#kinda coming out
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For a while I thought I was asexual as I’m 18 (then 17) and I’ve never been in a relationship or even had a crush.
My friends joked that I was asexual and I know it’s not a bad thing if I were but getting that idea forced on me really closed me in. I spent nights crying myself to sleep feeling that the people I trusted and called friends labelled me as I found it hard to talk about those feelings.
I’ve never been good at talking to people, holding conversations or even just talking about myself. Part of it is social anxiety, the fear that people will judge me or laugh at my choices.
The more I thought about it, I’d never even liked any boys in my year at school and that just helped my friends comment bury deeper into my brain.
When I left school I had a lot of alone time and that helped me realise that maybe for me men weren’t the only option. I went through lots of blogs and spent a lot of time researching bisexuality and if that was me.
Then for a while I decided I didn’t need a label. I was so confused.
Towards the end of 2023 I started to feel like maybe men weren’t even on the table. I felt no connection or desire for a boyfriend and struggle to picture myself with one.
But women on the other hand. Yes I can picture myself dating a woman, holding her hand, her warmth, her glow. I realised that even when describing women in my many failed attempts at writing a book my detail always went so much deeper and was more precise than for the male characters.
And so after slowly working myself through a lot of sexuality confusion and becoming comfortable using the term to describe myself. I am a lesbian.
Thanks for reading this
Yours,
A closeted (though looking back it’s probably made of glass) lesbian.
:)
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Happy one year anniversary to this FNAF post,,
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#fnaf movie#abby schmidt#golden freddy#coryxkenshin#william afton#springtrap#THIS was a quick lil thing I wanted to make!#they all finally made it to their destination#took them a full year but they got there!#The og post means a lot to me actually#it’s when I started to draw fnaf art and kinda never stopped?#I’ve loved fnaf for a very long time since its come out#so being accepted into its community meant a lot#here’s to another year of fnaf art!!#Also did Abby ever pay Cory or did he just do a freebie#maybe the next movie will answer these pressing questions pff
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still ruminating over Lost In the Book With Spooky Skeletons Part 1, so here's a selection of some of my favorite little bits! (...some more loosely paraphrased than others) (I just feel like Idia has no room to criticize in general, okay)
anyway, I'm sure we're just going to have a fun time celebrating Halloween and nothing bad is going to happen whatsoever! :)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#lost in the book with nightmare before christmas#hajimari no halloween#calling dibs on skeleton kisses as the name of my band#man scully is just a delightful little weirdo and i'm enjoying him immensely#(i'm going with scully until we get something official just because it makes me think of x-files)#(スカリー is also how the agent's name is transliterated and i don't know if it was intentional but i love it as a bonus reference)#(i want to believe™)#gosh though#'no one at school likes me because i won't shut up about halloween and jack skellington' i'm feeling VERY attacked right now twst#look scully your people are out there#just get on the forums and -- oh wait you're probably from like the 1800s or something#(my theory is that he's from the past and there's just some Book Magic going on to bring us together)#(LOOK they made a point of saying that the book fair has been held annually for a super long time)#a hot topic goth born before hot topic was invented...so sad 😔#i dunno i could be wrong but that feels like a good working theory for now#if it wasn't for mal sensing twsty ~magic~ on him i would think he's like. a christmas elf who's going to kidnap jack in a reverse-nmbc#(not ruling that out though because it would be amazing)#god all the sprites in this event look AMAZING. loving the desaturated colors and the extra drawn-on lines 😍#i'm genuinely kinda sad that we aren't gonna get to see every character like this#who knows...maybe halloweentown will be imperiled again next year...#come back and destroy my keys again please#(that said i'm doing weirdly well so far?)#(i promised i'd save for sebek and just do cursory pulls to get the SRs and not hope for the SSRs)#(...but then leona jumpscared me four coffins in anyway. halloween magic is REAL)
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Look at him. I would die for him. I would kill for him.
Either way — what bliss.
#merthur#bbc merlin#bamf merlin#i mean kinda? more like madman#ok hear me out s1 vs s5 parallels go CRAZY#merlin’s obsession with arthur by s5 … borderline personality worship…. slow descent into madness.. YUM#anyway fellas#we’re so back#more bangers to come
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(this is basically the gist of his voicelines, right?)
#genshin impact#genshin impact memes#genshin memes#neuvillette#nahida#genshin spoilers#''morax's days are numbered mark my fucking words'' ''as soon as the narukami comes out of hiding its over for her'' ''idc how harmless he#claims to be - i will crush barbatos beneath me with divine and final judgement.'' ''hey um. its kinda fucked up what those people#did to kusanali? thats kinda fucked up 🥺''
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🐦⬛: I'm fine..
💀: Stay still
#dragon age#dragon age veilguard#dragon age the veilguard#lucanis dellamorte#emmrich volkarin#lucanis x emmrich#emmrich x lucanis#old man yaoi#have fun playing the game#im just gonna watch the livestream when the game come out#Spite just chilling there bcoz he's the one who's been making Lucanis fight the hardest enemy#he is waiting fir a right time till he fully possessed Lucanis#kinda want to see more Lucanis and Spite interaction like Eddie and Venom situation
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Come with Kong to Monkeyland!
Kong just wants to show his New Empire in Hollow Earth
My brain constantly nagging me to draw this as Kong:
#godzilla#godzilla x kong: the new empire#kong#godzilla x kong#COME WITH ME TO MONKEYLANDDD!!!!#this is kong whenever he wants to invite Godzilla to his New Empire#I can see that Kong kinda wants to hang out with Goji cos he thinks they are friends now#Goji just kinda-ish doesn't kill him cos Mothra said: NO#so Goji tolerates it...#for now...#anyway are you happy now brain#i drew it#just for you#do not repost#my art
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his one-sided love for life
#yes ik the caption's corny but come on. come on it's fucking sanji what more do you expect#i tried to make his features kinda hint towards taz's but ultimately i think he just kinda turned out his own way???#idk man i streamed painting him like 3 times idk what's going on w this painting anymore#one piece#op#art#illustration#nettillust#sanji#black leg sanji#one piece sanji#opla
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dad said it was my turn with juni ba's jason
#this was actually kinda fun#absolutely obsessed with jasons characterization in this comic#i feel like its such a good perspective we dont normally see#im gonna buy the physical copies eventually#might wait for the tim one to come out tho#jason todd#the boy wonder#juni ba#red hood#robin#dc fanart#dc comics#ash's doodlings
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It could get worse and it DID get worse
FIRST - PREVIOUS - NEXT
MASTERPOST (for the full series / FAQ / reference sheets)
#deltarune#undertale#deltarune fanart#undertale fanart#utdr#crossover#crossover comic#comic#twin runes#twin runes comic#twin runes au#kris dreemurr#frisk#lesslo#my art#and we're also getting more hints to frisk's little secret#not long until the truth comes out I'd say#depends on how long they can keep in the guilt#but as we've established#this place is kinda made to amplify these feelings#kinda like it was made to teach someone a lesson#HMMMMMM#lesslo seems to know this place preeeetty well#don't tell me they kept him prisoner in there because he kept making everyone's life worse#yep#that's totally what happened#apparently he's immune to guilt though#cheeky bastard#I WAS PROMISED A MINOTAUR AND NOT SOME BITCHY CUPID
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Liu Qingge comes back to find out that everyone believes Shen Qingqiu murdered him and he’s offended that anyone would think Shen Qingqiu could beat him in a fight. And, as Liu Qingge bitches people out for believing such a ridiculous tale, Shen Qingqiu is off to the side muttering about how he “could absolutely kill that brute if he wanted to.” Liu Qingge turns to him exasperated, grumpy, and annoyed and snaps, “You couldn’t even stop me from killing myself.”
#it would just be so satisfying okay?? for a reveal that sqq tried to save lqg to come out and now everyone KNOWS#I’m trying to write a completely different fic if yall couldn’t tell#I only come up with a ridiculous amount of wips all at once when I’m trying to do something else#incorrect quotes#kinda#liujiu#liushen#mxtx svsss#svsss au#sqq svsss#svsss#svsss fanfiction#svsss fic#svsss shen qingqiu#svsss shen jiu#svsss liu qingge#liu qingge#shen jiu#shen qingqiu#pidw#original shen qingqiu#mxtx hell#mxtx fandom#svsss spoilers#scumbag system#scumbag self saving system#scum villain self saving system#danmei
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on a completely separate note; shizun luo binghe with a disciple shen yuan who fell into the abyss??? *thinks about LBH canonically stealing SQQ's corpse for 5 years* he'd hallucinate i think. like, like visual and audial hallucinations.
Keeps thinking he's seeing SQQ in the corner of his eyes, or wandering between the trees, amongst a group of disciples. Thinks he hears him calling for him, but its just the wind or another disciple.
Gets Xiu Ya reforged but patently fucking refuses to make a sword mound. Because his disciple Is Not Dead :))) There was No Body. He's Not Dead. And If You keep Insisting That He Is, He's Gonna Skewer You :). He's holding onto Xiu Ya so he can return his most favored disciple's sword when he returns. It's on his hip right next to Zheng Yang where it's supposed to be.
Also this motherfucker?? does not sleep btw. He has the image of SQQ, wide eyed and hysterical and standing at the mouth of the abyss burned into his fucking eyelids. Can't use the dreamscape to escape it either because he keeps trying to save him and either he does and it's an incredibly cruel trick to wake up to, or he doesn't and he gets his heart broken in several different pieces again.
There is no convincing this man that Shen Qingqiu is dead. Absolutely nothing at all. He is buried so deep in denial that moles would be jealous of how deep he is. He keeps making tea for two in the bamboo house only to remember that it's just him. SQQ's fans are hiding everywhere, little reminders of his presence. He goes to wake up SQQ on the mornings he sleeps in-- only to find the room empty.
#svsss#luo binghe#svsss au#scum villain#scum villian self saving system#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#disciple shen yuan#lbh. visibly exhausted and with twitchy eyes: im fine :) | everyone else: ho no the fuck you ARENT.#SQQ was hysterical not because he found out LBH was half-demon but bc he was having a long-awaited mental breakdown over his autonomy :)#or (limited) lack thereof. he was having a sudden onset crisis of mortality and was handling at quite literally the WORST time. oops#im thinking very hard that LBH would never push his disciple into the abyss especially with no system to force him to. so SQQ either#had to goad him into it (failing always) or throw himself in. he ended up doing it himself but not before some very impressive hysterics.#BUT ALSO. IF THIS HAD BEEN WHERE SQQ WAS THE HALF-HEAVENLY DEMON INSTEAD IT WOULD'VE BEEN SO GREAT.#and by great i mean horribly angsty bc SQQ is NOT doing too hot and has. in very SY-like fashion. convinced himself that LBH will kill him#when he finds out he's a demon. so when it comes out i have this mental image of him lunging at LBH and LBH flinches back. but SQQ wraps hi#hands around the blade of Zheng Yang and yanks it up so the tip of the blade is digging into his chest where is heart is. LBH can't yank th#sword away without risking slicing into SQQ's hands. SQQ's hair has fallen out of its tail/bun and is now messily spilling down his#back and its NO helping the kinda deranged look he has going on. he's visibly shaking and his eyes keep flittering away and back at LBH's#face. SQQ is looking at the messages from the system warning him that he has to go into the abyss or punishment will occur. he's like.#rambling though. talking about how shizun doesn't *like* unclean things and there is nothing more unclean than a demon. like he is#INSISTING. LBH can't?? get a fucking word in. actually. SY isn't listening that much either anyways. too overwhelmed with the system and#the amount of stress he's under and his crumbling mental state and the innate and primal desire to live even when he's standing in front of#his own executioner. it all ends with him sitting on the ground at the lip of the abyss with his hair falling in his face. he looks so#unkempt and fallen apart and so distinctly *non-Shen Qingqiu* that LBH feels physically ill over it. tears are streaming down SQQ's face#and despite everything he is smiling. its not a nice smile. its a very frayed falling apart at the seams about to crack smile.#he tells shizun not to worry about staining his blade with this disciple's filthy blood because this disciple will take care of it himself.#and then he falls into the abyss before luo binghe can so much as grab him. the only reason LBh doesn't literally jump in after him is bc#he was numb with shock and the abyss was already closed before he could feel his legs again :]
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What a terribly dull ending this is.
#a lil manga redraw I did quite some time ago#sebaciel#kuroshitsuji#black butler#ciel phantomhive#sebastian michaelis#my art#redraw#sorry for not posting for so long again life's been kinda crazy on me last couple months#for good and for worse ig#good news is I may be opening commissions soon💋#bad news I (got) dropped out of university🥀#can't say I hadn't seen it coming#just need to keep myself busy with something but can't find it in myself to look for an ACTUAL job outside of freelance for now...#too scary...
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smoke break
#this was lying around in my drafts for three months and i colored it just now so sry if the art style looks kinda 💀#teen skk is so special to bc they’re just idiot kids forced to get along and that’s what makes them hilarious#when will the unreleased seventeen light novel come out omfgggggg slamming my head into a brick wall#i need to see them in their peak years. their double black years. the years where they finally learned to trust and grow fond of each other#i am never painting again i cried every second doing this#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#osamu dazai#dazai osamu#nakahara chuuya#chuuya nakahara#sokouku#skk#lotus draws
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Fic recs #49: Calm before the storm
https://archiveofourown.org/works/37597804
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snowzone
#dreamworks trolls#trolls#trolls john dory#trolls bruce#trolls clay#trolls floyd#trolls branch#brozone#kinda missing the snow#while I'm glad it's not so cold anymore; I am not looking forward to how hot it gets#their sleds are walnut shells!! would a walnut shell make a good sled? probably not but it's cute so... walnut sled!#wanted to give bitty b one of those baby cow earmuffs and it spiraled to this lol#also saw some panels of dungeon meshi where young elves where these hats. truly inspired#haven't read/watched it yet but i can tell i would totally love it#I'm thinking of maybe making this my banner? it's like accidentally the correct size#trolls fanart#excuse the messiness#my art <3#trolls band together#i have another snowzone drawing but im not really vibing with it.#thinking of maybe posting those discarded sketches under like... a scrapyard tag#there's only like 2 sketches so far lol#sorry I haven’t posted some broppy in a bit#been having some trouble with it coming out a little stiff. so I’m thinking that some good old brozone can refresh my system lol
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