#kids be like
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#five nights at freddy's#five nights at freddy's movie#FNAF#FNAF MOVIE#balloon boy#jump scare#yourblendedfamily#blumhouse productions#video game#parenthood be like#snack time#snackish#kids be like#parenting life#FNAF meme#thriller#joey doesn't share food#horror#freddy faz bear#coryxkenshin#kids are scary#parent humour#supernatural horror#motherhood journey#parenthood#sarcastic humour#FNAF edit#parenting the shit out of life#freddy fazzbears pizza#fnaf movie
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lol who is doing this? I did the opposite; they’re heckin boring as teens so I hope they come around again when they hit their twenties and thirties. That’s when you can tell if you did a good job as their “fun aunt/uncle/cousin” etc when they were young.
I know that a lot of you are banking on having little to do with your nephews/neices as children and then becoming their "cool aunt" once they become teenagers, but I think that you will find, upon analysis, that a random middle-aged woman stepping into a whole-ass teenager's life and arbitrarily declaring herself to be a "cool aunt" is, in fact, the least cool thing it's possible to do.
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i’m gonna cry it’s raining right now and i just passed by a family where both parents were without an umbrella but their kid who couldn’t have been older than like 3-4 was proudly holding this GIANT umbrella whose diameter was as tall (if not taller) as the kid. both the parents were getting absolutely drenched but u could tell the kid was just so happy to have an “adult” task and carry the umbrella themselves and i think that sacrifice is what love is all about
#icarus speaks#they were so cute 😭#i cannot emphasize how large the umbrella was compared to them#and the parents looked as happy as u could be while being rained on too#like it was clear they didn’t mind that much bc the kid was so happy#i love kids so much they’re so everything#containment breach
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Doctors should snark at each other more, be a bit mean. Not for no reason, mind you. But if five doctors blow me off about symptoms and doctor number six FINALLY runs actual tests and gets a diagnosis, I think it should be Doctor Six's right to call up the other five and tell them they're lazy pieces of shit. That should be socially encouraged. Those first five doctors clearly can't listen to patients, but maybe another doctor might finally get to them.
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i feel like a lot of the 'i hate kids' crowd would be more tolerant if they understood that due to a kid's limited experience of the world that 4 hour flight might just be the longest they've ever had to sit still for or that trapped finger might literally be the most pain they've ever felt in their short life or they might not have ever seen a person with pink hair ever so of course they want to touch it or nobody's told them yet that they can't run around the museum and they only just learned cheetahs are the fastest animals so of course they want to put that to the test. how were they supposed to know etc etc.
#like majority of the time kids are not just 'being naughty'. they have big feelings inside little bodies it's a lot#also like.#it should be illegal to dye your hair fun colours if you aren't prepared for kids in public to ask if youre related to a my little pony#EDIT: the notes on this post are an absolute cesspool. i don't care about your reasons for hating kids you sound like a disney villain
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Please note. The orange one is not included because A. He isn’t a billionaire. And B. Calling him obnoxious is too kind for him.
#billionaire#rich people#Elon would just be insufferable#just the worst case of “needs to be the smartest kid in the room syndrome ever#I feel Zuckerberg has actually worked on himself a lot lately and he would be reasonably chill to hang out with#still evil#but he doesn’t come across as insecure alien anymore#bezos also seems like he’d actually be a cool guy to hang out with#again. still super evil#but I think I could survive a few hours stuck with him without bludgeoning myself to death
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goncharoved
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If your kid can't do this I don't want it near me.
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[ID: A piece of paper (looks like it's magneted to a surface) with a child's handwritten note that reads: "Mummy, I am [underlined] Very coughy and feel porrly so I am writing a letter to comincate insted of talking. I would like to have a sick day please
P.S. I have a sore thourt
Thank you"
/end ID]
Today’s school run chaos featured:
- Dr Glass, a long covid haver, was not on scene.
- bear(7) excused themselves with a Formal Letter, which was accepted.
- bug(4) however demanded to go to school, as they have a phonics test and are planning to surpass their fiancé on it
- mouse(1.5) after doing some strategic nonverbal squeaking and begging, was presented with a highly desirable used butter knife, adorned with Nutella residue, in a fit of absentmindedness by myself. Normally, house policy is that Mouse is not armed, but I was distracted and their squeaking was so confident that it just sort of happened. Mouse then carefully licked the knife clean and secreted it in a very clever place for later.
- the very clever place was down the neck of their sleepsuit/footie pajamas, so it slid down into their foot; upon being taken down after breakfast, they tried to subtly retrieve it and ALMOST got away with it.
- “MOUSE HAS A KNIFE”
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you know he would have been one of Those kids
inspired by this pic:
#it's me. i'm THose kids. years on ppl were still like “hey u were the guy who drew really cool dragons”#dungeon meshi#dunmeshi#laios touden#laios dungeon meshi
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author’s notes today: hey guys so just a warning there isn’t 100% explicit verbal consent even though they’re both really into it so remember this is FICTION, also they don’t use a condom :((( but in real life safe sex is important!!! please be safe out there everyone
a/n back in the day: kept thinking about ____ stabbing knives through both of _____’s hands to pin him in place while they fucked so here you go lol =P
#i’m not saying it was better at all! i just find the contrast hilarious#no one posted stories with the belief that readers would use them as instruction manuals#kids today write author’s notes like they’re about to be sued for practicing without a license
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• The Hanged Man •
“Compared to what Falin went through? This is nothing.”
#my art#laios touden#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#dunmeshi laios#hanged man#falin touden#dungeon meshi spoilers#cw blood#walk it off kid walk it off#I really thought hanged man was a good choice for this moment#hanged man is all about sacrifice and introspection and intuition#and a moment of trials that lead to clarity#also when he was falling??? with the blood out of the dragons mouth???#stunning#i love him so much#the line art for this was so fast and then I colored and revolted the flats for like. 20 hours#like how it turned out in the end tho#kavaleyre
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she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.
my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.
my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.
my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.
at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.
my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.
i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.
two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.
it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.
#writeblr#wlw#i often think about like.....#being happy in a gay relationship is sometimes so odd#bc u can forget how stupid ppl are.#bc ur so USED to being gay. and u forget other people GENUINELY ARE homophobic#so it's like. girl pardon?????#but also there are moments where it's like. ohhh the kids are alright#like watching someone razz someone else.... so fucking wholesome#“lemme get this bitche's pronouns before i make gentle fun of them” .... i would have KILLED for that.#THAT is how u know ur accepted#not just tolerated#..... when ppl are like. sure ur nonbinary congrats but WHAT is this fucking sunscreen application#ps idk if "razz'' is a real word but someone asked what it means -#i've always heard it as being a term for 'gentle & friendly teasing'' which like#i personally notice more from my guy friends but is like - when a person isn't#LIKE ACTUALLY teasing u (it's nothing personal/mean) they're just laughing w/you about something#my friends often put on a little voice and call me an anemic little bitch#like 'ooooo the anemic little bitch is cold??? does she need a mouse blanket#bc she's SOOOO SMALL AND ANEMIC???''#and it doesn't hurt my feelings (it makes me laugh very hard) bc 1. i actually called MYSELF that first#and 2. i'm not sensitive about it!!!#a proper razz is when you are ALSO in on the joke - i ALSO think it's funny#for some people i personally find that when they razz u it's when they love u -#they've noticed something genuine about u and love u enough that u know they're not being mean#this is cultural and personality based of course but i'm hispanic#if someone isn't making fun of me it means they hate me . obviously.
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…oh Frick I think I had this CD
in junior year of highschool my art teacher would let our ceramics class play music of our choice off of her desktop. we usually used spotify or youtube but she did have one album downloaded on her computer. it was a halloween sound effects/ambience collection. i dont remember why she had it. there was a track on there called "burning screams" which was exactly what it sounds like. just a cacophony of screams alongside crackling fire. she only let us play it on very special occasions, and we would cheer and jump with joy every time. it was like a pizza party to us
#omfg#do I still have it#I have to go dig now#Halloween#kids be like#teenagers be like#school#teachers be like#music#song#Halloween music#funny
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