#kilton's collection

[kiltons-collection]

The stone colossus, commonly called Talus. 1/5

Appearance

The talus, being a stone-based lifeform, spends most of its time inert, half buried in the ground and appearing to be nothing more than a large rock.

When alerted, it will rise from the earth and for itself into a roughly bipedal form with a large body lacking differentiation between head and torso, a small hip, relatively tiny legs, and large arms which it can reform from its environment in case of loss.

Behavior

If the threat is close, it will attempt a sweeping, crushing motion to knock the opponent off his feet, or faceplant to overwhelm the opponent with its massive weight. If the threat has gained some distance, it will throw its boulder-like arms at the opponent.

The creature is immune to damage from the elements, but can be subdued temporarily with explosives. The small, ore-rich deposit on its head or back is the colossus' only weak point, and it will do everything in its power to keep an opponent at its front. Other attacks vary by subtype.

The talus is best observed from the air. Failing that, a suitably tall cliff with lots of room to move will suffice. A more daring adventurer may choose to climb onto the beast itself, though this is very dangerous and should only be attempted with adequate medical supplies to hand, as it will vibrate its body violently to shake the offender off.

Subtypes

Luminous

This talus' ore deposit is primarily composed of luminous stone, the very same stones used to craft the massive sculpture that is Zora's Domain. Its behavior does not vary from the common stone talus.

Rare

This talus' ore deposit is primarily composed of rare gems. Its behavior does not vary from the common stone talus.

Igneo

Igneo taluses make their home in the searing lava of the Death Mountain area. It it too hot to touch, even with a liberal application of fireproof elixir. Its distance attacks also cause severe burns. Ice arrows are recommended for close observation.

Frost

This talus coats its body in enchanted frost, freezing any being that dares approach. Its long distance attacks also carry this freezing ability. Fire arrows are advised for close observation.

Pebblit

These are, essentially, Baby Taluses. They are small enough to be picked up and moved, but they do not like it and tend to explode. They are surprisingly quick. The come in stone, igneo, and frost varieties.

[timegears-moved]

getting a lot of people in the notes of my twilight princess post saying that botw and totk are missing that zelda weirdness and charm that was in the older games and while i get that to an extent you're forgetting that botw is the same game that has a npc create his own currency to, and i quote, "destabilize the market and fight the establishment". this npc is also incredibly horny over the monsters. he's my second favourite character in the game. totk introduces his brother who just wants to turn into demigod horse creature which is more normal in comparison and his brother treats him as if he's the weird and unreasonable one. they look like this:

in a world filled with anthropomorphic bird and fish and rock and plant people these two stick out like sore thumbs. genuinely obsessed with them.

[linkscookbook]

IT HAS ARRIVED

To celebrate the anniversary of Tears of the Kingdom's release, and to revisit Hyrule, we have put together a FREE 127-page cookbook zine for fans to enjoy. Link to downloadable PDF at the bottom.

About the Zine

The goal of this zine has been to imagine and capture snapshots of Link and Zelda’s internal and external journey between Breath of the Wild and Tears of the Kingdom. One of the central mechanics in both games is cooking; you cook to stay alive, you cook to improve your abilities, and you cook to forge relationships with other characters through side quests. We wanted to centre this mechanism, so decided to frame the zine as Link and Zelda’s joint travel journal.

In these pages you will therefore find a collection of short stories, small illustrations, and numerous recipes. Our team has been hard at work, collaborating and developing ideas to flesh out Link and Zelda’s journey.

Each short story is written from either Link or Zelda’s perspective. They are part narrative, part journaled notes. You will find that they have been given each their font to represent their writings. Zelda’s is the more refined one, while Link’s is the more sprawling one. I’m sure you will see the difference.

You will also find small notes and letters from other characters – notably Tulin, Teba, Riju, and Kilton – as well as an excerpt from the Lucky Clover Gazette.

The recipes themselves have been fashioned as though they were written by Link and Zelda. This does mean their fonts have been used, but we hope any difficulty in reading it is forgiven on the basis that the overall conceit of the zine is preserved. Should there be a great demand, we may look into creating a second edition using friendlier fonts.

As for the illustrations, these have been created both with the goal of illustrating the dishes – and processes where necessary – and to imply that Link and Zelda also illustrate their journeys.

All our artists, short story writers, and recipe writers have come into this zine with different skills and abilities. There may therefore be subtle differences in styles, which we have chosen to retain to exhibit each contributor’s personal flair.

Finally, I want to thank those who have contributed their time and skills to the creation of this zine: Alex, Cenza, Deldon, Mina, Rose, Sam, Scarlet, Terek, and Mr Theodore. It’s been a pleasure working with you all on this project, and I look forward to the next time our paths cross.

Thank you.

Kalh, Editor, @vagueandominousvibes

Contributors

Alex: No social media.

Cenza: Instagram (cenzadelladonna)

Deldon: Bluesky (deldon)

Mina: @zarvasace ; Ao3 (Zarvasace)

Rose: @jmserebii ; X (gravityroseK)

Sam: @lucky-clover-gazette ; Ao3 (Clicheusername5678)

Scarlet: @charascarlet , @hyrulescarlet ; Ao3 (CharaScarlet)

Terek: @valenthobbies

Mr Theodore: No social media.

Downloads

PDF: Link's Cookbook PDF

Print Files: Print Files Folder (NOTE: Read Print Files Instructions below!)

Print Files Instructions

These files have been formatted for an A5 Linen Wrap individual print through Lulu.com. The current listed price is £24.23 | $30.34 (shipping not included).

To give the illustrations a chance to shine, we recommend printing with Premium Colour on paper 80# White. To get your print copy, follow these steps:

Create an account with Lulu.com. It's completely free. If you already have an account, simply log in.

Go to 'Create' in the top bar and select 'Print Book'.

Click 'Start my Print Book'.

Under 'Select a Goal', choose 'Print Your Book'. Follow the remaining instructions on the page and press 'Design Your Project'.

Under 'Interior File Upload', upload the interior files found in the downloadable Print Files Folder (see above). This should automatically fill in book size and page count.

Under 'Interior Color', choose 'Premium Color'. For a cheaper print, choose 'Standard Color'.

Under 'Paper Type', choose '80# White – Coated'. For a cheaper print, choose '60# White'.

Under 'Book Binding', choose 'Linen Wrap'. The cover has been designed specifically for this and is not compatible with any other binding option.

Select your choice of colour for linen and print. We recommend tan (linen) and gold (print). These are the colours that will be on the linen wrap, underneath the paper cover.

Under 'Cover Finish', select 'Glossy' or 'Matte' according to your preferences. This makes no difference price-wise. We recommend 'Matte'.

Under 'Book Cover Design', upload the cover file found in the downloadable Print Files Folder (see above).

You should now be able to see a preview under 'Book Preview'. Check that you are satisfied with the result and select 'Review Book'. This will take you to a page from which you can order your individual print copy. Due to the size of the file, Lulu may take a few minutes to process the files before you can place the order, but this should take no more than 10 minutes. Simply go have something to eat, then refresh the page when you return and you should be able to order your copy.

Happy cooking!

[junco8]

Meet Atricilla (ay-tree-sil-uh)!

Her name is indeed the species name for the Laughing gull :D Cause I'm a nerd and do too much research behind naming my characters lol

This outgoing Rito travels around Hyrule (sometimes even outside the borders) in search for all different kinds of food to try.

You could say she's a connoisseur for local cuisines. And fashion! And making friends c:

Tbf, everyone is her new favorite person.

Except Kilton.

She frickin hates Kilton >:[

I know, I know, I have too many Zelda characters. They're just so fun to create!

Welcome to the family, nay, collection, Atricilla!

[carrotsnake]

nintendo let you make a ganondorf statue for kilton's monster collection but not the yiga specifically to stop me from making kohganon marriage real

[thunderin-brainstorm]

instead of plotting a fic or writing some drabbles like a normal person I have figured out a version of Liz's story in the form of "playable" side quests so uh. have the first installment of Liz-centered BOTW quests i guess

The Lizalfos Who Learns: after completing the Reach Zora's Domain quest, you can speak to Dunma, a Zora guard, who will tell you about an unusual monster. She's not certain of what she saw, since none of the other guards have seen it and it's difficult to keep track in the chaos of a skirmish, but she thinks she's spotted a particular Electric Lizalfos that runs away instead of fighting like other Lizalfos in the Lanayru Wetlands. She even swears this monster was carrying flowers, not weapons. It’s so odd that it’s actually concerning, but she's never had time to track down this Lizalfos with everything else going on in the Domain.

It's not easy to find, but you can search the Lanayru Wetlands and spot an Electric Lizalfos with flowers tucked into its armor, even without speaking to Dunma beforehand. It's most likely to be out in the open during a Blood Moon, staring up at the sky. If you approach, it will go through the same alert animation as other monsters, but then immediately turn and run away at full speed. You can pursue it or attack it but it won't stop running until it reaches deep water to hide or you kill it, at which point it drops normal Electric Lizalfos loot. It registers as Unusual Lizalfos to the camera with its own Compendium entry:

Lizalfos are known for being smarter than other monsters, but this one acts more cowardly than conniving. It seems to like flowers, and spends a lot of time watching the moon. It runs away whenever it sees a person. With such an unusual reaction, perhaps there is more to this monster than meets the eye?

If you report back to Dunma with a picture at this point, she will wonder how this monster spends its time if it doesn't fight. She's seen it hanging around cooking pots before, but it always ran away before she could tell what it was doing. If only she was a little bit stealthier, or had some kind of disguise. Even a way to track it to tell where it runs off to would be reassuring.

You will need to either dowse for the Unusual Lizalfos with the Slate or manually find and follow it to a cooking pot. Getting close enough to observe will require enhancing your stealth or equipping Kilton's Lizalfos Mask. On new moon nights, the Lizalfos will go to the cooking pot by Soh Kofi Shrine, spending about an hour there before going through a cooking animation at midnight and producing a low-strength Sneaky Elixir. On third quarter or seven-day moon nights, the Lizalfos will go to the cooking pot by Boné Pond, spending about an hour there before going through a cooking animation at midnight and producing a medium-strength Enduring Elixir. On full moon or Blood Moon nights, the Lizalfos will go to the cooking pot due west of Wes Island, spending about an hour there before going through a cooking animation at midnight and producing a high-strength Hasty Elixir. Each time, the Lizalfos will inspect the elixir, look unhappy, and leave, giving you the option of collecting the elixir for yourself.

Once you have observed all three instances, you can report back to Dunma with an explanation of the Lizalfos's activities. She will ponder the significance of a monster trying its hand at cooking. Although it's concerning, she ultimately dismisses it as nonthreatening, since the Lizalfos didn't take and use any of the elixirs it made. If it's trying to imitate people, clearly it's doing a poor job of it. She will thank you and reward you with 50 rupees, ending this first side quest.

FIRST || next >>

[totkdaily]

Day 49: Hateno School, Secrets, and History

In the morning, I report back to Sophie. She says Cece loves the plain, slow life here. She thinks Cece and Reede want the same things. I should speak to him. 

On the way to the inn I speak with Leop. He and his son-in-law Worten like things simple, but his daughter Prima loves Cece. This thing really is tearing families apart.

Worten and Prima run the inn. Prima's nagging him to wear a Cece hat, so he's hiding on the veranda. 

I find Hateno's Goddess statue and grab stamina to make two even circles. I should probably collect some hearts next time. 

At the Mayor's House I chat to Clavia, his wife. Reede's got a secret shed and she wants to know why. He goes in at midday, apparently. 

I wonder if the nearby wells would get me under the shed, but then I see Reede's daughter heading to the school and I decide I'd like to see it.

It's a beautifully cheerful building, one of Hudson's I think.

Symin is advertising for teachers on the board outside! Is he here? 

Symin! 

As good as it is to see old friends, I don't enjoy having to tell yet another person that I came back without Zelda. 

He says the Princess built this school.

There's a notebook upstairs with evaluations - Symin's addressed them to Zelda. 

Aster, Medda's daughter. Active, loves her father, likes tomatoes, optimistic. 

Karin, the mayor's daughter. Kind but shy, not confident but perceptive. Loves maths and helping her father, may one day be a scholar. 

Azu, Ivee's brother, Amira's son. AKA A-Zoom, hero. Used to be best friends with Sefaro but Sefaro is now busy at the dye shop. 

Sefaro, Sayge's son. Firebrand, but bright. Reads adult books and about the Calamity. 

They sound like a great group of kids.

Symin writes that he had some kind of premonition before the Upheaval - he felt it before the Calamity also. He hopes the Princess will be safe with me at her side. 

Well. That didn't work. I failed. 

I sit in on Symin's Calamity lesson. He reminds me that there was another Princess and another Swordsman 10,000 years ago, with a Sword that Seals the Darkness. 

It sets me to thinking. How long ago were the Zonai, exactly? Was that Zelda, the Princess from 10,000 years ago? In which case, who exactly was the hero? 

The kids don't even believe the story. I nip back to Kakariko for a picture of the screen they have that depicts those events. 

I should know my history better. Symin says the 10,000 years ago Calamity involved the Sheikah and the Divine Beasts. Zelda's gone even further back than that... but even then, there was a Princess, a Sword, and an Ancient Hero. 

It's so strange to be standing here as Symin recounts the events of our Calamity. The loss of the Champions, Zelda's power, my healing sleep… 

Azu wants to be like the ancient hero - he's even wearing green. 

The next lesson is home economics. What does Goron spice, Hylian rice and monster extract make? The kids don't believe you can eat monster extract. Kilton's the only guy I know who sells it, and he said he was going to Tarrey Town… Maybe I should head over that way once I'm finished here and fetch some, so the kids can give it a try. 

Now, Reede's secret shed. The tunnels under the wells are incredibly convoluted - but if there's a bubbulfrog, I can't find it. I do, however, manage to ascend into Reede's shed and read his journal. 

He's trying to breed a new pumpkin. Him and Nack are working on a Cece-inspired pumpkin to appeal to the youth.

I go and speak to Reede, and it seems that the new pumpkin is only half of his plan. The other half is to bring back an old taste that his grandfather collaborated on… is he talking about cheese? Because I already helped Koyin make cheese, days ago. I give him the sample Koyin gave me. He gives me 100 rupees for it, to be fair. 

I catch Clavia on her way to bed and tell her about the secret pumpkin - she gives me some tomatoes in return. 

Speaking of Koyin… I don't think she was wearing a Cece hat. I climb the hill and give her and her dad mushrooms. Dantz reminds me of his need for acorns, so I head into the forest for some squirrel hunting. It takes me the night to find one.

[mistresslrigtar]

Chapter Fifteen: That's My Shirt (written for Zelinktines 24 day 15 prompt) It's a longer one today, but still under 1K 😬

Read below or HERE

As Link and Zelda are finishing breakfast a few days later, Grantéson stops by on the way to his stall with a letter from Hudson, requesting Link’s assistance once more with the skating rink. She doesn’t miss the light that comes to Link’s eyes at the prospect of trying out Hudson’s improved invention, and Zelda insists she can handle things around the house while he’s gone.

Unlike the last few times he’s left her to her own devices, she has every intention of clearing away the breakfast, tidying up the kitchen, and tackling the laundry that’s piled up. After he leaves she sits at the table a few moments longer sipping her cooling tea and gazing out at the hazy horizon, where the deep blue of the Akkala Ocean meets the pale blue of the clear sky. It’s beautiful here, peaceful and quiet, but also lonely, and Zelda has to wonder why Link chose this location. She’s never thought to ask until today and is glad for the company of their latest addition.

Speaking of the devil, as Kilton would say, and recalling how the diminutive man had seemed genuinely frightened of the fuzzy, white kitten, Zelda ducks her head beneath the table to find her licking her mouth. 

“Has Link been feeding you bacon under the table again, Celeste?”

The kitten’s answering ‘chirrup’ is followed by her pouncing on Zelda’s bare toes, before scrambling up her leg, attempting to claw her way onto Zelda’s lap. 

“Ouch, Celeste!” Zelda giggles, plucking the kitten from her shin before Celeste’s tiny claws can pierce her skin and sets her on her lap. Rubbing the kitten roughly behind the ears, as Zelda and Link have discovered she likes, Celeste squeezes her eyes shut and lifts her chin to give Zelda better access.

“He’ll be back later,” Zelda assures. “In the meantime, let’s wash the dirty clothes.”

Pushing her chair back, Zelda carries Celeste upstairs to her bedroom and drops the kitten on top of the garments in her hamper. She carries it to Link’s room to collect the clothes from the basket in the corner. When she opens the lid, her breath catches, seeing his original Champion’s tunic balled up on top. Even though she made him a new one, he hasn’t been able to part with this one, and still wears it on occasion.

Zelda shakes out the threadbare garment, that after a century and everyday wear and tear, has seen better days. The color has faded to a pastel blue and the darns in the elbows can be seen. Holding it to her nose, Zelda breathes in the essence of him, a fine mix of sweet grass, leather, and wood smoke, and closes her eyes recalling their recent kiss in the garden. It had opened a floodgate of feelings that had been as exhilarating as they had been overwhelming. She now finds herself longing to pick up where they left off but knows Link is right to take things slowly.

With a reluctant sigh, she tosses it on top of Celeste, who growls her displeasure before jumping out of the basket. Adding the rest of Link’s clothes, Zelda hauls the now full and cumbersome basket downstairs and outside to the well.

While Zelda retrieves the washtub and soap from beside the paddock where the horses doze, Celeste dives into the basket once more to burrow in the clothes. Dragging the tub across the lawn, Zelda fills it with water from the well, pulls Celeste from the pile, and sorts the clothes into light and dark piles. The kitten slows down the process by continually pouncing in the basket, pulling out garments, swatting at Zelda as she tries to retrieve items, and making her laugh. Eventually, Zelda triumphs over the little beast and finishes sorting. She begins washing the clothes, scrubbing, wringing, and hanging them on the line. 

Soon enough she becomes immersed in the work, humming and contemplating what she could make for dinner if she has the energy. She’s just hanging the last pair of trousers when she hears Link calling her name before he appears around the corner of the house. Zelda peers over the line she’s pulled down to pin the waistband and beams at the bewildered look on his face.

“Surprised?”

“Very.” He walks over and kisses her temple, and Zelda feels a pleasant flush warm her cheeks at his touch. “This must have taken you all day.”

“I enjoyed it, actually.” It felt good to be contributing more and not simply existing. “Celeste helped.”

Link grins and Zelda’s heart flip-flops in her chest at the sight. Since their brief discussion and adopting Celeste, he’s been in better spirits.

“Where is she?” He looks around the washtub and in the empty basket.

“I’m not sure, I lost track of time,” Zelda admits, becoming worried.

“She’ll come when it’s dinner. I’ll feed the horses and then we can go inside, okay?” He heads to the paddock, where Star and Epona whinny greetings. Epona nudges his shoulder, and Link fondly rubs her nose. Zelda follows after him to retrieve the fresh water bucket.

Link is pulling the oats bag down from a shelf when he looks down. “What the…” Trailing off, he leaves the bag and crouches down. “Zelda, that’s my shirt.”

“What?” Zelda moves to stand behind him and begins giggling when she sees Celeste curled up on top of the Champion’s tunic. “Oh my!”

Shaking his head, Link reaches out to scratch Celeste behind the ears. She cracks her eyes open and begins purring, tiny paws kneading the pale blue fabric beneath her. “I guess this is a sign I need to let that old shirt go.”

Zelda kneels behind him, draping her arms over his chest to rest her chin on his shoulder. Her heart swells when he leans into her embrace and covers her hands with one of his own.

[hydrangeyes]

Unnamed

So if you don't know, Yes this already existed, my old account was deleted (accident but I can tell I won't be getting it back), and am reposting my old x male reader works!

I don't know if I saved all of them but here is one that was saved to my AO3 account.

Edit: So shuffling through my docs It's been brought to my attention that wattpad (who I use as backup) Cut a lot of my fics in half??? anyway I'll be trying to fix that also

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Edit Nov.8.2023:

*Looks everywhere but at you* it..it was going to be pwp.

Botw link x male lynel hybrid

Warning: kinda slow burn, romance is there????, it is, courting, violence, slight misunderstanding, belly bulge, big dick, cum play, ass eating, blow jobs, pet play, overstimulation, nipple play/light torture, somniphilia, crying, light angst, public sex, voyeurism, switch link, switch oc, updated as I write lmao, this is pretty slice of life tbh, just with porn, ruts/heats, This is some wild shit, Wow google search please don’t 

Are you telling me lynel's exist and someone hasn't once thought "maybe 👀 these centaur babes can get it?" Cause I honestly don't believe that.

================================================

Chapter 1: I love Chabi, I feel like she would be a gremlin.

Note: Puuuuuure self-indulgence. Like listen my brain went brrrrrrrrr, this is for fellow monsterfuckers

Traveling after fighting Ganon all at once was rather...fun. Maybe it’s because he went straight to the source of evil and somehow lucked out. And now don’t have a sense of urgency to get to that end goal. The collecting of his memories happened right after as well and by then the princess herself wanted to truly rest up before traveling with him.

He didn’t like the thought of leaving her behind, but he felt a little more at ease that at least she would be staying with Purah for the time being.

Link shivers as he tugs up the fur around his neck. Snowfield was feeling extra chilly for some reason.  He moves a little faster, shuffling through his pockets as he ate one of his emergency peppers. Imagine his relief when he sees the stable just up ahead with a few of the tiny town’s stacked together houses.

“Ah, link!” A voice calls to him once he steps in. The tavern/horse stable wasn’t too packed thank goodness but there was a familiar face. Chabi grins waving at the surprised Hylian.

Chabi and he became pretty good friends after the handful of times Link has saved her as well as traded monster parts with her. She mainly stuck to warmer places and just barely the edges of goron city. It seemed she was acting as an in-between for Kilton and fellow travelers. But being so far from the usual land she would circle in?

“Chabi? A bit far from the base aren’t you?” Link said softly with gesturing to the whole thick woven sweater she was in. Giggling chabi smirks puffing out her chest. “Call me the official Monster tradesman! I’ve started traveling a little further out for those rare materials. Kilton even gifted me with some weapons that’ll protect me better!” she starts up, gesturing him to join her at the little table she was sitting at.

“And so I thought why not start the one place I know the boss doesn’t care to visit. He doesn’t like the cold, he says it makes his feet clammy.”

Link holds back the many questions that pop up in his head about that. Best to store that away with the other questions he has under Kilton’s name. “I..see. So Snowfield was your first stop or?”

“Hm? OH no hehe. Rather some interesting rumors brought me here.”

Feeling like this will be a long one Link waves over a barmaid to buy some spicy curry and hopefully a few fish skewers. Maybe buy a bed for the night as well, just in case, the others get taken.

---------------------------------------------------------

“-And so there I was! Hearing about a lynel wandering between the mountains and near the ruins! And oh I just had to see for myself, maybe ask for a few loose fangs or toenails you know?”

“No. I don’t know.” Link muttered into his drink. It felt like hours since she started this story, before finally getting to the point. He learned way more about how to skin mokoblin guts than he wished. Anyway- “I doubt they would give you a fang but what’s this about it traveling to the ruins?” As far as Link knew most lynels up here were feral or didn’t live anywhere close to the ruins.

“Well, which ruins now that I think about it…” Link asks as Chabi finishes up the last fish skewer. 

“Mhh, Well I say ruins but really it’s the forgotten temple.”

Now that got his attention. What could a lynel want in that guardian-ridden place??? Link frowns leaning back o think about it. That temple of any was the most dangerous and well...Link couldn’t help but feel a little responsible since he didn’t exactly break down the guardians still in there. He was still getting the hang of dealing with those, much less the mobile ones.

The thought of those stalkers since a bone-deep type over shiver. “Why don’t you let me check out if the rumors are true or not. I know you can take on a hoard of bokoblins but even when they’re going easy on you lynels are tough, and rather approach you than vice versa.”

Chabi yawns pouting a bit, sleep probably just now getting to her. “Mm, I suppose. If you can leave them a welcoming message to trade with me please?” she half pleads and half demands. Link nods getting up for a stretch, absolutely happy that she didn’t stop him. He was ready to collapse on the nearest free bed. “I will, soon as I get up I’ll head on over okay?

“Link if I wasn’t so devoted to the boss, I could just kiss you right now!”

“Please don’t.”

------------------------------------------------------

End Notes:

Basing a lot of this on my 3 playthroughs of botw. And I played them chaotically, as well as just overall making some things up. I kinda want there to be a lot more people in the botw world, like stables have small villages of their own (tarrey town size at least).

 I have a whole dnd esc Au for this where most monsters have their own tribes etc. but lynels, Lizalfos, and maybe wizzrobes interact with humanoids and trade with them. Except for maybe wizzrobes, I feel like they’re more steal your shit and bargain it back, type people.

This issss planned to be very long like, there’s a whole courting arc I have in mind, If you’re here just for the porn, it’ll be marked.

Anyway, this will all probably be unedited and sloppy. It’s for fun and the chapter lengths will probably vary as well. Idk why but I like the thought of the monster appreciators hooking us best friends (or partners) and link is just there, rethinking his life choices. 

But again real talk I right this whenever my mind gets staticy so please excuse any grammar issues, the many run-on sentences, etc etc 👍

--------------------------------------------

Chapter 2: O-oh someone fucked a Lynel.

If there's one thing he loved about the snowy areas it was waking up to fresh snow in the morning or nights.

Breathing in that crisp air and starting his journey. Link rubs his cold cheeks, face a bit flushed.

But Chiba woke him up first thing and he will admit he was also wondering about this traveling lynel. The locals (at least the ones up) all mentioned how the lynel kept to themselves, and only came to buy directly from the farmer.

Makes him wonder if the lynel was checking out the area to maybe start up a new home. Shaking his head Link focused on climbing the hill and not sliding off. 

[watermelinoe]

i think totk improved on botw in a lot of ways but i also still had the same issues w it that i did w botw and it had new issues as well (the inventory was a nightmare, armor upgrade reqs were ridiculous, too many collectible-based quests esp the fucking hudson signs)

but my biggest complaint was that even with a storyline that i personally found more interesting, there is just zero connection to it at all. botw and totk feel like revenge for skyward sword being so emotional, linear, and story-driven (iirc miyamoto was not happy with its direction and he and aonuma (?) were just undoing each other's work which is partly why the game suffers from repetition)

so now we get zero emotional attachment to anything that's going on except in cutscenes that aren't even required and have no visible impact on link in any way. hardly any of the sidequests feel meaningful, and the ones that could have been always seemed to fall short. the npcs seem weirdly chipper about the gloom spreading, the ground splitting open, and the earth levitating into the sky. many of them that should remember you just... don't, for some reason, like there's so little development in any of link's relationships with any of these people, zelda included, as if he hasn't even existed for the past eight years between games, like what was with the hateno village retconning

my personal favorite quests were awakening the fairy fountains (felt like classic zelda and i liked that it made a permanent impact on the world, even rewarding you with a permanent new rendition of epona's song at every stable), giving all the bubbul gems to koltin (you have to go out of your way to talk to his brother kilton to get the full kinda bittersweet ending and it's a rare touching moment imo), and the balloon thing with rhondson and hudson's daughter (i liked that it actually expanded on a questline from botw and it was also bittersweet), also i liked penn and the newspaper questline

the biggest improvement imo was the shrines, the puzzles were so much more interesting with so many possible solutions, and the temples/bosses were so much better than the divine beasts and stupid scourges

but idk i just... feel like i wanted more from it. to me the story is just as important as the gameplay and tbh in both games link feels so detached from the plot, like it's just happening around him, not to him. and you can argue that in the older games they didn't explore his emotional state or w/e but the narratives were tight enough that you felt immersed anyway, and could project your own feelings onto him. these games actively thwart your attempts to humanize the silent protagonist bc he's more emotional about fucking cooking than about being manipulated by a creepy puppet of the woman he's been with for 8+ years at this point (should've made puppet zelda a boss again smh) or seeing memories of people dying horribly

all of which is too far spaced out between, idk, grinding for lionel parts

with the world as big as it is, nothing in it is allowed to be too big and i'm concerned that this is just what zelda games are going to be like from now on. i hope the next project announced will be something completely different.

[kiltons-collection]

Dragons

Dragons are the very essence of an element, born into the world to maintain balance. They cannot be killed, and are not malicious, though their sheer power and size sometimes accidentally harms those who stray too near.

There are three known dragons in Hyrule.

Dinraal

The spirit of fire can be seen roaming the skies in the Eldin region and Tabantha Frontier, and serves the Spring of Power.

Best viewing location

The cliffs directly above the Eldin Great Skeleton at 9 am.

Naydra

The spirit of ice graces the skies of the Mount Lanayru area, and serves the Spring of Wisdom.

Best viewing location

The cliffs overlooking Lanayru Bay at 6 am and 9 pm.

Farosh

The spirit of lightning primarily travels around Lake Floria's waterfalls and Lake Hylia, and serves the Spring of Courage.

Best viewing location

Riola Spring at 5 am.

[duckapus]

While whichever agent got assigned to preparing the first MRU universe could've (and probably should've) just picked either BotW or TotK, they were an overachiever, and remembered that they could copy over their horses from a completed BotW save to TotK, and at that point it hadn't yet been decided yet which game would get picked. Soooo they completed both and went a little insane doing so.

Keep in mind they had to set it up so there would be absolutely no updates, which includes making sure there can be no more New Item Textboxes, so they actually had to go a little bit beyond the actual 100% completion.

Here's what they had to do to get all this done:

Before Starting

Find copies of both games that have the potential to become living universes when exposed to Meme Energy.

Purchase the DLC for Breath of the Wild and acquire compatible Amibo

Make sure to play them in order so the horses can be transferred.

Breath of the Wild

Complete all 15 Main Quests

Complete all 76 Side Quests

Find and complete all 120 Shrines

Find and activate all 15 Sheikah Towers

Complete all 5 DLC Main Quests and all 14 DLC Side Quests

Collect all 999 Korok Seeds and give them to Hestu to get all inventory upgrades and The Golden Turd

Find and restore all four Great Fairies and the Horse God

Acquire and fully upgrade all the Sheikah Slate's Runes

Acquire and fully upgrade all 107 Armor Pieces

Recover all 23 Memories

Create all 190 Recipes at least once each

Complete all 389 entries in the Hyrule Compendium and get the Classified Envelope from Symin (note: due to the existence of Gold enemies and Sky Octoroks, this requirement means they had to play in Master Mode)

Speak to the Horned Statue at least once

Find every landmark so their names show up on the map

Summon Epona and Wolf Link at least once each

Defeat All 40 Taluses, all 40 Hinoxes, and all 4 Moldugas at leas once each and get their Medals of Honor from Kilton

Acquire all 12 Horse Armor Pieces

Pick up all 122 Melee Weapons, 25 Bows, 31 Shields, and 8 Amiibo Equipment Items at least once each

Pick up all 173 Materials at least once each

Pick up all 7 types of Rupee at least once each

This wasn't strictly necessary but they also made sure to ride every mountable animal at least once as a personal challenge

Tears of the Kingdom

Import horses from Breath of the Wild

Complete all 23 Main Quests

Complete all 60 Side Adventures

Complete all 139 Side Quests

Complete all 152 Shrines and loot all their treasure chests

Find and Activate all 15 Skyview Towers

Find and Activate all 120 Lightroots

Collect all 1000 Korok seeds and give them to Hestu to get all the inventory upgrades and the Golden Turd

Find and activate the Horse God

Acquire all the Right Arm Abilities and Purah Pad features

Find all 20 Sage's Wills and use them to fully upgrade all 5 Sages

Visit every landmark on all three layers to put their names or icons on the map (this includes chasms, caves, and wells)

Help Addison support all 81 Huddson Signs

Acquire 50 Pony Points and get all the rewards

Collect all 147 Bubbul Gems and give them to Koltin to get all the rewards

Fully upgrade the Energy Cell

Acquire all 31 Old Maps

Acquire all 46 Autobuild Schematics

Acquire and fully upgrade all 135 Armor pieces

Acquire at least 1 Sleepover Ticket

Acquire all 12 Horse Armor Pieces and the Towing Harness

Defeat all 35 Flux Constructs, 68 Hinoxes, 87 Taluses, 40 Frox, 13 Gleeoks, and 4 Moldugas and get their Monster Medals

Defeat the Dungeon Boss Rematches in the Depths

View all 18 Memories (including fining all 12 Dragon Tears)

Acquire all 29 regularly available Paraglider Fabrics and all 24 Amiibo-exclusive fabrics

Summon Epona at least once

Complete all 509 entries in the Hyrule Compendium

Cook all 228 Recipes (including inventing Pizza and going to the ends of the earth just to boil an egg)

Pick up all 7 types of Rupee at least once

Pich up all 3 levels of Poe at least once

Pick up all 3 levels of Crystalized Charges at least once

Pick up all 27 Zonai Device Capsules at least once

Pick up all 81 Melee Weapons (plus the 31 Intact variants of the decayed weapons), 30 Bows, and 33 Shields at least once, as well as every possible weapon and shield fusion because those cause the new item popup! No I am not counting them all there is a limit to my insanity. They can at least skip the Marbled Rock Roast Fusions because those disappear as part of the story before you can even get a certain weapon.

Pick up all 254 Materials at least once

They're up to their riding shenanigans again so they rode everything even though they really didn't have to

[st-hedge]

this might count as a spoiler for totk (and you might have heard it already) but i wanted to share :) if you show kilton pictures of ganondorf after completing the monstrous collection side adventure he'll make them into statues to display in tarrey town!

I knew about this! And it’s the only reason I’ll actually do the house quest oTL but I also need to go and get my ass kicked while taking pictures (not that I mind) cuz I was too distracted the first time

[loquaciousquark]

BotW & TotK Stream Archive

As I'm wrapping up Tears of the Kingdom, I wanted to again collect the streams & descriptions here as a resource for myself. The Breath of the Wild streams do not yet have summaries either on Twitch or here, but will soon. Probably. Eventually.

Breath of the Wild: Link to Master Playlist

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Part 9

Part 10

Part 11

Part 12

Part 13

Part 14

Part 15

Part 16

Part 17

Part 18 - Story Finale

Part 19 - 900th Korok Seed, remaining side quests

Tears of the Kingdom: Link to Master Playlist

Part 1 - landing in Hyrule, leaving Hyrule, exploring the skylands, acquiring Ultrahand, Fuse, and Ascend abilities.

Part 2 - finishing the fourth prologue shrine, returning to Hyrule, some minor exploration, meeting Purah, seeing Zelda briefly, unlocking the first tower, receiving the glider, and fighting the first block construct.

Part 3 - exploring Hyrule, killing baby's first Battle Talus, clearing the Popla Tower, exploring the jungle, clearing the Sahasro Tower, clearing a handful of shrines, meeting Naydra (again), and visiting Hateno Village & Link's house.

Part 4 - exploring Hateno Village, reaching the depths for the first time, more shrines, Bringing Peace to Hyrule, STRUGGLING with a pinball shrine, opening more towers, the first geoglyph, meeting Sonia, meeting Hestu, exploring Rito caves, beginning Tulin's quest.

Part 5 - completing the Rito/Tulin questline, tower exploration, opening the first fairy fountain, shrines, more tower openings.

Part 6 - Direct continuation of previous part (lost connection briefly). Shrines & towers.

Part 7 - Features tower completion, a bunch of shrines, reaching Kakariko.

Part 8 - Features exploring Kakariko Village & completing various side quests, both in Kakariko and beyond.

Part 9 - Features koroks, a handful of shrines, the second Stable Trotters quest, a little Depths exploration, more shrines, resoliving the Hateno Village mayoral question, the Lanayru Penn quest, the Lanayru Hinox Brothers quest, and more shrines. Ends with reaching the Zora Domain.

Part 10 - Features shrines, reaching Hebra's fossil, baby's second geoglyph, Kilton, finally finding Hestu, reuniting with Sidon, the Zora/Sidon quest & temple resolution, more shrines, discovering the Dark Statue & the Soldier's Armor, discovering and pursuing the Light Dragon, recovering the item held by the Light Dragon, the Johsa Depths quest, first Frox fight, touching the Desert Oasis, and acquiring the final Purah Pad upgrade/Robbie's lab.

Part 11 - Features shrines, the last Purah Pad upgrades, all geoglyphs in a terribly wrong order, the Oasis/Riju fight, more shrines (including making Moose very sad around 2:30), more Penn stable quests, gliding dive challenges, the final Dragon's Tear (5:20), the third fairy quest (7:08), the first Gleeok fight, exploring Hyrule castle a little, reaching the Korok grove & the Deku tree, and a battery upgrade.

Part 12 - Features ancient Hyrulean stone slabs, some shrine quests, school with Link, more shrines, meeting Rhondson and Hudson again at Tarrey Town, a beautiful sendoff for Mattison at 2:45, beginning to build a house, more school with Link, the Hebra colossal fossil, more shrines, the Yiga at Rhoam's house, more shrines, and destroying the monsters at Lurelin Village.

Part 13 - Features restoring Lurelin Village, more exploration of the Great Plateau, some chasm exploration. Power dipped out at end of video; directly continued in the next.

Part 14 - Features more chasm exploration, shrines, the sanctuary at Gerudo Town, and the Lightning Temple.

Part 15 - Features shrines, the first labyrinth, more Hyrulean stone plinths, more Yiga clan infiltration, the last fairy quest, and the first pumpkin harvest from Hateno.

Part 16 - Features the King Gleeok fight, shrines, the Yiga chasms quest events, the lynel gauntlet coliseum, a few more Lurelin quests, the Tarrey town race, more shrines, Gerudo desert exploration, more shrines. Power again interrupted at the end.

Part 17 - Features the Zonaite Forge Island, showing off the completed house, meeting Koltin again, completing the last Yiga clan missions, shrines, the horse trailer race, catching the big white horse, the Kilton diorama, more labyrinths, more shrines, the Goddess statue of courage, completing the Gerudo Town ball quest & Eighth Heroine questlines.

Part 18 - Features shrine quests, visiting Hestu, completing the quests surrounding the Deku Tree (including the two shrine quests), the Temple of Time glider fabric quest, Sayge's dyes, some Goron City sidequests including the marbled rock roast fetch and Simmerstone Spring, and the leadup to the Fire Temple and Death Mountain. Power again goes out at the end.

Part 19 - Very brief part thanks to power outages, but includes the reveal and fight of the first Death Mountain miniboss.

Part 20 - Immediate pickup after the internet outage of the previous part. Features the Fire Temple, some armor collection quests, some shrines, house show-off again, return to Lookout Landing, and storming Hyrule Castle.

Part 21 - Features shrines, picking up a few Goron City quests, investigating the Ring Ruins, the follow-up river quest with Tauro, exploring the Thunderhead Isles, completing the Construct Factory quest sequence, regrouping with Purah, the final shrines of the game, a few sidequests in Lurelin Village, and a few sidequests in Goron City.

Part 22 - Features a handful of side adventures (including Hateno's Sun Pumpkin defense and the Bring Peace! series of quests), endgame, and about an hour of thoughts/final discussion afterwards.

Part 23 - 900th Korok Seed, final Bubbulgem, final Addison, final glider fabrics. Coming soon!

[gensnix]

Welp I’ve completed totk and it’s been about a month so I’d like to give my silly little thoughts on it

I’ll put my thoughts in category's things I enjoyed, moments that made me lose my mind, and of course things I hate

spoilers below obvs

Enjoyed

The game plays so good! You can do just about anything you can think of. They definitely set a new bar for quality. oh those poor future game designers 

the title “legend of zelda” actually works this time lol

There’s sooo many little details in this game it makes me happy

they added more speech bubbles for npcs depending on what is happening 

I love the new characters! Makes Hyrule more alive

Yona is so kind and pretty she even fixed Link’s zora armor! 

Penn my writing partner that whole side adventure was fun and hilarious. 

Mattison! MY GODDAUGHTER I LOVE THAT ENTIRE FAMILY.  

Gomo helped me make my first $1000 so I’m legally obliged to kiss him on his head.

Tauro another history nerd. I like his dynamic with Paya!

I love the constructs all of them. The fact that they were made so long ago and yet still fulfill the roles they were made for make me sad. Plus the fact they actively miss the people who made them and wish for company adds to the sadness 

I liked how they upped the difficulty of the shrines I’ll admit I had to look some of them up and then eminently get humbled by some of them 

same with fixing some of the towers I’m embarrassed by the one that had weapons jamming the door 

Anything that happens in Tarrey town. 

Helping the hudson family prepare a great departure gift for their daughter? Beautiful

The dream house? Amazing 

The fact you can take a pic of Mattison and show it to Rhondson and Hudson to cheer them up? Literal tears in my eyes

THE FACT THAT KILTON IS THERE AND WANTS PEOPLE TO LIKE MONSTERS AND IT’S WORKING?? Priceless     

The lurelin village quest! Link saved an entire village and helped rebuild it and they give him the greatest rewards 

The fact that Link can join the yiga clan. Yea fuck that Link guy I can’t stand his short blond ass Glory to Master Kohga

As you can probably tell I really like the side quests 

I adored all the boss fights from slamming my face into ice to fighting against Shiver splatoon. 

Gohma it’s good to see you again. 

I really enjoyed the gibdo queen fight my only regret is not getting the sand boots before the fight 

speaking of gibdos I was kinda sad they weren’t redeads but then I remembered Oh yea the royal family made redeads not ganondorf

And of course the best fight(s) ever MASTER KOGHA! GLORY BE TO HIM! I knew that guy wasn’t dead and I don’t think he’s dead after that last fight either bros got cartoon logic on his side. The fights weren’t hard but I liked seeing Link get run over

The ganondorf fights were AMAZING when his health bar took over all the way to the side of the screen I burst out giggling.

THE DEPTHS 

I LOVE THE DEPTHS I HAVE EVERY LIGHTROOT DONE I LIVE THERE NOW SO SORRY HYRULE I CAN NOT SAVE YOU FOR I AM IN UNDERTALE AND COLLECTING CLOTHES OF PAST HEROS

The addition of caves and wells is nice 

The well in Kakariko even has blood on the walls down there <3 great call back. 

but no demon from hell trying to drag you under just a cutie patootie learning to cook for her family 

the fact that there's an underground gerudo cemetery right under the ruins of Arbiter's grounds a bit fucked up but it’s another great call back 

the fact we got something about zora ages and how gorons are born. 

Lose my mind

The fact that a good portion of the constructs names are fucking Steward I call some of them Stewies 

Purah pad... sounds like a hygiene product 

The lady that calls Link a freak then sees he’s attractive and gives him an egg

Actually I feel like there’s even more people that find Link attractive from botw 

the dick riding from the sign dude is crazy 

The fact when Zelda said “Link you must come find me” and I followed up with “Why don’t you try to find me”... shouldn’t have said that 

Misko WHO IS THIS PERSON WHY DID THEY HAVE ALL THIS STUFF

IT’S BECAUSE OF MISKO I CAN’T TELL WHAT’S CANON AND WHAT’S NOT WHY DID THEY MENTION THE FIERCE DEITY SO CASUAL AND HOW THEY KNOW I HAVE THE FULL SET OF SOMETHING TO GET ANOTHER REWARD

The fucking Cece side adventure 

The entirety of Goron City. I swear Regandorf has something against Gorons first he was feeding them to a dragon in oot NOW HE’S GIVING THEM CRACK ROCKS

AND HE GOT MY BOI YUNOBO MAJORA’S MASKED 

zora’s domain more like Delfino Plaza 

And now I’m in Splatoon!

BLOND! NO ABS! NOT A VAI!

Riju still needs her high chair for her throne!! 

the memories are ok but because you can get any of them whenever spoiled some shit. Like Sonia dying and Zelda turning into a dragon I didn’t even know there was a forth dragon until the final memory I just picked up the flowers and said “Welp i don’t know how to fix this”

the end of the bluepee quest for Kolton THAT left me speechless 

in fact WHAT IS WITH THIS GAME AND MAKING PEOPLE EAT GEMS

“Link I pray...” GIRL YOU NEED TO STOP PRAYING IT’S CLEAR THE GODS DO NOT LIKE YOU

Above every bargainer statue is a goddess statue and that is cool and has some lore implications 

Link suffering from the Tony hawk affect and how is zelda not How did they convince all of hyrule she’s the princess  

Jumping monsters with the avatars 

the sages mask making me think of majora’s mask 

Hate

I’ll be up front about it right now I have not a single care about this story’s main plot which is sad cause it had a great opening 

look as a gamer totk is great but as a lore enthusiast I’m going insane 

i like the timeline and I’m never expecting the games to perfectly line up I mean cmon most of the games take in-between hundreds to thousands of years there ain’t no way

but to me totk doesn’t like a retcon of the timeline. it feels like a retcon of botw 

 I’ve always held onto the theory that botw takes place in a world where the timelines finally become one. 

And I’m aware nintendo wanted to make it friendly to new players who didn’t play botw but... it’s a sequel 

Don’t give me the whole “Majora’s mask is a sequel to OOT and those two are def different games” Cause 1 those games are over 20 years old so it’s not a sin to want a zelda game with a sequel that actually feels like one ( I ain’t ever forgiving nintendo for cancelling the tp sequel) and 2 totk takes feeling like a different game to the extreme by literally getting rid of parts that happened in botw

it literally contradicts it's self all the damn time

if Link is always with Zelda why does know one recognize him he’s on the missing poster with her cause everyone knows the princess 

the disappearance of almost all sheika tech feels genially insulting 

the fact that they just sideline the sheika in general is fucking insulting 

the shrines?? the towers?? Cherry, Robbie’s most prized possession being reduced into something so small and now only has photos?!?! 

THE DIVINE BEASTS????MY SLATE?!?! THE FUCKING SHRINE OF RESERECTION 

And I know the running theory is that they went back underground or repurposed but do you know how much tech that is? to just take down somehow and then not see it any more the most you see is the guardians legs in the towers 

Only like 2 maybe 3 people commented on Link’s fucked up arm and in the end he doesn’t even keep it! Rauru literally said it was unsalvageable

and at the end Zelda is just... fine Like no scaring or anything just saved by two ghosts who I didn’t think could do that 

I hate the zonai I didn’t really think of them in botw cause I thought it’s just another tribed that helped 10,000 years ago and died out but noped they went from being a warrior tribe to god like beings who lived in the sky

they are the biggest inconsistencies and are just the ancient sheika with new coat of paint and for some reason there’s only two of them now 

Honestly to me they kinda sound like colonizers and the fact there are minning facilities everywhere in the depths doesn’t help

Also Rauru your plan to seal Ganondorf failed! Twice!

And ganondorf what was your plan exactly why did you do all this I’ve seen better villain backstories in Splatoon and Kirby. This whole story is just black and white

Don’t think I didn’t notice how you changed the labyrinths Nintendo those bars on the floor weren’t there before 

the fact Yunobo isn’t using daruk’s protection 

The thunder helm is missing?? One of the gerudo’s most important piece of culture. a vital part of botw story too. Like yea you can get a copy from the yiga but where’s the real thing

Rito village... what did they do to you 

No mention of Revali 

The weirdest personality changes

the fact that they just sidelined Teba. you know the forth person to help you with the divine beasts an absolute powerhouse in aoc. the guy to be described as crazy and rude but knows his worth. Revali’s biggest fan??

Nope give the job to Tulin the character it seems alot of people didn’t know existed in botw. “Over shadowed by his dad” kid was like 5 and all he did was watch Link and Teba train and suddenly he’s hot shit with a never before seen magic ability that he just has 

I liked rito village cause it’s two main character from their had to train to get to where they were

Like Tulin’s ok but it’s bad story telling you telling me all the new champs are now leaders of their respected societies but Teba is the only one to get sidelined (don’t give me the whole but in “age of calamity...” a noncanon game shouldn’t be used for a main story and if that would be the case the new champions fighting styles should be just like that game then) 

Also I can’t tell how many years have passed cause why is Molli (Harth’s kid) Still small I thought Tulin and her where around the same age 

Kass not being in the story obviously takes the game down to a 7/10 :(

And yea I’m aware that some people think he’ll be in a dlc later but that’s not an excuse for him not being in the base game.

Zora’s domain is exactly as I expected it to be but man Sidon you really are just here to be eye candy his ability sucks

god Sidon Teba you two used to be so blood thirsty in age of calamity what happened 

why the fuck is it called gloom it’s always been malice and why did it only effect weapons and not the bows and shields 

Speaking off where did the elemental weapons go? the different arrows? No one talks about them did Nintendo really get rid of them for the fused ability. they could have just added more power to them if you matched the elements right 

The sages are just diet champions and I can’t tell, especially with the direction it seems to be going, if they have the same names as the sages in oot/ww cause in the zora murals you can read they talk about the sage Ruto in both games and we all thought they were talking about oot ruto falling in love with a hylian 

I question this cause of the goat/llama/ whatever the fuck they are shares a sages name if that’s the case they really are just diet champions 

WOLF LINK AMIIBO DOESN’T WORK LIKE IN BOTW THEY PUT MY BOY THROUGH THE MEAT GRINDER THIS GAME SUCKS -3/10

I’d love to here what some of you guys think cause I may be deranged about the zelda series but my friends aren’t lmao 

But yea those are my thoughts it’s a shame that I game I’ve waited for years for isn’t to my fancy but I’ve been in the fandom game for a long time so I know exactly what to do!

Ignore it! 

I’ll make my own totk story and lore!

With blackjack and Koroks!

[wouldyoustilllovemeifiwasawyrm]

Happy Birthday, Boss!

Linktober 2023 Day 18: Boss The morning of Hudson’s surprise party, the whole town buzzed with excitement. They’d been planning the event for weeks, speaking in hushed whispers and shutting up about it whenever the boss walked by. Everything had to be perfect, they said. Which is why they needed to invite the princess and her knight.

The morning of Hudson’s surprise party, the whole town buzzed with excitement. They’d been planning the event for weeks, speaking in hushed whispers and shutting up about it whenever the boss walked by. Everything had to be perfect, they said. Which is why they needed to invite the princess and her knight. Who else could make better racing carts?

Zelda and Link had spent the better part of the day before designing and building carts to compete in the planned race. He’d had to return to the sky islands above Akkala in order to obtain more batteries to power the various carts. They’d made nearly half a dozen—even one sized for a Goron.

Tables lined the footpaths around the inner circle of Terry Town, sturdy cloths laid over them. Banners and pendants stretched between rooftops, tied to the Unity Bell like spokes on a wheel. Kilton made some room on his monstrous display for the Stable Trotters to perform—Pyper almost fainted at the sight of the King Gleeok and kept a careful eye on it even after being assured that it was just a carving. The first event of the day brought a small crowd to the construction site. A few brave souls took their places at the starting line. Grayson gleefully took the handlebars of a modified steering stick, the cart’s wheels creaking under his weight. Hagie eyed the Goron warily, comparing the massive wheels on his cart with the smaller wheels on his own. Fyson’s clawed feet hopped up onto a cart beside him. While the Rito had been told multiple times that a cart race necessitated the absence of flight, Fyson declared that he was perfectly capable of driving “just like the Hylians!” Though, if Link’s observations of Fyson’s driving yesterday was any indication, Fyson’s grasp on ground transportation was shaky at best. As Link hopped onto his cart, nothing more than a fan bolted to the back of a Zonai cart, he watched in amusement as Hudson examined the workmanship on the final model.

Though the cart they’d prepared for Hudson was functionally identical to those driven by Hagie and Fyson, Hudson still inspected every bolt and screw. He wasn’t satisfied until he’d flipped the whole thing upside down to inspect the undercarriage. Though, apparently having found nothing to alarm him, Hudson eventually flipped his cart right side up, and the race could begin.

“Alright, racers!” Fernison called, her hands cupped around her mouth. “On your mark!”

Engines revved.

“Get set!”

Link trained his eyes on the first light. Hit that, bank hard right, hit the second, thread between those boxes-

“Go!”

Link’s cart zipped ahead of the others. Maybe it wasn’t fair, making his model so much more lightweight than theirs. But in his defense, it was Zelda’s idea. He wanted to make all the carts fast and light! But she rightfully reminded him that most people didn’t spend months piloting Zonai vehicles and learning how to handle them. What their models lacked in speed, they more than made up for in maneuverability. Link pulled hard to the right, zipping through the first light. The other racers were yards behind him, only getting to the first light when he zipped through the third.

A loud crash and a squawking behind him caused Link to whip his head around as he collected the fourth. Grayson had taken out a stack of metal crates and slammed his cart into a fallen chunk of island. Fyson, evidentially having been following close behind, took to the skies as his cart rocketed toward the smoldering remains of Grayson’s. The Rito and the Goron were both disqualified.

Wheels screeched around the third bend. Link’s need to make wide turns soon outpaced his speed advantage. Hagie and Hudson gained on him. Hagie leaned forward as far as possible on his steering stick, his face red from concentration.

“Careful with the stick, Hagieson!” Hudson called. “They can snap if pushed too hard!”

“It’s Hagie!” SNAP!

Link winced, stealing a glance back at Hagie-not-Hagieson tumbling heel over head onto the racetrack as his cart veered off to the side and crashed into the barrier. The poor guy was still holding half a steering stick.

Wind rushed through Link’s hair as they raced toward the final light, neck and neck. Link kept his head down, minimizing wind resistance as much as possible. With a straight stretch ahead of them, his smaller cart should easily zip into the finish line, leaving Hudson in the dust. But as Link adjusted his course to narrow in on the last checkpoint, he heard an unusual sound behind him.

FWOOSH!

Hudson rocketed, literally, onto the final platform. Link coughed in the resulting dust cloud, trailing behind Hudson by mere seconds. A cheer went up in the crowd, congratulating Hudson on his success. Rhondson smoothed her husband’s wind-ruffled hair back into place.

Link dismounted his cart, trying not to pout about losing. Zelda, having congratulated Hudson for winning the race, joined Link’s side, a mischievous smile on her face. “What’s wrong, Link?”

With all the attention on Hudson, Link felt fairly certain that no one but Zelda would see him be such a sore loser. “I don’t remember putting rockets on his cart.”

Zelda giggled, hiding her mouth behind her hand. “That’s because you didn’t. I did.”

“But why?!” Link whined.

“Because I knew you’d win if I didn’t. And look how happy he is.” She gestured toward Hudson, who laughed heartily, basking in the attention of his employees. “It’s his birthday, Link.”

Link crossed his arms with an exaggerated huff. Pretending to be upset about Zelda’s “betrayal” proved more amusing than a win anyway. “Fine. But only because it’s his birthday.”

The celebrations carried on back up the railcar. Roasted meats and candied fruits graced the various colorful tables set out that morning. Residents hosted and participated in games of chance and skill. Link lost fifteen rupees playing cards against Moggs. Zelda won back twenty. Monari showed the children how to toss wooden rings onto bottle necks. Beetz let Hunnie play an “experimental” rhythm on his drum. The rest of the band kept up with her as best they could, leading to laughter and cheers from all.

Moggs took Monari by the hand, leading her in a jovial dance around the town square. At Zelda’s request, they taught the steps to a small crowd. Link stepped on Zelda’s foot twice—she was nice enough to only mention it once.

As the evening drew to a close, Eustus blasted his horn to gather everyone’s attention to the monstrous stage.

Kilton bounced excitedly from one foot to the other. He stood behind a table, on which rested a metal dome so tall it nearly covered his face. “Good people of Terry Town, hello, hello!” He called, chucking at the end. “I have prepared for everyone’s enjoyment a most spectacular, most splendiferous creation! Behold!” He grabbed hold of the dome on either side, lifting it with much struggle and a hrrrrrk!, finally letting Beetz assist him.

Sitting atop the table was the biggest, purpliest, most vibrant monster cake Link had ever laid eyes on. A cheer rose up from the crowd, all delighted by the culinary masterpiece. Two Zonai cannons blasted behind the stage, sending colorful bursts of light into the air, which crackled and sizzled down from a fiery flower’s blossom.

Kilton cut a large slice of the monster cake, holding the piece high enough for the whole assembly to see. “Three cheers for the best president that Terry Town could ever ask for! Happy birthday, Hudson!”

Rancorous applause, whistles, shouts, and cheers filled the air. Many of Hudson’s employees patted him on the back and playfully punched his shoulder, all pushing him up toward the stage to take the cake. Hudson, his dark eyes scanning the crowd nervously, his face rather red, took the cake.

“Speech!” Fyson called. Several others joined in with this demand, a cacophony of “Speech! Speech! Speech!” soon drowning out even the applause. Link, too, found himself shouting along with the crowd, laughing at the absurdity and delight of it all.

Hudson raised his hand. The crowd quieted. “Well, firstly, I must say that it is incredibly kind of all of you to put on a big party like this.” A cheer of goodwill followed this sentence. Hudson cleared his throat. “I am very glad to see Terry Town come together to create a festival this grand and lively. I haven’t had so much fun in…well, since I last built a house!” Laughter rippled through the crowd.

Hudson shook his head, chuckling a bit himself. “It really means a lot to me that you all cared enough to cheer me up. I’m sure many of you have noticed, though have been kind enough not to make much of it, that my precious Mattison has left us to join her mother’s people in Gerudo Town.”

A more subdued cheer followed that declaration. Link remembered well the fights that Hudson and Rhondson got into when he first arrived in town. He felt terrible for them. That tradition kept a man and his children separate…it was almost barbaric, though he didn’t dare mention that to a Gerudo. He couldn’t imagine being forced to part with his own daughters, were he ever so blessed to have them.

“There is just…one thing…that I feel obligated to mention.” Hudson continued. The crowd fell silent, waiting in quiet expectation for what important detail Hudson felt they all needed to be made aware of.

“My birthday is next month.”

”WHAT?!” The crowd muttered to each other, baffled by this announcement.

Zelda hid her smile behind her hand, her shaking shoulders the only indication that she was holding back uproarious laughter.

Link leaned close to her, watching the confused crowd try to figure out where they heard the wrong date and who didn’t bother to correct them. Accusations and defenses flew from one side of the square to the other, none so puzzled as Hudson himself. Link kept his voice a whisper, low enough that only his princess heard him. “You knew it wasn’t his birthday, didn’t you?”

Zelda pressed her lips tightly together, the corners of her mouth fighting not to turn upward as she struggled to hold in her laughter. She shook her head. “I have no idea what you’re referring to!”

“Zel!” Link laughed, poking her in the side, which caused his princess’s laughter to finally escape as well. “You could have said something!”

Luckily, no one seemed to take any notice of them as Zelda giggled. “I know, but they all had so much planned, and you know we’ve got that banquet next month-.“

Link’s mouth opened and closed like a hearty bass. “You didn’t correct them because it would interfere with our schedule?!”

“Shh, I did no such thing.” Zelda pressed a finger to his lips, mirth, and laughter still sparkling in her eyes. “That would be very unprincesslike of me.”

Link set his hand on her waist, pulling her close. “You cheeky-“ He chuckled softly, pressing a kiss to her nose. “You let me lose that race knowing it wasn’t even Hudson’s birthday.”

“Mm, I cannot deny that.” Zelda teased. “I hope you’ll forgive me.”

Link narrowed his mischievous gaze, a playful smile on his lips. “Absolutely not. You’ve wounded my pride, and that is completely unforgivable.” He kissed her forehead. “Extremely unprincesslike behavior.”