#keep attempting different diet plans and stuff and failing at them all

[coldcrypt]

using coke coffee and nic first thing in the morning just as a lax in order to get a proper weigh in is probably an escalation but fuck it we ball

[quitealotofsodapop]

MvA assorted headcanons

General:

So many years together has made the core monsters inseperable. If something affects one member, it affects the group.

All. The. Monsters. Are. Family.

It takes Susan a while to understand inside jokes and past incidents because of being the most recent addition.

There are Other anomalous creatures kept in Area 5X, but they are either non-sentient and/or are too dangerous to be kept around the more human-friendly monster group.

Area 5X is so gotdang big because they were expecting a lot more kaijus like Insecto to crop up. Sadly not many have surfaced to justify the space.

There’s a hangar in Area 5X full of wrecked UFOs. Some are spacecraft wreckage while others are stuff like weird meteors (Susan’s is in there), and at least one alien creature that got crystallised upon entering Earth’s atmosphere.

There’s significant difference in staff employed at different points throughout the past 50 years. There are far more women on the Area 5X worksheet than back in the 50s, and the guards are generally more sympathetic towards the monsters. Many modern staff members have been reprimanded or let go for failing to uphold secrecy, or for unnecessary cruelty towards the monsters.

Budget cuts were a legitmate concern up until the Battle of Golden Gate Bridge. The facility was far more barebones and sterile before the government had to formally recognise Area 5X’s importance. There have been a lot of redecorating at the facilty since the fat checks started coming in.

Putting individual characters under read due to length.

Susan:

Enjoys many hobbies considered stereotypically feminine; baking, sewing, cosmetics, etc...

Grandparents and extended family are farmers or are atleast connected to the business. Modesto is the agricultural centre of California after all. Her parents were the first of their generation to go against the mold and seek out white-collar careers.

Studied cosmetology in school and was working at a beauty salon to save up for her and Derek’s wedding.

Is very athletic and grew up doing a number of physical extracurriculars like cheerleading, dodgeball, and roller-derby.

Grew up being teased for being the shortest kid in her class/family. They still tease her for it.

Greatly fears causing collateral damage and/or harm to others through her size.

Has issues with anxiety, worsened only by her new job as “savior of earth”. She wishes for a confidant to tell her worries to.

Married life with Derek was doomed to fail. Susan had a plan in place for what came after the marriage, and focusing 100% on Derek’s career was not it. There’s also the line from Derek’s mother about Susan being “the weatherman’s wife”, implying that she was to be the homemaker and not have a career of her own. It’s possible that Susan was planning to settle down and have kids with Derek, but the lack of control she had in moving to Fresno implied that more was going on.

Is currently “taking a break” from love and dating, despite gaining many new admirers.

Tries her best to return to Modesto to visit her family and friends whenever possible, though work often keeps her away for weeks at a time.

If she retains her height-shifting abilities as in the series; Susan goes through really bad “growing” pains.

Link:

Was frozen in his relative late-teens during a cold snap. Got shifted around until he ended up somewhere in Greenland before being discovered by modern humans. Post-thaw he went a bit wild, swimming frantically back south to try and find his old enviroment.

Was one of many scrappy youngsters in his troop, with a number of adoptive parents. The strongest ruled the troop, and Link was fairly weak in comparision to the leaders. He had gotten into a fight the day of his freezing (over something silly in hindsight) and swam away to sulk. When he didn’t return after the cold snap - the troop accepted that he had likely died out on his own.

Likes to freak out humans by making up weird biology facts about his species and ones he’s fought against - like joking about laying eggs or having his tail dettach and regrow like a lizard. However there’s some things he has to ask about, because he doesn’t have medical knowledge or words to describe something.

A lot of his macho behavior came from imitating the guards who kept watch on him. 1950s violent military alpha males aren't a very good role model for someone who doesnt know what societal norms are yet. Link was a lot more insufferable back in the day but chilled out as he began interacting with other walks of life.

Has a high paternal instinct and immediately becomes softer around kids and smaller animals.

Has body language similar to a cat/alligator. Slaps his tail when angry or in deep thought. And yes; Link purrs/rumbles when happy.

Loves monster movies - especially the ones where the monsters “win”. He cried when he saw “Beauty and the Beast” and then immediately booed loudly when the Beast turned human.

Does Not Trust doctors or scientists due to bad past experiences. Will only go to Dr Cockroach and Monger if he ever gets hurt/ill. Gets stressed fast if he has to be in a waiting room or doctors office.

Link had no idea what gender indentities or orientations were until recently - he did come from a pre-human civilization that really didnt mind/care about the schemantics. It took him some time to wrap his head around it. He identifies himself as bisexual after much thought and many hours alone on the computer.

Don't press him about his body. He's built different from humans and cis people. He will punch anyone who doesnt respect his or anyone elses identity.

Has been in love before. It didn’t end well.

Will occasionally wear clothes, but finds it a challenge to find anything that fits him. Will give any shoes he finds to Dr Cockroach and BOB to eat.

The best driver/pilot out of all the monsters.

Dr Cockroach:

True name is Jaques-Yves Herbert. Prefers to just go by "Dr Cockroach" because he dislikes the association with his birth family.

Picks up human languages very easily, although not as quickly as he can understand animals.

Parents were a mixed scientist couple. His father was an aggressive “Strong British Man” that would beat him son down for not following orders or for not meeting his standards for a man. Dr C turned down both chances to attend his parents funerals.

This man isn’t straight. He probably uses old-fashioned slang when asked about romance such as; “I am Uranian” or “I wear a green carnation”. It took Susan a few times to realise what he meant, as she is used to a more open minded enviroment.

Got the idea of transforming into a cockroach from reading Franz Kafkas “The Metamorphosis” as a child. He sympathized with Gregor’s abusive situation, and began considering the possibilties of how one could survive better as a creature like a cockroach.

Studied in biology and entomology in the Uk before moving to the states to follow engineering. Obtained his degree in Dance as a “side gig” in University.

Has been barred from free access to the coffee maker/machine due to overnighters. Once stayed awake so long that he forgot the letter “R”.

Owned a terrarium of Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches throughout college. He mourned each of them when his roommate’s iguana got into the tank.

Was a "beatnik" back in the day and still kinda is. Embraces and encourages modern counterculture as he himself was not given such acceptance in his youth. He has however shamefully eaten his old Lenny Bruce album.

Hasn’t actually aged physically since his transformation. He attributes this to the fact that certain athropods can’t age physically beyond maturity. Link is very jealous.

Has obtained more degrees while in captivity, as Monger allowed him access to research and learning materials. He has however had his allowances revoked for previous escape attempts/doomsday devices.

Does still enjoy human food, but the cockroach instinct of "eat detritus" tends to overrule his eating choices. Can’t cook either.

Ironically a terrible driver. The damages from previous drives has made Monger restrict him from operating even a razor scooter.

BOB:

Pretty much considers himself human. Was created by them, raised by one (Monger), and talks like one. Gets sad when he's reminded that no other humans are blue blobs like him.

Absorbed some dna from the scientists present at his "birth", leading to his eye, speech, and omnivorous diet.

Doesnt actually need to breathe (as he can just absorb oxygen through his mass) but the fact that humans Do means that BOB thinks he has to as well.

Shares some physical characteristics with tomatoes/nightshade plants, as he is technically half tomato. He refuses to eat tomatos for this very reason, considering it cannibalism.

Attracts garden pests looking for a tomato plant. This unwittingly makes BOB a pretty good bug zapper.

Still retains his "mental broadcast" ability from "BOB's Big Break" although at a more subtle level. He tends to parrot the things he accidentally "eavesdropped" on.

Is empathetic, and can tell when others aren't doing ok emotionally. Will flop down on someone who’s really sad to comfort them. No brain, only heart.

Best cook out of the monsters. If he doesn’t forget what he’s making at least.

"Whats a gender? Can I eat it?"

Insectosaurus:

Core body is that of a Japanese Silkmoth, although she ended up being spliced with other animals present on the island during her initial mutation; namely ants and ground squirrels.

Eats over a literal ton of mulberry leaves per day. Also enjoys oranges.

Secretly wishes to be more humanoid.

Was only able to pupate and transform due to physical trauma. It seems that her transformation was like a “power-up” that required her to be in geniune distress for it to activate.

First language is Japanese. She learned it from the intial recovery team, and later developed an understanding of English from years in Area 5X.

Goes into torpor in cold weather. Pretty much impossible to wake her up for missions during Winter, as she needs to “rev up” before becoming mobile.

Still very much Link’s best friend. Still enjoys sports, chicks, and beer.

Monger:

Full name is; Warren Rex Monger.

Is very protective of the monsters and will defend them to the death.

Pretty much raised BOB (as seen when BOB was a baby blob in “Night of the Living Carrots”), and considers him his “freaky gelatinous son”.

Has a reputation of being a “control-freak” due to his aggressive overseeing of the monsters’ containment. This toughness is partly because of incidents that occured without his knowledge. Lets just say some scientists have been wedgied/fired for running experiments on the monsters without Monger’s approval.

Has a very “Ron Swanson” emotional response and view of the world. Crying is acceptable only at funerals and at the Grand Canyon (if he hadn’t lost his tear ducts in the war).

Has been married multiple times. Will not confirm or deny if he is currently seeing anyone.

Invisible Man/TiM:

Legit got out but no one at Area 5X is sure how. He suffered a geniune medical emergency and disappeared after surgery. The other monsters were informed that he died from complications to deter them from getting escape ideas.

Is able to be detected in Infrared light. Dr Cockroach managed to rig up goggles to view TiM in case of injury and to foil pranks.

Was a scientist working on an invisibility potion for the military and used himself as a guinea pig. Hasn’t actually been able to replicate his results since - thinks the effect may have been caused by a genetic abnormality.

Dr Cockroach and him are massive rivals. Both actually met eachother pre-transformation through a CalTech expedition. This makes the pair one of few people that have seen the others human face.

Is 100% naked. Was forced to wear clothing once this was discovered.

A massive prankster and a cynic. Him and Link were a force to be reckoned with.

Has revisted the facility multiple times and has started a number of ghost stories.

Any additions are welcome! I proably have alot more to dump about. Might make one of the alien characters from the series

[danideservedbetter]

Alright so, here’s how things are gonna work.

First off, welcome to this side blog. Since it won’t be jolly fun fandom content and will be a little more personal I decided to separate my health and writing journey from my fandom stuff, although all my fandom content will still be linked on my main blog here.

(I write Izuocha/bnha content which isn’t super popular so if you’re not here for that then yeah, I don’t blame you. But if you are I have a link to our discord and community content pinned so def check it out if you’re interested.)

Secondly, you guys will hear details about stuff relating to my health like what kinds of things affect my disorder based on the tests some doctors are ordering, how I’m trying to improve my diet and activity, and routines and goals I’m attempting for myself. I am underweight, and that’s something I’m going to be talking a bit about, so if that’s triggering following this blog might not be the best thing for you. Details under the cut.

So, what kind of disorder do I have and why did I decide to make a health journey blog? My disorder is called idiopathic hypersomnia. Basically what that means is that when my disorder is acting up (based on factors like stress especially or my generalized anxiety rearing its ugly head) I have the capacity to sleep. And sleep and sleep and sleep and sleep. My longest recorded uninterrupted “sleep-attack” was 26 hours long and ever since I caught Covid in January, my body had been slowly growing weaker to the point I was starting to develop atrophy. I’ve had this ten years and my neurologist suspects inactive cells from mononucleosis I caught at 14 was the cause, because other IH patients have linked their sleeping problems to a case of mono or have had it at some point in their lives.

This disease stole many years and many things I’ve looked forward to from me. I lost friends and experiences and failed so many college classes I had to drop out.

I’ve decided I’m taking them back.

It’s not going to be easy. Just as it took ten years to convince myself that my tiredness was something I chose to give into, it took several extra years and many fights with my family to convince them that I had a real actual neurological disorder and that I need help sometimes. My parents and grandmother finally understand that I have to finish college and find a very special boss willing to work around my erratic progress on projects, but the outsiders they married are not as convinced. My grandmother’s husband kicked me out of their house because he wants to be the center of attention and doesn’t like that some days I’m so weak that I needed my grandmother’s help, and my father’s wife thinks I’m a lazy and ungrateful leech who “gets anxiety just being around” me. Both told my father I’ll never be happy so why even bother with me, but my dad is actually striving to understand his own recently-diagnosed PTSD so while we still butt heads he’s understanding that I have to take things day by day because every tiny circumstance affects my disorder.

Now, why did I decide to air all this out? Well, being open about my disorder and how it affects me has helped at least two people that I know of find out that the tiredness they experience isn’t the typical “American work force exhaustion” they were trained to believe is normal. So if I can help even one more, I’ll gladly talk about what this entails and how I deal with it day to day. Another reason is that I’m also one of those big advocates who believes talking candidly about mental health destigmatizes it and sharing ideas can help us grow as people and maybe make it a little easier to deal with.

So now that you know a little bit about me and my disorder, here are my big goals for the next three months provided my university takes pity on me and actually lets me go back.

First up: create routines to train my body to get used to living a full day fully awake. This includes waking up at the same time and going to sleep at the same time. It means getting dressed and going out and doing things, even little things— which I’ll get to in a sec.

Second: I write. I have a novel in limbo and I write fanfics. Writing is a big part of who I am and I’ve written one thing this year, which for a whole six-month stretch is upsetting and disappointing. Today is my reset. In the next 569 days I want to to finish the six stories I have in limbo (except the larger one) and finally reach my goal of posting 200k words in a single year. I wont be hard on myself if I can’t accomplish this because honestly finishing anything in the chaos of my life is going to be a miracle but. There ya go.

Third: go back to freakin college. I don’t care what it takes. Sit down with every official, every lawyer, and every professor it takes to get me back enrolled in classes in the fall.

Fourth: I have several smaller things I have to do, short term goals, stuff like that. I’m gonna create a to do list each day of small tasks I want to get done and while some of these things will be part of my daily routine I am throwing in like one or two things a day that just need to be done. My writing goal will change daily and I’ll keep y’all updated on that with every post I make.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Dani! That’s so much!! Well, a few months ago I remembered hey!! I basically have a computer in my hand, why make it hard on myself. So I downloaded certain apps to help me out. This isn’t me saying “hey go subscribe to these apps because I said so” it’s just that through a lot of trial and error I’ve come to find that these certain apps work for me and I’ve yet to come across one that has the functionality of everything I need.

Tiimo — so this is an app I found developed by people with autism for people with autism to help them develop good habits and routines. It has preset daily schedules (things like morning routines or nightly routines or work routines) and an internal alarm to let you know when to move on to the next task. I myself have extremely low-level aspergers (to the point where my doctor won’t give me an official diagnosis because I didn’t want people think that *it’s* the reason I have issues with school), so moving from task to task can be difficult sometimes and I also deal with getting distracted. This widget also appears on my home screen so I know what I have to do at a glance. You can program in weekly and daily tasks to fully customize your schedule, which is fantastic for someone like me who wants to for example rotate chores. This is hopefully going to help me get my body in the habit of adjusting to routines and transitioning from one task to another, as well as getting important things done responsibly.

Promptly Journals — I’ve been told for a while that journaling is helpful mentally to kind of recenter yourself, so a bit ago I downloaded several journal apps to add to my morning routine. Now some will prefer more creatively free journals, but I prefer this one that gives me small prompts I can do in a short amount of time that just allows me to get my thoughts down. I can even add pictures at the bottom that go with the theme! I’m scared I’ll run out of prompts eventually lol but until then this app works very well for my needs.

Stretchingexercise — Now idk if it’s from lack of sleep from my disorder, the position I sleep in when I do sleep, all the physical labor I’ve had to do in the past couple weeks, my medicine, or w h a t but I suffer from body aches like no one would believe. I know stretching is supposed to help with that, so I downloaded this app to help me do non-demanding physical activity that wakes me up in the mornings and helps relieve pain so I don’t keep having to take pain relievers. This one has different plans for things like muscle tension, back pain, warm ups— and it also gives you rudimentary weight updates (I’m underweight lololol so we’re looking to fix that) or plan updates. It’s worked really well for me so far and gives you animations and descriptions of the workouts (some taken from yoga) as well as timed breaks and a narrated guide. It’s been pretty helpful in temporary relief and if nothing else gets my blood flowing in the mornings.

Widgetsmith Step counter — in addition to the stretching thing one thing my doctor and I discussed that helps with the sedentary lifestyle is simply walking. I’ve needed so bad to relieve my stamina and reverse the atrophy, and walks have been stellar for that. Now I live in the New Orleans area so humidity and heat force me to go at the crack of Dawn, but honestly my weenie dachshund Charlie really enjoys our time out so he goes with me! The CDC recommends 10,000 steps a day which seems like a lot and it is if you don’t get out much. But this gives me an excuse to get dressed and do the hygienic thing and help Charlie be healthy too, as well as give me time for brainstorming because we walk in a truly beautiful area. I’m sure everyone installed widgetsmith with the last iOS update (Apple users anyway) and while at first the step counter was just interesting I’ve since come to rely on it! We do our 5000 in the morning, which of course is half, and I find that other things I do throughout the day typically drive the counter higher. Anything leftover can easily be accomplished by an evening walk in our neighborhood. Now the caveat is that I have to remote have my phone in my pocket because I don’t own a watch or anything fancy lol, but honestly I need to keep it on me anyway so that serves as a good reminder.

Todoist — this one is my FAVORITE. Ever since I’ve decided that I have trouble keeping track of things I need to do and small stuff I need to keep in mind and appointments, etc, I decided to find a list app. This is the one I found that absolutely helps me for everything from my list of room supplies I need to buy, to my reading list, to general tasks I have coming up I need to complete. And its widget functionality keeps it right on my Home Screen! More organized individuals can just use tiimo, but I’m definitely not one of those individuals so this app is sorely needed and appreciated.

And of course, I know building habits the first few weeks is HARD. So for days my body doesn’t respond to my alarms, I have a checklist of the key things I have to do to keep my life as functional as possible.

So that’s that on that. I’m going to try to keep writing updates and my daily goals in a post in the morning, and reblog what I accomplished in the evening. It’s gonna be tough. But I’m thinking if I can start small I’ll be able to build my stamina enough to return to college and be successful when I do. I hope that anyone watching this journey draws some kind of meaning or inspiration from it. And you guys can even follow along if y’all want! Especially for writers or people trying to get healthier. I can’t promise what works for me will work for you (and honestly I expect things to change especially if I get accepted into college again) but hey, I figure it’s worth a shot.

I hope you guys enjoy watching this journey, if nothing else I hope it’s entertaining. And maybe it’ll be successful. I do know that I’m just gonna try for it, and hope it works out.

First daily update to follow

Xoxo

Dani

[calorieworkouts]

7 Skills You Need to Learn to Get in Shape

You wish to get in shape as well as you are trying hard, however still not obtaining anywhere?

Let's change that. Let's undergo 7 skills you can learn that will assist you to get in better shape.

1. Patience

If you ask some actually seasoned fitness instructor what is the biggest obstacle of people who want to obtain in form, after that the solution should definitely be a psychological one. Everyone can find out the auto mechanics, however the psychological challenges are constantly the hardest to overcome.

In physical fitness, the one skill that lots of people do not have is definitely patience.

People are naturally restless as well as want fast repairs and instantaneous outcomes, which only plays in hand for the supplements companies who primarily market magic pills promising over night success.

Well, things is that if you were overeating for the past 10 years or two and have not gone to the fitness center considering that high institution, after that it will certainly take a while till you reverse all those "negative years". You can't expect overnight success, in spite of what you hear on TV.

You got ta stop searching for the easiest as well as quickest path and you have to start doing what is actually essential to succeed, you have to make the dedication and then be person. If it would certainly takes days or weeks as well as taking a couple of supplements to obtain in shape, everyone would certainly be ripped by now.

2. Without PLANNING You Get Nowhere

You obtained ta have an objective as well as strategy on just how you are going to get there. Again this is true in nearly any area of life, however let's see exactly how this relates to physical fitness specifically.

Let's say you are bit overweight as well as haven't been striking the health club very frequently in the previous years. Well, because case here is an example of your goal as well as plan.

GOAL: Lose 20 pounds of fat in the next 12 weeks as well as develop some strong muscle mass foundation and also hypertrophy.

PLAN:

Calculate just how much calories you need to eat to lose those pounds

Structure your diet regimen plan around your lifestyle (ex.: lunch with colleagues or dinner with household)

Get a fitness center membership, begin going to the gym

Invest in a quality program (Beach Body Workout Plan is constantly an excellent selection)

Get a coach to reveal you the exercises from the workout program (or a minimum of watch some great YouTube video clips below)

Take action today!

Let's go via a different scenario.

If you are pretty lean and also you have been training for a few years, however you are still not torn as well as you are stuck, below's how your goal and your plan might appear like:

GOAL: Enter into single digit bodyfat (measured by DEXA or at the very least BodPod), obtain closer to your hereditary possibility, focus on boosting your V-taper and maximizing your Shoulder-to-Waist ratio.

PLAN:

Get an advanced muscle building protocol

Train shoulders every day, then train either back or chest and also end your workout with training your arms or legs

Make certain you provide yourself permission to lift light to totally concentrate on tightening and also muscular tissue tension

Stop placing cash right into supplements, simply keep the Healthy protein and also Creatine and also unload the rest

Start producing calorie deficiency by workout to get leaner than you are now

There is a saying that if you fail to prepare, you intend to stop working. It holds true. Do not skip this step.

Most individuals simply ask yourself around and also go with life without any type of objective, plan or framework, no wonder they never obtain anywhere.

Once you succeed with those fundamental goals as well as build a better looking body, you will be able to utilize this very same method as well as prosper in almost any other are of your life.

Why?

Because you will have a plan for yourself that works for you.

3. Dedication Is Necessary for Success

Every person wishes to get in form, but a lot of guys most likely to the health club to raise or sort of job out. Not truly ready to place the effort right into it, and also that's exactly how they deal with everything in their life.

Guys that obtain outcomes, most likely to the health club to do some significant strength training and they put 100% right into everything they perform in life.

End of story.

Decide on whether you really wish to attain something or if you are okay with resembling every person else - just mosting likely to the gym to functioning out on your ego not training your muscles.

It's your choice.

There are no results without initiative first.

And impressive results will certainly take 100% of your effort.

If you believe that you can go to the fitness center two times a week, chat with the personnel for half an hour and afterwards do a couple of sets on the bench and also some curls as well as resemble a fitness model, after that please don't also bother going to that gym, you are just using up area and also equipment that individuals who are actually serious concerning this need.

ALWAYS placed 100% into everything you do especially exercises and also you will get the above average results you aim for.

4. Consistency Means Progress

You need to place initiative right into your action, but you additionally have to repeat it over and over again.

Going to the fitness center as soon as well as giving all of it you can is fantastic, however not enough.

You need to go to the fitness center routinely As Well As constantly provide it your all, just then you will relocate ahead.

Most people expect to diet regimen and also train for 12 weeks and also obtain it over with. Well you definitely can make a large transformation in 3 months, however you will certainly still need to view your diet and also train after that despite the fact that it will not require as much effort to remain in form as it did to get there.

If physical fitness is not a component of your way of life after that you do not need to bother, since it's truly concerning consistent effort, not one time ruptured of it.

If you wish to get (excellent) results, either much more in shape body or anything else, you have to consistently put initiative into your activities, period.

5. Focus Means Quicker Results

To obtain solid results and also build a killer body you require to find out how to concentrate on one point at a time. Today's society advertises multitasking and doing numerous tasks simultaneously, well if you ever examine effective people you will certainly notice that they will certainly establish different goals and separate them into weekly and day-to-day tasks, yet will certainly always concentrate on one point each time, never more.

You achieve your goals when you completely direct your attention in one method. Splitting your focus and also attempting to concentrate on as well lots of points at the same time will certainly obtain you stuck and frustrated.

What you concentrate on expands, remember that.

If you can discover how to concentrate on the activity of the lift, agreement the muscular tissue fully during that motion and feel it functioning, and do this for a hr and after that leave the gym, you will certainly build a wonderful physique.

6. Acting Is Trick to Enter Shape

Most individuals love to talk, but nobody suches as to do stuff.

Well, you can review anything you want, you can be committed, you can have every ability needed to succeed, but if you do not do anything with it, what's the point?

Well, individuals that get results are always people that do and also attempt one of the most of the approaches.

You need to go out there and also do it.

You need to obtain the workout strategy and also follow it for 12 weeks or 20 as it's contacted get the promised results. Thinking of whether it will certainly function for you or otherwise, will not obtain you anywhere, yet that's exactly what the majority of people do.

Want to construct a wonderful physique and also enter shape?

You have to take action!

7. If You Don't Idea in Yourself, After That Don't Even Bother Trying

This one talks for itself. If you believe you can't do something, after that you are right, you can not and also absolutely nothing you do will alter that.

Just like the previous 6 abilities, relying on your own is an ability as well and also anyone can learn it.

Learn to think in yourself, in what you do as well as never ever give up.

You can accomplish what you desire and you will certainly achieve it if you apply what you have actually just learnt as well as put your mind into it and do something about it today.

Summary:

Patience is among the most significant obstacles you will encounter, however additionally a needed skill to obtain in shape

Without preparation you get nowhere - Establish goals as well as create a strategy on getting there

Dedication is essential for success - You actually need to want to achieve your goal and afterwards offer it 100% of your effort

Consistency means progression - You need to work on yourself consistently and also commonly to relocate ahead

Focus implies quicker results - Focus on one point at a time

Taking action is vital - Most individuals simply check out fitness, discuss with their buddies and make up excuses why particular programs wouldn't work for them, be the different, be the man that tries the programs and obtains results

If you do not idea in yourself, after that do not even bother attempting - You need to have a strong idea system to make it through the internal and outer challenges you will certainly face

Now it's your turn. Are you stuck with your physique objectives? What is your current physical fitness goal and do you have a plan to get there? Let us know, the MyBeautyGym community wishes to learn through you.

[galaxxyboy]

gimmie gimmie s’more

summary: Shane somehow convinces Ryan to go on a weekend long, technology free sex-cation in the middle of the woods, with nothing more than a tent and a blanket to protect them from the elements.

or a weekend full of sex and feelings dump in the woods word count: 4,469 warnings: trans character, trans!ryan, explicit smut (vaginal penetration, unsafe sex, safe sane and consensual) 

“Ryan. Ryaaaan. Ryan. Ry-guy. Baby. Love of my life. Boogara. B boy. Berryga-“

“Holy shit.” Ryan doesn’t look up from his phone where he’s playing mobile sudoku like an old man, but he does tilt his chin in Shane’s direction.

“Look at me,” Shane says. Ryan complies as best as he can, (Shane is lying on his chest, after all, which is an awkward angle), but at least he’s done with mobile sudoku. Shane casts his eyes up at Ryan, fucking gorgeous and open, and then he claps his hands together and says, “camping.”

“Nope,” Ryan replies, and he’s back to mobile sudoku before Shane can even finish his sentence.

“Ry,” Shane says. He makes grabby hands at Ryan and Ryan finally puts his phone down to lace their fingers together. “It’ll be fun.”

The thing is, Ryan, in spite of Shane’s relentless teasing, isn’t some kind of Californian flower. He’s been camping before with his family as a kid, and actually enjoyed it. That kind of camping, though, involved a rented RV with an actual bedroom and a place to cook food. He figures Shane, a wild midwesterner, has something different in mind. Some kind of rustic camping experience where they’ll both be mauled by a bear in the middle of fucking, or something.

And besides, Ryan would rather take his rare time off from worrying about Watcher fucking Shane in their bed, in their house, and not in the bear infested woods, thank you very much.

“The last time you said something would be fun, I had to bring you to a Vegas ER to have a dragon dildo surgically removed,” Ryan points out.

Shane shudders at the memory. “It wasn’t exactly surgical,” he argues.

“Dude, they knocked you out for a good twenty minutes.”

Shane waves a hand as if he can get rid of that memory. “Well anyway,” he says. He rests his hands on Ryan’s stomach, under his shirt, and looks up at him through big brown eyes. Dirty pool . “Just imagine it, Ry,” he says, his voice soft. “Just me and you. No one around for miles. The sun on our skin.” He moves his hand lower. “ All our skin.”

“I fucking hate you,” Ryan answers, his voice a bit rough. Shane doesn’t answer, and Ryan raises an eyebrow at him. “No more dragon dildos?”

Shane holds his other hand, the one not currently attempting a break into Ryan’s pants, up in the air. “I do solemnly swear.”

Ryan sighs. “Fine!” he answers, and Shane rewards him with a rather mind blowing orgasm, so Ryan can’t be totally to blame for his Pavlonian response to Shane’s puppy dog eyes.

FRIDAY

Ryan isn’t sure if he should feel vindicated or scared that apparently apprehensive was the right word to describe how one should feel about Shane’s camping plans. As Shane unloads his car, it’s brought to Ryan’s sharp attention that Shane has packed very lightly: a cooler full of cheap beer, a small tent, an inflatable mattress (which, like, okay), a single blanket and multiple bags of graham crackers, marshmallows and chocolate bars. It seems that he’s brought no real food for a three day camping trip. Ryan’s not entirely convinced that they’ll be able to live off this diet, but Shane, taking off to their location with a tent and cooler in hand, seems non-pulsed.

“Hey Shane?” Ryan asks. Shane turns to look at him and Ryan holds up the cooler and one of the bags. “The fuck?”

“S’mores,” Shane answers, which does not answer Ryan’s question but okay. “Come on. Grab the rest of it. We’re burning daylight, baby!”

Ryan grabs the rest of the stuff, grumbling under his breath as he follows Shane. Shane arrives at the camping site first, true to his word, there are no people around, and pulls out the instructions for the tent. A smirk spreads over Ryan’s face as he watches Shane, furrowed brow and all, reading fucking instructions on how to put up a tent. “Need help, bud?”

Shane looks up at Ryan and rolls his eyes at the cocky face staring back at him. “Nah,” he answers. “I got this. Just sit right there and look pretty, baby. Leave the hard work to me.”

Ryan sits on the edge of the cooler and watches Shane struggle for the next ten minutes, grumbling under his breath. Eventually, Ryan decides to stop torturing the guy and gets up, helps him set up the tent. It takes all of two minutes, and Ryan smiles at Shane when it’s done. “Fuck you,” Shane says. “I totally had that in the bag.”

Ryan laughs. “You’re such a liar.” He puckers his lips at Shane and says, mockingly, “say thank you, baby.”

“Thank you, baby,” Shane replies as he presses his lips to Ryan’s. “Now come on,” he says. “Let’s get this air mattress going.”

Unfortunately, the two of them don’t have as much luck with the air mattress as they did with the tent. “I see,” Shane says, kneeling on the floor. “It needs batteries.”

Ryan rolls his eyes at Shane. “You didn’t think to replace them?”

“It’s not my fault,” Shane defends. He flops the end of the air mattress on the floor. “It’s Steven’s air mattress.”

Ryan is kind of morbidly curious how Shane talked Steven into giving them his air mattress, or why Steven even has an air mattress in the first place, but he doesn’t ask. Instead, he says, “well I’ll just take the car and go get some more batteries.”

Ryan reaches for the keys, but Shane shakes his head. “Immersion, baby,” he responds, tapping either side of Ryan’s chest. And that’s how Ryan ends up that night laying on the cold, damp floor with only a blanket and Shane to keep him warm. Comfortable.

Ryan, trying and failing to sleep while staring at the ceiling, says “I hate you,” into the silence. When Shane doesn’t respond, Ryan looks down at him. Shane’s got his head on Ryan’s chest, long legs bracketing Ryan’s, arms around his waist, dead asleep. He looks so peaceful like this, no worry on his face, and Ryan, despite himself, brushes Shane’s hair and thinks about how fucking lucky he is to have someone like Shane.

SATURDAY

Ryan wakes up to Shane sneaking out from their blanket. “No,” he whines, groggy, reaching his arms in Shane’s general direction. When there’s no reply, Ryan squints his eyes open.

Shane isn’t in their tent at all. Ryan thinks Shane may have been mauled by bears which, while obviously traumatizing, would kind of serve him right for not listening to Ryan in the first place.

“Shane?” Ryan calls. He reluctantly leaves the safety of their tent to hunt for Shane’s dead body, which is how he finds Shane sitting over the edge of a cliff, watching the sunrise. The fact that the sun is rising cements in Ryan’s mind that they definitely should be sleeping, but he finds it’s hard to be grumpy at being woken up so early when Shane looks fucking etheral, brilliant yellow and orange rays coating his skin, reflecting off the water, rising heat covering Ryan like a blanket.

Ryan sits next to Shane and laces their fingers together. Neither of them speak for a while, watching the sunrise until the sun has fully risen, and the heat is a little more present. Shane turns to kiss Ryan, whispers, “love you, baby,” like a secret for the two of them to share, and then promptly stands, quickly shreds his clothes (Ryan gives him an incredulous look for that one), and jumps into the water.

“What the fuck?” Ryan shouts down at his boyfriend when he emerges from the water, hair a mess and laughing.

“Skinny dipping!” Shane answers. Ryan feels like he has god damn whiplash from the complete 180 his morning has taken. “Join me, Ry!”

Ryan, as with most things, feels drawn in like a moth to a flame to one of Shane’s crazy schemes. Despite himself, he shrugs off his clothes and jumps in the water next to Shane, making sure to thoroughly soak the asshole to teach him a lesson.

“Hey!” Shane shouts when Ryan resurfaces from the water. He splashes Ryan, and Ryan splashes back, and eventually they’re in a full out splash war like children. It ends when Shane holds his hands up as Ryan splashes a particularly big splash in his face. “You win, you win.”

Ryan’s giggles die out as he takes Shane in. His skin is glowing in the morning sun, his hair a mess on top of his head, his eyes sparkly. Ryan moves closer so that he can pull Shane towards him until their skin is touching. He brushes a piece of Shane’s hair out of his face and says, “you’re fucking beautiful.”

Shane goes red. “You’re fucking beautiful,” he answers, and then pulls Ryan into a kiss. He tastes like seawater and s’mores and something so undeniably Shane that Ryan kind of never wants to stop kissing him, like, ever.

When Shane pulls back, he fixes Ryan with a devious smile. “You know,” he says conversationally, “back in the day, I held the record amongst my friends for the longest any of us could hold our breaths underwater.”

Sounds like a boastful lie, but to be fair, so does most of Shane’s crazy midwestern childhood. “Yeah?” Ryan asks.

“Yeah,” Shane replies. He skirts his fingers up Ryan’s thigh, almost touching him but not quite, and says against Ryan’s ear, all husky in a way that makes Ryan fucking melt, “you wanna see?”

When Ryan nods, Shane backs him up against the cliff and uses the momentum of the water to lift Ryan onto the cliff. Ryan wants to argue that this is really no testament to his breath-holding abilities, but then Shane pulls Ryan close by his ass and attaches his mouth to Ryan’s clit and Ryan really loses the ability to argue anything.

Shane pushes two fingers into Ryan’s hole and moves slowly, languidly, as if he has all the time in the world to make Ryan come apart. He lets up on Ryan’s clit to kiss just above, his thighs, everywhere but where Ryan needs him. Ryan locks his legs around Shane’s head, drawing him in closer. Shane pulls his fingers out just enough to spread Ryan’s lips, and he licks a broad stripe over them.

“Shane, Shane,” Ryan chants, his hands everywhere: Shane’s hair, his shoulders, his arms, wrapped around Ryan’s thighs. “You gotta-you-please-”

Thankfully, Shane has had training in understanding Ryan’s babbling and, perhaps more thankfully, he has a heart today. He pushes his fingers back deep into Ryan, gives him something to clench around, and sucks Ryan’s clit into his mouth again, hard. Ryan feels his eyes roll into the back of his head, and he’s pretty sure he would faint into the water if it wasn’t for Shane’s ridiculously big hands on his thighs. Ryan’s soaked and he’s not sure if it’s the lake or him.

When Ryan starts breathing hard around whines, Shane lets up on his clit and instead lets Ryan grind against the bridge of his nose, thrusting two fingers into him in a way that has Ryan gasping and pushing back against his hand. “Yeah,” Shane says. “Yeah, give it to me,” and then he curls his fingers against Ryan’s g-spot and Ryan sees stars.

Ryan comes hard and Shane follows him through it, thrusting his fingers hard, following the manic thrust of Ryan’s hips with his tongue fucking everywhere until Ryan comes down from it and pushes Shane’s head away. Shane pulls his fingers out of Ryan and says, through heavy breaths, “see? What did I tell you? I could hold my breath for hours .”

He’s so fucking full of himself but he’s also so gorgeous, red lips and wet face, that Ryan kind of has to pull him into a deep kiss.

They spend the rest of the day lazing around, laying in the grass in the afternoon sun, Ryan curled into Shane’s side, both of them naked as the day they were born, with no fear of people coming to find them and seeing them like this. No one around for miles. The sun on their skin. Ryan is a little loath to admit Shane was right.

He must fall asleep for a while, because he wakes up to Shane tending to a campfire. He has a pair of Ryan’s basketball shorts slung low around his waist and not much else, and Ryan just wants to look at him for a while. Unfortunately, Shane has supersonic Ryan detectors. “Hey,” he greets. He turns to Ryan with a goofy smile. “Steven called.”

Ryan reaches out for Shane and Shane complies, letting Ryan pull him into a grass-centric cuddle. “I thought we were having a technology free weekend,” Ryan says, a lazy hand coming up to rub circles on Shane’s bare hip.

Shane laughs a little scary against Ryan’s skin. Ryan pulls back to look at Shane. “What did you do to Steven Lim?”

“Nothing,” Shane answers, though his smile gives away the fact that he’s a liar. “He asked where you were and I informed him you were sleeping and thoroughly immersed in our weekend long sex trip. To which he spluttered and hung up the phone.”

Ryan laughs and tucks his face into the crook of Shane’s neck. “You’re horrible.”

Shane chuckles softly, his voice syrupy, as he dances his fingers along Ryan’s thigh. “You know,” he starts.

Ryan sighs softly and spreads his legs as Shane rubs his fingertips against Ryan’s opening. “I’m technically a liar.”

Ryan tries to push back on Shane’s fingers but he’s trapped by Shane’s arm holding his hips in place. “Oh yeah?” he says as he decides to relax into the feeling. “Why’s that?”

Shane presses a finger into Ryan and fucks him with it slowly. He leans down to whisper into Ryan’s ear. “We haven’t even had sex yet.”

Ryan spreads his legs to give Shane a better angle. “We haven’t?” he asks, his voice breathy. “Wasn’t it you that ate me out until I thought you were going to drown? I was really afraid that I was going to have to call Steven and be like: ‘sorry, bro. He died eating pussy.’”

Shane laughs at that. “Steven would die too, and then you would be down to one CEO.” He rubs Ryan’s clit slowly and Ryan groans softly. “You know what I mean though, asshole. Penetration. Some good ole P in V.”

Ryan huffs out a laugh. “You are such a fucking cis guy.” Despite himself, he presses into Shane’s touch. “Go for it, man. P in V.”

Shane picks up his efforts then, pressing a second finger in beside his first. He stretches Ryan out on them, listens to the subtle changes in breathing. “You’re fucking beautiful,” Shane says, and then, just to be a dick, he presses another in and starts fucking Ryan in earnest.

Ryan puts a hand on Shane’s arm and can feel the muscles contracting beneath the skin. “Shane,” he says, all breathy. “Shane, you gotta stop, man. I’m gonna come.”

Shane’s smile is kind of loopy when he replies, “yeah, that’s the point.” He crooks his fingers and leans down to whisper in Ryan’s ear. “I wanna watch it happen, baby. Wanna watch you get my fingers soaking wet. Wanna make sure you’re nice and sticky inside so I have somewhere nice to put my dick.”

That’s it for Ryan, he comes clinging onto Shane’s arms, rides it out with his hips pressed to Shane’s hand, sucks Shane’s fingers into him as far as they’ll go. When he’s done, Shane pulls his fingers out just barely, just enough for Ryan to see how sticky he is. “God, what a fucking mess,” Shane says.

Ryan gives him a challenging look. “Why don’t you clean it up?”

Shane, as always, takes the challenge. He ducks his head between Ryan’s legs. He laps up the come there, but refuses to touch Ryan’s clit, which just drives Ryan crazy. He sucks Ryan’s labia hard and Ryan very nearly passes out. “Oh my god,” he gripes, a hand in Shane’s hair. “Please, please fuck me.”

Shane gives one last suck to Ryan’s labia before pulling his head back. His face is fucking soaked and he might just be the most beautiful person Ryan’s ever seen. “Well,” Shane says, a hand on Ryan’s thigh, a little breathy. “Since you asked nicely and all.”

Shane hovers over Ryan with his hands on the floor, like some kind of poor intimation of a sex pushup. He uses one hand to push Ryan’s leg up so that it’s bent next to his chest, and uses this new angle to rub at Ryan’s opening with two of his fingers. Ryan whines at the feeling. “Stop being a tease,” he says, but he can’t quite catch his breath enough to sound angry.

Shane rolls his eyes but lines his cock up with Ryan’s entrance anyway. He pushes in slowly, and despite the fact that they’ve done this more times than Ryan could count to in this lifetime, it still takes his breath away every time. Once Shane is all the way in, pressing gentle kisses to Ryan’s face, Ryan feels so full that he might split in half.

“Shane,” Ryan says. He gets his hands on the nape of Shane’s neck. He’s sweating, which should be gross, but Ryan can’t find it in himself to care. He’s getting fucked in the middle of the woods, is probably gonna find grass in horrible places for weeks to come, and all he can think about is how he wants more .

Shane gives Ryan one shallow thrust that has Ryan crying out and canting his hips up. “You good?” Shane asks.

Ryan resists the urge to roll his eyes. “Yes, Shane, A+ dick game. Please fuck me .”

Shane huffs out a laugh but starts giving it to Ryan in earnest, thrusting hard and fast, filling Ryan up and leaving him empty and filling him up again in a pattern that has Ryan dizzy with it. All he can do is hold on, his fingernails probably leaving indents in Shane’s shoulders, and get lost in the feeling of getting fucked right.

Shane pants over him, right in his ear, which Ryan suspects should probably also be gross but is currently just hot as fuck. “God, you’re so beautiful,” Shane says, because even during sex, he can’t shut up. “So wet for me. So tight. Look at you. You’re fucking glowing, Ryan. You’re ethereal.”

Ryan isn’t sure if he wants more to come or to cry. Shane, however, makes the executive decision for him. He rubs the pad of his thumb over Ryan’s clit in nice circular motions and whispers, right in his ear, “you gonna come for me?”

Ryan nods quickly. “Yes, yes, Shane, man, come on,” he pants senselessly, his nails digging so hard into Shane’s shoulders that Shane actually cringes a little.

That doesn’t stop his attack on Ryan’s clit, though. “Come on,” he breathes into Ryan’s ear, presses a kiss against the skin of his neck. “Come for me, Ryan.”

Shane has some kind of sex superpower that makes Ryan helpless to do anything other than what Shane says. He comes around Shane’s cock like he’s possessed, white light gathered behind his eyes, pussy clenching hard around Shane’s cock, keeping him there, his hands fucking anywhere on Shane’s body that they can reach. Shane rubs him through it, only stops rubbing Ryan’s clit when Ryan pushes his hand away, just on the bad side of oversensitive.

“Fuck,” Shane says, his open-mouthed breathing against Ryan’s neck. He sounds absolutely destroyed and Ryan can relate. He presses a hand to the back of Shane’s head and just cradles him to his body. “Can I-” Shane mutters. His hips thrust forward on their own accord and Ryan gasps. “Can I come inside you, Ryan? Please, please, I have to-”

Ryan cuts him off with an enthusiastic nod. “Yes, please, Shane.”

With permission, Shane thrusts his hips forward fast and deep, like he can’t bear to have his cock any further out of Ryan than absolutely necessary. He must have been holding back for Ryan’s sake, because it only takes a handful of thrusts before Ryan feels his cock throb inside him. Shane gets himself as far in as possible and comes, filling Ryan up so much he can hardly stand it. Ryan doesn’t get to see his face, but he can feel the puffs of hot air against his body, hears the way Shane says “Ry, Ry,” over and over, and that’s a treat in itself.

Shane stays shuddering on top of Ryan for a second, shaking with the sheer force of holding himself up for that long and fucking someone into the grass. Ryan would be kind of proud of if there was any more room in his head for thoughts. As it is, he just holds Shane close, enjoys the feeling of Shane’s cock inside him, keeping his come trapped deep inside Ryan.

Once Shane gets his brain back online, he rolls off of Ryan and lands on the grass with a hard thud . Ryan can feel Shane’s come dripping out of him, which he always finds kind of gross, but makes Shane go blurry-eyed. Shane collects the come that’s dripped out and pushes it back into Ryan, to which Ryan whimpers from oversensitivity.

“Do you want me to clean you out?” Shane whispers into Ryan’s ear, his voice deep and rough, and Ryan’s clit gives a weak jump that honestly kind of hurts.

“My guy, are you trying to kill me?” Ryan asks. He pulls Shane to his chest and kisses the top of his head. He likes being able to do that, horizontally, pretty much the only time he and Shane can be the same height. “Time to nap.”

Shane huffs out a laugh against Ryan’s collarbone. “Is that all you frat boys care about?” he asks. “Beer and naps?”

“And sex,” Ryan adds, already well on his way to sleep. “You made me come, like, three times today, dude. My body is begging for a nap.”

Ryan’s eyes are closed, but he can almost hear Shane’s cocky smirk as he says, “yeah. I’m kind of a god, aren’t I?” Ryan slips into unconsciousness, vaguely aware of Shane pressing a kiss to Ryan’s neck and saying, “I love you, baby.”

Ryan wakes up to a dark forest, Shane nowhere to be found. Ryan’s mind immediately goes to bears again, but when he sits up, he finds Shane tending to a campfire, sweats hanging low against his hips, a t-shirt hanging haphazardly from his shoulders, his glasses sideways and his hair a fucking mess as he digs through the utter shit pile of things Shane packed for their trip.

“Shane,” Ryan says. Shane comically drops a backpack, and Ryan sends up a silent prayer to whatever deity is willing to listen to a bisexual trans man that his boyfriend hasn’t broken anything important. “What the fuck is happening?”

“You’re gonna kill me,” Shane says, which is never a good way to start a sentence. Ryan sits up and Shane tosses him a sweatshirt and some pants. Ryan pulls the pants on and stands to put on the sweatshirt when Shane says, “it’s possible that s’mores are the only form of substance I’ve brought.”

Ryan stops with one arm in his sweatshirt and glares at Shane. “You’re kidding.”

“I wish,” Shane says. Ryan pulls his sweatshirt on finally and sits on the ground near the campfire. Shane rips open bags of graham crackers, marshmallows and chocolate in quick succession and hands them off to Ryan. He has sticks too, somehow, which makes Ryan a little wary of the fact that Shane ‘forgot’ real food. Maybe his midwestern ass thought they could pillage or something.

“Come on,” Shane says, breaking Ryan out of his thoughts. He already has his marshmallow over the fire, and Ryan does the same. “I’m not telling Steven Lim you died naked in the woods from malnutrition.”

With his free hand, Ryan mimes picking up a phone. “Uhhh,” he starts in a pretty bad Shane impression. “So Ryan died.”

Shane mimes being on the other end of the phone and pitches his voice up in an equally bad impression of Steven. “Oh gosh!” he says, which makes Ryan giggle. “Did he at least die peacefully?”

“Nah,” Ryan answers. He gives an exaggerated sigh and adds, “he was naked and really fucking pissed at me.”

“Oh!” Shane fake laments. “I have to go eat some gold to feel better about this!” He sighs.

Ryan laughs again and pushes Shane’s shoulder. “Man, shut the fuck up.”

They put together their s’mores and eat in relative silence. Ryan can’t help stealing glances at Shane’s face as they eat. He looks gorgeous like this, lit up by the fire, chocolate running down his fingertips. Shane catches him staring when they finish eating and gives him a goofy smile. “What?”

“Nothing,” Ryan answers. “Just,” he shrugs. “Thank you for convincing me to do this. It really was fun.”

Shane’s smile gets bigger then, somehow. “You’re welcome.” He reaches over and touches his sticky fingers to Ryan’s. “I told you it would be better than Vegas.”

Ryan breaks into a comically big smile of his own. “Shut up, Shane.”

SUNDAY

Shane pulls up to Ryan’s house around midday and parks outside. “I’m glad you had a good time,” he says. He leans over and connects their lips in a gentle kiss. “I’ll see you on Monday.”

“See you,” Ryan says softly. He gets out and takes the stairs up to his apartment, where Roland is eating cold pizza in some kind of trance. Ryan guesses he probably hasn’t slept since Ryan left on Friday.

Ryan joins him for a slice of pizza, finally, some real food, and gets a few bites in before there’s a knock at his door. “You gonna get that?” he asks Roland. Roland just shrugs, pretty fucking out of it, so Ryan sighs and, with one last bite of his pizza, goes to answer the door.

“What?” he asks, and is surprised when Shane backs him into the room, pushes him against the wall and kisses him senseless.

“I was wrong,” Shane says when he pulls back for air. “I don’t want to see you Monday. I want to see you right now. And tomorrow and the day after and every second of every day.”

From the kitchen table, Roland says, “ew?”

Ryan doesn’t look away from Shane’s eyes. “Shut it, Roland.”

AUTHOR’S NOTE

this fic is a rewrite of a supernatural fic i wrote when i was 16. i wanted to do this cute camping idea some justice and i hope you enjoyed it! it’s a behemoth and also the longest thing i’ve written in two years. i guess i just really like camping.

disclaimer: this fic dealt with a trans character. i myself an nonbinary afab and i used the language i myself would feel comfortable using and i write from my own experiences.

please please consider a reblog if you liked this!! it really helps! i also post bfu/watcher stuff on the reg and aes stuff so if you like that consider a follow? maybe?

thank you so much for reading and for your support.

- is

[rights-for-redshirts]

Okay, this is vaguely insane, but

If someone from our century were transported backwards in time and reborn as some sort of crown prince/ruler, how far and how quickly could they push their country's development?

I just kinda want a story of a high schooler with no particular interest in anything wake up as, I dunno, some sort of medieval King and be so pissed off by everything that they start scratching all the bits of vague technological, sociocultural, economical, political knowledge together that they should have collected in school, and then kind of ... start. From practically scratch. Or worse because of the social restrictions.

So they try to start with electricity and fail, because they don't actually remember how a battery works, and decide to hire - grinding their teeth - some scientist from a university, only to find that that scientist is a charlatane and more interested in alchemy than actual chemistry. So instead, they hire one of their servants - who turns out to be a bit of a prodigy, even if they can't read - and tell them to start working on steam engines, together with a local blacksmith's daughter who can definitely blacksmith but is forbidden to do so bc of her gender.

The new monarch realizes that in order to get anywhere with anything, they need to delegate.

Long story short, the servant/blacksmith duo manage - with a bit of financial aid - to kickstart the industrial revolution, but the monarch remembers enough angry late night tumblr rants about capitalism and low class workers plus a dozen or so internet history lessons (bc history lessons at school are often useless and more about numbers than how the gears of a society grind together) to put their foot down and grant the workers a livable minimum wage - and to make sure the workers and especially worker's children receive an actual education. Both of which prevents a major societal crisis.

Parallel to the whole economy trip is the whole political thing, which they manage to navigate with a bunch of random political/historical facts and anecdotes (they pop up at the beginning of each chapter and seem to be there just for fun, but become suddenly VERY relevant when the right situation arises). Our monarch begins to realize that, in their growing scientifical staff (since the first two are now platonically married and taking over the national market as well as parts of the international one), there is actually more brain to be found than with them, so they begin to write down everything they can remember, from chemistry and artificial fertilizer to physics to maths, in one large (not so large) book and add in a larger (much larger) book all the stuff they know is important but the actual information was completely buried under facts like what a mitochondria is. They slam down the books in front of their scientists (i.e. make sure our farmers can a) provide enough food for themselves, b) get acceptable living conditions, c) can provide enough food for our booming cities, d) get an increased range of mobility through ... trains or something, e) get enough of a decreased workload to be able to send their children to school and f) ... I don't know) and sic them on the different problems.

Then, their Highness turn their attention back to ruling because, . There is a lot of stuff going on in their kingdom, and a lot of it isn't good. They begin to abolish the old system of inequality before the law (nobles are outraged). They write a constitution that includes some of the fundamental human rights. They establish a law system. They keep escaping murder attempts because they grew up on a diet of period dramas, game of thrones and serial killer documentaries.

They reorganize the administration and weed out corruption by making it punishable by ... something, idk.

Universities are next.

They write a book about common sense that they get pope-approved by bribing the cardinals. Subsequently, they realize that they completely forgot about printing books, and promptly follow their book up with the invention of the printing press (how did they forget about that??!)

The social and the educational processes speed up by 500% in the following few years.

The invention progress gets done a lot earlier than in canon history because the monarch a) knows EXACTLY what the scientists and professors and clever kids (that they actively collect) need to be looking for and b) because they remembered not too late into their reign to just ... send people into other civilizations and ask. As easy as that. China had black powder, paper and a lot of other cool stuff. (They finally get to eat rice noodles again a few years into their reign. Hey, being an absolutist ruler has to have some perks. If you can't send a group of diplomats into the far east to retrieve the recipe of your favourite food, then what's the point?)

Also, they had planned to subtly undermine the influence of the catholic church on their people, bit as it turns out, education does a whole lot against superstition. The law for freedom of religion and confession passes almost without a hitch after some dude named Luther nailed a textpost rant of several pages against a church door.

They are several decades into ruling when they realize. They have brought freedom and prosperity and rational thinking and instant noodles (of a sort) to their country. People study arts and science and discuss politics and exchange ideas and knowledge with other cultures. It's the renaissance come early but better because they remembered about the molding bread and the bacteries (the scientists very obviously thought them insane, but eventually managed some decent penicilline; additionally the monarch added their corona-induced knowledge about hygiene and quarantine to the national curriculum).

But they remember some pretty inconvenient stuff: colonialism. They brought freedom to their own people. Now how can they save the free people of the other continents from the europeans? Bc not gonna lie, europe's history is pretty bloody, not only at our own doorstep. (Looking at you, US. ) Anyways they realize that the Native Americans and Australians are pretty happy and actually don't want to change much (at least I think so?? No offense meant if wrong).

The aztec empire, though, is a completely different matter. They are warned of some dude named Cortez, and seem very pleased about the gift of a few dozen horses (or did I misremember how that story went? Cortez being believed a God bc of the horses?).

So is the Chinese one. (They are thoroughly warned against some stuff named opium coming from England, even if that's centuries away.)

They establish diplomatic relations with a badass african queen who is more than willing to trade supplies for more sophisticated technological devices against technological knowledge.

At some point the ruler realizes they didn't age in the last seventy years, so the point of a marriage of convenience for an heir is kinda moot (not that they had remembered anyways). Probably some offhanded remark of a noble. Or seeing the industry duo's adopted children's children.

Also, one of the other nations, maybe india, surprisingly ups their technology game and does everything better than the european country, because I'm tired of western/white supremacy.

Feel free to add/change whatever suits your purposes. If someone ever writes the book, let me know.

[deafmatteo]

top surgery — pre-op prep

This is going to be a very long post where I explain how I went about the process of the surgical assessment, the actual meeting with the surgeon, and preparation. 

Disclaimer: my experiences will not be universal. I am very fortunate to be Canadian and live in a country where the actual surgery is covered and I only need to pay for the stuff outside of the surgery such as medication and travel. additionally, my experience of pre- and post-surgery time at the surgical center was altered quite heavily due to COVID-19. things may be different for your experiences or for your character but here’s a general outline! if you have any questions, don’t be afraid to dm or send an anon!

content warning for below the cut: suicide mention, weight mention, substance use, crash dieting mention, 

i. Surgery Assessment: 

In order to qualify for an assessment with the surgeon, you need to have one taken by a different doctor. In my case, there was only one who was able to do the assessment and she worked in an office in a town adjacent to mine. The actual assessment took roughly two hours (spaced over multiple appointments) and it was filled with questions asking my relationship with my gender identity, expectations from the surgery, my personal and familial health history, my transition beyond top surgery—if i have socially come out, if i have begun my medical transition, etc—and the stability of my mental health. Because I was in the process of trying to get medication for my mental health, this was a potential red flag that could have caused me to fail my assessment but because I have not, to the assessor’s knowledge, considered suicide or even thought of it, I was cleared. 

Once I passed my assessment, it was then passed onto the waiting list for the surgeons in my province. I had opted for the general waitlist to get the surgeon who had the shortlist but you are given the option to select surgeons but there is a requirement for certain surgeons. Some will not operate on tobacco smokers, some will not operate on fat people with a high BMI(35+), some will not operate on tobacco and marijuana smokers, but there also some who will operate on all of the above. It personally depends on the surgeon and what they’re comfortable with. Within two months of the assessment, I got a call back from the surgeon’s office and from there, I made my surgical appointment where I would discuss things with the surgeon! 

ii. Surgeon Appointment:

this was done at the surgeon’s office which was again, not local to me. it was very quick and i mean. very quick. the surgeon asked about my expectations from top surgery and what i hoped would come from it and things about my dysphoria and my post-operative care plans. you should have your plan all figured out by this point! they need to know that you will be well cared for! he then took off my hospital gown and took a look at my chest before determining what kind of surgery would be best. I was relatively smalle in terms of pre-op chests but do to the way that my chest had formed because of binding unsafely for over half a decade, i was told that Double Incision was the best & safest option. then i got the option of if i want to keep my nipples or not — i opted for yes. 

with that all figured out, i was given an initial date & time for surgery and that was that! (for myself, my date got changed multiple times because of covid-19 but if it wasn’t for the virus, it would have stayed true to the selected day).

iii. Waiting Game:

okay! now you’ve got all your appointments in order and you’re just waiting for them to get snipped off. now what?

one. research post-operative care! i have researched for many, many years on top surgery but i still researched more constantly. this surgery is a big deal and you don’t want to do anything wrong that could cause further harm to yourself! look at different resources, watch different youtube videos, etc. there’s a lot of information out there that could help ease your post-op anxieties. 

two. get prepared with the stuff you need. the surgeon beforehand will give you some things that they will want you to have before surgery but don’t be afraid to purchase additional things! here’s a list of some of the things i purchased beforehand. 

 PILLOWS. my pillows were shit, flat out. they had no proper support & they just hurt to use so they often were just tossed to the sit for my cat to use. i bought two that provide good support and comfort and genuinely never felt better. this is because you cannot lay on your side or stomach for up to 4 weeks after the surgery and i, personally, am versatile and will sleep any which way. the pillows are to help you stay comfortable and propped up whilst laying in bed or sleeping. 

MEDICINE. get the strongest dose of Tylenol & Advil you can because this will be your pain medication afterwards. (the surgeon will provide over-the-counter ones as well but, if they’re like my surgeon, they’ll ask you to avoid it as much as you can). these will be your life-savers, trust me. 

SUPPLEMENTS. this one i haven’t seen around too much but for me, it was a better safe than sorry option. i already have to take iron supplements for my anemia so i purchased some zinc ones as well! zinc supplements help with immunity and scar healing which is always a good thing to take after a major surgery. the iron can help because your body may lose blood during surgery but it’s not one that i’ve seen people recommend. DO NOT GO OVERBOARD! you know your immune system and how well it will handle injuries. i have had a previous surgery done and due to my weakened immune system, it took me a lot longer to recover than initially anticipated. that’s why i’m going for the zinc supplements. most people don’t! personal preference.

SIX-FOOT CHARGER. life-saver. you can’t do that awkward extend-your-arms as you attempt to charge your phone before rolling over and finally getting comfortable. get one of those chargers that you can comfortable sit in your bed and use because even if you’re not in surgery, better comfort. what’s the worst that could happen?

DRY SHAMPOO & WIPES. for the first week, you CANNOT shower. stinky. be courteous to those with you and don’t be a stinky stinker. you can sit in the tub from the waist down but you cannot get your post-operative binder wet which leaves your entire torso, your armpits, neck, and face that do not see the godliness of the bathtub for a week. the wipes will help wipe away any grunginess and the dry shampoo will prevent your hair from becoming disgusting and oily. trust me. you’re doing yourself-and everyone around you-a favour.

there are additional things that other people tend to buy and like i said, it’s all up to personal preference. if you think it would help you, do it! there’s no harm than can be done by buying something you think would help but you end up not using rather than needing something but not having access to it. trust me, you deserve the utmost care and attention that you can give yourself during this time. 

IMPORTANT!!

do not crash diet. this is when you basically attempt to do any of those fasting diets that basically deprives your body of the nutrients it needs. buddy, you’re about to have a massive surgery. you’re doing more harm than good to your body and you deserve better. and trust me, i tried. and as a person in recovery for an E.D., it is the most slippery slope you can take. your body needs the nutrients to help you heal.

exercise! (not excessively). it makes it easier for the surgeons to work around your chest and can also help with its masculinization. for about a month before the surgery, i would go on a run at least every other day as well as some HIIT exercises. i do genuinely believe that it has helped me in some way in regards to healing but it could very well be me trying to justify the exercise.

LISTEN TO THE SURGEON. seriously. no amount of text-posts, no amount of youtube videos will ever overpower the advice your surgeon will give you. please, just listen to them. they’re the ones performing the surgery so they know what is best for you.

[bigboldblog]

The Getaway - Chapter 3

Click here to see all chapters posted so far.

---

A fortnight had passed, and Scott was now driving with Matt and Lisa to the airport. Lisa sat in the backseat while Matt sat in the front, with their three suitcases shoved in the boot of the car. It was a two-hour drive to the airport, so they all decided to leave early in the morning. As Scott merged onto the motorway, Matt realised that Scott had not passed his test yet.

“Scott, didn’t you fail your driving test?” Matt asked suddenly.

Before Scott could answer, Lisa interjected, “You shouldn’t be driving, Scott! Pull over!”

“Oh, calm down,” Scott said. “I’ll try not to crash.”

Scott chuckled as Matt held onto the handle above the passenger window. As Scott edged closer to the car in front, Matt started to panic. “Don’t go so close, Scott!”

Scott ignored him and overtook the car, narrowly missing it as he passed. He put his foot down on the gas and the car zoomed down the road, passing cars at speed.

“Scott, slow down!” Lisa cried.

“Will you two calm down? I know how to drive.” Scott replied, letting his foot off the gas.

After driving for a few more miles, Scott looked up at the mirror, noticing Lisa sulking with her head faced down. “Are you alright, Lis?”

She looked up and said monotonously, “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Are you still thinking about that letter you had?”

“No, I don’t care about that stupid competition anymore.”

There was a silence as Scott glanced again at Lisa – he could sense that she was upset and thought of a way to cheer her up. He then noticed that Matt’s seatbelt was pulling his T-shirt up, causing his stomach to peek through, highlighting his recent weight gain.

“Hey,” Scott smiled, pinching Matt’s stomach. “Looks like you’re going to need a bigger top!”

“Get off, Scott!” Matt shouted, pushing Scott’s arm.

The car swerved into the hard shoulder, as Scott regained control of the wheel.

“Boys, stop it!” Lisa yelled, causing the two to fall silent.

Shortly after, they arrived at the airport as Scott skidded his car round the roundabout and into the car park. He quickly turned into a space and parked millimetres away from the bumper of another car. As he switched the engine off, he shortly followed the others to get their suitcases out from the car boot.

They walked up to the entrance of the terminal as Matt looked around, saying, “This place is huge.”

“Like you,” Scott murmured, smirking to himself.

But Matt didn’t hear what he said. “What?”

Lisa looked at Scott sternly, and he kept quiet.

As they entered the airport, they decided to go straight through security as they had arrived later than planned. They could see that most of the shops, including the duty-free, were on the other side as they all prepared to go through.

As they waited for their suitcases to be checked, the security man removed Matt’s suitcase to open it. He had forgotten to take his laptop out of the suitcase and put it onto a separate tray.

Matt notified the security man that this suitcase belonged to him. The security man asked him to place the items in his suitcase into separate trays, leaving Matt embarrassed to have others looking over at him. Once the items went through a second time, everything was fine, and Matt was left to put all his items back in his suitcase.

Scott and Lisa went over to him as he quickly placed the items back into his suitcase. Lisa asked him, “Do you need any help?”

“No, I’ve got it,” Matt replied, bluntly.

“How have you got so much stuff?” Scott said, noticing a small box in one of the trays. He picked it up and realised they were fat loss pills. His eyes widened as he showed the box to Matt. “Why have you got these, Matt?”

“Give me those!” he yelled.

“Mate,” Scott said gently. “You shouldn’t need to be taking these.”

Matt zipped up his suitcase and walked away from them, saying, “Just forget about it.”

Scott and Lisa exchanged concerned looks as they began to follow Matt through to duty-free.

 As they had plenty of time to waste before their flight, they decided to get something to eat at one of the cafés. On their way over, Scott went into a clothes shop, followed by Lisa, as Matt went to the toilet.

“Look, they sell Groover clothes!” Scott said to Lisa, picking up a T-shirt from the racks.

“What clothes?”

“You haven’t heard of Groover? They make the coolest T-shirts ever!”

“Can we go to the café now? Matt said he’ll meet us there.”

“Yeah, I know. I’ll just look around for a minute.”

Lisa groaned and sat down on a stool near Scott, as he continued to look through the racks of clothes. He noticed Lisa’s boredom and said, “I thought you loved shopping.”

“Yeah, but not for men’s clothes…”

“Oh, look!” Scott interrupted, taking out a T-shirt from the clothes rack. “It’s even got rolled-up sleeves and everything.”

“Can’t you roll up the sleeves on any T-shirt?”

“Well, yeah… but this one’s done for you. I’ll try it on.” Then, Scott went into the changing rooms with excitement.

Matt appeared shortly after, noticing Lisa. “Oh, there you are. What are you doing in here?”

“Scott’s trying on a T-shirt.”

Scott walked out of the changing rooms with his rolled-up T-shirt. As the sleeves were very short, almost the full length of his arms was visible, highlighting the tone in his biceps. His stomach, however, was much more noticeable, tightened by the T-shirt that was a few inches away from being too short.

“So, what do you think? Does it make my arms look bigger?” Scott asked the others, tensing his biceps. As he did, his small, yet growing bulge peeked through.

As Scott pulled the T-shirt down, sucking in his stomach, Matt commented, “Well, it looks a bit tight, doesn’t it?”

“That’s the idea. It makes me look toned.”

“Well, don’t snap at me or anything, but what if you put on… a few pounds?” Lisa said carefully.

“I’m not going to get fat, Lis,” Scott said sternly.

Matt exchanged looks with Scott, and Scott looked down at his stomach. Then Matt said to him, softly, “Maybe you should get the ‘large.’”

“I’m not large. I’m medium. This is fine, I’m going to buy it.”

 After changing back into his other top and buying the T-shirt, the three of them continued to look around for a good place to eat.

“How about this place?” Scott said to the others as they stopped outside a café. The café was small, but it had enough seats available towards the back and there weren’t many people currently being served. Matt and Lisa agreed to eat here, so they approached the counter.

They looked through the choice of food and when they all decided, Matt started by ordering his. He spoke to the woman at the till: “Could I have a triple-chocolate muffin… a slice of Victoria sponge… and two slices of shortbread, please? Oh, and a coke, as well.”

Scott whispered to him, “I said I didn’t want the Victoria sponge.”

“I know… that’s for me.”

“You’re going to eat all that?”

“Yeah…” Matt said, looking oddly at Scott.

Then, Scott ordered a sandwich and an orange juice, followed by Lisa who took a piece of carrot tea and a cup of tea.

After the woman at the counter had collected their orders, Scott, Matt and Lisa carried the trays with their food towards an empty table. Once they were seated, Matt started to eat his Victoria sponge with no hesitation.

Scott looked at the wide selection of food in front of Matt, shaking his head. “How much do you need to eat, Matt?” Matt looked up for a moment while eating his cake. “Seriously, if you want to lose weight, you’re going to have to cut down on a few things.”

“I think Scott’s right, Matt,” Lisa said in a concerned voice. “Give Scott your chocolate muffin.”

“What? No. I want it.” Matt said with raised eyebrows.

Lisa snatched the muffin from Matt’s tray and placed it on Scott’s. Before he could object, Scott said, “No, I don’t want it. I’m on a diet.”

“Scott, just eat the muffin,” Lisa said, starting to lose her patience.

“Why don’t you eat it, then?”

“I don’t like them.”

Scott groaned as he took a bite of the muffin. His face lit up. With a mouth full of cake, he said, “Oh wow! This tastes amazing!”

“You don’t have to rub it in, Scott,” Matt said enviously.

“Scott, don’t be mean,” Lisa said.

“I’m not… this tastes really good.” Scott mumbled with food still in his mouth. “I might actually get another one of these.”

“What about your diet?” Matt said.

“One more won’t hurt.” He looked over at the counter. “Or two…”

 After Scott had eaten three muffins and Matt and Lisa finished their meals, Scott lifted his shirt and rubbed his softening stomach. “Maybe I shouldn’t have had three.” He then pulled his shirt back down and attempted to hold in his gut.

As they left the café, Scott wiped the crumbs from his mouth and said, “That was the best thing I’ve ever eaten in a while.” He patted his stomach. “Anyway, back to building up these abs!”

“Why don’t you give whatever diet you’re on a rest for a bit?” Matt said.

“Give it a rest?! You’ve got to learn about resistance, Matt. You can’t always eat what you want… like that muffin.”

“Well, you clearly wanted it.”

“Yeah, but that’s different. I don’t need to lose as much weight as you.”

---

Does Scott keep on eating?

Click here to see all chapters posted so far.

[throtegote]

Yung Waitloz (2012 me’s rapper name)

(If you’d like to read this off my wix blog here’s the link: https://erikatriesall.wixsite.com/tlhodia)

If you get triggered by topics concerning body image and weight loss then proceed with caution or don’t proceed at all.

I probably discuss way too much personal stuff online, but hey, who doesn’t appreciate a little oversharing every once in a while?

I have never been skinny or slim, let’s start there. Sure, I was a tiny baby, but that was about it. I have always been bigger than a lot of my classmates and even now I’m in no way built like a Victoria’s Secret model. Also, keep in mind that I’ve never been clinically obese or severely overweight. Got it? Cool.

Enter My Mom. She has been on my case to lose weight for as long as I remember. I admit, there were times when I was particularly chonky, but that’s beside the point. I remember being 8-9 years old when she spent over 15 minutes ridiculing and calling me out on how my spandex gym tights made noises as my thighs rubbed together during our uphill walk around the residential estate. She was also and still is, fond of pinching my “love-handles” (in quotes because if I remember “You can’t even call them love handles because you have nobody loving you.”),  with her long-ass, sharp nails whenever they appeared over the waistband of my pants.

(I’m not bitter or anything)

Essentially, 8-year-old me was told to lose weight enough times to try. I ate the food they gave me, and only what they gave me, and went on walks occasionally with My Mom (which I despised because I really didn’t leave the comfort of my room to be berated by my birth giver). I even started taking netball more seriously and started athletics training. What I also started doing was paying close attention to the bodies of girls around me and playing spot the difference. Not too long afterwards I learned to hate clothes shopping and hide in group photos. When I look through photo albums and my parent’s phone galleries now, it’s plain to see that I was an Olympic grade camera dodger.

Fast forward a few years. Now I’m 11-12 years old. I’ve grown taller and older, so my weight distribution has changed, but I’m still not skinny. My Mom is still on me to lose weight, even more so now that I’m older and maturing into “womanhood” because apparently, it is a crime to wear pants only a few sizes smaller than your mother of similar body structure and lesser height. Now that I’m older and more educated, I’ve realized that even though I was playing a sport and jogging and going for aerobics with my mom occasionally, I won’t get skinny unless I change my diet. In fact, there was a time when some government nurses came to do regional health checks at school and some data included body weight (there was a crowd around me when it was my turn to hop on the scale. The boys laughed, I went to the bathroom and cried. But it’s all good). The nurses then asked me questions about stuff like the bread we had at home, if I ate junk food or added sugar, stuff like that. That’s when it clicked. It clicked real hard.

A typical school lunch packed by My Mom comprised a hotdog/ham sandwich/homemade burger, a packet of chips/crisps and a juice box or Tropica when she was feeling generous. Which is what my brothers and a lot of my friends were packing to school with no problems: but I’m not built like those people so I can’t eat like them, right? The lunch had to go. And go it did. And so did pretty much all my other regular meals.

If My Mom was distracted with getting ready for work, I’d ditch breakfast and lie about it, then hop onto the school bus. Getting rid of the stuff in my lunchbox wasn’t too difficult to do because I had friends who were happy to help. This meant that for the first 12 hours of the day all I had was a juice box or nothing at all. It worked. My Mom noticed and complimented my improved physique along with a handful of relatives. But was I skinny? Not even.

Then came the Google searches. “How to lose weight quickly” “How to get skinny” “How to get a thigh gap” “How to lose thigh fat fast” Just to name a few.

That’s when I discovered the infamous pro-anorexia community. Or should I say that’s when they found me? I’m not too sure.

Over the school holidays, I started with the so-called “K-pop” diets and did YouTube workouts every night with more consistency than my prayer life. Two boiled eggs for breakfast, some milk for lunch (which was disastrous because apparently, I’m lactose intolerant), and for dinner… water, with or without lemon or tea. It really depended on the day. Not that hard to get away with, really. When the fat girl says they’re not hungry, who are you to force them?

But I couldn’t lose weight fast enough. Sure, slowly killing myself was working, but was I skinny? Nah.

So, I turned to “thinspo” and “pretty girl diet” challenges and "pro-ana" coaches to guide me. (If you're somebody who thinks it's okay to coax children into dangerous eating disorders and potentially death, you deserve a chair. But make it electric. Periodt.) My stomach was flattening, and my pants came on a lot easier, but the truth was I was utterly miserable. Getting skinny was all I thought about. And I’m not talking about Victoria’s Secret model skinny, I got to a point where I was jealous of the science lab skeleton, no jokes. Food wasn’t food anymore; it was just numbers and macros. I was always dizzy and cranky and my hair was falling out and even though I had done it for long enough to overcome the hunger pangs, there was a new pain, one that manifested in my chest and couldn’t be treated with sleep or Panado. I was the only one on holiday for three months, so nobody noticed.

I was twelve when I first tried to off myself with prescription drugs. All because I couldn’t be skinny and in my head that meant I couldn’t be pretty, or loved, or befriended. I woke up after a 8-hour “nap” to find that nothing had changed.

Why am I exposing myself by telling this story?

If you’re a parent or sibling or anyone who cares for a child who you think needs to lose weight for whatever reason (hopefully for health-related reasons, not purely aesthetics), please do not leave them to their own devices. They will search for authoritative guidance elsewhere, and the wrong people may find them. People who prescribe oxygen as a meal plan and perpetuate the notion that if you can pinch at your flesh, then you are ugly and will remain ugly until you are feather-light. Despite being one of the smartest kids in my grade, I still fell for it. (Update: I’m still not skinny. I probably only fucked up my metabolism and lost hair. -100/10, would not recommend to my worst enemy.)

Good news is at some point I got sick and tired of feeling the way I did. My suicide attempt failed miserably but instead of trying again, I uninstalled all my calorie counter and fitness apps, tossed all my magazines in the trash and talked to my mom and made it a point to talk to friends more, especially those who understood in some way or another. The Body Positivity movement was rising, and that helped a lot. Big ups to all the lovely people on YouTube who post videos on #recovery.

But experiences like this don’t just go away. You don’t forget and move on. I still have relapses, I still feel insurmountable guilt after eating, I still feel like I would rather eat baked rat than gain weight, I still go through binge-restrict cycles. All stemming from events that happened over 8 years ago.

My Mom had some level of good intention, I won't disregard that. People on her side of the family suffer from chronic illnesses that can all be prevented if not managed better through proper diet and exercise and she doesn't want her kids developing high blood pressure at age 13. Fine, I get it. But damn.

If you can avoid doing this to yourself or someone impressionable in your life, please do. Model healthy behaviours for your kids to adopt and talk health; not snatched waistlines, not thigh gaps nor scale readings. Teach your kids not to base the entirety of their worth on their appearance. And do not, under any circumstances, body shame them.

Please?

Once again, a lot of what is here is based on personal experience and opinion (‘coz it’s my blog, duh’). If you have separate ideas or any disagreements, bring them up in the comments or email me. I love a good debate.

Also, if you currently relate to anything mentioned in this post, take this as your sign to get better. Trust me, you're worth it.

xoxo

Erika

[bonebreakjack]

What’s a little sickness between family? Chapter 1

Yusaku overworks himself trying to find his wayward family, and it may just send everyone down a different path then intended...

Yusaku groaned, his body ached from the illness that infected him. How could he have let this happen? He took his medications on time, and sure his diet wasn’t the best but he survived this long on it anyway!

(Never mind the fact he had been spending all his waking hours finding Ai and Roboppy, even forgoing days of sleep and sometimes food in case he missed his chance.)  

Rolling over he tried to get comfortable, withholding a whimper as skin prickled like it was drenched in an icy lake. He tried to call for Roboppy only to cut himself off with a curse.

There’s no one else to call out for in this empty house, only him.

He tried not to think about how he had spent days on end looking for them after they announced they were going to end humanity. Or how strange it was to see them with bodies of strangers. and still look so familiar. How he ached to hear them speak because he wished it was towards him, instead of at them.

Yusaku never realized how empty this little apartment would feel without them. He knew Ai would eventually leave, he had his own home to go to, his own family. But then it was ravaged to the ground and they lost the Ignis.

Roboppy had left too, Yusaku felt that was equally a failure on his part for not being able to provide a home worth staying in. He couldn't save the Ignis, wasn't able to stop Lightning. Couldn’t express how he feels, and stop being so damaged to show he cared about them.

Why would they stay when Yusaku can't even do that?

Coughing violently into his blanket he tried not to whine from feeling as if he was tasting blood. His throat rough and raw from what he was he starting to suspect is an infection.

Feeling the haziness of sleep, he allowed sweet darkness to take him.

-

Fingers were threading through his hair gently and softly, as if he were fragile, whoever it was, they were softly whispering with someone else. Feeling the large male hand, he assumed it was Kusanagi having gone to check on him.

He leaned into the touch causing Kusanagi to flinch. He isn't surprised. He isn’t used to Yusaku showing or wanting affection, but his battered immune system also lowered his brains ability to function. He cant- he cant pretend he's as okay as he tries to be.

Yusaku didn't want to be alone right now.

He will just use the excuse that he's sick and wasn't in the right mind as he crawled into Kusanagi’s lap. The petting stopped for a bit but resumed much more sure and firm.

If Kusanagi is here, Takeru must be too. He noticed they had been in communication more often after Flame died. Yusaku cursed many times he felt too broken to help his friend grieve. He tried but it felt awkward, forced. Like he was acting instead of grieving with him.

A second hand came to rest on his forehead, and he wishes he had the strength to open his eyes. To at least reassure them he was going to be fine.

He wondered why Kusanangi wasn’t with Jin right now though, wasn’t it the middle of the day? This was his usual time to visit his brother. And Takeru would be in the Dojo learning to fight.

Why are they suddenly here? How did they know?

Whatever happened he was at least happy they had came. He wasn’t comfortable expressing his emotions even after all that has happened. But being remembered despite being left behind so often left him feeling warm.

Playmaker may be number 1 when it comes to duels….but Yusaku Fujiki always came second to the people in his life. To Ryoken, Kusanagi, even to Ai and Roboppy. Their lives and goals were more important than him.

He sounded bitter.

Right now he had no shame and lets them take care of him, maybe he can pretend he was first for somebody for once.

-

Ai didn’t stop when Yusaku drifted off into sleep again, content with just being the young man’s pillow, a source of comfort. The latex of the SOLtiS fingers was soft enough to pass for human skin, no wonder his Origin hadn’t woken up in a fuss and kicked his teeth in.

….Or could be the infection ravaging his body, and Yusaku being how he was, just clung to the nearest source of warmth like a leech. Nevermind anyone could have broken in with how carelessly he left the doors unlocked.

(Not that he had anything worth stealing, not much an orphan with no job could afford really )

In the background Ai could hear Roboppy berating Yusaku as they cleaned the little apartment, fussy like a hen. It brought back fond memories of when they used to live together as they would throw a fit when Yusaku got this way.

Only this was worse, cause Roboppy hadn’t been here to clean after him and alert any of his friends that he was ill. Cause Ai wasn’t here to tell him to stop being stubborn and allowed himself to be cared for.

Ai left him alone without a second glance back….

While back in the ruins of his home, Ai contemplated what he was going to do. Having survived while the others hadn't, hit him hard, and Ai wasn’t sure if he even wanted to keep processing . He kept trying to talk to Ghosts, do their jobs, try and carry on…

And he would have failed at it all, if not for Roboppy.

Roboppy became an unexpected saving grace, something he cherished already as his precious minion. Now they were a genuine friend helping him with his plans, Ai was wary at first but they tended to follow him without a second thought to much else.

Except.

Roboppy wasn’t always his minion, and they had a longer history with Yusaku then Ai was sure they would ever have with him. They would become melancholy when mentions of Yusaku or Playmaker came over the net. Getting looks of nostalgia and worry that even made Ai pause.

They couldn’t afford that weakness though. Yusaku would be without a doubt against them, is what he told Roboppy. He would never accept what they were doing and become their enemy.

Only that hadn’t happened.

Yusaku took himself out of the fight completely , instead devoting his time to trying to find them. It threw Ai off, he was so sure Yusaku would try to physically ‘knock sense’ into them. Or at least try and push them off their goals.

There wasn’t even an attempt.

And Ai isn’t sure what to do with that knowledge.

Parts curiosity and apprehension filled him as he and Roboppy used their SOLtiS bodies to scope out what he was doing. To figure out what his new goal was.

Only to find him as he is now, fever ridden, uncared for, and alone.

Where was Kusanagi? Surely he had enough time to at least call. Or Takeru? Doesn’t he make a point to barge into Yusaku’s life every chance he got? Why haven’t they come to see him?

Why is Yusaku alone?! Ai was so assured that because he had friends now that he could just leave him. He wouldn’t be alone, maybe even move out of this place into one of theirs?

He was an idiot, and so was Yusaku, the stubborn bastard probably never let it cross his mind to reach out to his friends. 

His big dumb idiot.

He left him all alone. 

“Roboppy...get his stuff, we’re leaving”Ai felt so assured for this, if Yusaku is going to be stubborn and his friends are going to neglect him. 

He may as well just take him, he’s free game now after all. 

Finders keepers~ 

Roboppy let out a whoop before freezing. “Where are we going to take him? We don’t have a physical place in the real world yet?” That didn’t stop his precious minion from collecting Yusaku’s stuff anyway with the diligence and care they had while still a maid bot. 

“I have a place in mind, temporary until we get a better one” 

Ai tried not to frown at how quickly Roboppy got everything together, letting himself believe it was simply their speed and not because Yusaku barely had anything they couldn’t carry. 

“Done~ Let’s go home!”Roboppy was practically floating as off all the melancholy had turned to vapor, they dotted over the sleeping teenager with a softness and joy. Ai carefully wrapped him  up in the thick blanket and carried him out of the gloomy house. They were going safe house he had gotten when he first realized he needed a place to store these bodies to charge. 

“Yes Roboppy let’s go home”

-

Takeru sighed heavily as he tried to calling Yusaku’s phone again, he hadn’t been picking up all day or yesterday. He knew that learning Ai and Roboppy were trying to destroy humanity hit him hard, hard enough to make him temporarily retire and devote it to trying to find them instead. 

He wouldn’t listen to sense, won’t take breaks at all. Takeru was at his wits end, if Yusaku wasn’t going to take care of himself he was just going to drag him out of his house and do it himself. 

Losing Flame hit him so hard but he tries to live a life that he would be proud of. It hurt, it felt like a gaping wound in his chest, never to recover. He lost his friend and a piece of himself. 

He believes they would meet again though. His grandfather was a strong believer in people's fates being tied together. And that if a bond was strong enough they could overcome even death and meet once again in another life. 

Takeru hopes he will meet Flame again, maybe not in this lifetime but another one. Free from the incident, free from Hanoi, free from Lightning. 

Maybe they could even be brothers… 

Takeru believes his fate had bounded with the other Lost children, but mostly with Yusaku. He clicked with him in a way he hadn’t been able to with anyone before, and Kiku, bless her, tried her best but it wasn’t what he needed. 

He needed someone like him, someone who knew his pain but had a goal in their life that kept pushing them forward. A passion to keep on living and face the future. 

That person was Yusaku and he thanked the stars that he got to meet him. 

But he became distant after Ai and Roboppy. A manic determination overcame him in a way that Kusanagi said reminded him of when he was searching for Hanoi. 

Takeru was scared for his friend. 

That fear kept rising as he refused to pick up his phone!

He had been busy the last three weeks making arrangements to stay longer and maybe finish school out in Den city, spend time with the friends he made here. Coincidentally enough that happened at the same time as the announcement. He tried to help when he could but he had to make sure he wouldn’t get kicked out of his apartment. 

And with this growing fear building in his heart….it may have cost him something to do it. 

Giving up Takeru dialed another number. 

“Kusanagi-san? Sorry to bother you but have you heard from Yusaku?”

-

Shouichi felt his stomach drop through the ground as he listened to Takeru, his brother leaning on his shoulder with a concerned look on his face.  The young man on the phone had called beforehand asking about if Yusaku called him these past few days or vise versa.

He told him no.

Shouichi knew how Yusaku got when he set himself on a new goal, it made him manic, obsessed. It was better to let him work through the initial burst and then heavily regulate him afterwards.

Only he hadn’t expected this to have lasted for weeks.

Takeru tried but Yusaku  wouldn’t budge on this, he claimed he was eating well and taking breaks(Read:Bullshit). That he could look after himself and had done so before. But now Takeru keeps calling and he won’t pick up at all.

Why the hell did they listen to him?

After Takeru assured him he would call after he went to check on Yusaku, Shouichi started to call him too. His brother had looked at him wary and scared with the frantic way he kept calling and recalling.

No answer.

Just as he was in the middle of his 13th call, her got another call coming to his phone. It was Takeru who was at Yusaku’s apartment building but he doesn’t know where the spare key is.

Getting the boy inside the apartment he and Jin had waited on held breath, their worry increasing.

“HE’S NOT HERE!”

Calm. Stay calm.

“He probably went out to get something to eat.”

Calm, logical.

“None of his stuff is here, Kusanagi! Everything was taken and cleaned…. except his phone ”

No.

No, please no.

NONONONONONONO-

“Big Brother, Did somebody take Fujiki?”Jin asked in a quiet scared voice, one that suggested that he wanted to run under a table and hide in case it was Lightning come back from the dead. As well as a silent fury to claw out the eyes of whoever took the person who helped him.

“I….”

Shouichi didn’t know what to say, he didn’t want to jump the gun and say yes. But what other explanation could there be? That Yusaku just up and left? Where would he go with no money? Why would he go at all, when his friends were here in the city?

Even if he became distant he would never just leave. Where else, who else could he even turn to-

He felt his blood freeze, Takeru was still talking to him, so was Jin. But it didn't matter because something clicked into his head. It made too much sense but with how Yusaku was he didn’t think-he wouldn’t!

But the possibility was too strong, he couldn't just throw it away, not when they have to find him asap.

Ai and Roboppy.

Yusaku was damn near devastated when he learned of their plans, of learning that they were turning their back on humanity, on him. It-It was another betrayal, one that shook him so much he spent weeks trying to find them and not taking care of himself.

Would...would Yusaku leave them for the duo? Would he turn on humanity too just to have them back in his life?

Thinking logically, they are his only real family left. He had Roboppy since he was a child, and Ai is literally a part of him.

He looks at Jin who stopped talking and was looking at him pleadingly.

He knows he himself already done that for Jin….to the point where he was told to  exchange Yusaku’s life for him.

(He still regrets his actions, not his choices but his actions.)

(It doesn't take a genius to know what kind of message he sent to Yusaku that day)

Are they Yusaku’s Jin? Would he throw humanity under a bus to be with them?

Shouichi isn’t even sure he would blame Yusaku if he did.

There is also the other possibility, the duo may have just taken him. He wouldn’t put it past them to be honest, if there was a human they would ever want to spare, Yusaku was it.

Or worse, he could be the next sacrifice to show how far they were willing to go, to forego and kill their only human family. To show they weren’t messing around.

Somehow that makes it even worse, because they took him right under their noses. That made Shouichi mad enough to want to punch a wall, for being stupid, for not checking on Yusaku sooner!

“Takeru” He cut off the boy in mid rant about what he would do to whoever took Yusaku. Which was frankly creative and just a tiny bit disturbing, though considering he used to be a delinquent he was sure  Takeru was used to being creative.

He didn’t even know how Takeru knew half the things he said he could do with a baseball bat.

“We need to call the team, but most importantly Ryoken. They’re our best chance at finding Yusaku….as well as Ai and Roboppy” Shouichi felt firm again. He had a goal and now he had to see it through.

They were going to find the three of them, come Hell or High Water. Nothing was going to stop them from getting Yusaku back.

Shouichi tries not to think too hard on the possibilities of only finding his body, or him as their enemy. Remembering back to what Lightning did to Jin.....

Ai wouldn't do that to Yusaku......

Would he?

[fuckingconversations]

I'm sorry if you've been asked this before, but your ADHD post really hit home with me. Does it ever get better? I've felt like that all my life, and I'm starting a course, not the first I've tried and bailed out of due to losing interest, and I'm..Scared, you know? I feel like half a person, or I'm acting with a limiter on my brain. Does anything help?

- @amondrask

Does it get better? – Not on its own. Left alone, ADHD tends to aim itself head-first into a garbage can or depression, anxiety, and losing hope. However! YOU can get better! There IS hope! Don’t give up!

When I wrote that post – about feeling like a liminal space, walking through the world like I was a ghost, constantly forgetting and fogging out and losing my place in the world, feeling half-dissociated from losing so much time – that was my “normal” for a long while.

It’s not my normal now.

Nowadays, two years later, there’s still a little bit of fog. A little bit of forgetting. But day to day? It’s totally different. I made a ton of little changes, failed at a lot of ‘attempted habits’ and picked up others through repetition and reminders and not giving up.

So? What helps?

For me, most of it came from a place of forgiveness. Whenever I tried to get a new habit, and missed a day, or failed a step, or dropped the ball, just… forgive it. Whoops, that happened, let’s pick it up again and keep trying. Like dropping a grape when you’re making a fruit salad – don’t give up on the whole damn fruit salad, don’t weep and gnash your teeth and linger in self-disgust until everything is rotting around you - just accept that the grape is on the floor, and either wash it off and eat it, or toss it in the trash and attend the rest of the fruit.

Mentally, ‘Forgiveness’ is where you’ve got to dial in your brain. You’re basically teaching an old dog new tricks, so you’ve gotta be ok with the dog sometimes getting bored and walking away. Give it a pat and try teaching it again in a few hours, or tomorrow. It’s ok.

Actual Habits that help me:

EXERCISE! – Probably the most common thing people suggest and then you roll your eyes at, but holy shit people suggest it for a DAMN good reason. Tbh Pokemon Go helped this discovery, and then Podcasts helped it even more. I go for a walk a couple times a week, listening to podcasts or catching the ‘mons. It’s usually about a half-hour – not a lot of time compared to the day, but loads of time for your body. Getting your heart moving, getting good chemicals flooding your brain, it helps with maintaining focus, getting started on stuff, and just feeling good about yourself.

DIET! – Junk food is great. However, it’s AWFUL at keeping your brain functioning at top potential. I’d recommend doing your own research on good ADHD diets, but I personally found a lot of good in limiting carbs, and focusing my diet on meats and vegetables. (Plus cooking for myself means an easier time keeping to a budget)

SMALL CHANGES! – Big changes just never ‘stuck’ for me. I’d forget. Small decisions, made independently, obeyed for a week or two before adding another change – those build up and become big changes. For instance:

“I like this bowl. This is going to be my keys bowl, where I always put my keys when I get home. If I see keys not in the bowl, they go in the bowl!”

“I’m going to put my shoes by this shelf. This Is the shoe-shelf now. If I’m indoors my shoes better be on the shelf!”

“I’m going to be early to work. Every day this week I’m going to arrive 10 minutes early.”

“If I want something on Amazon, I’ll put it on my wishlist, not my shopping cart.”

“I have 2 credit cards. This one is for ESSENTIALS like real food and gas and fixing my car. This other one is for play junk, because it has a tiny credit limit. If I want a pile of felting wool, or a trilobite fossil, or an actual gecko skull, those are treats, and go on my play card.”

Each of those habits on its own is nbd. If I tried to do all of them at once, I’d probably fail. But! Nowadays, I’ve got a shoe shelf so the shoes are organized and not a tripping hazard, and I can always find my keys. My reckless spending is under control. One at a time, over a year, I made little changes. 

For the “Time Loss” deal, I made plans with people. That’s it.

I made plans to fill up my week, so I had other people to expect me to show up, and who’d be disappointed if I wasn’t there.

Monday nights is where I DM some D&D. This also means I need to set time aside each week to come up with maps and adventures and NPCs. 

Tuesday nights is writer’s group, where I visit with a lil club and we critique each other’s writing as we all strive to publish a novel. Tuesday lunch break at work, and right after work before writer’s group is when I panic and crank out a chunk of writing so I have something to bring. Either way, that’s still a couple hours each week for writing, even if it’s crammed into one day 😉

Wednesday night is for tidying. Put on a fun podcast and listen while I do dishes, fold laundry, sweep, etc. My brain is engaged with the podcast, while my hands are being productive with stuff I don’t really have to think about.

Thursday, Friday, and Saturday are totally free because that’s when my friends ask me to go places with them, and I’ll usually have plan offers cropping up. This Saturday is a Fast + Furious marathon! I’m hype.

Sunday afternoon is for volunteering, and cooking. Again, with the podcasts to occupy my brain, while my hands chop and season and do all that mindless junk. I do ‘Sunday Meal Prep’ which is where you cook a ton on Sunday, then allocate food into meal—sized portions to eat throughout the week. Basically making your own TV dinners. =P  - I don’t have to worry about cooking the rest of the week! - Then Sunday Night is usually when I prepare for DND ahahaa

----

Unfortunately I can’t tell you exactly what will fix YOUR particular problems. There are a TON of resources about good organization ideas, alarm tricks, etc.

My best advice is “Start Small. A hundred baby steps over a year gets you places.” And “Forgive your brain! Try again!”

Part of that forgiveness thing is just realizing that what works for other people, likely won’t work for you. Instead of ‘Just doing it’ - ADHD’ers often have to trick and manipulate ourselves into doing things at a sideways diagonal. So the thing gets DONE, even if it’s not done exactly the same path as other people do it, or in the same timeframe. As long as it gets done, it’s ok.

If you’re in school, maybe you need to join a study session, where other people will HOLD YOU to showing up, and actually studying, or actually doing homework in the same room. I certainly needed that. 

If you can’t manufacture executive functions, peer-pressure is fine.

[ja9doeswhole30]

Food Freedom: The Good

Hello friends.

I swear, I’ve been trying to write a post updating my progress the last few weeks and it just didn’t happen. The start of Passover kept me very busy, and I have a draft about the holiday’s dietary restrictions and the nature of Seder meals. I finished the Reintroduction phase right before Passover started, and I enjoy telling stories in linear fashion, so this seemed logical at the time, but now that it’s been a while it might be better to discuss things differently. 

So, this post will be about all the Whole30 victories that I’ve experienced/maintained in the last few weeks. Then I’ll post separately about the fails/things that need the most work. 

3 meals + 1 snack, at home. The biggest impact Whole30 has had on my diet is to emphasize large, filling, plant-based meals. I’ve always made it a point to cook lots of veggies and lean meats at home, but I was an avowed grazer. I’d have a small (usually processed-carb-based) breakfast, which meant I was ready for snack mid-morning, followed by a small lunch, and another (possibly two) snacks in the afternoon before dinner. 

Now, most days, I’ve gotten pretty good at planning out meals and (limited) snacks so that I eat in a structured fashion. Once I started trying it, I found that I can usually sit down for a nice breakfast around 8 AM, which is late enough that I haven’t eaten in at least 12 hours, but early enough that I’m not starving. Sometimes if I’m able I try to push it to 9 AM to extend the overnight fasting period, but that doesn’t always work. Either way, though, having a good, filling breakfast will keep me going until lunch around 12:30-1PM. I allow for a snack in the afternoon but try to push that ‘til at least 4 PM. Then we have dinner at about 6:30 and finish by 7:00. 

Less indiscriminate eating. Another big reason I started Whole30 in the first place was that I would constantly pick at my kids’ snacks, or other nonsense we happen to have around the house. Hence, always gave myself credit for being a healthy eater, but whatever good I was doing eating plant-based & whole foods for meals was offset by my random unscheduled snacks. With certain foods off-limits during the Whole30, I broke my habit of helping myself to a few Cheddar Bunnies or chips whenever I wanted. Food Freedom Forever discusses the concept of deviating from an eating plan if you really consider the treat worth it, and can properly savor the experience. I haven’t been perfect with this practice (more on that next post), but it’s a good guideline. I’m definitely in the mindset of closing the vault unless there’s a truly worthwhile deposit to be made. Yesterday, for instance, I was tired and considered ordering sushi for lunch, but decided that reheating things at home was perfectly feasible and I didn’t want sushi that badly so as to indulge. 

I broke up with Dunkin’ Donuts. While I don’t drink an enormous amount of coffee, I have at various phases of life been a regular at chain coffee establishments. Although raised in a Dunkin’ household, my most sustained love affair was with Starbucks, which provided daily fuel for my second summer of law school, studying for the bar exam, and my first job. The Starbucks around the corner from my Brooklyn apartment became a necessary destination when I was home with my first baby. Thereafter we moved to a house in the suburbs, with the nearest Starbucks and DD each a mile away, serving as motivation for a nice walk when the weather was right and nothing else was going on. Following the birth of baby #2, coffee became both critically necessary and harder to obtain out of the house. The DD in the next town over has a drive-thru, which I patronized occasionally but otherwise made coffee at home - always iced, with whole milk and a teaspoon of Sugar in the Raw. 

Gradually, though, my kids were spending more time in preschool, I went back to work part-time, and I also became aware that DD’s rewards program is much more generous than Starbucks’. For a long time it seemed like there was always a promotional deal, be it a $1.99 medium latte or double-points when you order on the app or whatever. Going back to this past fall, I’d gotten sucked pretty deeply into a downward spiral of vice. First came an increase in the number of visits per week (from one to three... or more). Then I got into the habit of adding ridiculously sugary flavored syrups to my order, which I justified by asking for only one pump of the stuff, as opposed to the three or four the usual recipe would call for. Finally, I would use an especially stressful or exhaustion-ridden day as an excuse to get a large instead of my usual medium. 

Coffee every day having become a necessity, I began keeping a supply of small-batch homemade cold brew for my non-DD days. Thankfully I’d perfected my cold-brewing method prior to Whole30, because I knew that during the 30 days I wouldn’t be able to go to Dunkin’. In theory I could have sussed out the brand of almond milk they offer, to assess compliance, and possibly keep the habit alive. But I knew, deep down, that it would be especially worthwhile to cut my outside-coffee habit off at the knees. 

It was hard. Having my homemade cold brew with almond-coconut milk (no sugar) became a nice part of my daily routine, but during the Whole30, when I was limiting so many foods, it hit particularly hard to drive past a Dunkin’ and know that I wouldn’t - couldn’t - go in. It was truly the biggest form of deprivation for me; I didn’t miss the “treat” itself so much as participation in the ritual. As with the rest of Whole30, though, it felt like a great achievement once I realigned my habits. 

Case in point: On April 15th (federal tax deadline here in the U.S.) DD had an offer for a $1 medium coffee, so I made an exception, purchasing a black iced coffee on the way to work and adding my almond-coconut milk once I got to the office. It was... not good? I guess I’d gotten used to the bold flavor of my cold brew, and the way I make it at home. And while I was excited to participate in the commercial-coffee rat race yet again, the unsatisfying result was the exception that proved the rule. It’s cheaper and healthier to make coffee at home, so that’s what I do now. (I even grind my own beans, which feels really rustic and industrious.)

Daily exercise. During Whole30, I think I exercised 27 days. Initially it was motivation to earn my extra post-workout meal, but even prior to that my daily elliptical session + strength workout had become a seemingly necessary part of my routine. Since Whole30 ended, I’ve been able to maintain the habit. Some days, I need to work to squeeze it in, setting up kids with breakfast before I race down to the basement to bang out a quick 20 minutes. Other mornings my kids play downstairs and I need to pause my workout to help them figure out a toy or set up another activity. In the past, their presence might have stopped me from even attempting the workout (”Why bother if I’m just going to get interrupted?”), but I find that if I just force myself to get started, I’m compelled follow through even on the most hectic of mornings. Other times, I’ve been able to skip the morning elliptical in favor of an outside walk later in the day, which has been a (literal) breath of fresh spring air. 

That’s it for now, I think! Stay tuned for the next entry which will detail all the stuff I’m still doing wrong. D:

[thezodiaczone]

July Forecast for Pisces

The excitement is building to a fever pitch, Pisces! The first three weeks of July are loaded with passion, playfulness and adventure—along with a few unexpected plot twists to heighten the dramatic tension. For starters, the Sun is in fellow water sign Cancer until July 22, igniting your lusty and creative fifth house. You’re feeling bold and frisky, in the mood to dress up, hit the town and stir up some good-natured trouble. A summer fling could spark up for single Pisces, and even spoken-for Fish will enjoy some extra attention as the smoldering Sun gives you head-turner status.

Changes in your love life could be afoot mid-month because on July 12, a partial solar (new moon) eclipse will land in Cancer, sparking a confident new chapter in your fifth house of lust, passion and self-expression. Eclipses sweep in four to six times a year and turn “normal” upside-down, removing anything that’s past its expiration date and flinging open the doors for a fresh start. July will bring two of this summer’s three scene-shifting eclipses, so fasten your seat belt!

With this eclipse setting off fireworks, single Pisces could feel sudden and unexpected chemistry with someone, and there’s a good chance they’ll be wildly different from your usual type. The fifth house also rules fertility, and this eclipse could herald a surprise pregnancy or news of one in your circle. Artists and creatives could have a spotlight moment, attracting fame or booking a gig that will put your name on the map. If there was ever a day to say “yes” to a blind date or to show your work in public, this is it. Take a bold and proactive step at this eclipse. With the glamorous fifth house illuminated, you could make a radical change to your wardrobe, hair color or look.

This is the inaugural eclipse in a series that will fall on the Cancer/Capricorn axis between now and July 2020, initiating a wave of changes around love, friendship, collaborations and creativity. You’ll learn important lessons regarding drama versus detachment: when to jump into the fray and when to stay out of it. There will be moments when it’s your turn to be the unapologetic solo star and others when teamwork will make the dream work.

This is the only eclipse from this group in 2018, and it’s a sneak preview of changes that will really take flight in 2019. Still, it will be an intense start! At this Cancer eclipse, YOU get to be the lead singer—but watch out for jealous bandmates, Pisces. This same day brings the annual opposition between the ego-driven Sun and calculating Pluto in your group-activity zone. A friend could be astonishingly unsupportive of your exciting news or big plans. Don’t let this take the wind out of your sails, Pisces. You don’t need anyone like that in your life. In fact, this eclipse could be your first clue of the shifts coming to Team Pisces.

Keep the energy upbeat and positive and surround yourself with people who support your ascent. The stars certainly do: On July 10, expansive Jupiter will end a four-month retrograde in Scorpio and your ninth house of adventure, growth and new horizons. Jupiter only comes to this abundant part of your chart every 12 years; it’s here from October 10, 2017, until November 8, 2018. Jupiter’s direct moves will speed up matters involving travel, study, entrepreneurship or any big leap of faith. Let the visionary ideas have some breathing room: In November, Jupiter will start a year-long visit to your tenth house of career and ambition, marking a period of extreme professional growth and luck. Don’t box yourself into anything before you’re ready. Let yourself explore and experiment—those adventures could lead you to your highest calling soon enough.

The frantic pace starts to level off a bit on July 22, when the Sun moves into Leo and your sixth house of health, fitness and organization. After a decadent Cancer season, you’re ready for a little bit of a cleanup job. But don’t rush to sign that two-year gym contract or join the sunrise hot yoga challenge just yet. Mercury—the planet of communication, technology and interpersonal affairs—will be retrograde in Leo from July 26 to August 19, which could disrupt your attempts at maintaining order. Back up electronic data and cut down on multitasking because this signal-scrambling retrograde can wreak havoc on your workflow. Watch your stress levels and boost your immune system, as you could be prone to catching a summer cold or virus during this powered-down time. Wash your hands often and avoid any coughers or sneezers!

Is it time to let something go, Pisces? On June 27, a total lunar (full moon) eclipse sweeps into Aquarius and your twelfth house of closure, healing and surrender. Resistance is futile because full moons AND the twelfth house signify transitions. Powered by a super-charged eclipse, anything that’s past its expiration date will be “eclipsed” away. There’s no use clinging to an outmoded situation or relationship or trying to avoid feeling certain emotions. Allow them to pass through you, and you could heal for once and for all.

Passionate Mars will be traveling near this eclipse, which can trigger a deluge of tears or a fantasy-fueled romantic encounter that takes your breath away. With Mars retrograde, an ex could return and sweep you off your feet. Or bottled-up anger and resentment could all come tumbling out (yikes!). With the twelfth house’s emphasis on wellness, you could have an emotional or spiritual breakthrough. Some Pisces might confront an addictive pattern or make a brave decision to finally address a self-sabotaging habit.

This is the final Aquarius eclipse in a series that’s been touching down on the Leo/Aquarius axis since February 2017, impacting your sixth house of health and organization and your twelfth house of healing and closure. If you’ve grappled with any medical or psychological issues, this eclipse can help you get closer to the root cause. Eliminating stress, improving your diet and exploring gut health could all be critical to bringing vitality back. You’ve also been learning to equalize giving and receiving—and how to cut back those codependent ties that Pisces can slip into so easily.

Over the past two years, you’ve recalibrated the balance between logic and intuition, thinking and feeling, traditional versus holistic health practices. Look back to the prior two Aquarius eclipses on August 7, 2017, and February 15, 2018, for clues of what might fully come together now. There will be one last Leo eclipse on January 21, 2019. Between now and then, work to identify any emotional blocks or mind-body-soul connections that could be manifesting as physical symptoms. And whenever possible, get out of your own way, Pisces. Rather than be your own worst enemy, become your own best advocate!

Love & Romance

With action planet Mars retrograde in Aquarius and your introspective twelfth house all month, it’s a perfect time to do any necessary forgiveness work or bring closure to an open wound or unresolved grudge. If you never fully grieved a disappointing loss, it may bubble up now. Since retrogrades can bring back the past, a former flame could resurface, either someone with whom you still have karmic stuff to work out or a “come here now go away” type that never fails to stress you out and confuse you. Watch for obsessing and denial—don’t brush aside red flags that crop up again. Old trust issues, or some hurt around a betrayal you pushed aside, could flare up now. Your resentment could surge up in a passive-aggressive way. Make an effort to be direct with your communication.

Helping you home in on the trouble spots is the other love planet, Venus, which is touring Leo and your fastidious sixth house until July 9. While this can bring out your flaw-finding side, you’re also able to diplomatically problem-solve with a willing partner. But make sure you’re not the one doing all the heavy lifting. Watch the tendency to offer (well-meaning) help to someone only to get WAY too enmeshed in what’s truly not your problem. Be kind to yourself, as Venus here can summon a self-critical streak and body-image issues as summer kicks in. Ramp up the self-care, indulge in gentle movement, healing treatments and healthy food.

Relationships balance out after July 9, when Venus enters Virgo and your partnership zone, restoring the love and helping you get back in sync after a few weeks that may have sent you to the edge. Single Fish should redouble efforts to meet quality people by getting more involved in your own hobbies and special interests. Meeting someone that way practically ensures you’ll something meaningful in common to build on.

Throughout the month, Venus will form flowing trines to innovative Uranus (July 11), structured Saturn (July 14) and transformational Pluto (July 27), all in the interpersonal houses of your chart. These dates could herald deep and transformational conversations or powerful chemistry. Friends and social circles could turn up promising long-term prospects. You could meet someone online or through an introduction. Don’t overlook your inner circle: A casual connection could start to seem like a whole lot more.

Key Dates

July 11: Venus-Uranus Trine Let other people’s opinions and attitudes roll off your back. You could care less what they think! When feistily independent Uranus waves its liberating wand over vixen Venus, you’re only interested in one thing: doing love YOUR way. Single Fish could reel in someone special online or through mutual friends.

Money & Career

Pace yourself, Pisces. Energy planet Mars is retrograde in Aquarius and your sleepy twelfth house all month, which could find you on the verge of burnout. You may be putting in long hours to finish up a project but pay attention to how hard you’re pushing yourself. The twelfth house rules deception and hidden agendas. Are you sensing an office rivalry or starting to see someone’s true (and unflattering) colors? Be careful how much you reveal and whom you trust. While it’s tempting to spill your guts over lunch to a coworker, keep personal information under wraps for now.

The July 27 Aquarius lunar eclipse could bring a transition or possibly the end of one career chapter that propels you onto a new path that’s more creatively and spiritually fulfilling. You’ll also see who truly has your back, and you might cut ties with a person who doesn’t.

Busy yourself with admin tasks, decluttering and handling unfinished projects, especially when the Sun moves into Leo and your efficient and systematic sixth house. But take note that Mercury, ruler of technology and communication, will be retrograde from July 26 to August 19 here. You could have mishaps with employees and service providers since the sixth house rules helpful people. This is an important time to get everyone on Team Pisces clear and aligned. Perhaps there’s additional training that you or your support crew need. Look into short classes or certifications or identify any “weak spots” that need to be strengthened. Retrogrades turn our attention to the past. Clean out your inbox, reconnect with old colleagues, edit and revise your plans. The eco-friendly vibes of the sixth house make this a great time to “green” your workspace and home (some great ideas here) and create an all-around more sustainable lifestyle.

Key Dates

July 5: Mercury-Mars Opposition Stay mindful of what you share in public today. Your thinking may be colored by your emotions, and hence muddled, and you could make a knee-jerk reaction when a calculated judgment is called for. Hold off on big decisions: You’re likely to regret them.

Love Days: 12, 16 Money Days: 23, 6 Luck Days: 19, 30 Off Days: 14, 18

[pingou7]

Nous allons enfin nous régaler! (Tell me what you eat and I will tell you who you are)

the food travel au 

3 ½ month film schedule. 31 countries. 24 episodes.

2 people who might just fall in love along the way. 

                        Chapter 3: France : Paris-Lille

Author: 

@pingou7

(Read on AO3)

They arrive in France on schedule and thankfully the whole crew has pretty much recovered from their stomach bug by then. Shara Bey looks a bit queasy in the morning perhaps, but everyone is still curious about what their short trip to the country of Haute Cuisine will entail.

Everyone but Jyn that is, and despite his growing anxiety — because this was France, people! — Cassian can’t help but notice that she has grown more subdued since they’ve picked out their luggage at the airport.

Okay, she’s in a mood and her French is infinitely better than what he personally recalled from High School. It’s true what they say about French being bad at languages, by the way: It’s not that people don’t bother, exactly, it’s more than they’d best not to, their accent makes it hard to understand.

Honestly, he just gives directions in Spanish and there the taxi driver gets it, easier for everyone. Until Jyn stops looking by the window and engages the conversation!

“Nous ne sommes pas en vacances. On est une équipe de tournage."

The driver seems ridiculously overjoyed to hear her speak his language and grins at her in the rear-view mirror.

"Vraiment? Pour le cinéma?"

"Non, la télévision, c'est un programme culinaire."

"You speak French?" Draven interrupts, interest picked. "I didn't know that, it wasn't on your resume."

"Now you do," she shrugs, turning back her attention on the driver.

"La cuisine française est la meilleure du monde, vous aurez de quoi filmer!"

"C'est l'idée. Mais la France n'est pas notre seule destination, on visite plusieurs pays."

Okay, all of this is so quick and fluid that Cassian can't follow. But he can see Draven's brain gear turning as he insists:

"What did you say?"

"Nothing important, I'm not disclosing anything, don't worry. We're doing a food show for TV, we do several countries. Our friend here thinks French food is the best, obviously, and that we're gonna have a lot to cover."

"It's a given," Cassian smiles, impressed by her proficiency, "it's nice of you to speak up, though. Might facilitate the dialogue, too."

"It's nothing to get excited over," Jyn grumbles, sighing, "I've been to France before and have a knack for language, this is just idle chat anyway."

He can’t explain why but there’s something unsettling for her, that has nothing to do with food poisoning. He's curious, but drops the matter when they make a mandatory stop in a boulangerie, where Cassian marvels about the variety of breads and pastries offered, not to mention the cakes...

Mothma actually volunteers, Luke is already taking out his smartphone and since Jyn has already proven her ability to speak French, she too is put to contribution. The two other cars choose to proceed however, waiting at the hotel.

Cassian, Mothma Jyn and Luke are originally sent to get some crusty golden baguettes, of course, their white crumb, thick and soft. Yet a man before them prefers a boule de campagne, round shaped and thicker still, browner and earthier too.

Fascinating.

Honestly Cassian feels perplexed yet eager to order and the seller is amiable and smiling has she suggests viennoiseries.

"We have to take at least a croissant and a pain au chocolat each for everyone," Jyn declares immediately, strangely bossy all of sudden.

"Can we get a brioche too?" Luke asks, eyeing the one in the counter with barely concealed longing.

"Sure, if you want," she agrees easily, translating the order.

"Oh, there's chouquettes too," Mothma exclaims delightfully, legit clapping like a little girl. Thus a small bag of choux buns with sugar pearls joins the order.

Like she was on a mission, Jyn finally asks for different types of croissants too:

"The regular type is made of fresh butter," Jyn explains, "but we will take the almond version too."

"Would you like some of our savoury version," the seller asks helpfully, "it's with cheese and ham."

While in English he'd known the pains au chocolat to be called chocolate croissant — even if the chocolate is hidden within — he gets primly chastised by Jyn:

"Contrary to popular belief, it's not the same thing."

"Sorry, I had no idea. How do you all even know this?"

"My sister Leia likes posh bakeries," Luke says as only explanation.

"Me too, though it's been years since I've had chouquettes," Mothma adds.

But to his frustration, Jyn doesn't say anything has she asks for the total. He commits as much information as he can to memory and Mothma actually has to chime in with a few Euros of her own since she, Jyn and Luke kept adding some douceurs to taste. Clearly they are more familiar with French pastries than they’d let on, but he doesn’t mind being educated on the subject!

In fact Cassian grins wilder as the demeanor of other clients goes from neutral to slightly amused. He even catches something akin to respect on the face of an old lady behind them, as she glances at the pile of sweetness.

Unfortunately, it’s an improvised stop and they can’t film on a whim right now — photos will have to do. That’s a shame, for Monica Mothma isn’t a woman prone to expansiveness and it would have been nice to catch this unscripted madness, even if just for themselves.

Eventually they buy enough to feed an army or for everyone to develop diabetes, at the very least. It’s all for the greater good of the show, of course... They actually film a tiny clip back at their hotel and post a few candids on Instagram.

Kes teases them for their sweet tooth, saying he should have come with just to protect the bakery’s supplies and Draven rolls his eyes, but both are getting their faces stuffed with croissants and pains au chocolat so... Though far from constituting a balanced diet, their purchases become the entirety of their evening meal.

To be fair, who knew there was so much type of stuffed viennoiseries to begin with? It’s almost maddening!

Rationally he knows he shouldn’t indulge so much on the first day but the bread is crispy, the brioche is sweet but light... choosing is a lost cause and truthfully nobody seems to care.

Jyn is seated across from him though and a tiny speck of chocolate stays struck at the corner of her plush lips. He starts to ogles her mouth and reflexively licks his own — just in case a crumb of his own is there, too — but thankfully she doesn’t pay much attention to the people next to her.

Instead, she keeps staring at an invisible point in her plate. No pastry deserves to be looked at with such sadness unless it got prematurely rotten, and he says as much, eliciting a chuckle from the guys. She momentarily meets his gaze as she bites in her pain au chocolat again but her spirits have not lifted. Failed attempt then... He hopes his heated cheeks are the result of the two glasses of red wine he had before dessert, he’s not usually this awkward.

But she intrigues him, he wants to know her better! She’s unpredictable too and rather enticing. She proves to be an asset to the show and not just as a Camera Operator. But of course there is no way he’s going to say it. Besides it’s wine and sugar load talking and they have to focus on the French schedule within the next hour.

"Last time I was here, I was 15," she finally reveals, "but there's water under bridge."

If he weren't focused on her, he might have missed it, but like a private oath, she whispers next: "Saw has no place on this job, nor in my life. Paris doesn’t change that."

He's the only one to catch that, but before Cassian can figure out the meaning of this comment, everybody’s head snaps up at hearing Draven clearing his throat:

“By public demand, we will be setting this episode slightly freelance, as we go up North. About the capital, Cassian has an appointment at “Au Doux Raisin” tomorrow. It proposes a panel of traditional French dishes that would be interesting to foreign viewers.”

Draven enumerates this in a flat voice, looking bored as usual, yet Cassian starts to freak out internally: France was renowned for its Cuisine. He even follows French cooking shows in his spare time! How is he supposed to do his own thing despite the legions of stuff available?

“Sorry to interrupt Sir, but how are we supposed to squeeze several sets in so little time? As far as I know, most traditional French recipes involve spending quite a bit of time if not the whole day over the stove.”

“Don’t fret Andor,” the Director retorts impatiently, “it’s not like you’re be the one doing the cooking, right? So spare me the nerves. Thanks to our split filming teams, most material will be easily covered too. You just have to taste and judge, not really a hardship for you, I suspect.”

No, perhaps not. But Cassian doesn’t like the way his Director is handling things tonight. Tension increases a bit in the room but he keeps his trap shut, not wanting to spark things off on their first night here. The traveling show was already bumpy enough as far as he’s concerned so better not add to the man’s frustration.

“I wanted to see the sights a bit. It’s the city of lights, it’s every lover’s dream,” Kes mumbles.

Unfortunately, it seems that he's not discreet enough.

“Dameron, if you want to play the tourist, plan a romantic vacation for your fiancée AFTER the rush. We’ve got no time for that and moreover, I don’t care for your personal life,” Draven chastises in a clipped tone.

Cassian suppresses a sigh but the case is closed, crew eventually dismissed for the night. He’s pretty sure Draven was a military at some point before going into production or he is one in an alternate universe, with the way he’s usually behaving...

The next day, the crew did some sightseeing before their appointment — they could not be here and not pause in front of the Eiffel Tower, couldn’t they?

"Come on, we gotta have a picture with all of us! It's Paris guys, you can't be more French than that!"

"We won't all fit on a single one," Wedge Antilles says.

"You already had me posing in London, Skywalker, I'm not doing this again. Besides, Cassian is the one that should feature, he's the face of the show."

"Please Jyn, it'd be a group pic, not just you this time. A memento. Don't you want to show this to your friend Bodhi?"

Damn Luke and his boyishness... Everyone caves, elbows and shoulders squeezed together awkwardly. As Kes and Shara are the only couple, they also strike a cheesy pose for prosperity, likely adding some "romance" to the collection.

They ignore people seeking them for money or whatever petition they wanted to get a signature for though... Some details must be glossed over.

"We're not airing on a discovery channel," Draven says, already checking his watch, "most of the tedious editing falls on Kay’s team anyway. Let's get going."

Of course, for professional purposes Cassian forgoes lunch, preferring to nimble on a sandwich so he’d be famished when the time to shoot arrives.

And arrive it does.

A van comes to pick them up and their materials for the intended point of rendezvous between the Jardin du Luxembourg and the Jardin Des Plantes, in the 5th Arrondissement. Quite a pretty place and Luke already mumbles about some hashtags and photos he’d like to take afterwards.

When they finally enter the brasserie called “Au Doux Raisin”  (At the sweet grapefruit) — a little before the opening, obviously, for the team has to settle — they instantly find themselves in a typical homey Parisian environment. From the very first second Cassian knows why the production chose this establishment in particular:

The meals offered represent just as many potential discoveries, yet not always the cheapest — within reasonable price range nonetheless. The brasserie sets a real atmosphere with portraits in black and white of old famous actors, an old-fashioned counter and something in the air so uniquely French that he’s surprised the staff doesn’t wear berets with white striped shirts.

Truthfully, everyone is excited, including Jyn who looks oddly happy to be there.

“We’re somewhere straight out of the movie Les Tontons flingueurs,” she says, watching their surroundings with sparkling eyes. At the lack of response she gets, she prompts: “You know, Crooks in Clover, also known as Monsieur Gangster? Ring a bell?”

To be honest the actors look familiar, Jean Gabin and Lino Ventura most of all, but nobody shares her excitement and she automatically returns to her defensive stance:

“What? I’m a cinephile and actually did study film making, you know? These actors are legendary among French cinema, you must have at least heard of some of them!”

“Somewhat. I'm more interested in the fact that this is the first time that I've caught you smiling since we’ve left England.”

Cassian only wished to put her out of her misery as they prepared the set. He gets a bit jittery before the beginning of each filming session so he likes to see people enjoying themselves, it calms him down. Yet somehow it was the wrong thing to say and her lit-up face turns stony as she replies:

“Yeah, well, let’s get this done.”

Smooth, Andor, well done, he thinks sarcastically as Draven yells action and a waiter gives him the menu. Most of the crew will stick to plates of charcuterie and cheese but he has a few possibilities to consider. Of course the list has been communicated beforehand, but ultimately Cassian always has the final choice, to stay as genuine as possible and because he prefers to eat whatever strikes his fancy. It’s more digestible in case of several takes.

Finally he chooses a “Bourguignon meal”: traditional snails then beef and wine stew, a plate of cheese and some crème brûlée to finish. Plentiful but really appetizing. Of course, if it weren’t for the show, he’d just stick with some of the various grâtins and be done with it, but the place calls for gluttony and as a presenter he has to make sure viewers will be satisfied.

If the French can stomach as much in one sitting, so will he.

(Still, he’s thankful Kay’s not currently with him or he’d be sure to get an earful...)

The preliminary speech done in a single take, the first course comes quickly. Famous escargots, classic of the French to eat snails, so the occasion was too good to pass on.

Cassian already had some experience tasting snails in the French way, had enjoyed it so he thought he didn’t have to mask his facial expressions.

He was wrong.

The promised “Gros Escargots de Bourgogne” come in front of him and truth be told they look appealing enough. But what the heck is he supposed to make of the... unusual cutlery... that the waiter brought along? It looks more like a surgical instrument than anything Cassian has ever used.

This entrée should come with warnings, explanatory note and step by step tutorial included.

For a split second Cassian blinks owlishly at the camera then he recovers, a consummate professional. Should be easily enough, really, right? A circular plate with six stuffed snails in their shells... a tiny fork with two tines... and pliers of some kind? It has a spring with a round extremity, obviously meant to keep the shell in place while with the fork he’s supposed to stab what’s inside.

Alright, I’ve got it, he reflects after a few nano seconds  of appraisal.

He doesn’t bother with explaining his course of action yet, focused on the task at hand while he states that the snails are cooked with a butter mixed with chopped garlic and parsley.

He looms over the snail closest to him, lift it slowly from his dedicated hole in the plate... but he hasn’t got the chance to use the fork. The damned thing escapes from the contraption and literally flies several feet away from his stunned face.

Nobody moves, not even Draven says cut, yet Cassian stares dumbly at the ruined snail on the floor, hidden two tables away from his. From the way Jyn angles the camera, he guesses she’s zooming on it too...

Fucking French!

It takes three tries for him to master the so called “pince à escargots” — to the utter delight of the crew around him, as they personally try some pâté de lapin à l’ancienne, saucisson sec or saucisson à l’ail and smelly cheese like Camembert or Roquefort.

By the time the Bœuf Bourguignon is served, he feels oddly proud to have won against the perfidy of posh Gastronomie, despite his bruised ego. Thankfully the beef stew is not as challenging, with a regular, universal and most of all reliable knife. Not that he really needs to cut anything, mind you: from what he knows of the process, the beef has macerated in red wine for hours to get this tender. The serving is pretty generous too, and it comes with boiled potatoes, mushrooms, onions and carrots. Thyme and laurel too, to perfume the whole.

He’s full when the four types of cheese come next but he explains the different milks each of them were made of. He actually has flash cards ready on his knees like a cheating schoolboy but their filming time turning short calls for desperate measures. At the dessert he struggles to get through. It’s delicious, it’s just that he reached the peak of his sugary intake. After a few spoonfuls immortalized on film, he hands the rest to Shara’s extended hands.

Overall, good stuff, really. Two glasses of red wine to complete the meal and footage aside, Cassian is more than satisfied with his Parisian trip.

They wrap it up, shake a few hands but take their time calling it a night. Paris is bewitching in the evening and the company is boisterous as they go along the shores of the Seine. Cassian uses it to his advantage, walking his meal off and doing his best to ignore the taunts made over the snail incident.

"I couldn't believe the famous Cassian Andor got bested by a snail. One that was already dead and cooked too," Jyn teases.

"Hey, I succeeded eventually, and it's not the snail as much as the tool that's to blame."

"Still, I thought you'd have more dexterity."

"Sorry to disappoint you, I'll do better next time."

It’s all in good sports really, but while Jyn snorts, Antilles sniggers and Luke stumbles, slamming against his back, blushing inexplicably. What has gotten into them? But she's still smiling as they drive back to the hotel and suddenly he doesn’t mind the French and their peculiarities so much. The production duo have still a decent amount of work before going to bed, but everyone else goes to sleep.

(Maybe Kes and Shara got MIA along the way but the contract doesn’t bind them to a curfew and Mothma turns a blind eye).

Cassian only wishes he had that much freedom as the so called star of the show. But it has been a long day and he would have nobody to share a nightly tryst. Cassian Andor is reasonable, professional and single to boot, so it doesn’t cost him much.

His dreams are fitful and slightly disturbing though. Jolting awake only five hours later, the only image that stays with him is of Jyn, replacing Nicole Kidman’s part in the Moulin Rouge! movie. She looked tantalizing in his subconscious and very not herself: less pragmatic and more eerily sexy.

He shakes the feeling away as he dresses himself. He has a long day ahead and can’t afford to fantasize about the only unattached woman in his crew. She’s a pretty thing and kinda mysterious too, but he is awake now and the dreamy bullshit has no incidence on his job.

He decides to tiptoe in the free area, seeking a cup of herbal tea. Whether mint or ginger should help with the food overload from the night before, surely such things could be found on the table set for self service?

He forgets all about beverages the instant he sees Jyn awake over an hotplate, her back to him. As her name stumbles from his lips, disbelieving, she stiffens visibly and spins slowly around.

Her voice is still sleepy and his annoyingly raspy as they greet each other. In November, the sun isn’t up so early and won’t be for quite some time, unfortunately and the bleached out white neon lights accentuate the exhaustion on her face. Very far from a dreamy cabaret dancer, his mind evaluates worriedly. Has she even slept? She’s dressed in her usual clothes already and ignores the elephant in the room as she asks why he too is already awake.

“I ate too much,” he answers.

“Well of course you did, not everyone can eat as much as the French do just before going to bed. Stomachache?”

“No, just energy of the calories pumping through my veins.”

“How do you plan to work it out then?”

He represses a smirk. With her velvet morning voice, it sounded a lot like an opening for innuendo. She realizes this a second too late and just purses her lips. They are not yet close enough to tease each other, so he throws her a lifeline and gestures to the food he interrupted.

“Isn’t it what you’re doing in the kitchen Jyn?”

“I wish. It’s just... I needed an outlet and I thought I’d best do something useful. Couldn’t wake my best friend.”

He wanted to ask her about what she needed an outlet for, yet people keep appearing and she visibly closes off. Obviously Cassian isn’t the only one awake as the self-service kitchen fills in slowly with the rest of the team. Fat chance, again. He sits, rubbing the back of his neck and mutters a hello.

“What’s the delicious smell I can sniff?” Luke asks, entering the room, nose upturned and honest to God sniffing the air like the human puppy he usually personifies.

“The bread and brioche won’t keep for much longer. So I’m making pain perdu,” Jyn answers, sending a fleeting smile in his direction.

“Lost bread,” Kes translates confusedly, eyeing the slices browning slowly browning in the pan, “what is lost about it?”

“Dunno, it’s just the name,” she sighs, repeating the process to make enough for everybody.

Or maybe the food isn’t the lost thing here, Cassian muses, she is, her tired eyes and forlorn attitude hinting as much. Then, realizing how stupid his thoughts are, he mentally slaps himself and hands the coffee pot to Wedge Antilles, who is blindly reaching for it, like a drowning man and a lifebelt, a junkie and his fix.

Seriously, besides Luke and himself, Cassian wonders how these people can do this work and NOT be morning people. Like, never ever. Kay has complained he had to put with them grumping and groaning until the clock reached 8 AM in the past, but at the time, he thought his friend was being his usual pessimistic self. But as he considers the bunch of sleepyheads around, he has to admit there was some truth to it.

When a plate arrives in front of him, with icing sugar or cinnamon for him to add on if he so wishes, he’s pleasantly surprised.

“You told me you didn’t how to cook,” he says, mildly accusatory.

He leaves the first slice bare, adds sugar on the second and cinnamon on the third, to have the full tasting range. As soon as he tries the first, the goodness dissolves on his tongue, creamy and buttery, the two variations making a perfect combination between sweetness and a tad spicy. He knows various ways to save stale bread, but somehow this tastes different. Besides them Luke was already helping himself with a second serving, grinning.

“Please, this isn't cooking Cassian,” Jyn shrugs. “I’m sure it’s not the first time you’ve had this.”

“Not like that, though, this is unique. How did you do it?”

Most of all he wants to know what prompted her to fix this at six in the morning. But even if he had the nerve to ask, she likely wouldn’t answer. So, asking for her recipe was as close as he was willing to go.

“I made the slices my own way. More often than not people use eggs where I used milk. Once the slices suck up all the milk, getting slightly spongy again, I put them in a salt-buttered pan. Easy, not haute cuisine.”

Easy perhaps, but her wistful tone speaks of something more. He knows preparing food can reveal a lot about a person — hell, that was the reason he got enrolled in all this cooking stuff in the first place… — and… well, he remembers their stunt at the Lahmu Restaurant in London. Clearly her relationship to food is… personal.

God, why Kay isn’t here to smack the corniness out of his head?! He almost feels like using a pan on his own skull if that could just stop his brain from overanalyzing a mere breakfast plate.

He doesn’t even have time for this, with the shooting schedule they have to maintain. After all, he might envy other people’s low functioning brains, they are saved much trouble.  

Draven announces their Parisian Interlude is over and satisfactory — praise the Lord for that — but he still has a surprise in store...

“A… bus?”

“Yes,” Draven confirms, ”we should be grateful, it’s fully furbished too, functional, and a bit cheaper.”

“Whatever spares us a flight,” Dameron says in relief.

“You don’t like flying?” Jyn asks, surprised.

“If I have to take hop on a plane, I will. It’s way quicker, after all. But yeah, if I have to choose, road’s better. Plus, we can build team spirit or whatever. It’d be like a school trip.”

“Oh yeah,” Luke cheers, absurdly enticed with the idea, “I’m sure our followers would dig that kind of thing, you know?”

“I wouldn’t know,” Jyn shrugs, “I never went on school trips, or I was so young I don’t remember. It’s weird.”

“It’ll be a new experience for you then,” Cassian encourages.

“I guess, but why do you care so much?”

(Good question.)

“We’re all in the same train wreck, we gotta stick together.”

(What was that nonsense... for sure if Kay ever heard him talk like that, he would deck him so hard his face wouldn’t be filmed for weeks!)

They take the A1 highway up North, chatting, napping, playing on phones... and yes, to Draven’s utter dismay, there are stupid songs involved at some point. Dameron started, Cassian picked up, and soon everyone was at least humming along. Perhaps because the driver couldn’t take it anymore, they stop in a rest area about midway until they reach Lille, the northern city that ends the French episode. As if the crew’s sugary consumption weren’t already high, they picked sweets again, albeit regional:

Two metal boxes, one with some minty ones called the Bêtises de Cambrai and the other containing toffee-like Babeluttes du Nord, to have a foretaste of their next local cuisine.

If they’re still alive to document it because Cassian swears he’s gonna die of hyperglycemia before they reach Amsterdam!

They have just one day left to shoot in France when they arrive in Lille two hours later, but they make it work. The city, nicknamed “the capital of Flanders” is picturesque in a different way than Paris, of course, but just as pretty. Places with fountains, houses made of red bricks and old cobbled streets, it’s nice.

As they have little time to spare — yet again — the rushes get more hectic than in Paris. It’s much less representative after all.

The people there talk pretty funny, with words even Jyn has a hard time deciphering, but all are very accommodating and helpful. A few wave at the camera and suggest a dish to try. It’s much more easygoing and Cassian relaxes pretty soon.

Not wanting to spoil any Belgian discovery by choosing a dish similar to what can be offered further North, he decides to try « a Welsh ». Like its name implies, this is not originally a French recipe but it became one of the easiest specialty to eat in Lille:

It is a sandwich composed of bread soaked with beer, cheddar cheese and mustard, covered with a slice of ham, dipped into a cream of cheddar cheese, heated in the oven in a ramekin. Not the most elaborate of the establishment they picked’ but it works perfectly with their thematic for the French episode and their lack of time.

Indeed, La Chicorée (The Chicory) is a brasserie like the one in Paris. Except it’s actually an hundred-year-old brewery, not just for the fancy name, and it’s open pretty late, until 4:30 AM. They are told it’s renowned, too, and Cassian can believe that easily.

For dessert, because apparently the mad guys around him have an insane tolerance for sugary treats, or really want him to die on the job, they have some stuffed waffles with cassonade. This version is thin, thankfully, crunchy, though the garnish of vanilla and brown sugar is most likely rich.

“I hadn’t had those in ages,” Jyn says drowsily, waiting for the Lille-Amsterdam flight a while later. “I bought some for my best friend, but I’m not sure I’ll resist the temptation for long. I’ll have to send them to him.”

“Really? How come? It’s good, but it’s not like it’s so addicting,” Cassian asks, because he still feels curious — perhaps sleepy Jyn is more inclined to share anecdotes?

“Wrong, they are addicting. I loved them as a young girl. I’ve spent some time in France over the years, but none so much as northern France. We were British, after all, so crossing the Chanel was easy and Saw... I mean, I’d known an old lady, Louise, who did such waffles for me.”

Yep, oversharing, he thinks with a smile, and there she is talking about a Saw again. More like eluding but it’s more talk than he ever heard from her. The schedule must take its toll on her, same as anyone else.

"You’ve spent holidays in France then, growing up?"

"My guardian actually had a job in France for a time. He was stationed not so very far from here for about a year, before we moved again."

"So the wanderlust goes way back? It explains why you took on the travelling show."

"Maybe. Saw and I never stuck around for long anywhere, but I've been happy there, it brings good memories for once."

At her conflicted expression, he guesses such good memories are far in between. He recalls her enigmatic whisper from a few days ago and surmises she must have had a falling out with her guardian. Cassian doesn't pry further though when she doesn't elaborate, but he stores the information for later.  

He’s almost snoozing when Draven — no human has the right to be this operative at 3AM... — hands him his phone, mouthing Kay’s name:

“Hello, Kay?”

“Cassian, did I wake you?”

“No, but that was close. Not everyone can be focused on the show 24/7, like Draven, or you. I feel like I’m slowly losing my soul to the cause.”

“Forgive me if I don’t shed a tear. And you’re as dedicated as the rest of us, you’re just being unusually whiny.”

“Well, you’re not here yet to keep me in check so I can be as petty as I want. I’ll feel better after we leave the country and get some sleep.”

“I’ve seen the first French rushes, actually, to see if they could be easily edited with ours. I have to say it’s fairly entertaining to witness your culinary struggles, Cassian. Especially the snail fetching.”

“Thanks a lot, Kay,”

“I’m serious, honestly it should make the final cut.”

“Did your illness kill your brain cells? What part of the first try should be included? The moment the snail flew across the room or the framing on my butt as I had to get on my knees under the table to retrieve it?”

“Well, I’ll leave it for Draven to decide,” his soon-to-be former friend replies wryly. “But just so you know, it could bring in more female viewers.”

“You’re insane.”

“I’m realistic Cassian, you have a very nice bottom apparently and judging from the people’s enthusiastic reaction on social media, you’d better use it.”

“I... don’t even know what to say to that. Do you even hear yourself?”

“I’m referring to the show’s ratings, not your sex life Cassian Jerón Andor! You know what, we will speak later, once you’ve put your mind out of the gutter!”

“I love you too man,” Cassian smirks.

Only the dial answers him.

[lindafrancois]

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Step #4: WHO belongs on your Squad (Support)

Real Talk: How quickly can I get in shape? (The Truth)

Four easy steps to obtain the Nerd Fitness “Triforce of Winning!”

“But Steve, ‘tri’ means three…”

…don’t worry about that, because Triforce!

Either way, you got this.

You can read our overall philosophy below (which has helped hundreds of thousands of people), and help you get started today!

Step 1: WHY Do You Want to Get In Shape? (Inspiration)

Let’s start here. WHY are you reading this guide? 

Do you want to get in shape to:

Start dating again?

Win a weight loss competition at work?

Eventually play with your newborn son?

Grow old with your significant other?

Prove everybody wrong who said “you can’t do it?”

Because you just want to look good naked?

Have a freaking reason, friend!

Write it down, hang it up in your bedroom, tattoo it on your face, write it down on a piece of paper and staple it to your forehead.

Whatever.

Just keep that reason for wanting a better life at the front of your mind at all times.

With our 1-on-1 Coaching Clients, we call this “Your Big Why.”

This reason is going to help you keep going when it’s raining or you’re tired or you had a crappy day at work and you just want to binge-watch the Office and eat takeout.

In addition to having a good reason, many people get inspired by reading success stories of folks like them.

Luckily for you, we have lots of those stories on Nerd Fitness with many more to come. These are real people who love video games and books and work desk jobs (click on each to hear their full story):

#1) LESLIE THE SINGLE MOM WHO GOT STRONG AS HELL:

#2) JIMMY THE AEROSPACE ENGINEER WHO TURNED HIMSELF INTO SPIDER-MAN:

#3) STACI WHO STARTED POWERLIFTING AND FOUND CONFIDENCE:

#4) JEFF THE DOCTOR WHO TRAVELS 2 WEEKS EVERY MONTH – HE FINALLY GOT HEALTHY:

#5) CHRISTINA WHO GREW STRONG  TO DO PULL-UPS AND BEGAN TO HIKE THE WORLD:

Maybe success stories aren’t your thing.

Completely understandable.

Instead, perhaps you like to get your inspiration from slightly nerdier articles from your favorite stories:

Indiana Jones

The Lord of the Rings

The Legend of Zelda

Hunger Games

Assassin’s Creed

Star Wars

The Matrix

Or maybe you’re a video fan! 

Well then, videos like these might make you want to run through brick walls.

#1) Here’s a video that states “When you want to succeed as bad as you want to breathe, then you’ll be successful.”

#2) Some tips from the Terminator might get you motivated too:

#3) You might shed some tears of inspiration with this one:

…like to read?

This article will make you want to start strength training today.

Why all this focus on inspiration and motivation?

Because getting in shape will never be “easy”.

The first week – while you’re excited – is fun.

It’s the rainy days and snow days and busy days at work when you DON’T want to work out that will decide whether or not you actually get in shape.

But…

Unless you can find the discipline to push through those tough days, it becomes easier than ever to give up at the first sign of resistance.

And the name of the game is “consistent adherence.”

In other words, not skipping a workout and consistently eating healthy.

Step 2: How to Eat (Nutrition)

If you want to get in shape quickly, start making slightly better food choices!

80% of your success when it comes to getting healthy will depend on your diet – unless you are running marathons on a daily basis, you cannot outrun your fork, and you can’t out-train a bad diet.

If you’re not losing weight, it’s because you’re eating too many calories!

So, if you can work on making SLIGHTLY better food choices, and filling up your plate with plenty of protein and vegetables, you’re less likely to overeat calories!

Whether you want to count calories, cut out certain foods, or attempt a new diet altogether, this is the most important step you can take:

Start here: How to Eat Healthy – yes, it’s a long read. But it covers the basics and teaches you what to eat and not to eat.

The 5 Rules of Weight Loss – This guide will help you lose weight without having to go on “yet another diet.”

“How to Lose Weight: Pick the Right Diet“ – Speaking of diets, here’s an explanation of all the popular diets and how to pick the one that’s right for you.”

Short on money? – No problem, here’s How to Eat Healthy Without Breaking the Bank. 

Now, most people can’t stick with nutritional changes because they try to make TOO many changes at once, their stomach freaks out and they run back to their comfort foods.

Sure, you can do things like the Keto Diet or Paleo Diet, but restrictive diets are really tough to stick with for the long term.

And temporary changes create temporary results! 

My advice? Pick one food change every few weeks, and stick with it.

To get in shape, you could try:

Eating fewer calories per day.

Switching to diet soda.

Eating more vegetables.

Cooking your own meal once a week.

These small changes can lead to big successes in the long run.

I know how changing your diet can be overwhelming sometimes, and sticking with changes in the long term is really tough.

It’s why we built a 10-level NF Diet that tells you exactly how to transition your diet slowly so you can lose weight the right way and transform your physique permanently!

Download our free weight loss guide

THE NERD FITNESS DIET: 10 Levels to Change Your Life

Follow our 10-level nutrition system at your own pace

What you need to know about weight loss and healthy eating

3 Simple rules we follow every day to stay on target

Step 3: What to do For exercise (Move!)

Okay, so now you should be all fired up and inspired and thinking,

“Hey Steve, this Nerd Fitness stuff is cool. I’m ready to get in shape.”

Let’s get started.

A) Pick goals that are SMART (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and timely). Be incredibly specific with your goals so that you can actively plan what steps are needed to achieve those goals:

“I’m going to lose 25 pounds this year by going to the gym 3 times per week for the next 6 months.”

That’s a good goal.

Alternatively, you could also work on a reoccurring habit that will indirectly help your goal.

EXAMPLE: “I’m going to walk to Mordor by walking a mile every day for a month. If I go for a walk, I win.”

This allows you to review your day/week with a simple question: “Did I do what I set out to do?”

Whichever method you decide, it’s important to be deliberate in your actions:

If you are setting goals – be SUPER SPECIFIC, write them down, and plan them out.

If you are building new habits – add them to your calendar, set phone alarms or alerts, and do them EVERY DAY.

Understand that Rome wasn’t built in a day, and Optimus Prime didn’t transform in one move. This is NOT a diet, or a quick fix, but a LIFESTYLE CHANGE. Don’t expect results overnight, or abs in two weeks. Slow, steady progress.

Next, we need to…

B) Identify your Kryptonite.

Think back to the last time(s) you tried to get in shape and lose weight.

How successful were you?

How long did you stick with it?

What made you fall off the wagon?

If you failed, congratulations!

You already know which “get in shape” method doesn’t work for you.

It’s simply the wrong piece of the puzzle you’re trying to solve.

They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

So unless you enjoy not getting results, don’t try to get in shape the same way you did last time…it AIN’T gonna work!

If you counted calories, ran on a treadmill, and did kickboxing and you’re not happy with the results, it’s time to try something new.

Ask yourself:

Did work got busy or you went on vacation?

Was it because you actually hated exercising?

Whatever it was, you need to pick a different strategy this time.

C) Find an activity that makes you happy, and do it all of the time.

Do you like to run? Awesome, do that (just do it right).

Do you like to lift weights? Awesome, make sure your workouts don’t suck.

Maybe you like yoga, or dodgeball, or Ultimate Frisbee, or rock climbing, or whatever!

If you tell me that “I don’t like to exercise,” then you just haven’t found the activity that makes you happy yet.

Here are 40 Ways to Exercise Without Realizing It.

We’re genetically designed to be active, so find something you enjoy doing.

So if you “don’t like exercise,” it’s time to try new things until you find something that you DO like.

Sign up for a new class, join your company’s running club for a day, try out something in your basement or living room, just keep trying new stuff until you find something that you like.

And then do it as often as you can. As long as you’re consistently under your daily caloric energy expenditure, you will lose weight.

D) Supercharge your results and build a great physique.

And last but not least, learn how to get strong.

Getting stronger is one of the BEST things you can do to lose weight and get in shape.

Your body processes calories differently when you are strength training compared to other forms of exercise.

Coach Matt explains this in our video for body recomposition:

If you want more here, check out Losing Fat and Gaining Muscle (at the Same Time).

A quick explanation:

Your body needs to burn extra calories to rebuild all the muscles you just worked out during a strength training workout.

Therefore, there will be fewer calories to go around to store as fat!

This leads to lower body fat percentage and tighter muscles.

WIN WIN WIN!

My Advice: don’t overcomplicate things.

Here is a basic beginner bodyweight workout today that you can do in your own home too:

Here are 7 more Home Workouts for you to wet your whistle with.

Oh, what’s that? You enjoy working out in a gym?

Great! Here are 6 Beginner Gym Workouts you can start today.

And if you need even more examples, here are 15 Circuit Training Workout Routines to follow too! 

To recap, here’s how to start getting in shape today:

Determine your goals or habits you want to establish.

Determine why your previous attempts didn’t work.

Pick a fun exercise that makes you happy, and do it. A lot.

Get stronger than you were yesterday.

If you’re overwhelmed at the very idea of how to get in shape, I hear ya. 

From bootcamps to “What is CrossFit” to Weight Watchers to paleo to vegan to Klingon, how are you supposed to make sense of all this information to find the right path?

The truth is that there is no ONE path that works for everybody.

So, if you want a coach to build a workout program and diet plan that’s specific to YOUR unique situation, check out our 1-on-1 Online Coaching Program.

Step 4: Who is On Your Squad? (Support)

Last but not least, you need support.

Yes, I understand it’s kind of fun to be an army of one: the lone ranger trying to succeed against insurmountable odds….but it’s not necessary.

Once you decide to get in shape, want to know the best way to guarantee success? 

Here are 5 ways to find support while getting in shape:

#1) Consider making it public.

Tell your friends, start a blog, and/or inform your co-workers and ask them to keep you accountable!

Unless you like being called a quitter, you’ll probably think twice about skipping out on your workouts.

Maybe your word isn’t your bond, and you need a different kind of motivation and support to succeed.

#2) Put your money where your mouth is.

My buddy Saint said he would pay his friends $500 if he didn’t get in absolutely incredible shape for his wedding six months down the road.

Saint didn’t have $500 to lose, so he decided instead to just get in great shape…and it worked.

#3) Build your own Jedi Council.

Find people who are:

Stronger than you and work out with them.

Faster than you and run with them.

More educated than you and ask them questions.

There could even be a droid out there you’re looking for…

These are people that you can turn to when you need advice or help. If you don’t know anybody in real life, keep reading…

#4) Find a workout buddy, hire a trainer, or hire a coach!

There are going to be days when you want to sleep in and skip your workout. There will be afternoons following a crappy day of work where all you want to do is play Halo.

Find somebody who’s at a similar level of fitness as you, and work out with them!

He/she will push you on days when you’re dragging, and vice versa.

You can inspire and support each other, feed off of each other’s success, and offer up tough love when the complaining gets too much (and yes, there will be complaining).

Now, let’s say you’re the ONE person in your group of friends that wants to get in shape.

Or you’re the only person in your office who doesn’t stuff his face every day. Maybe you don’t have anybody to turn to for support or advice…

Welp, we’ve got you covered: 

The Nerd Fitness community – a persistently amazing, always inspiring, never judgmental group of people who want nothing more than to help you succeed.

I have never been more excited and proud to be part of a community.

Or if you want to take it to the next level…

#5) Join our coaching program: If you like the cut of our jib, consider hiring one of our nerdy trainers to keep you accountable and answer any questions you have.

I’ve been working with an online trainer for 4+ years now and it’s the best money I spend each month.

Work with an online personal trainer and get results that actually last. Learn more:

Real Talk: How Quickly can I get in Shape? How Fast Can I lose Weight?

Today is the first day of the rest of your life.

Pick a goal that you hope to accomplish in the next 30 days and then start working towards it.

Keep it simple but specific, and get started today.

But I know your next question:

“How fast can I get in shape, Steve?” 

We have a full article right here answering that question, but I’ll give you the short honest answer here:

You can expect to lose around 1-2 pounds per week safely if you start reducing your calorie intake (80% of the equation) and moving more (20% of the equation).

I know there are absurd diets like the Military Diet that says “Lose 10 pounds in 7 days!” But don’t believe it.

Temporary changes create temporary results! 

And our goal is for you to be slightly healthier today than you were yesterday.

And then healthier and happier next year compared to this year.

It means you should be thinking in terms of Years and Days, not weeks and months:

Instead of asking “How quickly can I lose weight?” instead ask “What do I need to do to build the right habits NOW so they become automatic LATER?”

Do a few push-ups.

Go for a walk.

Eat a vegetable.

Join the Rebellion – start fixing your nutrition with small changes today.

If you just finished reading these 2,500 words and you’re still overwhelmed, you’re not alone! 

This stuff overwhelms the best of us. If you are looking for a bit more hands-on instruction, or you really want the peace of mind knowing that you’re doing the correct program, I got ya!

We have three options that have both helped thousands upon thousands of people like you get started:

#1) Most involved: Our 1-on-1 coaching program where a NF coach will get to learn your situation, your lifestyle, and your experience, and then build a workout program and nutritional strategy that fits into your busy life.

We get to know you better than you know yourself, and we’ve got the results to prove it! Consider checking out our coaching program if you’re looking for that next level of expert guidance and accountability.

Our coaching program is like having Yoda in your pocket (not literally). Learn more:

#2) Go-At-Your-Own-Pace, Do It Yourself: Nerd Fitness Journey. This is our app that allows you to get in shape while building your own superhero..

Tons of bodyweight workout plans (no gym required), a nutritional program that won’t make any scary changes, video demonstrations exercises, boss battles, daily wins, and group challenges!

Oh, and you’ll earn XP and receive loot the whole time.

Sign up for your free trial right here:

And don’t forget to…

#3) Join the Rebellion! We need good people like you in our community, the Nerd Fitness Rebellion. You’ll meet individuals who are attempting to get in shape the 1st time or the 50th time, all who want to better themselves alongside of you. 

Sign up in the box below to enlist and get our Rebel Starter Kit, which includes all of our “work out at home” guides, the Nerd Fitness Diet Cheat Sheet, and much more!

Get your Nerd Fitness Starter Kit

The 15 mistakes you don’t want to make.

Full guide to the most effective diet and why it works.

Complete and track your first workout today, no gym required.

Big things come from small beginnings, so pick the tiniest change or action you can take to get started, and then repeat that every day.

As you start to build the habit, you can increase the ‘difficulty’ and try something a bit more challenging, but it all starts with habit building.

Educate yourself, find your inspiration, and create your support group. 

Welcome to the Rebellion.

Any questions?

-Steve

###

Day 346, Lunar School Bus, Not All Heroes Wear Capes, Family Portrait, Mountain Biker

The post Blog first appeared on Nerd Fitness.

How to Get in Shape Quickly and Safely: 4-Step Beginner Guide published first on https://dietariouspage.tumblr.com/

[shirleyoconnell]

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