#keep natalie entertained

[savingcrxws]

EYES ON FIRE | maybe someday

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synopsis. you and carmen just keep bumping into each other.

word count. 4.3k (gah damn)

warnings. language, hardly proofread again i'm sorry its an addiction

authors note. thank u guys so much for the support in these previous chapters! it’s really amazing to me that u guys enjoyed it so much! i would recommend listening to maybe someday by the cure for this chapter!

“Yeah, Sugar. The appointment is booked for Thursday, the reps will probably be coming in at like…three o’clock,” you mutter, flipping through the manila folder absolutely stuffed with documents and sticky notes. 

You pursue your lips at all you had to get done within this week alone–sign installation permit, permit to replace the hot water heater, permit to fix the ventilation systems, reapply for occupancy capacity signs because of the restaurants lack of other permits, and holy shit…

You completely forgot to schedule the follow-up appointment with the BACP consultant. 

You groan, slamming the thick folder into your forehead, the papers thwacking against your skull. Natalie sounds startled on the other end of the phone, no doubt hearing the sound on her end of the call. She questions if you’re okay, and you only respond with a gentle hum before tossing the folder back down on the office table. 

“Hey, Suge, do you think I can call you back later? I need to schedule a follow-up consultation with Raquel before another rep hops on my ass about the boiler replacement.” 

“Of course, hun, call me back whenever you can,” Sugar starts and you can hear some papers flicking in her side of the call as well.

You had managed to convince her to work from home more often, worried that all the stress from the demolition inside would affect her pregnancy and her overall wellbeing. After some back and forth, she had begrudgingly agreed to spend two days working on the project from the comfort of her own couch. 

And even though she complains still, you know she appreciates she has a little bit more time off of her feet. 

“Don’t work yourself too hard, okay, Bug?” 

You nod, even though you know she can’t see you. “Same for you, Bear.” Sugar hums once again before you both give your goodbyes and end the call. 

You expel all of the air out of your chest in a large puff as you slide down the office chair.

After signing onto Team Bear, your new home-away-from-home had been this tiny office in the back of the restaurant. For the most part, no one came in and disrupted your work, which allowed you to have your head shoved into piles of paperwork, be stuck on phone calls, and be forced to reread legal jargon for hours on end with little interruption. 

Well, as little interruption as there could be with the restaurant quite literally falling apart around you. 

Thankfully, everyone was very respectful of your work in helping the developing business. You were practically putting every ounce of knowledge that you learned from both college and the real-world experience (including connections within the industry) to help push the restaurant closer to the deadline. All the while still dealing with your other commitments to other businesses that you had prior to signing on to this project.

Staying at The Bear for eight hours a day had its benefits, though.

For example, there was always something entertaining going on in the background. Like last Tuesday, when Fak had decided to send a sledgehammer directly into the only remaining wall of the office–sending bits and pieces of drywall onto your clothes.

Another benefit of being stuck in that office chair is that you had an excuse to ignore everyone around you. And by everyone, you really mean Carmen.

After the awkward office run-in last week, the two of you hardly spoke to each other. Sure, there was the ‘hellos’ and ‘goodbyes’ that you threw to each other and the words you exchanged when you caught him up on the status of licensing, but you two had yet to have an actual conversation.

It was clear that the both of you were still walking on eggshells around each other—and everyone could see it. But you had an inkling feeling that Carmen had been wanting to say something, judging by the short glances you sometimes catch him throwing in your direction.

Kinda similar to the one that he’s giving you right now.

You feel the heat of his stare on your face before you see it. He’d been staring at you for a couple moments now, long enough for you to no longer consider it an inquisitive glance.

You peek up from the folder and make solid eye contact with Carmen through the hole in the wall. The man flushes almost immediately, the red color sinking past his collar. You purse your lips and give a small nod of acknowledgment and he stutters in his spot.

And then he’s turning away.

Like he wasn’t the one just staring at you a moment ago.

You roll your eyes and turn back to your original position in the seat. Picking the folder up again, you flick to the papers listing the requirements for the next fire suppression test.

“Men,” you mutter, before picking up your phone and making a phone call.

Three days later, the office is completely demolished and your work revolving around The Bear has been moved to a family-owned coffee shop two blocks over.

In the short span of time, all of the walls in the store had been busted down and the restaurant had practically turned into a hazardous wasteland. And since construction was too far out of your pay grade, you decided to leave the heavy lifting up to everyone else.

“Alright, permit done!” You throw your hands up in the air, your theatrics catching the attention of a couple next to you. You could hardly care for the stares, though, you had been working on getting that permit for the past four days straight. Slamming your laptop shut, you pack up your bags and head off to the cash register to buy another coffee before you go.

While you wait for your drink, you decide to scroll aimlessly through your phone to kill some time.

“Oh shit,” you hear a voice utter behind you, and you barely have time to process the word before something ice cold is running down your back. “Fuck, I’m fucking sorry, I didn’t even see you—“

You gasp on reflex, taking a step forward and shivering. The person who spilled their drink on you is stuttering out apologies. The liquid seeps into the jacket you were wearing and you pull it off immediately.

“Yo, what the fuck, dude,” you curse, watching the large stain of coffee spread even farther across your jacket. “Watch where the hell you’re walking—”

In the middle of trying to give the perpetrator a piece of your mind, you failed to recognize the familiar sound of the voice that was spewing apology out of apology. But in a second, your eyes met a recognizable set of blue and you halted your words.

In front of you stands Carmen Berzatto. In his signature colored sweater and a half-spilled cup of coffee in his hand.

And he looks petrified.

It seems he didn’t realize just who was the unlucky victim to his americano attack either until you turned around. His mouth agape, he utters out a jumbled apology, glancing back at you, your stained jacket, and the cup in his hand like his brain was still trying to understand what just happened.

“Uh-uh, fuck, sorry, I swear this wasn’t on purpose,” he rambles, placing his cup on the counter behind you and grabbing some napkins right after. He steps back towards you and shoves his hand of napkins to you. “Here, shit, I’m so sorry.”

You sigh, taking the napkins from him, noting the slight tremor that persisted in his hands as you did so. Taking in a slow breath, you close your eyes and count to ten before responding. “It’s okay, Carmen. Don’t worry about it.”

And even though you tried to maintain your peace, you can hear the annoyance seeping out of your words. Carmen glances around the counter before looking back at you and your soaked jacket. You know he probably wants to apologize some more, but honestly, one more apology might land him with a punch to the gut. 

Just as he opens his mouth, you raise your free hand, silencing him immediately. You shake your head in dismissal before taking the napkins offered to you and blotting the coffee out of the fabric of your jacket. Carmen simply stood in his place, watching you, seeing if he could do anything to redeem himself in this situation. 

However, after they called your name for your drink order, you dumped the used napkins in the trash, took your drink and hightailed it out of the café without one more word to the man. 

After the coffee shop incident, you swear that you started to see Carmen everywhere. 

You needed a quiet place to plan outside of your house so you went to one of the local libraries. Guess who’s walking outside the building?

You need a late night snack and decide to hit up the corner store. Guess who’s in the refrigerated section?

Hell, you decide to stay late at The Bear for some last minute checkups? Guess who forgot to grab a few things before leaving that night?

You swear that before you hopped on The Bear train, you never even saw a glimpse of the man. Sure, you lived relatively near the restaurant, but Chicago is fucking huge, there’s no way you would run into one of the few people that you’re trying to avoid. 

Absolutely not, apparently. 

Finally finishing up the weekly budget report and estimate for the following weeks till open, you decide to take a step away from work for a second and give your brain some time to breath. 

“Hey, Syd, if anyone needs me, I’m outside taking a smoke break, ‘kay,” you yell across the restaurant, receiving a thumbs up from her from the other side of the room. “Be back in 15!”

Reaching into your bag, you pull out a pack of cigs and a lighter before heading to the back entrance of the restaurant. You place the cigarette between your lips and head to the backdoor. Stepping out and around the alley to the designated smoke corner, you fiddle with the lighter switch, hearing the light sizzle but seeing no flames emerge. 

You groan, flicking the lighter again and again and still no lig–

“Umm, uh, you need a light?”

You scream, your heart almost skipping a beat and falling out on the concrete below you. In your alarm, both your cigarette and the lighter drop on to the ground. "Shit," you mutter and throw a glance over at whoever had scared the living shit out of you and, surprise suprise . . .

There was Carmen, standing in the alley a few feet away from the door. One leg was kicked up to rest his foot against the wall behind him and a cigarette hung loosely between his fingers. His eyes trailed across you for a second, then he glanced at the cigarette on the ground before taking another draw from his own and staring out the wall in front of him.

If you had half of the energy, you would tell him off for scaring the shit out of you and book it out of the enclosed space.

Lucky for Carmen, however, you really needed that cigarette.

Reaching back into your bag once more, you pull out another cig and walk slowly over to the man. Your steps gain his attention once again and when your eyes met you gestured to the lighter hanging out of his cooking apron.

He grabs the lighter and hands it to you. As you reach out to grab it, your fingers brush against his knuckles. Some quick thought in the back of your head wishes that that physical interaction lasted a little longer, but you're quick to shoo that away into the deep recesses of your mind.

Lighting your cigarette, you hand the lighter back to him before taking a drag. Blowing the smoke out, you slid down the wall until you could lean back into a squat against it.

The two of you just stand there, in complete silence aside from the occasional cough from an improper pull. This quiet isn't nearly as awkward as the first run-in the two of you had. Maybe it's because of the nicotine or maybe it's because continuously running into Carmen over these past days had subconsciously made you a little more comfortable with his presence.

. . .

Nah, it definitely had to be the nicotine.

You glance up at Carmen, who continues to smoke even though his stick had turned into a bud a while ago. You make note of the new tattoos that run down his arms and hands, eyes stopping at the rose flower tattoo on his left hand.

You remember when he got that one done with you at the parlor for his eighteenth birthday.

Subconsciously, you rub at the matching rose on your thigh before sighing and focusing back on your cigarette. Young, dumb decisions, you think.

Above you, Carmen watches your focus retreat back and purses his lips. In all honesty, Carmen usually never finishes a whole cigarette, but he really needed an excuse to stay out here longer with you.

These past couple of days had been tormenting him just as much as it had been you, albeit for different reasons. Everytime Carmen ran into you, whether it be in that cafe or that random grocery store that one early morning, he was plagued with memories of everything that he had fucked up.

Not just the relationship that he had fucked, but the happiness that he had stolen from the both of you.

And he had so desperately been trying to apologize, but every time you saw his face, you would get that look on your own. That dread, the anxiousness, that annoyance. That anger.

Whenever he saw that expression on your face, he would get too choked up to say anything of significance. A simple 'hey" would be all that would leave his mouth. Either that or he would stutter like he was a fucking kid again and embarrass himself in front of you like he seems to be doing constantly lately.

Carmen sighs, taking a final hit from his cigarette before stomping it out on the ground. By all previous experience, Carmen would book it out of the area by now, but something in his gut was telling him to stay this time.

Glancing down at you once more, he sees that you have taken to scrolling through your phone to kill the time. He bites the corner of his lip and decides to sit against the wall like you.

Instinctively, you toss him a questioning glance but when he didn't make any move to speak or gesture towards you, you shook your head and went back to whatever video had popped up on your feed.

Fuck it, he thought.

"I'm sorry."

You halt in the middle of your smoke, nearly coughing on the fumes but managing to swallow it. You look over at Carmen inquisitively, wondering where the hell that apology came from. The dirty blonde was wringing his hands, mouth opening and shutting as if he was trying to get the words out.

"Sorry for the, uh," he mutters, casting a quick glance in your direction to assure himself that you were listening. "Sorry for the, for uh-You know I didn't-I don't know how-"

"Yo, Carmen," you interrupt the world vomit that he was spewing, tossing your cigarette down before snuffing out the light with your shoe. You center your focus back on the man next to you, who seemed to only have you in his attention. "Just say what you want to say. No bullshit."

Your blunt words seem to ground Carmen long enough for him to gather his thoughts. He nods his head rapidly in that way he does when he's clearly overwhelmed before he clears his throat. He takes in a large inhale and clears his throat, ready to speak again.

"I want to apologize. For everything. For how much of an jackoff I was back then, and for how much I am right now," Carmen stars, eyes staring solidly into yours to show just how serious he is. "I didn't deserve you, and you did nothing to deserve the way that we ended."

You feel something burn the back of your throat at the mention of the end of your relationship. The total radio silence from him for the days prior, and just when you had managed to gather the courage to ask the question of just what the hell are we doing, Carmy, you were cast aside like nothing.

He was right, you didn’t deserve that.

Pushing back the feelings bubbling up in your chest, you nod your head to signal that you were listening.

"I-I, it's no excuse, but I was really going through some serious shit. And I really felt that if I cut everyone out of my life, I could actually get a second to breathe you know," Carmen pauses and you open your mouth to speak, but he continues. "I-I just know you deserved-you deserve better. But seeing you in this restaurant day-in and day-out, working away to help my sister, my crew--help me? I just felt even more like a piece of shit."

He turns fully towards you now and you can see his eyes turning red from the emotion he was clearly holding behind his words. "You didn't deserve what I did, and you definitely don't deserve to be cleaning up my messes now."

"You deserved the world, and I'm sorry I couldn't give it to you."

His last words send a sharp pang into your chest. Here you two sat, sitting next to each other, the distance between you two seemed to be filled with words unsaid. You stare into his eyes a little longer, at a loss for what to say completely.

On one hand, you wanted to reject his apology, tell him to fuck off and leave him alone in this alleyway. He would deserve it after everything.

But he has that familiar kicked puppy-dog look in his eyes and he's chewed his lip red, and he's actually sorry.

You sigh, leaning your head back to rest against the wall behind you. Staring up at the sky, you trace the shapes of the clouds above as you collect your thoughts.

"Yeah," you start, nodding your head to yourself. Carmen tenses up at the ambiguity behind both your words and your tone. He would have to have his own head shoved up his ass if he didn't realize that you had every right to refuse his plea for forgiveness. Frankly, that's exactly what he was expecting you to do.

"Yeah, okay. I can forgive you, Berzatto."

Carmen's heart sinks into his guts, mouth slightly agape in pure shock. "You-you can?"

You give a small smile, turning your head to face the man. "Yeah, Carmen, I accept your apology."

The dirty blonde opens his mouth again but you put a hand up in the space between you, effectively shutting him up for a second.

"But," you trail, "I'm gonna forward you that dry cleaning bill from that cafe, asshat. I've been trying to get that shit out for days now."

Carmen flushes a bright red at the mention of the coffee shop run-in you two had, a broken chuckle leaving his mouth at the obvious teasing tone in your voice. You were joking with him, for the first time in years, you two had managed to glimpse at the level of comfortability that you once shared.

Carmen chuckles again, running a hand through his curls. "Yeah, well, can I raincheck that until after the restaurant starts making money? I'm kinda flat fucking broke right now."

You giggle at the honesty behind his words. "Yeah, I ran those calculations by the way. Have fun being flat broke for at least three months after The Bear opens."

"Shit," Carmen mutters, a grin still on his face.

"Yeah, shit." You nod in his direction before pushing yourself off your crouched position on the ground. "Anyway, I'm gonna head inside to get back on that shit. Fak's fucking electric guy keeps flaking on us."

Carmen's eyes follow your form as you stand, holding eye contact with you when you glance back down at him. "Yeah, yeah, I should probably meet up with Syd for the chaos menu anyway."

He hurriedly stands up, wiping his hands on his work pants. After he finishes, he looks at you once again, noting the small smile on your face. For a second, he swears his heart skips a beat.

"For the record, Carmy," you play with the nickname on your tongue, having not said it in quite some time. Carmen flushes before nodding for you to continue. The small on your face falls for a second as you look at him. "You pull that shit with me again, I'm sicking the dogs on your ass. Seriously."

Carmen clears his throat, straightening up at the more serious tone of your voice. Although you were not nearly as angry looking at him as before, he knew that you were serious. There were no more apologies after this, no more fuckups.

You look at him expectantly, waiting for some form of acknowledgment.

He nods. "Yes, chef."

After the conversation outside The Bear, you and Carmen seemed to flow together much easier than before. Granted there was the occasional stray glance casted in your direction from the man, but overall, the two of you were on much more agreeable terms.

The rest of the crew seemed to notice the absence of uncertain tension between the two of you. You explained to Tina, Richie, and Sugar that you two had simply talked it out and were no longer on "spiteful ex" terms.

Richie, being the annoying man that he is, insisted that something else must've happened--to which you responded with a firm shoulder check and yet another middle finger.

Overall, the two of you seemed to only talk about business stuff, which made it easier for conversations to flow. Less personal, more concrete talks.

"Alright, Carmy, we got that certificate of occupancy, right?" You question, running down the legal checklist once again. When you heard no response, you asked again, only to be ignored again. Finally looking up from your screen, you glance up at the man, trying to figure out what could have possibly distracted him this time.

He's glancing, moreso glaring, down at his phone, watching it ring but making no moves to pick it up. He's spaced out almost, like he's lost in his thoughts.

You clear your throat and decide to try his name again. "Carmen!"

He shoots up a little and looks at you, muttering an apology out as he clicks his phone off and slides it into his back pocket. "What were you asking?"

"Umm, I was trying to see if you got that certificate of occupancy from Cicero mailed in," you raise an eyebrow at him. "You know, the one we need to get that other big, shiny certificate that shows that we can legal conduct business in the state of Illinois? That certificate?"

"Uhh, yeah, yeah. Mailed it in the other day, yeah."

You squint at his weird responses before shaking your head and diving back into your work. "Well, on another note, I've been speaking with a liason down at the office and he said we can have our second fire suppression test in two weeks instead of the project four."

Carmen walks up to the foldable chair you were sitting in, peering over your shoulder to look at your screen. He rests his hand against the back of your chair unconsciously and you can feel the heat of his body radiating off of him. You clear your throat and lean forward a little to get some distance between the two of you.

"Who's that going to?" The man points to an email that you are in the middle of drafting. Your eyes follow and land on the email you were writing to one of your school buddies. "Oh that? I'm just messaging one of my old classmates from college about an idea I had about our issues with that retail food license thing."

Carmen humms, peeking down at you as you explained the process you were thinking of going through. Though your eyes were stuck on the screen, clicking through different documents as you continued your explanation, Carmen's eyes were glued to your face.

To him, this all felt like some weird dream that he was having. His former high school sweetheart, sitting in his restaurant, talking all kinds of smart talk that he could barely understand, practically pressed against him. Although he didn't move over to your chair with the intent to press against you, he definitely noticed the proximity that you two shared.

Life had been a whirlwind these past weeks, but he felt that when he was near you that a lot of those anxieties he often has screaming in his head quieted down a little. He tried to chalk it up to the confidence that he had in your skills, but even though you are incredibly talented in your work, he knew that it was something more than that.

Something that he had to swallow down.

"Carmy, you motherfucker, are you even listening to me?" You call out, turning more in your chair and fixing him with an annoyed glare. Carmen swallows before nodding his head. "Ye-yeah, you have a plan to get that retail food license and alcohol seller's license at once right?"

You hum, giving him a once over again before turning in your seat. "Exactly. I think that my buddy Stephen can help us with that fire suppression test, he knows a thing or two--"

Carmen's eyes trace down your eyes, nose, and lips, noting the signature bite marks you left on your bottom one. He runs a tongue across his own before carding a hand through his hair to collect himself.

He was so fucked.

taglist: @grippleback-galaxy @chatitajens @rooster-bradshaws @hrrysweetcherry @whoreforbucky @notsochillnerd @jackierose902109 @how2besalty @rosewine-5 @honeybug-victoria @beansap @sincerelyrab @xxconfettiitsaparade @softsy @imafatassmess @bibliophilewednesday @chanluuvr

if you would like to be added to/removed from the taglist, just tell me below! thank you so much for reading!

*if ur @ is striked thru, tumblrs being a pain and not letting tag, imma keep trying tho!!

[petalsprompts]

Dame Margaret Natalie Smith, CH, DBE 28th of December, 1934 — 27th of September, 2024

She received  numerous  accolades,  including  two  Academy  Awards,  five  BAFTA  Awards,  four  Emmy  Awards,  three  Golden  Globe  Awards  and  a  Tony  Award,  as  well  as  nominations  for  six  Laurence  Olivier  Awards.  She  was  one  of  the  few  performers  to  earn  the  Triple  Crown  of  Acting.

“ Do  not  be  stilled  by  anger  or  grief.  Burn  them  both  and  use  that  fuel  to  keep  moving.  Look  up  at  the  clouds  and  tip  your  head  way  back  so  the  roofs  of  the  houses  disappear.  Keep  moving. ” — Dame Maggie Smith in her memoir; You Could Make This Place Beautiful (2023)

"My  wife  and  I  were  deeply  saddened  to  learn  of  the  death  of  Dame  Maggie  Smith.  As  the  curtain  comes  down  on  a  national  treasure,  we  join  all  those  around  the  world  in  remembering  with  the  fondest  admiration  and  affection  her  many  great  performances  and  her  warmth  and  wit  that  shone  through  both  on  and  off  the  stage." — King Charles III

"The  end  of  an  era  of  the  sheer  definition  of  what  it  means  to  be  an  actor.  You  created  characters  that  clung  to  us,  moved  us,  entertained  us  ......  made  us  look  within.  You  defied  the  expectations  of  age....  crossed  generations.  You  were  greatness  personified  Dame  Maggie  Smith.  'A  lady  always  knows  when  it's  time  to  leave'  [...]  Godspeed  ♥️"  —  Viola  Davis

"She  was  a  fierce  intellect, a  gloriously  sharp  tongue,  could  intimidate  and  charm  in  the  same  instant  and  was,  as  everyone  will  tell  you,  extremely  funny...  The  word  legend  is  overused  but  if  it  applies  to  anyone  in  our  industry  then  it  applies  to  her."  —  co-star  in  Harry  Potter,  Daniel  Radcliffe

"Maggie  Smith  was  a  truly  great  actress,  and  we  were  more  than  fortunate  to  be  part  of  the  last  act  in  her  stellar  career.  She  was  a  joy  to  write  for,  subtle,  many-layered,  intelligent,  funny  and  heart-breaking.  Working  with  her  has  been  the  greatest  privilege  of  my  career,  and  I  will  never  forget  her."  —  Downton  Abbey  creator,  Julian  Fellowes

"Maggie  Smith  was  a  great  woman  and  a  brilliant  actress.  I  still  can’t  believe  I  was  lucky  enough  to  work  with  the  “one-of-a-kind”.  My  heartfelt  condolences  go  out  to  the  family  …  RIP."  —  co-star  in  Sister  Act & Sister Act 2: Back In The Habit,  Whoopi  Goldberg

"When  I  was  younger  I  had  no  idea  of  Maggie’s  legend  –  the woman  I  was  fortunate  enough  to  share  space  with.  It  is  only  as  I’ve  become  an  adult  that  I’ve  come  to  appreciate  that  I  shared  the  screen  with  a  true  definition  of  greatness."  —  co-star  in the  Harry  Potter film series,  Emma  Watson

"Heartbroken  to  hear  about  Maggie.  She  was  so  special,  always  hilarious  and  always  kind.  I  feel  incredibly  lucky  to  have  shared  a  set  with  her  and  particularly  lucky  to  have  shared  a  dance."  —  co-star  in the  Harry  Potter film series,  Rupert  Grint

"Anyone  who  ever  shared  a  scene  with  Maggie  will  attest  to  her  sharp  eye,  sharp  wit  and  formidable  talent,"  on-screen  son  in  Downton  Abbey,  Hugh  Bonneville

"I  had  the  unforgettable  experience  of  working  with  her;  sharing  a  two-shot  was  like  being  paired  with  a  lion.  She  could  eat  anyone  alive,  and  often  did.  But  funny,  and  great  company.  And  suffered  no  fools.  We  will  never  see  another.  God  speed,  Ms.  Smith!"  —  co-star  in  Suddenly,  Last  Summer,  Rob  Lowe

[katrotica]

I've been a fan of Natalie Roush for a while now and have posted her over on girlcrush over two years ago in the early days! If you head on over to that post you'll see that I was a teeny bit obsessed with her ass at the time (and you will see said ass and completely understand), and sometimes when I get overwhelmed by something I like, I ignore other things (like eating and sleeping in extreme cases when the something I like can monopolize my time). So this post is about pointing out that there's a lot more to Natalie Roush than her spectacular ass. But don't worry, I'll get back to those posters soon enough. I found a bunch of Natalie pics to keep me entertained for a while ;)

[saltnsugarbear]

KNOCK KNOCK congratulations on your celebration!!

“This is wrong.” “So wrong.” While continuing to pull at each others clothes, mind fogged with nothing but lust and arousal. With Carmy perhaps 🧎🏼‍♀️ forbidden romance of some sort

this got soooo far away from me ummm

word count: 2.1k, it got so far from me guys

content warnings: MDNI!!! afab reader genitalia, unprotected sex, mentioned drinking, mentions of the walk-in incident

side note: i finally get to clock in on my "what if reader was claires sibling" bullshit, which no identifiers are mentioned so they could be adopted, but we're a bit messy lmao

You've always had a thing for Carmen Berzatto.

The boy down the street. The youngest of the three bears.

However you spent more time with Nat, dragged into her orbit on the volleyball court. She was peeking over your shoulder one day, looking at the shot you had gotten of the rival girls on the field. After that you two became attached at the hip until she graduated. Even afterwards you still kept in contact while going through your separate schools.

Nat was there when you walked across the stage. Seeing you and Carmy walk across the stage that afternoon left Natalie in tears in the crowd, clapping as loud as she could when they called your name.

Being friends with Nat and related to Claire left you little room to entertain your crush though. Being in the same year as both of them was enough to make you hit your head on the desk everytime they stared longingly at each other. It made you want to tear your hair out.

Claire wasn't very good at keeping a diary, leaving it out on her bed or desk. Wide open for anyone to read.

That's how you knew about her crush on Carmen. The way she talked about him, made him out to be this mythical shy guy who couldn't speak up for himself. (Mostly she complained about school but didn't you all?)

So high school yielded no action for you. Instead pining from afar, lingering in rooms when Sugar sparingly invited you to her house.

Richie always seemed to be around that house, entering or leaving or hearing him from inside the house. You had seen from your own front lawn how Richie and Mikey liked to dog on Carmy, arm slung around his shoulder and laughing loudly as Carmen's ears and face flushed. Sometimes Nat was there, shoving at Richie's arm as he tried to boost to her something he and Mikey had done.

So being in Carmy's orbit was enough until he went off to New York and Copenhagan and you never saw him again.

Not until Claire texted you saying she had run into Carmy at the grocery store.

Hearing the ups and downs of Claire and Carmy's relationship almost daily was grueling. Their adventures and scheming and spending the night at his house finally.

But it got you back in contact with Sugar, which was nice. You got to catch up with her on her grieving and her life with Pete and her expected baby.

Claire and Sugar invited you to friend's and family night at his restaurant. An exclusive time at the newest fine dining in Chicago. It was obvious you would go, invited not once but twice it basically played into your lap.

That's how you ended up watching Claire walk out of The Bear's kitchen with tears in her eyes. Richie is quick to trade places with her as you watch her walk out of the front door, the two Faks tailing behind her.

The screaming on Richie's side of the door is messy and loud. You can't even hear Carmy through the door.

Sugar keeps you around for support and clean up as the hardware man takes out the door. The sound of the saw is loud as you wipe down counters and return dishes to cabinets.

Carmy makes his presence sparing when he gets out of the walk-in, beelining for the back door. After a few minutes Sugar comes to find you.

"Hey.." She leans against the counter, watching you scrub at a particularly annoying spot.

"Hmm?" You hum, glancing at her quickly.

"You're good to leave... I... I'm sorry about... All of tonight, I didn't think..." Natalie trails off.

"Didn't think Carmy would break up with my sister?" You ask dryly. Natalie huffs next to you, ducking her head forward and leaning her forehead against your shoulder.

"Yeah... It's... I'm sorry.." Natalie sighs as you bring an arm around her. "I appreciate you..."

You hum softly, resting your cheek against the top of her head. "S'okay.."

"Nat?" It's Pete. Calling from the dining area before his head peeks in. Both of you turn to face him where he stands in the doorway holding Sugar's coat.

"Thank you, again.." Nat sighs, placing a quick kiss to your temple before letting go of you and heading towards Pete.

Natalie leaving means your in the kitchen mostly by yourself, save for the hardware guy.

He's not your problem so you head for the back door, collecting one of the coats from where it hangs and tugging it on before walking outside.

You find Carmy leaning against his car, cigarette between his lips and jacket unbuttoned, showing you the white tee that hugs his chest tight. He's built muscle since the last time you saw him... Back in high school.

"Hey..." You call softly to him, crossing your arms over your chest as you walk towards him cautiously.

"Hmm.." Carmy hums as he exhales, removing the cigarette from his lips before he turns to you. "Oh shit.."

His response makes you huff, smiling at him softly.

"You grew up." He says it as an observation but it makes your cheeks flush.

"So did you.." You tell him, tilting your head to the side. Carmy shrugs at this, sliding down his car to make room for you next to him.

"Gonna yell at me, too?" He asks, bringing the stick back to his mouth and inhaling.

"No..." You tell him, sliding onto the edge of the hood. "You've been yelled at enough tonight, let you have a break."

Carmy shakes his head before offering you his cigarette. You take it graciously, having only ever smoked a few times.

"Didn't know Sugar still kept you around..." He says casually, watching as you bring the cigarette to your lips and inhale shortly.

You hum around the filter before handing it back to him.

"Not so much anymore.. Both too busy for it.." You shrug. "Kind of hid away after you left. Didn't hear from her too often until um... Until Mikey.."

"Oh.." Carmy says and you sigh. "Didn't know that um.. that she-"

"S'okay," you tell him. "You didn't know.. Partially my fault, phone works both ways. Since you're unaware of that."

Carmy scoffs, shaking his head at you again and making you chuckle.

"Sorry I didn't uh... I didn't see you at her table..." He doesn't have to say who's table. He was so enraptured with her and it wasn't anything new. But this time it looked like a tainted enrapture, one that was going to drive him mad.

"Nothing new.." You mutter, tucking your burrowed coat in close.

"What does that mean?" Carmy snickers, looking at you sideways. You shrug, softly tapping your heel against the car.

"Just that.... Well just that you never really paid attention to me whenever she was around.." You twist your fingers around a loose string hanging from your hood. "So like... It wasn't a surprise you didn't notice me.."

You don't know why you're saying all of this. Maybe it's the wine they so readily supplied, making you loose lipped. Carmy's looking at you absolutely bewildered.

"What-"

"It's really not that big of deal, Carmy. Did it when we were in school too, not a big thing.." You brush him off, waving your hand at him like you can physically clear it from the board.

"But-"

"Doesn't matter," you cut him off. "Doesn't matter, doesn’t matter. Doesn't-"

You press a finger to his lips when he trys to speak up again. "Matter."

Carmy huffs against your finger when you're done.

"Done?" Carmy asks you while you study him. When you're sure that he's not going to try talking again, you remove your finger from his lips.

You watch as Carmy let's his cigarette fall, snuffing it out when he turns to face his body towards yours. You both stare at each other for a moment, glancing over every little feature that might have changed.

Somewhere between your impromptu staring contest and your back hitting Carmy's front door, someone had made the move. Maybe it was Carmy who brought his hand to cradle your jaw and closed the gap. Maybe you had pushed off the hood of the car and pushed Carmy up against the car door.

What ever it was had you up against Carmy's door, breathing heavily as he fumbles for his keys. Carmy fumbles with his keys, swearing softly as he pushes his hips harder against yours. You whine as the lock finally clicks, door pushing open behind you as Carmy leads you.

As soon as the doors closed Carmy is reconnecting your lips, guiding you back, back, back until your lower back hits a rough edge. The force surprises a groan out of you, welcoming Carmy to explore your mouth. Carmy's hands are firm as they climb upwards, resting and squeezing softly at your chest. He's quick to tangle his fingers in your shirt, tugging it up and breaking the kiss to lift it over your head and leaving you in just your under clothes. The way he whines when he can finally get his hands on you is intoxicating, driving your hands to grab at his waistband.

Carmy's own fingers snake down to pop the button of your pants, tugging down your zipper with ease.

"This is wrong.." Carmy pants against your lips, hooking his thumbs in your waistband of your pants and underwear and shoving them down your thighs.

"So wrong..." You say, tugging his belt out of the buckle and undoing his button and zipper.

"We should stop..." Carmy betrays his words, helping you push down his pants and stepping out of them to push up against you. His erection is painfully obvious as he grinds against you.

"Definitely," you agree, pushing yourself up onto his counter. You kick your pants off, letting them fall to the floor at Carmy's feet. Carmy groans into your skin, pressing kisses to your neck as his hands knead at your thighs.

"You should.... Should go.." He whispers against your collarbone as his hands slide just out of reach of your core. You can't fight the whine you let out at his teasing touch, grabbing his wrist to coax him closer.

"Uh-huh.." You nod, closing your eyes as the pads of his fingers swipe between your folds. Carmy's breathing is heavy as he prods at your entrance, resting his forehead against your shoulder.

When he finally pushes in, you can feel his sharp inhale against your skin. His reaction causes you to open your eyes, looking down and following his gaze. Carmy is watching the way his middle and ring fingers stretch you open, pushing until he's to the knuckles. You whine softly as Carmy curls his fingers up against your inner walls, grinding the heel of his hand against your clit causing you to buck up to his hold. He starts with shallow thrusts, driving his fingers deep and yours into his curls.

"Need.... Need now, Carm..." You whine, bucking up into his motions. Carmen groans softly, pressing a kiss to your shoulder. The hand not in his hair, slips fingers into the waistband of his boxers, tugging down at the elastic. He groans softly, starting to trail kisses up along your neck again.

"Please, Carm.." You whisper as he slowly starts slipping his fingers out of you, making you pout at the loss. His hands are quick to take over for yours, shoving off his boxers and letting his length spring free.

"Sure 'bout this?" He whispers against your cheek, nipping softly along your jaw.

"Uh-huh.." You nod, scooting your hips closer to the edge of the counter and feeling the warmth of him against your thigh. "Y're so warm, Carmy..."

The twitch he gives you in response to your whine makes you grin, capturing his lips quickly. "Please?"

Carmen is easy to persuade, bringing your knees to his sides and nudging his head up against your entrance. The first push makes you inhale sharply, just the tip much thicker than his two fingers. Carmy groans next to your ear, hands holding your hips tight.

"S'warm... Tight..." Carmy grunts, pushing a little deeper at his own words. You nod anyways, not registering his words but your body does. Carmy whines when he feels your walls clenching around him, bringing one of his hands to guide your face to him and kissing you deeply.

With you distracted Carmy is able to push until his hips are flush with yours, making you both groan.

"Gonna make you feel s'good.." Carmy promises.

And he does.

[rowdyluv]

𝐸𝓍𝓅𝑒𝓇𝓉𝒾𝓈𝑒

𝑅𝑒𝓆𝓊𝑒𝓈𝓉: yes/no

𝒮𝓊𝓂𝓂𝒶𝓇𝓎: in which y/n is dared to kiss Jack during spin the bottle

𝒲𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈: jack!platonic -> Jack x Reader, use of y/n, female reader, friends to lover, fluff, part 1, unedited,

𝒜𝓊𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓇𝓈 𝒩𝑜𝓉𝑒: 1) I wrote this in different point of view, but still used (y/n). I’m hoping this allows for better flow and clarity. 2)please remember that anything written by me is purely for entertainment purposes. The fic written may be based off an official event that occurred, but facts may be skewed to fit the plot. Please do not take these fics for reference or for more than what they are intended to be. With that being said, I hope you enjoy.♡︎

ミ★☆彡

“Are you sure you’re okay with playing?” Jack asked squeezing her hand for comfort. He knew the likely chance that she was going to get dared to do something she was uncomfortable with or she would land on the kiss block. “Yeah it’s fine rowdy.” She gave him a small unconvincing smile. Jack didn’t push any further he only took a seat next to her in the circle of the others gathered to play spin the bottle.

(Y/n) wouldn’t admit to anyone but she was quite nervous to be sitting in this circle made up of numerous friends, people she didn’t know, her lifelong best friend who she had developed feelings for when she shouldn’t have, and her number 1 enemy.

She wasn’t sure when her feelings started to change towards Jack but they had. She did her best to keep them under wraps and act as if their normal interactions didn’t send her heart into overdrive, but it’s getting harder and harder. The two had always been the friends who cuddled and napped together. It was nothing for Jack to have her in his lap if all the lawn chairs were taken during a bonfire.

“If you get something you’re uncomfortable doing we will just leave, okay?” Jack whispers to (y/n) breaking her out of her thoughts. “Oh yeah, sounds good.” She smiles at him as Natalie, prime-enemy 1, starts rattling off the rules of the game. “Of course she would be in charge.” (Y/n) couldn’t help but mutter to herself, at least she thought, Jack heard her and laughed. “Not too late to back out.” He reminded her, but really it was. Natalie already saw her and Jack sitting in the circle.

After a few spins and narrow escapes the bottle landed on (y/n). “Alright Ms. Goodie-goodie, this should be fun.” Natalie snarks causing most of the group to laugh. Jack leaned closer to (y/n) to offer his support. As if to remind her that they could dip at any moment. “Truth, dare, or are you going to take two shots?” Natalie asks.

(Y/n) hesitates for a moment before deciding today is the last day she lives in fear of her enemy. “Dare.” She chooses boldly. Natalie’s smirk grows, and Jack stiffens next to her. “Hmm. Okay then. I dare you to kiss Jack. Right here in front of everyone.” Natalie never broke eye contact with (y/n) while making her dare. (Y/n)’s heart rate was crazy fast and her head was spinning.

Quickly glancing over to check Jack’s reaction she didn’t expect to see him studying her. “Hey, you don’t have to. Remember what i said.” Jack talks softly so it’s just between them. “No, rowdy. If it’s ok, I..I’ll do it.” She was doing her best to be confident in the moment. “What’s the hold up? Some of us want to get on with the game. If you don’t want to kiss him i will.” Natalie groans but it only entices (y/n) to leap into action.

She leans forward and softly brushes her lips across Jack’s. The moment her lips begin to move away from his, Jack immediately has one hand gripping her waist and the other cupping her face. (Y/n) gasps, yet quickly adjusts to follow Jack’s lead. Her and Jack’s lips moved in perfect synchrony. She was unaware that Jack was hoping she wouldn’t back out of the dare. Jack had been waiting for the day to kiss her and it not ruin their friendship if feelings weren’t reciprocated.

Jack moved his hand that was cupping her face down to her waist as well and pulled her closer to him. What the two weren’t paying attention to was that any closer and (y/n) would be straddling his lap. Whistles and hoots let out around the room. Jack reluctantly pulled away from the sweet fiery kiss. He didn’t care what anyone thought at this point he finished pulling his best friend into his lap and hugged her tightly to his body.

“Let’s get out of here.” Jack tells (y/n). She doesn’t say anything only nods and stands up. Both of them ignoring the calls from the group behind them. Jack pulls her outside and to his car.

“(Y/n). You have no idea how long I’ve waited to do that. How long I’ve wanted to do that.” He admits, searching her face for signs of regret, disgust from his actions, anything to tell him to stop. But there isn’t anything except pure admiration in her eyes. “Jack.” His name sounds like honey to him. “I just have one question.” He interrupts her. “How the heck did you become an expert kisser? Because i never wanted to stop in there. It was so intoxicating. Invigorating.” His hands were back on her waist pulling her close to him. “I… I don’t know? I just followed your lead.. that was my first kiss. I thought you knew that?”

Jack’s eyes went huge before he quickly composed himself. “Can I be your next 100 or so more?” He cheekily asked. (Y/n) dropped her gaze feeling her face begin to burn.

“But we’re just friends, Jack.” He breathed out a slight laugh. “The hell we are, you’re mine now silly girl.” Grabbing her chin gently tilting her head up so he can look her in the eyes. “I’ve wanted to make you my girl for a long time, I know you feel the same way please don’t deny it. I will make every day worth it and the next day even better. I promise. I’ve loved you and cared for you since we were kids as your best friend, just give me a chance to prove to you I can truly love you as your boyfriend.” (Y/n) smiled ever so softly at the boy she knew when he was missing his two front teeth who’s turned into the handsome young man professing his feelings for her. Reaching up to touch his face, she whispers as if anyone could hear her “yes, Jack. Yes today. Yes tomorrow, it would’ve been yes two years ago.”

The overly excited boy all but smashed his lips to hers for the second time. “I can’t believe I waited so long for this. I never want to stop.” Jack said in between kisses. “Come home with me, please.”

ミ★☆彡

unedited - wrote on the tumblr app during a storm while having to shelter in place at work because of a tornado warning. I’ll rewrite later & there will be a pt 2.

[sevcasejay1chicago]

We chose you- Matt, Kelly, Jay

Summary: You hear Erin Lindsey bad mouthing you in the bathroom at Molly’s. She opens up old wounds that only your boys can heal.

Warnings: cursing, mentions vomiting, diabetic

Authors note: Here it is my loves. This is a request from an anonymous friend. I hope you enjoy!

——————

Molly’s was packed. Stella was hosting her monthly karaoke night. The night was young, the drinks were cold, and the people were packed in the bar. You were sat at a back table with Jay, Will, Matt, Kelly, and Natalie. The music wasn’t the worst your group had heard, but that was the last thing on your mind. You and Will Halstead were up next. You had lost a bet to him earlier that day, so now you were stuck singing We Are Never Getting Back Together by T-Swift. Will won the bet, which got you on stage. The catch was that you got to pick the song.

When Stella loudly announced your song and called you and Will up, you practically had to be dragged away. You couldn’t believe that you had been talked into this. Hopefully the liquid courage would be enough.

About half way through the song, you realized that a very drunk Erin Lindsey with flirting with Kelly and Jay. Their attention was solely on her and, from the looks of it, they were not pushing her away. You felt anger rise in your chest, but locked eyes with Will and kept singing.

Once the song was over, you handed your mic to Will and stormed off into the bathroom. Reaching a stall, you immediately went in and sat down, grabbing toilet paper to blot the tears away in hopes of Matt not noticing that you had been crying. You figured Kelly and Jay wouldn’t notice, given that they were entertaining Erin.

Suddenly, you heard giggling as the door swung open. You huddled up with your feet above the view from under the door, hoping that nobody knew you were there.

“They could do so much better than her.” Erin slurred, giggling as Hailey Upton handed her a wet paper towel.

“Erin.” Hailey sighed, crossing her arms as she watched her drunk companion dab the paper towel on the back of her neck.

“What? She’s not as pretty as me. She has WAY more issues than me. I mean, I could hide my feelings for the most part. She’s just so whiny. I even feel bad for Matt.” Erin slurred, slapping the paper towel onto the counter and scoffing loudly. “They just pity her. Why have her when they could have me?” Erin asked as she walked out of the bathroom.

Hailey muttered something under her breath before she gave her reply, which got drown out by the music and then the door shutting behind her. You, however, were completely horrified. Deep down, you knew she was just talking shit. Right?

Pulling yourself together, you made your way back to your table and practically sat yourself in Matt’s lap as you eyed Kelly, Jay, Erin, and Hailey. You laid your head on his shoulder as you took a sip of his water.

“You okay baby?” Matt asked, lifting your hair from the back of your neck as he felt the heat coming from you.

“I don’t feel good. Can we go home?” You whispered in his ear before laying your head back onto his shoulder.

Matt rubbed your back and nodded. “Absolutely. Let me go collect the guys.” He replied, starting to stand and hand you off to Will to keep you company.

“Just leave them. Will can fill them in and Upton can bring them home.” You said, pouting at Matt. “I really don’t feel good and I wanna go home.” You whined, giving him your best puppy dog look, though you were literally getting nauseous by seeing the way Erin was all over them.

Matt eyed you and finally gave in with a nod to Will. “Alright baby. Come on. Let’s get you home.” Matt said, standing with you braced against his chest, kissing the top of your head.

After a short goodbye to the people at your table, Matt guided you through the crowded bar and out of the side door. He kept his hands on your waist and almost laughed when you breathed in a lungful of the cool night air. From there, he picked you up, bridal style, and carried you to Jay’s truck, easily depositing you into the front seat and buckling you in.

“Just tell me if you need me to pull over, ‘kay?” Matt told you, cupping your burning face in his palms.

“Kay.” You hummed closing your eyes and enjoying the coolness of his hands. You had to hold back a whine when he moved back and closed the door, missing the coolness of his hands and the comfort he brought you.

Matt drove home with your hand in his, making sure to be easy on his stops and turns. When he parked the truck, he looked over to notice that you were asleep with your head leaned against the back of the seat, your face toward him. Instead of waking you up, Matt quietly took you out of the car and carried you inside. He tried to gently undress you, but you woke with a start when the cool air hit your chest.

“Shhhh. I’m just changing your clothes baby.” Matt soothed, leaning over you to make eye contact. He could see the fear in your eyes until you recognized him. An old PD casing coming back to haunt you if Matt had to guess.

You breathed a sigh of relief and nodded, laying back again. “I’m good. I’m ‘Kay.” You slurred, still pretty drunk and very much half asleep.

Matt nodded. “Okay baby. I’m almost done and then we can go to bed.” Matt whispered, quickly changing you into one of his shirts before laying you against your pillow. “Need anything?” Matt asked sweetly, tucking the blankets around your shoulders.

You thought back to Erin’s comment and quickly shook your head, almost regretting how much it hurt to do so. “‘M good. Go back n have fun.” You whispered, starting to turn over and go to sleep.

Matt chuckled and started taking off his clothes. “No ma’am. I’m staying here with you.” Matt said, tossing his clothes in the hamper, along with yours. “Let’s remove your makeup so that your eyes aren’t irritated in the morning.” Matt proposed, walking toward the bathroom for your makeup wipes.

You wiped silent tears from your face as the feeling of being a burden almost immediately tried to swallow you whole. You weren’t completely sure if he was doing this out of habit or obligation after hearing Erin’s comments. “You don’t have to.” You said, trying to make your voice sound strong.

Matt came back in the room, wipes in hand. “Baby.” Matt cooed, immediately coming to your side. “Shhh. It’s alright.” Matt shushed, taking you into his arms as you shook with a sob. “Baby. What’s wrong? You feel sick?” Matt asked, knowing throwing up was a major fear of yours. You did, so when you nodded, you weren’t exactly lying. “Need to go to the bathroom?” Matt asked with a hum, staying calm to hopefully promote the same feeling within you.

You shook your head. “Sleep.” You whispered, sniffing and pulling yourself together.

Matt nodded. “Okay hunny. Hang on.”

Your loving boyfriend then proceeded to wipe your face clean of makeup and tears. Holding the wipe to your nose to blow after the crying made you sniffly. Then he tucked you back into bed and kissed your forehead.

“I’ll be right back to cuddle sweetheart.” Matt promised. He was only gone for a few minutes before he returned with some water, meds for your hangover tomorrow morning, and a trash can. “Trash can will be on the nightstand if you wake up feeling sick.” Matt said, placing it on his side of the bed, which meant you would end up waking him if you got sick in the night.

Matt finally slid into bed, plugged in your phones and turned out the lights. You weren’t going to object when Matt immediately pulled you into his arms since he initiated the contact. Instead, you got comfortable and fell into a fitful sleep.

You barely stirred when Jay and Kelly stumbled in at 5 am, but you were immediately hit with the smell of alcohol when you woke a few hours later. Luckily, Matt was already up and cooking in the kitchen, so he didn’t hear when you made a mad dash for the bathroom and threw up everything you consumed the night before. Afterwards, you brushed your teeth and showered, needing to make sure that the smell of vomit didn’t linger and to calm your racing heart. You brushed again before going out to join Matt in the kitchen.

For the next several days, you dodged Kelly and Jay. Constantly making an excuse to not be in the same room as them. You even went to bed early every night and slept on Matt’s side of the bed to ensure that the other two wouldn’t touch you at night. Every time you saw the boys do something for the other or heard them talking to each other in a loving way, your heart twisted in sadness. They sound and look so happy when you aren’t bothering them. The thought made you physically sick, which led to more vomiting and skipping meals, claiming that you had a big lunch or ate a snack.

However, you failed to notice that the boys were in fact taking notice of your presence, or lack thereof. It was bothering them, but they weren’t going to push you. They knew that you had your moments when you needed to be left alone, so they did just that until they couldn’t anymore.

A week after the incident at Molly’s, the boys were setting up their Friday night date night. They figured, since you haven’t wanted to be around them, that you wouldn’t want to be around other people. They were just finishing setting up when you walked through the door. Everyone stopped and looked at you. You were frozen in place, pale as a ghost and trembling as you breathed erratically. Everyone stayed frozen for a moment until you threw your stuff on the counter and ran for the bathroom.

All three boys were hot on your heels. Matt got there first, pressing you against his side with one hand and keeping your ponytail back with the other as you bent at the waist over the toilet. You were still hyperventilating and shaking.

“Shhhhh. It’s okay. It’s okay. I’m here.” Matt shushed, lightly rubbing your right side. It seemed odd that he could feel your ribs after only a week of barely touching you.

Jay and Kelly were moving about the master bathroom, both getting things you normally liked when you were sick. Jay eventually came over with a wet wash cloth and laid it over the back of your neck while taking your temp with the forehead thermometer.

“No fever.” Jay announced, reaching up to rub your back. He startled slightly when you flinched. You have never flinched when any of the boys touched you, when your sober anyway. Jay and Matt made eye contact when it happened, but were quickly drawn back to you as you heaved loudly.

“I-hmmm. Just l-leave, Pl-hukk.” You tried to plead, being cut off by a gag.

“No way.” Kelly said, taking you by the hips. You were swaying slightly now, the hyperventilating, plus the heaving and you locking your legs was clearly causing you to lose your balance. “Kneel down baby.” Kelly coached, pushing your hips slightly down to lead you onto your knees.

“Mm-m.” You shook your head, moving closer to Matt. “G-go. Ju-out!” You tried to exclaim, but it ended in a whisper as you sagged into Matt’s arms.

“Woah!” Matt said, catching you and lowering you to the ground.

Kelly immediately took a towel down and pillowed your head with it. Jay knelt down to check your pulse as Matt helped Kelly pull you into the recovery position.

“Pulse is strong but tacky.” Jay announced, keeping a hold of your wrist.

“Y/n? Open your eyes.” Matt called, tilting your face upwards to open your airways more.

You didn’t respond. Kelly took out the blood pressure machine and handed Jay the glucose monitor. The exchange was done silently and the devices were used immediately. Jay gasped as your blood sugar came up on the small device.

“Holy shit. It’s 45!” Jay exclaimed, immediately diving for the bag and pulling out the glucagon and spraying it into your nose.

“BP is pretty high for her, which makes since with a blood sugar that low.” Kelly commented, standing to run to the kitchen and grab you some orange juice.

“Let’s take her to the living room. Can you grab the trash can just in case?” Matt asked Jay, shifting you into his arms as you began to stir. “Shhhhh. We gotcha.” Matt murmured as Jay nodded and grabbed the first aid kit and trash can, following Matt out into the living room.

Matt barely had you laid down when you woke up. Immediately, you attempted to get up, still feeling nauseous and kinda flighty. You felt like a caged animal needing to escape.

“Hey hey hey. No baby.” Matt exclaimed, pushing you back down. “You just passed out from low blood sugar. Kelly is getting you some juice I think.” Matt soothed, sitting down next to you.

“M fine.” You said, trying to push yourself up again.

“Bullshit.” Kelly said, walking into the room with Jay behind him.

“Fine my ass.” Jay muttered, ripping open one of your zofrans and giving it to you.

You took the Zofran and sipped on the orange juice that Kelly brought in. Everyone was staring at you, but you averted your gaze as you began to connect the dots on what just happened. You knew what was coming next.

“Alright. Spill. What’s been going on with you lately?” Jay asked, sitting on the coffee table and trying his best not to seem intimidating.

You shook your head. “Nothin.” You said, trying to sound normal.

“No. That’s not an answer.” Kelly said, coming to kneel next to you. “You’ve been avoiding us, mostly me and Jay, for a week now. What did we do?” Kelly asked, pleading with his eyes.

“You really wanna know??” You exclaimed, hands trembling from more than low blood sugar. “I’m just surprised you haven’t gone back to Erin. I’m sure she’s still in town.” You scoffed.

“What?” Kelly and Jay both said.

“At Molly’s, she was flirting with you and you were flirting back. Then you didn’t come home until 5 am.” You had tears streaming down your face. “Erin didn’t know I was crying in the bathroom when she told Hailey how much better she is than me and how sorry she feels for you guys for having a needy girlfriend.” You explained, hastily wiping the tears from your face.

“Baby, we-“ Jay started, but you shoved the orange juice into his hand and reached for the trash can instead.

Matt pulled your pony tail back again as Kelly reached over to steady the trash can. You were just panting heavily, but saliva was dripping into the trash can along with your tears. Luckily, the Zofran was completely dissolved under your tongue.

“Shhhhhh. Breathe baby. Slow down.” Matt soothed, rubbing your back. “Let it pass baby. Just breathe and let it pass. You’ve gotten yourself all worked up.” Matt whispered, letting you keep the trash can as long as you needed to, but hoping that this was just nausea from anxiety.

You nodded, spitting and letting Kelly take the trash can. You immediately turned into Matt and hid your face in his neck. You let yourself sob, having been pent up for too long. You missed this. You missed your boys.

“Baby. We chose you.” Jay said, placing a hand on your back. “She did try, but we chose you and Matt.”

“We would never chose her.” Kelly said, sitting down next to Matt. “We had our fun, but that was the past. You and Matt are our future.” Kelly explained, placing a hand on Matt’s thigh.

“And we love taking care of you. We love that you love us enough to trust us with anything.” Matt said, planting a kiss on the side of your head. “I knew they wouldn’t leave us because I know how much they love us. How much they love you.” Matt whispered.

Tag list:

@treehouse-mouse

@shadowmeadowsworld

@sorry-i-spaced

@zephyrmonkey

@allisonargent144

@amie134

@lane-rodgers-barnes

@pensfan5871

@dumb-fawkin-bitch

@marvel-and-chicago-fan

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@100yroldteenagers

@senjoritanana

[intimidating-fettuccine]

I absolutely live for lighthearted fluff, so I just gotta ask- do you think there are any funny/cute habits/things the creeps have? (obvi u don’t have to do all of them, maybe just some that jump out at you) Like grabbing onto people when they’re scared, having a funny/infectious giggle (or one of those ridiculous laughs that makes other people laugh), having a high pitched girly scream, etc?

I feel like the last one def applies to Jeff because it’s like he’s got the hottest, most charming voice you’ll ever hear and then as soon as he screams he breaks the goddamn sound barrier😭😭

One lighthearted thing for every creep because I want soft hours:

Jeff: He WOULD have a high-pitched scream, but as for my own little habit headcanon for him, I think he runs in place when bored and standing. If he's waiting in line, he just starts quickly jogging in place to keep himself occupied, and it's very funny to just see him waiting in line to check out with his groceries and he's just standing there running in place with an intense look on his face.

BEN: Hacks into everyone's phones to see what items they're liking/saving to buy for themselves and he gets them those items for Christmas and birthdays.

EJ: Narrows his eyes, pins his ears back, and swishes his tail back and forth angrily whenever he's pouting or mildly annoyed. He looks exactly like an annoyed cat and it's the cutest thing. He even crosses his arms when he does it to look intimidating and it does the opposite.

LJ: Jack rarely does his actual laugh due to his depression/general facade, BUT, when you get him to fully let loose and laugh he has the most infectious, amazing laugh you'll ever hear. Eyes closed, grabbing his stomach, tears rolling down his face, and so happy and adorable.

Toby: Does a little dance every time he eats ice cream. He'll shimmy his body back and forth when he takes his first bite, close his eyes, and smile real big, humming to himself in happiness.

Tim: He's gotten into the habit of drumming on the counter with his fingers when he's cooking and waiting for things to cook. He'll thump his index fingers on the counter and bop his head along with whatever beat he's following.

Brian: Gives people bunny ears in every picture. If he's taking a photo with someone (unless Slender tells him not to for family photos) Brian will put his two fingers behind someone's head in every picture, no matter who he's taking a photo with.

Slender: Thinks aloud to himself. Normally it's not a problem because he just speaks to people through their minds, so when he's alone nobody notices. However, sometimes you'll walk past him and he's just standing there or sitting there having a full conversation or tangent to himself. It's very entertaining, and he doesn't realize he's doing it.

Liu: Whenever he gets really stressed the first thing he does is find Jeff and give him a big hug. Liu might be the older brother, but when they were little Liu would always cling to Jeff when he got stressed or anxious, and that has carried into adulthood.

Jane: Dances whenever she hears music. It's purely subconscious, but if music is playing around her, she'll do a little dance where she bounces back and forth on her feet and sways her hips, and sometimes she doesn't even notice she's doing it.

Natalie: Taps people she likes randomly. She does it to show affection, but if she's just ever hanging out with someone she likes she'll subconsciously reach out and softly, quickly tap them a bunch of times to say "I love you and I'm glad you're here."

Helen: Has the cutest sneezes. He tries SO HARD not to sneeze around people because he has really cute high-pitched sneezes, like the really adorable and cute kind. He hates it so fucking much but he's always been that way so he just tries to hide it.

Smiley: Sighs in a really funny manner. It comes out very dramatic and over the top, but his natural sigh is very high-pitched and pouty sounding, so people often teach him for his dramatics, but that's just how he sighs.

Sally: Has gotten into the habit of collecting metal pop bottle caps, so the creeps will always give her theirs for her collection. She has a special box that she keeps them in, and she always gets excited when she gets a new cap.

Offender: Cannot dab or floss correctly. He often tries to tease the younger human creeps by trying to dab or floss but no matter how many times they try to teach him how to do it, he just can't do it correctly. They always call him Dad or Grandpa when he does that to make fun of him for being old and unable to do it right.

Trender: Since tailoring is his full-time job, he has a lot of pins he often has to use, and he's gotten into the habit of collecting a bunch of different types of pin cushions. His current favorite is one that looks like a hedgehog.

Splendor: Paints new Christmas ornaments every year with him and his siblings on them to hang on his tree each year, and he makes an extra for every sibling too.

Jason: To try and improve on his trauma involving children and continue his tailoring work, he sometimes makes and donates clothing to various orphanages in the Underworld and delivers it to them himself.

Puppeteer: Jumps rope with his strings. When he's bored and by himself if he has some energy he wants to burn off he'll use his strings to jump rope with. Nobody has caught him doing this and he thinks it's a bit embarrassing, so he's never told anyone.

Zalgo: Stretches when he's getting tired. He often has to work through exhaustion a lot, so when he gets sleepy he'll do some stretches to get his blood flowing and let his muscles get stretched out so he's not tense and sitting in the same position all day.

Candy: Hums to himself a lot. Whenever he's bored or spaced out he'll hum or sing to himself to occupy his mind. If he's around his partner or one of his friends, he might even pull them in for a little dance while he hums and sings, all with a big peaceful smile on his face.

Hobo: When he gets started he poofs his wings up really big like a bird and he jumps a bit into the air, eyes wide and arms clutched to himself. It's very adorable, but make sure he's not near any valuable items or he might accidentally whack them with his wings.

Nina: Has a habit of checking in on Zalgo. She's the only official creep I've got working under him, and she worries over how much he overworks himself. Whenever she has a second of free time she's always poking into his office to make sure he's not overworking himself, and she often brings him snacks or drinks to make sure he's eating and drinking stuff since he often works around the clock.

Kate: Falls asleep in the weirdest places. She's got some sleeping problems, and she will fall asleep anywhere. The dining table, curled up in an odd position in a chair, sprawled across the couch, on the floor. She'll just plop down somewhere and she's out within minutes.

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

I feel like this is a horrible thing to say, but when I'm shown examples of when Marinette is having a hard time, it's hard for me to feel bad for her.

It's not like I think she deserves it and I certainly don't draw any joy from it, but I just don't feel any sympathy for when she's struggling.

My theory is that the show has toted her so much as the all-important one-and-only, all while ignoring everyone else's important moments and struggles, that I'm struggling to feel sympathetic for when Marinette is going through some sort of misfortune. Every single one of her struggles are always highlighted in such a way that it's supposed to be this incredibly-important thing that makes Marinette look so sad, but then she's comforted and validated until eventually, this struggle eventually gets resolved and she's all happy again.

But then there's Adrien. No closure about his mom, his dad, Natalie—nothing. He's slapped with all the responsibility of comforting and validating Marinette, who eventually gets her personal conflicts resolved without lasting impact.

I'm not saying Marinette hasn't done anything to comfort and validate Adrien, but his conflicts just feel largely brushed aside and/or downplayed in comparison to Marinette's, which are highlighted and emphasized as significant events.

I don't know if this makes me a bad person or something, and I do kind of feel bad about it, but I just struggle to sympathize with her when the show tries to make us feel bad for her.

Marinette is a fictional character. It's totally fine if the bad writing has completely turned you off to her and drained you of sympathy because the entire purpose of her existence is to entertain people. She's not some meaningful representation that you should want to connect with and understand to improve your world view or something like that. She's just a poorly written teenager in a bad kids show. As long as you're able to acknowledge that fact and own that this is mainly a writing issue - and it sounds like you are - I wouldn't stress about it. The writers have done a lot to make her unlikable! I totally get why someone would not want to watch a show starring her canon self. I struggle at times and I genuinely like Marinette! Her writing is one of the many reasons I just don't know if I'm going to watch season six.

I don't defend Marinette because she's done nothing wrong. I defend her because her faults are so clearly just bad writing and not some grand plan for the character where she's going to learn something, which makes me feel protective of her because I genuinely love the base character concept and what she could have been. It's annoying to see people treating her like she's the problem and not the writing because she's literally not allowed to learn lessons and change, so of course she keeps coming across worse and worse! Her flaws are genuinely fine for a serialized story, they just have no place in an episodic one where the characters stay largely stagnant.

For example, nothing about the season five conflict and final naturally follows the BS season four conflict where she supposedly learned to trust Chat Noir. As much as I don't agree that with that synopsis of what the conflict was, it is how Ladybug sums it up in the final:

Ladybug: Why don't you just give up on me? I've lost ALL the Miraculous! I'm the worst Guardian EVER! I wanted to control everything, I didn't listen to you, I lied to you, I kept you at a distance! Every time you offered me a helping hand, I never took it! I really made a mess of EVERYTHING! Cat Noir: We're gonna get them back one by one…until the very last. And we'll make sure this never happens again.

And yet none of this seems to impact season five. Chat Noir and Ladybug maintain all their secrets and they do absolutely nothing to track down the missing miraculous because the plot won't let them even though it really doesn't fit Marinette's character. She certainly hasn't given up controlling things because, once again, the show literally will not let her do that. The rare episodes where it happens always see her punished like when Alya handing out miraculous lead to SentiNino which almost lead Gabriel to knowing Ladybug's secret identity. Adrien suffers for similar reasons. So does Alya and so many other characters! I totally get why someone would not be able to look past canon's writing since it's not like the flaws are minor. I have the same problem with both Lila and Nathalie.

I just cannot stand Nathalie even though I know that she's as much of a victim as Marinette and all the other characters. None of Nathalie's flaws are her fault because she doesn't exist. It's just that Nathalie's bad writing hits me in a way that makes me despise her while Marinette's hits in a "protect and defend" way. There's no wider logic here. It's just a matter of what characters I connected with enough to look past the bad writing. The type of fanfics I read probably also helped...

My only real piece of advice on this topic is to watch your mental health and take a Miraculous break or even leave the fandom all together if you notice that your Marinette hate (or hate of anything in canon) is really messing with you. I've mentioned before that I'm debating about watching season six and a big reason why is that I don't know if it's going to be good for my mental health. Lila's writing has consistently got on my nerves, but she was a minor enough character that I was still having a good time. Given that Lila is our new big bad with the added bonus of how shitty season five was and the show may have hit a point where it's just not fun for me anymore.

Previously, I had issues with the overall writing, but genuinely enjoyed watching the show as the writers are pretty good at short form story telling, so canon was a nice mix of genuinely enjoyable moments and writing issues that were fun to talk about. That was not true for season five and I just can't picture how it will be true for season six. The only reason I'm even considering it is because I watch the show with my SO and he has a lot of fun listening to me rant about bad media, so I may still have a good time with season six. It would not be the first time that I suffered through a piece of bad media for the sake of a loved one who really wanted someone to rant about it with.

I'm not the kind of person who will tell people they're not welcome in a fandom unless they like X. That sort of gate keeping is ugly and often straight up bullying, so don't read this as me saying that you have to like Marinette to enjoy the show or that you need to disengage if you don't like X% of canon. As long as you're having fun and not forcing your dislike on others by sending clearly unwelcome asks or engaging with sugar posts in an antagonistic way or anything like that, then I'm going to defend your right to be in fandom even if we personally aren't going to get along and need to stay in our separate fandom bubbles.* All I'm saying is that it's important to know when to disengage from a piece of media. To keep track of when something starts consistently bringing you more sorrow than joy. When that line is crossed? It's time to move on.

The sad fact is that, while you may utterly adore a piece of media, you have no control of what that media will do, so you need to be very careful about trusting your mental health to total strangers. It's part of why I tend to be so critical of media. Analysis and plot pitches like I do on this blog are genuinely fun for me, but they're also a much healthier way to engage with a story than just trusting it to be good and getting burned when it isn't. There's a reason I avoid theory crafting. I've gotten really into that in the past and wound up hurt because I put way too much faith in strangers who ended up sucking at their job.

*Btw, the line about separate fandom bubbles was not aimed at you. It's just a general statement about how fandom works. All are welcome, but all do not need to directly interact. Curating your fandom experience is important self care. Blocking someone isn't some sort of value judgement. It's just sometimes a thing you need to do in order to keep from seething when you accidentally see their asinine hot takes.

[spicywhenspeaking]

If I’m There Chapter: Twenty-Four

read from part one here!

summary: Noah and Natalie met in high school and developed a relationship through their love of music and art. Falling in love, innocent and young, they think nothing can keep them apart. However, sometimes in the pursuit of your dreams the things we love the most get left behind.

this is a complete work of fiction, some characters while based on real people are totally made up. :)

Taglist: @lma1986 @cookiesupplier @notingridslurkaccount @blackveilomens@thisbicc @laurpartyprogram @concretenoah@thebadchic @madomens@samanthasgone @myownthoughts12@missduffsblog@jilliemiw86 @malerieee @hi-fancy-seeing-you-here @badomenslrh @robabankfuckmickeymouse

(You're waiting for the)

Day to come when thеy will notice

(It is time to wake up now)

Fighting battlеs at your lowest

(Your fire is dying out)

Dragging every step forward

But it won't happen again

And I'm not gonna pretend

(I don't want the money)

(Want the money)

Noah sent Erin a CD with a playlist of their songs he hoped she would like. She has been blaring it loudly for days since she opened the package. She’s been listening to it nonstop and now sings along to the lyrics.

Can't say I'm mad, this is entertainment

But I want what they have and I'm gonna take it

And I'm so sorry if I'm cynical

My water's full of chemicals

I don't know what I'm made of anymore

“Sweetie! Lunch is ready!” I call out to her over the sound of the music as I place the plate I made for her, buttered noodles with grilled chicken with roasted broccoli and fresh fruit. 

Erin races down the stairs humming along to one of the songs she’s been listening to. 

“Yum! Thanks, Mom!” she says, plopping down to dig into her pasta. I sit alongside her and eat my plate. 

“So Noah said he will be back in less than a week, we will get a few days to hang out before you go to art camp,” I mention softly and she smiles brightly. “I’m excited to see him again, we should take him to the skating rink where Ashley had her birthday party, Oh! Oh! And we have to have a game night before I go to camp.” she exclaims excitedly. I laugh and nod, “Of course honey, we will have to ask him when he gets into town.” Her smile continues to grow as we talk and I am happy to see her so excited about spending more time with Noah. She talked to me after one of her last therapy sessions and the weight of guilt has lessened tremendously after our conversation. Her little heart is full of so much love. In the future, her feelings may change and she may have more questions or even anger and I am prepared to help her with those feelings when they arise. 

After lunch, I drop Erin off at Gwen’s apartment in her senior center to spend some time with her while I head to work for a few appointments I have set up. Gwen is freshly 75 and loving life in her new senior apartment complex and loves having Erin over to hang out. She welcomes us with big hugs and the smell of freshly baked cookies. “My girls, I’m so happy to see you both!” she greets us warmly. “Gweny! Omg, I have so much to talk to you about! Noah sent me some music and it’s awesome! I have to show you some.” Erin gushes to Gwen as she walks into the living room to set her backpack down. “Oh and I brought some paints so we can do some crafts, I wanted to paint the flowers you have on your balcony.” 

Gwen with her arm slung delicately around my shoulder laughs softly, “You made the sweetest girl in the world, I hope you know how much of that comes from you.”  I rest my head against hers and sigh contently. “Thank you, Gwen, I owe so much of her to you. You have helped so much when I moved and have been there for everything in her life. I’m so grateful for you.” I tell her as Erin runs around Gwens’ new apartment. “Well, I need to head out for my appointments. Hey, little one! I gotta go.” I call over to Erin and she runs to give me a quick hug before going back to explore the new space. I hug Gwen again and kiss her softly on the cheek. “I’ll be back later, maybe closer to 8:30. Thank you again, love you both!” I say to them as I walk out the front door and head back to the car. 

My appointments go by fast today, A few line work pieces and the first session of a large back piece. On my way out the door, I get a surprising phone call from Noah. 

Hey! Nat, how are you?

Hey Noah! I’m good, just finished up work for the day and I’m about to head to Gwen’s to pick up Erin. 

How was your day? Any fun ink?

Haha yes, I started on a sweet back piece that will take a few more sessions to finish.

That is awesome!

So I wanted to call and ask about something.

Oh? What’s up? Is everything okay?

yes, yes, everything is great! I just bought my ticket to Austin and wanted to see if you could grab me from the airport on Thursday?  

Oh! Of course, that’s no problem at all. 

Are you sure? I mean I could  figure out the car rental thing if that’s easier 

Oh hush Noah, it’s really not a big deal! We’d be happy to pick you up. 

Erin has been talking nonstop about you coming back to town. She’s making many plans to fit in plenty of activities before art camp next week.

Thank you Natty, I’m excited to see you both. My flight will land around 12 pm but our Airbnb won’t be ready until 4 pm. The other guys won’t be out until later next week. 

Sounds like a plan! We will scoop you up when you land and grab some lunch, Erin will be happy to hear the news.

Have a good night Natty, Lo- Bye! *click* 

“Hello? Noah? Umm okay, bye” I put my phone back in my bag, shake the weirdness off, and just get ready to head to pick up Erin and give her the exciting news. 

Gwen texted me what they decided on pizza for dinner, so I quickly run through the Dan’s Hamburgers drive-through to grab a big cheeseburger and curly fries.

Eating my dinner quickly on the road I switch on the radio and turn between channels until I find a familiar female voice. It takes me back to being a little kid in my parent’s car on a long car ride home.

“Hey there, It’s Delilah here with a collection of love songs to set your night off right. I know love comes and goes and I hope you find a love in your life that brings you the most joy and fills your heart with wonder.” 

Her soft voice drifts through my car and I settle into listening to the rest of her radio show until I get to Gwen’s. The love songs drift through the air…

So break my step

And relent

You forgave and I won't forget

Know what we've seen

And him with less

Now in some way

Shake the excess

'Cause I will wait, I will wait for you

“Okay, Delilah I get it! I’m figuring it out…just get off my back.” I grumble at the radio and switch it to the next station. 

I may not always love you

But long as there are stars above you

You never need to doubt it

I'll make you so sure about it

God only knows what I'd be without you

“Oh fuck off,” I say as I shut off the radio and complete the ride in silence. 

Erin races to the door when we get to the car, “I had so much fun with Gweny but I am sooo tired.” she slugs against the door, and when I click the unlock button she quickly climbs into the seat and reclines it back.

I laugh at her actions, shutting her eyes and curling into herself. “That’s what happens when you stay up all night listening to music silly girl.” I laugh and she groans, “I want to learn all of the lyrics so I can sing along when we go to one of Noah’s shows.” she grumbles sleepy. 

“Well they have a break coming up, so you’ll have plenty of time to learn the songs.” I tell her, “Actually, Noah called me after work. He’ll be here Thursday and asked if we could pick him up from the airport on Thursday.” She perks up immediately, springing up from her seat in excitement, “That sounds great! I’m so excited, omg what should we do? We have to show him the diner and oh oh we can take him to the water park! Or we can go rollerblading!” the sleepy child I saw minutes ago is gone and she’s awoken with a new spark.

“Okay baby, we will see what he has the energy for, remember he’s coming off of a long tour, he might just want to grab lunch and hang out at the house. But we will have lots of time to do all of the things you want to.” She’s still glowing with excitement on the drive home. My appointments tomorrow are later in the morning so when we get inside the house we sit in the living room and put on a movie. Erin decides to watch “Encanto”.  Haylie is in her room, probably working on her newest book but pokes her head out to say hi and double-check Erin is staying home tomorrow, with a nod of approval she slinks back into her room to finish writing, “Okay byee love youuu!” she calls as the door closes. 

Halfway through the movie I look over and see Erin has fallen asleep, I finish the movie wiping tears from my face. “Damn Disney movie,” I mumble. I gently move her upstairs and place her in her bed. 

When I am finished freshening up and laying my head down the last thing that goes through my head before sleep takes over. “Have a good night Natty, Love you! Bye.”

My dreams are visions of a future with Noah and Erin. We’re together laughing on the beach, building a sandcastle. I see myself pregnant with another baby, Noah’s eyes brighten up as he places a gentle hand on my stomach and kisses me. Sitting on the sand next to them my hands dig into the sand as the water washes up and the castle returns to the sea. The dream fades and twists into a new vision, Noah and I are arm and arm sitting on the couch watching a movie. The quiet domesticity makes my heart swell, the soft touches and gentle kisses. As his lips move down my neck a quiet gasp escapes me and my eyes shoot open as I vault myself up in bed breathlessly.

“Oh shit.” I say breathlessly, “Keep it together Nat.” 

By Thursday morning my nerves from my dream are taking over, I feel butterflies fluttering in my stomach as we wait in the lot for Noah to get off his flight. 

Noah: hey! I’m at pick-up stop H! 

Natalie: Okay! We will be there in a sec! :)

Erin is vibrating with excitement from the backseat and as we turn the corner and see Noah standing with his bags smiling and waving. “There is he! Pull over! Pull over!” Erin yells from behind me. “Okay okay, I have to wait for this car to pass sweetie,” I tell her as a nervous blush creeps up my neck.

I pull up to the side and pop the trunk as Erin shoots out to the car and runs to jump up and wrap her little around Noah. “Noah! You’re back! I’m so excited! What do you what do you want to do? Are you hungry? Me and my Mom like this diner they have the best pancakes!” Erin’s voice rings out and I laugh as I throw the car quickly into park to greet Noah. 

“Hey, Erin! I missed you!” he says dropping his bags on the ground to wrap his arms around her and lift her into a big hug, “lunch sounds amazing.” He turns to me placing Erin back on her feet. She attempts to grab his large duffels off the ground as I round the front of the car and the butterflies flutter again as he brings me into a firm hug. “Hey Natty,” he whispers into my hair. “Hey, Noah,” I respond into his chest. Erin struggles with the bag lifting it into the trunk. “Oh, honey -” I start but Noah quickly rushes over to help throw his bags into the back. “Thanks, little one,” he says to her and ruffles her hair. 

Noah opens the back door and lets her climb back into the car while I move to the driver’s side as a parking guard starts to look like he’s heading closer. “We’re heading out!” Noah politely waves to the guard and gets into the passenger seat. 

Throwing the car back into drive I carefully pull out. “So lunch?” I ask and Noah and Erin agree in unison. “So Erin, your mom says you have a lot of plans? What is first on the list?”

“Do you know how to rollerblade?”

next chapter ->

[seireitonin]

Familar

(Nina and Toby based off a comment I got on a video a year ago :3)

The day started like normal. The two killers waking up from their long night out in the woods, hunting people and proceeding to do whatever they wanted after.

Nina lifts her sore body out of bed and looks over at Toby, who’s still sleeping. She smiles softly, rubbing his soft brown wavy hair.

Speaking of hair, hers was a mess from the night before along with Toby and herself being wild sleepers. She makes her way over to the mirror, looking in it as she sucks her teeth. Tangled and matted pink and black locks making a mess on her head. She was so tired last night she didn’t put a bonnet on, this morning she pays the price.

She pulls out her phone playing one of her playlists quietly to the point where she could hear it, but hopefully not disturb her sleeping partner in crime.

She looks into the mirror again, her dark skin looking dull and washed out, eye bags visible. Nina groans as she didn’t take her makeup off either. She takes a makeup wipe and violently rubs her face. Nina knows it’s not good for her skin, but she was already burned with huge scars from the smile she stupidly cut for Jeff when she was 13, so she didn’t care too much.

She starts to take a brush and yank it through her hair, just wanting to get this tedious process over with, dropping it loudly on accident.

“Shit!” She whisper yelled not wanting to wake Toby.

He stirred and woke up anyway.

“Morning, Ni-Ni!” The brown haired man spoke to her, his voice rough but cheerful to see her.

“Heyy ,Tobes!” Nina replies back with a nickname of her own.

“Damn your hair looks crazy as hell…” Toby’s usual no filter coming through.

“Thanks, Toby…” Nina replies sarcastically.

“Told you to keep your bonnet by your bed but hey…”

“No one asked you!”

Toby chuckles as he loves messing with her, like he does with everyone, but he messes with Nina out of love.

He watches her comb out her matted locks, her emo music playlist playing as he watches. Nina is so focused on her task she’s not singing the words as usual. It’s rare for her to be this focused. They make small talk about the night before as Nina finally finishes her hair.

“Finally!” She tosses her brush on the vanity, throwing her head back and lifting her arms in victory.

“Congratulations! Not so bad when you have me to entertain you.”

“I guess…” Nina teases. But they both know she agrees.

She takes a look in her mirror and spots a hair tie next to her brush on the vanity.

“Haven’t done this in a while….” She starts to put her pink and black hair in a high ponytail, a hair style she hadn’t done in years, feeling slightly nostalgic.

Toby watches her, a memory flashing in his head. Where has he seen that hairstyle in his past? What girl did he know that wore her hair like that? Obviously Nina wore her hair like this often in the past, but it’s not her he’s thinking of.

He zones out, thinking about it. He remembers a girl playing music as he watched her put her hair up a long time ago. The slight smell of vanilla filling his nose. He can’t remember her face, who she is, her name. Nothing. But he remembers that hair style. A long blond ponytail. The thought brings him comfort. Blonde hair and the smell of vanilla and soft humming coming from her as she wraps her hair in the black ponytail holder. What song was it? It had to be from 2009 at the latest…..God, what he wouldn’t give to remember right now.

He remembers her voice being soft. Holding her hand as they walked down train tracks. It couldn’t be a girlfriend. Not only was he too young but he was bullied in school. There’s no way he’d have one. Not till Natalie when he was nineteen and now Nina at 29. So it couldn’t be that.

Toby thinks of the warm feeling that arises in him. A family member? His mom? A cousin? A sister? Did he ever have one? He can’t remember for the life of him.

But he remembers that hair style. Looking at it as she got ready. Looking at her long blonde locks as she held his hand and guided him. Feeling them between his fingers as she held him. But he can’t put a face, a name an age on her. Nothing. Just soft humming and blonde hair with warmth in her heart.

“Did I…have someone?” Toby thinks to himself still zoned out. “Did someone before Natalie…love me?”

Nina’s voice snaps him out of his thoughts.

“Toby! I was talking to you for the last ten minutes! Ugh I feel so stupid now! I didnt know you were zoning out!” Nina exclaims. She’s not upset or anything. Just teasing him.

“Sorry! I was just….thinking of someone.” He trails off slightly.

“Oh? Who?” Nina asks, tilting her head slightly, ready to listen to what he has to say.

Toby hesitates. Not wanting to explain what he can’t even remember. “No one important.” He shrugs it off. He knows in his head that’s not true, but he doesn’t want to dwell on it anymore.

“Oh…uh… want me to make breakfast?” Nina asks trying to get his mind off what could possibly be causing him discomfort or distress.

“Yeah! That would be nice.”

She takes him softly by the hand, leading him to the kitchen. Toby looks at her back. Her long ponytail flowing down it. The familiar feeling lingering in him. Someone taking care of him with a pony tail. How could he even explain that?

“….So nice….” He repeats to himself softly, letting the girl he loves with the ponytail, guide him.

Just like he’s done before. Just like he can barely remember.

[leahsgf]

I had a nightmare I picked the queen card and was chased and killed by the girls, nat and I were daying and she held me while I was dying in her arms 😭 I’m traumatized

your inevitable

pairings. post!crash natalie x reader

warnings. mentions of blood/knives and death

i’m sorry about your nightmare BUT also thank you for the writing inspiration! this is just pure sadness i have no other words..

-

it had all moved so fast. from the moment you plucked the card from the stack in misty’s grasp, and almost instantly accepted your fate. you knew how this went, it was routine to the group by now, there was no way around it.

no returns.

the practically burning cold belonging to shauna’s blade pressed tightly against your throat, as a crowd of eyes stared you down, emotionless, yet glazed over with an almost enjoyment, like some twisted entertainment act.

in what felt like a split second, the force trapping you in place from behind was ripped away from you, and thrown to the ground, making you freeze and your ears ring. a blur of utter chaos erupted around you, and a warm hand clasped around yours, dragging you outside, and away from the cabin, refusing to slow or let up through any stumble you took.

the others clocked on within seconds, mirroring your tracks with a statement of how the wilderness had selected you to run, and for them to hunt. howls and screams followed you, echoing and bouncing off of the trees almost mockingly, the drags of their now finely crafted handmade weapons against the snow behind them.

you had never been the fastest runner on the team, and you knew in the pit of your stomach that all of this was simply the delaying of your inevitable. that’s all it was. that was how this ended. you’d seen it countless times. still, you allowed yourself to be pulled forwards, attempting to keep up with the person.

“come on, it’s okay, we’re gonna be okay, i know a place, just keep moving. i’ve got you”

natalie. of course it was her.

in the beginning of your relationship the pair of you had endless discussions about each of your fears and what you needed to help with these. of course, in all of that you had never once imagined that not only would your anxieties about everyone you love turning and ganging up on you be true, but your best friends would be physically hunting you instead, and it wasn’t some silly thought that natalie could help ease.

the same way you couldn’t reassure her that you weren’t going anywhere and that you weren’t going to leave her. because out in the wilderness, your own existence was no longer something that you had any power over. however, the silent tears slipping down her cheeks told you louder than any words could that she knew exactly what was going to happen, and that she was just doing the same as you. desperately pushing back the inevitable.

you fell to the ground and into natalie’s arms, uncontrollably sobbing and heaving as you stumbled into the space that javi had previously hidden out in. the same one that he had been trying to show her when he died. when he was chosen.

“i-i’m so scared. i don’t want to d-die. pl-please” her arms scrambled to wrap around you, as an unspoken knowing that this was the last time they would fell between the pair of you. there was no promise or reassurance she could give you that wouldn’t be entirely empty. the snow would snitch, the imprints of your previous footsteps trailing your hunters right to you.

you whimpered as she was torn away from you, as if on cue, and launched against a ‘wall’, held there by mari, misty and melissa, who’s eyes were never once not on your body, even through all of natalie’s fighting, as you were viciously hauled up and onto your feet.

van held you up, sternly, as shauna resumed her previous position behind you, and that cold feeling against your neck returned, with a significant increase in force. a refusal to allow you to escape once more.

this time there was no pause. not an ounce of hesitation from the once reserved, shy girl who you had known since you were in diapers.

the girl who cried because she’d accidentally taken your block from you when you were five, now taking your life as if it was a casual, everyday doing.

which it now was.

the wilderness wanted you. so it got you.

the last sound you heard was your girlfriend’s screams as you felt the pressure shift, flush against you, a sudden, violent warmth flooding down your neck before you slumped to the ground like a rag doll, the snapping of sticks below you eerily filling the sudden silence that overcame.

“no no no no no”

natalie fell towards you, the hold on her having been released, wailing hysterically as she cradled you, pulling you close into her and blocking out the chants of “the wilderness chose” surrounding her. she wiped away what had been your last tears and pressed a shaky kiss to your forehead as you remained motionless.

“it’s okay, you go. i love you. i’ll love you forever. i’ll never forget you. i’m so sorry baby. i’m so so sorry.” she weeped as she brushed the hair away from your face, and watched the life fade from your eyes.

she remained in that position, holding you and almost rocking you, her screams not letting up for hours until she couldn’t fight off the others from taking you away.

natalie scatorccio had never been certain about anything in her life. not really. but the one thing that she had been certain of, into adulthood, and even in her own death, decades later, when the hunts still remained, was that her love for you was the best thing she’d ever had.

and she never got over that.

not really.

[animentality]

How many times are y'all gonna fawn and gush and fall for Disney dragging yet another actor back to the franchise in a desperate attempt to keep people subscribed to their streaming service?

Hayden Christiansen was even already on a new Star Wars show.

What next, they drag on Alex Guinness's corpse?

Are you going to piss yourselves with ecstasy when they pull back Natalie Portman for a five second cameo that she filmed on her phone?

Are you going to cut off your fingers and toes and mail them to Bob Iger when Carrie Fisher's corpse is tied to strings and danced like a marionette in the newest episode of The Return of the Death Star Star Death: Returning Actor of the Week: Anthony Daniels?

It's always been eye roll inducing but now it's just sad.

How many times can they do this, and still have you weirdos clapping and screaming and frothing at the mouth?

I normally just don't care about other people's entertainment choices, because God knows you have the right to be a fucking idiot, but I really wonder how long Star Wars and Marvel can continue to parade corpses before a rapt-eyed slack jawed audience of buffoons who love a little necrophilia.

I also despise what Marvel and Star Wars have done to entertainment. Multiverses as an excuse to shoehorn in old actors and dead actors and overdose you on memberberries. Endless cameos that rely entirely on older, more original stories that have already been told before. Interconnected universes with none of the narrative consistency that could make them interesting, used primarily so that you can ooh and ahh as you see actors from the 90s reprising roles, for the sole purpose of nostalgia baiting.

I'm so sick of Disney. I'm so sick of star wars products. I'm so sick of marvel drivel.

I'm so sick of blockbusters like Indiana Jones 6 and Transformers Rise of Beasts and endless sequels and remakes and retools.

Make. New. Fucking. Things.

Ahsoka was already bad enough for existing purely to satisfy Dave Filoni's fetish for his own character. Giving her a solo show was banking entirely on your love for the clone wars.

Bring back Hayden...how bad was ahsoka doing?

Book of Boba Fett must've been doing far worse, because that random episode of the mandalorian plopped inside of it was Disney desperately trying to backpedal and bring back its audience.

Maybe if the ratings don't improve they'll bring back Jango Fett or something so you can go make your gifs and your tiktoks and your gushing posts about how exciting it was for you.

And before you even ask or start drafting something, no.

I was not soliciting opinions on this.

[hauntnowpod]

Episode Thirty-Three - The Epilogue

Our season, and series, finale has arrived. If you loved the show, please share your own eulogies with us a hauntnowpod @ gmail.com

So long, and thanks for all the ghosts 👻

Transcript here!

The Way We Haunt Now is supported in part by an award from the Vermont Arts Council and the National Endowment for the Arts. This episode of The Way We Haunt Now was written by Courtney Floyd and Georgia Mckenzie, with sound design by Brad Colbroock and voice acting by:

Ali Hylton, Jeff Goldman, Kirsty Woolven, and Natalie Hunter as the Apartment

Aubrey Akers as Professor

Becca Marcus as Lota

Brad Colbroock as Cas

Courtney Floyd as Eulalie

Danny Spiller as Aaron

David A Meyers as Cas’s Advisor

David S. Dear as Henry

Eleanor Grey as Frankie

Georgia Mckenzie as Josie

Jess "Bear" Winston as Alicia

Kira Apple as The Narrator and Mary

Lindsay Zana as Danny

Marnie Warner as Parker

Michelle Sellers as Tricia

Paul H. Rollins as Nick

Sian Luxford as Professor 1

Tal Minear as Myrtle

Tim Lowe as Jon Harker

There’s no need to bust out your Ouija board to keep in touch. Whether you’re new to the spirit world or simply a ghost in need of some entertainment, you can visit www.hauntnowpod.com for information about our cast and crew, content warnings, and transcripts.

You can also find us screaming into the void of social media at, you guessed it, @HauntNowPod. Remember to HAUNT RESPONSIBLY.

[cannibalgenders]

I have a lot of thoughts about the way mental illness is treated by the Yellowjackets writers and the fandom, particularly when it comes to the vilification and/or deification of Lottie Matthews but I’m not schizophrenic and it’s not really my place to say what’s what when it comes to that but I DO want to talk about the other character who everyone seems to agree displayed mental illness before the events of the crash and that’s Misty Quigley

The first time we see Misty she’s watching a rat drown with something close to apathy, which is to me clear visual language of what they’re setting Misty up to be. See, there’s this disproved (but still commonly used within entertainment media) psychological theory called the Macdonald Triad, or sometimes the “triad of sociopathy”. It essentially claims that three behaviors displayed by children and teens can predict if they will develop ASPD in adulthood, or become violent criminals. The behaviors are bedwetting, firesetting, and cruelty to animals. The fact that we see Misty behaving cruelly towards animals in her FIRST scene is a clear statement of intention in regards to where her character is going

Now, all of the behaviors in the Macdonald triad are actually more closely linked with prolonged childhood abuse or neglect, which leads to the DEVELOPMENT of personality disorders in some cases, lighting fires or whatever doesn’t actually make you a “sociopath”.

And…Misty isn’t really, either. At least not at first. I personally could very easily see Misty as having ASPD (or conduct disorder, since she’s a minor), but in season 1 the writers seem like they’re putting a lot of effort into associating Misty with this sort of false Hollywood perception of a “sociopath” rather than people with an actual Cluster B personality disorder. And like, Misty displays an obvious lack of empathy and concern for others’ autonomy from the very beginning, but I really and truly wasn’t sold on Misty as a sympathetic portrayal or as representation until closer to the end of Season 2

And really is was Samantha Hanratty that sold me. Because there’s a BIG discrepancy in the way Samantha and the way Christina portrays Misty. 40 year old Misty is an adult set in her ways, she’s clinging to the people who made her feel useful 25 years ago but her old eagerness, her ability to be genuinely affected or hurt has been diminished a LOT. She’s got incredibly muted emotions, masks near constantly, and is willing to do just about anything to maintain her control over wildly out of hand situations.

Whereas Samantha’s young Misty is still in a place where she’s trying to reach out- something’s “wrong” with her, sure, but she genuinely believes that others still have the ability to appreciate her for her authentic self, and much of her manipulative behavior is in search of that validation. Yeah, she doesn’t know how to go about yeah, yeah she’s fucked up, but she’s sharing bits of herself with the expectation that this will get her what she wants, and she’s repeatedly being smacked down.

And then we see the loss of Crystal. The final loss that sort of cements for her that genuine display of emotion and authenticity is doomed to destroy her and everything she cares about. So she stops caring. She detaches. And that really hit me as the most accurate portrayal I’m going to get of what the inside of my head feels like. Her brain keeps her from feeling much in adulthood as protection, but it’s so fucking boring that she’s going through the motions of who she was before all that, playacting at the bubbly musical theater loving dork she could have been, just to try and get some of that excitement back.

And now I’m wondering, with clinging to those old connections having bitten her in the ass so thoroughly, is Misty going to drop the mask completely? Give up on every being anything to anyone? Go back to isolation and manipulation and violence? Or is there hope for her, like Natalie, to make a different choice this time?

[ask-spooky-manor]

The Manor Residents and Horror Movies

Talking about what kind of horror movies each of the characters like and why

Toby is someone that mainly just wants to have a good time. To him, a horror movie doesn’t even have to be scary in order for it to be good, it just needs to at least be entertaining. That’s why he tends to lean towards your classic slashers and has enjoyed that small wave of horror comedy movies we got a few years back.

- Favorite movies: Scream and The Babysitter

______________

Tim prefers horror movies that give you an uneasy feeling rather than outright scaring you. He goes for the movies that gives him a sense of dread and will leave him staying awake at night not because he’s scared but because he can’t stop thinking about it.

- Favorite movies: Skinamarink and Creep

___________

Most people would say that Brian is kind of a freak when it comes to horror movies because he likes the blood and guts and gore, but there’s a decent reason for it. He is someone who almost never gets scared, so most horror movies end up being pretty dull. That’s why he turns to the ones that have the most creative kills because the over the top manner is borderline comical for him.

- Favorite Movie: Terrifier

__________________

Jeff loves a good mystery more than anything, so he enjoys horror movies that really get his brain turning trying to figure out what is even happening. He loves it more when movies need that second viewing and all the small details he missed the first time come together.

- Favorite Movie: Get Out

__________________

Ben doesn’t really care for horror movies unless they tie into a special interest of theirs be it video games or general tech heavy movies. This leads to them really liking the blend of horror and sci-fi.

- Favorite Movies: Possessor and The Invisible Man (2020)

________________

Natalie is a little weird when it comes to horror. She likes challenging herself with the over the top shit. The stuff that would reach the bottom of those disturbing movie icebergs, but at the same time she doesn’t like mindless torture. She prefers disturbing movies that still tell a story over exploitation for the sake of exploitation. After all, she is an artist that loves to find meaning in some of the more disturbed content.

- Favorite Movie: V/H/S/94: The Subject

___________________

Jack isn’t really picky when it comes to horror movies. He just likes anything that tells a good story. He really likes books, and movies are like audiobooks to him since he can’t really watch them. Tell an interesting story, and he’ll be hooked.

- Favorite Movies: Midsommar and The Strangers

_________________

Jane loves a good, campy, over the top, ridiculous, fun horror movie. Horror movies that are actually scary are just such a downer to her. She wants mindless fun to turn to in order to relax after singlehandedly keeping the manor residents alive. She also just likes watching something as dramatic as her.

- Favorite Movies: Bodies Bodies Bodies and Cabin in the Woods

__________________

Nina talks a big game when it comes to horror movies, saying she can handle anything when she’s really a massive wimp. Despite being a true crime girlie (derogatory), the spectacles of horror movies like jump scares and suspenseful music freak her out. It’s probably why the only ones she can really handle are those subtle horror mockumentaires as they purposely mimic the style of all those true crime documentaries she likes to watch.

- Favorite Movie: Banned from Broadcast: Saiko! The Large Family

___________________

For obvious reasons, Sally can’t watch a lot of horror movies, but it hasn’t stopped her from trying. By trying I mean that she watches a lot of cartoon Halloween specials because she thinks that those count as horror.

- Favorite movie: Scary Godmother

____________________

Slender is a fan of the classics, and I mean the classics. Like black and white, super old school, really not all that scary by today standards. Frankly speaking, newer forms of technology freak him out as much as it fascinates him. He still barely has texting down, so when it comes to really any kind of movie, he’ll go for the old ones to relax with. They provide comfort to his overly anxious self.

- Favorite Movie: Frankenstein (1931)

[literaphobe]

I THINK that when it comes to ongoing narratives, things tend to happen that may feel unsatisfying, but that’s like. part of the tragedy. I think that when it came to the fight between monarch and ladybug, with chat noir trapped far far away and having given his miraculous to her to prevent any damage he could’ve done with it — there’s two active tragedies going on here. one, being that chat noir could not confront monarch in a final battle, the villain he’s been fighting for months, nor does he find out that this villain has been his father the entire time. the second one isn’t immediately apparent, but it’s the fact that ladybug HAD to fight it on her own. as it stands, she might currently THINK she won. that even though a wish was made, she managed to get through to gabe and he made a GOOD wish. to an extent, she might even be relieved that he did. because realistically, what could she have done to save adrien’s fate? she WATCHED natalie die, she saw gabriel throw up soot from his rotting body — what hope did either of them have? how relieved must she have felt when she saw natalie walking out in the pink of health, giving adrien a tight hug when all of it was over? but we know that wishes have consequences no matter how noble, and she’ll realize it too, and it’ll eat her alive. she’ll start questioning everything — her supposed victory, the sincerity of gabriel’s wish, letting everyone believe he was a hero, letting anyone at all believe that the world was saved. and adrien would get unsettled more and more as the dust settles. the resentment for his father that still lingers combating the guilt of knowing he ‘saved the world’, the feeling that everything in the world is perfect, perfectly happy, but him. the questions he asks that ladybug dodges or answers in ways that feel like lies, the odd sense that his girlfriend marinette is hiding something too, unsettled by something too

there’s a lot of directions they can take based on the displacement of the usual fighting dynamic that happened in the s5 finale, is what I’m saying. THAT BEING SAID as a standalone episode because of the hole that was ripped in the dynamic it absolutely can fall flat for anyone watching, seem less entertaining, etc. and that happens! but bc it’s not the series finale sometimes things feeling awful and bad and tragic are important to keep the motor running