#kids be like

[a-meh]

[stopallsnowblind]

Lately when my kid wants his dad to do something for him, he’ll say, “Be a dear, and [insert task here].” It’s very on brand for His Highness, the Only Child Prince of the Palace.

This morning it was, “Be a dear, and have a great day at work.” Usually it’s a “bring me my water/help me find my blanket/I can’t reach the peanut butter” type of situation.

But every time he does it, I can so vividly picture what Harry would have been like had James and Lily survived to see the big kid sass develop. Like he finds out James is an Animagus, or just finally understands that the deer that likes to mow the backyard is his dad, and he’s got all the jokes.

Suddenly every time he needs something from James he’s all, “Be a deer, and do this for me, won’t you?”

[bryonyashaw]

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[soratayuya]

This is considered an extremely good day for the average kid in the United States school system

so one of the high school buses flipped over and this was the picture they used in the newspaper

[tvguts]

i think we've done a great job expanding the view of what a child's favorite animal can be. kids these days can say they love axolotls or pangolins or coelecanths and their decision is respected. maybe their parents can even find them a stuffed animal of it if they know where to look. and i think that's beautiful

[apollos-boyfriend]

i’m gonna cry it’s raining right now and i just passed by a family where both parents were without an umbrella but their kid who couldn’t have been older than like 3-4 was proudly holding this GIANT umbrella whose diameter was as tall (if not taller) as the kid. both the parents were getting absolutely drenched but u could tell the kid was just so happy to have an “adult” task and carry the umbrella themselves and i think that sacrifice is what love is all about

[sparrowlucero]

like the most politically neutered movie of all time unironically

[a-meh]

[ladyshinga]

Doctors should snark at each other more, be a bit mean. Not for no reason, mind you. But if five doctors blow me off about symptoms and doctor number six FINALLY runs actual tests and gets a diagnosis, I think it should be Doctor Six's right to call up the other five and tell them they're lazy pieces of shit. That should be socially encouraged. Those first five doctors clearly can't listen to patients, but maybe another doctor might finally get to them.

[fromcainwithlove]

author’s notes today: hey guys so just a warning there isn’t 100% explicit verbal consent even though they’re both really into it so remember this is FICTION, also they don’t use a condom :((( but in real life safe sex is important!!! please be safe out there everyone

a/n back in the day: kept thinking about ____ stabbing knives through both of _____’s hands to pin him in place while they fucked so here you go lol =P

[ctrl-alt-deleting-yr-face]

goncharoved

[acorviart]

not to sound like a boomer, but I need some people to learn how to write emails in a semi-professional (at the very least) format so you're not cold emailing a business/potential employer/any other stranger about formal matters in the exact same way you'd DM a close friend on instagram

the formality/language can loosen up in the email chain once you've established a rapport and you match the other person if they're being less formal, but please don't have the very first email you send a stranger be written in all lowercase ultra-casual sms slang with no greeting or signature and a billion emojis

[markwateneymemorialcrater]

Please note. The orange one is not included because A. He isn’t a billionaire. And B. Calling him obnoxious is too kind for him.

[stopallsnowblind]

Me @ my 7yo: “Y’know, for a sentient tumor you really do give me a whole lot of shit.”

[a-meh]

If your kid can't do this I don't want it near me.