outside the sessions like when I asked if they had a canonical birthday cause “celebrating fictional characters birthdays is cringe” “fuck you happy birthday argentum” is funny. Still honestly wanna know if any of the party has canon birthdays. I got hit with the “Oh they don’t know their own birthday.” and then swindled. There was also the discussion on Hayden’s pcs never really having parents or family and Argentum was included in that list which more or less got confirmed in session this episode (7). I still don’t know their motives, still don’t know their relationships with others because it seems everyone is connected to someone except Argentum, and I still don’t know who their patron is and if that is the same as the voice in their head. Love the silly though

Phoenix:

Fifi….. Not much was known about you until today and holy shit did it rock my world. Before we had known he was the apprentice to Ipswich and was sent in his place as guest of honor. We also then found out he was a spy working on tailing Lolth and that’s kinda all we knew about Phoenix for a bit, at least heavy lore wise. He’s a sarcastic, witty, bitch and I love him so much. I could never surpass Snail as Phoenix Enjoyer but it’s close. We learned a bit more during the nightmare drink sequence where he met his patron and got his powers fucking zapped. A couple things stood out to me from it. How his patron looked and specific wording from Phoenix. We know Ipswich isn’t mortal anymore but Phoe had said something along the lines of “I’d get my ass kicked and be right back here the next day.” He is surrounded by death or even just the undead. His patron deals in undead magic and I don’t think if Phoenix gets knocked down he wouldn’t be back again looking all fine the next day. We don’t know his patron’s name which like. Fuck. but lmao. Anyways Ipswich is tracking him like crazy and says he has this important quest although we don’t know a lot of Phoe’s thoughts and feelings on what he’s doing. To me it almost seems like he’s a tool or pawn for others and idk if I can fully call him a good person. Doing a bit of research into his pact and such it seems that he’s just going to possibly lose more and more humanity as he gets stronger but also i couldn’t tell you how much he has already. There’s also the whole cousins and throne thing that got dropped this episode. It seems his family is also involved with this whole scheme but Phoe is the favourite of the bunch. The idea that he could possibly be royalty was also thrown around and i think if he was like secret prince it would be from a large family all vying for a throne or he is working with Ipswich and others to usurp the current ruler and take the power for himself. Although knowing Fifi it’ll probably be like a secret third option. Not much except he’s so 90s movie older sister to me and the fact Ipswich runs a school for swindlers which is kinda funny.

Sunder:

Babygirl. Pookie. Love of my life who I want to kill me. God. This is now my love letter to you. I saw you across the bar and thought you were sooo scary and I’ve been enraptured ever since. Anyways that’s a freak. He’s not the most talkative and seems more lonely despite everything. They’re funny, loyal, kind, and ruthless. We didn’t get much for Sunder for a bit until mostly the shopping episode. We learned a bit through Kelly and the nightmare drink of what makes up Sunder but it didn’t really culminate until the head crushing I would say. Honestly I don’t even care I just fucking love the way Sunder is played. Like I’m sitting here trying to find words that aren’t just I think he’s neat cause I do think analyzing him is intriguing. They’re going to get angry and they’re going to get violent and you are not safe. It’s something that was so surprising at first because of how much Sunder kind of fell into the background. The nightmare drink gave us the first look at this, that Sunder had apparently killed someone, a kid even, but a lot of their violence was played off as a joke by the community, I know I did. Learned today that the person in that nightmare was Ilmater and it shows that she wasn’t lying when she said that visions and nightmares of this accident are a plague. I believe them when they say it was an accident and idk how young they were but to harbor that from a young age will fuck you up. Their morals are something that intrigues me i would say the most. No trouble in murder although I assume that’s more or less towards people who piss him off or are generally bad people. He’s kind hearted and that’s shown a lot especially with this last interaction I’d say. I still need to like rewatch a lot of parts of it but “we were just kids” genuinely fucking rocked me to my core and it got me i won’t lie. We’re still very early in but idk, I want to see Sunder truly happy and not haunted by the ghosts of their past. I feel this was most likely the first step but it’s hard to say as we go forward. I think violence and blood will always follow it’s just how they choose to take it.

The Wall:

I think now Wall is the character we know the least about, at least to me. We know his duty to Eilistraee and his duty to Zephrael and also his little foodie quirks (love him dearly) but outside of that I don’t think we know a lot. He’s the character I have the least notes for now but I do know this. He is loyal to a fault, a little dense, kind, and revels in battle and violence. I think about his nightmare and the fear of losing her and the sword then what happened to this episode. He’s had this since he was a child and then he had this dream, this trip to the beastland plane and looked Eilistraee in the eye and fought her. I believe he still loves her, cares for her, but I also think it has changed since that episode no doubt. Rewinding a bit, I think a bit about him being told he has to be pure of heart in order to wield the sword. What does pure of heart truly mean? Wall loves fighting and murder. He actively committed torture. Also he’s the bodyguard for an objectively bad man. There’s the argument of his intentions are pure although I doubt you can do a lot of what he did and have those intentions be fully pure. It’s just something I think about more than probably a normal person should teehee. Anyways the conversation he and Rae had at the beginning of this session should classify as psychological warfare cause I genuinely do not think I’m ever going to recover. I have been talking about it for weeks how they are the chosens, favored, by literal enemies and seem to have some sort of hit on them by a couple of deities now. I thought about how it might affect relationships and how Wall views them. We know he’s very loyal but I always wondered how far he would need to be pushed before that is broken. Seems like an extreme amount. His morals are probably what intrigue me the most tbh. I’d kill to know what his alignment is LMAO. Most of all I just really love the Wall because he is goofy and silly but he also isn’t a stupid brick wall that doesn’t know anything and I really enjoy seeing the times he gets to explain things. Fuck it we Wall.

Zephrael:

Okay so this will be the longest one cause I’m biased and yes Zephrael is my favourite. I always feel a little bad when it comes to that and showing that favouritism because I truly do love the entire party so much. This hit me the most when the show was just starting out and I did feel like I needed to show how much I loved each character and not just focus on Rae lol. I hope this thread can at least show that (if you even make it this far) Anyways Zephrael is a fucking freak and I love him so much. I’ve done multiple posts on him before and yeah Im gonna repeat some of it here i wont lie. Right out the gate we probably learn the most and yet the least about Rae’s past and present. He is an emissary for the reformed church of Lolth and an honored guest. He had known about Edo’s work before and talked about how it had helped with relations between the public and the reformed church. This means everything and nothing to us. But it does show that despite Rae’s… oddness, he is extremely well spoken when he wants to be and I think about that speech a lot. The next few episodes gave us some more information yet also a lot more questions. These weird pains that seem to predict disasters, the extreme phobia of spiders despite being a paladin of Lolth, and his both egotistical yet self deprecating attitude. It was fascinating to watch him because he clashed but never in a way that made him irredeemable and I’ll go more into that at the end section. A few early things I thought about a lot before the catalyst that was the nightmare drink were who the reformed church was, where did Zephrael come from, why was he chosen as this ambassador, and why he didn’t know undercommon but knew abyssal. These are still questions I have to this day LMAO. The nightmare drink vision I possibly overanalyze the most next to Phoenix’s. It stood out due to the fact that it wasn’t, bad. Rae could see again, he saw his father and best friends again, he got told he was going to learn the truth again. Why was this considered a bad thing? Everyone else experienced horrors and regrets yet Zephrael got sorrow. It jumpstarted the part aasimar Rae theory tho. Angel imagery Rae makes me clinically insane I won’t lie and his father having these large wings and bright white light did not help. There’s the big question of what he is and also how he joined the church. Hell, even how he feels about the church as well, truly at least. During one of the hiatuses fandom went crazy and Snail Snailmuds dropped out of nowhere that the runes on Rae’s body weren’t just random but fucking translated abyssal that said “PAIN CHAOS POWER” which first of all goes hard second of all what the fuck.

Theory crafting for Zephrael always feels like climbing uphill and also being constantly shot at cause every time something happens with that man it turns out to be a secret third thing going on oh mygod. Anyways I’ve discussed whether or not he was forced into this church, was kidnapped, born into it, ect because at the end of the day, he seems to very much be a tool or pawn for this church and/or Lolth. Also the whip being an artifact of Lolth or whatever they’re called again I forgot??? What the fuck dude. ALSO HIM SLEEPING IN BATHTUBS????? Grizzly has said this will make sense later but genuinely what the fuck there is something wrong with him. Moving on, revelation about the tattoos comes out and we get the torture episode. Well we get the holy shit they just killed those guys begining and then torture. First of all, I cheered louder than anyone else when Rae actually did fucking combat instead of running away and also the fact he can use his whip. Anyways dumb and dumber torture a guy and first of all the lay on hands to keep him alive during torture was insane and I hope to see it again in anything and it’s also where it’s learned that the tattoos on him were “forcibly engraved” which was honestly brushed off and a lot happened that I think most people forgot but I didn’t cause I’m crazy. Anyways moving on from THAT we get the typical Rae. Dodging questions when Argentum tries to interrogate him and also dunno if he’s just fuckin lying or not when he does actually answer them.

Episode 6 and 7 are where I think Rae slightly pivots. Not really noticeable but he feels a little more, close. It was also a change I noticed with the cast and I think that helped a lot of character dynamics as well. Rae’s stupid beef with Argentum was so fucking funny and I do think about him wanting to heal Sunder before himself after the Bulette because if he heals Sunder, how would that help him. Yes they’re his bodyguard but the monster is dead and it’s not like Sunder can heal him back. It was a decision that I think was the most different for Rae because he was shown to care deeply for Wall but not so much the others as much. He still doesn’t care for the others as much as he does The Wall but I do think he has grown a fondness or care for the others whether he wants to or not. And thats the thing, I could not tell you if he does actually wanna care for them or not. Yes they are allies and help but he seems to try and keep things at a transactional level or how much power it may bring him. He still does but like his dynamic with Argentum seems closer cause the antagonizing feels more like siblings getting on each other’s nerves rather than a growing distance. I think Sunder also displaying that brutality may have put him more into Rae’s good books too. Anyways he read a fucking book huge day. Now he has even worse mommy issues. Ep 7 killed me with hammers but that was spoken about. His relationship with Wall is something that fascinates me though. Rae is selfish, it’s not hidden at all, yet he does seem to care deeply for Wall and almost defends him more than he would defend himself. It’s nice to see for this bodyguard and his charge dynamic but ep 7 spread some light on it and I do think their bond will outlive the will of the Gods but what do I know, I’m not anyone at that table. Zephrael is rude, odd, egotistical but also masochistic and does care deeply when he wants to and you don’t see that kind of character as much I wanna say. He’s my favourite cause his weird gnc swag enraptured me thats all he is post over.

Not actually over cause there’s one last thing. These characters would not be these characters without the wonderful players behind them. Each episode brings out better and better performances that have me actually going crazy over them. I genuinely wouldve had nothing to write about if it weren’t for the fact everyone brings so much life into these characters and loves them so much that they feel so fucking real. They don’t feel flat or simple but very nuanced characters that I love to study and even be wrong about (i actually hate being wrong and every time im wrong i get so ashamed) but Argentum’s flourishes and talks to get out of situations, Phoenix’s wit and holy shit that dread form voice, Sunder during the market fight and then the softer scene with Varic, Wall’s humor and even talking about the more serious stuff, and Zephrael’s ability to balance harshness and endearing at the same time. That’s Hayden, Leizu, Juzo, Ben, and Grizzly and I genuinely cannot fucking talk about the performances enough. I’ve thought about making a post just about it but I fear I just wouldn’t be able to articulate what I wanna say enough. Then obviously it wouldn’t even be possible without the fucking amazing world building and npcs Jonah has provided. Everything is so immersive and I find myself caring for each and every npc we meet whether caring for their safety or caring too much cause I dislike them. Every npc sticks with me and I grow so attached so quickly because they feel so real in this world that also feels so fucking real. It feels like we are just peeking into another world and I actually can’t multitask when watching sow cause I get too sucked in. It’s really hard to do that and I talk about it a lot but never really publicly so I thought I would here.

Anyways for real this time post over, this ended up way longer than I thought it was gonna be so ur a real one if you read this all the way through lol. I’m off to go think about sow merch again as I wait for permission and stuff cause im crazy. See ya later

[ofmdee]

MAN i am so close to getting the next part of BU written, im like at the very end of the chapter but im having a hard time wrapping it up, i think because i Know that means then i have to do the pictures 😂

the chapter kinda started off as a freewriting thing, a pwp i wasn't planning on sharing, but then i realized it Could actually be a good filler chapter, and once that happened i was like oh i can't write anymore 😅

but i added a few plotty things, including a conversation i wanted ed and stede to have re: ed's transmogrification which i think is important, and ed giving stede a pearl he finds. he's bringing stede little trinkets like a kitty bringing gifts. mermaids are just big cats 2 me.

and then stede starts calling ed his pearl, etc etc

i WANT TO want to write, i want to keep creating this fic, i love it so much, it's my passion project etc, but i am just having such a hard time with it lately! i am rly trying to follow this advice and be gentle w myself and not push it, but it's hard! i worry that by the time i Really feel like doing it again, anyone who was interested will have moved on. i compare myself to other ppl too often, and i feel like holy shit ive been working on this for over 2 years, i should have SO MUCH more to show for the amount of time i put into it 💀

and then ofc i always doubt myself, like this isn't good, ppl are just reading it because they are my friends/feel sorry for me, the sims stuff is Cringe and im so amateur and embarrassing and everything i do sucks!!!

but also ive been rereading the fic during downtime at work, just to try and get a feel for it again, and im like oh, this is actually NOT awful? and it's making me like hmmmmm maybe i WILL get back into this....... i really do love it. i love reading it. and that's so important, i think. i like what i create, even tho i am also convinced no one else will. idk when my self confidence fuckin TANKED man but i think so little of myself and i hate that! i wanna think im the shit. or at least okay.

anyway idk what im even talking abt anymore, lmfao, just. fic stuff!!! being obsessive abt stuff. fandom stuff! i'm thinking abt taking an edible later and then trying to churn out the rest of the chapter so i at least have the framework to edit but idk, i rly AM also trying not to force it. i have ts4 open still from making my new icon/header and im like hmmm i could load my photoshoot save and start working on the pics.... but idk.

i HAVE gotten really into diamond painting over the past month or so, tho, and i think having another hobby, one that isn't tied to the internet in general, is rly helping me balance some things a bit more. here are a few pics of things ive made:

ive even ordered a custom ofmd kit, using one of ann's edits as the picture, im soooooo excited for it to arrive!!! ive been rly obsessive abt this since i started, but it's rly relaxing? it makes my mind go (white noise static sound) and rly helps me forget abt being anxious. but then i can also end up getting anxious about doing it Too Much, but that's a whole other can of worms re childhood trauma etc etc w/e

this turned into kinda a life update post lmfao, i just wanted to untangle some fic thoughts but it got away from me. oh well! idk thanks if u read this and thanks if u read my fic, i promise i haven't forgotten abt it 🧜‍♂️

[nerves-nebula]

I know this might be kinda stupid but. do you have any music recs. specifically of the child abuse variety because I'd be very interested in that.

*sweats* ok so here's the thing- I have a playlist called "Abuse" and its full of music that is either explicitly about abuse, related to abuse thematically, or just has Abuse Vibes to me (some of which is likely inexplicable to other people)

im also kind of self conscious about my taste in music, cause sometimes it's like. i dunno. the steven universe soundtrack or a fnaf song i really like. and thats CRINGE! and really any genre of song can be about Child Abuse so it's like. idk if you'll like any of the things i recommend.

THAT BEING SAID, here's a selection i guess!! because I'm flattered you would even ask haha. a lot of these are pretty well known already tho so idk how helpful this will be. anyway this got hella long so. under the cut!

songs explicitly about or including themes of child abuse/having shit parents/having familial issues:

Guiltless by Dodie

Black by Okkervil River (narrative about a guys girlfriend telling him about her dad sexually abusing her. one of, if not the first, song i ever heard about CSA and it holds a special place in my heart)

The Mute by Radical Face

Ripple Effect by Scott Helman (kinda more about generational trauma & healing if im honest. i dont listen to it as much as the others on this list)

Poplar St by Glass Animals

Daddy Issues by The Neighborhood

Twin Sized Mattress by The Front Bottoms (classic i know)

The Family Jewels by Marina and the diamonds

Family Line by Conan Gray

Christmas Kids by ROAR (ok technically not about the kids but i find the subtext of how the kids are used in this abusive relationship horrific. also, it reminds me of my parents)

Drift Away - Steven Universe (OK I KNOW ITS NOT TECHNICALLY ABOUT THAT BUT TO ME IT'S ABOUT MY MOM. IT TRACKS TOO EXACTLY TO NOT INCLUDE HERE)

Other Abuse songs:

labour by Paris Paloma

This Hurts by Mindless Self Indulgence (my ex wife says i listen to this song to go joker mode and i hate that because i know she means Straight Joker and not Camp Joker but i do really like the song)

I'm your puppet by Gregory And The Hawk

Eric by Mitski (REAL GOOD)

Believe Me by James and the Shame (more about spiritual abuse sort of)

Girl Anachronism by The Dresden Dolls

Thermodynamic Lawyer esq GFD by Will Wood and the Tapeworms

We'll Never Have Sex by Leith Ross (less about abuse and more about, like, a healing relationship. still i think you can easily read into the alluded past abuse or sexual issues going here)

Fuck About It by Waterparks

Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want by The Smiths (this is just such an abused person song)

This Hurts by Mindless Self Indulgence (my ex wife says i listen to this song to go joker mode and i hate that because i know she means Straight Joker and not Camp Joker but i do really like the song)

Sex With A Ghost by Teddy Hyde

I Cant Handle Change by ROAR (obviously)

rotting by vivivivivi

rook by sardonica

My favorite "Abuse Vibe" songs (NOTE: some of these songs might be about abuse or toxic relationships but um. im not very smart or good at sorting so. they ended up here):

Take a Slice by Glass Animals (PLEASE LISTEN TO THIS ONE FUCK THE REST OF THIS LIST EXCEPT ANIMALS I LOVE THOSE TWO)

Animals by Stomach Book (SEE ABOVE)

Youth by Daughter

Duck Or Ape by ROAR

Million Dollar Gold Digger (idk what it is about this remix im not even a huge fan of either of the songs its mixing. this is the VIBES part of the rec list i don't have to explain myself)

I'll Be Good by Jaymes Young

Gooey by Glass Animals

Breaking Down by Florence & The Machine

Moby Dick by Jakey

Aurora Borealis by Lemon Demon (hard to justify but this song just brings such vivid "abused kid failing to be normal while hanging out with someone and further isolating themself" vibe. yes im projecting. leave me alone)

The Dismemberment Song by Blue Kid (sometimes you just wanna kill your parents)

I'M GONNA WIN by Rob Cantor (this one just feels like anger and bitterness and being suspicious of anyone who tries to help you. I listen to it when im fucking going through it. its also a bop but you prolly already know that, i think it's pretty popular? idk)

It's Alright by Mother Mother (stereotypical i know)

South Dakota by Jakey (honestly i dunno. i dont even know where south dakota is)

My Blood by Twenty One Pilots (for all you sibling havers out there)

My Play by AJR (my parents arent divorced but man i wish they were. Also, this just brings up very vivid memories for me trying to show my parents things and it is fucking crushing haha)

Best Of You by Foo Fighters (idk just more shit that reminds me of my parents)

The Woods by San Fermin (this one is just very "I should have died as a child"-core to me)

JUVY ft. Julia Bard by Nnamdi Ogbonnaya (this guy is weird and i didnt like his stuff at first but then... i came back... and now he holds a place in my heart)

Grape Gil by Nnamdi Ogbonaya (i think this is my favorite song of his. I nearly made an owl house animatic to it)

Obsession by OK GO

Better Than Me by The Brobecks

ARE WE STILL FRIENDS by Tyler The Creator

Dumb Dumb by Mazie (honestly this one just reminds me of thinking "i hate it here everyone is so dumb" and then maladaptive daydreaming for hours to escape the situation hah)

Stone Wall, Stone Fence by Gregory And The Hawk

Never Wanna Fall in Love With U by Nelward

Another New World by Punch Brothers (this one is such an explicit and straightforward narrative i really can't explain it other than like. the emotions.)

Julep by Punch Brothers (once again, the emotions)

Always Sayin' by The Littles Man Band

A NIGHT OUT ON EARTH by Waterparks

Consequences by Lovejoy

Scum by Lovejoy

SMELLS LIKE TEEN SECRETS by lil boodang (another hard to justify one. idk. it just feels like it ok. sue me)

anyway i'm sure there's more but thats just a quick selection from my Abuse playlist. and by quick i mean you better appreciate this cuz i put way more effort into this than i needed to.