#kenny mccormick stan account

[heartz4via]

Kyman/Kenman antis dni !!

Intro stuff

I am Oktavia ! I'm a 17 year old genderfluid lesbian with a fixation on South Park, specifically Kenny McCormick and Craig Tucker! They're my sons, actually.

I do art, and I roleplay occasionally! So, if that's something you're into, dm me maybe!

Though I will only play them 17+, because I am 17, and I don't feel like writing for 10 year olds

Also please be 16+ when roleplaying with me

At some point in the future I'll probably post my headcanons for characters and such!

Roleplay Info

Writing Style: Semi literate

Timezone: PST

Triggers/Discomforts: rape, incest

Genres: Romance, drama, angst

Characters I'll play:

Kenny McCormick (main)

Craig Tucker (main)

Kyle Broflovski

Clyde Donovan

Michael (goth kid)

Damien Thorn

Wendy Testaburger

Ships:

Kyman

Kenman

Dip

Style

Cryde

Tolkyle

Stendy

Stenny

I'm also open to others, just ask!

Other fandoms I'm in:

Miraculous Ladybug

Welcome home

Hazbin Hotel

Metal Family (CHESGLAM SHIPPERS PLEASE 😭)

Black Butler

Death Note

OHSHC

IT

Stranger Things

Creepypasta/Marble Hornets/EverymanHybrid (I like to cross them over, that's why I lumped them all together, but I do know that Marble Hornets and EMH aren't Creepypasta)

Genshin Impact

Honkai Star Rail

Or like, OC stuff idrc!

Anyhow, I'm always looking for friends and roleplay partners! If you wouldn't want to do it on here, I also have Discord, so you can always ask me for that!

[0-dear-rose-0]

[nyazaii]

Ass burgers killed my grandma

[shroomerr]

erm hi ehe uh have a dump of all of my doodles over these past few weeks of my sp oc ft some of the other characters (im drowning in assignments you guys someone lend a hand oh god I’m drowningbllsdhdsbja)

[explodingsillycat]

they’re so sillyyy

[tvdzn]

Stan has always been bad at giving gifts, but this year he wants Kenny’s to be special. As he searches for the perfect present, he realizes something he had never put into words before: how much he loves him.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/63404323

[broflovmarshick]

Stan Marsh…the unfavorite child🥲

(Yeah yeah I didn’t exactly help matters lol)

(Also that’s my main account @skyguygeneraltano pfp follow if you like Star Wars and other miscellaneous fandoms)

[vanoilette]

୨ᰍ sypnosis. beach day w the main four ! — going to the beach with them.

disclaimers. light swearing, suggestive content.

notes. ugh just got swarmed with tons of homework :( + two upcoming ken fics !

eric cartman.

literally like a guard dog.

everytime he sees someone staring at you for two seconds too long he takes it into account, and attacks them with insults. because as he puts it, the view is only for his eyes.

is drooling all over you but hides it, stares holes into the back of your head, and other places.

besides that he treats you as usual, but with his own kind of attention—such as calling you pretty, his queen. etc. [ im sorry i cant help but make cartman a mix of a bastard and simp ]

asked you to put sunscreen on him, mostly just chills on the beach instead of actually swimming.

sort of follows around everywhere you go when hes not sitting down.

falls asleep while hes laying on the beach chair and and gets a sunburn, is crying to you the next day how much it burns.

screams when he sees his skin peels.

back to the actual beach part, he always holds your hand, even when laying down, as long as your beside or near him at least.

is mean to almost everyone there, especially if their “in his way.”

kenny mccormick.

is all over you, never lets you get even a breath of space.

opposite of cartman, and actually begs you to swim with him.

lets be honest, hes putting his face in your chest, no matter how small or big they are, he just loves em’

doesn’t even mind when other people are looking at you, he loves showing you off because he loves showing other people what they can’t get.

swipes drinks off the bar when other people aren’t looking.

if someone flirts with you or him, he makes it very clear that he is not interested, and if your the one being flirted with he is standing right behind you.

although, if your not able enough to stand up for that, he’ll gladly deal with it for you.

he loves swimming but if you offer to lay down with him, he’ll pass on swimming, just the feeling of being with you is much more of a rewarding feeling then feeling the hot sunlight on him and cold waters.

brings a bunch of convenience store snacks so you don’t have to buy any of the ones they serve there.

calls you his belladonna

kyle broflovski.

brings tons of things, a canopy, chairs, snacks, sunscreen, etc.

insists on putting on sunscreen, puts it on you aswell : ]

even if he is a pretty pale guy.

carries you almost everywhere, he treats you especially special because he doesn’t want you to lift a finger or worry your pretty little head.

is in between, hes fine with swimming and chilling, its up to you.

a bit off topic but he loves when you call him pretty boy, it can get him to do anything, just something i wanted to point out.

if you just so happen to praise him for being so helpful, or taking cafe of you the entire day, he acts as if its not that big of a deal. As humbly as possible.

swimming with him is fun because i feel hes a bit competitive with it. he tries to swim all super far away.

remember that episode where the waterpark floods with pee? yeah, thats what terrifies him.

that takes him a while to get in the water.

stan marsh.

frankly; was not his idea to go to the beach, but once he goes he’s running straight to the water.

the type to hold his breath under water just because.

probably falls asleep when he does lay down after all the running and swimming, or shoves food down his throat.

after his nap wakes up with sand in his mouth and freaks the fuck out.

doesn’t even try to hide it, he straight up swipes drinks off the bar and if someone mentions anything—he doesn’t even spare them a glance.

brings one of the digital cameras and takes photos of you two.

got chased by a dog.

forgets that sunscreen exists and gets sunburned terribly.

as soon as he gets home he tapes the photos on his walls.

mostly a chill guy at the beach.

[basilsnotemo]

Update it’s posted:

Should I be asleep rn? Yeah I should but instead I’m writing chapter 5 of my South Park IT fanfic

[voltaridylla]

Hi Volta! What are your top ten fic recs (any ship, any length) ?

Dude I have so many recommendations of fics that have like… changed my life. Like it’s dramatic but I reread them and I get filled with so much nostalgia and love for them- sometimes the second read is better than the first and you spot the details of characterisation and easter eggs!! So allow me to just ramble my appreciations for these fics (I go on tangents a lot whoops)

So I feel I must mention this first but

1) Bloodlust - Libbywednesday

This fic got me back into the fandom when I saw the animatic on youtube!! I was hooked and read it in a day. I loved the grittiness and the slow burn aspect of it, the characterisations were also amazing!

2) The Thief Trilogy - Wintergrew

I read this fic straight after I completed Stick of Truth!!! MY GOD… it’s amazing. It’s a favourite Creek fic of mine but it wasn’t just the romance, it was the action and the amount of world building that went into it that truly made it spellbinding. I read it in like five days and it has one of my favourite characterisations of Tweek to be honest!!! This fic was also what made me get an ao3 account.

3) Stan Marsh and the Lost Lyre - Alottodix

Okay- this was the first fic I read when I got an ao3 account and I am in love with it!!! I may not have read Percy Jackson or know much about it but this fic made me WISH I did. It’s amazing, the narration, storytelling and the characters are so well written and it brings me so many feelings of how it felt when I first read fantasy as a kid!! Like it’s just so cosy and the found family dynamic is just SO good. Also @alottodix has the best characterisation of Cartman, rereading passages gave me a deeper appreciation!!

4) Chaos Plan - Helioleti

THIS FIC MADE ME CRY. BAWL. SOB. Like I was crying at 2am even though I had a shift next morning LMAO. This is such a good fic, it’s quite dark with themes and it reads like a suspense/mystery. It reminds me a lot of the film ‘Brick’ with Joseph Gordon-Levitt and I love that aspect of it- solving the mystery and the characterisation of Kenny is so fucking amazing. I highly recommend reading the Chaos Plan extra - I read it because I needed more Chaos Plan content and it was so worth it.

5) I Will Make of You - Purplepeptobeismol

This fic also made me cry- but happy tears this time lmao. As you can tell I’m just very emotional. This fic is one of the best for original character at the centre but still weaving it into canon- I LOVE COOPER MCCORMICK!! Reading this was a blast and I loved the amount of research that went to it such as time travel and all that (I’m not gonna spoil the rest but just AAAA) it’s so good and the writing is so good and I found myself emotionally invested.

6) Top 3 reasons to not open a multidimensional time rift: number one will surprise you - Clearly_Nonsense

THIS FIC IS SO GOOD!!! It has the zaniness of South Park and it’s done so well, I found myself laughing out loud at some passages!! I loved the multidimensional aspect and how characters from FBW/SOT/SP would interact in these different settings. I also love Tool Shed <3 he’s my favourite character in this fic (Brazilian Tool Shed FOR LIFE) !!! I also need to mention the art work that’s in the fic is AMAZING- it captures the scenes so well. It’s so good and y’all should follow @up-side-in-side-out for their art!!

7) The Gods Watched Over Us - Ursamajorstories

AAAA if you love Atlantis and Road to El Dorado this fic is for you!! It has incan Craig/explorer Tweek and it’s so good. I loved the characterisations and the writing was IMPECCABLE. Like it was so vivid with imagery and it’s like a comfort read honestly. I also loved the world building as well and it was another fic I read when I first got my ao3 account!!!

8) Groomsmen - Apricotkittycat

I LOVE THIS FIC!!! I love their take on style in this fic and Stan and Wendy’s friendship <3 I also love Ike and Marjorine in it too. The concept is kind of like Slice of Life-ish but then BAM there’s a whole mystery to solve. It’s a great spin on things. The narrative is great and I love so many scenes that I can’t say for fear of spoiling but I highly recommend it- I read it in a day!!

9) The Perks of Being an Eldritch Abomination - PheonixKenny

I know I mentioned it earlier but this fic is AMAZING!! I LOVE cthulhu Kenny and this fic did so much effort with the body horror aspect of his curse taking on physical form - also there’s a lot of comfort so it’s really sweet and I loved the friendship dynamics. Really good- I love it!!

10) I saw the Stars in Your Tail - Craigtuckeradvocate

I will always love this fic. I read it when I was 12 or 13 and it has such a special place in my heart (I’m also a sucker for mermaid AUS.) THIS WAS AMAZING - I loved the romance between Craig and Tweek and it’s stays with me ever since. I’ll probably cry reading it because of nostalgia and how long time has passed. <3

Sorry this took forever but here are fics I LOVE and am obsessed with forever <33

[mantequillamcwhoremick]

Chaos Plan - Chapter 23

new chapter out!

Fic Summary:

Five years ago, Linda Stotch took her own life in their house’s living room. That same week, her son Butters disappeared. Three months ago, a new bar opened up near the car mechanic’s workshop Kenny works at. And four days ago, a third of all South Park residents’ bank accounts froze up. Somehow these events are all connected. And the police believe Mysterion is the right man for the job.

Chapters: 23/35

Rating: Mature

Categories: Gen, M/M

Relationships:

Kenny McCormick/Leopold "Butters" Stotch Kyle Broflovski & Kenny McCormick Karen McCormick & Kenny McCormick Kyle Broflovski/Stan Marsh

Words: 136,829

[karinathebutterwolf2k5]

My "South Park" OC, Steven "Stevie" Marsh

This is Steven Marsh, also known as Stevie Marsh. Steven "Stevie" Marsh is my first "South Park" OC, as well as my first OC overall. He serves as Stan Marsh's younger brother, similar to how Karen McCormick serves as Kenny McCormick's younger sister.

I created Stevie because like Kenny, Stan has an older sibling; Kenny has an older brother named Kevin, and Stan has an older sister named Shelley. Unlike Kenny, however, Stan DOESN'T have a younger sibling. So, I gave him a younger sibling; a younger BROTHER, that is. And why did I give Stan a younger BROTHER and not a younger SISTER, you might ask? Two words: Gender. Equality.

Moving on, Stevie's personality is similar to Karen's personality. This is because, if I remember my researching correctly, Shelley and Kevin have similar personalities too; they are both mean, snobby, and perhaps stubborn. Karen, on the other hand, is shy, yet much more nice and gentle than Kevin. So, as such, Stevie will be shy, yet much more nice and gentle than Shelley.

As for the design, I am so sorry if it looks somewhat unoriginal. I used sp-studio.de, which is a doll maker website. I used that website because I can't draw in the style of "South Park", neither traditionally nor digitally. Regardless, I will reupload this on my DeviantArt account. Hopefully, because it's still deactivated, and the poll asking if I should reactivate it or not will close tonight.

Anyways, below is a background-less version of the picture in the beginning.

Feel free to ask any questions or suggest/request any changes involving my "South Park" OC, Stevie Marsh!

[corporatefrog]

꒦‧₊ ꒷ Sleepovers w/ Team Stan [Headcanons] ✧.*

✧.* tags: comedy, college au

✧.* Charactions: stan marsh, kenny mccormick, kyle broflovski, butters stotch

a/n: I haven't had a sleepover in years and this has made me want to have one with my friends so badly.

masterlist

Monthly sleepovers are a friend group requirement

Cartman is invited on a month by month basis depending on how much of a bitch he’d been in the past month

It’s a great way to keep him in line

“Why do the gays get a pride month and there’s nothing left for us straights?”

“That’s strike 3.”

“WHAT! I didn’t even do anything this month! Who the fuck died and made you king of the sleepover?!”

“Uh- I don’t know. The sleepover behavior etiquette contract that you signed with blood.”

“God fucking DAMMIT.”

You all go to Stan’s usually since it’s outside of town so you can be loud if you want

And get blasted but thats a tale for another time

After the sun sets, the real party begins

Aka eating pizza and talking shit 

“Clyde doesn’t know how to do laundry”

“You’re kidding.”

“I’m literally not. I was at Tweek Bro’s and he spilled some of his drink on his shirt and he goes ‘Now I’ve got to throw this away.’ and I almost choked on my drink, I swear to god. I told him he just needed to wash it and he deadass goes ‘How do you do that?’”

Butters gets so much tea just from overhearing it or people complaining to him 

He LOOKS like a nice guy who empathetically listens

But Professor Chaos on the other hand is remembering every juicy detail about what Bebe sai to Nichole at the mall last week 

Just saying- when the gossip girl south park account comes out, you know who’d behind that shit

Just Dance competitions FOR SURE

Butter is a kpop stan i can feel it

Yall do dynamite and he’s DEMOLISHING 

I said before than stan is the type to only move his arm

But that’s totally kyle

Kenny and Stan go ALL OUT 

That guitar hero gave him mad rhythm

But they get so into the full body dancing that the remote doesn’t pick up the right movements and they end up with like 30 points 

They always TRY the tetris one 

But their ambition outplays their actual ability and it ends with them falling into a pile on the floor

I feel like New Girl would be a group favorite binging show 

“Stan you’re so nick miller coded”

“If I’m nick miller, kyle is the most schmidt to ever exist” 

“Schmidt is fucking hilarious so that’s a compliment. Nick is just an alcoholic.” 

“Okay man fuck off you’re just mad that you can’t be winston.”

“Yeah that’s because I’m winston and Butters is Jess.”

“Yn you’re fucking Robbie.”

“Kenny say sike right now before I throw your soda out the window.”

You all DEFINITELY try to play true american 

And it goes TERRIBLY

Why would you play a game where you have to jump from surface to surface with someone prone to dying 

After the 3rd time Kenny falls off a chair you guys stick to uno or some shit

Midnight taco bell adventures 

they know your fucking order and get annoyed whenver you pull through the drive through

Like god these dumb fuckers again

But you give them a nice tip

And feast on the taco bell in the parking lot while laughing at whoever did the dumbest thing during the night

Wonderful vibes, truly immaculate

[gaystan]

(clip ends)

jimmy: ooh, my best friends are fighting.

craig: and that’s from the latest episode of fireside chats, featuring kenny mccormick. we’ve provided a clip so you don’t actually have to make yourself listen to an episode of fireside.

tolkien: jesus, those two are dicks.

craig: as we can see, cartman takes accountability like a woman.

jimmy: one of the million feminine qualities of cartman.

tolkien: both are wrong here, by the way. cartman is obviously delusional about his weight and health but kyle calling out cartman as harshly as possible on an episode, and not even trying to be funny about it, just being an asshole, pretending he's only doing it out of genuine concern and not for his own bitter misanthropy.

craig: kyle talks all this shit about cartman dying young- which he is right about- but we all know kyle is absolutely going to kill himself.

clyde: cartman, i know you’re listening to this. switch to vodka sodas for dinner. doing that enabled me to lose 100 pounds.

craig: you’re still an addict that’s gonna die soon-

clyde: soon-ish. and at least i don’t look like a complete slob. here’s the thing, coming from a former fat person-

jimmy: former?

clyde: former enough. listen, fat shaming doesn’t work but fat shaming doesn’t NOT work. nothing works.

craig: the years have been unkind to kyle. he’s a fundamentally unhappy person. he knows how to get under people’s skin-

clyde: are you saying this because of the episode where they tear into you for wanting to fuck stan marsh. i know that really got to you, dude.

craig: i’m not. and it didn’t. kyle knows how to get under people’s skin because he himself is just one week away from suicide. he just doesn’t care. cartman is an easy target because as horrendous as he is he’s generally happier with himself than the average person.

[underworld-park-offical]

KENNY: Aww shit.

TOLKIEN: What?

KENNY: I fucked up this water sort puzzle level.

TOLKIEN: I don’t…

TOLKIEN: I DON’T HAVE WATER SORT PUZZLE???

KENNY: Well.

KENNY: You do now.

TOLKIEN: Kenneth.

TOLKIEN: How much battery is left on my phone.

KENNY: Errrrrmmmmmm….

KENNY: …

TOLKIEN: Kenneth. Jason. McCormick.

TOLKIEN: If my battery is below 50% I am going to beat your ass.

KENNY: …

KENNY: …. 25%....

TOLKIEN: Right. That’s it. I’m beating your ass.

KENNY: WAITWAITWWAITWAIWTIATWW.

TOLKIEN: What.

KENNY: Please don’t beat my ass!

TOLKIEN: Give me one good reason to not to.

KENNY: UH- uhhhhhh….

KENNY: Craig!

TOLKIEN: What.

KENNY: He- He has a portable charger!

KENNY: 

CRAIG: Erm, Kenny, what the ACTUAL sigma, you fucking L rizz fanum tax.

CRAIG: Who the FUCK are you to spread these rumors about me?!

CRAIG: Literally canceling you on Tumblr rn.

CRAIG: Smh my head, this is SO not that that me espresso! 

TOLKIEN: Shut the fuck up, Craig…

CRAIG: Let me Mountain Dew it for ya. 

KENNY: Bro my ass is boutta to become grass in two minutes if you don’t give it to me!!!

CRAIG: Ok, and?

CRAIG: Skill issue.

KENNY: CRAIG, PLEASE!!!!

CRAIG: Erm, chat, do you see this loser?

KENNY: CRAAAAAAAAAIGGGGG!!!!

TOLKIEN: That’s it.

TOLKIEN: Kenny, c’mere.

KENNY: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

(WHACK BAM WHAM UUUUUWAAAAAHHHHHHHHH) 

CRAIG: Whhhh...

CRAIG: W--

CRAIG: Chat.

CRAIG: Chat what the flip.

CRAIG: What the actual sigma.

CRAIG: Th--

CRAIG: …

CRAIG: GUYS SHUT THE ACTUAL FREAK UP!!!!

CRAIG: THIS IS LIKE SO SUPER IMPORTANT THIS IS NOT SKIBIDI WHAT THE SIGMA.

CRAIG: IM GONNA ACTUALLY JEFF THE KILL MYSELF.

KENNY: OH WHERE WAS THIS ATTITUDE WHILE TOLKIEN JEFF THE KILLED ME???

TOLKIEN: Let’s be real, you brought that on yourself.

KENNY: No <3

TOLKIEN:

TOLKIEN: I’m surrounded by idiots.

STAN: WOULD IDIOTS BE TRYING TO ABDUCT YOU IN YOUR SLEEP????

TOLKIEN: Aaaand we woke up Shane Dawson.

TOLKIEN: Great.

TOLKIEN: Perfect.

TOLKIEN: Wonderful.

TOLKIEN: What next, the piss baby?

CRAIG: TOLKIEN THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO TALK ABOUT YOUR L RIZZ KAI CENAT ZERO GYATT!!

CRAIG: MY ARCH NEMESIS GREGORY_CUTIE_PIE_3RD.

CRAIG: HAS STOLEN MY ACCOUNT INFORMATION.

STAN: HE WORKS FOR THEM!!!

STAN:THE GOVERNMENT!!!! THE ALIENS!!! ALL OF THEM!!!

STAN: THE GAYS ARE THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL!!!

CRAIG: YEAH! THIS IS THE FAGS FAULT!

TOLKIEN: Oh my fucking goddd….

STAN: FAG? FEROCIOUS ANONYMOUS GOVERNMENT SPY!

STAN: IT’S CONFIRMED!!!

KYLE: Guys, it's Pride Month.

KYLE: Don’t do this right now.

CRAIG: EWWW!!!! FAGGOTRY!!!!

CARTMAN: Uhm? Excuse me? Your attitudes towards gay people is deeply offensive and completely unacceptable. How can you justify such bigotry and discrimination in this day and age? Everyone has the right to love and be loved without facing discrimination or hate from people like you. Your attitude perpetuates ignorance and division in our society. It's deeply disappointing to see such intolerance in this day and age. 

CARTMAN: I hope you realize the harm your beliefs cause and consider the importance of empathy and acceptance towards all individuals, regardless of sexual orientation.

TOLKIEN: Great, now you woke blue hair and pronouns.

CARTMAN: Wow, really? Is that the best you can do? Reduce my identity to my appearance and my pronouns? It's incredibly disrespectful and ignorant to dismiss who I am with such shallow labels. My hair and my pronouns are part of my identity, and they deserve respect. If you can't respect who I am, I am not interested in continuing this conversation with you.

CRAIG: This is literally why I hate fags. 

KYLE: Dude…

CRAIG: THE FAG IS POSTING UGLY ASS SELFIES ON MY BLOG!

CRAIG: TAINTING MY DAMN PAGE WITH HIS READING RAINBOW LITTLE WEE WEE!

CRAIG: BLUD LOOKS LIKE HE GOT A FUCKING GASTRIC BYPASS!

CRAIG: LIPOSUCTION HEADASS!!!

CRAIG: Guys I’m officially becoming demon-phobic.

CARTMAN: I'm genuinely taken aback by your racist remarks against demons. It's incredibly disrespectful and hurtful to demonkind, using them as a target for racism is not only absurd but also deeply insensitive. It's important to understand that such language perpetuates harmful stereotypes and can be hurtful to those who enjoy creative works involving demons. Please reconsider your words and think about the impact they can have on others.

CRAIG: Womp to the fucking womp.

CARTMAN: EXCUSE ME????

CRAIG: Don’t talk to me, I’m mewing rn.

KENNY: Lord have mercy.

KENNY: Please let my bitch of a sister fucking die.

KENNY: Dear god please. 

KENNY: If you love me, let me be an only child again.

TOLKIEN: Kenny what the fuck.

TOLKIEN: That’s your sister.

KENNY: And?

TOLKIEN: I doubt you’d actually let her die.

KENNY: Shit you right.

KENNY: She still owes me twenty dollars for that McDonalds I got her last week.

TOLKIEN: Okay, do you have anyone who can come get her outta there?

TOLKIEN: Not sure if it's a good idea to go out there with murderous, probably bloodthirsty demons running around.

KENNY: …

KENNY: …

KENNY: …

KENNY: …

KENNY: …

KENNY: …

KENNY: I know who to call.

SHITASS: snrrk nsnzznnzzzzzzzzzzz...,.

[  ♫ WE CAN GO GYATT FOR GYATT  ♫  ]

[  ♫ FUCK THAT, WE CAN GO RIZZ FOR RIZZ  ♫  ]

SHITASS: fhnfnhmmghfghg.

SHITASS: [yawn]

SHITASS: You’ve reached Captain Shitass, 

SHITASS: Unfortunately I cannot take your calls, but I’ll be available in the ‘morrow, no, before you ask, I don’t do balloons anymore.

SHITASS: Please leave a message after the be--

KENNY: Shut up, fecal failure, I’m not here to make you a birthday mascot. KENNY: We got some demon wranglin to do!

SHITASS: OH FUCKNUGGETS IS THE WAR COMIN???

KENNY: Don’t know, probably!

SHITASS: WHAT DO YOU MEAN PROBABLY????

SHITASS: ARE WE GOIN’ TO WAR OR NOT?

KENNY: Look babycakes, it's hard to guess if a big storm’s comin, but we ain’t takin’ no damn chances. KENNY: Besides, Karen still owes me McDonalds money.

SHITASS: Oh, this is over Donnie’s? Fuck yeah, I’m in. 

KENNY: Wait, really?

SHITASS: Uh, yeah!

SHITASS: I don’t fuck around when it comes to McDonalds.

SHITASS: Mcdonald’s is an important necessity to the American economic system. 

KENNY: Oh thank god. KENNY: After this, can we kill her? KENNY: Like actually?

SHITASS: Uh, yeah.

SHITASS: She’s a fucking cunt and I hate her.

KENNY: THANK GOD.

SHITASS: You wanna do it or should I?

KENNY: Oh I’d be fine with either, long as she dies. KENNY: Gets her outta my hair and me back to being an only child.  KENNY: Afterward, my life will be nothing but bliss. 

SHITASS: Aight bet.

SHITASS: By the way, where the fuck are you?

SHITASS: Usually you come over to my place with a loaded gun, pointing at me and forcing me to do a jester jig like a common peasant. 

KENNY: Haha. KENNY: Funny story.

SHITASS: Oh good robot lord, are you hiding in a bush to throw corn at me?

SHITASS: You’re not gonna tase my balls and yell “dance, peasant dance”?

SHITASS: You did that the LAST time you said you had somethin’ funny to tell me

SHITASS: Then you covered me in worms and rat shit as I mourned over my now broken balls.

KENNY: Nononono shawty it’s actually sososo funny.

SHITASS:Y’know, I can’t have children anymore, right?

SHITASS: So I feel like im inclined to not fucking believe you.

KENNY: Nononono It’s ACTUALLY funny.

SHITASS: I swear on robot jesus if you tase my ASSHOLE I will rip off YOUR balls!

KENNY: WOAHHH BUDDY! LET ME TELL MY STORY NO NEED TO MAKE IT GAY.

SHITASS: Kenneth aren’t we boyfriends?

KENNY: SHUT UPPPPP, Okay, so like.  KENNY: You know ouija boards, right? KENNY: And weed?

SHITASS: Of course I know what fucking weed is.

SHITASS: We rolled blunts with used tissues in the Walmart dumpster last week.

SHITASS: Mine tasted like blood and boogers.

KENNY: Oh yeahhhh! KENNY: Anyways. KENNY: We all got REALLY high one night, KENNY: And we decided to talk to a buncha ghosts, cuz that's what you do when you’re blitzed, ya know? KENNY: Then, Craig continued talkin’ to em after we all dipped cuz we didn’t wanna, y’know, DIE. KENNY: So now we’re all targets cuz his ass decided follower counts are more important than life.

SHITASS: Of course he did.

SHITASS: What a fucking idiot.

KENNY: RIGHT????

SHITASS: They know about the prophecy? Or like, about us? 

KENNY: Pssh, nah.

SHITASS: Thank god, let's keep it that way.

SHITASS: Anyone else with her?

KENNY: Craig’s sister I think.

SHITASS: Ew, there’s more than one??

KENNY: Un-fucking-fortunately.

KENNY: Kill ‘em, dung disaster, I love you.

SHITASS: Love you too, miserable cunt.

SHITASS: Welp,

SHITASS: We’re all gonna die.

(Edits made by @pissblanket)