#kaylan cares

[adascore]

Have I Not Given Enough

pairings: arsenal wfc x young!reader

warnings: crying. self-blaming. teen!reader reacting to losing against wolfsburg.

author's note: oh to be comforted by the arsenal girlies...

masterlist

•••••••

''We'll come back stronger, kid. Only the start for you.'' Caitlin patted her back before making her way to congratulate the Wolfsburg players.

The Arsenal striker stood on her own now, bathing in the misery of defeat. The worn pitch beneath Y/N's boots felt colder, a stark contrast to the warmth of anticipation that had filled the air just hours ago.

This wasn't how it was supposed to end. The set-up was perfect; Arsenal making it into the Champions League finals for the first time in over 15 years at a sold-out Emirates Stadium.

Bremer's extra time goal had ruined it all. The cheers had been replaced by a haunting silence, broken only by distant celebrations from the victorious Wolfsburg team.

The teenager was a sad sight as she tried not to burst out in tears, standing all on her own by the opposition's goalposts. The gravity of the loss weighed on her shoulders

Somehow she managed to move her feet towards the other players, going through the post-match routine: congratulating the Wolfsburg players, who in return offered their solace.

It was nice to have players like Popp express their admiration for the youngster, but in the moment she couldn't bring herself to care one bit.

''Nice goal, kid.'' Ewa Pajor patted her head, praising her opening goal of the match, the one that had kickstarted the long, grueling fight between the German and English team.

Y/N managed a weak smile, grateful for the acknowledgment.

''Hey, hey, Boneca!'' Rafaelle approached her. ''You should be proud of yourself, okay? Remember the noise in the stadium when you made that goal? Savor that feeling.'' Her Brazilian teammate told her, holding her close.

Katie noticed the interaction and decided to join them, leaving Teyah and Lia behind. ''Hey, girlie. Why the sad face? You've just made yourself a legend.'' The Irishwoman managed to genuinely laugh.

''We lost, Macca.'' A few tears escaped, but they were immediately wiped away by Katie and Rafa.

''Yeah, and it hurts. But you, baby goat, just scored in a Champions League semifinal against a club that has won this thing 2 times.'' She grinned, the pride she felt beaming off of her face as she used the playful nickname.

Y/N was pulled into a supportive hug by Katie, providing much comfort. Rafa affectionately pinched her cheek before making her way towards their other teammates.

As the huddle expanded, more teammates joined them, forming a circle of support around the young player who felt this loss harder than anyone else.

Jen held her close to her body, as if shielding her from the harsh reality of the defeat. The Scott wasn't telling her anything, just holding her as their teammates tried getting a smile out of her.

''I was like ''Yeah! Woo!'' The atmosphere was insane!'' Manu did an impression of her reaction to Y/N's opening goal.

''It's like the stadium came alive, it was so fucking crazy!'' Kaylan exclaimed, with animated hand gestures.

Y/N appreciated her teammates and their consolations. However, she couldn't escape the weight of disappointment that she felt within her. Despite their genuine efforts to coax a smile, the young player found herself unable to entertain them.

''Oh my god, you did so well, Y/N. You were amazing.'' Victoria hugged her as Jen let her go.

''Thanks, Vic.'' She mumbled on the Dutchwoman's shoulder.

The midfielder swung her from side to side. ''Don't cry, it's okay.'' She tried to comfort her younger friend.

Y/N felt another pair of hands on her back, hands that belonged to another Dutchwoman, although, this time it was not a teammate.

''Hey, meid.'' Jill greeted her, and Y/N pulled away from Vic, who said something in Dutch to her patriot.

''There's gonna come a day where you're gonna lift that trophy, okay? You've grown so much.'' Her former teammate praised her.

The teenager nodded. ''Thanks, Jilly.''

Jill planted a kiss on her head, bidding goodbye as she joined her teammates again in their celebrations.

As Victoria pulled Y/N back into her embrace, the teenager's gaze caught sight of the approaching figures of Kim, Leah, Beth, and Vivianne.

The teenager skillfully transitioned from hugging Victoria, gently slipping away as the crowd dispersed. She made her way to the bench, where the atmosphere was more peaceful as most people were scattered around the pitch.

As she settled on the bench, Y/N took a deep breath, her emotions threatening to surface. Before she could fully let herself go, a familiar voice interrupted her thoughts.

''Hey, what's going on?'' Steph, observant as ever, approached with concern etched on her face.

The striker tried to mask her emotions with a forced smile. ''Just disappointed.''

Steph nodded understandingly. ''I get it. But you got us through this match, and I'm very proud of you.''

''Thanks, Stephy- you were amazing too.'' Y/N quickly reciprocated the compliment, her eyes darting around.

The Australian noticed a frown on her face. ''Hey… you okay? You look like you're having panic attack.''

At her words, Y/N looked her straight in the eyes. ''No, no! I just wanna go home, to be honest.'' It wasn't a lie. All she wanted to do was to get in the car, and lie in her bed until it was time for the next match.

Steph nodded. ''Take your time, sweetie.'' The defender joined the squad on the pitch again, leaving the young one alone.

In the distance, Beth approached Jen, her expression reflecting concern. ''Hey, Jen, have you seen Y/N?''

Jen furrowed her brow, scanning the surroundings. ''Uh, she was with Vic like a minute ago.''

''Oh, alright. How was she doing?''

The Scott pouted. ''Looked pretty torn up, as you'd expect. Some of us were trying to cheer her up, but you know the kid…'' She made some sort of gesture that indicated she was not taking it well.

''Poor thing.'' The Brit sighed.

Back on the bench, Y/N remained in solitude, staring mindlessly at nothing.

''Hiding?'' The sudden voice of Rose, their physiotherapist, made the youngster flinch.

''Jesus, Rose!'' Y/N exclaimed, her hand on her heart.

Rose chuckled, unfazed by the reaction. ''Sorry, didn't mean to startle you. You looked like you needed a moment.''

''Yeah…''

The older woman nodded at her lack of words. ''It's okay. Take all the time you need. We're doing the huddle in a minute, though, so you might want to join that.''

''Yeah, I will.'' Y/N replied.

Contemplating the upcoming huddle, Y/N's unease heightened when her eyes locked with Kim's on the pitch. The captain started walking over to her with an unreadable expression.

Unable to face the captain she respected so much, she rose from the bench, pretending she hadn't noticed Kim's approach.

Rose watched as Y/N escaped from the interaction with Kim, giving the captain a sad smile.

The teenager's eyes scanned the pitch, Gio's friendly wave caught Y/N's attention, and she decided to make her way towards her friend.

''Tough match, huh?'' She said, trying to offer some solace.

''To say the least.'' The Brit sighed, glancing down at the ground.

''You okay?'' The Brazilian asked, Y/N's darting eyes were anything but subtle.

''Yeah, I just… yeah, I'm fine.'' She stuttered, not having the heart to actually say what she was doing.

Gio could sense Y/N's unease. ''Should I get Beth or Viv?''

''No, no! Just… I don't wanna face them right now.'' She admitted.

''Why?'' The forward didn't understand, knowing how close she was with the couple.

''I just… I- I can't do it.''

Gio nodded anyway. ''Okay, stay with me then. We'll hang back a bit.''

Kathrine joined them as well, the three youngsters keeping each other company while waiting for the entire squad.

In the huddle, Y/N strategically averted her gaze, fixating on the ground beneath her feet.

As Jonas addressed the team, the weight of disappointment pressed heavily on her shoulders, and she struggled to engage fully in the moment.

''I'm proud of this team. We're standing here in a sold-out stadium, and we gave them a fight. We didn't give up and we gave our everything until the end.''

The Swede's words were a mere distant hum. Her mind replayed all the crucial moments of the match, each missed opportunity being screened in her mind.

While the team absorbed Jonas's encouragement, Y/N continued to bear the weight of her perceived failure, the applause and cheers around her a muffled backdrop to the cacophony of self-critical thoughts.

Afterwards, Lotte pulled her in an embrace. Her England teammate's presence being a source of comfort.

The Arsenal homegrowns' moment was interjected by someone grabbing Y/N's arm.

''A goal against Wolfsburg or what?'' The England captain said.

The attempt at light banter didn't quite reach her heavy heart, the teenager simply shrugging her shoulders.

Leah, perceptive as ever, sensed her teammate's unease and tried to give a sense of perspective. ''Hey, you have so much to be proud of. Look at this stadium! This is only the beginning.''

Despite the skipper's encouraging words, tears welled up in Y/N's eyes once again. The disappointment was cemented in her mind.

In the midst of her emotional turmoil, Vivianne and Beth approached, their expressions reflecting heavy concern.

Beth's eyes softened as she pulled Y/N into a gentle hug, aware of the unspoken pain lingering in the air. Vivianne placed a reassuring hand on her back, silently offering support.

''Hey, kiddo, you were absolutely brilliant.'' The elder of the two said, caressing the back of her head.

At the lack of response, she continued. ''It's okay to be upset, sweetheart. You're feeling a lot, aren't you?''

Y/N nodded, her voice catching as she struggled to articulate her feelings. The couple exchanged worried glances, realizing the impact the loss had on their young teammate.

''I'm so proud of you, you gave it your all.'' As Vivianne expressed her pride, Y/N's emotions reached a breaking point.

Sobs escaped her, and she clung tightly to her mentor, seeking refuge in the strength she had always admired.

The Dutchwoman took over from Beth, pulling the youngster even closer to her.

''I'm so sorry, Viv.'' Y/N apologized, full of guilt for not bringing the team to the Champions League final.

As she continued to apologize, Vivianne gently cupped her face and whispered reassuring words. ''Don't apologize. It's not about the result on the scoreboard. You played with your heart, and that's the most important thing.''

Y/N, overwhelmed by emotions, couldn't shake the feeling of letting down those she admired the most. ''I wanted us to win, especially for all of you who couldn't play.'' She mumbled.

''You've made all of us super proud, lieverd. It's a journey, remember? You still have a long way.'' She whispered, her own tears betraying the depth of her emotions.

Leah reached out to rest a hand on the teenager's shoulder. ''Darling, you were without a doubt one of the best players on the pitch.''

''I missed so many shots.'' Y/N stated through a sob.

''And so did the others. Don't carry this on your own, my girl.'' Leah retorted.

Beth and Lotte, recognizing the rawness of Y/N's emotions, instinctively moved to shield her from the intrusive gaze of the cameraman. ''Can you not?'' The defender furrowed her eyebrows.

The players didn't want their teammate's vulnerable moment to be exploited. Fortunately, the crew listened and moved further onto the pitch.

''I made so many mistakes.'' She continued crying. The floodgates had opened and closing them would be a difficult task.

''You didn't, darling. Like Beth said, you were brilliant.'' Leah's own eyes were now being filled with tears, Y/N's self-blame making her emotional.

Y/N shook her head at the skipper's words, hiding her face in Vivianne's neck. ''You were, listen to Leah.'' The Dutchwoman muttered, caressing her back.

''Hey, Y/N. Hey.'' Kim's voice sounded out of, seemingly, nowhere. Leah moved out of the way so the captain could get closer to the teenager. ''You've got nothing to be sad about. You played a fantastic match. Yeah, we didn't get the win, but you've made the club so proud.''

Her voice was stern, but it was a loving sternness. ''Let's go and thank the fans now. They deserve a proper thanks.'' She urged the entire group to do a lap of the pitch.

As the squad gathered together and walked around, the players waved and applauded the fans. The defeat stung, but the bond, not just between the players, but also between the players and the supporters is something special and unbreakable.

Regardless of the result, they're celebrating the players as if they did win and Y/N felt herself smile as she looked into the crowd, and seeing the Gooners experience this with them, with her.

In a quiet moment, Kim approached her again. ''You're creating something special here, Y/N. The way you've got the fans behind you… you're like their own personal star girl. Please, enjoy it,'' the midfielder patted her back, ''because this is what I want you to remember from this match.''

A teary-eyed Y/N, managed to nod her head in appreciation. ''Thanks, Kimmy.''

The pair found themselves holding hands as they continued thanking the fans. It was a beautiful image as it represented the older and new generation of Arsenal; Kim, a captain with years of experience, comforting Y/N, someone who undoubtedly was the future of the Gunners, and could potentially become a skipper in the distant future.

[gardenschedule]

Paul enabling John

In contrast to Paul wrangling John

“Later on, when I was sent downstairs to adjust a microphone, I heard them chatting excitedly about the upcoming appearance [the Royal Variety Performance]. They were over the moon about it, even though it was obvious that they didn’t care for upper-class people in general. Ever cheeky, John whispered to Paul at one point that he was going to ask the toffs in the audience to rattle their jewelry instead of applauding. Paul’s reply was a taunting “I dare ya!” That was the kind of relationship they had: John was the bad boy, the rebel, and Paul—who of course wouldn’t dream of saying that himself—was the instigator, the one needling him on to doing outrageous things.”

Geoff Emerick, Here, There and Everywhere: My Life Recording the Music of The Beatles

This angelic quality [of Paul’s face] was not necessarily always reflected in Paul’s behaviour. Hoffman noted that though in terms of verbal wit he could give as good as he got, Paul’s replies lacked the caustic edge of John’s words: “There was never really any bitterness in Paul.” Yet it seemed to the photographer that the vicious vitriol John would pour on often undeserving victims was quite evidently to Paul’s pleasure. “In a way Paul wallowed in it, because John always played up to his requirements. It’s a useful thing to have somebody like that, who’s capable of putting down people you don’t like.”

Dezo Hoffman, photographer

To John’s further delight, he discovered that Paul was corruptible. In no time, he groomed his young cohort to shoplift cigarettes and candy, as well as stimulating in him an appetite for pranks. On one occasion that still resonates for those involved, the Quarry Men went to a party in Ford, a village on the outskirts of Liverpool, out past the Aintree Racecourse. “John and Paul were inseparable that night, like Siamese twins,” says Charles Roberts, who met them en route on the upper deck of a cherry red Ripple bus. “It was like the rest of us didn’t exist.” They spent most of the evening talking, conducting a whispery summit in one corner, Roberts recalls. And it wasn’t just music on their agenda, but mischief. “In the middle of the party they went out, ostensibly looking for a cigarette machine, and appeared some time later carrying a cocky-watchman’s lamp.* The next morning, when it was time to leave, we couldn’t get out of the house because [they] had put cement stolen from the roadworks into the mortise lock so the front door wouldn’t open. And we had to escape through a window.”

The Beatles The Biography (Spitz, Bob)

Graham led us around the corner, where the Fab Four were hanging with their dates at a private table in the back of the room. Well, actually it was the Fab Three—George Harrison was not in attendance. […] The deal was, Lennon was actually under the table taking Polaroid pictures up the skirts of his female companions while Paul lent a hand. Ringo laughed at everything, and Paul’s then girlfriend, Jane Asher, was doing her best to drag him out of there. Dressed in Carnaby Street’s finest, the Beatles were dimly lit, and a halo of light illuminating their mop-top hairdos added just the right ambiance to make this already bizarre scene even more surreal. Paul was ducking under the table himself now, helping his business partner illuminate the proceedings with his disposable lighter, and Jane was searching the booth for her coat as we approached them, with Graham in the lead. “I’ll be leaving now, Paul,” Jane said through clenched teeth as she pushed her way out of the booth and stood there, staring him down.

Howard Kaylan of the Turtles, in his autobiography Shell Shocked

Several times I saw him whispering to Paul and George, and then he’d wave his hands about and act like a spastic—a cruel but very funny routine he did frequently in the studio. I guessed he was saying to them, “Watch this.” Clearly they were taking great delight in the knowledge that they could manipulate the audience any way they wanted to.'

Here, There and Everywhere - Geoff Emerick, Howard Massey

George and Paul appear to have been slightly jealous of Stu and his influence with John, not that outsiders could see how much John admired Stu. John picked on Stu all the time and hurt him when he could. Paul, following John's lead, also began to pick on Stu, even though he was interested in art and, like John, was getting from Stu a lot of new ideas and fashions.

The Beatles (Updated Edition) (Hunter Davies)

"I remember I had a girlfriend called Celia. I must have been 16 or 17, about the same age as her...we went out one evening and for some reason John tagged along, I can't remember why it was. I think he'd thought I was going to see him, I thought I'd cancelled it and he showed up at my house. But he was a mate, and he came on a date with this Celia girl, and at the end of the date she said, 'Why did you bring that dreadful guy?' And of course I said, 'Well, he's all right really.' And I think, in many ways, I always found myself doing that. It was always, 'Well, I know he was rude; it was funny, though, wasn't it?'"

Barry Miles, Many Years From Now, 1997

Thereafter, it was John and Paul who brought in all the new material; they assigned each musician his part, chose the songs, sequenced the sets—they literally dictated how rehearsals went down. “The rest of us hadn’t a clue as far as arrangements went,” Hanton says slowly. “And they seemed to have everything right there, at their fingertips, which was all right by me, because their ideas were good and I enjoyed playing with them.” But the two could be unforgiving and relentless. “Say the wrong thing, contradict them, and you were frozen out. A look would pass between them, and afterwards it was as if you didn’t exist.”

The Beatles – Bob Spitz

“Lennon had attitude, and, taking his lead from Lennon, McCartney could be similar. At times, they reminded me of those well-to-do Chicago lads Leopold and Loeb, who killed someone because they felt superior to him. Lennon and McCartney were ‘superior human beings’.”

Bob Wooler in Mark Lewisohn’s Tune In

"When John did 'How Do You Sleep?' I didn't want to get into a slinging match. Part of it was cowardice. John was a great wit, and I didn't want to go fencing with the rapier champion of East Cheam-- But it meant that I had to take shit--It meant that I had to take lines like 'All you ever did was Yesterday.' I always find myself wanting to excuse John's behavior, just because I loved him. It's like a child, sure he was a naughty child, but don't you call my child naughty. Even if it's me he's shitting on, don't you call him naughty. That's how I felt about this and still do. I don't have a grudge whatsoever against John. I think he knew exactly what he was doing, and, because we had been so intimate, he knew what would hurt me and used it to great effect. I thought, 'Keep your head down and time will tell,' and it did because in the 'Imagine' film (Imagine John Lennon, documentary), he says it was really all about himself."

Barry Miles, Many Years From Now, 1997

[alotofpockets]

Take on the world | Vivianne Miedema x Arsenal!Reader

Where there are a lot of emotions around your girlfriend leaving Arsenal

Woso masterlist | Words: 1.4k

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The past week had been emotional, to say the least. Vivianne would leave Arsenal after seven years. You had played there with her all seven of those years, starting as friends and ending your time there together as girlfriends. Arsenal was your family, it was Viv’s family too. Players come and go in football of course, but this one hurt a little more than usual.

Vivianne was devastated, but she had no say in the matter. You tried offering comfort as best as you could, even taking a weekend trip to get away from it all before she would play her final game for Arsenal.

With her recurring injuries lately, you were glad she felt good enough to put on the Arsenal jersey one more time and play at the final match of the season. Her final match at Arsenal, and as if it was written in the stars, she scored from your assist with her first touch. The whole team had run down to join you in your celebration, making the moment even more special.

When the final whistle blew you went straight to Viv, normally you'd shake hands with your opponents first, but today you knew that your girlfriend needed you. The moment you wrap your arms around her, the world around you disappears. When you parted from the hug, your teammates stood lined up for their own hugs with Vivianne, so you stepped aside to give them their turns. 

You had been trying to stay strong for Viv, but the moment that Lotte brought you in for a hug, you couldn’t stop the tears from rolling down your cheeks. When you stepped out of your hug with Lotte, you both chuckled at your tear stained faces. She stayed close to you while your teammates each had a short moment with Viv. 

The whole Arsenal team formed two lines to give the players that were leaving a proper farewell. Kaylan and Sabrina were up first, you clapped along with the rest of your teammates when they walked between your lines. 

When Viv got ready to walk down the path, you couldn’t keep dry again. You watched Viv walk past with nothing but pride for the amazing footballer and person that she was, again clapping along with the rest of the team. Lotte and Steph, who were standing next to you, comforted you while Viv was being interviewed. 

You stayed by Viv’s on her final lap of Emirates Stadium, thanking the crowd for their incredible support. The two of you shed many tears in that lap, and the tears didn’t stop there. In the locker room they had asked you to do a little speech for Viv, since there were more speeches to be made today. You hadn’t really prepared anything, because you could literally talk about her for hours, and you felt like in the moment it would be the most heartfelt. 

“Viv,” You look her in the eyes as you start talking, “seven years you’ve been playing for Arsenal. I was one of the lucky ones that got to play here with you from the start, and watch you grow. You’ve been an incredible asset to this team, on and off the pitch.” You wiped away the tear that was about to escape, this moment was about her and not about you. “Most importantly, you are an important part of our family here at Arsenal, and know that wherever you go next, you will always be a part of it.” 

You meet Viv in the middle and engulf her in a hug. “Once a Gooner.” you say when you part, and the rest of the team chimes in. “Always a Gooner!”

A few days had passed since that last match against Brighton, and while the situation was still top of mind, the tears had lessened. Or so you thought. When you came back from your trip to the grocery store, you found Viv crying on the couch, with Myle and Rona cuddled up to her. You place the bags on the ground, not caring to put them away first. “What’s wrong, my love?”

You scooted in with your little family, and just like the dogs, you tried to bring your girlfriend some comfort. “So, you know how I’ve been getting offers from all over?” You nod and move your fingers through her hair. “I haven’t made a choice yet, but there are also clubs outside of England, like I told you.” You nod again, letting her know you’re following what she is saying.

“Well, I’ve seen some things online about you and your previous partners breaking up after them leaving the club or country, and it made me scared that maybe you would leave me too.” 

You pull her even closer into you, “Oh baby, no I would never leave you. I was young back then- don’t say that that means I’m old now” You goke in between, getting a chuckle out of your girlfriend. ”I was young back then, and those relationships would have never worked long with distance. You and I are different, our relationship is built to last.”

Viv sits up a little, “Yeah? You’re not just saying that to make me happy?” You shake your head with a smile. “I would never tell you something concerning my feelings if I don’t mean it, love.” 

You wipe away her tears,  and place a kiss on her forehead. “Can you give me a minute, baby?” Viv nods, “Of course, the groceries, go ahead.” You stand up and shake your head, “The groceries aren’t important right now.”

Within a minute you’re back in the living room. “I think this might be the best way to show you that I mean what I said. I’ve been wanting to do this for a while now, but it didn’t seem like the right time. I didn’t want to take away the focus from your return from your ACL, or the few stepbacks after, and definitely not with the latest news. This might also not be the perfect moment, but Viv, I need you to know that you are the one for me.” That’s when you pull out the small box from behind your back. 

Vivianne got teary eyed for a whole different reason this time, when she realised what you were doing. “You and me were built to last. No matter where you go next, for you I’ll take on the world.” 

You take a deep breath as the tears well up in your eyes as well. The smile on Viv’s face as you get down on one knee will be one you will forever remember. “Vivianne Miedema, will you marry me?”

She nods eagerly, “Yes. Yes, I’ll marry you!” Viv jumps into your arms. The dogs jump around you too, wanting to join in on the excitement. For the first time in weeks, both your tears are from happiness. You kiss your fiancée for the first time. Then finally after months of owning the ring, you finally got to put it on her finger. 

Viv made you clean up the groceries before you sat back down on the couch again, but after you did, you cuddled on the couch and admired the ring together. “So, hypothetically what would we do if I went to Barça?” You squeeze her hand. “Then I’ll get some nice vacations in the sun whenever I come to visit you.” She chuckles, loving the way you were alway able to ease her worries with humour. 

“And what if I would go for Manchester City?” You think for a second, “Then we will find a place in between London and Manchester, and I will wish you all the best in the WSL, unless you play against me.” She playfully shoves your shoulder when you say the last part with a smirk. 

Then she turns serious again, “No matter what I choose, we will be okay?” You nod with a reassuring smile, “Yes. You go make the decision for you, and we will be okay no matter what.”

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💗 If you enjoyed this fic, please consider liking, commenting, and reblogging! You can also supporting me by leaving a tip 💗

[meademalove]

And this is the later gram btw(posted on 19th of march) https://www.instagram.com/p/C4s5-ZWi4tJ/?igsh=eXYxMWVtd2EzbjNk

Lisa was still at westham at that time before people want to create things🤪. Kaylan was their goalie at that time

Who cares where Lisa is I don't keep track of her but yes you're right, thanks.

[stevenmartinez14]

April 8th 12:02am.

Happy 28th Birthday, Kaylan. 🙂 I pray you have an amazing day with the new addition to the family. You’re an amazing mother 🥹 take care of yourself and your beautiful family.

[fanficwolf105]

Fellas, is it gay to look at your friend(who you definatly did not have a crush on)after a day of babysitting and chaos in the middle of summer?

Anyways, here's more austin and stella au art with Silas and Freckles, Chloe's younger brother and Silas's future bf(and later on fiancee)

I have a whole story about why Silas was left home alone to take care of his tweleve very young, but chaotic half-siblings and step-siblings

Left to Right: Harper(Frisky x Kaylan)(4 y/o), Silas(Rad x Frisky)(15 y/o), Nia(Rad x Eve)(5 y/o)and Freckles/Chloe's Brother(16 y/o)

Nia is designed by @cringeytoon

[grumpycurbur]

Sooooo...

The 1961 musical, Flower Drum Song, was DEFINITELY an influence on Mark Volman and Howard Kaylan aka Flo & Eddie when they worked on the Care Bears Albums. I can prove it.

Yes, there's "Be A Bear" from 1983's The Care Bears Care For You which i mentioned before sounds like "I Enjoy Being A Girl" from the same movie.

Towards the end of the film, there's a song that 2 of the main cast characters sing called "Don't Marry Me". The film is on youtube, ummm... it's there... (i'm sure that song is on YT as well via movie clips, fortunately there's no need to change the playback speed as opposed to the other connection above)

AND, That song, when you compare it to the rhythm and the horns (audio/sheet music translation illusion)

"inhales"

Sounds like Grumpy Bear Song from 1982's Introducing The Care Bears!

I'm not kidding. it actually does.

listen closely, if you know you know.

[imgreynow]

If your reading this from a letter I left closest loved ones , then I am history lol.

this is my suicide note to all that care to know why I chose this route...

I'll list first the subject matter , on following posts will be in depth explanations for each of you.... I do love you.

1) mom

2)dad

3)siblings

4)Shannon

5)kaylan caliber jax

6)Jdub

7)Pigs(cops)

8) new mexico

A start obviously paragraphs will follow , before we begin 9-47.

[pernillemagda]

Danish Isabella Obaze has been sold for a record fee for Køge to an yet undisclosed club abroad 👏

HB Køge has sold Isabella Obaze to an as yet unannounced foreign club. The transfer transition is carried out with immediate effect and brings in HB Køge Women's largest transfer sum ever.

"It has been a difficult decision to let Isabella go, because we would have liked to see her continue here at the club. But we also want to be fair to our players and let them go abroad when a good opportunity presents itself – and this is it for Isabella. She has done fantastically after joining as a reserve from Kolding and she has developed into an A-national team player in HB Køge. We are proud to have contributed to that," says HB Køge director Per Rud about the sale.

Isabella Obaze joined HB Køge on a free transfer in January 2021 and is therefore leaving the Swans after two years at the club. She made her debut for the Danish national team at the Algarve Cup in February 2022 and also managed to win two Danish championships and play UEFA Women's Champions League football during her time at the club.

"On all parameters, we see this as a success story. For the club, but of course first and foremost for Isabella, who has been a fantastic person and figurehead during her time here. Now the time has come for her to take on the next challenge in her career, and we feel we have shown timely care and are well prepared for her departure," says Per Rud.

With the sale, HB Køge's internal record for the largest transfer fee received for a female player is broken. Previously, the sale of Kaylan Marckese to Arsenal F.C. the most profitable for HB Køge Women, but that record is now taken over by Isabella Obaze's move abroad.

[oculiaperticlausi]

Kaylane drifts her gaze across the ground, furrowing her brows. She's allowing Charlotte to have it but it's the outside, the world changes. How is someone supposed to stay up to date on it? At least there isn't trash everywhere. "Facts, our dare they let us get our shoes dirty." She teases, biting on her lower lip as she reaches down to pick up the cup. She hasn't cared much about what people think of her since high school, pressing her lips together as she shrugs her shoulders. "Everyone falls on their ass every once in a while, it's not a big deal... and I guess I'll have to buy another latte because I can't get through the day without coffee."

@brightstvrlights

"Honestly, it's a joke," Charlotte replies, shaking her head. "I'll ask my father to speak to someone down at the council about it. Like what are we, heathens? It's ridiculous." The blonde then picks up Kaylane's purse from the curb and hands it back to her before answering. "Okay well let's just say that if it were me, I'd hide my face for a few days. Also um, your latte found a new home all over the pavement." @oculiaperticlausi

[amberwild420]

OSB, TSF (pt. 54)

masterlist

enter; the super sons

Marinette looked at the eye bags under her eyes. The nightmare were getting to her and she couldn’t even stop anyone from worrying. The withdrawal of the inactive black cat was getting to her.

 She looked at the dream catcher on the side. Kaylan gave her a dream catcher to lessen the number of nightmares. She can only imagine what the nightmare would be if not for the dream catcher.

 Sighing, she got up. At least she got four hours of sleep. It was a victory against her sleepless nights in the beginning.

A new day Tikki.

 A new day Marinette.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Emerald green eyes glared at the crowd before spotting his friend. Damian Wayne was scowling at his tardiness.

 Stop slowing me down, Kent.

 Jon, the sunshine, smiled before eagerly looking around, taking in all his eyes could see. It was so new and so………different.

 Back at the league, after the chimera attack, the league choose the two of them to investigate and help with the akuma attack and assure the miraculous team of their full support.

  Damian agreed right away. As long as he can stay away from his crazy brothers, he can take all he can get. And trying the Luna to be is adopted sister was just another plus of this trip.

 Jon agreed because he was a pure sunshine who wanted to be with his best friend and make sure that Damian wouldn’t stab someone. What’s more, it’s a good trip paid by the Wayne’s. There is no way he will say no to that.

So where do we start?

 We are going to take a look around, if we’re lucky we can get to see an akuma attack, if not, then we’ll familiarize ourselves.

 Damian walked forward, his famous scowl present as always. Jon smiled before joining him as well.

 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Are you sure?

 Yes Kagami, I’ll be fine.

 Marinette smiled brightly at the fencer, who still looked unconvinced. Chloe sighed; Luka strung his guitar while Kaylan nibbled on the chocolate chip cookies that Marinette has provided them. The Kwami floated around while nibbling on their treats.

 When the whole gang gathered the first thing that they discovered was the dark bags under her eyes and thus Marinette was forced to talk about her nightmares. And that brought the mother hen within Kagami.

 Mari-hime, you…..you need to tell us when you face such things.

 But I’m okay.

Actually Mari-bear, you look terrible.

 Luka!

 You have to listen to them melody.

 Marinette make a face before turning to the last person in the room. But instead of paying attention to any of them, she was observing the dream catcher.

  The gem is turning black.

 She stated before looking at the bluenette.

 Sorry Hun, you’re on your own on this one. I can’t save you.

 The dream catcher in her hand floated before black gem started returning to its original color.

 The indicator was clear. She didn’t say anything about extreme nightmares and she had to listen to her teammates nagging her. Marinette slumped her shoulder sighing in defeat and listen to Kagami nagging her for the next hour.

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Sabine knocked at the trapdoor, stopping the rowdy noises in her daughter’s room. With a smile, she greeted them.

 Marinette, can you look after the counter? Your dad and I have to fill a large order.

 We can help as well.

 Don’t know who said but all of them dragged Marinette downstairs, with her mother laughing in the back.

 Luka took a seat near the counter before stinging her guitar. Chloe, Kaylan and Kagami started small chores, while Marinette took the counter.

 Just in a moment, the small bell rang and two teenagers entered the bakery. From the looks of it they looked quite new to the place.

 Welcome to Tom & Sabine Boulangerie Patisserie.

 Marinette greeted while the rest just looked at them up and down. Luka ignored and kept stringing his guitar.

 Jon looked up at the bakery with awe. Just looking at it was enough to make him curious what’s inside. So here he was dragging Damian to the bakery.

 The pretty blunette welcomed them with a smile making Jon animatedly asking for recommendation. Damian, who normally doesn’t interact with anyone, also looked interested in what the blunette was pointing at.

 In the end they bought all the macaroons (courtesy of Damian) and promised to return (Damian even nodded at the girl making Jon shocked).

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[notwhatyoucameherefor]

Posting really shitty memes about my fancherubs instead of actually talking about them like a functional person pt 2

[bbbrianjones]

the turtles, 1966

[raktanag]

"Not Kaylan... It's Kalyan. Kah-lee-ahn"

He repeated so that he'd understand his name. It was a common mistake among Westerners to mispronounce his name and many other names.

"But yes, we're kin, I ssssuppose"

The name rang a bell, though.

Edgar... Edgar...

"OH!" His eyes spiraled again "You're the doctor Hannah told me about, the one taking care of James as he recoversss. Oh, then I'm more than happy to meet you!"

He slithered down to touch the ground with his underbelly and bowed again "May you be blesssed"

His eyes swirled out of sheer joy as the man said so. What a nice coincidence! And he was glad this one had his same views about family

"I met them long ago, James was hurt and Hannah was lost, I helped her find her father and heal him. Took a matter of time but we bonded She's like a niece to me"

Even if he looked in his early thirties, he liked being the wild nature loving uncle to the little girl. Oh wait, introduction.

"Ahem" he bowed "Kalyan, of the Naga bloodline. Also known as Rakta Nag and Snake with Man's Face. Namassssste to you"

[sam-whump]

Rw part 13: Care

Sam had been placed in bed and two doctors had been called in by Jason. They checked her vital stats and then went on to cleaning and bandaging wounds, while also trying their best to make her drink, despite her half-awake state. After they did what they could, they left the room. Jason had not let them get out of his sight for a single moment.

"Get me another blanket. She's freezing cold." Jason told Kaylan who did as he was told. It was rare for anyone to see Jason like this. He normally had someone else take care of hurt people.

He also ignored what most doctors had said, that it was better to let her go, it would be less pain for her. But Jason did not want to let go.

Sam was vaguely aware of everything that was going on. She kept drifting in and out of sleep.

Kaylan just did what he was told, not quite understanding why Jason was so protective all at once.

And Jason just kept giving out orders. He wanted her to get better as soon as possible. He was determined to get her back to health. Even if it meant staying inside the room for days straight, as long as Kaylan was at his side.

As they day passed, Sam got better and worse at different times. Sometimes she wasn't even awake and was hot because of the fever, while other times, she just seemed tired but fine further. Jason had been busy all day adjusting the amount of blankets to her temperature.

As the night came, it made him feel scared. For some reason, the night always seemed to bring along trouble. Kaylan had said Jason good night and had gone off to sleep in his bed. Jason made a mental note to talk with Kaylan later and explain everything. He just needed to focus on her first now.

He had been holding her hand since the moment she came in, with short breaks when he adjusted the blankets.

"Hmm." Sam muttered as she opened her eyes again. She still felt like shit, every muscle ached and her mouth was as dry as the desert. "Wa?" She asked. Saying the whole word cost her too much energy.

Jason nodded and jumped up, almost running to get a glass of water. He helped her sit up and even held the glass to her lips. "Little sips. I don't want you to choke on it. Take it easy." He told her and Sam did what he said. It took a few minutes until they finished the glass, but they did it.

Jason helped Sam lay down comfortably again and even stroke her hair. She just smiled a little bit at him and seemed to enjoy the gentle touch. She drifted asleep again and no matter how tempting it was, Jason stayed awake.

It was only when the morning came and the doctors entered to check up, that he allowes himself to close his eyes for a while.

Sam was getting better bit by bit. They gave her some more water and even fed her some already cut food that was easy to chew and swallow.

They were a little worried about the infections that seemed to form on the wounds. They weren't surprised as she had crawled through dirt with them, but they had tried everything to prevent infection.

Jason was starting to grow more and more tired every day as he barely slept. At one point, he had fallen asleep in the chair. Kaylan had seen it and had placed him in bed next to Sam. Nothing could happen anyway as both were asleep. But Kaylan was not having it. He was fine with Jason wanting to take care of someone, but not if it cost him his own health. He planned on having a harsh conversation when Jason woke up again.

Except that he never did. The moment Jason woke up with his hair all over the place and saying good morning with his hoarse voice, Kaylan promptly fell in love with him again.

"Morning, beautiful." Kaylan smiled and helped Jason get out of bed. "How was your nap? I hope you don't mind that I put you in bed. You looked rather uncomfortable in that chair." Kaylan explained while holding Jason in a loose hug.

"You did great. Thank you. Can I have some water? I think I snored. My throat feels rough." Jason replied. Kaylan nodded and got him some water, which Jason happily drank.

"There is just one thing I don't understand, Jas. Why are you so caring about her when before you were torturing her?"

"Well. You see. She is basically my property, got my mark and everything. I am the only one who is allowed to hurt her. And she came back on her own, meaning something really bad must have happened. I want to know what." He explained.

Kaylan nodded as he understood what Jason was saying. He was just about to ask what would happen after she was back to health, when Sam woke up.

She managed to push herself up with difficulty, but smiled proudly as she managed to do so. "Water?" She asked again. Sam still had a bit of a headache, but it was becoming less. She would normally have used healing magic on herself, but wasn't strong enough for it at the moment.

"Sorry." Jason whispered as he let go of Kaylan to fetch a glass of water and give it to Sam. She drank it without needing any support, spilling a little here and there, but that didn't matter to her. Her health was clearly improving again, despite the nasty infections that sometimes caused her to have fever and almost make it seem like she wasn't healing at all.

But as a week passed by, Sam was feeling better again. She felt fine, but was in reality still weak with a light fever. Sam by now could walk little parts of the room, almost far enough to reach the tap for water herself.

Jason had managed to let it go a little and was spending more time with Kaylan again, the two never got enough from each other.

One afternoon, Jason walked in again as Sam was just waking up. "Hey. How was your nap?" He asked before sitting down in the chair.

"Nap? It feels like I slept for a week and still am tired." She laughed. "But it was good. Thank you for asking."

"Okay so uhm. I was wondering if you wanted to tell me what happened that made you come back here." Jason told her. He decided that being honest was the best at the moment.

"They wanted to execute me. They threw me into one of the dirty cells and no one even bothered to feed me or give me water. I still don't know for sure how I made it all the way over here without dying. Anyway. The third day finally someone, Blake, came. But he didn't bother listening to me. He thought I had betrayed Eloreth and had joined you and Goem. He sentenced me to be executed, but I got so terrified. It all happened so fast and suddenly I was just on the run. I can't even remember what happened exactly." She explained. It was not the first time that she had used magic and not remember what happened afterwards, she needed to get a better control over it. But those things took time, and Sam never had the patience for it.

"Wait. No one bothered to come and give you water for three days straight? Monsters." Jason muttered the last part. "Good thing we're at war with them. They'll pay dearly for this. I'll make sure they get my revenge." He spoke, not even meant directly at someone.

"You shouldn't. I want to, Jason. I want to make them feel my revenge for what they did. For leaving me there to rot. Even you came to visit me when you held me here." Sam sounded rather determined. All the love she had felt for Eloreth had evaporated and replaced with hatred.

Jason nodded. "Alright. But you get better first. I'll make you one of my knights and you're not doing anything until I tell you. Okay?"

"Wait. Really?" She smiled and hugged him. "Thank you so much. I'll tell you every weakness I know about the kingdom, so that we can burn it down to the ground and dance on its ashes."

Jason was a little surprised by the hug, but smiled after all. He felt weird, like an odd warm feeling was growing inside of him. He knew what love felt like, he had Kaylan after all. But this was different. He decided that he could talk with Kaylan about it later.

"Sounds like a great plan, go back to sleep for now. You'll need the strength. And just know, I want to make you the best, but that doesn't come without a price." He told her.

Sam happily nodded. She was willing to give him anything she could possibly give. "Goodnight." She layed down again and closed her eyes.

Jason gently moved some hair out of her face. "Goodnight." He replied before standing up and walking out.

[farfromharry]

Beth [ 14 ] | Dad!Eddie Munson series

Fourteen, turning nine

Word count - 4138

Warnings - none i dont think, idk

a/n - this part is also 98% written by miss @kaylans-imagines

━━━━━━━━━♡���♡━━━━━━━━━

April 1995

April was seen as the month of new beginnings; the month where a majority of the flowers begin to bloom and the smell of pollen permeates the air. Many started off the month by doing their long overdue cleaning, emptying out attics and organizing garages. But you and your extended family welcomed the new month with a celebration. The birth of Beth Munson. It was only fitting that the exuberant, brighter than life, little girl was born the first of the month. 

You thought back to the first time you heard about her birthday celebrations. She had turned four years old, ranting excitedly about her time at the zoo and the way she conned Steve into buying her ice cream and her prized stuffed animal. Now she was turning nine, and you could only reel back as you thought about where all the time had gone. Anytime you thought about it, it gave you vertigo. Never would you have imagined you were going to celebrate with her, seven-months pregnant with her baby sister, but fate was nothing if not funny. 

The Thirty-first of March was brought to an early end with the young girl practically running to her bedroom at eight in the evening, eager to bring in her day. You and Eddie had only chuckled, tucking her in and placing kisses on her forehead. Beth was usually jittery before big events, unwilling to go to bed. She always wanted to stay up well past her bedtime and watch the clock tick until it was midnight. But this time around was different. 

Eddie had been charged with preparations for his baby girl’s birthday; sending out invites to rally up their friends and family and picking the location. You had given your input every so often, filling in the blanks in his plans when he couldn’t, but other than that, it was all Eddie. Watching him try to ensure his daughter had the best ninth birthday he could provide made you cherish the man even more, and it eased your debilitating nerves whenever you thought about his doing the same for the little girl nestled in your stomach. 

It didn’t surprise you when Beth climbed into your bed at the dawn of April First, unintentionally waking up her baby sister with her squirming and expeditious words. She had thankfully ceased her habit of jumping on the bed, not wanting to hurt you or your bump in any way. But that didn’t stop her from sitting on her father’s chest, roughly waking him up from his slumber. “Beth, sweet girl, it’s too early.” He groaned, wanting to go back to sleep. The birthday girl didn’t care. She brushed off, persistent in her endeavors. 

“But it’s my birthday,” she reminded. She definitely didn’t need to. It wasn’t like either one of you could ever forget such a momentous day. But Eddie wouldn’t be Eddie if he didn’t tease. “Your birthday was last year, sweetheart.” It was a silly joke that he had started when she was old enough to talk and comprehend phrases, and she was older now, able to grasp a better understanding of birthdays and how they worked, but neither daughter nor father cared. They would keep their traditions around for as long as they could. 

Beth pouted, turning to you in disbelief. Once his daughter was distracted, his fingers went straight to her ribs, drawings surprised shrieks out of her as he tickled her. She fought against him, wriggling in an attempt to get away from him. Eddie stopped himself, but kept his hold on her, bringing her into a tight hug with a kiss to her temple. “Happy birthday, sweet girl.” 

The smile on her face was blinding. You figured now was the perfect time to share with her your excitement for the day. Sitting up–though it was rather difficult with the added weight in your middle–you pressed a kiss to her cheek and ran a hand over her head. “Happy birthday, darling.” She beamed at you and her father, eager to start the day. So much so that once she knew the two of you wouldn’t go back to sleep, she was scampering out of the room and rushing to get ready. She was thrilled to find out just how her father was going to surprise her this birthday. 

When the enthusiastic girl was out of the room and replaced by the family pet, Eddie turned to you, one hand immediately going to your ballooning stomach. He looked at you with concern, brown eyes taking in your exhausted frame. As much as you loved the idea of bringing another child into this world, one that would be oh so loved and potentially looked like your husband and daughter, pregnancy was no walk in the park. And he knew that. “You think you’ll be okay for today?” By the time the day came to a close, you would no doubt be exhausted beyond compare, but no way were you going to miss Beth’s birthday. You would push through anything for the girl you had come to consider your own. 

“I’ll be fine,” you promised, squeezing his hand in reassurance. “I am not missing that little girl’s birthday for anything. I wanna see the look on her face when she sees the bike we got her.” 

“You’re positive?” He asked once more for confirmation. You only stared at him blankly, nodding at him. It was sweet, the way he was worried about you. But it was also bordering on annoying. “I’m sorry. I just wanted to make sure.” You couldn’t stay irked with him, he was so caring. And the sheepish look on his face was more than enough reason to kiss him softly. 

Despite not knowing just how you were going to spend her special day, Beth was practically forcing the two of you out the door. She wanted to get to the location quickly. And after a mini argument that occurred between you, Eddie and her about not being able to take the beloved family pet with you, you three were on the road. Beth was practically bouncing in her seat, looking out the window and asking if specific spots were the location of her party, and everytime, Eddie would say no with a laugh. 

The birthday girl had given up on asking about an hour into the drive, realizing that if she didn’t anticipate, time would go by much faster. It seemed to work because not even half an hour later, her father was pulling into a parking space. Beth jumped out of the car before she could stop herself, instantly smelling the oceanspray and the slight breeze it brought with it. She couldn’t contain her squeal, looking at her dad with wide eyes. “The beach?”

Eddie nodded, matching her grin. He hated the beach; he always managed to get sunburnt and he despised the feeling of sand, but his daughter had a love for it that he couldn’t explain. So he sucked it up if it meant she got to spend it in one of her places, swimming to her heart’s content. And the absolute glee on her face made it worth it. She grinned at you, speechless and simply dying to get in the water and play in the sand. But she couldn’t, not until she had changed into the bathing suit you had packed for her (Eddie did tell you about his plans; he could barely keep this secret from his daughter.) And not until their family and friends showed up. 

The freshly turned nine-year-old was anxious the entire three minutes it took for the familiar maroon BMW to pull up beside Eddie’s van, a smiling Steve driving it. You could see Max’s familiar red hair in the backseat, stuck between the two carseats of the Harrington girls. You briefly wondered where they had sat Dustin, considering they had told you he was going to come in with them. Your question was answered when you saw him pick himself up off the car floor, grumbling to anyone who would listen about his sore ligaments. No one in the family cared.

“Steve! Tully!” Beth exclaimed, rushing over to her pseudo-aunt and uncle and jumping into Steve’s arms. The older man was quick to take her in, pulling her into a tight hug. You knew she would have done the same to her favorite ‘aunt’ had she not been pregnant and helping her daughters out of the car, so, instead, Beth settled for giving her a tight squeeze. Tulip smiled at her, bending down to place a kiss on her head and motioning for her girls–who were holding onto their moms hand–to do the same. It was the sweetest sight; seeing Beth interact with the toddlers she considered cousins. Your heart melted hearing both of them utter a ‘happy birthday, B’ to her in their lipsy toddler talk. 

You followed behind them, searching for the perfect wooden table to lay your belongings down. It wasn’t necessarily a beach, you’d come to find out, more like a state park. But you were sure it didn’t matter to Beth; the little girl was happy around in any type of water. While the rest of your friends and family joined you; Eddie, Beth, and Steve all rushed off to the water, the Harrington girls in tow in the arms of Dustin and Max. You were itching to get off your feet, instantly taking a seat on the wooden bench. You felt kind of bad for leaving Tulip to unpack all the bags you had brought, but you knew she would be more than understanding. It wasn’t until she was done that you sparked up a conversation with her. Noticing the way she ran her hand over the small pooch she had. 

“You already have a bump?” You couldn’t help but ask, “aren’t you only two months along?” 

Tulip sighed, nodding her head. “Yeah, I know. I asked the doctor, she said it was because this is my second pregnancy.” It made sense, you figured, nodding along to her explanation. You’d have to bring it up to Eddie later. For now, you sat content under the shade of a tree, greeting everyone as they joined you, all of them holding gifts for the birthday girl. 

Eventually, after everyone had finally arrived and the sun was blaring down on the people playing in the water, you called Beth and Eddie back to you for what you knew to be one of Beth’s favorite birthday traditions. The birthday cake. Eddie had been in charge of the cake, making sure they decorated it to his approval. He had been so nitpicky with it, wanting nothing but the best for his daughter. Of course, with Eddie, things could never be normal. The moment you all had finished singing happy birthday to Beth and she had blown out the candles, Eddie was removing them and cradling the back of her head. You thought the sight was adorable, how tender Eddie was being with his eldest daughter. Until he was pushing her head forward, destroying the work the bakers had so tirelessly perfected for him. You gasped, waiting for Beth to get angry at her father for seemingly destroying the beautiful pastry. But that didn’t come. Instead, she took a handful of cake and rubbed her small hands across her father’s face. 

It was moments like these that you were grateful you were prepared for anything. You figured something would happen to it, so, you had stored a cake in the extra cooler you had brought. With a disapproving sigh, biting back a chuckle as the two Munsons threw cake at one another, you pulled out the homemade cake and set the other aside. While you were cutting slices for everyone, your husband had the nerve to ask you for one.  “Oh, no, Munson. You are the reason the other cake isn’t good to eat anymore and our daughter’s covered in icing. You can wait.” Tulip laughed from beside him, taunting him with her own hefty slice of the dessert. 

Beth, in her youth, ran back to the water as soon as she finished her piece, the older ‘kids’ trailing after her. Eddie was getting old, not having the same amount of energy as they did. He took a seat beside you, hands immediately going to rub your bump. He caught sight of Steve doing the same to his wife, absentmindedly as he fed one of his two daughters (the other being fed by her mother). With a furrowed brow, he called his best friend. “Tulip, why are you so big already? Aren’t you like two months?” You swore you saw Tulip’s eye twitch. You knew that if she wasn’t in the presence of her daughters, she’d strangle the man she called her best friend. Your jaw dropped, instantly kicking his shin. 

Steve looked at him, offended for his wife. “Dude!” His exclamation had Eddie shrugging his shoulders, “I didn’t know how to word it!” You could only facepalm, shaking your head at the man you married. Eddie kept digging his grave, attempting to salvage himself and the situation. He only made it worse. “Are you sure you’re not having twins again, Tulip?”

“Shut up, Eddie,” she growled, glaring at him. You were half expecting her to cover her daughters’ ears and curse him out. But that didn’t happen. You figured it was because it was Beth’s birthday that she kept herself from hurting him, and part of you was grateful for that. You did not want to deal with a pain ridden Eddie Munson. 

You waited until later in the day to call Beth back to the picnic tables, allowing her to have the time of her life in the water and sand. When she returned back to you, covered in sand and hot from being under the blazing sun, hands interlocked with Halley and Lyra, you couldn’t help but smile. “You ready to open presents, pretty girl?” She nodded vigorously, excited to see just what she had gotten. 

Watching the little girl so ardent on the wooden bench, reveling in the way everyone was showering her in love made your chest hurt. It ached for her. You knew she was better off without her birth mother–from the minimal time you spent around her, you could see she didn’t have a single maternal bone in her body–but it made you wonder just how some people could have children and not love them. Those thoughts brought forth your own, unwillingly lamenting over your own less than stellar childhood. 

You thought back to your own ninth birthday, watching the clock tick down until there were only five minutes left. You had sighed and blown out the single candle on the cupcake a teacher had given you. It was the naive childlike thinking that had you wishing they would show up, even if it were just for a few minutes–you wouldn’t even have minded if your parents came in drunk. But they didn’t show. Not until two days later, not even so much as uttering a quick ‘happy birthday’. That was the day you stopped hoping for the best from them, knowing they would only give you the worst. You thought it would make you feel better, but you found it only made you sadder. 

There were often nights you would lie awake, wondering just why your parents had a child if they weren’t going to care for her and love her the way they should have. Those nights were the worst, they sent you into dangerous territory. You couldn’t think of a time when they were nurturing, when they would cradle you in their arms and protect you from the horrors of the world. You often pondered whether or not they held you as a child or if they simply let you cry yourself dry. 

You swore to yourself one night, sitting outside your trailer and wishing on the stars, that if you were to ever have a child, you would love them with every piece of you. You would never let them think they were a burden or that they were alone. They would have your heart and your care. But just because you had made that oath to yourself didn’t mean you have underlying fears of not being able to uphold it. You figured it was the trauma that came with having to be your own parent that had you scared of the possibility of failing; of not being the best mother your daughters could ask for. 

You were happy to keep those negative thoughts to yourself, not wanting to damper the happy mood surrounding you all. It was Beth’s birthday–it was definitely not the place to bring up solemn thoughts and petty fears. So, you kept it bottled up, watching as your heart slowly broke itself down. You were overjoyed at the prospect of Beth having more than enough presents for every occasion that called for it, no child should ever have to go wishing they could get even one measly present. Beth showcased each item she received happily, thanking the gifter with a dimpled smile. Especially you when your husband presented her with your gift. 

“A bike!” She gasped, forgetting about the other presents on the table. “Thank you, dad. Thank you, mom.” It had been Eddie’s idea, not yours. Her thanking you for something you barely had any part in made you feel bad. It only solidified your thinking; you were a bad mom. You didn’t even know what would make your daughter grin so wide it hurt her cheeks. It had all been Eddie. But you pushed that aside, giving her a kiss on her curls. “You’re welcome, pretty girl.” 

After all the gifts had been opened and you collected the trash, Beth had started a game of tag; tagging an unsuspecting Robin and running off before the older woman could process what had happened. Now that everyone was distracted, you found yourself consumed by your thoughts. Your husband none the wiser, cheering his little girl on from beside you. Instead of drowning in your evil sentiments by yourself, you decided to key him in. After all, he was your husband. 

“Eddie?” you muttered, eyes focused on the mixed group of younger and older kids– older kids meaning the ones in their early twenties that you couldn’t view any differently– running around the park grounds. They were being chased by Dustin now. The redhead, whom you adored, was following along with the birthday girl, making sure her curly haired friend couldn’t get to her. Your husband noticed where your eyes were, smiling softly at the sight. “D’you think I’ll be a good mom?”

You were slow to turn your head to look at him, scared to admit to the fear that was building in your chest. The same one that made you feel like you were going to explode.

It should have been easy to see his response coming. Obviously he would never let you think those thoughts about yourself. But you were blinded by nerves. “Are you kidding? You’re gonna be the best mom.”

“But what if I'm not?” He didn’t know where this sudden lingering of doubt had appeared from, or if the emotions that accompanied it were due to the overwhelming pregnancy hormones. He planned to get to the bottom of it though.

His hand reached for yours, the one that had been blindly rubbing your swollen stomach as you fell deeper into the dangerous rabbit hole of your thoughts. Eddie wasn’t amazing at giving uplifting speeches, nor did he tend to say the right thing in a situation where someone he cared for was feeling down. But with you it came easy. He just wished he knew what had his sunshine so cloudy. “Talk to me. Tell me what’s going on.” 

You didn’t want to dampen the mood, not at his little girl’s birthday party, but truly you couldn’t help but think back to your own shitty mom. There wasn’t, up until recently, a good motherly figure in your life, so you had no idea how you were supposed to raise a child. With Beth it was different, Eddie had already done the hard part, and he made the big decisions— but this one? This one was just as much your responsibility, if not more. “I don’t know how to properly bring up a child. My mom… was awful. I basically raised myself.” 

Despite growing up so close together, only a couple trailers away from each other, as kids you never really spent time together. No one in that park had the greatest parents, and he always assumed he had it a lot worse than some. But he never considered what your experience had been like. He knew they were around, he’d seen them before, but he’d also seen you wait on the steps of the trailer as a little girl (no older than five) to see if they would come home that night. Thinking back to it now, shattered his heart. No child should have to go through that, but that didn’t mean you would be anything like them with your own baby.

Eddie had always admired how you acted with Beth. You were patient, understanding— caring, most importantly. There were things you could do that he would never be able to, like be a rational adult when she cries. Whenever his baby cries to him he’s ready to put up a fight with whatever or whoever is behind the tears, but you, you provide a solution that doesn’t resort to violence. Everything you have done and will do in terms of being a mom to not only Beth, but the daughter you were growing too, is admired by him. 

“If you can raise yourself to be this incredible, ‘M sure you’ll do a pretty good job.” His lips were curled into a grin, and that was what told you he was teasing. Actually, he wasn’t, he was semi-serious with what he was saying. 

You rolled your eyes. “Eddie, I’m serious. What if I turn out like my mom? What if our kid has to grow up like I did?” you whispered. “I don’t want her to be alone, or scared, or stay up late in freezing temperatures wondering when mommy and daddy are coming home. Not like I had to.”

Never had you opened up so much about what you lived through as a child, and it pained him. You were sunshine, the happiest girl he’d ever seen in Hawkins throughout his entire life. He had always commended the way you went into everything with a smile on your face. Only now was he finding out that might not have even been real. If he had known how much you were suffering as a kid, he would have helped you in a heartbeat– anyway he could. “I- Oh.”

You laughed, dryly. “Yeah. Oh.”

“You won’t be like that, Y/N. This is different.” He sounded so certain of it that it was hard not to believe him. “You have me, Beth and the entire huge family we’ve got to help you out.” You knew any single one of your beloved friends would help you at the drop of a hat. If you called any one of them at random to babysit because things were getting too much, you bet your ass they’d be there in seconds to do it. “There is no doubt in my mind, that you will be the fucking greatest mom ever. Better than mine, and yours, and Steve’s– maybe not Tulip’s. But you’re gonna do so good. And I’m gonna be by your side every step of the way.”

With teary eyes and a muttered ‘I love you’ you accepted the kiss he placed on your lips, a very brief one that still somehow managed to be interrupted by the sound of a gag a short distance away. Eddie pulled back to see his little twin staring right at you both, practically begging him to join in the game that was being played. “Alright well, that’s my cue,” he said, pushing himself to his feet. “Thank you for being honest with me, sunshine. But right now, this old man has a game he needs to join in.”

You watched on. Your nerves had only been slightly soothed, but you figured if you were a shitty mom, then at least your newborn would have her father. And he was the best one she could have. 

It wasn’t until you were tucking Beth in later that you felt the lingering despair disappear. She looked at you with wide, gorgeous mocha eyes and smiled sleepily at you, thanking you for the birthday party. “I had so much fun. I love you, mommy.” 

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