#killing myself what in the homosexuality is this

[v3lnys]

girl what.

[the-gayest-sky-kid]

I hate gay people

[glowingsand]

shot myself like three or four times while reading the official translated chapter…..you guys i think it’s officially gojover there’s no hope left in this room

[beillus]

shuggy reunion where their entire crews are watching them from afar taking bets and eating popcorn. Luffy is also there and he tries to intervene cause he doesn't trust the clown and Beckman has to beg him to not do that because "Shanks has been waiting for this moment for years". Alvida is in the back collecting bets on who will cry first with Yassop and Lucky roux. Shanks yells about Buggy leaving him at some point and that's when everyone gets tuned in like they are watching a football match. Shanks like "AND WHAT DOES CROCODILE HAVE THAT I DON'T?" "A FIVE YEAR PLANNER AND A GOAL!" the strawhats end up being equally invested in the drama after that because what do u mean Buggy left first, what in the homosexuality is happening, Nami ends up getting in on the betting pool and Yassop is catching up his son on 30 years of drama and Robin is side eyeing Crocodile like she wants to ask him about his love life but she won't and he pretends she isn't there cause he doesn't want to talk about it. Luffy actually ends up taking Buggy's side in the conflict, surprising everyone and himself, Shanks cries first, Nami wins a good sum of money, Perona is egging Mihawk on to go and make it messier, Zoro is confused, Crocodile wants the ground to open up and swallow him cause Shanks keeps dragging him into their mess, it's chaos.

They're just a telenovela everyone's invested in and I absolutely love it. You know when your friend tells you about their ex and how they're so not going to go back with them? Well, those are Shanks and Buggy and everyone else is either exhausted of their bullshit or extremely interested in how it will end.

Luffy taking Buggy's side is the best thing ever because I genuinely agree and I think that if they ever showed him what happened he'd defend the clown. Which is both surprising and hilarious.

[theskywaslookingback]

When I was 12 I was going to be married and have two children - Kathryne Elizabeth and David Chase.

When I was 9 my mom told me that when she was pregnant with me and took a bath, I’d roll around in her stomach like a dolphin. The thought made me sick.

When I was 17 I was in love with a boy who was a good childhood friend, and I wanted to marry him so bad I chased him away (we haven’t spoken in 13 years).

When I was 15 I kissed a boy for the first time. We dated for six weeks. I kissed him twice more, and the first time he put his tongue in my mouth I gagged.

When I was 16 I told my best friend that I didn’t understand the big deal about sex. In fact, I thought it was kind of gross. She laughed and told me to grow up.

When I was 6 I licked a boy’s desk in school because I wanted to give him cooties. I thought it was something like chicken pox.

When I was 18 I kissed a girl for the first time and thought “oh”.

When I was 14 my friend stayed the night and wanted to know if I wanted to kiss her. I told her no, because she had a boyfriend. She said it didn’t count because we were girls.

When I was 20 my stepmom told me that she thought asexuals were broken or mentally ill in some way. I stormed off to my bedroom and cried, but I didn’t know what I was crying for.

When I was 18 I had sex with two girls. After it was over I lay by myself at the edge of the bed, cold and hollow inside, and didn’t understand what I was so upset about.

When I was 11 I wanted to be a stay at home mom when I grew up.

When I was 19 I had sex with a guy for the first time. I didn’t hate it, was my first thought. My second was that I needed a shower as fast as possible.

When I was 7 I was hugged by someone and screamed because I didn’t want them to touch me. I didn’t have the words for it back then.

When I was 20 I had a panic attack before my fiancé came over to visit, because I knew we’d be alone and I knew I couldn’t tell him no.

When I was 20 I told him no and it didn’t matter.

When I was 15 I got caught looking up porn on my dad’s laptop. I got in worse trouble because it was gay porn. “You’re just upset with boys right now, you’ll grow out of it.”

When I was 5 my dad would read parts of the Bible out loud every night. He paid special attention to the parts condemning homosexuality, like he knew somehow even then.

When I was 19 I heard the word asexual for the first time, and dismissed it out of hand.

When I was 25 I cradled it to my heart like a balm.

When I was 20 I decided I was never going to have children.

When I was 19 I thought I was pregnant, and decided to kill myself if I was.

When I was 26 I said the words ‘asexual lesbian’ for the first time to myself, and crawled under the covers to hide.

When I was 28 a friend sent me a comic about aromanticism. I saw all the parts of me that were on display there and decided I wasn’t strong enough to acknowledge it just yet.

When I was 27 I told my friend that the only time I wanted to be married was when I was sick and wanted to be taken care of. The rest of the time the thought terrified me.

When I was 15 I told myself that no one would ever love me.

When I was 29 I decided that I didn’t care.

When I was 13 I thought I knew exactly what my life would be like when I was 30.

When I was 30 I was relieved to have been so wrong.

[neon-danger]

I am the grinch

[vintagetvstars]

Alexander Siddig Vs. Jeremy Brett

Last Poll of the Quarter Finals!

Propaganda

Alexander Siddig - (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine) - The very first actor I ever had a crush on.

Jeremy Brett - (The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, The Three Musketeers, BBC Play of the Month) - "Listen, I fell in love with One Man when I was 16 and have never regretted it. Jeremy Brett is Everything. Handsome, charming, sweet, amazing voice, delightfully eccentric. Shakespearean actor best known for playing Sherlock Holmes in the 80s, he is widely considered the definitive Holmes and for good reason. Bisexual and bipolar, devoted husband, he was known to serenade friends at restraunts and hold scavenger hunts in his home, where he hid the plunger in a chandelier. Often pigeonholed into period pieces, he owned them. He was a pretty young man who became not just handsome but arresting. He was one of those people who walked into a room and instantly commanded attention, and I for one have never regretted giving him my attention." Full text propaganda included below the cut

- No Negative Propaganda Please -

Master Poll List | How to submit propaganda | What is vintage? (FAQ)

Additional propaganda below the cut

Alexander Siddig:

“At my first meeting with Garak I became visibly flustered. That was entirely my choice. It wasn’t written into the script. So I set off in that direction right from the get-go. And Andy (Andrew Robinson) obviously loved it, and that character became a series-long character because of that first scene. It’s an innocuous little scene on one of the little replimats on the station, and it only lasted like five seconds but it packed a punch because of the visible, kind of a charged, discomfort. That really made it. [...] I subconsciously keep that door open with just about every character that I play, and I always keep it as ambiguous as possible. One of my first roles was in [the TV movie] A Dangerous Man: Lawrence After Arabia with Ralph Fiennes and I played Feisal and again, not in the script, but that was charged with homoerotica and implied homosexuality. I’d just come fresh off that project. And I’ve done it numerous times since, characters that are written straight I just make sure are not quite straight. That’s just one of my things, probably because I’m not quite straight myself and that’s probably perfect." - Alexander Siddig in a recent interview with comicsbeat.com

Jeremy Brett:

“The superbly handsome Jeremy Brett, the regularity of his features made dramatic by a broken nose, the mellifluousness of his voice made arresting by a slight vocal impediment, presented a ravaged and romantic Holmes, a man who had suffered deeply and whose recourse to the syringe was the compulsion of a self-destroying temperament. His relationship with Edward Hardwicke’s transparently decent Watson was that of a drowning man clinging to a raft. The authenticity of the performance was unmistakable.” — “The man who created a monster; Conan Doyle hated the fame of his suave hero, but he couldn’t kill him”, Simon Callow, The Times, 18 December 2009.

Listen, I fell in love with One Man when I was 16 and have never regretted it. Jeremy Brett is Everything. Handsome, charming, sweet, amazing voice, delightfully eccentric. Shakespearean actor best known for playing Sherlock Holmes in the 80s, he is widely considered the definitive Holmes and for good reason. Bisexual and bipolar, devoted husband, he was known to serenade friends at restraunts and hold scavenger hunts in his home, where he hid the plunger in a chandelier. He also practiced archery in the middle of London. He could sing, he acted alongside Audrey Hepburn twice. He wanted to be a jockey when he was young but then grew a foot too tall. He had rheumatic fever as a child and was told he would never climb stairs. Dear Reader, he jumped over couches on film. In War and Peace he is very clearly the only actor riding a real horse, and is one of few actors who played both Sherlock Holmes and Watson. Often pigeonholed into period pieces, he owned them. He was a pretty young man who became not just handsome but arresting. He was one of those people who walked into a room and instantly commanded attention, and I for one have never regretted giving him my attention.

[dirt-grub]

Still thinking about it btw

im supposed to be at the club in a few hours and im crying over charpim fanfiction the more things change the more they stay the same

[roboticchibitan]

I remember when same sex marriage was legized in my state (3 years before obergefel vs Hodges which legalized it nationwide). It won by a very narrow margin.

People who had taken care of me when I was young, people who were like second parents to me, (along with half the other people I knew) were saying it was the end times because I could now get married. And I couldn't help but wonder... would those people have protected me, cared for me, let me play with their children, if they had known I would grow up to be queer?

I came out in 2011. I was lucky. My parents were accepting. My mom was clearly uncomfortable at first but she made it clear she loved me no matter what.

Except.

My dad didn't care if I was queer and assured me that didn't mean there was anything wrong with me (in a speech I didn't need to hear but I think he needed to say). But he still said "that's gay" and "that's faggy" anytime my little brother showed vulnerability.

And I was a lucky one. My father used homophobic slurs around me regularly. He turned the word gay into a slur with his homophobic mouth. And I was a lucky one.

When I came out publicly, my grandmother stopped speaking to me for a while. I'm lucky that she changed her mind. I'm lucky that my grandparents let me bring my girlfriend with me when I went to visit them in October. October of 2022 and I still consider myself lucky that my grandparents let my queer partner into their house. My other grandma likewise visited with us, and was polite and friendly, but she still refused to call my gf anything other than "your friend." Still lucky. Incredibly lucky.

People don't understand just how bad things were as much as ten years ago. When I came out at school, I was lucky. No one bullied me. No one shoved me into lockers or called me slurs. They all just stopped talking to me. I became invisible. I went to a small school. I was the only person who was out. Exactly one person talked to me the rest of the year. And I was a lucky one.

When I was in middle and highschool, the go to insult was "that's gay." I heard it constantly. Every day. Sometimes people said it to me to insult me, long before I even knew I was queer.

I was lucky because the worst that happened to me was social isolation and people using slurs around me or turning my identity into a slur. No one called ME faggy. No one beat me up behind the school bleachers. I was incredibly lucky.

I have experienced the word "gay" used as a slur far more than I ever heard the word "queer" used as a slur. Young "queer is a slur and only a slur" people need to know the world you live in is not the world the rest of us live in. Why is "queer" a slur but "gay" isn't? My homophobic father thought the word "gay" conveyed just as much offense and disgust as the word "faggot." So why is queer the horrible word that can never be reclaimed but people say "that's gay" as a compliment now? The loneliest I have ever felt was in a room full of teenagers who thought my identity was the height of insults. So why is gay fine but queer isn't?

I am a fat butch queer and I do not hide that. My shoes have a pride flag on them. I have a masculine haircut and wear men's clothes. I look queer.

And I am afraid. I dress like this anyway, because I want other queer folks to know I am a safe person. I dress how I do partially because I like it but also partially so any queer person in the room, no matter now closeted, can see me and feel a little bit safer. Because I will protect other queer people with my life if need be.

Because I am openly and visibly queer and live in a world where being queer can get you killed. Because it can. Gay bashings still happen. The alt right are getting bolder in their violence, and that includes homophobic/transphobic violence. There are organizations in the US that are actively pushing to make homosexuality punishable by death in Africa. They know they could never accomplish that here. But they would if they could. People want us dead.

Young people need to understand that. And they need to understand that the people who did the most work to free us from criminalization were queer. They identified as queer. And they weren't the perfect law abiding queers toeing the line of what's acceptible. Because being queer itself was illegal. You could end up on the sex offender registry for being gay. In fact, there are queer people who are STILL registered as sex offenders just because they were queer in 2001. Pride wasn't a permitted parade with wells Fargo floats. It was angry queers illegally marching down the streets, screaming "We're here. We're queer. Get used to it."

Being openly queer is a radical act. It is still a radical act.

I did not live through Windsor vs the united states, the referendum 74 debate, my father punishing my brother for being human with homophobic slurs, and the pearl clutching fearmongering about "the gay agenda" (that was a go to phrase for 2012 homophobes) for some LGBT kid to come at me with TERF bullshit they got off tiktok about how my identity is a slur and I'm a horrible person for using it.

I was a lucky one and I'm still saying "no, absolutely not" to this bullshit.

Queer is more inclusive. Queer accounts for any possible fluidity because people change. Identities change. Queer is there for people who know they're Something Different but are not sure of the details yet. Queer is intentionally vague. When you're young you want everyone to know exactly who you are but as you get older you realize actually my identity is none of your business. In fact, sometimes when you tell someone your identity, you're handing them a bludgeon for them to hurt you with.

If you have trans classmates, you do not understand the world the rest of us grew up in. Trans people were not a public topic. They were not even acknowledged as existing by most people. I didn't know what being trans was until I was like 17. I'm nonbinary now and consider myself trans 10 years later.

And I didn't even have it that bad. But you know what? It still sucked and it was still hard and I can't imagine what it was like to grow up a decade before I did. I had it easy compared to most people.

If you can jokingly say "that's gay" when someone expresses queer love, then you can fucking handle people using the word queer as their identity.

The infighting and policing each other has to stop. You're oppressing queer people with this bullshit. It does not matter what words queer people use to describe themselves when there are people actively killing us. What are you doing? For fucks sake look at the bigger picture. Direct all that rage at our oppressors and the people who mean us harm. Queer people and he/him lesbians and bi lesbians and people who use neo pronouns and whoever else is the discourse of the day do not deserve this kind of treatment. Punch a homophobe and maybe you'll feel better.

[northescere]

haikyuu!! as things my friends and I have said

Some of these were edited a little to make more sense in Haikyuu context :]

Tendou: Coach Washijo has to let us summon Satan in the middle of practice.

•••

Atsumu: Why v@pe when you can suck watermelon lollipops? •••

Terushima: You cannot aggressively beat the Camila Cabello out of me •••

Shirabu: Some people should be shot, but some people get to be president again, ha ha ha.

•••

Tendou: My insanity would probably be the most potent drug in the world

•••

Oikawa: I’m a homosexual, heheheheheh

•••

Nishinoya: See, you can achieve greatness even with short legs

•••

Tendou: Arson is good. It’s a great pastime. Like, bored? Go burn down a building!

•••

Hinata: BYE DAICHI-SAN

Daichi: I’m not for sale

•••

Shirabu: I feel like a spear went through my head right here (points to middle of forehead) and came out at the back here

Tendou: I’M A UNICORRRN

•••

Ukai Keishin: (spectating Karasuno antics) Some people end up in the zoo

•••

Kageyama: (on the way to the training camp) oh my god I will EAT the next traffic light that turns red

•••

Semi: What about you? Don’t you say that you eat children?

Tendou: I mean I do but that’s different because I’m a human

•••

Nishinoya: ROLLING ON THE FLOOR GOING FERAL CRUNCHING ON THE FLATSCREEN TV LIKE A MEIJI CRACKER

•••

Ushiwaka: I am at Daiso. Need anything?

Tendou: sanity 

•••

Sakusa: Are you fucking dumb?

Atsumu: Yeah, how’d ya know?

•••

Tanaka: I’LL KILL YOU ALIVE— oh wait crap I made myself sound stupid again

•••

Yaku: one more time Lev makes a height joke will rip off all of his hair and then shout ‘WIG SNATCHED’ really loud

•••

Tendou: I’ll bring you on a date night in Paris

Ushiwaka: what?

Tendou: what?

•••

Kyoutani: I have this urge to bite people. But not in a sexual way, just NOM

[abooklover]

Lines/things in the red white and royal blue movie that make me scream and laugh hysterically (bear with me cause there’s a lot):

‘an urge I currently share’ (Ellen)

‘Making it was one of the most depressing moments of my career and I once saw Mitch McConnell eating a banana’ (Zahra)

‘You can hate prince Henry all you want but the minute you see a camera you better act like the sun shines out of his ass and you have a vitamin d deficiency’ (made even funnier cause of how literally this turned out) - bonus ‘what if I set myself on fire’ (Alex), ‘we’d ship the ashes to Heathrow’ (Zahra)

‘That’s perfect, you can kill me and I won’t have to go’ (Henry)

‘That’s what makes you so charming. That and your eyelashes.’ (So fucking glad they included at least a reference to this. Taylor’s lashes were working fucking overtime in this movie.)

Henry’s text with the attachment and ‘but we were ever so careful, dear’ (One of my favourite texts in the book and I’m so glad it made it into the movie)

‘Can you think of anything more wasteful’ (Alex), ‘Perhaps this conversation’ (Henry)

Henry’s weird little attempt at dancing while chugging out of a champagne bottle with on fist pumping weakly into the air (he is so me it hurts)

‘He grabbed my hair in a way that made me understand the difference between rugby and football’ (Alex)

‘Princes aren’t allowed to be gay, you should know that’ (Nora)

Alex trying to look cool for when Henry walks into the red room (we love an awkward boy)

Alex and Henry jumping apart to do the most unnatural things (Alex inspecting flowers like it’s his job and Henry perusing the bookshelf) like the idiots they are when Amy walks in on them making out

‘Are you still…’ (Alex) ‘Like Stonehenge’ (Henry), ‘or Big Ben’ (Alex)

‘Henry and I are much happier against walls’ (Alex)

‘Are they known for their homosexual tendencies’ (Alex)

‘And I thought Alex Gabriel Claremont Diaz was a mouthful’ (Alex), ‘He is’ (Henry) - and the fucking looks that followed it (kill me now)

‘I went to an English boarding school dear, trust me you’re in good hands’ (Henry)

‘Once, unsuccessfully’ (Henry)

‘Oh gee kid I’m sorry to interrupt your process of becoming but you’re the one who decided to put your dick into the heir to the British throne’ (Zahra), ‘Technically I’m the spare’ (Henry), ‘Not talking to you sir’ (Zahra)

‘Every time I see you it takes another year off of my life’ (Zahra)

Alex’s ‘Noooo..’ and the little laugh he does

‘If I’d had more warning I could’ve made you a PowerPoint presentation’ (Ellen) - another incredible callback to the book

Oscar Diaz’s affectionate ‘you little shit’

‘I’ve been thinking’ (Alex), ‘I seriously doubt that’ (Henry) and Alex’s mimick of it (absolute gold)

‘Or find herself at the top of the staircase with Phillip around’ (Bea, you literally had no right)

Zahra’s face when Alex starts mooning over Henry after his speech, then Zahra saying ‘oh my god, I just have to do everything round here’ and do not get me started on her whole speech to Shaan (greatest thing ever)

‘You might be lousy at keeping secrets kiddo, but I’m not’ (Zahra), ‘Zahra, I could kiss you’ (Alex), ‘Touch me and die’ (Zahra)

‘They can’t keep you locked away forever’ (Alex), ‘We really need to get you a book on English history’ (Henry)

The way Stephen Fry says ‘homosexual’

‘You still haven’t noticed my tie’ and Henry’s little smile afterward (oh how far we’ve come)

BONUS: ‘Do you think anyone noticed?’ and Henry’s exasperated sigh afterward

[doorp]

like,,, them finding out Lenore’s name is vandernacht and going. You’re THAT LENORE?? and then making the connection that. Oh it might not be a coincidence that you and Annabel Lee both magically have the names of those two Victorians that died on their wedding day.

or if Lenore was erased from the history books them being like. “Wait they had a daughter?? Who the hell are you??” and Lenore having to realize that oh wow she was erased from history books - and subsequently having to explain herself

or if Lenore died on their wedding day and her identity wasn’t revealed to the public having to explain that, aha, yes, the Lenore that died in a fire? 😏 that was ME- i set the fire. ….And escaped into the night with my brothers stolen clothes. and cut all my hair off and then committed fraud.

oh and at some point eula is probably going to ask Lenore what Monty meant when he said she burned her house down and ran into the night -we kinda glossed over the fact bee and Eula know she committed arson- if they even remember it, a lot of shit happened that day

Do you guys think that once the characters of nevermore start remembering their timeline and where they were and who they were

They’ll eventually get wind of others, like if they knew Duke was an illusionist , he would be sorta famous right ???

And it seems Pluto knew but he could’ve just gotten that from the poster

But still

What if some of them got news or knew about Lenore and Annabel’s death?

Like if it were in some news papers or a known tragic story among the future before dying out as just another tragedy ??

[freaksnvans]

A 30-year-old Christian Fujoshi With a PhD's Thoughts on Team Fortress 2 Shipping.

Here I will be providing my thoughts and opinions on my personal favorite Team Fortress 2 ships. I do not know who will be interested in my speakings, but I am branching out into this beautiful fandom like a great oak tree. Haters can "suck an egg," and I do hope that saying is not an euphemism for anything of the less appropriate variety! Please be ready for a very long and verbose post.

How Did I, freaksnvans, Become Interested in Such a Thing?

An Introduction to Me.

I am indeed a Christian woman, and I self-identify as a Fujoshi. That may seem contradicting, but it is not. I ship the mercenaries from Team Fortress 2 in a good and god-honoring way, and I will not tolerate any negative speak of the Lord in my comments and/or reblogs. As for myself, you may only know me as freaksnvans. I chose that name because My favorite ship, as you may be able to discern from such a screen name, is Trucks n' Vans. The "Freak" part comes from a childhood nickname I was given in elementary school... the Freak. That is very traumatic to me, so I mustn't delve into the details. Moving on.

Where It All Started.

In 2007, I was vaguely interested in the game, having heard whispers of it from sites like YouTube as well as my male classmates. I was Thirteen years old, therefore in middle school. Team Fortress was, without a doubt, popular with middle school aged boys at the time of its release. Being curious as to what the "hype" (am I using this Gen Z slang correctly?) was, I googled Team Fortress 2. I had no, and will still never have any, interest in first-person shooter games. I do not like to kill things. I am a god-honoring woman. However, seeing the image of seven strong and mysterious men, (I am indeed disregarding the Scout, as he is not strong nor is he a man, he is a weak and pathetic boy.) I was indeed intrigued.

I, before then, had minor experiences with fandom spaces, having been interested in Harry Potter at the time. I read fan-fiction occasionally. However, I felt no interest toward fan-fiction and pairings of the homosexual variety. My favorite ship to read fan-fiction of was Dramione. I imagined myself as Hermione. My readings of fan-fiction were in fact very self-serving. I became gradually interested in Team Fortress 2 when the fandom was in its infancy. (If you are wondering as to how I never interacted with the fandom before now, or used "social media," that is because I was not allowed to at such an age, and had a fear of doing so up until adulthood. Please do not shame me.)

Back to the topic of Team Fortress! I began searching for fan art of my favorite characters - which, then, were Medic and Soldier. I longed for the Soldier to hold me in his strong arms. I secretly desired for Medic to perform cruel and unusual acts of surgery upon my body. That is a common sentiment shared upon fans of Medic now, I have found. I thought I was alone!

Anyways... At some point, I began to discover Team Fortress fan-fiction. I was extremely intrigued by my discoveries. I, being a pre-fangirl with no real interest in shipping between the mercenaries yet, read "x reader" fan-fiction. However, the extreme abundance of slash fiction made stories of the homosexual variety completely and utterly unavoidable. I naively decided to read just one story of such a kind. I do believe it was a HeavyMedic fic. It was like a fujosplosion inside my mind. I quickly became hooked on reading M/M Team Fortress fan-fiction, scouring sites such as FFN to find more.

That does seem to be how I became interested in gay pairings in Team Fortress 2.

Ok, then what are your favorites? Stop rambling, woman.

Why would you say that to me? Anyways, over the years, I have been particularly drawn to three different pairings.

the first would of course be Trucks n' Vans.

It may be obvious that is my favorite. Actually, I think I already mentioned that it is, ha ha! Anyways. Trucks n' Vans has captivated me ever since I was a young girl. First of all, Sniper is skinny and mildly pathetic, while Engineer is a beautiful fit man. He is also Southern, which I am too. I became interested in this pairing because I imagined Engineer teaching Sniper the ways of God and life in the South. He would show Sniper the beauty and joy of a good old peach cobbler. Which he clearly needs, because I do have a burning hatred for Australians. Sniper is an exception. Anyways.

I have also found great interest in HeavyMedic.

Of course I have. I was interested in this fandom from the day it was created, you silly goose, of course I love HeavyMedic. They were meant to be. Please don't tell God that I said this but I wish I was between them as they kissed. I am short enough for that, being a meager five-foot-one, and generally petite. Well, um, sorry to cut that short, but I am having an extremely bad nosebleed at the moment. Because I thought too hard about HeavyMedic with me sandwiched int he middle. I may as well complete typing this post up, because it's not that bad, but I may make typos here and there. There is blood on my keyboard. Oh Dear. LOL!

My Other Thoughts.

I do believe that Team Fortress shipping is what made me more tolerant of people leading a homosexual lifestyle. When I see gay people in the streets I no longer recoil in disgust as my parents taught me, but I remember that they are people too. Just like Team Fortress 2 in real life. I did meet lots of gay people in college, when I was learning and working toward my PhD in philosophy. Most of the men there did not interest me, because they looked too much like Scout and not enough like a handsome Soldier.

As detailed in my previous post, there are many people who hold disdain for fangirls, or generally people who ship and read fan-fiction. I did experience some of this in college and high school. In middle school, I was very secretive about my fan-fiction and fandom activities. I didn't even have any online friends. The only people I knew who had any interest in Team Fortress 2 were boys at school, who thought I was a freak of nature for being interested in gay scenarios between the mercenaries. I once had lemonade thrown on my brand-new white pants because I was caught reading a HeavyMedic fan-fiction in class. I wanted to die. Please, Lord, excuse my language...FUCK you, Jared. I have violent fantasies regarding him sometimes. As a result of that, I was called gay pee-girl for the rest of the year. I had to move schools because nobody called me by my name, and I was only known as the gay pee-girl. It was definitely worse than "freak."

That may be it from me today. There's so much blood. I think it is not just a normal nosebleed. Oh goodness

[analligatorr]

One headcanon I have for myself is that Graves hides his jealousy much better than T.F. (which isn't very difficult).

But let's not judge Tobias, Graves was the only person he loved in his life and feels comfortable letting his poker face fall, he is a bit insecure and wouldn't know how to deal with a possible loss (he really think that Graves would fall in love and run away with a supposed lover), which is why he feels jealous even of women, knowing about his partner's homosexuality.

So for sure Tobias was uncomfortable whenever Malcolm talks about someone he knew, be it Vayne, Nilah, Akshan, any sentinel or person, his brain will keep bothering him with questions like "a handsome shirtless guy? Do you like him? Don't you leave me for him, will you?" or "a girl tried to kill you and now you're her friend now? Who am I to judge, but do you like her like, REALLY LIKE her? Are you going to leave me for her??" He's kinda pathetic (i love him btw).

Graves' jealousy is more restrained despite anyone's first impression of him. Let's remember he's also a gambler after all. If there's something that Graves values, it is TRUST, his entire lore is around this word, and after TBaB, we noticed he's always the first to propose dialogue (he's grown so much, i love my baby). Unlike T.F., he tries not to internalizing so much of what is bothering him, he prefers to be direct and talk.

But look, Graves is still a destructive person... IF his trust was broken again, Bilgewater would suffer along with him xD

[agent-leighreid]

BAU TEAM MEMBERS...

...BEING JEALOUS OVER YOU

-Part one of two

-f!reader

-!!TW!! Mentions of rape and murder. Sexual innudenos.

-Y/n (Your name)

-Y/l/n (Your last name)

-Written in Y/n's POV (unless mentioned otherwise)

-Part one of two includes Emily, Hotch and Spencer.

-Part two of two includes, Derek, JJ and Garcia.

EMILY PRENTISS

"Okay Morgan, she's going to a Nightclub tonight, scouting for another victim no doubt..I need you to-"

"Charm? No problem Hotch, it's in my blood." Derek said, a smirk tugging at his lips.

I rolled my eyes, playfully hitting his shoulder. He chuckled, swatting me away, I raised my hand to attempt to 'hit' him again, but before I could continue, Garcia was calling in.

"Go ahead Garcia" Hotch said, putting it on speaker.

"A little birdy told me, that my Morgan is going undercover at a nightclub to flirt with an unsub?" she questioned.

"Don't worry baby, you're still my number one girl.." Derek spoke, smiling.

I glanced up at Emily and saw her smile, radiant as ever. She met my eyes and if I didn't look away, those pools of perfection would've had mine locked in place forever.

"Oh I had no doubt about that!" Garcia's response brought me back into orbit. "But that's not my issue, sugar" she said.

"What is it Garcia?" Hotch asked, growing slightly impatient.

"Our unsub is a lesbian." she stated.

Everyone's eyebrow raised, and through the corner of my eye I saw Emily look up at me.

"That explains her victimology, could be surrogates for an ex, or a girl who never liked her back.." JJ said.

"Or she could be acting out on her internalised homophobia" Reid suggested. "She grew up Catholic right? Recently Catholic churches have reached out to LGBT members to offer support..but that wouldn't have been the case for her growing up, most likely her parents tried to take her to therapy or they might've even tried to exorcise the homosexuality out of her..she's been manipulated into thinking who she is is evil, and wrong when in actuality she was just never accepted." he said. "Murdering these women is a way of killing that part of herself that no one, not even God, had been able to rid her of. She's trying to compensate for her so called “sins”. "

A small wave of silence washed over the room in the police precinct.

"Well, Y/l/n? Prentiss? Which of you is happy to do it?" Hotch asked, as Derek sadly sat back down.

Again, another small wave of silence until I grew confident and spoke up. "I'll do it." I said.

Yes, I was voluntarily putting myself in harms way but..

Number 1, it's my job

And Number 2, I can show Em I'm not just for the gentlemen.

"Are you sure?" Hotch asked.

"Yeah, we gotta catch this bitch right? And plus, I match the victimology better.." I responded, glancing up at the crime scene photos, my stomach sinking slightly.

"Okay, let's get ready" He said, walking off.

I was given a black satin dress, running from my shoulders to just above my knees. It had lace sleeves and was pretty thin. I shivered as I stepped out of the toilet that I changed in, my given high heels clicking along the floor of the precinct as I walked. While I never wore high heels, they weren't that hard to get used to.

(A/n: that's a fucking lie they're the worst shoes to ever be invented. Torture. And for what?)

I entered back into the room that we were set up in, whiteboards with speculations filling up the space and paperwork littering the desks.

I placed the handbag I was also given on one of the desks, putting my gun and badge inside.

A wolf whistle pulled me from my thoughts as the rest of the team walked in. The whistle came from Derek as he walked in smiling, Emily not far behind him, glaring in his direction. The rest of the team followed close behind, and we went over the plan.

Hotch and Morgan would also be in the nightclub watching over me and the unsub, while Emily, JJ, Spencer and Rossi, along with a number of officers from the police station, waited in SUV's outside. Watching through CCTV and listening through shared ear pieces.

The team got ready and walked out to the SUV's, the cold air hitting me like a brick; the dress wasn't exactly the thickest material in the world. I stopped in my tracks and folded my arms, feeling goosebumps.

"Want my jacket, Y/l/n?" Emily asked, coming up behind me, her warm hand placed gently on the small of my back.

My eyes met hers and I had to thank the city lights for hiding the blush that flushed onto my face.

"Oh, are you sure?" I asked, proud of my voice for staying steady.

"Of course! And hey, it goes with the dress.." she said, draping it over my shoulders as she looked me up and down, before entering one of the SUV's.

I had no idea if I fantasised that last part, but by the way Derek smirked at me while he walked past, wiggling his eyebrows as he followed Emily into the SUV, told me that I didn't.

I got into the other SUV, and we drove to the Nightclub.

I walked inside, music blaring in my ears, making them ache slightly. I glanced over the room and walked to the bar after JJ telling me she was there. I spotted her, and slowly approached the bar.

She sat fiddling with the little umberella in her drink.

"Can I just grab a lemonade please?" I asked the bartender.

The unsub watched me from her seat as I turned to face the dance floor, my arms resting on the bar.

"You not a drinker?" She said, initiating conversation.

Play it cool, Y/n.

"Me? Oh..nah." I said, turning in her direction.

The bartender slid me the lemonade.

"Thank you" I said, digging through my handbag for the money.

The unsub layed her hands on mine, stopping me from looking.

"Let me get this for you." she smiled.

I smiled "...oh, thank you" I said, my tone steady.

"It's no problem, why don't you drink?" The unsub asked, leaning toward me a little.

"Oh...my dad was an alcoholic.." I admitted to her, sheepishly looking down at my lemonade.

"Ugh, Dad's. Don't you hate them" she said, moving one of her legs on top of the other. "Or just...men in general.."

I saw Hotch a few feet down the bar, eyeing us up. "Yup.." I said, popping the 'p'.

"So many treat thier daughters terribly.." she said, taking another sip of her drink.

I didn't respond, but held my gaze.

"I bet I could treat you better.." she said, rubbing her high heel along my calf. "So much better than any man.."

My eyebrow arched as I copied her earlier move of leaning toward her.

"Oh yeah? How would you do that?" I asked, lightly biting the straw of my drink.

She smiled, her eyes growing hungry.

"Firstly.." she started, getting up off the stool.

EMILY'S POV

"Firstly.." she got up off her stool and took another step closer to Y/n.

"I'd show you how much of a princess you are.." she said, running her tongue along her teeth.

"Ew." I said, audibly. JJ, Spencer and Rossi drew their faces away from the computer and looked at me.

"What?" I asked. They said nothing and returned back to watching the unsub, while my eyes darted back to Y/n again.

"What then?" She asked, tilting her head.

"Oh then?" the unsub replied. "You'll just have to wait and see..." she said, paying with the lace of Y/n's sleeves.

I felt my heart leap into my throat.

"Can we go in already?" I asked, impatiently.

"Morgan and I are slowly etching toward them, be ready." Hotch replied.

I let out a breath and made sure my gun was loaded.

"Oh alright Y/l/n.." I heard JJ say, her eyebrows were raised, she sounded impressed.

I looked up from my gun "What?" I asked.

She pointed to Y/n just in time for me to see her tucking in some of the unsub's hair behind her ear.

The grimace on my face was painfully obvious, but I didn't care. I felt my chest roaring with flames of....I don't know what. Watching Y/n like that with someone else just didn't sit right with me. Maybe it was the fact that she was an unsub.

I watched the screen and saw the unsub pouring something in Y/n's drink, Y/n's vision blocked by the unsub's hand that she placed on her face.

"Hotch!?" I questioned, already making my way out of the SUV.

"I saw it, go." he responded.

"Already at the door."

Y/N'S POV

I heard her crush something in my drink, and my smile grew as I masked the slight fear creeping in.

"You're so beautiful" she said, stroking my cheek.

I giggled and reached inside my bag, pulling out my gun. "You're not, F.B.I" I said.

She turned to lose me in the crowd, but was met with Hotch right behind her. Morgan, JJ, Reid, Rossi, the police and Emily all filtered through the party goers, with thier guns pointed at our unsub.

The crowd of clubbers dispersed, some running out of the club, others huddling and watching from the sides.

She huffed putting her hands up. Emily holstered her gun and forcefully pushed down the unsub's arms, tightening the handcuffs around her wrists. "You're under arrest for the murder of 4 women, you have the right to remain silent-"

"I know my rights!" the unsub spat.

"Let's hope you do." Emily replied, shoving her toward a police officer to escort her to a cruiser.

I watched her leave, standing at the bar.

Emily turned to me, placing her hand gently on my elbow. "Are you okay?" she asked, her voice soft.

I looked to her and smiled. "Yeah, I'm good" I smiled.

She looked down at my drink, the powder still visible. "I was scared you were gonna take another sip.." she admitted.

My heart fluttered. "I heard her crush it.." I said sheepishly.

"Crush it?" She asked.

"Yeah, it must've been like a pill or something..I don't know" I said.

Emily met my eyes again, her pupils dilating as she took in my features.

"Actually pills are pretty hard to crush, unless it was specifically made, she would have struggled to crush it without atleast looking like she was trying to. She may have snapped the pill if it had a casing on it but I don't think that's what we're dealing with. Due to how packed the powder is within a pill, a human's finger strength isn't enough to crush it how you thought she would have. Have you ever tried to crush an egg with just one hand? It's basically the same thing-"

"Reid.." Morgan smiled.

"Yeah?" he asked. Morgan just shook his head.

Reid looked back at Emily and I and noticed how neither of us were processing the information he was giving, we were just looking in each other's eyes. We were staring at one another a little too long to just be friends.

"Oh.."

AARON HOTCHNER

Was flirting with my boss unprofessional? Yes.

Was I certain I was one lip bite away from getting fired? Also yes.

Did I care? That's another story.

I sat next to Morgan on the jet as we ran through what we had and attempted to get as much information about the unsub as possible before landing in Detroit.

"Well this guy surely isn't organized, his work is sloppy. It's like he doesn't care about getting caught" Hotch said.

"But evidences suggest that he is organised. He's taken forensic countermeasures to ensure we can't ID him..." Rossi spoke from his seat.

"Well...I wouldn't care if it was you taking me into custody either, Hotchner." I said, looking up at him and smiling.

He licked his lips, staying slient. "Morgan, Reid, go the crime scene. Rossi, Prentiss and JJ, talk to the victim's families..see what you can gather. Y/l/n, you're with me at the station." he said.

"Alright Hotch! Friendly remarks aren't a crime now are they?" I asked, holding up my hand sin defence.

"If you're not careful they will be, and plus..they were hardly friendly.." he said, walking off to sit in his seat.

"He loves it really." I say to the rest of the team, as they either hid thier smiles or unshamefully giggled at my antics.

We landed in Detroit and separated, each of us leaving for where Hotch wanted us to go, of course, he kept me by his side. Can't help it can he?

"So are we just gonna set up and wait for the others?" I asked, walking to our given room at the precinct.

"No, not exactly. The Detriot Police already have a suspect in custody.." He said, nodding toward the interrogation room.

"And you were gonna tell the team when exactly?" I asked, looking through the glass.

"They know, I had Garcia notify them as they made their way to where they needed to be. You and I, are gonna crack this guy. Even if he didn't kill and rape those 3 women...he's got something on him.." He said.

I raised my eyebrow. "Let me guess, I should be the one to talk to him?" I said, tilting my head slightly.

Hotch stepped closer to me. "Steven Oaks. He's a typical Alpha Male, one who doesn't lack dominance, he's unlikely to talk with someone a bit too...similar." he said.

I matched his movements and turned to face him too. "So what are you saying, Hotch? You afraid your “Alpha” persona's gonna rub him off the wrong way?" I mocked.

"Not at all, I'm just saying he might take pleasure in talking to someone a little more...submissive" he said, glancing from my eyes to my lips again and again.

I let out a breath and bit my tongue. "Is this an order?" I asked.

He didn't respond, he just held his gaze, and so I stared right back. His eyes, though often darting south, were never drawn away by nearby policemen.

I shook my head. "Pfft, fine. What's my tactic, Hotch?" I asked, approaching the glass and getting a good read of the guy before going in.

"Just see what you can find out.." He said, his arms folded.

I approached the door and entered, not before undoing just one more button of my shirt.

"Listen man i-"

I smiled warmly. "Last time I checked, I wasn't a man.." I said, sitting across from him.

He smirked and leant back in his seat. Relaxed already.

"No..no you are not" he said, his smile not fading.

"Ma'am, I can assure you, I had nothing to do with those 3 women, okay?" he said, sitting up.

"Oh we know, well- I know.." I sheepishly smiled, playing into whatever persona I threw on as I walked in.

"I know what kinda man you are...you wouldn't kill.." I said, my smile not faulting as I began to brush his leg with the tip of my shoe.

He took a breath in. "Oh yeah?" he asked, biting his lip.

As much as this was killing me, I had to play along. It's all fun and games flirting with your boss whom you know (and cherish on that note) but it's another thing doing it with a creep that you're certain should be in a cage.

"So...tell me Steven. How many people are in your gang?" I asked. If I'm totally honest, it was a shot in the dark, the only thing I had to go off was the badly covered up tattoo on his forearm. It was the symbol of a pretty wanted gang in the area after they moved from Canada down to Detriot.

"Oh I have a gang do I?" he asked.

"I assume so, you seem like the type of guy who.. likes to be in charge.." I said, running my foot just that tiny bit higher.

"I am." he said.

I kept my gaze fixed.

He smirked again. "Mulier vivit ut serviat viro suo et viri qui in circuitu eius sunt."

(A/n: I used Google translate, do not quote me that that was a correct translation)

This time, I leaned back and drew away my foot. "A woman lives to serve her husband and the men who surround her." I said, translating what he said. The way this gang was first noticed, was through an investigation of rapes. Each woman was left with a word printed out on an A4 peice of paper, until the rapes stopped and the police were able to form a sentence.

“A woman lives to serve her husband and the men who surround her.”

By the look on his face, he wasn't expecting me to know Latin.

He smirked again though, drawing his eyes away from my face, to my chest.

"Oh the things I would've done to you..." he whispered, his voice low and his breath repulsive.

He leaned forward more, reaching out his hand, probably to stroke my cheek, but before I could move Hotch stormed in, slamming his hands on the table.

"Touch my Agent, or even think about it, and I swear to you, I have a registered Glock 17 in my holster with a new box bullets that I will personally fire into every single one of your limbs, until any low life friends you do have, won't be able to identify your body. The only thing left of you will be those already rotting teeth." He said, his voice stern.

Steven sat back in his chair, unimpressed. Hotch took me by the hand, and placed his other on my waist guiding me to the door.

"Was that a threat, Agent?" Steven asked as Aaron was about to shut the door.

"No." he said. "That was a promise." he said, slamming it instead.

"Are you okay?" he asked as soon as we were back in the BAU's room at the precinct.

"Yes." I smiled. "Didn't you want more dirt on that guy anyway? I mean...was the quote even enough to nail him?" I asked.

"The words left with each of the rape victims were never released to the public, the only people who would know that phrase are the Detectives who worked the case, or the gang members themselves..are you sure you're okay?" he asked again, taking a step forward. It was hesitant, compared to his pervious one.

I closed the gap between us, laying my hands on his chest. "Aaron Hotchner, I am fine. I was doing my job." I said, looking up at him.

He almost leaned in to my touch as he took a deep breath. "If you need to tap out of the case I will happily-"

"Aaron." I interrupted him.

"We've put away a freak, let's work on the unsub we were called in for, okay?" I asked.

His hand found itself at the small of my back, his thumb rubbing soft circles.

"Just let me know.." He said, before turning around away from me, just in time as Reid and Morgan walked in.

SPENCER REID

"-It's all maths really.." Spencer had climbed out of his pool of facts and statistics. He was trying to convince Hotch to let him come into the casino with me.

"And plus if..if anything happens then she won't be left on her own.." he said, glancing at me.

"Not that you wouldn't be able to handle yourself..I was simply-"

"Spence." I cut him off smiling.

"Hotch said you come in with me 5 minutes ago." I said.

"He did?" he turned his head to where Hotch was standing.

"Get ready" Hotch said, before turning on his heels and leaving the room.

Spencer turned to me and sheepishly smiled. That same smile in which I'd fallen for.

I exited the room also, to change into something more...gold digger appropriate. Wasn't exactly my style. I wasn't the type to dress so provocatively but if it's to catch a killer, I'll wear anything. I changed out of my shirt and got into the dress I was given, squeezing into the high heels and attempting to but on the mascara.

I huffed in the mirror after slipping for the third time.

"You..need some help with that?" Emily asked, walking into the changing room.

I smiled. "Please" I said, holding it out for her.

She took it and began applying it. "You're telling me you don't ever wear mascara?" she asked, concentrating.

"No? Have seen me with mascara? Or any makeup for that matter?" I asked.

"Well lucky for some...natural beauty and all that.." she said, turning to my other eye.

"Oh please" I said, waving her off.

"What?" she asked, almost offended. "You're gonna tell me you're not beautiful? Because I know I certain man with an IQ of 187 and interestingly enough, his intelligence gets slashed to 60 when he sees you for the first time in the mornings.." she said, smirking.

I tried to hide my blush, but that was hard considering she was right in my face. She turned my head with her fingers and examined her work. "There all done." she said, turning me to the full length mirror, taking in my appearance as a whole.

"Jeez that's a look" I said, slightly grimacing. "I mean...it'd look great on someone else I just don't know how I feel about it.."

"Well you're gonna have to embrace it!" She said, walking out. I followed close behind. "And besides you actually look really hot" she said, winking at me.

I laughed. "Don't let JJ hear you say that.."

Her mouth gaped and she hit me on the shoulder.

"Okay, we're ready" Emily said, as we walked back in to the room.

The others gawked at my outfit, never expecting to see me in something like it, even Hotch raised his eyebrows momentarily.

"Damn, pretty girl" Garcia said from the computer.

"Thanks Penny" I smiled. "Where's..Spencer...or Reid, sorry.." I asked.

"Oh he's just coming we gave him something to wear aswell" Hotch said, pointing to the door.

Spencer walked in, he wore a black jacket with matching trousers and a white shirt, with a number of the buttons undone. His hair a little less styled than before, and a bit messier.

I felt the blood rush to my cheeks in a frenzy, and the fabric around my chest got a little tighter.

"Sorry, I know what time the unsub gets to the casino and I didn't have time to do my hair..." he said, fiddling with a number of strands.

Too flustered to speak, I just did the first thing I thought of. I walked over and ruffled his hair up more. "You look beautiful." I said, and walked out immediately.

My eyes were popped out of my head as I walked away, the team following close behind me.

Morgan began walking next to me. "What was that?" He giggled.

"Derek." I warned, my blush still hadn't faded from when Spencer walked in.

SPENCER'S POV

"Sorry, I know what time the unsub gets to the casino and I didn't have time to do my hair..." I said, trying my best to fix it.

That's when my heart stopped. Y/n walked over, in a dress I'd never imagine her in. I'm sure she wouldn't have put herself in the dress either, but that's not to deny how beautiful she looked.

Sure, her persona for tonight was: 'flirt with and rub up the guy with the most money' (our unsub) but she looked like an angel to me.

"Reid!" Garcia snapped me out of my thoughts from her spot on the computer.

"Go! Everyone left with Y/n when she walked past you" she said, smirking. She disappeared off the screen and I scurried out of the room, catching up with everyone.

Y/N'S POV

"Here are your ear peices, they're small enough so no one will notice." Hotch said.

I put mine in, as did Spencer.

"Okay, Y/n you go inside first, all you need to do is steal his phone, it should be in the inside pocket of his blazer.." Hotch said.

"So my pick-pocketing childhood has payed off.." I said, jokingly.

I made my way inside the casino and let myself settle in. I'm here to find a man with a big prize pot. A specific man anyway.

I wandered from one end of the casino to the other latching onto winners of games until I finally noticed the unsub sat at a poker table.

I looked behind me, noticing Spencer just entering the casino. He saw me, we locked eyes. I reluctantly teared mine away and went and stood behind the unsub.

"Well isn't that a bad hand? Surely you should fold.." I said, looking down at the straight in his hand.

"Call." said the others at the table.

The unsub looked up at me and smirked as he showed the dealer his straight, winning the pot. He handed me a bill. "Why don't you go get us some drinks for the next game sweetheart? A scotch for me if you don't mind.." he said.

I made sure to be overly touchy. "Sure thing" I said, strutting away.

I made my way over to the bar, where Spencer was. "Can I have a lemonade and a Scotch please?" I said, making sure to not drop the act I'd put on.

"Is that Poker over there?" Spencer spoke up.

I faced him. "It sure is, takes a lot of luck.." I said, walking off with the drinks.

Spencer followed. "Or intelligence." he said, beating me to the table and sitting down.

I passed the unsub his drink and we clinked glasses.

The dealer dealt everyone their cards, including Spencer this time around.

Everyone took a brief look at thier cards, and each man tapped the table. They all called.

The dealer flipped over the three cards, resulting in two of the men to fold, the only ones in the game now were the unsub and Spencer.

"C'mon baby, you got this.." I whispered, not so quitely in the unsub's ear, running my hands in and out of his blazer, passing off as just really horny. The game continued as I felt up this little freak until I eventually felt the phone and managed to slip it out, unnoticed.

"I'll raise.." the unsub said, throwing in an abundance of chips.

I looked up at Spencer, trying to tell him that he could fold already as I had the phone.

Instead, he watched me fiddle with the collar of the unsub's blazer.

He said nothing, and just placed the chips in, seeing the unsub's raise.

"Okay, cards?" the dealer asked.

The unsub layed his cards down. "Full House.." the unsub said, smiling.

Spencer didn't even look at the dealer as he placed his cards down, his eyes were glued to mine. "Royal Flush.." he said, his head tilted slightly.

I of course had to keep up my act, so while running my hands down his arms, I slowly walked away from the unsub and over to Spencer, wrapping my hands around him this time.

"Well aren't you lucky?" I said.

He faced me. "It's all maths really" he said, placing his hand over mine as it layed on his chest.

"What do you say I cash in these chips and we...get ourselves outta here" he said, standing up, and turning to face me, his hands snaking around my waist.

I bit my tongue and further closed the gap between us. "Okay" I said. At this point I didn't even need to act turned on. I was.

SPENCER'S POV

We walked, arms linked over to the cashier and exchanged the chips I had for the money.

"You won big tonight didn't you, son?" The cashier said, gathering the bands. I looked at Y/n, examining every inch of her perfect skin.

"I did.."

We made our way out of the casino, and walked down the road a little, before hustling into the SUV.

"Y/n you got the phone didn't you?" Hotch said, his angry eyes not leaving mine until she pulled it out.

"Oh but of course Agent Hotchner" she said, passing it to him.

I faced her again, the dim light in the SUV glowing down on her like she was the center of the universe..well...she was the center of mine anyway.

[hellrices]

I've been reading up on the Menendez brothers case ever since the MONSTERS show has gotten popular and I have to say that this case is all I've been able to think of for the past few days. Here are a few things I need to rant about before my head explodes -

I haven't seen the show myself but the few clips I've come across have such gross mischaracterizations of the brothers and even heavily imply a romantic relationship/sexual tension between them that the brothers have directly denied. They've also said themselves that "the show is rampant with lies". So I really implore that nobody base any opinions on the case based on the portrayals of the brothers in the show, and research the actual case themselves. The brothers are actually very nice and respectful. (And funny too - I had to keep myself from laughing quite a bit while watching some of their interviews)

I've been watching footage of their direct examinations, cross examinations, novelli tapes, interviews, phone calls -  even the ones where they were in prison at the time of the recordings. I can say confidently that the prosecution were fucking idiots. Implying that, at the age of 6, Erik Menendez (who they were speculating of being homosexual despite him literally having a girlfriend) might've somehow invoked the molestation and rape that his father committed onto himself. (What the fuck???)

Despite the solid evidence of the emotional, physical and sexual abuse that the brothers endured at the hands of the parents. The prosecution had the nerve to try and blame the murder of Jose and Kitty Menendez as being motivated by financial gain. Fuck the prosecution.

After being presented with evidence such as the mother being found in possession of an envelope containing pictures of both Erik and Lyle (aged 6 and 8 at the time of the pictures being taken) with the focus of the photos being on the naked bodies of the children, as well as medical documents stating that 7 year old Erik faced injury to his throat which a medical professional states could have very well been caused by oral copulation, several scars on their bodies from when their father would cut them with a knife or stick pins and tacks into their skin, the relatives testifying and stating that they were never allowed to go down the hall when Jose (the father) was in one of the rooms alone with the boys and there were noises coming from the rooms that the relatives could hear, and so much other shit I could rant about for days, I cannot believe the prosecution still denied any plausibility to the fact that the Menendez brothers killed their parents out of fear of losing their own lives and tried to go on with their bullshit excuse that it was financially motivated.

The prosecution, according to Lyle, was also in possession of a letter that Lyle had written to Erik, where he recounted a lot of what happened and stated how important it was for them to stay together after everything that happened. The letter also specifically stated "Don't worry about the press because you and I know we didn't do anything for the money." The prosecution presented this letter to the grand jury as an attempt to connect Lyle to the case, but, upon later realizing (at a different grand jury) that Lyle was coming in anyway, they decided not to use the letter as evidence since it directly disproved their entire case. Since it was not part of the presented evidence, the brothers could not bring it up or discuss the letter at all which I imagine must've been fucking infuriating (they could not bring in the letter as evidence themselves since it was a letter that Lyle himself had written) Despite there being so much evidence that the murder was not for the inheritance, the stupid fucking judge and jury still couldn't wrap their heads around the fact that being abused and raped for all your life can affect men too.

I can't imagine how many other cases have been unjustly "closed" at a time where there was so much sexism, racism and general bigotry. (Life without parole was a fucking insane sentence for the brothers) But I've seen that Lyle has gotten a degree recently as part of a prison program and the brothers recently reunited after being separated at high security prisons for 20 years. The recent recommendation for resentencing also brings so much relief knowing that if they're released soon, they'll finally be able to experience atleast a shred of the life they were supposed to be able to live all along.