#killer chest workout

[fitnessmentor]

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[kaivenom]

One piece men first reaction to having a wet dream about you

Characters: Zoro, Luffy, Sanji, Kid, Killer, Law

Warnings: NSFW, obviously

A/N: i am starting to think that i will put some of the future preferences with multiple parts, to give the One Piece Dilf a place too.

Masterlist

Monkey D. Luffy

Is surprised, a lot. He was dreaming about meat and suddently it transformed in your body, naked.

The cream of cakes and the juices from the meat covering all your body in a revealing pose.

When he oppened his eyes, he stared at the ceiling trying to process why you were on his dream.

Then he realized how his stomach felt strange and his pants incredibly tight.

He knew that feeling wasn't from hunger, so he let his hand travel to his crotch and palm it thru the underwear.

It felt really good, he finally slided his hand on his underwear and started to pump slowly his cock.

All he could think about is your body and how good would that image look in front of him.

When he was on the edge of cumming, he realized that maybe it he should go talk to you.

A broken moan escaped his lips while he got up from the bed, with a painfully hard member.

He needed to know if you can help him.

Roronoa Zoro

He feels "horrified", he tents to avoid feelings, talks or being emotional involved with anyone.

So, when he dream about you sucking him off with a smile, he got into a really bad mood.

Everyone noticed but nobody could know why, he got especially tense when you were around.

The end point came on lunch, when he had to saw you eat a hot dog, his mind went crazy of reminiscing all the things from his dream.

He went fast to the crow's net and tried to workout all the feelings away.

He got hard, really hard, to the point he couldn't concentrate on nothing.

After a whole hour of changing exercizes furiously, he sat down, trembling, sweating and whimpering... but not from the workout.

With a dissapointed grunt he started to jerk off, at first crusing your name with irritation and at the end letting out breathless moans.

He cummed a lot, all over his body. His only thought while he was heading to the showers was not to bump into you.

Vinsmoke Sanji

His hand was on his pants even before he wakes up.

He moans, whimpers and sights with every touch he imagine you do to him.

The vision of your breasts bouncing while you ride him, unable to touch you because his hands are tied up, that drives him crazy.

He doesn't know if he is still asleep or he is already awake, but he cums undone with a really loud moan.

He is not very good at pretending or trying to be quiet.

Then he felt bad about dishonoring you, but felt sooo good to him.

His day went crazy from there, having some avoidant attachment we could say.

He changes between being your living servant and licking your feet to locking himself on the kitchen.

You didn't understand that, it was really weird, but in fact, he gets away to hide the boner you make him feel.

He usually controls his impulses but after that dream he can't keep his hands out of himself.

He really wanted to aproach you on the kitchen and eat you out there, but he can't .... and then he feels bad about imagine it again.

He has a huge conflict between his desires and his chivalry.

Trafalgar Law

He feels ... unproffesional, he is your captain and you are his subordinate, he can't dream about that.

He tries to stay away from you, not from guilt but from embarrasment, from seeing you and only picturing your body riding him while he presses his chest against yours.

Then as the day passed by he starts to get closer to you, not conscientiously but his body someone tried to have some contact.

A little brush on the dinning room, setting himself behind you to get something on a "higher" shelf.

He tries to find excuses to see you alone, trying to have the courage to make a move... saying it to you or kissing you but he couldn't do it.

That lead to unnecesary visits to his office, helping him with some "new" projects on the lab, giving him books, etc.

At the end you spent all the day making stupid walks around the submarine and you got so angry you yelled at him.

He won't admit this part, but you made him hard with your yells at him.

Eustass Kidd

He gets up, not surprised at all to dream about you, he knows exactly what you do to him.

But dreaming about taking you from the back, all in four, his hands on your ass pressing firmly, that caught him out off guard.

He went to take a shower and couldn't resist to jack off under the hot water.

And It works, he is not hard anymore... Until he saw you later on the deck.

He is a very direct person but also a very arrogant one.

That results in having him trying to sound like a fuck boy, making you desire him and show it, before he even tells you he wants to fuck you.

Showing of his muscles and attributes, being extra confident and dominant thinking that the kind of stuff you like.

Once he realized he doesn't need to be that extravagant and just sit there and whisper naughty things on your ears, he will win his prize.

Killer

His dream his very connected with feelings becuase you two were in missionary, you looking at him with heart eyes full of love and lust. (without his helmet)

Goes straight forward to tell you.

Very mature from him, and plus having the helmet he can hide his blush.

When you go to take breakfast, he tells you, sounding very relaxed. He is trying to hide the fact that he is still hard.

He went so fast to tell you that his member didn't catch the message yet.

He presses his body to the counter trying to hide it.

He doesn't want to scary you or make you uncomfortable, he just wants to talk things.

After that, he tries to make distance a little bit to give you time to think.

But he can't help but give small glances to your body, he can't help it... and the helmet helps to be discreet.

[hookedonhuge]

Coach's Special Massage

Getting your big, beefy pecs groped by your coach was not how you imagined your Tuesday night. 

You were the star player of your team. You were a natural born athlete and you had the body to match it. Every muscle in your body was huge; balloons of cements that were hard as steel and looked ready to burst. It was all thanks to your dedicated exercise routine that you followed religiously for years on end.

But one day, your coach approached you and insisted that you needed a massage therapy session. Something about trying to alleviate your stress after the scandal that came to light. Something about cheating on your girlfriend with other girls. No clue which ones they were talking about. The number ‘three’ kept coming up but your team and coach must have known it was way more than that. 

To be honest, you weren’t stressed one bit, but you weren’t going to turn down a massage, that is, until you found out that it was your coach giving you the massage and not some hot masseuse. Of course, he didn’t tell you that until you were already lying down on the massage table fully naked except for a small towel that barely covered your large package. You protested but your coach was stern, he was, after all, the only person you ever listened to (and that was only some of the time). His deep voice was commanding yet calming, just the right combination to be able to get you to give up the argument. You supposed your muscles needed a good cooldown after your killer workout that day anyway.

You had never met anyone as strong as yourself, and were certain you never would. However, coach was actually quite strong too, and it was perhaps why you showed at least a little bit of respect towards him. However, having your chest fondled by his large, calloused hands was quite the role reversal for you. He pressed deep into your muscle tissue with his thick fingers, uncovering all sorts of knots in your expansive chest. It hurt but it felt amazing. 

After coach had given your pecs a thorough rub down, he moved onto your giant tree-trunk legs. It was when he was massaging your inner thigh that coach pressed down on a particularly sensitive spot in your muscles that made you wince in pain. For the first time during the session you opened your eyes and you met coach’s firm gaze by accident. Sweat dripped from his prominent brow and he was panting from exertion. You never realised how big he was. Those veiny arms, those meaty pecs, those sculpted abs, he was just a coach but he could have passed as an olympian. It shouldn’t have been a surprise that someone as strong as coach was needed to give someone as big as you a proper massage. 

Coach continued to knead your thighs like dough. He was able to make your hard muscles soft, as if he was unlocking some hidden strength inside of them that made them expand. Like a loaf of bread rising in an oven, your muscles were becoming large and fluffy in response to coach’s special massage.

He continued working his magic on your body, as he did his hands made their way further up your inner thigh. Coach’s intensity never waned and his forceful and methodical strokes continued to cause you pain. It was a beautiful, deep, healing pain that exposed a feeling of vulnerableness that was buried within you. It was uncomfortable to feel that vulnerability yet as soon as his fingers released their tight bind a reassuring warmth flooded in to replace it. That cycle of comfort and discomfort, it was overwhelming and at the same time made you completely content. 

By this point, coach was completely in control of you. You anxiously anticipated his every touch, your entire being yearning for his return whenever his hands left your body. Your emotions were connected to his fingers, as if he were a puppet master, and he graciously continued to pull your strings instead of leaving you hanging.

As coach’s hands made their way up even further up your thigh, they reached parts of your muscles that were unbearably tender. Having those spots massaged, it made your skin glisten with sweat and it laboured your breath. You felt like you were burning; you were hot, coach was hot, it was all hot. It wasn’t just hot, it was sensual.

You hadn’t realised, but the towel that was covering your crotch was ever so slowly being lifted up by some great force underneath. It was only when it slid down and landed on your impeccably toned lower abdomen that it dawned on you the effect that coach’s massage was having. 

“It’s only natural.” Coach said to you in a hushed tone. “Nothing to be ashamed of.” It was all the reassurance you needed at that moment. Coach’s hands were so far up your thighs that they were almost brushing against your heavy balls. His massage was reaching a new level of pain, and to accompany it was an equal level of pleasure.

When coach’s knuckle grazed the underside of one of your nuts, it was as if a circuit had been completed. You were electrified. The feeling of pressure on your deep muscle tissue, the feeling of the humid air blowing across your nipples, the feeling of coach’s sweat falling from his face onto your sculpted abs; it was all too much. Your manhood pointed directly to the ceiling, now displaying the full extent of its impressive length and girth.

Coach grabbed it.

His hand, a man’s hand, grasped firmly onto the base of your shaft. It was heaven. Heaven for a sinner. That’s what made it so great. The fact that it was wrong, all wrong, but right, undoubtedly right. Boiling hot skin against boiling hot skin. The fires of hell met the fires of hell, and it was heaven.

He was so slow at first. He wanted you to feel every crease and callus on his hand. Enough time for you to understand the anatomy of his hand; understand the size, power and function of each muscle in it. You learnt how each tiny pore on his palm absorbed sweat and the amazing texture it created. You might have failed biology in the past but at this moment you understood it all.

Then it got faster. It started at the head, the head that was sensitive, swollen, and begging for release. Then down every countless inch, tracking along the thick, serpentine vein that ran its length. Finally, it slammed into the base, pummelling into the spongy balls below and sprang all the way back up. It was one step performed one after the other, and it was also all at once.

Then it got even faster. It was a whole body experience. All the training, all those years in the gym, it led up to that moment. Every muscle working in unison to stop you from exploding. Your breath stopped. Your thoughts stopped. Coach stopped.

The massage resumed. It was his other hand now, and it was your balls. Your balls that were completely filled to the brim, so much so that the skin had no ability to stretch any further. Yet, coach still massaged. He pressed, he squeezed. His thumb glided to one side and the mass displaced into the other side. He was an expert.

“Your past.” His voice. Deep, calming, instructive. His words were all you needed. “Can’t be forgiven, but we can move on from that.” He tightened his grip on your balls. “You are far too good to give up on.” He started stroking the length of your shaft again. “So let’s just put all this girl stuff behind us.” He started slowly. “Instead, focus on your team. Your team of men.” Then he picked up his pace. “Men. Strong men, like me and you.” It became faster. “Men who will support you, fill all your needs.” And faster. “All your desires.” You couldn’t hold it in much longer. “Men.” You were on the very edge of your climax. “Just men.”

For the first time in your life you moaned. You moaned loud and shamelessly. It was completely contrary to the person you were before. Luckily, the person you were before is gone. When you erupted like a volcano, like a burst pipe, like a fire hydrant; nothing was left behind. Your brain had melted into a white, creamy liquid and it was shot out of you. Then it rained back down on you like a tropical shower; hot, humid, and sticky.

You were on a better path now. A path towards becoming a bigger person, both morally and physically. It was all thanks to him. Coach. He showed you the power of men that you foolishly thought you already had. You learnt that night the power of men coming together, and what a wonderful feeling it is.

[bbyjackie]

𝐇𝐄'𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓'𝐒 𝐋𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐈𝐍 𝐌𝐘 𝐒𝐘𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐌, 𝐁𝐀𝐁𝐘!

relationship headcanons with one piece feat: luffy, zoro, kid, law

warnings: fluff

(header by Loni)

𝙇𝙐𝙁𝙁𝙔 has a constant need to be around you. he follows you around absentmindedly everywhere like a puppy, sometimes it can be a bit of a nuisance.

"y/n it was so funny! usopp's hand was just stuck in the pipe and he was screaming for like an hour 'til franky saw him!" luffy cackled, a gummy grin etched onto his features as you felt your finger grow numb by the second. "hm, i bet.." you let out a light hearted scoff, trying to pull your hand back. it felt like with each tug of your hand, instead of loosening the grasp luffy had, it only made his arm stretch further. "but luf, i need you to let go off my finger!" you groaned under your breath as you felt your back grow sore from the odd angle. you were shrimping with your spine feeling like it was bent to a full right angle just trying to pull away from the - sorry, your rubber boy as he made very clear. you couldn't see him but you could already envision his dopey smile turn into a massive pout. "ehh? why do i need to let go?" "because if you don't want me to become an usopp and start screaming you're gonna have to let go sweetie!" "i dont see why i have to.." "luf as much as i love you, i'm not taking a shit with your hand snaked through the door like that."

we all know 𝙕𝙊𝙍𝙊 has the worst sense of direction, but it always becomes comedy, especially when you're mid argument with him.

"stop being so dramatic!" zoro groans as his fist pounds against the wooden door of your bedroom. "come on out y/n!", he waited for a moment only to be met with silence. you had turned away from him mid workout after he told you that he doesn't need someone to smother him like an over obsessive mother. you must be pissed. not that it's your fault, he shouldn't have turned you away, you were just worried for him. letting go of his pride, zoro's hand loosens as he purses his lips and thinks for a moment, "hey, 'em sorry, i shouldn't have said that." again, there is just utter silence. feeling dejected, zoro turns his back just to see you with an amused smirk and hands crossed against your chest and usopp giving him the most massive side eye from around the corner of the hallway. "that's great and all that you apologised marimo," you giggled, usopp jumps in, "dude, that's the utility closet."

𝙆𝙄𝘿 is always in stage one: denial. every time anyone brings up the fact that he is utterly whipped for you, his face blows red and he gets soo mad. but the thing is, he secretly keeps small trinkets of yours just so he can feel closer to you.

kid was busy at work with a screwdriver in one hand and the other keeping this small steel mechanism as still as he could. his crimson red eyes staring down intensely at the work on his bench. every time he gets concentrated like this, you could almost see the vertex of his tongue poking through the corner of his red-stained lips. "kid!" you shouted, scampering around the room, as you finally landed behind him, hands secured on either side of his broad shoulders. "hah?" kid gruffed, head leaning backwards, hitting against your chest as he looked up from his desk, "what?" "have you seen my bracelet?" you pouted, tilting your head slightly to the side as you noticed from your peripheral that the arm that was not mechanical twitch slightly. "i can't find it.." kid immediately scoffs, turning his head back down to his work. "no how would i know where it is!" "hmm okay, just asking.." when kid finally leaves his workbench, killer glances at him from the side of the kitchen. "y/n was looking for their bracelet." "yeah i know." "did you find it?" "why the hell would i know where it is?" "so the silver bracelet with a pink bunny pendant on your wrist is 100% yours?" "shut up - yeah it is mine so what!" "okay sanrio girl calm down."

𝙇𝘼𝙒 has to remind himself that he loves you dearly. you're the first person to make him feel this way. so when you're absolutely eating it up in the middle of his study with ice spice blaring through the den den mushi, he tries his best to live laugh love.

"HE SAYS THAT I'M WHAT?!" you shout, hand gripping the makeshift pen mic up to penguin as law tries his best to concentrate on the med book he has in his hand. he swears to himself that next time he'll never let you in this room again. "GOOD ENOUGH, GRABBIN' MY DUH' DUH' DUH'" penguin answers, nodding along as bepo stands utterly in the corner with the den den mushi in his hands. "THINK 'BOUT SHIT THAT I SHOULDN'T HAVE!" before you can really show your shit, law immediately shambles you guys out of the room. "law, i'm sorry!!" you plead from outside his room as the boys stand awkwardly behind you, ice spice still playing yet way quieter than before from bepo's hands. "c'mon!!" law swears he loves you, but if he hears another t-that boy's a liar! that boy's a liar! he's going to rip his ears off.

[russellsppttemplates]

I'm always over the moon (Lando Norris)

A look into your and Lando's little life moments

Note: english is not my first language. It's fluffy, so you know I pratically melted (and am now feeling single in about seventeen different levels)✨️

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Tw: mentions accident drop of a glass and possibility of injury

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog

Today's training session was particularly hard, Jon having Lando run a considerable amount of kilometres more than the usual distance followed by a weights session. By the time he was finished his cryotherapy session, he was more than ready to go home and snuggle up to you in the sofa.

Setting his keys on the little bowl by the door, Lando left his shoes on the coat cabinet by the door before walking to the ensuite bathroom where he heard noise from.

"I'm home, baby", he said, crossing the corner and resting his body on the side of the door, watching you rub product on your face.

"Hey, Lan", you smiled at him through the mirror, putting the lid on the pot you were using and storing it away.

Approaching him, you laced your arms around his neck, fingers playing with the curls ay the nape of his neck, "how was your session?", you wondered before kissing his lips.

"It was a killer, Jon set out to push me to the limit today", he hummed, hands finding your waist and holding your body close to his, "and you?", he checked.

"I worked all day, finally finished the prototypes for the next Quadrant campaign, then I worked out and I was just finishing my shower when you arrived", you added.

"I should've come home earlier, I could have joined you in there", he smirked, lowering his head to your neck and kissing the skin softly, earning your giggles as you squirmed.

"You're tickling me", you smiled, curling yourself closer against him, "but it's alright, baby, we'll do it another time".

When you separated yourself from his slightly, Lando noticed what you were wearing, "ugh, baby, I don't know what would be better, getting home when you were in the shower or this", he complimented.

"What do you mean?", you scrunched your eyebrows, looking down at your outfit. Because you had moisturised your whole body, from head to toe, after your workout, you decided to put on your tiny pyjamas shorts and one of Lando's t-shirts, the bottom piece fitting your thighs loosely while his t-shirt fit snug on your hips and chest, the fabric leaving little to the imagination. Even though he knew everything it kept away, he loved the way your curvilinear body looked in his t-shirt.

"I love it when you wear my clothes, they look so good on you, too god even", he nibbled on your ear lobe, hands tapping your thighs so you knew to jump and wrap your legs around his waist.

"I thought you were too tired, baby", you brushed the curls away from his eyes, "I am, but that doesn't mean I won't spend the evening glued to you", he winked, carrying you to the sofa in the living room, laying you both down and wrapping you both in a blanket.

"Can't have you feeling cold, baby", he mumbled, fixing the blanket before his hand travelled under the t-shirt and settled on your tummy, making you hum in content, "I love you, baby", you cooed.

.

"Alright, let's get to work!", Lando clapped after setting the last box on the living room floor.

When you moved all of the things you wanted to Monaco, Lando insisted you should bring your favourite books, reasoning that the apartment should also have some of your things instead of just his helmets for decoration. So, three boxes were shipped with your favourite book collections and stand alones and, you and Lando took the afternoon to organise them.

"I get this can be boring for you, Lan, I can do it myself if you want to go stream or just game", you added, kissing his cheek lovingly.

"Absolutely not, baby, I want to help you! So, how do you want this?", he asked as he looked at what was in the boxes, "do you want to do this by colour? Genre? Date? The ones you've read and the ones you haven't read yet", he suggested.

"We can go a bit with the colour schemes you already have with the helmets", you tried, looking over at the colour palette the books made up.

Wiping the shelves one last time, you sat on the floor and handed the books over to your boyfriend, guiding him through the order and way you wanted to display them.

"Oh, I remember this one - I read it to you the first time I spent the night at your place! You didn't want to seem weird and admit you needed to read a little before going to bed and thought you could go without it for one night!", he smiled at the memory, "Little did you know that it was another one of the things that attracted me to you and I was more than happy to read to you", he winked, leaving you flustered as you handed him the next book, "very smooth, Mr. Norris", you blushed.

"I like to keep you on your toes", he chuckled, "next, there's room for that big collection there", he pointed to the eight books that shared the same design, "might be a tight squeeze, but I think it's fine", he muttered as you handed him the books.

By the time you finished, the living room looked like a good mixture of you and Lando. The books added a pop of colour and softer tone along with the new picture frames you scattered.

"It looks great", Lando said, pulling you closer to him as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder, "our home is coming together nicely", he kissed the side of your head.

.

"They can spend the day, of course I don't mind", you smiled as you out the cutlery away in the drawer.

"It's your home too, baby, just wanted to make sure you're fine with it", Lando reasoned as he wiped the counter.

It was still weird to refer to the apartment as your home, but you wouldn't have it any other way. Closing the door and moving to the cups drying on the counter, you grabbed a tea towell and started drying them before setting them in the cupboard.

"I'll make sure to not make too much noise, or I can go and work at the café down the street, it's - shoot!", you cursed as the glass slipped from your hold, falling on the floor and shattering into little pieces.

"Careful, darling, you might hurt yourself more", Lando urged, stretching his arms and helping you stand where there were no glass shards.

"I'm sorry, I thought the towell wasn't that slippery", you said as Lando scanned your hands for any cuts or injuries, moving to your feet and ankles.

"It's okay, baby, I don't care about the glass, I care about you", he kissed your fingers, "there's a little graze here", he pointed to the small nick on your skin, "go wash it off while gather these", he kissed your cheek and looked for the broom.

Making sure he had sweeped all of it and then passing the vacuum cleaner just to make sure, Lando finished putting the glasses away as you stood by the door, "it's fine,Y/N, we'll go to IKEA and get a new one", he conforted, "now, are we ready for bed?", he wondered as he held your hand as you walked to the bedroom.

.

"My shoulders are killing me, I think I slept funny", you mumbled, trying to find a good position against the office chair, Lando's look questioning your movements.

"Are you in pain? You should've said something", he tutted, hands coming to rub the muscles along your shoulders and neck as Ria went over the latest filming plans.

"Y/N, are you okay, girl?", Ria asked, concerned at the faces you were pulling, "are you sure he's helping you rather than making it worse?", she teased.

"Hey!", Lando yelled, "I'm trying to be a great boyfriend, making sure she's feeling well and taken care of! I think that's jealousy", he smirked, poking his tongue out at her.

"It's feeling good, handsome, especially right there", you groaned, earning a whistle from Max.

"If you guys need a room, I'm sure they can find something relatively kept away!", he laughed, luckily missing the pillow your boyfriend threw at him, "no need to resort to violence, guys!".

"Bring that pillow over here, please, I actually need it", you asked him, taking it from his hands as he quickly walked away, "what, are you afraid I was going to make you trip?", you giggled.

"I don't know, the two of you are never up to any good!", Max raised his hands in defense as Lando kissed your forehead, "He's just jealous because we're a great team and P isn't here with him".

.

Weekends with no racing and no plans quickly became your favourite because you were able to spend as much time as you possibly could with Lando, the triple header ahead of you already promising to make spending time just with him on your own a bit difficult.

When Lando woke up like clockwork, he stretched his neck just enough to watch you sleep cuddled up to his side, your hand grabbing a handful of the sheets that were keeping you warm as you peacefully slept, and knowing how much Quadrant had kept you up late that past week, he thought it would be nice to let you sleep for a bit longer.

Carefully getting up to not wake you up, Lando kissed your cheek soflty and made his side of the bed, tucking the sheets around your body as he lightly kissed your head one last time before he went to the ensuite to change into his workout clothes.

Heading to the kitchen, Lando filled his water bottle and grabbed a pre-workout snack to take to the home gym. Looking at the equipment in the room and the cardio indications Jon had sent him, he decided that he was going on the bike, figuring that, even though the sound isolation was pretty good, it would be the least likely to make too much noise to the point of waking you up, following up with some weights and then stretching.

He was all sweaty when he walked back into the bedroom, ready to have a shower when he heard the sheets ruffling, "hey, baby, good morning", he smiled, "you can go back to sleep, I just need to take a shower, I'm sorry I woke you up", he pouted.

"Morning", you yawned, "I'm going to shower with you", you smiled sleepily, getting up and joining him in the ensuite.

Leaving your clothes in a pile on the floor, Lando got the shower started, making sure the water was warm as you both liked before stepping in with you, letting the water wash away before you grabbed your shower gel, lathering it on Lando's hands and then on yours as you both helped the other wash off, stealing kissing and caresses along the way.

When you got back to the bedroom and dressed in lounge wear clothes, you were ready to have breakfast, finding the overnight oats in the kitchen, "I don't mind if you want to eat something else", Lando offered.

"These are good, I don't mind it", you said, "but I am going to make my latte because my brain can't go without the caffeine", you scrunched up your nose, earning his giggles as you turned on the coffee machine.

"Can I have a little sip, please?", Lando asked once you frothed up the milk, "of course, here baby", you encouraged, bringing the mug up to his lips and having your hand form a shell under it just in case it spilled.

Lando was left with a little foam moustache, earning a giggle from you as you kissed him, "my little frothy man", you cupped his cheek before kissing him properly, "I love you, Y/N", he whispered, pulling you into his embrace.

.

"You pick the movie, I have to go pee", you said to your boyfriend, letting him walk inside the living room as you continued down the hall to the bathroom.

For tonight's plan, you and Lando decided to stay in and cook together, wanting to enjoy the small task without rushing or heating up something from his meal plan, still making something healthy and approved by his team.

When you got back to the living room,

Lando had his Spotify app on the TV, a slow song you recognised from his brother's wedding playlist ready to play, "would you do me the honour of joining me in this dance?", he asked, kissing your knuckles before looking up at you, eyes sparkly as you replied, "yes, I will", you smiled, allowing him to push you flush to his chest, slowdancing in the living room once he started the song, your head in his chest listening to his steady heartbeat.

"Everyday I thank my lucky starts that we met, that I was bold enough to ask you out and that you've stayed with me all of these years", he broke the silence as he unattached his lips from your temple, "and I never want to loose this, little touches, giggles, wins and losses, all of it", he smiled.

"You're the best thing that has happened to me, Lando", you cupped his face in your hands, thumbs brushing his cheeks as he smiled, "I can only hope you feel as happy as I do when I'm with you".

"Darling, with you, I'm always over the moon", he giggled, kissing your lips softly as he stumbled you two into the sofa, roaming hands and tongues battling eachother as a night of love and passion unfolded.

[daengtokki]

part eight // serial killer!Kim Seungmin/afab reader

WC: 13k

RATING: mature/explicit/mdni—contains: self harm, hallucinations, monsters(?), medication mention, pregnancy, fluff...and a new OC

SYNOPSIS: Seungmin floats through life alone, haunted by his memories—keeping himself under control, and quieting his mind the only way he knows how…killing and watching the life leave his victims eyes. When you cross his path on a morning hunt, something new (something forgotten) starts to move inside of him, leading both of you on a path to confront the unspeakable past.

COMMENTS: Hi guys, I'm kinda back. I hope you all enjoy part eight! We still have a long way to go. Please reblog and help support me and my work! I love and appreciate you all very much ♡ ˎˊ˗

[ ML — DEITY MASTERLIST AND TAGLIST ]

TAGLIST: @kkamismom12 / @r0tt1n / @heluvschibi / @feckinbecky / @missystay / @seungluvr / @babrieeee / @curiouscocoabean / @feelikecinderella / @carpioassists / @soulsbbg / @san-axa0 / @vixensss / @keiizzx / @xyliskz / @reignessance / @velvetmoonlght / @ghostedgameplays

It’s not as bad as you thought it would be. It doesn’t look quite like how it sounded when it hit the floor, but each side of the music box separated from itself on impact, and now it’s a sad shell of its former self. You can fix it, though—you have to fix it.

You lower yourself for a closer look, making sure to avoid the sparkling glass covering so much of the floor. The glimmer of something else catches your eye, so you move carefully, pinch the silver chain between your fingers, and pull it from its tiny pool of water. “Can I wear this until it’s in one piece again?”

An odd request, maybe, but Seungmin doesn’t bat an eye at it. “You wanna wear St. Michael? Are you feeling guilty again, or…” he pulls his shirt over his head, sweat soaked from his workout—disposing of the body. “Feeling the snares of the devil?”

“Should I be feeling him?” That wasn’t a yes, but you clasp it around your neck anyway.

He smiles at you and shrugs.

“You’re no devil”

“No? You’re just blinded by me. Biased.”

“True. What did you do to me?”

His face falls in confusion. “Nothing. I mean…I always wondered if—“

“Minnie, I’m joking.” But he still has that worried look in his eyes. It’s been a while since you’ve seen it. “What have you always wondered?”

Now he seems reluctant to finish. Seungmin grabs his clean towel and shorts and looks toward the door, but he turns to you again. “…if I did do something to you that night. It’s silly.”

“When I passed out?”

“When you died,” he corrects you. “You were dead, no pulse. One minute and…forty seconds.”

“You never told me that”

“I never told you how long you were gone?”

“And that I had no pulse”

He takes a few steps toward you. “No, I guess I didn’t. I thought you knew.”

Seungmin touches the medallion on your chest, examines it, avoids looking directly at you. He’s thinking, you assume, about whatever it is he believes happened when you died for one minute and forty seconds. His hands are warm on your skin, and you’re already craving his touch again, but his mind seems to be somewhere else entirely.

“I was wearing it that night. Usually, I take it off when I go to bed, but I fell asleep reading.”

“What night?” You take his hand in yours, but he slips away and starts toward the door. “Seungmin, what night?” The air starts to feel thick with tension. Seungmin’s mind still turns so quickly sometimes, but not this quickly.

“Can we talk after I shower?”

/ / /

The living room fills with the scent of almond blossom tea and Seungmin’s steamy, citrusy shower. He spent a long time in there—washing away his kill, thinking of a way to tell you his story, wondering if it’s time. It has to be. Seungmin knows you’ve earned every truth he has to give. It’s the least he can do. He stares absently at the floor with his mug cupped in both hands. “The night my mom and stepdad died.”

Your mind goes every which way, wondering what direction his story is going to go in. “They both died the same night?”

“Yes. I should have told you this when you opened up to me months ago.”

“No, not if you weren’t ready”

It feels so complicated in his head, but telling you everything takes no more than ten minutes, even through the tears that eventually start falling. And in that ten minutes, you end up on the couch, Seungmin curled up in your arms for comfort. Still, he left out a few details, like her voice starting right there in the greenhouse; his trip into the woods hoping to be taken by the thing that lived there—still lives there.

He melts into you even more. “That’s worse than I could have ever imagined, my poor sweet Minnie.”

The ground in Uljin is sour, except for where his mother rests, and everything about your visit there starts to make sense. The shed is the rotting corpse of his stepfather, and its arms still reach far enough to hurt Seungmin. The garden he and his mother created; the greenhouse, and every single everlasting flower that it holds seems to keep him here, reaching a little further and giving you who you have in your arms.

“I’m so glad you made it through.”

“Did I? Sometimes it feels like I died back there…” he stops and sniffles, wipes his cheeks, “in the woods.”

“You didn’t. You’re here with me, like you’re supposed to be.”

Seungmin is exhausted, physically and mentally. His eyes close, and his body relaxes as he puts his arms around you again.

“The woods where he left you. The same ones from your dream last night?”

He mumbles a yes.

“The ones we drove through…I didn’t like those woods”

“There’s nothing to like about them”

“They felt haunted”

“That’s one way of describing it. They were like that long before I put him the ground, and now it’s worse. The dirt he’s decaying in hates me just as much as he did.”

“He’s still there? Is she?”

A long blank stare, followed by a slow nod. “Yes.” Seungmin looks at you, still so full of secrets, but he’s running out of energy to keep going.

“What did the rest of your family think happened?”

“That he killed her, and disappeared”

Now it’s your turn to close your eyes and relax in his embrace. Just learning about his past is tiring, and overwhelming. How could a nine year old come out of that? Seungmin did, but it damaged him so severely he can no longer live a normal life.

“I was sick before any of that happened, though,” he starts again. “Umma knew I was seeing and hearings, but she didn’t know what to do, except give me this…” He touches the necklace again, presses his lips to your chest, “and pray, read to me, surround me with flowers. But I was so much worse after he left me in the woods. And he didn't believe I needed a doctor."

For the first time in a long time, you’re lost for words. There’s not much you can say right now to bring him the comfort he needs, but your touch might help. You kiss his forehead, and rub his back until he lifts his head to look at you. He just stares, searching your face for something; waiting for more, maybe. Does he still think the things he tells you will scare you off?

“It’s genetic, isn’t it?” He asks.

“Yeah, I think so”

“So…the chances of one of them being sick—”

You knead your fingers into his neck and squeeze before he finishes. If only you could make this one worry go away. “They’ll be okay. We’ll worry about that when…if…the time comes.”

“Are you?”

“Am I what?”

“You’ve been seeing things, too. Has that ever happened before?”

“No”

/ / /

Why are you seeing things? The thought hadn’t occurred to you until now, because everything from the last several months has been some level of strange. The dreams felt like dreams, even after you discovered they were echoes of Seungmin’s nightmares, and even how easy and beautiful it felt to fall for him didn’t seem unusual. The truth is, that’s never happened to you...nobody has ever been as close to you as he is. The connection is preternatural. If there were ever time to use that word, this is it. “No, I’ve never even seen a ghost. Seeing that dog under the bed is the first time something like that has happened.”

“So, maybe it was really there”

You shake your head. “If so, it had to have slipped into a tear in the fabric of space…a wormhole. Or it’s just magic.”

“Like Bulgae”

“Bulgae?”

“Mm, they’re just mythical creatures, a fairytale I guess. The fire dogs that chase…oh,” he rubs his chin with his knuckles, and his eyes wonder around the room. They land on the window, where the quarter moon stares in. “They chase the sun and the moon. Do you think there’s a tear in space under my bed?”

“I wouldn’t be surprised, Minnie”

“Are you up for a long drive tomorrow?”

Seungmin doesn’t like going home—you assume, and he doesn’t pretend it’s easy. He does it as if it’s a necessary pilgrimage to a partially sacred place. He has to fight through the oppressive evil to get to the little bit of warmth still existing there, and he’s succeeded every time so far. But this is only your second time accompanying him.

“You can sleep if you’re comfortable,” his fingers run down your arm and wrap around your wrist. “I can see how tired you are.”

Yesterday was exhausting, and your dreams kept you up most of the night. The dog returned, just the white one, but it didn’t try to hurt you. It didn’t even look at you. You watched it from the balcony as it struggled to reach what you assume was some representation of the moon; a glowing blue sphere in the middle of the city, far too low to be any celestial body. Upon waking up, you decided it had been the weirdest dream you’ve had in a long list of weird dreams.

“Okay.” You don’t fight him, or the overwhelming urge to close your burning eyes. “I’ll try.”

When you wake, the car is parked, and you’re alone. Seungmin kept the engine running, the music low, and the doors locked, and when he returns several minutes later, you’re already sound asleep again. He gets in as quietly and gently as possible with the bag full of snacks he’s hoping you’ll like, but for now, he’s happy to see you sleeping so soundly. And that’s what he does for a little while longer—he watches you, listens to you breathing, and wonders if you’re in the middle of a dream. He hopes not. Or if you are, it’s a good one. Neither of you seem to have much luck with that.

You groan and shift, and Seungmin can’t help but reach out for you. He swipes his fingertips across your forehead, tucks some hair behind your ear.

“Where are we?”

“Almost there”

“Did you get me something?” Seungmin digs around in the bag and holds it out for you. “Oh a triangle, thank you!”

“Mhm, if you eat two you can have your cookies”

“Did you get yourself something besides coffee?”

“I’m not very hungry”

When he eats, he eats well, but sometimes he goes far too long without. “You didn’t eat before we left.” You don’t push it, though. The trip might be the reason for his lack of appetite, so the sooner you start heading home, the better. “Do you wanna bite? Just a little one.” Seungmin watches you unwrap it, and when you hold it up to his lips, he opens up and takes a much bigger bite than you expect. “Good boy."

He stops chewing, and a slow smile starts to appear. “Hm?”

“Oh…uhm”

He covers his mouth as he finishes chewing and swallowing, but as soon as it’s down, he laughs softly behind his hand. “Say it again.” Seungmin leans forward and takes another bite.

“Good…” you kiss the top of his head, and he laughs despite his mouthful of tuna and rice, “good boy.”

“Thank you,” he washes it down with his coffee and points to the remaining piece, “your turn, both of them.“

“Can I have a sip of your coffee?”

Seungmin smiles again, pretends to think…he never actually says no to you. “Yeah, one little sip.”

The road you’re on isn’t one you recognize, but the trees and hills are very much what you remember from your December trip. It’s so much different now—it’s brighter, and more colorful. The blue sky makes everything look bigger, and much less claustrophobic, and you hope seeing it like this is a little easier on him. Flowers are blooming all over the sides of the roads, and at the edge of the woods you pass; in gardens and open fields. His backyard will at least be dry and warm this time around. The forest is no different. It’s oppressive and dark. Eerily quiet, except for a few bugs chirping in the darkest corners. You roll down the window and smell the air, and you decide it might be the only nice thing about it.

“What was that?” You turn the volume down on the radio and listen again.

“I didn’t hear anything”

You wonder if he did, and he’s just pretending he didn’t. “That…” An unmistakable rumble, like the echo of a car engine in the distance, but not quite. It cuts out abruptly, and that’s the last time you hear it. When you look at him again, his face is blank, and maybe a little bit pale, so you drop it.

When you finally, truly arrive, you’re not sure if the car will actually make it up the slight incline to park next to the house. It’s not dry at all. The surrounding area is still covered in a wet muddy mess, almost as bad as it was in December…but somehow, Seungmin makes it.

“You okay?”

“Huh…oh yeah, I’m good. Just not wearing the right shoes for this.”

“Most of the area stays pretty nasty until the snowmelt dries, and then it gets muddy again as soon as the rainy season starts.”

His door pops open, “stay there.” He rounds the car and opens yours, “okay,” and kneels down.

“Minnie, I can get a little muddy”

“I know, but you don’t have to. C’mon.”

All you can picture in your head is him slipping, falling, and you going down with him, but then you remember how easily he managed this ground last time. Seungmin isn’t clumsy on his feet, only in his head, and only sometimes. He reaches back for you and wiggles his fingers. “Okay, okay. Brace yourself.”

“For what?” He grunts when you put all of your weight on his back, but he still stands without a problem. “You should be heavier than this by now, right?”

“I’ve gained eight pounds since I moved in with you”

“Do you gain less with girls, and more with boys?”

“I’m not sure, remind me to google it”

“That seems like a silly question when I say it out loud”

“It’s not. Is that what we’re having?”

“Hm?”

Maybe it was a slip-up, or maybe he’s dying to finally tell you. “Girls? Is that what we’re having?”

“I thought you didn’t wanna know”

Part of you does, especially now that you’ve started working on the nursery—just another step toward it becoming your new reality. “Do you think the tech was right about it?”

“She seemed confident, and she’s been looking at ultrasound babies for a long time.” Seungmin kneels again, and you put your feet down on the concrete walkway outside the greenhouse.

“Have you been thinking about names?”

His little smile answers for you, even though he shakes his head. “Not much…not really.”

Warm air and the heady scent of a dozen different flowers hits you when the door swings open. Your eyes water from it, but you blink it away as he grabs your hand and pulls you in with him.

“Tell me one you like”

“A name I like…hm, there is one, but it might be too…me”

“That doesn’t sound like a bad thing”

“Ha-neul”

“Haneul…it sounds nice when you say it. What does it mean?”

“Sky”

“Oh, that’s perfect. I like it, too.”

He stares at the flowers, and his grip on your fingers tightens. “I can’t think of another name to compliment it, though. So I’m not sure.”

“Maybe it’s too early for this part”

Seungmin pulls you with him toward the purple flowers, and when you’re close enough to be filled with their scent and only their scent, he lowers himself and kneels in the much dryer soil. When you don’t immediately follow, he squeezes and tugs a little harder. It still feels like an intrusion into his most personal moments, but he wants you here, so you lower yourself next to him and hold tight to his arm.

Being here now is different—she’s there, right below you, beneath the purple bushes whose roots certainly reach as deeply as she’s buried. Seungmin’s mother exists in the flowers in a way you never thought possible, and that’s why he keeps them close. This is you finally meeting her, you think.

“Umma?”

He waits, and you’re perfectly still and quiet as the moments pass. And then a few more moments. It’s getting late, so you begin to hear the growing sound of insects crying in their hiding spots, but nothing else. Eventually, too much time and silence passes, so you squeeze his hand and look at him. “Seungmin?” You can see the stain of a tear on his cheek. He’s biting down hard on his lip to keep some composure, but it isn’t working very well. “What is it?”

“She’s not answering”

“Try again…say something else”

He nods and takes a deep breath. “Umma, nae mal deullyeoyo? Please say something.” The sound of his shaking voice hurts. You know there’s still no reply, even before he releases you and spreads his palms out over the ground—what you don’t know is if this is the first time she’s been silent, and it’s not a good time to ask. If it is, you can only assume it’s because of his Haldol. Seungmin hasn’t missed a dose in over a month. It’s taken hold, and the sound of his mother’s voice is no longer there. This might not be the best side effect. “Where did you go?” He leans forward until his forehead touches the cold ground, and your hand slides beneath his shirt at the same time. It’s warm, and it’s soft, and as much as he wants to scream, your touch helps keep him calm. A slow, deep breath, and his lungs fill with the scent of earth and heliotrope. She’s still here, he thinks. “I know you’re still here.”

Your hand slides across his back until he rises again, but he’s dizzy, and a sour, nauseous feeling starts to rise in his stomach and throat. He turns and crawls away just in time. Seungmin vomits, coughs, vomits again…or tries to. Nothing comes up, but his body keeps telling him to try.

“She is, Min. Just like last time, and the time before that.”

He isn’t sure what you’re saying, but he hears your voice despite the muffled ringing in his ears. It helps. Seungmin isn’t sure he could handle the silence alone. “I’m sorry.” A fistful of dirt comes with him as he stands, and he tosses it aimlessly towards the mess. “You heard it in the woods, right? That sound.”

“The rumble?”

“Yeah…the rumble”

“What was it?”

“Something umma told me was just in my head”

If it’s in yours, too, that still doesn’t mean it’s real. Seungmin is giving you more than just his dreams.

“Maybe she’ll talk to you”

“Me? No. Why would she talk to me?”

Seungmin shrugs, but he has his reasons. “Just hoping, I guess.” He wonders if your strange connection exists in this way, even if he can no longer hear her. You’re seeing things, and you’re dreaming like him…so maybe he hasn’t completely lost his connection to his mother.

You turn away and carefully lower yourself to the ground, but you’re not prepared for this—you have enough trouble talking to tangible people in front of you. Nothing happens right away. Just the sound of the bugs, and the wind picking up and pushing against the glass panels. The sun is finally setting behind the trees, and the orange glow coming in looks like fire. “Susie, are you there? Your son wants to speak to you.” All you can hear is the sound of Seungmin sniffling and pacing behind you. “I would like to talk to you, too” The wind pushes harder against the greenhouse, and the lonely wind chime catches it and starts to sing. It slows down, and you look away for a moment to watch the tops of the trees stop swaying in the distance. “Is that you?”

“Did she…?” Seungmin asks, but a moment later, another gust hits, and a glass panel cracks from the pressure. “Oh no.” He heads for it to inspect the damage, leaving you alone with the flowers as you try with everything you have to hear something. “It might be okay,” he says, mostly to himself as his finger runs over the superficial crack. The greenhouse has survived the elements for a very long time, and one little crack is not going to bring it down.

“She loves you very much”

His arm slides around your waist, and his hand spreads out across your stomach. There’s nothing there to see yet, even with twins—but you’re much softer where his fingers knead and squeeze. “You heard her?”

Did you? You don’t remember hearing anything except the wind—no voice in your ear, or in your head, just the overwhelming desire to tell him. “I’m not sure, but…she does, Minnie. She loves you, all of you, the good and the bad.”

“I was excited to tell her about the twins”

It hadn’t occurred to you that part of this trip was to tell her the big news…that he’s going to be a father. During the first trip here, he was quietly joyous about simply not being alone, and that also just occurred to you—he was still brand new to you. His happiness is still so lost in him sometimes, buried under too much grief and damage. “Tell her...” You grab and pull him so he’s kneeling next to you, but you’re not sure if he’ll actually try to speak again. If he thinks it, that’ll be good enough.

Umma? I’m sorry I can’t hear you.

He waits again, just in case there’s an answer this time.

I’m going to be a father. Well, I guess I already am, but…they might be born in September, just like me. We’re having—oh, I can’t say it out loud. It’s still a secret.

“No, you can tell us. I’m ready.”

“Are you sure?” Seungmin whispers, and he smiles when you nod at him. You weren’t sure you’d get another one out of him for a while.

We’re having boys…identical boys, umma. I’ll be the father dad didn’t get the chance to be. I’ll make you both proud.

The hanok, for as long as it’s been sitting here uninhabited (“fifteen years,” Seungmin tells you, “it was like everyone but me just forgot it existed.”), is still in surprisingly good shape. The outside is somewhat neglected, but it’s solid, and the inside…you weren’t expecting to see the inside, but Seungmin had the key in his never-ending collection of keys...the inside is nice, but dusty and a little damp, and it almost looks like someone still lives here. There are clean dishes sitting on the counter, like they were almost put away in the cupboard above them. The faded curtain is pulled open just enough to see down the pathway that leads to the greenhouse, and…two pairs of shoes sit neatly by the door you walked through. A pair of sneakers, and next to them, a pair of rain boots.

“Seungmin, are those…were those yours?”

He looks to the spot you’re staring at, and nods. “Yes, they were mine.”

“Can I see your bedroom?”

The afternoon sun is pouring in through his window, and even with the curtains closed, it filters in and casts a warm glow over everything. His yo, rolled up and covered; a desk still holding a stack of books; the bookshelf, and a chest you can only imagine is full of whatever this little boy liked to play with. Now you’re hit with another realization, even though you knew…he really was just a baby when this nightmare happened to him. Seungmin sat at this desk and practiced his spelling and multiplying, and in the same breath, he had to kill his stepfather to save his own life.

“I saw this in one of my dreams”

“What did you see?”

“In the park, when I first told you I was dreaming about you…one of them was this, I think. Your window, the bedroom.” Seungmin passes by and pulls at the curtains, and the light is almost too bright as your eyes adjust. “We were laying in your bed, and the sun was bright just like this, but it must have been summer. There were flowers outside, yellow and purple flowers. That was a nice dream. You kissed me before I woke up.”

“I did?” He leans in quickly and places a kiss on your lips, “like that?” He tries again when you shake your head, this time right between your eyes. “There?”

“Nope, try again”

“Hm, how about…” a soft one against your temple, but he huffs when you shake your head again. “Where does dream you want a kiss?” His eyes scan every part of you as he thinks, and eventually, he grins and goes for your neck.

“Up a little…perfect.” In your head, you’re doing your best to remember every detail of that dream, but you can’t. It’s long gone. “What was that? Thunder?”

The sun is still shining, but on closer inspection he can see the dark clouds in the distance, slowly moving above the trees. “I think so.” Seungmin forgot how oppressive the view is from here…the darkness of the forest in front of him, even in the daylight, makes him uncomfortable. “I’ll check the heat, and the water. We can spend the night if…” the rain starts almost immediately. “If that’s okay.”

“Here? I don’t mind, but only if you’re comfortable staying.”

“Yeah, it’s fine. Actually, since I met you, up until now has been the longest I’ve gone without visiting, or cleaning up. It’s hard, and as many bad memories as this place holds…it’s still all I have of her.”

“Then yeah, let’s make ourselves comfortable here and get a good nights sleep.”

Once the heat is on and moving through the floors, the house comes back to life in a whole new way—it’s warm, and it’s cozy. This, plus the few good memories…it’s easy to see why he hasn’t completely abandoned the house. Seungmin begins to hum as he walks around lighting candles, and once he’s satisfied with his placement, he turns the lights low and joins you on the doubled up mattress in the middle of the floor. “Did you have enough to eat?”

“Mhm”

“Do you need more water?”

“No, I’m good. I’m comfortable.”

He touches your neck and pulls you close for a kiss. “Warm enough?”

More of the dream comes rushing back to you. “Perfect. I’m with you, I couldn’t be better.”

“Yeah…so you still like me?”

The face you make sends him into a fit of quiet laughter, and it might be the biggest smile you’ve seen him crack since he saw the twins two weeks ago. Seungmin’s never given you a good full-body laugh. It’s a beautiful sound, and an unusual one, because it’s so new to you. You can help but laugh with him. “Yeah, I think I still like you.”

“Good. If I think too much about us only knowing each other for four months, I start to wonder—“

“Don’t wonder”

“Don’t?”

“Trust me when I say I’ve found the one. So…boys?”

He smiles just as wide again, and the sparkle in his eyes tells you everything he wants to say. “Boys.” He nods and whispers. “I hope it makes it more real for you, and you’ll be happy with so many boys running around.”

“It does, and I am. I can’t wait for you to meet them.”

It’s too warm eventually, and when you start to kick off the fluffy blanket, you know something is missing. Your leg slides across the mattress, and your blurry eyes pop open to his empty pillow. “Minnie?” You sit up and realize just how warm the house is—you rub a hand across your chest and wipe away the sweat starting to gather there. Maybe he got up to turn the heat down, or crack a window. “Seungmin?” You know you’ll have to get up at some point, so you just get it over with now. Maybe he’s in the bathroom. Why is your heart starting to race? Nothing is happening, nothing is wrong, so stop panicking. Your feet hit the floor, and the panic gets a little bit worse. Nausea works its way through you.

The bathroom is empty, and his bedroom is, too. The only other bedroom, his mother’s, is also empty, but you weren’t expecting him to be in there. There’s nowhere else except outside, and it’s still raining. The car is there, you can see it from the kitchen window, and when you finally head for the door, you can see it hasn’t been pulled shut far enough to lock. He is outside. You open the door and look out into the dark fog. Why would he come out at this hour?

“Seungmin! Dammit, you better answer me!”

Just the patter of rain on the roof and the windows. Nothing else. You almost go for your shoes, but putting them on seems pointless. All you’ll do is ruin them, and walking around in wet, muddy shoes as you search for him sounds much less appealing than doing it in your bare feet. The first step onto the grass is unpleasant, but after a few more, it’s fine, and you walk as quickly as you can toward the greenhouse.

hey

“Minnie…Min, was that you?”

You heard it, even through the rain, but he’s not in there. Seungmin is definitely not in there, and you don’t want to get any closer than absolutely necessary. The shed looks even worse than it did last time, and just opening the door feels like it could be disastrous. A few loose nails and pieces of rotting wood in the right spots; the whole thing comes crashing down around you. But maybe that would bring Seungmin out from wherever he’s hiding. “You in there, Min?” You whisper and close the gap, reach for the chain, and pull. “Why would you be?” It creaks so painfully loud, and the inside is dark and empty, just like you expected. “Greenhouse…greenhouse.” The door slams shut as you try not to break out into a run, and every hair on your body stands up.

The greenhouse is a welcome reprieve. It’s warm inside, but just like the shed, it appears to be empty. “Fuck…Seungmin! Where are you?” You’re wet, and starting to shiver, and the mud has covered you up to your ankles already. “You’re gonna be mad at me for coming out here…but, but…”

Sweetie

You spin around, looking for whoever is clearly speaking to you. “Who’s there? Seungmin why are you doing this?”

my little boy isn’t here

“Susie?”

he doesn’t know what he does when he comes here, and he’s doing it again…my poor sweet puppy

“Where is he? Where did he go?”

the forest

“He went into the woods?” The nausea worsens when you think about him lying in a clearing somewhere, lost in the dark. “Why would he do that?”

There’s no more voice. Susie goes quiet. “Okay, I have to find him.”

How, you have no idea, but before you even attempt to walk further than the greenhouse, you run back to the house and throw open every closet. Most of them are still full of their things, so finding a raincoat is easy, and finding his mother’s rain boots is a relief after the mess you made all the way up to your knees. You clean up before slipping into them, and they fit well enough. The raincoat is a little small, but not enough to keep you from wearing it. The only light you can find is an oil lamp under the kitchen sink, not a single flashlight in any drawer…and your phone certainly won’t do any good. But it works—the oil is good, and there’s plenty of wick soaking in it, so it lights easily. “This might be my only luck tonight." The rain slows a little, and half of the sky clears up enough to see the moon and stars. It’s enough to orient yourself before they disappear again behind the trees, and a quick look at the compass on your phone is the last thing you do before silence falls around you. The trees hold up the rain, and the dense fog seems to take in everything else.

“Minnie!” Your voice falls flat—no echo. A twist of the knob raises the wick just a little, and the light intensifies.

For a while, you count your steps. Walking in a straight line is impossible, but you follow what looks like a trail the best you can, because you don’t want to think about getting lost in here without him. At one hundred steps, you stop and call for him again.

Fifty more, you call again. Everything is still eerily quiet, and if anything was walking around near you (“fuck, don’t think about that…don’t”), you’d know it. Twigs would snap, and the muddy forest floor would give almost anything away.

Fifty more steps. You set the lamp down and cup your hands around your mouth, and this time an echo moves through the trees. The rumble answers back. “No…not you.” What the hell was that? “Seungmin…please.” You force yourself further in; twenty…thirty…forty steps, and then you stop and rest on a stump. These woods are so much like the ones you walked through when you were a kid—thick, and dark, and quiet. But Mothman never got you, and whatever is living in this forest won’t get you, either. You hope. A sudden fear moves through you, though, and calling for Seungmin again seems like an invitation for something else.

I’ll just look for a while…no calling

Whatever lives here would be much deeper anyway…right? I’ve barely walked a quarter of a mile in

but I’ve been screaming for the last fifteen minutes, and if Seungmin’s in here…why IS he in here? Is he looking for something? Is he sleepwalking? No, he’s never done that before

What if this place is more than haunted, and you’re slowly slipping into some other place? What if there’s no going back after this? You’re pushed back in time again, to the dirty living room carpet and your bare feet sinking in. Dad is right behind you in his armchair, sound asleep, so you managed to swipe the tv remote from him.

You're moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas…

“There’s a signpost up a head…” you whisper to yourself in a strange attempt to self-soothe. "Your next stop—" You had a nightmare after watching that episode, and you remember it well. “God, maybe I've been dead this whole time.” The warmth of the medallion on your neck is suddenly very apparent, and you rub St. Michael between your fingers.

who are you?

“No, I’m not hearing anything else. Shut the fuck up.”

we don’t recognize you

“Seungmin!” You’re up and walking as fast as you can on the uneven ground, but the mud and heavy lamp are weighing you down. And then you see him. Or you see something. It moves across the trees in the shadow of your light. If it is him, he would have heard you and answered. “Hello?” Your voice shakes.

hello?

“Who’s there?”

He appears from behind a tree, and stares at you, silent.

“Seungmin…oh my god.” He doesn’t move when you run to him, and when you drop the lamp and throw your arms around him, he’s warm and still. “Minnie, baby, are you okay?” No answer, but his arms wrap around your shoulders and pull you close. “What are you doing out here? I was so scared.”

“Don’t be scared”

“Can we please go back?”

“Back?”

It takes some effort to free yourself, but you pull away and look at him. The lamplight is casting a strange shadow on his face, and now you’re back in your nightmare at the Jasmine Hotel. “Am I dreaming. Are we having a nightmare?”

“No, I’m awake”

“Can we go back?”

He takes your hand when you hold it out for him, and then he leads the way.

Seungmin is covered in mud. He’s drenched, and pale from the cold rain, but he doesn’t seem to be shivering the way that you are. His hand is warm, like he just woke up from a good sleep, and when he turns his head to look at you, he smiles.

“Why did you—“

“You must be cold, Tokki. I’ll run you a warm bath when we get back, and make you some tea.”

The walk back is quick, and he finds his way out easily. The rain passed while you searched for him, and now the sky is clear, so the light of the moon guides you the rest of the way.

Seungmin is quiet in the kitchen, but you can hear him filling the kettle and lighting the stove, the clink of mugs, and his soft voice as he starts to sing. You wash up quickly, drain the muddy bath water and start to refill it as his voice gets closer and closer.

“You’re supposed to be relaxing in there,” he says it with a lighthearted sternness.

“I feel better. It’s your turn.”

He doesn’t fight you. Seungmin hands you your tea and starts to pull off his damp clothes. You want to question him again, but you’re not sure when to do it—after he gets comfortable in the tub, or when you get him back into bed? He might fall right to sleep once his head hits the pillow.

“What kind of tea?”

His shirt is tossed and hits the floor with a wet thud, followed by his sweatpants, and then his boxers. “Raspberry leaf, with a little bit of sugar. I know it can be a ittle bitter."

So he's in there; he remembered the tea he brought, and he remembered that you coudn't stomach it without some sugar. “Did you do that to yourself?” Two long scratches along his collarbone stick out against his pale skin. Another three run across his shoulder blades.

“You don’t have to stay with me. Get back into bed and get warm.” He lowers himself into the hot water, and lets himself sink in up to his chin.

“No…we need to talk, Seungmin”

“What do we need to talk about?”

He looks at you, and there’s nothing about him that seems defiant. The memory of what just happened might already be fading away. “Min, do you remember waking up and leaving the house? I woke up and you were gone, and I couldn’t find you anywhere. I was scared.”

“I’m sorry, sweetie, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Sweetie. It was his mother that told you where he went. “What were you doing?”

He shakes his head, “I’m not sure.”

“You’ve done it before.”

“I have? How do you know?”

Pushing him for answers won’t help, because now you’re remembering the whispers in the greenhouse. He doesn’t know what he does when he comes here, and he’s doing it again…my poor sweet puppy. His mother spoke to you very clearly. Seungmin wanders into the woods every time he spends the night here, and he doesn’t remember doing it. He enters a dissociative fugue, and it’s continuing even with the medication. “Have you been taking your Haldol?”

“I have, I promise”

You know he has, because you’re usually with him when he does. And because her voice are gone. “I don’t know why I asked that, I know you are.”

“You shouldn’t have been out there in the rain. You could’ve gotten hurt, or lost. It’s my job to take care of you, and I failed.” Tears start to well in his eyes, and you don’t think you can stand to see him cry right now.

“But I’m okay, and you’re okay. We’re gonna get back into bed and sleep all morning, and then we’re going home.”

“Home?”

“Home”

/ / /

Another heavy storm passes through, and it keeps you up for a little while longer, but when you wake around noon, Seungmin is fast asleep next to you. Whatever he did when he disappeared into the woods exhausted him, because he never sleeps in this late. Maybe it’s this place, though, and not just his strange wandering. You need to know what happened in there, and what was going on in his head, but you don’t expect him to remember much.

“Mmm…morning,” he mumbles when you pull the blanket over his bare shoulder. The heat turned itself off while you slept, but you’re too cold to get up and fix it. Seungmin shivers a little, and you know it’s because he was too tired to find something to wear after his bath. “Cold.”

“I know, it’s cold in here…c’mere. "He moves closer and lets you wrap yourself around him. “How are you feeling?”

Seungmin groans and sighs.

“You can sleep more if you need to, or I’ll make some coffee”

“No, I’m up”

“Okay…do you remember last night, Min?”

Seungmin nods, but you have your doubts. Before the two of you even got into bed the first time, you talked. As a matter of fact, you and Seungmin talked more than usual. Not hearing his mother’s voice bothered him more than he lead you to believe at the time, and you think he may have been considering stopping his medication. He didn’t say that, but you could feel it.

“I remember, yeah. We had dinner, and we talked…we talked about names more.”

That part of the baby name conversation actually slipped your mind, but you remember now.

“Ha-neul,” he says again, because it’s still on his list. “And…”

“And something with Hwa or Hae, yeah?”

“Hae? Ha-neul and Hae…sung?”

The unexpected third part of the conversation might be the last one concerning names, at least for a while, because the way he’s looking at you is a very loud please, say yes to these. It almost makes you want to drop the questioning and return to it later.

“We’ll put those in the yes column”

But you can’t.

“Good. We can still think about it, but they do sound nice together.”

Seungmin seems happy; genuinely happy, despite how strange yesterday really was, and you hate having to ruin it. “You woke up last night…early this morning, I guess. Very early.”

“I did?”

“Yes. I woke up around two and you weren’t in bed. You weren’t anywhere in the house, or the greenhouse. Seungmin, I couldn’t find you…anywhere.”

He looks at you like you’re joking, but his face falls when he realizes you’re being very serious. “I don’t understand.” He sits up and looks down at himself, seems to realize he’s naked under the blankets, and wraps them tight around himself. “Was I sleepwalking?”

“I’m not sure, but I guess it’s possible”

“I don’t think I’ve ever done that before”

He doesn’t know what he does when he comes here, and he’s doing it again…my poor sweet puppy

“How often did you spend the night here? Before me.”

“Maybe… maybe once every month or two. Where was I?”

There is no memory of anything behind his eyes. They soften as they search yours for the answer you’re trying to give to him, and you can see the puppy coming out. “In the woods. I found you about a quarter of a mile in, soaking wet, covered in mud.”

“No, why would I do that? I don’t like going in there when it’s daytime, and last night was…”

"I know"

“Why would I do that?” He says it again, more to himself this time. “Why?” Seungmin rocks a little and takes a deep breath. “Are you sure it wasn’t a dream?”

Without another word, you rise from the bed and head for the bathroom.

“Where are you going?”

You understand his hesitancy in believing you, or believing it wasn’t just another strange dream. The whole thing being a nightmare isn’t far fetched at all, for either of you, but his muddy clothes are still on the bathroom floor. You hear him following closely behind.

“You took a bath, and we talked a little.” You show him in the clothes, and he examines them silently. “You didn’t remember anything last night, either. But you seemed fine…you made me tea, and…take that off, look at your neck.”

He pulls it down and examines himself in the mirror. “Did I do that in my sleep?”

“And your back”

The blanket drops to the floor. His scratches aren’t as red and angry as they were a few hours ago, but they broke open and bled a little in his sleep. “Looks like claw marks”

“Claw marks, from what?” From whatever made him go there in the first place. “I think you backed into a tree, Minnie…that’s all you were wearing out there.” You nod to his pile of clothes, and then occurs to you to check his t-shirt. The back of it is dirty, but that’s all—no rips, no blood. “Maybe.”

/ / /

The rain clouds are returning again, and the overcast sky is making your bad mood so much worse. You weren’t expecting the trip to go well, but this was beyond anything you could have imagined. Now you can’t help but stare off into the woods as Seungmin starts the ritual of collecting his heliotrope.

“Are you still here?” You whisper. Part of you is wondering if some of last night was a dream, or a hallucination, because the voices you heard are beginning to come back to you. All of them. “Please say something to him.” When you turn, he’s holding his arms tight against his chest, head down, as if he’s protecting himself from something. “What’s the matter, Min?”

“Nothing”

At any moment, he could break—that’s what he looks like standing there…like the last leaf preparing to fall off the tree, or a glass of water halfway off the edge of a table. One little gust of wind could topple him. So why are you hesitating to go to him? “Do you need help with anything?” You take a few slow steps toward him, but he turns away ever so slightly.

“N-no, no. I’m fine.” He bends and picks up the shears at his feet. “I’m okay.”

You catch his gaze for just a moment. His face is pale and tired, and you wish he would have slept longer. You almost want to stay another night, just not here, so he doesn’t have to drive. “Seungmin, talk to—“ You grab his elbow and make him look at you. “��me.”

“I’m sorry”

All you see is red, and you can smell it on him. “What did you do? Let me see.” The blood is coming from somewhere on his arm, but you can’t tell where. All you know is that it’s all over him, soaking the front of his shirt, starting to drip from his elbow.

“I cut too deep”

That explains his lifeless face. Everything around you is covered in dirt, so you reach into his back pocket. The embroidered handkerchief is there, like it always is. “Why’d you hurt yourself, love?” He’s had enough trauma for one trip.

“I didn’t mean to…make such a mess...ah," he winces when you push it down against the cut.

The thought of him running those shears along his skin makes you tense up. Whether he meant to cut or not, something in him wanted to put the blade on his arm in the first place. “It’s okay, baby, I’ll take care of it.” You hold as tightly as you can. "But we need to get back to the house.”

It’s start to rain again, of course, and some of the blood washes away with it, but it hasn’t stopped by the time you get to the kitchen and examine it again. Blood pools in the cleanly cut skin and slowly drips down his forearm. Seungmin watches intently, and very calmly. “I think it slowed down,” he whispers.

“Not enough. You need stitched up.”

“I’m sorry I did that in front of you.”

“In this case, I’m glad you did it in front of me so I can’t at least take care of it. Is there a first aid kit somewhere in the house?”

“Uhm, yes, I think it’s still in that top drawer,” he nods toward the kitchen sink. “But it’s old.”

Better than nothing. You wrap him back up with a clean towel, rifle through a drawer you remember from last night, and you find it all the way in the back. It’s full of the most basic things, but it’ll do for now. You clean it…Seungmin holds in a cry and stomps his feet for that, and tears run freely down his cheeks after the burning finally stops. Two rolls of gauze later, and you wonder how long the blood will take to soak through completely. “I should take you to an emergency room before we go home.”

“I don’t want to do that”

“So we’ll go after we get home. It’s one or the other, Seungmin, because you need stitches.”

“Fine, we’ll get it over with here”

Seungmin’s mood starts to match yours, but his injury pulled you up a little—concern quickly replaced the confusion and anger, but now he’s confused and angry. You know it was intentional, but you decide to believe he didn’t mean to cut as deeply as he did, and by the time you get to a hospital, the gauze is already turning pink.

“Thank you for driving”

“Thank you for navigating”

“You did very well. I remember being here once, when I was…five or six.” He looks around the waiting room, and everything is so old, you assume it looked the same twenty years ago. “I broke a finger.” Seungmin holds up the ring finger on his right hand.

“Yeah, it looks a little crooked. Never noticed that before.”

“Kim...Kim Seungmin?”

A tall man holding a clipboard stands in the open doorway, and he looks directly at him in the crowded room. “You can follow me…both of you, if you’d like.”

Seungmin stands, hand still gripping yours. “Oh, he said you can come.”

The hallway leading to the partitioned rooms is just as aged. The colors are drab and depressing, and the smell of disinfectant almost chokes you.

“Have a seat, and I’ll take a look at this”

“Are you the doctor?” Seungmin asks, and he looks around nervously, but the man shakes his head. “Do you speak English?”

“No, I’m a nurse. And yes, I can speak English…why? Oh…” he looks at you and smiles awkwardly. And he switches easily from Korean to English. “I’m sorry, you don’t speak Korean?”

You shake your head and try not to feel like a burden.

Seungmin stretches his arm out as the nurse pulls his gloves on and slowly unwraps the bandage. “I just like her to know what’s going on.”

“Of course. Does this hurt?” He sees Seungmin wince as he gets closer to the wound. “I guess so. May I ask what happened?”

“Gardening accident. Very sharp tools.”

One last loop, and the bloody bandage is finally off of him. “Working in the greenhouse?” The cut still oozes blood, but much slower than before.

“Huh?”

“You don’t recognize me, do you?”

Seungmin looks at you, as if you have the answer for him, and then back to the nurse. “I thought you looked liked him, but it seemed impossible. You came back, Heecheol?”

The nurse nods, and his smile grows because his friend recognizes him. “You haven’t changed at all, Seungmin. Same face, same sad puppy eyes.”

You have to smile at that. Seungmin was a puppy to the people around him—at least the ones he cared about, and who cared for him in return. Before speaking again, Heecheol examines the cut with gentle hands, and then excuses himself for a moment to get a suture kit.

“You’re stitching it?”

“Yes. Unless you prefer a doctor, but they usually ask me to do them anyway.”

“When did you move back to Uljin?”

He re-gloves and opens the package before cleaning from Seungmin’s elbow to the middle of his forearm. “About a year ago. Living in the states was fine, but I think I needed a change.”

“Where did you live?” You chime in, and he gives you the same warm smile.

“Greensboro, and then Charlotte for a while”

“I can hear some accent in your English”

“I can hear yours, too…I’m guessing you weren’t far from there”

You nod and smile.

“Do you two live here in Uljin? Are you married? Oh, uhm, I’m just assuming you’re a couple. Sorry.” He focuses again, grabs the syringe full of lidocaine, and holds tight to Seungmin’s forearm. “This will pinch for a moment, but…after that it’ll feel much better.”

Seungmin nods and watches the needle slide in and out at each corner of his cut. The pinch doesn’t seem to bother him. “It’s fine. Not married, and we were just visiting. We live in Seoul.”

“I’m sorry to interrupt, Min. Is…Heecheol,” you have trouble with this pronunciation, but he doesn’t seem to mind, “is he the friend you told me about? The color one?”

“Yes, this is him”

“The color one?”

“What’s your favorite color?” Seungmin says, and he actually smiles. He’s smiling at him the way he does for you when he’s feeling good. “Is yours still green?”

“You remember that?”

“I remember everything. Good and bad.”

“Right, I’m so sorry about your mother, Seungmin. I didn’t even know you lost her until my mom told me last year. She moved back here after my dad died, and now I’m taking care of her. She doesn’t have much time left…”

“She's sick?”

Heecheol nods solemnly as he checks the feeling of Seungmin’s arm. “Yes, end stage heart failure.”

“I’m sorry, Cheoli”

“I’ve had time to prepare and come to terms with it, which a lot of people don’t get. I am grateful for that.”

“Do you think she would still remember me?”

“My mom loved you, and she hated pulling us apart. She would, and she would love seeing you again—I’m sorry, I’ll be right back. I need different sutures.”

Seungmin turns to you when he disappears behind the curtain, and he looks like he’s ready to burst. His eyes are wide and watery, and his cheeks are starting to turn pink.

“What are the odds we’d run into him?” You run your thumb over the scar beneath his eye and wait for a tear to fall, but nothing comes. "Even in a small town?"

“It’s strange. Today has been very strange.”

After a few moments of silence, he returns, and he looks at both of you as if he’s figuring out how the two of you found each other. And how the two of you found him. “All ready, sorry.”

“It’s okay, we’re in no rush”

His mood has changed significantly, and now he has a very big reason to stick around a little longer. This place is not good for him, but you think his friend might be enough to outweigh the bad. The three of you are silent as he very carefully closes the wound, and he’s good at it. Heecheol is focused on his task, but every few seconds, his eyes move up to look at Seungmin—they look him over as if he could disappear at any moment and he doesn’t want to forget a single detail. Just as he’s finishing up, he does it again, and this time, Seungmin looks as well.

“I know you’re numb, but does it feel okay? Any pulling?”

“No, it’s good. It’s perfect.”

“I’m going to put a second skin bandage on it, over some gauze, and you won’t even have to think about it. Just go easy for a few days…no sliders…no fastballs.”

“I haven’t thrown a baseball in ten years”

It feels like you’re intruding. You don’t need to be here listening to them remember the past, even though you want to know more about the good parts of his childhood.

“How long will you be in town?”

“Well, we planned on heading home after I got stitched up”

There’s some hesitancy in his voice, and you know Seungmin is changing his mind about going home so quickly. You have no intention of pulling them apart again because the string between them is already reconnecting. It's obvious that the same force that ties you to him ties the two of them together as well.

“Maybe I’ll catch you next time,” he says, and as much as he tries to sound like he’s fine with it, he doesn’t.

“We can stay a little longer…if that’s okay with you”

Seungmin looks at you with his big wet eyes, as if you would ever say no to him. “Of course we can."

“Shift change is in…” Heecheol looks at his watch, “an hour. If you don’t mind waiting for me.”

/ / /

The weather finally changes. The rain stops, and the sun comes out, so Seungmin paces just outside the entrance to the hospital as you wait for him to speak. There’s a smile twitching on his lips, and you assume he’s thinking about his friend, and their past.

“How old were you when he moved?”

He stops and takes a seat next to you on the bench, and you’re relieved when he grabs your hand and squeezes. This was the first time since being with him that something truly got his attention more than you, and you have to admit that you’re a little jealous.

“I was eight…it was the summer before everything happened. We never even had the chance to say goodbye to each other.”

“I’m glad you found him again”

The doors slide open, and Heecheol walks out, freshly showered and out of his scrubs. He’s handsome; a sharp, fox-like face, and a sweet smile. The bounce in his step might not have been there a few hours ago, but it's there now, and it adds to his natural charm.

“Thank you for being so patient with me”

He makes sure to look at both of you as he speaks, but his eyes return to Seungmin and stay there. Had this one stopped and talked to you on the street, he would have caught you, too.

“Of course. Should we pay your mother a visit? Is she expecting us?”

“I called her and let her know. You’ve already made her day.”

Seungmin is nervous, and his legs are heavy as he walks up to the second floor. Memories are flooding back to him—racing up the four flights of stairs, and always losing because Heecheol’s longer legs carried him further. He has the stamina, but was never very fast. Luckily his arm was made for pitching. Was. Now, for the first time since he was fourteen, he’s wondering if he can still do it.

“She doesn’t get out much since the building has no elevator…just on good days.”

Good days that are few and far between, Seungmin guesses. Her heart won’t pump her blood the way it should anymore, and she’s slowly suffocating because of it.

“But we have a nice view of the water, and spring is coming early”

The front door clicks and creaks as he pushes it open, and the inside looks almost the same as he remembers it. After fifteen years and a move across the world, Seungmin expected some change, but he’s relieved that there’s so little.

“Umma, we’re here,” he calls out softly, and then looks to Seungmin. “Do you want some tea, or coffee?”

“No, I’m okay”

He heads for the kitchen anyway, and whatever he’s doing seems like routine. Electric kettle filled and on, mug from the cupboard, loose leaf tea scooped into a silk bag.

“Look at you, you’ve gotten so tall”

Her weak voice floats to him, and more memories unlock. “Eomoni!” It feels like no time has passed—he feels like a kid again, and he feels safe. Everything was good when he was here with Cheoli and his parents. There was no stepfather around, watching every movement, and judging every word.

“Seungmin-ah, you’ve grown into such a handsome young man.” She takes a few more steps toward the kitchen, but decides to take a seat on the couch instead. Seungmin can hear her labored breathing.

“Umma, where is your oxygen?”

“It’s giving me a headache”

Heecheol disappears into the bedroom, and he returns with a small pack slung over his shoulder, and a nasal cannula in hand. “You should have told me this was almost empty.”

“I have plenty, now you…come over here so I can see you better.” Everything about her, from her voice, to her face, to her informal mannerisms, is the same. She’s older than Seungmin’s mother would be now, but not by much. It’s the illness that’s aged her. “Yes, come sit with me.” His hand is squeezed between hers, and they’re cold against his warm skin. “Cheoli missed you so much, did he tell you that?”

“Umma…”

“What?” She turns, and Heecheol adjusts the cannula to her nose. “He tried finding you when he moved back last year, but he had no luck. And here you are!”

“I wasn’t sure if you had moved or not, but when I found out about…what happened, I figured you moved away.” Heecheol says.

“I live in Seoul, eomeonim. I’ve been there for five years”

“In Seoul? All by yourself?”

“With his girlfriend, umma”

“A girlfriend?” She says it as if it’s a shock, and her hands squeeze even tighter.

“Umma! Please…”

“Hush. How long have you two been together?”

Saying it is going to sound silly, especially considering the seriousness of everything between you. “Four months.”

“Four months?” Heecheol stops what he’s doing to look at Seungmin.

“Yes. It feels like we’ve known each other much longer, though.”

He nods, “that’s good…I’m glad you found someone, Min.

“Do you…?” He shakes his head before Seungmin finishes asking the question. His friend is handsome, but Heecheol has always been very particular about things, and even more introverted than him. He probably hasn’t changed much. “It’s a strange feeling to have someone when you’ve been alone for so long.”

“Yeah, I’m sure”

“What do you do in Seoul?” His mother interrupts, changes the subject. “For work?”

“I own the apartment building my father…my real father, left to me. So I guess…not much.”

“But you do well for yourself”

“I do, I’m very lucky in that sense”

Heecheol heads back to the kitchen to finish the tea he started, and Seungmin sits quietly, his hand still squeezed between hers.

“Soo-ji would be proud to see what a kind young man you’ve grown into”

“I’m not sure about that. I haven’t done—“

“You had to grow up without her. You made it through difficult times and you’re here, and you’re making someone else very happy, I assume. She would be very proud.”

Seungmin thinks about you sitting outside in the car, probably sound asleep, and he smiles. You weren’t very happy with his actions today, but he knows you are happy.

“You’re making us happy right now, Seungmin—Cheoli and I…Seungmin?”

“Yes, are you okay?”

Her voice falls to a whisper. “He needs you. As much as he tries to smile, and work hard, and care for his dying mother…he’s struggling. He’s alone, and I can only do so much for him. There has to be a bigger reason for you walking into that hospital and finding him there.”

No part of Seungmin wants to abandon his friend, but he has a hard time envisioning himself as someone else’s divine providence. Even with you.

“He wasn’t even supposed to be at work today. Cheoli was just covering for another nurse.”

“Here, umma…be careful, it’s hot.” Heecheol places it on the table in front of her, and then his eyes turn to Seungmin. “Are you sure you don’t want anything?”

“I’m sure”

“Oh, I guess we should get going. We’re going for dinner, and I’ll bring you something good back, okay?”

“Yes, good…don’t rush. You two have a lot of catching up to do.”

Heecheol is quiet on the way back to the car, but Seungmin can’t help but see the loneliness in his face now, and in his posture. “How have you been? He stops. They both do, and they face one another at the bottom of the staircase. “Are you alright?”

“Am I alright? Yeah, yeah I’m okay. I can’t really complain.”

“You can if you want, you can complain to me”

“No complaints right now,” he smiles.

/ / /

Seungmin is surprisingly calm in the busy restaurant, but it’s obvious that Heecheol is distracted by something in his own head.

“I didn’t expect so many tourists this early,” Seungmin says, and he starts to scratch at the bandage on his arm.

You take his hand in yours and pull it closer to you. “Don’t scratch at it, you’ll make it sore.”

“I’d rather it be sore then itchy”

Heecheol doesn’t chime in. He’s staring at your clasped hands, eyes wide and glazed over until you loosen your grip and let go. Maybe he’s not a fan of PDA, which you don’t blame him for. You’re not a fan, either. “Are you and Seungmin the same age?”

“I’m actually a year older, so we didn’t get to have classes together”

A tiny smile tugs at Seungmin’s lips. “That’s why we spent almost all of our free time with each other.”

“So how did you meet?”

“Little league, we got put on the same team”

“Seungmin smiles even bigger now. “The Bears, I think I still have the team photo somewhere at home…” He turns to you, “probably in one of those boxes.”

“I’ll find it”

“Please find it. I lost so many little things moving around. So how did you two meet?”

You decide to let Seungmin take this question, and you hope he can simplify it and somehow make it sound normal.

“Uhm, she walked by me outside of the convenience store by my building, and pretended to be lost…so I helped her home.”

“That’s very cute”

“There was a little bit of chasing, but we figured it out eventually. You said you’re single, right?”

“I am, yeah…I never really dated much. I’ve tried, but it’s hard.”

“You can visit us in Seoul. Maybe you’d feel more comfortable there, being yourself. It’s easier.”

“Easier? How do you know?”

“I’ve spent a lot of time getting a feel for people all over the city. And I’ve taken plenty of them home.” Seungmin cocks his head to the side, and Heecheol’s eyes move between the two of you. “Men, and women…yes. And you would probably do better than I ever have.”

This is the most carefree and comfortable you’ve ever seen Seungmin in someone else’s company. It took what felt like a very long time for him to soften up for you, but this was almost immediate. The moment he realized who he was taking to in that hospital, he started to become lighter; a completely different person—one that didn’t wander into the woods in the dark, or feel the unbearable need to slice his arm open from the turmoil rolling around inside of him.

“Is it that obvious? I guess it is." Heecheol laughs.

“What, that you prefer men? I've known that since I was eight, and we went to that birthday party at the ice rink. Do you remember?”

“Oh my god…uhm, Junsoo, our catcher who couldn’t catch very well. He was turning nine.”

“Right, his older brother was there, and you stared at him the whole time”

“Mhm. Jinhwan. He was twelve, and he was already the best hitter for the senior league. And the best forward on the hockey team. And—”

Seungmin‘s hand jumps up to cover his mouth, and he laughs with his whole body. A sweet laugh, though, the kind that Heecheol can laugh along with and not feel embarrassed. “Yeah, I knew…I knew you like I knew myself.”

“And you were always a mystery to everyone else, but I understood why. We made a good pair.”

“You still do. I don’t hear him laugh like that very often.”

Heecheol turns to you and smiles. “I’m sorry, I hope you don’t feel left out of the conversation.”

“Not at all. I like listening to the two of you talk, and it’s nice to hear him laugh.”

“Still a little mysterious, Mo?”

He rubs at his bandage again. “Not on purpose.”

/ / /

As hard as you try, staying awake on the drive home is nearly impossible, but you shake yourself awake every time you feel yourself slipping. Seungmin has to make this drive, and you know he’s even more exhausted. Finding his friend did perk him up, though, and the music playing on the radio is more upbeat and louder than you’re used to.

“Don’t stay up for me, relax”

“I’m alright. We have a while to go still, so promise me you’ll pull over if you get sleepy.”

“I promise”

He gives you a sweet, sleepy smile, and you’re almost positive you’ll end up in a hotel somewhere tonight. “I like him.”

“Do you? Seeing him again…it felt like no time passed at all, and like nothing bad ever happened.”

“Finding each other again is something special. He loves you, Minnie.”

“We were kind of isolated to each other, aside from the team…but even then, it was just us all the time.”

He didn’t see the way Heecheol looked at him, and maybe it was just disbelief...maybe he couldn’t believe his own eyes—his best friend, back, right in front of him. But you don’t really believe that. Heecheol loves Seungmin the way that you love him; in a way you can’t really describe in words. You can feel it.

His mind goes back to eomeonim and her concern for her son; his loneliness, and believing there’s a reason why they found each other again. But love is a strong word for someone who was there for three years, and then left for the next fifteen. As soon as that thought crosses his mind, he looks at you, nodding off again, and remembers your four months together. Things couldn’t get much more serious than they are now. But he needs you…he loves you? Seungmin isn’t sure he has much more to give after you and two children.

“How are you feeling?”

“My arm feels fine, it’s just a little sore”

“Not that…everything else”

“You mean last night?”

“Yes, last night”

Seungmin thinks. He doesn’t know how to answer this, because he still doesn’t remember a single thing between going to bed around midnight, and then waking up at noon. The scratches on his back are itchy now that he’s thinking of them, but otherwise, there’s nothing. Just what you witnessed. “I don’t remember any of it, so…it’s like it didn’t happen.”

“I’m glad you don’t remember, but I wish I knew why you did it”

“Did you see anything else while you were looking for me?”

See? No. Heard? His mother’s voice, whatever is in the woods, and maybe even his stepfather’s voice outside the shed. That hadn’t occurred to you until right this moment. The hey that you thought was Seungmin, it definitely wasn’t. “I didn’t see anything.”

He looks at you, waiting for more.

“I heard things, but…I was tired, and scared”

“I’m sorry. I’m grateful you cared enough to look for me, but I’m sorry you had to do that.”

“Of course I cared enough, I’d do it again if I had to”

“That’s the last time we spend the night there”

The alarm keeps ringing. Why is there an alarm on in the first place? You somehow form that thought and that question in your sleepy, foggy head. The room is still so dark, though, so it can’t be morning yet. Where is he?

“Where are you?” You’re not even sure it comes out of your mouth. “Seungmin!”

“Hey…I’m right here. I’m sorry.”

The bed moves as he crawls up and grabs his phone, turns off the sound, and the room is finally silent. You turn onto your back and pull yourself up against the pillows, but your head throbs. Opening your eyes feels like it might be a mistake.

“I’m sorry, I forgot to shut off the alarm from last week. Do you need anything? Does your head feel any better?”

“A little…I didn’t mean to yell, I’m sorry. I think I was dreaming.”

“It’s okay”

“My head is better than it was.” His half smile is what you see when you open your eyes, and then his dark hair sweeping across his eyebrows. “Your hair is getting so long.” You reach out and brush some of it away from his forehead, and then your eyes fall to your stomach.

"What time is it?” You set your hand on it and breathe deep, and Seungmin sets his hand on top of yours. Then you switch.

“It’s almost ten, you slept for a while. Oh, I felt something!”

“Did you?”

“Yes, a little kick I think”

“Good, I’m sure they know you’re here”

His smile grows until you see all of his teeth “yeah?” The other hand finds a new spot and waits, but he pouts a little when nothing happens. You don’t feel any kicks or flutters, and he doesn’t either. “It’ll be nice to see them again.”

“What day is it, Min?”

“Wow, you must have slept very well, that’s good. It’s Monday.”

“Monday?”

“Monday the 19th.” He waits as you think. “Your fancy ultrasound is tomorrow. We get to see them in more detail, right?”

“How did I forget?”

Seungmin moves his hand again and waits, and when nothing happens, he’s back up and digging through his dresser for a change of clothes. “They’re wearing you out, but…that’s why I’m here.”

Thanks to him and his attentiveness, getting to week twenty-two was easier than you thought it would be, despite your exhaustion. You’re not sure if this nurturing side of him was always there waiting to come out, or if he’s just been working overtime to be the dad he desperately needed as a child. Whatever it is, he’s doing well.

Seungmin has been okay for the last two months—no hallucinations, no urges, and no truly bad days. He still gets quiet and sulks, but not lately. A new tenant moved in a week ago, and it’s kept him busy until today. The distraction has been good for him, and watching him focus on work was a nice change.

“What are you smirking at?”

“Hm?” His phone is lighting up a smile on his face. It falls a little, but comes back along with a blush on his cheeks as he gets himself under the blankets. “Just talking.”

“Talking?”

“Heecheol sent a message earlier, and I forgot to reply until now”

“Good, I wasn’t sure if you were keeping in touch. How is he?”

“Tired, he said, but he has to work all night so he can’t get any sleep. I was thinking of asking him if he wanted to visit, but only if you feel okay.”

“He can visit whenever he likes, and you two can do whatever you want. Baseball game…night club? Maybe both. You deserve a nice night out.”

“I’ll ask him. Do you think he’d want to stay for a while?”

The idea is nice. “A while…like a weekend? Or a week?” But the more time spent with Seungmin, the more likely it is that Heecheol will see the other side of him, or be around for one of his bad days. “If he wants to. Maybe we can start with a day or two, so we don’t scare him off.”

Seungmin studies you for a moment, and then nods. “Yeah, I guess so."

"I think he would love to spend as much time as possible with you, though"

"I’ve been alright since the whole disappearing into the woods thing, right?”

“You have. You’ve been present, and happy.”

“I’m trying really hard”

There’s a choke in his voice as he says it, and you go back over everything you just said to him in your mind. “You are, I know…and you’re the reason why I’m doing so well right now.” He moves closer until your arms open for him. “You’ve been there for me every single day and night.”

“Have I? Have I been good enough?”

Seungmin still has a hard time believing it, you know that, even as you hold onto him and squeeze him tight.

[chronicowboy]

When Connor finally comes over to the loft, Buck can only think thank god.

Its not that he doesn't like Kameron, he actually really enjoys her company. She's funny and bubbly and enjoys learning whatever new facts he'd found on Wikipedia that day and she has killer commentary for shitty reality TV.

Its not even the whole pregnant thing. He laughs when she balances her plate on her belly and he always braves her adventures in craving combinations even if it ends with him gagging and swearing never to eat tuna or jelly ever again - sidenote: chips and whipped cream is a new go-to snack.

He's just fed up of feeling like a perpetual roommate in his own apartment yet again. And his couch fucking sucks.

Also, like, its great that Connor and Kameron are starting to talk things through.

But his couch sucks.

So, when Connor comes over looking sheepish and apologetic, Buck welcomes him in with a smile. Kameron... not so much.

"I'm... gonna head upstairs," Buck mumbles into the awkward silence of the kitchen, "and get into my running gear." He nods once before fleeing up to his bedroom.

Buck dives for his headphones when their hushed voices start hissing at each other, connecting them up to his phone with fast hands and blasting his workout playlist as loud as he can bear. He strips efficiently, pulling on a pair of shorts and a tank top in the bathroom when the voices get louder. Then he's rushing downstairs and grabbing his sneakers, wondering if it would be wise to run all the way to Eddie's house.

His hand is an inch away from the doorknob when Connor stops him. With a silent sigh, Buck pops a headphone out and turns to face the scene in front of him.

Kameron is leaning on the kitchen island, palms flat against the marble, fingers curled under her hands, head hung low. Connor is wide-eyed and pleading, his grip on Buck's wrist tight and unyielding as he keeps him fixed to his spot.

"Buck, tell me you could raise a kid that wasn't yours," he begs, something frantic to his voice. Buck thinks he recognises the fear in Connor's eyes, thinks it looks a lot like Chimney haunting the loft weeks after Hen and Eddie had returned home. Not a fear of covid or DNA, but a fear of fatherhood cloaked in a thousand defences. "Tell me that it wouldn't bug you every single day."

Buck blinks. He opens his mouth, but something thick and cloying crawls up his throat and stops the words from coming out.

He sees flashes. Too-long curls and crutches and glasses. Nights spent huddled on a couch in front of the same shitty kid's film that Buck would happily watch a hundred times over, days spent hunched over worksheets at the dining table, mornings heavy with sleep but light with joy. Trips to the zoo, visits to the aquarium, tours of the observatory. Nightmares and tears and a run away on his doorstep. Sodden clothes and clasped hands and such visceral fear that Buck had thought he was dying. Saying no to one last game, mixing veggies into the sauce, putting his foot down on screen time. A bag full of pharmacy supplies and the tiles of the bathroom floor cold under him and growing pains Buck feels in his old bones.

"It wouldn't," Buck croaks, it feels a lot like a confession. "My captain has been more of a dad to me than my father ever was." Buck shakes his head, shrugs. "Its not about DNA, Connor, its about love."

"But." Connor's chest heaves with panicked breaths. "So, you'd do it? You'd raise another man's kid?"

Buck recognises the fear again, but this time its his own. Connor is feeling the same fear that had Buck staggering through the ravaged streets of Los Angeles. The same fear that had Buck withdrawing, trying to chase Eddie and Christopher out of the door with a list of all his sins. The same fear that had Buck reminding Eddie of Christopher's biological family. The fear Buck feels every time he has to say goodbye to Chris.

Its then that Buck's phone buzzes. He glances down at the new notification. A picture of Eddie scowling down at a cookbook captioned uh oh - backup needed ASAP.

"Oh," Buck breathes down at the screen.

All the flashes suddenly comes together, one beautiful mosaic of parental devotion.

Buck remembers the way Chimney's dad's words had lodged something sharp and painful into his chest, remembers wondering why. He remembers a quiet conversation on opposite sides of a hospital bed, remembers wondering why me. He remembers scribbling hearts together for an assignment, remembers its his turn to save you. He remembers wondering if he could be a donor not dad and Eddie asking if he knew any of Christopher's secrets.

"Buck?" Connor prompts.

"I'd do it," Buck says, only looking up from his phone when it fades to black. When he says it, it sounds a lot like you know I wouldn't. "Because... even though that kid might not be my blood, he'd still be mine," here, his voice cracks right down the middle. "I'm sorry, I have to go."

"What? Buck!"

"Sorry." Buck yanks the door open and looks over his shoulder with an apologetic shrug. "My kid needs me."

[lemoncrushh]

Running on Empty

Summary: An unfortunate incident at the gym

Warnings: None, just a PSA - Never workout on an empty stomach.

Word Count: 1185

A/N: Harry x reader AU. Originally an OC but has been edited. From my 2017 collection.

Harry was a new guy at your gym. You hadn't been going as regularly as you should have, but once he started coming a few weeks ago, you made it a point to keep up with your workouts. He was gorgeous, to say the least. Not your typical buff, gym type guy. But really attractive with a killer smile.

So far your exchange had merely been a few hellos and nods of the head. But you were determined to get his attention. You can assure yourself however, what ended up happening was not your intent.

You'd skipped lunch that day, having only a bagel for breakfast and a handful of jellybeans that you'd grabbed from your co-worker's desk when your boss had asked if you could stay to help set up the conference room for an important meeting. You could have (and should have) easily gotten a sandwich at the deli before heading to the gym, but you only had an hour, and you knew Harry would most likely already be there. It was pathetic how you'd memorized his schedule, this man that you barely knew.

He was already at the weight bench when you left the locker room. Walking past him, you could see the beads of sweat forming on his upper lip and arms, his t-shirt nearly soaked through. He groaned low as he lifted the bar, his muscles flexing. Sighing deeply, but low enough you hoped that he didn't hear you, you took your usual place at the treadmill, popping your earbuds in and setting your water bottle in its cubby. Choosing one of your workout playlists, you began warming up at a steady walking pace. As the songs progressed into faster tempos, so did your walking and soon you was at a jogging pace, your heart rate up.

Lost in your music, you didn't notice Harry had gotten up from the bench until he was beside you, wiping his face with a towel, your eyes connecting.

"Hello," he grinned. Good grief, he had a great smile.

"Hi."

You watched as he took a stance on the treadmill next to yours. He said something else then that you couldn't quite make out with your music blaring, so you pulled out an earbud.

"Sorry?"

"I said, I've seen you here before a few times."

"Oh. Yeah." You didn't know what else to say. You'd rehearsed several scenarios in your head, but at the moment you were breathing too hard to make actual conversation.

"I'm Harry," he said.

"Y/N," you replied, though you was sure it sounded more like a breathy mess.

"Good to meet you," he smiled again, making your heart race more than it already was.

Grabbing your water bottle, you took a long drink, emptying almost half of it. The next song that came on was clocked at an even faster bpm, so you sped up the speed of the treadmill. Now at a running pace, you felt the sweat drip down the back of your neck and between your breasts. Your breaths were hard but steady as you made sure you could handle it. There had been days when running was a breeze, and you'd feel exhilarated from pushing yourself to the limit. But because you hadn't been keeping up with your usual routine, and probably because you hadn't eaten, you could already feel your body resisting. You felt like your heart was beating out of your chest. You slowed the speed just slightly as you felt yourself getting light-headed.

"Hey, you okay?" you heard to your left.

You turned your head to Harry to looked concerned. Unable to speak, you nodded.

"You might wanna slow down," he gestured to the treadmill console.

You nodded again and did as he suggested. When you found a slower, jogging pace, you started to feel a little better, your breathing even once again. You held on to the bar this time, something you didn't normally do in order to regain the feeling in your legs which had seemed to go numb. You weren't sure how you'd even managed to run at all. It was as though you had phantom limbs that moved at their own will.

Finally, your playlist came full circle, a U2 song finishing out what you knew was the end of your workout. You walked for the remaining time, guzzling the last of your water.

Stepping off the treadmill, you immediately felt woozy. Blinking hard, careful not to get sweat in your eyes, you reached for your towel and wiped them. That was when two things seemed to happen both simultaneously and in slow motion. You saw Harry step off his treadmill and walk towards you, and everything went black.

"Y/N!"

You could hear a voice calling your name, and it sounded familiar but far away. You were probably dreaming.

"Y/N!" he called again.

Ouch, you thought. That light was too bright.

"C'mon, love, open your eyes."

His honey-like voice soothed you and you blinked, allowing the irritating light to shine in your eyes. That was when you saw his face, hovering over you like a guardian angel. His chest fell as he let out a sigh of relief.

"She's coming to," he relayed to someone behind him.

"Um..." you swallowed hard, your throat suddenly dry. "What happened?"

"You fainted, straight into my arms."

You groaned, lifting your hand to your head which you realized was throbbing.

"You know," he added with a smirk, "if you wanted my attention, you didn't have to go to such extremes."

"Oh God," you mumbled. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. I just wanna make sure you're okay."

You stared at him for a moment before someone else appeared above your head and knelt down beside you.

"Miss, do you need a doctor?" the second man asked.

"No," you replied. "I think I just passed out. I'll be fine."

"Can you sit up?"

You realized then that Harry still had his arms around you. You nodded and allowed him to help you sit as you felt the blood rush to your head.

"Oh," you groaned again.

The other man handed you a bottle of what looked to be a sports drink. You took it from him and drank a large gulp, feeling it immediately run through your veins.

"You sure you don't need a doctor or an ambulance?"

You looked at him and shook your head. "No. It's fine."

The man nodded and patted your back. "Sit for as long as you need." Then he turned to Harry. "Don't let her make any sudden moves until she's ready."

"Yes, sir."

When the man walked away, Harry took your hand.

"You sure you're okay?"

"Not really, but I will be."

"Did you eat anything today?"

You let out a breath. "Very little."

"Are you diabetic?"

"No. Just overworked I suppose."

Harry shut his eyes and shook his head. "When you're ready, I'll help you stand," he offered. "Then I'm taking you to lunch."

You smiled gently. "You are?"

"Well...it wasn't how I was planning to ask you out. But it'll do."

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[goingmerryfics]

hi hi hello its me again :D another request if that's alright! could you do a chubby s/o with Kid and Killer? thank you for all your beautiful writing I enjoy it a lot!

Chubby S/O w/ Kid & Killer 

Content: Gender neutral reader, very light nsfw elements

Notes* Welcome back :P glad to have you! I was trying to be really careful with the wording on this because for some it can be a sensitive subject. Heed the contents anyway.

Kid

Pinches your cheeks ALL THE TIME

Which ones? You decide

But for real, this guy grabs your ass all the time

He doesn't care that you're bigger, but he speaks so bluntly that he will probably say something insensitive. He doesn't mean it at all though- it would be some offhand comment that was worded wrong and later confuses him as to why you're upset

He won't apologize- it's Kid, him apologizing is unheard of -but he will do something special to try and make it up to you, like make you a small gift

He would let you use his clothes. He's a tall guy who's built bigger too, so if they fit you well enough then he'd like to see you in them

If you wanted to lose weight, he would be the best workout partner. He'll yell at you the whole time, but in a motivational way!

“Don't pussy out! Keep going! One more push-up!”

‘One more’ was 15 minutes ago

He pushes you to your limits in a way that somehow helps you two develop a bond with each other 

Gives you shit if you skip leg day

If that's not your priority, he would probably suggest it once, call you weak for passing, then never bring it up again 

Won't admit that he loves cuddling with you. You're extra soft, so he likes to lie his head on your chest or stomach

Killer

He loves you exactly the way you are.

Never insensitive towards you, and sticks up for you against any comments that people might make in ignorance, whether on his crew or not

He loves to hug you, hold your hands, and touch you in any sort of way so he can feel your warmth

He'll pick you up if you let him

If you wanted to lose weight he would make sure to start with your meals- making sure they're delicious, fresh as possible, and much healthier than the usual garbage that the crew eats for meals. He'd even eat the same thing with you so you don't feel left out

He'd also be a great workout partner, but he's on a completely different level than Kid. He'll encourage you less than scream at you, giving you praise and compliments the whole time

But if you weren't interested then that's ok too. He likes you no  matter what

Personal headcanon is that he prefers chubby partners

He's always trying to be hyper aware of the kinds of words he uses not because he feels the need to tip-toe around you, but because he'd feel awful if he hurt your feelings by accident. He'd throw himself off the ship if he made you frown even a little bit

He'd be so quick to come to your side if you were feeling insecure, happy to give you all sorts of kind words to make you feel better

[stardewstardropthoughts]

SDV Bachelors guilty pleasures/kinks/fetishes in the bedroom? 🫦🥵💖💫

MDNI these aren’t the longest but I hope you like them! I had fun writing them lol

Harvey:

Listen, I’m not saying explicitly that he wants to play doctor in that light but I’m not denying it either

Obviously he keeps his work very professional but in his downtime for play? Naughty man

Also big on erotic massages both giving and receiving

Has so many different scented oils for any occasion or mood

Also likes to cum inside you, but understands if you don’t want that do to risk of pregnancy or other issues

But like if your afab he’s definitely got a little bit of a lactation fetish I think, mostly just how big and heavy your breasts get

But also very into cock and ball worship, giving and receivin

Sam:

This man is a sub leaning switch, loves to have his partner take control

Will wear a collar if you ask him too, please ask him too he’s to shy to bring it up himself

Likes to be cuffed and overstimulated

Major praise kink, please tell him he’s your good boy

Loves seeing you in lingerie, lace is his favourite texture to feel against his bare thighs well you bounce on his cock

Pull his hair, gently though. Nothing to rough for him

Elliott:

Wax play is an absolute yes for this man

Along with food play, whipped cream and chocolate sauce? Yes please

Big on giving you praise and telling you how well you take him

Loves to leave little hickeys on your neck and chest

Also loves to hold hands while making love

Big into cock warming, tried it once when you were needy while he was writing and has never looked back, one of his favourite intimate activities

Also loves make out sessions, just lazy mornings in bed with you, tangled in each others arms, hands wondering each others body’s while your mouths mould together

Sebastian:

Hear me out here okay?

He’s a soft dom, likes to be in control but doesn’t want to inflict much pain

Has a knife kink but has one of those prop knifes that’s really dull so that he doesn’t actually risk cutting you

Will overstimulate you to the point of tears because he loves to see them running down your pretty face

Loves to praise you on how well your doing and how your being such a good boy/girl/pet for him

Low key has a daddy kink I think

Also has handcuffs and leather restraints for you

Shane:

This man is absolutely a dom and I cannot be convinced otherwise

Big sir kink, loves to be in a position of authority over you

Wants you to wear a collar, it’s more of a subtle necklace with a lock on the back that he holds the key to

Loves marking you up, bites, hickeys, bruises. He absolutely wants to see the aftermath of a session on you

Loves seeing you in lingerie for him, specially anything light blue

Loves to praise and degrade you equally

Has safe words in place and if your mouth is too full to speak you are to tap his thigh three times for stop, twice for slow down and once for all good when he checks in on you

Spanking is his favourite punishment

Overstimulation is a very close second, wants your brain to be mush by the time he’s done with you

Alex:

Look, I know this might disappoint some but I personally think he’s pretty vanilla, which is totally fine!

Will rail you on his gym bench though

Also loves the way you look in workout gear

Loves to praise you and also likes being told how well he’s doing and how good he makes you feel

Will venture into erotic massages because they’re both good for you and killer stimulation

Loves when you swallow after going down on him, almost immediately back at half mast when you show him you’ve swallowed the whole load

[joelswritingmistress]

Camp Crystal Lake: Chapter 11

Requested by @yellowjacketsbuzzbuzz

Joel Miller x f!reader (romance/horror)

Setting: Camp Crystal Lake

The reader is taking on the position of a camp counselor at the infamous Camp Crystal Lake. While she begins to enjoy her summer, even crushing on the camp director Joel, a killer lurks in the woods unbeknownst to anyone.

I couldn't remain in the cabin with all the commotion going on outside. I already heard Joel addressing the situation as I got myself together and hurried out the door, reaching for a paint brush as a prop for good measure.

Ralph stood there in the same clothes I'd seen him in the other day, gripping the rusted handles of his bicycle as he glared at Joel.

“I told the others!” The old man said, “They didn't believe me. Don't you care about your people here?” Ralph’s glare doubled down, “You're doomed! You're all doomed!”

“You can't keep doing this,” Joel said to him. “I'm going to have to call the sheriff the next time-”

“There won't be a next time!” He motioned with a crooked, boney finger. “Not if you stay!”

“Alright.” Joel removed the cell phone from his pocket and began to dial, though Ralph quickly hopped on his bike and struggled to take off into the woods - again.

“What's with this guy?” I grumbled, looking at Joel first and then to Sandra who leaned an arm on Jeff’s shoulder.

“He's a real prophet of doom,” Jeff said, smirking as he shook his head.

“And the cops hauled us in.” Sandra rolled her eyes. “But not that creep.”

“I'll call up the local department and let them know he's been hanging around,” Joel assured all of us. He wiggled his iPhone and nodded, “Let's get back to work.”

My eyes met Joel's and we shared a subtle smile before returning to the cabin. When I went to dive back in, his lips met mine but he pulled back and rested his hands on my waist. A lazy grin lingered on his face.

“Why don't we agree to meet back here after dinner tonight?” Joel suggested, “We can have a little privacy. I should probably be keeping a closer eye on things, anyway.”

“That's fair.” I nodded closed my eyes when he pressed his lips against mine again. I giggled when he playfully kissed down my neck and then back to my lips.

“I'm giving people one last night on the town, so maybe we can have a few drinks, I'll come back and make my rounds and then we could agree to ten o'clock?”

“I'll be here at 9:45.”

Joel chuckled and pecked my lips again. “Alright. I'm going to chase down Ralph and call it in, then I'll be back to help you paint.”

When three o'clock rolled around I felt the muscles aching in my sunburned arms. “No wonder Mr. Myagi had the Karate Kid painting all the time,” I said when I met up with Sandra down by the lake. We both stripped off our t-shirts, sporting bathing suits beneath them. “That was an arm workout.”

Sandra tossed her shirt and did some arm circles, shrugging her shoulders each time she did. “You're telling me. I'm wiped out.” She hurried onto the dock ahead of me and began a tiptoed jog down the length of it before diving into the cool water.

I trailed my new friend, following her lead as I, too, didn't waste time jumping into the lake. Mine was more of a pencil dive.

“I'm joining you!” I heard Teri call out when I resurfaced. She ditched her shorts and tank top on the beach sand to reveal her tye-dye bikini and came sprinting down the dock. Her petite body managed a giant cannon ball, causing Sandra and I to laugh when water splashed over us.

“Perfect 10!” Sandra shouted.

The boys joined in soon after, leaving Vicki and Mark at the edge of the lake where she doused his broad shoulders with lake water. He didn't seem to mind as their flirtation continued.

My heart ached for Joel, even though I was having plenty of fun splashing around in the water with everyone. When he finally appeared through the trees, a heat rose in my chest.

“Coming in?” Scott asked when Joel made his way down the dock.

“Not right now.” Joel grinned and put his hands on his hips.

“Forget your Speedo?” Ted asked.

“I have my pink one on under these,” Joel teased back, toying with the fabric on his cargo shorts. I giggled along with the rest of them.

“No, I'm actually here to let you know that if you'd like one more night on the town, tonight's the night; at least until mid summer when we have a week break to prepare for the second session.”

“A night out, I'm in!” Sandra said right away.

Jeff slicked back his hair, “I'm in, too. What kind of nightlife does this town have?”

“A couple dive bars,” I told him with a laugh.

“There is that place on the water on the opposite side of the lake.”

“The Casino Bar?” I asked.

“You have a casino here?” Sandra asked.

“Not quite,” I said with a laugh, “That's just the name of it.”

“It's a semi dive,” Joel said with a laugh. “Good views though.”

“I'm in,” Sandra repeated.

Teri scrunched her nose, “As much as I might regret it, I'm exhausted. I think I'm going to stay back and get to bed early.”

Scott pretended to yawn, “I'm sorta tired myself.” He smiled at the still-uninterested Teri, “Think I'll stick around, too.”

“I'm going,” Ted raised his hand.

“You driving?” Joel joked.

“Ehhhh…” He made a face.

“Mark?” Vicki turned to him and smiled, “Do you want to go?”

He made a face. “Nothing spoils a party faster than a drunk in a wheelchair.”

“That's crap.” She shook her head, “I'll take care of you. We can go together.”

“I think I'd rather stay in.”

She wore a little grin, “Would you mind my company?”

Mark smiled back. “I wouldn't mind at all.”

“(Y/N)?” Joel looked right at me.

“Yeah, sounds like fun.”

“Okay, then it's settled.”

Ted cleared his throat, “I think our wanderers should drive us.” He motioned to Jeff and Sandra, “They caused the uproar over here with the cops, and-”

Jeff swam a few feet over and dunked him under the water. When Ted came back up for air he never opened his eyes but continued trying to make his point about Jeff driving. Jeff dunked him again.

I couldn't help but laugh. This group felt like they were my people. I had only been around them for a short time but we all seemed to click.

“What time, boss?” Jeff asked, finally letting go of Ted.

“You want to leave here around seven?”

“Early bird special,” Ted continued to tease him, “The old man gets tired around nine.”

“Seven is fine!” Sandra shouted over him.

“Don't make me change my mind,” Joel shot back with a lopsided grin, pointing at Ted.

“Teddy!” Sandra shouted and Jeff dunked him again.

I looked up at Joel and he gave a wink, mouthing the words, “Ten o'clock,” and holding up all ten fingers.

I smirked and nodded before he bid everyone a temporary farewell and headed back through the trees towards the main cabin.

CLICK HERE FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER

@gissellec1 @cattt777 @mellymbee @armybts20137 @bbiophiliaa @littleblackcatinwonderland @mermaidgirl30 @brittmb115 @yellowjacketsbuzzbuzz @beltzboys2015-blog blog @lwfics @pedropascal111 @mellymbee @itscatrodriguez-thepearl

[alemonadinixi]

Jay's Story, Part 3

"Hey, Jay, you putting on weight?"

"Thanks for pointing it out, Derek," I tried to joke.

He laughed a little, "Sorry man, but hey, it happens! Stress is a killer. You want a workout buddy, you let me know."

"Thanks, man."

Derek went back to his desk, leaving me to my lunch. I looked like I had a bit of a beer belly, but so far there was no way anyone would guess I was carrying my girlfriend's eggs. These things had grown quickly, which Sierra said was a good sign. They'd settled in their place, now we just had to wait and see how they developed.

One development I was not expecting was to suddenly feel like my chest was damp. I glanced down and, sure enough, my shirt had small wet spots right over my nipples. I crossed my arms over my chest, put on my best “don't fuck with me right now” face, and rushed to the bathroom. I opened my shirt. Then I fucking panicked.

Lactating. I was lactating.

I watched tiny white beads form, dribbling down my chest when nothing soaked them up, hypnotized and horrified. Hiss don't even drink milk, let alone make it. This was not a thing Hiss did, of either sex, so why the hell was it happening to me??

I immediately called the surgeon’s office, since he was the only medical professional who knew what we'd done.

He was not nearly as alarmed as I thought he should be. “Huh. Interesting.”

“Doctor, how does me having work done on my intestine lead to growing breasts?” I demanded in a rough whisper.

“Tsk, all men have breasts, Jay, we just don't have the hormones necessary for them to function as such. Apparently your partner’s eggs, or the secretions used to implant them, contain something similar enough to trigger lactation. I'd have to run some tests to be certain, but that's the likeliest explanation.”

I rubbed between my eyes and took a deep breath. “So it's temporary.”

“Again, I can't be certain, no human has ever done what you've done before, but it is likely temporary, yes. I imagine the source is the eggs, and it will stop once you've laid them.”

“Why those instead of my partner?”

“Well, if it were her, I'd have expected the effects to appear much sooner after implantation. You'd have to have had her ovipositor secretions inside you regularly for that possibility to make sense.”

I blinked, my face growing warm. “... Oh.”

“You're a pioneer, Jay, we're going to run into all sorts of surprises, but so far nothing harmful has happened and things seem to be going well! Try not to worry, alright?”

“Right. Thanks, doctor.”

I hung up and stared at my reflection. What the doctor didn't know was Sierra had been regularly fucking me the past month. I loved the way she filled me, and I told myself at first there was something she secreted that made it better than normal, but honestly I was probably always a bottom and never knew it. Hell of a way to find out.

And it either needed to stop, or I needed to buy some nursing pads. I might need them anyway, it could be the eggs’ fault instead of Sierra’s.

Right now, the first thing to do was clean up. I tried dabbing at my shirt with a paper towel, which didn't do much. I'd just have to keep my jacket on, ask if I could leave work early, say I was sick or something. Then head home and Sierra and I could figure this out.

I got home before she did, and she found me in the bedroom trying to figure out if I could make nursing pads stay put in a shirt without a bra.

“Jay? What are you doing?”

“Trying not to need a nursing bra,” I grumbled and tossed the pads onto my dresser in defeat.

“A what?”

I sighed and removed my shirt. “So, something in either the eggs or your… secretions when we fuck is making me lactate.”

She looked concerned. “Is that bad?”

I took a breath. “Men don't normally do this, it's… human infants feed on milk from their mothers, so—”

Her face brightened, “So it's a good sign that your body accepts the eggs! You're making food, even if they won't need it.”

“That… that's not what I'm getting at,” I stammered, though it was a surprisingly pleasant thought. “I'm male, Sierra, this isn't supposed to happen to me.”

She shrugged, “You aren't supposed to have an egg pouch, either, but you do now.”

I frowned. “Stop being so logical about this.”

“Oh, Jay,” she wrapped her arms around my waist in a loose hug, “do you feel embarrassed?”

I blushed as a drop of milk trickled down my chest. “It’s a little upsetting, yeah!”

She licked my nipple. I jerked away with a gasp, “Stop that.”

“Does it hurt?”

“No, just… feels weird.”

She got a wicked look on her face and did it again. I jerked away, but this time she followed. “It tastes good,” she muttered. She took my nipple into her mouth and sucked.

I grunted in surprise, “Sierra!”

“Mmm, I like this a lot, Jay,” she mumbled, her hand opening my pants as she switched sides.

My protest got lost somewhere in my throat as she started pumping my cock as she sucked. I love the feel of her hands, smooth with just a touch of friction, like a snake's belly. As she dropped to her knees, she said, “Everything you make tastes delicious.”

My head rolled back as she licked the length of me. “Maybe… maybe I don't have to worry about the whole milk thing…”

She chuckled. “I don't think you do. I'll get you whatever you need.” She punctuated each word with a lick, “And. I'll. Lick. You. Clean. Every. Day.”

“Sucking would be good,” I almost managed not to beg.

She complied with a smile, and I stopped worrying about it.

[hey-cringelord]

last night a friend and i got really deep into the kiritetsu friendship and eventually spiralled into a lengthy conversation about tetsutetsu being not transgender, but the biggest ally in existence

started with "kirishima and tetsutetsu are similar, so theyre both transmen" then decided no, actually, tetsutetsu just had no idea that was a thing

convo highlights:

theyre gym bros. often sending each other post-pump day pics fresh out the shower (there might have been a mention about near- full bush in the pic. cannot confirm or deny)

the first time kiri sent a pic tetsutetsu thought the kt tape he uses to bind was from a very serious injury that kiri didn't tell him about. cue kiri mansplaining chest binding, what it means being a transman, and tetsutetsu's immediate 100% support

"super manly bro" "manly man!" ⬅️ live tetsutetsu reaction

more about being gym bros and the pics they send because theyre so fucking funny:

kiri is an avid leg day fan. tetsutetsu is not. multiple arguments here that is just gym bro mumbo jumbo to any unlucky eavesdropper

tetsu believes core should be given its own dedicated time slot at the gym. kiri has never once done core workouts on purpose and just loops core into his usual routine (and by letting his classmates rock his shit in training). more arguments ensue

their leg day pics to each other are either shorts pulled way too far up or just. butt naked in the gym. they dgaf. (there has been a number of occasions where they open the message and accidentally flash their friends. response is usually "but hes so built, what the hell !?")

😁👍💪🔥🏋️‼️ literally the only emojis seen in their texts

just. the idea they send each other the gayest possible videos. like those twitter dudebros trying to get thirst comments? thats them. except theyre so bro about it theres nothing gay about it

tetsutetsu's transgender learning experience:

kiri introduces the idea to him, explaining only the transmasculine side of things.

(curtains open) transfem monoma, everyone!

tetsutetsu asks people he knows if theyre trans (genuine curiosity. he thinks this trans shit is metal as hell) (literally everyone gets asked btw. no one is safe)

monoma beats him over the head when she says yes and his response is "thats so manly!" and once she (or probably kendou...) explains it to him: "that's so womanly!"

proceeds to say he thought she had a really intense chest routine and thats why her chest was so flat

tetsutetsu asks bakugou and promptly gets threatened in a back alley. tetsu says kiri told him transmasc is a thing, so now kiritetsu are getting threatened in a back alley. its a shared bro experience

after learning monomas transfem and shes not just like that, tetsutetsu fights for his life to not say "hey bro/dude/man!" when greeting her. it takes barely a day for her to get fed up with "hey lady!"

i could keep going, but this is already a wall of text on my laptop screen. i really just wanted to share all these so i can come back to them, cuz i was up until three am with a killer stomach ache from two half daquiris and baconator fries from wendys. i might have cried laughing at one point, not sure

[helluvaoutlaw]

(((Introducing my brand new oc baby! Commission made by GardenGoyle on X!

https://x.com/gardengoyle1?t=7eywA2fW1fEd-MiQCPXBZA&s=09

She's a super talented artist, and her commissions are open!)))

In the Name of the Law

Meet Detective Juniper Starling, a tough-as-nails half-Imp, half-succubus hybrid patrolling the chaotic streets of the ring of Pride.

With a photographic memory and a sharp eye for details, Juniper is a top-notch detective. She's a pro in hand-to-hand combat and has killer aim with her weapons. She pours everything into her work, solving cases and dishing out justice in Imp City. If you're causing trouble, you don't want to run into Detective Starling.

Here are more details under the cut:

Name: Juniper Starling

Species: Half-Imp, half-succubus hybrid demon.

Gender: Female

Age: 30

Occupation: Detective

Height: 5'10"

Build: Athletic and muscular, toned from rigorous training.

Skin Color: Raspberry.

Hair: Long, straight, dark chocolate brown.

Eyes: Yellow sclera with bright pink irises/pupils.

Horns: A pair of black, curved horns.

Tail: Long and prehensile, often used as a whip.

Determined: Strong sense of justice, dedicated to her work.

Charismatic: Uses charm effectively, inherited from her incubus heritage.

Tough: Resilient, both physically and mentally, due to her upbringing in Wrath.

Empathetic: Has a soft spot for the underdog, deeply empathetic.

Insecure About Love: Difficulty trusting romantic relationships due to parents' divorce and the high level of danger of her job.

Combat Proficiency: Skilled in hand-to-hand combat.

Great Aim: Exceptional accuracy with firearms and other ranged weapons.

Photographic Memory: Eidetic memory, able to recall detailed information precisely.

Attention to Detail: Highly observant, notices small but significant details.

Interrogation Skills: Uses charm to extract information and read intentions.

Detective Expertise: Exceptional analytical skills and deductive reasoning.

Agility: Enhanced speed and agility from her imp heritage.

Juniper grew up in Wrath, a harsh environment fostering resilience and survival skills. She was bullied very often because of her father's "scandalous" job and the fact that she had mixed genetics.

David Starling, her father, is a famous retired incubus porn star, now a coach for new actors and actresses.

Her mother, Doreen, is an humble imp living a quiet life on a small farm in Wrath. They have been divorced for years, impacting Juniper's views on love and relationships, although they both love their daughter more than anything.

She has a fierce, bitter rivalry with the notorious assassin Striker. Both see the system's flaws and corruption, but they have completely different philosophies. Juniper believes in justice, order, and protecting the denizens of Hell, while Striker thrives in chaos and uses the system's flaws to his advantage. Their first encounter left Juniper with a scar on her chest and Striker with a deep wound behind his left thigh.

Striker's belief that killing the Goetia demons would solve Hell's problems is something Juniper vehemently opposes.

She wished it was that simple.

Their ongoing battles are intense and dangerous, driven by their mutual hatred and conflicting ideals.

Fun Facts:

-Her last name, Starling, is a small homage to agent Clarice Starling from The Silence of the Lambs.

-She loves all types of coffee, whether it’s black, with sugar, milk, or even fancy lattes.

-Juniper does her best work at night and often finds herself more alert and focused when the "sun" goes down. She's a workaholic.

-She has a small collection of badges and patches from different police departments and security forces across Hell, symbolizing her respect for the brotherhood in law enforcement.

-Besides the notable scar from Striker, Juniper has a few other scars from various fights and chases, each with its own story of bravery and narrow escapes.

-She hits the gym regularly and can deadlift more than most of her colleagues. Her workout routine is intense, keeping her in peak physical condition for her demanding job.

-She once won a marksmanship competition against some of the best sharpshooters in Hell, earning her serious bragging rights.

-Juniper keeps a detailed journal of her cases, complete with sketches, notes, and theories. It's her personal way of staying organized and reflecting on her work.

-Despite their complicated past, Juniper visits her mom’s farm in Wrath whenever she needs to clear her head or get some peace and quiet.

She doesn't like participating in big family reunions from her mom's side, but does so nonetheless to make her happy.

-Whenever her father passes by the Pride Police headquarters to say hi, all her colleagues swoon over him (much to her annoyance). He's quite the silver fox.

((Probably going to make a blog for her.))

[sugahbunnies]

BUCKET LIST ☆ 08

The cafeteria table is full of chattering, Kaidou and Aren are attempting to create plans for Halloween which is in two days. You listen intently as Aiura says you should all go in costumes.

"Nothing lame! So Hairo, no more blanket ghosts please" She complains, handing Nendou a napkin for the mess he made.

"It's a classic, how could I not?" He spits out, suddenly going on the floor and doing pushups. You laugh at the sight of Hairo randomly doing his workout. Your chopsticks drop loudly on your tray, listening to the rest of the plans being made. Teruhashi and Chiyo agree to do your bloody makeup, as you decided you wanted to go as a killer. No one in particular, but just a killer and Saiki thought that actually suits you. He munches on his cafeteria food, knowing he is going to get tangled into these Halloween plans either way.

"Saiki, you should go as a bloody butler! You'll look so cool" Kaidou suggests, pushing Nendou off the chair next to Saiki and sitting down.

"Yeah you should haha.. you would look nice" Teruhashi agrees sheepishly, scratching the back of her head.

You snort, finding it funny how Teruhashi so obviously likes Saiki but he doesn't seem to care. The most gorgeous girl in the world likes him and he doesn't like her? Yeah, he's weird. You focus your attention to Saiki's tray, eyeing the green grapes displaying. You glance up at him and he nods, pushing his tray towards you.

"Thanks Saiki" You whisper, grabbing the grapes by hand and pushing them into your mouth.

He grabs his school bag and takes out the bunny drawing you had done a while back. He sets it down on the table and points at it. Your eyes brighten up as you excitedly grab it and hold it up to the side of your face.

"How is it not crumbled?! I literally destroyed it with my own hands so how-" You try to catch your breath, stopping your rapid talking. Saiki mouths the word "Powers" to you and with a nod, you give him a thumbs up.

He always found it funny how your habit of throwing a thumbs up has gotten worse. He wonders if your thumb is as tired as you are.

Saiki decides it's finally time to ask you about it.

Once lunch ends, he tries to find you by yourself but you're always surrounded by either Aren or Kaidou. Even the girls seemed to never leave you alone.

So he has one last idea.

To talk to you after school.

This is a difficult concept considering you usually have Kaidou walk you home. So, Saiki has to get to you way before anyone did. He silently watches you put away something in your bag. The drawing, perhaps?

Saiki walks up behind you, poking your shoulder. You turn and wave at him, and before you could loudly speak, he holds a finger to his lips.

"Your eyebags" He flatly points out, cautiously looking at his surroundings and confirming there is no one coming near you both. Your eyes showing multiple emotions, confusion flashing through your irises.

He's really close to you now, and your back is against a wall. His last words catch you off guard and you try to play it cool.

"You're sick aren't you?".

You push him off harshly, your head bumping with his chin.

"Hey! What's with the questions, huh?" You blurt out, jabbing your finger at his chest and pressing your nail against his skin to inflict some kind of pain.

"I know something is wrong, just tell me" Saiki explains, gingerly grabbing your finger and pushing it down to your side.

"Why do you care? It's not like we're best friends" You say in a hushed voice.

Oh yeah, that's right Saiki thinks to himself, and he has to admit that did sting a little considering he was actually starting to think of you as a friend. Not even a friend, but as a best friend.

"You're a pain, forget I even asked" He blurts out, shaking his head and disappearing into the incoming crowd.

You blink, rubbing your eyes and frowning at yourself for saying such a rude thing.

Jeez, this sickness is really getting to me.

You're about to push through the pouring in of people but feel a hand wrap around yours. You look down and see Kaidou's bandaged up hand.

"Home?" He asks with puppy eyes and dammit, he really knows how to use those eyes when it's convenient to him.

All you do is nod and allow him to walk you home, as always.

☆

"Your skin is so soft, Y/n" Nendou comments, rubbing the back of his hand against your cheek. You slap his hand away, Teruhashi looking back at him with a forced smile.

The whole bunch is currently at Saiki's house, who does not appear too thrilled about the idea.

The girls are fixing up your costume by working on the blood makeup on your face. Aiura thought it was a good idea to splatter blood on your clothes. It was a great thought but it soon turned into Aiura and Teruhashi trying to convince Saiki to put on bloody makeup too.

It worked.

You're matching with Saiki in terms of how much fake blood you have thrown at your face and clothes. You grab him by the shoulder and pull him to your side, showing the others you both look similar.

"Look at Saiki's face, he's totally enjoying this!" Nendou points at Saiki, whose facial expression is still blank. You cringe internally, maybe he's hoping you weren't close to him.

He shrugs your hand off. You nudge him playfully and he stumbles to the side, nudging you back harder.

You sigh in relief, you're glad to see that he's atleast acknowledging you.

"Okay let's go!" Chiyo grabs your hand and Hairo links his arm around yours, pulling you towards out the house. The others follow you three out, meanwhile Saiki is having a crisis of his own.

Y/n is way too close to my friends for my liking , what should i do?

Saiki watches you joke around and laugh with the others, walking through neighborhoods and asking for candy.

He's getting nervous now, seeing you actually get along with Teruhashi and cracking more jokes with her.

He bumps into Nendou, who starts interrogating him.

"Woah buddy, why is your face so pale? Ah I see, you're scared of the decorations put up, don't worry I'll keep you safe" He grumbles as he places his jacket over Saiki's shoulders.

You finally look back at Saiki, it's like you've been avoiding him this entire night. You flash him an apologetic look, indicating that you're sorry for not acknowledging him this whole time.

He just gives you a thumbs up, poking fun at your habit of always throwing up a thumbs up. You return the favor, turning your attention back to Kaidou picking out his favorite candies and giving them to you.

"Saiki actually gets cooler once you get to know him longer" Kaidou tells you, his shoulder practically stuck to yours. You instantly agree, adding on about how he's not actually emotionless but really considerate.

Saiki's tense shoulders relax, he takes a deep breath in and gives himself a massage on his wrists. He really was nervous for nothing, you're not a threat to his already formed friendships.

He was actually afraid you might take his friends away, no wonder he's been acting so weird since you got here. He hated to admit it but he saw you potentially ruining his friendships with how outgoing you are.

In reality, you did not affect his relationships at all.

He decides to enjoy the night, he just couldn't stop staring at how you still looked like a genuinely nice person even with fake blood all over you.

Saiki shakes his head, he still disliked how he was getting comfortable with you. You just always seemed to create a welcoming atmosphere wherever you went.

Good grief, Saiki glances at his heavy bag of candy. I guess this could be worse.

☆

After everyone had left, you asked Saiki if you could stay at his for a bit. You hate being home alone and your parents are working super late again.

He agrees, only if you give him his favorite brand of candy in exchange. You groan, hesitantly grabbing the strawberry flavored bars from your bag. You show him your palm, the candies crinkling as he grabs him quickly and slips them into his own bag.

"Thanks" He mutters, dumping his entire candy collection onto the table. He hopes you understand what he is hinting at. He wants to exchange more candies with you as a form of human interaction ..

That sounds really bad, he just wants to interact with you because he feels bad for seeing you in a negative way.

You do get the hint, you follow his lead and you both start hastily trading sweets.

"Hey, give that one back! Don't be greedy" You snap at him, grasping back the king sized chocolate bar he snatched.

"Okay fine, your twin size caramel bar then" Saiki proposes, rubbing his chin as if he has made the most difficult decision ever.

"Hmm" You sit back on the chair, rubbing your temples and thinking hard.

"Only if I get your sour gummies".

"Deal".

You swap candies once again, your hands ripping apart the small packaging. The sour bears scatter in front of you on the table, you shove a gummy to Saiki's face.

"Take it" You insist, waving it in front of his mouth like it's bait. He carefully takes it from your hand, throwing it into his mouth. You let out a soft laugh, you find it funny how he chews.

You try to sneakily take back your caramel bar, but Saiki slams his hand upon yours. Shaking his head, he's still chewing and throws another candy package to you.

"Okay just one more sour bear" He says, picking up another gummy and popping it into his mouth.

"You should totally try this one" You hold up a plastic bag of candy corns, causing Saiki to throw you a disgusted glance.

"Candy corn is the worst, come on" Saiki stands up to get you a glass of water, looking back and seeing you're still shoving your face in candy.

Hours fly by and you're still conversing about how your collection of naked angels is expensive but manageable. Saiki nods intently, focusing on your lit up phone when a notification pops up.

"Doctors appointment at 9am".

He purses his lips, trying to force a calm expression on his face. He's fighting the urge to ask you about it, but he knows you won't say anything.

He throws more mini bags at you filled with sour belts, waiting for you to trade more chocolate bars with him.

"Bet you wish you never traded these" You twirl the multi color strip around your finger.

"Yeah, I really do wish" Saiki mumbles, staring at your eyebags.

He wishes you would tell him whats happening to you, but all he knows is that patience is what he needs.

He gives you a sad look, to which you do not see as you continue blabbering. He smiles slightly.

Maybe you're not annoying anymore.

[bulkyphrase]

AmeriHawk: a Clint Barton/Steve Rogers rec list

A few of my favorite fics from an underappreciated rarepair!

Found Your Husband by sara_holmes (@captn-sara-holmes) (Teen And Up Audiences, 8,824 words, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings)

Summary: Clint was never any good at strategy. He's pretty good at putting his foot in his mouth, though. Never to the extent where he ends up accidentally marrying someone he's not seen in twenty years, though.

Third Wheel or 20 Dates by cakeisnotpie (Explicit, 9,748 words, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings)

Summary: Steve and Clint are the third wheels around the tower. Basketball, classic movies, plays, and late night workouts ensue. Turns out, they may have been dating the whole time.

More below the cut!

Contractually Obligated, at Least Out of Uniform by snack_size (Explicit, 57,833 words, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings)

Summary: A chance encounter in the SHIELD hallway leads Clint and Steve, post-Avengers, to get to know each other better when everyone else is off having adventures. Things develop slowly, and awkwardly, and probably only thanks to one well timed comment by Tony. From there, Clint and Steve try to navigate a new reality, each other, and their various past traumas.

You were good for her by marmolita (@marmolita) (Explicit, 2,364 words, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings)

Author's Note: "This fic is a followup to quigonejinn's Beast of Burden. It may not make much sense if you haven't read that one first, so please do."

Summary: "Clint, I want--" Steve says, pulling back. Clint looks up at him, one hand on Steve's shoulder and one on the side of his ribs. Steve blinks, looks away. "I want you to hurt me."

Ghosts by AvaKelly (@intermittently-ava) (Explicit, 22,931 words, Graphic Depictions Of Violence)

My Note: This fic and the next one are the reason I ship AmeriHawk. Before I read them I hadn't even considered the ship as a possibility.

Summary: "Under the ice, I was awake." When the words settle in his head, Clint feels dizzy with comprehension. And yeah, there it is, the ripping that slices into his ribcage, sharp and painful, as if trying to erase everything that had touched his chest before. He shudders violently. "How are you sane," a whisper slips out unabated, voicing Clint's realization. "I'm not really."

Illusions by AvaKelly (@intermittently-ava) (Explicit, 26,362 words, Graphic Depictions Of Violence)

Summary: Hawkeye looks at him unblinking, unwinds his muscles with an upturn curl of a corner of his mouth that flashes a hint of teeth into the sunlight. He extends a hand, grips Steve's jaw a little too tight. "This is what kills people," he warns, like he refuses to acknowledge it as part of him. It sends a pang of hurt through Steve, because Clint can see a lot, but how can he not realize that it's Clint speaking through Hawkeye's mouth? They are not separate, but of one being, killer and conscience. That is what makes them soldiers instead of murderers.-- Alternate telling of Ghosts from Steve's perspective. Why you should read it: It has about 3 extra chapters from Ghosts of the boys in the tower. Here we dive into what reality looks like for Steve, after the years in ice. The Cat was here.

A Lifetime Of Dreaming by shatteredhourglass (@shatteredhourglass) (Explicit, 15,541 words, Graphic Depictions Of Violence)

Summary: "Clint," someone calls out, and Clint blinks. Alternatively titled 'Clint Barton And The No-Good, Shitty, Very Bad Day.'

If I Don't Wake Up Dead by copperbadge (@copperbadge) (Mature, 30,756 words)

Summary: Clint Barton -- subby, ex-carnie white trash, spy -- isn't the kind of guy Captain America goes for. Nobody informed Captain America of this.

in the day by harcourt (@haforcere) (Not Rated, 2,586 words)

Summary: For this prompt, where Steve is a man out of time, and things really were better way back when. Today, Doms control every aspect of their subs lives, more like ownership than a partnership. And when Steve wakes up, every one expects him to slot neatly into society because he comes from a time when "Doms were Doms and subs were subs," right? Also available as a podfic read by GoLBPodfics (@godoflaundrybaskets)

Chase Away the Winter's Chill by drmcbones (Teen And Up Audiences, 4,461 words)

Summary: Everybody sees Steve as the invincible Captain America, the hero who bounced back from being frozen for 70 years and went straight back to kicking ass and taking names. People forget that he's still a human being who underwent a horrific trauma. So Clint is thrown for a loop when he visits Steve's apartment and finds him in the midst of a panic attack brought on by his first winter since his near death in the arctic. Cue Clint doing whatever it takes to look after his teammate and remind him that he is not alone.

Boundless by AvaKelly (@intermittently-ava) (Teen And Up Audiences, 931 words)

Summary: Steve gets rewarded for his sacrifice with the choice of roaming the world as an invisible spirit while he's frozen and he takes it. One day, he meets a boy and makes a promise.

(my heart is) A Church of Scars by Kangofu_CB (Teen And Up Audiences, 4,384 words)

Summary: "Steve." It was a gentle correction, but implacable all the same. "It's Steve. And you never belonged to Loki because I'm pretty sure you belong to me." He reached for the buttons at his throat and began loosening them, revealing pale collarbones and smooth, hairless skin, but before the stripping could get really risque - and some distant part of Clint was deeply disappointed - Steve stopped unbuttoning the shirt and instead pulled the edges of it aside, so that his right shoulder was showing. A right shoulder that was marred by a very distinctive, starburst-shaped scar. The kind of scar an arrow left. Clint's vision narrowed to pinpricks, and he could feel himself panting in short, choppy bursts. In the aftermath of the Battle of New York, Clint finds something to hold on to.

Another First Kiss by Sineala (@sineala) (Explicit, 22,645 words)

Summary: Clint and the rest of the Avengers are alive and safe, home again after Onslaught. The team is getting back together. Life is great. And, what's more, Clint has woken up to one of his longtime fantasies, come true at last: Steve Rogers is naked in his bed and is very, very happy to see him. Everything would be perfect... if only Clint could remember anything at all about how Steve got there. Uh-oh. Okay, so he has a bit of amnesia. There's only one thing to do: wing it. The memories are bound to come back, any minute now. In the meantime, Clint can absolutely, definitely pretend that he knows what he's doing, who all these new Avengers are, and how the hell he ended up dating Captain America.