#killabeez

[kanjiklubb]

[stillboldlygoing]

ahhhhhh “Bitter Glass” by killabeez (which I want to say was written in 1996) — gosh I have gone to back to that one so many times. such a goddamn incredible writer 🩵✨

currently losing my mind over a spirk ff wrote in 1997 how is everyone else doing??

[periru3]

Better to Have Loved and Lost (Vidshow)

A vidshow for all the loves that were never meant to last (and maybe a few that shouldn't have even started to begin with). Made for VidUKon 2024.

Bad Blood (Never Ever), a Multi-Fandom fanvid by Fiercynn & Scribe We are never, ever, ever getting back together (like, ever).

Hate Me, an Interview with the Vampire fanvid by Killabeez I hate me for loving you.

Bottom of the River, a Due South fanvid by Scribe Hold my hand, ooh baby, it's a long way down to the bottom of the river.

Rolling in the Deep, an X-Men fanvid by Arefadedaway I can't help thinking, we could've had it all.

(I'm Not Calling You a) Liar, a Steven Universe fanvid by Butterfly I love you so much I'm gonna let you kill me.

The Lost Sky, a Xena: Warrior Princess fanvid by Ohvienna Why would you say those words to me if you could not follow through?

This Is Everything, a Star Trek fanvid by Morrigan291 No, I'm not aware of how I could possibly love you without aching.

When We're Dancing, an 11.22.63 fanvid by Periru3 Let's pretend this song won't end, and we never have to go home.

La Noyée, a Portrait of a Lady on Fire fanvid by Tafadhali Running along the shore, I call to you to come back.

Personal Jesus, a Fleabag fanvid by Findmeinthealps & Teyla Someone to hear your prayers, someone who cares.

No Children, a Community fanvid by Xandra You are coming down with me, hand in unlovable hand.

Lucky Me, a Buffy the Vampire Slayer fanvid by Milly And you're sad, and you're sorry. Let it all out. What are you waiting for?

Till the World Ends, a Titanic fanvid by Rhoboat If you feel it, let it happen, keep on dancing til the world ends.

Thank U, Next, a Crazy Ex-Girlfriend fanvid by Ultraviolet Catastrophe I'm so fucking grateful for my ex.

Would've Been You, a Multi-Fandom fanvid by BeatriceEagle You know the greatest loves of all time are over now.

A whole bunch of bonus vids - cut for time, or for duplicate songs, vidders, or fandoms:

Dante's Prayer, a Titanic fanvid by Thevetia & Morgandawn

Destroying Angels, a Yellowjackets fanvid by Tafadhali

Everything Stops, a Star Trek fanvid by BeatriceEagle

Exile, a Xena: Warrior Princess/Multi-Fandom fanvid by Ultraviolet Catastrophe

Let Me Live, a Multi-Fandom fanvid by BeatriceEagle

Mowgli's Road, a Brideshead Revisited fanvid by Obsessive24

Some Fantastic, a Buffy the Vampire Slayer fanvid by Laura Shapiro

Something Just Like This, a Game of Thrones fanvid by Sisabet

The World You Thought You Lived In, a Multi-Fandom fanvid by BeatriceEagle

This Is Everything, a Torchwood/Doctor Who fanvid by 24SE

Where Did You Sleep Last Night, a Yellowjackets fanvid by Ohvienna

Writing Notes, a Buffy the Vampire Slayer fanvid by Here's Luck

[preseriesdean]

for @spnficrecfest day ten 🧡

2x05 SIMON SAID

have a cigar by deadlybride 5.6k words, rated E, published 2020 What happened with Andy and Ansem unsettles Sam. Dean doesn't seem worried.

2x14 HOUSES OF THE HOLY

The real green thing will come by victoria_p 1k words, rated T, published 2007 He'd like to blame the whiskey, but he thinks it's more than that, this whatever-it-is between them that's been there for years.

2x20 WHAT IS AND WHAT SHOULD NEVER BE + 2x22 ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE

Worthless cartography by Goshen / applecrumbledore 15.6k words, rated E, published 2022 Dean didn’t know what finally made him go for it. The djinn’s dream was a catalyst, but the call was coming from inside the house, and he’d been letting it ring for a very, very long time. (They get one night together right before Sam is taken to Cold Oak. Dean has to deal with that.)

2x22 ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE

When I Fall Asleep it Is Your Eyes That Close by britomart_is 1.9k words, rated E, published 2009 Sam is alive. Dean is happy.

3x11 MYSTERY SPOT

North of Wednesday by Mollyamory 3.5k words, rated G, published 2008 Sam's behind the wheel before he realizes he doesn't have the keys. Dean does. There should be another cheesy eighties song coming on any second, because it's like he wakes up again, without ever falling asleep.

This Fortress Made of Us by mickeym 10.8k words, rated E, published 2009 Sam really didn't do very well without his brother.

What Went Wrong Yesterday by SinnamonSpider 16.2k words, rated E, published 2017 With Broward County in their rearview and a new case in their laps, Sam struggles to come to terms with the six months he spent alone after Dean’s death - and the fact that it never happened at all. And on top of it all, he now has to deal with the feelings for his brother that have been dragged to the surface.

4x17 IT'S A TERRIBLE LIFE

How Many Floors to Realize by lazy_daze 26.2k words, rated E, published 2009 In which Zachariah decides to keep stringing them along a little while longer, because damn if they aren't somewhat entertaining, right?

5x01 SYMPATHY FOR THE DEVIL

Lesser Evils by Dyed_Red 9.3k words, rated E, published 2020, non-con “So you’re just gonna, what – torture us for an hour while your guys hightail it to Buffalo? That’s your master plan here?” “Oh I can do a lot in an hour or two, Sammy. Like having your surrogate daddy here carve Dean a new face. Like backsliding you off your pretty bandwagon. Like…Seeing how far big brother will go for his sweet baby Sam.”

5x04 THE END

Further than a Ship, Faster Than a Bomb by queenklu 622 words, rated M, published 2010 Set during 5x04, when there was a glorious moment of two Dean Winchesters at the same time. "You left him."

5x14 MY BLOODY VALENTINE

The Heart of Life by queenklu 626 words, rated T, published 2010 A Vonnegut Valentine.

5x18 POINT OF NO RETURN

the tabernacle reconstructed by redmyeyes 2.9k words, rated M, published 2022 They pulled on clothes, afterwards.

6x18 FRONTIERLAND

You Have One Saved Message by killabeez 3.1k words, rated T, published 2011 Sam gets a new smart phone.

6x22 THE MAN WHO KNEW TOO MUCH

These Things I Know Are True by killabeez 4.6k words, rated E, published 2011 Cas is off the rails, Sam's barely keeping it together, and Dean's trying to figure out where they go from here.

8x21 THE GREAT ESCAPIST

Last Temptation by merle_p 3k words, rated M, published 2021 Sam is running a fever again, the kind of fever no Ibuprofen or cold compress will bring down, the kind of fever that is eating him up alive, eviscerating him from the inside. He is too hot and too cold and too pale, delirious and shaking, resonating with whatever divine energy the trials are subjecting him to, and Dean is not sure how much longer he can stand to see him be in this state.

10x12 ABOUT A BOY

capitulation by deadlybride 8.5k words, rated E, published 2018 When they don't manage to turn Dean back into his adult self, Sam spends a month researching how to fix it.

Betelgeuse by hellhoundsprey 2.8k words, rated E, published 2020 The hex bag never burned.

Telescope by doctor_idiot 7k words, rated E, published 2017 Sam stares at his brother in his baggie hoodie with the rolled-up up sleeves and he wants to cry.

11x17 RED MEAT

Chosen by killabeez 2.5k words, rated E, published 2016, mcd This might be their last night on earth, so Sam figures, what the hell.

[stonenumberone]

SUPERNATURAL REC FEST (@spnficrecfest)

DAY 2 - KINKS OR WHUMP (BOTH)

Baton Rouge | @prince-of-elsinore (2021) (Rated E, 7.5k, Sam/Dean, wound tending, first time, s15) Sam and Dean drive into the heart of a storm.

Put Your Arms Around Me Like A Ring Around The Sun | t_fic (topaz) (2011) (Rated E, 15.7k, Sam/Dean, Sam/Dean/OFC, first time, sex magic) "I dunno, man," Dean says, after Sam literally shakes him to get him to focus. "I don't feel bad, just... not there all the time. Like there's a hole or something and it's sucking me down into it." They're a day-and-a-half drive from Bobby's; Sam make it in a little over eight hours.

All That I'm Good For | witling (2013) (Rated M, 3.5k, Sam/Dean, underage mention, morphine, alcohol) “You're kidding me,” he called, and then he had to get up, heave himself painfully out of the bed and find his balance—he was drunker than he'd thought—and go lean in the bathroom door. “Did you just…do we have a suicide pact, now?”

What Lasts | @zmediaoutlet/deadlybride (2021) (Rated M, 17.3k, Sam&Dean, gen, wound tending, s8) Not long after they move into the bunker, Dean loses a leg. Most of a leg. After the hospital, Sam brings him home, and they figure out how to live with what remains.

The Gold Room | @hathfrozen (2022) (Rated E, 31.5k, Sam/Dean, UST, wound tending, first time, ps-s2) Sam grew into wanting Dean the same way he grew into his bones. It isn’t something they can will or trick or ignore away. It isn’t something that can be undone.

These Things I Know Are True | killabeez (2011) (Rated E, 4.6k, Sam/Dean, first time, s6) Cas is off the rails, Sam's barely keeping it together, and Dean's trying to figure out where they go from here.

Just Like Heaven | @redmyeyes (2023) (Rated M, 6.8k, Sam/Dean, forced proximity, soulmates but it hurts, s5) They both went to heaven. Dean came back wrong.

Stay The Distance | lazy_daze (2011) (Rated E, 24k, Sam/Dean, nightmares, forced proximity, s6-7) "You know why. I'm not leaving my brother alone out there." Sam is dependent on Dean's touch and closeness after the wall falls - Dean's presence reminds him of why he chose to wake up, and keeps the memories at bay, allowing Sam to function.

Desiderata (WIP) | @dyed-red (2021) (Rated E, 45k, Sam/Dean, caretaking, first time) Dean is hit with a curse. It shouldn’t take that much to resolve, could be a gift under other circumstances, but life’s not that simple for the Winchesters.

You'll Never See Us Again | @according2thelore (2023) (Rated T, 5k, Sam&Dean, Sam/Dean, nightmares, touch-starved, s7) Sam suffers from nightmares and touch starvation post-Cage. They do their best to deal.

[zmediaoutlet]

hey i saw your post about ao3 house style and i can totally relate to it, so i thought maybe you could share some wincest fic recs? please and thank u 🙏

you know what bud, I will indeed share some wincest fic recs bc you should rec the stuff that is good and leave the crud in the dust, right? Right. So -- here are uhh a number of recs as they occur to me, which actually read like a person wrote them instead of an AO3-trained algorithm of some kind. Plus I only rec stuff if I actually like it so consider these Z Certified or something.

The Fremont Street Experience by @nigeltde-fic -- a quick 1200 words that's a fizzing jolt of champagne right under the heart. New love that's just bursting with all that could be. Anticipation fizzes in Dean's veins, dances in his fingertips. The sand shimmers, hazes, glitters. There's so much sky. It pours into the road at the horizon. -- see?

Miles Ahead by @egipci -- a fully-formed entirely real paragraph of 750 words in which we see Sam Winchester in all his want and wanting, and I want to crawl inside the narrative presented and live there year-round. You were pretending to sleep and every once in a while a car would pass by and the headlights would fill up the inside of the car like midday and then I would look at you out the corner of my eye. All the way I thought about Mexico and you there sunburnt. -- I mean my god.

Countdown by @mollyamory-again -- another tight 1200 of just a normally-tense night that dissolves in sweet established-vibes intimacy. Brothers who feel like brothers and also an earned and real -- not hotness exactly but just adults who have sex who act and think like adults, which is not as common as you'd hope! His fingers skate over Dean's skin in lazy patterns; they find their old places, and Dean shoves up to meet them, asking for more and getting more all at once. Sam missed him, Sam wants him; Sam is here, so they can do this, Dean wants so badly to do this.

Four Winters: I by @lindencypressbirch, who got deleted and so we'll just call her Linden. Stretching all the way up to 4700 words this time, Linden takes us through a godawful piece of shit of a day in which Dean Winchester Is Handling It, until of course he isn't -- but he is, because he has to, because what other choice is there? This one does a great job of showcasing the misery without lingering on it in a maudlin or tedious way. There's just the job, and then the next job after. After another moment or two he scrubbed a hand over his wet face and went looking for his thermos, and the last of the cold coffee it held. Because they had power now, yes, but there was no telling whether they would have power later, and as they were clearly not going to be going anywhere for a few days, he had work to do before it maybe went.

The Fall Will Probably Kill You by killabeez, which is allll the way up to 7k and retains interest throughout. The big strength in this one is that Sam is competent, steady, believable-from-canon Sam when we get so much over-the-top meathead jerk or simpering babyboy who reads 15 when he's mean to be 40. I'm just blown over by all that SAM. This fic is really about Dean's misery in s7 but it's dealt with pragmatically, almost implacably; more ott than the show went on some details, but the overall vibe is nevertheless: they will get through it because this is who they are. I appreciate that always and forever. He's the one with the secret, now. He hadn't meant it to be that way. But Sam asked Dean to trust him, and Dean said okay because he was sorry for using the F-word. Sorry for putting that look on Sam's face, for making him feel like a freak, the way he hadn't been for laying him out with his fist. It's ridiculous, how he still folds like a house of cards where Sam's concerned, no matter how many times he's told himself he won't do it again. But now he's stuck with the lie, and has no one to blame but himself.

That's probably enough to be going on with. If you read these, please leave a comment to tell the author that you appreciate their work, because it should be appreciated.

[redmyeyes]

for @spnficrecfest day 7: SHORT FICS

recently i'm obsessed with short fics, esp of the <1k variety. how do you tell a story that is complete, in so few words? the best versions of these feel carved out of marble -- in that, there's a pre-existing something, whose essence is revealed through a slow chipping-away of words. every sentence shaped, every word existing because it must exist.

in this space, no one is doing more creative work than @egipci.

honestly a master class in flash fiction (for those who don't want to venture outside of spn, lol) and it kills me that her fic doesn't have more kudos.

here are a few of my faves:

Miles Ahead (G, Sam/Dean, 750 words) What I was trying to tell you — we were in the car heading out of Gary, going a hundred miles an hour, a hundred twenty. It was Memorial Day.

Vertigo, 1999 (G, Sam/Dean, Dean/John, 650 words) There were hunters there too, and they warned us.

Meditations (G, Sam POV, 800 words) That’s seven hours that they’ve been gone now which you know because your dad sat you down and taught you how to read that old-school clock.

and in slightly longer but still short fic, here's a few more that i've loved:

feels like rain | @zmediaoutlet / deadlybride (M, Sam/Dean, 1491 words) Just because it's heaven doesn't mean the weather's perfect.

no better view of heaven than this. just enough and just right.

This Next Town | @nigeltde-fic (T, Sam/Dean, 1550 words) Giving way to fruitful years.

post-15.19 sam character study, and a meditation on the small (profound) moments.

Talismans | killabeez (G, 964 words) With everything he's lost, such a small thing shouldn't matter.

one of those very early fics (written 2006, in season 2) that holds up remarkably well, as all killabeez's stuff does.

Stitches | nonnie (G, 291 words) You can rip it apart as many times as you like and start over from scratch.

on this list for concept alone, idk that it gets more creative than this. crack on the surface, with a decidedly sinister underpinning. is it crack? AU? allegory? delusion? you decide, it stands alone.

[treesspeaklatin]

It's spirk ficrec time! Fics with less than 400 kudos - part 2

Part 1 here ; part 3 coming soon

These things we do not speak of - Della19 (AOS)

Basically anything written by this author is the best thing you'll read today, but this one, omg, this one. I don't have the right words to describe what it did to my heart. It's a classic falling in love - introspection - pon farr fic. The author has an amazing control of their style and of the characters, and the levels of pining are astronomical. Locked on ao3, so you'll need an account to read it.

The Sea King - killabeez (TOS MIRROR)

When I found this fic I couldn't believe my eyes. It's a mirroresque Gilgamesh au, elegant, epic and bittersweet. The mix of futuristic and mythological elements is really good. Can I say Gilgamesh and Enkidu were the original t'hy'la? There, I said it. Read this if you're looking for something different and you want to be surprised.

Root Systems - Moonfishgirl (AOS)

During a stay on New Vulcan, Jim watches Spock exist inside his own culture, and in the process he discovers something about himself (spoiler: he looooves him!). Adorable fic, rich on Vulcan traditions. Read this if you are into some good Vulcan culture and ancient t'hy'la warrior bond lore.

Five times Bones and Jim forgot they were married - Goldencoalcat (AOS MCSPIRK)

This time I wanted to include some Bones/Kirk/Spock too. This fic is adorable and a good Jim character study. It explores his relationship with his family and Winona in particular, and the reasons why he has issues with being loved. Characters are spot on. Read this if you're in the mood for hurt!Jim being pampered and loved by his two husbands.

one grave too many - leafings (every universe)

Not exactly a mirror universe, but a twisted, fucked-up universe in which the crew loves Jim in a dark and obsessive way and is willing to do anything for his sake, and I mean here Enterprise rhymes with homicide. In the midst of the dark stuff, to no one's surprise, Jim and Spock also find time for their t'hy'la shit. I live for this concept.

A heart even more your own - cicia3 (TOS)

Hey, it's me. I wanted to end with this fic of mine because I really think I wrote this in some sort of mystical fit and I'll never write something this good again lol it's a Persuasion AU with some other good old Austen shenanigans. Excruciating pining + sexual tension + romance.

(last but not the least. Do you know why I specifically choose fics with less than 400 kudos? Because they are fucking amazing and it's ridiculous they don't have something like 2k kudos while they deserve so much more recognition. So PLEASE for the love of god, if you're gonna read these fics and if you'll love them (and you'll probably love them) tell the authors! Smash that kudos button, leave a comment, send them heart emojis, share those fics and don't let them die in the dust!)

Share this post for a better world ❤️

[hlh-shortcuts]

A Fool at the Right Time by killabeez

Summary: It's Duncan's birthday, and Amanda means well. She does.

Why should you read this? Because everything Killa writes is brilliant. Wait wait wait. Okay. There are other reasons. The spot-on character voices. I'm a sucker for those. The well-meaning scheming of the daring and incomparable Amanda Darieux. The fact that Duncan and Methos are utter idiots who cannot be brought together without well-meaning scheming, and if they had just told her everything, she could have-- Well, she couldn't have, but surely they could have worked something out sooner.

Also there's a scorchingly hot threesome with deep emotional connection between these three that should never be passed up.

[jennelikejennay]

24!

Favorite fic I read this year.

You don't know what you're asking, I read so many 😭

I'll mention just a few but even that is a challenge:

Turning Point by killabeez

Nightvisions by Susan K James

Time After Time by spaceisgay...read it on one of my worst mental health days this year and laughed till I cried

Is There Beauty in the Stranger by CampySpaceSlime

[envythemouse]

Best voicemail fix-it fics

Why wasn't this in the show?? How do you manage to write 15 seasons of a show and forget to address the voicemail that broke my Sammy's heart and basically caused the apocalypse?? Same thing for the samulet.

Remind Me of Who I Used to Be by TeleportingAspen

Summary: Sam has a vision of Magda’s death, and turns to an old mp3 file to cope. But a dream and a discovery suggest that neither the power nor the voicemail was what it seemed…

Envy’s notes: I’m putting this voicemail fix-it first because it’s painfully underrated and only has 45 kudos.

Sam listens to the voicemail on repeat and gets a vision where he talks to another psychic child.

Dean finds him listening to the voicemail.

Spoiler: The child he speaks to is Rosie Holt, the baby he saved from Azazel in season one! I love their interaction in this fic.

One Message left by somalester

Summary: Sam jumped into the cage, trapping Lucier and leaving a grieving Dean behind. Two months later, he's still determined to find a way to get his little brother out of hell, but slowly falling apart when he finds something in Sams old backpack and a very intersting voicemail on his little brothers phone.

Envy’s notes: Dean goes through Sam’s old phone while Sam is in the cage and finds the fake voicemail. Hurt/no comfort because Dean can’t even tell Sam it wasn’t real and that he does love his brother :(

Don't Judge a Book by Its Author by mtwin

Summary: Chuck's back at his typewriter and if the boys want to avoid his brother-kill-brother ending, they'll need to know the ins and outs of Chuck's other stories- namely, the Supernatural series. While Sam is reluctantly reading one of the more painful books, he discovers a voicemail he never received and a voicemail Dean never sent. He goes to Dean for some answers and a very old hurt finally gets some comfort.

Envy’s notes: Sam finds out about the voicemail being fake by reading the Supernatural books, Dean is a good brother and makes Sam talk about it when he tries to act like it’s nothing.

Whumptober 2020 by sammy_whammy_whumperflies (chapter 2)

Summary: Dean finds out about The Voicemail...at the worst possible moment.

Envy’s notes: Another one where Dean goes through Sam’s voicemails after Sam tricks Lucifer.

You Have One Saved Message by killabeez

Summary: A tag to episode 6.18, "Frontierland," indirectly. Sam gets a new smart phone.

Envy’s notes: Dean picks up a new phone for Sam, when the account syncs a saved voicemail shows up.

The Fight Was Fixed by angelshotgun

Summary: After that voicemail was tampered with, Sam thinks Dean is going to kill him. This is pure, self-indulgent angst followed by fluffy happiness. In short, I fixed the thing, because the show never bothered to.

Envy’s notes: Sam asks Dean to kill him like he promised he would.

[prince-of-elsinore]

happy wincest wednesday! what do you think is the wincest fic you have reread the most?

Heya z! I can actually sneak in a quick answer while it's still Wednesday (yay! 🥳); this one’s pretty easy because I don't commonly reread fics. If I liked it, I prefer to let my original impression remain untarnished, out of fear that I won't enjoy a reread as much. When I do revisit a fic, it's usually on the smuttier end of the spectrum and stuck with me because it hit the right buttons 😅

The one that comes to mind immediately is I've Got A Hand For You by the inimitable pornographer Edwardina. I'm a sucker for weecest, and the characterization in this fic is so good, not least because Sam and Dean feel like authentic teenage boys. It just hits a bunch of tropes I love and never fails to delight and thrill on a reread.

I'd be remiss, though, not to give shout-outs to two more plot-driven fics I have revisited at least once and that definitely hold up on a reread: Carry Me Over the Sky by killabeez and Two People, At Least One Orgasm by @nigeltde!

Happy Wincesting :D

[kuwdora]

January 7 - What art form would you like to try that you haven't—or, alternately, what art form have you tried that you most want to work on? -killabeez

KILLA!! What a great prompt, thank you for asking me an art question!

I spent the previous few years working on acrylic pours which has been amazing and fun and messy and a joy. but I could sense that I needed to shift gears eventually…

I’m getting back into intuitive/expressionistic painting again and some mixed media. I’m also looking forward to trying to develop some figurative drawing skills. I have not had the patience or inclination to work on my drawing skills before but I think I’ve reached the point where I really want to focus on drawing so I can do figurative abstract. Currently not very good at drawing shapes and people with any kind of intent or control. I’ve got a number of tutorials queued up for the new year. Did some practice in October and November sporadically. Have plenty of sketchbooks and even tracing paper to practice with.

I just need to put it all together and begin this new art practice and stick with it for awhile. I want to draw people, trees, plants. And cats. Been working on my doodle skills. Daily practice. Slow and purposeful.

Tools-wise I also was really fond of spray painting techniques that I tried. But I never have a good place to do that outdoors and I can't do that indoors. However I do have an air compressor and have practiced with that a little bit but I want to do more with that.

I would love do various kinds of acrylic pour galaxies with airbrush planets and nebulas, using some sponging and blending techniques too for starscapes. I had this vague idea to recreate the color palette of Star Wars planets that I kind of tried to some degree a few years ago but didn’t get too far with. It’s very cool. I just need way more practice! Here's some early practice with spray paint and later a masking attempt with a purple-y acrylic pour. The tall piece was an acrylic pour and later splattered with paint in my bath tub. Finished with a circle stencil and airbrushing for the spheres. It turns out I have to focus really hard to understand light/shadow.

I cleaned my room and hauled out a bunch of old paintings to stare at while I do some fresh warm-ups this month. I feel like I had stalled out with this kind of thing, but I think there's more I can do to express myself. Most of these I don't think have enough structure to ground the eye and whatnot, but that's why I've been staring at them off and on for a week while reviewing some inspiration videos and books. Been thinking more about color blocking and linework to help create structure.

I'm feeling adrift when it comes to sharing/posting art on various social media platforms because of the spam on Insta/Twitter (I was getting dozens of spam replies/DMs and requests for NFTs/probable theft). Not sure if to create a new sideblog or new tumblr for my art. Or if I want to rename my studio name that doesn't feel quite right anymore but I'm not ready to give up yet. Thinking about crossposting on dreamwidth/bluesky and image hosting. But really I need to keep warming my brain and brushes back up.

Anyway! Have some fresh art that I've practiced this week!

Acrylic on canvas board. Love me some quinacridone magenta on the left. The right piece has modeling paste and sand for texture. Gonna do some more layering on that.

January posting meme + claim a date - prompt me. Still writing about pretty much anything.

[ao3feed-spirk]

Dante's Prayer

read it on AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/50182972 by killabeez Kirk's most profound dark night of the soul. Words: 0, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: Star Trek: The Original Series Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: Gen, M/M Characters: James T. Kirk, Spock (Star Trek), Leonard "Bones" McCoy, Saavik (Star Trek), Nyota Uhura Relationships: James T. Kirk/Spock Additional Tags: Embedded Video, Video, Fanvids, My First Fanvid read it on AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/50182972

[tafadhali]

I posted recs of 25 of my favorite fanworks produced this year over on my DW and thought I should cross-post them here! List is arranged alphabetically by fandom and is a mix of fic and vids from 2023 (that weren't created for Festivids or Yuletide, because I always rec a lot from those challenges).

The Shipping Forecast series by leupagus (Broadchurch, Alec Hardy/Ellie Miller, 23k)

Ellie Miller and Alec Hardy, drifting together.

📺 I Wanna Be Evil by lilly_the_kid (Child’s Play | Chucky, Tiffany Valentine, fanvid)

You're sweet, my dear. Prim and proper.

beneath your weary heart by waveridden (Dimension 20, Ricky Matsui/Esther Sinclair, 10k)

It’s a comfort, having a name that is right. It is a comfort knowing that she is Sorrow and sorrow is her and they are one and the same. This is who she was meant to be. It is always who she was meant to be. And yet. (Or: Esther becomes the fury of Sorrow.)

📺 Mastermind by BeatriceEagle (Dimension 20, Brennan Lee Mulligan, fanvid)

"We support you as a DM and as our friend, but also you're our enemy." —Siobhan Thompson

Not According to Their Fanfiction series by AgentStannerShipper (Dimension 20, Evan Kelmp/K Tanaka, 63k)

Five tropes that did not live up to the fanfiction, and one that did. Spring semester at Gowpenny, a lot of feelings, and a lot of growth. Also featuring Evan's shadow (my beloved), true jock Jammer, Sam being the figurative wine aunt friend, Evan being a Good Boy, and K being exactly as horny as canon made them.

your heart, love by ASongofSixpence (Dimension 20, KP Hob/Delloso de la Rue, 8k)

Rue learns about something special that happens to goblins on All Hallows' Eve, and has big feelings about the use of the word 'monster.'

📺 After All by periru3 (Everything Everywhere All at Once, Jobu Tupaki, fanvid)

It felt like a winter machine that you go through and then / you catch your breath and winter starts again / and everyone else is spring bound

Chemistry by Twilightcitysky (Good Omens, Aziraphale/Crowley, 122k)

Aziraphale and Crowley have been living among humans for 6000 years, but there have always been parts of the human experience they've chosen to avoid (like allergies, head colds, and having to use the loo). They've also never let hormones get in the way of making rational decisions, because they didn't have any hormones to speak of. That's all about to change.

come raise your flag upon me by trinityofone (Good Omens, Aziraphale/Crowley, 5k)

Aziraphale persuades Crowley to accompany him to Heaven, to be Forgiven. Things get...weirder before they get better.

Covenant of Salt by thingswithwings (Good Omens, Aziraphale/Crowley, 18k)

Aziraphale's hand slides down past Crowley's hip to fist his cock in time with his thrusts, and he bites again, and again, down to Crowley's naked shoulder, up to his earlobe, not meaning to be sexy, just biting like he's eating, tasting the salt on Crowley's skin, like he might consume Crowley entirely if given enough time. "Talk to me," he gasps, between thrusts, between bites, his voice shaking. "No," Crowley grits out, just before he comes.

📺 Hate Me by killabeez (Interview with the Vampire, Lestat de Lioncourt/Louis de Pointe du Lac, fanvid)

“I love you with my whole soul, and I will always love you,” he confided to me. “You are my life. I have hated you for that and love you now so much that you’ve been my instructor in loving." —Blood Communion: A Tale of Prince Lestat

Bones and Blood: A Jurassic Park Survivor’s Story by avocadomoon (Jurassic Park, Billy Brennan/Alan Grant, 10k)

Billy was still staring at him. His face looked narrow and shadowed in the spotty kitchen lighting. Alan always thought about geometry when he looked at Billy: angles and rays and points and transversals. He was beautiful in the way that math was beautiful: like an equation that was beyond Alan's abilities, too complex for him to handle. But there, nonetheless. Holding all the secrets of the universe, if only Alan could figure out how to solve him.

Extended Disconnection by lick (Murderbot Diaries, Ayda Mensah, 91k)

Dr. Mensah's perspective from Chapter 8 of All Systems Red through Exit Strategy.

📺 They Don’t Care About Us by avg (Murderbot Diaries, “Human One” Refugee, animatic)

The story of a refugee.

Friday Keeps Coming Next by rattyjol (Nine Worlds, Artorin Damara & Cliopher Mdang, 38k)

Cliopher and his Radiancy break time. Again.

Embers by alfgifu (Nine Worlds, Cliopher Mdang, 126k)

A novel-length prequel to Hands of the Emperor about Kip's early years in service

A Most Restful Vacation by Quasar (Nine Worlds, Jemis Greenwing, minor pairings, 106k)

Jemis is invited to attend the investiture of the Viceroy of Zunidh, which promises to be a delightful trip with Almost No Adventures along the way.

An Officer and a Gentleman by cedarboots (Persuasion, Anne Elliot/Frederick Wentworth, 47k)

“Eight years changes a person, but not beyond all recognition. Fred Wentworth and Anne Elliot, years after a final break, find that they are more alike, in some respects, than they thought before.” (Butch4Butch AU)

first base by octothorpetopus (Sports Night, Casey McCall/Dan Rydell, 118k)

Dan Rydell was born in 1969 in Hartford, Connecticut. He came to life in Minneapolis in 1988. When he met Casey.

Sugar in Your Hand by WerewolvesAreReal (Star Trek, James T. Kirk/Spock, 13k)

Kirk meets a Vulcan, marries a Vulcan, and apparently outrages the entire Vulcan government in one day. He's an overachiever like that.

📺 Hate to Say I Told You So by findmeinthealps (Taskmaster, Alex Horne, fanvid)

Alex Horne being Alex Horne.

home is where by oliviacirce (Ted Lasso, Trent Crimm/Ted Lasso, 6k)

“Ted learns that sometimes when you ask people what they want, you (just might) get what you need.”

in the cards by jedusaur (Ted Lasso, Roy Kent/Jamie Tartt, 4k)

Whenever he says he's not feeling anything, that's when Dr. Sharon pulls out the fucking cards. Roy can't fucking stand the fucking cards. They're plain white with plain black text, each displaying the name of a different emotion, and he's supposed to go through them and decide whether he's feeling each thing or not. It's fucking stupid, it makes him feel like a fucking toddler, and worst of all, it fucking works.

Second Nature by MoreThanSlightly (Ted Lasso, Keeley Jones/Roy Kent/Jamie Tartt, 27k)

The first time they switch, Jamie’s fucking Keeley. It’s amazing, best sex of his life, and he wonders what it feels like for her—good, by the sound of it—and then a second later, he’s looking at his own face. He’s lying on his back staring up at himself. “What the fuck,” he says in Keeley’s voice.

📺 Cockroach Motherfuckers by eruthros & thingswithwings (Multifandom, fanvid)

A celebration of all the queer characters you can't bury. Or, if you do bury them, they don't stay down for long.

[treesspeaklatin]

It's spirk ficrec time! Fics with less than 400 kudos - part 2

Part 1 here ; part 3 coming soon

These things we do not speak of - Della19 (AOS)

Basically anything written by this author is the best thing you'll read today, but this one, omg, this one. I don't have the right words to describe what it did to my heart. It's a classic falling in love - introspection - pon farr fic. The author has an amazing control of their style and of the characters, and the levels of pining are astronomical. Locked on ao3, so you'll need an account to read it.

The Sea King - killabeez (TOS MIRROR)

When I found this fic I couldn't believe my eyes. It's a mirroresque Gilgamesh au, elegant, epic and bittersweet. The mix of futuristic and mythological elements is really good. Can I say Gilgamesh and Enkidu were the original t'hy'la? There, I said it. Read this if you're looking for something different and you want to be surprised.

Root Systems - Moonfishgirl (AOS)

During a stay on New Vulcan, Jim watches Spock exist inside his own culture, and in the process he discovers something about himself (spoiler: he looooves him!). Adorable fic, rich on Vulcan traditions. Read this if you are into some good Vulcan culture and ancient t'hy'la warrior bond lore.

Five times Bones and Jim forgot they were married - Goldencoalcat (AOS MCSPIRK)

This time I wanted to include some Bones/Kirk/Spock too. This fic is adorable and a good Jim character study. It explores his relationship with his family and Winona in particular, and the reasons why he has issues with being loved. Characters are spot on. Read this if you're in the mood for hurt!Jim being pampered and loved by his two husbands.

one grave too many - leafings (every universe)

Not exactly a mirror universe, but a twisted, fucked-up universe in which the crew loves Jim in a dark and obsessive way and is willing to do anything for his sake, and I mean here Enterprise rhymes with homicide. In the midst of the dark stuff, to no one's surprise, Jim and Spock also find time for their t'hy'la shit. I live for this concept.

A heart even more your own - cicia3 (TOS)

Hey, it's me. I wanted to end with this fic of mine because I really think I wrote this in some sort of mystical fit and I'll never write something this good again lol it's a Persuasion AU with some other good old Austen shenanigans. Excruciating pining + sexual tension + romance.

{reposting because the first time it went under the radar! Please give some love to fic authors and reblog this post ❤️