#keep this going with all representation
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#big shoutout to atsushi ohkubo and shinichiro watanabe#keep this going with all representation#and don’t be afraid to make em powerful either#also this post is best viewed in either dark mode or the classic tumblr blue
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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
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no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
#cw: suicidal ideation#cw: suicide#cw: self harm#cw: mental health#cw: depression#i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it#i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague#it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves#so. please dont#for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic#with the state of the world as it is#having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful#but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full#and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead#i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us#there is no fix-all#and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile#i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it#thank you for reading#and please stay alive#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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IAN GALLAGHER + his journey with bipolar disorder
╰┈➤ “At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of." - Carrie Fisher
#happy world bipolar day to all my bp babies#(more thoughts at the end of the tags)#shameless#shamelessnet#shamelessedit#ian gallagher#cameron monaghan#*macygifs#bipolar disorder#hello pals how are we doin#i made this gif set in july of 2023 and never posted it because 1) i was terrified to share it and potentially see Bad Takes in the tags#and 2) because my hyperfixation was waning. and while both of those things are still mostly true (the fixation comes and goes)#i feel like it's really important to share as ian's bipolar storyline was not only so vital to his character it was a bit of representation#that isn't often given to the disorder and those (like myself) who live with it every single day#world bipolar day is a day where we can both celebrate ourselves and our resilience and also raise awareness of the reality of the disorder#which is both terrifying and beautiful at its core. this disease is not a death sentence or a sentence to an unfulfilled and miserable life#while there are challenges galore when it comes to balancing life with this disorder it IS possible to live a full and productive life#and i think it's really important to have representation of that in media - and while shameless dropped the ball on a LOT of storylines#over the years THIS is the one they really fucking nailed and i am incredibly grateful#i first started watching shameless while in the midst of a major depressive episode and i was later (finally) diagnosed during an extended#hypo/manic episode - this show and ian's storyline got me through so much and made me feel so seen and validated in my struggles#world bipolar day is also vincent van gogh's birthday (happy birthday buddy) who was posthumously diagnosed with bipolar disorder#and who experienced both depressive and hypo/manic episodes during his lifetime (and was regularly institutionalized)#it takes a lot of help and support to keep us going. it takes the support of our family and friends and *most* of all#it takes patience and kindness and understanding - which is so so so easy to give if you are willing to love and listen#so please. be willing. listen to our stories. be patient with us. show us love without conditions. support us in any way you can.#we are worth it#i promise#anyway. that's really all i wanted to say. happy world bipolar day to those who celebrate (me) and may all of us living with this disorder#go on to live happy fulfilling beautiful magical lives
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Dear silm fandom, concerning Fandom meta. Might be provocative for some.
‘The silm fandom is misogynistic’ ‘Feanorian fans are misunderstanding the characters’ ‘Silm fans hate Elwing’ And so on.
Can we stop? Your opinions are not better if you like feanorians. Your opinions are not better if you like peredhil. This is not black and white. I won’t argue ‘not all silm fans’, because I recognise that we have problems. But condescension will not fix them. Thank you.
#Okay#I tried to keep this post as neutral and concise as I could#Because I’m having a lot of thoughts about it#and I’m going to get very opinionated in the tags.#I am sick of feeling hated by online strangers because they think I’m a misogynist#or they think I haven’t read the text#Or they think I’m not as clever#not as understanding as they are#Yes#I am fifteen.#Maybe you do understand the text more than me.#or maybe we both have valid opinions and you can stop telling me I belong in a category that isn’t mine.#I like celegorm#i accept that Celegorm has done vile things#i am still compelled by his character#I am not fucking reading him wrong#I am trying so hard to read him right#People will say ‘I am a feanorian stan but-‘ and proceed to insult all feanorian stans#Be nice#please stop acting all high and mighty#and I get it! It’s hard!#it’s hard to have opinions and be kind about them#Because not everyone’s opinions are the same#But for god’s sake you better think so hard about what you’re saying before you post it#because you sound like you are ignoring fandom discourse and the concept of ‘morally grey’ because of woke#And I know the very things I’m saying are exactly what I’m trying to stop#But I would like some counter-representation out there#I would like some honest conversation that doesn’t involve immediate side-taking#I also love arguing#i am also very hot-headed
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say hi to me i don't know, i just remembered being so much brighter, i guess
cigarette ash like wildfire burning holes in the nighttime open scars feel like barbed wire white lies flying high like a ceasefire dropping flags on the shoreline this is as far as i can feel right 'cause what you don't know can haunt you
and all we ever wanted was sunlight and honesty highlights to want to repeat let's get away from here and live like the movies do i won't mind when it's over at least i didn't think for a while
don't drag it out living like that doesn't mean a thing
so let's, make a great escape and i'll be waiting outside for the getaway it doesn't matter who we are we'll keep running through the dark and all we'll ever need is another day we can slow down 'cause tomorrow is a mile away and live like shooting stars 'cause happy endings hardest to fake
and i wanna let you know i wanna let you go but i just can't bring myself to speak but this is how it goes the end credits, they roll this bridge was built over kerosene but we can watch it and all i ever wanted was sunlight and honesty highlights to want to repeat let's get away from here and live like the movies do i won't mind when it's over at least i didn't think
so let's run, make a great escape and i'll be waiting outside for the getaway it doesn't matter who we are we'll keep running through the dark and all we'll ever need is another day we can slow down 'cause tomorrow is a mile away and live like shooting stars you can wish away forever but you'll never find a thing like today
#miraculous ladybug#felix fathom#marinette dupain cheng#felix graham de vanily#🌃#ml amv#felinette felinette felinette FELINETTE#i'm shrimping so hard i'm gromping i'm making absolute tempura#yes the 2 am coco pops félix post was made while i was finishing this yes i am constantly experiencing inconsolable félix feelings#félings even. GOD GOD GOD okay listen#i could do a line by line analysis of this song and how i made the amv i have too many thoughts to put in the tags i am exploding#but in summary REPRESENTATION. REPRESENTATION. EMOTION. REPRESENTATION. EMOTION. REPLIQUE. FUCK ME#félix's trauma an open scar leading her to the art room as far as both of them will go to feel right#ALL HE EVER WANTED WAS TO KEEP ADRIEN AND THEN MARINETTE SAFE#it doesn't matter who we are we'll keep running through the dark huAHUAHHGAG I MTHRWOING UP it's how he doesn't care what she thinks of him#how she sees him whether she hates him he's Chosen her as someone to protect and he will DO IT he will TAKE HER WHEN HE RUNS#i don't care if you beat me i know i have this under control and i'm protecting you and everything is going to be okay EXPLOIDNGNIG#tomorrow is a mile away tomorrow where i find out who you are tomorrow where we have to come apart#this is how it GOES you're the hero i'm the villain adrien is the lover i'm the monster i'm the cousin#marinette and félix and Knowing each other is so#THEY DESERVE SO MANY OTHER DAYS THEY DESERVE TO SLOW DOWN AND BE WITH EACH OTHER AND NOT HAVE TOMORROW PULL EVERYTHING AWAY AND UAHAUHGAUGH#i'm not well about them. félix and freedom and escape#ALSO i have so many feelings about félix cherishing the people he wants to save so much he was willing to do the same thing that led to#his own trauma and use the peacock miraculous TWICE. ARE YOU KIDDING ME ARE YOU KIDDING ME#you can read it differently but right now come with me ARE YOU KIDDING ME#also ALSO i often think about how felinette standing in front of réplique is a reference to pv felinette#and me placing that directly before the wish is a nod to how the pv was rewritten into canon miraculous. a meta wish... felinette remains#but also in universe you can wish away the world that once was and you'll still never find another thing quite like félix#and who you were and could have been to each other today... cherish him marinette... please cherish him for me#i hit tag limit on this essay so i'm not tagging the episodes i used in the amv but i used all eight félix episodes as always
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“...Wrong? Why would anything go wrong?”
Without further ado, a stimboard for @ask-the-biggering-onceler!
x|x|x x|x|x x|x|x
#TADAAAA :D#ohh there's SO much going on here#the first one is interesting bc i tried to avoid gifs of the outside#but this one strikes me as a moment from before the blog started#a brief moment of introspection and dwelling on the past as he looks out at the dwindling remains of the forest#though to him i’m sure any second thought about what could��ve been is a second wasted and he snaps himself out of it shortly after#THE BEAR THE TEDDY BEAR#it's a foreboding reference to the barbaloots it's a representation of the past it's everything to me :D#the spotlight for being the center of attention and scrutiny alike; loud and flashy juxtaposed with the softer candles on the other side#the gears are for the factory but note how clean it looks#showing his desperate attempts to keep his reputation intact and insist that absolutely nobody has died within the walls of this place#the velvety red fabric resembles both theater curtains (performance and the blog) and the curtains in his office#and they’re positioned opposite to the one glimpse we see of the outside world calling back to that one scene in the 1972 version#a camera for both his surveillance over thneedville and the press plus a reference to that old photo of him before his business days#the entire middle column is a brief glimpse into all the good intent that got soured along the way#while the right column represents his success and splendor#alternatively the bear and the camera could reference that one scene in hbcib with pipsqueak!#and that last one is for the extravagance of the ball!#you could say it being next to the camera means he’ll be keeping a close eye on partygoers >:3#i actually steered clear of stuff like sewing and other such manual work to show how he stands at the very top#arghh i could go on about every little part of the layout and how the different themes connect and oppose each other it's so fun!!!!! :D#anyways i hope ya like it ouo!!!#biggerler#ask the biggering onceler#stimboard#my nonsense
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#feeling so silly lawwlll walking in circles#i thnk im feeling a special type of way ..#i know i keep going on ab the samw bs and how crazy gf YEAAH UEAH WE GET IT#but i thnk in doing so im like revisiting parts of myself and writing more and i think im jst being sentimental#sooo sentimental .. so saccharine ..#everyone has been rly nice ab my art LIKE SOOOOO NICE RECENTLY#and imean people always have like im very lucky and grateful 2 be able to feel like i can share my hobby .. ^__^#but i thjnk like . to take smth that is so representational of my like . art goals and wants from a young age#ouuyyyyuuuuuyyfff T__T ooiujjjjjj#I DONT KNWWW i dont know . i dont know what im saying but i feel like i just need 2 talk abd be like hey this is so reaffirming .needs 2#i think like . bc my life turned out soo different than i imagined ive been dealing w like . a lot of hopelessness and feeling soo stuck and#stagnant and idk bad things and in a way i think like . coming back 2 something years later and being able to see progress in such a physica#physical way and to feel like more at ease and more like myself than i ever have is rly crazy and making me think long and hard abt stuff#and its all of these like . reflections im dealing w that r then padded by like some of the nicest comments and tags itslike#head in my hands /pos . grief but like ij a way happy grief#INFEEL SOOO RIDICULOUS its ridiculous it rly is IHAHAHAHAHAHA#i think its bc im turning 25 soon and thats the age i told myself id never live past iykwim which ks like crazy to drop on tmblrdotcom#but there r so many emotions tied 2 that and i think this is just one of the things^ stupid fanart ^ that makes me rly happy idk#do you know what i mean . like i feel so goofy saying it but its genuinely the connection i rly appreciate and means a lot 2 me#i feel like my ‘thank yous/i appreciate it/ means a lot’ grow tired but its soo fr every time i swear#kicking rocks or watever . i wish i cld extend my gratitude but anyways . thanks 4 reading this far if u have#ughg man and i think of the friends ive made thru this blog specifically nd my eyes r burning#sorp.. guys i love u all thank u.
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filler doodles about how i comedically whitewashed myself as a child (despite also being the darkest i had and still have ever been in my entire life) because i cannot wrap my head around it
#filler art#my art#i was also short haired at the time so its odd i drew myself as having very long hair but is it any more weird than me whitwashing myself no#i remember i also imagined myself to grow up as a white girl like#HUH??? like i was so convinced i was going to look like all the white main character girls on television ... i had to look like one#all of this was probably because of the lack of representation in tv i could find at the time tbh#BECAUSE THIS WASNT AN ISSUE OF MY DAY TO DAY LIFE NOOOOOO#in here being... moreno?!?! . brown?!?!! EVEN IF LIGHT IS MILES MORE COMMON THAN BEING WHITE#AND ITS SO MUCH MROE SILLIER BECAUSE I WAS MCUH MORE DARK THAN I CURRENTLY AM BACK THEN#as of now im more so lightskinned . nowhere near white but im not very dark either because i dont see rhe sun often ww so im pale#BACK THEN I GOT BURNT ON THE SUN AS A HOBBY im serious i sat on the hot rock floor with burning sun climate bevause it was nice#NOT EVEN THE CURLS COULD BE SAVED I HAD TO PORTRAY MYSELF AS STRAIGHT HAIRED FOR WHATEVER REASON#like on my defense i did straighten my hair out a lot as a young child but THAT LASTED LIKE 2 DAYS EVERY TIME#so 90% i was curls so its funny#ALSO WHY DID WE CALL THE CREAM COLOR “THE SKIN COLOR” WHAT#like. it wasnt just me . whole elementary school knew if you asked for rhe skin color you talkin about thay#any tone of brown simply did not work I DONT KNOW WHY WE WERE ALL LIKE THIS???#thankfully at the age of 10 i realized i infact had melanin but .. i coudlnt accept i had black hair still💀💀#so my skin and hqir color were always the same in portrayals ITS SO FUNNY IM SORRY#I FIDN THIS INSANELY FUNNY IM SO SORRY#dont feel too concerned i wasnt ashamed of my skin color or anything but i had the warped idea i would look white soon#not if you keep cooking youself in the sun you wont /j#i dont know what to say about how i draw myself now a days i dont draw myself as myself but i know i aint white now its okay 🩷 (/hj)
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not even gonna tag this properly bc i don't wanna get Involved but i do have some Thoughts i need to get out into the void so here we go
(aaa quick edit: CW for mention/discussion of Boothill leaks)
#today's gone Badly and i'm upset but instead of venting abt it i'm gonna channel that energy into doing a bit of tag rambling abt Boothill#well. less abt Him and more abt uh. self-analyzing my anxiety surrounding contributing to fandoms. he's just today's catalyst#like. i know it's mostly a me thing. i'm hypersensitive to criticism and very conflict avoidant + socially anxious + perfectionistic etc.#so I'm the one that keeps myself from posting more stuff out of fear of being criticized or called-out for what i've made#bc inevitably Someone's gonna see it and think its OOC or a problematic take or they'll misread my intent. etc etc what have you#but like. that's inevitable. there's no way to communicate every single thing with all of the nuance required to avoid misunderstandings#and other times it's not a misunderstanding it's just a difference of opinions and that's Fine!! there's no accounting for personal taste#there's no accounting for several things actually. taste‚ bias‚ lore-knowledge‚ differing levels of chronic-online-ness‚ etc#so this isn't me complaining abt the state of fandom culture (although i do think. sometimes. ppl take shit a bit too seriously)#but anyways all of this is mostly just anxiety-fueled. it's not like i very often actually even receive negative feedback or anything#if anything ppl tend to tell me that i'm overthinking it and killing my own fun and worried that my stuff is more OOC than it is#which like. yeah. Yeah u right :) but that's just the way that i am! always losing the idgaf war i suppose#anyways what's Boothill got to do w this ur wondering. well. i've been thinking abt the quickly emerging concept that he's illiterate.#and it just. has me feeling a lot of ways. and watching ppl disagree over it has me feeling some Bad ways. bc it's def a loaded topic!#if you'll pardon the pun there. and i don't rlly have anything new to add other than that i'm conflicted abt it.#like yeah i saw the leaks days ago. of him mentioning 'not hitting the books' much as a child when we ask him why he sends voice messages#or voice Transcriptions ig. ykwim. and like. *braces for impact* ...i liked it? like. it doesn't feel right to call it endearing#i'm not trying to infantilize him. ok that's not the right word either but ugh. you know? what i mean?? who am i kidding even i don't know#it's not quite right to say that it feels like Representation either. but it's something close i guess#as a southern person myself who didn't receive a 'complete' education due to factors that weren't to do with my intelligence#the concept of seeing him as a capable force to be reckoned with and respected who also happens to have not received much formal education#i like that. i do. but there's so many issues w it at the same time. like. as i said‚ being southern myself has me Wary of the way Hoyo is-#writing him. as well as of the way that the fandom is taking the bits of his lore and running away w them. and i'm Very aware of how ppl-#will see a southern character and be All Too Eager to agree that they're lacking intelligence based on our Redneck™ stereotype#sigh. and before we even go too far with this. it's not even confirmed that hes completely illiterate. which is a valid criticism i've seen#there's Multiple reasons that could make him prefer voice to text. but regardless. i'm just worried that ppl will misconstrue my intentions#like. example: that edit i made the other day of him saying 'no thanks i can't read'. wasn't me playing into the stereotype of-#'haha dumb country boy can't read!' it was. in my eyes. something he'd say as a joke to make light of a potential insecurity#like. i think there's far more depth to Boothill's character if ppl could look past the surface. and i dont wanna contribute to the problem#but sometimes ppl Will have stereotypical traits and i wish the same could apply to characters as long as it's done Thoughtfully.
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2023 reads / storygraph
Something More
YA contemporary about a Palestinian-Canadian girl starting high school, navigating new crushes and accepting her recent autism diagnosis
#something more#jackie kalilieh#aroaessidhe 2023 reads#this is pretty good!#obv it’s not my kind of book but having an autistic MC made it a lot less frustrating than a similar book with an allistic MC would be imo#I thought it was a great representation of a low support needs autistic teen girl#and like. embracing her autism but also it's not the only thing the book is about#Was a bit exhausting the way she keeps going back to this guy even though he’s kinda shitty#though I guess it felt quite transparent that the narrative is partly about recognising unhealthy relationships & what mistakes you should#forgive and what are ongoing patterns. and most of the relationships are like different examples of that#so like that gave me a bit of a step back from all the drama and stuff that would have otherwise annoyed me too much#because it was obvious that that was the point of all that#I think it would have been good to have developed her relationship with her grandmother - 3/4 through something happens#and it has pretty much no emotional punch because I was like wait. she has a grandmother?#Maybe that would have made it too sad when it’s mostly a lighthearted romance but like. you could have made the thing more of just a scare
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also can we talk about how there’s so few popular musicians making gay (mlm) music that isn’t either sexual or sad?
#miles thots#like i’m so happy for queer women rn#but the lack of music that represents me is exactly why i’m drawn to artists like boygenius muna and chappell#they’re for a community i used to identify with and still feel a sort of connection to and therefore are the closest#to representing my experiences currently#and i’m definitely not saying gay artists shouldn’t sing about sex bc that’s awesome too#i just wish there was music that wasn’t either sad or sex (or both)#and this makes me want to come back to the lack of trans masc representation in media in general#and how when there is trans masc rep it’s Always sad and Always white with like two exceptions#or better yet infantalized!#which leave trans masc poc with *checks notes* barney#and i literally cannot think of any non white transmasc musicians rn#and the transmasc musicians i can think of are sad with the exception of noahfinnce#i could keep going forever but my point is it all comes back to representation#and when there isn’t enough of it for one group that group is going to gravitate to the next closest thing
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now this is me working out a new-to-me concept in the privacy of my own blog but god. frowns. MUST I understand the japanese historical class of teen boys who were feminized and eroticized as "a third gender" as its being presented everywhere i'm looking up this term. or rather. i guess if we're going to stick with calling "othered classes of ~men who were ~Not Men" a "third gender." can we keep going in that direction and talk about what it signifies to. silo out a whole class as a gender. when the determinant is. being sexually available. and. frowns more idk how to phrase this right now. like. Gender Failure. and also societally limited. like another gender we know and love. and which itself is Also defined in opposition. to Being A Man.
#NOW IT DOES SEEM LIKE THERE WAS A LOT OF. gender play in behavior and self presentation and societal representation. going on.#but again i would love to keep in mind. the teen boy thing. and also the knowledge that. 'many historical records report that they were#Sooooooo down to fuck and so happy to do so all the time they loved it.' is probably also often written abt girls and women.#im just kjsfhgk taking all this with a million grains of salt
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I love blue beetle and its message and I wish more people had watched it and I understand that the lack of promotion both because of the strikes and because the studios don't give a shit has affected it negatively and the role that racism/xenophobia play in people's disinterest towards the characters in general BUT PLEASE let's also not forget about superhero fatigue
#i keep seeing people complain about the marvels and blue beetle flopping like: we finally got representation and people aren't showing up#and honestly have they considered that these movies (although valuable stories) are being made in part as a last ditch attempt at relevancy#marvel didn't make the Black Widow movie when it thought it had something to lose which ironically would've been a better statement than#those post-mortem crumbs they tossed at us with it#black adam shang chi blue beetle eternals and whatever else... people forget these studios need audience more than the audience needs them#they're not doing it cause representation suddenly matters (and I don't mean creators and especially not poc I mean the suits)#they're doing it cause they have something to gain and nothing to lose that they're aren't losing already (attention/public interest)#and above all else: money#so sure it's upsetting that one of my favorite superheroes is not getting the love he deserves but look at the market baby#we're fucking tired and these crumbs don't help and the political climate is a mess#studios wave diversity on our faces and even preach some good messages but then they go and put their money where exactly?#hm.#blue beetle#marvel#dceu
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I’m still working on that fic and
Vorn: We're best friends! :) I love my new job.
Broud: *breathes in Durc's direction*
Vorn: Actually, never talk to me or my new son ever again.
#clan of the cave bear#earth's children#it's not actually their literal dynamic#but i think it's funny anyway#(and it's not an UNTRUE representation of what's going on in vorn's head from like ch5 on#he turns the 'hands off my fucking stepson i hate you now' corner way faster than he's willing to admit)#it's just more complicated than that because he does resent durc and he feels guilty about what happened to ayla#and how badly he misjudged broud#and also because the best tool he has to protect durc without making himself broud's target and losing all his leverage to keep both durc#and uba safe#is to get in first when broud is angry and punish durc FIRST so at least it's not as bad as what broud will do#(durc will understand this when he's older but at four? nah)#so it's all a mess#vorn would like everyone to know that he DID NOT ASK to care about what happens to his wife's weird adopted nephew#me being a dork
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Still finishing this and the others up, but since AU characters are allowed on Art Fight I'm adding the Silent Ponds. Which I haven't talked much about here.
I'm @/AnxiousHare on Artfight! >:)
Brief(ish) AU summary: Amy and Rory were taken as kids by Madame Korvarian and were raised to catch/kill the Doctor with Mels/River Song. They succeed in capturing the Doctor using Amy as a "lure", but he isn't killed immediately for research purposes.
Life is very poor for the Doctor there, but he doesn't want to leave without Amy, and Amy keeps petitioning for the Doctor to be kept around due to her own attachment to him.
After Amy has and loses Melody (Korvarian brings Melody back to her past self, kick-starting the events of the AU in its own little paradox), Amy, Rory, and Mels take the Doctor and run away in the TARDIS.
#rose rambles#rory williams#doctor who#doctor who au#dw au#(I did Rory first to make Curtis happy lol)#terrible things happened to them and they've done terrible things#the world keeps turning and the Doctor is /too/ forgiving by sticking around#Amy blames the Doctor for the whole situation. The Doctor blames himself. Neither of them are willing to let the other go so they stay#like this.#The Ponds grow and change and have the opportunity to better themselves as people#and become happier in their own skins#as they get further and further distance from the church#but they can't make up for what they did to the Doctor while he was there#and the Doctor won't forgive himself for never saving them. for arriving so late.#but redemption isn't a real goal#all you can do is try and live a better life#for you and the people you care about.#anyways.#the spacesuit probably(?) doesn't exist here because the focus is much less on#such a physical representation of the trauma of losing your autonomy and self#and more on the emotional and mental consequences#of a (comparatively) less fantastical version of the horrors they went though#They were just kids.#tw guns#ask to tag
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The anon who sent me 13 messages about how annoying it is that nearly all my Strangerville characters are some variation of queer is not gonna be happy when they find out that like half of my featured Chestnut Ridge characters in Lea's gameplay are also some variation of queer.
Oopsie 🤷♀️
#listen I'm just going to keep writing the kind of queer representation I need/wanted/sought out as a child#It is what it is#And I know I never responded to them publicly because honestly it was a lot#But also it was pretty ridiculous and highkey pathetic full offense to sender#So if you see this 13 message anon - you know who you are - and more gays are a comin. Be warned#Also I meant to type 'needed' not 'need' in that first tag. Can't edit it on mobile though and I'm not retyping all that lol#personal#just shitposting
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