#keep thinkin about some of the stuff he used to do n say even though it's been such a long time

[kindacreepy-kindaugly]

feelin kinda guilty for bein scared

[1427]

When the Levee Breaks (pt. 4)

Daryl Dixon x OFC

The one in which a stripper that used to know Merle and Daryl shows up at the Atlanta camp. Daryl’s feelings are complicated but mostly he hates her, right?

Chapt. Setting: Highway outside of Atlanta. 

Chapt. Warnings: degrading and sexist language, degrading behavior, season 2 Daryl, smut, oral (m receiving)(kind of) weird. Just weirdo perv (out of desperation) Daryl. 

Word Count: 3200

A/N; Daryl’s POV 😩🤷‍♀️ 17+ mdni

masterlist

Been keepin’ Merle’s stuff pretty well hidden. Guess I should probably just get rid of it, right? But I can’t. S’not mine to get rid of. So I just hide it. Separate bag from the rest of his meds, all the way at the bottom of a backpack, stuffed under the seat of my truck. 

Beatle says she’s been sober off spazz shit for three years. Pretty sure three years ago s’when I met her though, so I’unno how she figures that. 

But now we’re ditchin’ the truck and I gotta find a way to carry it without Beatle finding it. Don’t even have time to be upset about my truck. Had it for at least the last ten years. Loved this thing like it was the only thing I had. Basically was for a while. 

Takin’ Merles bike. It’s got some dumbass Nazi shit on it, but ‘m not complainin’. That shit don’t matter anymore. Neither does bein’ upset over a truck that’s not gonna do me any good without gas. 

Pack myself two bags. One goes with Beatle in Dale’s RV, the other is the pack I’d had stuffed under the seat. Spazz gets hidden underneath a few shirts, smokes, the couple sips left of girlwhiskey, and the rest of Merle’s scripts. Stuff I don’t trust Beatle with.  

I think she knows, too. She doesn’t say it but she gives me a look when I tell her ‘m holdin’ onto it. I offer her a whole cigarette. All for herself. And it shuts her up enough not to push it. 

Don’t know if I like when she’s happy or not. Kinda makes me feel sick so I try not to think about it. Dunno. Whatever. Don’t got time to think about that shit anyway. S’always somethin’. 

Don’t really even got the time to think about what a shit show the CDC was. Just gotta keep movin’. Guess the plan is Fort Bennet? Don’t know. Don’t care. ‘m just goin’. 

It’s nice to be back on a bike again. Can’t feel nothin’ but the vibrating underneath me and the air in my face. Can’t hear nothin’ but the engine. By myself. Like all this shit hasn’t happened…

No use in thinkin’ ‘bout it that way, though. Has happened. And I ain’t gonna be one of those sorry sacks that wants to pretend shit ain’t the way it is. That’s one thing I like Beatle for. She don’t pretend shits gonna go back. Don’t miss nothin’, ain’t lookin’ for no one. Far as I see it, she’s happy mostly. Guess it’s easy when someone’s takin’ care of everything for ya. Me. Giving her my smokes and buildin’ fires for my damn self, thinkin’ everything tha’s mine is hers. It ain’t. 

Other people makin’ plans. Other people findin’ shelter. Other peoples food. 

Too many people in this group ain’t pullin’ their own weight. It’s gonna catch up sooner or later. Beatle’s a weak player. Can’t decide if I should help her out or not. Can’t decide if I should protect her or not. Cuz she don’t want it, she don’t think she needs it. But she’s gonna need it. Sooner or later. 

Cuz I know I hate her and all that. Dumb fuckin’ bitch for sure. But after what happened at the CDC? Thought we were gonna die. Thought she was gonna die. Fuck. I’unno. Guess I felt somethin’. 

I’m in between knowin’ it and hatin’ it. It can be both right? Cuz it’s definitely both. One more thing I gotta care about. Real fuckin’ stupid. 

We’re only on the road a few hours before shit blows. Literally. Dales radiator. Good ‘n done. Then more bullshit happens but ain’t that the way shit is now?

A whole herd of ‘em come through and everyone’s fine. Andrea’s havin’ a panic attack ‘bout the geek that almost ate ‘er, Carol’s kid run off into the woods, and T-Dog’s all but bled out. But to me? Basically fine. No one’s dead or nothin’. 

Don’t know where Beatle was when the herd came. But she’s fine too, and any worryin’ I’d been doin was a waste of fuckin’ time. Not gonna waste any more of it bein’ mad I was worried in the first place. That I couldn’t think ‘bout anything else. Just images of her stupid happy face gettin’ ripped apart. Guess I care now. At least ‘bout her not bein’ dead. ‘Bout her bein’ here.

She’s standin’ outside the RV with me, sharing a cigarette cuz I don’t know how else to tell her I’m glad she’s alive. Can’t stop lookin’ at her. She’s either ignoring my staring or pretendin’ I ain’t doin’ it, and ‘m grateful. Don’t wanna talk ‘bout that shit. Just wanna look at her, and fix all those images in my head. Her face still happy and perfect and smilin’ at me like it wasn’t bein’ eaten by monsters a few minutes ago. 

I feel sick. Somethin’… different. 

“Can I just hug you, please?” She asks like she’s been waitin’ to say it. 

“Why?” I squint at her, dragging the smoke. Kinda want to - kinda mad she asked instead of just doin’ it, “Since when do you ask permi-“ I’m cut off by her body wrapped around mine. All four limbs holdin’ on like I’m keepin’ her anchored to the world. 

I hug her back, arms pulled tight around her. Why am I doing this? What the fuck is this? Goin’ fuckin’ soft for some dumb little girl. I can hear Merle laughin’ at me from inside my head, and I drop Beatle back down to the pavement. 

“I’m glad you’re alive.” She says, and I look down at her. Now she’s all covered in the gross shit I’m covered in. She doesn’t seem to care. Doesn’t even seem to notice. 

“Yeah?” I say at her, cuz I don’t know what else to say. Can’t tell her Im glad she’s alive. Can’t give her that. I hugged her back, that’s enough. She should know. 

She nods, smiling that stupid fuckin’ smile that I’m startin’ to like. ‘Fore her face starts wrinklin’ up somethin’ nasty. There it is. She looks at me, then down at herself. “What the fuck, Daryl?” 

Me?! “‘Pleeeease can I hug you, Daryl?’” I mock her. 

“I was worried!! And then you’re alive and okay and I  didn’t have time to look at you covered in guts and shit!” She squeals. I swear she knows it irritates me. I can see her goin’ to punch me in the arm so I let her, then pull her into another hug. 

Grabbin’ at her head to bring it close to my chest, covered in week old decaying monster meat, “C’mon, Beatle. Gimme a hug!” She’s tryin’ to fight it but ‘m stronger. 

She bends her knees and slips down and out of my arms. The blood on my hands making her too slippery to hold onto. She starts runnin’. I run after her til we get to the side of the road and she tries to hide underneath the trunk of a car crashed into the rail. 

Maybe this ain’t the time for fuckin’ around, but it don’t matter. Not when I finally got her cornered. The look of fear in her eyes does somethin’ to me. Not real fear.  Naw, cuz she’s smilin’. Cuz she’s laughin’. Just excited that we’re both still breathing. Still, smile on her face and laugh in her throat, she’s cowering beneath a cars trunk, beggin’ me to stop. The beggin’s doin’ somethin’ to me too. Fuck. 

I pick her up, slingin’ her over my shoulder, she yelps. Don’t she know how this shit works yet? “Fuckin’ quiet, Beatle. Dumb bitch.” I slap her ass once and she fuckin’ yelps again. “Wha’ did I just say?” And I slap her ass again. This time she’s quiet. 

Shit, that worked? Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. My dicks hard. 

I’unno if it’s cuz I never carried a girl over my shoulder like this, cuz I spanked her couple times, or cuz she listened. My dick gets even harder and I realize it’s definitely fuckin’ all of it. But mostly that she listened when I told her what to do. Maybe I should tell her what to do more often. Fuck. ‘m not helpin’ myself, or my problem, at all. 

I dip my head down to smell the sick I’m covered in to make it go away. It works. Even with her ass next to my face. So close I could bite it. For fucks sake. I put her down but she doesn’t run away this time. We walk slowly back to the group. Not sayin’ nothin’. Me, cuz I’m trying to focus on the smell of rotten flesh and definitely not Beatle beggin’ me to stop. Definitely not about what her face looked like when she felt my hand on her ass.  

Wonder if she’s quiet cuz she’s thinkin’ about it too.

 Wondering what she’s thinkin’ about and tryin’ to will away a stiffy. Fuck this fuckin’ high school bullshit. Like she reads my mind, I feel her needy little fingers snake into my hand. For a second I think maybe I’m smokin’ a cigarette I don’t remember havin’ but ‘m not. She’s just tryin’ to hold my hand. 

At first it feels nice, and then I feel sick again. Too many questions unanswered. Too much shit that’s already happened. Can’t trust her. So I shake her hand off, “Stop.” 

“Fine. Fuck you.” She stomps away and back into the RV. I’unno what the fuck’s wrong with me that it makes me smile. Do I like when she’s happy? Shit, I dunno. If I did, wouldn’t I not like it when she’s upset? So why does her being mad at me do it for me too? 

✨🏹

Whatever. 

She comes with me to go look for Sophia. Andrea stood up like she was gonna come too, but once Beatle and I are standin’ next to the RV Andrea doesn’t follow us out.

 We don’t stray too far from the road. It’s dark, and mostly just came out here to help ease Carol’s mind. ‘m definitely goin’ soft. But I’unno. Hurts to watch people lose stuff. Their families. Hurts to watch people hurt. 

Gonna hurt Beatle in a fuckin’ second if she doesn’t shut the fuck up. We’re walkin’ through the woods. At night. She’s gotta know this shit by now. “Beatle, keep your fuckin’ voice down. Please.” Did I just say please? Fuck me. 

“Did you just say ‘please’?” Fuck. Me. 

“Shut up.” 

“Don’t think I know how.” 

“Yeah, no shit.” She laughs, and it makes me smile. And that makes me feel sick to my stomach. Again. 

Her voice cuts through while I’m makin’ myself even sicker thinkin’ about it, “You wanna play another game?”

My eyebrows raise in her direction, “Yeah, that went real well for ya last time.” 

“Nevermind.” Her face falters and she crosses her arms across her chest. 

“What, you don’t wanna get half naked and cry again?” And for fuckin’ once I wish Beatle had somethin’ to say back. Some smartass shit that isn’t even funny but she definitely means it to be. But she doesn’t. She doesn’t say anything. She just lets my question hang in the fuckin’ air and suffocate me. Cuz now I’m thinkin’ about her half naked and crying and my fuckin dicks hard again. What is this shit? Rock hard cock every time I pick on her now? ‘m not gonna be able to do this. She’s gonna notice. Where the fuck is a guy supposed to jerk off and relieve some of this shit? 

On her fuckin’ face.

Shit.

She’s been quiet for too long and my brain won’t stop. It’s just getting worse. Images of her now, her face covered in my cum, her lips humming together making little bubbles with it, smiling. Shit. 

Beatle, say something. Anything.

“How big’s your dick?” Not. Fucking. That. 

She listens… right? She wants it, right? Why else would she ask that? Now, when it’s just the two of us out in the woods in the dark. She wants me to show her. 

So show her.

“Beatle.” My voice is low, barely there. Just a rasp of a word. 

She turns around, ready to explain herself before she even looks at me, “I-“ 

“C’mere.” If I don’t cut her off she’s gonna say she was just jokin’ but we both know she ain’t jokin’. She wants ta know. So she’s gonna know. 

Feel like I can see her blushin’ in the moonlight as she walks toward me, even though I can’t. Just know she is. Smile on her face like I ain’t about to wipe it off with my cock. Shit, hard as a fuckin’ rock right now. I rub my palm over the length of it, and I watch her eyes follow my arm down. Watch ‘em get bigger, wide and nervous, and it makes my dick twitch against my jeans. I pull out a smoke and light one, for a second I see a disappointment in her face, thinkin’ maybe I’d just called her over to share a smoke. Naw. “Down on your knees.” 

And Jesus Christ, does she kneel so fuckin’ fast. She stares straight ahead, and somethin’ comes over me. Can’t wait. Don’t want to. Don’t need to. Beatle does what I ask, at least when it comes to this. Like a good little slut would. That is what she’s good at, ain’t it? 

So maybe it’s a little fucked up that I grab her head and force her against the rough fabric of my jeans. Pushing my cock into her cheek as hard as I fuckin’ can. Holding her by the hair and rubbing her face on me. 

But this little bitch moans. At first I wasn’t sure, but she keeps fuckin’ moaning. She likes this. Somethin’ close to a laugh escapes my throat, past the cigarette between my lips. I take it with my fingers, letting one hand go from her head, the other hand pulls her back to look up at me. Her expression absolutely blown. She just looks at me for a second, before putting her face back on my cock on her own. It’s not the same amount of pressure but it still feels fuckin’ good. And somethin’ about her doin’ it on her own. Like she can’t fuckin’ help it. Like she needs it. 

She’s starts to lick at the fabric right where my head is and my dick spasms again at the sight of it. This time she can feel it underneath her mouth. She smiles up at me, smirkin’ down at her. Putting the cigarette in my mouth, I drag it, before bringing it down to her lips. A little reward for listening. 

She drags it once and I drop it on the ground. Beatle says “Thank you.” In the smallest voice I ever heard come out of her mouth. Fuck. I could fall in love with this Beatle. It’s just your dick talkin’ Dar, don’t get crazy. 

I grunt a laugh and start to unbuckle my belt. Unbutton my pants. Barely have my cock in my hand ‘fore her mouths around it. I pull her back by her hair, sharply. She winces in pain and reaches up to her head where I’m holdin’ on. Her eyes shoot up to look at me. 

God, fuck, what I wouldn’t give to have that image burned in my brain for the rest of my life. Her face, all discomfort and contempt because I won’t let her touch me. Like she’s fuckin’ dying for it. “Nah, keep your mouth shut Beatle. Gotta learn ta do what yer told.” 

She nods, and closes her lips. Looking from my eyes back down my body again. I lean back, takin’ myself in my hand and pressing my cock into her face. 

For a while I just rub myself all over, letting her feel the weight of it. Letting her know just how big it really fuckin’ is. Lifting it off her face and smackin’ her cheeks. Makin’ her flinch, her eyes squish closed but I press my hard cock against her eye and push up forcing her eyelid open. Fuck. I do the same thing with her lips. Smushing and rubbing the head of it into her lips to open them, I fuck against her mouth for a second. Beatles groaning and moaning but she doesn’t open her mouth. Somethin’ about it makes me need to cum. Now. No more fuckin’ around. “Open up.” 

She does. I spit into her open mouth, and she moans again, without swallowing it. Like a good slut. “Fuck, Beatle. Shit. Now stick your tongue out.” 

She does. I can see my spit falling off her tongue and I quickly catch it with my cock, before smearing as much of the slick spit from her mouth onto me. Taking myself from the base, holding hard to cut off the circulation. Always feels better when I do that. Rubbin her tongue with my cock til I can’t fuckin take it anymore. I’m about to fuckin’  cum. I pull away for only a second, my breathings all fucked and I can barely speak, “Close yer mouth.” She looks confused for a second but closes her mouth. Good. Was about to smack her. 

My left hand finds a place on the back of her head again, gripping into her hair to hold her in place. I push my hips forward and put the whole length across her face. My other hand pressing myself down into her from above her. And I fuck myself on her face. Grunting and sloppy and desperate to cum. Never done this before, shit, does anyone do this? But fuck, it’s so fuckin’ hot. Her lips and her cheeks and her eyelids and her nose all squished and being fuckin’ ruined by my cock. Shit.  Fuck. 

Right as I’m about to cum I put both hands around her head and hump her face like… I don’t even know. I feel fuckin’ insane, but she’s still moaning at the feeling of being used. Not even in a way that should be enjoyable to her. 

I don’t think I’ve ever cum that much in my whole fuckin’ life. Most of it ends up in Beatle’s hair, but there’s still a whole lot of it on her face. I mess with it for a second. Swirling my puffy post-nut dick in it before I get oversensitive. 

I put myself away, and sit down on the ground next to Beatle. Still in the exact same position. I let her kneel there, don’t tell her she can move or nothin’. Guess that’s why she doesn’t. Don’t think she can open her eyes either. S’funny. 

Relighting the short I’d dropped to the ground, I pull a bandana from my pocket. “Is it big, Beatle?” I ask her while I wipe only her mouth off, and put the cigarette between her lips. 

She sucks on the filter, and smiles. “Yep.”

Eventually I wipe off her eyes too. Can’t do anything about her hair though, so I promise to find her a hat from one of the cars on the walk back. 

And I don’t let myself think about what this might mean. Who cares? I don’t. Don’t think Beatle does neither. We’re just goin’. 

pt 5

A/N: Yeah okay,  I know. Daryl’s all back and forth. Does he not give a shit about Merle and Beatle? Does he know deep down they never did anything together? Or maybe he just wasn’t thinking about it at the time? He’s confused, guys. He also really doesn’t have all the information (Eventually he’s gonna ask but first we have to deal with Sophia. Sorry. I don’t want to either.)

[dabisbratz]

first of all the nerd!eren series is so good i can’t it’s just > <

i love the smutty aspects but now i’m curious about the fluffy aspects too. like i know he has a lot of… naughty… things on his mind but-

will rennie ask us out? or go on cute dates? is there romance behind all of his bold getures? i can’t help but think about how the relationship will develop during the story hehe

EEEE VBEEN DYIN T’TALK BOUT THIS AU!!

rennie has alwaysalways had a crush on you !! before even goin to marley university ( hehe ), since a lot of the ppl who go there are from the same small, gated town !! (the university’s in the city though of course !!) would say yguys were close as kids but grew apart young even though ywere neighbors!! jus led veryvery different lives!! n ywanted tbe known as an athlete, not a loser :c so ykinda jus repressed all that n built yourself back up.

n e ways, before ren started even thinkin. bout sex n stuff. he was a huge romance manga fan!! n while he still is, he doesn’t have it displayed very clearly in his room. .n tho he’s not a virgin, he’s only ever really had your eyes set on you !! so s’not like he went out of his way tlose his virginity, jus kinda happened, n the whole time he really only thought of you.

he experimented a lot with his feelins too ( thank u armin n mikasa ), n he realized what he felt fyou was a lot bigger than a crush, or admiration, or friendship !! cuz it jus.. never went away. even after enterin college. especially when he’d see you in class or around the hall or jus hear your name.. sometimes he’d go to your games tsee you, n he’d roll some dice tsee f’ you’d win (cutiepie!!)

his weird. . . horny behavior s’def his way of flirtin!! every hentai he’s ever shown you ends supersuper sweet, like the mcs gettin married/havin kids n somehow he Thinks. yget that that’s his romantic gesture but ydont even read manga, so how would yknow?? he’s a lil dummy . s’also why his aftercare is so slow n thorough (as it should be !!) , he jus wants tlook at you n keep you close f’as long as he can :c

n he has a lot more confidence when he’s angry or shovin your head down on his cock ໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -｡꒱ྀི১ so whether you’re fightin or fuckin, his confession sjus.. horrible timin !! a grunt of ‘you’re so pretty. i love you. iloveyouiloveyou—’

buuut hed act like he never said it :c he’s scared of bein rejected, gettin t’talk t’you n touch you again ‘s already a dream come true t’him!! n fyou were tsay ywere jus friends he’d get so upset. so upset!! eyes waterin n lip wobblin n angry. ‘wanna say that again? friends don’t fuck like we do’ he’s so dramatic !! but he knows he puts his love into it :cc n you do too

s’def a “he fell first but you fell harder” thing !! reader’s still wrappin his head around his sexuality, his relationship with eren?? his borderline commitment issues? his reputation? n his bad grades !! at first rennie’s this sudden n crazy breather from it all. like stress relief!! until he jus keeps poppin up— in person, in his head, in his music n interests n conversations!! n he realizes he’s never felt more loved than when eren’s jus lookin at him.

thaaat bein said!!! they would go on dates!! once s’all figured out, they’d turn everyday stuff into dates !! eatin together in the foodcourt, goin off campus durin holidays, study dates, goin out for dinner after yhave a game!!

[hurrakka]

oh man. theoretically in a l4d au luis would've helped develop the green flu yeah? sure it's a naturally occurring virus in l4d canon (maybe. we're not really sure where it comes from cus ceda doesnt say shit but ellis mentions the government using bio-bombs in one of his keith stories so it could be a bioweapon?) but this is an au we can do what we want.

anygays im just imagining leon getting infected. we know better-safe-than-sorry-guy (i call him scout cus his va is the same as scout from tf2) is human when we first find him but experiencing extreme paranoia and some compulsions then a few minutes later he fully turns, going from able to speak and function to choking and growling and fully mutated (either into a hunter, boomer, or smoker) so there's always the possibility of a rapid transformation too. im thinking leon falling behind a bit while theyre walking because he's coughing and chokin and shit n he falls to his knees and luis is all like "bro whats wrong!!" and he gets to watch as leon Turns Before His Eyes. even better if he turns into a hunter cus if you look closely at their models they don't have eyes. we can't be exactly sure what Happens to their eyes when they turn but the two most popular headcanons are both equally brutal-- either Luis has to watch Leon's eyes quite literally melt out of his skull or he gets to watch him claw his own eyes out. Fun!

BUT there's graffiti in one of the safe rooms arguing over how long it actually takes to turn-- whether it's 20 minutes, 2 hours, overnight, or some other wacky chunk of time. so there's also the thought of Leon turning slowly. progressively becoming irritable and irrational and confused and him slipping in and out of conciousness for days until Luis goes to check his temp one day and he fucking Lunges.

and if leon turns and luis makes it out alive imagine the Guilt. he feels awful enough in re4 canon when there's a cure,,, but the green flu mutates too often to develop a proper cure for it. if leon gets infected and he isnt immune then he's just. done. theres nothing that can help him at that point. and luis already feels so goddamn guilty about the millions of people he's killed and now leon's gone too and he cant help but visualize every single person who had somebody ripped from them by his hands.

oh man and if luis has to put leon down? its joever. that man would Never recover. i dont even know if he'd keep trying to survive at that point. maybe just for that shred of hope of developing a cure (even though he knows it'd be damn-near impossible but it's the only thing hes got, dammit) and stopping this whole disaster.

coughs. sorry for the rambling i simply have been obsessed with l4d for going on 12 years now so <3

I had to lay down for a moment bc of the feels and potential outcomes in the event luis lives on while leon well...yeah (thinkin abt how buddy from re damnation would jus turn as well since leon is no longer there and that made me big sad dgkrnekhbfgnjklh) Since the re verse has like morbillion viruses, the green flu existing would be plausible so its just another stonks moment for umbrella lol. But yeah luis would absolutely be devastated. He probably doesnt have the guts to pull the trigger, least he can do is to restrain leon for a while and tries to find whatever humanity he has left in his nonexistent eyes. Tho in my witch!leon hc I think luis may have a chance to keep leon around??? Since witches seem to have the most humanity among the infected (and thats not saying much) he could probs observe him a lil bit without getting eaten right away. It would just be a warm bodies scenario ngl (i just watched that movie recently so this is huge copium dksfghbshgndfh) Honestly Im glad l4d fandom still alive after all these years. That game will always be goated and it was one of my high-school obsessions. I used to do crossover stuff back then and Im back to doing it now. Time rly do be a flat circle

[dialovers-translations]

DIABOLIK LOVERS GRAND EDITION Gentei Tokuten Drama CD ”The Test Wars: Winter Break On the Line!”

Original title: 冬休みをかけたテスト戦争

Source: Diabolik Lovers GRAND EDITION Gentei Tokuten Drama CD

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Toriumi Kousuke, Katsuyuki Konishi, Midorikawa Hikaru, Kaji Yuki, Hirakawa Daisuke, Takashi Kondou, Takahiro Sakurai, Kimura Ryouhei, Tatsuhisa Suzuki, Kishio Daisuke

Translator’s note: This CD was honestly a little...disappointing? It felt like very little was accomplished in the end and none of the guys really got to shine. Even though it’s about the exams, we don’t get to see (or hear) any of them study at all. I guess it’s because they already did a CD very similar to this one, so I suppose they didn’t want to repeat that. I honestly would have much rather seen a CD about the Sakamaki & Mukami family going skiing together over the winter break. That could be a wild ride. :p

→  LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

Ayato: …Oi! Whatcha bein’ so restless for? God, I can’t believe you’re gettin’ all excited over Winter Break. How old are you, five? 

Anyway, as my possession, you’re bein’ quite cheeky, thinkin’ ‘bout how you’ll spend the break and all. You just need to spend time with me, end of the story.

You ask him how he will spend his break. 

Ayato: …Shut up, Chichinashi! That’s none of your business, is it? Why do I have to tell you? It’s already bad enough that I have to go to school period, so no way in hell I’m also adjustin’ to some stupid rules made up by a bunch of humans.

You ask if he would rather not have a winter break at all then.  

Ayato: Haah…? I never said I don’t want a break, did I? Honestly, a break sounds great just ‘bout now. Studyin’ is just a big pain in the ass after all. 

Reiji: Haah…I was wondering what the two of you could be talking about over here, but you’re already discussing your winter break plans? 

Laito: I think you might be getting a bit ahead of yourself there, Ayato-kun. 

Kanato: Agreed. Besides, she is mine, so I’d highly appreciate it if you would stop talking as if she belongs to you. 

Ayato: Haah!? Who are you callin’ yours…!? 

Laito: Nfu~ Kanato-kun’s casually trying to claim her, but Bitch-chan belongs to me, remember? 

Subaru: Haah!? Cut the crap! I can’t believe you’re just lettin’ these guys say all of this stuff…Why don’t you talk back a lil’ too, huh!? 

 You frown. 

Shuu: Pwaah…Nn…Shut up…You guys woke me up. You really are a nuisance. 

Reiji: I believe you are the biggest nuisance of us all for sleeping in such a place. Although right now, I have to give Ayato a reality check first. 

Ayato: Haah!? What do you mean, reality? Honestly, you always talk like you’re the shit.

Reiji: Good grief…Sorry to break it to you Ayato, but I am afraid you simply do not learn. 

Ayato: …What’s your problem, you fuckin’ Four-Eyes!? Dare say that one more time!

Reiji: I do not mind repeating myself as many times as needed if that is what you wish. 

Ayato: Che…!

Reiji: Since you appear to be completely ignorant of your current predicament, allow me to take this opportunity to make it clear to you. While you are free to get excited about the break, please do not forget that there will be exams right before. 

*Poing* 

Ayato: …!? E-Exams...you say!? 

Laito: Aha! Geez, Ayato-kun! Seems like it completely slipped his mind!

Subaru: How do you even forget about that…? You’re a sophomore, aren’t you!? 

Kanato: I’m sure he’s the type of guy who conveniently forgets everything he doesn’t want to remember. 

Ayato: …Fuck off! Get off your high horse already! I only forgot ‘bout those stupid tests because I didn’t deem them worthy to remember!

Kanato: You plan to ignore Father’s orders? I doubt you will get away with that. …Aah, but, I suppose that could be interesting as well. Right, Teddy? 

Ayato: N-No way! I never said, did I!? 

Reiji: Ayato. Your homeroom teacher called me in to talk earlier. Your grades are far too terrible, if you keep this up, you will surely have to repeat the year.

Ayato: Repeat the year…!? Oi, are you bein’ serious!? 

Reiji: Why would I lie about it? For one, you sleep through most of your classes. So how would you expect your grades to be stellar when you never study at home either? 

Ayato: Keh…

Shuu: Tests are just a big pain in the ass. I honestly don’t understand the people who get all serious about them. 

Reiji: Shuu. This warning applies to you as well. After all, who is the guy who already had to repeat his year once because he could not be bothered to do anything? 

Shuu: Oh yeah, I guess that happened. Well, I definitely don’t want a repeat of the North Pole fiasco, so I actually anticipated and did the bare minimum this year. 

Reiji: …

Laito: Reiji. Too much anger is not good for your health. Shuu has always been like this, so why get upset over it now? 

Reiji: …Either way, to ensure that no other member of this family gets held back a year, I shall personally tutor you so Ayato, please bear that in mind. 

Ayato: Haah…!? 

Reiji: By the way, you do not have the right to refuse. If the results of your tests are not up to par, then you will devote your entire winter break to your studies. 

Ayato: Reiji, you bastard…Don’t be decidin’ this for me! …Also Chichinashi, what’s up with that look? Don’t tell me you’re pityin’ me!? 

Laito: Bitch-chan is so kind~ Those bad grades are something he brought upon himself, so no need to pay mind to it. More importantly…How would you like to spend our winter break? How about we both retreat to my room for some ‘naughty fun’...~? 

Subaru: Don’t make me gag! I don’t see how anythin’ good could come from lettin’ you have her during the break. 

Laito: Oh? Would you perhaps like to join in as well, Subaru-kun~? I don’t mind. I guess the three of us can all have a good time together then!

Subaru: Did you listen to one word of what I said!? Fuck…I never alluded to that, did I!? ーー O-Oi! Whatcha touchin’ her for!? 

Laito: …Mm~ Bitch-chan’s hair smells so wonderful. This fair skin of yours as well…Even just looking at it makes me weak in the knees…I guess it’s because your blood is just so sweet and delicious? 

Shuu: Oi, Laito. Can’t you shut up for even one second? It gets even worse when you’re around her so back off. 

Laito: Eeh~? No way. If anything, I want to cuddle even closer to her. Nfu~ I wouldn’t mind having a little sip of her blood eiーー 

Shuu pulls you away from Laito. 

*Rustle* 

Shuu: Enough with the bullshit. …And what is your deal, huh? At least fight back a little more. By reacting like that, you’re basically asking him to suck your blood. 

Laito: Excuse me, Shuu? Could you not pull her away out of nowhere? She seems to be in pain. 

Shuu: …It’s your fault for trying to suck her blood.

Laito: Eh? You’re putting the blame on me!? How cruel!

You frown.

Shuu: You always seem to be having such a good time when I suck your blood, so can’t you let this one slide?

Kanato: Please just let go of her hand already. It’s highly upsetting. …What is the problem with you guys? Are you trying to show off on purpose? 

Shuu: Not really…That’s not my intention. 

Kanato: Honestly…You’re not in the clear either. You always let everyone do with you as they please…Are you testing my patience, perhaps? While I do like submissive dolls, it isn’t exactly enjoyable to witness other men have their way with you right in front of my eyes. You don’t seem to realize that you belong to me. You are my plaything. Therefore, all you need to do is do as I please. If you fail to comprehend that…Perhaps I should just make it so you cannot move at all? 

Subaru: …Ugh. 

*THUD*

Subaru: Cut the crap! …Oi, you! Come here already!

Subaru pulls you his way. 

*Rustle* 

Kanato: …!? What do you think you’re doing, Subaru!?

You thank him.  

Subaru: Ah? …No need to thank me. Honestly, these guys just keep on spoutin’ bullcrap…It pisses me off!

*THUD* 

Reiji: Please leave it at that! We have gotten quite a bit off-topic…but the matter we need to discuss right now is Ayato’s grades problem. 

Ayato: Who cares ‘bout that crap!? 

Reiji: Stop being so stubborn, Ayato. If you fail these upcoming exams as well, you will no longer get any pocket money!

Ayato: …Hah!? Fuck that!

Laito: Ayato-kun, I think you might regret going against what Reiji says~ Or else it won’t just be during the winter break, but you might never get any money again.

Subaru: Heh! Serves you right!

Ayato: That’s fuckin’ dirty, Reiji!

Reiji: Call it whatever you please. Besides, as a noble Vampire, you should be ashamed of yourself for getting worse grades than mere humans! 

Ayato: Fuck…Guess I have no other choice. Just this one time, ‘kay!? Still, you really think I’m gonna study all by myself? Chichinashi and all of these fuckers will suffer with me as well!

Subaru: Haah!? Why do we have to keep you company!? 

Kanato: Exactly. You’re the one who’s at risk of having to repeat his year, correct? This doesn’t apply to us!

Shuu: I’m definitely not tagging along.

Laito: Hm~ Personally, I wouldn’t mind joining in if Bitch-chan is there as well~

Reiji: How ridiculous…Are you perhaps hoping that I will be more lenient with more people around? I believe it is time to you stop struggling in vain and just honestーー 

Kou: M-neko-chan~!

Reiji: You guys…

Kou: Hey, hey! It’s almost winter break, right? The four of us are planning a ski trip so why don’t you join us? 

Ayato: Aah!? Are you out of your fuckin’ mind!? She’ll be hangin’ with me during the break!

Kou: Eh!? You don’t have any time to play, do you? Don’t you have to study? I’m pretty sure that you’ll be stuck studying the whole break if you get bad grades on the upcoming exams so you won’t be able to hang out, will you? 

Ayato: Kuh…

Reiji: Eavesdropping, I see. What a nice hobby you have there.

Laito: Hm~ The whole Mukami family is here, it seems. 

Kou: Man, you really must have it rough having to keep up with the selfish whims of the Sakamaki family. …Hey, don’t you think so too, Subaru-kun? 

Subaru: Shut up!! I mean, I’m part of that family too, aren’t I!? I bet you’re askin’ me on purpose!

Kou: Geez, how cold. If you keep on making that scary face, you won’t get any love from M-neko-chan~

Subaru: …!! You bastard…!!

Yuma: Oi, Sow. Yer grades aren’t half bad, are they? Then why don’t you join us before Ayato gets ya involved in his mess? 

Azusa: Hey, Eve…Let’s hang out together…I’m sure skiing will be fun…Ah, but I guess it might not be with me around…Although in my case, I enjoy any time as long as we spend it together…

You assure Azusa that you enjoy his company too. 

Azusa: Ah…I’m happy…You really are so kind…

Kanato: Kuh…Why are you guys here? 

Azusa: Why…? We just so happened to pass by…That’s all…

Kanato: Please don’t tell such blatant lies! I bet you secretly followed us, didn’t you!? That’s so creepy, it’s making me gag!

Yuma: Oi…! Stop throwin’ a hissy fit over every fuckin’ lil’ thing! 

Kanato: How about I sew that loud mouth of yours closed instead!? 

Yuma: Aah!? The fuck did ya just say!? Ya wanna throw fists, mate!? 

Ruki: Cut it out. What’s the point in lowering yourself to their level? There is no need for us to give those guys any attention, is there? 

Ayato: Ahー God! Shut up already, all of you! We stay quiet for two seconds and you instantly assume you can just run your damn mouths! All I need to do is pass my exams, right!? 

Ruki: I honestly cannot imagine that happening to the guy whose grades have been rock bottom the whole semester. 

Ayato: Kuh…Oi, Ruki! Don’t think you’re the shit just ‘cause you’ve got good grades! I can pass those exams with ease as long as I put in just a little effort. 

Kou: A little, you say? That’s an interesting claim, Ayato-kun. Ruki-kun is pretty smart, you see? 

Ayato: Shut up! Keep that mouth of yours shut!

Ruki: Then, how about our families having a competition to see who can get the best average score? The winning family earns the right to keep her all to themselves over winter break. 

Ayato: Heh, interesting. You’re on!

Subaru: Don’t be decidin’ that on your own! I’m not doin’ this shit!

Yuma: Hah! Is Mr. Hikikomori scared of losin’, huh? 

Subaru: You bastard…Are you pickin’ a fight with me? 

Azusa: …Can we win? …Right. We might be able to…if Eve cheers us on. 

Kanato: Please do not voice your ridiculous fantasies out loud. It’s unsettling. 

Shuu: I don’t want to deal with any trouble. 

Laito: I like the idea of all of us fighting over Bitch-chan like that! It kind of sounds like the plot of some cheap romantic drama, it’s giving me the shivers! 

Reiji: Good grief…Things have become quite bothersome because of you. However, we cannot back down now. Very well. We accept this challenge!

Ruki: It’s settled then. I hope you will not have any regrets, whatever the outcome may be.

*TIMESKIP*

*Thud* 

Ayato: So this is where you’ve been Chichinashi! Don’t make me look for you!

Reiji: One would almost assume that you are avoiding us on purpose. Do you understand that you are not entitled to do so, I wonder? 

You try to explain yourself.

Reiji: You do not wish to get in the way of our studies? How imprudent of you. Seeing as you are part of the reason why this challenge was set up in the first place, do you not believe it would only be logical to help us out? If you fail to realize your own position, then I believe I will have to make things extra painful for you today. Please brace yourself. 

Laito: You heard him, Bitch-chan~ Reiji can be quite scary, can’t he? Personally, I would ensure that you experience the ultimate pleasure alongside the pain, so what do you think? 

Reiji: There is nothing to think about. She does not have the right to choose after all. You will come to my room once we’ve returned home, do you understand?

Laito: Eeh~? Then once you’re done with her, can it be my turn next? I’ll show you a world・of・fun~

Subaru: God…I thought we were goin’ to study? 

*Thud* 

Kou: Ah! M-neko-chan, found you~! Come and study with us~

Ayato: Aah!? Chichinashi’s goin’ to help me with my studies! Fuck off!

Yuma: Haah!? I bet you’re the one who decided that on your own!

Ruki walks up to you. 

Ruki: I doubt you have the time to look after other people right now, do you? You should worry about your own grades first. Come here. I’ll help you study.  

Your eyes widen in surprise.

Ruki: Don’t look so dumbfounded. Are you really that surprised by my offer to help you out? While I hate unintelligent women, I believe you have potential. 

Azusa: Lucky you…Ruki is a great tutor, you see…

Ruki: Come here already. 

You join Ruki. 

Ruki: Do you have any questions regarding the test material? 

You point something out. 

Ruki: I see. Well, you’re supposed to use this formula and…

Kou: Ah-aah~ Ruki-kun snatched her away. Look at how they’re basically huddled together. I want to cuddle up to her as well. I tried so hard to finish all of my work in time too, it’s no fair Ruki-kun gets to have all the fun…

Ruki: Kou. If you are going to talk badly about someone, at least lower your voice. How is she supposed to concentrate? 

Kou: But I mean…When do we ever get the chance to study together like this~? So even if it’s only for a short period of time, I want to spend every second of it together. You feel the same way, don’t you? 

Ruki: Come on. How long are you going to stay distracted? Stay focused. …Your cheeks are flushed. Your breathing is somewhat ragged as well. Heh. Seems like you’ve got some other things besides studying on your mind. 

Kou: Heeh~? Are you perhaps hoping to get sandwiches in between Ruki-kun and I as we both suck your blood simultaneously~? 

Ruki: It would be rather absurd if that were truly the case. While it still makes sense for us to crave your blood, for you to seek out our fangs as well…What a greedy Livestock you are. 

Kou: Ahahaha~ For real! You actually have some nerve. If my fans find out about this, they might just kill you, you know~? 

Yuma: Hey, how much longer? It’s our turn now, isn’t it? …Heave-hoh.

*Thud* 

Kou: Ah…Hey! Yuma-kun! I can’t believe you lifted her up with the chair and all…You’re such a brute.

*Rustle* 

Yuma: …There. Oi, help Azusa and I study as well. …Hah? What are you sayin’? Why bother askin’ Ruki for permission if you’re fine with it? Come on, teach us already. 

You start explaining. 

Yuma: …Oh. Hmー Hm. …Heh!? …You’re pretty good at this! I think ya could totally become a great teacher!

Azusa: But for now…She’s our own personal teacher…

Yuma: Heh. A private lesson with a female teacher, huh? Sounds pretty good. 

Azusa: In that case…I’d love to learn more about you…instead of the subject matter…Although, I suppose that’d make you feel troubled, wouldn’t it? I’m sorry for saying something inappropriate…

Shuu: If you know that you’re being inappropriate, then you won’t complain if we take her back, correct? Let’s go. 

*Rustle* 

Shuu: Why are you so easily won over by others? The triplets are throwing a tantrum because you were taken away. If you want to pretend to be a teacher that badly, then go ahead and do so close to me.

Azusa: …They left. 

Yuma: Che…That guy pisses me off with everythin’ he does!

*TIMESKIP*

Ayato: Ahー This shit makes zero sense! I find the motivation to keep goin’!

Reiji: I am teaching you in a way that even an idiot should be able to pass the exam. If you have a somewhat-functioning brain, at least try your best to remember this. 

You return with Shuu.

Laito: …Ah, Bitch-chan~! We’ve been waiting for you! Those Mukami’s didn’t pick on you too much, did they?

Ayato: Oi, Chichinashi! Teach me this part. Havin’ Reiji teach me is an absolute nightmare. 

Kanato: Excuse me? She will obviously teach me first. We already know that you will fail the exam, Ayato, so it’d just be a wasted effort. 

Laito: I’d love to have you thoroughly teach me as well~ …Okay, Bitch-chan? 

Reiji: Good grief, you lot…You want her to teach you that badly? Right. I suppose if I teach her first, then it will naturally reach you guys as well. 

Ayato: Ah? The fuck are you sayin’? 

Reiji: This is in your best interest as well, so I will not take no as an answer. In that case, I am counting on your full cooperation. 

Laito: Eeh~? We’re going to study? 

Subaru: Haah…I’m headin’ home first. 

Reiji: Hold up, Subaru. I shall not allow you to leave. 

Reiji stops him. 

Subaru: Oi, let go of me. Ayato’s the only problematic one here, right? 

Reiji: Excuse me? This concerns our whole family. Even if it is just Ayato who fails the exam, all of you will have your monthly allowance cut. 

Subaru: Aah!? Fuck off!

Kanato: Why do I have to face the consequences of Ayato being an absolute idiot!? 

Shuu: Haah…Ridiculous. 

*Rustle* 

Shuu: …!

Subaru: Oi, Shuu! Don’t you dare try and sneak out by yourself!

Reiji: Well then, let us get started. If Ayato gets a failing score, then I shall give all of you a taste of Hell. So keep that in mind. 

*Whip* 

*TIMESKIP*

*Flip* 

Ruki: The results are in but…

Reiji: As much as I hate to say this, it appears that our challenge has ended in a draw. 

Ayato: Hehe! How’s that? Pretty amazing, huh? I skillfully dodged failin’ my exams!

Kanato: Oh please, don’t brag about that. 

Laito: Oh well, all’s well that ends well, I suppose?

Azusa: Since we both got the same score…Does that mean Eve will have to hang out with us…as well as with the Sakamaki’s…? 

Yuma: So we can’t have her all to ourselves durin’ winter break? 

Subaru: Hah! Serves you right! Told you we wouldn’t let you fuckers have her!

Yuma: Shut up! Ya guys can’t keep her all to yerselves either!

Shuu: Oh well, I suppose we’ll have no other choice but to accept these results. 

You suggest you all hang out together. 

Shuu: …Hah? 

Reiji: …All of us together, you say? You mean both of our families…? 

Ayato: No fuckin’ way! I don’t want to spend time with them!

Subaru: Che…Ridiculous. I’m not gonna pretend to be pals with these bastards. 

Kanato: It’s unpleasant but I suppose we have no other choice. Those who have a problem with it can simply spend the break by themselves. 

Ayato & Subaru: Fuck off!

Subaru: Who says I have a problem with it!? 

Ayato: I never said I’d spend the break alone, did I!? 

Laito: You won’t gain anything from that kind of attitude. Just try and make the best of it~

Kou: Yeah, exactly~! Let’s all have a blast together! Right, M-neko-chan? 

Azusa: Mmh…I’m also looking forward…to spending winter break together, Eve…Say, what should we do…aside from skiing? 

Yuma: There’s still some time until the end-of-term ceremony, so we’ve got plenty of time to brainstorm. 

Ruki: Right. Why don’t you come over to our place so we can set up a plan? 

Kou: Nice idea, Ruki-kun!

Azusa: Well then, with that settled…Let’s not waste any more time. Eve…Let’s go. 

Subaru: Hold up! Don’t be tryin’ to abuse the situation to take her away! Didn’t you agree to spending the break all together just earlier!? 

Yuma: Hah! Says the guy who didn’t seem to like the sound of that at all!

Azusa: Mmh…Yuma’s right. 

Subaru: Shut up!! Besides, why do you guys get to decide everythin’!? 

Ruki: The more people, the more difficult it becomes to come to an agreement. Rest assured, once we’ve settled on a plan, we shall inform you guys as well. I cannot deny that the challenge ended in a draw after all. However, winter break has not yet started. 

Kanato: Exactly. Do you really think that twisted logic of yours will fly? 

Yuma: What do ya mean, twisted logic!? He’s makin’ perfect sense!

Azusa: Exactly…I don’t believe Ruki is wrong…

Kanato: Are you an idiot, Azusa!? I’m trying to say that I can’t give you guys permission to take her to your house. 

Subaru: No way we can trust some kind of shady plan you fuckers came up with. …Come on, you too! You don’t need to feel obligated to go with those guys. For today, just come back home with us, ‘kay? 

Ruki: Do not make a fuss simply because things have not gone your way. It is painful to watch. 

Subaru: Kuh…Ruki…You bastard! Meet me outside so we can fight it out!

Ayato: Cut it out, you shitheads! It was always the plan for her to spend the winter break with me!

The Sakamaki’s and Mukami’s start arguing in the back. 

Reiji: Well, I do find it frustrating that we were not able to put those Mukami’s in their place, I suppose I can hardly complain seeing as Ayato did manage to pass his exams. …That being said, I am already getting a headache just from knowing that I will be the one having to constantly stop them from arguing. Good grief…Haah…

ーー THE END ーー

[oh-katsuki]

thinkin’ about big brother bakugou coming home drunk to fuck his pretty little stepsister 

tw: stepcest, dub/noncon, drug use, breeding, finger choking, creampie, aged-up characters

MINORS DNI

step brother bakugou who loves his new little sister so much. she’s only a few years younger than him, college age and quirkless, living in the family home with him as he tries to get his start as a pro-hero. with his flashy quirk, its not hard to quickly move through the ranks, but he finds each day testing his patience a little more. 

he finds himself disappointed when he doesn’t get home in time for dinner or before you head to bed. bakugou hates missing out on seeing you shuffle down the hall in those hot pink panties and oversize top. you think he doesn’t notice when you do it, too lazy to toss on pajama bottoms as you go to use the bathroom or brush your teeth, but he does. bakugou always sees you through the crack in his door, body leaning gently against the frame so as to not disturb it. 

it became somewhat of a sinful nightly routine, watching you in the bathroom through the crack, palming himself through his shorts as you lean over the vanity to apply some skin cream he didn’t give a fuck about. until his hours got longer and suddenly he only saw you on weekends.

it wasn’t all bad though, because now his pretty little sister wanted to spend her saturdays with him on the couch, which means katsuki gets to watch you slut around the house in those tiny sleep shorts. he wanted you so bad that it hurt, gut twisting, constantly needing to adjust himself in his pants because everything you did got him riled up. what’s worse is that once he got to know you better, he found that you were quite a doting sister, hanging off his arm and asking to sit in his lap. 

fuck, you drove him crazy with want. it was ridiculous how whipped he was  at the prospect of getting a taste of the pretty cunt between your legs. he’d do anything if it meant he got to fuck you stupid, do anything if it meant he’d get to keep those boys you call friends the fuck away from you. katsuki swears that if you weren’t his little sister, if it weren’t so taboo, that he’d have you under him every fucking day. 

sure, he felt guilty about it, but in the end he chalked it up to human nature. katsuki couldn’t even try denying his attraction to you because he thinks that anyone who isn’t is a fucking idiot. god, he’d have to be brain dead to not want to stink his cock between your thighs and fuck you silly. and he wasn’t the only one who felt that way. 

you thought your new big brother was... needlessly attractive. he made your tummy twist into knots each time he got close, each time you got a whiff of the unique smell his quirk gave off after a day of hero work. so foreboding and with such a presence, not to mention that he was huge and looked at you like he was ready to devour you. and fuck, that uniform. just the thought of it had you creaming yourself nightly to the thought of him, fingers prodding at your puffy clit until it was sore. 

so it was safe to say that by the time he paid the price of fame and his hours got upped again, the tension between you two was insurmountable and katsuki was at his wits end. he was hanging on by a thread, fucking his fist to the thought of you asleep in bed down the hall, what you might look like crying beneath him while he stuffs you full of his thick cock. 

it was filthy, the way his mind ran wild each night, so wild that he swore he could hear you purring and keening in your room at night, whining his name. maybe you did the same, he thought, hand slipping beneath his waistband. maybe you fucked yourself on those little fingers of yours, whining because they could never fill you up like your big brother can. 

however, all of that wanting came to an end after a particularly long night of drinking. 

katsuki didn’t drink often unless it was the occasional beer before dinner, but tonight he was invited out with some colleagues and decided fuck it. he’d spent so many of the previous evenings frustrated out of his mind, spilling over his chest and fucking himself out to the thought of you. he knows that as soon as he walks into the house, he’d be filled with that same frustration. so he stays out, accompanying red riot and deku for drinks. 

saying he got carried away was an understatement, even to the point that kirishima was giggling through a drunken haze at just how loose katsuki had gotten. by the time he left the bar, his head was so fuzzy with alcohol that he couldn’t see straight, parting from his friends with a gentle wave. 

n then he came home to you, shutting the door to the house as silently as possible, locking it before heading up the stairs to where he knew you’d be sleeping. he was too drunk to think about what he was doing, all he knew was that he needed you, needed to feel you, fill you up. so he cracked your door open and there you were, splayed across the bed, t shirt riding up your abdomen and little panties exposed to the cold air of the room which grew thick in an instant. 

katsuki could see the wet spot on you as he locked the door and padded into the room, no doubt leftover from the way you’d desperately humped your fingers to the thought of him earlier in the night. he leaned over you, hands kneading the flesh of your thighs as he called your name to rouse you from sleep. 

“katsu...?” you mumbled, squinting in the dark to see his figure hovering over you. “w-what’s wrong?”

fuck, you sounded so innocent, so fucking tempting with that little upward lilt in your voice, heavy with sleep.

“want you... so fuckin’ bad.” he slurred his words slightly, dragging his hand up the inside of your thigh before resting over your crotch. 

“katsu, no... we shouldn’t.” you said in a hushed whisper, eyes widening as they darted to the bolted door. “my dad is down the hall... it’s wrong.” 

“but do you want me?” he asked, insisting, crimson eyes staring past you and scanning over your body. his fingers pressed against your entrance through your panties, earning himself a whine muffled by closed lips. “I think ya do.” 

n you looked up at him with wide eyes, head falling back before you took your lip between your teeth and nodded slowly, a whimper falling from your lips. katsuki was on you faster than you could register, his fingers pulling your panties to the side roughly, calloused digits working against your clit and feeling just how slicked up you’d become. 

“so fuckin’ wet.” he growled into your ear, wasting no time dipping his fingers into your soaking cunt, curling upwards. 

god, you were tight. like a fucking virgin as he plunged his fingers into you, roughly spreading your thighs apart so he could get better access as he held his weight up on his other arm. 

“k-katsu... w-wait!” you squeaked out, hand grabbing his forearm as he pumped his fingers inside of you. 

it was fast, overwhelming and entirely too much. though you couldn’t deny that it was exactly the way you’d expected katsu to fuck and god, you were salivating, legs already beginning to tremble.

he couldn’t wait though, so fucking desperate for you as he finger fucks you into silence, kissing you with a rough tongue that lacks the delicate touch of the other boys you’ve kissed. katsuki just loves his little sister too much to stop before she’s creamed on his fingers. he waited far too long for this to not watch her come undone over and over again. 

“y’gonna cum? dirty fuckin’ girl, so pretty.” he babbled as he watched you, your breath picking up as climbed to your orgasm, legs shifting on the bed. he brought his thumb down to your clit, eyeing you. “c’mon, show big brother how this pussy creams.” 

n you do, like a good fuckin’ girl. you cream over his fingers with a whine while his free hand comes to soothe your hair down as he fucks you through it, fingers never leaving that spongey spot inside of you. 

“that’s a good girl,” he coos. “gonna give me another, yeah? on m’fuckin’ tongue?” 

and katsuki drops down, lifting your hips from the bed and connecting his lips to the little bud between your legs, tongue dipping to tease at your cute hole. he can feel the way your legs tremble as he holds you up to make a meal out of you, the little gasps and whines that break from your lips as he explores you with his tongue only drive him to press the pad of it to your hardened clit. 

he’s rough with it and with no regard for your previous orgasm, threatening to bring you to another as he slides his fingers back into you. 

“so wet f’me.” he practically moans into you. “tastes so fuckin’ good. could stay in front of this pretty pussy all day.” 

his eyes meet yours, watching your expression, catching your embarrassed gaze as you feel the heat rise to your cheeks. 

“this is my pussy, right?” he mumbles into you. “all fuckin’ mine now.”

n you nod, so close to spilling over the edge, so stupid on his tonuge that you can’t focus. you’ll say anything if it means that he’ll plug you with the thick stretch of his cock. katsuki groans into you, sending vibrations through your leaking cunt and pushing you well over the edge, your hand flying over your mouth to silence yourself. 

before you can register it, he’s back over you, eyes drinking in your figure. 

“gonna have to shut you the fuck up, huh?” he growls, lining himself up with your entrance and sliding his thick digits into your mouth. “gonna have to be quiet if you want this cock.” 

you nod in obedience, taking his fingers into your mouth and letting him gag you while he spears you through, stretching you open with the fill of your step brother’s length. n katsuki finally gets to fuck his pretty little sister, fuck her stupid with her panties sloppily pushed to the side because he was too fuckin’ excited to pull them off. gets to watch her cream over his cock over and over again, until he was sure that everyone in the house knew just who was fuckin’ her so well. 

katsuki stuffs you full, fills you with him, breeds that tight little cunt of yours with a groan and a mutter of oh fuck, fuck yeah take it. take m’fuckin’ cum, dirty bitch. 

a/n: wrote this this morning because I couldn’t get it out of my head

[subwaysurf45]

Slow Sunday (bucky x reader)

Summary: Sunday’s are your days get stuff done to start the week right, Bucky ends up wanting to help and tag along. but as the tasks progress he just feels like dead weight. 

Warning: implied smut (like once) and I really can’t think of anything else, 

Words: 3k

Masterlist!

You were the type of person to keep to a routine, not a strict one but one to keep you from going crazy. Bucky on the other hand liked to rest on Sundays, just stay in bed and cuddle with as many different configurations; especially when he was little spoon.

Bucky had slept over in your apartment Saturday night after a gala at Tony’s place, you both got tipsy and your place was closer so it made sense to just order some pizza and chill in your large bed. He liked sleeping on the floor on his own, but once you first showed up you convinced him to get a mattress but not a box spring so he was closer to the ground but also comfy. When you both went mattress shopping he asked for the mattress that feels like a rock; and it sure does.

Tony’s part was fun, you and Bucky ended up finishing the fun at home. Though Bucky was still new to it all again every time you’d have sex he felt a little better, just a little more confident. He was currently sitting slightly up against the headrest, the sheets were halfway down his torso.

You were still sleeping, your head on his chest which made the sheets cover up to your shoulders. He knew you drooled a bit when you slept so it wasn’t a surprise to find a little dry patch near your mouth on his chest, Bucky knew you’d get super embarrassed when you woke up because you’ve always denied it.

His flesh hand was barely touching you, his fingertips danced across your bare back at the pace of your heart rate he felt from your bare chest.

You were both so tired and drunk to put back on sleeping clothes last night, so you both slept naked. Your eyes began to twitch so Bucky knew you’d be awake soon, he gently tried to coax you into waking up. “Good morning doll face,” he softly spoke, “time to wake up.” He couldn’t help but giggle at the groan you gave him back. “C’mon.”

“I’m ‘wake,” you sighed, you looked up at him through your puffy eyes, they always got like that in the morning.

“And how’s my naked girlfriend?” He smirked.

“You’re what…oh…” you registered the contact all over, “oh shit,” you whispered and sat up, but Bucky pulled you closer to his neck.

“I was thinkin’ we stay here all day, just cuddle and maybe throw a movie on, or two, what’d’ya say?” He always slurred his words in the morning.

“I gotta do stuff,” you say up again and managed to not get pulled back.

“Stuff?”

“Groceries, fold laundry, change the sheets, vacuum, I always do that every Sunday,” you got out of bed and slipped on a shirt Bucky had left a different he was over.

“What about cuddles?” Bucky made grabby hands from the bed, the sheets pooling dangerously low. You’d been with him so long it didn’t even phase you.

You sighed and stretched your back, “how about a deal?” You walked back to the bed and held his hands, knowing he could think you’re mad at him for some reason; you could see it in his face. “I do my stuff right now, I’ll be done…” you glance at the clock on the bedside table, “…in about two hours tops, that’ll take us to around lunch, then we can do all the things: movie, cuddles, baking cookies, all of it.”

He smiled and looked down at your intertwined hands, “sure, I like that.” He stood up and followed you to the bathroom, “what’s first?”

“You can stay back if you want to catch some z’s, I know crowds make you nervous and stuff.” You washed your face, Bucky followed when the sink was unoccupied.

“N-no- I mean yes, I hate crowds, but I think it will be fun, quality time, right?” He was making eye contact with you through the mirror.

“Very true, I’ll vacuum first and then change my sheets, I really only need to do the carpet by the TV, I don’t do my full floor all the time” you rubbed in some moisturizer before wetting your hands to get the sticky feeling off.

Bucky nodded and followed you out of the room. He offered to do the sheets on the bed which you found very caring. Once Bucky was back in the bedroom he came to the very embarrassing realization that he really didn’t know what he was doing. At all.

“Hey, babe?” He called over his shoulder, after you called back he asked, “where’s the sheets?”

“Top of my closet,” you said before starting up the vacuum.

Bucky really didn’t think he suffered PTSD, he knew he was broken and slowly healing but he never wanted to diagnose, it just wasn’t something he liked. He goes to therapy after everyone he talked to- including the government -said it would be a good idea, you were very happy when he went.

But something screwed him up, Bucky was already nervous, he wanted to make your life easier today. But part of him knew he was just going to let you down, “I always let them down,” he said to himself.

He stripped the bed easily, Bucky just ripped everything off. But as he looked between the sheet with the wrinkles on the corners and flat sheet he forgot what went where, he wanted to ask but the vacuum was going and he didn’t want to get in the way.

So he tried the fitted sheet first, it wrapped around all three corners of the mattress but at the fourth corner once he wrapped it the opposite corner gave out, he sighed and went over and tucked that one in; and then the other popped out again.

It must not be like this, he thought to himself. So Bucky tucked the flat sheet around the mattress and then took the fitted sheet and tucked it in at the bottom and then threw the duvet on. Did it look right? No, not at all. But does everything fit? Yes, yes it does. The pillow cases were easy, he could do them in his sleep.

As he walked out of the bedroom to find you wrapping up the cord, the blue carpet that tied the entire apartment together looked brand new. You tucked the vacuum away before heading to the small kitchen.

“How did the bed go?” You asked as you grabbed a sheet of lined paper off the retro fridge you found on the side of the road; it was a great steal. “Any probables?”

Bucky thought, should I tell her? But she might get mad, and then she’ll have to stop writing, I’m only slowing her down… “nope,” he whispered.

You looked in the fridge and the cabinet before writing a sufficient list, “alright, you want anything in particular?” You asked as you grabbed your keys at the front, Bucky slipped on his no name brand shoes.

Don’t be greedy, “no, I’m alright?” Bucky opened the door for you.

You headed to the store, it was typically busy on weekends and in the afternoon but when you pulled into the parking lot there didn’t seem to be too many cars. Part of your worries subsided, you had been dating Bucky long enough he gets really self conscious when he’s in public, you have also picked up on the fact that he’s being really shy today.

“Remember, if you get too overwhelmed please, please, please tell me, babe.” You stressed and looked over to him, he had taken off his seat belt after you.

“I will, don’t worry.” He assured you.

You got all the bags from your car and walked with them to the front of the store, it was a nicer place, more organic options and just healthier; not crazy ‘hipster keto guru’ type deal, but enough. The teenagers and university kids were always really nice which also made Bucky feel a little better, you remember him being in an absolute high when a kid complemented his shoes.

You found a cart and Bucky pushed, “I’ll push so you can walk around more, it’ll be fine.” He said as you walked into the store and right into the produce.

The list you make was almost always the same, your kitchen was small so having tons of food choices wasn’t really an option, it was just the basic necessities and then a few treats. You always kept a pen to cross everything out, it made everything more organized.

As you went up and down the aisles you threw what you needed into the cart, Bucky didn’t say much, he was just scanning around, occasionally looking over his shoulder. You’d ask him if he wanted anything but he still said no.

You stopped in the bread and grains section, Bucky watched as you looked between two different loafs.

“What’s up?” Bucky asked, leaving his spot at the back of the cart to stand beside you, his arm wrapping around your waist.

“No, I’m just looking at the two, I like them both, that’s all.” You sighed and leaned into his side, you were about to say something else when an elder lady started talking.

“I can’t get through, you’re leaving your cart in the middle of the aisle!” She yelled, Bucky got startled and wanted to curl into a little ball right then and there.

“Sorry, didn’t think we’d be standing here that long.” You faked a smile even though you really wanted to punch her for making Bucky jumpy again but you took the loaf closest to you and then moved your cart away. Once she left the aisle Bucky just looked at you, “god, no need to yell, right?” You scoffed, but Bucky didn’t laugh. “Hey, you alright?” You walked up to him and rubbed his shoulders.

“I’m fine, let’s keep going.” His voice was very bland.

Bucky got back to pushing the cart, his head slightly down and he wasn’t talking. You were getting a little worried but once you both got home you’d cuddle with him on the couch and try to pry it out of him.

You were done shopping and at the checkout, you decided to bag everything while Bucky placed it all on the conveyor belt on the other side, the lady was ringing it up super fast and by the time she needed payment you were still bagging.

“Bucky, can you bag?” You rubbed his back as he passed you, you took your card and began to pay for the groceries.

Bucky put everything in the bags, he wanted to make sure they were finished by the time you’d finished paying. So he chucked everything in, there doesn’t need to be too much specialization, right? It’s all gonna be unpacked soon.

Bucky pushed the cart back to the car, he was looking into the purple bag that had a little sticker on it that read ‘produce’, he looked into the bag and found chips and he remembered he put the oranges on the bottom. As he leaned forward to fix his mess the cart stopped randomly.

“Ow!” You hopped on one foot and grabbed your achilles, you just wore flip flops because it was warm outside.

Bucky scrambled to your side, “shit shit shit! I’m so sorry, so so sorry!” He worried and opened the trunk. You'd stopped at your car but Bucky thought the car was further away. “Sit,” he helped you down.

You sat on the end of the trunk as Bucky put in all the bags, apologizing when he’d turn to you. It was evident on his face that he was tired, you watched as he sluggishly turned back and forth. The grocery store wasn’t busy but probably too busy for Bucky’s liking, you knew he messed up the bags but you didn’t have the heart to tell him, he looked super worried when you were finishing the transaction.

“I’ll drive home, don’t worry.” He helped you up and closed the back.

“I can drive, buck.” You pulled him in for a quick kiss before heading to the driver’s side.

Bucky looked into the window like a pouty child, you don’t think he really meant to look that upset but it definitely came across that way. You really felt for him, he was a shy guy and communication wasn’t always his strong suit, he’s lived most of his life being told if you speak up you’ll get punished; keep your head down and don’t ask questions.

You looked between the road and Bucky for a while, he didn’t even realize because of how far his body turned to face the window. It was a nice day, sunny and hot even though Bucky wore his leather jacket and navy blue cargo pants.

“Bucky,” you started and reached over to place a hand on his thigh, “penny for your thoughts?” You gently rubbed his leg.

He just shrugged and made a little sound, your hand slipped off his leg as he pulled his thigh away.

You pulled into the driveway but as Bucky went to click his seatbelt off you locked the doors, Bucky gave you a look when he tried to open them.

You just sat forward and acted like you didn’t do anything, your fingers tapping a beat on your shearing wheel, Bucky had turned his body to face you and gently tapped your shoulder.

All you did was unbuckle and turn to face him, the little tap on your shoulder made you want to cry, he couldn’t bring himself to speak.

“What’s up?” You asked, your tone as light as can be.

“Can you unlock?” His head was down, hair covering his eyes.

“Not until you talk to me, Bucky.” You leaned back into your seat and reached over again, this time rubbing his left shoulder, you almost never did this, it typically happens after a nightmare.

“What about?” He asked but the look you have made him keep talking, “I’m just really tired, that’s all.” He tried the door again.

“I can read you like a book-“

“So what?” He snapped, “just open the door, please.” He didn’t yell but his tone was angry, “I’m really fucking tired and I just want to cuddle like you said, Y’know, the deal we made?” He tried the door again, and this time it opened.

He got out but you stayed in the car, your mouth slightly open and your eyebrows raised. Bucky looked and waited for you to get out but when you didn’t move he got back into the car.

“I’ll talk inside, but there’s ice cream in the back.” He whispered.

The bags had been brought in. The ice cream was in the freezer. It took a little longer with everything being in the wrong bags but Bucky kept apologizing as you pulled out crushed tortilla chips and flatten bread which wasn’t flat when you bought it.

“Freezing it helps,” you smiled, you didn’t even know if that was true, it probably did the opposite.

But finally, you and Bucky retreated back to the bed. His eyes were heavy and his feet dragged on the floor, you were hoping he’d talk when you had him on your chest, he always felt safe when you’d play with his hair.

Bucky pulled the sheets back after getting rid of all the pillows to be slapped in the face with his first mistake of the day. The fucked bedding.

You just stared at it, wondering how the hell he even managed to do that. When you looked up Bucky looked so defeated, he just pulled his phone out of his pocket and headed for the door.

“I need to make a call,” he grumbled.

As Bucky walked just to the apartment hallway his therapist picked up.

“Bucky, it’s my day off.”

“Wow, good to see you too, doc.” He smirked and rolled his eyes, after a while they got into a playful banter type situation that worked for the both of them.

“What’s going on?” It was like her ‘therapist cap’ was put on, her tone instantly changing.

Bucky sighed and told her about it all, the bed, the groceries, the car locking situation, everything. He was getting angry by the end, “I just can’t seem to do anything right, doc. I don’t know how she does this and more importantly how she puts up with me! I was dead weight today,” he adds.

“Does she know that?” Bucky’s therapist has never met you but you’ve been a topic of conversation tons of times.

“I don’t know…” Bucky sighed.

“You do,”

“She doesn't know,” he leaned up against the wall, his legs getting really tired.

“So go and tell her, let her know how you feel. From what happened in the car it’s obvious she cares about you, she’d probably help you learn to make a bed and all that. You’ve said yourself she’s kind and caring, so trust her, Bucky. Trust her with your feelings, you’ll feel way better.” She concluded, after a quick farewell and a confirmation of the next session, Bucky rolled his shoulders back and headed in.

You had fixed the bed and were currently finding Bucky’s favourite movie, you sat up when he walked in.

“Okay,” he stood at the foot of the bed, “I’m going to say something,” he announced. “You know I can get in my own head, and sometimes that leads to lack of communication on my end, I just can’t seem to get myself to talk.” Bucky took a deep breath, you nodded along, “but, I’m going to do it, I’m going to tell you how I feel.” His hands were shoved into his cargo pants pocket.

“Go ahead,” you sat up on your knees and gave your full attention.

“Today I felt like dead weight, I felt like I let you down. I know Sundays are kinda your days, I’ve always known that. But when I tried to help I never did it right, I messed up the bed, I messed up the groceries and hit your foot- not to mention me snapping at you which I hate myself for -but…what I’m trying to say is that I’m sorry for getting in your way, I should have known I wasn’t doing anything good.” He nodded when he finished, you stood and walked over.

“Bucky, thank you for telling me. But there is nothing to apologize for- and don’t cut me off, let me speak,” you put a finger to his lips, he only smiled and bashfully lowered his face. “You’re not dead weight, not at all. And it’s fine to mess up sometimes, where’re human. But what I don’t want to hear is you apologizing, because it’s fine.” Your hand had moved to his cheek to gently caress his face, “and just ask next time, ‘hey, babe, how do you make a bed?’ Or ‘how should I bag these foods?’, it really takes a little question and then you’re good, there’s no shame in asking a question; there’s no stupid questions.” You guided him to the bed and let him lie his head on your chest, “and I forgive you for snapping, but that wasn’t nice.” You dug your hands into his hair, he hugged you tight as another apology.

You flicked the movie in but neither of you watched, you just played with Bucky’s hair as he slowly fell asleep. His face was deep in your chest and it felt nice to he his weight on you, it was a weird comforting feeling. But soon enough you too were out like a light.

[beewritings]

bought a dress n fishnets & they came in! so now it’s time for a little eren smut oneshot thing :’) 18+

cw: little bit of angst, public sex (bathroom)

thinkin of meeting up outside of a restaurant for dinner with your friends & eren, the guy you’ve been talking to for a while, is a part of the friend group! he thinks you look sososo cute! you’re wearing a black dress with white plaid, fishnet tights and white platform sneakers (that was my outfit hehe). he wraps one arm around your waist and kisses your cheek and whispers in your ear “you look so pretty, baby” and you give a little giggle and whisper back “there’s more”. you then do a little spin while your friends are talking amongst themselves and you stop spinning, back facing eren, and bend over just a little bit for him to see it and right back up, facing him again with a little jump and a giggle.

you’re not wearing anything besides the fishnets.

his face heats up and turns around to see if any of their friends saw, and turns back around it face you and leans down to whisper yell at you.

“are you out of your mind? what if someone else saw?? not only that, are you dressed like this to tease me or something?”

you giggle and with confidence nod your head, “yup!!”

“eren, y/n, we’re going in! let’s go!” you both hear jean say. eren scoffs and grabs your wrist, dragging you in with the rest of them.

as dinner goes on, everyone is catching up with each other and sharing stories about work, class, overall just their lives. but eren can’t really seem to focus since your hand keeps roaming his thighs, down to his knee and right up to his hips, and even sinking inside his thighs towards the seat he sat on. he tries to keep up with conversation, but majority of the time he keeps eating or drinking his red wine to try and not speak because if he speaks... well they’ll know what’s going on. you’re calm though, you can eat with one hand and tease him with the other. he even tries to put a hand on your thigh, and even to where your core is since there is no underwear or anything with the fishnets. but you somehow quietly yet harshly swat his hand away.

it was clear to say who was in charge. and it wasn’t eren.

“y/n, what about you? are you talking to anyone or dating someone? got a boyfriend, or a girl?”

you look at sasha when she calls your name and answer her question.

“hm? oh.. uh, yeah, i’ve been talking to someone for a bit. he’s nice, cute, likes small personal dates rather than going all out in public and stuff. but lately it kinda seems like it’s been a friends with benefits kind of thing? we were talking and flirting but then it got sexual and now it seems like that’s all it is.. not that it’s an issue, i’m a sexual person and i tend to start the sexual tension first. but i feel like we could be a bit more... romantic? even if it’s romantic sexually. i don’t know.. sorry it’s weird, haha.” you pull your hand away from eren’s lap onto yours, and continue to eat your food avoiding eren’s look.

and he looked shocked. he didn’t know you felt that way. you both communicated about a lot of things, you’ve talked about traumas and past relationships or past fucks, but you have this anxiety in your body that gets scared to talk to him about a relationship WITH him. and you’re shaking as you eat, and he sees that. and you’re nervous to continue on, so you excuse yourself from the table to use the restroom.

you half expected him to follow him, but you didn’t ACTUALLY think he was. he excused himself about a few minutes after.

(“it’s obvious they’re talking about each other. did they think we didn’t know they were into each other? the tensions been high since high school,” mikasa points out.

“to be fair, i didn’t really realize they were into each other until we graduated. they way they hugged was not a friendly hug. it was a FRIENDLY hug,” connie joins in.)

the restrooms were placed towards the entrance, women’s, men’s and the gender neutral one that for some reason only has two stalls unlike the other two. you used the gender neutral restroom, so when you left, you see eren standing there. you give a smile to try and steady your anxiety, but it’s clear your smile holds nerves

“hey!”

“were you being honest back there?”

“... i don’t lie, eren. especially to you.”

“y/n,” he holds your face so gently, “you know we don’t have to be so sexually active, i just. thought that’s what you wanted. and of course i don’t mind whether we are or aren’t. and if you want to pursue a relationship, i like you a LOT and i would love that. but i’d rather ask you when it’s just me and you, not surrounded by icky people and our friends. i’m not a public guy, and you’re not a public person. did you want to continue this conversation at my place after dinner?”

“... yeah, i’d like that.”

eren smiles and kisses your cheek. “was there anyone in the bathroom when you went out?”

“no, why?”

eren smirks and looks around before pushing you back in there, guiding you to the bigger stall. “i’ve been holding out in you this whole night, you not wearing underwear? come on, you’re teasing me. bend over against the wall baby, you’re not getting away from this.”

he unzips his pants and reaches in to grip his dick out. you bend over a little on the stall door, shaking your booty a little, your privates on display for him. he bites his lip and smacks your ass. he mumbles a fuck before going right in. he rips a piece of the fishnets off so he could shove his dick in without the fabric rubbing against it. he doesn’t wait for you to get used to his size, he just aligns his dick to your hole, grabs your waist and starts thrusting. you cry out, but bite your finger to try and silence yourself. he’s goin in FAST, all you hear is the slapping of skin echoing throughout the room, your struggling moans, and eren breathing heavily.

he’s been hard since he saw you bend over before entering the restaurant, so he’s already close to coming. you as well, considering since you’ve been horny since leaving the house with no underwear on was such a turn on for you. so all it takes is for eren to lean forward and mumble i’m going to treat you so perfect, i’m going to show you off to the whole world and they’re going to be so jealous that i’m with the prettiest person ever. fuck, we’re gonna be the baddest and hottest couple out there, and i’m gonna love you so much and his name is echoing in the restroom from you, clenching around his cock. you’re squeezing him so tight while breathing heavily that he knows he’s about to release. he pulls out, jerking it a bit and lifts your dress a little higher and comes on your fishnet tights, on your lower back. your twitching a bit still, so he gets toilet paper to wipe it off but you stop him. this has been one of your fantasies for so long, and you refuse to let him stop it. you stand up, dropping your dress down and rub your legs together, feeling your cum rubbing together.

you giggle, turn around to face eren and grab the toilet paper from his hands, toss it aside and go on your tippy toes to kiss his cheek. he smiles, leaning down to kiss your lips instead. you wrap your arms around his neck, to kiss him further. you really fell for him hard, and you’re glad that you know you guys might actually end up in a relationship. you will be telling him everything from there on, because you trust him. you both pull apart and give off big sighs.

“y’all done? we trying to get dessert, but we don’t now what you guys want.”

you both jump slightly in shock, and slowly open the stall door to see mikasa and sasha both there, sasha giggling.

“um... i’ll take a lava cake,” you quietly say.

“i’m good, i have desserts at home,” erens voice booms in confidence.

“okay, please hurry. it’s been over ten minutes and i’m sure every customer knows what y’all were doing so we wanna eat dessert and leave asap.”

you both nod and exit the stall, fixing yourselves in the mirror. you’re embarassed, but eren’s happy, especially since if anything then everyone knows you’re his.

after dinner and after dessert, you get told off by the host and get told that if you get do that again then you both and your friends will be banned from the restaurant. on a good note, you and eren talked about everything when you got to his place and even had slow yet sexy passionate sex.

[darthwheezely]

with you - f.w.

summary: based on the song ‘with you’ from ghost the musical

warnings: y’all this is a dead!fred fic strap in i’m so sorry :,), anger/resentment, a shit ton of death mentions

a/n: i love you, Freckles.

i picked up your shirts this morning

i don’t know why

i don’t know why

The bedroom hadn’t been touched since May 2, 1998. A slew of clothes strewn about the room. A broken painting. A faint memory of him holding you. You didn’t know what was more messy, what happened to him or the world he left you with.

You started to clean.

every place we ever walked and everywhere we talked

i miss you

you never leave my mind

so much of you is left

behind…

Diagon Alley in September was a fever dream. It always was, children and their parents hopping from place to place to collect school supplies, teenagers wandering aimlessly to meet up with friends, go on dates, etc.

Diagon Alley in September was Fred’s favorite time of year.

You watched him at the shop light up and bounce about like a beach ball the moment a child asked for assistance, or even just carrying in an inventory box.

Fred would be frequently exhausted at the end of the day, but demand to take you out to the Cauldron for fish n chips, or buy you a butter beer (or four) or take you to Eeylops. You always agreed.

“One day we’ll be doing this for our own kids, Y/N,” he said softly, looking at the storefront for Wizard Wheezes, the tall animatronic lifting a rabbit from his hat slowing down for the night, even in the healthy chaos of Diagon Alley.

You looked at him then, really looked at him, the tears pooling in your eyes.

“Y-yeah?”

“Yeah.”

You hated Diagon Alley in September.

you

took my days

with you

took my nights

with you

You had never really lived after Fred.

How does a person live after watching their person get crushed under a wall?

How does a person live after they run to said wall and scream, cry, beg for mercy from some being up in heaven for this to be a nightmare?

How does a person live after trying to push a wall far too heavy for force and being carried away by another while they cried so hard they lost air?

How were you supposed to live after Fred?

those unfinished conversations we used to have

still speak to me

“Y/N?” He shouted over the enveloping noise, spells and curses being fired so hard you’d think the ceiling would cave in.

“Fred, this isn’t a really good time-“ you yelled back.

“When we make it out of this-“

when he makes it out of this

“-I’m building us that nursery you hear me?”

No one built the nursery.

all this wishful thinking gets me nowhere

i can’t stay

though my heart is broken

it keeps breaking every day…

Sometimes, on a good day, you’d get the boom box out of the closet. You always tell yourself you’ll never touch it again, but there you are, touching it again.

That mixtape he made you will get fed through the muggle machine, and then it will spit out the song Crazy by Aerosmith.

“Come on, love, get up-“

“Fred, we’ve been assembling this bed frame we can’t just give up on it-“

“Say you’re leavin’ on a seven thirty and you’re head in’ out to Hoooooll-ay-wOOood - come on Y/N, bum up and get groovin’ with me!”

You two would dance until you were kissing and then he’d hold you standing up because to Fred Weasley, there was nothing on this planet but you.

You didn’t get through the whole song this time.

you

took my hopes

with you

took my dreams

with you

Kingsley Shacklebolt had left a message on the phone:

“Hey Y/N…I’m sorry to call you on a Monday night of all days - just busy lines everywhere else. I’m um…I’m really sorry but we um…we can’t have you as an Auror right now. We don’t want to ah - speed up your…your process right now. We know you’ve had a - hard - time recently and that job’ll only make it worse. Call me back if you want and maybe we can get you back in at Magical Accidents, they’ve got an opening. Alright. Well. See you, Y/N.”

i keep thinkin that you’ll be callin

everyone says that it’s all in my head

and i can’t accept it yet

You could’ve sworn you heard him.

You felt him in the shop (when George could force you to go.)

You saw him in every laugh and giggle little Dominique made.

Fred was everywhere and nowhere. It confused you, rage swelling in your chest like a hot air balloon only awaiting gas to take flight.

You had yelled. Told him going on that mission was selfish when you’d both been too risky for the Order as is.

“You can push me away all you want, Y/N-“

“Fred, stop-“

“No you need to listen to me for once in your life and it’s that i’m not going anywhere, I’m going to do that damn Seven Potters mission and I am coming home to you, do you hear me?”

You looked at him.

“I am always coming home, Y/N.”

“What a good joke, Fred, but where’s the punchline?”

i can’t comprehend this

and pretend that i don’t care

any place i wanna be

i wanna see you there…

“Hi, Freddie,” you hoarsely called to the barren-ness of the house.

“I hate sleeping here, did you know that? I feel way too close to telling myself that we’re okay, that I’m okay, kinda dumb isn’t it?”

No one answered.

“‘S alright, you always did hate the serious stuff. I’m just heading out to Gin and Harry’s for the night okay? I promise I’ll come back tomorrow. Will you be here?”

No one answered. You smiled, tears falling on your lips.

“That’s okay, I understand.”

You choked out a laugh and shrugged. “I love you! Have a good night, sweetheart.”

You shut the door.

you

took my life

with you

took my world

with you…

•••

taglist! @lumosandnoxwriting @billyhxrgrove @wandsandwheezes @harrysweasleys @fredweasleyisart @luvfrommars @luvshack @babyjordy @jillys-feral-fandoms @vibraniumwing @vixen @goddessofdawns @sagittarius-flowerchild @sinfulweasley @animprxperworld @daedreamss @lilypad-55449 @i-love-scott-mccall @omghufflepuff @vivianweasley @wh0reforthemarauders @amrtxntias @sunrisefairy @theorangedrummer @loony-loopy-lupinn @band--psycho @melmalone

[teddy06writes]

Come Back Home

requested by this anon: “ hello!! i was wondering if i could have a karl x sapnap x quackity x reader where the reader falls out with one of them and there’s loads of angst, but it ends in fluff and just cute stuff. i love ur writing so much, thank you <3″

as well as this one: “ hello :D may i request some angst then comfort scenes for a karl x quackity x sapnap x reader? “

so....

sapnap x karl x quackity x reader (lowkey musician!reader)

trigger warnings: yelling, swearing, mentions of hook ups, drinking, angst

premise: you think you might be falling out of love, or something close to that with your boyfriends, so you ask to take a break until you can figure things out, and nothing seems to feel right till you go back; song credit is Come Back Home by Anthony Ramos {I changed parts of the second verse}

(y/n/n)- your nickname

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I- I never said I knew that I was!” You argued. 

Alex folded his arms, “What about them? You fucking lying to them too?” 

You ran a hand through your hair, “I’m not lying about anything!” 

“YOU JUST SAID YOU WERE FALLING OUT OF LOVE!” you jumped, surprised at his yelling, “So if that’s true why’d you fucking tell us you loved us last night?” 

“I don’t know if I am Alex! I need time to figure this out!” 

“So it’s just me then. You just want to leave me!” 

“I might be falling out of love with all of you!” You shakily admitted, desperately searching your boyfriends eyes, “And I’m terrified! I don’t want to fall out of love! I don’t want to leave any of you! I just need time to figure this out.” 

Alex sat in silence, refusing to look at you. 

Shakily you grabbed the bag you’d been packing when he found you, just a few of the outfits you kept at that apartment, along with your music stuff, “I’m going back to California, just for a month or so.” 

“I thought you sold the apartment.” He sounded to blunt, to broken. 

“I pulled out of the deal, and my stuff hadn’t been shipped yet. I- I don’t want to leave Alex,” You slipped your bag over your shoulder, “I- didn’t want it to be like this.” 

“So you were going to leave when they were out.” He spat. 

You froze in grabbing your guitar, “I was going to try and make this hurt less. If me leaving to find out if I should stay or not is what it takes, then why make it hurt more?” 

“What am I suppose to tell them?” Alex asked desperately. 

“The truth. I’ll be back when I figure this out.” 

“And if it isn’t what I want it to be?” 

You took a deep breath, “I think you’ll know.”

You walked out the door, trying to ignore the way small sobs filled the apartment as you left, tears working there way into your own eyes.

~~

California, though isolating you enough to sort out your feelings, was far too numbing to provide Alex the technical closer he thought was coming. 

Karl had been heartbroken when he found out you left, and the few months that you’d been gone had only helped to break him more, especially as the only news they got about you came from the updates on your upcoming album. 

Nick had been equally heartbroken,  though somewhat mad, he’d learned to live with it, instead focusing his angry energy into keeping his boyfriends together and functional. 

~~

You sighed, sitting up as your apartment door closed. 

You knew it was wrong, deep down, these one night stands, and evenings lost in a haze of alcohol, deep down, you missed them, and none of this was making the feelings you’d tried to press back down after the first experimental hook up. 

Rubbing at your eyes you quietly began to get dressed, ideas running through your mind. 

Pulling up twitter you found yourself scrolling through Alex’s twitter, he seemed to be doing okay, Nick was, well he hadn’t been active on twitter before, but Karl’s twitter remained silent. 

That was what got you worried. 

Karl was never not active on twitter, but even his second account had remained quiet since you left. 

Grabbing a bottle of water you sat down, thankful for your moment of clarity as you picked up your guitar, ready to get to work. 

“I only feel the ground under my feet...”

This was going to be a huge gamble.

~~

“Guys!” Karl called softly from his place on the couch. 

“Yeah baby?” Alex yawned. 

“(y/n) just posted a new single on youtube.” 

“So?” Nick asked, bitterly, “Why should we care?” 

“Oh, I- I was just wondering, if we could watch it. We- we don’t have to.” Karl said softly. 

Nick softened upon hearing his voice, “Alright, lets see it.” 

They cuddled together next to Karl as he pulled up the video, the description reading, ‘come back home, less of an apology, more of a plea’.

The video opened on a dark room, partially lit by a lamp in the corner, only about half of your face was visible, as well as the guitar in your hands. 

You took a deep breath a sighed, before beginning to play. 

The screen split to show the recordings of you playing the other parts, both in similar dark rooms. 

“I had to leave, to see, how good I had it, I had it, I had to go, to know how good I had it. Would you have me if I came back home?” 

They watched as the scene shifted, you as you walked through a park in LA, “My mama said when I was six years old,  I would always sit up by the window, I would always say this city way too cold. Wish there was another place I could go She would ask where and I would say,” 

There was an arieal of the same park, “Where, anywhere, tell me where 'cause I'm scared, If I'm here then I'll never see paradise, I just wanna see paradise.”  As you repeated the chorus, back in your room, and then moved on to singing about them, “Yeah I’d been dating Nick for three years, we’d made a promise, cause we were just kids in college, thinkin’ bout our tomorrows, 

“then we met Karl, course we had to keep ‘im, he made the grass even greener, cause theoretically he made us even more complete, 

“but then along came Alex, and we pulled him in, but he looked me in the eyes when I said ‘my heart isn’t in it’ , he challenged that thought, asked me ‘So where is it?’

Alex clamped a hand over his mouth, burying his head in Karl’s shoulder. 

“I said, where, anywhere, tell me where ‘cause I’m scared, if I’m here then I’ll never see paradise, I just wanna see paradise.” 

The scene changed from the park back to your room, “So I had to leave to see, How good I had it, I had it, I had to go to know, How good I had it, Would you have me if I come back home?”

The room remained dark, though your voice became a bit more upbeat as you sang, “Nothing better than my mama rice and beans, All the sound, the people yellin' on the street, The lights when I land at JFK,The cold wind when it hits me in my face,

“I only feel the ground under my feet when my boys are standin' right there next to me and Those the things that make me feel at home And that's the only paradise I know, so..” 

The room began to brighten, just a bit, as the extra voice overs were added.  “I had to leave to see, How good I have it, I have it, I had to go to know, How good I have it (How good I have it) I have it (So I'm comin' home)”

Pictures began to flash on the screen, pictures of you all together, during streams, while you were working on music, a video of you and Karl, trapped by an Alex sleeping across your laps while Nick laughed.

The beach day you’d had last year, Karl and Alex decorating your recoding spot with fairy lights, Nick with you up on his back, you and Alex singing, behind the scenes of one of Karls mr. beast videos, midnight moments, and small moments, all flooding the screen. 

“Nothing better than my mama's rice and beans (Ooh, ooh, I'm comin' home) All the sound, the people yellin' on the street, The lights when I land at JFK, (Oh, I'm comin' home), The cold wind when it hits me in my face I only feel the ground under my feet when my boys are standin' right there next to me and (Yeah, I'm gon' come back home) Those the things that make me feel at home, And that's the only paradise I know.” 

The pictures faded, and you smiled softly at the camera, “Would you have me if I came back home?” 

The video faded away, and the boys were knocked out of there trance by a knock at the door. 

Shakily Alex stood up, blinking away tears as he moved to answer it.

“(y/n).”

You smiled, “You saw the video yeah?” 

He practically burst into tears, “Yeah.” 

“So? Will you have me since I came back home?” You sang softly. 

Alex surged forward, throwing his arms around you, tears falling from both sets of eyes as he pulled you inside.

In the living room Nick was holding a still crying from the video Karl,  glaring up at you, “You had to make him cry one more time?” 

Karl sniffled, “These are good tears.” 

You smiled, setting your bag down before maneuvering to sit down with Alex still wrapped around you. 

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left for that wrong. I do love you all.” 

“We love you too.” 

[shyneanon]

So like the skeleton simp community (it’s basically its own fandom) has really changed me, I never used to write romance, but I just... reaaaally love the Bonely Hearts Club thing where Red bakes in secret, so like... @bonelyheartsclub I may or may not have written x reader fanfiction before the full game is even out??? Oh gosh I’m going to write so much fanfiction when the game comes out help me

Anyway here’s Reader finding out about his hobby

----

You were falling asleep on Red’s shoulder when he spoke up.

“Hey, sweetheart.”

“Mm?” you mumbled, blinking awake. Red had paused his game to talk to you. He was usually fine with speaking over the game, so this wasn’t just casual conversation. You (reluctantly) lifted your head off his shoulder so that you could actually make proper eye contact, and once you did, you realized that he looked strangely serious. “Yeah?”

He seemed to hesitate a moment, breaking eye contact, then said, “I… I was thinkin’ I could show ya somethin’.”

Well, judging from how uncharacteristically tentative he seemed, it wasn’t sexual. “Yeah,” you said. “Anything.”

“But you gotta promise not tah tell anybody. Not the other skeletons, nobody…. Got it?”

You raised an eyebrow. Red, hiding something from everyone? He was always pretty loud about things that most people tried to keep discreet. What could he possibly be hiding that would be private even to him?

“As long as you didn’t murder someone,” you said with a smile. He started to close the game, so thankfully, no, he hadn’t murdered anyone.

When he stood up, you moved to get up with him, but he stopped you. “No, it’s in here, I’ll jus’… grab it.”

You watched as he went over to a disorganized pile of… lots of things. Books, video games, magazines, dirty clothing. His room wasn’t as messy as it used to be, but Red was still a Sans. Lazy was their thing.

He started to dig around and eventually fished out several books. You already knew he was a scientist, so they couldn’t be physics books. Were they… porn or something? Like, some really weird kind? No, that wouldn’t make any sense, why would he show you that? You didn’t really need to know the details of his habits in that department.

When he headed back over, you could see an actual blush on his face. Seriously, what was this? Was it romantic? Was he trying to be romantic? No, you’d seen that before, and it was adorably awkward, not… tense, like this.

“So,” he said, “please, just… promise ya won’t laugh at me.”

Why would you laugh at him? Not that you never had, but it had never been spiteful or condescending. “I won’t laugh at you. I promise.”

“... Cool.” He looked down at the books. You couldn’t even get a good look at their spines. Alright, now you had to know what this was about. If he backed out you were going to be really frustrated.

“So,” he said, “y’know how Rus sometimes likes bakin’ stuff, and ya told me that sometimes it’s better than other times?”

… What?

What did this have to do with Red? Still, you nodded-- albeit slowly, and you were sure your confusion was visible on your face.

“W… Well, the times you said it was better, Rus didn’t bake ‘em.”

For some reason, you didn’t put the pieces together at this point. Probably because you were too busy being confused that he had brought up such a mundane topic when being so secretive. “What?”

He made a small sound of frustration, though it wasn’t directed at you, and then held the books up so that you could see their covers.

Recipes.

Baking recipes.

“Wait,” you said, “you bake?”

He looked like he wanted to bury his face in something. “Yeah.”

You bit your lip, but it was no use; you started to giggle. He looked surprised, and you forced yourself to stop when he shrank back a little in embarrassment.

“N-- no,” you said, “it’s not like that! I’m not--”

“I know it’s lame, ya don’t hafta pretend it ain’t.”

“No, Red, I’m just… This is it? This is the secret you wanted to tell me?” Surely there was more.

“Yeah.”

There wasn’t more. You snorted. “Why is this so embarrassing?”

“I mean… it’s not real on-brand fer me, it’s a real soft hobby.” He kept avoiding eye contact. “Stuff like that.” It sounded like there was a lot more on his mind, but you knew Red had a hard time talking about how he felt. You wouldn’t press him about it.

You shrugged. “I mean, it’s unexpected, yeah, but that’s not a bad thing.” You nodded at the books. “How long have you been doing this for?”

“Started a while after we ended up wit’ all th’ other skeletons, livin’ together. It’s actually… kinda nice, tah do somethin’ soft.” His toothy smile returned. “Kinda like a weird middle finger to th’ Underground. Also, I gotta sweet tooth, ‘n this helps.”

His reasons actually seemed pretty Red-like. “A middle finger is totally on-brand for you.”

He was loosening up, his smile less strained and nervous than it was before. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Then you realized something.

“Wait, doesn’t Rus know?”

Red’s smile faltered. “Uh… not exactly.”

Again, what? “Then how…?”

“So, sometimes he fucks up real bad.” His face grew oddly serious. “‘N I mean real bad. Not ‘s bad as Boss’s cookin’, but that’s not sayin’ much. It can be a real disaster. Or jus’ flavorless, ‘r whatever. So, I, uh… I may or may not toss it out, ‘n then bake a replacement.”

You snorted and let out another laugh, this one louder than the giggling from before. “And he doesn’t know?”

Red’s grin widened. “‘E’s got no idea. Thinks it’s just a stroke ‘a genius.” Some pink crept onto his cheeks again. “But… ya can’t tell, OK? The others’d make fun of me.”

“No they wouldn’t.”

“Some’a them would.”

… OK, yeah, maybe some of them would. “OK, I promise I won’t tell.”

“Thanks.”

You stood up. “You said doing soft stuff was a middle finger?”

He looked a bit curious as to what you were getting at, but he answered, “Yeah.”

You headed over to him and wrapped your arms around his neck before kissing his cheek.

“Can we cuddle?” you asked in a small, gentle voice that you knew seemed to crack him every time.

He was surprised for a moment, then dropped the books on the floor in his typical fashion. You wouldn’t tell him to put them up-- not now that he was wrapping his own arms around your waist.

“Ah… d-- doll,” he mumbled shyly.

His face had somehow gotten redder, and the usual edge he had to his smile was gone. His eyelights were large and fuzzy; you always loved when he looked at you like that.

“Y… Yer the only thing I really need tah help my sweet tooth,” he said quietly.

He was always so timid when he said anything romantic. You nuzzled him. “You’re so cute,” you told him.

“Don’ say that, ‘m supposed t’be bad.” You could tell he didn’t mean it-- he was smiling.

“Whatever you say, bad boy.” Bad boy. Psh. He was adorable. So adorable that he was going to be the death of you. “We should bake together sometime.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. We could make brownies when no one’s around. And then eat them with ice cream.”

His grin became a bit mischievous. “Yeah. It’ll be our dirty little secret, huh?” It softened again and he placed his forehead against yours. “You said you wanna cuddle, sweetheart?”

“Mhmm. A middle finger to the Underground, right? Screw the Underground.”

“Yeah,” he said, pulling you close and nuzzling you, although it was a bit rougher than necessary. “Fuck that place.”

He was still learning how to cuddle properly, but you didn’t care. You just liked being in his arms.

[jaceyneedsabetterusername]

Hayloft (p.2)

Pairing: Arvin Russell x F!Reader

Summary: Your dad brings home his new coworker, Arvin Russell, telling you that he’ll be living with the two of you for a while. While attempting to keep Arvin from seeing the disfunction of your relationship with your father, the two of you grow closer than you thought. (Inspired by “Hayloft” by Mother Mother, though that’ll really only be one chapter later on so I don’t know if it really counts…)

Warnings: Abuse, drunkenness, misogyny, reader’s mother is dead, decapitating a chicken, reader is kind of emotional in this chapter

Word Count: 4.2k

A/N: My first slow(er) burn fic! Let me know what you think!

Part 1 

_____________________

Work had passed fairly quickly as it always did when you had the opening shift. It sure sucked having to arrive at five o’clock in the morning but at least you got off earlier and you knew that that way you could grab groceries before your father got home and could yell at you about an empty kitchen again. By two o’clock in the afternoon, you were home again, hopping out of your truck and grabbing as many bags as you could in one go. 

The loud sound of metal slamming against metal shook you and you flinched, looking between your door and the frame to see Arvin walking out towards you. It hadn’t occurred to you that his car was even in your driveway. After so many years of having busted broken down old cars sitting there that your dad had been swearing he’d fix for almost ten years, cars in the driveway seemed normal. “Let me give you a hand,” he offered as he got closer, lifting the canvas bags from your hands before you could object. 

“Oh!” You exclaimed as you felt the weight suddenly taken off your own arms, “Thank you.” You dove back into the truck to grab the last two bags before slamming it shut with your hips. The two of you began your stroll towards the front door, the dirt driveway kicking up around your feet. “You’re back early.” You noted, looking over at Arvin. 

He shrugged, “Yeah, uh, Wallace had me on the early shift today.” 

You fumbled with the bags as you tried to unlock the door, kicking it open with your toes when it finally gave in. You walked into your home and Arvin followed, closing the door behind him. “Been here long? I didn’t see you in the driveway.” 

“Not too long. I just didn’t want to let myself into your home without nobody there.” Arvin set the bags on the counter next to where you set yours. 

You began to unpack the bags and put the groceries in the respective places. Arvin watched off to the side, unsure of how your kitchen was organized so he was worried he’d do more than good if he stepped in. “My daddy got the late shift?” 

Arvin shook his head, noticing that his beat up old hat was still on his head despite being indoors and took it off immediately, his tousled brown curls parting messily down the middle. “No, we went in at the same time. He ‘n some buddies said they was goin’ to some bar in town.” 

He watched your shoulders fall a little and you sighed, “Figures…. You didn’t go?” 

Again, Arvin shook his head, “No. No offense to your daddy but I don’t like to drink the way I get the feelin’ he does.” 

You snorted, turning to him with a knowing chuckle, “Let’s just say that I’m sorry in advance for whatever he says or does when he gets home, if he gets home. Sheriff Pike might end up callin’ in the mornin’ tellin’ us to pick him up.” Though it was stated as a joke, Arvin could hear the tragic reality behind your words. 

Arvin then noticed the pack of beer bottles that you were pulling out of the bag. As if you could feel his eyes looking at you with worried curiosity, you glanced over at him, noticing the way his eyes flicked between you and the beer in your hands. You offered a sad shrug, “I know what you’re thinkin’ but trust me. Sometimes it’s better to have him drunk and possibly content than sober and angry there’s nothing to drink. Besides, the beer is better than the hard stuff with ‘im.” 

“‘M sorry. I didn’t mean to be makin’ faces. Your business is your business,” Arvin backpedalled, giving you an apologetic nod. 

You shook your head, “Don’t worry. I know how it looks. I’m sorry you gotta see all of it. I been tryin’ to keep to keep him calm but if you end up stayin’ a while, I’m sure you’ll get to see him at his worse times.” 

Arvin chewed his lip as he contemplated whether or not to bring up what had been going through his mind but he had to make sure you were alright. “I-I heard you ‘n your dad talkin’ last night… right after you left my room.” 

Your face fell as you realized what he was talking about, “You weren’t s’posed to hear that. I’m sorry.” Shit, this was what you were hoping to avoid. 

“Are you alright?” 

Gentle. Caring. His tone was something that had been long lost to you in this house and it took the words out of your mouth for a moment. It was embarrassing, the way your heart welled up with… well love wasn’t quite the right word but the warmth of being cared about. Not since after your mother had passed had you heard somebody actually care about how you felt. 

You just nodded and gave a forced smile that you could tell was easy to see through but it was the best you could muster. For someone who was able to take so much shit from their father and was able to look the man who would throw things at you and grab you by the hair dead in the eye with nothing but contempt, it was compassion that made you crumble. It had been so unexpected, especially from Arvin, the stranger living in your house. 

“Shit, ‘m sorry! I didn’t mean to - I didn’t mean to overstep. I only…” He stammered over his words and at first you were confused until you felt the single hot tear tracing its way down your cheek. 

You were quick to wipe it away, shocked at your own uncharacteristic show of vulnerability. You hadn’t realized until now that you had zoned out on the ground while Arvin’s words repeated in your head but now a flash of embarrassment ran through you. “No, no, no. I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” You sniffled once before giving a small laugh of disbelief. “It’s just… It’s been a long time since anybody asked that.” 

You straightened up and ran your hands through your hair, eyes closed as you thought of what else you needed to do. Thankfully, if your dad was at the bar, you had at least another four hours to just you and Arvin, all night if you were lucky, though you seldom were. That was when the feeling of dread set in. Your dad had requested chicken roast for dinner tonight and whether he came home early and only a few beers in or you had to drive him home hungover in the morning, the man would be furious if there weren’t at least reheated leftovers for him. You had to kill Patty and prep her for dinner. 

“You okay?” Arvin asked again, though this time it was in reference to the way a heavy look fell over your features. It wasn’t a profound deep question like it was earlier. 

Your head wavered from side to side and your lips twisted, “My daddy asked for chicken roast tonight. I gotta go out and fix Patty up.” You tried to put it lightly though it felt anything but. “I’ll be out in the coop. You’re more than welcome to clean up in the shower or do whatever you’d like ‘round the house. The radio is in the livin’ room if you wanna tune into somethin’.” 

You pushed yourself off the counter and walked to the door in your kitchen that led out to the backyard but Arvin made a few steps to follow, “Is it alright if I keep you company? It don’t feel right bein’ in your house without you or your daddy here.” 

You smiled at the thought of him staying with you and you nodded, continuing out the door, “Sure, c’mon.” 

The hen house wasn’t very far from the back door. From there, you could see the several acres of land that your father was wasting. Your grandparents had bought this land in the late 1910’s and had started up a little farm of their own to sell locally, though your father had abandoned the farming portion after they died. It was where your daddy had grown up and then where you had as well. God, how you missed your grandparents. Your grandmother’s soft words of love and kindness but sternness and willingness to swat your butt with a wooden spoon if you got an attitude (though she would yell at your father if he ever tried to discipline you - “Now you leave that poor baby alone!”). Your grandfather had looked like a rough and angry old man from years of hard work but he had the softest heart of anyone you’d ever met. How the two of them had raised your father was beyond you. 

When you approached the wired fence and jiggled the lock open, the chickens inside stood surprisingly still. They trusted you. You could see it in their little brown eyes. You were safe and warm and didn’t want to harm them. You came in for the unfertilized eggs they laid and left, oftentimes with some seed and a soft pat or two on the head. Patty, a fat white hen with black specks, walked comfortably around your feet, nuzzling her head against your leg. She was the nicest hen you’d ever had. She trusted you. 

God, you were about to cry again. You bent down to pick her up and you held her against your chest, trying to look her in the eye, though it was difficult when she kept jerking it in different directions. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am,” you murmured low. Usually it was your father that would slaughter the hens if he really wanted the meat that badly. You had never done it yourself but he’d made you watch every time so that you knew how if the time ever came. Each time it made you sick to your stomach. 

Already, you felt green. The unassuming hen that you had been friendly enough to for her not flip out when you held her was none the wiser that her life was about to end by your hand. You glanced over to the large wood round just ahead and the axe that was leaned up against it. 

Your face contorted as you realized how much you disliked the placement. The way your father would slaughter chickens right in front of their friends made your heart break. It was barbaric. 

You walked over to Arvin and held Patty out towards him, “Would you mind holdin’ onto her for a second?” 

Though visibly confused, he took the chicken from your hands, drawing back when her wings fluttered out at the contact with the new strange man. Arvin watched as you walked towards the large round and tried to push it with all your might. “What’re you doin’?” 

“I’m-” you grunted, feeling it slide slowly, inch by inch, “trying to move it where the other chickens can’t see.” You took another moment to use all your force against it before standing up straight and breathing heavily, “I know it sounds dumb cause they’re only chickens but it feels cruel to make ‘em watch, y’know?” You went back to pushing the round and Arvin approached behind you. 

From here he could see the blood stains in the wood. It looked as if the blood had been washed off but the wood had been stained crimson regardless. There was also a divot where an axe had clearly been driven down many times over the years, chipping away at the wood. 

Arvin’s heart actually warmed a little at your attempt to show mercy and your willingness to go out of your way to spare some chickens’ feelings. It wasn’t something he was sure he’d do himself but when he heard you say it, he realized you had a point. It was cruel to imprison a bunch of animals and then lead them out one by one to be slaughtered in front of everyone, each animal waiting their turn. “Here, take ‘er back. Let me.” Arvin stepped in, handing Patty back over to you and bending down to lift the round onto its side with much effort. The wood had to weigh at least a hundred pounds and had long since settled into the ground where it had been placed when you were a child.

Your eyes widened as you watched his biceps bulge, straining the material of his blue t-shirt. You’d never seen a man with muscles like that before and you found your eyes trailing along his arms, following every popping vein from the tops of his hands, up his forearms, and onto his biceps until they disappeared beneath his shirt. It was something you hadn’t expected to see in him. Arvin looked like a quiet, polite, hardworking young man but you never would have imagined the immaculate muscles he possessed. You found your mind wandering to what other surprises laid in store beneath all those layers he wo- 

You needed to calm yourself down. If only he could hear your thoughts, he surely would be furious and disgusted with you. You hadn’t had such impure thoughts since that one time you had been messing around with Jimmy Bates in the backseat of his old car back in your senior year of high school. The two of you didn’t even go all the way but you went far enough and the guilt ate you alive since the two of you were never officially together anyways. He was just the cute boy from high school that you had pined over years that had finally given you the chance right before he shipped off to join the war. 

“This alright?” Arvin asked, shaking you from your fantasy, and you snapped back into reality to realize he had rolled the wood round around the side of the coop behind the wooden wall, outside of the other chickens’ views. 

You nodded and walked over to him, “That’s perfect. Thank you so much for doin’ that. I know it’s sorta stupid.” 

Arvin shook his head, putting his hands on his hips, “If it means somethin’ to you, it ain’t stupid at all. Besides, now that you pointed it out, it was a little barbaric.” 

You smiled up at him, one which he returned. How was this boy so damn nice? Was this some cosmic way of the universe finally giving you something good in your life? You’d become so calloused to your father’s harsh words and barked commands that you had forgotten how nice it was to feel cared about and validated. And you barely knew him. 

“‘M glad you think so.” You looked down at Patty in your arms and any good feelings you’d had melted to sadness and fear. “You been a good girl, Patty. I know you struggled with layin’ eggs for a while but you were always a good girl. Never bit me once unlike some of them other hens.” You weren’t often very soft and vulnerable but you were about to take something’s life for the first time and you couldn’t help but feel the weight of that on your heart. If this were a life or death situation, you would feel better about it, but it wasn’t. The only reason Patty had to die was because your father would throw a fit if she didn’t. 

You carried her to the log and gave her a little kiss on the top of the head, “Please don’t hate me but I understand if you do. Say hi to my momma for me, will you? Tell her I love and miss her.” You set her down and got her in the position you always saw your dad put the other chickens in before he chopped their heads off. Arvin handed you the axe with uncertainty but watched on as you struggled to bring yourself to finish the deed. 

You held her down and you could tell by the way she was flailing that she was panicking now. Patty was well aware of what was happening. “I’m sorry!” You choked, tears welling up in your eyes as her panic began to turn into your own panic. How did people do this? Why was this so freaking difficult? 

Tossing the axe slightly in your hand, you readjusted the handle and just as you went to swing, Arvin piped up, “I can do it.” 

You looked over at him, the afternoon sun reflecting the tears in your eyes and making the color of your irises stand out in tragic beauty. “I-I- Would you really not mind?” You breathed out in relief. 

Arvin stepped forward and you handed the axe out to him, “I don’t mind.” You held onto Patty until Arvin could position her just right as well. He had no idea what he was doing - he’d never had to slaughter a chicken before. He had heard that all you had to do was cut their head off though and then he’d heard the rumors of them running around like crazy even after their head hit the ground. How hard could it be? 

Once he had the hen pinned down where he wanted her, he looked up to see you chewing on your thumb, brows knitted in discomfort. It wasn’t the first chicken you’d watched get slaughtered but it was far from something you enjoyed observing. Arvin signaled to you with a nod before raising the axe above his head and you shut your eyes tight, flinching at the sound of the old metal head thudding into the old wood. 

**

You had the carcass sitting in the sink while you pulled off the blood soaked feathers, depositing them into the trash bin by the handful. This part was easier for you, something you’d done many times in the past. “Thank you for doin’ that. I’m sorry I’m such a baby.” 

Arvin sat at the kitchen table behind you, “You ain’t a baby just cause you don’t like to kill things. I’d say it’s probably rather normal.” 

The time was inching closer to four o’clock now and the sun was beginning to hang ever so slightly lower in the sky, the precursor to sunset. It was warm outside and a cool spring breeze blew in through the open window above the sink. You snickered as you pulled another handful of feathers out, “Yeah? That mean you ain’t normal?” You looked over at him with a playful glint in your eye but your smile fell when you saw an uncomfortable look cross his face, almost like he’d seen a ghost. 

“I ain’t never said I liked killin’ either.” Arvin attempted to match your joking tone but it was pretty evident there was a weight behind his words. 

“Hey, I‘m sorry. I was only jokin’.” A pang of guilt washed over you but it was only that. A joke. You hadn’t imagined teasing him over something like killing a chicken would set him off, especially since he volunteered to do it for you, but apparently you were wrong. 

Arvin sniffed and scratched his nose, “I know.” After a moment of awkward silence, he stood, “Let me give you a hand. What do you need done?” 

You scanned his face once more to make sure he was really okay but you decided to drop it when you saw his insistent look. You shook your head, “I got it. It ain’t much after I get this all gutted and cleaned.” You picked up the mostly featherless carcass by the wings and plopped it back down into the sink. 

“Well ‘m sure there’s vegetables or somethin’ else that goes with it, right? Let me start cuttin’ those up.” His persistence was adorable, making your heart flutter in the most wonderful way. The idea of a man actually being helpful was unknown to you before Arvin. Your life had been filled with your dad’s drunken bossings since you were twelve years old. You couldn’t remember the last time a genuinely kind voice offered you anything more than a smile on the street, not that you took that for granted. Arvin was just different though. Noble and helpful and kind. 

“You really don’t have to-” 

“Yeah, you keep sayin’ that but I really do want to help. So what can I do to make things easier on you?” He took a few steps closer to you until you felt the beginning of what could have been sparks if he stepped any nearer, like when you hold two magnets a few inches apart and you can feel the energy between them, that hint of attraction, but it’s not quite close enough to pull them together. 

The blush in your cheeks at his simple gesture made you break the eye contact with a nervous laugh of retreat, “Okay, fine. If you’re gonna be so insistent,” you drew out with a teasing drawl, “you can cut up veggies. There’s potatoes over there and carrots and zucchini in the fridge.” 

Arvin’s lips turned up in a small smile when you finally resigned your stubborn ways and he went off to find the vegetables where you had directed him. 

Needless to say, when your father came home from the bar to find you and Arvin talking over a song by the Platters playing on the radio with Arvin cleaning up the dishes while you tossed together the vegetables and the seasoning, he was less than pleased. 

“What the hell is going on here?” His slurred speech made your eyes widen in fear. He was supposed to get home later like he always did. But then you found yourself chiding your irresponsibility. Why the hell would you take that chance? You knew better than to let Arvin help out and now you were gonna pay. 

Arvin sensed the way you tensed up beside him and watched as you spun around to face your father with haste, “Just finishin’ up dinner now. Should be ready by six so you got more than enough time to take a sho-” 

“Why the fuck is he doin’ the dishes?” You father was leaning against the wall, clearly relying on the structure for support. This wasn’t the time to test him, not with Arvin here. It was times like this when he’d start throwing stuff at you. 

Before you could say anything, Arvin piped up firmly but respectfully, “I offered, sir. It’s no problem at all.” 

Your dad pointed at Arvin, “A man ain’t got no place with his hands in a sink of dishes. You leave that shit to her and she’ll just grab you a beer.” He stumbled over his own feet before catching himself ungracefully. 

Arvin’s jaw set tightly and you gripped the countertop with white knuckles behind you. Times like this, you weren’t even sure what to say anymore. No amount of standing up for yourself got you anywhere with him. You never made any headway with your dad’s sexist views on gender roles. It was pointless. The only thing to do was try and work your way to supporting yourself so you could get the hell out of dodge and never look back. 

Arvin’s voice surprised you, “A man’s place is helpin’ out the women in his life when they need, not leavin’ ‘em to do all the housework themselves.” You nearly choked on your own tongue at his words. It was a bold statement for a man to make, especially to the head of the house that was being so gracious as to host him free of charge, but he didn’t back down. It appeared like the jab was lost on your drunken father but Arvin continued with a slightly less accusatory comment to diffuse the situation regardless, “I grew up helpin’ my grandma with all the house chores so I really don’t mind at all.” 

You watched the way your dad eyed Arvin and then you before scoffing and grumbling incoherently as he shuffled his way into the living room. You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding. “I don’t want you gettin’ kicked out ‘cause of me. You didn’t have to say nothin’.” 

Arvin glared at where your father had disappeared and nodded, “Yeah, I did. You don’t deserve all the shit he gives you.” 

You suddenly found yourself avoiding his eyes and twisting your lips. He was right and you were well aware of that fact. The abuse your dad put you through was uncalled for at best. The fact that Arvin had actually taken the time to not only notice the same fact but acknowledge it and stand up for you was something you never thought you’d hear someone do. It made you uncomfortable. You’d been fighting this battle by yourself for so long that letting somebody even know it was being waged was enough to make you want to sink away. Even so, a part of you wanted to let Arvin keep standing up for you. It made you feel weak after having to stand up for yourself for so long but also validated. 

Your eyes flicked up to meet his for only a moment before turning back towards dinner that sat in a roasting pan on the stove, “Thank you.” 

______

Taglist: 

@thisisparadisemylove

@justapurrcat

[angst-fairygodmother]

Beginning Forever ~ An Idiot (Affectionate) Story

A/N: This is better. This is what I meant to be writing earlier this week. And it’s been a long time coming, considering I started it before I even finished the series. Grade A Fluff. Please accept it as my apology. Word Count: 2001 Rating: PG-13 - minor references to the plot of Bad Samaritan; some instances of canon-typical language, innuendo

“I’ve been thinkin, man,” Derek started hesitantly, bouncing their soccer ball on his toe.

“That’s never good,” Sean laughed. “Should I call Ryne and warn her?”

“No!” There was a note of panic in Derek’s voice before he settled again. “I mean, she’s kinda what I’ve been thinkin about.”

“Kinda?”

“I guess it’s definitely about her, and us? I dunno man.”

“Is this going to make me uncomfortable?”

“No, nah. It’s not about that. I don’t talk about our sex life with you anymore, man.”

“I don’t even like you using the phrase 'our sex life.'” Sean made a face of disgust.

“Come on, dawg. I’m trying to be serious right now.”

“Are you thinking about breaking up with her? Cus I want to know that even less than I want to know about...that other stuff.”

“What? No! Never! Actually, it’s...the opposite of that.”

Derek had never been nervous talking to Sean before. But he was protective of Ryne, and Menace was the only living being whose opinion she valued more. He couldn’t exactly ask the damn cat if she’d say yes or if he was stepping too far, though.

“The opposite…? You mean,” Sean’s eyebrows shot up, practically into his hair, “you’re thinking about proposing to her?!”

“Yeah. I mean, maybe. It’s not like I went out and bought a ring or nothin yet, but, I love her and…” he shrugged. “I kinda like the idea of it, you know?”

Sean stared at his best friend, dumbfounded. It had been a little weird at first, when Ryne and Derek had first gotten together. But he’d done his best to be supportive, and he did think they made a good, if unusual, match. And then everything had gone down with Erendrich. He was almost certain his best friend wouldn’t have made it through that without Ryne. Two years on from a miraculous survival and more recovery than anyone expected him to ever make, the idea of the two of them maybe made more and more sense the more Sean considered it. And he had a good feeling she was probably on the same page. If Derek asked, he’d bet money on the answer being yes.

“I think you should go for it,” he said, trying to stay casual. “You two are in a good place…” he shrugged.

“Yeah,” Derek grinned. “Yeah, we are. I never thought I’d find someone like her. She’s something really special, dawg.” 

Sean couldn’t help rolling his eyes. “You’ve been saying that since before you got the nerve to even ask her out.” He gestured at the ball still resting under Derek’s shoe. “You ever gonna kick that, man?”

“Didn’t realize you were in such a rush to get ya ass beat. Alright.” Derek laughed.  

~

Having the ring — the ring that he’d spent weeks shopping for, just to end up going back to the first one that had caught his attention, which he just knew somehow was right but had moved on from, trying to channel Ryne and consider all the options — made it so much harder to wait for the perfect moment. 

He had almost asked three times this morning alone: first when he woke to find her cheek and hand resting on his chest, hair splayed out around her and a peaceful smile looking back at him; then over breakfast as she, with almost childlike glee, presented him with bacon and eggs that she had proudly cooked, without much burning; and finally not even an hour ago as they’d both dropped the chores they were meant to be doing in order to throw themselves into a dramatic dance and duet (she had really turned his opinion around on musicals, and the song they were singing was even the perfect one to create a Moment). The fact that he’d been able to keep it in, controlling the impulse, felt like as much a testament to his improvement over the last several years as any medical test could be.

He was surprised by how not nervous he was, instead feeling giddy with excitement. He couldn’t wait to see Ryne’s face, that dazzling smile he sometimes thought was reserved exclusively for him or the way her eyes crinkled as the most definite sign she was actually happy. His heart fluttered just imagining it, and he almost let the words tumble right then. Luckily he had a plan, and wouldn’t have to wait much longer.

~

“Are you ready to go?” Ryne asked, wrapping her arms around his middle and resting her chin on his shoulder. He was quite obviously not, still in the middle of washing dishes (somehow she had convinced him to do them, yet another sign of just how much he loved her honestly). “Aunt Patty said dinner at 2:30.”

He reached up, teasingly tapping the end of her nose, leaving suds behind as she pulled away, scrunched up adorably and shaking her head. She stuck her tongue out at him. 

“Ten minutes, I swear,” he said, laughing at her reaction before turning back to the sink.

She sighed in mock-frustration. “Is taking forever your attempt to get me to stop asking you to do chores? Because it’s not going to work.”

“If you keep distracting me, I'm never going to get done.”

“I'm not even doing anything!”

“Yes you are. You're standing there lookin so sexy wit your fine self. How'm I supposed to do anything but look at you?”

“Well, then. If that's your excuse, I'll be in the bedroom and you can tell me when you're ready to leave.”

“Threaten me like that and I'll be wanting to skip dinner and go someplace totally else.” Derek smirked and wagged his eyebrows at her.

Ryne scoffed in answer, looking somehow both amused and annoyed. “You're impossible. I for one am not going to be late because you can’t think with the head on top.” She turned on her heel and he couldn't help but laugh, until he realized she was actually headed for the door.

Immediately he set the sponge down to give chase. “No wait, baby, don't go. I'm sorry. You know I'm just playing. I swear I'm almost done and we can go. We won't be late, I promise.”

She smiled as he caught her around the waist and pulled her in. “You're lucky I love you enough to pretend I believe that.”

~

The family had made a tradition of celebrating the anniversary of that final encounter with Cale. Patty said that it was because everyone had made it through, and they should all be grateful; Katie (who had been deemed an honorary Falco along with her husband Matt) called it Liberation Day. From the outside, given the trauma it had left four of them with - both physically and emotionally - it might have seemed odd and morbid, but to them, that they all even could gather still, was a victory.

Ryne kissed her aunt’s cheek and gave Katie a hug in greeting, while Derek clapped Don on the shoulder and moved to help set out the food that had just finished as they arrived (and she pretended to ignore his little “I told you so” smile). Table prepared, he had a moment to pause, while drinks were being poured and seats hadn't been taken. 

He looked at Ryne, practically glowing, warm and bright and happy, as she laughed at something Patty said. It took his breath away, even more than usual, how beautiful she looked in the casual moments. He swallowed nervously. Something in his gut telling him that now was it. 

Sean seemed to agree, his best friend appearing at his side and discreetly offering him the little box with a raised eyebrow and a reassuring nod. Derek took it in shaking fingers (good shaking for once), not even questioning when his friend managed to get it from his coat pocket, and licked his lips nervously.

Ryne was oblivious to the exchange going on at the other side of the dinner table. To her, it was a normal dinner and a normal day, never once suspecting that Derek had anything going on. So much, that it took Katie trailing off and nodding at something over her shoulder before she noticed him. 

“Wha–” she didn’t finish the word before Derek slowly sank to a knee, smiling at her. 

He cleared his throat and everyone’s attention was on them. The room fell silent, as if they were all holding their breath, and she knew she certainly was, as he held out the little box. Words failed him, so he just kept his grin in place and raised an eyebrow, hoping his face would say it all.

“What no big speech?” Rowen drawled, cutting the tension and shocking him back into words. 

“Nah,” Derek shook his head, “I don’t need one. Which is good. I wouldn’t have one even if there weren’t a hole in my brain anyway. How do you put perfect into words?”

“Derek…” Ryne's heart raced as she stared at her boyfriend and the delicate band of gold and peridot and tiny black pearls sitting cushioned in velvet.

“I love you, so fucking much baby girl. So I gotta ask, Ryne Cassidy, will you spend the rest of your life with me?”

“Oh Derek,” she reached for him, tears welling up in her eyes and cheeks aching from the width of her smile. He let her guide him into a standing position, pressing their foreheads together so that they were looking at each other, the only two people in the world. “I love you.”

“Is that a yes?” his voice had dropped down to a whisper, breath tickling her face. 

She nodded, emotions racing too hard for words, and faintly they heard Rowen making a crack about neither of them knowing how to speak, but to them it was all background noise.

He let out a whoop, picking her up and spinning her around, before setting her back on her feet. She was laughing, and crying, and everyone in the room joined in on their celebration. Patty rushed to get out a bottle of sparkling cider she had been saving for a special occasion, and Sean picked up the box that had been dropped in the excitement, handing it to Derek for a second time. He took it, Ryne’s laughter even harder now, shaking her whole body, as she held out a hand and let him slip the ring onto her finger.

“And you know I was askin you to marry me right? Not just like…keep going like we have been…?”

The others chuckled and he bit his lip, and somehow Ryne smiled even brighter. 

“I did. I do. Absolutely yes.”

“This is the best day of my life,” he told her, leaning in to kiss her.

She sighed, melting into him as their lips pressed together, wrapping an arm around his neck to keep steady.

“Gross!” Rowen called out with an exaggerated gag.

“Ey, shut up kid,” Derek teased, breaking the kiss to swing playfully at the seventeen-year-old, who ducked the gesture and took off.

Ryne laughed, watching her fiancé chase her cousin through the dining and living rooms in the sort of mad dash hijinks that would normally have had Patty banishing them to the yard. Sean came to stand beside her, bumping her shoulder lightly.

“I'm really happy for you,” he said softly, smiling. “Both of you. I couldn't think of two people better suited, or more deserving.”

“Thanks, Sean,” she answered in a matching murmur. “That means the world. But you'd better start thinking fast about who you love more.”

His eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

“You can only be best man for one of us.”

“Oh god, I take everything back!” He laughed. “You can't get married. Just stay engaged forever.”

She gave him a playful shove, almost initiating a second wave as Derek and Rowen were finally settling down again. “It’s too late for that now,” she teased, “you already said you approved.”

[cobaincreates]

smart decisions

warnings: drinking, angst, smut, fingering, nsfw, 18+

count: 10k+

hiiiiiiiii so i’m a horndog & i can’t get enough of rafe cameron (or drew) or college rafe & i also wanna cry over them so here you go. let me know whatcha thinkin’. please i’m begging you. 

also the photo isn’t mine i got it from here!

songs i imagined - this one & this one

— — —

transferring colleges had to have been your smartest decision to date. going from putting your strengths into a place that was not willing to acknowledge them to, now, receiving credit where credit was most deservingly due. your first choice for school had been some place close to home, you figured why not opt for the cheaper option to save yourself, and your parents, a little money. you spent a few months getting into the swing of things, heading to class each day with a fresh mind and hopeful thoughts. it wasn’t until six months in that you realized you deserved so much better, and at a better school.

it took time, figuring out your best bet and where to go and all the finances. you definitely grew impatient a year in, trying to stick it out at home to receive your credits. but once the moment arrived, you packed all your things and moved states away. you loved it; you loved the classes, you loved your friends, you loved your professors. you were completely happy with your choice to go. your parents might not have been, but the weekly calls home for your progress report were substitute enough.

wednesday, 5 p.m.

you scribbled a doodle you had been going over and over, darkening the lines so much you saw it behind your eyelids now. you snapped out of it and looked back at your textbook.

the library was so quiet, you heard pages being turned from every corner, the chewing of gum from a tense jaw, and the soft snores of someone passed out in one of the private cubicles across the way. none of those things distracted you really since you had come to the study session with a couple of your friends, all three of you making a pact to get shit done.

melly was able to listen to music while she studied and was more of a typer as her fingers moved fast along the keys of her laptop. she came dressed in her comfiest clothes, sporting a knit sweater and joggers. lina had snacks across the table to keep her sustained. she was a strong believer that she learned better while being fed. it made you laugh still. she was a writer like you, very organized in her notes with highlighters and different colored pens. she even drew headers for each page for the hell of it. you wondered where she got the drive. then there was you, black ink, the main topic underlined, things to remember written repeatedly. you learned better after writing things down, you couldn’t just read a book and have the information implanted in your brain. as much as you wished it were that easy.

you were studying for an upcoming psychology test, one that you were sure would be a piece of cake given how well you did in the class itself. it was one you didn’t plan on taking, but you needed another course to get enough credits for the year.

lina was munching on some almonds, turning a page in her notebook, and picking up a blue pen. you were in the middle of writing a definition down and filling up the last of the page, your hand starting to cramp with how much pressure you were using. you flexed it once you put your pen down and squeezed an imaginary ball.

both yours and lina’s eyes flicked up to melly across the table who let out a low moan. she was pulling her headphones off and looking in the completely opposite direction of her computer.

“why is he so fine?” she asked, low enough for the two of you to hear.

you looked over your shoulder at the same time lina did and searched in the general area melly was focused on. all you saw was a guy walking through the library, sporting a backpack and a lacrosse sweatshirt, the hood pulled over his head.

“he really knows what he’s doing, huh?” lina said dreamily.

you furrowed your eyebrows as you watched him turn into a row of books and you glanced at melly as you faced the other way, planning on getting back to your work. melly was dazed as she still looked in his direction.

“who is that?” you asked after a moment of both of them still ogling.

lina turned toward you as melly closed her laptop a little to lean over it. “what did you just say?”

you looked between the two identical shocked expressions and laughed helplessly. “who is that?”

“oh, i forgot. you’re still new.” melly nodded in semi-acceptance then became serious. “that’s rafe cameron. he’s on the lacrosse team and we’re kind of obsessed with him.”

“it’s alarming,” lina said. she gave a quick glance over her shoulder then looked back at her notebook. “i love making myself sad over him not noticing me, but it’s fine. what’s even more alarming is how he’s still single.”

“i cannot express to you, y/n, how good,” melly emphasized, squeezing her eyes shut, “he looks with a little sweat.”

“you guys sound like stalkers.” you pointed out, smiling a little at their explanations.

“i’m not denying it. i said it was alarming.” lina shrugged as she looked from her textbook to her writing. “we’ve talked to him a couple of times at some parties, he’s a super nice guy but we just find him attractive. i think if i were a freshman, i’d be pathetically pining after him.”

melly hummed in agreement, her chin now propped in her palm. she wore a doe-like look, gazing between yours and lina’s heads and into the bookshelves. “don’t they have a game tomorrow? we should go.”

“it’s away.” lina said, but you had already lost interest in the topic and started reading a new chapter. you picked your pen back up, the muscles in your hand now relaxed, and the boy in the bookshelves out of your mind.

monday, 9 a.m.

you were going to be late and you hated the thought. there was no way you could miss this test when you had done nothing but study every last page for it. you even lost track of how many pages of notes you wrote for the test alone. it would be such a waste to miss it and it wasn’t worth getting a negative grade.

being late was not at all your fault. you had set your alarm early, eaten breakfast and read a few more chapters to get ahead, and packed your bag up so you’d be ready after a quick shower. turned out that all the showers on your floor were broken, the yellow “do not cross” tape like a bad omen. you started muttering to yourself as you carried along your shower caddy, going down to the next floor and finding a line to wait in. you knew it was probably your best bet instead of racing to another floor to check if there were more lines, plus you didn’t know how much time you had. you probably annoyed some people with the fidgeting, but all you could think about was the test.

it was ridiculous how long the showers took and how you had to leave your hair damp as you ran back up physical stairs. you burst through your door, threw your bathroom things on your bed, grabbed your bag and the few books you couldn’t stuff in. while leaving, the door shutting behind you, you made do with damp hair, twisting it up and out of your face. as you checked the time, you figured out that you had eight minutes exactly to get across campus and in your seat with a writing utensil ready.

even though you were late, you still held doors open for people, and you dodged others walking the opposite direction instead of the other way around. you kept checking the time as if the minutes would stop moving.

just as you were looking into your bag, your legs moving fast and assuredly, you ran right into something hard. you dropped the textbooks that you had been clutching, even with a death grip on them, and your bag slipped from your shoulder. a notebook poked out along with a pen rolling away on the walkway.

“woah,” the hard surface said.

“i’m so sorry, i was not looking.” you said quickly and bent down to get your things. of course, this would happen while you were in a rush. you supposed you were lucky it didn’t involve cars. god, that would’ve been so much worse.

“nah, it’s alright.” they said easily and bent down beside you, retrieving your things.

you scrambled for everything and shoved the notebook back into your bag. you spotted your keychain near their foot, their fingers closing around it before you could reach for it. you finally looked up as they held the key out to you, the ring hanging from their finger.

rafe cameron.

he looked different now that you could see his face better. and also, because he was so close this time. it was odd to know now that he had blue eyes and a light ghosting of stubble along his jaw and cheeks. it felt too personal being this close to someone you only knew the name of.

you felt a little silly for bumping into him, but you didn’t let it show. “thank you,” you said as you took the key from him and stood quickly to walk away. lina and melly surely wouldn’t give this up when you told them.

rafe had watched after you for a moment before turning back to his friend topper, raising his eyebrows in reference to what happened, and continuing their conversation.

you made it to class about three minutes late and sat in your seat, finally taking a breath. you settled in, putting your things at your feet, and digging around for a pen. all thoughts of bumping into rafe cameron left your mind.

8 p.m.

“you what?” melly coughed violently as she composed herself. lina was clutching her stomach, nearly dying of hysterics when the drink came out of melly’s nose a second earlier.

you held your head in your hands and inwardly groaned at having to tell the story. you were out to dinner with the two girls, munching on french fries and milkshakes. it was typical for you three to hang out on mondays since melly usually had a bad case of them each week. you had innocently slipped in that you just so happened to run into rafe cameron this morning and well, you hadn’t expected that to be melly’s reaction.

“i ran into him. i was late this morning and i wasn’t looking.” you could feel the embarrassment settle in as you recounted the minor event, at least to you.

“did he say anything?” her eyes were blown wide as she leaned across the table.

“i didn’t try to have a conversation with him.” you shrugged and picked at the plate of fries at the center of the table. melly gave you a look of mild bewilderment, the shock of it wearing off.

“missed opportunity.” lina joked, taking a long sip of her shake. “i wouldn’t know what to say either if i ran into him.”

you felt your shoulders loosen as the topic was slowly changing. melly laughed at lina’s remark, teasing her that she would’ve frozen up from bumping into anybody. you smiled and were glad that both of them didn’t take the story too seriously.

minutes later you were laughing loudly, head thrown back as melly was telling a story about her family and a public mishap with a tire. it was interesting to you to hear about what it was like growing up in a completely different environment than the one you did. you supposed that’s something you loved about college; getting to meet people from so many other states and cities.

you were smiling to yourself as you dipped a fry into your shake. just as you put it into your mouth and looked across the table at melly, her composure changed.

“oh, fuck.” she whispered and noticeably tried to look away. “don’t look.”

both you and lina turned around to look toward the front door. a dense group of bodies was coming in through the door, the atmosphere’s volume increasing with their chatter. toward the back you recognized rafe cameron. you weren’t sure at all what it was that made your heart clench in your chest.

“i said don’t look!” melly whispered louder. “oh, god. okay. act normal.” melly straightened up, trying not to be obvious with looking in their direction. you laughed and sat back in the seat. lina practically sunk into hers.

you didn’t watch as they approached, but you did look up once rafe entered your peripheral vision. he was with the guy from this morning, even if you hadn’t noticed him before. you just remembered rafe crouched in front of you while someone just as tall stood behind him, waiting. both of them were sporting lacrosse sweatshirts, along with some others in the group.

“hey, rafe.” melly said easily like she hadn’t just been freaking out over him a second ago.

you watched rafe lift his chin, smiling genuinely at her. you didn’t think anything of it when he glanced at you, the recognition so obvious as his face changed. he continued to walk to his table though, eyes steady on you for what felt like too long.

melly turned around and sank over the table, her mouth open in shock. “oh my god,” she said above the surface.

“oh my god,” lina said, turning to you in bafflement. “i feel like i’m in an alternate universe. did that just happen?”

“he just recognized me.” you brushed it off.

“no, y/n, he knew you. that was longer than five seconds.”

“why are you guys so obsessed with him anyways?” you laughed, trying to take the attention off you.

lina shrugged, seeming taken aback with the question. “i don’t really know.”

“because he’s gorgeous, that’s why.” melly intervened, dipping a fry into her shake.

you looked over melly’s shoulder, wondering what it was exactly that was so intriguing about the lacrosse player. you had had your fair share of athletes and could agree on some being drop dead gorgeous. maybe rafe cameron was just a nice guy all around and melly and lina just had pleasant interactions with him. maybe he was the type of college boy that looked out for everyone’s wellbeing and that’s what made your friends obsess over him. it could be a number of things.

thursday, 8 p.m.

you rubbed your eyes, yawning in the middle of it, and lay back on your bed. you had just closed your computer after typing up a 10-page essay. it was nine when you started it this morning. you were just glad your one class of the day was canceled and that you had time to write the paper before next week. plus, there were no classes tomorrow, and you could have a whole day of doing nothing. you were stoked, to say the least.

feeling a vibration beside you, you reached for your phone and opened a text from lina. incoming in 5, it said, followed by a rattling of knocks on your door. you rolled off the bed and shuffled over, finding her and melly with wide smiles. it was infectious as you felt your own smile appearing on your face.

“what are you guys doing here?” you asked curiously, stepping aside to let them in. the door clicked softly shut as you followed melly to your bed where she went to sit. lina leaned against the wall across from you, careful of your roommate’s things.

“we were invited to a party and we were wondering if you wanted to come with.” lina said, sharing a quick look with melly.

you glanced between them, eyes narrowing. “what’s so special about this party?”

“god, how can you even tell that?” melly asked, slightly rolling her eyes.

“you guys have known each other longer than i've known either of you, but you’re easy to read.” you laughed.

“i don’t like that.” melly said quietly to herself.

you grinned at her, noting her curls springing around her face. melly usually had her hair pulled back out of the way and it was very rare to see her with a different hairstyle. there had been some days where she had braids and you enjoyed seeing the change of pace. lina on the other hand always let her hair down. tonight though, she had straightened it and thrown it into a high ponytail. you hadn’t really gone to a lot of parties with the girls, so seeing them all done-up was always fascinating.

“seriously, what’s the deal?” you asked again, looking to lina since she was the one who had proposed the idea.

she shared another look with melly again before finally coming out with it. “it’s at rafe cameron’s apartment.”

you felt that clenching again in your chest, in that same spot from last night. you swallowed, feeling how dry your mouth was in the span of three seconds.

“well, it’s his and topper’s apartment, so not technically just his.” lina said, waving her hand in enunciation. she crossed her arms. “i have this study group with topper and he invited me and mel and anyone else really.”

“come on, it’ll be fun.” melly said, nudging your arm.

you looked at the girl beside you, ready to say no mostly in panic of seeing rafe. you had nothing to worry about or freak out over, but it was a scary thought. so many things happened at parties. so many things could happen.

“okay,” you said easily.

the prior fears dissipated quickly as lina and melly gave a small cheer and encouraged you to get ready, and to take your time. you spent the next ten minutes asking them what you should wear, going through your side of the closet. all three of you agreed on a plaid skirt you had bought a few weeks before on a spontaneous shopping trip. you only wore it once since then and had been meaning to pull it out again. you paired it with a sweater, something easy to keep you warm through the night instead of bringing a jacket along. lina and melly agreed excitedly when you changed and raised your eyebrows, searching for approval.

9 p.m.

holding on tightly to lina’s hand, you laughed hysterically to the point of tears and a clear indicator in the nether region that you had to pee, badly. a connie bailey rae cover was playing from a speaker near you, your laughter probably not as loud as you thought it to be as you calmed down. melly stopped her ridiculous reenactment and pulled an exaggerated disgusted face as she dodged someone trying to dance with her. you shook with laughter and took a long sip of your drink, tilting your head back to finish it in one gulp.

the party had been way more fun than you thought it would be, especially when you walked the four blocks to get there. lucky for you, you had been smart and worn flat boots. the apartment was a good size for the event and had plenty of space to gather, enough left over for those that wanted a break from either dancing or just to relax. some people you didn’t recognize had the large tv on, a video game on the bright screen. there was plenty of shouting coming from their general direction, a wave of arms and pointing of rigid fingers.

you had seen rafe in passing, but never made the initial eye contact as if to let each other know that you were near. stepping into the apartment and being greeted with his friend topper, you felt like you were intruding or trespassing by being in rafe’s space. you didn’t know him, or topper for that matter, and it felt odd to you to be in their physical home.

“where’s the bathroom?” you asked lina as melly went to get more snacks.

lina stood up on her toes and pointed at a closed door. “i'm pretty positive it’s over there.”

you gave her a nod and walked in the direction she pointed you in, finding a couple people waiting against the wall. you took a place there and acted as a fly on the wall for a total of five minutes since the line went fast. once inside, you took a deep breath, feeling refreshed at the open window and the cool air coming in.

you dried your hands and placed the towel back where it was on the counter and opened the door. the next person waiting rushed in rather quickly, making you stumble against the doorway. you laughed to yourself and felt the rush of sudden wind as the door slammed.

excusing yourself past a small group, you headed toward the refreshments. you were already thirsty after having emptied your bladder seconds before, but you were aware it was just the addictive alcohol buzzing through your system. it was crowded closer to the drinks, rightfully so, and it only took one person to move for you to see rafe acting as a stand-in bartender.

part of you wanted to run right back out of the kitchen and find lina and melly, but the other part of you wanted to give a swift kick to your rear. you chose the latter and walked over to where he was at the counter. he was in the middle of pouring someone else’s drink and you stood on his other side, taking in his appearance while you still could. the blue hat on his head read “obx”, turned backwards. he wore an off-white t-shirt, the graphic design on the back drawing you in. you were too busy staring at his shoulders molded with the fabric to realize he had turned around and you were now staring at his chest. you blinked up at his face, smiling lightly.

“hi.” he said, a small lilt to his voice as he recognized you once again.

“hi.”

“can i get you something?” he asked, and you felt your shoulders falter a little, thinking that was all he was going to say to you. stick to his image of drink tender and have you go on your way. but his body told you differently as he turned fully to face you.

“um, i can get it.” you said, the instant flight taking effect at the very prospect of being shot down.

rafe nodded and stepped out of the way, moving further into the corner of the counter. you smiled at him and poured your own drink, mixing up your favorite. rafe still stood there and you could feel the strong vice his eyes had on you. it made you a little self-conscious, but you relaxed with a deep breath.

“i never got your name.” rafe said just as you took a sip and turned to leave the kitchen. “you know, from the other day.”

“that’s because i was too busy bumping into you.” you let out a small laugh and stepped closer to him, out of the way if someone wanted a drink. you turned your back to the fridge and tried to find a spot to lean on as rafe looked down at you, a smile playing at his lips. “i am sorry about that again. i was in a rush for a class.”

“it’s no problem. i’m just glad you’re okay, we hit pretty hard.”

“y/n.” you said and held out a hand respectfully.

“rafe,” he slipped his hand into yours, warm and strong, and smiled widely.

“i think i’ve heard your name only a million times in the past week.” you admitted, knowing that lina and melly would kill for brownie points. “my friends are a bit obsessed with you and fully willing to educate the newbie.”

“obsessed, huh? lina and mel, right?”

you nodded and took another sip. rafe reached on the counter and grabbed a handful of pretzels. he held some out to you. “they’re nice girls,” rafe said easily. “i’ve hung out with them a couple times, but i didn’t know they were obsessed.” he laughed to himself.

you munched on a pretzel and froze at an idea. “you’re not going to tell them i told you, are you?”

“not unless you want me to.”

you stared at him for a bit longer than you planned, then let out a breath and took another pretzel from his hand. it was odd to be sharing food with him when just the other day you felt like your heart was tearing in your chest. at the moment, you could only feel a dull ache.

“so, how do you like it?” rafe asked.

“like what?”

“campus, the college.”

you nodded and swallowed some of your drink to wash the pretzels down. “things have been really great. i enjoy it here. it’s an immense difference than my first college back home, so i’m happy.”

rafe smiled. “and the party?”

you followed his nod to the people around you, glancing to your original spot where you left lina. you didn’t see her anywhere until some people moved and you found her and melly sat on the couch. they were playing the video game with a whole mess of guys. you grinned.

“the party is great.” you commended, looking back at him. he had finished the rest of the pretzels in his hand.

“good.” he nodded. “i always get nervous when top and i invite people over. we’ve done it a bunch of times, but there’s always the possibility of something going wrong.”

“well, you’re doing great. both of you. hopefully, nothing horrible happens.”

11 p.m.

you would be lying if you said that your conversation with rafe from hours ago wasn’t still running through your head. it was difficult not to think about it when you kept seeing him more often throughout the party. most of the time you’d catch his eye, or vice versa, and instantly smile. you’d then recall the sound of his laugh and would even hear it from feet away. the clenching in your chest was now accompanied by a swirling in your stomach.

you were pacing yourself with your drinks, but by now you were on your fifth of the night. you were completely aware of everything around you and you were enjoying the ongoing buzz. lina and melly were a bit more inebriated than you were, which only added to the fun.

the two girls in front of you were swaying to a song together, not even close to being slow tempo. it was very upbeat, the bass pumping through the walls. the front door to the apartment was now open since it had begun to get warmer with the more and more people that were joining. a few windows were thrown open as well.

“you remember how in freshman year you fell down that flight of stairs and twisted your ankle and practically bashed your head in and then your mom yelled at you and then your sister called to tell you she was pregnant and then your dad! oh my god, and then your dad was like ‘hey i’m thinking of leaving your mom so uh, yeah’ and then your mom was so pissed but then she was fine because she found a total hunk of a man to replace your dad like that,” melly snapped her fingers as your body started to shake with laughter. lina was laughing too, not at all bothered with a quick recap of her, very shitty, first year.

“yes, thank you for reminding me mel. i love when we have tantalizing conversation like this.” lina leaned her head against the others’.

mel giggled, a few hiccups escaping. “i think i need to pee.”

“god, you’re like a peeing machine.” lina sighed and tightened her arm around melly.

“that’s what drinking will do to you.”

lina rolled her eyes and looked at you as she brought melly to the bathroom. you asked quickly if she needed help, but she shook her head and promised they’d be back soon. you watched them go then turned back to the party, turning too fast and not feeling the presence behind you in the moment. a cool liquid pooled over and down your chest, soaking the fabric of your sweater. you gasped at the contact, your mouth dropping open and looking down at the dark stain.

“i— “ you looked up to tell the person it was fine before an apology came out, finding that off-white t-shirt on a very familiar blue-eyed person. “we have to stop meeting like this.”

rafe looked horrified at having spilled his drink all over your sweater, his eyes wide as they stared at your chest.

“that’s the most cliché thing to say.” you said, laughing lightly to ease the tension so obvious in his features.

he let out a laugh too. “you can borrow something of mine. come on,” he held out his hand and you took it willingly, realizing some people were staring at the accident way too curiously. you let rafe lead you up the stairs, the complete darkness on the landing causing you to focus solely on his hand in yours.

rafe opened a door and flipped a light on, your eyes adjusting to the brightness. he led you further in and closed the door behind you before rushing to his dresser, a whole display of cologne bottles on top. as he rummaged through the drawers, you stood just in front of the door, a little timid to step further in. you were holding your sweater away from your chest, already feeling the stickiness of liquid on your skin.

“how’s this one?” he asked, holding out a simple white one.

“you don’t have to give me a shirt.”

“it’s the least i can do. the bathroom is right there.” he handed the shirt to you and nodded just behind your shoulder. you thanked him and went in, closing the door with a click. you pulled the sweater off and dampened a washcloth, wiping the dried drink from your skin. pulling the shirt on, you relished in how soft it was and styled the piece of fabric so it looked better with your skirt.

rafe was sitting on a couch next to his bed, more like a futon, his hands in his pockets and hat off his head. he looked up as you came out, straightening his posture and looking you up and down.

“i’m sorry.” he smiled guiltily.

you smiled and walked over, moving around the small circular coffee table and sitting next to him. “guess it was payback for the other day,” you teased as you folded your sweater and set it next to you.

rafe rolled his eyes with a knowing smile. you glanced at him as you leaned back, feeling the softness and rigidness of the futon. “you look good in my shirt.”

“i feel better in a less damp one.” you said, easing the fluttering in your stomach. your chest clenched again as you crossed your legs.

glancing around rafe’s room, you admired the movie posters on the walls and the multiple lacrosse paraphernalia. one of his jerseys lay crumpled at the end of his bed, the comforter pulled over the pillows to look made. it was better than you did with your bed, you were pretty sure yours was unmade and messy.

it was a decent sized room, plus the bathroom was nice to have. you’d kill for your own bathroom again. it would be nice not to wait in a line. you told yourself that you just had to figure out an earlier schedule so you could beat the crowd.

after a once-over of rafe’s room, you looked over at him to find him already looking at you. he was fully analyzing your face, you could see his eyes flickering to different parts.

you swallowed and licked your lips. “what?”

“nothing.” he said quickly and sighed, laying his head back on the couch.

you squinted at him, now tracing over his features. he looked nervous from what you could tell, his hands moving in his pockets. you stared at his chest moving up and down slowly, the intake of breath coming as it grew bigger. his adam’s apple protruded, bobbing slightly as he swallowed. your chest clenched once again as you looked at his face, watching him look up at the ceiling. he really was handsome. you shifted in your seat, switching your leg over the other.

“that look wasn’t nothing.” you commented, breathing in.

“what look?” he turned his head toward you, eyebrows slightly pushing together. you watched every change in his face, from his eyebrows to his eyes blinking then to his tongue peeking out to lick his lips.

“the look of ‘i want to eat you up’.”

he laughed, the couch shaking with him. “what does that entail?”

“major gazing and bedroom eyes.”

“bedroom eyes, huh?” he hummed and lifted his head. his lips tugged at a smirk.

“am i imagining things?” you asked seriously, slightly doubting if you made the right call. maybe he wasn’t thinking what you thought he had been. maybe you were imagining things.

rafe didn’t answer, instead looking down at the floor. the smirk alone told you that you had been right. his hands flexed in his pockets, hard for you to miss. a few silent minutes passed, the both of you listening to the party still going on downstairs.

“if you want to kiss me, all you have to do is ask.” you said quietly. after a moment you figured he hadn’t heard you, that he had lost himself in staring at the carpet.

“can i?”

“yes,” you nodded.

rafe sat up and met your eyes, moving closer until his thigh was touching yours. you shifted your upper half closer to him, feeling a wave of shivers run through you the second his hand touched your cheek. you instinctively pressed your legs tighter together as your heartbeat picked up and rafe lowered over you, licking his lips once more. they were soft and firm, just as they needed to be. he tilted your chin up, his thumb brushing just beside your mouth as you kissed.

seconds later, you brought your own hands to his face. you were eager to touch him, to feel the solidness of him against you. it was mostly a reassurance that this was in fact happening and that you weren’t dreaming. you pushed a hand into his hair just behind his ear and mirrored the last few pecks he was leaving you before he fully pulled away. you felt a pinch of disappointment, the small taste for him now growing bigger. you had to stop your hands from pulling him back.

he pulled away only a little and you opened your eyes to see him still so close and looking over your face. your breaths mingled together.

“what?” you huffed, letting your head fall back for a second in slight irritation. you just wanted to kiss him again. you let your hand slide down from his hair, resting near his shoulder. you wanted to squeeze the muscle under your hand.

“nothing.” he said again, eyes flickering down to your lips once more. he smiled, holding himself up on the back of the couch. his thumb brushed the same spot on your cheek. “don’t tell anyone, but i’ve been imagining this since you showed up tonight.”

you returned your hand to his hair, slightly scratching with a smile. “i knew you spilled your drink on purpose.”

rafe grinned widely and moved back into you. this kiss was deeper, your lips opening for him when you felt his tongue. his hand left your cheek and appeared on your hip, ever so slightly pushing your shirt up so he could touch your skin at your waist. you smiled against him as you felt his hand slowly creep up the shirt. you were reminded again that it was his and you pulled him closer by the back of the neck, hearing a soft moan leave his lips. your thighs squeezed, your excitement starting to rise.

“you just gave it to me and now you want to take it off?” you teased as rafe’s hand covered one of your breasts, the cool air of the room reaching your skin. rafe smiled and kissed you again.

his hand disappeared, apparently changing his mind, and reappeared on your thigh. you breathed in sharply at the warmth coming from his palm, resting just above your knee. your brain started to spaz for a moment and you imagined a bunch of smaller yous, running in circles like their heads were cut off.

rafe’s hand stayed steady as you uncrossed your legs, a silent invitation. he moved to kiss the corner of your mouth. “is this okay?”

the fact that he was pulling away multiple times to check in on you had to be evidence enough of why lina and melly liked him so much. you hadn’t met many guys that were so in tune with consent or caring about what you wanted. it turned you on seeing it coming from him.

“yes.” you nodded as you touched his forearm, not wanting to seem too eager.

you anticipated his hand moving and when it did, you held back the moan. you were much too eager for teasing and he was showing no signs of not giving you want you wanted. as he got closer to you, you placed your hand over his. he pulled you back for a kiss and you decided to focus on that for a moment to lessen your nerves.

his touch was soft once he met your underwear. his fingers pressed over you and you shivered from how wet you had become because of him. he hummed into your mouth, only adding to the pooling between your legs. his hand reached back and pushed your skirt further up so he could get to you more easily.

you let out a satisfied sigh against his lips as he ran a finger through your folds, collecting your wetness. your underwear had been pushed to the side, out of the way, finally feeling his touch.

“are you this wet for me?” he asked. you nodded against his forehead and pulled him back, letting out a moan as he brushed over your clit. it was only for a second, but you were about ready to burst.

you opened your legs wider for rafe, his fingers moving over you and exploring the new area. you gripped his hand to silently ask him for more along with an impatient moan. you wanted his fingers so badly in places you weren’t ready to admit yet. he wanted the opposite.

“talk to me.” he said, nudging the side of your face with his nose, planting a kiss to your jaw. you opened your eyes that had fallen shut, your breath getting heavier. your chest felt like it was going to cave in.

“please,” you said, adjusting your hips. “please, touch me.”

“i am.” he pulled away, a menacing smirk on his face just to gauge your reaction.

you huffed out and pulled his hand closer. “you know what i mean, rafe.”

“i like when you say my name.” he pressed a kiss to your lips sweetly.

“i might like when you touch me, so get on with it already.”

rafe laughed huskily, his breath blowing over your face. “you want my fingers?”

you wanted to roll your eyes at how badly he wanted you to beg, but you wanted his fingers more. “yes, please. i want your fingers. give me something.”

you let go of his hand as he finally pushed a finger into you. you adjusted around him for a moment and felt the need to close your legs to keep him there. he pulled your lips back to his, his tongue quick to lick into you. you held his face again as his finger started to move inside of you.

“you want another, pretty girl?” he asked after a few moments passed. you nodded again, breathing hoarsely, too intoxicated in him to speak. a second finger pushed into you then, stretching you ever so slightly. you sighed, letting your head fall back to the couch.

“you’re so wet.” he said as he moved his fingers, delighting in the sounds he was making with you in the palm of his hand. “you’re taking my fingers so well, y/n. do they feel good?”

you moaned as he said your name for the first time. it was something you didn’t think you’d like so much, but with the current situation, it was wonderful.

rafe’s lips appeared on your neck. you held the back of his head as he pressed a few kisses then closed his lips over a spot closer to your collarbone. if your breath had been short then, it was even shorter now as he worked to leave a mark on you. with all the attention you were getting, it only brought you closer to your release, and you started to move your hips. he freed your skin, startled at your movements, then amazed as he watched you chase his fingers. the spot he left throbbed now, all your blood rushing to two places at once.

“are you going to come?” he asked as you heard the start of song you had been replaying for the past few weeks. it was muffled and you could barely hear the words, but you knew it by heart.

“yes, fuck.” you looked up at him, taking in the sight. he was breathing over you, his eyes never straying too far from yours as your mouth opened in pleasure. “rafe, make me come.”

you squeezed your eyes shut as he kissed you hard, breathing deeply into your mouth. he reached his thumb to your clit and began to draw circles at a normal pace with his fingers. your stomach started to twist, the familiar feeling forming fast as he picked up the pace. he could tell you were close by the sheer dig of your fingertips on the back of his neck. it only edged him on more to bring you to your climax.

“come on my fingers.” he said, eyes half closed as he looked at you, lips brushing over yours as he spoke. you whimpered and felt your hips twitch before stilling completely, trapping rafe’s hand between your legs, as you came undone. his thumb continued to move to help you through it. your jaw went slack, eyes rolling under your eyelids, as you moaned loudly. you felt an overwhelming sense of content, the adrenaline rush coming and going quickly.

your blood pumped in your ears and it took you a few moments to register rafe giving you subtle kisses all over the underside of your jaw. you breathed in shakily and let your head fall back on the couch, your knees separating. rafe took his hand away and you winced as he did. you already missed the contact.

the moment was completely ruined as his name was called up the stairs. rafe’s lips disappeared from you as he looked toward the door. you didn’t know what came over you as you pulled your skirt down over your thighs, the footsteps heavy outside his door before a couple of his friends burst in.

“guys, come on. get the fuck out!” he shouted in annoyance, sitting up completely, his leg still touching yours.

“woah, sorry.” they said as they took in your presence. you shifted and knew that they could probably tell what you and rafe had been doing. they evidently didn’t care as they went into a whole spiel of something that had taken place downstairs. rafe tried to stop them and their alcohol-induced exuberance.

he looked at you over his shoulder, touching you lightly on the knee. “i'm sorry.” he said, his friends not hearing as they talked to one another. “i'll see you downstairs?”

part of you felt completely stupid when he said it, like everything that had happened moments ago was just an imagination. you felt your shoulders slump, but you nodded and got up anyways. the door was quick to close behind you and you were left in the dark landing, leaning against the wall to catch your breath. you smoothed your hair, took a deep breath, and fixed your underwear and skirt again.

your eyes adjusted gradually as you went down the stairs back into the swing of things. you swallowed, your mouth still dry post-climax. you went into the kitchen and filled up a cup with water, downing it slowly and stepping out of the way of some people. you couldn’t help but feel drained as you watched the people around you, laughing, dancing, and drinking. you had just spent the last 30 minutes in rafe cameron’s room and now you didn’t know what to do with yourself.

“y/n!” you looked up at melly coming toward you, her makeup slightly smudged, but that didn’t change how great she looked. “there you are!”

you gave her an assured smile and finished the water in your cup. “hey.” you tried not to let anything show.

“lina and i are ready to go if you want to come with. i think we’re going to get some food somewhere in town. i was thinking curly fries or a veggie burger. lina is dying for— wait, where did you go? we looked everywhere.” her expression suddenly changed to one of concern as she stepped closer to you.

“i— uh, well clearly not everywhere.” you said shamelessly, feeling your neck grow warm.

melly opened her mouth to say something then stopped. “oh my god, why are you so flushed? what happened to your sweater?” she looked at the shirt, her eyes catching on something near your collarbone. her eyes went wide as you tried to hide the mark. “oh my god!”

monday, 4 p.m.

“i was thinking that it could go more like this,” your friend said as she pressed a few buttons on her laptop. a new beat started from the computer, the screen following along with the track. you bobbed your head along with the beat.

the campus coffeeshop was somewhere you liked to go, mostly to meet your friends, but you also enjoyed the coffee. sometimes before class you’d make it just in time to get an extra scone before they were all gone. it was a cozy place too, filled with older antiques and an endless display of guitars on every wall. sometimes they’d have an open mic for students, letting anyone with any sort of musical or comical talent perform. most of the acts were later in the week though so no one had to worry about coursework.

after your classes today, you had met up with a friend you hadn’t seen in a while. she was eager to show you what she had been working on for her musical composition classes and you had expressed that you were willing to listen.

the past weekend had been spent mulling over a certain party and a certain someone you couldn’t seem to forget. not that you tried to, to be fair. you’d hadn’t seen him since, which was nothing new given the amount of times you had encountered the boy since that day on campus or seen him for the first time in the library. you didn’t find things weird, but things were left upspoken and it had been bothering you. you knew that melly or lina could’ve easily gotten his number for you, had you asked, but you couldn’t bring yourself to, nor did you know what you would say. all you could do was hope that he was doing well and maybe, perhaps, thinking of you too.

it was inevitable to escape having to talk about what happened in rafe’s room with melly and lina. you weren’t willing to share all of the details right down to what he smelled like, but you didn’t deny that nothing occurred. they seemed satisfied when you recounted having to change your sweater and rafe being kind enough to offer you one of his shirts.

speaking of the shirt, you had gone to your dorm that night and taken it off, seeing that “cameron” was written on the back, along with a large number. no doubt it was for lacrosse. the prospect of it made you shiver before folding it up to leave on your desk. you hadn’t touched it since.

“christ, i've got a meeting with my advisor soon.” your friend said, quickly exiting the program on her screen and closing her computer. “thank you again so much for listening. i can’t express how relieving it is to have someone do this.”

you waved her off with a sweet smile and packed up your own things. “i'm always around if you need a first-time listener.”

both of you stood and pushed the metal chairs in. you followed her to the exit, listening to her as she explained the reasoning for her upcoming meeting. both doors opened, the one from her pushing and the other from rafe coming in. you looked up as he met your eyes, and you couldn’t deny how good it was to see him.

“hey,” he smiled at you as all three of you paused.

before you could say anything, the words sticking to your tongue, you looked back to your friend. she was looking between the both of you, unsure of what was going on. you swallowed and acknowledged her. “i’ll see you later?”

a small smile came onto her face as she looked at rafe then back to you and nodded. the door closed softly behind her. you looked back at rafe as you felt his hand ghosting over your forearm.

“hi,” you said finally.

“it’s good to see you. come up with me?” he gestured to the register and you nodded, letting him take your hand. you didn’t think too much of it as you stood alongside him as he ordered. when the cashier asked if there would be anything else, rafe looked at you expectantly. you blanked for a second, remembering that you didn’t get a drink earlier when you first arrived. you had immediately gone for a sandwich, satisfied that that would be your dinner.

rafe pulled out his wallet and paid for the two drinks. he then led you toward the pick-up counter and faced you with a soft smile. “how have you been?”

“okay,” you breathed in deeply. you weren’t exactly sure how to answer. were you supposed to tell him how freaked out you had been? no, you decided, best not to. “the weekend was busy.”

“mine too. i've got practice tonight so i thought i’d stop by for some energy. i’m glad i ran into you.”

you refrained from asking him if he was serious. you could see on his face that he was with the way he looked at you. “rafe—”

before you could say much of anything else, rafe’s hands appeared on your cheeks and his lips pressed to yours. you kissed him back just as gently even though you wanted to do more now that you felt him again. he pulled away as his order was called, turning to thank the barista as he took the two cups.

“come to my place to study? after practice, i mean.” he said as he held your cup out to you. you looked at it then back up at his questioning eyes, a sliver of hope in them. you pushed down the question at the tip of your tongue and accepted the coffee.

“we’re just studying?”

rafe beamed and nodded. “i have a huge test tomorrow that i can’t fail, so yes.”

7 p.m.

before parting ways with rafe earlier he had finally taken your phone and put his number in it, but not before taking an odd photo of himself. it made you laugh watching it happen though. he promised that he would be done with practice around now and you left your dorm a little earlier than you planned to. it was out of pure thrill really.

knocking on the front door, you waited patiently for it to be answered. you shifted the books in your arms as you heard soft footsteps behind the door. rafe opened it, standing in loose-fitting clothes with damp hair. he smiled instantly and welcomed you in.

it was a drastic difference compared to the party. the house was eerily quiet, so quiet you could hear a pin drop. rafe turned to you from the door.

“how many books did you bring?” he asked seriously, glancing at them against your chest.

“just two,” you said defensively only until you saw the grin. you rolled your eyes and turned away from him to kick your shoes off.

he was chuckling to himself as he went into the kitchen and pulled out snacks to have. “do you want anything to drink?”

“water would be great.”

“smart choice. less sticky.” he said, his back to you, but you could hear the satisfied tone of his voice at his remark.

once he gathered drinks and a plate of snacks, he led you upstairs. it was brighter this time with his door already open and lights already on. you glanced at the other closed one down the short hall, finding the sliver underneath completely dark. maybe topper wasn’t home.

“how was practice?” you asked, setting your things down. he placed the plate on the coffee table and took a seat on the floor. you brushed your hair away from your face and sat down beside him.

“good. just ran some drills, normal practice stuff.” he shrugged, munching on a chip.

“is topper not home?” you set your books on the table and opened them up to where you had marked. rafe moved to grab his things from his bag sitting on the couch. he copied your actions and pulled out a pencil and a notebook.

“no, he went out with some of the guys for food.” he said easily, opening to a blank page. you watched curiously as he wrote down the topic he was studying for.

both of you fell into a silence as you started to read from your books. you were worried about it being a strange silence, knowing what happened the last time you were in this room. it was fairly difficult to push it out of your mind and to focus when rafe was right next to you, so close, along with the thoughts and memory of his touch. you pushed everything out of your head and concentrated back on the page you were reading from.

it wasn’t long when rafe’s hand appeared on your bent leg. they were crossed under you and he had placed his hand like it belonged over the side of your knee. you looked at him in your peripheral but didn’t see him look up once to acknowledge that he had in fact done that. instead you let it happen, ignoring the way it warmed up your skin. you swallowed in anticipation of him interrupting your studying session to turn it into a quick make out session, but the longer the minutes passed the longer his hand stayed where it was. after a while, you forgot about it.

if you had taken one look at rafe, with no prior knowledge of him or of the way his hands felt on you, you would have never guessed that he becomes so engrossed in studying. for the whole two hours that you both spent together with your noses in textbooks, he hadn’t once started a conversation. he kept at reading and writing, jotting things down in his notebook, while you held your head above your own book and soaked up every last word. it was comforting knowing that. the plate had even emptied, mostly due to rafe’s insatiable appetite after practice. you weren’t that hungry from your sandwich earlier.

“okay, that’s it.” rafe said abruptly, causing you to look up as his hand left your knee. “my eyes are going to bleed if i read anymore.”

you laughed lightly and looked back at your book. “are you sure you studied enough?”

“i wrote a whole ten pages worth of notes.” he flipped through them, the pages brushing together.

you hummed, still engrossed in your text. rafe shuffled next to you, dropping his notebook over the open pages along with his pencil. he let out a long sigh which turned into a yawn.

“are you done?” he asked innocently, his head appearing on your shoulder.

you glanced at him and shrugged him off with a smile. “maybe.”

“come on,” he groaned and reached for your textbook. you automatically smacked his hand away. he laughed and quickly flipped it closed and took ahold of your chin to face him.

“that was a dick move.” you said, punching him softly on the arm.

“pay attention to me.” he whined, letting go of your chin only to touch your cheek.

you eyed him as he came closer, finally kissing you when you didn’t punch him again or push him away. you kissed him back as best you could with the speculation seeping into your brain then. rafe seemed to be able to tell.

“what is it?” he asked when he pulled away, running his thumb lightly along your cheekbone. it was reassuring almost.

you looked at him, trying to think of the best way to phrase it. you also thought about how badly it could go given the answer you were dreading. “i'm just— it’s nothing.” you shook your head quickly and leaned in to distract him with another kiss.

he reciprocated for only a moment. “what is it? you can tell me.”

“i guess i'm just wondering what we’re doing.” you rolled your shoulder as if you had a knot, pulling away from rafe in case he didn’t want to touch you. his hand fell from your face and he leaned his side against the couch.

“what do you want to do?”

you gave him a serious glare. “don’t make this a game, rafe. i'm just…wondering what your intentions are.”

rafe adjusted his posture and sat up straighter, all his attention on you. his eyebrows creased and you bit the inside of your lip self-consciously, knowing this wasn’t going to go how you wanted it.

“well, i'm enjoying spending time with you.”

“studying?” you asked with a monotone.

rafe glanced away from you as if he were wondering if he said the wrong thing. “yeah. is that so hard to believe?”

you wanted to huff again, but you held the breath in. your shoulders started to tense as you became frustrated. not because of him, mostly because of yourself for not being able to communicate. you felt stupid for asking it, but you did. “do you like kissing me?”

“of course i do.”

“is that all you want to do?” you finally asked, quickly looking away from him. you reached toward your textbook, fiddling with the pages.

“no,” rafe said. “i want to get to know you.”

it was hard for you not to roll your eyes. rafe noticed and a second later his hand touched your shoulder, gently shaking it.

“i'm serious. hey, look at me.” he pleaded, and you did. “i want to get to know you, but only if you’ll let me. i know the other night was weird and i don’t know— spontaneous, but i enjoyed it and i enjoy being around you. you’re not the only one who’s been thinking about it.”

“i’ve probably been thinking about it more than you.” you chided in a quiet voice, trying to tease him. you were pleased by the answer he gave you and you felt a little silly for being so stubborn at first.

rafe smiled slightly, eyes soft. “let’s just keep doing what we’re doing and see where it goes, okay?”

you took a deep breath in, pushing your book away and nodding. “okay.”

rafe’s hand rubbed your shoulder comfortingly before he pulled you in for an awkwardly placed hug. the side of your body fell into his chest, but he hugged you, nonetheless, pressing a quick kiss to the crown of your head. you turned into him and smiled widely, your cheeks strained to hold it, and hugged him around the shoulders.

all the time spent worrying about whether he reciprocated your feelings or thoughts were so obviously wasted as you spent the rest of the night together. you took it slow, never straying from innocent kisses as you curled up together to watch a movie. you couldn’t help grinning multiple times throughout the night, knowing that things wouldn’t be difficult like you thought. it was easy when you expressed yourself and talked things over, even mentioning small things made a difference. maybe this would turn out to be another smart decision. you had a feeling there were plenty of possibilities with rafe cameron, but only time would tell.

[shoichee]

Rose-Tinted

Craving for angst with kise please!! Like both are afraid to act on their feelings which ends up hurting the both of them unconsciously. Idk, maybe kise is trying to “test” the girl, but went a bit too far i guess. Whatever floats your boat!! I just want angst but maybe hopefully still HEA in the end (or whichever your muse takes you) ;-; thank youu ❤️

Kise x Reader

Word Count: 6975

Note: oh my GOD, HELP THIS WAS 17 PAGES ON MY GOOGLE DOC I COULDNT STOP MYSELF………. angst, happy ending, fake dating!au, mean old kise ….. girl idk WHAT I WROTE I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT ????? reader POV first half and kise POV second half~

@knb-kreations

»»—————　☼　—————««

He holds you so gently, the touch so feather-light as he cradles your head and dips his own head in for a soft peck. The warmth of his lips makes you feel things you shouldn’t feel, things that you still chased for more in a never-ending cycle. You hold onto his hands thumbing your temples to try to anchor yourself further into the bliss, but it ends all too soon when he separates from you and gives you a radiant smile.

You were rudely pulled out of your rose-tinted trance when you heard gasps and chatter amongst the gawking students nearby, particularly Kise’s fans. He doesn’t pay any mind to their reactions and turns his friendly demeanor towards them.

“So you see everyone,” he cheerfully says. “I’m sorry I can’t accept any of your affections, as much as it flatters me so… after all, I have my dear (y/n)-cchi by my side!”

Groans and cries rung throughout the campus as most wail about missing out the opportunity to be Kise’s romantic partner, but before you can listen to their laments, Kise hurriedly tugs you away to the privacy of the back of a building nearby, away from prying eyes and ears. He drops your wrist just as fast and yawns with a stretch.

“What time should we meet up tomorrow?” he casually says, taking out his phone from his pocket.

“Huh?”

“Well, we can’t exactly sell our image of us being a couple unless we walk to and from school together consistently, right (y/n)?”

The rose-tinted lenses on your self-indulgent fantasy shatters to the ground instantly. You gulp, the swallowed spit hitting down to your stomach in heavy dread, where it was previously occupied by fluttering butterflies just moments prior.

This isn’t real.

“Ah… um,” you hesitated, thinking of a reasonable time, so you can wake up and get ready accordingly. “How about this time…”

“Yeah, that sounds good,” he replies, shutting off his phone before he walks a few steps away from you but then stopping. “Huh, uh… should I walk you home first? There might be some nosy people around, and we might as well get some practice in as an official couple.”

“W-Why don’t we start tomorrow morning instead?” you suggest. “A lot’s happened today, and well, I wanna have some time to myself.” Kise impassively stares at you for a couple of seconds before he forms a grin.

“Ah ha, well then, (y/n)-cchi,” he shouts jovially, making sure that his voice rang throughout the area for anyone nearby to hear. “I’ll be waiting for you tomorrow morning, my love!”

“Y-Yeah…” you mumbled, your hand held up in a half-hearted wave. “See you…”

With that parting, you turned to the opposite direction to exit through the side gates to get to your home. Your mind scrambles to recall the impulsive decisions you decided to take on a whim today. The grip on your bag tightens as you finally realized what sort of situation you got yourself into.

You like Kise, plain and simple. You’ve always gazed longingly at him whenever his presence entered within your line of vision. You couldn’t even fault his fans for being so whipped for the basketball player in the first place, not when you felt like you were more enthralled by him than anyone else. So what does a love-stricken fool like you do when the source of attraction directly asks you to partake in a “relationship?” You immediately accept his conditional proposal on auto-pilot before he barely finishes his sentence.

It felt so wrong, yet so right. How can you hate this arrangement when you enjoyed that first kiss you shared with Kise earlier? But how can you love this arrangement when you knew Kise only kissed you to drive everyone off? You stopped on the sidewalk and heaved a huge exhale, and you continued to walk again, the action not even remotely able to clear your head. Your mind continues to swirl and race.

You agreed to this. He even laid out his intentions very clearly to you, and he was more than ready to leave you alone if you didn’t consent to this. But stupid, desperate you did. You were ashamed to feel even a shred of flattery when he told you that you were the only one he can ask to drive off his fans in this only effective method: a relationship.

“Why me?” you said, looking up at his casual posture. “Don’t you have someone you like to ask to be in a relationship? I’m sure they’d be more than happy to accept you…”

“Well,” he mumbled. “I don’t really have someone in mind… you’re kinda the only one who doesn’t drool over me whenever I’m near, and I just ought to ask for your help.”

“W-Well,” you slightly stammered. “I’m okay with helping you, right, so…”

“This isn’t something to accept so readily, you know,” he said, raising a brow. “I know this is super sudden, and it wouldn’t be fair for me to force an answer out of you right at this moment. Besides, I don’t think there’s any incentive for you to be in this either? It’s okay if you don’t want to.”

“N-No!” you interrupted, but you coughed to regain your composure. “I mean, I do have something in this… maybe if I got with you, people would stop trying to harass and tease me if I had someone like you by my side.” That was a half-truth, but you knew there was no way you could reveal your crush to him… not when he believed you were “different” from the others. But can anyone blame you for sticking up for Kise when someone was talking about him like a piece of meat rather than a normal person? “Besides, for you to get to this point, things must’ve gotten too chaotic to simply tell them to stop, right?”

“Huh… is that so,” he said, stretching his neck, but you didn’t know whether or not he intentionally ignored your last question. “Well, if you’re fine with this, I’m letting you know now that we’ll be doing actual couple stuff, like…” He pauses for a second to gauge your reaction. “Hugging, hand-holding… probably kissing too…”

“Y-Yeah,” you nodded. “That’s fine with me! And we’ll have a code word in case either of us overstep our boundaries in any way… maybe…”

“Unagi,” he said.

“Huh? Why?”

“Because they’re the bane of evil…”

“It’s just a dish, but…” you laughed, giddy at how he already showed a different side to you apart from his cool persona. “Alright, let’s go with that.”

How long were you able to keep this up? You pat yourself on the cheeks to dismiss the rest of your fantasies. If you keep this up, Kise will soon notice how you actually were head-over-heels for him all this time, and surely you’ll lose any future chance with him. Besides, maybe you can use this unique arrangement to learn about Kise and his hobbies other than basketball. Yes, you tell yourself, jogging the rest of the way home. It won’t be so bad, after all.

———

Starting today, you’ll be officially dating Kise.

That’s how it is on paper, anyways.

How are you supposed to act while dating the Kise Ryōta? Equally cool and flamboyant? Athletically capable? Would you weird out Kise if you were the one initiating physical affection?

“(y/n)!”

You flinch, not expecting anyone to call for you so early in the morning, and your walking route to school was never shared with another student as far as you were concerned. After all, your path was a little more obscured and unorthodox compared to the majority of students traversing the main neighborhood paths.

“Sorry… did I scare you?” You stop and turn to the source of the voice, only to be surprised when you see Kise himself. “Why do you look so surprised? Didn’t we agree on the time to meet up and walk to school together?”

“Oh… yeah…” In the midst of your thoughts, it seems that you forgot the arrangements you made with him yesterday evening. “My bad?”

“Oh, come on,” he gives a mock-hurt face with a hand to his chest. “Am I that forgettable, (y/n)?”

“N-No!” you immediately deny. You knew it was more like the other way around, the way constant thoughts of Kise preoccupy in your head too much. How can you ever forget him when he constantly runs through your mind everyday for so long? Kise merely gives a good-natured sigh before he changes the subject.

“Kidding,” he says, holding out a hand to you. “Seriously though, get your act together. We gotta start acting the part if we want this to work.” You stare at his hand, hesitating for a split moment before you put your own hand on top. His large hand easily encompasses yours, and the warmth makes you widen your eyes. It… felt nice.

You were so entranced by your linked hands that you failed to notice how Kise was staring at your face with a sharp glint in his eyes, but when you look up back to his face, he easily morphs his expression into his signature grin. He swings your hands around like an excited kid and turns to walk ahead to tug you along.

“Alrighty!~ Let’s hurry together before I get chewed out by Kasamatsu-senpai!”

“Kise, have you ever considered that it’s not really your tardiness that gets the captain mad but more so about the way you seem to irritate him with the way you skip around?”

“(y/n),” he says with a pout, “you know you’re not being convincing when you use my last name to address me as your boyfriend.”

“R-Right,” you stammer, still not used to the entire situation. “Ah… wait. Don’t you uh… call people who are close to you with -cchi?”

“Huh…” he mumbles, looking up at the cloudy sky before looking ahead of the path. “Not necessarily people who are close, just people who I really admire. I guess I addressed you like that yesterday without really thinking.”

“U-Uh, right… sorry.” He stops walking with your hand still in tow, and you almost bumped into his back at his sudden movement. He turns to you with a quite serious look.

“Do you want me to call you that?”

It was a normal question, but for some reason it felt like the next sentence coming from your mouth would make a huge impact on the way the two of you would interact in the future. From the way Kise looks at you with such a scrutinizing gaze, it feels like a trick question, and you’re not sure how to answer it. Your mouth goes dry when you try to reply.

“I… I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” Kise’s eyes widen a fraction before he gives an unexpected chortle. “Pfft… how do you not know what you want to be addressed as?”

“Arrgh, oh shut it!” you frown, hitting his arm in a fluster before stalking off ahead. You remember that you were supposed to go to school together, and you begrudgingly stop and turn back to wait for him to catch up. “Ryōta, just call me whatever you want. You’re already calling me by my first name, so I doubt anyone would care if you added -cchi or not.” Still, your cheeks turn pink at the realization that Kise would be uttering your first name for the next couple… whenever this relationship will last.

“You… wait up!” Kise wheezes dramatically, despite the both of you knowing full well how easily he can catch up to your stride. “You really shouldn’t be treating your boyfriend like that! Especially on the first day!” Kise holds your hand again to lead you to the rest of the way to school.

All the while, you’ve been staring at his back, your heartstrings being tugged so mercilessly at the cacophony of emotions you were feeling the whole time. He felt so warm, so inviting, but the way he held your hands felt cold and transactional.

———

You’re not sure how to react whenever Kise introduced himself as your “boyfriend” to everyone or whenever nosy students inquired about your new “boyfriend.” All you could do was gulp and manage the most convincing act you could do within different contexts. Smile, laugh, get bashful, be modest in talking about how Kise managed to “like” you, pretend you know many embarrassing stories and sides to him that no one else did. Truthfully, you were just as in the dark as anybody else.

You think the only reason why everyone bought the couple-act was due to how enamored you were in talking about him. This was the only response you could be truthful about. At least you could use your huge crush to your advantage in portraying yourself as the “lovey-dovey” half of the couple. Yet it feels unbelievably wrong.

You knew you had to prepare yourself some preset answers for curious students, but you didn’t expect yourself to be participating in neverending “interviews” in these social settings. You thought this relationship would entail a closer access to Kise’s true self, but things suggest otherwise.

“Ryōta,” you say, peering up at his face as the both of you walk down the hallway to your designated spot for lunch together. Even as you two walk, he puts a reasonable distance between the two of you when there is no one in close proximity. Even when you two are together, he only grabs your hand when it’s socially convenient. Even when Kise approaches you to talk, you know it’s never anything beyond for the sake of acting. And you agreed to this entire thing.

“Hm?” He spares a glance to your figure before returning his gaze ahead.

“Uh, I brought extra food today,” you say, trying to use this situation to try to express your genuine feelings to him in small increments. “I brought an extra bento box too… in case, you don’t wanna actually share one…” He was about to reply before a pair of students turned around the corner to head towards your direction. Kise narrows his eyes at the unexpected turn of events, and immediately turns to you brightly.

“(y/n)! You really thought that I wouldn’t like the idea?” he pouts. “Of course I wanna share a bento with you! Silly…” He slightly bends to your level to place a chaste peck on your forehead.

“Ah…” you freeze at his soft touch, your legs stiff in place as you stop walking. Kise, in response, moves his lips to your ears, and you slightly shiver at the unexpected intimacy… it was the closest he’s gotten to you ever since that public stunt when he kissed you in front of everyone the other day.

“Hey, don’t just stand there… you can’t overreact like this over something couples do everyday.” You bit your lip in an attempt to stop your heart from sinking from disappointment, but in turning your face to him to spill an apology, your face ended up right in front of his. Your eyes widen but he only stares at you with such an intensity that makes you hold your breath in anticipation.

But he immediately draws away and stretches with a yawn. “Looks like those people left right after they thought they intruded on a private moment between us,” he says. “Sheesh, people really do the most to be so nosy nowadays.” You wonder how he can be so casual about this all. Perhaps it was a mistake to be here like this when you were so in love with him, overthinking every single thing he did.

Why didn’t he kiss you this time? Did he not find you the teensiest attractive enough to want to kiss you even without an audience nearby?

“Come on,” he mumbles, waving a hand through your face. “Quit making that face. I won’t be doing that to you without warning anytime soon. My bad, okay?” Kise sheepishly holds out a hand for a handshake to make peace, and you wordlessly take his hand. One day, you’ll stop being his special someone to savor his warmth…

No, you thought, you’re an idiot… he’s never considered you as someone special.

You debated in telling him that you were fine with him kissing you, but you hold your tongue, afraid that he’ll realize your true feelings about him. Besides, were you really okay with him kissing you when he didn’t reciprocate the same feelings?

“It… wasn’t like what you think,” you hesitate. “It just caught me off guard.”

“Well,” he laughs. “That’s a relief! By the way…” He stops to settle himself on the bench. “What’s exactly your lunch? Since you went through the effort to bring extras, I guess I’ll eat them.”

“I packed salmon from leftovers I had from home,” you reply, taking out your bento box and utensils. You decide to shake off your negative thoughts and shove them to the back of your mind. He makes a horrified face at the lunchbox. “Kise, what’s wrong?”

“Do you… happen to have anything else packed?”

“Rice?”

“Well,” he coughs. “I’m not a fan of dishes with boned fish.”

“Didn’t you say you hated unagi too?” Kise shyly averts his gaze before he reluctantly confirms it so. “They’re delicious though! Especially when they’re grilled!” At first, he refused to answer, but the more you tried to poke and prod (literally too, at his ribs), he finally gave in.

“Alright, alright! But I swear, you better not tell anyone!… I choked on a fish bone one time…”

“… And?”

“And yeah.”

“You choked on a bone once and you got scared out of eating fish—”

“Shhhh!” he hushes, emphasizing his hiss with a finger to his lips. At this very moment, you saw a glimpse into who Kise really is, and you can’t help but bust out a genuine, carefree laugh for the first time in front of him. In embarrassment, he bonks your head with his fist to get you to stop laughing, but it only makes you more conscious of how close he is to you.

But just as quickly and telepathically, Kise puts some distance between the two of you, sitting closer to the edge of the bench. He opts to hunch over casually and keenly watch you scarf down your meal in minutes without a care.

You wonder if you should feel guilty for enjoying this moment with Kise, even if he was only waiting with you out of obligation of being your “boyfriend,” but right now, you allowed yourself to indulge, letting your heart beat sporadically without guilt and fear for once. You continue to savor your lunch in silence, concentrating on munching around the fish bones, while Kise sat in contemplation all the while.

———

“You should come watch our practice game today, (y/n).”

“Eh?”

You tilt your head at him in confusion. It’s been two weeks since you started this arrangement with him, but nothing extraordinary or groundbreaking happened between the two of you, much to your despondency. But you knew, you shouldn’t be asking for too much when you already have the once-in-a-lifetime chance to be close to him like this.

“There’s going to be a lot of people coming,” he explains. “Even if it’s just a practice game… it’d be weird if you weren’t there, because, you know, we’re dating.”

“I don’t mind going,” you reply. “It sounds fun.”

“You know, you’ve been agreeing to everything I’ve been suggesting the entire time,” he mumbles to himself, but he zips his mouth shut when he sees you instinctively moving closer to try to catch what he said. “Uh, in any case… just stop by the gym whenever you can.”

So here you are a few hours later, being the first person to settle yourself on top of the 2nd floor of the gym. You rest your arms on the railway, fascinated by the Kaijō basketball team and their skills. As they warm up on the courts, it’s the first time you see Kise truly at ease and happy with the people he cares about, and your heart pangs in jealousy seeing his genuine smile. You were pulled out of your thoughts when you realized the gym became completely crowded, the constant chattering announcing huge crowds along the entrance and the lucky watchers at the 2nd floor with you.

You didn’t mind the onlookers when all you were focused on was Kise throughout the entire game with a smitten look, and you weren’t surprised when his team easily won against the other local school.

“That’s Kise isn’t it?” You were about to turn to leave the higher floor to wait outside the gym when you heard his name. You stop to eavesdrop on the conversation next to you.

“Yeah, I’ve been hearing about him way too much. Something about him dating now?”

“He’s dating (l/n) right now, which is super weird because they never even talked… and all of the sudden, they’re dating? I didn’t think of him to be into short-term flings.”

“You think he’s using (l/n) in some way? What an asshole.”

“Yikes. You’re probably not even that far off the bulls-eye. He’s a really heartless guy, from what I’ve heard.”

“Hey,” you interrupt, scaring the two girls out of their wits before they turn to you. “I don’t think you should talk about Kise like that when all you know of him is through speculation.”

“Ugh, here we go again with his fans…” one of them groans, rolling her eyes. “Look, I get it, he’s good-looking and all, but I don’t understand how you can defend him to death when he doesn’t even spare a glance at you… ah… shit, you’re (l/n)?” A flash of hurt was visible on your face for a split second before you frowned. Their words unintentionally hit the nail in the coffin.

“Whether I’m (l/n) or not doesn’t really matter,” you say angrily. “Gossiping about anyone like that isn’t something you should make a habit out of.”

“Jeez, let’s just leave,” the other girl whispers, dragging the first girl along.

You simply stand there watching them leave, but you can’t shake off what they said. They were right… how could you be so whipped for him when you know he’ll never see you the same way?

“Oy!”

Kise’s voice brings you back to your consciousness as he waves at you from the court. “You’ve been standing there for a while! Hurry up, or I’ll leave you behind, (y/n)-cchi!”

“Coming!” You race from the 2nd floor to the ground level to catch up to him, your heart pounding all the while. Did he… did he just…?

You shake your head before you reunite with him to walk home together. Stop it… don’t overthink it.

———

Kise waits at his usual spot to wait for you before walking to school together. It’s been three weeks since he’s approached you to “date.” He’s grown quite comfortable with this arrangement, being close to you and backing off when it’s convenient. After all, if you somehow showed a gruesome true self of yours, he’d be able to separate himself from you with no consequences… even if his heart would cry out not to.

“Ryōta!” There you are, running down the path towards him so cheerfully. Could you really be an awful person when you have such a pure smile like that?

“Ah, (y/n)-cchi,” he says. “We should hurry if we wanna be inside campus. It’s a little chilly today, so being indoors sounds really nice right now.” He peers over to your face to see your nose slightly red from the cold, and he huffs out a chuckle, noting the warm puff of air escaping from his own lips.

“I guess it’s a little cold today,” you say, looking up at Kise with a slight childish wonder. “Hey, that’s a pretty cool cloud that you puffed out.”

“You have some clouds around you too.” He gently smiles, and he notes that your eyes widen at the sight of him. “Wha? Is my face that horrific, (y/n)-cchi?” You avert your gaze as your cheeks grow just as red as your nose.

“Nah… i-it’s nothing…ah—” He holds your cheeks to turn your face back to him, and he draws near with a serious gaze, bumping his forehead against yours.

“You’re actually really cold…”

“Uh, um… I don’t think I’m c-cold anymore—” you stammer, your eyes darting to look everywhere but his face, and Kise’s eyes only scrutinize your behavior further.

“Hm, if you say so…” he mumbles. Your eyes flutter close at the anticipation, and he feels the pull towards your lips, closing his own lids shut…

Wait, what was he thinking? He snaps his lids open and slightly draws himself away to look at you, still vulnerable with your closed eyes. It’s only when he drops his hands from your cheeks and turns to walk ahead when you flutter your eyes open again. Don’t let your feelings for (y/n) blind you into figuring out who they really are.

“Come on,” Kise calls out to you. “We should get going… we don’t wanna be late.” Besides, what if there’s a possibility that you don’t really like him at all?

“Y-Yeah…”

The rest of the walk was in silence, with Kise slightly ahead of you. Perhaps if he turned around at least once to check on you, he would’ve seen the consequences of his actions.

You were silently crying the entire walk.

———

Nothing seems to change much for the entire month. The way the two of you dance and sway around each other, while never being too close, never being too affectionate, never being completely honest. In this shared rose-tinted world, the frail glass that holds these moments together threatens to break with every fickle interaction. Every shared kiss constitutes another small crack to the rose-tinted crystal.

And both of you are content with just the way things are.

Or that’s what you both mutter to yourselves like a mantra.

“Ryōta!” you call out to him. “Did you wait long?”

“Not really,” he says. “I just barely got out too… the teacher was really lenient on dismissal today, actually.” His heart swells at the sight of you as usual, but just as quickly, he’s always managed to quash his emotions in check.

For the first time, you initiate physical touch with him without hesitation, linking your hands with his and snuggling up to him. He flinches, not fast enough to process the sudden warmth of your body, and he immediately separates himself from you. Do you actually like him after all?… No, something is up, right?

“Ryōta…?” You flinch just as severely from the sudden reaction, and he turns to avoid looking at your face, knowing that his resolve would crumble right in front of you. He’s a coward, and he fucking knows it.

“S-Sorry, (y/n)-cchi! I don’t know what came over me like that, but you know you don’t have to force yourself to do things like that, right? There’s no one here, so let’s just walk home together like we always do, yeah?”

He turns to already walk ahead, too afraid of hearing your response and hoping you would follow and catch up to him… like you always do.

You simply stood there for a few moments, anguish clear as the sky above you as you keep telling yourself to manage your own expectations. Still, your voice croaks out quietly to respond to him, even if you knew he wasn’t going to hear it.

“… But I wanted to do these things with you, Ryōta.”

———

It’s been several days since that incident.

It was very awkward for the most part, the walks to and from school silent and suffocating. He’s not quite sure how to go about it while trying not to sound disingenuous about it. Nonetheless, even through his quiet apology, your face still lights up, and he’s confused about why you would ever be so forgiving of him.

Although today, lines have been crossed and this shared secretive world between the two of you have completely shattered to the point of no return.

It was quite a blur, an instinct that Kise has developed over the course of this relationship. Every time a group of students drew near, he was always ready to tug you close for a kiss until they left and carry on with their day. Today was usually no exception.

Another group of students was hanging around the corner, presumably spying on you two, and Kise did what he’s always done, grabbing your hand and embracing you for a kiss. Your eyes were blown open in surprise, but when you saw Kise’s eyes elsewhere, something finally snapped inside.

You push him away at his chest.

“U-Unagi… unagi…” Your voice trembles, and you use your arms to cover up the fresh tears. The code word sounds unbelievably stupid out of context, but at this moment, the word alone stabs Kise in his chest. “I-I… just stop… please.” Kise stares dumbly at you, processing the fact that you just used the agreed safe word against him.

“… (y/n)-cchi?” Kise asks with a confused smile. “You’ve never objected to kissing before… I’ve even told you what we’ll be doing if you agreed to this…?”

“How…” you choke on tears. “H-How can you kiss me like that while your eyes are on someone else…?”

“I don’t understand—”

“A-Am I that atrocious to kiss unless you stare at something else or there’s some convenience?”

“I don’t get it, (y/n)-cchi,” he frowns. “Did you expect more out of this or am I missing something?”

“There was no reason to kiss me like that,” you softly wail. “Everyone already knows we’re a thing for… o-over a month now. There’s no reason to kiss me around people anymore when they won’t suspect us anyways…”

“So you don’t want me to kiss you anymore?” Kise’s heart sinks in thinking about where this is going.

“No!—you don’t… you don’t fucking get it! I don’t get it—! Why are we doing this anymore—I just, I see no reason to continue this anymore… you already shooed off your fans, right? Why haven’t you ended this?!”

“(y/n)-cchi—I…” He reaches out for you, but you immediately recoil.

“No—please… no more, I can’t do this anymore!” you sniffle. “I can’t fucking do this… I’m done, I’m tired—please… just look for another person to take my place… I… I’m done—I can’t pretend with you anymore when I always expect more out of it like a love-stricken fool!”

“I…”

“Look—see,” you choke. “I’m just like everyone else who’s in love with you, I’m no different than everyone else R-Ryōta… so that’s why, I-I… can’t do this anymore!”

Kise stands there, staring at you running away from him. It was like everything had gone silent, save for the sound of his blood pounding in his ears.

“You think he’s using (l/n) in some way? What an asshole.”

“Yikes. You’re probably not even that far off the bulls-eye. He’s a really heartless guy, from what I’ve heard.”

He hated rumors, he really did… but for the first time, he feels like he deserves every word thrown at him around the hallways and classrooms. His memory flits to the time when he felt warm from seeing you standing up for him, even if he wasn’t bothered by them before. Now, the warmth is replaced by agonizing regret and guilt wracking through his entire body. His hands feel cold with you gone from his side.

What has he done?

———

He’s grown quiet for the next week.

It’s been a week since you ran from him, and it’s been a week since he last talked to you.

Even his teammates were concerned about his reserved behavior, but just as always, he’s managed to shoot them a convincing smile. Kasamatsu was more persistent about this but eventually dropped it seeing Kise’s refusal to talk about it.

That day when you pushed him away, he couldn’t sleep, his thoughts keeping him awake the entire night. He resolved himself to talk to you the next day… but he changed his mind the last minute… and then he told himself he’d do it the next day… and then he changed his mind again.

He tells himself that it’s because you rightfully hate him, with the way you’d surround yourself with other crowds and groups to prevent him from walking up to you when you were alone. He tells himself that it’s because both you and him needed space to cool off and go back to the way you two were. He refuses to tell himself that it’s because he’s an honest-to-god coward.

He misses you. He misses you damn badly. Why the fuck did he go through such lengths instead of confessing to you straight up? He tells himself that he was being cautious. He tells himself that he doesn’t want his heart to be broken again. He refuses to conclude that it’s because he’s a fucking coward.

“I don’t know what’s been on your mind, idiot,” Kasamatsu says. “But you better solve this yourself quickly if you’re not opening up to me about this. We can’t have your performance quality be dropping even in practice. Hurry up and fix this shit with (l/n)-san already.”

“H-How’d you know?!” Kise raises his head from his desk in astonishment.

“Tch, idiot,” he glowers, chopping Kise’s head with a swift hand. “It’s too obvious from the way you’re moping around… from the way you two stuck together all this time, who wouldn’t notice something happened from the way you’re at your desk watching (l/n)-san like that?”

“O-Ow…” Kise grumbles rubbing his head. Ironically, his captain’s hit cleared up his doubts and he took a deep breath before exhaling. “Got it, senpai.”

“You better.” Kasamatsu goes back to talking to his classmates during break, and even despite not knowing the truth of the relationship, he manages to give solid advice as usual.

Tomorrow. He’ll find you tomorrow.

———

He doesn’t know where else to find you alone other than the place he’s always waited for you before you two used to walk to school together. So he stands there, almost an hour earlier in case you had the idea to walk to school extremely early to avoid him at all costs.

He was right.

Here you are, shuffling your feet as you trudged yourself along the path and looking down at your feet. You even manage to walk past by him without noticing his presence.

Even if you’ve grown to hate him, he’s willed himself to come completely clean about his feelings to you for once. But a part of him is thinking to change his mind again and just let you slip away from his fingers. It’d spare the both of you the inevitable, right?

“R-Ryōta…?”

He was pulled from his thoughts, startled to see you staring at him from a short distance away. Apparently you did notice him after all.

“… (y/n)-cchi…” He swallows his words, knowing full well that his stupid words might blow this up for him again, his words responsible for all the rumors at school, his words responsible for hurting you and will hurt you again.

He wordlessly walks up to you and holds your cheek, and waits. He waits for you to push him away again. He waits for you to say the code word to let him know that you don’t want him near you again. The thought of you running away from him nearly brings him to tears, but he gulps his emotions down and stares at you calmly, with only his upturned brows hinting to his inner turmoil.

“Ryō—”

He swiftly brings his head down and kisses you. In feeling the warmth for the first time in a while, he greedily drinks from your lips, holding your temples more firmly as he searches for more, more, more.

You push him away.

Kise immediately lets go and stares at you like a lost child, unable to mask the devastation from the implications of your actions. But you’re still gripping his uniform tightly, almost as if you didn’t want to let go.

“W-Why…?” you croak, biting your lips to stop any tears from breaking through. “There’s no reason to kiss me. Don’t you know that we’re done? There’s no one to watch us here, no reason for you to walk me to school anymore. You know that, Ryōta. After all, we haven’t talked since a week ago, and you have the audacity to come here and kiss me like everything is okay—”

“… I want to kiss you, because there’s no one around, because there’s no other reason for me to.”

“Why…?” your voice softens to a whisper. “Don’t you hate anyone who likes you in that way? I… I already told you that I see you in that light, like many of your fans do. Don’t you hate me? Don’t you hate me for using this arrangement to get closer to you? Don’t you hate me for expecting something real out of this?”

“I already had an inkling of suspicion that you liked me, (y/n)-cchi,” Kise turns away to look at the bright morning sky. “I just didn’t know if I was wrong or not.”

“Then… why did you ask me to do this whole thing with you…?”

“Because I’m a coward,” he says, looking back to you. You were stunned into silence. For the first time, he finally admits what’s been weighing on his mind for weeks out loud, and his eyes, while drenched in shame, were full of resoluteness. “I liked you, but I was too afraid for the day when you ended up being not like the person I ended up liking. I liked you, but I was afraid of a real relationship that would tie me down. I liked you, but I was afraid of making huge decisions that involved another person into my life. I didn’t want to end the fake relationship because I was too fucking selfish… if I ended it, I’d lose the only connection I had with you… I’m sorry.”

Both of you went silent, bathed in the light of the rising sun. Kise drops to a squat to hide his face from you, and you knew he was trying to stop himself from tearing up. He knows how uncool he looks, but he had no right to cry when you were the one who got hurt the most.

“Ryōta, did you really find it difficult to kiss me…? Just… be honest.”

“Yes,” he looks up from his squat to stare at you with an intense look, even despite his puffy eyes. “Everytime I kissed you, I found it hard to control myself. I thought, what if you were using me to somehow get a kiss from me? or what if I couldn’t stop myself from kissing you and I ended up taking things too far? Looking anywhere but you at least stopped me from getting too invested…”

By now, both of you had turned completely red at his honesty, but he still found you frankly stunning even with your red, puffy eyes. “Look, (y/n)-cchi, don’t you hate me? I used you. The rumors are right—I’m a complete asshole. Just… I won’t blame you if you walk away right now.”

“You do know that I used this opportunity to get closer to you, right?… I wasn’t a saint about this either, so… I’m sorry too.” Both of you go silent again, and you slowly drop yourself to his level in a squat of your own in front of him.

“… C-Can we… can we start over?” you whisper, your warm breath tickling his chilled nose.

“(y/n)-cchi, I don’t think I’m capable of continuing this arrangement…”

“No,” you huff, before you tentatively press a chaste kiss to his lips. “I mean… can we… start over, but this time, as a real couple? I… want this relationship to be substantial. I really do like you, Ryōta.” You murmur against his lips with your hands on top of your knees, waiting for him to rebuke you away with an easygoing comment or a plastered smile.

But he doesn’t do any of that.

“I… guess we can try that,” Kise mumbles, gaze averted as his cheeks flame brighter than his nose and ears.

“Can you kiss me again?” you ask, your voice cracking at the end out of fear he’d turn down your request. Kise flicks his gaze back to you to see you equally red with a hesitant expression.

“Could you… close your eyes?” he asks with a frown.

“H-Huh?”

“Y-You don’t need to see me looking like a mess, I don’t look charming right now.”

“I… guess…” After a few moments of hesitation, you flutter your eyes shut, waiting apprehensively for his lips to descend onto yours again. Kise holds your cheeks and takes the time to admire your features for the first time, and his smile grows wider with every passing second.

‘R-Ryōta…?” Afraid of the fact that he actually may not like kissing you after all, you worriedly open your eyes, only to be greeted by the most brilliant smile from Kise, his figure illuminated by the sunshine hitting the back of his head at the perfect angle.

“(y/n)-cchi,” he teases with a small pout. “Didn’t I tell you to close your eyes?”

Who needs a rose-tinted lens when the sight before you is already so radiant to behold?

[orange-waterfalls]

...Happy New Year?

Darkiplier x gn!reader x Wilford

A/N: I am so disappointed and surprised that I haven’t written anything poly yet are you KIDDING ME. Does it take me 5 months to write a single fic? No. Might take me that long to find motivation and SINCE I don’t wanna be an ASSHOLE who takes requests and then DOESN’T WRITE THEM I’m probably gonna take a bit to think and figure out what I wanna do here with the blog. Uhhh reader is a retail worker who’s just. Tired and stressed. Dark and Wil decide to comfort them because good boyfriends are good! TW: mention of weed. And suggestive phrases? Also cursing. That’s it. Rated T. Enjoy and have a happy New Year everybody!

Word Count: 2.7k

--

“Do you have to?” Wilford all but whined when you got ready for work. Except he did not whine because he does not whine because he is Wilford Warfstache, thank you. “It’s New Year’s Eve!”

“I’m fully aware what day it is, hon,” You said in a very soft voice because you knew Wilford had to be let down gently or he’d be grouchy for the next few months. “That’s why I’m not working overtime. Hopefully. Maybe I can get Sara to take over my shift, she’s not doing anything tonight. I wish I could’ve taken the morning shift, I do.” Darkiplier appeared next to Wilford, looking just as desperate.

“Can you not just… not… go?” Dark suggested, trying not to sound too needy. He knew that he failed by the look you gave him.

“I have to work, boys.”

“Do you though?”

“Wilford...”

“I can get you money.”

“Are you suggesting illegal activities, Mr. Warfstache?”

“We are not… besides stealing.”

“Wil.”

“We could pawn off Mark’s stuff, it’s probably worth a lot!”

“Both of you, stop it!” You said in a stern voice. They both looked like kicked puppies and you felt a little bad about it. “I’ll get home when I get home. You know I love you. If I never had to leave you, I wouldn’t. But I gotta, ok?”

“Kissies?” Wilford asked, tapping the tips of his fingers together. Darkiplier looked at the motion and back at his own fingers, seemingly trying to replicate it. You stared at his hands for a moment, watching the struggle with a resigned sort of curiosity. Wilford also stared at them until he couldn’t take it anymore and just put his hands over Dark’s.

“Just-Just… stop.” He said gently. Dark lowered his hands and they both looked back to you. You shook your head.

“I’ll be back before midnight. Order some takeout, please.”

“Sure thing, boss!” Wilford saluted.

“Goodbye, darling.” Darkiplier gave a little bow. You smiled warmly, walking over to the two. Darkiplier turned his head and you kissed his cheek. You tried to do the same for Wilford, but he turned his head back at the last second to catch your lips in a kiss. Additionally, he grabbed your face to keep you there. You pulled away and gently smacked his cheek before heading back to the door. Darkiplier glared at him a little. He stuck his tongue out in response.

“Bye! Love you!”

“We love you too, babes!” Wil called, wrapping his arms around Dark’s neck and leaning against him. Dark waved a goodbye to you. You shut and locked the door behind you. 

“Wil?” Dark said after they stood like that for a while.

“Yep?” Wil responded with his cheek squished to Dark’s shoulder.

“If you’re gonna cling to me we could at least lay down.”

“Cuddle time?”

“Sure. Cuddle time. Come on.” Dark tried to walk to the three’s shared bedroom, but Wilford wouldn’t let go. He quirked an eyebrow at the reporter. “Wil?”

“Yes?”

“May you… let go?”

“No.”

“Wil.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Wil…”

“No.”

“We can’t cuddle if you don’t let go.”

“Lies. Deception.”

“Wil, please, work with me here.” They looked at each other. Wilford slowly removed his arms from around the other man’s neck. Dark caught one of his hands, bringing his palm to his lips and gently kissing his hand.

“Someone’s feeling affectionate!” Wil exclaimed. Dark intertwined their fingers and gave his hand a squeeze before finally walking to the room.

The bedroom had mostly shades of black, white, and blue decor, apart from the fluffy red pillows you just had to have, along with a few stuffed animals. Darkiplier had his office with his red and black velvet and Wilford had his own… wherever he hung out, so they didn’t mind you choosing the colors. Anything to stop Wilford from painting the walls yellow of all colors. 

Wilford turned around and pulled Dark in by his waist, swaying in a little dance. 

“What are you doing?” Dark tried and failed to conceal his smile and laugh.

“Dancing with my lover, what does it look like?” Wilford nuzzled their noses together.

“I thought you wanted to cuddle.”

“I do.”

“Then why are we dancing?”

“Can’t we just dance for a bit?” Darkiplier pulled back and looked at Wil, who was currently avoiding eye contact. He sighed.

“Feels a little weird without Y/N?” He asked. Wilford hummed, still not looking him in the eye. “We don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“I do want to.”

“We can wait until they get home, it’s really not--”

“I do want to…”

“But?”

“Mm…”

“Want to prove you aren’t absolutely whipped?”

“Excuse you?!”

“It’s not a bad thing.”

“I am-- You-- Wilford Warfstache simps for NOBODY!”

“Says Mr. Hundred Dollar Pillows.”

“Listen here you son of a bitch--” Wilford backed away and held up a finger to explain exactly why he was no simp. Dark took the opportunity to push him onto the bed. “Ooh! Frisky!”

“Shut it.” He climbed into the bed next to him. Wilford draped himself across Dark’s chest, nuzzling into him. They sighed contentedly. 

“Dark?”

“Mm?”

“What did I do to deserve you two?”

“Me? You were nice and accepting. I still don’t believe either of us deserve Y/N.”

“Oh, come on, there has to be something.”

“Wil, both of us have killed multiple people. I think whatever good we’ve done will get canceled out.”

“...right.”

They lay like that for a bit, enjoying just being there. Suddenly, Wilford picked his head up.

“What’s happening? You have a look? What is that look?” Dark furrowed his eyebrows.

“I have the best idea!” Wilford jumped up and ran to the closet.

“What?” Dark sat up.

“We are surprising our lover with romance!” He threw Dark’s suit at him, picking out his own at the same time.

“...and suits?”

“Yes! Well, your suit. It makes you look sexy.”

“Wil.”

“Their words, not mine!”

“Why are we--”

“It’s New Year’s, Dark! They’re stressed! They’re tired! They deserve a surprise! Where the Devil are my suspenders?”

“Wil, I don’t think--”

“That’s right, Dark. You don’t think. You can just sit there and look pretty while Wilford Lovemaster Warfstache plans it out!”

“Lovemaster?”

“I was due for a new middle name anyways. Chop chop!”

Dark hesitantly put on his suit while Wilford looked for his suspenders. He looked in the mirror, deciding whether he looked… “sexier” with or without a tie. He eventually decided without, even popping a few buttons of his dress shirt. Wilford walked back in, wearing a hot pink button up, yellow suspenders, and a blue bowtie.

“...hot!” He said before walking up next to Dark and taking a selfie of the two. Dark looked over his shoulder and watched him send it to you with the caption ‘your two special boys!’. He caught a look at some previous messages.

“Wil, what’s poggers?”

“New-fangled lingo, don’t worry about it. Do we have roses? Ask Illinois to bring us roses.”

“Wil, what is happening.”

“ROMANCE!” He yelled, exasperated. “Romance is happening, Dark.”

“Romance… right.”

“And suits, precisely. Come on, order Chinese from that place they like.”

“...is this a good idea? Suits and chinese?”

“It’s a fantastic idea, now order the goddamn food.”

--

Darkiplier and Wilford sat on the couch in your apartment, reading a book they’d found. Wil was leaning on Dark’s shoulder with one leg draped over his. There was a little time until New Year’s, and they really wanted to spend it with you. Dark would never admit it, but he missed you. Quite a lot, actually. You’ve weaseled your way into his heart and now he’s a little dependent. Wil would proudly scream it to the world if he could. Dark would never let him.

Dark glanced up at the clock, seeing the 11:00 time. He scowled, closing the book and tossing it to the other side of the couch. He leaned his head back and sighed. He debated calling you with Wilford beforehand, maybe even just to hear your voice on the voicemail, but he was sure that would be too needy of him. He has a reputation to uphold, thank you very much.

“Miss your other lover, Darkipoo?” Wilfor teased.

“Obviously. I’m used to two heat sources, not one.”

“Oh, am I not good enough for Mr. Darkiplier?”

“I never said that.”

“You were thinkin’ it.”

“You can’t read minds, Wil, stick to your interviews.” He said in a faux-mocking manner. They smiled at each other.

Dark shot up from the couch the moment he heard your key in the lock. He adjusted his suit, squared his shoulders, and cleared his throat. He couldn’t help a smile as he held a white rose, Wilford doing the same as he held a pink one.

So, of course, they jumped a little when you slammed the door behind you.

“Uh. Darling? Are you--”

“I fucking hate EVERYTHING!” You yelled. Dark blinked. He glanced at WIlford, who looked just as surprised. You paced around the living room, looking like you were about to commit murder. He shuffled closer to Wilford, and leaned in.

“Wil, what are we supposed to do?” He whispered.

“Improvise. Adapt. Overcome.” Wilford said in a voice that told Dark he was quoting something.

“Wil, I don’t know what the fuck that is.”

“It-It’s a meme-Do you just not go on the internet? Ever? Nevermind, just follow my lead.” He grabbed the roses, putting them in a nearby cup of water. He walked over to where you were and gently grabbed your shoulders. “Here, darling, sit, tell us about it.” 

He led you to the couch and sat you down, sitting next to you. He snapped his fingers at Dark, pointing to your shoulders. Dark hesitantly walked over and started to massage your shoulders. You sighed a little, relaxing. Wil nodded and gave him a thumbs up.

“There were so many assholes today, man.”

“Mm-hm. Tell Wilford about it.”

“There was this guy who kept asking where this one thing that we didn’t have was, this lady kept insisting her coupons were not expired, don’t even get me started on Jared and Melissa.” 

“Who are Jared and Melissa?” Dark asked.

“Oh, FUCK Jared and Melissa!” You suddenly got to your feet again and started pacing again.

“Y-Yeah, fuck Jared and Melissa!” Wil agreed. “Who are Jared and Melissa?”

“Hell if I know, just go with it, I’ll get the takeout.” Dark patted him on the back.

“Angel wasn’t even there to talk to today, God, I miss them so much already.”

“Angel is the coworker who…”

“Oh, they have the cats, Socks and Mittens.”

“Oh, so Angie--”

“Angie is Angelo, and he smokes weed in the back. He’s cool too. He was too high to fucking function today, though.”

“So, uh, where was Angel?” Wil looked back into the kitchen and saw Dark loading up their plates with the food. Wil suddenly remembered that he was wearing a pink shirt. He didn’t know whether the stains would be prominent and he did not intend to find out. He snuck away into the bedroom to change. Suits were a bad idea, he should’ve listened to Dark. 

He changed into a T-shirt with the design of a suit and some grey sweatpants and somehow made his way back to the living room before you’d finished your first sentence. You noticed this, because you stared at his change of clothes.

“...weren’t you wearing a suit? Like an actual one?”

“No.”

“But-”

“I wasn’t.”

“You sent me a picture.”

“The, uh… suits were… part of a different… situation…” He said, not knowing what the fuck he was actually saying to you. You seemed to get something from it because you said:

“Ah. I see.” Before going back to your rant. Wil looked at Dark as he walked into the living room. He wasn’t wearing the suit jacket, only the black dress shirt. He also had black pants instead of the white ones.

Wilford nodded and whispered “Good choice.” Dark nodded and whispered “I told you so.”, so Wilford flipped him off. Dark sat the plates down while Wil pushed you down by your shoulders. You buried your face in your hands and groaned. Wil rubbed a hand up and down your back while Darkiplier poured drinks. You rubbed your face before leaning back and letting them drop. You looked down at the food. Then at Wilford. Then at Dark.

“Am I… missing something?” You said in a small voice.

“Hm?” Wil tilted his head at you.

“I feel like something was supposed to happen. Did I ruin your plans?” You frowned, starting to feel guilty. 

“No, no, darling, you couldn’t ruin anything.” Wilford shifted closer to you and put his arm around your shoulders, rubbing up and down your arm.

“You sure? It feels like something I could do…”

“You could never because anything involving you is perfect.” Dark whispered after he gently took your chin in his hand and turned you towards him.

“Booooooo.” Wil called.

“Wha?”

“That was so cheesy, Dark.” You smiled.

“So sappy. Disgusting.” Wil agreed.

“Shameful.” You both shook your heads.

“Both of you can fuck off.” Dark huffed and crossed his arms. You kissed him, gently holding his face in your hands, making him smirk.

“Hey! How come the edgy one gets a kiss kiss!”

“You tricked me this morning, no kiss kiss for you!”

“Dark! Tell them!”

“You heard them, no kiss kiss.”

“Wh-”

“Hey, I have an idea! Why don’t we eat and watch shitty rom coms!”

“Don’t you wanna watch the clock?” Dark asked.

“Not particularly…” You looked down and the smile left your face. Wilford and Dark gave each other a look before they each took one of your hands and squeezed them.

“Ok. We can do that.”

--

The three of you laid in bed, you and Wilford cuddling into either side of Dark. Countdown forgotten, already passed a while ago. Dark still had his dress shirt and you were still wearing your work clothes. Dark stared at the ceiling, focusing on the sounds around his. 

The fireworks outside.

The clock ticking rhythmically.

The soft and constant breathing from his two favorite people.

He took a deep breath and tried his best to push down all the bad and intrusive thoughts.

What if I hurt them? What if they decide I’m not good enough? What if I’m not good enough?

No. No ‘what if’s. That doesn’t matter. What matters is they love him and he loves them. 

He looked down at you, your soft face squished into his arm, and he smiled at the warmth that bloomed throughout his chest. He looked over at Wilford and sucked in a breath when he found him staring at Dark.

“...can’t sleep?” Wilford said in an uncharacteristically quiet voice.

“No, I just…” He took a deep breath. “I just…”

“Wha happened?” You slurred, waking up. Dark flinched.

“Both of you should go back to sleep.”

“Why’re you awake then?” Wilford challenged.

“I was just… thinking.”

“About?” You yawned.

“About… how much I… love you two.” Both you and Wilford froze and Dark’s breathing sped up, scared he’d done something wrong.

“Awww, he wuvs us!” Wil giggled.

“How much do you wuv us, Dark?” You crossed your arms on his chest, resting your cheek against them and looking at Dark.

“...a lot.” He monotoned, staring at the ceiling.

“Do you wuv us soooo much?” Wilford batted his eyelashes.

“I’m starting to love you less and less.” Dark growled.

“Awwww he does!” You laughed

“Go. Back. To. Sleep. Please.” Darkiplier begged because Darkiplier does apparently beg, who would’ve thought.

“Yessir…” you said, another yawn taking over the word. You got back into your previous position, your arms gripping his and pressed into his side. Wilford took a similar one, just a little further up. You fell back asleep after a little bit, but the other two stayed awake.

“Happy you have both of your heatsources back?” Wilford whispered, a smile evident in his voice. Dark sighed, closing his eyes and focusing on the feeling of both his loves holding onto him like a lifeline. A ghost of a smile crossed his face.

“Yes. I am.”