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chris-hartley · 3 years ago

Note

Tell me about other choice based games, also have you ever played oxenfree?

Ooh boy. For starters, I saw this and went "oh god where do I start" so that's a warning for what lies ahead. PS: Have not played Oxenfree and don't know what it is but I will look it up.

This is a spoiler-free zone unless otherwise stated in the headings btw :)

I know you know about Until Dawn so I'm not gonna touch that. But that being said I have to mention the Dark Pictures Anthology since that wasn't listed in the post :D.

THE DARK PICTURES ANTHOLOGY

The Dark Pictures Anthology is another choice-based game created by Supermassive Games, which made Until Dawn. Where Until Dawn was 8 hours long, The Dark Pictures games are all much shorter, with Man of Medan and Little Hope around 4 hours, and House of Ashes being at 6.

Each one of the Dark Pictures games is based roughly on a real-life event. Man of Medan is the Ourang Medan ship, Little Hope is the Salem Witch Trials, and House of Ashes takes place during the Iraq War. And the upcoming game Devil in Me is rumored to be based on the murder hotel of HH Holmes. Of course, with each came the fabrication of the threat/monster.

The games themselves are hit or miss. Personally, I enjoyed House of Ashes the most out of the three, followed by Man of Medan, and then Little Hope (I hated the ending but won't spoil it). I think one of the reasons I did like HoA best, is because of the length, they were able to build the characters more and make you like them and wanna save them, which the other two I felt lacked in that department.

In the end, the way they set up the games was very similar to Until Dawn (and on the off chance someone is reading these and doesn't know), one of the big components of all choice-based games is that you can save or kill any number of the playable characters: Alex, Julia, Conrad, Fliss, and Brad in Man of Medan. Andrew, Taylor, Daniel, Angela, and John in Little Hope. And Eric, Rachel, Salim, Jason, and Nick in House of Ashes.

The one tie-through of those games is the recurring character The Curator (who fans flock to partially due to his dump truck ass). He warns you of what's to come in weird puzzle-like riddles, can flat out give you hints, and overall in my opinion seems like you're talking to The Grim Reaper or Death. In his office he has a bookshelf where there is a series of books with symbols on them to represent the four games (which I will have tattooed on me now!): a little ship for Man of Medan, a stick figure doll for Little Hope, an eclipse for House of Ashes, and a compass (although I keep wanting to call it a protractor) for Devil in Me.

Anyway! That's the Dark Pictures. On to the next one... one that hasn't even come out yet lol.

THE QUARRY

So this game is the next game slated to be released by Supermassive Games (on June 10th). It has been released that the game is a "spiritual successor" to Until Dan and like that game, follows a stellar star-studded cast featuring David Arquette as Chris Hackett, Justice Smith as Ryan, Ted Raimi as Travis, Brenda Song as Kaitlyn, Halston Sage as Emma, Skylar Gisando as Max Binly, Siobhan Williams as Laura, Ariel Winter as Abigail, Evan Evagora as Nick, Miles Robbins as Dylan, Zach Tinker as Jacob, Lance Henriksen as Jedediah, Ethan Suplee as Bobby, Lin Shaye as Constance, and last but not least Grace Zabriskie as Eliza.

The game is announced to be 10 hours long and the first 30 minutes (aka the prologue) have been released on IGN. The Quarry follows 9 summer camp counselors (Max, Laura, Ryan, Dylan, Nick, Abigail, Emma, Jacob, and Kaitlyn) on the last night of camp at Hackett's Quarry, and some spooky shit starts happening.

Also the character Eliza has been confirmed to be almost a Curator/Dr. Hil type of harbinger of things to come which is kinda cool.

From what I've seen of the teasers and stuff, my theory is that it's werewolves and possibly a situation of the campers being hunted by humans (think The Most Dangerous Game). But nothing is confirmed that's just what I think.

From what I've seen, I'm VERY excited for this game's release. 45 days so the hype is building!

HIDDEN AGENDA

Ah yes, the shortest choice based game. Created by Supermassive Games to show off a functionality of the PS4, which I don't think was used for any other game, lol.

The game follows Becky Marney (played by Katie Cassidy) as she investigates the claims that the guy they've had in custody/on death row for being The Trapper killer-- calling card boobytrapping the bodies of his victims to kill the first responders too-- claims he isn't the actual trapper but has been taking the fall for his friend Adam.

Throughout the very short 2 hour game, you play as Becky and Felicity Graves who are trying to figure out if the claims of the alleged Trapper are true. Once again it plays into the choice based to where both of the characters can die in an attempt to solve the murders.

It's a fun game! It's just built as a party game with the feature using your phones as the controller and the functionality to (when playing as a group) have Hidden Agenda's in order to get people to react one way or another to choices, although there is a single player mode where you don't have that but it's still on your phone.

Anyway you can watch my stream here!

Onto another developer! Quantic Dream (or David Cage). I remember watching one playthrough of Until Dawn and someone comparing it to Heavy Rain, which is next up.

HEAVY RAIN

Heavy Rain was (from what I know) the first game to follow through on the "your choices actually matter" as far as choice-based games go. It was released in 2010 and follows the story of Ethan Mars whose son has been kidnapped by the infamous Origami Killer that has been taunting the city for years. The calling card is that the kid goes missing in broad daylight and the father of the sons (it's always boys) receives a series of trials they must go through as a test to see if they're a good enough dad to save their son. Each trial succeeded gives Ethan a few entries into a really sucky Hangman game that when fully completed gives him the address of where his son is.

That being said, you also play as Madison, a reporter who is writing an article about the Origami Killer and accidentally falls in love with Ethan, Norman (or as I mimic his Boston accent, Nahman) Jayden who is an FBI agent sent to investigate this serial killer, and Scott Shelby who is a private investigator hired by the parents of the missing kids to help the police in their investigation.

Over the span of the game, you complete the trials as Ethan and investigate the crimes as Jayden and Shelby, ultimately finding out who the killer is and bringing them to justice.

And the best part? You can kill or save all of them in a number of ways (including Ethan's son who you never play as but still).

I played this game a few years ago and while the graphics have aged with time, it is still a fantastic game and if you haven't played it (or watched a stream) I recommend it. Here is my personal stream of the game if you wanna check it out.

DETROIT: BECOME HUMAN

In 2018, Quantic Dream released its most recent game, Detroit: Become Human, which much like Heavy Rain makes good on it's promise to create a game where your choices do really matter. And this time, the graphics are UNREAL. It's roughly 10 hours long and follows the city of Detroit, Michigan way in the future (I'd say nearly 80 years from now but I don't know the exact date). In this future, we have developed a humanoid Android robot to do pretty much every job for us that we don't want to/can't do for ourselves.

The game follows 3 story lines where you're playing as the androids Kara (played by Valorie Curry), Marcus (played by Jesse Williams), and Connor (played by Bryan Dechart). Connor is a police assistant android whose mission is to help figure out why androids are slowly becoming sentient ("deviant") and exhibiting human-like traits like having emotions. Marcus, who has become deviant and with a group of others, begins to lead a resistance to show humans that they just want to be treated as equals (noted: your resistance can be peaceful or riot-like depending on your choices). And Kara starts off as a nanny/maid for a family but rescues the little girl from her abusive father and runs away in search of a better life for both of them.

Their stories start off separate but soon overlap with Kara ending up seeking help from Marcus, and Connor hunting down the shelter of deviant androids who are apart of the resistance. And like all the others, you can kill or save all three of the main characters along with the non-playable side ones (North, Simon, Josh, and Luther).

Once again. 10/10 game. My stream is linked here.

BEYOND: TWO SOULS (spoilers)

Another game by Quantic Dream, Beyond: Two Souls is different. Where as the other games give opportunities for the characters to die throughout the game and alter how it ends that way, Beyond has a pretty strict choice based nature.

The plot is you follow Jodie (played by Elliot Page) as she grows up and learns to make sense/become friends with the entity she was born linked to. She starts off as a child who is undergoing tests led by Nathan Dawkins (played by Willem Dafoe), eventually gets recruited by the CIA, and falls in love. The whole time you're playing as Jodie and her entity Aiden (pronounced eye-den not like how you'd normally say aye-den).

Eventually the game builds up as Jodie begins to learn where Aiden came from and why they are bonded and it ends with a big choice.

Either die and join Aiden in the afterlife, or live and have her ties to Aiden be severed. If you choose to live you also have the choice of being able to be in the established romantic relationship with CIA agent Ryan (played by Eric Winter).

Not gonna lie the first time I played the game I had to sit and stare at the screen after it ended cause it hit differently personally for me (as someone who also lost a twin prior to birth-- like Jodie with Aiden). But it was still fantastic nonetheless.

LIFE IS STRANGE (spoilers)

2015 was a good year for games. Because it gave us Until Dawn, and Life is Strange. LiS is the first game of a series created by Dontnod and Square Enix. It follows protagonist Max Caulfield as she discovers she has the ability to rewind time because she witnesses her best friend Chloe Price get shot at the hands of Nathan Prescott (the entitled rich kid).

She rewinds and manages to save Chloe, but her choice creates a ripple in time as she begins to see visions of the town of Arcadia Bay destroyed in a huge tornado.

The game goes on and on as you (along with Chloe) investigate the mysterious disappearance and eventual discovery of the murder of Chloe's "friend" (*cough* girlfriend) Rachel Amber.

But as you continue playing, you keep having to use Max's rewind powers in order to save Chloe's ass more than once and that leads to the dramatic choice at the end of the game: Sacrifice Arcadia Bay (and everyone living in it) to save Chloe, or Sacrifice Chloe to save the Bay-- also called Bay or Bae due to an option to be romantically involved with Chloe throughout the game.

Personally I think that ending is amazing because it really says a lot about what people value as they choose which one to save. It's a phenomenon known at the Trolley Problem and honestly so interesting. It's one of the reasons I love watching people play it for the first time/discussing the choice with others.

LIFE IS STRANGE: BEFORE THE STORM

Ah yes, Before the Storm, which was an interesting addition to the LiS universe. It's a prequel to the original game where you instead play as Chloe Price in the year prior to Rachel's disappearance while she is also dealing with the grieving of her father's death and mother's eventual remarriage with the security guard David Madsen.

Where as the main LiS game is split into 5 episodes, this game is only 3 (with an optional 4th as part of the deluxe edition). And in the original 3, you basically get a glimpse into Chloe and Rachel's friendship/relationship if you choose that path.

You witness Rachel's parental issues and the drama that comes with that, an accidental wildfire, you get to participate in Blackwell's production of The Tempest, and play DnD with Chloe's friends Steph and Mikey.

As for episode 4 (titled "Farewell"), you get to see the day that everything goes wrong for Chloe. Max announces her family is moving to Seattle on the same day that her dad dies in a horrific car crash. This episode made me BAWL my eyes out, mainly due to the fact it ends with Max leaving Chloe a tape in which she promises to keep in touch with her after she's gone, and in my playthrough of the main game, I chose Bay and therefore they never see one another again after she leaves.

Overall, the game is a great addition to the series. And it really gives a glimpse into Rachel Amber's personality and why exactly her and Chloe were so close. You can watch my stream here.

LIFE IS STRANGE 2

Not gonna lie this game is heavy, topic wise. The story follows brothers Sean and Daniel Diaz who are on the run from police after an incident of police brutality that left their dad dead (which resulted in Daniel discovering he has telekinesis powers and accidentally killed the cop who killed his dad.)

The two of them, now wanted criminals, start hitchhiking down the west coast of America heading for Mexico where their dad's family lives. Along the way they run into a LOT of trouble. They work on a pot farm, accidentally have a run-in with a religious cult, and reconnect with their mother who'd abandoned them years prior and stay with her in her desert commune.

One thing I really liked about this game is while it exists in it's own space, there are callbacks to the original LiS game (being able to see Arcadia Bay in either ruins or thriving, and getting to interact with David Madsen on the commune with different interactions based on the ending of main game). Also I felt it delivered more on the choices mattering. Where as I felt LiS's didn't matter aside from the ending one, this game mattered a lot more and had several endings.

Throughout the game you're playing as Sean (the older brother) and depending on how you choose to essentially raise Daniel while on your journey, the game can end in a number of ways which I really liked. Even if the looming topic was very heavy.

LIFE IS STRANGE: TRUE COLORS

The last one! Woo! If you've read this far consider me giving you a pat on the back cause good god did I write a lot about these.

True Colors follows the story of Alex Chen, a young girl who moves to Haven Springs, Colorado to live with her brother Gabe whom she hasn't seen in several years to being separated in the foster care system.

Everything seems too good to be true, and it is. After a shady event in the mountains of Haven, Gabe ends up dead in a horrific matter (not a spoiler it's in the trailer) and now Alex is in a new place with a load of strangers as she attempts to figure out how to navigate the loss of her brother.

And it wouldn't be a LiS game without a superpower, though Alex's is a little less farfetched. She's an empath, who can sense people's emotions and if they are too strong, can become overwhelmed with them.

You go through the story, learning all about Haven's (shady) past as you search for exactly why Gabe died. You become friends with the locals, and possibly even have a romantic relationship with either the rugged (and handsome) park ranger, Ryan Lucan, or the town's local nerd and radio DJ Steph (who is the same Steph that is friends with Chloe in Before the Storm-- a great call back!).

The game also had an option to have a DLC (called "Wavelengths") in which you are playing as Steph along her journey and transition from living in Arcadia Bay to living in Haven Springs and you get to actually be a radio DJ which was my fav part. It also confronts her dealing with the fallout of the events of the main game and how she processes it.

That's all about the games I have played!

THE OTHERS

So I may have a lot of experience in these games, but there are still some I know that exist that I have not played yet. Those being Twin Mirror (created by Dontnod), The Walking Dead series, and I guess now Oxenfree -- I assume it's one as well. I do own Twin Mirror but haven't played yet, and the other's are on my to-buy list!

Thanks for reading!

Sorry I go on about this! This is just scratching the surface.

#shut up mckenzie #asks #creeptistically #choice based games #until dawn #the dark pictures anthology #hidden agenda #the quarry #life is strange #life is strange before the storm #life is strange 2 #life is strange true colors #heavy rain #beyond two souls #detroid become human #long post

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shakemyassfortomriddle · 4 years ago

Text

spotify masterlist!!!

requests

UPDATED 11/28 here’s all my spotify playlists that apply to super specific scenarios, organized by folders with basic descriptions:

1. what it feels like to date:

john mulaney: what i think it would be like to be in a somewhat healthy relationship with him while he battles sobriety; soft, chill songs with some angst

bill hader: what i think it would be like to be dating him with a frowned-upon age gap; angsty, yet bad-bitch inducing songs

pete davidson: what i think it would be like to be in a toxic relationship with the king of staten island; angst, angst, and more angst

draco malfoy: what i think it would be like to be in a toxic relationship with our slytherin king; angst, angst, and more angst

andy samberg: what i think it would be like to date nice guy/soft boy samberg; super soft lovey songs mixed with the lonely island ofc

any man over 40: what i think it would be like to date one of the many members of the hot men over 40 club in general; little bit angsty but in a good way

steve harrington: stranger things vibes, pov you’re nancy wheeler

IN PROGRESS edward cullen: what i think it would be like to date a vampire bad boy that hates everyone except you

2. movies/shows:

the perks of being a wallflower plot in songs: if perks had a soundtrack it’d be this; suggestion: listen to this playlist NOT on shuffle

charlie’s mixtape: the mixtape he makes for his friends straight from the book

that 70′s show: POV you’re in the front seat of the vista cruiser (just about all the songs featured in that 70′s show handpicked by yours truly)

IN PROGRESS kinda 10 things I hate about you: kat stratford’s morning commute

IN PROGRESS the good place: what i think eleanor shellstrop was listening to in the series finale of the good place

3. mild angst:

laying in a lawn chair on the moon: songs i listen to when i miss the person i used to be

POV you’re the angsty main character: picture the soundtrack playing on a loop in rue’s head from euphoria

spiraling while driving: songs I blast in my car at 12 am with the windows down when I have a perfect view of the NYC skyline while spiraling

living in a dark academia novel: POV you’re running through a castle at dusk in a dress while searching for your lover

4. very specific hyperfixations

freaking out: based around freaks by surf curse. all have similar guitar/rock-ish vibes

TPWK: based around harry styles songs and the feeling i got when listening to golden for the first time. good enough lyrics to jam to and good enough music to have as background songs :)

5. don’t think

sing me to sleep: idk how to explain this one but i feel like it’s what’s playing on a loop in charlie’s head from perks

walking on mars: variation of my chill playlist featuring bob dylan, arctic monkeys, etc

march 21st: songs that remind me of the first day of spring

stuck in the elevator for an hour: songs you don’t have to pay attention to to know they’re good

the music in the background feels like winning the lottery: songs i listen to with my eyes closed

5. chill:

3am in an empty airport: listening to your airpods as you’re walking through an empty airport late at night thinking everyone you make eye contact with is in love with you

chaotic neutral: similar to laying in a lawn chair on the moon except now you’re on earth

chill: very basic chill songs

6. misc:

dancing in the kitchen: throwbacks, musicals and jams for dancing in the kitchen in an oversized T-shirt with a mug of wine

driving around in a very specific order: you literally need a map to navigate this. mellow indie - punk pop - 5sos/1d - pitbull - 2000s r&b - throwbacks - disney - musicals - queen - corpse - bo burnham - arctic monkeys - harry styles - doja cat - euphoria soundtrack - zayn - taylor swift

songs my air band would play: dare i say pretty self explanatory

IN PROGRESS grab me a beer from the garage: songs on a dads playlist

throwback

kid cudi to one direction pipeline: no matter what i WILL turn everything back to one direction

no THIS is the wallow: better than spotify themselves baby

👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻

-follow my spotify for more

-drop your Spotify users if you want to be mutuals!

-let me know if y’all have any requests I’m always down to make some more playlists

P.S. if you think the playlists aren’t long it’s just because i was trying to get a lot out, i will be adding to them semi-consistently

tagging people without their consent based on their response to my last post ;) @levenin-dupapillon @xoxogxmbino @epicemneat @fangirling-throughlife @imcryingbuckets @tiredlegoispansexual (did andy samberg just 4 u) @nesthadevils @hermosawellbeokay @tickety-boo-houseplant @ultimateswag4ever @awkwardprotagonist

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anotherkindofmindpod · 5 years ago

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this isn’t related to a specific episode but I’m confused about the beginning of John & Yoko’s relationship. I’ve heard so many different things about when/how it started- from she was stalking him to meeting at a gallery to Paul’s manuscripts (or pictures of Paul’s butt?!) to they were sleeping together two weeks after meeting- also varying dates on the 2 Virgins night (before or after NYC?) And was he really pining after her in India? Did he try to bring her? I trust you guys- what’s the deal?

Hello listener, thanks for the ask!

Regarding John & Yoko’s origins: some stories are inconsistent, and some things are unknowable (i.e. internal emotions), but we’ll do our best to lay out what we do know.

Yoko approached Paul first, through a contact (probably Dunbar) related to Indica Bookshop and Gallery. Since Paul was a patron, supporter and friend of Indica and was somewhat known within the art community as a rich celebrity with a growing interest in the avant-garde (music, films and art) he was an obvious choice for an artist seeking funding/exposure. Yoko was an avant-garde artist (performance, gallery and film) whose biggest claim to fame at that point was working with John Cage. This was the credential/name drop with which she approached Paul at his house in Cavendish sometime in late 1965. Paul (being Paul) invited her inside to make her pitch: she was collecting manuscripts from various composers as a birthday gift to Cage. Paul declined. (For the record, Paul has never suggested or intimated that Yoko came onto him at that first meeting, so let’s assume she didn’t and this was strictly business) The following year, in November of 1966, Indica hosted an exhibition of Yoko’s work. This is where John Lennon first met Yoko, when he was introduced to her by Indica co-owner John Dunbar.

This was Yoko’s initiation into the Beatles’ world and it should ALWAYS be told like this, FULL STOP, END OF STORY. Anyone in 2020 who tells the story any other way is a bald-faced liar and a coward.

Does this sound like an overreaction? Is Paul’s part in this story really SUCH a big deal? Let’s reverse things and imagine….

In 1965, John Lennon develops a keen interest in photography. He immerses himself in the photography world, creates a dark room in his house and brings his photo influences into the Beatles’ artwork. John also finances and helps launch a photography gallery in Weybridge.

One day, photographer Linda Eastman shows up at Kenwood to show John her portfolio and ask for one of John’s original photographs. John declines. Paul later meets Linda at her exhibition at Weybridge Gallery. 18 months later, Paul starts dating her, calls her his new partner, declares her the greatest influence in his life, and brings her to every Beatles session. Paul and Linda have a joint photography exhibit at the Weybridge Gallery in 1968, hosted by one of John’s closest friends and mentors.

Paul then loudly and repeatedly proclaims that he was the only Beatle ever interested in photography, he’s responsible for all the visual art in the Beatles oeuvre and implies that John couldn’t stimulate him anymore because he was too square and conservative to understand or appreciate photography.

Be honest and try to imagine that. No one would EVER let Paul and Linda get away with that level of bullshit, but for some reason, Jean Jackets are slavishly obedient to whatever John and Yoko say, regardless of facts.

So anyway, back to those facts...

After the meeting in November 1966, Yoko began to pursue John Lennon at his home, the studio and even Brian’s office. She constantly asked for funding and money, but was probably seeking publicity as well. There are rumors that she was also pursuing John sexually, but to our best knowledge they are unsubstantiated. In 1967, Yoko was REALLY trying hard to get her career off the ground and/or get famous; there are numerous accounts from multiple people in the Beatles circle (Hunter Davies, Michael Lindsay Hogg, Robert Fraser, Barry Miles) that Yoko was hustling nonstop at that time. So while Lennon was her main target, our impression is that she was probably just trying to make inroads with anyone who could help her become famous. Accounts consistently suggest that John intermittently found her intriguing (when he didn’t find her scary or annoying), so I imagine she kept soliciting him because that’s where she made the most progress. Anyway, her stalking is a matter of fact, corroborated by EVERYONE. Also corroborated by everyone is the fact that John began to sometimes talk to her and occasionally let her inside (the same way the Beatles treated other Apple Scruffs), starting in/around late 1967.

Tony Bramwell tells a very bizarre story about John being panicked one day in late ‘67, regretful and paranoid after giving Yoko a hand-written letter and a lock of his hair (?). A frightened John asked Tony to retrieve the items from Yoko. Considering the fact that John believed (until his death) that Yoko had magical powers, it sounds as if John asked her to make some sort of voodoo/love potion. Perhaps their early friendship began as sorceress/client (but who knows? That’s just a guess).

We know that John continued to receive tons of mail from Yoko while he was on retreat in India. According to John, he eventually began to really look forward to receiving these items. Yoko would send bizarre, artsy stuff like a maxipad with a drop of red paint in the middle. Who wouldn’t enjoy weird mail like that? :) According to John (in both 1970 AND 1980), he still only thought of Yoko as a weird artist by that point. He insists he was NOT interested in her sexually or romantically, only intellectually, and there is nothing to suggest that he was lying about that. More importantly, John was having some kind of emotional breakdown in India; he wrote and talked about feeling suicidal in Maharishi's camp. John never specified the exact cause of his breakdown, although he did later pinpoint ongoing feelings of self-hatred and worthlessness.

After returning from India, John was highly emotional, erratic, depressed, and abusing drugs and alcohol at an alarming rate. Derek Taylor recounts John taking some acid trips at his house over two weekends. During one of these weekends, John’s now-friend Yoko (who he still insists he wasn’t sexually interested in) showed up and helped “rebuild John’s ego.” In other words, Yoko threw John a life raft and helped pull him out of the darkest, bleakest depression of his life.

Then in May, after months of erratic behavior, John declared he was Jesus in an Apple board meeting (!). The following night, with Cynthia away for the weekend, John invited Yoko over (or had Mal invite her) and the two of them dropped acid, made some tapes and had sex for the first time. As far as we can tell, this information is accurate as it is corroborated by Pete Shotten (who was making the tapes with John before Yoko came over and replaced him!). Pete said in the morning John came downstairs and shocked Pete by saying Yoko was the answer to all his problems and he was so certain he’d go off and live in a tent with her. That sounds shocking until you realize John was on acid at the time (in that light, not quite as shocking). :) In any event, after that point John and Yoko became basically inseparable for the next 5 years.

There are rumors/theories that John and Yoko were already having sex for months, but so as far as we can tell these are based on nothing but speculation. We believe John’s initial interest in Yoko was intellectual and personal rather than sexual, as he contends. We think John slowly warmed to Yoko over that 18 month period; while initially he might’ve found her annoying, frightening and disturbing, eventually he began to find her quirky, intriguing and charming. We believe their relationship was founded in friendship and that Yoko’s emotional support (and her professed admiration for him as an artist) during that acid trip at Derek’s was vitally important to their bond.

Now, here’s where things get murky.

John was also later quoted as saying that in retrospect he realized he was unconsciously falling in love with her from afar whilst in India - which may or may not have been the case. It is certainly common to look back with fondness on one’s own courtship and also possible to fall in love before you realize you are in love (John described experiencing something similar in 1964) so debating this is kinda pointless and we choose not to nitpick this particular point. However, people have since used this to extrapolate that John was, as you put it, “pining for Yoko in India” which is simply not what John described. John described gradually looking forward to her wacky mail and developing a strictly platonic curiosity about her. If you are highly invested in the John & Yoko love story, it’s easy to spin this into secret “pining,” but when you consider that John was, as he put it, suicidal and going insane, it doesn’t quite make sense. What makes even less sense is why John wouldn’t immediately ask Yoko out upon returning to London in early April, especially since she was aggressively pursuing him at that point. Yoko was present for at least one of the Derek Taylor acid trips in May. Why did John wait an entire month to initiate a private moment with her?

John also said (in Lennon Remembers, I believe) that he privately considered “bringing” Yoko to India (though not as a love interest, but rather in her contemporaneous role as amusing curiosity, i.e. Magic Alex 2.0). Once again, this may or may not be true, but we have no reason to doubt him. Nevertheless, this has also been spun fannishly into “John was pining for Yoko as a girlfriend” which (again) isn’t what he said. :)

To be perfectly candid, John & Yoko’s public persona is almost entirely artificially crafted. THIS is corroborated (and detailed) by nearly everyone close to them- May Pang, Ray Connolly, the Dakota staff, etc. That doesn’t mean their love was fake, just that their relationship was much different from how they portrayed/sold it (or how fanboys like Lewisohn portray it). At the end of the day, they are just celebrities who we don’t actually know. We want things to make sense, which is why I think the “John was secretly pining for Yoko for years and his mind was obliterated by love” appeals to some people. It’s a cleaner, more familiar boy-meets-girl story.

Rumors and conspiracy theories are plentiful and can lead you down all kinds of rabbit holes (fun or infuriating, depending on your POV). The “John & Yoko were secret lovers” one makes things a bit sleazier and sexier (I believe Albert Goldman really leaned into this one!). But if you really want to consider everything, you should also consider this: Yoko’s Tarot card reader John Green insists that Yoko claims Paul was the one she wanted all along.

She told him: Paul was her first choice (as boyfriend), which is why she approached him first. She moved on to John only to make Paul jealous (!), which ultimately backfired when Paul then refused to make advances on John’s new girlfriend. According to Yoko, Paul’s sense of propriety (?!) ironically prevented him from being with Yoko (even though Yoko KNEW Paul was always in love with her)! So Yoko inadvertently got stuck with John, who she didn’t really want. Also she was convinced, in the late 70s that Paul was still in love with her and only married Linda because he was devastated he couldn’t have Yoko!

Green swears this is what Yoko told him (for the record, she also thought Mick Jagger was in love with her). Do we believe Yoko said it, that she believed it? Who knows, maybe?!? Green’s credibility is certainly questionable. But it’s no crazier than much of the nonsense in Goldman’s book (or Francie Schwartz’s), and Green is alleging to quote Yoko directly. Parts of this account do ring oddly true; Yoko does seems interested in Paul in the contemporaneous audio/footage from the late 60s. John did ask Paul not to sleep with Yoko (which Paul seemed a bit nonplussed by). John and Yoko are bizarrely convinced in the early 70s that Paul and Linda’s marriage is doomed (is it because Yoko convinced John that Paul is actually in love with her???). Many believe Yoko was jealous of John’s affection for Paul; could Yoko also be jealous of Paul’s affection and respect for John? Maybe. But this story blatantly contradicts the entire John & Yoko Myth and is so over the top weird... there’s just no room in our understanding for this alternate reality where Paul and Yoko are the true star-crossed lovers :)

The point is that you can’t believe ALL the theories and rumors because they often directly contradict each other. Sometimes you just have to use your own best judgment. We hope this was helpful and that we didn’t just confuse you further. Thanks again for writing in! -Phoebe and the crew

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mirkwoodshewolf · 5 years ago

Text

Retrieved you a future boyfriend, husband and family; John Deacon x reader

*Author’s note*

Hey guys well I’ve seen this prompt in various forms of when there’s a doggy matchmaker but what about seeing it through the dog’s perspective? Based off the very sad movie “A Dog’s purpose” (I also did a Poe Dameron fic kinda similar to this) so I hope everyone enjoys this fic but BE PREPARED FOR THE SADNESS TOWARDS THE END. But until then I give you guys intense fluff and goodness. Also pic does NOT belong to me credit goes to the owner and just seeing these pics with Deacy and the dog also helped inspire this fic.

Taglist:

@psychosupernatural

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*Aug. 1975 Ridge Farm studios*

It started off like any other day. I woke up to the sound of the rooster’s crow and stretched myself out letting out a loud yawn. I then walked up the bed and whimpered as I pawed at my mum to get up. That’s my mum, (y/n). Her and her parents own this lovely recording studio that they call Ridge Farm studios, my name’s Amber and I’m a golden retriever.

She soon stirred and woke up, my tail wagged as I let out a bark and she soon shot up and removed that strange mask that was over her eyes before she saw me.

“Oh, good morning Amber.” She said as she rubbed my neck and brought me close. I loved my mum so much, she rescued me from the orphanage and picked me out of my entire litter of 9 brothers and sisters. I had thought that I’d never get a new home but when (y/n) came along, she immediately picked me up and took me home, and so for the past 2 years, this has been my home.

It’s a privilege and a great experience being on a farm. You get wide open spaces, fresh air, plenty of new things to explore, and so many different animals to bother and play with. And with mum, she makes it all the more fun and special.

I waited for her to finish getting herself cleaned up and changing into her new fur patterns (clothes) and we went downstairs to see her parents running around cleaning the place. Lately all three of them I’ve noticed have been running around like the chickens I sometimes chase outside cleaning and pushing me off the couches, forbidding me from sitting on my thrones.

“Oh (y/n) thank god you’re up. Listen can you please run to the market and pick up a few things? I forgot to make a store run yesterday due to getting the studio all prepared for the boys.”

“No problem mum, what time did they say they would be here?”

“Well your uncle Shaun said they’d be here by around 2, maybe 3.” Her father answered.

“Okay well I’ll try to be back as fast as I can, c’mon Amber.” Yeah car ride! I love going on car rides! I raced out and jumped up against the car barking happily as my tail wagged. “Amber down!” I listened to her and she opened the door and I immediately jumped right in and she closed the door behind me.

She got into the driver seat and the car soon started and as soon as we drove out away from the house, I stuck my head out of the window to feel the rush of the wind blow through my fur. Ohh that always felt nice, I sometimes wish mum would do it with me, it’s always so nice to feel the wing through your fur and the flies in your teeth, yum.

We soon reached the marketplace and I stayed close beside my mum as she looked down at a piece of paper and muttered to herself. We picked all the food and I wish I could eat some of it, especially the chicken but she wouldn’t let me touch any of the stuff.

Of course when she would pick up the green stuff, I almost felt like throwing up. Why do humans eat that stuff anyway? It stinks, it’s green and its tasteless, so why even eat it? We spent a long time at the market till we were finally done and soon we were back in the car heading back home.

But before we came back up on the driveway, I smelled something. Five unfamiliar scents were in our house. I also took notice of another car that didn’t belong to either mum or grandmum or granddad. My mum parked the car and I could smell that she was scared.

“Oh no, they’re early. Oh I hope mum and dad aren’t freaking out.” She shut the car off and she turned to me and said. “Okay Amber, now you remember the band members I told you who were coming, well I need you to be on your best behavior. We—didn’t really tell them we had a dog here.”

Mum you don’t have to worry, I’ll be good, cause I’m always a good girl. I let out a couple of barks and she smiled and rubbed my head muttering.

“Good girl.” We both left the car and she grabbed a couple of the grocery bags but as she took a couple of steps, I saw her stop. Her scent changed from calm to a sorta sweaty smell, she also had this dazed look in her eyes as they were locked onto something.

I looked ahead and saw two young boys that I had never seen before. One of them kinda looked like me with the long blonde hair, while the other one had the same length of hair as my twin but it was dark brown. I’ve never smelt my mum like this before as she just stayed there and became a little nervous.

I looked a little closer and saw that it was the long brown haired boy that she was looking at. Wonder if that boy had anything to do with it? I raced up towards him, I could hear my mum calling out ordering me to stop but I didn’t listen because I wanted to know just what he had that made my mum smell this way.

So I greeted him the way we dogs always greet one another. I heard him cry out as he turned.

“Bloody hell!”

“I am so sorry. That—that was my dog I swear I-I would never do that…..” my mum said nervously as she tugged me back by my collar trying to get me away from the brown furred boy. The two men laughed softly and the brown furred man answered.

“Well, maybe you could teach your dog some proper manners.”

“Believe me I’ve tried she just—doesn’t listen to me.” Mum! I turned my head grunted embarrassingly at her.

“Really? Wow did you hear what she said about you? You look pretty smart to me.” my twin spoke up as he knelt down in front of me and began rubbing and petting along my face and neck.

Wow, he’s got a pretty good touch. He rubbed scratches along my head and soon the brown furred boy knelt down and he began petting me. He also had a good touch too, maybe even better than my twin did.

“Such intelligent eyes. And quite beautiful too.” Aww thank you. “What’s your name?”

“Amber, her name’s Amber.” My mum answered.

“Hello there Amber.” My twin spoke up.

“Well you seem like a good girl Amber.” The brown furred man spoke up.

“Again I’d like to apologize for what just happened. Normally she never runs at guests and—”

“It’s fine. In fact I’d kinda like to know the name of her mum, if that’s alright with you.” Huh, now they both had a sweaty smell.

“(Y/n), (y/n) (l/n). You probably already met my parents.”

“Ahh yes, well it’s also a pleasure to meet their beautiful daughter.” My twin spoke up with a scent of flirtation on him. “Roger Taylor, drummer of this rag-tag band.” They both shook hands and that’s when the brown furred man introduced himself.

“John Deacon born on August 19th, 1951.” He groaned as he hid his face and I could hear my mum softly giggle while my twin Roger just couldn’t help but laugh hysterically.

“I think he meant to say Bass player of our band.”

“Ahh, well John Deacon born on August 19th, 1951, thought I might let you know I’ve always found bass players the most fascinating members of bands.”

“Y-you do?” my mum nodded. Before anything else could be spoken an eerie, buzzing voice called out.

“Roger! John!” Soon coming out of the studio was a man with what looked like a fuzzy caterpillar across his face. He walked up towards us and already I didn’t like his scent. He just smelt of ill intentions and it made me on edge. “What in the world is taking you so—good lord what is that beast?” Uhh excuse me? Was he talking to me just now?

“I’m sorry?” my mum snapped.

“We don’t allow strays into this location, get it out of here before I call the pound. And you girl, will you kindly go make yourself useful and help with the equipment?”

“Uhh first of all you don’t talk to my dog like that. Second of all I’m no one’s servant girl or housemaid. And third…..”

“Paul, what is taking so long out there?” Soon two more men came out from the studio and walked up toward us. One had black fur up to his shoulders and he smelt like sunshine and fun, the other one was really tall and sorta looked like Francine the poodle who lived in town. He had a mellow scent which was relaxing.

“Oh Freddie, I was just telling the girl here about the rules we have here about strays.”

“Paul don’t you remember the pictures the lovely couple showed us? This must be their lovely daughter they were telling us about, please tell me you are darling?” the black furred man spoke out.

“Yeah, I’m (y/n).”

“Ah-ha I knew it! Though those photographs do you no justice at all darling, you are too beautiful for the camera.” Oh I liked this guy; he compliments my mum a lot.

“And this must be your dog?” asked the poodle man.

“Yep this is my lovely girl Amber, she—she’s already met two of your other band members.”

“Basically sticking her nose right up Deacy’s arse.” My twin spoke which caused John to slap him over the head.

“Well she sure is pretty, aren’t you Amber darling?” The black furred man gave me a rub to my neck and I felt like I was in heaven.

Never have I ever been given this much attention by so many people, I was gonna like these four boys.

“She sure is beautiful, her coat is even so shiny. How old is she?” asked the poodle man.

“She just turned 2 last month.”

“Ohh big girl huh?” the black furred man smiled as he kept petting me. I took notice that he had an overbite with his fangs but he still had a bright smile that almost if not was even brighter than the sun. “Ohh she’s a sweet girl, aren’t you darling?” he placed a kiss to my forehead before standing up and I felt the poodle man stroked through my fur now for a brief moment before the black furred man said to caterpillar guy known as Paul. “Well go on Paul, make it up to her for insulting her and her beautiful mum.”

“You’re right Freddie I—I didn’t know what I was thinking. Terribly sorry miss, and to you to sweet—” as he reached out to pet me, I snared and snapped at his hand just barely missing it making him jump back as I lowly growled at him.

“Good doggie couldn’t have said it better myself.” Roger whispered. “So Prenter, why the big hurry?”

“We’re on a strict deadline, we’re lucky that Foster’s giving us a brief extension on the album so we must get to word as soon as possible.” Paul then trudged off.

I didn’t like him. Not one bit, and I hope he never insults my mum, me or any of these boys or does anything to harm them.

“Well I’ve kept you all distracted long enough; I should get these groceries in the house.” Mum said.

“Here why—why don’t I help you?” John offered.

“Oh I can’t ask that of you.”

“You’re not asking, I’m offering. Plus it can count as payment for your dog sniffing where she wasn’t allowed to sniff.” I looked up at mum and she looked down at me. I softly grunted and she said.

“Okay, if it’s okay with your friends for letting me steal you for a bit.”

“Of course it is, you two kids go off and have fun. But be sure to use protection!”

“Fred!” John hissed out before the three of them headed to the studio while mum, John and I walked towards the car.

As we gathered up the groceries, mum said as she gathered some bags.

“You know Amber can actually take a bag of groceries into the kitchen.”

“You’re joking.”

“No, no I trained her to do that. Don’t believe me? Hold a bag to her and say kitchen.” It was then I saw John hold up a bag and I could smell the bag of apples as well as a carton of whip cream.

“Kitchen.” Instantly knowing the command, I took the handles into my mouth and trotted towards the kitchen. As the two of them walked in, I set the bag down and mum patted my head telling me I was a good girl. “I’ll say I’m impressed. Never did I think dogs could do that.”

“Some can’t just with retrievers they’re really easy to train, once you start them at an early age.” As the two of them put the food away, I sat down in my bed in the corner of the kitchen and couldn’t help but notice that the sweaty smell between the two of them got stronger.

“So will I—see you around?” John asked.

“Yeah.” Mum muttered. John nodded and began to walk away but then my mum stopped him by saying, “Hey!” he immediately turned around and he smelled hopeful about something. “If you ever find yourself wanting a break, Amber and I would…..love to take you out to the lake or show you around town.”

“I’d like that, though be prepared it may just be later tonight that I might take you up on that offer.” Mum softly giggled and soon John left but not without giving me a gently pat. It was then my mum sighed in a strange way as she slide down against the wall. I walked up to her and she said as she cupped underneath my neck.

“Ohh Amber, I—I think I’ve just been struck by cupid’s arrow.” I tilted my head at her grunting softly. I sniffed her face and gently licked her cheek before placing myself over her lap and the two of us just sat there in the kitchen.

As the weeks passed, we would either get to listen to the boys who I learned their band name was Queen; play their music. I’ve heard mum play various other songs whether on her device that she calls a record player or in the car but Queen’s music was unlike anything my ears had ever heard.

I found myself howling along to some of their songs as they would record their songs. Paul of course didn’t like it but John, Roger, Brian and Freddie didn’t mind it at all, in fact they saw it amusing, to which then Fred called me the ‘doggy approved’ critic.

And when they would all find the time to get away from work, they spent it playing with me and mum. We’d go out onto the tennis court, out in the fields to play fetch or take pictures so that they would have some memories of their recording (according to Brian since he was always the one with a camera in hand), or we’d swim at the lake or in the pool, but I honestly preferred the lake, since John would always throw my favorite ball into it for me to fetch it.

I’ve also noticed that mum and John have been spending a lot of time together. He would come along on drives with us, he’d go to the lake with us, he’d even stay out and gaze up at the stars with us. And every time they spent together; I’ve noticed their sweaty scents would grow stronger. One night while gazing under the stars, I could sense that John was feeling extremely nervous.

I crawled up to him and gave him a comforting nudge and he soon placed his hand on top of my head, gently massaging my neck as mum said.

“Are you okay Deacy?”

“Hmm oh yeah, yeah I’m fine I—well I guess there has been something on my mind lately.”

“What is it?” I looked up between the two of them and it was then John said.

“Well I was wondering if uhh…..you’re not really doing anything tomorrow night, maybe you’d uhh—umm that is if you’d like to would you…..”

“Are you—trying to ask me out on a date?” my mum asked. John’s face went as red as an apple as he looked down. No, no you need to keep looking at her. I stood up and nudged behind his back which knocked him into my mum and the two of them went down to the ground, with John on top of my mum.

“Oh god I-I-I-I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to……”

“I know just who it was that really did it Deacy.” I sat down and simply tilted my head trying to look cute. The two of them got up and that’s when mum said. “And to answer your question, yes. Meet me in the living room at 8?”

“Yeah. Yes of course I’ll—see you then.” It was then my mum had her first real date.

Humans were so complex; like last night my mum answered John or I guess I should call him Deacy since she calls him that now, with such ease but now here she was tossing stuff out of her closet muttering to herself.

“Too revealing, too stuffy, too dressy. Ugh Amber I don’t know what to where, please help me!” I hoped off of her bed and went into the closet and began sniffing around. Ohh I don’t know why she hasn’t worn this yet.

I took the bottom of the shirt and she grabbed it and took it off the strange dinner triangle (hanger).

“Huh this?” She placed it over herself and she continued, “Don’t you think it’s kinda see-through?” I went back into the closet and suddenly found something else and I dragged it out from the corner of the closet and held it out to her, “What’s this? Oh. Oh that’s perfect, this is perfect, thank you Amber! Good girl Amber!” She ruffled through my fur and kissed my head and stood up and got dressed.

Mum looked at herself in the mirror as she now applied the stuff she calls ‘makeup’ on her face and as she went to pick up the dreaded smell bottle I barked at her warningly.

“No perfume?” I shook my head in disgust. “Okay, no perfume.” She set it back down then she fully stood up and said, “Well girl, what do you think?” My tail wagged and I let out a happy bark. “Aww thank girl,” she sat down on the bed beside me and she suddenly became sad. “Amber—can I tell you something?” I grunted and mum continued, “I’m really nervous about this date, I mean—I think I’m falling in love with John and it…..seems like he loves me too. But what if I make a complete fool of myself? I mean he’s a rock star and I’m just—me. A simple farm girl.” I whimpered and set my head on her lap.

No you won’t mum. I can smell that he likes you, and I wouldn’t let you go near him if he didn’t smell of good intentions. You’re the bravest girl I know, he’ll like you the way you like him. And maybe if it all works out, I’ll finally have a dad.

“It’s almost 8, c’mon girl.” I hopped off and followed behind her. We walked down the stairs and the second Deacy saw my mum, his sweaty smell intensified.

“Wow.” I heard him whisper.

“Is it too much?”

“No, no. You look—be-beautiful.” Mum’s sweaty smell also intensified and she said.

“You can thank Amber here for my attire for tonight.” He knelt down in front of me and scratched and rubbed my head as he said.

“You are quite the expert, maybe you could give Fred some tips.”

“My sense of style is fabulous darling, there’s nothing wrong with it!” Freddie’s voice soon proclaimed out. I turned to see him, Roger and Brian all standing there.

“So you know the rules, have her back by midnight, no shagging in my car but if you do use protection.”

“Roger!” Both mum and Deacy exclaimed as they both got red in the face.

“And Deacy darling, if you do anything to break this girl’s heart you’re kicked out of the band.”

“No worries Fred,”

“God you lot are worse than my dad. The only thing your missing is a shotgun.”

“Ohh where’s that at?” Roger said.

“Rog there’s no need for that.” Brian spoke up. “Just have a good time, the both of you and be safe.”

“Well with only so few things to do in this town, there’s not a whole lot of trouble to be made. The only big thing that happened here was the multiple robberies and break-ins. And they weren’t even armed.”

“But anyway, have fun you two.” As they walked out of the door, I went to follow but mum stopped me before I got out the front door.

“No Amber, stay.” Stay? But we’ve always gone on outings together. The three of us.

“Don’t worry we’ll make sure to keep her company, maybe even run some song by her on what she thinks of them.” Roger spoke up as he came and held me back.

“I’ll be back soon girl, and I’ll fill you in on everything when we get back. I love you.” Mum kissed my forehead and soon her and Deacy went into the car. I whimpered as I was pulled back and the front door shut. I got up on my hindlegs and watched as they drove off.

Aww, but I wanted to go with them. It’s always more fun whenever I’m around. Why didn’t they want me with them?

“Don’t worry Amber dear, they’ll be back soon. Hey, does someone want dinner?” Food, did I just hear food? I let out a bark and headed straight for the kitchen with the rest of the boys coming behind me.

Deacy and mum were gone a really long time. Everyone’s pretty much gone to sleep, except me. I waited and stared out the window from my mum’s room that looked out into the front yard hoping that they would come back.

Then I saw the headlights and my tail wagged as I raced down the stairs and looked out through the curtains of the living room to see Deacy and mum standing together. I then raced over to the front door and peeked out so that they wouldn’t see me as I heard Deacy say.

“I really had a wonderful time tonight.”

“Me too, thank you so much Deacy. This has been—literally the best summer I’ve ever had.” I tilted my head as I saw Deacy tuck in a piece of my mum’s fur before the two of them leaned close together.

Until they finally met and their lips touched together. I don’t know what they were doing exactly but it made me happy as I smiled and my tail wagged.

When I saw them separate I quickly raced upstairs so that they wouldn’t know that I was watching. I hopped into mum’s bed and pretended to be asleep. I could hear their whispers coming up towards the room and that’s when my mum said.

“Goodnight, my handsome bass player.”

“Sleep well my farm girl.” I heard them do the thing again before I heard the door softly close. I decided to take a peek and I saw my mum slide down against the door and she smelled happy.

Really happy.

Never have I seen her smile that widely before and her scent was mixed with Deacy’s scent, and it suited her when their smells were together.

From that moment on, I knew that Deacy was a member of our pack.

As the days went on, the boys continued to work nonstop but when the evening came, Deacy and mum spent a lot of time together. Sometimes we’d just stay out in the backyard looking up at the stars having a picnic, or we would go on nightly drives, this time I managed to convince them to bring me along.

We would howl together in the car as the music would play on the radio. But I’ve noticed that every time they were together, mum and Deacy would wrestle with their lips and lick each other. We’re they fighting over food or something? Maybe Deacy was hiding something in his mouth? Let me check.

I hopped over to the backseat and leaned over to the front as I nudged myself between them and began sniffing Deacy and licked over his face. The two of them laughed but I smelt nothing. Nope, nothing in there.

“What is going on?” Deacy laughed.

“Think she’s jealous.” Mum said. But of course no matter how much mum looked, there was never anything in Deacy’s mouth. And she looked—a lot.

One day as the sun was setting over the horizon, I was walking through the fields and found the haystack and decided to jump into it and roll around in it. Ahh I’ve always loved the feel and smell of hay. The way it would tickle my nose, I let out a sneeze as I shook myself. It was then I heard mum and Deacy talking. I peeked over but something was different; usually when they were together there nothing but happiness and sweaty smells, now all I could sense was sadness.

Why were they sad? I watched as mum hugged Deacy and he hugged her back. Maybe I could cheer them up. I hopped over the hay and trotted up to them. I let out a bark and they turned to me and it was then I began to try and chase my tail. Grunting as I spun around until I finally managed to catch it.

The two of them smiled and softly laughed. I released my tail and walked up towards them and lifted my paw up. Don’t be sad anymore, please. Be happy, you two are together, and it’ll always be that way.

The next morning, I watched as the boys were packing up the cars. All their personal equipment was being packed away as well as their luggage. Where were they going? What’s going on? Nobody ever tells me anything.

“We wish to thank you again for allowing us to finish the album here Mr. and Mrs. (l/n).” Brian spoke up.

“Anytime boys, it’s been wonderful having you here with us.” Grandmum said.

“And anytime you need a break from the city, I know we’d be happy to have you four here again.” Grandad said.

“Much obliged my dears.” Freddie said. I whimpered as I walked up to them. “And you, you fabulous dog. Probably the only dog I’ll ever love, you keep being your fabulous self.” Freddie said as he stroked through my fur.

“C’mon boys we need to get going. Foster’s waiting to hear the album.” Bad man Paul spoke up. Brian walked up to me now and gently stroked through my fur and said.

“It was lovely to meet you Amber, take care of things here.” Roger then knelt down and he cupped my face.

“You keep being a clever girl, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.” I grunted and licked my twin goodbye. He placed a kiss to my head before standing up and then Deacy came up.

“Look after your mum for me, okay?” He smelt sad again. Why was he still sad? I thought I fixed it last night. He couldn’t even look at my mum and she couldn’t do the same. It was then the boys got into the cars and drove off.

Grandmum and granddad all waved goodbye, while mum was very sad. I even heard her sniffle, I looked up and saw water coming down her face. He can’t leave now, mum’s sad. I tugged but mum held me back and said.

“No Amber, stay.” Stay? But you’re sad. Dad can help you. I got myself free and I heard my mum call out my name but only one thing was circling through my mind.

Dad needed to go back and hug and lick mum again. Wait dad come back!

I raced after the cars hoping that if they saw me, dad would come out and take me home, then he and mum can be together and happy again. I raced through the field and onto the road but I knew I wouldn’t catch up with them at this rate.

Then I decided I could probably cut them off. I raced through the wheat fields bounding up and down hoping to still see them. Racing past goats, cows and horses of neighboring farms until finally I came back onto green grass again seeing the car insight. Remembering which one dad and went into, I raced towards that one and by luck the window was actually rolled down.

His car came to a stop and I took my chance of leaping through the window till finally I was in the car. I walked up to dad’s face panting heavily, boy you sure did give me a run of my life dad.

“Amber are you crazy?” But maybe not—drive so far next time.

“I can’t believe she actually ran all the way here. You’re a crazy girl aren’t you Amber?” I heard Roger’s voice say as he scratched my back. Dad, mum needs you and you need her. Go back to her, please. He cupped my face and I could see water fill his eyes as he leaned up against me.

“You need to go back Amber; your mum needs you.” I whimpered. Yes but she needs you too dad. “Life on the road is no place for a dog.” I lifted my paw and lightly pawed at him whimpering. He hugged me and whispered in my ear. “I love you girl,” I felt him kiss me before he ordered me. “Home, now!” He opened the door and I got out and he closed to door before the car took off again.

As I’ve said humans are so complicated. They do things that we dogs just can’t understand, like leave. I stayed there along the road and watched with a broken heart as dad drove away. Finally not wanting to disobey him, I walked back home.

Mum and dad were meant to be together. But if they weren’t together, then what was the point of life? Maybe the point was to not go looking for it, I think that’s why the term I’ve heard grandad say ‘life’s not fair’ makes much more sense now.

Things changed a lot since the boys left. Mum decided to move into the city so she packed up and took me along with her. Apparently she got a job offer in the city of London as something called a ‘music teacher’.

It’s been two years since we’ve lived in the city and it was definitely a huge adjustment, especially to me. Loud noises, more dogs than I’ve ever seen in my whole life, smells that not even back home had to offer, and most of it really stunk. But mum seemed to be happy, and if she was happy then I was happy.

She never really dated anyone, not after—well sometimes its even hard to hear their music sometimes, but even through the tears, she just couldn’t bring herself to stop listening to them, and neither could I. One day as I was lying on her bed as she was grading some papers, I heard her sigh heavily and she said.

“You know what I’m thinking?” Ice cream. “This is crazy but sometimes I think I know what you’re thinking.” Ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream. “Ahh Amber I’ve been cooped up here for too long grading secondary school papers, you wanna go get some ice cream?” I grunted happily. Mum you read my mind.

We were now out in the city going by our favorite ice cream shop, she got her favorite flavor (f/c) and I got me a vanilla cup. As we were now sitting in the park eating our ice cream, well I was more or less licking whatever was left in the cup. As we sat there with our ice cream, suddenly something caught my nose.

I sniffed the air and it was then I recognized it. That familiar masculine scent mixed in with toast and cheese. Could it be? I took off running as fast as I could through the park. Mum tailing behind me calling my name. I tracked the scent down until I found him just sitting there underneath a tree right by the lake where I usually chase the ducks.

He had his bass guitar in his lap and my tail wagged furiously. I let out a bark and raced toward him before tackling him down to the ground and licking all over his face whimpering happily.

It was dad. I found him! I found him, he was back at last!

He pulled me back and got a good look at me before saying.

“A-Amber?” I barked happily. Dad’s fur was shorter than when I last saw him but I knew those eyes and that smile anywhere. I barked and licked all over his face again, my tail wagging as I heard mum say my name. I looked up and got off of dad and barked happily at her as I looked between the two of them.

“D-Deacy?”

“(Y/n).” mum and dad looked at each other. He stood up and the two just stared at each other some more as they stood face to face, that was before they hugged each other.

Maybe now they would patch whatever it was that happened between them and they can be together again, especially now since we lived in the same territory.

We invited John to our home and the two of them talked over a cup of tea while I listened in from the kitchen.

“How have you been?” dad asked mum.

“It’s been good.”

“How—how long have you been in London?”

“I actually moved here about a month after you guys left. I’m currently working as a music teacher at a school nearby.”

“Is it good? Do you enjoy it?”

“It pays the bills, one thing I never will get about the city is why everything must be so expensive?”

“Can’t argue with that. When we were first starting off, Freddie actually gave away three months wages on our shared house just to record one album. It was a struggle to make a living those first several months.”

“But low and behold you guys slowly rose to the top. And you still are, even after the ‘A night at the opera album’.”

“You—still keep in touch with our music?”

“I’ve never stopped.”

“Even after—”

“Surprisingly yes. I mean it was hard don’t get me wrong, but we both agreed that it just wouldn’t work between us. The distance was just too much to bear.”

“Well…..what about now?” Yes, yes please tell him mum. You still love him I’ve smelled it on you for years.

“But what about Queen? You guys are about to go on another tour aren’t you? I-I couldn’t hold you back.”

“You wouldn’t be holding us back, nor me. Ever since that day when I left, I’ve never felt so heartbroken in my life. I was stupid for letting you go. But if you….if you’ve moved on I understand and…..” I heard dad stop talking so I decided to peek out from the door and that’s when I saw mom and dad softly licking each other like they used to do together.

I watched as dad’s arms went around mom’s waist and she wrapped her arms around his shoulders bringing him closer.

Finally.

From that moment on, mum and dad spent every moment together. We would go on walks or he would take us to a brand new studio and when we saw the rest of Queen again, I was happy to get all the pets and scratches. Except for Brian, Freddie and Roger’s fur was also cut too but it seemed to suit them.

It was great being back with them once again, and I was extremely happy that mum and dad were back together again. And it wasn’t long before we slept together. Of course mum and I missed dad whenever he had to leave to go on tour with the guys, but every time he’d come back he always brought something back for us.

Never did I think I would get so many new toys in my life. And they weren’t just from dad, they also came from Roger and Freddie as well. One day in the early morning before the sun even rose in the sky, I felt something being attached to my collar. I opened my eyes and saw dad.

“Go back to sleep girl, it’s only me.” I grunted before lying my head back down on the bed. I felt dad softly stroke my head as he whispered, “When your mum wakes up, show her your collar. You’re part of a very special surprise for her.” A surprise for mum? That sounds like fun, I hope the surprise is peanut butter. I love peanut butter. I then fell back asleep after hearing the front door close.

When morning finally came and I heard footsteps coming down the stairs, I woke up to see mum coming down. She went over to the kitchen and I heard her pour out my breakfast, immediately waking up I raced over and began chowing down.

“Boy someone’s a hungry girl today.” While eating my breakfast, something kept buzzing around in my mind, and I could feel something poking around my collar and I couldn’t see nor get it. I barked at my mum who came up to me and said, “What is—well how did this get in your collar girl?” she took a piece of paper out and unfolded it and a smile instantly came on her face.

I tilted my head at her before going back to eating and that’s when she said.

“Well, hope you have a full belly girl, cause it looks like we’re gonna be busy running around town for the rest of the day.” Huh? We’re going on a car ride. Alright, where are we going?

We were soon driving around town; mum would tell me to find notes that looked like the one on my collar. And thanks to dad’s scent, I was able to find them. We went to places like the park, the diner where they first had their date in the city, then we went to the recording studio, then a concert hall where Queen had just performed at, the very first Queen concert mum got to do it, I wish I could’ve watched but it was too loud for me so I just stayed in the dressing room.

Now we were on our way to our final destination and boy was it a far one too. It was then I was hit with the familiar smells of home. We were going home. Could this be where our final surprise for mum was at? Finally by the time it was sunset, we arrived home.

Mum turned the car off and standing outside was grandmum and granddad. Mum opened the door and I raced over to greet them after not seeing them for what felt like forever.

“Mum, dad.” She hugged her parents and asked, “So do you have any idea what’s going on?”

“Well we promised not to spoil anything, but just head in the house and you’ll see what all this is about.” Grandmum said.

“Alright c’mon Amber.” We raced on inside and the first thing that hit me was the smell of flowers. Orchids to be exact, mum’s favorite. We both saw batches upon batches or orchid petals scattered in some sort of trail. I went on ahead and sniffed it leading us to the backyard where there was suddenly light, but it wasn’t daytime, it just turned dark.

It was then I realized they were lanterns, as we walked on ahead I soon smelled the guys, then I saw them. I raced on ahead and went up to dad who petted my head and he said.

“Good job girl, you brought her here at last.”

“What’s all this Deacy?”

“Just a little something special for you darling, please take a seat you and Amber.” Mum soon sat down on a block of hay and she called me over and I trotted over to her and sat down beside her as she wrapped her hands around me, but I knew that I wanted to stay and watch what was happening.

The boys then began playing and soon a song came up and I recognized this tune. I barked out happily knowing this was my favorite song, because Dad said that he had written this already and it was for the album they were recording when we first met them. I think he said he called it, “You’re my best friend”.

The boys played in beautiful harmony and of course it was Freddie’s voice that stole the song, but of course I couldn’t take my eyes off of dad, and neither could mum. I would look up at her and she was smiling widely from ear to ear and she would occasionally stroke through my fur. I also took notice that dad didn’t take his eyes off of mum either as he played.

Once the song was over I let out a series of barks and my mum and grandparents clapped and it was then dad came up to mum and he took her hands in his. Huh he also had that sweaty smell again, and it was then he spoke.

“(Y/n), even though we’ve spent such a short time together the first time around I knew I never wanted to be apart from you again. And just nine months ago when Amber found me again in the park, it felt like we got the second chance. So—I ask of you, (Y/n) (m/n) (l/n),” I then saw him take out a box and opening it I saw something shiny and I heard my mum gasp as dad continued, “Will you marry me my darling?”

“Oh John! Yes! Yes!” I watched as mum and dad tackled each other and once again wrestled and licked each other’s. My tail wagged as I sensed nothing but pure joy from the both of them and I let out a series of excited barks as everyone clapped.

Their mating ceremony was beautiful and I got to actually carry my mum’s tail down the aisle. She looked beautiful and dad looked handsome too, they danced, cuddled, and couldn’t stop wrestling each other’s lips. Then they left somewhere for what the humans call a ‘honey-moon.’ Were they going to get honey on the moon? If they do they should bring some back, I’ve tried honey here so I want to make sure if honey on the moon tastes any different.

I sure did miss them when they were away, but at least Brian, Roger and Freddie came to check up on me so I still at least had some company, which I always enjoyed.

After about a year of them being mates, we were cuddled up together on the bed. Dad had just came back from a long day’s recording their newest album and soon another tour would be happening, as we all lay there, my head was on top of mum’s stomach. Lately I’ve been hearing this strange rumbling sound in her stomach.

“Deacy, there’s something I need to tell you….”

Nine months later, after dad had come back from tour mum had a baby. Currently the two of them were hovering over it in its bed.

“Is he breathing alright?”

“He’s fine Deacy, just let him sleep.”

“Maybe we should wake him up, just to be sure.” As the two of them whispered to each other, I merely lay down there. I don’t understand why they got a baby. It took all their attention from me. That was until the day they finally allowed me to meet him, I think they called him Robert. It was then with one sniff I had a new mission.

To protect Robert at all cost.

Couple years later they got more babies, seemed strange that they kept having babies so quickly but my younger brothers and new baby sister at the time were lucky, because we had the best parents in the world.

As the kids got older, I had to live my life on the run, mostly from the boys as they wanted me to dress up in clothes that belonged to my younger sister. With no chance of fighting them off, I just let them do what they wanted to whether it was putting sunglasses over me, a tutu around my waist or a crown on my head.

But I guess as long as they were happy, I was happy. And if I’m being completely honest, I liked having all the attention. Especially when we got to run around the house and play tag or fetch. Of course mum would tell us to either stop or go outside when it came to playing fetch.

Time moved slower, which was a good thing because I didn’t feel like running anymore, I didn’t feel like playing as much as I used to. Even when the boys tried to get me to fetch my favorite ball, I never once moved or got up. All I wanted was to just lay down.

I was also in pain, all the time. I don’t know why I was hurting but I was. I saw mum come into the kitchen and she said softly.

“Hey, there’s my best girl.” My breathing was labored now and has been for a while. She knelt down in front of me and my food bowl as she said, “Amber, you okay?” I could barely keep my eyes open any longer as I let out a weak whimper.

The next thing I knew I was being put in the car.

When I came around, I saw mom standing over me with tears falling down her face and voices were muffled as I heard my doctor say.

“So, let’s see what we can find here?” Thank goodness he didn’t give me a shot this time.

“She’s uhh…..she’s mostly been lying around the house lately; she never wants to run around with the kids. She barely walks or hardly eats. Her breathing’s been labored and…..her eyes just don’t seem to look right.” I heard my mum say. She sounded so sad, but I was too tired to try and cheer her up. “Doctor what can we do for her?”

“Well I can run some tests but I think I might have a diagnoses already. I can feel this lump in her side and I’ve felt this with many other golden retrievers I’ve dealt with, and I—I’m afraid it’s not good news. I’m afraid she might have a tumor.” I heard my mum gasp and sniffle. Faintly through the light that was shining down on me, I could see her hold her hand to her mouth as she was trembling.

“Can…..can I please use your phone doctor?”

“Of course Mrs. Deacon, it’s just over there.” I saw her leave and I could hear her voice very faintly.

“Deacy,” dad? Are you here? “Deacy it’s…..it’s Amber.” I can’t smell you…..where are you, dad? Soon my vision went black.

“Amber.” When I opened my eyes, there he was. Dad, you’re here.

“Hey there Amber darling.” Freddie?

“You clever girl.” Roger.

“Didn’t think you’d leave us without a proper goodbye, huh?” Brian. They were all here. And I could tell they were all sad, ohh I didn’t want them to be sad.

“Oh our royal queen, our best girl.” Dad leaned his head against me and I could feel the tears fall into my fur. Mum sat beside him and she placed her hand over my paw and stroked it.

“Oh Amber, Amber, my beautiful, beautiful baby girl.”

“It’s what’s best for her, she won’t suffer anymore.” I heard the doctor say. Both mum and dad with tears running down their faces, their presences filled with nothing but sadness looked down at me. I didn’t want to leave them like this, but mum said.

“You’re a good girl Amber. You’ve always been a good girl.”

“Don’t worry, she’ll just feel a little prick in her neck, and then the pain will go away.” Then the last thing I saw before my vision went black for the final time was my pack surrounding me.

*My POV*

Amber Deacon died on August 9th, 1986 at the old age of 13 years old. Deacy and I had to tell the unfortunate news to the kids since they were visiting my mum and dad for the summer. I was thankful to get a hold of Deacon after their last concert and amazingly he and the guys had got to say their final farewells to a beloved dog.

We buried her in the backyard and as memory of her I kept her collar and leash with embroider tags that I got made for her when we first moved to the city right by my bed stand.

Losing my best friend was the most gut wrenching thing I ever had to go through. I was depressed for weeks on end, I couldn’t stop crying and I’d even cry myself to sleep most nights. I would most of the time spend my days out by her grave and just sit there for hours and hours in rain or sun.

*3rd Person POV*

The Deacon children Robert, Michael, Laura and Joshua all stared out at their mum and Robert said.

“I wish there was a way to cheer mum up.”

“Why did Amber have to die?” said Laura sadly.

“That’s just life my darlings.” John spoke up. The kids turned to their dad and as he sat down at one of the kitchen chairs, he told them to come over. They all gathered around their dad and he said, “It’s all just part of life Laura my love, though we wish she could still be here she—she was just very sick and hurting. You wouldn’t want her to still be alive and in pain do you?”

“No, not if she was hurting.” She answered her dad as she leaned up against his chest.

“She was a good doggy.” Joshua spoke up.

“Took the words right out of my mouth Joshua.” He softly scoffed a chuckle before saying, “Did I ever tell you kids how your mum and I met?”

“Yeah, you met her when you and uncles Freddie, Brian and Roger went to record your night at the opera album, right dad?” answered his eldest son Robert.

“True Robert, but there’s another part of the story I hadn’t told you all about. Come into the living room with me.” He kept hold of Laura and the boys followed behind him as they all gathered around the couch. “You see, when we first came to mum’s and pops place to record our album, your mother was actually out buying groceries. Your uncle Roger and I were just about to head into the studio when I….ehehe I felt something nudge my bum.” At hearing that the kids all laughed softly. “Yeah, yeah laugh it up now. But when I turned around there stood your mother. Of course I thought it was her but it was then she introduced me to the cleverest dog I would come to know. It was Amber who helped your mum and I meet.”

“She did that?” asked Michael.

“Yeah she did. She was probably the smartest dog I would ever meet, in fact after a while she helped us reunite when your mum moved here to the city.”

“I wish we were there to say goodbye.” Robert spoke.

“She knew you all loved her Robert. She always knows when someone loves her. But kids, try not to think about her death, she wouldn’t want that. Think of all the fun times you had with her. That’s what’s really important.”

“Can we make a scrapbook with all the pictures of her, and…..maybe give it to mama?” Laura asked hopefully. John smiled down at his little girl and said as he stroked through her hair.

“I think mummy would love that.”

“Come on you guys let’s go find some pictures.” Said Robert.

“Maybe even do some hand drawings.” Suggested Michael. Soon the four little Deacons raced upstairs to work on the scrapbook. Meanwhile John stood up and just looked out into the backyard to see his wife and best friend still at the grave of their beloved dog.

Quietly he opened the backdoor and walked towards her slowly and silently. He knelt down behind her and cautiously wrapped his arms around her before resting his head on her shoulder.

*My POV*

I felt the familiar arms of my husband wrap around me and I choked out a confession.

“When I—first adopted her from the shelter, never did I think she would affect my life the way she would. But the second I held her she—she changed my world right then and there. Why did she have to die Deacy? Why her?”

“Shhh, shh.” Deacy held me close to him, my head resting over his heart. As one arm was wrapped around me, his other cupped over my ear so that the only sound I could hear besides his voice was his heartbeat, trying to soothe and control my broken one. “She loved you so much (y/n).”

But even that didn’t stop the tears from falling down my face. I felt him press little pecks on the top of my head as he then said.

“I’d imagine the doves up in heaven are not gonna be too happy now that she’s with them.” Finally for the first time in over three weeks since her death, Deacy finally managed to get me to smile through my tears with that joke. “Ohh there’s that smile I’ve missed so dearly.” He wiped my tears away and cupped my face so that I could look at her.

“I’m sorry—”

“No, you have no reason to apologize to me my love. You just lost your best friend; you have every right to grieve in how you see fit.”

“Are….are the kids—mad at me?”

“They’re more worried about you than anything. They also miss her too.” I sighed heavily and leaned up against him.

“I don’t know what I would do without you here Deacy.”

“We’ll get through this darling. But just know she’s never really gone; she’ll always be in your memories and in your heart.”

“I just…..never got to thank her. Without her I’d—we probably wouldn’t have met each other the way we did.”

“She knows that, she probably knew all along that we had a future together. Otherwise she would never have chased after our car the day the boys and I left the farm.” He gently kissed me before placing gentle kisses along my temple and kept hold of me.

The rest of the day we all spent in the living room huddled up together on the couch, sharing stories and looking through pictures of the greatest dog to ever grace our lives.

Even as the years passed and we got a new dog to join the family, he didn’t take the place of her in our hearts. She was in a class of her own.

It’s not often that a dog comes along whose a true friend, and a great matchmaker. Amber was both.

#bohemian rhapsody #bohemian rhapsody movie #bohemian rhapsody cast #bohemian rhapsody imagines #john deacon #john deacon imagine #john deacon fluff #john deacon x reader #freddie mercury #roger taylor #brian may #joe mazzello!john deacon #bohemian rhapsody x reader #bohemian rhapsody imagine

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blackgirlsuperherorants · 6 years ago

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I know Freddie Mercury isn’t a superhero, but he’s also maybe a superhero, and I guess I’m gonna put this movie discussion here, because... this blog is already used to my bullshit.

No, but, this is actually a serious thing. This will be lengthy, because I’m approaching this not as a rant, as per usual on this blog, but as a study? I guess? I mean, without research, because I’m in grad school and my brain will crumble if I add any extra research, but yeah.

I have seen a lot of criticism of the Bohemian Rhapsody movie that I have been giving a lot of thought to. To be completely fair, I sort of have always had this view of Freddie Mercury as a godlike figure. And I love Rami Malek. So, I have been checking and double-checking myself for bias, which is the thing to do in this situation.

I really enjoyed the film. I am also a screenwriter (MFA student) and I understand and cannot totally ignore the problems with the film.

One of the things we’ve been taught to do, in my MFA program, is pay attention to things like cultural markers and identity markers in our writing. As in, if we write a bisexual character, what makes them bisexual? If we write a South Asian character, what makes them South Asian? Often, writers will write “diverse” characters just for the sake of having them in the picture, but they will inadvertently be devoid of whatever it is that makes them... part of their culture. This is not my criticism of BoRhap. In fact, this post will not be a criticism, per se. It’s... it’s an examination, and a question. And, full disclosure, I should absolutely be working on stuff for class, right now.

This will be focusing on the portrayal of queerness in BoRhap more than anything.

When I saw the movie, being queer myself, I was very... excited to hear Freddie say, on screen, that he thinks he’s bisexual. Like, what a moment, in film. I don’t think that happens, often, and I don’t think screenwriters write shit like that. I believe it’s because bisexuality is misunderstood. People assume bisexual men are gay. People assume bisexual women are straight. People think of bisexuality as something you do while you’re in college out of curiosity, or the last stop over to gayville. People think bi people who date or marry members of their same gender are gay/lesbian. People think bi people who date or marry members of a different gender are straight. It’s just a very, very misunderstood sexual orientation, and those of us who identify this way (I mostly do, although I kinda like queer as a general term) really walk on eggshells all the time trying not to ... be constantly judged from all parties, I guess. So, to hear a character say it in a film? And it’s sincere and not a character flaw or played for laughs? I C O N I C.

But the film also undercuts that line immediately, with Freddie’s girlfriend yelling at him that he’s gay. Because a man can’t be bisexual, yenno? If he likes dick at all, he’s gay. (Of course this is wrong as hell, but whatever.)

I guess, that’s part of the reason so many people are unhappy or even angry with the portrayal. One criticism I keep seeing is how it treats queerness as a cautionary tale. How Freddie gets caught up in this “gay underworld” lifestyle and it literally kills him. How redemption is him “straightening up”. (Which actually does not happen in the movie. The movie... ends with him finally settling down with JIM, a man, JIM! How that was read as “straightening up” or I guess becoming hetero to some people is beyond me.)

And mentioning that, there’s criticism of showing Paul Prenter, who I understand re: Queen fans, to be a slimy slimeball piece of crap, as the villain, because Paul is also a gay man.

So, this is my concern, or I guess, my issue, with these criticisms: much of this is based in the reality of the situation. I’m not suggesting that this film is historically accurate. I’ve seen discussions of timeline issues, invented moments, and Freddie actually never told his bandmates he had AIDS until the day before he died (unlike in the film). But I struggle with the argument that it presents queerness as a cautionary tale when Freddie’s battle with AIDS is actually what happened. He actually died of AIDS related illness in 1991. That’s not to say being gay killed him. A lot of people were gay in the 1980s and did not contract HIV or die of AIDS. But unfortunately, Freddie did.

So, what is the line? When we’re handling stories based on true events, based on real people... what are we supposed to write? Would it have been worse to show Freddie as a healthy man who died in his sleep of natural causes, ignoring his battle with AIDS completely?

What about the Prenter situation? The man wasn’t a good person, and wasn’t good for Queen or Freddie. I’m not extremely well versed in Queen history, but I do know that Paul Prenter is, well, a villain in the eyes of Queen’s fans, and he did do snake shit to Freddie. Does the fact that he’s also gay mean that should be left out? Or should they have erased Paul’s queerness, so that it’s not suggested that the evil gay person ruined Freddie’s life?

Some of my opinion on that matter should be clear, but I also don’t really know the way they should’ve handled this stuff. I thought, personally, that they handled AIDS delicately, and maybe a little too delicately, but... I thought it was done fine. Freddie wasn’t even blamed for having the disease. And the invented scene where he tells the band before Live Aid (I don’t know that he had even been diagnosed, yet, in real life), was a touching, beautiful scene. Nobody scolds him, or says “you shouldn’t have fucked all those people!” They aren’t angry. They cry together, and tell him he’s a legend and they love him. Then they go get a drink. It wasn’t... at all... very “cautionary tale,” to me. Especially because directly after that moment, he goes and finds Jim Hutton, the man he’s been wanting for a long time, and finally pursues being with him for real. So, what’s the caution, here? Don’t be gay, just be gay? I don’t... get it....

Like, it’s a hard line to tow. Do you... make a huge show of an icon dying from a horrible disease that ravaged the LGBT community terribly during the 1980s? Or do you.... not mention it at all? Or ... do you do what they did and mention it lightly, and try not to make it a huge deal? I don’t know. I’m sure you don’t really know, either. You’d probably try your best, if you were writing this, but ultimately, it’s hard to know what the move is, here.

That’s not to say that the movie doesn’t have faults. It doesn’t know which story it’s telling. It sort of moves like a “brief history of” type of thing. It’s also 2 hours and 30 minutes long, and still feels like it didn’t go in depth at all.

I also agree that we see much of Freddie’s vices and little of the other members’ vices. I mean, we get hints of Roger’s affinity towards being with multiple women, but barely. And John and Brian were basically angels. Which... can’t have been realistic, considering they were hot rock stars in the 1970s, when everyone was fucking everyone and everyone was snorting cocaine. I do wish they would’ve showed them all behaving like rock stars, more, instead of showing Freddie throwing lavish parties and the other guys sort of shaking their head and going home to their wives. But also, we don’t see very much of Freddie’s wildness, either. The movie is very, very tame, as rock star biopics go. There’s not even a sex scene. There’s cocaine on a table, but nobody snorts it on screen. There are parties with lots of boys making out and whatnot, but Freddie isn’t even shown really participating in that shit. I honestly think it’s even this tame because the living Queen members had a say.

Like, if Brian May and Roger Taylor weren’t involved in the production, I’m sure we would’ve seen more of their vices, too. And probably more of Freddie’s vices. I think it’s silly for people to suggest they are jealous of Freddie and made it look like Freddie was the only one partying to make themselves look better, because I think Freddie looks damn near innocent in the film, and I think that’s thanks to Brian and Roger protecting his legacy. For instance, we learn towards the end that Freddie has AIDS. But WE NEVER SEE HIM CONTRACT HIV. We don’t see him sleep with some dirty bear in the back of some gay bar in NYC or something. We just... learn he has AIDS.

That can either be cause for criticism or praise, I guess. From a writing perspective, generally you wouldn’t randomly reveal a character has AIDS without some hint as to how they contracted it, in a narrative like this one that spans like 15-20 years. And also, maybe you could stretch it as an example of that “cautionary tale” business, like “even though Freddie was a good boy, he still got AIDS because of all the gay.” Which... is a reach, and I’m sorry I pulled it out of the sky. They also did one of my least favorite movie tropes, which is “character coughs up blood, so you know he gon die.” Although, IDK if that’s something that every happened to him. Singers can cough up blood just from damaging their throat while doing certain things with their voice, and getting infections and things...

Anyway...

I just... I get the criticism, and I get the instinct to be hypercritical of this movie. After all, Freddie was one of the most unapologetic and influential queer artists in the world. In history. You want to make sure it’s done right and with respect.

But, I genuinely don’t know how they could’ve approached this differently. I mean, I see how changes could be made to make it a better film, narratively speaking. But I’m not sure how I’d write a movie about Freddie Mercury and discuss his battle with AIDS... without the reality that Freddie succumbs to the illness in 1991. Or, how you write about the doomed dealings with Paul Prenter, without acknowledging that he’s a creep, even if he is gay.

See, when shit is based on a true story, it’s harder to navigate these things. Because, I totally understand the reaction to what many perceive is a slight against their people. But, IDK, if I’m writing a Freddie Mercury film, I’d know that he’s going to die, and from what, and I’d know that he kept it to himself, and explore why that is.

And as for Paul Prenter, fuck that guy. One can be evil and gay. Just as one can be a sweet baby angel and gay (like Jim Hutton.)

The movie has problem. (Another topic for another day). These aren’t problems it has, to me.

I’d be open to hear others’ opinions, here, but only if you promise not to yell at me (CAPS IS YELLING) or call me names or be a general jerk about things.

#bohemian rhapsody #rami malek #freddie mercury #queen #gwilym lee #brian may #ben foster #roger taylor #joe mazzello #john deacon #text #long post

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disco-cola · 6 years ago

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i’m still in post-concert depression from guns n´ roses but simultaneously in pre-concert anticipation for the stones this friday, so i’ve been re-watching my favorite movies specifically set in the 70s and 80s rock music business scene to stay in the mood and since i’m bored as hell i thought i’d share a list of them because i know a lot of people are always looking for classic rock-themed movies and they’re kind of a rare breed sadly, so here you go!

☆ ALMOST FAMOUS (2000): first off, i recommend the extended cut, also called ‘untitled’ cut, over the cinema version! that film is just a classic to me. an absolute favorite. i can speak along to every minute of this film. i’m sure most of y’all will have seen it by now. but anyway, this has to go in here.

☆ ROCK STAR (2001): set in the mid-1980s. about a guy devoting his life to worshipping his favorite band and imitating their singer until the chance of his life appears and he actually gets to be their new frontman. i remember when i first watched it i found that movie kinda cringy, but i’ve absolutely grown to love it. serves all the 80s rock star clichés you can dream of. (interesting to know: john bonham’s son jason portrays the drummer of the fictional film band steel dragon. also most of the other band members are played by actual musicians, among others zakk wylde.)

☆ VELVET GOLDMINE (1998): also kind of a classic. great movie about the early 70s-glam rock scene. the characters are quite obviously based off bowie, iggy pop, a little lou reed and mick jagger. outrageously amazing fashion!

☆ THE RUNAWAYS (2010): usually i’m not a fan of “newer” movies set in the 70s/80s, but this one was really good. i remember when me and my old high school friends watched it sometime after its release, we desperately wanted to form our own all-girl punk band. we lasted thru one half-assed rehearsal. that movie still makes me wanna start my own band though. a bittersweet tale about one of the raddest ‘girlbands’ that’s ever been!

☆ THIS IS SPINAL TAP (1984): a documentary-style film that’s so authentically made you might forget it's not real. draws an exaggerated, slightly mocking picture of a fictional rock/metal band in the early 80s. people who really were in the business say some things really weren’t far from reality at all. but that’s what makes it so good. (bonus: fran drescher has a part in this, and boy do i love fran!)

not necessarily set in the music business scene, but most definitely around it and still worth a mention:

☆ ROADIE (1980): starring meat loaf, who plays a texan hillbilly falling in love with a rock groupie on the road while accidentally becoming “the greatest roadie that ever lived.” with cameos by blondie and debbie harry, alice cooper and roy orbison. great soundtrack too!

☆ SUNSET STRIP (2000): set on a day in 1972 on (as the title promises) legendary sunset strip around a group of people trying make it on the scene. one of them is a clothing designer and has a boutique across from the whisky a go go, where she dresses musicians and bands. interesting fact: that character is based off jeannie franklyn aka “genie the taylor” - a young fashion designer who had her shop right inside the whisky, outfitting just about everyone who was someone in the late sixties from cream, the jimi hendrix experience, jefferson airplane, donovan, buffalo springfield, the mamas and the papas, martha & the vandellas, the temptations to keith moon, sharon tate, david crosby and many more. she died in a car crash while being on the road with fairport convention in england in may 1969. wanted to share this because she’s so overlooked and forgotten and she deserves a mention and remembrance! and so does this movie!

#if anyone watches any of these feel free to let me know how you liked it!#classic rock #movies #movie recommendations

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rainbowitup · 6 years ago

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Long Live

It’s a typical Friday afternoon, and I’m in the car on the way to pick up McDonald’s for lunch. There’s construction on the overpass, which means traffic is backed up and barely moving at all. But all of that is okay because today when I got in the car, I chose to listen to Taylor Swift’s Speak Now album. Couldn’t even tell you why, other than it just struck me like it was a good idea.

So I listen to Better Than Revenge, then Dear John, and then Long Live comes on. And I’ve always had this strange connection with this song - something about the melody or the instruments or something has always kind of pulled at me.

And today, it brought me to tears. And it’s funny, because really, Long Live is about Taylor and her band, and how after years of being made fun of and laughed at by other musicians and critics, they finally made it. And I mean, I’m happy in life - with my friendships, with my marriage, my children, my home, my hobbies, and my job - but I haven’t made it. I’m not famous. This song shouldn’t resonate with me so deeply. I really don’t relate to the story she’s telling. Except I kinda do. Let me tell you why.

I said, “Remember this moment,” in the back of my mind. The time we stood with our shaking hands...

I was in Chicago and at my first ever Supernatural convention. I was in a line up in the hallway standing with hundreds of other Misha Collins fans, but I was alone because I didn’t know a single one of them. Turns out that didn’t matter. When I finally got into the room could see that I was actually standing in the same room as Misha Collins I couldn’t contain my excitement, and after literally flailing, the girl in front of me joined in and we became fast friends.

My hands were shaking. My heart was beating so erratically I felt like my chest was vibrating. I couldn’t feel my legs, and I was sweating profusely. It was the most excited/nervous/petrified I have ever been in my entire life, and I’ll remember that moment for as long as I live.

I said, “Remember this feeling.” I passed the pictures around...

In Toronto, at my second Supernatural convention, I was sitting alone and knew from prior experience it would be so much more fun if I made friends with the people I was sitting with. I’d be sitting with them all weekend, after all! So I did. I remember it started when somebody on stage made a mean (but harmless) joke about Misha, and I booed - loudly. The girls next to me nodded in agreement, and that was it, we were friends. After every op, we’d grab our pictures and then run back to our seats to share them with each other. We’d point out what we liked and what we didn’t. We’d go over every word, every look, every second of what it felt like to be close to our favorite people and we knew that we understood each other’s excitement and passion. We had found our people.

And it’s the same online after every convention. I sit and stare at pictures of my friends with their favorite people for way longer than I should. I listen enthusiastically and yell in all caps when they tell me about THE LOOK Misha gave them right before the picture was taken, or when Rob said, “Nice to see you again,” or what it felt like to have Jared’s giant body wrapped around them.

We pass the pictures around enthusiastically in this fandom.

I was screaming, "Long live the look on your face!"

It was one of my first ever photo ops, and it happened with Kim Rhodes and Briana Buckmaster. I wasn’t even huge fans of them at the time (BUT I AM NOW) but man, I was still excited. The best part for me during this op wasn’t meeting the famous people, though. It was sharing this op with my online-turned-real-life best friend, Michelle. We live in different countries, but I flew to Chicago and we roomed together. And Michelle was a huge fan of Kim and Bri. We had our photo op, which was one big squishy hug for the four of us, and while I thought it was fun and screamed at Kim and Bri how pretty they both were, Michelle was star struck. I can still see her face as clear as day in my mind today, a year later. She had tears in her eyes, and she was doing her damnedest not to cry, but the joy and awe she felt were broad casted all over her face. I loved her then and I love her now, and this is what I thought of when I heard that line today. “Long live the look on your face.” If I could create a world where she was that happy every single day, I would do it in a heartbeat.

This is what really got the tears flowing though: Can you take a moment? Promise me this: that you’ll stand by me forever. But if God forbid, fate should step in and force us into a goodbye... If you have children some day, when they point to the pictures, please tell them my name. Tell them how the crows went wild. Tell them how I hope they shine.

I have made friendships through Supernatural that I know will last a lifetime, but I’ve also made friendships that are strong and fulfilling in this moment that I know will not last forever. Because some of them are based solely on the fact that we are enamoured by the same show and the same people who are in the show - and that’s okay. Not every friendship is going to last forever. But that doesn’t make it any less meaningful.

So when I think about eventually losing touch with some of the people I spend so much time talking to now, this is what I think about. Please tell them my name. Tell them how I hope they shine. Because, God, even if I never talk to you again, you have no idea how deeply I want good, beautiful, long and shiny lives for you and your children. For the people you love dearest.

I hope one day when you’re old and grey, you find these dusty photo ops that we paid an obscene amount of money for, and you show your kids. I hope you tell them how awesome it was to squeeze our favorite people, and I hope you still smile about it thirty years from now. But more than that, I hope you point me out. I hope you show them who I am, and that you have a funny story to tell them about a time I made you laugh, or maybe a story about when you had a really bad day and I popped online at the right time and was able to make you smile instead. I hope you tell them about my kids, and funny things they said, and I hope you know that no matter how many years it’s been since we’ve talked that I will stand by you forever.

And I was screaming, "Long live all the magic we made!"

Listen, a lot of you create. You create art, and stories, and music, and poems. Your minds are unbelievable, and I spend a large chunk of my time sitting here wondering how I’ve become friends with some of the brightest, sharpest minds I’ve ever known. You help make the things I create better. You put feelings into words, give love to characters who need it, make fantasies become reality, and you support one another every single day whenever we do it. We share, and comment, and recommend what we love to other people who might love it, too. We might not love these characters or ship these two people together forever, but fuck if I don’t think of you guys when I hear: long live the magic we made. Because we have made magic, and we made it together.

And lastly: I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you.

We’re not going to be this passionate about this TV show forever. We’re not going to rewatch the same 400 episodes (TULPA) enough to re-watch them and analyze them and GIF them and make up headcanons about the things that are never explained properly for the rest of our lives. We might love it forever, but it won’t always be exactly like this. There won’t always be conventions. There won’t always be opportunities to hop on a plane to go watch our favorite band play together. There won’t always be another new fan fiction story to read and discuss.

But for the record, for however long this phase of my life lasts, goddamn did I have the time of my life with you guys. You helped me discover who I am. What makes my blood start pumping. You helped me learn things about myself I never would have learned if it wasn’t for a TV show. You made me love who I am, exactly the way that I am. You showed me that friendship between two people can be deep and fulfilling even when we’re not in the same country. You have made me laugh more in the last two years than I’ve laughed in the last twenty, and I’m not exaggerating.

You have yelled for me when a picture of my favorite person literally made me breathless. You have watched me cry when I didn’t get the experience I hoped for during an autograph session. You have spent days being my tour guide in New York City. You’ve invited me into your home. You’ve spent hours creating art for stories I’ve written just because you wanted to. You’ve sent me songs that made you think about my characters - and you were so spot on I cried. You’ve sent me birthday cards and gift baskets and even wrote me porn. You held my hand virtually when my aunt was diagnosed with cancer and all throughout the years she was fighting it. You pretended to care when I vented about shit you had no idea what I was even talking about. You’ve had my back and fought my battles when I wasn’t strong enough to do it myself. You pushed me into doing something I was afraid to do, and the payback was enormous. Your wit, your GIFs, your minds, and your commentary have brightened my life exponentially in ways I will never be able to express.

In a nutshell: I’ve had the time of my life with you.

Long live, you guys. Long live all of this and all of you.

#Supernatural #fandom #bffs #taylor swift #long live

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surroundmewithbooks-blog · 7 years ago

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50 bookish questions

Tagged by @kafkalit and @twobrokegirlswithbooks. Thanks!

1. What is your favorite book and/or book series of all time?

Harry Potter

2. What is the longest book you have ever read? How many pages?

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, 784pgs

3. What is the oldest book you have ever read? (Based on its written date)

Odyssey by Homer

4. What is a book series that everyone else loves but you do not?

The Mortal Instruments

5. What book or book series would you like to see turned into a film/ TV series?

I don’t really like book adaptations. But...The Year of Secret Assignments by Jaclyn Moriarty

6. What is your favorite stand-alone book?

The Scorpio Races by Maggie Stiefvater

7. What is a book that you feel glad for not reading?

Fifty Shades of Grey

9. What is a book you have read that is set in your country of birth?

Hunger Games was the first to come to mind

8. What is a book that you feel guilty for not reading?

Don Quixote

10. What is a book that you own more than one copy of?

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

11. What horror book made you really scared?

The Nest by Kenneth Oppel

12. What book do you passionately hate?

Attachments by Rainbow Rowell

13. What is the biggest book series you have read? How many books are in it?

Redwall series with 22 books

14. What book gives you happy memories?

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

15. What book made you cry?

The Handmaid’s Tale

16. What book made you laugh?

Ready Player One

17. What is your favourite book that contains an LGBTQ+ character?

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe

18. Have you read a book with a male protagonist? What is it?

Yes. Plenty. But most recently, The Zoo at the Edge of the World by Eric Kahn Gale

19. Have you read a book set on another planet? What is it?

Yes, Illuminae

20. Have you ever been glad to not finish a series? Which?

.Zodiac by Romina Russell

21. Have you ever read a book series because you were pressured?

Kinda. My friend in my old school was reading Twilight, and I had to change schools and wanted to stay in touch.

22. What famous author have you not read any books by?

James :Patterson

23. Who is your favorite author of all time?

J K Rowling

24. How many bookshelves do you own?

2 and I need more

25. How many books do you own?

591

26. What is your favorite non-fiction book?

You’re Never Weird on the Internet by Felicia Day

27. What is your favorite children’s/middle-grade book?

Artemis Fowl by Eoin Colfer

28. What is your next book on your TBR?

Women Who Run With the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes

29. What book are you currently reading?

Words in Deep Blue by Cath Crowley

30. What book are you planning on buying next?

I’m not planning on buying any books right now.

31. What was the cheapest book you bought?

The Eve of St Agnes by John Keats Penguin Little Black Classic

32. What was the most expensive book you bought?

Tales of Beedle the Bard Collector’s Edition

33. What is a book you read after seeing the movie/ TV series?

The Black Cauldron

34. What is the newest book you have bought?

The Eve of St Agnes by John Keats Penguin Little Black Classic

35. What three books are you most looking forward to reading this year?

Wonder Woman: Warbringer by Leigh Bardugo and I don’t have anything planned past that

36. What is a book you love that has a terrible trope? (Love triangle, etc)

Starflight by Melissa Landers. It has a girl falling for her bully. :(

37. Have you read a book in a different language? What was it?

38. What is a book you’ve read that is set in a time period before you were born?

The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde

39. What book offended you?

The Last American Vampire by Seth Grahame-Smith

40. What is the weirdest book you have read?

Vassa in the Night by Sarah Porter

41. What is your favorite duology?

Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli

42. What is your favorite trilogy?

Legend by Marie Lu

43. What book did you buy because of its cover?

Nevernight by Jay Kristoff

44. What is a book that you love, but has a terrible cover?

I can’t think of any.

45. Do you own a poetry anthology? What is your favorite poem from it?

The Princess Saves Herself In This One by Amanda Lovelace. Fav poem is women are some kind of magic

46. Do you own any coloring books based off other books?

3 of the Harry Potter ones

47. Do you own any historical fiction?

A few

48. What book made you angry?

The Last American Vampire by Seth Grahame-Smith

49. What book has inspired you?

Daughter of Smoke and Bone by Laini Taylor

50. What book got you into reading?

I can’t remember. I’ve just always loved reading.

Tagging

I’m gonna keep this short, since I feel fairly sure everyone has done this by now: @just-your-average-bookworm, @acciobooksandsunshine, and @m-like-magic

Apologies if you’ve already done this. And anyone who hasn’t been tagged but wants to do the tag, feel free! :)

#tagged #50 bookish questions

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yoyo-inspace · 8 years ago

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Thoughts on the 89th Academy Awards

A.k.a. I didn’t watch that many movies last year, but I kept a LIST, and now a lot of those on that list are nominated and I’ll do my very best to watch most of them before the Oscars.

A quick thought if you can’t be bothered to read the long post of me talking about the nominations under the cut: The thing is, with how the Oscars work, movies that a lot of people have seen that are also nominated will likely win a lot. Because the people who vote at the Oscars have never seen everything and people will vote for what they have seen. Sometimes that ends up being something that people thought deserve to win and sometimes not. That’s how these types of voting systems work.

By which I mean to say that La La Land is going to win a hell of a lot. And I don’t doubt that it doesn’t deserve it (and I really really want to see it), but some people are going to be upset about that, and say it’s more because of the hype than because it deserves it. As I said, I can’t tell the truth of that, since I haven’t seen it yet. I bet there’s going to be some cases of that, but in the Oscars, it’s really common that more than one of the nominees deserve to win equally as much as the rest. It’s the Oscars. I try not to take it that seriously. What can you do. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ it’s like the anime awards 2016 all over again

On a positive note though, what a diverse year in terms of Oscars nominations! Both in front and behind the camera. That’s great. Not fixing the problem, but moving forward. Let’s just hope people keep on celebrating these movies so that even more get made.

Kinda disappointed neither A Monster Calls or Deadpool was nominated for anything, but it is what it is. Deadpool would have been fun though. Biggest surprise is probably that Silence wasn’t nominated for more than it was. But there was a lot of great movies coming out last year.

But yeah, on the important stuff. Under the cut are almost all of the categories and the few thoughts I have on them as well as predictions and whatever else I come up with. Because I’ve seen so very little. But I’ll try to change that.

First off, I’ll be skipping because Best Documentary Feature, Best Documentary (Short Subject) and Best Short Film (Live Action) because I haven’t anything useful to say on them since I usually don’t keep up with those. But I hope they all do well and I bet they’re great.

Second, bolded (unless it’s a category title) means I’ve seen it (there are so few, the shame) and cursive means it was on my list I was planning to see. I might end up watching some of the others, but the cursive ones are my priorities because I’ve wanted to see them for a long time.

BEST PICTURE La La Land Moonlight Manchester by the Sea Arrival Lion Hidden Figures Hacksaw Ridge Hell or High Water Fences

Also known as that one category people actually care about.

And I haven’t seen a single one. Which kind of makes me sad. But oh well. Hidden Figures, Arrival and La La Land are the ones on the top of my list that I really need to see. Especially Arrival. And I’m really happy there’s a sci-fi movie among the Best Picture nominees. However, I am pretty sure La La Land is going to win this one, judging by what I’ve heard people more invested than me say. I am so glad all of these movies got nominated though, because I’ve heard great things about all of them, and nomination in itself is a great sign.

BEST DIRECTOR Damien Chazelle – La La Land Barry Jenkins – Moonlight Kenneth Lonergan – Manchester by the Sea Denis Villeneuve – Arrival Mel Gibson – Hacksaw Ridge

Ugh. The thing is, from what I’ve heard, on simply the basis of directing, Mel Gibson did a stellar job here. But I don’t want him to win. Because. Ugh. Mel Gibson. If it happens it happens. They are after all supposed to vote on the direction of the movie, and not Mel Gibson as a person. But you know how it is.

Again, I’m thinking La La Land is going to take this one. I’m holding a torch for Arrival and Fences though, because I’ve heard such good thing about both of them. Not that I haven’t heard good things about La La Land and I’m sure it deserves all those good things, but just that I feel like I need to hold a torch for someone that isn’t the obvious winner. And again, I haven’t seen any of them, so, can’t really say more than that. They were all on my list of movies to see last year though, so hopefully I’ll manage to get around to them before the gala.

BEST ACTRESS Emma Stone – La La Land Natalie Portman – Jackie Isabelle Huppert – Elle Meryl Streep – Florence Foster Jenkins Ruth Negga – Loving

While I’ve heard wonderful things about Ruth Negga in Loving, I think Emma Stone is going take this one. But who knows, Meryl Streep could just descend from the ceiling and sweep it up.

BEST ACTOR Casey Affleck – Manchester by the Sea Denzel Washington – Fences Andrew Garfield – Hacksaw Ridge Ryan Gosling – La La Land Viggo Mortensen – Captain Fantastic

While I would love for Viggo Mortensen to get this, because I have a feeling I’ll really like Captain Fantastic, I don’t think he’s got a chance. From what I’ve heard, Casey Affleck is one that people are saying who is most likely to win. I have issues with Casey Affleck, but I’ll just refer back to my Gibson discussion above. Would be fun if Denzel Washington won, either for this or director. I’ve heard he’s great. I think this is one of those categories that La La Land is a bit less likely to win, but I think it could, just by the name alone, and that most people have seen it. I have also heard really great things about Andrew Garfield in Hacksaw Ridge, plus he was in Silence. So who knows? This is a tough one.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS Viola Davis – Fences Michelle Williams – Manchester by the Sea Naomie Harris – Moonlight Nicole Kidman – Lion Octavia Spencer – Hidden Figures

GIVE VIOLA DAVIS AN OSCAR. No okay but I’ve heard stellar things about all of these, but Viola Davis has clearly been at the top of that. Can’t say much about anything else, since I haven’t seen the movies. Really wanna see Hidden Figures though. I’ll get there.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR Mahershala Ali – Moonlight Jeff Bridges – Hell or High Water Dev Patel – Lion Lucas Hedges – Manchester by the Sea Michael Shannon – Nocturnal Animals

I literally have nothing to say about this. I know so very little about these movies. I’ve heard both Michael Shannon’s and Mahershala Ali’s names tossed around a lot. But that’s about it.

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY Moonlight – Barry Jenkins, Tarell McCraney Arrival – Eric Heisserer Lion – Luke Davies Fences – August Wilson Hidden Figures – Allison Schroeder, Theodore Melfi

Again, I think A Monster Calls was kind of robbed. Oh well. Again, difficult for me to say anything, but I do hope Hidden Figures wins at least SOMETHING.

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY La La Land – Damien Chazelle Manchester by the Sea – Kenneth Lonergan Hell or High Water – Taylor Sheridan The Lobster – Efthymis Filippou, Yorgos Lanthimos 20th Century Women – Mike Mills

Hey, I have a friend who talked a lot about The Lobster. Fun to see that there. Not a clue what 20th Century Women is, haven’t heard of it. Kinda sad Zootopia isn’t here, or Moana. Or Kubo. But that’s what they usually do to animated films. Probably going to be won by La La Land.

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY Linus Sandgren – La La Land Bradford Young – Arrival Greig Fraser – Lion James Laxton – Moonlight Rodrigo Prieto – Silence

My guess would be La La Land (original, I know) or Silence. But I honestly have no idea. Arrival I’ve heard great things about (also first African-American to get nominated for Best Cinematography! That’s worth celebrating).

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE Zootopia Moana Kubo and the Two Strings The Red Turtle My Life as a Zucchini

HEY LOOK IT’S A MOVIE I’VE WATCHED. Moana still isn’t out here, and I missed Kubo while it was out, but those are two movies I really want to see. My guess would be that Moana wins, surely deservedly so, but Zootopia was just so good. I loved it. I am so glad to see Kubo nominated though, since stop-motion really doesn’t get the attention it should, and here we have not one but TWO of them nominated, and even though I have not yet seen Kubo, I’m pretty sure that I’ll love it, if just for the soundtrack (which I have listened to), alone.

BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM Tanna – Australia Land of Mine – Denmark Toni Erdmann – Germany The Salesman – Iran A Man Called Ove – Sweden

I’ve actually only heard of two movies on this list, so I was considering skipping it, but I just couldn’t. Because I adore the book A Man Called Ove is based on, and it’s so funny to me that it’s nominated for not one but TWO Oscars. I can’t say much else, other than that out of the two I know, I’m pretty sure Tony Erdmann will win, but I know very little about the other two so I can’t really say that with much conviction.

BEST ORIGINAL SONG “Audition (The Fools Who Dream)” – La La Land “City of Stars” – La La Land “How Far I’ll Go” – Moana “Can’t Stop the Feeling” – Trolls “The Empty Chair” - Jim: The James Foley Story

As much as I want Moana to win, this is going to go to La La Land. I’ve only heard one of these, and it’s a La La Land song. And from what I’ve heard, Audition is really good as well. Sad that not more Moana songs are on here though.

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE La La Land – Justin Hurwitz Lion – Dustin O’Halloran and Hauschka Moonlight – Nicholas Britell Jackie – Mica Levi Passengers – Thomas Newman

LA LA LAND IS GOING TO WIN THIS ONE. But honestly, I’d be fine with everything as long as Passengers don’t get close to it. Out of spite.

BEST FILM EDITING La La Land – Tom Cross Moonlight – Joi McMillon, Nat Sanders Hacksaw Ridge – John Gilbert Arrival – Joe Walker Hell or High Water – Jake Roberts

I’m going to throw out a wild guess here, and say La La Land, but I’ve heard amazing things about Moonlight, and if La La Land picks up nearly everything else, it would be nice to see it win something. Great to see it keep on getting nominated though, as well as Arrival.

BEST VISUAL EFFECT Deepwater Horizon The Jungle Book Rogue One: A Star Wars Story Doctor Strange Kubo and the Two Strings

A CATEGORY WHERE I’VE SEEN MORE THAN ONE THING. TRULY A MIRACLE. (I am so predictable.)

I am 95% sure that The Jungle Book are going to take this one. It’s really great to see a stop-motion movie nominated for this category, and I don’t think it’s a loss if it doesn’t win, because at least it got acknowledged. Rogue One did some amazing new things with CGI (which I know people like to complain about, but I really can’t say that that was anything else than fantastic what they’ve managed to do and how they’ve developed that technology). But however creative and ground-breaking Rogue One was with a few effects, that was the entirety of The Jungle Book. That entire movie, except for the boy, is a special effect. It’s filmed on a green screen in a studio in Los Angeles, and there were many times I honestly could not tell. And the animals were absolutely fantastic. So yeah, I don’t feel that bad giving this to The Jungle Book.

BEST COSTUME DESIGN Allied – Joanna Johnston Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them – Colleen Atwood Florence Foster Jenkins – Consolata Boyle Jackie – Madeline Fontaine La La Land – Mary Zophres

I’m just so glad Fantastic Beasts got a nomination, and while I think La La Land will win this one, having a shout-out for the amazing costumes in Fantastic Beasts is very nice.

BEST MAKEUP AND HAIRSTYLING Suicide Squad – Alessandro Bertolazzi A Man Called Ove – Love Larson and Eva Con Bahr Star Trek Beyond – S. Anne Carroll and Joel Harlow

Ah yes, the Oscars nominated movie Suicide Squad. Sigh. No but I honestly don’t know with this one. I’d prefer if Suicide Squad doesn’t get it, for simply personal reasons, but I don’t know which of the other two will get it. From what I know the age make up in A Man Called Ove was really great, and I never really thought much about the makeup and hairstyling in Star Trek Beyond, but I don’t think I dare to hope that A Man Called Ove would win this one. But who knows?

BEST PRODUCTION DESIGN Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them – Stuart Craig, James Hambige, Anna Pinnock Hail, Caesar! – Jess Gonchor, Nancy Haigh La La Land – David Wasco, Sandy Reynolds-Wasco Arrival – Patrice Vermette Passengers – Guy Hendrix Dyas

Probably going to be another La La Land win, but the Fantastic Beasts and Arrival nominations have also made me very happy.

BEST SOUND EDITING Arrival Deepwater Horizon Hacksaw Ridge La La Land Sully

I’m just going to have ‘Probably La La Land’ as my standard answer when I don’t know much about these movies. But Sound Editing and Sound Design sometimes surprises me.

BEST SOUND MIXING Arrival Hacksaw Ridge La La Land Rogue One: A Star Wars Story 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi

GIVE ROGUE ONE AN OSCAR but also probably La La Land.

BEST SHORT FILM (ANIMATED) Pearl Pear Cider and Cigarettes Piper Blind Vaysha Borrowed Time

I haven’t actually heard about any of these except for Piper and Borrowed Time, but I’m really curious about the other ones. No idea what will win, but Borrowed Time has been on my to watch list for AGES. I should get around to that.

#academy awards #89th academy awards #oscar nominations #academy awards 2017 #oscar nominations 2017

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stress-bob · 5 years ago

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HERE WE GO

Ok. Worked out, cleaned my room, paid credit card payment, paid rent, posted my probably-wont-make-progress-but-maybe progress picture, and smoked a bowl. My body is ready.

So I was talking about what happened around the time Dea and I broke up recently with a friend, and made me think that it’s been awhile since i’ve sorted through it. Figured why not put as much as I can remember down ~a year and a half later.

Buckle up buttercup,This gonna be looooooooong.

My order of things might be a little muddled, there was a lot going on at the same time.

So let’s back up to before we actually broke up!

For about a year prior I was getting real stressed out about my job. I was in a customer service position working for her Dad actually. He owned a Diesel shop, and had a Company owner in Italy who he was buddies with. Marco (italy guy), asked him to set up a place in the US to service his customer base.

I was going to college at the time, and decided I didn’t want to pass up a really interesting opportunity. I’m mostly glad I did. Anyway, I dropped out to work full time here and ended up making some good money. Most of what I did was answer phone calls and help people solve issues (99.9% of the time they caused) . At some point we started going to trade shows, and that was super super fun. I would fly out, set up a pop up tent and the whole shebang.

I was also sent to Mexico two different times for something similar. Except this one, it was with our distributor who was huge. They took their top 100 dealers on a “land cruise” (used to be an actual one, but they do resorts now), and about 25 manufacturers would pay ~20k to fund and attend this. During 3 of the 6 days, the 100 dealers would be set up at tables or 5. Basically think of speed dating. We’d each go around and give a 30 minute pitch about our product to these guys, answer questions, etc. I believe it was 4-5 hours each of the 3 days. You’d think an introvert like me would have a hard time with that, but it was actually a BLAST.

So what was the issue with the job?

Two big things. Dea’s dad (Rip), and a co worker of mine. I worked with a buddy of mine Adam, and he was fantastic. But we had this other co worker who was an old hick from Idaho (buddy of Rip’s) who was to handle our forum and some online stuff. For most of the time I worked with him it was fine. At some point he got really nasty. We had our own forum going on, and a buddy of his helped set it up for us. There were a lot of stupid things that happened surrounding that.

So eventually he’s outright hurling insults at me basically daily on the private side of this form (for a WHILE), and Rip wouldn’t do shit about it. On top of that, Rip had his own shitshow of a shop to run on top of it, and he’s old and tired. But he wouldn’t really give us the autonomy we needed so we could prioritize and get things done with what we had. We can’t be expected to try to learn fucking SEO while answering calls, updating the website, doing sales etc etc infinity fucking etc. Too much do be done with two people, and it was all expected to be done.

Eventually I was donezos, sent him a longwinded 2000 word email about exactly what I had problems with and why i was leaving (prob still have it).

So during the culmination of my work bullshit, that’s when Dea and I’s problems are starting to come to a crossroad. To be completely fair with myself, this was a long time coming. Tbh not sure exactly how long, but it probably should have been over before this went down.

We’ve always had communication problems. I think fundamentally we just don’t understand each-other well. Sure we both could have pointed out a lot of habits and what each would have done in certain situations, things we liked. But that’s not really the type of understanding i’m talking about.

The first time I realized something might happen is when she asked me about how I felt about polyamory. It’s something I had thought about before, because other women are definitely attractive. But with how long we’d been together, I knew it would bring up a lot of really jealous feelings that wouldn’t be pretty. So when she asked, I answered pretty matter-of-factly that it wasn’t going to work for me.

Looking back she was watching a lot of shows about poly life around this time, fun tidbit.

I wouldn’t say this answer upset her necessarily....but she was clearly idk, put off? Maybe disappointed.

IIRC she eventually asked again, and my answer remained the same. I think this was what spurred the discussion of “I don’t know if this what I want”. I did know what I wanted. She didn’t. What else can I do but wait until she does figure it out? I’m not that type of person that’s going to try and influence her. I could have tried to convince her she would be happy if she stayed or some bullshit. I loved her, and if not being with me is the way it needs to be? Them’s the breaks. I was also so SO tired emotionally. I had nothing left to give at that point.

So she breaks up with me. I think I left to walk to 7-11 at this point, because I needed a break. I don’t actually remember that well. I wasn’t around her right then, regardless. Maybe we were in our room when we broke up. Anyway Not that long after she breaks up with me(5 mins, half hour?), she’s crying and didn’t want to break up.

And of course I didn’t either. That lasted about a month, and she does it for real. Now here’s where the fun stuff started!

Sometime before or shortly after this I found out my Mom has an autoimmune disease that will kill her sooner or later. It’s very possible this is what her contributed to her mom dying when I was 8. So scary stuff yeah?

I quit my job, because FUCK that noise. It was too much.

I stayed living in the same house, but different room. Big mistake. I trusted her ability to communicate too much. Not that mine was stellar (we’ll get into this).

My parents divorce. Which hey, go be happy Mom! Again, sorry Dad, them’s the breaks. Happened to me to not even a month prior. But no, they both decided to be giant shitters. I think my Mom definitely did worse things to him, and to the family. He definitely said some nasty shit too though.

My mom decides to encourage my dad to go visit some family in Ohio (maybe he was thinking about it already? he reconnected with them recently at this point). By the time he comes back, she has a “friend” staying in the house. I feel like she said he was just staying for a while. Well my dad aint dumb, and this is the guy that has been in love with my mom forever, apparently.

She lied to the family a bunch, introduced my sisters kid to Frank even though she SPECIFICALLY told her not to. Her fucking kid’s grandparents split up. Shes like 7 for fucks sake. My sister was LIVID. Like didn’t let my mom see her granddaughter for many months livid. It’s hard to get that trust back. On top of lying to my sister plenty etc etc. I don’t even want to get into frank right now.

I also had about 9 grand saved up at this point, and decided to not work for awhile and take care of my mental state. I literally could not work anymore after the breakup, and my parents bullshit. Another side note, but a root canal decided to cost me $1500 out of pocket a few months in. Probably like $2k total with the other stuff. Great timing, life. I think I was doing a “staycation” for like, 8 months? ish?

So here I was, jobless (had $$ tho tbf), freshly broken up with, super fucking depressed, stuck in the middle of my parents bullshit when i don’t even have enough for myself (and i’m a grown ass fucking adult too)[[, and just generally lost. Really really lost.

I just remembered. Something that made me pretty angry at the time (guess what leads to resentment?). Very shortly after we broke up, Jordan (the good friend he is), decides to try and set up a guys night for me at john’s house (jordan lived with karis at this point). Of course the bros say “hell yeah!” as they are wonderful. We invite Dex too, because why not?

The time rolls around, Jordan can’t go. Dex does show up at some point. Here’s what happened: Dea was really hurt because people were all getting together to make me feel better, i guess? I don’t remember the wording but....i think she felt like nobody was being her friend in that moment I guess? It was her home alone. And for context we got together every saturday for years pretty much, so I do kinda get it. She was also actually pretty mad at Dex because he showed up. She didn’t invite ANYBODY to do anything. So Jordan had to stay with Karis to comfort her, basically.

Like dude. YOU broke up with me. I get it was also really hard for you too, but put the shoe on the other foot for a goddamned second and consider how I felt in all this. Also consider I didn’t set any of this up. Also consider that you didn’t tell anybody that you needed a friend. I did. Don’t get mad at us for this, fuck.

Here’s where the “this-is-why-i-shoulda-moved-out” happens.

Let me say this up front. I expected Dea to bring back dates. This was definitely part of the deal of still living there. I get it. And I did figure she will be comfortable finding someone sooner, given the poly thing.

She brought someone over about 2 months after we broke up, and had mentioned nothing about this.

Now how this played out, was the night before she says “Hey i’m gonna have a friend over tomorrow”. I just say ok. Didn’t really matter because I didn’t have anywhere I could just go on moments notice like that. Coupla days to figure it out woulda been nice, thanks.

Turns out, it’s a dude that been over before. He was Taylors husband (they were poly before they split) who was at our holloween party like half a year before. To top it off, I got to hear the wonderful sounds of them having sex down the hall. Fucking thanks for that. Happened twice too.

You just shut down yeah? Or maybe that’s just me. How am I supposed to feel 2 months after breaking up a 9 year, third of my fucking life relationship, and within 2 months you’re banging a dude while i’m like 2 rooms over AND CAN HEAR YOU. And a dude that’s been over before for the cherry. FUCK man. I still get a little animated about that one.

Those were the big things. A great way to wrap up the whole burrito though? Dex and I were both given 1 months notice to leave from Rip. MY understanding of the local law was that 2 months is required if you’ve been month to month for more than 1 year (6 years...). He didn’t care, or knew I wouldn’t lawyer up. Whatever. The last and final fuck you was the day I went to get the rest of my shit. BEFORE the time on the notice, the locks were changed. Here I am, at 8 in the morning with a U haul we rented, and we can’t get in the house to get my stuff. What. The. Flying. Fuck.

I sure as shit wasn’t going to talk to Dea at ALL at this point, so I called him and he came down. And he sat there the entire time waiting for us and doing bills. Jesus fuck dude. Like, you think i’m gonna murder your daughter or something ffs?

I think I got most of it. I’ve got some stuff with my current living situation, but it’s really peanuts compared to everything else. I‘m also like, idk fairly happy right now too in general so. I’ve grown a lot, and that gives me some comfort.

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