#kind of weird dreams tbh i wish i remembered more of it because i remember thinking wow papyrus circus looks REALLY awesome

[spiderdotexe]

two nonsensical undertale / deltarune dreams i had the past 2 days. i drew the bits i do remember. the dreams were probably really cool but i barely remember anything

[ectospacecadet]

Sam's toxic relationship with Danny.

Alright, so, in Double Cross My Heart we all know Sam gets a new crush and Danny becomes jealous. But, after watching this episode for the umpteenth time, I really don't think he was jealous, he was just being overprotective as always (13).

Moving on, there was something about Gregor I noticed from the get-go and why I think Sam just fell for him on-sight, anyone want to take a guess?

Well, let's see, he's tan, wearing black and white, has white hair, and green eyes (he takes his sunglasses off at the end of the episode). Any of these attributes sound, I dunno, familiar?

Do I think this was intentional? Yes, but not from his end, he had no idea Sam has a crush on Phantom, and yes I mean Phantom. Why?

This is when Sam's crush on Danny actually started, this moment here. No not earlier in the episode when they're holding hands, she and Danny do blush but it's because they're in an awkward situation, not because 'oh no I'm touching my crush's hands'. Sam doesn't show any actual interest in Danny in any episode prior to this, sure she and Danny are dancing together at the freshman dance (parental bonding) but there's no romance underlying the scene, it's just two friends dancing platonically, Danny even says he wish he took her just because she wanted to go.

Do I think Sam even knows she has a crush on Phantom and not Danny? No, she's 14, she wouldn't understand that. Why do I think that? Well it's just the way she treats Danny as Danny and not as Phantom, when Danny does regular teenage boy stuff she gets all angry and annoyed by him and Tucker, but when it comes to the ghost stuff she's not as bad about it. I get she's trying to get him to be more mature etc, but he's 14 xD let him be 14.

Then there's Memory Blank, remember how she just straight up gets called out for her causing issues with Danny and just not apologising for any of it? She apologises for the fight, not for what she's done, and Danny just rolls over. It's insane. "Welcome to my world, remember? We should make the menu recyclo-vegetarian! We should let the gorilla out! We should sell all of your dad’s stuff at a garage sale!" "Anything else you want to blame me for? The ice age? Puberty?" "Sam, both monsters knew your name. Either there’s another Sam involved in ghost fighting-- or it’s you." "How about a “thank you”, huh?"

She never actually apologises for any of that tbh, even in this episode she had a go at Danny for beating up the possessed cow balloon and not for haunting the Truck Dealership place. Y'know, he does mature superhero things and she's like "yeah but my agenda", Sam has a tendency to only be mad at Danny for abusing his ghost powers if it doesn't give her perks.

Killer Garage Sale: Danny gains popularity, Sam is ugh. Splitting Images (the NEXT episode): Danny (who's possessed and Tucker even states Danny's acting weird) gains popularity, Sam ignores Tucker's observation and jumps on Danny's popularity to save the frogs.

I feel like the two finally getting together was only because of Elmer's initial plan, but in-universe they only got together because every other character insisted on it. Sam only has the Class Ring because Valerie dumped him and the only reason it has her name in it is because of Jack, Danny never actually gave it to her.

Alright, gonna jump all the way to Frightmare now because I think, even subconsciously, Danny just doesn't have any real feelings for Sam. Why?

Because this happens. In order to wake up from Frightmare's dream helmet things, you need to have a shock in their dream, or basically a nightmare. So Danny's dream was basically perfect up until Danny was confronted with what he thinks is what he wants, yet he wakes up in distress over it. Then there's Sam's dream, which is identical, but Sam wouldn't have woken up from the kiss, it took this to snap her out of it.

Which feels... Kind of telling to me. Sam's perfect dream was happening and she would have remained asleep, but Danny's exact same dream was happening and he woke up. Our subconciouses are basically our thoughts and feelings in their purest form, the way how you feel about something will be very apparent in an instant.

Ok, last episode I'm gonna talk about it, ugh, Phantom Planet. I know, I know, the writing in this episode was so messed up, but the one thing it did get consistent was Sam's character in this. I'm just going to take her last line in the show, which also happens to be the last line in the show, period. "Why not? Cool statue. Personally I would have made it out of recycled materials but, you know, that's just me." Honey, your boyfriend just saved the entire planet and you're going to take the time to complain about his statue??? Like... C'mon Sam... Anyway, yeah, there's a lot more I could say about this btw, but I think I'm done here. Personally, I think if Paulina and Danny wound up together I don't think it'd be as toxic as one with Sam's currently is. "But she only loves Phantom", yeah, but also she's never mean to Danny on her own, she's only mean to him in front of her friends and to Sam to piss her off. She always singles Danny out from his 'loser friends'. Weird huh? ((Just know I'm not saying I ship Paulina with Danny, just that she's actually not as bad as people think she is to him, she's a lot less mean to him than Sam is tbh, you can probably guess who I think is the better person for Danny xD)).

So yeah, I feel like after some time Danny's relationship with Sam would dwindle and eventually end, they'd still be friends, but just that.

I'll end it there.

EDIT: I also forgot about this.

Danny spies on Sam with Gregor because he’s worried Gregor’s with the GIW and doesn’t want Sam to get hurt, Sam gets mad at him for spying on her whilst on a date.

But when both Sam and Tucker spy on him and Valerie because they’re worried Valerie might waste him as Danny Phantom (Sam also has some very blatant jealousy spikes) everything is ok???

I don’t think Danny gets upset that Sam and Gregor kiss because he’s jealous either, I think it’s because either: A) he’s realising he might be wrong, B) he’s worried that if he’s right Sam’ll be heartbroken. If he was jealous he wouldn’t have been suddenly ok with Gregor after stopping the GIW from attacking him, he even apologised to Sam for the spying, Sam and Tucker never did ouo

When Danny goes on to say there’s many reasons to want to date Sam, again, only Sam blushes here, Danny just plays it off and doesn’t blush at all. He was just being a good friend and making her feel better, not saying he would date her. He’s 14, he doesn’t know you can platonically call someone pretty.

Let’s not forget Danny’s feelings for Valerie haven’t gone anywhere yet, the episode (double cross your heart) literally starts like this.

[boundlessentity]

Everyone needs to go see You’re Next asap because it was incredible and I was grinning like a stupid little idiot the whole time. I immediately need to go watch it in Japanese with subtitles.

Anyways, here are some of my thoughts! My memory is terrible though so they’ll probably be a little out of order and I’ll probably miss a bit. That’s fine though, it’s not plot analysis.

Spoilers below the cut!

The intro sequence was pretty cool actually

Heehee screen time for Sero! And Ojiro gets to talk and show off that he can actually do stuff! Underrated character appreciation time🥰

Immediate Star Wars reference, I see…

Drinking tea with a picture of a pretty girl. OH WAIT HE WAS MAKING TEA FOR THE PICTURE BECAUSE THATS WHAT HE USED TO DO FOR HER AND NOT JUST BECAUSE HES FANCY I GET IT NOW

Iida using Bakugou’s entire hero name only for people to immediately shit on it for being so long is hilarious and everyone should do it more

This man is #notmyallmight and tbh pretty ugly? Like I didn’t think I would miss all of the deep creases and heavy shadows on All Might’s face but he looks weird without them.

The goth woman in the spider web dress is kinda pretty actually I vibe with it

Ooooo pretty lights! I don’t feel so good, Mr. Stark…

In the jungle, the mighty jungle, Izuku sleeps tonight…

He’s like “okay phew I’m good I’m stable like this” and immediately plummets to his doom. Like that whole sequence in the tube was so funny, and then you think it’s over but it’s snowball time! Plus Soggy Deku is adorable, he looks like a wet cat (affectionate)

“I’ve never been so insulted so politely?!”

They did my boy Kaminari SO dirty throughout this whole movie but I was especially disappointed at this part. Mineta I understand, even after they toned him down in the 6th season, he’s still a pervert. But Kaminari is so much deeper than that and has had so much character development, and they decided the perfect happy little daydream for him would be women in bikinis? No way. What little we did see of him in the movie was so shallow.

The other daydreams though? Hoo boy😮‍💨

Todoroki’s perfect daydream is him with his family, being happy. Him, scarless, playing with all of his siblings INCLUDING TOUYA while his happy parents sit together and watch them with a smile. I swear if that little scene was on screen any longer I might have teared up.

Shouji’s too, like oh my god. His is a world where he was accepted for who he is and he and the little girl are happy and he doesn’t feel like he has to hide his face behind a mask because he never got the scars in the first place😢

Idia’s being him and Tenya being heroes together. Because that was his dream. And he can’t have it anymore.

Momo you’re adorable, please never change

Deku’s being him with all of the All Might merch and a hero who believed in his dreams from the start🥲 and then OFA User 1 snapping him out of it? Vestiges for the win, again

Speaking of, I love how much they had him using all of the vestiges’ quirks throughout the movie. My boy has grown so much🥰

That whole scene though was really cool, the way it was set up like a doll house? I enjoyed that, I wish we had gotten to look at it a little longer. Looks like Hagakure’s was being visible and having all of the outfits, Uraraka’s was floating on a cloud, Jirou’s was rocking out with her guitar, and Sero’s was doing some kind of Spider-Man tape shit idk. Wish I remembered what Ojiro’s was

Dark Might using a rotary phone to make a video call and then immediately taking credit for the name Dark Might? Cringe

HAWKS OH MY GOD LOOK HES THERE TOO

Fr Hawks got a lot of screen time throughout the movie, most of which was really not necessary or particularly relevant (not that I’m complaining😜)

Are those off-brand Nomus in suits?

“I’m a walking cheat code” is such a killer line damn

Dark Might is so delulu oh my god.

Other stuff happens, I don’t remember having any super intense thoughts so I’ll jump ahead for now and come back to this if I feel like it later

Mirio! I’m glad they included him the guy is underutilized

More of the pros! Especially MIRKO and the combination of Edgeshot and Best Jeanist

I’m glad they’re giving Uraraka so much attention, she was kinda brushed over in the other movies if I recall correctly. Iida too, though not as much

Bakugou the strategist!

Tokoyami getting his moment in the proverbial spotlight. Not the literal one, that wouldn’t be helpful. “Those who can fly, should fly,” indeed

Bakugou and Todoroki out there working together with surprisingly little bickering. I’m impressed.

HAWKS. Descending from above like the stunning angel he is! I’m such a sucker for his dynamic with Tokoyami, the mentorship and genuine care there between them? The fact that he’s encouraging and pushing his bird protege to be better? Love love love

I know Julio just explained it but I still don’t really get Dark Might’s quirk. If someone could explain it to me that would be great thanks

Even Dark Might sees how much potential Midoriya has wow

Literally just naming states at this point. Detroit Smash who?

Big Three coming in hot! Kick some villainous ass! Speaking of, it seems that Bones Studio had indeed decided to return All Might (Dark Might technically)’s ass to him.

Thrown into a statue of himself and he popped like a balloon lol

Forgot that the city was empty and started freaking out when the ship was crashing. I thought people were getting squished🥲

Yes Julio! Go be with the one you love!

Shoutout to Mitsuki and Inko being best friends

A bit of a predictable ending but satisfying nonetheless!

Maybe a little bit unclear when in canon this takes place? Largely when you consider the little moment after the credits

The movie was intense but also had a lot of. Moments of comic relief which I really appreciated! It was super well balanced

I had a million and one thoughts but it’s the middle of the night and I don’t really remember what they were. Anyways, it was a very strong movie imo, 10/10 because I had a good time

[possumteefys]

When I was a child I was viscerally afraid of

The Foot Book.

I used to like to stay up as late as I could when I was a very small child, like, until I could hear my dad get up and get ready for work in the morning. Then I'd go to sleep and be woken up a few hours later for school.

So, when I was little (millennial checking in) I didn't have a TV in my room (never was allowed until I'd moved out tbh) I'd have to keep myself entertained while I stayed awake all night. I did have a gameboy advanced, but it was the version that didn’t have a back-lit screen, and my mom would take it from me before bedtime, anyway.

I did have, however, a ton of coloring/activity books (haunted house or revolutionary War themed [no fucking clue] and a pretty good selection of tiny hard-back kid's fiction. Little Golden Books, "novelizations" of movies like The Land Before Time, and a buttfuck of Dr Seuss books.

I also just remembered that on the back of my Land Before Time book, there was a tiny silhouette logo of E.T. (the extraterrestrial) flying across the moon in the basket of Eliott's bike. I remember looking at that and having an extremely vivid nightmare about E.T., and I've hated the little fucker ever since.

So, anyway, The Foot Book.

I'd heard/read it probably fifty times. And one night, my little seven year old brain, stressed from a day of school, being expected to parent my younger brothers, and manage my father's emotions while my mother pleaded me to stay nice and not be mean or angry because I'm older and should know better--running off of a self-inflicted 3 or 4 hour sleep a night, looked upon

The Pages

and for this night, and for years after, I was filled with The Horror.

HIM.

If you've never had the displeasure to read this particular Seuss, this gremlin is the one teaching you all about feet. What kind of feet there are. How they GO. He's in nearly every page, not to mention

The front and back. He's everywhere.

SWARMING.

Up feet? Down feet?

HERE COMES CLOWN FEET

Here comes more and more andm oreandmo reandmoreandmoreandmOREANDMOREANDMOREFEET

I. Hated. This.

I went to bed "early" after that, not bothering to wait until my dad left for work. I turned off my lamp and tried my best to calm down in the dark, the sheer horror I felt not making sense--it was the feet, the feet I was afraid of--the weird creepy feet the illustrator decided to give the gremlins, and all Dr Seuss gremlins of that species. I was exceptionally afraid of having a nightmare about the weird furry pointy brown feet, and I was so SURE that I would. Eventually I fell asleep, and, of course, had worked myself up into a hazy frightening dream where disembodied gremlin feet marched into my room, up my walls, perched on my ceiling. And oh wait, here comes FUCKING CLOWN FEET.

I absolutely could not keep this book in my room.

See, with the Land Before Time book, the fear-inducing E.T. was tiny and on the bottom of the back cover. Easy to avoid seeing, though a very vivid inner eye made that a moot point if E.T. ever wondered into my thoughts, a lá "oh I'm so glad I'm not scaring myself rn by thinking about E.T."

The Foot Book though? This might surprise you, but it's largely about feet. That shitty little gremlin's feet in particular. The feet of my nightmares. Even glancing at the front of the book was enough to send me into a mild panic.

I'd hide it in my room, under my bed or rug, and then someone, my mom or a little brother, would find it and I'd be all "ohhhh haha awsome...." Obviously, I couldn't tell anyone my irrational fear. My dad already thought it was hysterical to jump out and scare me, or freak me out by pretending he got grabbed or whatever if I was saying I was afraid there was something in my closet/outside my window.

I couldn't even get the dog to chew on it like she chewed on my illustrated dinosaur encyclopedia. I had it in the 90's, and it was super outdated, and I wish I still had it because I love outdated paleo art like any decent person.

So I buried it in the yard one day. And I dragged/shoved/wobbled a landscaping rock over top of it.

And I was crying the ENTIRE TIME.

It never came up and it took years for my fear to subside. I was even a lil nervous about looking up the pages to the book for this post.

It still disturbs me but I think its,,,,,Dr Seuss art is kinda creepy. Like in a whimsical way. My brother was afraid of the pants story...you know, the one where the pants follow the guy?

Why do they DO THAT?

Anyway. I still fucking do not like E.T.

[pinkanimegirlliker]

Had a dream about meeting Jason Schwartzman and Wes Anderson last night.

Okay. I’m kind of lying. They weren’t at all like how they are irl. (Wes looked and acted more like John Waters tbh. Think my brain needed a famous director to fill in, since I don’t have much of a full mental image of Anderson yet. Jason Schwartzman was kinda more accurate, though but still. off a little bit.)

But you know how in dreams you just Know things. Like, I knew in my head that I was talking to them, even though they didn’t look or act at all like how they do irl.

Anyway.

I was just kinda listening to them talk about stuff, adding in my own little thing now and then, but it was nice to just sit and listen. Then they both started crying (I think maybe the conversation got too… existential?? I can’t really recall the chain of event that led to this.)

I started crying too, because I thought it was so beautiful that they weren’t worried about what other people may think about them crying. I said this to them. (I cry a lot more in dreams than I do irl, big Ghibli-feeling tears, too).

We all calmed down a bit.

Jason Schwartzman gave me a very uplifting talking-to. I don’t remember most of what he said, but I remember feeling more confident and determined after it. I believe he said a sentence along the lines of “Go ahead in life, and act like you’ve passed everything.” (In reference to exams I believe?)

Which is funny because I used to tell myself the exact same thing when I was waiting for my a-level results. Just act like you’ve passed them already.

Stop worrying, I think is the message.

I woke up shortly after his speech.

It feels so bittersweet. I wish I could meet these weird dream versions of them again, because we had such a good time, even though it’s a fake scenario made up by my subconscious.

Thanks brain!

[rendellstreet]

i think there's not enough mlm eugene content because almost all eugene fans are new dream fans and they're very vocally anti cassunzel etc. i don't want to accuse anyone because i don't think they think this intentionally but sometimes it feels like eugene's (and rapunzel's tbh) bisexuality is just a quirky fandom trait

there's so many mlm varian content because he has that white twink energy 😪 i don't want to say that he's not an interesting character beyond that, as much as i hate fanon varian i think he's one of the most complex characters the show introduced. but like you know fandoms latch onto that archetype :/

but i always thought it was weird that none of the usual mlm fan crowd got into eugene/lance. they have so much chemistry and moments?? they literally get high and sing how much they love each other?? go on dates?? adopt children?? dance together?? childhood friends to lovers?? people open ur eyes!! wake up

Yeah that's a good way to describe it and it's kind of 🙃 you can meme about Rapunzel having two hands and everyone laughs until you're actually serious about it. Maybe because I'm older and not really invested into shipping like others but I wish more folks accept that Cassunzel / ND can like, co-exist, like Cassunzel isn't taking away the fact that ND is still the official couple, it's just alternate relationship to explore and stuff.

Varian also has the benefit of Hugo from that proposed sequel comic, so multiply that white twink energy by 2. From my outside observation, they kind of eclipsed the whole concept of V&7K itself? I can't remember the last time I've seen Nuru or that older woman with the scar (?) on her face? Dontella? Was that her name?

My beef with a particular batch of fanon Varian where he's just a perpetually angsty character who 1) either gets put through the wringer for the sake of... being put through the wringer 2) every other character gets vilified, especially Frederic / Quirin / Rapunzel / Cassandra 3) it's like what happened in "Queen For a Day" never ended so Varian's just stuck in this characterization despite the fact that he got so much better like wouldn't you want to see your fave get emotionally / physically better? 💀

I'm not going to even sugar coat it Eugene/Lance would be a very popular ship but the problem is the fact that Lance is a black character and fandom (not just tts in general) for the most part won't interact with a black character unless they really have to

Also I distinctly remember a kind of spillover effect of the whole "Cassunzel is incest" happing with Eugene and Lance too. I think that also happened with The Brotherhood too to a lesser extent, because Hector refer to Adira as "sister" at one point therefore they're actually siblings? 😶

[kisilinramblings]

Hi. I hope you don't mind me asking a question here. First thing first I haven't watched much of s5, mainly because I'm still having burn out from the whole episodes in s4. But I have seen people posting pictures of Adrien using cataclysm very... Murder happy, which is something that I don't think he ever do before, unless I forgot any episode.

Before, whenever he's frustrated his object on leashing out is never an Akumatized person, it's always be an inanimate object (tree/ads box, chimney and billboard) but in this season, he seems to be losing his patient more and more, the scene in Jubilation is the freshest I can remember how close he was in cataclysmed Dark Owl and apparently he almost did that too in Derision.

My question is, is there a reason behind this behavior? I mean, it feels like out of character of him to do that considering Adrien is always patient and empatetic kind of person that I'm sure if people just telling me without showing the clip of the episodes, I would think theyre joking. Its always sad to see such kind and sweet character to turn like this.

I'm sorry if I'm rambling too much!

Hey! No worries! I'm sure you are not the only one finding this weird. You are right in saying than before S5, it wasn't like Chat to willingly use Cataclysm on an individual. Aside of Sentis or him being controlled by an akumatized power, or as seen during Chat Blanc, the NY special, Destruction which fall under that category of being accidental.

So what indeed did change or happened to him to the point he can be triggered and having his emotions taking over the best of him?

Tbh, I myself even is sure if I have the correct theory there.

The common element in both Jubilation and Derision is Chat Noir violently reacting when someone plays with the emotions of a person he deeply cares about.

After all, Darker Owl played with both LB and CN's emotions with the power of the Pig and trapping them in a dream fantasy where they were in love, married and had a family while Kim played with Marinette's emotions to the point the impact of that cruel prank have deeply traumatized her.

The dialog at the end of Derision between Marinette and Adrien seems to indicate Marinette isn't the only one with trauma that needs to be healed.

Adrien : I'm scared too. It's new for me, so I don't know how to react. I'm scared of doing something wrong, of hurting you, of someone else hurting you. I'm especially scared of losing you. But we are together and we will do everything to help each other out. Like that, you and me, maybe we will become less scared?

Part of his line refers to what Ladybug told him earlier.

CN : Me too, I got carried away by my emotions. LB : Don't worry. It can happen to anyone. That's why we are a team. There is always one of us to help the other out.

And even though he didn't use Cataclysm, Mister Bug's reaction at the end of Passion was too filled with rage.

Mister Bug : Forcing such a fragile person to carry out his twisted plans. Monarch is a monster! He'll pay for this...

Not only that, but Adrien was tempted to use the Wish to heal Nathalie. Something associated to the Bad Guy side.

So, yeah, that is my best guess right now. Adrien has trauma too, but we have yet to see what exactly caused it but we can suppose it is most probably in link to his mother's demise.

So, Adrien can be violent in reaction when seeing the people he deeply cares are being hurt.

EDIT : I've forgot! Chat Noir did almost Cataclysm Hawkmoth during Chat Blanc timeline after learning the truth but stopped, wanting answers.

[i-write-shakespeare-not-disney]

So sorry if this is a lot. I was looking at all the questions and was like "there's too many to choose from, whyyyyy?!" (Feel free to skip any you don't want to answer)

what’s a common writing tip that you almost always follow?

what was the first commercial property (book/movie/tv show/etc) that you realized was actually professional fanfiction?

what is the last thing that a fic made you google when you were reading it?

what is the last thing that a fic made you google when you were writing it?

how do you balance writing and life?

what’s the weirdest reason you’ve ever shipped something?

how do you write emotional scenes? do you ever feel what the characters feel?

do you try to put themes, motifs, messages, morals, etc in your writing? if so, how do you go about it?

how do you visualize scenes? do you see it like a movie in your head, or do the words just flow?

what is one essential thing to remember when writing a villain? 

said: overused or underused.

what would be on a moodboard for your current wip(s)?

if you could have another author write your wip for you (bc we all dream of this occasionally), who would it be?

sarcastic narrators: entertaining or overdone?

do you notice your own voice in your writing style?

how has your writing style changed over the years?

do you hear other people’s writing styles when they talk?

do you describe a character’s appearance all right away or in pieces?

Sorry I'm just now getting to this!

I hope you don't mind, I'll put it under a read more:

A writing tip I always follow... oof I've gotten so many aha. I think the one I still remind myself to follow is to trust my subconscious and not be so stuck to a story idea that I avoid a better one just because I don't want to change the course from the original idea. It helps with writers block too!

I wish I could say PJO or even Magic Treehouse, but tbh the first time I found out a fanfiction could be "professionally published" was with 50 shades of grey u.u

I think the last thing I googled was the definition of a word but... I can't recall the word lmfao

The last thing I googled while writing.... I think was pilot flight schedules for Rody!

I don't balance. I can't. I freeball. Sometimes I don't write for weeks, sometimes I'm writing during my 15 min breaks at work and while waiting in the car at my siblings' bus stops. Sometimes I'm staying up till 3am on a work night because I just HAVE to finish a scene/fic, sometimes I go to bed early and wake up super early because the next plot point came to me mid-dream lmfao

bahahah uhhhhh because of online shippers i think. Like, that's why I started jjk and then I ended up... not shipping the couple I went into it for? lmfao Idk if that really counts as weird though. I'm not sure what my weirdest is....

I act out the emotional scenes! I get into their heads and think like them and imagine the conversations and what would make them yell and cry and what could be said to them to further the emotion or stifle it etc. and I've noticed while writing that I'll make the facial expressions lmfao

I do!! sometimes it's unintentional, but sometimes it's very much planned out from the start. Like in These Violent Delights, I had Dabi and Hawks go through the stages of grief in opposition to each other. So Dabi started out with the normal procession of the phases (Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance) while Hawks experienced them in reverse (Acceptance, Depression, Bargaining, Anger, Denial), which is why the third chapter is longest with both POVs, because they're the most in tandem at that point. They're both in bargaining, they're both kind of in the same vulnerable but wary state. That I planned from the very beginning and I wrote it all out in bullet points. It's probably the most organized fic, and even then, I had to re-vamp the whole last two chapters lmfao

I think I do very much imagine it as a movie which helps with blocking and tone and then the "script" of course. If it's a very emotional scene, it's easier to let the words flow.

Hmmmmmm. It depends on the villain I think. I like the idea of ruthless villains, but I do always like having a backstory. Not necessarily to excuse why they're villains, but just to have a grasp on their character as a whole, how they make decision, if they're more about intellectual manipulation like Ozai or more about power dynamics like Shig in the Enchanted AU or if it's more a general concept like invasion of privacy in the rodydeku one shot. Depending on the type of villain I'm going for, I focus on different aspects, but I like having a base backstory for them.

"said" is just something people shouldn't be afraid of. It's distracting if you use a bunch of different speech tags, and it's distracting if you use "said" 10 times in a row. Sometimes a person does just say something, sometimes you don't need to specify who said because it's obvious, sometimes an adverb to go with "said" makes all the difference.

Right now, the WIP i'm on is part 2 of the rodydeku one where they meet again after a long time so the moodboard I think would have time stamps and edgy sad tumblr posts and hands reaching for each other just shy of touching and something you can't really tell if it's a sunrise or a sunset. One of my best friends makes moodboards, maybe I'll ask her for one klasdjakldf

Ohhhhhh shit ahahaha I genuinely don't know.... I'm so particular about how I want things done for a story that's mine that idk if I could relinquish my idea to an author I like kadsjfa

Hm. I usually like sarcastic characters! It definitely depends on if they're being cynical and sarcastic or just have a penchant for sarcastic humor though. I don't really like smart-alack cynical sarcasm.

I think I do notice my own voice, especially with turns of phrases, but a lot of people tell me I'm good at differentiating the voices of different characters who narrate, so maybe it's not as glaringly obvious as I think?

I'd like to think my sentence structure has gotten more polished, albeit a bit more verbose.... I know my strength is in emotions, so I've leaned into those descriptions a lot more. I have noticed I have a tendency of using runons or just very long sentences that are grammatically correct, they just have a bunch of commas. I didn't do that as much before, but I'm working on breaking it up lmfao. I do read older things and cringe, so at least I'm certain I've improved over the last decade

I actually dont!!!! Like, I talk to my friends all the time, but when I read their stuff, it's very different from their voices, so I can't say I can tell just by how they speak. Same in my writing classes before, their writing styles were very different from the way they talked in class.

I have a tendency... to overlook descriptions at first in fanfiction lmfao. I think that's because I used to be very annoyed seeing the same description word for word in the first page of every fanfiction. So now I sort of describe the person slowly, moreso in moments when one of them is describing or admiring something about the other. Like, I mention about halfway through the fic that Deku has a mohawk, because Deku isn't really gonna be prone to describing himself, but he's fawning over grey eyes which he describes in a variety of ways, as well as the auburn hair and smug smile as he falls more and more for Rody. I think the same goes for Teaching a heart, Sokka and Zuko describe each other in different ways than they'd describe themselves and notice different aspects about each other. Probably something to work on though, since not everything is a fanfic and I don't want the character to be a blob aksjdfka

Thank you for sending these!!!!!

[httpiastri]

Hello love!

It's been a little while, so first of all-Happy belated birthday! I saw the messages on the day and wanted to write a little something, but then I got so busy 🙈 so I wish you all the best, for all of your wishes to be fulfilled and a great year overall!

I really like the new layout, it seems so calm 🩵

I feel like my life has been so busy lately, I barely had time to catch my breath. But for now, I am incredibly happy to be here and getting to know me again in a completely different environment. My host family is so lovely and last weekend I met some nice au pairs that live really close to me, so now I am not even alone anymore haha!

Being here also means that I am kinda always out and about, so I only watched fp3 yesterday and the start of the f2 race today. It's a shame it got cancelled so soon :( but safety first of course!

I won't be able to watch the F1 race tomorrow, but I am still hoping for some Lando magic. I really want him to win the race, but I also want to be there and watch it live? But it will be Max's win anyways lol!

In the last ask you said you were planning dropping out of uni- I am sorry to hear that, even though its probably for the best if you don't like the subjects. I don't know how people react in your country with news like that, but just remember that it's most important to be happy with what you do! (Who knows? Maybe you want to do a year abroad somewhere as well?)

I will probably catch up on all the writing you uploaded in the last couple of days and go to bed then- I am exhausted 😴

-✨

love! hello!! thank you so much, i hope you get a lovely year too 💘 and thank you! my old theme was so random shssjhs i do enjoy this a bit more !!

aw it makes me so glad to hear that you are happy and that the people around you are good to you. and i love the positive mindset! it must be really challenging but you’re doing so well 🥹 and oooo you met some people!! that’s lovely !!! are they from a lot of different countries or is it all kind of similar? if you get what i mean shsksjs

yeah it must be hard to keep track of all racing when you’re so busy… i was disappointed about them cancelling f2 but i do think it was a good choice, it didn’t seem very safe. it just sucks that they can’t like postpone sessions instead of cancel them :( like i get that it’s because of the schedule on the track but it still sucks! for everyone probably

!! crossing my fingers for lando tomorrow !!!! hoping for maybe a little rain (but not so much that it’s dangerous) for tomorrow’s f2 feature so arthur can get some easy climbing…. pls he deserves some points 🙏🙏🙏

hmm well in my country i guess it’s kinda like… not super weird to not go to uni? or at least it’s common to take a few years off to work and stuff after high school. the good thing about sweden is that school doesn’t cost anything so i have no debts and won’t lose any money for dropping out, which i guess is a big problem for people dropping out in other countries. we even get paid to go to school here, and tbh i was gonna use that money to pay for rent but that’s not happening now…. so well 🫠 but yes thank you, i will try to remember that!! <3

to be honest, i’ve thought a lot about moving to another major city or even going abroad, because recently i feel like this place isn’t for me in some way. i applied (and got accepted) to a school in the second biggest city, but i have too many responsibilities here this year that i just can’t escape from so it just wouldn’t work out 🥲 but i really do think that moving abroad is going to be the goal for me for the future! idk how but im gonna try to make it happen lmao!! i shall take inspiration from your braveness 🥰🤭

awh, i hope you get some good sleep and dream sweet dreams of our boys!! 😚😚😚

[princesable]

wwait please do tell ur issues with omori if u feel like it. as a somewhat omori enjoyer (<omocat sucks) i wanna see others' opinions as well

ok on my puter here u go. im not gonna write out like. an essay im just gonna list things out in bullet points because thats easier for me so sorry if this is hard to read/understand. quick side note i've played this game around 3 times because i love showing it to people so they can get mad about it with me. i feel like this is important because ive like. actually played the game and not pulling all of this out of a cut down letsplay (also just so no one gets mad at me i pirated it) but also my memory is awful. i am planning to play it again and actively take notes so i can write something more coherent. also putting it under a read more because i didnt realize how much i had to say about this

the story sucks tbh. like its an interesting concept that could have been done in an extremely impactful way but i felt nothing. like i didnt care about mari and i didnt care about sunny because he had like. no personality outside of "silent main character everyone likes". like if you dont care about mari the whole story falls apart. it relies very heavily on you caring about the two of them which is FINE but they do a really bad job of making me actually give a shit.

hero got like fucking nothing in the story and that bothers me like. outside of sunny we should have seen how mari's death impacted him the most because. you know. THEY WERE DATING? but we never get to spend time with hero. like all he is is "the nice one" i wish we got to see. anything with him but i swear they just weren't allowed to have him express emotions that werent extremely mild or something. actually now that i think about it it feels like hero was an after thought in like. everything. his dream word ability is barely used and when it is it feels like anyone could have done it. have it literally just be that he can flip switches is stupid. you could remove hero from the game and it would impact nothing.

AUBREYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY the church confrontation scene was like. GENUINELY GOOD? and then after that they just forget to do anything with her. like it pisses me off how that scene was actually good and the only part that genuinely got me to feel anything and then she just gets nothing. like her "bully" scenes are pretty good and i genuinely sympathized with her but it kind of felt like. you werent supposed to? idk if that makes sense because you totally WERE supposed to feel bad for aubrey but having the kel high fives directly after multiple scene where you make her cry felt so. fucking weird. maybe that was the point idk. aubrey's my favorite character i wish omocat knew how to write

SPEAKING OF KEL. I REALLY REALLY DONT LIKE HOW THE GAME TREATS HIM. he's supposed to be the comic relief but like. EVERY joke is either "kel is gross/stupid" or "aubrey is mean to him for no fucking reason" and it gets old really fast because he's just a kid??? like him and aubrey are just mean to each other thats their whole thing which is FINE i GUESS but its not funny?? its just incredibly mean spirited and not fair to him as a character. why couldnt he have just been silly without the game seemingly hating him for trying to have fun. like most of his moveset is based around being annoying its. its weird man idk. also the fact this is a fucking item in the game

when i got this for the first time i put my head in my fucking hands man this sucks.

Basil. basil could have been an EXTREMELY interesting character but hes just so. whiny. it gets old really fast. the final fight with him was pretty good i guess. i dont have much to say about him sadly because i just like. dont remember. nothing with him stuck with me. OH WAIT the black space bit where you repeatedly kill him in extremely gruesome ways was. kind of fucking weird. because hes 10. it was unnecessary like if you REALLY wanted the fact that sunny is trying so hard to repress anything that reminds him of what he did to be represented through basil dying you could have just done it a couple times idk. weird scene.

ok moving on from characters the art is. a lot. its very hard to tell the dream world party members apart because omocat just has really bad same fact syndrome, it doesnt help that they all have the same color palettes. speaking of color palettes why do the overworld sprites white wash kel and hero. its less noticeable with hero but like. come on man its not hard to color pick your own art

still on the art the fact everything moves is fun in concept but REALLY distracting in execution. theres been multiple fights (specifically sweetheart, the king crawler and humphrey) where i've gotten awful headaches and had to take a break because i felt sick from all the movement lol. also the animation for releasing energy does NOT help who thought making the screen shake that much was a good idea dear god. like seriously this game needs to have some kind of warning

using sweetheart as an excuse to talk about how the dream world its such a fucking slog. i UNDERSTAND the point is that sunny is doing everything in his power to not reach the truth so he creates roadblocks but oh my goddddddd its so annoying to constantly have the plot take a backseat so we can go to a wedding or go to a casino or GO IN THAT STUPID FUCKING WHALE. the fact that there is a fucking mod that removes the humphrey segment should say enough. like that part in particular was soooooo fucking bad. its so boring. the humphrey fight has THREE FUCKING PHASES. I DONT KNOW WHO THOUGHT THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA BUT THEY SHOULD BE KILLED. ITS AN AWFUL EXPERIENCE

the emotion system is an interesting idea but i wish they did more with it. once you figure out that everyone has one theyre best with you stop playing with them. it stopped being fun to battle because its just make aubrey angry -> make sunny sad -> make kel happy -> have hero do fucking nothing -> hit them. idk maybe they could have had like. special emotions for boss fights?? im not sure how that'd work but i wish they added little twists every now and then to keep all the battles from feeling the same.

the real world isnt much better honestly. all the aubrey shit made me angry and the battles are so weirdly unfair its just not fun. like it doesnt penalize you for losing real world battles but its like. idk they suck. also the fact it doesnt tell you food doesnt heal you in the real world fucked me up when i first played because i was so used to the dream world i spent all my money on soda and then spent the entirety of the real world on like 1 hp i cant add spoilers on tumblr so animal harm/death and suicide warning for this next part. if you dont want to read that theres nothing else after it so youre good to just stop reading now

i dont like the black space. like i briefly went over it in the basil segment but it left such a bad taste in my mouth. especially the part where you are seemingly "forced" to cut your fucking cat open as it begs you to free it and the only way to not hurt it is to kill yourself?? ok.

speaking of which the fact the only way to leave the dream world and wake up is to kill yourself complete with a little sound effect is weird to me. idk man omori is 10 im not exactly keen on watching a child kill himself several times.

honestly the games handling of suicide is gross to me. obviously i dont think you should never talk about suicide i think its a very important topic but they way its handled in omori is almost. glorified? idk if that the right word. omori/sunny can kill himself so many times in this game and i just found that a little weird. also basil can kill himself and you can see his body just. sitting there. ok im running out of writing steam if i think of anything else i'll make another post or you have any follow up questions let me know im gonna go watch scott the woz

[mattatouile]

15 QUESTIONS, 15 TAGS

Tagged by @gallabee 😘

Read more cause it's long.

Were you named after anyone? Only in the sense that there's a character in the Bible named Hannah. But no. I don't even know that that's where my parents got it from. My parents were kind of intense about their kids not sharing initials and not being named after people so we could ~have our own identities~.

When was the last time you cried? Genuinely, not sure. I cry pretty easy, so there's like...no use even making note of it. It's been a long time since I cried hard enough to have a migraine, but just tearing up or gently crying over a song/book/tv show is pretty standard. I'm soft as butter tbh.

Do you have kids? I have two stepkids that are college age. They're pretty great! Beyond that, I have no desire for more kids, especially not anyone of my own body. I love taking care of babies though and will absolutely dote on my siblings kids.

Do you use sarcasm a lot? I don't think I do? I think because a few of my siblings are definitely on the autism spectrum, my family was just really accustomed to direct communication and I expect that.

What sports do you play/have you played? Unless we're counting dance and gymnastics, not a single solitary one. I was not an athletic team sports kind of kid. I wanted to be left alone with my books.

What's the first thing you notice about someone? I'm assuming we're speaking in person, in which case height and smell. I'm really short and I'm really sensitive to heavy perfumes. (Also my wife keeps calling me a super smeller in general because I get weird if she changes her deodorant or shampoo or body wash.)

Eye color? Very dark brown.

Scary movies or happy endings? 😂😂😂 Happy endings. I tend to avoid things that don't end happily. I've also seen MAYBE five scary movies in my whole life.

Any special talents? No. I mean, I read super fast. I can do a few different needlework craft things. And I have a nearly sociopathic ability to seem competent and professional in job interviews. But I don't think any of that counts. (Oh and I can remember the absolute fuck out of names.)

Where were you born? central east Texas.

What are your hobbies? I read. A. Lot. I also cross stitch and started getting into embroidery. Sometimes my hobby is me being hyperfocused on a video game for weeks on end (aka Operation Fuck Cullen in DA Inquisition). Once in a blue moon, my hobby will be writing (I wrote almost 300k words of fic in 2019 and haven't written a word since really). I indulge in the act of viewing sporting events. Can being hyperfocused on a TV show count? I do that too. I wish any of my hobbies included exercise. But they don't.

12. Do you have any pets? I have three cats! Littermates Luther and Lagertha are 10ish years old and Pandora is 9.

13. How tall are you? 5'2"

14. Favorite subject in school? In pre-University years it was anything English or History and then in University I liked all my math classes because they were straight forward.

15. Dream job? To make what I make now as a library technician again. I loved working in the library, especially in the back, ordering books and placing them in circulation and all the other extremely tedious collection maintenance. But those guys make like ...a third of what I make now. So it's just unreasonable. Makes me sad. Otherwise, I would pick something menial like data entry. But again, can't afford to do that.

Tagging: @dollsome-does-tumblr @scoundrels-in-love @sdwolfpup @pretty-thief @justshellies @hinakyuu @teex @starrybouquet

[yourqueenb]

1. Were you named after anybody? Nope

2. When was the last time you cried? I shed a few tears like a week or so ago, but the last time I legitimately cried was probably close to a month ago

3. Do you have any kids? No, thank God. I do want kids, just not right now. I have been getting a little baby fever recently though lmao, but I think that’s just because I’m newly engaged 🎉🥰😍💕

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? I think I use it a normal amount

5. What sports do you play/have played? My parents put me in soccer when I was about 4 and I hated it. The other kids were bigger than me + aggressive. And I am not an aggressive person at all. They also put me in tennis lessons when I got a little older, which was fun. I also tried basketball in 8th grade to get out of having to do gym. But again, I am not aggressive so I wasn’t very good. Stuck it out for the whole year though! I took some tumbling classes because I wanted to try out for cheer in high school, but never got very good at it. Plus gymnastics is expensive 😭 So I ultimately ended up being on the dance team instead because I’m honestly a much better dancer and am good at remembering choreo. And yes, dance and cheer are definitely sports ��🏾

6. What’s the first thing you notice about someone? Tbh I don’t know because I don’t think I really zero in on smaller details regarding people’s physical appearance when I first meet someone. Now that I’m thinking about it, I guess I focus more on their overall demeanor/body language and also their outfits

7. Eye color? Very dark brown. Sometimes I like that and sometimes I wish they were a bit lighter tbh

8. Scary Movies or happy endings? Definitely happy endings. I don’t like scary things at all.

9. Any special talents? I used to be pretty good at nail art. I bought some new nail supplies recently and am trying to get back into it. That’s all I can think of off the top of my head rn

10. Where were you born? Georgia — The Peach State 🍑

11. What are your hobbies? Reading, playing video games/board games/all kinds of games lol, watching tv/movies, and making edits for Choices (albeit on and off, but I still do it 😅)

12. Do you have any pets? Yes and no. This is my answer because my family has a dog who I also consider to be my dog since we got her when I was in high school. However, I don’t live with my family anymore so I don’t get to see or interact with her often. I do want a pet that actually lives with me though, preferably a cat 😌

13. How tall are you? 5’2 (and 3/4 😂). I only know about the 3/4 because the doctor was very specific the last time I went

14. Favorite Subject in School? In grade school, it was Math and Spanish because I’ve always been pretty good at both. In college, it was also probably some of my math courses and Chinese. I guess my brain is wired for numbers and language lol

15. Dream Job? Is it weird that I don’t know at my big age 💀 I used to have a lot of ideas about dream jobs. They really seem to be ever changing for me. But now, I ultimately just want to do something that 1) I enjoy, 2) makes a difference on the world, and 3) that I can still make good money off of

Thank for the tag @they-callme-ami! Tagging anyone because a lot of my mutuals are gone and I’m lazy 😭

belated 15 questions lol, thank you for tagging me @sweet-potatah-pie (check out her beautiful patf fics and art, she's so good fr 🤎🤎🤎)

1. Were you named after anybody? I don't think so but I share a name with a singer who was popping the most when my parents were in their 20s

2. When was the last time you cried? Two days ago 👩🏽‍💻

3. Do you have any kids? No 😎

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Not really

5. What sports do you play / have you played? Nothing of significance, I'm not a sporty gyal

6. What’s the first thing you notice about someone? Hair

7. Eye color? Brown/black

8. Scary Movies or Happy Endings? Happy endings

9. Any special talents? Nope 🥸

10. Where were you born? London

11. What are your hobbies? Writing fics, producing songs, doing art, idk if these count as hobbies but definitley spending way too much time on social media and joblessly walking around central London 😅

12. Do you have any pets? 3 cats 🐱

13. How tall are you? 5"7 or 5"8

14. Favorite subject in school? Socio-Cultural Anthropology 🤎

15. Dream job? Screen actor 🥸

if anyone's up for it: @thisismisogynoir @jacuzziwaters @topaz-carbuncle @immabethehero @tempestuousgish @zuuz-dot-chr-exe

@eveningstar1516 @blackenedrosary @chilewithcarnage @itscosmicnerd

[monstrouslyobsessed]

This is kind of intimate (which is why I'm on anon and will also spare you the details) but I once had a dream (nightmare?) Where I lived in an apartment that was haunted by this slender, thin entity. It never tried to hurt me, it just observed me daily. One day (?? Maybe?? It's a dream so time is weird) as I leave my apartment for work, the entity stops me at the door and asks "Would you love me if I was beautiful?" To which I laugh and say "Sure, maybe". Cut to some time later I'm with this cute guy or maybe it's a girl that I had been flirting for a while (Their appearance kept changing between feminine and masculine, I'm a bi mess) but I very clearly remember that after kissing me passionately, they looked down at me with eyes a little too dark and wide and a smile that was a little too stretched on the corners and asked me "Do you love now". That's when I woke up and almost cried because it was one of the most realistic and creepy dreams I've ever had. (Sorry for rambling) —anonymous

—tw / tags: implied stalking, implied foreplay, general yandere themes, semi sfw (due to implied foreplay), gn reader —featured character(s): unknown monster / shapeshifter

Creak. You stopped.

You stared at the doorframe. There were nobody standing there, this you knew of, but you could feel eyes on you. You tilted your head just a slightest and…you nearly jumped out of your socks, when something seemingly materialized from just the right angle. “Ah.” You said, as if it was a practiced script, “It’s you again.” You laughed, with a sheepish smile, “Sorry—you scared me.”

Familiar, as if you knew it as an old friend. An neighbor, really. Or, maybe it’d be better to call it as your roommate. It was shy, but it did little to hide itself from you and never once tried to harm you, that you lived with it without a second thought. Sometime you two talks, sometime…not at all. (It really like staring at you though.)

It was…oddly nondescript, its face nonexistent save for a gentle smile. Or, maybe your eyes couldn’t make anything out? There were an odd blur masking its face, concealing facial features from you. Its’ body was blacked out, rather than blurred, but you could tell it was thin. Very thin, willowy and tall, so tall that it was ducking under the top frame of the entryway. “Would you love me if I was beautiful?” It asked, its’ tone oddly soft yet…desperate?

Taken back, you blinked. This, was new. But, you snorted with that fond smile, “Maybe.” There was a slight urge in you to add, that it was perfect just the way it was. You said it as a joke though.

That was the end of it, when it vanished in a blink. You shrugged, thought nothing of its’ strange question, and moved forward through the door. 

It’d been a few days since you last saw your eldritch-like roommate. You hit up a T*nder match and a hot flirting led to you landing on your bed. Pulling your shirt over your head, your face flushed and smeared with lipsticked kisses, you panted at slender hands sliding down your skin, “Ohh…”

More kisses and teeth down yours. Eyes to eyes. 

But, something led you to a pause. A sudden sense of fear stiffened your spine when you realized just how smooth her skin were. Her eyes… “Hmpf?!” You were shoved down on the mattress and your new…friend saddled over your waist, with a skewed smile on her perfectly uncanny valley face. How did you not notice?

“You thought I was beautiful,” her husky voice reminded you of your recent skew of compliments, “so do you love me now?”

omg i love your mind… . hope you don’t mind that i whipped a piece inspired by you? and, feel free to ramble away!! i so love reading people’s rambles honestly!! i wish more people would ramble in my inbox tbh lol

—share your headcanon! (due to my recent absences, i’ll be closing this wednesday so i can focus on my commission)

[joonapeach]

skylines (nj)

college!au, where namjoon openly chases you and you love running from those advances. that is, until everyone in your architecture department finds out you’re the daughter of the man behind the biggest architecture firm in the country. 

alternatively... namjoon is a simp for you until he’s suddenly not 

author’s note: sometimes i just wanna write for the fun of it and not take life so seriously so this is what i churned out. 8.8k words of some minor pining and mini character development for our oc because tbh, being a student sucks and you get so caught up in your insecurity sometimes

also reposted on ao3

[this is fluff and light-hearted, with a bit of a rivalry trope, 8.8k words]

You love skylines.

From when you were six years old with short legs, you remember craning your neck up high to see each building that surrounded you. At that age, the world seemed big and you seemed small but you loved it. You loved seeing the world build and function around you. 

From then on outwards began your decades-long relationship with your first love - buildings. 

Well, you called it buildings and your father called it architecture. You were the daughter of his dreams, his proclaimed legacy. What luck I have, he would say, that I have a daughter who will grow up to work beside me.

Growing up, those comments were your food for the day. You would eat up his encouragements and cheers throughout high school, serving him back your high grades on a gold platter.

This is the way you’ve worked through your past nineteen years. It’s a little basic, maybe, but you’ve operated on your father’s ambition for you. 

But like all good things, even that seemed to come to an end. Since entering university and embarking on your path as an architecture major, the once comforting encouragement has slowly changed to a choking chain around you.

You’ve learnt a lot in two semesters at university. You’ve learnt how to finish assignments the night before, how to memorize historical names and dates minutes before an exam, you’ve learnt how fun it can be to be with your friends.

But most of all, you’ve learnt that… you’re not special. 

You’re surrounded by overachievers, all like you, all perhaps better than you in some way. You’re the daughter of the man behind HN Architects, but some of your classmates look like they’re on their way to the top of the chain.

You always thought you deserved your seat, your privilege, because you’d worked for it. These days, it doesn’t seem much like that. And you worry that your father is thinking the very same thing.

Let’s finish this assignment, you sigh, there’s not much left. Let’s do it, you give yourself a pep talk, fighting back a yawn at the practically empty library before dawn.

Books crash down on your table, right beside you. You shake, being pulled so abruptly out of your reverie. Although maybe you should be thankful, for the sleep that was threatening your productivity seems to have run away from the sound. 

“Excuse me,” you scoff loudly, making your presence known to the disturbance.

From above the tower of books on the desk, peeks out a familiar dimpled smile. His eyes glint with mischief and despite the early hours of the day, his face reads no exhaustion.

“You’re excused.” 

You groan. “There’s an entire empty library, you can only sit here?”

“Studying is more fun with company,” he retorts with a grin.

“It’s studying. It’s not meant to be fun,” you reply, hostile. “Didn’t I tell you to stop showing up in front of me with no purpose?’

He smiles again, confidently with his eyes unmoving from you. It’s almost unnerving, how much you see Namjoon smile in front of you. Architecture students are not meant to be this happy. They aren’t meant to carry a warm smile everywhere they go, looking at people with such attentive intensity.

“I haven’t shown up without a purpose though,” he says. “I came to ask for help with the assignment.” 

This time, you smile. But your smile is one of disbelief and amusement.

“Yes, that’s very believable, Namjoon,” you cock a brow. “You’re the one finishing assignments a week early and screwing up the curve for everyone but I’m sure I could help you with whatever you need.”

He grins, taking a seat next to you. “Hey, sometimes even I need help,” he replies but then pauses. “Ah, you’re right. I should’ve gone with coming to offer you help. That’s a lot more believable.”

“I don’t need your help,” you argue. “Stop showing up in front of me. And stop subtly flexing in front of me. It’s nauseating.”

He throws his head back and laughs. He looks so happy that it almost stirs a scary, fluttering feeling in your stomach. “You should be the last person to feel jealous of me, _____.”

You glare at him. “Yeah, because I’m the one who threatens your ranking?”

He shakes his head. “No, because I would help you with everything if you just asked.”

You still, for a moment. His words lull over in your head and they feel a bit weird. Your major is competitive and cut-throat, even if it doesn’t appear it. To you, Namjoon is your biggest rival, your biggest worry because you can never match up to him.

“Well, I’m not asking you for a thing. Is there really nothing you stress over?”

“No, there is. I just don’t cry over my textbook the nights before exams.”

“That was one time,” you mumble, infuriated. “And I had every right to be crying that night. It was the hardest exam that term and I have big shoes to fill. I can’t afford to be bothering people, like you,” you say with an intentional offense.

He takes none. “Big shoes? Who’s putting expectations on you?”

“Just some family. Stop being nosy,” you say swiftly. “And you didn’t even tell me. What do you stress over?”

He pauses, not giving a response for a moment. You wonder if it’s because there’s really nothing he stresses over. You wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case. While you and your friends have all cracked under the pressure of your degree, you especially with the added burden of your father… Namjoon has not once shown signs of struggle. He walks through life with that smile every day.

“Finding work,” he says after a while.

“Huh?”

He meets your eyes. “You asked me what I worry about. I worry about finding work when I graduate,” he says sincerely.

You bite back a rude laugh. “Please, Namjoon. Get real,” you roll your eyes. “You really think you can worry about that? You were the top of our class all last year.”

You don’t do a good job of hiding your envy, but it’s beyond you to care at this point. You’ve become this person now. The one who seeks everything out of their number on the paper.

“But I don’t have any connections. I come from a village, practically, as you like to call it,” he says with a chuckle. It stings you a little, he’s referring to the time you and your friends had put him down out of jealousy with those words. But he doesn’t say it like it bothers him. He says it like it’s true. 

“So?” you say, looking away from him and back on your sheet. “You don’t always need connections.”

“Not always, but a lot of the time,” he shrugs.

“Any company who takes a look at your record and speaks to you for five minutes would want you, Namjoon,” you exhale, knowing your words are 100% true. You think about your father, about HN Architects. Namjoon’s the kind of guy who your father wouldn’t think twice about hiring. He’s the epitome of someone who could fill any shoes you gave him.

You scoff bitterly. “Wait a second. Why am I comforting you right now? You’re a success story in the making,” you snap and he laughs, even though you didn’t intend it to be a joke. “You should be comforting me, you idiot. I don’t even know if I’ll have Mr. Labadee’s assignment done in time for submission!”

He puts his hands up. “Okay, okay, don’t worry. Why do you think I’m here?” he looks away, still smiling as he takes the pencil from your hand and moves closer to the sheet.

“What?” you say, watching the way his eyebrows furrow and his eyes scan the paper. He’s losing himself in the sheet now, and it feels like watching a prodigy at work. You picture this is what it would feel like to watch Bill Gates code on a computer before he formally started his career or watching The Beatles pen a song before they made it big. 

“Hm?”

“Did you come here for me?” you ask and for a split second, you see his eyes shift. “Did Chae tell you I was here?”

He doesn’t respond, instead focusing on the assignment. “Your calculation is wrong here. Look,” he says, pointing at a section. As he explains your mistake, you smile satisfied. 

He doesn’t need to admit it. You two have gone through this very situation so many times now, that you both know it’s true. Namjoon always comes for you.

/

You have kept your background, your family, extremely private since joining university.

In high school, you made the mistake of letting people know that you were the daughter of HN Architects. It resulted in years of people smooching up to you, gossiping behind your back, mean assumptions, and just a general nightmare.

That nightmare would only multiply if your friends here found out about it. They were all architect majors, all in the same cut-throat degree, and you came from privilege. 

It scared you, knowing what could happen if they ever found out. You begged your family to make sure that nothing would tie you to them here, keeping your name different on the registrar, not publishing photos of you in the paper. You couldn’t risk all the friends and relationships you made. Even if they said things won’t change, you know they would. They always do.

“I need to sleep for 10 years,” you mumble, falling on your bed. 

“Fuck this, I wish I was you right now,” Chae cries from her side of the room. “I’ve got one more submission.”

“I woke up at 4 to finish it so you should be fine,” you laugh, looking at her. “And did you send Namjoon to me?”

Chae fights a smile on her face. You sigh, knowing you’ve opened Pandora's box.

“He came to me asking about you last night. I told him you were sleeping, but you’d be at the library at 5 working on the assignment,” she smirks cheekily. “Why, did he come?” she asks, not hiding the overly inquisitive edge to her question.

You say nothing, deciding to turn on your laptop.

“He did!” she screams and your eyes widen, telling her to be quiet. “Sorry! I just can’t help it. That’s so sweet,” she squeals.

“Stop sending him after me. You’re encouraging him.”

“You’re encouraging him!” she counters. “You let him help you with your assignment, didn’t you?”

“Yes, but-”

“And you showed up at his dorm last week for notes, didn’t you?”

“Okay, but-”

“And you told him off for helping Eun like four days ago, remember?”

“Chae,” you stop her, sternly. “Have you lost your mind? Don’t you realize what all those things have in common?”

“They all are evidence of the fact that you reciprocate his year-long courtship?”

You roll your eyes. “No, idiot. All these things are work-related. I can’t afford to be falling behind, and I need his help.”

“Okay, but you were jealous of Eun-”

“I was annoyed that he was helping other people score higher! The last thing I need right now is the lazy kids of the class becoming my competition too,” you complain, grumbling.

Chae stares you down. “_____, not everything is about your degree,” she says light-heartedly, but you know your statement bothers her. 

Exhaling, you shut your eyes. You hate it when conversations come to this. Sometimes, you wish you could just tell people which family you came from. Maybe it would do them good, to make them realize that yes, for you, everything is about your degree. Everything in your life revolves around being successful in this path. 

You were cynical but at least you were real. You admitted things the way they were, when competition was competition, you said it, and when you needed something, you asked for it. That made it okay, you told yourself.

And when it comes to Namjoon… it’s especially okay. He’s both the only reason you’re hanging on okay in your degree, and the reason you feel insecure. You wonder how it can be that someone like him exists.

“Anyways, are you really gonna leave talking about Joon there?” Chae scoffs. “He’s liked you since we started. You really won’t do anything about it?”

“Namjoon is nothing but another classmate that stresses me out, Chae. I don’t see him that way. I just like his work ethic.”

Chae laughs. “You’re so skewed, honestly. Are you busy tomorrow?”

“Why, are you planning on ratting me out to him again?”

“No, silly,” she laughs, although you both know it’s likely she’d do it again. “Let’s go to the Autumn fair tomorrow. After I submit.”

“The fair? You mean those three stalls they set up and call it an event?”

She frowns. “Don’t be mean. Hobi and the others have really been working hard on it this year. It’ll be nicer than the last, I promise.”

“As long as there are at least 10 booths this year.”

“You’re too mean for your own good, _____,” she says, tsk-ing. “One day, you’ll see what it’s like to be on the other end.”

/

Your overactive imagination always paints a skyline for you, where there’s an empty space. You can always picture different styles of buildings, standing together, making a city. 

It’s at times like those you realize that even if you wanted to give up, even if you tried to pursue something else, your heart will always come back to this. There is nothing more that belonged to you than this.

Even if it’d become difficult now, it didn’t matter. It became a source of worry more than an outlet of passion, but it’s still your calling. You can’t give up on something you love this much.

“Your toffee apple is dripping,” you hear his voice before you see him.

You want to turn and snap at him but the sticky toffee syrup that falls onto your fingers stops you.

“Ugh,” you groan, trying to fix it. Namjoon’s hand comes out with a tissue, quickly wiping your fingers without a word. Even after he’s done, the sticky feeling remains. “I should just throw this away.”

He laughs. “Let’s get candy corn.”

“No, thanks, I have to go find Chae and Yuna.”

Even though you step away, you hear his footsteps almost immediately behind you. 

“What’s the rush?” he says, catching up beside you. When you two walk together like this, his tall figure towers over in a way that makes you feel small. “Shouldn’t you offer to buy me candy corn? Did you forget how I helped you at 5 in the morning two days ago for Professor Labadee’s class?”

“You chose to wake up at that time, not me,” you say, keeping your eyes trained ahead. You weren’t expecting much from this fair, but the students had done well. Bright fairy lights decorate the lamp posts around you and along the long path, dozens of stalls are set up. It all feels a little bit like a movie.

“As long as you got it done,” he says under his breath. You dare to take a glimpse of him and inhale sharply. He’s wearing his smile, he always is, but the fairy lights reflect on his face, illuminating him like an angel. Everything about him feels good.

You look away almost immediately. “Stop following me Namjoon,” you say, stopping at a trinkets stall and smiling at the girl behind the table.

“But I like seeing you outside of architecture things,” he grins confidently.

You opt to ignore him, asking the price of something that catches your eye.

He cranes his neck to see what it is. “Want me to get it for you?”

You quickly counter. “Absolutely not,” you say, handing over your money notes. 

“You’re really buying an ornament of buildings?” he cocks a brow. “Don’t you want something like this instead?” he picks up a small snow globe, shaking it so the snow moves. The globe is miniscule to begin with, but you notice how in his hands, it looks almost tiny.

“What can I say? I like buildings.”

He smiles. “More than people, maybe.”

You sigh, ignoring his statement. Once you get the paper bag with your purchase inside, you keep walking ahead. You count to three before you hear his footsteps mimic yours.

“I’ll buy you candy corn, then you leave me alone,” you turn to say to him. “It’s not good that you’re always showing up where I am.”

He nods like an obedient puppy. Then he frowns and asks, “why is it not good?”

When you don’t respond, focusing on walking to the candy booth, he adds, “is it not good for you? Getting attached to me now?”

You don’t have to see his face to know he’s doing his goofy smile again. “It’s not good for you to keep going through these many rejections in a lifetime.”

He laughs, your words not bothering him the slightest. Standing in front of the candy booth, Jungkook and Jae, two of your architect classmates greet you.

“Hey Joon! Aw, you two hanging out again?” Jae smiles widely as if he’s in some big secret. You roll your eyes, not saying a word but pointing to the candy corn.

“_____ is treating me to candy corn. Isn’t she sweet?”

“I’m not treating you out of kindness, I’m doing it so you feel compensated for your efforts with my assignment.” 

Jungkook and Jae share an amused look that you almost miss. Shuffling through your pocket, you start counting the money to give. As you hand over the money to Jae, Jungkook places a brown paper bag in Namjoon’s hands.

“You two enjoy yourselves,” Jungkook beams brightly.

You scoff. “Is there really such a thing as enjoyment when I have him on my tail?” 

Without bidding them a proper goodbye, you walk away from the stall, leaving the three standing. Like clockwork, Namjoon is beside you again.

“Here,” he says, and suddenly the bag of candy corn is in your hands.

You raise a brow. “What are you giving this to me for? You were the one who wanted it.”

“You were eating a sad, overpriced toffee apple. This should be for you too.”

“Namjoon.” You give him a look, but he pays no mind. 

Without saying anything more, you two walk together in silence. It didn’t intend to be this way, but it feels nice now. You feel good that you were dragged out of a cycle of the bedroom to the classroom to the library for once.

Of course, it’s weird that amidst all this, Namjoon is the one beside you. Usually, when you see him, your mind wanders to the place that curses him for being everything you wish you were. But tonight, you’re laying off those thoughts.

Staring at the crowd around the speakers, you two pause for a bit. You see Chae and Yuna, along with your other coursemates all together.

Still beside you, Namjoon speaks out of the blue. “Why don’t you call me Joon?”

“What do you mean? I didn’t realize I was required to,” you shrug at the random question. “I don’t know you like that.”

“Everyone in our class calls me Joon. Even your group member who I met that one time is calling me Joon,” he argues. “You know me better than all those people. If anything, you should be the only one.”

“What are you on about? I don’t know you at all,” you throw a blank look his way. “And don’t argue that we spend a lot of time together. You follow me around and show up where I am. That’s not spending time together.”

“We’re spending time together right now, aren’t we?” 

“It’s a first. Don’t get used to it.”

He laughs as if your cold remarks are something affectionate. “I don’t think I really could get used to seeing you outside the library, _____. You’re there more than me and I’m always studying too.”  

You scoff cynically. “Are you flexing your rank again on me?”

“_____, if I cared so much about my rank, I wouldn’t be helping you with work all the time,” he laughs, amused.

“I don’t know. Maybe helping me is all part of your plan to keep beating me,” you say. “Isn’t this just a power move? You always showing up to help me.”

He laughs again before his stare stills on you. His eyes are bright and sparkling… or is it just the effect of the stupid fairy lights? You can hardly tell.

Despite yourself, it all makes your stomach drop. You hate it when Namjoon shows up unannounced in your life, but more than that, you hate it when he gives you this kind of look. Like he can’t look anywhere else but at you.

“More than a power move, it’s just a gesture for you.”

The fluttering feeling worsens and you blink. You choose to say nothing, instead staring ahead at the view. “That is the ugliest building I’ve ever seen.”

For a second, he smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes. Eventually, he humors you. “It’s not all that bad.”

“In my professional opinion as a future architect, that is the exact type of building I would want to bulldoze.”

“Well, in my professional opinion as another future architect, I’d say your standards are far too high.”

“I’m allowed to keep my standards high. It’s me,” you smile with a glint in your eye.

He laughs, staring at you softly. “That I can agree with.”

You taunt him playfully. “You’re so predictable. Does it not get tiring hanging off my every word?”

He shakes his head loyally. “Absolutely not. I think everything you say is valuable and worth hanging off.”

“How lame,” you joke although you two share a smile. It’s true, he is a little predictable. But it’s Namjoon’s predictability that at times, catches you off guard. It’s fun, knowing that he’s two steps behind you wherever you are.

A warm feeling stirs in your body and you wonder if it’s the autumn air. Glancing up at Namjoon, the same air ruffles his hair endearingly and you tear yourself away from staring at it.

“I’m only gonna say it once so if there’s any word of mine you wanna hang off, it’s this,” you say before shoving the bag of candy corn back into his hands. “Power move or not, thanks for helping me. I really need it sometimes and I appreciate it.”

The grin on his face widens. “One more time, I didn’t hang off it enough!”

“I told you, only one time.”

“But the music was so loud, I couldn’t hear you well.”

“Too bad.”

“Come on, _____, take pity on me.”

“Shut up and eat your candy corn.”

/

You find yourself quickly back in your routine after the Autumn fair, working on new assignments and projects till your worst nightmare comes to life unexpectedly.

“Please be on time, _____!” Chae repeats to you for the fifth time that morning.

“Chae, I’ll be there. I’ll literally run from the design building to the auditorium, okay?”

She clicks her tongue at you. “Stop acting like you’re doing me a favor by showing up. You should be excited.”

“I am. But… I mean, do we really need this kind of random assembly for our architecture department?” you groan, slipping your laptop into its case. “Can’t they just give us the extra time to work on our homework?”

“But there’ll be companies there!” she retorts, wide-eyed and excited. “Just imagine. This is like those movies, where they come and scout students and then bam, life is sorted.”

You nod, forcing a smile. You remember your privilege, knowing your worry has never once been finding work but living up to the work that was set out for you. But you could never explain that here. How could you cry about the burden that kept you so troubled when it was a burden any one of your friends would happily want?

“Okay. I’ll see you there,” you settle for a wave, walking out to leave. You rush with your bag on your back to your classroom, immersed in your lesson till the hour finishes up.

For the moments after class finishes, your mind is blank. You’re going over your homework in your head, packing your things and your eyes widen. The meeting. You almost forgot.

True to your words, you actually do end up running from the design building to the auditorium. Sprinting from your class to the auditorium proves to be a harder workout than you anticipated and your heart can’t stop racing.

Stepping inside the auditorium, you jump into the first empty seat you see at the entrance.

“Where is she?” you mumble under your breath. Your eyes shift around the room, looking for a familiar head of short black hair. Catching sight of Chae, you wave to her but she doesn’t notice you at all. Instead, she’s busy talking to a group of students all from your year.

Everyone’s sat together, cozy and comfortable in a conversation together. You can even see Namjoon in the row above Chae, chatting energetically. Your heart strangely pangs.

Sometimes, seeing everyone like this, everyone from your major and year together, made you feel more like an outsider than anything. At first, you’d chalked it up to be because of your obsession with studying and academics… but students better than you, students like Namjoon and Mina, all seemed to be doing fine. 

In the end, you realized it isn’t anything to do with that. You feel like an outsider because you are one. You’ve tried your hardest to blend in, but the fact remains that you feel alone in the problems you have. You’ve kept your identity as the daughter of HN Architects a secret, you’ve kept your family pressures a secret… Now you’re alone in the burden of your struggles.

Sometimes, you’ve thought about opening up. But the thought terrifies you even more.

If you felt so alone while keeping the truth of your ambitions a secret… there’d be no telling what kind of way your friends would treat you after finding out.

“We’re lucky enough to have… here’s a representative from Canvas Corp… looking for fresh talent… Yongchan Architecture…” you’re hardly paying attention to the speakers on stage till you finally hear, “and most fortunately, the chairman of HN Architects!”

Your head shoots up so fast that it almost flies off. No fucking way.

Your father is smiling on the stage, wearing a crisp suit and greeting the architecture department heads. Without realizing it, your body cowers back into your seat as you see his eyes scan the auditorium. He must be looking for you - his daughter.

His daughter that not a single soul in this room knew was you.

Your heart goes into panic mode before you try to calm yourself down. Relax, you mutter repeatedly to yourself although it’s less effective than you thought it’d be.

Your eyes dance between your father on stage and your group of friends with Chae sitting seats away from you. Neither of them have noticed you.

Instead, your classmates are all watching your father with starstruck eyes. They’re staring at your father like he’s their idol.

Well, objectively, maybe he could be. After all, you admire your father for the very same reason every architecture student does - your father is a legend. His company has one of the best reputations in the country, which feeds your pride, and he’s nothing short of a hard-working, inspiring man.

Namjoon, in particular, is staring at your father like he can’t believe his eyes. It’s a look you’ve never seen from him before. Like he’s both nervous and thinks he’s in a dream. It’s almost endearing.

“To celebrate having the chairman of HN Architects with us today, we’ll have him say a few words!” Mr. Lim, the head of the architecture department, announces enthusiastically into the mic. He turns to your father, “do you mind?”

“Not at all!” your father grins, taking the mic before starting. “It’s my pleasure to be here today! In fact, seeing all of you reminds me of my own days as an architecture student…”

He trails off into a long speech, excitedly. You’ve been witness to every single one of your father’s inspirational speeches since the day you were born so you fight back a yawn. On the contrary, your classmates look like they’re hanging onto every single word.

As your father paces across the stage, he inches towards your side. You blink in panic, bending down but before you know it, it’s too late. His eyes sparkle with joy.

You almost worry he’s gonna wave at you mid-speech. But he doesn’t, simply shooting an overly friendly smile your way. You sneak a glance at your classmates and they’re all giving you a strange look - one that most definitely reads what the heck is he smiling at you for?

Meeting Chae’s eyes in particular, you give an awkward smile and shrug. Soon enough, your father turns to the side and you finally think you can breathe.

“That’s why I’d like to encourage you all to live up to your potential! The world is changing around you as you know it and as future architects, you can be a part of that,” your father enthusiastically continues. His eyes are on you again. “And this is what I tell my beautiful daughter everyday! She loves skylines, my dear _____, and she’s going to be a wonderful architect too!”

My life is officially over.

A little dramatic but that exact thought crosses your mind as you duck into your seat. You think you hear the collective gasp around the auditorium or maybe your ears are playing tricks on you.

No, it’s probably as bad you think it is. Your father’s called you out by name and exposed your identity that you worked so hard to conceal. Your life is quite literally over.

Oblivious to your misery, your father grins happily on stage. He returns the mic to Mr. Lim before stepping to the side. The rest of the assembly goes by without you realizing. You’re still numb to the fact of what just happened.

You risk a glance at your classmates, and in cliche movie fashion, they’re all staring at you with mouths gaping wide open. Every single one of them.

Your neck heats up and you quickly turn around. But curiosity gets the best of you a few minutes later, and you risk looking again.

They’re still staring at you in shock. Like they can’t believe their eyes.

Chae especially is looking at you with hurt flashing across her face. It squeezes at your heart and you feel overcome with guilt for lying to your friend for a year. You don’t dare to imagine what she’s thinking now.

Without realizing, your eyes travel over to Namjoon. Much to your surprise, he’s not looking at you. He’s the only one with his eyes looking ahead blankly, deep in thought.

You frown, evading everyone’s stares to focus on him. An unrecognizable emotion is written all over his face… is it realization? Regret? Embarrassment?

You can hardly tell. But for the first time, an uncomfortable feeling plunges in your stomach at the fact that Namjoon’s not looking at you.

/

“Dad!” you cry. “How could you do that?”

Your father smiles happily at the sight of you, the two of you standing outside the auditorium in a secluded, private spot. The torture, that was the assembly, has finally come to an end.

“What do you mean?” he answers in confusion. “Do you mean showing up here? Because I was invited by that Mr. Lim fellow, he-”

“Not that!” you whine, groaning into your palms. “I’m talking about saying I’m your daughter in front of the whole architecture department!”

His eyebrows shoot up. “Oh, that? What did I do wrong?”

Your jaw drops. “Dad, are you being serious?”

He nods, clear puzzlement on his face.

“Don’t you remember? I specifically asked for you and Mom to make sure that it never gets out!” you say. “Now, you’ve told everyone I go to college with that I’m the daughter of the man behind HN Architects!”

He blinks for a few seconds. “Is that so wrong?” he almost pouts like a child. “I didn’t know it was such a problem.”

“Of course, it is! Why do you think I asked you not to tell anyone?”

“...I thought you were being modest.”

“Modest?!” you exclaim, before sighing. There’s no use berating your father. It’s no one’s fault but your own for not preparing better for this situation.

“Did you really not want anyone to find out?”

You nod weakly.

“Why not?”

“I… I can’t explain it. They’ll freak out,” you look down. You can’t imagine how much worse your stress is gonna get from now on - it isn’t enough that your own title of the daughter of HN Architects is choking you to death… now you’ll have to deal with every single one of your classmates doing the same thing.

Things will never be the same again. For every grade you get, it’ll be discussed as the grade of the HN Architects’ daughter. For every drawing or idea you’ll submit, it’ll be scrutinized as the work of a girl from privilege. The pressure would multiply infinitely. 

“Oh dear, don’t be silly,” your father suddenly says, resting his hand on your head. “I’m sorry for that. I didn’t realize it was so serious to you. But even if they know, it’s not an issue. You’re an excellent student and it’s only right they pay you the respect as the future CEO of HN Architects.”

You shoot your father a smile but your stomach drops. “I guess so, thanks,” you mumble, unable to explain to him that it’s exactly what he said that terrifies you. 

For the rest of the day, you hide out off-campus in hopes to avoid facing reality.

/

“_____, I think you need to pay for the emotional shock you gave us,” Hobi laughs at the lunch table as soon as you arrive.

Hesitantly, you sit beside Chae who doesn’t share a word with you. Since yesterday, you haven’t even made eye contact with her, despite being her roommate. 

“I think I almost spat out my water when I heard my daughter,” Mina jokes and the table echoes in laughter. You smile awkwardly.

“Yeah… it’s not really a big deal,” you shrug.

“Not a big deal?! Hello! We’re talking to the next HN Architects CEO right now!” another student pipes up.

“_____, forgive me for all I did wrong last semester,” Yuri playfully adds.

“I think we need to be cleaning the floor for her to walk on!”

These statements all fly around the table, exchanged with laughs and smiles. Part of you cowers in the attention, uncomfortable by such blatant recognition of your upbringing.

Another part of you wonders… will things be okay?

You take a careful look around the table of your classmates. Not a single one seems to wear a glare, all sharing in jokes and smiles. For the strangest reason… you feel at ease.

Chae suddenly stands up, with her tray. “I’m done eating. I’ll see you guys later.”

Instantly, you mimic her and chase behind her retreating figure. “Wait Chae-”

“I have class right now-”

Like a child, you jump in front of her to block her path. “Okay, please just hear me out,” you say, pouting. “I’m sorry.”

She sighs. “What are you sorry for? It’s not a big deal.”

“You must feel… annoyed, right?”

Chae blinks at you. “I’ll admit, I was irritated at first. You come from such privilege and I’ve unloaded so much crap on you sometimes about being scared about post-college life while you never had that… but, I’m not really mad about that. You can’t help who you are, right?”

You nod. “You’re still mad at me though, aren’t you? For hiding it?”

She takes a second before replying, “I just… you’re so unreachable sometimes, _____. After I found out, I kind of realized why you’re so stressed all the time and what you meant whenever you alluded to things about your pressures and all… I’m just annoyed you never shared that part of you.”

“I’m sorry.”

For the first time since yesterday, Chae cracks a smile. “Don’t be sorry. I just want you to be more open with me. You don’t need to feel like you need to hide your background… I would’ve tried to understand either way.”

Her words soothe you more than you can explain. Since entering your major, you haven’t once relied on the people around you for support that wasn’t academic. Now, you’re realizing your fatal flaw.

“I’ll try to be better,” you say with a nod. “Thank you for not being mad at me.”

She laughs. “Anyway, you don’t need to worry about me,” she says with a glance elsewhere. “You should check up on him. He’s been spooked since yesterday.”

You turn on your heel to see Namjoon, walking around with the same strange expression on his face from the assembly. For a brief second, your eyes meet but the second flashes, and he quickly looks away.

“Did you see that?!” you scoff. “He just ignored me!”

Chae smiles. “Wow, there really is a first for everything.”

“What’s with him?” you say, watching his awkward walk in your opposite direction. He keeps glancing in your direction, but once he sees you staring at him, he swiftly looks away. It’s a completely new side to him. 

“I don’t know,” Chae shrugs. “He’s being weird. I thought he’d be running after you like always, but he’s resorted to this.”

You scoff again, unfamiliar with this Namjoon who runs away from you, rather than to you. You wonder what’s running through his mind, before pushing the thought away. He’s bound to come after you again after a few days.

/

The confidence with which you assumed Namjoon would be all over you again is faltering.

It’s been a full week since the assembly, and while life has seemingly gone back to normal for you (as normal as things can be)... Namjoon certainly has not.

In classes, he picks the furthest seat away on purpose. You even started to tease him by trying to sit in his front row with him, but instead, you found him in the back row - where he can’t even see. 

His lunches seem to be perfectly timed to not clash with yours. All of a sudden, he’s no longer in the library either. All the places you’d easily find Namjoon hovering over you, he’s disappeared from.

“Does he think this is effective?!” you rant to Chae in your dorm room. “That by suddenly ignoring me, I’ll become obsessed with him?!”

Chae smiles at you knowingly. “I don’t know… if that was his plan to begin with, I’d say it’s pretty effective-”

“Shut up, Chae! I’m just saying this is all so stupid!” you scoff. “Once or twice is fine but he’s actively avoiding me! He saw me in the library yesterday and acted like he forgot a book to leave! We were in the library for god’s sake! What book did he forget that he couldn’t find there?!”

Chae giggles like the situation is laugh-worthy. “Maybe he’s just busy.”

“He made time during final exams last year to bother me. How much busier could he be than he was then?”

“Or maybe he doesn’t want to distract you.”

“It’s not that for sure. Whenever I’d tell him that he’s distracting me before, he wouldn’t care,” you mumble under your breath annoyedly. Chae continues to grin at your behavior, as if your reaction were amusing.

You don’t say it to her but you know very well why you’re annoyed beyond relief. It’s because you know it’s to do with finding out about HN Architects.

You groan. You expected your classmates to be weird around you, maybe even your professors… but Namjoon was the last person you thought would suddenly make a 180 after learning about your family.

That’s why it’s aggravating. Because it’s the one thing you didn’t think he’d care about.

A part of you fears he’s realized just how pathetic you are. After all, Namjoon probably knows how much more promising he is compared to you and now… he had to sit with the fact that you were the daughter of HN Architects.

“Why don’t you just approach him yourself?”

You’re momentarily stunned by Chae’s suggestion. You shoot her a dirty glare.

“What?!”

“I’m not gonna chase after Namjoon! He should approach me himself!”

Chae looks at you like you’re crazy. “You’re the one who wants him to talk to you!”

“Exactly! He should come to me like he always does.”

A laugh escapes Chae’s lips. “Oh, _____… you don’t even realize it, do you?”

You cock a brow before shaking your head. “I don’t have time for your indirect dialogue. I’m just saying that if Namjoon doesn’t come to me and talk this out soon, I’m gonna have to do something very crazy.”

Chae’s eyes flicker with amusement. “Oh? And what’s that?”

You grimace, as if even saying it brings you humiliation. “I’m gonna go talk to him first.”

Chae bursts out laughing, despite your solemn expression. You brush her off, spending the rest of the night on your design homework but secretly planning on wringing Namjoon’s throat if he doesn’t go back to normal soon.

/

By now, you’re sure Namjoon can feel the daggers you’re shooting into his back.

He’s even risked turning back a few times, to see who’s glaring at him. But as soon as your eyes meet, his head spins around as if it were all in your head. He focuses on the professor teaching ahead of him, taking notes diligently.

Beside you, Chae says with a nudge, “so are you gonna do that very crazy thing you were planning?”

You ignore her for the sake of gritting your teeth. Usually, you have no trouble focusing in classes. It’s all because of this wretched situation that you’re so off-game.

As soon as the professor wraps up his powerpoint, you’re faster than anyone else in the class at packing up your things and zooming out the door. You don’t even bid Chae goodbye.

You tap your foot impatiently, staring directly at your target. 

Namjoon… try and ignore me now.

Hooking his bag over his shoulder, Namjoon comes to the door of the classroom before stopping his tracks. Aha, you smile pleased.

“Ah, I just forgot… to talk about my assignment with Mr. Choi,” he mutters out loud to no one in particular. The acting is so terrible that you don’t even have to think about it to know he’s intending it for you to hear.

You march up to him. “No, you don’t,” you scoff and when he looks up at the ceiling, you jump like an infant calling for attention. “Namjoon, if you value your life, you’re gonna drop this act right now,” you say in a menacing voice. 

Immediately, he gulps and looks down at you. His height towers over yours but you smile, knowing you’ve gained the upper hand here. He’s looking at you just as he did before - completely enamoured.

You say nothing but give a deadly gesture to follow you. He obeys without complaint.

When you two are finally in a spot you deem private enough, you raise your chin and look at him happily. Under your gaze, he looks down uncomfortably.

“So you want me to say it or will you explain what the hell is going on?”

He blinks. “I’m not sure what you’re talking about, _____.”

Your blood boils. Now, he wants to feign ignorance. “You’re joking,” you deadpan.

He looks at you innocently and shakes his head. You sigh, blinking in confusion.

This whole situation is a first. True to your words, you’ve never actually… had to do anything more than bat an eye to know Namjoon would come to you. You don’t know the words to even ask what’s wrong.

“_____,” he says in a low voice. You glance up at him, completely losing your train of thought. The sight of him has never registered you disorientated before. But now, you can’t help but trace your eyes over his dimples and sparkling eyes.

You scoff at yourself. You must’ve lost your mind temporarily. “You know what I’m talking about!”

He shakes his head so you continue, “you used to always come to the library at my timings and sit on my lunch table.”

“Oh,” he nods. “That’s because I wanted to sleep in more so I changed my schedule around a bit.”

You blink at his explanation. “You sat at the back of the class when I came to the front row-”

“I just wanted to see what it’s like to sit there. Turns out, it sucks,” he pauses when you don’t reply. “_____?”

You frown, part confused and part innocently. “I just mean… why aren’t you following me anymore?”

The words are out of your mouth before you can help it and your eyes widen in humiliation. That isn’t the way you wanted to ask the question.

Namjoon, instead, is amused. He smirks ever so slightly, before cocking his brow and asking, “Are you asking me why I don’t chase you around anymore?”

His newfound confidence almost makes you lose your footing. This is Namjoon - the nerdy guy who’d come to you. He can’t have this effect on you.

You scoff, faking an assured smile. “Are you denying that you chased me around?”

He blinks. “I mean-”

“Surely, you accept the fact that you did chase me around for a whole year,” you say with a smile playing on your lips. Of course, between the two of you, you both know very well of Namjoon’s infatuation with you. He’s danced around those feelings for both of your comedy’s sake… but this time, you won’t let that slide.

He looks at you, tongue poking in his cheek. “Fine. I do chase you around.”

You almost smile with victory but you stop yourself. Before you can speak, he continues.

“But I won’t anymore. I’m sorry. It was wrong of me,” he says sincerely, seemingly ready on his toes to walk away. Your fingers wrap around his wrist without realizing.

“Wait!” you frown displeased. He’s glancing down at where your touch meets his hand and you instantly let go. “This makes no sense.”

He blinks, confused. “What do you… isn’t this what you’ve wanted?”

“You can’t just change your mind like that!” you argue, a strange desperation cutting into your voice. “You can’t make people get used to you and do that!”

Much to your surprise, he wears a small smile. “I didn’t think it’d bother you so much.”

“I can’t stand you,” you groan. “You chase me around, then you find out one tiny fact about my family and now, you think you’re so much better than me to come after me!” you yell, your heart hammering against your chest. You sound like a child, you know as much but… suddenly around him, all logic’s been thrown out your brain.

“_____,” he says in a breath, a glint in his eye that reads surprise and amusement. His dimples are poking out and you wonder what it’d be like to affectionately poke into one. “Do you… did you like when I would come to you?”

There’s no self-preserving answer to this, one that can save both your dignity and pride. You know what you should say to his question, but nerves are prickling under your skin.

It isn’t the nerves you feel before submitting a drawing or entering an exam, but a whole new uncharted territory of nerves. Everything about this conversation is uncharted territory.

“_____, do you…” he starts a question, before nervously brushing the nape of his neck. He looks shy to even ask but after a moment, he looks at you like a child with candy and says, “do you like me?”

Your heart’s in your stomach. Immediately, you laugh, “no! No! Why would I?! Are you crazy?! Why would I ever like-”

“I don’t know,” he blinks innocently, but the stare he holds on you seems suddenly intimate. “That’s what I’m thinking. Why would you ever care about why I stopped chasing after you, if you don’t like me?”

His cocky grin annoys you. You shoot him a deathly look. “Don’t get too confident with me, Joon,” you say although you’re fumbling with words. “I still remember when you couldn’t even look me in the eye.”

He takes a step closer, holding your stare with no qualms. Your heart speeds up again, like you’ve been running.

“_____,” he says softly with a victorious smile. “You like me, don’t you?”

“I’m not answering your stupid question. First, you explain to me why the hell you think you can treat me the way you have the last week-”

“Because I thought you didn’t like me back,” he answers smoothly. “You’re the daughter of HN Architects and I’ve been wasting your time all year long. I’ve always felt intimidated by you… but now, I realized I really wasn’t worth your time.”

You blink with a frown. “Namjoon-”

“I feel really embarrassed, _____… If I ever wanted to work at HN Architects, I wouldn’t even be able to show my face knowing the way I’ve bothered you-”

“You’ve never bothered me.”

“Huh?”

Your cheeks flush and you suddenly become very aware of the words that escaped your lips. You cast a hesitant glance at Namjoon and you can’t help it. Suddenly, everything feels a lot clearer.

“You know, you’re the kind of architect my father dreams about,” you find yourself saying. “You’re the kind of student someone like me should be. It all comes natural to you. I love buildings but everything I do, it’s just part of who you are… that’s why I acted like you bothered me.”

He’s at a loss for words before muttering, “_____…”

“All I ever think about is trying to fit the ideal I know I have to be and it all comes easy for you. You feel embarrassed in front of me…” you laugh with a scoff. “How do you think I feel, needing your help?”

“I never wanted to compete with you,” he says. “I just wanted to be by your side. I really wasn’t helping you for anything apart from looking for an excuse to be near you.”

There it is… the fluttering feeling.

The truth is, you’ve known all this time too. You’ve known that there was never any ulterior motive, just your cynical mind trying to conjure excuses.

You almost hate yourself at this moment. Your insecurity over your work has warped your thoughts so much that you convinced yourself that… that you feel nothing but annoyance for Namjoon.

“_____,” he starts. His hand hesitantly reaches up, stopping multiple times on its way before finally brushing your hair away from your forehead.

“I think it goes without saying but in my eyes, you’re the smartest person in our major and every time I’m with you, I don’t even care if you reject me or look for an excuse to go away,” he says. “You don’t even realize the way I see you.”

Your eyes sting and you’re not sure if it’s because his words move you or you’ve just forgotten to blink for a long while. “You’re so corny.”

He laughs. “Well, someone needs to tell you you’re doing a good job because I can tell you’re not telling yourself,” he says before sheepishly adding, “and I thought we were exchanging what we like about each other.”

“Who said I like you?”

He grins, ruffling your hair despite the scowl you give him. You say nothing but then give a smile. You didn’t expect today to feel so good… but somehow, that insecurity that plagues your mind at all hours of the day disappears for a while. 

All you can think about is wanting this feeling to last with him. Without warning, you reach to grab Namjoon’s wrist to walk out into the open garden of the campus. In front of your sight, there’s a skyline of buildings decorating the city.

“Do you still stand by your statement that that building is the ugliest?”

You grin. “It’s literally hideous, Joon. I can’t believe you’re the top of our class but think those colors look nice together.”

He gives a warm laugh, unable to disguise his happiness at the way you call him endearingly. Your eyes go back and forth between the skyline and Namjoon beside you before deciding that while buildings are your first true love… there’s something even more beautiful about the boy next to you.

hehe so excited to write on this blog if u read till the end jus know u have all my love

[johannesviii]

This is a long post about Shaman King I started to write ages ago and I don’t have a good title for it

Let me tell you about Shaman King for a few minutes, okay. Because the new anime adaptation is coming in like 3 months and I’m still not ready for it. Also I started to write this post 5 years ago just because I re-read the whole thing at the time and it’s been in my drafts since then. Oops

But yeah Shaman King was the very first fandom I got into when I first had a real internet access, around 2003-2004. I was around fifteen. The manga was still going. And in retrospect, it was full of problems. Among other things:

Not enough female characters & questionable choices for most of the ones who actually have a part to play in the plot

A black character drawn with big lips (see above), and I REALLY HOPE this is gonna get fixed in the new anime ; I mean even the author stopped drawing him like that a few years ago when he did the “remix tracks” extra chapters so come on please

An imaginary native american tribe who, while pretty cool, is still imagined by a Japanese dude in 1999 soooo yeah there’s some rough corners here and there (edit: got some anon hate about that but I'm sorry, "ancient aliens" tropes always make me uncomfortable)

An art quality which gets worse and worse over time due to deadline pressures and an increasingly exhausted author

Was stopped before it could reach its natural conclusion (the author drew an actual ending years later and tbh it’s great so I’m putting this very low on the list)

So yeah. Manga from 1999. Problematic. Aged badly. It happens.

BUT.

In retrospect, most of it is such a kick in the metaphorical butt of shonen manga as a whole I can’t believe it was competing against Naruto and One Piece at some point?? Like

It’s a shonen so it plays the "dramatic and sudden power jump” game, but it uses it to reach a surprising conclusion (in the “new” ending I mean)

Most of the characters are “shamans” which means they can see ghosts and spirits, and they use them to fight, to work, or to help other people. This is a manga in which you’re gonna see a Russian shaman channeling a Vodyanoy spirit into a drum to create a torrential flood. You don’t see that in every manga

It’s stated right away that no shaman can be truely, irredeemably bad, because only good-natured people can see ghosts and spirits.

So, no matter how bad a villain may be, they must have had a good nature once even if they look like a complete bastard at the moment.

How far is the author willing to go with that concept? Pretty far

Even without talking about the main villain and how the story ends because, duh, spoilers... Like

My favorite character, who gets a full redemption arc later, cuts someone open in his first chapter

He’s one of the good guys 10 volumes later

Speaking of which the amount of gore in this manga has to be seen to be believed, Jump would never let this happen nowadays

If you’re wondering why this is in the “positive” (......?) list it’s because I was 14/15 and all kids that age crave blood and angst

The main character, Yoh, pictured above, is very laid-back, and I mean very. He listens to the in-world equivalent of Bob Marley and constantly wears big headphones. Also he wears sandals, and sometimes there’s a weed leaf drawn on his t-shirt

His parents arranged a mariage between him and a girl shaman even though they’re still teenagers, so this would have potential for High Drama - but surprisingly enough it turns out they like each other and after that he just goes around saying “this is my future wife” and she’s like “hello if you touch him I’m going to end you”

It sounds weird and it......... is, tbh, but it’s also refreshing among all the “ugh, girls, yuck” tropes that nearly all shonen mangas used to have at the time

Yoh’s main goal in life is to live with minimal effort

When his grandfather tells him he must train to participate in a shaman tournament which happens every 500 years, because the winner gets a wish granted by the Great Spirit, he decides his wish will be to make everybody’s life easy so that nobody will ever be forced to work or do shit they don’t want to do to survive anymore

Yoh Asakura is a Millenial icon don’t @ me

Speaking of which

Almost everyone in this series is broke as f█ck

Yoh owns a big house but that’s only because the price was ridiculously low since it’s the most haunted place in Tokyo and nobody else wants to live there. The house is constantly full of other characters (including enemies) who have literally nowhere else to go

The only important character who isn’t broke has money because his family is super rich but he hates all of them because they’re all bastards so it’s super awkward

Another character bought a really cool motorbike but he’s going to be in debt for the next 40 years

Also he’s a hobo

And also bi

What I’m trying to say is: relatable

Also the tournament is held by an imaginary Native American tribe. They’re also broke. All of them. The two judges who are in charge of the main characters live in a cramped appartment and often try to sell souvenirs in the street to pay the rent

I know that’s hashtag problematic but I still love them I can’t help it

Just like in most shonen mangas the hero seems to amass a big collection of Friends but since everyone is a weirdo in a way or another and comes from all over the world it looks even funnier

At some point during the tournament, the main characters have to form small groups of three in order to participate to the next part. Yoh’s team is one of the strongest teams among the ones we’ve met at this point, and is composed of 1) Yoh, a laid-back sleepy kid wearing toilet sandals 2) the aforementioned bi hobo who’s sad because his current crush is in a rival team, and 3) a thirty-something tatooed guy with no legs and an IV drip and who looks like he hasn’t slept since 1997

Oh and they all wear adds for a bath house

Because remember: everyone’s f█cking broke

Spoilers for the mid-point of the manga but I need to talk about it because it encapsulates everything I used to love in it

You’ve been warned

So

At some point the main character, Yoh, is asked to choose between staying in the tournament or resurrect his rival

This is framed as some kind of very heavy, very huge dilemma. Like oh no what will he do. Will he give up his dreams and hopes. Will You Push The Button(tm)

So the choice is presented to him

In a very dramatic way

And he immediately goes “there’s a way to save him?? YES PLEASE”

He doesn’t hesitate a single second and drops the tournament in a heartbeat to save the guy

This scene greatly contributed to make me a better person I’m not even joking at all

I love Yoh

So anyway I don’t have a proper conclusion for this

Shaman King is very flawed and its flaws need to be acknowledged to fully appreciate all the good things in it, and the “old” fandom from more than 15 years ago was a very good formative experience for me because the forum I was on (which was nuked from the face of the internet by a hacker “looking for training grounds” (his words not mine, he posted it on our frontpage a full week before he did it) in 2005, rip) was full of people who were really into criticising every little aspect of the manga but still loved it dearly

And I think that’s a healthy way to enjoy things and I think we should bring this back

Anyway

Shaman King extremely flawed but full of good things

I still can’t believe it’s back

Johannes out

[phoenixyfriend]

The “Momma Sturmvoraus was Literally Satan” AU

As requested by @spazzbot​. This AU was initially brainstormed on the GG fanworks server almost a year ago. Specifically, on the first day of 2020.

[ID: a truncated discord message by “Miss Nixy, Gay for RoboLadies” posted 01/01/2020. The message reads “I need to sleep but please for the moment consider:” and ends there.]

So. Let’s get to it.

Satan took a human form because why not see what's going on topside, live like a human, and “Oh shit is this pregnancy? This is pregnancy. Fuck, that's a tiny human. Which is now half demon. Am I supposed to take care it? Wonder if retconing this form into that Valois family was a bad idea. They do have SO much money though, I get to live like a queen. I suppose another child shouldn't hurt, it wasn't that bad. Oh, he's cute, this is actually making sense, why humans do all the sinning. Not counting dear Aaronev's murders, of course, those are just evil, but I did search out the worst of the humans to pair myself to...”

This is literally just "Tarvek and Anevka's mom was low-key Satan on a bored “let's be human for a decade or two to see what happens” jaunt, consequences happen because these kids are LITERALLY half-demon and arguably anti-Christs."

Also it's just Very Funny for Tarvek, ineffectual sexy lamp fashion twunk extraordinaire, to be an antichrist

Jeff thinks he’s pretty. Jeff keeps describing features that don’t entirely make sense. (Jeff’s canon name is Karl Thotep but they spent so long unnamed that the server collectively named them Jeff.)

This is not a crossover with anything, btw. Ambiguously Pop Culture Satan just got bored and went to have babies with a serial killer.

They’re just kids! That are vaguely demonic. So. Moreso than the rest of the Valois.

Sometimes "mom" comes back from the dead and visits Anevka and Tarvek to impart Wisdom and possibly magic lessons The rooms always smell faintly of sulfur after that...

They try to put Anevka in the machine but SHE isn't hurt and the MACHINE just melts

So that's the end of that.

It's very awkward for everyone, but the paperwork isn't too bad. It's very easy to write "incidental fire began during late-fugue experimentation, resulted in fire spreading through six rooms and several casualties, including Prince Aaronev Wilhelm Sturmvoraus."

As per @atagotiak​, “I feel like if we’re going in any way dimensional weirdness with thing, Tarvek got so good at exploring bc he could just clip through walls.”

With image provided by @thisarenotarealblog​:

Tarvek in Paris: My dead mother keeps showing up in my dreams to tell me I need to seduce my way out of my problems and also she looks like Satan. Tarvek's Voltaire-Appointed Therapist: I still don't know what that means. Just like the last five times. Tarvek: I keep telling her that I can’t seduce Colette, if seduction is that important she should get Anevka to do it.

Like he probably wouldn’t say most of that in front of any Voltaire-approved individual, but still.

Tarvek is still very good at self control but there's a Special Edge to his rants.

(Derailed in the moment to me thinking about Anevka in a sfw-but-concerningly-deadly succubus getup, because... yeah.)

Aaronev dies and goes to hell and his dead wife is just there like "hi! Time to be tortured for eternity!" He wasn't a good husband so. He can't exactly sentimentalize his way out.

“In the sexy way?” “... not for you, no.”

Mostly I just want the BULLSHIT that is "Storm Mom was actually just Satan getting bored and going on vacation as a retconned Valois girl, the kids are half-demons and sometimes it Shows."

To clarify: the Satan bit isn't the retcon. Grandma used to have one daughter. Now there are two. (Seffie and Martellus's mother doesn't remember being an only child, but sometimes...)

Satan retconned a new daughter in, which included a Valid Valois Venusian Vestment, so the blood tests play out.

The subtle signs of wrongness would be fun too. Anevka tends to smile a bit too wide and sharp for a human face. Inexplicable uneasiness, here you can’t point at any specific thing that’s wrong but it’s uncomfortable. Uncanny valley prettiness, almost like the porcelain she became in other timelines. Skin isn’t supposed to be that smooth.

My brain's pre-nap contribution at that point was "Satan's pronouns when not pretending to Human are sin/sinself" which is! Certainly a thing.

Tarvek, at some nebulous future point: I mean, your ancestors were monsters, but my dad was a serial killer and my mom was literally Satan, instead of just figuratively like Lucrezia, so. I mean. I kind of get what you're going through.

Per @firebirdeternal: Tarvek and Anevka growing up with "you're allergic to holy water" and not questioning it until a little later because What.

And then they test it and it's like "yeah, no, there's a rash now. That stung. What the fuck."

It INFURIATES Gil in Paris when Tarvek tells him that's a thing, because there's nothing chemically different about Holy water and regular water. But no, this is somehow happening.

It gets logged in medical journals as a Valois genetic thing because, well, Mom was like that too, right?

One time they both go into a church for an Adventure and Gil is very annoyed to find that Tarvek is like. Faintly smoking. It smells like burnt hair in here.

Gil: What smells like burnt hairgel? Tarvek: [glares]

Gil decides that it must be something particular to the church, like a fungus or something in the stone, contaminating the air and water so it only LOOKS like the holiness is what's setting off reactions.

It is not.

Tarvek once got into an argument with someone and ate a slab of raw, completely uncooked meat as a power move.

SVV seems to work perfectly. Everyone is fine. We get the ‘you fight like ducks’ moment.

And then Tarvek bursts into flames, and everyone panics because no they fixed this what the fuck is he still infected with Hogfarb’s oh my god... and then everything settles down and he's perfectly fine. Not a scratch on him, no longer turning funny colors. Completely unharmed. He's in a nicely tailored suit and looks faintly stunned

"I just met my dead mom, who's apparently Satan. She told me that after I died the first time just now, I should be harder to kill later, especially with fire, because now there's more demon and less mortal and guys I think I'm going crazy." "Is that a martini?" Tarvek looks down. "Apparently."

Tarvek starts just. Randomly setting things on fire by glaring too hard and has to tone it down. Meanwhile, Agatha and Gil are having crises about how he's somehow getting PRETTIER.

Is he faintly glowing? Maybe!

Gil handles it by angrily sniping at Tarvek about how of COURSE he's an evil little rat with a background like that.

Tarvek just wants a nap and to forget this ever happened. Many people are sworn to secrecy. It's very awkward.

Still, SVV did something, for handwave-y reasons, and so they're linked now. Gil and Agatha both getting tiny flashes of the same shenanigans.

They get none of the powers. They just keep getting Weird Shit.

Other characters with divine influence are like "Did you.... did you make a pact with a demon?" "What no that's our boyfriend."

Tho tbh I wouldn’t be surprised if a Heterodyne did sign a contract with a demon at some point in exchange for like. Materials. A hundred souls sacrificed in exchange for some succubus blood. Thanks!

Tarvek and Othar: Falling out of CW as in canon. Tarvek: WHAT THE HELL SINCE WHEN DO I HAVE WINGS HIDE THIS BEFORE I GET BOOTED FROM THE LINE FOR THE THRONE

IDK where Anevka is during all this. I think she might have decided to go sleep her way through the courts of the Ice Tsars. Vacation, y'know?

Othar after he's decided to make Tarvek his new Heroic Apprentice: AH, my poor afflicted young friend, it's noble of you to go against the dark nature of your tragic heritage like this. Tarvek: I hate you. I wish I could hate you to death. But you have a point. I shouldn't let my father's blood limit what I strive for in life. Othar: I... I thought your mother was... Tarvek: I know what I said.

Tarvek: Also you can't tell ANYONE about that, I can't have them thinking I'm not actually in line for the Storm King's throne.

He does admittedly have to like. Explain things to Grandma.

Terabithia is Tarvek’s maternal grandmother so this is supremely awkward. That said...

Grandma fondly remembers her pregnancy cravings; bone marrow and sulfur.

"Yeah so, my mother, your daughter, was... maybe actually Satan? But retconned into your life?" "Tarvek, darling, please. I figured that out half a century ago."

TARVEK ACCIDENTALLY FINDS HIM HIMSELF WEIRDLY INTENSE AT CONTRACTS

I mean that honestly just Tracks about Tarvek anyways? But like moreso.

He just. Writes something up and there's things getting signed or shook on and then the person tries to break the contract and either suddenly catch fire or are deeply unlucky for a set amount of time.

And Tarvek's just standing there like "how in the FUCK did I do that?"

Severity of infernal punishment depends on the severity of the breach of contract.

Tarvek finds out that Anevka's been convincing rich people to sign their souls over to her. It's a fun challenge. She keeps them in jars.

They can still remotely pilot their bodies but like. They can't TELL anyone what happened.

Satan: I'm going to go make babies and now everyone else has to deal with the consequences.

Anevka's living up to that whole "princess of hell" vibe. Tarvek's just like "nope nope nope I want the storm throne, not the hell throne, BYE MOM."

Satan's just feeling sinself down in hell like "awwww look at my babies go, aren't they adorable?"

Tarvek: Anevka, what... first off, how did you figure it out? Anevka: Well, I temporarily died when father put me in the machine, and... I can't say that hell kicked me out because they were afraid I'd take over, but mother DID say she'd rather I play about with human governments instead of Hell's. Tarvek: Okay, cool cool cool. What after you planning to DO with all these souls? Anevka: They make for some lovely reading lamps, don't they?

(Anevka absolutely sets herself the goal of acquiring new titles that rival her old ones, or even surpass them. She just black widows her way through Europa.)

I just want someone (probably Snackleford) to ascend, take one look at Tarvek, and run SCREAMING.

Tarvek still needed to be anchored to Higgs, because Tarvek is Baby.

Gil is eventually in a relationship with an Eternal God Queen and the Literal Son of Satan.

Family dinners can include ALL the in-laws if you duck down to hell! - You borrow Bill from... probably heaven, maybe purgatory. - You have Lu and Aaronev and Satan already there, though the first two... well. Aaronev and Lu get invited to dinner but they have to eat by themselves at the kiddy table and nobody talks to them or acknowledges their presence. After all, this is hell, and what better punishment for Lu than to be completely ignored, and for Aaronev to see Lu at her worst and be reminded that he gave everything for this horrible, horrible person who isn't even pretending to care about him anymore. - Zanta and Klaus get invited via portal. - Anevka saunters in with a blood-soaked dress and a complaint about militant demon-hunters refusing to let her go shopping for a new pair of shoes. - Zeetha tagged along with the OT3. (She can't wait to see this situation explode.)

Oh God, Satan is actually second place as far as good parenting goes.

Well, actually, fourth. Because Adam and Lilith. But second as far as bio parents go. 1. Zanta 2. Satan 3. Klaus 4/5. Lu and Aaronev N/A. Bill

Someone (Anevka) decides to stir the pot and invites Von Pinn, Terabithia, Bang.

Bang is basically Gil’s older sister, right? Right.

This is Zanta meeting Bang for the first time! Zanta is just: "It's so nice to meet my husband's adopted daughter." Klaus freezes. Bang freezes. Gil is the only one who is just. "Yeah." Meanwhile Zeetha is crying with laughter off to the side because both of them deserve this. (Zanta would legit love Bang though.)

Agatha: Tarvek, I think DuPree is-- Tarvek: Hitting on my sister? I know. Agatha: On your mom, actually. Tarvek: NO!

Also I do love the idea of like. Nobody tells Bang they're inviting her. She just wakes up in Hell like. "Ah. Yes. Fair enough."

Satan: Oh no no no my dear, you're here as a guest. Besides as well as you'd fit you're not one of mine, you've got other things waiting for you. Bang: Okay, but I love the decor. And is that Cheesecake?

Bang’s family has their own evil god in the novels, but! Bang DID pick on Tarvek a lot in Paris. Satan cares more than Anevka does. Bang might get the sexy punishment.

I feel like the fact that no permanent damage was done and it taught Tarvek a lot of things means Satan isn't gonna be all that upset about it.

And let's be real, if there's a character in GG who could look the literal Christian devil in the eye and be like "Yeah I tortured your kid, what're you going to do about it?" it's Bang.

Even Satan doesn't know what to do or think about Othar.

He sure is here! As Anevka’s arm candy! Nobody knows what to do except Anevka herself, who just wants to be Smug.

(What's that scene from Phineas and Ferb that's the mad scientist trapping the platypus within the rules of polite dining at a fine restaurant? Like he can't make a scene because that would be rude?) (That. Othar would dearly love to start a fight, but it's a Family Dinner. You're only allowed to fight verbally at those.)

(Othar isn't even fighting Satan, he just wants to argue with Klaus.) (And maybe fanboy in Bill's direction a bit).