#killer would have one of those small pointed fast jets

[unknownarmageddon]

Said this in a post, but Kross having a dogfight (the airplane kind)

AUGH i keep forgetting to answer this but you’re so so right this is the realest actually

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Attack Of The Winter Wolf: Revealed

Summary- 7.7k Alpha Steve x Little One Reader. Steve and you pack up in the Stark Jet and head across the ocean, this time to Norway. Steve seems to think that there will be the answers needed to help your friends for good. Divider made by @firefly-graphics

Warnings- None

A/N- Those that have stuck with me through this, thank you. I hope this isn’t turning into a “what the hell are you trying to do Amber” kind of deal. Haha. I don’t have any real answers, its just whats coming out. Anyways, thank you for reading, as always its so appreciated to hear what your thoughts are on it. Happy Howling 🐺💙

Chapter Three / Masterlist

It was a rush the following morning, Steve and Tony were busy checking over the jet being loaned for the mission. Meanwhile Pepper showed you around the giant Stark Towers. The last time you had been here you were unconscious, not remembering any of it. Pepper’s heels clicking against linoleum, while you rushed after the fast paced Alpha who was doing two tasks at once. But once she led you on the elevator, hitting some buttons, she tucked her tablet under her arm, turning her attention to you with a relaxed smile. 

“Dr. Banner has been wanting to officially meet you.” She stated as an explanation for the elevator ride. Twiddling your fingers, you shuffled foot to foot a bit nervous, only knowing the doctor had been where Steve rushed you to first when Pierce injected you. 

When the elevator door dinged and the two of you stepped out to what looked like a medical wing. A dark haired man stepped out while flipping through a chart muttering to himself when Pepper cleared her throat. “Bruce, you have a visitor.” His head lifted, blinking at them from over his glasses frames, confused as to who would want to intrude on him. But then recognition crossed his features and he snapped his clipboard shut, striding over. 

“Y/N! Pepper told me Steve was coming back this way for help, and I was hoping he would bring you.” His hand popped out to shake yours. You welcomed it with a tilt of your head, drawing in his scent. A part of you recognized him, the hint of warmth and freshness. 

“ Dr.Banner a pleasure… Steve told me what you had done for me, thank you for everything.” 

Bruce sputtered a bit, giving a shrug. “Ahh, I wasn’t able to do much, just send you along to someone better able to handle what happened to you. Umm, do you have a few minutes? I just really would like to ask you a few questions about your experience. If you are okay with that of course.” He added almost shyly and you smiled reassuringly. 

“I have no problem with that Dr.Banner.” 

“Bruce please.” Bruce looked expectantly at Pepper who checked her watch and nodded. 

“We got time, Tony will have Friday call for us when the jet is ready.” Bruce immediately turned on his heels and led the two of you towards his office. 

Steve went through the jet, checking all the gear stashed on board as well as settling in the controls chair to make sure he was familiar with everything before leaving Stark towers. Tony plopped in the one next to him, making the Alpha in Steve rumble at the intrusion but Steve was able to placate him. 

“So off to Norway huh?” Tony leaned forward to enter the coordinates in the dash for the autopilot. “What's in Norway that can help you with everything?” 

Steve growled as he continued going over the controls. “You saw the file Fury sent along Stark. You know exactly who is there.” 

“Okay you got me.” Tony finished what he was doing and turned the chair to face Steve. “I also know he's basically a recluse now and the chance of you getting him to talk is almost nada, zip, zilch. What makes you think he's gonna spill what you need.” 

“I have my ways…” Steve said coldly, his wolf growling softly at the other Alpha in his space. 

Tony gave a mock shiver. “Alright alright… just be careful okay? I know we're not on the best terms Steve but I do have a lot of respect for what you are trying to do.” 

Steve arched a brow and shook his head. “We’re not enemies Tony, I don’t happen to agree or appreciate that stunt you pulled with Ross. But I think now my stance on that shit is known. We can disagree and still be fine.” Tony next to him brushed it off while continuing with the switches, making his own adjustments to the system. 

“I know Steve, it was still a shitty move on my part, bringing Ross into your home, where your mate was after everything that happened. But she certainly put me in my place.” He laughed, recalling how you kicked all of them out.

Steve glanced at Tony from the corner of his eye and rumbled out a “Thank you Stark, Y/N certainly isn't taking anyone's shit, not anymore.” Tony snorted in agreement to that statement. 

“I don’t think they ever do, Pepper is the same damn way.” 

Steve laughed in return, knowing full well that everything Tony said was accurate about Pepper Potts, Tony had chosen well for himself in Steve’s opinion. For all the tension between Steve and Tony, he respected the Alpha next to him, and knew that finding his packmates was just as important to Tony as it was to Steve. Not to mention finding those responsible for Happy’s murder. Steve turned his chair to face the other Alpha. “I’m sorry about what happened to Happy Tony. I know it’s hard to have lost someone who was family to you.” 

Tony blinked at him, warring with his own feelings about everything that happened. Losing Happy so brutally had taken a toll on Tony, finding the body having been dumped just outside of his territory, he still hadn’t been able to fully come to terms with it. “Thank you. Finding the bastards who did that has become my main priority.” Clapping his hands together to end the topic, he moved to a stand. “You Rogers are ready to go, ready to Captain my jet?” 

Steve waited till Tony moved out of his space before moving to follow him off the jet, keeping quiet about the further mention of Tony seeking out Happy’s killer. After seeing what had happened with Bucky and the rest, he already had his own sinking suspicions as to who killed Happy and he knew Tony did as well. 

“More than ready to go.” Steve stated, coming down the steps off the jet. Tony spoke up right then. 

“Friday, let Pepper and Y/N know that Captain Rogers is ready.” That caused Steve to roll his eyes and fold his arms over his chest. 

“Seriously Tony?” 

A smirk flashed, Tony winked at him. “Come on, I think it's a fitting title for you.”

Bruce was furiously writing notes while you described to him what you remembered being under due to the drug Pierce had injected you with when the AI Friday announced that the jet was ready, as well as Captain Rogers. You and Pepper quirk a confused look at one another, and she rolled her eyes with a sigh. “That's gotta be Tony’s doing I'm sure.” 

You nod in agreement, turning back to Bruce. “Looks like it's time for me to go Dr.Banner…” 

“Bruce.” He was quick to interrupt and moved to a stand to shake your hand. “Thank you so much for this.” He tapped his pad of paper where he had all the notes jotted. “I will put them in my file to share with Shuri. All this is incredibly helpful knowing more about the serum used on you.” 

Giving a vigorous shake back, you smiled genuinely at Bruce, you and your Little Wolf feeling quite relaxed with the man. “If I think of anything, I will be sure to send an email.” The Little Wolf flicked her tail in agreement, half listening while she was napping. 

“Oh! Yes please do with anything you might remember, no bit of information is too small.”   

Pepper walked out with you and joined you in the elevator. Reaching the top of Stark Towers, you both were greeted by Steve and Tony, who waited just inside the jet. As soon as you saw Steve, warmth washed over you, feeling that bond between you two hum happily, your wolves sought each other, in the moment they both were teasing each other, making your mood lift from having to leave once more. The genuine pleasure at seeing Steve melded that away, just as his own did, the wolves happiness being together melded with your own. Steve enclosed you in his arms, nuzzling the crown of your head a moment before questioning if you were all set.

“Tony Stark is funding another trip for us? I’m absolutely ready.” You joked as Steve let you go so you could turn to face Tony who scoffed at you. 

“Don’t let Cap here defile my jet please!” Tony was sure to give you his signature hug, that made Steve rumble a bit although you instead laughed and gave a bop of your shoulder. 

“No promises Stark. Pepper, thank you for showing me around your home.” Embracing her in a thank you. 

“Stay safe and bring my jet back quickly, Cap.” Tony pipped up while walking off the jet with Pepper, cackling to himself at the finger Steve threw up while the doors shut you two in. 

The Alpha muttered to himself while dropping into the pilot's seat and you were quick to join him on the opposite side. You buckled in while he flicked on buttons. “Captain Rogers?” you questioned watching him get the jet ready. 

Steve rolled his eyes as he made sure everything was set and handed you a headset while fitting his own on, the jet rumbling to life around you. “Tony thinks he is very slick, giving nicknames. Apparently Cap is his new one for me.” 

You smirked at him, winking as you settled the headset on and spoke into the microphone. “I think Captain Rogers has its benefits, Steve.” 

His hand went around the handle and started to push it forward, edging the jet forward to take off, the spanse of New York City below you. Much like the night before, you marveled at the beauty only a city could offer. “You would Little One.” 

A voice piped up over the channel, Tony coming over the comms. “I think your mate has a point Cap.” 

Steve growled into the comm for a second while you started laughing in the seat next to him. “Tony! Get off this channel.” 

“It's my jet, Rogers! I will listen in if I want.” He was about to continue when Steve took off his headset, setting the jet on autopilot with the coordinates. 

You snickered into the system. “Sorry Tony, Steve is cutting you off. Bye Stark.” You effectively cut Tony off and slipped the head set off, setting it aside while you leaned forward to get a better look out the window, unbuckling in the process. “You know since I have been with you Steve, I have seen things I never thought I would. Look at this.” You directed your gaze at the expanse of the sky before you, baby blue as far as the eye could see, the skyline rushing closer till the two of you crossed over the cities edged, now nothing but the Atlantic underneath you. “Beautiful.” 

Steve settled back to admire what you were looking at, letting some of his worries sink to the back of his mind. “It is… sometimes I forget you haven't seen all this before.” He held out his arm for you to join him, which you pushed from your seat and settled in his lap, his chin resting on your shoulder. “Do you remember much from the last time I showed you?” 

You perch on his knee and look over the dash, worrying your lip. “Mmh barely.” Your eyes roved over the panels while Steve dragged the tip of his nose along the curve of your neck, inhaling against it and letting it settle him further. Both the man and Alpha wanted to enjoy the long flight with you. 

“I guess we will be getting a crash course, Little One.” He rumbled happily while you seated yourself into a more comfortable position in his lap. 

You looked over your shoulder at him, your eyes laughing at his remark and bringing the exact response he wanted. “Really Captain?” 

Tightening his arm around your waist, he nipped at your lips with teasing affection. “Tony isn't the only funny one around here.” 

Steve spent a few hours describing the functions and some of how to fly. Together you both got to watch the sun going down and eventually you started napping in the copilot's seat, even though Steve tried to get you to go lay down in the back. 

These quiet moments, Steve wandered back to his memories, the Alpha in his mind lifting his head from the Little Wolf’s back where he had laid to rest, flicking his ears back and forth a bit at Steve’s thoughts. 

The first thing that came to memory was the stinging scent of smoke.

“Rogers, don't you dare go into that building!” Fury’s voice commanded Steve who stalled in the doorway, peering into Hydras base, nose flaring trying to catch scent of their missing comrades. “You are not commander in this mission.” 

“But Buck and the rest might be in there… I'm going” Steve defied Fury, darting into the darkness and out of sight, Fury's voice echoing behind him. 

“ROGERS! GET YOUR ASS BACK OUT HERE!” 

Steve continued forward, letting his Wolf out enough to sharpen his senses. His eyes picking up the bit of light in the darkened hallways leading deeper into the compound, his eyes glimmer dangerously in the dark looking for any sign of movement. He could sense others nearby, friend or foe though he was unsure. Footsteps silent, Steve once in a while looking behind him tense to make sure no one knew he was there. Glances in rooms showed them abandoned, cleared in a haste to get out before Shield got there Steve was sure. Ahead he heard scuffles and growls, chains clanking and the sound of voices in hushed tones. The Wolf lowered to his belly, quivering in anticipation should Steve allow him to take over. He eased the door open with a creak when relief washed over him. 

There men, most of them in large cages. Familiar scents washed over him and they all perked sensing Steve. 

“Rogers is that you?” Someone muttered while Steve approached, searching for a key anywhere in a nearby desk. 

“Yes, the rest of the troop is just outside. We haven't found anyone though. Where is everyone?” 

“Bolted man, once they heard Fury was coming they grabbed their shit and left. They didn’t have the bodies to defend this place.” Dugan responded as he pushed to the front watching while Steve searched the desk. Steve opened the last drawer, cursing as he pushed aside papers and flung them to the side. Then he was rewarded with a ring full of keys. Rushing over, the two men tried sorting through them, Steve stuffing them one by one in the locks, quick to go to the next till they found another. 

“They left us and their experiments.” Dugan continued filling Steve in while he tried to find the right keys. “Some messed up stuff, they are in the next room I think.”

The Alpha rumbled to catch Steve’s attention. <Bucky isn’t with them.> The mans head whipped up while the lock clicked finally, able to pry it open and release his packmates. 

“Where is Buck?”  

“Bucky… he was brought in there and never came back out.” another said, pointing at the door across the room.

The Alpha rumbled suddenly in an alert and Steve tensed and whipped around when an eerily sharp howl sounded through the building. Dugan pushed the door open, tensing as well. “That's one of them, their experiments.” 

Steve wrangled the keys out of the lock and started to go down the line, unlocking each cage, shifters passing him to get outside. 

“Fury, you have outcoming hostages, they are friendly, don't fire.” Steve spoke into the comm. 

“I hear you Rogers.” Came Fury’s voice in a wave of static. “Any unfriendlies?” 

“No, Dugan notified me they all bailed once they heard we were coming” Steve responded before turning to his friend. “Dugan, get the rest out of here, I’m going to keep looking.” 

His friend bared his teeth at him, bristling at the notion. “You don’t know what's back there Rogers.” 

“If I have to, I will retreat, get these men out of here. I’m not leaving anyone behind.” Steve growled back deeper, the Alpha in him asserting himself and the man backed off with a disgruntled nod. 

Waiting to make sure they were going to leave, Steve approached the door cautiously, using his senses to pick up what might be on the other side, who might be on the other side. He was praying for a miracle, because nothing but death filled his senses as he eyed the door, drawing in any scent left behind. It was all jumbled, multitudes of men and women have passed through the threshhold, making it almost impossible to pinpoint any specific person. “Well… let's see what's on the other side.” Steve shouldered through the door and a lab stretched before him, ominous equipment stretched on either side. A groan came from somewhere ahead and Steve paused till he heard it again. It was so distinct to him that the hair on the back of his neck prickled, the Alphas own fur raising as well along the ridge of his back, it was another Alpha, but this one they knew. 

“Oh thank fucking god.” Steve uttered as he rushed forward to find Bucky strapped down and Steve started pulling at the straps holding him down. Wires were strapped all over Bucky's neck and chest and stretched to attach to some equipment, Steve started yanking them off as well when finally Bucky started to come around. 

“S-Steve?” His eyes sharpened and he clutched at Steve's uniform, worried that he wasn't real. 

“It’s me Buck, we’re getting out of here.” Steve tried assuring him, keeping his voice light and calm even though he was far from that. He had never seen Bucky so scared. Suddenly the howling started again from the back of the room and both men glanced that way. 

“Whoever it is just keeps doing that.” Bucky muttered when a voice crackled in the comms. 

“In-ing” then static sounded in Steve's ear, making him wince as he pressed his hand over his ear. 

“Repeat? What was that Fury?” 

“In-oming! G-t Ou-” The building started to shake and lights started zapping and popping around them. 

“We ca-t hold hi-, Get O-” Fury yelled into the comm but Steve had to rip it out, electricity zapping through it and breaking it up too much. Bucky gripped Steve tighter, his pupils blown in his panic. 

“What the fuck is it now?!” 

“I don't know… but we gotta get out of here.” Bucky started pulling Steve towards the exit, but whatever was in the back rattled its cage with a savage snarl, and Steve couldn’t leave who ever or what ever it was behind. He stuttered to a stop, Bucky pausing at the door with a shake of his head. 

“Man, we got to go… there isn't enough time.” 

Steve’s hands dropped to his pants and felt madly for the keys he had stuffed in his pocket earlier. “We can’t leave him in there Buck.” He waved his hand. “Go, I got this.” 

Bucky cursed but held tight, refusing to leave Steve behind.  

Steve raced towards the cage to free whatever was inside, shoving the key he used before into the lock and it clicked to open. Glowering green eyes blinked at him from the shadowed part of the cage, but he couldn't make anything else out in the seconds he got the door open. Bucky was screaming his name and when he managed to get the door to swing wide, a bundle of black sprang on his chest, bared white fangs yawning open going for Steve’s throat….

“Steve- Steve?” Your voice cut through and he shook his head a bit to clear it before looking at you. 

“Sorry, I thought you were sleeping Little One.” 

“I was, but the computer started beeping on the dash.” You pointed to a blinking light and Steve leaned forward to check the system, smiling. 

“We're here and just in time to. Look” He pointed out the window at the faint purple in the skyline, the sun easing up beyond the cloud cover to turn a brilliant red and orange of dawn. When Steve took over, he started to drop the jet down. Below the clouds the land turned a deep almost emerald wild green shimmering with mist stretching like tendrils to a spiderweb over the land, still in the early morning phase of waking up. 

You weren't lying earlier when you said you saw things you had never expected. From the rainforest and safari of Wakanda to the lush greenery of Norway, you soaked it all in with awe. So long spent locked away in a room, gazing with longing at the upper windows that offered nothing more than peeks of the sky. Now you soared over the world with your Mate. Even the Little Wolf was in awe, slithering away from where the Alpha was half sleeping and prancing excitedly with joy at the adventure. The Alpha stretched out, arching his back and padded heavily after her, nuzzling her affectionately while her tail waved back and forth, unable to stay still in her excitement. 

“The Little Wolf is excited.” You told Steve and he winked at you. 

“I can feel it. What do you say we take her down?” 

Steve easily maneuvered the Stark Jet down to land in a wide open field bordering the ocean. You followed him towards the doors swinging open and already wolves appeared from the long grass with tilted heads checking out the newcomers. You sidled up to Steve’s side a moment, watching the wolves dart back out of sight in the tall grass and heard their howls break the silence, announcing their arrival. It was a welcome sound, you couldn't detect any hostility in the notes. But their songs were so different. Sounded much older, almost like a language all its own. 

Steve cupped his hand and gave a sharp “We’re here” yip, that was answered resoundingly from all around you, the pack having circled you two and remained just out of sight. His arm lowered around your shoulders and you held your breath, unsure of what to expect. A bellow came, joyful and loud as a tall blonde man, even taller than Steve stepped out, his arms opened wide in greeting. 

“Why what a surprise! Are you here for the Asgard hospitality? I didn't think anything would ever get you to leave your corner in the world.” The over sized man strode towards them rather quickly, and the closer he came the more your eyes widened. You didn't think you had seen anyone who was as bigger then Steve in stature. He clasped Steve's shoulder and directed his joyful gaze down at you. “And who is this lovely maiden you bring with you?” 

“If I could be there, trust me I would. This is my mate, Y/N. Y/N, this is Thor, the Alpha here.” Steve protectively wrapped an arm around you, even though you wore his mark for Thor to see, Alphas always had a bit of tension between them no matter how much their human counterparts tried to quell it. 

Thor though seemed unaware of such a vibe as he beamed down at you warmly. “Well Little Pup, welcome to Asgard.” He took your hand in a vigorous pump and you couldn't help but warm right up to him and his exuberant nature. “We run free and feast like we are in the halls of the Old Kings here.” He swept the both of you down the path and all around his wolves started to howl and dance in a joyful manner, playing among each other much like they were participating in the Full Moon Run. “Now Rogers does tell me what has been going on across the water? It's been a while since I've visited there.” 

“Afraid we have been having some issues.” Steve started, filling Thor in on the recent attacks, taking apart the packs and capturing the Alpha’s. The viciousness in the attacks and the destruction left behind. Thor listened patiently until Steve mentioned Hydra. That's when he paused, you and Steve having taken a few steps ahead but noticed he wasn't with you. You turned to see him glowering. 

“That's why you are here, Rogers, isn't it? Because of Hydra. He wont talk to you about it you know.” 

Steve sighed and you had a sinking feeling about the situation, not fully understanding what was going on. 

“I have to try Thor, your brother was the only one who was able to break from the collars power and the mind shit Hydra does to their victims.” 

“He barely interacts with any of us Steve, he mostly stays as his animal out there.” Thor retorted, the sky started to darken slightly and you frowned to yourself at the sudden change in atmosphere while glancing up. 

Steve sighed, letting his arms hang loose at his sides to show Thor he was no threat to him. “I know Odinson, trust me. I wouldn’t be here if there was any other way. Packs, families are all being killed off, Alphas removed. How long till you think it will be till it comes over here?” Steve pointed out and Thor’s face twisted and he looked away. 

“It won’t be like before, I won’t let it.” 

“You don't know that… Shield risked sending the Howling Commando’s over here to help your people, now I’m asking for your help. Just let me try talking to him?” 

Your heart twisted as you saw Thor try to control his emotions on his face and you reached out to touch his arm, Steve for once kept quiet, inhaling deeply to keep himself in check. “Hydra really hurt him, didn't they? If it's too much we will just leave. Right Steve?” 

“If you tell me absolutely not Thor, she’s right. We will leave right now and not bother you again.” 

Thor glanced back at you, his eyes searching yours and you could see everything he was doing was about protecting this person. You bit at your lip nervously, you knew you were invading this Alpha’s space but stepped in closer anyways. “Please let us try? We just want to save those we still have left. Our packmates are fighting a losing battle with Hydra, we don't want to lose them.” 

A sigh escaped the man and he glanced over your head to Steve. “You're lucky you have her you know… she’s softened me. Slightly.” You stepped back towards Steve, who now laid his hand around your waist, chuckling softly. 

“You really don’t know half of it, she has a gift.” You wriggled in his hold a bit but he just tightened his fingers against you. “Thank you Thor for letting us try.” 

He shrugged at you both with a shake of his head. “I'm still saying that he wont talk to you, but I will show you where he stays when he is not hunting.” 

Steve gave a nod of appreciation while you reached for his hand and gave a light squeeze. “Thank you Thor.” You gave your own sentiments. 

The man looked at the two of you a moment, his eyes falling to your linked hands and motioned across the moors. “This way…” He cupped his hands, giving another howling song and the wolves joined them, spreading around Thor, these wolves were even larger than Mountain Packs wolves, giant beasts that were moving gracefully around there Alpha. You could feel the ground beneath your footfalls vibrating from there movements, the lush grass swishing to add to the melody of it all. Above them the thunder still rumbled with strong booms that cackled with electricity but had retreated from the fierceness it had flared up earlier. 

Your Little Wolf kneaded her paws next to the Alpha, lifting her head to inhale the air around them, it spoke of a wildness she was not used to. Something feral that did not adhere to normal pack constraints. The Alpha rumbled next to her, now and then dropping his muzzle to his mate to reassure her, but the pull to shift for both of them was strong. 

You could tell Steve felt it as well, the way he angled his body close to yours in a protective manner, his hand moving from a simple hold to pressing against your hip, wrapping around you. You tilted your head up towards Steve, your confusion clouding your features. He dropped his head to press a nip to your neck, whispering softly just for you. “I will explain later.” 

Thor paused in front of a wood that looked ancient, the gnarled trees had stories to tell. Shadows played deeper beyond the edge, enticing you to wander in. Your Little Wolf huffed slightly, breaking the enchantment you had fallen into. 

<This isn't just a forest Y/N, something powerful lives here.> Her ears flattened and you could feel her unease and the Alpha’s wariness sharpening, his ears pricked forward before twisting listening. 

What is it? You questioned your Little Wolf and she whined unsure. You felt the Alpha slip away, in the same moment Steve tilted his face up, his nostrils flaring. You knew he was scenting for any kind of danger that might come from the old forest.

Next to you Thor boomed out loudly, making it echo. “Come out Loki!” You and the Little Wolf perked, hearing the woods shift and groan, shadows danced closer when a streamlined black shadow emerged to turn solid, the beast was streamlined. His size shifting to grow larger in the presence of you and Steve, a sharp pointed muzzle turned towards you and ears twitched with interest as he took you both in. You were a bit taken aback when you saw Loki, but he paused just after the forest ended and you could see the tip of his nose twitching, green eyes with almost emerald qualities glinting with the bit of light that somehow seemed to filter from the thunderous clouds still rumbling above you. 

What do we have here? An omega to Rogers? A true Omega? Oh what a prize he really does have here. I wonder if he knows… A voice tickled your senses and the Little Wolf spun in your mind, searching for the intrusion. The Alpha returned to the Little Wolf, curling around her with a growl and a laugh echoed through you, not one that belonged to you. 

“Steve…” You whined a bit and he furrowed his brow looking at you, confused as well as to what was going on, feeling you through your bond. 

“Rogers is here to talk with you Loki, come out and quit playing games Brother.” Thor folded muscular arms across his chest and the black canine shimmered an emerald green while disappearing in a wisp of shadow and a sharp yip barking out from nowhere. 

A resounding defiant No. 

Thor shook his head at Steve. “Loki won't interact with Alphas short of me Steve, not since Shield pulled him from Hydra.” 

The Little Wolf unweaved from the Alpha when she heard Thor. 

<Y/N, we’re not an Alpha. Maybe he will talk to us.> 

Steve would never allow us to go in there alone. 

<It's the only way, Loki won't talk to Steve. He's too much of a threat to him. Say something, that big Alpha doesn't seem scared that Loki will hurt us.> 

You took a deep breath and while Thor and Steve discussed other options, you turned to the men, catching there attention. “Let me go in and talk to him.” Steve immediately barked out a no, but Thor tilted his head, considering what you were saying. “I'm not an Alpha, he won't be threatened by me, right Thor?” You pressed for an answer from the man and he nodded. 

“Your Little Pup has a point, Rogers. Loki wouldn't hurt her. I will escort her inside so she’s protected the whole way.” 

Steve felt his chest expand as he drew up to his full height. “I'm not letting Y/N go in by herself, I know you trust your brother, but I don't.” His eyes flared yellow, the Alpha close to the surface with concerns of your safety. You could see that he was winding up to call all this off when you reached up to grasp his face between your palms, tilting his head to look directly at you. 

“Alpha trust me, I know I can do this.” You stressed to him, the furrow in his forehead deepening as you knew he was at war with himself. “If anything is wrong, I will call you. Let me do this.” His hands circled your wrists and you felt that war inside of him. The same one where it was ingrained in him to keep you safe at all costs. It was all right there, flooding through the bond you two shared, your confidence, his worry. Steve huffed slightly before lifting his gaze from yours.  

“Thor, give me a moment with my mate please.” Steve requested and Thor moved away, closer towards the border of his brother’s forest, his broad back turned towards the two of you while he waited. “Little One, if something happens. Loki isn't a normal wolf…” 

“I could tell that as soon as we came near here.” You let your fingers press through his beard on his cheeks and slide down to his neck, sure to rub his scent against you in the process as well as sharing calming touches. “But he has the answers we need, Alpha.” 

Steve knew you were right, but the inner battle was fierce. The Alpha wanted to protect his mate, an animalistic need to not let you go into that forest, every fiber of his being was on edge because of it. His human side knew you could do this and get the answer to save their pack mates. You were confident, he needed to trust you like you asked. 

<Don't you let her go in there with that Alpha. What is Loki going to do to stop us.> 

Loki is not all Wolf as you well know, he won't tolerate the intrusion. 

The Alpha bristled aggressively, licking his muzzle over and over nervously. <We won't be there to protect her should he turn on her.> 

But Thor will be… You know as much as I do that he wouldn't let any get hurt in his care. 

“Trust me Alpha.” Your fingers trailed along the mark you had left on him, your mark that made him belong to you. The most sacred of bonds a mated pair could share and made in the utmost trust that you two would take care of each other. 

She is asking us to trust her. If we can’t trust in our mate, then what hope do we have? Steve was firm and the Alpha had to concede to him. 

Steve moved his hands to your face, cupping the most important part of his life gently in his palms as he inhaled deeply and tipped his forehead against yours. “Little One, if anything happens, anything at all, call for me. I will come get you.” 

The corners of your mouth lifted and he saw it go to your eyes, pride and strength that your Alpha was trusting you to go in his place. “Of course Alpha.” You lifted to catch his lips, nuzzling your nose against his. “I know you will come for me if I need you.” You embraced him fiercely, Steve let his nose bury in the crown of your head and then let you go against his instincts. The Wolf rumbled, anxious as he paced watching you reach Thor. His eyes reached the other Alphas. “Thor…” 

“I understand what is at stake. No harm will come to her, I swear it.” 

You looked so tiny next to the man, your head tilted up to look at him with a warm smile and Thor's tilted down to look back at you. Steve watched the same warm smile cross Thor's face, making your mate proud of you, how easily you had already won Thor over. You had come so far from the runaway he first met and your warmth spread so easily to those around you. Maybe Loki wouldn't be immune to you. 

The moment you stepped into the forest with Thor, it darkened. Looking over your shoulder, the emerald green sea of the moor was almost a picture racing away to be enclosed by old tree trunks. You licked your lips nervously and folded your arms around your body, sure to keep up with Thor. He was confident in his strides, the darkening vibrant woods was just as much home for him as the windswept open land you two left behind. 

The Little Wolf was curious in the new surroundings, pacing and keeping a keen eye on everything you were hurriedly passing by trying to keep up with Thor. 

You weren't wrong that the forest had a life all its own. It seemed to breathe around you, moss stretched across large boulders that sprang tendrils of plant life curling upwards to try and reach sunlight. Heavy thick trees were bristling against your palm and almost seemed to heave in sighs at your gentle touch. Thor glanced back at you, golden tendrils clinging to his face now and his eyes crinkled in watching you loosen from your fear into awe. 

“You feel it, right?” He chuckled and you withdrew your hand from the tree back to your body. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Its soul, the magic in it all.” He braced against a tree and inhaled deeply. “All of this is very alive as you and I, it's old and has been standing long before we claimed this as home.” 

You tentatively touched a nearby tree again, feeling tingles in your palms, making you shudder a bit. “It is certainly… like home, but not quite.” 

Thor nodded with a wink. “Still a baby over there, your packs are just starting to write the stories that will live on after you are gone. One day they will have a life of their own, just like this one.” 

Your brows quirked at his words. He's a funny man isn't he. 

Your Little Wolf curled her tail around herself as she sat down. <He is, but I like him. This place feels like we belong here.> 

There does seem to be a certain calling to be here… 

You two continued on and you risked another statement. “Loki is not like you, is he?” 

Thor shook his head. “No, he is not. But you have no need to worry Little Wolf.” He paused while he glanced around, inhaling sharply. “It's just me and Y/n, Brother, come out of hiding.” 

“I'm not hiding, I can't help that you are not a more observant Brother.” A cool voice came from above and your eyes shot up to a long legged man lounging in the branches, looking almost like he couldn't be bothered. Thor snorted impatiently and motioned towards you. 

“Y/N has some questions for you.” 

Vivid green eyes fell on you and a cool grin formed as he moved to sit up and slide down. He walked in such a predatory way, almost circling you. The Little Wolf's hackles raised at him and you hitched yourself straighter. You felt that tingle in your mind again. 

Why is it your Alpha is sending you in here for Omega? My brother is right, you are just a little pup aren’t you, so new to the world...

You snarled out loud, glaring at him. “You are not welcome in my mind, and I’m no pup.” And a quick withdrawal left you and Little Wolf alone once more. You could feel your Alphas curling warmth in your mind, even if he couldn't be with you. 

Respect crossed Loki's features and he bowed his head. “Forgive my intrusion. It's not often I'm sought out, except by Thor that is.” Thor barked out a deep bellowing laugh, clasping your shoulder. 

“You can't use your tricks on this one, she is small but fierce. Her Alpha has great respect for her.” 

Loki gave a slight sniff, his green eyes sliding over you as he remarked. “I’m afraid you are right.” 

You shrugged out of Thor’s grasp now, wanting the answers you came for. “Loki, our packmates have been collared by Hydra. Steve seems to think that you know how to break from their control. Please, is there any way to break the hold they have on them.” Loki suddenly appeared next to you, his fingers catching a lock of your hair and pressing it between his fingers for a moment as if further inspecting you. You jumped and pulled away from him, making Thor growl a warning at him. But you narrowed your gaze at him, knowing well that he was testing you. You had seen it all before while living with Pierce. “Don't touch me Loki, only Steve is allowed to. How did you do that anyways, appear next to me?” 

His fingers swirled slightly, green wisps dancing around his nimble long fingers. “Magic Dear. I'm part Coyote, a Trickster. Sure your Alpha told you?” 

You shook your head. “No… He doesn't talk much about his life in Shield.” Your Little Wolf crooned in comfort, knowing sometimes you were worried about how he would be so vague about it. 

“Well it was a dark time for the shifters.” Loki admitted and glanced at his brother. “I don't much like discussing that time either.” You clenched your jaw a moment, worried he was going to flat out refuse your requests but he dipped his head. “But for you Dear, you boldly come out here without your Alpha, that deserves to have your questions answered. Come…” He beckoned to you and led you away, Thor was not far behind. Soon a small dwelling came into view and the door yawned open, which Loki stepped in. 

Inside was different from what you were expecting. Books lined shelves upon shelves, seeming to go on forever. Plush chairs were dotted near a fireplace and wooden carvings dotted the entire area. Wood shavings littered the floor, making you smile a bit because it reminded you of your Alpha, the fresh wood scent enveloping you. The place was cozy, almost like something from a story book. Of course, this whole experience was making you feel that way, like some sort of fairytale your mother would have told you before bed. Thor heavily fell into a nearby chair, quiet as his brother waved at a seat in offering to you.   

Loki approached a shelf and whispered under his breath till a box fell into his hands. Easing it open, he pulled out a collar. Silver strands weaved together into an intricate design. “This one was mine, but it stopped working on me after a time. So it was just useless metal. Why Hydra had kept me caged when Steve found me.” He handed it to you and you were caught by surprise at how light it was. Studying it closer, you could see twists of coarse black fur wedged through it where it sat on Loki’s neck. 

“Why did it stop working?” You asked curiously and Loki settled down in one of the seats. 

“Simple, I willed for my freedom. Most of the wolves have such a strong desire to follow an Alpha. Even the Alphas themselves can be forced to follow a stronger one should they come across one. Hydra didn't know I wasn't a Wolf, not completely. I can't be controlled in the same way for long. But it's that simple in how to get your wolves back. Your Alpha has to challenge them for control. Assert that he is stronger than the one controlling them with the collars.”  

You handed his collar back to him and Loki flicked his wrist to send it back to the box, the box flashing away in the same green blaze you had seen earlier. “That's all it takes?” You asked incredulously. Loki shrugged with a nod. 

“Hydra though is led by someone who has a power that no Wolf should have. It's how they are able to control such a large and secret organization for such a long time. But such power can always be challenged.” He drifted off, looking away into the fire he had burning in the fireplace. 

You let the silence sit for a few moments before speaking up. 

“Why wouldn't you talk to Steve?” 

Loki gave a slight roll of eyes. “I don't care for Alpha’s, they always feel the need to challenge and dominate. I've dealt with that enough in my life. I choose to live on the edges of my own Pack, still a member should Thor need my assistance and the rest leave me in peace.” 

“Then why me? You seemed interested in me being an Omega.” The Little Wolf stopped her pacing for just a moment, head tilted in curiosity. 

“Because true Omegas do not need to dominate or be controlled by anyone.” Loki turned towards you, his head tilting into your direction. “You might always submit to your Alpha, but that's a choice you and your wolf make together, consciously or not. If you were to ever truly want to defy him, you easily could. It's why you were able to make me leave when I was exploring your mind.” You rolled your eyes a bit at the trickster, clearly not believing him. A life time of being made to submit to Pierce against your will and the recent incidents with Steve... you felt he had you mistaken. “ You can roll your eyes at me all you want Little Pup, but I know what I’m talking about. Omega’s can be a threat to Alpha’s or for the right one, there everything. Really depends on the Alpha they are connected to. So I like you Little Omega, you are a challenge for me.” He winked and you rolled your eyes, but couldn't help the smile you gave to him. After all was said and done, you liked the Trickster. 

“Is there anything else you can tell me? How did you get the collar off?” You asked and Loki motioned towards Thor. 

“That was me. After Fury contacted me that Loki was with the Howling Commando’s Unit, I went to bring him home. I can provide you two with a special knife made to deal with unnatural made materials.” Loki rubbed at his face and his front door sprang open, a rush of air billowing into the dwelling. 

“Now I have answered your questions Omega, I can feel your Alpha pacing my border anxious. It's getting on my nerves. Return to him so he can settle back down.” 

You nodded, letting your senses open a bit and sure enough Steve was anxious, although far physically, you could feel him. Nodding as you approached Loki, you held out your hand to him. He eyed it a moment, and then slid his own in yours respectfully to give a shake. “Perhaps soon we will cross paths again, Little Omega.” 

“Perhaps we will Trickster.” You bid a final goodbye and now you left a bit more at ease, having the information you and Steve needed to save your family. 

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

Plain Sight: Part One

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Word Count: ~1.5k

Warnings: canon violence, canon language, canon talk of death, methods of kill, and angst

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Criminal Minds. All credit goes to their respective owners. If there is any warnings that exceed the normal death/kills from the show, I will list them. If you’ve seen the show, then it’s the same level of angst unless otherwise stated.

Feedback is gold, and it’s the only currency I take

"Don't forget that I cannot see myself -- that my role is limited to being the one who looks in the mirror." - Jacques Rigaut

Being the youngest one on the team not only made you feel like you needed to work extra hard to prove you were worthy of your place on the team, but it made you feel like an outcast because everyone was so close and tight-knit. The only person you really knew was Gideon, but he was more closer to Hotch than anyone else since they were closer in age than the rest. The person closest to your age is Spencer which is why you feel like you connect more with him than anyone else.

It’s his birthday today, and everyone is celebrating at his desk with cake and trick candles. They seemed to be having a good time, and you didn’t want to join them and ruin their fun. It didn’t feel like you were part of this family just yet since you were fairly new with abilities they’ve never seen before. However, even if you weren’t celebrating with them, you still got Spencer a present. It’s special since you knew he would hold it dear to his heart. You were pretty proud of yourself for finding the exact item you wanted even though you were at the point of ripping your own hair out.

Hotch and Gideon were off to the side to watch the rest of the team celebrate, and you stood by them with your arms crossed shyly.

“Make a wish!” Elle grinned.

“Come on man! Blow, baby blow!” Derek teased when Spencer kept blowing at his candles despite them not going out.

“I thought you are full of hot air, Reid,” Elle joked.

“Come on, Reid.”

“They're trick candles, Spence, okay? They gonna come back on every time,” JJ caved in after seeing him try so hard to blow them out.

Derek grabbed the ends of Spencer’s big blue birthday hat and shoved it further down on his head with a huge smile.

“Oh, mommy to rescue you!”

“Mommy?” Spencer scoffed, shaking off his friend.

“Is it amazing he knows what he knows and he's only 24?” Hotch asked his friend with a shocked smile.

“Imagine what he’ll know by fifty.”

“I’m twenty-two,” you spoke up, causing both heads to turn to you.

“Why aren’t you over there with them?” Gideon asked.

“I don’t feel like I’m part of the family just yet. I mean, I’m the youngest, so I feel like they think I’m a kid or something. I don’t know. I’m weird,” you chuckled nervously.

“Hey, lil’ mama,” Derek called out for you when he noticed you off to the side. “Come on.”

“Yeah, come over here,” Spencer smiled.

Once he chimed in, the rest of the team wanted you to join them. Blushing, you hesitantly walked over to the group, and Derek wrapped an arm around your shoulder.

“You’re part of this team now. You’ve proven yourself,” he grinned.

“Thanks, Derek,” you smiled right back.

“You blew wax on the cake, man,” Derek scoffed playfully, taking his arm away to help cut the cake.

Spencer got up to replace your spot next to Gideon since Hotch needed to take a call.

“Is this homemade or store bought?” you asked.

“I made it,” JJ smiled widely.

“Wow, this looks amazing and I bet it tastes amazing too,” you chuckled.

She put the first piece of cake on the plate, turned to Spencer, and called out to him.

“Hey Spence, first piece for the birthday boy,” she smiled.

Spencer looked from her to you, and you gave him a shy smile with a wave. He said something to Gideon before heading over, and he took the plate.

“Thank you.”

“Birthday boy,” you sang, taking a piece of cake that JJ handed you.

“When’s your birthday?”

“Not long after yours. Mine’s in February. I’ll be twenty-three. Sometimes I feel like I’m too young to be here.”

“I know that feeling,” he chuckled.

“Sorry, guys,” Hotch interrupted as he set the phone down with a sigh, “the party's over.”

The team knew what that meant, so they packed everything they could as fast as they could so they could discuss the case you knew was waiting for you in the briefing room. Each team member started for the stairs, but you grabbed Spencer’s arm to hold him back for a second.

“Sorry, I just, um… I know I haven’t known you for very long, but I got you something. A birthday present.”

“You did? You didn’t have to.”

“I know, but, um, you’ll have to wait until the end of the case to get it.”

“Why?”

“It gives you something to look forward to, yeah? Plus, we usually end cases at night, and I know you were born at night so why not make it memorable.”

“You remembered what time I was born?” he asked, shocked you took the time to do so.

“Reid, Y/N, let’s go,” Hotch announced from the conference room.

“Why wouldn’t I remember that?” you asked, brushing past him to rush to the conference room.

Spencer looked at you as you left, and he couldn’t help but give a hint of a smile at that piece of information. The files were already passed out, and you and Spencer took your seats so that everyone else could begin. There was no need to apologize since Hotch just jumped right into this one.

“We're going to San Diego.”

“Not for the surfing, huh?” Derek commented.

“They're calling him the Tommy killer. Six women raped and murdered in their homes in the last three weeks,” JJ shared.

“Six in three weeks? That's a short fuse,” you whistled.

“And getting shorter. The first two were eight days apart then the next four in two weeks.”

“Rapid escalation. Do you think he's regressing to a psychopathic frenzy?” Spencer asked.

“No, he's too controlled for that. See you on the plane,” Hotch answered, getting up to leave the room. However, before he could, Derek stopped him with a question.

“Why the Tommy killer?”

“You know the rock opera? This unsub glues the victims' eyes wide open.”

“He wants them to see him,” Spencer noted.

“And feel him,” you added.

“Brenda Samms was found yesterday by her children when they got home from school. She had been strangled with a thin ligature, possibly a wire. No weapon was left at the scene,” Hotch ran over the details of the case once everyone was on the plane.

Since it was one of the smaller jets, everyone was in close proximity of each other with you and Spencer seated next to each other, JJ, Gideon, and Elle in the middle, Hotch across from you and Spencer, and Derek all by his lonesome towards the front.

“The residue on the wrist and mouth indicate that duct tape was used and then removed. Also not found at the scene,” Spencer remarked. “Brought it with him, took it with him.”

“He also started leaving messages at the fourth scene,” Hotch explained, reading from one of the quotes left on the mirror at the latest victim’s house. “This was on the mirrors. ‘Fair lady, throw those costly robes aside. No longer may you glory in your pride. Take leave of all your carnal, vain delight’.”

“I’ve come to summon you away this night,” Spencer finished. “It's a ballad from the late 1600s. A dialogue betwixt death and a lady.”

“A 17th century ballad?” you thought.

“Essentially, a woman begging death to live.”

“What kind of person knows this ballad? Are we looking for a literature professor?” Elle wondered.

“Anyone with an internet connection, actually. You should see what comes up when you type the word ‘death’ into a search engine,” Spencer chuckled.

“Reid, no wonder you can't get a date,” Derek teased, but it wiped the smile off the young doctor’s face. 

Leaning over the small space, you got close enough to his ear so that only he could hear you.

“Don’t listen to him, Spencer. You’re a catch,” you patted him on the shoulder before sliding back into your normal position.

“Reid, you stay on the messages. See if there's a deeper meaning,” Hotch ordered.

“It definitely looks like he ransacked the crime scene pretty well. A lot of damage, but nothing seems to be taken,” you observed.

“The eyes are the thing, the signature. The behavior that isn't necessary for the murder, but necessary for the emotional release. That's what he's there for,” Gideon stated.

“There used to be a widely held belief that the eyes record a snapshot of the last thing a person sees before they die.”

“Yeah, that's right. People used to write poems about talking to death,” Derek commented.

“Ballads,” Spencer corrected him.

“Whatever.”

“You think they'll ever run out of new things to do with their victims?” Elle asked.

“Well, finding new ways to hurt each other is what we're good at,” Gideon sighed.

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[crash-cinematic-universe]

a sickly satisfaction (ch.1)

pairing: jason dean/reader

summary: high school sucks. jason dean makes it a little better.

warnings: uuhhhh murder, language, suicide discussion

notes: i have every chapter of this written out already, so every wednesday I’ll release a new one <3 in total the story is 7,800 words! but there are some parts that are kind of short, forgive me for those.

            Eyes down. Walk fast. Stay out of their way. Three simple steps to get through the day. They had an iron grip on the school, their perfectly manicured nails digging into the oily skin of the entire student body. High School was a bloody battlefield in the war that is life. However, the epitome of cruelty, the ultimate teenage angst inducing, self-esteem crushing, happiness shattering war machine came in the form of three girls and their weak-willed sidekick. That’s right; my biggest threat in high school is Heather Chandler, Heather McNamara, Heather Duke, and Veronica Sawyer. Veronica at least has some semblance of regret and empathy-- she’s just doing what she needs to survive. Unfortunately, that means the rest of us have to struggle to keep our heads above water. 

            Thankfully, I have a sanctuary. A refrigerator heaven filled with endless isles of roadtrip snacks and hangover remedies. Of course, this junk food Garden of Eden also happens to contain my best friend, Tommy Geller. Tommy is 18, emo, and gay, so naturally we got along pretty well. He sits behind the register and lets me hang around until closing. It’s actually pretty nice-- sometimes he lets me do busywork around the store. Sure, it’s sort of pathetic that Snappy Snack Shack is my main source of serotonin, but you know what? There are worse places to be. 

            “Pop open a bottle of champagne, Tommy, because today is a special day!” I cry, pushing open the small class doors. To my delight, the store is empty. There are no irritating customers there to make me keep my voice down.

            “Oh? And why is that?” Tommy inquires, his jet black hair falling in front of his eyes. He’s tired-- and bored-- and I’m the perfect remedy for that. 

            “Today marks exactly six months since I first stepped foot in this town,” I grin. Tommy’s eyebrows perk up.

            “Really? Congrats, kid,” He’s humoring me a bit, but there is a genuine reaction beneath his sarcastic remarks. 

            “Thanks, Tommy. Y’know, that’s twice as long as my time in New Jersey and three times as long as my run in Nebraska. I have a feeling dear old aunt Maria might actually stay here for good,” I hop over the counter before grabbing a can of Coke out of the fridge. I prop me feet up on the counter, but Tommy knocks them down.

            “You know the rules, kid, no stompy boots on the counter.” I roll my eyes. He wipes off the place where my shoes were before organizing the lotto tickets. “Anything interesting happen at school today?”

            “Eh, same old same old. The Heathers were bitches, Veronica was desperately trying to keep up, and I got tripped in the hallway,” Tommy frowns.

            “God, those girls really need to get humbled,” He spits. 

            “You don’t need to tell me. They constantly act so… self-superior, as if their power doesn’t depend solely on whether or not everyone else hates themselves to believe they’re inferior to three teenage girls who are the definition of ‘peaked in high school’,” I squeeze the soda can in my hand, the metal crunching under the pressure. “They need to be more than humbled. The Heathers deserve to be dealt as much pain as they served,”

            “Watch it, kid, you’re sounding a bit homicidal,” Tommy jokes. If only he knew. 

            “It wouldn’t matter anyway. I don’t think they can die-- they’re like a Hydra. If you kill one of the Heathers, three more will grow in her place,” I sigh. Tommy looks concerned.

            “Y/n, you don’t actually want to kill them, right?” I hesitate. The silence makes Tommy worry.

            “I wouldn’t exactly lose sleep if one of them did die,” I reply nonchalantly. “It would be like a public service. Similar to killing the black mold that grows in the girl’s showers,” Tommy looks at me for a second, his expression unreadable, before turning back to his counter. 

            “That’s morbid,” he says. “You know that? You sound like a killer in the making.”

            “Sometimes bad people deserve bad things.”

            “You’re absolutely not helping your case,” Tommy laughs. I can feel someone watching me. It’s an odd feeling, but I brush it off.

            “New topic?” I ask. Tommy nods.

            A mischievous grin grows on his face. “You got a boyfriend? Girlfriend? Partner? All of the above?” he asks hopefully.

            “No, Tommy, and don’t get your hopes up,” I chuckle, before standing up and admiring the neon sign outside.

            “Oh come on, there has to be someone. You can’t possibly go to that hellhole every day and not see at least one hot person!” Tommy groans.

            “Everyone at Westerburg is either evil or boring. No one interests me and I’m not interesting to anyone. Plus, my attention is mainly focused on getting through the day in one piece, not getting laid.” I neglect to mention the stranger I saw in the Cafe yesterday. He was pretty hot, and didn’t seem to be a douchebag-- in fact, he shot two of the douchiest douchebags with blank bullets. A real rarity at Westerburg.

            “God, you need to get out more. I see some pretty people pass through here occasionally, I’m going to start pawning you off,” he jokes.

            “Oh, god, no,” I joined in on his laughter.

            “Yup, I’m going to give every hot person your photo and your address until you finally score yourself some arm candy,” Tommy can barely form sentences through his laughter.

            “I’m gonna to get murdered if you do that, Tom,” I giggle. 

“             And that would be damn shame,” A voice calls from across the counter. I look up to see the most attractive man I’ve ever seen in my entire life. It’s the same guy from the Cafe-- although in the bright convenience store lighting he looks more like a ghost than a man. His jawline looked sharp enough to slice me in half, his cheekbones high and defined. His hair was gorgeous and his teeth were really, really nice. 

            “Uh, yeah, that would totally s-suck,” I choked. Tommy shot me the most horrified look I’ve ever seen. “I’ve, uh, seen you around. That stunt you pulled in the Cafe was wicked, man, seriously.”

            “Hey, it was a public service,” He smirked. Tommy gave me a ‘holy-shit-I’ll-leave-you-two-alone’ look before disappearing in the isles across the room. I could see him peeking through the cereal boxes. “I’m Jason Dean, but most people call me JD.” He offers his hand for me to shake.

             “Y/n, Y/n Ln,” I grip his hand firmly and try not to have a breakdown over the contact. “Y’know, there are much less extreme ways to get people to fuck off than, well, shooting them.”

              “The extreme always seems to make an impression, though, doesn’t it?” His voice was a little bit lower and he leaned in a little bit closer. Tommy was freaking out across the aisle, his eyes wide as his hand raked through his greasy hair. 

            “That it does,” I grin. “There are quite a few people in that school that deserve certain... extremities,” 

            “I think you’re right,” Jason smirked once again. I kept my composure as best I could. “Speaking of extremities, I saw you and Kurt in the hallway last week,” My face is lit ablaze as I recall the incident. Kurt had been continuously pestering me the entire day, and eventually I reached my limit.

            “I guess they aren’t joking when they say the chin is the knockout button,” Jason seems impressed, although I can’t really tell because looking him in the eyes seems like a death sentence. “Landed me three days detention, though. That sucked. Although I guess it can’t compare to whatever they’re dealing you,” At this point, one of the regulars began approaching the front doors. Tommy sprinted out before they got in, seemingly explaining that my entire love life depends on whether or not I can play it cool.

            “Eh, what can I say. I sort of dug myself a grave there,” I spoke without thinking.

            “The only graves that should’ve been dug are Kurt and Ram’s. My one critique? Use real bullets next time,” I froze. Why the fuck would I say that? I mean, I’m not wrong but I doubt JD would stick around after--

            “I like the way you think,” JD laughs, his ears tinted pink. Jason looks at me, and for a moment, I look right back. There’s something behind his eyes, something festering and enticing. I wonder if my eyes communicate anything. “I’ll see you around, Y/n L/n,” 

            “And I’ll see you, Jason Dean,” With that he winked at me, spun on his heel, and walked out the front door. Tommy practically sprinted across the room as I released every muscle I’d been tensing. I slowly melted onto the floor. Laying on the tile with my eyes trained on the bright lights overhead.

            “Oh my god,” Tommy breathed. “Oh my fucking god that was-- oh my god.”

            “I know,”

             “Did you see him? He’s like a greek god,”

            “I know,”

            “And he was totally into you, like, totally,”

            “I should’ve given him my address. I wouldn’t mind getting murdered by him.” I say breathlessly. Tommy sits on the counter and looks down at me.

            “I think I need to teach you how to talk to boys,” Tommy sighs, shock still lingering on his face.

            “Pssh, I can talk to boys just fine,” I retort.

            “You almost collapsed when you saw him,” he says flatly.

            “That was--”

            “I thought you were going to pass out when he told you his name,”

            “But I--”

            “I genuinely believed you were going to vomit when he shook your hand,”

            “Alright! I give! I can’t talk to boys! You caught me! Lock me up and never let me embarrass myself like that again!” I surrendered, throwing my arms in the air before letting them collapse over my face. “He probably thinks I’m a freak,”

            “Are you joking? He was more smitten than you were!” This caught my attention, and I tore my arms away from my eyes. 

            “Huh? Elaborate!” I snapped.

            “You seriously didn’t notice? He’d been staring at you since you stepped foot in here, didn’t you see him? At first I thought it was weird, but then I realized he was smoking hot so I decided I’d let it slide,” “Comforting,” Sarcasm drips from my words. “Y’know serial killers and stalkers can be hot, too.” I rolled my eyes.

“             I seem to recall you saying something along the lines of ‘I wouldn’t mind getting mur--’,”

            “Alright, Tommy, we get it.” I cut him off in embarrassment. “Please continue.”

            “He comes in here a lot, so I knew he was alright. He was beet red the entire time you were talking. Didn’t you see the way he was in a perpetual state of stupid smiling? Dude, he was definitely into you and really bad at hiding it,” Tommy concluded.

            I smiled a big, dumb smile. I didn’t notice the fact that he was nervous, so he probably didn’t notice that I was dying, right? 

            “Tommy, I think we might have a keeper.”

            “Thank god, I don’t think I could stand to see you go to Prom alone. That would be too depressing, even for me,” Tommy enthused. I propped my feet against the edge of the counter, staring at the tips of my boots. For the first time in a long time, Tommy is silent. I can’t get his eyes out of my head. Then again, I don’t know if I want to. 

_________

[charkyzombicorn]

Obnoctios big red sneakers come to a stop at an entrance to an alleyway, the scent of blood from this direction is so strong he can taste it on the tip of his tongue.

Iida is panicking. For some reason, the second the hero killer got a taste of his blood, the teen dropped to the ground like a sack of potatoes. He was staring at the very eyes that have seen the life drain out of people, the eyes that stared at his older brother. "You fake heroes make me sick! Did you even look in te direction of the man that's nearly bled out?" Tenya barely moved his eyes to see the downed hero before he was faced with the business end of a Katana.

"Are you ready to die here?" A voice that was too young to be Stain's echoed through the alley, and Tenya tried and failed to see the source. He was ready to say yes, that he would die if it meant revenge for his brother, but Iida's were always known for their smarts and he knew dying would only bring his brother more grief. He saw Stair retract his blade slightly, looking for the disembodied voice.

"I need an answer, Ingenium." The hero name sparked something in Iida. That was right, he was Ingenium, not his brother, not his father, him. "No." It was said quietly, the teen trying to stuff down his desperation and fear without much success.

Suddenly Stain was off of him, jumping in and out of his view and seemed to be keeping up with a figure with no distingushable features. "What's your blood type, Ingenium?" The mysterious figure asked sweetly as if they weren't bouncing from wall to wall avoiding knives.

The blue haired boy blinked before stuttering out "A". Stain seemed to stutter as fell at the odd line of questioning. "Well, I can't well leave you alive if you know how my quirk works!" And he returned with new vigor, but not yet landing a scratch. "You were paralyzed around two minutes ago, so you should be able to get up in another four."

The figure seemed to be almost enjoying this, their tone light as a child's and still hiding his face from both Ikda and Stain. Four minutes passed quickly with Tenya trying desperately to move. He got to his feet shakily, and only then did he notice that the new person was only dodging, not even making an attempt to attack. A knife was thrown his way too fast for him to dodge, but his surprise partner didn't seem to mind catching the blade with his bare hand.

When the grey blur of a man was stopped, Tenya noticed how short he was, and saw tufts of green hair sticking out of his grey hoodie. Stain was panting like he had just run 5 marathons, which, with all the wall bouncing Tenya could see, he pretty much did. The small boy was only slightly out of breath, little pants not changing his demeanor at all. A trickle of blood came of the hand still holding the knife by the sharp blade. "Oops," Iida could see the side of a grin. "That's no good." And really it was the exact opposite of a good time for Iida Tenya to be staring at a boy lick his own blood off his hand and feel any of the feelings that stir to life in his still adrenaline-highed mind.

A dark blue meets a bright green, round eyes focused intently on Iida. "This is your fight, is it not?" And with that, he started walking toward the native-themed hero. Stain had finally collected his bearings and had his blades ready as he followed the boy with his eyes, paying the Iida second son no mind.

Tenya ran at him, kicking in his jets and trying to kick as hard as he could. Stain barely dodged, getting a small burn on his waist from the kid's engines. They sparred back and forth for a few minutes while the mysterious boy used his own hoodie to patch up the wounds. Tenya became victorious, knocking the villain into unconsiousness via faceplant 2 inches into the pavement. The teen was out of breath, and everything was sore.

Tenya's eyes shifted to the moving figure and saw a whole head of green instead of a few tufts. The boy was wearing a white t-shirt that hugged his arms, and damn was there a lot to hug, Tenya saw the boy tear up the grey sweater he once wore into strips. "Who are you?" The hero-in-training asked, cautiously walking toward him.

The green head paused for a moment. "Deku." He flinched at the obvious insult as the boy helped the hero to his feet. "Listen." The boy's voice was serious and directed to Native. "I was the only one here tonight. That boy saved your life, if you tattle it could ruin his. I was here and he was not." The voice was almost haunting, and Native nodded. "Thank you both." He said, pain obvious in his voice as 'Deku' led hin onto the sidewalk where he could be found.

When the other teen walked back into the alleyway, the moon shone just right on his freckled face that Tenya froze. "That was stupid, hero." 'Deku' commented. Ioda stiffened, prepared to defend himself when the freckled teen continued. "If that stunt was for your brother, you would have worried more about your reputation. You wanted to do that, make a villain bleed, beat them until the stooped moving, didn't you?" Blue eye browns pinched together. Of course he did it for his brother, why else would he nearly--

Tenya remembered his reaction hearing that his brother might not make it through the night. He nearly got himself killed tonight, he wasn't thinking about Tensei, he was thinking about revenge.

He changed the subject. "I've never seen you before, are you in the hero course?" Green eyes shone with amusement as he giggled, the voice sweet like hunny to Tenya's ears, with a touch of spice that intrigued the engine hero. "I'm not, in fact, I'm a villain." Tenya laughed at that, but Deku had stopped.

"You're not serious?" Tenya felt slightly uncomfortable, but Deku only gave a smile that most definitely didnt belong on a villain. "Yep, I'm a proud villain." Tenya shifted backward, suddenly not liking the conversation at all.

"You're a villain?" He couldn't keep the disdain out of his voice. "No, you helped Native, you helped me, why would you say that?" Deku sighed. "Wow, no wonder Stain got his panties in a twist with your whole presence. You probably see all villains as evil burglars in striped and lite devils with horns, don't you? You think heroes are always the good guys and the good guys always win, so when the previous Ingenium lost so bad, you wanted to be that big good guy to save the day, didn't you?" He didnt wait for an answer.

"You've put yourself in a box, Iida-san, and that's not how life works. For example, me. I'm considered a villain, I break laws, I've hurt people in ways you can't even imagine, because all of those people were quirkist to an extreme. I'm a villain because the laws let a boy with a big bank account and a powerful quirk beat a quirkless kid until their suggestion to swan dive off the roof was something that was honestly considered. The laws let people like Endeavor, who has a kill count in the thousands, 'protect' us, while he takes away people's homes and families." Tenya had gone pale at that point. "Heroes are people, Villains are people. Tenya, you seem like a fan of rules but what you did here could get you kicked out of your chance to be a hero." The big was pressing, his words fast and impactful.

Tenya had never questioned being a hero before, not since the day he was born into a hero family. It was always what he was suppost to do, the sky is blue, the grass is green, Tenya will follow his family's footsteps. But now, standing in a dim alley, Deku turning to leave, Tenya thought that no, the laws were not enforced hard and unbiased. But they should be, rules are rules and that's something that Tenya has always appreciated.

Before he could fully think it out, his hand was on the other teen's shoulder. "Wait." Suddenly his brashness had him blushing and his glasses fogging. "I-Is there any way I can help? I mean, in regards to your cause..."

Unseen to anyone, a knowing smirk curled at Izuku's lip, it was quickly replaced with an eager smile like a small child. "You'd really do that, Iida-san?"

[niqhtlord01]

Humans are weird: Fighter Jets

“Their fleet is several times our number, we must withdraw.”

Sifalim waved a hand across the tactical display to emphasize the point. The picture blurred for a few moments as his tentacled hand passed through it before refocusing.

A string of some several dozen red icons were shown to be making headway towards the coalition fleet. Approaching in a crescent formation the enemy was attempting to overtake the flanks of the coalition and encircle them. Sifalim could not risk the fleet in a single engagement and made to issue orders to withdraw when a series of green icons advancing caught his attention.  “Whose ships are those?” his question laced with an underlining tone of anger.  “They are the human contingent under...”, the tactician struggled to pronounce the human word listed, “Ab-mer-ll Covak.” “Get Covak on coms now before he wastes my ships!” shouted  Sifalim and his surround staff quickly work to oblige their commanders request. From the tactical display came a green light and from it slowly appeared the face of Admiral Covak.  “Covak, would you mind telling me what you are doing with my ships?” Sifalim’s voice, though clear, was spoken through clenched teeth. The rotating head of Covak pondered the commander for a moment before responding. “Greetings Commander Sifalim. I fear there has been some mistake as these ships belong under my command and are following my orders.” The emphasis of the “my” was all too clear Sifalim and only made his rancor rise higher. 

“You misplace yourself Covak”, Sifalim snarled. “When this mission began the leaders of our coalition agreed that I was to assume direct control of the fleet. You are to return your ships to formation and prepare to jump.”

“It’s “Admiral” Covak,” the floating head retorted, “and I fear it is you who are misplaced. Though humanity agreed to the mission we agreed to the practice of it, not your overall command.”  “This is no time for your politics!” Sifalim smashed his fist down into the table and sent nearby tacticians scampering. “The enemy have brought their main fleet into this battle. We must retreat until we find better circumstances for our victory.” Covak’s head shook. “That is why we did not agree to your overall command. Real commanders don’t for circumstances for victory; they make their own.”  “You fly alone then to your doom.”  Covak’s head smiled. “It wouldn’t be the first time for us humans.”  With that the signal was cut and Covak’s head vanished. “Shall we assist them?” a tactician asked. Sifalim waved them away dismissively. “Let the humans be atomized. Order the rest of the fleet to turn and prep for jump.”  “Human vessels are firing.” One of the tacticians brought back the display. From each of the human vessels a string of far smaller contacts were emerging from and speeding off towards the still approaching enemy fleet.  “Missiles? Did the humans learn nothing?”  Sifalim had painfully made clear that the enemy had advanced anti missile weaponry on their ships to counter any such attack. They would launch cylinders directly in the path of oncoming missiles that on impact with the missile would cover it in a specialized foam and nullify the explosion regardless of the missiles contents.  True enough the red icons of the enemy fleet began launching their own spread of cylinders. As the green and red icons grew closer and closer Sifalim lost interest and began communicating with other ship masters for the jump. 

An intake of breath from the surrounding tacticians drew his gaze back to the display and to his surprise he saw that every small red icon had missed their target corresponding green target.  The green icons were streaking ever closer to the enemy ships as a second wave of cylinders were fired. Just as with the first wave they too missed their mark and now the small green icons were swarming the enemy fleet. 

One by one the enemy fleet stopped their advance as red icons began blipping out one by one. 

“Get me a visual of the enemy now!” As happy as Sifalim was to see the enemy being routed he was more angry that humans had held a secret weapon in reserve that could have turned the tide of war.

“Enemy fleet on screen now.” 

Sifalim looked up and saw an enhanced image of the enemy line of ships. The barrels of their guns were firing wildly and too  Sifalim’s surprise even hitting their own ships in friendly fire. Each of them appeared to have a swarm of lights circling them followed by a string of explosions across their hulls. 

“Magnify image of the nearest ship.” The screen zoomed in on the closest enemy vessel, a massive dreadnought covered in ship killer weapons. Much like the other ships it was firing wildly.  Sifalim assumed it was no doubt gun crews lack of discipline given what had been the command bridge was destroyed and leaving a trail of smoke. It was as he watched the bridge he saw a something small and fast dart past the screen and then seemingly vanish. 

“Rewind previous ten seconds and 1/10 speed.” The screen rewound itself and began playing slower. “Freeze!” Sifalim knew he had saw something and with the frozen image he could now prove it. 

Frozen in display was a strange triangle shaped craft roughly the size of a transport hauler back on his home planet. Wings extended to either side of it along with a strange dome like canopy near the front of the craft which to Sifalim‘s amazement held a human in a strange outfit. 

“What am I looking at?” His question wasn’t directed to any tactician in particular as he stared at the human craft. A senior researcher stood up from a nearby console and approached  Sifalim.  “The craft in question appear to be crude propulsion based vehicles operated by a single individual.” 

Sifalim stared back and forth between the researcher and the display. “you are telling me they strapped engines to a hunk of metal along with a human and flung them into space?” The sheer madness of it all confounded him and yet the researcher nodded. “Essentially, yes.”

“How is it they have not been blown out of the void already?” 

“The enemy ships are equipped with weapons that track the engine output of their vehicles, but they only plot an intercept course with the craft in a straight line calculated from the moment they are fired. The cylinders are not programmed to follow the erratic piloting of the humans and miss. The enemy vessels themselves lack any such armament that can effectively target such small craft so close and it is my theory that this has led the enemy commanders to panic and begin using their ship to ship weaponry in an attempt to swat them away.”

As if on cue the dreadnought they had been observing exploded into a bright fireball, debris showering the surrounding vessels in a hailstorm of fire as the human craft broke off to find a new target.

One by one Sifalim watched as the red icons vanished from his display as the human vessels stayed out of effective range of their enemies guns. Even more frustrating was now he saw several ships that had prepped to jump turning around to face the enemy alongside the humans.

Sifalim could not help but think back to Covak’s words as he realized the human had achieved his victory in more ways than one as he would no doubt be promoted to the overall commander after this victory while Sifalim would most likely be demoted and scorned for showing apparent cowardice.  

He watched as the coalition fleet sped past him to join with the humans and reflected on the human’s plan. It was crazy, risky, and foolish beyond measure; and yet it had still carried them the day. 

He wallowed in his command throne as he realized that only a human could have pulled it off. 

[sknnymnne]

drowning (spencer reid x reader) part 1

summary: y/n mourns the loss of her best friend, spencer reid, reminiscing about how she always wished that they were something more. however, a case in las vegas reveals some disturbing information, causing y/n to rethink some things.

a/n: this is my first fic ever! i have some past writing experience, so hopefully this isn’t horrible. please give me constructive criticism, and let me know how i can improve :). i hope you enjoy! you can read part two here. (p.s., let me know if you want to be added to the tag list!)

...............................................................................

spencer’s death left a gaping hole in everyone’s heart. especially mine.

i was definitely a lot quieter. this grim attitude seemed to cloud over me, never fading. of course, i was constantly on the brink of tears, inches away from exploding from the pain that spencer’s passing caused. weeks after his funeral, my eyes remained glassy.

i wore spencer’s scarf every day, without fail. it didn’t matter if the purple fabric clashed with my outfit, or if it were 80 degrees outside. it was his favorite, and it had become mine too.

everyone had noticed my change in behavior. the glimmer in my eyes wasn’t there anymore, the glimmer of hope, life. i felt like an empty husk, walking around preforming my daily tasks on autopilot, just waiting for my best friend to knock on the apartment door.

spencer and i had clicked the day they met. four years, seven weeks, and two days ago. from the day we met, i had always wanted to be more than friends. however, spencer and his friendship was too valuable a thing to risk. so, i buried my feelings deep inside. stayed a respectable distance away from him on the couch. didn’t run my hands through his curls, didn’t wipe away his tears. my god, did i long for more. longed to say the words left unsaid, the ones spencer would never hear leave my lips.

“i love you.”

god, i wanted to love him in many ways, of course. i wanted to watch doctor who with him, laugh about inside jokes, learn new things together. pepper his face with kisses, hug him after a long case, lean my head on his shoulder on our way home.

at this point, none of these would exist in the real world. in the dream world, sure, but spencer would never come back. he would never walk through the elevator doors with a cup of coffee. he would never again come over to watch obscure german films. we would never split the last chocolate sprinkled donut. gone were the days of greeting him every morning, talking about each other’s weekends. it was all gone too soon. so fast.

i was drowning, and i was going down fast. grief was gripping me by the hips and pulling me into a state of ever growing darkness. there was nothing to grab onto. i didn’t know if i would ever be able to crawl back out.

...............................................................................

the first day back after his death was grim. as we reviewed the case file, a part of us waited for spencer’s excited voice to interject with a fact or statistic about serial killers. however, the room was filled with a mournful silence, accompanied by everyone’s eyes gravitating towards spencer’s empty chair.

“wheels up in 30.” hotch managed to whisper.

as we somberly packed their items, everyone seemed to be looking at spencer’s desk, his TARDIS mug still sitting in the corner. it was just the way he had left it. of course, i put on his scarf before heading over to the jet.

the case went by in a blur. nothing felt real anymore. it still didn’t make sense that spencer was gone. forever. they caught the unsub, sure, but that wasn’t nearly enough for me. all i could think about was spencer, how much i missed him, and how he died.

...............................................................................

spencer passed away on a sunday. ironically, the day of rest wasn’t relaxing in the slightest. it started when he began receiving fan mail from a “kathryn snow” in connecticut. she was just a curious college student full of questions, and spencer was more than happy to answer all of them. it was adorable seeing him so excited about helping someone.

eventually, it turned out that “kathryn snow” was actually “bryan evans,” and that bryan had an extreme obsession with spencer.

spencer’s life truly ended when he was kidnapped by bryan. bryan had tortured him, and just before we arrived, had tried to kill himself and spencer, ultimately failing at both. however, the damage to spencer was done. seeing him beaten and bruised like that it something i’ll never forget.

bryan was arrested, but escaped when he was being transferred to prison. every day, it killed me that spencer’s murderer was still out there.

spencer died on the way to the hospital.

we never saw his body.

...............................................................................

present day.

...............................................................................

“hey, y/n,” jj gave me a slight smile as she entered the elevator.

“hi,” i murmured.

“are you okay?” she rested a loving hand on my shoulder, her eyebrows knitted in concern.

“i’m fine,” i replied. “seriously”

“y/n, you know that’s not true.” she replied. “come on, tell me what’s wrong. please?”

jj always meant well, but i couldn’t bring myself to tell her about what had been going on. the nightmares had returned. of course i knew it was ridiculous to cope through them alone, and that they could compromise my skills at the BAU, but i just couldn’t talk about it. not now, at least. i was still drowning, and i was getting too deep.

“i’ll tell you about it later,” i managed to give her a small smile. “i just don’t want to talk about it at work.”

“okay.” she returned my smile, but i could still see the motherly concern in her eyes. “just tell me when you’re ready and i’ll be here.”

the elevator dinged as we reached the floor that the BAU was on, and we began to walk through the glass doors together. however, i stopped dead in my tracks when i saw spencer’s desk and felt my heart drop.

“what is it?” jj asked.

“his mug..” i mumbled. “it’s gone.”

ever since the day spencer died, i had made sure that nobody touched that mug. it had stayed in the same place on his desk for the past three weeks, collecting dust. it was somewhat comforting, knowing that would always be the same.

however, that comfort’s disappeared.

“i’m sure someone just moved it to the kitchen,” she tried to reassure me. “we’ll get it back, don’t worry.”

i knew that it was irrational to expect that no one would move the mug someday. an intern, and unsuspecting colleague. it was also irrational to think that spencer’s desk would always be spencer’s desk. someone else would sit there soon, with their own coffee cup. there was nothing i could do about it.

hotch breezed past jj and i.

“we’ve got a case.”

as we always did, we all sat at the round table, leaving spencer’s seat empty. it was a constant reminder of how easy it was to lose each other.

“four men in las vegas have been brutally tortured and murdered.” garcia winced as she showed the crime scene photos. “physically, they all appeared similar. it seems like our unsub has a pretty specific type.” she attempted to joke.

however, i couldn’t help but notice how familiar the torture was on each of the victims. the scratches, the cuts, the-

spencer.

“it’s bryan.” i blurted.

“what?” hotch furrowed his eyebrows

“look, the wounds are almost identical to spencer’s.” the words seemed to spill out of me. “we know that evans is meticulous, and the victims could be surrogates for spence.”

emily and jj both looked at me with that unintentional condescending concern.

“if you’re right, y/n, we need to get there asap.” hotch replied. “wheels up in 20.”

...............................................................................

we arrived in las vegas, and confirmed that my suspicions were indeed correct. it was bryan.

“it doesn’t make sense that evans would start killing just after he escaped.” derek mused. “he’s smart. he would know that we would learn about it and find him.”

“maybe,” rossi said, ”that’s what he wants.”

“what if it’s a trap?” i asked. “it’s definitely possible that he’d want us now that he got spencer.” i choked on spencer’s name.

“or he has reid and he wants us to know.” hotch appeared in the doorway of the conference room.

“what?” my voice shook. no. no no no. spencer was dead. he couldn’t be alive. he died in the ambulance.

we never saw his body.

we never saw his body.

“the emts who took him to the hospital,” rossi was just as shocked as i was. “were they even certified? did we even check?”

“two unsubs,” derek “evans, and another one in there with reid.”

“is he even dead?”

those last four words seemed to echo endlessly through my body. had this bastard had my best friend for three weeks, and i didn’t even know? had all my mourning been for nothing? was spencer even alive, or was i just getting my hopes up?

is he even dead?

god, i hope not.

[ohgoddard]

Fist of Fire: Omega.1.8

I am above them all.

It is a strange feeling, being above someone. They look like ants, so far away. Yet I am not moving, just floating. I scan the crowds of the parade, full of people cheering and having candies thrown at them from the floats. Cramped streets, even tighter sidewalks filled to the brim with people in their summer gear. Some dressed as their favorite heroes that will be in the parade. The heat came in waves, but it didn't affect me. This high up, the air is always cool. Music was always present, among all the other cacophonous explosions of noise. The rumbling brass of the marching bands, the explosive drums of the floats, and the click-clacking of the boots of the veterans of the Power War barely eke out the cheering in the air. It has been so long since I have been among people in this way, in such big groups.

I wasn’t used to the noises again, the sounds of their voices and screaming. Of course, I heard their voices while I shut myself away. Yet, I ignored them. They were suffering at the hands of their chosen protectors, crying for help. Why would I help those who dare declare me a terrorist, a traitor?

But I do anyway. I am the only real hero.

Maybe a few of those poor souls in the crowd will see it after this. An example is always needed to show when something needs to be fixed. They were finally beginning to understand, but I went too far too quickly. The Capitol should have been much later. The establishment of a state was too ingrained in them. Removing it will take much more than just the butchering of the real traitors. It was supposed to be my real confrontation with Whirlwind. He was always on the President’s payroll, him and a few heroes at any given moment. He never showed, though. Instead, I fought nothing. The police never bothered to go in until I left. The so-called heroes in D.C did not even try to stop me. Not even a reserve guard. The networks always disregarded that fact though. It was always a focus on me, the killer and butcher. It was never that the police let me in, the heroes didn't fight me, the President flew away an hour before I showed up.

The parade isn't moving nearly as fast as I’d like it to. Whirlwind is at the end of it, along with this other speedster he’s taken under his wing the last few years. Doesn’t matter. I’ve waited this long. I can wait just a few more minutes. All I’ll need is one. Just like at D.C.

All it took was one minute.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thunder preceded my arrival to Washington. Nature was on my side, as it should be. I was the oncoming storm. This was the peak of me, my movement, my actions. Across the nation, people were questioning those who supposedly protected them. This would be my magnum opus to removing the leeches of society, toppling the decaying order. From the top-down, it would be reformed in my image. A safer image. A better one. People won’t have to see their father shot on the streets. But that was all in the future. For now, I had one goal in mind.

The President left an hour ago with an Air Force escort of multiple jets, running away with his tail in between his legs. He wasn’t my target anyway. If I had wanted him dead, he’d be dead. No, the only thing in my mind as I flew through the heavy, cold rain towards the Capitol building was a list. The white marble of the building looked grey under the overcast sky, and as I landed down onto the steps of the building, thunder struck. The entire mall was empty, the Smithsonian closed, Whitehouse silently evacuated. They knew I was coming, knew that their time was limited. Yet, curiously, when I arrived there was no one there. I could feel eyes watching me though. As I scanned the city, I counted the bodies that hid behind the walls of buildings. Shaking men in women in blue, weapons hastily drawn and pointed my way. So-called heroes, standing and facing me defiantly yet refusing to take a step. Citizens clamored around the barricades, trying to catch a glimpse of the great eradicator. The police and heroes weren’t there to stop me, or to keep me from leaving. They were there to make sure no one was stupid or suicidal enough to attempt.

It's all infected. This is the only thought I have in my mind as I ascend those marble steps. They’re all infected. Not a single good soul among them. Not a single good soul within a hundred miles of me. Misguided, led astray by those who trusted them. They thought themselves above those who would put them in power. But they were wrong. And they know they’re wrong now. As I approached the doors, I could hear the desperate banging on the locked doors. Doors locked for me. Hundreds of people, left behind so that another may save their neck. A sacrifice to me in vain attempts to stop greater bloodshed. I heard cries of terror, screaming, silent acceptance in the minds of those who understood what was going to happen.

I was not there for all of them, but they didn’t know that.

I kick the doors down into the Capitol and enter alone. My sopping wet footsteps echo an empty hall as I walk towards the chambers. Carved marble and granite floors, extravagant works of architecture. A palace in any other world. Fit for those who think they’re kings. The first step in a long revolution. I put force into every step I take towards the chambers. I let the ground shake and echo, becoming louder and louder. I hear their voices grow quiet, anticipating my arrival into their room. The House would be first. And it would be public. The cameras were no doubt rolling inside, people-watching in abject horror as I tore the door off from the wall and threw it across the room. Huddled in groups under their desks, hugging each other as if the other day they weren’t at each other's throats. Pathetic. The heat builds in my eyes as I calmly walk down the aisle. It almost seems random who I select, but I choose only the most egregious offenders. Those who have passed beyond the spot of return. I pick no side, only my own. Concentrated shots of a four thousand degrees laser make short work of traitors and an inconvenience for the janitor’s vacuum. They all scream, but none dare move. None dare look away. For they think that if they defy what is happening in any way, they too will turn to dust.

I say none, but one did try. While I am mowing down his colleagues, he attempts to run for the door, thinking I'm preoccupied. To the cameras, I don’t even move. All they see is a sudden mist of red and a smear on the once pristine white walls of the House Chambers.

After my work is done, those I deemed worthy of living still cowering in fear at my feet, I face the camera.

“People of the world, listen closely. I am the first and the last of your new masters. I am the great reset. I am the great leap forward. Everything begins and ends with me. I am everywhere, I am everyone. The world shaped me into what you see now.”

Using my speed, I dart around the world. I make it seem as if I am levitating over every major city. Every capitol. My face, my helmet is seen everywhere.

“I am the Alpha. I am on top. A new order comes from me, and me alone. Do not count on your heroes. Do not count on your villains. There is only one master. One ruler.”

Fires burn across the world, ships and cars crash, planes fall from the sky. I cause them all.

“I am the Omega.”

Escaped from a mental institution, assaulted by a man I could kill if only I had not held myself back. I would have ruled the world had they just listened to me. Yet, I was caught off guard and made a plea bargain. A streak of light and I was defenseless. Another day and it was all back, but by then I had made a plan. Which all leads back to where I am right now. I stand above a parade, waiting to enact revenge on the person who made me who I am. I should thank him, honestly. Without him, I would never have cared about the world. I would have never been born. But he still needs to die. The path to him has been bloody and unnecessary. Sure, many needed to die and were dead now. But it all meant nothing if it meant he still breathed. My failure at Washington will not be repeated. The world is infected, and I am the cure. He is the disease that awoke me. I am power defined, power controlled. There stands no one beside me, no one above. There is only below.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And yet, here I am.

Wait. One person could have seen me. In that moment of realization, I chuckle. I was going to have to put down another upstart. A small bump in the road in my ambition. It would be a thrill, an easy warm-up for my strength. I inhale the sharp cold air. In the bright blue sky where I floated, I mentally chastised myself for not noticing sooner. That light shouldn’t have reflected and followed me the way it did on my way over. That heat was never that bad this high up. No, It had to come from another source. And as I turned to face it, I smiled.

The parade meanders, a large affair for a large city such as Boston. Yet, I feel something off. A speedster such as himself would never wait for the back. He basks in speed, he would never sit and stay on a float. He’d be here by now. There is no way he’d be late. Unless...

No... Unless he knows. But how? The hospital has not sent any news out, I have made sure of that. I had not sensed any signal leave that building, not even internal ones. No, there is no way he could have known. [i]Could I have been seen? Impossible, I flew in the stratosphere all the way here. No one could have seen me.

Bright white and red, streaks of gold, red hair. She was new. I have only barely heard of her if only through the stories Kiara’s father has told me. In her hands were two suns, harsh things to look at. Her feet were two fireballs, propelling her to stay level with me. Her look was fierce, streaks of flame dripping off her hands like molten iron. Her eyes glowed gold. Cute. A sharp scar across her face showed this wasn’t her first rodeo. It will be her last, however.

“Sunspot, is it? I will give you one chance to leave right now. You are clean. You have done nothing wrong. Your ambition is sacred, you have a life worth living. Live it somewhere else.”

She said nothing, though I could hear her heartbeat increase. I smirked under my mask.

“I only cleanse those who need cleansing. I am not here to butcher the masses. I am not here to terrorize. You are not part of my plan, they are not part of my plan. Do not become a part of it.”

Villains had their weaknesses. Heroes theirs. Everyone had their blind spots. I don’t. There is nothing better than me.

Still, she stood next to me, defiant. The sun started to glow a little brighter, which tickled something in my mind. “Omegaman, you are under arrest. Please surrender and come with me.”

Her voice, while confident in tone and steady, betrayed her uneasiness. Had it not been so cold up here, I would have no doubt seen her sweating. Her shakiness could be written off due to altitudes, but I knew better. She was scared. She had never faced someone like me.

“I don’t want to go to another funeral in Boston because of your mistakes.”

“Or what?” I finally faced her. She couldn’t have been older than 22, yet here she was trying to take me down.

“I have killed heroes ten times better than you. Thirty times more deserving. This is your last chance to leave, Sunspot.” I lower my head behind my arms as I put them up. She mirrored me, moving her arms into a boxing stance, her legs getting ready to propel her. This was inevitable, she wanted this to happen. Might as well make it fun for me, give her one more chance to leave.

She had managed to hurt me.

In a rage of fury, she roared and threw the sun at me. I opened my palm to catch it, laughing at her outrage. Yet when it reached my hand, I stopped laughing and started to scream.

What?! My hands and arms were red and black scorched marks, my brain a frenzy with synapses of pure pain.

Oh, this was going to be fun.

[inthedayswhenlandswerefew]

But You Can Never Leave [Chapter 5: Don’t Even Think About It]

Hi y’all! I’m so sorry I’ve been gone for so long...finals and job hunting got the best of me. I will be updating more frequently going forward. As always, thank you so much for reading!! 💜😘

Series summary: You are an overwhelmed and disenchanted nurse in Boston, Massachusetts. Queen is an eccentric British rock band you’ve never heard of. But once your fates intertwine in the summer of 1974, none of your lives will ever be the same...

This series is a work of fiction, and is (very) loosely inspired by real people and events. Absolutely no offense is meant to actual Queen or their families.

Song inspiration: Hotel California by The Eagles.

Chapter warnings: Language, very very very little sexual content.

Chapter list (and all my writing) available HERE

Taglist: @queen-turtle-boiii​ @loveandbeloved29​ @killer-queen-xo​ @maggieroseevans​ @imnotvibingveryguccimrstark​ @im-an-adult-ish​ @queenlover05​ @someforeigntragedy​ @imtheinvisiblequeen​ @joemazzmatazz​ @seven-seas-of-ham-on-rhye​ @namelesslosers​ @inthegardensofourminds​ @deacyblues​ @youngpastafanmug​ @sleepretreat​ @hardyshoe​ @bramblesforbreakfast​ @sevenseasofcats​ @tensecondvacation​ @bookandband​ @queen-crue​

Please yell at me if I forget to tag you! :)

You’re in the crowd at The Rainbow, although you aren’t sure why; this has already happened.

Freddie is skulking across the fog-draped stage as he belts out the chorus of In The Lap Of The Gods...Revisited, all glistening tan skin and teased hair, a pillar of nimble black leather; John is only a silhouette in the mist. Brian looks like something that’s crawled out of a cocoon: leggy and insect-like, the sleeves of his flowing white blouse like a pair of wings. And Roger...Roger’s in the back, of course—“the hardworking one in the back,” he always says—with a glittery black kimono-like shrug hanging loosely off his bare shoulders. He’s drumming feverishly, sprays of Heineken flying off his floor tom, his forehead and blond hair dripping.

“Whoa, whoa, la la la, whoa...

I can see what you want me to be,

But I'm no fool,

It's in the lap of the gods...”

Somehow, as the fog clears, Roger’s eyes find you in the crowd. He grins in that effervescent, blameless way that he does. And now you know for sure that this is a dream; because there’s no chance Roger could see that far without his glasses.

There’s a banging noise coming from somewhere, but it’s muted, distant, splintered like an echo.

Dream Roger is fading away, dissolving as the lights shade to black on the stage. He disappears, and then Freddie does too, and then Brian, and finally John. The crowd you’re standing in is a sea of churning, indistinguishable faces.

The banging grows louder, closer. You can hear a new voice now.

You swim up from unconsciousness and punch into daylight. You’re laying on your back in bed in a small, rustic hotel room; it takes you a second to remember what the world looks like now. It’s not November at the Rainbow Theater. It’s December 11th, and you’re in Rome.  

You sit up in bed and turn towards the door. Whoever is out there is knocking so forcefully that the distressed wood rattles on its hinges.

“Hey, Dorothea Dix, wake up!” Freddie is shouting through the door.

You rub your eyes as your feet touch the cool teak floor. The band flew into Rome late last night, and has one full day to burn before their concert on the 12th. You’d pitched the idea of visiting a few museums, the Colosseum, the Pantheon, the Roman Forum, St. Peter's Basilica, maybe even the Baths of Caracalla or the Temple of Venus and Roma; but it had been difficult to get anyone to commit at 2 a.m. when you were all exhausted and dragging luggage into the modest, quite geriatric hotel. Queen may finally have a Top 20 album in the U.S., but the streets aren’t paved with gold just yet.

“Darling, need I remind you that this was all your idea, you simply must wake up this instant—!”

You swing the door open. Freddie is standing in the hallway in a vivid yellow-and-black jacket and white jeans, tall boots, dark hair huge and curly, folded aviator sunglasses peeking out of his pocket.

“Get ready, bitch,” he says, grinning, then slips the sunglass over his dusky eyes. “All those gorgeous marble blokes with their cocks hanging out aren’t going to ogle themselves.”

~~~~~~~~~~

You start with the ruins, then end up at the National Roman Museum after lunch. Brian and Chrissie meander through the halls of cracked marble goddesses and heroes and piecemeal fractions of bodies, their hands intertwined; Chrissie took a few days off work to meet the band in Rome, and she’s glowing with the thrill of being reunited with Bri. Freddie is contemplating the displays, tapping his chin thoughtfully and chatting as John nods along and sketches in his notebook. There’s a photographer scurrying around snapping photos of the band for some magazine, to the vexation of the museum employees. They scowl from the corners of the rooms, their suits pristine and arms crossed, muttering to each other in Italian.

Roger leaps in front of a hulking statue of Perseus and mimics the pose. “What do you think?” he asks you, wielding an invisible spear. “Am I courageous? Divine? A mirror image?”

“You’ll have to work on the hair. And gain like a hundred pounds.”

He wrinkles his nose. “Pounds?!”

“Whoops. Kilos. A lot of kilos. But I think I like you as you are. Can I see your hands?”

Roger falls out of his pose, smiling. “Yes ma’am.” He presents his palms for inspection. The first weeks had been hell for him as his hands were worked into touring shape, repeatedly blistered and worn raw, iced and treated and bandaged by you each night only to be pummeled all over again the next day. Of course, Roger hadn’t described it that way; he shrugged at the blood and swollen knuckles, his eyes already alight with the promise of future shows. That’s just a casualty of fame, love, he’d told you. I’d take it all again and more. The last of his blisters have healed now into discolored callouses, rough whirlpools of memories from cities like Glasgow and Bristol and Helsinki and Munich. “I can get more pounds too, you know. I’ll be swimming in them. I’m gonna buy you a mansion when we get home.”

“Not so fast, blondie.” You graze your thumbs over his rugged palms and release him. Aside from your annoyingly incessant concern for Roger, your job hasn’t proved to be too taxing: there have been sprains, minor lacerations, severe hangovers, some alcohol poisoning, and one case of syphilis that you identified and sent the unfortunate man to a doctor for, all of which afflicted the roadies rather than the band.

“How’s Jo doing?” Chrissie calls over from where she and Brian are scrutinizing a sculpture of Apollo. She tosses Roger a smirk.

“Fine,” he replies briskly. “It was amicable. She understood. Nothing personal, just with the tour and everything we knew it wasn’t going to work out. Bad timing, that’s all.”

“Hm. That’s not exactly how she described it.”

Roger sighs, irritated. “Well, Chris, I really can’t control what she chooses to tell you, can I?”

“Shhhh. Play nice, love,” Brian coos, massaging Chrissie’s shoulders.

Roger pops a cigarette between his lips and moves to light it. A museum employee rushes over, waving his arms frantically. “Per favore, signore, no smoking near the exhibits—!”

“Oh, right, right. Sorry.” Roger tucks the cigarette away, then turns back to you. “Okay, no mansion then. What’s your fancy? Diamonds and gold? Tigers on leashes?”

“A harem of sensual Italian men?” Freddie suggests. Chrissie bursts out laughing.

“I hope not,” Roger says.

“You know what I really want?” you say, eyeing busts of Hadrian and Nero.

“What?” Chrissie asks.

“A camera. A really good one. To document all of this, our adventures. I mean, I know we have...” You wave towards the magazine photographer, who’s mostly snapping shots of Freddie and Roger. “But it would be nice to have my own photos. Carry them around in my wallet, force strangers to look at them, cover my refrigerator with them, all that sentimental stuff. So the minute you kids start making real money, I’d like a nice Canon. Or a Nikon. Or whatever the best camera is.”

“The Canon F-1 is quite good,” the photographer offers.

“Perfect! Clearly, I know nothing about cameras. And will need a hefty instruction manual. But I’m still excited.”

Roger winks. “I believe in you.”

As you all wander into the next room, Freddie spies a grand piano and sprints to it. He slides onto the bench and begins testing the keys. A distraught museum employee appears instantly.

“Signore, please, this is for the museum staff only, please signore!”

“Oh relax, darling, I won’t break it.” He begins experimenting with some light, jazzish melody.

“I love Rome,” you decide as you stroll past the Aphrodite of Menophantos. “Are you sure we can’t stay here forever?”

John frowns as he shades in whatever he’s drawing in his notebook. “It’s too bad we couldn’t make it to Florence.”

Freddie rolls his eyes from the piano. “Deaky, darling, this Dante’s Inferno obsession has got to go. It’s positively morbid.”

“He ends up in paradise,” John protests wryly.

Freddie snorts. “Yes, well, Florence is a three hour drive each way. Next time perhaps. Once we’ve all got private jets and Nurse Nightingale over there has her posh camera.”

“And we’ve acquired trophy wives to pose with us,” Brian jokes. Chrissie squeals and shoves him good-naturedly.  

“We could go to the beach,” John proposes.

“A seaside rendezvous?” you say playfully.  

Freddie hums and nods as his fingers fly over black and white keys.

“Signore...” the museum employee begs. The photographer circles Freddie and the piano, snapping picture after picture.

“The beach?!” Roger whines. “It’s too cold for that! We can’t swim, we can’t sunbathe practically naked, what’s the point? And we’re checking out that club tonight. The one by the hotel, what’s it called, Fred? El Fuocolio?”

“Il Fuoco,” Freddie corrects, amused.

“Ah. Forgive me for not keeping up with my Italian.”

“We don’t all listen to opera, you know,” you tease Freddie. He peers over at you thoughtfully, then continues playing. “I’ll go to the beach with you, John.”

He almost drops his notebook and pencil. “Will you?”

“Of course. I’ll have fewer opportunities in my life to see the Italian seaside than get tipsy and evade dodgy men at some bar, most likely. Although I will miss seeing your dancing.”

“Aww!” Now Roger is dejected, his huge blue eyes pleading. “You have to come with us.”

“Next time,” you promise him.

“This time.”

“Next time.”

“Fine.” He points at John. “Don’t let her get eaten by a shark or run off with some Italian playboy.”

John grins. “I’ll do my best.”

Two burly security guards arrive and begin shouting at Freddie in Italian. “Oh fine, fine!” he snaps as he stands and abandons the piano. The museum employee beams triumphantly.

“Fred, I think we’ve tormented them enough,” Brian says.

“Bri, can we go to the beach too?” Chrissie asks. “Please?”

“It’ll be chilly.”

“I have a jacket. And I can borrow yours if necessary.”  

Brian chuckles. “Okay. We can go. Ostia’s the closest one, I suppose.”

“You’ll love it,” you tell him. “It’ll be like time travelling. You get to stand on the same shore that the ancient Romans did, bury your feet in the same sand, watch the same sunset. That should appeal to an astrophysicist such as yourself.”  

“How poetic,” John muses.

Roger comes to you, shrugs off his black leather jacket, drapes it over your violet sweater.

“Roger, don’t—”

“I’ll miss you,” he interrupts, smiling, then presses his lips fleetingly to your forehead.

~~~~~~~~~~

The four of you take a crowded, decidedly unglamorous bus to Ostia and walk the beaches under the fading afternoon sun. It is chilly by the crashing water, and the wind whips across your cheeks forcefully enough to sting; but none of that stops you. Brian and John collect seashells, and Brian retreads all the details of the tour—all the things he wishes he could do over, all the things he wants to change going forward—as John listens, smoking and nodding when appropriate. You and Chrissie kneel in the cool sand and shape castles with your hands, giggle about how messy and lopsided they are, scribble notes in the soft sifting remnants of stone and quartz: Chrissie loves Bri, Buy Sheer Heart Attack today, Queen was here. And you’re thinking about Roger more than you should be, and Chrissie knows it; but she’s not going to say anything about that now.

When the boys come back, Bri sits in the sand next to Chrissie and begins to decorate her castle with the shells he found: scallops and clams and tulip shells and oysters and tiny lightning whelks. She claps and hugs him, leaps into his lap, pulls him in for a kiss.  

“This is terribly unfair,” you say, staring morosely at your now even less impressive sandcastle.

John appears beside you and offers a massive pink conch filled with very small, pristine, glossy shells. You gasp and clasp a palm over your heart.

“Really?!”

“Yeah,” he says, puzzled. “Who do you think I picked them for?”

“You’re the best. The absolute best. A treasure. I owe you my life. Wait...” You pick up a thin shard of driftwood and write into the side of your sandcastle: John Deacon, and then a heart encircling it. “You are officially lord of the sandcastle.”

“A prestigious position, surely,” he says, smiling, then passes you the conch. “Go on.”

As you place the shells, he finds a dried bit of seaweed and impales it on the piece of driftwood, then plants the makeshift flag on the tallest tower of the castle.

Brian glances over and shakes his head, his mess of curls shivering. “Chris, love, I fear we’ve been outdone.” Then he nods to the words you and Chrissie carved with your fingertips. “Leaving letters in the sand?”

“Promotional material,” you quip; but you can tell the wheels in Brian’s magnificent mind are whirling.

As the sun sets over the Mediterranean Sea, golden speckles of light floating disembodied on the waves, the four of you get gelato and browse through bookstores and wander down cobblestone streets. And on the bus ride back to the hotel, Brian points out constellations as you hold the conch shell in your lap and doze against John’s shoulder.

~~~~~~~~~~

Brian and Chrissie depart to get dinner when you arrive back at the hotel, taking the rare opportunity for a date night. You try to think of a more romantic destination than Rome. Paris? New York? Venice? Probably none of those. You push the images that flood your thoughts away: candlelit meals with violins serenading in the background, the warm cascading glow of streetlights, tossing coins into fountains older than either London or Boston, gazing over the table and into the ensnaring oceanic eyes of the person who won’t be there. Roger.

“Do you think Roger and Fred are back yet?” you ask John in the lobby. He’s still got his notebook in his jacket pocket, but he won’t let you see it.

“I doubt it, but let’s find out.”

You ride the elevator to the band’s floor, still clutching the conch shell, as John fields ideas for dinner.

“Roger’s going to want pizza and beer, but we might be able to get Freddie to go for something more swanky. Actually, he’ll probably order dessert first. There’s a restaurant down the street that I heard has phenomenal tiramisu and lasagna.”

“Oh god. I would kill for a good lasagna.”

“No need for all that,” John says. “We don’t have enough cash for your bail.”

“If they serve lasagna in prison, you can leave me here.”

“But then who would patch up our debaucherous roadies?!”

You laugh as the elevator lurches to a halt and the doors open. “Just call me up in prison and I can talk you through it—”

You step out and turn down the hallway; then all the air vanishes from your lungs. Roger’s fumbling with his key as he tries to get into his room...and pressed between him and the door is a raven-haired, modelesque woman in a short red dress. His eyes are closed, her tongue darting between his lips, his free hand skating up her bare thigh and beneath her dress. And suddenly you’re being dragged back into the elevator, John’s arms locked around your waist. He hits the button for the lobby then reaches for you uncertainly.

“Are you okay—?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, I’m totally fine, I’m...” But for some reason, your throat is burning and your eyes are blurring with tears. You try to blink them away and they drop down your cheeks like rain.

“You’re not,” he realizes softly.

“Goddammit,” you choke out, sobbing.

“Hey, don’t do that,” John pleads. “Please don’t do that, please don’t cry—”

“Oh god, I’m so sorry, this is so stupid...” You fan your face and try to wrangle your breathing. The way he was touching her...I can’t forget the way he was touching her. “I am so stupid.”

“You’re not,” John flares. And when he opens his arms you rush into them, burying your face in his jacket as he pulls you closer, drowning you in his warmth. “You’re not stupid,” he says, quietly but severely. “You’re wicked smart and wonderful and perfect, so you’re not allowed to say anything to the contrary. Alright?”

“Okay,” you whisper. And it occurs to you—as your breathing slows, as your tears subside—how incomparably comfortable this feels, homey even.

John clears his throat. “Hey, not to break this up or anything, but you’re sort of stabbing me with the conch shell.”

Incredibly, you laugh as you back away, swiping at your eyes. “Sorry.”

The elevator doors open, and John leads you out into the lobby. “Here’s what’s going to happen,” he says. “We’re going to go to that restaurant on the corner and I’m going to order a lasagna—”

“John, I don’t think I can eat anything.”

“Doesn’t matter. Did I say you were going to be forced to eat it at gunpoint? No I did not. I’m going to order a lasagna, and if you want some awesome, and if you don’t we’ll just sit and talk. And you can nibble table bread or drink so much wine you forget today ever happened, whatever you want. You make the rules. But we’re going, and I’m ordering lasagna.”

“Okay,” you reply, sniffling, smiling up at him gratefully.

The restaurant is teeming with tourists, and you end up seated at a tiny table near the back with very dim lighting and a roaring fireplace. It’s deliciously hot, burning away your misery; or, at least, making it feel as if it might belong to someone else, as if maybe you heard about it from a friend or in a song, maybe even dreamed it. You take Roger’s leather jacket off and hang it on the back of your chair. When the waiter arrives, John orders for you.

“One lasagna, the biggest one you have, and extra table bread, and uh...” He skims the menu. “Two red wines and a Coke. And a sparkling water. So the lady has a selection.”

“Si, signore. Grazie.”

When the waiter leaves, John lifts off his jacket too, then unbuttons his shirt to his navel. The sweltering glow of the firelight dances across his pale skin in a way that is mysteriously distracting. “Well, it definitely doesn’t feel like December in here.”

“I’m sorry, maybe they could move us—”

“No, that’s alright, I know you like it. And one should be sweating in Southern Italy, don’t you think?” He tears off a hunk of bread when it arrives and plates it for you. The conch shell lays on the table by the salt and pepper shakers, to the visible confusion of the waiter.

“Thank you. For everything, John. Really.”

He gazes at you with those blue-grey eyes that can look like either clouds or steel depending on the occasion. Tonight they are misty, like the froth over waves, impossibly soft. “It doesn’t mean anything,” he says gently. “I don’t know if that helps at all, but I think it should. It doesn’t mean anything to someone like Roger, what you saw tonight.”

You sigh. “I guess it doesn’t. And I’m sorry, I know it’s ridiculous, I know that, and I’m just so frustrated and...and...I get it, I get that I have no right to care about anything Roger does, which is why I feel like such an idiot for reacting this way, but I just...I just...I’m just so...so fucking torn up about it and I’m sick of being surrounded by it all the time and I’m...I’m so...I’m...look, I’m sorry, can you button your shirt or something? That’s very distracting.”

“Oh, it’s distracting, is it?” John asks, grinning.

“Don’t you dare—”

He undoes several more buttons. “How about now, are you sufficiently distracted?”

“John, no!” you wail, laughing.

“I wouldn’t want to do anything to distract you from your tortured inner monologue...” He removes his shirt entirely and tosses it to the floor. “How are you now?”

“Very distracted,” you wheeze.

“Excellent.” He smiles, resting his face in his hands, the firelight flickering over his bare chest and shoulders, reflections of flames in his eyes. “See, you don’t look so sad now.”

“No, I guess I don’t.” You bite into your hunk of bread. But still, the way he was touching her...  

John sips red wine and smirks teasingly. “You know...if you ever get tired of the celibate lifestyle...I’m always game.”

You laugh, shaking your head, and open the Coke bottle. “That’s very much appreciated. But I don’t just want sex.”

“I know,” he replies, solemnly now. “You want him.”

“That’s pretty pathetic, isn’t it?”

“I don’t think you’re pathetic at all.” That seems like it must be a lie, but John sounds genuine.

“You’re my best friend, you know,” you tell him. “I don’t know what I would do without you.”

“Certainly not get treated to authentic Italian lasagna.”

You chuckle. “I’m sure that’s the least of your talents. Veronica is a very lucky woman.”

John nods, staring down at the table now, pushing crumbs around with the back of his hand. “If you say so.”

And, in the end, you managed to eat your half of the lasagna after all.

~~~~~~~~~~

When you get back to your hotel room, it’s very late in Italy...which means it’s only early evening in Boston. You pick up the phone and resolve to use the last of your miniscule weekly allowance for a long distance call.

Your mom answers on the third ring. “Hello?”

“Guess where I am right now.”

“Hopefully on a date with that nice Roger boy.”

“Oh my god, Mom.”

She titters pleasantly. “Tell me, dear. Germany? No, no. Spain.”

“Rome.”

“Oh!” she sighs, steeped in nostalgia. “Daddy and I went there on our honeymoon! Ages ago, of course. But it was wonderful, otherworldly. Like getting lost in a fairytale. How do you like it?”

“I love it,” you murmur. “Mom, can I ask you something?”

“Always, dear.”

You twirl the phone cord around your fingers anxiously. “How did you know that Dad was the one?”

“Hm.” She pauses; and you can envision the way she takes a step back and glances up at the ceiling whenever she’s thinking something over. Oh, maybe I do still miss parts of Boston. “Well...you know Daddy wasn’t single when we met. And neither was I.”

“Yeah, I think I remember that part of the story.”

“I’m not sure if I can explain it, dear. Truly. I...” She drifts off, pondering it. Finally, she says: “I’d had plenty of other boyfriends. I’d been interested in other people. And people are all so different, they all have something unique to offer to your life, whether good or evil. But when I met your father...I just felt like I couldn’t live without him. Suddenly nothing else seemed possible if he wasn’t in the picture. Like if he wasn’t there I’d spend the rest of my life missing him. Does that answer your question?”

“It does, yeah.” You close your eyes and feel the dark Mediterranean night air breeze in through the open window. The conch shell has found a temporary home on top of the antique dresser. “I love you, Mom.”

“Aww, I love you too, honey. And you’ll make the right decision, whatever that is.”

You look out into the constellations that Brian introduced to you earlier, Aries and Fornax and Perseus. “I hope so.”

[danyka-fendyr]

Absence of Good - 6

Chapter 6: Take Your Troubles and Double Them

Okay so it’s a long time coming but here it is! I took so long writing this because honestly I was just super burned out and dreading writing it. So a part of this was written in small increments, but then today I actually wanted to write, so I sat down and -imagine this- just wrote it. Now I know I just did a fic where characters get injured but well... If two characters are two halves of a whole, the perfect yin and yang to each other, when the one gets hurt should not the other also get hurt? ...and I needed it for plot reasons because we’re finally to the point in this story where I’m storyboarding. Anyway, I hope it’s up to snuff since I actually edited this time.

Taglist: @dreamwritesimagines @rhabakoli

AoG Taglist: @pancakefancake @prettyboyspenerrr @youreasnack @alioop3818

Wordcount: 

Warnings: Extremely dark themes. Violence against children. Death and murder. Death of children. Torture. 

“Perhaps the greatest faculty our minds possess is the ability to cope with pain.”

-Patrick Rothfuss

           You were sitting in the bullpen, working on not working. Technically you were supposed to be writing up reports, but it was early April and everybody had spring fever. There wasn’t a single member of the BAU who was actually doing what they were supposed to except maybe Hotch.

“Hey, Garcia, I’ve got a fun fact for you,” you said.

“Am I going to like it or is it about serial killers?”

“You’re going to like it.”

“Then fire away!” Garcia beamed at you.

“Did you know that the average human needs at least 8 hugs a day to maintain oxytocin levels?”

Garcia looked like the cat that ate the canary. “So what you’re saying is…it’s actually beneficial for me to declare group hug time!”

Immediately she latched onto you with an enthusiasm that could only be achieved by one Penelope Garcia, and with a glare that dared the rest of the team not to come join in.

Some people might be surprised that Spencer was the first to join, but the people who knew him knew better. While the Doctor might seem stiff and awkward from afar, once he got comfortable with people he could be quite warm and affectionate. It just might take a few months or…years. Either way Spencer had no reservations about snuggling into you, and his head was a surprisingly good fit on your shoulder.

It didn’t take the rest of the team long to join in, cocooning you in an envelope of human warmth.

“Does this count as my eight hugs for the day since there’s like, a dozen people hugging me right now?”

“There are exactly 6 people hugging your right now and no,” Spencer said. “It has to be chest to chest contact to count as a full hug.”

“So this counts as no hugs?” You asked, disappointed.

“Don’t worry sugar plum, I’d be more than happy to provide you with an unlimited supply. Whenever you need a hug you just let me know,” Garcia said, patting you on the head as the group hug disbanded.

Not a moment too soon either as Hotch walked in to announce a new case. Nothing like murder to raise your oxytocin levels.

 Hotch made the briefing short and sweet, as he always did. There was a series of child abductions happening in Pennsylvania, which meant time was of the essence now more than ever.

“This unsub is escalating at a rate we couldn’t have possibly foreseen. He’s quickly getting desperate and has already shown himself to be deeply unpredictable. Amongst his victims is now 22-year-old Alicia, a nanny to one of the children he abducted. This unsub will go through anything or anyone to achieve his goal, and the murder of Alicia Bennet shows no signs of remorse anywhere in the body positioning or methodology. Wheels up in 10.”

You could feel the panic hit you like a shot of whiskey, burning in the pit of your stomach. You tried to control it though. Panic always came with this job, but it was harder with unsubs like this. Fast moving and unpredictable and ruthless. Something in you knew before you ever stepped foot on the jet that this one would haunt your nightmares.

Spence noticed your distress immediately, finding it in the jittery way you grabbed your go-bag and the shaking hands that made you a cup of tea on the plane before you sat down by yourself to think while the rest of the team brainstormed. After giving his contributions, he was quick to join you.

“It’s eating you alive, isn’t it?” He asked.

You looked up at those soft brown eyes and knew there was no use lying to him. He always knew exactly what you were feeling. You communicated in a language you didn’t even know, in the quirk of his mouth and the skim of his fingertips and the curve of your spine and the whispers of your breathing. A tacet tryst all your own.

“I don’t like time crunches.”

He accepts that as an answer and an end to the conversation. Except there is never an end to your conversations anymore. The silence just stretches into a requiem of every word between the two of you, a living, breathing thing still. Which means there is nothing awkward about you interrupting it, because the conversation is still going.

“Do you ever wish you’d just…taken a gap year? Or several gap years? You certainly had the time.” You laugh a little bit.

Spencer’s answer is fast enough that you know already what he will say.

“I thought about it once. After everything with my Mom…I almost did.”

“So what stopped you?”

“Well I brought up the idea to my Mom and her reaction was basically that I would give up what I loved over her dead body.” Spence huffed a smile, looking at you out of the corner of his eye. “What about you? You had the time to take a gap year too. Why not?”

You leaned back against the smooth leather of the jet seat behind you.

“I thought about it. When I was 16 I had this brief ambition to take a gap year to be an occupational therapists assistant.”

“That’s not even a real gap year!” Spencer elbowed you teasingly before going serious again. “So why didn’t you?”

“Well to say my parents thought it was the worst idea I’d ever had would be an understatement. I pitched them the whole scheme, you know? I would go and get my associates degree and then I could use that to get the job and train for a year then help pay my way through college while I was getting my psychology degree. They said that if I stopped for a year though I would never go back to school and get my bachelor’s and then it would all be a waste. So, here I am.”

Spencer was quiet for a moment, thoughtful as he always was. “I’m sorry you weren’t able to go after your dreams.”

“It’s okay. I’m happy to be here, so it all turned out for the best.”

Hesitantly, Spencer’s hand came to rest over yours on the armrest. “I’m happy you’re here too.”

You turned your face away from him, but you were unable to stop your eyes flicking back to him, your breath coming too fast for a different reason now. There were certain lines that coworkers just didn’t cross, and you and Spencer…you had been skirting those lines for quite a while. This was just a new way to push the limits.

 You should have known right away that it would be a bad idea to try to go undercover. There was a reason you didn’t go undercover in your line of work, the reason being it was stupid. But the best way to catch this guy might just be to masquerade as a nanny for a child that you were almost certain he would target. What made you so certain? Well, she was his after all.

Eventually, Garcia had pieced together enough clues to determine that your killer was a Mr. Derek Mayner and that he had a young daughter who had been adopted by an upper middle-class family. Her mother had hid her existence from him, but you could only assume he had found out since the girl’s mother had been killed when she was only two in a way that fit your killer’s style all too well. Unfortunately for Mayner but fortunately for Gina, his daughter, he was put in prison shortly after that for drug possession and a series of other crimes including aggravated assault and a few other more minor charges. Once Garcia discovered that it was easy to draw a connection between the girls who looked eerily like Mayner’s daughter, as well as Alicia Bennet’s resemblance to her mother, the chilling cherry on top of this case.

Gina’s adopted parents had agreed to let you pose as a nanny, as the other option was leaving their daughter almost entirely unguarded against her serial killer father. You had been the obvious pick from the team as you were the only one who was young enough to be a truly believable nanny. And who would suspect sweet little you was hiding a gun inside your purse?

In theory, everything should have gone off without a hitch. The adopted parents would go out for dinner at the same time they always did on Saturday, their standing date, leaving you with Gina. You would be wired, and so when the unsub broke into the house trying to abduct the sweet 4-year-old girl in your care you would speak your codeword and the team would come back you up while you got Gina to safety.

In theory, the unsub didn’t take you by surprise.

In theory, the unsub didn’t come out of nowhere and shove you into a glass coffee table.

In theory, your mic didn’t break.

In theory, you didn’t get abducted with a 4-year-old girl you were supposed to protect.

Everything was better in theory.

 You came to groggily, trying to gain your bearings. Everything hurt but breathing especially. The first thing you realized was that you had probably broken a rib. Well, not you. Derek Mayner had broken your rib. Wait…the unsub. Where was Gina?

You looked around in a panic, causing a sharp, stabbing pain to shoot through your chest before you caught sight of her. She was slumped unconscious just off to your right, and it looked like her tiny little body had been drugged. Something to keep her docile while Daddy dearest kidnapped her.

She stirred slightly, coming out of her drugged haze slowly. She blinked up at you with wide chocolate colored eyes for a moment before quickly bursting into tears. That was bad. That was very bad.

Before she could attract her father’s attention, you quickly pulled her into your lap, holding back a scream from the pain in your ribs.

“There now, it’s alright sweetheart.”

You doubted you looked like it was alright. You could feel the scratches littering your face and body, and you were sure there were some shards of glass stuck through your arms, fibers laced through your face. It didn’t get better when you failed to calm her.

“Take your hands off my daughter.” Mayner growled at you, slamming the door open.

“I’m just trying to calm her do-”

“I said take your hands off her!” He screamed, reaching around her to hit you.

The blow landed weakly, but the pain of it was increased by the injuries you had already sustained. It jarred Gina out of your arms, which only made her cry harder, her distress increasing. Mayner roared, furious.

“Look what you did!”

That was when your pain really began.

He dragged you out to a barn at the edge of the property, an abandoned house he had been keeping you and Gina in. Grabbing chains that implied a sickening amount of premeditation and perhaps more kills than you had given him credit for, he strung you up from the rafters, your toes barely dangling from the floor. With your broken ribs, the agony was unspeakable.

Mayner’s past kills had been fast, more business-like than most of the unsubs you dealt with. His primary focus had been getting his daughter, and his aggressive tendencies took a backseat to that. Now that he had her though, he was free to explore. And explore he did.

It seemed like the pain was never ending, exploding across your body. In the back of your mind you noted that it probably meant something that Mayner’s preferred weapons were knives, and he really liked stabbing. You clung to that, trying to escape to a different mindscape.

In your head, you were on the jet, discussing a case. Your case, since apparently you could only get so far removed from your current situation.

“Impotent, most likely,” Rossi said casually.

“That would explain the stabbing, but not the daughter. You think his impotency happened in the two-year gap where he was in jail?” Morgan asked.

“It’s possible.” Emily leaned forward in your mental rendition of the jet. “That would explain the obsession with his daughter. As far as he knows, she’s the only child he’ll ever have.”

“That makes sense. A man’s children are his legacy, and a man like Mayner would be obsessed with taking control of that.” Hotch nodded.

Mayner dragged the knife up your side, and your mental vision blurred red hot. You tried to focus, tried to bring it back, but it hurt. Gosh, it hurt so bad. You scrambled for any memory you could reach, any happier, higher place. Your brain supplied you with an unexpected one. You remembered Spencer telling you a story of when an old unsub he and Hotch had interrogated in jail tried to kill them. Spencer had talked him out of it by asking one simple question.

You took a jagged breath. “Do you want to know why you did it? Why you killed all those girls?”

Mayner froze, and a wild hope sprang up in you.

“I mean, that’s not like you, right? You’ve committed a lot of crimes, sure, but you’re not a murderer.”

If you could just string him out long enough, the team would come for you. You knew they would. They had to.

“I did it for my daughter. You wouldn’t understand.”

“But I think I do understand Derek. Because you didn’t have to kill all those little girls. But you did it anyway, didn’t you? And you liked it, right? I can tell you why if you just put the knife down.”

“What would you know about me? You’re just a nanny.” He spat in your face.

You tried to hold back your disgust, not to let any weakness show. “I’m a psychologist. I work for the FBI, and I was assigned to go undercover and protect your daughter. And do you know why they picked me? Because they knew, they knew that I would understand you Derek. That I’m the only one who can.”

“What do you know about me?” He demanded, lowering the knife ever so slightly.

“I know that it started with Gina’s mother, right? She was the first person you’d ever really killed. And when you did, there was such a rush, wasn’t there? You would do anything to get that kind of high again. It was better than the drugs, better than anything you’d ever done before. So then you wanted to do it again. But more than that, you wanted your daughter back. So what did you do? You went after your daughter, like any good father. But in the process, you couldn’t control your appetite, could you? You had to kill. But you could have killed anyone, anything. So what do we have to ask ourselves now?”

The barn exploded, and you could have cried with relief.

“FBI! Put the knife down now!” That was Morgan’s voice, strong and authoritative.

Derek didn’t put up much of a fight. Sure, he liked murdering people, but he also liked staying alive. You had broken before he was even cuffed.

Tears poured down your face, the excruciating pain and relief washing over you.

“Get me down,” you begged, a mantra rolling out of you over and over again. “Get me down. Get me down.”

It was Spencer who raced to your side, gently extricating you from your chains. Who caught you as you collapsed, yelping in pain.

“I need a medic here! Now!” Panic laced his voice, and you dimly registered that you had never heard Spencer this afraid before.

“G-Gina, is she?”

“She’s fine. Just breathe, okay? You’re going to be okay.” Spencer’s warm hands cupped your face, and you realized you were freezing.

“I’m, I’m okay Spence,” you tried to say through stuttering breaths. “Don’t worry about me.”

“Medic!” Spencer’s voice was a frantic demand now, but it was getting dimmer.

You vaguely registered Mayner, begging you for an answer as Morgan dragged him away.

“Why?” He asked. “Tell me why.”

You coughed, which hurt, but seemed to come secondary to the hot blood dripping down your chin. Summoning up all of your remaining strength, you looked Mayner in the eye in a last act of bravado.

“I have no idea.”

Then you passed out.

 You came to for the second time in what you guessed was 24 hours, except this time you were in a hospital wing.

“Mmmm,” you murmured quietly, shifting in your bed. “Is that morphine I feel?”

You heard Spencer chuckle to your left. “Actually, it’s fentanyl. They tried to give you morphine, but I convinced them fentanyl would be better.”

“And by that he means he bullied the poor nurse into giving you the good drugs,” Garcia said from your other side.

You laughed weakly, but that definitely still hurt. Guess the drugs could only do so much.

“Okay Penelope, you’re going to have to stop being funny now because that hurt.”

It seemed you had unintentionally caused the blonde distress as tears sprang to her eyes and she leaned forward to give you a very gentle makeshift hug.

“Oh, I’m just so happy you’re okay! Spencer’s been sleeping in hospital chairs for the past two days and we were all so worried! About you, obviously, not him, although we were kind of worried about him too because he already slouches so much and-”

“Spencer!” You frowned over at him. “Go home.”

“No.”

“Yes. You’ve been sleeping here for two days? That’s insane. You’re going home and you’re going to take a bath or shower, whichever you prefer, and then you’re going to eat some real non-hospital food, and then you’re going to sleep for 9 hours in a real bed.”

“I’m not leaving you,” Spencer protested.

“Which was all well and good when I was asleep and flirting with death, but now I’m awake and I feel fine. Which means you need to go take care of yourself.”

“But what if they try to give you morphine instead of fentanyl? Or what if they don’t run the right tests or they miss something that I would have seen or what if-”

You precariously turned so that you were facing him better, wincing slightly as you did so. “Or what if you went home and rested and let Garcia and the rest of the team take good care of me, and then you came back tomorrow?”

“She’s right, boy wonder. In your current state of delusionalness, you wouldn’t be able to catch anything the doctors supposedly missed anyway. Come on, I’m having Morgan drive you home.”

Before he could complain further, Penelope ushered him out of your hospital room, leaving you alone with the strong scent of hand sanitizer and latex gloves, under the bright white lights that were sure to give you a migraine if you kept staring at them. So you turned to the only other option left. You closed your eyes, stopped staring at the cursed lights, and went to sleep.

“Pain and suffering are always inevitable for a large intelligence and a deep heart.”

-Fyodor Dostoevsky

[jovialyouthmusic]

Special Delivery

I get ready to move house, and confide in a friend about my new admirer. 

Word Count 2790

A/N This is not my garden or my house, much as I would like to share them. Just allow me some artistic licence - after all, the ‘me’ in this story is younger and single (can I take a few pounds off too?) I don’t even seem to have written any fanfic in this fantasy. This is pure self indulgence, some fluff and a few tears are shed. Again, no allowances made for British references, if anything puzzles you let me know.

Warning - mention of the death of a parent. Get the tissues ready, sorry.

4 Ready to Move

‘Hi Martin – are you going over to my place this afternoon?’ I rang my close friend to spring the news of my new helper on him the next day. We had known each other for a long time and had shared a lot of confidences over the years. He was just going through a rocky patch in his relationship and was glad of the chance to get away from his partner, even though she would probably accuse him of sleeping with me when he got home.  

‘Sure thing Lisa, I know that garden needs some knocking into place.’ He said in a tone that told me his partner was listening.

‘Martin, I need to tell you something.’

‘I’m sorry, I have to go out to the shops. I’ll talk to you later.’ he said, which was code for I’ll call you when Sue isn’t listening. I acknowledged his message, went back to clearing my wardrobe and waited for him to call back.

‘Hey Lisa, what’s the goss?’ He said as I answered a few minutes later ‘Sue’s really on my back so you’d better make it quick.’

‘I uh – I seem to have acquired an admirer – or a brother, I’m not sure which.’

‘Ooh.’ he said ‘Is he good looking? If you’re not sure if he’s an admirer or a brother, he’s gay.’

‘You always say that. According to you every man on the face of the earth apart from you is gay.’

‘Not true, just the good looking ones. Don’t get your hopes up, Lisa. I don’t want to see you hurt.’

‘Well anyway, if you come over to do some gardening you’ll meet him. I daren’t trust myself with him, he’s not only devastatingly handsome, he’s got a killer accent and he’s really sweet and kind.’

‘Gay.’ Martin asserted ‘So you don’t have to worry – but I might.’

‘Martin – pleeeease.’ I pleaded. ‘Come and tell me what you think.’

‘Okay, but you know I’m going to rip him to pieces.’ he asserted ‘Not literally, only behind his back.’

‘Thanks – I owe you. Coffee and cake sometime.’

‘Sure thing. Don’t worry, I’ll be there to chaperone you. Your virtue will remain unsullied.’

‘I sullied my virtue a long time ago.’ I scoffed.

‘Yeah, so you told me. Gotta go, see you later!’

-------

As promised, Fabio rang before he turned up, just after noon. I was already knee deep in boxes, deciding that if I worked on my bedroom first, we wouldn’t be working in it together and my mind wouldn’t keep straying in the wrong direction. I had lain awake for a while that night, telling myself over and over that Fabio was just a nice guy and it wasn’t leading anywhere. My dreams told me otherwise, and I woke in a cold sweat, almost expecting to see his head on the pillow beside me, but the weight I felt on my hip was the cat stretched out fast asleep. He grumbled as I moved, then settled in the crook of my knees instead, heavy and warm.

‘Hola, Lisa.’ Fabio said as he came in the door, and I remembered to turn my head slightly for the cheek kiss to ensure that his lips didn’t land anywhere that might give me ideas as to what else we could do together that afternoon.

‘Hi Fabio, thanks for coming.’ I greeted him. He looked at the empty boxes sitting by the bookcase, lifting his chin and nodding toward them.

‘Those will be heavy. I will pack them for you – you want them moved today?’

‘It would help keep the work down for the removal men. Anything that can go in a box, you can pack. I just want to keep a few things in the kitchen so I can make tea and a simple meal, but if we get a lot done I can always stay at the new place. There’s already some furniture of Mum’s there, it’s not so much a move as a reorganisation. I haven’t decided whether to rent furnished or empty.’

‘How about upstairs?’ he asked ‘I can carry heavy things down.’ He was already half way up the stairs, taking them two at a time with his long legs. I trailed after him, hovering anxiously on the tiny landing outside my bedroom as he looked around.

‘No, it’s okay.’ I said, my cheeks burning ‘I’ve already sorted the bedroom and I still need to sleep here.’

‘Lo seinto – I’m sorry Lisa.’ he replied, but in stepping out of the room we came very close to each other - close enough to smell his aftershave, which was becoming a familiar scent that made my tummy churn. Quickly I moved to the spare room, which was small and cluttered with a little foldaway bed, but I had some empty boxes standing ready.

‘Nothing in here is too important. It’s just clothes and - well junk mostly. A lot of this stuff should really go to the dump.’ He looked puzzled again. ‘It’s rubbish, I need to get rid of it’

‘Okay, you find what you don’t want, and I go down and pack books.’ he suggested. After an hour or so I had some boxes and bags to go to the dump, and went down to see what my helper was doing. He had emptied the bookcases and stacked the boxes by the door.

‘Do you want a drink?’ I asked ‘We could have tea or coffee and then load the car.’

‘Tea of course, I play at being English.’ he smiled, exaggerating the word in what he thought was an English accent. I laughed and we sat talking for a while as we drank, then loaded the car and drove off to the council dump. It wasn’t far, and thankfully not too busy – we drove straight in and started to unload the bags and boxes. The council was pretty hot on recycling, so I’d arranged things into separate bags – clothes, shoes, books, electronic gear, and stuff that was just rubbish. When we got back to the house I got Fabio to carry boxes down from the spare room, and again we loaded the car, this time to go to my new house.

‘I’ve asked another friend to do some gardening for me, he should be there now.’ I explained.

Before long we drew onto the drive, where I noted that my friend Martin’s car was already parked up and I heard the whirr of the lawn mower. I backed up close to the house so we could unload. Fabricio stared at the little white house with the pointed roof, the front half of the garden taken up by mature trees. Martin came across to the car, wiping his brow.

‘Lisa!’ he greeted me, and came up to embrace me. He looked askance at Fabio, but the two men shook hands amicably.

‘Martin – this is Fabio. He’s from Argentina, and he uh – he brought me pizza a couple of nights ago, and he’s offered to help me move.’ I hoped that was enough of an explanation for now – I knew that I’d be going into detail as soon as we were alone.

‘Pleased to meet you, Fabio.’ he said ‘It’s kind of you to help Lisa.’

‘She also has been kind.’ he smiled ‘We went for a walk yesterday’ Martin raised his eyebrows at me, his sideways glance telling me he thought I was mad. I went to unlock the door and showed Fabio where to put the boxes, and once he had started, Martin grabbed me and pulled me to a corner of the garden where we couldn’t be seen. He demanded an explanation and I gave him a quick summary.

‘Are you insane, Lisa?’ he hissed. ‘Never mind him taking your virtue, this man is a complete stranger. He could be a serial killer. I could be answering awkward questions in a police cell as your body sits in the morgue and he jets off back to Argentina.’

‘Don’t be so dramatic. He’s kind and sweet, and…’

‘And so good looking I’d fall for him myself if I wasn’t a red blooded one hundred percent heterosexual.’ He scolded, waving his arms. He took a deep breath ‘you can’t trust him. Lookers like that do what they like with people.’

‘Whatever happened to ‘he’s gay’?’ I asked. Martin grimaced.

‘He could have anyone he likes, he probably swings both ways. He’s probably got some STD. Drop him Lisa, drop him like a hot thing’

‘Gah, I knew I shouldn’t have asked you’ I grumbled ‘Go back to mowing the lawn, I’m helping Fabio.’ I started back toward the house.

‘What kind of name is Fabio?’ he gesticulated. ‘He’s trouble, Lisa, and don’t forget I said so.’

‘You’re jaded and cynical.’ I hissed. He looked sheepish.

‘I’m sorry Lisa, maybe I’m going over the top. I can see you’re determined to carry on with him. Just promise you’ll be careful’ he pleaded.

‘Careful is my middle name, that’s why I’m single.’ I snapped back. I could see Fabio taking another box into the house, and followed him. ‘I deserve a little excitement for once.’ I threw over my shoulder. But walking out in the Lakes and introducing Fabio to fish and chips wasn’t very exciting, I realised.

But Fabio was exciting, and it was the principle of the matter.

--------

Martin was called back home before Fabio had finished, and I walked through the house going over the pieces of furniture I wanted to keep and those I wanted moved back to the terraced house. I’d already cleared through the whole place throwing out unwanted junk and selling other pieces. I made a list as I went, and Fabio went outside to get some fresh air. I stopped in the downstairs bedroom, where I had found my mother only a few months ago. I found tears starting to my eyes, and I tried to blink them away as Fabio called from the kitchen as he came in again.

‘I can make tea.’ he shouted, but I couldn’t answer as my throat was tight and it was hard to breathe for the sob that threatened to bubble up. Suddenly he was in the doorway as I stood stock still staring at where the bed had been.

‘Do you want any…’ he started, and his voice faded as he caught sight of me. I made a superhuman effort to pull myself together, but failed spectacularly as my voice turned to an unintelligible squeak and the sob escaped at last. In an instant he was holding me against his broad chest, arms wrapped around me, gently pulling my head into his shoulder. I melted into him and let go, allowing the tears to flow. I had only cried once, at the funeral, and standing in her old room just brought it all back.

‘Shhh.’ he said soothingly. ‘It’s okay, it’s okay.’ He felt so solid – so safe.

‘I – I’m so – sorry.’ I blubbered. ‘This was her room. I found her…’ He rubbed my back soothingly.

‘Is okay to cry, you don’t have to be sorry.’

‘I thought I’d got over it.’ I sniffled after a while, when the tears and sobs had subsided.

‘It takes time. Perhaps we go back to the other house?’

‘I – I need to gather myself together.’ I said as he let me go to pick up a box of tissues that was on the windowsill. That almost made me start again, as it was the brand she used all the time, and had probably bought herself when I had taken her on her weekly shopping trips. I wondered how I would cope living in the house with so many memories. I blew my nose and mopped at my eyes. I laughed as he stood protectively watching me. ‘I must look a sight. Your shirt is wet - and slobbery, sorry.’ I held the box of tissues out to him.

‘It doesn’t matter.’ he reassured me, taking one and dabbing at his shirt. ‘Is sad that your mother died, but she wouldn’t want you to be unhappy’ I laughed again, blowing my nose.

‘She always said we should just have a big party when she’d gone.’

‘And did you?’

‘Just a little one, a sort of reception.’

‘Then perhaps you should have a party when you move in’ he smiled ‘We also had a big party when mi abuelo – my mother’s father passed away.’

‘That’s a nice idea. Did you mention tea? Perhaps I’ll feel better when I’ve had some.’ He took my hand and lead me to the kitchen so I could show him where everything was.

‘There’s a packet of biscuits in the cupboard.’ I pointed. He reached in and got out the chocolate biscuits. Tea made and biscuits on a plate, we took them outside where a table and two chairs were set up under the apple tree.

‘I’m beginning to wonder if I’ve made the right decision.’ I mused as I sipped my tea. He nodded and waited me for me to go on. ‘This is a bigger house, and I’m on my own. The other one is smaller, but it’s close to the shops and cheaper to run. I need a car to live here’

‘How long since your mother die?’ he asked.

‘Six months.’ I replied.

‘Is not very long.’ he said ‘you can…’ he paused and corrected himself ‘Can you change where you stay?’

‘At the moment, yes.’ I replied ‘I can live in either place. It’s a difficult decision.’ I looked around ‘This place would be better for a family.’

‘You don’t want to have children?’ he asked. I shrugged.

‘I’m single, it’s not the sort of decision I can make right now.’

‘If you could, would you?’ I smiled.

‘It would depend on my partner’ I replied ‘With the right one, yes.’ He smiled ruefully.

‘I am the only single one in my family.’ he said ‘Mi madre - always she say ‘when are you getting a girlfriend? When will you marry?’ He swirled the tea in his cup and gazed at it. ‘The right person – I never find her. I’m always travelling.’ His phone beeped and he took it out to look at it. ‘I need to get back and get ready for work. You are okay to take me? I can call a taxi.’

‘I’ll be fine to drive. Thankyou so much for helping – and I’m sorry I cried on you.’

‘Is okay, I’m glad I can help.’ He said gently. ‘And tomorrow?’ He asked.

‘I think I need some time to think things over, and I’ve moved most things now.’ His face dropped a little.

‘Okay, but you call me if you need – someone to talk to?’

‘Thankyou. I promise I’ll call you if I need anything.’

‘If you like, we can go out and eat.’ he said gently ‘I like to take you out, you don’t have to worry about what house to be in.’

‘That would be nice, thankyou.’ I got up and picked up the empty cups, taking them to wash up before I locked the house up.

‘Where will you stay tonight?’ he asked as we drove back into town.

‘The town house, I’ve still got Ginger to look after. It won’t be easy getting him used to his new home, though he’ll probably love the garden.’

‘He will be fine.’ he reassured me ‘Okay, you drop me at my flat please.’ We drove the rest of the short way in silence, and I felt a sense of loss as I parked on his street. He turned to me and looked me in the eye, his face full of concern.

‘Are you alright now? He asked, and I nodded ‘I hope you find out what to do. Remember, call me if you need. We can go out soon, yes?’ I nodded.

‘If I don’t call you tomorrow, I will the day after. Thankyou Fabio’ He leaned across and kissed me on the cheek again, but this time he drew back a little and looked searchingly into my eyes again. The hair on the back of my neck stood up.

‘I’d like to be more than a brother.’ he said quietly, brushing my cheek with the back of his hand. I managed a tiny nod and a weak smile, but couldn’t speak. He paused for a beat longer then got out of the car, leaving me to pull my wits about me and drive home.

[swellwriting]

LOVER Pt.1

- I Forgot That You Existed -

Bucky x Reader/ The Winter Soldier x Reader

A/N: Welcome to the beginning of this journey, hope you are excited for the rest of the story, please let me know what you think, like/ leave a comment/ reblog and all that stuff it’s really appreciated :))

Word Count: 2.7k      Series Masterlist   Part 2

Warnings: Just violence for this chapter.

Hydra had fallen and S.H.E.I.L.D had fallen with it, given they were truly one and the same in the end. But just because the secret was out, it did not mean that Hydra had gone extinct. They thrived working in the shadows and casting new light just made more shadows in new places for them to hide. Like rats they scurry from one safe place to another, making new hidden bases, moving back and rebuilding old ones. That was their dumbest tactic.

On their tails, they had the Avengers chasing them, and the Avengers weren’t easy to hide from since they seemed to be growing in numbers every day.

To make matters worse for them, because you just loved to make things worse for the organization that ruined your life and stole it from you in more ways than you could count, they had you, their very own prized “Asset Number 2” who was living just to continue to kill them all. You wouldn’t stop until you could safely say that Hydra was a thing of the past.

And any new organizations like Hydra that came up, you would put their fire out before they could burn someone else as they did to you, as they did to him.

You would search for intel, scan digital global maps, return to old bases trying to find where the disease of Hydra had spread to next. Hydra was right to call themselves by this name, Lerneaen Hydra being the type of monster that when you cut one head off, two more would grow in its place. It was tiring chasing after the “heads” but what else was their really to do with your life, with your abilities, work in a small town diner? Not a chance.

You consider for a moment what it would be like, serving drinks with a cherry fake smile, winking at men that made your stomach curl for an extra tip, and then bringing them out back and slitting their throats for trying to put a hand up your short uniform skirt? It would just never work out.

The explosive device you had set on the door goes off, blowing your hair back and spreading a bit of heat against your cheeks.

“That was a close one.” You thought aloud, feeling your face to make sure your eyebrows were still there. You had been looking into this specific base for a long time, you were tired of trying to figure out passwords and lock codes so you did a small heist of the local police department armoury and decided the loud and proud approach was more your style today. The alarms blared like music to your ears.

“That’s right, panic, scurry around like rats, grab a weapon, it won’t help you.” You say in a sing-song voice, purely for your own amusement, it had been a long while since you had had a partner to joke with.

You grab your .44 magnum revolver from your thigh holster, lean up against the wall and listen for nearing footsteps around the corner, you check and make sure you have all nine bullets loaded and when you hear the tip tap of the scurrying rats you duck down and peer around the corner, shooting upward as the men run towards you in blind panic. There were six of them, you counted each one as you put a bullet in their heads, even as they realized you were there and went to turn and run you were too fast.

You took a moment to admire your work because hell if you didn’t who else would?

The men wore bleachy white lab coats now stained in their own dark blood, “damn lab rats,” you say with a spite filled yet satisfied grunt as you spit on their bodies.

You look down the hallway, no one else seems to be there but you know better than to waltz down there with only three bullets left. You grab a grenade off your hip, pull the pin and hold it to your lips as you count to three before dramatically rolling it down the long hallway like a bowling ball until it hits the door at the end and stops.

You hear men begin to yell “grenade” but your timing’s too perfect, they don’t even finish the word before their lips are probably blown right off their faces.

“Strike!” You congratulate your self as you slowly stride down the hallway, a swagger to your step. Fuck a diner, this was what you were good at. You excelled at this.

One of the men wasn’t quite dead, you walk up to him, stick the heel of your boot into his chest where the skin is torn open and then kiss the blade of your knife before pushing it through his heart. You fake a frown as you watch the light leave his eyes.

“Awe just a spare, you ruined my streak!”

As if human lives were equivalent to bowling pins, but in your mind, the lives of Hydra officers were lower, even lower than an inanimate object, but can anyone blame you, they treated you the same way.

You skip down the hallway, twirling your knife in your hands until you think you hear a noise, holstering your knife you grab your prized AP4 gun off your back and hold it up to your line of sight, tired of the dramatics and wanting to see Hydra blood splattered on the walls of their underground steel hell box.

You find nothing and no one as you kick the door to the lab open.

In total there were only a few lab rats and couple meek soldier mice? Hydra must be feeling the pressure you’ve been putting on them lately, good.

You plug in your USB and start the download of all their files, this will help you figure out what Hydra’s up to and where their other basses might be.

You hear a noise down the hall, one expertly quiet footstep that only a super-soldier would notice, you should have checked the surroundings before you left your back so open, someone comes in and you raise your gun at them about to yell at them to drop their weapon, until you realize you are being held up by a man with a bow and arrow.

You laugh for a moment, he shoots an arrow as you lower your gun and you catch it, breaking it in half thanks to your super-soldier strength and laugh. Your laugh fades to shock when someone walks in beside him, his gun is covering part of his face but you recognize that metal arm, that messy hair that needs to be trimmed, his face as he lowers the gun a bit to look at you.

“Winter?” You ask, losing all of your focus as your mind panics and before you realize the stupid arrow guy shot again, right into your stomach, it feels like a sharp pain, it goes straight up your spine and into your head making your vision go blank and your stomach ache. You’re lying on the ground, when did you fall?

“Fuck,” you say but it comes out so quiet and you feel so weak, you squeeze your fingers to stay awake, to focus but something is wrong, something is so very wrong.

You hear faint footsteps.

“Someone already cleared out this base, I’m assuming it’s our gal there that you shot in the stomach without thinking.” Says a voice you swear sounds like Tony Stark, or at least how he sounds on tv.

“She was pointing a gun at me!” Clint defends and Bucky chuckles as he walks over to you, you’re alive and struggling on the floor, like an animal, helpless and visibly angry about it as you grab at your stomach.

“She’s not dead,” Bucky confirms as he grabs your hand, but he doesn’t look at you like he knows who you are, he doesn’t look sad to see you dying on the floor. And as the pain fills your body, as your head pounds against your skull, your eyes water, your mouth tastes tangy like metal you realize he has no idea who you are, your eyes go wide as you desperately try to speak to him, but you spit up blood which horrifies him.

“Impossible, I’m using those arrows you made me Tony, you said instant kill, that doesn’t look instant.”

“They are poison coated, Legolas, the poison should kill any normal person within seconds, seems our gal here is both a badass Hydra killer and a special enhanced. Barnes bring her on the jet, let’s nuke this joint.”

Clint instantly feels bad as he watches Bucky carry you away, how was he supposed to know you had killed those guys in the hallway, he came in after Nat and Cap who went into a different room, so he just assumed they had taken care of them. He looks at the small pool of blood you left behind on the ground and then grabs your USB, putting it in his pocket and hoping he can give it to you later.

You are only partially conscious, conscious enough to hear and to feel the pain circling your body but that’s about it.

You feel them lay you down and then strap you in, a safety measure, perhaps to keep you in place, or more for their own safety, you aren’t sure. You blackout from the pain, only waking up sometime later, you aren’t sure where or how long it’s been but the room is bright white, it’s filled with fancy technology on the walls and a nurse looks you in the eyes and then scurries away to get the others.

You blink a few times, sit up even though it sends shooting pain up your spine and to your toes, your brain feels numb, they must be heavily medicating you, and to achieve that they must know about your…abilities.

“We go into lots of Hydra bunkers, it’s not rare to find specially enhanced soldiers there, or traces of their past existence, but it is rare to find one who seems to be doing exactly what we were,” Tony says as the room quickly fills with various curious Avengers

“Do you usually shoot at them too?” You ask.

“No.” Tony answers easily while Wanda answers simultaniously, “yes.”

Tony looks at her, raises a playfull brow which gets him a shoulder shrug in return, and then turns back to you.

“Lets cut to the chase, you’re special. Another Super soldier by the looks of it,” he says as he flips through your lab results.

“I’m the same as Winter, same make, different model.” You joke as you gesture to your body.

“Winter?” Steve asks confused.

“Yeah, Winter, he is the only reason I even got shot, he broke my focus. I’ll never be killed by a dude with a damn bow and arrow.” You counter thinking that somehow answers who Winter is.

“Who is Winter?” Tony says, asking you again.

“How do you not know who he is? He was with you, in the base, on that jet. I saw him and blanked. The Winter Soldier, I’m exactly like him, he helped them create me, I am a copy of him.”

“Let me guess your name is Summer right?” Tony jokes.

“Spring, actually. Hydra is really creative, luckily they maxed out at two of us and didn’t run out of seasons.”

Tony chuckles at the nickname and speaks up, “FRIDAY, call Barnes to the medical ward.”

Then you just wait, still confused still in pain as the love of your life walks through the door.

“You didn’t tell us you knew our almost casualty here?” Tony asks and Steve listens intently, never having heard of “Spring” before now.

“I don’t?” He answers and your heart drops. You were right, your hunch from the way he looked at you before was right, it wasn’t that he moved on and didn’t care, it’s that he completely forgot, he has no idea who you are.

The Avengers, or at least the ones in the room, Steve, Tony, Clint, Sam, Wanda and Bucky, all stare at you with looks of confusion and some filled with accusation.

“So your story doesn’t work,” Sam suggests, instantly not trusting you, not that the others trust you any more than he does.

“It’s not a story, or an excuse it’s the truth. I was The Spring Soldier, Asset number 2, I was created by Hydra, I was the only person they found who could survive the half-assed knock off serum they created and used on Winter first. I was trained by Winter, he was my partner, my lover.” You say the last part quietly and they pretend not to notice as you look at your hands.

“You just don’t remember me, it’s happened before,” you finish.

“I thought you got all your memories back Buck?” Steve asks.

Clint chimes in, “How do you even know if you remember everything you…forgot,” but no one pays attention to him.

“I do,” Bucky assures himself aloud.

“I forgot you existed once too, and I’ve dealt with you forgetting me before too. After you left Hydra I couldn’t find you anywhere for years, they said you went chasing after some old friend, they couldn’t find you either.

I heard that you joined the Avengers and there were all these trials in the news and it seemed like you had moved on and I was tired of chasing after you so I thought it was my turn to forget, I begged a lower officer to perform the procedure, I thought to forget you would be hard, painful. I thought that it would kill me, but it didn’t. It wasn’t long before the memories rushed back. You should remember me too by now. What all do you remember, about the past?” You spill your guts, quickly running over your past skipping some of the darker moments. You ask the question as calm and collected as you can, masking the heartbreak as you search for answers.

“I remember Hydra, I remember the war and I remember Steve but not you,” he says so flatly like he isn’t bothered. As if he isn’t even trying to rack his brain for memories of you.

And he looks at you in this way that breaks your heart, behind his eyes there isn’t love, there isn’t hate, just indifference.

And it hurts because you want him back so badly but he doesn’t seem to care. As painful as the past is you crave it at this moment. Life with Winter was hectic and hard but it was worth it to be with him, this peaceful and quietness that lingered without him, without being part of Hydra was deadly. And then he had to twist the knife.

“I remember everyone I’ve ever killed, I remember everything the soldier did but I am not him.”

“Yes, you are!” You say raising your voice a little, like a wounded animal backed up against the wall.

“No, I’m not.” He says and he doesn’t yell but he says it like he’s so sure of himself and it hurts, a blow to the heart as if he’s stomping on the memories as if he’s ripping up pictures in your face. And he isn’t saying the words out loud, he’s not saying he doesn’t love you, but he might as well be.

As Bucky leaves the room in a rush the team gives you a new mix of looks. Tony looks at you as if you’re a new project, something begging to be fixed. Clint looks guilty and confused. Sam and Steve are both defensive, they had spent so long helping Bucky move on from his past, helping him believe he wasn’t the same person, that it wasn’t his fault and here you come, ruining that idea.

Wanda looked neutral, like she sort of felt bad for you but also didn’t trust you either.

The love of your life just walked out the door, leaving you behind like dust without a second thought, for what felt like the hundredth time, and you were stuck in a room of strangers who were all silently judging you and making their own opinions on you.

To make it worse you were handcuffed and strapped to this damn hospital bed. You had to get Winter or Bucky to remember you and you had to get the entirety of the Avengers to trust you and believe you aren’t a threat. What a fucking nightmare.

Part 2

Tag List: @finnofamerica @theseuscmander @fortisfiliae @theboywhocriedlupin @draqcnheartstrinq @carolinesbookworld 

Let me know if you would like to be tagged, this series is getting its own special taglist since I discontinued all my other ones.

[aggresivelyfriendly]

Chapter 3- Hana No Ami

Thanks for the reads, interest, and love! All of it!! Thanks to the tripod, @bleedinglove4h & @dirtystyles it would not happen without you. or would be shit and barely English, and definitely lack Japanese!

And a big special thanks for Harry, for proving me psychic at times, for giving me so much fodder, and for being a god damn Greek Muse!

"God dammit!" Ada seethed. She wanted to scream, but she had been making nice with Harry on set, and when she did that, she was able to get a few decent takes out of him.

Fine, they were more than decent. They were magic. 

But, a few decent takes out of so many, and only one to two stellar ones was making her so frustrated she wanted to scream.  It was there, it, whatever that was but it was buried under foot thick nerves, that got thicker if she was clearly frustrated. So she whispered it while she watched him look like he'd never been in love in his life.

She'd listened to his album, once, when she agreed to do the movie, so she knew him a little better.

And a couple more times, not so begrudgingly, because she liked it.

If she went by that, he had been in love. Ada supposed she should ask him, but all of her niceties were expended on set with him. That seemed like and after hours question. When he tried to talk to her after hours, she was short with him, and left no quarter for small talk. He was too nice.

So nice, he was exhausting her. He was so good when he was good, but it took very broad shoulders on her part to get him there.

Harry was really great before the camera turned on, everyday. When they first met for the day. He was enthusiastic and bright. His ideas were good. Those first few minutes were a glimmer of an oasis on the horizon. Somewhere midway through the conversation he would drift off, ah, a mirage then, again. The he would be that balloon slowly floating away until she found some way to grab his string. She was beginning to think he may need Ritalin. She may have to look up her roommate from college, Ada thought she lived here. Katie, Yeah, Katie usually had a hook up.

He needed something, or she needed a helper. She felt a little like elvis' colonel, able to pull the performance out of this modern day musical king. Maybe with a prescription. That was wrong, even to think, and she couldn't. She was able get the goods out of him without director's little helpers. But it was such a chore.

He would talk well, then get a little drifty. She'd have to cut take after take, and he'd get more and more insecure. She'd watched him on stage, and before takes. He wasn't insecure, hell sometimes he was cocky, she could use some of that. The shades of it she saw in interviews. Maybe it was the hair cut? The longer his hair the bigger his dick energy?

Well, his hair wasn't growing fast enough!

"Go again! Keep rolling!" Ada felt like there was no time to stop. They had a section of Ueno Park to themselves, stunningly. Almost as amazing as the blossoming surroundings.

The city government had been more than generous, they had gotten access to so many open spaces. Her dream spaces. Well, she supposed it was Harry's or the scriptwriter's dreams. But they were magic. And getting to film in them was a gift. Like all gifts though, this pass had limitations. The city wasn't willing to shut down entirely for whole days. So they got specific times and areas to use for filming.

The areas were still open to the public in a limited manner. Ada loved that, and the curious locals looked good on film. The park looked dreamy to her eyes and on the dailies, and the people added to it. Sakura season was nearing its end, but the blossoms were hearty this year and were full in most spots, but still dropping like snow.  Heavy and magic, casting pink light on the already beautiful setting.

It was a perfect set up.

Ada needed Harry to twirl in them in wonder. It wasn't in the script, but it was on her plan now. Because of him. He needed to twirl, just as he had been when they arrived.

She wasn't even sure he knew she was watching. His wardrobe was wondrous, and the setting, perfect, and she had no nerves at all for a few minutes. The unscripted moment was better than the plan. Today was gonna be different.

Ada was sure this was a turning point. Today was the day she got more that Harry's magic, but singular moments.

Maybe she should throw the boy a bone and sit down for the drinks he inquired about several times. If he did better, her irritation would go away enough for it. She liked him, it might help. Maybe they just needed to establish a better rapport. She'd turned him down several times. She was just recovering from her killer jet lag and, well, he was proving to be a pain in the ass. She didn't want to see him when she didn't have to.

But that was before, now she was even sadder to be wrong after all that hope, maybe even a bath in her future when they got home early. Instead.

Today looked like another long one, and she wasn't sure if she had enough novacaine to inject him with, or caffeine for herself. And she knew she didn't have enough time.

He'd continued his batting average. Either Harry whiffed at air, hit nothing, or knocked it out of the park.

She was hoping he'd be first time lucky earlier, when things had been set up and he'd walked out of his trailer, in the street clothes Akio had styled for Henry at the Harajuku shop. Nothing crazy or too bright. It was perfect actually, he was rockabillied out. A poof of hair in front, white y shirt - she refused to call them wife beaters, a leather jacket cocked off his shoulders- a large black belt and black straight pants with a high cuff, combat boots. He'd had a comb in his hand and Ada dug it. She'd have to high five wardrobe. He was a daydream. And it looked like it fit. Harry Presley indeed.

She watched him walk into set and stand in the middle of a blossom fall. His cheeks had lifted and his eyes shone. Big coin spot dimples daring anybody to try their pin ball luck. He looked pretty dreamy. If he could keep that up, there'd be no trouble believing Akio would fall, maybe even try for a kiss, but be interrupted and have to make a run for it just as the scene called for.

"Just like that, Harry." She'd walked up to him. "That's exactly how you should look in this scene. It's pretty irresistible." She'd smiled at him, all the hope and good feelings of her early morning workout and real, delicious matcha running through her veins. It wasn't even too cold for such an early morning. The scene was perfect. He looked perfect, like a hip Tokyo boy dressed him up, and the weather even cooperated.

His confidence looked high as well, along with the color in his cheeks.

"Yeah, this is pretty magic." He said and looked around and a petal fell upon his cheekbone. They pressed against his skin when he looked up, soft, but sharp enough to hold the side of the petal.

Ada wished she was already rolling, and she doubted the petal would stay. They needed another flower to float on down and stick to his cheeks. It wouldn't. But they could create movie magic.

How'd you do that, she had asked her first mentor?

Well, you cheated of course. She'd have makeup use a trick.

Ada reached up to brush the petal off and Harry turned his cheek at the same time. His cheek was warm and smooth, like her lakebed in the summer. She awkwardly realized that she was basically cupping his face for a long moment, and was about to yank her hand away when he blinked his eyes slowly closed and left them gentle there. She nearly ran her thumb over the sharp cheekbone.

"Makeup!" She flinched her hand off of him and went back to her seat when she realized what she was doing.

She had such a good feeling about this morning, but after their flower moment, he was a mess. He almost fell in the pond when he and Yuki decided to play around in the scene and walk on the railings like overgrown kids. It could have worked. She let them because she was desperate, they had about two minutes of usable stuff for their time.

What happened? He was ready to go just a little while ago. She was sure of it.

Harry was shaking. He had been for a while. Yuki was looking at him like he was crazy. "You ok Hari?"

"Yeah, Yeah, man, maybe my blood sugar is low?" So he'd had a pressed juice. This was after his near fall. A place to put clumsy blame. It helped a little. Mostly, it gave him a chance to get himself together. He was a little better when they started rolling, but he was off again. He was unbelievably frustrated. He'd had a good feeling about today. That he would "act good" like Jeffrey suggested. But he knew he was not doing his best, right now. Dunkirk had not been like this. But it was so physically taxing and mostly just a matter of reacting to the things around him.

And he was not the focus, dammit. That was wonderful, actually. To have the focus broadened, shared. Truly divided. Even in the band, he felt zoomed in on. Sometimes like a bug pinned down under a microscope. Dunkirk had given him a break.

So that when he was ready to be in the spotlight again, he felt ready, like it was on his terms.

Harry had decided these terms too. He wanted this movie. He was the force behind it. But now he felt like he was under the microscope again.

He was squirming especially because of Ada. He'd been happy to see her loose and open when she'd come onto set. The smudges under her eyes, the ones that worried him so, were lighter, almost gone. He could feel the dimples from that. And he'd seen hers! He'd only caught those in pictures before.

Plus, he was so excited about this day. He had never gotten to be in Tokyo, in Japan, during cherry blossom season.

His breath caught when he walked from his trailer to the bridge. Harry had given himself a talking to, and had agreed with himself that he was gonna loosen up, and he'd only ask Ada to have a drink with him one more time.

Just once more, he wanted to talk to her. He was sure he  could charm her then. If he could just calm down. Since the shoes hadn't worked, he could finally give her a satisfactory apology. Which was probably just for him at this point, he needed to purge. Also, he wasn't sure she knew how sorry he was, how embarrassed. It was messing him up, his performance up. That the lack of resolution was affecting him.

She was affecting him. The way he felt when he talked to her, looked at her.  It wasn't like a lightening strike, it was like......ichariba chode, she felt like home. But more, not just like his mom with hot tea, but those moments he'd had so rarely, with Grimmy and Camille a time or two. When he would come home and they'd be waiting for him, their arms outstretched with warm kisses, warm food, hot embraces, lazy lie ins.

Like a lover, a family of his own creation. He had a crush before he met her. But it was more now. Growing. He loved watching her on set. She was the boss, in such a way that she didn't need to be bossy. But she could be. God it was sexy.

Another thing he couldn't ignore. He was gonna have to. It was not mutual. That was jarring.

And distracting. He was so distracted today, he'd been on it, had absolute confidence that today he was turning a corner. All the elements had combined to make a great day. How could do it, and her confidence at the beginning of the day felt like closure. He didn't know what happened.

That was a lie.

Truth was, he knew exactly what was going on. Ada had touched him, again. And every time she did his stomach flipped like when Gemma forced him to go on the zipper at a carnival when he was eight.

He never learned to like rollercoasters.

Ada made him feel like he was upside down and inside out when she touched his shoulder while she gave him a talking-to. He could see she was really frustrated with him, but she was gentle and he wanted to please her.

And he should have known he was a bit fucked when she touched his cheek. He'd maybe never felt that good, maybe when Irving first told him he could be a legend. That was a similar feeling, but he didn't want to fall into Irving. Or kiss him.

That was when he knew he would need an intervention. Like every day. But he wasn't sure it could be her, she was definitely the problem today. If he was honest, like most other days. Though she intervened then too. She was the problem and the cure.

She was intervening earlier and earlier. He wasn't sure if she had figured out that she could appeal to his need to impress her and he would perform. Harry hated that he required so much work, he was supposed to be the leader on the film. He wanted to be the leader on set, be an example. But he seemed to require handholding.

"Cut!" Ada yelled while he was on his penitent Road, whipping away at himself mentally.  Shit, head in the game Styles.

"You ok, Harry? Yuki?"  They both nodded.  "How can we make this better, get this shot before the city Insists we get the hell off of this bridge for the day?"

"What if Harry makes the move, maybe it's the set up he's uncomfortable with? Me kissing him?"

"I'm not uncomfortable!" Harry exclaimed while Ada was saying "I don't think he's uncomfortable with the affection, or dynamic."

Yuki looked confused. Harry laughed. "Mate, I'd hold your hand all day, on camera," he pointed to the fans nearby. "Don't really care about that so much, cats nearly out of the bag. I'm just...."

"Distracted." Ada filled in, She was good at reading him. Harry loved that. When he didn't have to talk. That would be so nice to come home to. Stop it! Those thoughts were not helping.

"Yeah!" Harry pinched his lip between his fingers, he did it often, it had been known, because it centered him. It had caught him so off guard, effected him so, when Ada touched his cheek, took him out of this scene of supposed natural affection. He looked at her and his cheek tingled. His eyes fell closed on the two hours old memory, still. He touched his cheek and opened his eyes and looked at Ada. A spark fired then and they talked over each again.

"You should touch his face!" Ada said.

"You should take a blossom off my face!" Harry basically yelled into Ada's ear.

She rubbed it for a second, but his "Sorry" was said on the sharp corners of his smile.

And Ada was the car, her lips curved like a Porsche on their collaboration. They could corner like they were on rails right now.

"Yuki-" She beckoned him over, and waved her hand at wardrobe.  To the girl with the palettes in hand she said, "can you make his face sticky, so if I drop these," she pointed to the baby pink petals above, "they'll stick?"

"Yeah, I can use gloss, light will catch on it too!" The girl was thinking out loud,. "I'm afraid it will shine. Look out for that. Hold on."  She disappeared and Ada turned to a waiting Yuki.

"So, I want you to come up behind him, and I'll have petals dropped on him." Ada pointed at her star, Harry was nodding too. "When he turns, it should look pretty dreamy, you should look like it is anyway. Like really compelling. Smitten, do you know this word?"

Yuki was laughing, and Ada felt like there was a conversation going on she didn't know about. Both boys were looking at her, Yuki back and forth between her and Harry.

"Yeah, I know what look you want. I can imagine it." He looked at Harry and cracked up. "We have a way to say - koi no yokan - a future at love, a vision." He looked at Harry, brow high. Like Harry knew what he was talking about. Could explain it.

Ada focused on him too, like he had an example in he and Ada's common language for it.

Harry's attention refocused on his costar, tore I His eyes off ada. "I don't know. I'm just learning Japanese. Trying." He supposed he felt that's little when he fell into Ada's cleavage, before he puked on her. After too he supposed. It just felt more hopeful before. He guessed he knew smitten, and a premonition of love.

"Oh, I think you know." And Yuki was laughing again. Ada was excited, and she was engaged, with her actors, but they were still pressed for time. And they needed this shot. She knew it was gonna be good, could feel the energy.

"You smitten, Harry?" She laughed at him, and Harry could feel his eyes get really big, but her attention shifted and she was walking back to her chair.

"Ok, let's do it! Roll tape!" She watched the make up girl come back to wipe Harry's cheek, apply lip gloss, and somebody throw flower petals at his face, which seemed both highly fitting and like something he was used to.

He barely blinked.

And then, the shot was perfect, they got it so easily.

"Yuki, almost kiss him! Closer!" Ada shouted, that wasn't in the script, but it felt perfect.  Harry was lookin at her over his partner's shoulder and she could feel him lean in to Akio's space. Like a magnet. Magnetic, wow.

It only took one take, it was perfect. Ada jumped out of her chair and was running to start tearing down, so they could do some make up shots. Her excitement made Harry smile. Good, he had finally done something right.

"You could tell her." Yuki said over his shoulder.

Harry turned back to him. "Tell who what?" He missed that train when it pulled out of the thought station.

"The lady director, Hari!" He raised his eyebrows in a gesture Harry had never seen a Japanese person make.

"Ada? Tell her what?"

"Tell her you like her!"

"What do you mean? What's not to like? Course I like her, she's so talented, and she's our boss."Harry felt naked in the middle of Ueno Park.

"You like her. Koi no yokan. You look like Akio looks at Henry with the petal on his cheek - like you want to be the petal."

"I don't." Harry shook his head. Was he that obvious? What a mess, he knew she barely tolerated him. Never took him up on his invitations. To dinner, or tea, or the Gucci store. "I don't!" He protested too much. He shook his head like he had water in his ears, this was more uncomfortable than the cold Atlantic.

"Ok, ok, you don't like her. But you could invite her to the thing tonight?"

Harry just shook his head. It would ruin it. He did well in that scene, finally, surprised her. She had been happy. And he was so pleased that the rest of the day went well.  He wasn't going to invite her to the bar where Konichi's band was playing.

Only because she had blown off all his other invitations.

But she was smiling so much at the end of the day, when he had accidentally on purpose passed her, he couldn't help it.

"Hey, Ada, if you have recovered from your jet lag and well, everything, we're all going to see my friend's band play. Want to come?" He doubted she would, he should have had Jeff invite her, she liked Jeff better. Harry worried his bottom lip.

Ada thought it over for a second. It might be good to bond with the cast. She hadn't been to anything they had done as a group. At first because she was tired, and then because the days often felt like she was pulling teeth, slow pitching Harry so he could hit his grand slams, leaving her mentally exhausted.

At least a few times it was because Harry had asked. She wasn't sure if it would be just the two of them. He hadn't mentioned the shoes she returned without tempting herself by looking at them. She was hoping to avoid that discomfort all together. Alone meant she'd have to flat out say no. She would, but would rather avoid it all together.

This was everyone though. She could go. If she could get herself out of her hotel room and out of the joggers and band tees that were her uniform. Though the zeppelin shirt she had on would look good with jeans and heels.  She guessed she was going, if she was already planning outfits.

Her black lace red bottoms crossed her mind, definitely going out shoes.

"I'll try."

God, he really loved her smile. It was pretty much perfect, and he felt like he knew great smiles, his was praised so often. He hoped she came.

The night was winding down, for Harry at least, and he had reconciled himself to Ada not coming.

He wasn't drunk per say, not like the night before he made Ada hate him.

But he was warm, and had another shot to get over her no show.

It was just enough to get him on stage. After urging all night. It wasn't his band. He missed his band, performing too, apparently. This was fun!

He was really warmed up by the time Smells Like Teen Spirit came on.

"Gambarimasu!" Was the first word Ada heard once she had talked herself into coming in. She'd dilly dallied and found herself starving, she'd ducked into one of the little yakitori places. But dining alone was a drag. She needed to make friends, which is what finally pushed her through the door. She was gonna enjoy her already bonded cast and crew. Find her place.

"That sounds just like Nirvana!" She looked down at the shirt she'd changed to last minute. Funny coincidence. The voice at least, the instruments were great too, but not quiet as electrifying as the voice.

Which belonged to her star.

"Well, damn!" She heard herself say, and saw Yuki chuckling at her side.

[neverwatchedonepiece]

609-610: "Luffy Dies from Exposure?! The Spine Chilling Snow Woman Monet" and "Fists Collide! a Battle of the Two Vice Admirals!"

Surrounded by trash, unsure of location or direction. Too real, Luffy. Too real.

I feel like a broken record at the moment but Punk Hazard really is delivering.

Across 609 and 610, we had Law vs Vergo with a surprise interruption by Smoker. Caesar was the subject of unexpected character development. Even Luffy vs Monet had a twist, with Luffy falling into a trash compactor and meeting a tiny talking dragon.

I bet that’s Foxfire’s son. The little dragon had a kid’s voice.

I’m just glad the big dragon the Strawhats roasted wasn’t Momonosuke (@mrkashkiet, I am looking at you sternly. xD)

Law Just Cannot Quit Smoking

And does not want to.

The action picked up with Vergo hoofing it to the SAD Room. Speed lines ahoy!

Inside, Law slowly drew his sword in front of a vast tank of SAD Gas. Not sure what he was planning to do, but let’s not dwell on it, in case his plan was literally explosive.

Vergo appeared at the door. “I feel like my hand has been bitten by my own dog. This is too much even for a mischievous child. You were always too smart for your own good. People like you tend to die young.”

You know, I’m not keen on stoic villain types but I’ve got to admit that Vergo has some killer lines.

“It would be easiest to crush your heart but I won’t do that. I’ll torment you slowly as I please and warp your smart ass face with fear.”

Like I said, good lines.

He wailed on Law with grim purpose to the point I found myself shouting, “Come on, Law! ROOM YOURSELF OUT OF THERE!”  Law was not having a fun time. (Dare I say, he was SAD?)

But his instinct for shit-talking was irrepressible. “Are you guys frustrated because your scheme is coming crashing down? Is this thing that important to you?”

Well, yeah... If Caesar is *the only person* who can make whatever it is that Doflamingo wants, then SAD must be profitable. Profits before pals seems to be Doflamingo’s modus operandi, but I don’t get the feeling Law is all that surprised Vergo is trying to kill him.

Law did fight back. There was an attempt.  He tried to Room his heart back. But Vergo is fast and snatched Law’s heart from the air.

The worst thing, though? Vergo punched Law so hard he lost his hat. That is not cool. It must have riled Law enough for him to try his (awesome) Counter Shock attack. It was big, flashy and high voltage, but it only left Vergo lightly toasted.

Vergo must have decided to kill Law then because he said, “I have a message from Joker. He said, ‘What a shame.’”

Law was weirdly zen about the whole situation. “Oh, well. It didn’t work. I was pretty sure I could take my heart back from Caesar, but I didn’t expect you here, Vergo.”

The lack of -san honorific was the last straw for Vergo. He squeezed Law’s heart like a stress ball. Toei’s red filter descended. Soul-shredding pain was experienced. Law screamed a lot. As you would if your heart was being squeezed by a maniac.

Then, a shaft of light descended from the vaulted heavens.

Except not really because it was Smoker.

It’s almost the same thing.

Vergo was typically cool about the interruption. “I’m in the middle of something. Does it have to be now, Vice-Admiral Smoker?”

And I did a backflip. Yes. Excellent interruption. Great timing, Smoker! Now stop being so fixated on the Big Tanks That Go “Blort” and execute your glorious revenge!

Really, now I think about it, Vergo is almost as bad as Caesar. When Smoker called Vergo out on his deceit and told him not to tell the G5 Men as he was a father figure to them, Vergo said, “Don’t tell me you actually care about those guys? I’m a base commander. I can do whatever I want to my no-good subordinates.” Another one who treats other people as disposable pawns.

Unsurprisingly, Smoker and Vergo came to blows. Smoker seems to be having more luck than Law, but then Vergo does not have Smoker’s heart in a box. What I’d like to happen is Smoker retrieving Law’s heart and they tag-team Vergo into oblivion.

That sounded wrong. But you get what I mean.

Star Wars Episode IV: A New Rubbery Hope

How did Luffy end up in the Death Star’s trash compactor? 

His battle with a bird woman from Hoth went south. Literally.

And I cannot believe I am about to say this, but I kind of wish Luffy’s fight with Monet was a little bit longer. Her powers are great. Her self-awareness and cunning are too.

She maintained those ten layer kamakura walls without breaking a sweat. When Luffy smashed one layer, she wrapped another around her frozen prison without missing a beat. Luffy knew she was stalling for time and said he’d just break every layer quicker than she could replace them.

“I bet,” she said. Then swept up behind Luffy and, in an oddly flirty manner, whispered in his ear, “I don’t think I’ll win if I fight you, but the strongest isn’t always the winner in a fight.”

Then she grabbed him and wrapped him, literally, in winter’s embrace. 

That hypothermia power was quite cool (no pun intended). Paired with those desolate, snowy vistas and her eerily calm voice urging Luffy to let go, to sleep, relax and let it be, Monet’s Devil Fruit seems pretty strong to me.

But just as Luffy was about to pass out, Zoro’s voice - the very warning he yelled at Luffy a couple of episodes ago - cut through the darkness. “THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING OF THE NEW WORLD!”

I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of the blue filtered haki moments. When he sprang up and let loose that Jet Spear attack, I cheered.

Then he fell through the floor into a garbage chute and I laughed.

It was cool, though. He’s rubber. He’d bounce. And sure enough, it wasn’t long before he was raking through broken gadgets for food. At which point a tiny dragon spoke to him and that is where the story ended.

I am now 75% sure that tiny dragon is Momonosuke. It had a kid’s voice. Probably should be a higher percentage than that but I like to hedge my bets, haha.

Chopper Looks Like Every Harried Substitute Teacher Ever

While Luffy was readjusting to life in a trash compactor with a small talking dragon, Monet flapped away to tick off another box on the never ending to do list: securing the Addicted Experiment Kiddies.

Said kiddies were knocking lumps out of Chopper with their ferocious addict strength. He could not restrain them without hurting them. He tried to convince them not to eat the candy. “I know it’s hard but you have to endure it!”

The thing is, Chopper was dealing with a double helping of trouble here. Not only are they kids, who are naturally more self-centred due to their developing brains. They are also addicts who are so far down the rabbit hole of whatever drug Caesar was peddling they’ll do anything for a fix.

When Chopper’s rumble ball wore off, the kids trampled him and thundered straight for the Biscuit Room, where Mocha was waiting alone.

Luckily, he was picked up by Nami, Zoro, Usopp, Robin, Brook and Foxfire. (Do not remember Brownbeard hanging around. Did he leave or did he just not have any lines?) 

Robin tried to restrain the kids. That was interesting for two reasons: one, I didn’t know Robin could feel damage sustained by her extra hands, and two, she asked Usopp and Brook to try and find a pair of Sea Prism Stone cuffs because Luffy had asked her to. (I bet his plan is to cuff Caesar!)

The kids charged Mocha, who tried to tell them the candy was evil! Then Monet whirled into the room on a frosty zephyr. (The best part of this entrance was when Usopp shouted: “I TOLD YOU THERE WAS A BIRD WOMAN!” He was finally vindicated.) 

Yay, thought Mocha. It’s Monet-san. She’s lovely!

Nooooope. Monet told her, in a sweet, ever-so-reasonable voice that it wasn’t nice to keep all the candy for herself. Mocha should share it with the others, like always. Mocha’s little face when she sensed betrayal was just heart-wrenching. “Why?” she whispered.

Because Monet is a nasty piece of work just like Caesar? Just a thought.

Not sure what’s going to happen here. There are a *lot* of Strawhats in the room, so I’m guessing Monet will be defeated by them. Then they’ll push through, deliver the cuffs and - BAM - we have one angry, kidnapped scientist. 

Sanji Acquires Unexpected Fans

This was a short scene but the fact that Sanji has a cadre of devoted fans in the G5 is hilarious. Yeah, he claims he doesn’t want their approval. And he probably doesn’t.

But Sanji cannot stop himself running back to save the poor saps who can be saved.

This is the Sanji I like: surly on the outside with a golden heart on the inside. More, please!

And the Academy Award for Best Actor goes to . . .

CAESAR CLOWN!

Seriously.

The yarns this guy can spin could crush the GDP of a small textile-dependent country.

Caesar should run for office somewhere. Then he could appoint himself head of the science department.

For that is exactly what has been bugging him for years, it seems. He wants Vegapunk’s job.

Well... maybe not the job. (He’s getting by just fine thanks to pirates. A Government job would ruin that). It’s the fame and kudos. That’s what he’s after.

Plus he has a weird goal: to achieve world peace by obliterating all sources of conflict - collateral damage be damned. Unless he’s lying about that. Given his oscar-winning performance, that would not surprise me.

The action picked up with Caesar caesaring through a pipe and landing outside the Secret Room (I laughed when I realised everyone on Punk Hazard literally calls it the Secret Room).

He was bitching about having to enter the room because it was Vegapunk’s old office. Still, he claimed it was the only place where he could “pull it off”. (I am unsure why he had to go to Vegapunk’s old office just to close some doors, but I’ll chalk it up to plot and say no more.)

He promised to make Luffy, the Strawhats, G5 and Trafalgar Law pay for ruining his plan. It was all their fault! The experiment could have been a great show - everything perfect and beautiful and befitting of the world’s greatest scientist (Vegapunk says hi!) But they screwed it up. He couldn’t let the Strawhats do as they liked. They’d pushed it a little too far and he has Joker on his back now.

He ordered a minion to close the gates to Buildings C and D. This would lure all survivors into one narrow room. His plan? Trap them in the bottleneck and pump the room full of his poison gas through the air vents. He would broadcast it as a snuff movie for the brokers. That would show them what he was really made of!

But the minions hang on his every word and they caught one small discrepancy.

“Um... did you say that *you* had created the poison gas, Master?”

Caesar’s haughty reply was, “Yes, I did.”

“But it’s like Vegapunk’s gas. It freaks us out.” Understandably, the minions probably have ptsd from four years ago.

The moment when Caesar realised he’d let his ego run away with him and opened his big mouth was glorious. How could he spin this? How? The animators did a great job here. You could see the evil, conniving cogs turning in his mind. 

Then he broke out his Oscar winning performance. 

“This is . . . an avenging battle of science. My people! That day, I tried to stop the mad scientist, Vegapunk. No! If such a weapon exploded, what would happen to the people on the island?” Caesar even threw in a melodramatic “YAMEROOOOO, VEGAPUNK!” for some extra emotional sparkle.

“But the accident happened. And he still lords if over us as the head of the science department of the Marines. and he’s considered the world’s greatest scientist. I cannot tolerate it! He’s the cruel man who hurt you all! Do you think it’s right that people still call him the number one scientist? That’s why I want to prove them all wrong. I didn’t want to make a weapon of mass destruction! But I want to show them that there is a greater scientist here. That I am the greatest scientist in the world! When the Marines acknowledge it and when I become head of the science department, my dream will come true. I can use my scientific knowledge to bring peace to the world!”

I honestly had to stop myself giving Caesar a standing ovation. What a performance that was.

You know, it’s weird. Every lie Caesar told there has a basis in truth. That’s the most dangerous liar right there because the lies they tell are more believable. Does the Gas-Gas Fruit confer gaslighting powers too? Because Caesar is a hellishly efficient manipulator.

And while Caesar was congratulating himself, a flashback happened!

Caesar is Prime Material for /r/IAmVerySmart

Caesar with a bob was weird. I’m guessing when he moved to Punk Hazard, there was a lack of stylists, so he just grew his hair out. That hair you see right now? That is four years of growth.

At any rate, Caesar was doing something a bit more important back in Vegapunk’s lab. He was debating morality with some other scientists. They begged him to stop his experiment. If it exploded, it would kill everyone on the island. 

Caesar was typically receptive to criticism. “STFU, boneheads! Where do you think you are? This is a Marine research facility. They want to kill as many pirates as the can. What they need is a weapon that will do it for them.”

“But they don’t want one that will also kill civilians!”

Caesar’s rebuttal? “It’s called collateral damage! If we blow away everything, we can bring peace to the world.” (Does he genuinely believe that? That’s a properly depressing view of the world he holds there, if true.)

“You’re so...”

Caesar had a, “I’m gonna stop you right there” moment. They wanted to say he was cruel? What a joke. They were using prisoners as guinea pigs as if they were trash. What was the difference? (Fair point, Caesar.) Moreover, Admiral Sengoku was too soft, but Akainu, if he was in charge, *he* would want a weapon Caesar made. (Also interesting. I hope Caesar never decides to change sides again. He would be dangerous in Akainu’s hands.)

He went off on one about how Vegapunk had failed to turn people into giants again. Caesar knows you can’t turn people into giants in a short period of time unless you use magic, so had suggested Vegapunk just kidnap some kids and feed them drugs until something worked. What a lovely idea, Caesar! xD

The flash forward revealed Caesar’s “William Birkin Moment”.

Just as he made a significant discovery, Marines burst in and cuffed him with sea prism stone. Vegapunk himself came to see off his old colleague. I was ONE HUNDRED PERCENT HYPED for about half a second. But there was no face. 

Blue balled. Again. xD

Caesar was summarily dismissed from the Science Department. “Your eccentric behaviour is intolerable and I cannot protect you anymore, Caesar.”

Interesting that what the rest of the scientists did was viewed as fine and dandy, but Caesar taking it a step further was regarded as “eccentric”. First off, eccentric is a gross understatement. Secondly, what they’re doing is pretty evil too. Caesar is just overtly, unashamedly amoral. They hide it better.

Suffering such a humiliation, Caesar had his “SCREW YOU!” moment and pushed the big red button. Punk Hazard went up in a Mighty Kaboom-Boom Cloud. 

Still wondering how they all survived that, but I will chalk it up to plot and say no more.

Of course, after Caesar’s theatrics, his minions fell over themselves to apologise. Sorry, Master! You are the saviour, after all.

“Thank you... thank you all,” Caesar simpered, while inside he called them unintelligent fools. So easily manipulated. Dumb as bricks.

This guy needs taking down several pegs. Maybe an entire cloakroom rack.

Luffy, please oblige asap.

Caesar tells a rip-roaring, thigh-slapper of a yo momma joke. 

(No one laughed.)

[levs-mindspace]

Chapter three /// paranoia

Around 1400 words. New record :)

I walked in the store, and to my suprise, Sarah is standing there talking to a deputy. Their eyes glared at me when I started to walk over to them.

“Are you the owner that called about a complaint last night?” the woman asked. She pulled out her paper and gestured to me.

“Yes?” I said uncertainly. I didn't know that they would be here so fast.

“The man you saw, i’m going to need a little more description about him. We think we may know the guy but... it’s complicated,”

What did she mean complicated? Does he have a record of this? Has he done it before? As my anxiety started to fume up again, I told her all that I knew.

The man was around 5’2’’, he talked confidently and stood with perfect posture. He talked with a slight english accent and was very charming, which was why I let him in in the first place. Other than the fact that he had my book, of course, which he could of stole for all i know just so that he could get close to me. He had a scar over his lip and had jet black hair that was swooped back. This was all I noticed.

She wrote all this down and then slowly looked up with the most sympathetic look that i think she could muster.

“Thank you, um… could I talk to you alone for a bit as well?” she questioned me while slightly looking over at Sarah. Sarah came back to her senses (she often zones out) and then went into the back of the shop. What was she going to do, argue with the police?

“Now that I have you alone,” she whispered,”im not actually from the police, but i know that you are still in danger and i want to help. The man you were describing sounds a lot like a cold case from the 60's. It is a long shot but the resemblance is uncanny. Now i know you believe in some of the supernatural so it is really such a long shot that someone could come back from the dead? Maybe a witch killer named Satin Browning? I resume you know who he is?” she rambled off, wide eyed and out of breath. All while i just stood there with my mouth open staring at her.

The only thing i could push out after that was, “excuse me?” before the cat that I brought in, the one i almost forgot about, jumped out the window, shattering the glass and dirtying my entire store. I will have to close all day for this, ruining our already horrible customer base.

After the surprised screaming and sarah's questioning from the back room she yelled, “See, he always pretended to be a familiar! He’s stalking you and if you can't see that…” she pants,“He’s gonna try and do to you like he did those witches from all those years ago.”

To think back on what those people went through churned my stomach, yet she has a point.

“But wait, if you aren't a cop how did you get my complaint?” I demanded. How did i know she wasn't working for him?

“im not a cop myself, but I am friends with some. I've been tracking him for years now and overheard that you complained when i was at the station. It sounds exactly like him, especially with the murders around the city,” she said. “I'm begging you, i wanna help you but you need to be careful. He is dangerous. This is the first time I've gotten to someone before they got to him first so we can't blow this. We could finally catch him! You have to be with me or against me for this savannah. For you own sake i hope you are with me.” She said while whispering the last part out of sarah's reach. Due to the magnitude of this, and for the fact that she is going to be in the store as well, i don't want her knowing about this quite yet.

I don't know if I can trust this woman, but im scared and i have to overthrow my paranoia about the situation. Or else who knows if i will survive?

“I'm in, now what?”

-------

As we talked we walked down the street. It was freezing yet I still wore short sleeves for some odd reason.

“So what are you thinking we should do, I mean, how are we gonna hand in a dude who should be averaging 100 and dead?” I ask her. This is a wild goose chase. If Satin is back from the dead, we can’t stop him and that’s a fact. Rumor had it he was over 500 when he did the killings in the 60’s and he was experienced then. Now he was technology and media on his side as well as almost 60 more years.

“I figured you man be able to overpower him in the right circumstances. If we can make him mortal again he will be down for the count. They have his dna in the datibase from his previous arrest which he so happily excaped from,” she said.

She can’t be serious

“Wait you are really banking on my being able to turn him mortal? I’m not even sure a coven leader could do that. Heck, if a Pukius Reagana was born they might even have trouble with…..” I stopped. Oh my god.

“Wait what, have you thought of something, and what the heck is a puke us….?”

“Oh my god!” I laughed. We were idiots. I almost screamed in her direction, “Satin is rumored to be a great witch. If we find the waters he was born in, and if his blood, no matter how small, goes into the water, he will turn mortal again!”

“Say this in non-witch speak please?” She was honestly confused. I forget- normal people are gonna be normal.

“When a powerful great witch, or what we call a pukius regana, is chosen by the gods, they must bathe and drown in the waters of a specific lake or pond. If we find that pond and lead him to it and he bleeds into the water he will turn mortal,” I say. It sounds easy in foresight, but this will be the most dangerous thing I do in my life and I know this.

“So what your saying is that there is a way, we just need to find the means,” she was excited she was great. Finally, a normal person who believes in magic and wants to actually help me with something. The best of both worlds, actually.

“Exactly, the only problem we have is getting him here. I mean, I don’t wanna be bait.”

“I get that, but this may be our only option. But we don’t have to worry about that yet, we need to track him first. Know where he stays. Also what he looks like cuz I bet you that cat was him is disguise,” she was right.

“Okay I kinda thought that about the cat too to be honestly but I ignored it,” I said.

“That’s why your gonna need to learn to trust your instincts. Especially now. And learn how it harness your energy… however you do that,” she said awkwardly. Usually I take a nice crystal bath, light some candles, dance nakedly in the forest with a cat. Okay maybe not that last one but the point is… she probably doesn’t wanna hear specifics.

For the rest of the walk we just talked, almost as if we were friends.she told me her name is actually Valerie yarnall. After the Satin incident, I lost all my friends. We all broke apart in fear. Being a full coven was way too dangerous back then, so we made a vow. We kept it do date and it is horrible. I miss them so much, especially in times like this. The fact that this will last forever is the worst part, due to all witches being immortal unless killed. We are kind of like lobsters I’ve heard? Until Satin is killed, I’ll never get my coven back and I know that for a true fact. But on the bright side, if I do kill him in that lake with the help of the Valerie, I will take all of his powers and become a great witch in his place. Ah, gotta love the help of friends.

[fantasyizlife]

My Savagez part 7

My Savagez part 7

Paring: Tom Holland and Harrison Osterfield x reader (AU)

Summary: Tom, Haz and Y/N are in a loveship built so uniquely by your own three beating hearts no one could break it apart. But what happens when buried past don't stay buried? Will your love survive? Will you survive? How much of their past is going to test and take from each of you? Only time and endurance will tell.

Side note: Loosely based off of the movie Savages

Word count: 7329..my personal best (the struggle was real)

Warnings: Haz fluff Haz angst/honesty Haz smut. 18 and older type of vibe

**For my readers who follow and dont want smut there is a cut line to STOP, its smut til the end! For us Tom lovers, there will be a price to pay if we stay away too long, the good price ; } **

“I’m seriously not in the fucking mood guys” Haz answered with a red face opening it with such a force it slammed against the door stopper. His hair was a mess and the veins on his normally smooth neck were showing me just what kind of a fucking mood he was in. I looked down at the ground as his eyes met mine. They were a swirl of mixed blues and emotions like a tropical storm coming into shore. The kind you seek shelter from. “I’m sorry, I’m..Harrison” I stammered out “I’m sorry I didn’t know how to say it fast enough, but I want you, I mean..I want to be here with you, I need to be here Harrison” I said closing my leaking eyes as I felt his stare over me. It felt like heartbeats of forever until he wrapped his arms around me and held me tight. I rested my cheek against his pounding heart and felt the warm string of tears that dropped onto my face.  “Let’s shower angel, it’s been a long day, yeah?” he said lifting me in his arms. His voice was soft and breaking as he swallowed his emotions down. “How about a bath instead?” I asked doing the same with my emotions. He nodded in agreement taking me to his bed, sitting me down. I looked around as he brought my stuff from the hallway.        

I slipped into his bathroom almost as big as the apartment I had back in Michigan. I started the water and poured lots of bubbles in the water filling the air with smells of coconut. He came in already undressed. He got in and jumped back out fast just as fast. I giggled as I remembered my water temperatures were different than his. “Angel that is freezing, a bath has to be warmer than that, even for you!" he said twisting the hot all the way on. I turned it back halfway. “Nope, I dont like to be hot when I get wet Haz” I said as he slid under the bubbles towards the spout where it was steaming as it came out. He raised his eyes smiling as he hit the power to turn on the jets “I beg to differ, I can tell you a few times you've been hot and wet never complained once" he smirked watching me undress. I laughed at him getting in behind him where it would be coldest, for a few minutes anyways. There's a difference between those hots and wets Haz" He leaned into me as I laid back loving the cold feel of the tub and his warmth on my skin. There were floor to ceiling mirrors surrounding the tub making anywhere I looked right at him. He smiled turning off the water as he noticed me noticing that fact. “You must really love looking..humm..at yourself in here” I said not meeting his eyes. he pulled my foot into his soft long fingers and started to massage them. I closed my eyes moaning my gratitude. “It's a safety issue love, this is meant to relax my body and soul. But I couldn't do that if I can't see what's surrounding me can I?” I nodded in agreement not opening my eyes. “Why do you do that, why not just ask what's on your mind y/n, I never want you to hold back from me. I'll always be open and honest so long as you are" I shrugged my shoulders as he massaged my other foot. “Your eyes are closed but I can still see your mind over working because your heart is pounding y/n, just get it out" he said nibbling my toe. I jerked back and he pulled me into him. “We could seriously float side by side in here, why do you need a tub so big in a ocean" I said hugging his neck trying to drop the stupid insecure girl that surfaced once in awhile. “So I can bring all my honeys into it when I feel the need. I even have a name for the VIP event it's called Hazes honey hot tub express. Its a yearly event, if you play nice, I'll make sure your top of the list” he said poking my side to make me laugh. “ASK Y/N" he held me away from him so he could look at me. I moved behind him and started to rub his shoulders. He was tight and his breathing hitched as I worked on the knots. Our eyes met in the mirror.

“How many” I offered vs asked. “That doesn't count" he smiled loving my touch. “How many others” I said just above a whisper he bit his lip and didn't reply. “How many other woman Harrison” I asked sinking my body lower under the shield of bubbles. He did the same allowing me my space. He held my eyes as he answered securely “None that’s matter like you do. And never has a woman been on this yacht let alone my room or my tub if that's what your asking angel" he pulled me against his chest and we sat against the tub. “Tom and I forbidden it, you made us break our own rule y/n" he smiled against my shoulder kissing it sweetly. “You will in fact, break every single rule we had to protect ourselves from ever hurting our hearts again" he wrapped his long legs around me and started to wash my hair. I looked at him in the mirror as his eyes seemed to go to a far away place and he pinched his eyebrows together as he spoke “I was awkward growing up y/n. I wasn't the cool kid who had lots of friends and girls falling over them. I had Tom and his brothers, a few others but none I can name now. My body grew weird just like me” he laughed rinsing my long hair “I was a virgin until the summer of my graduating year, before my life went to shit" he said sliding under the water. He quickly lathered up his hair and I shaved my legs needing to hear everything he would tell me. I can't say why but with Harrison it mattered more than with Tom. Haz seemed vulnerable like me, perhaps it was part of my attachment to him. “I won't tell you Tom's story, it's his to tell. We handled our own grieving hell differently and however we seen fit I guess. I buried myself in becoming what I am today. I wasn't born to be what I am, sometimes I look in the mirror and the old me shivers at what looks back” he closed his eyes and disappeared under the water again. I sat on my knees to face him once he came up. “What exactly are you Harrison?” I said as he looked away and then back to me. His eyes were glacier cold, no warmth, no softness, no love...no Haz. “I'm a killer y/n" he looked up unable to watch my reaction as he told his story. “When my whole family was taken from me all I had were Tom and his brothers. I love them as if they are my brothers, but I couldn't help the loneliness I felt. I felt like I just followed where Tom led. Harry has always been a buddy to me but Sam can be cold at times. Needless to say, the moment we were presented with the truth of our fathers and a chance to revenge our family's deaths, Tom jumped pulling me right along, or I followed I can't remember anymore" he shook his head looking anywhere but at me. I pulled the plug and shut off the jets. I could tell he was growing anxious with nowhere to go. He looked at me with relief and I smiled knowingly. I stood up and he watched as I dried myself off. He grabbed my lotion out of my hands and ordered me to the bed. I dropped my towel and swayed my hips dramatically as I went in search of my clean clothes.

He dried off fast and was at my side quickly. “Here baby, where these” he said holding up soft batman pajama bottoms. I took them and laughed as he held up another pair “We can twin it, after I lotion you up" he said biting his lip. I slipped on my panties as he put on his batman pjs. “Is batman your favorite superhero?” I asked crawling to the middle of his xl king bed. His living quarters was built to fit him. It was almost a direct reflection of himself. Floor to ceiling was white marble with contrasts of royal and powder blues mixed with silver and dark gray furniture pulling it all into a crisp clean yet relaxing room. He had a beautiful view of the ocean through windows that practically went all the way around. There was a zero gravity chair that reminded me of a hammock. I made a mental note to test that out. He hit a switch that made the windows darken and the fireplace light up. I could hear the ocean fading as the window above the bed closed and turned into a mirror. “Wow, fancy" I said as he crawled to me planting a kiss on my bare tummy. “Wait until you feel the bed heat up” he said hovering over me. I blushed a little and smiled at the necklace he wore that I had gotten him, it tickled my skin ashe bent down and kissed my face with his soft lips. I twisted his wet hair in my fingers as he nibbled my ear then pulled away. “We've made you a naughty girl already” he smiled back as he ran cold lines of lotion down my naked chest, tummy and legs. “I have heaters in the mattress, I don’t like being cold” he smirked as my body responded to his touch. The lotion left my exposed skin cool and full of goosebumps as my back felt the warm bed under me. His long soft fingers massaged anywhere he touched. I was trying to be on my best behaviour, I knew there was so much more he wanted to tell me and I wanted to hear it all before he changed his mind. He rolled me over and made the same lines along my back, ass and legs. “Your so beautiful angel, inside and out” he kissed the small of my back and I pushed my body up on my hands and knees. FUCK ME! I needed to clear my head for him. I shot up from the bed “I need a drink, this bed is hot Haz!” he laughed as he rolled off the bed and walked to the mini bar. He pulled out two glasses with ice and offered me the choice of my ciroc or champagne. “Lets share” I said pointing at the ciroc. He poured and I slipped on one of his clean t-shirts and matching batman bottoms before moving to the couch closest to him. He still had a heavy look in his eyes and it was hurting me to see him like this, he tried to cover it with a smile “You look good in my clothes twin” he handed me my drink and stood against the bar crossing his legs swirling the clear liquor right before he downed it. Shit, I hope Ciroc was the right choice as I did the same. He refilled us and took a small sip..whew! “So tell me, what do you love about batman? I’m an Iron Man girl myself, or if a female superhero, Wonder Woman 100%” I said trying to not be obvious to wanting to talk about his troubles if he wasn’t willing.

“As a kid I’ve always loved him” he smiled before his eyes flashed to the glacier ice cold like they had in the tub, he downed the second glass and I did too, here we go, I thought to myself. Haz didn’t offer more as he started to pace the room. “As I was forced to become my own man so fast he became who, in my mind, I aspired to be like” he shook his head at the thought “Bruce Wayne is rich,charming and head smart in the daylight, at night he turns into a killer only hunting down the bad guys, hated by his own city he wants to protect just for trying to balance out the fucked up in Gotham, then he goes home to an empty house, sleeps and repeats. Story of my life!” He scooped out more ice and filled his glass. He paced back and forth the soft padding of his bare feet was the only noise before he continued. “I had to work extra hard to force myself into being a trained killer, it took me a lot longer than Tom. My heart wasn’t in it, or my head, I wanted to..believe me, FUCK, I was weak I suppose. I had to go through separate training than he did, once he surpassed me as usual, they seperated us to focus on our skill sets. I had to work out twice as hard, twice as much. To break me of my “warm heart” as they called it, they isolated me for weeks at a time in the coldest climates during my training. When I was allowed back around Tom they made sure I stayed in wet clothes as a reminder to not let myself feel or show my “warm emotions” I suffered the whole time we trained side by side, my weak self didn’t want to be without Tom, I also couldn’t let that show so I used it to fuel my brain to get through” his jaw tensed up and he took a long drink. On autopilot he filled us both back up. Wow, this was getting deep, perhaps liquor wasn’t the best for us. He let me take the bottle not even seeming to notice the movements. “I love Tom y/n, I’d give my last breath for him and not think twice. Don’t hate me for this, but if I don’t say what I’ve needed to for so long, I’ll never forgive myself” he said sweeping his eyes over mine and across my face waiting for the reassurance he needed “You can tell me anything Harrison, it won’t leave this room, I promise” he gave me a weak smile and started to pace again.

“Sometimes I felt like Toms fucking shadow. I’ve always been at his side, in his eyes I was his equal, but he don’t know the shit I used to get even growing up being his best friend. He was better at talking to people, he was popular with all the kids, he was better at sports and whatever else we did together. I never let it show because he always included me and made sure to push me so he could have me next to him. He meant it from his heart but others who noticed it let me catch hell for it y/n” he pulled his blonde hair hard as he let out a frustrated growl “I was having a hard time getting anyone to say yes to going to senior prom with me and as a way of helping, Tom convinced our parents to let us take dance lessons. As usual Tom had all the girls in the class flocking to him, even the one I had a secret crush on! I never even told Tom, I knew he would try to “help” me and no fucking way was that going to happen. The dance class ended up like most things did for me, I sat on the sideline and watched. I tried, but like I said before I have two left feet. I hid behind the scenes as the DJ and effects man. I helped make Tom look all the cooler to the my crush. My reward was her asking him to prom and he accepted. I spent that night drinking and hanging with his brothers. My brave ass little sister Charlotte who had a crush on Tom ended our night by kneeing him in the balls as he danced with the girl” he laughed pausing as he soaked in his emotions. It was clear he was drunk. “It was my sister who told Tom on our last holiday together the truth, little shit she was, even tougher than me now I bet...if she had been given the chance” he closed his eyes as one tear fell down his face. I stood up and he held his hand out to stop me. I stayed on the couch as my own tears fell. “The fucked up part of all this is that I’m the asshole in it, when Tom made me tell him the truth about taking my crush to prom and not telling him, he found a way that we both got our man cards that summer. And when Tom found out how they gave me special training through torture, he removed us from their clutches and started our own way to honor our family's.” I followed his teary eyes as they stared straight ahead, looking at himself through the now black windows that reflected like glass “He’s my best mate and brother, together we are the most lethal men on this earth, yet I’m afraid of who you might see when you look at me the way you do y/n. I’ve never crossed any lines without him except the ones we drew for you y/n” he shut his eyes tight “I knew from the moment we all met that things just shifted for us, it sounds so fucked up that him and I made a deal before you even knew how we felt about you y/n” he shook his head rethinking the memory “All my life, until we met you, I felt lesser than..” he choked out “Now with you, I see us all so happy, I don’t want to fuck this up for any of us” he started to crumble

I was already in front of him as he came crashing down. All those truths never spoken over so many years will drop us humans like that. I know from when I told them the truth of my darkest times of my life. I held him against me on the floor as he let go of his pain. When he was done I wiped his tears and looked into his eyes letting him know exactly who and what I seen was him.  One could say it was the Ciroc talking but my heart knew it was beyond that as I spoke it outloud first “I love you Harrison, who you are is my Batman, saving this world from the pain we all felt too early in life, you can never fuck this up for anyone, I promise” his eyes went wide as he let the words float inside his buzzing head he looked at my lips in disbelief “Say it again, please y/n” he said preparing himself. He held my face and his breath “I love you Harrison James Osterfield” his lips crashed into mine hard and he took my breath away as he kissed me deep with unbridled need. He broke away and held me tight to his pounding heart “I love you y/f/n y/m/n y/l/n” he held me for a few minutes before standing up and pulling me to our feet. I walked to the bed as he got us glasses of ice water. He set them down on the nightstand and embraced me in his arms. “Thank you for just listening to me angel, I can’t tell you how much lighter I feel being able to tell someone all of that. I’ve never told a soul, just held onto it like an anchor” I turned into his arms and held tight to him, my head listened to his steady heart and it gave me relief “I really do love you Harrison, you're the first soul outside of my mom I’m able to say that to” he kissed my face soft “I love you just as much angel”

I slipped away from him and he watched me going through all my stuff looking for my phone and ipod. He shook his head laughing when I held them up with a victorious squeal. He held me close as I snapped our picture as twins. I hit record as we said our I love yous again. What can I say, I’m a moments girl at heart! He led me to his system and I selected my place list titled heart. “I’ve been meaning to ask you why your like the only person in the world left that has an ipod and why do you have so many playlist?” he chuckled as I gave him a playful dirty look “Haz

I’m a free spirit. My body is just the shell and my soul drives it through music. Music is my drug of choice. You’ll see as we learn more about each other, I’m my mother's daughter, I was a dancer even in her belly, it’s why she nicknamed me tiny dancer” I smiled as I walked slowly to him, he was going into deep thought mode “Don’t worry I’ll teach you to dance Haz, I’ve accepted it as my heavenly duty” he shook his head in disbelief as I stroked the skin along his spine “I already told you love, I’m a lost cause, I’ve got two..” I cut him off placing my finger against his soft lips “That's my job, I’d tell you if you were a lost cause, I already know your not” He held my gaze trying to believe I wasn’t just saying it to make him feel better. “Want me to prove it?” I asked soft not wanting to lose him to his past insecurities and wanting to give him strength to leave his demons behind, like him and Tom had for me. “You have rhythm Harrison and your not afraid to let loose” he rolled his eyes trying to not smile “Think about us in that bar our first night, you danced with me then. And lets not forget how perfectly you fit against me as we danced back at our hut, just before you gave me my first orgasm, and you might not have noticed but your dancing with me right now” his flesh felt warmer under my fingertips and he smiled big as he realized it was true. We were slowly swaying to the beat of  “Bad Romance the live remix” by 30 Seconds to Mars. He quickly lifted his shirt off my body and kissed my neck sexy and slow still rocking his hips to the rhythm. I felt his cock grow as the Haz I knew came back. “I always wondered what you would like” he whispered kissing my lips smiling his bright sexy smile. I raised my eyebrows in question “My forever..and now I know” His words triggered the Haziness chemicals in my brain and I felt my core heat up, needing all of him.

* Smut...starts here..swim away...swim away*

He backed us up slow until the back of my knees hit the bed and he held onto me so I wouldn't fall away from his lips. He kissed and licked lower between my breast as “Alibi” by 30 Seconds to Mars played in the air. He took my panties and pjs off in one motion kissing my hip and coming back to my breasts. He traced them slow as he took them in with wide eyes. I remembered this was his first chance to touch me here due to his punishment for breaking rules, Harrison was a breast man for sure. He placed light wet kisses around one nipple as his skilled fingers caressed the other one. I was lost just watching him as he slowly cherished me in this moment. My heart was marked again as he looked in my eyes as if to ask my permission. “Make love to me Harrison, please” I said soft tracing his lips and biting my own. He made me gasp as he scraped his teeth along my neck and his necklace make my hot skin tingle. “1 +1 ” started to play by Beyonce and I closed my eyes as he took control of my body the way he wanted. His more than expert hands slid under me forcing my back  to arch my breast right into his waiting and wanting mouth. I grabbed his hair as sucked hard on one and pinched the other enticing..new word.. Pain and soothing it as he rolled it between his soft fingers. I opened my eyes as he repeated the same hunger need on my other breast and nipple. I covered my eyes with one hand as I noticed the mirror above us and adjusted to me looking back at him from a different view. His back muscles flexed as he moved his body lower kissing my stomach, fuck he was sexy. I have to admit it was distracting but hot as sin. 

Harrison ignited me and seemed to lick at the flames he brought about. I sat up on my elbows watching him as he caressed my skin with his tongue. His blue eyes reminded me of the hottest part of a fire as he scorched my soul, his eyes danced with mine. He slid off the bed and pulled me to the edge. I sat up looking down on him on his knees. He was leaning back looking at my body in fascination. I closed my eyes as he kissed each inner thigh making me spread my legs for his viewing pleasure. He ever so gently kissed above my sensitive nub and rested my feet on the edge of the bed frame making me more exposed to him. I gripped his hair as he blew his breath on my wet sex. “Fuck I want to taste you baby, is that okay?” he asked looking at me with hooded eyes. I moaned in response biting my lip and arching my back. I flashed hot as he inhaled my scent “Your smell so delicious angel” I closed my eyes in embarrassment but opened them just as quick as he claimed my sex with his mouth. He flattened his tongue along my silky slit and licked up to the top my clit. “Please..please don’t stop Harrison” I begged holding his hair tighter. He looked up at me and I couldn’t look at anything but the way his soft lips cupped my pussy and sucked on it forcefully yet tender. I rocked my hips to ride his beautiful mouth. I watched his face become wetter with my sex and it turned me on all the more “Harrison I’m so close” I cried out in pleasure. “I love the way you scream my name y/n” he moaned sliding in a finger right towards my G spot. I swear the room went black and I almost fell forward. He held my neck keeping my body straight as he fingered me at a steady pace. His thumb worked my nub in vigorous circles and he slid in another finger. “Fuck your so tight and so so wet baby” I struggled to keep my eyes open as I felt the wave coming fast. I tried to close my legs, I wasn’t ready to let go of this Haz high yet. “Please Harrison..Harrison..” my eyes rolled into my head as he fucked me with his fingers and his tongue making me come undone. “Yes y/n, feed me baby” he moaned as I rode his face faster. I watched as my sex soaked his face and fingers. He was a sexy sticky mess and the look in his eyes told me he wasn’t even close to being done with me. “Your beautiful when you come like that” he said husky as he leaned against me and pressed his face to mine. I could smell my juices on him and I kissed him deep wanting to taste me in his mouth. It was intoxicating. I broke the kiss and moved my body back into the center of the bed waiting on my knees as I touched my breast for him. Harrison stood up from the floor and admired me some more. I would never grow tired of the way he adoringly looked at me. He made me feel both beautiful and sexy. I watched as he slid off his batman pjs and whimpered at his long smooth cock that sprang free.

“Your the beautiful one Hazzy” I said biting my lips. He took a deep breath and let it out shaky as I looked at him with my hungry eyes. FUCK, I’ve wanted this man since I first felt his skin against mine on that hot day as I held him in my hands, I felt my core heat with the memory. “Dress” by Taylor Swift swirled around us as I patted the bed in front of me and his face flushed red. I reached for him as he hesitated, unsure of what to do “My turn to taste you Harrison” I said in a persuasive tone. My eyes were fixated on his as he reached for me in return. He laid on his back and his cock stood at attention. He gripped it in both hands as if to hide it from me. “Harrison” I said looking at him in amusement with his eyes closed. “Hazzy” I said kissing his neck, trying to relax him and ease whatever he was feeling. He let go of himself and pulled me closer to his face “You don’t have to do this baby” he said sounding unsure of himself. “I know Haz, but I want to, just like I wanted to on that hot hot day on the jet ski” I watched him gulp down his fear as he remembered that day “I need all of you Harrison, every fucking drop” I said seductive moving my fingertips to his exposed cock and closed my eyes as I felt his drop of precum that beaded at the tip. I sucked my finger that held his creamy drop. He let out a throaty groan and watched me as I slowly kissed his chest and worked my way down his tan hard body with my wet sloppy kisses. His breathing became shallow and I kissed each hip and put my palm flat onto his sexy stomach sliding it under his erection and up towards my lips. He looked at me wide eyed ready to stop me, before he had time to react I circled his thick head with my wet warm tongue and took him as deep as I could before choking. “Fuckkkk..” he hissed as I adjusted my head and angled it to take more of him in. I used my thumb and finger to work his head applying pressure around the rim as i licked his shaft soaking him with my mouth. His hips thrusted upwards as I ran my nail over his sensitive sac and swirled the pool of saliva  very carefully over his nerves that clung to his balls. I worked him from the base up with my other hand and squeezed his length tight as he rocked his hips up and down with my rhythm. His eyes were shut tight and his mouth was wide open as he held tight to control his release. I pressed my hand down hard on his lower abdomen muscles stopping his movements. “We have a long way to go Harrison, let me take you there” I said as he opened his eyes. He was worked up, I know he couldn't hold back much longer. He pushed my long hair out of his way so he could watch as I replaced my hands with my mouth. I kissed his head and ran my sexy tongue through his cum that secreted out. My eyes met his as I moaned at his sweet taste, they were dark with desire, his pupils were fully dilated only allowing a hint of sky blue. I opened my mouth wide and kept eye contact as I took his entire length to the very back of my throat. He gripped my hair and held me there for a fraction of a moment. He blew out a breath as I tasted more of him. My eyes burned and I felt them water as he withdrew himself slightly. I felt my sex twitch as he said pleaded so sexy. “Y/N I cant hold on like this” he panted I worked my head up and down faster keeping pressure on his tip with my thumb making sure he let me have control of his release. “y/n..y/n..” he whimpered as he started to rock his hips again. Haz was coming undone. I moved my hand and worked his cock feverishly as he gripped the sheets hard in his hands. I closed my eyes and opened my throat wider to let him explode in my mouth. “I’m going to cum, fuck I’m going to cum in your mouth angel” he gripped my hair in his hands keeping my head still as he thrusted once more. He screamed my name making his voice crack as he erupted his hot cream inside my mouth. My eyes widen as I looked at him coming undone. He was a beautiful mess, his eyes looked from mine to his cock still pulsating in my mouth. He traced my neck with his finger seeming just amazed as I felt. He gasped as I increased the pressure on him with my tongue, squeezing out the last drops as I slowly removed him. He shivered involuntary as I sat back admiring my work. He was glistening with sweat and covered his eyes with his arm as he caught his breath. I closed my legs feeling my sex pooling at my opening. I was a hot mess too.

I drank water to cool me down. I wanted to keep going, I needed more, it was never enough. Perhaps they had turned me into a naughty girl,I laughed to myself. What's funny he asked taking the glass from my hands and downing the rest. I shook my head as he rubbed the cold glass against my nipples. The drops of precipitation ran down my stomach and he watched raising his eyebrow as he noticed my glistening sex. “Lay back all the way y/n” he commanded. I did as told and he kissed me greedily his cold tongue mixed with my hot one made me tingle. “I want you inside me Haz” i said as licked down to my erect nipples. “You will baby, very soon, but first I want to take care of this” he said pinching my swollen nub and making me squirm from under him. He held my hips keeping me in one spot as he set the cold glass on my belly button. I sucked in a deep breath at the shock of the feel being too cold for my hot hot skin. “Too cold” I yelped reaching to move the glass. He hovered over my body pinning both my arms over my head. “Haz please” I whined as it started to numb my flesh “Let's make a deal angel, the faster you cum in my mouth again, the faster you can have me inside you” he bit his lip as he rubbed his hard cock against my wet sex. SHIT. I hadn’t know he was that close and hard again. I arched my back to get more of a feel of him. The glass nearly fell over and he stopped it. He took out a ice cube and rolled it around each nipple making me shiver. “What are you doing Haz?” I asked confused going into sensory overload. “I’m enjoying you angel, now tell me we have a deal” he said sucking my pebbled freezing nipple into the heat of his mouth. “Oh, wow” I said loving the contrast. “We have a deal” I agreed as he took out another ice cube and trailed in down my stomach “the only rule is that you can’t knock this glass over or I won’t let you cum, okay baby?” he asked as my body reacted to the melting ice on my burning flesh. I whimpered in agreement just needing him to touch me in any way. He placed the ice in his mouth and gilded it across the skin of my inner thighs. I learned quick that if I moved even to watch him or grab his hair the glass would threaten to fall over. FUCK, this would be harder than I thought! I closed my eyes and focused on my breathing, wondering how the hell this would play out. He dipped his finger in the glass making it cold before slipping it inside me without warning. “Harrison” I cried out restricted in movement as he made quick work of my pool of warmness. “Yes baby, be my good girl” he encouraged as he rubbed his nose over my throbbing nub. I panted as he slipped in another finger and angled his wrist tapping my g-spot. “This isn’t fair” I cried out as he pressed against my pelvic bone creating a pressure that I’ve never felt before. My body was demanding me to ride his fingers but he had forbidden me to and restrained my movements. I was going crazy trying to just let him do all the pleasuring. “Harrison I can’t I can’t” I groaned out feeling tortured “you can y/n, you can,I can feel you already gripping my fingers” he encouraged kissing my thigh. I heard the clink of ice as my beating heart roared in my ears. My eyes shot open when I felt him rub the ice around my sensitive clit. “Holy FUCK, Haz please please” I begged asking for help. I had blocked out the mirror until now and watched helplessly as his arm muscles flexed with each thrust his fingers gave me. I opened my legs wider to get a view of more as he slipped the ice inside me cooling my sex just as I was ready to explode “No no no!” I cried at the way it caused my wave to recede instead of crash down. “Don’t worry y/n, your Hazzy has you covered” he said before assaulting my clit with his hot mouth. He sucked my nub hard into his mouth and flicked his tongue over and around it as he removed his fingers as my wave rolled in too fast. I gave zero fucks as I grabbed his hair knocking the glass over and down my hot sex and his face. He moaned as I sat up and grinded my core against his lips and face hard. I came with such a force that it ran down my ass and soaked him and the bed. He lifted my body more on him letting me fuck his beautiful face however I wanted. He rubbed my silk against my ass and lightly pressed just the tip of his finger inside while his thumb and tongue filled my kitty. My eyes rolled back into my head as I came again back to back. I was screaming his name and I didn’t care if the rest of the world could hear me, I felt like I was never going to stop.

He didn’t give me a moment to even catch my breath before he removed his face from my legs and kissed me with uncontrollable hunger. We both gasped for air as he drowned me in my own juices. I wrapped my legs around Hazes back and reached for his long cock. No way was he stopping us now. I rubbed him against my opening soaking him before I wrapped my arms around his back. He kissed me deep as I pulled him down on me and arched my back so he was at my entrance. He circled his thick head through the ocean he created himself. He slid in slow and I scratched his back moaning into his mouth as I stretched to fit him. He broke away and buried his face in my neck. “Y/N I want to go slow, but I’m not going to last” his apology softly laced with unraveling control. He let out a harsh breath as he carefully sank deeper and slowly pulled back, pumping himself just once, hitting my wall and pushing against it until he was all the way inside me. My walls gripped him as did my nails into his arms. He whipped his face towards me looking panicked as if he remembered this was still painful for me. His whole body and mood changed in a heartbeat and I held him to me before he broke us apart. “It’s okay Haz, just stay like this for a moment” I said wrapping my legs tight around his ass so he wouldn’t pull out. “Angel, I’m sorry, I got carried away” he said sounding panicked and worried. “Harrison please...please baby, it’s okay, just let me adjust okay?” I asked kissing his shoulders. His blue eyes watched me with concern as I moved my ass upwards taking some pressure off my core he was buried against. I let out a sharp breath as I rolled my hips in circles forcing my body to adjust to his length. The more I did the more my sex opened for Haz. He stayed still probably afraid to hurt me if he moved. I moved one hand to his blonde hair guiding it to my breast and my other hand coaxed him to pump slow as I gripped his side. “Make love to me Harrison, I want you” I encouraged as he looked at my face. He kissed me full of passion as he circled his cock around and pushed in and out slowly. I could hear the noises from my wetness as he slipped in and out. I looked up in the mirror and watched his back muscles work as he kissed my breast and slid his arms under my shoulders. His ass was rock hard as he tested his new fit softly pumping in and out. I closed my eyes as I nearly came watching him making me feel so fucking good. He must have felt me hold back because he moaned at the same time. “Deeper Haz, deeper” I cried out as he bit my neck. “I’m going to cum inside you if I do that, I’m too close” he warned looking in my eyes. I bit my lip as he thrusted a little harder. He circled my nub pumping his full length into me, fuck it hurt so good “Yes Haz yes” I screamed as he brought me to climax again. He lost control as he buried himself inside me and moaned my name. He held me still as we both felt him pulsate inside me. He stayed there in my arms until we started to drift off into sleep. He groaned as I slid him over grabbing the edge of the sheet, he wined in protest until he understood what I was doing. I kissed his forehead and raised the temperature of his bed warmer and turned off the lights with one remote. He smiled against my back as he pulled me into his body. “I love you so much y/n” he whispered tangling his long legs with mine I kissed his hand and placed it back on my waist “I love you too Harrison”   

Requested tags: @tom-hollands-eyelash @animatedcaffeinatedwebhead @hollandfangirl @frootloop311 @fallingforspidey @smexylemony

To all us Tom and Haz lovers, the struggle is strong! In bed with one and wanting the other is torture! I’m going to need some guidance on how to get us all together lol..I have a few ideals, but happy reading until next time! 

If you like what your seeing, please let me know with a like and a reblog!! It helps boost my power to keep going! Hugz!!