#kids it's always okay to tell a bully to eat shit don't let anyone tell you otherwise
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Did Jacques Villeneuve really say "Kids are listening to you" in criticism of Daniel telling him to eat shit and backing it up with a good race when all Villeneuve's been doing all weekend is spew vitriol with literal false media about Daniel's 2015-2020 career
Kids should know it's okay to tell bullies to eat shit and it's not okay to deceive thousands of viewers out of pure ego
#f1#daniel ricciardo#jacques out there DARVO-ing like that piece of shit he is#kids it's always okay to tell a bully to eat shit don't let anyone tell you otherwise#jacques villeneuve#canadian gp 2024#my post
70 notes
·
View notes
Text
Time to have C!Techno headcannons!!!
Heyo, seems like finally I reached my 2nd favorite cc ever! I think techno's character is REALLY interesting, with great writing and details and I can definitely add some hc of my own in there, so without further ado, let's go!
(btw @syndicatedsystem you might like some of my headcannons involving Jschlatt and Techno I talk about here so yeah! Also feel free to discuss em' with me or make asks abt it, hell your blog inspires me a lot)
(I lost the name of the artist if anyone knows please tell me)
• Techno has some braids in his hair, the longer, the more he values the person
Longest: Philza, it's braided with gold details
2nd longest: Ranboo, has a amethyst crystal for purple
Mid-term: Wilbur, he braided it in consideration of a battle friend and some good times with Will, he doesn't hate or likes Wilbur, but still can't deny they do have a connection
Shortest: Tommy.
• Techno prepared a space in the cabin for Tommy in case some day, his demons and the hell he was looking for, finally was found, he'd welcome Tommy with open arms, since he'd view that the kid suffered enough and had the time to change and face any consequences he'd need to face, the space is safe, always available, but, he'd never tell Tommy that, he keeps it hidden, he's not ready to be vulnerable to the demon child again and openly say Tommy could count on him, not until Tommy makes the first step.
• Keeps the pickaxe that blinded Quackity as a trophy, this and keeps all weapons from powerful enemies with him as a reminder of a great battle he won once again
• Likes to write poetry about people and events, he'd never give them to the person, but keep it in a dusty small box in his room in the attic of the cabin
• OKAY, LET'S ALL AGREE TECHNO IS ARO/ACE? GOOD.
• Techno was friends with Jschlatt before everything went to hell, they liked to talk about random bs while watching the fire crack at night and drink some cheap booze for Jschlatt and coffee for Techno
• I view Techno also having some boar traits, so yeah territorial as FUCK don't mess with his stuff or house, also he chases pray like crazy and can eat almost anything without a problem due to that
• Doesn't CARE for alcohol, just doesn't like the idea of having a hangover afterwards since he'd be unable to fight the next day
• Would gossip with Jschlatt, Tommy and the syndicate like, ABOUT EVERYTHING, I imagine him and Jschlatt favorite hobby is shit talking people they hate
• Techno being aro/ace also means if you flirt with him, he'll just stare at your soul and bully the shit out of you, sometimes calls Phil and/or Jschlatt to roast the shit out of the person, also WILL defend himself from any creeps and defend his friends from ANY strange people since for him touch is STRICTLY a death sentence and something that takes time
• Techno smokes when stressed or in the syndicate room, making Phil always carry an extra lighter for him just in case, the 2 used to be smoking buddies before Phil quit when he adopted Chayanne and Tallulah
• Techno in the QSMP is an entity, a god watching above everyone but never leaving Phil side and the eggs side, sometimes he'd talk to Tallulah directly, or influence Phil like a voice in his head to do the right thing in his vision or appear to Chayanne in his dreams to have a chat
• Can and will drink blood from the enemies
• Loves to talk about skulls and anatomy of the body in general, a dark fact, due to respect to Jschlatt, after he died (not considering revival, I view revival as either the decomposed body coming back to life in a LESS but STILL fucked up state or a kind of new body that is the users body in the afterlife coming to the alive realm, if you guys want, I can make a post about this) picked and kept Jschlatt sheep skull, with horns and everything
(art by sadist)
• Would talk about historical wars and battles with his own analysis and commentaries on it, making a great history teacher
• totally collects greek mythology stuff, books, items, anything.
• Has a couple of tattoos but one that is pretty badass is a wither skull with red smoke on his ribs in the right, a tattoo of a emerald in the inside of his left wrist, a tattoo of a squid with a fork on it's head in reference to the potato war on his right wrist really tiny and "everything starts with blood" and "the voices demand blood" written in his tights
• My boy 100% has piercings due to piglin culture, around 75% of them being made of gold
#Spotify#silly#headcannons#mcyt#dsmp#emerald duo#technoblade#Technoblade headcannons#c!techno#dsmp syndicate#dsmp headcanon#wither duo#blood god
59 notes
·
View notes
Text
Mdzs Mafia AU in wei wuxian pov
So the Story goes Like This WWX got pregnant with LSZ after graduating college in the graduating party WWX get drunk and LWJ also got drunk so they both got in a room in papapapa and in the morning WWX woke up sew the very very handsome LWJ of course she realized shit did I get drunk WWX realize what it was stupid situation she got her self in so she remember that LWJ like her since childhood always avoiding her so she said well guess I have to run before he wakes up but she was underwear LWJ was already awaken he pretend to sleep so It's well be less awkward so WWX get dressed quick and run but after she leave LWJ wait a minute mother always say take responsibility if you're responsible for it so he immediately woke up and tried to catch up to WWX and saw that she was nowhere to be found he fought right she's very skilled in hiding bc she was an assassin one of deadliest one after 2 weeks WWX been feeling unwell been eating so much and always puking so she decided to take a pregnancy test it's coming out positive ofc WWX not very scared and knew if LWJ found out WWX was pregnant with his baby ( LSZ) he was surely killed her and the baby ( LSZ ) He was known as the second deadly Jade killed without Mercy every time somebody look at his deadly golden eyes there see a demon a monster from hell the mafia knew he was very dangerous and did not hesitate to kill anyone so WWX decided I have to run away so she pack her bags and took a plane ticket to American after 3 years she decided to go to China secretly with her baby ( LSZ ) but one of WWX enemies saw her and after 7 years of locking her in the cell torching her they killed her barely but after that decided to brainwash her son( LSZ ) decided to use him and tell him that his father was the one that killed his mother so WWX goes back in time to the day she told LSZ they were going to China but she was in deep thought thinking should I can still go to China but then LSZ come in and crying saying mom mommy WWX was confused and worried and said a yuan what happened she can't believe she was see her baby( LSZ ) after a long time she know if she acts weird something what happened so she pretend to be normal then LSZ said mommy I had a very very bad dream it's was really bad WWX said tell me what happened lsz said in my dream mommy die he said crying WWX was shocked because LSZ never had a nightmare before she said a yuan my baby I will never die as she said that smile LSZ looked a bit better so WWX okay we're going to China she said in her thoughts I will get revenge then I think I should take on the family business so WWX said my baby I have great news we are going to China LSZ said no I don't want to go to China WWX said why LSZ said it because the kids in the daycare bully me and tell me stupid questions and I don't understand and they tell me your food is weird WWX after hearing this said WHAT WHO DARE TO BULLY MY MY BABY THOSE IDIOTS she thinks in her head LITTLE ASSHOLE HOW DARE THEY BULLY MY BABY I WELL TEACH THEIR PARENTS AND THOSE KIDS A LESSON WWX SAID A YUAN TOMORROW WHEN WE ARE GOING TO THE DAYCARE I WANT TO PUNCH THEM OK LSZ said ok LSZ asked mommy when are we going to China WWX said in a week WWX looked at the time and sew it's was 11:00 AM WWX SAID a yuan it's very late how about we go to bed WWX go to her room and sew her old stuff she lay down on her bed then LSZ come in the room and said mommy can I sleep with you my very very bad dream me scared and before LSZ could finish WWX said come here my baby let mommy tell you a bedtime stories for you LSZ immediately run and climb on her bed WWX said I used to be very smart young beautiful and everything was perfect but I was missing something but then I found that I was going to have you I was so excited after you were born finally click you were missing in my life but mommy LSZ said you are still beautiful mommy is the most beautiful in the entire universe WWX said oh if I am the most beautiful that makes you much more beautiful than me
#mdzs#mo dao zu shi#mdzs fic#wei wuixan#lan shiuzi#lan wangji#fem wei wuxian#mommy wei ying#baby a yuan
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
I Don’t Ship These Two. You Have No Proof. *Reaction Compilation Part 1*
(Oh really Golden?)
Ninja dude. And... other dude.
(Man is a gender bent Marinette.)
...when was this released?
Four months after the TD Reboot.
Well this is a remake of a beta, so... yeah. Total Drama said "We're gonna add queer characters to the cast. FIRST queer characters." And this show said "Am I a joke to you?"
I'm gonna call it though, that's gonna go horribly wrong. You date a ninja, you're ASKING for pain. I've watched Ninjago.
(Called it even at the very beginning)
That boy has my thoughts exactly!
***
"I want to talk to her but she scares me a little."
What did she do to you?
"She reminds me a little of my grandmother. How she walks, how she talks... I miss her."
"She's been sick for months and she can't have visitors."
Oh my god...
Is that why he's competing? Medical bills to help her?
Well geez, keep that up and I might actually root for you to win.
"Yeah, she was often cranky, but she was the only one that really understood me."
You on the spectrum?
"Jake... I don't know what to say, but if you need to talk to someone, I'm always here."
D'aaaaawwww 💗
That face.
He was eyeing Tom all of last episode too and I just didn't bring it up.
(👀)
YOU ARE NOT SUBTLE, SIR
***
"I'm really curious what you look like without it."
...
EXCUSE ME?!?! O_O
BOY. YOU JUST MET.
***
THOSE FISH DON'T LOOK SAFE TO EAT
Tom's like "That's funny, all my teammates suddenly died of poison. Oh well, guess I'm in the merge!"
I mean he's a sus ninja hiding shit, he could be a serial killer.
***
"Whatever happened to minding your own business?!"
Okay chill! He was trying to be nice to you!
Come on, he's been a very sweet guy so far and is giving you all a chance. What's there to snap about?
We'll see how well that statement ages. (Thanks for making me paranoid Caleb)
(SPOILERS, IT AGED TERRIBLY)
Plot twist: Jake and Tom are both secretly evil. Tom is a serial killer. Jake was a prominent bully back in high school.
***
"I feel bad for letting the team down..."
"I wish I could do it, but, it's just... hits too close to home."
OH... HONEY.
"I lost my grandfather when I was a kid and I always went with my mom to visit him and leave flowers. That place caused me a lot of anxiety. Now my grandmother's sick and I know it's only a matter of time before... you know..."
My gosh...
Alright. This guy is my best boy for this show.
He got me way too invested in his story.
(AND I STAYED A JAKE STAN THROUGHT THE ENTIRETY OF THE SEASON)
***
"He knew things I didn't want anyone to know."
"I just can't tell anyone about my hobbies, okay?!"
"As long as Grett doesn't tell either of them I should be fine."
Hey Grett. Maybe you should tell Jake something. Just a thought.
...
WAIT I SAID THAT AS A JOKE, HOLD ON-
"For some reason I have the urge to tell Jake something. Huh, wonder who this Golden Voice is."
(You can blame me)
***
"Someone here has been watching you."
"Two people actually. The first is me because I'm currently stalking you. The second is that fruity boy."
***
Oooh, swimming episode!
Tom is STILL in his suit XD
(Jake) "Hey uh, Tom, the sun can't reach you if you're underwater. I don't think you need to be wearing that. You don't want to get your normal clothes wet, right?"
(Tom) "Eh I never found use for a swimsuit anyway! Besides! The sun will dry them up quickly!"
(Jake) "Doesn't that go against what you told us earlier?!"
(Tom) "My relationship with the sun does not concern you! No it's not toxic what are you talking about?!"
But he's not wearing the hoodie anymore! That's an improvement!
I feel like we're gonna get a Tom face reveal at some point, right?
(FORESHADOWING)
***
"I'm already tired of always eating fish."
Yeah, that has to get tedious after awhile, especially if you guys are THAT hungry and have no choice.
I hate seafood. I wouldn't survive.
"What are you craving?"
"Chinese takeout. I always order that at home."
My sibling actually loves Chinese as well... I'm a Mexican person, though.
"There's a restaurant I live near that'll knock your socks off. We should go when this is over."
TOM. Are you... ASKING HIM OUT?!
"Hey, your eyes... they're pretty. I never noticed since you've always got that hood on."
AWWW AND THE RETURNED FLIRT?!
THE BLUSH, OMG
...yeah I kinda hope you kiss now.
This is how you make relationships Total Drama. You meet. You get along. And you be cute.
And I am waiting for this to go horribly wrong cause in shows like this, nobody gets a happy ending.
Except Mike & Zoey I guess.
(WELL THIS AGED POORLY, DIDN'T IT?)
***
Why is Jake the only one cheering and supporting his teammate?
(Because he's a twink in love)
This boy is precious. Look at him. He's PRECIOUS.
***
OMG THE PHONE! I FORGOT
PLEEEAAASSEE tell me they take advantage of this!
ALSO, not even a second into the episode and I already caught the fruity boy staring at a certain someone.
***
Go call your grandma Jake. Tell her how you love her and you're gonna help her with the money.
Maybe this one will be a bit wholesome.
"Hey Shawn!"
"Hey... Jake..."
...
What...?
"What's up? Is everything alright?"
"I'm sorry..."
*I covered my mouth to hold back a gasp*
"A couple of days ago... grandma passed away..."
OH MY GOD NOOOOOOO
*I'm actually upset for him*
Oh my god...
OH MY GOD HE'S CRYING. OH MY GOD.
"Mom told me not to tell you till you came back... but I had to..."
He's still going. Oh my god...
"You're lying..."
"She was conscious for a few hours before she got worse..."
JUST STOP. JUST STOP TALKING.
"She wrote a letter... I'll give it to you when you get back... I'm sorry man..."
JAKE, I'M SO SORRY. THAT'S AWFUL!!
I'm actually hurt as well!
AND THEN TOM COMFORTS HIM?!??! AWWWWW 😢
I thought he was here to help her! I didn't think she was gonna die before he can even get back! That's horrible!
YOU ALL BETTER GIVE HIM VIRTUAL HUGS.
***
"Teal Team I hope you enjoyed your call home!"
BRUH. NO. DON'T EVEN.
(Tom looking at him)
(They're ALWAYS looking at each other)
***
"I don't think Jake's in the mood to run around looking for ingredients."
Thank you Tom. Thank you for being so supportive of him and understanding his situation.
(We love kind and considerate boyfriends)
***
"Jake, how are you? Do you feel better?"
He might still be mourning. Idk what his mental state is after that.
AWWWWWWWWW💗
Now I'm actually giddy. What is wrong with me?! Why are they so great?
(I DON'T SHIP THEM)
Going in, I was expecting Toxic Yaoi just cause of Tom's spy shit, but they're actually so sweet and wholesome and good for each other.
(SOMEONE IN THE WRITERS ROOM FORESAW ME SAYING THIS AND SAID "WANNA BET?")
"I'm here if you need anything."
I can't imagine how it's like for Tom. I don't think he was imagining getting close with someone just cause of the spy profession.
"I like this boy, I want to be around him and help him out."
(And also date and kiss and cuddle with, you know, normal friend stuff)
"Now don't worry about getting us breakfast today, I will get us the usual."
Idk how I like the sound of that tbh. XD
I just imagine Tom coming back and calling everyone to the meal. "BREAKFAST IS READY!!!"
...and it's just char XD
That also implies they work together to prepare meals for the group EVERY DAY. I love that.
(It is my firm head canon that Tom is a SHIT cook)
(Jake is the cook of the two. Tell me I'm wrong.)
No not Grett changing her facial expression from that!
"I smell gay! I didn't ask for that in my coffee this morning!"
(Best girl Grett is homophobic)
***
"Do you like him?"
*Covers mouth to hold back the giddy noise from my mouth*
*Failing*
(I DON'T SHIP THEM)
Oh my god she's actually going there! I did not expect that.
"Uh... maybe. He's just really good as a person towards me and I feel like we're really opening up to each other, you know? It's not that deep... maybe we'd go out for Chinese sometime. Maybe we'd catch a movie together."
"Tom, do you like him?"
"Uh, no?"
Huh?
You're lying. You gotta be lying.
"You always smile when you're talking to him."
"It's just... I like him, but not in that way."
Liar. Your scenes together say otherwise.
(I DO NOT SHIP THEM. AND MY REACTIONS DON'T SUGGEST OTHERWISE IN THE SLIGHTEST.)
"I'm not ready to be in a relationship."
Oh...
Oh is that what it's about... yeah I would understand that.
"Recently... I was in a somewhat toxic relationship and things didn't end well."
OH.
Oh now that makes a lot of sense.
Was it SOMEWHAT toxic, or...?
I'm probably thinking too angsty about it.
"He cheated on me. And... I couldn't get over it."
OH MY GOD HONEY.
Well no shit you wouldn't get over that. That's awful!
Why did he do that?! Why would he want to hurt you like that?!
(Then again everyone wants to hurt Jake, soooooo...)
"Well you're young, unlike me, you still have a lot of time ahead of you."
Yeah... you can find someone better.
Oh shit, Grett...
OH WAIT CAUSE SHE KNOWS TOM IS A SPY, SHE SAW THE NOTES. OH MY GOD I KNOW WHAT SHE'S GONNA DO.
And because of Jake's past experience, he is NOT gonna take it well!
OH NO...
(And so it begins)
***
He really is not subtle, is he?
"I don't want to be in a relationship or push it further, but I didn't say I can't crush!"
Tom's like "Why you pressing your hands like that?"
"I'm a wittle scawed of the bullets..."
***
Oh shit here we go...
"Golden told be awhile back to tell you something very important!"
"Hey Grett. Maybe you should tell Jake something. Just a thought.
...
WAIT I SAID THAT AS A JOKE, HOLD ON-
"For some reason I have the urge to tell Jake something. Huh, wonder who this Golden Voice is.""
DAMMIT ME, I TOLD HER TO SLAY. I DIDN'T SPECIFY WHO TO SLAY.
SLAY PASS MISFIRE
(It's MY fault the ship sank)
"Tom was lying to you. It was Tom who voted for Drew."
Ooooooohhhh god...
I'm like preparing myself for the blowout.
"Because Drew found out his little secret."
"What secret?"
"The whole sun sensitivity story is fake. He lied to you because he's a spy."
*DREAD*
"What are you talking about? Is this a joke?"
*DREAD*
"He's here for work. You mean nothing to him other than a way to blend in more."
*DREAD*
"Come on Jake, Grett has clearly lost it."
IT HURTS BECAUSE SHE'S TELLING THE TRUTH
I'm CONFLICTED. Not my best girls HURTING my best boy!!
What do I do? Do I support her...? I don't know...
OH NO HE'S BACK.... UGH...
At least it's earlier in the season so they have a chance to bounce back... I don't... I don't know...
This is gonna be so ugly. Jake is gonna be HURT.
"I get hurt and traumatized by my ex! I lose my grandma! AND NOW THIS SHIT. I CAN'T CATCH A BREAK!"
(Stop Making Jake Suffer Challenge. Level: IMPOSSIBLE)
"Tom! You're not gonna believe this!"
"Believe what?"
"Grett was saying the strangest things about you!"
"Wh-what did she say?"
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMHHHHH *mouth covered*
"She said you were the one who voted Drew because, get this, he found out you were a spy?!"
NO TOM YOU CAN'T ACT?!?!
I mean I don't think he should lie any further, but...
(You are the worst spy ever)
"I can explain!! It's not what you think!!!"
"Wait what? It's true?!"
"It's not that simple!"
Just hear him out! I can explain EVERYTHING! I know you're upset, but please hear me out!
"Oh my god... it really is! So you're just here for your job!"
"And our friendship, was that just to blend in too?! Did you ever care about me at all?! Was any of it real, HUH?!"
JAKE, HONEY, I'M SO SORRY.
I know you being upset is understandable! It still hurts!
I can imagine what's going through his head though. His loved ones have a habit of either dying or lying to him and hurting him, and now turns out his new crush is a spy?
"Jake, calm down-"
"DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!"
OH GOD
"I don't owe you anything! It's my life! Step off, Jake!"
DON'T BE LIKE THAT, YOU'RE ALREADY OUTTED!
"Oh EXCUSE ME if I don't want to be part of your 'super cool' spy plan!"
"Can you stop telling the whole goddamn neighborhood?!"
OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH GOOOOOOOOOODDDDD!!!!
And they got shot...
Oh my god, I need a minute to CALM DOWN.
Was that... I mean I know that was a Tom liar reveal, but was that a Jake true personality reveal?!
Is he an asshole?!
Goddammit, he IS an asshole, isn't he? I WAS ROUTING FOR YOU.
(Remember when Jake was just the shy and sweet precious bean cinnamon roll crushing on a guy and the only thing he ever did wrong was kick someone in the nuts? I miss those days)
I'm calming down, I'm calming down...
Tom and Jake are gonna drive me FUCKING. CRAZY.
***
They're STILL pissed.
Miriam is gonna come to me like, "Golden, you're having Toxic Yaoi for dinner tonight."
(I am, indeed, eating Toxic Yaoi and somehow enjoy it. I might be high.)
***
"I don't know if I can trust Tom after betraying the guys alliance..."
FUCK YOUR GUYS ALLIANCE.
THAT'S ALL YOU TALK ABOUT.
And besides, it's screwed.
Tom and Jake divorced.
"I'M STILL ANGRY AT YOU! WHY DO I KEEP LIKING PEOPLE WHO HURT ME?!"
(Jake, word of advice, your problem is that you have a bad taste in men. Too much toxic yaoi ain't good for the heart.)
***
XD
DEAR GOD JAKE.
"THIS IS MY DIVORCE PAPER!"
Dammit, why'd he have to be an asshole, huh?
***
'JAKE'
XD
NO SHOT THEY BOTH THREW JUST CAUSE THEY WERE SO PISSED WITH EACH OTHER
XD
"AND NOW YOU VOTE FOR ME?! WHAT'D YOU SAY TO ME?!"
(They both signed divorce papers)
(And later, despite Tom having voted Jake before, he gets pissed when Jake votes Tom. I smell hypocrisy.)
***
OH NO HE POSTED IT?!?!?!
OH THAT'S BAD...
Oh god, that's gonna be bad for Tom's mission, isn't it? Whatever it is he's doing.
I mean lets be honest though... that post isn't Jake's fault. How's he supposed to know that would happen?
NOT ME DEFENDING JAKE AFTER THAT-
(Actually, YEAH, now that I think about it. HOW is Tom getting fired Jake's fault exactly? They're on LIVE TV. And Grett already said the S word aloud before Jake ever did. So TECHNICALLY that's Grett's fault Tom got fired. Not Jake's.)
Ugh... I had a gut feeling though, cause I saw people HATING Jake's character and calling him the worst.
HE'S AN ASSHOLE, NOOOOOOO...
Okay, BUT, I don't hate him. Surprisingly enough.
I'm actually intrigued by his character a lot more now.
I thought he was gonna be the precious bean. The sweetest character. But no, he's petty and impulsive.
I HAVE to give credit though, this is NOT something that came out of nowhere for me. He did snap at Nick in Episode 4 for stubbing his toe, and they established this episode more of Jake's past to add more context to his POV.
So he was in a toxic relationship before and got betrayed by it. That makes perfect sense to me. I understand why he'd be pissed. Tom lied to him.
But he DEFINATELY overreacted towards it. It's one thing to yell at the heat of the moment, it's another to vote for him just because you're pissed.
So, yeah, I'm not excusing his behavior, I'm just understanding WHY.
"OH NO! A character is revealed to have FLAWS. And said flaws made things worse for other people! Well clearly I hate them now!!"
I'm not doing that.
I'm just not that kinda person in how I view media. I don't hate characters just because they have flaws. When you're watching Total Drama, you gotta have that mindset too. Cause in that show, there's A LOT of characters that do screwed up things and it's wrong. So I'm used to it.
If anything, I guess Jake being revealed to have negative traits makes him a lot more interesting now. Cause yeah, I've been there. It sucks. Well, I wasn't in a toxic romantic relationship, but a toxic friendship when I was younger. It lasted for years so it left me pretty distasteful to the people around me and everyone hated me for... acting like Jake did here, honestly. How bout that?
Him and Tom are gonna BREAK ME, I can tell.
(CORRECT)
At least the lie is outed earlier in the season, so it's not as bad as it could've been...?
Like, it would've been a lot uglier later and it resulted in one of them getting voted off.
(FORESHADOWING)
But at least they can work this out, right? Cool off, come clean, and repair the damage. Then go out for Chinese Food and hang out by the lake. Everything will be fine. They'll get their Chinese date. IT'LL ALL BE FINE.
...god, looks like I'm having Toxic Yaoi for dinner tonight.
(YES. YES I AM. I'M IN DENIAL.)
I DON'T SHIP THEM AND YOU HAVE NO PROOF
Continued In Part 2 Of The Lack Of Proof>>
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
Day 1 - 8/23/2023
Hi Tumblr!
I had one of you in high school but deleted it after college. I decided to make another just so I have a place to rant and vent about things that make me sad or angry or just things in general. I do journal but I'd like to use it for more positive things and manifestations or whatever. I turned on all the privacy settings so hopefully no one finds this. lmfao. I know all posts are public but I don't really know anyone in my life that has Tumblr anymore. I kind of just needed a place to fucking vent or rant. Today's Kobe's birthday so I'm trying not to be so angry today. (lol, sorry Kobe.) Okay so here goes. I just needed a way to let out my frustrations and so I was like why not Tumblr? I'd mainly be talking about my health and probably my frustrations with life in general.
Growing up, I've always been a big ass kid and you can tell and it showed in my pictures. Been bullied a lot for it from everybody including family. Had a kid threw a rock at me when I was little and said he hated fat people. My parents took me to a weight loss doctor where I cried my eyes out. I guess I always sought food out for comfort. I'm also an only child. I've always wanted to try and better my health but didn't know how, didn't really have the resources or money, and I was constantly surrounded by food. I kind of wish my parents had let me figure out how to do it on my own. I turned into this person with low self esteem, low confidence, hating what I looked like everyday, hanging out with my skinny friends back then was torture for me because I was constantly comparing myself to them (I know they loved me, wished I loved myself as much as they loved me). I hated that I fixated on the way I looked but hey that's what society has programmed us to do. It's easy to be like love yourself blah blah when you're not in the position of constant self hatred. I've tried calorie counting, diets, seeing a nutritionist (which helped a little only to later realized that it wasn't sustainable for me and I developed an eating disorder.) Although I'm pretty sure I've had an eating disorder ever since I was little and now I feel like shit every time I eat food or get scared to eat. I think the only person who I really saw results with and was sustainable was my personal trainer. (Shoutout Michael!) Hopefully, I can come back once I find a job again. (Can someone please fawking hire me already?)
So yeah going on a tangent, apologies! I started running when lockdown hit and I loved it but I also developed hammer toes and it hurt so much to walk and wear shoes. I went to a podiatrist and they were like get orthopedics and I was like okay but they were so expensive even with health insurance and I'm like okay well fuck this so I got surgery and I was so fucking miserable. lmao. I couldn't do anything and didn't leave my bad. It hurt so much to eat that I lost so much weight and I got so sad like crying for days. I realized I needed help if I didn't want k*ll myself so I called the hotline at midnight and it was nice actually. I've heard bad stories but thankfully the person I talked to listened to what I had to say and he brought up the Dodgers. lmao. And he was like maybe I'll see you at a Dodgers' game. I hit up a therapist the next day, a week later hit up a psychiatrist and was prescribed sertraline. (An antidepressant). The weight loss was crazy because I've never been that thin and I wasn't sure how to feel because it was deadass depression weight loss. I was happy with the weight loss but sad about how I lost it. I had so much loose skin that I also decided to do a tummy tuck, skin removal and thigh lift surgery and the recovery was such a pain in the ass but I felt so good and clothes actually fit. I should have probably waited till the next year because I took so much antibiotics that I found out I have leaky gut so I have to stay away from gluten, diary and processed sugar for the time being. (Hopefully cause my gawd I miss eating bread.) I have so much bloating, inflammation, joint pain, brain fog, acne breakouts, tingling sensations, pain on my sides and the list can go on. I went to my primary care doctors and a neurologist and they didn't really help much. Finally went to a holistic doctor and she figured out what was wrong with me and I know it's going to take awhile for everything to heal but I just want to stop feeling like this. (I also had surgery in 2013 to get an ovarian cyst removed and I didn't know I had it because everyone called me fat and they told me the cyst was making me bloated as shit.) I'm trying not to be resentful and look at the past but it's hard because there's so much trauma. Felt like my family didn't love me if I wasn't skinny.
My therapist said I should stop blaming myself but I can't help it. I know things are going to get better and I'm doing my part and putting in my best effort to heal and follow the treatment plan. I know I'm being impatient but for once in my life, I just want to be healthy again and enjoy food without being scared to eat it. Luckily, a healed gut is attainable so I need to keep fighting for it. I know it's going to be worth it in the end. I'm also paying so fucking much for this holistic doctor like I better have the strongest gut in the world and lose 100 pounds so that when I turn to the side no one can see me.
I am also in a lot of credit card debt and I know I'll pay it off once someone hires me but the job market is so fucking hard right now. Probably need to sell feet pics or find a sugar daddy to afford my lifestyle. (lmao jk, kind of) The way I applied to so many jobs the past week and a half is crazy. Just have to trust the Universe and believe and manifest.
Right now, I just really want to focus on healing my gut so I can eat yummy things again, getting a new full time job with higher pay and being surrounded by my loved ones. One of those things where I so badly want things to get better and it feels like no matter how hard I try, things seem to be moving slow. But they're moving, I guess? lmao.
I just want the best for me and it's going to happen because I deserve it and I said so and what I say goes. I hope you try your best to love yourself through this process and to know that things are going to be so amazing for you that you're going to wonder why you felt like this. The setback is stronger than the comeback. Remember that.
And one more time, Happy Birthday, Kobe. I miss and love you 24/8. <3
1 note
·
View note
Text
WHAT'S GOING ON? THIS IS PART TWO OF ME RIPPING APART DHAR MANN'S VIDEOS ABOUT FATPHOBIA! Whoo-hoo!
Before I get started, here's an obligatory trigger warning: This post will be talking about fatphobia, bullying, homelessness, mentioned ED, fat shaming, shaming a person FOR EATING, and the abused thanking his abuser AS AN ADULT for tormenting him as a young, impressionable teenage boy.
If any of that is triggering, upsetting, or makes you uncomfortable in any way, you don't have to read this post. Please consume media that sparks joy for you.
This time, there won't be a response from me about this video, like I usually do with all my Dhar Mann posts. If you want to see my response, refer to my first post about fatphobia (the one about the plus-size woman being fat shamed). It does tie in with this post, as my thoughts on this video are the exact same here. Yes, even though this is about a (at the time) plus-size black teenage boy being targeted. Search for the "dhar mann talk" tag and it's one of the most recent posts. I don't believe anyone should be shamed for their weight. Your weight doesn't hold any significance to your worth as a person. Don't let anything or anyone tell you otherwise.
With all of that out of the way, let's get to the video!
To sum up the video, it starts out with a plus-size black teenage boy (Kurt or "Big Boy", as he's called almost throughout the entire video) who's on a basketball court at school with his friend (Mike), a few other teenage boys, and Mike's uncle (Frank) is their coach. Mike is the captain on one team, Frank is the captain on the other team. They're picking teammates, and everyone is on a team except for Kurt and another boy. Frank says to his nephew to not pick Kurt (he called him "Big Boy" instead) because "he'd never win with him". LIKE THEY WERE PLAYING FOR THE NBA. CALM YOUR DICK. HOLY FUCKING HELL. THEY'RE KIDS.
Mike, not listening to his uncle (good for him), picks Kurt anyway. Kurt is happy and thanks his friend for picking him. Mike gives Kurt a shirt that looks at least a couple sizes too small for him and would be pretty uncomfortable to wear. This isn't Mike's fault, obviously. Kurt politely asks if they had a bigger shirt. Obviously not an unreasonable request. They're playing a sport that requires lots of movement (honestly, pretty much any sport would apply here, except for maybe golf or cricket) so it's understandable to want to at least be comfortable and have room to move around. Frank mocks A LITERAL TEENAGER with the whole "You think you're shopping at Big&Tall?" line and then says that's the only size they had (why couldn't they supply inclusive sizes in the first place, or at least ASK Kurt what his size was IN ADVANCE?), which....umm, I'm actually GLAD plus-size clothing for men (Big&Tall, in this case) is more readily available and accessible now. I'm happy plus-size clothing in GENERAL is like that now.
Mike comforts Kurt and says the shirt might fit. The shirt does KIND OF fit Kurt, but it's obvious he's uncomfortable. Look at this screenshot here:
Frank laughs at Kurt, says he looks like Barney The Dinosaur, and the other kids laugh along with their coach. This is NOT setting a good example for children, Frank. You're a fucking teacher. You're a COACH. You're supposed to be teaching these kids about sports and shit. You're supposed to be setting a good example for these kids about teamwork and sportsmanship. WHAT YOU'RE DOING TO A TEENAGE BOY, WHO IS MOST LIKELY ONE OF YOUR STUDENTS, IS TEACHING NONE OF THOSE THINGS. You're teaching these kids that bullying their peers for things they can't help having is okay. Do better. (I'd say that he's an adult and should act like one, but I'm an adult and I barely act like one a lot of the time, so that'd make me a hypocrite.)
While I may be fortunate to have had a physical education teacher who never bashed on me or shamed me for my weight and she would cheer me on for whatever amount of effort I made the first and only year I had actual P.E., I know that many other kids who are plus-size most likely has/had horrible P.E. teachers or coaches like Frank.
To anyone who has/had a teacher or coach like Frank, I'm so sorry, kiddos. You don't deserve to be bullied by your own teachers. I wish I could give all of you a hug, but I can give y'all virtual hugs instead! *virtual hugs* /p
So they play a game of basketball, and Kurt is struggling to fully play because the shirt he was given was probably cutting off some circulation, especially in his arms (again, do I need to reiterate that this was NOT Mike's fault and is FRANK'S fault for his ignorance and negligence). Frank mocks his nephew Mike by saying that he told him not to pick Kurt. Why? Because according to him, Kurt will never make anything of himself in life due to him being fat. (AGAIN, THIS IS NOT TRUE.)
Then it cuts to Kurt sitting with Mike, who's working on his car and Kurt's working on his own thing. Mike says he believes one day he'll own a nice, brand new Cadillac. Kurt is very supportive and cheers his friend on. He says that he believes he'll be one of the biggest radio show hosts and has a title for it called "Big Boy's Neighborhood". Both of them are hyping each other up. Love to see men supporting men. Mike pulls out his Walkman (they were HUGE back in the 80s and 90s because you could listen to the radio from anywhere, I have a Sony Walkman mp3 player, but it's a newer model), and Kurt says that he's always wanted one but couldn't afford it. (I'll go into why in a second.)
Frank comes over to reprimand Mike, who has done NOTHING WRONG, for talking to Kurt. Instead of working, which Mike WAS actually doing. He tries to tell his uncle this, but he wasn't having it. Frank then reprimands Kurt, who also has done NOTHING WRONG, for just sitting and apparently "distracting Mike" (he wasn't). He asks if there's any work he was supposed to do. Kurt FINALLY stands up to Frank in a polite, mature manner. He says that just because he wasn't working with his hands, it didn't mean he wasn't working. Frank ridicules Kurt some more, Mike tells his uncle to leave his friend alone, and Kurt stands up to Frank AGAIN, still being polite and mature. UNLIKE THE ACTUAL ADULT ACTING LIKE A CLICHÉ MIDDLE SCHOOL BULLY WHO PROBABLY PEAKED IN HIGH SCHOOL. How fucking ironic.
What does Frank do in response to Kurt standing up to him? INSULTS THE KID SOME MORE. He tells Kurt that he must have "pig fat for brains" (which is not only insulting to Kurt, but also insulting to pigs, because pigs are intelligent animals), takes his small bag of Doritos, and says that he "doesn't need to be eating anything." He eats Kurt's Doritos IN FRONT OF HIM, tells Mike to quit letting his friend make him lazy (he wasn't doing that at all), and to get back to work.
THAT line made me livid. I've actually thought that I didn't deserve to eat anything because I'm plus-size as a teenager, and into my adulthood at a few points in my life. NEVER say that someone doesn't need to be eating anything. (Obviously except for poisonous things, inedible objects, and things that could and will kill them.) You could cause them to develop an ED, or trigger an ED if they already have one. THAT'S NOT A GOOD THING. EDs are no joke. Whether it be starving, purging, or binge eating, none of them are fun to have and/or to deal with. Even if they DON'T develop an ED, their relationship with food will be all sorts of fucky-wucky. Some even for the rest of their lives. Unless you get proper treatment, of course.
When Frank leaves, Kurt is obviously upset. Rightfully so. How he's feeling is justified. Mike comforts him and says to not let Frank get to him. Mike offers to take Kurt home, but then realizes that his friend and his mom got evicted and are homeless. (This is why Kurt couldn't afford to buy a Walkman.) Kurt, still distraught, says that he'll just walk. Mike invites him over for dinner and that he'd drop him off after, which Kurt agrees to.
They're at Mike's house, having dinner, and Mike's parents are talking to Kurt. They're being supportive. Frank walks in to have his sister's cooking. He sees that Kurt's there. Mike's parents introduce Frank to Kurt, tells him Kurt's gonna be on the radio one day, Frank laughs and says Kurt's not gonna be anything. Kurt brushes it off. He says that his mom says that he can achieve whatever he wants (which is true, to a reasonable extent), Frank cuts him off and says his mom was lying to him, and that his mom knows he's gonna be a big loser.
Mike's dad tells Frank to leave Kurt alone. Mike's mom also says the same thing. Frank asks Kurt if his mom doesn't feed him at home, and what he was doing "eating up all their food" (he wasn't; he just had a singular plate). Mike and his mom tell Frank to stop. His mom explains that they invited Kurt over for dinner, and she tells her brother to sit down and eat. Frank then asks Kurt again if his mom doesn't feed him at home. Mike tells Frank that Kurt and his mom don't have a home because they just got evicted, which is a shock to the parents. Instead of having sympathy for a teenage boy who was on the streets with his mom, HE MOCKS HIM. WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT? Especially to a teenage boy who didn't do anything whatsoever to deserve being evicted from his home and be out on the streets with his mom. I've dealt with being evicted. I've dealt with homelessness. Out of no fault of my own. It's not funny, cool, glamorous, or anything like that. It's terrifying. I'm still traumatized by that experience and it happened four years ago. Sometimes I have nightmares about that kind of thing. The very possibility of becoming homeless and going through that again scares the shit out of me. The thought of it is so triggering for me that I will resort to reverting back to things I used to do when I was a kid. It also doesn't help that I will NEVER be able to afford an apartment on my own where I live now and will probably have to rely on at least two or three roommates and/or family to get by. Thanks a lot, Boomers.
I would never wish what I went through on anyone. Anyways, back to the whole summary of the video.
Kurt gets up and leaves the table. Mike tries to go after his friend to make sure he was okay, but Frank stops his nephew. ONLY WHEN KURT LEAVES DOES FRANK ALL NONCHALANTLY SAY THAT HE'S STARVING AND THAT THEY SHOULD ALL EAT. Despite Frank making Kurt as well as his (Frank's) own family upset.
Kurt walks to where his mom is. His mom notices that he's upset. Kurt tells his mom that it's because of Frank. His mom comforts him and gives him the advice that she gave him before. Kurt is still obviously too upset to take anything she's telling him, bringing up that they're homeless and broke, and his mom is desperate to help comfort her son. She gives him his birthday present early, which happens to be a Walkman. Kurt is shocked. He thought they didn't have that kind of money. His mom says not to worry about that. She pokes some lighthearted fun at her son, he thanks her, and he asks her a question. He asks if she believes he'll be successful or if she's saying that to make him feel better. She asks if he believes he'll be successful (yep), and he tells her that when he succeeds, he'll buy them a house so they don't have to be homeless anymore or worry about getting evicted.
Fast forward to adulthood, Kurt becomes a bouncer, meets someone who works at a radio station, and he goes there. Just to have people laughing at him. He's distraught again and leaves the station, thinking that he made a bad decision. Frank happens to come by, see that Kurt was upset, and asks what's wrong. Kurt tells him what happened, and Frank mocks him AGAIN with the same shit he told him when he was a TEENAGE BOY, now as a YOUNG ADULT. He walks off, laughing.
Nice going! /s Kicking Kurt while he's down JUST LIKE OLD TIMES, RIGHT? FUCK YOU.
Kurt then decides that he's gonna lose weight and be the best radio show host. (Toxic much? Why would you try to preach that your weight = your worth as a person? If you're losing weight for yourself, great! I'm happy for you! If you don't want to lose weight, you don't give a fuck about what people say, and you're happy in your own skin, that's awesome too! Do it for yourself, not for anyone's approval. Try to love yourself and accept yourself in any form you're in. Don't fall for the bullshit that you have to be a certain size or look a certain way for you to love and accept yourself. The weight may be gone, but the rest of your issues will still be there. I have to clarify that I meant this in GENERAL, not necessarily for extremities on either side of the spectrum of weight...because there are things you MUST follow.)
Kurt gets back to the station, ignores all the people being assholes, he's doing his thing, and he's climbing up.
Fast forward to when Kurt is middle-aged. He has his own radio show, and he's one of the biggest names in the radio industry. After he finishes up his show, he goes outside to see a couple of young fans. A young black girl with her brother, a plus-size boy. They say how much they love his show, they got his merch, and the boy tells Kurt that he wants to be just like him. The boy doubts himself though because of people abusing him JUST LIKE what Kurt went through. Kurt empathizes with the boy and tells him a little bit about his own experience. Following them is Frank as an old man. They're his grandkids.
Frank recognizes Kurt, and actually apologizes to him for the torment he put him through as a teenager. WHAT A SHOCK. /srs
Kurt takes it with grace, but says that he should be thanking Frank for all the torment. Why? Because it "motivated him". The girl says that she loves that. (Okay, since she's a kid and there's still time for her to change her mind about certain things, I'm not going to be as harsh here. I don't bash on the kids unless they're doing or saying extremely fucked up things willingly. She didn't say this with bad intentions. I understand you're coming from a good place, and I appreciate that, but please hear me out. This wasn't at all like dealing with edgy thirteen year olds on the internet. This man you look up to was abused by your grandfather in his youth. Your brother is experiencing that same torment your idol went through...at a younger age too, it seems like. The kid looks no older than middle school age [ten or eleven at the YOUNGEST to maybe thirteen or fourteen at the OLDEST]. That's a huge problem. Kurt may have "toughed it out", but that might not be the case for your brother. Please don't excuse that kind of behavior.)
Dude...what the actual fuck? I can understand not being bothered by the hate, but this grown ass man literally VERBALLY AND EMOTIONALLY ABUSED YOU AS A YOUNG, IMPRESSIONABLE TEENAGE BOY, CONTINUING INTO ADULTHOOD, and you're THANKING Frank for all of that? Why should you thank your abuser for what he put you through? He didn't contribute ANYTHING to your success. So I guess abuse is a GREAT contribution to people's success now, right? /s It doesn't contribute to anything, in my opinion. Yes, what doesn't kill you can make you stronger, but can we normalize people becoming weaker to a point due to traumatic events? Because they exist. Demonizing survivors who have become weaker to some degree or just flat-out ignoring them isn't helping. You did the thing you wanted to do, Kurt. Frank didn't help you. The person who really helped you was YOU and your mom.
MOVING ON.
The boy asks Kurt if he thinks he'll ever be able to make it as a radio show host. Kurt asks if HE believes that. The boy says he does. Kurt gives him some advice and gives the boy his Walkman. The boy's ecstatic, they leave, and Kurt goes to meet up with his mom.
Keeping to his promise, Kurt bought his mom a house so she'd never be homeless again and never have to worry about being evicted. (HOW LONG WAS SHE HOMELESS FOR? OH MY GOD. THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO KNOW. I hope you at least let her stay with you or something. They never went into that, unfortunately.) She's very grateful. The video ends there.
My personal thoughts on the video: Another piss poor video....but worse! Because it was a COLLAB. And based on a true story. Good going with taking this man's story of being abused by a grown adult to exploit for your personal gain, Dhar Mann! WOW. LOVE THAT! Totally a good look. /s
What I took from this video is that if you're plus-size, according to Dhar Mann, you'll apparently NEVER be successful, let alone be taken seriously...which is an absolute lie. There are many plus-size people who are very successful. Another thing I took from the video is that apparently according to Dhar Mann, being verbally and emotionally abused as a teenager by a grown adult all the way into adulthood is "motivation" for you to work harder to reach your goals. (Nice going, Dhar Mann. Justifying grown adults abusing children. Who would've thought? /s)
Oh, and it's like MANDATORY to thank your abusers for tormenting you when you become successful! (Obviously this is an exaggeration. This is me using Dhar Mann's logic against him.) You want to thank them for making you stronger? Fine. You want to spit in their face and say, "Fuck you." to them? Also fine. You want to just never acknowledge them ever again? Totally fine. Whatever you want to do, that's fine by me, but can you not imply that "thanking" your abusers is mandatory in some way?
If you made it this far, thank you! I hope you're having a good morning/day/afternoon/evening/night. Stay safe, y'all. Love you. /p
#dhar mann#dhar mann talk#dhar mann will live to regret his decision to make these fucked up cringe videos#dhar mann will live to regret his decision uwu#dhar mann is a piece of human garbage#please stop supporting dhar mann#dhar mann is a cringe ass nae nae baby#tw fatphobia#tw ed mention#tw fat shaming#cw complicated relationships with food mention#tw abuse mention#tw homelessness#tw eviction#tw abuse#fatphobes dni#tw dhar mann
33 notes
·
View notes
Text
Uhh warning VENT!!! Talks about self harm and shit... also religious bullshit and gender bullshit??? Like I'm really trans and also Catholicism really fucked me up so if ur uncomfy with that just... skip this post. Also if ur Christian and can't handle seeing ur shit defaced then skip this post. Also if ur gonna clown on this post as "cringe atheism" then fuck you because I'm literally coping with pain lol
:readmore:
Anways now that the disclaimer is over... here comes the real shit.
I... have been going through a LOT lately, jesus christ. I was HAPPY today, yknow? I thought I was gonna be happy the whole day.
I was dancing today. That's how happy I was. For the first time in like... a whole year... I was really so happy. I thought I was gonna cry. But then I got home. And well,,,, I did cry. But not from happiness. I just got my math grade back. A fucking 49 percent. MY AVERAGE RIGHT NOW IS A 57 PERCENT. I MIGHT FAIL MATH 20. I MIGHT HAVE TO RETAKE IT. oh my god I'm such a failure I cant do anything ever i try SO fucking hard but honestly??? I cant fucking do this. I can't, I'm not mentally capable. "Just work harder"... BITCH I AM WORKING AS HARD AS I CAN. I AM SPENDING HOURS AND HOURS OF MY LIFE STUDYING AND PRACTICING. I'm starting to think that how hard i try doesn't even fucking matter because I'm STUPID and all i know how to do is PAINT SHIT!!!! NOBODY CARES ABOUT ART!!!! IF I FAIL THIS CLASS I MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO HAVE A HOUSE IN THE FUTURE!!!! A HOUSE!!!!!
I dont even want to be a fucking orthodontist. Okay??? I wanna do what I love: painting. But NOOOO. I have to get a "respectable" job that will "pay me enough money to live". WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO MAKE MONEY TO LIVE??? WTF??? THATS LITERALLY SO FUCKED UP. everyone deserves to live (unless they like murdered someone? I guess? Idk) BUT LIKE I DIDNT KILL NO ONE SO WHATS ALL THIS BS ABOUT WORKING TO LIVE???? WTF??? I rly gotta do all this shit I hate, all this shit I'm mentally incapable of doing... so i can have a house. Fuck this. Yknow with my average at a 57... I might fail this class even if I get a really good grade on my next quiz. Can you fucking believe it??? I'm literally so fucking stupid I cant even pass a dumb fucking math class god i hate myself. I cant fail this class. I've NEVER failed a class. Almost failed... but never HAD TO RETAKE A CLASS. that's the ultimate failure. I think my parents would hate me if I failed this.
And on top of that... I'm really struggling with uhhh, dysphoria and body image... and it's so fucking horrible man I want to rip all my skin off I want to suffocate god I want to KILL him I want to MAKE HIM SUFFER. I want to gouge his eyes out and force him to eat them. WHY WOULD HE MAKE ME LIKE THIS????? WHY????? WHATS THE POINT IN MAKING A CHILD SUFFER SO MUCH???
What did I ever do that was so wrong I deserved all this punishment???
Well FUCK YOU and fuck your stupid book and FUCK THESE STUPID FUCKING SAINTS. WASNT THERE SUPPOSED TO BE A WHOLEASS ANGEL WATCHING OVER ME?? PROTECTING ME??? WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT BITCH NOW?? WHERE WAS THAT BITCH WHEN... when I was being bullied? When I literally wanted to kill myself?
Where was that guardian angel when I kept making THE SAME MISTAKE over and over again and I KNEW it was wrong but I kept doing it anyways because it was the only way I could feel like soemone cared about me????
I bet that angel motherufcker KNEW they didnt care. DID THE ANGEL EVER ONCE HELP ME??? NOOOO. all those times I was bruised and broken... all those times...
Man, I was just a kid. I was SO fucking young. And I would come like a lamb to the slaughter and kneel. I would pray... ask for guidance. I would pray the rosary too, I would read the bible and try my very best to understand it, I would go to church and volunteer at church and do my best to be a Good Boy and never sin. I did EVERYTHING right. I literally fasted at some point, like a religious fast. I was devoted...
Honestly though? I think it was the same mistake I make over and over again, except not with a real person.
And you have me NOTHING. GO GIRL, GIVE US NOTHING!!!!!!! I literally used to self-punish for the sins I couldnt bring myself to confess. At my communion, there was one sin I didn't tell because I knew it was unforgivable. I still hate myself for that. But man, I used to try and do all sorts of things to somehow cleanse myself of it. I figured THAT whole ordeal was why I was constantly being tortured.
But I was stupid and I am stupid and that makes NO SENSE because if the thing I'm being punished for happened when I was a child, WHY DID THE PUNISHMENT BEGIN AT MY BIRTH????
They used to tell me that god handcrafted every part of me specifically for some sort of grand reason.
Why.
Really? This bitch really "handcrafted" me just so I could cry and cut myself nearly every night??? Fuck that. Like why would you make me this way. It hurts more than you can IMAGINE. The only reason I'm not dead yet is because of ME, MY strength, not any of the bullshit YOU gave me. I hate when people say "oh, god made u so hardworking" or "oh, god made you so passionate/hopeful/full of love/fiery/whatever" LIKE STFU BITCH THAT WAS NOT SKYDADDY THAT WAS ME!!!
you wanna know what he made me?
dysphoric, ugly af, yeah.... but the worst part?
He made me feel.
That doesn't sound bad, right? Well it's the worst thing on the list. It is my downfall, my Achilles heel or whatever. This emotions shit??? It RUINED my life. My whole life I was cursed with a fucking monster inside me. I kept trying to tell everyone that it wasnt me!!! I kept telling them that it felt like I was being possessed. But adults are SHIT. I hate adults. I want to kill them all. They failed me and their god failed me. None of them every listened to me. All they knew how to do was punish, punish, punish.
It's like giving an allergic kid some peanuts and then getting angry at them for going into anaphylactic shock or whatever. Nobody ever thought "hey, why don't we stop giving the kid peanuts?"
ALL THE ADULTS AROUND ME ACT LIKE CHILDREN AND THEY ALWAYS HAVE ACTED LIKE CHILDREN FUCK ADULTS
Anwyays that's how I ended up with all these unresolved issues,.... emotion is a tough one, like I literally dont have the ability to control my emotions at all, I can try and like, repress them but I cant make myself actually feel less.
My emotion hurts more than anyone else's and nobody ever understood that. I would tell them that it hurts, it PHYSICALLY HURTS, and they would say I just wanted attention. I would tell them I literally couldnt control what my body said and did, I would tell them I felt like A PUPPET ON STRINGS and no one believed me. Fuck them.
Healthy coping mechanisms? I literally self ship with Snape to cope. I literally self ship with characters my brain made up and put in my dreams to cope. I used to hurt myself so much trying to feel loved and cared about irl. Fiction is so much better. I sound like a loser but its TRUE. The sort of thing I need, the sort of love I need is like... a parent. You can't go looking for a parent in a romantic partner, it fucks everything up and you end up... well, let's just say it proabbly wasnt the most legal thing, but I wasnt thinking strisght at all I mean dude I was So fucked in my head when I did all that...whatever...anyways so thank u for fiction!!! I love fiction. Want to kill someone? Draw it. Then you'll feel much better!!! And you dont go to jail!!!
Well the pics here... idk, it was really calming to do this. It's new, painting over religious shit. I was gonna do the whole bible but I already burnt that shit so.... and I was going to cut but I'm trying really hard to stay clean... like really hard. It's so weird and like, addicting, once I hit styro I don't want to stop, but also it kinda transfers the emotional pain to physical pain, making it way easier to deal with. I just can't keep doing that because I KNOW it's bad and look I thoguht I was clean for a whole year but then I fucked up and WOW, GUESS WHAT MADE ME RELAPSE??? MATH CLASS!!!!
Whatever anyways here are my wonderful works of art I made while crying and cursing god (like I'm so pissed at all this catholic bs I believed in him again just to swear at him lol)
.... but imagine for a moment, a better world. One in whcih these saints whose images I've defaced are actually good people... a world in which they SEE ME AND THEY HEAR ME... and I go unpunished.... and I am embraced by someone who UNDERSTANDS.
I think I would cry.
Too bad that world doesnt exist and I just made it up to try and feel a bit better. Whatever, whatever. I painted the things, they're gonna dry. I work hard, I'm gonna do good on my quiz, I hope. I just have to be making it through, that's all it is, work work work without a break but I can proabbly do it. I'm really slipping I admit like the mental health is slipping it's getting worse like I havent had a "fuck I am afab" moment in such a long time so yeah...
Anwyays I feel so much better now that I did my little art project yknow???
#ughhh#parent your fucking kids#religious bullshit#adults dont fuck up the children you are in charge of challenge#religion don't fuck up trans kids challenge#good dick really breaks a motherfucker#vent
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
stimmypaw reads the apprentice’s quest, a blog post
A big one, just a bunch of thoughts as I’m reading it, of course, lots of spoilers for the first book in the Warrior Cats series A Vision of Shadows. This will be covering just the first book tho, it’s all in the Read More, let’s gooooooo!!!!
Vision Of Shadows time
Lots of new cats!!! I don't remember these guys as kits or anything wrow!!! I like their names but itll take a while to get used to them
Also cant believe they printed stormcloud's dead name
Omg there's a cat named beepaw
I love these cats all of them so much im going 2 cry
All new names are perfect
I FORGOT HOW GORGEOUS THE CAT VIEW IN THE RECENT BOOKS WAS, LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT
I'm glad leafpool smokes weed
I love reading from Jayfeather's point of view, his grumpiness hasn't grown on me ever but thats just me, I still enjoy it lots he's great and its fun
Firestar and Leopardstar's characterizations are On Point i love it
OOF i feel so bad when jayfeather is mean to others, poor kestrelflight, I love those two
Lovely Jayfeather moments now its time for the first chapter
I like this duo! Also I didn't think I'd ever say this but shut up squirrelflight one can have fun AND learn with their mentors
Sparkkit sounds nice she makes jingling bell noises when she walks around
Alderkit is chadphobic /j
I can see Alderkit taking deep breaths to relax its rotating in my mind its beautiful
God this first chapter feels so good and comfortable, like eating noodles and chicken nuggets. I am so so deeply in love with it, its gorgeous!
Sparkkit is so perfect too, and Graystripe remembering Firestar aaaaaa
DUSTPELT SAID WHAT? PHDHAHAHHA OH NOOOO I don't remember their relationship much, must have been fun, I love young little creature squirrelflight I MISSED HER SO BAD WOW
I started reading the second chapter and died, I think ill take a break now 2 sleep heehhee
I love them describing twoleg stuff its always so fun and alien, like watching an animal planet show about funny sea creatures.
Also I have determined sparkpaw is my favorite, might be my favorite cat ever next to hollyleaf??? I really identify with her and also she's autistic i have decided that
Alderpaw baby noooo hhhh their mentor at least is trying to show its okay, he seems very emotionally distant so far and alderheart feels very emotionally needy, actually both of them do, did I mention I love Sparkpaw??? I might be imprinting myself 2 much on her
I love how like, its clear both of them are absolutely anxious and worried about others opinions on them, which is clearly something they got from being Firestar's grandkids, deputy kids and leader kids. And bramblestar too, I recall him being quite the anxious lad ahhah. Sparkpaw will be showing confidence and being loud but the second anyone isn't approving of her or she does something "wrong" she gets small and quiet, and she ended up setting a high bar for herself by being good at hunting and fighting so I'm curious to see how that will go. Also there's nothing wrong with being guided through a crowded place to meet others Sparkpaw!!! I bet the two of them would be stuck without not knowing how to talk to others had Needlepaw not shown up. I love them, my gf is mocking me saying I'm a Sparkpaw kinnie.
Apprentices will like learn about a thing and tell everyone about it all the time and assume its always true in every situation and thats valid I love kids like that. Also in my head Needlepaw kinda looks like a porcupine. Oh boo she's fatphobic >:(
I love apprentices they are so fun and silly, just making fun of the leaders like its nothing. The way they are clearly learning and absorving everything their warriors say and do like sponges its just ***chefs kiss***
Omg shadowclan is just full of 12 year olds help
And then the old person said "it sure is hard being old!" And everyone clapped
Shout-out to pretty Riverclan apprentice #481977 I love her
Leafpool: 👁👁
Alderpaw: I knew it im cursed and awful and terrible and I will never amount to anything
I wish the cats didn't seem to be giving up on him so easily though
Ah yes the classic thunderclan move "you suck, into the medicine hole you go"
The way sparkpaw changes the things she says and how she does when it isn't the status quo around her oooooooooooooyeaaaaaaa I love 1 autistic cat
Alderpaw considering your problems lesser than other cats won't help you deal with them better bro
I love Needlepaw's excitement about Alderpaw being a medicine cat apprentice, and her sarcasm, she feels like a preppy teenager
Ahhh this is so good, I am so thirsty for family moments like this, just Alderpaw bonding with grandma, I’ll definitely want to draw this one it’s so sweet.
Oh to be young and silly.
I really am enjoying like, Alderpaw’s struggles to seeing how he fits in the clan, how he fits in himself, how he wants to be seen and what he wants to be, it’s really good. I Am Engaged(tm) With This Plot.
SPARKPAW NOOOOOOO but also Yes I want her to be shown vulnerable and weak please
POP, god watching this stuff always awful, the cats must have thought he broke her ahahah
Also, really great that they learned from Dovewing and now like leave choices and discussions about prophecies between adults
And plus Brambles seemed to take the time to explain stuff to him, seems he wont be going alone either the 1 thing is that he will be the only one knowing what the journey is really about, why though??? I didnt read Firestar's Quest or whatever why does Skyclan need to be secret??? Seems quite silly really!
YESSSS SANDSTORM GET HIS ASS FIGHT FIGHT LOVE THIS LOVE SANDSTORM
I could feel squirrelflight nearing explosion here, this was very fun, i wish they werent hiding this though!!!
The secret thing is showing to be a plot point so I am once again Very Engaged
Also, wonderful dialogue bit, someone asked Bramblestar why an Elder is going and:
Lovely perfect perfect
I miss you dovewing
SQUIRRELFLIGHT LOVE YOU
Oh boy this is it
Traveling book moment
Graystripe: Soooo you're excited to go on the journey to the old territories and Skyclan?
Sandstorm: Yes! It's been ages and-
Graystripe: I'm sure the tribe will love the visit too
Sandstorm, groaning: Oh noooo I forgot about how the tribe is in the way of every journeyyyyy noooooo they're such a racist caricature, please tell me you have a plan
Graystripe: Yes don't worry about it the writers forgot about the tribe in my comic book so you can just use the excuses i did to actively avoid it
Sandstorm: Oh thank Starclan
Sparkpaw's desperation to prove herself oof, her anxiety with understanding the prophecy, oh boy, and Alderpaw feeling too overwhelmed by the questions and not managing to talk!!!! I am so glad they are both autistic
Hoping "Being Leader" wont mean theyre putting nonsense responsibility on the apprentice again
Ah good Sandstorm is on the lead again, as she should, she should have been leader she would have been great
I can't believe Alderpaw thinks I look stupid and diseased :( /j
Everything about this twoleg scene was scandalous I loved it, Sparkpaw just toppled over a trash bag and they are eating from it, iconic, also did those twolegs throw out a whole turkey? Damn
Its not that Sparkpaw is freakishly good at hunting she is very hungry and constantly on the watch for things to eat
BRO Ive never been in a road where the drivers are this wild, throwing bottles out of the car????? Ive seen Fruit being thrown like once or twice, what the fuck!!! I'm glad they are going to wait until the morning to continue
Okay I was not expecting Needlepaw to show up this girl is chaotic I love her
ACTUALLY YEAH WHY DIDNT THEY TELL THE OTHER CLANS ABOUT THIS SINCE THE PROPHECY IS ABOUT ALL THE CLANS???
Needlepaw is like Rono from Bambi 2 if he wasnt a mean bully and thats very epic
Very curious character though, how come her mentor isnt teaching her the warrior code properly? Is that an issue with all apprentices?? Is the clan overwhelmed by 12 year olds and they won?
Having lots of fun trying to play the game "what animal are they describing this time" the erins made here, im glad they're in a farm. Worried about Sandstorm though :c
Fuck im worried about sandstorm a lot, her wound hurt on Me
Yeah water is good youre right sandstorm
Aw man I hope she's okay let her at least survive to meet skyclan please
NOOOOOOOO SANDSTORMA A AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Sandtteooonrjrbbbmmnnnnnnnnnn
I am so sad
Alderpaw denying it, Starclan shining upon their vigil, everything crushed me i cried
Alderpaw considers Nihilism
Haven't seen a cat thank starclan for prey in a while its
Oh look they time skipped a journey! They don't tend to do that thats nice
I'm so excited to be meeting The Skyclan that everyone in the fandom knows now
So far they seem kinda mean but thats most clans at first glance really
Okay somethings up
I uh have heard of Darktail pretty sure he's a bad guy so yeah something really bad happened to Skyclan
Am worried
Darktail sounds like an evil himbo* i may be enjoying him actually
*himbos are usually nice by default so he's just evil and stupid and strong
Does needletail know these cats already?????
Ah
Shit
Oh okay fuck
I've been quietly reading the rest because I am just concerned and I want them to be okay as quickly as possible
Waterfalls are a classic nice
Oh boy time for our unlikely duo of Alderpaw and Needlepaw to get out of a Mess!
I did not expect this to end up with the two of them journeying into parenthood, but I'm happy it did
Well actually I'm very unhappy theyre so lost and there's no sign of Skyclan I am very worried for everyone involved Sparkpaw must be feeling awful!
Twigkit is a great name
Yeah this ended terribly
Overall! Frigging loved it this book was GOOD and a great start for the series I am very excited to read the rest, SO WORRIED ABOUT SKYCLAN THO AAAA the characterizations were great the characters were great the pacing was fun and I didn't get bored once!
I think o only wish I had read this sooner really so I could look up others thoughts without getting heavily spoiled about the last books, I can watch a few videos already though thats a start ahhaha. But yeah it was great and it felt very good to read, haven't swallowed up a book so quickly in a very long time!!! Very happy I finally got my hands on this 💕💖💕💖💕💖 cant wait 2 start the next one
If you read all this, hope you had fun hahaha, ill be making more of these cus theyre fun and I like talking about warrior cats thats just my thing
Til next time
#wc#the apprentice's quest#warrior cats#a vision of shadows#avos#warrior cats avos#avos wc#wc avos#avos warrior cats#warrior cats a vision of shadows#alderpaw#needlepaw#sparkpaw#violetkit#twigkit
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Moonshine - A Beetlejuice Fanfiction 12
Warning: swearing, several mentions of murder, scaring people out of their pants, Beej being a creep, shotgun use, abusive ex.
The ground was shaking, the house was somehow glitching and green smoke filled the living room. The girls heard a loud, croaky, devilish laugh right before the room turned completely dark. Even the lightning stopped. Sofía held Rei close in fear, while Ari was looking around with lustruous eyes. All of a sudden, a gravelly voice filled the air.
- Welcome, welcome, welcome, lovely ladies! - a weirdly handsome, husky man with fluffy hair, which went from black roots to glowing, bright green tops and stubble colored the same way stood on the dining table. He wore a dirty striped suit with a stripey shirt; a green tie, which had several spots of moss on it; black suspenders; and dirty black leather shoes with stacked heels. He was grinning, showing his sharp double canines; his golden, kind of catlike eyes were shining in excitement. Some random spots of dirt and maybe rotting patterned his face. He put a spotlight on himself, and as he threw his hands above his head, a couple of red neon lights lighted up around him. Some of them were arrows, pointing at him, some of them were captions saying "Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Beetlejuice". - Can all of you see me now?
- SHIT HE'S REAL. - screamed Rei.
- Wow. - gasped Ari right before the man jumped down from the table. He landed right in front of her. He locked his gaze in hers and offered her a hand. - You look WAY better than I imagined, based on the voice. - she put her palm in his. - Not so dead... - Beetlejuice lifted Ari up from the ground and as he did, he locked her in his arms, swooped her off her feet and planted a kiss on her lips. Which was followed by a bitchslap from the wide-eyed breather girl. Beetlejuice let Ari go, still smiling like an idiot.
- Sorry, sorry, I got overjoyed, I just had to, I couldn't help myself. Am I overstepping my bounds? - Ari nodded and smiled while she wiped her lips. This man can't be real. Crazy motherfucker is worse than I imagined. - It's just that this whole thing is so beautiful! - his voice got emotional and he put his hands on his chest, where Ari imagined his heart would've been. - You called me! You didn't have to, but you called me!
- The fuck you mean she didn't had to? - asked Rei who let go of Sofía to inspect the demon more closely. Beetlejuice raised an eyebrow, pulled a grimace, snapped his fingers and a couple pieces of furniture appeared before the winter garden's door, making a barricade.
- Solves all ya problems. - he turned back to Ari. - NOW! I'm gonna go, kill those suckers, have some fun, earn some screams, and leave chaos in my wake!
- Yes, good, get on it! - stated Ari, held Beetlejuice's wide shoulders, and turned him around to face the backdoor. - Get'em, tiger. - Sofía jumped in front of them, making Beetlejuice almost fall over.
- Wait, you really want him to do that?!? - Ari gestured with her hand and raised her eyebrows.
- Duuuh, I didn't summon him to play fucking yahtzee! - BJ chuckled and put his elbow on Ari's shoulder.
- I like your jokes but I like hu-mor. - he cooed with a tilted head and a cheesy smile. Ari flashed a kind of annoyed look at him and blinked fast.
- Later, Beetlejuice, later, please, we have so much shit to do and haunt and kill now.
- You can't do that! - said Sofía, still standing before Ari and BJ. - It's not just morally wrong, but don't ya think, Ariadné dearest, that if a bunch of guys get brutally murdered here, we'll have to bury them and having a shitton of mounds in our backyard would raise suspicion? AND since we have such a bad luck, I'm pretty sure the police would find the bodies somehow. - Beetlejuice layed back to the wall, inspecting his dirty black nails, sighing. There's so much trouble with living folks, they always find somethin' to ruin the fun. It's easier with dead guys, you have some problems with them, you just throw 'em to a sandworm and your problems are solved! WAIT...
- Hey, guys, sorry to barge in, but I just wanna state that if you push someone, that’s bullying, if you kill someone, that’s murder, sure, but if there is no evidence and nobody sees it... - he shrugged. - ...it’s a simple accident. - he showed a toothy grin, lightning flashing on his sharp double canines. - And those goddamn sandworms could swallow anyone alive.
- What's a sandworm? - asked Ari excitedly. BJ shrugged.
- Oh ya know, nothing much, just 10-meters-tall two-headed snakes with a killer appetite. If they eat someone, they automatically get deported to the Netherworld, or I dunno how ya folks call it, Purgatory. No problem with the body, or the ghost. - Ari smiled widely and launched herself at Beetlejuice. She hugged his neck tightly.
- YOU ARE A GENIUS! - Beetlejuice just stood still, not knowing what to do with the sudden hug.
- Well, being dead has its perks. - he said with a small, weird laugh. Ari made a disgusted face and quickly let go.
- Ew, you smell like rotten meat. Gross.
- Aww thanks babe! - ha cooed and put his weight from one leg to another like a little kid.
Rei cleared her throat.
- Isn't that swallowing thing still murder though? - Beetlejuice appeared right behind her out of thin air.
- Jesus Christ, Rei, you sexy son of a bitch, grow up! - he said and pinched her booty, then quickly reappeared on the dining table. - Please, sweethearts, shut up already! - he said in a nagging manner. - I'm ready for some people to die! Let me have my fun, you guys are like a snorefest! - the knocking started again, since the bad guys on the other side of the door realized they can't break it.
- Who's there with ya honey? - asked Matt, after hearing BJ talk. - Did... DID YOU HOOK UP WITH SOMEONE?! I AM ALL THAT YOU NEED! ARIADNÉ, DON'T MAKE ME COME IN THERE!!! - BJ pointed at the door.
- See, the stupid motherfucker's even asking for it!
The girls looked at each other. Rei was the first to talk.
- Well, I have a very little patience for stupidity. I say let's get rid of these jerks. - Sofía rolled her eyes and tried to say something but Beetlejuice quickly pointed at her and a metal plate appeared on her lips, making her unable to talk. She flashed an angry look at the demon. But he just shrugged with a wicked smile.
- Silence gives consent.
- There's only one more thing! - stated Rei, which made Beetlejuice do a huge eyeroll.
- WHATTTT.
- Kill only Matt. His henchmen don't deserve death, I mean at least I think so. - she said while looking at Ari. She nodded with pouted lips. - Only scare them. If you can do that. - Beetlejuice held his chest and dramatically made the expression of fainting.
- If I can do that?! What do ya think, what am I, a newbie? - he jumped off the table, booping Rei's nose. - Babes, I've been scaring for like a millennia. I'm the bio-exorcist of the Netherworld, giving houses enemas and shit. - he turned away. - Don't underestimate my power cause I'll be offended! - Ari laughed, jumped next to Beetlejuice who hold his arm out, so she locked arms with him. He stared deeply into her widely opened, emerald green eyes. - So tell me, little wolf, do you want to punish those who have wronged you? - he said in an arousing tone. His gravelly voice made Ari slightly shiver and gulp.
- Y-yes...
- Alright ladies, then let's turn up the juice and see what shakes loose!
With a snap of the fingers, all 4 of them teleported to the kitchen. The metal plate from Sofía's mouth disappeared, which made her kind of relieved, but still left her grouching.
- You snake-ass bitches don't respect the Sister Code... - she grumbled.
- Hey, d'ya want me to put the plate back on your slutty mouth, woman?! - asked Beetlejuice in a sharp tone. Sofía crossed her arms before her chest.
- ...I hate you. - Beetlejuice nodded then turned back to Ari with a devilish smile. His eyes were literally glowing at this point, and maybe he had sharper and a bit more teeth than an average human would have.
- Okay, so first thing first, I'm invoking the "No Judgement” clause of our friendship.
- What? Why? - asked Ari. Beetlejuice layed back to the middle kitchen counter and fixed his jacket. He flashed his glowing, hungry eyes at Ari and winked.
- Cause Imma get a little nasty... - Beetlejuice was interrupted by an angry scream. Matthias was banging on the door so loud at this point that Rei was sure he already broke some of his fingers.
- OPEN UP OR I'LL SHOOT THIS FUCKIN DOOR OPEN! - Ari's lower lip juddered at the sudden shouting. She cupped Beetlejuice's chubby face in her palms, took a deep breath and with heated determination in her eyes she said:
- Make him piss his pants.
- Your wish is my command, babes.
- I'M GONNA COUNT TO THREE! - Beetlejuice looked at the door and snapped his fingers. - ONE! - the furniture floated back to their original places. - TWO! - BJ let out a voiceless laugh as he wiggled his fingers and made the whole house pitch black. - FUCK IT! - and with that, right after the sound of barrel-loading a shotgun, the door of the winter garden opened with a creek.
One of the most sobering things in the world must be to experience a classical horror cliché in a house that is rumored to be haunted. There were 5 men standing behind Matt; he met them all earlier that night at a shitty pub, and they were all horny and drunk enough for Matthias to convince them easily to follow him and break into the house of his ex-girlfriend. Stupid boys thought that they'll get some easy pussy that night. Then they saw the house and all of them started to get second thoughts... But they quickly brushed them off, those rumors were just to scare the little townsfolk.
As soon as the door opened, Matt's henchmen looked at each other. Matthias hastily stepped into the house and looked back at the guys. They were stalling and shared concerned looks. Beetlejuice snapped his fingers and appeared with the girls hidden behind one of the huge cupboards of the winter garden. He leaned closer to Ari and whispered:
- Watch. This. - he pointed at one of Ari's big oleanders and started to wiggle his fingers. The plant started to grow, and as it got bigger and bigger, it became an anthropomorphic cross between a Venus flytrap and an avocado. It had a huge, nasty-looking pod which had shark-like teeth. Ari gasped and smiled widely. She always wanted to see this plant in real life. The men didn't notice the plant first, but then one of them started to sniff the air, which was filled with the smell of blood now, and turned around. As soon as he spotted the plant, he screamed like a girl. Beetlejuice opened his mouth in awe and circled his nipples.
- Oh how I missed that sound... - he purred. Ari laughed.
- Do the Voice, do the Voice, do the Voice! - she said excitedly and jokingly smacked BJ's upper arm a couple times. The demon showed his teeth, held out his hand like a sock puppet and immitated talking with it. As he did, the plant started to talk.
- FEED ME SEYMOOUUR! - the plant growled at the men before it. All 5 of them screamed and launched themselves into the pitch black room. They shoved Matt before themselves, who fell on his stomach, dropped his weapon and headbanged the hardwood floor. Beetlejuice snapped his fingers again, which made him and the girls reappear behind the sofa. He peeked out, threw his hand up and made a pulling movement. The burglars all got dragged deeper into the room. It felt like something grabbed their ankles and pulled them...
In the blink of a moment, the door slammed shut behind them, and maniacal laughter filled the air, like it came from every direction. Beetlejuice winked at the girls and got back to his normal, gravelly tone.
- Learn to throw your voice, fool your friends, fun at parties!
- Now THAT is cool! I wanna do that too! - said Rei in an excited tone. Sofía rolled her eyes; she was still very pissed at her sisters so she decided to not give a damn, doesn't matter what awesome things Ari's demon buddy could do. Ari peeked over the edge of the sofa and giggled at the expressions of the men. They looked so afraid. Beetlejuice quickly pulled her back and shushed her with a small laugh. He gestured towards the fireplace which instantly lit up. One of the guys let out a tiny scream, which made BJ rub his palms in ecstasy. He bit his lower lip.
- Mi mamá was right. - said one of the burglars, a shorter latino guy with wobbly voice. - This place... is cursed.
- No it's not. - stated the one next to him. He sounded clearly afraid as well, he just tried to cover it with confidence. - Anyway, what is it with you and curses? You're never happy without a good curse. Superstitious idiot. - he changed into a more sarcastical tone. - "This is cursed, that is cursed!"
- Give it a rest, will ya!!! - shouted Matt, who was looking for the shotgun. - Don't be pussies! It's just the wind, and my baby always had weird plants. You know what we came for. Let's head upstairs, 2 people per girl, and have some fun! - he flashed an evil smile at his "friends". And that made Beetlejuice's blood boil.
- Not on my watch, Mattyboy! - he hissed. He closed his eyes for a moment. Welp, hope I'm not rusty. - Let's see, what are you jerks the most afraid of?
He disappeared from behind the sofa. The girls peeked out, and clearly saw a shadow figure circling the men. It was audible that something was moving behind them. The burglars turned around but didn't see a thing. Beetlejuice's shadow form took a quick look into every men's eyes. Several scriptures from the Middle Ages tell us that if a demon looks into your eyes, they can see your biggest fears. Who would've thought that it's true?
- Got it. - said Beej as he reappeared behind the sofa with a snap. He took a quick look on Ari's excited faced, and flashed a toothy grin. - This is gonna be so. Much. Fun. Let's give those guys the fright of their lives! - Beetlejuice disappeared again, just to reappear next to the windows. His figure was vaguely illuminated by the random thunderbolts. He tilted his head sideways and dropped his left hand next to himself. His painted black nails grew into huge claws, his catlike eyes were glowing, just like his dark burgundy hair. It always looked like this when he was in a destructive, devilish mood. He flashed a wicked, Cheshire-like smile and started to scratch the windows. It made the girls' get goosebumps but the burglars' look was a good enough compensation for the unpleasantness. Ari was pretty sure that the guys saw BJ for a moment before he disappeared with a laugh again. He sounded so evil. Beetlejuice appeared next to Ari again, digging into his fluffy hair, eyes closed, wide smile on his face. Shit, that's hot, thought Ari. - I'm still the Ghost with the Most.
- What if they go upstairs? - asked Sof with a raised eyebrow, pointing at the burglars approaching the stairs. - Hmm? Did ya plan out something for that as well, Mr. Ghosty-ghost?
- Well I have ideas... - said Ari and leaned close to Beej. She whispered something into his ear which made him bite his lower lip. At this point his teeth were more shark-like than human-like.
- Shit babes, you're a natural... - he moaned and flung his hand towards the stairs. Matthias just stepped on the first step, but was stopped by the sight of 2 little girls standing on the top of the stairs, holding hands. Their eyes were all black.
- Come play with us, Matty. Forever... and ever... and ever... - they said in the same rhythm, with the creepiest child-voice you can ever imagine. The burglars stepped back. Ari couldn't hold back any longer and shouted:
- NOW!
The children started screaming histerically and in the same moment, blood started to wave down the stairs, soaring on the walls, splashing at the men. They all screamed bloody murder and tried to ran away, scattering in every possible direction. Beetlejuice's eyes were glowing with pleasure.
- Do you hear that sound, Ari? That BEAUTIFUL sound? - he said with a moan and bit his fist. - That is the sound, of clean, white, shorts turning brown.. - he looked at Ari. - Ain't it the sweetest noise around? - he laughed maniacally which made Ari and Rei giggle as well. - You guys stay here so you won't stay in the way, but you... - he grabbed Ari's hand and pulled her up to her feet. - ...you deserve to enjoy the show from first row, babes.
With a snap, they appeared in the corner, next to good old Long John Silver's skeleton. Beetlejuice wiggled his fingers and the pirate slowly came to life. One of the burglars, with terror in his eyes, tried to run away as far as possible from the reanimated corpse, but clumsily, he lost his foothold because of the dripping blood from his clothes and fell on his back. It made a huge thud. Ari burst out laughing, like the child she was in heart, but tried to cover her mouth with her hand. Beetlejuice was laughing too, but decided to top his performance and wiggled his fingers again. The pirate started rattling as he lifted his sword up, let out a warcry, and started to run in the lying man's direction. He let out an agonizingly high-pitched scream as he got up. BJ and Ari laughed more histerically.
- Did you hear that?! - wheezed the girl and slapped BJ's shoulder. - Oh my god let's make some more people scream!
BJ held Ari's hand, and pulled her over to the TV. The demon tapped the screen which instantly lit up in blue. Weird streaks appeared on it, then a hand from the inside, tapping the glass. Then another one. Then one more. Two guys, who now held each other, screamed out. BJ put his arm around Ari's shoulders.
- Panic and stress, oh ain't it the best? - he said an laughed with his head thrown backwards.
- You are such a weirdo! - she laughed and elbowed him in the side. He let her go, tilted his head sideways, hunched down and bit his lips in a weird, kinda creepy manner. Ari wheezed and scruffed his fluffy hair. Beetlejuice hunched down more.
- Now behind my ear... - he said with a moan. Ari pulled her hand back with a laugh. She looked around, admiring the sight of bloody men running around, but then her eyes found a specific person standing before the steps, staring at her with a shotgun in his hand. The smile from her face disappeared. She took a step back, and Beetlejuice instantly stepped before her, covering her with his body. He formed a little cup with one of his hands, held out the other dramatically and blew into his palm. A huge blob of fire appeared right before them, blowing up in Matthias's face. He screamed and BJ laughed. - No worries babes, I got ya. NOW WHERE WERE WE. - he turned around and after some looking, he pointed at a guy. He was trying to open up the front door, but it was shut. Beetlejuice made huge gestures and summoned a crazy eyed, killer looking dog. Ari awwed and crouched down. The dog acted all surprised when the girl scruffed his head, but in half a second he got really happy and wagged his tail. Beetlejuice raised an eyebrow and made an unimpressed face. - You are a hellhound, you are SO not supposed to do that. - Ari laughed, hugged the dog one more time, then pointed at the guy Beetlejuice was eyeing.
- Go, catch! - she said in an angelic voice. The hellhound started barking and running towards his target. Poor guy jumped up on the hall cabinet.
Beetlejuice snapped again. They now appeared in the downstairs bathroom. A burglar was leaning against the bathroom door, huffing, and as they appeared, he pointed at BJ in fear.
- YOU! - he shouted. - My dad told me about you! The stripey demon with the stupid hair who haunts the creepy house at the edge of the town! Nobody believed a young weedhead pizza guy but you ARE real! - Beetlejuice shrugged and flashed an evil smile.
- Well, why didn't you listen to him? I bet he told ya to stay away from this... - he rubbed his palms together. - ...creepy house... - he opened his palms, water pouring out of them. Ari climbed up on the washing machine, which was a good idea, noticing that something huge started to move in the water. A crab-like figure. The guy screamed bloody murder. BJ laughed and snapped. Him and Ari reappeared in the living room, right behind the sofa. Rei was clapping like an idiot. Shit, even Sofía looked a bit more enthusiastic now. What can I say, the guy IS good.
- Are you lovely ladies having fun? - Ari and Rei nodded exaggeratedly, Sofía huffed and rolled her eyes. - Well the real show is just about to begin! Take your seats! - Beetlejuice teleported the girls onto the sofa while himself appeared on the coffee-table. He started tapping a rhythm with his feet and out of nowhere, the sound of a guitar could be heard. Then came drums. BJ was kinda dancing around on the table, feeling himself. One of the burglars ran towards him with a glass thing he found on one of the shelves. BJ fixed his jacket and with a movement of a hand, he summoned fire towards him. Then laughed at the guy falling over. Now full on music was blasting. Theatrical weirdo, thought Ari. Rei clapped, BJ bowed. Then he raised his hands slowly, making big spiders emerge from the ground. Sof whined a little and closed her eyes.
- EWEWEWEWEW.
One of the burglars, who was sitting in the corner, legs pulled up to his chest, cried out.
- THIS IS JUST A LUCID DREAM! I'M DREAMING! - BJ turned his head backwards, then floated before him with a normal facing, tilted head, and grabbed the guy's chin.
- Really? - the girls didn't see what's happening really, but what they saw, was that BJ's head was getting bigger and that he opened his lower jaw like a snake. - Then tell me, buddyboy, why do I hear you screaming? - the burglar screamed out and turned white as a wall. Beetlejuice appeared next to Ari on the sofa. He wiped his teary eyes and laughed again. Ari grabbed his thigh with an excited smile.
- You are fantastic! Unbelievable! That was a sound that says I will never sleep well again! - she breathed in. BJ's eyes were glowing at her. Literally glowing. - I can't believe you are such a talented scarer. Hollywood should learn from you. - the demon looked down at his shoes and crumpled his jacket. A slight streak of pink appeared in his hair. Ari jumped back. - OH MY GOD YOUR HAIR CHANGES COLOR! - he pulled the differently colored streak and sighed.
- Yeah, it's like a moodring... Stupid thing always tells on me...
- THAT IS THE COOLEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN! - said Ari with excitement in her voice. - What does light pink mean?
- NOTHING. - stated Beej. With a little bit too much voice. He cleared his throat. - Imma tell ya later, but as you said, we still have so much shit to do, to haunt, to kill... - he winked at Ari who rolled her eyes and crossed her arms before her chest. Beetlejuice booped her nose, than pulled her up onto the table. He whirled her around in ecstasy, both laughing, BJ howling sometimes. - Nice moves, little hellion! - he laughed. The music in the background got louder and louder with each moment. BJ let Ari go for a moment. The guys were losing it at this point, most of them crying and running around. Beetlejuice looked at his pal. - Hey Ari, check this out! - he raised his hands, pointing at one guy after another, twitching with each move. All 6 of them stood up straight. BJ looked at Ari with a wicked smile. - Dance break!
To the rhythm of the music, the burglars all started to dance. They did the same moves BJ did, with a weird green fog in their eyes. Beetlejuice occasionally looked at the girls, who were laughing their asses off. BJ did The Thing™, which made them all snort. Beetlejuice didn't notice that it also made Ari check out his pelvic moves.
The music ended, Rei and Sof was holding each other, both of them teared up by laughter. Ari slapped her thighs. Beetlejuice bowed several times.
- Thank you, thank you, thank you! That was an old Scandinavian folk song. - the girls teared up again. Beetlejuice smiled like an idiot. Now his hair was more green then burgundy. He was having a great time. - I mean, yeah, I put my own spin on it, but... Hey, ya liked it!
And that's when their laughter was stopped by the sound of barrel-loading a shotgun.
#alex brightman#beetlegeuse#beetlejuice#beetlejuice fanfiction#beetlejuice oc#beetlejuice the musical#fanfic#fanfiction#lawrence beetlejuice shoggoth#musical!beetlejuice#beetlejuice broadway
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Odd Omens
Chapter 1
Angels and demons, good and evil is there ever anything in between a gray area? This question had my head spinning for a long time. Life is just weird most of the time.
I believe it just the way thing work and went on with my life. If only life was that easy. At least my life.
But no my life a pile of complicated shit. I wouldn't wish my life on my worst enemy.
Okay that's enough renting now I'll tell you my story.
For a long time I didn't have a name. You see my earliest memory is of a garden. Not just any garden no. It all started in the Garden of Eden.
Yep, that garden, the one with Adam and Eve.
My parents were both angels.
Wait, I hear you angels can't have kids can they?
I'm not sure myself how it happen but my parents found a way. I wish I could ask but I can't you see they are dead. Now were was I ... oh yeah the garden.
It's this garden were I was born. I bet you think I was born a angel with white wings on my back. You're only half right. My left wing is white but my right is black.
But how I hear you ask. Well, like I said both my parents were angels but my mom end up becoming a demon while she was pregnant with me. Get the picture now.
So I'm half angel and half demon. Cool huh, not really.
If you know anything about heaven and hell they don't like anything that they think might overpower them and that were I come in. You see I was seen as a threat to their power.
I think you might be getting the picture I think.
My parents hide my very existence so I would be safe. Of course any parent hided there kid from danger everyone know that. But how do you hid a kid from a god who can see everything. It's not easy let me tell you. Let's just say god was too busy with what was going in his garden. Untill my parents were found out to be in a relationship.
While I was in hiding I never saw but one of my parents at a time it was safer that way.
So I never went out into the garden you ask. Well you see I did go out to the garden and I made a couple of friends who mean the world to me. If you can call them friends. Maybe they are I'm not sure.
The first I met was a snake. He was in one of the trees. I went up to the snake and pet his head. That right I was not scared at all that the snake might bit me. I never need to be scared at any of the animals in the garden they were all really nice to me.
This snake had beautiful eyes and was so cool looking. He even talked to me. Yep, animals can talk in the garden but then again it might been that I could talk to them I don't know.
"What are you doing here? Who are you?" The snake ask me.
"I live here this only place I know. I don't who am, I don't even have a name you see. I just know I like you and that all I know." I told the snake.
"I see." Said the snake.
After that I would come see my snake friend ever now and then but one day he disappeared. I couldn't find him anywhere but I did found someone else.
An angle was standing by the tree that snake would be in when I came to see him. He look nice and maybe he knew where my snake friend was but I couldn't let him see me or anyone see who I really was so I had to change my appearance into something that was not out of place. I turn myself into a fox.
"Well, hello there little fellow." The angel saided to me.
I growled at him. "I'm a girl not a boy." I informed him.
"Sorry, about that you all look the same so it hard to tell. What a minute did you just speak to me?" He said as he was take aback by a fox talking to him.
"Yes, is that weird that I can talk?" I ask him as I sat next to him.
"Well, it can be sometime but you might be special. So why are you here?" He ask me.
"I'm looking for my snake friend he gone and I can't find him anywhere. Do you know were he is?" I ask him.
"Sorry my dear I don't where he is. You'll found him one day I bet so don't give up." He told me.
Since that day I would go to the tree and talk to the angle. That was untill a thing happen you know what the thing I'm talking about.
On that day is the day my parents die. My dad was with me that day. He had two piece of fruit from one of the trees from the garden. The fruit were the tree the I meet my friends at to talk to them. I didn't know what was going on. He told me to take the fruit and run. This is the last time I would ever see my dad ever again.
I run untill I found another cave to hide in. I ate both of the fruit. I decided the best way for me to survive was to become a fox and that what I did.
The garden was no more, my parents were gone, and friends were no were to be seen. The truth was I was now alone. I thought I would stay alone for eternity.
I was so wrong. You see life funny that way when you think your life will be one way it never stays that way. I did change onto turn my human form sometime. Just looking for the for the best way to survive.
On that note I have many form but I mostly use 5 forms. Forms one: my real form which just my white and black wings along with my actual eyes that are silver in color and look more like cats eyes then human ones.
Form 2: a fox with reddish blond fur coat and a fluffy tail. The form that I'm in most of the time. I usually only change out of this form if it's foxes mating season.
Form 3: swan is a form I don't really use but I love going to a pond or lake and changing into my swan form and going for swim and there also the flying of course I can't forget that. It's the best feeling in the world flying on one own wings. Better then going to some airport and jumping on a plane that for sure.
Form 4: snake form is a form I rarely used. It's not that I hate been in this form not at all but a white opal color snake with silver eyes doesn't seem like very good camouflage does it. Beautiful yes great for surviving nope.
Form 5: my last form is my human one of course. My human form has reddish blonde hair, bright blue normal looking eyes, and freckles lots of freckles. The only thing I change about this form is that fact of look like a man or a woman. I only been a man when it was easier for me to find work. Oh yeah I don't date. The companies great but the rest of it I can do without thank you very much. I do try to save as much money as I can it better to have some stashed away just in case. So I lots of mony in alots of banks. In truth I probably couldn't spend it all even if I tried.
I readed lots of books. Love stories, Mysteries, fun stories, and stories about different cultures. You never know where you'll end up. It helps to brush up on a local customs so you can blend in. My favorite stories are The Swan Princess and The Ugly Duckling.
I have one tiny problem two actually. My accent and my charisma. The more I stay at one place more my accent begins to adapt once it does it hard to change it. Then there my charisma, it make thing easy sometime and harder other times. Like I said I'm not interesting in dating. I mean I trying to stay under Heaven and Hell radar here. I also don't stay in one place long enough for that sort of thing.
One day I went to a theater in London since those were now becoming popular to watch a new play by a new guy call William Shakespeare. The play was call Hamlet.
I watch the play and noticed two men in the front, one look like just like the angle I met in the garden many centuries ago. The other guy he was with I didn't know.
They were watching play too. They were whispering to each other. What I didn't know what they were talk about since I was to far away to hear untill I hear the guy who look like my angel friend try to cheer on Hamlet. I think he was ask what his friend thought about the play because he then told them that the guy I didn't know was not his friend. I just roll my eyes at this.
Why are you talking to him if he not your friend. You seem like you know him. I left the theater and became a fox again.
I don't like deal with people. Humans have too much of a ego sometime. I went back to been in my human form once again. Why you ask me because sometime I'm too curious for my own good. Sometime I like to eat food even though I don't need to, listening to music is always good, looking for a good book, or just see how the world changes. I never need a reason to be either in my human form or my fox form.
And so the world changes from one century to the next. New thing pop up everwhere citys, cars, tvs, and phones.
Yes, I have a smart phone who doesn't these days.
I was in my human form. I been in my human form for awhile now. I just try to survive so I had to adapt to my surroundings.
One day I took a walk in St James's Park. I very fond of this park. It has a pond to bad it's duck pound. Duck can be such bullies. I was walking to the pond when I noticed I was being followed by some guy. Great, this is not what I need today. Oh by the way I decided to make my human form a woman from now on. I was try to lose the guy who was following me but I couldn't shake him.
"Damn!" I said under my breath.
I need to stop guy from following me. If I couldn't shake him the next best thing to do was to find some people to talk to which work most of the time.
I saw two guys setting on a bench feeding the ducks. Perfect, just what I needed to get this stalker to leave.
One guy setting on the bench had white hair and his friend had dark hair. I walk along the pond and wave at them.
"Hi guys, fancy meeting..."
I didn't get finish this sentence because I didn't know where I was going and was too close to the pond. I slipped and fell right into the water. I was now wet from head to toe. I looked at my stalker to white who seem to be worry if I was ok but dark just look at me like he was thinking how much more stupider can this girl get. I blushed at this and looked away.
The stalker and white seem to be getting ready to come to my rescue but stop because dark had beat them to it. He stood in fornt of me offering his hand to help me up.
"Here let me help you miss." He offered.
I give him my hand and he pull me helping me up but as soon as I was up on my feet dark took this opportunity just to sweep me off my feet and carry me out of the water and to the closest bench.
I held on to dark as he carry me. I saw my stalker was not happy and stormed off.
"You need to be more careful miss." Dark warned me.
"Ok." I manage to get out.
My attention was now on dark. He was hot, like male supermodel hot! He was tall, strong, and wore very stylish clothing which I bet now needed to be taken to the dry cleaners which I was probably end up paying for.
I try keep myself from look at him. It didn't stop me from smelling his cologne which smell really good. I held on tighter to him. My chest begin to tighten as well. I started to think happily that I wouldn't mean if dark never put me down.
Before I knew it I was setting on the bench. White came to see if I was hurt. Dark bend down and gently took my high heel boot off. He move up the pants leg of my jeans and took a look at my left ankle.
"She did a great job of twisting her ankle." Dark told white.
"Look really bad, don't worry my dear we take to the hospitals. You poor thing, you're shaking! Crowley give me your jacket so she can warm up." White said worryingly.
"No." Crowley said angrily. "We are not take her the hospitals. I'm not letting her set a foot in my Bentley so you can forget about it Aziraphale. If you want to help her get on your phone and call for someone else to help her."
"But she hurt, wet, and cold. I'm not going to just stand by and wait for someone else to help her. Look now you are scaring her. Don't worry miss Corwley may look all mean and scary but deep he just a big soft teddy bear." Aziraphale said try to reassuring me by patting my shouder.
Crowley shot him a look of pure anger. If looks could kill this one would have.
"Fine!" Said Crowley angrily. "Here, wear my jacket. I'm going to pick you up and carry you to the car ok?"
I nodded that I understood.
Once again Crowley pick me gently and carry me to his car. I rested my head on his chast has his cologne hit my nose again. I was started to having weird feeling. I was warm, safe, and happy in his arms. Yes, there were alarm Bells screaming in my head but I didn't care.
Aziraphale open the car door so Crowley could sit me down in the front seat of the car. Aziraphale got in the back seat and Corwley got into the driver side.
Crowley's driving can be described like he was in a car chase like in the movies. He was going 90 miles per hour which I knew wasn't speed limit in central London. I thought I was going to die on the way to the hospitals.
Thank to Crowley driving we got to the hospitals in no time. Crowley park the Bentley as close to the hospital entrance that he could get. He got out of the and came to my side and open the door.
"Put the jacket on and put your arms around my neck." Cowley said as he getting ready to pick me up again.
I did as I was told.
"That a good kitty." Crowley teased me.
"Just to let you know this kitty got claws! I might scratch you." I teased him back.
He stop and put his face close to mine.
"I wouldn't mind some scratching and bitting a little later after this if you catch my drift my little sex kitten." Crowley whisper teasley in my ear.
I turn bright red and try to hide my face.
"Damn you to hell!" I mumbled.
"No thank you, been there not a fan." Crowley mumbled.
Oops guess he heard me. Damn I need to work on my teasing game. Wait, what am I saying!
Been carry by Crowley I could tell that had he great body. Oh my god, I just want to shut my mind off. If you were thinking my imagination was running away with me with thoughts I dare not mention you would be right. I wish I wasn't immortal because I just wanted to die.
And Crowley was enjoying evey minute of torturing me.
We found a seating area and Crowley sat me in a chair. Aziraphale went up to the fornt desk to tell a nurse about my twisted ankle. Crowley set next to me. There a noise as my stomach rumbled.
"Are you hungry? I can get a treat as long you keep been a good kitty." Said Crowley enjoy this a bit too much for my taste.
"I'm little hungry but I can wait you needn't worry about me." Told him as I looked round the rest area so I didn't have to look at his face anymore.
This first time someone was make me hissing mad. I wish he just stop.
Crowley walk off and disappeared for a while. Aziraphale sat down on the chair on the other of me.
"We might be here awhile. Were did Crowley go?" Aziraphale wondered.
"I don't know and I don't care." I said as I folded my arms in front of me.
"I'm guessing Crowley been have some fun picking on you. I can tell him to stop if it annoys you." Said Aziraphale.
"No, that ok."
"Are you sure?"
"Yep, I'll just ignore him when he tries to pick on me again." I told Aziraphale and give him smile.
Aziraphale didn't seem so sure about it
Crowley finally came back and sit down next to me.
"Here!" Crowley drop a bag in my lap.
I opened the bag and inside was a sandwich, a bag of crisps, a couple of candy bar, and a coke.
"You didn't have to but thank you Crowley." I said happily.
I guess he really can be a nice guy not just a jerk.
"Well, later we can just ask the vet what kind food our little kitty should eat." Crowley tease me again.
"Crowley, I think that enough teasing her." Aziraphale told him.
"Here I through there hope for you become a better man but I guess even I can be wrong." I tease Crowley.
"You not helping yourself my dear. You might want to stop egging him on." Aziraphale try to warned me.
"Sorry I can't be a better man but maybe later you can find out what I really am." Crowley patting my head as he said this. "And since you're been such a good kitty we'll go buy you a catnip mouse. What do you think Aziraphale?"
"I think you two are out of your minds." Azriphale took out his phone and started to ignore us.
I ate the food Crowley gave me and hug Crowley jacket closer to myself.
I guess Crowley through I was getting cold because he put a arm around me and pull me closer to him to warm me up. I was almost in his lap. I smell his cologne again and I put head on his shouder. The smell of Crowley cologne seem to make me relax and I fell sleep. By the way I don't need to sleep but I do fine it help me to distress and cleared my mind. So I do sleep from time to time. Same with eating since I don't need to.
"Come on wake up, or do you want me to wake you with a kiss like in that stupid fairy tale." Crowley whispered in my ear.
" Eww, no thank you." I was grossed out at the thought of Crowley kissing me.
"You two stop that." Aziraphale warned us to behave ourselves.
A nurse came up to us with a wheelchair for me.
"Get in and I will wheel you to an examining room miss." The nurse said.
Crowley pick me up and put me in the wheelchair. The nurse wheel into a examininh room. The doctor came a few minutes later and examine my angle. Told me what all doctor will tell you about a twisted ankle. Stay off of it for a few days and let it rest. Also put some ice on it.
I was wheel back to rest area after I paid the bill.
Crowley and Aziraphale were waitting for me.
"Doctor told me to stay off my ankle for a few days." I told them.
"Tell us were you live and we will take you home." Asked Aziraphale.
I look down sadly. I must have worry Crowley a bit too.
"You don't have a home do you?" Asked Crowley.
"What?!" Aziraphale was shocked.
"I had a flat I share with a flatmate. My flatmate was a guy and he kick me out because I wouldn't go out with him." I told them. "But it ok I can alway stay at a hotel untill I fine another flat no big deal."
I try to get up out the wheelchair but Crowley stop me before Aziraphale could get to me. He pick me up out wheelchair.
"Hey, put down I can walk on my own you know." I told him.
"Stop, bad kitty! Stop acting so proud. You are staying at my place and I'm not take no for answer." Crowley yell at me.
Aziraphale look at me sadly. I couldn't get any words to come out. Why is Crowley been nice to me? I didn't trust anyone. I been alone for so long. Part of me want to trust them. I guess even I in my long immortal life get lonely.
3 notes
·
View notes
Note
ahhhh I have so many questions about living in Japan bc I am seriously considering doing so! could you please tell us some general stuff? or what is the view on homosexuality? on anime fans? are they really frowned upon? how well would I get by speaking only English at first? is vegetarianism common? what about yoga? sorry you don't have to answer all of that pick whatever you like better! ty!!
I applaud your ideals of living in a new place! That’s always an exciting type of goal - and also a very difficult one. Moving to a new apartment is hard enough - moving to a different country is much more so.
Before approaching any of your other questions, I’m gonna play devil’s advocate for a second and ask you - WHY?
Now, I know that this seems a bit rude. You might say “Look, Chekhov, it’s none of your business. I’m trying to ask you a question, that’s all. It’s my decision, after all.”
And you would be right. But let me explain my reasoning.... Ever since I started blogging about my experience in Japan, I’ve started to get MANY of these types of questions. SO MANY. If I had to guess, everyone and their brother wants to live in Japan. And a lot of times... they want to do so because they are informed by only the media and tourism sold to them by Japan - in the form of anime, or manga, or TV.
In other words... they’re misinformed, and they have a very narrow, warped view of the country, and they don’t really understand what they’re getting into.
Now... I’m not judging you - or anyone else. But I want to be as realistic as possible. Because if you’re going to uproot your life and move somewhere across the sea, you need to have as much HONEST and straightforward information as you can before you end up coming here and realising that you didn’t fully prepare yourself.
Still, you’re asking me questions now, so that’s great! It means that you’re seeking out the information and making an effort. That’s a great first step!
Let’s get started.
I would recommend, first and foremost, starting with my ‘#japan’ tag on this tumblr.
I have written lots about different topics - including LGBT discussions - from the perspective of someone who has lived in Japan a few years. Now, that is a disclaimer - a FEW YEARS! ONLY! I am not a Japanese native, I am not someone who has been here for a decade. I have lived here for 4 years, and no more. My point of view is limited, and my opinions should be taken with a grain of salt.
The rest of your questions I’m gonna answer very simply, and you can read more on the tag if you want details.
1. Homosexuality in Japan?
Basically, there’s almost no violence towards lgbt community. However, there’s heavy ostracizing and ignoring they exist. Coming out as homosexual might still cost you your job, especially if you work with children. The homophobia and transphobia on national television makes this monster problem fatter. Also be prepared for “What’s ‘gay’?” and “That’s something the foreigners invented. We don’t have ‘gay’ people here.”
2. Anime fans? In Japan? It’s more likely than you think.
I mean, I think this one is a little bit funny (sorry, I swear I’m not laughing at you). Anime is... it’s.... they’re cartoons! They’re cartoons, in Japan. Kids love cartoons no matter what country. Adults who like cartoons also exist in every country. How they’re treated usually depends on how they present themselves. Are you gonna get side-eye for wearing an anime-titties shirt to work? Hell yeah, don’t do that shit. But is someone going to bully you for having, idk, a Fullmetal Alchemist keychain on your backpack?? Hell no. Plenty of people like anime, especially the younger generation.
The key is - there’s a solid difference between liking anime and enjoying it in your freetime, and... idk... not being able to identify the situations in which anime should not be your priority.
3. "Can you speak English?”
Honestly, this one is something I’m gonna put my foot down on - as an immigrant myself, and as an English teacher, I say that.... If you are an immigrant that is WILLINGLY moving into a country, with plans to do so far in advance that you have a few years to prepare... you should study Japanese before you get here. It doesn’t have to be perfect, and it doesn’t have to be a lot. But you should at least do your best to pick up the basics.
If you’re planning to go into a metropolitan area like Tokyo or Osaka, then sure, you can get by with only English. But why should you wait to study the language until you arrive there? There’s plenty of free resources to at least learn the basic alphabet and a few key phrases before you arrive. It’s a giant help when you’re first settling in, and it’s also way more respectful to the people around you. They will also respond more kindly to you, knowing that you’re doing your best to communicate on their terms.
4. “Do you have a vegetarian option?”
“Yes, sure, here’s a salad.“
“This has bacon bits on it...?”
“No, no, dear, that’s only for flavor. No meat.“
"Sorry, but I can’t eat meat.”
“Well, okay, let me get you one with chicken instead.”
Now, are you ready to have this conversation? I hope so, because I guarantee you, this WILL happen at least once. Probably more than once.
Well, I’ll let up. Sure, Japan is slowly coming into the vegetarian-options. However, by and large the vegetarian options are limited. Fish stock is so common that it’s added to everything without marking it as being an animal product.
It’s entirely possible to live as a happy vegetarian. I know many people that do! But I guarantee you it will be 200% harder if you don’t speak Japanese and can’t read food labels.
5. Yo.... ga?
Err, I’m not sure I get this one, actually. Like, is yoga popular? Is there a yoga studio? Sure, probably? Somewhere? I’m a bit lost on this one. I’m gonna say ‘yes, yoga.’
Some other points to consider:
Where do you want to live. In a big city like Tokyo? Prices are high, and apartments are tiny. Are you sure you can afford it? Often, getting an apartment involves paying something called Key Money AND a deposit. A deposit is one of your rent month’s worth of money. Key money is TWICE the amount of one month’s rent, and you don’t get it back. It’s just a gift to the person you’re renting from. Also, I don’t want to be even more depressing but many lenders don’t want to deal with foreigners and won’t rent to them as a rule unless they bring along a Japanese friend to translate for them. Sometimes not even then.
What job will you be supporting yourself with? If you’re limited to jobs that don’t need a knowledge of Japanese, this will definitely be harder. Many of the jobs that will take you on despite no Japanese knowledge are limited to ‘English teacher‘ positions. Can you teach English? Do you like kids?
Most of Japan isn’t like Tokyo. There’s a lot of countryside - where people speak even less English, and there’s no nearby shopping malls, and only one train station to take you out to a big city - that’s an hour away.
Sorry, I know this is kinda harsh and very negative. But moving to a different country isn’t something to be taken lightly, and you need to be realistic about your goals if you’re going to be aiming high.
If you want some alternatives, I would recommend checking out the JET Program. It’s a government funded Teach-English-In-Japan type deal that is very supportive with participants and helps them get living situations set up and gets them jobs. It’s probably the easiest way to get into Japan.... but it also requires you to become a teacher. It’s not a fun touristy trip. It’s also highly selective, and the application process takes about a year.
Either way, hope I wasn’t too discouraging! Good luck!
190 notes
·
View notes