#kim shin scenario

[katyleen]

Shinyu x Reader

{School Au}

Synopsis: You, an average student suddenly bumped into one of the most popular boy in the school.

Warning: A few curse words, fluff??

——————————————————————————

‘Damn it where’s my notebook?’ You thought to yourself as you’re rummaging your locker. You’re just an average student, with small circle of friends and average scores, not involved in any of the school drama. You’d like think that you’re living a peaceful life in school….besides the assignments and studies that the teacher gives you. It’s their job though so you can’t really blame them.

Finally after looking at your locker for a while, you finally found your notebook. You grabbed it and closed your locker, immediately walking away to go to your class. You didn’t expect to bumped into something after stepping away from the locker though, which results with you accidentally dropping your book. You looked up to see that you didn’t bump into something but someone. And you certainly didn’t expect to be face-to-face with the most popular boy in the whole school, Shinyu.

“Ah..sorry, I didn’t see you there.” You apologized, slightly bowing to him and then going to reach for your book on the floor but he beats you to it. He bended down and grabbed the book, lightly patted your book to remove the dust.

“I’m sorry too, I shouldn’t have stood that close to you.” He replied sheepishly, holding the book out for you. You take the book from his hands and look at his face. You never really paid attention to a lot of people that’s not close with you, but you didn’t expect that this school has such a handsome boy wandering around.

‘Holy shit I’ve been blessed to see such a pretty face.’ You thought to yourself, snapping out of it when you notice him tilting his head at you.

“Oh uh it’s fine. So…I’m just gonna go now…bye.” You nervously said, walking away from him after waving him goodbye. You almost missed it, but you noticed him waving back at you as you keep walking further away from him.

*****

“YOU BUMPED INTO WHO?” Your friend yelled, making you kicked her leg lightly and shushed her.

“Keep it down will you?! I didn’t even realize that he was there. It’s not like I bumped into him on purpose.” You explained yourself. Your friend laughed and calmed down.

“But seriously, that’s so unexpected. What are the chances that you’d bump into him of all people? If you ask me I think this is fate.” She said. You raised an eyebrow, not understanding wha she’s trying to say. “Aish, I mean he could be your potential boyfriend.”

Your eyes widen, face heating up as you try to deny her statement. “What are you talking about? Many people bump into someone, are you saying that they’ll end up together?” She laughed again, clearly enjoying teasing you.

“I’m kidding. Sigh I really want that to happen to me too y’know? I want to bump into handsome people too. Maybe someone like Youngjae? He seems so mature and charming.” F/n sighed dreamily. You can’t help but rolled your eyes at your friend while laughing.

Youngjae is also from the same group as Shinyu. Their group consist of six people, Shinyu as the reliable one, Dohoon as the playful one, Youngjae as the responsible one, Hanjin known as the nicest boy, Jihoon being the social butterfly of the group, and Kyungmin who is very energetic.

“Ok stop daydreaming now, the teacher is here already.” You snapped her out of her daydream as the teacher walk inside the classroom to start the lesson.

*****

“Finally it’s break time. I’m starving.” F/n said, stretching her arms.

“Yeah let’s hurry before the line gets too long.” You then run to the canteen and buy lunch. You walk toward an empty table and start eating while talking to each other. All of a sudden, everyone around starts to look at the same direction and whispering to each other. You and F/n also got curious and try to look at what everyone is looking at.

There you can see Shinyu and his friends walking to the canteen. Their effects are no joke, even their mere presence can make people stop and admire them. Your friend shot you a teasing look, with you just shaking your head and continue eating. You heard footsteps coming towards your direction but you shrug it off, thinking someone is just passing by, until you hear someone clear their throat.

“Ahem…excuse me. There’s no empty table left so can we sit with you guys?” Someone asked. You and your friend look at the newcomers, suprised to see Shinyu and the others in front of you. F/n stutters for a bit before she managed to say yes. Now, you’re sitting between Shinyu and Hanjin with F/n in front of you between Youngjae and Jihoon. Kyungmin sits next to Shinyu while Dohoon sits next to Youngjae.

“Thank you for letting us sit here. Otherwise, we might have to sit on the floor instead. Jihoon joked, looking at you and F/n. You laughed, saying it’s no problem. As you guys eat, you can’t help but notice how Shinyu sometimes looks at you. You hope it’s not because of earlier.

“Hey aren’t you the girl from earlier?”

Well shit.

“Wait this is the girl that bumped into you earlier? Waahh hyung no wonder you can’t stop talking about h-“ Shinyu immediately covers Kyungmin’s mouth, desperately trying to keep him from continuing his line. Luckily you didn’t quite catch what he just said, but your friend sure did, giving you a mischievous look.

“Don’t listen to what he’s saying. Anyways I’m sorry again for earlier.” He said, seemingly still thinking about what happened. You shake your head while giving him a reassuring smile.

“It’s fine. It was just an accident, I also wasn’t looking where I was going.” You said. “And here I was thinking you’d forget about it by now.” You joked. He hides his face from you, maybe still embarrassed about it? You’re not sure.

“Hahaha hyung, your ears are red. Relax, it happens to anyone don’t let it bother you that much.” Dohoon said. They then eat and make a joke every now and then, and they sometimes include you and F/n too. It seems that they are already comfortable with you guys.

Youngjae, as responsible as ever, looks at his phone and reminded you all, “It’s almost time for the next class. We need to go now if we don’t want to be late.” You all cleaned the table and about to go to your separate ways to your own classroom. Unfortunately, F/n suddenly feels sick and has to go to the infirmary. You offered to accompany her but she insisted that she can go alone. Youngjae offered to go to the infirmary with her although she refused at first, he also insisted and ended up going together.

Shinyu walked up to you hesitantly, looking anywhere but you. “Uh…do you want me to walk you to your class? You know, since your friend seems to be sick and won’t be able to come to class with you.” He offered. You wanted to refused at first, really don’t want to bother him, but Hanjin suddenly popped out.

“Just let him walk you to class, otherwise he’s going to be sulking for the rest of the day.” Shinyu turned to Hanjin and playfully hit him. You can’t help but find the situation cute. You decided to take his offer and now you’re walking together to your class. It was a little awkward because none of you were talking so you were about to open a conversation when he once again beats you to it.

“I just realized that I never got your name. May I know your name please?” He asked. You looked at him, realizing that you know him but he obviously doesn’t know you since you’re not as well known as him.

“Oh my name is Y/n.” You introduced yourself. He nodded and proceeds to ask more questions about you, with you answering and also asking something about him in return. It doesn’t take long for you guys to reach your classroom. You turned to him to let him know that this is your class.

“Alright, I’ll see you around then.” He started to walk away but stopped abruptly. You looked at him confused when he turned to you again. He walked up to you again and he looks nervous.

“Um…Can I…can I have your number? It’s fine if you don’t because we technically just got to know each other today and-“ before he can continue to ramble you held out your hand to him. He looks at your hand and then at you in confusion until it clicked and he hurriedly went to grab his phone from his pocket. He gave you his phone and you put your number in his contacts. You returned his phone to him and he looks at his screen.

“Thank you. I’ll add you to our group chat later. Oh and you can give me your friend’s phone number too so I can also add her to the group chat. Anyways I think I should go now. I’ll see you later, bye.” He then ran off to his class.

*****

You look at F/n worriedly.

“Are you sure you’re ok now?” You asked, wanted to make sure she’s really ok.

“Yes I’m fine now. But you know I actually feel thankful that I felt sick because I get to walk with Youngjae together. Oh and he stayed in the infirmary until he absolutely sure I’ll be fine, isn’t that sweet?” She gushed, clearly not over her little interaction with Youngjae. Though you can’t blame her, anyone who’s in the same shoes as her would feel flustered at least.

A ‘ding’ comes from your phone. You checked to see that someone added to you a group chat.

???

Hyung who did you add just now?

???

It’s Y/n

???

Was that the girl that you walked to her classroom?

???

Yeah that’s her

You

Is this Shinyu’s group chat??

???

Yepp

Helloo I’m Kyungmin

???

This is Youngjae

???

Hanjin here

???

I’m Jihoon!!

???

And I’m Shinyu

Wait where’s Dohoon?

???

Sorry, I was still talking with someone

Wait let me scroll up for a sec

“Oh right F/n do you mind if I give your number to-“. you were cut off by another ‘ding’ to find that Youngjae added her to the group chat.

“Waahh he actually added me. Why are you looking at me like that?” She asked you.

“You also gave your number to him?” You asked. F/n laughed sheepishly as she nodded.

“But hey you also gave Shinyu your number too right? I’m not the only one.” She said. You looked back at your screen, reading the chats after adding all of their numbers.

Dohoon

Alright I’m done reading

Y/n and F/n, welcome to our group chat

Hanjin

Warning, we’re very active in this group chat

Kyungmin

But at least we’re fun :D

You

Lol it’s fine

Me and F/n always text each other too

F/n

I can vouch for that

Jihoon

Nicee

Anyways guys, can anyone help me with my homework?

Hanjin

We have homework?

Kyungmin

If it’s math I can help😊

But you have to treat me lunch in exchange😏

Youngjae

Our maknae is actually bargaining

He’s growing up so fast

Dohoon

Ikr🥲

Kyungmin

What

Jihoon

Deal!!

Just help me please🥺

Hanjin

I also need help!!

Let’s do it together

“Wow they’re actually really fun.” F/n said. You can’t help but agree with her. After texting with the boys and laughing at some of their responses, you and F/n grabbed your bags and leave the classroom as school is over already. F/n left first since she needed to go somewhere after school with her family while you need to put your stuff in your locker first. You were just done putting away your stuff when someone tapped your shoulder. You looked to see Shinyu, who is now smiling at you shyly.

“Hi, is your friend not with you?” He asked, looking around to see if he can spot F/n.

“No she left already. I needed to put my stuff in the locker first before leaving.” You answered him, closing the locker.

“I see…um…” he tries to say something but seems hesitant. You wait patiently for him, wondering what he wants to talk about. After taking a deep breath, he looks at you again with a slightly red face.

“Can I walk you home?”

You blinked, processing what he just said. After it clicked, you replied, “Huh? I mean I don’t want to bother you. You must be tired after school so-“

He cuts you off, “It’s fine. I’m fine with it, I don’t mind. I want to walk you home, you’re not bothering me. You know, I’ll be worried if you’re walking home alone. But you don’t have to say yes-I’m not forcing you to let me walk you home. I understand-“ this time you’re the one who cut him off.

“Haha alright. You can walk me home, thank you.” You accepted his request. He seems giddy, though he tries to hide it by suppressing his smile.

While you’re on the way to your house, you noticed how he subtly moved you to the safer side of the road and slowed down his steps to match yours. This makes you feel warm, appreciating his efforts to make you comfortable. As you walk, you continued your conversation from earlier and get to know each other better. For example, you now know that he has siblings and he’s the youngest, his hobby is drawing, etc. Eventually you reach your house, not even aware that you’ve walked so far already.

“This is my house. Thank you for walking me home Shinyu.” You thanked him again. “Be sure to text me once you’re home ok? Be safe.”

“I will. I’ll get going then. See you tomorrow Y/n.” He said, giving you a little wave before walking to his house. You waited a little bit until you can’t see him anymore before going inside your house. When you stepped inside, you find your mother looking at you with a teasing smile.

“So…who’s the boy?” She asked. You give her a deadpanned look.

“What? I can tell that he’s a nice boy, not to mention cute too. Is he your boyfriend?”

“Mom. Please don’t start with this.” You whined.

After you take a shower and changed into a more comfortable clothes, you noticed a notification popped out on your screen. You checked to see it’s from Shinyu, texting you that he’s home already. You smiled, texting him back and told him to rest. You texted each other for a long time until it’s time for you to sleep.

You

I have to sleep soon

Shinyu

Alright, it’s getting late anyways

Don’t stay up too late and get enough sleep

You don’t want to be sleepy for school tomorrow

You

Yes sir🫡

I’ll be off then

Goodnight Shinyu :)

Shinyu

Goodnight :)

Sleep well

You giggled, looking back at his texts. You really enjoy talking with Shinyu. Even though you only started talking to him today, you already feel comfortable around him.

*****

Ever since that day, you always talk to Shinyu and the others. You and F/n often secure seats at your table for them to join you guys in the canteen. You feel like you’re getting closer to them day by day and start to hang out with them even outside of school. Just a week ago, you and F/n were invited to go to the arcade by the boys. You played many games and be competitive with them, constantly challenging each other. It was really fun, but that day you have a certain moment that keeps replaying in your head.

*flashback*

You were waiting for F/n and Dohoon to finish their match in a basketball game when your eyes caught sight of a cute keychain in a claw machine.

“Do you want the keychain?” A voice suddenly said, startling you. Shinyu was beside you, looking at you and the keychain.

“Well it’s cute, but I’m not good at claw machines. Besides, usually these kind of games are rigged right?” You said. He hummed, and then proceeds to enter a coin to the machine.

“Wha-you don’t have to-“ you stopped whatever you wanted to say as you watch him play and successfully grabbed the keychain with the claw. It dropped the keychain to the hole and he grabs it, giving it to you.

“This is the one that you wanted right?” He asked, worried that he got the wrong one. It doesn’t really matter to him, he can just play it again until he gets what you wanted. You look at him in disbelief before laughing.

“Yeah that’s the one. Thank you for getting this for me.” You thanked him.

“No problem. Oh I think they’re done already. Want to go over there now?”

“HAHA I WIN!”

“WAIT I DEMAND A REMATCH!!”

*flashback ended*

You giggled, feeling your heart flutter at the fond memory. You’ve realized that you have feelings for Shinyu for a while now. You don’t know when you started to like him, maybe it’s when he helped you with your studies in the library with him patiently explaining the lessons to you. Or when he invited you to see them dance as they’re in a dance club and you could see the passion in him when he danced. Or maybe that one time when he asked your opinion about his self written rap. After months of getting to know him, you’ve known him not as a popular boy in school but as a shy but reliable guy who can be really competitive in games, as someone who really enjoys dancing, singing and rapping, and as someone who also has a playful and clumsy side. He’s caring towards those who he feels close to, always making sure they’re ok.

But of course, because he’s popular, many people are jealous of your interactions with him.

*****

You were minding your own business when suddenly someone grabbed your hair and slammed you into the wall. You winced in pain, looking at the girls in front of you.

“You bitch. How dare you hang around Shinyu?” One of them sneered and hit you.

“Who even are you? You’re a nobody, and he’s the most popular boy in this school. Do you really think that you’re worth even be in the same place as him?” Another girl said, laughing at you.

You looked around to see students gathering around, but no one bothers to help you. Either they’re too scared or they also agree with the girls. You screamed in pain when one of them kicked you.

“HEY WE’RE OVER HERE! ARE YOU REALLY THAT STUPID TO UNDERSTAND US?” She yelled.

“Don’t ever come near him again or else-“

“WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?!” A loud voice yelled, making everyone freeze and look towards the source of the voice. You were suprised to see Shinyu, even more so when you noticed how angry he looks right now as he makes his way towards you and the girls.

“S-Shinyu. We were just-“ one of them tried to say something when he cuts her off.

“Do you think I’m blind? Clearly you’re bullying her and for what? For being friends with me? I can decide who I want to be friends with and you can’t change that. Now if you don’t apologize to her right now I’m going to report you to the teachers.” He threatened, glaring at the girls. You have to admit he looks intimidating right now. He then kneels down to you to check for any injuries, glaring at the girls when he hears no apology. They flinched, immediately said sorry and ran away. He then proceeds to give every student who gathers around them a disappointed look.

“You all are no better. Why are you just watching when someone is being hurt? I hope you all are disappointed in yourselves. Shame on you all for allowing this kind of behavior to happen.” They all look guilty as they start to walk away. After that, he gives you his attention again.

“Are you ok? I’m sorry for not being here earlier. Let’s get you to the infirmary.” He said softly, suddenly lifting you up bridal style. You yelped in surprised, arms immediately warped around his neck.

“S-Shinyu-I can walk by my own-“ you tried to get him to put you down but he refused. After arriving at the infirmary, the nurse was nowhere to be seen, so he puts you on the infirmary bed gently and takes it upon himself to help with your injuries.

None of you are saying anything as he treats your wounds until you decided to speak.

“I’m sorry for troubling you. I didn’t expect-“

“Don’t apologize.” He suddenly said. You looked at him. His eyebrows are furrowed and he looks troubled.

“Don’t ever apologize for this. This is not your fault. You don’t need to feel guilty about this.” He takes a deep breath before continuing.

“If anything, I’m sorry for letting this happen to you. I didn’t realize that by being close with you would mean that a lot of people would dislike you to the point of hurting you. If I had known I would’ve-“

“Shinyu.” He stopped himself after hearing you talk.

“You said that this is not my fault, then this is not your fault either. You wouldn’t have known something like this would happen. So what? Does that mean you regret befriending me? Are you regretting the fact that we’ve become so close now?”

“Of course not!” He denied. “I would never regret being friends with you. I would never regret letting myself be close with you. In fact, I’m really thankful for the day you bumped into me.” Now this makes your eyes widen. He then continued, “If it weren’t for that, I wouldn’t have ever met you. I wouldn’t be talking with you, hanging out with you, I wouldn’t-“. he stopped talking, debating whether he should continue or not.

“I wouldn’t be able to fall inlove with you.”

You gasped, clearly didn’t expect him to confess. This whole time you thought he only saw you as a friend but thinking back at it now, there are times where he acts like someone who doesn't just think of you as a friend.

“Shinyu…” you started, hands finding their way to his and hold them.

“I’m also inlove with you.” You confessed. He shots his head up to look at you. A minute has passed, and then two, then he starts blushing to the point where he almost looks like a tomato.

“W-what? Wait..you like me back? I- hang on I need to process this.” He pulled his hands from your hands to hide his face. You laughed at his reaction, trying to pry his hands away from his face.

“Shinyu don’t get shy on me now. You look really cute right now.” His face gets even more red as he tries to say something but failed.

“So…you really like me back?” He asked, finally mustered up the courage to look at you. You give him a smile as you nodded.

“Does that mean…we’re dating then? Are you my girlfriend now? Do you want to be my girlfriend? Can I be your boyfriend?” You hold yourself back from squishing his cheeks.

“Yes I’ll be your girlfriend as long as you’ll be my boyfriend.”

“YES! I’ll be your boyfriend!” He said, grabbing one of your hand and kissed it, making you blush in return.

“Woah weren’t you shy just a few seconds ago? How are you acting so bold now?”

“I mean…I am your boyfriend now right?” He said, smirking at your reaction.

*****

“So…you guys are together now?” F/n asked, looking at you and Shinyu who are holding hands.

“Yeah we’re in a relationship now.” You said. F/n and the rest of the boys gaped at the both of you. After that, they started cheering.

“YEESSS I KNEW THEY WOULD END UP TOGETHER!”

“Y/N YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT WE HAVE TO GO THROUGH! NO OFFENSE WE LIKE YOU AND ALL BUT HE WON’T STOP TALKING ABOUT YOU-“

“HEY WHY ARE YOU BRINGING THAT UP?”

Shinyu went towards the boys and playfully banter with them. Meanwhile, you walk over to F/n.

“So…when are you going to confess to Youngjae?” You asked her.

“Ssshhh. You don’t get to say that after months of pining for each other. How did you not notice how he practically gave you heart eyes?”

You rolled your eyes at her, smacking her shoulder lightly. Shinyu then make his way to you after F/n walks over to the boys to discuss probably more list of him being a simp towards you and hugged you.

“Hmm?? Why the sudden hug?” You asked, returning the hug, not complaining and instead enjoying the warmth he gives off. He then tightens the hug, not wanting to let go.

“Mm, I just really like you.”

——————————————————————————

[slytherinshua]

NOMAD AS ROMANCE TROPES

genre. fluff. angst. headcanons. warnings. toxic friends in doy's part. jiwon's is pretty angsty + alcohol mention. slightly angsty in rivr's?? playful bullying in junho's. junho's was written first so it's slightly different than the rest and i'm too lazy to rewrite it to match so just ignore that. not proofread. pairing. nomad x fem!reader (separate). wc. 3.3k. (600-700 per member). request. no. a/n. been cooking this up for a while and i'm pretty happy with how it game out hehe :D (literally just written for @eternalgyu basically cause who else is reading for nomad). net. @kstrucknet @chrimatanet

HONG DOEUI ﾐ ENEMIES TO LOVERS + CONTRACT RELATIONSHIP

“How much are you going to pay me to pretend to be your boyfriend?” Doeui asked with his arms crossed, teasing you with a lift of his eyebrow. He knew he was in the better position, and he revelled in seeing you embarrassed and having to beg for his help. 

Maybe you shouldn’t have lied saying you were dating a guy for over a year now to your friends. And maybe you should have found some other person to fill in, but the truth was, you didn’t know anyone you could ask other than Doeui. Sure, you hated the fact that he knew almost all your secrets, and there were no fond feelings you kept towards the guy. But he knew your boundaries and respected them, unlike other past ‘friends’. Whatever dirt he had on you, he had enough decency to make sure it never spilled past his lips.

“100,000 won per day. Every time you piss me off, a deduction of 20,000. Okay?”

The corner of his lip jumped up, a self-satisfied smirk taking over his features, “Make it 150,000.”

“Deal.”

God, what had you gotten yourself into?

Although you spent 3 days regretting and dreading your decision, on the first day of the contract, Doeui showed up right on time. Instead of his usual zip-up hoodies and beanies, he had adorned a simple cardigan and jeans. His earrings, rings, and chains were all gone, and even his hair was styled neatly. When you questioned him about it, he just gave you a shrug and a slight smile.

“Thought I could sell the act better if I didn’t look like a jerk.”

“Oh, so you admit that you did before?”

“You hated when I dressed like that, and that’s why I did it.” His eyes stared at you as the words fell from his mouth, and something twisted in your chest at the look he gave you.

Something about hearing that he thought about you enough to know about what would make you pissed and what you liked. As stupid as it sounded, no one had given you that much thought before. Even your friends who you got into this contractional mess for didn’t think about you that much. You knew they weren’t good people to hang around. You knew that deep down, they would drop you in half a second if they got tired of you. But you were scared of losing the only people you had in your life, even if they weren’t truly there for you. You didn’t want to be alone. You didn’t want to feel like an outcast again.  

The meeting with your friends went well. They seemed impressed that you could actually pull someone like Doeui. If they knew you were lying, they would definitely drop you in an instant. It took an uncomfortable amount of convincing for them to believe that he was actually in love with you. Kissing him in front of your friends was awkward. 

Not really the kissing part, but the watching. Something about Doeui’s lips felt right. You wished you didn’t have 5 pairs of watchful eyes on you the entire time. You couldn’t memorize the feeling of his skin when you were so aware of the gazes on you two.

A week went by and the same routine stayed. 150,000 left your bank per day, just as you had promised. Each day, you found yourself trying to delay meeting up with your friends, if only to spend just another few minutes alone with Doeui. It was becoming clearer that something had switched. The man who used to piss you off was the very same one who provided you with any comfort. 

He seemed to catch onto you although you had tried to hide it for a while. And when he asked you to tell him the truth, you found yourself spilling all your feelings without a second thought. Your fears, your doubts, your secrets. He knew them all by the end of it. But unlike your fake friends who would’ve surely laughed in your face, he soothed you with a kiss and promises that you knew held a weight you could rely on.

PARK SANGHA ﾐ CHILDHOOD FRIENDS TO LOVERS

“Remember our first day of middle school?” You ask while staring at the ceiling. The break between each sentence was so quiet you could hear every breath Sangha took. But it was comfortable. Everything felt like home when you were with him.

“Yeah?”

“I was so anxious that you wouldn’t be in the same class section as me. I almost cried looking at the list of names cause I missed yours the first time I looked at it.” You giggled, reminiscing about your childhood.

“You know I’d always find a way to be with you in class.” Sangha stated as a fact, rolling his eyes playfully. He shifted over to his side, cheek squished against the pillow. Your gaze fell to look at him, eyes meeting halfway. You both giggled.

It had been so long since you had a sleepover like this. They were almost every other night during elementary, and still at least once a week during middle school. You were always inseparable. High school was hard on you both, but you got through it together.

“Remember when you forced me to do a scary movie marathon with you on Halloween?” He smiled.

You grinned, “How could I ever forget that? You screamed like a teenage girl and hugged me the entire time.”

“It was scary!”

“It was literally Coraline.” 

“So?! I kept thinking about buttons getting sewn on my eyes.” He shuddered and you let out another laugh, wrapping the blanket tighter over your body. 

It was a bit chilly, and you were ever aware of the heat radiating off of Sangha’s body. It was just slightly too far away for you to benefit from, though. As Sangha continued rambling about horror films and his squeamishness towards the genre, you could only focus on the chill that ran up your spine and how you wish you were wrapped up in his arms instead of the blanket. 

That was weird. You had never wanted to cuddle with Sangha before. Sure, he was your best friend and you loved him, but you barely ever hugged him.

“Are you shivering? I told you to turn up the thermostat.” Sangha laughed, pulling on your arm. “Here, you can leech off of my warmth.”

Your eyes widened as he wrapped his arms around you, the chill immediately fading as you felt his body warmth. You shifted, head resting on his arm like a pillow. His face was close to you, and the blanket comfortably rested over both of you. 

You’d never been this close to him.

“Thanks.” You said quietly, gulping down a nervous lump in your throat. He was so pretty up close. Was he always this pretty?

He was your best friend— you shouldn’t be feeling nervous around him. You grew up with him. But you hadn’t been this close in years, and it was starting to affect you all too quickly. He brushed a strand of hair out of your face, and it had your heart racing a mile a minute.

“Still cold?” 

You shook your head slowly, feeling quite the opposite temperature you had a minute ago. You could feel heat creeping up your neck and spreading to your cheeks. 

“This feels… different.” You mustered your voice, although it still came out in a hesitant whisper.

“Do you not like it?” Sangha questioned, loosening his arms around you.

“No, I like it.” You caught his wrist before he could pull back from you completely, guiding it back to your waist. He breathed out, a smile growing on his lips. 

“I think I like you, you know.” His words were soft and sweet. You could feel the honesty in them. Of course, Sangha would never lie to you. You smiled, and despite your racing heart, you leaned in to press your lips to his. 

It definitely wasn’t what you had originally planned to happen on your first sleepover with your best friend in almost 2 years, but you couldn’t say you were disappointed with the results. He wasn’t just confined to that label anymore either, and now you could proudly call him your boyfriend. 

KIM JIWON ﾐ FALLBACK

Jiwon knew that he was your second choice. Someway or another, there always seemed to be a reason you wouldn’t choose him. He was tired of it. Tired of being thrown around and played with. Tired of being used when you needed it and discarded when you were done. He knew you were bad for him, but he couldn’t find a way to leave you for good.

His heart betrayed him, racing whenever he heard your voice, throwing all logic and sense out the window. He went through the same cycle, convincing himself that he needed to leave you, that you were no good for him. But he always failed. All you had to do was look into his eyes, ask him to stay, and he would. 

It was another one of those nights, where you had crashed at his place after another fight with your ex-boyfriend. You’d probably still choose your ex over him given the choice, wouldn’t you? He wished that he could say he wouldn’t choose staying with you over leaving, but that would be a lie. He was too hung up on the what if’s, dreaming about what could be instead of facing reality. 

He rinsed a washcloth under the sink in the bathroom, making sure the temperature was cold. Wringing it out, he shuffled back to the couch where you were passed out. You had shown up drunk, Jiwon could tell that much, and fell asleep as soon as your head hit the armrest. 

He placed the cool cloth on your forehead, adjusting a blanket over your frame with a sigh. What was he doing? Why was he caring for you so gently when you would just leave him when the morning came? He took a seat on the floor beside you, staring at your sleeping face as a million thoughts ran through his head. The answer to his questions stared right at him. He was still too in love with you to let you go. The pain you made him go through was incomparable to the pain of letting you go. He wasn’t strong enough to live his life without you in it.

God, he knew it sounded beyond pathetic. 

You woke up a few hours later. Your earlier headache from the alcohol had subsided. As you sat up slowly, taking in the sight of Jiwon’s apartment, you felt a pang in your chest. You always ended up here when something went wrong. Because you knew Jiwon would make things feel right again. Deep down, you knew it was wrong for you to keep relying on him. What was he even getting in return? 

“You’re awake.” 

Your eyes flicked up to his frame, standing in the kitchen, filling a glass with water. You forced the lump in your throat down as he walked over to you and gave you the glass.

“I’m sorry.” The words fell from your lips before Jiwon could say anything. You looked up to his face, eyes glossy with regret, “To make you have to work so much— I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have to take care of me.”

“It’s fine.” It wasn’t.

“He’s not good for you.” Jiwon said, looking at your tired eyes.

“You don’t have to remind me of that.” You whispered quietly, guilt drowning your frame. You sipped the water, trying to ignore the uncomfortable tension that had settled in the room.

“Do you still love him?” 

“I don’t know how to stop loving him.” You said honestly. 

Jiwon's eyes fell. Everything made sense— he understood it all too well. How could he sit there and tell you what to do when he couldn’t even take his own advice? He didn’t know how to stop loving either.

SHIN KANGSU ﾐ RIGHT PERSON, WRONG TIME

You missed Kangsu. So badly. Every night you spent alone in your bed, surrounded by the empty walls that used to hold memories of him, you missed him more. Your breakup hadn’t ended on bad terms, which, ironically, made everything worse. 

You were just in different stages of life. A relationship wasn’t sustainable in the midst of graduating university and finding your dream career. While you were burdened with the stress of endless choices, Kangsu was struggling with rejection and finding himself. You knew that had you continued your relationship, the turbulence would’ve turned into countless fights and a worse breakup in the end.

But you still believed that Kangsu was the one for you. He felt so right. And you would give anything to have him back now that your life was more stable. You still had his number, although you were afraid to call. You had both promised to cut off contact so you could focus on yourselves. Were you in a good position to ask him to come back? What if he wasn’t ready? What if he didn’t want to? What if he had found someone else?

While you were busy overthinking it, staring at his contact with the old contact photo and heart that you had never deleted from his name, you accidentally pressed the call button. He picked up after the first 2 rings.

“Y/n?”

“Kangsu?” His name felt like deja vu on your tongue. You had repeated it so many times in your head, but saying it out loud brought you back to 3 years ago. 

“Why’d you call?”

You closed your eyes, hearing his soft voice root itself in your head, sure to not leave your mind for the next week. 

“I miss you.” There was no need to lie or pretend like you didn’t. You had always been honest with Kangsu. He never judged you, so there was never a need to conceal yourself or your feelings.

“Really?”

The small lilt in his tone made a flurry of butterflies rush to your stomach. A need to know everything that had happened in his life over the past years invaded your entire body. Before you knew it, you were standing up from your bed and shuffling to put your shoes on.

“Really.”

“Are you free?”

You hummed in affirmation. 

“30 minutes, our spot… Okay?”

“Okay.” You slipped on your coat and opened the front door, hearing similar shuffling from the other side of the phone. You hesitated for a moment, wondering if it would sound too desperate, but in the end you decided you didn’t care. “I need to see you.” 

There was a pause on Kangsu’s end, as he took in the yearning of your voice. “You’ll see me. I’ll be there, I promise.”

The 30 minutes spent getting to the park that you used to spend every evening at with Kangsu was both fast and slow at the same time. Impatient, anxious, worried, bittersweet; you couldn’t place exactly what you were feeling. You wanted to be back in his arms, the place you craved for years after you broke up. 

You found him sitting on the bench you always sat at, staring at the little bridge running over a small pond. When he saw you, he stood up instantly, eyes glued to your figure. 

He looked different. A good different. You could see the confidence in his face and more wisdom in his eyes. He seemed sure of himself just by the way he held his head on his shoulders. You could tell from just a look that the years apart had been well worth it. He had needed it, and now an even better version of him was facing you.

He pulled you into his arms before you could even run to them, and it all felt the same. His arms wrapped around your body, squeezing you gently. Your perfume hitting his nose, intoxicating his brain with everything he missed about you.

“I missed you.” His earnest words flooded your heart and you buried your head into his chest. Right person, right time.

JEONG JUNHO ﾐ ANNOYANCES TO LOVERS

Junho was always like a splinter in your finger, a pebble in your shoe, or a stitch in your side. Annoying, but never harmful enough to do any real damage. You both messed with each other for your own entertainment, only because he was the oldest friend you knew.

He was easy to play bully when you were younger. He was always shorter than you, with a wimpier frame and a squeakier voice. As six year olds, your harmless bickering and teasing never cut too deep. You’d make fun of each other’s toys in elementary school, or your outfits in middle. You groaned in annoyance whenever you were paired together for projects, spending the whole time bickering and ending up getting a low grade for it. 

By high school, you teased each other for getting a low score on a test, competing to see who would place lower in the class ranking (not that either of you were in the running for the top spots). But you both still ended up sitting together in the canteen when you found yourself friendless the first week. Junho was the only familiar person around you, despite the less than friendly dynamic you shared. While you certainly still bickered and annoyed each other, you could barely throw the low blows you used to. 

Puberty had hit Junho like a truck, gracing him with a tall muscular figure, and a much deeper voice. You could truthfully only admire how he had come into his own. But that didn’t mean you would stop getting a reaction out of him, although you couldn’t ignore how a certain fondness was starting to grow in your heart for him.

When you joined the soccer team, he showed up to practice to laugh whenever you tripped over your own two feet, only for him to be the same person to walk you to the nurse’s office. When he joined musical theater, you made fun of him whenever he was off-key, only to bring him flowers after his first show as the lead role. 

Your quick comebacks to his every teasing remark was a sense of familiarity that he didn’t want to lose. When feelings got into the mix with your regular banter was something neither you or Junho could pinpoint. What you did know is at some point, your eye rolls held all the fondness in the world and your playful smacks on the shoulder were a bit softer than usual. At some point, a sense of pride flooded your body when you looked at Junho and his accomplishments, and you started to voice how proud you were of him.

Whether small pats on the shoulder or tousling his hair (if you could reach), the message seemed to get across to him. The boy you had known since you were little had grown into the man you wanted to be beside you for the rest of your life. Him asking you out officially one late night on a walk surprised neither of you. You knew the feelings had been mutual for a while.

The shift to dating was natural as well. Maybe you were both a bit more caring and attentive than before. You were no longer too shy to hold his hand whenever you wanted (nor did you dismiss the thought whenever it came up, under the delusion that you could never like someone as annoying as Junho). He no longer debated whether bending down to kiss you was overstepping the boundaries of friendship (he had long since lost the war of fighting how much he adored you). But poking fun at each other would always be your love language, and that was a reality you were both more than content with. 

↳ nomad taglist: @eternalgyu,, @hursheys

[huhjxn]

NEWJINS: [40] bad intentions?

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[caramelvogel]

all of them are perfect for a slice of life

they’re so close, kdj and ysa are coworkers, kdj takes the train one train car away from yjh, jhw works at a bar not too far, kdj loves web novels and hsy writes them, the kids both have shitty parents and would probably love somewhere where they could stay, ljh could watch yjh play competitive games and look up to him, and lhs… is in the military

(a way to have him in would be quitting the military and being incredibly listless until someone (yjh or kdj) gives him purpose again. he could yjh’s bodyguard)

(why does yjh need a body guard? don’t ask me. anyway imagine all the fan edits of him lol, “supreme kings body guard being cute for 5 minutes straight”)

yjh does like, martial arts instructing on the side and that’s how he meets ljh, and knw (ljh and knw are in the same class and ljh beats the shit out of him)

han donghoon interns at minosoft, him and kdj bond over web novels and online stuff. being the main quiet guy hdh gravitates toward kdj

maybe lgy and sys go to school together (idk where either of them are exactly from but now they live close cause i said so) and they take the train together alone

kdj sees them like everyday and does his thing where in his head he’s like “ugh i’m a terrible guy who is just a bystander to this kids who are alone” and then does little kind acts for them

they only see each other in the morning cause the kids get out of school much earlier than kdj gets out of work, and he like gives up his seat to them regularly if he gets one, makes sure they don’t get jostled, eventually gives them little snacks for breakfast when it’s clear he’s not a weirdo

if yjh is nearby, and so are the lgy and sys, then they could go to school with yma

just all of them being interconnected

like kdj and ysa are friends with jhw who’s friends with/dating lhs who’s friends/works with yjh who’s little sister yma goes to school with sys and lgy, who interact with kdj on the train everyday, and kdj is online friends with hsy who is irl friends with yjh

[talkingsaxy]

PHOTOS YOU'VE TAKEN OF YOUR BOYFRIEND ON:N

please don't repost, requests open!

[leafyloveslaughing]

world of zero. but what if kim dokja also spoiled the company members sometimes.

yjh only looked away for a few minutes.. tho to be fair sys only got a scratch. dokja's just (mostly) being a little shit.

[evil-lemonade]

WELCOME!

Hi! I'm late to every single k-drama but I can't help it. I'll still write for every character I loved a lot!

I just watched first season of Uncanny Counter and Cheong-Shin is my ultimate favorite hurt puppy. I'll write for him, and probably evil souls with puppy Mun or Motak, because the spice can be chef kiss.

Also: My Name, there's no single soul that didn't love MuJin, TaeJu or Pildo, I'm no exception. I'll write for them all.

D.P. : There's no way I won't write for JunHo or HoYeol, I loved them too!

Kim SeonHo as his freaking evil character in his new movie "The Childe"? Yas.

Mr. Gu in Liberation Notes? Yes please.

This blog will start with scenarios with almost every single mafia, evil, psycho, mysterious character I loved in k-dramas and k-movies uwu We'll get to the cute, nice characters later <3

Hope you enjoy your stay on this blog!

[orphiclovers]

Kim Dokja was already bestowing cruel salvation in scenario six... he's been getting god coded from the beginning I'm ILL!

41st regressions shin yoosung called him a god too...*shakes fist* it's all so clear on a reread....

[mxdotpng]

thinking again about [incarnation kim dokja will be killed by the person he loves most]. orv as a whole rewards you for reading and remembering every bit of text in that novel but my favorite part is definitely the parallel between everyone fighting to kill kim dokja in "73rd demon king" and everyone fighting to save kim dokja in "the most ancient dream". shin yoosung and lee gilyoung are described to be holding themselves back and unable to do anything in both scenarios. jung heewon raises her sword to fight the demon king, and drops it when she meets the most ancient dream. han sooyoung is almost silent as she fights dokja and then she's clawing and screaming as secretive plotter levels his sword at the most ancient dream's head.

more than that i think often about how kim dokja sacrificed himself to become the demon king of salvation to save everyone. and while he claims again and again that he wants to save them again by eliminating the star stream, his desperation in wanting the most ancient dream to die is because he can't stand the sight of himself. he was crawling on his hands and knees begging for a weapon because he was powerless, and because he wanted to die. he knew how selfish he was being, too, both times -- how cruel it was to ask for his friends to kill him, and how cruel it was for wanting to kill himself even if the star stream - and its stories, its past, its future - would come to an end. its kind of beautiful that both times, in a way, the story he loved most is what ended him.

[theofficialuriel]

Kim Dokja having never felt parental love after his mother’s arrest and having been neglected (and maybe abused) by his foster home.

Lee Gilyoung having never felt parental love after his parents’ death and having been neglected (and maybe abused) by his aunt.

Kim Dokja taking Lee Gilyoung in after the first scenario and giving Lee Gilyoung a parental figure to look up to.

Lee Gilyoung feeling parental love for the first time since his parents and attaching himself to that figure.

Kim Dokja abandoning him time and time again, either through actually leaving or getting himself killed. Kim Dokja clearly favoring Shin Yoosung and Biyoo over Lee Gilyoung. Kim Dokja being simultaneously the most present and most absent parental figure on his life.

Lee Gilyoung finally getting used to Kim Dokja’s constant disappearing and reappearing act… only for his Hyung to never reappear again.

[nightylantern]

Spoilers for the orv novel: The way YOOHANKIM and how they correlate in terms of kids always makes me emotional

Warnings: violence, spoilers, su1c1d3. Read at your own risk

Thinking about how Kim Dokja is soft towards children. How he saved Lee Gilyoung when he could have simply taken the bugs, even if it’s hypocrisy in his eyes. How he didn’t leave him behind even when Gilyoung told him he could. How he acknowledged his he child who survived in Guemo station. How he knew Yoosoung would be a catastrophe and still didn’t want her to die, making her his incarnation and forgiving the 41st round Shin Yoosoung

and making THAT Yoosoung his daughter. Aswell as when he announced to the world before the final scenario that he wouldn’t be saving the people, only decided to provide them comfort that Yoo Joonghyuk would save them when he noticed a child who seemed afraid.

Thinking about how Han Sooyoung never hesitated to kill anyone, like with Shin Yoosoung, despite it being a child. Especially if it meant saving the world, she was no hero, but if she saw a way to prevent a calamity she wouldn’t hesitate.

How 1863 Han Sooyoung also didn’t hesitate for the deaths of children, how she told YJH of 1863 to let Mia die. How she was willing to destroy that world line solely to get home, taking the lives of many children with it.

Thinking about Yoo Joonghyuk who was already a “parent” raising his little sister. How noticeable it was for him to be soft with her, but also him in the 1863 who allowed her to die. That’s not saying he stopped loving her, it was her death in that round that made him go more mad, but he was at a breaking point, and perhaps Mia could be at peace and no longer had to die. Also him willing to kill Shin Yoosoung, another child who was once an ally, be it her future or past. Him who also was thinking about killing Lee Gilyoung at the beginning upon learning about his sponsor. He never hesitated putting those kids in danger he knew they could handle, and wouldn’t hesitate to kill children for the greater good.

Thinking about SP who also was at his limit but never once stopped loving Mia, how he longed to be with her again in that ball he was stuck in, but never could truly meet her. How he had compassion for that boy in his train car and how he tried to save him, knowing that he would still die, and thus he would kill everyone in that car, regardless of it being a child or an adult.

Thinking how all of those patterns go out of the window when they meet Yoo Joonghyuks sponsor, who was also a child…a pitiful one at that.

Thinking how Kim Dokja would have done everything to save that child, how he would have found any loophole, and making sure that child would be cherished and loved.

Thinking how none of that happens and he tries to kill the child, how the child called him a monster. How he has nothing but hatred for that child to the point where upon using the disconnected film theory he tried to slice his own neck. How he solely was thinking about a blade either to end his own life or that child’s life. How he was yelling for the child to be killed as he was being held back. Why?

because that child was him, and his future was being a monster.

How Yoo Joonghyuk who never hesitated to kill children for the greater good, refused to kill the oldest dream despite it resulting in the end of the scenarios. He held hatred for constellations, especially his sponsor who granted his stigma, and yet stopped Dokja from killing himself. Grabbing the broken blade so hard as he calls for the rest of the company to help him.

How SP wanted nothing more than FOR CENTURIES to kill his sponsor, the sole reason for his suffering, and so that he could finally die. How he forgave his sponsor so quickly upon seeing that it wasn’t the evil sadistic puppeteer he believed he was for centuries, but a child who loved his story with all his heart, a child who needed his story to survive. How he called him a pitiful child and rather then wanting the death he dreamed of, he chose to live, and would be willing to regress if it meant to make his sponsor happy.

How Han Sooyoung who never hesitated to kill children for the greater good, or for herself and yet, she punches Dokja just as he was about to strike the child with the blade, how she was crying while punching his body not out of hatred for him being partially the reason for the scenarios, but because he wanted to kill his past self. How she was grabbing him with Yoo Joonghyuk to stop him, trying to tell the oldest dream that they just wanted to talk and not hurt him, and how she was crying, trying to stop the plotter when they assumed he wanted to kill the child. How she reprimanded Yoo Joonghyuk from strangling Kim Dokja who was in a child form, with saying that it’s still a child.

1863 Han Sooyoung who wanted to stop TWSA from being published to prevent the scenarios, only to become the author of the book when she saw Kim Dokjas 15 year old self in a hospital bed after trying to end it all. How she recalled from a memory, regardless of it being hers or the original bodies, how Dokja said that the story saves his life. How she knew that millions of people would die, yet wanted to save him. How she didn’t care and only thought about that small child on the bed, how she knew her mental state would be rid of, and thus she forgot, as it all faded into the subconscious of the real body.

Thinking about how regardless of which of the three it is, their moralities and goals will bend solely when it comes to Kim Dokja, because while YooHan had the ability to stop the scenarios and their own suffering they chose to continue suffering for the sake of Kim Dokja and that little child who unintentionally doomed the world. Their correlation with children vs. The most ancient dream is the biggest proof one has. This isn’t me saying that they are child killers (YooHan), though if one had no context then they would assume so, but I just can’t get over the parallels with them and the children that are significant towards them.

[huhjxn]

NEWJINS: [36] take me out

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[glassrowboat]

Selfess. Kim Dokja.

Summary: The irony, to be a reader's reader. To view his story in between breaks at work, between sick days and vacations, as words flickered before you the same way they did for him on the subway. Digital words trying to break down every little aspect of a man you know hurts inside with a raw passion. Like scraped skin meeting air for the first time. It made you want to hold him, to listen to him, to comfort him, but Dokja always held you at arms length in some way, even if it was so subtle no one but you could sense it.

Author's Note: This has no spoilers for the manhwa readers but was written for those who have gone through the entire novel

Word Count: 3500+

Written for 'Help Me, Hold Me' a collab by @tomuras

Selfishness. A human trait. One bled into society to the point it has been ingrained in every sidewalk; every ruined shop with shelves toppled over from those searching desperately for food, only to find nothing; every hand held out waiting to be held; and every moment that passes by while you're selfish enough to dare to take another breath. Possibly robbing another of their own air to fill their lungs.

Should you stop and risk apologizing?

No, there was never the time to spare.

Too selfish to stop and give those few precious seconds to another person as they cry for aid or in pure, unbridled wrath as you kill the person next to them. Throat squeezed between your bare hands even after their pulse faded away. Only letting go because you were pushed off. Having, at the time, been shoved to the ground as a murderer just like you rose a pipe so high you couldn't imagine it doing anything other than crashing into your skull as it fell.

Whenever that memory comes up, it somehow always leaves a dull ache in your head, like you're remembering the times that metal became one with your bones and brain. Shattering on impact with a sickening thud that left you feeling sick before it all went black.

That would make sense, after all, wouldn’t it? That man having been the one to end it all for you time and time again, so you never end up making it past that first scenario. (Much like a certain someone.)

The first challenge that faced everyone in this dome.

The one that made everyone in it a murderer.

Self-serving.

Self-centered.

Self-regarding.

That's what you all were.

Even him, having dared to make a request of you.

Even as Dokja rested in your lap, black hair tickling your thighs that had you wondering if shorts really were a good idea for sleepwear even if it was the dead of summer and it's annoyingly high temps that left you sweating even when a sword wasn't grasped in hand. Calluses you never thought you'd have carding through the sleeping man's tresses. Absent-minded as you kept your blurred gaze on him.

It was decided the lot of you would hole up here for the night even with the cracks in the foundation that had you second-guessing the structural integrity, but you had been assured it's fine. Like an office worker had any right to assure you of that, but you still shut your mouth at that and nodded along.

“Sure, Ugly,” on your lips. A teasing smile meeting his grimace at the moniker Dokja never failed to show his hatred for.

Good for him. He can be pissy all he wants. If anything, it just makes you tempted to take your phone out and snatch a picture. That is, if it wasn't shattered to a thousand pieces by now and tossed into the waters below. Fish food now, much like Dokja was after Yoo Joonghyuk dropped him off the bridge.

He doesn't appreciate that joke either.

You had insisted on being the one to stay up, to keep watch even as he fought you the entire way as you and the kids wrangled him into laying down. Gilyoung had kicked your shin for pointing out Dokja's eye bags as he finally laid down. White coat folded up in a bundle, far from neatly at that, and tucked under his head in place of a pillow.

This time, you chose to hold your tongue from joking about his mother never teaching him how to do laundry.

So you sat and waited, brushing off the dirt from the assault the evil little creature (or as you liked to call the kid as you pinched his cheeks) left on you. Footprint easily blending in with all the other layers of dirt you have accrued over the past few days without a proper bath. Wet wipes only proved to be a decent substitution for so long. The sun slowly dipped behind concrete towers until being swallowed away by the waters to come back tomorrow, the moon rising in its stead.

Glowing brighter than you could ever recall it doing before this world turned to shit. The lack of street lamps probably helped. Even if the stars were out, almost so close you could reach out and touch them. Card your fingers through the Milky Way like it was a pot of glitter from an arts and crafts project.

“I know you're still awake.” You finally said after you were one hundred percent certain the kids were passed out. Blankets no longer stirred from trying to get comfortable on the hard floor, and Yoosung's mutterings flowed into her habit of talking into her sleep.

Oftentimes, she would cry for someone to come hold her; even in the dead of night.

“I'm sore from that fight earlier today. And it's taking longer to get used to the concrete than I thought it would.”

“Liar. You just need to make sure for yourself that we'll all be okay.”

You waved off the messages appearing beside you at his reply. Notifications came so often that you had learned to tune them out.

“I'll take over from here. You should get some rest yourself.”

It was surprising he didn't punctuate the sentence with your sponsor's title, or worse, your name. He had a habit of doing that at the worst of times, making himself all cozy by disregarding your last name entirely and simply calling you by ... .Well, by the word that makes you turn your head on instinct the second it's called out.

By now, it was far too fuzzy in your brain to remember that first time you truly met him to recall if you gave it to him or he simply knew it.

Were you, too, a character in his eyes?

The thought had struck you many times, what Dokja saw when he looked at you. Especially now as he turned over in his spot, head propped up on his hand to look at you. Scrutinizing. Like he was reading a blue box perched right under your profile that read out:

Your name.

Your age.

Supporting constellation: Arrow-shooting cherub.

And all that other drabble that came with it.

Or were you a selfish person that he chooses to see as an ally despite having no place in his heart before the world fell?

Honestly, you had no clue which was better. At least with the latter he wouldn't know the times you cried late at night in your room, of the times you blearily made it through the day only to let the worlds between pages be your comfort as soon as the front door locked behind you, of how you would see a character so broken, so damaged and-

“No.” You huffed.

Both to his words and your own mind's ramblings. If you could bury that away the same way the Ugly King was atop that hill as wails filled your ears, you would.

“You're human like the rest of us, whether you like it or not. Got that, bubba?”

Such a different way of calling him ahjussi. Definitely a lot less respectful, but something tells you he doesn't mind as much as some other stubborn men in this world would.

“Here I thought I was a Supernatural character. That's what you like to call me with the others, right?”

At least not enough to roll his eyes at, anyway.

“I think the name suits you well. You're just missing some plaid. We can get you a shirt…or a kilt?”

“Not happening.”

A huff of a laugh escaped him, somewhere between breath of air pushing out of his lungs and the chuckles you can get from him after telling a particularly bad pun.

You two stayed like that for a minute, Dokja laying down with his eyes on you. Somehow, even with the intrusive feeling of him staring through you rather than at you, it was comforting.

Dark eyes shone in the light of the fire keeping the four of you warm. Crackling firewood as it tumbled into a new shape, a new little tent of sticks a better background noise to listen to than the mutterings as they finally slowed down for the time being.

“They care about you.”

To the point Yoosung and Gilyoung were nearly attached to him at the hip. If someone had told you those two were stuck to him on those backpacks with leashes parents used before the fall, you wouldn't have even batted an eye. Maybe even believed it for a moment there.

“Which is why you need to get some rest. The first step in letting someone care about you is letting them force you to sleep, to eat, to sit back and let them…”

Hug you.

“Help you.”

‘Don't think about yourself here’ is a great reminder as to why you pressed your lips together in a thin, impossibly straight line. Refusing to say the words lurking in your mind.

“You mean to tell me I'm not supposed to do everything myself?”

The sarcasm in his voice made you want to snatch that makeshift pillow out from under him. So, of course, that's what you do. A call of your name filling the air as he tried to wrangle it back. Something about how it's too cool to end up ruined and how he went through a lot of effort to get that.

“Last I checked, you wanted it in black!”

He was still tugging it from your hands when you heard a murmured call of Dokja's name over the ruckus you were both causing when you froze. He did, too, looking back at the kids for a moment before sighing in relief.

Just Yoosung. As normal.

“I can't rest if I don't have something to sleep on,” he whispered to you. Tone harsh, but never filled with as much contempt as when speaking to a certain regressor. That, and every other emotion he held for the man.

“But I'm cold.” You dared to say, like it wasn't sweltering hot only hours before.

Well, some did say that the summer nights are the ones that make you truly feel like you're freezing.

“Are you?”

Before you could even nod he had pulled the jacket from your hands, with enough force you couldn't help but wonder if his petty ass stacked a few coins up and pushed them into the starstreams vaults, or however that worked, to up his strength stat. Not even your grippy little fingers helped at all. Your attempts to hold onto it a forgotten cause.

Or not.

Not as he wrapped it around your shoulders with a boyish grin. Something so nice to see, his ability to smile, even if it is only to comfort you.

It would be so easy to let your head fall to the clouds and pretend he's not forcing it. But after what happened recently, another scenario passed you by like a bullet train that whooshed up your scarf and had it flying up and away to follow it even as you desperately reached out to grasp onto it with all you had, you knew that simply wasn't the case.

“It smells like male B.O.”

“Well, I do happen to be a man.” Before you could even protest, Dokja said: “despite what you may say.”

“You got laundry soap in that fancy Dokkaebi Shop of yours?”

“Actually, I might.”

You could see his hand twitching to pull up the menu to check, something you're not even sure of if Dokja is allowed to do in front of you despite the many times he has. Little to no shame about it now that he had become a constellation.

“Later. Or I'll make fun of the fact that your eyebags are so big you can carry all my trauma in there.”

“You literally just did.”

Your hand was on his face before you could even think about it, thumb brushing along the bluish skin as it became more and more tinted the longer this world stayed like this. He would stay up most nights insisting to keep watch even if he was the one to suggest everyone stopped to rest, biting at his thumb as endless possibilities swirled in that stubborn mind of his.

Does he not know it's rude to make others see him wearing himself down like that every day?

“Don't know what you're talking about, bubba.”

And this position is extremely awkward now that you think about it. Hand snapping back to your side to grab at that stupid coat to pull it tighter around you despite not truly needing its warmth. However, it did smell nice. Like him. Despite, well, the gross layer to it.

“Right…”

“You could use some eye cream. Too bad your ugly self never heard of makeup before the dome came up. Otherwise, you might have actually had a social life.”

Beyond just pretending the one he admired with all his heart was real in those moments of weakness when the feeling of being alone truly etched itself into his heart. Was a solid human being who could pat him on the shoulder as they did that awkward man hug.

“Why are you like this?” Dokja asked in the flattest tone he could manage.

“You see, it all started when my parents had sex-”

Dokja shook his head at that. His stupid bowl cut waving back and forth in just the right way that had it slightly tousled up when he stopped.

And we all had problems in this world that made us what we are now.

That's what you didn't say.

“Rest. Please.” Not a request, not a demand, but a plea. One that had your voice cracking in protest at opening up that tiniest bit without the doors to your heart being pried open with a crowbar. Of course, they'd have to get through the chains and boards nailed to the frame first.

Selfishly, you wanted him to be the one to pull those nails from the rotting wood.

In a way, he already has. (The same you know he will never fully free you of them).

And you wanted to be the one to hold the lock over his own, to cradle it, and open it not with a pick or some other cheap tool meant to get to the treasure within so easily, but with a key he willingly gives you.

To know what it's like for him, for once, to be honest with you. Even if that means to stop lying to himself in the process.

“Or I'll get a marker and really draw attention to those bags of yours. Maybe I'll even start calling you an old man and insisting they're a sign of aging. Those stories catching up with you, oldy?

“I never thought I would have missed being called ‘Ugly King.’” He groaned.

But for now, all you can do is watch it dangle before you as it shines in the light of another's hands. Dangling from a black cord. Yoo Joonghyuk. How Dokja looks at the regressor the same way you did him.

“Then I'll be nice for once and keep that nickname to myself if you lay down, shut your eyes, and fall the fuck to sleep.” Before he could ask with what pillow, because, yes, you were already expecting that question, you pat your lap. Far too used to his sarcasm to not see it coming a mile away. “Sleep.”

There was no fight, no bite back as Dokja just sighed and let himself fall down even as he was clearly embarrassed over this. Refusing to look at you like that would do anything to stop the tiniest flush you could see in his skin if you simply stopped to look. Just like you always have. But still, no fight was a good thing. Hopefully, that meant he was too exhausted to even bother because then he would have no choice but to slip away into dream land as your fingers slid through his hair. Easing him into the wakeless world.

“I'll keep watch. I promise.”

You soaked in his time, in him, as you watched those eyes drift shut.

“Last time I heard you singing Gilyoung a song.” The words were particularly muffled by your thigh, the skin growing goosebumps as you felt his breath fanning over you. Somehow, you're too hot and too cold all at the same time as you replied back with a confirmation.

“Are you asking me to sing for you, too? Does little Dokja need a lullaby?”

“Nevermind.”

“Hey, hey, no.” Your hand stopped in his hair for a moment, the dirt under your nails from earlier today so easily spotted as your eyes flicked between him and the calloused hand that has dared to take lives, but still treat him so softly. “I just don't really remember all the words. I can't look them up without wifi and all that so…”

“What do you remember?” He dared to ask.

So, for him, you answered: “enough.”

Enough for you to hum to the parts you're missing and sing the rest as that moon that had risen up into the sky slowly started to drop again. It's much like a video game where you're messing with the time settings just to continue on your quest. Your next adventure. Your next task.

But selfishly, you wanted this moment to last forever as you sang about a little baby moon shining in the sky with his funny little toes in the air.

“And he's all alone in that big blue sky.”

The lyrics had you aching to stop and to bite at your lip as Dokja drifted off to sleep, but still you continued on, because for him, It didn't matter if your throat burned or you legs went numb. Not even when you'd surely have trouble walking the next day as they struggled to pump blood back through them properly, not if it meant he got a moment of reprieve from what you knew was going to happen next.

Is this what it felt like for him watching Yoo Joonghyuk during their encounters? Each passing day went by like a sweet song that you wished to play in your head again and again until you remembered every lyric, every pitch, every note, until the ability to play it through memory alone graced you.

The same way you did the pages of his book. Quote after quote of his assurances to others that he never dared give himself still so fresh even after reading through them for the nth time.

How you wanted to be the one to tell Dokja he'd be able to get through it all.

If he only allowed it.

Only allowed you in to give him more than a moment of reprieve to sleep. To hold him, to listen to him, to comfort him. To cradle Dokja the same way you did your phone after reading translations of the novel in the dead of the night.

It's complicated to hold someone this dear, to look at them and only wish for them to have the best yet know they have been robbed of that. Know they will be robbed of even more.

But this is the choice he wanted.

And who are you to disrespect that?

Even as it has tears falling from your cheeks as you sang that stupid song again, words coming out broken between sobs you hoped wouldn't wake the children and the man you loved in a way that went beyond mere friendship, beyond mere passion for another, beyond mere familial ties.

No, it went beyond that.

That's why you couldn't be selfish, not with him, not even after all those fix it fics you relished in because at least then you'd see him happy. See that boyish grin full of pure joy and nothing else.

So you would stand on the side lines, let him view you as another character to save if he must, and hold your sword tight as it's raised to protect him.

Because, and the words came out like a croak as you whispered them to yourself, a confession between only you and the constellations above. “I love you.”

‘In lieu of loving myself.’

The fate of a reader's reader. Your precious main character.

For your selfishness, for your own broken and guarded heart, for him, this can only be said knowing he can't hear your deepest secret. No, Dokja had other things he needed to do, better, more important things than to worry about you. So you would give it all to him, no matter if it meant shattering yourself too.

[talkingsaxy]

𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐨𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝, 𝐚𝐥𝐥(𝐡)𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬

will be added as posted

xayden

masami

on:n

[metanarrates]

the demon world arc centers itself primarily around four relationships that kim dokja has: his relationship with biyoo, his relationship with han myungoh, his relationship with jang hayoung, and his relationship with yoo joonghyuk. what I find very interesting about this is that the throughlines of all the first three relationships, as either introduced or recontexualized in this arc, have to do with parenthood/the responsibility of creation.

the last arc, dark castle, heavily examined kim dokja's relationship with his own mother. now, in this arc, he is taking on the role of a parent and the associated guilt and responsibility with it. let's take a look at the first three relationships mentioned.

biyoo - biyoo hatches this arc! though kim dokja needs her abilities as a dokkaebi to survive here, he feels some measure of guilt about bringing her into this world where she has no choice but to love the story. she's not a human infant, so their relationship isn't the same as a traditional parent and child bond, but he still views himself as her parent and feels responsible for her. her utility as a helping hand in his survival and his guilt towards both her and her past life as 41st shin yoosung are both major components of their interactions this arc.

jang hayoung- while kim dokja is emphatically not her parent, it was his comments on twsa that created her character. again, like biyoo, he feels some guilt and discomfort with his role in bringing her into the world. while it is plot-important that he helps her develop past her emotional problems this arc, I can't help but read his interest in helping her develop as being related to his personal sense of responsibility to her. he takes on the role of an older mentor to her in this arc. (you also super get the sense that kim dokja does not understand Kids These Days lmao)

these two relationships inform each other quite a bit. biyoo highlights kim dokja's responsibility as a parent, on a very mundane level. meanwhile, jang hayoung highlights kim dokja's responsibility as a story creator. both of these roles have things in common, and since biyoo is a story creator and jang hayoung is a real person rather than a fictional character, there's aspects of both roles present in both relationships.

kim dokja struggles quite a bit with viewing himself as an active party in the world. dark castle, as part of its setup in informing kdj's ongoing character, dealt quite heavily with how his mother's choices and his reliance on the fourth wall created this problem. now, he is forced to acknowledge his direct involvement in the creation of two separate people, and the veil of fiction cannot protect him. he is a parent. and his comments on twsa created a living person. he cannot easily deny, now, that his involvement with twsa is something that had no consequences. he hasn't quite processed all of that yet, but the feelings of guilt and responsibility are difficult to ignore. both of these relationships are priming him to deal with more difficult stuff down the line. we'll get to that in a minute.

meanwhile, han myungoh serves as an interesting parallel to kim dokja now! after learning that han myungoh has a daughter and was changed by his responsibilities as a parent, kim dokja is forced to reevaluate his relationship with someone who was formerly only his cruel boss. his presence in the story brings forward a lot of observations on parenthood that kim dokja would not have otherwise noticed. and... it also provides setup for kim dokja further coming to understand that people can grow past his impressions of them.

which brings us to yoo joonghyuk. THE focal point through the novel regarding kim dokja's involvement in the world of the scenarios. while his role in this arc is primarily dealing with his and kim dokja's relationship on a mundane level - and them literally impersonating each other - his presence is a reminder, something highlights those meditations on creation, responsibility, and involvement in one's story. if jang hayoung was created as a foil for yoo joonghyuk, and kim dokja is helping yoo joonghyuk develop in this timeline, can kim dokja really say that his reading of twsa did not have any consequences...? the thematic and emotional groundwork laid by this arc lays down a strong foundation for that question to be brought forward and explored more in future arcs.

[keakiwis]

thank you yoo sangah for being the n1 girls girl because i know you’re the type of girl to help another girl out at the bar, also for sacrificing yourself for kim dokja’s mom, and for dealing with the stupid men at your work (also a respecter of decisions, seen in the epilogue, dokja gotta say thank you for not ratting him out)

thank you jung heewon for being one of kdj’s most dedicated members after hsy and yjh until the end because i know its def hard after dokja sacrifices himself every time but you still will do what he asks

thank you lee seolhwa for being the glorious healer that you are and keeping everyone alive, you deserved another regression version of you (yes i’m still on this)

thank you jang hayoung for being a dkos fanatic and my favorite second protagonist ily and i think it’d also be cool if we got another regression version of you or how yjh met you in other regressions

thank you lee jihye for being relatable, funny, and taking care of lee gilyoung and shin yoosung when kim dokja wasn’t there, also for being a good older sister to them

thank you uriel for being one of dokja’s biggest supporters, incarnating into the scenarios for him, going to the demon realm for him, and literally losing your internet privileges from metatron for him

thank you anna croft for being anna croft and for being one of kim dokja’s narrative victims. oh and thank you for being mischaracterized by the fandom and being misunderstood for your intentions but still continue to fight for what you thought was right

thank you biyoo for reincarnating into a dokkaebi, giving sub scenarios to kim dokja, and putting up with his bullshit, truly the most tired one of his shenanigans

thank you shin yoosung for saving kim dokja, being lee gilyoung’s friend, being underrated, for having to grow up faster to survive, and being willing to sacrifice yourself twice (once for feeling guilty and being willing to die for 41st sys, and the second being during the intersecting scene during the kaizenix arc where we see where lee gilyoung, lee jihye, and shin yoosung were teleported to)

thank you jophiel for sacrificing yourself to stay back in the 1863rd round, you were actually really cool with the few time you had

thank you gabriel for taking the blame for jophiel when you got back to eden and for taking care of uriel too

thank you lee sookyung for being kim dokja’s mother, for keeping a secret for your son, for allowing him to hate you despite knowing the truth, and having the best intentions for your son

thank you cho youngran for looking after lee sookyung and being dedicated to her

thank you persephone for being kim dokja’s other mom, for lending him aid whenever he asked for it (be thankful kdj), for showing actual care for him later on, for fighting for him during the ark

thank you selena kim for looking out for iris and being kind still after anna croft used you

thank you iris for surviving because even if you were one of kim dokja’s least favorite characters in twsa, you were still a child when the scenarios happened and you were betrayed by anna croft

thank you yoo mia for being silly, rude to kim dokja, and for offering to help secretive plotter

thank you min jiwon for being pretty and for being the king of beauty

thank you asuka ren for creating peace land, which lead to kyrgios existing, also for supporting kim dokja during the final scenario

thank you namgung minyoung, who is breaking the sky sword saint, for training punisher, jang hayoung, breaking the sky sword master, for helping kim dokja during the surya train, for being a half giant, and finally for being kyrgios’ ex girlfriend

thank you punisher for being punisher there’s nothing other than that, i love you queen

thank you tls123 for creating the star stream, killing billions, maybe even more than that, writing twsa for thirteen years straight, for doing it all to see kim dokja and to see him live again, for creating the altered 1863rd round (which is definitely a favorite for me)

and finally, thank you han sooyoung for everything because if i write down all the things i’m grateful that you did then it would take me ages, and thanks for being my favorite ever