#kelly's angst

[callsign-dexter]

Saving Grace 18+

Major Trigger Warning: Domestic and Child Abuse

Request: Ok, I blame your blog for my growing desire on Kelly Severide 😭😭😭 and your smut was soo goood! I'm in Love with your writing !

Sooooo I kindly want to ask you for a little bday (it's Sunday but it's fine if you don't have time) present with angsty Kelly, cause I'm sure we'll love some fluff too 🤗🙊 maybe a little something where they are a couple and she's a paramedic and he's always cute around her and wants her to be save on every call. But one time they're all get called to a gang fight and as she's treating a victim she gets attacked with a knife which nearly kills her and Kelly's world stops when she's in his arms full of blood and barely hanging on. He never leaves her side when she's taken to Med and even there he's by her side begging her to come back to him. Just cute and fluffy Kelly cause daaaaaamn he's so great 🥹 oh and ofc it's a Happy Ending with them 🤗❤️

Pairings: Kelly Severide x Fiancée!Paramedic!Reader

Warnings: angst, fluff, hospitals, stabbing, knife, blood, inaccurate medical talk, smut

Masterlist

A/N: Happy belated birthday to the anon that sent this in!

A/N 2: Yes even though this is fluff with angst there is smut so @imagine-all-the-fandoms and @talesofreading please prepare yourselves!

You had known Kelly Severide ever since you were both kids, considering you were next door neighbors. You didn't have the best childhood and needed a friend and you found that in Kelly. You two had grown up and had been there for each other through thick and thin. Through bad breakups with shitty boyfriends and girlfriends. You shut down all the rumors going around about Kelly even though you probably knew they were true especially with him being a womanizer, but you had to defend your friend and crush. 

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Middle school hit and your friendship was stronger than ever and you two had stayed thick as thieves no matter how popular he had become. When his girlfriend, and also the captain of the soccer team, tried to get him to stop hanging around you because she didn't like you, he immediately broke up with her. One particular night they yelling and the fighting got so bad at your house that it became physical and your father had hit you and then threw a plate against the wall, breaking it and some of it cut you. Your mother tried to stop it but your father turned on her and she looked at you with a particular look and you ran, you ran to Kelly. When he saw you and the shape you were in, he grew furious but he took you up to your room and cleaned you up and held you that night.  

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When high school came around your friendship and crush were still going strong. It became normal around the school to see each other with each other, so normal that his friends started becoming your friends and vice versa. Around sophomore year a particularly bad night occurred over at the Y/L/N Household. Your mother had just passed away due to some complications from the abuse your father had laid on her, the next day your father started to drink heavily starting in the morning and didn't end at all. You had just come home from school to find your father sitting at the kitchen table drinking. “About time you came home.” He said with a bite in his tone.

“I was at school.” You said slightly trembling. Your father looked up at you in rage.

“From now on you're not going to school. You're staying here.” He said not really in the right mental state.

“Dad, I can't do that. I need to go to school.” You said you wanted Kelly.

“Not anymore. Now make dinner.” He said harshly. 

“No, Dad. I have homework to do and I promised Kelly I would meet up with him to help him.” You said and the anger flashed through your father’s face.

“You're always with him. Kelly this, Kelly that. I bet you've probably fucked him you slut.” He said and that brought tears to your eyes. 

“No, I haven't.” You said “I'm not with him.” You added and your dad scoffed. 

“Whatever. Now, get to cleaning this place is dirty and cooking. I'm hungry.” He spoke 

“No, I need to do homework and then meet Kelly. I've told you this.” You said something must've snapped in him because he was suddenly picking up his glass and throwing it at you. It grazed you and hit the wall exploding in a million pieces and most of those cut you and you ducked for cover. Your dad stalked over to you and grabbed you by the hair and slammed you up against the wall he was yelling and threatening you. Tears were coming out fast. 

“Stop you're crying.” He said and punched you in the face and you cradled your face and that just made him grow angrier. He slammed your head into the wall and then threw you down onto the ground. He kicked you twice in the ribs, breaking some, and several in the stomach. There were plates on a shelf next to you and he reached over and pulled that down over you, they broke all over you and cut you. You were sure you were bloody and not a very good sight to look at. You were close to passing out and you just wanted Kelly. 

“Kelly.” You mumbled and your dad rolled his eyes.

“There you go saying his name. He can't save you now.” Your dad said and then brought his boot cover foot and it connected it with your head and that brought stars to your vision. Kelly, you wanted Kelly and now. Your dad finally stopped his attack on you and then stormed away, grabbed his keys and left considering you heard his truck start up. He left the door standing wide open.

Kelly had just gotten home from his baseball practice when he noticed your car in the driveway but not your dad's. He also noticed the door left wide open and that made his stomach drop. He quickly pulled into your driveway and got out and rushed in and the scene before his eyes made his blood boil. You were laid there in a pool of your own blood and semi-conscious. “Son of a bitch.” He said to himself he made it very clear that he didn't like your dad early on. “Hey, Angel. Wake up for me. Please.” Kelly said while stroking your cheek but nothing had worked. “You’re really scaring me.” He said. You heard a voice and it sounded like Kelly’s.

“Kel?” You asked, slurring your words and eyes cracking open. You saw him crouching down in front of you.

“Yea, it's me.” He said 

“Dad-” You began but he shushed you.

“I know, Angel. I know.” He said smiling sadly and then pulled out his phone. “I’m gonna call 911. Just hang tight.” He said and you just stared at him everything sounded underwater. You could hear him talking but couldn’t pay attention. Your eyes started to close “Hey, hey, hey. Keep those eyes open for me.” He said but they were already shutting “Y/N-” he said and the last thing you heard before you let the darkness win.

The next thing you remember was waking up in the hospital with Kelly asleep by your side. You hurt all over and you vowed to yourself that you would become a paramedic to help people in need. You tried sitting up and groaned and that is what woke him up. “Woah. Hey. It’s ok, Angel.” He said and got up helped you lay back down.

“Dad?” You asked and he smiled sadly.

“He was found with his truck wrapped around a tree, he survived and when he gets healthy enough, he is going to prison.” He said and you nodded and then your eyes were closing. “Go to sleep, Angel. I’ll be right here.” He said and you let your eyes slip closed. 

“I love you, Kel. More than a friend.” You said and he smiled.

“I love you too. More than a friend.” He repeated and you smiled and then fell asleep. When you woke up again, he brought up what you said and told him it was true and he smiled and told you that he felt the same way. From that day you two started to date. 

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When you both graduated high school you decided to follow Kelly everywhere and owed him your life because he saved your life. You ended up going with him to the fire academy and excelling through it and had graduated as a paramedic and him as a firefighter. After graduation he had proposed to you and it was an immediate yes. 

Considering that you both had gotten engaged you both followed each other through the different firehouses and both ended up at Firehouse 51. When you got the position for a paramedic on Ambulance 61, he got his position on Rescue Squad 3 and you both were so happy. It was exciting and both were so happy.

Kelly and you had talked about kids and decided not to wait until you both were married and when it happened then it happened. You loved the thought of getting married but were happy to be engaged with the love of your life. Getting with you and getting engaged changed Kelly for the good, he stopped being a womanizer and he devoted himself to you and only you. 

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You both had been sleeping soundly in your own bed at your house after being off for 3 days and having a lot of fun in the bedroom trying but not really trying for a child. Your alarm had gone off at 6:30 AM and you jolted awake. When you turned over and saw the time you groaned and shut the alarm off. “Is it time already?” Kelly asked with a gravely and sleep ridden voice and you smiled and rolled over looking at him. You didn’t have to go in until 8:00 AM.

“Sadly yes.” You said and kissed him and he returned the kiss. “But hey, we'll be with each other for the next 2 days.” You said and he smiled.

“That we will, Angel.” Kelly said and kissed you rolling over to where he was pinning you underneath him. The kissing got more intense and you were planning on letting it go further but you needed to get to work before Boden had both of your heads.

“As much as I want to continue this. We really need to get to work.” You said and he bowed his head and sighed in defeat. He knew you right. 

“You’re always right.” He said and you smiled and kissed him again but he continued his attack on you. 

“Kel.” You warned but he just continued his attack on your neck and then he was inching his way down your body until he got to the hem of his shirt that you stole from him. “Baby.” You moaned out and he smirked and went lower to your underwear cover pussy. He pushed your legs open and began kissing the inside of your thighs as he slid your underwear down your legs and threw them somewhere. Then he dove straight in and your head was thrown back “Kelly!” You shouted but turned into a moan. Your hands went to his head he licked a broad stripe up your folds as his hands kept your thighs spread. He swirled his tongue around your entrance and then bit your clit gently and that had you letting out a pornographic moan. Your back arched pleasure and that rubber band feeling was creeping up a tall tale sign you were about to cum. “I’m gonna cum.” You warned and he quickened his pace and when he sucked on your clit and gently bit it again for the second time had you coming undone. “I'm cumming!” You moaned out and that rubber band snapped and you saw stars. You came all over his face and he was licking it up like it was his last meal. When you came down from your high, he was sitting up and lying next to you. You laid there for a few minutes catching your breath “That was amazing.” You said and he smiled and leaned over and kissed you, you could taste yourself on his tongue.

“Have to take care of my girl.” He said after he broke the kiss and you smiled.

“Now we have to get ready.” You said and got up. He laid there watching you. Once you had disappeared into the bathroom, he and when he heard the shower running, he got up and smirked. He stripped off his sweats and underwear leaving him nude. He walked into the bathroom and when you heard the shower door open you smiled.

“Just couldn’t stand it could you?” You asked and he smirked.

“How can? Especially knowing my sexy fiancée is in here all alone and may need some assistance.” He said and you laughed as he started to finish what you had started and then it was your turn to help him. As you were soaping him up and rinsing him off you got down to his very erect and noticeable hard on, you smirked.

“Want me to help you with that?” You asked and he smirked.

“I would never say no to you.” He said and you smiled and he helped you ease your way down once he knew what you were doing. All soap was gone and both of you were clean but you always did enjoy standing there under the hot water. Your hand traveled down to his cock and pumped it while you kissed the tip and kitten licked it and that had him moaning. “Oh, Angel. That feels so good.” He said and you smirked and took the tip into your mouth and swirled it with your tongue and then you started moving your head up and down. Kelly’s head was thrown back in pleasure. One hand went to your head and the other braced himself on the shower wall. “Angel.” He moaned out. You kept changing your speed and then you hollowed your cheeks and took him deeper until he hit the back of your throat. You breathed through your nose “I’m close, Y/N/N.” He said and you knew it was true especially when your other hand that wasn’t on his cock went to his balls you felt them tightening up. What did him in was when you squeezed his cock and his balls at the same time “I’m cumming, Angel.” He moaned out and then his thick load shot into the back of your throat and you swallowed it all. When he was done you slowly drug your mouth off his cock and released him with a pop. He helped you stand up and kissed you tasting himself. You smiled at him “Thank you, Angel.” He said and tucked a piece of wet hair behind your ear.

“Anytime babe.” You said and then you both were getting out and getting ready. Once everything was ready to go you looked at your phone 7:20 AM it read and your eyes bugged out of your head. 

“What is it, Angel?” He asked when he noticed your expression.

“We’re gonna be late.” You said and he smirked. 

“Then let me drive.” He said and you groaned but agreed. You both walked out to his Jeep and he booked it to the firehouse. 7:50 AM, you had cut it close but now you felt nauseous.

“Never letting you drive again.” You said as you grabbed your bag.

“Oh, come on. I got us here on time.” He said and you just shook your head and the both of you headed in. Both of you put your bags in the locker room and went to hear the reports and once that was over your 2-day shift started. 

6 hours into your shift nothing really exciting happened, just a few small calls that didn’t require everyone to go out. You were grateful for the silent morning and not much happening because that meant you could spend time with Kelly and plan your wedding with your bridesmaids, Sylvie Brett and Grabriela Dawson and maid of honor, Stella Kidd. “So, have you picked a color yet?” Sylvie asked.

“I have 2 picked out navy blue and sage green.” You said and she nodded.

“Oh, navy blue would look so pretty.” Stella said and you smiled as you flipped through some magazines. You were mid flip when Kelly walked into the room you looked up when you saw him coming over and kissed you.

“How is my beautiful fiancée doing?” He asked and you smiled and you could hear the girls aweing at you both and you rolled your eyes at them.

“Oh hush. I’m doing well. A little bit achy from the rambunctious patient we had last call.” You said and he gave you a look “Kel, I’m fine nothing major happened and we handled it.” You said and he eased up.

“You know I want you to be safe on every call.” He said and you nodded and watched him walk over to the fridge and grab two bottles of water and something to snack on and brought it to you. You gladly accepted them.

“You two are so adorable.” Gabby said and you chuckled and made room for Kelly to sit down and then you leaned into him and started flipping through the magazine again as he fed you some of his snack. “So, you have a cake picked out?” She asked and you nodded.

“We do. It’s a chocolate strawberry cake.” Kelly said “It’s her favorite and I want her to be happy on her special day.” He said and kissed your temple. You smiled and played with your engagement ring.

“Hey it’s your day too.” You argued and looked at him.

“Yes, but to me it’s going to be all about you and celebrating you being with me.” He said and again the girls awed at the both of you and again you rolled your eyes but smiled. The wedding talk continues and Kelly put his input in. When the urge to go to the bathroom was needed you got up and he whined. “Where are you going?” He asked pouting and you turned to him.

“I have to go to the bathroom, Babe. Unless you want to join.” You said as a joke and he started to get up but you stopped him “I was joking. I’ll be back soon.” You said and he pouted again.

“Fine. I’ll miss you.” He said and you laughed.

“I’ll be right back.” You said and the girls all laughed. You went to the bathroom and as you were washing your hands the bells rang signaling for Rescue Squad 3, Truck 81, Ambulance 61, and Engine 51. It must be serious if they were sending everyone out. You quickly rushed the ambulance and he stopped you before you got in and he kissed you hard and you returned the kiss. “I love you.” You said as you hopped into the vehicle.

“I love you too.” He said and then you both got in your vehicles and then you were off to the call. The call was made by a bystander that had witnessed a gang fight had taken place and there were some casualties but also some that needed medical attention as well as a fire that had broken out due to a bullet hitting a gas tank of a car. Intelligence was also called since it was their case they were working on. You were quick to jump out when the ambulance had stopped. Boden gave orders and everyone got to work. You, Sylvie, and Gabby along with Herrmann, Otis, Kelly, Brian and Peter moved people that needed serious attention to one place and the ones that didn't move to another then the deceased to another with sheets laying over them. Intelligence and other police officers were booking left and right. You had just finished with one patient when Jay grabbed your attention. 

“Hey, Y/N! I need you over here!” He said and you rushed over with your bag. When you got there a man in his mid-20s was lying unconscious on the ground but breathing. You knelt down next to him and Jay. Jay was waiting to do anything to help.

“Sir, can you hear me?” You asked while taking a listen to him and everything sounded normal. You still hadn't gotten a response so you made your hand into a fist and rubbed his sternum. That definitely got a reaction out of him because before Jay could stop him, he had grabbed a knife that was in his back pocket and drove it first into your stomach. At first you didn't feel it and Jay was just shocked. You Felt it when the knife pulled out and found its way into your ribs. Jay took action and was quick to apprehend the person and cuff him. He called for someone to get the person off the ground and once they were gone Jay turned his direction to you. 

“Hey it's ok. You're going to be ok.” Jay said as he started putting pressure on your wounds.

“Kelly. Want Kelly.” You mumbled out and Jay nodded and looked up looking for your fiancé and when he found him, he shouted his name.

“Kelly!” Jay shouted and that caused Kelly to look up and his face drained of color when he saw you on the ground with blood and Jay trying to help. He was rushing over to get to you. 

“What the hell happened?” Kelly asked when he arrived and took over for Jay but Jay stayed close wanting to help his friends. 

“I found a guy on the ground unconscious and called her over since she was available. She was checking on him and trying to wake him up and he woke up startled and took out a knife we both didn't see and stabbed her before I could do anything. He was quick and got a second stab in.” Jay said and Kelly nodded, not mad at anyone this could happen to anyone. He knew moving someone without knowing their injuries could end up making it worse for them. 

“Kel?” You asked and he looked down and saw you staring at him with wild unfocused eyes. You looked so scared.

“I'm here, Angel. I'm here.” He said and pressed harder on your wounds. Blood was starting to seep out between his fingers. “Jay, go and get Sylvie and Gabby. Tell them it's Y/N. Tell them to bring the gurney and hurry.” He said and Jay nodded and went to find them.

“I'm sorry.” You said and Kelly looked at you confused.

“Why are you sorry?” He asked

“I didn't see the knife.” You said and he shook his head.

“Nobody could've seen it. You and Jay did the right thing in not moving him.” He said and you nodded and then you started coughing which brought blood and it was getting harder to breathe. “Hey hey, don't you give up on me yet.” He said and grabbed your gloved hand and he could feel your ring through it. He decided he needed to be skin to skin with you so he ripped the gloves off and your diamond ring was out on display for everyone to see.  “We have so many plans, Angel. Don't leave me.” He added you so desperately tried to keep your eyes open and you were winning the fight but barely. 

“Oh my god.” Sylvie gasped and both her and Gabby got to work. The commotion caught the attention of a few others and they were quick to come over. “Hey, Y/N/N. Can you hear me?” Sylvie asked and you nodded your head and looked over at her.

“Kel?” You asked, losing a lot of blood.

“I'm right here, Y/N. I'm right here.” He said and your head lolled over to look at him. Then your eyes closed and your breathing stopped. “Y/N! No no no no.” Kelly said and removed his hands and started chest compression and that kicked everyone into gear. Gabby put a pulse ox on you and connected leads to you and it showed a flatline and tears came to Kelly's, well everyone's, eyes. “Come on. Come on.” He said and continued CPR. About 2 minutes later your heart started beating again and he sighed in relief. Gabby started an IV and Kelly’s hands went to the puncture wounds again.

Everyone started talking and then you felt yourself being lifted up and onto the gurney by several people. You were moving and it felt like you were floating. Nothing was in focus and every sound was underwater. You were loaded into the back of the ambulance and then you were speeding away. Kelly never once left your side and nobody argued with him.

Getting to Med felt like forever but it was only a short 3 minutes but in those 3 minutes Kelly's world stopped again. Your heart was beating strong and then all of a sudden it just stopped. Gabby was quick to start CPR again. “If we don't get her back soon, her chances to survive are low.” She said and just as soon as the ambulance pulled up to Med your heart started again. When the doors opened there was Connor and a few nurses standing there and as soon as the gurney was off the ambulance you were being wheeled away. Talking was heard but you couldn't focus on it. Your eyes were closed. 

“Kelly, you know you can't go back with us.” Connor said

“I know. Just take care of her. Angel, I'll be here when you're done. Keep fighting.” Kelly said, bending down and kissing your forehead and then your ring. “I love you.” Kelly added as tears ran down his face and you were wheeled behind the door. Kelly just stood there not knowing what to do until Otis came behind him and grabbed his shoulders and led him to the waiting room. Before they wheeled you behind the doors, they had taken your engagement ring off and gave it to him. He looked up and saw most of everyone there but nobody said a word. He looked down at your engagement ring and just started to let tears escape. He needed you.

——————————————————————

“Alright I want a quick x-ray and an ultrasound then I want her prepped and quickly.” Conner said and everybody let him know that they understood and then they were on it. An x-ray was taken and the tech froze.

“Uh, Conner. I might want to come and take a look at this.” He said and Connor rushed over.

“She’s pregnant.” He confirmed “Someone call Dr. Manning. Tell her it is an emergency.” He said 

“On it!” A nurse said and was quick to get her on the phone. In no time Natalie was rushing into the OR, she was getting the ultrasound up and running and was quick to get it on you.

“It looks like she is 9 weeks pregnant and it looks like the knife didn’t even touch the placenta but it looks like it caught her kidney.” She said “I’ll stay and monitor the baby.” She said and Connor nodded and started giving directions out. The surgery was stressful but it was coming along great. “The baby's heart rate and breathing are great.” Natalie said just about the time your heart rate was beginning to drop.

“Heart is dropping and her breathing is labored.” The surgical nurse said and that concerned both of the doctors. Then your heart monitor flatlined. 

“Starting CPR!” Connor said and he started the chest compressions. “Come on, Y/N/N. You got a fiancé that is worried sick about you and a baby to grow and raise” he said and you must be listening because after about 3 minutes of CPR your heart started to beat again. “Ok, she’s back! Let’s hurry this and get her into recovery.” He said calmly and they finished quickly. They had to fix your lung and remove one of your kidneys but you were going to survive.

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4 hours is how long everyone had to wait. Your team members, who were your family, weren’t going to go anywhere especially not when one of their own was fighting for her life. Kelly was a nervous wreck and he hadn’t even said a word since he arrived, nobody was going to push him to talk. Boden had declared him off since it was his fiancée in there and that considered him family. Nobody had come out and whenever someone had come out it wasn’t Connor and his heart sank a little more each time. The plans that you two had made and planned on making were running through his head. He thought about starting a family with you and the wedding you two were going to have. As he was thinking about it all, he remembered your diamond ring in his hand, it shouldn’t be in his hand, it should be on your finger. He took one last look at it and then took his chain off around his neck and unclasped it and slid on it, he then put the chain back around his neck.

Finally, Connor came out and he stood there for a minute until he saw Kelly and the crew. He walked over to them and when Kelly heard footsteps he looked up and quickly stood up. “Connor?” Kelly asked Connor, looked at him and smiled.

“They’re both going to be just fine.” He said and Kelly looked at him shocked.

“Both?” Kelly questioned 

“Yes, Y/N is 9 weeks pregnant. I take it neither of you knew.” He said, reading the expression on Kelly’s face.

“No. We’ve been trying but not really trying.” He said and Connor smiled. “How is Y/N?” He asked

“We lost her once but got her back quickly. The knife got her kidney so we had to remove that and we fixed her lung. I’m suggesting a few weeks to a month off from work but she can do very light duty.” Connor said and everyone nodded, mostly Boden. “I can take you to her now.” He said.

“Please.” Kelly said and Connor smiled and nodded. He led Kelly the way and while he was walking past his crew, they gave him a chorus of ‘Congratulations’. They weren’t going anywhere anytime soon.

Kelly and Connor arrived at your room and he walked in and sat down on the chair. “If something happens, please grab one of the nurses and they’ll either page me or Natalie or both of us will be here.” He said and Kelly nodded “Oh and Kelly?” He added and Kelly looked up at him. “Congratulations.” He said and Kelly smiled and Connor was off. He was left there sitting with you and letting tears fall.

“You scared me, Angel. When I saw you lying there with Jay putting pressure on your wounds, my world stopped. Then when you stopped breathing and your heart stopped twice on the way here, it scared the shit out of me. We’re going to be parents, Angel. I don’t know if you can hear me but you, I’m so glad you chose to stay with me. I would be so lost without you. I love you so much.” He said and kissed your forehead. 

Nurses were in and out checking on you and the baby and the crew came and saw you but couldn’t stay long and Kelly understood and he knew you would understand too. Kelly wasn’t going to leave your side for nothing and nobody was going to make him and Boden understood. He wanted to put your ring back on but refrained against it because he didn’t want them taking it off again.

2 days had passed and you still hadn’t woken up but that was to be understood it helped your body heal. They kept IVs running to keep you and the baby hydrated and it had some nutrients in it to keep you both nourished from the lack of food being eaten. It was during the night when you woke up and you looked around the room taking in the noise and where you were at. Then you looked over to your right and saw Kelly sleeping. You reached a hand over and stroked his cheek which woke him up and then when he saw you were awake, he was up with a start. About that time Connor and Natalie had come and smiled. “Nice to see you awake.” Connor said and you smiled and then grimaced in pain when you tried to move. 

“Take it easy. You just had some major surgery. We also don’t want to stress the baby out.” Natalie said and you pulled a confused face.

“Baby?” You asked voice scratchy and Kelly was quick to grab the cup of water and bring the straw to your lips and you drank some and pushed it away.

“Yes, we did an x-ray to see where the knife had hit and when the baby popped up, I was called in and I did an ultrasound to confirm that you are 9 weeks pregnant. I take it you didn’t know.” Natalie said and you shook your head but smiled “Congratulations.” She said with a small smile and you smiled back.

“Thank you. We were trying for a kid but haven’t been trying very hard.” You said and she smiled.

“The knife punctured your kidney and your lung. We removed your kidney and repaired your lung. I want you to take it very easy for a few weeks and if you go back to work then it’s going to have to be very light duty.” Connor said and you nodded. He and Natalie went over a few things with you and then left. They wanted you to stay in the hospital for at least a week to make sure everything was ok and no complications and you agreed along with Kelly. 

“We’re going to be parents.” You said and he smiled and nodded then you looked down at your bare hand “Where is my ring?” You asked almost panicked and he smiled and pulled it out on his chain.

“Right here baby.” He said and pulled it off and took it off and put it back on your hand where it belonged. You let out a yawn and he chuckled. “Go back to sleep baby. I’ll be here when you wake up.” He said and leaned up and kissed your forehead again. 

As you fell back asleep you smiled and thought about your baby. The two of you were going to be parents and you couldn’t wait. All you could think about is how good of a father Kelly was going to make and you couldn’t wait. You couldn’t wait to marry him and raise his kid with him. The three of you were going to be one happy family and that was something worth staying for.

Tag list:

@kmc1989

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@atarmychick007

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[daydreamingatnight209]

Me actually writing and posting? What??? 😱😱😱

Enjoy some Colson content my lovelies 🥰

As usual Feedback is welcome, HATE is not ; if you don’t like it, don’t read it. ✨💕

“I’m Here, Go Back to Sleep”

MGK x Female Reader

Warnings - None. Just pure fluff!

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Waking up to an empty bed these days wasn’t unusual these days, with the album deadline slowly creeping up day by day, Colson spent almost all of his hours in the studio, working himself to the bone to produce an album everyone can enjoy.

With your own workplace continuously overworking you, sleep or time didn’t come easily to you either. You couldn’t remember the last time both you and Colson had actually spent more than a few minutes at a time together in the same room and it was starting to become very lonely.

Leaving the cold and empty bed, after another night of hopeless tossing and turning, you sigh and drag yourself downstairs to the kitchen. Preparing for another day to survive on coffee you make one for both yourself and your boyfriend who didn’t even leave the studio last night. It was most likely he fell asleep there in the very early hours of the morning.

While the lack of sleep wasn’t new for Colson, it certainly was for you and you could feel it slowly starting to affect your mind and body.

You grab him a change of clothes, a blanket for yourself and his favourite aftershave before crossing over from the house into the converted studio space.

With the band already in session, you slipped in almost undetected, but as always, your eyes caught Colson’s immediately. You give him a small smile and walk over to give him what you had brought over.

“Babe, what are you doing up so early? You look exhausted” he whispers as he presses a gentle kiss to your forehead.

You let out a small laugh and set yourself down on the closest chair.

“Gee, thanks Col”

After a quick clothes change and the others leaving in search for food, Colson calls you over to the desk he’s working at.

“Come, let me hold you” he mumbles, stretching his long arms out in your direction.

Wrapping the blanket tightly around you, you walk over to your lover and wrap yourself around him so you were straddling him. He holds you tightly and sways gently.

“You need to get some proper rest, baby, you are going to make yourself ill” he tells you softly.

You giggle to yourself at his concern for you, knowing full well he wouldn’t take his own advice even if you begged him.

“I’ll rest when you do” is your answer and you can practically feel him rolling his eyes at you, despite not actually being able to see him as you rest your head in the crook of his neck.

The two of you sit there quietly, as colson continues to sway you and hum a track from the new album into your ear.

Despite not being able to sleep properly, something about being in colson’s arms after so long, settles you and you cannot fight the call of sleep that beckons you. Your eyes close slowly and without protest as you rest against the frame of your man, the feeling of safely enveloping you.

Colson smiles down at you, tenderly, the look of frustration and stress leaving your features as you snore lightly.

He would be lying to himself if he said he hadn’t missed these small intimate moments with you and did feel quite guilty for not making more time for you while in the process of doing this next album. You never once complained and took everything in your stride which is on of the many things he loved about you.

He couldn’t wait to look after you and treat you to something special as a way of thanks for all your support when the album was complete.

His train of thought was interrupted as he heard everyone coming back to continue the session. He panicked slightly as they all barged through the door and glared at them in an effort to silence the rowdiness they were currently displaying.

“Shhh! She hasn’t slept properly in weeks and I swear if any one of you wake her up! …” Colson hisses at his friends, before looking down at you to ensure you were still peacefully sleeping.

Slim is the first to put his hands up in mock surrender, a smirk plastered on his face as he leads the group back out the door, but he was secretly glad that this would mean Colson would be forced to take a break, even if it was just an hour or so. He knew he definitely needed one.

Once alone again, Colson lifts you up with ease and carries you over to the sofa, laying you down and climbing in beside you. He wraps his arms back around you settles in. The movement causes you to stir slightly, your eyes still closed you mumble for your boyfriend not to leave you.

“Shh baby, I’m here, go back to sleep”

[little-demy]

Mourning

The idea just came when I remembered I read this webcomic in which the mc kept his hair long because he's still mourning, now I'm using that as a hc for Amerta

They still trim their hair a little, but it never been cut above their shoulders, always kept long. They say hair holds memories, so Amerta kept it long to keep those memories

[newsiesautismfrfr]

In a different universe Albert DaSilva is safe

In a different universe he’s still a baby

In a different universe he’s wrapped in his mothers arm while she hums a lullaby

In a different universe his father isn’t cruel and he cares

In a different universe he has a childhood

In a different universe he gets to experience what he never got to; toys, treats, a warm bed and kisses from his parents

In a different universe Albert DaSilva isn’t a newsie

He isn’t begging for food and getting paid penny’s go survive

He ain’t shivering on the streets

He isn’t in his fathers fighting ring

In a different universe Albert DaSilva has his mama and that’s all that matters

But Albert doesn’t have his mama

He never met her

She never met him

Albert’s mama is gone.

[loiteringandlurking]

after the strike, the older manhattan newsies are *ruined*. like, comatose, barely awake, exhausted to the CORE. and the younger newsies are SO full of energy like 'YAYY WE DID IT' and the older newsies can only respond with 'ough' before they collapse onto a table at jacobi's. some of the older newsies have taken to sleeping in the same beds at the lodge because it helps them sleep easier. after jack moves to be with davey working in pulitzer's office, race and albert take over the manhattan newsies, trying to keep the morale up while barely keeping it together themselves. when albert suddenly breaks down in tears trying to get the younger newsies to just please listen to him, the only thing race really knows to do is hug him as tight as he can and try to kiss his cheek as inconspicuously as possible.

of course, it doesn't go unnoticed. it creates tradition and openness within the younger newsies; they feel comfortable crying in front of each other for the first time, and often kiss each other on the cheek or forehead to cheer each other up. when jack comes to visit and he finds such a supportive environment, led by race and albert holding hands and wearing steel promise rings, he's spellbound.

he can't believe that race and albert brought this about.

he's so proud of them because now they can finally be themselves.

[cosmicanakin]

𝐓𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄 | prologue.

adult content | minors do not interact.

𝐏𝐀𝐈���𝐈𝐍𝐆. james kelly x female reader.

𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒. returning home to new orlean's help your mother with funeral arrangements and grieve the loss of your sister, lauren. you find solace in your niece and nephew - her kids.

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆(𝐒). angst┆death of a loved one┆grief┆emotional distress.

kari's corner ⟢ ݁⋆ this is basically an introduction for the series! but don't worry james will make his appearance very soon <3

the sky was overcast and dreary as you looked out the window of the plane, matching how heavily your heart felt in your chest. you had gotten the frantic call from your mom just a day ago, unintelligible sobs coming through the speaker as you struggled to make out what she was trying to say. once you had managed to calm her down enough, the words still rang in your head — your older sister lauren was dead.

shot down in the middle of the street on her way to work, a senseless act of violence that had ripped another loved one from your life. you and lauren had always been close growing up, her taking on more of a motherly role for you after your dad passed when you were young. the news had devastated you, a raw ache settling deep in your bones that only growing distance from new orleans could numb. but now you were returning, having to face the painful reality you had tried to escape for so long.

the cab pulled up outside the familiar green house you had spent your childhood in. everything looked the same yet felt wholly foreign now. you paid the driver and got out, dragging your suitcase behind you as you walked slowly up the weathered wooden steps of the porch. you could hear noise from inside — no doubt your mom was surrounded by friends and family offering their condolences. steeling yourself, you rang the bell and waited.

the door swung open to reveal your mom, her usual brightness dimmed by tired eyes puffy from tears. "oh honey," she breathed, pulling you into a tight embrace. you hugged her back just as fiercely, both of you finding solace in the comfort of family. after a few moments, she pulled away, dabbing at her eyes with a tissue. "come in, sweetie. everyone's been expecting you."

you nodded, following her inside. the living room was filled with more people than you could count, all turning to offer you sad smiles or hugs as you made your way through. your mom led you to the kitchen, putting on a pot of coffee. "i'm just so glad you're here. it helps to have you for lauren's children."

at the mention of them, a fresh wave of grief crashed over you. aiden and lily, your beloved nephew and niece, who had just lost their mother in the worst way. "how are they doing?" you asked gently.

your mom sighed. "as well as can be expected i suppose. aiden tries to be strong for lily but i know he's hurting inside. they're upstairs if you want to go see them."

you nodded, giving her shoulder a squeeze before heading to the steps. you climbed slowly, dreading the pain you knew seeing them would bring but needing to be there all the same. stopping outside lauren's childhood bedroom, now occupied by her kids, you took a steadying breath before knocking lightly.

"come in!" came aiden's voice.

you opened the door to find them sitting side by side on the bed, coloring books and crayons scattered around. lily's eyes lit up when she saw you. "auntie!"

you managed a small smile for her sake, coming over to sit on lily's side and pulling them both into a hug. "i'm so sorry i couldn't be here sooner."

aiden just nodded, ever the serious eight year old. but lily clung to you, always the more openly affectionate of the two. "mommy's in heaven with grandpa now, right?"

a lump formed in your throat at her innocent question. "yeah sweetheart, she is. and i know she'd want you both to know how much she loves you."

you talked with them for a while, trying your best to comfort the grieving children as they grieved the mother they would never see growing up. eventually, though their growing tiredness became evident, and you put them both to bed with soft kisses to their foreheads before retreating back downstairs.

the crowd had dispersed some by then, leaving your mom washing dishes in the kitchen. you moved to help her dry. "how are the kids holding up, really?" she asked cautiously.

you sighed. "well they're alright? i guess. aiden seems to be shouldering a lot though, trying not to show how sad he truly is. and lily... she just misses her mommy." your voice broke on the last words.

your mom pulled you into her side, rubbing your back comfortingly. "they have you now though. and i know your sister would be grateful to have you here for them."

you nodded mutely, not trusting yourself to speak. the weight of responsibility for lauren's kids now rested heavily on your shoulders. you couldn't imagine their pain at such a tender age, having the stability and love of their mother ripped away. but you were determined to be there for them, to honor your sister's memory by helping to raise them the best you could.

the following week, preparations blurred by in a haze of funeral arrangements and grieving relatives. you focused your energy on aiden and lily, keeping them entertained and trying to give them as much normalcy as possible through the sadness. the service was a sombre affair, tears falling freely as lauren's casket was lowered into the ground beside your father's plot.

after, you helped your mom host the gathering back at the house. old friends regaled stories of lauren through watery smiles, no doubt wondering how someone so full of life could be taken so prematurely. as the crowd dispersed in the evening, a heavy tiredness settled over you. all you wanted was rest to escape the grief for a while.

"why don't you go on and get some sleep, hon. i've got things handled down here," your mom insisted, ever perceptive of your drained state.

you gave her a grateful hug. "thanks, mom. i love you." you head upstairs and collapse onto the bed with a tired sigh. the soft mattress enveloped you in comfort, lulling your mind towards sleep.

just then there was a soft knock on your bedroom door. "come in," you called quietly.

the door opened to reveal your niece lily, clutching her favorite stuffed animal tightly. her eyes were filled with tears as she looked up at you. "i had a bad dream, auntie. can i be with you?"

you gave her a gentle smile and opened your arms. "of course sweet girl. come here."

lily hurried over and climbed into bed next to you. you wrapped her in your embrace, rubbing her back soothingly until her tears subsided. "it's okay, you're safe now. i'll be right here all night to keep the bad dreams away."

eventually, her trembling slowed as exhaustion overtook her small body once more. you placed a soft kiss to her forehead, watching as she drifted into peaceful slumber curled up against your side. finding comfort in caring for lauren's children helped dull some of the aches in your own heart. for now, sleep was what you both needed most. and so with lily's quiet breaths filling the silence, you closed your eyes and surrendered to rest at last.

𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒 — comment or send an ask to be put on the taglist.

﹙ @starlitblair @emotionallybruisedx @anakin-pilled @spcncershasting @freezerbride95 ◞ ⟡ ݁.﹒ ﹚

[nomatterwhatnomatterwhere]

Feels (Harsh) like Winter Wind

Here's Kelly's Pov. It's not really long but writing this came pretty natural when writing Feels (Warm) like Sunlight, and maybe it can add a little more context on the Kelly's part in Max's Pov.

I am still working on the Reader's Pov, so for that you'll have to wait a little bit more, sorry, but I hope you will still like this one.

Kelly knew this; she was neither stupid nor blind.

Feelings are still something fragile if not treated with proper care.

She knew perfectly well that relationships after a while reach a phase of stalemate, of monotony; it was normal, a routine was formed.

There was nothing strange about the fact that after a while the 'honeymoon' period ended; it was not like they were living in the world of fairy tales, where everything ended with a “happily ever after.”

That was the real world, and in the real world relationships after a while lost that booster effect given by serotonin

But Max almost didn't seem to know that. He always seemed to expect something extra, anything, and she couldn't figure out what more she could do, something she wasn't already doing.

A relationship was not a one-sided commitment, but she felt she was the only one who had been committed for a while.

What was worse was that Max didn't even seem to notice what was happening.

It had been a while since Kelly had noticed how their relationship seemed to have suffered a jolt of some kind, but she had thought their estrangement was something temporary. Something due to the amount of work and travel that had increased for both of them in the last while. Something that would recover after they took time to readjust, resetting to their new priorities.

But that moment never seemed to come, and Kelly sensed it.

Max was not telling her something, something heavy, important, and that to her was a blatant sign that something was wrong, and the fact that he refused to confront was just another confirmation.

She really did not understand if he was immune to the tension present when she tried to bring up the subject, or if he really didn't perceive the slightest change in their relationship and what was happening was just in her head?

No, it was not in her head. Although she had hoped so, that she had imagined it all.

She had confirmed this when Max had begun to show up more rarely at her events. To give her less and less notice of his presence at those same events. Seeing them in the same place together had become a jackpot.

How could he have told her that rather than attend one of her fashion shows he would rather listen to you complain about yet another unnecessary purchase you had made for aesthetic reasons.

Kelly had come to know about it a few months later, and it had been lightning in a sky she thought was clearing.

Max had regained that light he had when she had first met him, and she had, perhaps naively, thought that their relationship was recovering, and finding out that it was not had hurt her more than she had thought.

Or perhaps she wanted to believe that their relationship could recover and pretend that the malicious thoughts that kept her from sleeping at night had never existed.

Penelope, with all the innocence typical of children, had asked if she could meet Maxie's friend, the one who worked in radio, because “Maxie is always happier when we hear her on the radio.Maxie is always happy, but when we listen to her broadcast he's happier. She sounds kind. Maxie says she is. And that she always has candy. Can we meet her mom?”

And Kelly was taken aback. She must have been lost in thought for longer than expected, because her daughter was looking at her worriedly, squeezing her hand with her own

“We'll see what can be done.”

That was what she had answered, because Penelope rarely asked her for anything, and she didn't want to say no. Not when she knew how much effort it had taken her daughter to make that request to her

It had taken her a while to connect your name to your own person:you had glimpsed each other at a few events you had both attended but she did not feel like she had ever interacted with you directly.

Yet she had the constant feeling that she knew you, a feeling that had settled at the pit of her stomach and then, it had simply clicked.

You were there at Max's races when he was still a rookie.

You were one of the few people Jos didn't seem to complain about. She should have remembered you for that alone, but in fairness, Kelly had never paid too much attention to what Jos said.

You were a friend of Max's, that's where she must have seen you.

But then you had disappeared.

It was justifiable that she had not remembered you immediately: you had never spoken, but you had frequented the same environment, at least for a while, that's why you looked familiar.

But it wasn't just that, the more she thought about where she might have seen you, the more she could think of an impressive number of conversations in which Max had mentioned you, little episodes that made his eyes sparkle.

There, at that very moment, she had connected the dots, and finally everything made sense.

Max had not become her Max again because of her, and maybe, just maybe, it had really only been hers for a short time, because Max had never spoken about her with that light in his eyes.

It was almost ironic, how Max was refusing to talk about you, when it was something he had always done inadvertently for so long.

She had waited until Penelope was with Daniil to broach the subject with Max: if he didn't want to do it, then she would take care of it, whether he wanted to or not.

Max could be aggressive even off the track when he was touched on a nerve, and you, it seemed from his reaction, were not just one nerve, you were the whole bundle.

At that moment there was no sign of the sweet and apprehensive Max, no,that Max had left room only for wrath and venom, and Kelly just wondered how it was possible that the police hadn't come knocking on their door asking them to tone it down, following the complaint of disturbing the peace that surely the neighbors had made because of their yelling.

They had not broken up well, not at all, and she had even tried to hate you for a while because of that.

She had really wanted to hate you.

You were the person who owned Max's heart, and you didn't even know it, while she felt betrayed.

It was your fault that Max had turned away from her.

It was her right to hate you.

But it was not your fault that her relationship with Max had ended in such an unpleasant way.

Even though Kelly wanted so badly to blame you for something, anything.

You hadn't interacted with Max in years, probably since you stopped coming to his competitions, and she knew it. She knew because in her desperate search for something to make her hatred of you seem justified, Kelly had hoped to find even one article about the two of you.

But she had found nothing.

Even that had hurt her more than she thought.

And she couldn't hate you simply because you existed.

When she had seen the pictures of that grand opening, of the two of you on that terrace, of the look in Max's eyes, she had wanted to laugh.

But she hadn't been able to.

It was so obvious that Max would have pulled the moon out of the sky if you had asked him to.

It was obvious you would never ask him to do it for fear of getting hurt again.

Kelly knew this, she was neither stupid nor blind.

Feelings are still something fragile if not treated with proper care

[charmac]

That episode of Family Fight canonically aired on National TV. Dennis named Paddy's Pub in the episode and then had a breakdown and they aired it. People watched some weird, pathetic man have a breakdown on live television, and he had plugged the bar he owns.

People probably showed up to Paddy's for the joke.

His breakdown probably got clipped and reposted. That probably got millions of views on 2015 Youtube, where one of the top comments was the name and address of Paddy's Pub in Philadelphia.

For months, maybe years, random people probably showed up to Paddy's just because they watched the owner crawl up into a ball and cry in a viral video.

'Pathetic man crying on floor' in probably a meme in their universe. People know Dennis Reynolds as that guy. More people know 'pathetic man crying on floor' than know Dennis.

[mushiimune]

what might very well be the final post in my little collection of memories. looks like these are all 2022 (not like they say 2022 in my signature or anything) and I know for a fact I never posted any of them, so enjoy !

[cowboy-caboodles]

Nightmares (1/2)

took me awhile to put this comic together but now that the holidays are over (at least for this Yid) i have time on my hands!

i like to think that the jacobs’ apartment is a safe place for the manhattan newsies, and a few of them come over for dinner or a warm place to sleep when they can. (most specifically Jack, who took a while to warm up to the idea of Davey’s parents offering him shelter and food, but once he did he spent half his time sleeping over)

[cookybananas]

Ⓜ Ⓐ Ⓢ Ⓣ Ⓔ Ⓡ Ⓛ Ⓘ Ⓢ Ⓣ

credit to @cafekitsune for the divider! ༺♥༻❀༺♥༻ Blurbs ༺♥༻❀༺♥༻ ➨ Anakin and Obi-wan Saving Slave!Reader

༺♥༻❀༺♥༻ One Shots ༺♥༻❀༺♥༻

➨ This Wasn't The Plan - {Former!Anakin Skywalker x Reader} ➨ It's Casual Right? - {Modern!Anakin Skywalker x Reader} ➨ The Aftermath - {Darth Vader/Anakin Skywalker x Deceased!Reader}

➨ Into You - {Unburnt/Darth Vader x Reader}

༺♥༻❀༺♥༻ Mini-Series ༺♥༻❀༺♥༻ ➨ Do I Know You? - {Burnt!Darth Vader/Anakin Skywalker x Reader} - Part I ➺ Part II ➨ It's Been a Long Time, Old Friend - {Unburnt!Darth Vader/Anakin Skywalker x Reader} - Part I ➺ Part II ➺ Part III

[daydreamingatnight209]

I’m not sure on how I feel about this one, but I’m posting it anways 😅🤞

Feedback is welcome - Hate is not ✨💕

“My Best Friend, My Girlfriend, My Everything”

Colson Baker x Female Reader

Warnings - Slight angst, fluffy ending 💕

Prompts used: Credit goes to all original owners -

1. "How drunk are you?" "V...Very." "Drunk enough not to remember tonight? "Hmm." "Good. I love you. And I'm tired of being just your best friend."

2. "He will never know that I like him." "Why?" "Because I'm just one of the million stars, and he's the moon.

3. I can’t believe it took me all these years to realise how I truly feel about you.

4. "Wow those bloodstained clothes really bring out your eyes... Of course I'm being sarcastic! Get over here and let me stitch you up!"

—————————————————————————

Most would think that traveling with an international superstar who also happened to be your lifelong best friend, would mean hitting the jackpot in life. But realistically after a month stuck surrounded by testosterone in such close quarters with a bunch of men who often act like overgrown toddlers , you can’t help but begin to feel like a glorified babysitter. You suppose it doesn’t help that you also happen to be ridiculously in love with said best friend.

After one particular show, you found yourself back on the tour bus while the others went out to celebrate another successful show.

Just because you were Colson’s friend, didn’t mean that you didn’t have your part to play. You liked to feel useful so you took up a part time role, sharing managerial duties with Ashley. This time you found yourself working with Sam to provide visual content for the fans and ensure that Colson’s schedule was running smoothly.

When the quietness you’d been experiencing over the last couple of hours suddenly ends, You couldn’t help but internally roll your eyes. climbing out of your bunk you go to see what all the commotion was about.

You enter the main sitting space and your mouth swings open in shock. In front of you Colson’s face was caked in blood and his clothes were stained with the same substance Rook was laughing hysterically at him and Slim had a smirk on his face, which he attempts to cover when he sees the look on your face.

“What in the actual hell happened here?!” You exclaim.

“Y/N helloooooo”

Colson rushes over to try and embrace you but you hold him at arms length, not wanting to get covered in his blood.

“Look at this, how cool does this look!” He says giddily, jumping around like an overgrown puppy, trying to show the jagged cut that seems to run down his forehead.

“Oh yeah really cool, those bloodstained clothes really bring out your eyes.”

Colson looks at you with glassy eyes and a slightly confused expression on his face and a pout on this face.

“Are you being sarcastic?”

“Yes, of course I am being sarcastic! Get in there and let me stitch you up!” You shout out in frustration and worry. You leave him alone for one night and this happens!

Grabbing his hand you force yourself and his tall frame into the tiny bathroom cubicle, with the first aid kit under the sink.

Colson collapses down onto the toilet seat as you begin to clean his face.

He winces softly as you clean around the wound and begin to apply the temporary stitches.

“How did this even happen anyways?” You ask him as he fiddles with the loose threads on your jumper.

“Rook said I couldn’t do parkour over a car, so obviously I had to prove him wrong” he mumbles, the amounts of alcohol he had consumed during the night finally catching up with him.

You couldn’t help but sport a small smile on your face, because of course it was something just so stupid.

Once you were satisfied with your work, you pack away the first aid kit and attempt to pull him up but Colson just pulls you down easily onto his lap and wraps his long arms around your frame.

“You are that best person I know Y/N. I’m so lucky to have you as my friend”

How drunk are you?" You whisper as you lean against his chest.

“V...Very."

"Drunk enough not to remember tonight?” You asked curious.

Normally Colson’s memory no matter what he drinks is top tier.

"Hmm yeah, probably” he answers, resting his head on your shoulder.

At that response and the fact that you didn’t want him falling asleep in the tiniest toilet possible you stand up and grab is hand once more. He doesn’t protest when you lead him to the back of the bus to where his bedroom is.

He throws his weight into the bed and watch him crawl under the covers.

“Night Kells” you whisper and go to exit the room to head back to your own bunk.

Before you can make it through the sliding door, your best friend speaks up, his voice raspy and slightly needy.

“Stay with me?”

You hesitate at first, not really knowing If you could handle being that close to him for the entire night. Your heart was already beating twice as fast as it should, but you aren’t really great at denying Colson. You never was. So when a cracked, “please” leaves his mouth, you cave and climb under the covers with him.

It doesn’t take long for sleep to claim him but the same doesn’t happen for you. You’ve lost count of how many times you and Colson have shared a bed over the years but where he sees friendship, recently you’ve been struggling to stop the lines from blurring.

Colson wraps you up in his arms subconsciously, like he’s done so many times before, yet this time you find yourself frozen as you stare softy at his peaceful sleeping face.

“I love you Colson Baker. I love you and I'm tired of being just your best friend."

A tear escapes your eye, letting it fall, you wait for what feels forever for sleep to fall over you.

———————————————————

The next morning you are up and out of Colson’s room before he awakens and do your best to avoid him and any awkward conversations that the day might entail. You weren’t exactly to ready to find out if he remembered his night.

No one really picks up on your behaviour and you think you made it through the day perfectly, before Ashley corners you backstage at soundcheck.

“You like him don’t you? In fact it’s more than that … you are in love with him”

Knowing that you can’t hide the truth from your friend, you look her in the eye and give her a sad smile.

“He can never know that I like him."

"Why?" Ash questions you.

"Because I'm just one of million stars, and he's the moon, he deserves so much better that me”

You slightly cruse the tears that begin falling once more and do your best to wipe them without ruining your make up.

Ash gives you a soft smile and shakes her head.

“I’ve seen the say that boy looks at you. You may think he’s the moon but he looks at you like you’re the one holding his entire world. Last night should have been enough evidence! It was you he wanted to patch him up, it was you he wanted attention from and it you he wanted to hold. It’s always you. It’s not about what you can give him or what he can give you, it’s simply about the love that you share and the happiness you provide each other. He doesn’t want to be Mr international superstar with you. He just wants to be Colson, your Colson.”

After her little speech, Ashley leaves you alone as you try and process her words. But you weren’t alone for long as a voice behind you startles you.

“She’s right you know.”

You gasp and turn to fave the voice you knew all too well.

“Colson! What the hell?!”

“She’s right” he repeats.

“Right about what exactly?”

“You might think I’m the moon, but you are my whole world. You are more than just a star, so, so much more.”

“Colson…” you close your eyes, unsure on if you want to have this conversation, but realistically you knew there was no escape.

Colson stalks forward, invading your personal space and holds your chin in his fingers so that you are holding direct eye contact with each other.

“I heard you last night… your confession. I wasn’t really asleep and frankly I’m surprised I remembered this morning. In all honesty i was going to pretend until you felt ready to have the conversation but after hearing what you said to Ashley, well I couldn’t pretend anymore. I can’t believe it took me all these years to realise how I truly feel about you. I can’t believe it took stupid dare inflicted injury and a single moment in a tour bus bathroom for everything to fall into place”

With shaky hands, your fingers touched the small wound on his head and caressed it lightly.

Not trusting your voice, you whisper out a quick response, “I’m so happy it did”.

Colson takes that as cue to plant a kiss on you, a moment you felt as if you could live in forever, before he pulls away to look at you.

“I’ll love, protect and cherish you, forever. My best friend, my girlfriend, my everything.”

[jackmkelly]

every so often i think about that one time newsies uk had to cut a delancey (bc that makes more sense then just canceling and giving ur cast easter off lmao weirdos) BUT because of that Snyder took jack down to the cellar….. keeps me up at night

[sagesskies]

ʜᴀʀʀʏ ᴋᴇʟʟʏ ʜᴀꜱ ʟᴇꜰᴛ ᴀ ᴍᴇꜱꜱᴀɢᴇ

☏ - ʜ-ʜᴇʟʟᴏ? ɪꜱ… ꜱʜɪᴛ, ɪꜱ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴡᴏʀᴋɪɴɢ? ᴡʜᴀᴛᴇᴠᴇʀ… [ᴄʟɪᴇɴᴛ ꜱɪɢʜꜱ] ɪ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ'ʟʟ ʜᴇᴀʀ ᴛʜɪꜱ-- ʙᴜᴛ ɪ'ᴍ ꜱᴏʀʀʏ. ɪ- ɪ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴀꜰʀᴀɪᴅ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ- ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴡᴀꜱ ꜱᴏ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ᴀᴛ ꜱᴛᴀᴋᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ᴍᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ… ɪ ᴅɪᴅɴ'ᴛ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ɪ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴍᴇᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ. ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ꜱᴛɪʟʟ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ. ɪ'ᴍ ɴᴏᴛ ᴀꜱᴋɪɴɢ ꜰᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴏ ꜰᴏʀɢɪᴠᴇ ᴍᴇ, ʙᴜᴛ ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ… ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ʙᴀᴄᴋ?

ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇꜱ: ɪɴꜰɪᴅᴇʟɪᴛʏ, ᴍɪʟᴅ ꜱᴇxɪꜱᴍ, ᴛᴏxɪᴄ ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴꜱʜɪᴘ, ʜᴏᴍᴏᴘʜᴏʙɪᴀ, ʀɪᴄʜᴀʀᴅ ꜱʜᴇᴘʜᴇʀᴅ ᴍᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴ… ꜱᴡᴇᴀʀɪɴɢ

“Are you sure we should be doing this?” 

“Don't tell me you're scared.”

“I'm just saying…” 

“Jeez, loosen up, would you? Nobody will find out, and you wanna know why?” 

“...Why?” 

“Because you're gonna stop being so jumpy whenever I step closer.” 

“I told you I was sorry–”

“Mhm, whatever. Just kiss me already.” 

“So demanding..” 

“But you love that about me.” 

“God you're so right.” 

—

“Arthur, stop pulling your sister's hair, and put your shoes on for God's sake!” Lucy's shrill voice echoes throughout the house. Harry can already imagine her pulling Arthur's ear, he doesn't even have to wait a second longer before he hears Arthur start to shriek. 

“Daaaaad,” Arthur cries out and Harry sighs. He sets down his razor and checks himself in the reflection one last time, he flashes a brilliant smile only for his lips to immediately pull down into a frown. Who is he trying to fool? 

When he enters the living room, Arthur is rubbing his ear and trying not to cry, while Lucy is fixing Gwen’s hair and whispering comforting words. Harry barely steps foot past the threshold before Lucy's dark eyes sharply dart to his and she cocks her head to Arthur. 

Teach the boy a lesson.

Harry holds back a scoff, what lesson was there for him to teach when it was clear that Lucy had already done enough? 

Still, Harry sits down beside Arthur and pats him on the back, “Arthur, why did you do that to your sister? You know it's Sunday, and we have to look our best for Church. Do you want your sister to look like she's just been blown through a storm in front of God?” 

Arthur sniffles, he rubs the tears away, “N-no, but–” 

Harry clicks his tongue, and wags his finger disapprovingly, “I don't want to hear your excuses boy. What I want you to do is apologise to your sister.” 

Arthur crosses his arms and refuses to look at Gwen. 

“Arthur..” 

“It's not my fault,” Arthur grumbles.

“You either listen to me son, or I pull you out of the baseball team.” 

That causes Arthur to snap to attention, his eyes widen with panic and he tugs at Harry’s sleeve, “You can't do that!”

“Yes I can. I don't want to, but if I have to, then I will,” Harry didn't really care, to be honest he'd prefer it, he hated having to take the time out of his Saturday to drop Arthur off at practice instead of doing literally anything else.

Arthur chews at his lip, eyes still red, before huffing in annoyance, “‘M sorry…” 

“Look at your sister when you say sorry, Arthur,” Lucy scolds him. 

Arthur flinches, his brow furrows as his dark eyes glint with something that was less than enthusiastic, however he manages to force himself to meet his sister's expectant eyes, “I'm sorry, Gwen.”

“For…?” Gwen drawled, a little satisfied smirk on her lips. Harry clicks his tongue, his kids were little shits, that's for sure. 

“I'm sorry for pulling your hair…” Arthur pouts. 

“Okay, I forgive you,” Gwen beams like the little princess she pretends to be when Lucy and Harry are around, “Ms. Sutton told us to always be kind to others. Even those who hurt us.”

“That’s nice dear. Now that that's settled, I'll get the car ready,” Harry stands up and grabs the keys off of the fireplace mantel, “Lucy you have the donation cheque ready?” 

“It's in my purse,” Lucy doesn't look up from where she's carefully brushing Gwen's dark curls, “Arthur go join your father in the car, and fix your tie.” 

Arthur mutters his assent, still a bit grumpy, and follows Harry as he heads to the garage. 

They settle into the car, Harry driving the car out of the garage and parking it outside the house while Arthur fixes his outfit so Lucy would stop nitpicking him. 

When the other two arrive and buckle in, Harry wastes no time driving to the Church. It doesn't take long for them to arrive but they all still rush to get out of the car.

“Harry, time?” Lucy's tense voice is accompanied by the sound of her heels clacking on the ground. 

“Eleven twenty-seven,” Harry calls back as he gets Gwen and Arthur out of the car, “We still have time.” 

From the tone of her voice Harry knows Lucy is rolling her eyes so hard all they may as well go into the back of her skull, “Yes, Harry, but we always arrive at exactly eleven thirty five—” 

“We still have eight minutes mommy,” Gwen interjects sweetly, wrapping her small hand in her mother's. 

Lucy smiles, and gently squeezes it, “I know dear, but we have to set a standard for all the other families.” 

Harry scoffs as he helps Arthur get out of the car. Sometimes he wonders why he said yes at the altar, only to remember that Lucy was the only choice he had after.. 

No, he promised himself that he would never think of him again. 

They enter the church, only to find it empty except for the altar boys getting things ready and the elderly members of the church choir gossiping on the benches. 

“Good,” Lucy murmurs under her breath, letting out a sigh of relief, “We made it on time.” 

“Nobody's even here mom,” Arthur mumbles. 

“That's exactly my point, Arthur. Remember, being on time means you’re the first one to arrive.” Lucy smiles serenely, the first to sit at their usual spot at the first row on the left side, near the aisle, right where the priest can see them, “And remember you two, Kelly’s are always on time, isn't that right Harry?” 

Harry hums absentmindedly, “Yes, dear, indeed.” 

Lucy's smile tenses, only for it to turn perfectly polite once more at the sound of the church door's opening once more. She doesn't turn her head around, but she mouths excitedly ‘It's the Johnsons!’

Harry sighs. The Johnsons. Their supposed rivals. Harry tried to understand why, but all Lucy bothered to tell him was that they were the only other family around who were “Of an equal pedigree,” and that was enough for Harry to just give up and let her entertain herself. 

The Johnsons pass by them and file into the portion of the first row on the right, Elena Johnson gives Lucy a curt smile, “I see you're as early as ever Lucy.” 

“What can I say?” Lucy laughs, airy and elegant, “We try.” 

Harry looks at Raymond Johnson, and they both share solemn nods. Women, am I right?

While his wife and Mrs. Johnson exchange passive-aggressive pleasantries, Harry tunes all that noise out and waits for service to start. 

Time passes, the church fills in with more people, and soon the music starts playing and Father Hughes arrives and asks them all to please stand. 

—

“I can't believe we're doing this–” 

“What? Do you want to listen to Father Callahan yap for an hour?” 

“Well, no– but we're sneaking out of mass!” 

“Bah, God gave us our dicks for a reason, I'm just putting them to good use.” 

“You're insatiable.” 

“And you're just what I need to fill me up.” 

— 

“You guys thinking of heading out tonight?” Raymond is scratching at the pocket of his pants, Harry narrows his eyes, already thinking of lighting a cigarette. 

“Can't,” David sighs, “Emily wants me to watch her father while she goes out to the country club. Something about a meeting for one of those book clubs of hers.” 

Frank snorts, unlike Raymond he doesn't feel enough shame to think twice about lighting a cuban and sticking it between his teeth, “Bullshit, she's probably going to see that new guy that moved in. He's all the ladies have been talking about, Pamela won't shut up about him.” 

Raymond glares at Frank, “Hey, that's my nephew you're talking about Frank,” He sneers at the cigar, “And put that out, the smell is gonna stick to my suit and if El catches even a whiff she's going to lose her shit.” 

Frank smirks, “Not my fault your nephew's a little manwhore and your wife's a neatfreak.” 

“Why you-!” Raymond raises his fist, but Harry elbows him none too gently and clears his throat. 

“Watch yourself Ray,” Harry reminds him, eyes glancing around them to see if anybody saw, but everybody else is too preoccupied to notice. 

Victor sighs, “Frank's right though Ray, even Sarah's got eyes on him…” 

Harry scoffs, “Not even your ‘perfect angel' can resist a handsome young man Vic, deal with it.”

Frank raises a brow at him, “I'm surprised you don't mind Harry,” He chuckles, “Or is this just something that comes with having such a good little wife, hm? Don't have to worry about a spry young thing stealing her away.”

Ray fumes, if it were possible Harry feels like he'd start seeing steam spew from his ears, “Charles isn't the type to do that!” He scans the crowd near the church, his hazel eyes lighting up when they land on his target, “Charles, boy, come here would you? I have somebody I'd like to introduce you to!”

Harry and the rest follows his line of sight to whoever Raymond called out to, expecting somebody with Raymond's red hair and pale freckled skin- only for Harry's heart to skip a beat and his breath hitch at the familiar figure approaching them. 

Is that… could that be…? 

But it is only disappointment that sets in when he realises it's not him. He has the same set to his jaw, the same build, even the lips are the same… but it's not him. 

“Charles, I'd like you to meet my friends,” Ray beams, and he starts to introduce them all one by one, but Harry can't help but tune them out when Charles’ eyes fix on him. Harry flinches at the intensity of his gaze, it's a different colour… but the exact same shape and piercing quality. 

They stare at each other for a few moments, before Charles lips curl into a smirk– God, the resemblance is scary.

“And this is Harold Kelly,” Raymond says his name and snaps Harry out of his thoughts. He almost scrambles to get his hand out of his pocket and sticks it out for Charles to shake. 

“Nice to meet you, Charles,” Harry tries for a friendly smile, just like he practised in the mirror, “I've heard a lot about you.”

“Only good things I hope,” Charles grins, he shakes Harry's hand and surprises him with how firm his grip is. 

“Well..” Harry chuckles, “I'm not going to say any names but…” 

“No,” Charles' smile widens, he glares playfully at Raymond, “What exactly have you been telling them Uncle Ray?” 

“I said nothing-!” 

Harry can't help but find himself entranced, he feels like he's been taken back in time. To a simpler chapter of his life when he didn't have to worry as much about putting on the image of the perfect family man, mindful of his appearance and reputation. To a time when his biggest concern was figuring out how he could spend as much time with [Name] as possible without getting caught. But like all chapters, there is an inevitable end. 

Still, when Charles smiles at him, mischievous and cheshire in the way it curls, Harry could blink and see [Name] standing in his place. Young, bold, and reckless.

— 

Maybe Harry should've just gone ahead and pulled Arthur out of little league. It wasn't cruel. No, it was just teaching him that actions had consequences. Even if it was just pulling Gwen's hair. You know, just to prevent further mishaps in the future. 

It's totally not because he doesn't want to see Charles. Charles Johnson, his son's little league coach. Charles Johnson the man who looks so much like [Name] that he's 50 percent sure that Charles was either made in a lab with [Name]’s DNA, or a relative Harry never knew he had.

Charles, the man that’s been the latest subject of his dreams. Okay, not really. Sure, the dream starts out with Charles, but eventually Charles’ hair shifts, his eye colour changes, and suddenly the dream is about [Name]. 

But still, whenever Harry sees Charles around, which is often since he often visits the Johnsons, his next-door neighbours, he just can’t seem to take his eyes off his figure. From the curve of his neck, to that perfect ass of him wrapped in slim fit joggers that accentuate the roundness of it perfectly—

No, he reminds himself, you promised yourself not to think about it, and you won’t.

“Harry!” Charles smiles at him, he fiddles with the whistle tied around his neck, “I didn't expect you to be here. Thinking of signing up? You'd make a great first baseman.” 

“Oh yeah?” Harry laughs, momentarily forgetting about the presence of Arthur and all the other children who are nearby, “Why's that?”

“Well.. for starters, you seem like the kind of guy to be..” His gaze wanders, his fingers rub at his whistle, “Really flexible. Maybe you could even give me some tips, perhaps a private lesson..” 

“Kgh– uh, ahem, I… I think you’ve got the wrong idea…” 

Harry didn’t mind being flirted with, honestly, unless his wife was around you could shoot your shot and he’d probably reciprocate. But his son was here, other parents were here, and Charles wasn’t a young woman interested in hooking up with an older, more experienced man, no Charles was the nephew of one of the few friends he had left, his son’s little league coach and not to mention a man. A man that was sporting the same smirk [Name] would try to goad him with, and a smirk that would always work. It sure as hell was working right now. 

“Do I?” Charles smirks, and Harry has to project the mental image of Lucy scolding him for getting grass stains on his nice jeans to stop himself from just collapsing on his knees, “I’ve seen the way you looked at me, Harry, and I can tell..” 

“Y-you can tell what?” Harry feels his adam apple bob as Charles takes another step closer, he wants to glance around to see if anybody can see what’s happening but all he can look at right now is Charles. 

“That you want to chew me up and swallow me whole,” Charles fingers at the collar of his compression shirt, pulling it down to expose just a bit of his cleavage, “Nah, scratch that, you don’t want it. You need it, don’t you?”

“I…” 

Charles’ eyes look away from his for a moment to look at the boys who’ve started playing catch with each other, he grins at Harry, “Let’s talk about this later, yeah?” 

Without waiting for a response he steps aside and calls out, “Alright kids, gather ‘round! Let’s start with a warm-up, shall we?” 

— 

“Jesus, so excited~”

“Oh come on, don’t act like you haven’t been teasing me the entire time during practice…”

“Whaaat? What’re you talking about? I have no idea what you’re saying..” 

“Pleasee, just, ngh, I don’t think I can take it any longer.” 

“Tsk, tsk. Come on, you can do better than that. On your knees, like I taught you.”

— 

“So, have you thought about my– mmph!” 

Harry doesn’t even waste another moment. Charles is putting away the equipment in the shed. He’s sent Arthur home with one of the other boys. Nobody else is here to see Harry slip his hand down the front of Charles’ shorts, and nobody else is around to hear Charles pant when the kiss breaks off. 

“H-how.. How are you this good at kissing?” Harry nearly whines, he feels like a teenager again, sneaking around with [Name] and fucking in places they really shouldn’t be in. 

Charles snickers, “A magician never tells his secrets. So, are you gonna put it in or should I?” 

— 

“Who gave those to you?” 

“Gave what?” 

“Don’t play dumb with me. You can try it with Richard, you can try it with Peter, you can try it with literally anybody else, but you’ll never be able to fool me. So just spill.” 

“Really, it’s nothing. Just some bugs. Little fuckers won’t leave me alone.” 

“Are you sure? Is anybody bothering you?” 

“No, really, I’m fine. … See you in calc?” 

“You can’t just… you can’t just do that and say nothing…” 

“Hahaha, ever heard of actions speak louder than words?”

“Then what was that meant to say?”

“That I love you, and I love that you care, but you don’t need to worry so much.” 

“...Fine. But if anything is going on, just know–”

“You don’t need to remind me, I know you’ll always be there. If you weren’t I’d actually kill you.” 

“Haha. Now go, or Terror is gonna chew you out.” 

“Love you!”

— 

In Harry’s defence, he was never one to think things through. That was [Name]’s job. He was the one who made sure they would be in a deserted area. Alone. With nobody around to see. He was meticulous too, always making sure they left nothing behind. The only reason Richard even caught on was probably because of a mistake Harry made, somewhere along the line. Because Harry would always make a mistake, he was a man made by mistakes. This was no exception. 

Charles was leaving, Harry had gone to his apartment today, and found him packing his things into unorganised boxes, items haphazardly thrown in. Six months had passed, they started sleeping in August and now it was February and Harry was carrying a bouquet and some condoms in his pocket. 

“What’s all this for?” 

“I’m moving back to Seattle,” Charles doesn’t even look up from where he’s folding his clothes into his suitcase. Harry rattles around in his head till he recalls a conversation he had with Raymond over why Charles moved to town in the first place. There were better job prospects, apparently.

It turns out better job prospects was just something he told people to mask the real reason why, he and his boyfriend had a big fight, Charlie had a bit too much whiskey, and suddenly he’s bought an apartment his uncle Ray has placed on the market and quitting his job at the same school his then ex, now current boyfriend, was teaching at. 

They got back together, apparently. Harry even got to meet him, a young man by the name of Amos who had the same exact green eyes Richard did, but was far friendlier than his old ‘friend’ ever was.

“Oh, nice to meet you, you must be Harry,” Amos beams, grabbing his hand and shaking it with vigour, “Charlie has told me all about you! Thanks for making him feel welcome here, you must be sad he’s leaving, huh?” 

Harry forces a smile on his face, “Yeah… he’s really become a part of community,” He hands Amos the bouquet, glancing at Charles who still has his back turned to them, “Here, I was planning to give this to Charles, something to spruce the place up a bit, but I guess it’s better as a more of a going away gift than anything now, huh?” 

He doesn’t go home after, no instead he goes to a bar in another town where nobody will recognize him so Lucy doesn’t rage at him when somebody will eventually snitch that they saw him slinging beers like the world was about to end at any moment.

Maybe it’s the alcohol or maybe he’s starting to go insane, but he starts to hear [Name]’s voice as he’s walking back to his car.

“Come on Harry, fix that walk of yours,” He can hear the smirk in [Name]’s voice, “You may be hammered as fuck right now but christ, at least try to act like you’re not.” 

“You sound like Lucy,” Harry mutters under his breath, he wraps his arms around himself, the cold starting to seep in through the thin layers of clothing he’s put on. 

But he listens anyway, no longer dragging his feet on the concrete, now he’s properly walking, his vision blurs from time to time and he nearly trips on air, but Harry is listening to [Name]’s voice and [Name] always knew better than he did, even if what he’s hearing right now is probably just a figment of his own imagination. 

[Name] snorts, “You should listen to her Harry. She’s a smart woman and I love you, but she cares too much and you care too little and it’s cruel that you're not giving her the treatment she deserves. She’s trying her best and you should appreciate her for it.” 

Harry shakes his head, “I didn’t ask her to marry me,” Left, right, left, right. One foot in front of the other, he trudges onward. 

“Yeah, but you didn’t say no. You could have, but you didn’t.”

“I had no choice.”

“No, you thought you had no choice. There’s always a choice Harry, you know this, I know this, deep down everybody does.” 

“Well, I wouldn’t have said yes if you didn’t leave.” 

[Name] goes quiet, and Harry starts to panic, he’s about to apologise and plead for him to speak, he misses his voice, he misses everything really, but then [Name] releases a long, pained sigh, “Harry, would you really expect me to stay, or come back when I thought you didn’t want me there anymore.” 

“But I did–”

“Yes, and I thought you didn’t. It sure seemed like it. You never fought for me, you never pursued me of your own accord after what Richard said to you back in the cabin. I didn’t have a reason to stay anymore after you practically dumped me, and so I left. I don’t get what you’re failing to understand here.” 

“You were cheating on me.” Harry accuses, voice rising in tone, hoarse as his chest aches with a burning pain as memories of his past are dug up without his consent. Alcohol is meant to make you forget isn’t it? Then why is he starting to remember everything he never wanted to recall.

“Do you think I wanted to? I was protecting you. Protecting you because of the very mistake you made. Do you know what I had to go through? Could you even comprehend what I was feeling at the time? What Richard was doing to me?” 

“I… I…” 

“I… I…” [Name] mocks him, and Harry curls in on himself in the middle of the street, hugging his legs and burying his face in his arms, “You what, Harry? You’re sorry? You didn’t mean to? Whatever you have to say to me, I’d love to hear it. Just know that you’re wasting your breath, because it’s not gonna change a thing.” 

“Why are you so cruel?” Harry croaks, his voice a candle’s weak flame,  “Never… you would never say this to me [Name], never..” 

“All I’m saying is what you need to hear Harry,” [Name] is silent like he’s considering his next words carefully, “You should stay at a hotel, you’re too drunk to drive.” 

“What do you know?” Harry mutters, “You’re just a voice in my head.” 

“Well, you’re the one listening to the voice in your head. Besides, when has anything I’ve ever told you not been helpful?” 

“I hate you…” Harry grumbles.

“Who exactly are you trying to fool here Harry?” [Name] chuckles, “We both know you’re lying.” 

— 

Harry drives back home with a pounding head yet is somehow able to avoid crashing the car, he arrives back before the sun has fully risen and he parks the car outside. He peeks in through one of the windows, and lets out a sigh of relief when he sees the living room is clear. Good, maybe he can sneak into his bedroom without being noticed. He’ll tell Lucy he was out drinking with the boys, he’ll even make breakfast for her before she wakes up. 

He opens the door and starts thinking about where he placed the instructions Lucy’s mother gave him for the recipe of Lucy’s favourite breakfast, but before he could even take another step, Lucy comes exits from the kitchen, dressed in her nightgown with dark circles around her eyes, her golden locks an absolute mess. 

“I know about Charles,” Lucy doesn’t even look at him, “I know about [Name].” 

Harry stiffens, “How…” 

“Oh please,” Lucy scoffs, she’s still avoiding Harry’s eyes, “At least Frank and Victor know better than to parade around with their lover. I saw you and Charles at Tina’s last December, he was wearing your jacket, and you followed him into the bathroom and didn’t leave till nearly an hour later.” 

“And… what about [Name]?” 

“That? I knew for a long time now Harry, I’m not an idiot, and I’m not blind either. The days when [Name] would come to school looking like got mauled with how many bites were on his skin always came after nights you would cancel dates and plans. And god, the way you looked at him made me envious, Harry. Do you know why I flirted with Richard? It’s because when he looked me in the eyes, he could at least pretend that he adored me. But you… tsk, you could only ever look at [Name] with such an expression.

“Why did you even date me, Harry?” Lucy finally looks at him, and Harry can see that her eyes are red at the rims, “Why did you marry me? Did you ever even love me? Was there ever a moment that you looked at me and thought ‘This girl, this girl could be the one’ or did you only think that about [Name]?” 

Harry was terrible at speaking, nor was he ever the best at expressing how he felt, and he never hated that fact more than he did in this exact moment. He didn’t love Lucy the way he loved [Name], but she was family, and Harry wouldn’t say that if he didn’t love her, at least a bit, and that counted for something. 

At Harry’s lack of a proper response, Lucy’s shoulders slump, and she releases a shaky breath, “I should have known.” 

“Lucy… wait!” Harry tries to grab her hand only for Lucy to wrest it out from his grasp. 

She whirls around, and whatever Harry was about to say fades from his tongue when he sees Lucy's face, cheeks streaked with tears and the tips of her nose and ears turned an almost pinkish red, “I've been waiting Harry, how much longer are you going to make me wait for you to finally move on? When will you finally be able to look me in the eyes and say those three simple words?” 

“Lucy, you have to understand, it's not easy for me,” Harry tries to reason with her, only for Lucy to let out a derisive chuckle. 

“Oh believe me Harry, I've been trying,” Lucy gnashes at her teeth, her hands curl into fists that along with the rest of her, shake with pure unadulterated resentment, “I've wasted two decades of my life trying to understand what goes on in that head of yours, and honestly? I give up. What's the point in any of this when you're not even going to pull your weight in this relationship.” 

Lucy's words are accompanied by a sense deja vu that causes Harry to shudder a bit, but he forces himself to look her in the eye, and tries not to flinch, “Lucy, I… I love you.” 

This isn't like those films, where the man would seal the confession with a heated kiss and the woman would readily declare her love for him as well. No, instead Lucy shakes her head as she laughs, the sound is hollow and sends sharp little silver daggers into his heart, “You can't even lie properly.” 

“Lucy…” Harry tries to reach out to her again, only for her to slap his hand away and turn around. He watches her retreating back, and though he knows he doesn't deserve to cry, he still feels the familiar sensation of warm tears streaming down his face.

—

“Harry, come on, what did I do? Don't play this game with me, we both know you're going to lose.” 

“ … You did nothing wrong. I just… I just think that we should take a break.” 

“What? What do you mean a break. Are- wait, are you dumping me?” 

“No! I mean… yeah– But… just… ugh, I just think we shouldn't see each other anymore.” 

“Is this because of Richard? Did he threaten you?” 

“He— He didn't. It's… what we're doing with each other… it's wrong, it's not right.” 

“Harry, if Richard said something, tell me, please.” 

“I'm telling you, he had nothing to do with this.” 

“Okay. Okay, so— so why do you care? Why now? Because last time I recalled you couldn't care less–” 

“I just do. Okay? I care now! I care because I realised that I don't want to spend the rest of my life hiding this. I don't want to have this weighing me down for the rest of my life. Don't you feel the same? That our relationship is limiting us?” 

“Is that all this is to you? A burden?” 

“So what if it is? Don't you want to be normal? To have kids? To get married?”

“I don't give a fuck about being normal Harry! I just… I… I just want to be with you Harry, that's all I want, please.” 

“We can't. I'm sorry, I just don't want to spend the rest of my life hiding.” 

“...” 

“... Are you okay?” 

“You really are a coward. Huh. Richard was right.” 

“[Name]...” 

“If you want to break up, then fine. Fine. But you could at least be honest about why.” 

“[Name], please, understand…” 

“I'm done trying to understand Harry, how can I when you're not even telling me everything. Enjoy the rest of your life.. bastard.” 

— 

Lucy and Harry spend Valentine's Day eating dinner at a hotel. The kids are with a babysitter, and though Lucy still isn't talking to him, they still go because they spent too much money on it, it would be a waste if they didn't. 

Usually they have sex, even if neither of them ever put much effort into it, but Lucy went to bed early, and Harry can't sleep so he goes downstairs to the bar. 

He leaves the elevator, and passes by the pool on the way. Amidst the water splashing, adults and kids alike enjoying themselves, laughing boisterously, a young man rushes past him, a wide smile on his face. 

“[Name]!” He yells, and Harry freezes. Instinctively he whips his head around and his eyes go wide. 

There, right there, is [Name]. He looks older now, and some things have changed, but Harry could recognize him blindfolded, with his ears plugged, and only by pressing his hand against his chest and feeling the steady beat of his heart. 

His hands ball into fists, and his lips part, about to call out for him, only for him to feel a smaller hand wrap around his. Harry jolts, and turns to see Lucy, her hair fixed and a light layer of makeup on her face. 

She says nothing, she doesn't have to. Harry has gotten better at that, being able to read her, it's a skill that's come in handy recently. 

Right now he is not Harry, a reckless teenager who doesn't know what's good for him, he is Harold Kelly, a husband and a father of two, with a reputation to maintain and an image to uphold, and certainly more common sense than he did twenty years ago. 

“You're awake,” Harry starts to smile, “Were you looking for me long?” 

Lucy shakes her head, “No. Where were you headed to?” She wraps her arm around his, and his smile grows.

“The bar, I may be old but the night is still young,” Harry jokes, and is pleasantly surprised when a small grin forms on Lucy's face. 

“Would you like to join me, dear?” 

“Why, I'd love to.”

The two of them walk in sync, the portrait of a loving husband and wife spending Valentines together the way any other couple should. Harry looks behind him, one last time, but [Name] is already gone. 

[w2soneshots]

Trust -W2S

words: 0.9k+

warnings: angst, jealousy, argument.

summary: you and Simon have known each other all your lives but everything changes when he meets a certain girl.

notes: I absolutely love Talia! This does in no way represent her irl🤍

I've known Simon my entire life. I met him during my first year in preschool, and we immediately became inseparable. We also share a birthday (7th of September). Since I moved to London with Simon I naturally became great friends with the boys, along with Freya and Faith. Our relationship has always been completely platonic, he's like a brother to me and I wouldn't dream of ever going near him in that way. Each girlfriend he's had has always seemed liked me, I presume it's because I make sure that they know I'm a girls girl and always make an effort to become their friend too.

Until he met Talia. She has made it very clear that she doesn't trust me, which completely confused me since I've been nothing but nice to her. It's been 3 months since Simon met her and I've barely seen him. He avoids me at parties, every night out and rarely replies to any of my messages.

One night during a party at JJ's apartment... as I walked towards the counter containing all the alcohol I realised Simon was leaning there with his back against the marble and arms crossed. I took a deep breath and quickly lent over him to grab one of the red cups. "What are you doing?!" My brows furrowed as I quickly turned around. Talia stood in front of me with an angry look on her face. "Getting a drink?" I replied. "Didn't look like it." She retaliated angrily. I turned my head to Simon. He stood sheepishly looking at the ground. I huffed "you know what, I'm so fucking tired of your shit. Both of you!" I shouted. Everyone quickly gathered around the kitchen area. "I've known him my whole fucking life!" I spat in Talia's face. When nether of them said a word I shook my head in disbelief, grabbed my things and left, with a quick "sorry" to JJ on my way out.

That night I got a text from Harry checking if I was alright and after that we became close, sitting in the corner and chatting amongst ourselves at parties and nights out (that he'd made sure I was invited to), going round to each other's houses to watch a movie (even though he hates them) and eat takeout, texting constantly, etc.

One night while we were sat on my sofa, my feet perched comfortably on his lap, he told me he liked me. Surprisingly it wasn't at all awkward and I quickly told him I felt the same. When we told everyone they seemed very happy for us. I didn't personally tell Simon but I believe JJ informed him about it, which felt weird because we always told each other everything.

Soon after Harry asked me to be his girlfriend while we were on a date in a cute restaurant, obviously I said yes. It continued on like that for another few weeks. I seriously missed Simon, I mean we've known each other forever. We did everything together and I'm so incredibly appreciative of Harry but I just feel like something's missing. So for the first time in months I decided to text him.

y/n:

Hey, how are you?

Simon:

I'm good

You?

y/n:

Fine

I miss you

Simon:

I miss you too

How are you and Harry?

y/n:

Really good

I'm glad he's been here for me when you weren't

Simon:

I'm sorry.

Are you free tomorrow?

y/n:

Why?

Simon:

Talia wants to apologise

And so do I

That message shocked me. I told him I was free so I'm going round to his apartment tomorrow at 1.

The next day... I woke up relatively early, got dressed into some comfy clothes, did my skincare, hair, then had some breakfast. Once I was finished it was almost 1 so I grabbed my phone and left.

When I arrived outside the apartment building I let myself in using the code that I've had memorised for years, said a quick "hello" to the receptionist then made my way up through the lift. I knocked on Simon's door. And played with my hands while I waited. The door clicked, I took a deep breath. He stood with a comforting smile on his face. "Come in." He said, stepping aside. I nervously walked into the apartment, then he led me towards the living room, where Talia sat on the sofa. Both me and Simon sat down. It was silent for a moment before Talia spoke "I'm ready sorry y/n," she began "I should've trusted you. I- I was just a little intimidated by how good you and Simon's friendship was and I was worried he'd chose you over me." I smiled lightly. "I understand." Her head shot up. "You do?" She questioned. I nodded "I'd feel the same way, but if you'd just gotten to know me you'd have realised that I seriously wouldn't go near him with a six foot pole." "Oi!" Simon shouted, offended. Talia laughed.

After almost an hour sat in the apartment it became considerably less awkward, and I realised that Talia was actually a really nice girl. Simon also apologised for pushing me away and since life's too short to hold grudges I easily forgave them both.

[take-it-on-the-run]

Jack Kline Playlist

"I'll be in every drop of falling rain."

Jack Kline Masterlist | Supernatural Masterlist | Main Page Masterlist

A/N: Could also be interpreted as 'Falling for Jack Kline' . I love Jack sm. He could ask me to get him some water or to kill someone and I would react just the same.

Human // Daughter

Buried deep within; there's a human; and despite everything; I'm still human; but I think I'm dying here

I Gave You All // Mumford & Sons

If only I had an enemy; bigger than my apathy; I could've won

Achilles Come Down // Gang of Youths

Hurt and grieve but don't suffer alone; engage with the pain as a motive

Way Down We Go // KALEO

Oh, father tell me; do we get what we deserve?

Arsonist's Lullabye // Hozier

When I knew loves perfect ache; but my peace has always depended; on all the ashes in my way; all you have is your fire; and the place you need to reach

Back to the Old House // The Smiths

The saddest thing I've ever seen; and you never knew how much I really liked you; because I never even told you; oh, and I meant to

The Night We Met // Lord Huron

Take me back to the night we met; and then I can tell myself; what the hell I'm supposed to do; and then I can tell myself; not to ride along with you

Rosyln // Bon Iver, St. Vincent

Wings wouldn't help you; wings wouldn't help you down

Chemtrails Over The Country Club // Lana del Rey

You're in the wind, I'm in the water; nobody's son; nobody's daughter

Fade Into You // Mazzy Star

You put your hands into your head; and then smiles cover your heart

Take Me To Church // Hozier

The only heaven I'll be sent to is when I'm alone with you; I was born sick, but I love it

Angel of Small Death and the Codeine Scene // Hozier

Feeling more human and hooked on her flesh; I lay my heart down with the rest at her feet