#kind of sucked though bc I was looking forward to the plans with friends all week
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Excited about tonight, I hope it doesn’t rain.
#by bug#my plans for last night got rained out even tho it wasn’t actually that bad#kind of sucked though bc I was looking forward to the plans with friends all week#we moved them to next week anyway#tonight is another date night and I’m nervous but it should be fun again#I really appreciate how kind and communicative she is#also she is way out of my league lol#people keep telling me not to say that but it’s true!!#when she walked up to me last week I was like. what. THIS girl wanted to meet ME?#then I was like ‘omg you’re so beautiful in person’ and right after it was like fuck lmao#I didn’t mean to say it like that/imply she wasn’t beautiful in her pics aldndkfnfn#I’m so fucking awkward
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Let me tell you Straw, your Modern AU has given me an immense amount of inspiration. At one point I would have liked to write some fanfics around it but it wasn't really in my right to do so, so I didn't. I think I like this AU in particular because in order for Lamb and Narinder to even remotely make it work they have to fight through a ton of issues. I like seeing characters get completely broken by the consequences of their actions and then learn how to fight their own demons. It's also a bit of hit or miss on whether people like this relationship development, but I really like the kind of relationships in fiction where the characters have to really fight for it. It's all well and good to have a story where the characters fall in love instantly and after maybe one calamity or two, they set off in the sunset. But for me, I like the relationships more where you aren't sure where things are going. There's clear signs but the two characters really have to want that relationship to make it work and fight through a lot of problems. It can suck seeing the characters stumble but in the end to me, it's very rewarding that once they have (hopefully) solved said issues, they will probably have a stronger and healthier relationship than most. To me, any kind of foundation that has seen struggle and survived it will always be stronger than one that has never experienced conflict. In other words, a relationship that could survive its issues and find compromise and resolution I think is more likely to last in the end. This is not always the case but in fiction we can force happy endings right? That said though, I have to really wonder if your modern Narinder and Lamb will ever get their act together to actually forge a peaceful and successful life together. I don't know if you have a full story planned out or not but if Narinder has already screwed up to the point of a breakup then there may be no recovery from that. The path forward I see is him finally addressing his problems and trying to turn his life around. As the Lamb, hopefully they can find a life where they're not in threat of the outside world. Maybe the two could eventually reconcile and form a long lasting friendship even if it never fully repairs. I'm just always hoping that characters will learn from their mistakes even though often in real life some people never learn and will constantly do the same horrible things. If I had to say what the most appealing part of your au is, it's the hope aspect. It's the hope that someday Narinder will realize what a trash bucket he is and do something about it. It's the hope that the Lamb can realize their self worth. Maybe it'll end with Narinder, a fully cleaned up man with a plan, formally apologizing to the Lamb for everything he's done and after a cordial conversation he disappears, on to a new life. The Lamb doesn't really know what becomes of him but hopes that he will do some good with his life. Maybe somewhere in the back of their head they'll lament too that Narinder figured things out too late. I don't know, thinking out loud at this point. But hey, this is a very interesting AU and it has sparked far more ideas than just those. So have a good day and I very much look forward to more if you happen to do so.
me when anon goes into a full rant about my au i feel so happy that my au had make you have a lot of inspo <33333
anyway answering your question, Narinder and Lamb spiral after the breakup: lamb bc they were betrayed at their most vulnerable and Narinder trying to justify his bad action with "they deserved it" but deep down knowing he fucked up badly but he doesnt want to accept that and so he doubles down and he gets into a very bad place mentally.
but while Lamb finally opens up to their insecurities and their situations to goat and ratau after all. Narinder had already pushed everyone away; no family, no friends, nothing.
it takes a while until one day Narinder finally comes to the realization how badly he is and starts getting his life together. (i like to say that it all starts with cleaning his apartment lol)
he doesnt contact lamb for a whole year at this point he even got a job and is now reconnecting with his kids, until he remember Lamb and finally accepts that the way he treated them and all the blame the put on them wasnt right.
And so he tries to find them to talk things throught (goes to a point he kinda starts stalking them for a bit) and when he finally gets to them Goat is the one who interrupts him with punching him in the face. but mf doesnt give up which results in him getting his ass beaten many times.
For Lamb and Narinder to finally get on good terms it takes a while, if reconstructing their friendship already took them months, rekindle the romantic relationship its another can of worms that both try to take it slowly and not rush things. Narinder in that he becomes really nervous, afraid to hurt them again and Lamb tries to takes things step by step specially for trusting him again.
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ok i know dual destinies highkey kinda sucks in a creative variety of ways but you *have* to play spirit of justice if you haven’t yet because it’s Actually Kind Of An Apollo Game This Time not as much as AA4 but it’s still so much more apollo. and he gets a third backstory that slots in with the other two.
and. it is just very good and apollo has a bigger family and even more parental issues than you think he does and oughhhhh.
dual destinies is worth finishing purely for spirit of justice, in my opinion. ema is back and maya is back and we get to see pearl more and you literally get to convict a god-queen for murder as apollo. apollo goes off the shits and almost dies several times. it’s great.
also it means you get to read one of my friend’s awesome fics where apollo goes even further off the shits and gets trauma
THIS IS VERY INTERESTING TO ME bc ive usually heard it the other way around... as in i should play DD for athena and simon and not worry as much about SOJ... this is a new perspective to me
the plans always been to eventually play both (<- buying the probably horribly expensive port trilogy bc im an apollohead w no principles) but i think what's put me off of SOJ is like. idk the idea of getting more time playing as apollo is great & i like the idea of him having more of a family but you play as him in DD and it felt weird bc he felt kinda ooc & i'd prefer if they expanded on the family he... already has? i want more of him and trucy i want an expansion on his relationship with his mother i want the Reveal yknow. also from so much of what ive seen from the game + what ive seen ppl say about the game i'm really not looking forward to slogging through a ton of xenophobia lol... though apollo convicting a god-queen is such an intriguing sentence uve got me there (another thing im a lil hesitant about is raising the stakes too high idk if i'll like that but i will see... how it's handled...)
THAT BEING SAID I OBVIOUSLY DONT. wanna be too harsh on ppl who genuinely love the game & enjoy it's characters so i do wanna give it a shot. all of my problems with SOJ are real problems but at the end of the day i havent played the dang thing so who knows. also i love nahyuta's design. ALSO YEAH MAYA COMEBACK.... MY POOKIE MY SWEETPEA.
(side note. i have already read a couple of post-SOJ fics bc im silly. and i like reading about apollo doing anything. and i got tired of tiptoeing through the klapollo ao3 tag lol)
#sorry this is a giant reply I HAVE THOUGHTS...#if maya is the exact same character she was in the trilogy in SOJ i will be. frustrated...#but i dont have high hopes bc they just completely forgot she existed for years#i feel like i need to turn off my judgey critical brain if im gonna enjoy 5+6#but sadly i have turbo autism.#asks#TY FOR THE ENCOURAGEMENT I PROMISE I WILL PLAY IT. after the ports out
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The Only Apology Acceptable - Frank Iero x Reader
Summary: After a shitty birthday you get surprised by your best friend Reader: can be read as any gender Warnings: swearing, hints at self-negelect, stress bc of exams (yes, that’s a warning now), poorer proofreading than usual, shitty friends Word count:3 948 A/N: Very self-indulgent. It’s not my birthday tho. I just never celebrate my actual birthday bc the date is shit, so I celebrate it today. Or… not. The part with my dad actually happened.
You should not be this upset, you told yourself. You were no five year old anymore, who considered her birthday the most important day of the year.
And it was not like you were all too keen to be the centre of attention either. In fact, it was the strange mixture of not wanting to be the centre of attention and the need for reassurance that people cared about you, which had led to you only half-heartedly suggesting to your college friends that you could all go out together tonight, to celebrate your birthday. Last week almost all of the people you hung out with (to call them friends would have been an overstatement) had agreed to your plan, but over the past few days more and more of them had cancelled. Which sucked, sure, especially when the one person you really wanted to see on your birthday, namely your best friend Frank, was halfway across the country, touring with his band.
To make the whole situation worse was the upcoming deadline for an essay you had to finish, one that was supposed to be a partner project, but your partner was… well, his standards were not as high as yours.
And, to make your birthday even shittier was the exam on the day after.
All of this would have been bearable, especially since Frank had shot you a message at exactly midnight, sending you a picture of him trying to form a heart with his fingers. Even that you mother, who lived two towns over, did not have time for you, was okay. You knew there were family matters she was involved in, family matters that you would have to deal with if she did not, so you were rather thankful, she took care of them.
She had called you in the morning, a few minutes before you were due to leave the house, wishing you a happy birthday. You could tell she was stressed and in a hurry, so you had assured her it was fine to cut the conversation short. By then it was almost time for class, and even though you knew you would have to spend more than eight hours in a stuffy, hot classroom, you somehow were looking forward to seeing your friends.
You knew there would be no surprise gifts or anything; the group you hung out with were not the kind of people to prepare something like that, and you were not the kind of person to receive gestures like that.
Nonetheless you had to admit it hurt a little, when none of them even mentioned your birthday. But well, you forgot birthdays often enough as well.
What did hurt was finding out that the whole group had planned on going out in the evening, to a nice new Japanese restaurant that had just opened the other month. You were sitting right next to them, as they discussed the plan for the evening, unable to help but wonder if they had cancelled on you for the restaurant.
You almost did not dare asking if you could come to, but you decided that if you did not, and they failed to invite you, your misery was on nobody but you. What you had not expected was their pitiful glances as they told you they had already reserved a table, and had not counted you in. That was the moment you decided that this birthday, like about all the others before too, sucked, and that you wanted it to be over as quickly as possible.
In your break you texted Frank, hoping he would tell you some absolutely crazy story from tour that might cheer you up, but by the time your classes ended, you still had not received a response from him.
On the way home you passed a supermarket and two bakeries, every time considering to buy a treat for yourself, a piece of cake, maybe a snack for the studying you still had to do, or a frozen pizza to make for dinner. But every time you felt too miserable for it, feeling like you would not enjoy it either way.
You had just taken you shoes off in the hallway of the small flat you were living in, when your phone rang. For the first time of the day excited, you answered, finding it was your father who had called. He was on a business trip, and wanted to tell you about his day. With not one word he mentioned your birthday, and you did neither. You knew he had his own workload and had probably forgotten which day it was, but when you hung up, after joking around with him for several minutes, you could not help the tears that began blurring your vision.
Not feeling like eating anything, you tried napping, but the whole time your mind circled around the exam you had to write the following day, and the essay you still had to edit.
So after almost ten minutes of restlessly laying on the couch you grabbed your mobile, realizing that Frank still had not answered, and eventually moved to your desk, beginning to revise the material for the exam one last time. It was hard staying focused, your mind again and again straying to your friends.
You wondered if the others were already at the restaurant, if any of them had remembered that it was your birthday today. Had they even felt the slightest bit bad for not having invited you, birthday or not?
And why was Frank not answering? During the day he never took longer than two hours to shoot a message back at you, but now it had almost been eight. Was he asleep? Their next show was half a week away, as you knew, so he could not be busy with that. What was he up to when they did not play shows? Did they go sightseeing? Had he even spared you another thought today?
After you had finished your last revision of the day, you grabbed an apple as a sorry excuse for dinner and began editing the essay.
You were halfway through, when you decided you had enough of the silence around you, and turned on the small, shitty TV in the corner of the room, letting it quietly play some crime show you were not interested in. You had made it to the last paragraph of your essay, when suddenly there was a ring at your doorbell, startling you terribly.
Wondering who might have the audacity to drop by, you got up from your crouched over position at the desk, and stretched. Maybe it was one of your neighbours. Many students lived in this apartment complex, since the rent was very cheap, so maybe one of them needed eggs or salt or something. As you made your way to the door, you quickly thought through the contents of the fridge. No, no eggs, you didn’t have eggs. Salt though, you had salt. Flour too, even baking parchment, if that was what the poor fellow came looking for.
When you opened the door, nothing could have prepared you for who was waiting on the other side.
Heavy backpack lazily flung over his shoulder, cuddled in an oversized sweater with his worn out jeans jacket on top, and black hair totally tousled, Frank shot you a wide grin as you opened the door, and stopped in your track.
“Happy birthday,” he laughed, quickly engulfing you in a hug. It took you a moment to process what had happened, your face already buried in the soft fabric of his hoddie, when you hugged back.
“What are you doing here,” you asked incredulously, pulling away from Frank, even though he had been all you had been thinking about for the last few hours.
“Well, I kinda had a feeling my best friend was having a shitty birthday, so I grabbed the first flight I could get, and decided to surprise you,” he shrugged, his eyes nervously watching your reaction, as if he was scared you would be upset with him.
“I- Frank- but don’t you have shows to play?”
“None that I can’t make it back to in time,” Frank answered casually, making you wonder how long exactly he had taken to make the decision to come see you. Probably barely long enough to find a flight here and back to the city he was scheduled to play at next.
“You’re impossible,” you sighed, “come in.”
“Already thought you wouldn’t offer,” Frank grinned, and bent down, picking something up from the floor. “For you.”
Stunned you took the small bouquet of flowers he had practically shoved in your face as he stepped past you into your flat. Sunflowers, red roses and baby’s breath were tied in a playful but also… romantic arrangement. You pushed the thought out of your head, since you had forbidden yourself years ago to hope for any romantic interest from Frank’s side. These were probably the only flowers he had found in the airport flower shop this late in the evening.
“Where is everyone?”
Frank had thrown his backpack onto the small bench in the hallway, taken off his shoes and jacket, and stepped into your tiny living room, which at the same time was your study, kitchen and dining room. Only the bath and the bedroom were separated, although the bedroom was barely big enough for your bed.
“Hm?”
Having closed the door, you had followed Frank, searching for a glass, in lack of vases, for the flowers.
“Didn’t you say you wanted to invite people over for a party or something?”
Frank looked around the room, noticing the washed and dried cereal bowl next to the sink, obviously from this morning, the left overs of the apple you had eaten earlier on a small plate next to your opened laptop, which displayed a document you had been working on, one that looked pretty official. Nothing whatsoever hinted at a party or even a small get together. No decorations, no glasses or beverages or snacks prepared. He already regretted having mentioned anything; it was obvious the plan had changed.
“Everyone cancelled on me,” you answered, filling the glass you had fetched with water and placing the flowers in it. “You didn’t check your phone, did you?”
“Died on me,” Frank nodded. “What happened?”
“I don’t know really,” you answered, walking over to your desk and saving the document you had worked on before clearing the table so you could place the flowers on it. With the little space you had, you opted for using your desk as dinner table. “Just… they all cancelled and today I found out they ended up having booked a table at this new fancy restaurant.”
“Why didn’t you ask to join,” Frank wondered, finally settling down on the sofa that stood against one of the walls, as he watched you rummage through your cupboard.
“Don’t think I didn’t,” you answered, pulling out a kettle and setting up water to boil. Frank grinned as he watched you grab some tea from the shelf. You always made tea for him when he came to visit, and he tried telling himself it was just in his head, but he was convinced your tea was the best he had ever had. “They said they hadn’t planned me in, so they didn’t have the seats.”
Behind your back you could hear Frank stiffening. “That’s asshole behaviour,” he snarled.
You did not have to turn around to know the expression he was wearing; furrowed brows, lips tightly pressed together. You knew his malcontent was not directed at you, and yet it always made you feel uncomfortable, seeing him upset like this.
He was protective over you sometimes, you knew that, but the way he stared at a spot outside the window now, made your heart clench. All day you had felt ignored and unloved, but Frank, with one single expression expressing his anger at you having been treated unfairly made up for the whole shitty day.
“It’s okay,” you tried reassuring him, waiting for the water to boil, mainly to see his face soften back into the beautiful smile you loved to see on him.
“It’s fucking not,” Frank disagreed getting up from the sofa. “That’s absolute bullshit! How dare them!”
“That’s just how life is,” you shrugged.
“No it’s not. At least it’s not supposed to be.” Frank reached over your shoulder, flicking the switch of the kettle off.
“What are you doing?”
“We’re going out, and I’m telling these people exactly what I think about them leaving my best friend hanging,” Frank declared, already marching into the hallway to put his shoes back on.
“The fuck you are!”
Grabbing him by the back of his shirt, you brought him to a stop.
“Why not?”
“You can’t just march into that restaurant, and start beef with some college students!”
“Again: why not? You deserve better than to be treated like this! If I hadn’t randomly decided to jump into a plane this morning, you’d probably still be sitting over that paper or whatever you were writing. All alone. On your birthday!”
For a moment you stared up at Frank, at his black hair hanging in wild strands into his forehead, at his hazel eyes flashing passionately in the dim light of your flat, at the way his jaw was clenched angrily. And just for a moment you allowed yourself to imagine the scenario of Frank waltzing into a fancy Japanese restaurant with all his unrestrained, by band- and punk-life sharpened blades of anger, and telling your college mates just exactly what he thought of them letting you down. It truly would be a sight to behold.
“We don’t even know if they’re still there,” you argued finally.
For a few more seconds Frank stared at you, before he deflated.
“Fuck, okay.” He shook his head, giving his shoes next to the door a long look. “Fine, you win. But only under one condition.”
Expectantly you raised your eyebrows.
“You tell me what kind of take-out you want, and let me order.”
For a moment you felt tempted to tell him you did not want to eat anything. Earlier in the evening, when you had forced down the apple, you had felt sick at the thought of food, but now you realised just how hungry you were.
“Italian,” you decided spontaneously, knowing there would be no point in arguing with Frank over what to order.
“Then I know just the place,” he grinned. Placing both hands at your shoulders, he maneuvered past you to reach your phone station, but not without pressing a quick kiss to your forehead.
It was over quicker than you had time to register it, his lips warm against your skin one moment and gone the next, but the gesture made your heart beat faster, and your cheeks heat up.
While Frank dialled the number to whatever place he seemed to have memorized it from, you returned back to the kettle with water, turning it back on, before you turned off the TV, which had still been running.
A few minutes later Frank came back to join you in the living room, and settled back down on the sofa.
While you were waiting for whatever Frank had ordered, you shared the tea you had prepared, and talked about what you had experienced in the time since you had last seen each other. Frank obviously had the far more interesting stories, having travelled around the country and all, but he was curious and listened to everything you had to say, his attention on you feeling intense, as he watched you gesture around.
It turned out it had been a wise decision to let Frank order. The delivery service dropped off several small boxes with different kinds of pastas, two huge pizzas, one of which your absolute favourite, drinks, and a box with tiramisu. Frank insisted on paying, basically battling you in the doorway about who got to pay, making the elderly Italian man who had dropped off the food raise his eyebrows at you. You lost the fight quickly, and were back on your way to the living room, balancing the food as good as possible in your arms, as you overheard the two men talking in the hallway.
“I didn’t know you had a sweetheart, Frank,” the old man teased.
“Well, you don’t always know everything,” came the reply that made your heart stutter. He hadn’t denied it. And even if this meant technically nothing, it still reminded you off the kiss he had pressed to your forehead not half an hour ago.
You had barely piled all the boxes onto your desk, when Frank joined you, and together you opened everything and spread it out over the small couch table, so you could sit comfortably while eating.
It felt like it was way past midnight, but the clock only showed 10pm, when you had finished the tiramisu. There were some leftovers from the pasta dishes, and neither Frank nor you had finished your pizzas, since you had strategically calculated enough space in your stomach for the desert, so you packed everything up, stored the leftovers in your formerly almost empty fridge, and cuddled back up on the sofa.
It was not unusual for you and Frank to sit close, but now he had pulled your legs over his lap, and wrapped an arm around your shoulder, allowing you to rest your head against his. You were not sure what he was thinking as he drummed small rhythms against your thigh, or why he had pulled you in like that, but after such a disappointing day as today, you really needed his comfort, really needed him. He smelled of cheap airport coffee and his shampoo, which you loved so much, and his hair softly tickled your face.
“Don’t you have an exam tomorrow,” he suddenly remembered, pulling away a little, and thus your moment of peace was destroyed.
“Thanks for reminding me,” you whined, dropping your head to his shoulder.
“At what time do you need to get there,” he asked, continuing to drumming his fingers against your thigh in a rhythm only he could make out.
Trying to remember the time you answered him.
“So you should get up by… ten? Latest. Maybe we should get you to bed,” Frank thought out loud.
“That’s still more than nine hours,” you defended, as you glanced at the clock. It had been 10pm when you had cleaned up the table but now it was almost quarter to one. Had you really spent this much time cuddling with Frank? It had felt like minutes, not long enough anyway.
“But I need you to be well rested tomorrow, so you can give it your all,” he gently nudged his nose against your head, coaxing you to look up at him.
You wanted to answer, to talk back, but the words died in your throat. Frank’s face was so close to you that you could see every tiny freckle, even in the dim, orange light of you old lamp. His eyes studied your face closely, as you just stared at him, unable to look away or think of anything to say or do.
And in the next moment his lips were pressed to yours, making your breath hitch. Instinctively you brought up your hands to his face, cupping it, as he kissed you first gently, then more demanding. You had half a mind to wonder why he had kissed you, why he kept kissing you, too focused on how soft his lips were, on how sweet he tasted, with the last traces of cream and coffee from the tiramisu lingering on his tongue as he licked against your lips. You gave in, throwing all the resolutions of the past years out of the window. Every thought of ‘he doesn’t like you like that’ and ‘you’re just friends, you shouldn’t think about him this way’ evaporated into thin air as he kissed you deeper, pulled you closer. Your hands were wrapped into his soft curls, the only remaining thought in your head being that you never wanted this moment to end, when suddenly he froze up, and pulled away.
“Shit, fuck, I’m sorry,” he swore, turning his face away from you as well as possible with you halfway sitting in his lap. “Fuck, god damn it.”
“Frankie?”
Your voice was rough, and your heart hammering in your chest, as you tried turning his face back to you, but he resisted your gently touch.
“Did I- did I do something wrong,” you asked carefully, refusing to move away from him already, since he made no attempt of pushing you off. Instead he covered his face with his hands, but not before you could see that he was blinking rapidly.
He laughed a joyless laugh. “You didn’t do anything wrong,” he mumbled into his palms. “But I messed up fucking big time.”
You waited for him to elaborate, but when he did not, you gently brushed one of your hands through his hair, the other over his fingers that still covered his face.
“Is this about the kiss,” you asked, and for a long moment you expected him not to answer, before he eventually looked up at you.
His eyes were red rimmed, but there were no tears, only tightly pressed together lips as he carefully scanned your face.
“I fucked up, I shouldn’t have kissed you,” Frank explained, breaking your heart a little. “Just because I’ve wanted to do this for so long doesn’t mean you-“ he swallowed, “If you want me out of here, I completely get that. I wouldn’t want some creep who just threw himself at me-“
“You’re no creep, Frank, shut the fuck up,” you interrupted him.
For yet another moment you just looked at each other, before he spoke up again.
“I’m sorry for kissing you,” he mumbled. You nodded, resisting the urge to tell him that you had not minded at all, might have even asked him to kiss you if you had known he had wanted to. “How can I make this up to you?”
His hazel eyes were full of sincerity, and yet the awkwardness of him apologizing for overstepping a boundary while you were still seated in his lap did not escape either of you.
“Well,” you gently brushed you hand through his hair again, his curls silky under your fingertips, as you remembered what he had said, that he had wanted to kiss you for a long time. “The only apology I think I can accept is another kiss.”
You watched as Frank processed your words, as their meaning reached through to him, and he perked up.
“You sure,” he asked, his eyes flickering to your lips, watching them as you smiled.
“Absolutely. A kiss and nothing else will do. You’re not the only one who has wanted this for too long.”
It was as if your words had broken a wall because Frank quickly leant forward, once more pressing his lips to yours as you giggled and pulled him in closer.
“Wait, wait-“ This time Frank did not pull away completely, just far enough to be able to whisper against your lips. “This is not a onetime thing right? ‘cause I don’t think I could take it if it were.”
“No-uh,” you shook your head slightly, “you’re stuck with me for as long as you’ll have me.”
“I see nothing to complain about then,” Frank smiled, bringing his lips back against yours, and kissing you again with all the love he had not dared showing you before.
Tagged:
@alexstyx @recommendedattheprice @jayloverthe3rd @robinruns @lookalivefrosty @butterflycore @vamp-void @angelevansfalls @omgsuperstarg @reinaeru @deadlovers @kpopchangedmylifesstuff
#frank iero x reader#frank iero x reader fluff#frank iero x you#frank iero fanfiction#frank iero fanfic#my chemical romance fanfic#my chemical romance fanfiction#my chemical romance imagine#my chemical romance imagines#frank iero imagines#frank iero imagine#fluff#friends to lovers#Happy Birthday
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when their teammate has a crush on you | 2
characters: akaashi + kyoutani + osamu + tendou
request: aaaaaaa!! i was stalking your feed when i thought of something 👉🏻👈🏻so you did a "when their teammate has a crush on you" and i reaaaally loved it a lot🥺could you do it with tendou, akaashi, kyoutani, and osamu? if you want to!! • by @kalesugar
warnings: osamu and tendou’s are suggestive
notes: since osamu’s and tendou’s are sexual, everyone is 18+ in those but in the others there is no smut + (i might write a fic about tendou’s bc i’ve been wanting to write a smut w them idk if people want that)
part one | part two
akaashi:
so bokuto might have had a little crush on you
and it’s not like he would actually do anything about it
he respected you and akaashi and your relationship way too much
he even rooted for you two to get together, he thought you were perfect for each other (you were)
but he couldn’t help the way his heart would beat faster when you were around sometimes, the way his eyes would immediately drift to you when you walked in a room, the way your smile made him feel all tingly inside
he was honestly just waiting the feelings out and tried to act normal around you
he told akaashi about his crush on you cause he didn’t want to hide anything from him
and your boyfriend understood why he would have a crush on you, he couldn’t blame him––but that doesn’t mean he was too happy about it
realistically he wasn’t going to ban him from seeing you or anything, you were allowed to interact
but part of him felt a little odd when bokuto would make jokes with you, a light blush on his cheeks that you most likely assumed was from his laughter
bokuto sure was making you laugh a lot tonight. the three of you were hanging out at his place for your weekly hangout and it seemed he just had an endless amount of jokes. it’s not that akaashi didn’t like his jokes, it’s just that he didn’t like that it seemed as though his best friend was making the jokes for the sole purpose of making you laugh.
he thought he was doing a good job at hiding his inner thoughts, but in reality, you had picked up on them almost immediately. you waited until you were in the comfort of akaashi’s home, where you were staying the night, to ask him about it when you noticed he wasn’t going to bring it up himself.
“is something bothering you? could tell you weren’t really here tonight.”
he looked away and shrugged, and you stepped closer to him.
“is it...maybe because bokuto has a little crush on me?”
he held his breath for a second in shock as he looked at you silently, blinking a few times. “you...you know?”
you shrugged, a small smile on your face. “i had a feeling. i mean, your facial expressions may be minimal but i can still decode them keiji.” he blushed and looked down, scratching the back of his head sheepishly. “i could tell you were watching him a little more closely when he would talk to me.”
“i...i trust him, i do.” he looked into your eyes, “and i trust you too. it’s just...it doesn’t really make me feel too good knowing that bokuto-san,” he muttered the next part, “with all his muscles and charm––has feelings for you.”
you shook your head and put your hands on his cheeks to look into his eyes earnestly. “you have nothing to worry about baby, i promise that. you’re the only man i have eyes for.”
his hands found their spot on your waist as he gave you a small, but grateful and loving smile. “i know. i love you.” he kissed you lightly and you smiled against his mouth.
“love you too. so much.”
kyoutani:
let’s say oikawa likes you––
well more-so that he finds you attractive and can’t help but flirt with you from time to time harmlessly
kyoutani doesn’t give a fuck sfkjdh he will growl at his captain
sometimes he’s not even in the mood, he’ll just take your hand or throw you over his shoulder while you’re talking to oikawa and just walk away
meanwhile oikawa is just pouting and complaining to your boyfriend as he blatantly ignores him
“you know it’s not very nice to interrupt a conversation like that, mad-dog!”
oikawa wouldn’t actually try to steal you away from your boyfriend, but he did have some genuine questions that were borderline offensive sdfjghs
like “how did mad-dog manage to get you?”
“are you sure you’re not being held against your will?”
bottom line is, your boyfriend is not happy
he will try to prevent you from even being in his captain’s line of sight
he’ll step in front of you or turn around and go another way
when oikawa approached you after the game, strategically waiting for your boyfriend to go get his things so he’d have more time to talk to you, you knew it was only a matter of time before you were snatched away by a growling kyoutani.
his plan kind of work, considering the conversation lasted about thirty seconds? longer than it normally did. the captain was leaning against the wall next to you, his arm above your head as you looked up at him, completely unaffected by his charming eyes––you appreciated the effort he took to talk to you, but you knew he was just a natural flirt at heart.
he was mid-sentence when your boyfriend came storming up to the two of you and grabbed your hand, marching you away from the complaining boy. you just laughed and squeezed his hand, “you know i thought you would have gotten tired of doing that by now.” he grumbled in response and you tugged his hand and led him to a quiet corner.
he was looking down at the floor but you put a hand under his chin and made him look you in the eyes, your small smile making him calm down a bit. “you have to stop letting him get to you like this. you know i’d never entertain his flirting––i’m yours.”
he clenched his jaw and nodded, looking to the side when he heard his captain walking by. you turned his head to face you again and surprised him with a kiss and his hands came up to squeeze your waist. he groaned into your mouth and you pulled away to look at him.
“that’s a good way to calm me down.”
you smiled, “oh yeah?”
he nodded, “yeah” and put his lips back on yours.
osamu:
so atsumu may or may not have had a crush on you
and yes you were dating his brother
no he wasn’t going to steal you (though he thinks he absolutely could if he wanted to), he respects you both and your relationship
and he loves how happy you make his brother
...but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t check you out sometimes or harmlessly flirt with you (he can’t help it, have you seen yourself?)
osamu would catch his brother ogling at you all the time, or hanging around in the room when you’re over for no reason
he’d usually just smack his head and tell him to fuck off
or he’d take a different approach––
you were really trying to pay attention to atsumu’s story, or whatever it is he was saying, but you couldn’t focus on anything but the feeling of osamu’s lips on your neck, and his hand running along your thigh, the other gripping your waist as you sat practically on him on the couch.
the two of you were spending time together, alone, when atsumu came in, and decided to third-wheel. you didn’t really have a problem with it, but by the way your boyfriend soon pulled you into his lap to distract himself, and most certainly you as well––you could tell he was bothered.
atsumu trailed off and scratched his neck awkwardly, laughing. “do you guys wanna get a room or something?” he joked and his brother barely lifted his head, hands pulling you even closer.
“we did get a room, you came in here.”
atsumu rolled his eyes. “so how long are you planning on assaulting y/n’s neck for?”
osamu lifted his head, annoyance radiating off of him and brought one hand up to tilt your head towards his, his lips grazing yours. “unless you want to see us fuck, you should leave.”
atsumu blushed but smirked, “i mean...”
osamu glared at him. “get out.”
tendou:
so when you and tendou started dating, you obviously started hanging out with him more, but also ushijima
it’s not like ushijima was expecting to develop feelings for you
he didn’t want to––he honestly even searched up how to stop a crush from progressing
he always thought you were nice and good looking but after hanging out with you more, that’s when he realized he liked your personality too and that you were a good person
he waited a little longer before telling tendou––yeah he told him
but tendou had already figured it out, his eyes picking up on the way ushijima was a little more tense or aware of himself when you were around
the way he would smile and blush when you hugged him goodbye
if anything, tendou thought it was cute
he got you on board with his idea and after you all graduated, you both put the plan in action
ushijima was sat at the edge of the bed, looking at you and his best friend in confusion, “i thought you said my graduation present was in here?”
your boyfriend stood behind you, arms circling around your waist as he peered over your shoulder, his eyes piercing and teasing as he stared at the boy on the bed. “well you see ushi, after you told me about your little crush––which i’m assuming you still have?”
he nodded unashamed, and unblinking as he looked at the two of you and you felt a tingle run down your body.
tendou went on, “well after that, i figured you might want to have some fun with the two of us,” he kissed your neck teasingly and the brown-haired boy shifted a bit on the bed, clearly itching to touch you. “we both agreed that it was a great idea.” he brought his attention back to your neck and you figured that was your cue to take over.
“so what do you say, ushi?” you sighed softly when tendou sucked a mark onto your sweet spot and you noticed ushijima’s eyes darken. “do you want this graduation present?”
he licked his lips and scooted forward, his hands squeezing his thighs almost painfully hard. “yes. please–”
#akaashi#akaashi x reader#akaashi fluff#akaashi headcanon#akaashi angst#kyoutani#kyoutani x reader#kyoutain headcanon#kyoutani fluff#kyoutani hc#osamu#osamu x reader#osamu smut#osamu headcanon#osamu hc#tendou#tendou x reader#tendou smut#tendou headcanon#tendou hc
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in which harry is the right person at the wrong time.
a/n: hi lovelies! here is my christmas fic for @goldenbluesuit ‘s xmas challenge! i chose the song ‘baby, it’s cold outside’ and it’s my FAVORITE xmas song, so i’ve included bits and pieces of the song throughout the story! hope you all like it, and happy holidays! pls rb and send feedback bc they’re very helpful :)
WORD COUNT: 9.6k of ex lovers to lovers, teacher!harry x lawstudent!yn filled with slight angst, missing someone dearly, and fluff
WARNINGS: mentions of alcohol consumption
COME INTO MY INBOX AND LETS TALK ABOUT ‘BABY, IT’S COLD OUTSIDE’ i’d love to know your thoughts!
pls rb to share! <3
17 December 2020
A chilly and snowy night was upon you as you took a shot of hard liquor. The face of disgust appeared on your face as the liquid slowly went down your throat after you hammered the shot of tequila.
Normally, you wouldn’t pregame when you were going to your friend, Addie’s, house where you would drink some more, but you needed to shake off your nerves that you felt at the moment. You took a deep breath after taking your second shot and you had physically felt yourself starting to relax.
Rolling your head to stretch your neck out, you decided it was time to leave since it was nearing seven in the evening. You called yourself an Uber because of the alcohol in your system and you were planning to sleep over Addie’s place since she said she would bring you back in the morning before you had to go to work.
You waited for your Uber by the front door while you looked in the mirror, putting your black beanie onto your head. You were bundled up in a black university sweater, a camel color coat over, along with tan lounge pants and a pair of black boots. Once you got a notification that your Uber driver, Jason, was in front of your house, you grabbed your overnight bag and headed out the door.
You placed the hood of your sweater over your beanie so you got more warmth since it was quite cold. You were never one for the cold weather, which is unfortunate since you lived in London. You cherished the days where it was sunny and warm; the sun bright and warm as you laid on the grass in complete content.
You missed those days. You missed the days where you didn’t worry about a singular thing.
Looking out the window, on your way to your destination, you watched the snow slightly fall, hitting and building up on the ground while the pedestrians walked through the streets, bundled up in thick layers of clothing. Some people were with others, walking hand in hand or hugging each other through the cold. Even though it was freezing cold outside, there were smiles on their faces because the hold of one another was enough. They could get through the worst snowfall, but if they were in each other’s arms, it wouldn't matter; they could get through anything.
The cold had reminded you that you were missing a pair of strong arms that should’ve been around you through this season, but you were completely frozen—left out in the cold to warm yourself up.
You sighed and the car stopped in front of Addie’s place. You thanked your driver, wishing him a ‘Happy Holidays’ before you got out and buzzed your best friend’s apartment onto the buzzer system; hearing one back, you entered the complex while brushing your shoes onto the floor mat, so you wouldn’t slip while going up the stairs.
You were grateful the building was warm, and you’re sure Addie would crank up the heat for you since you would always complain how ‘bloody cold’ it is all the time.
Once you opened the door, you were met with your entire friend group who were all lounging around in the living area. They all faced the door once you walked in, seeing who the last friend to arrive. Greetings were sent towards you, Addie and Nic got up from their spots on the couch that they’re going to lose because behind them, Elijah and Niall were getting up from their spots on the floor to steal it.
“Hey! There you are! We were all waiting for you,” Addie said, giving you a hug.
Nic went in for a hug before she pulled back and looked at you suspiciously. You looked at her confusingly, wondering why she was looking at you the way she was before she said, “Did you party before you came here?” You furrowed your brows until you remembered that she probably smelt the alcohol that you took before you left.
“Oh, uh, just took a couple of shots before I came here.” The two girls understood quite well, thankfully.
“No worries! Come join,” Addie welcomed you in. The two went back to the living area, only to see that their spots were taken, so they grabbed the two boys’ arms, yanking them out of their seats. You chuckled as you walked to Addie’s room to put all of your belongings.
Once you did that, you exited her room the same time the bathroom door opened across her room. The person in front of you was the reason why you were so anxious before you left; why you needed to relax for a bit and mentally prepare yourself before going to Addie’s place.
The person in front of you was Harry Styles.
The person who had your heart.
The person you were deeply in love with still.
The person who was your ex boyfriend.
“Hi,” he said surprisingly, smiling a bit.
“Hi, Harry,” you replied, inching towards him as he met you halfway. He wrapped his arms around your shoulders as you did the same around his waist, resting your cheek onto his chest. The hug was warm and comforting, like it always was, and you looked forward to these kinds of hugs every time you saw him. But your heart ached every single time.
Pulling away, you gave him a small smile before you two walked out of the hallway and to where your friends were. There was laughter between the two girls and guys as Niall was telling them a joke. Nic was the one who saw you and Harry first, and her laughter died down. She looked at you concerningly, giving you those eyes as if they were asking if you were okay, and you nodded your head to reassure her. You and Harry join the group; you sat on the loveseat on one side of the rectangle wooden table, while Harry sat on the floor on the other side.
You tried joining in on the conversation and laughter, but you couldn’t help but take sneaky glances back to Harry, only to find him getting glances at you as well.
It was hard to focus on anything your friends were saying when Harry was in the same room, but you realized it was also difficult when he wasn’t in the same room because then you were wondering where he was.
It wasn’t easy being friends with Harry after the breakup, good friends, especially; and it pained you to actually act normal around him when all you wanted to do was scream, cry, and have him comfort you. But you did your very best to maintain a cool, calm, and collected mood whenever you’re around him, although inside, your heart was racing and everything you said seemed incoherent.
You tried your best to avoid him after you two split, and he did as well, but being part of the same friend group just didn’t go well with your wishes. You two had to suck it up and be normal around each other.
Being with Harry was possibly the best eight months of your life. To some, it’s not the longest amount of time, but he was one of a kind; you couldn’t find anyone out there like him--not like you were looking anyways. It genuinely felt like you’ve been together for years, and when you two were celebrating your six month anniversary, your friends had questioned you saying ‘It’s only been six months?!’
Your relationship with Harry was all things blissful. It was pure happiness and love, and you wouldn’t want it with anyone else. You two rarely got into fights, and if you did, it was most likely a petty and annoyed argument that would have you two back in each other’s arms only twenty minutes after. He was your fresh breath of air that made you laugh and orgasm…multiple times.
It was all smiles and laughs until it wasn’t.
You two had gotten together the second semester of senior year. Meeting at the library because you couldn’t reach a book, it didn’t take long for you both to get together. You had known him for two weeks until he asked you out on a date where he kissed you for the first time. The dates and kisses continued on for six months until you mutually decided to call it quits.
It wasn’t an easy decision, but considering that Harry was going to a different school that was in a different country for his master’s degree in education for the fall semester, and you were also in the midst of your career; interning at a law firm didn’t quite clear up your schedule, only making you busier by the hour. There was barely any time for the two of you to spend time with each other with how busy and hectic your lives were, so there would most likely be no calls coming in or distant texts that were sent out to make it seem like the void had disappeared.
Like two mature adults, you and Harry called it quits after the summer. He moved away to get his master’s and you kept yourself busy at the law firm. It wasn’t easy--still isn’t easy, but it was for the best. The both of you needed to focus on your careers and yourself before you two were ready enough to get back together. That’s if Harry wanted to get back together anyways.
Of course you wanted to get back together with him, but you didn’t know where he stood on that, or if he was even seeing someone. Throughout the two years that he was away, you only saw him during summer and winter breaks, so he could possibly be seeing someone whenever he goes back to school. But now that he had moved back again, your mind was spiraling because now you got to see him more.
Finally, you broke out of your trance, once again thinking about Harry, you saw him looking at you. The both of you completely tuned out to the conversation and laughter coming from your friends. You held your wine glass up, Harry doing the same while smirking before you both sipped your drinks, hoping the sweet wine would relax your bodies.
Nic was picking out a small paper out of the Santa hat Addie was holding. She took a quick peek at it before, smirking to herself before Addie moved over to you for your turn. As you chose your Secret Santa, you hoped it was a good one. It’s not like you didn’t love your friends, some of them were picky, and by some, you mean Nic.
You looked at the piece of paper, smiling before shoving it into your pocket. Addie moved onto Harry who was the last one to choose, and you watched him as he looked at the paper like it was a poker hand. He raised his brows, smirking before he looked up and started to fold the paper. Your eyes looked down at his polished hands, noticing that he still wears the same rings as he did when you first met him. Your favorites were his initial, thinking how incredibly sexy and alluring they looked on him as he walked around confidently. You’ve stolen them multiple times as well, even if they were too big on you, but the thought of walking around with Harry’s name on you just seemed so enticing.
Niall’s laughter brought you out of your sensual thoughts about Harry’s hands and you realized you were caught staring, and Harry knew exactly what you were looking at with the amount of times he’s caught you staring and fantasizing about his hands. Plus, you openly told him that you had a thing for his hands.
A smug smile was seen from Harry, so you took your attention away from him and towards your friends.
“So, what do we say? $50 limit?” Nic suggested, and Elijah rolled his eyes.
“Why are you trying to make me broke? You know I have a huge family, like, 15 cousins!” Elijah debates.
Nic gasped dramatically. “I’m offended you don’t consider us family, Eli!” Elijah playfully rolls his eyes again, turning his head to the side as he smiled into his shoulder, blushing a bit.
You chuckled at their playful banter. You’re a bit surprised they hadn’t gotten together yet because ever since you met them, you could practically feel the tension between them. They were just too stubborn to admit that they liked each other.
“Okay, how about we make it maximum $30?” Harry pitched in. Your eyes had immediately averted to him, and it was like he captured you just by the sound of his voice. “We have exactly six days to get our gifts,” he added. Your friend group has always been one for procrastinating. Everyone is so busy these days that it gets harder to plan hangouts where the entire group could go, but you were all family, so if the gatherings were at three in the morning, everyone would be there.
The group agreed, telling him that was a solid number. You caught Harry’s eye and he softly smiled at you. Giving him one back, you suddenly felt nervous as he smiled, so you chugged the rest of your wine and walked to the kitchen to open a new bottle to bring to the living area.
The bottle made a loud pop sound, which earned an in sync ‘Woo!’ from the group as it was a tradition you all created whenever a new bottle of wine was being opened. Smiling to yourself, you poured yourself a glass before downing it. As you were doing so, Harry walked into the kitchen with his own glass in his hand.
“Hogging all the wine, aren’t you, Y/N?” He teased to clear the awkward and anxious tension between you two, and luckily, you stifled out a giggle.
“You know me and my wine.” You refilled his empty glass while taking a sip of yours. Once you fill it halfway, he clinked your glasses together before taking a sip. His lips meeting the sweet but bitter taste of red wine that you so wished was your lips. The way he curled his lips into his mouth and licking his lips, tasting the flavor had you daydreaming such sultry things about his lips.
You cleared your throat, breaking yourself out of your gaze. “How are you, H? How’s work?”
Harry’s cheeks warmed up at the simple nickname. “I’m doing good, yeah. Work is good. The school is great.” This was Harry’s first semester teaching, and he absolutely loved it. He loved being in the classroom setting, interacting and making sure his students understood the material. He wanted to teach elementary kids, but that would require knowing various subjects when he wanted to focus more on ninth grade English.
“I’m happy for you,” you confessed. You were happy for him, but you wanted to be happy with him. “I know you’re a great teacher, and your students must love you.” You bumped him with your hip gently.
“They’re great. A couple of them have this weird crush on me for some reason.”
“I mean how could they not.” You realized you said that out loud, and you’re fully blaming the alcohol and the few glasses of wine that you already had, leaving you with a rosy cheek tint glow. Harry didn’t say anything but smug as he continued to sip on his drink. You slipped past him to join your friends, and Harry followed. Addie gave you a knowing look, hoping to communicate with just her eyes as she saw you and Harry walk out of the kitchen together, and you simply nodded, gesturing that you were okay.
The rest of the night went by quite fun as the boys helped Addie hang up the rest of her decorations while scoffing and rolling her eyes because they weren’t cooperating. You and Nic were sitting on the floor watching and laughed, pouring yourselves more glasses of wine. Your heart skipped a few beats as you watched Harry the entire time, laughing and smiling, and sometimes looking over at you just to get a simple glance at your face to suffice his heart from the heartache of not being able to hold or kiss you.
You’ve always liked shopping alone. Shopping with Nic and Addie could be stressful, no matter how much you loved them. You would only go to the shoppes with them if you weren’t looking for anything to buy, but since you were Christmas shopping and the stores were getting busier counting down to Christmas day, you had passed on their invitation to shop with them. There was nobody bugging or nagging you, causing you to get distracted; just you, a basketful of snacks, and Christmas music playing through your headphones.
You couldn’t wait to give your Secret Santa gift because you’ve put a lot of thought into it ever since you found out who your receiver was. You’ve been doing Secret Santa with your friends since the third year of college. At first, your friends group was only you, Nic, Addie, and Niall—you’ve known Niall since you were sixteen, and you met the girls your first year of uni—until Nic met Elijah during the second semester of junior year, who was quickly accepted, and then you met Harry.
You’ve all become a close knit of friends, and each and every single one of you have met other people, but there was nothing like this group. With bonding and connecting so well, all you needed was each other, and you couldn’t be more grateful.
As you were looking at the collection of whiskey, you felt a body brush passed you, slightly bumping into you as they tried getting through the narrow aisle. You jolted forward a tad bit, making you take a step forward to let the person behind you pass through.
“So sorry,” the familiar voice said. The music playing through your headphones was not even halfway up since you still wanted to be aware of your surroundings, but you could recognize that voice anywhere.
Turning around to look at the person behind you, sure enough, it was the one and only.
“Harry?” You called out, taking out your headphones. He turned around, and once he saw you, he immediately smiled.
“H-Hi. I didn’t expect to see you,” he nervously blurted out a false statement. He knew that this was your go to store and you would always drag him there because they always had your favorite snacks in stock.
You chuckled. “Yeah, I didn’t expect to see you here either.” Unlike his statement, yours was true. When you were with him, he would always ask you why you couldn’t stop at any of the other shops because this one was on the other side of where you lived. But you simply told him that it was because you would feel like you would be cheating on this store with the others because this was your go-to place, and the employees here were just lovely.
“Shopping for yourself?” Harry asked.
You looked down at your basket. “Oh, no. For my Secret Santa. What about you? What are you doing here?”
“I, uh, I was on this side of town and,” he turned around to face the wine section before grabbing a bottle of Pinot Noir. “Just needed to get this,” he said as he held it up.
“Night in?”
“Hmm, yeah,” he nodded.
“With…someone, or?” You tried your best to not show your anxiousness when you asked him if he was having a night in with someone that’s not you.
Harry’s eyes widened and he shook his head. “No, no. Not with anyone…” Your shoulders relaxed and a small smile appeared on your face. You slightly nodded your head, containing your relief. “You look great!” He complimented. You were wearing your work attire; a black pencil skirt with a white silk, semi turtleneck long sleeve, and a black coat thrown over. You were also in nude heels, which weren’t the best to shop in, but you had forgotten to bring a change of shoes.
You blushed. “Thank you. I came here straight from work.” Harry’s brows raised. You were always one for a sense of style, so he wasn’t surprised that you would look this good going to work.
“Really? How is work going, by the way?”
“Good, actually. I’m still interning at the law firm, so I’m pretty busy. But overall it’s great! A lot of research, mock cases, and sometimes the interns get to sit and watch in the courtroom. It’s pretty thrilling,” you said excitedly. Harry smiled, missing how you would explain things so eagerly. “This is my last year interning, so hopefully I could work at the law firm I’m already interning at, and become a permanent lawyer there.”
“I’m sure they’d love to have you there. You’re great, really. They’d be stupid to let you go…” he trailed off. There was a double meaning to his words, and you were wondering if Harry thought he was dumb enough to let you go. Not wanting to dwell on his words any longer, you murmured a soft ‘Thanks’ to him and smiled. Harry nodded, mentally beating himself up over his words and how he was really the stupid one to let you go.
“I, uh, should go, or my sister will be suspicious,” you chuckled. “I hope you have a great night, Harry.” You grabbed a bottle of whiskey before walking passed him. You weren’t even done shopping, but you couldn’t be in the same room as him without thinking of the memories that had always lingered, making you nostalgic and sad because you don’t know if you would be able to make more memories with him.
Harry was left alone in the aisle as he watched you walk over to the register to pay for your items. Just when you were done, you looked up, giving him a soft smile and waving at him before you turned around and walked out of the store. Harry’s heart fluttered, but at the same time, it was pounding through his chest. He mentally cursed himself for being so nervous around you, making an awkward tension fill the air. He couldn’t tell you what you were really doing at your store--no, he couldn’t.
Because what would you say if he told you that he’s been going to your store ever since you two broke up and whenever he’s in town just because it reminded him of you. The four walls somewhat mended his broken heart as he felt comfort inside of the shop because some of his best memories of you are in this very store. And since he couldn’t step into your apartment to immediately feel at home, your favorite store would have to do…for now.
Right when you entered Addie’s home, you were met with the loud music of the holiday season, along with Addie, Nic, and Elijah singing the lyrics to one another as they jumped and danced with a glass of their preferred alcohol in their hand.
They hadn’t heard the door open since the music was quite loud, so you took the opportunity to take a quick video of them as you smiled at your lovely friends, who felt so careless at the moment. Once the song ended, you put your phone away, and Eli was the one who spotted you first.
“Ah, there she is!” He walked over to you, giving you a big hug. You giggled as he slightly picked you up from the ground and twirling you. You were sure that he was already buzzed, and you were wondering how many glasses he’s had already, or if he pregamed by himself to calm himself down for talking to Nic, just like you had done to prepare you for a night with Harry, which you hadn’t done tonight.
There was a part of you that wanted to take a shot or two to ease your nerves, but you realized that you needed to stop doing that because as far as you know, you and Harry are most likely going to be friends for a long time. So, drinking almost every week did not sound fun to you.
Nic poured you a glass of wine, clinking your glasses together as you took your first sip of alcohol that night. You helped Addie set up the food onto the table along with some Christmas designed plates and utensils. Just as you were counting the utensils, you heard a loud Santa laugh coming from Niall, making everyone turn their heads towards the door. Niall walked in, carrying a bag-full of presents and Harry followed with a three foil wrapped aluminum trays in his hands as he chuckled at Niall’s way of making himself known. Your face immediately heated up at the sight of your ex-boyfriend because he looked good.
Although you loved every version of Harry, there was something about Harry Styles in the snowy winter that made your knees weak. He was bundled up in a sweater with a coat tossed over, and he wore boots. His hair was slightly messy from the wind as he shook off the snow that had fallen onto his locks. His nose was always red too, and when he would press a kiss to your cheek, you would feel the icy cold tip of his nose, contrasting to your warm cheeks. And it’s a tragedy that you’ve never spent a winter season with him when you were together, only two Christmases after the breakup.
Winter Harry was your favorite, and all you wanted to do was snuggle up with him.
Niall and Harry made their rounds to greet everyone, and Harry would always make sure you were the last one he greeted, just so he could hold and hug you a little longer.
“Merry Christmas Eve, Eve,” you said once he got to you. He smiled and chuckled, wrapping his arms around your shoulders. You laid your head against his chest, taking in his scent and natural warmth, even though he just came from the cold. “What’d you bring?” You asked once you pulled away.
“I brought the cheesy garlic bread, brussel sprouts, and crab cakes,” he smiled.
You gasped. “Your specialty. My mouth is already watering.”’ You clapped your hands in excitement.
Harry giggled, leaning against the kitchen countertop. “Sure is, and it’s some of your favorite dishes of mine too,” he remembered. You blushed, heart fluttering as he didn’t forget your favorite foods.
Harry was always a chef of his own; he loved cooking. Learning from Anne, he made it his mission to make his own homemade food after he moved out, and she would always tell him that you could always show your love through food. From there, he learned more about cooking and seemed to love everything about it. Whenever the group has gatherings for special occasions and everyone agrees for a potluck, Harry always made sure to talk to everyone and see what they wanted him to cook.
When you two were together, he did the majority of the cooking. There would be times when you wanted to help, but he would simply tell you that you needed to let him do it and relax. That was something you loved about him—he was always a giver and didn’t expect to receive anything back, in more than one way.
You and Harry were definitely ones for staying in, and he would always whip up the best food that was filled with so much love and flavor.
“Once you two are done loving over there, we’d like some help over here!” Niall called out from the dining area. Your eyes widened as Harry’s cheeks turned pink. Harry held his arm out, gesturing you to go first, and you walked out of the kitchen as he followed behind you.
The group’s attention and eyes were on you and Harry, and your brows furrowed as you mouthed a ‘What?’ at them, and they instantly went back to setting up the food as if nothing happened. You turned around to look at Harry confusingly and he shrugged his shoulders, just as confused.
The music was playing, the decorations were lit up, and the food was settling into everyone’s stomach, followed by drinks as a warm feeling laid over everyone. It was overall a great time with them as it always was, and since Christmas was coming up in just two days, the merry feeling was always everyone’s moods.
As everyone was laughing and having a great time, Addie had gotten a knock from her neighbor, asking if everyone could keep the volume down. Everyone was holding in their laugh because you all hadn’t realized how loud you’ve gotten.
“I’m pretty sure they knew it was going to be a long night when it was just the three of them dancing and screaming,” you pointed out to Addie, Nic, and Elijah, and they all laughed, agreeing.
“Wait, what?” Niall asked confusingly.
“Right when I walked in, they were screaming at the top of their lungs. Wait, I have a video.” You pulled your phone out of the front pocket of your sweater and showed Niall the twenty second video.
He cackled. “Hey, thanks for waiting for us,” he teased, giving your phone back to you.
You leaned back onto Harry’s leg, since you were sitting on the floor and he was sitting on the chair behind you, and you looked up at him to show him the video. He leaned forward, placing his forearms on his thighs as you shifted closer to him so you were sitting in between his legs. Harry’s lips curled into his mouth, and he was grateful that you weren’t facing him because he was flustered. You pressed play, and he watched as he chuckled, watching his friends have a good time.
“Wait, I also wanted to show you this video,” you mentioned once the video was over. You scrolled through your pictures, and Harry was watching you go through your camera roll. He saw pictures of buildings, food, you and the girls, and some of them were just of you. Before he could really think about your own pictures, you found the video of your family dog and showed Harry.
As you and Harry were watching the video, your four other friends were eyeing you two and whispering things to each other suspiciously. Nic took a few pictures of the moment because the sight was just so cute, but everyone was wondering when you two were getting back together.
And you were wondering the same.
For a few minutes, you and Harry were in your own little world as you two talked about your family; never making the effort to change the position you were in--you had just turned your body so you could see him better. You’ve missed times like these where everything else, outside of the bubble you two created, didn’t seem to matter. The way his eyes gleamed when he talked to you had lulled you in, making you depart from every thought you were trying to create while the only thought that dawdled was Harry.
“Alright, let’s pass out our Secret Santa gifts before we’re all too drunk,” Niall suggested, popping yours and Harry’s bubble. You moved out of between Harry’s legs to sit beside him where you were before. You looked up at him, softly smiling and he gave you one back. His eyes looked like they wanted to say something, and you so badly wanted to crawl into his mind to know what he was thinking.
Everyone agreed, getting up to grab their gifts. Addie also grabbed the Santa hat that you had to wear if it was your turn to pass out your gift. The Santa hat had been through four Christamases with the group, and it was the little things that made you happy.
Addie decides to go first since she was the host. She put the Santa hat on before she started. “First one! My Secret Santa is…Elijah!” She walked over to him, giving him her gift as he smiled, thanking her. He opened her gift and gasped as it was a new headset for his PlayStation since he was always talking about how one side was completely dead. Addie placed the hat onto his head as he grabbed his gift.
“So, this one is for…” he smiled before walking over to the other end of the couch. “Nic.” Her eyes widened, taking the gift from his hands, and he took a seat next to her on the floor. She ripped open the wrapping paper before she paused, looking back at him. It was a large rectangle frame of pictures of her and Eli with a note in the middle saying ‘4 years as best friends, countless laughs, and one question unasked. Will you go on a date with me?’ Nic squealed, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. It was like he was proposing to her because she screamed out a loud yes. “Life is too damn short. I can’t wait to go another day without calling you my girl, so I wanted to take my chances,” he told her. You smiled at them, realizing it’s been too long, and you were so happy for them.
It was Nic’s turn, which she completely forgot about because she was so overjoyed, and she walked up to Harry to give him her gift. He thanked her before opening it, receiving a set of nail polish, a few face masks, a vanilla candle, and a gift card to one of his favorite restaurants.
Harry was up, and he was a bit nervous for this one. You knew that it could either be you, Niall, or Addie since you were the three left without gifts. He stood in front of the fireplace as everyone looked at him. You thought he looked absolutely adorable in that Santa hat, which you think every single year. He slowly walked over to Niall, making him beam, but turned around and walked over to you, earning a ‘Hey!’ from Niall.
“Merry Christmas Eve, Eve,” Harry greeted you, handing you your gift. You smiled brightly, grabbing the box. It was a quite heavy box with brown wrapping paper with reindeers on it and a large red bow. “I wrapped it myself,” he smirked, playfully flipping his shirt hair, and you giggled.
You ripped the paper and opened the box, eyes softening. In the box, there was a graphic tee, your —and his—favorite fresh perfume by Jo Malone, five pens with your first and last name engraved in the middle, a Cravings cookbook from Chrissy Teigen and a yellow and white vertical striped apron with the words ‘Summer Lovin’ with a sun embroidered at the top. Your eyes watered at the words at the special but emotional meaning behind it.
Two months before you and Harry broke up, you knew it was the end. You both agreed that you would spend two months together before you had to part ways with one another. It was the most special and fun summer you ever had, but emotionally, it was the worst. Knowing that you weren’t going to be together anymore by the end of it was behind the facade of the endless laughter and love. You really didn’t want it to be over, but you understood and needed to grow separately and blossom with your careers.
The words behind the embroidered apron was from one summer night. You and Harry had a bonfire at the beach, and you were cuddled up with him as he held a blanket around the both of you. You had tequila disguised like water as you held your bottle up to the best summer loving. You wished the circumstances were different, but if it’s meant to be, then he’ll come back to you.
“You’ve always wanted to learn how to cook and I’ve seen that you’re starting to on your Instagram stories, so I thought these were the perfect things to get you so you could be a proper chef now,” he said with a soft smile.
Harry truly paid attention to the small details of your life. Together or not, he intently listened and observed without anyone knowing. He nailed it down to the small details; from the perfume, the pens, and the apron. The sentiment behind it was what made the gift so special, and the person who gifted it to you completed and made it so much better.
As your vision had gone glassy, you sat on your knees, reaching up at Harry for a hug. He bent down to your eye level, sitting on his knees as well as he wrapped his arms around your shoulders. You held him tightly, sniffling into his shoulder as a rush of overwhelming emotions hit you. Your heart fluttered and pounded at the same time—a feeling that was familiar to your body when it came to Harry.
“Thank you so much. This is the most thoughtful gift ever,” you said into his shoulder. This gift was number two on the list of gifts you’ve received from him, following Harry himself as your number one, of course.
Harry pulled his head back slightly to press a kiss to the side of your head. The gesture had made your heart swoon and you smiled against his shoulder. Everyone was watching you two interact, and they all thought this was finally the moment where you two would get back together again. They’ve all seen you two suffer enough being without each other, along with the heavy tension that there was. All they wanted was for you both to be happy.
You pulled away from him, looking up at his green eyes as they stared into you. He offered you a small smile that took your breath away before he wrapped one arm around your shoulder, bringing you into his side as he wasn’t quite done holding you.
After a few minutes, your friends had let you have your moment before Niall complained how he didn’t have a gift yet. You and Harry chuckled, letting go of one another, and he placed the Santa hat onto your head before you slowly started walking over to Niall. When you handed him his gift, he cheered happily before opening it. You had given him several customized guitar pics with his initials printed onto them, a leather notebook since he liked to write songs, and Proper 12 Irish Whiskey, which was fitting because he’s Irish and he likes Connor McGregor. He thanked you with a big hug, picking you up off the ground with one arm as he held the alcohol bottle in the other.
Addie was the last one who hadn’t received a gift, and Niall was her Secret Santa. He gave her a bunch of makeup with your help, and a tupperware set, which she had been asking for since everyone always took her containers because she liked hosting so many parties.
The rest of the night had gone on for a few more hours before everyone was pretty tired, deciding to call it a night. Everyone helped clean up, making sure to help Addie with the dishes and putting or throwing stuff away. Although you were cleaning, you loved your entire group. This was your family--the closest people to you. The ones who know everything about you and would laugh at you when you fall before falling with you. You were entirely grateful for everyone in this room, and you couldn’t have asked for a better group to spend more holidays and days with.
After the cleaning was done, Niall and Eli started to head out, not before Eli was satisfied with the amount of goodbyes he gave Nic with how long the hug was. Niall had to physically pull him off, telling him the Uber was outside.
You were washing your hands before Harry walked over next to you, handing you a towel to dry off your hands. “Thank you,” you muttered, shyly smiling.
“Uh, I wanted to ask if you wanted to come over?” He proposed. Your brows raised at his question. You and the girls had planned on having a sleepover after, but the prospect of going home with Harry had sounded much better (no offense to your friends).
“I was planning to sleepover here…” you decided to innocently tease, even though you knew you were going to say yes.
“I already asked them, and they said I could take you. I could drop you back off here if you want. So, the answer is up to you,” he smirked. A blush appeared onto your cheeks, admiring the fact that he asked your friends for permission if he could take you home.
“There’s bound to be talk tomorrow,” you teased, lightly nudging him.
“I’ll take my chances,” he smiled, a hopeful look presented on his face.
You breathed out a chuckle, looking at him for a moment before you nodded. “Yeah. Let’s go.” Harry’s eyes widened as the corners of his lips turned up. You grabbed your phone and your coat before walking over to Addie and Nic who were both cuddled up on the couch, saying goodbye to them. They sent you a playful wink, and you rolled your eyes as nerves startled to settle in your stomach.
You followed Harry out of the door, the cold air brisking past you as you walked to his car. He opened the passenger and you thanked him before getting in. Harry started the car and the song that was playing was ‘Baby, It’s Cold Outside.’ It was a song you loved ever since you were a little girl, and you remembered the times you and your mom would always sing it in the car. You smiled at the memory, humming as you hoped it would be a way to distract you from the anxious feeling that you have.
You started humming to the tune as quietly as you possibly could, but Harry heard it as he started to hum it as well. You looked at him through your peripheral vision, noticing that he started to tap his fingers against the steering wheel.
You were about to start singing until you noticed that he pulled into his driveway, so you contained yourself and closed your coat, getting out of the car as you followed him into his home. You’ve only been inside his home three times--those three times being when he would suggest everyone hang out there. It was a lovely place and whenever you were sitting on his couch, you had wished you shared the space with him.
Harry lit up the fireplace, placing the metal shield in front of it before turning back towards you and smiling. “Make yourself comfortable. I’m just going to get us some hot chocolate, if that’s alright?” He asked, wanting to know your preferred drink.
“Sound good.” You hung your coat onto the coat rack before walking over to his turquoise velvet couch and taking a seat, getting comfortable to an extent, not knowing how comfortable you should get.
Not long after, Harry came back with a wooden tray, and he placed it on the coffee table in front of you. There were two mugs filled with milk, two hot chocolate kits, and spoons.
“I made these for my students, and I just so happened to have two extra kits, so this will be fun,” he smiled, and you gave him one back appreciatively. You thought that it was cute and sweet of him to give something to his students for the holiday season. Normally, teachers don’t give them anything, but Harry wasn’t just any other teacher.
A somewhat comfortable silence fell over you two as you both made your own hot chocolate, and you listened to the fireplace roar. Once you two were done, you clicked your glasses together before taking a sip. The warm and comforting drink made you smile and was overall delicious.
Harry didn’t know what to say or how to say what he really wanted to say. It felt like he had non stop thoughts running through his head, but when he opened his mouth to start, there was a delay. An overwhelming feeling took over him and he wanted to yell at himself for not saying how he really felt.
“Y/N-”
“Harry.”
Just like before, your minds had been in sync, causing you both to speak at the same time. A light laugh came out of both of your mouths.
“You go first,” you told him.
Harry took a deep breath. “How’re you doing?” He asked. Out of everything he could have said, that was the only question that came out of his mouth, but he figured it’s a good start to getting somewhere.
“Truthfully?” He nodded. “I’m doing okay. I’ve managed to distract myself from worrying about the future with work, and so far, it’s been helping.”
“What are you worried about?” Harry wondered curiously. He could feel his heart pounding through his chest, and if he’s being honest, it’s been that way the first time he saw you…ever.
“Worried if I’m gonna be where I want to be career wise, and…” you trailed off.
“And what?” He encouraged you to continue. His stare was so intimidating and deep that the words flew off your tongue, making them unforgettable. “Ba--Y/N?” He called out for you, noticing how he almost slipped up and called you ‘baby,’ and you so wished he hadn’t stopped himself.
You finally mustered up the courage to speak your thoughts. “I’m afraid that I’m gonna be alone,” you said honestly.
Harry’s brows furrowed, shaking his head instantly. “You’re not alone, no. You have your family, all of us--your friends, me-”
“You?” Your brows raised.
“Yeah-”
“Harry, you’re the reason why I’m so worried…” you confessed. You were starting to get frustrated--not at Harry, but at yourself because you had planned to have this conversation a different day. You tried to calm yourself down, and Harry could practically see that you were getting angry at yourself. You had a certain stressful and frustrated look that he would notice when you started to beat yourself up over things. And throughout the months of being with you, especially when you were in the midst of law school, he learned how to calm you down.
Harry placed his hand on your knee; the touch being unexpected to you, but it had brought you immediate comfort. He pulled you into his side and you rested your head on his shoulder, looping your arm under his, the one that’s on your leg, and hugged his arm. Harry’s other hand touched your arm, caressing and soothing you. His actions had felt very natural and familiar to him. He would comfort you like this when you were feeling stressed. Normally, he wanted to cuddle you tightly, but this was your preferred way to calm down because in a way, he was still holding you, and you were still in control and didn’t feel like you were suffocating if he had held you tightly.
You stayed like that for a few moments, and you had calmed down a bit already, but you just wanted to be close to him and cherish the moment.
After a few minutes, you pulled away and turned towards him, smiling softly. Your heart warmed at the fact that he remembered exactly what to do when you started to feel anxious, and you may have fallen in love with him even more…after all these years.
“Now, wanna tell me why you’re so worried?” He asked softly, not wanting his tone to be pressuring, and you’re grateful for it.
“I’m worried I’m going to have to live a life without you. It terrifies me to think about you going out and meeting someone, and I would have to watch you get married to someone else that’s not me. That you would be sharing this home with someone that’s not me.” Your eyes start to water, and you had mentally told yourself that you wouldn’t cry, but you didn’t believe yourself in the slightest. “Watching you love someone else is going to be the most difficult thing I would have to do.”
Your tears had fully fallen down your face, which is unfortunate because you both had such a good day with your friends and it was nearly Christmas. Quickly wiping your tears away, you got up from the couch, and headed towards the door. Harry was confused until he saw you grab your coat, putting it on. In a flash, Harry got up from the couch, walking towards you.
“W-What are you doing?” He asked.
“I really can’t stay…” you told him sadly. You had no idea how you were getting home or back to Addie’s since it’s snowing, so you don’t know if there were any Ubers out, especially at this time. “This evening has been…so very nice, Harry.”
“You don’t have to leave. Baby, it’s cold outside, c’mon,” he pleaded with worried eyes. Your heart melted at his words and the name that he used to call you, making you pause in your movement.
“Please,” he pleaded softly, taking a small step forward, and your breath hitched in your throat as you looked up at him. There was a dead silence between you two that was tension filled, and you had no clue what was going to happen next until he opened his mouth.
“Mind if I move in closer?” He whispered. The sound would barely be audible if anyone else was there, so he said those words specifically for you to hear.
You shook your head, and he took another step forward. Your bodies were a centimeter away from being pressed up against one another, and your heart was beating so fast, making your hands shake and tremble. He looked down at you so intently that you were under his spell, and you were conflicted as you wish you knew how to break the spell as his green eyes looked deep into you, luring you in even more.
You took a deep breath. “Kiss me already,” you breathed out. Harry’s heart nearly stopped at your words, but he slightly smirked as he blushed, brushing your hair behind your ears before taking your face into your hands and leaning down to place a deep and passionate kiss onto your lips.
This feeling, this touch, this man was what you’ve been waiting for these past two years. Throughout those years, you felt like giving up; accepting the fact that he wasn’t going to love you again. But he had proved you wrong in the simple brush of his lips and tongue that were in sync with yours, making the spark between you grow bigger and bigger. The spark that had never lost its power, but was on pause.
You grabbed a fistful of his shirt, pulling him closer as the other hand was wrapped around his back. Harry had you pushed up against his front door, and you had the urge to lift your leg up to wrap it around him, but you resisted.
Harry wanted more, too. His hands trailed down from your face to your back, closing the nonexistent proximity between you, and guided you back to the couch. You were walking backwards, completely trusting him that he wouldn’t let you fall as his lips never left yours.
You giggled once the back of your legs hit the couch, falling onto the soft material as Harry hovered over you, laying in between your legs. He looked at you for a moment, studying every freckle, the crimson color on your cheeks, the curve when you smile, your glimmering eyes, and your cute nose. He knew that it was exactly how he remembered. After a couple of years being separated, a beautiful face like yours was hard to forget.
“You’re quite crazy to think I’d want to live the rest of my life with someone else when you’re right in front of me,” he suddenly said. Your eyes widened at his confession. “Never wanna be without you ever again. Thought you didn’t want to be with me when I came back, so I just didn’t bother. But you have no idea how much I missed you. I missed you so much.”
He placed soft kisses all around your face as he spoke, leaving you feeling so tender and soft as he was so gentle with you. For someone who’s on her way to becoming a lawyer and always having to have an answer for everything, you were speechless. The words that you’ve been waiting for for so long were music to your ears. It rolled off his tongue so smoothly, slick like honey, and you connected your lips with his again, swirling your tongue against his as you devoured his words. Hands finding their way to his hair, you gripped on his locks and pulled just the way he liked it, earning a groan from him, and you smirked against his mouth.
You pulled back, leaving him breathless. Swollen lips, blushed cheeks, and smiles plastered on his face, you said the words you’ve been itching to say. “I love you,” you blurted out. The words had rolled off your tongue so effortlessly, making shivers run down Harry’s spine as his eyes watered up. “I was listening to Elijah earlier, and he’s right. Life’s too fucking short to not have what you want.”
He took one of your hands into his, bringing it up to his lips before placing a kiss onto the back of your hand. Your other hand was playing with the curls that laid delicately on his hands, scratching it lightly.
“Missed hearing you say those words.” He smiled, tears making their way down his face. “I love you too. So, so much that you have no idea how I feel when you walk into the room and I see your beautiful face. I love you. I love you. I love you, baby.” His affirmations had caused you to softly sob—the two of you a crying mess from the obvious but unspoken love that was finally being released again. “It’s always been you. You’ve always been my girl, did you know that?” You tilted your head a bit. “Never gonna go a day without reminding you that you are, because you’ve never not been my girl. Had to love and admire you from afar, but just wanted to hold you and kiss you.”
“You can kiss and hold me all you want now, my love,” you reassured him, and he dug his face into your neck, placing a soft kiss against your skin.
You smiled so brightly as your heart felt so happy and overflowed with love, and he matched your grin, feeling the same way.
The two of you kissed each other for a bit more, whispering sweet words, and laughed and talked about anything and everything—truly catching up with one another.
“Oh.” He got off of you, making you slightly pout from the weight of laying on you that you already missed. “I actually got you another gift.”
“Harry…you already got me enough.” It was true. Along with the thoughtful gift, he was your true Christmas miracle.
“I know. But this one, I wanted to give to you in private, and this is the perfect moment, so let me do this?” He looked at you with sweet and pleading eyes with a small smile on his face. Who could ever say no to that adorable face? Certainly not you.
You nodded, and he shot up, heading towards the stairs. “Give me thirty seconds,” he said before rushing up the stairs.
You heard him shuffling up there, and the sound of a drawer opening and closing. Thirty seconds later, he was walking downstairs, holding a white box wrapped in a red bow. He sat back down next to you, looking into your eyes as he spoke.
“This is what I wanted to give you when we were alone. It didn’t matter the outcome of how things turned out between us tonight, I just wanted to give you this because I think you’ll appreciate it. It reminded me of you when I saw it, and I knew I had to get it.” He handed you the box with slightly shaky hands.
You untied the bow, taking the top off. A gasp came from your mouth as you picked up the chain. It was a little gold sun pendant, symbolizing your summer together. You studied the charm for a moment, delicately touching it as you teared up at the meaning behind it. It matched quite well with your embroidered apron, and the two together would be quite the match.
“Thank you, Harry. This is so sweet of you.” You leaned forward, giving him a hasty kiss to his lips, smiling against them. “Help me put it on?” He nodded eagerly. You handed him the necklace before turning around, lifting your hair. You felt the cool metal chain hit your skin along with Harry’s lingering touches across your shoulders, causing your skin to pebble. He placed a quick kiss to your neck before pulling away. You turned around to meet his eyes as you smiled.
“Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.” He kissed your forehead. “I’m so happy. Merry Christmas Eve, Eve, baby.”
“Merry Christmas Eve, Eve, my love.”
You cuddled into his side as the silence took over. The only thing was heard was the pounding of your love-filled hearts along with the cracking of the fire. Sure, it was cold outside, but right here in Harry’s arms, you were warmer than ever.
please come into my inbox and talk about your thoughts and feelings on this! also feedback is appreciated, thank you for reading! <3
#GBSxmaschallenge#harry styles angst#harry styles fluff#boyfriend!harry#harry styles smut#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles fanfic#harry styles one shot#harry styles writing#harry styles imagine#harry styles dirty one shot#harry styles x you#harry styles x reader#harry styles x y/n#harry styles x yn#harry styles au#harry#harry styles
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hey!! I’m not sure if your inbox is still open but I thought I’d send this just in case! what would you think abt a dark!peter who’s obsessed w s/o and offers to have her stay with him during like the stay-at-home pet of covid so she’s not alone then when it’s lifted he’s like lol you’re not leaving. sorry that’s kinda long and super specific. i absolutely love your writing though!!💗
Jamie All Over
words: 2,040 (no, i should be sorry bc this was chaotic)
tags: didn’t expect it to be this LONG, manipulative!peter parker, grooming, overprotectiveness, slight mentions of sex, don’t expect too much lmao its a headcanon
a/n: hi babe! i wasn’t entirely sure if you wanted this as a one shot (but if u do let me know!)
so you’re pretty unaware of every move peter is trying to do with you, you know? you were not really sure if it was a kind gesture, as the gentleman he seemed to be, or was it just a special treatment
ever since second year and until now as both of you were on your fourth year, he was consistent with his efforts
these moves were moments like when he would carry your books to your next class or confidently invite you to a study ‘date’ at the library after – often times he tells that his friends were invited, but would never show up later on
sometimes he would bring you lunch. you tried to turn it down kindly, but he insists that it was purposely packed as an extra for when he stays late around the university.
it was a lie though. anyone could tell by the way it was prepared looking very appetizing and tasted just as amazing at it was presented.
and as peter had mentioned that he lived alone, you also assumed he was the one to make his meals. you were so sure he doesn’t pack for an extra and intentionally wants to impress you with his skills.
“hey, y/n!,” he calls, “look this eggroll has a cute design!”
he honestly was an epitome of a walking sunshine. his smile seemed so pure and you never felt any ill-intent for every gesture he had done for you
his friends seemed very welcoming the moment he introduced you to his group
you got along with ned who seemed to be just as joyful and funny as peter. meanwhile mj was a bit more of a tough cookie, nevertheless you both eventually got a long better than you expected
however, it came to one point wherein your own group of friends started being disheartened with your lack of communication
“you’ve been spending more time with that parker boy, huh?” “yeah, kinda?” “are you two like... dating?” “oh no! no... no... nooo!”
the moment they frowned at you was then that you realized and felt a little more guilty. you always remembered that friends were supposed to be friends despite the lack of time and effort, right?
somehow you tried to compensate for the lack of time with your friends. but every minute you spend felt more awkward than before
they weren’t sharing the same vibe with you and you were starting to question if it had been always like it – were you only adjusting to them?
you reached out for peter, considering that he became one of the closest and trusted people around the university. plus, he seemed to have genuinely great friends
“do you feel happy when you’re spending time with them?”
��well i used to but recently–”
“then you should stop being friends with them.”
you were upset for a second. the way he instantly told you that cutting ties with them would be the (only) option
he sounded serious on the other end of the line and you were just speechless for a moment. the dead air between lines was evident, but you didn’t know what to say
“sorry,” peter makes up, “i didn’t mean to sound too serious. i just don’t like people who are rude, especially to you.”
“oh, it’s fine. i totally get it.” you felt a batch of butterflies around your stomach. someone actually cared for you!!!
the moment you didn’t hesitate on losing your friendship with your past friends and moved on with joining peter’s group, things felt lighter.
somehow you felt more expressive than you realized. they were open to your ideas and thoughts, just as you were with them. you felt super comfortable and realized that you weren’t holding back on anything anymore
that’s why you had expected your winter break to be better than your past ones
everyone agreed to skate around the ice rink in rockefeller for christmas. along with it, also spending new year’s eve at the time square
news flash: you finally had the cliche new year’s eve kiss, with none other than peter parker!!! hooray!!!
for anyone who had common sense, your feelings for peter had accentuated. you weren’t denying it either, and the boy wasn’t oblivious to it too
he was just so irresistible and kind to you, like, all the time – to surreal, honestly
you felt and KNEW you were spoiled with peter (and his friends, who liked to spend time with you outside too, just not as much as him)
just as you were planning your spring break activities, it had to be postponed for another time
a lockdown had to be implemented around the country as it was under the state of a pandemic
mj and ned told the group that they’ll be with their families since lectures had to be concluded for the mean time
you planned to do the same, but you expected that this situation wouldn’t last long. so you chose to stay in your dorm rather than return to your hometown
completely sucks since you not only don’t get to hang out with your friends, but you weren’t able to see anyone in person...
until you got a text from peter
he was literally inviting you over his apartment since he explained that he wasn’t returning home either
you practically rushed to pack a small amount of clothes for a sleepover whilst not forgetting to wear a mask (bc it’s fucking important ok)
you arrived at his address and a big warm hug ensues
his unit was so tidy and you were convinced he did it to impress you
peter was so happy to see you, acknowledging that you’re also spending a few nights with him
the nights mostly consisted of eating snacks and binge watching movies
however during one of those nights, both of you got a bonus – making out on his couch and further, completely forgetting the television
making out with peter wasn’t awkward at all. most of the time he was the one in control, which you didn’t mind
his hands treated you so gently but the way he teased you made you crave for more than what he was offering
a lot of whining, swearing, and begging – you weren’t aware but he was enjoying it a lot
on his side, he did praise you from time to time, but most of it consisted of raw tension and actions. the room was full of grunts and short breaths
just want to include how sexy peter would be while he moans all over you. like his whole sunshine personality just drained away the moment he places his hands on either sides of your waist
the next day you felt like a princess even though you know it shouldn’t be???
apparently peter prepared breakfast for you and you felt embarrassed walking around his place only in the shirt you wore yesterday and underwear
just when you thought the extra lunch he packs for you was already amazing, the breakfast he prepared whilst being fresh and hot was just incredible
“you really like it?”
“of course! you really have to teach me to cook sometimes”
peter laughs and jokes, “yeah, don’t worry. i feel like we’ve got a lot of time ahead.”
ok fast forward to a few more days when you were beginning to feel like a freeloader. he lets you borrow a few of his clothes as yours were in the laundry
by the time you wanted to stop by your place, peter started to be more... clingy
at first he didn’t want you to go but after a few more debates, he felt defeated and instead insisted on going with you
eventually you caved and let him. it wasn’t that bad either, he talked to you about a lot of things on the way leaving you entertained the whole walk without realizing how far it had been
he helped you ‘pack’ more stuff so you wouldn’t be going back and forth from his place and yours. you felt like you were going out of town for a month with the amount of clothes and products
both of you returned to his place around late afternoon. you felt pretty tired and didn’t hesitate to pass out on the living room couch
when you woke up you sensed that you were in peter’s bedroom, meaning he carried and tucked you during the night
plus! an arm was wrapped around your midriff and you could feel peter’s breathing against your side
you closed your eyes and appreciated the moment. it was cute and made butterflies flutter around your stomach, and you tried not to move much to not wake him up
anyways apparently the pandemic lasted longer, and more serious, than expected (fuck the government and their incompetency)
you spent more time with peter and was thankful that you didn’t spend this quarantine alone
within a blink of an eye, a month and a half already had passed. you couldn’t deny that most, or all, days have been unproductive
eat, cook, watch tv, cuddle, fuck, repeatedly get spoiled??? yeah sounds like the dream
weird though because you haven’t completely brought up to peter if you’re actually in a relationship with him. oh no were you just friends with (a lot) of benefits??
but you also felt like it wasn’t the time to bring it up. neither of you were saying anything so it was best to let it be for the fear that things might go downhill from there
anyways this continued for more weeks, especially since the ‘stay-at-home’ policy was deemed necessary
you started to help him do errands around the apartment just to feel like you weren’t an actual freeloader – but it wasn’t a surprise when he kept insisting that you should relax
more cute moments
more sexy times
and more cuddles during night (peter’s grip became tighter every night, but you shrugged it off assuming that it was just you getting homesick and overthinking)
ok but when you brought up being homesick and mentioned that you planned peter wasn’t entirely happy about it
the way he acted wasn’t just clingy. he insisted that he’d be the one to go and that you were staying
“ok but i’m not a dog, peter?” “i know, honey, but it’s too dangerous outside. i wouldn’t want you to be at risk.” “i wear a mask?? i follow health protocols?? i’ll be fine??” “you don’t understand–”
oh god he was becoming controlling
you tried not to argue anymore, rather ignoring and pushing past him to proceed to the door
and peter instinctively wrapped an arm around your waist and prevented you from walking further
there was a lot of struggling, but you didn’t know he was this strong. literally what the hell.
you tried to scream too but he pretty much threatened you to your core
“let’s talk this out,” he grunts as he secures his grip around you
“the hell? let me go!”
things got more complicated. he did convince you to talk with him (by means of tying your arms and legs to incapacitate you from running and righting)
it was a nightmare. he was really soft and sweet with you, even getting teary eyed after stating, “i only want what’s best for you... for us”
however you could sense the manipulativeness through it despite being making everything else look convincing
“trust me, sweetie, i wouldn’t want to hurt you. it would crush me” “please don’t cry. i’m only protecting you” “people are disgusting, they don’t deserve an angel like you” “don’t worry, i can protect you”
it terrified you to your nerves, sending shivers across your spine
at first you didn’t realize it, but eventually after days of being trapped, you figured he had been grooming you the whole time
he tried to make you dependent of him and somehow he did a fine job. just not enough to completely exploit you
though, it made you question what would have been better in your situation: being conscious of his sly nature with the hope of escaping or being unaware and completely wrapped around his finger whereas letting him continue how greatly he had been caring for you?
#dark!peter parker#dark!peter parker headcanon#dark!peter parker x reader#dark!peter parker imagine#dark!peter parker smut#dark!peter#dark peter parker#dark peter parker imagine#dark peter parker smut#dark!peter x reader#dark peter parker x reader#peter parker imagine#peter parker smut#peter parker headcanon#spiderman imagine#spiderman smut#spiderman headcanon#spiderman x reader#tom holland x reader#tom holland imagine#tom holland smut
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Home(coming) to... You?
modern!newt x fem!reader
requested by @hoziersleftnipple
a/n: I AM MISSING MY FIRST HOMECOMING DANCE THIS YEAR NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! i was actually going to ask k out this year but you know... stuff happened so i didn't. anyways, this is based off of something my mom apparently did when she was in high school, so yay!!! i hope this was okay! requests (other than this) are still closed. sorry!! (happy holidays tho!) - also, i'm sorry but this is a lil a n g s t y ... oops. ;)
Newt was so desperately in love with you, it was insane!
You didn't know this, of course, but your friends sure did. His friends did, too. And, well, basically the entire school had figured it out by now (minus you, of course).
So yeah, they all knew to say no. They all had been warned more than a few times that Minho would hunt them down if they dared to ask you to homecoming before Newt. They knew it and he knew that they knew it.
And they all knew to not say anything when you climbed on top of one of the lunch tables and screamed "HEY! Any of you losers want to take me to homecoming?!".
But... someone apparently didn't get it.
(Or maybe he just didn't care.
I mean, he was taller than Newt and stronger than Minho. He was faster than Thomas, too! Minho's threats were like that of a chihuahua - all talk and no walk.)
Ari saw Newt freeze in his place and took it as a chance to get you because it's free country, right? You're your own woman! You can go with Ari if you want! Newt isn't in charge of you!!
And so yeah, you said "yes" to Ari that day, because hey, at least you've got a date!
And yeah, you gushed to Newt about it, too. All day and all night.
And also, no, you didn't see how forced his smile was (for once) and you didn't worry about him all much because you've got a date!
At least until now.
Within seconds you pulled Newt out of the hallway and into the janitor's closet. Your hand covered his mouth to suppress his possible (and very girly) screams and the fear in his eyes almost made you feel bad for scaring him.
Almost.
"Why are you avoiding me?" You accused. Yep, right. Getting straight to the point. No hesitation in this house...
"A - what?" Newt asked. His breath was minty, surprisingly. Fresh and warm and -
What?! Ew!
You shook your head, "Why are you avoiding me?" You asked again, because duh.
"I haven't been av-"
"Do you think I'm stupid, Newt? I know when something's up with you so talk!" You said. Then, quite desperately (aka: when Newt did not talk one bit) you added, "Please!"
"I don't know what you're talking about," Was all he mumbled. God, he didn't even look at you! What the heck?!
"Newt," You warned.
"I'm fine."
"Cool, I didn't ask." You said. "But now... let's talk about that, since you're obviously not fine-"
"I am." He insisted.
"No," You scoffed. "You're not... so talk to me."
"No," Newt pouted. His arms were now crossed across his chest, childish as ever.
You raised an eyebrow to the boy, "Why?" You asked.
Newt looked to his feet, "Because it's dumb."
"Newt... it's not dumb-"
"Yes it is." He said.
"No, it's not," You promised. "Not if it's bothering you. Now... what's wrong? Did I do something?"
"No..."
"Liar."
"(Y/n)!" He snapped. Then, quieter, "Just... stop it okay? You..." Newt sighed. He squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath, "How's Ari?" He asked.
Bullshit, you wanted to say.
Newt doesn't care about Ari. He hadn't since you were asked to homecoming, and-
No way! It - it made sense now! Holy sh-
"Good," You mumbled. Maybe... you shouldn't say anything now?
Or...
"Good," Newt repeated with a whisper. Then, in a normal tone, "Is he - um, are you two...."
"Together?" You asked with a raised eyebrow. Akdjdj what?! "No... God no!"
Newt exhaled heavily.
Wait... "Why do you ask?" You suddenly said. It was softly, far softer than your previous words had been exchanged.
And it would have been nice if Newt had not yelled at you just seconds before.
"No... no reason." The boy mumbled.
"Newt," You warned.
"I just... you guys are - um... cute together."
You laughed suddenly. "What?"
Newt said nothing in response. His pained look seemed to be enough.
"I... me and Ari? No! God no!! He's my brother's friend! Gross! Blah!" You exclaimed with a laugh. Newt nervously laughed along, but, of course, when you paused he did as well.
"Wait..." You said.
Oh no, He thought.
"Is that what this was about?"
No, no, no. Shut up. Stop now, please, (Y/n). Don't-
"Me and Ari?"
Newt furiously shook his head. No, no, no, no, no-
"Were you... jealous?"
NOOOOOOO-
"N-no,"
Goddammit voice cracks. Shut up for once-
You laughed again. Sharply, but sweetly. "You... you were!" You yelled before covering your mouth. "Oh my god!" You whispered. "But why?"
"I, um... I kind of wanted to take you to homecoming." Newt mumbled. Again, he looked to his feet.
"What?"
Newt looked up to you, but avoided eye contact. He stumbled over his words again, "I... wanted-"
"No, I heard you the first time!" You giggled. "Why would you want me, though?"
Now - and only now - Newt had met your eyes.
"What do you mean?" He asked. Suddenly, it seemed... he was worried...?
"I mean... me?" You asked. "Seriously?! You could literally have every other girl, but-"
"I don't want every other girl," Newt mumbled. He still looked at you, surprisingly, and then stepped forward. To you. Slowly... sheepishly.
You gave him a quizzical look in return, and he took that as a sign to keep going.
Or not.
"I, uh... nevermind. I gotta-"
"No, you don't. This is your free period, idiot." Then, when Newt frowned and furrowed his eyebrows, you added "I know your schedule."
Right.
Newt had forgotten about that.
The second you got your schedules the two of you compared them. Then, you gave each other a copy "just in case something happens".
Like now, apparently.
"Um, well..."
You raised an eyebrow and Newt was stuck. Damn, did he hate this. Couldn't he just... like disappear and never return? Was that too much to ask?
"I, um... well - I'm going to ruin our friendship if I say this-"
"So do it." You told the boy.
"I - what?"
"Do it." You repeated.
"Um... I don't really want to though-"
"Newt."
"Fine! I - I like you, (Y/n), okay?! A - a lot!"
You grinned, "I like you too, but - wait...." Wait a damn minute here.
"Um... yeah," Newt mumbled. "Can I go now?"
You thought for a second. Then, "No."
"But-"
"Newt!"
He blushed, "Okay. Right. So... just, um... forget I said that, okay? It's nothing. I-"
"And what if I don't want to?"
"What?"
"What if... maybe... I don't want to forget it. Maybe, um... maybe I like you too." You sighed.
Now you understood Newt's lack of eye contact. It sucked. Holy shit did it suck.
And Newt grinned.
Partly because you liked him back, yeah, but also because you were stuttering. To him. (And you never stuttered.)
"Shut up," You mumbled. You knew what he was thinking, anyways. It was obvious (and, of course, Newt was awful at keeping secrets).
But, of course, Newt knew it too. He knew that you knew he loved seeing you blush for once, but he obviously didn't dare say it out loud.
Instead, he smiled again, and wrapped his arms around your waist. You quickly did the same of course, and pulled Newt into one of history's Greatest Hugs Of Known Time.
*End* um... so yeah? lol. but also, don't worry about ari, okay? newt was your date to the dance (if you went) and ari asking you out was part of a plan that thomas and minho made with ari bc they're sick of you/newt making googly eyes @ each other. [You found that out soon after.]
#modern newt#newt#tmr newt#newt x reader tmr#modern tmr#tmr high school au#tmr x reader#modern!newt#the maze runner#tmr minho#tmr imagine#tmr thomas#newt x you#newt x reader
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𝕙𝕚𝕚𝕚 𝕨𝕚𝕫 𝕚 𝕒𝕞 𝕒𝕘𝕘𝕣𝕖𝕤𝕤𝕚𝕧𝕖𝕝𝕪 𝕚𝕟𝕓𝕠𝕩𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕪𝕠𝕦 <3 𝕙𝕚𝕚 𝕞𝕒𝕪 𝕚 𝕣𝕖𝕢𝕦𝕖𝕤𝕥 𝕪𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕖𝕣𝕖 𝕤𝕙𝕖𝕠 <3 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕓𝕖𝕤𝕥 𝕓𝕖𝕤𝕥𝕚𝕖 /𝕘𝕖𝕟
-𝕕𝕠𝕔𝕔𝕚𝕥𝕪 𝕨𝕠𝕔𝕔𝕚𝕥𝕪 /𝕛
YO ITS THE BEING THAT FUCKS
Yes my dear friend you may!! Anything for the person that bullies me bc I love Stanford [=
(My fave is better /j)
So I’m gonna go for hc style on this one to feed the wonderful masses!
Romantic Yan Sheo x Reader
WARNINGS: Yandere behavior, obsessive tendencies, worshipful behavior, tiny tiny hints at smut, forced cuddling, mentions of genitalia to make a “suck my dick” moment.
You probably encountered him on one of his rare trips out of his home, to practice painting the green shades of Greenpath. His head snapped your way as you hissed, having a nasty and intimate encounter with the vines. A quiet chuckle left the bug, entertained by your anger towards the unmoving specimen. No fault but your own, though he had pity. Easing his form up, he crept behind you, going to offer his services,
Until you put a nail at his throat. Little cuts littered your clothes and body, soul leaking out your form like a faucet. Although you attempted to hold yourself stiff, you shook like a leaf lost from Unn’s reach. You were just a scared bug who was hurt and angry. The nail master had to stop himself from pulling at his paintbrush, deciding a diplomatic route would end this far quicker than any fight would. Not to say he couldn’t end you in seconds, especially considering your unfortunate health, but still. Mercy was sweet on a traveler so lucky.
It took a bit of coaxing, but you eventually lowered your nail to your hip (he found himself staring, much to his own embarrassment) and allowed him to guide you to his home. An off journey, especially with him having to carry you through the thorns. You had not a clue how his legs weren’t torn through by the natural dangers, but kept silent. A smart wanderer knows not to run the tongue lest it be cut. The trip was mostly filled with his chatter, seeming happy to have company even if it wasn’t exactly willing. His voice was nonstop. Switching between saying how you’d make a great subject for a painting and admiration of how strong you were even while injured.
Somewhere along the way, lost to the rumbling of Sheo’s voice, you drifted to sleep. It was a sweet, long slumber, filled with nothing but warmth. For once, you felt safe. For once, the infection and fighting were far out of your mind’s reach. Although you weren’t out of Sheo’s reach. His brush strokes were weak attempts to capture the beauty in front of him. He’d never seen such a truly peaceful face, especially from someone so worried. You used your nail as an extension of yourself; great for fighting, horrible for everyday life. Based off the way you slouched you probably hadn’t known a days peace in a long while.
The brush twitched with his hand, worry creasing his brow as he realized: you probably hadn’t had a days peace. But Sheo…he could help you find peace. All you had to do was trust him. You deserved better than what this world had to offer muse. Nothing but violence.
You had stayed with him for a couple days after that, often catching him speedily trying to outline something of those many canvasses of his. You were told not to look at them, under claims that they were just scenery practice and personal stuff a wanderer wouldn’t care for. Especially when you plan to hit the road soon. Although every time the bug mentioned it, he seemed anxious or even angry whenever you brought up leaving. You had to give it to him, he was good at prying information out of you. Stories of your childhood, your travels, and despite not being exactly an artist, what art you might like to see. It led to quite the interesting conversation, him doubling over as he laughed at your incorrect use of painting terminology. “The uh….the subject would be…Crystal Peak?” “THATS NOT WHAT A SUBJECT IS-“
Slowly these moments occurred more naturally between the two of you, slipping into a rhythm you would’ve loved to hear the end of, if you didn’t have to leave. Sheo hated it really, staring down the packed bag you carried. Seldom did you open the bag, despite his most often of queries to its contents. Truly puzzling. Something he loved; something he’d miss. Imagination was his greatest gift and curse, happily imagining you staying with him, finally being a willing and knowing participant of his paintings. To stay and learn new talents with him. No one was unreachable he believed, and he approached you all the same.
It hurt then, when on your last day he left for errands. He insisted you try and wait for him to get back to see you off, claiming to never have had such a visitor as yourself. “Truly a wonder you are,” he whispered almost breathlessly, “to have stumbled upon me in this accursed garden meant to keep all out.” Of course, you did your best to hold out. Couldn’t stand to think of hurting such a sweet soul as that. Biding time, you stared at the corner of the room filled with cloaked paintings. It taunted you, sheet draped so eerily well against the frames. It was only right then for you to strip the portraits of their confines, open them to the light and see the true nature.
Oh you wished you hadn’t. Your own reflection taunted you, of you sleeping, of you laughing, even you redressing after you had awoken. What kind of nonsense? No, no you had to flee. It was exactly as you had feared, an artist falling for someone to leave. Poetic brutality could suck your dick, you weren’t going to be trapped in some hut while the world awaited you. With a packed bag slung over your shoulder, the door opened and your feet moving forward-
Everything hurt. That’s all that crossed your mind. That you couldn’t see anything, and that everything was sore. Soft breathing came from beside you, a heavy arm becoming visible as your eyes creaked open to the dim moonlight. Nighttime? But you were supposed to leave yesterday. Instinctively, your hand traced your side for you nail, only to have an even larger hand cover it. “Stop moving so much my love. You’re making it hard to sleep. We both need our rest.”
Fear froze your frame. Sheo’s voice. The one you had fallen asleep too. What had he done? Supposedly knocked you out with how your head throbbed, causing you to feel sore. But now, he easily restrained you as his body slotted against yours, sighing happily and nuzzling into you.
What a perfect world to live in, with just you, your muse, and all the paint you could ever need.
WOOP WOOP AND DONE!! Shout out to you and Jack, once again doc for inspiring me to start this blog. Request anything you want at any time. You might even get a pass when requests are closed ;]
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Look at me, not being on time for my April Immersion Overview as is the usual. (・w・;
First, little blog updates to get out of the way:
I reached 100 followers! Got an influx of people checking out my 1 year update post, and got plenty of nice compliments on my data collection.
For those of you wondering just why I keep up with so much data, it's mostly because it can get really hard to notice how much you're improving in a language especially with something like immersion learning that for people who don't get it feels like a waste of time or a time sink.
Graphs showing consistency, improvement in reading speed, increasing vocabulary counts, and generally just seeing numbers grow turns language learning more fun and motivating for me, and if as a bonus, it encourages someone to try immersion learning then that would be cool!
With that said, whether you're here as a fellow language learner, graphs enthusiast (笑), or just want some Japanese media recommendations, ようこそ!
Also, made a tiny DP change - it’s チト from 少女週末旅行. Pretty sure it’s the first manga series I ever finished in Japanese (not the first one I started since ちはやふる is still ongoing), and I always felt a bit of a ☆connection☆ with her - between her book-loving personality and being a no-nonsense kind of person, there was no way for me not to enjoy her character. Great beginner anime/manga if you’re not into most beginner recommendations.
-☆-
April has been a pretty good immersion month, as I was able to dip my toes in a variety of media. A bit competitive, too! The club I joined has been pulling all the stops to get to the Top 20 Immersion Leaderboard in it’s first month. I was able to snag the 9th spot among a bunch of people of different comprehension levels (the majority being N1+ since they’re able to comprehend much more and in turn stand longer immersion hours). Lots of tiny complaints though of potential “whitenoising” content (”listening” and “reading” but not comprehending very well just to get a large number to post), but really what can you do? People lie all the time on the internet. Besides, it’s internet points that doesn’t do anything beyond being a little shiny I guess.
Enough about that, let’s get into the nitty-gritty details you came here for!
ANIME
フルーツバスケット
Might need to rewatch this one. Felt like I didn’t connect with the characters the way the rest of its fandom has. I’m kinda sad about it, since I normally love Slice of Life and Fantasy, and I know this is one of my friend’s diehard shows.
ラブライブ! School Idol Project S2
A filler anime to watch tbh. Nice and easy enough to follow for beginners. Pretty good songs. With regards to it being a show about music and moe, I still 100% prefer K-On! if I’m going to be honest, but for a show about non-toxic idols, it’s good!
魔法少女まどか☆マギカ
First read this as English translated manga when I was 13 or something. Mistakes were made. Let’s all just agree to throw キュウベえ into a pit of fire and never talk about it again. Great ending and a show that really reworked the magical girl genre. But seriously, I was traumatized by マミ’s death then and now, help.
四月は君の嘘
Already knew what was going to happen even before watching this so I didn’t ugly cry like I was expecting. Still got that awful sinking feeling though. 10/10 would recommend for a good cry. Also, I’m planning to read the manga, might enjoy that more, because I’ve always liked it more than anime actually. *shocked pikachu face*
ホリミヤ
Watched before I even finished the manga which felt like a mistake at first until I realized that it perfectly stops where I stopped reading. Nice and comfy anime, the kind I would have loved as a teen. Fun animation too, making parts very dramatic even though it wasn’t really that deep of an issue even in the manga. Just teens feeling feelings. Still salty that we lose bad boy styled 宮村, but I get why it had to happen.
AUDIOBOOKS
氷菓
Second re-listen. I understand it fine, but it’s very easy to drift off when you can’t catch all the words so I had to replay often. Will have to mine more from the anime/book.
君の名は
I mined from the anime, and was really pleased to be able to follow all 6 hours of this audiobook perfectly fine. Will need to read the book, because I realized just how seamless reading it would be after listening to it with hardly any issue.
BOOKS
キッチェン
Completed! Read my thoughts about it and see my stats on this post.
君の膵臓を食べたい
Still trudging on with this one. It’s not a bad story, it’s pretty well written actually, I just made the mistake of watching both the anime and live adaptation first, so I know exactly what’s going to happen and it’s killing my motivation to keep reading. I guess reading the book first before watching the movie still applies in any language with me. Really need to 頑張れ and finish so I can move on.
三���間の幸福
Started reading towards the end of the month, mostly because I realized that every chapter is only 5000-15000 characters long, and I was able to read up to 40k in a day with Island most days. Only two chapters read so far though because I got distracted by manga, but it’s shaping up to be a really good plot and potentially a really sad one, too, so I’m interested.
DRAMA
花ざかりの君たちへ イケメンパラダイス
Heard this was a classic so I gave it a try. Loved 生田 斗真’s character in this one the most especially all his internal dialogue acted out. Also, 小栗 旬 in anything is bound to be a good watch. Simple and fun watch. They dragged the ending so much though lmao
ごくせん
Look, I see 松本 潤, I click. Definitely the kind of show you should watch for some great life advice. Planning to watch the 2nd and 3rd seasons even if there is a terrible lack of 松本 潤, because I love my strong female protagonists, and man, ヤンクミ is such a great character. Need to read the manga, too, if I can find it.
極主夫道
Oof, this was kind of hard. The yakuza talk was throwing me off, but the rest of it was enjoyable. Not really plot heavy as I thought it was going to be. The comedy side of it was fun and predictable after the first few episodes. Overall, pretty good slice of life, family story with a twist.
MANGA
Read a bunch of manga this month, mostly because I am struggling to find the next vn to read.
おやすみプンプン
Read a couple of volumes (6-7). This manga is so good, but it’s so depressing I need to stop to take a breather every once in a while. Please don’t leave any spoilers. The club has been reacting to me reading this, and it has mostly been a lot of crying emotes. It’s both been enjoyable to see and really worrying. 笑
チェンソーマン
Club recommendation. Only read the 1st volume so far. I really need to get into more 少年 anime/manga. That’s currently my 苦手 genre which is awful because literally all the top anime/manga is 少年 help. I just can’t enjoy it much still even though it’s comprehensible to me.
ちはやふる 中学生編
Read Vol. 1, chill read to me at this point after reading 45 volumes of the regular manga. Look, it’s my favorite 幼馴染 manga in baby format, of course I’m going to read this! 太一 has been a flake way before season 3 confirmed. Don’t come at me たいちはや stans bc I also like his character.
約束のネバーランド
Volume 7. I’m taking my sweet time with this one, because I heard the anime for season 2 sucked, so I’m avoiding it like the plague. This is 少年 how am I enjoying this and not everything else what.
ヲタクに恋は難しい
Enjoyed the anime hated the movie why did they make it a musical that sucked (ps i normally love musicals hated this one)
The オタク jargon is kinda hard to read suprisingly but I do enjoy this ship very much. It’s a lighthearted take to otaku culture which is great because seriously it’s scary out there.
ツバサ -RESERVoir CHRoNiCLE-
It’s my childhood ship, obviously I will read this again (read in English several years ago). Still as plot twisty as I remember it being (now at a bonus hard level reading it in Japanese 笑). Really enjoyed reading this one (I finished it this May).
-☆-
I’m starting to really dislike furigana in manga. It was a great help as a beginner, but now it’s like training wheels that you can’t take off. I feel like the gains I’m getting from manga is much lower than it was when I first started which makes me both proud of how far I’ve come, but also sad because I love manga. Sad that I might have to start choose VNs over it, because it’s not going to challenge me as much going forward. I mean it didn’t stop me from reading a lot of it this month, but you get the picture.
VISUAL NOVELS
ISLAND
Completed! See my stats and read my long spoiler filled post here.
ファタモルガーナの館
Picked up this VN and finished two doors (15 hours) before stopping. On the fence about it, because it has been kind of predictable so far, and I don’t particularly enjoy the horror genre. That said, this is more psychological than anything, so it’s probably not that that’s putting me off. The language is not exactly difficult, too - maybe some oddly specific words because it is after all historical fiction (which is one of my favorite genres, btw), and 敬語 is definitely interesting to read for once after encountering so many お嬢様 characters in anime/drama so far.
I think maybe it’s the conversations that are kind of dull - dots (silence) every few clicks that keeps breaking the flow of reading. Probably judging it really harshly too early, because it’s rated so high everywhere, and I just have high expectations. Definitely not dropping it yet though, just taking a break and testing a couple of other VNs before I settle with whatever I end up choosing. It is, after all, going to be another 50+ hour read, and I just don’t want to not enjoy the process, because having fun with the process is a huge part of immersion learning.
Let me know if you’ve read Fata and if I should continue!
-☆-
That’s it for this month!
If you have any suggestions on what to watch and read next, please send me a reply, especially for VNs because I’m struggling over here.
#language learning#japanese language#language acquisition#study blog#langblr#studyblr#japanese#japanese studyblr#nihongo#anime#manga#books#audiobooks#visual novels#jdrama#oyasumi punpun#chainsaw man#chihayafuru#wotakoi#the promised neverland#tsubasa reservoir chronicle#fruits basket#love live#mahou shoujo madoka magika#horimiya#shigatsu wa kimi no uso#hanakimi#gokusen#gokushufudo: the way of the house husband#island visual novel
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New jomike hc au!post college
I came up with this au in my head for awhile now some hc’s regarding this new au on a whim bcs i wanted to tell my friends abt it on a discord server. I thought it’s time it sees the light of day bcs i simply cannot keep it in me anymore. Also this is kind of inspired by the song Dorothea - Taylor Swift.
Everyone is graduating so que the sappy goodbyes as they’re all gonna be scattered not just all around the us but also all around the world
The couples made a truce whether to do long distance or they share the same dreams so they do it together
But mike and jojo didn’t make things work in the end so they broke up before graduation but still went to prom together
y’know those kinds of high school hearthache
Bcs Mike stayed in new york but jojo flew away (like england or sumn idk)
To some fancy elite school bcs he’s smart yknow
He wanted to from the start but he’s always been a bit torned bcs he knew from the start of the relationship mike was the one (call it stupid young love or whatever you want, i call it destiny:))
And mike never wanted to hold him down so he was the one that proposed the idea to him
For the most part it worked out
Jojo flew away to chase his dreams
Mike stayed and did the same thing
Both of them only kinda sorta moved on. Met new people but never fully stopped thinking abt the other. Wishing the other was by their side right now
And so they’ve gotten their degrees and gotten their dream jobs
Mike is a coder working in a video game company while jojo is in social media marketing after finishing business school (or whatever major required for that job field idk)
And they kinda hv their life together. Jojo living on his own in a studio apartment with a cat called Dorothea (see what i did there:)) money doesn’t concern him all that much bcs the job pays nicely and he’s good at handling his finances
Mike lives alongside with his brother ike in a nice apartment too. He manages to get a position that allows him to work flexibly at home yknow. He also has a new kitten he saved from the streets named Honey (bcs his fur is orange like honey) and since his older cat had died of old age
But mike lives with ike who also lives with hotshot. So he’s like always the third wheel. Even worse when ike and hotshot are hving the occasional double date with race and spot. Mike feels even more worse at those time
Decides to hide away in his room or go out with the excuse being work
And its even worse remembering he used to go on double dates with ike and hotshot when him and jojo were still a thing
So ike is like ‘yknow what? I hv enough of this shit’ and hv one good brother to brother talk
‘Dude. It’s been years already. How are you not over him?’
‘Bcs he’s jojo...’
‘Ok? So why don’t you call him?’
It’s not like mike has never thought of calling him. Very much possible. They still follow each other’s social media’s so if his old number had changed he cld always just ask from a simple dm since mike knows jojo is still active in his social media accs
But mike is like ‘i can’t. He cld be taken for all i know. Even if he weren’t, he seems to be doing fine on his own’
‘You can’t really get to know a person through instagram posts. Remember how you tried that the first time you wanted to ask him out? You thought he didn’t like guys and yet still went on a date with you anyways’
That was a real slap in the face type of sentence yknow so mike is working up a lot of courage and planned a lot on what he’s gonna do
He first wanted to message jojo. Seeing if it’s still okay to call and all. But he cldn’t figure out what to say so he procrastinated on that part
Ike got sick of it so he took the phone from mike and messaged ‘can we call? I miss you’
Mike was hovering in between i will murder you or thank you @ ike
Either way jojo texts back with his new number. It’s gonna add up on his usual phone bill but he thinks it’s worth it.
Ok so they talked for like soooo long
7?8?hours?
Basically the whole night for mike
It felt like high school all over again
They were just catching up with each other and talking abt absolute bullshit at the same time
Till they got to the point where they mentioned how they’re both single and the air kinda shifts
Deep down mike and jojo knows what this means
As far as jojo is concerned, mike was the one that messaged him that he misses him
It’s easy now for mike to word out come home without indirectly saying it out loud in case that’s not what jojo wants
Bcs after that catching up, he knows that as much as it’s a dream for jojo to work at a big well known fashion brand (he’s pretty fashionable lmao) and get free products that are usually hella expensive from the brand, he hates everyone he works with. Real snobs and ruthless when it comes to getting a higher position
The other things abt his new life is pretty interesting and he loves it. But he admits there’s always been something missing and mike so badly wants to be that something missing in jojo’s new life
So it comes out straight forward. Not like how mike had planned, but it works in the end. ‘Come home’
And jojo does exactly that. He agrees to come home for the weekend. He books a ticket to new york then back with only a carry on duffle bag filled with a few assortments of clothing and booked it out after telling dorothea he won’t be long.
He rushes to the airport bcs he kinda booked the flight that leaves for new york as soon as possible. Perhaps deep down jojo really does know what he’s been missing in his life?
He lands in new york on a friday night new york time
Mike tells him not to worry abt what he’s wearing bcs he just wants to meet jojo at a central park bench that has long became an important spot for them
Jojo insisted on meeting as soon as he lands which is tonight. So the whole time he’s in the cab, he’s like soooo shaky and nervous it kinda drove the cab driver anxious as well. Bcs like jojo’s not talking and didn’t like say anything abt why he’s going to central park this late at night and not to some fancy hotel as most travelers wld do when they first arrive at new york
The moment the cab stops, jojo basically threw him a wad of cash. Probably too much than the actual price of the ride but he just called out from the back of his shoulder saying it’s a huge tip. Secretly, he’s thanking the cab driver for not asking him why he’s in new york and why central park at this time. It’d most likely make him even more nervous
He’s running on the path. He doesn’t reach full speed bcs his duffle bag is weighing him down. He doesn’t even know why he’s going so fast. It’s not like mike has anything else planned
Picture jojo frantically looking around the area like he’s a lost little boy in the dark. Barely seeing anyone else in ten vicinity, so any figure out at this ungodly time rn cld only mean is mike.
But he’s growing worried bcs it doesn’t seem like he’s around
Until ofc ‘jojo!’
Jojo whips his head around and sees Mike walking up to the bench from a different direction
They didn’t really do anythign at the start. They just stared at each other while standing in the dark approximately 10 feet apart. Jojo waits for a sign from mike to do anything else, though mike was doing the same thing for jojo
Until mike decides to break the 1 minute long silence ‘jojo-‘
But he didn’t continue bcs jojo was already running up to him the moment his mouth moves and tackles him into the tightest hug ever
His duffle bag was dropped halfway from the run so there was no holding back. The hug very much pushed mike’s soul out of his figure as much as it did to his body
Thankfully, mike hugged back just as tight. If not, it was a sign for jojo that it wasn’t okay to go in for a hug just yet and he wld pull back really quick
In time, jojo did end up pulling back to look at mike’s face up close and whisper ‘i still love you’
Which is really out of nature for jojo bcs he’s never really known to be the risk taker between the two
And mike was so happy at that moment that he just pulls jojo in for a kiss.
And that folks, is how they got back together:)
So everyone has agreed that airplane food sucks ass (for the most part at least.
Jojo was forced to eat it on his plane back to new york but he didn’t like finish it
Probably bcs he was so nervous and it also didn’t look so appetizing
So after they’ve said their heartfelt ‘i still love you’s and etc mike took him back to his apartment after finding out he doesn’t hv a place to stay. He’d stay at his parents place but the de la guerra’s hv long moved out of new york. You can say the similarities between jojo and his parents are that they like to travel. They sold their house and ended up backpacking across the world to look for a place to retire inevitably. Last time he checked up on his mom, the old couple is driving to Netherlands.
So mike took him home and cooked him dinner. They hv the apartment all to themselves since hotshot and ike are out
Unknowingly, jojo had sat on honey’s favorite spot on the couch and earned a disapproving meow from the little cat
Not until mike had properly introduced them that honey started to be nicer to jojo. And so they eat dinne ron the couch and talked.
Mike admitted calling him has been on his mind for quite some time but was too scared to act up on it. And jojo said what he did just now was the most compulsive and adrenaline rush thing he’s ever done. The roles had reversed for the moment
But now they’re back where they’ve always belong. In each other’s grasp while looking out the balcony in the tiny living room to watch the sunrise and then getting surprised seeing ike and hotshot pile in the apartment
And so now they’re back. They make the most of the weekend to talk abt what they really want
Jojo wants to quit his old job. The firm is full of snobby and arrogant ppl
And it has him working almost 24/7. He doesn’t want that
Mike on the other hand wants to hv a period of his life where he’s traveling full time
So they took inspiration from ike and hotshot’s current plan : get a mini bus to convert it into a home
In conclusion jojo quits his job, moves back to new york along with his cat dorothea so he can live with mike to make that converted bus plan. After securing a proper job that let’s him work at home flexibly like mike’s, they get on with their plan and sets off to travel in their house on wheels with their two cats. They end up getting married ofc and lived happily ever after:)
Thank you and goodnight folks hsnsgsbssjshmshssmhs
#newsies#newsies headcanons#jomike#jomike newsies#jojo newsies#jojo de la guerra#mike newsies#tw animal death
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a christmas rini hc bc the hsmtmts special revived me <3
just a cute lil christmas rini fim my bros, just some mushy christmas love shit for y’all hehehhe (not proofread sorry, it was just a braindump lmao)
ricky loved mistletoe growing up.
no seriously, he loved it.
ever since he was little, year after year, mistletoe was associated with everything that made him the happiest - the holidays, winter, ugly sweaters, being snug with someone you love, his parents happy and in love, and the best kind of warmth to overwhelm all the cold
his earliest memory of his parents truly in love was when he held some mistletoe up to their knees and they kissed above him with smiles on their faces and teeth clashing.
it seemed to evolve as sort of a tradition. every year since ricky was 5 years old, he held up the mistletoe for his mom and dad while the entire house smelled of nutmeg while the cinnamon rolls and chocolate chip cookies baked in the oven;
eventually his dad nagging him to do it once he hit double digits while he visibly (fake) gagged at how endearing his parents were for kissing under the mistletoe
until this year, there was nothing that could ruin the innocence of a kiss under the mistletoe
but here he was, winter break of junior year, with half a christmas tree up, his parent’s divorce finalised, his mom celebrating christmas with ted in chicago, his dad drunk on his days off work, and him eating microwaved thanksgiving turkey lunches (that are somehow still a thing) alone
if he wasn’t so fucking angry at all the exhaustion and sadness he was feeling, he might’ve has the emotional availability to cry about it (hint: he didn’t)
so he just resorted to the monotony of waking up every day, doing his homework (yeah it surprised him too dw), facetiming nini, and gaming to keep himself as distracted as he could, actively avoiding the holidays all together
and obviously nini knew the extent to which this all sucked for ricky :(
in addition to the guilt she was feeling leaving for denver in a few weeks, she hated the way ricky’s festive spirit was non-existent this year
she remembered them every year growing up, ricky resembling a puppy getting ready for a walk in the park with each day they got closer to christmas
ricky, even before them dating, having 4 christmas movie marathons planned for every saturday of the month for them to watch on nini’s couch
(die hard of course being one of them because YES, it is a christmas movie, and no, he didn’t take criticism)
her excitedly looking forward to cuddling with him underneath the only non-christmas coloured blanket he didn’t complain about nini keeping on the couch because he knew that it was her favourite blanket that they would inevitably end up cuddled under together
her moms obviously found them passed out on the couch snuggling, nini resting almost on top of ricky, them soundly sleeping with their stomachs full of hot cocoa and their hearts filled with love for each other (and yes the cheesiest and warmest christmas cheer)
god, they fucking loved each before they even knew what love was; if nini wasn’t already the hopelessly hopeless romantic she was, she could scream into a pillow about it
she was so thankful for ricky and the holidays, and ricky during the holidays. she always thought her favourite season was spring but seeing how much ricky loved winter, it was hard for it not to slowly become her’s too
so now as she sat facetiming him and he looked the saddest he’s ever looked, it was impossible for her not to scheme
after a few searches on pinterest and a re-watch of all the new girl christmas and thanksgiving episodes, she got her plan together
===========================================================
two days later, while ej, kourtney and big red took ricky out for a movie and some pizza, unbeknown to ricky, she used the hidden spare key to get in (break in) to his house
she knew that his dad had been working pretty late everyday this winter so she bet that some quality time with ricky was highly likely
after raiding ricky’s gummy worm stash from the second last drawer beside his kitchen counter, she got everything ready
===========================================================
‘this really is so nice of you guys, really’
ricky was incredibly thankful for his friends. he didn’t even know what he would do without them, but it was hard not to feel the sting of nini foregoing the movies for a workshop that her denver school was hosting
and of course he tried not to be bitter about it, he was so incredibly happy for her, she was the most talented person he knew, but it also sucked that he would have to do the rest of high school without his girlfriend, the person he loved most in the entire world
‘dude, don’t even sweat it... we know it’s been a rough winter’
and again, if two months ago you were going to tell ricky that ej was more an acquaintance to him, let alone a friend, he’d think something was perpetually wrong with the universe
but here he was, even empathetic
they had eaten, watched an overplayed zombie movie at the theatre and spend some good time together. and even though he was incredibly grateful for the quality time he’d spent with his friends, his social battery was low and his tiredness unrelenting.
so within twenty minutes, he was back on his driveway, taking a deep breath before bracing the Utah snow
===========================================================
once he walked through the door, he didn’t really even realise the entire living room re-arranged until the smell of his mom’s cinnamon rolls hit him
and then he processed all of it at once; a fort was set up in the middle of the room, the fully decorated christmas tree gleaming in its designated corner and christmas decor uplifting the entire space. fairy lights hung around the fort and the tv had been moved to level with it as muffled christmas sintra rung through the air
the entire gesture winded ricky.
‘hi’ nini’s voice piped shyly from the kitchen
‘hi’
it was safe to say that rick was indeed short-circuiting right now
‘oh my-’ ‘ricky i-’
he didn’t really wait, ‘no me first. what the actual fuck nini? what the actual he-? oh my- i don’t eve- oh my-’
luckily, nini wasn’t as winded, ‘i know christmas sucks this year, i know that everything seems wrong. but i love you and gina, ej, big red and kourtney love you, we’re here. i’m here. i wanted to something for the holidays, ya know? take some agency and plan the festivities for once.’
ricky was still pretty starstruck, ‘by the looks of it, i should definitely do this more.’
her soft giggles were only matched with tears pooling in ricky’s eyes. tears he was desperately trying to control from sliding down his cheeks. nothing had managed to lift this unnerving pressure he had pressed up on his chest till now. and now? now, he was elated. he felt like a fucking cloud. he was so relieved, and so so fucking thankful.
‘this-nini this? this is everything.’ and he meant it. the earnestness in his voice seemed to surprise nini, her eyes suddenly matching his glossy ones.
‘i love you.’ was all he managed to say as he rested his forehead on hers after hugging her, breathing in more of the nutmeg candles she’d lit.
‘one more thing.’
‘what?’
‘look up!’
and surely enough, mistletoe stared right back at ricky, ‘i know this is hard. i know it is,’ she said almost reading his mind, ‘so we make our own traditions y’know, new ones. happy ones. so i thought i’d start with this.’
and that was enough for him to kiss her; he tried to convey all the love and great-fullness and integrity and warmth and honesty he felt, how much she made him feel like he had a home in her, how comfortable she was, how indispensable. most of all, he wanted her to know how lucky he was to be loved by her.
when they finally broke apart, nini raced to the kitchen counter, and when she returned with her favourite non-christmas sunshine yellow blanket and a copy of the die hard dvd, he knew that this winter break was something he could survive.
#christmas rini#you hear me? CHRISTMAS RINI#this is my whole heart#yep yep yep#my entire heart#ricky bowen#nini salazar roberts#user:rickybowxn#rini#hsmtmts s2#hsmtmts#hsmtmts hc#high school musical the musical the series#ricky x nini#nini x ricky#olivia rodrigo#joshua bassett#big red#ej caswell#kourtney hsmtmts
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ACOSF 78.5
Wrote a chapter that i felt was missing, plz convey ur thoughts plagiarized the sex scene bc that felt uncomfy to write lol
Hours later, once Feyre and Nyx were sound asleep and Rhys had some color return to his cheeks, Nesta and Cassian flew back to the house. The new family was under vigilant watch by Mor and Elain, the latter who had refused to let Madja leave without the finest bouquet made from the rarest plants in the river house garden.
Mor had winnowed Gwyn and Emerie back to the library – Emerie had no desire to return to Windhaven just yet, especially when her home had been torn apart both by their Illyrian kidnappers and later, by Cassian’s utter panic. Nesta was not quite ready to part with her sisters-in-arms just yet, but knew they all desperately needed a bath and a warm meal.
Alone in the sky, Nesta rested her head against Cassian’s shoulder. She savored his scent, taking deep, heady breaths of him as they flew under the twinkling stars in the sky. She savored the feel of his strong heartbeat alongside the steady beat of his wings. She pressed a kiss to his jaw and idly traced the veins of his neck. She had missed this feeling desperately over the past week. And for a few terrifying moments on the slopes of Ramiel, she thought would never be in his arms again; the though threatened to set free the tears she hasn’t yet shed. Cassian must have sensed the direction her thoughts had headed in and only clutched her tighter to him.
Cassian flew them higher and higher, and with each beat of his wings, Nesta allowed the bone-tired weariness to creep in. She couldn’t remember the last time she ate a full meal or got a full night’s rest. She ached to be reunited with her bed or be reacquainted with the House’s culinary creations.
A few wingbeats later, Cassian arrived at the landing of the House. He gently lowered Nesta down to her feet, but as soon as her legs touched the ground they threatened to buckle. He wordlessly lifted her back up and carried her past the threshold of their home.
“Welcome home,” he whispered against her ear.
Nesta shuddered; her home, her friend. In response, the house brushed a calming wind against her forehead, and Nesta could smell of roast beef (or was it a steak?) wafting from her room and hear a trickle of water coming from the adjoining bath. As if the house knew exactly what she needed; an old nursemaid indeed.
Cassian carried her down to her room and cautiously set her down. Her knees wobbled but she remained upright. They both silently took in their surroundings and started; in the corner of the room stood a spiral staircase, a staircase connecting her room and Cassian’s above her.
Cassian chuckled, “Guess someone has been doing some redecorating while we’ve been away.”
“I guess so,” Nesta mused. To the House she said, “Thank you.” Nesta could’ve sworn the air around her bowed in response.
“What should we do with my room upstairs – we can turn it into an indoor training ring. Or an auxiliary library. Or into a giant closet. The opportunities are endless,” Cassian grinned.
Nesta blinked away the tears threatening to let loose. It was so silly – so silly to be brought to tears by something this mundane. But to have options, to have the ability to plan for the future. The future with him. This was something she would never again take for granted.
“We can do whatever we want.” She said in response. She took in a deep breath. “But right now, I think I really want a bath.”
Cassian nodded. “I can’t say I like the scent of you in another male’s clothes. I’m looking forward to using this outfit as kindling.”
Nesta snorted, and slowly, painfully walked into the bath chamber towards the already drawn bath. The enticing scents of lavender and lilacs drifted towards her; but she found herself too exhausted to peel off her clothes, oversized though they were. Cassian silently entered behind her and gently took off the stolen, stinking clothing. He lifted her naked body into the bath and Nesta groaned at the first touch of warm water against her aching body.
The water didn’t sting against her injuries as it should have; taking a quick glance at the bottles lined up next to her told Nesta that the House had mixed a healing salve into the water. Nesta couldn’t be more grateful.
As soon as she was settled in the bath, a tray of roast beef and vegetables appeared in front of her, resting across the tub. Next to the main course was the most beautiful slice of chocolate cake Nesta had ever seen. The sight of the steaming meat and shining dessert had Nesta ready to break down in tears again.
“Looks good enough to eat.” Cassian said, a touch too innocently. Nesta smiled up at him.
“Do you want to get in?” She asked him, echoing the question from so many months before.
The amber in his eyes darkened, his eyes scanning over her body like a brand. His gaze lingered on a cut on her shoulder; Cassian sucked in a breath, and schooled his face into neutrality. Courtier indeed. His response was the same now as it was then, and a softer type of pain slashed across his eyes, “You’re hurt.”
“That didn’t stop you before.”
Cassian growled, low and heady in his throat, and Nesta’s blood sang in response.
Cassian pointed towards the tray of food. “Alright. Get started on your dinner. I’m going to go dispose of these godsforsaken clothes and be right back.” Cassian turned and picked up the pile of torn and dirty clothes and strode out of the bathroom.
Nesta’s tired and aching body thrummed in anticipation, creating a strange combination of exhaustion and eagerness. She turned her attention towards her food, and began to eat, counting down the seconds until her mate returned.
*
Cassian hadn’t been gone more than four minutes when he returned to the bath. He laughed softly at his view: Nesta dozing off, in front of her a half-eaten plate of roast beef and a second plate, completely empty, where not a single crumb of chocolate cake remained. Nesta’s mouth was lined with her dessert; he had never known his mate to be an ill-mannered eater, but the residue from her meal showed him how starved she must have been.
Mate. His mate. He leaned down and helped himself to the remaining beef and vegetables on her plate. This wasn’t quite the food sharing ceremony that he wanted, but what was hers was his, and what was his was hers. They might as well start sharing now.
He lifted the empty tray off the bath and set it on the floor. He turned to grab a towel but was halted by Nesta stirring.
“What took you so long?” She grumbled.
“I was gone for less than 5 minutes. You’re exhausted.”
“I don’t care. Get in.” Nesta threw as much bite into the command as she could, but her exhaustion won out. Instead, she wound up sounding like a petulant child. Irritated, she made to scooch forward in the tub and stared up at him expectantly.
Cassian loosed a sigh and rolled his eyes. “Your wish is my command, my lady.” He peeled off his clothes, keeping his eyes on hers. He wanted her – needed her – badly, but knew she needed rest. He lowered himself into the bath behind her, wings and all.
“Dunk your hair in so I can wash you.”
Nesta obeyed, and was rewarded by his fingers skillfully lathering something scented with lilacs into her hair. He massaged her temple, her hair, and behind her ears with such skill that she moaned. She felt him hard and ready behind her and made to reach for him. He flicked her hand away, his laugh a quiet grumble in his throat. Cassian leaned his mouth down against her ear to whisper, “When you’re healed and looking pretty again, then I’ll let you fuck me wherever you please in this House.”
“Using my own words against me. You’re a quick study, Courtier.” Nesta chuckled, “You would think saving the High Lord and Lady of the Night Court would entitle me to some sort of a reward.”
Cassian felt his heart clench, and quickly forced the somber thoughts out of his mind. She had saved them; she had saved them all. He would never stop being thankful for his brave, beautiful mate. “Dunk your hair back in the water and we can get you dried up.”
“I don’t want to leave the bath yet. I like it here.”
I like it here with you, were the words that were left unspoken, but understood, between the two of them. Cassian nodded silently against her, pressing a kiss to the back of her head.
Nesta leaned more fully against him and closed her eyes, and Cassian wrapped his arms around her waist. In their home, his mate in his arms, he relished in this moment. This is more than I could have ever dreamed of.
Nesta whispered, “You’re more than I could have ever dreamed of.”
Cassian stared down at her, but her eyelids were drooping and he knew that she needed rest. He only held her closer and began soothing strokes down her leg.
Safe in her mate’s arms, Nesta slept.
*
Hours, or maybe even days, later, Nesta awoke in her bed. It was dark again – could she have actually slept an entire day? She rubbed her eyes awake.
Wings, she realized. She had been sleeping cocooned in her mate’s wings; they both were. She turned to face him; her beautiful, kind, and fiercely loving mate. Her love.
It was rare that she awoke before him; his Illyrian training had him up at the crack of dawn every single day. It wasn’t often that Nesta had an opportunity like this, an opportunity to stare at his perfect face. A face she hadn’t seen for a week. A face she hadn’t been able to fully appreciate in their reunion that had been cut short.
Conveniently enough, they were both naked – she peered down and laughed quietly. Even in sleep, he was ready for her.
Nesta lifted an arm to trace the velvety membrane of his wing. She traced from its outermost border toward his back, stroking determinedly where skin met wing, and pressed a kiss to his chest, trailing her mouth upwards. She reached her other hand down and began pumping him softly, and felt her own wetness begin to pool between her legs.
“Good morning,” he whispered when her mouth met his.
“Good morning,” she whispered back, smiling. She lifted her hips in silent command.
Grinning wickedly, Cassian obeyed. He nudged at her entrance but halted there, and Nesta whimpered.
Cassian snickered, “Still so impatient, Archeron.”
Nesta growled. She arched her neck in a second command digging her fingers into his shoulders, and Cassian didn’t hesitate a single second before licking up her neck and plunging into her at the same moment.
I missed this. Being drenched in you. Nesta gasped at Cassian’s voice, as clear as any words spoken aloud, in her mind. Cassian chuckled, his laugh a song to her blood. One of the many benefits of the mating bond, in case you forgot.
Cassian drew out in a long slide, leveraging Nesta’s stunned silence to his benefit. He thrust back, seating himself fully and watched her eyes roll back into her head. The sight of her so undone so quickly had him ready to come instantly, but he willed his cock to relax.
He withdrew again, and watched his cock slide out, gleaming with her wetness, and then plunged again. With every thrust, he lost himself in her, as if he hadn’t already done so weeks, months, and years ago. He lost all sense of himself, and there was her, only her.
I love you. He said into her mind with every thrust. I love you.
Nesta couldn’t stop the barrage of tears freeing themselves from her eyes. The words that had evaded her for so long, the words she knew to be true with his every action and every glance in her direction. The words she didn’t know she needed to hear until now.
“I love you,” she choked out, “I have always loved you.”
I love you. With everything I have ever been, with everything that I am, with everything I will ever be. I love you.
Release barreled into them both at the same moment, and he rammed up into her with such a mighty thrust that they both screamed. She clamped around him, and he spilled as much of himself as he could into her.
They clung to each other, Nesta stroking his arm and Cassian clutching her tightly to his chest on top of his thundering heart.
“I love you,” he whispered, silver lining his eyes, “More and more with every passing moment, with every passing day.”
She kissed him deeply, letting her lips and mouth and tongue convey what words could not. Surrounded by the love of her House, the love of her mate, and her growing love for herself, she said to him, do it again.
Cassian grinned, happy to oblige.
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I hope this doesn’t come out the wrong way but I think I have a withdrawal for your Loki stuff,,,, I know you’re into other fandom right now and gosh I feel bad for even sending this bc my intention is not to make you feel bad or to rush you, I just want to ask, could I pretty please get a little snippet for whatever Loki fic you have in process? No ass kissing but I haven’t seen anyone write him better than you do and I miss you and your Loki fic. Again I hope this doesn’t sound like I rush you
It’s okay, anon! I mean, I feel guilty but that’s not your fault, that is my fault for the ways in which I feel obligated toward people in fandom and I’m. Trying to not do that and just focus on what Brings Me Joy and whatnot. But I’m truly flattered by the sentiment and also sorry that you’re missing it.
But I’ve got plenty of Loki fic floating around here that I can share with you, so here, have a long snippet that’ll hopefully give you a little bit of ease in this time of me being thoroughly sucked into another fandom.
this being the first three scenes of the fic the first steps stumbling forward, sometimes known as “100 pages of ostensibly Steve/Loki fic and not only no kissing, but also Loki is still solely referring to Steve by his last name only.”
A ship full of Aesir landing on Midgard’s northern hemisphere was, apparently, “a humanitarian crisis.” From what Loki gathered, that meant mostly a great many arguments ensuing about who was going to deal with them, which really seemed to be about if anyone was going to.
Loki almost wanted to see what would happen if someone tried to tell Thor they had to leave. At least so far, though, no one actually had. Perhaps they recognized that there was no one on their planet with the means to actually enforce that decree. At least not for certain.
Not that their entire reception was hostile. Almost as soon as the situation became clear humans began arriving, some simply to gawk but others seemingly with intent to help. Crews of camera-people and reporters swarmed - mostly around Thor, but others like flies around the miserable remnants of Asgard’s people.
Loki, for his part, kept his distance from them. Eventually he supposed someone might mention his name, but until then he planned to avoid that particular difficulty.
He did go to spy on Thor’s meeting with Stark, who had arrived with much fanfare, stepping out of his suit with a too-wide grin and turning to wave before turning to Thor and promptly doing a double-take.
“Buddy,” he said. “What happened to your hair? Also your eye-”
A small smile played around the corner of Thor’s mouth. “That’s a long story.” He glanced past Stark like he was looking for someone else. “You’re alone?”
Stark’s expression did something tight and complicated. “Long story.” He glanced over his shoulder at the snapping cameras. “Can we go somewhere else? Talk in private?”
“Yes,” Thor said. “This way.” He gestured Stark toward the makeshift headquarters they’d set up back inside the ship, and he walked inside fiddling with the bracelets on his wrists. Loki slipped in after Thor and took up a position in the corner of the room to listen.
The moment the door closed the last of Stark’s bravado fell away and he turned to Thor looking exhausted. “As good as it is to see you, and as much as I’m - really sorry about--” He gestured awkwardly at their surroundings, “--I gotta tell you that you have the worst timing.” He walked over to the table and sat down. “Where’ve you been? Caught some selfies of you on Instagram the other week - in New York, and you didn’t come say hi - but you still had two eyes at that point.”
One of Thor’s hands rose briefly, still self-consciously, to touch his eye-patch. “Yes,” he said. “I was on Earth. Briefly. As I said, it is a long story. Why do I have poor timing?”
Stark rubbed his eyes. “So, uh, right now? There’s this thing called the ‘Sokovia Accords.’ Basically the idea is to make sure superhumans are, uh, supervised.” Thor’s expression remained impassive. Stark glanced away. “So, see, then you show up with a whole...whole bunch of homeless superhumans, superaliens, and everyone’s not quite sure how you fit into this, what kind of compliance they should be demanding...it’s a whole thing. Secretary Ross - you’ll meet him, he’s awful - he says that Asgard should be under US protection because you were an Avenger and the Avengers were a US team, sort of-”
“‘Were’?” Thor said, just as Loki was thinking it, but he thought he’d already figured it out.
“Yeah,” Stark said after a beat. “There was a bit of a falling out. The point is...you and your people are a problem with a capital ‘P’, as far as the governments on Earth are concerned. And I swear to god I heard something about you bringing the Hulk with you too, which is just - hang on, you’re not serious.”
Loki had gathered enough from this conversation, so as much as he wanted to see Stark’s expression he slipped out. He felt Thor glance toward the door opening, but Stark was too busy making incoherent noises that were either excitement, horror, or both, to notice.
**
Thor came and found him paring slices out of a small and slightly sour apple. The taste wasn’t pleasant, but at least it was fruit.
“You were eavesdropping,” Thor said, not quite an accusation. Loki gave him a quick, wry smile.
“And?”
Thor sighed, but he didn’t actually seem upset. After a moment he sat down next to Loki. “What did you think?”
“I think,” Loki said, “that your friends have done a better job of tearing themselves apart than I ever could have.” Thor gave him a hard look and Loki raised his eyebrows. “What? It’s true, isn’t it?”
“Loki,” Thor said chidingly. Loki shrugged.
“I think it doesn’t change much,” he said. “Midgard’s governments were never going to be happy. They still can’t do very much about it.”
“It also means they won’t help. Or are reluctant to help.”
“True.” Loki glanced down at the half eaten apple in his hands. “Not quite the welcome you expected, hm? Almost makes you wish someone had already conquered this planet.”
Thor’s jaw tightened. “Our people are suffering, Loki.”
Loki held up his hands. “I wasn’t being flippant. Or, I was, but not because I miss the gravity of our situation.” He sighed. “You are just going to have to convince them of our good intentions. While maintaining our independence from the kind of control Stark was describing, as I doubt that would end well.”
“Simple enough,” Thor said.
“And I,” Loki said, “will continue to stay out of the way. If you are now a possible threat…”
Thor rubbed his remaining eye. “Tony thinks that they will ask that the Hulk be turned over.”
Loki barked a laugh. “I’d like to see someone tell Hulk that. From a distance.” Thor’s lips twitched like he was trying not to smile. “Is Stark planning to try?”
“No,” Thor said, sounding faintly puzzled. “I asked if he wanted to speak to the Hulk, but he refused. I have no idea why.”
“He’s ashamed of something,” Loki said promptly. “I’d really like to know what. Though not enough to actually pursue it.” Thor frowned at him again. “What?”
Thor shook his head and then pushed himself to his feet. “I have another meeting with this ‘World Security Council’,” he said. “Wish me luck.”
“Good luck,” Loki said. “Perhaps you should remind them that you’ve saved their planet...how many times is it, now? It’s always possible someone will remember to show some proper gratitude.” He pared another slice off the apple and popped it in his mouth. “If not, you could always set a few nearby trees on fire.”
Thor frowned. “I’m not going to threaten them into submission.”
“Don’t tell me you haven’t been tempted.”
Thor gave him an exasperated look and left. Loki eyed the rest of the unappetizing apple and almost threw it away, only to remember that their food stores were pitifully limited and largely reliant on the relief crews.
Waste not, he thought wearily, and ate the rest of it. It was almost a pity he’d had a solid three years of soft living to get used to luxury again. He’d lost all the good lessons of the three before that.
By the looks of things, he’d have plenty of time to get them back.
You could always leave, whispered a faint voice, not for the first time. There’s a whole universe to wander.
But if he walked away now, Loki didn’t think he’d ever be able to come back. He’d made his decision, for better or for worse. Besides, it wasn’t as though he had a whole lot of options for other places to go where he wouldn’t be risking his neck just by showing his face. Which...was the case here, too.
Loki made a face at the core he was holding and bit it in half hard enough that his teeth clicked together.
**
The trouble with having to avoid any and all public appearances was that it severely limited what Loki could actually do. He was skulking about like a thief, confined to administrative tasks behind the scenes.
A not insignificant part of him resented it. He wasn’t proud, but there it was: he had always hated feeling invisible, and now more than ever. He’d gotten too used to the spotlight, just as he’d gotten too used to comfortable living. He should have known neither would last.
He reminded himself it was his own fault. That did not particularly help.
Valkyrie seemed to be having the opposite problem. Asgard’s people were in awe of her. The humans were even more impressed. She, meanwhile, appeared to be trying to avoid both.
This meant they spent a fair amount of time together, since her green best friend was a bit of an attention-getter. (Thor had tried to get him to stay out of sight, but it hadn’t gotten him very far. Still, based on Stark’s reaction, someone was suppressing that bit of news. He had to wonder who.)
“You look cheerful,” Loki said when he found her in - surprise, surprise - the ship’s bar. It was empty, but she seemed to find it comforting just the same. She scowled at him.
“Some Midgardian reporter wants an interview. An interview.”
“Are they going to shoot photos of you? Ask about your fashion sense?”
Valkyrie narrowed her eyes. “Is that what they do?” She paused. “How do you know anything about Midgardian news?”
Loki shrugged. “I stole some magazines from one of our generous volunteers. They’re appalling. I don’t recommend them.”
Valkyrie shook her head and stared at the empty bar. “You’re lucky,” she said. “No one’s trying to talk to you.”
Loki barked a laugh. “Yes,” he said, a little bitterly. “Lucky.”
“You are,” Valkyrie said. “If they were trying to talk to you they’d probably be trying to kill you. Right?”
Loki gave her a flat stare. “Thank you for that.”
She shrugged. “Just saying. You should be ready for that to change at some point. Someone’s going to start talking about Prince Loki and then you’re going to have some problems.”
Loki knew that was probably true. He’d thought about it a few times - he was almost surprised it hadn’t come up. Thus far the limited contact between most of the Aesir and any reporters - Thor had been careful about limiting access to their camp - and Thor’s explicit request to the Asgardians that they were to keep Loki’s name off their tongues had spared him, but that wasn’t likely to last forever. At that point...there would be some difficult decisions to make.
Some bleak part of him wondered what Thor would choose to do if Midgard’s authorities asked for his head.
“Thor’s not going to let them kill you,” Valkyrie said, apparently guessing his thoughts.
“Mm,” Loki said. “Even if it is me or Asgard’s safety here?”
“Thor doesn’t like ultimatums. He really wouldn’t like that one.” She leaned back. “I get all the fretting about that. ‘Oh, Valkyrie, what am I going to do about Loki? We can’t keep him secret forever!’”
Loki had to snort at her imitation, but he didn’t know how to explain to her that he was too aware of the fact that Thor had reached the end of his rope with him, the feeling that he was still walking a narrow bridge above a chasm and there was nothing to catch him if (when) he fell.
“You look like you could use a drink,” Valkyrie said.
“Have you left any alcohol in a five mile radius?” Loki asked caustically. She smiled a little toothily.
“I said you could use some,” she said. “Not that I had any.”
“Helpful.”
The toothy smile faded. “Make you a deal,” she said. “You come up with a way that I can avoid all these people who want me to be a hero, and I’ll threaten anyone who comes after your head with Dragonfang. Sound good?”
Loki gave her a crooked half smile. “I think I can figure something out.”
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SnK Episode 65 Poll Results (for Anime Only Watchers)
The poll closed with 98 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!
Please note that these are the results for the Anime Only Watchers’ poll. If you wish to see the results for the Manga Readers’ poll, click here.
Anime only watchers, beware of spoilers if you venture over to the manga readers’ poll results.
--
RATE THE EPISODE 94 Responses
Although a bit muted compared to last week, the response to this episode was still overwhelmingly positive, with 96.8% of people giving it a rating of 3 and higher. MAPPA’s on a roll!
Amazing!!!!
i just wanna see more!! 20 minutes is not enough. its too good
Awesome episode! Great pacing and the cgi was not too noticeable.
WAAAAYYYYY TOO HYPE
WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING MOMENTS WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 93 Responses
Mikasa and Levi took the spotlight this week! 30.1% of viewers felt most hyped up by Mikasa’s “explosive” reintroduction to the anime, while 22.6% were stoked to see Levi take on Porco to save Eren. 18.3% were most hyped by the Survey Corps taking on the Jaw Titan and the subsequent cliffhanger.
THE CGI CONTINUES TO BE A POINT OF CONTENTION. BE HONEST, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE EXECUTION OF CGI SO FAR THIS SEASON? 93 Responses
Just under 50% of responses seemed to indicate that they thought MAPPA was doing very well with the CGI utilized. A little over 15% stated that although it was not their favorite, they understood that it could be a lot worse. Other responses (in order) were being neutral about the CGI, not liking it, but understanding the need for its usage and folks who adamantly rejected 3D animation.
I actually prefer CGI titans because of the way their movements looks, it looks almost slower, to me it fits very well with how the big titans are. Im not an anime guy at all so ive never seen cgi in other anime but i really like the way Mappa's CGI looks, it blends in very well. I dont like CGI people though, the shot with Jean throwing the marly soldier off the rooftop i didn't like very much.
I feel horrible saying this believe me... but I really vibed with the CGI up until this episode. I think maybe because it's the first time its been used on humans (OPM) rather then titans. I'm not massively put off though, I really apreciate the efforts this episode must have taken. TY Mappa
The episode is great no doubt, my only concern is the CG personally, as a 3D artist myself, I think I would prefer an all 2D medium like the battle at Stohess. Using 3D is fine as long as it blends seamlessly to the background, like kengan ashura, it's not perfect but bearable.
I honestly think that 2D will always 100% be better than cgi but I can understand why mappa is using cgi
It was fine in the other episodes, but in this episode, it looked overused and bit bad
HOW WAS EREN’S ROOFTOP SWAN DIVE? 94 Responses
When it came down to Eren’s swan rooftop dive (“Like a fallennn angel…”), the majority seemed to be impressed, with 68% giving it a score of 4 or higher. It was not a monolithic opinion however and many seemed also rated it poorly. Do better, Eren!
WHICH RETURNING CHARACTER’S ENTRANCE WAS YOUR FAVORITE IN THIS EPISODE? 94 Responses
The Survey Corps has returned! Of these reappearances, viewers most enjoyed Mikasa’s (48.9%), Levi’s (31.9%) and Sasha’s (14.9%) the most. Jean and Connie got a little less love, though we’re sure people were still happy to see them!
WHICH RETURNING CHARACTERS HAS THE BEST GLOW UP? 93 Responses
It would appear that the slight plurality sees Mikasa as having the best glow up out of the cast, followed by (in order) Eren, Sasha, Connie, Jean, Floch and Levi. The Old Captain doesn’t like to change up his style, we suppose.
Eren didn't have a glow up- he had a glow down.
Mikasa can stomp on me please god
OF ALL THE ORIGINAL CAST, WE STILL HAVE NOT SEEM ARMIN, HANGE OR HISTORIA YET. WHICH OF THE THREE ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING NEXT? 93 Responses
In relation to the previous question, we still haven’t seen 3 major members of the cast. Armin, Hange and Historia. When we asked which of the three you were most looking forward to seeing next, the slight majority (52.7%) expressed their excitement for seeing Armin again, followed by 11.8% wanting to see Hange most. Some others have also expressed their desire to see Historia again. 17.2% simply could not choose and 10.8% stated that they simply didn’t care about the 3 characters.
WHAT DID YOU THINK ABOUT THE WARHAMMER TITAN? 90 Responses
The Warhammer received an overwhelmingly positive response, with the majority expressing much excitement over both its design and powers. 15.6% noted that the design was a bit too creepy for their liking, but the powers were awesome. And on the flip side, 10% noted the Titan’s design was rather cool, in contrast to its rather OP ability. A select few did not enjoy either aspect.
Would probably enjoy it more if it belonged to someone that likely is not going to be just cannon fodder
HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE NEW UNIFORMS? 92 Responses
The Survey Corps returned sporting new uniforms to much fanfare. 30.4% of respondents really enjoy the upgrade, finding the suits to be badass. 23.9% couldn’t find the words and just settled for pure hype. 20.7% enjoy the new uniforms just as much as they enjoy the classic uniforms. 12% felt it was a much needed upgrade, though 10.9% don’t care at all about the uniform change.
I like both but I prefer the old design
EREN SAYS TO MIKASA, “YOU GUYS ACTUALLY CAME.” THIS IS FOLLOWED UP BY MIKASA ASKING EREN TO COME HOME. DOES THIS INSINUATE THAT EREN WENT TO THE MAINLAND ON HIS OWN? 90 Responses
The circumstances of the Survey Corps’ presence on the mainland continues to be a mystery. When we asked about whether Eren was there alone or not a few episodes ago, the majority believed that he was either there alongside the Survey Corps or was sent there by them. Overall, the feelings seem to be the same (that Eren came alongside the Survey Corps). 45.6% think that Mikasa’s words may have some other meaning and that things are way too planned out to be coincidence. 18.9% believe that Eren did go rogue, while 15.6% think that Eren didn’t necessarily go rogue, but wasn’t working with them for a while either. The remaining 20% have already been spoiled on this particular plot point.
THE ATTACK ON LIBERIO SEEMS TO PARALLEL THE BREACH OF SHIGANSHINA. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THIS EVENT IN COMPARISON? 92 Responses
Now that both sides of the conflict have had their rude awakening, we asked how you guys felt about the two events comparatively. 33.7% feel that both attacks were tragic, but still feel more empathy toward the Eldians on Paradis than they do toward those who were raised on Marley. At a tie, 22.8% of respondents felt that the victims of the Liberio attack got what was coming with them, while another 22.8% felt about the same amount of sympathy for the victims on both sides. 10.9% feel this is way worse than what happened in Shiganshina and feel more sympathy for the victims in Liberio.
I am yet to know the goals behind this attack.
Marley did this countless times so I don’t feel bad for them. I kind of feel for eldians tho bc they are brainwashed from a young age to give up their lives for a country who doesn’t give a shit about them.
Honestly they deserve what Eren is doing to them. Excluding Falco, no one outside of Paradis has earned my sympathy, even with the additional context.
SADLY, UDO AND ZOFIA DID NOT SURVIVE THE ATTACK ON LIBERIO. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THEIR DEATHS? 91 Responses
Udo and Zofia have joined the ranks of characters who tagged along with the main cast for a while only to be killed off for character development. 25.3% anticipated at least one of them to die, but not both. Another tie on this poll, 24.2% stated that they were disappointed and was hoping to see more of them, while another 24.2% didn’t care about them at all. 14.3% are happy to ditch the focus on them in favor of more familiar characters, and 8.8% feel pure and utter devastation.
Good riddance Warrior scum
Sad but allows for Gabi’s development
sad but okay. death is common in this anime.
EREN AND FLOCH’S LAST INTERACTION IN S3 WAS A VERY TENSE ARGUMENT. NOW IT SEEMS FLOCH IS DEDICATED TO EREN’S CALL TO ACTION, SHIFTING THE “NECESSARY DEVIL” STATUS FROM ERWIN ONTO HIM. WHAT DO YOU THINK THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS LIKE NOW? 91 Responses
Eren and Floch were anything but BFF’s at the closing of season 3. Now Floch seems to be wholly devoted to Eren’s cause… What changed? 28.6% believe that nothing has actually changed in terms of their relationship, but that Floch simply just latched onto Eren’s fight in need of a new devil. 23.1% feel that they still aren’t friends, but are in more comfortable “ally” territory. 15.4% aren’t sure what to make of it. Smaller handfuls feel that they either grew to become friends and/or co-conspired to attack Liberio together. 22% are already spoiled on the details.
Floch is easily persuaded...and annoying 🤷♀️
WE SEE GABI GRAB THE GUARD’S FUN AFTER WITNESSING SASHA KILL HIM. WHAT DO YOU THINK MIGHT HAPPEN? 90 Responses
Gabi moves headstrong into the fight, wanting to play her part in defending her hometown. A large chunk of anime only viewers have been spoiled on future developments for her character. But for those still in the dark - 24.4% feel that she will successfully kill a member of the Survey Corps. 21.1% aren’t sure what to expect, while 10% think she will only manage to injure someone in the Survey Corps. Smaller amounts feel she won’t be successful in any capacity or may even die herself.
ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE?
Epic episode, survey corps come back, OH YEAH, but I wished they didn’t use CGI on humans and bettered the CGI on Titans.
It really makes me sad how Eren is continuing the cycle of revenge by killing innocent Marleyan civilians, but it makes sense for his character.
Real cool ep but w h e r e a r m i n
It sucks that I like the warriors and the Corp bc both of them are victims in different way so seeing them have to go head to head sucks. They all deserve better
SO great I loved it! However, I missed Reiner, Falco, and Zeke. I hope they're okay :-) RIP Udo and Zofia :-(
I think I need more dialogue between the old crew to really settle back in with them. I kinda believe that Mappa's still trying to 'click', they obviously can't just get it right immediately. Other then that I loved the titan scenes, more than ODM scenes 😔
This was a great episode and I was literally vibrating in my seat from excitement! I think MAPPA is doing a great job with the animation and the music works really well with the action. Can’t wait for the rest of the season!
I miss wit studio
Willy seems to have his first daughter really early, he looks like 30 !
I’d say the episode as a whole is a solid 8-9/10, the cgi in some parts really ruins the moment for me
WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 88 Responses
Thanks again to everyone who participated!
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What’s Kirsty’s relationship with Jess like? (I know you touched on it a bit in the Yale ask but I wanna know more!)
Short answer: “true friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people together” meets “slow burn found family”
Long Answer: oh boy buckle up we’re getting an Outline™ bc I really don’t know how to sum it up bc it’s a lot of growth and shit! it’s like... many many paragraphs so I’m tossing this under a cut bc i don’t want to be murdered lmao
(I’m just... v proud of how much work went into planning out their whole arc and how the dynamic shifts and how certain plots play into things and I just wanted to share it all I couldn’t chill and I’m like half sorry but thank you for this ask I love them)
So when they first meet they don’t really get along because they’re just generally both kind of abrasive and shit, like it’s not personal on either end but they both generally push people away so that they don’t open themselves up to get hurt which makes their first couple of meetings kind of rough
but then there’s the dinner at Lorelai’s and Kirsty went outside because the whole vibe was just setting her on edge, and she hears the Lorelai rant bullshit (hi lorelai he’s seventeen and your an adult grow the fuck up) and as he leaves she goes after him — she tries to apologize for “my mom being... well, the way she is” and Jess immediately snaps back that he doesn’t want her pity, and Kirsty just shrugs and goes “nah dude I get it, parents suck. My dad is a piece of shit and my mom, well, you’ve met her... not to mention she named Rory after herself and me after my piece of shit dad so I’m sure you can guess who her favourite child is” and just keeps it very chill and Jess takes that a lot better than pity and they end up talking for a bit and are like “yeah okay I can get along with you” and like they aren’t close but they both like pissing Taylor off and giving Luke ulcers so it works well enough
Kirsty absolutely flips her shit when Taylor calls the town meeting about Jess like she tears into him more aggressively than anyone has seen before and basically tells them all to shut the fuck up and “let him at least settle in before you pull out the fucking pitchforks” and goes off on them all for trying to bully a seventeen year old kid out of a town he didn’t even choose to move to and like Luke still gets there and flips his shit too but Kirsty is completely feral calling out the hypocrisy and telling them to get off their high horses and pull their heads out of their asses — like they might not be close but Kirsty is so far beyond pissed at the idea of Taylor calling a meeting literally just to get everyone to hate Jess that she can’t just stand there quietly
Fast forward a bit and they’re getting along a bit better, Kirsty spends so much time at the diner that she and Jess have taken to talking during Jess’ shifts and Kirsty helps out when she can so they’re starting to actually get along, Kirsty has figured out the tells for when Jess just can’t deal with people anymore and will make up all sorts of excuses to get him a break (anything from ‘hey can you read over this essay’ to ‘hey did you remember to grab that book from upstairs’ to basically anything else that comes to mind) which he appreciates and when he’s on his breaks he sits at the counter to do homework with her
By the Bracebridge dinner they’re like actually friends, and when Jess meets Tristan for the first time he’s fully prepared to hate him but when he sees how shitty Lorelai is being about Tristan he’s just like “okay guess we’re in the same boat” so the three of them end up working together to stay as far away from Lorelai as possible for most of the night and Kirsty is just very grateful for the buffer because like she just can’t deal with Lorelai and Jess remembers her comment on the “you can guess who the favourite is” and starts to see how much Lorelai’s disapproval actually bothers Kirsty
fast forward even more to Christopher coming to town and with Sherry and all that and oof Kirsty is not okay like her relationship with Christopher is terrible and Jess kind of knows this already (based on the fact that Kirsty asked Luke to stand in for her dad at the debutante ball because she wanted nothing to do with Christopher; and he’s heard her bitch about him before) but when Christopher and Sherry come to the house, Kirsty excuses herself for “dance rehearsal” and runs over to the diner and Luke is out at the moment and Kirsty is Not Okay™ and Jess is the one who sees her just standing in the doorway shaking and clearly about to start crying and he just quietly leads her up to the apartment and sits down and lets her sort of collapse on the couch and she tells him about Christopher and about how unreliable and flakey he always was and how Luke has always been more her dad than him and he always shows up and tries to play happy family and then bails as soon as he gets bored or something comes up and about how now he’s apparently changing and becoming mr family man and why wasn’t she worth changing for
and jess has no idea how to handle this whole breakdown because he's a little bit emotionally stunted (which is fair and so is she) but it definitely resonates with him and he ends up sitting next to her and telling her that if Christopher wasn’t willing to change for she and Rory then it’s because of him not her and trying to comfort her even though he really doesn’t know how, and ends up opening up to her about Liz and his life before Stars Hollow too. It’s more than either of them have shared with anyone before and it’s very strange tbh — at this point they’re definitely veering into the friend category but neither of them would admit it, not to mention they don’t talk that often because neither of them wants to deal with a Lorelai Gilmore Hissy Fit, you know?
(also a sidenote, Tristan is completely chill about literally all of this like he and Kirsty are the healthiest relationship and have very good communication skills now and he's just like “hey I don’t live nearby and Kirsty hates cars, I’m just glad she has someone to talk to”)
and okay so now we’re at the episode where Lorelai accuses Jess of stealing the bracelet and this is just as Kirsty is getting home, and Lorelai is more of a bitch than in canon (but seriously Lorelai grow up and let Dean deal with his own relationship issues ugh) — as Jess is leaving, Kirsty turns around and calls Lorelai out on being an absolute bitch and on the fact that she’s an adult and Jess is seventeen and to grow the fuck up because she’s acting like her mother and believe it or not she doesn’t actually know everything. Kirsty then sort of storms off, and Jess ends up walking with her and just goes “hey, thanks for that” and Kirsty goes “don’t mention it” and they just sort of laugh and part ways so she can go to Miss Patty’s but anyways I’m soft for Kirsty fighting the entire town for him
then we have the hilarious scene of Kirsty looking Dean in the eye, knowing full well that he literally just saw her getting out of Tristan’s car, and going “yes I’m completely in love with jess is that a problem” and jess going “oh Kirsty I’m really flattered but while you were gone I started talking to Paris and I think I’m in love” and they’re just such little shits I love them
and okay now I promise we’re getting close to the speedrun part of this relationship lmaooo
so Kirsty is the one who ends up tutoring Jess and like he’s not on the verge of flunking because Kirsty has already been forcing him to do his homework semi regularly but he has trouble staying on task (he’s a mood) so Kirsty is basically there to make sure that he gets all of his final projects done — they take a break to go get ice cream and the car accident happens and Kirsty gets injured and she’s having a panic attack and she begs Jess to stay with her so he does, she lies to the hospital staff and tells them that he’s her step-brother so that he can stay with her because she’s afraid of hospitals and doesn’t want to be alone. He stays with her until they hear Lorelai and then sneaks out the window; at this point Kirsty has finally called him her friend — while high on painkillers and introducing him to Richard and Emily, who she had him call because she knew Lorelai wouldn’t (they like him much better in this !verse than canon because Kirsty knows how to play them lmao)
Lorelai still pitches a fit to Luke and Jess still leaves and jesus christ when Kirsty finds out about all of that she flips her shit even more than she did at the town meeting, calls Lorelai petty and selfish and a shit mother and tells her that she’s more like Emily than she wants to admit, and this is very possibly when Kirsty finally drops one of my favourite lines of hers — “you and Rory might be best friends first and mother daughter second but I never needed a best friend, I needed a mom. And now I don’t want either.” — and crashes at either Luke’s or Miss Patty’s (and is not thrilled when she finds out that Lorelai called Christopher and that he’s now back and awnting to play dad again)
fast forward and Kirsty knows Jess is in New York but they haven’t talked and Sookie’s wedding happens and Kirsty and Lorelai have their huge fight (this is the other point where that favourite line might happen, I’m torn) and Kirsty packs up and moves to New York for the summer to play Victoria in Cats on Broadway
She gets to New York and she’s staying at a hotel provided by the production company and she’s lonely and miserable and she’s never really been alone before and low and behold she stumbles into some diner on the verge of tears (just a bad day and everything is too much and she’s about to break) when all of a sudden she hears “wow, deja vu. Coffee?” and she turns around and low and behold it’s Jess Mariano. She accepts and sits at the diner until his shift is done and then they leave together and catch up and he offers to be her tour guide, and over the next week they become really close (all of both of their coworkers think that they’re siblings at this point) and blah blah lots of details I won’t get into bc seriously how many paragraphs is this thing, but Emily and Richard end up renting Kirsty this huge penthouse apartment and she manages to convince them to let Jess live with her and they become super close and kind of codependent and skip right over the friend stage to the “this is my brother, Jess” stage lmao and basically everyone in stars hollow except for lorelai and rory (bc kirsty and lorelai aren’t talking for most of the summer and rory is in dc so she and kirsty aren’t talking much either) know because they all came out for her opening weekend and everyone thinks it’s hilarious and their new york friends think Luke is their dad bc he called them “my kids” without thinking about it
also Tristan visits as much as he can get away with and seriously he and Jess become really good friends too and they’re just like, an iconic trio okay I love them
fast forward they go back to stars hollow together the day of the summer festival thing and that’s when Lorelai and Rory find out about their friendship and Lorelai is Not Happy and then Tristan shows up and the three of them are being adorable and having a great time and Lorelai flips out and there’s yet another fight (seriously Lorelai pls stop assuming you always know best, you don’t) and the fight is angsty but there’s the softness of jess finally really accepting that Kirsty meant it when she said that things weren’t going to change when they got back to stars hollow and they don’t and it’s just great
and in season 3 they’re just still all soft and codependent and Lorelai is forced to accept that Jess knows Kirsty better than she does and Rory has some really fun “what the actual fuck” moments watching Lorelai & Luke and Kirsty & Jess have the exact same arguments because Kirsty did inherit Lorelai’s ability to annoy people into doing things like participating in town events and season 3 is just very very soft and there are so many scenes/episodes that I’m so excited for
and anyways this was so long and I’m sorry but also I’m not because like i just really love this dynamic and I want to just like skip two seasons and just write new york & season three because i love them so muchhhhhhhh and anyways yeah
TLDR they’re a slowburn rivals to found family with a speedrun towards the end and i fucking love them so much
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