#kazuki: why didn't you tell me!?

[marcirose]

Self-indulgent Buddy Daddies omegaverse idea thanks to Kazuki's delusional ass we love him tho where Rei is a late-bloomer alpha who has his first rut kick-started by one of Kazuki's stronger heats and he's confused as fuck cause he thought he was a beta this whole time

[bokutosbabe]

Daylight

( bllk boys as dads )

a / n — please i love these men a little too much. PREPARE TO BE SICK OF ME

content — aged up! characters, bllk characters x reader, fluff, children mentioned(obviously), character and reader are married, had randomized names given to me for the kids, went crazy with bachira- he's just so girl dad coded, let's act like the WC didnt FUCK kunigami up, idk what happened with the format on kunigamis sorry, isagi yoichi x reader, bachira meguru x reader , rensuke kunigami x reader

synopsis — just a few of the blue lock boys as dads :,)

✿.｡. “ and i can still see it all in my mind , ” .｡.✿

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ ISAGI YOICHI

— have yall seen this mans dad? literally so supportive

— is at every single sporting event no matter what!

— has embarrassed both you and your son on many occasions

— doesn't understand this is a LITTLE LEAGUE soccer game

you didn't understand why children's soccer games had to be played in the middle of summer at the hottest time imaginable. while you were silently suffering from the heat, your husband was far too into the game going on. "Come on, Kazuki! Get in there!" Isagi's voice boomed across the field, startling some of the other parents. Your cheeks flushed with a mix of pride and embarrassment as you gave him a gentle nudge. "Yoichi, they're just kids," you whispered, trying to temper his competitive spirit. "Let them have fun." every game day was like this. isagi would get so intense over kazuki, who was spectacular for his age, that he would forget where he was for a bit. there were literally other kids sitting down and picking flowers, it was never as serious as your pro soccer player husband believed. Kazuki, his eyes shining with determination, managed to dribble past an opponent and take a shot at the goal. The ball soared through the air and... missed. Isagi groaned loudly, drawing curious and amused glances from the other parents. "Come on, Kazuki! You can do better than that!" Isagi yelled, his fists clenched. You placed a hand on his arm, giving him a warning look. "Yoichi, relax. He's trying his best." with that, the game was over. kazuki's team had still won 3-2, but you could tell that your son was disappointed in himself over the last shot. Kazuki ran over to you both, his face flushed with something that looked like embarrassment and shame. "You did great, Kazuki!" you said, kneeling down to hug him. "We're so proud of you." Isagi crouched beside you, ruffling Kazuki's hair. "You were awesome out there, buddy. I just got a little carried away. Sorry if I embarrassed you." maybe isagi got a little too into the games, but he always apologized after, it had become somewhat of a ritual at this point. " it's fine! did you see my super cool dribbling? uncle bachira taught me!!" yeah, your husband's enthusiasm got the better of him sometimes, but if there was one thing you knew for certain: kazuki couldn't be prouder of his dad and isagi couldn't be prouder of kazuki.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ BACHIRA MEGURU

— girl dad, girl dad, GIRL FREAKING DAD

— constantly doing your daughters hair

— you come home from work to find the both of them with butterfly clips in their hair at least 3 days out of the week

You pushed open the front door, feeling the weight of the day’s stress clinging to your shoulders. It had been one of those days at work where everything seemed to go wrong, and all you wanted was to collapse on the couch and forget about it all. As you stepped into the living room, you were greeted by a heartwarming sight that instantly began to melt away the tension that you'd felt in your shoulders. There, sprawled out on the floor, were Bachira and your daughter, Sora, both fast asleep. The room was a delightful mess of colored markers, sketchbooks, and an array of hair accessories scattered around them. You couldn't help but smile at the sight of Bachira with his hair adorned in a myriad of butterfly clips and sparkly barrettes, clearly the result of a spirited father-daughter play session. Sora’s hair was similarly decorated, her small hand still clutching a purple clip. Carefully, you tiptoed closer, trying not to disturb their peaceful slumber. As you knelt beside them, you noticed the soft rise and fall of their chests, their expressions serene and content. You reached out to gently remove a clip from Bachira’s hair. making precautions so it wouldn't get tangled in, but as you did, his eyes fluttered open. He blinked up at you, a sleepy but mischievous smile spreading across his face. “Hey there,” he whispered, his face adorning his usual childish grin. “Rough day?” You nodded, feeling a lump form in your throat. “Yeah, but seeing you two like this makes it so much better.” Bachira sat up slowly, careful not to wake Sora. He pulled you into a gentle hug, his warmth and the familiar scent of him providing a comforting balm to your frazzled nerves. “We had a lot of fun,” he murmured into your hair. “Sora wanted to have a ‘beauty salon’ day. I think I’m her favorite customer.” Sora stirred beside you, her eyes slowly opening. She blinked sleepily at you both, then broke into a wide smile. “Mommy, you’re home! Look at Daddy’s hair! I made him so pretty!” You leaned down to kiss her forehead. “You did an amazing job, sweetheart. I love it.” Sora giggled, sitting up and wrapping her small arms around your neck. “Can we do your hair next, Mommy?” You laughed, feeling the last of the day’s stress melt away completely. “Absolutely. But first, how about we clean up a little and get some dinner?” In that moment, surrounded by the people you loved most, you knew that no matter how stressful the days could be, you would always have this beautiful, chaotic sanctuary to come home to.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ RENSUKE KUNIGAMI

— has always wanted to be a hero

— having his son made that dream become a reality

— will be playing in his pro games and points to the family section you and your son are sitting in

— plays his heart out for you two

The stadium was buzzing with excitement as fans filled the stands, the atmosphere electric with anticipation. You held your son's hand tightly as you made your way to the family section, both of you decked out in Kunigami's team colors. Your son, Haru, was practically bouncing with excitement, his eyes wide as he took in the sight of the massive stadium.

"Mom, look! There’s Dad!" Haru pointed eagerly towards the field, where Kunigami was warming up with his teammates. His hero, his dad, looked every bit the powerful and determined athlete he admired so much.

You smiled, giving Haru's hand a gentle squeeze. "Yes, there he is. Are you excited to watch him play?" Haru nodded vigorously, his face lit up with joy. "He's gonna score a goal today, I just know it!"

As the game began, you settled into your seats, Haru practically on the edge of his. The first half was intense, with both teams displaying incredible skill and determination. Kunigami was in top form, his presence on the field commanding and inspiring.

Then, in the second half, the moment you and Haru had been waiting for arrived. Kunigami received the ball, skillfully maneuvering past the defenders with a combination of strength and finesse. The crowd’s roar grew louder with each step he took towards the goal.

"Go, Dad! You can do it!" Haru shouted, his voice full of unbridled enthusiasm. Kunigami glanced towards the family section for just a moment, his eyes locking onto yours and Haru’s. You could see the fire and determination in his gaze, the unspoken promise he made to his son to always be his hero.

With a powerful kick, Kunigami sent the ball soaring past the goalkeeper and into the net. The stadium erupted in cheers, the sound nearly deafening. Kunigami's teammates rushed to him, celebrating the goal, but his eyes were fixed on you and Haru.

He pointed directly at you both, his expression a mixture of pride and love. You could almost hear the words in your mind: “This is for you. Your hero is here.”

Haru was beside himself with excitement, jumping up and down, waving his arms wildly. "Mom, did you see that? Dad scored! He did it!" You pulled Haru into a tight hug, tears of joy welling up in your eyes. "Yes, sweetheart, he did. Your dad is amazing."

As the game continued, Kunigami played with renewed vigor, his goal having given his team the boost they needed. When the final whistle blew, signaling their victory, the crowd’s cheers echoed around the stadium.

After the game, you and Haru were escorted down to the field to meet Kunigami. Haru ran ahead, throwing himself into his father’s arms.

"Dad, you were awesome! Just like a superhero!" Kunigami laughed, lifting Haru high into the air before bringing him back down for a tight hug. "Thanks, buddy. I told you I'd score a goal for you."

✿.｡. “ all of you, all of me, intertwined ” .｡.✿

likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated!

i may write more parts for this, i really liked it!

[the-music-maniac]

Yeah, something about Misaki crying and saying sorry for leaving Miri alone when Miri was telling her how much she loved Papa Rei and Papa Kazuki rubbed me the wrong way.

It's like she wasn't actually listening to a word Miri was saying. Her response to Miri telling her that Rei and Kazuki ARE her papas, and that she loved them was "I'm sorry I made you feel so lonely. But don't worry, I'm going to change."

Nowhere in her rambling did Miri say she was lonely. Nowhere did she imply it either.

It's as if Misaki thinks Miri only cared for Rei and Kazuki because she was lonely due to the fact that Misaki wasn't there. As if Rei and Kazuki were just placeholders for an "actual" family. A placeholder for Miri's "actual" parents. And it's implied by Misaki that it's her. Why? Cause she's related to Miri by blood, and Kazuki and Rei are not, of course. Those two aren't your real papas, she says, even though they raised you for an entire year, took responsibility when I tossed you away.

It did make me mad, I'm not going to lie. Beyond the fact that this is such a common fucking thing for unconventional families to hear - oh you're not real family, you don't share genetics, or a real family needs a mother and father, etc. Etc.-

Kazuki and Rei acted more caring then Misaki had for a majority of the show. And she just. Doesn't seem to see past her own little world to realize that parenthood is not about just blood, nor realize that Miri doesn't want two separate families, she wants everyone she loves together.

I appreciated that she was trying to change for Miri. It shows that she's human, and I'm very glad PA works didn't demonize her. She's an interesting and nuanced character. But this episode didn't make me like her any more. I didn't hate her, even from the beginning I didn't hate her. But I don't like her either.

She still had a long way to go before she could count herself as a good parent. I know people are pissed that they killed her off, but it made sense to me. Because the amount of development she still needs to undergo far outstrips the limited amount of episodes this show has. And the thing is, the show isn't about her. It's about the buddy daddies. The alternative is Miri watching her die of cancer. What were y'all expecting.

[gabriel-xander]

I Wish You Died Instead Ch. 2

[Scaramouche x Fem!Reader]

A/N: I started writing this before all of his lore came out/Before the last Sumeru Archon quest, so there will be a handful of inconsistency later on. My advice to you? Just go with it!

{Also on Quotev, Ao3, and Wattpad under Gabriel Xander}

Chapter 2: You Get Slapped Twice

You sigh quietly when you knock against Scaramouche's office door.

The other Fatui agents had looked at you with some sort of judgement when you entered the building with Kazuki. You always made the effort to separate yourself from everyone else, so your reputation with the others was pretty shit. It's not like you were hated (hopefully), but they probably wouldn't go out of their way to save your ass if they saw you getting attacked.

That being said, they were all openly praying for you when you made your way to Scaramouche's office. Kazuki even hugged you before you left??

"I didn't tell you right away because I wanted to spend one last moment with you," Kazuki had told you, "Out of everyone I have ever met, I've always hated you the least."

You're gonna die for sure. <3

Scaramouche's voice snaps from the other side: "What."

That was the cue and permission to enter. Just his special way of showing he cares or whatever. You open the door and step inside, immediately feeling the overwhelming presence of the Balladeer. You close the door behind yourself, getting on your right knee to show false respect towards the Harbinger.

"My Lord, you wanted to see me?"

You kept your voice flat and bored, your expression was half hidden by your mask, though it was for naught as your face is devoid of emotion.

"Where were you during the meeting?" Scaramouche asks, not looking up from whatever paperwork he was completing.

"Reviewing the reports from my last deployment," You keep your response short, as you learned that Scaramouche hated the chatty ones, "I apologize for my absence."

"Did something go wrong?"

Why does he care?

"..."

You open your mouth but quickly close it again.

He doesn't care, he probably asked just to tell you to shut up. You see him do that with other agents, and you're not feeling like you're up for his sass.

"Whatever, I don't really care," Scaramouche sighs, "Start packing your bags, we're going to Liyue tomorrow morning with Tartaglia."

"Fuck."

"What was that?"

Ah shit. You didn't mean to say that out loud. The air is tense, there's no going back now. You're going to regret this opening your stupid mouth.

"With all due respect, My Lord-"

You wince when you hear Scaramouche push the chair back to stand up. He's walking towards you.

"-This is a sudden decision and a departure to a nation across Teyvat requires more planning. Not only that, my recent report-"

SMACK!

Your cheek burns from the aftermath, and you thank your luck for not falling over from that painful, backhanded slap. You bite your tongue to stop yourself from yelling in anger, and you dig your fingers into your palm so you don't slap him back.

This is exactly why you never fucking talk to Scaramouche.

"Get ready for tomorrow, [L/n]," Scaramouche smirks sadistically, "I'd hate to kill you so soon. You're the most tolerable second in command I've had so far."

You don't respond, not because you know to stay quiet, but because you don't want to waste your breath for someone like him. You stand up and keep your head low, stuffing your hands into your pockets to hide that your fists are shaking with aggression.

"Yes, My Lord. Is there anything else?" You ask quietly.

"Hm... yeah. Now that you mention it, I was going to do it myself, but since you're here..." Scaramouche walks to his desk to grab a few papers, "Do you know where Tartaglia is?"

You furrow your brows, "Yes, My Lord. He's-"

"-Just take these to him and tell him the plans for the departure," Scaramouche basically thrusts the papers at you, so you had no choice but to get them, "Can you handle that?"

Motherfucker is mocking you.

"Yes, sir," You bite back, "Would you like a coffee with that order?"

"Watch your tongue."

You look down at the papers and frown. You've only spoken to Tartaglia that one time, and you're honestly praying he won't recognize you. He might want to fight you or something.

You bow slightly before leaving the office, jogging down the halls to find the ginger bread man. Scaramouche rolls his eyes at your departure, heading back to his desk to complete the paperwork.

He doesn't like how simultaneously expressive and monotonous you are. You have so much fighting spirit, but your delivery is so dry. It's most definitely a front you display in front of him since you know how to behave. But Scaramouche wishes you can hide that true part of yourself better.

...

He doesn't know why.

——

You lean your back against the wall, watching Tartaglia beat the living shit out of his subordinates in the largest training room. That included Kazuki, so it was amusing to see his cocky ass get ate.

The Zapolyarny Palace was home to many Harbingers and Fatui agents. While there were a few from each group that had their own homes out of the palace they lived in, you unfortunately lived with the majority in the damn palace.

Sure, staying in the same building with the Tsaritsa was epic and all, but... you're not a die-hard worshiper like most people. In fact, you don't really have a favorite Archon. You thought Barbatos was pretty nifty, but that's about it.

Joining the Fatui wasn't to devote yourself to the Tsaritsa and her mysterious plans. You joined because you're curious about the truth behind Khae-

"[L/n]?"

You're brought back when Kazuki calls out to you. Poor Kazuki was laying on the floor and panting with exhaustion. Tartaglia was standing above him victoriously, a sadistic smile plastered his face.

"Kazuki," You nod in acknowledgement, both of you keeping it strictly professional when you're around others.

Tartaglia looks at you and widens his eyes a bit: "[L/n]? Oh, I remember you!"

Ah shit.

"Lord Tartaglia," You bow deeply, "it's a pleasure."

"Hey, didn't I tell you to call me Childe?" The Harbinger chuckles as he steps over Kazuki towards you.

"Oh, yes. Apologies, Lord Childe."

"No, just... ah, we'll work on it," The ginger sighs, "Did you come for your friend here? Or did you finally miss me enough to come find me?"

You see Kazuki in your peripheral vision pinch the bridge of his nose in exasperation. You almost do the same.

"Oh, how did you know?" You reply humorlessly, showing Childe the papers, "Actually, Lord Scaramouche made me his messenger girl. He wanted me to inform you that his branch will be departing to Liyue with you tomorrow morning. And he wanted me to give you these."

Childe raises a brow as he takes them. You see his eyes move side to side as he quickly reads through the first paper.

"Hm... Well, me and my subordinates were actually supposed to take this ship to Liyue for some business as well. It seems Scaramouche wants to preserve resources and have us both leave tomorrow." Childe summarizes for you.

Which he really didn't need to. Maybe he's just being friendly so you can drop your guard just so he can find a weakness and exploit it.

He then frowns, "That's way too soon for a spontaneous trip. The ship won't have room for all of us if Scaramouche plans on bringing all his subordinates."

You simply stand there with your hands behind your back, listening to Childe's woes quietly. Not that the gossip will help you, but you can never be too careful about observing people for later references.

"What do you think, Wakus Bonkus [L/n]?"

You frown, not understanding why your opinion matters for this.

"I-"

"Ooh! You naughty, Wankus Bonkus!"

"-Actually! Come with me, won't you, [L/n]?" Childe starts walking out of room, "You too, Kuzashi!"

"It's Kazuki," The male in question sighs quietly as he pushes himself to stand.

You wait for your comrade before you two leave the room, quickly trailing after the Harbinger who took long strides.

"You're alive," Kazuki says with wonder.

"No shit, Sherlock," You scoff out a laugh, "Wait, no!"

You skip ahead to walk in front of Kazuki, walking backwards so you can face him.

"Kazuki~! Kazuki~~!" You sing in a low and "spooky" tone, "This is the ghost of [L/n]~! I've come back with a warning~!"

The brunette rolls his eyes, though you couldn't see thanks to his mask. You snicker quietly and spin around to walk normally.

"Lord Scaramouche just wanted to yell at someone, honestly," You said, "He wanted to tell me about the departure to Liyue for tomorrow morning. Apparently, he also wanted us to tag along with Lord Tartaglia and his subordinates. Something about saving the resources?"

"What? But... You guys can't leave Snezhnaya yet. Your recent report about-"

"-Yeah, I tried telling him that but he fucking pimp slapped me into the next nation."

You're pretty sure you heard Childe snort.

"...Are you okay?"

"What, are you worried about me? Don't be getting soft on me, Kazuki."

"Well, fuck you too, then."

"Charming." You tense up suddenly when Childe stops in front of Scaramouche's office, "Lord Childe, why are we here?"

Childe knocks on the door twice before opening it, "I'm coming in, Scaramouche."

God dammit, Childe.

You wait until Childe enters the office before you silently throw a tantrum and stomp towards the office. Kazuki was watching that happen with deep understanding in his eyes.

"What do you want?" You hear Scaramouche spit out before you enter the office with Kazuki.

You almost wave awkwardly when Scaramouche looks at you with, what you believe is to be, disgust. The Balladeer pushes his chair back and marches around the table and towards you. You honestly expect him to beat you up right then and there.

"Did you bring him?"

"What is this about your trip to Liyue tomorrow?" Childe interrupts with a frown, "This is too soon for your departure, especially with the amount of people that will be coming."

Scaramouche frowns, "Deal with it. I have no other business to attend to here, so I might as well head to what concerns me next. The next ship heading to Liyue doesn't arrive until next month, I'm not waiting that long."

You feel Kazuki's eyes on you, you had to bite your tongue to not speak up. Unfortunately, the Archons have chosen you to be their silliest clown for today.

"And you, [L/n]?" Childe crosses his arms as he turns to look at you with expectancy, "What is your opinion on this?"

...

Wat?

You widen your eyes from behind your mask and shake your head, instinctively taking a step back when you see Scaramouche get closer in your peripheral vision.

"Oh, I—don't-my opinion isn't-"

"-No, tell me, [L/n]." Scaramouche was suddenly standing in front of you, causing you to flinch, "You clearly have something to say. Then say it."

Childe is literally dead to you now. If you weren't a subordinate, you would've given Childe a look that read exactly as "I fucking hate you".

"Well... Two months ago I received an "anonymous tip" from a Fatui agent who received that tip from a civilian somewhere in Snezhnaya," You made air quotes when needed, then placed your hands on you hips, "Apparently, a Treasure Hoarder group had ambushed some Fatui and stole not only their equipment, but also the Visions from those who had it."

Scaramouche frowns, "Yeah, I remember that. I sent you out to deal with it."

You nod, "Right. The Treasure Hoarders were dealt with, but we lost a handful of men and their entire beings disappeared. However, those Treasure Hoarders were no doubt killed."

You had made the order for their execution, but you didn't stick around to see the monstrosity you made your soldiers become. You couldn't handle it.

"So, what's the issue?"

"Two days ago, when it was my day off, I got um..." You furrow your eyebrows to think, "I guess ambushed is the correct term, but I wasn't in danger. Anyway, I got a surprise visit from a random civilian. She told me that she was the one who sent that anonymous tip from before. But she had actually deceived us at that time."

Kazuki crosses his arms, "And how did she recognize you?"

"Her son was one of my subordinates, and he was the one who gave me that tip in the first place. He gave a detailed description of my appearance to her just so she could come find me."

"What happened next?" Childe asks with a serious expression.

"Well, two months ago, she and her son, Isaac, were beaten near death by several groups of Treasure Hoarders. They took Isaac hostage and stole his Vision, then they threatened to kill his mother if Issac didn't agree to cooperate and become a supplier. So, Isaac led a group of agents to a false camp site to get ambushed. And that was the version of events we were exposed to."

You had kept your voice monotonous the entirety of your explanation, not wanting Scaramouche to have a reason for calling you emotional or whatever. Either way, it just comes naturally to you when talking to the Harbingers.

"But I guess those agents we thought were dead, are actually still alive and are part of the Treasure Hoarders. They've been using their Visions and equipment to replicate the technology, armor, and weapons. Isaac is probably dead, but it's for sure known that he at least stopped cooperating with them. I haven't heard from his mother since two days ago."

You hold your hands behind your back, waiting in the tense silence for what the Harbingers might say.

"[L/n]..."

SMACK!!

You could barely see the hand coming towards you, the next thing you knew, you were on the floor with no doubt a bright handprint burning your right cheek. Your mask had flown off from the force, causing it to slide against the floor and out of your reach.

This motherfucker slapped you.

Again.

You...

Really hate Scaramouche so fucking much.

Kazuki takes a step towards you in concern, but he remembers where he is and stops. Folding his arms behind himself to preserve his image, Kazuki looks away, opting to just look at your mask.

"Scaramouche-"

"-I deal with my subordinates however I see fit, Tartaglia," The Balladeer says coldly, cutting off the ginger, "I'm staying in Snezhnaya after all. It seems I haven business to take care of."

You can taste your blood pooling in your mouth from how hard and suddenly you bit your tongue. You keep your head down and stay where you are, knowing that behaving like this will make him happy about "making you submit".

"Our business seems to be done now, correct?" Scaramouche starts walking to his desk, "Leave. All of you. I'm getting tired of looking at you."

Well, Childe didn't want to keep looking at Scaramouche either! He grabs your mask and leaves the room without another word. Kazuki was quick to follow while you were just getting up from the floor.

"Come back tomorrow morning after Tartaglia is to depart," Scaramouche says, "You don't want me to be the one to seek you out first."

"Yes, My Lord," You mutter quietly to keep your lips as closed as you could to stop the blood from seeping out.

And with that, you leave his office for the 2nd time that day with a bruise already coloring your face. You close the door behind yourself and immediately turn your head to the side to spit out a surprising amount of blood.

Gross.

You hear Childe telling Kazuki some orders, but you were more focused on spitting out the metallic liquid to actually pay attention to what was said. When you hear a pair of footsteps grow distant, you assume Childe has left you alone. You pull down your sleeve and wipe at your mouth to rid of any red that may have stained your lips.

"Here," Childe's gloved hand (even though the glove looked like it was halfway on) holds out your mask to you, "Is... Scaramouche always like that?"

Childe's eyebrows were furrowed together, a small frown etching his lips. You can't help but notice that his two red earrings compliment his blue eyes. You've always acknowledged that Childe looks pretty, but it was more of a physical thing. His personality is starting to shine through in making him more attractive.

You smile softly, "Thank you... And yes. But you learn to tune it out... Or so I've been told by an apparent liar."

Childe chuckles, "I didn't mean to get you in trouble like that. But also, you did save me from an unpleasant trip with him, so I guess I owe you one."

"No, there's no need," You don't bother putting your mask back, "You're the reason why I was able to get a word in at all. So, I should be thanking you, Lord Childe."

He shakes his head: "Just Childe."

"Lord Childe."

"Childe."

"Master Childe?"

"Childe."

"Sir Childe?"

"..."

"Childe, sir?" You couldn't help the grin, "Mr. Man Childe Sir?"

The blue eyed male rolls his eyes with a grin matching yours, "Alright, alright, wise guy. You should get some rest now, no doubt your boss will run you ragged tomorrow."

"Yeah, I know," You sigh and begin to bow, "Have a g-"

"-You don't need to do that," Childe pats your arm to get you to stand up right, "We're more like casual friends, don't you think? Relax a little."

Uh-

"O-Okay," You smile nervously, your habits yelling at you to stop being so expressive with a Harbinger, "Have a good night, Lor-erm, Childe."

"Good night, girlie."

[himawarijjk]

I had so much left to say. . . (OC x Suguru Geto)

"I had so much left to say . . ." Himawari whispered.

In her pale hands, she held a photo. This photo was old. . . 10 years. Still, the memories the photo held felt as though they had just occured yesterday. Suguru Geto, her ex-boyfriend, stood before their old school, Jujutsu High. He was in the process of tying back his hair. He wasn't paying attention in the candid photo, which is what had prompted Himawari to take the picture to begin with. At the side was two fingers making a peace sign. Satoru. She remembered being so cross with him that day, she even yelled. "You ruined the photo!" she remembered saying. Now, it was something she treasured dearly.

She had fallen in love with Suguru so quickly. He just had this amazing aura. He was so kind to her. . . so interested in what she had to say. She returned that feeling. When he spoke, she would sit and listen - careful not to cut across him. His voice, his face, the way his shoulders would shake when he laughed, the creases under his eyes. . . she noticed everything.

Then, everything changed. Suguru turned against Jujutsu society. . . which meant, he was also turning against Himawari. She did not want to betray those she loved. . .so she had to make the ultimate sacrifice. He sought her out. He showed up at her apartment she shared with her brother, Yuuji. He begged her to go with him. "Come with me," he said -- and the offer was initially tempting, until she realised everything in him had changed. He was no longer the man she fell in love with.

"Together, we can destroy those monkeys!" The tired look in his eyes, now emotionless and dead. She was incapable of finding her breath in that moment, realising he was too far gone. The words she was going to say -- they never left her mouth that day. Instead, she cried. Clutching onto him, pulling at his clothing, trying to beat some sense into him by smacking his chest. "Please, wake up, Suguru!" she remembered crying, tears blurring her eyes, "I can't take it! You're breaking my heart!" He stood there, taking her assaults without flinching, when suddenly, he grabbed her wrist.

"If you're not coming with me, Himawari, then you're an enemy."

Those words cut like a knife through her chest, completely slashing her already bleeding heart. She stumbled backwards, falling into the nearby wall. He stepped over her to leave. Her hand found its way to her stomach. . . where what was left of her Suguru was growing inside. She was only seventeen. How was she going to cope?

-- and yet, somehow she did. All thanks to Satoru Gojo. The man who stepped up to be a father to a child he didn't make.

A few droplets of tears fell, landing on the photo. "I wanted to tell you we could be a family," she spoke, her voice trembling, "that I could take all your pain away. That. . .despite our youth, we could make it. Together."

She sighed sadly, "Suguru. . . why did you have to change? Why did you have to leave me? Your actions led to your best friend having to end your life yesterday, and now. . . your son will never know his father."

She concentrated on his face, his features. She hadn't seen him in so long, and now she would never have the chance to. "I would have married you." Her concentration was cut short by a knock on her bedroom door. "Mama!" her now 10-year-old son Kazuki called from beyond the door, "Papa Satoru is here!" "Just a minute!" she replied, placing the photo back in her wardrobe. She could never allow her son to see it. Just before she closed the wardrobe, she wiped her eyes with her jumper sleeve, then took one last look. . . at least for another year.

"I loved you more than anything, Suguru," she said softly, closing her eyes. She could feel his arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer to him. His scent, both natural and his aftershave mixed together. His head rested on hers, his eyes closed with a wide smile on his lips. She insticively reached down, as if she were placing her hands over his. She let out a content sigh. "I love you, Suguru." "I love you too, Sunflower," she could almost hear him reply.

One final tear rolled down her left cheek, over her lips, dribbling down her chin. "Oh, Suguru. . . you have no idea how happy I am that. . . he has your eyes."

[having-conniptions]

Let me scream about Buddy Daddies Ep 8 for a minute

"Your home is here" "True" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Rei being like "leave Kazuki out of this"

THE PARALLELS AAAAA REI'S OLD MENTOR LEAVING THE ORGANIZATION AND REI GOING THROUGH HIS FILE AND IMMEDIATELY UNDERSTANDING WHY AND THEN BEING SHOCKED AT THE PIC OF THE DEAD WIFE no one can tell me he wasn't thinking about Kazuki in that moment THE QUEERCODING OF IT ALL

Miri wanting to make Rei smile *cries*

"I also have someone I want to protect" *CRIES*

KAZUKI PICKING REI UP WAS SO IMPORTANT

"You didn't mean anything to me... but then you started cleaning" as in not just cleaning up his apartment but his life, his heart, his soul AAAAA *CRIES HARDER*

So many heartfelt moments in this episode, so much emotional damage but also so much healing

REI SMILING LIKE THAT AAAAA

Not Kyu-chan being tasked with finding out more about Kazuki and Miri PLEASE NO

I can smell the angst it's coming

Okay enough screaming... I think

[benka79]

Buddies Family episode 8: KazuRei rights! and Protect the family

Rei's father was literally telling Rei to kill his feelings for Kazuki (and Miri) and warning him he could "erase" Kazuki from his life.

Because he sent Rei to kill a man he knew (his mentor, I suppose) knowing he "had betrayed" the organization because he fell in love, got married, quitting his criminal life for love.

So, the mentor was Rei's parallel. Rei wants to change for love. He has Kazuki (the woman/wife in red) and Miri. He has a family to protect, he said it: 'I also have something to protect'. That something is his new family (Kazuki and Miri).

But, BUT-- Why would the writers make the Rei/Kazuki parallel with a romantic couple? I think we know...

Adding to this the car scene in which Rei confessed he didn't care about Kazuki at first "But then you started to clean--"

Boy... THIS IS SOME BEAUTIFUL SYMBOLISM HERE! This means KAZUKI STARTED TO CLEAN REI'S LIFE!!!! KAZUKI STARTED TO CHANGE REI'S LIFE! SO KAZUKI MATTERS TO HIM A LOT!!!

Rei hearing his mentor's last words before dying: "I'll see you again" is also very revealing for him! You can take this like family love to include Miri, ofc, but AGAIN! THE MAN WAS TALKING ABOUT HIS WIFE (ROMANTIC CODED SCENE) and Rei seemed to understand that feeling!

Because he is in love with Kazuki. (I'm sorry, but this episode was full of romantic codification).

And I say this because episode 7 was perfectly a family love related bc KAZUKI LOST A WIFE AND A CHILD (and now he has a new friend/partner /wife and child so you can point at this like family love). But this episode? This episode was ROMANCE. Which yells REI IS IN LOVE WITH KAZUKI.

Do we have doubts? Go see why the candles on his cake have different colors LIKE THE RAINBOW 🌈😉 (!!!!)

So, to conclude:

Episode 7: Kazuki is finding happiness with his new family: Rei and Miri.

Episode 8: Rei wants to protect Miri and Kazuki AND Rei is gay and he's in love with Kazuki. Sue me.

Bye bye!

[imongmamabitch]

A Kid? (Kazuki Kurusu x gn!reader)

...notes: I have watched buddy daddies and I love kazukii, also its 12 am so if it doesn't make sense, that's why.

...contains: fluff, a hint of angst, brief mention of cheating, brief allusion to cheating (tho it never happens)

"WHERE IS HE?!" you thought to yourself as you kept waiting for your boyfriend to call you and tell you how their mission went. It's been over 2 hours since he last texted you, the text said that everything would go smoothly and that he would come over after.

Their missions always ended fast because of how well thought out their plans were, so you don't know what's keeping Kazuki right now. You huffed and set your phone on your night stand, you'll just have to deal with it and give Kazuki his gift in the morning.

Morning came and you checked your phone first thing, still no messages. You sighed and made up your mind to just go visit Rei's place since he'd be most likely there.

You take your keys and gift and walk over to Rei's place, since his flat was just a floor below you. When you get there, you knock on the door and wait for an answer. A minute passed and nobody answered, so you knocked again. Still no response.

You furrow your eyebrows in confusion, is Kazuki still asleep? Normally he'd be up by now making breakfast. You knocked yet again, "Kazuki? Are you there?" At that, the door finally opened, revealing a very annoyed Rei.

"Rei! Is Kazuki home?" you asked, fiddling with the ribbon you tied Kazuki's gift with. "He's here." Rei grumbled and opened the door wide for you to go inside. Thanking him, you quickly walk to the living room, setting the gift down on the coffee table. When you turned around you saw Kazuki holding a child.

You froze.

What the hell?

Kazuki looked at you confused at first before he finally realized what  you were looking at. "It- it's not what you think! Let me explain!" He waved his arm around nervously and put the child down, "Her name's Miri and we're trying to find a way to get her home."

"How did she get here?" you asked, there was no reason for you not to believe Kazuki. You trusted him with your life so you trust him enough not to have cheated on you during your relationship. He's always been a gentleman, telling you beforehand if a mission requires seduction so you wouldn't have to worry.

"I took the train!" Miri said with glee, like she was proud of herself and she most likely was. Kazuki sighs, "The things we know are that she lives far away and her mother's a singer." You think for a second, trying to remember any celebrity singer that had a child like Miri and you draw a blank.

"That doesn't really give much info." you said, "But you're going to find a way to get that information aren't you?" Kazuki scratches his head, "That's what we're doing next, we were just about to leave actually."

"We?"

"Me and Rei."

…

You crossed your arms, "You were just about to leave this child alone, in this apartment, unsupervised?" you could see Kazuki visibly start to sweat, "Rei wasn't going to stay with her so…" If looks could kill, the glare you'd sent his way would've had him dead by now.

"I'll look after her for you." you finally said after several minutes of tense silence. Kazuki sighed in relief, relieved to not be under your intense gaze any longer. He turns on the TV to a children's channel and kissed you on the cheek, "We'll be right back. Miri, be good, okay?"

Miri didn't bother to answer, eyes glued to the screen as she danced with the animated vegetables. You smile and gently push your boyfriend, "She'll be fine, dear, now go."

With that, Kazuki's off with Rei in tow, leaving you with a child, who doesn't seem to be losing energy anytime soon.

© do not repost, translate, heavily reference any of my works and please reblog

[soniadamasco]

I found what Miri said to Kyu about not wanting to go home interesting because it's been like three months at this point and she doesn't seem to show any signs of missing Misaki or wanting to see her mom again. And yet she did still say back in ep 2 that she hoped her mom wasn't lonely. Could it be that she's not as oblivious to her situation as it looks and that she knows to some extent that her mom isn't in a state to be in her life?

That's a very interesting observation and I agree with you that's it's strange how she doesn't seem to miss her mom. I thought about that for a while and, while like you I think that she's more aware about what's going on around her than we believe, something else came to my mind.

You see, since ep. 1 Miri has always been a very independent kid: travelling alone all the way to find her papa, always escaping and trying to do things by herself. While kids at that age love to explore and try their hands at everything, it's quite strange for me how calm she is in those situations.

I believe Miri is actually used to be an independent kid because she was pretty often left by herself. Misaki doesn't seem to be a "bad mom" as in like a violent or verbally abusive parent, but she's also a working single mother. When Miri sings her mom's song in ep. 2 I believe she's recollecting a memory, probably from being at one of her mom's shows. Since we know Misaki is struggling with money, I find it very likely that she might have brought Miri along to her job, where she was left alone while her mom was working.

Aside from Misaki having little time to spend with Miri because of her work, I don't think she ever tried to take care of her aside from her basic needs. Yes, she cooked for her, dressed her and she did all those other things you have to do to keep a child alive, but was she ever present emotionally? I don't think so, considering even those basic things felt like a burden for her. It's easy to do those things without caring for someone, just because you feel obligated, but it's way harder to fake an emotional connection.

I still believe Miri cares a lot about her mom, but I also think she's used not to be around her. The fact that she didn't freak out the first time Rei and Kazuki left her alone in the house makes me also think that Misaki might've already left her at home by herself.

Another thing that makes me believe there is very little emotional connection between Miri and Misaki is how she answers to Kyutaro when he asks her if her family misses her:

See how she deflects the answer towards herself? My guess is that probably she cannot understand the idea of her mom being worried about her, because she never saw that emotion in Misaki. Instead, she reassures him by telling him she's fine with living with her papas.

Why is that? I believe that Kazuki and Rei are giving her exactly what her mom couldn't give her, which is emotional care. Look how she continues with her answer:

Those are the two most important things she can think about to show how well they're taking care of her. Yes, Kazuki is naturally great at cooking, but remember how she didn't like his hamburgers at first? And remember how he bought the ones from the store and also the cereals which she likes? With just this he's showing her attention, he shows her that he cares about what she likes and is ready to follow that direction because he knows it will make her happy. She feels like he's listening to her and that's very important for a child.

Another very important thing for children is spending quality time with their parents, just like Miri does when Rei plays videogames with her. We know he's not the best socially speaking, but he found a way to connect with Miri through something that he knows how to do well. Even playing a game together is a way to grow an emotional connection and I believe Miri is aware that this is Rei's way to show he cares about her.

Lastly, she says another important thing:

Look at how sure she is when she says they'll always be with her. That is a sense of stability that no one else but Kazuki and Rei could give to Miri. She trusts that they will keep being with her because she knows how much they love her and there is no doubt in her mind. After probably being emotionally neglected by her mother, that's a huge thing to say, which shows how safe she feels around them.

At the end I still think Miri misses her mom, but she realises that Misaki could never give her the same love that Kazuki and Rei are showing her everyday. That is one of the most important things for a child. Actually, for every person regardless of age. Love is what makes you feel at home and now for Miri home is where Kazuki and Rei are.

[theunfairmaiden]

Can we talk about this scene for a moment?

Bear with me - it's hard for me to put my thoughts into written words. A lot of my thoughts are feelings and images lol

This is so heartbreaking. Rei finally found it in him to cheer on Miri - something I'm sure is a foreign concept to him because his home life growing up was absolute garbage. Abuse. He's learning what it means to be a father, a lot of which he's learning through Kazuki, and he finally gets to a place where he starts acting like the father he wants to be and he's ashamed.

No one is upset with him - Miri isn't upset that she fell, she just thought she let her papas down, but Kazuki quickly reassures her that they just want her to have fun. Kazuki and Miri are just surprised (IN THE BEST AND HAPPIEST WAY) that Rei is showing enthusiasm and emotion. He's really stepping into his role as Miri's father. And because of his bitch ass father he thinks he's done something wrong by throwing Miri off guard, causing her to trip. He thinks he's a failure of a father. He feels like a nuisance, the same way his father made him feel when he was growing up. (PAIN. FULL BODY PAIN OVER THIS ONE. YOU'RE JUST TRYING YOUR BEST BB)

Let's also talk about how Kazuki reacts to Rei blaming himself. "No, dude. What the heck? Why would you say that?" Telling him that of course it's not your fault, don't be ashamed for stepping out of your shell. That's nonsense, nobody blames you. You did nothing wrong.

He also makes sure to check on him because he clearly appears to be much more sad than usual. And he obviously cares about his well-being. "Hey, you okay?" I think this shows Rei that he is worth being cared about when he's been raised his whole life that he's only a tool for destruction and the fact that Miri tripped only reinforces that idea in his mind. Kazuki's response reassures him that he didn't do anything wrong. He's beating himself up, and likely thinks he deserves it, but Kazuki is showing him that it doesn't matter and he doesn't deserve to be beaten down for this. I'm sure Kazuki knows how hard it was for Rei to come out of his shell like that, especially in such a public setting.

All-in-all, Miri is still ecstatic to be there with her papas - both of her papas. She'll just try again in the next event!

When she asks Rei and Kazuki to join her and Kazuki checks in with Rei and he responds with: "No, thanks..." And Kazuki walks away with Miri looking a little sad that he couldn't help Rei. Kazuki and Miri did everything they could to reassure Rei that he didn't do anything wrong and he's still beating himself up about it. I HATE HIS FATHER FOR WHAT HE DID TO HIM - JUST LOOK AT HIM. A LITTLE BB I JUST WANNA HUG HIM AND KISS HIM AND TELL HIM EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY. Like the look on his face just makes me want to cry. My heart. This show has made me feel LOTS of emotions that I was not expecting from a show like this.

I just really hope everything Shigeki did comes to bite him in the ass. I want the organization to crumble under Rei's thumb.

[buddy-daddies]

theory time: is "suwa" rei's real family name ?

buckle up, friends, for this one is a wild ride that i don't have a lot of faith in, but it's been haunting me for a bit now.

i keep thinking back to the scene in ep3 where kazuki and rei are talking about their respective childhoods, and one thing seems a little odd to me.

it's clear that the only thing kazuki really knows about rei's family is that it's a filthy rich one. he calls rei a "rich boy" in ep4 and makes an off-handed comment in ep3 that rei's family "sounds like a pain."

from the character bios on the official buddy daddies website (translated here by the amazing @skeletonpunching), we know that rei was born into a huge mafia family. i would think it would be strange for kazuki, who a) has been in the criminal world for many years and b) works primarily in intel gathering, would not have made the connection that rei is from this prominent mob family.

is it possible that rei goes by a different family name, then ?

his reasons for doing so could be numerous. we know he doesn't exactly have the best relationship with his father (who literally tells him not to call him "father" at all), so it could have been to distance himself from that family name that brings him so many awful memories and nightmares (like in the start of ep3.) is he maybe in the same boat as miri and an illegitimate child that the father had with a mistress ? maybe the father didn't want his bastard son to carry the family name but kept him as a pawn in his mob family army.

what, then, could rei's real family name be ?

my guess ? ogino

sound familiar, right ?

that's this guy's family name.

the next part of my theory is that ogino ryo and suwa rei are related.

the most likely possibility ? ogino is rei's uncle.

rei and ryo are very close given names, so it's quite possible that was an intentional choice by the showrunners and a small hint that they're somehow related.

(i am not going to even begin to entertain the thought that ogino ryo turns out to be rei's real father. that would be a CRAZY TWIST but i will stick with uncle for now.)

also, look at them. they both have sunken in eyes and do not know how to look at people normally.

this is not to mention the fact that they're both pale as all hell, have dark hair, and even have somewhat similar eye colors.

we see a scene in the opening where rei's on his motorcycle, and then it shifts to ogino rolling down the passenger-side window of his car.

there is also a scene in the trailer where ogino (i THINK it's him, correct me if i'm wrong !) asks (presumably) rei, "why do you kill ?" it's asked over a scene of rei in an unknown vehicle, which i think might be one of his father's men chauffering him, and then we hear rei reply right after. very fishy.

the lovely @albertinesimonet has a theory, born from the conversation between kyu-chan and the boys in ep5, that rei might have been there with ogino the day that kazuki's wife died.

could kazuki (or even his wife ?) have done something (intentionally or on accident) to warrant the organization placing a hit on them ? was rei involved in the death of kazuki's wife, and has he kept that knowledge from him this whole time ?

the idea has led to some very intriguing discussions about whether rei took kazuki in and lets him jerk him around on the regular out of guilt and feelings of atonement...

much to think about...

[lady-wallace]

Whumptober Day 29 (Buddy Daddies)

Final Buddy Daddies fic for @whumptober More Rei angst today with some headcanons about his mother and why he sleeps in a bathtub.

~~~~~~~

Prompts Used: Scented Candles, Troubled Past Resurfacing, 'What happened to me?' Fandom: Buddy Baddies Character: Rei

~~~~~~~

Read on Ao3

~~~~~~~

Kazuki was an enigma to Rei. He didn't understand his insistence on keeping the apartment clean, or on making three meals a day (and forcing Rei to eat them). Making sure Rei showered, cutting his hair, and buying furniture to fill up the empty spaces. Well, maybe that made a little sense to Rei because it meant there were more things to hide behind in the event of an attack.

But perhaps it was because Kazuki was so normal. Rei had never been around people like that. He'd watched them on the outside living their lives. It was that curiosity that had led him to heading off to live on his own before he realized that he wasn't good at fitting in with normal people.

Even now, Kazuki was humming happily to himself as he came back to the apartment after shopping, calling to Rei while he sat on the couch playing games.

"Hey, I'm back! Grabbed some stuff for dinner."

Rei didn't reply. He had figured out that Kazuki would talk no matter if he did or not. He seemed to have a need to fill a space and it was, a lot of time, a welcome distraction to Rei.

He glanced over toward the kitchen where Kazuki was putting stuff away and saw him setting out a couple expensive looking candles on the counter.

"Got some candles today—thought they might make the place smell better."

"Why?" Rei had to ask.

"Dude, it reeks in here," Kazuki replied as he rummaged around for a lighter. "Trust me, you'll be able to tell the difference."

Rei turned back to his games, not wanting to bother trying to figure out another weird—or perhaps normal?—thing his roommate was doing.

That was until he caught the scent of the candles wafting through the house, sugary, warm and—

Gentle hands caring for a scraped knee.

A smile hovering over him, surrounded by long black hair.

"Stay here, don't move!"

A bathroom, inside the tub—broken glass all around. 

"I'll always love you."

"Stay here and cover your ears."

Two men carrying something under a blood-stained sheet.

A sharp sting on his cheek, falling to the floor. "Soft like your mother."

"I'll always love you."

Rei gasped aloud, staggering to his feet, his hand coming to his head, dizzy from the sudden assault of—what, memories? Definitely memories, but from where?

"Rei? Hey, you good, man?"

He had to stop this. He grabbed his pistol and shot the candle, exploding the glass and wax into a hundred pieces and leaving a bullet hole in the wall behind it as Kazuki dove away with a shriek.

"Wh-what the hell man?" Kazuki demanded. "The landlord's gonna kill us for that!"

Rei didn't reply, he couldn't. He had to get out of here, away from the scent.

He hurried out of the apartment, stopping once he was out of the street, breathing in fresh air and effectively clearing his head.

What happened to me? he wondered, looking down at his shaky hand. That kind of thing wasn't supposed to happen to him. His father had made sure he was trained better than that.

SLAP—Soft like your mother

"Mother," Rei whispered.

He didn't remember his mother…he thought. But, that must have been….

"Rei!"

He startled as Kazuki jogged up to him, slowing down as he realized Rei wasn't going to go anywhere.

"Hey, man, I hope I didn't offend you or anything," he said. "I just thought the candles would be nice. Are you allergic or something?"

Rei shook his head.

"Then why the hell did you shoot it, man—those are expensive, you know!"

"I don't know," Rei finally replied, hands clenching. "Can you shut up?!"

Kazuki looked like he had slapped him and Rei might as well have. He'd never addressed the other man like that before, barely paid him outward heed.

"Rei, are you all right?"

"Leave me alone," Rei replied as he pushed past the other man and headed back to the apartment, going directly to his room. He needed to clear his head. He sank onto the bed, trying to take deep breaths to steady himself.

The same images flashed through his mind: Soft hands, long black hair, warm sweet scent of sugar, bathtub, broken, shouting, broken glass…

Rei didn't realize he had been clenching his hands so hard until he looked down to see his nails had made red crescents in his palms. He let out a shuddering breath and loosened his hands, still finding dangerous tremors in them.

Why had this affected him so much? Why had he allowed it to? He couldn't understand why those memories he didn't even know he'd had just showed up all of a sudden, uninvited, just because he had smelled a damn candle.

He stretched out on the bed, lowering one arm over his eyes as he tried to clear his mind. But everything just felt like it was such a mess and he didn't know what he was going to do.

XXX

Rei slunk down the stairs later that evening when he heard Kazuki banging around in the kitchen. It wasn't a familiar feeling to him, but he felt somewhat awkward, almost…well, a little bad about yelling at Kazuki earlier. While it technically was his fault for buying the candle, he couldn't know what had happened in Rei's head because of it.

Rei took a seat at the counter, hunched slightly. He could see the candle that he hadn't shot sitting to one side and tried not to let it make him uncomfortable. He watched Kazuki cook for a few minutes. The man always seemed so sure of himself while he was in the kitchen, doing things Rei had never seen anyone do before. But then, he could barely make toast, so what did he know?

"You hungry?"

Kazuki's words startled him out of his strangely rambling mind. He shrugged.

Kazuki continued, moving on to crack eggs, tossing the shells over his shoulder into the sink.

One missed and spattered raw egg on the counter and Kazuki glanced back with a sheepish grin. "Aw, missed. Was sure I'd get it that time." He chuckled, then let out a sigh with a brief smile. "My wife always hated it when I would do that."

Rei watched him clean it up and toss the shells into the trash before going back to cooking.

"You know, the only reason I bought the candles is because they reminded me of my wife," Kazuki went on. "She always had a million of them around the house, I was afraid she'd light the place on fire." He smiled fondly. "

Rei furrowed his brow. Kazuki never talked about his wife. Rei knew she had died, that was all. He'd seen one picture of her before Kazuki had put it into a drawer, clearly stating that it was none of Rei's business. So it confused him that he was bringing her up now.

"That scent was her favorite," Kazuki added.

The memories flashed back through his mind again and he squeezed his eyes shut before another memory popped into his head.

"This one is my favorite, doesn't it smell good, Rei-chan?" Warm flame, lighting the dark room. A soft kiss on his forehead through a curtain of black hair. "Maybe it will help you sleep."

Something caught in his throat and before he knew it he said, "My mother's too."

It surprised him and apparently surprised Kazuki too because he paused briefly before resuming his work, pouring eggs into a pan.

Rei was still confused about why he had even spoken when Kazuki said, "Memories can hurt sometimes. I still get sad when I think of her. But, you know, I guess that's how you know someone had an impact on your life."

But what if you don't remember? Rei wondered.

XXX

Rei never usually slept well. He was too hyperaware of his surroundings to fall into more than a light sleep. Tonight was worse though, because on top of his usual trained anxiety, he could not stop the images flashing through his mind, a messy jumble that threatened to drive him mad.

Because he did vaguely remember his mother, and he knew that something bad had happened to her, so how the hell had he forgotten that? He wanted to remember, but he didn't know how…

Rei pushed himself up from the couch where he had been trying to sleep, and glanced to the corner of the kitchen counter where Kazuki had set the second candle.

Rei got up and padded over to grab it, staring at it warily. He hadn't liked the loss of control he'd felt earlier when it came to the memories, but…

He wanted to remember. Maybe if he could control the situation, it would help everything become clearer?

"Stay here, don't move"

The frantically whispered words echoed again and Rei suddenly started upstairs, slipping into the bathroom. The tub stood there like some kind of sanctuary, a promise of safety. Rei set the candle down on the side of it and pulled out his lighter.

Warm light emanated from the flame, and he eased himself down into the tub, sitting cross-legged with his hands clasped in front of him, head down. He closed his eyes as the sweet scent filtered in, setting off memories once more.

He took a deep breath and tried to stop the instant flow, plucking one out and trying to focus on it, breathing the scent in deeply:

"Can't sleep again?"

Rei lay curled under his blankets, shaking his head. He could hear the men in suits outside, slamming car doors and driving away. They scared him.

"Here, I have an idea."

His mother left the room for a moment before returning with a candle. She set it by his bedside and lit it silently. A comforting glow spread around the room, allowing Rei to breathe a little easier.

"This one is my favorite, doesn't it smell good, Rei-chan?" Her face was in shadows, but she leaned over the bed, silky black hair acting as a curtain for the world beyond as she bent to kiss his forehead. "Maybe it will help you sleep."

"But papa—"

"Your father doesn't need to know," his mother said softly, stroking his hair. "Everyone needs a little light in the dark. Now close your eyes, I'll stay with you until you fall asleep."

Rei blinked, inhaling sharply. He couldn't remember the last time he had thought of his mother with such clarity. He had completely forgotten being that young even. It seemed so long ago in more than just years.

He swallowed hard and tried to dig for the other memory, focusing on the bathtub.

A loud bang startled him awake, Rei had barely opened his eyes before his mother was scooping him out of bed, carrying him quickly out of the room, where the men in suits were rushing down the hall, guns in hand.

"Mama?"

"Shh, be quiet."

She threw open the bathroom door and placed Rei into the tub. 

"Stay here, don't move," she said quickly, cupping his cheek. "Just stay here and cover your ears."

"What's happening?"

"Don't ask questions, darling," she pleaded. "Promise me you'll stay down and not come out until I come for you. You'll be safe here, I promise." She leaned in and kissed his forehead. "I'll always love you, Rei."

Then she was gone and Rei was torn on following her, but the loud bangs sounded out and he was too scared so he curled up as small as he could in the tub and slammed his hands over his ears. 

He didn't know how long he waited. Noises crashed around him, shards of glass and plaster sprinkling down as things exploded in the room. But Rei stayed still, knowing his mother wouldn't lie. That as long as he did he would be okay.

He stayed that way a long time after the sounds stopped. Someone opened the door and Rei finally looked up, hoping it was Mama but it was just one of the men in suits.

"I found him," the man said speaking into a crackling radio. "He seems to be okay."

The man reached into the tub and picked Rei up, shoes crunching over the glass on the floor.

"Mama," Rei murmured.

The man didn't say anything, but Rei wriggled free as soon as they got out and started running as the man swore.

"Mama!" he shouted.

He ran until he hit his father, staggering back as the man made no move to help him, staring at the milling men in the entryway of the house. Two men were picking up stretchers covered in red-stained white sheets, carrying them out the front door.

Rei saw a curtain of dark hair spilling from under one of them and started forward.

"M-Mama!"

His father caught his shoulder tightly, hauling him back.

"She won't be coming back, boy. You'd best get used to that. It's time to grow up and begin learning the duties of the Suwa heir."

He left, leaving Rei standing there, alone.

Rei came out of the memory, hands shaking, breaths coming quick and sharp. He looked around, half expecting to see that destroyed bathroom from before, but it was just the same as it always was, with the addition of the candle.

He let out a long breath, slowly laying down in the tub to stare up at the ceiling, allowing the warm scent of the burning wax to lull him. When he closed his eyes he could almost feel the touch of a hand on his cheek, soft lips on his forehead.

"I'll always love you."

"Mama," he whispered. An odd feeling came over him, not necessarily sadness—it had been so long ago now. But he felt glad to have remembered. Perhaps Kazuki was right. Maybe memories were worth the hurt they caused.

He curled up in the bottom of the tub, feeling safe with the candle glow and closed his eyes. And for the first time in a long time, he was able to fall into a deep, peaceful sleep.

XXX

Kazuki got up to grab a drink of water, noticing that Rei's bedroom door was open. Not that he usually slept there anyway, but he was still feeling a little bad about the candle incident. He didn't know what the scent might have brought up, but he was sure it probably wasn't good considering Rei's reaction.

But his roommate wasn't on the couch either when Kazuki got downstairs, which was odd.

Frowning, Kazuki got his glass of water and returned upstairs.

That was when he saw a warm glow from under the bathroom door and caught the scent of brown sugar and vanilla.

"Rei?" he asked.

There was no reply, and, worried, Kazuki cautiously opened the door.

The first thing he saw was the candle sitting on the side of the tub, burning away with a warm glow.

Inside the tub was Rei, curled in the bottom, sleeping heavily, breathing even and slow. His face actually looked relaxed and Kazuki felt an almost brotherly affection toward the younger man at the sight.

He went to grab a blanket, draping it over the sleeping man, leaving the candle burning as he went to catch some sleep himself.

~~~~~~~

Check out my Whumptober Masterpost HERE for more stories!

If you want to follow me on other social media or ask about fic or art commissions, find my info on My Carrd

[gabriel-xander]

I Wish You Died Instead Ch. 7

[Scaramouce x Fem!Reader]

A/N: I started writing this before all of his lore came out/Before the last Sumeru Archon quest, so there will be a handful of inconsistency later on. My advice to you? Just go with it!

{Also on Quotev, Ao3, and Wattpad under Gabriel Xander}

Chapter 7: He Totally Loves Your Letters

Fiddling nervously with your hands, you sit silently at the table while Childe, Zhongli, Kazuki... and two other people talk with each other about the recent passing of Rex Lapis, the God of Geo, and, like, 50 other fancy titles.

You're not gonna lie, his "death" was a little funny to you. Honestly, it kind of looked like Lady Ningguang was the one who did it. She did this whole performance thing and shot this power into the sky. Two seconds later, a great dragon fell out of the sky dead as hell.

No one seems to think about it like that, though.

Anyway, the two other guests that Zhongli and Childe were talking to were:

The Traveler and Paimon.

They are the man(s), the myth, the legend...

The Traveler, who introduced himself as Aether, was actually very pretty. You first confused him as a young man, a potential little baby, a little son you can spoil because he's just a little guy. But alas, that is not the case with him. He looked a little sad when he had to correct you about his age.

You and Kazuki were already with Zhongli at Liuli Pavilion when Childe arrived with Aether and Paimon. That's when you officially met them both, and Aether's aura was one of someone who has lived and experienced more than you can ever imagine. Aether wasn't very talkative, instead the weird fairy, Paimon, did most of it on his behalf.

Kazuki puts a hand on your bouncing thigh, giving you a passive look. Calm down, he's telling you.

You smile at him.

You were only nervous since you were unsure if the Traveler and Paimon knew of your true identity, and you didn't want to go around announcing that if you could help it.

"In fact," Zhongli looks at you with a smile, "[Y/n], why don't you accompany us? You have always shown interest in my work before, and I can allow you to witness it firsthand just this once if you'd like."

Wait, what? You were not paying attention.

"Uh, I–Sorry, I zoned out," You laugh nervously, "What did you want my help with?"

"It's not like you to be so out of focus," Kazuki teases, nudging your leg.

You scoff, "Leave me alone, I zoned out for not even a minute."

Childe chuckles, "The Traveler, Paimon, and Mr. Zhongli were just discussing the fulfillment of the memorial service for the passing of Rex Lapis. I agree with him, I think it'd be a good opportunity for you to learn. You do always ask him about it, after all."

You laugh sheepishly, embarrassed at how easily they keep revealing that.

It's not that you're super interested in the work of a funeral consultant, more so the stories Zhongli always shared about the clients. He always knows so much, and he's so knowledgeable about that dead person's life, and you don't know why, but you just love hearing about it.

You wouldn't consider yourself a "dang I love people" type of person, but life itself is so wonderful to you. You love hearing about life through a person who seemed like he experienced so much of it.

After all, your fascination with life itself is the reason why you became a Fatui, to begin with. You're given resources to travel the world and study the land under the guise of doing work. You especially love learning about the history of Teyvat, the Abyss, Celestia, and Khaenri'ah, kind of like lore hunting.

"Is-Is it really okay if I come, Mr. Zhongli?"

Still, you have to ask. Childe never hid his identity from Zhongli, so you never bothered either, he knows you three are of Fatuus. Is it really okay with him if you go along knowing that there's the possibility that your superior will ask something suspicious of you?

La Signora hasn't yet, but still. Surely he knows?

He nods with a smile, "Of course. I wouldn't have offered otherwise."

You light up and sit up straighter, "Then yeah! Of course! Thank you for having me!"

"Hm," The brunette nods, "Now then if we have agreed, come with me. We will speak of the details as we walk."

It wasn't until after your group left (leaving poor Kazuki with Childe) that the ginger asked his subordinate a question.

"Do you think... [Y/n] would be upset with me if I had asked her to be a double agent while with Mr. Zhongli?"

Kazuki nods immediately, "Yes, My Liege. Unfortunately, you two are friends now. Though she tries not to show it, she is quite sensitive. Especially when it comes to the topic of friends. Why do you think before meeting you, she was only friends with me?"

"I just thought she was a loner," Childe raises a brow.

"No. Her philosophy is: that betrayal hurts because it can only come from the people you care about. And in this line of business, that is inevitable. Now that you are her friend, you fall under that category," The Pyro vision user hums as he sloshes around the drink in his hand, "I personally have no issue with it, but for [Y/n], never mix friends and business with her."

Tartaglia had to think to himself for a moment, wondering if it was a good idea to become your friend at all. He doesn't regret it, but it does make situations like these more difficult. It took a while for you to even want to warm up to him, so... No, he doesn't want to risk it so soon by asking you to spy on your guys' mutual friend.

"Wait," Childe frowns at Kazuki, "What did you mean earlier when you said, "Unfortunately we're friends?"

The man with light brown eyes smirks very slightly, nearly unnoticeable, "Because you are a Harbinger, My Liege. And your task here requires violent actions, remember? You're going to do something that upsets her, and she's going to cut you off. It's inevitable."

...

Childe slams his forehead on the table.

Well... fuck.

————

You lightly smack your cheek, blinking hard to keep yourself awake so late into the night so you don't pass out in the middle of reading.

You're lucky you managed to befriend Jifang, the Boss of Wawen Bookhouse before you knew she was the boss of the place. This ended up working out for you when you wanted to read a book, she'd allow you to "rent" it out rather than a full purchase. She even trusted you to stick around to keep reading even after she closed shop for the day. You'd say you're doing a good job maintaining her trust since you never stole and you always made sure to honor her payment methods.

"So even the Salt God stood amongst the other Gods before the Archon War..." You mutter, reading the next passage out loud, "...before being ruthlessly murdered by one of her own followers."

Holy shit, that's fucked up! Just because she was kind, she had to die? But that doesn't make any sense. If this was during the Archon War, and the God of Salt was technically considered a God of Liyue, why didn't Rex Lapis help her out? Or at least, helped her people so they didn't feel like they had to kill their own God?

You hum to yourself as you keep reading the book: "Her remains are likely to be found somewhere in the ruins of the area known as "Sal Terrae."

The rest of the Volume goes on to talk about the "Flower Toss", or more commonly known in Liyue and Mondstadt, as the "Flower Ball", the God of Salt handed her people a bunch of flowers as a blessing to them. Or at least, if not a blessing, then a small gesture of comfort to stave off the bitterness of the Archon War.

You close shut Volume 1 of Customs of Liyue, neatly putting it back on the shelf from where you got it. Volumes 2 and 3 are about the Rite of Decension and Silk Flowers, both of which you know have nothing to do with the Salt God.

You skim through the spines of the books, trying to find something else of relevance. It's a bit hard to read in the dark, and the only light you have is a lantern above illuminating a small area.

"Ah, here we go. Hopefully, this has something," You muse to yourself, "Volumes 1 and 2 of Records of the Gallant."

Spoilers: it was a fucking bust.

You sigh in irritation as you put the books back after a quick skim. You're starting to get a headache from reading in the dark for hours. Dawn will soon arrive in a few hours, making you dread today's assignments.

You stifle through your Mora bag, pulling out... shit, how many books did you end up reading tonight? You read the full series of Customs of Liyue and Records of the Gallant. Not to mention that you had a quick indulgence of the Mondstadt, Liyue, Inazuma, and Sumeru Teyvat Travel Guides before you were on a spontaneous lore hunt. It was 1,000 Mora for each Volume, and 2,500 Mora for each Travel Guide Volume. (Mind you, this is all half-price since you're "renting" them, and not fully purchasing them for permanent ownership.)

You pout very sadly, parting with 15,000 Mora. You put it in a jar that Jifang leaves out for you to put the Mora in.

Liyue's architect and structure still fucking confuse you to this day, so it takes you a whole fucking hour to get back to the Northland Bank. It seemed that Vlad's shift was over, since now Nadia, the guard of the Northland Bank for the night shift, was outside standing at attention.

You smile at her, and she smiles back when she recognizes you. You think it's funny other Fatuus have a hard time recognizing you without your mask on. You don't like wearing it out when you're not on the clock though, and you haven't been scolded for it so you guess it's fine.

"Hey, there, Nadia. Is Ekaterina still here?" You ask her, holding back a yawn.

"Oh, good evening, [L/n]. Yes, she should still be here. She had a busy day today, you know. So she might be a little cranky," The girl with light brown hair tells you, "Oh! Before you go in, I have news about my new pen-pal!"

"Oh? Do we finally have more information about them?" You smile teasingly.

"Yeah! He's also a guard here at the Northland Bank, but he's on duty during the day, while I'm on duty at night," Nadia nervously pushes a lock of hair behind her ear, "To tell you the truth, I don't even know his name."

Dude... She is literally talking about Vlad. You literally know Vlad.

Still, it's actually pretty cute that she managed to get to him. Vlad is always dry when talking to you, and he never cared for socializing with the people here. You decide to keep his identity a secret from Nadia, you think it'll be cuter for her this way to learn herself.

"One time, I accidentally left the letter I had written to my brother at our post. And then perhaps the other guard mistook it as a letter I left for him. He even wrote me a reply. I could read between the lines and tell that he was probably very lonely, so I thought it would be good along with it to help him this way. But eventually, writing to him also became a part of my life. I've even started looking forward to receiving his letters, hehe...!"

You feel a weird, bittersweet emotion from her words. You wonder if your letters to Scaramouch help him feel any better, wherever he is at the moment. He never wrote back to you, but you're still dedicated to writing to him often.

You... You hope he also looks forward to receiving your letters.

"That's good, Nadia! I hope things keep going well with this mysterious pen-pal," You wink at her, nudging her arm, "Who knows, maybe he's very handsome, too."

She blushes under her mask, though you can barely see it. "I-I... Don't you have to talk to Ekaterina?! Ge-Get going...!"

"Alright, alright," You pull open the door, "Have a good night, Nadia."

"Ye-Yes, you too."

Poor Ekaterina was sitting at the counter doing late-night paperwork. You don't know exactly what her job entails, but you have a funny feeling Childe makes her job more stressful.

"Hello, Ekaterina!" You greet her as cheerfully as you can because you have a feeling that your happiness will make her annoyed.

And you were right.

She glares at you and you feel it through her mask, "[L/n]. What. Is. Wrong. With. You."

"Want me to go alphabetically, or chronologically?"

"...???"

"Never mind," You shake your head, "I want to talk to your boss. Is Lord Childe here?"

"Do you not realize what time it is? He's already retired for the night hours ago, so you'll have to try your luck tomorrow."

"Riiiigt, right. I figured, but I thought I should take my chances anyway. Anyway, I wanted to take out a small loan for myself. I'm finally cashing in my vacation starting tomor–Uh, I guess starting today, I mean."

"Wait. A vacation? That's a bit last minute, isn't it?"

"Yeah, I guess. But I already received permission from the Fair Lady, so I'm being responsible, don't worry."

"Yes, I figured as much, otherwise you wouldn't have bothered. But still, don't you want to wait? I mean, the Rite of Parting is the day after tomorrow. Don't you want to stick around for it?

You furrow your brows and cross your arms, "Not to be callous, but no. There's something else I'm more interested in, and I know I'll be way too restless to wait any longer so I'll just do it now."

Ekaterina looks put off by your attitude since you're usually more amendable to reason but it seems that doesn't apply whenever it comes to your own personal interests/research. Ah, but she knows that Childe wouldn't want you to go since he likes you, he's admitted to that before in passing. And Kazuki might have some reservations about it as well, or maybe, he'd even want to go with you.

"I-I see. Well... Alright, then," Ekaterina says with a slight sigh, "Give me a moment to finish up here, and I'll get to the paperwork for the withdrawal."

"Sure, take your time," You smile, "Actually, I'll be leaving now to get sleep. We can get this sorted out in a few hours after some rest, right?"

"Yes, that will be fine. Have a good rest, [L/n]."

"You too, Ekaterina."

You turn around to leave, but you don't get to the door.

"Ah–Wait! I almost forgot!"

You turn around at Ekaterina's sudden shout. You walk back curiously as she shuffles through a stack of papers from behind her desk. You don't rush her, waiting patiently as you lean on the desk. She picks up a small stack of papers, and dreadfully, you believe that it is all yours. To your luck, she stifles through them and separates a slightly thick envelope wrapped in a thin, red string before handing them to you.

Thank God.

You smile and mutter out thanks, taking the envelope from the woman before leaving the bank. You recognize the envelope as being the common ones used in Snezhnaya, more precisely, used at the Zapolyarny Palace. There wasn't a wax seal or a name though, only that it was addressed to you: [Y/n] [L/n], written very neatly. Just from holding it, you can feel there are other papers inside it.

Walking back to the place you and the other Fatuus are staying at takes another about two hours because Liyue is fucking huge. You left the bank around 23:35, but you don't get to your location until 1:42. You hate it here. However, the air is crisp and cool, so you didn't mind the walk too much. There were only a few people out since there were some shops open this late at night. You wave to a few you pass by regularly, though you wouldn't say you're on friendly terms with them, you see each other often enough to at least say hi.

Your identity as a Fatui isn't exactly a secret, so, commonly, you'll get the cold shoulder and unwarranted disrespect. However, you're friendly and outwardly honest enough that you managed to get a good majority of Liyue to like you... Enough.

You still experience distrust and discrimination because of your occupation. You guess there's just no helping it.

Entering your room, you make sure to lock the door behind you and shuck off your coat. You tilt your head side to side, flopping down on your bed face first.

You're ready to pass out then and there, but you're curious about the mail in your hands. You push yourself up and kick off your shoes, moving further up the bed so you can sit cross-legged.

There are separate letters inside it, one addressed to La Signora, one addressed to Tartaglia, and one to yourself. Strange, the main mail was addressed to you, so why did you get Signora's and Childe's letters as well? Was it a mistake?

Either way, you don't want to get in trouble and risk it, so you'll only open yours. You'll just have to make sure to give these out to their proper owners in the morning after you sleep. There isn't a wax seal, so it was easy enough to retrieve the hand-written letter.

————

06 . 08 . XXXX

To My Faithful Servant,

I hope you haven't been completely useless without me for the past six months. It HAS been six months, right? At least for you anyway, but that's beside the point.

I've finally returned to Snezhnaya as of this morning, though I'll be staying at Zapolyarny Palace for another month to complete some work for the Doctor. For your own safety, I advise you to stay where you are in Liyue until I have time to get you myself.

Actually, I think it'd be better if you start working under Tartaglia until then, I don't trust that witch as far as I can throw her. I'll write up an appeal for you to give over to Signora and Tartaglia separately. I'll make sure to include them in the letter before sending it out.

Anyway, you can stop worrying so much. If I knew you'd send letters this frequently, I would've just brought you instead. But now that I think about it, you probably would give me a big headache the whole time, so never mind.

If you want to keep sending your pointless letters, then be my guest. I won't bother replying, but at least that way I know you're still alive and I won't need to hire a new second in command.

You're extremely lucky I happen to find you tolerable. When I see you again, be ready to be put to work.

From "Your Dearest,"

Scaramouche

————

You scoff out a laugh, get up from your bed, and hurry to your desk.

Fuck that guy, you're writing back immediately. As a matter of fact, you don't give a fuck, you're going to be sappy as fuck because you'll admit, you miss that cuck. From the date, he sent this last week. If you send it first thing tomorrow, then he should receive it in a week as well.

————

Scaramouche sighs quietly, closing the door to his chambers gently as he simply lacks the energy for anything else. He's finding himself to be more monotonous as of late, maybe due to the temporary routine of his life. It hasn't even been two weeks since he returned to the Zapolyarny Palace and he's already getting bored of his time here.

He has to endure the Doctor's experiments since returning, doing his own fucking paperwork because while he usually has you doing it, he doesn't trust his other subordinates with it.

He does nothing but train, endure experiments, paperwork, and repeat.

And now it's time for the last part of his routine.

Paperwork.

He sits down at his desk, glaring at the stacks of paper with hatred and disdain, snatching his fountain pen aggressively to get started-

The top of the stack was an envelope with a wax seal he recognized immediately. He drops the pen and carefully (but eagerly) takes the letter and unseals the wax with practiced habit. Scaramouche doesn't realize he's smiling as the familiar scent of your perfume gets stronger when he takes out the letter. He doesn't understand why, but you've always done that with the letters.

He can't say he hates it though.

Ah, the date is from last week. Did you send this the day you got his letter?

————

06 . 15 . XXXX

To My Dearest, Loveliest, Most Criminally Insane Boss,

It's wonderful to hear from you, My Lord! It's okay to admit that you missed me too, I promise to keep it a secret.

I can't lie, I was very happy to hear that you are okay and back at the Palace that I hate spelling. I hope the Doctor hasn't been too overbearing for you, I know how much he displeases you and that's putting it lightly. Let us both pray the days go by fast for us so this month can be over.

I imagine you must have wonderful stories to tell from your time away, I expect nothing less from the mighty Harbinger such as yourself!

...

Are you getting annoyed yet? Haha! Sorry, maybe being in Liyue for this long has put me in too good of a mood lately. There are so many fascinating things about this place and so many things to learn about. Actually, tomorrow I'm taking a short vacation to visit Sal Terrae with (hopefully) my companion, Kazuki. Did you know that the God of Salt was most likely killed by her own people? Well, that's actually why I want to visit it, to confirm it myself. I doubt I'll make any paper about it, this is just to sedate my own curiosity.

I just realized you won't care for this... I don't have the energy to rewrite this though so tough luck.

Anyway, later this morning (it will already have passed by the time you get this) will be the Rite of Parting for Rex Lapis. I already told you in another letter, but that bitch dead as hell. Not to sound disrespectful, but I'm not NEARLY as interested in that as I am for the God of Salt. Hopefully, Lord Childe and Kazuki can tell me about it, I'm sure they'll both be participating.

Sorry for rambling, I tend to do that too much in all my letters don't I? Why is that? Probably because it's easier to talk to you like this when I'm not in pimp-slapping range. And I can't see the disgust on your face because I can't shut the fuck up. Sorry, ignore that.

I'll wrap this up now. You said I don't have to keep writing to you, but then I'd be making your life too easy, and we can't have that, can we?

Take care, and I'll write again next week with another update.

Your Wonderful, Favorite, Totally Amazing Servant,

[Y/n]

[L/n]

————

The Balladeer shakes his head with a smile, opening the top drawer to put it alongside the other letters he's kept. Though, he pauses right as he's about to set it down.

He sets it back on the table and opens up another drawer where he keeps his papers and envelopes.

It'd just be rude to not write back. Not that he particularly cares if he hurts your feelings or not, but this is a lot better than doing fucking paperwork.

————

06 . 21 . XXXX

To My Wonderful, Favorite, Totally Amazing Servant,

These titles are getting ridiculous, and frankly, too tiresome to write.

You're right about one thing, I DO miss you... I miss you doing all my paperwork for me, that's for damn sure. I never realized how tiresome and boring it was to do this, is this what you go through? If so, Thank GOD I won't have to do it for much longer. Once you return to my side, you're going to be very busy catching up on all the work I don't want to do.

I'm afraid I don't have anything worth sharing on my time away, so I'll have to disappoint you with that. From what you've told me, that seems to be the complete opposite of your time in Liyue. You certainly seem happier there than in Snezhnaya, perhaps you ought to stay there.

I at least know you tend to get too caught up in your research. If I didn't know any better, I could've mistaken you for a Sumeru Scholar. Maybe the Haravat Darshan would take you eagerly, though I don't know much about the Akademiya to make a proper guess.

Why don't you give me a brief essay on the God of Salt as a practice assessment once you finish your investigation? I'll determine for you whether you'll get accepted or not; I figure you'll be done with Sal Terrae once you receive this. But be warned, I won't hold back so don't disappoint me with your essay, or I'll be forced to give you a failing grade.

What did Childe tell you about the Rite of Parting? Did anything interesting happen, or is it as boring as all funerals?

You know, you're not as irritating as everyone else who works for me. If you made it sound interesting, then perhaps I can tolerate you telling me more of your knowledge in person.

No promises, though.

By the time you get this, I might already be on the way to Liyue. How about this instead of waiting for me in Liyue, why don't you start making your way to Mondstadt? The Jester wants me to do something for him in the nation of Freedom, so it'll be less of a hassle to meet you there instead. I can trust you to travel alone and make it there alive, right?

I hate to be disappointed in you over something so simple.

Your Dearest, Loveliest, Most Cri

Ugh, like I said. Too much of a hassle.

Sincerely,

Scaramouche

————————

A/N: I actually read ALL books of ​​​​​​"Customs of Liyue" and "Records of the Gallant" from the Genshin Archives in game to get the information I wrote down. Not only that, I was walking place to place to determine the lore-accurate time it takes to get from Point A to Point B. It's a thankless job but it must be done.

[fanatic-domain-fanfiction]

I remember you shared part of it with me a while ago, but would you be interested in finishing the story of Kazurei’s first kiss? UwU

I remember what you were talking about! It's part of a longer fic (that I didn't publish before the finale where things happen a little differently as I need to tweak it). This happens after events go down at the Suwa Mansion and Rei is resting, under the orders of Kazuki. Hope this is good enough for you!!! TW: mentions of murder/death (they are two assassins after all)

“Didn’t you say I was meant to help?” Kazuki pulled his coat on with a sigh. “You resting is helping right now and you know what some of the daycare mothers can be like. You turning up all battered and bruised is only going to bring up more questions and we’ve got enough to deal with.” He strode over to where Rei was sat on the couch playing Morio Kart, a blanket draped over him that Miri had insisted on. Kazuki leant on the back, standing quite close to his partner. “Take the time to catch up on your games while Kyu and I sort out what’s happened.” Rei nodded, only pouting slightly. “That’s settled. I won’t be long.” “PAPA!!” “Okay, Miri! Be back soon,” Kazuki chuckled and leant down, turning his head towards Rei, eyes slipping shut as he gave his partner a gentle kiss.

Rei’s character fell off the track as Kazuki sprang back, eyes wide. His mouth opened and closed like some sort of goldfish as Rei stared at him. “PAPA!!!!” “Right! Yep. Daycare. Bye, Rei.” Kazuki quickly ran over to the door, grabbing his umbrella and ushering Miri out of the door. “Papa, why is your face all red?” “Because it’s too hot.” “But I’m cold!” “Well, I’m too hot-”

The door slammed shut leaving the apartment filled only with the noise of Rei’s abandoned game. *** Kazuki stood in the rain, watching Miri run inside. He almost wished he could stay a bit longer before having to go back and face Rei. Maybe he could get some shopping in… there must be something that they needed, but he’d just been out the other day. “Kazuki? I thought Rei usually brings Miri today.” He looked over and saw a couple of the mothers had walked over. “Yeah, he normally does but… Rei’s had a difficult weekend and just needs some time.” “Oh no! If you don’t mind, what happened?” “He lost his father. It was all quite sudden,” Kazuki said, wondering if you could describe pre-meditated murder as sudden. The mothers gasped and quickly started offering their condolences, even if it felt quite unnecessary to Kazuki. “What’s Miri been like about it?” “We…” Kazuki scratched the back of his head. “Decided not to tell her. She doesn’t even know him anyway and he’s never been interested in getting to know her. We would rather keep things as normal as we can for her.” “If there is anything we can do to help, then you shouldn’t be afraid to ask.” “Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.” Kazuki smiled and left to face the inevitable… whatever that might be when he got home. ***

Kazuki hesitated at the door. It would be fine. It would be fine. He could always… play it off as a joke or just apologise. He’d messed up. At the very least he should have asked before just… kissing him! Oh God… had Rei even kissed anyone before? Kazuki wondered if maybe staying out here would be the better option for now.

No.

He had to speak to Rei. He had to get this sorted out… at least before he had to go and pick Miri up at the end of the day. He had time… but the more he procrastinated, the less time he had. Taking a deep breath, Kazuki opened the door. “I’m back!” he called out, looking towards the sofa as he took his shoes off.

No Rei. Just the blanket. Where was he!? He was meant to be resting!

Kazuki hung his coat up and walked in. “Rei! I’m home!” “Hey,” a voice replied from the kitchen, pouring out a mug of coffee. “What did I tell you about resting?” “I was thirsty.” “And you couldn’t wait for me to get back.” Rei shrugged, adding in way too much sugar than any human should have in coffee, according to Kazuki. He grabbed the mug and trudged back to the sofa, stopping at Kazuki first.

“Welcome home,” he mumbled, giving Kazuki the briefest kiss before heading back to his game.

It was Kazuki’s turn to be struck dumb, standing there like a lovestruck statue. Rei… wasn’t mad? In fact, he… had done the same.

Kazuki marched over to Rei, taking the mug off him, placing it on the floor. Before Rei could protest, he found a bent finger tucked underneath his chin, tilting his head up. Any want to protest disappeared as warm lips met his again. They stayed like that for a few seconds before Kazuki pulled back. He smiled softly, eyes just starting to open as Rei pulled him in again, Kazuki nearly falling over.

One kiss turned into two… to three… to four… to losing count.

When Kazuki opened his eyes again, he was sat beside Rei, arms tightly around his partner. One hand has found its way into Rei’s hair. Rei had Kazuki held by the collar of his hoodie, staring at him. “I love you, Rei.” “I love you too, Kazuki.”

Silence fell once again, just for a moment, like it was often doing with just the two of them. It wasn’t awkward or an emptiness that needed filling. It was just… peaceful and comforting.

“So… what are we?” asked Rei, a pink tinge to his cheeks that crept up towards his ears. “We’re partners. Just like we’ve always been. Only now… we do this.” Kazuki leant over and kissed Rei’s flushed cheek. “Not everything has to change. We can just add to what we’ve got.” “I like that. Partners.” “Me too, Rei. Me too.” Kazuki pulled Rei into his arms, leaning back on the sofa. His partner curled up against him, pulling the blanket over them both, head tucked under Kazuki’s chin. “You’re comfy…” “Glad I make a good pillow.”

Rei closed his eyes. This was definitely a life that had been worth fighting for. Kazuki and Miri were worth it. This moment here was worth it.

[tiredhermitgirl]

Buddy Daddies Finale Spoilers

Ok this is going to be a long post because I have so much I want to say about this particular scene so I am sorry in advance! If you read it all than WOW you are awesome! If not you are still awesome and I understand why you don't want to read all of this!

ANYWAY LET'S A GO!

Ok so the scene I am talking about is when Rei confronts his "dad. "There was something so vindicating as well as heartbreaking about it that I don't think I will be able to articulate properly but I am gonna try. This was written and directed really well in my opinion and there is just so much symbolism in this one scene that my brain was analyzing the shit out of.

But like right off the bat, I love how firm Rei is. He says that he is leaving the organization and when his "father" tries to give him some spiel about how his fate is to take over the organization, Rei immediately interrupts him and re-emphasizes that he is leaving the organization. Like I love that for him so much because we all know for a fact that interrupting his "father" was something that he was too afraid to do because you know... ABUSE.

But what I also noticed was how the anime framed it. Like when Rei re-emphasizes that he s leaving it goes from his "father's" eyes to his eyes and idk I feel like there are trying to say something but i don't know what!!

Then what does his "father" do? He tries to shoot him. We obviously know that he is not trying to kill Rei. He is trying to get him to submit but Rei sees it coming and shoots him in the arm. Rei doesn't even look surprised which really begs the question... Has this happened before? Has his "father" shot him before to try to get him to submit. I wonder how many of Rei's scars are because of a mission and how many are because of his father? Like the implication of what his father just attempted and the fact that Rei doesn't even look shocked about it really pisses me off as much as it breaks my heart.

The fact that his "father" continues on by threatening Rei and those he loves... like sir... fuck off. But we have seen him do this before. This emotional abuse an manipulation to try to get Rei to comply.

But my brain also began turning because of what follows after that threat. His "father" says "Kill me, Rei. You can't escape your bloodline." Like his "father" is so doggedly determined to make Rei as much of a monster as he is. I feel like Rei's "father" killed his own father in order to become the head. That's what I visualized when I heard that line. I know we all wanted Rei to kill his "dad" but hearing him basically order Rei to, all I could think of was "no Rei don't do it. Don't give him what he wants because you are better than that." Because by killing his "dad" he would be proving that bastard right in that it is in his blood to be a killer no matter who it is, which is what Rei stated way back when it was his birthday episode. I can't remember the exact phrasing but basically Rei says he killed whoever he was pointed to and it didn't matter who it was.

Rei choosing not to kill him. Turning his back on his dad, who still had a gun within reach. Rei telling him all the things he experienced while being away from him just shows how much Rei has become human. It is basically a declaration to his "father" that he is not a weapon. He is not a tool. He is a human being. He was his son. And because he has come to realize that; because he has changed, he is worthless to his father. Because his father wants a tool, wants a weapon and Rei is telling him that he refuses to be that anymore.

He is telling him that blood means jack SHIT because it was Kazuki and Miri that showed him that he is allowed to want things, he is allowed to show emotions, he is allowed to BLEED. (visualize Rei shooting his arm and seeing the blood splatter on the floor. I think there is meaning behind that visual). His father can keep stating that he has Suwa blood and that it is his fate to inherit that organization because of that blood but the bond Miri, Kazuki, and Rei share is stronger than any actual blood ties that he has with his bastard of a "father."

But like... the frame after he shoots his arm. The way he looks when he says "I am worthless to you now. Aren't I?" like I am gonna be honest I teared up. Because while I do believe that he means he is worthless because he wants/ is choosing to be human, I think the way he is addressing this to his "father" is more along the lines of superficial. Like what i am hearing is "I am damaged goods now so I am worthless right? You can throw me away, right?" Because to me, I feel like Rei was using this method and saying it in that way because he knows his "father" does not care about his emotional wellbeing at all. He has to convey his message in a way that only his "father" will be able to understand. Like it is heartbreaking. The fact that Rei had to go to such measures to convey what he WANTS. And his face... He is not standing with his back straight, his face is not blank nor does it have a stoic scowl. It looks pained both probably because of the literal wound he just gave himself but also emotionally pained. It is a HUMAN expression. It is raw and unfiltered and to me it screams "look at me for who i am, not who you want me to be. I am not a robot. I am a person." And showing his "fathers" eyes narrow makes me believe that he understood both the underlying as well as the superficial message."

And then the ending. The way Rei drops the gun and turns his back to his father, as if saying I am leaving you and anything associated with this life behind. The way he allows himself to be physically vulnerable in front of someone who has shown they are not above hurting him. And the way he says "Farewell, Father." Like we haven't heard him call his "father," father since the flashback in episode 3. And we all know his "father's" response to him using that term. But the fact that Rei uses it one last time. As if to emphasize that from this day forward, he is gonna live as the person he is and wants to be rather than the robot/weapon his father made him. The fact that despite everything his father put hm through, Rei has enough humanity to still see him as a father even though his "father" probably never saw him as a son. Like this scene was so amazing to me and it was so beautifully done and directed.

Ok this rant is OVER! I am so sorry for those who had to suffer through this! Thanks for those who did tho! Can we be friends?

[meefy]

Brief Obi Thoughts...

Manga spoilers up to and including Ch. 40 ahead!

I've been thinking a lot about the scene in Akagami no shirayukihime Chapter 26 where Obi tells Shirayuki her thoughts "don't matter".

In Ch. 26, we see Obi telling Shirayuki, point blank, that her feelings (i.e., that she isn't angry at him for failing to prevent her kidnapping) don't enter into his mind when he considers his failure as her bodyguard. Now, considering how loyal to Zen (and doting on Shirayuki) Obi clearly is, I can see it being easy to mistake this scene as Obi being coldly dismissive of Shirayuki’s feelings - but I don't think that's it at all, and I'm disappointed that the anime changed the line (where he instead reassures her that he would never say such a thing).

Not knowing Obi’s backstory when he first appeared, I hazarded a guess early on in the story that wherever he grew up, he was taught that his feelings don't matter. He probably got into working as a hitman very young (canonically as young as 18) and we see him in a flashback in Ch. 32 very seriously hurt yet only focusing on the fact he had completed his mission.

That was enough to satisfy him.

In Ch. 32's present, he is surprised when people (Zen and Shirayuki) are worried about him going missing. And, much earlier in Laxd, he doesn't understand why Shirayuki isn't mad at him for shooting an arrow at her - because after, all isn't that the logical reaction? The notion that, "Oh, these people consider me more than just a bodyguard or assassin and actually have emotions" does not truly seem to cross his mind till 30+ chapters into the story.

At which point, him telling Shirayuki "no" when she asks if her thoughts matter makes sense.

He's not only been taught that his feelings don't matter, but that the feelings of others don't matter, either. It's why he lies so easily (using aliases, or giving fake intentions to the sailors as he searches for Kazuki, for example) and can ask such blunt questions - he is so detached from his own emotions and those of others that their reactions don't matter. He never gets close to anyone - and when you aren't worried about seeing someone ever again, it's easier to lie and offend them than it is with someone you care deeply about.

He's been taught the only thing that matters is getting a mission done - hence his not caring about being injured in his past, hence his telling Shirayuki that he failed her and that her forgiveness is thus meaningless. But Zen - and Shirayuki - are also different. They are not his "employers", by his own admission, but his "masters". They give him a sense of "home" and stability he has never had. I would, in fact, confidently suppose that it is because Obi cares for Shirayuki that he beats himself up so severely; he failed his mission to protect her - and as such, his caring about her, and her forgiveness of him, don't enter into his mind - at least, not at first.

But the reality is, he didn't just fail a mission, he failed one of the first people he has ever allowed himself to grow any sort of attachment to.

Obi developing a reciprocal bond with Zen and Shirayuki over time shows his growth as a person beyond a robotic killer-for-hire. And his going from "No, I don't care about your thoughts" to letting himself be held by Zen and Shirayuki in Ch. 40 (after assuring Zen that he isn't sick, that he has recovered, because he knows Zen will worry and he cares about what Zen thinks) shows so much of his emotional growth over such a short period of time. I'm proud of him!