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lublycho · 5 years ago

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No Mercy | Chapter IX (m)

Chapter 1. Chapter 2. Chapter 3. Chapter 4. Chapter 5. Chapter 6. Chapter 7. Chapter 8.

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-> pairing | Seungyoun x reader

-> word c: 8k+

-> genre: mafia au, fluff, angst, (possible) smut

-> summary: Dating a mafia boss is hard. But it’s harder when the mafia boss is a powerful, possessive drug lord, who likes to keep track on your every little move. Caught in a cat and mouse game with his enforcer for two weeks, you must bear through his severe scrutiny, because one wrong move could mean a bullet to your head.

-> Warnings: I can’t write any thing here without spoiling the story but please read at your own discretion. This chapter is very dark and twisted, filled with gory descriptions. Again, please read at your OWN risk! Mature content ahead.

Loosely inspired by © A bittersweet Life

One late autumn night, the disciple awoke crying. So the master asked the disciple, “Did you have a nightmare?”

“No.”

“Did you have a sad dream?”

“No,” said the disciple. “I had a sweet dream.”

“Then why are you crying so sadly?”

The disciple wiped his tears away and quietly answered, “Because the dream I had can’t come true.”

********

D-Day

9:52 am

“Are you nervous?”

You woke up to Seungyoun’s soft voice crooning past your ears in the uproar around you. Your eyes fluttered to accommodate the light of the bustling airport, head still nestled against Seungyoun’s shoulder.

“No,” you said, voice groggy from sleep. You slowly acclimated yourself to your surroundings, reminding yourself you weren’t in the comforts of your home, but in a busy airport, dreading the arrival of Seungwoo.

Oh, how fast the time had passed since you kissed Seungyoun two days ago. It had all been ethereal to say the least. You in his arms as the sun came up and as it went down again. You remembered the moon and how it shied away as Seungyoun held you tightly in his arms, kissing away the fears that etched up your throat. His hands were in yours, and they were on your heart and they were on the scars on your thighs. They were everywhere you wanted them to be, all as his eyes never left yours.

His eyes, you thought, were a universe of their own. They were brimming with ardour and resentment. Ardour for you, and resentment for the world. He shared your love with only the sun, for the sun ignited his love, stirred it up and carried it to you.

He was in love with you. That at least he had come to terms with in the past two days. And he knew what you felt for him too, for your every kiss lingered, as if it would be the last.

Because Seungyoun was with you, you had been a little less lonely for two weeks. But as you looked up at the crowd of people coming out of the arrival terminal, you realized your small bliss was about to be disrupted by the hurricane that was Seungwoo. You weren’t nervous, as Seungyoun had asked, instead, you were terrified. Terrified of what you would feel when you finally saw Seungwoo again, and if your feelings for Seungyoun would be swayed.

Amidst your rampant thoughts, Seungyoun pulled his head away from where it rested on top of yours.

It was time.

“I wish Dongpyo was here.” Your abrupt confession caught Seungyoun off-guard. He furrowed his eyebrows, looking skeptically at you.

“Why would you want that brat here?”

There was bad blood between them; you could feel it by simply hearing the annoyance in Seungyoun’s voice.

Dongpyo could be horrible. You knew that. But the fact that he could be good was only known to you. He had been the first to warn you against Seungwoo, albeit in not the best of ways. But even so, at least, he had tried. He had also been there for you like a little brother, using less of his wicked ways when he was with you.

“He’s not a bad person. Just misunderstood.”

And at fault for being Seungwoo’s adopted brother, you thought. You couldn’t blame Dongpyo for his wretched attitude, not with Seungwoo as his brother, and not with the constant humiliation and degradation he went through. You couldn’t imagine becoming anything less than a monster living the way he lived, and yet he had carried himself so well even amidst the terror, salvaging the small piece of his childhood.

Seungyoun scoffed and spoke again, but not to argue, “He tried to poison me once. Well, not exactly me, but I did get poisoned.”

Though the grave situation he mentioned, you still smiled. A hint of humor lined your lips when you said, “And then I saved you.”

Seungyoun’s eyes were a sparkling mess when he looked at you.

“And then you saved me.”

He glanced at his watch.

9:59 am.

There was an announcement going on, followed by people filing out of the arrival terminal again. One of them would be Seungwoo. One of them would die by your hands.

“I love you, Seungyoun.”

Your hands were shaking so you held onto Seungyoun’s, only to find them steady as rain, holding you firmly lest you collapse and tatter into pieces. He wanted to tell you he loved you too, that he wanted to kiss you more than anything in the world but the words lingered in the air, overcome by dread as he saw Seungwoo—in his usual attire of a black suit—walking out from amongst the crowd of people.

He gave your hands a firm squeeze before gently letting go.

“Be brave.”

Seungwoo was materializing too soon, too fast. It was hard to catch your breath when he took you into his arms, holding you as if he had not ordered Seungyoun to kill you; twice now. After what felt like an eternity, Seungwoo let you go. He held you by the shoulders, surveying your face with a broad smile.

“I’m glad you’re okay.”

And that was all the affection he could offer before he proceeded to give Seungyoun a pat on his shoulders.

“Thank you for bringing her here, Seungyoun. And thank you for taking care of her as I told you to.”

Seungyoun had settled things with the Lee syndicate, hence the words of gratitude. He had blown up their most prized possession—the warehouse—and that had damaged them beyond repair. Of course Lee Jinhyuk operated in multiple locations, but his prime business had taken a huge blow and thankfully, they couldn’t get back at Seungwoo or his men for they lacked the resources. They would heal, and they would come back, but that would take an awfully long time and by then Seungwoo’s syndicate would be out of their reach.

That, and Seungyoun’s heroic deed of saving you had restored his pride and honor in Seungwoo’s eyes, not that he cared much. Seungyoun had seen what Seungwoo could be, and he had not liked it in the slightest.

“It’s good to have you back, Seungwoo hyung.”

Oh, the lies. They poisoned Seungyoun’s tongue.

“And it’s good to see you both.”

You glanced at Seungyoun. He was smiling, though the smile didn’t reach his eyes.

Once the greetings were done with, Seungyoun drove you and Seungwoo back to your home since Seungwoo had insisted on spending some time with you. You hated the idea of being anywhere near Seungwoo, in fact you hated everything about him. His voice, his presence and the way he was driving you away from Seungyoun, piece by piece.

It felt bizarre when it was Seungwoo you went into your house with and not Seungyoun. Seungyoun stayed back, in the driveway in front of your house as you went farther and farther away from him before disappearing behind the confines of your house.

He had seen your eyes waver when you closed the door, but he had simply given a nod of assurance. A nod that he hoped would tell you everything would be fine.

But as soon as the door to your house closed you felt something blocking out the air from entering your swollen lungs. It was hard to breathe, and even harder to think when you felt Seungwoo leading you into your bedroom before kissing you.

“I missed you,” he murmured against your lips. His hands gripped your waist, lips catching onto your neck as you tried to find the voice to protest. You wanted to push him away, to scream and yell at him for letting you down.

But your voice betrayed you as you replied, “I missed you too.”

There was no truth behind your words, and at least for that, you were relieved.

Meanwhile, Seungwoo’s hands were crawling up from beneath your shirt, tugging at its hem.

Come on, Y/n, just tell him to stop.

You couldn’t tell him to stop. Not when his hands were slipping you out of your shirt and your bra, stripping you down till you were stark naked and at his disposal. He gently pushed you down onto your bed with one hand, taking off his shirt between a string of short kisses, some of which you returned, most of which you didn’t. There was a sudden need to cover yourself out of shame, out of embarrassment, but Seungwoo had your hands pinned by your sides, putting that need to waste.

There was still time to ask him to stop, you knew it. But then again, what would your excuse be? That you were tired? That you were just not in the mood?

No, that would be too weak of an excuse, and Seungwoo would catch up to your lies before you could get a grip around him. You forced yourself to suppress a sigh, eyes wandering as Seungwoo left a trail of sloppy trails down your chest.

You whimpered when Seungwoo’s hand trailed down your stomach, leaving a trail of shivers down your spine. His slender fingers raked up and down your thighs, exploring the skin where Seungyoun’s warm hands had found refuge. You bit your lips, keeping yourself from shedding the layer of moisture blurring your vision.

You were so weak, so helpless.

You could only close your eyes when you heard the clink of Seungwoo’s belt and the ruffle of his pants as they joined the mess of clothes on the floor. You hoped closing your eyes would make this end soon, but it only made things worse. With darkness behind your eyes, the void was filled with memories full of longing. And in that longing you saw your brother, your friends and brightest of all, Seungyoun, living in a world where Seungwoo and men like him didn’t exist. It was a lovely world. A world you wanted to be reborn in.

But it disappeared when you opened your eyes, your breaths breaking into shallow whimpers as you felt Seungwoo push into you. He kissed you as he picked up his pace, setting a steady rhythm, pushing himself in and out.

“I love you so fucking much.”

You wished there was a gun nearby. Or any weapon you could pierce Seungwoo’s cold, traitorous heart with. But there were only your tears, which he licked away with his poisonous kisses.

You were at the mercy of a merciless man. And you were entirely helpless, accepting your defeat with every kiss he gave you.

But not for long.

***********

“I have to get to my dance class.”

Your voice broke the terrible silence around you. Seungwoo shifted behind you, pulling you closer. He mumbled incoherently about how you could just skip it for today.

“I can’t, I’ve already skipped too many.”

You pushed yourself out of his grip, leaving the bed before quickly slipping into your clothes. You prayed he wouldn’t press the matter and let you leave before the confinement of your house could suffocate you.

“Fine.”

Seungwoo shifted out of the bed, putting on his own clothes before walking up to you and resting a hand on your cheeks. His touch was soft, but his eyes were stern. Slowly, he was returning to his real self; the stoic and reserved Seungwoo that he had buried somewhere inside him was crawling out of the mud, opening his eyes to the world he left behind.

“I will send you a dress today.”

Seungwoo’s hand left your cheek and caught onto the pendant hanging around your neck. The morse code pendant was still in your possession after Seungyoun had denied your offer to take it back. You had not complained when he had placed the chain back into your firm hands. Instead, you welcomed the feeling of the cold metal back on your skin.

You watched as Seungwoo twirled the pendant in his hands, surveying the small engraved morse code which only you knew the meaning of.

“I want you to wear it tomorrow.”

He let the pendant fall back onto your neck.

“What’s tomorrow?” You asked.

Seungwoo turned his back to you, turning to face the residual light seeping from your room’s window.

“I’m back after two weeks, don’t you think that calls for a little celebration?”

You shook your head because he wasn’t looking. Because you were always the bravest when he wasn’t looking.

“I see…,” Your voice trailed off. With timid steps, you stepped back from Seungwoo, striving to put as much distance between you two as possible.

“I should probably get going... I’m getting late.”

Seungwoo hummed in response.

You walked out of the room, relaxing your tense muscles. Your legs ached to run, but you steadied them until you were out of your house and walking across the driveway. Only when your house had vanished into the horizon behind you did you finally give yourself the release you so desperately needed.

You took a deep breath of fresh air and then bolted into a run.

And you didn’t look back. Not even once.

***********

4:30 pm

“So...Which one will it be?”

Seungyoun watched as Wooseok held up two plates with samples of red velvet cakes. One was a crimson monstrosity with powdered sugar sprinkled at the top while the other was smaller, yet hideous with its peculiar assortment of chocolate candies. Wooseok looked at Seungyoun eagerly, tapping his foot rapidly.

“I don’t know-”

“Oh come one! How hard can it be? Just pick a damn cake.” Wooseok was at his edge now, agitated by Seungyoun’s indifferent behaviour. He placed the plates down on the Seungyon’s desk. The sound of their clink against the wood startled Seungyoun, cutting sharply at his dazed mind.

“You can talk to me if there is anything bothering you.”

Seungyoun gazed up. He considered Wooseok’s offer, the burden in his heart aching for a release. He debated whether he could trust Wooseok, and felt ashamed for doing so. Wooseok was Seungyoun’s oldest friend, and perhaps, his only friend. To doubt him would be to doubt everyone he had ever known all his life.

“I’m okay, just tired.”

Wooseok waited for him to change his mind but Seungyoun was firm with his decision to keep the matter to himself. After all, the less people he involved, the safer everyone would be, or so he believed.

Seungyoun pointed to the larger cake on his table, the one covered with powdered sugar.

“Put that one out.”

Wooseok let out a sigh of relief, “Finally.”

Seungyoun surveyed him as he proceeded to pick both plates up from his desk.

“Is there any special occasion for which you brought the cakes?”

Wooseok peered up at him, face pulled in a frown.

“You don’t know? Mr. Seungwoo asked to prepare for a party in his honor, because we overtook the Lee’s.”

Seungyoun stared at Wooseok, not blinking for a few moments as he took in the information.

A party in his hotel that Seungyoun himself did not know about? Usually any occasion or event would be discussed with Seungyoun first, and only after he had approved it would it proceed. No matter how significant it may be.

When Seungyoun didn’t speak for a long time, Wooseok cocked his head to one side, curious as he asked, “You didn’t know? I think Seungwoo asked the event manager to organize it this time.”

"Dongpyo?" Seungyoun asked, voice laden with disbelief. It seemed as if Wooseok was about to shake his head but the abrupt click of the door handle made them both snap their heads towards it.

As if on cue, the little devil barged into Seungyoun’s office, not bothering to knock as he plopped himself down on a chair by the desk.

“I’m getting out of here,” Wooseok mumbled, hurriedly taking his leave.

Unfortunately, no one liked confronting the little devil. But much to Seungyoun’s dismay, it was an absolute necessity for him to have to speak to him.

Before Seungyoun could greet him with a well-crafted insult, Dongpyo threw a heavy file at his desk.

“I can’t deal with this. This whole party organizing thing goes past my head.”

“And you want me to do what about that?”

Seungyoun glared at Dongpyo who remained unfazed by his hostility. He was too used to the constant banter.

“Nothing,” Dongpyo shifted in the seat, toying with Seungyoun’s name plate on the desk. His shoulders tensed when he eyed Seungyoun, though his eyes were soft. And for a second, whilst looking back into Dongpyo’s eyes, Seungyoun could see the boy he was. The boy he could’ve been if things hadn’t gone south. A boy he could love like his little brother, but the image vanished as soon as it materialized when Dongpyo spoke, “I just came to give you a heads up,”

If he hadn’t seen Dongpyo’s eyes soften just a moment ago, Seungyoun would’ve replied with a sharp retort. But there was a sickness in the boy’s eyes, a fever in his small heart. And Seungyoun would be a heartless bastard to damage him further.

“One of us has our foot in the grave.”

Dongpyo opened the file discarded on the desk. He flipped the pages, motions sluggish as he stopped on a page and turned it towards Seungyoun.

“There are more than 200 invites,” Donpyo said as Seungyoun skimmed through the page.

“Seungwoo wants music, dancing, maximun protection and basically everything he would usually need before he was about to orchestrate murder in the premise.”

Seungyoun nodded subconsciously. He recalled all the parties he had ever organized, the ones where blood was shed and the ones where things had been relatively quiet. Then he looked at the instructions given for tomorrow’s party, and his blood ran cold.

“How do you know it might be one of us he’s after?”

Dongpyo shrugged, “He didn’t tell you about the party, and neither did he tell me.”

“Besides,” he stood up, placing the name plate in his hand back on the desk. “We’re not really his favorites nowadays.”

Seungyoun observed him skeptically, “Why would you say that-”

“Oh don’t act so stupid Seungyoun, it doesn’t suit you.”

Dongpyo was so relaxed it put Seungyoun on the edge. He waited for him to continue, growing anxious by the second.

“I don’t particularly care about you, but I care about Y/n. And she probably cares about you, unfortunately. That’s why I came here. If Seungwoo does anything to you, that girl is going to blame herself for the rest of her miserable life.”

Seungyoun’s heart thrummed against his chest. His mouth was dry, making it difficult to swallow, and even difficult to speak when he tried, “I don’t know what you’re talking-”

“Of course you do. Just now when I took Y/n’s name your eyes lit up in apprehension. It would be a wonder if Seungwoo hasn’t noticed the spark between you two yet.”

“Don’t you dare-” Seungyoun threatened, but was cut off mid sentence.

“I don’t want to. Like I said, I care about Y/n.”

Dongpyo scoffed when he saw Seungyoun’s look of disbelief.

“I know it sounds weird coming from me, but even the devil can have a heart.”

Seungyoun didn’t speak as Dongpyo sauntered out of his office, shooting him a look of what could be pity as he closed the door behind him.

Dongpyo’s words lingered in his mind as he closed his eyes and leaned back against the chair.

He wanted to think about the party tomorrow, of what it would bring for him. Of what it would bring for you. But he could only think about how much he missed you, and how it sucked to not see you every second of the day.

He thought and thought as he dug out his phone from his pocket and contemplated dialing your number.

He didn’t hesitate once as he pressed dial, eager to hear your voice again.

*********

Your friends couldn’t believe you when you told them you were quitting the dance class. And you partially blamed yourself for being so abrupt with the confession. It had slipped out of your mouth in a normal conversation as you all were packing up for the day.

“Can’t believe it’s my last day,” you had blurted out of nowhere while you all were laughing. Your untimely confession had plucked the laughter from the boys’ mouths, leaving them scampering for answers. Hyeongjun was the first to break. He clinged to your shoulders, tears pricking his eyes as he pleaded you not to leave. Junho was soon to break down next, throwing questions that you had difficulty answering.

Minhee had been the most patient, merely listening as you explained your side of the story to the more persistent boys. He had stayed behind when Hyeongjun and Junho had left, wanting answers that you could give him easily.

“You’re not really coming back.” Minhee pondered out loud, a contradiction to the reassurance you gave to Hyeongjun, claiming you were just temporarily quitting.

You two were sitting on a bench near the bus stop, in a rather solemn street. The road was empty, save for the occasional car that rolled by, and even emptier was the air surrounding you.

“No,” you choked out, holding back tears and avoiding Minhee’s stare. “I don’t think I’m coming back.”

There was silence on Minhee’s side. He took a moment to push back his own tears, and sighed as he took your hand in his.

“You can talk to me, Y/n.”

Of course I can, you thought. If there was any person you could talk about your problems to, it was Minhee. Your friend, your confidant. The person who knew you before anyone else did. And yet, when you opened your mouth to confess, something stole the words right out of your mouth.

You gaped up at Minhee, tears welling up in your eyes as you struggled to speak. You choked back sobs, shaking your head as he took you in his arms. Minhee held you as if you were mere pieces of broken glass, fearing that if he let you go you would scatter onto the pavement.

"It's okay," He cooed in your ears, slowly stroking your hair. Minhee's movements were soft, voice strong.

You wiped your tears with your sleeve. Your chest heaved as you tried to calm yourself down. Gradually, your head left Minhee's chest, and his arms slid down your shoulders, returning by his sides.

Wiping away the residual tears, you whispered-because that's all you could do with your hoarse throat-, "I’m sorry I’m doing this to you guys."

A flare of headlights and the rumble of a bus engine could be heard in the distance. Out on the edge of the road, Minhee’s bus rolled towards the bus stop. In a few moments Minhee would get on it, and you would lose the last piece of yourself with him. You had already lost Junho and Hyeongjun, fed them up on baseless promises, but the closer the bus got, the more adamant you became on not telling Minhee any lies. Lies would smoulder your friendship, but the truth would set it on fire.

“Whatever it is that is holding you back…” Minhee began, biting his lips as he tapped his foot against the ground. He looked at you, face dulled into a look of pity, “I just hope it doesn’t take you away from us, from me, forever.”

He leaned forward, face suspended a few inches from yours as he turned your head down with his hands and kissed your forehead. The ache in your heart dulled as your pulse scampered, making you dizzier by the second.

Minhee pulled back and the bus stopped in front of you. It was time to let him go.

You wished you wouldn’t be gone forever. You truly, deeply wished that. But there would be blood on your hands soon, and you couldn't smear it on your only friends. You just couldn't be that cruel.

Minhee climbed up the small stairs of the bus, hesitant as he spared you a glance over his shoulder. You captured the look on his face. In case you never saw them again, you wanted to—at the very least— remember what your friends looked like. The doors hissed as they closed. And away went the bus, taking the last of your friends with it.

*********************

“The tide is high today.”

You lifted your head from where it rested on the dashboard. Out in the distance you saw waves crashing against the blanket of sand, rising up as if to engulf the beach before receding and taking away with them the mischievous threat. The sun ebbed way over the horizon, dipping into the endless sea, bathing the world with the residue of its fading light.

Some of its light shone on your face, and some on Seungyoun’s face as he gazed at you from the driver’s seat of his car. His lips were turned up, flickering with the ghost of a smile.

“You look beautiful.”

Seungyoun’s eyes glistened as they surveyed your face, lingering on your reddening cheeks from his abrupt compliment. He ran his fingertips across your face. His touch was barely a soft caress, gone before you could even feel it. It left you seeking for more.

“I wish Y/n and Seungyoun of two weeks ago were here instead of us,” you whispered, fearing that raising your voice would steal the perfect moment away.

“Y/n and Seungyoun of two weeks ago despised each other,” Seungyoun laughed. He turned to face the beach in view, the pupils in his eyes dilating as the world around you darkened.

“Then I wish Y/n and Seungyoun of today could go back two weeks, to the safety of a few dance lessons and a game of UNO.”

“And have you win the game by cheating all over again? I’ll pass.” Seungyoun scoffed, humor thick in his voice as he tilted his head to look at you again.

“I did not cheat. You were just too bad at it.” You huffed out, folding your arms over your chest defensively. The smile was still on your face, keeping the air light and breathable, unlike back at your house.

“Of course,” Seungyoun rolled his eyes.

He leaned forward and pressed a kiss on your lips, smiling when your hands intertwined with his. You kissed him back, listening as the sea around you rose like the butterflies in your chest. Seungyoun pulled back and the sea withdrew, shying away from what lingered between you both in that ephemeral moment.

“I should take you home.”

Seungyoun’s words broke the moment, and his voice broke the sea as it reached forward with foamy waves, unleashing its fury onto the beach. The roar of the tide instilled a violent fear in your chest. You licked your lips as Seungyoun pulled away, shifting the gear until his car was pulling out of the small parking lot in front of the beach.

“Don’t take me to my home.”

You clung to Seungyoun’s forearm, holding him tight. Your chest heaved with the memories of early morning dwindling in your feeble mind.

Your sudden shift of emotions startled Seungyoun. He looked at you, eyebrows furrowed as he slowly nodded.

“Where else do you want to go?” Seungyoun asked, mind whirring.

You shook your head, sighing. Anxiously, you fidgeted with your fingers, pulling your lips into a tight line.

"Your home. Take me to your home."

****************

You had expected Seungyoun’s home to be a lot of things; dark, remote and even a bit scary. But mostly you had expected it to be messy and closed off.

What you had not expected his home to have was so many windows. Every single room in his colossal house had a large window, may it be the living room or the bedroom itself. They made the house look brighter, despite the dark beige interior. Where your house was a hideous mess of green interior, Seungyoun’s was a warm brown. It was easy to find comfort in every room Seungyoun showed you, but mostly in the living room you sat in as Seungyoun fumbled with something in the kitchen.

“You sure you don’t want any help?”

Seungyoun tried to glance at you, but hit his head on the shelf in the attempt. You tried to hide your smile as Seungyoun let out a curse. Nonetheless, he covered his clumsiness with a smile.

“Nope. I’m doing pretty good.”

He gave you a thumbs up, reminding you of the day he first met you, when you had shown the same gesture to him. He had found it bizarre back then, annoying even. You had merely smiled at his distant behavior.

You two had hated each other then, yet everything else was so easy, so normal.

Seungyoun stepped away from the stove, gently removing the kettle he had been brewing tea in before pouring the searing liquid into two cups. You shifted to peer at him from the corner of the living room, still seated in the couch facing the tv.

He sauntered into the room, carefully blowing on one of the cups in an attempt to cool it down. He handed it over to you, before setting down his own cup on the side table.

Hesitantly, you sipped the tea, waiting for the hot liquid to burn your tongue but relieved when it was almost lukewarm.

"Don't do it Y/n."

Your head shot towards seungyoun. He was perched on the edge of the sofa, fidgeting with his fingers.

"Do what?"

You dreaded the answer. You knew he would stop you from fulfilling the promise you made yourself. The promise filled with Seungwoo's blood and the pain he made you feel. And you knew you would willingly do anything Seungyoun wanted you to do, except for this one thing.

"Don't kill Seungwoo."

You placed the cup in your hands on the table in front. Seungyoun tugged at your hands, gently holding onto them.

"I know he has caused you a lot of pain, I know… I know he is a bad person. But you are good. You are the best person I've ever met. And I don't want you to taint that perfect part of you."

You weren't listening. You didn't want to listen.

"Please, let it go. Go back home, to your real home."

You knew Seungyoun was talking about the home you left long ago, the one where your parents and your little brother Dohyon lived and waited for you to come back.

"Will you come with me?" you asked.

Your eyes were searching Seungyoun's face, but what you searched for, you did not know.

It took Seungyoun a moment to answer. You could see that he was fighting something off, something that sounded like the clink of heavy chains weighing him down. You wanted to help him fight it off, but your own prepositions kept you from doing so.

"My world and your world are very different-"

Maybe this is it, you thought. Perhaps Seungyoun had finally reached the edge of whatever love you two had and he just didn’t want to go any farther. You didn’t blame him for it, but it hurt nonetheless.

“But I’m willing to leave my world behind and create a new one… A world that welcomes us. If only you are willing to do the same.”

Were you willing to do the same? No. Not at all. Or at least that’s what your mind told you. You didn’t dare ask your heart for an opinion, because you knew what it wanted.

Defeated, you wrapped your arms around Seungyoun, indulging yourself in the intoxicating scent of his body. With your body so close to his, Seungyoun forgot that you gave him no affirmative answer. And you forgot that you were going to kill Seungwoo tomorrow, at the party meant to celebrate him, wearing the dress he sent for you.

You knew you would have to remember it all once Seungyoun’s embrace was no longer subduing the rage in your heart. Even so, you gave his offer a thought.

But the boiling blood coursing through your veins burnt your thoughts and it scorched your common sense.

You were going to kill Seungwoo. One way or another.

*************************

The black silk gown clung to your body, making you squirm in discomfort. It was a simple dress, pooling at your ankles and hanging low on your shoulders, a rather loose fit.

But it wasn’t the dimensions of the dress that irked you. It was its pitch black color. Black had never been a color you liked. It was too edgy, like a black hole stealing the light around.

Still, you straightened your shoulders and clutched a matching purse in your hand, smiling as you drifted through High Sun hotel, thanking the staff that welcomed you and the stream of outrageously dressed guests.

Seungyoun was nowhere to be found, as expected. He would probably be in his office at this hour, overseeing guest lists and last minute preparations.

One of the staff members guided you through the gigantic hallway and into a hall where the party was in full swing. If you hadn’t seen enough of them already, you would’ve been in awe of the immaculately dressed aristocrats crowding the large hall. You could always count on Seungwoo’s guest to flaunt their glistening diamonds and gold in every way possible. They almost made you conscious of your own plain dress, save for a few jewels that lined its neckline.

“You don’t look so bad.”

You turned your head sideways, smiling when you found Dongpyo standing not too far from you. Clad in a tuxedo with his hair pushed back, he resembled Seungwoo even though the resemblance wouldn’t help him in the slightest. His hands were pinned behind his back, face holding that signature scowl he was infamous for.

“You don’t look so bad yourself.”

Your compliment relaxed him a bit. It broke the look of annoyance, leaching it away in an instant. Tentatively, he stepped towards you, gracefully extending a gloved hand before gazing up at you.

“Care for a dance?”

You shrugged.

Dongpyo pulled you into the centre of the lavishly decorated hall, under the crystal chandelier that was suspended above the dance floor. The mellow music sifted through the air, making you painfully aware of what you carried in your suspiciously voluminous purse.

Donpyo placed a hand on your waist, while the other clasped your hand as you two danced to the slow melody. You were quiet for the longest time, simply taking in the bizarre world around you. The place, the people, the music; it was all so foreign to you. And perhaps it would always be, because no matter how hard Seungwoo tried to make you fit in, you just couldn’t. You were like a stubborn puzzle piece, printed to complete the puzzle yet too persistent to just not form a sound shape. Seungwoo had tried cutting you, tried moulding you to fit his puzzle, but to no avail. You were simply unchangeable. A wild beast in a world full of pacifists.

And like a beast, you always had an unquenchable thirst for revenge. The desire to see the blood pouring from the skin of the person that wronged you, to watch as they were persecuted in front of your very eyes. That’s what you had done with the men who took everything from you. That was the story unknown to most.

After Seungwoo had saved you, he had asked what you wanted to be done with the men who had stripped you of your honor. And what you had asked Seungwoo to do to them was beyond the imaginations of a sane human being.

You had asked them to be burned and skinned and butchered like farm animals. You had watched even, as the men had their tongues torn out with pincers, parts of their bodies burned with scorching torches as they screamed in agony. With every scream they let out, you gave them a fit of laughter. You were a monster in the eyes of the men who held you at their mercy just days ago.

At the end of it all, you had stayed to bid farewell to what was left of their barely breathing bodies. You knew not what became of them, where they were buried or if they were buried at all. They certainly did not deserve a proper burial, perhaps cremation would’ve been preferred by you, just so they would get a taste of where they would be going after you were done with them.

And it wasn’t as if you wouldn’t be going to hell, too, after all that you had asked from Seungwoo. And maybe, above all the pain Seungwoo had given to you, the real reason you wanted to kill Seungwoo was the fact that he had seen you become a monster. You had been at your worst when you had met him, consumed by the fire of retribution. But you were at your best when you met Seungyoun, and you knew very well that as long as Seungwoo was alive, he would never let you be good.

*************

"She is looking beautiful, isn't she?"

Seungwoo walked over until he stood next to Seungyoun. They were both standing on a terraced balcony that overlooked the hall below, watching as people loitered amidst the raging music and intoxicating drinks.

"I suppose."

Seungyoun knew without a doubt Seungwoo had been talking about you. He could track his gaze down to where you danced with Dongpyo. Your eyes held the memories of long ago, yet your body flowed with the soft melody.

"It is always too bad when something so beautiful starts to corrode."

Seungyoun peered at Seungwoo from the corner of his eyes, wondering what he may have meant from his blatant confession.

Seungwoo turned to Seungyoun, tilting his head to one side. "So in the span of two weeks, you found nothing on her?"

Seungyoun didn't avoid his gaze, despite the desperate need to do so.

"No. No, I didn't."

Seungwoo hummed in response, trailing his eyes back to you.

He furrowed his eyebrows, focusing them as if he was trying to get you to look back at him. At some point, you jutted your chin towards the balcony, and found the eyes of one of the two men. And it wasn't Seungwoo.

"Kill her anyway. "

Seungyoun's eyes snapped over to Seungwoo. His veins constricted as his face turned pale against his perspiring body.

"What?"

Seungwoo left Seungyoun's side, patting him once on the shoulder before saying, "Kill her… or save her and kill yourself instead."

He exited the balcony from a vast door, leading to the antechamber of his office, leaving Seungyoun scrambling for air.

***********

“Are you okay?”

Your mind, seeping through the resistant memories, whirled back to the present. You licked your lips, nodding slowly.

Donpyo glanced sideways, eyes frantic as if on the lookout for someone.

“Seungyoun really loves you.”

You opened your mouth before closing it shut. Your heart hammered against your fragile chest, unable to contain your surprise at Dongpyo’s abrupt confession.

“What are you talking about?”

You gave him a fake smile, cheeks twitching as if too truthful to hide the lie behind the curl of your lips.

“Cut the crap. I know what’s going on between you two.”

You swallowed through your parched throat, words forming in your mouth but disintegrating from your voice.

“And I won’t tell Seungwoo, so don’t worry.”

You furrowed your eyebrows, raising a hand to wipe the sweat off of your forehead.

“But-” Donpyo looked sideways again, eyes shining with paranoia, “I want you to know that you should leave Seungwoo as soon as you can. The more you stay around, the darker your soul becomes. He will suck the life and happiness out of you and he will take Seungyoun away. I know it, I-I saw it in his eyes yesterday. There was… There was anger and agitation and he was on the edge. He was blabbering about you and Seungyoun, I don’t know… I just,”

You held onto Dongpyo who was on the verge of collapsing to the floor. His ragged breaths cut through the melody of the music, draining it of its beauty and filling it with dread to the point that it spilled in the air around you.

“Donpyo what are you saying?”

You yourself were on the edge of tearing up, frightened by Dongpyo’s revelations. Were you really going to lose Seungyoun? Would Seungwoo really take him away from you before you had a chance to love him to your heart’s content?

“Where is he? Donpyo?”

You grabbed Donpyo’s chin forcing him to look at you. His eyes were swollen, cheeks reddening with the way he cried.

“Where’s Seungyoun?”

Panic settled in your bones as you shook the boy by his shoulders, hissing when he wouldn’t stop crying.

“I don’t know,” he said between sobs, “I don’t know.”

Ignorant of the people around you, you let out a loud groan of frustration, ruffling your combed hair as you exited the hall. You meandered through the massive hallways, a hand on your chest to stop your heart from pouring out. In the heat of the moment, you had discarded your heavy purse somewhere, abandoning the weapon in it to whoever would lay his or her hands on it before you would again.

Pushing through a set of giant doors, you brushed past a few waiters politely telling you that you were in the private sector of the hotel and that they could not allow you to pass through. At some point they had abandoned you to your frantic search, deciding that talking to you would be like talking to a brick wall. And at that very point you had barged through what looked like an office and found yourself face to face with Seungyoun.

His face was turned towards you, a hand extended the way Dongpyo had moments ago to ask you for a dance. The only difference was that Seungyoun wasn’t going to ask you to dance. Because in his tight grip was a polished gun, and it was aimed directly at your head.

Pt II.

"Y/n?"

As fast as the gun had been aimed at your head, it lost its target just as quickly. Seungyoun dropped his hand, frowning as he saw you. Your name sounded strange on his lips, like it had the first day he met you.

"Seungyoun."

And yet, like always, his name was a prayer of relief for you; a tether, a string, a thread binding you together.

You took a step towards him, and then another and then you kept walking until your hand was in his but his gun was on your head. It had found its lost home again.

Were you shocked? No. Not when you had been in the same situation once already. You weren't angry, you weren't afraid. In that moment all your helpless self felt was love, and perhaps everything that went beyond it.

"It's okay, Seungyoun."

You smiled, caressing his face with your calloused hands, staining them with the curse that came with being with you.

"Why is this so hard?"

Seungyoun was on the verge of tears, cheeks wavering in an uncontrolled, feral emotion.

You laughed. And Seungyoun knew that if not for the gun, it would've been the best moment of his life.

You and him, him and you.

Every moment that you two had shared was a gift from God. You didn't deserve even a second with Seungyoun, and yet somehow you had been blessed with so many days of seeing him smile, and seeing him laugh. And if you had asked for anything more, you knew you'd be playing at terrible odds.

"Nothing else matters," you cooed. Your fingers hovered over his eyes, grazing his nose and feeling his shaking lips, "Only us."

You closed your eyes. Seungyoun closed his.

"I love you, no matter what."

Yesterday you were afraid of dying. Today you were willing to embrace it, if only by the hands of Seungyoun. You had no regrets now, no lingering hopes of mercy. It was okay. It was all okay.

"And I love you," Seungyoun whispered, taking a step back. He snatched his hand away from your grip, leaving your skin cold and empty.

You didn't mind. You had felt him once with the kind of touch you'd take to your grave.

"I love you, and no one can take that away. And no one can punish you for it. You committed no crime."

Seungyoun's eyes shot behind you, skin paling at whatever ghost he must've seen. You watched him swallow, cringing at the way he looked so weak, so helpless. You wanted to ease him off his pain. You wanted him to pull the trigger and set you free.

"Do it, Seungyoun."

Your face was peaceful as ever, a harmony in your heart melting into your voice.

You kneeled before him, taking one of his hands and placing it over your heart. It gave you strength and it made you remember. You heaved a long sigh as the uncanny click of the gun jolted awake your fading senses.

You smiled and tried to remember all the good times; the day you held his hand for the first time, the day he told you how good of a dancer you were, the moment he kisses you, for the first and last time. It all came rushing to you, fostering a joy in your veins.

You relaxed your shoulders, your grip around Seungyoun's hand merely a caress now.

"May we meet again," Seungyoun whispered.

There was a shift, an aching loss of feeling on your head and then the shot of the gun sounded.

It was over.

Everything was over.

You opened your eyes.

But not for you.

There was no Seungyoun in front of you, no hand of his on your heart. But there was a splatter of warmth on your face, a crimson liquid staining the wall in front of you.

And below you, right in front of your eyes lay Seungyoun, with a bullet woven intricately into his small head. It was then that you realized it was his blood on your face, and his blood on the walls and his blood on the carpet and his blood everywhere else.

"Seungyoun?"

You waited, your mind fazed and expecting an answer. You crawled towards him, hands suspended above his body as if not sure which part of him to hold first. "Seungyoun?!"

Your mouth hung open, jaw quaking. You raked your fingernails across your face, drawing blood in agony when Seungyoun gave you no answer.

"Answer me you idiot!"

Your voice was now a scream. It was all that mattered. Because Seungyoun was not here. And you were all alone. Tears cascaded down your already wet cheeks, turning red the further down they went. You took a lifeless hand and placed it on your chest again, shaking your head as if to shake off reality.

"No, no, no, no, no."

You chanted, blinking your eyes rapidly, trying anything to make everything go away. There was an ache in your throat, ice in your ailing lungs and tears in your swollen eyes.

"NO!"

Your wails were heard from across the doorway, at which stood the devil, the false god, the merciless. Seungwoo had many names. And he loved each more than the other.

He clapped his hands, sauntering into what used to be Seungyoun's office, eyes fixated on your disoriented self.

"What a terrible end."

You hissed as you turned towards Seungwoo, still kneeling on the floor beside Seungyoun, still mourning him.

"Stay away from me!"

Haphazardly, you grabbed the bloodied gun that lay discarded near his hand. You wiped away the blood on your eyes, pointing the gun at Seungwoo.

The man merely smiled. Bravely, he stepped forward, coming to stand close enough so that he could gently push away the gun's aim.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. The cowards remain cowards at the end."

Despite the urge not to, you still found yourself bawling in front of Seungwoo. Your hand trembled under the weight of the heavy gun, and perhaps under the weight of Seungyoun's death hovering over your chest.

"I told him to be careful around. I told him that you were easily swayed, but he just wouldn't listen."

Seungwoo spoke as if he was trying to make you understand. It felt from his demeanor that all of this was a terrible joke, a play to teach you a lesson.

"Why-why… did you… ?" your words were broken by your clogged throat and the simmering tears.

"You know I had to."

Furious, you aimed the gun again, right above his sick and twisted heart.

"You won't do-"

You pulled the trigger. It was easier than you thought.

With a thud, Seungwoo collapsed on the floor. His chest heaved and he took his last breaths. A moment passed, and then Seungwoo was no more.

You weren't sure if he deserved your tears, so you laughed instead. You laughed for Seungwoo and you cried for Seungyoun and then you laughed again for yourself. For your troubled fate and for your troubled mind.

The music from across the hallway made you imagine what dancing with Seungyoun would've felt like. Of what his hands on your waist and your arms around his neck would've made you feel. You imagined what never having Seungyoun touch you again would feel like, what always remembering him dead and cold and lifeless would feel like.

It wouldn't feel like anything. Nothing would ever feel like anything at all. Because when Seungyoun had placed his hand on your heart, he had taken it for himself.

But now he was dead.

And so was your heart.

************

When people have started gathering around the premise of the two deaths, you had been cradling Seungyoun's body. When the police had been called and they tried to take Seungyoun away, you had charged at them like a wild animal, screaming until they had to physically restrain you.

What came after was a blur. At some point you were detained in what looked like an interrogation room. People asked you questions but you gave them no answers. People screamed at you but you said nothing. They let you go when the silence threatened to drive them crazy, and when Dongpyo came to take you, he had gone a bit crazy too.

You were sent to a building with plain floors and plain walls, to a room that harbored only a bed and a few chairs. People came to talk to you, doctors you assumed, but you said nothing. A woman clad in white regularly took you out of the room, she fed you meals and tucked you in your bed at night. Everyone around you wore white, but not everyone was the same. Some people were quiet, but others were loud and violent. You hated the place, and you hated the loneliness.

You were released from the makeshift purgatory soon, when you had found your voice again. You had asked Dongpyo where Seungyoun's grave was, but he said he didn't know. You had asked then where Seungwoo's grave was, but he said he couldn't tell you.

You went home then. To your real home. To your parents and your brother Dohyon. They had asked what had become of you, but then you lost your voice again. You told them you were waiting. They asked what you waited for. You said they wouldn't understand.

Because you knew not where Seungyoun's grave was, you mourned him by looking up at the sky. You told him you wanted to meet him again, and that you had tried to, several times. But you told him you were a coward, and that you could only wait.

And lastly, you told him that in the world of no mercy, you had found a little, you had savored it and now you paid its terrible price.

You could tell him nothing else.

So you just waited.

You merely waited.

128 notes · View notes

arckook · 5 years ago

Text

around and around - seven

pairing: cho seungyoun x reader, kim wooseok x reader

au: idolverse

warnings: more swearing than ususal

wordcount: 7.5k

description: you’ve had a one-sided crush on your close friend seungyoun for who knows how long, but things don’t stay so black and white when he introduces you to his new groupmate kim wooseok.

a/n: please listen to falling by harry styles and different by woodz for maximum emotion

“But doesn’t Y/N seem like the kind of person to have their future wedding all planned out?” Jimin asks, smiling over at the younger girl adoringly. “I feel like she knows exactly what she wants.”

“I wish,” you groan, pushing your hair off of your forehead. It’s sticky with sweat- the three of you are sitting outside, and it’s summer. “I only know a few things.”

“Tell us,” Seungyoun says, thinking to himself that he should have offered you a sip of his drink. You’ve already turned to Jimin and nicked some of hers.

You hum, setting your chin on the palm of your hand. Your lips pull into a pout, and you stare up at the umbrella above you, seemingly in thought. “My mom always told me never to date a musician, so I’ll probably follow that. She said they always end up breaking your heart.”

“Ouch,” Jimin laughs. “So never date one of your friends.”

“I know, right?” you reply with a lighthearted giggle. “And… I think my dad would like someone clean-cut. No tattoos and stuff like that. He’s kinda conservative in that way. Oh, and there’s one thing for sure.”

“Let me guess,” Jimin leans back, pointing knowingly. “Rich.”

You laugh.

Seungyoun always thinks you’re prettiest when you’re laughing.

“Nah, not rich,” you wave your hand, still grinning. “But like… kinda has their shit together, you know? I mean, to a degree, but. You know what I mean.”

“I do, I do,” Jimin nods. She looks to Seungyoun, lifting her chin. “So, Youn, you know anyone like that? This girl has not had a boyfriend since like fifth grade.”

You smack Jimin lightly on the arm. “Stop bullying me.”

“I am not!”

Seungyoun lets a smile pass with his lips pressed tightly together, fingers tapping quickly on the table. “None come to mind.”

“Ah,”

Seungyoun winces as soon as the bright light hits his eyes, rolling over and pressing his face into the pillow. “Stop,” he whines, muffled.

But nobody answers.

For a moment, he’d forgotten that he’s alone.

Seungyoun shifts, one eye opening to peek at where the light is coming from. He’s squinting and can’t see clearly, but he thinks it’s probably the curtain in front of his bed, slightly pushed to the side. And now it’s late enough that the sun has moved to glare straight through that small piece of the window.

Once the one eye has gotten used to the light, he sits up, rubbing both with his fingers. He winces- the headache that’s already blooming getting worse with the sun striking his face. Seungyoun feels around blindly for his phone on the nightstand, eventually finding it.

One in the afternoon.

A fuck ton of missed calls.

He sighs deeply, setting his phone in his lap and putting his head in his hands. He starts to groan, but that hurts, too.

Eventually he’ll have to get up and find some advil, but for now, that’s a lot to think about.

Bzzzz. Bzzzz. Bzzzz.

Seungyoun really groans this time, picking up his phone again to see who could possibly be calling this early in the-

Not morning.

Right.

And of course, it’s the only person who calls him often nowadays.

“Hello?” Seungyoun grumbles quietly into the phone, cringing at the volume of his own voice.

“Yah!” Sahee shouts, loud enough that he has to pull the phone away.

“Wait, please be quieter,” Seungyoun interrupts, pressing his other hand to his forehead. “Hangover.”

“Do you know what you did last night, Cho Seungyoun?” Sahee snaps violently, ignoring his request. “You made a fucking shitshow out of your friend group. I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for hours so you can figure your shit out!”

“...What?” Seungyoun mutters, a deep frown settling into his face.

“I need to know what you want, Seungyoun,” Sahee says, a desperate tone lacing her voice. “Why can’t you ever give anyone a straight answer?”

Seungyoun hesitates.

“I’ll talk to you later,” he says, and hangs up.

He sighs again.

Seungyoun runs his thumbs over the phone screen, turned off. He must’ve drank enough to completely forget most of last night- whatever Sahee is talking about, he has no clue. The last thing he remembers is leaving the barbecue place to go pick her and Wooseok up in a taxi.

Ding!

The screen lights up with an instagram notification.

y/n.ing just posted a photo.

Seungyoun hums your name aloud, wondering why it brings a sick feeling to his stomach. He swipes on the notification, opening the instagram app. It takes a moment to load up. He wishes that wouldn’t make him so nervous.

It’s a picture of you from the chest up, lying down on what looks like the floor of a dance practice room, hair splayed out around your face, skin glistening, a bright smile on your face. The kind of smile where your cheeks pull up high, and joy twinkles in your eyes. He can’t see that kind of detail in the photo, but Seungyoun knows that expression. He has it memorized.

One swipe to the left, and there’s a video autoplaying.

“You make me feel special!”

You’re singing and dancing to a song that he knows you loves- extremely dramatically, with your limbs loose and your voice turning the pop song into opera. Your group member Eunmi is visible in the mirror, filming on your phone, and clearly dying laughing. The other two members, Jiseo and Soohyun, are sitting on the couch in the back of the room, smiles evident on their faces.

You tend to do that- light up the room.

Seungyoun scrolls down to read the caption.

‘Team bonding? #Jiseo-unniedon’tkillme #IpromiseI’llpracticemoreseriouslyinthefuture’

He chuckles, scrolling back up to watch the video of you again.

“L/N F/N,” he repeats.

“L/N F/N,” Seungyoun says, finally seeing you after searching the whole surrounding area of the restaurant. “This isn’t the bathroom.”

“...I know,” you say, looking awkward, tugging at the sleeve of your sweater. You talk softly, almost like you don’t want him to hear. “I couldn’t find it.”

“Ah,” Seungyoun cringes, grabbing his head. What is he thinking of? Was that… was that last night?

What the hell was Sahee talking about?

He exits out of instagram and opens messages instead, scrolling down to find your name. When he taps on the conversation, his stomach drops.

Y/N

Seungyoun-oppa… please stop calling me and take care of yourself instead. Have Wooseok-oppa take you home and drink lots of water. If you call your mom I’m sure she’ll bring you some soup tomorrow. Goodnight.

Seungyoun reads the message a hundred times over, his eyes catching on every piece of every word.

He remembers.

He kissed you.

And you left.

Seungyoun looks to the side, catching the way Wooseok’s head is dipped close to you, mumbling something quietly that’s making you smile.

“Yah yah yah!” Jimin shouts, thrusting an accusing finger at you and Wooseok, her cheeks flushed red. “These two look a little suspicious!” she slaps a hand on your shoulder. “Whatcha talkin’ about over there?”

Seungyoun’s eyes narrow as you point nervously to yourself. “Who? Me and Wooseok-oppa?”

Even then, you’d referred to Wooseok that way. When did you start doing that? He hadn’t spent too long thinking about it last night, especially with the way the conversation turned, but Seungyoun is sure that you’d never called his friend and groupmate that before. Why would you have started? Sure, the two of you had seen each other a few times at gatherings where Wooseok tagged along with Seungyoun, but you’ve never been one to throw around casual language without knowing someone well.

Why did you have to call him that?

Slowly, Seungyoun sets his phone back down on the nightstand. He lies down in bed again, putting one of his pillow over top of his head to block out the light.

He feels sick, and it’s not just from the alcohol.

Maybe it’s cowardice… maybe it’s shame. But he can’t face anyone now. Not Sahee, not Wooseok, and not you.

He’ll ignore it, for now.

“Just hang in there a little bit longer, okay?”

You hold your phone next to your ear, curled up in your bed, blankets tucked under your chin.

“Give it a week, and we can go.”

“...Okay,” you respond, your voice croaky. You’d made it through today faking that everything was fine, but as soon as you got into your bedroom, it had all come spilling out in painful, long bouts of tears.

“Y/N-ah,” Wooseok’s voice is comforting, as grating as it sounds through the receiver. “You’re a strong person.”

You hold in the whimper that tugs at your throat. “I don’t feel that way right now.”

“That’s okay,” Wooseok says, and you can imagine the way he probably looks as he’s talking. Kind, always reserved, but tender. “It’s true whether you feel it right now or not. You’ll be alright. Just put your heart into the comeback for now.”

“Okay,” you repeat, unable to come up with much more. “Promise me we’ll take a day off in a week.”

“I promise.”

You sigh in relief, pressing your face into your pillow. “Okay. Thank you. Make sure to eat dinner.”

You hear a semblance of laughter, subdued. “You too. Fighting, L/N Y/N.”

A small smile rises on your lips. “Fighting, Kim Wooseok.”

Seungyoun twirls the cup ramen around with his chopsticks repeatedly, zoning out, letting the noodles get bloated and cold. He stares at the clock on the microwave over the stove. It’s 7:23pm now.

He wonders what you’re up to today. If you’re doing alright. If you’re thinking about him kissing you, or if it didn’t faze you at all. He can’t remember exactly how you reacted. All he knows is that you didn’t kiss him back. He remembers that- the feeling of rejection.

Seungyoun wasn’t expecting it. Maybe that’s why it was so painful.

The two of you have been friends for a few years now. At the beginning, you clearly had no interest in him romantically. He was probably just Jimin’s older guy friend to you- just someone who was funny and nice and fit in well with the group of friends you were building up. Seungyoun remembers when you used to openly talk about other idols you thought were really good looking or charming. He remembers when you even (albeit somewhat jokingly) asked Vernon to set you up with his groupmate Mingyu, since he was “just so handsome, and clean-cut, and kind… what kind of human can be like that?”.

And Seungyoun remembers when things started to shift. When it became clear that you weren’t looking for Vernon to give his group member your number anymore. When you started brushing off Jimin’s teasing about getting a boyfriend, since you’ve been historically solo. He remembers when you started looking at him with a more pensive, adoring expression. Like you were memorizing things about him. Like you were taking everything in that you could.

Seungyoun knew the expression well. It’s how he looks at you, when you’re looking the other way.

You’re not subtle. You’ve never been, in all the time that Seungyoun has known you. In virtually every situation, you’re talkative and fun and supportive- you make yourself known and you make your thoughts clear. Sometimes it’s embarrassing, but most of the time, it’s endearing. He thinks that might be why you’re so popular, among your fans and the public and other idols, too.

But you started to become quieter around him. Careful, like you only wanted to show the best parts of you. A little nervous, like you didn’t want his opinion of you to change even a fraction. It was unlike you.

You’re not subtle. Seungyoun noticed your feelings for him not long after they must have developed.

He doesn’t have enough fingers to count on his hands the number of times that he has looked at you- whether it’s across a table, a room, or on the screen of his phone- and thought that he has to tell you soon. It happens often. Whenever you set your chin on the palm of your hand, and look up at him from underneath your eyelashes. Or when you laugh at something he said. Or when he catches the way that someone else looks at you when they’re interested. But he has never said a word.

And he never planned to.

Seungyoun sighs, twisting the ramen up and taking a bite. It’s definitely unpleasant now. Too much time has passed since he poured the boiling water in.

He has always thought, from the first time that you sat down in front of him, that you are like the sun. Vibrant, energetic, full of light. You are someone who loves fully and absolutely. You are someone who dedicates their entire heart to the things you love and enjoy. You are bright, and you shine without anyone else’s influence.

Seungyoun is like the moon. He can only reflect your own light back at you. And there is a cold, dark part of him, that will only ever drag you down.

Seungyoun has always thought, from the first time that understood who exactly you were, that he is not good enough for you.

“Again,”

Haeyoung’s voice strikes out into the dance room. You quickly reset, and when she counts off, repeat the eight bar section cleanly.

“Good job, Y/N,” your dance coach compliments. “Everyone, follow Y/N’s lead on this one. She’s at the center so the rest of you can relax a little, just make sure to hit count five sharply, there’s a beat in the background of the music that it’ll emphasize if it looks perfect.”

The four of chorus back a yes, ssaem, and reset when she directs you to.

You started dancing when you were barely five- your mom signed you up for ballet classes because her friend’s daughter was doing them too. You hated it. Absolutely hated it. It was boring to you, just learning how to take soft steps with pointed toes, one hand on the barre that was placed in the center of the dance room. It felt like that was all you did for ages.

But your mom forced you to stay in it, telling you that since she paid for it, you were learning ballet for the six months she signed you up for. You complained and complained, but when it came time to decide if you were going to continue, for some reason, you asked your mom if you could stay.

As you got older, learning contemporary, hip-hop, jazz, you realized that there was something about being on stage and performing out to an audience that made your heart race. You loved the feeling of immersing yourself in movement, of letting the music carry you and pull your body in every direction.

When you became a trainee, you weren’t the greatest singer. You could hold a pitch, could sing the easier songs at karaoke, could push out a couple of high-ish notes when prompted. Your lack of skill dug a feeling of fear, inadequacy, anxiety into you. You often felt unsatisfactory, and like your position among the trainees was constantly being threatened. You spent your days in high school rushing from class to the company building, late but present to vocal lessons that weren’t required.

On the day that the president of the company made the final decision on the members of the new girl group, you were late, too.

You were nearly in tears by the time you made it into the room with the other trainees. You’d been held up by the bus you took to get to the company breaking down. You couldn’t afford to take a taxi, so you ran.

You were so afraid, then. Terrified of not being chosen. You felt sick to your stomach, standing in the back of the room, brushing sweaty bangs off of your forehead, hearing the president choose the third member, your friend Soohyun.

You were barely listening. You could only hear muffled voices, like you were underwater, and the pounding of your heart.

“The final member is L/N Y/N. Everyone else is dismissed.”

Those words, you will always remember.

Over time, the snotty comments and criticisms from the other trainees that came as soon as everyone began to file out of the room have faded in your memory. Your shock and overwhelming relief shut them out back then too.

The president wanted to speak directly to the four of you. You were still dazed and weren’t really comprehending what he was saying until he said your name.

You can’t remember now, the entirety of what he said to you. You just remember that he went on about something vague, that you were unpolished and unreliable, that you were not the 4th choice for the other board members and coaches.

“You need to prove yourself,” he said.

“To you, sir?” you asked.

“No,” he shook his head. “To everyone else.”

You stare at yourself in the mirror of the dance room, feeling like your eyes are someone else’s. Jiseo, Eunmi, and Soohyun move around you, grabbing water and talking while everyone takes a break.

You look so tired.

It’s more than just the dark circles under your eyes and dull skin. It’s more than the exhausted posture of someone who has been working the whole day. It’s more than the sweat collecting above your brow.

You just look so tired.

Are you proving yourself? Have you done it already? If you haven’t, are you getting close? Will you ever?

Your feet sweep around lightly underneath you, gaze unfocusing as you go through the steps of the choreo again. You do it mindlessly, limbs following the memory that’ll be imprinted in your mind for years. You still remember routines that you learned when you were 12.

“Y/N-ah?”

You stop when you feel Jiseo’s hand on your upper arm, and turn to look at her, bringing your vision into focus like you just put glasses on. Her brows furrow.

“Take a break with the rest of us.”

“Hm?” you tilt your head. You’d realized that was what they were doing. Why didn’t you join? “Okay.”

You follow Jiseo to the couch at the back of the dance room, sitting down and taking a sip out of your water bottle. You stare at yourself through the mirror. You still see the image of yourself dancing.

You need to prove yourself.

To everyone else.

Seungyoun sits on the couch in the dorm. The kids are at school, and it seems like Seungwoo and Wooseok are both out and about. He came here because he was tired of being alone, but he’s just as lonely anyway.

Sahee keeps calling him and he keeps ignoring her.

Seungyoun looks at the recents list on the telephone app, his old friend’s name the first twenty at least. It’s been a few days. She still seems desperate to get in contact with him. Before her numerous calls are a few from his manager, Seungwoo, and Jimin. All of them went unanswered.

He has to scroll down pretty far to see your name.

The last time he called and you answered was when you told him that Sahee was in love with him. He doesn’t know how he never realized. Maybe it’s because he had been so focused on you and your feelings for him- his longtime composer friend having romantic feelings for him hadn’t even seemed plausible or relevant.

You cried that day. He could feel your guilt and anxiety through the call, without ever seeing your face. He knew something had happened when all of you were at Jimin’s house, he had assumed that as soon as Sahee came in from the balcony without you. He just hadn’t expected it would be something that weighed down on you so heavily you would snap at him not once but twice. Seungyoun has the feeling there was more to whatever Sahee said to you than what you relayed to him, but he doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to ask now.

Seungyoun’s thumb hovers over your name. If he calls you now, what would you say to him? He’s desperate to know. It’s been clinging to him ever since he remembered what happened. A part of him doesn’t want to believe that you would really reject him. Even if he did make his move while wasted, that doesn’t mean you would suddenly stop liking him, right?

He groans, his head beginning to hurt with all the thoughts flying around in his head, and presses your name.

Immediately, the call screen pops up, and he presses his phone to his ear as the ringtone blares.

It only takes a few seconds before a robotic female voice rings into his ears. “Line busy. Would you like to leave a message?”

Seungyoun sighs, pressing the red button that will hang up the call. It’s probably better that you didn’t answer anyway. He slumps back against the couch.

“As long as you’re getting through it,”

Seungyoun lifts his head, watching Wooseok come in through the front door, phone to his ear.

“Yeah, I’m okay too. I just got home.”

Wooseok doesn’t seem to notice him, locking the door behind him and slipping off his shoes.

“Yeah, see you soon. Bye.” he chuckles, then adds, “Don’t worry, I will. Bye.”

Seungyoun stares at his groupmate, brows furrowing. Finally, Wooseok realizes that someone is there, and with a slight step back in surprise, lifts his brows.

“Oh, Seungyoun. I didn’t know you came back.”

“Yeah, I did this morning.” Seungyoun can’t keep the apprehensive expression off his face. “Who were you on the phone with?”

“Ah,” Wooseok pauses for a moment. “My mom.”

Seungyoun nods but doesn’t say anything. He’s not sure why, but there’s a cold tension in the air between them.

Wooseok begins pulling off his coat, continuing to talk. “She wanted to make sure I’m eating well, that’s all. And you know she doesn’t like to hang up easily.”

A smile cracks on Seungyoun’s lips. He does know that. Wooseok’s mom is notorious for making him late in the morning before schedules.

“There’s soup in the fridge. I had some earlier.” he says, pointing to the kitchen. “There’s some extra scallions I chopped up next to it too, you should add that.”

Wooseok nods, one corner of his lip barely lifting up. “Thanks. I’m gonna go shower. Text back Seungwoo-hyung, I don’t know if he’s coming back from his parents’ house tonight or not.”

Seungyoun nods. “Yeah, sure.”

Wooseok sets the things in his pockets on the counter and heads down the hall, presumably to the bathroom.

Seungyoun replies to the leader’s questioning text from last night as he hears the water start to run in the bathroom. He quickly goes back to the call list, a frown drawing together on his face. For some reason, he can’t get rid of the strange feeling in his chest. Something just seems off.

He presses your name again, pressing the speaker button so that the call just rings out loud.

It doesn’t cut off this time.

It rings and rings, and you don’t answer.

You don’t have a voicemail message, like most idols. It’s a way to try and prevent sasaengs from being sure that they have the right number when they call. All that comes out of the speaker is that same automated voice, asking Seungyoun if he’d like to leave a message after the beep.

Seungyoun’s eyes drift up to Wooseok’s phone, sitting flat on the counter across the room. He hesitates.

Then he shakes his head, shoving his own phone into his pocket. Seungyoun gets up and walks over to the kitchen, pulling the soup out of the fridge and pouring it into a pot to start heating it up.

“I really appreciate you meeting with me.”

You don’t bother matching the gaze of the girl in front of you, instead choosing to look out over the balcony of the bar you’re at. It’s a penthouse space on a moderately tall building near a few parks. The view isn’t bad, even at night.

“I can only stay for fifteen minutes,” you tell her, tapping your fingers on the table. You don’t explain why.

“Still,” Sahee says, her voice earnest. “I appreciate it.”

“What is it that you want to say to me?” you ask, getting straight to the point. You realize that you might be being excessively harsh in your word choice, but you’re tired after a long day of preparations for the comeback, and you don’t really want to be here. You only agreed to meet her because pretending like nothing ever happened was beginning to weigh on your conscience.

“I just want you to know what happened that night,” she says, becoming quieter. “After you left.”

Your jaw is tight. “I don’t really care to know.”

Sahee’s eyes flare. “Really? You know more than just me and Seungyoun are involved, right? Jimin and Vernon and Hyunggu were there too. Your friends. And Kim Wooseok.”

“I know who was there,” you reply bitterly.

“Then you should realize that it matters, what happened,” she snaps back. Then, after a moment of silence between you, Sahee settles back into her chair and seems to cool off. “Sorry.”

“Whatever,” you mutter.

“Seungyoun came back from looking for you drunk as fuck, crying, and wouldn’t explain what happened. He just kept trying to take shots even though Vernon was trying to stop him.” you cringe subtly at the thought, and Sahee seems to notice, her eyes narrowing. “Out of nowhere, he went off on me and Jimin, saying that it was all our faults, because I love him and because Jimin knew you and Seungyoun both had feelings for each other but never said anything to either one.”

You flinch. Seungyoun having feelings for you. You still don’t think it’s something you really believe.

“Anyway, the boys tried to stand up to him for Jimin and I, but Seungyoun was wasted out of his mind and having none of it. He tried to throw a punch at Vernon and broke like three glasses on the table.” Sahee shakes her head, sighing. “Wooseok grabbed him and I guess that calmed him down enough, but by that point Jimin was yelling at him and the owners were coming by to see what happened. It was a fucking disaster.”

Your eyes drift off to the view to your left again. “...Okay.”

“Okay?” Sahee repeats, sounding borderline astounded. “Don’t you feel any shame at all? He wouldn’t ever done this if you hadn’t-”

“If I hadn’t what?” you round on her, unable to hold in your frustration any longer. “What is wrong with you? You don’t know shit about me! You just keep interfering in my life and in Seungyoun’s life and in my friends’ too. It’s not my problem that you love him and he doesn’t love you, okay? It’s not my fucking problem!”

“I just don’t understand why you would give him up after all that time treating him like he was the love of your fucking life,” Sahee hisses. “You had the audacity to act all innocent when in reality you were just playing around with his feelings.”

“Don’t you think I felt that way too?” you exclaim, palms slamming onto the table. “Don’t you think I felt like he was playing around with my feelings? If it was as obvious as everyone is making it seem that I loved him, and he just let me think that he didn’t know and nobody else did either, while still doing things that made me feel like there was a chance he might love me back- don’t you think I felt like I was getting toyed with? I felt like my heart was breaking every time he said a word about our friendship, I felt like such an idiot because I could never move on. You think I’m the one who had the audacity to act a certain way? Don’t just throw all the blame on me because it’s easy!”

“I’m blaming you because it’s your fault,” Sahee emphasizes, and you let out a laugh of astonishment.

“You’re fucking delusional,” you tell her. “You should be embarrassed of yourself.”

“I don’t care what you think of me,” Sahee says, crossing her arms and leaning back in her chair. “I just want you to answer Seungyoun so you can clear up the air about you not caring about him anymore.”

Your jaw drops, and another short laugh escapes your lips. Is she serious? “What, are you thinking he’ll suddenly fall in love with you if I tell him I’m not interested? Where did you get the idea that I don’t care about him anymore?”

Sahee doesn’t answer, seemingly stewing in her anger at you.

You shake your head, grabbing your bag and standing up. “I hope you stay healthy and find happiness, Sahee-ssi. Please never contact me again.”

You don’t stick around to hear if she says anything under her breath about you. You just leave, walking to the elevator and getting in alone, hearing the ding of twelve floors as you go down. You glance at your phone and see the notifications of two missed calls from earlier. Both Seungyoun. You sigh. You shut your phone off, and exit the building.

And you go back to pretending like nothing ever happened.

Wooseok thinks you look the prettiest when the sun strikes your face. He hasn’t been able to see you that way very often, because of the situations that the two of you have to meet up in. Always at night, or in dingy lighting in small restaurants that nobody really frequents. Nonetheless, the few times he has been able to see the way light shines across your skin and sets a fire in your eyes, he always thinks to himself that you look pretty.

Truthfully, he has always thought you were, even before the first time that he met you. Sure, Soohyun was the more active model and brand ambassador in your group, but you still appeared in your fair share of advertisements and TV shows. Wooseok had seen you around for a while before ever being introduced to you.

You’re smiling now, with a childlike innocence lacing your expression. Your fingers sift through the sand, and the breeze lifts your hair, curling it across your cheeks.

Wooseok feels something tug at his heart. He wants to tell you. How pretty you are. But your words from months ago ring in his head whenever he thinks about saying anything.

“Am I wrong for wanting him to say that I look pretty in a photo? I hear it often, but I just want to hear it from him.”

It won’t matter to you, whether he thinks you look one way or another. It’s Seungyoun who you want to hear those words from. He doesn’t want to confuse your heart any further. So he stays quiet.

“Isn’t the beach so nice?” you ask, looking over at him. Wooseok smiles back.

“It is,” he agrees.

You warned him that the two of you won’t be able to see each other for awhile after today. You were able to sneak out for the whole day thanks to your group members’ efforts, but going forward, you’d be far too busy with actual promotions to make time for Wooseok. Or anyone besides the group, for that matter.

Like the two of you had planned, you came back to Busan. Wooseok knows that you need it. He can feel the heaviness in your touch when you grab his hand, in your voice when you talk, and in your features when your expression changes. He thinks something else may have happened yesterday too, since you seemed especially weighed down when he met you at the bottom of your apartment building this morning. But he doesn’t want to bring it up for fear of upsetting you, not when you’re supposed to be relaxing.

“Thank you, Wooseok.” you say out of the blue, shuffling so that you’re lying down completely on the beach towel beneath you. You shut your eyes, a content smile resting on your lips.

“What for?” he asks, looking down at you. You open one eye to peek at him.

“For being there for me.”

Wooseok isn’t sure how to respond. “...You’re welcome.”

Your eye shuts again, and you stretch your arms out in front of you, the smile fading from your face. “I’m not a bother, right? You know you can tell me if I am.”

Wooseok frowns. “You’re not.”

“I’m just not sure I’m good enough for you.” you chuckle, but it sounds somewhat bitter. “Or anyone, for that matter.”

“Of course you are,” Wooseok replies simply, although his teeth tug at his bottom lip.

“Are you sure?”

He knows you’re somewhat insecure. It seems to permeate so many parts of your life. He just hates to confront it. It reminds him of the person he had been once, too.

“Y/N-ah,” Wooseok says gently. “I’m happy being with you.”

He worries for a moment, that he might have said too much. Not in terms of the number of words, but of what the words he did say reveal.

Your response is croaky. “I’m happy with you, too.”

Wooseok’s heart swells again.

How could he ever have imagined this? The first time you talked to him, he was cringing internally at how awkward and desperate you seemed. You were clinging to his groupmate’s every word and action, and it nearly made Wooseok feel sick.

But there was always something endearing about you. About the way you seemed to try so hard to see the good in others, and to live up to others’ expectations. You tried hard at everything.

Wooseok never thought he would come to care about you this much.

His mind drifts off when you go quiet again, the only sounds around him the soft rhythm of your breath, seagulls cawing, and the crash of waves against the shore.

He wonders, sometimes, if it’s fair for him to even feel this way. If what happened just over a week ago is anything to go off of, Seungyoun actually does love you. Wooseok had just never cared enough to notice, since his friend and group member never explicitly mentioned it. He doesn’t know the details on why Seungyoun kept his feelings to himself when it was so obvious that you felt strongly towards him, but evidently, the feelings are there. If he knew how Wooseok thinks about you, probably in the same way that he does, could they even maintain their friendship?

Wooseok glances down at you again. You look more peaceful now, maybe since he’s reassured you. Despite how obvious you had been about Seungyoun, he can’t tell what kind of feelings you harbor for him. He wants to believe they’re more than platonic, but then again, you never treat him like you’d treated Seungyoun.

He sighs, then lies down next to you, putting one arm under his head as he shuts his own eyes, letting the sun graze over his skin.

The wind is cool. The sun is hot. The ocean spray lightly lands on him, enough to feel good.

Your hand bumps into his. He thinks it’s an accident, until you lace your fingers through his.

“Thank you,” you repeat, sounding sleepy this time. Wooseok opens his eyes to turn his head in your direction. Your chest is rising and falling slowly, with the beat of drifting off to sleep.

He squeezes your hand in response.

It’s late at night when Wooseok finally returns to the dorm. Seungyoun hasn’t looked at the clock for a while- he’s just been on his phone, scrolling through social media.

Wooseok tries to be quiet when he comes in, but still ends up making enough noise to draw Seungyoun’s attention.

“Yah,” he calls quietly. “Where were you? We all had dinner together tonight. Seungwoo-hyung was hoping you’d make it.”

Wooseok takes a while to respond, only doing so once he has made it into the living room. He shakes off his hair, though Seungyoun isn’t sure why. “I just went to see a friend for the day. I’ll apologize to the kids and Seungwoo tomorrow.”

“Oh, who?” Seungyoun asks, trying to make casual conversation. He can’t help but feel that things have been stiff between him and Wooseok since whatever went on that night that he kissed you. He can’t remember how he got home or what happened after you drove away. He gets the feeling it was a lot to deal with for Wooseok.

Wooseok hesitates to answer. “Just… just someone.”

Seungyoun frowns, but doesn’t press it.

“I’m gonna go change,” Wooseok says, and heads down the hall.

“Do it quietly,” Seungyoun calls after him, hearing a Wooseok make noise of understanding following his words.

Seungyoun tries to go back to scrolling on his phone, but now he feels super awake again, and his awkward position on the couch isn’t helping. He turns his phone off and stretches out his limbs with a groan, standing up for the first time in hours. He makes his way over to the kitchen, opening the cupboard to find a glass so he can get some water.

Ding!

Seungyoun frowns, looking down at his phone, but he didn’t get any notifications.

He pulls a glass down from the cupboard and shuts the door, looking across the counter to where Wooseok’s phone is once again sitting face down on the counter.

Ding!

It goes off again, light peeking out from between the screen and the countertop.

Seungyoun shakes his head, knowing it’d be wrong to look at his groupmate’s phone. He walks over to the fridge, setting his glass under the water dispenser and letting it fill up.

Ding!

“What the hell,” Seungyoun grumbles, setting the glass down on the counter and walking over to Wooseok’s phone, flipping it over with the intention of just turning the ringer off.

He freezes as soon as he sees the screen.

Y/N-ah

oppa seriously you’re so lame…

why did you leave money in my jacket, i told you i would pay since i asked you to come >:|

oh well guess i have to see you again to give it back~~~!!!

Seungyoun stares until the screen fades to black, and all he can see is the reflection of his face, dark and blurry.

“Ah,” he says to himself, his voice barely there, just a hollow sound more than anything. “A friend.”

Ding!

The screen lights up again. Seungyoun’s eyes drift down to your name again, although the new notification is unrelated. He feels something tighten around his heart- something like a vine, or a rope, squeezing and tearing into him, clenching and binding in his chest. It starts to suffocate him, a stifling pain deep inside as he reads over your name in Wooseok’s phone again, as he reads the message, and understands exactly what it implies.

His head is spinning. It doesn’t feel real. He doesn’t want it to feel real.

Seungyoun’s fingers clench around the phone, and he finds his way to the unlock screen, typing in the password he’s seen Wooseok use a thousand times.

He lets out a bitter laugh once he sees what the background of his friend and groupmate’s home screen is.

What else could it be?

There you are. It’s a candid image- you’re wearing the pink coat that he remembers you buying about a year ago now. You’re not wearing makeup and he hates that that seems unfamiliar. You always seemed to want to look clean and dressed up whenever you were around him. Are you more comfortable with Wooseok? Your hair doesn’t look done either.

He wonders where exactly the two of you went today. Why Wooseok was gone from the early morning to the late night.

Seungyoun opens the photo gallery, a heavy feeling settling in the pit of his stomach.

Another short, astonished laugh leaves his lips.

“What are you doing?”

Wooseok’s voice rings out clearly, and he sounds a lot less friendly and quiet than before. Seungyoun glances over his shoulder, but can’t bring himself to make eye contact. He doesn’t answer, either, focused on the first image in Wooseok’s photos.

“Cho Seungyoun,” Wooseok says with a warning tone, and punctuates every word. “What are you doing?”

“I should ask you the same thing,” Seungyoun says sourly, finally turning around and holding up Wooseok’s phone. “What exactly were you doing with Y/N today? She’s ‘just someone’? She doesn’t look like ‘just someone’, if I had to guess-”

“Are you serious?” Wooseok’s face is cold as he cuts him off. “You’re looking through my phone?”

“That’s what you’re bringing up?” Seungyoun lets out a bemused puff of air.

“Yes,” Wooseok replies, walking forward and snatching the phone out of Seungyoun’s hand. “You should know better. It’s not your business.”

Seungyoun knows that he’s right, and that he can’t argue with whatever is on Wooseok’s phone not being his business. But it feels like his business, because you’re involved. He can’t help the snarl on his lips when he jabs a finger into Wooseok’s chest.

“What are you doing with Y/N? Taking her to the beach, taking couple pictures with her? What are you fucking doing?”

Wooseok laughs then, too. Shortly. “What does it matter to you?”

Seungyoun clenches his fists and talks through grit teeth. He’s never wanted to hit someone so badly. “What do you fucking mean by that?”

“You got too used to having Y/N give you all her love and never giving any back,” Wooseok bites out at him. “How is anyone supposed to believe that you actually care about her? What have you ever done that proves that you do? You just let her cling to you and adore you without being there for her. You let her destroy her own self-worth just because you didn’t have the courage to say that you loved her, even when you knew she felt the same way. So what does it matter to you, if I do all the things you never bothered to?”

After Wooseok finishes talking, there is nothing between them but empty space and empty noise and tension so thick it would take a sharp knife to cut through.

Seungyoun stares at Wooseok, feeling like in this moment, both of them are unrecognizable. He never intended to drag this many people into whatever was going on between the two of you. He never planned for it to become like this, where he and one of his closest friends are butting heads over you, fighting in a dorm where nine other people are sleeping. Nine people who rely on them.

It was always supposed to be just you and Seungyoun, until the moment when you would inevitably fall out of love with him and peacefully move on. Then it would just be Seungyoun.

Instead, it was you and Seungyoun, and Sahee, and Wooseok, and Jimin and Vernon and Hyunggu, and the members of your group, and the members of his, too. All of them had been affected.

“Fuck,” Seungyoun sobs, turning around to set his elbows on the counter so he can put his head in his hands, raking his fingers through his already messy hair. “Fuck. Fuck!”

“Seungyoun,” Wooseok says, but Seungyoun just shakes his head.

“Fuck,” he repeats, aching in pain, feeling his throat close up as tears well up in the corners of his eyes.

He feels a hand lightly land on his shoulder, giving him what he thinks is supposed to be a comforting pat. “Try not to stay up too late. I’m going to sleep. We can talk tomorrow.”

Seungyoun doesn’t reply. That only made it worse.

Once he has heard the door to Wooseok’s room shut, he crumples to the floor, trembling and crying, trying to muffle it all so that the younger members won’t wake up and hear him.

All he can think is why. Why did he do this? He did this to himself.

Seungyoun is still in love with you. And now, he will never have you.

#aaa #cho seungyoun x reader #cho seungyoun #seungyoun x reader #kim wooseok x reader #wooseok x reader #kim wooseok #x1 x reader #x1 imagines #x1 scenarios #x1 angst #x1 fluff #x1 au #i love pain and suffering :)

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jellyoungs · 5 years ago

Text

Strawberry — Kang Minhee

Promenade with Kang Minhee

summary: Minhee is well known for his goofy and savage attitude. But when it comes to you, he just becomes the shy little strawberry boy he truly is.

a/n: My prom night has been bothering me this past few days and it suddenly gave me an idea of writing how would minhee be before, during and after prom because my prom was like a roller coaster ride lol. I also mentioned some of x1 and cravity members :))

BEFORE PROM:

let’s be honest

prom is a huge thing for girls

it’s like a once in a lifetime princess hours for every girl

but when prom was announced in your school, you were shockingly uninterested

you don’t even know why

maybe it’s because a saturday night in front of netflix and a bucket of chicken wings sounds better?

but of course, your friends are going crazy about you not attending the most awaited event

so they did their best to encourage you to come

to the point that minhee has received the news

and since the two of you are close friends

and he just happened to not have a date as well

he messaged you about this

mini: heyyyyy are you attending prom?

you: idk lol

you: how bout you??

mini: i will

mini: but heyyy

mini: will you go to prom with me

you: yea sure HAHAHAHA

to be honest you had mix emotions with that text message

you are 40% confused and 60% disappointed

disappointed bcs a lot of people have been posting and sharing stories abt how great their promposals were

and then for you.... it was just a text message

but either way, you are thankful and now you have a reason to attend prom

so you tell your friends abt this, even the littlest detail

in short, one of your friends told minhee abt you being a little bit disappointed with how he asked you for prom

so minhee made this small plan to ask you out once again

but this time it doesn’t involve text messages, instead it’s your favorite food

strawberries

anyways, it was a normal afternoon for you

and you were planning to head straight home so you could catch up with the netflix series you are currently watching

but junho, eunsang and taeyoung just had to stop you from leaving

“heyyy, we were asked by our art teacher to tell you to go to the art room,” eunsang said with a huge smile.

honestly, it was a sketchy smile and you were a little bit nervous

but you didn’t ask more and just headed for the art room

and when once you open the door you are greeted by a gorgeous boy

i mean cake

no i actually really meant the boy

there stood minhee in the middle of the room holding a burnt strawberry cheesecake

you just couldn’t help but giggle at the sight

minhee’s hair was a little bit messy and his face and clothes have a little bit of flour

cute

“what’s this for?”

minhee just shrug, trying to act cool

but you can actually see how red his ears were

“sooo... i made this cake for you but it’s kinda burnt. so here’s some strawberries instead” he said before giving you a bowl of strawberries

“thanks mini but what’s with the cake?”

minhee just smiled sheepishly at you, “will you be my prom date?” he asked with his cheeks getting red just like the strawberries he gave

“didn’t i say yes already?”

“i mean yeah but i heard you were a little bit disappointed and i’m also disappointed with myself because what i did was lame”

you couldn’t but giggle once again

you just shook your head and took out a hankie and wiped some of the flour he has in his face

“you didn’t have to ask me again, you know. plus being your date is much more important to me than the promposal”

he just shrugged before taking a good strawberry from the burnt cake and feeding it to you

“damn prom is going to be great with you and me together,” he said before you fed him some strawberries to shut him up

DURING PROM:

at the day itself i believe minhee would be so nervous

so serim, seungwoo and wooseok had to create a corsage for him

but anyways he would tell you that he would be waiting for you at the hotel lobby

and when you arrive, you couldn’t help but blush

because minhee just happened to look like an actual disney prince

but of course, you couldn’t help but laugh at how nervous he looks

to the point he would forget about getting you a corsage

you could see him fidgeting and his ears being red once again

and then he finally notices you and his mouth slowly opened

and it just goes wider as you walk towards him

he would instantly compliment you

“i thought you were a disney princess for a moment”

“well i thought you were a disney prince for a moment as well”

cue minhee’s cheeks getting red along with his ears

as the night sky grows darker, minhee still hasn’t left your side

you were growing conscious because a lot of girls were staring at the both you already

also, his friends were teasing the both of you

like just a minute ago jungmo and wonjin came towards the both of you and started chanting prom king and queen to the both of you

not gonna lie, you were kinda embarrassed

and thankfully minhee noticed this

“why won’t we go out in the garden for some fresh air?”

while the two of you were sitting silently at the hotel’s empty garden

you couldn’t help but shiver with the cold air tickling you

and minhee noticed this once again

so he took his suit blazer off and placed it on top of your shoulders

you also noticed how red his ears are

“you know, i’m actually really having fun” he confessed

“same, to be honest, i thought you were going to leave at some point of the night. but you just stood beside me as if we are glued with one another” you joked making his cheeks turn into the shade of pink

“i actually wanna ask if you wanna....” he trailed off

you were about to ask him what he wanted to ask when he shook his head

“do you wanna dance again?”

you just giggled at him before taking his hand that he was holding out for you

while you guys are dancing at the garden with only a few fairy lights and the bright moon lighting the both of you, you couldn’t help but fall in love with your date

he just looks so amazing with the moonlight shining on him

you shifted yourself and placed both of your arms around his neck

minhee instantly froze with the shortened distance between the both of you

but he recovered easily as he placed both of his hands on your waist

even pulling you closer and swaying the both of you slowly

as you stared at him, he hums a familiar song

“are you humming lover by taylor swift?”

“yeah, i heard from dongpyo that you love the song”

you couldn’t help but smile at him

you placed your head on his chest near his heart, as he chuckles softly

“god i’m so thankful i asked you out for prom”

AFTER PROM:

after prom, you thought your night was over

minhee also suddenly disappeared from your sight

so you just chucked at yourself and was about to go down to the lobby when someone stopped you

“you’re leaving? let me take you home instead”

he said with his gorgeous smile

you just smiled also before shrugging

after all your parents were picking you up

so instead of taking you home, minhee just stood beside you waiting at the lobby for your parents

he insisted that he wanted to stay with you and make sure that you get home safely

sweet

so the two of you just casually chatted

when he suddenly brought up a topic

“about what i wanted to ask you awhile ago at the garden...” he said

you just look at him as he fidgets

"i actually wanna ask you... if you wanna go on a date after school on monday?”

you were of course baffled with his question

but you find yourself smiling at him sweetly

before kissing his left cheek

“i would love to go on a date with you”

he just stood there smiling at you widely

before taking your left picky and hooking it up with his right pinky

“i want to hold your hands but i’m too shy”

you couldn’t help but laugh with what he has said

you just nodded while smiling as you hold tightly in his pinky

“gosh i really like you and your strawberry cheeks and ears,” you said as minhee turn even redder

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seokmattchuus · 3 years ago

Text

Dreamy - Wooseok

A/n: Not my best. I'm so sorry. Did I proofread? I don't know. I'm so sorry pt. 2.

- Requested -

You were kneeling on his bed, his soft blanket pressing against your knees. His grip tightened on your throat, waiting for your response. You knew he wanted an answer, but you couldn't find the words.

"You know nobody fucks you better than I do." He smirked down at you. "How could you think he'd compare?" He shook his head with a tsk as he let go, a small whine coming from you.

"See? I already have you wrapped around my finger." He scoffed. "How pathetic."

You felt the blood rush to your cheeks, but you didn't mind. He liked seeing you like this.

"What should I do with you, hm?" He thought out loud, his head tilting to mock you.

He turned and pondered on the thought, too many ideas running through his mind to pick a single one. Until it hit him. Maybe he shouldn't do anything at all. Why would he? You didn't deserve it.

But you were sitting pretty on his bed. He could let it slide, right?

He turned back towards you, a small smile forming as he took in all of you. He was surprised you even showed up but he would never let you know that.

But he was going to let you know that your decision to leave was something to regret. Not that you didn't already know that.

"What's the point in giving you what you want? Who's to say you're not going to run back to him?"

Part of him didn't care that much given how you came back anyway, but the other part of him was genuinely hurt. He didn't want to see you with someone else. He didn't even like the thought of it.

"I won't." You shook your head. "I'll stay. I'll never think about anyone else again."

He smirked and licked his lips. You always knew what to say.

"You're always such a good girl for me." He smiled down at you, his hand softly caressing your cheek. His thumb resting over your lips, a silent signal for you to suck on it. Once your lips parted and wrapped around it, he hummed. "Are you this good for him?"

This time he didn't want an answer. His thumb pressing down onto your tongue to open your mouth. The jealous part of him was always like this, but you weren't complaining.

"I don't doubt it." He scoffed as he held your mouth open. "You're always eager to please."

You wanted to tell him he was wrong. That you're only a good girl for him. That you were stupid for thinking someone could replace him because of course the one person you find ends up being the tamest motherfucker you've ever met.

But you couldn't.

Not only because of his thumb, but all the words were stuck in your throat. Even if you could, you didn't know the order to say them, or if he even cared to hear it. It would just give him more to hold against you.

His thumb slipped out of your mouth and dragged down below your chin, lifting it slightly.

"Say it." He looked down at you.

You played dumb, giving him your best innocent eyes in hopes he'd let it slide.

"You forget that I know you." He scoffed with a smirk. "The look on your face says it all." His hand traveled down to your neck, wrapping itself around, but not squeezing.

You tensed at the touch, your breath hitching as you waited for the grip.

"Say it." He repeated. "And I'll give you what you want."

You swallowed hard at the promise. He knew you wouldn't be here if you had successfully replaced him.

"I-" You licked your lips, swallowing again as his eyes stayed on yours. "I need you."

He pressed slightly, forcing a frustrated whine out of you.

"We both know you can do better than that, baby."

"I need you, please," You whined. "I was stupid. I never should have left that day." You continued. "I thought I wanted something more than sex but once I found it, it wasn't good enough." You let out another frustrated sigh. "He's nothing compared to you." Your eyes took up the begging part, needy tears glossing over them.

His grip tightens a little more.

"I just really need you." You whimpered, wanting nothing more than for him to push you back and give you something, anything. Even if he was just teasing. You'd put up with teasing all night if it meant he'd finally touch you.

"And why should I?" He raised a brow, pushing you back by your neck and holding you there. "How could I take something that's not mine?"

"I'm yours." You breathed out. "All yours."

There was no hesitation to your response, and you meant every word.

"Mine?" He scoffed as he tightened his grip again. This time for him. "But you let someone else touch you?" He tightened it again. His voice coming out deeper as his emotions got the best of him. "Let someone else fuck you?" His grip had fully tightened. "I bet you let him taste you, too, huh?" His lip twitched as the words came out, almost as if that was the worst part.

You wanted to shake your head, but his hold was too strong.

"No." You breathed out. "He's only touched me." You closed your eyes. "But nothing compared to you."

The corner of his lips curved into a smile.

"Then I guess I should give you what you want."

You let out a small breath of relief as he pulled you back towards him, smashing his lips to yours.

The kiss was everything you'd been wanting. It was rough, but passionate. His hands wrapped around your face as he leaned over you, the pressure pushing you back onto the bed while he climbed over you.

You sighed into the kiss as his hand trailed down to your waist, lightly teasing before going back up. You wanted to complain about it, but you let it go, not wanting to distract him.

He moved his lips down your neck, pressing light kisses down your chest and towards your hips, smirking when you squirmed.

"Watch me, baby." He whispered teasingly as his hands pushed your thighs apart. "I want you to see how much better I am than him."

The tone held a hint of jealousy, but it only made you more needy. The closer he got to you, the more anxious you got until his breath was hitting you lightly.

"What's wrong?" Kevin asked, as he woke you up, his voice full of concern. "You're covered in sweat."

"I-" You stop yourself to breathe, reality finally hitting you as you take in your surroundings.

Kevin's room.

Not Wooseok's.

"It was just a-" You sigh and offer him a small smile in hopes to reassure him.

"Just a dream."

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bluecorner20 · 5 years ago

Text

X1 - Types of love (Part 1)

What’s your love with X1 like ?

Seungwoo: kissing your forehead, carrying you to bed, sitting on his lap, letting you wear his shirts (and finding it’s the most adorable thing), cooking for you, breakfast on bed, looking in your eyes when you’re talking, staying home and cuddling, getting a tattoo which relates to you, singing for you a lullaby, making sure that you always know he love you so much.

Seungyoun: getting matching tattoo, passionate kisses, driving you home, writing songs/poems for you, making you laugh when you’re sad, calling you his muse, cheering notes for each other, resting your head on his shoulder, buying for you anything he think of you, treating you like you’re the only girl in the world.

Wooseok: late night dates, admiring you when you’re sleeping, singing your favorite song, teasing you, soft neck kisses, random bouquets for you, romantic dinners, having his hands on your waist, kissing in the rain, couple rings/bracelets, whispering that he love you in the morning, making your and his love story lasts forever

Yohan: walking you home, caressing your hair, carrying you on his back, smiling between kisses, overprotective, kissing your tears away when you cry, curling your hair, amusement park dates, matching t-shirts, your name in his contact list is “my Y/N”, glad to take you to greet his family, making you feel you’re his first and last.

Hangyul: screaming to the ocean, pillow fights, laughing until you burst into tears, shopping dates, smiling at you falling asleep in his arms, riding bicycle together in the morning, sharing laughs over funny stories, carrying your bag, teaching you dance, playful kisses, sharing his favorite song/choreography with you, all he want to spend his time is being with you.

#Hangyul #yohan #seungyoun #seungwoo #wooseok #hanseungwoo #kimwooseok #choseungyoun #lee hangyul #x1 #x1 imagines #x1 scenarios #seungyoun imagines #seungwoo imagine #wooseok imagine #yohan imagines #kim yohan #hangyul imagines

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thirsty-x1 · 5 years ago

Text

Reactions/MTL Masterlist

All of the following works belong to thirsty-x1 on tumblr. Replication of the works in any form such as copying, stealing, plagiarising and translating is prohibited. All works are fiction unless stated otherwise.

Requesting rules

References:

[S] = Smut

[F] = Fluff

[A] = Angst

✧ = Personal Fave

Bulletpoint/Reactions to:

S/o dressing up as a kitten (Wooseok)

S/o cosplaying favorite anime girl (Seungyoun)

Hyung line as boyfriends

S/o getting period cramps

Crushing on you

Discovering s/o has a cosplay kink

Reader being their little sister

Reader wanting more than a fwb relationship

Having a crush on other member’s sister

S/o sitting on their lap and kissing their neck

S/o wearing a school girl uniform for Halloween

Members seeing their s/o speaking with their ex

S/o dropping hints that they are in the mood ;)

S/o provoking them by mentioning another member

Girlfriend asking them to have her first time w/ them

S/o talking about them in their sleep

S/o receiving hate from fans

S/o getting touchy in public

Waking up next to bestfriend!reader after hooking up drunk

S/o having their pictures around

Bias not being them (boyfriend!hyung line)

S/o being shy first days of relationship

S/o backhugging them and being clingy

S/o not paying attention to them

S/o being clumsy

S/o doing the Dongpyo aegyo

S/o getting scared because of a stalker

S/o putting a pervert/flirt in their place

S/o fangirling to their concept evaluation performance

S/o accidentally revealing they pictured a future together ✧

Overhearing s/o practicing their confession

Realizing they are in love with bestfriend!s/o

S/o being bullied at work/college

Finding out they are their crush’s ideal type

S/o asking if they want to join for showering

Seeing their kid for the first time after serving

S/o falling asleep while video chatting

Filming MV with their crush/partner

S/o babying maknae line

Trying to make happy s/o after making them mad

S/o kissing them whilst they are asleep

S/o waking them up with kisses

S/o not wanting physical contact out of nowhere

S/o watching fansign videos and getting jealous

S/o getting sick

S/o getting turned on at them wearing suits

S/o proposing to them nonchalantly

S/o dry humping a pillow ✧

S/o caught dancing to one of their songs

S/o completely naked and just chilling

S/o being into age play

S/o being drunk for the first time

Telling them you’re pregnant after trying for some time

S/o feeling stressed because of work/study

S/o calling them oppa when they are needy

S/o sitting on their lap to hide their boner

Meeting their long lost child for the first time ✧

Shy s/o initiates physical contact

Best friend/crush getting heartbroken

Foreign s/o talking dirty in their native language

S/o saying they are horny at a formal event

S/o uncomfortable because of a drunk/touchy person

Best friend tells them they are pregnant after a hook up

S/o’s parents disapproving their relationship

Using toys on their s/o for the first time

S/o wanting to break up to protect their career/reputation

S/o wanting to try vibrator in their underwear (?)

Having a sex scene with their crush

S/o teasing them whilst their parents are at home

Their sibling naming their first son after them ✧

S/o asking to be marked by them

Foreigner s/o moving to Korea and being down

Finding out they have a size kink for their s/o

Hearing another member have sex in the next room

S/o wearing lingerie for the first time

Their best friend/crush’s kid calling them “dad” ✧

Their kid having their first crush

S/o saying they like another member that isn’t them

S/o having a wet dream about them

S/o being self conscious/insecure about their body

Idol!s/o dancing to a sexual/sensual song

S/o getting anxiety attacks

S/o gifting them a riding crop

Seungwoo’s s/o being obsessed with his Busan satoori

S/o saying the safe word during sex

S/o licking ice cream and aking them horny

S/o calling them “daddy” for the first time

S/o challenging them to a NNN quarantine version

S/o sleeping with a plushie

Tiny s/o always protecting/shielding them

Innocent s/o listening explicit lyrics

Most To Least:

Date someone younger

Date someone older

Be in an open relationship

Be a fuckboy

Be a camboy

Have a breeding kink

Be into choking their s/o

Act giddy when seeing s/o wearing their clothes

Like a shorter/tiny s/o

Cheat in a relationship

Have an age play kink

Be into DD/LG dynamics

Have a chubby s/o

Be into roleplay

Date a fan

Get s/o to squirt

Have sex early in the relationship

Be a sugar daddy

Tease you in public

Spoil their s/o

Get jealous easily

Stubborn to apologize after an argument

Be clingy with their partner

Put things in high places to annoy short s/o

Being vocal during sex

Have a corruption kink

Be into cockwarming

Try BDSM

Be into using rope

Cry watching their s/o walk down the aisle at their wedding

Giving/receiving head

Date a foreigner

Have a sex tape with their s/o

Have their s/o ride them

Big-small dick LMAO

Date a korean-american

Date a tall s/o

Be into primal play

Be good at dirty talking

Date another member’s sister

Like s/o in creepyyeha kind of lingerie

Say “I love you” first

Astro Thingies:

What are their risings

Dom/Switch/Sub according to Astrology

Ideal types based on their moon + venus signs

Guilty pleasures/hidden fantasies based on their Lilith Signs

Random Thingies:

What kink each member has [S]

Sorting them into Hogwarts Houses

Boob guys vs. Butt guys

What kind of dates they would like

Favorite positions

Last Updated: April 2nd, 2020

#x1 reactions #reactions #x1 mtl #han seungwoo #han seungwoo scenario #cho seungyoun #cho seungyoun scenario #kim wooseok #kim wooseok scenario #kim yohan #kim yohan scenario #lee hangyul #lee hangyul scenario #x1 scenario #x1

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donggyul · 5 years ago

Text

HoneyMoon

Member : 이한결 Lee Hangyul

Genre : Smut

Note : Not a request!

Warning : Dirty and swear words!

You and Hangyul finally arrived at the hotel. You were exhausted from travelling all day. You laid down on the bed and Hangyul crawled on top of you.

"Yah... Are we not gonna do anything?" he ask.

"I'm tired... Let's just sleep..." you said.

"It's our first night together..." he whined.

"So what you wanna do?" you ask.

"You know... That typical stuff that married couple do..." he said.

"They do alot of stuffs together... Be exact... What do you mean?" you said.

"It's our honeymoon after all..." he said.

"So?" you ask.

"So-" he said and pecked your lips before connecting your lips together again.

Your hands hugging his neck, bringing him closer to you. The kiss was soft, like how he would always kiss you.

"Do I have your permission?" he ask letting go of the kiss.

"Have you done it before?" you ask.

"Nope..." he said.

"Then how would you know what to do?" you ask, hands still hugging his neck.

"Seungyoun taught me how to do it" he said.

You look at him in disgust and immediately dropped your hands.

"I'm just kidding..." he said laughing.

"Who knows if it's a joke or not..." you said and he kissed you again.

His hands travel down to the nip of your shirt pulling it out, leaving you in your bra. He took off his shirt too, leaving you amazed with his abs.

"Why? It's not like you've never seen it before" he said.

"Matter of fact I've never seen it before... I've only seen pictures of it.." you said.

"Same thing...." he said.

"If that's the same thing then the whole world have seen it..." you said.

"Even if the whole world has seen it, you're the first to touch it..." he said holding your finger and drawing it on his abs.

"All that work out paid off huh" you said.

"It sure did..." he said and kissed you again.

His hands travel to your bra and unclip it. He took it off and started massaging softly before going down to pull your shorts down, leaving you with the last piece of clothes that you have.

You pulled his pants down too, ashamed of being naked yourself. His finger travelled up your thighs up to you clit, rubbing it softly.

He pulled off your panties, leaving you fully naked. He inserted his finger into your clit and started thrusting slowly making you whinced a bit. It was a feeling you've never felt before and it hurts. But after awhile it felt good.

He inserted another finger and curled it making you moan. It was pleasure mixed with pain. You cummed easily on his fingers. He pulled his fingers out and took off his boxers revealing his huge dick.

You quickly look away embarrassed.

"Don't be embarrassed babe... This is all yours..." he said.

He didn't waste a second and inserted himself into you making you whinced because of the pain. You were literally so close to screaming.

He started thrusting slowly to let you adjust to his size. Once he saw your relaxed expression, he started thrusting faster making you half scream, hugging his body tight to yours.

After a few more thrust, the both of you cummed on each other and he took himself out of you, lying down next to you, out of breath.

"Did you like that?" he ask putting his hand under you head.

"It was not bad for a 1st try..." you said.

"But... Was it always like this?" you ask.

"What is?" he ask.

"It feels painful but I feel so sleepy..." you said.

"How would I know that..." he said.

"Since my baby is sleepy.. Should we sleep now?" he ask and you nodded.

He cleaned you up and put you in his hoddie.

"I have my own clothes you know..." you said.

"My hoddie's better..." he said and you can't agree less.

"Good Night..." he said kissing your forehead and you fell into a deep sleep.

#hangyul #이한결 #x1 smut #x1 scenarios #x1 imagines #x1 #엑스원 #seungwoo #cho seungyoun #wooseok #kim yohan #한승우 #조승연 #김우석 #김요한

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bbyhjuns · 5 years ago

Text

X1's reaction to you crying

Request: Hey there! I really like your posts they’re really cool (esp the everyday bf things one its so cute uwu) so I wanna request for you to write a x1 scenario to you crying 😢 cos I rly need some angst oof thank you so much! good luck with your other works! 😻

A/N: i really love writing reactions!!! it gives me more space to explore different scenarios and fit them according to the members' different personalities. hope yall would enjoy this one!

------

Seungwoo:

Truth to be told, you hate showing your weak side; to anyone, even to your boyfriend. Which was why when you had a sudden breakdown in the middle of the night, you tried to stifle your cries as much as you could. Yet Seungwoo's sharp hearing noticed something was wrong as he immediately got up from the bed and headed to the bathroom, knocking on the door intensely with a concerned tone, "Babe, you alright? I'm here to help"

It took quite some time for you to let him in, and as soon as you did he immediately fell to your side, his arms encircling your waist as he pushed your head to his shoulder, hands giving you small but steady pats. He'd remind you everything is alright, and would also try to get you to speak your mind out. Overall he'd be extremely comforting and loving (like he always is).

Seungyoun:

He was minding his own business when he heard your sniffles from inside the room. Confused but still concerned, he'd enter the room immediately, asking you if everything's alright. Yet he couldn't help but end up chuckling instead: at the sight of you huddled up in your blanket with your laptop sitting on your lap, sniffling and crying over the movie you were watching.

After seeing your pouty face he'd try to control his laughter, and fall into bed with you to cuddle you up, cooing "You're such a big baby.... and i love it". Prepared to be teased about this incident a lot though, he probably wont let it go easily.

Wooseok:

Noticing how you'd been a bit on the gloomy side for the past few days, he had sat you down and try to get you to talk it out, "If there's anything on your mind, tell me. I'm willing to listen.". Those words caused you to break down into tears immediately, as all the emotions you've been storing in the past few days came spilling out.

While holding and caressing the back of your hand, he'd listen attentively to all your worries, nodding from time to time. He'd mostly use physical touch (touching your hands, thighs, face) to comfort and calm you down. He'd always try to give as much as advice as possible, trying his best to assure you that everything would be alright in the end.

Yohan:

It'd take him a while to process everything: your endless sobbing and shortness of breath. The sight of you falling apart in front of him broke him, and internally he blamed himself for not being to help you. But externally he'd try to remain calm, his hands never leaving yours as he squeezes them tightly.

Be prepared for lots of hugs and kisses. I feel like he wouldn't say much, probably because he isn't too sure whether you'd want to talk about it, and because he believes that letting you cry all of it out before talking seems to be the best way. Nonetheless he'd still be as loving and caring as always.

Hangyul:

He had immediately rushed down to your house after your call, despite it being late in the middle of the night. He came prepared though, with your favourite drink and a pair of his sweaters (since he knows it's something that comforts you). With worry he'd engulf you in his arms with a tight hug, hands circling around your back.

Unlike his usual goofy self, he'd be serious and extremely caring, making sure that you're alright. He'd also be willing to stay with the whole of the night (and probably also the whole of the next day) because he wants to make sure you're completely okay before he leaves.

Junho:

As someone who always hides his emotions, he, out of everyone else, understands how you feel the most. And knowing you for long, he instinctively knows when you're feeling down or just need a good cry out. On days like these he'd be a little more goofy, always trying to lift up your mood.

He'd surprisingly be very calm when you start crying, with him staying by your side quietly and comforting you. He'd also be much more softer towards you, be it his tone of voice or the way he expresses himself.

Dongpyo:

With him around by your side, your days are hardly dull or gloomy. But of course, emotions can sometimes get the better of you and the next thing you know, you're balling your eyes out. I can see Dongpyo being extremely cuddly and affectionate on these days, be it always hugging you and giving you small pecks. He'd still be his usual bubbly self, trying to cheer you up.

Be prepared for him to take you on small little dates too, especially to your favourite places, all in hopes that you'd feel a tiny bit better.

Minhee:

He has always been a great listener: always listening attentively and giving you valuable advice. Like Junho, he'd be very calm if you were to start crying, making sure that he's there to help you if you need any, and to remind you that everything is alright.

As compared to his usual self, he'd be a little more touchy and affectionate, keeping you in his arms and often, patting your head.

Eunsang:

I feel like he'd be a mix between Wooseok and Yohan. As soon as he notices that you're not your usual self, he'd try to comfort you and ask you if everything is alright, trying to get you to speak. But when you start crying it'd send him into a slight panic mood at first as he'd be unsure of what to do.

But over time he'd continue giving you a comforting smile, getting you tissues or your favourite snacks; anything you need to make you feel better.

Hyeongjun:

Being the soft and understanding person he is, seeing you cry would most likely also bring tears to his own eyes. But of course, he'd try to control them as his main priority would be to comfort and cheer you up. He wouldn't say much, but instead will hold your hand or body tightly and repeat "It'll be alright".

He wouldn't force you to share your worries if you weren't comfortable, but would also remind you that anytime you're ready, he'd be willing to help anytime.

Dohyon:

Unfamiliar with these types of situations, it took him by surprise when he saw a tear falling from your eyes. He'd be in a slight panic mood, probably handing you tissues immediately and (awkwardly) patting your back. It'd probably also be silent between the both of you, with him thinking of what he can do to help.

"You wanna talk about it?" he'd try to ask you, and if he could, he'd also give you a few advice here and there. If not, he'd just try his best to comfort you by staying by your side.

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prodtxt · 5 years ago

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It’s 5am and I can’t sleep bc there is a cockroach in my room so I just did this bad compilation of Hangyul acting like a crazy person with the wii channel music on the background, enjoy.

#IM SO SORRY JSJSJSJ I KNOW THIS IS BAD #Im just very bored and I miss tumblr a lot #x1 #x1 hangyul #Lee Hangyul #x1 edits #x1 flash #Han Seungwoo #Cho Seungyoun #Kim Wooseok #Kim Yohan #Cha Junho #Son Dongpyo #Kang Minhee #Lee Eunsang #Song Hyeongjun #Nam Dohyon #x1 imagines #x1 scenarios

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junquisite · 4 years ago

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Fated to love 2

PAIRING : Park Junhee X OC X Kim Wooseok

GENRE : Fluff, Angst

WORD COUNT : 2.9k

PARTS : I+P 1 2

AUTHOR’S NOTE : From now on italics mean that its real but from a past moment, so memories are in italics, regular font means present.

Seungyoun joined Wooseok at the cafe he invited him to and wooseok scowled at the first words that left his friend’s mouth.

“So what did you fucked up now?”

“I did no such thing.” Wooseok gritted out as he passed Seungyoun’s usual order towards him - Latte and a pastry while he sipped on his ice americano. He vaguely noticed how similar Seungyoun and Bora’s tastes are but then the both of them used to love going to different restaurants and cafes together so.

“You only specifically call me for breakfast when you do something. And Bora has returned from swiss 2 weeks ago. Thats too long for you to not fuck up.” Seungyoun concluded as he happily smiled at his visibly pissed friend.

Wooseok sighed and told Seugnyoun everything - from the party to the dinner he crashed. Seungyoun stared at him for far too long he was comfortable with so he fidgeted with his phone.

“I don't know if you intentionally do this but why do you act like an asshole to her when you love her?”

Wooseok sputtered a loose explanation about how it was not his fault but Seungyoun knew it was just his jealousy acting up - which knowing Wooseok, he would never accept. Seungoyun also pointedly noted how he didn't deny the part that he was in love with her and that was interesting.

“Apologise to her Wooseok. You were too much.” Seungyoun finally said and Wooseok nodded - already planning on how to apologise to her.

“I am so sorry i had to call you both in so late! I wanted to meet for lunch but I had an important meeting, but thank you for making time to meet me at this time!” Junhee saw as she trailed off when she looked up and only saw him.

“Where is Donghun?” she asked and he nodded outside.

“He had an important call, he’ll be in soon.” he said and she nodded and got back up from the crouching position she was in before with her back towards him which led to her rambling as she had done.

There was an awkward silence in the office as she fumbled with the papers and he kept staring at her.

“Did Donghun say anything after you left?” she asked finally and he nodded in a negative.

“Why?”

“He's too smart to not figure out that we have known each other longer than meeting yesterday for the first time.” she remarked and Junhee shrugged.

“He figured you were the girl I met at switzerland. He wanted to know if I was uncomfortable working with you and wanted to cancel the collaboration.” he said and saw as her eyes widened, she really wanted this to happen.

“Oh..do you want to? Cancel it?” she asked softly and he wanted to go close to her, comfort her and promise her to even bring the stars if she asked for, this collaboration was nothing.

“No. we’ll move forward with it.”

She nodded and the room fell in silence again.

He saw her hesitate and sigh. “Why..did he think you would be uncomfortable with working with me?” she asked and he mentally debated if he should tell how he was when he got back. Finally he decided to come clean, she should know that he's here, and now in front of her.

“When i got back.. It was hard to concentrate on work - i could only think of you. A girl i met in switzerland whom i knew nothing about more than that she lived in seoul and was returning a week after me. So the sunday you were supposed to come back, a day before i checked all the flights coming to seoul from swiss, even checked the ones who’ll have pit stops. There were 7 in total and I was ready to spend the whole day at the airport just to see you again. He stopped me.

He said something which made me listen to him and not come.”

He saw that she was staring at him wide-eyed, hanging on his every word.

“He said i left my contact number to her and she still hasn't texted me for the whole week. That i was just a vacation fling for her and meant nothing more then that and that i need to stop being dumb.” he finished.

He saw her flinch as he was talking but that was exactly what Donghun had told him. And she needed to know it too.

“I'm sorry I was late, should we get started?” Donghun asked as he came in and the gloomy mood of the room slightly lifted as Bora gave him a strained smile. If Donghun noticed it, he didn't comment on it.

“I ordered us Sandwiches. I hope you both will like it.'' She said as she passed both of them Subway bags and Junhee took his, only to look inside and find a chocochip cookie which was missing from Donghun’s as he saw him emptying the content on the table.

He looked across at her to see she was avoiding his eyes.

“It's 3 am.” she said incredulously staring at him.

“You don't know the fun of eating Subway sandwiches at 3 am.” as he wrapped a scarf around her and pulled her outside her room. Junhee pulled a whiney Bora to the subway 5 minutes away from her Hotel and went to order 2 chicken sandwiches and ice tea.

“Cookie?” he asked her and she said no.

He came back with one chocochip cookie though.

“I love these. I sometimes feel like Subway chocochip cookies are the best ever in the world.” he said as he took a big bite of it and moaned in pleasure. She slapped his arm in between her laughs.

Junhee took a bite of his cookie. She remembered it seemed. Now was it a good sign actually or not, he wondered.

Bora was tired and only craving her bed by the time she reached home. So she was not expecting any guest - and especially not Kim Wooseok. So when she saw him, a sigh involuntarily slipped through her mouth.

“What are you doing here?” she asked.

“I brought dinner.” he said as he showed her the bag he was holding. It was the restaurant she loved but it only took advance bookings and she was sure this was an impromptu visit so it meant he paid whoever had the chance to bring her food. She vaguely wondered how much he paid the person.

“How long have you been here?” she asked as she realised it was almost midnight - way past dinner time.

“A while.” he muttered and she sighed. It meant hours.

“Why didn't you wait inside? The code is the same as we set when we bought this.” she muttered as she walked past him to open the door and wave him inside.

“I didn't want to intrude.” he answered and she scoffed, turning around to stare at him.

“Why are you actually here Wooseok?” she asked and he looked away, clearly avoiding her eyes. She saw as his ear reddened and she raised an eyebrow.

“I wanted to apologise.. For the party and yesterday dinner too.” he muttered while looking down at the floor and she ran a hand through her hair. Her face softened.

“I have had dinner already.” she settled on as he looked up at her and nodded, slightly looking like a kicked puppy. “I’ll get going then. Goodnight.” he told her as he turned to leave.

“Wooseok..” she called his name and he turned around. He looked young but tired, like how they used to be when they used to have their finals and would spend nights living on energy drinks and coffees - no matter how cold their relationship had turned now and how much she hated his guts now- he was still her best friend that she has known since kindergarten.

“Stay.. i’ll sit with you while you eat. And you can sleep in the guest room.”

Bora woke up to the smell of fresh eggs and toast and coffee and if you ask her, that probably is what heavens smell like to her. She freshened up and then dragged herself to her kitchen to see Wooseok cooking her breakfast.

“Did you knew you had nothing in your refrigerator except for alcohol?” he asked her and she shrugged.

“I'm pretty sure there was coffee somewhere here.” she said vaguely pointing to her kitchen and he shook his head at her.

“I had to go out for grocery shopping to make you breakfast.” he said as he served her and she thanked him.

“Take whatever food is left to your house though, it’ll go bad here.” she said as Woosoek joined her in eating.

“Shouldn't you learn how to cook about now?” he asked her and she shrugged.

“I usually grab breakfast either at the office or the coffee shop in front of it. Or at the main house if i'm summoned. Plus there’s no one around to teach me to cook.'' She spoke the last part lowly and Wooseok felt his heart clench.

“You can always ask my mom, she would love to teach you.”

As soon as the words slipped his mouth, her head shot up to stare at him as if he grew out another head.

“She hates me Wooseok.” she said with such a painfully straight face that it made even him laugh.

Breakfast ended and she helped him with the dishes.

“I’ll get going now. I have to go home and get dressed too.” he said and she nodded as she walked him to the door.

“Bora..” he trailed off and she smiled at him and for a second he felt like they were back in highschool where she would happily follow him around, laughing with him and making him feel like he was at the top of the world.

“Seungyoun said everyone was meeting for meat and drinks today. You wanna join?”

She looked to be thinking, probably thinking of her schedule.

“Sure. i'm in. i haven't seen him and the guys in a long while too!” she agreed and he smiled. He was already imagining telling a cocky Seungyoun that not only he apologised but she also agreed for the night out - he couldn't wait to see the look on his best friend's face.

“And Wooseok..” her voice brought him out of his thoughts. “Next time you wanna grab dinner, tell me. If not a day before then at least an hour before. I'll clear my schedule for you.” she said with a smile and his heart skipped a beat. This was the Bora he fell in love with all those years ago.

She entered the Barbeque place and the smell hanging in the air reminded her of Highschool and University - when times were better she thought. Once inside, she made her way to the table with the loudest voices and found her friends- Wooseok and Seungwoo were the only silent and smiling ones at the table - the other three were the creators of the noise - Hangyul, Yohan and Seungyoun who all looked halfway drunk. She was only half an hour late from the decided time though.

She took a seat between Seungwoo and Wooseok as Seungyoun passed her a glass of beer.

“I literally just got here.”

“And you have to compensate for the half hour you’re late for.” Seungyoun cheekily said as he passed her a shot of Soju which she happily took. Seungwoo passed her a plate of snacks and she thanked him softly.

An hour passed with drinks and talks and taunts to Bora for not meeting the others more. But it was all good and Wooseok was slightly tipsy and Seungyoun was trying to sober him surprisingly. It was just that Seungyoun had a good alcohol tolerance and Wooseok did not. And drunk Wooseok is clingy as the hand wrapped around her waist and head leaning on her shoulder was reminding her. It was vaguely reminding her of how close they used to be before and suddenly the alcohol in her system felt too much and the restaurant felt suffocating.

She suddenly stood up, Wooseok almost falling on the seat as he was leaning on her and she asked Seungwoo to move, mumbling about needing fresh air. She really needed some.

She was standing outside as the cold air blew and saw the time. A little over 11 pm, none of them will even consider going home before 1 and she sighed. She tugged out her pack of cigarettes and a lighter as she lit one. She wasn't an avid smoker - only smoking occasionally when stressed and the friendly dinner with old friends was leading into dangerous territories - from highschool memories to her and Wooseok almost dating to their sudden engagement. It was frustrating since she knew the reason behind all his attention on her now - he wanted to marry her.

“Fancy seeing you here.” she heard someone speak behind her and turned around to see a smiling Junhee coming to stand beside her. She wanted to scowl at his smiling face but also apologise for never texting him again. She hadn't been able to sleep much last night because she kept thinking about what Junhee had said.

“I didn't know you smoke.” he commented as she took a drag of it and let the smoke out.

“I don't usually. But a tough day makes me want to take one.” she said as she took another drag and Junhee turned around to leave.

“Wait, where are you going?” she asked as he looked behind at her, face unreadable.

“I can't stand the smoke.” he said as he turned and started walking towards the alleyway beside the restaurant. She looked at the cigarette in her hand. Cursing lowly, she threw it on the ground and stomped it with her heels as she walked after him.

“Wait for me!”

After making sure Wooseok was sober enough to not fall, Seungyoun got up to follow behind Bora. He had felt her getting uncomfortable by minute as they kept talking about her and Wooseok and he wanted to make sure she was fine. And also maybe not to be so disgusted by the fact that she was engaged to Wooseok now.

He walked out to see a man standing beside her and paused a little behind, making sure to hide himself but also hear what they were talking about.

“I didn't know you smoke.” the man commented and Seungyoun was surprised that he actually knew her.

“I don't usually. But a tough day makes me want to take one.” he felt guilty when she said that. Was she that uncomfortable with the idea of marrying Wooseok? Isn't she the same person who would blush whenever Wooseok said anything directly to her and literally told him in the morning that she would clear any schedule for him?

“Wait, where are you going?” he heard say and looked up to see the man turning to walk towards the side alleyway.

“I can't stand the smoke.” he said simply and Seungyoun sighed. It brought back memories of the many times anyone had ever told her to not smoke.

It started during University. A huge fight between Wooseok and her that no one ever found the reason for and she went out alone at night. Seungyoun had found himself opening the door of his apartment to a drunk Bora at 4 in the morning smelling strongly of alcohol and smoke.

Since then, she had smoked on multiple occasions followed by someone telling her not to and her retoriting with something.

“You should not smoke.” Seungwoo had told her and she had just shrugged in response, choosing to not smoke in his presence out of respect but not listening.

“The smoke bothers me.” Wooseok had complained once. With a cigarette between her lips, she walked to the door of the apartment and opened it for him saying, “feel free to leave.”

“Smoking kills you eventually.” Aerin had said.

“So does life at one point.” Bora had retorted.

“Can you stop smoking?” he had followed after Aerin who was snuggled in his arms.

“Shut up.” was the crude response he got as she laughed and he joined, taking the cigarette from her hand to take a drag himself.

So maybe he was not the best person but she also has never listened. So when Seungyoun saw her throwing the cigarette down and running after the guy, something dropped in his stomach.

He went back in and joined the others.

“Where is she?” Wooseok asked and Seungyoun shrugged.

“Did not see her. Maybe she went in the side alley to smoke.” he said, not willing to put doubts in the head of a drunk Wooseok. But sober Wooseok has to know. She came about 20 minutes after Seungyoun had come back and the smile and the slight flush of her cheeks were bothering him a bit too much. So he decided he’ll give him some sort of warning at least.

That's Why Wooseok woke up the next day with a killer headache and a text awaiting on his phone from Seungyoun saying, ‘You should have a serious talk with Bora about the engagement.’

#A.C.E #X1 #Kim Wooseok #park junhee #a.c.e smut #x1 smut #up10tion #a.c.e scenarios #a.c.e imagines #a.c.e jun #kim wooseok smut #ACEWRITERS

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