#kidssaythedarnedestthings

[istyles]

Me: I've been tired for 6 years. My kid: That's my age! Me: Exactly.

Featuring The Dreamer Kobo Clara 2E Skin

[bookbuddiesweb]

Why Do Deep Thoughts Only Come Up at Red Lights?

[notyourmomspodcast-blog]

Kids are hilarious. #kids #god #letters #lettertogod #children #kidssaythedarnedestthings #religious https://www.instagram.com/p/BsQdqKqBLXm/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=wak5dghmfi3t

[brokeballer]

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A post shared by Drew Anderson (@fromgumbotomumbo)

File under #kidssaythedarnedestthings . Or is it #kidssaythedarndestthings ? Leave it to me to question the spelling of a colloquialism. Shooting around with @gemalism at Park Triangle Productions for @angle_series . (at Park Triangle Productions)

[kelzdmadman]

When you get fed up of America and you want to relieve some stress, just follow these two!! KALEB & KAMERON Journey #mysons #trinidad #gerberbaby #kidssaythedarnedestthings #teamkelz

[thehollydoll]

Brayden's test correction sheet and his explanation why his original answer was wrong 😂😂😂 I mean, at least he's honest 🤷🏼‍♀️ #halfassed #halffast #kidssaythedarnedestthings #10yearsold

[aaronharrell]

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A post shared by AaronHarrell22 (@aaronharrell22)

I meant to do that… #kidssaythedarnedestthings #montanalife #hockey #ice #outsidewins #bozeman (at Southside Park)

[littlegirlspearls]

What is she dreaming of? Sparkles and gumdrops and magical stories come to life, I hope.⁠ ⁠ What are some of the sweetest imagination bombs your little sweetie has shared with you?⁠ ⁠ #kidssaythedarnedestthings #childhoodimagination #creativebabies #daydreamsandmoonbeams — view on Instagram https://ift.tt/2DavHAB

[double-d]

D tells me how birth happens

"Baby's gonna get bigger and bigger and bigger and then POP! your belly and you'll be happy and baby will be here"

[hippynanny]

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A post shared by abbiekj (@fullsnowmoon)

This kills me. Jasmine just this week started a firetruck obsession. Now everytime we are in the car it's just Jasmine saying "fuck! fuck!" f = fire, uck = truck. Fire Truck = Fuck. #inappropriate #firefighter #firemen #firetruck #toddler #kidssaythedarnedestthings (at Springfield, Missouri)

[zay-el-amar]

Today a 6 year old girl came up to me and said "sister Didi," and she stares down for 10 seconds saying nothing. Then she looked up at me in my eyes and so shyly told me I'm beautiful. My heart disintegrated within my chest I died on the spot. So precious her little cheeks😭 I know she's 6 but I've been thinking about it all day😂

[my-crazy-child-blog]

The Emper

"I tried to get his evil smile, but I just couldn't." - The artist's comment while being interviewed by his mother.

Personally, I think he did draw the evil grin pretty well. *I* like it, at least.

[misst23]

At our old house, my dad had a little work station in the corner of the basement.  There was also a little smurf picnic table down there, so while he worked on legitimate projects, I would "work" on drawings and coloring books.  (Sometimes when I look back, I feel I was that annoying kid who always followed him around and needed to be all up in the bidness with whatever he was doing.)

Truth be told, I never knew what he was doing.  Only that he would measure things and take notes and look super serious and verrrry busy. He always had a pencil in his hand. He'd periodically step back, scratch his head, put his hands on his hips and just stand there for a few seconds, considering his next move.

One day, as he readied himself for the next step of whatever project he worked on, he lost his pencil. Sitting with my smurfs and my crayons, I noticed him turning around and around, lifting up tools, sifting through the crap on the table and repeating, "my pencil.  Where is my pencil?"

He didn't find it right away, though.  As minutes ticked by he got more and more frustrated.  "Where THE HELL did I put that pencil? I lost my damn pencil."

He stewed over his own absent mindedness when I spotted the pencil, in the usual place he put it when it was not in use.

"Dad?"

"What?"

"Have you looked everywhere? Even up high?"

I pause here to ask you what kind of little jerk speaks in riddles instead of just telling people outright what they need to hear?!?!

<THIS JERK, THAT'S WHO>

"What do you mean up high? I've looked everywhere and I can't find my damn pencil."

"It's where you always put it."

<JUST TELL THE MAN YOU STUPID TWIT.>

"Nope, I don't see it."

"Ok. Well."

"Yeah?"

"Check your ear?"

He had tucked the pencil in between the top of his ear and his head.  He always had a pencil there, it seems.  He lifted his hand to his ear and found it.

"Oh, yeahhh! I see, I see. I forgot I put it up there."

I'm sure I was very congratulatory of myself for being so invaluably helpful. But seriously. 

What a dill hole.

Right from the word "GO."

(Editor's note. We moved out of that house when I was 4.  So when this incident happened, I was probably 3, maybe pushing 3 and a half.  Which tells me I was born a smart-assed little shit and locked all the traits down pretty early in life.

[ironyisalifestyle]

Let's Not Make This About Me

In honor of today's #tbt instagram, pictured above, I thought I would relive one of the few crisp memories of my childhood.

In fourth grade, gifted classes across the state of Nebraska were to take a standardized test, with the promise of medals and governor commendations for the top scorers. 

In fourth grade, this was my idea of heaven. 

[cue: commentary on my incessant need for attention slash validation]

When the test results came in, I just so happened to be spending my recess inside, chatting it up with my teacher. Like all cool kids are wont to do.

She was delighted to find that two of her students had taken top honors on the exam. 

I was more than delighted to run out to the playground to congratulate David on his second place ranking. 

David, who also happened to be the resident Nebraska State Fair moo-ing champion, was not entirely appreciative of my earnest conveyance of laudatory things:

"You just wanted everyone to know that you got first place, didn't you."

...

No, really, David. This is your moment.

Don't touch my medal.

[beanbabe]

Wow. Cooking a baby until its done takes a long time til you can eat it!

8 y/o James, in response to me saying his little bro has to cook for 9mos

[marcaquinosthoughts]

......yeah, I got nothing. 😂😂 #FunnyQuotes #KidsSayTheDarnedestThings #Halloween