#kind of a rant but wtvr

[rotting-and-so-beautiful]

sharing this here even tho nobody’s gonna really care but it’s my blog and i can do what i want

the hozier brainrot has been mingling side by side with the TMA brainrot and this playlist is the idiot baby of that.

explanation of why i chose each song under the cut :p

The Eye 👁️ - Take Me To Church: despite being first on the playlist i actually struggled a bit to find a song that would fit, but i felt like TMTC had some really good lyrics for the Eye (“I’ll tell you my sins so you can sharpen your knife,” “let me give you my life,” etc)

The Lonely 🌫️ - To Be Alone: i feel like this one is pretty self-explanatory. even though it’s technically about being with another person, it really emphasizes the “no one else is around” vibe. also…like, the title. yknow?

The Desolation 🔥 - Arsonist’s Lullaby: again, even more self-explanatory. the theme and lyrics of burning and fire and destruction. very Agnes Montague coded.

The Buried ⚰️ - Work Song: this one was mainly chosen for the chorus lyrics. “when my time comes around, lay me gently in the cold dark earth. no grave could hold my body down, i’d crawl home to her.” it feels very reminiscent of Daisy and Jon crawling out of the coffin.

The Vast ✈️ - I, Carrion (Icarian): for me it was either this or Sunlight, since both have references to Icarus and falling from the sky into the ocean, which all scream Vast. but I, Carrion places more emphasis on the actual fall, the wind rushing by and watching the sky expand, so i felt it was a better fit.

The Dark 🌑 - Son of Nyx: this one was hard. all the songs that i felt like could fit the Dark better I had already assigned to other fears, so this one is really off vibes and the title alone since SON doesn’t actually have lyrics. i still think it fits though, as the song does have a very “dark” feel to it.

The End 🪦 - Abstract (Psychopomp): originally i was going to assign the End to All Things End, but i actually feel like this song fits better. it feels so close and zoomed into the actual theme of death. “the fear in its eyes, gone out in an instant.” yeah…very End vibes.

The Corruption 🪱- It Will Come Back: this one too is based very much on the over all vibes as well as the literal lyrics. the idea of showing something kindness (being a host) until it will not leave feels very much like an infestation of sorts. where do we draw the line between a lover and a parasite? yeah this is Jane’s song.

The Flesh 🥩 - Eat Your Young: do i even have to explain? i can see this one also working for the Slaughter, but the Flesh is all about meat, eating, cannibalism, etc. “it’s quicker and easier to eat your young,” “i’m starving, darling,” “old and young are welcome to the meal.” it also touches on how people just want to consume, to own, and to have.

The Slaughter 🪖 - Nobody’s Solider: another one which is pretty self-explanatory. the fear of being seen as nothing but a tool for violence, the disdain for fighting. it’s an anti-war song, ofc it’s perfect for the Slaughter.

The Hunt 🐺 - In The Woods Somewhere: fun fact this song is actually the reason i decided to make this playlist. i just felt like it reminded me so much of when Basira had to hunt down Daisy in s5, putting her out of her misery. it just radiates Hunt vibes as well with its lyrics, both the pov of the hunter and the prey. “i turned and ran, to save a life i didn’t have.”

The Spiral 🌀- To Noise Making (Sing): this one was also a bit tricky but i actually think it fits pretty well, though it does lack the sense of fear that a lot of the others capture better. the idea of singing without a rhythm or purpose but just to make noise feels very Spiral-esque. also the obligatory “how would a melody describe itself?”

The Stranger 🎭 - Foreigner’s God: it was a tough choice between this and Someone New, but i think FG has a lot more of that fear and heartbreak that the Stranger stresses. A few of the lines are just so Stranger it’s ridiculous. “always a well-dressed fraud,” “wondering who i copy,” “all that i’ve been taught, and every word i’ve got, it foreign to me.”

The Web 🕷️- Swan Upon Leda: the Web was also a bit hard for me to pick because i was so caught up in the mindset of the Web being arachnophobia, but then i realized that such a big part of it manipulation and the loss of control over your own body. That control and loss of bodily autonomy is obviously a theme in this song, so i think it fits.

The Extinction ☢️ - All Things End: i actually wasn’t going to include the Extinction in the playlist, but i just felt like ATE fit it so well, i threw it in there anyways. the idea that all things are finite, everything will end, and we will all return to dust we were made from can feel pretty End (like i said, i was originally going to assign it to that one) but it just feels so much bigger than one person, and much closer to the Extinction imo.

[angellwingss]

Wasn’t going to go on a big rant but you know what since that other post is gaining traction yeah I think I will. So big long rant under the cut. Lolll

I feel like. A lot of people might tell me ‘it’s not that deep’ but to me it is that deep.

I don’t have a problem with JayVik or it’s shippers like. At all. I just think some of them are à really good demonstration of like. Every bad thing when it comes to fandom ever LMAO.

Once again I am (supposed to be) writing a whole big long essay about this already so I will try and keep this kind of short and sweet and it might be a bit lacking but wtvr.

I think a lot of JayVik fans tend to be white queer people. Someone left a tag on my OG post that said basically ‘my take is I’m a faggot and I don’t have to care about a character if I don’t want to’ and no hate to that person cuz you’re right, but this is exactly the kind of stuff that made me make that first post.

I feel like a lot of white queer people have an issue with seeing outside their own identity? If that makes sense? This is seen time and time again with the way some of them behave when big movements happen online, some have a tendency to centre themselves and whatnot so i think it’s kind of the same thing.

It makes total sense that a queer person would prefer queer ships and would prefer JayVik over MelJay, that is not a crime. But I do think part of that is because they can’t relate/identify with Mel or see themselves in her like they can with Jayce or Viktor.

I hate to also make it about feminism but i think a lot of you guys are super like. Male centred, like just in your attraction which once again, not the issue not a crime. But i think it’s also why CaitVi, which is a canon queer ship, although popular is still not quite as popular as JayVik despite being canon. Women fetishizing gay men in fandom is not something new, which I think might play a small part in it- I’ve seen a lot of people especially back in s1 infantilizing Viktor and acting like he had no agency or independence and that he NEEDS Jayce to take care of him (that’s another thing. Ableism(looks at you with my eyes)) and they also do the same thing with Jayce where they act like he had 0 agency with any decisions he makes and that he’s like a big dumb baby who doesn’t know anything politics. Hey, guys. That’s a grown man.

My main issue isn’t that people prefer JayVik over MelJay it’s just that some shippers demonize Mel to an insane degree, blame her for getting in the way of their ship (this is also happening right now with Maddie- there’s a leak going around saying that she gets with Caitlyn and people are so upset that this character is getting some INSANE hate and I feel like that’s the same thing going on.)

they blame her for ‘stealing’ Jayce etc etc like. Idk. You don’t have to ship MelJay but I wish more people would appreciate Mel just as a character- imo she is super interesting and has a great story but she’s only ever seen and ‘the other woman’. I’ve seen people say she isn’t like, well characterized and that her story entirely revolves around Jayce which. Yeah she’s definitely heavily involved with him in s1 but she’s clearly got a lot more going on than just that and you would know that if you GAF 🗣️🗣️

for just being. Who she is. I think Mel deserves more attention just in the fandom and it’s just frustrating. People making memes about Jayce going insane over Viktor leaving but like. Mel also just got fucking kidnapped guys. His lover has just vanished without a trace why is nobody also talking about that !!!! Why can’t he care about both these people at the same time !!!!!!!

Anyway I’m not nearly well equipped enough to talk more in-depth about like. Any of this but I do think the demonization of Mel and refusal to see her relationship with Jayce as it is can often times be boiled down to racism like straight up. And also things like the fetishization of gay men in fandom and just things like that are sometimes what can lead to female characters- even the well written ones to be shelved and pushed aside in favour of their male counterparts.

Obligatory ‘not all JayVik fans’ obviously a lot of you are awesome, shouldn’t have to say this. If I’m not aiming for you, you shouldn’t be getting shot.

[uptownbird]

now, who exactly is thea?

「  ₊  ☆  ﾟ  geraldine viswanathan,  she/her,  cis woman  」  INCOMING  TEXT: omg  hv  u  met  CYNTHIA “THEA” CHAKRABARTI  of  the  NARIZA BOIS  yet  ?  they’re  one  of  the  crew’s  mechanics  n  actually  go  by  BLUEBIRD.  the twenty five  y/o  is  typically  seen  hanging  arnd  aventura mall.  allegedly  they’re  frm  windsor square, ca  n  hv  been  w/  the  crew  for  A YEAR.  wtvr.  just  watch  out  for  them,  k  ?  ttyl  !  「  ₊ ☆ﾟ  panda,  24,  she/her,  cst  」

interview

- when  did  you  first  realize  you  had  a  passion  for  cars  /  racing?

oh, never. i am indifferent to cars and actually dislike racing, which is such a childish and crass sport. thea, trying to seem as cool as she is uptight, obviously does not say that out loud, instead deciding to lie through her pearly-white teeth; “it might have started half-a-decade ago, i believe. while driving one of my parents´-”  rolls-royce, bugatti, mercedes,  “-car. their car! an, um, red car.” reeeal smooth thea. you really cannot think of any ordinary car brands???? you work with cars for christ’s sake. “anyway. i really liked that car! and driving, and stuff. so when i ran away from home…” okay you got it now thea, just bend the truth a liiiittle bit. “…i immediately began applying for jobs that were automobile-related, of course. I especially wanted to be a professional car mechanic.” god, please let that be accurate terminology, “what could be better than making money out of something i'm passionate about, right?” so far the conversation has been at least 85% false. ughhh. 

now, what actually happened was this: cynthia, now thea, ran away from a very opulent home and closed-minded parents. the girl had never worked a day in her life and the only place that would hire her was a tiny automobile repair shop with an exceedingly compassionate owner that somehow saw potential in her. there, thea was taught everything she now knows about the trade. life made her understand (the hard way) that knowing latin and being classically trained in the violin wasn't worth anything outside of her now-abandoned bubble.

- tell  the  story  behind  your  alias.

the girl feels so relieved when hearing this question that a real smile quickly spreads over her face, covering the fake-and-practiced one she had been showing off just before. “oh i love birds! i truly do. for so many years i also envied them, if you can believe it. the fact that i could never be free like them filled me with silly jealousy and- what? i am being completely serious! just think about it, birds´ ability to fly is an evolutionary advantage; unlike us grounded mammals, they can go anywhere they like, whenever they fancy. now, do not think i believe birds to be almighty,” not anymore at least, “but the limits they have are nothing compared to the ones that we, people, place on our kind. wait. and now that i truly think about it…” thea, against her own judgement, is currently committing the cardinal sin of ranting to a complete stranger. “...the only animal cruel enough to place birds in cages is humanity.” so maybe, i have always been a bird. just a caged one.

the girl stops talking for long enough to realize that all that thinking-out-loud was said, well, out loud. shit. “well, but that was just a bunch of nonsense, wasn't it? silly me! might have to get checked for either a fever or brain-eating bacteria!” probably the second option. her fake smile returns, all teeth and zero emotion. time to end the conversation, now. “and um, bluebirds are, of course, lovely and quite intelligent.” smile and shut up thea. this cannot happen again.

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headcanons

thea is a lesbian, though she isn’t completely aware of the fact. she tends to avoid the topic even in her own mind.

a hopeless romantic at heart, the girl keeps romance novels hidden under her mattress. her favorite ones having their first pages decorated with expensive lipstick.

growing up in a very high-class family, she began to feel suffocated with everything that was expected of her. As the only child, her parents were molding her into a perfect heiress. realizing she is attracted to girls (which was not part of their plan) was the tipping point, and thea ran away from home at 17 years old.

she cries easily, especially in movies and when arguing with someone.

thea is the nosiest person alive, and will go out of her way to get details about any gossip she becomes aware of. even if it doesn’t concern her. especially if it doesn’t concern her.

so desperately she wants to seem cool and collected, though she does an awful job on acting the part. mostly because of her intense personality.

even though the chatterbox loves the sound of her own voice, there are two things she tries to keep hidden at all costs: her last name, and anything about her life before she ran away from home.

her hair is a mullet? maybe? It is clear that whoever cut that has no experience with scissors whatsoever (thea cuts her own hair).

her fashion style is odd, to say the least; a mix of thrifted clothes and expensive brand pieces ran to the ground. thea likes to consider it “punk”, though she would be the only one to call it that. 

even though she is not thrilled to be a mechanic, since working with nariza bois she has begun to actually enjoy it. after all, thea comes to realize that modding is way more fun than simple automobile repairs. and she feels this job gives her an edge, in a way. 

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if u made it all the way 2 here mwah

[silver-wield]

Stygian pisses me off. Along people like her who say wishy washy stuff like "at most he probably thought she attractive he not blind, probably has fleeting feelings but those are bland compared to his feelings for tifa" where? Where are those?! Some talk about bro code but even before the whole Zack thing, he's already so mean in costa del sol. He's already Disgusted at the idea of a "couple gondola event". He's already mean in Remake even after that Cursed resolution. In fact it was after the whole Zack bit that he started trying to be kinder and more tolerating. It's No bro code, that concept was Never a thing he thought of. Do you know what he thought of? He DIDN'T think "oh zack gf, i should back away" , rather it was "oh zack gf, I should be more kinder because everything Zack cares about I care about as well". I bet he was super guilty and saddened about not remembering Zack and not telling his parents what's up. He Loves Zack third to Tifa and Claudia. aerith isn't even close enough to the list, heck he was more cool with barret and yuffie. He hit it off with yuffie so easily and they just met!, she can even understand his perverted tendencies about Tifa. Something not all of them see. Actually it might just be her who knows lol.

Anyway, these Statements Don't hold up and will contradict because it's Not canon. I just don't understand how they see these things that Never existed? Did they play the game? Did we play the same game? I don't understand why even entertain this? Do they Not understand the material given to them? Why are they even here? There is so much about FF7, and "ltd" Doesn't even exist. It's all in their head that Only loves to argue but stray away from canon and factual evidences.

Every time i hear them talk about him and his pov about aerith, it just makes me get turned off of him and want to Never support ct. Heck, I'd be the #1 to fight against it. I'm starting to wonder if they even like tifa, cloud or even this IP. Nojima didn't write him this way for them to downgrade and water down his character and his story and feelings about tifa.

This guy NEVER wavered. And while I think aerith was only saying what she said in her resolution as a sign she Never understood him at all (creepy date was Very Clear he Doesn't see Nor will ever see her that way, yet she missed this lol) and was indeed only talking to herself. All these so called "attraction/ fleeting feelings" some think AREN'T REAL, IT'S NEVER THERE. It's all in your imagination and you have to ask if they even enjoy FF7, tifa, cloud and ct to begin with. Or do they wanna hop onto c /a's train that if zack and tifa didn't exist this that wtvr despite Nojima writing about how these characters are Totally Incompatible in ALL levels.

Srry for the rant. I'm just so Sick of this wishy washy attitude. I think FF7 fans are so lucky to have so much material to fight against these but some ignore them. If this was a real debate, they've lost immediately. You deal with evidence and canon as support. Not use essays, what ifs , and half assed assertions such as those. It just sounds like they're afraid of being wrong. But foolishly they already are. Credibility goes down Immediately.

I understand that frustration when clotis make Aerith apologist comments that encourage dumbasses because they'll use it as a talking point to say "even clotis think Cloud was attracted to her!!!!" which is why I take myself away from those kinds of discussions because it's bullshit and I don't wanna argue with moots.

Before we had the material ulti plus scene showing that Cloud literally didn't recognise Aerith in her red dress a lot of us went "well he's male and she's dressed up 🤷" but then we got the scenario and the script that showed he literally didn't know it was even her and he was just surprised some random woman is walking towards him with a red carpet being rolled out and shit.

And then with the swimsuits, he isn't even looking at Aerith. He glances at her face then immediately checks out Tifa and we get that in the first person pov, so we see exactly where he's looking. Then he gets all shy and stammers, and they flirt. But, even when Aerith also matches he doesn't reply to her saying she needs help with the sunscreen, so he avoids her flirtation. He also constantly shows and tells her that he isn't happy with her yanking him around and calling everything a date.

So, given the literal evidence, no cloti should still be going around saying he finds her attractive. He clearly doesn't.

And idky we must have Cloud seeing her as attractive or being attracted just because she's a woman. She ain't pretty. That's not just me saying it. That's literally what we've been told throughout the games. She was called homely in wall market, Zack said she's only pretty from certain angles, nobody compliments her looks or style, and yet we're supposed to believe that the man who is panting after Tifa Lockhart, who is literally described as a bombshell, would also find someone subpar attractive and be interested in that because he's a man.

That's a pretty shitty way to view Cloud.

[lullabyalikpoptarot]

Omg thank you lots for the sunoo career reading! He said he has a gift prepared for us so hopefully is that cover and that's the solo opportunity you gor from your cards! I really dont know what's about that boy, maybe it's because he has a lot of hidden potential but I can't help but being interested in what he does next. Ive been distancing from kpop from a while now, only checking content and music from the groups I like from time to time, but I keep getting pulled in to support him, it's like when you watch a great but obscure show and you want everyone to watch it to see how great it is. Maybe it's because the way he is managed doesn't really make sense in my head too. like from the time iland ended he should have been promoted as a vocal/personality member like seungkwan from svt, though I'm not familiar with svt at all but I as a non-fan I recognize seungkwan for being a great singer and being great in variety shows, belift should have pushed that image for him.

In fact, all of them could be managed so much better, no shit they all seem pretty frustrated with their careers. But specially for sunoo, like you said, I dont think he will get to shine his brightest while he's in the group/company as it is. I love his idol activities and it would break my heart for enhypen to disband but he's definitely being hidden in there. In the end something will have to give, sunoo will have to bring a gun to those contract negotiations.

Your reading gave me sumn to look forward. Hopefully whoever that higher up is gets fired or wtvr. I dont think it's heeseung either, maybe he is mirroring that energy...? yknow I always saw heeseung as kind of the leader when it comes to the artistic part of enhypen career, after he helped produce(? or direct(? bite me recording.

Another note, I don't really remember where I saw it, but there was another sunoo career reading where they got the lovers and 2 of cups, and they talked about partnerships too. Maybe he's the type to date with the people he works with 😭 I dont know, I can't remember one example but I think there are plenty of actors/musician that do the same, and when a project ends so does the relationships 😭 lmaoo.

Anyway, talking about dating, I'm sure you already got a request for this but maybe you should do a reading about jungwon and winter situation. Despite what he says, jungwon has a lots of friends in the industry, good for him! they all seem to adore him and see his as a pure person. If they are really friends and considering their personalities I'm sure winter and jungwon relationship is v cute too, sadly we wont get interactions ever because of weird fans :(

that's all sorry for the long rant I wanted to get it out my chest

Interesting message here. No worries about it being long. I enjoyed what you had to share. Now, are people sure it was Jungwon? Like, I saw a picture, but the person was covered up, so I am not sure if that was really him.

Now, from the cards I am getting if they did meet up, it was for business, like I see these two wanting to come together, because they both may dislike how things are in the industry, and they seem to want to make changes to that. When I pulled cards for their interaction. I got the Queen of Pentacles, Justice. Emperor rv, 7 of wands, also got the 10 of cups and Queen of Cups rv. They both energetically seem frustrated with the control they have over them and want more joys and stability. I am not getting much about a close connection here. The Queen of Cups rv gives me there ain't nothing romantic I am seeing. They could be friends coming together over issues they have about the business.

Pulled some astrology cards for more clarification, got the House 2, Virgo, the Sun, once again something about finances, money, security and wanting things to improve here. This is giving me if these two do come together it is about how messed up this industry and comparing notes. It is pretty business related.

Now, that doesn't mean they can't be dating. People can date and just be about that business lol Tarot can only show so much. This is just showing the energy of them two. I am not going to pretend that I know if the rumors are true or not. At the end of the day, they can do whatever they want, but I am not even certain they were meeting up and if that was even him.

[spritebrain]

i am cringe but i am free.

i’ll probably be posting pfp masks, mby some ponytown screenshots (if i can get my computer to work properly), gacha characters, and maybe some art

i may use typing quirks in some posts! those will include a translated version under the og text<3

important !

> about my art! <

- personally i don’t want to “improve as an artist”, i’m having fun where i’m at and i do it for fun so yeah,, i don’t want criticism on my art, even if it is constructive/kind/ect.

- do not repost/use my art without clear credit. (either link directly to this tumblr acc or actually write my @ in a way people can copy/paste)

- this is the only place i will be posting my art and masks so if anyone posts anything anywhere other than this acc they are not me.

—🍀—

> i do not condone bullying or harassment. of any kind. for any reason. <

- do not use my masks, take inspiration from my characters or my rendition of characters, or interact whatsoever if you tell people to off themselves over shipping, using neo pronouns or identifying as an endogenic system. if you doxx or support the doxxing of people like furries, age/pet regressors, therians, and paraphiles. etc.

- you are not welcome if you express or condone any kind of hatred over anyone for something they cannot control.

—🌱—

> i don’t bite i prommy <

- i do take requests for both art and pfp masks (unfortunately i cannot guarantee i’ll be able to do everything requested due to a current lack of motivation but i will try my best)

- also just like, feel free to say hi! tell me abt ur day or wtvr (like plz don’t vent to me randomly w/o askin but) like i love listening to ppl rant/info dump, i need more fandoms, gimme plz!

- also if u make something cool i’d love to see

<3

[gothambelfry]

per the . rant. on my last post i also think thats why im drawn more to rimlaine as the skk "predecessors" of sorts than fukumori. rimlaine are very intentionally written to also parallel skk but like. as the bad ending.

fukumori don't really have that kind of parallel other than having worked together for a bit and now being on opposite sides. maybe if we got more of them in current time fighting together or wtvr id like it more but rn they just dont connect together the way skk & sskk do. but rimlaine are very obviously a cautionary tale kinda thing and just have a bigger effect. To Me.

[angeliciaaaaaaa]

So like, I wanna rant cuz im so frustrated, but at the same time im grateful, but AHHH WHYYY. So I'm in a debate team and we compete at this inter-high school competition and our school has like a "karasuno-fallen-crows" type situation where our seniors who'd won 3 consecutive championships have already graduated and like there's even a legit rival school that was always in the finals and always runner-up, it's giving anime but wtvr. SO after the seniors graduated the next years kind of became a series of our insti only making it to the quarterfinals or the semifinals and like just watching the rival team win the championship every year. THIS YEAR was my last year and we were like the Team A (and I had seniority because i was there since like 8th grade so the pressure was realllll)and guess what?? WE MADE IT TO THE FINALS!!! Only ONE MORE WIN to reclaim the crown. We lost!! ON A SPLIT DECISION!!! I feel like the corpse bride fr TT There were 5 adjudicators and it was 3-2 vote. And I cant even understand whyyy?? And it's even more frustating that it wasn't unanimous meaning that if we had been able to convince just 1 more adjudicator we would have won and it makes me so frustrated to the point of tears BUT IT FEELS SO wrong to cry because there were a lot of teams who didn't even make it to the finals and like our teachers were already super proud of us and like it's not fair because i wanted to win for them, too, and we had alumnis who had lost the years, previous who were watching and supporting us and just– AHHHHH It would've been so nice if we were able to reclaim that championship. But yeah. Be gracious in defeat and all that. I'm going to miss it so muchhh i can't believe I'm graduating this year! I also don't know if ill be continuing debate in college, but i want to!!!

So yeahhh thank youu for indulging me lol.

Ps. To anyone curious, it was Asian Parliamentary and I'm a Whip.

I also hope no one i know will see this and connect it to me. Cause that would be embarassing.

Mwa

[me0wnz73r]

so. I want to rant again. About multiple things. But one thing at a time

So back in the day (a couple years back) my brother decided he wanted to act all kinds of up, right? And he’s always been a rapscallion ok. Like. He would beat on me and my sisters just cause. Straight abuse, cps (or wtvr it’s called in AL cause cpd ain’t called that here) was called a few times. Nothing done about it though. Okay, my little pity party abt getting the shit beat out of me by a 6’3 mf when I was 11 is almost over, but I just need to say how scary being picked up while in a chokehold and then promptly being suplexed is. And how scary it is to have that same guy say he’s gonna kill your entire family in their sleep and have to fight a bitch when he actually tried. Like, I was 5’3. this guy was 6’3. Terrifying shit like I’m just a guy.

anyway, my parents didn’t do shit about it, my step-mom actually beating the shit outta me n my siblings for things my step-brother did. But I digress. They did nothing, ok? Ok.

action was only taken when my brother actually started committing crimes (pulling a gun on some random dude and being a goddamn drug dealer + user apparently didn’t count but wtvr.) Those said crimes being two counts of grand theft auto (both cars had guns in them), assaulting my step-mother (broke her arm), and multiple “status offenses” of running away from home.

So yeah. And get this, action wasn’t even taken by the legal system really. All that happened is he got emancipated and placed in the care of his nana. Well, his nana is also a fucking crazy person cus she stabbed my fuckin paw paw. Ok. So he got placed in the care of his gramma. He fucked that up too and got taken by the state of TN (Dropkick Murphy’s ref in massivehugetits was actually Tennessee). So he’s in a program that’s *basically* juvy but not really.

in said program, he had to get a medflight from being jumped, he tried to hang himself with a belt, and a shit ton else. Safe to say he kept on going back to square one (this program was supposed to be 2 months long and reset whenever you got in trouble) because “is supposed to just take it?” Anyway so he was in the program until the state couldn’t legally keep him anymore, so he got released the day after he turned 18 (Nov. 1. Cause of course this guy was born on Halloween). He’s only been out since nov. 1, 2024. We’ve only visited twice in that time (once the day he got out and the second when we had thanksgiving)

In that span, he got a pet pig(?) and homewrecked one of his THIRTY year old nurses’ family and ran of to Knoxville with her. Weird. It’s been 2 fucking months.

But he’s visiting now. For Christmas. Just showed up at 8 fuckin 30. Bogeyman dark out. And I just can’t do it. Like I’m so paranoid, walking out of my room makes me nauseous. Like I think he’s gotten better but it’s hard to forget being scared for your family bc of someone. Oh and btw this guy had a coem wall. Idk. Not necessary to the story, just thought I’d say it.

[lilithaure]

him, again. ♡

hi, hahaha. kaka-miss mong kausap pala 🥲, never thought I'd be like this over a person, but here we are again. hayyyy. I guess, dito nalamg ako magr-rant, confide, confess, wtvr dahil di naman kitang pwede i-chat. For our own good, YOUR own good. I'm not deserving of you, your care, your affection, and your willingness. You're such a good, kind, and quite literally almost the perfect man any girl would've asked for, and yet I still had the nerve to let you go. You understand naman diba? Tell me you do. Please. Tell me di ka magagalit sa'kin for ending things between us. Tell me na you're still thinking about me, na you're still hoping I'd come back. Tell me you haven't moved on yet from me. Please. I still want you. How selfish, right? For me to say all those things, for me to still care, to still crave for your attention and comfort even after ending things. Even when I was the one that decided to end this. Us. If there was even an us. I was.. overwhelmed. A precious friend of mine told me that, and it could at the very least sum up how and why I came down to ending things between us. I didn't know how to react. How to communicate, and that is, admittedly, my fault. But c'mon... think about it. How is it, that a girl like me, with my looks and insecurities managed to have you chase me? To have you like me? Assure me? Spoil me without thinking twice? It's quite unbelievable, really. And to wonder that just a year ago I felt undeserving of love and not worthy of being somebody's special person because of a guy. I feel bad for you, for how the sh-t he did messed me up so bad it affected the way I reacted to your affection and the way you treated me. I distanced myself. I got scared. I'm sorry. I miss you. So much. I love you. I don't think I ever got to tell you that before I left. I'm sorry, Enzo.

[i-lovethatforme]

I hope you’re doing well and having a great week 🫶🏽 My heart still hurts from “ghosts that broke my heart before i met you” it was sooo good but wow I keep thinking about it even a week after finishing it! You’re an amazing writer and it’s so awesome that you’re somehow doing all of this for free. Do you accept donations or coffee things that I have seen other fic authors do? I just want you to know how much some of us appreciate your work - so please please ignore the rude anons that you get sometimes that demand an update or give unnecessarily harsh critiques. You’re so kind and deserve that love given back to you!

I am super excited to see your upcoming work! I just finished “the things i would like to tell you” and that was so cute and fluffy! I loved it! Super excited to see how “if you love me, leave me lonely” and “dont make it harder on me” turn out - no rush though! I am willing to wait months lol.

If I wanted to get into writing, what tips would you suggest?

you are SO CUTE IM GOING TO COMMIT A CRIME??!?! like SO CUTE. no, you don't have to give me anything, silly!!!! my heart bursting at your ask is enouuuuuuuugh. i do write for myself but i also liveeeee for people enjoying it and letting me know!

awhhh im excited for those wips as well! 'don't make it harder on me is gunna be next! i have some time off at the end of the month so I'm hoping to power thru some wips and I'm super excited about it! you're such a sweetheart i will cry.

omg join us! ummm - i think the main thing is to just go for it? like don't necessarily feel you have to open a doc and just GO. maybe a little plan and then flesh it out? as in what scenes you wanna see! and if that doesn't work for you maybe try writing down whatever it was that made you want to write the idea you have? so any dialogue or scene vibes or plot points!

i start a lot of fics w (1) idea and it'll look a bit like this (this is an abandoned wip shock xxxx)

so like // is anything i need to add at a later date aka all the fic? i use it for words i cant think of, anything i need to look up but cba rn! it's my fave tool bc i don't spend 20 minutes thinking of another word for 'really' when we all know I'm going to use the word really anyway!

--- is for scene changes and i just shove those in whenever i feel like i want one? i do not care about bridging as you will know.

don't be afraid to try an idea! don't be afraid to abandon an idea either! don't think about how anyone else would write it - just do wtvr feels best to you? overuse words! do wtvr you want bc it's supposed to be funnnnnn and enjoyable.

also, you can write and not share it if you want? i do love me some external vali but i also write stuff i don't share at all. like just little scenes i wanted to read but they're not enough for a drabble or i cba to edit it or wtvr!

ALSO, the beeest thing i did for my writing was start talking to people that also wrote (i say like i was talking to them first but wtvr!) a supportive friend can go a long way! from ideas to reading it for you to just ranting about vibes! pick meeeeeeeee. if you ever wanna chat about an idea or something just askkkk! or anyone else you like! but dm me if you ever want! or msg me on discord wtvr :)

hope you do write if you want! so v excited for that! thank you for your kind message and i hope you are having a LOVELY DAYY xxxxxxxxx

[eveningclouds]

ok well i guess i’m just wondering how you decided which school was best for you. i feel pretty overwhelmed because i have to make a decision by the end of the month and i can’t help but think that if i choose one over the other i wont reach my full potential or i wont ‘become who i’m meant to be’ if that makes sense. i feel like im already grieving all the memories/friendships i could have developed and i haven’t even settled on a decision yet. i also didn’t expect to get into the schools that i got to because the acceptance rates were so low this year. but for some strange reason they seem to want me lol. and now i have to face the reality that i could actually attend schools that i never thought i would be able to go to. my parents just want the best for me but i know they want me to go to a top school and follow in my brother’s footsteps. i’m just scared i’ll make the wrong choice and regret it. sorry for the rant… i just feel helpless :(

firstly congratulations on ur accomplishments !!! 🥳🎊💗 very happy for u

here are some things i considered when deciding where to go, & some things i wish i considered in retrospect

one thing to keep in mind is that rankings are hiiighly manipulable. universities r rly good at gaming their stats to inflate their (already subjective) ranking on usnews/wherever. & just bc a school has a large endowment doesn't necessarily mean they'll Actually Spend that money on their students. what's more indicative of ur future success, imo, is the availability of resources ur school offers.

for example: how big are the libraries? what's the ratio of therapists to students? how accessible is career counseling? what's the gym like? how does the school tangibly support first generation students? & most importantly (!!!): what kind of financial aid package/scholarships are u working with?

i would also suggest considering what degree of independence/freedom at which u thrive. my friends at nyu for example all have their own apartments and are basically adults bc nyu is like. directly in the city. most upperclassmen at my school, however, still live on campus, & therefore don't have to worry abt maintaining groceries/utilities/etc as much, but also have to deal with more rules about like owning candles or whatever. my friends who stayed in state for college usually visit their family every month, which can either be a relaxing escape from campus, or can be stifling. being out of state, it's more of a hassle to visit home (which was a huuuge mess during covid).

finally, think about what ur interested in pursuing in the future (this can and will change over time!). if ur uncertain about what u wanna major in, how easy is it to change majors at each school? specialized schools for tech or arts or wtvr tend to make it harder to switch majors around, which sucks if u wanna experiment more, but is great if u need more structure/focus in ur field. if ur degree is like, not super stable in the job market or requires grad school (ex psychology), def give a lot of thought to how feasible it is to double major & tuition (u can always go somewhere 'prestigious' for grad school & save money now!). + does ur school offer a dual bachelors/masters program (if ur interested)?

u mention future friendships & missed opportunities & i do want to reassure you that you are going to have friendships & opportunities wherever you go (🧿🧿🧿). although party schools in the idk cornfields with a huge drinking culture and small liberal arts schools where everyone wears trench coats will have different Vibes, there are really cool people anywhere and everywhere. (for Vibes, look at students' like, day in the life vlogs on youtube! not college produced vids tho). u cannnnnn see this as infinite missed opportunities, but u can also see this as a guarantee of (eventually) fulfilling experiences!

this is getting long already but one final note is that even if u pick The Best School Ever For Ur Fullest Potential (which is a bit of a myth), u will probably have at least a few weeks where u feel super lonely and insecure and regretful of ur choices. esp when ur younger i think it's really easy to believe that Every Choice You Make is Ruining Your Life Permanently. but u can't rly live ur life on trying to predict the whims of ur future self. take into account what will provide a stable, fulfilling, supportive environment for who you are today & then remain confident that nothing is permanent, that becoming/understanding who ur meant to be will happen anywhere bc it's. who ur meant to be (tho some environments r def more conducive than others), & that ur making the best decision for urself Now based on the information u have Today. 👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽

[noxtivagus]

i didn't mean to ramble sm in tags, i meant to just say a bit but oh well i'll just continue n delete when i'm less busy 🥹

oh my god it's 9 am

[tuffluuhv]

I'm only up to S3 Ep4 of Cobra Kai but let's talk about it: -tuff talks- *tw, swearing, manipulation, therapy, abuse mentions* (I typed how I talk when I'm ranting and I'm angry cause I was angry when I wrote this)(I also recognise that therapy is a privilege and doesn't work for everyone)

I fucking hate Kreese. With a passion. With rage.

He's so.....*strangles air*

He prays on vulnerable, angry kids and turns them into his little foot soldiers. He's a fucking manipulator, and dare I say, abusive.

For instance! Paying for Tory's lessons or wtvr, SHES GONNA FEEL SHE OWS A DEBT TO HIM SO SHES NOT GONNA LEAVE HIM AND HE KNOWS THAT, THATS LITERALLY ABBAMSHHSVSBGSBSD

He tells Johnny "this is all for your own good, I never intended to hurt you" while doing the opposite of that on. I just- I really really really hope he fucks off at the end of this seasom or something omg.

I really want somebody to call him out on his bullshit and be like "hey bestie, that's not right" and he gets thrown into jail or something.

----

Okay so, Hawk. Mixed feelings but largely, Ew.

Granted he's being manipulated by a fucking psychopath but his actions are still atrocious. He's so, so, so angry at the world and while yes, getting that anger out in Karate is great, what's not great is him not talking about his feelings. Karate isn't helping him cope with his feelings and his anger, it's fueling it.

I don't know what he's actually angry at tho, like yes he was bullied, so was I bestie, doesn't make me a major fucking prick to everybody. Again, his anger is being fuelled and manipulated by Kreese, but I'm still angry at him.

He beat up this little kid from the carwash and stole his money??? Like what??? (Also they never went anywhere with this, it just happend and they moved on).

In addition- he transitioned from "nerd" to "dickhead" in the span of an exposed and I just- how??

I'm just very angry at this asshole, he needs a reality check :))))))

and probably therapy. all of them need therapy. except Kreese, fuck Kreese.

---

Miguel my beloved.

Where do we start.

I like him. As a charcater I think he's the most level headed, at least out of the teens. He doesn't really see shit as this or that, he sees the problem and how can we fix it and I just *sigh* I love when a character thinks objectively. Like yes please.

He sensed Kreese's bullshit from the start and I love it.

He apologises when he's wrong (most of the time), is loyal but respectful to others, is kind, is a family man, treats the romantic people in his life right. Good sir♡♡

At the end of s1 I got bummed out when he started acting like an angry prick, but then he started turning himself around. Then, at the end of s2 I was like yes!(when he gave Robby mercy) but then. Well. Robby happened. And I was like oh, oh no.

Overall I like this character, obviously.

---

Tory, bestie.

Now she's got a lot of shit going on in her life, so her rage is justified as the hand she's been dealt by the world hasn't been the best. However, her constantly blaming anybody but herself for situations she gets herself into? Aghhh! Annoying. And this is a common theme in these characters I find. They can't take blame, and be like "no actually, I did something wrong, I'm sorry", it always "you did this, you bitch!".

I don't like how she's in constant competition with Sam, they could be powerhouse besties but no, they're put against eachother over boys and Karate.

I think she needs to talk to somebody, a proffesional, about her feelings because again like with Hawk, Karate isn't helping her with her feelings anymore, it's fueling her rage.

---

I still have so many thoughts but I can't type and think them all right now.

Honorable mentions:

Demitri - overall I like his character, and I like the "nerd redemption arc" (although I don't think there always needs to be a nerd to popular transition) I like how he kicked Hawks ass, and stood up for the underdogs. My only concern going forward is that this popularity will go to his head and he'll become a cocky prick.

Johnny - many thoughts. Overall, therapy is needed, this man needs to rid that Kreese dickhead from his life, he needs to apologise for a lot of things and actually act on his apologies and a lot of people need to apologise to him. He really needs to sit down and hash shit out with LaRusso. He also really needs to sit down and actually TALK talk to Robby.

Sam - at first I thought she was a daddies money girl and I kinda still think that, only because her money privilege isn't acknowledge a lot. I think she can kick ass, I like that she now hangs out with the "nerds". I think she needs to look at things more objectively, things aren't black and white. I think her and Miguel and an okay relationship. Not bad, not great. It wasn't good because they couldn't be honest to the people in their life about who they were seeing, but it wasn't bad because they still communicate reguarly and respected and cared about each other.

Robby - dude. He was doing so well. I was rooting for him. Now I don't know how to feel. Like yes he's been fucked over in life, I'll give him that, so I can understand his emotions and reading behind his actions, but what he did was still not okay. But I can't help but feel bad and sorry for him ya know? Ahhh, I'm confused on how I feel.

---

Daniel L - hey bossman. He's cool-ish. Kinda level headed. I do think he can be petty and isn't very open-minded. I think he's over worked and stressed out. I think he doesn't see, I don't think eaither Johnny or him see how they influence these kids. I think he needs to take a break, breathe, then come back to it all. I do think he needs to apologise to a few people.

Aisha - I like her. (I dislike that she stuck around for Kreese tho)

Okay, that's all, I'll update you all when I finish the show :)

[grvntld]

im going to try and be organized here as much as possible, so here are some tags that i will try my best to use in every post:

cake > creations — that is if i ever get to create something. this includes my food aventures and whatnot, alongside stuff that i have created out of my hobbies hehe

cereal > tag games, ask games, asks, and reblogs — which i seldom have hehe

cookie > daily journal entries most probably. more of how my day went, what made me busy for the day, that kind of stuff

cottoncandy > photos slash photosets and any form of image

donut > feels, thoughts, rants, stories. basically, just me rambling wtvr

icecream > hobbies slash interests — this is like an exercise for myself to not get shy when it comes to showing what makes me happy i guess, so here, im gonna try to talk more of the things that i like or love. this will serve as a progress tracker for myself too, i guess. just happiness in a post.

there you have it! i suppose this is some kind of an index, huh? anyway, i might edit this from time to time, i 🍩 know. enjoy!

[cinnaminsvga]

When “A Boy” Yoongi started crying, was it from something getting in his eye or from looking Y/N in the eye? And what finally made him reply to her texts?

hmm kinda both?? he’s not used to looking people in the eye bc he’s terrible at eye contact, so when he forced himself to look at oc, he forgot to blink bc he’s a big cute dummy HAHAHA so a little dust got in his eye ;w;

and he texted back a few hours later bc he was busy trying to rid himself of his anxiety HSAJDHJSAHD he wasn’t really intending to ignore oc’s messages at all. this is a lil secret between u and me, but i usually characterize yoongi with lil bits of my personality... call it self-indulgence or wtvr HASJDHSAJ so i have the tendency to sorta... shut everyone out whenever i’m feeling kind of low?? yoongi felt guilty bc he purposefully ignored oc’s calls bc he hates talking on the phone, so he kept his phone away bc he was feeling anxious... so when he finally got the courage to look at his phone again, he was surprised to see that oc texted him and was worried over him!! so it made him even more guilty... which resulted in his lil text rant/apology lol ;w;