#kate finding a picture of him and going insane over it

[chadillacboseman]

Music Monday Thursday

During his days with the Federovs, Alex was kind of a d-bag. He wore his hair down, had an obnoxious gold chain on his neck, and a stud in his ear.

He also drove a blacked out Hellcat and may or may not have had a little bit of a drug problem.

Kate (@thesingularityseries) gives him grief about it.

This song is essentially the soundtrack to those days-

I feel like a Hollywood star Hand full of pills, all black car. Rock guitar & 10 shots of whiskey Got a chain on my neck & a massive hickey You say you're a big deal? Big deal. I've been a big deal ever since big wheels Shit's real. I feel, like a supermodel who just skipped a meal

[sentientcave]

Retirement Party

Interlude A

Read on AO3

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Contains: No Y/N (2nd POV but Reader is an OC), Kidnapping, Forcible relocation, Plus-sized Reader/OC, female Reader/OC, John goes to mandated therapy, Manipulation, domestic daydreams, abuse of CIA connections, hey Kate's here!

~3.3k - MDNI - Less of a darkfic at this point, but just be mindful

It’s strange to be back in London.

John still comes here once a week— A staunch refusal to switch to a new therapist, even if it would save him the short flight from Aberdeen Airport every Friday, his whole day eaten away by travel and the hour appointment with Dr. Clara.

He doesn’t like her. She thinks he’s stubborn and resistant.

She’s probably right.

For the first time, he thinks it might be a good idea to switch. Or stop coming in personally, conduct therapy online. Being away from Dalisay bothers him. He doesn’t like that she’s alone in the house. If something happened, he’d be so far away. She’d seen him off, kissed him at the door, said she’d make dinner for when he got back. She wasn’t going anywhere. She didn’t want to. He had to trust her, even if it was a difficult thing to do.

It would probably kill him if he came home to an empty house.

“How have you been, John?” Kate’s voice on the phone sounds worried. He must have been in bad shape when he saw her last week. He hardly remembers. He feels like his old self again, centred, steady.

“Good. Better. Soap introduced me to someone.” Introduced being a generous term for what happened. “She’s been stayin’ with me.”

“You’re seeing someone?” The surprise in her voice is palpable. “John—”

“She’s somethin’ special, Kate. You’d like her.”

Kate hums in a way that implies that she doesn’t believe him. “What’s her name?” she asks, faux-casual. She wants to look Doll up.

“Dalisay Valmorida.” In truth, he wants to know more too. Without any resources, he couldn’t find much. Doll kept her social media private, and snooping through her email hadn’t revealed much of anything either, except lead him to a totally anonymized profile on a kink website that told him that she was interested in submission and ropes (could she be any more perfect?), and had a few pictures of the prettiest tits he’d ever seen. She has a tattoo on her ribs, apparently, floral and intricate, and he wants to drag his teeth over it. Hopes he gets a chance to. “But I’m not worried. She’s a sweetheart, Kate.”

“She’s staying with you?”

“Yeah.” He wracked his brain for something that wouldn’t sound both criminal and insane. "She was living in a bad neighbourhood, and lost her nanny job. Soap—”

Kate makes an amused sound. “Thought you needed looking after, huh?”

“Somethin’ like that. We were in a position to help each other, I s’pose.”

“How long has she been there? You didn’t mention her when I saw you last week.”

“She’s only been there since Friday night. Her place got broken into, we moved up the timeline.”

“There’s something you’re not telling me.”

“Kate, there’s lots of things I’m not telling you.

“John, when you say you’re seeing her…”

“It’s new. It’s nice. I have a good feeling about Doll. I’m trying not to rush things, but you know me.”

“Well. Let’s grab lunch after your session. I’ll see what I can dig up before then. Usual place?”

“Sounds perfect.”

“Alright. See you then.” She hangs up, brusque as ever.

He gets off the tube at the next stop and walks to the low-rise office building his therapist works out of. Greets Brenda that works the front desk, sits in the waiting room. He’s fifteen minutes early, just like always.

He sends Doll a text while he’s waiting, just asking how her morning’s going, and gets a response almost right away, a picture of the puppy they’d gone to see last week. The picture’s blurry, the pup too excited to hold still.

Doll: Mel came by after she dropped the kids off at school. We’re having tea at hers (:

John: Have fun, sweetheart.

His chest loosens a bit. She wasn’t planning on leaving him. She’s making friends with his friends, putting down tentative roots. He didn’t have to worry. He didn’t have to worry. He thinks about talking to Melissa about adopting the little thing. Seeing Doll coo and fuss over a puppy would probably make him act like a fool, but she’s been forgiving about the more honest things he’s said so far.

"John?" Dr. Clara calls him in. "Nice to see you. How was your trip down?"

"Fine. Same as always." John sits in the usual chair, and looks around the room like usual, clocking everything in it's usual space, except the tissue box on the table and a trashcan sitting closer to the chair than it’s usual position. Every other week the appointment just before his is a watery sort of woman, but he had been looking at his phone rather than at the door, letting himself relax enough to not notice the woman leave the room. "How are you?" Its a perfunctory question, going through the motions of politeness.

"Good." Dr. Clara settles into her own chair, notebook out. She's close to his age, beautiful in a cold, precise sort of way. Thin, a perfectly straight razor sharp bob framing her face. "Who were you texting?" she asks.

This throws off their rhythm. Usually she starts by asking if he'd done any of the journaling she asked him to do (he never did), and then if he'd gone down to the local legion to connect with other veterans (he hadn't).

"I— She's a friend. Of Soap's. Stayin' with me for a bit. String of bad luck, poor thing, lost her job and her apartment got broken into in the same week." The half truth comes more easily the second time. "She was really shook up."

"And you don't find the introduction of a new person into your routine disruptive?"

John frowns. "I think her comin’ along was disruptive in a good way. I needed to change some things around."

Dr. Clara raises her eyebrows. "Oh?"

"Eatin' better. Couldn't be arsed to cook just for me, but I'm gettin' three squares a day now. Haven't had a drink since Saturday. She likes a cuppa around the same time I'd usually have a night cap. Sleepin' a bit better." He bites back a smile. "The other day, I was workin' outside while she painted-- She's an artist, and a bloody good one— and she reminded me to rest my ankle. Still gets sore when I push too hard."

"Tell me more about her."

"We're still getting to know each other, but she's sweet. Patient. Not afraid to tell me what she thinks."

"Why would she be afraid?"

"I can be… well, you know how I can be. And she's just a soft little thing. Wouldn't blame her if she was nervous." John shrugged. "She's beautiful too.. Brightens up the whole room when she smiles. And funny. Makes clever comments. And has this way of celebrating moments for no reason at all. Had me spinnin' around in the rain the other day. Thinkin' about gettin' her a puppy."

Dr. Clara taps the end of her pencil on her notepad, clearly conflicted. This is the most John's spoken in a session without her having to pull it out of him word by word, but… "A puppy? John don't you think that might not be an appropriate gift for a woman you've known for, um…" she looks at him expectantly, waiting for him to fill in the gap.

"Well. A week," John admits. "But we've got a real connection. Something special."

"Is she planning on staying with you long term?"

"She might. I'd like her to."

"So you have intense feelings for a woman you don't know, and all your short-lived progress is based on her presence, is that what you're saying?"

John's eyes narrow. Of course it sounds crazy to her. She doesn't know Dalisay. "I know her."

"Do you? You met her just a week ago, John." Dr. Clara sighs. "Do you think maybe you see winning her over as a mission? That you're returning to that rigid military mindset that brought you to me in the first place?"

John shakes his head. "It wasn't the military mindset that brought me here. It was those damn pills."

"John—"

"No, I know what you're going to say. Don't bother."

“John. If you know what I’m about to say, I’d like to hear you say it.”

He huffs, and looks away, drumming his fingers against the arm of the chair. It’s hard to meet her steely gaze for long. He doesn’t like being scrutinized, and that’s all these sessions are. "You'd usually say something like, almost losing Soap led me to take risks I shouldn't've, that I blame myself for his injury, that the stress of trying to make sure my team never got hurt in a field where getting hurt is inevitable put me under tremendous stress, and that my own injury left me with nothing but time to contemplate my guilt. The pain killers were a way to turn the feelings off."

Dr. Clara nods, a wry smile tugging at her lips. "So you do listen."

"I don't see what this has to do with Dalisay."

She gives him a pitying look over her reading glasses. "You don't give yourself room to make mistakes, John. That inflexibility is the problem. If you build good habits on someone else's foundations, what happens if they leave? You'll be right back where you started."

“You’re so sure she’ll leave?”

Dr. Clara sets her notebook down in her lap and leans forward, hands clasped together. “It’s not about her, John. It’s about you. You are worth doing this work for. You have to be able to stand on your own two feet. People are fallible. Things happen, we lose people we care about. It’s part of living. The only person you can’t live without is John Price.”

He crosses his arms. “You told me I needed to make connections with other people.”

“I did. And you still should. But this is not what I meant and you damn well know it. Jumping into a relationship when you’re still struggling like this is not going to be healthy. You’re headed for codependency at best. If you really care about this woman, you need to consider what she needs too. If she told you she was seeing a veteran that struggles with substance abuse, that turns any negative feelings into anger, that can’t compromise or be flexible, that needs to be in control—”

“I get it. I’d tell her she deserves better.”

“So be better, John. Start with the journal. Actually buy one before you go home. There’s a stationary shop down around the corner.”

He snorts. “You get a commission for sending your patients there?”

“Yes, John, you’ve unearthed my diabolical plot. I’m in cahoots with the stationary store,” she says dryly. “It doesn’t matter where you buy the damn journal from. Write your feelings on the back of a receipt for all I care. Just try. If all you write down every day is that you hate that I’m making you do it, that’s still progress.”

“Alright, alright.” He supposes he can cede a little ground. Dr. Clara has been going on about that since their first session, so maybe there’s something to it.

He finds himself walking into the stationary store and breathing in the scent of paper and ink and glue. It reminds him of Doll’s art store. He wonders if she’d like a place like this. Probably. She’d probably tell him to listen to Dr. Clara too.

Running his fingers over the spines of the shelf of journals, he stops at one with a soft leather cover. He pulls it down and thumbs through the pages. He doesn’t know what he’s looking for exactly, but it has lines and a spot for the date at the top of each page, so that’s probably good enough. The man at the counter asks if he needs a pen too, and he glances at the one the man’s holding, a fountain pen with a shiny wood-grain finish, and swallows the no that nearly leaves his tongue.

“Sure. Yeah.”

He meets Kate at a pub not far from the London base. She’s still working, of course, just like he should be, but unlike him, she didn’t have a breakdown that cost him everything. When things happen that Kate can’t handle, she can beak down privately, and her wife puts her back together, better than new. He’s been envious of that for a long time, of that stability that Kate gets to come home to.

She’s working on something, tapping away at her phone when he settles across from her, but she glances up and gives him an apologetic smile. “Hey, John. Just give me a second, I have to finish replying to this email.”

He just nods, used to this. Kate’s always in the middle of something. He waits patiently while she works, and quietly orders a tea when the server comes around to ask.

He doesn't miss the questioning look from Kate. She sets her phone down and really studies him, eyes narrowed.

"What?" He asked.

"We've gotten together for lunch almost every week for the past year, and this is the first time you haven't ordered a beer."

"Don't feel like having one."

"You're sleeping better too. You look good, John."

He couldn't deny that he felt better. More like himself. Settled in his skin, engines rumbling, ready for anything. "I guess Doll's been a good influence. You looked her up?"

"I did. Not much of a presence online. Found an old art blog that she hasn't updated for years, has a couple of very sparse social media accounts. Was two years into a fine arts degree from Manchester university when she switched to english lit. Worked part time as an educational assistant in an elementary school, and then started working for Kevin and Isla Kinsey five years ago."

"That's it?" He's not sure if that's a relief or a disappointment. He knows most of that already.

"No. She's had some involvement in anti-war groups, nothing major, but I pulled that thread all the way to the terrorist attack on Piccadilly Circus back in 2019. Her parents were both killed."

"Huh." That explained a lot.

"Michelle actually knows her. She curated a show that Angela— her mother— was featured in. That's why they were in London in the first place."

"Christ. No wonder she dropped painting for so long."

"Has she picked it back up? She should call Michelle once she's put a few things together. She has what Michelle calls a compelling story."

"I'll let her know." He sighs. "Anything else?"

"She's an only child, but there’s lots of family in the Philippines, a grandmother in Aberdeen. A few cousins in Canada and the states. Pretty much all clean, keep out of trouble types. There's not much more I can tell you from my end, unless you want me digging through the filing cabinet at her old therapist's office. Old school, offline records." Kate shrugs. "I could. But I think you'd be better off just talking to her."

"Probably. Thanks, Kate. Kinda had it in my head that she was too good to be true." John flashes a smile at the server when she brings him his tea, and orders a salad, which really has Kate looking at him like he's mad.

"You keep this up, you could come back to work," she says. "You just need Clara to sign off on you. Which means consistency."

"Yeah. I'm tryin' her journal idea. Not sure that I'd go back anyway. Maybe it was just time." A few weeks ago, he would be chomping at the bit to go back. But now that there’s something else to give him some purpose, he’s not sure he wants to.

"Up to you. You're not there yet anyway. Now, I want to hear about this girl from your side." Kate picks up her soda (always diet, always something caffeinated) and gives him a pointed look.

He talks about Doll for a bit, gets a bit more work talk out of Kate, and when they part ways, they tentatively talk about Kate and Michelle coming up to meet her before long. It’s a nice thought. He'd like to get the lads back up too, but Kate’s a safer bet to start. Doll might forgive the boys if they grovel enough, and if things are looking promising between her and John. It's always easier to justify an overstep if the results are ultimately positive, so he has to make sure that Dalisay is happy and settled before he considers it.

It'll be a tough road if she doesn't want to reconcile with them. Not impossible, but he wants all of his people to get along. He wants his kids to know the men that have stood by him for all these years.

He sends a few texts to Dalisay, but there’s no response. He spends the short flight rationalizing why she might not have noticed her phone. Maybe she’d left it in her purse when she got back from Mel’s, or let the battery run out. She wouldn’t leave without telling him. She wouldn’t.

By the time he gets to his truck, he’s convinced that something’s happened.

He makes the hour drive back in forty minutes, parks erratically, and runs for the house, gravel sliding under his feet, his ankle twinging.

He tumbles through the door, half expecting a disaster, a crime scene, and instead sees something out of his most revisited domestic daydreams, set to some bouncy sort of pop music.

Dalisay is leaning over the stove, hips moving to the music, wearing a pretty floral skirt, socks pulled up over her thick calves to the knee, her feet sliding on the tiles as she moves. Her soft dark hair is up in a messy bun, a pencil and a paintbrush stuck through it. The whole house smells amazing, whatever she has cooking sure to be well worth the light lunch. There's a painting started on a canvas set up in the living room, just a soft gradient of blue and gold. And best of all, when she does a little spin and notices him at last, she beams at him. "John! You're home!"

"I am," he agrees, grinning back when she throws herself into his arms, squeezing him tight around the middle. He wraps his own arms around her shoulders, relishing the press of her soft little body against his. "How was your day, Doll?"

"It was really nice! I had a good time chatting with Mel, and I made dinner. And dessert even." She doesn't make any move to pull away, just looks up at him, pretty dark eyes fixed on his face. There’s an echo of relief in her eyes too, like she had been as worried about him, as he had been about her. "I'm glad you're home safe. You really go all the way down to London every week?"

He nodded. "I could change doctors, but I get lunch with a friend while I'm there— Kate. You'd like her. Maybe, once you're settled in a bit more, we could invite her and her wife up for dinner."

"Oh, that would be nice. So long as she's more sane than the friends I've met so far."

"Considerably. Can I kiss you hello?"

She hummed, as though she were considering it, although the laughing look in her eye said yes long before she gave a verbal affirmation.

He's the luckiest man in the world, he thinks as he leans down to kiss her soft lips.

Things are looking up. Things are good. And it's all thanks to to her.

He's going to make her the happiest woman in the entire world. She deserves nothing less. She deserves his best too, and he’s determined to be a better man than he has been in a long while.

She breaks the kiss by dropping her heels back to the floor. “Are you hungry? Dinner’s almost ready. We have time for a cup of tea first, if you’d like.”

“Sounds perfect.”

Image Credits: Banner - Banner Background - Dividers by @/cafekitsune

[kateandanthonyaremyparents]

What about a parent trap au?

OMG yes!!!

Think about Kate and Anthony living somewhere in Spain, far away from their families. Kate Sharma lives in New York and Anthony Bridgerton spends most of his time in London. They met when they were on a holiday and when Kate got pregnant they decided to move back to where it all started.

Only for them to realise being away from your family is HARD. Even when you're starting one of your own. So they fight, a lot. They fight about the twins that Kate's carrying. Where will they go to school?

"NOT private school, I don't want them to become snobs,"

"You think I'm a snob?"

"Well.. kind of? I mean, you're cute and all, but you're also very posh,"

Or about work.

"Are you going to work tonight again?"

"I am, go back to sleep."

"Kate.. that's fucking 5 nights in a row."

"I know, but you can't fight the rush of adrenaline when inspiration hits."

"You better come up with a good painting, since you're probably missing our anniversary breakfast."

"Oh, fuck."

"You didn't remember? Great."

Or just a new them choosing a new rug.

"I hate green inside the house, green belongs to nature."

"Well I like green, it reminds me of the gardens back home."

"I forgot about that.."

"You forget a lot lately."

"I still remember enough."

It is safe to say things aren't going good. They took a leap of faith with moving to a foreign country, and it turned out to be difficult to say the least. But in the end, both Kate and Anthony believed the love they feel for each other is enough. They'll make it, because their love feels like the love their parents share, and they would he fools to throw it away.

Once the twins are borne they help a LOT, Miles and Edmund are amazing little bundles of joy. The boys are sriving their parents insane with love during the day and insomnia during the night. They're getting better. Love did is worth fighting for. The boys are living proof of it. So ultimately they've decided on school, work, holidays, interior, life.

They still bicker, but that's just them. They might be young (23), but they want to grow up, and old, together.

Life was perfect again, until their fathers die it truly was. But disaster strook, first Milan Sharma died on Wednesday, and Edmund Bridgerton followed on Tuesday.

They couldn't cope, couldn't chose, couldn't mourn.

Anthony went back to England with little Miles.

Kate flew to New York with little Edmund.

They wanted to make it work. But Anthony has to take over the company from his dad, and Kate needs to be there for her mother sister. It's complicated, they meet two times before they admit this isn't working, they need to separate. Completely.

Edmund knows he has a sibling, he knows he's across the ocean. He's reminded of him every day when he looks at the picture of his brother on his mother's nightstand.

Miles is aware his father loved only one woman, his mother. His mother who had another child. Which may or may not was the reason his papa was so alone and sad all the time. He hears his father talking about Neddy to his Granny. He's curious, because why couldn't that woman handle him? He was only a child when the woman and his father broke up. Was he a bad kid? Didn't that Neddy kid like him? Was he the cause of their break up?

Now imagine them on soccer camp in France.

Anthony dropping his boy off before he went to a work event.

Kate sending her talented son to the best summer camp there is. Going on a roadtrip through France to regain some inspiration.

What will happen next?? When after two days Miles bumps into Neddy, seeing the resemblance. Finding out things about the other, connecting the dots...

[violetswritingg]

Canary Cry

Robin/Nightwing (Dick Grayson) x OFC!

Description: Her violence was silent. Until it wasn't.

"I'm fine."

"Fine is just another word for drowning."

Rating T-M (mentions of blood, child abuse, mental health, cannon situations of violence and the like. Loss of parents, hard of hearing/deaf character, poorly written fight scenes lol)

Want to read the other chapters?

Click here

12

MOUNT JUSTICE

August 19, 19:39 EDT

"Initiate combat training." The computer's monotone voice assistant spoke over the intercoms, counting down from three. Goldfinch, Miss Martian, and Artemis standing off to the side as Kaldur and Superboy go at it in the lit up ring.

"Kaldur's nice, don't you think?" Artemis asked coyly, looking at M'gann out of the corner of her eye. Kate's eyebrows scrunching in confusion at the seemingly random question. "Handsome, commanding... You should totally ask him out."

"He's like a big brother to me," M'gann denied, "But you know who would make the cutest couple? You and Wally." Kate wanted to be anywhere else right now but she could see it. The whole opposites attract thing. Like something out of a book, or movie.

She didn't hate boy talk, it's just something she has zero experience in and therefore would prefer to not do it. But just because she didn't want to be here doesn't mean she didn't appreciate romance; she was still silently rooting for Superboy and M'gann to become a thing.

The three girls all turned to look at the speedster standing a couple feet away, practically inhaling a burrito, "You're so full of passion, and he's so full of..." The Martian trailed off awkwardly.

"It?" Artemis asked with a smirk, the three sharing a look before laughing. Kate had been working to actually see Artemis as a part of the Team and Arrow family, per Dinah's request and multiple occasions of meddling to get them to hang out outside of training and the cave.

"On the topic of cute couples, how about Kate and Robin?" Artemis asked slyly, raising an eyebrow at the songbird of the group. Watching her cheeks turn a baby pink as she blushed and recoiled like she had been burned.

"What are you talking about. We're friends-"

"Friends don't go on ice cream dates after school, or constantly check in on each other just because they want to talk." Kate hated that Artemis had overheard that conversation.

"That was not a date, and friends talk all the time." Kate defended herself, her cheeks growing redder as she was knocked off kilter emotionally and mentally at the insinuation.

"That's adorable!" M'gann awed, "Honestly, anyone could see how much you two like each other."

"Oh my gosh, their ship name could be Songbird." Artemis added on enthusiastically, mainly just to see Kate's reaction, but also finding the thing going on between the youngest members of the team sickeningly adorable and just wants them to admit they like each other so they would stop making her feel lonely.

Before Kate could shut down the older girls' completely insane thoughts the computer's voice assistant's monotone filled the room again.

"FAIL: Aqualad."

"Black Canary taught me that." Superboy proudly said as he stood over Kaldur with a grin. Kate fought off the green eyed monster that wanted to rage over anyone spending time with Dinah that way, she was also working on sharing. It was still a work in progress.

Red Tornado came down from his apartment and landed in front of the Atlantean and Kryptonian clone, turning away but being stopped by an overeager Wally who sped in front of him, asking if the android had a mission for them.

"Missions are the Batman's responsibility."

"Yeah, well, the Batman is with the Robin doing the dynamic duo thing in Gotham," Wally said, Artemis nudged Kate with her elbow lightly at the mention of, just to annoy the younger blonde. It worked. "But you're going somewhere right? Hot date? Or-or a mission?"

"If we can be of help." Aqualad offers more maturely than the speedster. Red Tornado opening a holo-screen with a picture of an older man with grey hair and a cane.

"This is Kent Nelson, a friend. He is one hundred and six years old." RT says.

"Guy doesn't look a day over ninety." Wally whispers to Kate and Artemis.

"And he has been missing for twenty-three days. Kent was a charter member of the Justice Society, the precursor to your mentors Justice League." Kent Nelson's picture changed into a picture of some guy in a golden helmet. Goldfinch had no idea who he was, but Kaldur seemed to have the answer.

"Of course, Nelson was earth's sorcerer supreme. He was Doctor Fate." That name rung a bell for Kate, she remembers one of the boys in one of the many group homes she had been in being obsessed with the Justice League before the Justice League. Specifically, Doctor Fate and his mystical abilities. The only reason she even remembered was because he was so annoying about it, it was the only thing he would talk about.

"More like Doctor Fake, guy knows a little advanced science and 'Dumbledore's' it up to scare the bad guys and impress the babes." Wally whispered again, sounding so sure.

"Kent may simply be on one of his walk abouts, but he is care taker of the Helmet of Fate. The source of the Doctor's mystic might and it is unwise to leave such power unguarded." Red Tornado says, Kate wasn't totally on board with the whole 'magic is real' thing just yet, mainly because she hadn't seen it with her own eyes and she wasn't a person that held a lot of blind faith (none actually). But she wasn't going to pull a Wally and just shoot it down completely. But as it stood, she could only really think about magic in the terms that it was something in the books she read and not something in real life.

"He's just like the great sorcerer priests and priestesses of Mars. I would be honored to find him." M'gann says admirably, probably happy to find some familiarity to home on Earth. Her response had Wally changing his tune real quick.

"Me too! Sooo honored, I can barely stand it. Magic rocks." Wally did cheesy 'rock n roll' hands, making Kate roll her eyes, equally annoyed and amused with Wally's usual antics of trying to get M'ganns' attention.

"Take this, it is the key to the Tower of Fate." Red tornado handed Kaldur the golden key he showed the group of teens.

"What are the chances we both so admire the mystic arts?" Wally asked M'gann in a way he probably thought was being suave. Artemis and Kate shared a matching look of exasperation and disbelief.

~~*~~

SALEM

August 19, 20:22 EDT

They all dressed down into civies, Kate wearing her usual light wash, ripped, mom jeans and long sleeve shirt. The toe of her Doc Martens scraping against the floor of the Bioship in boredom as her hands played with the sleeves of her new leather jacket. It was a little strange not wearing her old one, the worn material of the too small piece of outerwear had become like a weighted blanket to the teen.

Giving it up was akin to shedding the last piece of her old life, and it was a lot harder than she thought it would be.

"So, Wally, when did you first realize your 'honest affinity' for sorcery?" Artemis asked sarcastically.

"Well, I-uh, I don't like to brag but before I became Kid Flash, I seriously considered becoming a wizard myself." Wally leaned back in this chair, his arms crossed behind his head, everyone in the Bioship beside M'gann looking at him with disbelief and annoyance.

"We've reached Tornado's coordinates but..." M'gann trailed off.

"Nothing's there." Kate realized, seeing nothing but an empty plot of land.

"Take us down." M'gann did as Kaldur told her and parked the Bioship on the side of the road like it was an actual car.

Kate didn't know why she found this funny, but she did.

Wally ran the perimeter and came back looking highly disturbed, "Nothing, this isn't simple camouflage."

"So, what do you think? Adaptive micro-electronics combined with phase-shifting?" Artemis asked, trying to trip up the deceitful speedster. Kate standing a little way off but still close enough to hear.

"Absolutely... not!" Wally changed his answer as M'gann walked up beside him. "Clearly mystic powers are at work here." Wally was as bad of a liar as Oliver was. Kate was no longer amused by Wally lying through his teeth, it was a Thursday, she had school tomorrow and homework she should be doing right now.

She's not stupid, not by any means. Not to brag, but she's actually pretty smart, she's just not used to using her smarts for anything other than survival and combat tactics. So, to sit through a math lesson on advanced algebra or an English class focused on creative writing was a new experience. One she found too not be totally unwelcome.

"A test of faith..." Kate turns to look at their leader questionably, the Atlantean looking intensely at the key Red Tornado gave him, "Stand behind me." He weaved his way through the group and walked up to the empty space of the field, inserting the key into the air and turning it.

Kate was convinced he was losing it before a loud clicking sound filled the air, the sound of a lock unlocking, and a giant building appeared out of thin air. Correction: a giant tower. Kate's eyes went wide as plates, her jaw dropping to the grass under her feet as she stood there stunned.

Aqualad pushed open the door and lead by example by entering the creepy looking tower first, the rest of the team following.

"Uh where'd the door go?" Superboy asked and Kate instantly got bad vibes, feeling like a trapped animal. Every fiber of her being screaming she shouldn't be here.

"Greetings," A hologram...? Of Kent Nelson appeared in a flash of golden light and Kate almost yelped in surprise, "You have entered with a key but the tower does not recognize you, state your purpose and intentions."

Kate waited for Kaldur to say something, her eyes constantly shifting around the space like a junkie searching for a fix. "We are true believers, here to find Doctor Fate." Wally, the ginormous idiot that he is, spoke up for the group. Which was a very big mistake judging by the frown that plagued the holograms face before it disappeared. Kate internally (And externally) panicking about what that meant.

Her question was answered when the floor broke up underneath them and the team started falling, Kate screaming, normally. Barely controlling her sonic scream as her worst nightmare came to life. M'gann grabbed Wally, Kaldur saved from a fiery death by Artemis and her cross bow, Superboy digging into the rocky walls with a yell.

Kate? Kate was free falling, flipping in the air, no way to save herself and no one able to save her. She honestly thought she was going to die.

"Kate!" Artemis yelled as the blonde fell past the archer and Atlantean.

"Superboy!" Aqualad yelled, the clone reaching out and catching the song bird by her waist, her boots almost touching the superheated lava inches below her and her savior. The blonde looked traumatized, her eyes wide with horror and unshed tears as a green tinge colored her lightly tanned skin.

The clone could hear how fast her heart was racing in her chest, how shallow her breaths were. She was having a panic attack.

The clone growled, holding onto her tightly as he dug his fingers into the wall deeper for a better grip. "This Nelson guy better be worth it." Superboy called up to the other's.

"Having trouble... maintaining altitude... I'm so hot." M'gann said, slowly succumbing to the heat of the lave below them.

"You certainly are." Wally said, looking at the Martian with heart eyes.

"Wally!" Artemis scolded.

"Hey! Inches above sizzling death, I'm entitled to speak my mind!" The speedster fought back. His words only making Kate's panic worse, her and Superboy being the closest to the 'sizzling death' Superboy feeling the blonde begin to practically vibrate in his hold.

"My physiology, and M'ganns are susceptible to extreme heat, we must climb out quickly." Aqualad wipes away the sweat on his forehead.

"Hello Megan, we never truly answered the question," Miss M realized, "Red Tornado sent us! To see if Mr. Nelson and the helmet were safe!" A dark brown tiled floor slid over the lava, the heat instantly disappearing, Superboy jumped off the wall and set Goldfinch onto her feet, which didn't last as the blonde fell back against the wall and slid down till she was sitting on the ground. Wally and M'gann dropping right next to her, Kaldur and Artemis swinging down.

"This platform, it should be red hot." Kate knew this, but her mind was still processing the fact she wasn't dead, her panic slowly fading the longer she had solid ground under her. The weightless feeling of falling never leaving her as she shakily stood and looked at the clone with an openly terrified look on her face. This was the first time he had seen her this vulnerable. Even when she was hurt, she had the look of a warrior, continuously pushing forward through the pain.

But this wasn't physical pain she can push away with mind over matter or adrenaline, this was a type of pain that was��caused by the fear spurred on by adrenaline, it was psychological. She didn't look like a warrior, she looked like a kid, for the first time ever since he had known her.

She turned away from the clone after opening and closing her mouth a couple times, unsure of what to say, hanging her head between her knees, "I think I'm gonna be sick." She was still shaking and her shoulders heaved with labored breathing just shy of hyperventilating.

Artemis looked at the girl, that always seemed so unshakeable, reduced to a panic induced mess and she got angry.

"Don't worry Megalicious, I got you." Wally flirted with M'gann, which set the blonde archer off.

"Enough! You're little 'impress Megan at all costs' game, nearly got us all barbequed!" Artemis shoved Wally back against the wall.

"When did this become my fault?!" Wally got defensive.

"When you lied to that... whatever it was, and called yourself a true believer!" Artemis got in his face, Superboy coming up behind her in silent support.

"Wally, you don't believe?" Kate straightened up, forcing herself to calm down (and failing), as M'gann asked her question. Sounding incredibly naïve.

"Fine! Fine! I lied about believing in magic," Wally broke under the pressure of his team mates disapproving stares, "But magic is the true lie! A major load!"

"Wally, I studied for a year at the conservatory of sorcery in Atlantis. The mystic arts created the skin icons that power my waterbearers." Aqualad tried to convince the red head civilly, still crouched down and feeling the cool temp of the floor.

"You ever hear of Bioelectricity? Hey in primitive cultures fire was once considered magical too, today it's all just a bunch of tricks." He denied, Kate just shaking her head, if she wasn't convinced of magic before she sure was now. And she wanted out and to never deal with it ever again.

"You sure are pretty closed minded for a guy who can break the sound barrier in his sneakers." Artemis rebuked, her anger doing nothing but growing the more he continued to deny the truth right in front of him.

"That's science, I recreated Flash's laboratory experiment and here I am. Everything can be explained by science." Wally's mic-drop moment falling flat with the audience of his peers.

"Let us test that theory." Aqualad spoke from the floor, reaching for a handle sticking up and lifting a hatch in the ground.

"Wait! The back draft from the lava will roast us alive!" Wally's words fell flat when powdery white flakes of frozen water flew up into the air. The crisp air helping Kate come back to earth from the emotional roller coaster she just went on. Reminding her she was alive, if she was dead surely, she wouldn't be able to feel the sting of the cold air in her lungs.... Right?

"It's snow!" M'gann said with the enthusiasm of a kid on Christmas.

"Do you ever get tired of being wrong?" Artemis smirks at Wally as the team starts to go through the hatch, the short weightless feeling not doing anything great for Kate's peace of mind as she lands next to Superboy. The five of them looking to Wally to see if he had a scientific explanation.

Kate knew he did, because it's where her mind wanted to go, just to give her some sense of normality.

"Ever hear of string theory? We're in a pocket dimension." Artemis let out a sound of pure frustration.

"What's that?" M'gann asked, making them all turn to see what she was looking at, a cane floating in the air. Yeah, Kate has had enough of magic and mystic forces to last a lifetime. Can she go home now? Homework seems like a better option to the teen right now.

Artemis and Wally grabbed the cane, "I got it," They said in unison, "I can't let go! Ahh!" The remaining four team members watched in shock and worry as the archer and speedster were dragged up into the sky and disappeared in a flash of light.

Kaldur, Superboy, M'gann, and Kate all sharing looks of 'what the fuck just happened?' before shrugging and walking through the snow. Kate still shaking but for a different reason, she wondered how the other's weren't so affected as she was, she figured it was because none of them were as fragile as humans when it came to the cold.

"I don't understand Wally-" Kate snorted a laugh at M'ganns words.

"Does anyone?" She interrupted, her snarky tone earning her a scolding look from Kaldur. The teen visibly deflated, her shoulders caving in as she tried to retain any body heat, she could.

"It's almost like he needs to believe the impossible can't happen." M'gann finished her thought with no more interruption from the songbird.

"Hey Superboy?" The blonde asked quietly beside him, gaining the clones attention, "I should say thank you, you uh- you probably saved my life back there. I'm not sure if I would have actually been roasted alive by Lava or not because magic is confusing but if you hadn't of caught me-" Kate wasn't normally the type to let people see her be vulnerable, especially not people she was iffy on trusting. She also wasn't a big words person, preferring action, physical proof, over pretty words and false promises. But this was necessary. She was trying to be different, more open, less defensive.

That moment as she was falling and then suddenly wasn't anymore...

It was the first time she had ever been afraid to die. Now that she had things to live for, friends, family, a life that consisted of more than fear and survival.

Superboy had lengthened her time on this green planet of theirs, that was the final puzzle piece she needed to fully trust the quiet clone she didn't really talk to as much as a friend and as a teammate.

The clone just grinned at her, an understanding look in his eye, no more words needing to be said between the two.

A loud crashing sound grabbed the four teens attention, all of them turning to see a doorway and stairs open at the top of a slope in front of them. Looking at one another with furrowed eyebrows and walking through the door, falling through it (Kate was really tired of falling) and seeing their long-lost teammates with Kent Nelson. A large bell hanging behind them, it was very hunchback of Notre Dame.

Artemis ran over to her teammates and helped them up, just in time to dodge a blast of lightning shot in their direction. "What the fu-" Kate cursed, turning and seeing two guys, obviously bad guys. One holding a wand like he was freaking Harry Potter and they were Voldemort, the other looked like a boy, extremely pale with greasy black hair, horns coming out of his forehead and a cat curled around his neck. Think love child between Satan and a rat.

"Professor Snape? Is that you?" Kate asked under her breath, taking out her batons from under her jacket, barely conscious of the fact that Wally and Kent had just disappeared into the bell.

Well, wasn't that just splendid, Kate and the others continued to dodge the blasts being sent their way, the blonde getting an idea. "Superboy! Could I get a boost?" The clone smirked and nodded, making a platform with his hands and tossing her up and at knockoff Harry Potter... or would he be a death eater? To be determined at a later date.

She reared back an arm, ready to knock some common decency into the wizard dude, but was hit with a lightening blast in the stomach and thrown back, her clothes smoking as a cage of electricity came over her.

"Goldfinch!" Superboy yelled as sonic waves distorted the air from her screams of pain. The clone running over to try and help but getting caught himself. The pain didn't last long though, a blinding golden ankh appeared behind the evil wizard and stripped him down to his delicate's.

Goldfinch got up with the other's, watching Superboy approach the almost naked charlatan "Show's over." He said before punching the man, knocking him out cold.

~~*~~

STAR CITY

The Lance Apartment

August 20, 00:45 PDT

Looking at the clock as she quietly entered Dinah and Hers' apartment, Kate just shook her head at the time zone difference. Zeta-ing back and forth seriously messed up her circadian rhythm, not that she slept much to begin with. But still.

Kate took off her boots by the door and tiptoed through the spacious kitchen in the dark, her socked feet padding down the hardwood hallway and pausing before a slightly open door. Dinah's room. Before she could think too much about it the teen was peeking into the older woman's bedroom cautiously, getting caught red handed by a still awake Dinah Lance.

"You're back early." The older blonde said with a small smile, sitting in bed with a book that Kate had recommended to her.

Goldfinch was free falling, flipping in the air, no way to save herself and no one able to save her. She honestly thought she was going to die.

"...If you hadn't of caught me-"

she had things to live for, friends, family, a life that consisted of more than fear and survival.

"Hey, is everything alright?" Dinah pulled the covers off her legs and got out of her bed, seeing Kate zone out with a look the older woman had never seen before on her young face. Dinah laid a calming hand on the teens shoulder and a tense paused ensued before Kate was shooting forward and wrapping her arms around her mentor, shocking and almost knocking the woman over. "Woah, hey, hey." Dinah cooed softly petting back the girl's hair as she returned the hug.

The teen didn't say anything, just held onto her tighter, the woman who had quickly filled the role of a mother-figure in her life when she needed it most, burying her face into Dinah's shoulder.

Left over panic and anxiety from the fall making her vibrate like the flash trying to phase through a wall as it all came crashing back down. Her thoughts spiraling until she was having a full blown panic attack in Dinah's arms. The woman keeping a calm face on the outside while she was internally in shock, running her fingers through the teens hair and talking softly to her.

"Just breathe, you're okay now. I'm right here, you're safe." Once Kate had stopped hyperventilating Dinah pulled back, holding the girl's face softly, seeing her ocean blue eyes all red and bloodshot, tear stains on her flushed cheeks.

"Can I-" Kate's voice cut off, her lips pursing as she looked down, sniffling quietly as her walls were slowly being put back in place and shame started to pool in her stomach. She tried not to let Dinah see her like how she felt right now. A weak child. Dinah didn't need her to finish her question to understand, being able to read what was happening in her head with the clarity of crystal.

"Come on." Dinah gently led Kate to her bed, helping the girl out of her jacket before they settled, Kate curling into Dinah's shoulder hesitantly, falling asleep almost instantly.

Dinah's calm façade fading into a strange look that was a mixture of worry and joy. Worry about what had caused Kate's panic attack and how it was going to affect her moving forward. Joy, because Kate came to her, albeit subconsciously at first, but she still looked to another person for comfort rather than turning inward and self-destructive. It was progress. She was starting to fully trust the people in her life, the team, Oliver, Her, Artemis even.

And for just a split second, looking down at Kate, Dinah saw her sister. It was nostalgic in the best and worst way.

"Hey D?" The six year old Sarah Lance whispered into the dark room of her older sister, "I had a nightmare." Her baby blonde hair resembling a mane from sleep, her big, deep blue eyes scared and tired.

"Come on," a ten year old Dinah Laurel Lance turned on the lamp beside her bed and lifted her dark blue covers. Her little sister racing forward with her blanket she's had since birth, golden wings embroidered into the corner shining in the low light of the room, and dived in next to her big sister. Curling up into Dinah's side and falling back to sleep almost instantly.

Sarah Lance had been missing for fourteen years, declared dead after five, and it had killed Dinah when she got the call that the police had stopped looking. But then... a little ray of hope shone through the dark clouds.

Kate.

A girl, basically a carbon copy of Sarah, with the ability to sonic scream... it was too big of a coincidence to be a coincidence. Even with only circumstantial evidence to back up the theory, Dinah knew in her bones.....

Kate was Sarah's daughter.

And Dinah would take care of her like she was her own. Protect her the way her sister had failed. Sarah may be gone but Dinah would be dammed if she were to let Kate, her niece, her family, slip through the cracks.

~~*~~

[newtonsheffield]

Hi! Hope you’re having a nice weekend. I was curious if you would ever consider exploring a “What if” AU for Royals where Anthony does call Kate after that first night? I know it probably wouldn’t be as dramatic, but there was a line in there about how Anthony knows if he hadn’t done what he had done, then everyone probably would have thought he was perfect for Kate, and it made me wonder what that would have been like for them.

Hello!

I am having a good weekend! It's a four day weekend leading into a two day work week courtesy of this trash team building day so you know!

Anyway! I think that had it not been for the coup of it all, The palace would have been glad of the idea of Anthony as Kate's companion. He's young, and handsome, and a viscount, she could definitely do worse. So let's take a little look at how this would have gne.

“Did you have a run in with some sort of animal last night, Kate?”

And in her sleep deprived state Kate hadn’t seemed to think the better of sharing this with her seventeen year old sister, “Something like that.”

Edwina had made a disgusted sound in the back of her throat, “Sophie’s on her way in, and you might want to dig out some high necklines to cover that mess.”

Sophie’s eyes had flickered over her appearance in that non judgmental way she had tutting a little and saying “I’ll send the make up girls in. I hope it was at least good.”

And something deep within her had burned when she saw the little patchwork quilt of bruises and nips he’d left along her collarbone, her neck, possessively done almost, a smirk coming to her face when she thought that at least she wouldn’t have to have the stylists cover the marks his stubble had left between her thighs.

“Oh it was good enough.”

“You’re foul.” Edwina had said primly, though her lips were ticking upwards in a smirk. “Will we be seeing this, I hesitate to use the word gentleman, again?”

Kate’s heart had done an odd little flutter as she thought about the note she’d left him, forcing herself to shrug. “I don’t know.”

She sat in the make up chair while her team chatted around her, working quickly before she had to meet Mary. Kate's mind kept slipping back to last night, the way Anthony had grinned down at her in his kitchen as he'd searched for something for them to eat, his hips between hers as he hoisted her onto his kitchen counter his voice hot in her ear Oh look, I've found something for me to eat.

It had been nice despite how filthy parts of it had been, and not just to escape, but to feel some kind of connection.

"Kate, your phone is ringing." Sophie said a little exasperatedly, not looking up from her own phone as she typed furiously.

Kate stared down at it, the unknown number making her heart beat quickly Surely it couldn't be him. She'd only left him a few hours ago... Surely it wasn't him, her hand hesitated over it.

"Oh for God's sake." Edwina snatched the phone from her lap from her chair beside Kate's. And before Kate could stop her she'd answered it. "Hi, Kate's phone?"

Edwina's eyebrows shot up, ignoring Kate's insistently holding out her hand. "Anthony?"

Kate's heart stopped, her mouth falling open, "Eddie give me the phone."

"Anthony, Kate's just in make up right now, Can I-?"

"Give me the phone!"

"Oh! She's done apparently! Well Done Anthony, you got her out of her chair." Edwina was grinning manically now as Kate snatched the phone from her, sweeping from the room her make up barely done, her heart pounding.

"Um Hi? Anthony?"

Silence stretched over the other end of the phone for half a second before a deep voice rumbled through it "Now, I don't know about wanting to escape again, but do you want to get dinner tonight?"

Kate felt her mouth fall open, the answer on her lips immediately, but there was just a tiny problem, last night she'd been Kate, and this morning she had responsibilities and appearances and a make up team and Christ.

"It's kind of... complicated for me." Kate said awkwardly, casting around the hallway, blanching a little as she saw Mary striding this way.

A laugh echoed through the phone "Oh you mean because you're the Princess?"

Kate's stomach sunk, So he had known, she knew he had to have but to hear him say it was different. "Yeah, that complicates my life a lot actually."

Anthony hummed, "I wasn't really honest about myself last night either, but come to dinner with me, and I'll explain. This is going to sound a little insane but... Kate, I'm really glad we met last night and it's been a long time since I met someone that I felt like this with so I'm not really ready to let that go yet."

She could feel her heart pounding, He hadn't been honest about himself? What did that mean? Was he some sort of criminal? No, that didn't seem right, he'd seemed a lot like her, looking for something you shouldn't have been able to find in a dive bar. But it had felt like she'd found it anyway.

And she knew she really shouldn't but she couldn't help herself "Um... yeah okay. But just as a warning... I have to bring a guard with me this time, last night was... unusual for me."

"As long as you're there I don't care." She almost thought he might mean it.

"Can I at least know your last name before tonight?" She should at least know that much if she was going to sell this.

"Well, That seems fair. I'm Anthony Bridgerton."

_______

"Um... Mary?"

Mary looked up at her curiously at the end of their meeting with the Spanish Ambassador. "What's wrong?"

Kate blanched, "Um... nothing's wrong."

Mary raised her eyebrow, "Am I about to find out where you spent last night? Or with whom it was spent?"

"How do you-?"

"Darling, Sophie's a very good liar, but did you really think if I knew you were unwell I wouldn't have checked on you." Kate opened her mouth to give some excuse, to tell her that she hadn't spent the night being bent every which way, but Mary cut her off. "You're an adult, Kate. You can sleep with whoever you like. Do you need the morning after-?"

"Mary!" Kate hissed, looking around at Steve, politely looking in the other direction, obviously wishing he was anywhere but there. "We used protec- I'm not talking about this with you!"

Mary looked fairly unruffled, "Well Why did you bring it up then?"

"I didn't bring that up! I'm going out with him, tonight."

Mary frowned. "And his name is?"

Kate sighed, "Anthony Bridgerton."

Mary's mouth dropped open, "Viscount Anthony Bridgerton?"

Both of them stared at each other, surprised, Steve cleared his throat.

"I am not confirming that the address you were collected from this morning-" Kate avoided Mary's slightly impressed look "is the official residence of Viscount Bridgerton."

Well... Fuck.

__________

Kate could see him, through the window of the restaurant, no other patrons around, even more handsome than he had been last night. He was dressed a little more formally tonight, so was she she supposed, the dark grey plaid of his suit perfectly tailored, the purple of his waistcoat bright against it, the similar to her dress she realised with a small smile.

"We don't have to go in." Steve hummed quietly at her hesitation.

Kate smiled, "I think I will, You could take him right?"

He scoffed, "Please."

Kate swung the door open, watching as Anthony fumbled to his feet, his hand in his hair, adjusting his glasses.

"Kate, sorry... Your Royal Highness?" He seemed nervous here, so different than he'd been last night. Kate rolled her eyes, leaning in to kiss his cheek, a little thrilled at the way his breath caught.

"Kate's fine. Your royal Highness is a little formal for a date. I usually save it for the bedroom." Anthony choked as he pulled out her chair, sliding it in for her to sit.

She watched as he slid back around the table taking his own seat, "And you? Do you prefer Anthony or Lord Bridgerton?"

His eyes widened a little, "So you figured out my secret."

"I don't think it's much of a secret if my mother knows your mother."

His handsome smirk was back, "Did you tell your mum about me?"

Her lips twitched, "Did you tell your mum about me?"

He stared back at her, his eyes dancing in the low light. "I'd like to tell everyone about you, but for now I think I'll keep you to myself."

"There might not be anything to tell, if you don't feed me this time."

"Well, we wouldn't want that now would we?"

Kate groaned when she woke up the next morning, cushioned against Anthony's chest, his hands tangling in her hair, to three missed calls from sophie and a text that said Am I stopping this or not?

A picture of her and Anthony at Dinner, him whispering in her ear, his hand on her thigh, the headline Princess Kate on Steamy Date With Dishy Viscount

Kate hummed showing the article to Anthony a little embarrassedly, "Um... my team wants to know if this is something they should keep quiet for now. Like if this isn't going anywhere, or you don't want this to be-?"

Anthony cut her ff with a kiss, his tongue tangling with hers, his eyes soft. "I think that you should let it come out because... I don't really want to hide this, but if you'd rather not-"

Kate turned back to her phone typing out Let it go, and maybe start preparing to introduce the country to my new boyfriend.

[harrylilies]

The Royal Series | Pt. VIII

The Royal Series Masterlist

"Come on, Henry!" You laughed at your brother, wrapping the scarf you got him around his neck. "It's your best picture!" The green and red scarf had a picture of him fighting a pap in 2004 all over it, ready to be worn.

"You were only 10 when this happened, how did you even remember this?" He laughed, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and squeezing you to his chest.

"Brings out the colour in your eyes." Will said, helping Charlotte off of his lap and letting her run towards you.

"Think you should wear my gift to your boyfriend's family meeting." Harry joked, letting you go.

You rolled your eyes, scooping Charlotte in your arms. "Did you see Granny's face when I opened the gift?"

Harry mimicked, making everyone in William's drawing room laugh. "Admit it, it's a nice sweatshirt."

"The best thing to wear to a first family meeting; Harry Styles have my babies. Excellent choice." You said sarcastically, swaying Charlotte gently in your place.

"Teetee, did you like my present?" Charlotte asked enthusiastically, wrapping her arms around your neck.

"I loved it! I'm putting that picture frame beside me, on my bedside table. So every morning when I wake up and every night before I sleep, I see you and your brother. It's the best to wake up and sleep to, Charlie." You smiled, pressing a kiss to her cheek, "Also, our little squish here wrote me a very nice letter." You nodded towards Kate's baby bump.

Spending more time with your family doing nothing but laughing, teasing one another, and reminiscing the days when you were all younger, it wasn’t long before you were putting on your coat and ready to leave.

"Do you have to go?" Charlotte whined, frowning as she looked at you.

You cooed, "Aw, none of that now, Charlie. I'll be back before you know it."

"Yeah, Charl, Teetee will only be gone for a few days before she comes back." Kate said, standing beside you as she assured her daughter, "We don't want Y/N leaving with us crying and her getting sad, do we?"

Charlotte nodded before letting out a dramatic sigh, "Okay."

"Now, I really have to go. Want to help me get my bags?" To which Charlotte nodded eagerly to, making you grin, "Where's your brother? Where's Georgie?"

"I think he's in his room." Will said, standing up.

"Let's go get him, Charlie. Let old Daddy sit, wouldn't want him hurting his back." You said teasingly as you walked past your brother, hearing everyone behind you snickering.

"Hey! Don't tell my daughter that!" Will joked, making you wave him off.

Reaching George's room, you let Charlotte knock before you heard him give you a "Come in!"

You opened the door gently, peaking yours and Charlotte's head inside to see George sitting on his floor, playing with the train toy set you had gotten him. His head snapped towards you, a grin instantly drawn to his face as he stood up and sped towards you, hugging your legs. "Auntie, you're still here!"

"I am, baby, but I wanted to ask you if you want to join me and Charlie and help me with my suitcases?" You stroked his scalp gently.

"Yes, of course! I'll get my train." He said before walking back to his previous spot, taking one red train before walking beside you, holding your hand.

George opened the door to your room, going inside and climbing up the bed till he sat, his feet dangling and swaying as he made train noises and flew his toy in the air. You sat Charlotte beside him, giving her the small piano toy she had left in your room the previous day, before unlocking your phone, finding 3 missed calls from Harry.

"Shit," you cursed under your breath, turning your phone slightly to find that it was silenced.

You instantly called him back, balancing the phone between your ear and shoulder blade as you opened your plain blue suitcase, double checking that nothing was missing before checking your duffel bag, too.

"I thought you got cold feet." Harry said as soon as he picked up, followed by a heartfelt laugh.

You smiled to yourself, taking your red sweater in your hand, "No, no. My phone's mute button was probably pushed by accident. Is something wrong?"

"No, love. I just wanted to make sure that you're," he cleared his throat, "You know, still coming."

"I am, H. I'm about to leave," you assured him before chuckling, "They still don't believe you?"

"They don't. Even showed them a couple of pictures but they told me that my fans make insane photoshopped pictures. I’m starting to feel very offended."

You laughed, zipping your suitcase. "Good thing I'm spending New Year's with you then, huh?"

"The best. Still sure about that? Wouldn't your family have your head?" He asked. "One, I'm sure. Two, told you it's me who decides. Now," you held your phone with your hand, "I have to go get dressed. I'll text you when I'm near, okay?"

"Yeah, okay. I'm waiting for you. Take care, yeah?"

"Always do. Bye, baby." And so, it slipped from your mouth, making your eyes widen and your other hand to cover your mouth.

The pet name didn't seem to go unnoticed by Harry as he giggled quietly into the phone, giving you an eager "bye!" and a kissy noise before hanging up.

"I'm going to go change, I'll be right back." You informed your niece and nephew who only nodded at you, too engrossed in their toys.

_

With the car door open wide for you, you bent down, hugging George and Charlotte close to your chest, kissing their temples. "Be good for Mummy and Daddy, will you?"

"Yes, Teetee." They both replied, their arms on you.

"Come on, give me a kiss." You smiled, patting your cheeks for them to which they giggled at, leaning forward and planting loving kisses on your cheeks. "I love you."

"Love you, Teetee!"

Getting into the car and blowing everyone a kiss, you nodded at your driver who stood by the driver's door side. "Don't worry, Ben. I’ll be careful." You smiled, "You spend some time with your family."

"I did actually spend a wonderful time with my wife and the kids." He smiled, closing the door after you got in and put on your seatbelt before you put down your window.

"Oh! Did they like my presents? I certainly hope they did. Although I'm not so sure about the sizes, I just picked the ones suitable for your daughters' and wife's ages." You chuckled, looking up at him.

"They loved it, Your Highness! And the sweaters fit them just right. Lilly especially wanted me to thank you and invite you for a tea party." Ben chuckled humorously as he referred to his youngest daughter, only being 5.

You grinned, perking up. "I love tea parties! I'd gladly come if you'd let me."

Ben laughed in delight, nodding eagerly. "Of course we would! You're welcomed to visit anytime, Your Highness."

You smiled, starting the car before waving at him before you drove off, already feeling the nervous butterflies in your stomach at the thought of meeting Harry's family after a 3-hour drive.

Meanwhile, Harry sat on his mother's sofa, laughing at Gemma's embarrassing stories that Anne was telling Michal, Gemma's boyfriend, laughing at his sister's sour face.

"Oh, come on. At least I'm not as delusional as Harold here, says he's with HRH Princess Y/N." Gemma snickered.

Harry groaned, dropping his head low in defeat. "She's coming in a few hours."

"Oh dear, I have to move the pebbles for when the horses arrive on our doorstep." Anne joked.

"She doesn't move in coaches, Mum." Harry laughed.

"Probably wings." Gemma joked, motioning with her arms to wings, making Harry throw a cushion on her.

"Stop it, Gemma. Stop making fun of your brother," Anne said, standing up and taking two of the many empty glasses on the table which belonged to some of Harry's family whom were in their presence but left, "I raised you both to never make fun of troubled people." She giggled, speeding off to the kitchen.

"Hey, why are you doubting him? Harry's pretty big and known." Michal defended him, looking at Gemma.

Gratefully, Harry made prayer hands as he closed his eyes, mouthing "Thank you" to him.

"I'm not belittling him but," Gemma began, "This 23-year-old woman, one of the most beautiful, whose father is Prince Charles and mother is Princess Diana and her grandmother is the fucking Queen and was raised and continues to live in the monarchy is pretty big, too."

"You always believed me when I told you about my girlfriends." Harry gave her a side eye, raising his eyebrows.

"Because you dated what we now call ordinary people, T Swift, Kendall Jenner. If a colleague of mine told me that they were dating them I'd believe them," she stood up, taking a couple of glasses before following Anne to the kitchen. "Better start cleaning before Her Highness arrives.”

Harry rolled his eyes, looking at Michal. "At least you believe me."

Michal chuckled, standing up as him and Harry started helping Anne and Gemma with the remains of the Christmas get-together they threw.

_

"It told me to make a left, so I did." You said, glancing at your phone in its holder before looking at your surroundings. "Alright wait, I'm coming outside." Harry said through the speaker, the sound of some shuffling around being heard next.

"Are you wearing a green jumper?" You asked, squinting your eyes to get a better look at the figure in front of you.

"Yes! Is that you in the black ca-Oh, hi." He giggled as you drove closer to him, finally getting a clearer view. "Bye bye." He eagerly said before hanging up, watching you park in front of him.

You grinned as you rolled your window up and took your keys and phone, Harry opening your door for you.

The moment you got out, Harry wrapped his arms around your waist, bringing you chest-to-chest closer. "You look very cuddly right now," he whispered, kissing your hair. "You always look cuddly now that I think about it."

You laughed, putting your hands on his chest and looking up at him. "I got some nice cocoa powder for hot chocolate. It's the best you'll ever have."

"I think we have marshmallows." He nodded. "Where are my manners?" Harry asked himself. Smiling as he leaned down, he pressed his lips to yours. Your leaned back on your car, smiling into the kiss as your hands moved to his jaw.

"They still don't believe you?" You asked as you took your breath, glancing back at his house before looking at him.

Harry rolled his eyes, "They teased me enough."

You tried not to laugh, though did a terrible job at it, before patting his chest, "Come on then. Let's meet them." You got out of his grasp and towards your boot. Right as you were about to take your suitcase, Harry beat you to it, taking it out, draping your duffel bag on his shoulder before closing the boot.

"I can take it." You said as he rolled your suitcase in one hand, the other holding yours.

"So can I. Come on." You both walked towards his open door, you smiling sheepishly as you tried not to look around.

"It's quiet." You whispered as Harry put your suitcase and duffel bag beside the door after kicking it close.

He chuckled, "They're in the back."

"I got presents." You whispered again, "Oh shit, I forgot to take them from the backseat." You opened the door, practically jogging towards your car before Harry followed you, grinning as he saw you take out neatly wrapped medium sized boxes in glistening and vibrant Christmas wrapping. "I trust you with the sizes you gave me."

"You got Mum that dress you showed me?" He asked, helping you and taking two boxes, leaving you with one which had a card on top of it with your neat handwriting that said “Merry Christmas, Michal!”

You nodded, humming. "And got Gemma the striped suit and the golf watch for Michal. Is that all alright?"

"Baby, I told you that you don't even have to get anything." Harry chuckled, bumping his hip with yours.

"It's Christmas, H. Everyone deserves nice presents." You smiled.

"Let's put these under the tree." Harry said, raising his eyebrows upwards as you both walked inside. Instantly smiling at the cosy aura the place had, your eyes fell on the twinkling Christmas tree by the window. You put the box under it, waiting as Harry put the other two there.

"And your gift is in my suitcase." You giggled, looking up at him.

"Yours is in my room." He replied with a dimpled grin, "Come on."

With his hand on your waist, you both walked towards the kitchen where you heard chatter and clinking, making you look at Harry, giving him a nervous smile. "Oh God." You whispered to yourself, huffing out before putting a strand of your hair behind your ear, your fingers lacing together in front of you, sheepishly.

Harry gave you a quick peck on the cheek before walking inside the kitchen, clearing his throat to catch his family's attention.

You could almost hear a pin drop. All of their jaws dropped, faces going tint red, looking intently at the new addition. You looked up at Harry for a second before looking back at the ones in front of you. "Hi, I'm Y/N."

"What the fuck?" Gemma was the first to speak, Harry cringing as he squeezed your waist slightly. Gemma's eyes caught her brother's, who widened his green eyes at her before she cleared her throat, drying her hands in the yellow towel on her shoulder before putting it on the chair. "Do I-Do I curtsy?"

"God, please don't," You laughed, moving forward and naturally wrapping your arms around her in a brief hug. "You look a lot like Harry. It's insane."

Still at a loss of words, Gemma awkwardly hugged back, looking at Harry from over your shoulder as he smirked at her, cocking an eyebrow. "You look like-" She cleared her throat, "Like how I see you on the telly."

You chuckled, pulling away, "I'm hoping that's a good thing?"

"Yeah, of course. Of course, it is."

"Excuse my daughter," Anne spoke, moving forward and approaching you with a wide, loving smile. "I'm Anne."

You and Anne hugged, her rubbing your back soothingly as she did. "I've heard a lot about you."

"Good things?" She asked jokingly as you both pulled away.

"The best." You nodded in confirmation.

"It's so nice to meet you." Michal said, leaning down and giving you a greeting hug before looking at Gemma, "Guess your brother isn't so delusional after all, huh?"

"Shut up." She said under her breath, covering her face.

"Let's take this to the living room, shall we?" Anne grinned enthusiastically.

"They're starstruck." Harry leaned down, whispering in your ear.

"I'm more of in awe that I'm meeting them." You giggled, holding his hand that was draped from your shoulder.

"Who got-Oh God, did you-" Anne gasped, looking back at you from the tree.

"It's Christmas. It's also a thank you for making me spend New Year's with you." You smiled warmly, feeling yourself get hotter, “I hope that’s okay.”

"Did I just get a present from the Princess of the United Kingdom?" Gemma asked her boyfriend quietly who tried to stifle his laughter and not burst out laughing before his face fell, looking at one box under the tree, "Yup. She got you one, too."

"I read online that's she's known in the royal family to get the funniest Christmas gifts." He whispered back.

They couple both shared a look before looking at you, laughing at something Anne said. "We did make fun of our Harry, honestly. Sorry, darling."

"I felt very offended, thank you very much." Harry put his hand on his heart dramatically before looking at you, "How was your drive here?"

"Very nice and quiet. That intersection you told me about saved me a lot of time." You pointed at Harry.

"No offense, sweetheart but what do we call you?" Anne asked warmly, “We have never really interacted with someone from the royal family this close before, excuse us.”

"Please, don’t worry. Just Y/N would be great."

"And please call me Anne," Anne pointed at herself, "Oh where are my manners? Are you hungry, sweetheart? We had nice turkey and mashed potatoes."

"Mum makes incredible turkey." Harry said from beside you on the sofa, his hand on your knee.

"Thank you so much, Anne, but I think I'm so full. I managed to get myself pizza on the way.”

“How many slices did you have? You can’t be that full, love.” Harry asked.

“Got a large and finished it all actually,” you shrugged, “But actually, I got us some fine cocoa powder if you fancy a nice hot cocoa cuppa. It's homemade." You grinned, standing up to walk towards your suitcase, "Actually if you don't mind, I can make them."

"Oh, love. You really didn't have to." Anne laughed in delight, watching as you shook your head at her with a warm smile, "Gemma can help you."

"Of course!" Gemma perked up, standing up, "I personally love eating cocoa powder."

You laughed, pointing at her, " Me too! My brothers make fun of me for it all the time."

You and Gemma walked towards your suitcase by the door before you opened it, taking the packet of cocoa from one of the pockets and closing it. Gemma hummed, closing her eyes "It already smells so good."

"Trust me, it's the best you'll ever have." You assured her as you both walked back to where everyone was. Harry leaned his head back on the sofa, looking at you upside down before giving you a childlike wide grin, almost as if he was assuring you that it was going well.

_

Standing in the kitchen with Gemma as you warmed the milk, she cleared her throat, getting you to look at her. You felt nervous, almost as if you were preparing yourself for the talk.

"So, you and little Harold? How did that even happen?" She chuckled, looking at you as she leaned on the counter.

"I've been a fan of One Direction for as long as I remember and I've always, you know, kind of had a soft spot for H. I don't get to go to concerts and shows very often but I went to his show a few months ago after getting in contact with Jeff then I met him. We met then we went to this local bar not far away with the rest of the band and we sort of," you shrugged with a smile, "Clicked."

"I bet he was shitting himself," she laughed, turning off the stove before taking out mugs for you. "From what he told us, you haven't been dating for long."

You nodded, "Almost two months."

"I'm sorry if this is too straightforward but does your family know?" Gemma asked quietly.

"My brothers and their partners know that we're together, yes. Uh, my grandparents and father know something is going on but we kind of had," you gestured with your hands, "A disagreement you can say. They'll come around."

"But you're planning on telling them, right?"

You nodded instantly, "Definitely," you paused, sighing as you looked at her, "I know what you're thinking. I really don't plan on hurting Harry."

"What about your family? Do they not?"

Deciding to not take it to heart, you simply shook your head. "My family won't get in the way of what makes me happy."

"I'm sorry if I come off as a bitch, I just," Gemma stopped, looking at you sympathetically.

"I understand," You smiled, "I'd do the same if I were in your place. You're just looking out for your brother and I truly respect that."

Gemma smiled in gratitude before shaking her head, "God, you sound so posh."

As the night went on and everyone was more comfortable, you were tucked in Harry's side, his arm wrapped tightly around you.

Empty mugs of hot cocoa were proof of the success and so were the smiling faces in the room. Gemma, Anne and Michal sat with their presents on their laps as they waited to unwrap them.

First went Anne, neatly unwrapping the present after complimenting your choice of wrapping paper. Her eyes almost widened at the Versace box, opening the lid slowly as she gasped at what's inside. She took the dress out, holding it at arm's length as she gushed over it. "Y/N! This is gorgeous, sweetheart!" She stood up, holding it over her.

"Ooooo, look at you." Gemma grinned, now feeling over the moon excited to open her present.

"This is a lot, Y/N."

"It's not, I promise. You're letting me stay here for 6 whole days, Anne. It's the least." You truthfully said, giggling when she gave you a kiss on the cheek.

Harry grinned at the interaction, rubbing your arm.

"Okay, my turn!" Gemma exclaimed, unwrapping the present before gasping at the Alexander McQueen box, "Oh God," She laughed, opening it. "Ooooo,"

"I trusted H with the sizes." You informed them, watching as Gemma took out the black and white striped jumpsuit out.

"I love you already." Gemma pretended to wipe her tears, making everyone laugh. "Thank you so much, Y/N." "You're welcome, Gemma. I bet it would look so good with red lipstick." You wiggled your eyebrows.

"You know what? We're going out tomorrow and I'm wearing that." She pointed at you. Gemma sat down, elbowing Michal, "Go on then."

Opening his box after unwrapping it, Michal let out an excited laugh as he looked at the expensive golf watch he remembers telling Gem about it a year ago. "That's massive! Thank you!"

"It's no problem. Harry told me you're really into golf. He helped me with this one." You smiled up at Harry who scrunched his nose.

"Did a great job, mate."

_

You left your hair down as you changed into your pyjamas, walking inside Harry's room. Right as you stepped inside, Harry quickly covered something with the covers, making you stand on the doorway with your hand on your hip. "Got something, Styles?"

"Don't know what you're talking about." Harry shrugged, tilting his head at you with a cheeky grin.

You sighed dramatically, "Guess I just won't give you your present then."

Harry laughed, throwing his head back, "Y/N!" He whined.

"Fine," you chuckled, "Alright I got you a bunch of stuff actually." You took the rectangular box out of your duffel bag, holding it out as you sat beside him on the bed, crossing your legs.

"Okay," Harry breathed out, copying your moves and sitting in front of you with his legs crossed, unwrapping the box. "You have really nice wrapping paper."

"Thank you, I take pride in choosing and wrapping them." You giggled, bringing your knees closer to your chest as you rested your chin on your knee.

The first thing Harry got out of the box was a book that had a cat in front books and a typewriter on cover, the title being "I Could Pee On This" along with "And Other Poems by Cats"

Harry burst out laughing; his eyes shut and his head back as his hand slapped his thigh. "Where did you even find this?!"

You only shrugged in response, grinning at his reaction. "I know you love cats and I thought it might be exactly what you need."

"I definitely needed that. Thank you, baby." He laughed, putting it beside him before taking out the next item. His eyebrows furrowed as he looked at the packet in his hand, reading what was written; "Animal butt magnets."

"When I first came to your house, I noticed your fridge didn't have any magnets so I thought you should add a few there."

Harry laughed, turning the packet to you, "You got me animal butts for me to stick on my fridge?"

You nodded excitedly, hugging your legs, "Precisely!"

"You're absolutely mental." Harry chuckled, leaning forward to peck your lips.

"Now for the grand, real gift!" You exclaimed in a reporter's voice, opening your arms wide.

Harry grinned, glancing at you before closing his eyes and taking the last item out of the box. His eyes fell on his hands, laughing, "Love, is that-" He glanced at you before opening the wallet in his hands, "It's a wallet! You got me a wallet that looks like burnt toast!"

"I love all of them!" Harry laughed, moving until he propped himself up on his knees, cupping your face in his hands as he pressed his lips to yours. "Has anyone ever told you how creative you are with gifts?" You hummed, smiling up at him before glancing at his lips, "Maybe one or two."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." You whispered back, pecking his lips.

"You might not know it but you've been touching your present all along." Harry chuckled, kissing your temple for a second before taking the box from under the covers.

"H, it's made a fucking lump. Of course I knew it was a present." You laughed, looking at the green wrapped box.

You unwrapped the box, Harry watching nervously and silently admiring how gentle you were while unwrapping the box. "Gucci!" You grinned, looking at him, "That's your favourite."

"I remember you telling me you like something of mine so," he shrugged.

You opened the box, "Loafers! You got me loafers!" You grinned, taking them out, "Are we going to be the cliché couple that match?"

"I think we're cliché enough to do that." Harry nodded. "There's something else in there."

You looked down, taking out the vinyl record in your hands, grinning when you read "Piano Man" and "Billy Joel".

“How on earth did you know I wanted this?"

"Might have had Farrah help me with that one." Harry smiled, shrugging sheepishly.

"You take your Christmas presents seriously, don't you?" You smiled, putting the shoes back in the box before wrapping your arms around his torso.

"Do you have any idea how hard picking a present for you is?" Harry rolled his eyes, groaning as he threw his head back.

"Hey, that goes both ways." You raised an eyebrow.

He laughed, raising his hand to push the hair that got on your face away, "You know what I got us for when we're back at my house? For our board games nights and all that?"

"And the Chinese takeaway?" You asked hopefully, making him chuckle and nod.

"And the Chinese takeaway," Harry confirmed, "I got us about 10 massive puzzle pieces."

You gasped, "You genius! I was actually thinking about getting us a new one."

"And now we have 10."

“And I have Gucci loafers.”

“And I have a wallet that looks like burnt toast.”

“Sorry about that, by the way. I didn’t know you took Christmas presents so seriously.” You sheepishly said, scrunching your nose as you looked up at him.

“Hey, none of that,” Harry frowned, “These are probably the nicest Christmas presents I have ever had. ‘sides,” he held up his wallet and new magnets, “What’s not serious about these babies?”

[irishseeeker]

                                        the story of us

summary:  Five times Kate Sheffield and Anthony Bridgeton were just friends and one time they were more.

find chapter 1 here or here

find chapter 2 here or here

find chapter 3 here or here

find chapter 4 here or here

find chapter 5 part 1  here or here

----

chapter 5 part 2: all along there was some invisible string tying you to me

Anthony Bridgerton was an idiot.

He wasn’t just an idiot. You see, usually idiots are not aware of their idiocy. They live carefree and blissfully unaware of their idiocy.

Anthony knew he was being an idiot.

It was eating him alive.

He didn’t stop it, though. He didn’t know what else to do. He kept his distance from Kate as much as he could. It was the only thing he could think to do.

It was just so difficult.

He would screw it up. He would break them. It’s what he did. He screwed things up. He had nearly screwed things up with Daphne and Simon, he had screwed things up with Siena and he would screw things up with Kate.

Kate had been a constant in his life since he was nineteen years old.

Kate was his lifeline.

Anthony knew he shouldn’t put that all on her but he didn’t have a choice. There was nothing he could control when it came to Kate Sheffield. He had been completely hers since the moment they sat down in that lecture hall and she announced that he was wrong to their entire lecture.

Then proceeded to argue with him for the next thirty minutes.

He never stood a chance.

Kate deserved everything. She didn’t need someone who had an irrational fear of dropping dead from a bee sting and couldn’t manage a healthy relationship.

It’s not like he tried.

What was the point? They weren’t Kate.

Anthony needed time.

He needed time to figure it out. He could manage it. He had to get his head straight and learn to just erase his feelings and the constant pain. He had to learn to adapt and inevitably watch her be happy with someone else.

If they got too close, they would implode. The fine line between them had grown thinner and thinner and they were in the danger zone. They had been since their kiss.

It couldn’t happen again.

The thing about Kate was she still had that magic.

Kate believed in love. Kate wanted that struck by lightning, unconditional and inconceivable type of love. She deserved that type of love.

Kate deserved to feel the way Anthony felt every time he looked at her.

Anthony wasn’t a complete pessimist, he knew love existed. He had grown up watching his parents madly in love until his dad died. His mother had barely recovered from it. Anthony still hadn’t recovered from it. Violet Bridgerton still had bad days, days where she forgot to pick up Hyacinth or Gregory from school or lay in bed all day, barely moving. How could he do that to Kate? How could he let himself go through that?

That type of love wasn’t something he could give her.

That’s why he couldn't try with Kate. If there was a chance something could happen between them, he wouldn’t take it.

He wouldn't ruin that kind of love for her.

He would always love her, he would just have to let someone else do it.

He just had to figure out how to.

His only plan so far was avoiding her.

That plan was pretty flawed so far.

Anthony didn’t want to hurt Kate. He knew he was hurting her anyway, he didn’t miss her hurt expressions or uncharacteristic silences when he made an excuse that he had to go out for a while or that he would be late coming home. He was trying to fix things before something bad happened.

It’s just incredibly difficult to avoid the one person you spend all your time with and you happen to live with.

He wasn’t necessarily avoiding her, he was just distancing himself temporarily from her while he sorted things out. which is something he liked to convince himself of to try not feel like a complete and utter asshole.

He had even booked hotel rooms to try to get some sleep. How could he sleep when Kate was a few metres away from him? How could he concentrate on anything but Kate when she was close to him?

He needed to protect them.

He needed boundaries.

He also needed Kate.

“Anthony!” Hyacinth shouted cheerfully, grinning widely at her brother as she ran towards him from the school’s front door. Anthony had been leaning against the railing of the gate, waiting for Hyacinth and Gregory to finish school.

His afternoon meetings had been cancelled so he called their nanny, Pippa and told her to take the rest of the day off. His mother had been down at Aubrey Hall for the week with builders planning some reconstruction and she was due back this evening. She hadn’t said anything yet but he suspected it had something to do with preparations for Daphne’s wedding. Anthony wanted to see his siblings and he needed a distraction from the million thoughts running through his head.

“Hi titch,” Anthony said, grinning back at her as he leaned down and picked her up, resting her on his hip. She was too old at seven to be carried around, but he didn’t really care. He needed Hyacinth to stay little for as long as possible. “How was school? Have you seen Greg?”

“It was fun,” She murmured, resting her cheek on his shoulder and letting out a small yawn. “We had to draw our favourite animal, so I obviously drew Newton.”

Anthony couldn’t stop the smirk breaking out on his face. “Obviously. Can I see?”

Hyacinth nodded slowly, wiggling out of his arms so she could open up her Jurassic Park backpack. She pulled out a piece of paper with her drawing, which had a crayon version of what Anthony guessed was Hyacinth, Gregory, Kate, Anthony and the ginger blob in the middle that was Newton.

Something inside of Anthony’s chest clenched.

“Be careful,” Hyacinth scolded, prying the paper out of Anthony’s hands. “I’m going to give it to Kate.”

Anthony bent down to Hyacinth’s eye level, smiling at her as he held open her back and put the picture back inside. “Kate will love it.”

Kate would love it. She was so incredible with Hyacinth and Gregory and they adored her. Kate kept everything they had given her over the years, it had been pinned up on Anthony’s fridge along with the drawings and pictures he’d received from them since Kate had moved in.

They also adored her demon corgi, who had taken over Anthony’s flat for weeks. The little shit climbed into his bed every single night and he knew Anthony wouldn’t kick him out. He had given up a long time ago.

He also started walking him whenever Kate couldn’t, she usually brought him in the evenings and Anthony in the morning when he went for his daily jog.

It made Kate insanely happy when he did it, so obviously Anthony was going to do it.

He had quickly snapped a sly picture when Hyacinth wasn’t looking, he had to send it to Kate. There was no harm in it. Right?

It was just a picture.

Anthony: [sent an image]

Anthony: Your demon inspired Hyacinth’s picture for animal day. She’s excited to show you this later.

Kate: omg. I want to cry that is so bloody cute. Can’t wait to pin it up on the fridge. You look like you’ve put on a few pounds though x

Kate: please do not talk about your godson like that

Anthony: Please, I’m still the best looking guy you’ll ever know.

Kate: sorry, it’s spelled p-a-t-h-e-t-i-c*

Anthony: Sorry, it’s spelled I-am-letting-you-live-in-my-flat*

Kate: My presence is a gift.

Anthony: Also-We’re not getting into this again. I have no familial relation to Newton.

Kate: He has your middle name!

Anthony: Dogs don’t have middle names!

Kate: Do you want to see his birth certificate?

Anthony: Do you mean the certificate you made yourself and framed on your wall? Unfortunately, I’ve seen it more than once. That’s enough for a lifetime.

Kate: [sent an image]

Anthony: Your middle finger is a bit wonky.

Kate: [sent an image]

Anthony: I hope your boss saw you take that.

Anthony chuckled under his breath as he looked up from his phone, spotting Gregory talking to a few of his friends across the playground before waving at Anthony, jogging towards them. He glanced back at the text chain, internally cursing at himself. Why did he always have to flirt with her? He couldn’t help it.

“Hey mate!” Anthony grinned as Gregory reached them, wearing his football kit. They were heading straight to Gregory’s football training in a nearby park, where Anthony and Hyacinth would go for a walk and wait for training to finish. Anthony ruffled his hair, taking his bag and sports bag. “Good day?”

“Hey!” Gregory said, grunting at Hyacinth before beaming up at Anthony. Anthony knew it wouldn’t last forever but he’d pay every cent he had to keep Greg looking at him like he was his hero. “Are you coming to watch me play football?”

“Of course I am,” Anthony said, nudging at Hyacinth to start walking towards the car. “I can’t wait. Are you excited? Come on, we better get going.”

“Anthony! Hello!” A blonde woman Anthony had definitely seen before was standing around a group of women, with their kids running around them and screaming. She practically pushed another woman out of the way to get to him. “How are you?”

He couldn’t for the life of him remember who she was. “Hello,” He said lamely, glancing at Gregory and Hyacinth who looked bored and were absolutely no help. “I’m great, thank you. How are you? Nice to see you again. I’m sorry, we’re just in a bit of a rush.”

It was slightly rude of him but once one of these parents cornered you, you’d be stuck there for hours. He wasn’t going to get stuck talking about a bake sale for the next half an hour.

“I’m lovely thank you-Oh! Yes, of course. You’re such a good brother. Have a good day!” The blonde woman called after Anthony as he hastily nudged Hyacinth and Gregory along. “If you need any help or are interested in the bake sale next week, I can give you my number-”

“Get in,” Anthony practically hissed urgently, waving his hand in the direction of the women but quickly flicking open his boot and car.

“One of them is Sasha’s mum,” Hyacinth grumbled, glancing back at the herd of women whose eyes had followed them towards Anthony’s car. “They think you’re good looking.”

Anthony threw their bags in the boot and opened the back door, winking at Hyacinth as she climbed into the car. “Well, they’re not wrong.”

Anthony laughed as Hyacinth and Gregory both made disgusted faces.

Gregory frowned at his passenger side. “I’m too old for a car seat.”

Anthony rolled his eyes. “The law would argue otherwise. In.”

Gregory took one look at his brother’s face and didn’t argue, grumbling as he moved into the car seat. Anthony checked their seatbelts and once everything was set, he climbed in himself and drove off to the park.

“When are you and Kate getting married?”

“What?” Anthony’s eyes snapped towards the rearview mirror, widening as he looked at Hyacinth.

Hyacinth didn’t seem phased whatsoever by her question. “When are you and Kate getting married?”

“We’re not,” Anthony said with a steady voice, glancing towards Greg who was too consumed with his Nintendo to care about the conversation. Is that what they both taught? “Why would you ask that?”

Hyacinth shrugged. “Daph and Simon are getting married.”

“That’s because they’re engaged.”

“Oh,” Hyacinth said slowly, her eyebrows furrowing slightly as she processed the conversation. “Why aren’t you and Kate engaged?”

“Kate and I are friends,” Anthony explained, feeling the dampness of his palms against the steering wheel. “We’re not like Daphne and Simon.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure,” Anthony said, a slight edge of irritation in his voice as he focused back on the road. He didn’t need to be mean, Hyacinth didn’t understand what she was talking about. “Why are you asking so many questions?”

“Well, people in love get married right?”

“Yes.”

“Daphne and Simon love each other?”

“They do.”

“Did Mum and Dad love each other?”

Anthony felt himself soften. “Very much.”

“Don’t you love Kate?”

“I do,” Anthony said hesitantly because he did in the exact way Hyacinth was asking but he didn’t really feel like getting into that. “People can love each other and not get married. It’s different for Kate and I-”

“No it’s not,” Hyacinth interrupted, a finality to the tone of her voice. It was the tone she used before she had a complete fit or meltdown. “I better be a flower girl.”

Anthony knew he was fighting a losing battle, and the irony of that statement wasn’t lost on him in relation to his current predicament. “At our non-existent wedding? Of course you can.”

Hyacinth stuck his tongue out at her and it reminded him so much of Kate, he nearly laughed out of relief and pain.

There it was again.

Kate.

Kate was constantly on his mind.

This was the problem. It was hit fault. This wasn’t the first time a family member, well, not just his family-anyone-had suggested there was something going on between him and Kate. They weren’t just friends. Kate was his best friend, she was everything but she had always been something a little bit more.

He had found her eight years ago and he didn’t know what to do.

Now, it felt like it was too late.

What the hell was he going to do?

Anthony couldn’t get Kate’s hurt look out of his head as he charged out of the house. It even momentarily distracted him from the blind fury he was feeling while he drove to the police station.

Benedict and Simon were right behind him, Benedict climbing into the front and Simon into the back. Anthony put the car in gear, speeding out of the driveway. The police station Colin was detained in wasn’t far and Anthony had already sorted out everything.

“Why did you do that?” Benedict asked, breaking the silent and tense atmosphere in the car as Anthony danced along the speeding limit, his foot pressing onto the accelerator to get to Colin.

He was relieved his brother was okay because Anthony was going to kill him himself.

“What?”

“Why didn’t you let Kate come? Over Simon?” Benedict asked, staring flatly at Anthony. “No offence Simon.”

Simon shook his head, pursing his lips. “None taken. I’m happy-well, not happy-happy to help.”

“I didn’t let Kate do anything.” Anthony said, in complete disbelief Benedict was bringing this up. There was a reason he didn’t let Kate come, he was trying to distance her from all of his shit. She didn’t need to be involved in this.

“Oh right,” Benedict said, sarcasm dripping in his tone which pissed off Anthony even further. “That makes sense. As if Kate isn’t involved in everything to do with you and our family. Kate is a part of our family. Why haven’t you done something about it?”

“She doesn’t need to be involved in this.” What the hell was Benedict doing? Why did it feel like everyone was against him? Anthony was trying, he was bloody trying and everything still went to complete shit.

Benedict didn’t buy a word of it. “Are you ever going to tell her?”

“Don’t start this shit tonight Ben,” Anthony said, his tense voice a warning, not a request. “Our brother is in jail.”

“I’m just saying-”

“I didn’t ask,” Anthony interrupted swiftly, his grip on the wheel tightening significantly. He could practically feel the vein in his forehead bulging. “Drop it.”

Anthony could see Benedict glance back at Simon, making some sort of gesture but Simon just shrugged, shaking his head.

Smart move, Hastings.

“Let’s go,” Anthony said once they arrived at the station, getting out of the car and walking into the empty police station. He paid Colin’s bail, filling out a form as he waited for an officer to bring Colin out.

Colin eventually appeared, looking worse for wear. He didn’t look in any way hurt, which made Anthony relax slightly. The blue shirt he was wearing was rumpled and the mop of brown hair on the top of his head was sticking up in various directions, but he was okay.

“Anthony-”

“Not a fucking word,” Anthony snapped, his voice deadly low as he looked at Colin who shut his mouth quickly. “Follow Ben to the car. Now.”

Benedict lightly squeezed Colin on the shoulder as Colin walked towards him, opening and closing his mouth before deciding to do what Anthony said.

Anthony had to take a few deep breaths before he walked out towards the car. He needed to keep his cool. Whatever happened, Colin was his brother and it didn’t need to result in a huge argument. As long as Colin took responsibility for his actions, it would be relatively okay.

Colin was twenty-two years old and still acting like a complete child. He traveled whenever he wasn’t at university and didn’t show any responsibility when it came to their family and his own life. Anthony was trying to not get too involved, getting Colin to even go to university had taken ten years off his life but sometimes Colin really tested his patience.

Anthony’s cool temperament lasted about twenty seconds once he got into the car.

“It wasn’t my fault.”

Anthony snorted while Benedict sighed deeply. “It never is, is it Colin?” “I was drunk,” Colin said, slumping in his seat like Gregory did when he was annoyed about something. “Marina dumped me. I met up with my mates and got drunk. It was a mistake. How was I supposed to know you’re not meant to piss on statues?”

Anthony hesitated for a moment, glancing back at his brother’s face. Colin was in pain. He had really liked Marina, the whirlwind he had met while skiing in France over Christmas. Anthony had never seen his brother fall so hard. “I’m sorry about Marina, Colin. I am. That’s not an excuse to act like a complete and utter idiot and break the law.”

“It was an accident!” Colin snapped back, his voice rising in line with Anthony's. “What do you want me to do, Ant?”

“I just bailed you out of jail,” Anthony snapped, the anger he had been holding in finally coming out. He was racing home within the speed limit, the confinement of the car making him claustrophobic. “I made sure that that stayed off your permanent record so you didn’t get thrown out of university or asked about in job interviews. Instead of acting like a spoiled little brat you could be a little more grateful and shut up.”

“I didn’t ask you to do that.”

“You’re right,” Anthony snapped, really focusing on not losing his head. “Yet I did it anyway.”

“I’m so fucking sorry I’m not perfect like you, Anthony,” Colin said, his voice full of venom as Anthony pulled up into the driveway. “That I’m not perfect like Ben, Daph, El, Franny or fuck it, Dad! I’m so sorry I don’t live up to your perfect expectations.”

“Oh shut up Colin,” Anthony snapped, his voice just as angry as Colin's. “You fucked up. I’m not interested in listening to your sob story to make yourself into a victim. Take some responsibility for once in your life.”

Anthony felt the guilt flood his body as he spoke to his brother. He knew he would be ashamed of himself later, he already was as the words sunk in. He was just so angry. Colin never took responsibility for anything and this was just another time he had gone too far and expected no consequences and Anthony to pick up the pieces.

“Fine,” Colin said, shaking his head as he flung the door open. “Here’s some responsibility for you. I’m dropping out of university.”

Then he slammed Anthony’s car door shut and all hell broke loose.

Anthony didn’t have anything left to say.

His fight with Colin, every insult and dagger he had thrown at him, circled around in his head and rang in his ears. He couldn’t find the words to speak as Kate drove them home. He wanted to say something, to put Kate at ease as she anxiously glanced at him the entire way home.

He just didn’t have anything left in him.

Colin’s words were on repeat in his head like a broken record.

“I don’t need to try to be a carbon copy of Dad to figure out my life. I’m not you, Anthony. Desperately trying to be someone he’ll never be.”

Colin was right.

Anthony sat down on the couch in his flat, his limbs heavy and deflated as the reality of his brother’s words hit him like a tonne of bricks.

He then did something that he hadn’t done since the day his father died, in his mother’s bedroom, away from his family.

He cried.

The sobs hit him like a wave and moved throughout his body, flooding out of him and everything he had been holding in for years. He cried for his dad, who he missed so much it killed him a little bit inside every single day. He cried for the man he desperately was trying to be but knew he never would. He cried for his family who had a gaping hole in it he could never fill. He cried for his family, who he tried so hard for but somehow always managed to fuck it up.

Anthony cried for everything that he had lost, everything that he was selfish enough to be angry about. Everyone he didn’t go, everything he didn’t do and everyone he didn’t meet because he had to step up.

He cried for Kate, the person who made him feel like he was worth something and that he was doing something right sometimes. He could never allow himself to let her know how he felt. He couldn’t do that to her.

Kate held him against her chest, her head resting on top of his as she moved her hand up and down his back, murmuring soothing words as he cried until nothing else could come out.

Anthony was surprised when Colin showed up at his flat the next morning. Kate had made him a cup of tea before putting Newton on his lead, throwing one final glare at Colin and a reassuring smile at Anthony before leaving their flat.

His flat.

His flat.

It was incredibly awkward, as both the Bridgerton men sat on Anthony’s couch in complete silence. Colin was tapping his foot against the ground, looking up at Anthony and back at the floor as his mouth opened and closed as he decided what to say.

“I’ve always liked Kate.”

That took Anthony by surprise. “Who wouldn’t?”

“For a second there,” Colin said, a half chuckle coming out of his mouth that was muffled by his pained expression. “I didn’t think she’d let me in.”

“As someone who has been on the wrong side of Kate many times,” Anthony said, smiling slightly as leaned back into the couch. “I wouldn’t recommend it.”

“She’s terrifying.”

“Absolutely petrifying,” Anthony said, nodding in agreement. “Don’t tell her I said that.”

“Do you hate me?”

Anthony’s head snapped up, the strange lightness of their conversation fading completely. “Of course I don’t hate you.”

“I’d hate me.”

Despite everything that had happened, Anthony was reminded of who was sitting right in front of him. Colin was so like their dad it hurt Anthony sometimes. He was fun, happy, irrational, spontaneous and he cared so passionately about the people in his life. He was also young and still trying to figure things out. He made mistakes. He had his heartbroken. He was just trying.

They were all just trying.

“I love you, Colin,” Anthony said firmly, because it was true and there wasn’t anything his brother could say to ever make Anthony think or feel otherwise. “There’s nothing that could ever happen to make me not love you. Okay? I only want what is best for you. I know how unreasonable I can be sometimes. Maybe I was wrong for thinking what was best for me is what is best for you. I just want you to be okay if something ever happened to me.”

Colin visibly gulped. “Nothing is going to happen to you, Ant. I’ll never be more sorry for what I said about Dad. I didn’t mean it. I am a horrible person for saying that to you. I’ll never forgive myself for it. I do mean this, though. You’re not Dad, Ant. You’re you. You don’t need to be Dad. You don’t need to be anyone else but you. Everyone needs you to be you. We all have gotten this far because you’re you, Ant. Not Dad. Not anyone. You.”

Anthony was absolutely speechless as he listened to Colin. Colin and him had clashed over the years but they were so alike in so many ways.

“I know I haven’t always made things easy on you. I think about him a lot. If he would be proud of me. I don’t think he would.”

“Of course he would,” Anthony said firmly, finally finding his voice. “There’s so much to be proud of. You’re a fantastic person, Colin. You annoy the shit out of me sometimes but you’re an incredible person.”

“I want you to be proud of me.” Colin’s voice was shaky as he spoke, the emotion of the situation finally coming to the surface.

“Colin,” Anthony said seriously, looking at his brother. “There’s no world where I’m not proud of you. You shouldn’t worry about what I think-”

“Anthony,” Colin said seriously, looking his brother in the eye for the first time that morning. “All I think about is what you think. You’re the voice inside of my head. Even if you sometimes annoy the shit out of me, I need you there. I know we all wouldn’t be okay if it wasn’t for you. I’m so sorry I haven’t shown you how much I appreciate that. I’m so sorry. I’ll never be more sorry for that.”

The large lump in Anthony’s throat was becoming extremely painful. “You don’t need to apologize-”

“I do and I am,” Colin said, standing up and moving towards Anthony. “I love you. You’re the type of person all of us can only hope we can be. You’re my big brother. I’m going to hug you now. It’s going to be awkward but I feel like it’s necessary.”

They wrapped their arms around each other, slapping each other’s backs and holding onto each other tightly.

They eventually pulled back, both turning their heads slightly to compose themselves and wipe their eyes with the back of their sleeves.

“That’s enough emotion for a lifetime,” Colin murmured, moving back to his original seat and letting out a sigh. “Beer?”

“Beer.”

Of all the places Anthony Bridgerton imagined himself to be at this point in his life, it wasn’t at his sisters and best friend’s engagement party.

Simon had surprised Anthony by showing up to his flat after him and Colin had sorted things out. Simon had kept a respectful distance since Anthony had found out about Daphne and him, not pushing Anthony into anything and forcing their friendship back to the place it was.

Instead, something else had happened. They were in a new place. They were starting off a clean slate. They were back to hanging out, playing golf, grabbing dinner and drinks. Anthony was his best man. He didn’t want to hold grudges anymore. He wanted his best friend back.

The past week had surprisingly been great. He had decided to put everything on hold with Kate and he had spent an unbelievable amount of time with her this week, going against every part of his initial plan. The only bad part of his week was moving Kate into her new flat. The flat felt so empty and lifeless without her.

He even missed Newton, which is something he’d keep to himself until his deathbed.

Simon joined him at the bar, smacking his back. “Good speech, mate.”

“Mm,” Anthony said, giving him a sarcastic grin as he finished off his whiskey. “I’m happy you enjoyed it.”

“It really came from the heart.”

“Let’s not get soppy,” Anthony said, nodding in thanks to the bartender as he topped up his whiskey glass. “I have just decided I can tolerate you again.”

“Please, I was your favourite person until Miss Kate Sheffield came along,” Simon teased, grinning at Anthony’s side-eye. “Not that I blame you. She’s really something.”

“Back to that speech though,” Simon said, his back to the bar as he surveyed the buzzing dance floor. “I don’t think it was us you were entirely talking about.”

Kate.

Anthony’s heart stopped in his chest. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Of course you don’t,” Simon said, downing the rest of the contents of his glass with a gleeful smirk. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to go dance with my fiance.”

Bastard.

His family really needed to learn to mind their own bloody business.

“Anthony.”

Anthony’s vision was fuzzy. He could hear a light buzzing in his ear. Kate’s words were still playing in his ears.

“Forget me. I don’t want to speak to you ever again.”

He couldn’t let this happen. He wouldn’t let this happen. He had tried so hard to protect them and it only ended with him fucking everything up so royally.

He felt like he wasn’t in control of his body, his eyes were stinging and his limbs were moving out of his own accord. He was bustling through the crowd, trying to find Kate who had disappeared into it.

“Anthony!”

Anthony barely heard his own name until someone grabbed his arm. Francesca.

“Did you know Michael was here?”

Anthony was still moving across the room, Francesca still beside him. “What?”

“Can you believe it?” Francesca said, her bottom lip sticking out as she shook her head in disbelief. More emotions were running across Francesca’s face than Anthony had ever seen in his life. “Ben invited him. John didn’t even know! Apparently he’s Ben's new protégé.”

“Fran, can you hold on a second?” Anthony said, shaking his head and running his hands through his hair, pulling at it. “I’m sorry. I-I need to find Kate. I have to find Kate.”

“Anthony,” Francesca said, her face flooding with concern as she steadied Anthony’s balance with her two hands on his arms. “What is going on? What happened?”

“Anthony.” Benedict had arrived, with Sophie beside him, an anxious look across his face.

“Piss off Ben,” Francesca snapped, her anger at her brother not fading in the slightest as she turned back to Anthony. “Anthony? What happened?”

“He’s asked to intern with me this summer! What was I meant to say Fran? I didn’t realize there was something going on between you-“

“There is nothing going on between us! I’m with John!” Francesca hissed, her anger momentarily shocking the two Bridgertons and Sophie. Francesca had always been calm, cool and collected. That wasn’t what was happening tonight. “I don’t need any relationship advice from someone who snuck around for over a year. Get off your pedestal.”

“It seems like Benedict can’t keep his nose out of anything.” Anthony spat out his brother’s name and didn’t care for Ben’s slight flinch. He needed someone else to blame.

He needed to find Kate.

“Someone had to do something!” Sophie snapped, her eyes completely on Anthony. “We’ve all watched this go on for years and it’s exhausting. Where’s Kate, Anthony?”

“What happened with Kate?” Francesca asked again, her eyes solely on Anthony.

“I was going to find her-“ Anthony said helplessly, his chest tightening which was making it hard to breathe. He had messed it up phenomenally. She was never going to forgive him. “It’s bad. We had a fight. A bad one.”

The meaning of his words seemed to translate as Sophie’s eyes widened, her mouth dropping open slightly as she hastily turned to look around the room.

“I think you’ve done enough.” Sophie snapped, Anthony, Francesca and Benedict’s eyes were wide as they watched Sophie storm away in search of Kate.

“Ant-“

“It’s fine, Ben. I’m sorry I ruined your night. I have to go,” Anthony said, “This is my mess. I’ll fix it.”

“You don’t have to fix it alone.”

“I have to fix it with Kate.” Anthony said, charging through the rest of the crowd and searching everywhere for Kate. Benedict, Colin and Francesca were on his tail, trying to convince him to come inside and sit down and talk to them. He couldn’t. He tried her phone a million times that night but she didn’t pick up. He had to fix this.

Eventually, it was confirmed by Sophie that Kate had left the gallery. She had refused to let Sophie into her flat and that was as much as Anthony was told.

Kate was gone.

Anthony woke up with an excruciating headache and aching limbs. He grumbled as he sat up, feeling a hard exterior under him. He was sleeping in his old childhood bed.

The last time he had slept in this bed was the day before he had left university. The day before he met Kate and his life changed forever. He hated saying it, but it was true. His life had completely changed the minute he met and argued with Kate Sheffield and now-

Now he could have lost her forever.

“You’re up.”

Anthony jumped slightly as he saw Benedict and Colin standing at the foot of his bed, “Were you two watching me sleep? That’s creepy.”

“We were making sure you didn’t choke on your own vomit,” Benedict said carefully, a stern expression on his face but he cowered slightly as Anthony looked at him. Benedict had certainly meddled last night. “You drank a lot after Kate left.” “I’d be impressed with how much you drank if it wasn’t because of such tragic circumstances,” Colin joked, failing to lighten the mood with a joke. “I made you some coffee.”

“Thanks.” Anthony said sourly, nodding at Colin but not appreciating the reminder of what a terrible person Anthony was. Kate had gone and he couldn’t cope, so he drank until he passed out.

Why did he open his stupid mouth and tell her about the kiss? Why didn’t he tell her he loved her back? Why did he try to explain to her why they would never work? It was the everything he had been telling himself again and again and when he had said the words out last night, they were meaningless and stupid. The only thing they had achieved was destroying them both.

What was wrong with him?

He couldn’t get the look of anguish on her face out of his head.

He had done the one thing he had sworn he would never do.

He had hurt her.

“I’m sorry about the gallery, Ben.” Anthony said, shaking his head in shame.

“I’m not,” Benedict said, shrugging as he leaned against the wall. “We sold all of my pieces. I knew what I was doing when I put that piece up there. I’m sorry, Anthony. I really am. I never wanted it to cause all this.”

“You didn’t cause any of this,” Anthony said, shaking his head and letting out a deep sigh. “I did.”

“No, he definitely caused this,” Colin said, completely ignoring Benedict’s glare. “That was a dick move. Ant and Kate were always going to come to blows and have it out but you just threw the toaster into the bathtub with that stunt.”

“Anthony got involved with my love life!” Benedict exclaimed, turning around to glare at his younger brother. “I wanted to help-”

“That’s because Ant is relatively okay at sorting out everyone else’s love life and is absolutely shocking at sorting out his own,” Colin said, shooting Anthony a cheeky grin who just glared back. “Tell us what happened.”

“I was furious about the picture.” Anthony said slowly, not wanting to relive the events of last night ever again. He would have to, everytime he told this story and when he saw Kate again. If he saw her again. She had never responded to any of his calls or messages last night and he hadn’t tried again this morning.

He didn’t want to hurt her further by harassing her.

Anthony needed to see her and speak to her.

“I was acting really unfairly. We started arguing. I said some things. Kate said some things. I said something really stupid,” Anthony said, letting out a deep breath before he continued. “Kate told me she was in love with me. I didn’t say it back. I told her I remembered that kiss I had pretended to forget on my birthday last year. She told me she never wanted to speak to me again.”

“That,” Colin was the first one to speak, “That is a lot worse than I imagined.”

“Helpful Colin,” Benedict said dryly, sitting down on the bed beside Anthony and patting his shoulder. “You messed up. Yes. Kate is hurt. She’ll forgive you. You’re Kate and Anthony. You can fix this.”

“I don’t know, Ben. I’ve never seen that look on her face before. She won’t speak to me,” Anthony said, falling back onto the bed and feeling utterly hopeless. “She’s never going to forgive me. I don’t know what to say.”

Benedict bit his lip, nodding his head. “Ant, you’ve never been able to talk to us the way you’ve been able to talk to Kate.”

“The one person you can talk to won’t talk to you.” Colin said slowly, as if he was putting something together in his head.

Anthony and Benedict both turned towards Colin and raised an eyebrow.

Colin’s face lit up, as if he had just won the lottery. He grinned widely at his two brothers, who looked at him suspiciously. “I have an idea.”

Colin’s brilliant idea was therapy.

Apparently, Colin had a heart to heart with Penelope Fetherington the morning after their argument. Penelope and Eloise were studying together for the day at their house and Eloise had left Penelope in the kitchen with Colin whilst she went off for a shower.

Eloise had not been talking to Colin after the argument, which led to his and Penelope’s strange but heartfelt conversation.

Penelope recommended Colin go to therapy.

That’s how Anthony ended up taking Colin’s therapy appointment at 10am that Saturday morning.

“Why are you here today, Anthony?”

Anthony hadn’t been to therapy since university. It wasn’t for this reason. He had been stressed, having bad panic attacks and feeling overwhelmed by everything. He was back again, for similar but different reasons.

“My brothers thought it would be good if I spoke to someone.” Anthony answered honestly, not feeling entirely comfortable to open up to a complete stranger whose office he had walked into two minutes ago.

“Do you think you need to be here?” His therapist asked, scribbling something down in her notebook.

“I suppose so. No. Yes, I do. I do think so,” Anthony said, scrambling over his words before he sat up straighter in his seat. “I do. It’s what Kate would tell me to do.”

“Who is Kate?”

“Kate is my best friend,” Anthony said instinctively, the meaning of the words hitting him a few seconds later. “Well.”

“Well?”

“It’s complicated.”

His therapist looked straight at him, giving him a friendly but stern smile. “I’m trained in complicated.”

“We’re not currently speaking,” Anthony said slowly, deciding to just let it all out. This is what therapy was for, right? He could be honest for once in my life. “It’s all my fault.”

“How long has it been?” His therapist asked, glancing at the round clock on her wall.

“About 12 hours?”

“Okay.”

“That’s really strange for us,” Anthony hastily explained, quickly feeling embarrassed about the situation and if he was appearing overdramatic. “We talk all the time. We lived together up until last week.

His therapist continued to write down a few sentences, the scraping of the pen against her paper making Anthony’s skin itch. “Tell me what happened.”

“It was a bad argument,” Anthony began, the memories of last night filling him with a heavy dread. “My brother had put a picture of us, multiple pictures of us, on display in a gallery. I panicked and I reacted badly. We both said hurtful things. The worst we’ve ever had. She told me she was in love with me. I told her I remembered our kiss I pretended to forget over a year ago. It ended with her telling me she never wanted to see me again.”

“Do you love her back?”

The question caught Anthony completely off guard. This was the most honest he had been in a very long time and his therapist was brushing over a lot of details, focusing on particular ones. “No, I do.”

“But you didn’t tell her that?”

“No.”

“Hmm,” His therapist said, nodding her head as she continued to scribble down a few sentences. “That is complicated. Could you tell me about your parents?”

Anthony’s breath caught in his throat. He couldn’t face that today. When he had gone to therapy previously, they had sometimes spoken about his parents, mainly his father. Anthony didn’t have the strength. “I don’t want to talk about my father. I need to know what to say to Kate.”

“That’s okay,” She said, nodding her head slowly. “You have every right to not answer this question and I will drop it. Why do you not want to talk about your father?”

“He died when I was eighteen.” Anthony explained, figuring it would come out sooner or later.

“That must have been difficult.”

“It was.” Anthony’s words were caught between his teeth.

“Do you have any siblings?”

“I have seven,” Anthony answered, cracking his knuckles in his lap. “I’m the eldest.”

“I can imagine that’s a lot of responsibility at the age of eighteen,” She said slowly, as if she was trying to figure something out. “Especially when suffering from such a loss.”

“It is,” Anthony said, avoiding her eyes completely as he looked around the room. He didn’t want to talk about his family. That’s not why he came. “It’s my family. I’d do anything for them.”

“Why do you think you don’t deserve love?”

Anthony gaped at her. “I don’t think that.”

“If you were willing to step up and take responsibility for your family and ensure their happiness,” She said, leaning forward in her chair. “Why can’t you do the same for yourself?”

“I don’t want to lose her,” Anthony said, his voice coming out a lot shakier and lower than it had in a long time. “She’s everything to me. Everything. I screw things up. I’ve never been good with relationships. I desperately tried to not screw things up and I did it anyway. I really tried to stop feeling like this. I even went to America to stop feeling like this and try to find someone new. It just always comes back to this and now-now it’s too late.”

“This is terribly cliche, but it’s the truth. It’s never too late and you will never know until you try. Why are you so sure you and Kate will fail? I say you and Kate as there are two of you in this. It seems like you put a lot of pressure on yourself. When it comes to your family and your relationships.” Her words were hitting Anthony forcefully, completely overwhelming him. “You should try giving yourself a chance.”

“I don’t think I can.”

“You are standing in your own way. Why is that?”

He was getting really sick of all these questions.

“Kate deserves better.”

His therapist raised her eyebrow slightly, “Isn’t that for Kate to decide?”

Anthony had no response to that.

“Anthony, we have absolutely no control over what could happen in the future. Our fears will still exist in the past, present and future. What we can try to control is now. Good and bad things happen everyday. Nothing also happens everyday. Nothing sounds quite exhausting, don’t you think?”

“Sometimes it is easier to do nothing. Sometimes, we have to take a chance on the good or bad things happening,” She told him, smiling softly at him. “Sometimes, we just need to take that chance.”

Something just clicked.

He had to take that chance.

“I have to go,” Anthony jumped up, running a hand through his hair and slightly waving the other one around. “I have to talk to Kate. If she’ll talk to me, I’ll take that chance. Right? Right. Yes. Wow. Okay. Thank you, doctor. Thank you-”

“I’ll have my assistant book you in for an appointment next week,” His therapist responded, a slight smile on her face as she stood up to open the door for him. “Good luck, Anthony.”

Colin and Benedict stood up as Anthony walked into the waiting room, curious expressions on their faces.

“I have to tell Kate I’m in love with her.”

Anthony glanced down at his phone, which began buzzing his hand. Edwina’s name flashed on his screen.

Anthony answered the call, his heart beating rapidly in his chest. Maybe it was Kate. Maybe she had lost her phone and that’s why she hadn’t been in contact with him last night. “Edwina?”

“Anthony,” Edwina’s shaky voice spoke through the phone, sending cold shivers down Anthony’s spine. “It’s Kate.”

Anthony had burst through the hospital doors, running up stairs and through doors until he found the room Kate was in after multiple directions from nurses, Colin and Benedict hot on his heels.

Edwina had reassured him that Kate was fine. Her brain scans and other injuries had come back completely clear, the worst thing that had happened was her leg had been broken.

He had to see her. He had to see her alive and breathing. He had to make sure she was okay.

“Kate.”

Anthony had never felt so nauseous and anxious in his entire life.

“Are you okay?”

Kate was there, sitting up in her hospital bed with her casted leg elevated in the air. She didn’t appear to have any other injuries, her dark hair was in a bun on the top of her head and she did have some scrapes and bruises along her arms, and a tiny scratch on her cheek.

“That's none of your business.”

That was the response he expected and it hurt just as he expected. He did deserve it.

“Kate was skating in Hyde Park when a cyclist ran into her, and she landed on her leg," Edwina explained carefully, anxiously glancing between Anthony and Kate. Benedict and Colin were behind Anthony, smiling awkwardly at everyone in the room and shooting a relieved expression at Kate. She smiled back at them, at least she wasn't icing them out.

Kate just refused to look at Anthony. “Get out.”

“We’re going to get some coffee in the canteen.” said Mary, beginning to drag an anxious looking Edwina out of the hospital room.

“Don’t you dare,” Kate snapped, raising her voice at her mother and sister. She pointed at the chairs they just vacated. “Anthony is the only one who will be leaving this hospital room.”

What did he expect? She had every right to be furious with him. It wasn't going to be easy and he would do whatever it took to fix this. To fix them. “I’ll wait in the waiting room until you want to talk.”

“I don’t want to talk.”

He nodded, making his way towards the doorway he had only come through. He knew Kate and pushing her wasn’t going to achieve anything. He had fucked up and he had to fix it in the way she wanted him to. “I’ll just be waiting then.”

And waited, he did.

He waited for two weeks until Kate was released from the hospital.

He tried everything. He had taken the time off work to be there during visiting hours, waiting for her to finally let him speak to her. He had drafted about fifty different speeches before she was released, thinking about everything he had spoken about with his therapist. He went to two more sessions during Kate’s stay and he felt something was really changing.

Except for Kate’s willingness to speak to him.

When he knocked on her door, she told him to get lost. When he brought her flowers, she threw them at him. When he brought her food, she wouldn’t touch it. She ignored his texts and calls.

She had every right to make him suffer and she was doing a superb job at it.

He spent his time on business calls or chatting with whoever was visiting Kate. Every Bridgerton but Anthony had been allowed in. He got to know her nurses and doctors, getting updates on Kate’s progress and asking them questions about her leg and the healing process.

Mary sat beside Anthony in the waiting room one afternoon, handing him a cup of coffee. “Thank you.”

“I started worrying less, you know.”

Anthony turns to look at Mary, frowning in confusion.

“Kate is a very good person. She takes care of people. She took care of Edwina and I more than she should have, especially after my husband died.” A sad expression appeared on her face. “My husband always said Kate tried to take care of him when her mother passed away. She was four years old.”

He smiled sadly, taking a small sip of his coffee. “That sounds like Kate.”

“It does, doesn’t it?” Mary nodded her head, wrapping her hands around her coffee cup. “I always wanted that for her. Someone who would take care of her and she would let them. I wasn’t so sure it would ever happen until she brought you home.”

Anthony blinked at Mary, completely taken aback. He had known Mary for eight years now and they had spent a good bit of time together, but he couldn’t remember ever speaking to her alone. Especially like this.

“I knew she finally had someone to take care of her. You’ve been so good to her.”

“I don’t know if she’ll forgive me this time Mary,” Anthony said, his voice croaky as he hung his head low. “I don’t know if I deserve to be forgiven.”

“Kate didn’t talk to her father and I for two weeks because we didn’t let her go to an Eminem concert when she was twelve years old,” Mary said, chuckling softly at the fond memory. “She will come around.”

“We all make mistakes, Anthony. I don’t know what happened between you two,” Mary said softly, reaching over to squeeze his hands. “I do know you’ll be able to fix yours.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“Kate,” Edwina said, exhaustion flooding her voice as she pushed Kate’s wheelchair to a stop in front of the exit of the hospital. “Anthony’s car is the only car big enough to bring you home! You’re meant to lie across the back seat.”

Kate was glaring at Anthony with such an intensity, he was genuinely terrified. She was absolutely furious at the prospect of Anthony driving her home. “I’d rather walk.”

“I suppose you should have thought about that before you went skating on those death traps,” Anthony said, deciding that if she wouldn’t talk to him, he might be able to at least get an insult if he winded her up. Then, she would technically have spoken to him. “Hop on in.”

Kate’s mouth dropped open as she watched Anthony open up his back door, which had been filled with blankets and pillows to help Kate get comfortable. She knew she had no choice. The two nurses helped Kate into the backseat, buckling her in as Edwina got into Anthony’s car. Mary was following them home.

Kate, furious about recent events, was sulking in the back seat.

Edwina and Sophie hadn’t been overly kind to Anthony the first week after Kate’s accident. He didn’t blame them, he deserved every single bit of slack he got for what he’d done. They had eased up on him the last week, probably out of pure pity as he desperately tried to fix things with Kate who so far wanted nothing to do with him.

They finished their awkward car ride once Anthony parked in Kate’s flat’s underground car park. Now the fun really began. He would make himself useful in any way he could to help Kate, so Edwina and Mary had asked him to drive her home once he had offered.

“Kate,” Edwina said slowly, clearly nervous about what she was about to say as she opened her sister’s door. “Mum and I aren’t strong enough to get you out of the car.”

“Whose side are you on?” Kate snapped, realizing exactly what was going on. “There’s not a chance in hell-”

“I am on your leg’s side!” Edwina snapped, everyone’s eyes widening as Edwina’s temper flared. It was a rare sight. “I am losing the will to live here, Kate. Just let Anthony carry you upstairs and you can do whatever you want. Throw anything you want at him for all I care. Just get upstairs.”

Anthony leaned into the back seat, carefully moving Kate and her leg towards the edge of the seat. They were so close, his arms wrapped around her. If he looked at her, he could count the freckles sprawled across her nose and cheek and how many eyelashes she had. He had done it a million times before.

Except he couldn’t.

Kate refused to look at him.

He got her out of the car until she could support herself on her crutches, making her way towards the lifts. Anthony, Edwina and Mary brought all of her bags upstairs to her flat. Anthony had stocked her fridge and cupboards with all her favourite things and had gotten it professionally cleaned yesterday. He also had about five bouquets of tulips in each room.

“Simon dropped in some food from his restaurant,” Edwina said, smiling softly as she began to unpack the bag. “Thank god. I’m starving. Anthony?”

“I’ll go.” Anthony said, shaking his head as he headed towards the door after dropping the last bag on the floor. The hope he had of fixing things with Kate was really starting to diminish. She really despised him.

She wouldn’t even look at him.

Kate waved a crutch in his direction. It was the first time she had spoken to only him directly in over two weeks. “Stop getting me tulips!”

Anthony turned around to look at her, shaking his head simply. “No.”

“We are going to go out for a walk,” Mary suggested loudly, tugging at Edwina who gaped at her mother in disbelief and then glanced back down at the food. The two Sheffields practically ran out of Kate’s flat, bag of food in their hand, and surprisingly weren’t stopped by Kate.

This was his chance.

“How are you?”

Kate’s hard glare hadn’t faded. “Why do you care?”

He visibly softened. “Of course I care.”

“I don’t think you do, actually,” Kate snapped, aggressively fluffing the pillows behind her back where she sat on her grey couch. “I thought you cared until I realized what you had done. I thought you cared until I stood there telling you I loved you and all you did was tell me that you had lied to me and how we would never work. I never expected you to love me back, what did I expect was some-”

“Are you on drugs?”

“Excuse me?” Kate’s voice was almost a shriek.

Anthony had to really stop himself from rolling his eyes. “I can’t say this if you’re in any way inebriated.”

“No,” Kate muttered, crossing her arms across her chest, “I still despise you, so I’m of sound mind.”

“I should have kissed you. That night. When we were at Aubrey Hall. Seven years ago. I should have kissed you in the lake. I should have kissed you at the Law Ball in college. I should have kissed you when we were in Spain. When we were in my dorm. Your dorm. In the morning. In the afternoon. In the evening. There were so many times where I should have kissed you, Kate.”

“You did kiss me,” Kate spat out, tears flooding her eyes that made Anthony’s chest clench. “You kissed me and you pretended that you didn’t remember.”

“I’m an idiot. I’m a fool. There’s no rational explanation for why I did it. I was so scared of losing you, Kate. But I lost you anyway. I’ll never be more sorry for that, Kate.” Anthony took a few tentative steps towards her, crouching down so he was at her eye level. “I’m so sorry for hurting you. Please, just listen to me. I’ll leave you alone afterwards if that’s what you want.”

“I was on my way to yours when Edwina rang me,” Anthony said, trying to remember everything he had wanted to say and had written down so many times. “I was on my way to tell you I was in love with you. I was an asshole, the night of the gallery. A complete asshole. I panicked. I saw everything on that bloody picture that I have wanted and dreamed of for years, and I panicked. I was so scared of losing what we had that I was too scared to take the chance on having something more.”

Kate stared at him with her wide brown eyes, the ones he had missed so bloody much. He had missed everything about her and now he was here and he was trying. He was desperately trying and he had no idea if it would be enough. “What are you trying to say, Anthony?”

“I’m in love with you. I’ve been in love with you since I was nineteen years old. I’ve denied it and denied it, because I’m screwed up, and I know you deserve better than me, but it's always been you Kate. It will always be you. I was terrified of screwing things up and losing you because I can’t live without you Kate. I don’t ever want to. You’re my best friend. You’re my person.”

“When I heard you were hurt and there was a chance that I could lose you-I can’t fathom life without you, Kate.” Anthony’s voice broke off as he spoke, his voice choking on air. “I can’t. I don’t want to. All I want is you, Kate. I’ll do anything to prove that to you. I’m all in. If you’ll have me.”

“Why do you get to decide?”

Anthony blinked at her through his watery eyes, hastily wiping them. He had finally said everything he wanted to say and the biggest weight had been taken off his chest. The anxiety of waiting on Kate’s response still clawed at him. “What?”

“Why do you get to decide that I deserve better than you?” Kate asked, narrowing her eyes as she looked at him.

“I don’t know,” He answered honestly, shaking his head as he leaned against the couch. “It wasn’t that I decided. It was just so obvious to me. You deserve everything, Kate. Everything. That isn’t me. All I can do is try-”

“No.”

His heart stopped in his chest, a rigid stance completely taken over. Was this it? Was Kate ending things forever? Has he lost for her good?

“You should have asked me.”

Anthony couldn’t help the sigh of relief that came out of him. “I know.”

“I’ve always been smarter than you.”

He smiled softly, nodding his head. “That’s debatable.”

“Do you always have to have an answer for everything?” She asked, completely exasperated, but there wasn’t any annoyance detected in her tone. It was almost teasing.

“I suppose,” He said slowly, his eyes never moving off hers. “Some things never changed.”

“No,” She said softly, her eyes moving around his face. “They really don’t.”

“I should have asked you too,” Kate added a few seconds later, visibly gulping as she pushed some of the loose strands of hair in front of her face behind her ears.

“I’m still so mad at you,” She murmured, blinking away a few tears that rolled down her red cheeks. “I’m so mad. I’m not going to suddenly stop being mad because you’re in love with me and I’m in love with you. We’re going to have to work at this. It isn’t going to be easy.”

“I deserve it.” He nodded in agreement, not being able to stop the small smile breaking out on his face as she said she loved him. “I know. I’ll do anything, Kate. Anything.”

She loved him.

She loved him.

Kate was in love with him.

“Hold my hand.” She murmured, extending her fingers towards him. Their fingers interlock smoothly, her soft, petite palm and his large, rougher hand against each other.

“If you had asked me,” Kate said, her voice coming out wobbly as she spoke. “I would have told you that you’re it for me. It’s always been you. From the moment I met you, it was always going to be you. I didn’t stand a chance. It’s not about deserving, Anthony. It’s about being there for someone no matter what. You’ve always been there for me. And I always want you to be.”

Their faces were extremely close now. He could smell her again, that soft scene of lilies and soap that he had missed so much. He could count the freckles on her cheek and her long, delicate eyelashes. His lips are “I’m sorry it took me so long.”

“Us,” Kate corrected him, her breathing small and shallow. “It only took us eight years.”

“This isn’t how I imagined it.”

“I’m so tired of imagining, aren’t you?”

He kisses her.

It’s better than he’s ever imagined it.

Why?

Because it’s real.

[olivemac]

heartbeat | chapter five | b.b.

Summary | When Steve Rogers asks Kate Stark to find the Winter Soldier, she gets too involved.

Notes | Captain America: Civil War re-write, essentially. Starts just after the events of CA: Winter Soldier.

Pairing | Bucky Barnes x fem!oc, Bucky Barnes x Stark!oc

Genre | romance

Rating | explicit

Story Warnings | mild angst, fluff, romance tropes, so many romance tropes, coarse language, alcohol use, canon-typical violence, smut (m/f), oral sex (f&m receiving), 18+ ONLY

Chapter Warnings | canon-typical violence, cheeeeeeese factor, mentions of alcohol, mild language

Citation | Russo, J., & Russo, A. (2016). Captain America: Civil War. Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures.

Translations:

Ich will dich küssen. = I want to kiss you.

Bitte. = Please.

A/N #1 |The only German speaker in my house is my husband, but I didn't have him check the translations because they're so short. So, if they're wrong, blame Google.

A/N #2 | I've been working to update this story daily, but last night I accidentally deleted my work on the last two chapters. I tried everything I could to recover it, but it looks like I'll be rewriting them. So, no update for a couple of days, at least. And send me positive vibes because I'm going insane over it. Haha.

master list | AO3 link

_____

prev chapter

_____

In Vienna, Steve's just finished a call with Natasha when his phone buzzes with a text from Kate. He hasn't heard from her in months, maybe a year. He frowns.

911. Call me. I found him.

Kate picks up on the first ring. "I'm sending you coordinates. He didn't do this," she says before Steve can get a word in.

"How do you know?" Steve asks.

She pauses, then says, "I've been with him in Bucharest for eight months."

Steve sighs and pushes his sunglasses up a bit so he can massage the bridge of his nose. He can feel a headache coming on. "Sit tight. I'll be there soon," he tells Kate.

He hangs up and meets Sam at a coffee shop nearby.

"Kate found him," Steve tells Sam.

"Where?" Sam asks.

"Bucharest. She's there. With Bucky. Has been for some time. Says he didn't do this."

Sam shakes his head, then asks, "Nat tell you to stay out of it? Might have a point."

"He'd do it for me," Steve says.

"1945, maybe," Sam says. "I just want to make sure we consider all our options. The people that shoot at you usually wind-up shooting at me."

Sharon joins them, discreetly. "Tips have been pouring in since that footage went public. Everybody thinks the Winter Solder goes to their gym," she tells Steve.

Steve interrupts her, "I know where he is." Sharon frowns. Steve continues, "I’ve had someone looking for him for the past two years."

"Then you don't need this," Sharon says, indicating the file in her hands.

"Thank you," Steve says.

"You're going to have to hurry. We have orders to shoot on sight."

_____

"Cap," Kate acknowledges when she opens the apartment door for Steve.

"You should have told me," Steve frowns, following her into the space.

Kate sighs, "I didn't want you to get hurt. I wanted to know what he remembered."

"You could have gotten hurt," Steve stresses.

"Bucky wouldn't hurt me."

Steve looks pointedly at the bruises on her neck, and Kate blushes but stays silent.

"So, he's Bucky again?" he asks.

"Yes," Kate replies. "He's not here, by the way. And he wasn't in Vienna."

"Interpol, CIA, MI-6, everyone thinks he was there."

"Well, he wasn't," she says sharply. "He was here. With me."

"Can you prove it?" Steve asks.

Kate bristles. "You don't believe me."

"You went after him without telling me!"

She doesn't respond. "His apartment is next door. He'll be back soon," she says, leading the way.

"Kate," Steve says, looking at her, "They’re coming for him. But I'll do what I can do hold them off."

"I know," she nods.

_____

Bucky scans the street. He left Kate in bed, naked and warm, and he wants to get back to her. But a news vendor is staring at him with recognition, and it makes the hair on the back of his neck stand up. As he meets the man's eyes cautiously, the vendor turns and runs from the kiosk. Fuck, Bucky thinks. He picks up the newspaper and his blood runs cold. Winter Soldier wanted for Vienna bombing. He needs to get back to Kate. Then he needs to get out of the country.

_____

Steve looks around Bucky's apartment. There's a mattress on the floor, the sheets disheveled, but not much else. Steve wonders how much time Bucky spent here versus next door with Kate. He lifts a notebook off the top of the fridge and opens it. His own face looks up at him from a museum brochure.

Sam’s voice comes through on the comms, "Head's up, Cap. German Special Forces approaching from the south."

"Understood," Steve says. When he turns, Bucky is standing behind him. "Do you know me?"

Bucky stares at him. "You're Steve. I read about you in a museum."

Sam is in Steve's ear, "They've set the perimeter."

“I know you’re nervous,” Steve tells Bucky, “and you have plenty of reason to be. But you’re lying."

“I wasn't in Vienna. I don't do that anymore," Bucky responds firmly.

"They're entering the building," Sam warns.

"That's what Kate said," Steve says.

"Where is she?" Bucky asks, his jaw clenching.

"She's safe. With my colleague," Steve points to his earpiece. Bucky nods. Steve continues, "The people who think you were in Vienna are coming here now. And they're not planning on taking you alive."

"That's smart. Good strategy," Bucky says. He can hear footsteps above them.

_____

On the roof, Sam looks at Kate as he tells Steve, "They're on the roof. We're compromised."

"You go," she says to Sam. "I'm a civilian; they won't see me as a threat." Sam nods and takes off.

Kate moves in the opposite direction. Two members of the German Special Forces move slowly in front of her, their backs to her.

"Officers," she says and as the one closest to her turns, she clocks him the nose with her fist. He reels backwards, and the soldier behind him charges at her. Kate sweeps his legs out from under him but a third soldier she didn't see has a hold of her before she can react. She grunts and pulls against his hands around her wrists. He says something into his comms and leads her to the stairs.

She doesn't see Sam or Steve again until she's thrown into the back of police van with them. A man she doesn't recognize sits in front of Steve. Steve turns and meets her eyes, and she gives him a reassuring smile. He's stony faced. She wants to ask about Bucky, but she already knows the answer. She stays quiet.

_____

"I thought you were eat-pray-loving your way through Europe!" Tony half-shouts at Kate when they're reunited at the Joint Counter Terrorist Centre in Berlin.

"Romania is Europe," she says. She knows it's not the time to be a smartass, but she can't help it when Tony is involved.

Tony's face is red with anger. "I was picturing day drinking at the Louvre, not shacking up with a cyborg assassin!"

"Tony," Steve warns.

Tony turns to him, "No, you stay out of this. You've done enough."

Beside him, Natasha Romanoff stays silent, studying the bruises on Kate's neck.

"You're lucky they're not charging you with something," he says. "You assaulted an officer. I'm having everything in that apartment of yours packed up and sent to New York. It'll be waiting for you when you arrive. We'll talk about this later."

Kate scoffs, "What? You're sending me to my room?"

"Yes," Tony responds before turning his back to her.

_____

"He could have killed you," Natasha hisses when she finally gets Kate alone in the women's bathroom.

"He wouldn't," Kate replies.

Nat points to Kate's bruised neck, and Kate at least has the decency to look chagrined. “I hid who I was," she says. "He found out. He thought I was HYDRA."

Nat studies Kate's face. "You're in love with him," she says, shock evident in her voice.

"Nat."

"You're in love with him," she repeats. "Katie, this is a bad idea."

Kate bristles at the nickname Nat only uses when she's playing big sister and doling out advice. "Nat, please," Kate says, but she's not sure what exactly she's asking for. She needs someone to understand, but she also doesn't want the sympathy or disappointment she sees in Natasha's eyes.

"Tony isn't going to like this," Nat finally says.

"When has he ever liked a guy I've dated?" Kate asks, smiling.

Nat smirks, then says, "I need to get back in there."

"I'm right behind you," Kate says. "Just give me a minute."

In the bathroom, finally alone, Kate splashes water on her face and takes a few deep breaths. She looks at herself in the mirror. Her hair's a mess and there are dark circles forming under her hazel eyes. She runs her fingers through her curls and sighs.

Then the lights go out.

Kate pauses for a moment, expecting the lights to come back on, but when a siren sounds, she knows something's up. And it probably involves Bucky. When she opens the bathroom door, people are streaming past. Kate uses the chaos to shake the agent that was assigned to watch her and exits the building during the evacuation.

_____

Steve texts Kate the coordinates to an abandoned warehouse, and she makes her way there. She knows everyone will be looking for Captain America, the Falcon, and the Winter Soldier, so it's easy enough for her to move through the city undetected.

When she arrives, Steve is waiting at the door.

"What the hell happened?" she asks him.

"The psychiatrist wasn't with Joint Counter Terrorism. He triggered the Winter Soldier," Steve says.

She pushes past him to find Sam watching over an unconscious Bucky, his titanium arm clamped in an industrial vice. Bucky groans and begins to stir. Kate kneels in front of him.

"Watch it," Sam warns.

“Hi,” she says. She takes Bucky’s face in her hands, looking into his eyes and checking for signs of concussion. “There you are.”

“Hi,” Bucky replies softly. He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

"Hey, Cap!" Sam calls.

Kate drops her hands when Steve enters, but stays kneeling in front of Bucky.

Bucky looks up at Steve. "Steve," he says.

"Which Bucky am I talking to?" Steve asks.

Bucky pauses. "Your mom's name was Sarah," he says, and then chuckles, "You used to wear newspapers in your shoes."

"Can't read that in a museum," Steve says.

Sam raises his eyebrows skeptically. "Just like that, we're supposed to be cool?"

"What did I do?" Bucky asks.

"Enough," Steve answers.

"Oh, God, I knew this would happen," Bucky sighs, "Everything HYDRA put inside me is still there. All he had to do was say the goddamn words."

Kate squeezes Bucky's right hand in her own.

"Who was he?" Steve questions.

Bucky shakes his head, "I don't know."

"People are dead,” Steve tells him. “The bombing, the setup. The doctor did all that just to get 10 minutes with you. I need you to do better than 'I don't know'.”

Bucky pauses. "He wanted to know about Siberia. Where I was kept. He wanted to know exactly where."

"Why would he need to know that?" Steve asks.

"Because I'm not the only Winter Soldier."

Kate looks at Steve. "Can we get him out of this thing, please?"

Steve acquiesces and when Bucky is free, he rotates his shoulder to work out the kinks. Kate takes his metal hand in hers and kisses his palm. Steve hates to deny him this, deny Bucky any bit of affection Kate is willing to show him, but they need answers.

"Who were they?" Steve asks.

"Their most elite death squad. More kills than anyone in HYDRA history. And that was before the serum," Bucky says.

"They all turn out like you?" Sam asks.

"Worse."

"The doctor, could he control them?" Steve questions.

"Enough," Bucky answers, looking down.

Steve looks at Sam. "Said he wanted to see an empire fall."

"With these guys he could do it," Bucky says. "They speak 30 languages, can hide in plain sight, infiltrate, assassinate, destabilize. They can take a whole country down in one night. You'd never see them coming."

Sam steps over to Steve. "This would have been a lot easier a week ago," he says.

"If we call Tony," Steve starts.

"No, he won't believe us," Sam says.

"Even if he did..." Steve trails off.

"Who knows if the Accords would let him help," Sam finishes.

Steve sighs, "We're on our own."

"Maybe not," Sam says. "I know a guy."

While Steve and Sam make plans, Kate watches Bucky closely.

"I'm sorry," she whispers to him.

Bucky shakes his head, "You don't have anything to be sorry for."

She smiles softly. "I'm still sorry."

"Make it up to me," he says, echoing her words from their last night together.

She leans up and kisses him gently, and Bucky drops his hands to her waist and pulls her up onto his knee, deepening the kiss. His hands move up to cup her face and when they pull apart, he leans his forehead against hers.

"Not the time!" Sam says from across the room.

Steve is almost blushing.

Kate looks sheepish as she stands from Bucky's lap. He watches her. He hadn't told them about where the super soldier serum came from, but he would have to eventually. For now, he pushes the thought down and takes Kate's hand in his, following Sam and Steve out of the warehouse.

_____

Sharon meets the four of them under an overpass just outside the city to hand over Captain America's shield and the Falcon's wings. Sam, Kate, and Bucky stay in the car to give Sharon and Steve some privacy.

Bucky stares at Sam in front of him in the passenger seat. "Can you move your seat up?"

"No," Sam says without looking back.

Bucky frowns and slides closer to Kate's side of the car. She rolls her eyes, lifts off the seat of the small Volkswagen, and climbs over Bucky's lap, moving behind Sam. "Play nice, you two," she says.

The three of them watch from the car as Steve and Sharon share a kiss.

"I'm starting to feel like a damn fifth wheel," Sam says, throwing up his hands.

Kate clamps a hand over her mouth to keep from laughing, and Bucky smiles at her.

____

Later that night, Steve pulls the car into the back lot of a seedy motel.

"I'll go in," Kate says, getting out. "I speak enough German to book us rooms. Plus, no one's looking for me, and I have cash."

When she comes back out, she tosses a room key to Sam through the open car window and says, "Two rooms. Right next to each other."

"Thanks, Kate," Steve says. "Get some sleep, everyone."

"You speak German?" Bucky asks when he and Kate are alone.

"Better than I speak Romanian," she says. "But my French is best."

Bucky stares at her.

"I spent an entire Octoberfest in Munich one year," Kate says. "Picked up a few phrases. Mostly ‘Can I get another beer?’ and ‘No, I won’t go home with you,’ but I get by.”

"Ich will dich küssen," Bucky says, reaching up to cup her cheek.

"Bitte," Kate laughs.

Bucky leans forward and captures her lips with his own. He runs his tongue along her bottom lip until she opens her mouth for him. His hands move to grip her waist tightly, and she slides her own arms around his neck.

They’re interrupted by a knock at the door.

Kate finds Steve standing outside. He pushes the door open wider with one arm and asks, “Do you mind if I talk to Bucky?”

Kate looks at Bucky and says, “I’ll be next door bothering Sam.” Then she ducks under Steve’s arm and out the door.

Steve walks into the room slowly. “How you holding up?” he asks, looking at Bucky.

“I didn’t mean for any of this to happen,” Bucky says, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“I know, pal,” Steve says, sitting beside him. He claps Bucky on the back. “But I told you I’d be here to the end of the line.”

“Steve…” Bucky starts, unable to look at him. He doesn’t finish the thought.

They sit in silence for a minute, until Steve says, “So…Kate….” It’s half question, half statement.

Bucky chuckles, “Yeah. Kate.”

“How did that happen?” Steve asks.

“Apart from when you called me Bucky in D.C., she was the first person to look at me in seventy years. I mean, actually look at me, see me, talkto me.” Bucky’s quiet for a moment. “Plus, she’s a knockout,” he says, and Steve sees the glimmer of his old friend in Bucky’s eyes. “And she can cook,” Bucky adds.

Steve laughs. “Your mom was always a great cook,” he says.

Grief flashes across Bucky’s face before he can stop it.

“I know it’s hard,” Steve says, “coming back and everyone being…gone.”

Bucky nods.

“But you’ve got me,” Steve continues, “and Kate. And Sam, too.”

Bucky snorts. “I don’t think he’s my biggest fan.”

Steve chuckles. “He’ll come around.” He stands up. “Speaking of Sam, I should probably go rescue him from Kate. The last time I left them alone, she hacked into his phone and changed all his contacts to Harry Potter characters because he said he hadn’t read the books.”

“What the hell is Harry Potter?” Bucky says.

“You’ve got a lot to catch up on,” Steve says. “But first, let’s deal with this doctor."

Bucky nods, and Steve leaves him alone. A minute later, Kate returns. She kicks her shoes off at the door and throws herself down on the bed beside Bucky.

"I'm exhausted," she says, closing her eyes.

Bucky stands and flips the lights off before shedding his jeans and shirt and joining Kate on the bed again.

"Come here," he says, reaching for her. His fingers find the button of her jeans, popping it open and pushing them down her hips. She kicks them off her legs, and when Bucky throws them off the side of the bed, he pulls her tightly against his chest. "Sleep," he murmurs against her hair and presses a kiss to the top of her head. And they both fall asleep to the sound of the other’s heartbeat.

_____

next chapter

[lisbonsteresa]

let me be a clown and send LucyxRyan for the ship ask meme (if you're still doing it!)

CHARLIE 🥲

yes of course we're all clowns here honk honk but i WILL be thinking of these only in the happiest 'Lucy lives; the townfolk are not dicks; Hudson Enterprises is somehow taken down; Everett chokes on his own self-importance; Ryan keeps a small amount of his money and he and Lucy lead a slightly nicer than modest life with Nancy in HB' kind of context

__

1. Who buys flowers for the other

When they first started dating, Ryan told Lucy he'd buy out a flower shop just to make her smile. She'd laughed then, and when she opened her locker a few days later and nearly 100 daisies came spilling out she laughed again and kissed him soundly once she found him (he's mellowed out a bit in his 'old age' as Nancy puts it but he still gives Lucy flowers at any possible occasion - i picture daisies and yarrow and maybe daffodils bc i like lucy and yellow but i'm reading too much into flower meanings now) (also in the real timeline there's a bouquet of pink carnations that shows up on Lucy's grave twice a year - her birthday and the day she died - and no one knows where they come from but also everyone knows where they come from and also i'm sad)

2. Who makes the other coffee/tea

Lucy makes Ryan coffee almost every morning - usually to-go so he can have it on his way to work as Carson Drew's legal assistant (it was an unlikely partnership but the Sables ryan took lucy's name argue with the wall and the Drews are super close and Carson and Kate spoil their goddaughter Nancy rotten)

And Ryan makes Lucy tea almost every night and they sit on the couch with their legs all tangled while he reviews briefings and she grades assignments (she teaches creative writing/poetry at a local community college) (Nancy complains almost every time she comes home from a shift at the Claw or a night out with a certain dishwasher *ahem* to find them like this because 'get over yourselves you're not 17 anymore' but she does it with a giant grin on her face and they always find space for her to squeeze in between them)

3. Who eats the most candy on Halloween

Ryan - Lucy prefers ice cream to candy when it comes to sweets, but she does pick up a back-up bag every year so 'there's some left over for the other children' (they all laugh at it now but Nancy wasn't laughing that time she was 11 and she found the wrappers for all her missing trick-or-treating loot in her dad's office trash)

4. Who tries new recipes all the time

Lucy is the only one who tries any recipes, because somehow even after nearly 20 years and raising a child together, her cooking skills still have yet to start to rub off on Ryan (he's there to assist with anything he can and he always does the dishes to compensate, but any time Lucy is away for the weekend or having dinner out with her mom and Josh, Nancy knows it's going to be a take out night honestly they're both thankful ryan stopped trying after he nearly burned the house down trying to cook a frozen pizza)

5. Who genuinely likes pineapple on pizza

Both - Lucy's loved it since she was little, and Ryan always made fun of her for it until she finally forced him to try a slice and now he won't shut up about how good it is (neither of them can convince Nancy, however)

6. Who wears hats on special occasions

....Neither....Lucy doesn't like how she looks in hats and Ryan doesn't like how they 'ruin' his hair (the only exception - a special occasion, if you will - is when Carson and Ryan get together to watch/go to a baseball game because they Dad-out and Ryan has to show his team his support)

7. Who likes ‘90s R&B

Ryan - technically, being teens in the 90s, they both enjoy it, but I just picture Lucy being more of a singer-songwriter kind of gal

8. Who likes long walks on the beach

Both - they are insanely sappy fight me and they love long walks at sunset (and they also loved when Nancy was younger and they'd swing her between them...when they were able to pull her away from studying the tide pools and/or other beachgoers...) (but also: it takes the Sables a while to warm up to Ryan and him going on long walks with them really helped them get to know/like him more as a person rather than a Hudson)

9. Who buys wacky picture frames

They don't so much buy them, but during elementary school Nancy went through a big moment of making those popsicle-stick picture frames (she colored them horribly with puffy paint and threw pom-poms and glitter all over them) and they have yet to get rid of any of them (even when they start falling apart and she begs them to)

10. Who compares themselves to fictional/celebrity couples

'I mean, to be fair, we kind of were a celebrity couple for a while there' 'Being in the papers for your father tanking his company and being brought up on 12 counts of tax evasion is not really the kind of celebrity you think it is sweetheart'

11. Who can solve a rubix cube

It might take them a few days, but eventually they can get it together (they do not, however, do so very often because Ryan is still pouting over the time his 8 year old daughter solved it in less than half the time it took him)

12. Who would wear Hawaiian shirts on vacation/during the summer

You cannot convince me Ryan would not (it's one of the first things he and Ace bond over - he likes his daughter's taste in men's taste in casual wear)

13. Who wears mismatched socks because they can’t keep up with the pairs

Lucy is meticulous with sock matching whenever she does a load specifically because Ryan's philosophy seems to be 'eh, they're both white....it's probably fine'

[alrightsnaps]

Bridgerton had a 2 season order from the start. Netflix ~officially~ announced its renewal in January, but pre-pandemic S2 was supposed to go into production summer 2020. Shonda Rhimes’ debut show was never going to be cancelled after 1 season anyway. Netflix always had high expectations for it (there are articles in the trades about shareholder meetings months before the show premiered expressing this; S1 cost 11M/episode). Albeit not quite the juggernaut it became. They wouldn’t have cast an actor like Jonathan Bailey (fresh off his Olivier win) if they weren’t sure he would have something to do.

So casting Luke Newton as a future lead was an egregious oversight. Also, frankly, it’s generous to say his “baby face” is the problem. It’s mean but he just is not attractive. He’s not ugly at all but I see significantly more handsome men every day living in a major city. LN’s not making adult women swoon as the hero in a romance adaption must. Now if he had a certain thing where he was insanely charming and magnetic maybe he could work, but he doesn’t. For example, Paul Mescal is not traditionally “hot” but a lot of people find him attractive because of the way he carries himself. Luke Newton isn’t like that.

Nicola deserved a better partner for her season!

Thanks for the info, I didn't know that! But yeah, it definitely shows from how much they expanded on Anthony's character in season 1 that they were preparing the ground for him to take over as a lead in season 2. They may not have been able to predict the insane explosion of popularity the first season enjoyed, but it was hardly a low stakes show. It was produced by Shonda Rhimes and had Julie freaking Andrews voicing Lady Whistledown for heaven's sake!

So I agree about casting Luke Newton being a huge oversight. Since the LW reveal is clearly a potential finale they've had in mind for the show, they knew he's a potential male lead from the beginning.

(I don't think what the previous anon said is about him having a baby face being a problem, rather that they cast him because he has a baby face due to him being the youngest of the adult Bridgertons and his s01 arc having to do with him being too naive and not having enough experience. But that's just not enough of a reason for me!)

I absolutely agree about attractiveness having a lot to do with the way one carries himself and that's why I can't see Luke Newton as a successful romantic lead in season 4. Luke Thompson is the perfect example of this because if I'd only seen a picture of him I wouldn't necessarily go crazy about his looks, but the way he plays Benedict truly gives him a magnetic level of attractiveness. You can just tell they'll have no issue in season 3, and if their casting of Sophie is as successful as Kate's they'll have a hit in their hands.

I second the part about Nicola, it really is a shame!

[invisibleinorange]

Swelter Weather | 6/?

Chapters: 6/? Fandom: Bridgerton Rating: M Warnings: None at this point. Relationships: Colin Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington,  Eloise Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington(besties),  Bridgerton Family Dynamics, Marina Thompson/Phillip Crane, Eloise Bridgerton/Phillip Crane, Kate Sheffield/Anthony Bridgerton, Daphne Bridgerton/Simon Hastings Characters: Colin Bridgerton,  Penelope Featherington, Eloise Bridgerton, Phillip Crane, Benedict Bridgerton, Daphne Bridgerton, Additional Tags:  Bridgerton, Polin

Summary: Colin Bridgerton is weary from travel and decides to spend the summer at the Aubrey Hall. While his initial plans were to avoid his perfect family, he ends up sharing the house with Eloise and Penelope. This is a Modern AU!

It was a little wrong to sneak out and leave Eloise alone with a man that she’d just met but Penelope was willing to wager that their friendship would survive this slight.  They’d had plenty of disagreements over the years and they nearly always made up. Nine times out of ten, their disagreements revolved around little secrets that Penelope wasn’t quite prepared to divulge and Eloise failing to be observant about them or Eloise being a little overly pushy with her own feelings and opinions.

This time would be different. Penelope had already made her mind up about this. She had every intention of sitting her down, having a heart to heart conversation about this Colin thing but first she had to be sure that there was actually going to be one.  She didn’t actually know what was happening. She just knew that she’d always wanted something to happen and it was and she was terrified if she stopped it, she’d never be this lucky again.

That was why she dragged Colin away from the corner they’d disappeared to for longer than was appropriate to find Eloise and Phillip at the bar.  She had a single-mission apologize away and then go. She’d ask for forgiveness later.

“There you two are,” Eloise asked suspiciously eyeing them curiously.

Phillip oddly didn’t look suspicious at all though Penelope did pick up on a hint of some sort of secret smile toward Colin.  It definitely didn’t go without notice and it did strike her that perhaps Colin had known precisely what he was doing tonight. They weren’t the distraction for Phillip. Phillip was the distraction for Eloise. He was a reasonably good-looking, nice guy and it had worked swimmingly. Penelope had to give credit where credit was due.

“Yeah, sorry – I think something I had at lunch didn’t settle well,” she said, telling a little white lie.  She might have failed by not exactly telling Colin more than they were going to be leaving as he looked confused for a fraction of a second.

“Oh, so… Colin is going to escort you home then?” Phillip said with the save.

Penelope hadn’t really had the chance to talk to him much but she already really liked this guy.  He clearly was getting the memo.

She was starting to wonder if she’d sucked all the oxygen from Colin’s brain when he didn’t jump in on this.  She elbowed him slightly which seemed to trigger him into action.

“Of course,” he said after a moment. “I’m really sorry that we didn’t have much time to hang out but hopefully Eloise hasn’t bored you too much.”

Eloise seemed to think this meant she needed to go too.  She started grabbing her bag, trying to stand.

“I hate that our night was cut short-“

“Oh no, I wouldn’t dream of stealing you away from Phillip,” Penelope said after a moment, leaning into Colin for full effect and trying to will herself to look pathetic. “Please stay so his night isn’t ruined. Colin can take care of me.”

Eloise was definitely suspicious.  Her eyes moved back and forth between Colin who had plastered the look of pure innocence on his face and Penelope who looked the picture of death.  They were definitely on to something.  Phillip seemed to think it was legitimate though and she shrugged deciding to just leave it be.

“I’ll make sure she gets home safe,” Phillip assured.  

“Then it’s settled then,” Colin said with a nod, arm going around Penelope’s back to lead her up and out of the club before Eloise could change her mind.

--

In the grand scheme of things, the wait between the car being ordered to take them home and them arriving wasn’t that long but it felt about a million years.  

As the slipped into the back of the car, Penelope couldn’t help but laugh when Colin pulled out his wallet and handed a hundred dollar bill to the driver.

“You see nothing, you know nothing,” he told the driver who accepted the money and thus the promise of absolutely ignoring them. He had ever intention of behaving but it never hurt to have someone turn a blind eye. The vehicle started moving without further question from the driver and that was all he wanted.

Colin grinned sheepishly in the dark before reaching to turn Penelope’s face so he could claim her lips again.  He’d not wanted to stop at the bar and he was grateful to have the freedom to do it again even if the car wasn’t exactly private.

He certainly wasn’t ashamed to kiss her in front of other people. His problem was that his lips were pretty eager to explore more than her mouth and he wasn’t quite sure how much longer he could behave himself.

There was also the matter that they hadn’t actually discussed what was happening between them and he felt like they ought to.  He wasn’t under any illusion that he didn’t have a reputation albeit a false one.  He didn’t want Penelope to have the wrong idea about his intentions nor did he want her to feel pressure to do anything either.

She seemed to be the one calling the shots more than he was lately and he wasn’t upset about it. He couldn’t help but find the moments when she took control, made it clear precisely what she wanted appealing.  He’d always known the confident, direct girl existed but more often than not she let herself be pushed to the shadows.  It was silly when she was so funny, smart and beautiful!

He admittedly felt his pants tighten when he heard the click of her seat belt, felt her move from her seat to his lap and her dress rose slightly bunching against her thighs.  She was wonderfully warm against him and so perfect. He his hands moved to her hips to try and grip her.

His eyes closed when her mouth moved to tease at his neck.   An audible groan escaped him and he was grateful that the driver decided to turn up the music he was listening to.  He wanted to move his hands from her hips to her ass or elsewhere but he kept clutching her hips to try and keep himself in check.

“Pen,” he murmured after a second, knowing that he had to gain some self-control.  He had to actually have a conversation with her before he ended up having his way with her in the back of this vehicle. She deserved so much more than that.

Her eyes opened slightly and she did pull back, confusion flickering across her face.  Colin couldn’t help but pick up on what appeared to be hurt playing on her features and he felt like an absolute monster for it.

“What’s wrong?” she asked before trying to slip back to her seat. He shook his head no, hand tightening harder to keep her precisely where she was in his lap.

“I want to talk,” he said resolutely.

Penelope’s face turned ghastly white.

“I misread the whole thing and you don’t owe me any explanation for that,” she said trying to cut him off at the pass if he was going to tell her that he wasn’t looking for something long-term or that he couldn’t possibly want to be with her. It made sense to her. Colin wanting to be with her was too good to be true. “We’ve always been friends. You don’t have to… ”

He kissed her again to silence her not wanting to hear another minute of her thinking that he didn’t want her.  It was ludicrous.  

“Are you going to let me talk?” he asked when he broke away.

She nodded.

“Good. I was trying to tell you that I don’t want to just kiss you,” he told her after a moment. “I mean, clearly I want to do more than that but – I mean, we’ve known each other for a long time and my entire family cares about you. I care about you too.”

Penelope didn’t have to question for a minute that he did.

“I care about you too,” she told him softly.

“I need you to understand that if you let me have my way with you, you’re never going to be rid of me again,” he said firmly.  “I need you to know that I’m going to be all in and I need to be sure you will be as well.”

Penelope wasn’t sure that she’d heard him correctly.  Was he suggesting that she might be the one who decided it was a one and done?  It was the most insane thing she’d ever heard in her life.

“You think that I’m going to shag and run?” she asked looking at him like he had grown another head. “I’ve had a crush on you since we were practically children.”

“No,” he said after a moment, jaw tightening. He didn’t think that was anything special and she was.  He wasn’t as confident as he might like the world to think. He could let momentary vulnerability come through here. “I just – what if I don’t live up to your expectations?”

“What I don’t live up to yours?” she said turning it back on him.  She didn’t consider herself beautiful.  She could hide behind her clothes but when they came off would he be repulsed by her curves? Would he dislike her inexperience?  She couldn’t imagine a scenario where he didn’t live up to her expectations but the other way around seemed far more probable.

“That won’t be happening,” he told her shaking his head.

“Then maybe we slow it down,” she said after a moment, biting her lip.  “Until we’re both sure that the other isn’t going anywhere. I mean, not too slow and definitely not a secret because I’m going to talk to Eloise but a little less impulsive, a little more…thoughtful.”

“Okay,” he said with a nod, realizing the car had finally come to a stop. They were actually home.  “Well I think that we have a lot of ground to cover and the house to ourselves for a little while.  I do believe I’m supposed to be taking care of you so if you just happen to sleep in my bed that won’t be a problem.”

“I don’t suppose it would.”

Penelope moved off him enough to open the door and climb out, Colin following behind with a polite word of thanks for the driver.  

“One more thing,” he said moving behind her, keeping the conversation going.

She turned her head toward him watching while he maneuvered around her to unlock the door and let them in.  She kicked off her heels at the entrance.

“Okay?” she said waiting for him to say it.

“If someone asks, you’re my girlfriend,” he said firmly. It wasn’t a question but a statement. Of course, she could argue it if she wanted.

“I don’t remember you asking?” she said, pausing slightly, amusement was written on her face though.

Colin wasn’t one to turn away from a challenge though or an opportunity to be overly dramatic.  He paused, moved down to one knee.

“Will you allow this to be an official thing?” he asked her, gazing up at her.  

“Well since you asked nicely,” she teased.

[cattles-bians]

damie vibecca exes au pt 9

post directory

obsetress: ready ok ot4 hc incoming

em: ot4! ot4! ot4

obsetress: after dani breaks up with her viola cuts all her hair off n it's the first impulsive thing she's ever allowed herself to do in her whole life (which should also tell you exactly how fucked up she was by it) n so then we have

obsetress: short curly hair viola

em: what is wrong with you

em: oh i love a dramatic haircut as a motif

obsetress: by the time she and rebecca start hooking up it's grown into a long bob and she keeps that for a while tbh because like

obsetress: viola has impulses all the time but she either: suppresses them, or thinks about them and then does them to the point where they can no longer be considered impulsive

obsetress: vs um

obsetress: dani has impulses all the time and used to suppress them but then fully leaned into

obsetress: charging headfirst into whatever the fuck (vp speech ref sheds a tear)

em: OTP: dont you wanna go apeshitt

obsetress: and thinking about how people change u and rub off on u for the better even after they leave

obsetress: viola: wants to go apeshitt

obsetress: viola: thinks about going apeshitt, thinks about all the ways it would benefit her, thinks about how she would enjoy it even if it did not in any way benefit her

obsetress: viola: yes ok don't you wanna go apeshitt

em: no but i am i am thinking abt like. dani and viola as both sort of? dragged into being housewives and homemakers because Women n viola didn’t really have the power to change her situation (even if she got isabel out of it!) and dani actually managed to call it off

obsetress: YEAH

obsetress: grits teeth

obsetress: once again crying over very intentional very deliberate danvi parallels that no one else wants to talk about and i think even in this au right

obsetress: viola is socialized in such a specific space that this can very much still be true

obsetress: and i think like part of what draws her to dani is exactly that––that dani had the freedom to do that much sooner––but also she resents dani for exactly that too

obsetress: even when they're together, and that's the possession piece too

obsetress: i think a part of her thinks if she can't do it for herself she can have it for herself and that's close enough

obsetress: like she v much covets dani

em: ah the unique way that lesbians fuck each other up bc of living in a homophobic and misogynistic society

em:i mean who doesn’t covet danis ass

obsetress: literally and metaphorically

obsetress: and part of dani definitely knows that but part of dani (at least until she doesn't) likes it

obsetress: (also this is kinda what i was getting at w my insane lil pwp alfjadslf but i think it tracks here too)

obsetress: because she's like "well this is what it's supposed to be but it didn't work with eddie because i don't like men but now i'm with a woman and this is how it's supposed to be"

obsetress: "and i like being wanted it's nice to be wanted by someone i want for once"

obsetress: but yeah thinking a lot about the danvi dynamic once again

obsetress: viola short curly hair to viola long bob

obsetress: YEAH I JSUT

obsetress: WENT TO HER INSTA TO FIND

obsetress: AND THEN GOT

obsetress: SO DISTRACTD

[em note: edited out a 30 minute tangent going through pictures from kates instagram]

obsetress: so anyway the whole point of this. long bob viola

obsetress: rebecca loves long bob viola she rly loves um. sitting on her lap and running her fingers back through her hair

obsetress: when she and dani see each other again for the first time dani's all "oh. you cut your... hair" and vi's like "i did" and dani's like "it, um. looks... it looks... good?"

em: i think it’s nice when viola does something for herself :)

obsetress: it's nice :)

obsetress: i'm happy for her :)

obsetress: wish she didn't have to look so much hotter though :)

obsetress: don't make that face, babe, it's fine :)

obsetress: you know i love you :)

em: WAIT

em: dani had a fucking moment. she’s like

obsetress: oh dani likes her girls w curly hair huh

em: counting on her fingers. how many ppl has she dated w

em: YEAH

obsetress: YEAHDLKFJSLDFDFJSLDFj

em: CURLY BROWN HAIR

obsetress: OH MGOD EDDIE TOO

obsetress: NOT JUST GIRLS

obsetress: aw baby has a type

em: so actually it is DANI who ends up w the strongest routine

em: just short bob hair viola sitting next to jamie and dani has a fuckjng. out of body experience. perceives herself a little too hard

obsetress: she's just. staring

obsetress: mouth def hanging open

obsetress: then someone's like "dani? dani?" and she's blinking like five times in a row and sitting up straight

obsetress: but she does def have that moment at brunch

em: jamie doesn’t twig it

em: violas like. violas got a keen eye for anyone ‘copying’ her style. raises one devastating eyebrow

obsetress: dani and vi devastating eyebrow partners n crime

obsetress: later that night, in bed: jamie?

jamie: wot?

dani: do i have a type?

obsetress: jamie immediately wants to jump to no because how could she have anything in common w––

obsetress: oh. oh

em: jamie’s lil wispy premature greys set her apart

em: ‘jamie HATES it when she has things in common w viola’ is my favourite bit sjddkhd

obsetress: jamie "not sure how viola has no greys n she's how much older than me again" taylor

em: dani realises she actually has. no idea how old viola is

em: barely even knows a birthday

em: maybe viola even has like. a decoy birthday

em: queen of being mysterious for the drama of it all

obsetress: "she's just too stubborn to grey is all" "i'm stubborn!" "mm" "wossat supposed to mean" "you're..." "i'm what" "you like to... pretend? you're stubborn" "pretend i'm–– i am!" "jamie, i asked you to repark the car because i didn't want to get out of bed and it's street cleaning day and you immediately jumped up to do it even though you can barely parallel park"

em: WHIPPED

obsetress: jamie's quiet for a long time then, softly: "can parallel park just fine"

obsetress: "mm"

obsetress: whipped as hell

obsetress: this led me to everyone making dani or viola parallel park all the time when they go anywhere

obsetress: hc dani is a Very Good driver. idk why but it tickles me

em: i think um. dani is v independent and wants to be able to do things herself

em: and i think she probably got her license before eddie, but as soon as eddie got his....

obsetress: and dani's better than him n got a better score than him, and yet

em: and yet!

em: they swap out being deso driver if they’re gonna be drinking. or jsut call a taxi lmao

em: i’m so endeared by Extremely Good Driver Dani

em: dani does a reverse park without thinking

obsetress: viola loves her martinis n dani is drunk off of half a glass of sangria

obsetress: same!!!!!!!

obsetress: also just like. imagining

obsetress: dani checking all her mirrors

em: no

em: HANNAH

obsetress: and adjusting everything so fastidious

obsetress: OH GOD

obsetress: i didn't––

em: i jumped

em: phew it’s actually cute

obsetress: yeah! dw i'm not sick

em: well

obsetress: she just goes through her whole lil checklist and is so meticulous and precise

em: jamies like ‘we’re the same height’ and danis like ‘well.’

obsetress: oh god the four of them driving to the seaside for a vacation together (lots of content to mine here, will have to put a pin in most of it because i am getting sleepy) but they end up taking the truck much to vi’s chagrin just because it can hold the most

obsetress: (like viola doesn’t have a range rover but listen it needs to be dani n jamie’s car for this to work)

obsetress: and vi and rebecca are sitting in the back and then rebecca’s frowning and blinking and digging a headband out of the seat between them and viola immediately just. knows

obsetress: she’s like “dani?” “mm?” “you and jamie... have cleaned your car recently, right?” (jamie’s chiming in: “i’m right here, vi, you can address me too,” viola pointedly ignores her) “um... maybe a couple months ago? why?” “well,” and vi pokes her disdainfully with the headband, “can you at least tell me you’ve had it cleaned between whenever this got stuck between the seats and rebecca and me sitting here now?”

obsetress: dani just GRINS sheepishly

obsetress: “i could tell you that, but...” “but?” dani mumbles “it would be a lie”

obsetress: anyway dunno why vi’s that upset about having to sit in the backseat where dani n jamie hooked up, like, last week when it’s not like she and rebecca haven’t been inside the two of them respectively but it’s absolutely the kind of contrarian shit she’d choose to be pressed about and it makes me laugh so

[365days365movies]

May 6, 2021: The Martian (2015) (Recap: Part One)

We’re leaving lo-fi sci-fi, people. Kind of.

I mentioned before that films like Her are what I define as “lo-fi sci-fi”, which is a category that I’ve kind of made up. Basically, it’s the science fiction version of low fantasy, meaning it contains science fiction themes contained within an otherwise contemporary setting. In the case of Her, Joaquin Phoenix’s character, along with many others, live in a world and setting basically like ours, but with technology advanced enough to generate AIs (like Siri) that are intelligent enough to actually ascend our reality. Because we live in a society.

You give me Joaquin Phoenix, I’m gonna make a Joker reference; it’s in the contract of my existence. Anyway, that is admittedly kind of broad, right? I mean, that has the capability of crossing over with a BUNCH of sci-fi genres and themes. And, considering that we’ve already seen magic, speculative technology, time travel, monsters, and artificial intelligence, we’ve already touched on quite a bit.

And with science fiction, the sky’s the limit. Literally. So, I think it behooves us to re-examine lo-fi sci-fi a little bit. Specifically, we should note that it can also be defined as an extension of currently existing technologies and possibilities. Writers would call this “speculative sci-fi”, assuming in this case that it’s set within the present or a near and attainable future. Her definitely fits in this category, as does Westworld. But, let’s crossover to another genre by speculating upon another possibility. And it begins with this man. Probably.

Hey, Elon, what’s up? Now, Mr. Musk here is a...controversial figure, for COMPLETELY understandable reasons. Instead of touch upon the man himself, I feel like touching upon one of his recent focuses: space travel. With SpaceX and the various upcoming space trips and journeys that they’re planning, Musk has made it clear that he plans to shoot to the Moon. Again, literally.

In fact, this full plan is to go even further than that, and to fuel potential commercial space flights in the future, which is admittedly very cool. And of course, if you’re going to shoot for the Moon...

Guys...guys, that’s Mars. THAT’S FUCKING MARS

Is that not amazing? We have sound and pictures from FUCKING MARS! THAT’S A DIFFERENT PLANET, GODDAMN IT! It’s cooler than I have the ability to properly express, but it IS goddamn cool. And this means that, easily within my lifetime, we could (and likely will) land on Mars. Which is amazing. God, I really want to see that happen.

And so, landing on Mars is BARELY science fiction, but since we haven’t yet done so...yeah, it’s fictional at the moment. And so, any film about landing on Mars falls within this category. Well...to an extent.

2000′s Mission to Mars, for example, was a Disney-funded film (to my IMMENSE surprise; and it’s based off of an old Disney World ride, WHAT), and a movie that I saw a LOT when I was a kid. I also barely remember it, to be honest. But that film is straight-up science fiction because of, well...aliens. The idea of Martians is, as far as we know it, fictional. And most fiction involving Mars includes these aliens somehow. Whether it’s DC Comics’ entire civilization of Martians, as seen in Justice League, Supergirl, or Young Justice...

...Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s heavily mythologized civilization, as seen in the Barsoom series of novels (and another Disney film)...

...Or one of the best Looney Tunes characters.

Mmm. Yes. Isn’t that lovely?

But, yeah, Mars and aliens go hand-in-hand in our media. So, to properly look at lo-fi science and speculative science fiction in relation to the Red Planet, we’ll need a movie that goes to the planet, and doesn’t touch upon the concept of aliens AT ALL.

Enter...Ridley Scott?

Yeah, the director of Legend, Alien, Thelma and Louise, Blade Runner, Gladiator. Also the director of Kingdom of Heaven, Prometheus, Exodus: Gods and Kings, and...ugh, 1492: Conquest of Paradise. I’ve talked about his mixed record before, in my Recap of Legend right here.

In 2014, he was brought on to adapt a book by Andy Weir called The Martian, which is a great book! I’ve listened to the audio book, and I whole-heartedly recommend doing that. And because of that, I am VERY MUCH looking forward to watching this film, especially seeing as it’s often called one of the best science fiction films made during that year, and was critically acclaimed then and now. It got seven Oscar nominations (although it won none of them), amongst other awards. So, enough navel-gazing, huh? The Martian!

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap (1/2)

On Acidalia Plantitia, at the landing site of the Ares III mission, a group of scientists are gathering samples. These scientists are commander and geologist Melissa Lewis (Jessica Chastain), pilot Rick Martinez (Michael Pena), systems operator Beth Johanssen (Kate Mara), surgeon Chris Beck (Sebastian Stan), German chemist Alex Vogel (Aksel Hennie), and overly talkative botanist Mark Watney (Matt Damon). 

The group seems to have a good dynamic, but that dynamic is interrupted by a massive dust storm, which is large enough to cause the entire crew to evacuate. However, in the chaos of the dust storm, Mark is hit by debris and lost in the shuffle. Although Lewis goes back to find him, she can’t get to him before they need to leave, and Mark is believed dead. This is reported (pretty callously) by NASA Director Teddy Sanders (Jeff Daniels) to the press soon afterwards.

But of course, that wouldn’t be much of a movie, now would it? Mark’s alive! And Mark’s alone. With his suit damaged, and low on oxygen, he trudges back to headquarters, which is intact and still contains breathable oxygen. He gets inside, and realizes that he’s been stabbed in the abdomen by some debris. He removes it, and stitches up his own wound. Which is...god, it’s fucking BRUTAL just to think about, nevertheless watch.

Once he’s finished, he records a log for the future, if he doesn’t make it. It’s day 19 of the 31-day mission at this point, and Mark’s basically screwed. He needs lasting oxygen, water, and food, and he might need that for 4 years, when the next manned mission can come to the red planet. Additionally, he has absolutely no way to contact NASA, leaving him completely stranded. Another dust storm rolls in that night, and Mark looks over the belongings of his colleagues, packing them up for their eventual return. It’s somber, to say the least. However, Mark affirms that he’s determined not to die on the planet.

After doing the math, Mark should have enough food to last him for about 300 days, especially if he rations it. Until then, he’ll need to figure out how to grow his own food, on a planet where nothing grows. Which is, of course, going to be a difficult feat to accomplish. But Mark Watney’s a botanist with botany powers, and he’s gonna do it.

It’s day 31, and Mark’s brought in dirt from the outside, and uses the bio-waste from the crew’s stay there for a form of compost. After 5 days, mostly full of him watching Happy Days on TV and trying to farm, he realizes that he needs water, both for himself and for the soil. To do that, he goes chemical and decides to use hydrogen-laden rocket fuel, wood from Martinez’s belongings, and good old-fashioned fire to make water! And since hydrogen + oxygen = water, it should work. With a minor side-effect.

So, yeah, he blew himself up. As as he records a video log, the sound mixing makes itself impressively known by subtly and realistically generating a tinnitus sound. It’s VERY well-done, holy shit. Anyway, he makes a stable fire, and the place is soon covered in condensation, moistening the room and the soil successfully.

We get to day 54, and Mark’s planted leftover potatoes from the crew in order to grow them. And while he’s being mourned at a funeral on Earth, and in NASA, he’s seeing the fruits (or shoots) of his efforts.

Back on Earth, Mars Mission Director Vincent Kapoor (Chiwetel Ejiofor) is trying to convince Director Teddy to let him lobby for another Ares mission, despite the risk of bad press for the callousness of the proximity to Watney’s death. Meanwhile, satellite technician Mindy Park (Mackenzie Davis) looks down at the Ares III site, and realizes that the site has changed visually, meaning that Mark may actually be alive.

Shocked by this, she tells Kapoor, Teddy, and media director Annie Montrose (Kristen Wiig) about this, and they realize the absolute clusterfuck that this whole thing is. They can’t tell the other members of the Ares III crew about it, because it’d devastate them for the 10 months they have to get back to Earth, at the VERY least. They can’t tell the WORLD about this, because they just had a funeral for the guy, and they’d reveal that they left him stranded on Mars accidentally, destroying faith in the Mars Missions Program. And they can’t save Mark, who they’re sure will starve eventually. It’s a mess. And Kapoor also wonders what’s happening to Mark psychologically through all of this.

And yet, they reveal this to the world regardless, causing the clusterfuck reaction that they think it’s going to cause. But Mark’s busy on Mars, figuring out how to get to the site of the next Ares IV mission in 4 years, at the Schiaparelli crater about 50 days travel away. This is a struggle, as his Rover has only so much power and fuel, and he can only get more power by cutting out the heater is risking death by freezing. So, problems. However, he figures out a potential solution: radioactive isotopes! In a move that is, let’s face it, COMPLETELY INSANE, he digs up a radioactive generator from the ship in order to heat the ship.

On Earth, they try to figure out Mark’s moves, as well as how to resupply Ares IV sooner for Mark’s benefit. This is with the director of JPL, Bruce Ng (Benedict Wong), and the flight director of the ship Hermes, Mitch Henderson (Sean Bean), who insists that they tell the Ares II crew. They continue to monitor Mark, and note that he’s been travelling for 17 days in his Rover towards something. Kapoor figures it out, and flies to California.

See, Mark needs a way to contact NASA, and he believes that the way to do so is through Pathfinder, the first probe ever sent to Mars in 1997, lasting for 9 months since landing until they lost contact. Mark digs it up, and the people at JPL in California start their own efforts for contact. And despite communication being extremely rudimentary, initially limited to yes/no questions that use a still-frame camera, it fucking WORKS! WHOO!

To boost this communication hurdle, the two camps figure out a hexadecimal system for communication, allowing them to communicate using a circular table of numbers that represent an alphabet. That allows them to teach Mark to hack into the Rover, allowing it to piggyback off of its broadcast signal and send them messages via keyboard. Nice! Now that communication is reasonably possible, Mark’s able to ask how the crew is handling his death. But upon learning that they haven’t told him. He’s understandably a little goddamn enraged. And so, they FINALLY tell the Ares III crew about this.

The news breaks the crew, even though Mark continues to stress that he’s all right, and that it wasn’t their fault. Meanwhile, Mark’s able to survive for 912 days with his potato plants, and things improve with the help of technicians on Earth. They plan to launch a supply rocket to him in the next year, and things are looking fine! Unless, of course...something goes horribly HORRIBLY wrong.

Well...fuck. Good place to pause for Part Two, then?

[angelsunflowers-fanfics]

Nathan Prescott x Female!reader (The Sketchbook incident)

Request: I had this idea for a Nathan Prescott and female reader imagine where he’s secretly her muse and she drawing him every day in her sketchbook but one day he sees and destroys her sketchbook and she gets so upset she stops drawing and he feels bad and realizes how special it was to her and buys her a new one Sorry if that long, it’s my first time Also love your writing <3

Fandom: Life is strange

Genre: Mix of Angst and fluff (Happy ending)

Linktree

~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

Rough sketches, pencil marks, pen and an assortment of colors rubbed onto her fingers and arms as she shaded in a certain area of the model, of her picture of Nathan. As an artist, (y/n) needed a muse and without his knowledge, she had chosen Nathan Prescott to be it. She didn’t know how he’d react if he even found out. Would he be embarrassed? Angry?

Who knew?

(y/n) grunted in an effort as she finally finished shading the base of Nathan’s neck in her beloved sketchbook. The book itself had been used and filled up to the brim with photographs and sketches of the school, her friends but most importantly, of Nathan.

The two didn’t talk very often, but she saw how soft he could actually be; in the little moments, he let his facade vanish. She wanted to be closer to him, but… How do you approach a person like that? Not to mention, that he had a reputation for going too far.

(y/n) pulled herself away from the sketch, glancing around at the yard to admire everyone enjoying life peacefully.

Max was talking to a few people as always, being a bit nosy, but nice. Evan was taking pictures, Warren was probably watching another weird movie of his in his dorm. Everything was pretty normal except for Nathan Prescott storming up to (y/n) with rage-filled eyes and clenched fists. He was angry, anybody within 50 feet of his could see that. He was too obvious with his anger, didn’t even try to hide it.

(Y/n) gave a polite smile to the obviously Pissed off Prescott, nervous about what he might say or do. He could be a bit unpredictable. He stopped in front of her, glaring at the large sketchbook in her hands.

“Good morning Nathan. Lovely day, isn’t it?” (y/n) asked. 

Nathan only continued to glare harshly, the students in the surrounding area began to stare In curiosity.

No one dared to say a word, they didn’t want the wrath of Nathan directed toward them.

He dug a hand into his pocket to fish out his phone, he found the photo that could be the cause of his anger of the day and shoved it into (y/n’s) face. It took her a moment to realize that the photograph was of one of her drawings of Nathan.

And she knew exactly how it got onto the web. Victoria Chase.

“What the fuck is this?” He asked, anger seethed into his words.

(y/n) nervously laughed but soon stared up at his eyes. Those gorgeous blue eyes and that pretty dirty blonde hair wasn’t helping. It was the perfect combination. There didn’t need to be a reason as to why she liked to draw him so much, the pretty face and different expressions he used in day-to-day life were amazing. So was he. (y/n) wanted to find a way to tell him that she actually liked him but knowing Nathan, she wasn’t sure if he would recuperate her feelings.

“Um, a drawing of you that I made… Nathan, I’m sorry. I showed it to Victoria, I didn’t know that she took a picture and posted it online,” She confessed. 

The taller boy slowly pocketed his phone before he grabbed the sketchbook out of (y/n)’s nimble fingers. 

“Wait, what are you doing?” (y/n) asked, panic seeped into her chest.

Nathan tossed the sketchbook into the trash can before lighting a match, (y/n) stood up quickly knowing what he was going to do. (y/n) rushed to him, trying to grab the match out of his hand but failing in the end as he dropped it into the trash can watching the sketchbook go up in flames.

The students surrounding (y/n), stared at her with empathy but didn’t say a word. Nathan slowly turned to (y/n), crossing his arms over his chest. He still looked angry, even after destroying the one thing that (y/n) held precious.

“I’m not your subject to use,” Nathan growled.

Nathan glanced into (y/n)’s eyes just in time to see her tears building up and drip from the pools in her eyes. Nathan felt a strike go through his heart, guilt. An ugly emotion that he felt all too often, but now toward (y/n)? Someone who was actually nice to him no matter what other people told her?

He clenched his jaw in anger, this time toward himself. He watched as (y/n) slowly turned around and walked into the dormitory building, needing to be alone for a while. He made her cry. Nathan Prescott made (y/n) cry. He messed up, big time. Was there even a way to fix what he broke?

The group surrounding Nathan slowly disbanded, not wanting his anger to blow up again in such a short period of time. 

Nathan was left alone with his thoughts, he ran a hand over his face and picked up his phone as it rang. Victoria. Fuck, what was he supposed to say?

“Hey,” Nathan whispered, his voice hoarse. 

Nathan slowly trudged back to his own dorm, he had thinking to do indeed. How was he going to make this up?

“Nathan, what the hell happened? Did you burn her sketchbook? I told you to go talk to her. There are videos all over social media… The comments are brutal,” Victoria said. 

Nathan barreled into his room and sat on his bed, running a hand through his hair to tangle it lightly. He didn’t know what he was thinking. If he was thinking at all during that moment. The sketchbook that he burned… sketchbook, maybe he could try to make it up by buying her another one? It was a start…

Nathan and Victoria conversed over his previous actions and how he could fix them while (y/n) on the other side of the dormitory building, stared out the window, wanting to fly away to get away from these gross feelings. Even after what happened, she still liked him. Anybody that found out about her feelings would call her insane. She had no will to draw anymore, what was the point if her own muse didn’t want to be drawn? Right?

She fumbled with her fingers lightly before glancing at her watch, great. She had physics in 10 minutes, at least she wouldn’t have to worry about art for a while now. She slowly grabbed the bag she threw onto the ground and slowly left the dormitory building, hesitantly. If it were her choice, she’d stay in her dorm all day, but she didn’t.

She slowly trudged into the academic building and into her class, wait. No. Nathan was in this class as well, how did she not realize that sooner? (y/n) ignored Nathan’s pleading stare and sat next to Victoria, hoping for some peace and quiet before class started.

“He feels awful you know. I know what he did was terrible but–” (y/n) shrugged her shoulders, cutting off Victoria’s plea.

“It doesn’t matter anymore. I’m done,” (y/n) whispered. 

Victoria glanced to Nathan, giving him a pity look before turning her attention to the front of the class as it finally began. Maybe she and Nathan could try again later.

The class was boring and dull. All Nathan could think about was how to make it up to (y/n). For over a year now he had been trying to get closer to her but each time he talked, everything just blew up in his face. 

The bell for the end of class finally rung, Nathan quickly shoved all of his things into his bag before trying to talk to (y/n). She was almost out the door now. So close. Nathan maneuvered to be right in front of her, using his arms to block her from leaving before talking to her.

“Wait, just stop for a second. Look, I feel real–” Nathan spoke, regret spilled from his lips. 

(y/n) glanced around the room for a moment before ducking under one of his arms and leaving, using his height to her advantage. Nathan blinked for a few moments before leaving the classroom and trying to find a sight of her but (y/n) had quickly disappeared into the crowd of rowdy teenagers. 

“Fuck,” Nathan whispered to himself. 

The crowd slowly began to disperse as teenagers found their next class or left the building but there was still no sign of (y/n) anywhere. Nathan groaned and slowly walked back to his dorm to try to figure a way to talk to (y/n).

(y/n) on the other hand, was holding her breath as she watched Nathan walk past her hiding spot and to the dormitory building. She stood out of the spot and started to walk to her own dorm when she bumped into Kate Marsh, she was an absolute sweetheart.

“Hey, (y/n). I heard about what happened. Are you alright?” Kate asked.

(y/n) brushed her hair back stressfully, she didn’t even know where to begin in what was wrong at the moment. So many things. Too little time.

“Yeah, I just… I didn’t expect him to do that. I’m kind of thinking of giving up drawing,” (y/n) mentioned. 

Kate’s eyes widened slightly but that didn’t stop her from pulling a brand new sketchbook from behind her back. (y/n) was slow to grab the item, she had been thinking about not going to Blackwell anymore because of what happened.

“Well, in case you want to pick it up again. You can use that. Okay? Maybe things will turn out alright?” Kate offered.

(y/n) gave Kate a genuine smile before gesturing to the dorms, “I’m gonna head to my room for the night. I’ll see you later.” 

Kate stepped out of the way and watched as (Y/n) carried the sketchbook naturally and quickly walked to her dormitory. But what she didn’t know was that all of the girls in the dormitory building had a little surprise in store for her.

(y/n) rubbed her eyes tiredly and walked through the main door of the dormitory to see all of the girls crowding the hallway bearing gifts of the art variety; sketchbooks, pencils, markers, etc. She jumped back lightly at the picture in front of her.

“Um, hey?” (y/n) asked akwardly.

Max was the first to walk out and grab one of (y/n)’s hands, guiding her to the center of the hallway to talk to everyone. (y/n) wasn’t normally very social but with the girls that live in the same building as her? Quite close.

“The video of Nathan burning your sketchbook is everywhere… we just wanted to do something nice for you,” Max said. 

(y/n) smiled gratefully and took more sketchbooks from her neighbors. She knew that they were only trying to help but how could someone draw if their muse didn’t want to be a muse? It was difficult to find someone else.

Max grabbed half of the gifts from all of the girls and followed (y/n) into her dorm to put all of the gifts on her desk. She didn’t know if she’d even fill these out at all considering that her will to draw was drained because of what Nathan did…

“Oh, I get it… Nathan was your muse…” Max set everything down, taking a seat on (y/n)’s bed before continuing with her thought, “That’s why you’re not drawing… he gave you the will to draw…” Max gave her friend one last smile before approaching the exit of the dorm. “Oh, before I forget, Warren had something to talk to you about. He’s In his dorm.”

(Y/n) stared at all of the art supplies given to her a few short minutes ago. It was stacked high on the desk, about to topple over. She was happy that her friends cared so much.

Without much thought, (y/n) walked to the boys’ dormitory building to visit a friend. Hopefully, she wouldn’t run into Nathan. She just needed to be careful.

(y/n) walked through the main door to the dormitory building and made a beeline for Warren’s room, she didn’t even bother with knocking on the sophomore’s door and just let herself in. She didn’t want to be caught by Nathan again. She was not ready to face him.

“Warren? Max, said you wanted to see me?” (y/n) called out.

The younger student quickly popped out of his desk chair and strolled up to (y/n), arms spread out for a bear hug. He was the most touchy of the group of friends she had, which was perfectly fine. (y/n) gave him a soft smile before slowly closing the gap and letting him hold her fragile form.

“Everyone said you were having a hard time and then Nathan… I’m sorry. Maybe everything will be better soon?” Warren apologized sympathetically.

(y/n) could only shrug lightly before slowly pulling away, letting herself become comfortable in the small room. But the thought of being in the boy’s dormitory, where Nathan lived, was peaking from the back of her mind. Warren stepped out of her space for a moment before grabbing a pack of oil paints from his desk and slowly handing them to (y/n); cautious to not scare her. 

“I got you something, you said that you’ve been wanting to try oil paint for a while now, right?” Warren said.

Though, she wasn’t sure when or if she’d be able to draw again, she appreciates the kind gesture. (y/n) slowly slipped the paints into her bag for safekeeping as she slowly gave Warren a small smile.

“Thanks, Warren… I think I’m gonna head back to my dorm… Sleep everything off. I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

The younger classmate only nodded lightly and watched as (y/n) slowly walked out of the room to hide away for the rest of the evening. The events of the day were hectic and cruel, all she wanted to do was sleep it off and hope that the morning would be better.

(y/n) peaked around the hallway for a few moments before deciding that it was safe and leaving Warren’s room before heading toward the main entrance of the Dorm building, wanting to find her own dorm before Nathan caught onto the fact that she was even in the same building as him. 

She breathed a small sigh of relief as she slowly started to pass the last dorm room and reached a hand out for the door when a pair of hands reached out from the last dorm and grabbed (y/n) to pull her inside.

(y/n) started thrashing in the arms of her unknown attacker as they placed a hand over her mouth so she couldn’t scream out for help. (y/n) stiffened as an exhale slowly reached her ear, causing her to shiver and listen closely.

“Stop squirming, It’s just me.” 

(y/n) roughly shoved Nathan away and faced him, her back pressed against the door. She stared up at him with a confused stare, why did he basically kidnap her? What for? He was fidgeting with his fingers nervously, he was scared to what will come next.

Her eyes were red and puffy from crying all day. The last thing she wanted to do was face the cause of her sorrow. Nathan Prescott, prestigious figure of Blackwell Academy… he was flustered by her mere appearance. He felt guilty about what happened this morning, he felt lower than low. To make it up to (y/n), Nathan wanted to get something for her… all she needed to do was open it.

“What do you want, Nathan? I should get back to my dorm, it’s late,” (y/n) said resentfully.  

It was not late, but everyone knew that (y/n) usually liked to return to her dorm after school and relax instead of partying like all of the other kids on campus.

Nathan took a step back to grab a wrapped box before presenting it to (y/n), a red hue was covering his features. He had never really apologized to someone, this was a first for him. Luckily, it was in the comfort of his own room and not the courtyard for everyone to see… again.

“Open it, please. This is my way of saying sorry… I… wasn’t thinking… I can be reckless and irritable…” He apologized.

(y/n) stared up at Nathan with an unknown look, she was not sure if she should take the gift. It could be anything, right? But Nathan didn’t go around giving just anybody random gifts… Maybe he really just wanted to try to redeem himself?

(y/n) ran a quick hand through her hair before making the mistake of glancing into Nathan’s eyes for a split second. His gaze was soft and pleading as he held the gift in his hands, his breath shaking only in the slightest from the nervousness of being near (y/n) once again; so soon.

“Fine… But if this is a joke–” (y/n) started to threaten but Nathan cut her off by carefully handing the recklessly wrapped gift into (y/n)’s paint-covered hands, their fingers brushed together lightly. The action quickly sent jolts of electricity through her and Nathan’s veins but neither person said a word about what they felt, too scared.

“It’s not. Promise. Open it,” Nathan said. 

(y/n) sighed lightly but gave him a half-smile before slowly opening the present before her hands run over the cover of a brand new sketchbook. Did he buy her a new sketchbook? She slowly let the wrapping paper fall to the floor so she could look at the sketchbook as whole, quickly glancing through the paper and the little accessories attached to it. (y/n) didn’t say a word as she discovered the feeling of the new gift. 

“I was angry and scared… Not about you or anything you did or said… I didn’t mean to take it out on you. I would never dream of doing that,” Nathan apologized.

(y/n)’s smile brightened as she realized that this was the sketchbook that she had been eyeballing for months now. She wasn’t able to buy it because it was far out of her price range for a sketchbook, but this one was special. It even came with pockets and sketching pencils. She glanced up and slowly placed the sketchbook onto his desk to grab both of his hands in her gentle grip.

“Nathan… I-” He was quick to cut her off, paranoid that she was going to yell at him like just about everyone in his life did. He was too used to it by now.

“I know that this will never replace what I did to your last sketchbook and I didn’t realize that I was your… Your muse. But I’m hoping that this will be a star–” 

(y/n) reached her hands up to grab Nathan’s face to slam her lips onto his, surprising him surely. Nathan flailed his arms for a few moments before deciding to rest his hands; one on the door next to (y/n)’s head and the other tangled in her hair. Nathan slowly relaxed into the motions, pressing his body closer to (y/n)’s.

Nathan tugged on (y/n)’s hair as he deepened the kiss, eliciting a soft moan from (y/n)’s lips. Before Nathan could ponder on the small action further, she bit down on his bottom lip. She wanted him to know how long she had been wanting this kiss to happen.

Nathan felt the same way, but before things could escalate, (y/n) softly slid her hands from Nathan’s face down to his chest to lightly push him away. She didn’t want things to go too far tonight.

“I forgive you… I was never angry at you for what you did, just sad. It hurt to see my muse destroy my work but maybe you can help me?” (y/n) asked.

Nathan didn’t say a word as he launched himself to his bed, propping his head up with one of his hands as he brought one of his knees up; turning to the side to face (Y/n). a small smirk ignited his face as he says the simple line that made (y/n) burst out laughing.

“Draw me like one of your french girls.”

(y/n) ignored her phone as it lit up with a few texts from Warren and Max, both worried. But she couldn’t be bothered with the sweet scene in front of her.

Maybe everything would be okay?

(y/n) glanced up from her sketchbook to get a quick glance, the growing confidence in him caused Nathan to send a small smile her way.

Yep, everything was going to turn out okay. Her muse was still hers, this time with his knowledge.

Nathan liked the idea of being a muse, it felt foreign but fitting.

[newtonsheffield]

Hey! I loved your new fic Enchanted btw! I was wondering if you give us some headcanons abt whether Benedict’s still goes to Kanthonys for Saturday brunch or has it been replaced by a new tradition? Also maybe you can do a separate post abt this but I am too lazy to do a separate ask. What happens to Sophie’s career? Does she get her own restaurant?

Wowie! I’m finally up to asks from Friday! ... On Sunday morning! My LORD! I’m so sorry about me but I love everyone’s enthusiasm for this Universe so much! I truly do not deserve everyone interest especially given my poor time management on responding to these!  Anyway! I’m so glad you enjoyed Enchanted and I’m afraid that Sophie and Ben will likely feature as supporting characters a little more often now that they’ve been introduced to the series Okay! Without further grandstanding! 

Some Benedict and Sophie content!!!

Benedict had gotten rather used to going to Anthony and Kate’s house for brunch on a saturday in the year since Kate had first invited him was a little it surprised to receive a text from his sister in law on the Friday after her wedding. Kate (Insane for Anthony??): Does Sophie have any dietary requirements? I forgot to ask her Monday He replied I’m not sure Why? Kate (Insane for Anthony??): For brunch tomorrow?? Were you not going to bring her??? Benedict had felt a warm feeling spreading through his chest. He’d greeted Sophie when she nervously arrived at his house later and then asked what her plans were for tomorrow morning. She’s looked Sceptically at him and said I Don’t know Ben. Kate and Anthony are so...intimidating. And Ben hadn’t been able to stop himself from laughing because the thought of Kate, who had let him climb into bed next to her and whine and complain for a year as she gently tried to spare his feelings being intimidating was totally ludicrous. To him at least. But he could see her point, His family was very different from hers, and the prospect would surely seem daunting. Anthony is a bit of a prim idiot, but Kate is great, we’re all actually shocked he managed to convince her to marry him, and they want to get to know you. He’d said softly and she’d been silent, watching him for a moment before nodding softly. 

Sophie had sat in his car the next morning, ready to jump out of her skin. She’d gotten out of the car, and stared at the house in front of her, stark white front with a blindingly red door looking slightly out of place, and let herself be tugged forward by Benedict, anxiety gnawing in her stomach even as he’d smiled at her. She’d panicked slightly as Benedict had knocked once, loudly, and then not waited before stepping through the door We can’t just walk into their house! Ben had laughed and said Their front door is never locked when they’re expecting people, we all do it Sophie wasn’t exactly sure what she’d expected to find inside this startlingly large house in the middle of mayfair, but she certainly hadn’t expected it to feel quite so homely. There were pictures of Anthony and Kate lining the stairs and one of Kate and Gregory smiling brightly, and Edwina Sheffield looking startlingly beautiful as a teenager smiling next to Kate at what must have been her high school graduation with two people who must be Kate’s parents. The house felt like it was overflowing with love and light and Sophie felt warm, happy, this was exactly the kind of house Sophie had wanted to grow up in. And then she heard the voices. Kaaaate! I swear to god your bastard has ruined my things for the last time! He’s eaten my shaving cream! Sophie felt her eyebrows raise, she hadn’t known Kate had a child and Anthony certainly hadn’t seemed like the kind of person to talk about a child like this. And was Kate... laughing about it? Benedict was too. he leaned in close and whispered You’ll see The next second a fat little corgi came sprinting down the stairs, foaming at the mouth, yipping happily, coming to a stop in front of Sophie. Kate came into the hall seconds later laughing brightly Sophie! Sorry you had to hear Anthony BEING A TOTAL PRICK She said, yelling the last part up the stairs towards her husband who scoffed back loudly. He’ll get over it soon, now come with me, we’re going to get loaded on mimosa’s and discuss your new job while the boys make us breakfast! She’d said, swatting Benedict’s hand away from Sophie and tugging her by the arm into her Kitchen and Sophie couldn’t help but feel a little jealous of Edwina Sheffield, who’d been this odd woman’s sister her whole life.      

[ziracona]

Hi! I just realised I havn't popped in in awhile. Do you have any headcanons u feel like sharing about the newer survivors?? (I love them all, they're so cool but I think imma have to say cheryl is my bby gurl. she's tired. let her rest.) also. i am. going insane. from a toothache :) - Sleepy

Hey! Hope your tooth pain clears up! I’m so sorry—that’s one of the worst. : /

Hmmm, I do, but I’m trying to think of ones I haven’t said in asks before. 😬 Unfortunately my memory of fictional characters is great, and my memory of what I said in asks is shitty. :’-]

I don’t know the newer survivors—except Nancy and Steve—as well as I do the older ones, because I’ve never written them, and I haven’t played Silent Hill. I like Zarina, Yui, and Cheryl a lot though. Poor fkn Cheryl can join Quentin in the “Please God, just one good day?” Existence. Rip to them both. 😭

Poor kid gets out of hell once, and ya throw her back in. :’-]

Let’s see—headcanon I am fairly sure I haven’t already shared. I think Yui and Min would get along really well, and Jane and Zarina would too.

Yui hates the serial killers especially, from her own personal experience, and goes to bat hard against them every time.

Ash flirts with everyone to a point it’s even more than Ace does, and for a while it becomes a competition between them to see who can flirt more and better than the other (not in a shitty way—everybody knows they have the competition going on and it’s more a ‘I can act better than you’ than a ‘I can win more hearts’ one.) Ace is declared the winner in class, Ash the winner in sheer quantity he’s able to churn out, and they agree to call it a semi-draw. It’s actually a really fun week for everyone, because they’re all constantly being complemented and flirted with in a way they know is performative and seeks 0 real actions from them in return, so essentially they are just showererd with ‘drunk girl in a bar bathroom’ levels of praise for seven days.

Felix and Nancy are the only two with significant others waiting back home, and they bond over talking about their wife/boyfriend and sharing stories and having someone around who understands that specific brand of pain and can encourage them that they’ll make it back home.

Tapp is a dad, so he gives Felix a lot of advice on stuff since he was an expecting father. Not so much “do this” advice, since his relationship with his family didn’t go so well, and he feels like he’s in absolutely no position to teach—more like “It’s okay. Women have been giving birth for thousands of years. She’s gonna make it just fine even if you’re not home yet, and you’ll get back to them. And I’m gonna teach you some of the tricks so you’ll be ready when you do. You can even surprise her by already knowing how to change a diaper and warm a formula bottle. I’ll show you how to do it,” and talking him through some of the stuff he would have been able to learn from infant care books. It’s sweet, but Tapp almost dies when Jane says its “Very heartwarming” and teases him, so they cut him some slack. Felix is really appreciative. Laurie has taken care of a ton of kids, and gives him some advice too, and so does Nancy, who had two younger siblings.

Steve is a disaster who suffers from “I like you and you are a girl, so *pigeon meme* Is this falling in love?” syndrome. Gets shot down hard by Laurie, who is ridiculously pissed at him for bringing it up during a trial when their lives are on the line, but after he gets over being super awkward around her, and she reaches out to be like, ‘Look, dumbass, why did you even like me?’ And he’s like ‘...because you’re, uh, really cool? A-and pretty? And...’ and eventually she’s like ‘Buddy, you don’t even really know me. You’re just lonely. You’re not in love with me, you just want to be, because you want to be in love with somebody, and that’s not gonna cut it, for me, or anyone. Be in love with a person—not with the concept of being in love. And for that to happen, you have to know them first.” And since Steve is good af self-improvement, he realizes she’s got a real point, and tries to find his worth outside of needing a girlfriend, and becomes both a lot happier, and one of Laurie’s closer friends. (Side note—this extends probably only to my initial Steve ideas. I had the idea batted around that in that universe, Stranger Things /is/ an existing show, but it’s based on a mix of urban legend and history from the 80s, and Nancy and Steve are the version from the actual 80s, and I think in that pitch Steve is dating Barb, who is still alive, and already worked through this specific issue, because many things happened differently for wild comedic ‘But in the show’ effect, becuase both them repeatedly going “WELL REALITY WAS A LITTLE DIFFERENT” when like, monster hunting shit from the show won’t work on the Demogorgan, and *Spit take* “THEY HAD ME HIT ON ROBIN?” “Ewwww” “YEAH ewww! She’s basically my lesbian little sister! We’ve been best friends since grade school! What the fuck :’-]” make for amazing joke potential. )

Cheryl starts having nightmares where she sees things from the Entity’s eyes she was never meant to see, and finding out dangerous amounts of information this way. The Entity decides at some point this is too big a threat, but because it’s proud, it doesn’t want to just kill her, as that would be admitting a human is a threat, so it starts having killers gun for her mercilessly to try to get her to give up, and the poor girl is in agony.

Zarina documents stuff form the realm constantly, and has a careful scrapbook collection of all notes and paraphernalia from past survivors. She also keeps conspiracy pages tacked together trying to figure out who they were becuase they deserve at least the justice of people somehow knowing how they died and what they went through. Laurie is a big help with this, and so is Claudette, who has been keeping stuff for a long time.

Yui is very no-nonsense, and protective. She gives off strong big sister vibes. She especially also loves board games/puzzles/other games like Shogi or Go and such, and Dwight and Adam create game pieces for her to play Go with when she mentions how much she used to like that kind of thing, and Yui is incredibly touched, and makes several other ones for people to play with too, and it becomes a very enjoyed pastime between trials. It’s engaging and competitive, but much more relaxed and low energy than sports or training or going for a run, so it’s a great alternative. Meg gets super into making puzzles, and all the artists do too, and take turns painting pictures on boards, cutting them into puzzle pieces with extreme painstakingly slow care, and then doing puzzles together. Jake is invaluable in the actual cutting pieces out area, but actually enjoys to do it.

Felix knows a lot more than anyone else about the Entity when he’s taken, so he spends a bunch of time with the research team trying to recall whatever he can from his childhood and sharing any information he has, then just stays on it because he wants to. He’s desperate to meet Benedict Baker someday himself, becuase that man seems to get around, and he really wants to know what happend to his father.

Everyone becomes protective as fuck of Cheryl when the Entity starts targeting her, and someone—I think Kate and or Meg—probably both together—as a one-off joke call themselves her knights at some point, becuase they’re running such dedicated protection detail, but it becomes a whole thing, and several more start to do it. They’ll like ‘fist clasped arm across chest at attention, quick bow’ when they see her, and it’s goofy as fuck, but it helps a lot making Cheryl’s reality more bearable. Plus, it’s really sweet. Nea gets in on this and comes back one day with a little daisy chain she made cause she was bored, sees Cheryl, it clicks, runs over and offers it as a ‘favor’. Zarina sees and comes back later that day from a trial and kneels and presents Cheryl with a rescued toolbox with a brand new part. This becomes increasingly common and extravagant, and Cheryl /cannot/ deal, but it’s like, genius, becuase it takes exactly this level of surreal goofy friend bullshit to distract from the hell she is living. She ends up just regularly having someone come back from a trial or trip to the woods, salute with an arm across their chest, bow, and present her with anything from a pinecone or pretty rock, to flowers or a medkit, to a salt statue or key, to a painting or hand made bracelet, to a makeshift weapon or a pillow. Everyone always tries to outdo each other, so the gifts tend to be extravagant. Zarina considers herself Cheryl’s righthand woman/personal knight by chocie, because she wanted a cause to fight for and has found one she truly loves, and she makes Cheryl her favorite gift so far, coming up to her at the end of a long day, after a very bad trial where Cheryl was mercilessly and slowly killed by the Pig, kneeling, and offering a thick shard of stained glass from the chapel, made sturdy and held in place with a few chunks of soldered and wrapped iron along the blade and down the grip, forming a razor sharp and reinforced stained glass knife.