#kate willis

[kirstythejetblackgoldfish]

[howlett-variants]

Jackmans as troubled birds

[atomic-chronoscaph]

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984)

[bangchansrose]

hugh jackman but in his most attractive roles

[kittiewales]

day 1 back and already touching his ass in front of the world again

[pedroam-bang]

Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doom (1984)

[thebubblesoutlet]

My twitter feed the last few hours-

-Failed willy wonka experience for kids at Glasgow 

-Missing Kate Middleton

-Who yelled at rebecca ferguson? 

- Julie ragbeer at the 97 year old diner where they no longer serve coke the old fashioned way 

-The weird landing at the top of the stairs 

-That tiktok video of swifties crying to exile outside the arena

- Bradley Cooper saying he doesn't love his daughter

- People being surprised that the Mormon tradwife failed to raise the chicken and slaughter it before dinner

[youwouldntdownloadapizza]

The Pleasures of The Unknown | Kate Middleton x The Unknown (Glasgow Wonka Experience 2024)

masterlist | ao3 | follow @youwouldntdownloadapizza and turn on notifications for updates

When Kate Middleton mistakenly ends up at a magical chocolate factory in Glasgow, she finds herself drawn to a mysterious cloaked figure with a penchant for dark chocolate.

pairing: Kate Middleton x The Unknown (Glasgow Wonka 2024)

rating: 18+, minors DNI

word count: 1.2k

tags: crack, crack treated seriously, crack fic, smut, mild smut, finger sucking, chocolate, sex and chocolate, light BDSM, choking, thigh riding, rpf, bald harry styles, balddry, infidelity, glasgow, willy wonka experience - freeform, glasgow willy wonka - freeform, Balmoral, british royal family, unhinged innuendo

chapter warnings: smut, infidelity

Kate Middleton stared at her bangs in the Buckingham Palace bathroom mirror.

"I can't go out like this," she complained to William. "The Sun will rip me a new one!"

"Kate, my dear," he kissed her on the cheek, turning to lean against the counter. She continued tugging at her botched fringe until he took her hand. "It's just hair. It'll grow back."

"That's rich, coming from you."

William looked down at his royal bunny slippers with a frown. Even they had more hair than he did. Perhaps he should have them fashioned into a wig. He'd have to ask his frenemy, Harry Styles, for wigmaker recommendations.

"I don't know what to do." Kate looked up at her husband with tears in her eyes. He wiped them away with his royal hanky.

"I do," he smiled. Sliding his hand into his back pocket, he produced the royal AmEx.

"Take a holiday, Kate. Go to Balmoral or Hollyrood for a few weeks. Grow them out. Maybe even get that BBL you've been talking about getting. Scotland is a great place to recover from surgery. What with all the free healthcare and all, innit?" he said Britishly.

"You're so right, William. I'll leave first thing tomorrow."

---

Kate double-checked the address her husband had given her as she stepped out of her royal Uber Black.

"This can't be the right place. Balmoral was never this colorful!"

The cabbie rolled down his window. "Don't worry, ma'am, this is Willy's place! Be quick and get inside, it's looking like rain."

With a soft 'innit', the driver pulled away, and Kate was left on Willy's doorstep.

She assumed 'Willy' was short for her husband 'William', but as she entered the foyer, she began to have her doubts. The place appeared to be some sort of magical chocolate factory.

Although sparsely decorated, the place maintained some air of whimsy. Well, less of an air, more of a spritz, but clamato, clamato.

"Soo la voo," Kate shrugged, walking beneath the sparkly, styrofoam rainbow and towards whatever fate awaited her here.

"Ahh, more guests! Welcome!" A depressed-looking woman in a green wig approached her.

"Here, compliments of Willy," she said, sliding a plastic cup containing a splash of what appeared to be sparkling lemonade into Kate's left hand. Into her right went a single jelly bean.

"What is this?" Kate asked.

"Our welcome gift to you! And only $40, such a deal."

Kate supposed $40 was a fair price for such splendor. After all, if bananas were $10, this was surely worth four times that. She popped the jelly bean and washed it down with the lemonade.

"Carry on down the hallway. Your future awaits."

Kate left her luggage and her empty cup with the so-called Oompa Loompa and proceeded down the bare linoleum hallway. That uncanny-valley candy landscape tapestry really ties the place together, she mused.

A voice greeted her at the end of the hall.

"What. Is. That?" A blonde man in a red top hat and coattails pointed towards an unassuming mirror.

Why, that's me! Kate Middleton! Kate Middleton thought to herself.

Kate nearly leaped out of her skin when the creature emerged from behind the looking glass.

"It's...THE UNKNOWN!!"

That's when Kate fainted.

When she awoke, her head was spinning. "Where am I?" She asked to the blackness that surrounded her.

A deep voice answered her. "You're in the walls. This is my home. My own dark chocolate factory."

"Your what?" Kate asked.

As her eyes adjusted, she realized she was in a small bedroom combined with a confectionary workspace, almost a studio apartment of sorts.

"My dark chocolate factory. You see, Willy Wonka seeks only to pump this world full of river-churned, high-fructose, milky delicious bullshit. What I aim to create is something far more sophisticated. Far more complex. And far, far darker."

"Oh? Might I try some?"

"Why of course," the silver-masked, black-hooded creature pulled back its sleeve to reveal long, nimble fingers.

He crossed to his chocolate worktable and dipped his index and middle fingers into a whirring chocolate fountain. The creature stalked towards her, extending the sample.

Kate leaned towards him, but froze. "Before I suck on your fingers, I should probably know your name."

The creature angled his head, as if considering her. "I have no name. I am only...The Unknown."

Kate's heart raced in her chest. That chocolate, those fingers, it all looked simply divine. And if William could be unfaithful, why couldn't she do the same? She deserved it, just this once. As a treat.

She opened her mouth, and The Unknown slid his fingers past her lips. She sucked deeply, the flavor sliding across her tongue and down her throat, the complex flavor and intensity of the delivery method sending shivers down her spine.

"Are you cold?" He asked.

"A bit," Kate admitted.

"Well then," she could hear the smirk in his voice even if she couldn't see it on his face. "Perhaps I'll have to warm you up myself."

Kate bit her lip. "Would you...put your willy? In my chocolate factory?"

His fingers closed around her throat. She drew a sharp breath.

She could feel his breath as he whispered in her ear, "Forget willies. Forget chocolate factories. Allow yourself to submit, to embrace the pleasures of The Unknown."

Kate let out a shuddering breath as she gazed up at that shiny mask. She didn't know what lurked behind it. She didn't care.

She kissed him then, the plastic of his mask hard against her soft lips. And then she was sprawled on the bed, his knee between her legs, and she was grinding against him.

"Oh, The Unknown!" She moaned.

"Please, there's no need for formality. Call me The."

So Kate did. She sounded like the gilded first word of a sponge's term paper as she wailed his name over and over again, into the dark stillness of this secret room behind the walls.

"I'm close," Kate moaned.

"Good girl."

He leaned down to kiss at her neck. The rough edges of the cheap mask scratched at her sensitive skin, but she didn't care. She was lost in the pleasures of The Unknown.

It was the hair that brought her to the edge, something her husband could never give her. The chemical scent of his cheap, black wig filled her nostrils as she rode his thigh, dangling there on the precipice.

"Ohh!" Kate screamed as she came, her thighs shaking with pleasure as she clenched around nothing.

A low, satisfied chuckle rumbled at her throat, and she swooned. After all these years of marriage, William had never rocked her world like this masked stranger just had. As they lay there together, she slipped into the chocolatey darkness of slumber, utterly content.

---

When Kate returned home, butt bigger and bangs longer, William had wanted to hear about her experience in Scotland.

"What was your favorite part?" He asked.

"I learned a lot about myself on this trip," she told him. "But the most valuable lesson was in learning to embrace the pleasures of the unknown."

"See, a little uncertainty is good sometimes!" He teased, tugging on her much-improved bangs before giving her a soft kiss.

"Mm," he smacked his lips. "Tastes like chocolate."

[vertigoartgore]

Quentin Tarantino's Pulp Fiction and Peter Jackson's Heavenly Creatures both turns 30 today. Feel old yet ?

[6starsart]

Hi sorry to randomly bother you again today but I as I said earlier I went looking translation differences since you got really interested to see how many there were but I couldn’t find any that were ‚big‘ only ‚small‘ ones like slightly sentence structure changes and slightly different wording

So I was wondering if I was simply overlooking/overreading some of them. So I directly compared the English translation and the German translation of the first volume and have found a few that I can’t believe I missed while first looking for them

1.

I have to be able to read Lady Kate's every wish from her eyes

2.

No no —> oh, not at all

Hit —> pushed

3.

Maybe I need to be oiled

4.

That's a shame

5.

you have a really sunny disposition

6.

Let‘s get along—> I'm pleased (as in I'm pleased to meet you)

I hope we can get along —> I am also pleased (as in I'm pleased to meet you too)

7.

technically translated it would be „it's been dealt with“ or „it’s done“ but in this context it’s more like „forget about“

DONT APOLOGIZE!!!!!!!! IM VERY GRATEFUL YOU'RE GOING THROUGH ALL THIS EFFORT JUST TO SHOW LITTLE OL ME ALL OF THIS,,,

this is the best ,, small changes here and there are always so fun to see. Like how Mia's laugh gets changed from "ufufu" to "tehehe" or with Emilico thinking she needs to be oiled like a machine (save her. save my poor girl emilico...)

ALSO THANK YOU FOR THE ADDED CONTEXT.. The direct translation makes sense (since the soot did deal with itself) but if Emilico is just going "Forget about it" is WAY funnier.

Again thank you so much I am LOVING these little finds you're doing. They're so interesting and cool and gaaahhh T0T

[bluejaysandblackbats]

What Fic Should I Add To The Masterpost?

Bruised Figure: 6 chapters; in progress; Jason Todd, Catherine Todd, Willis Todd, Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, Cass Cain; No capes AU/Figure skating AU

Midnight Swan: 5 chapters; in progress; Jason Todd, Kate Kane, Bruce Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth, Joker; Jason Todd lives AU

Pidge: 20 chapters; in progress; Jason Todd, Original Character(s), Kyle Rayner, Bruce Wayne, Artemis of Bana Mighdall, Dick Grayson, Tim Drake; Found Father Jason

Adrenaline: 8 chapters; complete; Jason Todd, Willis Todd, Catherine Todd, Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, Alfred Pennyworth; Not an AU but a series of non-canon flashbacks

[sothisisablog]

Chronically online test

[kittiewales]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[pedroam-bang]

Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doom (1984)

[whatever-color-of-the-rainbow]

Happy International Asexual Day to the following characters:

Sadly none of these are canon