#Derek Sandoval x Ryne Cassidy

[angst-fairygodmother]

Bad Days~ An Idiot (Affectionate) Story

A/N: My heart wanted a story for the two year anniversary. My head said “Oh you want to suffer? Can do!” So here we are...at least this isn’t the Canon-Compliant AU? Word Count: 1233 Rating: T - references to major injury, plot points of Bad Samaritan; anxiety; illness/traumatic brain injury recovery (I did my best with research but...there’s only so far you can get with that); general themes of sick fic and hurt/comfort

It was a bad day. 

Ryne knew it the minute she walked through the locked front door. 

The apartment was dark, and swelteringly hot, and deafeningly quiet. A thin slice of dusk cut into the center of the room, seeming more like bright midday in comparison, from where one of the heavy-duty curtains had shifted. Shedding as many layers as she could while she moved, Ryne navigated by feel, grateful that they'd been in the new place long enough that she knew where the furniture corners and uneven floorboards were, more or less. She turned on the quietest of the fans in the apartment, hoping that even though the air circulating instead of sitting stagnant wouldn't fix anything, it could at least keep matters from getting worse.

She didn't turn on the light as she ran a glass of cool water from the kitchen tap, or set the kettle on to boil. She didn’t turn on the lights while she set out a mug and tea bag and waited, hoping that Derek would be as soothed by the gentle mint smell wafting from the warm drink. She didn’t turn on the lights when she opened the bathroom’s small window to let out some of the air, or when she eased open the door to the only room it was possible her boyfriend might be. 

Derek was sprawled on the bed, blankets tangled around his legs and skin slicked with sweat. Menace curled against the back of his neck, purring loudly and licking his hair, as if he was trying to groom away the pain. 

“Derek?” she whispered, kneeling beside the bed, “Sweetie? Can you talk to me?”

He groaned, opening eyes that even in the dark she could tell were puffy and irritated. She raised a hand to his forehead, feeling that it was cool and clammy. He was shivering, despite the warmth of the apartment, bundled into what appeared to be every blanket that they owned between them. His lips moved slightly, like he was trying to form words but didn’t have enough control of his face to do it. 

She shook her head in answer, sighing as softly as she could. Lacing her fingers through his, she decided on another route, one that had worked wonders when he was still in the hospital.

“You remember how this goes, yeah?” she asked. “Think you can answer?”

He squeezed her hand once for yes, and though it wasn’t nearly as strong as she hoped, it was enough. 

“Has this been going on all day?”

Two squeezes this time. 

“It’s nearly six, do you know when it started to get bad?” He squeezed her hand twice again, and then after a pause a third time, trying to count and remember how long he had been laid out.

“Did you take anything?” Two squeezes, that was good. 

“Do you think you can sit up and drink something?” Two squeezes.

“If I help you?” He hesitated before squeezing once. She couldn’t read his expression clearly in the gloom that had settled back over the apartment as the sun went down, but she knew him well enough to know that, if he was, or would be if he could be, scowling, hating the feeling of being helpless. 

“I made tea, or we can start with just water.” He squeezed once and she smiled. “Okay, I’ll be right back.” 

After banishing the cat from the room in order to thwart his inconvenient attempts to play nursemaid of his own, she helped Derek to settle against the headboard and gently held the mug to his lips. He drank in slow, unsteady sips, and she kept her free hand on his, in case he needed to tell her something else. 

“Mint working its magic like our moms always promised?” Ryne asked when it was half drunk, trying to keep her voice light despite the worry gnawing at her gut. 

She always worried when she came home to find him struggling. No matter how much the doctors assured them that bad days were to be expected, and that every step forward was likely to come with just as many back. at least for a while, she knew him. Bad days physically were usually followed by bad weeks in terms of his mental health, berating himself for his “weakness” and for being a burden or maybe even worse, sitting in the bitter numbness of depression and it was all she could do to reach for him before he drowned. And on the really bad days, some fear inside her - the kind she didn’t dare voice out loud to anyone, even herself - whispered viciously that the doctors had lied and sent him home simply to get rid of him, and that she was going to blink and lose him, still. She was terrified of the fact that today was one of those really bad days. 

She jumped, startled out of her thoughts when he squeezed her hand, answering the question she guiltily realized she had forgotten she asked. 

She set the mug aside and Derek smiled weakly at her. 

“Think you feel up to try walking with me? You’ll feel a lot better if we can clean some of the sweat off you, and that’s easier in the bathroom…” 

~

Later, both at least sponge-cleaned and dressed in fresh sweats, Ryne settled into the bed beside her boyfriend. His arms circled tightly around her middle, crushing her to him in a way that, thankfully, felt rather intentional. The combination of warm tea, warmer water, and time were starting to relax his muscles. Still, she couldn’t help trying to speed the process even more, and soothe herself in the process, with the gentle massaging of her hands across the back of his head and down his neck.

“Ryne…” Derek sighed, slightly slurred and soft enough that she thought she might be imagining it. 

She paused the lullaby she had been unconsciously humming, waiting to see if he continued. 

“Thank you.”

“Oh Derek,” she sighed, nestling a little closer to him, pressing their noses together so that he had no choice but to meet her eye. “There is nothing to thank me for, okay. I love you, and I’m in this for the long haul, whatever that means. Even on the worst days.” 

The corner of his mouth twitched in a grin. 

“I just…wish you’d call me. As soon as you get the warning signs. I’ll drop everything if you need me, and we can try to fight off some of the worst together. If you let me.” 

He stayed quiet for a long time, and she bit her lip, worried that in trying to remind him that she was there, she had accidentally pushed him away. 

“I…” he words seemed to catch in his throat and he paused to start again. “I…forget. I was always alone. I forget I’m not.” The words came out forced and slow, soldiers marshaled and marched through gritted teeth and muscles that still occasionally spasmed patternlessly. 

She sighed, closing her eyes against the tears that threatened at the reminder of how unfair life had been to them. “I know,” she murmured, her voice trembling too. “I know. We’ll get there. Together.” 

The conversation ended, each following silent, wrapped up in each other and in their own thoughts, their breathing slowly syncing, slowly giving way to exhausted, healing sleep.

[angst-fairygodmother]

Hi! I'm so sorry this is late but if you're still taking requests, please could I request "new years kiss" with Derek and Ryne? I hope you are doing well 💖

A/N: Never too late darling. I take winter prompts as long as there's a chance of snow. 😊 Barely there, but I made it out for New Year’s Eve somewhere! Word Count: 1599 Rating: G - jealousy, references to Bad Samaritan, references to injury

She wasn't his girl. He had to remind himself of that for what felt like the thousandth time tonight, as he felt the heat of jealousy creeping up his neck. Just because they flirted all the time, and they'd gone to the club and been real close didn't mean she couldn't be dancing with someone else now, in her tight little dress that hugged her in all the right places and drove him crazy. 

But he couldn't help it, any more than he could look away. It was like there was no one else at the party but Ryne. Ok, Ryne and the girl she was with, the one that wasn't him making her laugh - even far enough away that he couldn't actually hear it over the crowd he loved that laugh - and sliding an arm oh so casually around her shoulders. He knew that move, he'd used it on plenty of chicks before.

“Dude, quit staring,” Sean hissed in his ear, making him jump. Derek had been so distracted he hadn't even noticed the Irishman arrive. “It's getting weird, and since it's my cousin you're creeping on, I'm gonna have to kick your arse if it goes any longer.”

Derek scoffed. “You could try man.”

Sean rolled his eyes. “Either make a move, or move on.” 

“I…can't man. I want to but it's just not the right time.” Derek shoved his hands in his pockets, shrugging and hoping his best friend wouldn't ask him to explain, because he wasn't sure he could. 

Sean muttered something about him being a coward but let it go, grabbing two more beers from the bucket of ice on the table Derek was hovering by and returning to Riley somewhere in the crowd.

The countdown started. Ten.

Nine. Derek scooped a red solo cup of mystery punch and grimaced at the syrupy sweet smell wafting from it. 

Eight. He spotted Ryne and the other girl in the crowd again, and his stomach roiled with what he wished was just indigestion. 

Seven. For a brief second he thought she caught his eye in the crowd, looking past her dance partner, straight into his soul.

Six. He blinked and took a breath, steeling himself to go over and interrupt. 

Five. The moment passed and her attention turned back away from him.

Four. He sighed, shoulders sagging as he realized it was just an accident, if it had really happened at all.

Three. Ryne leaned in.

Two. Her pretty blonde companion leaned in.

One. Their lips met as people cheered and blew noisemakers or threw confetti. Derek grimaced and downed the punch in one swig, coughing as the alcohol burned.

Sean was right. He was a coward. And the punishment for cowardice was the girl he wished was his making out with someone else, and him ringing in the new year alone.

“What a goddamn idiot,” he muttered, pulling on his coat to go outside for a smoke. “Happy fucking New Year.” 

~

“Hey babe,” Derek grinned at her, patting the arm of the large plush chair he was sitting in, inviting her to come and sit beside him. He had been in the rehab facility long enough that the nurses had long given up on “discouraging” after-hour visits, especially on special occasions and he was glad of it. Now if only he could get Ryne to relax a bit more, it might almost feel like home.

“Big news,” he continued, not waiting for her. “Doc said I should get out of here on good behavior next year.” He chuckled at his own joke.

Ryne felt her heart drop, even as she forced a smile to match his own. Another year was a long time to be in a rehab facility, and even with the financial aid she’d been able to help them get, she didn’t think Derek and Bela could afford it. The donations from their mother’s church had dried up not long after the funerals, and there was no sign yet of when they could hope for a payout from the Valkenburg Trust (if there was even anything left of it after all the money laundering and fraud investigations, plus payouts to the families of the victims not so lucky as Derek or Katie). She had been quietly funneling as much money as she had toward it as well, but she wasn’t exactly making a lot, and soon her own loans and debts would come due. She wasn’t sure what would happen when their luck and money ran out, but there was no way it ended well for him, or his recovery.

“What’s the matter babe?” he asked, eyebrows dipping into a frown. She tried to find the positive in that alone: his facial paralysis was one of the things the doctors had told them at first would be among the hardest parts to recover from. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if he had to transfer to an outpatient service (if they could find one for pennies) or work on exercises on his own.

“Nothing,” she lied. 

“Nuh-uh. I know that face, it’s worried face.” 

“It’s just…” she sighed, he was right, and he definitely knew her annoyingly well. “Next year? That’s…that’s a long time.”

Derek laughed, and she was instantly torn between the draw toward that warm, wonderful sound that she so recently worried she’d never hear again and the heat of embarrassment on her cheeks at the idea that he was laughing at her. 

“Did you forget what day today was?”

“I…haven’t really been paying attention.” 

“It’s six days after Christmas.”

“Yeah…and?”

“December 31. Next year is only a few hours away.”

Now she was sure that her cheeks were on fire, and she wasn’t sure whether to laugh or to cry, relief and shame at missing the obvious and frustration all piling up and threatening to escape her. And then Derek's arms were around her waist, and his lips were pressed to her hairline. 

“I’m sorry, Ryne,” he murmured. “I’m such an idiot. I thought you knew, and it was just supposed to be a joke. I didn’t mean to stress you out. I know how hard all this has been…”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Derek,” she mumbled against his shoulder as she hugged him back. “I’m just…god this year has been a fucking disaster.”

Slowly he stepped backwards, half dragging them both and half dancing, never straying far from the furniture in case he needed the extra support but trying for a second to be normal again.

“Yeah, but we made it through.”

Ryne tilted her chin up at that, meeting his earnest gaze and smiling. “Yeah, we did.” She kissed him properly then, and even though it was a little early, it was probably already the new year somewhere, and it felt like just the luck they needed. 

~

“Sorsha’s finally down again,” Ryne sighed, dropping onto the couch beside her husband, “and Alma managed to sleep through the whole thing.”

“She takes after her Mama,” Derek laughed, kissing her temple. “It takes an earthquake to wake you both.”

“Well maybe if her Daddy didn’t snore so badly, I wouldn’t have had to develop a coping mechanism.”

“Bullshit! You slept like the dead–” he sighed and shook his head, “slept that deeply waaay before we got together.”

“And just how do you know what I slept like before?”

“Cus you did the first night I slept over. And I know I rocked your world but even I ain’t that good.” 

She rolled her eyes, and gave him a teasing shove. “Whatever. Did you pick a movie?”

“Star Wars, duh. If we start it in,” he paused to check his phone, “exactly two minutes and forty seven seconds, the Death Star blows up at precisely midnight.”

“God you are such a neeerrrd. I love you.” 

“Well we did Return of the King and threw the ring in the lava last year, and you picked that.”

“And?”

“How is that less nerdy?”

“I didn’t say it was. But I never had a cool guy persona.” 

“But you thought mine was sexy,” he wiggled his eyebrows at her and she laughed.

“No accounting for taste, I guess,” she snuggled against closer. “I just got lucky it was only an act.” 

“Exactly…wait…”

“Don’t think too hard about it darling, you might sprain something. Just put your arm around me and play the movie.”

“As you wish,” he dropped his voice sultrily and whispered the words into her ear, making her shiver. 

Two hours later, the muted space station exploded and he turned to his wife, careful not to disturb the infant on his chest. Both girls had woken up during the movie, and rather than have to pause it and ruin their timing, the parents had decided to turn it into a silent film while they soothed the little ones back to sleep. But they had stirred each time they had tried to return them to their cribs, and eventually the whole family was cuddled on the couch, and all was calm.

So calm, he saw now, that he was the only one awake, even the aging cat dozing on the nearby dining room chair. 

“Ryne, baby? You gonna wake up for the New Year?” he whispered, nudging her gently. She groaned and buried her face into him, looking so adorable and cozy that he thought his heart might explode.

“Guess not,” he chuckled, bending awkwardly to kiss each of his three girls on the head with a “Happy new year” before turning off the TV and settling himself to sleep there too.

[angst-fairygodmother]

Derek, if Cale had killed Ryne instead, or she'd been more seriously hurt by the car?

I hope you're having a good night!

--🦚xx

A/N: Daaamn, Hera! I said Tragedy and you came for the throat. I'm going to do this one as headcanons, because there's no way I could write it in 200, or even 500 words. Or make it through without actually crying.

I’m having a lovely night actually, and I hope you are too my dear. (Also, I love that you still sign your asks, it's so lovely to see that familiar little symbol.)

If Ryne had been more seriously injured:

Derek would not have relented to not going to the hospital, or even asked

He would have carried her there physically and held her down in a chair until a doctor could see her if he had to

He would be freaking out the entire time, but doing his best to pretend he was calm

He definitely would have called Sean immediately, and then his Ma, and insisted they both come to the hospital, because Sean is your family and his Ma is so much better at taking care of people than he is (which is not giving himself enough credit)

Which...I guess would mean that there wouldn’t be anyone home when Cale showed up at the Sandoval residence, and that would have been a lot better for everyone?

While she recovered, he would be the most hover-y, anxious, overprotective Labrador. 

He would do everything he could, and then some, to take care of her. Carry her up and down the stairs. Cook and clean for her. Drive her to class and carry her books in. Probably even try to sit in on said classes to take notes for her/in case she needed anything. Regardless of whether or not any of that was actually necessary or helpful. 

But on the plus side, it would also mean extra cuddles and kisses and verbal reminders of how much he loves her. 

If Cale had killed Ryne:

Derek would follow swiftly after.

Not because Cale would go after him and succeed, as he did in the movie. He wouldn’t get that chance

Derek would go after Cale at his house on his own, or go with Sean to hunt him down

And unlike Sean, whose priority was saving the girl, Derek’s would be revenge

Which would make him dangerous, but also reckless and stupid

And Cale still views him as trash to be taken out, so it’s not like there would be a prolonged confrontation, or any beating with a shovel and zip-tying to make him watch anything

Even if Cale wanted to toy with Derek, he’s already done the worst thing that boy can even imagine. So there’s nothing left to do it with (there’s Sean, but I don’t think Cale would realize that, or Derek would be in a place to admit it)

On the other hand, he and Sean are a good team, and he’s been in fights before. So maybe they’d succeed faster/with less injury to Sean or Katie. Especially since Derek would, again, be suicidally reckless.

If he woke up in a hospital after the fact, either because of the movie events/my fic variant of them and only learned of it then, or if he survived being part of the final act, it would be less forceful. It would be more like giving up, not trying to get better, because he has nothing and no one left to get better for.

[angst-fairygodmother]

Probably Wouldn’t Be This Way (A Bad Samaritan Fic)

A/N: That’s right babes, I’m back a follow up to “I Am Stretched On Your Grave” because I apparently love pain in the form of a canon-compliant AU to Idiot (Affectionate) Word Count: 1607 Rating: M - depression; reference to substance abuse/addiction; reference to past trauma and PTSD; heavy drinking; past major character death; some instances of language; spoilers for Bad Samaritan

Ryne had a date today. A friend of a friend, blind date set up by Alexi because they were worried about her. And she understood why. After all, it had been two years where she excelled at her job and then went home to sit, still numb, in an empty apartment. 

She put on a dress that was admittedly one she wore for court but at least had a little bit of color to it, and did her makeup. She smiled, forced and bright, when he came to meet her at the door and walk her to the car. She made the small talk and asked all the right questions you’re supposed to ask on a date. They settled into conversation that was almost natural even, and if she laughed at a corny joke or two, who would blame her?

By the time she got in his car so he could drive her home again, she was almost thinking it had gone well, considering giving him her number, or a kiss on the cheek and a promise that they would do this again. The voice in the back of her head was quiet, the guilt and pain not consuming her for the first time in a long time. 

And then a sound crackled through static-y speakers that brought it all crashing down. Suddenly she was in an entirely different car, a beat up old black sedan, as the autumn rains (as opposed to the spring, summer, or winter ones) pounded on the roof and windows, adding a second drumbeat to the singing inside. She bit the inside of her cheek hard enough to bleed, praying that her date didn’t notice the tears in her eyes. 

“I had a good time tonight,” he said with a hesitant smile as they rolled to a stop outside her building. “Alexi was right. Can we…do this again next week?”

“I–” she felt like a hand was choking her. 

“Or just any time, I didn’t mean to put pressure on you or make you feel like we have to go out again right away or anything! I really like you though.” 

“I have to go,” she finally managed to get out, the words opening a floodgate.“I’m sorry. You seem really nice. And I had a fun time tonight I promise. I’m just a terrible girlfriend, and a horrible person honestly. I was completely stringing you along and I shouldn’t be dating. You deserve someone better than me.” 

Before he could protest, she threw open the door and bolted from the car, tripping over herself in her rush to get inside, where she was alone and therefore safe to release the sob that was resting like a bubble in her chest. 

~

Sometimes she thought her weekly phone call with Katie was the only thing that kept her from falling apart at the seams. The pair had struck up an easy friendship after the funeral, and Ryne was always stunned by the other woman's resilience and optimism. No matter what kind of setbacks she had, Katie just kept getting back up and moving forward. She should have felt guilty that she couldn't do the same having been through less, but Katie always reassured her, reminded her that it took time to get there, and she would too someday. 

“Why don’t we do something tomorrow?” Katie suggested, the week after the failed date attempt. “Just the two of us, dinner and drinks or something. That way you’re getting out without any pressure.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Ryne answered, maybe too quickly. “I don’t want to put you out.”

“Put me out? Because I’m inviting my friend out for a girl’s night?”

Ryne chewed on her lip, feeling chastised. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to hang out with Katie, far from it. But she felt guilty and miserable every time she had fun, or thought she might finally be coming up for air from the long, slow drowning she had been suffering. And Katie deserved better than her wallowing.

“I haven’t had to give you an ‘order, not an invitation’ in a while, but you know I will,” Katie’s voice cut through her thoughts, light and teasing but with a hint of sternness that Ryne was used to by now as saying exactly that. They had used it on each other a few times, Katie more often, to pull each other out of the darkest pits. 

“Okay,” Ryne sighed in defeat. “Fine. How about 7?”

“At our usual Thai place. Perfect.”

~

Seven pm rolled around, and Ryne was confident. It had been a good day (although her bar for those was exceedingly low: any day she didn't wake up crying, and the option to cancel all plans and lay in bed forever was considered for only 15 minutes or less. If she actually convinced herself to eat a proper meal for either breakfast or lunch too, it got upgraded to excellent). She was actually looking forward to the night as she got ready, and that alone brought a smile to her face.

Over dinner they drifted through all of the typical topics, laughing and comfortable, as if they were normal friends, not drawn together by the horrors they’d been through. It felt good in a way that part of Ryne had forgotten, some ephemeral warmth trying to fill the hole within her. 

“How are things with Sean?” Katie asked as they wandered from the restaurant to a nearby bar to continue the evening.

“Patchy,” Ryne answered with a shrug. “But he’s doing a lot better for himself, so it helps.” 

“Oh yeah?”

Ryne nodded. “The new treatment is doing wonders for his headaches and the muscle spasms. And rehab helped with a lot of the other stuff. He and Riley are still trying the long distance thing, which I think is a mistake for both of them, but I’m about the last person who should be giving relationship advice.”

Katie laughed, holding open the door. “Sometimes it’s the people that do the worst for themselves that are best at helping others.”

The pair sat down, pausing their conversation to order drinks, leaning close to the sticky bartop in order to be heard over the truly terrible band in the far corner. 

“Those who can’t do, teach?” Ryne asked, lips nearly touching the shell of Katie’s ear.

“Exactly!” 

“Rude.” She paused to take a sip, letting the sharp whiskey and tangy syrup coat her tongue and dance across her tastebuds before burning a path down her throat. “He’s coming for Christmas, so maybe we can do lunch or something, all of us.”

“That would be great.” 

Katie raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything at Ryne’s phrasing. It was possible that the younger woman was just including Katie’s husband into the invitation, but she knew her well enough to know it was far more likely it was the young man she couldn’t let go of, likely already planning on lunch turning into a picnic on Derek’s grave, or a walk there after it. 

“I’m sure he’ll be thrilled to see you.” Ryne smiled, and Katie nodded almost absently.

~

Conversation and drinks continued to flow, Ryne’s faster than the other woman’s, until Katie had lost track of how much she’d had. It would have been worrying if she hadn’t been a little drunk herself, and if Ryne didn’t seem happier than she had in the entire time they’d known each other. 

And Ryne was happy. Maybe it was the alcohol, or the way the band in the corner provided a safe undercurrent of white noise that blocked out the worst of her thoughts. Maybe it was all just pretend, but it felt real and solid, for one blissful moment she wasn’t thinking of Derek or Sean or Cale or everything that had been lost and the black hole that had replaced it. And then something struck her and she had a pretty good idea why she was feeling this way.

Suddenly, with a wash of calm and certainty that she hadn’t had in so long, her hands were cradling Katie’s face, and their lips were pressed together, and her cheeks were damp with her own tears. 

Her mind raced. Katie was her friend. Katie was married. Katie was straight, as far as she knew. It didn’t matter, it couldn’t in that moment, for a moment. She pushed all of those thoughts away and tried to focus on the feeling of kissing someone and the chance that things might be right again. 

The other woman didn’t move, as Ryne kissed her, meeting desperation without answer or retreat. It was almost as if time had frozen and only Ryne remained able to react. And then something clicked back into the rational part of her mind.

“Fuck. I…” she broke the kiss with her friend, eyes wide with horror. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what I…I shouldn’t have…I’m sorry.” 

Katie shook her head as her own shock faded. “Don’t wor–”

“God I’m so fucking stupid. I should never have,” Ryne cut in, berating herself over whatever reassurance Katie might have offered. “I’m…I’m a horrible person.” 

Her skin felt too tight as she turned on her heel and fled, getting several blocks before she realized that not only had she kissed Katie and then stuck her with the bill, but she was going the wrong direction, and would have to pass the bar again to get home.

Her back thudded heavily into the brick of the nearest building and she sank down it with a sob, knees tucking up into her chest and face buried in her hands.

[angst-fairygodmother]

Beginning Forever ~ An Idiot (Affectionate) Story

A/N: This is better. This is what I meant to be writing earlier this week. And it’s been a long time coming, considering I started it before I even finished the series. Grade A Fluff. Please accept it as my apology. Word Count: 2001 Rating: PG-13 - minor references to the plot of Bad Samaritan; some instances of canon-typical language, innuendo

“I’ve been thinkin, man,” Derek started hesitantly, bouncing their soccer ball on his toe.

“That’s never good,” Sean laughed. “Should I call Ryne and warn her?”

“No!” There was a note of panic in Derek’s voice before he settled again. “I mean, she’s kinda what I’ve been thinkin about.”

“Kinda?”

“I guess it’s definitely about her, and us? I dunno man.”

“Is this going to make me uncomfortable?”

“No, nah. It’s not about that. I don’t talk about our sex life with you anymore, man.”

“I don’t even like you using the phrase 'our sex life.'” Sean made a face of disgust.

“Come on, dawg. I’m trying to be serious right now.”

“Are you thinking about breaking up with her? Cus I want to know that even less than I want to know about...that other stuff.”

“What? No! Never! Actually, it’s...the opposite of that.”

Derek had never been nervous talking to Sean before. But he was protective of Ryne, and Menace was the only living being whose opinion she valued more. He couldn’t exactly ask the damn cat if she’d say yes or if he was stepping too far, though.

“The opposite…? You mean,” Sean’s eyebrows shot up, practically into his hair, “you’re thinking about proposing to her?!”

“Yeah. I mean, maybe. It’s not like I went out and bought a ring or nothin yet, but, I love her and…” he shrugged. “I kinda like the idea of it, you know?”

Sean stared at his best friend, dumbfounded. It had been a little weird at first, when Ryne and Derek had first gotten together. But he’d done his best to be supportive, and he did think they made a good, if unusual, match. And then everything had gone down with Erendrich. He was almost certain his best friend wouldn’t have made it through that without Ryne. Two years on from a miraculous survival and more recovery than anyone expected him to ever make, the idea of the two of them maybe made more and more sense the more Sean considered it. And he had a good feeling she was probably on the same page. If Derek asked, he’d bet money on the answer being yes.

“I think you should go for it,” he said, trying to stay casual. “You two are in a good place…” he shrugged.

“Yeah,” Derek grinned. “Yeah, we are. I never thought I’d find someone like her. She’s something really special, dawg.” 

Sean couldn’t help rolling his eyes. “You’ve been saying that since before you got the nerve to even ask her out.” He gestured at the ball still resting under Derek’s shoe. “You ever gonna kick that, man?”

“Didn’t realize you were in such a rush to get ya ass beat. Alright.” Derek laughed.  

~

Having the ring — the ring that he’d spent weeks shopping for, just to end up going back to the first one that had caught his attention, which he just knew somehow was right but had moved on from, trying to channel Ryne and consider all the options — made it so much harder to wait for the perfect moment. 

He had almost asked three times this morning alone: first when he woke to find her cheek and hand resting on his chest, hair splayed out around her and a peaceful smile looking back at him; then over breakfast as she, with almost childlike glee, presented him with bacon and eggs that she had proudly cooked, without much burning; and finally not even an hour ago as they’d both dropped the chores they were meant to be doing in order to throw themselves into a dramatic dance and duet (she had really turned his opinion around on musicals, and the song they were singing was even the perfect one to create a Moment). The fact that he’d been able to keep it in, controlling the impulse, felt like as much a testament to his improvement over the last several years as any medical test could be.

He was surprised by how not nervous he was, instead feeling giddy with excitement. He couldn’t wait to see Ryne’s face, that dazzling smile he sometimes thought was reserved exclusively for him or the way her eyes crinkled as the most definite sign she was actually happy. His heart fluttered just imagining it, and he almost let the words tumble right then. Luckily he had a plan, and wouldn’t have to wait much longer.

~

“Are you ready to go?” Ryne asked, wrapping her arms around his middle and resting her chin on his shoulder. He was quite obviously not, still in the middle of washing dishes (somehow she had convinced him to do them, yet another sign of just how much he loved her honestly). “Aunt Patty said dinner at 2:30.”

He reached up, teasingly tapping the end of her nose, leaving suds behind as she pulled away, scrunched up adorably and shaking her head. She stuck her tongue out at him. 

“Ten minutes, I swear,” he said, laughing at her reaction before turning back to the sink.

She sighed in mock-frustration. “Is taking forever your attempt to get me to stop asking you to do chores? Because it’s not going to work.”

“If you keep distracting me, I'm never going to get done.”

“I'm not even doing anything!”

“Yes you are. You're standing there lookin so sexy wit your fine self. How'm I supposed to do anything but look at you?”

“Well, then. If that's your excuse, I'll be in the bedroom and you can tell me when you're ready to leave.”

“Threaten me like that and I'll be wanting to skip dinner and go someplace totally else.” Derek smirked and wagged his eyebrows at her.

Ryne scoffed in answer, looking somehow both amused and annoyed. “You're impossible. I for one am not going to be late because you can’t think with the head on top.” She turned on her heel and he couldn't help but laugh, until he realized she was actually headed for the door.

Immediately he set the sponge down to give chase. “No wait, baby, don't go. I'm sorry. You know I'm just playing. I swear I'm almost done and we can go. We won't be late, I promise.”

She smiled as he caught her around the waist and pulled her in. “You're lucky I love you enough to pretend I believe that.”

~

The family had made a tradition of celebrating the anniversary of that final encounter with Cale. Patty said that it was because everyone had made it through, and they should all be grateful; Katie (who had been deemed an honorary Falco along with her husband Matt) called it Liberation Day. From the outside, given the trauma it had left four of them with - both physically and emotionally - it might have seemed odd and morbid, but to them, that they all even could gather still, was a victory.

Ryne kissed her aunt’s cheek and gave Katie a hug in greeting, while Derek clapped Don on the shoulder and moved to help set out the food that had just finished as they arrived (and she pretended to ignore his little “I told you so” smile). Table prepared, he had a moment to pause, while drinks were being poured and seats hadn't been taken. 

He looked at Ryne, practically glowing, warm and bright and happy, as she laughed at something Patty said. It took his breath away, even more than usual, how beautiful she looked in the casual moments. He swallowed nervously. Something in his gut telling him that now was it. 

Sean seemed to agree, his best friend appearing at his side and discreetly offering him the little box with a raised eyebrow and a reassuring nod. Derek took it in shaking fingers (good shaking for once), not even questioning when his friend managed to get it from his coat pocket, and licked his lips nervously.

Ryne was oblivious to the exchange going on at the other side of the dinner table. To her, it was a normal dinner and a normal day, never once suspecting that Derek had anything going on. So much, that it took Katie trailing off and nodding at something over her shoulder before she noticed him. 

“Wha–” she didn’t finish the word before Derek slowly sank to a knee, smiling at her. 

He cleared his throat and everyone’s attention was on them. The room fell silent, as if they were all holding their breath, and she knew she certainly was, as he held out the little box. Words failed him, so he just kept his grin in place and raised an eyebrow, hoping his face would say it all.

“What no big speech?” Rowen drawled, cutting the tension and shocking him back into words. 

“Nah,” Derek shook his head, “I don’t need one. Which is good. I wouldn’t have one even if there weren’t a hole in my brain anyway. How do you put perfect into words?”

“Derek…” Ryne's heart raced as she stared at her boyfriend and the delicate band of gold and peridot and tiny black pearls sitting cushioned in velvet.

“I love you, so fucking much baby girl. So I gotta ask, Ryne Cassidy, will you spend the rest of your life with me?”

“Oh Derek,” she reached for him, tears welling up in her eyes and cheeks aching from the width of her smile. He let her guide him into a standing position, pressing their foreheads together so that they were looking at each other, the only two people in the world. “I love you.”

“Is that a yes?” his voice had dropped down to a whisper, breath tickling her face. 

She nodded, emotions racing too hard for words, and faintly they heard Rowen making a crack about neither of them knowing how to speak, but to them it was all background noise.

He let out a whoop, picking her up and spinning her around, before setting her back on her feet. She was laughing, and crying, and everyone in the room joined in on their celebration. Patty rushed to get out a bottle of sparkling cider she had been saving for a special occasion, and Sean picked up the box that had been dropped in the excitement, handing it to Derek for a second time. He took it, Ryne’s laughter even harder now, shaking her whole body, as she held out a hand and let him slip the ring onto her finger.

“And you know I was askin you to marry me right? Not just like…keep going like we have been…?”

The others chuckled and he bit his lip, and somehow Ryne smiled even brighter. 

“I did. I do. Absolutely yes.”

“This is the best day of my life,” he told her, leaning in to kiss her.

She sighed, melting into him as their lips pressed together, wrapping an arm around his neck to keep steady.

“Gross!” Rowen called out with an exaggerated gag.

“Ey, shut up kid,” Derek teased, breaking the kiss to swing playfully at the seventeen-year-old, who ducked the gesture and took off.

Ryne laughed, watching her fiancé chase her cousin through the dining and living rooms in the sort of mad dash hijinks that would normally have had Patty banishing them to the yard. Sean came to stand beside her, bumping her shoulder lightly.

“I'm really happy for you,” he said softly, smiling. “Both of you. I couldn't think of two people better suited, or more deserving.”

“Thanks, Sean,” she answered in a matching murmur. “That means the world. But you'd better start thinking fast about who you love more.”

His eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

“You can only be best man for one of us.”

“Oh god, I take everything back!” He laughed. “You can't get married. Just stay engaged forever.”

She gave him a playful shove, almost initiating a second wave as Derek and Rowen were finally settling down again. “It’s too late for that now,” she teased, “you already said you approved.”

[angst-fairygodmother]

Snow Angels ~ An Idiot (Affectionate) Story

A/N: A self-requested/self-indulgent winter fic using the prompts “There’s no such thing as Christmas Magic.” and Snow Angels and a little bit of First Snow. This was meant to come out for the solstice (and is set on that date), but nothing ever goes as planned. Word Count: 2120 Rating: T - pregnancy/birth and complications of, hospitals, mild language, references to Bad Samaritan, angst

“Heeey, how're my three favorite people in the entire world?” Derek asked, cradling his phone between his shoulder and ear. 

“Derek, you need to come home,” Ryne answered through gritted teeth. Her tone made him go cold, dropping the cleaning rag and straightening, holding the phone in a tight grip. 

“Baby girl, are you okay? What's wrong?”

He heard her take a few deep breaths. 

“Our children,” a stifled noise of pain, “have decided they will not be, ow fuck, missing Christmas. And I need their father here.”

“What?” He couldn't figure out what she was saying but he felt like it was important and cursed himself for having a block now of all times.

“Derek. I. am. in. labor. Come home. Now.”

“SHIT!”

His mind went from too slow to every alarm bell ringing at once. He scrambled for his coat and keys, calling out to whoever else might be in the kitchen still that he needed to leave. It took him skidding and nearly falling on his ass across the parking lot for him to even realize that it had started to snow. 

“You still there?” He said into the phone that he pulled back out of his pocket. 

“Yes.” Ryne sounded annoyed and for some reason that made him smile.

“Listen, I'm on my way, I swear. But the weather's real bad. I want you to call Sean or Aunt Patty or an ambulance or somethin. Just in case I gotta meet you at the hospital.”

“No. No you need to be here. Derek, you promised you'd be beside me the whole time. This is part of the whole time.”

The mood swing made his heart leap into his throat. 

“I know. Please don't cry. I know I did. But it sounds like our babies have ideas of their own. And whose fault's that gotta be?”

“Yours,” she grumbled. “Yours and your stupid penis's. I hate you.”

He laughed. “I love you too. But I gotta hang up so I can watch the road. And you gotta call a backup plan okay? I promise, I'll be there soon.”

~

Derek was worried, and doing a terrible job of not showing it. He was glared at several times by nurses and other patients alike for pacing, so he sat, leg jiggling rapidly. He was never a nail biter, but he was right now, edges torn ragged. It had been over two hours since he was kicked out of the delivery room, and he didn't know much about childbirth but a father being told "Sir, you need to leave" certainly seemed like a really bad sign. His whole world was in that room and he felt sick; he didn't know what he'd do if...he couldn't even think it. 

He hadn't prayed in years, everything that had happened with Sean and Katie and that monster shaking his faith beyond repair. He found himself falling into old habit now, lips moving silently and one hand around the cross he still wore on his neck. He was still begging a God he wasn't sure of when a doctor came out and called his name.

“What's going on?” he demanded before the other man could speak. “Are Ryne and the babies okay?”

“It is not uncommon for twins to come early, but given how early they were, there were some unexpected complications,” the doctor explained.

Derek felt his stomach doing flips, and had to resist grabbing him by his bright white lapels and shaking him until he gave a straight answer.

“Your daughters are alright now, but we've sent them to the NICU as a precaution. You can go see them shortly.”

There was a pause. His ears were ringing too much to even register the word 'daughters' yet. The doctor hadn't mentioned Ryne, and his face looked like he'd eaten the world's sourest lemon. Derek's vision blurred.

“What about my wife?” He asked, voice thick with fear. 

“There's no need to panic sir, but as I said, there were complications. She's currently still in surgery, and we'll be able to update you on her condition soon.”

The air was knocked out of his lungs and it was all he could do to stay standing.

“She's gonna be okay though, right doc?”

“Mr. Sandoval, she's still in surgery. I'm not at liberty to make guesses right now.”

A nurse emerged, glanced around, and made a beeline for them. She whispered something into the doctor's ear and left again.

“What? What is it?”

“The twins are clear, though they will remain under observation for a time, and one of them had to be set up with a UV lamp, if you'd like to go see them?”

He nodded numbly, trying to hold the fact that his babies were okay, and that Ryne was tough enough to survive anything, in his mind as he followed the doctor. 

“We will also need some information for the birth certificates, including names, if you have them picked out. I'm sure one of the nurses will help you with that.”

~

Snow fell in slow, fat flakes outside the window. Derek cradled one of his daughters in his arms, her sister sleeping nearby. He knew that she would need to go back into the crib soon, but he wanted to make the most of every second holding her. It made him feel calmer, knowing they were okay and not going to disappear in a puff of smoke, at the same time that it frightened him. How could someone be so small, and so utterly dependent on him, of all people?

As if sensing his thoughts, she opened her (slightly yellowed) eyes to squint up at him.

“Hello, Frijolita,” he hummed, smiling and stroking a finger over her face. 

She made a soft, pleased coo, her tiny arms and legs pumping once. He chuckled, feeling his heart escape and fly straight to her grasp with just that one little noise. His eyes drifted to the window again and he shifted her, tilting her upward so she could see, even though he knew it didn't mean anything to her yet. 

“Do you see that out there, Sorsha?” He asked in a whisper. “That stuff falling from the sky is called snow. Mami loves the snow. Lord only knows why when she's always complainin how cold she is.” He kissed the top of her peach-fuzzed head. “She's going to be so excited to meet her two perfect snow angels.”

Sorsha cooed again, squirming until he moved her around to a spot she seemed to like. He found himself humming 'Winter Wonderland' and rocking her gently to the tune until yet another nurse stopped by, telling him she had been out from under the lamps for as long as allowed. 

~

He was back in the waiting room, always the fucking waiting room, dozing fitfully when he was startled awake by a light tap on his shoulder. Night had fallen outside and there were very few people left in the room. 

“Derek,” the nurse who was waking him, one he had gotten to know quite well over these hours, smiled at him, “I'm about to go on a break, but I thought you'd like to know that Ryne is out of surgery now. She should be waking up soon and then you'll be able to see her.”

It felt like the words lifted a massive weight from him and he almost could have kissed her for them. 

“Can you tell me anything else?”

She pressed her lips together in a thin line, “I should let the doctor fill you in on the details...but she's really strong, and should have no problem recovering now that she’s out of the worst of it.”

“Thank you,” he sighed in relief.

“Of course. I always like delivering the good news.” She patted him on the arm. “I don’t want to tell you what to do, but I know Alma is awake, and they’re in sync enough already Sorsha probably will be soon, if you want to go be with them until the doctor lets you see your wife?”

“Yeah, I can’t sleep anyway. Thanks again.”

“Happy Holidays, you and your new family, Derek.”

~

“Hey, Mama,” Derek said, entering the hospital room, practically shaking from holding himself back, the urge to rush to Ryne’s side, to hold her and never let go, nearly overwhelming him. “How are you feeling?”

“I hate you, and we’re never having sex again, and I feel like crap,” she pouted.

“Okay. If that’s what you want.”

Despite her threat, she gave in happily when he reached her and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips. He sat down in the high-backed rocking chair pulled close to the bed and took her hand. 

“How are they?” she worried her lip between her teeth.

“Sleeping soundly. They’ve got a special crib so that Alma can sleep next to her, and Sorsha’s under a heat lamp thing like a little rotisserie chicken. It’s pretty adorable actually.”

“Did you just compare one of our daughters to a grocery store ready-meal?”

“What? No. I would never!” he bluffed, both of them laughing until the movement made Ryne grimace. 

His thumb traced over the dye spots on her hand and arm, showing where they'd tried to mark a vein. A quiet settled over the room. 

“You finally got me back huh?” He asked softly. 

“What?” She frowned, sounding sleepy and confused.

“For, you know….Erendreich.”

“I–”

“You scared the shit out of me baby,” he pressed a kiss to her hand, holding it tight in his own. “They wouldn't tell me nothin and you were in surgery for so long…” 

He wasn't sure when she'd gotten blurry, didn't even notice until she was sighing his name in that way of hers and pulling her hand from his to wipe the tears from his face.

“I don't think I coulda done it without you.”

“Done what?”

“Survived. Then or now.”

“Oh, my love. You would have. Back then, you had something to prove,” she smiled. “God we both did. And now…those girls are going to make you forget I even exist, you'll be so busy being an incredible father. You would have been okay.”

“Let's not test that, ever.”

“Deal. Now can you do me a favor?”

“Anything.”

“Go find a nurse and see how much longer I have to wait to meet the tiny people I just expelled from my body?”

He laughed, shaking his head at her. “And you got mad at me for calling her a baby chicken.”

“Nothing I just said is untrue,” she blinked at him. “And it was the fact that she was a baby chicken dinner, you asshole.”

The response made him laugh harder, and then even more at her pout until he couldn't breathe. 

“Derek, please? You've had hours with them already. I want to meet our daughters.”

The distress in her tone made him pause. 

“Fuck, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be...I'll go see.” He kissed her, cradling her face in his hands as he did. “I love you, ya know, right? Alway will. More than anything.”

“I do. I love you too.”

~

Derek had managed to squeeze himself into the hospital bed beside Ryne and her head rested on his shoulder. Each of them cradled one of the babies, their tiny bodies swaddled completely in matched purple blankets. Sorsha slept soundly, already looking more the color one would expect a baby to be, and Alma stared up at her parents with bright, round eyes, one set of tiny fingers escaping the swaddle to clutch meaninglessly at the blobs that swam around her. 

“How are you so perfect?” Derek asked in an awed whisper. “Our perfect babies.”

“It must be the early Christmas magic in the air.”

“No such thing as Christmas Magic, Mamita, this was all you. Cus you're amazing.”

“Not all me. I can tell you had a hand. They've both definitely got your nose.”

“I'm sorry girls,” he laughed. “You don't deserve that.” 

 She turned her head to kiss her husband's cheek adoringly. “I happen to like your nose. And on them it's a tiny version and cute.”

Derek looked down at Alma. He squinted at her little face, trying to see what she saw. Then he shook his head, not saying but definitely thinking that his wife was crazy. She was way too adorable to look anything like him. 

“This might be the best present ever,” he said almost offhandedly after a moment. “I don’t know how you’re gonna ever beat it.”

Ryne's face crinkled with held back laughter, cheeks reddening. “Well you know what they say about the most special gifts being made with love.”

[angst-fairygodmother]

Late Night ~ An Idiot (Affectionate) Story

A.K.A. part 1 of “Where do babies come from?”

A/N: I am working on the next proper chapter and so forth, but it’s going to be a while, so I wanted to write a little something to tide us all over. Word Count: 976 Rating: M - canon-typical language, mostly implied smut (like a good cutscene, we get hot and heavy and then we fade to black), minor self-doubt/low self-esteem

Ryne rested her face in her hands, grinding her palms into her eyes as if she could scrub out her frustrating human need to sleep. She didn’t even notice the door creaking as her husband slipped into the room. 

“Baby girl, you’re still working?” Derek asked, voice tired and laced with concern, the sound of it making her jump. “It’s almost two in the morning.”

“Is it?” She mumbled. “Shit. You aren't staying up waiting for me, are you?”

“Of course I was. I really like sleeping with my wife.”

“Derek…”

“And sleeping with my wife. But those are hard to do when you never come to bed.”

She waved away his concern, gesturing to the piles of work on the desk. “This case--”

“Will still be there in the morning,” he interrupted, walking closer. “You can’t keep doing this.”

“But--”

By now Derek had crossed the room to stand behind her. He bent down, tilting her chin to meet him and cutting her off with a kiss. His hand remained where it was, resting without any real weight on her neck as he pressed his lips harder against her, expertly slipping his tongue into her mouth and making her melt against him. 

Reluctantly he pulled away, leaving his wife dazed, breathless and wanting him. The hand at her throat slid back to rest on her shoulder, his other rising to mirror it. Slowly he pressed his thumbs into the knotted muscles of her back and smirked as he felt her lean into the touch. 

“I’m worried about you baby, all tense and stressed out,” he hummed as his fingers continued to work, massaging and soothing, roaming her neck, back, and shoulders as he did. “Let me take care of you.”

The more Ryne began to relax, the bolder he became, fingers dipping down the unbuttoned collar of her shirt to tease at the tops of her breasts. She shivered, lip bit to contain herself. Her back arched with a needy moan as he continued his journey down her body. Any hint of subtlety vanished and he slid her bra out of the way to palm her breasts, thumbs teasing across her nipples. He leaned further over her, bringing his mouth to the shell of her ear. 

“Careful baby girl,” he murmured, warm breath tickling her skin. “You keep making that noise and tired or not, I won't be able to resist.”

He licked and teased at the sensitive space below her jaw, continuing to fondle her chest, and she squirmed in her chair, making no effort to even pretend to heed the warning.

“What if I don’t want you to?” she panted, hands reaching for him. 

In an instant, Derek spun the chair so that she was facing him. He planted his hands on either arm, caging her in with his body as he bent to kiss her hungrily. Ryne’s arms snaked around his shoulders, pulling herself flush against him as their tongues tangled. She could feel the way his body strained for hers and it sent a molten wave through her. 

One hand left the arm of the chair to circle her middle, pulling her to her feet and tighter against him, pressing like a single molecule passing between them would kill him. His fingers dug sharply into the soft flesh of her hip and she moaned, louder now despite the muffle of their joined lips.

The chair was abandoned as he turned her again, never breaking the deep, slow kiss as he lifted her. Papers and piles of work were shoved aside by his free hand to clear a space for him to set her on the desk. Ryne caressed his neck and back and writhed before him, wanting more. Gradually he eased up, both their lungs screaming for air as he laid her back. 

She tried to tug him down with her, voice a small plea as she said his name, but he refused, turning to the small strip of skin exposed by the rise of her shirt, nipping teasingly. One hand held hers and the other dipped below her skirt to tease her. 

“Ryne,” he sighed into her skin suddenly, stopping his movements. 

“What’s wrong baby?” she asked, sitting up on her elbows to look at Derek in confusion. 

“This isn’t...I was supposed to get you to come and sleep, not start fucking you on your desk and be another thing keeping you in the office, surrounded by work all the time.” He sounded disappointed in himself, and her heart ached.

“Keep doing what you’re doing and I’ll definitely be coming, and sleeping,” she joked with a quirked eyebrow, hoping that her unsubtle innuendo would break his sudden mood.

“I’m serious. I haven’t been a very good husband.”

“What are you talking about, Derek?” she sat up fully now, reaching for him and pulling him into a hug. “I couldn’t ask for anyone better.”

“That’s not true. You take care of me all the time, and I can’t even do this right.”

She leaned in, kissing him sweetly before pulling back to rest her forehead against his so that their eyes were locked. “You are doing everything right. Being here, reminding me that I have a life and needs. I'm surrounded by work still, sure. But I haven't thought about it for a second. All I'm thinking about is you.”

“But--”

She shook her head, cutting him off with a finger on his lips that he couldn't resist kissing the tip of. 

“No buts,” her legs hooked around his own. “I love you. I need you. Just you. Fuck everything else, it doesn't matter.”

Derek kissed her again, one hand tangling in her hair and the other sliding under her shirt to lift it from her body. 

“I love you,” he murmured as his mouth began to wander her neck.

[angst-fairygodmother]

Ryne: is there anything you regret about your relationship?

(Mute): Not saying something sooner. I know it takes all of that shit to make us who we are and stronger people or whatever, but...it's not fair that we were both right there and so far away. Maybe if I'd told Luba how I felt, things would have been better.

(Bad Samaritan): No. I wouldn't change a thing, even if I could. I mean, I'd love for bad things not to have happened, but that's not really anything to do with Derek and me.

Character Questions

[angst-fairygodmother]

Big News  ~ An Idiot (Affectionate) Story

A.K.A. part 2 of “Where do babies come from?”

A/N: While this is technically a continuation of Late Night either fic can be read alone. And I hope you enjoy! Word Count: 1365 Rating: T Content Warnings: pregnancy, fear of illness, a lot of crying

Ryne shifted anxiously on the exam table, grimacing at the sound of the paper crinkling beneath her, her hands twisted in her lap. She wished that the doctor would come in soon, and that she would stay out forever. 

She was scared, even if she didn't tell Derek just how much when he'd asked that morning if she was okay. She had been too young to know what was going on when she'd lost her mother, but she remembered her being tired and in pain and then gone. So when she made the appointment, she was fully braced for the doctor to tell her the fatigue and headaches were a sign of something serious, that drastic steps had to be taken or her days were numbered. (She attributed the cramps to her fear and the other aches and pains to something in her head.)

It wasn't fair. They'd barely been married a year. She wasn't yet thirty. There were so many dreams and plans ahead of her. After everything they'd been through, the idea of breaking this news to Derek made her feel like she was going to be sick.

The doctor came in. Ryne tried to calm her racing emotions as she explained everything. The doctor nodded sagely and started drawing up an order for bloodwork.

“Now, Kathryn,” the doctor said as she typed, and Ryne suppressed a roll of her eyes at the use of her full name, “you got married about a year ago, is that correct?”

Ryne did the math quickly in her head. “Yeah. A little less than that. Why?”

“And do you and your husband have a...busy marital bed?”

“Are you asking if I have sex with my husband?”

“I don't want to presume what kind of relationship the two of you have, but yes, that is my question.”

“Yeah. We're...I mean we do...pretty regularly…” she found herself tripping over her words suddenly, face growing warm.

“Do you use any methods of birth control?”

“I'm on the pill, but that's it. It's not like either of us has to worry about STIs or anything, we have no other partners.”

“Ah. I'd like to add one more test to the bloodwork then. It'll still take at least a few hours, so we'll call you tomorrow with the results.”

“Tomorrow? What's so serious it has that short a turnaround?” She asked nervously. 

“I don't want to jump to any conclusions, but based on what you've described today, I think you might be pregnant.”

“I...oh.”

Her mind struggled to wrap around the doctor's words. That would be a very different kind of news to break. Her heart skipped a beat. Would he be excited? Nervous? Scared enough to run away?

~

Ryne chewed nervously on her lower lip. It had taken all her willpower not to call her husband immediately when the doctor had confirmed the suspicions shared the day before. But this was news best delivered in person, if only to be able to see Derek's face. 

She thought she might burst by the time he walked through the door that evening. She struggled to maintain her composure, greeting him with a smile and letting him catch her around the waist for a kiss as he passed her in the kitchen.

“Hey baby girl,” he drawled, nuzzling into the side of her neck. “How're you feelin?”

“I'm fine,” she answered maybe too quickly, laying her smaller arms over his. “Today's been good.”

“Really? Cus this morning you seemed pretty sick...you didn't even drink your coffee…”

She could hear the concern in his tone and bit her lip again. 

“Plus you're still kinda pale and look tired. Not that I'm tryin t' insult you or nothin but…”

“I'm not insulted, Derek. You know how much I appreciate you looking out for me. But I promise I'm okay.”  

She fell silent for a long while, just leaning into his touch. She liked this, the casual little moments together, and wanted to savor them while they could. 

“I heard back from the doctor about some of the tests she ran,” she said finally, regretting that she had to break their stillness.

“That was quick,” he hesitated. “Are you...how bad is it? Is it bad? Whatever you need, whatever we gotta do baby, you know I'll take care of you.”

His arms tightened around her waist, a castle against whatever dangers she faced. A sense of calm washed over her then, and she twisted around to face him.

“That depends,” she said, her fingers dancing briefly over the scar on his temple. She met his eyes, finding warmth and love and dedication there, the kind that said he would be on her side through anything. “How do you feel about it not just being the two of us?”

“You mean like a nurse in the house or somethin?”

She giggled, burying her face into his shoulder and unable to stop now that she had started. 

“No, you goof,” she managed eventually. “I don't need a live-in nurse. I mean a baby.”

Derek's face scrunched in a frown of confusion that made her heart flutter. When he remained silent for several long, agonizing minutes, Ryne spoke his name softly, a question. 

“Really?” he asked, the whisper lower than anything she'd ever heard from him before, full of hope and fear in equal measures.

“Yeah,” she said, smiling at him and reaching up to wipe at the tears building in the corners of his eyes. “Really.”

“You're gonna have my baby?”

“Well it's not the second coming of Jesus so it had better be yours. Otherwise there's some weird shit going on.”

“For real?”

“Oh my god Derek,” she laughed. “Yes. For real. Not a joke, not a dream, high nineties percent accurate test. We're going to be parents.” 

The grin that split across his face was dazzling as he whooped and lifted her off her feet, spinning her in an excited circle. 

“I'm gonna be a Dad,” he cheered and laughed before setting her down and repeating the sentence in a subdued and stunned tone. “I guess I should stop calling you baby girl now huh?”

Now it was her turn to frown, puzzled. 

“We don't know yet, it might be a daughter in there, and I can't have two baby girls can I? That'd be cheatin.”

She laughed again, rolling her eyes at her husband's logic. “And if we ever have more than one daughter? What will you do then?”

He opened his mouth to speak and then closed it again, face drawn in careful consideration. Ryne watched the emotions travel across his eyes: the excitement and wonder, the fear, the love. And then suddenly he was ducking down to bury his face in the crook of her neck. Her hands traced soothing patterns wherever they could while she held him, carefully guiding them both through the apartment to the couch without letting go. By the time they were seated, both their faces were wet with tears. 

“I can’t believe this is real…” Derek breathed.

“In a good way, right?” Ryne asked, stomach twisting with nerves, his rollercoaster emotions leaving her scared that he’d settle on ‘abandon ship and run away.’

“Is that a real question? Of course in a good way. In the best way. You’re having my baby. I get to be a Dad. And then you were talkin about maybe more in the future and I just...I love you so much baby girl, and I’m gonna love this kid and you and them are gonna be my whole world.”

His words sparked something in her, the realization that she was really going to be a mom and be able to raise a little life and give them everything she never had, and she had her best friend and partner in crime by her side to do it, and she let out a sob as she threw her arms around his neck. Their lips were salty and wet as they met in their passionate, overjoyed embrace, but neither seemed to care.

“I love you Derek,” she murmured against him.

“Not nearly as much as I love you.”

[angst-fairygodmother]

4 & 10 (sfw) + 13 & 14 (nsfw) for Derek/Ryne & Ollie/Jess?

Living space has a leak! Who fixes it?

Derek and Ryne: Derek is Mr. Fix-it. Or "Mr. Try to fix it and now it's worse and we have to call a professional like I told you we should have in the first place." depending on whether it's leak as in a hole in the roof (the first) or plumbing (the second).

Jess and Ollie: Nikolai? No, they usually just call a professional to start with. It's just smarter/easier.

Any pets? Or plants?

Derek and Ryne: Derek has an herb garden window-box in the kitchen. And she does a decent job keeping an aloe plant and a few small succulents alive for a while. As for pets, they have her cat Menace. And then maybe another cat at some point.

Jess and Ollie: Jess has a dog when they meet and she sticks around for a while longer after that. And then they probably get another one a year or two after Lenore passes. No plants though.

Who’s loud? Who’s quiet? Does one try to make the other louder/quieter? How?

Derek and Ryne: answered here.

Jess and Ollie: She's pretty quiet (mostly gasps and sighs rather than sounds). When she senses he's getting insecure about whether or not he's pleasing her, she'll add in words, but still at a whisper. He's louder than she is, but still not super loud. He does try to tease her into being louder, but he's not very experienced so he's not very good at it. 😅

Lights on or off? Do they look at each other? Or is someone embarrassed?

Derek and Ryne: Lights on and mostly looking at each other. He loves to be able to see her. Sometimes she gets embarrassed and uncomfortable with how he pauses to stare/admire her. She's just not used to that kind of attention.

Jess and Ollie: I feel like they start out lights out probably, because he's nervous and thinks that if she can't see them, she won't notice his "mistakes." But eventually she convinces him that a) she can kind of see him anyway because of the moonlight through the windows and b) she doesn't care about that because she loves him. Then it stops mattering so much.

Ship Questions

[angst-fairygodmother]

New Dad ~ An Idiot (Affectionate) Ficlet

A/N: Two stories in one day? Well yes, because it’s Father’s Day and I needed to counteract the angst with some fluff. Word Count: 548 Rating: G - all fluff all day long; babies; fatherhood; discussion of the events of Bad Samaritan

Derek had never imagined himself as a dad. He never thought anyone would give him the chance. After all, Sandoval men had a reputation for being useless pieces of shit, so any sane, smart woman would cut her losses and handle it on her own. And yet, here he was: married to the most amazing woman he had ever met (and way way out of his league), and staring down at the two little lives they had created. 

He liked watching over them some nights, just to remind himself that they were safe and they were real, rather than happy hallucinations, projections created by his broken mind to make a shit life seem less shit. Not that there should have been any question. They were perfect - perfection most definitely inherited from their mother because there was no way it could have come from him - two nearly identical little bundles, except for Alma's tiny left foot, thrust out into the air no matter how many times he or her mother re-swaddled her. 

He chuckled softly, brushing his fingers over it as he tried to cover it one last time, without waking her. He was worried that she would get cold in the night, that it would wake her or hurt her or make her sick. He was always worried like that. But he wouldn't trade the feeling for the world, not with all that came with it. He had no sooner backed away when she twitched and kicked the hem, returning right back to where she started. 

“Alright then, Princessa,” he murmured, shaking his head with utmost fondness. “You and your mama and your icy toes.”

Sorsha made a small noise and he jumped to her crib on the other side of the room, hoping to check on her and soothe her before she fully woke and disturbed her twin.

“Shh, Frijolita,” he hummed, stroking the side of her face (a gesture he'd learned in the first few weeks that had yet to fail them), “don’t wake your sister.”

Like a switch flipping, she stilled, whatever was troubling her little mind brushed away. He hovered anyway, practically holding his breath as he waited for the next sound. 

“Derek?” Ryne whispered softly from the doorway, a tired crack to her voice. “What are you doing, honey?”

He smiled sheepishly, stepping back. She moved forward to meet him, slipping her arms under his to circle his waist. She pressed a kiss to the space between his shoulder blades and rested her cheek against him. 

“Just...checking on them. I…”

“Worry that if you close your eyes for too long they'll disappear?” 

His hands covered hers and he looked over his shoulder at his wife in the darkened nursery. “Yeah.”

“I understand. Take all the time you need. Just don't stand there all night okay? Come to bed and get some sleep. Playing a benevolent gargoyle isn't going to get you out of helping with breakfast duty, Dad.”

He felt Ryne muffle her teasing laugh on his skin, and tightened his hold, silently asking her to stay. When she didn't move, he took her wrist and tugged under so that she was tucked against his side now. 

“Just a minute longer,” he murmured and she nodded.

“Yeah, one more minute sounds good.”

[angst-fairygodmother]

Giants Bowling ~ An Idiot (Affectionate) Story

A/N: I wrote the Baby Chickens. But like little people and you’ll have to supply your own toddler accent, it is not provided by the text. Lyrics from “Dark Dark Eyes” by Marian Call Word Count: 1080 Rating: G - pure, vomit-rainbows domestic fluff; children; thunderstorms

Ryne sighed, shifting closer to her husband and his unfailing warmth. The window rattled, storm raging outside it with howling winds and rolls of thunder she could almost feel. Normally, she didn't mind this kind of weather, but it had been a long week and she was tired, and it was loud. Not to mention the draft that managed to creep in no matter how well-sealed they tried to make the house.

She pressed her chilled nose to Derek's exposed ribcage, giggling as he yelped and squirmed away. 

“Jesus Christ, Mama, you're ice!”

“And you're warm,” she mumbled, “it works out.”

“I could think of a way to make you nice and warm…” She could hear the smirk in his voice and it sent a thrill through her.

Immediately she craned her neck up her lips questing for his, and sighed happily when they connected. One of his hands tangled into her hair and the other gripped the soft flesh of her side as she rolled on top of him. Teasingly her hips undulated against his and he groaned into her mouth. 

His lips trailed downward, just finding her pulsepoint and making her sigh when the bedroom door creaked open. Both of them froze. 

“Daddy?” A tiny, whimpery voice asked from the darkness. “Mommy?”

With choreographed ease, Ryne rolled off to the side and Derek shimmied into a pair of shorts discarded by the bedside. 

“What is it Frijoita?” he asked at the same time. 

“The sky is too loud,” Sorsha informed her parents as she shuffled over toward the bed, trailing her favorite stuffed bear. “I don't like it.”

Effortlessly, Derek reached down and scooped her into his arms, cradling her close. She sniffled, burying her face against her father as he began to hum comfortingly. 

A few moments later, another voice came from the darkness.

“Mommy! Quick, Sorsha’s gone! She’s got eateded by a dragon!” Alma hissed, her toddler tongue not quite forming most of the sounds correctly. “We gotta fight it and get her back!” The little girl was putting on her bravest face, despite her clear terror at waking up without her twin.

Ryne couldn’t help but laugh.

“Oh, come here my fierce little warrior,” she said, holding out her arms. “Your sister didn’t get eaten. She got scared and came to Mommy and Daddy’s room.”

“But I’m supposed to protect her.” Alma pouted, crawling up into her lap, little body rigid until she saw Sorsha across the mattress. 

Ryne wrapped her daughter in her arms. “And you do a very good job of it. But sometimes, even with a brave sister beside you, you still need your parents, and that’s okay.”

“Because the dragons are big and everywhere?” she mumbled around her thumb now in her mouth, other hand reaching for her sister.

“There’s no dragons! It’s monsters!” Sorsha proclaimed, lifting her head from Derek’s chest and clinging to her other half. “And they’re scary!”

“Monsters?” Derek gasped dramatically. “Is that what you think?”

“Yes Daddy, that’s why the sky’s too loud!” she looked up at her father like he’d grown another head.

“It’s not monsters, it’s giants!” he protested. 

“Giants?” Alma asked, her eyebrow raising just like her mother’s, skeptical already at the tender age of two and half.

“Yup. That’s what all that racket is. They’re having a bowling tournament. The lightning is the lights that go off when they get a strike, and the rain is the tears they cry when they lose.”

“That’s not true, Daddy.”

He gasped. “It’s totally true! I swear.”

“Nu-uh. It can’t be.”

“Yeah Daddy,” Sorsha said, joining her sister’s team, her tone an infant version of Ryne’s ‘present your evidence’ voice. “The rain’s not big. And giants would have really big tears.”

Derek frowned, considering this point, and Ryne flashed a wink at him over their children’s heads. 

“Giants do have really big tears,” she explained, taking over the yarn, “when they first fall from their eyes. But then they hit the clouds. Which are made by the fairies out of magic and laughter to protect us.”

“Because if a giant tear fell straight to earth it’d wash us all away!” Derek concluded dramatically. 

Both girls gasped at the tale, looking up with wide eyes as another peel of thunder clapped. 

“Those giants are really good bowlers,” Alma observed, blinking owlishly.

“I wish they’d stop. It hurts my ears,” Sorsha pouted, burrowing back into Derek. “I’m never gonna sleep again.”

“How about if Daddy sings you a song?” Ryne suggested, brushing a hand over her curls. “Daddy’s songs are the best magic of all, after all.”

“Okay!” she clapped, bouncing excitedly at the prospect, and Derek chuckled.

“Mommy,” Alma asked through a yawn. “Can we stay here with you and Daddy? In case it’s really dragons?”

“So that we can fight them together?” Ryne asked knowingly and Alma nodded. “What do you think Dad?”

He smiled, shifting Sorsha onto the middle of the bed between them, as Alma slid over, curling around her sister. 

“I think, just for tonight, that sounds perfect. After all, if its dragons we’ll all need to fight them together.”

Once the girls were settled, the two adults laid down, framing them. Ryne kissed each of their heads and pulled the covers up over all four, as Derek propped himself up with one fist and began to croon.

You don't know how lovely you are Sweet sweet soul With dark dark eyes

Ryne smiled as she caught her husband’s eyes, the tender look in them making it clear that the song was for their daughters’ but the lyrics were for her. She swallowed past the lump in her throat as the love she felt in that moment threatened to overwhelm her and joined in gently with the next verse.

You don't know how dangerous you are Sweet sweet soul With small small hands

With a chirp, Menace hopped up onto the bed, picking his way carefully up and settling on the pillow over the girls’ heads, watching protectively over his kittens and purring. 

But I'll sing you every known love song Until you can sleep through the night I'll stay by your side if you'll have me, love I'll hold you until you don't fight Oh, I wish you could see what I see Sweet sweet soul Dark dark eyes

Slowly, one by one the Sandoval family drifted off to sleep as the storm battered their house, safe and warm and together.

[angst-fairygodmother]

24, 28, 35 & 39 for Ryne and Derek uwu

24. Who remembers things?

Definitely Ryne for the day-to-day stuff. Although in Derek's defense...he has a hole in his brain. And he still remembers what's really important. (Mostly. It's imperfect but the fact that he tries is key.)

28. what kind of stuff can be found around their place?

I assume this means what makes up most of their "clutter."

Mugs (often still partially full), photos, cat toys (and later baby toys), Derek's shoes, chargers/cords, candles. Some other assorted knick-knacks and tchotchkes from places they go together or things they do (physical items to help with keeping the memories).

35. how often do they go on dates?

She doesn't think there's any reason to, given how much everyday time they spend together. But Derek tries to make there be a real date, even if it's just getting dinner out instead of ordering in or something, at least twice a month.

39. how do they spend Christmas and New Year’s (or equivalent family gatherings)?

Holidays are family affairs. Early on its going to Patty and Don's with everyone. But then once they have a house instead of an apartment, they become the ones to host most years, that way his sister can bring her family and both sides can be at one big event. They're smart and make it at least partially potluck so they make the main course and everyone brings sides/desserts. And there is music, and classic movies playing in the background, and a gift exchange, and as long as there's snow on the ground, they have a snowman building contest (that Sean and Derek and Rowan almost always manage to turn into a snowball fight).

New Years is a little bit more of a lowkey event, with friends over and takeout and board games. Most years they watch the ball drop, some they decide to test out those various internet claims that "if you start x at y time, z will happen at exactly midnight."

OTP/Domesticity Questions

[angst-fairygodmother]

3 and 19 for everyone?

3. Who is excited for trimming the Christmas Tree?

Diego and Elena: Elena for sure. And she goes ridiculously overboard with it.

Jess and Ollie: surprisingly relevant to their upcoming fic (stay tuned this week) Oliver is the decorator at Christmas. Tree trimming and also putting things up around the rest of the place, but he does have the Sway raising so it's very careful and precise.

Derek and Ryne: DEREK but Ryne also has fun with it. She gets more into because of him, his excitement is infectious.

19. Who wants a kiss under the mistletoe?

Diego and Elena: Diego maybe? I'm not sure.

Jess and Ollie: Jess, definitely. She tends to be the one more physically affectionate/forward.

Derek and Ryne: Both. He'a probably the more dramatic/will pout if he is denied, though.

Winter OTP Questions

[angst-fairygodmother]

I like to think as they get older, Derek and Ryne take on a bit of a Gomez and Morticia Addams vibe.

After everything they’ve been through, they should be a little macabre and peculiar, but desperately, beautifully in love. 

[angst-fairygodmother]

Flowers ~ An Idiot (Affectionate) Story

A/N: I wanted to continue Ryne’s backstory, especially since my drabble really just raised more questions (and then y’all said you wanted it). Also, this is like super heavy topics, and I tried to tag them all, but please let me know if I missed any or need to make any tags clearer. Word Count: 1914 Rating: M - self-deprecation; discussion of: past emotional abuse, teacher/student (adult/minor) relationship; cheating; manipulation; canon-typical language

“Hey, can we talk?” Derek asked, leaning against her kitchen counter, folding his arms over his chest casually.

Ryne faltered, nearly dropping the bowl she’d been scrubbing. “About what?”

“...that guy. The one that had you sobbing a few days ago.” He flinched at his own bluntness, guilty but unsure how else to put it.

She sighed, setting down the soapy sponge and turning to him. “Yeah. I mean I guess, if you really want to know.”

“You haven't been you since. I’m worried.”

“What do you mean I haven’t been me?” she frowned, bewildered. 

“You’ve been distracted, grumpy, passing up opportunities to insult me even when I leave myself wide open.” He shrugged. “I’ll believe you if you tell me it’s nothing. But I wanna help, if you’re hurting. And I wanna know you, the good and the bad. Please?”

He was asking, but he meant what he said that it was up to her, and she knew that. It was strange, to be that in control, and stranger still, that she wanted to open up. 

She closed her eyes, taking a shuddering, steeling breath. 

“Lucas was...a teacher, not like a teacher-teacher, just someone my uncle knew who he paid to tutor me or whatever, push me further than school could. He was really set on getting me ready to be that whole Ivy League, MBA, 9 to 5 in a three-piece suit, bust my ass to climb the corporate ladder but never actually make it to the top because I have a vagina but hey it looks good for him because he raised me, bullshit.”

“You and Sean really are related,” Derek mused, shaking his head and earning a glare before motioning for her to continue.

“Anyway. He tutored me, and he listened to me, and pretended to give a shit, and told me that I was brilliant and beautiful and special.” She spat the word like it was poison. “No one had ever bothered before. The first time he kissed me was when I got my SAT scores back. And I thought, it didn’t matter that I was...I guess I hadn’t quite turned seventeen yet, or that he was twice that, because I was stupid, and I thought he actually loved me.”

“Ryne…” Derek murmured as he stared, aghast and furious. He knew what she was saying, but couldn’t wrap his head around it. That someone would, or could do something like that, could take advantage and play someone like that, or that she had ever believed, been made to believe, she was less than incredible.

“Lucas?” she called as she opened the front door and poked her head inside. “He-llooo?” 

When she was greeted by total silence in the apartment, she pouted. Sure, she was a little over an hour earlier than she expected to be getting to her boyfriend’s home, but that shouldn’t have been enough time that he wasn’t home. They hadn’t seen each other since the semester started so she had sort of expected him to meet her as soon as she walked in the door, or at least be waiting for her in the living room, but the place was empty.

“I’m just going to grab a quick shower,” she announced to the air, dropping her duffle bag on the couch to deal with later. 

As she passed the bedroom, she heard a sound that made her heart drop into her stomach. Slowly pushing the door opened, she tried to prepare herself for what she knew was on the other side. 

“Kathryn!” Lucas shouted, scrambling to sit up from where he lay tangled with two women in the sheets. 

“I...Lucas...what...why?” she stammered.

“What was I supposed to do Kathryn?” he snapped, glaring. “You weren’t here. I have needs.”

“I was at school for a month...and you didn’t say anything.”

“I shouldn’t need to. If you really cared about me, you’d understand that. You’d have come home on the weekends, or sent me a video. Taken care of me, instead of being so selfish.”

“We should go,” one of the girls said to the other, awkwardly shuffling around with a sheet pulled over her chest to find their clothes. 

The other leaned in, kissing Lucas on the cheek before realizing what she was doing. “I’ll...bye.”

Ryne stared with wide eyes at the scene unfolding before her. It was like something out of a bad dream. The first woman to have to have spoken patted her awkwardly on the shoulder as they scooted past. 

“I had school. I needed to focus, and I...you cheated on me…?” she said, eyes welling with tears. 

“No. Sweetie. It’s not cheating…” Lucas cooed, climbing out of bed and approaching her. “I swear it didn’t mean anything. I love you. I just needed a little relief. You understand don’t you? I’d so much rather it was you.”

He leaned down to kiss her and she turned her head away. Undeterred, his lips sought her neck and she found herself relaxing into his touch like she always did. 

“I really thought it was my fault. Somehow I believed that if I had just given him more, it wouldn’t have happened.” 

She laughed bitterly. Derek wanted to reach out and hold her, but something in her body language told him not to, not yet. It hurt him not to, but now that the floodgates had opened, he could see she needed to tell all of it, and that his comfort would just be getting in her way.

“I don’t even know how you give someone more than everything?” She looked at him, tears in her eyes and confusion on her face, like she was expecting an answer and he shook his head. 

“He begged me to move in with him so we’d have more time together. I convinced myself that whatever I’d done wrong, I could...fix...it. But I couldn’t. And then he was just cheating on me right under my nose, and trying to get me to do things I didn’t want to do. And making me feel like dog shit under his heel was worth more. And somehow, like a moron, I still believed he loved me.” She shook her head in disparagement.

“Hey, don’t do that. Shit. The only one you should be saying anything bad about is this douchebag, not yourself.” 

He decided to reach out anyway, taking her face gently between his hands and using his thumbs to brush away the tears running down her cheeks. 

“Come ‘ere.”

He drew her in, and she gratefully stepped into the protective bubble he formed just by being there next to her. She leaned against him, breathing deeply and taking comfort in his solid warmth. 

“So...you never said what brought you to Boston?” Ryne asked her aunt, tugging the sleeve of her winter coat down further over her wrists and palms.

“I came to see you,” Patty Falco responded flatly. “David told me where to find you. He said you dropped out of Brown?”

Ryne shrugged, staring out over the waterfront instead of meeting her eye. “I couldn’t handle it. I’ll go back…” It sounded unconvincing even to her own ears. “I just need to figure some stuff out first.”

“Stuff like that boyfriend of yours?”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Don’t think I didn’t notice how much older he was than you. Or his over-inflated self-importance. I was worried about you when you didn’t come out for Christmas. You haven’t missed it since you had the stomach flu when you were seven.”

“I know...Lucas didn’t want to go. He wasn’t ready to meet my whole family. We just stayed in and had a quiet holiday. I meant to call but…” 

She looked down, fiddling with her fingers. She didn’t want to lie to her aunt. But how could she admit the truth? How could she say that it had been her idea not to fly out to Portland because she’d want to never come back, because she knew as soon as her family met him they’d pick up on the fact that Lucas didn’t make her happy, if anything he did the opposite. 

“I’m not blind, Ryne.”

She turned her head sharply to look at Patty now, frowning.

“You’re miserable darling. You look exhausted and pale, and like you forgot what smiling is. You dropped out of school. I can list things til the cows come home, but I don’t need to when we both know it. Does he hit you?”

“Aunt Patty it’s not—”

“Don’t tell me it’s not that bad or not what I think. You know better than to lie to your elders. Answer the question.”

“No,” Ryne blinked back tears. “No. It’s all in my head. I’ve just been trying so hard...I...I just wanted him to love me again. If I change, if I do what he wants...”

“He’ll just keep pushing further. Men like that, people like that, aren’t happy until they’ve chipped away everything you are and reduced you to nothing, because it makes them feel powerful.”

“That’s all I’ve got left already.”

“No. It’s not. You have your family. He’s at work right now right?”

Ryne nodded hesitantly. “Yeah. He should have left about twenty minutes ago.”

“Good.” Patty stood up from the bench, holding a hand out for Ryne. “Let’s go.”

“I moved in with them, got my feet back under me, got a job. Reapplied to school, maxed out my summer classes to get back on track. I thought about giving up on higher education, but it just seemed like that was letting him take it all away, make everything pointless. I moved on, and I was...I was good. But seeing him again...it just...I thought I left that and him and everything behind. I haven’t been back, I barely talk to my uncle,” she sighed deeply, “and somehow that bastard still managed to...show up here, in my life.”

She sniffled and buried her face into his chest. He pressed a kiss to her temple and let her, both of them silent for a while.

“Does Sean know?” Derek asked eventually, hesitantly.

“No. He knows that something happened that fucked me up for a while, but not what. And he can’t. You know he gets all...protective or whatever. Even though there’s only a few months between us and I could probably take him in a fair fight.”

Derek laughed. “You don’t fight fair.”

“Yeah, but Sean does, and would believe me if I said I would too. That’s why I can take him.”

“I know some guys from the neighborhood, and we know where he lives now. If you want me to…”

“Derek, no. I just want to forget about it.”

“We could just go round and scare him a bit?”

“No.”

“Okay. Okay. What do you need then? What can I do?”

She shook her head softly, fondly. “You don’t even know how much you already do, do you?”

He gave her a puzzled look.

“I just need you to keep being you.”

“I don’t understand. But if that’s all you want, I think I can manage it,” he said with a half smile and a chuckle.

She tilted her head to look up at him. “And if I need a little more reassurance for a while...or say, more kisses…?”

He leaned down, not quite touching her. “I can definitely do that one.”