#kinda actually crazy you said this because I was literally just checking lmao
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thegreateventof1928 · 1 month ago
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man I’m too tired to post anything or talk to anyone- finals are coming up I’m sleepy I need to focu-
(Sins just posted another chapter)
-WELL HELLO THERE!! DONT MIND IF I DO
Oh, it's so over for y'all.
For those who have been following my fic, All Our Stolen Summertimes... I've written the Cherik kiss for the next update. Be prepared. IT'S FINALLY HAPPENING. 43k words in. And there's so much more to come. The plot is not over. The love is not over. I hope you enjoy it SO MUCH. I've been building to this for ages.
Catch up on the newest chapter first!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/33086503/chapters/82134211
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arkhammaid · 10 months ago
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— ˚₊‧âș˖ RED BULL GIVES YOU WINGS.
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fandom. formula one
pairing. max verstappen x snowboarder fem!reader (fc: zoi sadowski-synnott)
about. y/n l/n, olympic gold medalist, goes viral after her unusal win. her boyfriend silently cheers from the sidelines
content warnings. social media au, not edited/proofread
notes. i vaguely remember seeing the headlines (years ago) of a teen snowboarder oversleeping because he was watching netflix the night before the race LMAO. so this is kinda the inspiration for that
SKYSPORTS
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liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername, redbull and 3'370'884 others
skysports Gold Medalist @/yourusername had a rough morning during the Winter Olympics, she overslept thanks to a late game night binge with her boyfriend. Yet despite also forgetting her coat, she takes the win by storm, all while flueled by three Red Bull's she had as breakfast.
"When me and my boyfriend sim race, we totally forget the time. It's his passion and I like to challenge him in something he thinks he's best in. I think it was 3am when I finally went to bed, luckily I found a some cans of Red Bull. You can also thank my boyfriend for that, he drinks that sh*t as if it's water."
Y/n takes the whole incident with stride, jokingly saying that she will have to repeat this routine if she wants to win gold the next time.
user SIM RACING WITH HER BOYFRIEND???
‷ user don't know if we should thank him or not
‷ user you'll probably never be able to thank him, y/n and her bf have been together for years now but she never revealed who it is
‷ user does she even have a boyfriend??
‷ user check her insta, she's been posting the same man for a long time now
user SHE'S SO FUCKING UNSERIOUS I LOVE THAT
user she's literally the definition of genz
user i don't care what anyone else says, this right here is queen shit behavior
‷ user i crown thee, y/n l/n, to the queen of whatever this whole mess is
redbull See! Red Bull gives you wings, we take no longer any criticsm
‷ user you better sign her up
‷ user imagine she actually lands a red bull sponsorship just because of this
yourusername lol, that was fun
‷ user LOL???
‷ user i can't do this anymore 😭😭
maxverstappen1 👏👏
‷ user MAX?!
‷ user game recognizes game fr
user i don't know what's better. the camera catching her downing her third red bull right before the race or her cursing after she won
‷ user meme of the year fr
YOURUSERNAME
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liked by maxverstappen1, redbull and 1'552'082 others
yourusername happy to announce that i'm flying with @/redbull now! if one red bull doesn't work, try three. i won gold with it 😉
user SHE DID IT!!! Y/N NATION WE WON!!!
‷ user now only the x games left
user can't wait for the insane promo shots
‷ user bet she will do tricks from a cliff, right after drinking four red bulls
‷ user straight from the skilift is my bet
redbull Proof that Red Bull gives you wings! Welcome to the family y/n â€ïžđŸ’™
‷ yourusername â€ïžđŸ’™
user ahh the bigs smile makes me so happy, she deserves it
maxverstappen1 Welcome to the winners
‷ yourusername thank you champ, i'll enjoy my stay!
user MAX LIKED AND COMMENTED
‷ user MAXY/N NATION WE WON TODAY‌‌
‷ user can we not pls... she has a bf
mathilde_gremaud welcome to the team y/n, so happy to see you here!!
‷ yourusername thank you 😚
user i love red bull athletes welcoming newcomers
‷ user a big family fr
‷ user big and batshit crazy
‷ user never said they're not lol
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YOURUSERNAME
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liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 2'003'863 others
yourusername the moment this trophy comes in our home i will throw it off the balcony. how dare you not kiss ME when you won your fourth world championship?!
all jokes aside, maxie, i'm so fucking proud of you, my #1 racer, my favorite dutchman and cat dad đŸ«¶ to many more years of red bull domination (max and y/n version) love you sm!!
maxverstappen1 You will not touch my trophy.
maxverstappen1 Don't worry, I'll kiss you until you're sick of me
‷ yourusername impossible!!!
‷ user STOP THIS
‷ user ew, that's sickening sweet (pls don't stop you guys are the sweetest)
maxverstappen1 I love you too, schatje
‷ yourusername i love you more
‷ maxverstappen1 Not possible? đŸ€š
‷ landonorris okay we got it, you both love each other stop this shit
‷ yourusername @/landonorris get out of my comments if you don't like it norizz
‷ user WHEN IS IT MY TURN??
‷ user not lando catching strays 😭
user IT HAS BEEN MAX ALL ALONG???
‷ user five years of softlaunching... only for us to be hit by the biggest hard launch of the decade
redbull The Red Bull Powercoupleâ„ąïž
‷ user simply lovely!
landonorris fucking finally! now max can bother someone else with his yapping
‷ yourusername max doesn't do yapping, he just loves talking about međŸ«¶
‷ landonorris well, i got sick of it!! i literally should've ruined your softlaunch and tell the press about you guys
‷ maxverstappen1 That's not what a friend would do
‷ user HOW DID LANDO KEEP THIS SECRET FOR SO LONG??
‷ user i bet y/n threatened him with violence
‷ landonorris she did.
‷ user HELP?!
user if max can comment on his girlfriend's post like a sap WHY CAN'T OTHER MEN AS WELL??
‷ user they will never be max verstappen...
user brb, the highway is calling me
user con 😭 gra 😭 tu 😭 la 😭 tions 😭😭😭
‷ user the bf was real... i fear i'm not strong enough to fight him for mother y/n...
‷ user at least she's happy!!! (i'm actually crying my parasocial relationship is officially over)
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taglist. @keyz-writes , @obsidianjewel , @aimixx , @themercyverse , @lem-hhn , @lupicalbestwolf , @akiraquote , @lilypadlover , @adorablezhui , @peqch-pie
DO YOU WANT TO JOIN THE TAGLIST? please send a non-anon ask to be added to the taglist. taglist can be general taglist (all fandoms and all works), fandom taglist (all works within the fandom), series (all works for specific series) or nsfw taglist (all nsfw works and all fandoms).
crossed off tags mean i can't tag you!
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ARKHAM MAID 2024
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woodsfae · 2 months ago
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Having co-workers I have regular (daily) meetings with is so interesting, because I have never felt like I have so little in common with a group of people before in my liiiiife. Even in the depths of my PTSD brain 10+ years ago I always felt like I had things in common with my various co-workers, just like I was speaking a different language, underwater, through plexi-glass and having trouble breaching all the barriers.
Not these people, though. We have one thing in common: we care enough about USA politics to take a job 100% focused on USA politics. We have a small team meeting daily but for the days we have a big team meeting once a week, or a national meeting biweekly. There's always a check-in question, and I always have an unpopular answer, it's genuinely hilarious.
When the large, national team meeting divided into birthday months for a breakout room and all the December babies derailed the actual check-in question (trying to find birthday twins, we didn't have any) and ended up talking about how they loved Christmas the most. When they asked me specifically if I liked Christmas best (I wasn't going to rain on their parade unless they asked) and I was like "I am not a holiday person and I've tried to get into Christmas, but I don't really like it, so I prefer to have game nights or get out and cross country ski in the winter than prepare for Christmas," they did not like that. I was told multiple times to "just give it a try," lmao. However, my irl experience is that December babies often hate Christmas, because their birthdays were so often subsumed into the holiday, so they were weird to me on an extra level for that, too. Also two people started talking about skiing injuries, which was kinda funny. "Oh, you like to cross country ski? Well once I tore my meniscus downhill skiing, checkmate." Like what, all I can do is laugh.
When the check-in question was "Do you have any fun plans for the long weekend?" and other people had a plethora of answers from going out with friends to video games to sleeping in. And I was like "My partner and I are going to explore a mountain biking trail complex we've never been to before!" and literally no one else had ever mountain biked even once, lol.
I took a day off to create a long weekend to go see my bestie who moved across the state recently and my smaller team asked what we did when I got back and I was like "hot springs and camping!" and they were like "camp...camping...outside. camping. hm. and sitting in water that the ground heated. wow you live a crazy life up there in Montana," and that's one of the most basic weekends I can imagine. We were car camping too, it's not even like we did some crazy backpacking.
And today in the medium-sized regional meeting, when the check-in question was "Would you rather be a vampire or a werewolf," and not only did everyone but one other person say vampire, but after I said werewolf and explained why - upon explicit request (eat a normal diet, have a regular schedule to plan around, be able to be outside regardless of lore, possibly have extra strength and durability to hike faster/farther, not have to eat people) - the next several people to respond (all vampire) specifically bashed werewolves in their responses (how like a vamp amirite).
I'm not upset or even offended, it's just a bit weird to feel like a completely unique and slightly alienated type of person compared to my co-workers.
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chenswire · 1 year ago
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Now that you said it I’m really curious about the foods in swummer files and voice lines now😳 not knowing Chinese is a pain sometimes.
copypasting this following paragraph from a writeup i did for a friend so it might sound a little more deranged than usual
in swummer's profile archive 4 they say the LGD officers will sometimes secretly(đŸ€š) compare the difference between chen and swire's leadership styles in private; when following chen you have to yolo speedrun with her and will need half a day to recover from it while following swire requires you to multitask but in a controlled and not chaotic way and everything is very clearcut etc etc everyone generally agrees that they both 'seem to have 8 heads each, if i were in their shoes i would have been a goner after the first day' and it ends with rat king and wei two lungmen boomers drinking tea talking about the two of them too i was like ???? telenovela moment??? well not as crazy as the archive also saying that chen's desk was vacant (read: untouched and not taken over) for 2 years before swire tidied it up and put all the stuff into a box (read: not throwing them away) and labeling chen's (full) name on it (very normal about this meaningless detail)
Voice lines time
Talk 3
ć’łâ€Šâ€ŠæŁ€æŸ„äș†äž€äž‹æœ€èż‘çš„èĄŒćŠšèź°ćœ•ïŒŒçœ‹ćŸ—ć‡șèż™ć‡ ćčŽæ„ïŒŒçœ—ćŸ·ćČ›çš„æˆ˜æœŻäčŸæ›Žäž“äžšäș†ïŒŒäžé”™äžé”™â€Šâ€Šć“ˆïŒŸäœœäžșæ›Ÿç»çš„èź­ç»ƒéĄŸé—źçœ‹çœ‹ä»»ćŠĄèź°ćœ•äžæ˜ŻćŸˆæ­Łćžžć—ïŒŸæˆ‘æ‰æČĄæœ‰ć·çœ‹é™ˆçš„è”„æ–™ïŒ Ahem...! I just checked your recent operation records, and it seems like Rhodes Island's tactics have significantly improved (lit: even more professional) in the past few years, not bad at all
 HAH? Isn't it completely normal (CNT: Is there a problem) for a former instructor to be interested in this sort of thing? I-I didn't sneak a peek at Chen's data!
Talk after promotion 1
ćœ“äžŠć±€é•żäčŸæȥ什äčˆć€§äžäș†çš„ïŒŒæ— éžæ˜Żä»»ćŠĄé‡äș†ç‚čă€æ“ćżƒçš„äș‹ć€šäș†ç‚čïŒŒæ›Žèƒœç†è§Łé™ˆäș†ç‚čâ€Šâ€Šć•ŠïŒŒć†ćŒșè°ƒäž€éïŒŒæˆ‘æ˜ŻæŽ„çźĄèż‘ć«ć±€ïŒŒäžæ˜ŻæŽ„é™ˆçš„ç­ïŒć°±çź—ć„čçŽ°ćœšć›žæ„ïŒŒäčŸæ˜ŻèŠć«æˆ‘â€œé•żćź˜â€çš„ïŒ Becoming the (department) Chief isn't that big of a deal. It's just that my work and responsibilities have increased by a little bit, and I can also understand Chen a little more... Ah! I'll say this again, I'm not taking over her position, but the entire LGD! So even if she comes back now, she'll have to call me Chief!
I like how she uses the same syntax? for all three, but I couldn't figure out how to word the [(noun) (verb) 民民] pattern succinctly in english AND keep the nuances lol skill issue... repeating 'a little bit more' thrice just sounds so wordy yea but anyway
the first two is 重 (heavier so a increase in both amount and importance) and 怚 (more) but CNT has the last verb as æ·±(deeper) and also instead of æ“ćżƒ its 烊 which is more like 'bother' than 'worry' aren't nuances great yippee
in her JP dub she says ă‚ăźăƒă‚«éŸ on the last chen mention while CN/CNT just uses the equivalent of 'her' instead of ä»†èĄ—éŸ but understandable because the word is a little strong lmao but im taking the nuance of her using è€Œćź¶èż”ćšŸ as opposed to çŸćœšć›žäŸ† as a W regardless (something like come home vs go back)
this line is also referenced in a 123 rhodes comic strip
she does call her ä»†èĄ—éŸ in her module when talking to Hoshiguma though i'm tell you
ćˆ«çœ‹é‚ŁäžȘäș†ïŒŒ ćż«ćžźæˆ‘ćˆ†ćˆ†ç€Œç‰©ă€‚èż™æ˜Żç»™äœ çš„ć†Čæ”ȘæżïŒŒèż™æ˜Żç»™è‡­è€éŒ çš„ç«ć±±æł„éąè†œïŒŒèż™æ˜Żç»™æ‰‘èĄ—éŸ™çš„ć”±ç‰‡â€”â€”ç­‰ć„čć›žæ„è‡Șć·±æ‹żć§ïŒŒèż˜æœ‰ç»™è€é­çš„æ°Žæžœçœć€Žâ€Šâ€Š Stop looking at that thing already and help me sort out my souvenirs. This surfboard is for you, this lava mud mask is for that cau lau syu, this album is for that puuk gai lung—she can take this herself when she comes back, and there's the canned fruit for old Wei...
>>>>>>>>>>等ć„čć›žæ„è‡Șć·±æ‹żć§ a more literal TL would be like '(you can kinda fit a I'll/we'll in here..???Let's) wait for her to come back here to take it herself'
this and the box thing from her profile the 'waiting for her wife to return from the war' vibes is off the charts tehe still hoping we get an actual voiced Puuk Gai Lung (swire edition) one day though (looks at global)
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genderick-lamar · 3 months ago
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tysmmmm 😭 i have adhd and i have been hyperfixating on this beef for months now, on kendricks side obviously because i have a brain and also because i am asian and im in the poverty and drug strucken part of my city, the government doesnt give a shit and we have decades old buildings that are crumbling kinda place, i really related to things kendrick has said because i have also witnessed so much violence and police goes here everyday and alarms of ambulence is just background noise atp
so it irks me so much when someone as privileged as drake that has never experienced what me and my family have and still do and COSPLAYING this lifestyle made me SOOOOO mad
and its like WTD is another white canadian, WHO ARE U TO TALK CULTURE!??? i listened to his videos on kendricks disses and im just like??? these are things that can be picked up on like, your 3rd listen, black tiktokers have way better and in depth analysis of every diss kendrick has done, im just so tired of people flocking to cosplayers of the culture for their opinion of the culture rather than uplifting those in the culture
ALSO ALSO i deleted reddit recently thankgod bc that place is a fucking cesspool but i checked on drizzy subreddit and i have never seen anti blackness, homophobia and transphobia rampant in a community, like bro its been 5-6 months yall are NOW making shit up about kdot, running along with your crazy and insulting conspiracies!?!? its just crazy to me!
Yeah Kendrick's music is incredibly authentic and from the heart. He's able to paint vivid pictutures of situations bc he's actually been there which makes him incredibly relatable especially if u have been there too. Meanwhile Drake is rapping about giving money to the cops and acting tough like Degrassi doesn't exist lmao. Lecrae was on point when he said Drake is a fan of the culture while Kendrick is a product of it. Though in the spirit of fairness I do have to say that before becoming an actor he did live, as far as i know, a fairly working class life. It just wasn't a life that got him in proximity to the struggle in the way that yours or Kendrick's upbringing definitely did, and it shows.
What's the dirt is literally just a parasite with fancy video production tho and you can tell by the way he's responding to criticism. If he actually cared about the culture in any way he wouldn't be so defensive. And like of course there are black creators with much more insight and knowledge that do incredible breakdowns but he's even bad for white commentator standards imo lmao.
I deleted reddit too bc it was truly getting on my nerves 😂 The drizzy sub just shows what type of audience of weirdos Drake has fostered since he started alienating his original female audience with his tough guy misogynist act. They're literally Qanon it's wild lmao. Kendrick has conspiracy fans too (a much smaller amount) but i check up on them frequently bc they are crazy but at least they're extremely funny and not generally bigoted.
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skitskatdacat63 · 4 months ago
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misc lore drop day 35/?
How would your OC spend a single day of interrupted peace? Where would they go or who would they be with?
Hehe this one is more simple, so I’ll answer it for all of the old man polycule!! I like this one a lot actually because I think they’re all stuck around each other a lot, so it’s very interesting to think about. Thank you to @jango-tango for this one :)
Seb 
I’ve talked about this before but, Seb loves to hang out with Jenson when he wants to feel peaceful because: 1. They’re not in a constant pissing contest like he is with Fernando(even though he enjoys it, it is A LOT.) 2. Jenson is not bound to service to him in the same way Mark is(he loves Mark but they’re on the same level, y’know?) Jense and him bond over horses, and being very individual people. Seb is of course at the top of the totem pole, and Jenson on the other hand chose his own destiny, so I think that whole “no strings attached to others” situation they both have appeals to them. Jense is technically bound to him, but he also had a whole separate, fulfilling life of his own. So yeah, I think Seb would go take a little jaunt down to the stables, and talk with Jenson about horses and war(ye olde F1 races LMAO.)
Fernando 
Hmmm I can think of two things he would probably go do. He would either spend that time with own confidants from Spain, such as Edouardo and Alberto. However! He also loves to spend time with Kimi, funnily enough. Kimi will let Fernando villain monologue to him, as long as they’re having some nice alcohol. Fernando is perfectly happy to bring some Spanish wines to him. Just like Seb with Jense, Fernando values that kind of impartial observer who really has no stake in the game like he himself does. I love to imagine Fernando getting super drunk like “I’M A KING DOESN’T HE GET THAT” and Kimi is like, “bwoah, you are.” But yeah, otherwise he likes to spend time with his own people, so he can escape that outsider feeling. I wonder what the olde version of karting would be
riding ponies

Mark 
Oh my god
.Mark is literally bound to Seb probably like 95% of the time so him having interrupted solitude/peace would be kinda crazy for him(actually for a future one I need to talk about how the arranged marriage messes up his life as well.) I think he’d really struggle to not want to go check up on Seb or not just sit there getting worried about what Seb’s up to. Yeah, he’s a mother hen, a sheep dog, a guard dog. HOWEVER. He’d probably spend it with his hunting dogs, sorry, I mean the palace’s hunting dogs. This is a tangent but, I love the idea he insists on them getting a menagerie of different breeds. Because back then obviously different social classes and people with different needs had different dog breeds. But he’d be like, Seb, please, I implore you, let us collect every breed. But he of course prefers his hunting dogs because they like to get active, and they’re very loyal and noble(like him!!) He’s constantly in a difficult place as the non ruler spending his time around extremely high level royals. I think the dogs calm him down, their unwavering loyalty reminds him of himself. Perhaps a youthful page boy named Oscar, who shares a hometown, comes across him and starts joining him to take care of the dogs

Jenson
Honestly Jense’s day to day is “interrupted peace.” Remember, he mostly gave up his wild, war hero life so he could chill out with his horses. Of course if need be, he’d fight for the Empire at a moment’s notice. But for now, he’s quite settled. I said in the posts above that they’re all stuck with each other, but Jense is the outlier for the most part. He has the freedom to walk away when need be and not spend every moment caught up in the psychosexual politics of their inner court. So maybe he would take time off this duty to go bother Nico. They’re such opposite princes honestly, Jense loves to tease him about how prissy he is, “don’t you wanna just roll around in the hay sometimes?” Jenson honestly has too much peace, so it’s fun for him to try and rile up those around him when he has true free time. 
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m1ckeyb3rry · 6 months ago
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Omg megumi and Yuta are my favs after Inumaki LMAO (I’m Lowk salty that we did not get ANY lore exploration of Inumaki but maybe it’s better that way so he stays alive atp)
No the hating mainstream things to be “unique” is so eugh honestly like just because somethings mainstream doesn’t mean it’s basic
but exactly I’ve definitely lost the spark with jjk I think it just got too confusing? And I was losing the essence of the story and idk I know geges said before that that they’ve wanted to end jjk earlier but something about the editor saying no
? I feel like sometimes the lack of motivation kinda peeks through with how the story was done
.which I get because writers block/art block and just burn out in general is so real I just wish circumstances were different lmao

Also yeah the “jjk has the best female characters” ideation
hmm..it’s def better than the blatantly sexualized ones but at this point it kinda feels like a bare minimum/low standard thing that they ARENT sexualized like in most shounen content that makes people say this (i agree like wtf happened with yuki we barely saw her honestly?? Don’t get me started on tsumiki i was expecting them to take a route where maybe she’d actually wake up and play a more conscious role but what the hell was that)
NO LITERALLY im all for analysis and leaving some things open ended but idk in jjk it was just excessive that it turned into confusion like
the constant guessing and insane analysis that needed to be done to clarify things or try to parse things together is not my favorite
agreed that the story should not have to rely on deep level analysis to be understood!
Yeah I’ve definitely lost my emotional ties with jjk its just like well I got this far i might as well see how it ends
LMAO WIGGLY that made me think of a worm on a string but I see what you mean! One track soccer mind doesn’t give much room to explore lolll but it was executed very well hehe
LMAOO it’s the pipeline of shitting on side characters to loving them but I can’t with his hair cut
also don’t think he’s ugly like I guess he’s objectively relatively good looking? But yeah I never fully saw the appeal (it’s funny because I know a good amount of people who prefer him to Rin when I’m the opposite lol) and the Gojo aura LOL
THE ACCURACY IS INSANE the way I would have never known if you didn’t mention it (I don’t think I would’ve even noticed if I wrote it) the fact checking goes crazy LMAO but I love it honestly the research def gives the story more depth and feel to it rather than just a one shot/story that kinda just floats in the void of the universe or something
gives it ties to reality and an actual grounding in the world! (This was worded so badly lmao)
It’s always Karasu
.I think it’s partially also because some manga scenes of him are a little goofy because they give him that smile that almost cuts across his entire face to give him that kinda evil looking smirk
.and the anime style kinda striking that awkward balance of maintaining those features but not putting enough detail to go full asshole def makes it a little goofy LOL (but in art they put more effort into like the S2 trailer/teaser visual he looks great with all the shading)
And LMAOO IKR!!! I always think back to that I’m like KURONA WAS 4??? Bro wasn’t even on the field in the u20 match so I was Lowk a bit shocked haha, iirc Kiyora was also 5?? Like the discrepancy makes me laugh ik people probably developed during the second selection but the drastic change always gets me
Your tag with the arrow has me feeling idk why I found that so funny LOL
Also SHSHS drowsy allergy medicine is the worst
I hope you weren’t having a severe reaction or anything and also that you feel better soon!!!
-Karasu anon
there’s def a lot of areas where there could be more lore (rika’s character page is so odd??) just because of how many characters there are i think!! but i do feel like the story is wrapping up so some things might just be left as questions. or not, who knows!!
yeah there’s def a cycle of like thing gets popular -> everyone loves it -> it becomes so over saturated that people start hating on it to be different -> it becomes overhated -> in a few years everyone realizes it wasn’t that bad. the biggest problem w the “hating as a trend” is that it takes away from legitimate criticisms of the work, as fans will lump it into general hating for no reason.
besides just analyses being so important for even basic comprehension of the plot, i’ve noticed a lot of the storyline is dependent on random interviews gege has done. like nobara’s death only being confirmed because of an interview years after it was written is RIDICULOUS to me (even though i already thought she was dead tbh but there was enough speculation in the fandom that it obviously wasn’t clear enough in-story). things like interviews and character pages should give you fun additional information that can help you expand on a character (oh rin likes horror games!! karasu is scared of the water!! etc etc) but it shouldn’t be the MAIN source of KEY info on a character. idk i think a lot of people love what jjk could be at this point and not necessarily what it is.
YESS i honestly was not super pleased by the female characters in jjk!! they are cool, and they COULD be well written, but they aren’t. i think in terms of its contemporaries, demon slayer does female characters better than jjk (again, not saying they’re perfect because they aren’t, but, say, shinobu is a stronger character to me than even maki).
jjk is a sunk cost fallacy for me HAHA i’ve been into it for over 2.5 years now so i have to see how it ends but i don’t really care atp what happens 😭 i’m like an unbiased outsider
idk it’s sad i wish i could’ve stayed invested but i only even know leaks are dropping because my social media blows up whenever they do.
OMG i also think rin is better looking than sae but i find sae easier to write for some reason?? idk why đŸ˜« like sae is canonically only interested in soccer at least rin likes horror stuff but honestly between the two of them it feels easier to separate sae from soccer than rin?? if only marginally so hahaha. sae occasionally expresses regret at only knowing abt soccer so i feel like he’d be more willing to open himself to new experiences if sufficiently prodded whereas rin is SO invested in soccer (because soccer = his relationship w his brother) that he doesn’t even seem like he could have a proper friendship w someone let alone an actual relationship 😔
it really is always karasu
i do think manga can get away w exaggerating certain features (ex karasu’s smirk) that anime can’t so they have to figure out a way to balance it — maybe it’s the static nature of manga vs the motion of anime?? although karasu hasn’t been smirking much in pxg vs bm 😕 give my boy his swag otoya back!! HAHA but i also think he was such a background character in that one scene of season one that they just didn’t gaf abt him. he’s looked really good in all of the s2 promotional material so i have faith he will be done well!!
KURONA AND KIYORA MY RANDOM AHH KINGS đŸ™đŸ» they came outta nowhere but they’re slaying atm
ig the hundred goal thing only tested a very specific aspect of playing soccer?? like shooting without anyone on you which doesn’t really translate to an actual game đŸ€” like in bllk vs u20 they needed defenders and midfielders who wouldn’t necessarily score but were integral to the game đŸ‘†đŸ» plus they didn’t all go in at the same time so better players like tabieitaken and shidou were ranked lower than randoms like tokimitsu probably just because they entered later đŸ€·đŸ»â€â™€ïž
it wasn’t that bad!! i just got like overwhelmingly sleepy because i haven’t taken any in forever so i just crashed instead of staying up longer like i usually so haha. but i’m hoping to get the one shot out soon!! it’s pretty dumb but more karasu content is more karasu content đŸ€©
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kulemii · 1 year ago
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Lover Pretend Ep. 1 Thoughts & Recap*
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*(not professional by any means. some dialogue may be heavily paraphrased because i think i'm funny and i make my mama laugh*.)
Potential Spoilers Ahead
well, i've met all of the potential love interests and just as i thought from my intial card reading, my interest lies in: eiichirou, riku and yukito. no beef with the other two they just aren't my type! though, i will say, so far i do think that kazuma is a sweetheart. if you haven't read my thoughts on each character from the prologue you can check them out in the kulemiiplaysloverpretend tag.
with that out of the way, i can start rambling about episode 1! so, i wanted to write as i went along but i started super late at night and wound up falling asleep. i probably forgot some shit but i'm gonna try to hit on what stood out to me most, okay? then the rest i'll do as i go along as planned!
this chapter we followed mc and eiichirou asagi to her first day at the studio as an official staff member of "team makino". she introduces herself to two new characters (supporting cast, and actually quite literally supporting cast-- i'll get to that):
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takaya hanai (40)- he's popular for being a supporting actor and never really main cast- crazy but go off king. i'm not shaming. i just thought that was funny thing to specify lmao. so, takaya is HUGE. like, his sprite is larger than everyone else's and if you know anything about me, that's right up my alley. he's super light hearted and playful. he seems like the type to try to keep spirits high and keep a cheery attitude. he's cool. he made a comment about having of money tho. and i'm like, you fine ass hell. don't make me run your pockets old man. as it stands rn, i would be his sugar baby and not care nothing bout it- MOVING ON
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yuzo makino (52)- he's the director everyone's been dickriding since we started playing this game. he's got ALL the accolades apparently. i like his voice. he seems very no nonsense. he's super blunt and to the point with all of his lines. i'll be honest, he sooo.. he seems to be the type to not speak if it's not necessary to do so? because like, there have been times where i deadass forgot he was even IN THE SCENE he was that quiet. he seems to be very professional. he told mc he values her opinion and i thought that was dope because she's literally just a nobody staffer and he doesn't seem to want to treat her like that. perhaps because she's got asagi backing her? go off, sis!
so, now that i've mentioned them, i can tell you about how after meeting these two harumi tiptoes his ass in the room not wanting to speak to anybody and takaya puts him in a headlock for it LMAO. no joke.
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then forces him to introduce himself to mc whilst in said headlock. oh! by the way, i completely forgot to mention, i wasn't sure before if mc was one of eiichirou's students or not- well, mc introduces herself as such. so, if it wasn't confirmed before, it certainly is now 😬
annnnnyway, after the headlock, takaya decides to shove the two kids (harumi and mc) out of the door on their first team makino staff mission: secure snacks.
and girl, tell me why 😭 tell me why mc ass was like "u-um.. snacks?? is that some kinda industry lingo?đŸ€Ą" and harumi was like, "bruh nah, it's snacks. like snacks. tf ?"
oh but before i get to what happened outside, there was something about harumi i peeped that i wanted to mention! when speaking about his father, he refers to him as "Director Makino". both me and mc was like ???
idk, so, harumi seems kinda weird about his dad. riku also seems to have something going on with his dad? mc doesn't know her father! i'm getting ahead of myself but yukito's father and mother divorced when he was in junior high and his dad left him behind with his mother. idk nothing about eiichirou's or kazuma's dads yet but shit they prolly gone too and hell, my dad's dead! so, i pulled out my whiteboard, ran the numbers (by hand, mind you) and found out that THIS, this is the daddy issues game! COME ONE, COME ALL! lmaooo
where was i? ...oh! right, so, we go to the convienence store or whatever to secure the snacks and harumi and mc have The Most Loser ass interaction. they're so funny. honestly, i think making fun of them is gonna be the highlight of this game for me- if my posts are ever found by someone that likes harumi, sorry babe lmao. so basically it went like this:
H: hey, can i have the drinks?
Mc: what? no. if you're thirsty you should've gotten your own when we were in the store 🙄
H: K.
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MC: *internally* omg, he wanted to CARRY THE BAGS!!!!
MC: *to harumi* earlier, you wanted to carry the bags, didn't you?
H: it doesn't matter anymore! (now carrying the bags)
MC *internally* he's nice and all but he should really work on his communication skills đŸ€“
GIRL! you should work on your critical thinking skills! lmao why didn't you just ask him what he meant??? why you had to grill his ass about being thirsty??? like damn 😭 wild interaction
right, so, she goes into another store or whatever and i forgot to mention that while they were walking, something apparently caught harumi's eye? so while she was in there, he dips without shooting her a message or anything to let her know where he went. when she comes out she's like ??? and LMAO she had, i think, two assumptions on what might've happened; either 1) he got tired of waiting and went back to the studio without her or 2) saw an elderly person walking (i think with heavy stuff) and went to help them. idk that was funny, like you're IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CITY why is that your only two options? she just assumed ol' dude is a good samaritan. haha. good for her, though. that's that pure hearted heroine shit, front and center.
well, she was WRONG. poor harumi and is being SWARMED by snakes! lmao, jk, it's worse than that, it's some thirsty bitches from this unofficial fanclub that's like obsessed with him and can't take a hint. they're all in his shit and won't leave him alone. so, mc swoops in to save the day! PRETEND TIME, BABY! if you read my prologue posts, you know, idk how routing works yet, and you also know that i do not have interest in harumi- needless to say, i did not want this to go well. i was just concerned with not giving these girls the impression that harumi and mc were dating.
like, one of them implied that if they were she'd have been STABBED by his fanclub or something???? WHUUUUUT? knifed???😭over HARUMI đŸ‘ŽđŸŸđŸ‘ŽđŸŸHNNHG!
luckily i managed to pull through and mc got out with the exact amount of holes she came in with. so, she should thank me for that. then, she and harumi walked back in silence-- couldn't have been me though because i would've had QUESTIONS! because um SIR what these bitches mean, i would've been stabbed????
after they return with the snacks, they get down to business- business being looking over the resumes and then we see a couple familiar (beautiful) faces.
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turns ooout, riku actually was an actor on Pretend to Love himself when he was a child alongside his father.
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despite being a model whose only acting experience is limited to comic relief and cameos, yukito has name recognition by way of his father. though, it would seem that his name isn't associated with the cleanest of reputations. they call his dad a philanderer LMAO. guess that apple don't fall too far from the tree. director makino says that they even look alike, which scares me because yukito is hot. so an older version of that must be TO DIE for đŸ€€. i get stabbed by a fanclub over that. i will say though, although they called his daddy a hoe, they did give him his flowers and say that he was good at what he does and it was a shame he left the industry..
side note: why all the slutty boys gotta be february babies? at least they didn't make it so on the nose that they made his bday valentine's day lmaoo (i'm look at you, jinguuji)
because of the appearance of these two, mc started thinking about her MIA father again. she's not good at hiding it i guess because it got the attention of both asagi and the director. it was at this point that they asked if she was interested in anyone. i was given the choice of riku, yukito, harumi OR "no one in particular". curiosity got the best of me, so i made a save file and then chose that option to see what would happen and then, she wound up thinking of kazuma.
sooo, if i have to guess, this is where it branches off into routes? and where i choose? with that likely assumption being at the forefront, i backtracked and chose riku!
after doing so, hanai mentioned that riku had been trending lately and asagi followed up by saying that of the candidates, riku might've been the most fit option given that the director even knows of him. the meeting is adjourned. everyone goes home. eiichirou and mc have a bit of a moment, i suppose? we get a time skip!
basically, it's the day of the big audition and we get a scene between harumi and mc and i won't go into specifics about what was said because nothing really interesting happened except it does establish that harumi's has opened up more to her which is cool. also, we get this moment:
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when i say, took me out-- it's not funny but like, at the same time, i was not expecting that kinda language here lmao
at some point after this, the camera man starts barking orders for someone to go and grab a tripod for him. harumi offers to do it but he's not very firm (is he ever?) and mc decides to do it herself. while she's out in the hall looking for the tripod she hears a familiar voice. this guy:
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kazuma! and he and mc have a really cute moment~ ya know after he tells her, "damn b, you look like a ghost. you sick or something???" he pulls her to the side and he does her makeup for her. we get some background info- apparently this isn't his first time doing her make up. mc tends to struggle with her finances so, he would practice doing her hair and makeup at "huge" discounts and stuff. mc was being all bashful but listen, if it were me?? i wasn't even into kazuma but with the tone of voice he was using?? i would've folded HAHA i would have 😭i'm sorry bout it. it was too sweet.
nah, i say that but when given the opportunity to respond to the moment, i chose the harsher option because again- routing. annnnnd that somehow turned into mc beating on him?? lmao! she even thought he looked cool but she got embarassed and responded with abuse. sooo, that's a great look. đŸ‘đŸŸđŸ‘đŸŸ ok, girlie, tsundere much?
ah, a little note, kazuma referred to her as "ueda-senpai" now that they're technically colleagues which i thought was super cute!
then we meet kazuma's actual senpai- she's a baddie. when girls have beauty marks on their face>>>>>>>>>:
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yu kayama (27)- she was kazuma's senior in cosmetology school. she's one of the bosses at their agency and i guess kind of a hotshot? she's super hard on kazuma. she be beating his ass too. he's not getting it easy with the women in his life, i'll tell you that. she's mean af to him but she was really nice to mc. could be because she's a makino staffer but could also be because she's just a kazuma hater? i'll be watching on the sidelines with the shades on to get to the root of this. yu and mc seemed to hit it off really quick though. wanna see more of that. girlfriends when?
after this interaction, mc's break is over and she's sent out on another errand where she runs into none other than~
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mr. yukita seeeeena with his hot girl shades on! mc mistakes him for a salesman of some kind and tries to blow him off but just as she walks away, she realizes that she recognizes him. so she asks for confirmation and he's actually shocked that she knows who he is... this is like the second time he's seemingly shocked about being acknowleged. idk why but that piques my interest, so i'm sticking a pin in that 📌.
anyway, turns out homeboy just wanted directions- not sell her a vase or carpet or whatever she said lmao. her assumptions about people are so funny. yeah, so, conveniently yukito is lost and looking for directions to the studio that mc just so happens to work at! he's on his way to the auditions that are being set up.
okay, so, sidebar-- this part kinda irritated me. so, mc says:
"If I recall correctly, he was on the list of candidates who passed the screening."
and let me tell you why that bothered me: she's been OBSESSING over his father for god knows how long. her heart damn near stopped when she saw his resume that first day and like, sure, i am aware she's been busy- but i find it hard to believe that she wouldn't be keeping a close eye on one of the characters who is so very close to the mystery that been plaguing her since childhood. sorry, not to nitpick and i'm not trying to rag on our girl but that was just a gripe i have to get off my chest. i dont like that. đŸ‘ŽđŸŸđŸ‘ŽđŸŸhnng.
back to this, so, yukito asks for directions with the promise of some unspoken reward and mc's like, sure, uhhh, don't need whatever that is but i can take you bestie. while they're walking yukito is whining about his manager flaking on him because he got sick and mc is being kinda dry with him- which, girl, ??? you didn't like that when harumi was being cold to you. why are you suddenly incapable of small talk?? didn't like that either.đŸ‘ŽđŸŸđŸ‘ŽđŸŸhnng.. she deduces that yukito is "flippant" all the while gets it going with her staring problem again- this time with him AND THIS TIME, I GET IT! when yukito asks what's up she tells him he has a nice profile and he's like, "uh ya babe lol i know đŸ’…đŸ» this is me all day no filter" like...
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he took off his shades and then THIS HAPPENED
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and i'm just telling you right now.. IF IT WERE ME???? I WOULD HAVE FOLDED LIKE A LAWN CHAIR. but that's just me though. i don't got time to be befuddled like this, okay? he looks like he smells like sauvage by dior- i've never smelled that shit but it sounds like it smells like panties around the ankles and manicured hands on the wall, alright??? i want him, right now. LESSGO!
uhhhhh? oh! so she's like, "my guy?? what is you doing??" and he's like, "lol, what's it look like? thanking you, you silly billy 💞 so what'll it be? autograph, handshake and hug sound good for your troubles?"
mc is freaking out internally because he's all up on her and she's not really good with dealing with men. she wanted to slap him but she remembered her job, so she didn't and i was prompted to respond. now, remember: i want this man. so i chose what i thought was the best option for once lmao which was "decline politely"
this confuses yukito and he's like, "waaah? so you don't want none of that? and you know i'm famous? but... you went out of your way to help me? and you kept staring at my face?" (that last part is not me paraphrasing to be funny lmao he actually said that) he thought that because she did all those things she MUST have been a fan.
mc was like, "nah bruh. i was literally JUST doing my job. not personal interest. stop being weird." there was a silence between then yukito burst out laughing and was basically like "damn b, there's a such thing as being too honest but you funny tho. i'll give you that."
after that, it's time for the auditions! oh man, this chapter is long- idk if it's because i keep stopping to update this recap or if this chapter is vastly longer than the prologue was but damn, does it just keep going. i mean, i'm not really complaining. just an observation.
director makino is out btw and from what i took from the conversation, this is going to be a regular occurence. he's just too busy of a man to be on set of his own movie, i suppose ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. so, asagi is heading up the operation with resident supporting cast sexy man takaya hanai assisting by acting or reading along with the auditionees. we get to see little snippets of some randos' auditions all the way up until candidate number 21 which isssss:
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you guessed it and his appearance caused a bit of a stir amongst the panel. can you sayyyy dick riding?
apparently because he's an experienced actor unlike the last 20 candidates so far, director makino has different rules for him and others like him. those rules being that he isn't able to perform his audition with hanai, he must perform with an amateur. with this being the stipulation, hanai looks around the room and who does he choose? none other than:
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me.
that lead us to a riku Pretend Time and the objective was to 'bring out riku's acting prowess' or something like that. listen, i REAAAALLY wanted this to work out. so this was the first pretend time i actually took seriously and what do you know? ya gworl got a 100% complete! I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THAT WAS POSSIBLE! they've only ever said 'success' before lmao. so i guess i was just barely skirting by. his pretend time was soooo good! it had me on the edge of my seat getting to see him in actor mode! he did really well- all thanks to me đŸ’…đŸŸofc
after that was number 22, mr. yukito sena sans sunglasses. and chile, when i tell youuuu. the judges started gossiping like bitches omg. they were running their mouths amongst themselves about his father's scandal. saying stuff about how he's only there to generate buzz basically but they're sure the director wouldn't choose him. stuff like that. and i will bust up in that building with a bat. so they better take it easy on that one and treat my pretty baby with some respect before i force feed them metal.
oh, so, you know how i keep mentioning how yukito is a model with limited acting experience? well, it comes up at the audition. remember what i said about experienced actors, right? they perform with an amatuer while inexperienced ones got to have takaya hanai as an audition partner? well, when hanai was setting up to give him the run down, yukito interrupted and suggested his own rules.
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he wanted to audition with mc as well. and everyone's like "uhhh???? you sure you wanna follow riku's performance by doing THAT?" and yukito's like,"lol, well. i know my performance is not gonna match up to his but i'm sure i get more pussy than he does. so it should be fine i guess.😘" and everyone just accepts his logic because picking up girls= acting in Lover Pretend apparently!
don't believe me?
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so then, we get our very own yukito sena Pretend Time! i was super excited for this one and just like riku, i took it very seriously! I EVEN GOT ANOTHER 100% COMPLETE!!! it was so fun- he was a fucking psycho in his audition. he basically began by casually but vaguely talking about meeting mc out in town and then used that as a jumping off point to create a dramatic love confession scene out of it. he stressed her tf OUT! to the rest of the room they were acting, internally, she felt sexually harassed which made me feel bad lowkey because i was eating it up lmaooo. by the end of the scene asagi and hanai were happy with it and the other judges reluctantly gave him his flowers.
after the scene ends, mc is discombulated because she really thought he was trying to humilate her in front of everyone but he really was just acting. i guess he just knew he'd get authentic reactions out of her? yukito delivered some more lines to break my joints and then he returns to his seats and mc is left more confused than ever.
there's yet another scene between mc and harumi where not much happens. i mean, this isn't just my bias speaking. nothing interesting happened. like, asagi sent him out to check on mc and he did then they sat there in mostly silence and he didn't leave when she said he could. aww. great. moving on. oh, i won't be mean. there was a mention of feeling as if he doesn't belong by harumi which i'm sure we'll explore at some point later. so. i guess i lied? something did happen.
in the next scene, mc trips on something in a stairwell- it's a boy! a pretty one at that.
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i was given the choice to or not to wake him. (he talks in his sleep btw) i woke him. they had a little chit chat in which she scolded him for sleeping on the stairs because he could catch a cold. it's a short interaction and honestly the only reason i'm really mentioning it aside from the cg is because mc says that she swears that he glared at her as he walked away despite him being perfectly pleasant while they interacted just before. i thought that was hilarious bc why would he glare? was he mad bc she woke him up or is hiding a secret personality? i'm intrigued! >:D
after all was said and done at work, she and kazuma walk home together and during this time, mc finally confirms what i'd been theorizing was the angle being hinted at here. amongst the LIs might also potentially be her brother.... bro :/ when she was riku's audition partner and she suggestion he play her long lost brother i joked to myself that it was "a little on the nose" but i was really hoping that this was a case where i'd be wrong- nope.
i've really been enjoying this game so far! i really have but now with this, it's kinda making me wanna put it down. granted, it's too soon to tell which direction this is going to go. there's a possibilty that amongst the three candidates, none of the men she's thinking of is her father and it's actually some rando she'll never find and lowkey, that's what i'm hoping for. or, if that's not the case, that whichever of the guys IS her brother, if he is amongst them, the route is entirely platonic turned familial but... i know what kinda game i'm playing. idk man. i'm kinda bummed. i don't like this lol fingers crossed this ends well.
ALL IN ALL: since nothing is for sure and all i can really do is theorize on how things will go and how the writing will handle it, i'm going to try and have hope that things turn around for the better since this was only chapter 1! i mean, up until the wrap up, i was reaaaaaally enjoying myself. i'd been seeing a ton of potential here. so, it bums me out to think that it's something i won't be able to enjoy because it's going in that direction. i wanna give it a chance to prove me wrong.
opinions of certain characters have changed since the prologue. i'm a little more into kazuma than i thought i'd be. idk, that make up scene was precious. i feel bad i got him beat up though. i still find riku attractive but his personality feels very.... fake, to me. it's like he's got this wall up as if he's ON all the time, constantly attempting to keep up a facade of perfection. if that's true, i reaaaally need to see what's behind that. if that's really what he's like, then.. idk. maybe i'll give him more time before i say much. yukito was the star of his chapter for me tho! everything he did had me đŸ„° i am ENAMOURED. eiichirou is still attractive to me but i just wish he wasn't mc's professor. who knows maybe i'll make her drop his class or something idk. as far as side characters go, hands down, takaya!!! uogh baby he is just my type! big, burly AND HE'S GOT LONG HAIR? love his personality too. that's one hunka man. my truth? if he were an LI, i might've picked him over eiichirou. ÂŻ\_(ツ)_/ÂŻ whoops.
anyway, soooo yeah! those were my thoughts for episode one of lover pretend! this was super fun and hopefully i can keep playing and keep doing these. it's super time consuming but it keeps my mind busy which is just what i need right now. if this manages to find anyone- feel free to share your thoughts on this chapter of the game or the characters or whatever! but please don't spoil the chapters ahead. i don't wanna lose interest.
*she does not make her mother laugh
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mnoxsk · 3 years ago
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Mute Gardener (Platonic!Anya x Male!Reader)
Genre: Fluff/Scenarios/Headcannons
Summary: Anya goes to a large biome garden for a field trip and gets lost. She keeps searching for help until she finds you. 
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-When she saw you she really was desperate so when you didn’t try talking to her she was confused and kinda scared (that she may have done something to piss you off lol).
-By reading your thoughts though she thought you were an esper like her since you were signing to her and didn’t know what sign language is ‘:D So she kinda just accidentally revealed that she was one “too”. 
“Are you lost..?” She saw you sign to her. The only reason she was even able to understand was because you were also saying it in your head, peaking her interest. “Do you also have super powers like me?!” Her eyes beamed as you looked at her in slight confusion but going with it. “...Sure.” You signed back.
-After she realized that you weren't an esper but just a normal person who couldn’t talk she would be shocked and never want to see you again (she’s scared you’ll get her in trouble :’)! But then again she also realized that she would continuously go back to the garden for a school project which would also get her extra nervous! 
-Would avoid any employee or grownup in the garden. She’s scared that they know her secret until she would get lost again and see you! After seeing you and you waving to her she would run “far” away when she would just go back to where you were! Crazy right? She honestly thinks that you may not be a normal person since you can just bring her back to where you are!
After you had calmed her down you had signed to her, “What’s wrong? Did I do anything that may have scared you?” You looked at her with worry, letting her feel safe and vulnerable to have her respond. “About yesterday, about my superpower...” “That? I haven’t told anyone if that’s what’s worrying you. My superpower may be just sign language but I’m also good at keeping secrets!” When you signed that to her, smiling, it made her feel more confident and safer about staying with you. 
-Anya would honestly feel comfortable talking about her telepathy abilities to you without any worry! She already trusts you so much and the way you smile to her goodbye when leaving makes her feel happy and excited to see you tomorrow!
-Would honestly get the best grade in gardening and a test build from botanists! You would think in your mind about what the plant is called and what it does, without really knowing that she has telepathy! 
-Loid would obviously be concerned and think Anya was cheating until Anya said she was getting help from you (which he was more suspicous ‘:)). When he realized that Anya didn’t actually know your name he would immediately tell Anya to introduce him to you, WHICH MADE HER NERVOUS? 
-HE’S GOING TO MEET PAPA?! WHAT WILL HAPPEN?!?! She’s not scared you’ll rat her out, SHE’S SCARED LOID WILL TORTURE YOU!
-She’ll try to run faster than Loid to get him lost (but honestly the only time you’re ever found in the garden is being lost in the first place so it obviously doesn’t work lmao).
“Papa is coming, hide!” She tugs on your apron, trying to make you hide behind a plant until she sees Loid is already here, now hiding behind you. As you cover her with a hand, signifying that you’re trying to protect her, it makes Loid grow to having a misunderstanding, thinking you may be the secret police, trying to take Anya so his mission would fail.
-He would honestly ask you questions like “Are you the owner of the establishment? Why are you hiding my child from me?” (of course you didn’t respond which made him more suspicious). Those kinds of things at first however will try to throw hands on you once he sees you checking Anya, thinking more that you’re secret police.
-Honestly he would lowkey LOSE in this fight. Sure, I get he’s a spy trained in hand-to-hand combat, but you yourself are skilled in self defense and also skilled with showing those hands (this is a joke because you literally do sign language ‘:)).
-Anya would have to convince you both to stop fighting and making you both realize that it was just A BIG ASS MISUNDERSTANDING! LIKE LOID THOUGHT YOU WERE SECRET POLICE WHILE YOU THOUGHT HE WAS A BAD FATHER WHO ANYA WAS STAYING AWAY FROM! 
-After a nice tea party you of course started signing to him which honestly I KNOW FOR SURE. THAT HE KNOWS SIGN LANGUAGE :)) He was trained as a spy and even though there may be different coding and such for other spies to decipher they probably also do sign language. Once he learned that you were the owner of the garden (even when you’re mute) and apologized for having a misunderstanding with him he would apologize too for the same reason. 
-Would honestly let Anya visit you on weekends and would happily watch you and Anya, just silently stare at a plant when you both are watering or tending to one (which makes him honestly nervous like, HE HONESTLY THINKS YOU BOTH ARE CLOSE ENOUGH TO DO SOME TELEPATHIC CRAP TOGETHER (which he’s right but doesn’t want to come to terms with it :)).
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elliesguitarstrings · 4 years ago
Text
Just Friends
Masterlist
Pairing: Tom Holland x Actress!Reader
Summary: You and Tom haven’t seen each other since filming Uncharted, and you decide to surprise him at his Jimmy Kimmel interview. Although you’ve always been “just friends,” you can’t help but think there’s something more.
A/N: Hey y’all sorry it’s been a few days since I last posted, I’ve just been super stressed with school and stuff, but I actually really like this fic and I hope you guys like it too!
Warnings: Language, fluff, angst if you squint
WC: 2.4k
~~~~~~~~
It’s been months since you and Tom last saw each other in person.
While filming Uncharted, the two of you had become extremely close, hanging out in each other’s trailers and spending all of your free time together. In such a short period, you had become best friends, but neither of you could deny the spark of something more. Unfortunately, the two of you never got to explore that spark because of the short time limit. After wrapping, you and Tom went your separate ways, him to Atlanta to film Spiderman 3, and you back to your hometown for a well-deserved break.
That doesn’t mean you two haven’t stayed in contact though. You and Tom have texted and facetimed almost every day since you parted ways, or as much as his busy filming schedule allows. Throughout this time, however, you never seemed to discuss the obvious love connection between you two. Without actually speaking about it, you both seemed to agree that that conversation would be better to have in person.
This bring us to today, where Tom is backstage at Jimmy Kimmel, anxiously waiting for his interview segment of the show. He picks up his phone and decides to text you before he goes on to settle his nerves, wishing you were here to comfort him in person.
T: Are you watching the show yet?
Y: yep I already have my tv turned to abc! are you going on soon?
T: Yeah, I’m so nervous though
Y: why? you’ve been on the show before and you’re like amazing at interviews
T: Idk, Jimmy just said “be ready for a surprise” and he looked really suspicious so I’m scared
T: I just hope they don’t bring like Jennifer Aniston out or something because I would totally freeze and make a fool out of myself
Y: lmao that would be kinda funny tho, but I’m sure you have nothing to worry about
T: Okay we’ll see haha
T: Gtg I’m on in 10, I’ll facetime you after I’m done!
Y: kk, good luck tommy :)
T: Ahh thank you!!
What Tom doesn’t know is that you are ten times more nervous than him. While he’s under the impression that you’re sitting on your living room couch watching the show, you are actually in the dressing room down the hall from him.
Last month, when Tom told you he was going to be on Jimmy Kimmel to promote Cherry, you had the idea to surprise him. You emailed Jimmy not expecting a response, but to your surprise, he actually emailed you back and loved your idea.
So, here you are, waiting backstage and shaking with anticipation to surprise Tom. To be completely honest, you’re even more nervous now that you know Tom is expecting some big star like Jennifer Aniston, who you know has always been his biggest celebrity crush. But nonetheless, you shake off the nerves as best as you can, just hoping everything goes well.
“Please welcome our first guest
 Tom Holland everyone!” you hear Jimmy’s voice over the speaker in your dressing room.
Now that Tom is on stage, you can safely leave the room without him seeing you, and you head to the side stage, waiting for your cue.
Tom and Jimmy talk about Cherry for a few minutes, and you can’t help but admire him. His voice, his face, his outfit, everything about him is just perfect. And even better, he’s here in person, closer than he’s been to you in a long time. It takes every ounce of self-control in you to stop yourself from running onstage and hugging him now. ‘Only a minute longer,’ you tell yourself.
“So, other than Cherry, what other upcoming projects are you working on?” Jimmy inquires onstage.
Almost there

“Well, as most of you know,” Tom addresses the audience, “I’m filming Spiderman 3 right now, which has been going brilliantly. It’s definitely going to be the best one of all the Spiderman movies I’ve done. And I just wrapped on a film called Uncharted a few months ago in Berlin, which was so much fun.”
“Ooh, Uncharted, tell us more about that!"
“Yeah, well it’s based on the video game, and I play the main character, Nathan Drake, who’s on a quest throughout the film. It’s a lot like Spiderman in a way, with all the stunts and stuff, and I think it’s going to turn out great, I can’t wait to see it finished.”
“That sounds like a lot of fun! And if I’m not mistaken, you seem to have met a certain Y/N Y/L/N while filming?”
“Oh, Y/N, yeah, she’s great,” he starts to gush, and you immediately smile, “we became friends super fast, and I miss her so much. I wish she could be here right now, but she’s watching from home actually, so hey Y/N!” he looks directly at the camera and waves, as if he’s waving to you through the screen.
That’s your cue. You tiptoe onstage behind Tom, trying your best to shush the immediate gasps from the audience.
“Well Tom,” Jimmy smiles, “I think your wish may have come true.”
“Huh?” Tom looks around, confused, until his eyes land on you, and he completely freezes.
“Hey Tom,” you smile.
“Y/N! Holy shit! You’re here, you’re actually here!” he exclaims, not caring that he just cursed on live TV.
Tom immediately springs off the couch and sprints to you, arms outstretched. As soon as he reaches you, he picks you up in a tight hug and spins you around, both of you laughing. He sets you down, but still keeps you in a tight embrace, not pulling away until neither of you can breathe. He steps backwards to take you in, still trying to fathom that you’re actually here, with him, after all this time.
“Y/N, wha-, how? I thought you were at your house!” Tom can barely form a sentence, smiling wider than ever and completely out of breath.
“Eh, my house was boring. I thought it would be more fun here with you,” you smile.
He pulls you in again, whispering, “I missed you so fucking much.”
“You have no idea,” you whisper back, resting your forehead on his.
The two of you lock eyes, and for a moment, it’s like you are the only two people in the world. You both start to lean in, lips almost touching, when Jimmy interjects.
“Alright, you two, while that was very sweet, we do still have the rest of the show to get through, so why don’t you come sit down,” Jimmy laughs, bringing you and Tom back to reality.
“Right, of course,” Tom responds, trying his best to keep cool in front of the audience.
Tom ushers you to the couch, keeping one hand on the small of your back as he follows you. He keeps his arm around you when you sit, staying as close to you as possible without raising any more suspicions from the audience.
“So, you two, huh?” Jimmy smirks.
“What? Oh, no, Jimmy, we- we’re just friends,” you laugh trying your best to hide the obvious blush on your cheeks.
“I don’t know, that seemed like a little more than just friend behavior to me over there,”
“What do you expect, I haven’t seen her in half a year!” Tom exclaims, saving you from more embarrassment.
“Okay, okay, fine. Just friends,” he turns to the camera and winks, earning laughs from the audience.
“Anyways Y/N, we already talked about Tom, so tell us about you! How was your experience filming Uncharted?” thankfully, Jimmy moves on.
“Well, up until this point I had only really done small indie films, so it was definitely a major change. But Tom was so nice in helping me and it actually turned out to be such an amazing experience, probably the most fun I’ve ever had filming a movie
”
You go on for a few more minutes, talking to Jimmy about your role in Uncharted and your career in general, exchanging small glances with Tom, who just sat back and listened, completely entranced by you.
“Alright, well thank you so much for coming Y/N, it was great to have you! I’m afraid I have to keep Tom for a few more minutes for our next segment, but you’ll have him all to yourself soon enough,” Jimmy smiles.
You laugh, “Thank you so much for having me Jimmy, it was such a pleasure!”
You stand up and hug both Jimmy and Tom, giving Tom a small peck on the cheek before you walk offstage, waving to the audience as you leave.
You smile all the way back to your dressing room, completely overjoyed that you were successful in surprising Tom. As soon as you sat down on the small couch, not even two minutes after you walked offstage, your phone starts blowing up with notifications.
You see that your best friend texted you, so you check that first.
BFF: so you and tom huh? girl why didn’t you tell me?????
Y: what no???
Y: we’re just friends!!
BFF: that’s not what literally all of twitter thinks
Y: wdym? they don’t know anything
BFF: go check rn, i’m telling you they’re going batshit crazy over you two
You check Twitter and immediately see the fans already going crazy over you and Tom.
“just friends”????? bullshit did y’all see the way they almost KISSED?????
TOM AND Y/N I SHIP I SHIP I SHIP
did y’all see the way tom looked at y/n? he’s totally in love omg
UGH I’M SO JEALOUS AKSDHJSAHDSHD I WANT TO BE Y/N SO BAD
they’re so cute help omg
THE WAY Y/N FLEW OUT TO CALIFORNIA JUST TO SURPRISE TOM??? JUST FRIENDS MY ASS
Were you really being that obvious? You quickly call your friend, looking for some advice on what to do, and she picks up right away.
“Okay you were right, they’re going absolutely insane,” you start.
“I mean what do you expect y’all almost kissed on live tv!”
“Shut up.”
“Come onnnnn Y/N, I know you like him and he obviously likes you too so just talk to him! You already know that you two would be the cutest fucking couple ever. Plus you already have the approval of twitter what more could you need?”
You laugh, but you’re still hesitant.
“I don’t know, what if he doesn’t like me back?
“HE. ALMOST. KISSED. YOU. ON. LIVE. FUCKING. TELEVISON. I THINK HE LIKES YOU BACK BITCH!”
“Okay first of all we didn’t almost kiss, and second of all I don’t want to ruin our friendship. Plus how would I even tell him?”
“Okay YES YOU DID ALMOST KISS! And this isn’t middle school! Just tell him how you feel.”
“I’ll think about it.”
“Think about what?”
You whip around and see Tom standing at your dressing room door.
“Fuck I gotta call you back,” you whisper, quickly hanging up the phone.
You turn back to Tom, still standing in the doorway.
“How much of that did you hear?” you ask, blushing profusely.
“Um, all of it I think,” Tom looks down and you immediately start to freak out.
Tom, however, looks back up at you and smirks.
“So you like me huh?”
You stay silent for a moment, a billion thoughts running through your head. You contemplate denying it and staying just friends with Tom. But then you think back to what your best friend told you just a second ago.
“Just tell him how you feel.”
“Yeah Tom. I like you. And not as a friend. This isn’t really the way I intended on telling you, and I get if you don’t feel the same way, but the way I feel about you isn’t just platonic. There’s a connection between us that I felt since the day we met and I can’t help but think that you feel it too. And then today it just got, like, ten times stronger and I-“
Tom promptly cuts you off by cupping your jaw and placing his lips on yours, sending a rush throughout your entire body. His lips feel like heaven, moving ever so gently against yours, and again, it feels like you two are the only people on Earth. The kiss is warm and loving, and although it doesn’t last long, the moment has already been engraved in your mind for eternity.
He pulls back, looking into your eyes, making sure he hasn’t made a mistake, but you only stare back at him ten times more lovingly.
“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.” he whispers.
“Me too,” you whisper back.
He takes your hands in his, “Y/N, I do feel that connection, and I want us to be more than just friends. I always have.”
As much as you are relieved that Tom feels the same way, you can’t help but worry.
“What about the distance? Are you sure we can handle that?”
“Of course we can,” Tom assures you, “I don’t care how far away we are from each other, I love you, and I’m never letting any amount of distance take that away.”
“But these past few months have been so hard without you, and we haven’t even been dating, I just- I don’t want to be apart from you anymore.”
“Then move in with me. Come to London and live with me!”
“Okay,” you grin.
“Wait, really?” Tom questions, taken aback.
“Yeah, why not? I mean, obviously we won’t be able to be together all the time because of our jobs, but it’ll be the closest thing.”
“Are you sure? That’s a big commitment to move that far.”
“I’m positive Tom. You’re my best friend, and now, I guess you’re my boyfriend,” you giggle, “I love you too, and I want to be with you, even if that means moving thousands of miles to London.”
Tom smiles, “You called me your boyfriend.”
“Shut up you dork, come here.”
You pull him in for another kiss, still feeling like you’re floating. Your lips once again move perfectly together, as if they’re made for each other. You’re completely consumed in him, and him in you, and in this moment, you know that he is the only one for you. In this moment, you know that you want to spend the rest of your life with him, and only him, and it’s the best feeling in the world.
~~~~~~~~
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pappydaddy · 2 years ago
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Tiktok is literally hell, most people have the worst takes for characters and completely lack common sense. Stancy is popular there bc they see two pretty people together who had history, slap a Taylor Swift song over it and call it a day. If Jancy had any screentime together we wouldn't see so many edits because people can apparently only focus on one season and disregard any other shit.
A few days ago someone commented under my anti Stancy comment that Nancy was the one who made Steve in the fan favorite character he is. Lmao yeah give all his development to his cheater ex gf who did nothing, she never begged him to change. Steve left his friends at the end of s1 bc he wanted to, granted bc he liked Nancy but still. To completely undermine his character in such a take is disgusting.
In my humble opinion Nancy never truly loved Steve, not in a way he loved her. For her he was a safety blanket, in a way he was kinda like her dad (not personality wise) but in terms of being wealthy and stable so instead of choosing Jonathan, who she always wanted she dragged Steve along for year. Steve represents the suburban life even back in s1 which she absolutely hates and Jonathan was always painted as like rebellion and adventure. I've seen tiktok comments saying oh Steve probably doesn't force her to have kids or that many, so it's fine she can live her dream and he will be a malewife. However why is that Steve is the one who has to hold back his dreams? Like yeah he wouldn't force her but that will only result in them resenting each other. It's clear he wants someone to raise those kids together with not just him alone. They just don't work so I hope the take you mentioned of him confessing to Nancy is him finally moving on he said everything he needed to let go. I'm begging at this point lol.
I still didn't like Nancy in s3, the way she treated Jonathan and their argument said more about her person than anything else. Granted both were wrong but her actions got never any repercussions, instead Jonathan was the one apologizing to her and she was like yeah now never doubt anything I say or do bc I'm never wrong. She can't own her mistakes and the show never addresses it. I like mean women but if there are never any consequences to her actions it's infuriating. Steve never got an apology from her after she cheated and still believes he's the worst bf ever but that's okay bc Nancy is our girlboss with guns.
The best outcome for those three characters would be anyone stay single. Stancy is toxic af, and Steve deserves better. Nancy deserves her career and Jonathan deserves someone who doesn't emotionally cheat as soon as he's not there.
Back to tiktok and their takes, I've seen so many people now saying if Stancy isn't endgame bc it's not going to be they kill Steve off. In fact I've seen ppl beg for it to happen and I'm sick to my stomach. Why doesn't he deserve a happy ending just bc his ex doesn't take him back. Steve dying would impact so many people, especially Dustin it would be cruel of the writers to take away Dustin's other big brother figure. And Robin losing the only person who truly understands her??? How is that fair. The fandom focuses way too much on ships than on the actual characters. I'm just saying how can you ship Stancy and claim to love Steve?
I'm so scared for s5 bc after what they did in vol2 I don't trust them. I love Steve sm as you can probably tell lol, he's like top3 of fictional boyfriends for me and him potentially not getting a happy end or dying for his toxic ex is making me ill. I just want him to live, find a girl or guy whatever to have his big family in the future. He deserves it sm, like I know the show doesn't address his trauma, physical or emotional, but he gave so much for this group and to just die it's not fair.
Obx anon
Ps I'm so sorry for not checking in more regularly life is crazy lol, I hope you're doing good ❀
ugh, i know! tik tok is pretty bad sometimes, though not quite as bad as twitter yet. they claim that general flaws are toxic, but yet, they are supporting/shipping stancy? make it make sense.
nancy and jonathan's fight in season 3 kinda shows how privileged nancy has been all her life compared to jonathan. she jumped head first into this hunch because she wasn't scared of getting fired. she never once considered how much work jonathan had to put in just to get that job and he wasn't going to lose it over a hunch because that could ruin jonathan's future. they were both at fault in a way, so they both should have recognized their roles. this is exactly what i mean when i say the writers seem to want us to hate nancy because they do shit like what happened in season 4 and what is listed above.
i want nancy to grow as a character and i think that can only be done by her being single and exploring herself. and, whatever they do, not have stancy get back together. their dynamic in season 4 literally made me almost physically sick. hopefully, that was just a repercussion of the upside-down being stuck in 1983 and season 5 will not have this horrible content.
and, back to tik tok, they were all just saying that if steve was killed off they wouldn't watch it anymore? like make up your mind, please?
and, to your last point, that's okay lovely! i love how you back me up with really good points when i post rants like this! and don't i know life is crazy! but i'm surviving and keeping afloat, how about you?
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thedeviljudges · 3 years ago
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yohan + physical tough + trauma response
disclaimer: this is based off of eps 1-7, and preview of ep 8; i wholeheartedly recognize that this post may become the worst meta ever depending on how the rest of the show goes. however, i do think there are still some interesting things to note about yohan. a lot of this is also me just talking shit out as i was sifting through all the eps again. i’m more than willing to change my mind or hear other thoughts.
also i kinda, sorta, unnecessarily included all of the moments of yohan and any physicality. a lot of them are not super important, but i do think they help draw a distinction in how he reactions when surprised, alone and around other people.
so, here’s a long ass post that is literally 99% me bullshitting, lmao.
so i wanted to delve more into yohan’s response to physical touch by way of trauma. while i know a lot of us have pieced it together, i think it’s pretty cool to lay it all out visually because i think there’s much more justification for his reactions; not to say it makes it right, but it does really flesh out a fundamental part of his characterization that i think is highly, highly important to understand.
yohan lives on the cusp for reckless behavior, almost as if he doesn’t care whether he lives or dies. the car chase, running through industrial buildings where safety isn’t a concern, etc.
episode one
the first time we see an instance of his disinterest in physical touch is when he first meets gaon. he actually offers him his hand, but the way he goes about it isn’t a handshake. he almost looks hesitant, and then he squeezes and does not shake. it’s truly a split second gesture out of formalities. granted, he’s just met someone he thinks looks like isaac, and might be in a little bit of
 not shock, but certainly distracted.
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later in the episode, yohan is in an abandoned building with homeless people. he’s checking people’s wrist, but he’s quick about leaving them alone. until, a homeless man comes up behind him and grabs him. in response, yohan swings his arm to knock him off. then, he punches him, steps on him and decides whether he’s worth the effort. again, granted, no one likes to be surprised in a creepy situation like this, so his response? kinda understandable at this point.
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next is the scene where yohan catches gaon in his office, where he pushes him against the bookshelf and kinda, more or less, comes off as a bit luring. we know yohan knows gaon’s lying, but a couple of things here. yohan initiated the physical contact, and he did it because of the suspicious nature of gaon. yohan also knows how to use his power and charms to catch people off guard, and i think really, he was messing with gaon when he brushed his shirt and asked him if he lived alone. gay as fuck, lmao, but i also see it as an intimidation tactic, in a way.
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i could also pose a couple of theories aside from intimidation if we wanted to squint:
yohan is still in a state of awe of gaon’s resemblance to isaac. he’s not heard his voice or been around the other man for at least 10 years, and now there’s tangibility at his fingertips.
if we want to look at it from the gay perspective, gaon is clearly intriguing to yohan, and as i’ll note further down in this post about yohan in relation to physical touch, i’m sure it could be assumed that this is one of the first people in a long time that yohan has an interest in making a connection with. however, because of his upbringing, it’s clear he does’t necessarily know how to connect with people (ie. ep 7 trying to connect with elijah, eps 1-6 with him trying to non-verbally tell gaon that he has bigger plans than what’s in front of his face. his admission in ep 5 about being monster). more or less, he knows his charms can be used, but when it comes to actually flirting and/or liking someone? it’s left to be addressed, but could be assumed he’s just as awkward about it as when we see him at home.
we also see a small instance of him letting someone dress him. there’s still touch involved, but it’s very clear what the intention is. he has control over the situation, and it’s not a surprise.
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the next time he engages in physical touche, again, he initiates it because he’s in control, and it’s meant to be comforting, to an extent.
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and then to round everything off, we actually see him reaching for isaac, who is actually gaon in the court scene, but you know storytelling and all that. he reaches for him both in the courtroom and within a flashback.
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him reaching out for isaac seems to be a motif within the show as it happens later on, of which i’ll point out.
episode two
we see him initiate a handshake again. at first, to gaon, and then with jinjoo. controlled situation.
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later on in the episode is when we see our first glimpses of batshit crazy yohan, an absolute delight and fav, lmao. he actually reaches out to the spoiled kid, and it’s clearly to legitimize intimidation and a position of power.
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okay look, i’m not even gonna front, this was a cute scene. when jinjoo gets out of the car, he checks to make sure she’s okay, and they have this moment before they go onto the red carpet where they smile at each other. yohan is confirming she’s okay, and she agrees. again, controlled, and i don’t know for certain if yohan is more comfortable around women, or it’s just mere fact that he doesn’t always have a problem with touch when the situation is safe. he actually lets her take his arm further on in the scene, and yes, it is a public display of niceties, and he knows that.
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so in the midst of this happening, we get the ‘devil child’ story. and i want to make note of the bird scene because i do think it’s important to note that people yohan cares for, he’s willing to go to the ends of the earth to protect them. yes, they’re children in school, but the girl next to him is the only one who showed him an ounce of kindness, and yohan is proven to remain loyal to those he loves or trusts in some capacity.
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of course, he ends up pitting the rich and the poor kids against one another for their betrayal and making him an outcast. in yohan’s mind, what he did wasn’t necessarily wrong because his sense of justice is based on protection and when people wrong him or those he loves, it’s seeking justice on their behalf or making the situation better - not in the technically right way, but right to him. yohan comes across as a fixer and problem solver.
yohan has a very, very strong sense of trust and loyalty, and we can assume that stems from isaac, who clearly tried to protect yohan from his father, who went out of his way to do so as best as he could as a young kid. yohan values loyalty not because he necessarily wants lap dogs and people to do his bidding. it comes from a place of love and security he’s never really had.
anyway, back to the gala with jinjoo, he does shake the minister’s hand. again, controlled. there are cameras. he also puts his arm around her, and that’s mainly because it’s a battle of the wills, and she’s trying to reprimand him, lol, as if she could. he hugs her a little hard and a little enthusiastically, and you can clearly tell it’s for show.
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and then he dances with both jinjoo and sunah. and there is a stark difference between these two scenes. yohan actually teaches jinjoo the proper placement for where she should rest her hands and how to move. he’s actually having a good time with her, and again, it’s actually really cute.
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with sunah, he’s reluctant and definitely on guard. he can tell from her demeanor that her intent is with purpose trying to get close to him. at this point in the story, he probably sees it as sunah coming onto him and not because she’s actually the maid from when they were children. when sunah reaches up to whisper in his ear, you can really tell he doesn’t like her being that close to him at all especially because her words may not be overly threatening, but there is purpose behind them, which means yohan’s guards are up. he physically removes her hand and than blatantly turns her down: she tells him that enjoying things alone isn’t fun, and he counters it by saying he’s having a lot of fun.
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so at this point to reduce on some screen caps, he meets the minister’s family, has handshakes with her husband and the kid he went after to essentially beat up his car with a mallet, lmao. the handshake is quite funny because they both know what happened. yohan is in control, and that kid is shaking in his boots.
then the explosion happens, and of course, it makes sense that yohan helps gaon after he’s hurt. gaon has never been a threat to yohan, and it’s clear yohan’s not heartless whatsoever, but it’s also poignant to note that gaon helped saved yohan’s life, thus starting yohan’s journey of loyalty to gaon. i think he’s always had his sight set on gaon to begin with, possibly long before he even became an associate judge, but if this was a test, gaon passed it with flying colors because if gaon can rescue a little girl, and he can help an old man who fell off his bike, would he really go the lengths to save yohan who has shown him time and time again his sense of justice is different?
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episode three
yohan reacts negatively to soohyun and within good reason when she questions where gaon is. he turns away because for him, the conversation is over, but for her, it’s not. to get his attention, she grabs him when he’s not paying attention, and of course he has a very adverse reaction. at this point, it can be chalked up to disrespect given the fact that he’s a head judge and she’s just a mere cop, but hindsight is 20/20. he does throw her arm off by flicking out his arm. but instead of berating her, he just tells her to catch the culprits who harmed gaon and leaves it at that.
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and then of course, everyone’s favorite scene and rightfully so. yohan caring for gaon? very sexy of him. gaon is injured, poses no threat, and as i said above about yohan finding some amount of loyalty in gaon means his physical boundaries aren’t jeopardized. and for that, we get these wonderful scenes of yohan helping gaon as he heals.
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and then scenes of him messing around with gaon by hitting him. truth be told, i wonder if this was something him and isaac did as young kids. anyone with siblings know how that goes. fake picking on each other? fake bickering? yeah.
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and then it slowly, but surely, it’s revealed that yohan didn’t have the same upbringing as isaac did. our first instance that something at home wasn’t right wasn’t just the conversation with ms. ji and gaon. it’s the flashback with yohan reading in his room when the door opens. he hastily pretends he’s asleep, and you can see he’s visibly shaking and breathing roughly until he realizes it’s isaac who’s there to give him books.
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and that’s also when we get our first glance of what kind of abuse yohan suffered from at the hands of his father. it’s clear this isn’t the only incident, and there’s been many times that isaac wasn’t around to help defend him.
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it’s also very clear in how yohan acts when he’s terrified and that his abuse has gone on long enough to be a routine pattern in the house. any time he hears heavy footsteps or thinks his father is around, he visibly shakes and gets panicky.
episode four
i include this scene because it’s been noted that a lot of books yohan reads are about humans, human nature, animals, animalistic tendencies, and he says random shit like this that directly points to what he thinks about humanity and humans themselves. we notice this most prominently at the dinner with gaon and jinjoo earlier on when he describes that he likes the feel of the chew and that he cannot taste. he always mentions hunting and prey, and i think this is one of those very clear instances where he actually reveals to gaon what he truly, truly thinks; no gimmicks. this also comes into play later on in ep 6 when elijah is worried about him being out all night. yohan clearly doesn’t trust people at all. he understands their intentions, their motives and how much pain they can cause other people for their own profit and their own gain. it makes sense that he wouldn’t leave his house, especially if he has a strong sense of loyalty to isaac (even after all these years) and caring for elijah.
this is also one of the very direct moments that yohan doesn’t understand family dynamics. when it comes to people, it’s a giant chess game. not only that, later on in the episode when they’re in the car and yohan talks about how people, no matter what, are always the same in front of greed, yohan is cynical, and he expects the bad every single time.
what he reads and the way he words things (here and the discussion of him being a monster, for example) is clearly an indication that he doesn’t trust; that he cannot trust, nor does he want to at this point. yohan doesn’t understand the concept of kindness being given freely (ep 7 when he berates elijah for being used by gaon, telling her she falls for kindness every time). and yet, later on in eps, it’s clear when he’s around the right people and the right mindset (uh, gaon?? lol), he’s constantly putting up a front.
after all in ep 7 when he tells gaon that confidence is key, it literally gives him away not just in the courtroom but in his personal life. there’s a reason he looks softer at home than when he’s not there (the hairstyle changes and clothing).
basically what i’m getting at is this behavior can be seen as a defense mechanism because of his abuse.
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then it’s another gala event with gaon and yohan this time. another lovely favorite where yohan helps him get dressed and then proceeds to drag him around and safe him from the lion’s den.
tbh i dont even need to include these, but i’m doing it for the indulgence.
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yohan does sorta physically throw gaon as well during the rich people party, but that’s mainly to get him to shut up because he’s trying to show gaon the truth at hand and how all of it’s pretty much a farce.
later on in the episode is when we first have gaon truly attacking yohan verbally, and that’s when yohan snaps. it’s clear that isaac is a trigger for yohan, especially from someone who speaks out of line on something they know nothing about. gaon, truth be told, had a stupid moment confronting yohan the way he did. i don’t know who waltzes up to a proposed murderer and just asks them, lmao.
but here’s the thing, thus far, gaon has not entirely posed a threat to yohan. whether that’s from yohan planting gaon and guiding him exactly where he wants him or gaon just not being as thorough as yohan would like, and he’s trying to tap into that talent, is anyone’s guess. but as i said above, the one thing yohan protects is the things he does care about the most, and he tries to talk himself out of his own feelings. he constantly compares himself to an animal (again, dinner scene with gaon and jinjoo) to justify his actions, and to possibly not feel anything; because that’s easier, isn’t it? not feeling. so on top of gaon calling him a monster and a killer, confronted with the possibility about being a villain in his own brother’s story, obviously sets him off. he beats down his emotions until he’s confronted with it - and this is what gaon also meant in ep 6 about how it’s ridiculous that yohan calls himself a monster over a victim because yohan can’t even see himself in that light. not because he truly believes victims are weak necessarily, but i wonder how much he realizes that what happened to him wasn’t his fault.
to me, and as i just said, yohan convinces himself he’s a monster to make it easier for himself to belief his actions (ep 5 telling gaon some humans are born monsters in relation to himself). it’s not that he inherently thinks he’s wrong, but i think his guidance for what’s right and wrong was misconstrued without a parent figure in his life, especially if he’d read crime and law books as the focus. yohan’s actions, at least quite a bit of them are, are based on a gut feeling of right and wrong. when you think about it and your own sense of justice, how would that differ without the checks and balances in place? what punishment do you think fits the crime if we weren’t bound by written law? yohan thinks any action to protect those he loves is, more or less, justifiable because it’s a means to an end. it’s making a worng right again.
i don’t think yohan is a monster. i think his feelings, and what he knows is love, is misconstrued in terms of how to express it. we see this in episode 7 with his and elijah’s conversation where she’s just trying to be a teen, but his version of love is protecting her without, once again, understanding family dynamics and the pain points of growing up, the learning she has to do on her own. yohan might technically be right; similar to being book-smart but not necessarily street smart. his theory of telling Elijah that she’s soft for kindness and being used was true, but his delivery and the idea that that’s how humans develop doesn’t work. he’s telling her text-book rules, but people don’t live through books. they live through real life. yohan reads to get a sense of fulfillment and to learn. he’s learned his way into adulthood, but that’s not normal.
so uh anyway, back to this familiar scene:
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because we don’t know the actual story of isaac’s death, it’s hard to say what role yohan played in his death, but i don’t know that i believe he was the one who did it. the entirety of the devil judge is relying on unreliable narration, so it’s difficult to gauge (for now since we’re on ep 7) how this will turn out and what happened, but to me, it really comes across as yohan upset over the insinuation that he could be the one to cause the death of the one person he loved the most. plus, i think it says a lot that he cares/loves elijah, and she was part of isaac. gaon crossed a thine line. yohan essentially welcomed him in, and this is gaon toeing it. we can also look at this is not gaon being an outsider to their family, but now has become part of the family, and so it’s easier for yohan to be ‘abusive,’ if you will, rather than the perspective of gaon still on the sidelines and pushing too far. by this i mean, the accusations made by gaon threatens their formulating family dynamics.
and once again, the only person he ever actually reaches out for is isaac.
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and then we have the aftermath of yohan’s nightmare, where he’s still caught in the dream as gaon comes in, and refuses to be touched after, even if gaon’s intention is to see if he’s okay. yohan makes it very clear to gaon not to touch him, and that’s when elijah comes in with a very accusatory ‘what are you two doing?’ in this moment, yohan is not just vulnerable, but he’s emotionally sensitive. i’ve no doubt he’s still dealing with a form of sensory overload from his dream.
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and then, i don’t know that this was necessary? was it necessary?
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the following set of scenes are the ones where gaon tells him he’s a victim and he hasn’t confronted his own emotions about his abuse. i think yohan realizes gaon is right to some degree, but it is convoluted, and it’s not so simple to face your own traumas. however, he does for a moment after gaon leaves, remember another instance of abuse he couldn’t stop but wishes he could, wishing a parental figure of sorts would’ve come in to save him like his older self is trying to save the kid version if only he could turn back time, if only he had the power to do what he wish someone else had done for him.
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and then the kidnapping scene is just. fucked up in and of itself. it actually makes my skin crawl. not because sunah is scary necessarily, but the lack of autonomy yohan has - especially when we find out later more of sunah’s story. to do something like this after what she’s suffered through makes this scene even more disturbing.
you can see the moment yohan hears heels when sunah (not knowing it’s her yet) comes in. literally the minute he knows someone’s headed his way, he checks the fuck out. his whole face goes slack, especially when sunah reveals herself. and when she’s kissing him? blank as fuck, too. it’s the most dead-eyed stare i think we’ve seen from him.
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episode six
so, we get this gem from elijah that i’d like to touch on later. it’s more speculation and just me running through ideas more than it is canon fact. but what it does let us know is that yohan doesn’t seek people out. he prefers to be at home and staying there.
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after we get the maid story, and we do get yohan touching sunah’s cheek, and in some fucked up twisted way, this is his way of protecting one of the things isaac cherishes the most. the point of the gesture isn’t just intimidation but serves as an act of intent, of protection in the only way yohan knows how. he’s safeguarding isaac. you can tell he doesn’t actually like sunah at all as a kid, but uses that to his advantage. imagine yohan learning violence for ‘good’ things when his father used violence for ‘bad’ things. what a twisted way of looking at it? and the irony at hand.
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additionally, the main reason i’ve included so many varying scenes of yohan touching people isn’t to establish that he’s okay with being touched given how many scenes there are of him randomly shaking people’s hand or touching them. it’s all about context and what the intent is for. most often than not, really way more often than not, yohan only reaches out for people when it’s socially acceptable to do so and because it’s manners. and yet, even in some of those cases, there is still intent behind the gesture.
the moments he acts out the most are when he’s not in front of an audience, when he’s more likely to be alone with his thoughts and is exceptionally more vulnerable to his own triggers.
and i think the scene after he’s back at his house from the kidnapping is noteworthy because it doesn’t just feel like he’s shaking off the effects of the drugs he was given. he seems to visibly trying to compose himself of the mental and physical play he just had to deal with.
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the next scene is yohan angry with gaon for taking elijah out. which really, he does have every right to be angry, and one thing i didn’t note above during the ‘you killed your brother’ choke out scene before is that when yohan is backed into any kind of corner, he reacts like a caged animal.
because we’ve already established the scenes with his abuse, his father took his anger physically out on yohan. so how else was yohan supposed have developed the tools to express it? it’s easy to hurt the things you love the most; it’s easy to abuse the ones you know, and between gaon and himself, they both have an unhealthy dynamic because gaon is old enough, strong enough to take whatever yohan gives him. gaon is not family and so there’s still that clear divide and a distinction as to why he lays a hand on gaon but not elijah, for example. gaon can still pose a threat. elijah is family. then again, it can also be said that maybe yohan considers gaon family, and gaon betrayed elijah and therefore yohan, and you don’t do that. not with yohan’s understanding of family dynamics.
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but with that said, it begs the question why yohan keeps gaon around, and i think some of that has to do with the fact that gaon surprises yohan. he might’ve set his sights on him long before he became an associate judge or maybe he took interest after gaon was chosen for the role (this is still up in the air), but deep down, yohan sees something in gaon despite his snooping, despite his righteousness. it could be the potential; it could be the fact that gaon could be better than yohan if he just allowed himself to loosen the ropes he’s tied himself with when it comes to the court of law and the justice system.
but here’s the thing that idk a lot of people have really picked up on. gaon is one side of the same coin underneath it all. he’s also provoked yohan with physicality when yohan brought up details about soohyun.
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to be fair, we can say that yohan evokes a different type of anger in gaon, one that he hasn’t tapped into for years that allows him to open up to that more physical side of himself he learned to put behind him. gaon doesn’t really come across as the physically threatening type, but yohan does push his buttons and vice versa.
but then, of course, we have the big fight scene where gaon goes in on the attack, and that’s when yohan makes his threat not to attack him ever again. it’d be easy to say he says it based on the merit of him not actually attacking soohyun, but seriously speaking, the intent feels much more than that. more along the lines of asking gaon not to provoke him without warning again because next time might be bad. most of their other fights, especially the one above,have been in the midst of conversation. this time, it’s from a place of complete surprise, and you can tell yohan goes on the defensive when his first instinct is to not just throw gaon back but raise his fist to strike.
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episode seven
the only physical contact yohan has with anyone is the president, and that’s when he turns on the live video of the two of them, and it’s clearly intended to be a lowkey threat. he keeps pulling the president back into his side to be on the live camera after the dude tried to come after yohan. i do think it’s hilarious that yohan manipulated the situation with a live component just as the president and the rest of the rich people thought they could turn a live court show into manipulating the public.
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and then, of course, the jail scene. the part where he makes gaon stay. he also touches gaon’s shoulder later just before they leave.
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episode eight
the most prominent scene in this ep is certainly the scene where sunah comes onto yohan, and you can tell she did it to get under his skin in some way. of course, he’s smart and knows she’s up to something, but i think it’s so interesting how he wraps his fists around hers, almost as if to tame her and prevent her from trying to further put her hands on him.
we also know yohan has no issue with using physical force regardless of who it is (obviously, his dialogue in this scene, too) when he feels caged or trapped. his intention is also to retrieve isaac’s necklace, and i like how he uses literally anything to his advantage. meaning, he’ll use physical touch, his mentality, etc to get what he wants or needs, even if it is marginally uncomfortable to some degree.
and i think that also says alot about him is that he’s able to displace what makes him uncomfortable in moments like this to achieve an end goal.
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additional thoughts
i know this isn’t really common with a lot of the characters in general, and could be chalked up to a cultural component, but yohan’s definitely not a hugger.
the other thing i wanted to note is yohan’s seemingly adherence to touch unless it’s for good reason in relation to sex. the main reason i bring it up is because i’ve seen it discussed a bit, especially in regard to elijah’s comment about him not staying out overnight since the fire. there are a few plausible scenarios, maybe more, but for the sake of this, we’ll go for these.
yohan has had past relationships/experience or will in future episodes
day flings
he’s never had an interest in anyone before given his upbringing and abuse and therefore never sought out sex
inexperience could be from lack of interest in other people and sex itself
he’s never found anyone to really connect with and trust in such a way and has avoided it for that reason
and i bring this up mainly because i think it could be something to explore in fanon, but also because i’m kind of annoyed with how people have been talking about yohan being a virgin. i’m not quite sure what the joke is, but lack of sexual experience does not mean naive or that he doesn’t have a sense of humor when that’s clearly far from the truth:
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i don’t know that people find it unbelievable because of his age, because of characterization of yohan being more dominant, but none of these things negate this being an option. i think it’s perfectly plausible of a situation (from what we know right now), and truthfully, it would make a whole lot of sense. i just don’t get the jokes about it that i’ve been seeing online (twitter) when there isn’t a mutual exclusiveness to any of it whatsoever.
yohan already has a hard time connecting with people, and i can imagine that level of physicality could be difficult. clearly he knows how to use a version of it to get what he wants. i’ve no doubt he’s used his charms in situations where he’s needed to. yohan knows he has that going for him, at the very least. but sexual appeal and jokes doesn’t mean having a body count any more than it could indicate there being one.
lastly, i also want to pull these paragraphs from @b612sunsets​‘s post because i think they do a much better job than i ever could of explaining, short and sweet, a fundamental part of yohan’s characterization, and mainly what i was trying to get at with this long ass post.
“There's two things we already know about Yohan from the last 6 episodes: he hates being touched when he doesn't see it coming and doesn't have control over it because of the abuse he suffered (I assume). To name a few: Soohyun grabbing his elbow to stop him from leaving and get answers about Gaon, the beggar that touched him while he searched for the fireman, Gaon after punching him and Yohan clearly telling him to NEVER do it again. The impression it gave to us is that if there's a next time he might not be able to stop his instinctive reaction of defending himself and using violence back (something worse than choking or pushing Gaon and he doesn't want to do that with him).
“Unless it's a friendly/small/slow touch like in the breakfast scene when Gaon touches his arm when he gets up to offer them some fruits. When he had the nightmare with Isaac, his walls were up high so even if he could see Gaon's touch coming and it was friendly, he decided to stop it because he was too defensive and sensible to accept the gesture (it would be the first time Gaon started physical contact with him too, he wouldn't be ready for that in such a state).
“The second thing is that Yohan hates when people take what is his or mess with what is important to him. Again, to name a few: Sunah with the necklace when she was a maid, the fireman with Isaac's watch (Yohan made them fall from high places, not caring if they died or not), the guy that fabricated the small bombs that hurt Gaon (Yohan would have burnt his face if "K" hadn't stopped him) and Gaon taking Elijah out of the house to Soohyun without previous notice (a cop and someone he doesn't trust).”
yohan has a very, very large sense of self-preservation for himself and for those he cares about. it’s in his intention, actions, facial expressions, movements, the way he interacts with people. i find it fascinating how calculating he can be, but at home, he’s at his most vulnerable and almost socially unaware and awkward.
yohan is a bit of an irony. he understands people from an action-oriented, instinctual level, but he doesn’t necessarily understand their thoughts and emotions in the waves of nuances that people live through on the daily. like, he gets it to an extent and on a practical level, but he himself is a square trying to fit into a circle - he doesn’t always understand it for himself and has to actively work on social cues so as not to come across as the devil child he was once painted to be.
and let it not be unsaid, yohan really will go to the ends of the earth for family, even if it means stepping out of his comfort zone.
and so anyway, i doubt this offered any real insight, but i think this is my way of breaking all of this down for myself. so, tada!!! lmao
107 notes · View notes
inkbyajm · 4 years ago
Text
Bottled Up
pairing: C.H. x fem!reader
category: angst, fluff
warnings: yelling, crying, insecurities
word count: 2.2k
notes: apologies for the tardy post, i wrote and rewrote and re-rewrote the whole angsty scene because i didn’t know if it was written well enough, i wanted to make sure you guys could feel the emotions that i vividly visualised and tried my best to put into words  :( i did send it to a friend to check and she seemed to like it, so let me know how it goes for you, my loves. the angst for this one was inspired by 2 different songs - hold me while you wait by lewis capaldi and i will run from you by cemeteries. it’s not necessarily about the lyrics, but more about the melody and the mood you get into listening to them (they go in order). give those a listen :) also, beware of the upcoming philosophy references, i did study philosophy last year, hopefully no one gets triggered lmao
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Is a person’s scent something a normal human being picks up on before taking into account the rest of their features? Would a normal human being remember said scent and be able to recognise it in a crowd full of strangers? Corpse wasn’t too sure about the answer, but one thing he did know, is that she smelled delicately sweet, like cherry blossoms, and that ever since he had noticed it during their game night a few weeks ago, he simply couldn’t let it go. It was intoxicating, but in a calming way. 
━
Corpse and (Y/N) each lay on their beds in their own homes, going into the third hour of their call. He couldn’t exactly fall asleep, so he had decided to see what his dear friend was up to, and even though she was this close to succumbing to sleep, she said nothing and stayed up to keep his busy mind company.
“Okay, hot topic: what do you think about soulmates? More specifically the romantic type?” the girl asked, not knowing how much of a risquĂ© question it was. How was he supposed to answer?
“I don’t really have an opinion on it. Why?”
“I read Symposium by Plato the other day and it presented an interesting concept about human beings. Basically-” Of course she fucking read philosophical books. How were they even having a conversation with each other? Why were they even friends? She was on a whole other level of smart. “-so this guy says that humans were like androgynous blobs, so they’d come in two sets of everything a normal person has. But those humans were so powerful, the gods were literally shaking in their robes, so Zeus decided to cut everyone into two to weaken them. But then humans became so miserable, they spent their entire lives searching for their other halves. In the end, Zeus kinda felt bad and said fuck it, I’ll give y’all dicks and vaginas for every time you wanna hug each other. And that’s the oldest explanation there is about the idea of soulmates.” she sighed, finished with her rant.
“That was...not at all the story I expected to hear.” she heard him mumble on the other side of the call. “Yeah, Greek philosophers were up to some reeal freaky things, you would have loved them,” he laughed at her joke, “I honestly think it’s cute. Not the whole cutting people into two thing, but like, longing for someone and then finding them because you finally feel complete. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a strong independent woman who doesn’t need a prince in shining whatever to sweep me off my feet. But it does sound nice, that ideal comfort, a person you’re just...meant to be with, I guess.”
There was a moment of silence that neither of them really minded, before it was Corpse’s turn to ask the second bold question of the night. “Have you found that person yet? Your soulmate?”
She’s never thought about it before, but she hasn’t really thought about soulmates that much either, it was a spontaneous thought she had said out loud. “I’m not sure, actually. (B/F/N) could be one, I guess.” (Y/N) shrugged in return. Wasn’t she going to ask him about it? She probably didn’t care that much. Understandable.
“My favourite quote about love is «You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly.». It’s by Sam Keen, the American philosopher. It maay be the hopeless romantic in me shining through, but I do very much agree with his statement.” Did this mean anyone could have a chance with her despite their fuckups? So if he were to try, would she-?
“Obviously, there are some things that just can’t be ignored or avoided, but at that point it’s preferences and personal tolerance. Depends on the person, ya know?” she swiftly added, unaware of the effect it had on him. Sick. Some people were just meant to rot alone.
The final question was posed by (Y/N). She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t at all curious. This little crush of hers had been steadily growing with every hang out, every laugh, every hug and every glance. There are rarely ever moments where one could casually discuss a topic this personal with friends, at least there weren’t with friends one had feelings for. This was the perfect opportunity.
“Corpse?”
“Hmm?”
“Have you ever been in love?” her voice was soft, her approach gentle.
“Well, I’ve been in relationships before, so I guess, yeah? It’s been so long, I don’t even know what love feels like anymore.” he let out a breath resembling a chuckle. Lamest fucking answer ever. But it was true. He hadn’t thought about love in that way in quite a while.
“A lot of people describe it as having an intense range of overwhelming feelings. Lightheadedness, slight shakiness, heart palpitations, some people have even reported losing their appetite. Crazy how human bodies work, huh? Oh! Speaking of chemicals-”
She had continued on to ramble about...chemistry? Eyes? Corpse couldn’t really hear what she was saying anymore, let alone concentrate on her words, as he pieced everything that’s been happening for the past few months together. The nauseating feeling. The pounding of his heart so fast it felt like he was about to die. The urge to make as little eye contact with her as possible, because otherwise he’d turn into a furnace. The obsession with her perfume, like he was some fucking creep. The fool was falling in love. And it was at that moment that everything had come crumbling down.
━
(Y/N) and Corpse hadn’t talked for a couple of weeks. Or rather (Y/N) messaged the 23 year old many times, but he’d either claim to be busy or just not answer at all. There were two possible reasons for the sudden lack of contact: he was indeed busy with his musical projects and couldn’t allow himself to be distracted; or something much more serious was going on. It didn’t matter, for she was already in her car, on her way to his apartment.
Arriving at her destination, she used the spare key he gave her months ago, a sign of absolute trust, and allowed herself into his humble abode. Silence reigned in her friend’s residence. She thought maybe he had gone somewhere, and though that was unlikely, it wasn’t unprecedented. The door to his recording room was closed, and while she was tempted to check if he was in there, she refrained from doing so, knowing that specific room was not to be entered unless he was around to give permission.
“Corpse?” she called out just to make sure. There was no response for a few minutes, which made her assume she had the place for herself, until she heard a door open behind her. Turning around, she saw his figure emerge from said recording room in a white t-shirt and black sweatpants, his curly hair disheveled.
“Hey, how are you d-”
“Why are you here?” he spoke flatly, interrupting her. “Well- You weren’t, um, answering your messages or any of my calls, so I thought something had happened.” she replied, suddenly nervous, fiddling with the rings on her fingers. “Nothing happened. I told you I was busy.”
The air around them seemed colder as tensions rose. (Y/N) could tell he was irritated, but she couldn’t exactly figure out why. She had never seen this side of him before. “Okay. Tell you what, I assume you haven’t had dinner yet, so why don’t I go ahead and start cooking something up while you-”
“Get out.”
She blinked a few times, not quite registering the words that had just left his mouth. “Sorry?” Her voice was quiet. She was taken off guard.
“Are you deaf? I said get. the fuck. OUT.”
Corpse shouted the last word, making her flinch in what appeared to be fear. Good. Run away while you still can. Heart pounding, (Y/N) took a second to remind herself whom she was speaking to. “I see that you’re angry, but at least give me a reason why-”
“You want a reason? I just don’t fucking WANT you here!” Anger grew inside of him like a tumor, but it wasn’t intended for her. She had simply been caught in a storm that had been building up for years. “Do you understand that?! I can’t fucking be around you without feeling like I’m going to EXPLODE.”
His words hit her like paintballs. They were only words, plain and simple, but they dug deeper and deeper into her skin with each hit, until, eventually, it broke. Eyes burning, she felt the tears slowly welling up in them.
“Why are you doing this to me?!” her own voice grew louder with frustration, but mostly, confusion.
“Maybe because I can? Because I’m a goddamn asshole?” 
“Don’t say that.”
“How?! How can I not say it when it’s the truth!” He wanted to stop. His mind told him to cease whatever it was that he was doing. However, blinded with resentment towards himself, he only spilled words he would regret after it was too late. 
“I can’t function like a normal fucking human being. I can’t be a good friend, son, or whatever the fuck else, and I sure as hell can’t love you.”
The paintballs had turned into a singular sword. A very long, very sharp sword that had found itself plunged deep inside her chest. How did he found out? When? Had she been too obvious? Had she been pushy? Clingy? Way out of line? The woman before him was unable to conceal her shock, as tears came rushing down her hot cheeks. Her voice brittle, she tried defending herself. She couldn’t leave it at that. She had to try. Try to have him see reason. “You don’t love me, that’s fine. But you didn’t have to deliver it this way-”
“But I did.” breathless with fury, Corpse clenched his fists so tight they had turned cold, yet they were still trembling. “You can get so naïve and dumb, you won’t understand things unless they’re spelled out nice and fucking bold for you.”
He closed with (Y/N) until their noses nearly touched. He noticed the way she silently shook, her eyes which shed endless tears never leaving his gaze. Unable to make a single sound, she felt the man’s hot breath on her face, his aura domineering.
“Now get. out.”
Her body wouldn’t cooperate as she just stood there. Staring back at him, her inner brows raised. Corpse wanted to hug her. Envelop her trembling figure with his and tell her he was sorry, that he meant none of it, that he had lost his mind. But he couldn’t bring himself to do anything. And with his own tears threatening to spill, he created a distance between them. He needed her gone.
“Leave! GO!”
His yelling was enough to jolt (Y/N) out of her trance, and, in a hurry, she sprinted towards the entrance. The door closed behind her, she felt a sudden urge to fill her lungs with much needed air. She jumped at the resounding scream that emanated from deep within his soul, letting out all of his pent-up rage.
Feet carrying her all the way to her car parked outside of the building, the young woman managed to climb in, and this was the queue for her body to break down. The night was young. The street empty. No one around to hear her long-lasting wailing. She clutched the steering wheel for support, fingers wrapping around the leather in a tight grip. A headache was creeping up from the back of her skull. Her ears pulsated in response to the heavy pounding of her heart. Clumsily, (Y/N) inserted the key into the ignition, felt around for the gear stick, and drove away. She didn’t know where she was going or how long it was going to take to get there. She needed to get out.
What went wrong? When did it go wrong? She couldn’t help but feel guilty, feel at fault. She had never seen that side of him before. He had never treated her that way before.
It was the hugs, wasn’t it? He had to have noticed the way she held on for a second too long to enjoy the smell of his cologne. Her vision blurred as she resumed softly weeping, her salty tears staining her top. Or it might have been the touchiness, she would practically glue herself to him during their movie nights. Unaware of both her actions and surroundings, (Y/N)’s breathing quickened, becoming ragged. Maybe he didn’t like the way she called him three times a week. Her hands were slowly losing control over the wheel, over the vehicle she was driving. She invaded his privacy. That was definitely it. Fuck. How could she have been so damn blind, selfish, ignorant, FUCKING STUPID.
Lights. Something was moving towards her- MOVE.
With a sharp turn, she dodged the approaching car just by a hair’s breadth, but as she had avoided one accident, another came just as quickly. 
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heyitsyn · 4 years ago
Text
Manager!Seijoh Part 8
a/n: okay so since my halloween special was a flop ill write this instead but uwuwuwuwu its also my birthday today so hehe this is kinda a special request too :D
WAIT YOU GUYS THIS IS TOTALLY IRRELEVANT IF YOURE NOT A POTTERHEAD BUT OMG I SHARE THE SAME BIRTHDAY AS SIRIUS BLACK LIKE WHAT :”) I THINK I SAVED A COUNTRY IN MY PAST LIFE OR SOMETHING :”)
for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!
anon:
- IF IT WAS YOUR BIRTHDAY! omg :0 i think we can all agree that the ramen shop will get GOOD BUSINESS that day. but it was a total surprise when the upperclassmen basically JUMP you after exiting your last class. vball practice? deliberately cancelled cuz today is YOUR day. kyo leading you, iwa making sure your eyes are closed while oikawa keeps teasing you on how you’re letting a group of men take you BLIND (cue the PUNCH). your smile is worth the XXX amount spent c,:
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LOOK HOW CUTE MATTSUHANA ARE IN THIS LIKE OMG ITS LIKE IWAOI SPIRIT SWITCHED W THEIRS AND NOW IWAOI HAVE TO PULL THEM APART INSTEAD OF THE OTHER WAY AROUND
okay yay happy birthday to me uwu
i kinda put this request off since my borfday was right around the corner so hahaha to the anon who requested this, here it is!!!
okay anyways!!!
so today is your borfday
obvs this could be any day lmao it doesnt have to be today but it can be any day just pretend the calendar was different lmao
you were born today and your parents and natsu obvs celebrated it the morning you woke up
like you were peacefully holding your squirtle plushie and snuggling close to get more sleep bc it was still early
but natsu quite literally kicked your door down and your parents walked in with a large cake with candles
STEPBRO WHAT ARE YOU-
okay ill stop now
ofc you were startled bc what the hek 
like you were so surprised that you rolled off the bed and landed harshly on the floor
instead of being yanno ‘yey! its my borfday!’ you were like ‘dear asahi kill me’
waking you up at the buttcrack of dawn?
lmao 10/10 not recommend
natsu felt really bad and he pulled you up from the floor and situated you back on the bed while your parents backtracked back downstairs
‘ohmygosh babygirl im so sorry i didnt mean to hulk smash you to the floor’
im sorry sir what 💀
this whore
you waved him off but he still felt guilty so he just pressed kisses to your forehead to soothe it
meanwhile youre just leaning against him, eyes closed, bc you grew up with natsu always doing this whenever you got hurt so it was such a soff moment for you
eventually, he was able to bring you downstairs and your parents were lowkey scared lmao but you smiled at them
‘thank you for the cake’
they breathed a sigh of relief and you sat down on the chair to eat breakfast
‘here darling’
you accepted the bowl of rice from your madre and you ate your birthday breakfast with them while yall are saving the cake for later during dinner
when you finished, you were getting up and shouting up the stairs that you were showering first
hehe natsu was all like ‘lmao why? its like 4 in the morning’
you froze, foot hovering over a step and you sighed
‘excuse me what 💀‘
yea no
you were dragged back to the kitchen and you were all pouty bc duh who the hek wants to wake up that early but your parents saved themselves by giving you your parents early
(literally anything you guys want they gave you okay? but only like 3 lmao not a bajillion things)
you were still grateful for everything and you felt very much appreciated
since it was still early, you just decided to screw it and got ready to go to school early and set up the gym for early morning practice
natsu volunteered to go with you to school but you shook your head
‘nah, im okay. the walk is peaceful’
he huffed, crossing his arms, but nodded anyways
‘fine. only because its your birthday’
hehehehe the amount of freedom during your day of birth
you were of course the first one in the gym but you didnt mind bc you actually liked the quietness that was so rare inside there
you turned on some (f/m) (lmao favorite/music) and you were sweeping, unknowingly swaying and dancing slightly
at around 5:40, the third years have arrived and since theyre the eldest, they usually get there first
omg the blush explosion on their faces when they saw you twirling around with the mop and ofc oikawa being the little poopie head he is, he swooped in and held your waist
you got startled but seeing the soft brown eyes of your captain made a soft smile appear on your face
‘hello, oikawa-san’
you whispered and he nuzzled his face to the side of your head softly
‘morning, y/n-chan’
before he could go on, iwa threw him away behind him and you giggled
mattsun raised an eyebrow at your odd behavior
‘hm? why are you so happy today, y/n-chan?’
you stopped then chuckled
‘nothing much, mattsun-san’
you didnt really want to tell them it was your birthday bc tbh you didnt think it was a big deal or anything
the others werent complaining bc they rarely see you so lively and upbeat and they loved it
you were humming under your breath for gods sake
the other boys have trickled in and again, they also went ‘?’
your soft smiles, giggles, and joy was everything to them 
god bless for this beautiful morning
poor kindaichi cowered in fright as he braced himself for a scolding from you for missing a block but he got even more scared when you just patted his head
‘its okay, yuu-kun. there’s always a next time’
yea there was something wrong
unfortunately, school was starting and they weren’t able to start questioning you and there aint no way kindaichi and kunimi were going to do that themselves without the upperclassmen who could calm you down if you got too defensive
you were skipping down the hallway and you even looped your arms around your first year friends and they shared a confused look before being dragged by you
during class, darling kunimi was too busy and distracted by your quiet singing of some show that takeru watched when you were over
‘KUNIMI-SAN, IS MATH SO BORING THAT YOU FIND INTEREST ON L/N-SAN INSTEAD?’
yes, yes it is
but he didnt say that and instead turned away so fast that you felt the wind beside you
DID A 180 CRAZY~~~
he texted the separate bros group chat about you still being all happy and they were all curious as to what makes you so happy
during lunch time, kindaichi usually went over to go eat with you and kunimi right?
but he was surprised when he just saw kunimi there without you
‘wh-’
‘i dont know’
‘what do you mean you dont know?!’
nah fam we not dying yet
natsu texted you earlier that he had a bento for you that he made himself and he wanted you to eat it instead of the one your mom made
you were passing by the building entrance door thingy and caught the attention of the third years who were at the rooftop eating their lunch
there was also other students outside and they watched your flowery aura skip over to the equally attractive hiroshi natsu
‘y/n-chan~’
he cooed and you smiled up at him
curse him and his tall height
he let you hold the f/c cloth covered box so he could cup your face and kiss over your booboo again
‘wo mow, matsu-’
translation: no more, natsu!
you whined as he kept kissing your forehead and you were turning red at the attention from the other students
dang oikawa crushed his juice box at the sight even though he knew natsu was just a cousin
‘ill save you, y/n-chan!’
he shouted, already flying down the stairs towards you and the other third years after him to keep him from doing something stupid
but they also lowkey wanna see you too
but by the time they reached the entrance, you were already walking away and even passed by the quartet, giving them a close-eyed smile and a cute ‘hello!’
the 3 were distracted by you and were coddling you while oikawa ran out and shouted after natsu’s retreating form
‘natsu! oi, natsu!’
as if the boy was purposely ignoring him, natsu kept walking forward
‘HIROSHI NATSU!’
his scream finally made him turn around and natsu’s face held a teasing smirk
‘oya? chibi-chan?’
KDJFSLFDFKDSJKFD YES YOU CALLED?
oikawa huffed and panted as he firmly walked over to natsu
‘tell me, hiroshi natsu. why is y/n-chan all cutesy and happy today?’
then the smirk fell, replaced by an actual, genuine annoyed look
‘hah?’
oikawa blinked
‘what do you mean ‘hah’?’
natsu waved his hands around in a frenzy of shock
‘so you mean to tell me, you, oikawa tooru, the dude who literally woke up the neighborhood at the buttcrack of dawn a few weeks ago, in love with my cousin, doesn’t know what today is?’
‘was i supposed to,,,, know?’
KSDLFJSDKFJDS THIS DUDE
natsu’s face became a meme and the guy was so disappointed that he just turned around and continued walking
oikawa gasped and clutched natsu’s arm, begging and pleading to tell him
ofc the little shite natsu is, he smirked down at oikawa’s kneeling form
‘hmm, gotta say, chibi-kun. i like this view~’
KDSLFJSDKFJLSDKFJDKS WHOS CHILD ARE YOU, HIROSHI NATSU
‘tell me, natsu-chan!’
the puppy eyes of oikawa tooru not only affected girls but also boys fully socked homosexual boys so natsu had to turn away, fighting down a blush
stay loyal to katsuki
stay loyal to katsuki
stay loyal to katsuki
wait, no, probably tetsu
or kenma
or both
or keiji
‘-me! natsu-chan!’
that snapped the pink-haired boy out of his thoughts and crossed his arms, glaring down at oikawa
‘hm, why do you wanna know so bad? youre on your knees, begging me for information you shouldve already known since you claim to like her so much’
oikawa pouted and he sniffled
‘i wanna know everything about y/n-chan. i wanna know what today is so i can make her as happy as she is today forever!’
‘youre so cheesy’
natsu chided and oikawa pouted even harder causing natsu to sigh and pinch his nose
‘the girl was born today’
oikawa’s face lit up and he hurriedly stood on his feet, hands on natsu’s biceps since he could barely reach natsu’s shoulders bc of his 6â€Č5 height
‘its her birthday today?!’
‘i literally just said that-’
‘oh my gosh! we need to plan something!’
oikawa started but then frowned
‘but we’re in school so it would be too late to do a surprise when we finish’
his mumbles 
filled their vicinity and natsu finally realized where exactly they were so he tugged the still mumbling boy over to the side out of people’s view
ohmygosh if i saw 2 handsome, tall, hot boys there, id be staring too omg
‘oi, oikawa’
he still didnt budge until natsu had to kick him at the leg
rip not his knee yall
tooru flinched and hatefully glared at the boy but natsu pointedly glared at him right back
‘before you start bitching to me, i was just gonna suggest i can help you and your little plan to woo my baby cousin’
as if he wasn’t irritated in the first place, tooru lit up and he excitedly clung onto natsu
‘really? you’ll really help me?’
natsu rolled his eyes and tried to pry the brunette off of him but he felt the grip tighten
‘listen, oikawa, as much as i like having pretty boys hang on to me, i’d really appreciate if you just back off a bit and actually understand what im saying’
can i just say how long their lunch break is?
and not at natsu trying to get with oikawa and oikawa completely missing it
‘you can go do your education scam system thing while i can go set things up over at that one noodle place she likes’
natsu explained
oikawa was about to smile until he paused and leaned away
‘theres a catch. i know theres a catch’
then natsu smirked, confirming oikawa’s suspicion
‘ill think about what i really want but for now, i just wanna see that one doggie boy you guys have. also, your friend with the big arms’
lmao imagine the surprise in oikawa’s face
‘YOU GO FOR THEM BUT NOT ME?!’
‘why? you want me to?’
‘YES! i mean, well-no but YES!’
‘*sigh*’
thats how oikawa ended up telling the boys about the last minute birthday surprise for you and the help from natsu
‘yea, apparently its her birthday. also, iwa-chan, kyoken-chan, you need to talk to natsu-chan’
‘hah?! why?!’
‘THAT IDIOT?!’
you were minding your own business during class until you saw kunimi raise his hand
‘yes, kunimi-kun?’
‘bathroom’
normally, you wouldve just looked away but you noticed him grab his bag when the teacher wasn’t looking which prompted you to sigh since he was skipping class
i mean, whats the point of skipping class when the day is about to be over in like 15 minutes anyways?
‘make sure to come to practice’
you whispered when he passed and he smiled, making you raise an eyebrow bc that was a smile you knew that had a hidden meaning behind it
when the bell rang, everyone nyoomed themselves out of there and you were just walking past the door when a body came crashing to you which made you distracted and allowed a chance of vulnerability
there was a pair of hands covered your eyes from behind, hands grabbed your own from in front, and an arm around your waist started to guide you forward
‘um, just so you know, i have the power of god, anime, and iwa-san by my side and i wont hesitate to kick you in the di-’
‘its so cute when y/n-chan threatens us’
a voice from in front of you hums and you smiled
‘you wont think im really cute once youre on the floor clutching your di-’
‘oi, y/n, ill wash your tongue with soap’
‘yes, iwa-san’
you continued to walk, completely trusting at the hands of your boys, when you felt yourself being pulled to turn a corner
‘iwa-san? aren’t we going to the gym? why are we exiting the gates?’
the boys exchanged a look of amazement at your sense of intuition and the accuracy of your guess despite being deprived of your senses
‘dont think you can lie to us, y/n-chan! how could you not tell us its your birthday today?!’
you heard mattsun a few feet in front of you whine and you giggled
‘its not important’
then kyotani scoffed, you knowing it was him by feeling him twitch by the arm around your waist
‘boke, of course its important’
‘so your punishment for lying to us, we’re kidnapping you’
makki teased and you rolled your eyes beneath iwa’s hands
‘oh, shiver me timbers’
the walk continued, you still being dragged around, and you heard oikawa laugh
‘oh dear, its a sight to see, ain’t it? if only you can see the looks people are giving us, y/n-chan~ a group of boys taking a little girl like you? how could you trust us to not do something to you-ACK!’
you cut him off when you lifted your foot to kick right where it hurts the most
forget his weewee
its the knee
poor child crumbled to the floor and had to be picked up by baby watari
‘oh wata-cchi, youre the only one who cares about oikawa-san!’
you heavily sighed at the exagerrated theatrics of your captain
‘the one day. the one day when he could be a normal person for once’
you grumbled but stopped when you heard iwa laugh by your ear
‘he’s right you know. you technically lied to us when we asked if there was something special’
you shivered and you leaned your head back
‘its okay, iwa-san. we can talk about it after this event. make sure to give me my present, okay?’
SKDLFJSDKFJDSKFLDS GIRL NO I CANT I WANNA JUMP-
but iwa chuckled and he promised you that you would love his present
kyotani’s arm tightened around you, as if prompting you that he was still there and he wanted your attention too
‘careful there, pup’
he warned when you almost tripped over air
‘hehe, i know ill always be safe when youre next to me, kyo-san’
you teased and he was lucky your eyes were covered bc you would see the way his cheeks tinted red
‘s-shut up, idiot! maybe i shouldve just let you fall and hit your head! not like its gonna do damage since theres nothing there anyways!’
you just giggled and he retaliated by pinching your waist to which you squealed and gripped his hands
then the smell of the ramen broth entered your nose
‘are we-?’
‘nope! not there yet, y/n-chan!’
oikawa’s voice made you whine and complain but then he stopped, making everyone else stop too
‘okay, iwa-chan, kyoken-chan, release her!’
both grumbled something about you being treated like a pokemon but stopped when your eyes widened and contorted into confusion
‘huh?’
oikawa grinned and your eyes met to see the way his eyes crinkled, a tell-tale sign that this one was a rare genuine smile
‘come on! lets go!’
you let him take you inside the restaurant until your feet stopped, eyes wide when you noticed the streamers and the cake by the corner
your parents stood with natsu by the table and a large smile decorated your face
‘you,, you did this for me?’
you whispered and the team made noises of agreement
‘we had to do something for you to celebrate the day you were born. its a special day because you came into the world and we were able to meet you’
yahaba grinned and you gave him a big hug but you leaned back a bit so that the others would know you’re talking to them too
‘everyone, thank you. i love you’
they all scoffed a bit to hide their flustered state but they still smiled and each gave you a hug
‘oi! come here and eat the food! oikawa’s paying today!’
natsu shouted, which caught the attention of some customers in the restaurant, but they just ignored it bc theyve seen you and the team so many times that yall practically lived there
‘what?! i didnt-’
oikawa started but your mother came up to him and clasped her hands to his, sharing the same exact grin you have
‘you must be oikawa tooru. y/n has told me loads about you’
excuse him while he descends to heaven bc your mother is practically another you
iwa was already acquainted with your dad so they started talking and you just stood back, observing your two families interact with each other
you were so unbelievably happy that it hurts
kindaichi noticed you and he slinked away from the debate between makki and mattsun to go sling an arm around you
‘so? what do you think?’
you turned to him with glassy eyes
‘im so blessed. so blessed to have these amazing people with me’
poor babie panicked a bit bc he didnt really know how to comfort a crying girl but he just wrapped his arms around you
‘hehe, its kinda the other way around actually. we’re blessed to have someone like you’
he whispered and you giggled then playfully hit his shoulder
‘so cheesy, yuu-kun’
he leaned away from the hug and gave you an offended look
‘but its true! i dont know what we did to have-’
‘Y/N-CHAN! NO! HELP!’
oikawa shouted from the other side, cutting off your soft moment with kindaichi
‘what are you doing, natsu?’
you noticed your cousin wrapping his arms around your captain and trying to drag him away but poor tooru was scrambling to escape
‘we made a deal, didnt we, darling~? i know what i want now and youre going to have to give me you’
oikawa screamed
a/n: can we please pretend i posted this on november 3? bc i was dumb and forgot to post this and KLDJLSDKFJDSKD IM SO ANGRY but its okay at least i am able to publish this haha
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dreamkidddream · 4 years ago
Note
I really enjoyed your writing on the ADA members with a younger sibling like partner <33 I was wondering if you could write the same scenario but with Chuuya and Fyodor? Except the younger partner in question has a rough past and cheery/joking personality similar to Dazai(?) I'm super excited to see more of your writing!! c:
Hi anon! Thank you for the compliment and for reading (here’s the scenario for those that want to read it)! The only difference is that instead of this reader being pure, they’re going to be like a mini Dazai (or at least similar to him). One change that I did make was that Reader isn’t as suicidal as Dazai (ie. constantly trying to find a way to end their life), but Reader is ready to go whenever and wherever, whether it’s on their terms or not. Reader is gender neutral and hope you enjoy!
Also ayyyeeee my first time writing for Fyodor! Hope I did him justice cause his part took a while lol
TW: Mentions of suicide, dark moments (Reader is a bit sadistic, but nothing graphic is mentioned) small spoilers for Dark Era arc and Season 3
Acting as a Younger Sibling with a Rough Past and Personality Similar to Dazai with: Chuuya and Fyodor
Chuuya
Well he was extremely disturbed to say the least. Okay extremely may be over exaggerating, but the way you acted got underneath his skin bad
You reminded him too much of Dazai, minus the suicide attempts and the animosity towards him. Although that didn’t stop the morbid jokes from happening
“Hey Chu-Chu, what did the librarian say to the guy that wanted to check out a book on how to commit suicide?”
“How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that!-“
“Go away, you’re not going to bring it back. HA! A knee slapper, am I right?”
He wondered if Dazai got to you first like he did Akutagawa, and if he did, that was just another reason to strangle him
You were his partner, and you were young. So seeing the way you interacted with everyone and everything with such a pessimistic attitude while still being cheery was alarming
Not to mention how easy it is for you to just readily accept death at every turn. You’re the literal embodiment of “guess I’ll die” and it drives Chuuya up the wall every time
He remembers the one time an enemy held you hostage how you were so cheerful to finally be rid of this joke you called a life, and that you told the guy who was holding a gun to your head to “put it between the eyes, it looks 10x better that way.” And “don’t be afraid to blow my brains out either! But you do you, but I think it’s a rather stylistic choice if I do say so myself.”
The man thought you were trying to distract him at first, but when he figured out that you were serious he honestly got so nervous he was ready to just let you go and suggest therapy lmao
After he handled the situation, he took you directly under his wing. Sure, you were already his partner, but he was really going to look out for you including outside of work. If it meant that he had to “babysit” you, then oh well
Plus he didn’t want to face Mori if he just let you die while under his care
You realized what he was trying to do when you two would go off to “collect information” and would be doing the complete opposite. “Hey, I’m kinda hungry, let’s take a break and grab a bite to eat.”
“I thought we had to get this info back to Mori ASAP. Not that I care if he’s mad, he’s been holding out on me and this is the perfect way to take revenge.”
“Holding out how?”
“I told him that since he’s a doctor he would be the perfect teacher to show me some new techniques.”
“...on?”
“Torturing, duh! My methods are getting kinda stale, and I do want to perfect my craft after all. I want to be good at something before I kick the bucket, Chu.”
Poor man is honestly in so much distress because of you please help him
And the way you interacted with the other members was both entertaining and horrifying to watch at times. Majority of the time, you were this happy go lucky kid with a dark sense of humor (you still made people smile, although sometimes it was tense or apprehensive, but whatever a smile is still a smile). But when you were having a bad day or a mission was going wrong, everyone knew to steer clear of you.
A new recruit tried to cheer you up one day, telling you that “it could always be worse”. You then got pulled into the office with a very angry Chuuya and a mildly disappointed Mori.
Chuuya finally had enough after months of this occurred. It was like a never ending cycle: except your behavior was getting increasingly more reckless and dangerous. It was driving him crazy trying to figure out why you were this way and if it was any way to snap you out of it
He wasn’t a stranger to death, he’s seen it with his own two eyes, end even killed people with his bare hands. But the huge difference between you two is that he didn’t particularly enjoy killing, if it had to be done then he had no problems doing so; it comes with the job y’know? But with you, you took actual pleasure in killing. It filled you with a sick sense of glee, and it even made his stomach turn
The bond between you two grew from just a typical work relationship (as far as working in the mafia goes). He knew that from underneath your rather concerning persona, you were just troubled. Someone or something made you this way, and while he had his own troubles growing up, he was able to deal with it and overcome his issues. It just seemed like you just...gave in to yours. And it made him feel pity for you.
You didn’t mind Chuuya at all. You actually liked being his partner! He was pretty much the only person that you didn’t feel a need to harm or kill. And he was fun to be around, when he wasn’t being such a party pooper (I mean what’s the point of being in the mafia when you can’t purposely spill some blood every now and then for fun?). The only thing you didn’t like was how he would try and get you to talk about your past. You honestly didn’t see a point in it, it’s called the past for a reason, why didn’t he understand that?!
But no matter how many times you would shut down or try to change the subject, he would always try again, and again, and again. It was very annoying. And you didn’t like to talk about it. Why didn’t Chuuya understand that?!
Eventually, his pestering worked. One day after a rough mission when he had to patch you up, you opened up to him. You didn’t immediately tell him everything, but you gave him small insights to what happened, to what lead you to be this way
You could tell that he was grateful that he was finally getting somewhere with you. And you yourself was surprised that your dynamic didn’t change. He didn’t look at you with sympathy in his eyes, he didn’t baby you, he wasn’t disgusted by you, everything was normal. The only difference is that Chuuya told you that it was okay to talk to him, and that you shouldn’t be scared to approach him (psh you scared, yeah okay)
Chuuya felt like a weight lifted off his shoulders once you opened up. You were still a bit sadistic (but you did tone it back after the recruit incident, and after you saw how repulsed he looked, so you just did everything behind closed doors now) and had your cheery persona on, but it felt a little bit more real now. It felt genuine. It gave him a good feeling to see some spark in your eyes instead of the full he felt himself getting used to. And he would never say it to you, but it also gave him a warm feeling with him being your role model (you knew but didn’t want to burst his bubble yet)
Your change wasn’t very noticeable at first, but that’s okay. No one needed to know, it was fine with just you and Chuuya. You still felt the desire to just be done with life, but it wasn’t your focus whenever you were with him. You hadn’t made peace with your past yet, but you felt you could one day with him by your side. He was someone that you didn’t knew you needed (or wanted to admit to), but it worked out in the end. You had doubts that you could or would ever change, but if you did, growing to be someone like Chuuya would’nt be the worst possible outcome
Plus, whenever he did run into Dazai with his new sidekick, he is 10000% bragging about how much better and cooler you are, with him being the superior between them both. He can’t WAIT till you guys can whoop their ass
Fyodor
Well weren’t you such an interesting character
To see someone as young as you ready to just leave this world in an abrupt way was intriguing, and he realized that he could use this to his advantage. Maybe even give you something to gain in exchange
He found you hiding inside a disgusting abandoned building (a fitting place for a rat if he would say so himself), drenched in blood. Fyodor didn’t necessarily care why, but he was curious about one thing: why were you smiling? Your eyes were so lifeless, yet here you were smiling so bright, as if you weren’t covered in someone’s blood
Fyodor found himself smiling down at you. Did you think he was prey, that he was going to be your next target? He wanted you to try, he wanted to see what you were really capable of
“Tell me, what is going to be your next move? Do you wish to attack me?”
“If you do something that I don’t like, then yes, that’s the plan. Why are you here Mister? You wanna have some fun too?”, your smile turned into a smirk, twirling your very sharp knife in your hand. “You’re not even from here, so why are you trying to bother such an innocent kid like me?”
He matched your smirk, “You are from innocent, child, even a blind man can see that. To see just how full of sin you are. This wasn’t your first atrocity that you committed nor would it be your last. Which is a shame, it might be too late for me to cleanse you of your filth.”
Oh, he was going to be very amusing to mess with. But you weren’t stupid. Something wasn’t right with this man. No one would walk up to someone with copious amounts of blood on them, holding a weapon that caused said blood, while berating them about being “full of sin”. What was his ability? Did he have people with him? Was the building surrounded or booby trapped? These questions swirled around your head, all while he just kept smirking at you. He was pissing you off, who the hell did he think he was?
But you kept your anger at bay, plastering a cheerful smile on your face. “Sin? Cleanse me of my filth? I guess I do kinda stink but who exactly do you think you are, some type of God?”
“That’s exactly what I am. I’m here to free this world from this wretched curse that has been brought upon.”
...huh? Did-did he escape from the asylum or something? Did he seriously believe himself to be a God (not even a prophet but an actual God)? Seeing your confusion, he continued on, “The curse of ability users. They plague this Earth, and they need to be eliminated.”
“Why is that? What’s wrong with having abilities? Hellooooo, some people’s abilities are actually pretty cool! If you just have a terrible ability, it’s your problem, not the world-“
“Why not let me show you why it’s indeed a curse?”
“And how would you do that? You must be crazy if you think I’m going anywhere with you. I may be dangerous but I’m not dumb!”
“You poor, misguided soul.”, he tutted at you. “Look at where you have ended up at. These people with these so called “cool abilities” have failed you, have they not? Yet you still idolize them, not believing that they are the reason for your misfortunes. If they were truly your idols, they wouldn’t have left you to fend for yourself, to live among the rats. They left you to rot, do you not see that?”
He was hitting too close to home, he was getting too personal, too close. He didn’t know you at all, you’re a complete stranger to him, but why did his words hold some truth to them?
“Come with me, and I will prove to you first hand why this has to be done.”, he was now physically close to you, staring you deep into your eyes. “It would be such a waste for you to die without knowing the truth, wouldn’t you agree?”
You didn’t have much, he wasn’t wrong. But if he could take you somewhere with real food and not scraps you had to fight to find, and to have real shelter, then fine. You agreed. And if you felt that something was up, you’ll just kill him, run away, or both
After he took you away, he kept to his word. It seemed like he was really was telling the truth, you getting first-hand experience like he promised. It was scary that he was right, but you were also indebted to him. He not only allowed you to live in luxury (at least it was luxury to you considering what you had before), but he opened your eyes to what the true problem is. He gave your life a new purpose. If you two were able to successfully complete his goal, then your problems would be gone forever right? You would finally be able to feel a sense of peace, and you can’t wait till that could happen
You and Fyodor, after he opened your eyes, bonded easier than in the beginning. You were smart enough to not fully trust him after leaving with him, but after just a couple of pulled strings to cause certain things to happen, you slowly melted and molded into the way that he planned. You would be an excellent pawn in his grand plan, and you would do well in keeping him entertained at the same time
You were a joyful child, even when carrying out his dirty work, you did so gleefully. After joining the Rats in the House of the Dead, you tried to spread that joy among the other members. They didn’t find it very amusing, but you didn’t care and neither did Fyodor. You were far too important to let go of now
You were always by him, it seemed. Always in the same space, whether he was planning his next move, and playing the cello, you were always there with this look of awe directed at him. Every time he would catch you staring, he would simply chuckle and softly reprimand you about, “how rude it is to stare, but you simply can’t help it.”
He even taught you how to play the cello!
You sounded terrible but practice makes perfect
As time went on and the end goal seeming to be closing in, he came to see you as more than just an expendable tool. He found out about your past, but simply proved to you once again why you two had to make sure the curse was ridden as soon as possible. No one wanted a repeat of what happened to you to happen to anyone else, so the mission had to be success. Failure was not an option
Fyodor didn’t see himself as a cruel man towards you. He just didn’t mince his words and he made sure that you were dealing with the truth, and not some lie that was attempted to be twisted as reality. If anything, that was the way that he showed that he held some compassion for you, he wasn’t willing to let you be lead astray from the truth again, not while he was here. You had somehow wiggled your way into his mind, where he had been accepting of your close bond, and he took that into consideration
Once his goal is achieved and he has truly made his place known as a God, he’ll make sure that you gain your rightful place among him as well. You were worthy in Fyodor’s eyes, and as long as nothing came in between your bond and the end goal, then everything will work out. He will make sure of that.
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tundrainafrica · 4 years ago
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Do you kinda wish that Isayama would just come outright and say that Levihan is actually legitimate? I believe it is and that he tried his best to show it but people *still* fight against it and deny it to the best of there ability sometimes and I don’t know why. I admit, I have a selfish desire that he will just confirm it for us because I’m tired of being attacked out of nowhere or made fun of for believing it’s real and appreciating it. Forgive my mini rant. I’m just tired of the hate ^_^
I kinda wish he would too. But at the same time, I think one of the reasons why I fell in love with this ship more than others is because it was incredibly subtle and it left a lot for me to speculate.
I don't really fall for ships that are pushed by the author or are admitted to be 'canon' either through material or through interviews because for me, it's like "Okay, you had to tell everyone that they were together. You made them kiss, you made them fuck and you made them all mushy in the big screen" and it doesn't hit as hard as the subtle ones for various reasons.
For one, if they aren't mushy in canon, but there are enough hints for people to speculate, it implies one thing for me, the two characters--- in this case, Levi and Hange--- are naturally not romantic people but someone-- or some bond--- is changing them for the 'better' or someone was close enough to them to have them doing just the slightest things and isn't the 'slightest things' much more believable than having Levi and Hange just have forest sex in chapter 126 lmao. (I mean, if they did it would definitely feel like a cop out.
And a lot of the shows I watched or books I read which had my favorite characters end up romantic had romance fall flat for me because two things usually happen: One they just end up together with little to no reasonable development or two they make the romance such a big part of the story that it becomes annoying.
For example, I know twilight is a romance novel lmao but I remember having this rant with a few of my friends about how Twilight had such amazing lore which could have really been explored if the author didn't use up half the whole series showing how damn indecisive Bella was.
I mean I think I've pointed out that my favorite couples really were Yuuri and Victor for one because sure they were so obviously canon but the thing is, the fact that they hid the kiss in episode 7 and the engagement promise rings, just made all the speculation sweeter. And even if they didn't develop obviously, I found the dynamic and how their relationship developed just extremely natural that they were definitely one of the most refreshing ships I have witnessed in my life and definitely one of my favorites. I could say the same for both Royai, Percabeth and Shikatema, they had good grounds for a relationship.
Tbh, I have no problem with mushiness I guess but I usually only enjoy it already when I'm already invested in the couple and I think they have gone through enough soul searching and suffering on their own before getting together. Romance has to be worked on. Nobody falls in love with anyone over night. And I've said it before, but I don't find kisses and sex as 'moving' as a lot of other scenes. I mean I love my smut and all but kissing, making out and sex are really easy to do and most people could literally do it with a stranger because let’s face it, most if not all humans were biologically engineered to be intimate to keep our race alive but like humans also have a natural survival instinct to stay within their comfort zones. 
Love is a feeling which is supposed to transcend our current facilities as humans so if it’s not pushing us out of our comfort zones, it might not be love. Sure, it can be intimacy, it can be attraction but I like to think that intimacy and love or attraction and love can be mutually exclusive. 
Loving is very difficult to do. Thus I liken it more to cooperation than to intimacy or attraction 
If you really loved someone, you'd go to hell and back for them and I am a firm believer that you never know if you really love someone until you've seen the worst parts of them or how difficult it is to actually be with the person. So, how to check if someone really loves you, how do they handle anger when you piss them off, how do they handle you when you're at your most difficult. How do two people in a relationship handle each other when they're both at their worst states?
My favorite scenes in romantic movies were definitely the less mushy ones like in crazy rich asians, I really loved the mahjong scene when she confronted the dude's mom because kissing your boyfriend is easy, confronting the low key racist and anti-poor mom? In six of crows, Kaz and Inej too tbh, I mean come on, Kaz putting his damn business on the line for her? That's way better than a kiss.
Okay I'm digressing lmao, thanks for listening to my rant but in terms of 'canonicity,' yes I get frustrated that people don't notice it or just say 'best friends do that too because I dunno? I really think that most if not all best friends have considered dating the other at least for a while. Because no one gets that close without considering living together for life and living together for life? Isn't that the point of marriage? So like talking about living together for life, just the two of you, even just platonically is just like hmmmm. I mean no need for the romance and all but if people are willing to commit to someone like that, I think that's love.
I've said it before, I'll say it again.
If you wanna be in a fun, healthy, happy long term relationship you marry your best friend or you know, make your partner your best friend. Like date someone you've gone through hell and back with because relationships are hell and you're gonna go through hell and back again and again and again in an endless cycle so might as well do it with someone you're used to struggling with right?
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